#PolyamoryProblems

[finalfallenfantasy]

To Don’ts Pt. 1: Monogamy Advice

So you know how we all have to-do lists? No? Just me? Ok, just a few of us. But here’s the thing about to-do lists: we might should have to-don’t lists too.

I can only speak from my own experience, but I figured I’ll post some ideas of to-don’ts here

1. Don’t ask one partner for advice on whether to go monogamous with another partner or not. S did this recently, saying he needed advice about his new partner. I’m used to that, because people seem to think I have my head screwed on straight when it comes to relationships (God knows why, I’m just fumbling in the dark like everyone else), but then he said he’d never felt this way about anyone since he was 16. Ok, fine, that’s hurtful but honest. And obviously something I needed to hear, as I’d been feeling that way about him as well as M recently. I felt like the method wasn’t great but it was better I learn this now rather than later, when I’m fully invested in a serious relationship.

It turned out the advice he needed was because he was ‘scared he might go monogamous’ as his new partner is vaguely nonmonogamous but not into polyamory. I’m gonna make a sweeping statement and suggest it might be good to never ask one of your partners for advice on going monogamous with another partner, unless you are ending the relationship right then and there, and even then it’s callous at best.

I still gave the best advice I could, and left it there. Since then I’ve been unable to connect emotionally with S at all beyond a kind of tired irritation, and I feel like this may be the end of what had been quite a lovely romance. I’m just not interested in waiting around to see if a relationship gets terminated due to a third party. S understands both M and me in all the ways we constantly fight over, and has been wonderful in helping bridge those gaps with us, while I’ve provided emotional support and M has sparked creativity and music with him, but while M isn’t too bothered by this, I am. I’m also not sure I want to be in a relationship with someone who felt it was okay to put me in a position of extreme hurt and confusion and expecting me to provide all of his emotional support through it. I don’t like what people who behave like that inspire in me.

[paulichu]

I nearly died laughing when I pulled up in the drive thru and the dude straight up asked "Tall Unicorn?" 😂 no no, I'm short, but yes, thank you 🦄#polyamoryproblems #unicornproblems (at Starbucks Canada)

[iapetusneume]

Also, I get why occupancy rules exist and fire codes and all that jazz, but this isn’t helping a Triad out at all.

[sonicvanhedgegogh]

*Is polyamorous and likes more than one person*

*Too anxious to date anyone/get into something serious with anyone*

[annunakitty]

Rain is going for a trip to see family for a week and I’m gonna miss her hardcore.  Hopefully Amber will be ready for overtime snugs while she’s gone.  #polyamoryproblems

[kats-little-space]

Polyamory Problems

When your significant other has a girlfriend and no one will even give you the time of day....

[gothypolygirl]

Polyamory Problems

I get so much anxiety when trying to look for a new partner its hard when people don't understand what polyamory is 😧😧😧

[annunakitty]

I think I need another girlfriend I can chat with when my other two girlfriends are both sleeping.  :P