#Positive Reinforcement Parenting
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neha-pawar · 9 months ago
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How to Be a Good Teacher for Your Baby: Essential Tips for Early Childhood Development
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Have you wondered how, when you initially purchase new containers for spice storage, they all look and smell the same?
It is only after you start storing spices in them that you might notice that the containers start smelling differently with time.
Similar is the case with the babies. They are all born-ready containers, waiting to be filled from outside. The contents they are filled with shape their personalities for the future!
But who loads these adorable containers?
No, it’s not the school!
The loading indeed starts happening much more before that!
Why is early childhood development essential?
Children are known to be born with nearly around 100 billion brain neurons, ready to learn by forming neural connections.
Consider each neuron, like a building block, where every block needs to be attached to each other so as to form a stable structure.
This stable structure works like a foundational brain algorithm of the child, similar to AI, which keeps on updating with time, according to the given input.
Caution: It has a timer!
Yes! These neurons are highly active only during the child’s first three years. After this, their activity normalizes!
The Power of Interaction
Have you wondered what actually triggers these brain neural connections?
Well, the simplest answer is, kids’ environment!
It can be people, places, animals, or things around them!
Every time a child interacts with its environment, a neural connection is established in their brains.
With time, several stable neural connections form, with heightened environmental interactions.
Therefore, children’s activity with their environment is essential in their initial years.
This establishes their readiness for the development of further essential skills like cognitive, motor, social, language skills, etc.
So, parents, brace yourself as we delve into this guide of how to be a good teacher for your baby. Your part is the most important during their early stages of development.
Disclaimer: No certification required! Just loads of love, patience, and persistence to make your baby foundation-ready!
8 Effective ways to be a good teacher for your baby
It might sound surprising, but children do start learning a lot of things inside the womb!
There are various studies that show that the baby is able to differentiate between a male and a female voice and also identify their mom’s voice!
Also, did you know that a baby recognizes and reflects, according to its mother’s emotions?
The baby also sends repair tissues in case a mother tissue needs a repair!
So, in short, communication does get established, right from inside their little world!!!
Below is a list of many effective ways to enhance their learning further into the real world.
1. Creating a Stimulating Environment
Have you noticed that your peace of mind actually determines your work efficiency?
That is, the calmer you are, the better your mind will function.
Well, so do kids! After all! Aren’t they just little humans?
They seek out peace, comfort, and security in order to start learning. They receive this best from their caregivers.
Children establish neural connections when they see, touch, feel, and interact with their environment. Therefore, care must be taken that your home is baby safe, especially when your tiny tot starts to crawl!!
Also, ensure that all the edgy or pointy items are tossed aside or locked in a dungeon, for that matter!
This makes both you and the baby safe and stress-free for the clutter yet to begin!
Let your child crawl wild and encourage them to grasp, hold, throw, roll, or even toss the items present near them.
Sometimes, you might also  have to get into their mess and teach them how to do it!
Understand! They are empty containers with loading in progress!!
Disclaimer: Well now, you would also have to toss that OCD factor out of the window for some years! After all, it is for your child’s well-being!
Importance of exposing them to age-appropriate toys
Do we learn to make sentences right in junior kindergarten?
No, Right!
Similarly, exposing the kids to the age-appropriate toys is equally beneficial for their effortless and systematic learning process!
It is important to understand, as parents, that your child first needs to understand themselves and their environment in order to move towards more complex learning.
So, initially exposing your kids to different baby-safe items is like a warm-up exercise for their senses!
Rattles and soft toys are the most effective.
It is only after they start to crawl, sit, and hold their heads straight that they are ready to enter the learning battlefield!
Exposing them to teething toys, building blocks, push and pull toys, shape sorters, ride-ons, musical toys, balls, etc. will help them understand their functioning. This will happen gradually with their consistent plays and interactions with them.
Let them self-explore, but at times, also sit with them to play.
Directing, encouraging, and motivating them will always have a positive effect on their minds to continue learning
2. Fostering Communication Skills
Do you know, children start to communicate with their mother’s right from their existence in the womb?
Popularly known as “mood swings during pregnancy.”
Children initiate with non-verbal communication and slowly progress towards verbal communication with time.
Initially, it is very important as a caretaker to pay attention to their cues.
This will help you understand what they want and also provide them with a sense of security. This, in turn, will also encourage them to interact more for a healthy parent-child bonding.
Communication can be done in many ways, like interacting with them through gestures, facial expressions, responding to the baby cues, and also, through parentese!
Your active involvement in deciphering your kid’s emotions in their initial years will make them openly express their emotions with growing time!
3. Encouraging Physical Development
Do you know it takes at least 30 to 50 muscles in a human body to lift even a tiny object?
So, you do realize the background work towards a simple action!!
Therefore, it is very important for children to exercise their muscles by consistently trying to interact with an object in any way or form.
This ensures their muscle readiness for future actions!
Also, we all know that a healthy life is a sign of a healthy mind, and a healthy mind ensures a healthy body.
Hence, the importance of good physical health cannot be underestimated!
The kids have to be taught that through discipline and persistence.
During infancy, it is important that you allot tummy time for your children and let them play with themselves. This also aids a healthy metabolism and digestion.
It is also important that you let your child self-feed by analyzing the texture of the food when they learn to sit, to let them learn more skills!
You would not believe it, but simple activities like these help in developing various cognitive, motor, visual, and sensory skills in them.
So, kids do teach us that learning is fun after all!
4. Reading and Language Development
Have you noticed that a tiny baby will always recognize a mother’s voice, tone, and words, no matter how many minutes old?
This shows that the kids’ auditory skills development inside the womb helps them absorb the words being spoken from outside, especially by their mothers’.
Caution: Who knew, one also had to be mindful about our words around a pregnant woman too!
Babies understand their mother tongue the best because of their exposure to the same.
Therefore, it is very important for parents to inculcate a habit of reading to them, mimicking or having interactive storytelling sessions right from their childhood.
For example, if you are reading from a book of animal sounds, you can say, and the cow says, "Moooo." Now repeat it at least twice before moving further.
With consistency and passing time, you will notice that your kid will actually start responding and reflecting on your speech.
Once the kids are accustomed to regular episodes of reading sessions, you can have interactive story-telling sessions with them or ask them questions from the story to increase their memory.
You can also inculcate a sense of responsibility in them by asking them what they learnt from the story.
A simple reading habit, even for an hour, will enhance their language, imagination, creativity, vocabulary, auditory, and emotional skills.
Reading would also help them understand themselves and the world around them better!
5. Music and Movement for Learning
Have you witnessed how listening to good music appeases your soul?
Also, you always learn better while listening than by watching. This is because watching sometimes has the tendency to distract you from learning something important.
So, music not only soothes your senses but can also be a great method for learning. A win-win for both you and the baby! Isn’t it?
But how?
Ensure that your child’s auditory skills are at play, not only by singing simple rhymes to them but also through repetitive use of various alphabets, numbers, words, etc., even during your house chores.
For example, while cleaning the room, you can say, “I am picking up one, two, and three pillows from the floor.”
You need not be always involved. However, you can also play the rhymes during their playtime. This will also empower their multi-tasking skills, apart from imparting them with a good memory!
Also, did you know that listening to music also helps in the development of vocabulary, speech, imagination, creativity, communication, empathy, self-expression, and problem-solving abilities in children?
Wondering how?
Well, practice it yourself by repetitively listening to something and notice absorbing those words sub-consciously in your regular life!
Lullaby, again, a music also works like a panacea to make a baby fall asleep.
Speaking of lullabies, do listen to the world’s first lullaby for mother’s as a token of gratitude for your selfless care giving!
6. Nurturing emotional intelligence
The emotional quotient in humans is a lot more complex than we understand. It is linked to overall well-being.
Therefore, having healthy emotional regulation in kids is very important for their enhanced emotional intelligence!
What is emotional intelligence?
It refers to the ability for understanding and handling ours and others’ emotions. This plays a very important role in having healthy relationships.
Sometimes, have you noticed how venting out your emotions in front of your friend gives you peace?
Similar is the case with kids!
Do not underestimate their size because they too feel intense emotions. They just require someone to validate them for their enhanced self-awareness.
Hence, as parents, ensure to listen to them attentively and respond through reflective listening. For example, if they say, “I do not want to go to school," you can reply, “You do not want to go to school, but why?”
This will not only validate their emotions, but repeating their words would also make them secure that they can always come to you.
Engaging in interactive dialogues with your kid will surprise you with how much they have to say!!
Also, by doing so, you might not only be aware of their life but also establish a secure parent-child bond.
7. Consistency and Routine in Learning
We all have heard, “Consistency is what transforms an average into excellence!”
So, consistency should be diligently followed through timely routines, but balanced with flexibility, encouragement, and lots of claps for your little ones!
This will keep them motivated to keep learning.
Forcing your children to do something would always result in a negative response, thus creating a wall between you and them for further bonding.
Therefore, it is very important that you incorporate positive reinforcement parenting!
For example, if your child does his homework by himself, you can appreciate them by saying, “Wow! I am so proud of you for doing the homework by yourself.” This will not only make them satisfied and happy but will also enhance their confidence and self-esteem.
Also, be mindful about criticisms and be clear in your communication to show disappointment in their actions and not them.
For example, if your child has not cleaned up after playing, you can say, “I do not like that you keep your play area unclean.”
Once you start inculcating consistency and positive reinforcement in your parenting, you might start to notice that your children will make extra efforts to rectify their mistakes.
8. Embracing Everyday Learning Opportunities
This can start right from their birth by interacting with them about the environment.
For example, if your child is looking at the fan, you can say that it is the fan and it keeps us cool, or this is the food; this makes our tummy full!
Use parentese to grab the kid's attention!
Also, once you begin taking your kids outside, you can talk to them about how birds are chirping, people are walking, dogs are barking, etc.
Doing this will enhance their curiosity to learn more, thus making them, “Dora, the explorer” in their own quirky ways!
Always make sure to give the “why” to anything they ask you.
For example, if they ask, “What is thunder?” you can explain it but also ask them why it occurs. This will be like a little brain exercise for them!
Conclusion
Who knew training such tiny brains’ could require such intense positive reinforcement parenting!
Face-to-face interactions are always the best ways for your children to learn, rather than exposing them to random videos.
Ensure that your children’s screen time remains limited in their initial years of development and they spend their maximum time analyzing, watching, listening, talking, acting, feeling, and feeding themselves.
Make sure to be available for them, because they need you the most. They are as clueless as you become when you are given to operate a new technology!
So, have patience and let them create a mess.
After all, the messier their study time, the clearer their development will be!
This content is originally published on R For Rabbit' s Website: How to Be a Good Teacher for Your Baby: Essential Tips for Early Childhood Development
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jadetheblueartist · 1 year ago
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One of my teachers saw me drawing and working on my secret project (no I can’t elaborate. Soon… soon…), and when was like, “Oh, you drawing? Coloring?” And I was like “Yeah, both. It’s kinda for a comic I’m trying to make.” So she was like, “Oh, sweet. I wanna see that when you’re done.”
And now I’m like:
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Like it was probably just small talk or something and she probably wouldn’t get it bc it was a rottmnt au thing for Spider’s Web Widens, but I feel genuinely so touched right now.
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gilfhunter069 · 24 days ago
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🫩
I wrote a whole paragraphs worth of nonsense and deleted it right after.
Im an awful miserable person who needs to be in a ward
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marsixm · 1 month ago
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the nice thing, on the flip side, is when the kid does get to help and i hand them bags and say "good job!" they get SO excited to keep helping! 99% of the time they immediately get a burst of energy and are clamoring to grab another bag! i'm a total stranger & not even giving them any reward other than telling them they did a good job and they're desperate for it!!!
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marc--chilton · 1 year ago
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(mgv) it started as a joke but now if they're alone house will call chase 'wombat' as a nickname in affection rather than teasing
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nabilarteducatedkids · 9 months ago
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Fun & Effective Toddler Reward Charts
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the perfect tool to motivate your child’s progress in a positive and engaging way! These thoughtfully designed reward charts are crafted to inspire toddlers to achieve milestones, from learning new skills to developing positive behaviors. With vibrant colors, playful illustrations, and easy-to-follow layouts, these charts make daily tasks fun and rewarding for little ones.
Whether you're working on potty training, good manners, or simple chores, our reward charts help build self-confidence and independence. Each chart allows you to set achievable goals and track your child's progress with star stickers or checkmarks. As toddlers see their achievements growing, they are encouraged to keep up the good work, reinforcing positive habits and instilling a sense of pride.
Our reward charts are designed with both parents and children in mind, offering customizable sections where you can adapt tasks to fit your child’s unique needs. The visual appeal keeps toddlers engaged while the structure promotes consistent improvement. By celebrating each small success, these charts transform everyday routines into opportunities for learning and development, creating a stress-free and joyful atmosphere in your home.
Start motivating your toddler today with our Fun & Effective Toddler Reward Charts! Turn everyday tasks into exciting achievements and watch your child thrive with positive reinforcement.
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asteraceae-blue · 1 year ago
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It can be a little annoying to never have any privacy when you have little kids, but there is something to be said for a one and a half year old clapping and cheering "Yay mama!" after you use the bathroom, like, yes child, thank you, I did accomplish a small task of personal care today
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cherryblossomshadow · 7 months ago
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[Image ID: screenshot of tumblr tags that read:
#file under reasons I don't reblog activism posts with guilt trips attached
/end ID]
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#I didn't want to come back to this #but this is actually really important and so far this is the only person that's said it #This is why it is SO important to THANK a child after they do what theu are told #especially when it was a fight #It's a way to say “I'm not mad anymore. This conflict is over now that you did what I asked. You had the ability to end this at anytime.” #Get that Christian idea of external punishment out of your head!!!#It is never your job to be hell (tags courtesy of OP)
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More notes under the cut:
@enonem
If you shame someone about a behaviour, they will associate it with a negative emotion and thus instinctively want to stay away.
So when you try to shame someone into doing something, they will feel shame every time they start doing it, or even think about doing it, feel bad and stop at the first occasion.
If you want someone to do something, associate it with a positive emotion. So they will feel good about doing it.
So yeah, the corollary for this is indeed praising bare minimum behaviour when it marks an improvement.
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@purplesaline
And honestly given that science has proven positive reinforcement is a far more effective tool for behaviour modification, if you want someone to stop doing a behaviour a better method than guilt or shame would be by positively reinforcing an incompatible behaviour.
In dog training it's called Differential Reinforcement of Incompatible Behaviours and it looks like this: Dog jumps up on people when excited? Positively reinforce lying down when people come visit. The dog can't jump up if they're lying down. Dog barks when they see a squirrel? Positively reinforce getting and holding a toy when they see a squirrel. (It won't necessarily completely negate the barking but it will drastically lower the volume of it. Basically making your dog gag itself lol)
In people it works the same way. Want the kids to stop playing video games inside all day? Positively reinforce going for a walk (give them some cash to go get a slushie or ice cream) or set up a water fight in the back and invite their friends over. The more you positively reinforce behaviours incompatible with staying inside playing video games the more they'll start choosing to go outside on their own instead.
The key is that whatever you use to positively reinforce them has to be more rewarding to them than the behaviour they're currently engaging in, and you don't decide what is more rewarding, they do.
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@tacktrunkstudies-deactivated202
Four Quadrants of Classical Conditioning are positive reinforcement, positive punishment, negative reinforcement, negative punishment. These aren't related to good or bad so much as adding or subtracting a motivating stimulus. When training *new* behaviors to *start* the most effective is positive reinforcement, when trying to reduce or stop existing behaviors positive punishment is the most effective. If you want to inspire change and start someone giving a fuck, you want to use *positive reinforcement* *NOT* POSITIVE punishment. People really are as simple as dogs.
@demons-pubis
My ex, to get me to stop biting my nails, would tell me how ugly they looked, slap my hand away from my mouth, etc. I never stopped.
My current boyfriend simply told me he'd get me a manicure if I stopped. And then I did. 😭
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@technicolor-swarm-of-bees
to add some nuance, though, guilt can be useful but shame never is.
guilt is about a specific thing you did. ('I cheated on a test and I feel guilty about it")
shame is about yourself regardless of your actions ("I'm a worthless dumb person who has to cheat to pass a test")
guilt is situational and can demotivate you from repeating an undesirable action. shame is ongoing and doesn't generally work to prevent any specific behaviours because it isn't about the behaviours—it's about your identity.
this difference is really important to understand especially in queer and disabled circles because many of us live in the shadow of a a built up mountain of shame, accumulated failures and guilt and insults and missed expectations and judgmental things people have said to us. many of us have spent our lives feeling that we simply are not as good as other people, that there's something fundamentally flawed or undesirable about us. the classic example is many people with adhd have had it pounded into them that they're lazy. when we miss a deadline, we might feel guilt over that deadline, but the overwhelming feeling is shame: I once more missed a deadline because I'm a lazy person who never completes things on time.
it's really, really important to recognise shame vs guilt so you can combat the shame and replace it with true and more realistic beliefs about yourself.
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@cherishedproperty
The other thing that can happen is, if you shame someone enough, they start to see the bad thing as part of their identity—not something they do, but something they are. And this can also backfire horrifically.
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@doomhamster
It says something painful about the standards of parenting/teaching in Western society that so many of us haven't been exposed to any other method of modifying behavior.
It says something fucking terrifying about the FUTURE standards of parenting/teaching that so many, even people who consider themselves progressive, are desperate to find a Good Way to be the ones doing the shaming, rather than being willing to even consider encouragement as a way of modifying others' behavior.
#social justice done badly
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@lyndentree63
This makes so much sense of evangelicalism.
Something I wish people understood about evangelical Christians, as someone who comes from those circles, is just how unequipped people are to actually do things. There's so much focus on not doing things, people have no idea how to positively motivate themselves or others. The only behaviour-management tool they have familiarity with is demotivating. And that's heartbreaking.
People just don't know better. They don't have better tools. They're trying desperately to build things, but all they have is a sledgehammer. And that hurts everyone.
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@doctor-fluffy
And in my experience, a person that’s only been shamed into not doing bad things…
it’s HARD to truly care about other people when you’re ruled by shame..
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@selkies-world
Hey, look, it's my logic for how to get people to stop consuming fast fashion!!!! Neat
(You can't shame someone into doing something good, but you can shame them out of something bad & offer them an alternative for them to turn to, then praise them for making the change & pointing out how much better this new option is for them. You can also shame corporations into changing their ways when you take away their profit margin & ask how it feels to not have it anymore - and they'll change their ways in order to get the profit back, or they'll get boycotted & go out of business. BRB, I'm clicker-training people & industries.)
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@sustainpedal
Also, shame works when it makes the person think "1) I'm doing something different from everyone else 2) I want to change my habit/lifestyle, and 3) I know how to change." If one of those three pieces is missing and you keep piling on shame, the person won't change; they'll get bogged down or bitter, withdraw from people they perceive as "better" or "normal", and develop a belief that they are incapable of change.
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@assortedinsanities
Thought about this post yesterday and realized another limitation of the use of shame.
While swearing can be a case where guilt/shame works, it's not a universal tool to make someone stop a behavior.
If the behavior serves a needed purpose, shame will either not stop it, or make the person seek out a different behavior to substitute.
I was specifically thinking about substance abuse when this occured to me, but it can really be anything.
Maybe the kid swears in class, because it gives them a good standing with other students and that is the only way they know how to connect with others. Maybe them swearing serves to give them a tough persona so bullies think twice about going after them. Maybe they are extremely stressed about some aspect of school and this is the only outlet they have for the aggression it builds up.
Basically, while shame can stop a behavior, if you happen to shame someone for some sort of coping mechanism that will backfire. Because if you want someone to stop a problematic coping behavior, you need to motivate them to find a helpfull alternative and that will not be accomplished by shaming them.
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@jukashi
I would add an important note: social negative reinforcement, like shaming tactics, only work if the person you're using them on actually cares about what you think of them.
If they don't care about what you think, attempts to shame them will just make them hostile, and less likely to listen to you. It's very likely to just make them double down on whatever you're trying to shame them about. Example: Me still having long hair despite being bothered about it for most of my adolescence. I don't even actually like having long hair that much! There's just a 'fuck those guys' response still baked into my brain somewhere that makes me not want to cut it, because it'd be like agreeing with them, even decades later.
Important note to the important note: Do not mistake shame not working on someone as them not caring about you. They could just think you're incorrect to shame them - which, you must remember, is always a possibility. Anyone can be wrong about something. The tumblr demographic should be familiar with the idea of being shamed about things by people they care about, and still refusing to change those things.
Important note three, revengeance: If someone does care about you, you'd better make sure you're right before you do any shaming tactics, because shaming someone who cares what you think for no good reason is something that's pretty shameworthy itself.
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@strive-to-be-human
Do not punish behavior you wish to see!
If someone is going to make meaningful steps toward desirable behavior, you have to reward any motion in that direction. You have to help people figure out what is blocking them from doing the desirable behavior, help them find tools or strategies to get around those blocks, and then celebrate attempts to do the thing you want.
If you're thinking to yourself, "Sure, that works on toddlers, but adults should know better," come and sit by me. Would you like a cup of coffee?
I want you to think of a time at work when you made a mistake. Maybe you didn't know better. Maybe you did but you fumbled the task inadvertently. Maybe you knew better and you didn't care. Maybe you thought the established procedure is stupid so you didn't do it on purpose. It's your memory; anything can be true.
Let's imagine - whether or not this is how your specific memory plays out - that your boss pulled you aside and yelled at you for five whole minutes about how horrible (and horribly incompetent!) you are. No questions about how you arrived at the decision process you did... (except maybe the rhetorical, disingenuous, "What were you thinking?!") Just a dressing down. Perhaps even a formal writeup that goes on your employee record.
In this memory you have (or the imaginary scenario), how enthusiastic are you about finding the RIGHT way to do things? Are you feeling uplifted, capable and motivated? Or are you feeling demoralized, embarrassed and paralyzed?
Take that memory of a time when you made a workplace error and rewrite it with me. (How's your coffee? Need a warm-up?) Let's imagine, instead, that your boss pulls you aside and says something like "Hey, I noticed the last time X happened during opening, Y and Z weren't completed. Normally you're pretty great about Y and Z. What's going on?" or "Thank you so much for getting me that report on Company B. Could you also get me an addendum that includes [the thing you forgot to include in the first place]?" or "I've noticed that you're consistently doing [this task] in a [specifically wrong] way. We need it done [the correct way] for [reasons]. What can I do to help make sure [task] is [done correctly] going forward?"
Check in with your body. How does this boss conversation feel? You probably still feel threatened and embarrassed - especially if you live in the US, like me - because we are so primed to hear derision, censure and punishment every time our boss talks to us! But this new boss thinks we're great! They just need us to do a little better. They WANT us to succeed!
Even adults want kindness and compassion. Reward desirable behavior. Do not punish behaviors you wish to see.
If you do 9 things out of 10 correctly and your boss shouts at you over one (1) thing, your brain is not going to go "Cool! I did 90% of these tasks correctly!" It's going to go "Task 10 is the only important one" - which it will find out is not true when it forgets Task 8 - and eventually slides into "I can never be good enough to escape a lecture, so I'm just not even gonna try. Boss gets what I feel like giving and if they don't like my Minimum Effort they can fire me."
Wouldn't it be better if we spoke to each other on good faith, believing that others really are trying their best? I know what world I would rather live in. You can live here, too, if you want. Coffee's always hot. Come back any time.
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@butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway
The idea that you can shame someone out of being a bad person or that shame can reliably be used to dissuede behavior you want someone to stop is so deeply and fundamentally a misunderstanding of what the research tells us.
Shame is NOT in fact a demotivator in the sense of encouraging behavior cessation. Rather it is a demotivator in that it alienates people from the behavior's form and function. If someone *experiences the feeling of shame upon having it drawn to their attention that something they have done or said may not be in line with their values or goals, it is TECHNICALLY possible (tho not as likely as one might hope) for that person to take a functional and non-judgemental approach to changing or addressing the behavior that led up to that feeling. HOWEVER if you *inflict* shame on someone ON PURPOSE to try and get them to stop doing a thing, research tells us that all this will result in is their becoming more adept at hiding that behavior from you and (possibly, depending on where the shame is reinforced) others.
So like. I get that this post thinks it's discouraging "harmful" shaming, but I need to emphasize that it is doing so by saying that "shame is functional" is the same thing, in a clinical connotation, as "shame can be used against others to change behavior IF YOU USE IT RIGHT" and it just....it isn't the same. At all. YOU cannot inflict shame on another person, they have to experience shame as a synthesis of their own recontextualization. What we inflict on each other via "shaming" is not, in fact, shame. It is FEAR. And wielding fear as a motivator for change actually has remarkably reliably *horrific* outcomes.
It is fascinating to me how intensely so many of us cling to the validity of inflicting pain, alienation, and fear on others if only they can do it in the right way for the right reasons when EVERYTHING that we know says that very framework is what makes it so dangerous and harmful to the people around us. Why do even the conversations "discouraging" shame include gestures to the idea that of course it works sometimes!
Please be skeptical of anything that suggests you can induce a negative feeling in someone who is not you on purpose and reliably receive an outcome other than "this person now treats me as unsafe to be vulnerable with". Change requires care, functional reflection of role, and support/compassion from the people around you during the transition. At no point does that include another person TRYING to induce shame, I assure you.
#i want to be gentle in this i really do#in part BECAUSE i know what i know about change and shame#but it is REALLY hard to watch people say something this blatantly misaligned with actual clinical research as if it is the informed belief#it is not#the informed belief is that external-origin internalized shame is ALWAYS bad and harmful#and internal-origin internalized shame CAN BE AND OFTEN IS but may sometimes act as a change impulse if the person is able to#process those emotions in a healthy environment#and anyone presenting otherwise to you has either deeply misunderstood the research#or is selling you a loophole via 'some people i mean behaviors DESERVE to be shamed'
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@partypuppy-nastja
I wrote about this at work a little bit ago, citing some studies for it along the way, for that about negative motivation vs positive motivation:
Not that anybody asked, but I think it's important to understand how shame and guilt actually work before you try to use it for good.
It's a necessary emotion. There are reasons we have it. It makes everything so. much. worse. when you use it wrong.
Shame and guilt are DE-motivators. They are meant to stop behavior, not promote it. You cannot, ever, in any meaningful way, guilt someone into doing good. You can only shame them into not doing bad.
Let's say you're a parent and your kid is having issues.
Swearing in class? Shame could work. You want them to stop it. Keep it in proportion*, and it might help. *(KEEP IT IN PROPORTION!!!)
Not doing their homework? NO! STOP! NO NOT DO THAT! EVER! EVER! EVER! You want them to start to do their homework. Shaming them will have to opposite effect! You have demotivated them! They will double down on NOT doing it. Not because they are being oppositional, but because that's what shame does!
You can't guilt people into building better habits, being more successful, or getting more involved. That requires encouragement. You need to motivate for that stuff!
If you want it in a simple phrase:
You can shame someone out of being a bad person, but you can't shame them into being a good person.
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neha-pawar · 10 months ago
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Parent-Child Bonding: How to Be a Good Teacher for Your Baby
Your baby's first educator: You! Learn How to Be a Good Teacher for Your Baby and deepen Parent-child bonding through engaging activities.
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pawsnpup · 1 month ago
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The Ultimate Guide to Cat Training.
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Introduction to Cat Training
Training your cat might sound like a mission impossible, but trust me, it's not. You don't need magic—just patience, consistency, and the right techniques. Whether you’re tired of your feline scratching the furniture or dreaming of teaching them cool tricks, this guide has you covered.
Why Train a Cat?
You train dogs, right? So why not cats? Contrary to popular belief, cats are highly trainable. Training strengthens the bond between you and your pet, reduces behavioral problems, and makes life easier (and cleaner).
Common Misconceptions About Cat Training
People often say, “You can’t train a cat.” Well, guess what? That’s just a myth. Cats aren't stubborn—they’re independent thinkers. The trick is figuring out what motivates them.
Understanding Your Cat’s Behavior
Feline Psychology Basics
Before jumping into cat training, take a minute to understand how your cat thinks. Cats are driven by curiosity and rewards. They’re territorial and creatures of habit. If you get this, you’re already halfway there.
Reading Your Cat’s Body Language
Tail flicking, ear twitching, slow blinking—it all means something. Learning to read your cat’s signals helps you communicate better and train more effectively.
Getting Started with Cat Training
What You Need Before You Begin
You'll need:
Treats (small, soft, and smelly work best)
A clicker (optional but helpful)
A quiet space
Patience (lots of it)
If you’re looking for step-by-step beginner strategies, these simple cat training tips every owner can use can give you a great head start alongside this guide.
Choosing the Right Time and Place
Train when your cat is alert but not overexcited—after a nap or before dinner is ideal. Keep sessions short (5–10 minutes) and distraction-free.
Basic Cat Training Techniques
Using Positive Reinforcement
Cats respond best to rewards. When your kitty does something right, give them a treat or a cuddle. No yelling, no punishment—it just doesn’t work. Check out this helpful breakdown of simple training techniques that really work.
Clicker Training for Cats
Clicker training uses a small sound (the click) to mark the exact moment your cat performs the desired behavior. Pair the click with a treat, and you’ve got a powerful training combo.
Treats and Rewards – What Works Best?
Every cat is different. Some love tuna, others go nuts for freeze-dried chicken. Test a few options and find what makes your cat purr with excitement.
Training Your Cat to Use the Litter Box
Litter Box Placement
Privacy is key. Place the box in a quiet, accessible area. Avoid busy spots or noisy appliances.
Dealing with Accidents
Don’t punish your cat. Clean the area with an enzyme cleaner and try to understand why the accident happened—dirty litter, stress, or health issues could be the cause.
Teaching Your Cat to Come When Called
Step-by-Step Training
Say your cat’s name in a cheerful tone.
Immediately offer a treat when they look at or approach you.
Repeat regularly in short sessions.
Making Recall Fun and Effective
Use treats, toys, or even mealtime to make coming to you the best part of their day.
Training Your Cat to Stay Off Counters
Deterrents and Alternatives
Use aluminum foil or double-sided tape on countertops. Meanwhile, provide alternatives like a cat tree or window perch.
Reinforcing the Right Behavior
Reward your cat when they choose their own space over the forbidden one. Positive attention works wonders.
Leash Training Your Cat
Choosing a Harness
Get a snug, escape-proof harness. Try it on indoors before taking your cat outside.
Getting Comfortable with Outdoor Walks
Start with short, supervised trips in the backyard. Let your cat lead. Never force it—they’ll come around if you’re patient.
Training Cats Not to Scratch Furniture
Providing Alternatives
Scratching posts, cardboard pads, or sisal-covered poles are great alternatives. Place them near areas your cat likes to scratch.
Redirecting Unwanted Scratching
If you catch your cat scratching the couch, gently redirect them to the post and reward them when they use it.
Socializing Your Cat
Introducing Cats to New People
Give your cat space and let them approach new people on their terms. Use treats to build trust.
Multi-Cat Household Tips
Have enough resources—litter boxes, food bowls, beds—for each cat. Introduce them slowly using scent swaps and short meetings.
Advanced Tricks and Fun Training Ideas
High-Five and Sit Commands
Use treats and a clicker. Gently guide your cat’s paw into a high-five position or lure them into a sit using a treat. Click and reward.
Playing Fetch with Your Cat
Some cats naturally fetch! Start with a favorite toy, toss it, and reward them when they bring it back.
Common Cat Training Mistakes to Avoid
Punishment vs. Positive Discipline
Never yell or hit your cat. It breaks trust and doesn’t teach anything useful. Redirect and reward instead.
Consistency is Key
Cats thrive on routine. Train regularly, use the same cues, and be patient.
Training Senior Cats vs. Kittens
Challenges and Benefits by Age
Kittens are curious and energetic—great for learning. Seniors may take longer, but can still learn with the right motivation.
Training kittens is like teaching toddlers—they're curious, fast learners, and always full of energy. Senior cats, on the other hand, may take more time but are just as capable. With the right methods and lots of patience, both young and old felines can benefit from structured training. If you’re unsure how to begin with an older cat, this article offers beginner-friendly advice that applies across all age groups.
Patience and Adaptation
Go at your cat’s pace. Some days they’ll be stars, other days not so much. That’s okay—keep it fun.
Tools and Resources for Cat Training
Recommended Books and Apps
The Trainable Cat by John Bradshaw
Apps like “Cat Training Tips” for daily reminders and guidance
Toys That Encourage Training
Interactive toys, feather wands, and food puzzles are not just fun—they build skills and reduce boredom.
Conclusion
Cat training isn’t just possible—it’s rewarding, fun, and makes for a happier household. The key? Think like a cat. Use what they love to guide them toward better behavior, one purr at a time. With patience, consistency, and a little humor, you and your feline can learn together. Ready to start training? Go grab those treats and let’s go!
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rfnoch · 1 year ago
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hey man quick note i would like to mention that babies typically find it easier to make sounds with lips first (like "ma" and "pa") instead of more complicated sounds with their tongue and lips (like "da") it would have been more likely for the baby's first word to be "mama"
if you still wanted the baby to say gojo's parental title first it would have made more sense for it to say "papa" this. On top of this is gojo really wanted the the baby to say his title first he should have looked directly into the baby's eyes and repeatedly say "papapapapapa" as babies respond better to eye contact and repeated sounds
completely ruined my suspension of disbelief 0/5 stars
SAY "DADA" 𓆝 ⋆。𖦹°‧
ִ ࣪𖤐 featuring. gojo satoru, toji fushiguro, nanami kento x fem! reader
ִ ࣪𖤐 warnings. toji cries but he doesn't admit it bye
note. i just spent a good hour watching the "glimpse of us" parents-baby trend, it's so cute. i just had to make something family themed for the jjk men :( i'm so sorry for the lack of updates, i just finished work and boy— it was stressful.
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𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔
"come on, little guy . . . say dada, da . . . da!" gojo nodded his head slowly, in his grasp stood his one year old son.
all he got in return was a loud strained laugh from the little boy, "it's okay, baby. take it slow, come on, dada . . . da . . ." the blue eyed male softly spells out the word.
"satoru, you've been trying for an hour now." you informed him, eyeing the father-son duo every now and then, "he's going to get it eventually . . ."
gojo chuckled, "i know, baby. 'm just so excited, what if he said his first words when 'm out on a mission," a sad smile etched onto his lips as he cradled the baby in his hold.
"dada!"
it took gojo a few seconds to process what his son just uttered in excitement. slowly, the corner of his lips tugged upwards in happiness — gojo cheers loudly, nuzzling his face into your son's little belly, making him craze out in pure euphoria.
"you just said your first word, good job, buddy! 'm so proud of you," gojo muffled out into the baby's tummy, "daddy's so proud of you."
gojo then faced you, "his first word is dada, i'm going to cry . . ."
to which he did, sniffling loudly — making the little boy imitate him, scrunching his face into a big frown before wailing out a loud cry. hearing your baby cry, gojo softly hushed him, patting his back, "no, no, baby. daddy's crying of happiness, not sadness, please don't cry."
"aren't you two just the cutest?" you asked, kissing the baby on his chubby cheek — calming him down almost immediately. his loud cries ceasing down under your touch.
"we are." gojo chuckled, nose raging red from sniffling mucus.
"please get rid of your snot, satoru . . ."
𝐓𝐎𝐉𝐈 𝐅𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐎
"come on, dada. say it." toji mutters, pulling on megumi's little cheek — gently, and the baby seemingly annoyed, swats off his father's giant fingers.
toji scoffed, "huh, wonder where y' got that attitude from."
you eyed him, "what do you mean? megumi's exactly just like you — i carry him for nine months and he ends up being a copy of you," you chuckled, ruffling megumi's hair.
the young ten month old baby crawled his way over to you, settling himself on his lap, eyeing his father sharply, "what're y'looking at, huh?"
instinctively you hit toji's bicep gently, "stop that."
"'m not doing anything . . ." toji replies back, rolling his eyes before crossing his arms, "stupid baby."
"dada!" megumi shrieks out, pointing his small finger accusingly at toji, a cute glare looming over his dark eyes, "dada!"
toji blinked once. twice. thrice, and he ended up scoffing, looking away from both you and megumi, "he said his first word, and it's me," toji mutters into his skin, clamping his palm over his lips as his elbow propped down onto the couch's hand rest.
"good job, 'gumi!" you cheered, raising the boy up in the air, kissing his cheek which made the baby erupt in small laughter.
megumi crunched his legs happily, yelling out gibberish with a mix of "dada dada!"
"that's right, dada!" you parrot happily, gently hopping with megumi in your arms. eyeing toji who had been silent, "toji, are you okay?"
he grunted, brushing his face with his hands, "do i not look okay?"
"did you cry?" you ask.
toji grunted yet again in disdain, "why would i cry because the brat said his first word?" he did.
𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈 𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐎
nanami sat on the floor cross-legged with his eleven month old daughter on his lap as he scanned the newspaper. at every page, his daughter didn't miss every spot on the dull colored paper, pointing at the paper and muttering out incoherent words.
"mhm, that's terrible news, isn't it?" he replies, sipping on his coffee mug.
you emerged from behind the bedroom door, hair disheveled, "good morning," you mumble out, wiping the back of your finger over your eyes.
"dada!"
you froze and eyed your daughter, and nanami did too. his head looked down onto the young girl in amusement, his gaze softening, "your first word . . ." he whispers, carrying the baby into his strong arms.
"you just said your first word, baby!" your raspy morning voice chirped, it was as if your exhaustion had disappeared in a heap of moments and you trotted down the ground, approaching the father-daughter.
"i'm so proud of you," nanami gently placed a kiss on top of his daughter's head, cradling her small body.
you were pulled into a hug by nanami, his arm wrapped around your shoulder and he pulled you to his side — his cheek leaning on your head in content, "good morning."
"dada dada!" your daughter cheered happily, patting nanami's face with her small hands.
"mhm, i'm dada, baby." he mumbles, letting the young girl do as she likes. you cooed softly at the sight, wrapping an arm around his waist.
a good morning it is.
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© CHURIPU 2024 , DO NOT COPY OR REPOST ANYWHERE
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rbtpracticeexamus · 2 months ago
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Want to turn good behavior into real, lasting habits? This 6-step token economy system is your go-to strategy for positive reinforcement whether you're in the classroom, parenting at home, or working in therapy.
Visual, consistent, and seriously effective.
✨ Reblog to save & share the behavior-boosting magic! #TokenEconomy #BehaviorSupport #PositiveReinforcement #ParentingTips #ClassroomTools #TherapistResources #MotivationSystem
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ittybittyave · 2 months ago
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Thanks to a few tricks I’ve picked up over the years, my daughter's doctor appointment today was a breeze. In fact, we made it through with zero tears and even a smile. Check out my latest post for tips to make your child's next visit to the doctor way easier! #ParentingHacks #MomLifeUnfiltered #RealMomMoments #IttyBitty4Life
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norabdi · 3 months ago
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jeezypetes · 3 months ago
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Kind of wish i was a thin white woman in her 20s who writes stuff about how love is like walking past your childhood home and feeling a tug in your heart that can never be satisfied and constantly has followers telling her how good her writing is and also how pretty she is and how much they love her outfits and hair
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chalangeyourchild · 3 months ago
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5 Discipline Tips Every Parent Should Know
Discipline is one of the most important—and sometimes most challenging—aspects of parenting. It’s not about punishment but about guiding children to understand right from wrong, helping them develop self-control, and encouraging them to make positive choices. Every child is different, and discipline strategies may vary, but some universal principles can help every parent lay a strong foundation. Here are five essential discipline tips every parent should know.
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1. Be Consistent
Consistency is key when it comes to discipline. Children feel more secure when they know what to expect. If a certain behavior is not acceptable one day but tolerated the next, it sends mixed messages and can confuse your child.
Set clear rules and stick to them. Make sure all caregivers—parents, grandparents, babysitters—are on the same page to avoid contradictions. When children know that boundaries are consistent, they’re more likely to respect them and understand the consequences of their actions.
2. Use Positive Reinforcement
Discipline isn’t just about correcting bad behavior—it’s also about encouraging good behavior. Positive reinforcement, such as praise, encouragement, or rewards, can be a powerful tool. When your child behaves well, acknowledge it. A simple “Great job sharing your toys!” can go a long way.
Children tend to repeat behaviors that get them attention. So, try to catch them doing something right and let them know you notice. This builds their confidence and motivates them to continue making good choices.
3. Set Clear Expectations and Consequences
Children are more likely to follow rules when they understand them. Be clear and age-appropriate when explaining your expectations. Instead of saying, “Be good,” try specific instructions like, “Please use your indoor voice at the table.”
Likewise, consequences should be logical and directly related to the behavior. For example, if your child refuses to clean up their toys, a fair consequence might be not being allowed to play with those toys for a while. Make sure consequences are consistent and carried out calmly, without yelling or anger.
4. Stay Calm and In Control
When your child misbehaves, it’s natural to feel frustrated—but reacting with anger often escalates the situation. Kids look to parents for cues on how to manage emotions, so staying calm helps them learn to regulate their own feelings.
If you feel overwhelmed, it’s okay to take a moment to breathe before responding. Speak in a firm but gentle tone. Remember, the goal is to teach, not to scare or shame. Your calm demeanor sets the tone for how serious the situation is and helps your child focus on what they need to learn.
5. Lead by Example
Children learn more from what you do than from what you say. If you want your child to be respectful, kind, and responsible, model those behaviors yourself. Show respect in your interactions, handle conflicts with patience, and own up to your mistakes when necessary.
When you demonstrate the behavior you expect, you give your child a clear, real-life example to follow. This helps discipline become less about rules and more about values and integrity.
Final Thoughts
Discipline is a long-term investment in your child’s character and emotional development. It requires patience, consistency, and love. By being clear, positive, and calm, and by leading through example, you can help your child develop into a responsible and thoughtful individual. Remember, no parent is perfect, and every child is unique. What matters most is the love, guidance, and support you give them along the way.
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