#SIP Protocol
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Examine the role of real-time data processing in boosting detection accuracy, emphasizing the benefits of utilizing streaming data technologies to provide timely and actionable insights for decision-making to improve data observability for better business insights. Learn More...
#cloud technology#hotel hospitality#hotel pbx#unified communications#hotel phone system#phonesuite pbx#ip telephony#detection accuracy#VoIP Protocol#Hotel Industry#hotel phone installation#SIP Protocol#Call Booking#Hotel Technology#VoIP#voip technology
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The hospitality industry is experiencing far-reaching changes so that they can deliver top-notch service in a competitive landscape of rivals. This new environment affects hotels, from pricing strategy to customer experience features. Read More...
#business phones#voip technology#pbx system#hotel phone system#phonesuite direct#voip phone#hotel hospitality#phonesuite dealers#voip advantages#pbx communications#VoIP Protocol#SIP Protocol#Call Booking#Hotel Technology#Communications#Cloud technology#Desk phones#Business phone#Business voip
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What Features Are Offered by Leading SIP Trunk Providers?

When it comes to business communication, having a reliable and efficient system in place is crucial. That's where SIP trunk providers come in. They offer a range of features that can enhance your communication infrastructure and take it to the next level. From VoIP integration and call routing to PSTN connectivity, leading SIP trunk providers have it all.
Imagine seamlessly integrating your VoIP system with your existing infrastructure. With SIP trunking, this becomes a reality. Leading providers offer robust VoIP integration capabilities, allowing you to streamline your communication channels and improve overall business efficiency. Whether you need unified communications or advanced call features, SIP trunk providers have the tools to make it happen.
PSTN connectivity plays a vital role in ensuring reliable communication between SIP trunks and traditional phone systems. With leading SIP trunk providers, you can count on robust PSTN connectivity that enables crystal-clear voice quality and uninterrupted communication. Their SIP gateways act as a bridge between the digital and analog worlds, ensuring seamless connectivity and eliminating any potential disruptions.
Efficient call routing is another feature offered by leading SIP trunk providers. They leverage advanced technologies to optimize call routing, saving you costs and improving the overall call experience. Intelligent call routing directs calls to the most appropriate endpoints, ensuring that they reach the right destination quickly and efficiently.
But it doesn't stop there. Leading SIP trunk providers also offer wholesale voice solutions for enterprise needs. Whether you require scalable and flexible communication options or comprehensive disaster recovery solutions, these providers have you covered. They understand the unique requirements of businesses and provide tailored solutions to meet those needs.
When selecting a SIP trunk provider, factors such as quality of service, security features, and service level agreements should also be considered. Leading providers prioritize these aspects, ensuring that you receive a reliable, secure, and high-quality communication experience.

In this article, we will delve deeper into the features offered by leading SIP trunk providers, explore real-world case studies, and provide you with a comprehensive guide on selecting the right provider for your business. Stay tuned to discover how partnering with a leading SIP trunk provider can revolutionize your business communication.
Understanding SIP Trunking Services
SIP trunking services, offered by reputable SIP Trunk Providers, have become a vital component of modern communication systems. Using the session initiation protocol (SIP), businesses can connect their private branch exchange (PBX) systems to the public switched telephone network (PSTN) through an internet connection.
With SIP trunking, traditional phone lines are replaced with virtual connections, allowing businesses to make and receive calls over the internet. This eliminates the need for separate physical phone lines and enables cost-effective and efficient communication.
One of the key benefits of SIP trunking is its flexibility. Unlike traditional phone systems, which have a fixed number of lines, SIP trunks can be easily scaled up or down to accommodate the changing needs of businesses. This scalability allows for better resource allocation and cost savings.
SIP trunking also offers improved call quality and reliability. By leveraging the internet for voice transmission, businesses can enjoy high-definition audio and clearer conversations. Moreover, SIP trunk providers often include robust redundancy and disaster recovery solutions, ensuring uninterrupted communication even during unforeseen events.
Another advantage of SIP trunking is its ability to enable PSTN connectivity. Businesses can connect their SIP trunks to traditional phone systems, allowing them to make and receive calls using existing hardware. This integration helps organizations leverage their existing infrastructure while enjoying the benefits of SIP trunking.
Overall, by adopting SIP trunking services from reputable providers, businesses can streamline their communication systems, reduce costs, and enhance their overall productivity. The next section will explore the integration of VoIP systems with SIP trunking, highlighting the benefits of this unified approach.
VoIP Integration for Enhanced Communication
SIP trunk providers play a crucial role in enabling seamless integration with VoIP systems, enhancing communication capabilities for businesses. By embracing VoIP integration, companies can leverage the power of unified communications to streamline their operations and improve overall efficiency.
Unified communications refers to the integration of various communication tools and platforms into a centralized system. This allows employees to access a wide range of communication channels, such as voice calls, video conferencing, instant messaging, and email, all from a single interface. With VoIP integration facilitated by SIP trunk providers, companies can achieve a higher level of collaboration and productivity.
Through the integration of VoIP systems, businesses can experience several benefits. Firstly, VoIP enables cost-effective communication by utilizing the internet for voice calls rather than traditional phone lines. This eliminates the need for separate phone systems, resulting in significant cost savings for businesses.
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Additionally, VoIP integration allows for greater flexibility and scalability. SIP trunk providers offer businesses the ability to add or remove VoIP channels as needed, accommodating fluctuations in communication requirements. This scalability ensures that businesses can easily adapt to changing needs without incurring unnecessary costs.
Benefits of VoIP Integration:
Cost-effective communication through the use of internet telephony
Improved collaboration and productivity with unified communications
Flexibility and scalability to meet changing communication needs
Enhanced mobility and remote accessibility
Seamless integration with existing communication systems
In summary, VoIP integration facilitated by SIP trunk providers empowers businesses with efficient and unified communication solutions. By leveraging the benefits of VoIP systems, companies can optimize their communication workflows, enhance collaboration, and achieve a competitive edge in today's digital landscape.

Robust PSTN Connectivity for Reliable Communication
When it comes to business communication, reliability is key. That's why having robust PSTN connectivity is crucial for businesses seeking uninterrupted and dependable phone system connectivity. SIP trunk providers play a vital role in ensuring this robust connectivity through the use of SIP gateways.
SIP gateways act as the bridge between SIP trunks and traditional phone systems, allowing for seamless communication between the two. They enable businesses to connect their IP-based phone systems to the Public Switched Telephone Network (PSTN), ensuring that calls can be made and received without any disruptions.
With SIP gateways, businesses can leverage their existing phone systems while taking advantage of the cost savings and additional features provided by SIP trunking services. Whether it's making local or international calls, SIP gateways ensure that the communication is reliable and of high quality.
By partnering with a leading SIP trunk provider that offers robust PSTN connectivity, businesses can enjoy the benefits of a dependable and efficient phone system. They can confidently communicate with clients, customers, and partners, knowing that their calls will go through smoothly and without any hiccups.
Benefits of robust PSTN connectivity provided by SIP trunk providers:
Reliable and uninterrupted communication
Seamless integration between SIP trunks and traditional phone systems
Cost savings by leveraging existing phone systems
High-quality voice calls, both local and international
With robust PSTN connectivity provided by SIP trunk providers, businesses can achieve reliable and consistent communication, allowing them to focus on their core operations and serve their customers effectively.
Efficient Call Routing for Cost Savings
When it comes to business communication, efficient call routing plays a crucial role in ensuring seamless connectivity and optimizing costs. Leading SIP trunk providers offer robust call routing capabilities that enable businesses to streamline their communication processes and drive cost savings.
Call routing involves the intelligent distribution of incoming calls to the most appropriate destination within an organization. With SIP trunking, businesses can leverage advanced call routing features to enhance their overall communication efficiency. These features include:
Automatic call forwarding: Incoming calls can be automatically redirected to different extensions or departments based on pre-defined rules. This ensures that calls are efficiently routed to the most suitable individuals or teams, minimizing the need for manual intervention.
Time-based routing: Businesses can set up call routing rules based on specific time frames. For example, calls received outside of office hours can be redirected to voicemail or a designated on-call team, ensuring that no important calls go unanswered.
Geographical routing: SIP trunk providers also offer geographical call routing functionality. Calls can be directed to different locations or branches based on the caller's geographical location. This ensures that customers are connected to the most relevant and geographically suitable agents or representatives.
By implementing efficient call routing strategies, businesses can achieve significant cost savings. With intelligent call routing, organizations can reduce unnecessary call transfers and minimize the time spent on handling each call. This optimized call flow helps enhance productivity and customer satisfaction while reducing operational costs.
Moreover, leading SIP trunk providers offer flexible pricing models for their call routing services, allowing businesses to pay for the specific call routing features they require. This ensures cost-efficient communication solutions tailored to their unique needs and enables them to avoid unnecessary expenses.
With the right call routing capabilities provided by leading SIP trunk providers, businesses can maximize their communication efficiency, reduce costs, and deliver exceptional customer experiences.

Wholesale Voice Solutions for Enterprise Needs
SIP trunk providers offer wholesale voice solutions tailored to meet the specific communication needs of enterprises. These solutions enable businesses to streamline their voice services while enjoying cost savings and improved efficiency. Let's explore how wholesale voice, wholesale VoIP, and wholesale voice termination can benefit your enterprise.
Benefits of Wholesale Voice Solutions
Cost Savings: Wholesale voice solutions allow enterprises to purchase voice services in bulk at discounted rates, resulting in significant cost savings compared to traditional voice services.
Scalability: These solutions are highly scalable, allowing businesses to easily add or remove channels based on their changing communication needs.
Reliable Performance: Leading SIP trunk providers ensure high-quality voice termination services, providing crystal-clear voice communication for seamless business operations.
Flexibility: Wholesale voice solutions offer businesses the flexibility to choose the most suitable voice termination options, such as local, international, or toll-free numbers.
Centralized Management: Enterprises can manage their voice services centrally, reducing administrative complexities and enhancing overall control of their communication systems.
Wholesale VoIP and Voice Termination
Wholesale VoIP allows businesses to transmit voice calls over the internet. By partnering with a reputable SIP trunk provider, enterprises can benefit from wholesale VoIP services that offer extensive coverage, competitive pricing, and exceptional call quality. Wholesale voice termination refers to the process of routing voice calls to their intended destinations across various networks. SIP trunk providers ensure seamless voice termination, ensuring that businesses can connect with their customers and partners without any disruptions.
Scalability and Flexibility of SIP Trunking
When it comes to business communication, adaptability is key. That's why SIP trunking services from leading providers offer unmatched scalability and flexibility, allowing businesses to easily adjust their communication infrastructure as their needs evolve.
With SIP trunking, businesses can add or remove SIP channels effortlessly, enabling them to optimize their resources and costs. Whether you need to accommodate a sudden increase in call volume or scale down during slower periods, SIP trunking allows for seamless adjustments without disrupting your operations.
By partnering with reliable SIP trunk providers, businesses gain access to the internet telephony solutions they need to connect with customers, clients, and partners across the globe. Leveraging the power of SIP channels, organizations can establish high-quality voice calls and exchange data efficiently, regardless of geographical boundaries.
What's more, SIP trunking services enable businesses to integrate modern communication technologies seamlessly. By leveraging internet telephony, companies can enjoy the benefits of unified communications, combining voice, messaging, and other collaboration tools into a single, cohesive platform.
By harnessing the scalability and flexibility offered by SIP trunking, businesses can future-proof their communication systems, ensuring they can adapt to evolving customer demands and industry trends. Whether it's expanding to new markets, supporting remote workforces, or implementing advanced communication features, SIP trunking provides the foundation for growth and innovation.

In the next section, we will explore the robust redundancy and disaster recovery solutions offered by leading SIP trunk providers, ensuring uninterrupted communication even during unforeseen events.
Redundancy and Disaster Recovery Solutions
Leading SIP Trunk Providers understand the critical need for uninterrupted communication in today's business landscape. That is why they offer robust redundancy and disaster recovery solutions to ensure seamless operations even during unforeseen events.
Disasters such as natural calamities or system failures can significantly disrupt communication channels, leading to loss of productivity and potential revenue. However, businesses can mitigate these risks by partnering with SIP Trunk Providers that prioritize disaster recovery solutions.
Redundancy for Reliable Communication
SIP Trunk Providers leverage redundant infrastructure to maintain service availability and minimize downtime. By deploying multiple data centers located in geographically diverse regions, these providers ensure that even if one location goes offline, communication remains uninterrupted. This redundancy eliminates single points of failure, resulting in highly reliable and resilient SIP trunking services.
Furthermore, leading providers employ advanced failover mechanisms to seamlessly switch traffic to an alternate data center in case of any disruption. This automated process helps maintain continuity and enables businesses to overcome challenges without any significant impact on their communication systems.
Disaster Recovery Solutions for Business Continuity
In addition to redundancy, SIP Trunk Providers offer comprehensive disaster recovery solutions to safeguard businesses during emergencies. These solutions include backup strategies, data replication, and failover procedures to ensure that critical communication services are quickly restored in the event of a disaster.
By implementing disaster recovery plans and backup systems, SIP Trunk Providers can swiftly recover data, reroute calls, and restore services, minimizing any potential loss of communication and allowing businesses to resume operations promptly.
Benefits of Redundancy and Disaster Recovery Solutions
Ensures uninterrupted communication, enhancing business continuity
Minimizes potential revenue loss during downtime
Provides peace of mind knowing that communication channels are protected
Facilitates quick restoration of services, reducing downtime impact
Improves overall reliability and resilience of communication systems
By partnering with a SIP Trunk Provider that prioritizes redundancy and disaster recovery solutions, businesses can effectively safeguard their communication infrastructure, enabling them to stay connected even in the face of adversity.
Quality of Service and Service Level Agreements
When it comes to SIP trunking services, the quality of service (QoS) offered by SIP trunk providers is paramount. Whether you are a small business or a large enterprise, ensuring reliable and high-quality communication is essential for seamless operations.
Quality of service refers to the performance and reliability of the voice and data transmission over SIP trunks. It encompasses factors such as call clarity, minimal latency, and consistent bandwidth allocation. Achieving a high level of quality requires the expertise and infrastructure provided by reputable SIP trunk providers.
SIP trunk providers understand the significance of QoS and strive to deliver exceptional performance. They maintain robust networks and employ advanced technologies to ensure crystal-clear voice calls and smooth data transmissions. By prioritizing QoS, businesses can avoid issues like dropped calls, poor audio quality, and data loss.
In addition to QoS, service level agreements (SLAs) play a crucial role in guaranteeing reliable communication. SLAs are contracts between businesses and SIP trunk providers that outline the expected level of service. They define metrics such as uptime percentage, call completion rates, and response times for support inquiries.
With SLAs in place, businesses can have peace of mind knowing that their communication system is backed by guarantees. In the event of any service disruptions, providers are bound to resolve issues promptly, minimizing downtime and ensuring uninterrupted operations.
SIP Trunk Providers: Ensuring High-Quality Communication
Advanced network infrastructure: Leading SIP trunk providers invest in state-of-the-art network infrastructure to deliver superior quality of service. They prioritize traffic to minimize latency, jitter, and packet loss.
Bandwidth management: Providers allocate and manage bandwidth effectively to ensure consistent performance even during peak usage periods. This allows businesses to maintain optimal communication quality without bottlenecks.
Quality monitoring and optimization: SIP trunk providers continuously monitor and optimize their services to identify and address potential quality issues. They employ proactive measures to maintain the highest standards of communication quality.
Redundancy and failover systems: To ensure reliable communication, providers have redundant systems in place. In the event of any network or hardware failures, failover systems seamlessly switch to backup routes, minimizing service disruptions.
By partnering with a reputable SIP trunk provider, businesses can leverage their expertise and infrastructure to achieve exceptional quality of service. This translates into clearer calls, smoother data transfers, and enhanced overall communication experiences.
Next, we'll explore the security and encryption features offered by leading SIP trunk providers to ensure the privacy and protection of your communication. But first, let's take a moment to visualize the importance of quality of service in SIP trunking services.

Security and Encryption Features
When it comes to business communication, security is paramount. Leading SIP Trunk Providers understand this and offer robust security measures and encryption features to ensure the confidentiality and integrity of your communications.
One of the key security features offered by SIP Trunk Providers is Transport Layer Security (TLS). TLS encrypts the communication between your organization and the service provider, preventing unauthorized access and eavesdropping. It provides end-to-end encryption, keeping your data secure from the moment it leaves your network until it reaches its destination.
In addition to TLS, providers often employ Secure Real-time Transport Protocol (SRTP) for securing voice and video calls. SRTP encrypts the media streams, making sure that your conversations cannot be intercepted or tampered with. This adds an extra layer of protection to your sensitive business communications.
SIP Trunk Providers also implement firewalls and intrusion detection systems to safeguard against unauthorized access attempts. These security measures monitor and block suspicious activity, protecting your network from potential threats.
Furthermore, some providers offer multi-factor authentication (MFA) to enhance security. With MFA, users are required to provide additional verification, such as a unique code sent to their mobile device, before accessing the SIP trunking service. This reduces the risk of unauthorized access even if login credentials are compromised.
By leveraging the security features provided by leading SIP Trunk Providers, businesses can have peace of mind knowing that their communications are protected from external threats. Choosing a provider that prioritizes security ensures the confidentiality, integrity, and availability of your critical business communications.
SIP Trunk Provider Comparison: Factors to Consider
When choosing the right SIP trunk provider for your business phone solutions, it's essential to carefully evaluate and compare different options. To ensure that you make an informed decision, consider the following key factors:
Reliability: Look for SIP trunk providers that have a proven track record of reliable service and uptime. Check customer reviews and testimonials to get an idea of their performance.
Call Quality: High-quality voice calls are crucial for effective business communication. Consider providers that offer advanced technologies and prioritize call quality.
Scalability: Your business communication needs may change and grow over time. Choose a provider that allows easy scalability, enabling you to add or remove trunks as per your requirements.
Cost: Compare pricing plans offered by different providers, considering both setup costs and ongoing charges. Look for transparent pricing models without hidden fees.
Compatibility: Ensure that the SIP trunk provider is compatible with your existing phone system and equipment. This compatibility will simplify integration and minimize potential disruption.
Customer Support: Evaluate the level of customer support offered by each provider. You'll want a provider that provides timely and reliable support to address any issues that may arise.
Security: Business communication requires robust security measures to protect sensitive information. Look for providers that offer encrypted communication and have strong security protocols in place.
By carefully considering these factors, you can select a SIP trunk provider that best meets the unique needs of your business, ensuring seamless and efficient communication.

How to Select the Right SIP Trunk Provider
When it comes to implementing SIP trunking for your business, selecting the right SIP trunk provider is crucial for achieving seamless communication. With numerous providers available in the market, it can be overwhelming to choose the one that best fits your business needs. To help you make an informed decision, follow this step-by-step guide:
Evaluate your business requirements: Before selecting a SIP trunk provider, assess your communication needs. Consider factors such as the number of concurrent calls, anticipated call volume, and desired features like call routing and voicemail-to-email.
Research reputable providers: Look for SIP trunk providers with a proven track record and positive customer reviews. Research their industry experience, customer support services, and the range of features they offer.
Compare pricing: Obtain quotes from different providers and compare their pricing structures. Consider any additional fees, such as setup fees or charges for exceeding usage limits.
Evaluate call quality: Quality of service (QoS) is crucial for ensuring clear and reliable communication. Inquire about the provider's network infrastructure, redundancy measures, and service level agreements (SLAs) that guarantee call quality.
Inquire about network coverage: Ensure that the provider's network coverage aligns with your business requirements. If your business operates in multiple locations, confirm that the provider can offer reliable service in all those areas.
Consider scalability: Assess the provider's scalability offerings to accommodate your business growth. Check if they can easily add or remove SIP channels as your communication needs evolve.
By following these steps, you can confidently select the right SIP trunk provider for your business. Remember to prioritize factors such as reliable service, competitive pricing, and excellent customer support. With the right provider, you can enhance your business communication and streamline your operations.

Benefits of Partnering with a Leading SIP Trunk Provider
Partnering with a leading SIP Trunk Provider can offer numerous advantages and play a pivotal role in enhancing your business communication. These providers bring a wealth of value-added services, reliability, and expertise to ensure seamless connectivity and efficient operations.
One of the primary benefits of partnering with a leading SIP trunk provider is the access to advanced technology and infrastructure. These providers invest heavily in state-of-the-art equipment, software, and network infrastructure, enabling businesses to leverage the latest communication solutions. This ensures that your organization stays ahead of the curve in today’s fast-paced digital landscape.
A leading SIP trunk provider also offers unmatched reliability. By utilizing redundant networks, advanced failover systems, and disaster recovery solutions, they ensure uninterrupted communication even during unforeseen events or network disruptions. This ensures seamless connectivity and minimizes downtime, allowing your business to operate smoothly.
Furthermore, collaborating with a reputable SIP trunk provider grants access to a range of value-added services. These include features such as auto-attendants, call recording, call forwarding, and virtual phone numbers. These services enhance the functionality and efficiency of your business phone system, improving customer experience and overall productivity.
In addition to the technical aspects, partnering with a leading SIP trunk provider offers the advantage of expertise and support. These providers have a team of experienced professionals who understand the intricacies of SIP trunking and can provide valuable guidance and support. Whether it's setting up the system, troubleshooting issues, or optimizing performance, their expertise ensures that you get the most out of your SIP trunking investment.
Moreover, working with a trusted SIP trunk provider strengthens your business's security and compliance. These providers implement robust security measures, including encryption protocols and firewalls, to safeguard your communication channels and protect sensitive data. This peace of mind allows you to concentrate on your core business without worrying about potential security breaches.
By partnering with a leading SIP trunk provider, businesses also benefit from cost savings. As compared to traditional phone systems, SIP trunking offers significant cost advantages, including lower long-distance and international call rates, reduced maintenance costs, and simplified infrastructure. These savings can directly impact your bottom line and contribute to overall business growth.
In conclusion, partnering with a leading SIP trunk provider offers a plethora of benefits, such as advanced technology, enhanced reliability, value-added services, expert support, improved security, and cost savings. By leveraging the expertise and services provided by these providers, businesses can streamline their communication processes, enhance productivity, and stay competitive in the ever-evolving business landscape.
Conclusion
Choosing a leading SIP trunk provider is crucial for businesses seeking enhanced communication capabilities. Throughout this article, we have explored the key features offered by these providers and how they can benefit your organization. By understanding SIP trunking services and their integration with VoIP systems, businesses can achieve seamless communication across different channels.
Robust PSTN connectivity ensures reliable communication between SIP trunks and traditional phone systems, while efficient call routing capabilities can lead to cost savings and improved efficiency. Furthermore, wholesale voice solutions offered by leading SIP trunk providers cater to the enterprise needs of businesses, enhancing their communication infrastructure.
Scalability and flexibility are inherent in SIP trunking services, allowing businesses to adapt to changing communication requirements easily. With built-in redundancy and disaster recovery solutions, interruptions to communication are minimized, ensuring business continuity. Additionally, these providers prioritize quality of service through service level agreements, guaranteeing reliable and high-quality communication.
Security features and encryption protocols offered by leading SIP trunk providers ensure the confidentiality and integrity of business communications. By carefully considering the factors mentioned in this article and conducting a thorough assessment, businesses can select the right SIP trunk provider that aligns with their specific needs and goals. Partnering with a leading SIP trunk provider brings a host of benefits, including value-added services and expertise that optimize business communication.
In conclusion, choosing a leading SIP trunk provider lays a strong foundation for reliable, secure, and efficient business communication. By embracing high-quality SIP trunking services, businesses can streamline their communication systems and gain a competitive edge in today's digital landscape.
#SIP trunking services#VoIP providers#Business phone solutions#PSTN connectivity#VoIP integration#SIP channels#Session Initiation Protocol#Unified Communications#Internet telephony#SIP protocol#SIP gateway#Phone system connectivity#SIP trunk pricing#Call routing#PBX integration#SIP trunk setup#VoIP connectivity#SIP service providers#SIP trunk features#SIP termination#Youtube
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I Loved Everything about the Fluff episode, and I just Had to isolate Alex NeUwUel's in and outro's. Please Enjoy. Bonus Screenshot from the Monte Cook stream last year that had appropriate vibes.

#the magnus protocol#tmp#tmp spoilers#the magnus protocol spoilers#fluff episode#alexander j newall#my audio#the ONLY crime for this was the sipping sound#and that its implied that alex is drinking tea#which he would never#maybe it's just his warm water
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slooowly getting into mag protocols... some character thoughts here since ive not yet looked at how other ppl draw da crew
#tmagp#the magnus protocol#myart#sipping some whales#im probably gonna shave sams face a bit. make him look a bit youbger
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aughh I kinda gave up in the middle of the hair but ill post it anyway
it's based off of that one post by @cult-of-the-eye 👍
#theres some lil references in the corkboard in case you wanna zoom in#technically she's not sipping bourbon but im too tired to care#tmagp#art#the magnus protocol#alice dyer#tmagp fanart#fanart#artists on tumblr
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Unauthorized Response
Thought to myself: Oh, I'll just bang out a quick one-shot and try writing smut for the first time, and it somehow turned into this monstrosity (sorry for the word count)
Pairing: Avengers!Bucky x Scientist!Reader
Summary: The experimental neurobond was an accident. Getting stuck with Bucky Barnes was just your luck. Now you’re linked—body, mind, and something worse: sexual tension. You’ve got 72 hours to resist him. And every hour, it gets harder to remember why you should...
Warnings: 18+ (mdni!). Explicit Sexual Content. Enemies to Lovers. Forced Proximity. Accidental Neurobond. Shared Dreams. Shared Physical Sensations. Angst. Mutual Pining. Female Masturbation. Oral Sex (f receiving), Dirty Talk, Vaginal Sex. Praise Kink. Creampie. Multiple Orgasms. Post Thunderbolts Setting. Fluff.
Word Count: 16k
You’re three sips into your too-hot coffee when you see him.
He’s leaning against the wall outside Lab 4, all broad shoulders and brooding posture, like some kind of noir detective who wandered into a government facility and refused to leave. Tactical black from neck to boots. That infamous metal arm crossed over his chest like it has something to say and no one brave enough to contradict it.
Tall. Sharp. Sullen.
James Buchanan Barnes.
You stop mid-step. Your brain short-circuits just long enough for the lid of your coffee cup to betray you—a small dribble of liquid lava hits the edge of your hand.
“Shit,” you hiss, wiping it on your lab coat. Not the best look, but frankly, it’s not like he can judge. You have your flaws. He has a kill count.
Captain America’s ex-best friend. The Winter Soldier turned Avenger. The human embodiment of a sealed file. Exactly what your overclocked nervous system needs at seven in the damn morning.
You don’t hate him. That would require too much emotional investment. What you feel is more like… persistent irritation mixed with a healthy dose of distrust. He’s everything you resent about agents: cocky, haunted, prone to unpredictable violence, and somehow still glorified in every agency briefing and classified report.
But more than that—it’s the Budapest symposium.
Two months ago, you were presenting a closed-door session on the ethical implications of biometric surveillance overlays in the field. You’d made a case for data-limited neural interface protocols—no deep emotion-mapping without consent, no unconscious tracking. You had charts. Citations. A damn good argument.
And Bucky Barnes? He was in the back row, arms folded, face unreadable. Before the time even came for questions, he stood up and asked—in front of a dozen international regulators—
“Aren’t you just trying to build a better leash?”
The room had gone quiet. You’d gone cold. Because the worst part was—he hadn’t been wrong.
He walked out before you could answer, leaving you to field the fallout with a thin smile and a throat full of fury. You spent the next week drafting three different sarcastic emails you never sent.
So no, you’re not thrilled to see him outside your lab. Especially not looking like a government-issued mistake you’d almost make twice.
“You’re here,” you say once your voice decides to cooperate. You hold your coffee like a weapon—or a shield. “And scowling. Which I think breaks at least two of our site protocols.”
He turns his head slightly. Those icy blue eyes flick toward you, unreadable behind the scruff and the perpetual shadow of something heavier than war. You’ve read the file. But seeing him again in person is different. Less haunted soldier, more statue carved from tension.
“Security assignment,” he says, voice low and gravel-rough. “I’m with you today.”
You blink. “Excuse me?”
“Protocol says highest-risk assets get an escort during internal breach investigations.”
And by ‘protocol’, he means Val.
You stare at him. “I thought that meant someone like Ava. Or Lena. Not…” You gesture vaguely at all of him. “This whole glowering thing.”
He doesn’t answer. Just steps forward, pushes the door open, and holds it for you with exaggerated politeness—like a gentleman or a prison warden. You’re not sure which is worse.
You walk past him muttering, “I’m not a high-risk asset. I’m a scientist who got stuck in the crossfire of a bureaucratic dick-measuring contest.”
He follows close behind, boots heavy on the linoleum. “You designed a compound that links neural responses across two brains. That’s high-risk by definition.”
You spin on your heel to face him. “It was theoretical. You know what theoretical means, right? No human trials. No deployment. No volunteers. The compound is locked down in cold storage with three redundant containment protocols.”
There’s a beat of silence.
“You sound defensive,” he goads mildly.
Your jaw drops. “I sound correct.”
He raises one eyebrow, expression neutral—which somehow makes it worse. “You always this wound up?”
You glare. “Only when former assassins are breathing down my neck before breakfast.”
He gives the faintest shrug, like it’s not worth arguing. You turn away again, heels clicking faster now as you head for the secure wing, hoping you look more in control than you feel.
God, you haven’t even had time to check your email.
The corridor stretches long and bright and sterile, lined with reinforced doors and retina scanners, every square foot designed to scream classified. You reach the final keypad and punch in your code, a practiced sequence that usually calms you. But this morning it just makes your fingers itch.
The door slides open with a quiet beep—
And the air hits you like a punch to the face.
Your nostrils flare instinctively. Sharp. Acrid. A faint metallic tang riding the edge of the ventilation.
Chemical.
You freeze. One second. Two. Your brain connects the dots a hair too late.
Gas.
“No, no, no—”
You drop your coffee—cup and all—and sprint into the lab. Your eyes lock instantly on the containment cabinet against the far wall. The red emergency light above it pulses in warning, casting the walls in sickly, flickering hues.
The cabinet—where the prototype compound is stored under triple-sealed cryo-containment—is open. Not wide. Just… cracked. A whisper of vapor hisses from its seams like breath from a sleeping monster.
You spin toward the door. “Barnes, get the door sealed—”
But he’s already inside, scanning the room, eyes sharp and military-fast, and it’s too late anyway.
The soft whoomp of emergency ventilation kicks in, the system responding to your alert. You stagger as the remaining aerosolized compound bursts into the air in a rapid pressure release—microscopic particles blooming invisible around you like a deadly fog.
You cough. Once. Twice. The taste hits the back of your throat. And then you feel it.
Not panic. Not exactly. More like a tug just behind your ribs. A subtle wrongness threading through your consciousness like a splinter sliding in the grain.
Not pain. Not fear. Something else. Something other.
You turn—and Bucky Barnes is staring at you like you’ve both just heard the same gunshot.
His pupils are blown. His stance off-kilter. He looks—
Connected. Like he feels it too.
“Oh shit,” you whisper.
Because there’s only one thing in that cabinet capable of inducing a shared neuro-emotive feedback loop between two human brains.
And now it isn’t theoretical anymore. It’s happening.
To you. And him. Together.
—-
You’re ushered into quarantine within six minutes of exposure.
By minute seven, your blood pressure has been taken, your pupils checked, and your ego thoroughly trampled by a flurry of panicked lab techs—and one very smug containment officer who keeps muttering, “Told you this was going to happen,” like your entire life’s work exists solely to vindicate his mediocre career.
By minute ten, you’re sitting on the edge of a cot in Isolation Chamber A, glaring through the reinforced glass at James Buchanan Barnes in Chamber B like you can will his lungs to stop working out of sheer spite.
He, unfortunately, looks fine.
“You don’t look like you’re dying,” he says blandly.
You fold your arms. “Neither do you. Tragic oversight.”
He doesn’t smile. Of course not. He just leans back on his cot with that frustratingly composed, ex-assassin posture. Like stillness is a performance and he’s performing it at an Olympic level.
It makes your teeth itch.
“You feel anything?” he asks, casually. Too casually. As if he’s not currently entangled in a theoretical neural tether that was never supposed to reach human trials, much less him.
You hesitate. “Not really.”
Which isn’t a lie. But it isn’t the whole truth either.
Physically, you feel fine. No nausea. No tremors. No limbic misfires. But there’s something else. A buzz under your skin. Familiar, because you modeled it. Dismissible—until it isn’t.
A quiet frequency, just at the edge of perception. Like pressure. Or breath on the back of your neck.
Mental static. Not yours.
“I feel something,” Bucky says. He frowns—an actual expression—and taps his chest once, distracted. “Not pain. Just… something else.”
You arch a brow. “Let me guess. Low-level irritation and the overwhelming urge to be left alone?”
His eyes flick to yours. “Exactly.”
You scowl. “That’s me, genius.”
He blinks. Then frowns harder. “Shit.”
You groan. “Nope. This cannot be happening. Absolutely not. No thank you.”
You stand up abruptly and start pacing. The cot creaks behind you like it also hates this.
Because this is bad. Not theoretically bad. Functionally. You know what the compound is designed to do—and how unstable it gets at full potency. This isn’t an accident. It’s a worst-case scenario.
The door hisses open.
Dr. Yen, the Chief Medical Officer of your division steps in, tablet already lit, lips pressed thin. You’ve seen that look before. It means the results are in, and you’re not going to like them.
“Vitals are stable,” she says. “No visible cellular breakdown. But limbic scans are confirming cross-resonance.”
You close your eyes. “So it’s real.”
“It’s real,” she confirms. “You’re linked.”
Across the glass, Bucky sighs. “Linked how?”
Yen barely looks up. “Emotionally. Neurologically. The aerosolized bond agent was absorbed via mucosal membranes—eyes, nose, mouth. Maximum contact.”
“You’re saying we’re… what? Reading each other’s minds?”
“Not minds,” you say automatically. “Emotional states. Neural fluctuations. Maybe low-level somatic impulses.”
She nods. “Shared dreams are possible. Mirror physiology. Elevated empathy. Possibly even localized reflex responses.”
Bucky raises an eyebrow. “So if she stubs her toe, I feel it?”
“Not unless your motor cortex overcompensates. Which is unlikely. For now.”
You sit back down, hard. “This wasn’t supposed to happen.”
Yen gives you a dry look. “No, but your name’s still at the top of the protocol. I believe the phrase you used in your original paper was ‘temporary adaptive tethering of live-state neural patterns via synthetic limbic resonance.’”
You mutter, “God, I hate myself.”
“You invented the scientific version of a psychic handcuff,” Bucky says.
You glare at him. “Trust me, if I could break it off and throw it in a volcano, I would.”
He leans back again, exasperated, like this is just another mission gone sideways. But you see it now—underneath the irritation. Not just annoyance.
Curiosity. Amusement. And something quieter that you can’t place yet.
Dr. Yen taps through her readings. “We’re transferring you to Observation Room One. Together.”
“What? Why?” you ask.
“Because separating you could intensify the neurological drift. The bond is responding to proximity—removing it might trigger feedback escalation.”
You blink. “Escalation?”
“Increased bleed. Emotional volatility. Uncontrolled synching. You remember, the time we tested on mice, one started trying to dig a tunnel with its face when the other was removed.”
You stare.
Bucky sighs. “Great. Can’t wait.”
Dr. Yen continues, already halfway out the door. “I’ll monitor for spike activity. Try not to kill each other.”
The door hisses shut behind her.
You look at Bucky. He looks at you. And just like that, the hum gets louder. Not in the room. In your chest. Like the tension between you has grown teeth.
“Don’t talk to me,” you mutter, grabbing your duffel.
He smirks. “I don’t have to. You’re already broadcasting loud and clear.”
“Then prepare to suffer.”
You follow the guards out of the chamber, still vibrating with dread, loathing, and a pressure you absolutely refuse to call attraction.
He falls in step beside you.
And just before the door closes behind you, you hear him mutter, “Could be worse.”
You don’t look at him.
He finishes anyway. “You could be stuck with Walker.”
—
The room isn’t big. Two cots. One bathroom. A table with bolted-down chairs. A surveillance camera blinking red in the corner like a passive-aggressive metronome. The air’s too cold, the lights too bright, and the fluorescent hum drills straight into the base of your skull.
Everything about the room says safe and neutral. Which really means sterile. A trap.
You sit across from Bucky at the table, arms folded tight across your chest, as if sheer compression might keep your thoughts from bleeding into the air between you.
It doesn’t work.
There’s that tug behind your ribs—low, persistent, off. Not pain. Not even discomfort, really. Just… dissonance. Like your body’s tuned to the wrong frequency and can’t stop resonating. Or, more accurately: someone else is doing the vibrating, and you’re just along for the ride.
Barnes stretches out in his chair like he’s got nowhere better to be, shuffling a deck of cards with infuriating calm. His hands move slow and steady. Like he’s done this before. Like it centers him.
You don’t want to know what he needs centering from.
The silence builds, heavy and electric. Until finally, you crack.
“So,” you say, deadpan. “This is awkward.”
He doesn’t look up. Just keeps shuffling. “You think?”
“You’re taking this very well for someone who just got mentally handcuffed to basically a complete stranger.”
His jaw flexes but he only shrugs. “Not the weirdest thing that’s happened to me.”
There’s no bravado in it. Just tired truth.
You sigh. “God. What a comforting standard.”
He cuts the deck with a flick of his wrist, then holds a card out toward you without even glancing up. You narrow your eyes. Then take it anyway.
Blackjack. Of course.
“Is this how you pass time in high-security quarantine?” you mutter. “Gambling with unwilling civilians?”
“You’re not unwilling,” he replies easily. “You’re just pissed it’s your own fault you’re stuck with me, Doc.”
You open your mouth—then close it again. Because the second he says it, you feel it: a jolt of annoyance. Not just yours. A flicker of his, folded inside something steadier. Something infuriatingly composed.
Your irritation rebounds like a ricochet—hits something calm. Anchored. And softens.
You feel it. His quiet, bone-deep stillness sliding under your skin like heat through a vent. Not comforting. Not invasive. Just there.
You stare at him, breath catching. Then drop the card on the table. “God. This is real.”
He finally meets your eyes. “Yeah. It is.”
“It was just a theory. I never meant for it to get to this… But y’know, Val.”
He jerks out a nod. Your pulse kicks. “You can feel me.”
He nods once. “And you can feel me. Can’t you?”
You don’t answer right away.
Taking stock of what’s resonating through your body. A pressure you want to think is just the room, the strangeness of proximity, the humiliating weight of a containment protocol gone wrong.
But it’s not the room. It’s him.
You can feel his focus when he watches you—that heavy, unblinking heat of attention, like standing too close to a silent engine. You can feel his amusement when you snap at him, like your temper tickles something buried and patient beneath the surface. You can feel the effort it takes for him to stay back—to keep his emotional distance while you’re sitting three feet away. Like he’s building a wall in real time, plank by plank. You can feel him trying not to feel you.
Biting your lip, you take a few deep breaths, trying to calm your rapidly rising pulse. It’s intimate in the worst possible way. The kind that makes privacy a joke and pretending pointless.
Every flicker of discomfort. Of defensiveness. Of attraction—
Wait.
Your stomach flips. That wasn’t yours.
It comes in hot and sharp, a spike of want so visceral it knocks the breath out of you. Frustration tangled with something lower. Needier. You haven’t felt anything like that in months, maybe years.
For one stupid second, you want to crawl out of your skin. And then it’s gone. Or suppressed. Or masked. Or—
“You okay?” he asks.
His voice is lower now. Cautious.
You nod too fast. “Fine.”
You can tell he doesn’t buy it. Doesn’t need to. He probably feels the spike in your chest, the flicker of your pulse when it jumps. You’ve lost your poker face. And not because of the cards. God, you are never going to survive this.
“So we're just stuck here?” you ask, trying to steady your voice. “We just sit here for three days and try not to think about anything incriminating?”
He tilts his head, the corner of his mouth twitching. “That’s not really how brains work. And just a gentle reminder—you’re the one who built this little science fair nightmare.”
You groan and bury your face in your hands. “I am going to kill Dr. Yen.”
“She said it’s temporary.”
“She also said we might share dreams.”
Bucky makes a face. “Don’t dream much anymore.”
“Well, I do,” you mutter. “And I don’t need you wandering through my subconscious.”
A beat.
“You think I want you in mine?”
That shuts you up. Because no. You don’t think he wants anyone in there. Not even himself.
The silence settles again. But it’s not empty.
You can feel his discomfort now. Quiet and low-grade. But there. Wrapped around something denser. Guilt, maybe. Something that sticks. And underneath it—just barely—curiosity.
You sit back, exhaling. “We need ground rules.”
“Like what?”
“Like no thinking about sex. Or trauma. Or childhood pets.”
He snorts. “In that order?”
“Especially in that order.”
You catch the edge of a smile before he looks down again, resuming his slow, steady shuffle. The cards whisper against each other like they’re in on the joke.
You try not to notice how your chest feels a little less tight. How the noise in your head quiets when his focus drifts. How the hum beneath your skin feels less like static and more like something alive, because you’re feeling him. And—God help you—he’s feeling you.
—
The lights never fully shut off. They dim, sure, but the surveillance camera stays on, its little red eye blinking in the corner like it’s watching your soul unravel in real time. The overhead fluorescents are on a slow cycle, just soft enough to lull your brain into thinking it can rest—until the second you close your eyes and they flicker again.
You’re not sleeping. And judging by the restless way Bucky shifts on his cot every few minutes—blankets rustling, jaw grinding—he isn’t either.
The silence is loud. Not peaceful. Not companionable. Just dense. Like the air itself is waiting for one of you to say something that will tip the whole room over the edge.
You’ve tried reading. Tried meditating. Tried breathing exercises, even though you usually hate those with a passion reserved for line-cutters and PowerPoint animations.
None of it helps. Because whatever thin emotional boundary once existed between you and Bucky Barnes has long since dissolved.
His emotions creep into you like fog—quiet, heavy, invasive. You don’t get specifics, not clearly, but the mood is unmistakable. Guilt. Anger. A bone-deep ache compressed into something sharp and humming under the surface.
You feel it. And worse—you can tell he’s trying not to let you.
You roll over for the hundredth time, then give up. Sit up. Rub your hands over your face. The room feels like it’s shrinking. Or maybe it’s just the part of your brain still screaming about boundaries.
From across the room, his voice finally cuts through the quiet.
“You feel that too?”
It’s rough. Quiet. Worn raw from disuse.
You blink into the dim. “The… what? The vague, awful sense that I’m about to start crying for no reason?”
A beat.
“Yeah,” he says. “That.”
You press your fingertips to your temples. “God, is that you or me? I can’t even tell anymore.”
“Me,” he says immediately. “Sorry.”
You shake your head, rubbing your hands down your thighs. “Don’t be.”
And you mean it. Sort of.
“Do you wanna talk about it?” you ask, still not looking up. You’re not sure which one of you will flinch harder at the offer.
He’s quiet long enough that you figure it’s a no. A nerve hit. A wall closed.
Then, “No.”
You nod, the cot creaking beneath you. “Fair.”
A breath passes.
“But I might anyway,” he mutters, so low you almost miss it.
That makes you look. He’s sitting now, hunched forward with his elbows on his knees, staring at the floor like it might disappear if he looks hard enough. His vibranium fingers twitch—absent, reflexive.
“It’s like…” he starts, then stops. You wait. “When I was the Soldier, there were days I didn’t feel anything. Years, probably. Just… silence. Nothing in my head but orders.”
You stay still. Hold your breath.
“And then it all came back. All at once. Like my brain had been hoarding it in a box and someone finally kicked it open. And I couldn’t breathe under it.”
The weight of it lands between you like ash.
“And this?” He looks up at last. His face isn’t cold. It isn’t angry. It’s just tired. Raw.
“This feels like that. Too much. Too close. Like I can’t shut the door.”
Your throat tightens. Because you feel it too—his overwhelm, his fear of being seen, his instinct to slam every door before someone gets inside. It isn’t unfamiliar.
His jaw ticks. His eyes stay locked on yours. “And now you’re in my head."
“And now I’m in your head,” you echo.
There’s a beat before a low, dark laugh escapes him.
“Well. Fuck me.”
You smile—tiny, reflexive. “Tempting.”
His gaze sharpens at that. And instantly, you regret it—not because of the joke, but because of the response it pulls.
Want.
It hits like a shock to the chest. Sudden. Warm. Unmasked. Not lust. Not crude. Longing.
You flinch. Inhale sharply.
He looks away fast. “Shit. That wasn’t on purpose.”
You shoot to your feet, pulse kicking. “You’re not supposed to broadcast things like that.”
“I wasn’t!” His voice rises—gritty, strained. “I’ve been locking everything down since this started. But apparently your brain’s running on the emotional equivalent of a glass wall.”
You stare at him, heat rushing up your neck. “Jesus, Bucky.”
“You think I want you to know that I—” He cuts himself off, jaw clenching hard. Shakes his head like he’s trying to shove the feeling back down his throat.
You cross your arms tightly over your chest. “I don’t want to feel this.”
“Yeah, well, me neither.”
The silence snaps tight. You stand there, two hearts hammering in unison, locked in some terrible emotional feedback loop neither of you asked for. It doesn’t break. It pulses harder.
“I think I need a wall,” you mutter. “A mental one. Like an internal firewall.”
“I tried that already,” he says. “Didn’t hold.”
You look at him. He’s watching you again. Still. And it’s not anger on his face anymore. It’s grief.
“This is a violation of literally every HR protocol in existence,” you mumble, arms still crossed.
“Good thing I don’t work here.”
You snort. It escapes before you can stop it. And you feel it—that flicker of relief from him. Small. Fleeting. But real.
You sit down hard on the edge of your cot. “I’m not good at this.”
“Neither am I.”
“I don’t want you to feel what I’m feeling.”
“I already do.”
You fall quiet. Because, for better or worse, you’re in this together now. You don’t know what’s scarier—that he can feel your loneliness. Or that you can feel his.
—
You’re dreaming.
You know it without knowing how. It’s the stillness that gives it away. Like the air is too weightless, the light too diffuse—nothing casting shadows, nothing fully real. The kind of hush that doesn’t exist in waking life.
You’re standing in a field you’ve never seen before. It’s not specific. Just green. A meadow with no wind, no scent, no sound. Every color softened at the edges like an unfinished rendering. It doesn’t feel like anything.
And that’s what tells you it’s yours. A liminal space. Peaceful. Barely conscious.
You close your eyes. And that’s when you feel it. A presence. A pulse.
Not in the dream—in you. Tapping against your thoughts like someone knocking softly on the inside of your skull.
Not words. Not movement. Just pressure. Steady. Coiled. Heavy with something unsaid.
Your eyes open. You turn in place, scanning the edges of the field, expecting—Nothing.
But the weight gets stronger. You feel it in your chest. Low. Familiar. Tense.
Bucky.
But you don’t see him. You just know he’s close. Or maybe not even close. Maybe just… bleeding in.
Your dream flickers.
A breeze picks up—impossible in a dream that’s never moved before. The grass ripples once, unnatural and out of sync, like the physics here are starting to break.
Your pulse stutters. And then—
It hits.
The air tears. The color drops. The field vanishes like someone cuts the feed.
And suddenly you’re underground.
A corridor. Narrow. Stained concrete walls. The ceiling is low, the light sharp blue and sterile. The air tastes like iron and rust. You stumble. Your knees scrape. You catch yourself on a wall that shouldn’t be cold, but is. It’s disorienting. Wrong. You know this isn’t your dream.
It’s his.
“Bucky?” you call out.
No answer. But the pressure behind your ribs spikes. You push forward anyway. Each step echoes. Your own, but also—his. Mismatched. Heavy. You turn a corner and see him.
He’s not looking at you. He’s walking in the opposite direction, body rigid, head bowed, like he’s being led. Or dragged.
He’s not dressed like the man you know. No tactical black. No soft tee and boots. Just bare arms and restraints. Fresh bruises. The remnants of blood not his own.
He’s not Bucky. Not here.
You try to speak but your voice fails. He turns the corner ahead. You follow.
The room you enter is stark. Cold. A chair in the center—stripped down and inhuman. Restraints hanging like dead vines. A spotlight fixed directly above it.
He’s standing beside it now, still not looking at you. The air is too still. Too thick. The bond hums so loudly you want to scream. And then he speaks.
“Don’t look.”
You freeze. His voice is quiet. Barely audible. But it’s him.
He still won’t face you.
“Bucky, this isn’t—”
“I said don’t look,” he says again. Sharper this time. A command—not to control you, but to protect himself. To hide. “You don’t want to see this.”
But it’s too late. The dream—his memory—wraps around you like wire. Sharp and invasive. You feel it like it’s your own. Not a picture. Not a scene. A flood.
Pain. Control. The snap of identity stripped away. Screams that echo without sound. The weight of command phrases burned into neural pathways like rot beneath the skin.
You stagger backward. But the bond holds. You feel it all. The moment he gave up trying to remember his name. The moment he forgot why it mattered.
“Please,” he says. He’s still facing away from you. Shoulders tense. Fists clenched.
“I’m sorry,” you whisper, tears blurring the edges of the dream.
“This isn’t yours,” he grits out. “You shouldn’t be here.”
You take a step closer anyway. That makes him turn. Not all the way. Just enough for you to see it—his face. Younger. Blank. Terrified.
“I didn’t want you to see,” he gestures to himself. “This.”
“I didn’t mean to,” you say, voice shaking. “I fell asleep and… you pulled me in.”
He winces. Like that makes it worse.
“I tried not to,” he admits. “I’m sorry.”
You reach out, slowly, not to touch him—just to offer your hand. Because right now, you’re in this together. And the bond doesn’t care what either of you want.
His gaze flicks to it. Then to you. His jaw flexes. And he takes it.
The second your fingers touch, the dream shudders. The restraints flicker. The chair vanishes. The floor beneath you cracks—just hairline fractures, like the nightmare is losing hold.
“I’m still here,” you say.
“I know,” he says softly.
And then—
—
You jolt upright in your cot, heart hammering. Breath sharp. Palms sweaty.
Across the room, Bucky sits up just as fast—like something yanked him out of deep water. He’s already breathing hard, sweat darkening the collar of his shirt, jaw clenched like it might hold something back if he just bites down hard enough.
You lock eyes. Neither of you speak. Not at first. The air is thick with something raw and invisible. Or the kind of silence that settles after a confession neither of you wanted to make.
He runs a hand over his face. “So. That happened.”
“Yeah,” you rasp.
You don’t say what that was. You don’t need to. You felt it. Lived it. Not as a witness. Not even as a passenger. As a part of him. And now you can’t un-feel it. Can’t shove it into a clean corner labeled ‘his problem’. It’s in you now. In your chest. Threaded through your ribs like something grafted there on instinct.
You shift slightly, fingers curling into the edge of the blanket, grounding yourself in anything that isn’t his memory. But it doesn’t help. The emotional weight is still there, even as the dream fades. A dull ache under your skin. The echo of metal restraints and too-bright lights.
He exhales, rough and low. “I didn’t want you to see that.”
You don’t answer right away. Instead, you lie back slowly, eyes on the ceiling. Cold. Pockmarked. Real. And for the first time since this started, you stop trying to block him out. Because the truth is, you don’t want to. Even now, with the weight of what you saw still lodged somewhere between your lungs. You don’t want to pretend you didn’t see him.
“It’s not your fault,” you murmur. “That I saw it.”
“No. But it’s still mine.”
You turn your head. He’s staring at the floor now, hands braced on his knees, elbows sharp beneath the sleeves of his shirt. His metal fingers twitch slightly. Barely a motion, but it radiates with tension. You feel that, too. Of course you do.
“Do you think if we sleep again…” you start, then trail off.
He finishes it. “We’ll go back?”
You nod once.
He shrugs. “Don’t know. I’ve never had to share a nightmare before.”
You breathe in. Then out. Neither of you moves.
The hum of the overhead lights seems louder now. The surveillance camera ticks faintly in the corner. Somewhere, two hearts beat in rhythm without trying.
“I’m not tired,” you say.
He glances up at you. “Me neither.”
It’s a lie, on both ends. You can feel it in your body. The ache. The heaviness. The way your limbs sink just a little deeper into the mattress. But sleep isn’t safe now. Not when it might mean pulling each other into things neither of you are ready to carry, let alone share.
You sit up again. Curl your legs under you. Bucky shifts to do the same. It’s not planned. It just happens.
No one speaks for a while. And then—
“I’m sorry you had to,” he starts, so quietly it barely lands. “Feel that.”
The words linger, fragile but deliberate. They hang in the air like breath held too long.
Bucky doesn’t look at you. Not right away. His shoulders stay tight, his stare pinned to the floor like he’s trying to unsee what he knows you saw.
You study him. And something shifts in your chest. It’s not sympathy. Not even admiration. It’s deeper than that. Stranger. Something close to awe—and not the clean kind. The complicated kind. The kind that unsettles.
Because now you’ve seen him. Not the soldier. Not the sarcasm and shadow. The person. The fear. The memory. The grief.
And somehow, that makes him feel… real. Not more fragile. Not smaller. Just clearer. You’re seeing him now in a way you hadn’t before. And it’s doing something to you.
Is it the link?
You want to say yes. Want to blame the synaptic bleed, the proximity, the dream. Want to label it as data and side effects and bad timing. But deep down, you’re not sure. Not anymore.
You shift. Your voice, when it comes, is quieter than before.
“Do you have them a lot?”
He stills for a beat too long. Then he exhales, the sound low. “Used to. Nightly. For years.”
You nod, eyes tracing the seam of your blanket. “But not anymore?”
“Not like that,” he admits.
Something in your chest lifts, but only a little.
“So…” you hesitate, careful not to make it sound like anything more than what it is.
“Was it easier this time? With me there?”
This time, he looks up. Direct. Steady. No evasion. His voice is quiet. Almost reluctant. “Yeah.”
You blink. It shouldn’t matter. It shouldn’t land the way it does. But it does. Because it means something. Or it might. Or maybe it only feels like it does because your brain is lit up on synthetic empathy and shared neural architecture. But still. It means something.
You nod, barely. “Okay.”
You don’t say what’s spinning in your chest: I see you now. I don’t want to look away. I don’t know if that’s you or me or both.
You can feel that he doesn’t want to ask either. Not yet. So neither of you does.
You both just sit there, in the dimmed silence. The bond—a quiet, pulsing presence between your ribs. And this time, you don’t try to shut it out. You just let yourself feel it. Feel him.
—
You wake up suddenly—hot, restless, throat dry. Your skin is flushed. Your pulse a little too fast. Your legs tangled in the blanket like you were shifting more than sleeping. It takes you a second to orient. The cot. The hum of the lights. And the slow burn pulsing under your skin.
You press your palms to your eyes. Shit.
You’re not dreaming anymore, but your body hasn’t gotten the message. Everything feels hypersensitive. Like someone turned up the volume on every nerve ending and forgot to turn it back down.
You exhale. Try to steady your breathing. But then your gaze shifts—and you see him.
Bucky’s still sitting where he was when you drifted off. Back against the wall. He looks calm, but there’s a sharpness in the set of his jaw, a tension in his posture.
He never went to sleep. He’s watching you now. Quiet. Steady. Like he already knows what you’re feeling.
You shift upright on the cot, trying to tamp it down—the warmth low in your belly, the ache that has no business being this loud, this early, in a lab-grade holding cell with your unintentional telepathic security detail.
“Did I…” you start, voice scratchy, “did I fall asleep again?”
He nods, slow. “Around four. You didn’t mean to.”
Your mouth goes dry. “Did you…?”
“No. You didn’t dream loud enough this time.”
It’s a joke. You think.
But then he tilts his head a fraction, brows drawing slightly together. “You feel… okay?”
You hesitate. Because yes. You do feel okay. You feel too okay. Your heart is kicking a little faster than it should and you know without looking in a mirror that your pupils are probably dilated.
There’s no fear. No adrenaline. Just— Want. Need. Aching. And you’re not entirely sure where it’s coming from.
“I feel… weird,” you murmur.
He shifts a little. You feel the ripple before you see it.
“Yeah,” he says. “Same.”
You glance at him again and your stomach flips. Because now that you’re paying attention, you can feel it. The thrum. The tension. That low, slow ache in your bloodstream that isn’t just yours anymore.
You clear your throat. “This doesn’t feel…emotional.”
“No,” he agrees. His voice is lower now. Rough. “It feels physical.”
Your breath catches. You both look away at the same time. The air thickens.
And then the door hisses open.
Dr. Yen steps in like a fire alarm, holding her tablet like a shield. “Morning,” she says briskly. “Vitals check.”
You sit still while she scans you. Bucky does too. Her eyes narrow slightly as she reads, her mouth pressing into a thin line.
Then she sighs. “Okay. So. Bit of a development.”
You wince, already bracing for whatever comes next.
“The bond’s progressing faster than expected. Your convergence scores are spiking well ahead of baseline. You’re already presenting signs of full-spectrum neural and somatic reciprocity.”
You blink. “Somatic?”
Yen nods. “Body-based responses. Sympathetic systems syncing. Neurochemical fluctuations. Endocrine bleed.”
You just stare.
Bucky crosses his arms. “Translation?”
“You’re not just feeling each other’s moods anymore,” Yen says. “You’re reacting to each other’s hormones.”
You freeze.
“So this…?” you ask, gesturing vaguely to your whole overheated, vibrating situation.
She nods. “Elevated oxytocin, dopamine, serotonin—both of you. You’re experiencing mutual physiological… arousal.”
You swear under your breath. Bucky exhales through his nose, sharp.
Yen scrolls. “This is accelerating. You may experience projection next. Sensory cross-talk. Physical feedback from imagined stimuli.”
You and Bucky don’t move.
“You mean—” you start.
“Yes,” she says. “If one of you starts thinking about something… the other might feel it.”
You shut your eyes. Hard. Bucky shifts.
Yen closes the tablet. “We’re working on a counter-agent. In the meantime—stay calm. Avoid escalation. Try not to, y’know, spiral.”
She gives you both a tight smile that’s not a smile and ducks out the door.
The moment it hisses shut, silence slams back into place. You don’t look at him. He doesn’t look at you. But you feel each other. Your blood still buzzes, warm and quick, like something is sparking just under the surface.
“I need a cold shower,” you mutter.
“If you’re feeling what I’m feeling,” he says, voice low and tight, “that’s not gonna help.”
Neither of you laughs. Because it’s not funny anymore.
You don’t move and neither does he. You stay on opposite cots, both too still, both too aware. You can feel the bond buzzing like a live wire behind your ribs—no longer subtle, no longer background noise.
Not just his mood. Not just tension or restraint. His thoughts. Vague, half-formed shapes brushing up against your mind like fogged glass. You don’t get detail, not really—but there’s pressure behind it. Focus. Heat.
You swallow. Hard.
He shifts again, one leg stretching out, and your eyes flick to the motion without meaning to. Just his hand. Just his thigh. Just some insane amount of muscle in a pair of extremely not regulation sweatpants. And that’s when it hits you. A spike of awareness.
Low. Sharp. Direct.
Not yours. Yours now, but not originally.
Your breath stutters. Because that wasn’t your thought. That was his. You close your eyes, but it doesn’t help.
Now you can feel it more clearly: the way his thoughts catch on your bare legs, on your neck, on the way you just bit your bottom lip without realizing it.
The image forms before you can stop it. Your body reacting to his body. His gaze. His mind. A flash of heat coils low in your stomach. You shift suddenly. Sharp, fast, like that might reset something. It doesn’t.
He feels the shift in you. You know he does. You feel his whole body tense in response. The link thrums, nearly audible in your skull.
“Stop,” you whisper, breath catching.
“I didn’t mean to,” he says, voice hoarse.
You press your palm to your sternum. It’s like trying to press out a heartbeat that isn’t even yours.
“I can feel it when you look at me like that,” you mutter.
“I’m trying not to,” he says through gritted teeth.
“Well, try harder,” you snap—but it’s shaky, breathless.
Your thighs press together unconsciously. And that, he feels. He lets out a breath—low, ragged, like it hurts to hold it.
“Don’t do that,” he says.
“Don’t what?” you snap, voice high and tight.
“That. The thing with your legs.”
You go still. And the heat spikes. The thought now forming in your head is yours. It’s real. Immediate. Something to do with him between your knees, his hands on your hips, his mouth at your throat. The sound he’d make if you pulled his shirt off. The look in his eyes when—
He jerks upright like he’s been electrocuted.
“Jesus Christ,” he mutters, scrubbing a hand over his face.
You slap a hand over your own mouth, mortified. “I didn’t mean to think that.”
“I know,” he growls.
And still—your body pulses. That awful, exquisite feedback loop. Want ricocheting back and forth until you don’t know whose it was to begin with.
You drag your blanket up like its armor. “We can’t do this.”
“No,” he agrees immediately. “We can’t.”
You lock eyes. And don’t look away.
The silence that follows is different now. Charged. Taut. It’s not that the attraction is new. It’s that there’s nowhere left to hide it. No denial. No wall. Just each other. You lie back slowly, exhaling through your nose. Trying to calm your heart. Trying not to think of him. It doesn’t work.
Bucky’s breathing is heavier now. Not dramatic—but deeper. Controlled. You feel it against your own skin. You know—you know—he’s thinking about you too. But neither of you moves. Not yet.
Your heart won’t settle. It keeps pushing against your ribs like it wants to say something first. And then, before you can stop yourself:
“You drive me insane.” The words hang there. Blunt. True.
Bucky shifts slightly on his cot, but doesn’t speak.
“Not in the way you’re thinking, but okay—in that way too.” You pull the blanket tighter around you, trying to hold your voice steady. “You’re cold. Condescending. You don’t say anything unless it’s to poke a hole in something I’ve spent months building.”
His mouth twitches. “You’re a scientist who’s not used to people poking holes?”
“I’m not used to people doing it like you.” You glare at the ceiling. “You just—show up. And stare. And judge. And then disappear before I can even argue back.”
He exhales through his nose. “And you like arguing.”
“That’s not the point.”
“It feels like the point.”
You turn your head and look at him. “You didn’t even stay for the full hearing. Just blew it up and walked out.”
He meets your eyes. “Didn’t need to.”
Your chest tightens. “God. You’re impossible.”
There’s a long pause.
And then he says, quieter: “You were right, though. About the link. About what it could be.”
You blink.
“I didn’t go to that hearing to get in your way,” he says. “I went because what you said scared the hell out of me.”
“Right,” you mutter. “Thanks.”
He shakes his head. “No. I mean—it was good. You were right. You had every angle covered. You didn’t flinch. And the more I thought about it afterward…”
His eyes lift to yours.
“About you.”
Your stomach flips.
He leans forward slightly, elbows on his knees. “So when Val mentioned they needed an internal breach detail at the site—”
“You asked for this assignment,” you state, stunned.
He nods once. “Yeah.”
Silence stretches again—but now it’s different. There’s heat in it. Yes. But also something else. Something real.
Your head falls to your hands in defeat. “I don’t want to like you.”
“Yeah. That’s not working out too well for me either,” Bucky mutters lowly.
You peek up at him through your fingers. “This is a disaster.”
His mouth twitches. “A highly classified, emotionally compromising disaster.”
You stare at him. And he stares right back. Something hums between you, low and molten. Not as sharp as before—but deeper now. Grounded in knowing. Seeing. Feeling. Your eyes flick to his mouth. Just for a second. Just long enough to make it dangerous.
He sees it. Of course he does.
“Don’t,” he says softly.
“Don’t what?”
“That.”
You blink, innocent. “Look at you?”
“Look at me like that.”
You tilt your head, heart pounding. “Like what?”
“Like you want to see what else I’m hiding under these very official sweatpants.”
You suck in a sharp breath. A flush climbs up your neck before you can stop it.
“I wasn’t—”
“You were.”
You narrow your eyes. “You’re imagining things.”
“You’re broadcasting things,” he says, voice low and rough around the edges. “Loud.”
You shift on the cot and feel his breath hitch now.
It’s too much. Too close. And it’s not the bond anymore. Not entirely.
“You think about it too,” you say quietly.
He nods, once. “All the time now it seems.”
You don’t know if you want to slap him or kiss him—or let him press you back against the wall and do everything you’ve already imagined and more.
“So what the hell are we supposed to do about it?”
He smiles—just barely. It’s crooked. Dangerous.
“Nothing reckless.”
You lift a brow. “You’re telling me not to be impulsive?”
“I’m telling you not to do anything you’ll regret.”
You lean forward, like you’re settling into something casual. But you know what you’re doing. You can’t help yourself. You know he can feel it—your heat, your hunger, your restraint wrapped in silk.
“Then maybe stop giving me reasons to want to,” you murmur, voice light. Teasing.
His jaw ticks. His eyes darken. The silence that follows is sharp. Not a pause. Not a delay. A held breath.
You smile, small and smug, and stand up slowly—too slowly.
“Anyway,” you say, heading toward the small attached bathroom, “I’m going to take a cold shower and try to remember I’m a professional with several advanced degrees.”
You stop in the doorway. Look back over your shoulder, just enough to make sure he’s still watching.
He is.
“Try not to think about me while I’m in there,” you add, voice all fake innocence. And then you shut the door behind you.
—-
The water is cold. Brutally so. You step into the spray like it’s punishment—hands braced against the tile, jaw locked, breath held.
Because you’re still trying to wrap your head around the words that just tumbled out of your mouth a minute ago and why the fuck you even said them. The heat in your body needs to burn off or be drowned, and freezing water feels like your last rational defense.
It doesn’t work.
You gasp as it hits your skin—tight, cutting, and sharp. Your nipples pebble instantly. Your muscles tighten. But the cold doesn’t pull you out of it. It sharpenes it.
Every drop feels like a shock, like a wire pulled taut under your skin. Your thighs clench. Your breath trembles. Because Bucky is still out there.
And you can still feel him. Not with your hands. Not with your eyes. But with your mind. Your body. The thread still connects you. Hot under the cold. Deep under the logic. It pulses low in your belly, electric and alive. Dragging your thoughts right back to him.
You try to redirect—try to count the tiles on the wall, name the amino acids in a protein chain, recite your grant proposal backwards.
But your body betrays you. Your hips rock, searching for friction that doesn’t exist. Your hand drags down your chest without permission, sliding over wet skin, slick nipples, the curve of your stomach.
And suddenly he’s there. Not really. Not consciously. But you feel him. Watching. Wanting.
And worse—you want him to.
You bite your lip, hard. Try to shut it down. But your hand keeps moving. Between your thighs now. Water trailing down your skin like a thousand fingertips. The ache blooming sharp and impossible. You press your palm to yourself, just for a moment. Just to quiet it.
But something flares like it’s hungry too.
Your legs almost buckle. Shit. Shit. He felt that. You pant against the tile, eyes squeezed shut.
You can feel his attention spike like a spotlight behind your eyes—his breath, his pulse, the jagged edge of his restraint grinding against yours. You try to pull back. You try. But now you’re imagining it.
The wall behind you pressing into your shoulder blades. His mouth dragging heat up your neck. One hand on your hip—no, both hands. One flesh, one metal, holding you still while he whispers how much he’s been thinking about this.
How he knew you were going to touch yourself in the shower. How he wanted to be the reason you couldn’t help it.
Your breath hitches. A whimper escapes you. Just a sound, high and desperate and real. A surge.
The sensation that hits you is dizzying—like your nerves are suddenly on fire, like your own want is being echoed back tenfold.
You slap the water off fast, heart hammering. Your skin prickles as the cold air licks over it. You lean your forehead against the tile, panting. You’re shaking. Not from the cold. Not from fear. From restraint. From everything you didn’t let yourself do. And everything you know he felt anyway.
You press your hands over your face.
“Fuck.”
You stay like that for a long moment. Trying to breathe. Trying to pull yourself back into your body. Into the present. But even now, with the water off and your hands gripping the edge of the sink, you can feel the bond pulsing low behind your navel like it’s waiting. Like he’s waiting. And worst of all— You’re thinking about opening the door.
You want to know if he’s sitting there as wrecked as you are.
But you don’t yet. You reach for the towel. Wipe your face. Pull it tight around your body like it might hold you together. And you promise yourself you’ll be calm when you step back out there.
You wait a full minute before stepping out of the bathroom. You make sure your skin is mostly dry, your breathing sort of steady, and your towel tightly secured like a barrier that might still mean something. You open the door like you’re composed. You’re not. But it doesn’t matter.
Because the second you step into the room, you know. Bucky’s posture is wrecked. No more monk-like stillness. No more composed soldier routine. He’s pacing. Shoulders tense. Shirt clinging to him in places like he’s been sweating. His jaw is tight. His hands—both of them—are curled into fists like he’s holding back from breaking something. Or doing something.
His head snaps up the second he sees you. And then—he stops moving altogether. Freezes.
You feel it before he says a word: the punch of arousal, the crash of restraint, the friction of denial and desire grinding together behind his ribs like a blade.
His eyes sweep over you. Just once. Slowly.
The towel. The water still glistening along your collarbone. The flush on your cheeks that has nothing to do with temperature.
You feel his restraint falter—just for a breath—and it slams into your chest like a jolt of electricity.
“You…” he says, then stops. Swallows. His voice is hoarse. “That wasn’t fair.”
You blink, playing innocent. “What wasn’t?”
He steps forward once. Not touching. Not even close. But the bond pulls at you like gravity.
“You know what,” he says, voice low. “You know exactly what.”
Your heart pounds.
“So you felt that,” you say lightly, trying not to lose your footing on the slick edge of this moment.
He lets out a sharp breath. “You think I somehow didn’t feel that?”
The tension crackles between you—raw and thick and already past the point of pretending.
“I tried to shut it down,” you murmur.
He laughs. Just once. Bitter and breathless. “Yeah, I could tell ya tried really hard, sweetheart.”
You grip the edge of the towel a little tighter. “So what, you just sat there and…?”
His gaze drops to your mouth. And stays there.
You feel the burn of it behind your knees, in the pit of your stomach, deep between your thighs where the ache hasn’t fully gone away.
Your voice comes out smaller than you mean for it to. “And?”
His jaw clenches. His nostrils flare. You feel him fighting it again—fighting you. But he doesn’t lie.
“I wanted to come in there.”
The breath leaves your lungs in a shudder.
“I wanted to touch you,” he says, stepping closer. His voice drops lower. “Everywhere you were touching yourself.”
You swallow hard.
“But I didn’t,” he adds roughly.
You look up at him. “Why?”
His eyes search yours. Not angry. Not even pleading. Just—holding back.
“Because if I had…” He exhales, jaw tight. “I wouldn’t have stopped.”
The silence that follows isn’t empty. Your body hums. Your fingers dig into the towel like it’s the last shield between you and a decision you might not be ready to unmake. And all you can do is whisper:
“…Okay.”
He doesn’t move. Doesn’t touch you. But something shifts in his posture—like he’s caught between instinct and decision, body wired forward even as his mind throws up a stop sign.
You see it all happen. The way his eyes flick to your mouth. The way his breaths become deeper. The way every muscle in him says yes while the rest of him fights to say no.
And then, finally—he steps back. One short, sharp step. Like distance will save either of you.
“Shit,” he mutters, dragging a hand through his hair. “We can’t.”
Your heart punches your ribs. “Why not?”
He doesn’t look at you right away. Just shakes his head, pacing once, hands flexing.
“You just came out of the shower like that, thinking what you were thinking, and I—” He stops. “I felt everything. You know that, right?” he repeats yet again.
“I didn’t ask you to.”
“I know. And that’s the fucking problem.”
You blink. “So what, now you’re mad about it?”
“No,” he snaps. “I’m not mad. I’m trying not to lose my goddamn mind.”
You fold your arms over the towel. “You think this is easy for me?”
“I think our minds are so fried that we can’t tell what’s ours and what’s this,” he bites, gesturing between you two. “And if I touch you right now, I don’t know whose choice I’m making. Yours, mine, or the damn compound’s.”
That stops you. Because he’s right. Because you don’t even know anymore.
His voice drops. Still rough. Still wrecked.
“I’m not gonna take advantage of something that’s most likely not real. Not with you.”
You shift your weight, heartbeat hammering. You want to argue. You want to push. But part of you respects the hell out of it. So you just nod once. Clipped.
“Fine.”
His mouth twitches. Not quite a smile. More like restraint in physical form.
“Fine.”
And that’s it. You don’t close the distance. You don’t say anything else. You just turn away, heart still racing, skin still hot, towel still clutched like armor, and try like hell to pretend your body isn’t already halfway to betraying you again.
—-
Just perfect. Now there’s only a few more hours of pretending you’re not fully horny for the government-assigned menace in the corner.
You’re sitting cross-legged on the cot, earbuds in, blasting white noise loud enough to drown out your own thoughts—and hopefully his. It doesn’t work.
You can still feel him pacing. The slow, deliberate kind, like he’s working something out of his system. Like he’s hunting a problem he can’t solve. You can feel the heat of his attention every time your shirt rides up when you stretch. Every time you shift just a little too far sideways and your thigh brushes bare against cool air.
Every time your breath catches and his does, too. You know what he’s thinking. Or trying not to think.
So you decide to mess with him.
You think louder—sweet and smug, like you’re painting it across the bond on purpose: That shirt looks really good on you, soldier.
He flinches. Physically. And then stops pacing.
You smirk, tug the hem of your shirt down with exaggerated innocence. Small victories.
But then he drops to the floor and starts doing pushups. Which is so not fair.
You glance over and immediately regret it. His shirt stretches across his back like it’s apologizing to no one. Sweat clings at the collar. His arms flex, contract, flex again—slow and steady. Every controlled breath pushes heat through the bond.
You are trying to read a report. You are actively attempting productivity. But it’s hard when every line blurs around the mental image of his hands braced on either side of your head. You close the file. Try again.
He switches to pull-ups on an overhead bar. You throw your tablet at the wall.
“You’re doing that on purpose.”
He doesn’t stop. “Doing what?”
“Weaponizing your arms.”
His mouth twitches. “Maybe I’m just trying to stay in shape.”
You scowl. “This is psychological warfare.”
“You started it.”
You grab a pillow and launch it at his head. He dodges without breaking rhythm.
“Unbelievable.”
Later, you fall asleep. Not on purpose. Just long enough for your body to betray you. The dream is hot. Too hot. Lips at your throat, a mouth on your hipbone, hands everywhere you shouldn’t want them. You wake up gasping, sweat pooling at the base of your spine.
And he’s watching you. Sitting in the corner, arms folded, expression like stone. Except for his eyes. His eyes are a slow burn. He doesn’t say anything. But you feel it. The echo of your dream still pinging between you. Not graphic—just emotional residue. A leftover ache.
And maybe the worst part is: you feel his too.
The loneliness under it. The way he felt it right along with you. The part of him that wanted it to be real. To be his hands. His mouth. His weight on top of you instead of the memory of a shared hallucination. You shift on the cot, heart still pounding.
“Did you…?” you ask.
He doesn’t move. Just nods once. “Yeah.”
You pull your knees to your chest and try not to shake.
Five hours in, you almost lose it.
You’re pretending to read again. You’re biting the inside of your cheek to keep your breathing steady. He’s sitting on the other cot now, towel around his neck, shirt wrung out and tossed somewhere in the corner like it wronged him personally. His skin is flushed. His forearms are braced on his knees. His head is tipped back slightly.
You can feel it through the bond—he’s trying not to think about how your skin looked glistening after the shower. Trying not to remember the sound you made. You try to be good. You really do. But then you snap.
“You have to stop thinking about my mouth.”
You don’t even look up. You don’t have to. There’s a long pause.
“I’m not,” he says.
You glance over. He’s biting his lip. You both groan.
He covers his face with one hand. “Okay, you have to stop doing the thing with your tongue.”
“What thing?”
He waves a hand vaguely. “That thing you do when you’re concentrating. You lick your bottom lip slowly like you’re trying to kill me.”
You throw a blanket at him. He catches it with a smug little grin, but you feel the way his chest tightens under it. The way he’s fighting not to lean into the tether—into the pull of you.
You flop onto your cot face-first. “This is the worst horny hostage situation I’ve ever been in.”
“Been in many?”
You scream a muffled “FUCK” into the mattress.
His chuckle is low. Rough. Warm.
It rolls down your spine like a confession you weren’t ready to hear. And when your hand slips between your thighs a minute later, just to relieve the pressure, just to breathe, you feel his breath hitch in your mind.
“Stop.” His voice cuts through the air, hoarse. Strained. Not angry—pleading.
You freeze. But don’t pull away.
“I can’t,” you whisper.
A pause. Heavy. Loaded.
“You can.”
You roll your head toward him, half-lidded, flushed, and exhale: “Then say it.”
He doesn’t answer.
“Tell me not to touch myself,” you say. “But say it like you mean it.”
You feel his restraint buckle. The desire choking the back of his throat. You move your hand again, slow, under the blanket. The wet slide of your fingers deliberate.
“You already know what I’m thinking,” he grits out.
“Say it anyway.”
He’s still across the room, sitting rigid on the cot, fists clenched on his knees like it’s the only way to stop himself from moving.
You close your eyes and moan—quiet, bitten-off. You can’t help it.
And that’s when it breaks him.
“God,” he growls. “You don’t know what you’re doing to me.”
“I have some idea,” you tease back and squeeze your eyes shut.
And in your mind, you can feel a switch flip in his.
There’s a sudden metallic crack—a sharp, violent sound that echoes off the walls. Your eyes fly open. The security camera in the corner is shattered—glass fractured, wires exposed, the red recording light extinguished. His chest is heaving, fists clenched like he didn’t even think before moving.
“I want to be over there,” he rushes out hoarsely. “I want to rip that sheet off and watch you fall apart for me.”
Your breath stops but he keeps going, like his tongue is unable to stop.
“I want your legs open. Want your fingers soaked because you were thinking about my mouth.”
He rises, takes one step forward, then stops himself—grabbing the edge of the table like it might anchor him. You whimper.
“I’d put my hand between your thighs,” he says, lower now. Rougher. “Press my fingers into you until you begged me to fuck you.”
Your mind hums, white hot. You feel it in your ribs, your spine, your throat.
“You’d take it, wouldn’t you?” he murmurs. “All of it. My fingers, my cock—”
You cry out softly, thighs twitching, chasing friction.
“I’d have your back arched and your hands in my hair and you wouldn’t even be able to say my name without sobbing.”
You grind down harder now, pulse pounding in your ears. You feel him feeling you—his hips twitching, cock hard and aching, brain flooded with everything you’re giving him.
“Touch your clit,” he commands.
You do. Gasping. The pleasure punches through your body like a current.
“Just like that,” he says, voice shaking. “Rub slow. You don’t need to come yet. I want to hear you say what you want.”
“You already know,” you choke out.
“Tell me, doll,” he says again, dark, wanting. “Tell me how wet you are.”
You almost sob. “So wet—Jesus—Bucky—”
“That’s it,” he says. “Let me hear it. I want every filthy sound you’ve got.”
You move faster, breath catching, the heat coiling tight and hard and close.
“I’d eat you out so slowly you’d scream. Then fuck you with my fingers until you begged for more. You want that?”
“Yes.”
“You want my cock?”
“Yes.”
“You want me to come in you, fill you, make you feel it for hours?”
Your whole body locks—back arching, legs tightening—
And you shatter.
White-hot pleasure rips through you, shattering like glass behind your ribs—louder and deeper than anything you’ve ever felt. It’s not just the orgasm. It’s also his body responding to yours, his want echoing through every nerve ending like a second heartbeat.
You can feel what you’re doing to him. The hunger. The ache. The way his restraint unravels with every sound you make, every twitch of your fingers.
The bond lights up like an explosion—flooding both of you. There’s no separation. No inside or outside. Just youandhimyouandhimyouandhim in one long, gasping pulse of release.
His groan is feral. Raw. Wrecked. You’re still trembling when you open your eyes. And he’s right there.
Closer than he was. Right in front of you. Breathing hard, eyes dark, hands clenched like it took everything in him not to touch you. Not to throw himself into the wreckage and keep going.
He’s about to move. About to drop to his knees. About to make good on every filthy promise he just breathed into your bones—
Then a chime sounds at the door.
You both freeze. A beat. Then Dr. Yen’s voice comes crisply over the intercom.
“Just a heads up—I’ll be entering the room in ten seconds for dampener prep. Try to look less… elevated.”
You let out a strangled noise and yank the blanket over your face, legs still shaking.
The door hisses open. Light spills in. Footsteps. Dr. Yen walks in like she didn’t just catch you mid-meltdown.
“Good evening,” she says, clipboard in hand, eyes respectfully trained downward. “Time for neural dampener administration.”
Bucky turns away like he’s been gut-punched. You lie there in silence, half-covered, half-exposed, pulse still thundering.
Dr. Yen pauses. Looks up.
“I’m going to pretend I didn’t just watch both your biometric readings spike like you ran a marathon while getting tased.”
You groan louder.
She sighs. “I’ll return in ten minutes with the equipment. Maybe try some breathing exercises.”
She turns and walks out, boots clicking.
The door shuts, and the silence she leaves behind could crush a mountain. You’re both wrecked. Glowing. Silent. Not comfortable. Not even heavy. But pressurized. You shift on the cot. Pick at the edge of the blanket, like you’re unthreading a thought. You cough once. Clear your throat.
“So…” you say. Then instantly regret it.
Bucky doesn’t look up from where he’s now sitting, arms braced, jaw tight. His eyes are fixed on some invisible point across the room.
You try again, softer this time. “That was… intense.” Still nothing.
You roll your eyes at yourself. “God, sorry. That sounded like the end of a bad first date.”
Finally, his voice cuts through the silence. Low. Flat.
“I shouldn’t have said what I said.”
You blink. “What, the part where you told me everything you wanted to do to me while I was—?”
He exhales sharply. “Don’t.”
You pause. Watch him. “Why?”
“Because it wasn’t fair,” he mutters. “I didn’t have to make it worse.”
“You didn’t make it worse.”
He glances at you. Briefly.
And you feel it—what he won’t say. The guilt. The self-loathing. The fear that he wanted it more than he should’ve, and the shame that he let himself say so.
You try to keep your voice light. “It hasn’t been all bad, you know. Feeling like this.”
Something flickers in him—shame, maybe. Sadness. But it’s gone before you can name it.
“It’s not real,” he says. “You know that.”
You shift again. “You think I can’t tell the difference?”
“I don’t know, Doc. But you should. You wrote the fucking book on it!” He’s not angry. Just tired.
“You’re reacting to a synthetic neurochemical tether.” He says it like he’s quoting a file. “It wires your empathy straight into mine and floods your body with cross-sensory feedback. Of course it feels like something.”
“Yeah,” you say. “It feels like you. Like… warm static. I didn’t think I’d get used to it, but I have.”
His jaw clenches.
Something bracing inside him tickles through your bones. Like he’s locking the door before you even finish knocking.
You hesitate, before adding, carefully, “Maybe that’s not so terrible.”
He turns toward you now, finally, and there’s something in his face—tired, closed off, already half gone.
“Look,” he sighs. “In a few hours, you’re going to feel normal again. This’ll wear off, we’ll detox. And you’ll go back to thinking I’m a prick.”
You stare at him. “Is that really what you think I’m going to walk away with?”
“It’s what I’ll walk away with,” he says.
How certain he is bounces back at you. The way he’s already convinced himself this was a mistake. Not just a misstep, but a flaw in his wiring. Something he’s trying to undo before it’s too late and your resolve starts to melt.
His voice softens, but not in a comforting way. In that quiet, beaten-down way that says he’s already written the ending and doesn’t want to hear another version.
“I crossed a line,” he says. “And you’re going to wake up tomorrow and wish I hadn’t.”
You feel it. In your ribs, your throat, your teeth. Not the tension from before—but a dull, hollow echo of finality. He believes this.
You don’t answer. There’s nothing left to say that won’t bounce off the wall he’s putting back up. You nod once. Slowly. Then lie back on the cot and turn your face to the wall. The link hums faintly behind your ribs—tender, uncertain. But you don’t follow it. You just let the silence settle between you again. Thicker than before. Colder. Final.
—
You’re sitting across from him when the door opens. Same cots. Same sterile walls. Same ten feet of silence between you. You haven’t looked at him but you still feel him linked. Quiet, almost gentle now. Like it knows it’s dying. A breath too deep. A flicker of guilt. A spike of regret. It doesn’t matter that he won’t meet your eyes.
Dr. Yen steps into the room with her tablet in one hand and a hard-sided case in the other. She’s in scrubs this time. Hair tied back. Movements clipped and practiced.
You don’t speak. Neither does he.
The case opens with a soft click. Two injectors inside, small and sleek. She pulls one out and checks the dosage.
“Once administered, the dampener will suppress all synthetic limbic resonance. You’ll feel a shift within thirty seconds. Disassociation. Numbness. Maybe a little nausea.”
You exhale through your nose.
“And then?”
She meets your eyes. “Then the link breaks.”
You nod. She walks to you first.
“Roll up your sleeve,” she says gently.
You do. The motion feels surreal—like you’re watching yourself from somewhere outside your body. She presses the injector to the soft skin inside your elbow.
You take a breath, hold it. Click. A whisper of compressed air. Cold floods your arm instantly—icy, clinical, creeping up your bicep like frostbite. It spreads into your shoulder, your neck, your spine.
And then—
Something inside you flickers. The hum. The warmth. Him. It begins to fade. Not all at once. It drains. Like light slipping out of a room. Like someone slowly turning the volume knob on a song you didn’t know you’d memorized. You feel the difference before you can process it. Your thoughts stop echoing. Your heartbeat feels… alone.
Bucky says nothing when it’s his turn. He doesn’t ask what it’ll feel like. He doesn’t hesitate. Just rolls up his sleeve, still pitched forward. Dr. Yen administers his dose with quiet efficiency. Click. Hiss. And then it’s quiet again. Except it’s not the same.
Because now, the silence is dead. No hum. No pulse. No emotional feedback or flicker of awareness. No him. He’s still there, physically. Still sitting across from you. Still wearing the same black T-shirt, the same unreadable expression. But you can’t feel him anymore. And the absence hits harder than you expect.
Dr. Yen checks the readings on her tablet. Taps a few buttons. Then nods.
“That’s it,” she says. “Connection is terminated.”
You nod, slowly. There’s a ringing in your ears that wasn’t there before.
Yen doesn’t linger. She packs up and walks out without another word. The door hisses shut behind her. And that’s it. It’s over.
You look at him. He’s not looking at you. There’s no warmth where your chest used to light up every time he almost met your gaze. Now it’s just empty space. You wait. A beat. Two.
He finally stands. Moves like he’s stiff. Or maybe he’s just trying to control the way his body reacts now that you can’t feel it.
His eyes flick toward you, just once. And then away.
At the door, hand hovering near the panel, he pauses. Just long enough to let hope get in one last swing.
“You’ll feel like yourself again soon.”
You blink. Straighten slightly. But before you can respond, he’s already gone. The door shuts behind him. And this time, you feel nothing at all.
—
Two weeks later and you definitely don’t feel like yourself again. Everyone said you would. That the dampener would work, that your neural pathways would recalibrate, that within a few days you’d forget what it felt like to share your mind with someone else.
They were wrong. The silence is worse than the bond ever was.
It isn’t just quiet—it’s hollow. There are no phantom thoughts, no flickers of static behind your ribs. No heat curling in your stomach when someone else walks in the room. You’re not buzzing anymore. You’re just… still.
You’ve tried to distract yourself. Buried yourself in lab reports. Filed updates. Pretended the whole thing was a chemical anomaly that didn’t matter.
You haven’t heard from him. You haven’t reached out, either.
Mostly because you’re not sure what you’d say—and partly because the last time you saw him, he all but told you that everything you felt was fake. You were still deciding whether to be mad or hurt when Valentina Allegra de Fontaine’s name lit up your encrypted line.
And now here you are. Walking into the new Avengers Tower for a mandatory debriefing.
You strut through the sleek white corridor with polished concrete floors, reinforced glass walls, surveillance cameras tucked into every corner. A place designed to look like freedom and security, while quietly reminding everyone who’s in charge. And Val’s definitely in charge.
You press your thumb to the biometric reader. The door clicks open. And then you’re in the room.
Seven chairs. One long table. Your team’s already there—Dr. Yen, Dr. Deenan, and Dr. Morales, seated stiffly with laptops open and half-expressed concern on their faces. You nod to them, then catch sight of the others.
The New Avengers. Ava’s leaning back with her boots up on the chair next to her, scanning her phone like she’d rather be anywhere else. Yelena twirls a pen in her fingers while whispering something to Bob, who stifles a laugh. Alexei ie eating something from a foil pouch. John Walker’s in full uniform, arms crossed, eyes narrowed like he’s waiting to be pissed off.
And at the head of the table—Valentina Allegra de Fontaine. She smiles when she sees you. It doesn’t reach her eyes.
“Doctor,” she purrs. “Right on time. We were just getting to the fun part.”
You arch an eyebrow. “I didn’t realize this was a party.”
Val gestures to the empty seat across from her. “Take a load off.”
You sit. The chair’s cold. So is the room.
She taps her tablet, and the wall monitor comes to life—schematics, biofeedback logs, simulated overlays of two bodies in sync.
Yours. And his. Your heart gives a tiny, involuntary jolt.
“We’ve reviewed your data,” Val says. “The bonding agent was more successful than projected. Real-time empathic mirroring. Linked adrenaline response. Even synchronized aggression modulation. Fascinating.”
You glance at your team. No one meets your eye.
“Fascinating doesn’t mean safe,” you say.
“No,” Val agrees, tapping to the next slide, “but it does mean viable.”
Your stomach drops.
She keeps going. “We’ve had early conversations with R&D. We think we can refine it. Pull the limbic entanglement into tighter constraints. Give our agents an edge in the field. Total tactical unity. Real-time mental synchronicity in squads of two to five. Imagine it.”
“I’d rather not,” you say flatly.
Val tilts her head. “That’s surprising. You invented it.”
You cross your arms. “I invented a theory. Not a weapon. That compound was never designed for field ops. It was meant to test artificial empathy synthesis in high-stress environments. I never signed off on deployment.”
“You didn’t have to,” she replies, sweet as poison. “You tested it. That’s what matters.”
Your jaw tightens. “What do you want from me?”
Val smiles.
“I want you to stabilize it.”
The room goes quiet.
You don’t answer.
Because your fingers have curled into fists under the table, and the muscle in your jaw is working too hard.
Val’s smile sharpens. “Don’t make that face. You’re not the first brilliant mind to regret what they’ve built. That’s why we’ve brought in oversight.”
You glance around the table, pulse ticking higher. “This is oversight?”
Val gestures lazily toward the door. “Speak of the devil.”
It opens. He walks in. Bucky.
Same stride. Same black tactical pants. Same expression that says he’d rather be anywhere else. But not quite the same. Tighter. Like something inside him is coiled and hasn’t uncoiled since the dampener. You sit straighter without meaning to. He doesn’t look at you. Just nods to the room like it’s a formality. Takes the seat across the table from you, beside Ava, who gives him a quick look. You can feel the space between you stretch like a fault line.
Val keeps going, too casual.
“As most of you know, Sergeant Barnes was one of the two bonded during the prototype incident.”
No one speaks. Ava tilts her head, intrigued. Alexei is still chewing. John looks like he’s waiting to laugh. Bob’s the only one scribbling anything down.
Val turns toward Bucky, her voice silk-wrapped steel. “You submitted a full statement. Care to summarize for the room?”
He doesn’t move. Doesn’t blink.
“It’s not stable.”
“Define ‘not stable.’”
He looks directly at her now. “There’s no shut-off switch.”
Val smiles like she’s waiting for that. “The dampener worked.”
“Eventually.”
You feel a tug in your chest—but not from the bond. Just memory. Just him.
Val leans back. “Let’s talk about the psychological aftermath.”
You freeze. So does he.
“I read your report,” Val continues. “There were some… interesting observations. About your partner.”
You glance at him, breath catching. He doesn’t speak. Val does.
“‘Responsive. Precise. Too quick to hide discomfort behind sarcasm. Wants to be in control but softens under pressure. Harder to ignore than expected.’”
You stare at her. Then at him. He’s not meeting your eyes. His jaw is tight.
Val keeps reading, but her eyes are on you. “‘I think she felt it too. I think we both wanted it to stop, and neither of us wanted it to stop.’”
The room is silent. No one breathes.
She closes the file with a tap and smiles. “Romantic. Almost poetic.”
Bucky shifts in his chair. “That wasn’t meant for discussion.”
Val keeps going, tapping her tablet again. “Of course, Sergeant Barnes wasn’t the only one who filed a report.”
Your eyes narrow. She scrolls casually. “Let’s see here…”
Your team shifts awkwardly. Ava raises an brow. Walker leans back, already skeptical.
“Ah—found it,” Val says, lips twitching. “‘Post-dampener vitals returned to pre-bond baseline within 48 hours. No lingering physical effects. Subject reports successful cognitive decoupling.’” She glances at you. “Very clinical so far.”
You say nothing. Your throat is tight.
Val continues reading, voice just loud enough to carry. “‘Subject notes difficulty adjusting to emotional silence. Persistent phantom resonance. Reports occasional insomnia, sensory misfires, and…’” She slows. “‘…a recurring sense of loss with no identifiable origin.’”
You feel the breath leave your lungs.
Val looks up, smile gone. Her tone shifts—mocking, just slightly. “‘It’s strange. I should be relieved to have myself back. But some part of me feels like it’s still looking for him.’”
The silence in the room shifts. Heavy. Sharp. Bucky turns to look at you. Not subtly. Not just a glance. He looks at you like you’ve just said something dangerous. Like you’ve handed him a key he didn’t know he was allowed to touch.
You look back. And for the first time since the bond broke—you really see him seeing you.
But then his expression shutters. Clean. Cold. Gone. Like he’s pulled the wall back up in one brutal breath.
Val closes the file with a flick of her fingers.
“Well. This answers my question. If it worked that fast on two unsuspecting individuals—one emotionally distant, the other the one who wrote the damn rules about boundaries—what do we think it’ll do to a trained field team under fire?”
You exhale through your nose. “You’re not trying to refine it. You’re trying to weaponize it.”
Val shrugs. “Tomato, tomahto.”
Your pulse spikes. “You want to use forced bonding as a tactical tool. You want soldiers to feel each other die in real time, feel pain that isn’t theirs, emotions that aren’t theirs—”
“They’ll be trained.”
“They’ll be broken.”
Now the room shifts. Ava sits forward. Yelena’s brow lifts. Even Walker glances sideways at Val.
Val only smiles. “Everyone breaks differently, doctor. That’s the point.”
You can’t help it. You turn to Bucky. He’s looking down. Still silent. Still locked. But you know that posture. You’ve felt it. The way he retreats. The way he steels himself before walking away.
Val’s voice cuts back in. “Final reports are due in forty-eight hours. Including yours, Doctor. Whether you cooperate or not, this is moving forward.”
You don’t answer. She rises. The others begin to move.
But Bucky doesn’t. Not until the last chair scrapes back. Then he stands. And walks out without looking back. This time, you don’t hesitate.
You catch him in the hallway just outside the briefing room.
“Barnes.”
He keeps walking, boots steady on the polished floor like you’re not behind him, like he didn’t just bolt from a public dissection of your most private thoughts. You pick up the pace.
“I said—”
“Don’t,” he mutters without turning. “Not here.”
You follow anyway. Right past the security checkpoint. Into the common area of the residential wing.
Then you hear them. Voices behind you—low, not subtle. Bob. Alexei. You’d bet money Walker’s loitering just out of view, arms crossed and dying for gossip.
“Wow,” Yelena says from behind the coffee bar. “Very dramatic storm-off. Ten out of ten.”
Bucky still doesn’t stop. You catch up beside him, matching his pace. “You’re seriously going to act like none of that meant anything?”
“I’m not doing this in front of an audience,” he snaps, still not looking at you.
You ignore it. “What did you think was going to happen? You walk away and I just go back to being a line item in your report?”
He reaches the end of the hallway. Stops. Jaw locked. Hands at his sides.
“I’m not doing this,” he says again, quieter now. Less sharp. More tired.
You hesitate. And then you say it—just low enough for him to really hear it.
“Bucky, please.”
His head turns. Slow. Measured. Like he didn’t expect you to use his name. Like it broke through something.
You stare up at him. One beat. Two. And then he grabs your wrist—not rough, not rushed—and pulls you with him through the nearest door.
His quarters. The lock clicks behind you. He doesn’t let go. You’re both breathing too hard for how little either of you has moved. His fingers tighten around your wrist.
“I don’t need a debrief,” he says flatly. “Whatever Val’s hoping you’ll get out of this—”
“Don’t do that,” you say.
His shoulders go rigid. “Do what.”
“Shut me out.”
He finally turns. And the look on his face makes your heart falter.
He’s not angry. He’s gutted.
“I told you, once this wore off—”
“I didn’t say it because of the link,” you snap. “I said it because it’s true.”
He shakes his head. “You think it’s true. Because it’s recent. Because you’re still sorting it out.”
“No,” you say. “I said it because I miss you. Because I can’t sleep. Because the silence feels worse than the noise ever did.”
He goes quiet. You take a step closer.
“And don’t tell me it’s not real. Don’t tell me it’s just feedback. I’ve been through every model of post-synthetic resonance in the literature. This isn’t detox.”
Bucky stares at you like he wants to believe you. Like he’s aching to. But the wall is still up. Tighter than ever.
“It doesn’t matter,” he says. “You’re going to walk out of here and get over it. And I’m going to remember everything I said. Everything I wanted. And wish I hadn’t said a goddamn word.”
That knocks the air out of you. You feel the urge to step back—but you don’t. You root yourself there.
“I’m not over it,” you say, quietly. “And I don’t want to be.”
He looks at you. Really looks. And something shifts in him. But he still doesn’t move. So you step closer. Not too close. Just enough to make it clear you’re not afraid of the space between you. Not anymore. You don’t touch him. Not yet.
“I’ve spent two weeks trying to shut you out of my head,” you murmur. “Pretending I didn’t miss you. That I wasn’t checking every hallway and every email, wondering if you’d say something.”
He exhales sharply through his nose and looks down.
“And when you didn’t,” you add, voice tighter now, “I told myself you were just being careful. That you were trying to do the right thing.”
A pause. Then, lower.
“But maybe it was just easier for you.”
That hits. You see it—right in his eyes. Still, he doesn’t speak. So you finish it.
“Either you felt what I felt or you didn’t,” you say, chin lifting. “But don’t stand there and act like it was just some side effect. Like all of it—everything between us—was just my body misfiring.”
You take a final step closer to him.
“I know who you are now—not just the version you show, not the file, not the soldier. You. I felt every part you tried to hide. And it only made me want you more. And if that was all fake, I don’t know what the hell is real anymore.”
That’s when he moves.
It’s not gentle. It’s not rehearsed. It’s like something inside him snaps, and before you can take another breath, his hands are in your hair, his mouth crashing against yours like he’s been holding back for years—not weeks.
You stumble into him with a gasp, grabbing the front of his shirt like you need it to stay standing. His kiss is rough, hungry, almost frantic—like he’s trying to erase the silence with his teeth.
He spins you, walks you backwards until your shoulders hit the door, and then he’s bracing one arm beside your head, the other sliding down to your hip like he needs to feel you, all of you, right now.
You kiss him back with everything you’ve been holding in. Anger. Frustration. Hunger. Something dangerously close to relief. He pulls back just long enough to look at you, lips swollen, breathing hard.
“You don’t know what you’re asking for,” he says, hoarse.
“Yes,” you whisper, dragging your fingers down the line of his stomach. “I do.”
His mouth reclaims yours. This time, the kiss is slower. Hungrier. Less desperation, more purpose. His tongue traces the shape of your lips, parting them before diving in. His hands move, rough and reverent. Skimming your jaw, down your neck, across your chest. They slide beneath your shirt, palms splayed wide like he’s trying to cover all of you at once, like he can’t decide what to touch first. You feel the heat of him through every inch of fabric, and it lights you up from the inside.
He hesitates Just a little. Like it costs him something to stop. A breath caught in his throat. Fingers curling into fists where they’d just been on your ribs. Everything is vibrating with want. No bond. No compound tether. Just this. Just him. And he’s shaking. Not visibly. But you feel it in his breath. In the way his hands flex when they grip your hips. Like he’s holding back with every ounce of control he has left.
“You sure?” he rasps, low and wrecked.
You nod. He doesn’t move. So you press your mouth to his ear.
“Bucky,” you whisper. “I’ve been sure since I looked you in the eye and told you not to think about sex.”
He exhales, a bit shaky, but lifts you, guiding you backward toward the bed. Walking you slow and blind, like he’s memorized every inch of you and he’s finally getting to touch what he learned.
You hit the mattress. He’s on you a second later, crowding you down with the weight of his body, the strength of his stare.
“Don’t move,” he murmurs, mouth brushing your cheek. “I want to see you.”
Your heart stutters as he starts to undress you. Slow at first, like he’s unwrapping something fragile. Fingers dragging over skin with intention. Mouth kissing every new inch he uncovers.
“You’re fuckin’ beautiful, sweetheart,” he murmurs. “You don’t even know what you do to me.”
You whimper, hands reaching, but he pins your wrists lightly to the bed.
“Let me,” he says. “You’ve had your hands on yourself enough, haven’t you?”
Your face burns but your thighs twitch. He clocks it.
“Oh, you liked that,” he murmurs, voice like velvet. “Liked making me feel it. Every fuckin’ second.”
“Bucky—”
“You wanna know what it did to me?” he asks, trailing his fingers down your stomach, your hip, your thigh. “The way you touched yourself? Knowing I couldn’t stop you. Couldn’t help you. Couldn’t taste you.”
Your breath hitches as his lips graze your inner thigh.
“I almost lost it, doll.”
He groans as he spreads you open, thumb teasing, mouth following. He’s slow at first. Too slow. Licking soft circles like he’s memorizing the shape of your pleasure.
And then he dives in.
Moans into you like it’s the best thing he’s ever tasted. Holds your thighs apart, firm and unrelenting, while his tongue works in perfect rhythm. Watching you. Murmuring praise between licks and gasps. Your hips twitch, a whimper slipping through your clenched teeth.
“Already?” he murmurs, breath hot against you. “You that close, sweetheart?”
You try to answer, but it’s useless.
“God, look at you,” he groans. “So fucking wet.”
You arch up in response, gasping.
“Needy little thing,” he laughs, brushing his fingers through your folds. “Bet this is all you’ve been thinking about the past two weeks, huh?”
He plunges a finger inside of you and curls, as do your toes while you rasp out.
“Bucky, please!”
“You gonna fall apart for me, doll?” he murmurs against you, the words so filthy and tender they almost make you cry. “I want it. Want to feel you shake. Want to taste every bit of it.”
He flicks his tongue in tight circles, then flattens it low and slow. Adding another finger to your weeping core. Your hips start to shake, lifting off the bed. He feels it and grips you tighter.
“Don’t fight it,” he gasps into you. “Don’t you fucking dare. That’s mine.”
He sucks hard—just once—and your vision whites out. You try to warn him. A gasp, a stuttered breath, a twist of your hips. But it’s already too late. You come with a cry, fists clutching the sheets, legs locked around his shoulders, everything inside you unraveling at once.
It’s too much. Too sharp. Too good. And he groans into you like he’s the one coming. You’re limp, gasping, still shaking—and he’s still there, mouth wet, fingers brushing your hip.
“Shit,” you breathe. “That was…”
He kisses the inside of your thigh. Then again, a little higher.
“You’re not done yet,” he says, voice thick with hunger. “Not even close.”
He keeps going, softer now—just enough to draw the aftershocks out of you, murmuring things you can barely hear over your own heartbeat.
“So perfect. So fuckin’ sweet”
You blink through the stars behind your eyes, chest rising in fast, uneven bursts.
“Bucky—”
He finally comes up for air, his eyes are darker with something deeper than just heat as his gaze locks on yours. And for a second, neither of you moves.
You’re still panting, still wrecked from his mouth and fingers, but there’s something in the way he looks at you now. Like he’s trying to memorize you, even as his restraint starts to crack again.
“Still with me, sweetheart?” he murmurs, voice hoarse.
You nod, breath caught in your throat.
“Good,” he says, fingers sliding up your sides. “Because I’m not done learning how you fall apart.”
You whine when he pulls away. But when his own shirt comes off, followed by the rest, your breath stutters—because even now, with the link broken, you’re still wrecked by your need for him.
Not like before. Not a shared mind or emotion. But like muscle memory. Like your skin knows him now. His mouth tilts up—barely a smile, more like relief bleeding through restraint.
Then he climbs your body like he owns it, skin dragging over skin. Not rushing. Savoring. Like he’s been starving for you and doesn’t want to miss a single fucking bite. His chest brushes yours—bare, flushed—and you both exhale hard, the contact so electric it knocks the air from your lungs.
You reach for him, aching, but he catches your wrists—not to stop you. To feel you. To anchor himself. His thumbs press into your palms, grounding hard.
“You still want this?” he murmurs.
You nod. But that’s not enough. Not for either of you.
“Yes,” you breathe. “I want you.”
He kisses you like he means to brand it into you, deep and claiming. His whole body comes down over yours, pinning you into the mattress with his weight like he’s trying to fuck the memory of him into your bones.
His hand trails down your side, over your hip, gripping your thigh with purpose. Holding you there, keeping you open for him.
“You feel that?” he whispers against your jaw, slowly dragging his cock against your sensitive heat. “That’s real. Not chemicals. Not the compound.”
You nod again, blinking up at him.
“I felt you before, doll,” he murmurs, pressing the head against your entrance. “But now? Now I get to have you.”
Then he pushes in slowly. Inch by inch as it steals the air from your lungs, not realizing how you could ever feel this full. He’s everywhere. It’s not artificial. It’s just him. Just this. And it’s overwhelming in a completely different way.
“God, you feel so fuckin’ good,” he groans, as his hips finally meet yours. “Like you were made for me.”
He moves slow at first, watching your face, chasing every gasp, every arch of your body. Letting you relax into the stretch as he drags himself in and out of you. Your body answers him before your mouth can. Nails digging into his shoulder. The pressure already building, faster this time, hotter. And he feels it, responding with a low, rough growl in your ear.
“Got used to feeling everything,” he murmurs. “Now I’ve gotta earn it. Every sound. Every twitch of those perfect fuckin’ hips.”
You can’t even speak. You moan, hips tilting up, greedy for more.
“That’s right,” he breathes, rougher now. “Show me.”
He rocks into you again, harder this time. You gasp, cry out softly against his shoulder.
“Bucky—please—”
“You begging already?” he groans, continuing to pound you deeper into the mattress. “Thought I was just a side effect.”
“You weren’t.”
He freezes, just for a moment. Kisses you again, softer now, but more desperate.
“Say it again.” His forehead presses to yours.
You touch his face, thumb brushing the hard line of his jaw. “You weren’t.”
He exhales like it hurts.
“You gonna come for me again, sweetheart?”
You whimper, helpless as your walls begin to flutter around him.
“Yeah, you are,” he breathes. “I can feel it. So tight around me already.”
And the way he looks at you—wrecked and reverent and just this side of feral—makes your whole body stutter. You want it. Want to be ruined by him. Claimed by him.
You tighten around him again, and his hips snap harder. His hand slips between your bodies. Finds your clit. Zeroes in without mercy.
“Give it to me,” he whispers into your throat. “Let me feel you fall apart.”
It hits like a freight train—loud and messy and devastating. Your back arches, your breath catches, and you cry out his name like it’s the only word you’ve got left.
He fucks you through it—long, dragging thrusts that keep you trembling. Your body’s oversensitive now, every nerve frayed, but he doesn’t stop. Keeps going, holding you there like he’s afraid you’ll vanish.
“Bucky,” you moan, hand in his hair, nails dragging over his scalp.
He breaths into your mouth—kissing you like he’s starving.
“You drive me fuckin’ crazy,” he pants. “You know that?”
You whimper, thighs shaking.
“I tried to keep it together,” he growls, voice ragged. “I tried—”
Every thrust is brutal now. Precise. Shattering.
“Fuck,” he breaths. “When you were—”
“Buck—”
He kisses you again, biting your lip. His hand moves between you again, thumb rubbing fast and perfect.
“God, baby—” His voice cracks. “You’re gonna make me fuckin’ lose it.”
“Then lose it,” you whisper. “I want you to.”
He growls your name, broken and wrecked, hips jerking once, twice—And you shatter. It slams through you—raw, loud, everything burning at the edges. Your body seizes, clenching around him, sobbing his name as you fall apart in his arms.
He buries himself inside you. You feel the heat. The flood. The way he tries to hold himself together and can’t. He’s trembling over you, muscles locked tight, jaw clenched as he pulses deep in you, riding it out with a low, wrecked moan.
You’re both gasping now. Shaking. Tangled up and clinging. And still—he doesn’t pull away. He stays. Forehead to yours, still buried deep, arms wrapped around you like you’re the only thing keeping him grounded.
“I’ve never thought—” he starts, voice ragged. “That wasn’t just—”
You touch his face, soft now. “I know.”
Because you do. This wasn’t adrenaline. Wasn’t science. Wasn’t the bond. It was him. It was you. He lifts his head slowly. Looks at you like he’s still afraid to believe it. So you cup his face, kiss his temple, and whisper, “Don’t you dare vanish on me now.”
His throat works, jaw clenches. But he doesn’t run.
He stays right where he is. Wrapped around you.
—-
The room is warm. Quiet. You’re lying on your back, one leg tangled with his, the sheets kicked halfway off the bed. Bucky’s fingers skim slow circles over your hip, like he hasn’t figured out how to stop touching you yet. Or doesn’t want to. You stare at the ceiling.
“Tell me again how this wasn’t a terrible idea,” you murmur.
He huffs out a laugh. “It was a terrible idea.”
“Oh, good,” you say. “So we’re on the same page.”
He shifts, rolling just enough to look at you. His hair is a mess, his chest still rising a little fast, like he hasn’t fully come down. There’s a smudge of dried sweat at his temple and your teeth marks fading on his neck, and you have the completely inappropriate urge to kiss both.
“Can’t believe I got to sleep with the woman who called me a glorified blunt object,” he says dryly.
You smirk. “Wasn’t planning to sleep with the guy who implied my life’s work was an emotional leash.”
“Touché.”
You sigh. Close your eyes for a second. The weight of it all—what came before, what you just crossed into—settles somewhere behind your ribs. He’s still watching you when you open them again.
“I’ll deal with Val,” he says suddenly. “If she tries to pull anything with the compound, I’ll shut it down.”
You blink. “You’re serious.”
“I usually am.”
You study him for a beat. “You don’t have to fight my battles, Barnes.”
“No,” he says. “But I want to.”
Something about the way he says it. Casual and quiet, like it isn’t a big deal, makes your stomach tighten. He’s not pushing. Not performing. He just means it. You shift closer, resting your chin on his chest. “You know, if you’d told me two weeks ago I’d end up in your bed—”
“You would’ve laughed in my face.”
“I did laugh in your face.”
“You told me I looked like a government-issued mistake.”
You snort. “Well. You kind of did.”
He smirks, fingers brushing a line along your spine. “Still think I’m a mistake?”
You glance up at him. He’s smiling, but it’s tentative. Like he’s not sure if you’ll dodge or hit back. So you lean up, kiss him—soft, but real. Honest.
“Maybe not a mistake,” you whisper against his mouth. “Maybe just… statistically improbable.”
He laughs against your lips. You both fall back into the pillows, tangled up and far too warm, but neither of you moves.
Eventually he murmurs, “This thing between us—whatever it is—it’s real now, right?”
You stretch a leg over his, sighing. “I mean, if it’s not, then I’m still having incredibly vivid sex dreams while awake.”
“That’s flattering.”
“That’s science.”
He kisses your forehead and mumbles, “Then let’s see what happens without science.”
You let that settle. No neurobond. No link. No forced proximity. Just choice. You curl in closer. And this time, when you breathe him in, you don’t feel afraid.
Just steady. Just… okay. You smile. And he feels it.
#bucky barnes#james buchanan barnes#bucky barnes fic#bucky barnes smut#bucky smut#bucky barnes x you#bucky fanfic#bucky x reader#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes x reader#bucky x yn#bucky x you#bucky fluff#bucky angst#mcu!bucky#thunderbolts#new avengers#thunderbolts!bucky#mcu!bucky fic#mcu!bucky smut#bucky fics#bucky x female reader#bucky x f!reader#bucky x y/n#oneshot
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Irregularities
LIFE WE GREW SERIES MASTERLIST <3
summary : A federal audit brings a sharp, brilliant compliance officer face-to-face with Jack Abbot, a rule-breaking trauma doctor running a shadow supply system to keep his ER alive. What starts as a confrontation becomes an alliance and the two of them fall in love in the messiest, most human way possible.
word count : 13,529
warnings/content : 18+ MDNI !!! explicit language, medical trauma, workplace stress, injury description, mention of child patient death, grief processing, alcohol use, explicit sex, hospital politics, emotionally repressed older man, emotionally competent younger woman, mutual pining, slow-burn romance, power imbalance (non-hierarchical), injury while drunk, trauma bay realism, swearing, one (1) marriage proposal during sex
Tuesday – 8:00 AM Allegheny General Hospital – Lower Admin Wing
Hospitals don’t go quiet.
Not really.
Even here—three floors above the trauma bay and two glass doors removed from the chaos—there’s still the buzz of fluorescent lights, the hiss of a printer warming up, the rhythm of a city-sized machine trying to look composed. But this floor is different. It's where the noise is paperwork, and the blood is financial.
You walk like you belong here, because that’s half the job.
Navy slacks, pressed. Ivory blouse, tucked. The black wool coat draped over your arm has been folded just so, its lapel still holding the shape of your shoulder from the bus ride over. Your shoes are silent, soft-soled—conservative enough to say I’m not here to threaten you, but pointed enough to remind them that you could. Lanyard clipped at your sternum. A pen looped into the coil of your ledger notebook. A steel travel mug in one hand.
The other grips the strap of a leather bag, weighed down with printed ledgers and a half-dozen highlighters—color-coded in a way no one but you understands.
The badge clipped to your shirt flashes with every turn:
Kane & Turner LLP : Federal Compliance Division
Your name, printed clean in black sans serif.
That’s the only thing you say as you approach the front desk—your name. You don’t need to say why you’re here. They already know.
You’re the audit. The walk, the clothes, the quiet. It’s all part of the package. You’ve learned that you don’t need to act intimidating—people project the fear themselves.
“Finance conference room’s down the left hallway,” says the woman behind the desk, not bothering to smile. She’s polite, but brisk—like she’s been told to expect you and is already counting the minutes until you’re gone. “Security badge should be active ‘til five. If you need extra time, check with admin operations.”
You nod. “Thanks.”
They always act like audits come unannounced. But they don’t. You gave them notice. Ten days. Standard protocol. The federal grant in question flagged during the quarterly compliance sweep—a mismatch between trauma unit expenditures and the itemized supply orders. Enough of a discrepancy that your firm sent someone in person.
That someone is you.
You push the door open to the designated conference room and are hit with the familiar scent of institutional lemon cleaner and cold laminate tables. One wall is floor-to-ceiling windows, facing the opposite hospital wing; the rest is sterile whiteboard and cheap drop ceiling. Someone left two water bottles and a packet of hospital-branded pens on the table. The air is too cold.
Good. You work better like that.
You slide into the seat furthest from the door and start unpacking: first the laptop, then the binder of flagged ledgers, then a manila folder marked ER SUPPLY – FY20 in your handwriting. You open it flat and smooth the corners, spreading it across the table like a map. You don’t need directions. You’re here to track footprints.
Most audits feel bloated. Fraud is rarely elegant. It’s padded hours, made-up patients, vendors that don’t exist. But this one is… off. Not obviously criminal. Just messy.
You sip the lukewarm coffee you poured in the break room—burnt, stale, and still the best part of your morning—and begin.
Line by line.
February 12th: Gauze and blood bags double-logged under pediatrics.
March 3rd: 16 units of epinephrine marked as “routine use” with no corresponding case.
April 8th: High-volume saline usage with no corresponding trauma log.
None of it makes sense until you hit the May file.
May 17th.
Your finger stills over the page. A flagged case code—4413A—a GSW patient brought in at 02:11AM, code blue on arrival. The trauma bay requisition log is blank. Completely empty. No gauze. No sutures. No chest tube. Not even surgical gloves.
Instead, the corresponding supply usage appears—wrong date, wrong bay, under the general medicine supply closet three doors down. The only signature?
J. Abbot.
You sit back in your chair, eyes narrowing.
It’s not the first time his name has come up. You flip through past logs, then again through the April folder. There he is again. Trauma-level supplies signed under incorrect departments. Equipment routed through pediatrics. Trauma kit requests stamped urgent but logged under outpatient codes.
Never outrageous. Never duplicated. But always… altered. Shifted.
And always the same name in the bottom corner.
Jack Abbot Trauma Attending.
No initials after the name. No pomp. Just that hard, slanted signature—like someone in too much of a hurry to care if the pen worked properly.
You lean forward again, grabbing a sticky note.
Who the hell are you, Jack Abbot?
Your phone buzzes. A reminder that your firm expects an initial report by EOD. You check your watch—8:58 AM. Still early. You’ve got time to dig before anyone notices you’re not just sitting quietly in the background.
You open your laptop and search the internal directory.
ABBOT, JACK. Emergency Medicine, Trauma Center – Full Time Contact : [email protected] Page: 3371
You hover over the extension.
Then you close the tab.
There are two ways to handle something like this. You can go the formal route—submit a flagged incident for admin review, request clarification via email, cc your firm. Or...
You can go see what the hell kind of doctor signs off on trauma supplies like they’re water and lies to the system to get away with it.
You stand.
Your shoes are soundless against the tile.
Time to meet the man behind the margins.
Tuesday — 9:07 AM Allegheny General Hospital – Emergency Wing, Sublevel One
You don’t belong here, and the walls know it.
The ER hums like a living organism—loud in the places you expect to be quiet, and disturbingly quiet in the places that should scream. No signage tells you where to go, just a worn plastic placard labeled “TRAUMA — RESTRICTED ACCESS” and an old red arrow. You follow it anyway.
Your heels click once. Then again.
A tech throws you a sideways glance. A nurse barrels past with a tray of tubing and a strip of ECG printouts clutched in her fist. You flatten yourself against the wall. Keep moving.
This isn't the world of emails and boardrooms and fluorescent-lit compliance briefings. Here, time is blood. Everything moves too fast, too loud, too hot. It smells like antiseptic and old sweat. Somewhere nearby, a man is moaning—low, ragged. In another room, someone shouts for a Glidescope.
You don’t flinch. You’ve sat across from CEOs getting indicted. But still—this is not your battlefield.
You square your shoulders anyway and head for the nurse’s station, guided by the pulsing anxiety of your purpose. The folder tucked against your ribs is thick with numbers. Itemized trauma inventory. Improper codes. Unexplained cross-departmental requisitions. And one name—over and over again.
J. Abbot.
You stop at the cluttered, overrun desk where five nurses and two interns are trying to share a single charting terminal. Dana Evans, Charge Nurse, gives you a look like she’s been warned someone like you might show up.
“You lost?” she asks, not unkind, but sharp around the edges.
“I’m here for Dr. Abbot. I’m conducting an internal audit—grant oversight tied to the ER trauma budget.”
Dana lets out a soft, near-silent laugh through her nose. “Oh. You.”
“Excuse me?”
“No offense, but we’ve been placing bets on how long you’d last down here. My money was on ten minutes. The med student said eight.”
“I’ve been here twelve.”
She cocks a brow. “Well. You just made someone ten bucks. He’s at the back bay, not supposed to be here this morning—double-covered someone’s shift. Lucky you.”
That last part catches your attention.
“Why is he covering?”
Dana shrugs, but her expression flickers—tight, guarded. “He’s not supposed to be. Got a call about a kid he used to mentor—resident from one of his old programs. Car wreck on Sunday. Jack’s been pacing ever since. Showed up before sunrise. Said he couldn’t sleep.”
You blink.
“You’re telling me he—”
“Hasn’t slept, probably hasn’t eaten, definitely hasn’t had a civil conversation since Saturday? Yeah. That’s about right.”
You process it. Nod once. “Thank you.”
She grins. “You’re brave. Not smart. But brave.”
You leave her laughing behind you.
The trauma wing proper is a maze of curtained bays and rushed movement. You keep scanning every ID badge, every profile, looking for something—until you see him.
Back turned. Clipboard under his elbow, talking to someone too quietly for you to hear. He’s taller than you’d imagined—broad in the shoulders, but tired in the way his weight shifts unevenly from one leg to the other. One knee flexes, absorbs. The other does not.
You recognize it now.
You walk up and stop a respectful foot behind.
“Dr. Abbot?”
He doesn’t turn at first. Just adjusts the pen behind his ear, flicks a switch on the vitals monitor. Then:
“Yeah.”
He looks over his shoulder, sees you, and stills.
His face is older than his file photo. Harder. Faint stubble across his jaw, a constellation of stress lines under his eyes that no amount of sleep could erase. His black scrub top is creased at the collar, short sleeves revealing tan forearms mapped with faded scars and the pale ghost of a long-healed burn.
You catch your breath—not because he’s handsome, though he is. But because he’s real. Grounded. And already deciding what box to put you in.
You lift your badge. “I’m with Kane & Turner. I’m conducting a trauma budget audit for the grant you’re listed under. I’d like to go over some of your logs.”
He stares at you.
Long enough to make it feel intentional.
“Now?”
“I was told you were available.”
He huffs out a laugh, if you can call it that—dry and crooked, more breath than sound. “Jesus Christ. Yeah. I’m sure that’s what Dana said.”
“She said you came in before sunrise.”
Jack doesn’t look at you. Just scratches once at his jaw, where the stubble’s gone patchy, then drops his hand again like the gesture annoyed him. “Didn’t plan to be here. Wasn’t on the board.”
A beat. Then: “Got a call Sunday night. One of my old residents—kid from back in Boston. Wrapped his car around a guardrail. I don’t know if he fell asleep or if he meant to do it. Doesn’t matter, I guess. He died on impact.”
His voice doesn’t shift. Not even a flicker. Just calm, like he’s reading it off a report. But his fingers twitch once at his side, and he’s standing too still, like if he moves the wrong way, he might break something in himself.
“I’ve been up since,” he adds, almost like an afterthought. “Figured I’d do something useful.”
You hesitate. “I’m sorry.”
He finally looks at you, and the hollow behind his eyes is like a door left open too long in winter. “Don’t be. He’s the one who didn’t walk away.”
A beat of silence.
“I won’t take much of your time,” you say. “But there are significant inconsistencies in your logs. Some dating back six months. Most from May. Including—”
“Let me guess,” he interrupts. “May 17th. GSW. Bay One unavailable. Used the peds closet. Logged under the wrong department. Didn’t have time to clear it before I scrubbed in. End of story.”
You blink. “That’s not exactly—”
“You want a confession? Fine. I logged shit wrong. I do it all the time. I make it fit the bill codes that get supplies restocked fastest, not the ones that make sense to people sitting upstairs.”
Your mouth opens. Closes.
Jack turns to face you fully now, arms crossed. “You ever had a mother screaming in your face because her kid’s pressure dropped and you’re still waiting for a sterile suction kit to come up from Central?”
You shake your head.
“Didn’t think so.”
“I understand it’s difficult, but that doesn’t make it right—”
“I’m not here to be right,” he says flatly. “I’m here to make sure people don’t die waiting for tape and tubing.”
He steps closer, voice quieter now.
“You think the system’s built for this place? It’s not. It’s built for billing departments and insurance adjusters. I’m just bending it so the next teenager doesn’t bleed out on a gurney because the ER spent two hours requesting sterile gauze through the proper channel.”
You’re trying to hold your ground, but something in you wavers. Just slightly.
“This isn’t about money,” you say, though your voice softens. “It’s about transparency. The federal grant is under review. If they pull it, it’s not just your supplies—it’s salaries. Nurses. Fellowships. You could cost this hospital everything.”
Jack exhales hard through his nose. Looks at you like he wants to say a hundred things and doesn’t have the energy for one.
“You ever been in a position,” he murmurs, “where the right thing and the possible thing weren’t the same thing?”
You say nothing.
Because you’ve built a life doing the former.
And he’s built one surviving the latter.
“I’ll be in the charting room in twenty,” he says, already turning away. “If you want to see what this looks like up close, you’re welcome to follow.”
Before you can answer, someone shouts his name—loud, urgent.
He bolts toward the trauma bay before the syllables finish echoing.
And you’re left standing there, folder pressed to your chest, heart hammering in a way that has nothing to do with ethics and everything to do with him.
Jack Abbot.
A man who rewrites the rules not because he doesn’t care—
But because he cares too much to follow them.
Tuesday — 9:24 AM Allegheny General – Trauma Bay 2
You were not trained for this.
No part of your CPA license, your MBA electives, or your federal compliance onboarding prepared you for what it means to step inside a trauma bay mid-resuscitation.
But you do it anyway.
He told you to follow, and you did. Not because you’re scared of him—but because something in his voice made you want to understand him. Dissect the logic beneath the defiance. And because you're not the kind of woman who lets someone walk away thinking they’ve won a conversation just because they can bark louder.
So now here you are, standing just past the curtain, audit folder pressed against your chest like armor, trying not to breathe too shallow in case it looks like you’re afraid.
It’s loud. Then silent. Then louder.
A man lies on the table, unconscious. Twenty-five, maybe thirty. Jeans cut open, a ragged wound in his left thigh leaking bright arterial blood. A nurse swears under her breath. The EKG monitor screams. A resident drops a tray of gauze on the floor.
You don’t step back.
Jack Abbot is already at the man’s side.
His hands move like they’re ahead of his thoughts. No hesitation. No consulting a textbook. He pulls a sterile clamp from a drawer, presses it to the wound, and shouts for suction before the blood can pool down the table leg. The team forms around him like satellites to a planet. He doesn't yell. He commands. Low-voiced. Urgent. Controlled.
“Clamp there,” Jack says, to a stunned-looking intern. “No, firmer. This isn’t a prom date.”
You stifle a snort—barely. No one else even reacts.
The nurse closest to him says, “BP’s crashing.”
“Pressure bag’s up?”
“In use.”
“Give me a second one, now. And call blood bank—we’re skipping crossmatch. Type O, two units.”
You shift your weight quietly, moving two inches left so you’re out of the path of the incoming trauma cart. It bumps your hip. You don’t flinch.
He glances up. Sees you still standing there.
“You sure you want to be here?” he asks, not pausing. “It’s not exactly OSHA compliant.”
You meet his eyes evenly.
“You invited me, remember?”
He blinks once, but says nothing.
The monitor screams again. Jack lowers his head, muttering something you don’t catch. Then, to the nurse: “We’re not getting return. I need to open.”
“You want to crack here?” she asks. “We’re two minutes from OR three—”
“We don’t have two minutes.”
The tray arrives. Jack snaps on a new pair of gloves. You glance down and catch the gleam of something inside him—a steel that wasn’t there in the hallway.
This man is exhausted. Unshaven. Probably hasn't eaten in twelve hours. And yet every move he makes now is poetry. Violent, beautiful poetry. He’s not a man anymore—he’s a scalpel. A weapon for something bigger than him.
And still, you stay.
You even speak.
“If you’re going to override a standard OR protocol in front of a compliance officer,” you say calmly, “you might want to narrate it for the notes.”
The entire room freezes for half a second.
Jack looks up at you—truly looks—and his mouth twitches. Not a smile. Something older. A flicker of amusement under pressure.
“You’re a piece of work,” he mutters, turning back to the table. “Sternotomy tray. Now.”
You watch.
He cuts.
The man survives.
And you’re left trying to hold onto the version of him you built in your head when you walked through those double doors—the reckless trauma doctor who flouts policy and falsifies entries like he’s above the rules.
But he’s not above them.
He’s beneath them. Holding them up from below.
Twenty-three minutes later, he’s stripping off his gloves and washing his hands at a sink just past the trauma bays. The blood spirals down the drain in rust-colored ribbons. His jaw is clenched. His shoulders sag.
You step closer. No fear. No folder to hide behind now—just your voice.
“I don’t know what you think I’m doing here,” you say quietly, “but I’m not your enemy.”
Jack doesn’t look up.
“You’re wearing a suit,” he says. “You carry a clipboard. You track numbers like they tell the whole story.”
“I track truth,” you correct. “Which is a lot harder to pin down when you hide things in pediatric line items.”
He turns. That gets his attention.
“Is that what you think I’m doing? Hiding things?”
“I think you’re manipulating a fragile system to serve your own triage priorities. I think you’re smart enough to know how to avoid audit flags. And I think you’re exhausted enough not to care if it lands you in disciplinary review.”
His laugh is dry and joyless.
“You know what lands me in disciplinary review? Not spending thirty bucks of saline because a man didn’t bleed on the right fucking floor.”
“I know,” you say. “I watched you save someone who wasn’t supposed to make it past intake.”
Jack pauses.
And for the first time, you see it: a beat of surprise. Not in your observation, but in your acknowledgment.
“Then why are you still pushing?”
“Because I can’t fix what I don’t understand. And right now? You’re not giving me a goddamn thing to work with.”
A long silence stretches.
The sink drips.
You fold your arms. “If you want me to report accurately, show me what’s behind the curtain. The real system. Your system.”
Jack watches you carefully. His brow furrows. You wonder if anyone’s ever said that to him before—Let me see the whole thing. I won’t flinch.
“Follow me,” he says at last.
And then he walks. Not fast. Not trying to shake you. Just steady steps down the hallway. Past curtain 6. Past the empty crash cart. To a supply room you didn’t even know existed.
You follow.
Because that’s the deal now. He shows you what he’s built in the margins, and you decide whether to burn it down.
Or defend it.
Tuesday — 10:02 AM Allegheny General – Sublevel 1, Unmapped Storage Room
The hallway leading there isn’t on the public map. It’s narrower than it should be, dimmer too, the kind of corridor that exists between structural beams and budget approvals. You follow him past the trauma bay, past the marked charting alcove, past a metal door you wouldn’t have noticed if he hadn’t stopped.
Jack pulls a key from the lanyard tucked in his back pocket. Not a swipe badge—a key. Real, metal, old. He unlocks the door with a twist and a grunt.
Inside, fluorescent light hums awake overhead. The bulb stutters once, then holds.
And you freeze.
It’s a supply closet—but only in name. It’s his war room.
The room is narrow but deep, lined wall-to-wall with shelves of restocked trauma kits, expired saline bags labeled “STILL USABLE” in black Sharpie, drawers of unlabeled syringes, taped-up binders, folders with handwritten tabs. No digital interface. No hospital barcodes. No asset tags.
There’s a folding chair in the corner. A coffee mug half-full of pens. A cracked whiteboard with a grid system that only he could understand. The air smells like latex, ink, and whatever disinfectant they stopped ordering five fiscal quarters ago.
You take a breath. Step in. Close the door behind you.
He watches you like he expects you to flinch.
You don’t.
Jack leans a shoulder against the far wall, arms crossed, one leg bent to rest his boot against the floorboard behind him. The right leg. The prosthesis. You clock the adjustment without reacting. He notices that you notice—and doesn’t look away.
“This is off-grid,” he says finally. “No admin approval. No inventory code. No audit trail.”
You walk deeper into the room. Run your fingers along the edge of a file labeled: ALT REORDER ROUTES – Q2 / MANUAL ONLY / DO NOT SCAN
“You’ve built a shadow system,” you say.
“I built a system that works,” he corrects.
You turn. “This is fraud.”
He snorts. “It’s survival.”
“I’m serious, Abbot. This is full-blown liability. You’re rerouting federal grant stock using pediatric codes. You’re bypassing restock thresholds. You’re personally signing off on requisitions under miscategorized departments—”
“And you’re here with a folder and a badge acting like your spreadsheet saves more lives than a clamp and a peds line that actually shows up.”
Silence.
But it’s not silence. Not really.
There’s a hum between you now. Not quite anger. Not admiration either. Something in between. Something volatile.
You raise your chin. “I’m not here to be impressed.”
“Good. I’m not trying to impress you.”
“Then why show me this?”
“Because you kept your eyes open in the trauma bay,” he says. “You didn’t faint. You didn’t cry. You watched me crack a man’s chest open in real time, and instead of hiding behind a chart, you asked me to narrate the procedure.”
You blink. Once. “So that was a test?”
“That was a Tuesday.”
You glance around the room again.
There are labels that don’t match any official inventory records you’ve seen. Bin codes that don’t belong to any department. You pull a clipboard from the wall and flip through it—one page, then another. All hand-tracked inventory numbers. Dated. Annotated. Jack’s handwriting is messy but consistent. He’s been doing this for years.
Years.
And no one’s stopped him.
Or helped.
“Do they know?” you ask. “Admin. Robinavitch. Evans. Anyone?”
Jack leans his head back against the wall. “They know something’s off. But as long as the board meetings stay quiet and the trauma bay doesn’t run dry, no one goes looking. And if someone does, well…” He gestures to the room. “They find nothing.”
“You hide it this well?”
“I’m not stupid.”
You pause. “Then why let me see it?”
Jack looks at you.
Not quickly. Not dramatically. Just slowly. Like he’s finally weighing you honestly.
“Because you’re not like the others they’ve sent before. The last one tried to threaten me with a suspension. You walked into a trauma bay in heels and told me to log my chaos in real-time.”
You smirk. “It is hard to argue with a woman holding a clipboard and a minor God complex.”
He chuckles. “You should see me with a chest tube and a caffeine withdrawal.”
You flip another page.
“You’ve been routing orders through departments that don’t even realize they’re losing inventory.”
“Because I return what I borrow before they notice. I run double restocks through the night shift when the scanner’s offline. I update storage rooms myself. No one’s ever missed a needle they weren’t expecting.”
You shake your head. “This is a house of cards.”
Jack shrugs. “And yet it holds.”
“But for how long?”
Now you’re the one who steps forward. You plant yourself in front of the table and open your binder. Click your pen.
“I can’t pretend this doesn’t exist. If I report this exactly as it is, the grant’s pulled. You’re fired. This hospital goes under federal review for misappropriation of trauma funds.”
He doesn’t blink. “Then do it.”
You stare at him. “What?”
He steps off the wall now, closes the space between you like it’s nothing.
“I’ve survived worse,” he says. “You think this job is about safety? It’s not. It’s about how long you can keep other people alive before the system kills you too.”
You inhale, hard. “God, you’re dramatic.”
He smirks. “And you’re stubborn.”
“Because I don’t want to bury you in a report. I want to fix the goddamn machine before someone else gets chewed up in it.”
Jack stares at you.
The flicker of something new in his expression.
Respect.
“Then help me,” you say. “Let me draft a compliance framework that mirrors what you’ve built. A real one. If we can prove this routing saved lives, reduced downtime, and didn’t drain pediatric inventory, we can pitch it as an emergency operations protocol, not fraud.”
His brows lift, skeptical. “You think they’ll buy that?”
“No,” you say. “But I’m not giving them the choice. I’m giving them math.”
That gets him.
He grins. Barely. But it’s real.
“God,” he mutters. “You’re a menace.”
“You’re welcome.”
He turns away to hide the grin, but not before you catch the edge of it.
And then—quietly—he reaches for a file at the back of the shelf. It’s older. Faded. Taped up the side. He places it in your hands.
“What’s this?” you ask.
“The first reroute I ever filed. Back in 2017. Kid named Miguel. We were out of blood bags. I had a connection with the OR nurse who owed me a favor. Rerouted it through post-op. Saved the kid’s life. Never logged it.”
You glance down at the file. “You kept it?”
“I keep all of them.”
He meets your eyes again.
“You’re not here to bury me. Fine. But if you’re going to save me, do it right.”
You nod.
“I always do.”
Tuesday — 12:23 PM Allegheny General – Third Floor Charting Alcove
There’s no door to the alcove. Just a half-wall and a partition, like someone once tried to offer privacy and gave up halfway through. There’s a long desk, a broken rolling chair, two non-matching stools, and a stack of patient folders leaning so far left you half expect them to fall. The overhead light buzzes faintly, casting everything in pale hospital yellow.
You sit at the desk anyway.
Jacket folded over the back of the stool, sleeves pushed to your elbows, fingers already flying across the keyboard of your laptop. You’re building fast but clean. Sharp lines. Conditional formatting. A crisis-routing framework that looks like it was written by a task force, not two people who met five hours ago in a trauma hallway soaked in blood.
Jack stands across from you.
Leaning, not lounging. One arm crossed, the other flexed slightly as he rubs a knot in his shoulder. His scrub top is wrinkled and dark at the collar. There's a faint stain down his side you’re trying not to identify. He hasn't touched his phone in forty minutes. Hasn’t once asked when this ends.
He’s watching you.
Not like you’re entertainment. Like he’s waiting to see if you’ll slip.
You don’t.
“You ever sleep?” he asks, finally breaking the silence.
You don’t look up. “I’ve heard of it.”
He makes a sound—half laugh, half breath. “What’s your background, anyway? You don’t have the eyes of someone who studied finance for fun.”
“Applied mathematical economics,” you say, still typing. “Minor in gender studies. First job was forensic audits for nonprofits. Moved to healthcare compliance after a board member got indicted.”
That gets his attention. “Jesus.”
You glance at him. “I’m not here because I care about sterile supply chains, Dr. Abbot. I’m here because I know what happens when people stop paying attention to the margins.”
He leans in. “And what happens?”
You meet his eyes.
“They bleed.”
Something in his face tightens. Not defensiveness. Recognition.
You go back to typing.
On your screen, the Crisis Routing Framework takes shape line by line. A column for shelf code. A subcolumn for department reroute. A notes field for justification. A time-stamp formula.
You highlight the headers and format them in hospital blue.
Jack watches your hands. “You make it look real.”
“It is real. I’m just reverse-engineering the lie.”
“You ever consider med school?”
You snort. “No offense, but I prefer a job where the people I save don’t flatline halfway through.”
He grins. It's tired. But it's real.
You type another line, then say, “I’m flagging pediatric code 412 as overused. If they run a query, we need to show it tapered off this month. Start routing through P-580. Float department. Similar stock, slower pull rate.”
He nods slowly. “You’re scary.”
“Good. You’ll need someone scary.”
He rubs his thumb along his jaw. “You always this relentless?”
You pause. Then look at him.
“I grew up in a house where if you didn’t solve the problem, no one else was coming. So yeah. I’m relentless.”
Jack doesn’t smile this time. He just nods. Like he gets it.
You shift gears. “Talk me through supply flow. Where’s your weakest point?”
He thinks. “ICU hoards ventilator tubing. Pediatrics short-changes trauma bay stock twice a year during audit season. Central Supply won't prioritize ER if the orders come in after 5PM. And once a month, someone from anesthesia pulls from our cart without logging it.”
You blink. “That’s practically sabotage.”
You finish a formula. “Okay. I’m structuring this like a mirrored requisition chain. Any reroute needs a justification and a fallback, plus one sign-off from a second attending. If we’re going to pitch this as protocol, we can’t make you look like the sole cowboy.”
Jack quirks a brow. “Even though I am?”
“Especially because you are.”
He laughs again, and it’s deeper this time. Not performative. Just… easy.
He moves closer. Pulls a stool up beside you. Watches the screen over your shoulder.
“Alright. Let’s build it.”
You glance at him sideways. “Now you want in?”
“I don’t like systems I didn’t help design.”
You smirk. “Typical.”
“Also,” he adds, “I’m the one who’s gonna have to sell this to Robby. If it sounds too academic, he’ll assume I lost a bet and had to let someone from Harvard try to fix the ER.”
“I went to Ohio State.”
“Even worse.”
You roll your eyes. “We’re naming it CRF—Crisis Routing Framework.”
“That’s terrible.”
“It’s bureaucratically unassailable.”
“Still sounds like a printer manual.”
“You’re welcome.”
He chuckles again, and it hits you for the first time how rare that sound probably is from him. Jack Abbot doesn’t laugh in meetings. He doesn’t charm the board. He doesn’t play. He works. Bleeds. Fixes.
And here he is, giving you his time.
You scroll to the bottom of the spreadsheet and create a new tab. LIVE REROUTE LOG – PHASE ONE PILOT
You look at him. “You’re gonna log everything from here on out. Time, item, reroute, reason, outcome.”
Jack raises a brow. “Outcome?”
“I’m not defending chaos. I’m documenting impact. That’s how we scale this.”
He nods. “Alright.”
“You’re going to train one resident to do this after you.”
“I already know who.”
“And you’re going to let me present this to the admin team before you barge in and call someone a corporate parasite.”
Jack presses a hand to his chest, mock-offended. “I never said that out loud.”
You glance at him.
He exhales. “Fine. Deal.”
You close the laptop.
The spreadsheet is done. The framework is real. The logs are ready to go live. All that’s left now is convincing the hospital that what you’ve built together isn’t just a workaround—it’s the blueprint for saving what’s left.
He’s quiet for a minute.
Then: “You know this doesn’t fix everything, right?”
You nod. “It’s not supposed to. It just keeps the people who do fix things from getting fired.”
Jack tilts his head. “You really believe that?”
You meet his eyes. “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.”
He studies you like he’s trying to find the catch.
Then he leans forward, forearms resting on his knees. “You know, when they said someone from Kane & Turner was coming in, I pictured a thirty-year-old with a spreadsheet addiction and no clue what a trauma bay looked like.”
“I pictured a man who didn’t know what a compliance code was and thought ethics were optional.”
He grins. “Touché.”
You smile back, tired and full of adrenaline and something else you don’t have a name for yet.
Then you stand. Sling your laptop under your arm.
“I’ll send you the first draft of the protocol by morning,” you say. “Review it. Sign off. Try not to add any sarcastic margin notes unless they’re grammatically correct.”
Jack stands too. Nods.
And then—quietly, like it costs him something—he says, “Thank you.”
You pause.
“You’re welcome.”
He doesn’t say more. Doesn’t have to. You walk out of the alcove without looking back. You’ve already given him your trust. The rest is up to him.
Behind you, Jack pulls the chair closer. Opens the laptop.
And starts logging.
Saturday — 12:16 AM Three Weeks Later Downtown Pittsburgh — The Forge, Liberty Ave
The bar pulses.
Brick walls sweat condensation. Shot glasses clink. The DJ is on his third remix of the same Doja Cat song, and the bass is loud enough to rearrange your internal organs. Somewhere behind you, someone’s yelling about their ex. Your drink is pink and glowing and entirely too strong.
You’re wearing a bachelorette sash. It isn’t your party. You barely know half the girls here. One of them’s already crying in the bathroom. Another lost a nail trying to mount the mechanical bull.
And you?
You’re on top of a booth table with a stolen tiara jammed into your hair and exactly three working brain cells rattling around your skull.
Someone hands you another tequila shot.
You take it.
You’re drunk—not hospital gala drunk, not tipsy-at-a-networking-reception drunk.
You’re downtown-Pittsburgh, six-tequila-shots-deep, screaming-a-Fergie-remix drunk.
Because it’s been a month of high-functioning, hyper-competent, trauma-defending, budget-balancing brilliance. And tonight?
You want to be dumb. Messy. Loud. A girl in a too-short dress with glitter dusted across her clavicle and no memory of the phrase “compliance code.”
You tip your head back. The bar lights blur.
That’s when you try the spin.
A full, arms-above-your-head, dramatic-ass spin.
Your heel lands wrong.
And the table snaps.
You hear it before you feel it—an ugly wood crack, a rush of cold air, your body collapsing sideways. Something twists in your ankle. Your elbow hits the edge of a stool. You end up flat on your back on the floor, breath gone, ears ringing.
The bar goes silent.
Someone gasps.
Someone laughs.
And above you—through the haze of artificial light and bass static—you hear a voice.
Familiar.
Dry. Sharp. Unbelievably fucking real.
“Jesus Christ.”
Jack Abbot has been here twelve minutes.
Long enough for Robby to buy him a beer and mutter something about needing “noise therapy” after a shift that involved two DOAs, one psych hold, and an attempted overdose in the staff restroom.
Jack hadn’t wanted to come. He still smells like the trauma bay. His back hurts. There’s blood on his undershirt. But Robby insisted.
So here he is, in a bar full of neon and glitter, trying not to judge anyone for being loud and alive.
And then you fell through a table.
He doesn’t recognize you at first. Not in this light. Not in that dress. Not barefoot on the floor with your hair falling out of its updo and your mouth half-open in shock.
But then he sees the way you try to sit up.
And you groan: “Oh my God.”
Jack’s already moving.
Robby shouts behind him, “Is that—oh shit, that’s her—”
Jack ignores him. Shoves through the crowd. Kneels at your side. You’re clutching your ankle. There's glitter on your neck. You're laughing and crying and trying to brush off your friends.
And then you see him.
Your eyes go wide.
You blink. “...Jack?”
His jaw tightens. “Yeah. It’s me.”
You try to sit up straighter. Fail. “Am I dreaming?”
“Nope.”
“Are you real?”
“Unfortunately.”
You drop your head back against the floor. “Oh God. This is the most humiliating night of my life.”
“Worse than the procurement meeting?”
You peek up at him, hair in your eyes. “Worse. Way worse. I was trying to prove I could still do a backbend.”
Jack sighs. “Of course you were.”
You wince. “I think I broke my foot.”
He presses two fingers to your pulse, checks your ankle gently. “You might’ve. It’s swelling. You’re lucky.”
“I don’t feel lucky.”
“You are,” he says. “If you’d twisted further inward, you’d be looking at a spiral fracture.”
You stare at him. “Did you really just trauma-evaluate my foot in a bar?”
Jack looks up. “Would you prefer someone else?”
“No,” you admit.
“Then shut up and let me finish.”
Your friends hover, but none of them move closer. Jack’s presence is... commanding. Like the bar suddenly remembered he’s the person you call when someone stops breathing.
You watch him.
The sleeves of his black zip-up are rolled to the elbow. His hands are clean now, but his cuticles are stained. His ID badge is gone, but he still wears the same exhaustion. The same steady focus.
He touches your foot again. You flinch.
Jack winces, just slightly.
“I’ve got you,” he says.
Jack slips one arm under your legs and the other behind your back and lifts.
“Holy shit,” you squeak. “What are you doing?!”
“Getting you off the floor before someone livestreams this.”
You bury your face in his collarbone. “I hate you.”
He chuckles. “No, you don’t.”
“You’re smug.”
“I’m right.”
“You smell like trauma bay and cheap beer.”
“Don’t change the subject.”
He carries you past the bouncer, past the flash of phone cameras, past Robby cackling at the bar.
Outside, the air hits you like truth. Cold. Sharp. Clear.
Jack sets you down on the hood of his truck and kneels again.
“You’re taking me to the ER?” you ask, quieter now.
“No,” he says. “You’re coming to my apartment. We’ll ice it, wrap it, and if it still looks bad in the morning, I’ll take you in.”
You squint. “I thought you weren’t off until Monday.”
Jack stands. “I’m not, but you’re coming with me. Someone’s gotta keep you from dancing on furniture.”
You blink. “You’re serious.”
“I always am.”
You look at him.
Three weeks ago, you rewrote a system together. Built a lifeline in the margins. Saved a hospital with data, caffeine, and stubborn brilliance.
And now he’s here, brushing glitter off your shoulder, holding your sprained foot like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
“I thought you hated me,” you murmur.
Jack looks at you, something unreadable flickering behind his eyes.
“I didn’t hate you,” he says.
He leans in.
“I just didn’t know how much I needed you until you stayed.”
Saturday — 12:57 AM Jack's Apartment — South Side Flats
You don’t remember the elevator ride.
Just the press of warm hands. The cold knot of pain winding tighter in your foot. The way Jack didn’t flinch when you leaned into him like gravity wasn’t working the way it should.
He’d carried you like he’d done it before.
Like your weight wasn’t an inconvenience.
Like there wasn’t something fragile in the way your hands gripped the edge of his jacket, or the way your voice slurred slightly when you whispered, “Please don’t drop me.”
“I’ve got you,” he’d said.
Not a performance. Not pity.
Just fact.
Now you’re here. In his apartment. And everything’s still.
The door clicks shut behind you. The locks slide into place. You blink in the quiet.
Jack’s apartment is...surprising.
Not messy. Not sterile. Lived in.
A row of mugs lined up by the sink—some hospital-branded, one chipped, one that says “World’s Okayest Doctor” in faded red font. A half-built bookshelf in the corner with a hammer sitting beside it, a box of unopened paperbacks on the floor. A stack of trauma logs on the kitchen counter, marked with highlighters. There’s a hoodie tossed over the back of a chair. A photo frame turned face-down.
He doesn’t explain the place. Just moves toward the couch.
“Feet up,” he says gently. “Cushions under your back. I’ll get the ice.”
You let him settle you—ankle elevated, pillow beneath your knees, spine curving against the soft give of the cushion. His hands are firm but careful. His touch steady. No wasted movement.
The moment he turns toward the kitchen, you finally exhale.
Your foot throbs, yes. But it’s not just the injury. It’s the shift. The collapse. The way your brain is catching up to your body, fast and unforgiving.
He returns with a towel-wrapped bag of crushed ice. Kneels beside the couch. Presses it gently to your swollen ankle.
You wince.
He watches you. “Still bad?”
“I’ve had worse.”
He cocks his head. “Let me guess—tax season?”
You smile, tired. “Try federal oversight for a trauma unit that runs on scraps.”
His mouth twitches. “Fair.”
He adjusts the ice. Shifts slightly to sit on the floor beside you, back against the edge of the couch.
“Thanks for not taking me to the hospital,” you murmur after a beat.
He snorts. “You were drunk, barefoot, and covered in glitter. I figured they didn’t need that energy tonight.”
You laugh softly. “I’m usually very composed, you know.”
“Sure.”
“I am.”
“You’re also the only person I’ve ever seen terrify a board meeting into extending a $1.4 million grant with nothing but a color-coded spreadsheet and a raised eyebrow.”
You grin, despite the ache. “It worked.”
He looks at you then.
Really looks.
“Yeah,” he says quietly. “It did.”
Silence stretches, but it’s not awkward.
The hum of his fridge clicks on. The distant wail of a siren threads through the cracked kitchen window. The ice burns through the towel, numbing your foot.
You turn your head toward him. “You don’t talk much when you’re off shift.”
He shrugs. “I talk all day. Sometimes it’s nice to let the quiet say something for me.”
You pause. Then: “You’ve changed.”
Jack’s eyes flick up. “Since what?”
“Since the first day. You were—” you search for the word, “—hostile.”
“I was exhausted.”
“You’re still exhausted.”
“Maybe.” He rubs a hand over his face. “But back then, I didn’t think anyone gave a shit about the mess we were drowning in. Then you showed up in heels and threatened to file an ethics report in real-time during a trauma code.”
You grin. “You never let me live that down.”
He chuckles. “It was hot.”
You blink. “What?”
His eyes widen slightly. He looks away. “Shit. Sorry. That was—”
“Say it again,” you say, heartbeat ticking up.
He hesitates.
Then, quieter: “It was hot.”
The room stills.
Your throat goes dry.
Jack clears his throat and stands. “I’ll get you some water.”
You catch his wrist.
He stops. Looks down.
You don’t let go. Not yet.
“I think I’m sobering up,” you whisper.
Jack doesn’t speak. But his expression softens. Like he’s afraid you’ll take it back if he breathes too loud.
“And I still want you here,” you add.
That breaks something in his posture.
Not lust. Not intention.
Just clarity.
Jack lowers himself back down. Closer this time. He leans forward, arms on his knees, forearms bare, veins visible under dim kitchen-light glow. You’re aware of the space between you. The hush. The hum.
“I’ve been trying to stay out of your way,” he admits. “Let the protocol speak for itself. Let the work be enough.”
“It is.”
“But it’s not all.”
You nod. “I know.”
He meets your eyes. “I meant what I said. I didn’t know how much I needed you until you stayed.”
Your chest tightens.
“You make it easier to breathe in that place,” he adds. “And I haven’t breathed easy in years.”
You lean back against the couch, exhale slowly.
“I think we’re more alike than I thought,” you murmur. “We both like being the one people rely on.”
Jack nods. “And we both fall apart quietly.”
Another silence. Another shift.
“I don’t want to fall apart tonight,” you whisper.
He looks at you.
“You won’t,” he says. “Not while I’m here.”
And then he reaches for your hand. Doesn’t take it. Just lets his fingers rest close enough that the warmth passes between you.
That’s all it is.
Not a kiss.
Not a confession.
Just one long moment of quiet, where neither of you has to hold the weight of anyone else’s world.
Just each other’s.
Sunday — 8:19 AM Jack's Apartment — South Side Flats
You wake to soft light.
Filtered through half-closed blinds, the kind that turns gray into gold and casts long lines across the carpet. The apartment is quiet, still warm from the night before, but there’s no sound except the faint hum of the fridge and the scrape of the city waking up somewhere six floors down.
Your foot throbs—but less than last night.
The pain is dulled. Managed.
You shift slowly, eyes adjusting. You’re on the couch, still in your dress, a blanket draped over you. Your leg is elevated on a pillow, and your ankle is wrapped in clean white gauze—professionally, precisely. You didn’t do that.
Jack.
There’s a glass of water on the coffee table. Full. No condensation. A bottle of ibuprofen beside it, label turned outward. A banana and a paper napkin.
The care is unmistakable.
You blink once, twice, then sit up slowly.
The apartment smells like coffee.
You limp toward the kitchen on your good foot, using the back of a chair for balance. The ice pack is gone. So is Jack.
But on the counter—neatly arranged like he planned every inch—is a folded gray hoodie, your left heel (broken but cleaned), a fresh cup of black coffee in a white ceramic mug, and something that stops you cold:
The new CRF logbook.
Printed. Binded. Tabbed in color-coded dividers. The first page filled out in his slanted, all-caps writing.
At the top: CRF — ALLEGHENY GENERAL EMERGENCY PILOT — 3-WEEK AUDIT REVIEW. In the corner, under “Lead Coordinator,” your name is written in ink.
There’s a sticky note beside it. Yellow. Curling at the edge.
“It works because of you.— J”
You stare at it for a long time.
Not because it’s dramatic. Because it’s not.
Because it’s simple. True.
You pick up the binder, flip to the first log. It’s already halfway filled—dates, codes, outcomes. Jack has been tracking everything. By hand. Every reroute. Every save. Every corner he’s bent back into shape.
And he’s signing your name on every one of them.
You run your fingers over the paper.
Then reach for the mug.
It’s warm. Not fresh—but not cold either. Like he poured it minutes before leaving.
You sip.
And for the first time in weeks—maybe longer—you don’t feel like you're catching up to your own life. You feel placed. Like someone made room for you before you asked.
You limp toward the window, slow and careful, and watch the street below wake up.
The city is still gray. Still loud. But it’s yours now. His, too. Not perfect. Not quiet. But it’s working.
You lean against the frame.
Your chest aches in that unfamiliar, not-quite-painful way that only comes when something shifts inside you—something big and slow and inevitable.
You don’t know what this is yet.
But you know where it started.
On a trauma shift.
In a supply closet.
With a man who saw your strength before you ever raised your voice.
And stayed.
One Month Later — Saturday, 6:41 PM Pittsburgh — Shadyside, near Ellsworth Ave
The sky’s already lilac by the time you get out of the Uber.
The street glows with soft storefront lighting—jewelers locking up, the florist’s shutters halfway drawn, the sidewalk sprinkled with pale pink petals from whatever tree is blooming overhead. The restaurant is tucked between a jazz bar and a wine shop, easy to miss if you’re not looking for it.
But Jack is already there.
Leaning against the doorframe, hands in his pockets, like he doesn’t want to go in without you. He’s in a navy button-down, sleeves pushed up to the elbow, top button undone. He’s not hiding in trauma armor tonight. He looks clean. Rested. Still a little unsure.
You see him before he sees you.
And when he does—when his head lifts and his eyes find you—he stills.
The kind of still that feels like reverence, even if he’d never call it that.
He says your name. Just once. And then:
“You came.”
You smile. “Of course I came.”
“I wasn’t sure.”
You tilt your head. “Why?”
He looks down, breathes out through his nose. “Because sometimes when things matter, I assume they won’t last.”
You step closer.
“They haven’t even started yet,” you murmur. “Let’s go in.”
The bistro is warm. Brick walls. Low ceilings. Candles on every table, their flames soft and steady in small hurricane glass cylinders. There’s a record player spinning something old in the corner—Chet Baker or maybe Nina Simone—and everything smells like rosemary, lemon, and the faintest hint of woodsmoke.
They seat you at a two-top near the back, under a copper wall sconce. Jack pulls out your chair.
You settle in, napkin across your lap, and when you look up—he’s still watching you.
You say, half-laughing, “What?”
He shakes his head. “Nothing.”
You arch a brow.
Jack clears his throat, quiet. “Just… didn’t think I’d ever sit across from you like this.”
You tilt your head. “What did you think?”
“That you’d disappear when the work was done. That I’d keep building alone.”
You soften. “You don’t have to anymore.”
He looks away like he’s holding back too much. “I know.”
The first half of the date is easier than expected.
You talk like people who already know the shape of each other’s silences. He tells you about a med student who called him “sir” and then fainted in a trauma room. You tell him about a client who tried to expense a yacht as “emergency morale restoration.” You laugh. You eat. He lets you try his meal before you ask.
But somewhere between the second glass of wine and dessert, the air starts to shift.
Not tense. Just heavier. Like both of you know you’ve reached the part where you either step closer… or let it stay what it’s always been.
Jack leans back, arm resting on the back of the chair beside him.
He watches you carefully. “Can I ask something?”
You nod.
“Why’d you keep answering when I texted?”
You blink. “What do you mean?”
“I mean—you’re good. Smart. Whole. You didn’t need me.”
You smile. “You’re wrong.”
Jack doesn’t say anything. Just waits. You fold your hands in your lap. “I didn’t need a fixer,” you say slowly. “But I needed someone who saw the same broken thing I did. And didn’t flinch.”
His jaw flexes. His fingers tap the edge of the table. “I flinched,” he says. “At first.”
“But you stayed.”
Jack looks down. Then up again. “I’ve never been afraid of blood,” he says. “Or death. Or screaming. But I’ve always been afraid of this. Of getting used to something that could disappear.”
You exhale. “Then don’t disappear.” It’s not flirty. It’s not dramatic. It’s a promise.
His hand finds the table. Palm open.
Yours moves toward it.
You hesitate. For half a second.
Then place your hand in his.
He closes his fingers around yours like he’s done it a hundred times—but still can’t believe you’re letting him. His voice is low. “I like you.”
“I know.”
“I don’t do this. I don’t—”
“Jack.” You squeeze his hand. He stops talking. “I like you too.”
No rush. No smirk. Just this slow-burning, backlit certainty that maybe—for once—you’re allowed to be wanted in a way that doesn’t burn through you.
Jack lifts your hand. Presses his lips to the back of it—once, then again. Slower the second time.
When he lets go, it’s with a softness that feels deliberate. Like he’s giving it back to you, not letting it go.
You reach for your phone, half on autopilot. “I should call an Uber—”
“Don’t,” Jack says, low.
You pause.
He’s already pulling out his keys. “I’ll drive you home.”
You smile, small and warm.
“I figured you might.”
Saturday — 9:42 PM Your Apartment — East End, Pittsburgh
The hallway feels quieter than usual.
Maybe it’s the way the night sits heavy on your skin—thick with everything left unsaid in the car ride over. Maybe it’s the way Jack keeps glancing over at you, not nervous, not unsure, but like he’s memorizing each second for safekeeping.
You unlock the door and push it open with your shoulder.
Warm light spills out into the hallway—the glow from the lamp you left on, the one by the bookshelf. It’s yellow-gold, soft around the edges, the kind of light that doesn’t ask for anything.
Jack pauses at the threshold.
You watch him watch the room.
He notices the details: the stack of books by the bed. The houseplant you’re not sure is alive. The smell of bergamot and something citrus curling faintly from the kitchen. He doesn’t say anything about it. He just steps inside slowly, like he doesn’t want to ruin anything.
You toe off your shoes by the door. He closes it behind you, quiet as ever. You catch him glancing at your coat hook, at the little ceramic tray full of loose change and paper clips and hair ties.
“You live like someone who doesn’t leave in a rush,” he says softly.
You tilt your head. “What does that mean?”
Jack shrugs. “It means it’s warm in here.”
You don’t know what to do with that. So you smile. And then—like gravity resets—you’re both standing in your living room, closer than you meant to be, without shoes or coats or any buffer at all.
Jack shifts first. Hands in his pockets. He looks down, then up again. There’s something almost boyish in it. Almost shy. “I keep thinking,” he murmurs, “about the moment I almost asked you out and didn’t.”
You swallow. “When was that?”
He steps closer. His voice stays low. “After we wrote the first draft of the protocol. You were sitting in that awful rolling chair. Hair up. Eyes on the screen like the world depended on your next keystroke.”
You laugh, soft.
“I looked at you,” he says, “and I thought, ‘If I ask her out now, I’ll never stop wanting her.’”
Your breath catches.
“And that scared the hell out of me.”
You don’t speak. You don’t need to. Because you’re already reaching for him. And he meets you halfway. Not in a rush. Not in a pull. Just a quiet, inevitable lean.
The kiss is slow. Not hesitant—intentional. His hand finds your waist first, the other grazing your cheek. Your fingers curl into the front of his shirt, anchoring yourself.
You part your lips first. He deepens it. And it’s the kind of kiss that says: I waited. I wanted. I’m here now.
His thumb traces the side of your face like he’s still getting used to the shape of you. His mouth moves like he’s learned your rhythm already, like he’s wanted to do this since the first time you told him he was wrong and made him like it.
He breaks the kiss only to breathe. But his forehead stays pressed to yours. His voice is hoarse.
“I’m trying not to fall too fast.”
You whisper, “Why?”
Jack exhales. “Because I think I already did.”
You press your lips to his again—softer this time. Then pull back enough to look at him. His expression is unguarded. More than tired. Relieved. Like the thing he’s been carrying for years just finally set itself down. You brush your thumb across the line of his jaw.
“Then stay,” you say.
His eyes meet yours. No hesitation.
“I will.”
He follows you to the couch without asking. You curl into the corner, legs tucked beneath you. He sits beside you, arm behind your shoulders, body warm and still faintly smelling of cologne.
You rest your head on his chest.
His hand moves slowly—fingertips tracing light shapes against your spine. You think maybe he’s drawing the floor plan of a life he didn’t think he’d ever get.
Neither of you speak. And for once, Jack doesn’t need words.
Because here, in your living room, under soft lighting and quiet, and the hum of a city that never quite sleeps—you’re both still.
And neither of you is leaving.
Sunday – 6:58 AM Your Apartment – East End, Pittsburgh
It’s still early when the light begins to stretch.
Not sharp. Not the kind that yells the day awake. Just a slow, honey-soft glow bleeding in through the blinds—brushed gold along the floorboards, the edge of the nightstand, the collar of the shirt tangled around your frame.
It smells like sleep in here. Like warmth and cotton and skin. You’re not alone. You feel it before your eyes open: the quiet sound of someone else breathing. The weight of a hand resting loosely over your hip. The warmth of a body curved behind yours, chest to spine, legs tucked close like he was worried you’d get cold sometime in the night.
Jack.
Your heart gives a small, guilty flutter—not from regret. From how unreal it still feels. His arm shifts slightly. He inhales. Not quite awake, but moving toward it. You keep your eyes closed and let yourself be held.
Not because you need protection. Because being known—this fully, this gently—is rarer than safety.
The bedsheets are half-kicked off. Your shared body heat turned the room muggy around 3 a.m., but now the chill has crept back in. His nose is tucked against the crook of your neck. His stubble has left faint irritation on your skin. You could point out the way his foot rests over yours, how he must’ve hooked it there subconsciously, anchoring you in place. You could point out the weight of his hand splayed across your ribcage, not possessive—just there.
But there’s nothing to say. There’s just this. The shape of it. The way your body fits his. You shift slightly beneath his arm and feel him breathe in deeper.
Then—“You’re awake,” he murmurs, his voice sleep-rough and warm against your skin.
You nod, barely. “So are you.”
He lets out a quiet hum. The kind people make when they don’t want the moment to change. You turn in his arms slowly. He doesn’t fight it. His hand slips to your lower back as you roll, fingers still curved to hold. And then you’re facing him—cheek to pillow, inches apart.
Jack Abbot is never this soft.
He blinks the sleep out of his eyes, messy hair pushed back on one side, face creased faintly where it met the pillow. His mouth is slightly open. There’s a dent at the base of his throat where his pulse beats slow and steady, and you watch it without shame.
His eyes search yours. “I didn’t know if you’d want me here in the morning,” he says.
You reach up, touch a lock of hair near his temple. “I think I wanted you here more than I’ve wanted anything in weeks.”
That gets him. Not a smile. Something quieter. Something grateful. “I almost left at five,” he admits. “But then you turned over and said my name.”
You blink. “I don’t remember that.”
“You said it like you were still dreaming. Like you thought I might disappear if you stopped saying it.”
Your throat catches. Jack reaches up, runs a thumb under your cheekbone. “I’m not going anywhere,” he says.
You rest your forehead against his. “I know.”
Neither of you move for a while.
Eventually, he shifts slightly and kisses your jaw. Your temple. Your nose. When his lips brush yours, it’s not a kiss. Not yet. It’s just a touch. A greeting. A promise that he’ll wait for you to move first.
You do.
He kisses you slowly—like he’s checking if he can keep doing this, if it’s still allowed. You kiss him back like he’s already yours. And when it ends, it’s not because you pulled away.
It’s because he smiled against your mouth.
You shift again, stretching your limbs gently. “What time is it?”
Jack rolls slightly to glance at the clock. “Almost seven.”
You hum. “Too early for decisions.”
“What decisions?”
“Like whether I should make breakfast. Or pretend we’re too comfortable to move.”
Jack tugs you a little closer. “I vote for the second one.”
You laugh against his chest. His hand strokes up and down your spine in lazy, slow passes. Nothing rushed. Just skin and warmth and quiet.
It’s a long time before either of you try to get up. When you do, it’s because Jack insists on coffee.
You sit on the bed, cross-legged, blanket pooled around your waist while he pads around the kitchen in boxers, hair a mess, your fridge open with a squint like he’s trying to understand your milk choices.
“I have creamer,” you call.
“I saw. Why is it in a mason jar?”
“Because I dropped the original bottle and couldn’t get the lid back on.”
Jack just laughs and pours two mugs—one full, one halfway. He brings yours first. “Two sugars?”
You blink. “How did you know?”
“You stirred your coffee five times the other day. I watched the way your face changed after the second packet.”
You squint. “You remember that?”
Jack shrugs, eyes soft. “I remember you.”
You take the cup. Your fingers brush. He leans in and kisses the top of your head. The apartment smells like coffee and him. He stays all morning. You don’t notice the time pass.
But when he kisses you goodbye—long, lingering, forehead pressed to yours—you don’t ask when you’ll see him next.
Because you already know.
Friday – 12:13 AM Your Apartment — East End, Pittsburgh
You’re awake, but just barely.
Your laptop is dimmed to preserve battery, the spreadsheet on screen more muscle memory than thought. You’d told yourself you'd finish reconciling the quarterly vendor ledger before bed, but your formulas have started to blur into one long row of black-and-white static.
There’s half a glass of Pinot on your coffee table. You’re in an old sweatshirt and socks, glasses slipping down the bridge of your nose. The only light in the apartment comes from the kitchen—low, golden, humming.
It’s late, but the kind of late you’re used to. And then—three knocks at the door. Not buzzed. Not texted. Not expected.
Three solid, decisive knocks.
You sit up straight. Laptop closed. Glass down. Your feet find the floor with a soft thud as you cross the room. The locks click one by one. You look through the peephole and your heart stumbles.
Jack.
Black scrubs. Blood dried along his collar. One hand braced against your doorframe, as if he needed the structure to hold himself up.
You don’t hesitate. You open the door. He looks at you like he’s not sure he should’ve come. You step aside anyway.
“Come in.”
Jack crosses the threshold slowly, like someone walking into a church they haven’t set foot in since the funeral. He doesn’t speak. Doesn’t kiss you. Doesn’t offer a greeting. His movements are mechanical. His body’s tight.
He stands in the middle of your living room, beneath the soft spill of light from the kitchen, and doesn’t say a word.
You shut the door. Turn toward him.
“Jack.”
His eyes lift to yours. He looks wrecked. Not bleeding. Not broken. Just… done. And yet still trying to hold it all together. You take one step forward.
“I lost a kid,” he says, voice gravel-thick. “Tonight.”
You go still.
“She came in from a hit-and-run. Eleven. Trauma-coded on arrival. We got her to the OR. Her BP was gone before the second unit of blood even cleared.”
You don’t interrupt.
“She had these barrettes in her hair. Bright pink. I don’t know why I keep thinking about them. Maybe because they were the only clean thing in the whole room. Or maybe because—” he breaks off, jaw clenched.
You reach for his wrist. He lets you.
“I didn’t want to stop. Even after I knew it was gone. Her mom—” his voice cracks—“she was screaming.”
Your fingers tighten gently around his. He finally looks at you. “I shouldn’t be here.”
“Why?”
“I didn’t want to bring this to you. The blood. The mess. You work in numbers and deadlines. Spreadsheets and order. This isn’t your world.”
“You are.”
That stops him. Jack looks down.
“I didn’t know where else to go.”
You step into him fully now, arms sliding around his back. His hands hover for a moment, unsure.
Then he folds. All at once. His chin drops to your shoulder. One arm tightens around your waist, the other wraps up your back like he’s afraid you might vanish too. You feel it in his body—the way he lets go slowly, like muscle by muscle, his grief loosens its grip on his spine.
You don't rush him. You don’t ask more questions.
You just hold.
It takes him a long time to speak again.
When he does, it’s from the couch, twenty minutes later. He’s sitting with his elbows on his knees, your throw blanket around his shoulders.
You made tea without asking. You’re curled at the other end, knees drawn up, watching him with quiet presence.
“I don’t know how to be this person,” he says. “The one who can’t hold it all.”
You sip from your mug. “You don’t have to hold it alone.”
Jack lets out a sound that’s not quite a laugh. “You say that like it’s easy.”
You set the mug down. Shift closer.
“You patch up people who never say thank you. You hold their trauma in your hands. You drive home alone with someone else’s blood on your shirt. And then you pretend none of it touches you.”
He looks over at you.
“It touches you, Jack. Of course it does.”
He doesn’t respond. You reach for his hand. Laced fingers. “I don’t need you to be okay right now.”
His shoulders drop slightly. You lean into him, resting your head on his arm.
“You can fall apart here,” you say, voice low. “I know how to hold weight.”
Jack breathes in like that sentence pulled something loose in his chest. “You were working,” he says after a beat. “I shouldn’t have come.”
You look up. “I audit grants for a living. I’ll survive a late ledger.”
He smiles, barely. You move your hand to his jaw, thumb brushing the stubble there.
“I’m glad you came here.”
He leans forward, presses his forehead to yours. “Me too.”
He kisses you once—slow, still tasting like exhaustion—and when he pulls back, it feels like the world has shifted a half-inch left.
You don’t say anything else. You just get up, take his hand, and lead him down the hallway.
You fall asleep wrapped around each other.
Jack’s head pressed between your shoulder and collarbone. Your legs tangled. Your arm around his middle. And for the first time in hours, his breathing evens out. He doesn’t flinch when the siren howls down the block. He doesn’t wake from the sound of your radiator clanking.
He stays still.
Safe.
And when you wake hours later to the soft grey of morning just beginning to yawn over the windowsill—Jack is already looking at you. Eyes soft. Brow relaxed.
“You okay?” you whisper.
He nods. “I will be.”
Jack watches you like he’s learning something new. And for once—he doesn’t try to fix a single thing.
Two weeks after the hard night — Thursday, 9:26 PM Your Apartment — East End, Pittsburgh
The second episode of the sitcom has just started when you realize Jack isn’t watching anymore. You’re curled into the corner of the couch, fleece blanket over your legs, half a container of pad thai balanced precariously on your thigh. Jack’s sitting at the other end, your feet in his lap, chopsticks abandoned, one hand absently rubbing slow circles over your ankle.
His gaze is fixed—not on the TV, not on his food. On you.
You pause mid-bite. “What?”
Jack shakes his head slightly. “Nothing.”
You raise an eyebrow. He smiles. “You’re just… really good at this.”
You blink. “At what? Being horizontal?”
He shrugs. “That. Letting me in. Making room for me in your life. Turning leftovers into dinner without apologizing. Letting me keep my toothbrush here.”
You snort. “Jack, you have a drawer.”
He grins, but it fades slowly. Not gone—just quieter. “I keep waiting to feel like I don’t belong in this. And I haven’t.”
You watch him for a long beat. Then: “Is that what you’re afraid of?”
He looks down. Then back up. “I think I was afraid you’d get bored of me. That you’d realize I’m too much and not enough at the same time.”
Your heart tightens. “Jack.”
But he lifts a hand—like he needs to say it now or he won’t. “And then I came here the other week—falling apart in your doorway—and you didn’t flinch. You didn’t ask me to explain it or shape it or make it easier to hold. You just… held me.”
You set the container down. Jack shifts closer. Takes your foot in both hands now. Thumb moving over your arch, slower than before.
“I’ve spent years patching things. Working nights. Giving the best parts of me to strangers who forget my name. And you—” he exhales—“you made space without asking me to perform.”
You don’t speak. You just listen. And then he says it. Not softly. Not theatrically. Just right.
“I love you.”
You blink. Not because you’re shocked—but because of how easy it lands. How certain it feels.
Jack waits. Your mouth opens—and for a moment, nothing comes out. Then: “You know what I was thinking before you said that?”
He quirks a brow.
“I was thinking I could do this every night. Sit on this couch, eat cold noodles, watch something dumb. As long as you were here.”
Jack’s eyes flicker. You move closer. Take his face in both hands. “I love you too.” You don’t say it like a question. You say it like it’s always been true.
Jack leans in, kisses you once—sweet, grounding, slow. When he pulls back, he’s smiling, but it’s not smug. It’s soft. Like relief. Like home.
“Okay,” he says quietly.
You nod. “Okay.”
Four Months Later — Sunday, 6:21 PM Regent Square — Their First House
There are twenty-seven unopened boxes between the two of you.
You counted.
Because you’re an accountant, and that’s how your brain makes sense of chaos: it gives it a ledger, a timeline, a to-do list. Even now—sitting on the floor of a house that still smells like primer and wood polish—your eyes keep drifting toward the boxes like they owe you something.
But then Jack walks in from the porch, and the air shifts. He’s barefoot, hoodie sleeves pushed up, a bottle of sparkling water dangling from one hand. His hair’s slightly damp from the post-move-in rinse you bullied him into. And there’s something different in his face now—lighter, maybe. Looser.
“You’re staring,” he says.
“I’m mentally organizing.”
Jack drops beside you on the floor, leans his shoulder into yours. “You’re stress-auditing the spice rack.”
“It’s not an audit,” you murmur. “It’s a preliminary layout strategy.”
He grins. “Do I need to leave you alone with the cinnamon?”
You elbow him.
The room around you is full of light. Big windows. A scratched-up floor you kind of already love. The couch is still wrapped in plastic. You’re sitting on the rug you just unrolled—your knees pressed to his thigh, your coffee mug still warm in your hands. There’s a half-built bookcase in the corner. Your duffel bag’s still open in the hall.
None of it’s finished. But Jack is here. And that makes the rest feel possible. He glances around the room. “You know what we should do?”
You look at him, wary. “If you say ‘unpack the garage,’ I’m calling a truce and ordering Thai.”
“No.” He turns toward you, one arm braced across his knee. “I meant we should ruin a room.”
You blink. Then stare. Jack watches your expression shift. You set your mug down slowly. “Ruin?”
“Yeah,” he says casually, totally unaware. “Pick one. Go full chaos. Pretend we can set it up tonight. Pretend we didn’t already work full days and haul furniture and fail to assemble a bedframe because someone threw out the extra screws—”
“I did not—”
He holds up a hand, grinning. “Not important. Point is: let’s ruin one. Let it be a disaster. First night tradition.”
You pause.
Then—tentatively: “You want to… have sex in a room full of boxes?”
Jack freezes. You raise an eyebrow. “Oh my God,” he mutters.
You start laughing. Jack covers his face with both hands. “That’s not what I meant.”
“You said ruin a room.”
“I meant emotionally. Functionally.”
You’re still laughing—half from exhaustion, half from how red his ears just went.
“Jesus,” he mutters into his hands. “You’re the one with a mortgage spreadsheet color-coded by quarter and you thought I wanted to christen the house with a full-home porno?”
You bite your lip. “Well, now you’re just making it sound like a challenge.”
Jack groans and collapses backward onto the rug. You follow him. Lay down beside him, shoulder to shoulder. The ceiling above is bare. No light fixture yet. Just exposed beams and white primer. You stare at it for a long beat, side by side. He turns his head. Looks at you.
“You really thought I meant sex in every room?”
You shrug. “You said ruin. I was tired. My brain filled in the blanks.”
Jack snorts. Then rolls toward you, props himself on one elbow. “Would it be that bad if I had meant that?”
You glance at him. He’s flushed. Amused. Slightly wild-haired. You reach up and thread your fingers through the edge of his hoodie.
“I think,” you say slowly, “that it would make for a very effective unpacking incentive.”
Jack grins. “We’re negotiating with sex now?”
You shrug. “Depends.”
He kisses you once—soft and full of quiet mischief. You blink up at him. The room is suddenly still. Warm. Dimming. Gentle. Jack’s smile fades a little. Not gone—just quieter. Real.
“I know it’s just walls,” he says softly, “but it already feels like you live here more than me.”
You frown. “It’s our house.”
He nods. “Yeah. But you make it feel like home.”
Your breath catches. He doesn’t say anything else. Just leans down and kisses you again—this time longer. Slower. His hand curls against your waist. Your body moves with his instinctively. The kiss lingers.
And when he finally pulls back, forehead resting against yours, he whispers, “Okay. Let’s ruin the bedroom first.”
You smile. He stands, offers you a hand. And you follow. Not because you owe him. But because you’ve already decided:
This is the man you’ll build every room around.
One Year Later — Saturday, 11:46 PM The House — Bedroom. Dim Lamp. One Window Open. You and Him.
Jack Abbot is looking at you like he wants to burn through you.
You’re straddling his lap, bare thighs across his hips, tank top riding high, no underwear. His sweatpants are halfway down. Your bodies are flushed, panting, teeth-marks already ghosting along your collarbone. His hands are firm on your waist—not rough. Just present. Like he’s still making sure you’re real.
The window’s cracked. Night breeze slipping in against sweat-slicked skin.
The sheets are kicked to the floor.
You’d barely made it to the bedroom—half a bottle of wine, two soft laughs, one look across the kitchen, and he’d muttered something about being obsessed with you in this shirt, and that was it. His mouth was on your neck before you hit the hallway wall.
Now you're here.
Rocking slow on his cock, bodies tangled, your hand braced on his chest, the other wrapped around the back of his neck.
“Fuck,” Jack groans, barely audible. “You feel…”
“Yeah,” you whisper, forehead pressed to his. “I know.”
You’d always known.
But tonight?
Tonight, it clicks in a way that guts you both.
He’s not thrusting. He’s holding you there—deep and still—like if he moves too fast, the moment will shatter.
He kisses you like a vow.
You can feel how wrecked he is—his hands trembling a little now, his mouth hot and slow on your shoulder, his body not performing but unraveling.
And then he exhales—sharp, shaky—and says:
“I need you to marry me.”
You freeze.
Still seated on him, still connected, your breath caught mid-moan.
“Jack,” you say.
But he doesn’t stop.
Doesn’t even blink.
“I mean it.” His voice is low. Hoarse. “I was gonna wait. Make it a thing. But I’m tired of pretending like this is just… day by day.”
You open your mouth.
He lifts one hand—fumbles behind the nightstand, like he already knew he was going to crack eventually.
And pulls out a ring box.
You blink, heart pounding. “You’re kidding.”
“I’m not.”
He flips it open.
The ring is huge.
No frills. No side stones. Just a bold, clean-cut diamond—flawless, high clarity, set on a platinum band. Sleek. A little loud. But elegant as hell. The kind of thing that says, I know what I want. I’m not afraid of weight.
You blink down at it, still perched on top of him, still pulsing around him.
Jack’s voice drops—tired, exposed. “I know we won’t get married yet. I know we’re both fucking alcoholics. I know we argue over the thermostat and forget groceries and ruin bedsheets we don’t replace.”
Your throat goes tight.
“I know I leave shit everywhere and you color-code spreadsheets because it’s the only way to feel okay. I know you’re steadier than me. Smarter. Better. But I need you to be mine. Fully. Officially. Before I ruin it by waiting too long.”
You look at him—really look.
His eyes are glassy. His hair damp. His lips parted. He looks like he just survived a war and crawled out of it with the only thing that mattered.
You whisper, “You’re not ruining anything.”
He doesn’t flinch.
“Say yes.”
“Jack.”
“I’ll wait. Years, if I have to. I don’t care when. But I need the word. I need the promise.”
You lean forward.
Kiss him slow.
Then lift the ring from the box.
Slide it on yourself, right there, while he’s still inside you. It fits perfectly.
His breath stutters.
You roll your hips—just once.
“Is that a yes?” he asks.
You drag your mouth across his jaw, bite down gently, then whisper: “It’s a fuck yes.”
Jack flips you—moves so fast you gasp, but his hands never leave your skin. He spreads you beneath him like a prayer.
“You gonna come with it on?” he asks, voice wrecked, forehead to yours.
“Obviously.”
“Fucking marry me.”
“I just said yes, idiot—”
“I need to hear it again.”
“I’m gonna marry you, Jack,” you whisper.
His hips drive in deeper, and you sob against his neck. Jack curses under his breath.
You come first. Soaking. Gasping. Shaking under him. He follows seconds later—moaning your name like it’s the only language he speaks.
When he collapses on top of you, still sheathed inside, he’s breathless. Raw.
He lifts your hand. Looks at the ring.
“It’s too big.”
“It’s perfect.”
“You’re gonna hit people with it accidentally.”
“I hope so.”
Jack presses a kiss to your palm, right at the base of the band.
Then, out of nowhere—
“You’re the best thing I’ve ever done.”
You smile, blinking hard.
“You’re the best thing I ever let happen to me.” You hold up your left hand, wiggling your fingers. The diamond flashes dramatically in the low light. “I can’t wait to do our shared taxes with this ring on. Really dominate the IRS.”
Jack groans into your shoulder. “Jesus Christ.”
You laugh softly, kiss the crown of his head.
And somewhere between his chest rising against yours and the breeze cooling the sweat on your skin, you realize:
You’re not scared anymore.
You’re home.
#jack abbot#jack abbot x reader#shawn hatosy#dr abbot#the pitt fanfiction#the pitt#the pitt x reader#jack abbot fanfiction#dr abbot x you#dr abbot x reader#the life we grew#fanfiction#fluff#the pitt hbo
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Tiny Blades and Big Chaos”
aka: Danny vs. Damian: Politeness vs. Precision, Featuring Ghost Tricks and Sibling Rivalry
It was Alfred’s idea, of course.
“Master Daniel seems rather adept at handling himself,” he said, very reasonably. “A joint sparring session with Master Damian might help them… bond.”
Vlad had sputtered. “Bond? Bond over what? Hidden knives and bloodlust?!”
“Yes,” said Alfred, calm as ever. “Precisely.”
Wayne Manor Training Room, 9:00 AM
The Batkids lined the edges of the mat like kids waiting for recess drama. Jason brought popcorn. Tim had his tablet recording. Steph was live-texting Cass with updates. Dick had his camera ready and a big brother grin on his face like this is gonna be great.
Damian stood at the center of the mat, wooden sword in hand, the sharpness in his eyes making up for the lack of steel. “You are not a trained assassin,” he said flatly, glaring at Danny. “This will not be gentle.”
Danny smiled, still in his hoodie and sweats, holding a practice staff Alfred handed him. “That’s okay. I’m kinda hard to kill.”
Damian narrowed his eyes. “We’ll see.”
Bruce, from the sidelines, muttered to Vlad, “This’ll go fine.”
Vlad whispered back, “This is a war crime waiting to happen.”
Round One: Damian Attacks First
Damian moved like lightning—precise, deadly, fast. His wooden sword swung for Danny’s side, a feint to the legs, followed by a spinning strike meant to knock him off balance.
Danny vanished.
Literally. Vanished. A shimmer of light and he phased right through the blade like a friendly ghost playing tag.
“What—?!” Damian turned, just in time to catch Danny gently tapping his shoulder with the staff. “Tag.”
Steph: “OH MY GOD HE GHOSTED THROUGH IT—”
Jason: “Ten bucks says he phases through the floor next.”
Vlad: weeping in the corner “He does this all the time. You’re all just ENCOURAGING HIM.”
Round Two: Damian Gets Serious
“You are not using proper rules of engagement,” Damian growled.
“I’m literally just floating,” Danny said, upside down mid-air. “Not my fault physics loves me.”
“Fight me like a warrior!”
“Okay,” Danny said—and then let the staff drop.
He raised his hands, and a soft, eerie glow covered them. His feet touched the ground. The temperature dipped just a little. Shadows crept a little too long.
“Wanna go full-power?” he asked, still smiling, but something in his voice had changed.
Everyone shut up.
Damian grinned like a tiny feral goblin. “Yes.”
What Followed Could Not Be Legally Described As Training
To summarize:
Danny dodged a flying kick by phasing through a wall and reappearing behind Damian like a horror movie jump scare.
Damian managed to tag Danny across the ribs, earning a respectful, “Nice hit!”
Danny retaliated by sliding through the floor, then popping up behind Damian to ruffle his hair, making him scream in rage.
Cass showed up halfway through, said nothing, and started rating their moves out of 10.
Alfred brought out lemon water and towels like this was completely normal.
Bruce was watching with an expression that said, I need to update our supernatural sparring protocols.
At one point, Danny caught Damian mid-air (after a parkour wall run), gently set him down, and said, “I’m only going easy because Vlad said if I break a Wayne he loses custody.”
“Fight me properly or I will THROW YOU,” Damian roared, red-faced.
Danny giggled.
He giggled.
Afterwards
They were both sweaty, bruised, and grinning like maniacs. Damian sat on the bench, panting, sipping water with a glare that could melt titanium.
“That was acceptable,” he muttered. “You are chaotic and dishonorable. I approve.”
Danny wiped his face with a towel. “Thanks! You fight like my sister’s evil clone. High praise.”
“Can you teach me to phase through walls?”
“Only if you promise not to sneak up on people during 2 AM snack runs.”
“…No promises.”
Jason tossed Danny a granola bar. “Welcome to the family, baby ghost.”
Danny blinked. “Wait, you mean I passed?”
“You suplexed a grown man and survived Damian. You’re in.”
“Officially a Wayne now,” Steph said, taking a picture. “Smile!”
Danny grinned just as Vlad walked in with a cup of tea and despair on his face.
“I leave you alone for one hour. One! What happened?!”
Damian pointed dramatically. “He cheats.”
“He used no blade.”
“He walked through a wall!”
“He told the shadows to ‘wait their turn.’”
Vlad blinked. “That last one actually is new.”
Danny smiled. “It’s a learning environment, Uncle Vlad.”
#dpxdc#jason todd#danny fenton#danny phantom#vlad plasmius#batman#vlad is tired#damian wayne#jason todd is a little shit#timothy drake wayne#danny fenton is a little shit#alfred pennyworth
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how to accidentally catch feelings while baby-sitting a man-child | sylus
synopsis : You were just a quiet, book-loving college student trying to survive academia and avoid emotional damage—until Sylus crashed into your life like a hot, smug hurricane who never left. content : fluff, college!au, sylus being drunk(not really), crackhead energy writing, comedy
It was a Saturday night—which, in your world, meant a sacred ritual of staying in your dorm, reading a good book, and letting Spotify decide your fate with its chaotic shuffle.
A peaceful, introvert’s haven.
Your roommate had long since abandoned you for brighter, sweatier pastures, hollering, “I’m gonna get laid tonight!” as she tottered out in an outfit that could’ve doubled as a napkin.
You’d only offered her a solemn nod and returned to your paperback and playlist, cocooned in your sofa bed like a content little hermit.
Nothing could disturb your peace.
Until something did.
A knock.
You blinked at the door. Once. Twice. Frowned. Who knocks past 10 p.m.? Who dares?
Your mind immediately went to one person—your best friend, Sylus. The same Sylus who had texted earlier, bragging about some frat party he was going to “grace with his presence.” You had rolled your eyes then.
You were rolling them again now.
Still, you peeled yourself from the embrace of your blankets with a martyred sigh.
“Coming,” you muttered like a wronged Victorian heroine.
And there he was.
Sylus, leaning on your doorframe like a drunken Greek tragedy. The unmistakable scent of alcohol hit you in the face like an offended slap.
“W-Wha—Sy??” you gasped, arms flailing as you caught his teetering form.
He slumped against you dramatically, mumbling something that suspiciously sounded like “Need… y-you,” into the crook of your neck.
Your entire spine straightened. Goosebumps. Betrayal.
“Again?” you asked, somehow dragging his dead weight into your dorm like a disgruntled EMT.
You dumped him onto the sofa, where he sprawled like a starfish in distress.
“How much did you drink?” you asked, already grabbing your emergency water bottle—standard best-friend-care protocol. You tilted it to his lips.
He tried to drink it sideways.
You sighed, loud and long. “Of course you’re useless.”
His eyes fluttered open just a crack as he sipped at the water, managing to prop himself up with one wobbly arm like he was posing for a very tragic Renaissance painting.
“You’re so… nice,” he slurred, dragging the word out with an attempt at a smirk that looked more like a sleepy grimace.
You exhaled sharply through your nose. “Yeah, yeah. Save the drunk flirting for someone who didn’t just haul your dead weight off the hallway floor.”
This wasn’t your first Sylus Situation.
Probably wouldn’t be your last.
You and Sylus had met on the very first day of college. You’d been an eager, introverted bookworm just trying to get to your dorm before anyone could talk to you.
And then—bam—Sylus. Tall, cocky, and very lost, standing in the middle of the corridor looking as confused as a cat in a swimming pool.
He’d stopped you by physically planting one muscled arm across your path and declaring, with absolute seriousness, “I need help finding the toilet.”
A moment you would never forget, nor forgive.
You had rolled your eyes back then too—but still showed him the way, mostly because he had somehow clamped onto you like a gym-sculpted koala.
To this day, you had no idea why someone at age eighteen had the physique of a Marvel extra, but you had learned not to ask too many questions when it came to Sylus.
Especially when he was drunk and whispering compliments like you were the second coming of hydration.
Now, two years in, you and Sylus were pretty much inseparable.
Not exactly by your choice, of course. He had basically crammed himself into your life like a determined cat forcing its way into a box half its size—and then refused to leave.
Ever.
But you, being the kind-hearted, ever-patient soul that you were cough pushover cough, didn’t really complain. Much.
In his own chaotic way, Sylus had proven… useful.
He was your self-appointed human shield against overly confident frat boys who thought “You read? That’s hot” was a seductive line.
More than once, he’d slung an arm around you and declared, “She’s taken. By academia. Leave her alone.”
You, in turn, had helped him survive the academic hellscape that was calculus. Which mostly meant sitting beside him during study sessions and watching him squint at formulas like they were written in ancient Sumerian.
At one point he tried to bribe you with tacos to do his entire homework.
You took the tacos and still made him do it.
It was an odd, messy sort of friendship. One built on sarcastic banter, mutual blackmail, and late-night ramen runs.
And maybe—just maybe—a little too much unspoken something lingering in the quiet spaces in between.
Like right now, for example.
He blinked blearily at you from your sofa, shirt slightly rumpled, hair a tousled mess, water bottle still clutched like a lifeline.
“You know,” he mumbled, “you’d make a great wife.”
You narrowed your eyes. “Drink your water before I drown you in it.”
He grabs the bottle and downs it in one dramatic go, like he was auditioning for a Gatorade commercial.
Then he thrusts it back at you with all the triumph of someone who just solved world hunger.
“There. I finished it,” he announces, his arm swaying a little as he wobbles in place, clearly very proud of his accomplishment.
You roll your eyes but take the bottle anyway, muttering something under your breath about man-children and alcohol tolerance.
You place it on the table and then, with the kind of exasperated sigh that only comes from long-term best friend duty, plop yourself down next to him on the sofa.
He immediately slouches, his shoulder knocking lightly into yours, like his body had decided it belonged at a thirty-degree angle from yours. You don’t move.
It’s not like this is the first time he’s drunkenly ended up in your space.
Sylus had a talent for turning up half-conscious on your couch like some sort of overgrown housecat that went out, got into a fight, and came back demanding affection and snacks.
Still, as he leaned a bit closer, you caught the faintest scent of his cologne beneath the layers of beer and poor decisions.
That same one he always wore—the one you refused to admit you liked.
He gave a tired little groan and let his head loll toward you. “You’re warm,” he muttered, barely above a whisper. “Like… those fuzzy blankets. But with better insults.”
You blinked. “Thank you, I think?”
He gave a lazy grin, eyes barely open. “Anytime, wifey.”
You smacked his shoulder with a throw pillow.
“OW.”
You had to admit—though only internally, and only under very specific, delusional circumstances—you might have feelings for the guy.
Not that you’d ever admit it out loud. Absolutely not. You’d rather eat a raw onion whole.
Besides, you and Sylus were practically heaven and earth. He walked through campus like he owned the place, girls tripping over their own feet just to bat their lashes at him. Your dorm mate had been one of them, once.
Keyword, once.
That ended the moment she got bold and tried to drape herself all over him like a weighted blanket in heat.
Sylus, being the tactful gentleman he was, had responded by physically lifting her off and shoving her away with all the grace of a bouncer at closing time.
She hit the floor with a squeak and a very visible bruise forming on her hip.
You’d been mortified.
While Sylus looked mildly annoyed, you were busy apologizing profusely, scrambling to help her up while simultaneously smacking him on the arm.
“What is wrong with you?” you’d hissed.
“She was being gross,” he’d replied simply, like that was an acceptable answer. “And touching me.”
“She’s a human being, not a leech!”
“A touchy leech,” he muttered, unfazed.
That was the thing with Sylus.
He never asked to be popular. Girls just looked at him like he was the answer to all their bad decisions.
But you? You were the one dragging him by the ear out of messes he caused. The one making excuses.
The one covering for him when he showed up drunk or bailed on class or told a professor their quiz “was an act of violence.”
You were the constant.
And somehow, in a very twisted way, you were okay with that. Even if your feelings stayed buried beneath layers of sarcasm and very loud sighs.
Especially now, when he was leaning half-asleep on your shoulder, muttering something about you smelling like books and cinnamon and safety.
And damn it, you liked that too much.
Your expression softened despite yourself when you heard the soft, steady rhythm of Sylus snoring.
He had slumped a little more against your shoulder, completely out cold now, mouth slightly parted in the most annoyingly adorable way.
With a small sigh, you leaned forward, grabbing the throw blanket from the armrest and carefully draping it over both your laps. He didn’t stir.
Just exhaled, warm and slow against your collarbone.
You reached for your book again, flipping back to the page you had abandoned during The Great Drunken Entry of Sylus.
And then, as if summoned by the universe purely to torment you, your Spotify decided to betray you.
Under the Influence by Chris Brown began to play.
Your heart dropped straight to your stomach.
“Oh, no,” you whispered like you were in a horror movie and the killer had just creaked open the door.
Because you remembered the last time this song had come on while Sylus was drunk—less drunk than tonight, unfortunately.
That time, he had turned to you, eyes low and voice deep, and said with a completely straight face, “This song represents the things I want to do to you.”
You had choked on your drink. He had passed out shortly after.
You had spent three business days trying to pretend it never happened.
And yet, for some completely inexplicable reason, you never removed the song from your playlist.
Why?
That was a question for your therapist.
You shot a nervous glance at Sylus’s sleeping form. He twitched a little, mumbling something unintelligible.
“No, no, no, no,” you whispered under your breath. “Don’t you dare wake up.”
He let out a soft sigh.
You stared at your phone, debating if skipping the song would be too loud and risk waking him.
You decided to risk it.
Your finger hovered—then paused.
Because deep down, despite your better judgment, part of you wanted to hear what he might say if he woke up again.
And that was the real betrayal.
You scrambled through your playlist like a woman on a mission, muttering curses at your past self while frantically searching for something—anything—less incriminating than Chris Brown.
Eventually, you landed on something soft and unassuming, a gentle acoustic ballad that sounded like it belonged in a rainy café montage.
Peace.
At last.
You settled back in, the weight of Sylus still warm beside you, blanket tucked around your legs, your book finally resting in your hands again.
You exhaled slowly.
And then, without warning, the air was violently knocked out of your lungs.
“Wha—!”
One second you were comfortably seated.
The next, Sylus had flipped you flat on your back, your book flying out of your hands with a soft thud.
A startled yelp escaped your throat, legs tangled in the blanket, brain scrambling to catch up to the fact that you had just been ambushed.
He hovered over you, forearms braced on either side of your head, eyes half-lidded but open—definitely awake now. Great.
“Sylus!” you hissed, face heating. “What the hell?!”
“Shhh,” he murmured, voice low and hoarse, like he hadn’t fully emerged from dreamland yet. “You moved.”
“I was reading.”
He blinked slowly, eyes flickering across your face with an intensity that made your breath catch.
Then he mumbled, almost like a confession, “Thought you left.”
Your heart stuttered.
“I—Sylus, I live here.” You tried to squirm, but he just shifted closer, lowering himself so his forehead bumped gently against yours.
“You smell like lavender,” he whispered.
You were going to die. Right here. Of cardiac arrest and secondhand embarrassment.
“And books,” he added softly, eyes fluttering shut again. “You smell like home.”
Your hands hovered awkwardly in the air, unsure whether to shove him off or pull him closer.
You did neither.
Because the worst part?
You liked hearing that more than you should’ve.
“Why are you… so cute?” he slurs, eyes glassy and unfocused, his breath warm against your lips.
You barely had time to process the question—if it was a question—before he leaned in and slammed his lips against yours with all the grace and coordination of someone who definitely shouldn’t be operating heavy machinery.
Your brain short-circuited.
Yep. He’s super drunk tonight.
It wasn’t even a kiss, really.
More like a very committed face-plant. His lips mashed clumsily against yours, all instinct and zero finesse, like his drunk brain had gone, “Target acquired—initiate smooch protocol.”
You froze. Arms still mid-air. Eyes wide. Mind absolutely screaming.
It lasted all of two seconds before he let out a satisfied little hum and promptly collapsed against you like a human pancake, burying his face into the crook of your neck as if the kiss had been a casual prelude to nap time.
“…Seriously?” you croaked.
No response. Just light snoring and a very warm, very solid Sylus draped across your body.
You stared at the ceiling.
This was fine. Everything was fine.
You were definitely not blushing.
Not still feeling the ghost of his lips against yours.
Not wondering why the hell your heart was racing like you’d just run a marathon.
Nope.
Totally. Fine.
—•
The next morning, sunlight peeked through the blinds, warm and accusing. You blinked groggily, only to realize that your limbs were pinned.
Sylus was still slumped against your body, face buried in your shoulder, arm thrown around your waist like a weighted blanket with abandonment issues.
He was out, dead to the world, breathing softly like last night hadn’t been a whole fever dream.
You stared at him for a long moment.
Then, very carefully—like you were defusing a bomb—you began to wiggle out from under him.
One leg. Then the other.
You held your breath as you slipped free, standing over him like some war-weary survivor of battle. He didn’t stir.
Honestly, you were impressed. You could have probably vacuumed the room and he’d still be there, drooling peacefully.
You didn’t have time to process it. Class was calling.
And you had never gotten ready so fast.
By the time you made it to your seat, slightly out of breath and still pulling your hoodie over your head, your mind was already spiraling.
The lecture blurred into a series of droning syllables you couldn’t quite absorb.
Because God, you hoped he didn’t remember.
If he did—if he looked at you with that signature smirk and said anything about last night—your soul might physically evacuate your body.
You kept your head down, notebook open but blank, your pen frozen mid-air.
And still, your thoughts wandered.
Back to the feel of his lips on yours—sloppy, warm, unexpected.
Back to the sound of his voice, low and slurred, calling you cute like it was a sin he couldn’t forgive.
Back to the way your heart had reacted like it was hearing something it had been waiting for.
Your teeth grazed your bottom lip, and before you could stop yourself, you caught it gently between them. Just to see if you could remember.
And—damn it—you could.
Which was exactly the problem.
Class ended faster than you realized.
One moment you were lost in a daze of accidental kisses and existential dread, the next, students were filing out around you and your professor was reminding everyone about next week’s quiz that you absolutely did not hear.
You packed your stuff in record time and bolted, telling yourself you’d walk it off. Or compartmentalize. Or, ideally, both.
It was a crisp morning, birds chirping, sun shining, world spinning just fine without dragging your dignity behind it. You were just starting to calm down, your feet falling into a steady rhythm along the pavement, when—
An arm slung over your shoulder.
You stiffened like someone had just hit your internal panic button.
“Thanks for not waking me,” came a familiar, smug voice from your right, laced with far too much amusement for someone who had been drooling on your hoodie six hours ago.
You turned your head slowly—like in a horror film—and there he was.
Sylus.
Disheveled but well-rested. Hair tousled. Hoodie slightly crooked on his frame.
Looking every bit like someone who had zero regrets and somehow still got eight hours of sleep.
And worse?
He was smirking.
You stared at him.
He stared back.
Then you exhaled, long and slow, a rush of relief loosening your spine. “So… you don’t remember anything?” you asked as casually as you could.
His smirk deepened. “Nope.”
You nodded, clutching your bag a little tighter. “Good. Great. Fantastic.”
He glanced sideways at you, amusement dancing in his eyes. “You look tense,” he said, as if you weren’t actively reliving one of the most unhinged nights of your life.
You kept your face blank. “Do I?”
“Mm-hm.” He leaned in slightly. “We didn’t do anything weird, did we?”
Your soul briefly tried to exit your body.
You cleared your throat, gaze fixed straight ahead. “Define weird.”
Sylus chuckled, his grip around your shoulders tightening playfully. “Knew I could count on you to protect my innocence.”
You resisted the urge to shove him into a bush.
Because he didn’t remember.
And maybe that was for the best.
Right?
—•
Later that afternoon, Sylus had peeled himself away from your side with his usual casual flair, stretching like a cat and shooting you a wink over his shoulder.
“Got a date,” he’d called, walking backward with that insufferable grin. “Don’t miss me too much!”
You managed a forced smile, waving him off like it was no big deal.
But it was.
Because the moment he turned the corner, a sharp, unwelcome pang bloomed in your chest. It wasn’t jealousy—not exactly.
Just… something heavy. Something tight.
Something you couldn’t name without digging into places you weren’t quite ready to go.
You sighed, long and low, and forced your feet toward your next class, pretending that maybe you’d feel better if you just kept moving.
Spoiler, you didn’t.
Classes passed in a blur, lectures droning like white noise in the background.
You tried to focus, really, but your mind kept drifting—back to last night, back to his weight against you, his breath on your neck, the taste of his lips.
Back to the way he didn’t remember.
And now here he was, out on a date, completely unaware of the emotional chaos he’d left you in.
You returned to your dorm that night with your brain fried and your heart somewhere under your shoe.
You flopped onto your bed face-first, ready to disappear into the mattress forever, when your phone buzzed.
Sy: getting drunk again tonight lol
You groaned, dragging your pillow over your head like it could block out both the light and your bad decisions. You tossed your phone aside with more force than necessary.
“He better not come here again tonight,” you muttered to yourself.
But even as you said it… a tiny, traitorous part of you kind of hoped he would.
And that was the worst part.
Of course he did.
Because why wouldn’t he?
You stared at the door for a solid five seconds after the knock. It was almost comedic at this point.
Like the universe had a twisted sense of humor and Sylus was its favorite punchline.
You dragged yourself up, already exhausted before you even turned the knob.
And there he was.
Leaning casually against the doorframe like he hadn’t been out on a date just hours ago, like he hadn’t already hijacked your emotional equilibrium last night.
The now-familiar scent hit you immediately—his signature cologne, warm and clean, now drowned under the unmistakable sting of alcohol.
Not subtle this time.
He smelled like he’d gone swimming in a cocktail shaker.
He grinned at you, lazy and lopsided. “Hey, wifey.”
You stared at him. Blinked once.
Then sighed. “I literally said, ‘He better not come here again tonight.’”
He tilted his head. “But I always come here.”
You resisted the urge to bang your head against the doorframe. “You have a room. A perfectly good room.”
“But yours has you in it,” he said, like it was the most logical argument in the world.
And just like that, your heart did the thing again—the flutter, the ache, the full-body sigh of someone dangerously close to caring too much.
You stepped aside wordlessly, letting him stumble in and flop onto the sofa with all the grace of a drunk swan.
He missed the armrest entirely and groaned into your throw pillow.
You closed the door.
“Don’t throw up on anything,” you warned.
“Never,” came his muffled reply. “I have standards.”
You rolled your eyes. “Sure you do.”
As you fetched the water bottle—again, you glanced over at him. Hair a mess, face flushed, shoes still on.
And yet, somehow, despite it all—despite the alcohol and the chaos and the absolutely maddening way he lived inside your head—he still looked like home.
And that was the problem.
You sighed—again—and knelt beside the sofa, already in caretaker mode. It was routine now. Predictable. You unscrewed the cap of the water bottle with one hand and gently lifted it to his lips, not even bothering to ask this time.
But tonight was different.
Because he didn’t drink.
He didn’t even move.
He just stared at you.
Silent. Still.
Your brows furrowed as you held the bottle there, confused. “Sylus,” you said softly, nudging the rim against his bottom lip.
Still nothing.
You looked up, properly meeting his gaze—and froze.
He wasn’t out of it this time. His eyes, though glassy, were clear. Awake. Watching you with an intensity that made your breath hitch.
Your hand slowly lowered the bottle.
“What?” you asked, voice barely above a whisper.
His head tilted slightly against the pillow, eyes never leaving yours. “You were biting your lip in class today.”
You blinked. “Wha—how do you even—?”
“I wasn’t that drunk,” he murmured, almost like an apology.
Your heart dropped.
He remembered.
He remembered.
The kiss. The things he said. The way he collapsed on you like you were something he could fall into without consequence.
He remembered everything.
Your voice caught in your throat. You straightened up a little, putting distance between you. “You said you didn’t remember.”
He smiled faintly. “I lied.”
And just like that, the air shifted—heavy, warm, dangerous. The room felt smaller. Your heart louder.
You didn’t know what to say. So you didn’t.
You just stared back, bottle still in your hand, feeling everything you’d tried to bury clawing its way to the surface.
He sat up with a sigh, rubbing a hand through his hair as if he could shake off the tension clinging to the air between you.
You watched him closely, bottle still in your hand, heartbeat pounding like a warning.
Then he looked at you—really looked at you—and said quietly, “I didn’t go on a date.”
Your brows lifted.
“I didn’t even drink tonight.”
That made you pause.
You stared at him, eyes narrowing slightly. And?
Your expression said it all. So?
He shifted, leaning forward, elbows on his knees, fingers interlaced like he needed something to hold onto.
His frown deepened, not from annoyance but from something far more raw.
“Don’t you get it?” he asked, voice softer now—less teasing, more real.
You blinked.
No smirk. No sarcasm.
Just Sylus, stripped of his usual bravado, staring at you like he didn’t know what else to say—like the weight of what he felt had finally grown too heavy to carry without showing it.
And suddenly, everything felt louder.
The silence. The breath you didn’t take. The confession waiting just on the other side of his words.
Because maybe… you did get it.
You just weren’t sure you were ready to.
He groaned, dragging a hand down his face in frustration like he couldn’t believe he was having to spell it out.
“Come here,” he muttered under his breath—low, almost like he didn’t mean for you to hear it.
But before you could even react, his hands were on either side of your face, warm and certain, pulling you toward him.
And then—he kissed you.
Not like last night.
Not messy or sudden or slurred with alcohol and adrenaline.
This kiss was different.
It was gentle. Intentional. His lips moved slowly against yours, like he was trying to say everything he hadn’t had the courage to say out loud.
Like he wanted you to feel it—feel him.
There was no rush. No stumble. Just soft, quiet honesty.
Your hands, unsure at first, slowly rose to grip the front of his shirt. His thumb brushed along your cheek, steadying you, grounding you.
And for a moment, the noise in your head stopped.
No questions. No what-ifs. Just the feeling of him—real, solid, and heartbreakingly tender.
When he finally pulled away, barely an inch, his forehead rested lightly against yours, breath mingling with yours in the stillness between you.
“I remember everything,” he whispered.
“And I meant all of it.”
“I’ve liked you for a long time.”
The words settled between you like something fragile and warm, and terrifyingly real.
You barely had time to absorb them before he sighed, shaking his head with a look that was equal parts fond and exasperated.
“For someone who’s considered a nerd,” he muttered, thumb brushing against your cheek again, “you’re so stupid.”
Your jaw dropped slightly. “Excuse me?”
He gave you a look—the one that always came right before he said something that would both annoy and fluster you to death.
“You seriously didn’t notice? Two years of me practically living in your room, fending off every guy who looked at you twice, ‘accidentally’ falling asleep on your shoulder, telling you a Chris Brown song described what I wanted to do to you—”
“I thought you were drunk!” you hissed, flushing.
“I was,” he admitted, smirking. “But that doesn’t mean I was lying.”
You stared at him, heart a riot in your chest.
He leaned in again, voice softer now.
“I liked you even before I knew what to call it. When you helped me find the toilet on the first day, and I thought, ‘Well. That’s it. Guess I’m not letting her go now.’”
You blinked, wide-eyed. “That was… the first day of college.”
“Exactly.” He grinned, nose brushing yours. “And you’re just now catching up?”
You opened your mouth to argue. Nothing came out.
He laughed under his breath, pressing another kiss to the corner of your mouth. “God, you’re lucky you’re cute.”
You were still staring at him, wide-eyed, frozen in the moment like your brain had blue-screened.
Your mouth opened. Nothing came out.
You had so many things to say, but your thoughts were tripping over each other in the hallway of your mind, arms full of emotional baggage.
He just chuckled.
Low. Warm. Smug.
That infuriating smirk curved at the corner of his lips again, the one that always spelled trouble and somehow still made your heart flutter.
“You really are slow,” he murmured, tilting his head. “Guess I’ll just have to make it clearer.”
And before you could process that ominous statement—
He kissed you again.
But this time, it wasn’t sweet or tentative.
This kiss was deeper. Hotter.
Full of all the pent-up feelings he clearly hadn’t been hiding as well as you thought.
He pressed you back into the sofa, one hand cradling the side of your face while the other slid around your waist like he already knew he belonged there.
You gasped softly against his mouth, fingers fisting in the fabric of his shirt, body reacting faster than your brain could.
And he groaned—low in his throat, like just the sound of you was enough to unravel him.
He pulled back only a breath’s distance, lips barely brushing yours, voice rough. “Still think I’m joking?”
You couldn’t think at all.
And maybe, for once, that was okay.
You didn’t answer him.
You couldn’t.
Because the second your breath hitched, the second your lips parted like you might say something—he kissed you again.
And this time, it wasn’t hesitant.
It was consuming.
All heat and hunger and tension finally unraveling between two people who had been orbiting each other for far too long.
Sylus pressed you further into the cushions, his body aligned with yours like he belonged there. Like this had always been inevitable.
His hand slid from your waist to your hip, fingers curling just enough to make you shiver, while his mouth moved against yours with growing urgency—soft and then firm, teasing then demanding.
Your hands were in his hair before you even realized, pulling him closer, needing more. He groaned into the kiss, low and strained, like he’d been holding himself back for too long.
“You drive me crazy,” he murmured against your lips, his voice rough with restraint. “Always walking around in those stupid sweaters, acting like you don’t know what you do to me.”
You whimpered as his mouth trailed along your jaw, down the slope of your neck, finding that spot just below your ear that made your back arch slightly into him. His name slipped out of you before you could stop it—breathy, half-plea, half-warning.
He stilled for half a second, like he needed to hear it again.
“Sylus,” you whispered, and just like that, the last thread of control snapped.
His hands were under your sweater now, fingers splayed across your waist, not rushing—just feeling. Like he wanted to memorize you. Commit every inch of you to memory.
You gasped when his lips found yours again, this time slower, deeper. As if he were trying to tell you something he didn’t quite know how to say.
And in between every kiss, every breath, every graze of skin, you heard it loud and clear.
I want you.
I’ve always wanted you.
Only you.
You broke the kiss with a gasp, lips tingling, chest rising and falling in quick, uneven breaths.
Your hands were still fisted in his shirt, your bodies still pressed close, but you needed a second—needed to breathe. Because what the hell just happened?
“Holy shit,” you whispered, voice raw and dazed.
Sylus stilled, eyes searching yours, flushed and breathless. “Too much?”
You shook your head, still trying to catch your breath. “No. I just…”
Your brows furrowed, a stunned laugh escaping you.
“I’ve been walking around thinking you didn’t feel the same for two years?” you said, incredulous, voice cracking on the last word.
Sylus blinked, then tilted his head slightly, a small, helpless smile tugging at his lips. “You seriously didn’t know?”
“You hid it ridiculously well!”
“I practically moved into your dorm.”
“You ate my snacks and called me wifey. That’s not a confession, that’s just being annoying.”
He laughed, the sound husky and breathless. “I flirted with you constantly.”
“I thought that was just your default setting! You flirt with the barista.”
“I don’t press her against the sofa and kiss her like I’m about to lose my mind,” he muttered, his voice low, his thumb brushing along your jaw. “Only you.”
Your heart clenched, hard.
The air between you shifted again, softer now—less fire, more gravity.
He leaned in, resting his forehead against yours. “You really didn’t know?”
“I didn’t want to know,” you whispered, eyes fluttering shut. “I thought… if I hoped too much, I’d ruin it.”
His fingers curled gently around the side of your neck, grounding you. “You didn’t ruin anything.”
You opened your eyes and found him looking at you like you were the only thing that had ever made sense to him.
“I’ve been yours,” he said quietly, “since the first day you showed me where the toilet was.”
You let out a soft, disbelieving laugh—and kissed him again.
This time, you didn’t stop.
You kissed him like you were catching up on everything you hadn’t let yourself feel.
He kissed you like he’d been waiting for this moment since that first awkward hallway encounter.
There were no more games. No more pretending. Just whispered names and stolen breath, soft laughs between kisses, and the feeling of finally, finally being seen.
By the time you fell asleep tangled in each other on the sofa—his hand on your waist, your head tucked under his chin—it was quiet.
Not the lonely kind.
The peaceful kind.
The kind that only comes when you’ve stopped running from something… and finally let yourself fall.
masterlist
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In this blog post, we will dive into how BPM can enhance your hospitality operations to cultivate premier experiences for guests while achieving further business growth. Learn More...
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5G technology can offer advantages that have the potential to revolutionize the hotel landscape. Let’s take some time to dive deeper into how and why this next-generation wireless technology could have major implications for your business. Read More...
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Global session initiation protocol (SIP) trunking services market is expected to gain market growth in the forecast period of 2022 to 2029. Data Bridge Market Research analyses that the market is growing with the CAGR of 12.5% in the forecast period of 2022 to 2029 and expected to reach USD 26,994.04 million by 2029. Increase in the requirement of quick-decision making process in biotechnology is e expected to drive the growth of the market significantly.
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Why Aren’t You Sweating, You Menace?
Summary: You cannot handle this damn heat! You’re cranky, you’re melting, and Bob is not affected. Fuck him for that.
Warning: nothing really just sass and fluff
You felt like you were on fire.
You. Were. Melting.
You had to be in hell. An actual physical hell. The kind with sticky skin, thigh burn, the hum of three fans going at once, and the deep betrayal of your own body producing sweat just from breathing.
And of course, there was Bob just standing in the doorway of your bedroom, all golden skin and smug, sipping casually from a glass of ice water like some kind of air-conditioned Greek god. Not a single bead of sweat on him.
You sat up, squinting through the heat haze, and glared. “Why are you like this?”
He blinked. “Like what?”
You gestured at him wildly. “This. All fresh. All dry. All golden. All smug. Are you secretly refrigerating your blood?”
Bob glanced down at himself, completely unbothered. “I’m just not that hot.”
“I’m going to beat you up.”
He laughed, that bastard, and strolled over to toss you a cold water bottle like he wasn’t committing a personal hate crime. “I’m literally trying to help you survive.” You caught the bottle and pressed it to your neck with a dramatic groan. “You're a menace. An untouchable, heat-immune menace.” Bob leaned against the dresser, shirtless and glowy like a summer beer commercial. “I think you meant to say hero.”
You gave him a flat look. “No, I meant a heat demon sent to mock me.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Didn’t realize my body temp was a relationship dealbreaker.”
“It is when I have to sleep next to a damn radiator. You rolled over last night and I almost had a heatstroke. I thought I was dying. I saw light.” Bob walked over, kneeling beside the bed, eyes full of that infuriatingly soft affection. “Babe. Sweetheart. Love of my life. You’re dramatic.” You yanked the pillow over your face. “Don’t sweet-talk me while I’m actively melting. I will throw you out the window.”
He scoffed, “I’d survive the fall.” Muffled under the pillow “That’s exactly my problem.” He plucked the pillow off your face and smiled down at you. “You’re cute when you’re mad.”
“I’m not mad. I’m boiling. I’m thirty seconds from filing a formal complaint with the sun.” He grinned. “Want me to fly up and punch it for you?” You paused. “…Maybe. Depends how hard you punch.” Bob leaned forward, bracing one arm beside your head as he kissed your forehead. “You’re adorable when you’re cranky.” You rolled your eyes but let your forehead rest against his collarbone. “You’re insufferable.”
“And yet, you love me.” You sighed. “Unfortunately.”
Bob eased you back against the cooling sheets he got gor your shared bed, reaching over to grab a chilled washcloth from the mini freezer he’d installed just for moments like this. He pressed it to your collarbone and you gasped, spine arching off the bed.
“Better?” he asked, smirking.
“Only because you’re finally useful.”
He trailed the cloth slowly down your chest, eyes lingering on every twitch and flinch of relief. “I could be more useful. Want me to cool you down properly?”
You gave him a suspicious side-eye. “Robert.”
“Scientific,” he said solemnly. “Completely medical. I have a whole protocol.”
“You’re impossible.”
“And you’re pretty when you glisten,” he murmured, voice dropping. “All flushed and soft and mad at me.”
You groaned but curled your fingers into his hair anyway, tugging him closer. “Just don’t be all smug about it.”
“I make no promises, darlin’,” he whispered, lips brushing yours. You kissed him--hot and slow and borderline dangerous--and pulled back with a sharp little bite to his lip.
“But if you so much as breathe on me too warmly tonight while I’m trying to sleep--”
“I’ll sleep on the floor,” he swore immediately. “Or in the freezer. I’ll become a popsicle. Blast me with every fan we own.”
“Smart boy,” you muttered, pressing a kiss to his chin.
Bob grinned and kissed your hand. “Anything for my gorgeous, furious, heatstroke petal.”
You narrowed your eyes. “You’re lucky I love you.”
“I really, really am.”
_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_
Later that afternoon, it somehow got worse.
You heard the hum of the refrigerator and wanted to scream. Scratch that; you wanted to live inside the refrigerator. More specifically the freezer, curl up next to the frozen peas. But no. You were a mortal. Trapped in an apartment that felt like Satan’s breath.
And Bob? Of course he was just peachy keeny.
You glared at him from your blanket-less, sheet-less, dignity-less position on the couch. You were laid out starfish-style in a tank top and a pair of his boxers, one leg twitching with irritation.
And Bob...Bob was at the counter drinking tea. Hot tea.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” you snapped. “Tea? Hot tea!? In this weather?”
He blinked, like you weren’t three seconds from violence. “It’s peppermint. Regulates body temp.” You flipped him off without a second glance muttering, “Oh, go regulate this.”
And then--he chuckled.
You sat up so fast the room spun. “Don’t laugh. Don’t you dare laugh while I am actively considering peeling off my skin like a banana.”
He approached slowly, mug in hand, utterly smug. “You seem a little… testy.”
“I am testy,” you growled. “I’m hot, I feel sticky, I’m one centimeter away from insanity, and you-” you jabbed your finger at him-- “are walking around looking all golden like you’re in a goddamn hydration ad.”
He smirked. “Golden, huh?”
“Don’t you dare turn that into a compliment.”
“Wasn’t gonna.” He paused. “Well... Maybe just a little.”
You flopped back with a groan. “I hate summer. I hate you. I hate existing.”
He crouched beside you and set his mug down. “You don’t hate me.”
“Right now? I do. With every overheated cell in my body.”
He pressed the back of his hand to your cheek. “You’re really warm.”
“Gee. Thanks, Sherlock.” You batted his hand away. “Don’t touch me. I’m feral. I will bite.”
He yanked his hand away from you and nodded, “Noted.” You gave him a side glare. He was watching you with that soft, patient look. The one that made your frustration feel valid instead of ridiculous. “Why aren’t you miserable?” you asked, suspicious. “You’re not even sweating.” Bob shrugged. “Superhero perks, got that temperature regulation built in me now.”
“I hate you.”
“You keep saying that.”
“Because it’s still true.”
He grinned, leaned in a little. “You want to yell at me some more, or would you prefer pampering from your golden, heat-resistant boyfriend?” You narrowed your eyes. “Define ‘pampering.’” He pulled out a frozen washcloth and a popsicle. “Tribute from your humble servant.”
“…I still hate you.”
“I can work with that.” He pressed the cloth gently to your neck. You hissed. “Okay. Maybe I won’t bite you yet.” He kissed your temple. “You get like this every time you’re too hot. It’s okay.” You opened one eye. “You mean murderous?” He grinned. “I’d call it something more like…spicy.” You snorted despite yourself, lips curling. “Bob?”
“Yeah?”
“If you even breathe warm air near me tonight-”
He's quick to cut you off with a very understanding nod “I’ll sleep on the balcony. With the ice packs. Hell, I’ll build a shrine to central air gods.” You took the popsicle from his hand and nibbled at it like royalty. “You’re still on thin ice.” He winked. “Oh, what a fitting phrase darlin.”
__-__-__-__-
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I know that this is a common trope in the Spencer Reid fandom but a cliche is popular for a reason and I'd love to see your take on it please:
The BAU finding out Spencer has a girlfriend because he left something/his lunch at home whilst he was getting ready so she comes to his office to deliver it back to him ♡
file — spencer reid
pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader ( no use of y/n ) content warnings: nothing i think a/n: hi hi thank you for your request !! also omg i rewrote this like 3 times
You set your coffee cup down. The ceramic making a sound against the kitchen counter as your breath hitched, Your gaze locked onto the object in front of you.
There it was.
Spencer’s case file.
He never shared too much about his cases—partly because of protocol, but mostly because he wanted to shield you from the horrors he faced daily.
But this one? He had mentioned this one. Briefly. Just enough for you to know it was important.
And now, he had left it here.
You exhaled through your nose, rubbing your temple as you stared at the file.
Well, this was a problem.
Your mind raced through the inevitable sequence of events: Spencer, halfway through his workday, reaching for the file. The sharp inhale as realization struck. The way his fingers would twitch slightly before running through his hair in frustration. He’d mutter something about cognitive failure rates, probably cite a study about memory lapses under stress, and then—inevitably—blame himself. He was hard on himself like that.
But, in all fairness… this was totally your fault.
Oops.
He had barely made it out the door this morning because of you.
Not that you regretted it.
You smiled to yourself, warmth flooding your chest as you remembered.
Spencer hated leaving you in bed alone. You hated being in bed alone. It was a whole thing. A silent agreement, an unspoken rule between the two of you—when morning came, you stretched those precious minutes as long as you could. And today, you had stretched them a little too long.
He had sighed against your hair, murmured something about needing to get up, but his arms hadn’t moved from around you. His body was warm and you had curled closer, pressing a lazy kiss against his collarbone.
“Five more minutes,” you had whispered, voice still thick with sleep. Spencer hummed in response, fingers tracing mindless patterns along your arm. Five minutes had turned into ten, then fifteen…
And, well. Here you were.
Thirty minutes passed. Still no text back from Spencer.
Not that it was unusual.
You had once asked him about his habit of completely ignoring his phone for hours on end, and in true Spencer fashion, he had launched into a full-blown explanation—something about the overuse of mobile devices leading to dependency, the correlation between constant notifications and increased anxiety, and the statistical probability of missing something actually important when bombarded with mundane messages throughout the day.
Point was—Spencer wasn’t glued to his phone. Which meant he likely hadn't even seen your text yet.
You chewed your lip for a moment, the decision hanging in the air.
Well, if Spencer wouldn’t come to you, then you’d go to him.
It seemed like a trip to the BAU was in order.
And if, in the process, you just happened to pick out your favorite outfit before heading out? Well, that was purely coincidental.
It wasn’t like you were nervous or anything.
Okay. Maybe just a little.
Because, despite how long you and Spencer had been together, you’d somehow never officially met his team. You had heard plenty about them—stories from Spencer scattered between sips of coffee, casual mentions of their names, the occasional anecdote about Morgan's pranks or Garcia's teasing. But meeting them in person?
That had never happened.
And if you were about to walk into the BAU for the first time, to meet all of them in one go, all while hand-delivering a file Spencer had forgotten because you’d been too busy keeping him in bed this morning…
Well. You wanted to look nice, at the very least.
So, you’d taken a little extra time to pick out an outfit. Something that felt casual but still put-together.
After a final glance in the mirror, adjusting the hem of your shirt, you grabbed the case file and headed out the door.
By the time you reached the FBI building, you were… okay. Not totally at ease, but you weren’t quite spiraling, either. A small victory, considering the nerves that had been building inside you since you’d left the house.
You checked in at the front desk, received your visitor’s pass, and found yourself standing in front of the elevator. You couldn’t help but tap your foot nervously against the tiled floor, your mind racing with the possibility of meeting everyone.
As you waited, a tall man stepped up beside you. He had dark hair, a sharp jawline, and an air of professionalism.
The elevator chimed, and the doors slid open. The man stepped forward, and you followed.
“What floor?” he asked, his voice calm, his eyes already on the button panel.
“The sixth,” you said.
He nodded, pressing the button. Notably, he didn’t press any other buttons, which meant he was heading to the same place.
The elevator hummed upward. You tried to stay still, but the nerves in your stomach had made their way to your foot, which began tapping again—slightly faster this time, almost involuntarily.
Out of the corner of your eye, you saw him glance down at your foot’s restless rhythm before looking ahead again, his expression still unreadable.
When the elevator doors finally slid open, you both stepped out. As you moved into the hallway, you hesitated, glancing around the space, trying to figure out where Spencer’s desk could be.
Before you could overthink it too much, you turned back toward the man, suddenly realizing you had no idea how to address him.
“Uh—excuse me, sir?” You winced inwardly at your own awkwardness. Sir? Really?
To your relief, he didn’t seem offended. He stopped and turned just slightly, offering you a neutral look, like he was patiently waiting for you to continue.
“Do you, um… know where Spencer Reid works?” you asked quickly, holding up the case file in your hand. “He forgot this at home, and I just—”
You cut yourself off, realizing you were rambling. Oh my god, you were turning into your boyfriend.
The man studied you for a moment, and you felt a wave of heat creep up your neck, suddenly worried that you’d just embarrassed yourself in front of someone important. But then, with a small nod, he answered.
“He’s in the conference room. I’ll take you.”
“Oh. Thank you!” you said, managing to sound more confident than you felt.
Without another word, he turned and began walking. You quickly fell into step behind him, eager to keep up.
As you followed him down the hallway, his words replayed in your mind. Conference room.
Wait. Didn’t that mean—
Oh. Oh no.
The realization hit you like a ton of bricks just as the man ahead of you pushed open a door. He stepped aside, gesturing for you to enter, and you barely had time to collect yourself before walking into the room.
And suddenly, all eyes were on you.
Your stomach dropped.
Around the large conference table sat several people, each of them pausing whatever they were doing to look at you. Some were curious, others confused, but most were simply… staring. And then there was one person who seemed to be completely frozen in shock.
That one, of course, was your wonderful boyfriend.
Spencer Reid sat there, motionless, eyes wide, as though you’d just appeared out of nowhere. His pen was hovering mid-air and his mouth hung slightly open.
You felt your face heat up.
“Uh—hi?” you offered weakly, holding up the file like it was some sort of lifeline.
The man who had led you here—who, at this point, you were very sure was someone important—cleared his throat. His voice was as flat as ever.
“Reid,” he said, his tone unreadable. “Your file.”
Spencer blinked rapidly, snapping out of his trance.
“Right! Right, yes—um, thank you,” he stammered, his voice flustered. He stood so quickly that his chair scraped against the floor, nearly knocking over his coffee , causing you to wince in sympathy.
You stepped forward to hand him the file. The second your fingers brushed against his, you swore you saw the tips of his ears turn the faintest shade of red.
From across the room, a dark-haired woman—who you guessed had to be Emily Prentiss, judging by the barely suppressed smirk tugging at the corners of her mouth—glanced between you and Spencer, her head tilting slightly as she observed the scene.
“So,” she said casually, her voice full of mischief, “you’re the reason he was almost late this morning?”
Your face went hot, and Spencer made a noise somewhere between a cough and a strangled gasp.
Emily’s smirk deepened, and you could practically feel the attention of every single person in the room zeroing in on you and Spencer. The room was so still, you could hear a pin drop.
Even Penelope—who had been in the middle of explaining a case, hands gesturing wildly—had completely abandoned her train of thought. Her mouth dropped open in delighted shock, her eyes widening as she took in the scene.
“Oh my god, is this real?” she squealed, her voice way louder than it probably needed to be. “Reid, my little geeky nerd has a girlfriend?!” Penelope was practically vibrating with excitement. “A very cute girlfriend, I might add!” She made a big show of squinting at you through her oversized glasses. “How did we not know about this?!”
JJ raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued, but Derek—well, Derek looked like it was Christmas morning.
He leaned forward with an expression of pure glee. “Hold up,” he said, grinning ear-to-ear, “Reid, you got yourself a lady and didn’t tell us?”
“I-” Spencer stuttered under his breath, looking like he was actively trying to will himself invisible.
Penelope was practically bouncing on her heels now. “Not just a lady,” she chimed in again, adjusting her glasses dramatically as she looked you over with wide, sparkling eyes. “A very cute lady. Like, ‘I need to know everything about you’ cute! How did you two keep this a secret? You’ve been holding out on us!”
Rossi, who had been sitting back and watching the chaos unfold , leaned back in his chair with a half-smile. “Seems like , Dr. Reid has been keeping secrets,” he said dryly, giving Spencer a knowing look.
You bit your lip, trying not to laugh at the scene around you. It was hard to stay composed when everyone was so… extra. You shifted awkwardly on your feet but it didn’t stop you from noticing how Spencer scrubbed a hand over his face, clearly wishing he could vanish into thin air.
Spencer, still very much red-faced, finally turned toward you, his expression caught between mortification and fondness. His voice was soft.
“Thank you,” he said, with a small awkward smile. “For, um… bringing me the file.”
You smiled, tilting your head, trying to suppress a grin at how adorable he looked when flustered. “Of course,” you said, your voice warm, matching his tone. “Anytime.”
Before Spencer could muster a response, you leaned in and pressed a quick, soft kiss to his cheek. The moment your lips brushed his skin, Spencer froze, his eyes going wide for a split second like he couldn’t quite comprehend what just happened.
The entire room went silent, save for the sound of a chair scraping against the floor as Penelope’s excited squeal filled the air.
Spencer remained absolutely still for a moment, blinking as if he were trying to reboot his brain. You couldn’t help but feel a tiny rush of satisfaction at how flustered he looked.
“I’ll see you at home,” you murmured, your smile widening as you pulled back. “Love you.”
You watched as Spencer’s mouth opened and closed a few times, like he was about to say something, but his words failed him completely. It wasn’t surprising—he’d never been the best at handling public displays of affection, especially when they caught him off guard like this.
"Bye everyone." Without giving him—or the rest of the team—a chance to respond, you turned on your heel and made your way toward the door.
“Did you see that?” you heard Penelope say as you left the room, her voice barely containing her excitement. “Reid, my little shy genius has a girlfriend and she just kissed him in front of us!”
JJ chuckled from across the room, her voice full of amusement. “I think Spence might need a minute,” she said dryly, clearly enjoying the spectacle.
The sound of their teasing faded as the door closed behind you, and you allowed yourself a little breath of relief, knowing that Spencer’s team was kind but very curious.
As the elevator doors closed, you found yourself grinning, already imagining how the rest of the day would unfold.
#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds fanfic#criminal minds#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fluff#criminal minds fanfiction#spencer reid x you#spencer reid#criminal minds x you#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fanfic#criminal minds fic
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DPHW codes blow!!
#gwen bouchard#gwendolyn bouchard#samama khalid#sam khalid#tmagp#the magnus protocol#myart#sipping some whales#the computers are just off screen dont worry about iiiittt
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