#STARTER. ( rori dearing. )

[melanieph321]

Ruben Dias - Lost in Sardinia Part 5/8

Ooof, this chapter. 😮‍💨

It's a long read and I received some great advice following the last chapter, on how to use the correct warnings for chapters that are explicit or triggering in anyway.

I don't think this chapter need any warnings, other than that it deals with anxiety and confrontation.

Summary - Ruben is on a getaway in Sardinia. There he meets a girl named Fiorella. She starts to wonder why Ruben won't tell her what exactly he is getting away from, or even what his real name is.

Enjoy!

Fiorella stood in front of the mirror, adjusting the straps of her bridesmaid dress. Chiara's dress fitting happned at a beauty parlor in town, the owner of the parlor was a seamstresses who happened to be a dear friend of Nonna's.

"What is this Chiara? Are you having a wedding or a funeral?" Sophia studied her bridesmaids dress in the mirror, looking very displeased with the choices Chiara had made for them.

"Don't be bitter just because the dress has no cleavage." Chiara chuckled. She came up behind Fiorella, resting her chin on her sisters shoulder. "How do you like the dress Rella?"

"It's fine."

Chiara frowned. "Just fine?"

Fiorella raised her head, realizing that she had been drifting away. "I mean it's perfect Chiara, it's really pretty."

"Don't lie now Fiorella. The two of us can still vote for another dress."

"You wouldn't?" Chiara gasped.

"Watch me." Sophia challenged. "I'll tell Miss Bedotti right now."

"No you won't. Get back here Sophia!"

The two of them ended up chasing each other around the beauty parlor. Fiorella kept tugging at her dress in front of the mirror. She had to agree with Sophia on this one, she wasn't feeling the dress. Not because it showed too little skin, the opposite really. Fiorella's eyes fell upon the reflection staring back at her, she couldn't shake off the feeling that the dress showed too much skin, making her feel exposed and vulnerable.

"Okay, fine." Sophia surrendered, sruggling to catch her breath. "Since it's your wedding and all, I guess I can compromise on wearing an ugly dress. It's only for one day, right?"

"Geee Sophia, how generous of you."

The the two of them returned to the big mirror where Fiorella stood.

"It settled, you're wearing the dress." Chiara said victoriously.

"Great."

"Fiorella, what's with you?" Chiara met her sisters reflection, expressing her concern. "Why have you been so down lately?"

"Haven't you heard." Sophia fell back against one of the leather sofas. She reached for the tray of pastries placed on the table before her.

"Heard what?"

"Fiorella has fallen for some tourists in town. I'm assuming it's not working out so well."

"Is this true?" Chiara said, turning back to meet her sister gaze in the mirror.

"Apparently he's some kind of big shot hiker from Portugal. What was his name again, Rory?"

"Ruben." Fiorella hissed. "His name is Ruben."

Fiorella told her sister about her troubles in confidence. After what happned with Ruben on his boat she hadn't been able to shake the nasty feeling in her gut, the feeling that what happned between them wasn't right, and so she told her sister about it, or at least about the mixed emotions that she had.

"Why am I informed about this now?" Chiara said, hurt to be the last one to know about Ruben.

"Well for starters, you're never here." Sophia picked at somthing stuck between her teeth. "How could you possible know anything that's happening in our lives if you're never here?"

"Don't start Sophia." Chiara sighed. Her attention was brought back to Fiorella. "Tell me everything about him, where did you guys meet? Is he cute? Is he old?"

"He's older than me, yes. But only by a few years."

Fiorella had actually forgotten to ask Ruben his age. She even tried to do a background check on him, but she couldn't find anything googling the name Ruben Sanchez, adding 'hiking' as a reference. The hiking community must not be that big.

"I would love to meet him." Chiara said, cheerful as ever. "I know! You should invite him to the wedding, as your date."

"What?"

"What?

Fiorella and Sophia seemed to agree that Chiara's suggestion was a bad one.

"Why not?" She insisted.

"Well I don't really know him that well." Fiorella said. "We've only gone out once."

"Go out again. Make sure to ask him then."

"Chiara you're such a fool." Sophia said, rolling her eyes. "Fiorella is clearly not that into the guy, right sis?"

"Like I said..." Fiorella straightened her dress. "We've only gone out once."

********************************************

A day passed.

Fiorella still hadn't gone for a swim at the docks since her night with Ruben. In a way she was avoiding him. He did know where she lived though, so it wasn't like he made an effort to get in touch with her either. Perhaps Sophia was right, the best thing would be to forget about him entirely. What he wanted from her she didn't feel comfortable giving to him. It had just come as suprise, a surprise that Ruben wasn't who she thought he was.

"Acqua!" Fiorella's little brother exclaimed. The two of them eagerly made their way to their local beach in Sardinia.

Compared to the docks, the beach swarmed with tourists, however, the sun shone brightly overhead, casting a golden hue on the crystal-clear waters. It was the perfect day for an adventure, and Fiorella had been longing to swim again.

With her snorkel gear in hand, she led Dino to the water. She took it upon herself to teach him how to dive for clams. She taught him the basics of diving down and scouring the sandy ocean floor for the elusive clams. With each successful find, Dino's face lit up with joy and curiosity. Though they only managed to catch a few, Fiorella reveled in the moment, making memories with her brother that would last a lifetime.

As they made their way back to the shore, clam shells clutched in their hands, Fiorella's heart skipped a beat. There, standing near the edge of the beach, was Ruben. He wore shorts, no shirt. His hair and torso damped with sweat. He looked to have just returned from a hike up the mountains near the coastline. Ruben's eyes widen as he recognized Fiorella. Spotting her, he raised his hand, waving for her attention. 

"Fiorella."

He said her name with such longing, as if the two of them had gone a year without seeing each other.

"I've been wondering where you've been."

Impossible, she thought. She had been home, on the farm. Where else would she go? Her sister was getting married, Fiorella was pretty sure that she had shared that with Ruben. Either way, her cheeks flushed with a mix of surprise and pleasure. She hadn't expected to see Ruben again so soon.

"I've been taking my little brother Dino snorkeling for clams," she explained, gesturing towards Dino, who flashed Ruben a toothy grin.

Ruben looked impressed. "Snorkeling for clams? That sounds like quite the adventure!" He was leaning towards Dino when he said this. Dino who proudly showed off his catch of the day, two palourde clams, clutched in his tiny little hand.

"You caught those by yourself?" Ruben asked, brightly.

Dino eagerly nodded his heads.

"How impressive."

"Give him one." Fiorella said, nudging Dino towards Ruben.

With his hand out, Dino heaved up to his toes, trying to hand the giant that was Ruben his clams. Ruben met him halfway way, crotching down in the sand before him.

"Thank you." He smiled, accepting the clams from Dino.

Fiorella's head tilted as Ruben stood. He noticed the sun irritating her eyes and moved to block it with his body.

"Have you been busy, with your sisters wedding and all?" He asked.

So he was aware.

"Not that busy." She muttered.

Ruben's eyes search her face, perhaps not sure of what to make of the distance in her gaze.

"If you aren't too busy with the wedding...." Ruben scratched the back of his head. "I'd like to see you again, to maybe..." His eyes shifted to Dino then back to Fiorella. "...maybe talk things over?"

Fiorella nodded, she wanted to talk. She needed to talk. "I might be free tonight."

"Well...you know where to find me." He shrugged.

Fiorella nodded. Her and Dino then bid their farewell.

Returning home Fiorella had a decision to make and it was either gonna make things better or worse.

********************************************

"We'll be waiting for you right here Fiorella, don't worry."

"Will you shut up." Sophia hissed.

Fiorella had told her sisters about meeting up with Ruben again. She had also expressed some of her worries about him, mostly the fact that he was some what a stranger to her.

Chiara volunteered to accompany Fiorella to the docks, which seemed like a sensible move for a big sister. Sophia, however, had her own agendas for coming. She said it was mainly to see how ugly Ruben was.

"Just give us a call if somthing goes wrong." She said, holding Pluto in his leash.

The presence of the three of them calmed Fiorella's nerves as she made her way to the docks, towards Ruben's boat.

As she stepped onto the sleek white vessel, Ruben greeted her with a smile. "Fiorella, it's so good to see you," he said, his voice filled with exuberance. "I've missed you."

Fiorella nodded, forcing a half-hearted smile. She followed him onto the deck, taking in the panoramic view of the marina. The afternoon sun reflected off the tranquil waters, casting a warm glow on the surroundings. Fiorella's uneasiness began to subside as the memories of how she and Ruben first met returned to her. It gave her hope that maybe they could work thinks out, that that night was simply a misunderstanding.

Her hopes were shattered though, when Ruben released the boat from its stationary ties and steered it away from the docks. Panic surged through Fiorella as she realized they were leaving the safety of the harbor and venturing out into the vast expanse of the ocean. Her heart raced, and she stumbled backward.

"Ruben, what are you doing?" she cried out, her voice barely audible over the sound of the engine. "I thought we were going to talk things over, not go sailing."

Ruben turned to face her, an enigmatic smile playing on his lips. "Fiorella, trust me. We need this."

Fiorella's fear turned into anger. She had agreed to meet Ruben under the assumption that they would have a conversation, not get trapped on a boat with him alone. Her mind raced, searching for a way to assert her independence and regain control of the situation. She could scream, her sisters could hear her and alert the police. They were drifting away fast though. Too far away for her sisters or anyone else to hear her scream.

"I didn't agree to this, Ruben," she said firmly, her voice filled with determination. "You can't force me to be here. Take me back to the docks right now."

Ruben's smile wavered slightly, but he kept his hands on the wheel and continued steering the boat farther from the shore. "Fiorella, please. Just give me a chance. I believe we can still make things right."

Anxiety flooded Fiorella's mind as the boat sailed further into the endless blue waves. She searched her surroundings desperately, seeking any opportunity to escape and find safety. But miles away from land, there was no one to hear her cries, and no means of escape.

As the magnitude of her situation sunk in, Fiorella realized that running away from Ruben was no longer an option. She had to confront him, face her fears. With newfound determination, she looked Ruben in the eye and spoke with unwavering conviction. "Ruben, I can't change the past, and I can't predict the future," she said, her voice steady. "But I do know that I cannot be with someone who forces me into situations I'm uncomfortable with. If we are to have any chance at all, it must be based on trust, mutual respect, and open communication. Take me back to the docks, or I will find a way to get off this boat myself."

Ruben's expression softened, and he finally acknowledged the seriousness of Fiorella's words. He nodded reluctantly and steered the boat back toward the direction of the marina.

Fiorella felt a sense of relief wash over her. She knew that her confrontation with Ruben was a crucial turning point, and she had reclaimed a small part of herself that she thought she had lost.

As they approached the harbor, Ruben docked the boat just outside of the reef. Fiorella felt more relaxed knowing she was no longer trapped in the middle of the ocean. And now, if things went really south, she could always jump ship and swim back to shore.

"Ruben." Fiorella ran a hand down her face. "What happened that night, If that's the kind of stuff you're into...."

"It's not."

"You sure, because you seem pretty fucking into it."

"I know Fiorella, but I made a mistake. I'm really sorry."

"I'm not looking for an apology Ruben. I'm just here making myself clear. To me that can never happen again, not now, not ever."

"If I could take what happened back, I would. But the truth is...."

"What?"

"The truth is that...."

"What is it Ruben, just say it."

"Look." He sighed. "I've made some mistakes, alot of mistakes that I have been trying to do right ever since I got here. Then one day you showed up and I started forgetting about my mistakes, the fact that I've jeopardize alot of things in my life for not dealing with my own baggage.

Fiorella folded her arms, indicating that she was listening.

"Meeting you, I wouldn't say it was a mistake, but it was selfish of me to get you involved in my shit. We should have never gone on that hike and I should have never brought you home with me that night. It's a mistake I'll never be able to undo. But trust me when I say that I regret it more than anything, and that I'll understand if you never want anything to do with me again."

A minute of silence.

"I need some time...." Fiorella said.

"Of course, take all the time you need."

And with that he let her go.

As they docked the boat, Fiorella thanked Ruben for bringing her back. Without another word, she stepped onto the solid ground and returned to her sisters.

"Oh my god was that him? Where did he take you?"

They ambushed her with questions, questions that Fiorella didn't have the strength to answer right now.

"He was hot wasn't he? Look at the picture I took when he helped you onto his boat."

Fiorella's eyes couldn't focus on the screen Chiara flashed before her eyes. Her thoughts were elsewhere.

Ruben had alot of baggage, she thought. Things that he wasn't and perhaps would never tell her about. Fiorella asked if what they had for a brief moment was worth fighting for? Was it worth getting involved with someone whom she knew was keeping things from her? In her current state Fiorella felt that it probably wasn't worth it.

[x-wanderingsouls]

Starter: Aurelius to Kensley ( @xbeautifulmonsters ) Location: Outside Dylan's apartment in the hallway

After an eventful hour of death, rebirth and some extremely harsh words from Rory, whom was practically his sister in law, Aurelius had used the insipid device that his siblings insisted he use at times such as these, and informed Kensley to hurry on over for there was news. Aurelius, whom was still covered in Dylan's blood, a taste that he was sure would remain upon his tongue till the day he died, hadn't thought of the words he'd say to his dear twin, who of course would be feeling all the emotions of a rainbow, and so when he appeared, Aurelius stood stoically, perhaps a tad somber, gaze purposely dropping, indicating bad news; this rouse lasted a whole five seconds. "Your face is priceless!" the vampire proclaimed as he practically bunny hopped towards Kensley, doubling over with laughter, using Kenny's frame to steady himself as he rose from his own hysterics. "Never have I laughed so much! Rory even thought I was going to eat her. Who does she think I am? Our sister?!"

[tuppencetrinkets-a]

       “I don’t know what you want me to say -- I can’t help you.”  Can’t.  Won’t.  Maybe he thought the words were interchangeable, not that she would blame him if he did.  Inked and studded street rat bartenders, especially ones with a record like hers, in a neighborhood like this, weren’t exactly known for being vocal when it came to talking to the cops.  “That sleeve is one of a dozen just like it that anybody can pick up for by the hour, day, week, pretty much straight off the rack from one of the less than renowned vendors in Bay City.  Not the type that anyone with real creds to spend would have used unless they were looking to stay anonymous.  Places like that, you pay enough cash up front, they’ll doxy the download data to keep you off radar, so, if the stack’s too far damaged to pull up recall, you’re probably screwed.”  

    She was talking too much.  What she wanted to be doing was downing another half bottle of vodka.  Or hurling her guts out.  It was pretty much guaranteed the stack was beyond recovery, with the gorge of blood and bone fragments from what was barely recognizable as a spinal column.  No burned skin, no sickening smell of seared muscle or bone, just.  A gaping wound and a splintered stack.  She didn’t know what kind of brute force that would take -- she’d seen a few specialized instruments made for fast and rough stack recovery, but nothing that left the kinda wound, or the spray of blood that coated walls and ceiling of the bar bathroom.    “Don’t take this the wrong way, but -- since when does a doll getting her stack screwed warrant someone like you sniffing around some place like this, anyways?”

        @magicandsciencemuses -- rori dearing, altered carbon verse for will graham.

[alteredegos]

          Like for a short starter from my ‘modern’ era OC Rori Dearing. She’s from a Meth family but distances herself from the majority of them save for her older sister Claire.  She works as a tattoo artist and bartender and is a well known human rights / sleeve rights activist and often can be found picketing / protesting / occasionally rioting at certain political events and rallies etc.  You can read info about her HERE.  If you want something pre-established for non-canon connections let me know and I’ll be happy to oblige.  Multis please specify which character(s) you’d like a starter for. For this character, please specify time frame such as pre or during or post season one events.

[collecting-stories]

Temporary Love - Jess Mariano

A/N: Because I love Jess and I’ve been reading some Beats lately. Based on the song ‘Temporary Love’ by Ben Platt.

///

“Dear god, this is abhorrent.” You tossed the book across the desk to where Jess was sitting, revising the last few chapters of his latest novel.  

“What did you get a dictionary for Christmas?” He joked, grabbing the book to see what you were reading. It was his Grove Press first edition of The Subterraneans. You’d gifted it to him for Christmas but now it was February and he had yet to get the opportunity to read it.  

“You’re hilarious Jess.” You mocked, “it’s like pulling teeth. Has he never heard of a punctuation mark?”  

“You say that like you didn’t read the edited and original scroll versions of On the Road back to back.” He remarked, tossing the book back to you before he could get sucked into reading. There was a lot of editing to be done on his own novel before he could think of picking up someone else’s.

“I was reading the Beats, what was I supposed to do, ignore On the Road?”  

“Have you read Matt’s latest, he’s trying to stylise himself that way.” Jess mentioned.  

“Not surprising. I think he’s hoping a counter-culture revolution will happen right here in Philly.” You replied, pulling papers out of your backpack. You had essays to grade and had only come by to bother your fiancé about the impending trip home to Connecticut. Which you had yet to do.  

“Don’t be so cynical. It could happen.”  

“Says the king of cynicism.”

“Ouch,” he laughed, grabbing at his chest, “you’ve really wounded me.”  

“So,” you began to prepare to change the subject, almost laughing out loud when Jess put down his pen and leaned back in his chair, appraising you. It was a wonder that he could always tell you were about to say something he wasn’t particularly on board with hearing, “about the trip.”

“What about it?” He had asked you to go up with him for a visit to his uncle’s. He had mentioned to Luke that he was engaged and he wanted his uncle and you to meet. Though there was the matter of returning to Stars Hallow and Rory and Lorelai and everything else that small town Connecticut life had been.  

“Well, you’ve been pretty evasive since you mentioned it.”  

“What’s evasive about, ‘come home with me’?” Jess asked, refocusing on the manuscript in front of him.  

“For starters, you’ve told me nothing about the town. Just that we leave on Friday and we’ll be back on Thursday.” You replied.

“That’s all you need to know.”  

“Jess.” You reached across the desk and grabbed the pen from his hand. “Should I expect like a firing squad when I get in there or something?” You had no idea what to expect but you had read his first book and knew plenty about the girl and the life behind the inspiration. He had been still in love with Rory when he met you and that had been fine because you weren’t looking for a relationship. Now you were engaged though and despite the title and the ring on your finger there was still that feeling the bubbled up in your chest whenever you thought of the infamous Rory Gilmore. A stupid fleeting feeling that you wanted nothing to do with but one that existed nonetheless.  

“You certainly are feeling dramatic tonight aren’t you?” He joked.  

“I’m not being dramatic I’m just wondering...like? I haven’t met anyone from there before.” You replied.

“No one there matters aside from Luke.”

“Okay.”  

You took the manuscript pages that Jess had already worked through, grabbing Matt’s green pen from his coffee mug and beginning to read. Your annotations were less grammatical corrections and more comments about things you liked or didn’t. You questioned subplots that felt messy and complimented his writing when you especially loved a part. Jess looked over the desk at you fondly.  

There was a lot you already knew about his family but there were gaps in his stories, moments that he didn’t talk about. Sure, you had read his first book and you knew about Rory but not enough to really know her. It was like looking at a silhouette sometimes, you had the shape and the idea but nothing concrete. It didn’t implore the anxiety in you that you thought it would, that you sometimes felt it should. When you had first read the infamous book you weren’t dating and it didn’t matter to you that he seemed still so in love with this small town girl. When you reread it, later into the relationship, you expected that it would feel different but it didn’t. It felt just as beautiful as the first time, more so because you knew Jess so intimately now.

“Are you really worried about going to Stars Hallow?” Jess asked, breaking you from the rough draft of his book.  

“No,” you shook your head, “I just feel like I should be.”

“Yeah, cause that makes sense.”  

“I know I should be totally weirded out about going up there but I'm honestly okay with it. Kind of excited, honestly.” You mentioned. Truthfully you were excited. A peek into your boyfriend’s life before he was your boyfriend. “I’m not worried, I just wanna know something about it.”

“It’s small.” He replied.

“Wow, thank you. That really helps me.”  

“Google it.”

“Jess,” you slumped back into your seat and groaned. He was going to be annoying about this trip, you knew that, and still you were surprised by it.

“There’s nothing special about it.”

“Except that it was your home for a significant few years.”  

Jess nodded slowly. “What do you want me to tell you? Certainly wasn’t the worst time I ever had but it was no paradise either.”  

“Well no, that’s living with me.” You gloated, smiling when the stoic editing face broke and he laughed.  

“Oh yeah? I think that depends on your annotations.”  

You shuffled the papers you were reading through into a stack and sat them on your lap, away from Jess. “You’ll see them when I’m finished.”  

He watched you lean back in the chair again, papers on your lap as you read through the last pages of his most recent work. You chewed at the end of the red pen you had swiped of Matt’s desk and pulled the sleeves of your Venice Beach tourist sweatshirt down on your hands further. You had gotten it over Christmas, when the two of you had taken a roadtrip out to see his dad, Sasha, and Lily. You’d spent a glorious week getting to know every stray dog that hung around their bungalow and going to the beach. He had proposed on the last day there, rather spontaneously.  

“I like this edit to chapter 10,” you mentioned, thumbing through the pages you had already put down so that you reread chapter 10 again now that you had decided you liked it.  

“Thank god.” Jess replied, rolling his eyes. It sounded sarcastic but you knew better, a quick glance up found a soft, barely there smile on his face.  

When he had met you he was still under the impression that no one would ever mean as much to him as Rory had. He was convinced that she was his one great love and no amount of other girlfriends or dates could change his mind about it. And then somewhere along the way you had weaseled yourself into his life so subtly and wonderfully Rory was just a memory. A great love, a first love, by not you. Not a best friend and a lover. She wasn’t the person he imagined making a life with anymore. You had filled that space, had taken up the room that Rory had left.  

“I’m excited to meet Luke,” you said, eyes on the papers as you added comments and underlined favorite bits.  

“It’s not a big deal.” Even though he said it both of you knew it wasn’t true. Luke had made a huge impact in his life and he cared about his uncle’s opinion. Even if he thought he hadn’t when he was younger he wasn’t that seventeen year old boy anymore trying to pretend he was cool. He knew who he was and who Luke was to him and he respected Luke. He wanted you and Luke to get along. To like each other.  

“It is.” You replied, “will Liz be there?”

“I can’t stop her.”  

“Hey, I love your mom, she’s so sweet.”  

He hummed and nodded his head.  

“Jess.”

“Yeah?” He asked, looking up at you. You were sitting there with your hands clasped over the papers, smiling at him.  

“I love you.”  

He ducked his head and smiled before looking back up at you, “love you too.”

-

Has anyone ever not been Team Jess? I’m rewatching now and sorry, he’s my favorite emotionally unavailable problematic boyfriend. 

[akp-1327]

dear diary // chapter six

Hey! Here’s the next chapter! Also, before you delve into it, I just wanted to inform you about how gloomy this chapter is. It’s a major turning point for the series, though! I hope you enjoy and thank you for reading. ❤️

As always, find the series masterlist here to catch up! :)

Pairings: Ajay Bhandari x f!MC (Charlotte Parker), Skye Crandall x f!OC (Leila Maciel)

Word Count: 4.4k

(*) Warnings: mentions of bankruptcy and dementia.

(Buckle up for an emotional roller coaster, everyone...)

“Hi, Ajay.”

Charlotte looked worse than she had this morning when she was dealing with her hangover. Now, as she stood helplessly in front of me, she looked like she was about to cry.

“Charlotte, are you alright?” I asked, knowing what her answer would be right off the bat. With a purse of her lips, she looked down at the floor and slowly shook her head. She finally met my eyes and let her own fill with tears, her walls slowly crashing down.

“No, not really.”

I instantly waved her in and closed the door. Rory was out with a few friends that had just arrived on campus, so I probably wasn’t going to see him until morning. That was okay; Charlotte didn’t look like she was ready to leave anytime soon when she was perched on my bed, wiping desperately at her tears.

“What happened?” I questioned softly, coming to sit beside her. 

I wasn’t usually the crying-on-the-shoulder type, so I honestly felt out of place in this situation. Although, despite my inexperience, she answered.

“When I got back after our coffee trip, Leila and I got into a huge argument about what happened last night.” Charlotte sniffled, her voice breaking as more tears rolled down her cheeks. Without knowing what to say, I wrapped a hesitant arm around her shoulders to try and console her. I felt her tense up underneath my arm, leading me to assume I went too far. 

I was about to pull away before she huddled closer to me, leaning her head on my shoulder. Of course, I tried my best to ignore how my heart started to thunder in my chest at the action, but that’s unimportant right now.

After a few beats of silence, I found my voice again. I still didn’t know whether or not I’d been doing this whole ‘consolation’ thing properly, but talking seemed to alleviate her emotions, even if it was temporary. 

“Did she apologize for what happened?”

Charlotte shook her head, wiping her tears away with the back of her hand. “No. I guess she was angry at me, too.”

“Why?” My eyes widened and my embrace around her tightened by just a fraction. It was such a small movement but I could tell it was something she noticed by the way she wrapped her arms around me, clinging to me as if I’d disappear.

“She thinks that I’m dependent on her protection,” Charlotte said, her voice still unsteady, “and...and I just...” She broke down into sobs, her shoulders heaving and her arms tightening around my torso. Yet again, I had no idea what to do, so I frowned,

Just this morning she’d been upbeat. She was fatigued, sure, but she was herself nonetheless. Now, she was the complete opposite. It...well...it hurt my heart. 

(Dammit.).

I failed to muster a response before she started to speak again.

“I didn’t tell you about my parents’ diner, did I? About what happened?”

I started shaking my head when she pulled back to compose herself. It was barely a second before she crossed her arms tightly around herself. She was silent in deep thought for a minute, her eyes trained on Rory’s unmade bed across the room.

“You don’t need to tell me if you don’t want to.” I muttered softly, though she sniffled and looked back up at me. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so much hurt, so much pain, so much despair, in my life aside from her eyes in that moment. The blue irises that gazed into mine were overflowing with such a depressing sadness that I was rendered speechless.

Of course, she had beautiful eyes. She had a beautiful smile, too. Everything about her was just beautiful, even when she was at her lowest point like this.

“I do want to,” Charlotte breathed, nodding to herself in a way that seemed forced, almost as if she’d reminded herself that she wanted to, “you’re the best person I can talk to.”

Things with Leila, her best friend, must be seriously messed up. It’s been about two weeks since we met and she’s already crying on my shoulder.

I nodded wordlessly in understanding (because I still couldn’t find the right words to say) and let her continue.

“The day I got here, I called my mom. She told me how their diner had gone bankrupt,” Charlotte said, her voice now clear and consistent, “then, to top it all off, the building got condemned. It’s never really been in the best condition, but it’s always been like that. We’ve never had the best finances, either, so we couldn’t get anything permanently fixed.”

She buried her head in her hands. “I don’t know what to do, or what to think. I basically grew up there, y’know? It hurts to hear, but it hurts even more to know that I’m not at home with my family. And then everything with Leila and the stress of classes starting soon...”

“Oh my god,” I whispered, surprising her (and myself; I mean, I finally found my vocal chords!), “that sounds like a living hell.”

Charlotte cracked a wry laugh, immediately easing the growing knot in the pits of my heart. Even if it didn’t sound like her usual chortle, I deemed that it was better than her sobbing into my shoulder. 

“Oh, I can assure you that it is.”

“What a poor, poor reassurance,” I sighed, “can I give you some advice?” 

I watched her nod solemnly before I started.

“For starters, you’re strong. I don’t think you’re dependent on Leila’s protection because you wouldn’t be here if you were,” I said, watching her reaction carefully. It had been my job as a director to read people’s character and emotion and give them advice on how to improve; these circumstances hadn’t been much different...besides the fact of not literally directing her around.

“Second. You need to know that it’s okay to feel. It’s okay to share your emotions and opinions. You don’t need to bottle everything up all the time, especially when something big like this is bothering you.” I heard (and felt) my voice soften. I don’t exactly know why - maybe it was because of how calm the moment felt or because I didn’t want to worry her - but I did know that she was listening carefully because of her newly-formed expression of confusion.

“How did you know I was holding everything in?” Charlotte questioned. I simply smiled.

“I’m a director, remember? I know lots of things.” I teased, watching an unconvinced smile spread across her features. So I sighed and told her the truth. “I have lots of experiences with keeping my emotions hidden from the world. Plus, from what I’ve heard, you’re the instituted older sibling; I just happen to know all about that.”

“Oh.” She breathed. It sounded vulnerable. “That’s very observant of you, mister director.”

(Why are my cheeks starting to heat up? Whatever. Um. Advice. Respond to her. Um.)

“Not observant,” I corrected, giving her a tender and understanding smile whilst ignoring my growing sheepishness, “experienced.”

And then I watched as the silent wish I had in my mind came true; she smiled. It was such a brilliant thing; I couldn’t move, think, breathe, or function like a normal human being for a whirlwind of a second. It was something alleviating, breathtaking, and mesmerizing all at once.

“Ah, right. You have lots of...experience.” Charlotte laughed, giving me a thankful look before rubbing at her eyes. I just noticed how exhausted she looked and instantly felt guilty for keeping her awake. It was almost half past ten and I knew she was a night owl, but her eyes were growing bleary and she let out an occasional yawn.

“I do.” I hummed, gingerly reaching for her hand. I don’t really understand why I did; it just seemed like the right thing to do in the moment. To let her know I was here for her. “And if you need to talk about anything else like this, I’m here. Okay?”

Her cheeks burned bright pink when I grazed my thumb over the back of her hand. I’ve noticed that her hands are always impossibly soft and comfortingly warm. 

“Okay.” Charlotte nodded. A moment of silence passed, and then another, and then a whole two minutes passed without any conversation; it wasn’t awkward or weird or anything, but it had definitely been different. The air between us seemed to thicken. Her blue eyes looked up to meet mine again and I immediately knew why the moment had felt so different. Emotions like vulnerability and relief swirled around her irises.

She trusted me.

We continued to gaze at each other for what felt like hours, mindlessly but also knowingly, before she cleared her throat and pulled away. I took my hand back and the moment ended. 

I immediately missed the warmth of her hand in mine.

“Thank you, Ajay. Seriously.” Charlotte breathed, standing up. “I owe you one.”

I smiled and shook my head. “I disagree. I was just doing what nice friends do.”

Charlotte rolled her eyes but still grinned. “Nice friends accept an offering from another friend.” she winked, pulling me into a hug so quick I barely had time to react. She was halfway out the door before I processed her quick embrace. “I’ll get you coffee or something sometime and I can promise that you’ll never see it coming. Goodnight.”

Before I could retort, she was gone with a flourish. She closed the door softly, leaving me with my thoughts.

*

*

August 23rd, 2020

Dear Diary...

Wow. Three entries within the span of a month? Wow, I’m genuinely shocked. Anyway. I have something to say, and I think it might be urgent...in a sense.

Charlotte. Remember her? Yeah. I think something’s happening with our...friendship. And in a really good way. Over the past couple days, she’s been looking at me differently. Talking to me differently. Smiling at me more. She even pokes my arm...which has never happened before? It’s far from usual, but at the same time...I’m getting used to it.

The more I think about it, the more I realize that I shouldn’t be letting myself do this. I shouldn’t be letting myself grow closer to her. With every passing day, I keep allowing myself to spend time with her in the way that will eventually kill me. I know what’s going to happen: she’ll audition for the show, get a lead part, and forget about me. I’ll be heartbroken...again.

I don’t know what these feelings mean. Wait. Maybe I do, actually; I just don’t want to admit the truth to myself because the truth scares me. A lot.

So. That’s really it. Unless you want to hear about my “home life” problem? Well then, do I have news for you. I haven’t visited Amma, Mo, or Jim in almost a year and have been purposefully putting it off out of the fear that they won’t accept me as their family. (This is basically stemming off the fact of me “spending lots of time” with my dad over summer...)

Anyway. That’s about it. I’m seriously considering the thought of not directing the show this year so I can actually breathe with the whole Charlotte situation, but I don’t think Olson would like that. He always says that I’m the “most qualified” and “better seasoned” student he has.

Why must everything in my life be so confusing? 

Ajay

*

*

The air had slowly grown colder over the next week, signaling flannel season. Pumpkin spice season. Spooky season, as Rory called it. It was finally September; the start of autumn and the school year. 

Erin asked me to go shopping with her at a local craft store. She needed new autumn decorations and, by some sort of force, I just happened to be the only one free on the last Saturday before class officially started on Tuesday. So here we were; walking into a large corner store I’d never seen before with a small basket on Erin’s arm.

“Look at all of the leaf garlands...” Erin smiled, pointing at all the aisles. She eagerly looked around at all the decorations. I, in all honesty, could spend the entire day in this store. It was so tranquil.

...But don’t tell anyone that. 

“Ajay! Look at this!” Erin held up a small pair of purple and orange striped witch legs with black boots. “It’d be right up Skye’s alley! We could hang it outside the door.”

Without further explanation, she tossed it into her basket and proceeded to the next aisle with Halloween decorations. She glanced at a few before continuing on. Erin isn’t a Halloween person; she doesn’t get scared easily, but she just doesn’t like how cheesy the holiday is.

“You seem to be doing better,” I said nonchalantly, showing her a miniature pumpkin that looked like a paper weight. She took the pumpkin but didn’t respond until she placed it in her basket.

“I am.” Erin said just as casually. It was quite...infuriating, to say the least.

We continued to walk around the store, the odd encounter almost forgotten until we got to the fake flower aisle. Erin took a faux orchid into her hands and looked at it wistfully, twirling the plastic stem between her fingers.

“These...are my grandma’s favorites.” She whispered, her voice faltering.

Oh, no.

“Erin?” I questioned, watching as she shook the emotion away and put the orchid back. It was faint, but I watched several emotions flash through her eyes. Pain, grief, longing.

She walked away from the orchids without looking back and instead picked up a yellow rose further down the aisle.

“I could cut the stems off of these and decorate a stick wreath with them. Maybe add a few orange cosmos and red daisies? Oh, and maybe--”

“That’d look nice,” I hummed, cutting her off. She took some artificial baby’s breath and added it to the mix, not meeting my eyes.

Clearly she was ignoring what had happened with the orchid. 

I remember Erin talking about her grandma all the time - the amazing woman in her life that had been a philanthropist within her community. I don’t remember her name, though I do remember that Erin adored her just as much as she adored Erin. The latter would ramble on and on about all the people her grandmother inspired (herself included) and loved to talk about how her grandmother taught her about living her life to the fullest.

Then, unexpectedly two summers ago, Erin’s notorious grandmother forgot about her birthday. Then she forgot her wedding anniversary. Then, unbelievably, she forgot about her career that she used to talk so much about. She had no recollection of what she’d accomplished, though when someone reminded her and talked about it in vivid detail, her memory would kick back in and she’d act like nothing ever happened.

The memory lapses continued over the course of freshman year, but she still fought to remember the people closest to her. It stayed that way for a while, but you could tell that it was becoming increasingly difficult for her to recall certain things.

Then, right before winter break of sophomore year, she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.

Erin talked with me about it all throughout the entire course of break. How her grandma was put on all these medications and needed to be moved into a nursing home for daily care. How Erin was terrified that her grandma would forget about everything she ever loved, ever knew, ever experienced. She had every right to, as well; it was scary, especially for Erin. Her grandma was like her safe place, her shoulder to cry on. It could all be taken away.

Erin’s heart slowly broke as she watched her grandma’s strength slowly wither away. By the start of the summer, Erin’s grandma couldn’t even walk because she’d gotten so frail. The last time Erin and I talked about it, everything was as good as it could’ve been.

But by Erin’s mention of the orchid, I’m guessing it hadn’t been an easy summer for her or her family.

“Erin,” I said suddenly, catching her off-guard as she looked for a wooden wreath, “it happened, didn’t it?”

I absolutely hated and regretted the blunt delivery, but she seemed to understand. She looked down at her shoes and grimly nodded.

“The week before I arrived on campus, I took one last visit before school. I held her hand for a while and hoped, but she...didn’t remember me. No matter how many times I said my name or showed her pictures...” Erin breathed sadly, holding her palm up to look at. It shook the tiniest bit.

That’s why she’d been so...cold for the past couple weeks. Her grandma forgot about her. Not willingly, but, forgot about her nonetheless. This was what she was scared of most, and having it come true...

“I know this doesn’t help in the slightest, but I’m so sorry, Erin.” I whispered, placing my hand on her shoulder thoughtfully. She took a deep breath and shrugged.

“It’s not your fault, Ajay. It’s no one’s fault.” Erin whispered, failing to keep her voice even.

Erin shook her head again and sniffled before she took a small wooden wreath, gently placing it into her basket. She walked away after waving at me to follow her towards the register.

*

* 

After the whole situation with Erin, I just needed to relax. I got back to the dorm and started to get all my school supplies organized. It was just the therapy I needed. Rory even joined in when he got back from who knows where and played random songs from musicals he loves. I can’t even name them all. 

We talked about things, too. Serious things, like my tobacle with Charlotte. I didn’t go into much detail, but I could tell Rory picked up on a couple things. He knew me too well. Even throughout all of that, I didn’t mention Erin to him. I debated it, but then I remembered that it wasn’t something I should share. When she was ready, she’d say something. And, clearly, that wasn’t right now.

It was at least half past eleven when we decided to call it quits; or I decided, since Rory had been passed out on top of his blankets.

Before I settled in for bed, I sent a text to Charlotte.

I hadn’t heard from her all day. This wouldn’t have looked out of the ordinary to anyone else, but she usually sends these stupidly funny memes about theater throughout the day. I don’t even know where (or how, for that matter) she finds them.

Ajay: You okay?

It was nearly thirty seconds after I sent the message when she responded.

Charlotte: leila and i are still iffy but i’ve been alright. i’m pretty exhausted but overall okay...ish :)

Charlotte: how are you?

I really, really wanted to share how I was feeling. Not just about Erin’s struggles or my own, but about her. But, first of all, I was not going to be “that guy” to confess over text. Second of all, I didn’t even know how I would confess. I couldn’t turn the weird notions I had floating around in my mind into words.

Even if I could, I still doubt I’d tell her.

Ajay: Tired, as always. Also, would it kill you to capitalize your words?

I knew she’d have a witty response to this. She always had one to anything thrown her way. I quickly learned that it was one of her most quirky traits.

Charlotte: YES I WOULD, GRANDPA! I WOULD DIE OF UTTER SHOCK FROM PRESSING THE CAPS BUTTON ON THIS VERY SCREEN ALL THE TIME! YOU’RE GONNA ATTEND MY FUNERAL AND GIVE A SPEECH ABOUT HOW AMAZING OF A FRIEND I WAS BECAUSE YOU JUST KILLED ME.

Such a dork.

Charlotte: there. hope that resolved the problem. oh, and i hope you can afford my funeral, you murderer.

Such a cute dork, one could say.

Ajay: Not especially to all of that, but I guess I can let that one slide. But I better not see any lowercase nouns on your audition form once the show rolls around.

And that’s the reason that’d always hold me back. Whenever I thought I’d worked up enough courage to actually formulate some thought about these feelings I had for her, I’d remember that she was a theater kid, and I don’t allow myself to get involved with them. Not after what happened with Kelly.

Charlotte: you really think i’m that unprofessional? how rude.

Charlotte: plus...i don’t even know if i’m doing the show yet. i feel like it might burn me out. i’m a workaholic when it comes to school.

A familiar feeling of hope lightened the dead weight of stress on my shoulders. I may actually have a chance; well, a chance without making myself relive bad memories. 

Ajay: I guess that makes sense. If you’re interested, auditions are on the 14th.

Charlotte: would you have a bias towards me because i’m your friend? 😉

Of course she’d ask that. Why wouldn’t she? This was Charlotte; she was the most curious person I’d ever met.

Ajay: Absolutely...not.

Charlotte: gosh diggity darn it. not even for me? i thought we were...like...besties or something. you hurt my fragile feelings. 🤧😭

God, why is she so cute? 

I couldn’t stop myself from laughing out loud and had to hold a hand to my mouth to contain it before I woke Rory up. The last thing I wanted was his snarky question about why I’d been laughing while he was still half asleep.

Ajay: Apologies, but it’s against the rules. 

Ajay: Also, how would we be best friends when we’ve known each other for a little over a month? I don’t even know your favorite color or movie or animal. Oh, and even your birthday? This is all stuff that best friends know about each other.

Charlotte: green 💚 she’s the man ⚽️ penguins 🐧 December 28th, 2001 🎉

Charlotte: you?

I was playing a dangerous game here; I didn’t know if I wanted to win (stay friends and hold in my feelings forever)...but I didn’t know if I wanted to lose (tell her how I felt...eventually; once I knew), either.

Well, I guess you only live once, right?

Ajay: Green, The Bicycle Thief, octopi, and August 2nd, 2000. Relatively basic.

Charlotte: OMG HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!!! (ignore how it’s sept 4th please) 🎉🎉🎉 the big 20, right?

Ajay: Sadly, but shhh, I’m still 19 at heart. Don’t tell anyone.

Charlotte: my lips are sealed 🤐 and i have a question; it’s almost midnight. why’re you awake?

Stress? Was stress a good answer? I think it was. She didn’t have to know what I was stressed about. It was general but also just specific enough to pass as a viable excuse.

I don’t think it’d help if I confessed that some of it was because of her, either, so that was another good reason to just give a simple answer.

Ajay: Stress. Why’re you awake?

Charlotte: same reason. i also haven’t been sleeping well, if at all, since leila went to stay in skye and erin’s dorm.

Ajay: Wow, since your argument? That was more than a week ago. Erin hasn’t said anything and I haven’t heard from Skye in a few days.

Charlotte: leila has always been a bit dramatic when it comes to holding grudges. but, anyway, i should let you get some sleep. but before you go, do you wanna do something tomorrow? i think we both could use a break.

That sounded like an amazing idea. Just taking a breather from everything that’d been happening in my life. But...

Ajay: I was thinking of going to visit my family tomorrow.

Maybe this was just another one of my excuses to stop me from letting these feelings grow. I didn’t want to get my hopes up; there was still a possibility that she’d audition for the show.

Charlotte: oh, that’s okay! another time?

But, then again, I wasn’t exactly sure if I wanted to win or lose this game. And it’d be nice to have someone there with me.

Ajay: Would you want to do something tomorrow?

Charlotte: ...is this your way of asking me to go with you to visit your family?

Ajay: Maybe.

Yes.

Charlotte: well, as long as it’s alright with you, i’d love to tag along. if you wanted me there.

Ajay: It’s definitely alright. Is ten okay? It only takes like...half an hour to get there. Maybe we’ll stop and get coffee or something before we go.

Charlotte: cool beans! you know exactly how to persuade me. see you at ten :) please try to sleep well!

Ajay: Ditto.

Boom. Just like that. Simple as pie. I was going to visit family that I hadn’t seen in a year...with Charlotte.

Tomorrow. 

Yeah, there’s no way in hell that I’m actually getting any sleep tonight. 

Awesome, wow. Cue ‘The Reynolds Pamphlet’, because I felt like Hamilton at this very moment...an absolute idiot.

Still, it might be nice, right? 

Might. It just might.

It will be nice...with her company.

Ajay: :)

*

*

Walking to Charlotte’s dorm the next morning felt completely different than the last time. I vividly remember the walk; it was quick and painless. I had little to no butterflies fluttering around my stomach. I wasn’t hyperventilating. I wasn’t trying to wipe the sweat from my hands as I marched down the stairs and up to her door. 

My hands didn’t shake for a second that night, but now...I couldn’t find a way to keep them still.

That party brought us closer together than I ever thought imaginable. That party basically sparked this entire flame. It’s what made me realize that Charlotte could never be just a friend. She’d felt like something more for...for a while; sometime during the party, it just kind of became a thought. 

Even that night when she was showing her raw emotion, her concern for her family, her frustrations with Leila...it opened my eyes to what I could tell her with such honesty. It made me humor the thought of becoming the type of person to share my deepest and darkest secrets with someone.

This someone, somehow, just weaseled her way into my life without any warning.

Everything fit into place and everything was put into perspective the longer I went over the “what if’s” and “what could be’s”. The weird notions in my heart were now scripted...and there wasn’t a way to take their roles away. There wasn’t a way to write them out or scribble over their lines with pen. 

And...let me just say...this terrified the living hell out of me.

Putting myself and my already damaged heart out there and on the line again...didn’t seem worth it. It didn’t seem like something I could handle if it went wrong. But you know what seemed worth it? The slim chance that she saw me the same way, that she wanted to be something more.

Now, as I stood at her door, the ever increasing rate of my heart pounded in my ears. I hoped I could admit these thoughts to her today. Or do something that could give her a hint.

It’s crazy how something small, like a feeling that you had for a split second, can manifest into a overwhelmingly large tower of impending doom in such a short period of time. It felt like I had a small, irking suspicion that I liked her at the party, but...I knew for a fact that I liked her now. A lot more.

Dammit.

[trashy-croud]

Jungle - India 🗺️🐒

So, where do we start? So I did initially start this game with the Manor run, seeing how well I did the assault course and the driving and I did pretty okay. I mean, I remember them clear as day as this croft manor was the one I played the most as a child on the PC, whilst my dad was at work so I didn't lose his progress. After getting used to all the controls again, and finding out there was a sprint button, I decided to start this game up for real. I won't say much about croft manor, may look at it more after all of this but I'll focus on the main story for now.

So let’s begin on this new adventure with Lara. In the very beginning cutscene, before the menu appears, we see a meteor crashing onto Earth. It landed in Antarctica, had to look this up, as during the time it crashed, Antarctica was tropical. This very first cinematic is set over a million years ago, long before our little adventurer had anything to do with it. As we move onto the present day, we’re in the Antarctica that we all known and love to well as there seems to be some people doing research there, some digging and whatnot. One man who is there is named Willard, he’s totally not the bad guy. I sweaaar.  Anywho a lot of the machinery goes wrong, from what I can tell, they basically made a discovery of a set of stone heads, very much like the ones on Easter Island in Antarctica. It is a huuuge wild ride in one cutscene alone! And then we are shown at the end, the discovery of a handmade grave/post/thing, for one Mr Paul Caulfield. I suppose he’s going to have quite the impact on our adventure and like Willard says, "This place has a busy history." I don’t think he’s too far from the tree, ya know.

So after all that, we finally begin, woo, finally talking about the first level of this game and boy, was I struggling to get used to this and had to go through it several times to obtain all the secrets. Yes, I know about you “All Hallows” and I will not make the same mistake as I did in the previous game! So in this first level, we start off in India, off in the jungles. It doesn’t specify where precisely, we’ll perhaps get more information on all of that as we progress further through these few levels, but all I know is that things have changed and boy, do I gotta talk about them!

So for starters, we have a mixed save system. Playing on the playstation, I don’t get unlimited saves like on the PC or like the second instalment of the game, well, not anymore. Instead we have a combination of the first game with the save crystals and the second game with getting to save whenever we please. But, now we have limitations on the saves, which means someone is going to have to be extra careful with her saves from now on and not waste all of her save crystals carelessly~ Note to self: if they are anything like the flares or how many times I saved in the previous game, these crystals will not be lasting long.

Also, I don’t have a button to use my flares constantly either. I have to actually open my backpack up and then think, I have to think about whether I need them or not. Do we understand how this is a mind-blowing mechanic for someone like me who wasted them all in the early levels of the game and never got them again?! On one hand, it’s super helpful for people like me, but on the other hand, it’s also annoying because I can’t access them within a second of needing them. So you know, there are pros and cons to this little feature. But I will have to adapt!

Final note before I actually talk about the level itself. Heh. Secrets. I mentioned earlier that I was going to collect them all to get the secret level but did I mention that it’s not like the second game anymore? I’m so used to the idea I only have to collect three secrets that when it popped up with the statistics screen, when it said “3 of 6″, I think I about lost it? Like, it’s gone back to the first instalment’s idea of secrets, which I ain’t complaining about. It just threw a huge spanner in the works and goes to show that this is going to take ten times longer for me to complete! So don’t expect a finale any time soon! I feel like, in particular levels, I’m going to miss the obviousness which was the dragon statues you had to find previously. I’m sure I’ll complain about it all soon enough, just you wait.

Anyway, right, so let’s actually talk about the level itself! As the first level of this game, it really did not pull any punches. You are literally given three secrets to find at the very start of the level, that later two I found much easier but the first one was so dang hard. Like, I kid you not, I was trying everything, looking everywhere I could and how I was supposed to find this secret was beyond me. Like I was just jumping around on the slope, hoping I’d find something and low and behold, I bloody well did! This was only the beginning of my struggles as the level pressed forward. After finding the first three secrets, which were quite literally one after the other, we’re introduced to something new. And oh dear god, I’m gonna hate it. It’s quicksand! Yaaaay.

After overcoming the quicksand, we met new... enemies? Well, we met some monkeys, but they seem friendly, at least for now but that is bound to change very quickly. Because it’s a Tomb Raider game. And nice enemies don’t happen often. Y’know, like the tigers that try to maul us to death later on and the addition to some new watery enemies, yeah, watery. I used that word. Piranhas. Oh boy, I don’t like this. Water is meant to be my safe zone, although there are sometimes shark and crocodiles/alligators, I can cope. Even with the odd barracuda and the like, I can cope. But piranhas? Oh no. We are done. Because these awkward little swines cannot be killed as far as I know, and I’m ready to absolutely weep at them! But nonetheless, we somehow still trudged on. We’re just plodding along.

We encountered traps like never before, we met boulders and spikes and more boulders, oh and zip lines. Now, you may be thinking, “But Croud, how are zip lines traps? They help you?” And now here’s the part where I prove you wrong because I cannot use zip lines to save my life. The amount of times I died in the floating island level due to zip lines is unreal, and they’re here in this game too? Oh they are certainly classed as traps on my list. You can make sure of that!

To make a long story short this level put me through the works. Like so many works it’s unreal. 

This level did not pull on any punches and really got you involved in it. I thought “The Great Wall” was a wacky trap filled first level, but this. This wasn’t just filled with traps, no, we got multiple routes, more exploration. It felt much less linear yet you still knew the way to go. It almost made the level more expansive? I believe that’s the right way to put it. Was probably the reason this level took me so long. I’ll hopefully make the next post much more structured compared to this one, but right now, I want to just gush over how many flare I have. 34! That’s right, ya girls’ been good with ‘em. It won’t last long so took a picture to commemorate it. 

Over all, I greatly enjoyed this first level, it has truly set a tone for the rest of the game to come. Finished it in style by jumping into more quicksand in the end, which really did make me panic - all before we were given the final cutscene, one where Willard makes his appearance once more, or at least an audio appearance rather than a physical one.

During this last cutscene, Lara comes across a campsite and a radio from which we can hear Willard talking, or better yet, trying to get into contact with someone from this site. That is when we are introduced to the “loon” known as Tony. He did not hold back with our Lara, though I’m sure he was suffering from jungle madness with the way he spoke and his attitude. After going in a bit of a circle with him about how many there were of her, we finally get to the point as to why Lara is in this jungle. The Infada artifact. Finally we get a name for the mysterious artifact we’ve been searching for and it sure does sound mysterious. Though Tony doesn’t seem to agree with us completely, summarising it plainly as “voodoo magic and all that”. Perhaps he has seen it before or witnessed what it can do? Though that summary definitely did not impress our Lara as she was asking about anyone else who could talk to her on a more intellectual level, or without brushing off what she was talking about as just “voodoo magic”.

Tony certainly doesn’t have his way with women, we can see that for certain. And he didn’t impress Lara further with the mention of Randy and Rory, who he said was staying put in that temple. Now that ain’t boding too well. Nor do the last words Tony leaves us with, which are quite literally “die” as he jumps off a ledge, disappearing with giggles galore. He was right when he said the jungle was truly rotting his brain, or perhaps it is actually something else that is causing this? Now as someone who hasn’t played the game, nor gotten further than literally this level alone, this cutscene has always been one to make me believe that Tony ain’t a trustworthy guy, and boy was my gut instincts as a child were right. Because I still don’t trust this giggly arse! 

But now that’s it! At least for now. This has been the jungle levels as we explore more of the India levels, now moving onto the Temple Ruins. This game is giving me a different kind of feeling to the previous instalment and oh god, I’m currently enjoying it. Though I’m petrified because this is new territory. Hopefully we can get all these secrets! But see you all soon in the temple ruins, where we’re sure to meet Randy and Rory, or at east whatever is left of them from the sounds of it?

[grimgrinnr]

@hellsdeerling​ {Sinday Starter} + Secondary Verse

Alastor griped Rory’s sides with his hands, letting his gloved claws press into them a little to tease the other as he lifted them up off of the ground and pulled them against his body. His mouth met with their neck and he kissed and nibbled at it. He was walking them to his bedroom in the hotel. The door swung open on its own and closed behind them on its own as well. Now inside, he gave their neck a break.

“ Ha... I’m sure you can tell what I’m in the mood for my dear... ”

[rebeccalouisaferguson]

Rebecca Ferguson - interview for Grazia Russia (N5, March 5, 2019)

The Lesser Evil

Charming redhead Swedish actress Rebecca Ferguson has become famous thanks to “Mission Impossible” franchise. Other than this adventure superhit, in the last couple of years the actress has starred in the musical “The Greatest Showman”, new reboot of “Men in Black”, and now it has also been confirmed that she is the one who will play Lady Jessica in an adaptation of a cult novel “Dune” that is being developed by Denis Villenevue. But when you ask her what’s the most important thing that has happened in her life to date, she is seriously contemplating before answering. “I didn’t die during the latest childbirth. That’s good for starters. Second that comes to mind is our summer vacation in Greece, where we went with my whole family after I finished shooting “The Kid Who Would Be King”.

Last year Rebecca gave birth to a daughter with her husband Rory. She already has a son Isaac from a former boyfriend, art-director Ludwig Hallberg, but she tied the knot for the first time after moving to the outskirts of London. “I love the fact that we are living in an almost countryside. It looks a lot like my hometown Simrishamn, where we also spend a lot of time.” District, where the couple bought a true british house, is close to the Pinewood Studios and Warner Bros. Studios Leavesden, where Ferguson works most of the time. Rebecca is shooting non-stop in an Olympic athlete rhythm. For example, the latest “Mission Impossible” installment and “The Kid Who Would Be King” she filmed simultaneously. She had to work weekends for the later. “At some point you get used to it and see this rhythm as a norm. When I was on holidays in Greece my agents contacted me and said that there is a role in the latest “Men in Black” that will take a couple of weeks to shoot. I said: “Dear family! It’s time for mama to go back!” We wrapped the vacations 5 days earlier than planned.” British director Joe Cornish found another way to the actresses’ heart, thought their mutual friend, Simon Pegg. To the first meeting in a restaurant Joe brought his sketches, pictures and acted out best dialogues, and made it so good, that Ferguson said “yes” right on the spot.

|-My agent called me in the evening and in swearing terms said what can be summed up as “What the hell are you doing?”

This spontaneity is very characteristic of Rebecca. She taught argentine tango, for example. The future star was a very active child and tried all dancing styles – ballet, street-jazz, contemp, but the choice was made in favour of tango. “Thanks to my mother. She was always telling me to go for it. I told her: “Give me an example!” And she started taking classes near the fishing village where we lived, and I was hooked as well.” Rebecca has her mother to thank also for the flawless british accent, that only british aristocracy has nowadays. “I used to imitate her when I was little. She graduated from a very good school and her accent is very good. Later, when I was cast as queen Elizabeth in “The White Queen” I studied with an amazing coach, who perfected that “royal” accent. I had to speak like that for 6 months in a row and it got so deep into my head that it stayed with me forever.” The only time when Rebecca’s mom was not listened to is when they were choosing a name for the daughter. “She wanted something traditional and aristocratic. They were choosing between Tallulah, after the American actress Tallulah Bankhead, and Gaelic name Tobermory. My elder sister’s name is Islay, this is the name of one of the islands in Scotland. The island nearby is called Tobermory.” Luckily, her father suggested: “Maybe Rebecca?”. That’s what was decided in the end. “Can you imagine? I could have been Tallulah or Tobermory! What a horror!”. By the way, the third name that Rebecca’s mother favoured was Saga. That’s the name that was given to her now six months old granddaughter. “Sagas are the basis of everything in Swedish mythology. They are telling the legends that form the folklore. I always liked that word and that’s how I named my daughter.”

As a foreigner Ferguson has of course read the story of King Arthur and the knights of round table. Nevertheless, she liked immensely her first role as a villain in “The Kid Who Would Be King”. She swears that now she will only play villains. Morgana, the magic half-sister of king Arthur is living underground and waits for her time to come back to the world of the living. 12 year old Alex, played by Andy Serkis son, Louis, finds the magic sword at the building site, which opens the portal for Mogana and her demons to the modern day London.

|- What I liked about this role, that she is pure evil. Unlike Disney bad witch who is evil, but not that unsympathetic.

How do you feel going home to your husband and two kids after this kind of shoot? “I forget about my character as soon as I leave the set.” Taking a pause to think Rebecca corrects herself. “You know, that was not true. My characters from “The Snowman”, “The White Queen”, “Hercules” – they are all here, - she says pointing to her head. “They live in my memory, but I do not spread that energy on my family.”

“The Kid Who Would Be King” premiere was the first one that her son attended with her. He is the same age as the main hero. During the screening the boy was scared a couple of times and touched his mom’s hand, saying, that it’s only “a reflex reaction”. He has seen Ferguson’s 4-hour transformation with make-up department into enchantress Morgana before. “He used to sleep in the corner while me and my colleges chatted”. The actress admits that her son basically grew up on different sets and cannot imagine a life without constant traveling.

By the end of our interview we decided to look through the Code of Honour that the heroes of “The Kid Who Would Be King” follow:

GRAZIA: The first rule – “Don’t lie”.

R.F. Not sure about that. I admit that sometimes you can tell a “white lie” like the English say for a good cause.

GRAZIA: “Respect the others”.

R.F. Respect is good, but sometimes you so want to be a bit naughty.

GRAZIA: “Do what you do till the end”

R.F. I very much didn’t like a costar once. I did not feel satisfaction from the work and didn’t know how to stand up to myself. But this situation taught me another good lesson: “If something bothers you, say it from the start!”

(scans and translation from russian by @edwardslovelyelizabeth for Rebeccalouisaferguson.tumblr.com)

[coverthqs-blog]

Dear faculty, agents and cadets,

It has been 3 months since the attack on the North American Unit and I hope you are all finding the new living arrangements enjoyable. I know it can be hard to make changes to something that has been a long standing tradition for over 100 years but we are all a family here at the UEA and when one home gets destroyed we welcome those members to a different one. It is easy to get caught up in the friendly competition there has been between the North American Unit and the Eurasian Unit, but I am sure by now you all have learned to set aside your differences and see that we are all helping form the greater good; the future of the UEA. Until we find the source of the attack curfews and strict rule checks will still be in place. Below you will find the new quarterly roommate assignments for cadets.

Signed, Commissioner of the UEA

the time has come everyone! we are officially open for ic interactions! below wil be some basic knowledge to get everyone started as well as the cadet roommate list.

he attack on the north american unit was 3 months ago and the source is still unknown. cadets and agents alike have been trying to put the “rivalry” to bed, but we all know how competitive and strong minded spies can be so there are still some lingering jealous feelings. lessons and missions are still being conducted as normal. normally cadets have the opportunity to simulate field missions outside of the academy, this however has been put on hold due to the unknown attack and in fear of another one. agents are free to leave the premise at will but cadets must receive prior approval before leaving, again due to security. there is a strict curfew of 10 pm for all cadets and a wake up call of 6 am for lessons. feel free to star posting starters using the tag covertstart!

roommates:

tessa cahill & fallon radford

noelle lauren & katherine swan

jo thorne & rory knight

poppy vos & lilah chavez

ivy blake & adelaine lavoie

adri sousa & fiona krisof

maxine maracshido & amira sinclair

leyla burakgazi & pietra richetti

silas moon & hwang min-jae

jack guthrie & cass zabek

samson lillion & lucas wilson

nicolo clemete & daniel whitmore

[tuppencetrinkets-a]

   open starter for rori dearing. // info here.

       “What’s your poison, sugar?”  A smile, automatic, though not necessarily unkind, given to the person across the bar from her, inked fingers tapping randomly across the bar top as she waited, impatience brimming more from the lack of things to do in the mostly empty bar than the time it took for the person to answer.  “Make it a challenge enough and it might even be on the house.”

[clairefleischmann-blog]

Project Idea

This post outlines my concept for my Physical Computing: Using Microcontrollers with Fabrication Techniques end of term project  

Meet Douglas and Rory...

They both love books, especially lift the flap books.  A particular favourite for both boys has been the Rod Campbell book Dear Zoo, which is currently read every night (with mum (or dad) generated sounds effects).  This book has very little text, simple illustrations and a single flap to lift per page. But they LOVE it!!

I already have some experience with Arduino, and so for my end of term project I am particularly interested in exploring fabrication techniques which are new to me such as laser cutting. I found the laser cut books with flexible hinges shown to us in class very interesting.

So, for my end of term project I would like to explore an interactive lift the flap book for Douglas and Rory.  I want to create something in cardboard or wood that is simple but beautiful.

At a minimum, there will be one page with multiple flaps – raising a flap would trigger a reaction (at a minimum a sound related to the picture revealed).  If possible I would like to include multiple pages.

Other interactive elements in children’s books include tracks/grooves they can trace with their fingers and pressure switches that trigger sounds and/or lights – it may be possible to include elements of this in my design.

I have a choice of themes that would be of interest to the boys – either vehicles, farm animals or something Christmas related

Materials required

Cardboard or 2/3mm plywood

Illustrations and sound effects

Arduino

Light sensors (Arduino starter kit)

Start with Piezo from the starter kit but move to speaker + mp3 shield

[footyplusau]

Richmond Tigers v Adelaide Crows: Lennon hopes Prestia and Caddy can hit him on the chest

Ben Lennon, the Richmond player who considered leaving the club but stayed when he had no takers, says the arrival of Dion Prestia and Josh Caddy will help players like himself improve.

Lennon, who has managed just 19 games after three seasons with the Tigers, said he was fit and ready to work hard to improve. He believed the arrival of Prestia, from the Suns, and ex-Cat Caddy had added some new experience around the club, with both named in the squad to play Adelaide at Etihad Stadium on Friday night.

Play Video Don’t Play

Matt Priddis reveals 2017 Eagles skipper

Play Video Don’t Play

Previous slide Next slide

AFLW plays of round 3

AFLW plays of round 3

McCarthy sprints to goal of the round, GWS and Freo can’t take a trick, the Dees discover a power forward and Erin Phillips dobs one from 60 as the Crows remain top.

Matt Priddis reveals 2017 Eagles skipper

Play Video Don’t Play

Matt Priddis reveals 2017 Eagles skipper

Matt Priddis reveals 2017 Eagles skipper

West Coast’s Matt Priddis announces the 2017 Eagles Captain on Mix 94.5.

Inside Fremantle’s new home

Play Video Don’t Play

Inside Fremantle’s new home

Inside Fremantle’s new home

A time lapse view of the Dockers new digs at Cockburn. Vision: Fremantle Dockers.

Sam Day injured in win, North beat Swans

Play Video Don’t Play

Sam Day injured in win, North beat Swans

Sam Day injured in win, North beat Swans

The Gold Coast Suns horror injury run continues, with Sam Day struck down with what appears to be a dislocated hip, in their solid win over Brisbane. North Melbourne snuck past Sydney although both sides were missing key players.

Kade Stewart wins it for the Hawks

Play Video Don’t Play

Kade Stewart wins it for the Hawks

Kade Stewart wins it for the Hawks

After falling 41 points behind, Geelong came back in the third quarter only for Kade Stewart to grab a game deciding goal to win it by 4 points.

Nat Fyfe plans as Freo captain

Play Video Don’t Play

Nat Fyfe plans as Freo captain

Nat Fyfe plans as Freo captain

Fremantle Dockers new captain Nat Fyfe opens up on his plans as the club’s new skipper for the 2017 AFL season.

AFLW plays of round 3

McCarthy sprints to goal of the round, GWS and Freo can’t take a trick, the Dees discover a power forward and Erin Phillips dobs one from 60 as the Crows remain top.

“They’ve been really good for us, both pretty vocal as well, so helping a lot of the younger guys and they are both midfield stoppage kings,” Lennon said. “So it’s going to be good to hopefully get a few on the chest from both those players and yes I think they’ll be pretty good for us.

“I think that’s the reason we got them in. We targeted them and it’s definitely going to help us I think and you only have to watch the intraclub matches to see that they are doing their thing I guess. So I’m really looking forward to see what thy can do on Friday.”

Tigerish: With a full pre-season under his belt, Ben Lennon has high hopes for 2017. Photo: Penny Stephens

Lennon has had his first full pre-season since arriving at Punt Road and is confident of success after his recent good form in an intraclub match where he kicked four goals.

“It was good, a little reward,” he said. “Hopefully with a bigger fitness base I can do that throughout the season so that is the challenge.”

Lennon, 21, said he’d come to terms with his inability to find another club during the trade season, but coach Damien Hardwick had offered him a chance to develop further.

“I suppose [returning to Punt Road] the first day was a little bit nerve-racking but the club is in a pretty good spot and I’ve got plenty of good friend here so I was pretty quick to move onto the next thing, and just get into it.

“Yeah it’s all very good now. He [Hardwick] sat me aside and said that he was going to try and make me the player that he thinks he can. So he was good and really supportive, so it was all moving on.

“Now that I’m fit and I can do more things that I probably couldn’t have done the previous years … hopefully I can play some good footy and put my best foot forward. I think that is my main priority this year, to cement a spot in the team and I guess prove myself as a player.”

Out of contract after this year, Lennon said he had everything to play for. “I think it just gives me determination. Obviously it hasn’t gone to plan in the first three years. Now that I’m fit hopefully I can play some good footy and let that unfold at the end of the year.”

Lennon said he’s had support from his teammates and was hopeful key forward Jack Riewoldt would return to a leadership role.

“He’s really good, Jack, and I don’t think he needs the title as such, but if he does get elected then that would be great. But I’ve worked with him first-hand and he’s been great for us. He’s always someone who can have a joke and be serious which is a good balance to have.”

The Tigers have three new recruits in the squad for the match against Adelaide, with the Crows naming seven club debutantes.

Prestia, Caddy and Toby Nankervis are possible new starters for the Tigers, while Adelaide have named youngsters Harrison Wigg, Dean Gore, Harry Dear, Jono Beech, Hugh Greenwood, Paul Hunter and Myles Pholke, along with recruits Troy Menzel and Curtly Hampton.

Defender Andy Otten gets his first chance to play in the AFL for almost three years having returned from two serious knee injuries.

Richmond’s  squad:

Nick Vlastuin, Dylan Grimes, Dion Prestia, Dustin Martin, Brandon Ellis, Shaun Grigg, Ben Lennon, Jack Riewoldt, Trent Cotchin, Shane Edwards, Jake Batchelor, David Astbury, Daniel Rioli, Ivan Maric, Jacob Townsend, Josh Caddy, Ben Griffiths, Toby Nankervis, Anthony Miles, Sam Lloyd, Taylor Hunt, Reece Conca, Oleg Markov, Corey Ellis, Kamdyn McIntosh, Nathan Broad, Daniel Butler, Mabior Chol, Jason Castagna.

Adelaide’s squad: 1. Jonathon Beech, 4. Josh Jenkins, 8. Jake Kelly, 10. Harrison Wigg, 12. Daniel Talia, 13. Taylor Walker, 14. David Mackay, 15. Kyle Hartigan, 17. Curtly Hampton, 18. Eddie Betts, 20. Hugh Greenwood, 21. Rory Atkins, 22. Andy Otten, 23. Charlie Cameron, 24. Sam Jacobs, 26. Richard Douglas, 27. Tom Lynch, 28. Cam Ellis-Yolmen, 29. Rory Laird, 30. Wayne Milera Junior, 31. Myles Poholke, 32. Troy Menzel, 33. Brodie Smith, 36. Dean Gore, 37. Paul Hunter, 38. Harry Dear, 41. Mitch McGovern, 43. Reilly O’Brien, 44. Matt Crouch.

The post Richmond Tigers v Adelaide Crows: Lennon hopes Prestia and Caddy can hit him on the chest appeared first on Footy Plus.

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[tuppencetrinkets-a]

 @strxnzo liked for a starter from rori.

           “So what’s your poison, sweetheart?”  The bartender’s voice was pitched just loud enough to be heard through the residual din of the club, leaning forward a little under the guise of being heard.  “Whatever you’d like, on the house -- just don’t tell the boss man.”

[tuppencetrinkets-a]

@magicandsciencemuses gets a starter from rori for elias, ac.

         “You know -- if you like them so much, I could always give you one of your own,” Rori teased, shifting her weight just enough to press her cheek to one of the forearms crossed under her, head tilting, gaze drifting down her bare form to where Elias’ fingers roamed, tracing the lines and curves and whorls of the DNA strand that appeared to weave in and out and around her spinal column.   Her smirk lingered, though it wasn’t as if she was actually complaining.  She always liked when someone admired her designs, and she was never going to complain about pretty much anything that resulted in his fingers trailing across her skin.

[tuppencetrinkets-a]

@magicandsciencemuses  gets a starter for claire from rori, ac.

      “Look, I will happily listen to whatever you want to bitch at me about, but only if we can save it til when I’m not dripping blood all over your ridiculously expensive linoleum, ok?” The ice pack was pressed against her cheek and temple, a chunk of tissue shoved up one nostril, her own attempts at at least keeping the bruising from getting worse, but the cut on her eyebrow continued to dribble steadily, stubbornly, and she hadn’t been able to do much of anything with the scraped shoulder blade that was less bleeding and just bloody -- and probably full of miscellaneous debris from the brick wall of the bar.  It wasn’t like bar fights broke out every night, and usually when they did, she was quick enough to stay clear of the worst of it, but this particular crowd had been... ambitious. She could have gone to the hospital, or the clinic, but it would have taken a huge chunk of her personal savings just for minimum damage treatment and she didn’t want to dip into her monthly stipend for sleeve repair -- the last thing she wanted was for their parents to have another excuse to rag on her, when they deigned to acknowledge her existence.