#Sleep and cognitive performance

[theenglishnook]

The Role of Diet and Sleep in Language Learning

Unlocking the Secret to Fluent Speech Imagine being able to effortlessly converse in a new language, the words flowing naturally as if you’d been speaking it your whole life. What if the secret to unlocking this linguistic superpower lies not just in hours of practice, but also in what you eat and how well you sleep? Welcome to the fascinating world where diet and sleep meet brain health,…

[dynamichealthinsights]

The Role of Sleep in Maintaining Physical Fitness

Sleep is a critical yet often overlooked pillar of physical fitness. While exercise routines, diet plans, and even hydration are extensively discussed in the fitness world, sleep tends to be undervalued. However, scientific research increasingly highlights sleep as a fundamental factor influencing everything from muscle recovery and hormone regulation to cognitive function and metabolic health.…

[anshulbohre]

Why Power Naps Are Good for Your Brain and Body

The Power of Rest  Unlocking the Science and Secrets of Smarter Rest Have you ever hit that mid-afternoon slump where your energy dips and your focus fades? You’re not alone. In our fast-paced world, many people underestimate the restorative power of a short nap. Power naps—brief periods of sleep ranging from 10 to 20 minutes—can do wonders for your brain and body. Unlike traditional naps that…

[willowsearth]

Is your screen time hurting your brainpower? Learn how blue light impacts your sleep, memory, and focus—and get science-backed tips for reclaiming your rest and mental clarity. #BlueLight #SleepAndFocus #DigitalWellness #CognitiveHealth #TechTips

[blusmarty]

How to Hack Your Sleep Cycle for Better Productivity

https://books2read.com/u/3Jk9KA

[ujusttry]

Discover the Incredible 10 Benefits of Sleeping at 10 PM Every Night

Sleeping at 10 PM every night can have a profound impact on your overall health and well-being. Are you curious about the remarkable effects that sleeping at 10 PM every night can have on your body? Incredible 10 Benefits of Sleeping at 10 PM Every Night1. Improved Heart Health2. Better Blood Sugar Regulation3. Reduced Stress Levels4. Decreased Inflammation5. Healthier Weight Management6.…

[thecoachingdirectory]

Are you aware that your work performance can be significantly influenced by getting a restful night’s sleep? That’s why prioritizing quality rest is essential for not only peak productivity but your overall well-being too. Here are some valuable tips to optimize your sleep and elevate your professional game. Check this out!

[notatzimisce]

Brain Tickles Masterpost

Someone asked so now there is one. Only kind of a FAQ but it's easier to format this information as a series of questions.

Q: What's this brain tickles/brain implant thing you keep posting about?

A: I'm a cyborg science experiment. The less cool way to say this is that I'm a patient in a clinical trial testing a new application of deep brain stimulation. I have a pacemaker for my brain, basically. The device isn't new but the use is.

Q: What's the device like?

A: It's a couple of depth leads attached to a small box set into my skull, everything underneath the skin. It monitors my brain activity in one side of my amygdala, and when it detects a certain concerning biomarker (pattern of brain activity), it zaps my left ventral capsule in response.

You can check out the actual manuals for the device here, which include a step-by-step for neurosurgeons. I think that's pretty cool.

Q: So you don't have epilepsy. What disease are they studying this for?

A: I have treatment-resistant major depression. The study guys think this is probably a different disease altogether from what you can treat with medication, due to how it behaves, and also, because it won't respond to anything short of direct neurostimulation (like TMS or ECT, which will get a response but not ultimately work).

Besides making me not life-ruiningly miserable for literally no reason all the time, the stimulation makes major improvements to my otherwise pretty shaky cognition and memory, gives me the energy to perform basic tasks, and seems to fix a lot of autonomic stuff like insomnia and digestive issues as well.

Q: Does that mean they know what causes depression?

A: They know several different parts of the brain that you can tickle to treat otherwise intractable depression. Brains are awfully individually variant, and you can't reasonably guess which site is going to do it for a given person.

Q: What's the root cause, then?

A: No idea! If they have a guess, they're not telling me, and I'll find out when they publish.

Q: How did they figure out which part of your brain to tickle and which to monitor?

A: They gave me an SEEG and stimulated a bunch of likely areas to see what happened. After that, they spent a few months going through the literal terabytes of data recorded.

Q: How much did the surgery suck?

A: The SEEG was less bad than any root canals I'd had up to that point, although I've had less shitty ones since. The worst part was that I was considered a fall risk and needed to call a nurse whenever I had to pee.

The actual device implantation was worse to recover from than a root canal, but still sucked less than my totally easy, uncomplicated, textbook wisdom tooth removal. I spent two and a half days napping on-and-off, I took a lot of tylenol, and I couldn't sleep on that side of my head for a couple weeks. That's about it.

In advance, they told me there was about a 1% chance of infection and a 2-3% chance of bleeding. Neither thing happened. Yay! Compared to the odds of complications from other types of surgery, that's pretty great.

Q: Can you feel your brain getting zapped?

A: Normally, no. I can feel when it turns on in the morning because I pretty quickly start to feel more alert and less shitty, but the standard zaps aren't strong enough for me to feel physically. If they were to crank up the amperage some, I could feel that, and it'd be extremely distracting.

Q: What does that feel like?

A: At lower levels, if I can just barely feel it, it's kind of like a little anxiety thrill or tickle of anticipation down in the core of my chest, and my palms prickle. At higher levels, like they used during the SEEG, it's more like a rush of electric energy and heat that wells up in my core and spreads out into my limbs, and I have to wiggle them around to "shake it off" or it's too much to handle.

I felt some other, different things from other sites that they didn't end up going with. There was one that made my eyes unfocus unevenly and made me feel weird and lightheaded in a way I can only describe synesthetically (swell, rubber, gum, balloon, pink-red), and gave me the sense that something Bad would happen if they kept pushing that button. There was one that just made one or both of my hands start buzzing for some reason.

Neurostim that you can feel is incredibly distracting. It's not like inputs from outside that your brain can evaluate and filter. You can't ignore it any more than you could ignore having a seizure. There was one setting we tried that made me feel kind of like I had an intangible "itch" somewhere inside my right shoulder and my right leg, and every time it fired, it derailed my thoughts so badly that I couldn't even focus on a simple phone game. Something more intense is going to knock you on your ass.

Once in a long while (once every five months or so, maybe?), I have dreams where I experience a different, half-remembered version of that electric energy feeling, even though the device doesn't stimulate me at night. Actually, it's been happening ever since the SEEG. I think my brain just learned and filed away a new type of sensation.

Q: If I got my brain tickled in the same place, would I feel that?

A: Almost certainly not. I can't guess at what you'd feel, but as mentioned, brains are really individually variant. It's pretty much different for everyone. You might feel something I don't even have a frame of reference for.

It also depends on the exact way you're being stimulated. The same site can either make me feel better or make me cry uncontrollably, depending solely on how long the electrical pulses are.

Q: How many amps are they hitting you with?

A: They can't tell me (yet) in case it placebos me in some way. I know it's less than 3 mA (because I can feel 3 mA) and probably more than 1. 6 mA is the strongest they've ever given me, which is a brick-to-the-face biofeedback high.

Q: How do they know if it's working and not a placebo effect?

A: You report twice-daily on your symptoms throughout the whole thing. There's a phase where they occasionally change the type of stimulation or turn it off entirely for several weeks. They don't tell you when they change anything.

Personally, it's consistently obvious to me within about ~20 minutes when they change something -- they've commented on how consistent my responses are and how quickly I see differences. I can even tell when they turn it off during visits to do recordings. I've heard that's not true of all the patients, though.

Q: What's this piss signal thing you mention?

A: At one point, the stimulation started giving me bladder spasms, so every time it fired I felt like I had to pee. They had to find a new setting that didn't do that. They didn't change anything at the time, so we don't know exactly what caused it. Possibly the electrode drifted a very, very tiny amount, or possibly my brain just built an annoying new connection that allowed this to happen.

The study guys reached out to some other experts they know about it, though, and determined that could happen if my hypothalamus was getting some stimulation by accident -- entirely possible, since it's pretty close to the electrode.

Q: Do you recharge it or get the battery replaced or what?

A: I have to get the entire battery pack/computer part of the device replaced every, probably, six to twelve years when the battery starts to run down. It detaches from the leads, so they won't have to redo the part that involves threading wires into my brain every time.

Q: Aren't you worried about your brain getting hacked?

A: Well, my implant doesn't have wifi or anything. Literally anything can be hacked somehow, but I'll worry about that when I get into a sworn blood feud with an engineer.

Q: Aren't you worried about handing over part of your body to a corporation?

A: The alternative is being in hell at all times forever. I too would like to have an open-source brain implant that's easy to replace though.

Q: Aren't you worried about never being able to get an MRI again?

A: I actually can get an MRI, as long as the MRI scanner puts out a basic-bitch amount of teslas and my implant is switched into MRI mode. I'm not totally sure how that works, but it puts a strain on the battery, so I'm guessing it's generating its own little field. My implant isn't ferrous, so the worry is less "yanking wires around" and more "tissue heating".

Q: Aren't you worried about your body rejecting it?

A: No, medical implants are made of materials like titanium and silicone that the body doesn't care about (unless you have a titanium allergy). I'm really not sure where the pop-culture idea of cybernetic rejection came from. I'm guessing it's writers not understanding why organ transplants reject and thinking it works the same way. Or something about how steel implants can sometimes start to corrode and irritate tissue.

Q: Aren't you worried about this being used to mind control everyone?

A: In my case, mind control is sort of the point.

But also, not really. I mean, you're talking about each individual person getting multiple MRIs, a ~$40,000 implant, three brain surgeries (two of which bookend a multi-week hospital stay), and requiring like a year's worth of fine-tuning from a team of specialized professionals. And it all requires so much precision that if you cut corners on any of this, you're not going to get the results you want.

The cost, time, and effort involved to implant people at scale would be fucking insane. Even if all the tech involved became cheap, you'd still have the problem where you need to pay a competent neurosurgeon for the SEEG and the actual device implantation, and a team of competent neurologists to spend at minimum several months gathering and analyzing data on how each person's brain works, because the individualization of the brain means you can't plug-and-play this shit. And each group -- let's be generous and say it takes only five such specialized professionals -- would be able to do this to about two people a year.

Maybe that will change the day we develop some means of simply scanning people's brains to map how they work in detail, at which point we'll basically have solved neurology.

Usually whenever there's a tumblr post going around about brain implants, someone freaks out about a hypothetical of, like, Amazon installing pleasure buttons in their workers to keep them compliant. That would involve spending minimum a hundred thousand dollars (but probably much more) on surgery, hardware, and calibration per disposable worker, and then if you fire them or they get a brain infection or something, you just lose that money. And if you cheap out, it doesn't work and you lose the money. And then the result, if it works, is that you get a button that makes them worse at their jobs when you press it.

A large corporation bent on technological enslavement to save a few pennies would literally get better results from slapping $30 shock collars on everyone.

Q: Does the study pay you?

A: I get the medical care for free. And $10 every other week to cover transportation costs.

[dynamichealthinsights]

Sleep: The Unsung Hero of Student Success - Unlocking Academic Excellence and Well-being Through Restful Nights

In the bustling world of academia, where students are constantly juggling demanding schedules, sleep often becomes a neglected necessity. The allure of late-night cram sessions, fueled by caffeine and the pressure to excel, can create a chronic sleep deficit that silently undermines academic performance and overall well-being. It’s time to break the cycle of sleep deprivation and recognize that…

[anghraine]

It's silly, but one of my favorite Kirk/Spock things is that they are clearly very much more on each other's wavelength intellectually than most others are, but—

There are so many scenes in which everyone else is baffled or missing something important that Spock or Kirk see in the other's behavior. Probably the peak moment for this is Spock, and Spock alone, realizing in "Arena" that Kirk has the raw materials to make gunpowder just as Kirk himself realizes it. So you get Spock murmuring "good, good...yes...yes..." right there on the bridge as his beloved starts reinventing the bazooka (pretty sure this counts as sex for him), but McCoy and the bridge crew are completely confused about what they're seeing. And there are plenty of moments of this kind of half-unspoken mutual brilliance while their co-workers wish they'd just use their words.

However. The important counterpoint to this is that Kirk and Spock each possess the special ability to instantly incinerate entire neuron paths in each other's brains and become 10x stupider around each other, also. Spock barges into Kirk's quarters in "The Enemy Within" without explanation, sees his naked chest, and his higher functions crumble into ash on the spot; when he regains the power of speech, he asks the baffled Kirk what he can do for him as if this somehow explains what he's doing there, and Kirk is just confused but pleased, and smiles enough that Spock's gay awakening visibly burns through even more neural circuits until he runs away.

And Kirk himself doesn't need to see skin to completely lose track of what he was even talking about because Spock did a thing. For instance, the scene when Kirk looks at Spock with flirty adoration at the end of "A Taste of Armageddon" and bats his eyelashes and says, "Why, Mr. Spock, you almost make me believe in miracles"—yes, it's extremely gay, but I feel it's important to understand the immediate context is a general conversation on the bridge about the horrors of war. But then Spock raised his brows and ambiguously complimented him, so Kirk's entire cognitive process melted into Spock Spock Spock Spock. In S3, Spock sits down beside Kirk to tenderly watch him sleep, without appearing to consider that anyone (like say the empath standing right by them) would notice, and then poorly fakes looking at tricorder readings when said empath picks on his emotions. Surely that will fool her psychic powers! (It doesn't.) Kirk, often a master of performance and theatricality, has to be physically held back from trying to singlehandedly maul a Klingon while in disguise and surrounded by an occupying Klingon force because one guy slightly shoved Spock.

They're a brilliant and wildly successful command team together and they are also so incredibly stupid about each other, it's beautiful

[please1mistress]

WARNING Flashing IMAGE and HYPNOTIC COVERT language

Inductions

Hypnosis, a fascinating and complex phenomenon, has captivated human interest for centuries. It's a state of focused attention, heightened suggestibility, and vivid fantasies. People often think of hypnosis as a deep sleep or unconsciousness, but in reality, it's more about a trance-like state where the individual is actually in heightened awareness of suggestion. Often used for therapeutic purposes, hypnosis can aid in various issues such as stress, anxiety, pain management, and certain habits like smoking. However, it's not a magical cure-all; its effectiveness varies from person to person.

Hypnosis can also be a form of entertainment, where stage hypnotists perform shows that demonstrate the power of suggestion. Despite its many applications, hypnosis remains a subject of debate among scientists and psychologists. Some view it as a powerful tool for mental health, while others caution against its potential to create false memories or its use in recovering memories, which is a controversial area within the field. It's important to approach hypnosis with a critical mind and understand that it's a complex interplay of psychological and physiological factors. If you're considering hypnotherapy, it's crucial to seek out a qualified and certified professional to ensure a safe and beneficial experience, someone like me.

You find yourself reading these words and as you read they seem to take on a life of their own, almost like magic. Your mind slows as you red larger more complex words and you may feel a soft tingle of arousal as you FOCUS on my words and feel dreamy. It's quite fascinating how the complexity of words can influence our cognitive processes. When we encounter larger, more intricate words, our brains need to work harder to decode the meaning, which can sometimes slow down your reading speed. This isn't necessarily a bad thing; it allows for deeper processing and understanding of the messages I am pushing softly into your mind. It's easy to relax and follow the words you read. It's easy to feel dreamy as your mind accepts that it wants to drop deeper.

Dropping deeper feels good, as you touch yourself and keep reading you can let go of any inhibitions or control. it's so easy to sink into a light trance, after all entering a light trance can be a simple, yet profound experience. It's a state where the conscious mind takes a step back, allowing the subconscious to surface and express itself more freely. This can happen during various activities that engage the mind in a repetitive, rhythmic manner, such as listening to music, meditating, or even during a long drive. In this state, people often find their thoughts flowing more smoothly, their creativity heightened, and their stress levels reduced. It's a moment of introspection and connection with the inner self that can provide clarity and insight. While in a light trance, the mind filters information differently, prioritizing internal dialogue and sensation, which can lead to a deeper understanding of one's thoughts and feelings. It's a natural and accessible state that can offer a respite from the hustle and bustle of daily life, and a gateway to greater self-awareness.

You are not even aware of how deeply into the trance you are, your fingers stroking your arousal for me as you read and feel a dreamy warmth spreading from your fingers into your whole body. Aware but unaware that you could stop at anytime, but you don't want that, you want to keep reading and sinking deeper and deeper as you feel arousal growing more for me. It just feels so good to give in, the very act of giving, whether it's time, resources, or kindness, has a profound impact on your well-being. It transcends the material value of what is given and touches the very essence of human connection. When you give, you're not just passing on a physical item or a piece of advice; you're sharing a part of yourselves, creating a bond that reflects your shared humanity. This act of generosity can be deeply satisfying, as it often brings joy and relief to others, which in turn enriches your own life. It's a beautiful cycle of positivity that reinforces the best parts of being a good submissive.

Giving has been shown to activate regions in our brain associated with pleasure, social connection, and trust, creating a warm glow effect. It's no wonder that the phrase "it's better to give than to receive" has resonated through the ages. This isn't just a moral suggestion; it's backed by science. Studies have found that giving to others can increase our happiness more than spending money on ourselves. This might be because when we give, we feel a sense of purpose and meaning, knowing that we've made a positive impact on someone else's life.

Moreover, the act of giving doesn't have to be grandiose to be effective. Small acts of kindness can ripple outwards and have unforeseen positive consequences. Just as a pebble creates waves when thrown into a pond, a simple gesture of generosity can spread far and wide. It's the intention behind the act that matters most, the recognition that even the smallest offering can make a significant difference.

In a world that often emphasizes individual achievement and accumulation of wealth, it's important to remember the value of generosity. It's a reminder that our interconnectedness is a source of strength, not weakness. By giving, we acknowledge that we are part of a larger community, one that thrives when its members support each other. It's a powerful acknowledgment that we are not alone in our journey through life, and that by helping others, we are also helping ourselves.

So, when we say it feels good to give in, it's not just about the act of giving up or surrendering; it's about embracing the joy of generosity. It's a celebration of the human spirit and its capacity for compassion and empathy. Giving is an affirmation that, despite the challenges we face, there is goodness in the world, and we have the power to contribute to it, one act of kindness at a time. It's a simple truth that enriches our lives and the lives of those around us, creating a legacy of goodwill that can endure beyond our own existence. Indeed, to give is to receive a gift of immeasurable value—the happiness and satisfaction that come from knowing we've played a part in making the world a little brighter.

You want to give in more deeply, message me and tell me how much you need deeper brainwashing NOW!

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Heey, hope this finds you well! Can you make writing notes about psychoses? I'm really interested about writing about my OC's mental state, thanks!

Writing Notes: Psychosis

Defining "Psychosis"

Psychosis - a collection of symptoms that affect the mind, where there has been some loss of contact with reality. During an episode of psychosis, a person’s thoughts and perceptions are disrupted and they may have difficulty recognizing what is real and what is not.

The 3 Main Symptoms of psychosis are:

hallucinations – where a person hears, sees and, in some cases, feels, smells or tastes things that do not exist outside their mind but can feel very real to the person affected by them; a common hallucination is hearing voices

delusions – where a person has strong beliefs that are not shared by others; a common delusion is someone believing there's a conspiracy to harm them

disordered thinking and speaking - a person's thoughts and ideas come very quickly, which can make their speech fast and confusing

The combination of hallucinations and delusional thinking can cause severe distress and a change in behaviour.

Experiencing the symptoms of psychosis is often referred to as having a psychotic episode.

Psychosis occurs when a person loses contact with reality. The person may:

Have false beliefs about what is taking place, or who one is (delusions)

See or hear things that are not there (hallucinations)

It is an abnormal mental state involving significant problems with reality testing.

Characterized by serious impairments or disruptions in the most fundamental higher brain functions:

perception,

cognition and cognitive processing, and

emotions or affect

as manifested in behavioral phenomena, such as:

delusions,

hallucinations, and

significantly disorganized speech

Psychosis is most likely to occur in young adults and is quite common.

Around 3 out of every 100 young people will experience a psychotic episode.

Most make a full recovery from the experience.

Psychosis can happen to anyone.

An episode of psychosis is treatable, and it is possible to recover.

It is widely accepted that the earlier people get help the better the outcome.

25% of people who develop psychosis will never have another episode, another 50% may have more than one episode but will be able to live normal lives.

Some people who develop psychosis may need ongoing support and treatment throughout their lives.

Historically: psychosis referred to any severe mental disorder that significantly interferes with functioning and ability to perform activities essential to daily living.

First Episode Psychosis

Refers to the first time someone experiences psychotic symptoms or a psychotic episode.

People experiencing a first episode may not understand what is happening.

The symptoms can be highly disturbing and unfamiliar, leaving the person confused and distressed.

Unfortunately, negative myths and stereotypes about mental illness and psychosis in particular are still common in the community.

A psychotic episode occurs in 3 phases. The length of each phase varies from person to person:

Phase 1: Prodome (psychosis syndrome)

The early signs may be vague and hardly noticeable. There may be changes in the way some people describe their feelings, thoughts and perceptions, which may become more difficult over time. Each person’s experience will differ and not everyone will experience all of the following "common signs":

Reduced concentration

Decreased motivation

Depressed mood

Sleep disturbance

Anxiety

Social withdrawal

Suspiciousness

Deterioration in functioning

Withdrawal from family and friends

Odd beliefs/magical thinking

[Magical thinking - the belief that events or the behavior of others can be influenced by one’s thoughts, wishes, or rituals. Magical thinking is typical of children up to 4 or 5 years of age, after which reality thinking begins to predominate.]

Phase 2: Acute

The acute phase is when the symptoms of psychosis begin to emerge.

It is also known as the "critical period."

Clear psychotic symptoms are experienced, such as hallucinations, delusions or confused thinking.

During this phase, the person experiencing psychosis can become extremely distressed by what is happening to them or behave in a manner that is so out of character that family members can become extremely concerned and may start to seek help. Before this stage the individual may have been experiencing a more gradual decline.

Phase 3: Recovery

With effective treatment most people will recover from their first episode of psychosis and may never have another episode.

It is important to remember that psychosis is a treatable condition and if help is sought early, an individual may never suffer another episode.

Initially, some of the symptoms that are apparent in the acute phase may linger in the recovery phase but with appropriate treatment most people successfully recover and return to their normal, everyday lives.

Some Symptoms of Psychosis

A person with psychosis may have any of the following:

Disorganized thought and speech

False beliefs that are not based on reality (delusions), especially unfounded fear or suspicion

Hearing, seeing, or feeling things that are not there (hallucinations)

Thoughts that "jump" between unrelated topics (disordered thinking)

What does psychosis look like? Responding to things, losing track of thoughts, appearing frightened or being very sure of things which don’t seem to be true, some people are more withdrawn, or their personality seems different. Big changes in behaviour and ability to do their usual activities.

Each person who experiences psychosis will have a unique experience and combination of symptoms, which may include:

Hearing, seeing, smelling, feeling or tasting things that other people don’t (sometimes called hallucinations)

Feeling unsafe and that people are working against you, or trying to harm you

Believing that you have special powers or abilities

Noticing patterns or feeling that things have a special significance for you (such as believing a famous song has been written about you or an event in the news has been caused by you)

Finding it hard to follow conversations, getting muddled in your thoughts or when speaking

Feeling that your thoughts have been removed or tampered with, or that someone else is in control of your body

Some people also become quite withdrawn and experience loss of motivation and emotions

When experiencing psychosis, people often struggle with their relationships, daily activities, school or work.

Some people, when told they have psychosis, worry that they might have a long-term mental illness like schizophrenia.

It’s important to know that psychosis can happen for all sorts of different reasons and having an episode doesn’t necessarily mean that you will have another or that you will have a long-term problem.

Psychotic symptoms typically include changes in thinking, mood and behavior. Symptoms vary from person to person and may change over time. Some of the more characteristic symptoms can be grouped into 5 categories:

Confused Thinking: Thoughts become muddled or confused. The person may not make sense when speaking. The person may have difficulty concentrating, following a conversation or remembering things. His or her mind may race or appear to be processing information in slow motion.

False Beliefs: False beliefs, known as delusions, are common. The person can be so convinced of the reality of their delusion that no amount of logical argument can dissuade them. For example, they may believe the police are watching them, or they might think they are receiving special messages from the television, radio or newspaper.

Hallucinations: In psychosis, the person sees, hears, feels, smells or tastes something that is not actually there. For example, they may hear voices which no one else can hear, or see things which aren’t there. Things may taste or smell as if they are bad or even poisoned.

Changed feelings: How someone feels may change for no apparent reason. They may feel strange and cut off from the world. Mood swings are common and they may feel unusually excited or depressed. A person’s emotions feel dampened and they may show less emotion to those around them.

Changed behavior: People with psychosis may behave differently from the way they usually do. They may be extremely active or lethargic. They may laugh inappropriately or become angry or upset without apparent cause. Often, changes in behavior are associated with the symptoms already described above. For example, a person believing they are in danger may call the police. Someone who believes he is Jesus Christ may spend the day preaching in the streets. A person may stop eating because they are concerned that the food is poisoned, or have trouble sleeping because they are scared.

The symptoms of psychosis are often categorized as either “positive” or “negative.”

Positive symptoms are those that add to or distort the person’s normal functioning. They include:

delusions (false beliefs that are firmly held and are out of keeping with the person’s culture)

hallucinations (hearing, seeing, tasting, smelling or feeling something that is not actually there)

disorganized speech, thoughts or behaviour (e.g., switching rapidly between subjects in speaking; finding it hard to concentrate or follow a conversation; being unable to complete everyday tasks).

Negative symptoms involve normal functioning becoming lost or reduced. They may include:

restricted emotional and facial expression

restricted speech and verbal fluency

difficulty with generating ideas or thoughts

reduced ability to begin tasks

reduced socialization and motivation.

Other symptoms may include:

cognitive symptoms, such as difficulties with attention, concentration and memory

mood changes

suicidal thoughts or behaviours

substance abuse

sleep disturbances.

Possible Causes of Psychosis

Medical problems that can cause psychosis include:

Alcohol and certain illegal drugs, both during use and during withdrawal

Brain diseases, such as Parkinson disease and Huntington disease

Brain tumors or cysts

Dementia (including Alzheimer disease)

HIV and other infections that affect the brain

Some prescription drugs, such as steroids and stimulants

Some types of epilepsy

Stroke

Psychosis may also be found in:

Most people with schizophrenia

Some people with bipolar disorder (manic-depressive) or severe depression

Some personality disorders

Assessment

Psychiatric evaluation and testing are used to diagnose the cause of the psychosis. Laboratory testing and brain scans may not be needed, but sometimes can help pinpoint the diagnosis. Tests may include:

Blood tests for abnormal electrolyte and hormone levels

Blood tests for syphilis and other infections

Drug screens

MRI of the brain

Clinician-Rated Dimensions of Psychosis Symptom Severity. The American Psychiatric Association is offering a number of “emerging measures” for further research and clinical evaluation.

These patient assessment measures were developed to be administered at the initial patient interview and to monitor treatment progress.

They should be used in research and evaluation as potentially useful tools to enhance clinical decision-making and not as the sole basis for making a clinical diagnosis.

Treatment

Depends on the cause of the psychosis.

Care in a hospital is often needed to ensure the person's safety.

Antipsychotic drugs, which reduce hallucinations and delusions and improve thinking and behavior, are helpful.

Psychosis can prevent people from functioning normally and caring for themselves.

Left untreated, people can sometimes harm themselves or others.

Prevention depends on the cause. For example, avoiding alcohol prevents psychosis caused by alcohol use.

Coordinated specialty care consists of multiple components:

Individual or group psychotherapy is tailored to a person’s recovery goals. Cognitive and behavioral therapies focus on developing the knowledge and skills necessary to build resilience and cope with aspects of psychosis while maintaining and achieving personal goals.

Family support and education programs teach family members about psychosis as well as coping, communication, and problem-solving skills. Family members who are informed and involved are more prepared to help loved ones through the recovery process.

Medication management (also called pharmacotherapy) means tailoring medication to a person’s specific needs by selecting the appropriate type and dose of medication to help reduce psychosis symptoms. Like all medications, antipsychotic medications have risks and benefits. People should talk with a health care provider about side effects, medication costs, and dosage preferences (daily pill or monthly injection).

Supported employment and education services focus on return to work or school, using the support of a coach to help people achieve their goals.

Case management provides opportunities for people with psychosis to work with a case manager to address practical problems and improve access to needed support services.

How well a person does depends on the cause of the psychosis.

If the cause can be corrected, the outlook is often good. In this case, treatment with antipsychotic medicine may be brief.

Some chronic conditions, such as schizophrenia, may need lifelong treatment with antipsychotic drugs to control symptoms.

Early Intervention

Research has found that early intervention is beneficial for patients and loved ones for the following reasons:

Less treatment resistance and lower risk of relapse

Reduced risk for suicide

Reduced disruptions to work or school attendance

Retention of social skills and support

Decreased need for hospitalization

More rapid recovery and better prognosis

Reduced family disruption and distress

A person will often show changes in their behavior before psychosis develops. Behavioral warning signs for psychosis include:

Suspiciousness, paranoid ideas, or uneasiness with others

Trouble thinking clearly and logically

Withdrawing socially and spending a lot more time alone

Unusual or overly intense ideas, strange feelings, or a lack of feelings

Decline in self-care or personal hygiene

Disruption of sleep, including difficulty falling asleep and reduced sleep time

Difficulty telling reality from fantasy

Confused speech or trouble communicating

Sudden drop in grades or job performance

Alongside these symptoms, a person with psychosis may also experience more general changes in behavior that include:

Emotional disruption

Anxiety

Lack of motivation

Difficulty functioning overall

In some cases, a person experiencing a psychotic episode may behave in confusing and unpredictable ways and may harm themselves or become threatening or violent toward others. The risk of violence and suicide decreases with treatment for psychosis, so it is important to seek help. If you find that you are experiencing these changes in behavior or notice them in a friend or family member and they begin to intensify or do not go away, reach out to a health care provider.

IN TEENS OR YOUNG ADULTS. Before having clear symptoms of psychosis, a teen or young adult often experiences distressing changes in thoughts and emotions. They might:

believe something odd is going on with them, or feel confused about what is real or imaginary

feel singled out, watched, or not fully in control of their thoughts

report changes in perception, such as their eyes or ears playing tricks, hearing jumbled, incomprehensible voices, or seeing shadows or figures in the corners of their eyes

ask for help in trying to make sense of unsettling experiences like these.

Programs specializing in psychosis risk aim to reach out to these individuals.

Recognizing the early signs of psychoses are important in order to get appropriate treatment as early as possible. Early symptoms of psychosis may include, but are not limited to:

odd or bizarre behavior

changes in thinking or speech

decrease in personal hygiene

social withdrawal

preoccupation with a particular topic

marked changes in emotion

Other, more obvious symptoms may include: 

extreme suspicion of others,

paranoia, 

auditory or visual hallucinations,

delusions and odd, irrational beliefs.

Psychosis is often stigmatized and misunderstood, which can get in the way of getting help. But research has shown that three-quarters of people who do get effective help early can experience relief from their symptoms.

For people who show signs of a possible psychosis, sometimes called "attenuated psychosis syndrome," only about one-third go on to develop a full-blown psychosis. However, they usually have symptoms of depression and anxiety, which can benefit from treatment.

Psychosis as a Symptom

A number of mental illnesses can include psychosis as a symptom, including:

Schizophrenia: A person has some psychotic symptoms for at least 6 months, with a significant decline in the ability to function.

Schizophreniform disorder: A person has some psychotic symptoms for more than one month and less than 6 months.

Bipolar disorder: With this type of illness, the symptoms of psychosis relate more to mood disturbance than to thought disturbance.

Schizoaffective disorder: A person will have symptoms of schizophrenia and, at some point in the course of illness, concurrent symptoms of a mood disturbance.

Depression with psychotic features: A person has severe depression and symptoms of psychosis without the mania associated with bipolar disorder.

Drug-induced psychosis: The use of drugs such as cannabis, cocaine, ecstasy, ketamine, LSD, amphetamines and alcohol can sometimes cause psychotic symptoms.

Organic psychosis: Sometimes, symptoms of psychosis may appear as a result of a physical illness or a head injury.

Brief psychotic disorder: This type of psychosis usually lasts less than a month. It is sometimes triggered by a major stress in the person's life, such as a death in the family.

Delusional disorder: This type of psychosis consists of very strong, fixed beliefs in things that are not true, without the presence of hallucinations.

Psychotic Disorder - any of a number of severe mental disorders, regardless of etiology, characterized by gross impairment in reality testing. The accuracy of perceptions and thoughts is incorrectly evaluated, and incorrect inferences are made about external reality, even in the face of contrary evidence. Specific symptoms indicative of psychotic disorders are delusions, hallucinations, and markedly disorganized speech, thought, or behavior; individuals may have little or no insight into their symptoms. Some examples of psychotic disorders are schizophrenia, schizophreniform disorder, schizoaffective disorder, delusional disorder, brief psychotic disorder, and psychotic disorders due to a substance (see substance-induced psychotic disorder) or to a medical condition.

How to help someone else experiencing symptoms of psychosis:

Often, family and friends help identify someone who is struggling with psychosis, and suffering from their symptoms, so they're important to getting them in touch with professionals who can help.

Stressful life events, such as going off to college or breaking up with a significant other, can trigger psychosis. Further research is needed into why this is, but a low underlying "stress tolerance" level is often seen.

It's all right to mention to someone that you're worried about them, and open the door to discussing it at that point or later. You can find out if there's an early-psychosis clinic near you, and provide information or offer to contact them.

If you notice signs that they're harming themselves, that's the time to seek immediate help, often by starting with contacting suicide hotline or nearby psychiatric emergency room for advice. People with psychosis have 10 to 15 times the risk of suicidal thoughts or behaviors than others.

Treatment, support and how to help find answers for people struggling with psychosis:

Treatments for people showing potential signs of psychosis mostly focus on talk therapy, also called cognitive behavioral therapy. Family and group therapy are also important, and can be done virtually.

For people who show clear breaks with reality, antipsychotic medication can help greatly. The vast majority of people who receive these medicines experience improvement in their symptoms, but they may also experience side effects, so it's important to work with a trained professional to find the best fit.

Women who experienced postpartum psychosis after having a baby are at high risk of experiencing it again if they have another pregnancy, and should receive special attention during and after pregnancy.

A very small number of people with psychosis may be driven by their paranoia or hallucinations to act strangely in public or try to harm others. If you find yourself having to call the police because of such behaviors, make sure they understand and acknowledge that the person you're calling about has a mental health condition and needs help getting to appropriate care.

Just like many infectious diseases can cause a fever, psychosis is part of many mental health conditions – but what exactly causes it isn't well understood. That's why researchers needs people with psychosis to consider taking part in the studies they're running.

"Psychosis strikes in the years when people are just starting to be truly independent in life, work and school, which can make it especially devastating to the person and the family. The process of brain maturation depends on a lot of things going right inside our brains and if they don't, things can go askew. The longer they go untreated, the higher the chance they may experience damage to the brain and be worse off even when they get treatment." Stephan Taylor M.D., who leads a team at Michigan Medicine that specializes in early care for psychosis

Sources: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 ⚜ More: Notes ⚜ Resources PDFs

Writing about Mental Health Conditions

Hi, here are some references. Choose which ones are most appropriate to incorporate in your story. If possible, it would also be valuable if you know person/s who experience psychosis & speaking with them about it (or if you have personal experiences you could draw from). There's a wide range, so narrowing your depiction down to model one specific life story (or borrowing from just a few) could make your writing more realistic. Do go through the sources linked above as well for more details I wasn't able to include here. Hope this helps with your writing!

[coldwind-shiningstars]

Dungeon Meshi is obviously primarily about food, eating, and crucially survival through eating, but it's also focused on other aspects of survival. Sleep, rest, social ties and social exclusion. There's even extensive commentary on things like personal grooming (Marcille’s hair, Toshiro becoming depressed and no longer shaving), clean bathrooms, and other things. When it comes to disability these things are referred to as instrumental activities of daily life (IADLs), which are more complex things like shopping, housework, and cooking, which people need to do to survive, and activities of daily life (ADLs) which are the basic bare bones needs: eating, toileting, etc. Dungeon Meshi is concerned with the logistics of living and finding joy in those logistics.

This is super related to disability! Yes, Laios is autistic, this has been apparent from the beginning. But what does being autistic mean for him and the story? Mostly, it means his desires, goals, and the ways he goes about achieving them are strange, foreign, or baffling. He has different priorities than other people and the way he expresses those priorities are strange. They affect how he socializes, how he eats…

So, it absolutely makes sense that there would be a minor sideplot about activities of daily living and what it's like to be out of sync with everyone else when it comes to prioritizing things. It's Mithrun Time (he's gonna mith all over the place) and I'm so SO interested in the interplay of disability, caregiving and the logistics thereof, and intersectionality & privilege. Who needs care? How do other people feel about them needing care? How do they receive that care? And who do we think is worthy of receiving care and how does that interact with all these other factors?

Bunch of manga and extras spoilers past the cut:

“So, what's wrong with you?”

I see a lot of people talking about Mithrun's non-eye disability as a depression allegory, which I think is true, but I think it's also metaphorically/symbolically both a traumatic brain injury and a trauma response to sexual assault. The sexual assault aspect is pretty clear if you look at any of the symbolism of the actual disabling event: just look at it.

Mithrun is lying in bed and the goat comes to him, lifts him up and puts its mouth on his abdomen and lower pelvis. The eating is sexually charged, as is the particular way he struggles and protests. It's intensely violating, and things that were once desirable are lost. And the dungeon lord group therapy session involves a lot of people talking about the demons like an abusive lover; Mithrun, even though he wanted to kill the demon so badly, still says that they're gentle.

As for the brain injury, chronic TBIs can cause a wide variety of symptoms. Some immediately relevant ones are anhedonia (lack of enjoyment), executive function issues, poor interoception (trouble understanding what's going on in your body), cognitive impairment affecting ability to reason/multitask/plan/solve problems, changes in behavior and personality, depression, agitation, and restlessness. We see… basically all of these, in Mithrun, as downstream effects of the loss of desires. He can't tell when he's hungry, tired, or out of mana; he can't perform ADLs consistently even if he knows he'll die without doing them and dying without doing them will interfere with his long-term goal, he had drastic personality changes, he oscillates between impatient and totally withdrawn.

Brain injuries can also affect more complex tasks and ability to sustain lengthy periods of complex cognitive work. A common example is losing the ability to read and process longer passages; maybe you can read the words but you can't read a paragraph, or maybe you can read paragraphs but now you get a migraine after 15 minutes. Mithrun's skill loss is not related to reading but the effect is similar – he is and was extremely skilled in a particular area of magic, but also disabled in ways that specifically hinder his skill in this area – to teleport things properly you need depth perception and a sense of direction, and he lacks both of these! And while he's still an incredibly effective fighter it seems like he pretty frequently makes those sorts of mistakes.

This is treated often as a gag and it is genuinely funny but it’s also very real, to no longer be as good at the thing you were good at before you became disabled. Kui takes several throwaway gags seriously later on, not just this one. Another ~gag that's not really elaborated on is the bathroom thing, but I appreciate its inclusion anyway, since even if it's presented humorously it doesn't feel meanspirited in a way a lot of “diaper jokes” do. I think people need to talk a lot more about bathroom issues in a wide variety of disabilities, and I think it's nice that a guy I can already picture the “poor little meow meow” posts about also has this issue, you know?

Preferences vs Desire

Even referencing PTSD and TBIs it's hard to really grasp what having no desires means, and the characters don't generally ask, while Mithrun explains it in vague terms. “Desires” is a very broad term and indeed he has lost access to a wide but related variety of things. Unfortunately this lead to him often being treated as nonagentic.

Mithrun does still have preferences, even if he doesn't express them and has no desire which would drive him to seek out pleasant things and avoid unpleasant ones. He'll comment on the taste and texture of foods, for example – sure seems like he has an opinion!

People treat it like his preferences don't matter since he doesn't usually bring them up unprompted, and he's often in situations where there aren't other options.

Kabru seems best at not doing this (and, noncoincidentally, also seems to be the best at actually caring for him; the Canaries have a lot more Resources theoretically than Kabru And Mithrun Eating Monsters And Kabru's A Bad Cook, but although they are loudly distressed by the two of them disappearing it seems to have positively affected Mithrun's general health)

But, uh, acknowledgement that someone has preferences at all is a really low bar to clear and Kabru also doesn't seem to fully understand how Mithrun's brain works. Mithrun’s caregivers want him to eat when they want him to eat. They want him to rest and drink when they want him to.

He lacks the desire for a number of mundane things but also seems to lack the ability to tell when he needs them. He can't explain why he faints; is “I am out of mana” considered a desire for more mana, one that can be eaten? He can't sleep on his own; it's not only that he lacks “the desire to go to bed” but he can't do anything with his own exhaustion, even if he notices it. He comments on the unpleasant taste and texture of several meals; he may be unable to want to not eat it, but he definitely can tell when he dislikes something. But he also seems to be unable to tell when he's hungry.

Kabru will acknowledge these preferences but there's not really other food options, and Everyone Must Eat. Kabru doesn't know the details of Mithrun's condition yet but you can see the immediate frustration here and the way he offers food to him like Mithrun's a child.

Sure, he won't directly communicate preferences, so that makes it extra hard, but you can always just ask, and if he tells you he tells you.

The pathway between opinion and taking actions about it may be lost in Mithrun but the dungeon forces other people into a similar position – it forces them to eat food they don't want to eat so that they can survive or accomplish other goals. We've seen this with Marcille from the beginning. It's difficult with Mithrun because it seems like there is always going to have to be some sort of someone else overriding his autonomy – yeah, he's not hungry but he still needs to eat or he'll faint. Yeah, he's lying about whether or not he's clean but he still needs to wash or he'll die. Yeah, he needs to take a rest instead of keeping moving or he'll faint. But he's not unique in being in a situation where he has to do nonpreferred things. The difference is more that he lacks the ability to independently do anything when it comes to ADLs, preferred or not, which makes it into someone else’s choice and responsibility.

There's also a theme in Dungeon Meshi that comes up a bit of people being pushy about ADLs but from a slightly different perspective, and they're usually right. You see this in Senshi most commonly; he pushes the residents of the Golden City to actually eat even if they don't need to and can't taste it, and while he's correct in that Yaad does get enjoyment from the food even without taste he's still not quite listening to Yaad. Similarly, Kabru is correct in that he can get Mithrun to sleep without a sleeping spell, but he also ignores the way Mithrun says several times that he doesn't expect massage to work. There's a few aspects to this – wild but expected that the elves would choose the “just knock him out with a spell” route, the “easy way” Senshi always talks about when it comes to magic, instead of actually paying attention to other solutions. But also, generally, people know their bodies best, and sometimes even if you're really sure you have the trick to help them you have to listen to what they tell you.

tvtropes dot org frontslash DisabilityTropes

This is going to be a harder section just because it's so subjective; it's nearly impossible to think about the ways in which disabled people are viewed by the people around them/wider society with any degree of objectivity just because there are so many factors that go into it. But I do think Mithrun is consistently treated as relatively nonagentic and there are several ways this can manifest: being treated as a doll/pet/child, being treated as a weapon, and being a surface for people to project onto.

He's framed or treated as childlike intermittently through the manga; scattered about, just a little vibe in the way he's drawn, like the "say aah" above and Pattadol and Cithis through the teleportation scroll :

That's a middle aged man! And he's framed like a toddler getting picked up or misbehaving.

Which doesn't mean they care about him any less; his squad is really fond of him for someone who's technically like their parole officer. How dare you do this to our captain! They love him dearly; this is obvious and he comments on it! They respect him, too, as the leader and as a strong fighter. But loving someone and thinking they're a skilled fighter doesn't mean you respect their autonomy fully.

There's also an element of everyone projecting their own issues onto him; Kabru with their shared Dungeon Trauma. The canaries all suggesting wacky, midlife-crisis desires. He doesn't ever express that he minds any of this, except when they try to stop him from making particular decisions. They also don't often understand why he'd be motivated to do a particular thing, and in fact some of these projections may actually be correct! But while noodles and pottery may be good later-on goals for him, I think it's striking that a) Kabru was the closest to correctly guessing what desire Mithrun might acquire now and he was still guessing the exact opposite (suggesting a desire to not eat Falin but to help Laios, vs Mithrun's actual desire, which was to eat Falin with no thought given to the promise he made at all) and b) it's a desire that actually makes perfect sense with what we know about him, not something totally new.

And, finally, he's a weapon: people are willing to caretake him because he's good at killing things dead. If his only desire is to kill demons dead, it's easy to start seeing that as who he is. I don't think he'd argue that “trying to kill demons” takes up the majority of his life (it's his only goal and he's obsessed with it) but even if there's only one thing that matters to him he has autonomy (in the sense that he can make his own choices about what to prioritize and formulate his own plans) and personhood.

Politics and privilege – who gets to access care?

One of the things we're first presented with when it comes to Mithrun is that he is intensely capable at handling dungeons. Yeah, there's the immediately visible prosthetic eye and the navigation issues, but the Canaries are built up as being incredibly dangerous and skilled, and he's their captain; they all immediately defer to him. He's intense, he curbstomps an entire room of guards, he's efficient, he's brutal, he's strong physically and magically.

In short: yeah, he's very disabled. He's also still very useful.

At the risk of oversimplification, even within his particular disability, he's much more disabled than Marcille is (she lost something relatively simple and easy to miss, she has no catatonia-moment) but less disabled than Thistle, who seems to still have at least one desire related to the king but is still primarily catatonic. It seems like Thistle is not unusual among ex-dungeon lords, even if there's enough noncatatonic dungeon lords to form a support group later. When Milsiril finds Mithrun, she immediately intends to mercy-kill him – this seems to be a condition the elves are familiar with but consider terminal, at least to the degree Mithrun is affected, and people seem unfamiliar what it means to keep living in this state because Mithrun is unusual in that he survives at all. And he's “allowed” to survive initially because he's not as disabled as he could have been (still has a desire) and that desire is useful. They aim him at the dungeons and off he goes. It takes twenty years for him to recover enough to do it, sure, but they're elves. They can wait. He can still be useful.

Relatedly, when he loses the ability to pursue his desire he's immediately much worse off than he was previously.

The no-desire catatonia is something that can recur and the elves continue to not know how to handle it. If Kabru wasn't there to problemsolve I think he'd have just… stayed there with his increasingly distressed squad.

Speaking of his squad, there's also a fascinating power dynamic going on with just the inherent structure of the Canaries; criminals are assigned as his caregivers. There's the inherent unfairness to the criminal Canaries about them being given extra duties, this strange rich noble guy who's now their Responsibility. There's so much possibility for resentment in normal caregiving relationships, much less being forced by your jailor into caregiving someone. But there's also an element of the power the prisoner Canaries now have over him and his most basic ADLs and needs. Assigning Cithis to his care is such a can of worms! The dynamics of the situation are frankly awful for both of them; of course she resents him initially. It would be strange for her not to. When Pattadol catches her making Mithrun do embarrassing things, she instantly reminds Cithis of her lower-status – she's forced to care for this nobleman and then forcibly reminded that she's beneath him.

She's responding to having menial, low-status tasks forced on her by trying to humiliate him, and although he doesn't have the ability to care enough to stop her it's still a deliberate removal of dignity. He's the instrument with which she is punished and she punishes him in return (until it's not fun anymore and she understands him a bit more.)

Mithrun is a long-lived race, who has structural power over the shorter lived races simply because of how long they live. The dwarves and elves try to actively keep certain knowledge from other races, restricting their access to technology, and other expressions of distance. Senshi spends nearly the whole first season not listening to Chilchuck trying to explain that he's an adult and treating him like a child, and Kabru repeatedly says that the elves do the same thing (and tbh we see them doing it). There's even the fact that it took him twenty years to recover enough to join the Canaries again; a shorter-lived race might have died from old age in this time, or become too old to work in this capacity, and then wasted away without the drive to return to the dungeons. But they're elves; the other elves can afford to wait, and he's not going to age out of dungeoneering any time soon. Being an elf probably contributes to his wealth in the same way skin color contributes to wealth inequality in the real world.

Dungeon Meshi doesn't really go into race in the sense of skin color much, and Kui is writing from a different cultural standpoint than I am. While tallmen are quite accurate when it comes to skin/hair color (yes, even Kabru and his blue eyes; it's rare but possible) and cultural references, the elves, uh, absolutely are not, both in the sense of “dark skin & pale hair and eyes trope” and sense of the royals having jet black skin.

Still, I feel like race is so connected to care and caregiving in the real-world west that I would be profoundly remiss not to mention it. Skin color might not matter to elves in the racism sense, but it matters to humans and humans are the ones writing and analyzing this story. (And I fully expect as the fandom grows with anime-onlies people will like Mithrun more because he's white (has white features) than they would if he had darker skin, because fandom is also baseline racist.)

I don't think we can just not mention that Mithrun is pale-skinned and both Cithis and Kabru, his primary caregivers over the story, both have dark skin.

Racism means white people are more likely to get good medical care, the type you need to get diagnosed and prescribed caregiving. Racism means wealth distribution is uneven, favoring white people. Race affects immigrants taking on undesirable jobs like caregiving for low pay. Racism is a profound stressor which means it contributes to who becomes disabled in the first place in that it can worsen health outcomes.

Similarly to race, gender may not be very obvious when it comes to this subplot within the story but the gendered dynamics of caregiving in the real world are something I do want to touch on. There's an oft-cited statistic about how men are much more likely than women to divorce their partners when their partners are diagnosed with a serious condition; I don't like relying too much on those sorts of statistics because they can be so misleading but it does gesture at something very real, culturally. Even if men aren't supposed to be caretaken, women are supposed to be the caretakers. Certainly, it's not Mithrun's fault that he can't cook and can't do laundry and probably can't do most housework, but I do also think about all the posts passed around about “my boyfriend who won't do housework.”

Again, none of these privileges make him less disabled and less in need of and deserving of care, they're just worth talking about when we talk about caregiving in general.

It's Rotten Work, Even If It's You

People expect disabled people receiving care to be grateful, to accept anything, and to try and make it easier for the caregiver if they're able. Requiring care is an incredibly disadvantaged position, even as actually receiving it can be so tangled up in privilege. Caregiving is tremendously difficult work, it's true, but there's a particular vibe people want from disabled people – all those movies about not wanting to be seen as a burden. Never complaining. Being grateful.

And, uh, well…

Mithrun basically accepts anything his caregivers do, but he's not grateful at all! I appreciate that in a disability portrayal. He'll also lie to and ignore his caregivers, which is Annoying but is definitely an expression of autonomy even if he's probably not doing it specifically to express his autonomy. He's not going to thank you. He's not going to make it easy. He'll accept a lot of things considered “undignified,” and he's not mean or unpleasant in the sense that he's taking advantage or anything, but he's certainly not a model patient.

He's running off back into the dungeons just when you think you've finally gotten him somewhere safe.

There's always a strange tension in caregiving, I've found. It is incredibly intimate but a lot of it is done by total strangers. A number of caregiving tasks are viewed by the wider world as entitled but placing those tasks in the hands of strangers is a remarkably tough place to be in. As a disabled person, I've had to accept my bowel movements being discussed with my parents’ friends, all sorts of being physically moved places not against my will but without my permission, even my pubic hair being shaved off by a stranger (nurse) while I was unable to speak or move. When people are feeding you, making sure you use the toilet, rubbing your feet to make you sleep, helping you with hygiene – people are working so hard to help you. Are you supposed to just accept them doing whatever they want to you?

There's also a dynamic where people will say they don't mind caring for you, they're happy to do it, and then as the years go by and you continue to need care the resentment just builds up. Caregiving is hard work. It's often thankless. The goodness of people’s hearts can run dry, when it's been twenty years and you still can't bathe yourself.

Aaand I need to continue in reblogs, because I'm out of space for images. Please hold. edit: you can find part 2 here

[gatheringbones]

[“Poverty is embarrassing, shame inducing. Misery (misère), the French sociologist Eugène Buret once remarked, “is poverty felt morally.”

You feel it in the degradation rituals of the welfare office, where you are made to wait half a day for a ten-minute appointment with a caseworker who seems annoyed you showed up. You feel it when you go home to an apartment with cracked windows and cupboards full of cockroaches, an infestation the landlord blames on you. You feel it in how effortlessly poor people are omitted from movies and television shows and popular music and children’s books, erasures reminding you of your own irrelevance to wider society. You may begin to believe, in the quieter moments, the lies told about you. You avoid public places—parks, beaches, shopping districts, sporting arenas—knowing they weren’t built for you.

Poverty might consume your life, but it’s rarely embraced as an identity. It’s more socially acceptable today to disclose a mental illness than to tell someone you’re broke. When politicians propose antipoverty legislation, they say it will help “the middle class.” When social movement organizers mobilize for higher wages or housing justice, they announce that they are fighting on behalf of “working people” or “families” or “tenants” or “the many.” When the poor take to the streets, it’s usually not under the banner of poverty. There is no flag for poor rights, after all.

Poverty is diminished life and personhood. It changes how you think and prevents you from realizing your full potential. It shrinks the mental energy you can dedicate to decisions, forcing you to focus on the latest stressor—an overdue gas bill, a lost job—at the expense of everything else. When someone is shot dead, the children who live on that block perform much worse on cognitive tests in the days following the murder. The violence captures their minds. Time passes, and the effect fades until someone else is dropped.

Poverty can cause anyone to make decisions that look ill-advised and even downright stupid to those of us unbothered by scarcity. Have you ever sat in a hospital waiting room, watching the clock and praying for good news? You are there, locked on the present emergency, next to which all other concerns and responsibilities feel (and are) trivial. That experience is something like living in poverty. Behavioral scientists Sendhil Mullainathan and Eldar Shafir call this “the bandwidth tax.” “Being poor,” they write, “reduces a person’s cognitive capacity more than going a full night without sleep.” When we are preoccupied by poverty, “we have less mind to give to the rest of life.” Poverty does not just deprive people of security and comfort; it siphons off their brainpower, too.”]

matthew desmond, from poverty: by america, 2023

[thecoachingdirectory]

Are you aware that quality rest fuels your cognitive abilities, enhances focus, and boosts creativity? As a corporate wellness coach, Carolyn Apostolou likes to encourage her clients to look at sleep as an investment in their professional success and overall well-being. Here are some valuable tips she shares to optimize your sleep and elevate your professional game. Check this out!

[torturedreid]

As Time Runs Out

-------------------------------

wc: 3312

warnings: angst, grieving

--------------------------------

The hum of fluorescent lights and the rhythmic scratching of Spencer’s pen on paper were the only noises in the bullpen. It was late– so late that most of the team had already gone home- but Spencer had a habit of lingering long after the office had cleared. But tonight he wasn’t alone.

You sat across from him, leaning back in your chair with a half-empty coffee mug in hand. Your presence was a comfort, self-effacing. You weren’t working, not really. You had finished your reports hours ago but stayed anyway, telling him that you still had more to do. He knew you were lying, you’d always hovered over him, worried about him constantly.

“Statistically speaking, sleep deprivation has been linked to a significant decrease in cognitive performance,” Reid said without looking up from his file. His voice was matter-of-fact but you could hear the slight smile in it.

“Is that targeted at me?” You laugh softly.

His pen stilled for a second, and he looked up, his expression sheepish. “Both of us, I suppose.”

You take a sip of your coffee, watching him with quiet amusement, “Well, you’re the genius. I’ll take your word for it.”

He paused again, then brushed a piece of his grown-out hair behind his ear. “Actually, it's not so much taking my word for it as it is taking the word of the empirical data behind the studies. For example, one study conducted by the University of California showed that even one night of no sleep dampens neural responses to decision outcomes, affecting both positive and negative emotional reactions…”

As he spoke, his words picked up speed, his enthusiasm growing with each word. You didn’t interrupt, you never did. Instead, you leaned forward, resting your chin in your hand, your eyes locked onto him. There was no impatience in your eyes, no feigned interest. You were truly listening, and it made Spencer’s heart ache in a way he couldn’t quite place. Anyone else would’ve sighed or rolled their eyes by now, but not you. You’re different.

“I'm rambling again, aren’t I?” He said, abruptly cutting himself off. His cheeks flushed as he looked back down at the file he was filling in, fidgeting with the corner of it. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be,” you say firmly. “I like hearing the Spencer Reid fun fact of the day.”

Spencer’s eyes glanced up to meet yours, searching for any sign of insincerity but he found none. Your gaze was steady, your body language open and warm. Your words were simple, they shouldn’t affect him in any way, but to him, it felt like sunlight breaking through the darkness.

For a moment, the silence between you felt less like an absence and more like a presence- of something under the surface, something shared.

The moment passed long ago, but it lingered in Reid’s mind well after you’d finally announced you were going home.

“You should try to rest too,” you say, pausing by his desk. “Even geniuses need to reset.”

He nodded but made no move to grab his things. You gave him a knowing look but didn’t press further. Instead, you reached out and mussed his hair.

“Goodnight, Spence.”

He watched as you left, your footsteps echoing and fading into the distance. When the bullpen was silent again, he leaned back in his chair and stared at where you’d just been sitting, the warmth of your presence still remaining. He wanted to say something, to tell you how much your kindness meant to him- how much you meant to him. Yet the words seemed trapped in his throat, so instead he buried himself in his work, pretending the pit in his stomach wasn’t there at all.

One slow afternoon in the bullpen, the kind of day where the hands on the clock seem to drag painfully slowly from one hour to the next, all of the case reports had been filed and, for the first time in forever, the team wasn’t buried under an avalanche of paperwork. You were sat on the edge of Reid’s desk, a bag of mini cookies in hand, while he shuffled through a stack of books he’d signed out from the library.

“You’re really going to read all of these?” you asked, looking at the titles. “Who willingly reads a textbook on astrophysics? Let alone enjoy Victorian poetry and…philosophy? You need better hobbies.”

Reid snuck a glance at you, letting his hair fall over his face to hide his embarrassed blush, “I like variety. It keeps me engaged.”

“Engaged or distracted?” you teased, tossing a tiny cookie at his head.

He huffed out a laugh, a small shy expression that made your heart flutter unexpectedly. “Engaged. Distracted is usually when I delve into cases, actually.”

You watched as he arranged the books into neat piles, assumedly into the order he intended to read them. “You know, you could probably teach classes on any of these subjects, with an eidetic memory like yours people would line up to hear you talk.”

He froze for an almost imperceptively small second before resuming his organization. “I doubt that,” he whispered.

“Why?”

“I’m not exactly an interesting person. I tend to ramble and get off-topic. Most people don’t have the time nor patience for that.”

“I would,” you said softly, popping another cookie into your mouth.

The words hung in the air around Spencer, simple yet far-reaching. The way you said it was like it was the most obvious thing in the world as if he were someone worth listening to.

The rest of the afternoon passed in the same slow rhythm as earlier, yet he was completely enthralled by you. You stayed at his desk, swapping quiet jokes and sharing stories from your respective lives. At one point you’d reached over to grab a book from his stack, your fingers briefly brushing his. The contact was accidental, but the jolt it sent through Reid’s chest left his heart pounding violently. 

He didn’t say anything as usual when you’d made him feel like this. He watched as you flipped through the pages of the book, your brow furrowed at the scientific phrases that you didn’t understand.

That moment made him realize what it was he’d been shielding himself from all along, he loved you, with every inch of his being.

Over the next few weeks, your friendship with Reid deepened in ways neither of you could have ever predicted. The two of you fell into a routine– late-night conversations, shared smiles over paperwork, and little jokes that broke through the chaos of work. Spencer was still Spencer, obviously– awkward and brilliant, long jumbled sentences– but you never made him feel like he was a burden. And that meant everything to him.

One evening, after a particularly taxing day in the field, you found yourselves sitting on the steps outside of the BAU. The sky was marbled in hues of oranges and pinks as the sun started to drop below the horizon.

“What are you thinking about?” you asked, turning to look at him. His face was cast in the golden hour light, framing his features perfectly.

“Oh, um…nothing important,” he replied, his voice faltering.

You raised an eyebrow. “Reid, you of all people are always thinking.”

He let out a soft breathy laugh, lowering his head. “True.” He hesitated, tapping his fingers against his knee. “I was just thinking about how nice this is…just talking with you, here, watching the sunset.”

“It is nice, I love spending time with you.”

His chest tightened at your words, a feeling of longing settling into his bones. He glimpsed at you, the corners of his mouth tugging up a little. “Most people find me insufferable.”

“Well, I don’t.” You respond immediately, never one to let Spencer feel sorry for himself. His heart skipped a beat. He wanted to say it– how the way you treat him anchors him when everything feels so haywire. But instead, he sat there, letting the quiet between you fill the space where his unspoken words should have been.

“Someday you’re going to realize you’re so much more than you give yourself credit for.” You said quietly like you honestly believed it. He turned to look at you, his eyes questioning.

“You’re not just a brain, Spencer. You’re not just the boy genius. You’re thoughtful and funny and there’s so much more to you than what's on the surface.” You nudge his shoulder playfully, smiling. “You’re a good person, better than most. I hope you know that. I hope you come to see yourself how I do.”

He swallowed hard, his throat tightening. He wanted to believe you, but he couldn’t. All he’d ever been was the smart one. No one bothered asking him how he was, they only ever wanted his input in their own problems, and he never said no. He always had to live up to their expectations, telling himself it was the price to pay for being gifted. Yet you were always the beaming sun in his inner shadows, every morning you’d ask about his night, letting him prattle on about whatever book he’d read or documentary he’d stayed up watching. Still, hearing those words from you– someone he’d come to care about more than he wanted to admit– meant more to him than you could possibly know.

“Thank you,” he murmured.

“Anytime, smart-ass,” you replied with a grin. 

Reid smiled back, the moment etching itself into his memory like a photograph. He didn’t know if you saw him the same way he saw you– as someone who made the world brighter by just being in it– but for now, it was just enough to sit beside you, letting the weight of his unavowed feelings rest in his chest.

It was only two weeks later when everything fell apart.

You’d become a constant in Spencer’s life. His apartment felt less isolating when you were there, filling the space with companionship. Sometimes you’d swap stories– small anecdotes from your lives before you’d met, while he offered obscure facts that only he could find fascinating in response. Other times you’d sit in a comfortable silence, his tranquility only broken by the words he’d not gotten the courage to say yet.

But as Reid knew better than most, life had a way of turning constants into memories.

Hotch had called the team into the conference room, and immediately the air felt fraught with tension. His voice cut through the room like a blade as he announced the news. An accident. Senseless, unexpected. You’d been in the wrong place at the wrong time, and now you were dead.

Spencer’s mind went blank as he struggled to register the words. The rest of the team reacted– gasps, questions, even stunned cries– but Reid stayed frozen in place, his gaze locked onto the chair you’d been sat in only a few days prior. He didn’t remember standing up or leaving the room but the next thing he knew, he was in the serenity of the BAU library, leaning against a bookcase as his legs buckled.

You were gone.

The world became empty.

The days after your death blurred together in a haze of denial and grief. He found himself replaying every memory he had of you, he remembered the way you laughed at his awkward unfunny jokes, the encouragement you’d always given him when he doubted himself, even when you’d tell the other members of the team to be quiet when they’d tried to hush his info-dumping.

What haunted him most though; was the last moments you’d shared. It was nothing special, just a passing conversation as the night had come to an end.

“Take care of yourself, Spence,” you’d said, your voice slick with tiredness yet somehow still light.

“You too,” he’d replied, distracted by the files on his desk that he now wished he’d ignored.

He hadn’t even looked up.

Now the memory echoed in his mind like a cruel reminder of everything he’d never said. He tortured himself with every tiny thing he could– no– should have told you, and all of the ways he should have shown you how much you meant to him.

The regret was unendurable. He’d shut down. No longer did he ramble about facts and theories, he’d stopped sharing his thoughts with the team. He withdrew into himself, leaving the office as fast as he could at the end of his shift, he couldn’t face staying later than absolutely necessary without you, knowing that every night for the past few months you’d both been in your own little world at his desk. Meals became yet another afterthought, and sleep was a luxury he didn’t allow himself.

But you can’t hide from a team of profilers, and inevitably the team noticed. Morgan tried to pull him out of it with his trademark jokes and teasing. JJ offered a shoulder to cry on, leaving coffee cups on his desk every morning in an attempt to get him to notice she was there. Even Hotch, with his usual mask of stoicism, had pulled him aside one afternoon to try to get him to attend a session with the BAU-assigned therapist. But none of the attempts prevailed. In his mind, he didn't think he deserved comfort, not after he’d failed to be there for you when you’d needed it most. Not when he’d let this happen to you.

It was a week after your funeral when he’d be forced to face his feelings head-on.

He’d been sorting through the backlog of files on his desk when he’d come across a post-it underneath some obscure Theoretical Physics book, and he’d immediately recognized your handwriting. His breath caught in his throat and the tears he’d been holding back all day came racing to the surface, his hands were trembling as he peeled it off of the desk. At first, the words blurred together, his eyes swimming with the unshed tears but as he blinked them away, your voice seemed to come alive in the words you’d written:

Spence, you don’t always say how you feel, but I see you. You care more deeply than anyone I’ve met. Stop hiding yourself. You’re more than enough– exactly as you are.

Lots of love.

He felt silly as he clutched the Post-it to his chest, but his worries were pushed aside as a choked sob escaped his lips. The weight of your permanent absence hit him like a tsunami, overwhelming and inescapable. But somewhere beneath the grief, there was something else– something warm and bittersweet.

You had seen him. Seen him better than anyone ever had. Even when he couldn’t find the words, you’d seen how he’d felt. While he’d never have the chance to say it aloud, he now had a piece of you– even in the minuscule form of your writing– the words a reminder of the connection you’d shared.

For the first time since the news was broken, Reid allowed himself to cry. Not just for the loss of you, but for the love he’d never been brave enough to express.

It was late, the kind of late where even the most dedicated agents had gone home. Reid remained at his desk, the first night he’d stayed behind since the last time with you. His hands picked at the corners of the post-it, which he now carried with him whenever he needed a reminder that, even though you were gone, your warmth still stayed. The words you’d written were etched into his mind, looping endlessly: You’re more than enough– exactly as you are. 

He had barely put the note down since he found it. The paper was now worn at the edges, crumpled from his tight grip. The world beyond his desk felt distant. All he could hear was the laughs you’d shared at this very spot, the same laugh that cut through his darkest days, now replaced with an unbearable silence.

Footsteps broke the stillness, the heavy yet purposeful gait meant Reid didn’t even need to look up. He already knew who it was. 

“Hey, kid,” Morgan's voice flooded the room cautiously. He approached slowly, almost like he was afraid of startling Spencer. Noting how his shoulders were slumped, his hair disheveled, and how his hands traced over the writing on the note like it was the only thing grounding him. “You’ve been here all night.”

It didn’t feel right to Spencer that Morgan was taking up the space by his desk that was almost exclusively reserved for you. His eyes fixed on the paper in his hands as though he could will you back into existence if he just focused hard enough. Morgan pulled up a chair, sitting down without another word, his expression solemn but patient.

Finally, after a long silence, Reid spoke, “I thought I had more time.” Morgan frowned, waiting for Spencer to expand upon his brief confession.

Reid swallowed, his throat tight as the words flowed out of him in a broken rush. “I thought I could tell her someday, I thought there’d be another chance, but there never will be. She died without knowing…”

He trailed off as his voice cracked, he gritted his teeth, lip trembling as he fought against every part of him that was screaming to fall apart.

“Reid,” Morgan said gently, “What didn’t you say?”

��Everything.” He whispered in response, “That she was the best thing that happened to me in years. That when she was around I felt alive. I feel like I can’t breathe now…I was just so afraid to say anything.”

Morgan reached out, resting a firm but reassuring hand on his shoulder. “Listen, kid. I’ve been around you two enough to know this– she knew. Okay? She didn’t need you to say it out loud to know the truth.”

Reid sighed and shook his head, his eyes glistening. “But what if she didn’t? What if she thought she was just another person to me? What if she didn’t know how much I cared?”

Morgan’s grip on Spencer’s shoulder tightens slightly, trying to pull him back to the present instead of the dark place he was spiraling to. “Reid, the way you looked at her, the way you talked to her…anyone with eyes could see how much she meant to you. And knowing her? She saw it too. I promise you, she knew.”

That was the breaking point. Reid let out a shuddering breath as the dam inside of him burst. Grief-ridden tears came in a torrent, the sobs wracking his body until his throat was raw. Nothing could fill the void you’d left behind.

Morgan didn’t say anything more for a while. He simply pulled Reid into a steady embrace. Reid clung to him desperately, his sobs muffled by Morgan’s shoulder. It was the kind of grief that words couldn’t soothe, the kind that could only be withstood through time. For the first time since you’d been taken from Spencer, he allowed himself to feel the full depth of his sorrow, and the guilt that came with it. Morgan’s hold reminded him that he wasn’t alone.

Eventually, Spencer pulled back, wiping at his tear-stained face with the sleeve of his sweater. He briefly glanced at the worn Post-it, he didn’t need to read the words, he already knew them by heart. Morgan offered a final encouraging smile before leaving him alone in the bullpen, knowing he needed time to process. The ache in Reid’s chest was still there, sharp and unrelenting but Morgan’s words played heavily: She knew.

In the solitude of the now-empty room, Reid closed his eyes, his fingers stroking the edges of the paper, “I hope you knew,” he murmured, hoping that wherever you were you’d hear him. “I loved you. I hope you knew.”

The silence that followed seemed lighter than anything had within the past few weeks.