#THIS IS KIND OF RUSHED SINCE I TRIED TO GET MYSELF TO WRITE IT BUT OH TO HAVE A LIBRARY DATE WITH JISUNGIE 😭😭😭😭😭😭

[redlinespeedster]

A FAMILIAR TOUCH !! ☆

lando norris 𝒙 best friend fem!reader

[summary] You like taking risks, you crave danger, yet he is your everyday routine… and somehow, that excites you too. You’d been friends for so long that his touch on your skin feels like a familiar whisper: his hands steady on your shoulders, his fingers slowly tracing your hips. You can recognize the warmth of his body from a distance. But when he finally slips between your legs for the first time, all that familiarity shatters into a rush of new sensations — an intense, addictive pleasure you never expected to feel with him.

[warnings] Smut !! car sex, oral sex & fingering (fem receiving), dirty talk. Spanish is my first language, and I usually write all my fics in Spanish first, then translate them myself with a lot of effort. Sorry if anything sounds off or if there are mistakes. (2.5k)

[notes] Just writing this ‘cause I know deep down Lando would be the kind of friend like “you’re my best friend… but I’d totally wreck you if I got the chance” 🙃

He wasn’t in love with you, or anything like that.

Or maybe he was? He wasn’t entirely sure. All he knew was that he’d wanted you pretty much since the day you met in school. Even back when his preteen brain couldn’t fully grasp what desire or attraction even meant.

He didn’t know if it was your personality, how kind you were to everyone, the sun-kissed blush on your cheeks, or just how pretty you were—but he wanted to be close to you. And maybe that alone was enough to make you inseparable. Best friends. Almost like siblings? No, that was something your mom said once, and it made Lando’s stomach turn with disgust.

What truly mattered was that it wasn’t until his desire began to awaken that he realized what he actually felt for you. Intense fantasies and lust-filled dreams ambushed him at all hours, and you were in every single one of them—whether you were riding him in desperation or lying beneath his body, utterly surrendered. The position or place didn’t matter; what drove him mad was having you there, so vivid in his mind, pushing him to the edge even in the moments he tried hardest to stay composed… especially when you walked around in that summer pajama that barely covered the essentials.

You didn’t even try to make it easier for him. You’d sit on his lap, brushing up against him without realizing it, as if he weren’t a man, as if he couldn’t feel every one of your movements or sense what they were stirring inside him. For years, you never understood why he had to distance himself from you—you thought maybe you were crossing a line, taking advantage of his trust. But as you got older, you remembered it clearly and finally understood.

Still, you never spoke of it again.

It had never crossed your mind that he might be attracted to you—not even after everything that had happened. Sure, you’d noticed that constant need he had to hug you, to cuddle you, to run his fingers through your hair. You also remembered the times he’d move you off his lap because he was getting hard and his pants were too tight—but you figured it was just a natural physical reaction. Maybe his body just responded to the slightest touch, because in adolescence it’s common to get aroused from something as simple as a bit of contact. You were a complete idiot for not realizing what was really going on.

Because as you grow older, things become clearer—and the sexual tension between you becomes unbearable. To the point where neither of you really knows what you’re feeling… or how to define it.

Lando can’t stop imagining himself inside you, losing himself between your legs. And you’ve started to crave his touch—the one that used to be just warm and friendly—hoping he lingers longer, hoping his hands start to explore you with more intent and desire.

But despite it all, the two of you keep pretending in front of the world that you’re just best friends, both convinced that you’ll never be anything more than that.

That discomfort resurfaces every time you’re alone with him again. Even now—coming back from a party you didn’t want to go to and he didn’t want to leave, but did anyway, just because you asked him to. His hands grip the steering wheel so tightly you can tell even without looking at him, because your eyes are lost in the car window.

He looks at you like he’s undressing you with his eyes, shamelessly, staring especially at the part of your thighs you left exposed. You feel that gaze—heavy, filthy—and a chill runs down your spine. Because you know he thinks you don’t notice. Like you’re naive. And that’s what pisses you off the most: that he’s such a coward. That he doesn’t have the guts to look you in the eye and admit he’s dying to fuck you.

You squeeze your thighs together just because you know he notices. You do it slowly, deliberately, like a silent challenge. What used to be an awkward tension between teenagers is now a game you play to perfection. You can almost hear him clench his jaw, feel his whole body tighten. And the best—or the worst—part is, he knows you’re doing it on purpose. To provoke him. To drive him insane.

His eyes don’t leave the road, determined not to get distracted—though the temptation you represent is nearly unbearable. He tries to convince himself that the sexual thoughts consuming him now are just a consequence of the alcohol he had earlier at the party. But he knows that’s not true. Those burning, forbidden desires have always been there, every time he’s with you. And not even alcohol can justify all these years of obsessive fantasies, of the deep urge to hold you in his arms.

“Aren’t you gonna say something?”

But Lando pretends not to understand. He thinks you’re talking about the party you just left, or about the fact that he’s driving at a snail’s pace after a few too many drinks.

But it’s clear that’s not what you mean.

“What d’you want me to say?” he asks. The car stops across the street, and he lets go of the wheel to focus all his attention on you.

The tension between you is almost unbearable.

You stare at him intently, and he notices a different sparkle in your eyes, something he had never seen before, almost as if it were new. He doesn’t know how to describe it because he was never used to you looking at him that way. It’s a gaze full of desire, intense and almost tangible, as if you longed to have him so close that you wanted to move until you were sitting on his lap, in the driver’s seat, invading his space and his skin.

His pupils dilate. Only he can decide when to kiss you, how to do it, and how much he’s going to leave you trembling afterward. Maybe that’s why his hand grips the back of your neck tightly, forcing you to lean in until his lips crash against yours with fierce need. The kiss is anything but gentle: it’s intense, clumsy, desperate. He bites you, licks you, invades your mouth as if it were his own. As if he had been holding back for years, when in reality it was only half a lifetime.

No one had kissed you like that before. No one had made you feel that a kiss could leave you breathless, without pride, without control. He kisses you as if he wanted to mark you, break you, tear your soul out with his tongue. As if with that kiss he could devour you alive and still be hungry.

You want to move toward his seat, but he’s the one who lunges at you, pinning you against the closed car window. His body presses against yours urgently, and your hands clutch his jacket, squeezing it hard to pull him even closer. He kisses you hungrily, as if what’s making him drunk isn’t the drinks he had but the taste of your mouth, your tongue, your hot saliva mixing with his.

His hands roam over your clothes with a slow touch that gives you goosebumps, as if he wants to memorize every curve through the feeling. He kisses you with desire while his fingers explore the sequins on your dress, stopping intentionally at your neckline. There, he strokes firmly and precisely, and for a moment, you feel your breath catch, as if his touch could ignite you from within.

Your heart pounds hard, almost painfully fast. Every brush of his hands against your skin sends a shiver down your spine, and the heat pooling low in your belly becomes an urgent need. You’re so wet you can feel it clearly, soaking through the fabric between your thighs. Lando notices—he drinks in the sight with his eyes. Without hesitation, he pushes your dress up to your waist, leaving you exposed to him. A desire-filled smile spreads across his face as his fingers trace the edge of your underwear slowly, as if he’s trying to memorize every detail before taking it off.

“Look at you…” he murmurs, voice rough. “So fucking wet for me.”

And then he lowers his head, dead set on tasting you.

His lips press against your pussy, still covered by your clothes, licking and kissing with an intensity that seeps through the fabric. His hands grip your thighs firmly, forcing you to open up for him, exposing you, wanting you vulnerable beneath his mouth. You feel him move right where you need him the most, his tongue tracing slow, teasing circles, but everything is still filtered by the fabric, and it’s driving you insane. You want him with nothing in between—raw, skin to skin—but he just smiles against you, savoring the power of making you beg without a single word.

“Why are you so fucking desperate, baby?” he whispers. “You want my tongue to ruin you? Drive you insane?” He lifts his head slightly, and his eyes burn with a lust that mirrors your own, igniting the fire between you.

You nod desperately, and Lando leans back down until his warm breath grazes your underwear again. The fabric slides to the side with a single movement of his fingers—not taking it off, just shifting it enough. Your legs tremble on either side of his head, open, exposed. Then his tongue begins to slowly glide over your pussy, tracing soft, deliberate lines—so slow it feels like sweet torture. Each stroke pulls a muffled moan from your lips, while he clings to your thighs like he has no intention of letting you go.

And then, when he hears you moan with a broken voice, writhing beneath his tongue and begging for more, he sinks between your legs with an almost feral devotion. He sucks you, licks you, devours you like the world ends there—like your body is the only drug capable of making him lose control. His tongue moves with precise rhythm, soaking in you, savoring every part of your sex, stopping to suck your clit until you’re trembling. He doesn’t let up: he spreads you open with his fingers, explores you, takes you to the edge again and again. Your back arches uncontrollably, your moans fill the car, your legs shake and your fingers tangle in his hair while your hips move on their own—seeking more, demanding more. You’re completely his, undone with pleasure, lost between his mouth and your gasps.

“Lando… fuck,” you whimper through sobs, voice trembling and your body utterly given to him. You’re so on edge that every touch, every thrust of his fingers, pulls you closer to the brink. You feel them pushing in and out of you with a steady, deep rhythm, then curling inside, rubbing that spot with a precision that makes your back arch and his name fall from your lips like a prayer. The heat between your legs is unbearable, and every move he makes leaves you wetter, more desperate, more his.

He hadn’t realized just how long he’d craved having you like this—completely surrendered. It didn’t matter if it was in the car, his place, or your bedroom. He had only dreamed of seeing you like this: breathless with every lick, moaning with pleasure while his eyes glazed over with desire—never stopping, tracing every inch of you with his tongue until you were trembling, soaked, and drained of all strength.

He could spend hours between your legs, but he knows you won’t last much longer. Not like this—not with his tongue plunging deep inside you, exploring every spot with shameless hunger. There’s no resisting it. He feels the way you shudder and twist beneath him, right on the edge, seconds away from coming all over his face. His grip tightens around your thighs, ready to take the heat of your complete surrender.

“Bet you fuckin’ love my tongue inside you, huh? Didn’t even stop to think this shit might be wrong—that maybe we shouldn’t be doing this.”

You feel his eyes locked on you, unblinking, as his fingers drive into you without mercy, going deep until you can’t take anymore—until the pleasure overwhelms you and you have no choice but to give in.

His smile is wicked, not a trace of guilt in sight, fully enjoying the mess you’ve become under him. He loves how you let go, how you lose your mind with every touch, whether it’s his fingers or his tongue in control.

“You’re a fuckin’ mess—all wrecked and humiliated, you know that? Yeah, you fuckin’ know it. And you love every second of it.”

His fingers thrust into you with a steady, deep rhythm, until pleasure overwhelms you and your vision goes blurry. You gasp, breath ragged, back arched against the seat, heart pounding. It’s too much. More than you thought you could take. More than anyone had ever made you feel.

You can’t understand how something so spontaneous —fifteen minutes in a car, half-drunk, on an empty road— could make you lose control like that. It’s beyond any previous experience, beyond anything you ever expected sex to be.

And it’s with Lando. Your best friend.

Even thinking about it feels unreal… but the heat between your thighs and the trembling in your body are far too real to ignore.

“Hey, you good?” It’s the first thing he asks.

But you can’t even speak clearly; your body is still trembling from the orgasm, from the shiver that ran through you and hasn’t completely faded. It felt fucking amazing… and at the same time, something inside you twists, because you both know exactly what just happened, even if you didn’t technically have sex. It was just foreplay, sure—but it felt like something more.

His fingers—the same ones that were buried deep inside you just minutes ago—still glisten with the wet trace of your pleasure. His mouth, the one that devoured you like he was addicted to your taste, is still marked with your desire. Your legs are shaking uncontrollably, like your body has completely surrendered, and you’re not sure you’ll be able to stand up anytime soon.

You’re satisfied. Not completely full… but deliciously sated. Though you know you’d need much more from him—more of his body, more of his strength—to feel truly complete.

You nod with a faint smile, and barely manage to whisper, “Yeah.”

Lando tries to put his clothes back in place with slow, almost distracted movements, because his eyes never stop watching you. His hands keep roaming over you, but no longer with the urgency from before. Now he caresses you calmly, with a softness that feels almost reverent. And in that touch, you recognize something familiar, something your body hasn’t forgotten. Because he has touched you like this before, and the way he does it still lingers on your skin like a living memory.

“I don’t want this to end,” you whisper, your voice barely audible as he lets his fingers gently sink into your sweat-damp hair. “I want you to keep touching me like you did today…”

He doesn’t answer with words, only nods with a slight smile, heavy with desire.

And you know he will. That he will touch you again with that same devotion every time you let him, until your body belongs to him by memory.

[slutofpsh]

strip for me.

part eight | psh.

pairings: hyungline x reader

synopsis: hyungline got you trapped in a situation that you can’t get away from.

wc: 8.8k

warnings: smut, minors dni, sunghoon being mean, degrading, raw sex (please use protection), dirty talks, curses, masturbation, slapping, choking. slightly rough sex. this is not proof read. (read at your own risk)

note: LAST PART OF STRIP FOR ME. it took a while. i was taking a break to give time for myself and to refresh my writing skills. i hope you guys are doing well and waited for this part. i’m sorry if i kept you waiting. anyway, first post in 2025! send me asks. reblog and reply (nice) comments. let me know what you feel about this one.

slutofpsh 2025 © all rights reserved.

“I still can’t believe that Sunghoon gets to have her for the whole day.” Jake sounded pissed as he placed yet another golf ball at its position. He stood back up then glanced at his two best pals.

Heeseung is sat down while waiting for his turn. Jay’s eyes watches him get into position.

“Can’t you just shut your mouth and take your shot quietly?” Jay scoffed right at him. It was obvious that he’s so done hearing all these repetitive rants from his friend.

Jake raises his hand to flick him off before taking his shot. He poured all of his emotions into it causing the poor ball to fly so far.

A few golfing assistant claps at his wonderful performance, but it seems like Jake’s still annoyed about something.

Heeseung pats his shoulder before placing a brand new ball for his turn.

“Give it up, dude. You know its the least we can do for him.” he mumbled. His adams apple bobs as he tried so hard to mask the small jealousy that igniting insideffy. He’s better than this.

“Its unfair.” Jake continued complaining.

Jay sighed heavily, “Then if Sunghoon suggests we fuck off since he likes her first, what will you do?” he raised his eyebrow at his friend.

Jake pursed his lips, jaw clenches hard.

“Now you stopped talking, huh?” Jay scoffed before walking to replace Heeseung to his place since its his turn now.

Heeseung lets out a strained sigh and claps his friend’s shoulder. Jake remains silent.

“I know it may sound unfair, but Sunghoon’s kind enough to share her with us. After all, he’s the first one to like her. Don’t forget that.” and with that, Heeseung walks closer to his golf cart. An assistant rushes her way near him to help him.

On the other hand, Sunghoon pries his eyes open and waits patiently for you to come out from your house. He’s been here for more than thirty minutes and you just informed him that you’ll be down soon.

He’s resting over his big bike, hands inside his pockets. The weather is so nice today and he’s excited to spend the whole day with you. But a part of him is worried. He stayed late last night to calm himself down and not lose his shit for today.

“Hoonie!” his lips instantly stretched into a smile when he saw you walk outside your house.

Wearing some shorts and a t-shirt. The smile on your face is so bright that sent instant relief towards Sunghoon. He’s excited for the day, but also very worried of what’s the outcome gonna be.

“Hey, beautiful.” he softly mumbles and pulls you into a tight embrace once you’re close enough.

He kisses your forehead gently then rests his on yours, staring right into your eyes. It tugs something in your heart, making your chest ache in a good way.

“You’re early!” you chimed.

“Yes, I am. I don’t want you waiting.” he smirks.

“Where are we going today?”

He pulls away while still holding your hand, thumb pressing to your palm. It was warm and it felt so good.

“You’ll see.” and he raises his free hand to hang some of the hairstands to your ear.

His eyes racks down on your outfit and his lips pursed into a faint pout. It made you look down on your clothes in wonder of what seems to be wrong about it.

“You need jacket. We’ll be riding my bike so the wind will be crazy.” he stated that answered your confusion.

Even before you can offer to go back inside and get one, he took off his leather jacket revealing his white sando inside. You went silent, admiring his broad shoulder and toned muscle in front of you.

He smirks while helping you wear it. He made sure you’re all warm up.

“Warm enough?”

You nodded cutely and Sunghoon chuckles sexily while trying to sink in the image of you wearing his jacket. It was obvious that it wasn’t yours. The jacket is so big that your hands disappears from the inside of the long sleeves.

“You need a helmet too.” and he walks towards the bike to get the helmet he bought just for you. It was cute and the color is your favorite.

You jumped cutely and it made Sunghoon’s heart thump, grinning widely. You’re attempting to hold the helmet so you can check it closer, but Sunghoon kept one of his hand holding it just to make sure you won’t accidentally let of it.

“Sunghoon? Is that you?” both of your heads swings over to the left and instantly stood straight when he saw your Mother walking out of the house.

“Mrs. (surname)” he greets and bows his head.

Your Mom smiled warmly as she walks towards the two of you. She couldn’t remember the last time she had seen you together like this. But she surely remember it vividly how both of you are so young back then, and now you both grew up.

She can’t help but to feel a little emotional by the thought that despite all the things that happened, you two still managed to find way back to each other.

When she’s close enough, she stretches her hand to caress Sunghoon’s face gently. The boy grew up very handsome just how she expected.

It isn’t the first time he had seen him. He remembers him from the other day, with the other boys. She was hesitating at first to go and ask if he’s indeed the same boy you’re friends with. But now that she heard you perfectly calling him by his name, she’s sure of it.

While all of it was happening, you couldn’t help but to look back at your Mom and Sunghoon. A big question plays inside your head.

“Do you know him, Mom?” you asked.

They both look at your way then look at each other. Silently, they both agreed that it isn’t a good idea to bring up the past. Despite a lot of good memories you built with Sunghoon, the pain from that trauma will also give a big impact on you.

“A-Ah, yes darling. His Mom and I are good friends back then.” she smiles at you.

Your eyes grew, “Really?! How come you didn’t meet up?”

Sunghoon walks closer to you with a smile, “Because we didn’t know that you guys moved in this town.”

You nodded, trying to piece up everything together. Sunghoon rest his big hands at your back and caress it gently to send comfort. It didn’t slip off from your Mom’s eyes and instantly, she felt comfort. Like she’s now sure that you’ll be all right.

“Anyway, I should leave you guys since I have a meeting in five minutes.” she changed the topic then walked towards you to cup your face.

“Have fun, okay?”

You smiled and nodded. Her eyed diverted towards Sunghoon. “Take care of her, Sunghoon.”

He nods, “I will.” and your Mom was well assured by those two words.

Once she’s back inside you looked at Sunghoon with keen eyes. “Why didn’t you mention that our Moms are friends?”

He took a step closer then helped you wear your helmet. He smiled, “I was finding the right timing.”

You pout, but decided to let it pass since its been kind of messy before.

He rides his bike effortlessly and helped you hop on behind him. It was the first time you ever ride something like this and its fascinating but also a bit frightening for you. When its just Sunghoon, he made it look easy riding it. Its not.

He chuckles, noticing how tense you are behind him. He grabbed both of your hand and make it wrap around his body, making your chest press over his broad back and feeling his abs beneath his sando.

“Just hold on to me tight, love.” he mumbles and even craned his neck slightly to check on you.

You nodded and he smiled before wearing his own helmet. Your cheeks flushed after feeling his muscles flexing with his every movement. After making sure he’s all set as well, he grabbed your thighs and squeezed it like as if a signal that he’s start driving already.

When he opens the engine, a familiar roaring sound emerges. Even with the helmet, you can still hear it. He started droving off and the wind blew hard towards you. Once he reved hardly causing the bike to speed up, you almost let out a squeal.

It was so much fun, but also nervewracking. The thrill feeling it gave you just makes your blood pumping so hard. No wonder Sunghoon loves this kind of vehicle. This fits him so much.

When he started to add more speed, you couldn’t help but to squeal and giggle. Sunghoon tilts his head and rests one of his hand on your thigh, caressing it. Only one of his hand is in control.

“Hoon! Focus on the road!” you shouted, slightly panicking.

He glances on the road then glances back at you, “What?” he asks a bit muffled due to the helmet.

“I said focus on the road! Both hand on the bike!”

He chuckles and bit his lower lip because of how adorable you sound. The way your arms wrapped tighter around his body is making him giddy inside.

He gave your thighs one more squeeze before removing it to follow your request. It made you relieved and rests your body on his back on more relaxed way.

It took a few minutes until you arrived at their house. This will be the first time you will be coming here. Your head perks up, trying to admire the big elegant gates that surrounds the mansion.

It was fully secured and even before his bike near the big gates, it opened automatically. He drove inside and the driveway is so wide. There’s even a fountain at the middle.

Once his bike was perfectly parked, you kept looking around to check the whole vicinity. You failed to even notice the house workers rushing to greet their newly arrived young master.

Sunghoon made sure you’re stable enough to hold yourself while he get off the bike. He took off his helmet and you watch as he shakes his head to arrange his slightly messed hair. He looked smoking hot.

His eyes stares right at you, ignoring everybody else around. He smirks then settles his helmet on his bike to unhook yours. Your eyes looks cautious once its out in the open. You can now perfectly see the numerous eyes watching the two of you and its making you feel a bit awkward.

Sunghoon saw your reaction and couldn’t help himself but to place a kiss on your cheeks. You looked adorable. You’re still awkwardly staring at their maids while he gently fix your hair that slightly got messy.

“S-Should I say Hi? What should I do, Hoon?” you whispered nervously.

He chuckles and leaned again to give you another kiss, this one a little harder because you’re too adorable.

“Nah, its fine.” he assures you.

“But they’re staring.”

He smiles, “Probably wondering whose this pretty girl I’m with.”

Your pout got deeper, cheeks turning more red because of him. He snorted and carried you off his bike. He helped you take off his leather jacket before holding your hand to pull you inside.

The maids bows their heads when he’s walking pass by making it more awkward. You feel like you need to do something as well. It feels wrong to let them bow without returning the favor. It doesn’t seem like that for Hoon, tho. Its like he’s already used to these things.

“A-Are we going to hang out here?” you ask, trying to divert your attention away from the surprising scene back there.

You roam your eyes around while still holding onto Sunghoon’s hand and letting him drag you towards somewhere.

“Nope.” he said making the popping sound at the ‘p’.

“Then why did we go here?” when you guys made it at the second floor, he walked towards the right and by the end is his room.

He opens the room and you couldn’t help but to feel nervous with a hint of excitement. Even if you didn’t want to, your mind instantly plays a lot of scenarios that can happen.

Sunghoon smirks seeing your blushing cheeks and flustered expression.

“Calm down, pretty. We ain’t doing anything here.” he assures you while leaning close to you from the back. His lips grazing over your ears, hot breath fanning.

“O-Okay...”

“Disappointed?” he asked teasingly. You furrowed your brows trying to hide it, but guilty is plastered all over your face.

“No!”

He chuckles and kisses your neck before walking inside his room, leaving you standing by the door.

“Don’t worry, we have all day.” and he winks before going straight to another door which you assume to be his walk-in-closet.

“Come inside, love. Don’t be shy.” he shouts and that make you take further steps.

His whole room is designed in a simple yet manly way. Minimal colored furnitures that are pleasing in the eyes. Everything is pretty organized for a guy like Sunghoon. Well, you didn’t expect him to be this neat.

You walk towards a few picture frames after noticing them. One of them is a family picture. His Mom and Dad together with Sunghoon and his sister. You’ve never seen her before. She’s very pretty.

Beside that frame is a picture of Sunghoon with the boys. He’s in the middle and it seems like it was taken during one of his birthdays. Heeseung’s smiling widely with a piece sign pose. Jake’s arm wrapped around Sunghoon’s shoulder while he have the biggest grin on his face. Jay is smiling beside them with the same pose as Heeseung.

You can’t help but to smile at how precious they are. Your eyes wanders off and notice one picture frame from the far left corner of the room. It cannot be noticed right away, like as of it was purposely placed there so it can have its privacy.

When you’re about to walk towards it, Sunghoon went out from the walk-in-closet. A big bag on his hand and a bunch of paper bags on the other one.

“Find anything interesting?” he asks.

“The four of you really grew up together, huh?”

He smirks, “Can you tell how sick I am from Jake’s tantrums?” he jokes that made you chuckle. They always love teasing him.

You rest your one hand over his chest and playfully glare at him. “Stop teasing him too much. You know he’s just like that.”

He snorted and laid the paperbags down at his king-sized bed. “Yeah, whatever.”

Your eyes darted over the paperbags. Just by the color and the brands, its mostly for women. He watch your reaction and smile carefully, admiring how cute you are.

“I got these for you.” he mumbles as he hugs you from behind and rest his chin on your shoulder.

“Why so many?”

He inhaled your scent that he’s grown addicted to. “Because you deserve it.” and he placed a kiss on your cheeks.

“Thank you so much, Hoonie.” you said sweetly.

“You’re welcome, love.” he kissed your neck once before he asks you to sit down his bed so you can check everything out.

“Such cute dresses!” you exclaimed and even took out a few so you can see it properly.

Its sundresses that definitely fits you well. Just the way you like it. You glance at Sunghoon and he’s smiling.

“Yeah, it will look good on you.”

“Where are we going anyway?”

“Secret.” he bopped your nose once before asking you to change quickly.

You nodded and went inside his walk-in-closet after picking the dress you wanted to wear first. Sunghoon said he would pack the rest just in case you want to go change. He’s so thoughtful.

“Damn.” he cursed the moment you went outside.

Your cheeks blushed hardly due to the hot stares he’s giving you right now. The dress is on, but the way he’s eyeing you makes you feel so naked in front of him. It was almost like he’s stripping you inside his mind!

“H-How does it look?”

He struts closer to you and reached for your hand before dropping a kiss on top of it.

“Can you turn around for me, love?” he whispered oh so gently that it sent direct shivers to your spine. Its the way his voice sounded so low.

You giggled to try and mask the pounding of your heart and did as he told. While still holding your hand, he turns you around.

“Perfect...” he said with a small smile. “You look perfect.”

His intense gaze remains for a while before you decided to lean towards him to connect your aching lips with his. Its too much. The emotions, his stares, his warm touch— you just need to feel his kisses.

He returns your kisses right away, kissing you hungrily and hardly. It made you feel how much he wanted you as much as you want him. Both of your hearts heartbeats synchronized as he hold you close to him. Your arms wrapped around his neck to deepen the kiss.

He was biting your lips and sliding his tongue inside your mouth to get a good taste of you. He groans as you moan softly, he squeezed your hips as a signal and you jumped to wrap your legs on his body. He held you for support as he sat down the bed to continue kissing you, devouring you.

“H-Hoon,” you moaned his name and his brows furrowed hardly before moving away. He even gave your lips one last chaste kiss before looking at your eyes.

“Later, pretty.” he said that made you slightly frustrated. You can feel the space between your thighs dripping wet and you want him inside you right now.

He rest his forehead on yours and smiles, “I promise to make it up to you later, okay?” he tries assuring you when he saw the slight upset look on your face.

You pout and left with no choice, but to agree with him. He fixes your hair and guided you back to your feet. He grabbed the bag containing both of your things.

The two of you went downstairs and you saw the maids once again. It made you awkward, but you smiled brightly at them and tried waving.

“We’re not taking your bike?” you asked confused when you noticed that he’s guiding you inside a sports car you’ve never seen before. He never used this at school.

“No.” he answered casually and placed the bag at the compartment before opening the door for you.

“Then why not take this car at the first place?”

He smiles and rests his hand on your lower back, “Because I remember you mentioning how you want to try to ride that bike.”

Your eyes turned softly at what he said. As far as you remember, you’ve only said it once and he managed to remember that. You tip-toed and placed a kiss on his lovely lips.

“Thank you so much, Hoonie.”

“Anything for you.” he kissed your temple before letting you go inside first.

“We’re riding that?!” you exclaimed and even hopped continuously while looking over this yacht.

He chuckled and nodded, “Yes.”

“Really?! I’ve never been in one!” and you stared with so much amusement towards the fancy yacht.

There are people trying to get it ready after your arrival. They greeted the two of you with enthusiasm and helped you get on it. Sunghoon’s hand are assisting you so you wouldn’t fall as the yacht are a little unstable due to the waves.

“Careful.” he mumbles sweetly and once he’s sure you’re safe aboard, he stepped in with no sweat. Obvious that this isn’t his first time.

“Wow!” it looked so fancy. It has one room and an overview deck that is perfect.

Sunghoon talked to the people and you watch how one by one they started to leave the yacht. You glanced at him with confusion.

“Are we going alone?”

“Yes.” he answered and even fold his white polo.

“Can you drive it?” the question doesn’t sound like as if you don’t trust him behind the wheels, but more of an amusement that he can manoeuvre one. Is there something he cannot do?

He smirks, “Yeah. Me and the boys usually go out to fish whenever we’re bored.”

“So you’re taking your yacht?” and you even held onto the railings because its still moving a bit because of the waves.

“We take our own yachts, love. We race on the ocean too.” he smiled cockily that made you rolled your eyes.

He chuckles and pulls you closer to kiss you on the lips. You forgot how these boys are born rich and on another level.

“Anyway, let me show you around before we sail.” he grabbed your hand then gently intertwined your fingers before guiding you inside.

The whole yacht is pretty. After roaming around, he asked you to come up to him as he’ll start driving towards the ocean already. He even handed you a summer hat. No wonder he gave you a pair of black two piece to wear under this sundress.

“Woah.” you exclaimed amazed when he started driving. He glanced at you and chuckled at how amazed you are.

Actually, since he’ll be the last one to take you out on a date. He was a little worried that one of them would have the idea on taking you on a trip on a yacht. Thankfully, none of them did and he proceeded on his plan.

“Wow! The water is so clean here!” you even ran down the stairs so you can look over the front railings.

“Be careful, pretty.” Sunghoon reminded while looking at your direction, wearing a sunglasses.

“Do you think there’s shark here?” you asked worried.

Sunghoon can’t suppress the smile spreading across his handsome face. How come you’re so adorable while asking these innocent questions to fill your curiosity? He really can’t with you. He feel like he will lose his mind.

Once he’s satisfied enough of your location, and by that it means you’re in the middle of ocean, far from any land you can set your eyes to.

The water’s so clean and the breeze ain’t that bad too. Its such a perfect weather to come here and you can’t stop giggling to yourself while watching the crystal clear water beneath.

You failed to notice how Sunghoon sets the anchor and grabbed the mat to place it on the middle. He glanced at you and you’re now wearing your bikini. His eyes dangerously racking from your head down to your body.

He licks his lips and walked closer. You glanced behind you when a shadow looms and you smiled brightly at your boyfriend.

“Its so beautiful here.”

He smiles, “I think you’re prettier.”

Even before you can master a reaction, he reached for your arm and helped you get up. Your eyes stares right at his and mouth gapped open, unable to say a word because of how handsome he is.

“Come here.” he then guided you to the mat and your eyes looked thrilled of what’s about to unfold.

“Lay down for me.” and you obliged to his request.

You’ve gone silent because of excitement and every cell in your body is getting hyped up.

“I want to taste you.” he says and hand racks from caressing your cheeks, down to your neck, chest and tummy. He just ran his hand on your skin, very gentle. Taking all his time.

He pressed his palm on your stomach and made you lay on your back. He leans in and placed a chaste kiss on your lips, then on your stomach before pulling away to get a full view of your bikini.

“It looks so well on you...” he compliments and even stick his finger on the waist band, dangerously playing with it.

He lifts his eyes trying to check for your reaction and he smirks seeing how your eyes looked so desperate for him... for his touch.

“But I think they need to be stripped off of you.” his fingers pressed on your skin. They felt so hot, burning.

You gulped slowly feeling like as if you’re being lifted in the air.

“Do you want me to take it off of you, pretty?” his voice soft, a bit teasing. Obviously teasing.

You nodded, a bit eager making his smirk grew wider. He loves it whenever you’re like this. He pulls his hand away then towards the knot on the hips. Slowly, he pulls the string to untangle it.

You bit your lips in anticipation, but unconsciously roam your eyes around.

“Here? Outside?” you nervously mumbled, also feeling a bit excited about it. “B-But what if people see us?”

“We’re so far from any land, love.” and he caress your legs to ease you a bit. A smirk still plays through his sexy lips, “And besides the fishes can use some entertainment.” he joked.

You glared at him playfully that made him chuckle as he kisses your knees. “Just kidding. Relax, okay? We’re safe here.”

Eventually, you did relaxed by his touch and his assuring eyes.

“I’m going to eat you now.” he warned and it was almost like a torture for you.

A nod is all you answer to him. Your mind was already blank. All you can think of is how you want to feel his lips on your core, his tongue deep inside you.

He placed a kiss on your inner thighs before diving in. A gasp left your mouth the moment his lips touched your core. It was warm and slightly wet. He started lapping in a slow, torturous pace. Like as if enjoying taking his time making out with your pussy.

“H-Hoon!” you called his name out like he was not there, between your legs.

His fingers digged on your skin as he looks at your over his eyes. He enjoyed the view of your pleasured face, but he’s enjoying eating you even more. He can taste your sweetness all over his mouth and he couldn’t get enough of it.

“Ugh!” and your hand reaches for his soft hair when he started to eat you more aggressively.

You felt like you’re up in the sky, mind blank and like as if nothing else mattered for you. You couldn’t even worry about the chance of people seeing the two of you anymore. Just your orgasm coming your way. Sunghoon is really making you dumb using his tongue.

Your back arches when you’re almost there. Sunghoon knew you’re close so he tried reaching the depth of your pussy using his hot tongue. His lips completely attached on your clit adding to the pleasure you are having.

Sunghoon’s finger tightens on your skin making you whimper. His eyes flutters open to scan you and even before you can reach for his hand to hold it, his grip loosen. Your brows furrowed in confusion for his behavior but it was all thrown away once his his thumb rubs on your clit for added pleasure.

You are losing your mind. He’s so good with it. Knowing what feels good and what can make you completely insane for him.

“Sunghoon!” you screamed and eyes rolled at the back of your head before your release the first anticipated orgasm of the day.

You felt his lips stretched in a grin as he lapped your juice shamelessly. While still at trance riding your high, you carded your hair then looked at him again.

He moved away from your now pulsating pussy and you can see the look of lust on his eyes.

“Here,” he mumbled shortly. Without a warning, he kisses you on the lips passing you some of your own juices. It caught you slightly off-guard, doesn’t really know how to describe such new taste.

He have the biggest smirk after he succeeded making you taste your own orgasm. He looked proud even if you looked even closer.

“Now you know why we go crazy for you.”

You don’t know if you should be thankful that you moved inside the yacht after he fucked you twice outside. It was such a different experience. Clueless if it was because of the thrill of being outside having sex in the open where people can see you, or because Sunghoon looked so hot fucking you. Probably both.

While making out now on top of the bed, both stripped off of every clothes, Sunghoon’s hands were on you. It was so hot for you. The three orgasms you just had was like not enough when you start feeling your core getting wet again.

Sunghoon only managed to cum once. And you can’t help but to feel bothered about it. Not because he only released one time, but because how of how he’s acting a bit strange.

You’ve known Sunghoon. This isn’t the first time you two did this. You’ve seen how he is on bed and its not enough to describe how good he is. He’s usually very dominant and loves to be rough around you. Manhandling you every time.

But the whole two rounds, he was so gentle. It still feel good, yes. Its just you can’t help but to notice how he seemed to be holding himself back. Treating you like some fragile glass that will break if he became rough even in the slightest way.

“Hoon, wait.” you pushed him off, his lips chased you and his eyes looked so drunken in love.

“Hmm?” he hummed, not sure if he’s really in the right mind to listen.

“What’s wrong?” you asked worriedly that made his brows creased in confusion.

“Huh?” he licked his lips then ran his hand on your hair to brush them away from your face. “What do you mean?”

You gulped then search his eyes, staring right at his soul.

“Why are you acting different?” you heaved a sigh. “It seems like your holding yourself back.”

Sunghoon was caught off-guard. He is a bit tensed. This was so unlike him. He’s usually very confident in bed and always gets it the way he wants. He didn’t think that you would notice.

He glanced away and was about to move away, but you captured his face then made him stare back at you.

“Come on...” you gave him an assuring smile. “You can tell me.”

He remained silent for a while before he gave in. He sighed heavily before placing a swift kiss on your hand that was cupping his face.

“I’m j-just scared that I went overboard and scare you.” he explains that slowly shed light on you.

“You said that you don’t like us being aggressive...” his voice lowered, like as if he’s so afraid. “I’m scared to lose you. I don’t want to lose you.” he confessed.

Your heart strings tugs when he said those words to you. You bit your lower lip and smiled at him lovingly before leaning in to give him a kiss on his lips. Slow and very passionate so he can feel how much you adore him.

“Well...” you started after pulling away. “I can give an exemption.” you said staring at his eyes.

His eyes sparkles. “But..”

You shushed him with another kiss then you leaned over his ears to whisper. “It will be our little secret.”

And after you say that, you felt his hold tighten. Sunghoon’s eyes turned darker like something has flipped inside him.

He pushed you on the bed, his hand on your neck. Wrapped like a necklace, just like how you liked it.

“Is this what you want, doll?” he asked in a low husky voice.

Your stomach churns at his words and on the way he looked at you. His jaw hardly clenched while manhandling you effortlessly.

“Y-Yes...” it came out like a desperate moan, driving him insane.

“I was doing you a favor and actually being nice and yet you want this side of me.” he scoffed sexily and tilt his head on the side.

“I didn’t know that you’re so naughty, y/n.” he stated. “Such a horny doll for me, yeah?”

You nodded, feeling your core getting even more aroused and starting to clench around on nothing.

“Words... I need words.” he grunted that made you gasp when he tighten his hand on your neck.

“Y-Yes, Hoon!” you managed to say.

He smirked, “That’s my girl.”

“Now I’m going to fuck you so hard and I don’t want to hear any complains.” he said then started to align his now fully erect member on your hole.

“So wet....” he growled. “So so wet for me.”

He leaned down and rest his nose on your cheeks after one kiss. He didn’t even informed you and just slided his whole length inside making you jolt.

“Ugh!” you moaned with a mixed pain and pleasure.

“Your cunt is choking my big dick, doll. You feel that?” he whispered sensually that almost sent you to heaven.

You shut your eyes tightly because of the immense pleasure he’s currently sending you. He started moving, sliding his dick in and out with no mercy. The slapping sound of your skins echoes all over the whole yacht.

“Fuck...” he cursed and his grip on both of your waist tightens. His fingers pressed hardly on your skin, marking it.

He pulled away while still fucking you senselessly. “Let me suck those tits.” and dives in he goes. He licked, sucked and bit your nipple making you gasp.

Your teeth sunked on your lips tightly trying to suppress the moans coming out from them. But when he started to suck on your skin more aggressively, you’ve lose it. The sensation of his dick going inside in a rough way and him marking you all over was just too much to handle.

“Feels so good!”

He scoffed, “Yeah? It feels so good to get you fucked this way?!” he licked his lips and slapped your breast once that made you yelp.

It felt so good. So good that you’re losing your mind. Your whole body vibrated after you reached your orgasm and Sunghoon smirked because of it. He grabbed you on the jaw and made you looked at him straight to the eyes.

“Your pussy walls felt amazing around me, doll.” he leans and kissed you on the lips. “Nothing can ever beat this feeling. Nobody can ever replace you in my life.” and started rutting his cock even harder.

“Open your mouth.” he commanded as you felt his thrust getting faster and deeper. His dick starts to pulsate inside you, indicating his orgasm to get closer.

You obliged and open your lovely lips for him. For Sunghoon, the man that holds you and your heart on chokehold.

He gathers a generous amount of saliva on his tongue before spitting it straight to you. Then without thinking twice you swallowed them before opening it once again to show it to him.

He looked so proud before he placed his hands on your hips again to fuck you harder. He groans and clenched his jaw harder.

You whimpered, feeling another release on the way.

“I’m fucking close, doll. I’m going to breed you so good and make sure you’ll keep all my sead inside you.” and after a couple of thrust he busted it all inside just like he said.

Both of you moaned together when you finished at the same time. He clasped your lips together and thrust inside you in a slower pace to ride both of your highs. It felt so good, amazing.

Sunghoon collapsed beside you, panting. He catches his breath for a while before he raise on the bed, leaning over his elbow to check on you.

“Was that okay, love?” now, his eyes looked a lot more softer. “Too much?” he sounded worried.

You chuckled and with the remaining strength, you leaned in to give him a kiss on his lips. “You were amazing, Hoon.”

Relief washes all over him before resting his forehead on yours.

“I love you.” your heart swells.

“I love you too.” you respond. He kissed you once on the cheek before pushing himself up to grab a warm wet towel to clean you up.

He refused to make you stand up and asked you to stay completely still. You didn’t tried to argue because your whole body is aching. Now its all kicking up and tiredness is slowly taking over.

He starts cleaning you and you watch him with loving eyes. Your heart felt so full watching him take care of you that way.

“Why do you call me doll? Is it because you get off with the thought that you can use me?” you innocently asked him.

His hand stopped from wiping you off. With furrowed brows he glanced at you.

“No.” he answered right away. “Is that how you interpreted it?”

You shrugged your shoulders off, “I read online that some guys think that way.”

He sighed, “I am calling you doll because you’re very beautiful.”

You smiled. “Really?”

He leaned closer to place a hearty kiss on your lips. “Really.”

You felt giddy inside after that then he resumed cleaning you up. While mind slightly floating, you remembered the same question you’ve asked the three boys.

“Hoon?” you called his attention.

“Yes, my love?”

“When did you start liking me?”

He raised his head so he can look in your eyes.

“When I was five years old.”

- Flashback -

Multiple screams coming from the neighborhood kids surrounded the whole playground as the five year old Park Sunghoon hovers over another boy. He got him pinned on the dusty field, holding his cute little collar and punching him once on the face.

“Who’s the scaredy cat now, huh?” he hissed at the crying boy beneath him.

Nobody dares to interfere at the scene, every kid afraid of him. Park Sunghoon. The eldest son of the richest family in the private subdivision. Almost everyone knows him and his family. How can they not? Their beautiful, gigantic million dollar mansion sure is always the talk of the people.

“Sunghoon! Oh, dear!” someone finally went in between and moves him away on top from the poor kid.

His eyes remains staring at him, glaring if you may describe it accurately. He didn’t care if the other kids are giving him those terrified looks or if the neighbourhood moms are whispering with each other about how awful kid he is.

All he can think of is that he’s mad and that kid surely learned his lesson not to mess with him.

“How many times would I have to tell you not to hurt other kids?!” his Mother’s voice is stressed out as she paced back and fort in front of him.

He’s back home and sat down at the sofa, earning an earful conversation with his Mom. She’s stressed that she has to deal with that boy’s family and his hospital bills. Not that it can hurt their wealth, but sure the rumors will spread around and will be embarrassing. She has no idea what to do with him anymore. He’s uncontrollable.

He remains silent that made her even more frustrated. It was obvious that he fears nobody and that even if she talks nonstop, he doesn’t care.

Ever since the incident, as expected, no one wants to play with him anymore. Whenever he goes at the playground, he’s always accompanied with his bodyguard that can stop if ever things escalates.

He roams his eyes around and the kids avoids his eyes with fear. They’re playing in groups, their usual friends.

He doesn’t care or feel hurt about it. In fact, Sunghoon doesn’t even want to play with them. For him they’re all boring and dumb.

“Hi!” Sunghoon snaps his head over to the side after hearing this sweet voice.

That was the first time Park Sunghoon lay eyes on you. With your cute little dress and hair tied with cute bows. Your eyes doesn’t reflect any fear and you have the brightest smile flashing towards him.

‘Wait... Him?’ Sunghoon, couldn’t help but thought.

“Y/n! What are you doing?!” another little girl went close and grabbed her by the arm.

“I told you not to go near him!” she added and even shoot glares at Sunghoon’s side. But when he looks at her, she quickly turned pale and glances away.

“Why? He’s all alone, Sujin.” you even pout your lips.

The other little girl kept on insisting for you to leave Sunghoon alone and he’s just there, watching all of it unfold in front of him.

“It’s okay, Sujin. Go play with the others! I want to use the swing!” you insisted and even started walking closer to where Sunghoon’s at.

Sujin, your friend, was left with no choice but to leave. She doesn’t want to, but she also doesn’t want to be near Sunghoon.

“Hello!” your voice snaps him back to reality.

He didn’t talk and just looked at you with his intimidating eyes. For someone who is five, Sunghoon sure make kids around his age uncomfortable through his gaze. Maybe because despite the pretty eyes, his brows are too thick making him on the more arrogant looking type. The snob kids. His skin pale as snow and his clothes are all branded, indicating a clear status in life.

“Why are you alone?” you asked.

Sunghoon gulps and tried hard to hide what he’s starting to feel. Never in his life that he felt shy or conscious around anyone. He grew up with so much confidence and yet here he is, palm sweating, eyes a little shakey. He wanted so bad to look away, but your pretty eyes makes it so hard for him.

He kept his snobby face then ignores you completely, jumps off the swing then slowly walks towards somewhere. Your lips pursed into a pout because of his attitude, but it didn’t stop you from following him.

“So do you often go to this playground?” once again a small smile flashing through your pretty face.

Young Sunghoon sighs, a little annoyed. Not just because you’re not leaving him alone, but also because he hates how deep down he’s curious of you. He cannot understand himself. Was it because this is the first time someone was not intimidated by his rotten attitude?

He turns around and met eyes with your bright ones. He’s unfocused. He doesn’t know what’s it about. His young self have no idea that this will be the start of his obsession over you.

It continued that way and even before you can notice it, its been a year. Whenever you see Sunghoon around that playground, you won’t leave him alone. Following him around and asking him continuously despite not receiving any response from him.

Today, Sunghoon visits the playground once again. His eyes roams, unconsciously searching for your familiar pretty face. He wanted to say that he’s relieved that he didn’t saw you, but a big part of him is disappointed that you’re not here. He knew today won’t be as fun.

He walks towards the swing and naturally, the kids around cleared up. They still don’t want to be near him even if the last time he hurt somebody was long ago. Ever since you followed him around, he didn’t cause any trouble again. He was always too preoccupied about you that he clearly forgot about messing with the other kids.

He tries to swing his body while hoping he would see you playing with the few group of kids around. When he realized that you are really not here, he sighs heavily and get off the swing.

He was ready to head back to their family car when a small voice calls him out from a distance.

“Hoon!” that nickname.

He whips his head, in search of you. He saw you right away, jogging— almost running your way towards his direction. Excitement ignites young Sunghoon. He licks his lips and tries hard to keep his deadpan expression.

Once you’re in front of him, you stopped to catch your breath and he waited patiently for you to stabilise your breathing.

“Are you leaving already?” you asked, pouting. You didn’t even try to hide that you want him to stay longer.

Instead of answering you, his eyes racks from your head down to your feet. Its like he’s checking if you’re all right. Then Sunghoon’s brows knitted closer when he noticed something on your skin.

“What happened here?” he asks lowly and hand reaches for your arm.

You looked surprised that he managed to notice that.

“U-Uh, I fell down!” and you even followed it with an awkward laugh.

Sunghoon stares right through your eyes, checking them. It was such an intense gaze from a six year old kid. He knew you were lying, but he decided to ignore it for now.

“Next time, be careful.” he whispered full of concern.

You’re caught off guard. That was the first time you ever saw some other emotions through his face. Ever since that day, you two became inseparable. Sunghoon’s Mom are delighted for his sudden change of behavior. Well, he’s still a troublemaker. But its a lot more tolerable when you’re around.

3rd grade and both of you went to the same school. Of course, he’s still always around you. Almost everyone around the campus and your village knew about the eldest son of the Parks being whipped over you.

“Y/n,” he calls when you started bolting towards the wide field of the school ground. You’re grinning from ear to ear and chuckling.

“I told you to be careful.” he reminds.

Most people notices how Sunghoon acts maturely than his age. Or maybe that’s just how he acts whenever he’s around you. He’s always alert, like as if always ready just incase you needed anything.

“Why should I be worried? You’re here with me.” you sounded so assured and you are. As long as he’s around, you don’t feel any worries or fear. Sunghoon gives you peace of mind and you are his peace.

Sunghoon remained the very same. Protective and caring of you. But something added to it. He started to act possessive around you. If someone gets interested towards you, or even tries to catch your attention, he will go mad.

“I can’t believe you did that to him.” you looked upset while crossing your arms in front of him.

You’re at the ice rink. He’s having his ice hockey practice when he suddenly got into a fight with another one from their team. You remember him. He’s the one who tries to be friends with you last practice.

It pissed the hell out of Ten year old Park Sunghoon. That was the first time he ever invited you to his hockey practice and that happened.

He’s currently sat down at the bench, still on his hockey uniform. Hair’s disheveled after taking off his head gear and he’s resting his elbows on his knees while watching you silently.

“You punched him hard! Did you see his nose?” you added and its just making him more upset. Seeing you this affected by him is making him feel irritated towards that guy even more.

“He deserves it.” he mumbles, but enough for you to hear.

You gazed at him with an hawkeye look on your eyes. “Nobody deserves that!”

He clenches his jaw and lets go of his gloves while he stare up at you. He’s sat down and you’re standing in front of you.

“Why are you even so worried about him? Makes me want to beat him more.” his eyes looked serious and scary.

“What?” you sounded confused then added, “Why are you not worried for him? He’s part of your team.”

He rolls his eyes, “I don’t care about him.”

He stood up making your height difference visible. He took a step closer, making your bodies almost touch each other. You gulped, feeling nervous, heart beating so fast. Lately, you noticed that its always been like that whenever he’s this close to you.

“All I care about is you.” he says while staring down at your eyes. His gaze so intense.

“And I hate it whenever someone’s trying to take away you from me.”

You gulped, cheeks blushing.

“N-Nobody will ever take me away from you, Hoon.” this time, it was your turn to assure him.

You’ve grown attached to him as much as he is with you. And Sunghoon loves whenever you talk like this. Assuring him that you aren’t going anywhere, that you will stay with him.

But life truly is full of surprises. Because the next thing he knew, he was outside the hospital hallway. Your Mom on the side crying, his Mom beside her comforting her.

Sunghoon’s mind was blank while he looks at you from outside the emergency room. His blood went cold, heart being pressed too hardly that he finds it difficult to breath.

He watches how the nurses tries hard to save you from the crash. A car crash. He can’t help but to blame himself. Yes, he’s just Eight. There’s a lot of things that he doesn’t know, a lot of things he still can’t do, a lot of decisions that he regrets.

Due to your close relationship with Sunghoon, he was aware of your parent’s marriage that slowly crashing down. He was with you althrough out of it.

He was there whenever you cry about how they often fight. How your Dad always shouts at your Mom and how he would occasionally hit her.

Sunghoon wants to do something about it. He even informed his parents so they could help, but your Mom refused to file a case to your Dad. They were helpless.

He lets it pass and just made sure you have him and that you’re aware that he isn’t going anywhere. But he couldn’t take it anymore when one day, he saw you with a bruise on your face.

He managed to convince his parents to talk to your Mother about it. Thankfully, she listened this time and file a divorce with him. The case was rolling and Sunghoon’s family were doing their best to help as much as they can.

When it was finalised, your Mom having the custody of you it made your Dad enraged. He took you without her consent and drove away. He was acting crazy, saying that if you two are going to leave him alone, he might as well be dead. And he will take you with him.

That’s why you are here in the hospital, body full of blood and nurses are doing their best to save your life.

Sunghoon rests his hand on the glass that separating you two. He clenched his jaw and eyes brimming with tears. He shuts his eyes and for the first time, he found himself praying. He prayed for your safety and in return he will stay away from you.

He thought it was the end for the two of you. It was so hard to be around you while he felt so guilty about what happened to you. When he learned about you losing most of your memories including those with him, he took that opportunity and asked his parents to move town.

It was heart breaking for young Sunghoon. He knew you are his other half. You belong to him as much as he belongs to you. He lose his spark the moment he moved town. He started becoming the troublemaker that he is before you happened in his life.

Then he met his friends. He started to feel much better. Still longing for you, but better.

He can’t remember the last time he felt his heart drummed. He even forgot how it felt, not until he saw you walking inside the very same classroom five years after. A lot changed in you, but the moment you stepped foot inside he knew right away. His heart reacted like as if a dog seeing its owner after being separated for a long time.

Now that you’re back with him, he can’t mess this up. He lost you once and almost lose you again. He doesn’t think he can afford to go through those therapies again if ever you leave him.

Your eyes were full of tears after hearing it from him. He smiled and held you closer to his warmth, dropping a kiss on your forehead.

“I’m s-sorry I forgot about you.” arms wrapping around him to cry even harder.

You felt so bad about it. Yes, you can still remember how frustrating it was when you woke up one day and can’t remember anything. But for you, it was much harder for Sunghoon. Imagine having someone so special for you but they can’t remember you at all. That’s so heart breaking.

“Shh, its okay love.” he placed another set of feathery kisses on your cheeks. “It ain’t your fault.”

He pulls away to cup your cheeks. His eyes are tearstained as well, but a soft warm smile reflects on it.

“I’m just so glad fate brought you back to me.” and he rests his forehead on yours.

You sniffed and shut your eyes, feeling his presense even more. Letting everything sink to you. Embracing your moment with him.

“And I’m not going anywhere anymore. I love you, Sunghoon.”

He smiled, a tear fell from his eyes.

“I love you.” and he leans in to seal it with a loving, affectionate kiss.

permanent taglist:

@stacey-stonem @tunafishyfishylike @love4hee

taglist:

@shawnyle @baekxo07 @parksunghoonsgf @skzenhalove @shanb1n @kaykay11sworld @starfallia @blank-velvet @nctislifue @avaleyshin @kpopslays @jooniesbears-blog @woofie-nctzen-fanarts @d-dilemma @pinksweetlittlepiano @sweetjaemss @yangwonx1 @jenniepaii @jakeswsh @brii-sunwoos-version @luvsjwonn @arimiu @sleepingisweak @ninalove323 @bluej4ym @kk-kitten @leesura @oceanyocean @holyfestfire @hooniebaekgu @nikiswifiee @shjsnjkj @loumin908 @nikistar @renne-s2 @pinksweetlittlepiano @srhnyx @farashawhee @iilwji @leov3rse @enhajungwonheart @namjooniecuteboy @realrintaro @kkamismom12 @roslayy @m3wkledreamy @a-warners-girl0-0 @cherrykissesu

[bookshelf-dust]

rings and things

billy hargrove x fem!reader

gif by @suledins

word count: 3,786

warnings: 18+, lots of kissing, lots of flirting, sexual comments/conversations, a non-explicit/descriptive sex scene (definitely not full smut), sweating, mentions of neil, swearing, billy and reader are engaged!!

synopsis: it’s safe to say that being engaged to billy—and building a life with him—unlocks a new side of the man you love.

a/n: i kid you not, this is the first fic i’ve been thrilled about in so long! i had fun writing it, was able to immerse myself, got back into billy—the whole lot. the creative juices have been flowing and i’m so glad to have them back. i’m marking this fic as 18+, so please see the warnings above! this story can be seen as a part two to this fic, but they can be read separately too! this is chock full of whipped billy and i hope all you billy lovers enjoy ♥️

————

It’s the time of night where the neighborhood has gone quiet. Not too late, but the silence that has fallen on your street, on your home, says that everyone has settled down. This makes the world seem calmer. Slower.

Billy walks down the hallway, looking in on you. You sit in your shared bed, filing your nails and talking to your best friend on the phone with the handset sandwiched between your cheek and shoulder. In order to accommodate this odd position, your hand is tilted to align with your gaze, leaving you a little sideways. The smallest smile graces his lips and he directs his body toward the bathroom. He doesn’t bother shutting the door. The rushing sound of water drowns out your voice, but he can still hear your loud giggles. In the shower, he turns the heat up as far as it’ll go. He washes his face, works a small knot out of his curls. 

The two of you haven’t been engaged for long, only about a month, but since that day, everything has felt lighter. Less of a chore. Billy doesn’t think he’s ever felt this specific kind of peace before. It’s like when you take a deep breath, and instead of your anxiety remaining at the forefront of your mind, it moves away and your brain goes all quiet. 

When he’s all clean, Billy walks back down the hallway, towel-drying his hair and attempting to make a mental list of the things that still need to be done to the house. He steps around a box full of new curtain rods and film for the bathroom windows. Everything smells like paint and his hand is still bruised from a slip-up replacing the front door. He knows you don’t care if there’s a mess, but he can’t help wanting you to come home to a nice place. He wishes he could blink and everything would be finished. Half the time when he gets off work he doesn’t wanna do anything other than glue himself to your side. 

Susan and Neil divorced in the fall of ‘85. Neil moved back to California, though only after weeks of back-and-forth fighting to try and get Billy to join him. He claimed they could build something great out there, without all this drama, without women on their backs. Neil tried to argue that Indiana wasn’t Billy’s home anyway, and if he stayed, he’d never belong. 

Billy refused, staying with Susan and Max until Susan decided she wanted to move and buy a little land, a house that felt more like a home and not a reminder of the darkness that often thrived under its roof. It was only for a short time, but it was like Billy remembered how to breathe in his own house for a while. They’d banished the demon.

Although Max is in college now, she decided to keep living with her mom because of all the costs of university living. With some negotiating and a few months of renting-but-not-really, Billy took the house off Susan’s hands. Now, it’s yours. Maybe it’s because of the renovations, maybe it’s because of the lack of an abusive father, but Billy is happy here. In Hawkins. It’s not like before, when his heart was pulling him elsewhere, begging him to listen to the pull and leave as fast as he could. In all honesty, he’d probably be happy anywhere if you were there with him.

The house isn’t a complete mess or anything; Max’s room has been repainted and made up for her, the bathrooms have been checked for water damage, your bedroom is alright–though cluttered. Every morning, Billy loves to watch you move room to room, opening each set of blinds because everything deserves some sunlight. Right now though, he’s watching you stare at your ring. The covers are pushed back on the bed, leaving your bare legs exposed. You’re moving your hand back and forth in the lamplight, seeing how the yellow bulb reflects on the stone.

“What’re you doin’?” Billy asks. He throws his wet towel in the hamper and bends, two fingers nudging your chin to the side so he can press a kiss to your cheek. 

Your feet slide across the bed sheets. “Just lookin’.”

Billy laughs through his nose. 

“It’s so pretty. I’d never really thought about what I’d want in a ring, but you figured it out.” You swipe your thumb over the emerald on your ring finger. It’s small, held up by a silver band inlaid with teeny diamonds. It’s perfect, and every time you look at it, you think about how you get to spend the rest of your life with Billy and it makes you teary. You never imagined feeling like this. It’s like pure, romance novel shit. 

“It felt like you,” Billy says. 

He flops down on the bed beside you and drapes an arm over your waist. He pushes your nightshirt up just a little so that he can rub at the plush skin of your stomach. You look at him and smile, pushing a strand of wet hair out of his eyes. 

Billy gently tugs your hand into his line of sight, allowing himself to examine gthe ring on your finger. “Looks good on you,” he says, voice quiet. His thumb moves over the silver, feeling the delicate setting, the smooth surface of the stone. 

“Do you want one?” You blurt.

Your gaze falls on Billy’s face. He’s got so many more freckles on his skin than usual, what from basking in the sun and working outside. His blue eyes lock on yours and you blush. 

Billy’s fingers slip under the waistband of your underwear to rest on your hip bone. “Do I want one what?” 

You clear your throat. Billy smirks at you. 

“An engagement ring? I know it’s not traditional or whatever, but I thought I’d ask.”

His hand slides further under your panties, resting on your ass. “Do you want me to have one? Want everyone to know I’m taken?”

Your breath hitches and Billy’s laughter hits your neck, the smallest puff of air. He’s been able to fluster you like this since you first met; you hope it’ll go on forever. 

“That’s not what I meant,” you say, lighting popping him on the chest. He grabs your hand and brings your fingers to his mouth, pressing them against his lips. “Maybe you could have something simple, to go with the rest of your jewelry. We’re engaged to each other—I never got why only one of us has a ring.” 

Billy moves his hand from your butt and places it underneath your knee, using it to pull your body on top of his. You wind up on his chest, your legs between his, and both his palms come down to playfully smack the skin they’ve just barely left. He makes himself laugh, pleased. You roll your eyes at the realization that he just wanted to watch your ass move.

“All I’m hearin’ is that you want everyone to know I’m taken. Nothing wrong with just sayin’ so, baby.”

You rub your nose across his collarbone and his brows furrow, lips ticking up so he’s making the face he does right before he giggles. He places two fingers under your chin and lifts your gaze, acting stoic.

“You’re an asshole, Billy Hargrove.”

This time he does smile, a real one that might as well light up all of Hawkins, and then he’s rolling the both of you again, settling against you in a way that says time to sleep now. He’s a cuddly sleeper, but it won’t last long because he’s too damn warm and you’ll shove him off. His eyes are shut when he says “And you are annoyingly beautiful,” followed by a whisper of your full name.

————

As usual, you hear Billy come home before you see him. His driving might have gotten less reckless with age, but the volume of his music will never lower. 

Your knees press into a soft, pink gardening cushion, while your hands pat and then smack at a chunk of freshly-turned soil until you’re satisfied. You like to think of it as tucking the plants in. 

The bed you’re currently working on is full of flowers. You’d spent forever at the feed and seed in town talking to the owner, trying to figure out what would be able to survive in your and Billy’s yard. He’d sent you home with a cart full of sprouts and mulch heavy enough that you’re sure you’ll feel it in your thighs tomorrow. 

You wouldn’t say that Billy and you are cheap, but the idea of spending less money buying your produce when you could just pluck it out of your yard was something you both found appealing. It’s worked out even better considering your neighbor has chickens. She trades you eggs for lettuce or fruit, if it’s in season. 

This is where Billy finds you: his old Niagara Falls hat sitting backwards on your head, the cuffs of his too-big sun shirt tucked into your gloves. A large cloud has just covered you in shade. He watches as you lean back and relax for a moment in the reprieve. 

Your skin glistens with sweat and Billy watches as it beads down your throat. You’ve got this tiny pair of shorts on, and when you lean forward he can see the crease where your ass meets your thigh. He wants to plant his mouth there and leave a mark. 

“Hey, sexy.”

“Afternoon, William.”

You don’t look up at him when you speak, your focus solely on the hydrangeas you’re watering. You can feel his gaze on you; it hardens when you choose not to give him your attention. His boots crunch on gravel and then go quiet when he reaches grass.

“The fuck you ignorin’ me for?”

You grin to yourself, knowing he’ll see. You let up on the hose and toss it to the side before throwing yourself at him. You run the few feet to him and wrap your arms around your neck, jumping. He grabs your thighs and lifts you up so you’re looking down at him. His brows knit together and he squeezes the fat of your ass, his grip only a little mean. 

“You think you’re cute, huh?”

“You seem to think I am,” you quip. You bring your hands to his cheeks and lean in to kiss him but he jerks his head away. You frown.

“Take your damn gloves off. Not gonna put those hands on me if I can’t feel ‘em.”

Small chunks of soil flick off your gloves when you pull them off and then toss them over your shoulder, hopefully in the same direction as the garden hose. Then, Billy lets you kiss him. He threads the fingers of one hand through your hair, massaging the base of your scalp. You were going in for a short, sweet kiss, but Billy doesn’t let you separate yourself from him, nipping your lip and taking what he wants from you. He pushes his tongue between your lips and you let out a squeal. 

You pull back, kicking your feet against the back of his thighs so he’ll let you down. “Why are you being so…horny?” 

“Why are you complaining?” he asks, crossing his arms. His lips are flushed a dark red. 

“Because you could’ve said ‘Hey baby, how was your day? You’re doing such a good job out here, workin’ your ass off.’” 

Billy’s lips tick up briefly. “Hey, baby. How was your day? You’ve been doin’ such a good job out here, workin’ that ass off.”

He practically hears you roll your eyes. “Remind me why I said I’d marry you?”

“Because I’m so good in bed.”

“Yeah, I definitely never said that.”

Billy’s brows lift and his mouth opens slightly. “Oh, you didn’t have to say it, sweetheart. You’ve got such a set of lungs on ya,’ I’m pretty sure the whole damn neighborhood knows how good I am to you in the bedroom.”

“Actually, our neighbors aren’t even that close, so they don’t know shit.”

“Aw, you upset about that?”

You spin on your heel and put a few steps between the two of you. You bend over, reaching for the hose. Billy’s palm cracks down on your ass. He’s too distracted to realize what you’re doing until a stream of freezing water hits him in the face. You bite back a smile at his expression; there are water droplets clinging to his eyelashes that he doesn’t bother to blink away.

You know what’s coming. 

You take off around the corner of the house, Billy’s hat flying off of your head. You let out a surprised giggle at the speed at which you’re going. It’s kind of impressive. 

“Are you fucking laughing, you little shit?” Billy’s voice carries through the yard as he chases after you. You know he’s faster, so you start kicking things over to try and slow him down. The empty plastic pot your hydrangeas came in, the watering can. He jumps over everything, though he stumbles when you kick a basketball in his direction, catching himself on his hands. He’s laughing now, too.

You make one more complete lap around the house and are heading towards the mailbox when he finally catches you. He hooks both his arms around your stomach and scoops you up, spinning you around. You yelp, giggling fiercely. He maneuvers you until you’re draped over his shoulder. 

“Billy! Billy, you dick! Put me down!”

He just laughs and takes you around back. He squats, grabs the hose, and shoots water into your face–though not nearly as aggressive as you’d done to him. Once satisfied, he plops you down onto your feet. 

You’re both silent for a moment, staring at one another, waiting to see who’ll make the next move. 

It’s you. 

You get nose to nose with your fiancé and stick your bottom lip out. “That was not nice.” Your hands wrap around his where they’re still gripping the hose and squeeze, directing the stream at his chin. The water shoots up his nose and you howl with laughter. 

Billy wrestles with you, laughs as he tries to get you again, but the water just hits him instead. His hair is dripping all over, hitting you in the face with every jerk of his head. At some point, he gets the hose from you and slips his fingers under your collar, directing water straight down your back. You scream as the cold liquid rushes down your spine.

It’s in that moment that you dart to the far end of the backyard and hold your hands up in front of you. “Okay, you motherfucker! I surrender!”

Billy is cackling. You thought you’d learned all of his laughs–but this one is different. It’s competitive. It’s pure, unbridled joy. It’s teasing. He lets go of the water hose and you watch as he walks to the spigot and shuts it off. When Billy approaches you again, you keep jumping away in these little creeping movements like you’re trying to prepare yourself for another attack. 

Billy’s gaze drags up and down your soaking form. “You look so hot right now,” he says, and he’s on you, wrapping his arms around your thighs and hoisting you up so you're pressed right against where he’s warm and hard. He walks you back inside the house and throws you on the bed.

He traps you underneath the length of his body, pushing your hair out of the way so he can get at your neck. You feel his tongue slide over your skin, feel him licking at you like he might just go ahead and consume you because that’ll be the only way he can get satisfied. He sucks at your pulse point, the motions of his mouth lewd. He’s put you in a trance.

“B-Billy,” you fuss, pulling at his hair. “The bedding’s gonna be a mess.”

He looks at you like you must be joking. 

“The fuck do we have a washing machine for then?”

It’s like he predicts your flash of frustration, grabbing your wrist before you can pop him on the shoulder. He starts kissing up your forearm but then gets up suddenly.

“Where are you going?” you whine. 

“Hush, I’m just getting somethin’.” You pout anyway, watching him sift through clutter on the dresser before coming back to you with the polaroid in hand. Your brows lift in confusion. 

“Literally what are you doing?”

He aligns the lens with his eye, directing it at you. “Just look up at me.” It takes you a moment to comply, but when he reaches down to tickle your side, you give in. He takes your picture and then sets the printed photo down on his side table, going in to kiss you once more. 

“What’d you do that for?”

“You look so beautiful right now. Needed a picture of my gorgeous fuckin’ fiancée.”

“Well that’s not fair. I want one too.”

Billy doesn’t argue, only blindly reaches for the camera again. He hands it to you. He thinks for a moment that he’s falling in love with you all over again just from the way you’re looking at him. You snap the photo. “Angel,” you say. He sets it down for you and rolls the both of you so that you’re on your sides. 

You kiss first this time, sucking Billy’s full bottom lip between your teeth. You feel yourself warming from the inside out. His knee slots between your thighs. You sigh in relief. He swallows the sound. 

You scratch your nails over his scalp, down his back when he pulls his shirt off for you. Your fingers linger in the dip between his shoulder blades. You can’t help but grind down against his knee and he nods. That’s what it’s there for, baby.

You are overcome by him. Feel the need you have your mouth on every inch of his skin. You might explode without it. You grasp the hair at the base of his neck and pull. He moans and bucks into you. You do it again and again and then you move, sucking on his neck, his collarbones, licking up his stomach like he’s the only form of oxygen you need. He watches you, pupils blown wide, chest heaving.

Your mouth is mean. It’s bruising. Every inch of him is touching every inch of you and it’s still not enough. 

You drag your nails down his chest, watching as red lines develop on his skin. You let the pads of your fingers feel everything, memorizing every ridge, scar, mark on his body. An ache has built between your legs, and it hurts so good. You burn for him.

When you’re both stripped bare, Billy notices the lack of your ring. He places gentle hands on your hips, slowing your movements. The feeling of being inside you, but without friction, makes his eyes squeeze shut.

“I took it off to work in the yard,” you say, matter-of-factly. You retrieve it and he takes it from you. Billy slides the ring back onto your finger. 

“Want it on.”

He doesn’t need to say why. His face tells you his reasoning. And so does the way his body moves with yours. 

————

A few weeks later, you come home mid-afternoon. Billy finished repainting the outside of the house over the weekend. He’s screwing the legs back onto the dining table. It had needed to come apart in order to get home from the antique store. 

You smile because his hair is pulled back in a low bun. You smile bigger because it’s held up by one of your pink scrunchies. 

“Hey, Billy baby.”

You lean down to kiss him. He tries to swat you away because there’s a sheen of sweat on his forehead, but you dodge his hand and kiss him anyway. You offer him a hand, which he takes, and then you’re standing eye-to-eye. His gaze drops down momentarily.

“Is that a weird little box in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”

You feel yourself flush. You wedge your fingers inside the small front pocket of your jeans and pull out a little velvet square. “Got you a little somethin’.”

“Does it bite?” Billy asks, taking the gift from you.

“No, but I do, if that’s what you want.”

Billy grins at you and lifts the lid. His heart feels like a battering ram against his ribcage, because he knows what this is, but he’ll be damned if he shows it. Some habits never die, or whatever. 

Inside the box is a simple silver band. When he looks closer though, he sees the engraving in it, and realizes it’s not that simple after all. It’s just understated. It’s a small pattern of vines and leaves, everything swirling together. Billy drags a hand across his nose.

“Where’d you find this?”

“At that shop in town. The one across the street from the library? It’s a mom-and-pop. They said someone had given them a big ‘ol bag of jewelry a couple months back, and that was in there. They had someone look at it, said the engraving was probably a request since they don’t usually come like that.” Billy nods and you keep going. 

“I couldn’t not bring it home. It’s perfect for you. And I know we haven’t really talked about wedding rings, but I figured you could take it for a spin as a we’re-not-married-yet-but-someone-has-to-figure-this-out ring.”

“As an engagement ring, you mean.”

You giggle. “Sure, if you wanna call it that.”

Billy clutches the ring box in his hand and tilts his body forward until his lips collide with yours. His arms come around you and he uses both palms to pat your ass, almost like he’s using you as a bongo drum. Every time you think he’s done kissing you, he kisses you again. His movements are playful, though the look on his face remains serious. He kisses you over and over and over until your lips feel swollen.

“Try it on, please?”

He does as you ask. It’s the tiniest bit big, but it’s not gonna fly off his hand. You can get it sized before you really make things legal. 

“Thank you,” he says, leaning in until his nose is an inch from yours. “I mean it.”

“You’re welcome,” you respond, closing the gap and smooshing your noses together. “I know.” 

Billy looks at the table, still mostly disassembled, and then back at you. His arms are soon behind your back and knees and he’s carrying you to the bedroom to worship his queen.

————

note: none of the gifs or images i use are mine! i get most of my images from pinterest or here, and gifs from about the same. please let me know if i ever don’t credit someone properly!

[jadore-f1]

Don’t make me wait | IH6

Synopsis ♡ Your relationship with Isack is going extremely well and you're ready to take it to the next level. 4.5k words

A/N ♡ can’t believe that after 10 years in fandom culture, i'm posting my very own fanfic. The writing isn't great, the dialogue is eh and the smut is rushed but i WROTE this. I'm so proud of myself.

Warnings ♡ SMUT! 18+ mdni!!! Fem!reader, Strong language, google translated french, oral sex (male receiving), fingering, switch!Isack (sorta), he has a filthy mouth, p in v, protected sex (pls do this!), grammatical errors, this is barely proofread tbh, probably other things idk

You and Isack had been officially dating for just over a month now, though the two of you had been dancing around your feelings for much longer than that. It all started at the preseason “Meet the Grid” dinner. He was the promising new rookie and you, a wide-eyed media intern just trying to stay out of the way and do your job.

You didn’t even speak to him that night. Just watched from across the room, quietly taking in the way he seemed to slot in so easily with the senior drivers. He was charming, warm, and effortlessly magnetic. It was hard to look away. When he eventually caught you staring, his smile shifted, softening into something less media-trained and more… curious. You turned away quickly, heart pounding, trying to mask the flush crawling up your neck and ignore the flutter low in your stomach.

Yeah. You were immediately smitten.

It continued like that for a while, lingering looks across the paddock, stumbling through interview questions because he’d say something that could’ve been considered flirting if you thought about it long enough. (you didn’t though or at least tried not to, no way he would be flirting with you)

For a few weeks things never went any further than that. You figured he was too busy finding his footing as a rookie to even think about dating, and he was convinced you were either completely oblivious to his flirting or just too kind to turn him down outright.

When the Melbourne grand prix incident occured you felt your heart sink for him. You’d fought with yourself the entire day before finally just deciding to bite the bullet and reach out to him on instagram that night.

@youruser: Hi, I’m not sure if you know me but I work in the paddock

@isackhadjar: yes __ hi! we’ve met before, what’s up?

@youruser: I saw what happened today so i just wanted to check in, you know if you need a friend or a place to vent completely unbiased i’m available!

@youruser: …Not saying you don’t have people, just figured an outside perspective might help. Plus, I’m a pretty good listener

@isackhadjar: lol don’t worry i did not take it that way

@isackhadjar: how about coffee tomorrow morning?

@youruser: sure! Does 8:30 work for you?

@isasckhadjar: perfect, it's a date :)

And the rest was history. He'd asked you out officially somewhere in between the Bahrain and Saudi Arabia races and you’d been basically attached at the hip ever since.

Because the relationship is still so new, there are things you're both still discovering about each other. Little details, unspoken boundaries, milestones you haven't quite reached yet.

The most obvious one is the physical side of your relationship. So far, it's been limited to quick good luck kisses before quali or races, and soft, grounding hugs when the weekend doesn’t go his way. That’s it. And you’re okay with that. You're more than happy to follow his pace. You understand how complicated things can get when you're constantly under a microscope, with cameras everywhere and millions of fans analyzing your every move.

But still… as time goes on, it's hard not to want more.

You're willing to wait—of course you are. You’d wait as long as he needed. In the meantime, you make do with your imagination and the handful of photos tucked away in a private folder on your phone. No complaints. No pressure. Just quiet longing, and the hope that when he’s ready, you’ll be right there.

Then Monaco happens.

You’re waiting in his drivers room like you do after every race, drivers get a 10-15 minute break after each race before they have to enter the media pen so you and Isack use this time to catch up in private otherwise you’d have to wait until the end of the day just for a moment alone. He steps into the room and you’re on him the second the door closes.

“P6 Zack! P6 in Monaco! Baby I can't believe you pulled that off!” you say in between little pecks all over his face, he’s still sweaty but you don’t care at all, too hyped up on adrenaline and something else you don’t want to name yet.

“I know! I can hardly believe it either!” He laughs but he sounds exhausted, hell he looks exhausted, face flushed red and the imprint from his earbuds still visible on his cheeks yet the grin never leaves his face.

When you try to step back to give him breathing room he just makes a small sound of disapproval and pulls you closer, hands tightening around your waist until you're pressed fully against the warmth of him. He lays his forehead gently against your own and just takes a deep breath, like he's trying to ground himself in the moment. You stay like that for a minute reveling in the silence because you know any moment now you're going to have to leave and return to the chaotic world outside your bubble. Eventually you pull back a little just to look at him again.

“I'm so so proud of you Isack” you push his sweat slicked hair back from his eyes and hope he can tell how much you mean it. He leans into you again like he can't bear the small distance you've created.

“Merci mon ange” he whispers before pressing a searing kiss to your lips. It's hot, wet and nothing like any of the kisses you've had before.

One of his hands travels from your waist to the back of your neck, fingers tangling into your hair while his thumb rests on the hinge of your jaw moving your head exactly where he wants it.

His tongue presses against the seam of your mouth and you open up immediately—there's no point in denying it, not when you've been dying to kiss him like this. It makes your brain all fuzzy around the edges.

Your hands move to explore as well, one immediately gripping onto his bicep bulging through that skin tight fireproof shirt that has definitely made a few appearances in your dreams. The other lightly scratched at the short hairs on the back of his neck, causing him to shiver and let out a breathy little noise. Fuck. you want to hear that again.

You pull away from his lips and theres a string of saliva still connecting you together, you wipe your thumb against his bottom lip to remove it and he presses a gentle kiss to the pad it, his hand coming to cover yours and he continues to press kisses up, up your arm until he reaches your neck. He nips and licks up and down your neck and until he finds the spot that makes you arch into him, then he bites down.

“Haah- is-isack no fair I can't do the same to you” you manage with a keen.

“Sure you can, just gotta be somewhere discrete bébé” you can practically hear the smirk in his voice.

He sounds so smug you can't help but tease him a bit, moving your leg so it's in between his. you press upwards grazing him with just enough pressure.

“Oh putain” he hisses out, hands tightening on your hips, he thrusts forward seeking out the friction again but you remove your leg before he can get it.

“Ok! Baby i'm sorry just please do something please” he whines out, his hips thrust up again chasing any type of pleasure he can get. He looks so good like this, all desperate just from a bit of teasing.

“Oh poor Isack, you get this hard just from kissing?” you pout at him sarcastically. The power you feel right now is unfathomable, you could get used to this. If only he knew how soaked you are between your thighs.

“Since you did so well today I guess I can't be too mean, what do you want? My mouth or my hands?”

“Your mouth please i-” someone bangs on the door of the trailer and you both jump a mile in the air.

“Hadjar! You're late for post race interviews let's go!” his PR manager yells from outside.

You sigh empathetically. He sighs as well tilting his head back against the door like he can’t believe his luck.

“Can't believe I have to talk about my best race finish with blue balls.” he mutters, adjusting himself so it's not as noticeable. You can't help but giggle. He glares at you with a look that says ‘this isn't over’ and heads out the door.

“We’ll finish this later ok!” you yell after him with another laugh.

Later doesn't come that night (and neither do you) or the rest of that weekend for that matter.

That’s the thing about triple headers. It’s three weeks of non-stop chaos, travel, and work. Between back-to-back races and packed schedules, finding even a single quiet moment alone feels impossible.

The tension from Monaco still lingers though. Looks across the paddock are now charged with something heavy, good luck kisses are a little longer, deeper, hungrier. It feels like you’re a balloon seconds away from bursting.

Things finally settled down after the race in Spain. Isack scored points again, and it was amazing to watch. He was steady, focused, like he was really starting to find his rhythm.

To celebrate, the two of you went out for dinner at a cozy, authentic Spanish restaurant Carlos had personally recommended. The food was incredible, the atmosphere relaxed, and for the first time in weeks, it felt like you could both finally breathe.

Now, back in the quiet of your hotel room, you're winding down for the night, full, content, and maybe just a little bit tipsy on red wine and the heated glances shared over the candlelit table.

Technically it’s Isack’s hotel room, you have your own on another floor with the rest of the media team but what your supervisor doesn’t know won’t hurt them.

You’re freshly showered and in one of his shirts and some boy shorts just scrolling on social media waiting for him to finish up in the bathroom so you guys can cuddle and start a movie.

The bathroom door swings open, and without looking up from your phone you call out

“Zack, I swear if they don’t give you Rookie of the Year, I’m burning the FIA to the ground.”

He laughs, voice warm and easy. “Love the energy, bébé, but then we’d both be out of a job.”

You glance up to respond, but the words catch in your throat.

You’ve seen Isack shirtless before on the occasional social media post—but never like this. He’s standing by the dresser, back to you, rummaging for something, muscles shifting under damp skin. His sweatpants hang low on his hips, clinging just enough to make your mind go blank. His curls are still wet from the shower, starting to dry into that soft, messy wave you adore.

And it hits you.

That’s your boyfriend.

This sweet, ridiculously good-looking, insanely talented man is yours.

How the hell did you get so lucky?

“You’re staring mon ange.” he says softly and you don’t even have it in you to pretend to be embarrassed because now he’s facing you while leaning against the dresser and you can see everything.

Your eyes zero in on the sweatpants again, they’re so low you can see his v-line and the trail of dark hairs leading down beneath the waistband.

You let your eyes trail upwards over the naked skin of his torso, still glistening from the shower practically begging you to lick the droplets of water up yourself.

But honestly it’s the chain around his neck that does you in. It’s shining against his skin and it makes you want to wrap your fingers around it and tug him closer to you like a leash, makes you want to watch it dangle in front of your face, makes want the feel the cool metal pressed against your own heated skin while he poun-

“Ehem” he raises his brows in amusement and your face does heat up this time.

“You just look really good right now” He preens under the compliment, standing straighter and flexing under your gaze.

“Oh? is that why you’re looking at me like you want to eat me?” he steps closer to the bed.

“Amongst other things.” you give a sly smile, scooting towards the edge of the bed.

When he reaches you, you stand up on your knees so you two are face to face. his hands find their place on your waist and yours around the back of his neck. You go to lean in for a kiss but before your lips meet you feel him, solid and warm against your leg.

It’s your turn to raise your brows in amusement now and he scoffs playfully. “I can’t help it, bébé—you’re in my shirt and barely anything else, telling me how much you want me.”

You tilt your head, feigning innocence, though the curve of your mouth betrays you. “I didn’t realize stating facts was such a crime.”

He steps closer, eyes flicking down for the briefest second before settling back on yours, smoldering. “It is when you say them like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like you know exactly what you’re doing.” His voice is low, thick with the weight of restrained desire.

You bite your lip, a slow smile forming. “Maybe I do.”

He lets out a soft, breathy laugh, hands rubbing soft circles on the skin of your waist with maddening ease. “Then don’t start something you’re not ready to finish.”

“I’ve been ready since Monaco,” you murmur, fingernails lightly raking down his chest. “And I always finish what I start.”

He lets out a stuttered gasp—your turn to make him breathless.

You tilt your head up and your lips meet in a passionate kiss, all teeth, tongue and weeks of build up.

Isack kisses you like a drowning man gasping for his first breath of air. It's desperate, consuming. Like he’s trying to burrow his way into your very soul. And you’d let him. You’d let him claw through your ribcage and settle into the space you’ve always kept open just for him.

Your lips part ways and you fall back onto the bed, slowly scooting up toward the headboard. He follows without hesitation, crawling over you until he’s hovering above. For a moment, you both pause, eyes locked. There’s no awkwardness, no uncertainty you might expect from a first time, just a quiet heavy knowing that every heated moment before now has been leading to this.

“__ are you sure?” he asks softly. You want to tell him that you’ve never been more certain about anything in your life. That there's nowhere else you'd rather be than right here, taking in every detail of his face, the way the city lights cast golden shadows across his features. But the words catch in your throat, too full, too much.

So instead, you just nod and reach for that damn chain, pulling him back to you once more.

your lips meet the skin where his jaw and neck connect, nipping and sucking there lightly just enough to leave a faint mark.

“I still owe you from Monaco, yeah?” you breathe into his skin.

“No you don’t have too.” he denies but you just scoff playfully and switch your positions so he’s lying on his back and you're on top, legs straddling his hips.

“Gotta finish what I started.” you grin and peck his lips before making your descent down his body. you pause at his chest tugging one of his nipples between your teeth softly just to hear that pretty little whine again before kissing your way down to the edge of his sweats.

The imprint of him is hard to miss and you can’t help but run your hand over the bulge and squeeze. his body jolts like he’s been electrocuted.

“Oh mon Dieu bébé, s'il te plaît, ne me taquine pas!” you don't know exactly what he's saying but the impatience of his tone gives you a clue. Oh my God baby please don't tease me

“Relax baby, I'm gonna give you what you want.” your fingers curl around the waistband of his sweats and you pause there, looking up into his eyes again with a silent question. He nods supportingly, bottom lip tucked between his teeth and his hips raise towards you. His sweats and boxers come down together.

Holy shit.

He’s not overly large, very proportional to his body but the thickness of him takes you aback. He has the kind of width that you know you'll be feeling for the next couple days. The tip is flushed red dripping in precum, your fingers wrap around the base and start kitten licking at his leaking head.

“mph-oh fuck” he makes a sound like the air has been punched from his lungs and your thighs clench together in response. His head falls back into the pillows. He’s so sensitive it’s driving you insane. Normally giving head is your least favorite part of sex but his reactions have you retracting that mindset.

You open your mouth and fully take him in going as far as you can, using both hands to cover whatever you can’t reach. his hips twitch up subconsciously and you gag.

“Putain, je suis désolé mon ange, feels so good” he rasps out. you just moan in response and the vibrations pull another breathless whine from him. Fuck, i’m sorry angel

you pull off of him with a subtle pop, hands continuing to work him over while you catch your breath.

“Do you want to cum like this Zack?” you ask and receive no reply.

He’s too blissed out, eyes closed, thrusting up into your fists.

you stop moving your hands and he cries out pathetically. his upper body bows towards you and when you meet his glistening eyes you almost feel bad for ripping away his impending orgasm. almost.

“I asked you a question.” it takes him a moment to find his senses and respond.

“I want it to be inside.” His voice is several notches deeper and the darkness in his gaze sets fire to your veins. His hands slide up your thigh, under the edges of your (his) shirt.

“Take this off cherie.” tugging it up with his assistance, you're completely bare with the exception of your little sleep shorts.

“C’mere.” he mutters softly, pulling you up to him again. Your lips connect, softer than your previous kiss but just as passionate. Your upper body presses up against his and the coolness of his chain makes you shiver in delight, giving you goosebumps.

You sigh deeply, body sinking into him further in contentment. He groans in response, hands tightening around your hips as he uses his bodyweight to flip your positions so he's on top. He presses up onto his palms beside your head. His biceps are on display like this and you can't help but lean up and bite one of them.

“Eh? What was that for?” he asks with a shocked laugh. You shrug with absolutely no shame.

“I've always wanted to do that.” he laughs again while you just gaze at him lovingly. When he catches your stare he bites his lip and the soft moment heats up again.

“Can I feel you now, cherie?” he asks softly, you nod and he's tugging off your shorts immediately, tossing them somewhere behind him. When you're completely bare for him he sits back on his haunches with a look of awe. You try to close your legs together under his unwavering stare but his hands grasp your thighs firmly keeping them apart.

“Ange, tu es tellement mouillée que ça dégouline sur les draps.” he says, thumbs rubbing warm circles on the underside of your thighs, it's nice but if he doesn't touch you properly soon you might explode. Angel, you're so wet it’s dripping onto the sheets

“Please Isack don't tease” you whine out. He smirk’s fingers lightly grazing over your center.

“It's no fun being teased, is it bebe?” he grins cheekily, “You had such a mouth on you earlier. Use it and tell me what you want.”

“Fuc- I want you to touch me.”

“I am touching you.” his thumb presses into that bundle of nerves rubbing light circles but you’re too worked up, it’s not enough.

“Ah Zack please!” you cry out grabbing his forearm in an attempt to drag his fingers where you really want them.

“Mmm ne pleure pas bébé, tu sais que je te donnerai toujours ce que tu veux.” his fingers slip into you and your vision whites out. Don’t cry baby, you know i’ll always give you what you want

“Oh shit- yes!” you moan, back arching off the bed, hands gripping the sheets. God his fingers are so nice, thick and callused from years of driving.

“Feels good baby? Putain, tu ne sais pas depuis combien de temps j'ai rêvé de ça.” Isack leans down on the arm not between your legs, brushing the sweaty hair from your eyes and laying his forehead against yours. Fuck, you don’t know how long i've dreamt of this

“Look at me, yeah? Wanna see you fall apart on my fingers.” you want to break away from his intense gaze but the hand grasping your hair keeps you right where he wants you. You’re practically drooling while his fingers abuse that sweet spot inside you.

When you feel yourself getting closer you try to warn him but all that comes out is “a-ah Zack i’m comi-ah!” before your eyes roll back and you claw your hands down his shoulders.

“Yeahhh fuck bébé that’s it.” he works you through your orgasm slowing his fingers down when you stop spasming around him. you feel him placing little kisses on your face and chest while you struggle to catch your breath.

You pull him in for a soft appreciative kiss and he melts into you. He slots himself in between your legs and you feel him warm and sticky against your inner thigh. You look down between your bodies and catch a glimpse of him, rock hard and tip fire engine red from lack of attention.

“You know, tonight was supposed to be about you.” you reach down to stroke him, he lets out a sharp hiss and grabs your hand to pin it beside your head.

“Continue comme ça et cette nuit se terminera tôt pour nous deux, making you feel good makes me feel good too don’t be silly.” he chastises you lightly. Keep it up and this night will end early for us both

Your legs raise higher up to his hips, opening yourself up to him more and he positions himself against your core, sliding between your folds covering his cock in your slickness before stopping at your entrance. He reaches over to the nightstand for his wallet for a condom, quickly tearing the wrapper and rolling it into himself.

“Can you give me one more?” you nod quickly and he grins “That’s my girl” The slow press of him into you has your breath catching in preparation of the thickness of him. He immediately clocks your hesitation and links his hand with yours, little pecks placed onto your lips in hopes of distraction.

“I got you mon ange, relax.” you do as he says letting out a deep sigh and he pushes in slow and steady until he bottoms out completely.

“You’re so pretty like this.” he nuzzles his nose against yours lovingly.

“Isack!” you groan out, hips grinding against his own with need “Oh God please move!”

“I know baby I know- just need a second.” he grits out, whole body shaking in barely contained restraint. He pulls his hips back until just the tip is there and then slides all the way in again. His pace speeds up and you’re losing your mind.

All you can focus on is Isack, the look of him all sweaty, lip between his teeth and his abs flexing as he pumps himself inside you again and again. You can’t even tell him how good he’s making you feel, the only thing coming out of your mouth is little ‘ah-ah-ahs!’ and broken intervals of his name.

Isack seems to be having the opposite effect though, his mouth won’t stop running.

“I’ve wanted you like this for so long, since that fucking dinner party.” The hand not still linked in yours slides down onto your stomach and presses down just below your belly button and you scream.

“Fuuuck yeah bébé” he lifts one of your legs over your shoulder, cock reaching into you so impossibly deep.

“Wanted you so bad in Monaco too, would’ve told my manager to piss off just so I could bend you over that sofa in my drivers room.” he grunts out voice rough from exertion.

“And you’d let me too huh pretty girl, let m-oh fuck let me take you in that tiny room where everyone could hear how good I make you feel.” you clench around him hard at the thought. “mph-yes yes Zack please don’t stop!”

“Mon dieu look at you.” he’s babbling more to himself now, getting closer and closer to his peak. “Comment je suis censé penser à autre chose maintenant ? Je pourrais vivre dans ta chatte.” How am I supposed to think about anything else now? I could live in your pussy

His hips switch into a deep grind, pelvic bone brushing against your clit in a way that has you seeing stars.

Your orgasm hits you so quickly you don’t even have time to think let alone warn him. Your cunt spasming around him pushes him to his climax soon after and he wails out hotly against your throat.

“Holy shit.” he whispers before collapsing on top of you, sweaty and spent. He rolls over to toss the condom in the bin before immediately pulling your back into his chest.

It’s silent for a while, you two just basking in the afterglow before he presses soft kisses onto the back of your shoulders and neck.

“That was worth the wait, no?” you have no idea how he can sound so smug so soon after but you can’t help but agree.

“Of course, just never make me wait that long again.” you joke, turning in his arms to face him. Hands tracing over those beauty marks you love so much.

“We can go again if you want.” he says, wriggling his brows with a cheeky smile.

“Isack!” you laugh pushing his head away.

Ending was shit but thank you sm for reading! hope you enjoyed! 🫶🏾

[ayyy-pee]

hi lexi!! i hope you’re having a lovely day!! sooooo i saw you’re requests are open 👀 i totally loved your kny fics and was wondering if you’d write a little something about giyu and his wife experiencing the ups and downs of pregnancy?

AHHHH HI JESS!!! Thank you for sending in a request! I've been kind of itching to write Demon Slayer again lately so YES YES YES!!!! ABSOLUTELY!!!

Discord 18+ - Twitter - Demon Slayer Masterlist

Pairing: Tomioka Giyuu x Female Reader

Summary: Adjusting to being at home with you all the time is easy. Adjusting to this pregnancy, is not.

A little extra bit to Make It Stick!

“Let me help you.”

“I’ve got it.”

“But, you shouldn’t–”

“I’m pregnant, Giyuu. That doesn’t make me incapable of getting water. Doesn’t mean I cannot do our laundry. Or prepare a meal. Or stand up by myself.”

Giyuu watches as you, his wife, so beautiful and glowing in this stage of your late pregnancy, lean forward as you attempt to stand from your seated position on the floor. It’s unsuccessful, your very round belly limiting your motion. With a deep breath and a strained grunt, you try again. Giyuu struggles not to leap forward. You simply want a glass of water. It really shouldn’t be this difficult. But you’re strong, and he’s learned better than to get in the way of his determined spouse. So he simply stands rooted in his spot as your second attempt to stand turns out to be less successful than the first. And after about the fourth try, you reach for your husband. 

“Okay,” you pant heavily, waving your husband over. “The last one I may need help with.”

He smiles softly, quickly and carefully helping you to stand. 

As the days pass, and peace finally takes root throughout Japan, Giyuu finds himself spending most of his time home with you. There are no demons, no reason for the Hashira to gather unless it’s to simply catch up. And try as he might, Giyuu is not any more social than when he joined the ranks. There are no more late night excursions across prefectures. No need to ever lay his hand on a sword again.

The Hashira were lucky. They survived. But not without their own set of scars, both physical and mental. All that to say…

He’s restless.

- - - - - -

So, he was grateful that the day he had returned from a fight he did not think he’d come back from, he found you asleep, safe and sound in bed. He was so blinded by your beauty, by the glow the moonlight cast across your skin, that he failed to notice the roundness of you hidden beneath your blankets. He received quite the surprise when he slid into your bed and tried to wrap his arms around you, only to find your belly had grown quite a bit since he’d been gone.

The next morning, you happily showed off your new, round belly to your husband who donned a wide smile as you (and your child) modeled in his haori.

“You look…” His wide eyes drank in your ever-changing form. The bright smile on your face as your hands gently caressed your stomach, made his heart beat wildly behind his ribs. “There are no words,” he rasped, and he was surprised to see the immediate glassiness that overtook your eyes as you gazed at him. He wasn’t sure what triggered such a reaction, until you kneeled before him and cupped his face in your hands. You pressed your lips to his sweetly, and then your thumbs swiped along his cheeks. It was only then that he realized he was the one with the glassy eyes, the tears pouring down his face. You kissed him again, smiling when Giyuu finally gathered his thoughts enough to kiss you back.

You pull away, the both of you gazing softly into each other’s eyes, your love speaking so loudly in this silence. Until you snort, a soft giggle rushing past your lips.

“You can’t think of at least one word?”

- - - - - -

Adjusting to being home with you all the time was easy. Your presence was always comforting, always warm and cozy. Your presence was always gentle and soothing. You made anywhere feel like home. So being with you all the time…it was easy. Adjusting to your pregnancy was not.

It was adjusting to your mood swings. You once had Giyuu quivering in fear, backed into a corner as you let him have it over placing a utensil in the “wrong spot”. He had never seen you so worked up before, your fists trembling as you laid into him. He apologized profusely, swearing he would be careful and apologizing with a back rub later in the night that had you in tears, blubbering your own string of apologies for how you treated him earlier.

No apologies were needed. Giyuu had forgiven you the moment you had raised your voice.

But, Giyuu thinks you could have even struck fear into Muzan had he been unfortunate enough to be on the receiving end of your wrath.

Another time, he found you weeping in your bath, upset that the cloth you used to bathe yourself was too far away (hanging on the other end of the bath) and you now couldn’t reach it. 

“It’s okay, love,” Giyuu cooed gently as he grabbed the cloth for you. But you were in hysterics, muttering about how you knew this was such a foolish thing to be crying over, but you just couldn’t seem to help yourself, swiping the tears from your cheeks. Giyuu didn’t mind, of course. He quickly stripped out of his clothes and climbed into the water with you. You quietly sobbed against him as your husband helped you to wash yourself.

He tucked you into bed after, ordering you to rest while he completed the household chores you were so determined to finish today (he made sure to put everything in its proper place).

Then, there was one other time when you made Giyuu walk you all the way to Kanroji’s home because you had to have pancakes and butter. He’d never tried it before, but had heard from Tanjiro, and you, that they are quite delicious. If it was what you wanted, he was happy to oblige. 

So he made the journey with you without question, watching as Kanroji eagerly wrapped her arms around you the moment she’d opened the door.

There are no longer secrets among the Hashira. They are aware of Giyuu’s status as a married man who is soon to be a father. They’ve all met you, and they all love you. Which is why Kanroji was more than happy to whip up pancakes and butter for you to happily enjoy together with tea. And it’s why she was also happy to prepare extra to send home with you.

“Please let me know when the baby arrives!” Kanroji cheers. “Obanai and I will make the journey to see you all!”

Your smile is wide and so, so happy and Giyuu is surprised to find that he mirrors your expression as you and Kanroji hold hands and become immersed in conversation.

It’s a pleasant journey home, you going on and on about how delicious your sweet treats were. You’re in good spirits! But it doesn’t last long, as the moment you get home, you’re rushing to the bathroom where you get sick. You spend the rest of the day in bed.

Adjusting to being at home with you all the time is easy. Adjusting to this pregnancy, is not.

- - - - - -

Today, you are happy. The smile he missed so much is back, and the color has returned to your face. You don’t look sickly, as you did just a few days prior and your energy has seemed to return as well. Giyuu suggested you go into town to try and find essentials for the baby. You won’t be out long, though. You’re due to give birth any day now, and it’s hard for you to stand for long periods of time due to the weight of the baby.

But you’re humming, eyes scanning the goods at each stand as you gently rub your belly. You speak with the merchants, purchase what you deem is necessary, and you hand it to your husband who follows quietly behind you. He’s essentially the bag man today. He doesn’t mind. Not when your joy is radiating off of you. Not when you’re glowing so beautifully. 

You’re draped in Giyuu’s haori, your favorite article of clothing lately.

“I just love to smell you these days,” you told him when he’d found you wearing it in the garden one morning. “I suppose the baby does, as well.”

These days, he finds you wear his haori more than he does. And it makes Giyuu feel eternally grateful, makes him feel so blessed. Blessed that he survived. Blessed that he was able to get back to you. Blessed that he is present for this journey and all of its ups and downs. Blessed that he is the man lucky enough to love and be loved by you. And soon, blessed to be able to hold the one created by both of your love.

Giyuu watches on, a tiny smile curling at the corners of his lips as he watches you adorably waddle your way to another stand. And he finds that maybe adjusting to your pregnancy is not as hard as he thought.

[bumblehoneybee]

I saw you take requests and I was soo happy!! I rlly loved that “easy smiles” Drabble u wrote abt curly n reader, so I’d like to request (pre-crash) having a late night conversation with him where reader is getting burnt out/struggling mentally and he can kind of tell? Romantic/platonic r both fine, maybe js some comfort from our fav captain? :) augehghh i want a hug from him so bad. if u don’t feel like writing this that’s more than okay, have a great timezone!! <3

You Can Talk To Me

He doesn't mean to catch you in such a vulnerable moment.

Curly only meant to get some water after hitting the john, but as he shuffles into the lounge, all he can hear is your shaky breathing. He blinks the sleep from his eyes, heart picking up speed as he spots you sat on the couch with your head tilted over the back, staring up at the ceiling.

You only notice him when he calls your name, stood at the edge of the couch.

"Ah," you snap your head up, obviously twinging the muscles of your neck, "oof." You rub the knots out, flashing a weak smile for Curly as he settles onto the couch next to you. "Aha. . . hi, Captain."

"Are you okay?" Curly asks, hands raised and unsure of what to do. Anya is asleep, and he's no real doctor himself, so the options for immediate help are limited.

"Oh, I'm fine." You waft your free hand at him. The lights of the fake window douse your skin in an almost sickly color, like all the blood is gone from your face. Your eyes look dull too. "Just, y'know. . ."

There's a long pause. Seems you can't think of anything to make an excuse out of.

Curly sits next to you, and tries to think. You've always been so. . . jolly, quick with jokes and ideas to lighten the mood. He knows you can't always be happy, but he's never been privy to the moments when your guard falls. This is a first for him, and he's surprisingly nervous.

He's comforted most everyone on this ship. He knows how to do it. So why does the thought of comforting you and doing it wrong scare him so much?

"You know. . ." Curly starts, frantically grasping at the words that are usually so easy. "I know it may seem. . . unprofessional, since I'm technically your boss-"

"You're captain." You agree with a nod that you immediately regret. The rubbing gets faster.

Curly huffs at you, burying amusement under concern. "You can talk to me. I'm higher up, but I'm not one of them." He gestures to the nearest poster of Polle. You shoot the horse a glare on instinct, but your face is quick to fall. "I just want you safe and happy."

The quiet returns, and with it his offer hangs heavy over the two of you. You stare down at your lap, hand still loosely clinging to your neck. Curly tries not to stare at you, but god, your eyes just look so. . . sad.

He wishes he could take your hand, show you he's here for you. But that wouldn't be smart, would it?

A heavy sigh rushes out of your nose. "I guess I'm just getting a little tired." Your face pinches as you say it, so Curly lets you piece your words together. "It gets repetitive, y'know? Everything is the same, day in and day out. I try my best, cause I know everyone here is feeling the same kinda stir crazy I am, but. . . I'm tired."

Curly lunges forward as your shoulders sag, palm pressed to the space between them before he can think better of it. "Yeah?"

"I miss plants." You tell him. "Trees, flowers, grass. I miss the sky and the sun. These damn monitors-" You throw an arm towards the screen in front of your both, face screwed up in disgust. "I hate them. They're not even close to something real. Hell, I'd take looking out into space over them."

Curly's thumb has started rubbing into the base of your neck without him realizing. He can't bring himself to stop, though.

"Back home, I could just visit somewhere new, meet new people, pet a dog and smell enough flowers to give myself asthma." You laugh a little at yourself. Curly smiles, and you return it, sheepish. "Sorry. I do like all of you. I hope I don't sound like I'm sick of ya."

"We like you too." Curly says with a pat on the back. "I get it, though. Days can blend together here, drive you crazy." An idea wiggles into his head, one he can't dismiss, even if it's technically against protocol. "If you want a change in scenery, I could show ya the cockpit?"

Your head snaps up again, and this time Curly is the one to rub the wince from your neck. "Really??" You flounder suddenly, and it strikes just how close he is to you. His face burns as he eases back, hand tingling from the touch of your skin. "I mean. . . if it's alright! I don't wanna impose if you're busy."

"Nah," Curly waves the worry away, "it's nothing. Hell, I could teach you how to fly, if you're interested?"

"Very much!" You chirp.

The lights dim further, probably a code Pony Express programmed to save energy while the crew slept. It doesn’t matter, though, for your grin and bright eyes light up the entire damn spaceship.

You have never smiled at him like this before. Curly desperately wants you to do so every day, though.

"Then we'll do a lesson tomorrow." Curly says. He stands up, a hand offered to you. You take it, squeezing his hand before you let it go. "Try and get some sleep, okay?"

"Aye aye, Captain." You do a mock salute, striding off with a wave. "Sweet dreams!" As you pass through the door, you make sure to bow. "Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow!"

With you gone, Curly lets a grin take over his face, hiding it behind his hand.

Seems he's getting some alone time with you tomorrow. He's going to be having sweet dreams indeed.

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Cause it’s you

a/n what the hell is it with Kazzle Dazzle that always makes me write a full ass story inside of a simple little blurb… chokehold.

request: kaz brekker x reader one bed trope on a heist 🙏🙏

warning: blood, injuries, touch aversion, one bed.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Kaz was tired. Bone deep tired. That kind of tired that made you drag your legs through the pavement. His cane was taking most of his weight tonight, and truthfully, Kaz was ready for the day to end. And end as soon as possible. “So… Who’s going in to buy the rooms?” Jesper let out a painful breath. His ribs had to be black and blue by now. He did cover for most of the team during the job, and the way he was leaning on Wylan clearly showed that the adrenaline was wearing off.

“I would, but if I moved even the slightest, they would see blood all over my dress," Nina’s sugary, venomous voice shouted as she glared at Kaz, clearly still annoyed that her perfect dress, not to mention that Kaz bought the said dress, was ruined because of the job gone slightly wrong. Inej didn’t even move from her shadows. She and Kaz had a falling out while the pack trotted through the damp streets, and neither wanted to let go of their grudges.

“I’ve got it, guys," you said softly, catching everyone’s attention. “We all need a hot bath and a good night's sleep." You rested your hand on Nina’s shoulder as you peeked out of the alley. “Flirt your way through it," Jesper whispered. “Get us extra perks, please." The rest of the team snickered quietly.

You were about to respond when Kaz’s cane blocked your way. “No one is flirting, and you’re not going alone." His voice was way sharper than he usually used when he was talking to you. “I can handle myself, boss," you said, crossing your arms over your chest. “Yeah, but a lady alone in the shithole like this... Would be too suspicious," Kaz breathed, stepping out and looking back at you.

A couple of hours later, you were finally drying your hands after patching everyone up. Girls had jumped into sharing a room and had walked you out while wiggling eyebrows that you greeted with a middle finger. Wylan was, of course, sharing with Jasper, who had been complaining about the single beds ever since he stepped foot into the room, so you had helped Wylan push them against one another.

It’s not like you hadn’t shared rooms with Kaz. You two grew up together in the slums. You were the one to pull him out of the water when he finally floated to the shore. He had his ever-going addenda of pushing you away ever since, but you had always stuck around. You had always tried to be his voice of reason. "Shit," you muttered once you flicked the light on. “No, no, no," you breathed out, rushing forward. This had to be a joke. What were the odds of getting three rooms and one of them having a double bed? Maybe you could pull them apart; maybe there were two. You yanked the duvet covers off. Fingers searching for a split in the mattress.

“What did that poor bed do to you?" A voice from behind you startled you, making you lose your footing and go face-first into the covers. “Great now, street grime is all over the sheets," he grumbled. “Well, if you weren’t sneaking behind my back, this wouldn’t have happened," you huffed, climbing off the plush sheets. “It’s my room," Kaz breathed out. Your gaze found him as you narrowed your eyes, “Our room, you mean?”.

He held your gaze. Strong. Unmoving. “I’ll take the chair," he muttered under his breath, stepping deeper into the room and starting to undo his jacket. “Like hell you will, your legs will be killing you tomorrow," you huffed, bending to undo your shoes. “And your shoulder won’t?”, Kaz huffed. “Speaking of which," his movements halted as he turned to face you. “Stand up and undo your shirt," he motioned with his hand. You raised an eyebrow at him. “Kaz Brekker, you’re trying to get me naked?”, you teased. Kaz simply tilted his head to the side, his face emotionless. Before he stepped closer, “You have two choices," he said quietly. “Enlighten me," you muttered under your breath. “You take it off willingly, or I will cut it off your body." You could feel his breath on your skin, making a shiver run down your back. “It’s nothing," you breathed. “Prove it," he dared you.

You held his gaze in silence. You knew that it was probably more than bad. You could barely lift your hand, and your shoulder blade was throbbing. It was almost funny how not the fact that you had to strip in front of him made you anxious but the fact that he would see you weak. You hated being vulnerable. When you finally clawed out of the street, you had sworn to never be vulnerable again. And Kaz hated weak investments. He didn’t do deals that weren’t beneficial to him. And now you...

You felt the cold metal tip of his cane slip between the two buttons right in between your breasts. "Hey," you jerked back, turning away from him. “Show me that fucking shoulder, YN," Kaz practically growled. “Or, I’ll...”. But he didn’t get to finish as your hands clumsily moved to undo the handful of buttons until you were practically panting from the panic cursing through your veins. Turning back to him, you yanked the dirty fabric from your body. "Happy," you hissed.

Kaz clenched his jaw. He didn’t even allow himself to blink as he looked at the crusted, angrily red cut and a handful of bruises littering your skin. He forced himself to put them all into his memory. Because this was all his doing. All his games had gotten you hurt. “Wipe those fucking tears off your cheeks," he huffed harshly. Too harshly, and he hated himself for it. But he couldn’t. Physically couldn’t watch you cry. It felt as if someone was carving out his chest. Your shaky hands clumsily wiped the damp patches beneath your eyes.

“You got out. We both did," Kaz muttered because he knew the demons that were clouding your brain now. He had met them too. You nodded. Wrapping your hands around your torso, it only just now hit him that you were standing in front of him topless. Kaz turned around so quickly that he nearly gave himself a whiplash before muttering, “Go, take a bath.”.

Your fingers were crinkling from the time you had spent laying in that hot water. You had hurried off the moment Kaz dismissed you. You knew he would never take advantage of you. And that bodies in general made him uncomfortable, but the way he had turned away from you. As if you were the most ugly creature that he had seen. Now your only salvation was that he might just be asleep by the time you stepped out of the bathroom.

Kaz, however, was far from sleeping. He had lost count of how many times he had walked up to the bathroom door to listen that you were still rustling around. He had lost his jacket and gloves. His hair was messy from all the pulling he has done. The slow turning of the key made him look up. Your hair was done up and still damp. Feet bare. You looked so small, like this. And that deep desire to keep you safe shifted gears without him even realizing it.

“You’re not asleep," you muttered, barely meeting his eyes. “It looks like I’m not," Kaz said quietly. There was no one else whom Kaz trusted the way he trusted you, yet here you two were as if you hadn’t spent the majority of your lives together. “Did you fix your shoulder?” Kaz asked, clearly stalling. You nodded, and he followed suit. “Then get into bed," "Kaz," you huffed. “I didn’t ask," he said, narrowing his eyes at you. You wanted to fight him, but you simply didn’t have enough energy to do so, “And you?”.

You saw something glistening in his eyes for a heartbeat before he swallowed, “I..." and let out a labored breath. “You can also lay down," you muttered. “I will keep to my side; we can put pillows in between." There was a note of hopefulness in your voice. One that held Kaz in a chokehold. “Lay down, woman," he said through gritted teeth. But you caught it. There was that part of him that he hid. So you wasted no time, doing right as he said.

He watched your every move. Watched your frame disappear between the sheets. Only then did Kaz step closer, his breathing hitching in his chest. The tide was rising. threatening to swallow him whole. “Kaz...”, and here it was with that same velvety voice. One that always pulled him right out. Chasing away all of his fears. He blinked a couple of times only to meet your beautiful eyes looking right at him.

“Close your eyes," he breathed, making you frown. “I didn’t know that you getting into bed was such a big secret," you teased. Kaz felt the corners of his lips turning upwards. "Smartass," he whispered under his breath as he swung his legs over the mattress. And for some reason, this didn’t feel too bad. It didn’t seem all that scary now that he was in bed. With you. You. It was because of you. Kaz turned his head to the side, watching you watch him. And for the first time, he let himself look. Not only look, actually see you. And fuck if you weren’t the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

“You’re okay?”, you muttered, your fingers slowly moving toward the center of the bed. Kaz watched them getting closer, but he didn’t feel like stopping you. “When am I not okay when I’m with you?" A light gasp left your lips at his words, your lips disappearing between your teeth. “Don’t do that," he grumbled, his fingers only lifting and grazing yours, and you instantly pulled them away. Not wanting to cross his boundaries. "Sorry," you shook your head. “Not your fingers," Kaz protested. “Your lip," he pointed out, making you frown. “What about it?” You brushed your fingers over it, trying to see if you had bitten too hard and drawn blood. “Because if you’ll continue to do it, I’ll...", Kaz swallowed. “I might lose my restraint in holding back." And then he reached out, his shaky fingers brushing over your plump lips. It took all the self-control you had to not whimper at the touch. Savoring the way his fingers felt, you only let your eyes close for a second, and then there was nothing. As if you had imagined it. You had barely caught Kaz practically jumping out of bed. Reaching for his jacket and cane. "Kaz," you breathed, pushing the covers off your body. But your plea was met with a slam of the door.

[rottenspawn]

Haii ^u^ I'm requesting a cute one shot of reader x 1x1x1x1 who brings to fall in love with each other due to their mutual hatred of shedletsky (1x1x1x1 hates shedletsky slightly more obviously)

(he/him prns but you can do gender neutral too!)

Reader's dream is to be an admin due to thinking they would be popular by doing so, making them idolize Builderman HEAVILY, so seeing shedletsky be laid back despite Literally living his dream pissed reader OFF... Your best friends with BUILDERMAN for Pete's sake but you spend your time trolling like your not friends with one of the most important people on robloxia!? he tries hiding his hatred for shedletsky but it's pretty obvious. Shedletsky sometimes trolls reader after finding out about the readers envy, which made reader even MORE angry at shedletsky.

Reader is brash and overconfident despite being a absolute coward. Whenever shedletsky missed he would criticize him saying stuff like "I wouldn't have missed that.. I mean, the killer wasn't even moving.. they were right there.." (He's also a survivalist/support which makes it sillier.. he's never held a weapon in his life) He does stuff like this to everyone except Builderman to get on his "good side" (which kind of made almost everyone dislike him unsurprisingly) but he does it to shedletsky the most..

One time shedletsky decided to give reader his sword since "he could do better".. reader got obliterated by John Doe and embarrassed.. THIS MADE HIS HATRED EVEN MORE BIGGER.. if shedletsky was dying he wouldn't lift a finger.. sometimes reader would use a medkit next to an injured shedletsky just to taunt him.. (id throttle myself if I was shedletsky)

When 1x1x1x1 finally killed shedletsky after targeting him for half of the match.. he notices reader smiling at his corpse for a moment.. Which confuses him so 1x1x1x1 asks reader about it.. You can make up the rest ^u^ (shedletskys also surprisingly one of my fav characters despite this.. HOLY GUACAMOLE I DIDN'T MEAN TO WRITE THIS MUCH JUST FOR A REQUEST..)

Burnt Chicken

(1x4 x Shedletsky hating!reader)

(REQUESTER SCARES ME HELP)

of course that chicken loving dimwit was doing absolutely NOTHING the entire day while you broke your back helping out

you deserved that promotion not him…

what you would do to strangle the life out of that stupid man.

rushing over towards Elliot you slam a medkit in his face with a grunt

not questioning the fast food worker rushes to stop the bleeding nodding with a thank you

despite being made for survival you try your best to aid your allies

to show your more valuable then Shedletsky

you have to, no you MUST be better

you MUST ALWAYS be BETTER

surprisingly Shedletsky was no where to be seen,it was already 2:30

A loud screaming sound of pain shoots through the air

Sprinting to the scene, a sense of shock washes over you

a body laid before you freshly deceased

for it was…

THE SHEDLETSKY DEAD?

oh this was RICH.

you couldn’t help but smile at the sight

a once former admin REDUCED to a decaying corpse

By his own creation

it was delicious

yes….YES YES YES

It was so JOYOUS

but of course the moment couldn’t be savored

the terror music gets louder and louder

panic washes over your entire being

The renowned being of hatred , 1x4 had found you

“A being of envy laughs at something they will never obtain?”

The air suddenly grew stiff as if it could be cut with a knife.

you were going to die

Right?

“Do you also harbor hatred for SHEDLETSKY?”

Neither dared to move

Yet something inside of you was..curious

Even without a reply 1x4 had his answer

“I see…a person of similar interests”

outstretching their hand 1x4 was proposing a deal

ah yes a deal with hatred themself

Despite being on different teams there was one thing you could agree upon

Shedletsky sucks.

he must suffer

[cellythefloshie]

;; What Comes After for @kurlyteuvo for the summer fic exchange 2k25

Summary: When Mikko is traded mid-season to the Carolina Hurricanes, it feels like he's lost everything. The last thing he expects is to be drawn to Lucy Deveraux dietitian. Lucy has worked hard to earn respect in both in life and in the league, even if she doesn't quiet have it for herself. She’s used to players cycling in and out of her life. What she’s not used to is someone like Mikko noticing her for more than just what she can do for his diet. Kinks & TW: player x employed by the team, undefined relationship, plus-sized/curly original character, height difference, thigh riding, protected sex, oral sex (female receiving), trade angst, resolved angst, edited but probably poorly. As always, if you feel like I need to add any other kinks/triggers, please yell at me. Author Notes: DONNA! I don't think I've done a very good job at hiding that I've been your fic writer because I've been tip toeing around the topic every time you've talked about writing yours! I hope I still managed to keep it a surprise. And I apologies with how rushed the plot (and the editing) may seen. The deadline snuck up on me very quickly -- and as always, the plot I found myself forming could have easily been a full size novel. There was so much more I wish I could have included but I hope you enjoy it all the same. And of course, a huge thank you to @wyattjohnston for putting the exchange together, and always finding me a recipient that has players/tropes that challenge me as a writer! Please be kind. This is the first time I've really written a curvy/plus-sized original character that struggled with her body imagine all the while being confident and beautiful in her own skin! I hope you all love Lucy as much as I do! Word Count: 15k+

Playlist.

Rantanen, Hall traded to Hurricanes in 3-way deal with Avalanche, Blackhawks – Necas, Drury go from Carolina to Colorado; Chicago gets draft pick

***

January 29th, 2025

First thing in the morning, the kitchen space in Lenovo Center could only ever smell like one of a few things: Steel-cut oats with cinnamon and strong coffee, or the sweat of twenty-three over-worked professional athletes. Lucy preferred the former of the two, which she could always guarantee if she arrived early. If the kitchen was alive with the clatter of plates of the chirping of rookies trying to earn their place in the line up – and an extra piece of bacon on their breakfast bagel – she knew she was too late. But the morning was quiet. She heard nothing more than her sneakers squawking faintly against the clean tile floor as she stepped into the prep area with her tablet in her hand and her stomach growling.    

She walked straight to the cupboard, going through her inventory without any hesitation. Lucy had done it so many times since he had been hired by the organization that it was second nature. They were out of the yogurt Seth preferred. The fruit bowl had a disproportionate ratio of apples to bananas and the citrus were all gone. And Andrei’s overly complicated, but strongly preferred, supplement mix recipe that was scribbled down on a bright pink sticky note and taped to the cabinet was suddenly missing. 

Sighing, and ignoring the sudden rumble in her stomach at the thought of a cold orange slice, Lucy added to her list on her tablet. Work was her happy place. The organization, the science, the routine. It gave her control in a way the rest of her life failed to have. 

Her stomach growled again, so loudly that she couldn’t ignore it anymore.  

Lucy had skipped breakfast. Again. It was the second time that week the food in her own kitchen had gone untouched. She tried not to put much thought into why, but they haunted her as she stood at the centre of the counter top face to face with anything she could fathom for breakfast. Her scale had glared at her when she had stepped on it that morning, and her date the night before had ended with a you’re nice but… text she wouldn’t reply to. 

The thoughts alone should have been enough to tide her over until lunch, but there was no ignoring the ache in the depth of her stomach. Lucy would compromise. It wasn’t food if it was blended. She made her way to the industrial blender and dumped in frozen bananas, oats, a spoonful of powdered peanut butter, almond milk and cinnamon. But no kale. She didn’t have the energy for kale today – and she actually wanted to enjoy her smoothie. 

She was halfway through pouring the smoothie into her favorite cup – a sparkly purple cup lid and straw combo that was a gift from her mother on her last birthday – when she heard a heavy sigh from somewhere in the room. 

Her first wrapped around the cup so tight it almost overflowed at the realization; she wasn’t alone. 

Turning slowly in place, Lucy looked out over the seating area that looked like a high school cafeteria when it was flooded with players. But it was completely empty, with chairs tucked into their respective tables instead of moved to where it was most convenient to talk about fantasy NFL rosters or the team’s next big party. All except for one. The player sat alone in the corner at the far end of the room, facing the wall. Whoever it was, they didn’t want to be seen. Lucy blinked, her head cocked to the side as she let her eyes drag down his head of golden curls and across the breadth of his strong shoulder. Silently, Lucy chastised herself. She should have noticed him sooner. 

“You’re early,” Lucy said, a small smile forming on her lips. “Or an insomniac.”

The player looked up from the table top and up at the wall in front of him. But he didn’t look at her. She watched as his shoulders tensed, straightening up from their heavy slouch before he reached a single hand up to stroke through his hair. “Bit of both.”

Recognition should have hit her then, but she didn’t know that voice. She had been working with the players for over two years now, but he wasn’t one of her guys – which meant he had to be one of two people: Taylor Hall or Mikko Rantanen. The two of them had been the product of the blockbuster trade that sent Necas and Drury to Colorado and left a mess of paperwork on her desk. Lucy had yet to review their files that had been sent over by their respective team’s nutritionists – she hadn’t expected them so soon. 

Stepping a little closer to the table, Lucy leaned in a little closer just to get a better look at him – she couldn’t risk misidentifying him. Big shoulders, stoic features and eyes so blue that they made her heart skip a beat – it was only then it clicked. 

“Rantanen, right?” She asked, even though she knew she was right. “I’m Lucy Deveraux. Team Nutritionist. I handle what goes in your body when it’s not adrenaline and regret.” Lucy smiled softly and raised her smoothie cup up in a casual greeting. 

Mikko offered her what she was sure was supposed to be a smile. His lips had curled so slightly that it almost looked like a grimace, and there was a darkness in his bright eyes that reminded her of rainy days. It didn’t look like he was tired. It was something heavier that she couldn’t quite identify without knowing him. 

Her eyes fell from him and down to the plate on the table in front of him. He had made himself a breakfast – or what she was sure was supposed to be breakfast. A piece of dry whole grain toast, a single boiled egg sprinkled with pepper, and a sad cup of Seth’s plain yogurt. No flavor. No joy. Just enough to stop his stomach from growling.

“I’ve heard McKinnon was a hard ass for nutrition, but I didn’t think he had you all eating like he was an almond mom.” 

Mikko’s lips tugged upwards – a real smile – before falling again. He looked down at his place, then back up at her. “I’m not really hungry.”

“You don’t have to be hungry,” Lucy told him, “but you do have to fuel your body.” She held out her smoothie, glittery cup and all, an offering to him. “Here. Try this.”

His head cocked back a little further, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he asked, “Are you always this persistent?”

“Only because you’re going to be tired after your first practice with Rod,” Lucy told him, her voice soft as she wiggled the sparkling cup at him. The sparkled danced under the fluorescent lights, and she just hoped it made it more enticing. “You’re not the first guy to look like hell after you’ve landed. I’m not asking you to love it here just yet. Just don’t let your performance be the thing you lose next.”

Mikko’s shoulders rocked with a heavy sigh as he reached out for the smoothie. His fingers brushed hers as his large hand wrapped around the cup in his fist. After a quick examination, and what looked like a subtle sniff, he took a sip. The smallest of smiles returned. 

“Banana, oats, peanut butter, almond milk, cinnamon,” she listed, “I usually add kale, but, I didn’t feel like ruining my day right from the start.”

He made a small sound that almost sounded like a laugh before taking another sip. 

“I’ll take that as a success, and I’ll just get rid of this for you,” she added, reaching for his depressing breakfast. Lucy carried it with her back into the kitchen and tossed it into the compost bin without waiting for permission. She tucked the plate into the dishwasher,then grabbed a disposable cup to make herself another smoothie. 

The industrial blender whirled, masking Mikko’s footsteps as he walked up beside her and joined her at the counter. She almost jumped when she spotted him out of the corner of her eyes. He was tall, just two inches shy of being an entire foot taller than her and he was broad – so much so his arm nearly brushed up against hers as he took over most of the prep space just by existing in it. 

Lucy wouldn’t have to ask why his nickname was Moose. 

“Thanks,” Mikko said, his voice soft. 

“For doing my job?” she quirked up a brow as she popped the flimsy recycled plastic lid onto her compostable cup. 

“For not treating me like a headline.”

Lucy paused, her eyes fixating on the pale brown liquid of her smoothie as it overflowed from the mouth of her cup and oozed down the side of the cup. Then, she turned, catching his gaze as he stood there, his neck craned slightly to look down at her. Their gaze met for a second longer than she meant to, and the intensity in his eyes sent a nervous prickle over her pale skin.

Her mouth went dry, and she took a quick sip of her smoothie – under the guise of trying to prevent it from spilling further – before she could speak. “You’re welcome,” she managed, “But let me be clear, I will annoy the hell out of you if I see you trying to skip out on a real meal again.”

Mikko took another sip from her sparkling purple straw, and he smiled again. This time, there was a calmness in his eyes, like a ray of sunshine after a storm. It shined down on her for a mere moment before the thunder of chaos struck: The rest of the team was arriving, and the whole room was about to know Seth’s last yogurt cup was missing – and she wasn’t going to be the one to tell him where it had ended up. 

***

January 31st, 2025

The fluorescent lights above Lucy’s desk buzzed softly, barely audible, but just loud enough to make her skin crawl. Normally, she liked to work with them off, with the light of her computer and the amber glow from her floor lamp – her favorite thrift-store find: a brass arc floor lamp she was sure was from the 80’s. It brought a homey feeling to the otherwise sterile, too small office. It was windowless, and perpetually cold – like most of the lower-level rooms in the area. But it was a place to call her own instead of having to make a meeting space out of the kitchen when she had to meet one on one with the players. 

Files were stacked in piles at the corner of her desk, it was a mess of organized chaos to sort through before the files could find their final destinations. Beside them was her coffee stained Carolina Hurricanes mug and a tiny bobblehead of Rod Brinda’Amour hoisting the Stanley Cup. 

He was a beacon of inspiration for any player that came into her office. A reminder that while they were the key pieces in what would be a push for the Stanley Cup, but that the staff stood with them and would support them in every single way that they could. From the edges of the skate blades, to the food that fueled them, they could finally fight their way back to the cup if they worked together. 

Lucy reached out with a single manicured finger and tapped the top of Rod’s head and watched it bobble with a small smile before her eyes raised back up to her computer screen. She was scrolling through Mikko Rantanen’s records that had been sent over by the Avalanche’s steam. It was highlighted with a rainbow of colors, focusing on what she wanted to discuss or any area she felt like they could improve on while he was with the team. It really wasn’t all that much to review, Lucy ultimately started to highlight random things in pink just to make herself look busy when there was nothing else on her to do list – and that was exactly what she had been doing when she heard a soft knock against the doorframe. 

“Come in,” she welcomed him without looking away from her screen. 

She heard his heavy footsteps as Mikko made his way inside, and the gentle closing of the door behind him. It was only then she looked up, no longer needing to pretend to be busy. He was dressed in a grey dry-fit shirt that clung to his torso like a second skin and  black joggers that hung loose and low on his hips. His only accessories were the slight sheen of sweat – or maybe it was water from a hot post-practice shower – that clung to his neck and the heavy bags under his eyes. Mikko looked tired, not just from practice, the kind of tiredness that came from racing thoughts and sleepless nights. Lucy could see it in his eyes, and how he wouldn’t quite meet hers. She had seen the look so many times before in the reflection of her own mirror. 

Mikko sat across from her stiffly, his arms crossed lowly on his chest and his shoulders slouched. He didn’t want to be sitting across from her, but no one ever really did at first. Not when she looked the way she did. 

Lucy wasn’t unhealthy, she knew that, but she knew she didn’t fit the body type that people usually associated with nutritionists. She wasn’t a size zero. She wasn’t muscular, nor was she running any marathons any time soon. So when a professional athlete walked into her office and saw just who was going to be telling them how to take care of their bodies for peak performance, it made it difficult to earn their trust – but Mikko, he seemed different. He didn’t seem like he didn’t want to be in the same room as her because she didn’t look qualified to do her job. He didn’t want to be there for one simple reason: Carolina wasn’t his home. 

“Alright,” Lucy smiled, her fingers tapping across her colorful keyboard before she turned her screen towards him. “I’ll make this quick and painless for you,” she hoped her playfulness would put him at ease, but Mikko only seemed to slump further into his chair. “Here’s where we’re starting. Weight’s stable. Body fat has gone up just a bit since your last measurement in Colorado, but nothing we’re worried about here. Lean mass is solid. And..” she tilted her head to the side, her hair falling into her eyes as she spoke, “you’re dehydrated.”

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Mikko shrug. “I drink when I’m thirsty.” 

“How’s that working out for you?” Lucy challenged, “Are tasks that used to be easy now leaving you feel weak? I’d put money on you having headaches. Daily. And there’s no hiding these,” she tapped the skin below her own eye, “sunken and purple. Dehydrated and not sleeping right, double whammy. Your body is screaming at me for help.”

Her tone was heavy with a playful drama that earned a faint smirk from Mikko. 

Lucy smiled to herself. Progress. 

“I know you’ve probably done this a hundred times, but I don’t know you. So please, humor me. At least pretend you’re going to consider my suggestions.” Lucy slid a slim folder across the desk towards him as she spoke – a food log on one side, a sleep tracker on the other. 

“Walk me through what your day looked like yesterday. Start with when you woke up.”

Mikko leaned back in the chair, a single hand reaching up to knot in his damp curls of blonde hair. His head leaned back, resting on the top of the chair as his eyes fell shut. “Woke up around six. Didn’t sleep well, the hotel bed is too soft.” He paused, a heavy sigh rocking through his body as he seemed to melt further into the comfort of the chair. “Grabbed coffee in the lobby. Tried eating breakfast here, and drank that smoothie instead. Had practice, and ate a protein bar after.”

“What did you have for lunch?” Lucy prompted. 

“Grilled chicken salad.”

“Well,” Lucy hummed, “that’s boring. And what was for dinner?”

Mikko didn’t answer right away. Instead he sat up slowly, his eyes peeking open like a child that knew they were about to get in trouble. “I didn’t really eat much. Nothing before the game. I ordered room service afterwards. Only ate the bread that came with the soup. Wasn’t hungry.” 

Leaning back in her chair, Lucy crossed her arms over her chest and found herself mirroring Mikko’s casual posture as she studied him. Her eyes dragged from the tried expression of his face, and down his body that rested there. She looked at him not with judgment, but with concern. She had been working as a nutritionist long enough to recognize when something wasn’t right – and she had been struggling with enough herself to know that he was trying to hide it. So, she wouldn’t push him. Not yet. 

“You do know that your body burns through four thousand calories on a heavy day, right?”

Mikko shrugged again, “I’m not trying to bulk right now.”

“Are you trying to play hockey right now?” Lucy countered, her voice soft. “Because the last time I checked, you have a game tomorrow and then,” she pulled up the team schedule, “you’re on the road for four, starting in… Winnipeg.” She cringed at the thought. If she wasn’t convinced he was struggling already, he surely would be after having to go to Winnipeg for the second time within thirty days. 

There was a long silence between them. Mikko wouldn’t quite meet her gaze and his jaw tightened. He didn't like something she had said.

“I get it,” Lucy sighed, “I’ve never been in your position, but I’ve seen a lot of guys who have. Starting over in a new city, in a new system all the while wearing a jersey that doesn’t feel like your own. You sleep like shit, and then your appetite goes–” 

Mikko cut her off, his words sharp. “Didn’t realize nutritionists doubled as therapists here.”

“Therapist? No,” Lucy shook her head, “Just concerned. Looked like you needed a little reminder that you’re human.” 

Mikko simply blinked at her. His lips parted only to close again as he straightened up in his seat. “Alright,” he cleared his throat, “what do you want from me?”

“Three meals a day. Two snacks. One smoothie. Real foods– things with fiber, fat, protein, color. Drink literally anything. Water. BodyArmor. Put diet Coke in your water bottle, I don’t care as long as you’re drinking something. And check in with me once a week.” She paused, then added, “And start treating your body like it didn’t just get traded. It’s still yours.”

Lucy slid another sheet of paper into his folder. It was a suggested meal plan that she didn’t really expect him to follow. Many players didn’t – they had their own personal chefs, or wives, that took care of that for them. But it was neatly laid out for him, and annotated, with his name written in her tidy cursive at the top of the page. And in the bottom corner, hidden behind the hold of the folder, a message for him in faded blue ink:

You didn’t choose to be here, but that doesn’t mean you’re alone. – Lu

Mikko picked up the finger, reading it over slowly and she watched as his thumb brushed over her message at the bottom of the page. For a moment, he sat there in silence, his bright eyes fixed on the page.  Then, finally he spoke quietly: “This is the first thing that’s made me feel like this will work out.”

Lucy smiled softly when she answered, “We want you here Mikko. That’s why you’re here. But for this to work out, you’re going to need to want it to. You don’t have to know how everything’s going to happen now. But I am going to ask you to do one thing for me, right now.”

“What’s that?” he smirked, a hint of curiosity in his eyes. 

“Go eat a real meal, dammit.”

***

February 1st, 2025

Lucy always found a certain comfort in what others saw as chaos when it came to pregame prep. There were different routines from the ones she had set for off days. There was no time for inventory and rarely an opportunity for one on one meeting with the players. They had to focus on their pregame routines, and Lucy, she focused on everything else. Hydration. Post practice meals – and pre game meals for those who didn’t have arrangements at home. Lucy also made sure the room was stocked with anything extra the players may need from a quick to assuring everything from mustard packets to snacks would be prepared by the team chef for the first intermission. 

She was scribbling her pen across her checklist, trying to get the black ink to bleed out onto the page instead of leaving nothing but faint impressions on the page, when the first wave of players rolled in. With them was Seth Jarvis, who went straight to the fridge and made a satisfied hum when he found that his favourite yogurt had already been stocked. 

“Thanks Luce!” he called out to her, and she forced a smile to hide the grimace that threatened to take her features. 

She hated that nickname.

Hearing it never failed to make her feel like the toothless, pudgy child that got bullied on the playground – someone she never really outgrew, who she kept buried deep down inside. It was almost enough to pull her from the comfort of her pregame routine, her mind slipping into doubt that someone like her didn’t belong there – even though the players had never left her feeling unwelcome. 

Lucy took a breath, her eyes focusing on the page and the impact of footsteps against the floor. She tried to let the familiar sounds calm her, to pull her back from her insecurity, only to fall in too deep to notice someone standing right beside her. 

“Morning,” Mikko said softly, but his words still left her lurching in surprise. 

A single hand raised to rest over her chest, as if it could calm her racing heart. Lucy looked up at him just as he held out her sparkling purple smoothie cup, rinsed and clean. 

“Morning,” she replied, taking it with a smile that was no longer forced, “I can’t tell if you’re returning the cup or silently asking me to make you another smoothie,” she teased him. 

“Returning it,” he clarified and reached out across the counter for one of the disposable smoothie cups they kept on hand, “as for the smoothie, I think I can take it from here, Luce.”

Lucy stiffened, her shoulders rising and falling with a heavy breath as if to silently cry: Oh no, no him too. She hovered there, awkwardly near the counter as Mikko stood beside her, towering over the smoothie bar. His shoulders were slouching forward as he scanned over the different beverage containers and the neat labels she had given each of them – almond milk, oat, cashew – as if one would call out to him, telling him exactly what belonged in the drink she had made him before. 

Lucy leaned in a little closer, dropping her voice low. “If you promise to never call me Luice again, I’ll tell you what I put in the smoothie.”

Mikko glanced at her out of the corner of his bright eyes, his face softening. And just when Lucy thought he was going to question her about it, he didn’t. Instead, he obliged. “Alright. We’ll just have to find a new nickname for you then, Lucy.”

Her chest fluttered in a way that Lucy couldn't quite explain. It wasn’t anxiety, and it wasn’t her beginning to spiral. With his simple words, Mikko had done something no man had done in a long time – he made her feel heard. Valid. Maybe even special. 

“It was almond milk,” she offered, “don’t forget the cinnamon, and today, maybe add the kale – or spinach. You know, just for the extra boost before the  game against the Kings tonight.”

When she glanced up at him, Mikko gave her a small smile, his eyes soft as he scooped frozen bananas into the blender. “Thanks, Lulu.” 

“Lulu?” she raised a brow. Her head cocked as he blended up the smoothie, the whirl of the blades leaving no room for conversation. When the air went quiet with nothing more than the rumble of conversation heard as he poured the smoothie into his cup, Mikko smiled down at her. 

“Lulu, I like,” he smiled, “you like?” 

“Yeah,” Lucy nodded, “actually, I do. Thanks.” Her gaze dropped to the dirty countertop, and she was quick to fall into the habit of making sure the prep space was neat and tidy for the next player that required it. But then she froze, quickly turning in place to stop Mikko before he could join the rest of the players in the seating area where they had first met. “Mikko, wait.”

He stopped on the other side of the counter, his lips wrapped around his straw as he took a sip. His eyes were wide, questioning what she was calling out to him for without saying a word. 

“If I don’t see you before puck drop, good luck today,” Lucy smiled. 

His lips, stilled wrapped around his straw, curled up at the corners. Whatever version of Mikko this was, it was better than the one she had seen in her office the day before. A little less tired, and a little happier to be that – and maybe, just maybe she had been a motivator behind that. 

***

Staying until the game was finished wasn’t something that was expected of Lucy. But with the upcoming road trip she wanted to make sure everything was done before the team hit the road. Lucy made her final confirmation emails with the team’s hotels and the caterers that would be serving them while on the road all from the tranquility of her office. It was quiet there, even with the almost 19,000 fans in attendance, she could only hear them after the blare of the goal horn. 

Lucy had only heard it twice during the night as she worked, and she didn’t hear the cheers that came with the storm surge at the end of the game which told her all she really needed to know about the game: The Hurricanes lost. 

Packing her bag, Lucy shut down for the night and moved through the lower levels of the arena, with the intention of one last look in the kitchen to assure the lights were off for the night – and to maybe steal a snack from the fridge for the ride home. The corridors were mostly empty already. Players and staff were always quick to leave the rink after a loss when morale was low. But she could still hear showers echoing in the distance sending a scent of what smelt to be eucalyptus soap into the air with the scent of rubber and sweat that forever lingered there. With the doors in sight before her, Lucy became excited by the idea of fresh air – but then she heard it, a loud bang from the locker room. 

Pausing in place, Lucy looked up and down the corridor cautiously. For a moment she had thought she imagined the sound, but it quickly became clear that she may have been the only one around to hear it. Everyone else had gone home. Slowly, she moved to the entrance of the locker room. It wasn’t somewhere she went often, only when she was required, and it felt almost intrusive to hover there waiting for the source of the noise to make itself known. And when it didn’t present itself to her, Lucy sighed. 

“Hello? Is there anyone still in there?” She called out, and received nothing in return. 

Lucy looked up and down the length of the corridor one more time, looking for a stray hockey stick or hockey skate to arm herself with as she muttered to herself under her breath. “Why does this have to feel like a goddamn horror movie?”

She found nothing, but even with her courage weaning, she knew she had to enter the locker room. “Alright, I’m coming in!” Was Lucy’s final warning before she entered the room and found only one player remaining. 

Mikko sat at the far end, his head in his hands, damp curls falling between his fingers and down onto his knuckles. His gear was off and long ago packed away by the team, but he had a broken stick at his feet and a wet towel draped around his neck. His whole posture sagged under an invisible weight that he had been carrying around since he arrived in Raleigh. The loss had only added to it. 

“Mikko,” she said softly, “you’re going to have to give a girl a warning next time you want to break things. I thought I was about to get whacked in here.” 

There was a playfulness in her tone as she spoke, but it didn’t phase Mikko. He remained in his seat, unmoving – Hell, he didn’t even look up at her. He only seemed to sigh, the heavy weight of it rocking his tense shoulders. 

“I know I’m not exactly the right kind of person to give a past-game pep talk,” Lucy spoke slowly as she crossed the floor - careful not to step on the team logo in the middle of the floor - and sat on the bench next to him in the stall labeled J. Blake. “But when I have a shit day at work, I like a drink and a good meal.”

Mikko didn’t move. 

“There’s this place not far from here. Comfort food, low lighting, strong drinks. I think you’d love it. It’d hit the spot if it were me.”

Lucy reached into her pocket, pulling out her phone to pull up the restaurant details for him to take down. She was typing it into Google when his voice stopped her. 

“Would you take me?” he asked, his eyes still fixated on the ground in front of her, but his hands had dropped from his face. One had found its place on the bench right next to hers. So close, she could feel his heat radiating from him. 

Lucy froze, her teeth coming down on her lower lip as she considered his request. 

She wasn’t supposed to fraternize with the players. She knew that. Lines were made – some so clear that they were involved in her contract. 

But Mikko, he looked so alone. How could she say no? 

“Yeah,” she said after a moment. “Sure, Let’s go.”

***

Lucy didn’t like to brag, but when she did it was often because one of her closest friends owned one of the hottest restaurants in Raleigh. It meant she got a table even on the busiest of nights, and it was always the same one. Tucked into the corner, just big enough for two, was her quiet table. Lucy had only ever eaten there alone, eating whatever her friend would bring out to her. But it was different with Mikko joining her. It had earned a raised brown from the hostess, and whispers from the bartenders as they passed. Word would soon reach the kitchen that she wasn’t alone, but that she was in the company of one of the NHL’s biggest superstars. 

Carolina wasn’t the biggest hockey market, but they had been selling out home games for as long as she could remember. And with Necas being traded away in the multi-team deal with Mikko and Hall, she was sure the 6 '4 hockey forward would be well recognized – even in the dim light. 

The thought kept Lucy tense as they sat together at the table, silently looking over their menus like it was an awkward blind date until the waiter arrived asking about drink orders. 

Mikko looked up over the corner of his menu at her, an eyebrow raised up, as if to silently ask if he would get in trouble for indulging himself in a drink. 

Lucy stifled a laugh. 

“As long as you make it to practice tomorrow, I don’t care what you drink,” Lucy assured him. 

“Gin and tonic,” Mikko said after a moment. 

Lucy smiled as she looked up at the waiter, “Lemon drop, please.”

If she had a signature drink, a lemon drop would be it. Both sweet and sour, fun and bright – and while Lucy didn’t know Mikko well, she was sure a gin and tonic was his; Classic, smart, serious even. But it only took one drink for Lucy to meet the real Mikko. 

By his second drink, Mikko was worlds away from the tired, slumped over, recently traded hockey player she had met mere days ago. His voice came alive with a hint of laughter as he spoke. He sat up straight, almost proudly in his seat across from her as he raved about the appetizers that were brought out to them by the staff without having to be ordered – Yet again one of the many perks of knowing the chef. He knew exactly what she liked. And his wit led to a real laughter that Lucy could feel deep in her own chest, something like a flutter. 

If they were on a date, it would have been going well. But it wasn’t. Lucy wasn’t trying to make Mikko fall in love with her – but the city, and she was sure it was working, one bite at a time. 

The chef sent out food, plate after plate. Small servings made with care for the two of them to get a taste of all he had to offer. One bite, then another, just enough to leave them wanting more before they were presented with a small dessert menu. 

“Oh no,” she shook her head at the waiter, “I really shouldn’t.”

Mikko leaned forward with a lopsided smile that left her brain short circuiting. If she didn’t know any better she would have thought he was leaning in for a kiss. But the light caught his eye, uncovered its mischievous gleam as he spoke. “Let’s share just one,” he said with a wink, “I won’t tell anyone, if you don’t.” 

Chewing on the inside of her cheek, Lucy hesitated. She could already feel the familiar uneasiness of guilt on the depth of her stomach. The smaller portion sizes made her feel a little better about what she had eaten, but dessert? Just the thought was enough to leave her teetering on the edge of spiralling. Just one more bite would have been enough to have her call her therapist in the morning – But Mikko was looking at her with such happiness in his eyes that she didn’t want to be the one to extinguish it. So she nodded. 

They shared a single slice of cranberry cheesecake. Its flavors were unlike anything she had tasted before. Lucy almost melted back into her seat, her head lulling back as she enjoyed each note. With each bite she swore she could taste something more: the tartness of the cranberry, a little hint of citrus and then a hint of rosemary too. It was unlike anything she could have imagined – and Mikko seemed to enjoy it too, as he licked the last morsel of cheese cake off his thumb. 

“That was,” Lucy breathed out. 

“Incredible,” Mikko finished her words, Lucy could only hum in agreement, as she sat there her eyes shut as the relished in the flavors that lingered on her tongue. 

She sat there in the darkness of her mind for so long that she didn’t notice when the server returned with the bill.  The bill that Mikko paid for in full without even questioning her. 

“Hey,” Lucy half snapped, “you didn’t have to do that.” 

“I know,” Mikko nodded, his smile a little bigger now as she stood up from the table and offered her his hand. 

Lucy took it carefully, her mind screaming this is not a date at her as she maintained her casual composure. She followed Mikke through the restaurant, the crowd thinning as it grew closer and closer to the closing team. He led her out into the street that was left cold and quiet in the night. 

They walked together under the glow of the street lights, his hand never leaving hers as he walked her back towards the rental car they had arrived in. When they reached it, they stood together by the passenger side. She wondered for a moment if he was going to open the door for her. But then he stepped a little closer… a little too close. 

Mikko opened his mouth. Then shut it again his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed back any words he had thought to say, and then when Lucy thought nothing would come, Mikko found his words. 

“This is the first time since I arrived in Raleigh,” his words were so quiet they were almost lost in the rush of a car as it drove down the street. Lucy had to lean into him at a dangerous proximity just to hear him. “This is the first time that I haven’t felt alone, and it’s because of you, Lulu.”

Her new nickname hits her like a strong wind over her face. Lucy felt like she was suffocating as she stood there, her hand squeezing his just a little tighter suddenly worried that he might come to his senses and  pull away. But he didn’t. Mikko only flexed his hand around her in return, giving it a reassuring squeeze before he used that comforting hold to draw her in. 

They met at the lips, Lucy having to press up on her toes just to meet him. She had never considered herself short, but Mikko, he made her feel small for the first time in as long as she could remember. 

Mikko’s hand fell from hers slowly, only to find the curve of her waist and hold her to him as he kissed her. It was a slow, tentative kiss. Not frantic or hungry, but cautious as Lucy kissed him back. 

She knew it was a bad idea. Having dinner with Mikko toed the line, but kissing him? It was far from professional. It wasn’t smart, and if anyone ever found out, it would surely cost Lucy her job. But Lucy couldn’t bring herself to pull away. 

Lucy could only cling to him, her hands clutching to the fabric of his shirt as her lips parted. She breathed in the taste of him, the lingering flavors of cranberry and gin sending a shiver through her body. It started in her spin, sending a radiating heat from her core to the tips of her fingers and toes. The feeling left her gasping against Mikko’s lips, her heart racing as she pulled back just enough to glance up at him. 

It had been a long time since anyone had made her feel the wav he had, and she couldn’t help but feel that alcohol might have been the driver behind it all. She had three drinks of her own, but she had always held her liquor well, but she didn’t know how Mikko had fared. He had four drinks of his own, so he had to be intoxicated, right? She squinted against the bright light of the street light that was lit behind him like a halo, her eyes searching for any indication that Mikko wasn’t sober. But what she found was a man looking at her with bedroom eyes and a soft smile. 

“Come back to my hotel with me?” Mikko asked, his tone almost pleading. 

He didn’t want to be alone. 

The realization made her chest ache. Mikko had arrived in Raleigh days ago. He had only played four games with a team of strangers, and for whatever reason Mikko failed to find solace in the locker room. But he seemed to have found it with her. 

Lucy refused to let him go. 

“Yeah, okay” Lucy breathed out, her hand slipping away from the grasp they had on his shirt. “I’ve got nowhere to be tomorrow.”

Mikko’s hands fell away from her body, and for the first time that night Lucy realized just how cold it was. Her arms coiled around her chest, trying to keep the warmth of his body from leaving her completely as he stepped back and opened the passenger side door for her. 

They drove back to his hotel in silence. The air was thick with words left unspoken, but things didn’t feel heavy. Mikko was relaxed behind the wheel, one hand on the wheel as the other casually dropped to rest on her knee. It was the most relaxed Lucy had seen him since he had arrived, and she could do nothing but stare. His comfort and ease was magnetic, attractive and it lured her all the way back to his hotel room. 

Mikko led her by the hand, his soft gaze cast over his shoulder as he led her to the foot of the bed that hadn’t been touched since housekeeping had made it. His stare lingered, on her face, and she couldn’t help but wonder what he was looking for. Approval? Excitement? Panic, maybe? 

But he saw nothing but stoic calmness on her features. It was a practiced look, one she had mastered back in high school when her friends would give her compliments disgusted as insults. It wasn’t the feeling of hurt that she was masking this time. Instead she was concealing so much more. 

Eagerness. 

Uncertainty. 

Insecurity. 

They were all so consuming, Lucy was sure Mikko could feel her hands tremble in his. He held them until he sat down at the end of the bed, the bed sinking under his weight as he made himself comfortable there. Then, his touch settled on the swell of her hips, stoking over them as his fingers teased the waist of her jeans that felt a little too tight after dinner.

Lucy held her breath as his fingers came to pinch at each side of the button fly. 

“Can I?” Mikko asked, his voice so deep she almost hadn’t heard him. 

Lucy nodded quickly before her better judgment could threaten to take her. She bit back the sigh of relief that came with them being undone, their impression left behind across her belly and thighs. Lucy squirmed in place, pressing her thighs firm together before relaxing at the feeling of him dragging the fabric down her legs slowly. The fabric teased her skin on the way down, sending her head lulling back and her eyes fell shut as it hit the ground in a heap around her ankles.  

When she moved to step out of them, her loafers fell from her feet, and she moved to stand right beside the clothes Mikko had discarded. Instead, his hands were on her hips, hiding her to straddle one of his thighs. 

“Mikko I-” She started to protest, but was cut off by the hunger of his lips.

The tension of her body was eased by the lack of caution in his kiss. She was left melting down against his thigh as she tasted his tongue in her mouth as it stroked along her own. No one had ever kissed her like that. 

Like she wasn’t the last resort when all of her better looking friends already had someone to go home with – Like he really wanted to. 

Gasping she drew back, her hands finding his cheeks to cradle. Lucy forced him to look at her – to really look at her – to see her for who she was. Not only the team’s dietician, but the girl that too often skipped breakfast because of her own haunting words of insecurity in her head. 

She wasn’t skinny. 

She wasn’t blonde. 

She was nothing like any of the other hockey wives or girlfriends she had ever seen parading around Lenovo Centre. And while she didn’t think that would ever be a possibility for her – for them – she didn’t want Mikko to regret a night in bed with her... Because she didn’t think she could handle the rejection that would come after.  

“Are you sure?” She asked him slowly, her stomach jumping up into her throat. 

Mikko didn’t answer with his words. Instead, he held her stare as his hands settled on her hips. He gripped the soft flesh there tight, slowly hiding her along the strength of his thigh. 

Lucy’s lips parted in a gasp. The cotton of her patties tugged back and forth with the movement, as he guided her cunt over his flexed quad. His hands remained on her hips, his fingers pressing into the flesh of her ass, only until he knew she had fallen into the rhythm all on her own. Then, his hands found her face again, guiding her lips back into his. 

He was kissing her slowly, almost teasingly. And only did he stop when Lucy let out her first moan. She had tried to swallow it, but her panties had caught, and the harshness of his denim jeans against her clit had been too much for her to contain. 

“Keep going,” he encouraged, “you sound so pretty when you like something.”

Lucy watched him through thick lashes, fighting to keep her eyes open as she dragged her core up and down the expanse of his thigh. She could feel her thighs beginning to ache – so close to trembling – and her core felt weak, already so close to coming. 

She fought it off with a deep breath, only to be pushed right back to the edge as Mikko slipped a single finger into her panties. It struck her clit, sending a shock through her body, but it didn’t stay there. He dragged her panties to the side carefully, leaving her bare cunt to drag over his leg. 

Mikko leaned back slowly, propped up on his elbows as his eyes feasted on the sight of her. 

She could feel her arousal soaking into his jeans, and she was sure he could too. 

“You’re fucking beautiful,” Mikko cuased and it stilled her. 

She couldn’t have heard that right. 

“What?” her word was a barely audible gasp as Mikko sat up so effortlessly her own abs hurt. 

Fuck, it must have been nice to be built like a fucking god. 

“You, Lucy,” Mikko hummed, his hands finding her hips again, “are beautiful. You don’t hear that enough, do you?” 

Lucy could only shake her head as Mikko guided her up off his thigh, and lay her out on the bed. Slowly, he lowered himself down on the bed between her legs, a smile on his lips as he placed a kiss to the inside of her thigh. 

“Let me show you, yes?”

“Yes,” Lucy gasped weakly as he placed another, sloppier, opened mouth kiss on her upper thigh. 

Mikko kissed his way up to the apex between her thighs. Then her legs began to truly tremble. It was enough to make her whine as she reached out with both hands to knit in his thick golden curls. 

Her touch drew Mikko in closer, his hot breath blossoming over her sweet, glistening core just long enough for it to throb with desperation. Then, as if he could feel her desperation coursing through her veins, he knocked her legs open and indulged in the very taste of her. Mikko’s face was buried there, his tongue parting her before delving inside her. 

Lucy hissed through her teeth, her hands guiding him to just the right spot. She tested him with the simple roll of her hips, and helmet her. She ground against her mouth and tongue, the pleasure slowly beginning to pulse through her. So close to falling over the edge of her climax only for Mikko to pull back.

He could feel it, the gentle throbbing of her core. She knew he had to. Because he was teasing her now. 

Mikko wanted her to come. 

He wanted to make her come. 

But it would need to be on his cock. 

The bed felt lighter as he pushed himself off it, disappearing into the bathroom for a moment. She could hear him rustling through a bag in the next room. When he returned he was completely naked, with a condom already stretched out over his impressive cock – hell, what about him wasn’t impressive?

Slowly, he crawled up the length of the bed until he was hovering over her. One hand rested on each side of her head, and she watched as the muscles of his shoulders flexed. He was so strong, so built, that in that moment she admired him – trying to ignore the feeling of his cock dragging over her thigh – he made her feel small. 

Mikko noticed, and he smiled, his lips and chin left  slick with saliva and with her. 

He held her gaze as he reached down between them, two thick fingers pressing against her clit. It left her moaning as they moved in a slow, agonizing circle, and he swallowed the sound in a kiss. Her self heaved as his fingers parted her, clearing the way for his cock. Her pleasure coiled deep in her belly, his skin glistening with perspiration and leaving her desperate to pull off her own blouse. 

She tugged at the fabric as she threw her head back against the pillows. Her eyes shut tight as she fidgeted with each too-tiny button only for them all to be free with one calculated pull from Mikko’s hands. 

He freed her from the confines of her shirt, and tugged down the cups of her bra with one hand. It sat awkwardly on her rib cage as he watched her breasts quake with his every thrust. Mikko watched them with a sparkle in his eyes, and he spoke out a string of words she would never understand. 

Her body. The pleasure of feeling her around him, had reduced Mikko back to his mother tongue. 

Lucy melted away beneath him, her legs intertwined with his holding him in place when she was sure he wanted to lean in and devour her breast – but she was so close now, she wasn’t going to let him edge her again. 

Reaching her arms around him, she anchored herself on the strength of his shoulders. Her nails dug into their strength, leaving a small crescent behind as the roll of his hips became more desperate. 

She met his every movement, and it left her trembling as her climax throbbed through her. Her head leaned back in a moan that left her throat raw, but Mikko drew her back in,his fingers knotting in her short dark hair as he guided her face into the crook of his neck. She kissed it slowly, her tongue stroking alone it’s angry before she moaned again. 

Then, she felt him angle his face just right, burying it into her hair. She felt his every breath as it hastened. He thrust deeper, faster, desperately, until his cock throbbed and he stilled deep inside her, the only thing separating him from the deepest parts of her a thin layer of latex. 

Lucy was left breathless when they were through, sprawled out on the bed. Tired, happy, but not quite smiling. 

Mikko eased himself from her slowly, but he didn’t go far. He just rolled over, occupying the bed beside her, and just watched her. His sartre was dreaming, and his smile was soft. 

Suddenly, Lucy was self conscious. 

Reaching out for the top sheet, Lucy draped it over her body carefully. It hid the blouse that she would never get to wear again unless she fixed the button. It hid the bra that now hung low, just beneath her breasts, and how her panties were still on, completely soaked but tucked up between one of her thighs and her pelvis. He had seemed to want her so desperately, yet, she couldn’t rid herself of the heavy feeling in her chest. 

“Mikko,” she croaked, “do you really think I’m beautiful?”

Mikko sat up slowly as he reached out with both hands. He helped her out of her blouse slowly. Then he peeled off her bra before slipping down the length of the bed to tug off her panties. He left her completely naked – vulnerable – in her bed, and kissed his way back up her body before he found her lips in a simple kiss. 

“Absolutely, I do,” Mikko assured her, and then he was gone. 

Lucy just lay there in his bed, listening to Mikko as he moved around the hotel room. She didn’t know what exactly he was doing, she didn’t think to look, but then she heard the subtle click of the light switch, and he was crawling back into the bed right next to her. 

She cuddled in close to him, her head on his chest as she looked across at the bright glow of the hotel room clock. She let herself smile softly, feeling special for the first time in a long time. And the best part? She didn’t have to be up early for work in the morning. 

***

March 6th, 2025

The hotel room had long stopped feeling temporary. If anything, it became Lucy’s second home as she sat cross-legged on Mikko’s bed with her laptop balanced on her bare thighs. The screen was glowing softly in the dim light as she scrolled through real estate listings. Scattered all around the room were little glimmers of her life that had crept their way into Mikko’s hotel room that felt a little more like an apartment. 

On the windowsill was a plant that she purchased at a local farmers market that never made it back home. In the corner of the room was a pile of dirty laundry that continued to grow as – as her clothes were always replaced by one of his t-shirts that fit just right. She kept telling herself she at the very least needed to stuff it in a bag in the back seat of her car. Her half-finished smoothie was on the nightstand, forming a ring of condensation where it sat, and her cardigan was draped over the back of the desk chair like she lived there.

And in some ways, maybe she did. 

“Can you pass me the laptop charger, it’s just there,” Lucy pointed to the bedside table as her laptop gave her the error message that her battery was about to die. 

The bed shifted as Mikko sprawled out across the bed for the charger, and when he rolled over to hand it to her, he placed a simple kiss on her shoulder. 

“Looking at real estate again?” Mikko asked. 

His question was a heavy sigh, but it didn’t phase her. They had been inseparable since the beginning of February and she had heard him sigh many times before. He sighed when the hotel bed was too hard, and the pillow too soft. After a tough game, and he reached out over the centre console to drive back to the hotel with his hand on her knee, he would sigh too. But her favorite sighs that she had heard were when he was between her thighs. 

“Just checking to see if there is anything new,” Lucy said.

Casually, Lucy scrolled to the top of the page where the new listing had been. “I book marked a few not too far from the area if you want to take a–”

Mikko’s phone vibrated on the nightstand. He was quick to answer, sitting arched over at the bedside before he stood, mouthing, “one sec.”

Lucy nodded, watching from the corner of her eyes as he disappeared into the bathroom. She didn’t follow him. She didn’t listen. Didn’t eavesdrop.  She just kept scrolling though the listings, his voice low and quiet in the next room. 

When he returned a few minutes later, he offered her nothing more than a soft smile. 

No reason, or explanation for the late night phone call as he crawled into bed. 

Lucy didn’t press. She wanted to, but she couldn’t. 

Whatever the phone called entailed, it was private. And she wasn’t privy to anything like that. She wasn’t his wife, or his girlfriend. She didn’t know what she was. 

“You ready for bed, Lulu?” Mikko asked slowly, his hand brushing over her bare knee slowly to make sure he had her attention. 

“You don’t want to take a look at this one?” Lucy countered, “Three-bedroom in North Hills. Could walk to the market and has a big kitchen–”

Mikko rolled over slowly so that his back was to her and away from the glowing light of the screen. He didn’t look at the house, or at her. 

He was quiet. Tired, maybe. But completely uninterested in the houses she had saved to show him. 

“I have an early start tomorrow,” Mikko mumbled, his face half squished into the pillow. “Lay with me?”

Lucy closed her laptop slowly, and placed it down on the bed side table before reaching out and turning off the lights. In the cover of darkness, she crawled under the covers and settled in behind him. Her body formed to his so casually, her cheek coming to rest on the strength of his back as her knees tucked in behind his. Her arm lay lazily over his middle, and the blanket rustled as his hand found hers beneath the blanket. He stroked it slowly with his thumb before upbringing it up to his lips in a sweet kiss. 

“Goodnight, Lulu,” he hummed. 

“Night,” Lucy answered, but she didn’t sleep. Not right away. 

Instead, she lay there watching as his body rocked with his every deep and even breath. She admired how his blonde hair curled against the pillow, and swallowed back a sigh as he rolled over and consumed her in a strong embrace. 

Mikko held her close, his touch enough to ease her mind and lull her to sleep. 

***

March 7th, 2025 

Mikko was still holding her when her alarm went off at five the next morning. It was a time she loathed waking up, but was essential when she knew she had to make multiple stops on her way to the rink. 

Carefully, she eased Mikko’s heavy arm off her. She didn’t know what he deemed an early start, but she didn’t want to wake him before his own alarm went off. 

She moved through the room slowly. Gathering her dirty clothes that she knew needed washing, and her bag, before she snuck out the door. 

Lucy made two stops before going to the arena. First, was to her apartment where her house plants were wilting and her bed was still made. She tossed her dirty laundry on the foot of the bed before pulling open her half-empty closet. If she wanted to wear anything presentable she needed to do laundry. It took two hours to run the washer and the dryer. And while that annoyed her, it gave her time to hop in the shower before dressing in her clean clothes. Her second stop was the little cafe down the block from her apartment. 

It was after nine when Lucy walked into Lenovo Centre with her purse in one hand and her coffee in the other. Her hair was still wet and her makeup was not done. She would do it at her desk before the rest of the staff got in and her day got busy. 

The arena felt colder than usual. 

It left Lucy tugging her coat a little tighter around her shoulders as she slipped inside the staff entrance. Her sneakers squeaked against the freshly mopped floors as she navigated the familiar path to her office. She could hear the hum of the zamboni in the distance as the ice was prepped for the optional practice that day. She knew not many would take it, because it was trade deadline day. 

While most players would be at home with their families hoping not to get a phone call from their agent, Lucy would be hiding in her office and waiting for emails to come her way about onboarding and forwarding player files to their new teams. 

The first notification came around when she had finished fixing her makeup in reflection of her own webcam. The team had received Mark Jankowski from the Nashville Predators in exchange for a 5th round pick. Which made her job easy. She would receive and review his files by the end of the day, and she didn’t have to rush to send anything off. 

With each passing out, the day felt more and more like a day she was going to spend catching up on emails. That was until four in the afternoon, when she was slowly beginning to pack things away. The chime of an email arriving in her inbox almost made her jump. 

The subject of the new email was in bold, highlighting its importance: WELCOME LOGAN STANKOVEN.

The contents of the email directed to her were brief: Start onboarding ASAP. 

Lucy exhaled, her fingers reaching up to push through her messy hair as she tried to remember where she had heard that name before. It took her a moment before it hit her. Logan Stankoven was one of the Dallas Stars rookie players. From what she could remember he was fast, skilled. He was a great acquisition for the Canes who liked to play smart and fast hockey. But at what cost? 

She scrolled through the email again. Looking for a name or draft pick to jump out at her, but found nothing. There was no note. No Memo. No explanation for what they lost. 

Her stomach twisted. 

She reached for her laptop, and opened X with a single click. As trash as the app was, it was always the easiest to find the latest hockey news right from the source or from a hockey insider. She chewed her cheek nervously as she scrolled, trying to find the breaking headline she was sure to see. 

Then, there it was, right from the Dallas Stars themselves:

Lucy stared at the post, reading it over and over again until her eyes burned and her vision was blurred by tears. She blinked hard, trying to rid them from her eyes to clear her vision. As if then she would see the post for what it really said, and not as she imagined it. She wiped her eyes with her fists and it all came into focus. What she thought she imagined, was reality. 

Mikko was gone.

Shoving her chair back, Lucy stood, and made her way door the corridors to the locker room. With each step she prayed that she heard something, anything, to indicate that maybe he was still there. But when she peaked her head inside, the room was completely empty. 

Lucy looked up and down the corridor once before slipping inside. Her steps were small as she shuffled her way to the empty stall that was once Mikkos. His gear was gone, and his nameplate removed. She could already see Roslivic’s nameplate had returned to bear the number 96 as if Mikko hadn’t been there at all. 

All that remained in his stall was what he left for her; her small potted plant and her laptop. 

She grabbed it quickly, hoping no one had seen it there before she could grab it. It wouldn’t have been hard to explain – she had always been a good liar – but she didn’t know if she could. Not now. Not when she was so close to tears. 

She choked them back with an ease that came with many years of practice. She held her laptop to her chest, and cradled the plant in one hand as she carried them back to her office where she would prepare the onboarding for their newest member. 

But for hours, all she could do was sit there. The glow of her computer screen illuminating her face as she just stared at the potted plant on her desk and asked herself how she could let herself get in over her head. 

He was just a player. 

They were never anything serious. 

Yet, her heart was breaking. 

Because it wasn’t just a trade; it was an ending she never saw coming. 

***

Rantanen traded to stars by Hurricanes, signs 9-year, $96 millon contract  – Carolina unable to sign forward after acquiring him from Avalanche in January; gets Stankoven, picks…

***

March 8th, 2025

The plane hit the tarmac hard, sending a jolt through Mikko’s body and pulling him from his sleep. His neck ached from how it had been angled for the majority of his three hour flight from Montreal – and the rest of his body ached from his day of traveling from Raleigh to Montreal to Edmonton. He had spent the entirety of his day in the air or at airports just to make sure he could meet his new team before their next game. 

Edmonton wasn’t his new home, but meeting Dallas there filled Mikko with an excitement he hadn’t felt in a long time. 

This trade was different. 

This trade wasn’t him getting cast aside by a team that felt more like a family than a career. He got to influence where he went – back to the West Coast – with a team that wanted to sign him long term. And they had, Dallas would be his home for 8 years and his first game was mere hours away. 

He kept his headphones on and his head down as he moved with the crowd off the flight and to the baggage claim where his gear, hockey sticks and his life that was packed into a single suitcase waited for him. Everything else was scattered between Denver and Raleigh, or was boxed up en route to Dallas. 

Mikko’s hand flexed around the handle of his bag, his palm sweating at the thought of dawning victory green for the first time against Edmonton. They were more than just rivals. Edmonton had knocked Dallas out of the playoffs the season before, The game was going to be an all out war leading up to the Stanley Cup Playoffs where a rematch was a likely possibility. 

This year, he was going to be the difference maker. 

The weight of the fresh start was heavy on his chest. It wasn’t just what the reporters and the team that expected of him, but what he expected of himself. While he knew he would need to earn it, he wanted to be a voice in the locker room and the bench. Someone other players looked to for leadership and as a friend. He wanted to get pucks to the net, and his name on the score sheet. But most of all, he was going to matter again. 

***

The locker room buzzed with shouting voices and the clatter of sticks as the team lined up in the tunnel, preparing to take the ice in Edmonton. The logo on his chest was different now – the star of Dallas stretched across it, and for a second he looked down and stared. Breathing in, he took in a heavy breath, his hand reaching up to tug at the jersey collar that felt tight around his throat. He was nervous, superstitious maybe, his mind lingering on everything that had gone wrong since he arrived at Rogers place. 

When he first arrived, he had met with the equipment manager to talk about his gloves, and how they needed to be just right. Yet, they still felt damp after warmups. He would already need them replaced again. 

And his pregame meal? Chicken, rice and vegetables were prepared by the caterer. It was all textbook, covering everything he would need going into a game. But the rice was salty, and the chicken was bland and dry. He had to choke it down before he gave up on finishing it. 

Then he had tried to make a smoothie, just like Lulu used to make, but the blender had given him a dark green sludge that tasted more like vegetables than the banana, and peanut butter he craved before the game. 

It left Mikko’s jaw clenched and stomach growling. 

Lulu wouldn't have screwed it up. 

Not his dinner. 

And definitely not the smoothie. 

Lulu lingered in the back of his mind as he stepped out on the ice, the roar of the crowd sending a rush of adrenaline through him, but there was no ignoring the ache that he felt deep in his chest. 

It lingered there until the final seconds of the 3rd period, when he had an assist on the score sheet but the team still lost to Edmonton 5-4. 

Mikko had done what he wanted to do, he’d shown up and had already begun to prove that the trade to Dallas wasn’t a mistake. It was a good first game – but he missed her anyway.

***

March 9th, 2025

After the plane had touched down in Vancouver,and the team had loaded up into the bus that would take them to the hotel, Mikko pulled out his phone for the first time since he had arrived in Edmonton.  The bright light contrasted the dark sky that consumed Vancouver in the blackness of night. It left Mikko squinting as he scrolled through the series of notifications – congratulations from friends, family and former teammates – but he was looking for one. 

A message that he didn’t deserve but hoped for. 

A text message from Lucy. 

The airbreaks of the bus hissed as they arrived at their hotel, and Mikko quickly shoved his phone into his pocket and threw his bag over his duffle bag over his shoulder. He shuffled off with the rest of the team, and listened to their tired chatter, to distract his mind from Lucy. The Captain, Jaime Benn was talking about a breakfast reservation for the team the next morning at one of his favorite brunch stops. Everyone was welcome, but not all heard the invitation that would surely be sent out as a text later, because the rookies were talking about Call of Duty – or maybe it was Fortnite, Mikko couldn’t really tell but it was some sort of video game. He should have eavesdropped. He should have indulged in conversation with one of the other Finnish players that instantly made the team feel a little more like home. But the thought of her was loud, screaming - craving to hear from her. 

After their night in his hotel room back in February, they had messaged each other every day. The two of them talked about everything from work to casual conversation that wasn’t all that casual now that he thought about it. He had clung to her in Carolina with the Hurricanes. She was his lifeline while he waited out the storm that was playing for a team he didn’t feel at home with. 

He had told himself it wasn’t anything serious, and it couldn’t be. Not when she was a player, and she worked for the team – but he wasn’t a member of the Carolina Hurricanes anymore… and he missed Lucy more than he thought he would. 

When he got the hotel room that he would be sharing with Roope Hints, Mikko dropped his things to the floor with a quiet thud. He had to remind himself it was just for the night when he looked around and saw the nearly identical layout as the hotel room back in Raleigh. Worst of all, it had the same smell: harsh chemicals mixed with the awful air freshener they used to try to mask it. 

The smell made his head hurt as he pulled off his sweatshirt and disappeared into the bathroom to wash up before bed. He brushed his teeth and splashed his face with cool water before slipping himself into something more comfortable. And when he returned to the main room, he crawled right into bed and turned off the bedside table light beside him – cutting off any opportunity for small talk before bed. 

Mikko lay there in silence, listening to Roope as he disappeared into the bathroom. He lay with his eyes closed, hearing the sound of the rushing water, and the light of the bathroom as it was flicked off. Roope’s footsteps were soft against the carpeted floor as he passed the foot of the bed and climbed into the second queen sized bed in the room. Then he waited, until the room was pitch black and all that could be heard was the rookies being too loud next door and Roope’s soft breathing. 

He was asleep. 

Mikko ran his hand slowly over the surface of the bed where Lucy would be sleeping if he had been back in Raleigh. His fingers strained against the cool fabric until he found his phone lost among the wrinkles of the duvet. 

He should have been more prepared for the screen's blinding light, but he was left flinching back at its intensity as his thumbs dragged over the screen, navigating its way to his text messages with Lucy. His eyes fixated on the last message they had exchanged, and suddenly his chest was tight.

Taking in a long inhale, Mikko tried to rid himself of the aching guilt that consumed him there. It twisted sharply like a knife because he knew he should have told her he was leaving because he knew. He knew the moment he saw his agent’s name on his call display as he sat right beside her in the hotel bed that he would be leaving. And when he left the bathroom, after their brief conversation, he knew where he was going. They were just waiting on the paper work, and the return. He should have warned her then instead of leaving her to see it on the team’s social media announcement like everyone else. 

What he felt though, wasn’t just guilt. It was something else too. Regret that he hadn’t said goodbye to her  before he left for the airport. And maybe, just maybe, he was grieving the thought of truly losing her and leaving the one good thing about Raleigh forever. 

Three dots appeared. Then, they disappeared. A minute passed, and his lungs burned as he held his breath. Waiting as they reappeared again. Lucy was going to reply.

He stared at the message until his screen dimmed. 

His heart sank as he typed something, only to delete it again. Mikko did this three times before he settled on something he was sure she would reply to. But when he hit send, Lucy didn’t reply. 

There were no dots. No reply. Just the small message below his own text: READ.

***

Edmonton Oilers vs Dallas StarsConference Final

Mikko sat at his stall in the dressing room, his hair sweat drenched from warmups sticking to his forehead as his head hung low on his shoulders. Around him, the team was loud as they hyped themselves up for game time. Some shouted, others jumped from one skate blade to the others, and the coach would be giving his pregame speech soon. There was chaos around him, but Mikko was focused on nothing but the tapping of his stick on the ground in front of him. 

It was game five. The stars were down in the series 4-1. If they lost tonight, they would be eliminated and his dream of winning a second Stanley cup would be over. 

Yet, all he could think about was the first game he had played with Dallas. It had been against Edmonton, but at Roger’s Palace. They had lost 5-4. He hadn’t performed the way he would have liked to that game, but since then? He had found himself again. 

And they were playing in Dallas now. 

They had home ice advantage. 

Dallas as a city and a team felt like home faster than expected. And with that comfort, he found his game again. In the playoffs alone he had twenty-one points in seventeen games, and he had been the reason they had won games they should have lost.  

They had beat his former team, Colorado in seven games. 

It had only taken six to beat Winnipeg. 

They wouldn’t be winning the series against Edmonton that night, but Mikko was determined for the series not to end. Not with them on the losing side. 

The coach finished his pregame speech and the locker room erupted into hoots and hollers as they all got to their feet and fell into a line. 

Adrenaline hit him like a wave, all consuming, almost suffocating as they made their way out towards the arena. The building seemed to rumble with the excitement of the crowd. If it were any other team, their confidence would have waivered, but Dallas was resilient. The voice of their Captain giving one last shout of encouragement was almost lost in the crowd's cheers as the team erupted from the tunnel and took to the ice. 

The lights were low as they sang both the American and Canadian national anthems, the adrenaline keeping him on his toes as the bright colored lances danced over the crowd, sending them a glow in victory green. When the lights went up, the fans roared louder than when they had arrived. 

They had to prove that they deserved to be in this series. That while Hintz was hiding the limp that game with breaking his foot, and Seguin was playing with an injured shoulder, that they were the tough team in this series. And Mikko? He could take the weight of carrying them to victory if he had to.

He was fighting just like the rest of them. 

This was his team. 

Not Colorado. 

Not Carolina. 

Dallas. 

He would prove that they made the right call trading for him.

They had to win. 

***

When the final horn sounded in American Airlines Center, Mikko skated right to the board by the bench and bent over it. His mouthguard hung loose from his lips, and his eyes were shut in a long, tired blink to keep himself from looking back at the ice. 

Behind him, the entire Edmonton Oilers bench had exploded onto the ice. They had won the game 6-3, sending them back to the Stanley cup final for the second time in two years. 

And his season was officially over. 

Mikko had done everything he could - his name on the score sheet again as he assisted on Jason Robertson’s goal midway through the third period. But it hadn’t been enough. Not when the goalie got pulled – not when everything that could have gone wrong seemed to all at once. 

The handshake line was a blur, his sportsmanship something done out of habit as he wished McDavid, Draisaitl and the rest luck in the finals. What they said to him, didn’t register. 

His mind was already lost as he walked back to the locker room, removing his gear out of muscle memory in a solemn silence. Mikko skipped the shower, choosing to get dressed sweaty in his suit just to go home. As he pulled on his pants he could already feel the vibration of his phone in his pocket. One notification after the next. He ignored them until he was seated in the front seat of his car, his head leaning back against his seat. 

Exhausted. 

Defeated. 

He read through each painful media notification of their loss, looking for one thing. 

A message from Lucy.

But there was nothing there.

He thumbed open the last conversation they shared. The one she had left on read for months. Mikko kept telling himself he would try again.

Tomorrow. 

Next week. 

After the playoff. 

He had no excuses now that his season was over. But he didn’t know what he could say. There were no words that he could say to justify what he had done. Even as they had lost, Mikko didn’t regret the trade. Or the extension. But he did regret one thing. 

Only One.

***

Stars stung by 3rd straight exit in Western Final with Game 5 loss – Can’t catch up to Oilers in 4 straight losses to end season

***

One Month Later… 

Craning her neck to the side, Lucy sandwiched her phone between her cheek and her ear and welcomed the worried tone of her best friend, Piper. While Piper was already at the airport drinking her overpriced coffee waiting for their flight to Cuba to board, Lucy was staring at a bottle of sun screen wondering if it would make it through security. She shook it in her hands, contemplating leaving it behind, before tossing it in a Ziplock bag with the rest of her questionable “liquid” items. Then she tossed it in her bag that was still open on her bed, spilling over with too many swim suits, linen dresses and the kind of sandals she was already regretting bringing but knew they would look amazing in her vacation photos. 

“I know I'm late,” Lucy groaned into the phone, hoping she might accidentally hang up on Piper's unimpressed hum as she flipped her suitcase closed and pressed it down to antiseptic the zipper along its track. “But I'll be there. My Uber is almost here – just don't board without me!” 

Piper's laughter echoed through the phone, “By the time you get here, I'll be on the beach at the resort drinking a Margarita. Because the traffic to get here was hell, babes.” 

Lucy cursed under her breath as she dragged her suitcase with two hands towards the door. “I’m gonna be there, P,” Lucy assured as she turned her door handle just enough to pull it from its hinge. She kicked her foot inside. And use it to pull the door open as she lunged for her sunglasses on the table by the front door and it left her stumbling out into the hallway and right into a moose of a human being. 

Her phone dropped, but her gaze traced up a familiar, muscular silhouette. 

“Mikko?” 

Lucy stood frozen in the hallway, eyes wide and her heart pounding so hard in her ears that she almost could hear Piper calling out to her from the floor where her phone rested face down against the carpet. 

Mikko looked taller than she remembered, or maybe it was just the way he filled up the narrow hallway, looking so out of place in a space she never expected to see him. She had never invited him back to her place, they had always gone back to the hotel. Yet, there he was, with his messy blonde curls and soft blue eyes gazing at her just as they had the night before he left Raleigh – and it hit her. 

He knew.

He just couldn’t bring himself to tell her. 

Her stomach suddenly felt heavy as she knelt down, picking up her phone from the floor and muttering a quick, “I’ll have to call you back,” before hanging up.  

Lucy looked up at him, a heavy silence falling between them. Even after coming all the way to the door, Mikko seemed to struggle to find the words he wanted to say – and that hurt her more than him not telling her at all. 

“I have a flight to catch,” Lucy bit out in a strong moment of self confidence that wavered when Mikko finally spoke. 

“I only need five minutes to explain,” his words were quick, natural, as if he had practiced begging her for just a minute of her time on the drive over. 

Lucy hesitated, her hand clutching the handle of her suitcase so hard it made her palm ache. She had already been given a minute too many, and when she thought she found the strength to walk away, she nodded. 

Lucy needed to hear what Mikko had to say. 

“I should have told you I was leaving,” Mikko started, his voice wavering as he reached up to wipe the sweat from his brown. 

Lucy couldn’t help but wonder if it was because he was nervous, or if it was just from how hot it was outside. 

“I never wanted to leave Colorado… and I never wanted to play for Carolina. I was never going to stay,” Mikko could barely meet her eyes as he spoke. But when he paused, his shoulder shaking with a deep inhale, they found her and Lucy could see the pain he had in them. They were heavy with the weight of what he had done, and so glossy he thought he might be holding back tears while her stomach felt as if a blade had been shoved right into it and twisted with his every word. 

“I led you on,” he added, his tongue slipping out from his perfect lip to run over his lower lip, “but only about the team. Not about us. I didn’t know what we were, or how to say goodbye to you, because I don’t think you really knew what we were either. And I-” his words caught trying to force out all of what he needed today before she decided his time was up, “And I couldn’t say all I needed to say over a text, because it wouldn’t have been right, and I don’t think you would have believed me.”

“I still don’t understand what you’re trying to say,” Lucy countered, her hand falling to raise on the swell of her hip as her eyes glanced down at her phone to check the time – worried that her Uber driver would have fully given up on her. 

“I care about you-”

Lucy’s breath caught. 

“I knew it when I left,” his voice was soft, “I mean, I must have felt it before. But when I got to Edmonton, Vancouver and all the way back in Dallas. I couldn’t sleep. And I know now that the reason was you.”

Lucy’s eyes burned as tears threatened to spill. She had been feeling so many emotions that she couldn’t fathom how to reply to what she just heard. She hated that he had kept leaving Raleigh from her. That he lied about staying in Carolina for so long that she still was clearing real estate ads from her browsing history. And she hated that he cared, because she cared for him too. 

It would be so much easier to forget the pain he had put her through if she had never cared. 

Instead of telling him how she felt, Lucy’s mind focused on the one thing she knew how to put into words at that moment. “I have a plane to catch.”

“Okay,” Mikko nodded. If her aversion to his confessions hurt him, he didn’t show it. Instead, he smiled softly as he reached for her bag and spoke without hesitation. “I’ll drive you.”

***

The drive to the airport was quiet, the only conversation made through lingering glances. Even when stuck in traffic – when her mind and heart racing because of the sheer presence of him – she couldn’t find anything to say. Instead, she sat with her hands clasped in her lap, her eyes stealing glances when she thought his eyes would be fixated on the road. But at stop lights, or when they were left kissing the bumper of the car in front of them, she would catch his eyes lingering on her just long enough for the corner of his lips to form a soft smile. 

When they pulled up to departures, Lucy got out of the car before he could even think about saying goodbye. She pulled open the back seat, grabbed her bags as if her flight was going to take off any minutes without her – because she knew it was – and turned on her heels to make a run for it. 

A run for the plan and away from facing the reality that was Mikko flying all the way to Carolina. For her. 

But then she froze. Hesitation holding her in place on the curb. Her luggage fell from her hold, clamoring against the ground as she turned to face Mikko. He was standing just outside the driver’s side door, his arm slung over the driver’s side door as he watched her. 

Then, before her brain could register what she was doing, Lucy stepped off the curb. Quick steps carried her around the car rushing right to him. Her arms stretched out, wrapping around Mikko’s neck as he leaned in to meet her. Their lips met in a firm kiss. One that was deep, and quick, and desperate to make up for the too many days they had spent apart – and all the mistakes that were made. His arm wrapped around her, his large hands splaying over her back as if he could draw her in any closer. And the tears she had been holding back, were finally slipping down her cheeks. 

When they both finally pulled back, Lucy was clinging to him. Not ready to let go. Not yet. Not when there was so much left to be said. 

“When do you get back?” he asked slowly. 

“In a week,” she whispered. 

“When you do…” he spoke slowly, cautiously, “I’d like to pay for you to come visit me in Dallas.”

She nodded slowly, her face nuzzled into the crook of his neck just a little closer. 

“And until then, I’ll call you? You’ll answer?””

“Yeah, I will,” she assured. 

“Good,” Mikko sighed, a smile tugging wider, “Because if I’m going to convince you to come to Dallas with me, I’m going to have to start now.”

“I’d like to see you try.” Lucy scoffed slowly. 

“I can be very persuasive, Lulu.” 

“Don’t tease me with a good time Mikko,” Lucy sighed, her playfulness beginning to leech back into her words. “Not when I’m about to fly away.”

Silently, Lucy pulled back her eyes fixated on him until she joined her luggage on the curb. She gathered it quickly, praying that she could make it through security and to her terminal before final boarding. 

She ran through the airport with a smile that she hadn’t worn in months. Even if running made her ass jiggle, her breast hurt, and her shoes were in no way made for running. There was no amount of discomfort that could take away from what she had to look forward to when she got back. 

She would see Mikko again, for this wasn’t goodbye. It was just the beginning for something and she was ready to see where it led. 

***

One Week Later…

Lucy was tired of travelling. From the delayed flights, to the child that kicked the back seat the entire way to Dallas, it made her never want to set foot on another plane. Or maybe it was the dehydration from her steady diet of complimentary resort alcohol, her aching sunburn, or the ungodly number of hours she had spent in airports just to get to Dallas. She’d flown from Cuba to Atlanta, then Raleigh, only to turn around and connect to Dallas — all because she needed more than bikinis and a sarong to survive Texas. But it was finally over.

She followed the crowd through the airport, her carry on slung over her shoulder and her headphones in. The crowd slowly began to thin, people staying off to baggage claim, but she pushed onward. She had only travelled with the one bag. Her stepped hastened, her heart thundering in her ears, drowning out the music as she rounded the corner into the arrivals area. 

There she saw him. Standing tall and holding a sign with her name written across it in bold as if she wouldn't be able to spot him in the crowd. He held it high, his eyes searching for her – and when he saw her his smile grew and lit her with an excitement she felt every time they were in the same room.

It took all of her strength not to run to him, but there was no being coy about how much she missed him.

He dropped the sign the moment she was in arms reach, their bodies finding each other in that same embrace she hadn’t wanted to leave a week before. 

“I was going to get an Uber,” she muttered. 

“I thought I’d give you a ride,” he spoke into her hair, the heat of his words blossoming over the top of her head – fuck, she would never get over how big he was.

“I think someone missed me,” she teased. 

“I couldn’t stop thinking about you,” he admits in a quiet confession, “I have missed you every single day since I left Raleigh.”

She tried to swallow back the lump that was suddenly in her throat, but couldn’t quite make it go away. There was no avoiding the conversation now. Not when she had flown all the way there to face it. 

“Sounds like you’ve had a steady diet of adrenaline and regret.”

Mikko laughed softly, “Something like that, yeah – don’t tell anyone I’m telling you this, but the Dallas nutritionist has nothing on you. Their smoothie bar is–”

“You still drink it?” she cut him off with a laugh. 

“Of course I do,” Mikko said and his arm fell around her shoulders, carefully guiding her off to the parking garage. 

“Good, means you didn’t just bring me over here to make you smoothies,” her tone was teasing before it fell back into the seriousness of their conversation. “So, what happens now?” 

“Well…” he hummed, taking her carry on from her casually. “You’re here for just a few days right?”

“The weekend.” 

“Well, I’ll show you around. My apartment, and Dallas.”

“And then?”

“That depends, what are the chances I can convince you to stay longer?” 

Lucy stopped  just outside the airport doors, her head leaning back to look up at Mikko as he towered over her. “How much longer?” 

Her heart hammered against her chest

Mikko stood across from her, looking down at her with a playful smirk. “I was thinking eight years, at least.”

“That’s going to take a lot of convincing,” Lucy had meant for her words to be playful, but they came out as a mere whisper. 

“I’ve found I can be quite persuasive,” Mikko countered. 

He leaned in just enough to tease her with the ghost of a kiss that he could have given her. Then, he drew back, his hand slipping down the length of her arm to hold her hand as he led her out into Dallas. His home, and if he played his cards right, it would be her home too. 

TAGLIST: @mp0625 , @starshine-hockey-girl , @wingedwheelprxncess , @kurlyteuvo , @couldawouldashoulda50 , @hagelpoint-3821 , @macklin-celebrini-71 , @m00nlightdelights , @laurenairay , @idonthaveaclue , @dasiysthings

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[dazzlingjaeyun]

xᴍᴀꜱ ꜱᴘᴇᴄɪᴀʟ – ᴊᴀʏ ⊹˚꙳⁺⋆₊･*❅

brothers bestfriend!jay x fem!reader

୨୧ genre: a mix of fluff & angst i guess | words: 1.6k | cw: none ୨୧

hanna says: so sorry for being late with this one!! i was super sick and really couldn't get myself to write :( i wanted to put my all into what i'm doing and not rush posting just for the sake of being done. merry late xmas to everyone mwah

₊☃️‧₊˚❄️˚₊‧🌨️˚ ⋅

"do you think we should get this?" you asked as you turned to jay, holding up a toy doll.

you'd been in the mall for hours, browsing all different kinds of stores to fulfill the wishes that children had scribbled on small papers and hung up on the huge christmas tree in the middle of the mall.

it was a charity project that had been going on for ever since you could remember and your family had always donated a few gifts to children whose families couldn't afford them.

you were supposed to go with your brother heeseung, but he'd gotten sick just at the wrong time, and since you'd complained about not wanting to go alone, he'd persuaded his best friend jay to join you.

little did heeseung know that it didn't even need half of the talking to get jay to go with you – the younger was down the second he heard your name.

honestly, jay was surprised heeseung hadn't understood yet, for jay was terrible at hiding his feelings and he was sure everyone could see he was head over heels for you. everyone but your brother and you.

to be fair, heeseung did sometimes grow suspicious of the way jay looked at you, but whenever the younger acted a bit too protective, heeseung just shrugged it off, assuming jay was simply being a good friend for looking out for his sister.

"jay?" you called out, cheeks just a little flushed at the way jay hadn't stopped looking at you ever since you'd asked the question.

you saw his eyes widening slightly as he snapped back, how his adams apple popped up and down when he gulped heavily and how his lips parted just a bit once he nodded and forced his gaze the other way.

"if you zone out any more, you might start rivaling sunghoon," you tried to joke in an attempt to ease the tension building in your stomach.

jay's eyes shot back to you, a crease forming between his brows. "sunghoon?"

"yeah,” you cleared your throat awkwardly, “anyways.” you put the doll into the cart that was standing between you and jay and turned around, pretending to look for something else on the shelves.

you could practically feel jay's eyes boring into your back as he kept looking at you. his thoughts slipped out before he could stop them.

"are you guys close?"

your shoulders stiffened at the undertone in his voice that you couldn't quite place. "not much", you just replied quickly, before dropping something else into the cart.

"you're being awkward, you know," jay murmured just loud enough for you to hear.

you tightened your grip around the cart. "we're not–... he's... i wouldn't be close to hee's friends," you said, avoiding his eyes.

jay tried his best to not swallow down the lump in his throat again, to not tense his jaw too obviously.

"right," he replied lowly after a moment of silence.

you wanted to tell him that it wasn't true, but then again you couldn't risk it. what if you read too much into the way you thought jay looked at you? the way you knew jay, he wore his heart on his sleeve, so heeseung would have immediately understood if jay liked you as more than just his best friend's little sister. and the way you knew heeseung, he'd never accept that, so you definitely did read too much into jay's behavior towards you.

"i didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable," you heard jay's now gentle voice cutting through the fog of your thoughts.

"uncomfortable?" you repeated and shook your head slightly, "you didn't make me uncomfortable."

jay's lips curled up a little, giving you just the hint of a smile. "good," he replied with a softness in his voice that almost made your heart ache, "that's the last thing i'd want."

when your eyes met his, and you found him looking at you so gently, almost vulnerably, you couldn't help but get lost in his dark brown orbs, which suddenly seemed like the only thing in the world.

he didn't break eye contact until you softly cleared your throat and looked away, praying your cheeks didn't look as warm as they felt.

"we should get the last few things, we're almost done," you said quietly, still avoiding his eyes.

jay just smiled softly when he noticed your slightly pink cheeks. "you're deflecting, you know that?" he asked almost teasingly.

your eyes shot back to him, "i'm not deflecting," you replied sternly, crossing your arms in front of your chest.

jay's smile turned into a grin. "you're doing it right now. you always change the topic when i say something."

you opened your mouth to protest, but no words came out. then, as if he'd realized he'd said too much, jay's grin faltered, "anyways, you're right, we should finish up."

you just nodded in response and picked the last few toys without exchanging too many words with jay. once you'd paid and loaded the gifts onto the donation table, the two of you walked toward the exit in silence.

the air outside was cold but filled with the warm scent of hot chocolate and freshly baked waffles. the two of you made your way through the crowd of people who gathered around the different stalls.

as you walked next to each other and your shoulders softly brushed against each other's, jay glanced your way and noticed your gaze fixed on the waffle stall just a few feet ahead.

carefully, he placed his hand on the small of your back to guide you toward the stall. when you looked up at him in confusion, he just gave you a quick smile, waiting in silence until it was your turn.

"i hope you still like them with chocolate?" jay asked after ordering.

the confusion on your face grew even bigger, "i do, but how do you know?" you asked, drawing a chuckle from jay.

"last year, when we went to the christmas market with hee, i said they're too sweet with chocolate and you gave me a whole lecture on how they're 'not the same without'," he replied while grabbing the waffle from the seller.

he handed it to you with a smile, "enjoy."

you carefully took the waffle from his hands, your skin buzzing where your fingers softly brushed his and gave him a warm smile, "thank you, jay."

"anything for you," he replied, almost inaudibly over the chatter of the people, but just loud enough for you to catch it. you quickly lowered your head, eyes fixated on the waffle as you started eating, knowing your cheeks were way too red to look at him.

while you finished eating, the two of you walked to jay's car, where he held the passenger door open and waited for you to get in before circling the car and sitting in the driver's seat.

the drive to your place was silent, but it didn't feel uncomfortable. when he pulled up in your driveway, he stopped the engine and turned to look at you.

"thank you for tagging along with me," you said with a soft smile, "don't tell hee, but it was more fun with you."

jay chuckled at your words, "would you like to do that again? not the shopping, just... spending time?"

your eyes widened in surprise. "what? like a date?" your thoughts slipped out so quickly you had no time to stop them, causing your eyes to widen only more when your words settled in.

jay's breath caught in his throat when he saw your surprised face. he wanted to nod his head yes so badly, but everything told him to say no. his mind kept ping ponging between the two words, but he just swallowed hard to prevent any of them from actually coming out.

"relax," he said finally, "i was just kidding."

a wave of disappointment quickly washed over your earlier surprise, but you forced a tight smile and nodded, "right,” quickly looking down to avoid jay’s eyes again. after a moment of silence that felt like a year, you placed one hand at the handle to open the car door, but just before you could pull it, jay spoke up again.

"wait," he said softly, as if he was giving you every chance to not listen and still leave. yet, you let go of the handle and sank back into your seat.

"y/n," jay started. his voice sounded different, more vulnerable than usually. "i shouldn't say this, but i don't want to end the year without doing it."

finally, you turned to look at him. his eyes were filled with a mixture of the familiar warmth they held whenever he looked at you and something more vulnerable.

"i like you. like... really like you. a lot," he said hesitantly. his eyes searched yours for any kind of reaction, but you just blinked at him.

"it's okay if you don't feel the same way, of course," jay added quickly, "please just don't think of me differently now. and don't tell heeseung. actually, just forget what i said, i shouldn't have–... sorry, i–"

"jay," you cut him off, reaching out to carefully place your hand on top of his, "what if i feel the same way?"

this time, it was jay's turn to blink at you in confusion. "you do?"

a soft smile spread across your lips as you nodded.

jay reciprocated your smile, reaching out to carefully brush a loose strand of hair behind your ear. "then this might be the best christmas gift i've ever gotten."

part six of my xmas special. tap here to get to the other members!

© dazzlingjaeyun, 2024. please do not copy.

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❥ perm. taglist: @sudi109 @woniesun @leov3rse @simpjay @immelissaaa @beebrightness @jayparked @simjaexy @insommni4 @camzzsim

[bunniebubbleswrites]

Hot Coco Kisses

Larissa Weems x F! Teacher! Reader A/N: This was so much fun to write and I had to stop myself from giggling in the middle of some of my classes! Warnings: Slight slow burn? Tooth-rotting fluff, kinda OOC Larissa Words: 1782

Outreach day, something that almost everyone looked forward to. Everyone except you. It was the one thing you did dread every year. All it did was bring back unwanted memories. You had managed to get out of it every year by saying you had papers that still needed grading or by feigning illness. This year neither of those was an option. Apparently, they didn’t have enough chaperons this year so it was just you, Larissa, and Marilyn. 

You stood next to Marilyn, as the Mayor’s voice rang through the air, you weren’t really listening to his speech. Something about normie and outcast relations blah blah blah. You just focused your eye’s on the building behind the Mayor and Larissa. 

The rush of students passing you and Marilyn forced you out of your daze, almost knocking you into Marilyn. 

“Oh my goodness! Marilyn, I am so sorry!” You profusely apologize to your colleague. 

“It’s okay, really (Y/N) it’s not that big of a deal.” Marilyn waved her hands in front of her brushing off what happened. “Are you okay though? You’ve seemed kind of out of it since we got here.” 

“Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just there are some memories I can’t seem to let go of.” You let out a sigh as you spotted Larissa walking towards the both of you in her long gray coat. Her long legs carried her over to the both of you very quickly. 

You and Marilyn both turn to look at the tall woman that had her signature smile on her face. The three of you stood in a small circle; the silence un-nevering. 

“We should probably go and see how the kids are doing.” Marilyn’s voice made you jump just slightly. You nodded and smiled as you walked towards the students still standing on the main road. You ushered the small group towards their assignments and when you were sure everyone was where they needed to be you started towards The Weathervane. 

You entered the coffee shop, the small bell on the door signaling to the people behind the counter they had another customer. You went up to the counter surprised that there was no line. 

“Hey Tyler,” Tyler turned and looked at you and met your smile with his own. You had been close with his mother, that in-result led to you being around a lot when he was still little. “My usual, I’ll leave the money on the counter.” You took a 5 dollar bill out of your wallet and placed it on the counter. 

You walked over to a small booth second to the back, while putting your wallet away and putting it in the front pocket of your bag. You settled into the booth with your back facing the entrance.  You placed your bag next to you and pulled out your book. This was routine whenever you came into The Weathervane. 

You ordered a Hot Chocolate, you settled into the second booth to the back of the shop and read. Letting yourself get absorbed into your reading you didn’t notice the two teachers that had walked in. Tyler called out your name and your head shot up. 

You took your bookmark and placed it into the book where you had left off. You left your book on the table and walked over towards the counter, you grabbed the to-go cup. 

“Thanks Tyler.” You raised the cup of hot chocolate in your hands and nodded at him. You settled back into the both, sipping on the hot chocolate, burning your tongue just slightly with the first sip. You opened your book back up and let your mind wander. 

You heard someone sit down in front of you and you looked up from your book, a look of annoyance on your face until you saw Larrissa in front of you with a cup of hot chocolate. You smiled at her and tried to go back to your book. 

You tried to focus on the words on the page in front of you but you just couldn’t. All you could do was keep sneaking glances at the woman in front of you. 

“Principal Weems,” Larissa gasps as she looks up from the cup she was holding in her hands. You slipped your bookmark into your book and set it gently on the table; resting your hands over each other on top of the book. “ Well, it looks like another successful Outreach Day is upon us.” Larissa gave a slight chuckle towards the mayor. 

“And, uh… Thank you for your generous donation to my re-election campaign.” The mayor’s voice seemed to lower but he’s loud enough for Marliyn to hear him. 

“Consider it a token of our ongoing cooperation.” Larissa clicks her tongue and you look at her, your shock showing just slightly. Marliyn walks over towards the three of you.

“Apparently everyone is off to their assignments, and so far no incidents.” You've never been more thankful for Marliyn’s impeccable timing. 

“Mayor Walker, I’d like you to meet Marilyn Thornhill,” Larissa glanced over towards you “and (Y/N) (L/N).” She gestured towards Marilyn then you. Mayor Walker glanced at you and then at Marilyn, then he smiled. 

“In the spirit of outreach, Marilyn is Nevermore’s first normie teacher, and (Y/N) is one of newest teachers.” You smile up at him.

“Well, the pleasure is all mine.” He reaches his hand out and shakes my hand then Marilyn’s.

“Hey, have we, uh… Have we met before?” He turns his attention towards Marilyn, you tune out the rest of their conversation starting down at the cover of your book. You let yourself zone out and the sound of Larissa's voice made you jolt your head up.

“(/N)...(Y/N, are you alright.” She had one of her gloved hands over top of your hands that had been on top of your book. Your face flushed, when had Marilyn left? When did Mayor Walker leave? 

“Yes, I’m fine just a little out of it. Sorry.” You didn’t know why you apologized, it had just come out. 

“Why don’t we take a walk?” Larissa suggested kindly. Maybe some fresh air would do you some good. You nodded and slipped your book into your bag, you grabbed your hot chocolate and slid out of the booth,having Larissa mimicking your movements. 

You both walked out of The Weathervane, your right hand gripping the strap of the bag that hung off your shoulder. Once you reach the steps outside you take a deep breath in and let the cold air settle around you. Larissa puts a hand on your lower back urging you forward. 

You look over your shoulder up at her and are met with a nervous smile. You both move down the steps. 

“So, umm… we haven’t actually got to sit down and talk since I've been here. So I guess I’ll ask first, what’s been going on with you?” You finish off your hot chocolate and toss it into a trash can as you pass by it. 

“Well, nothing really. I’ve just been managing Nevermore.” Larissa responds to your question with the answer you were expecting. Silence falls over both of you as you walk. You go to speak up again but Larissa beats you to it.

“What about you? I mean what's been going on with you?” She seemed nervous when she said it. You giggled slightly at the fact. 

“Well, nothing too interesting. After graduation I went to college and now I’m here.” You smiled up at her as you let the words fall out of your mouth. 

As you both walked; you both started to bring up old memories. The good and the bad, some of them making you laugh so hard your face turns red.

“Remember that one time Claire begged me to switch Outreach Day assignments with her and she ended up with the espresso machine blowing up in her face.” The words left your mouth as you laughed and it made your heart soar to see Larissa laughing with you. 

Larissa then stopped and faced you, she looked nervous. Her face was almost as red as yours was but it seemed it was not for the same reason. 

“Larissa is everything alrigh-” She cut you off before you could get another word out.

“You're not dating anyone right?” She said out right, making your eyes go wide.

“N-no, why do you ask?” You stutter out, unsure of where this conversation was going. It had happened to many times before, being asked out and being embarrassed when they didn’t show up or showed up with someone else. 

Her face was flushed and so was yours, maybe it’s because you both had been through the same experiences in this department. You both looked at each other and you knew her question without her having to say anything. 

You took a step towards her and you reached your hands up to her face having to stand on your tippy-toes despite the heels you were wearing. 

You pulled her down, her red lips meeting yours. You weren’t sure what had prompted you to kiss her but you did.

She kisses you back, her arms wrapping around your waist. You didn’t know how long you had been like that, but it got intense enough that her tongue had slipped into your mouth. You could still taste the hot chocolate she had earlier. 

She pulled back first, her red lipstick was smudged and you no doubt had some on your lips as well. You both just stood on the sidewalk for a little bit, staring at each other. 

The sound of students cheering made you both pull back all too quickly. You stumbled over your own feet and Larissa caught you in her arms. You regain your balance, your hand on Larissa’s lower arms. Your students had just caught the both of you kissing, dear god. You don’t think you would ever live this down. 

Larissa shooed the students away, your face flushed and all you could do was stare down at your shoes and grip the handle of your bag so tightly your knuckles were turning white. Larissa walked over to you and took your hand from the handle of her bag. When you felt her gloved hand on yours, you relaxed just slightly.

“So, how about coffee Saturday?” You giggle out, looking up at her. Your hand still in her gloved one. 

“That would be lovely.” She responds back, giving you a truly happy smile. 

You both walk back to the town square hand in hand, but not before you fix her lipstick and wipe the rest off of your own lips.

[moonlitst0ries]

Family - Platonic!118 x Poly!Reader

based on this request by @frankcastlelover: Hi idk if you do requests like this but if so can I get 118 x platonic!poly!reader where her gf and bf come to the fire station for whatever reason you want and the readers bf and gf are SUPER alt like lots of piercings/tattoos and crazy colored/styled hair their just a stark contrast to sweet awkward reader who’s still alt just not to as alt.

Summary: How the 118 (your family) met your boyfriend and your girlfriend.

Notes: This is my first ever request, and like my second fic so I'm super anxious, but I had a lot of fun writing this. The reader's dating two Oc's (Sophia and Jackson, yes I'm not good at picking characters' names), I may have based them on my type. Also, I'm not poly myself, so if I represented this wrong I'm so sorry.

Also, Bobby sort of quotes Captain Holt from b99!!

@frankcastlelover I really hope you like this, if there are any changes you'd like me to make, please tell me!

Every firefighter in LA wanted to work in the 118. They were well known amongst the other stations for their epic calls and great work, but most of all – for the beautiful and healthy environment that they had. The 118 had always been a family, a safe place for everyone who worked there to just be themselves and really express their identity. Bobby Nash, the captain, made everyone feel welcome and understood and the same could be said of the rest of the team. 

You were the last addition to then 118, yet you fit with the others like you had been there since day one. You had stuck out to them for your slightly alternative style that gave you a peculiar charm.

Buck and Eddie had become your best friends, you were the first person they went to for everything. You tried to help Buck with his dating life who was, honestly, kind of a mess; and Eddie let you babysit Christopher quite often. In Hen you had found a confidant, who would listen to you everytime something worried you. She was the only woman other than you, and she, was also queer so you trusted her with everything. Chimney always made you laugh, no matter how bad your day had been, and you saw Ravi as a little brother, despite being only one year older than him. In Bobby, you had found the father figure you never had. He was kind, patient and caring, always looking out for you.

In the past you had changed many stations, never feeling like you belonged but here, in the 118, everything had changed. You had never felt so accepted in another station before. You didn’t have to hide who you were, you didn’t have to pretend to conform to what – according to society – was the norm. You had found a family that would always love you, no matter what.

That is why you decided to come out to them, to reveal something about yourself that only your closest friends knew. One day, as you were all eating lunch in the station together like always, you took a deep breath and tried to keep your hands from shaking as you finally spoke.

“Uhm… could I have your attention?”

Your voice shook. Bobby turned to you, a kind look in his eyes.

“Of course, kid. Everyone, listen to her”

He spoke, gently, but serious enough to seem like he was giving out an order to the team.

Everyone turned to look at you, their interest obviously piqued.

“Okay so… since you have made me feel so… safe and at home here, I think it’s fair that you know everything about me”

Eddie gave you a reassuring nod, encouraging you to go on. 

“I am queer. Polyamorous, actually.  That means I don’t necessarily-“

You were cut off in your awkward explaining by Hen putting her hand on your shoulder, a soft smile on her face.

“We know what that means, you don’t have to explain”

She spoke softly and her smile made your heart melt in relief.

“So this doesn’t… change anything, right?”

Your voice shook a little with emotion, because it had never been so easy before.

“Of course it doesn’t, your still our probie”

Buck smiled warmly and got up from his seat, rushing to your side to hug you.

“Oh come on, you know I’m not a probie anymore”

You chuckled as you hugged him back, then Ravi added, smiling.

“They never stop calling you that. Trust me, I know”

Everyone hugged you, and the shift went on like nothing was different, like you were still family. When you were about to go home, Bobby walked up and placed a hand on your shoulder.

“I’m proud of you, for stepping up and telling us that. Everytime someone says who they are, the world becomes a better place”

You felt yourself tear up and hugged Bobby.

You were so grateful for your family. 

----

It had been months since you came out to the rest of the 118, and you had started seeing someone, a girl and a guy to be exact. Sophia and Jackson. You had met them at a concert of your favorite band. It was love at first sight once you saw both of them. You were absolutely in love with their style, full of piercings and tattoos. Sophia had her hair dyed a bright pink, and always wore the most beautiful clothing, showing her tattoos that she wore with pride. She had both her eyebrows pierced, as well as her septum, and was the sweetest girl you ever met. Jackson was the guitarist in the band he had with his friends, and he played in small events from time to time. His style was similar to Sophia’s, he had tattoos and wore lots of rings. They certainly weren’t the kind of people that others would expect you to go for, that is why you were curious to see how the 118 would have react when finally meeting them.

At fisrt you had waited some time, to see if this thing you had with Jackson and Sophia was really serious. You didn’t want your family to meet people who would just be a fling. But they weren’t. 

You three were in love, and hiding them was becoming stressful. The excuses you were making up for not being able to go to dinner at Bobby and Athena’s, or for being too busy to babysit Christopher were becoming more and more unbelievable. But you wanted to organize something nice, maybe a luch, or a party at your house. You didn’t want your lovers to just show up. Except one day, they did.

----

It had been a long shift with endless calls, and you hadn’t been able to answer your phone all day. This made both your girlfriend and your boyfriend extremely worried. It was never easy dating a firefighter, especially if she hadn’t responded to their texts all day. That’s why they decided to go to the station and see if you were okay themselves.

Once you came back and got out of the firetruck, your eyes widened as you saw Sophia and Jackson standing there, holding hands, clearly worried out of their mind.

“Hey, I didn’t expect to see you here. What happened?”

You asked softly, almost forgetting the dangers of your job.

The others were looking at you, clearly curious after understanding that you did know this people.

“You weren’t answering your phone. Never do that again”

Sophia spoke in a slightly shaky voice, and hugged you tightly, almost cutting you off.

You hugged her back, your eyes looking up at Jackson.

“We were really worried, love”

He whispered. You brought him in the hug as well, almost forgetting you were in front of everyone.

“I’m okay. I’m here”

You answered.

Meanwhile, Buck was looking at you in shock, his mouth wide open. Not only were you dating someone without telling them, but they were so… different from you.

Eddie nudged him with his shoulder.

“Close your mouth. You’ll catch flies, Buck”

“It’s just… look at them!”

Buck smiled, his heart melting as he looked at the three of you.

“They’re adorable. I’m happy for her”

Hen’s sweet voice cut in, as she watched you hug your lovers.

“I’m the only one who’s offended that she didn’t tell us she was dating these cool people?”

Chimney asked, joking lightheartedly.

“Okay, I’m not offended anymore, they look adorable”

He said after a few seconds.

Bobby was just looking at them with a proud expression.

They let you have your moment with your lovers, but after your hug had ended, Buck had already rushed to Sophia and Jackson, introducing himself excitedly. Your partners began talking to everyone, the atmosphere turning domestic and comfortable. You were watching the scene unfold, almost getting emotional. Your lovers were meeting your family, this was the moment you had always dreamed of.

You were brought back to earth by a hand on your shoulder. You turned around and saw Bobby.

“Hey cap. I’m sorry for not telling you about them. I was planning a fancy dinner for everyone to meet”

Bobby smiled and squeezed your shoulder.

“Don’t be sorry. You have every right to take your time. Though, promise you won’t ditch anymore dinners a tour place, or Athena will take that personally”

You smiled at that, a soft laugh escaping you.

“Never again, I promise”

“Oh and from now on, bring Sophia and Jackson with you. They’re family now”

Bobby spoke, and you smiled at him gratefully.

You were finally with the people who loved you. And yes, you were family.

[kaivenom]

Hey may I request a spider x fem reader where it's the map scene and I said something bad about the reader ( u can make it up ) and she has atusim like quinn and the reader runs away with quinn and Darren chasing after her and neither one can make her not cry anymore so they go to spider as he's the only one they know that can make calm down as he has a big soft spot for her like he has for ant please

In need for comfort

Summary: when the map is discovered, the actual girfriend of your ex tried to make you feel bad about it. Not knowing how to handle it, you run away from everyone, until some blonde appears.

Pairing: Spencer "Spider" White x autistic!reader

Warnings: sexual themes, mention of previous smut, mean people.

A/N: i will try to write an "autistic" reader but i don't know if i will do it well so please be kind. I will guide myself by Quinni's behaviour on some scenes.

Masterlist

Five minutes ago someone screamed about some incest map and everyone started a crazy race to see what was going on, you and your friends included. Once you get there, you discovered a wall full on names and connected with lines that defined the sexual act the two persons did. Fast enough you searched for your name, discovering it's only connected with one person. You sighted with relief knowing nobody speculates about your secret relationship with Spider.

The only person they connected you with was your ex-boyfriend. The gold line of sex and the green line of... your heart skipped a beat and you couldn't catch a breath, pressure on your chest building up. The green line is for anal, your cheeks are burning from embarrasment. Everyone is laughing, you don't know about who but it feels like it's about you.

"Wow, it looks like someone it's a little slut," you can't think straight, your vision starting to blurr as you look to the wall.

The voice that sounded on the background sounded like the new girlfriend of your ex, this can't be worse. The attetion it's starting to get officially into you.

"So, you let my boyfriend enter the back door." her voice sounded closer every second. "what a fucking slut, maybe that's why he dumped you." You feel like floating, expecting to fall every moment now, not being able to continue listening to the girl, which is closer every second.

People are around moving like ghosts to you. The air is escaping and entering your lungs faster that you can asimilate, it feels like you are about to fade out while the blood rushes at high speed thru your ears.

"(Y/N)," Darren's voice sounded distant.

You don't knwo how to handle breathing, seeing or feeling anymore, your legs started moving without warning, trying to get you out of there as faster as possible. Darren and Quinn's voice following you from behind, but you don't care, you only want to run from everyone.

You get to a hidden spot, nearby some trees. Your friends got there not so long before you, keeping the distance as you place your back on the wall trying to catch your breath. Uncontrollably, you started shaking your hands and moving you head in a poor attempt to shake everyhing outside your body.

"(Y/N)," there it is, Darren's voice again, you aren't able to speak now and they know.

Movemment around you, they left you alone?, that's strange, that's sad, you started to cry again, remembering all the people that left you because you were to "strange or "difficult to treat". You never expected that from Darren since they already had Quinn as a friend.

"Here she is, i can't do anything, she is not respondind, please, do something."

Darren's voice appeared on screen but with someone new, a familiar shadow formed in front of you. It's not touching you but somehow, it has a little calming effect on you, it's Spider.

"I don't know what to do, this is not my strong point, tell me what you need." you denied with your head, unable to speak, only going back to the wall.

He got next to you, but instead of hugging you, Spider sat on the bench next to both. You didn't even realized it was there, now you know you let your legs fade out and sit abruptly on the bench with him. Suddently, your favourite song started to sound on the background, apparently Spider put it on with his phone.

Your breath finally started to calm down a little, but your heart still races to fast for your pleassure. An object got in your view, an anti estress ball. You took it between your hands, brushing slightly Spider's hands in the process. Your fingers finally stopping to move around uncontrollably as you feel how wet your cheeks are from crying.

You didn't felt all that things before, but it's a good thing you are feeling them now, it's a sign that you are regaining control. You don't know how much time has passed, but the song played all the time and Spider didn't left your side.

"Are you better now?" his voice sounded more clear that has been the previous four times he asked you, maybe you are prepaerd to answer now.

"I think ... yes." the words are difficult to get out of your mouth.

His figure moved closer, sliding himself next to you, now your shoulders touching slightly. His hand moved slowly to your thight, which makes you shiver for a moment. HIs fingers don't stop moving to your leg, they only slow down, just to make time for you to adapt.

Now his touch is firm, moving up and down with confidence, making you feel better every second he is close to you. Finally, you found the courage to look at him, a smile forming on his lips seeing you finally.

"I am glad i didn't make you feel worse."

"I think... you would do that." speaking to him is still a little difficult.

He extended his hand to interlock your fingers together, kissing your knuckles in the most gentle way. You couldn't help but smile and giggle, now you kiss his cheek making him blush.

"At least they didn't catch us." you let out a small laugh.

"Yeah, you're right."

"And don't worry, i won't leave you like that idiot, i think you aren't too much... you are just the perfect amount to me."

[redditpinterest]

gold rush | cole walter

cole walter x female mc

summary: gracie has never been in love. she thinks. though, the enigmatic cole walter seems to have invaded her thoughts and infected her in every sense. she's completely enamored. too bad every other girl is too.

word count: 3.5k

author's note: i thought we could have a little haley james tutor moment and it was so much fun to write

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:

When we are little, our mothers always tell us to never stare at the sun. That the brightness is too much for our delicate irises. It's hard to imagine that something so essential to our lives can be just as harmful. We count on the sun to rise, as much as we count on it to set. It's a constant in our lives, the kind of thing that feels comforting because you know that no matter what, it will never leave.

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:

I startle as the bell pulls me from my thoughts, the ramblings of my calculus teacher going in one ear and out the other. Truly, I try to pay attention in class. But it's hard when he's sitting right there, not knowing. Not knowing that I would do anything to have the privilege of loving him.

I've always wondered what it must be like to grow up that beautiful. With the kind of hair that falls into place like dominoes and the kind of eyes that captivate a room. I've never been anything special. Not like Cole Walter. He's enigmatic, pulling everyone in and willing us to look in his direction.

Standing from my desk, I take my books into my arms and beeline for the lockers. I've got work after school, and we just got a new shipment in, meaning I get to spend my time reading the backs of the covers and creating a mental tbr. I force myself to forget Cole, hating how much of my thoughts he seems to consume when he barely knows my name.

Sure, we've been in class together since grade-school, but he's always hung around Dylan and Erin. Never me, not that I've even tried to be his friend. I'm not good at that kind of stuff. I much prefer to keep to myself, silently admiring him, because it's comfortable. He'll never know how much he consumes me, but that's okay. He doesn't need to. My crush on Cole Walter is as steady as the sun that rises each day. The sun never thinks about me, it just simply exists, and the rest of us revolve around it.

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:

The next week, my calculus teacher asks me to stay after class. To be completely honest, I was confused, since I was doing well in his class. I had even aced the last test.

"Gracie, I wanted to ask you a favor. I have a student who is really struggling in this class and I think that he would greatly benefit from your insights. Of course, you would get volunteer hours, but I was wondering if you could offer your time to tutor him?"

My brows furrow, Mr. Henry leaning against his desk, his arms crossed in front of him. I've tutored kids before, but it was always through the tutoring center at school. A teacher has never explicitly asked me to tutor one kid in one subject.

I don't really have the time, working at the bookstore, being on the volleyball team, and balancing my other courses. But I would hate to let Mr. Henry down, since he's one of my favorite teachers. And the people-pleaser in me can rarely find myself saying no. Which is why I nod, holding tightly onto the straps of my backpack.

"Yeah, of course. I'm free seventh period, so if you could just send him to the tutoring center then, that would be great."

Mr. Henry looks relieved, sending me a smile of approval.

"Perfect, thank you so much Gracie."

"Mhm." I nod as I begin to leave the classroom, "See ya, Mr. Henry."

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:

I feel like a little kid again, like at any moment I'm going to be scolded for looking at the sun for too long. But it's kind of hard not to stare when none other than Cole Walter walked into the tutoring center.

He's holding a green slip of paper, his blond hair gracefully falling into place. A simple grey t-shirt clings to his torso, his tanned arms seeming to shine as if he wasn't even from this world. A smirk adorns his lips, as his eyes connect with mine. I swear I feel my heart stutter in my chest.

"Gracie?" He lifts the paper in my direction.

I don't know if I can do this. I don't want him to be real. I'm perfectly fine with him being a figment of my imagination, a projection of my personal life. He didn't know me. He didn't need to. We would graduate and my silly crush on Cole Walter would disappear as if it were a hummingbird in the spring. There one minute, gone the next. And I was okay with that. He was never supposed to be permanent. But I'm afraid that if I get to know him, one of two things will happen.

He is nothing like my brain has projected onto him, and this daydream of mine is inevitably ruined.

This crush of mine becomes something so permanent that I fear I will never be able to scrub it from my brain.

Either one sounds like hell.

I realize that I haven't responded yet, and Cole is giving me an odd look that I can't quite decipher.

"Oh yeah, hi." I scramble to say, standing up from the table and holding my hand out like an idiot.

Cole's eyes glance down at my hand before bouncing back up to my face. Reluctantly his palm slides against mine and he gives it a good shake before pulling away with a laugh.

"So formal."

He pulls the chair out next to mine, throwing his body into it and leaning over to reach into his backpack.

"Sorry." My cheeks heat with embarrassment as I sit back down.

His scent immediately intoxicates me, and I can't tell if it's cologne or just him. The woodsy notes fill my senses and I can't help but wonder if he knows how enamored everyone is by Cole Walter.

"So, Mr. Henry seems to think that I need some help with calculus. Can you help me, Gracie?"

I give him a soft smile, not daring to look him in the eyes. They're the most inviting waters, though I would hate to feel like a sinking ship.

"I suppose I could, Cole."

He pulls his last test out of his folder, sliding it in my direction for me to look it over.

"Do you tutor a lot?"

I hate the way that his voice fills me, making my whole body flush just from his proximity.

"Um, not as much anymore. I'm kind of busy recently."

My eyes scan over the pages of his test as I nervously tap my fingers against the fabric of my jeans. In all honesty, Cole has a pretty good grasp of the concepts, he just struggles with using them.

Cole's silent for a moment before speaking again.

"Hm. Busy with what?"

I ignore his question, finally pulling my eyes up to look at him.

"I think this is fixable. You're not bad at calculus, Cole. We just need to work on applying the stuff you already know."

I don't want Cole to know things about me because I don't want him to become real. The more distance I keep, the more comfortable I am. There nothing I would hate more than for him to realize that I'm just as obsessed with him as every other girl. It's pathetic, really, the way that he just pulls me in without even knowing.

But I don't want a gold rush. I want something real, tangible. Cole Walter is nothing more than the kind of hope that humans hold on to. It's too good to be true, and I would much rather be looking at it from a distance than get to close and realize that it's all been a lie that I've been telling myself.

Cole seems a little caught off guard with my deflection, his eyes flicking between mine as if deciding whether to call me out for it. He doesn't, going along with me instead.

"Sure. Teach me the art of integrals, Gracie."

I work with Cole on correcting his test for the next hour, determined to focus on something that makes sense to me. Calculus. When the hour hand of the clock reaches three, I write down a list of practice problems for Cole to work on at home.

"Alright, these are for you to work on, and we'll go over them at our next session, okay?"

I start to put my textbook into my bag, standing to leave.

"Okay," Cole draws out, still sitting at the table.

He looks like heaven sitting there, the evening light hitting his skin in an angelic way. It seems as if even the sun herself can't resist Cole Walter.

"Okay." I breath out, giving him a curt nod before leaving the room.

I feel as if I can finally breath again as I step into the parking lot, allowing the fresh air to fill my lungs and clear my head. Heading toward my green Jeep, I halt when I hear someone call my name. I turn around, hand pausing on the handle of the driver's door.

Cole is walking in my direction and I think for a moment that I forgot something at the table. When he reaches me, he leans his arm against the hood of my car, taking a moment to admire my biggest pride.

"Nice car." He gives me a smile that allows dimples to form at his cheeks, and there's something so human about it that it makes me dizzy.

"Thanks."

He doesn't say anything for a moment, and I turn my head to scan around the parking lot, confused.

"Did you need something?"

I probably sound like a bitch, but I have work at 3:30 and I don't want Mary to be upset with me.

"Oh, uh yeah. I can't do seventh period for our next tutoring session. Taking my sister to her football practice."

"Oh. Well I have volleyball in the morning and work after school- I can't really do any other time."

"You could come to my house after work?"

The question catches me so off guard that I swear I almost start to violently cough.

"I couldn't- I get off pretty late and I don't want to make you wait for me. We could just wait until next week."

Cole seems amused at my rambling, tilting his head while my eyes fight to look anywhere else but him.

"Nah, it's cool if you're okay with it. I really want to do good in calc. Here, give me your phone."

He holds his hand out and I don't even hesitate before putting the cream phone case into his palm. Cole adds his number to my phone, texting himself to set it up.

"Okay, just text me when you get off and I'll send you my address. See you tomorrow, tutor girl."

I feel like my body is frozen in place as he backs away, waving at me before getting into his truck.

Cole Walter just put his number in my phone. My. Phone. What the fuck.

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:

I think that my favorite thing about the sun is that it holds our entire solar system together. Its gravity is so magnetic that it keeps all of the planets orbiting around it in a constant rhythm.

It provides all possibility of life for us, while not harboring any of its own.

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:

The next day, I feel like my shift at the bookstore lasts a million years. Time moves slowly, inching by as I dread going to Cole's house. Like I said, I don't like that he's becoming real. And even worse, I hate that I almost like him more now that I've been around him. This is absolutely dreadful.

I hold my chin in my hand as I watch the minutes tick by, my body shielded by the register. Today's been pretty slow, though I did see a new paperback release from Emily Henry that has me wanting to buy it immediately. When it reaches 7:30, Mary wanders to the front, letting me off. My stomach drops with butterflies when the reality of seeing Cole Walter's life outside of school settles in. It feels wrong, in a way.

Reluctantly, I type out a message to Cole, praying that he remembered the fact that we were supposed to meet after I got off work.

Gracie: hey, it's gracie! i just got off work if we're still good for tutoring

Cole wastes no time sending me his address, about ten minutes away.

Cole: See ya soon, tutor girl ;)

I ignore the way that heat flushes my cheeks from his text and drive to his house, admiring the way that the sunset paints the sky with the final light of the day.

When I pull up to the ranch house, the pale yellow home seems to tell a story. The final streaks of light disappear beyond the tops of the aspen trees, and the moon peeks over the horizon. I text Cole to let him know that I'm here before grabbing my backpack and closing the door of my Jeep.

Cole meets me at the front door, swinging it open as I walk up the porch steps, the dark wood creaking beneath me. He flashes me a smile and I notice his eyes scan me up and down before settling on my face. I'm wearing a pair of baggy low rise jeans with a simple black tank top, a white pair of sneakers on my feet. My hair is in waves, the dark hair cascading to the middle of my back.

My lips lift softly in his direction, as he leans against the doorframe. He adorns a worn broncos shirt and a pair of grey sweats, looking so effortlessly beautiful. My hands clutch onto the straps of my bag as I stand in front of him, needing something to release the pent up nerves.

"Hey." I rock uncomfortably on my heels.

"Hey," he nods his head toward the house, "here, come on in."

I follow him inside, kicking off my shoes at the entrance before glancing around in the house. Warm wood encases the surfaces, the walls covered in photos and artwork. My home is nothing like this, almost sterile in comparison.

I hate how much more real it makes him feel.

Cole heads up the stair case and I follow, my eyes scanning each image, trying to understand how a family could have this many photos. He waits at the top, watching as I pause on a couple of the pictures, admiring the large smiles that grace the Walter boys as they grow.

"There's so many." I breath out at the top of the staircase, Cole twisting the handle of his door.

"Yeah, we get that a lot." Cole laughs.

"No I mean, there's so many pictures. I think my mom maybe has five pictures of me as a baby."

Cole gives me an odd look, and I realize that I just told him something real about me. It's something that I didn't realize was that weird until I started visiting my friend's houses growing up. That the parents saw their kids as their biggest accomplishments, rather than a burden to take care of until I move out. Though, I've never known anything different, so I don't think it really bothers me.

"Anyway," I work to change the subject, resting my backpack against the corner of his bed frame, "did you finish those problems?"

He doesn't say anything for a second, before internally shaking himself out of it and clearing his throat.

"Yeah, all except one. I didn't know where to start."

I nod, placing my textbook on the floor next to his bed and sliding myself to a sitting position, knees pulled to my chest.

"How was work?" Cole asks, handing me his problem sheet before laying on top of the bed, head close to mine.

"Slow. But we got in a new book I really want to read so that's fun."

Cole's head is next to mine as we both scan his paper, and I give him corrections as well as a starting point for the problem he was confused on. His proximity has my chest tightening, my whole body feeling like it's in fight or flight mode. I can feel his breath warm against me, his heat radiating like a phone you've been using too long.

I play with my fingernails as Cole works on the problem. It's so weird being in his room, seeing the posters he hung up as memories of his childhood. His fascinations and all the little things that make Cole Walter, Cole Walter.

"Done." I startle at his voice and the feeling of his arm as it brushes against my shoulder to hand me the paper.

My eyes catch on a bookshelf, filled with worn paperbacks.

"You like to read?"

I turn my head to catch Cole's eyes, and he's a lot closer than I expected, our faces merely inches apart.

"Yeah. Mostly just the shit that my dad buys for me at garage sales, though. Bet that's pretty funny since I'm kind of shit at school, huh, tutor girl."

I roll my eyes playfully, a smile involuntarily taking over my face.

"Okay, first of all, you're not shit as school, Cole. And second of all, stop calling me that."

"Or what?" His voice drops, shivers covering my spine.

I gulp, my mind racing to convince myself that this isn't real. It's another daydream that will disappear as soon as I wake myself up. Cole's too close, and he's looking at me in a way that I can't understand.

Gold rush, I remind myself. He's not real.

"How have we never talked before, Gracie?" His eyes don't leave mine.

The Sun, being a dynamic star, is constantly changing. At least, that's what NASA says. And I believe them for the most part. For so long, Cole has been this comfortable force in my life, something just out of reach, but always there. As much as I never want that to change, I can't help but think that this is worth the risk. Because just as the Sun, we are also constantly changing.

Cole is propped up by his elbow, his chest in my direction. His scent, as always, is intoxicating and now I'm certain that it's just him.

"I don't know. I guess I've always been too nervous." I confess.

"That's such bullshit. You're like a billion times more interesting than me."

"Cole. You have no idea the effect you have on people." I breath out, blinking slowly as he scans over my face.

Cole's head dips slightly, and he's suddenly close enough that if I were to lean slightly, we would be kissing. His hand reaches to my cheek, my breath catching at the soft touch.

"Gracie." He whispers.

All I can do is nod, answering the question he seemed to be asking.

He brushes his lips against mine, softly, before leaning in fully. And it doesn't feel quite real, that Cole Walter is kissing me. Eighteen years of life, eight of them spent consumed by him when I was so sure he didn't even know I existed. I'd dated, but Cole was always there, a place in my mind just for him.

My eyes flutter shut as I lean into his touch, our lips molded together in a dance. He increases the pressure, tilting my head back with his thumb against my jaw. Cole's tongue teases my lips, and they part to allow him access as he moans softly against my mouth.

I'd never felt like this before, not even with my ex-boyfriend who I had dated for two years. This felt electric, something so overwhelming that my whole body was on fire.

I pull away slightly, needing to remember that it's not real. When Cole goes to kiss me again, I tilt my head toward the floor.

"I- um. I should get going. I'll send you the practice test for the exam next week, okay?"

I stand up and swing my backpack over my shoulder, stepping toward his door and swinging it open.

Part of me feels bad, but I don't want to be another girl on Cole's roster. It's just another crack breaking through the delusion that I've been convincing myself of for years.

Cole's eyes are soft on mine when I raise my head to look at him again.

"Are you serious right now?"

"Yeah, I'll see you around, Cole."

I walk out, trying to keep my head held up until I climb inside my car. My forehead rests against the steering wheel as inevitable tears escape me.

It's best to let him go. I would hate to fall for him, only to be crushed when I reach reality. Because falling is magical until that final bone crush, when everything hits at once.

[typicalopposite]

🫶 making myself write monday 🫶

another day another scheduled post! :) so technically this was a making myself write sunday... but whatever! shout out to @bidisasterevankinard -- consider this your tag! -- for the prompt! (and so you know who to blame for what I'm about to do!!!

(TW: mpreg cause we live here now)

See you around, Buck.

He has replayed those words over and over and over and over in his head ever since Tommy pulled the door closed behind him. 

Now, there’s loud knocking on the same door, but he’s unable to call out that it’s open. Thankfully, Maddie tries the knob and pushes the door in, hurrying into the loft and over to Buck. “Hey,” she says softly, prying his phone out of the death grip he has on it. She ends the call that is still connected to her phone— where he tearfully had told her what happened before going silent… before going numb— and sits the phone on the table. “Buck…” Maddie tries again, after getting no response the first time. “Can you look at me?” 

He barely can even hear her; her voice is faint thanks to the rushing of blood in his ears and the pounding of his heart. He blinks, and finally the pools of tears release, pouring down his face. “He— he— he…”

“Shhh…” Maddie shushes him, drawing him into her arms. 

“He left.”

“I know.”

“He left Maddie!”

“I know, Buck. I’m so sorry.”

His breaths come in short gasping spurts and Maddie continues to plead with him to calm down before he passes out. 

“He— He— He left… us!” 

~~~

(An hour earlier)

Buck bounces on the balls of his feet nervously as he waits for Tommy to reach his apartment. 

He has spent the entirety of the day stressing over this moment. Running through exactly what he is going to say over and over and over and over. Reciting the life changing speech to himself in the mirror, to himself in the Jeep, then once to Maddie at dispatch so he could get some much desired feedback. “Buck… calm down. This is— it’s a lot, I know.” She reached up and cupped his cheek, smiling at him in that more-motherly-than-sisterly way she does to make him feel better. “But it’s going to be fine, you can do this.” 

This…  The ‘this’ in question is huge— or it’s going to be, anyway. Maybe the biggest thing to ever happen to him in his entire life… and scary, too. Terrifying even. But it won’t only affect him, so now— before they can move forward to this new journey— he has to tell Tommy. 

A quick knock at the door has Buck nearly vibrating out of his body. He walks over and opens the door, instantly met with Tommy’s gorgeous face and his to-die-for smile. “Hey!” he says, stepping forward and catching Buck by the hips to pull him in for a kiss. 

Buck feels the butterflies flutter to life in his stomach; they are never able to settle for long, not with Tommy. He is always saying something to rile them up, or doing something— or texting or calling or just existing in Buck’s memory and keeping them active. Buck is so in love with this man it kind of overwhelms him… and he hasn’t even had the chance to actually tell him that yet! Now there is this— this huge, scary announcement— throwing a hurdle right in the pathway to those three little words. By hurdle, of course, he means a power boost, like in those little racing games he gets his ass kicked by Chris in… Tommy always says they are going at his speed; that speed is about to increase tremendously. 

But it’s okay. 

Tommy is amazing. And kind. And caring and understanding and— well right now he is just rambling about parking spots and their movie date. Buck finally finds his voice and interjects to ask if they can talk. Tommy bounces off his jittering nerves with light humor, dismantling the tension with a playful uh oh as he sits down. “So I have been thinking about what you shared with me the other night…” Buck says.

“My spumoni?” Tommy says back, hands clasped together. 

“No… not your spumoni,” Buck laughs— spumoni actually sounds pretty appetizing, come to think of it… maybe they can get some to celebrate! “Uh… I- I was thinking a- about what you said regarding kids.” Tommy’s brows furrow, so Buck continues. “About how you’ve never really given much thought to the idea, b- but you’re not necessarily opposed to it either.” 

“Yeah, I did say that.” Now Tommy looks worried and that is causing Buck to lose the very minimal grasp on his own bravery. “I do love kids, it’s just— our line of work is a little—”

“Intense?” Buck concludes; Tommy nods. “A- And you're right… but— but see most people in our line of work… they don’t have the amazing support system that we have!” 

“Uh, that… is true,” Tommy says, face very unreadable. 

“So really… the idea of a kid loses some of its intensity thanks to that, right?” 

“Evan… what exactly are you—”

“I’m pregnant…”

He blurts it out, just like that. Now it’s out there and he can’t take it back and his heart feels like it’s being twisted; blood and oxygen are being cut off… He tries to judge Tommy’s reaction by the stark lack of reaction plastered across his face. He blinks, and takes in a deep breath. “W- Wow,” he manages. 

“Yeah… it’s, uh, crazy right?” 

“Mhmm…” 

“B- But we will be fine, you know. Because we have that amazing support system, and we have each other! We— We’re gonna be a family.” Tommy smiles at him— smile is too strong of a word— Tommy honestly looks constipated to him. “Hey…” he says, taking Tommy’s hand. “We— We are going to be fine. I’ll have to go on light duty but—” he gives a soft laugh. “—you know me. There’s no way they’re getting rid of me until I absolutely have to leave. So— so income won’t be a problem.” Tommy still looks pale and like he might pass out, so Buck squeezes his hand. “W- We can… move in together to— to your house… since you have extra rooms.”

“Evan…”

“Maddie is the only one who knows, I just needed someone to calm me down about telling you!”

“Evan…”

“But I’m going in the morning to tell Bobby… I want to be so careful because this—” He can’t help himself; he lets a hand slide across his flat belly. “This is something I have always wanted, and I think we’re gonna be amazing dads.” 

“Evan!” Buck startles at the incline in Tommy’s voice, he hardly ever raises his voice… much less to him. Tommy sighs. “We can’t move in together…” 

“What, wh- why not.” 

“Because, this… it’s not going to work.” Buck feels like his face is on fire; it’s hot and tingling and he can already feel the first drop of a tear to his cheek. “Please don’t— don’t cry.” Tommy looks so remorseful— that doesn’t go with his actions, though. “Look Evan, I think you’re going to be a great dad, but no matter how bad I want to be… I won’t.” 

“Y- You don’t know that.” 

“No, I— I do actually…” he says. “I’d be terrible… and I wouldn’t plan on it, and I wouldn’t mean to… but I’d only make everything worse for them and for you. I just— I should go.” He stands up, letting his hand slip free of Buck’s.

“W- Wait, hold on… wait a minute. Did you just… break up with me?” 

Tommy stops almost at the door and sighs, rubbing a hand over his face and holding it against his neck. “Yeah… I guess I did,” he says with a weak laugh. “Believe me I didn’t see it coming. I guess… I should have known that parking spot was too good to be true…” He stares back at Buck with the most heartbroken expression and Buck wonders who’s heart is breaking more right now; mostly he wonders why Tommy is doing this, and if he really believes the things he said. “I’ll see you around Buck.” Then he’s gone; and the loss of his name is almost as hard as the loss of Tommy. 

He stares at the door in shock until his phone rings. It’s Maddie, calling to see how things went.

and lastly but not leastly because this is my favorite part! Throwing out some tags so I can see what yall are working on!

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@piratefalls @exhaustedpirate @hyperfocusthusly @quintessenceofdust88 and anyone else who wants to join in!

[reidsbookclub]

Yours Truly Spencer Reid x fem! reader WC: 2555  fluff pure fluff tw: mentions of Gideon's death

AN: ending is a bit rushed but when I copy & pasted here I accidentally deleted it and couldn’t recall everything I wrote 😩

It’s been three months living with the knowledge that Gideon is no longer there. His conversation with Rossi was haunting him in the middle of the night. “I know I’m not being very rational,” he had told Rossi, “but I think about him all the time. And I knew he was always out there, now it just feels empty.” Rossi’s words still echoed in his mind. “Maybe you’ll find something else to fill the empty space.” He couldn’t even begin to imagine finding anything that would fill the void of now knowing that his mentor would no longer be just a call away. He needed to find a way to feel close to him, so he put pen to paper and did what he knew best: he started writing Gideon letters with the intent of them being addressed to fire. He put pen to paper and tried to connect it to the cloudy thoughts of his brain. After a couple of hours he fell asleep with the warmth of the fireplace enclosing him in a hug. 

Not even in his wildest dreams did he ever thing that letter would get read and replied to. 

It had been three months since her godfather Jason had passed away, three months of losing the only father figure she had had. If she didn’t know any better she could’ve sworn that he was still around, his presence felt throughout the small cabin she was inherited.  Stephen, Jason’s son, had delivered a letter stating such. The simple letter in the testament read, “Y/N, just know that a very good friend of mine holds a key to this cabin, he might drop by if he feels the need to feel close to me, or just an escape from the darkness of this world. Be kind to him, Dr. Reid needs some warmth, kindness and love in his life.”  

Days later she found a piece of paper on the floor of the cabin. She really needed to seal the mail slot on the door and install a mailbox.  But she couldn’t help but let out a gasp on who sent it, the Dr. Reid in her godfather's letter. 

Dear Gideon,  It’s been three months since you’ve passed and I can’t help but ask why I never reached out to you when you left the BAU. 

Oh. So he’s a coworker. She wondered if he helped found the BAU alongside Rossi and her godfather, suddenly wondering if Dr. Reid had many stories about her godfather’s younger days.  Silencing her thoughts, she continued reading. 

You know how I’m a specialist at overthinking everything and I just can’t help but wonder if I still have a place in the BAU now that you’ve gone. 

Who is this Dr. Reid? 

Gideon I’m becoming a mastermind at vanishing into the deep thoughts of my brain in the middle of the night. Midnights have now become my afternoons. I miss the talks we used to have. If I’m being honest I’m finding it so hard to find my place with the team now that I can’t just hide in your office. Can you believe Morgan invited me out to the club? Me. 

Club? Was Dr. Reid not an old guy like her godfather or was Morgan just being nice and inviting a mentor out to drinks?  Curiosity getting the best of her, she continued reading the letter, hoping to get more answers on who Dr. Reid really is. 

You always used to say my first degree was running away into the deep thoughts of my mind but I think I have added a fourth Ph.D to my resume and that’s being my own worst enemy. 

Multiple Phds? She couldn’t even finish school. Who was this guy? 

You know how hard it is to admit it to myself but I miss you Gideon. Sometimes I still talk to you when I feel like screaming at the sky, angry that you left me with nothing but a letter, just like everyone else that had ever left me did, but I can't be angry at you.  -SSA Agent Reid…. Yes I know, Gideon. I need to make people respect me. So I guess I’m signing off as, SSA Doctor Spencer Reid. 

He wouldn’t need to make people respect him if he wasn’t young? Would he? Not being able to get her mind off the mysterious Dr. Reid, she decided to write him a letter.

Coming back from a demanding case always felt like a relief and the worst thing in the world at the same time. Relief for finally being home and the worst thing because once you’re home, warm in bed, your mind starts reliving every little thing you could’ve done differently. This night would be different. Spencer was greeted at the door by his Russian Blue cat named Atticus and a tea-stained letter on his mailbox. 

Dr. Spencer Reid, I must admit that receiving a letter addressed to my godfather was surprising, I fully apologize for opening and reading your letter, I assumed you meant for no one to read it. Have you ever been to my godfather Jason’s cabin? If you have, then you must know that there is a small town that is 15 miles away. I went there earlier today and down the block from the main road there is a small antique shop. I stopped and entered, always curious about the stories that old items have, who owned them? Were they special to them or just small trinkets, why did the owner sell them? All these questions. No answers. Anyways, there was a box filled with old drawings and photographs. 25 cents each and I couldn't help but buy some because they all reminded me of you.  You must think I'm insane for saying that something reminded me of you when we have never met, so please don’t profile that too much, anyways, these photographs had me imagining things. It's crazy. Heck, I don’t even know anything about you. Yes, I could look it up but where's the fun in that? Is it crazy that I can’t help myself and imagine who you are? That I cannot help but think of all of these little scenarios making a film about your life. I’ve been rambling too much about nonsense so take care Dr. Reid.   - Hope you stay safe  Y/N

Reid read and re-read the surprise letter. Atticus on his lap sleeping. Goddaughter, why couldn't he recall Gideon ever mentioning a goddaughter. Who was she? Based on the letter she rambled…a lot and got excited about the most random things. Reid let out a soft giggle startling Atticus. “I think…I think I want to write another letter, Atticus. She seems fun to talk to, don't you think?” 

Silence. That is all she heard for three long weeks cursing herself for responding to his letter the way that she did.  He must’ve thought she was nothing but a foolish petulant child with her dreaming and fantasizing about different worlds and what ifs. Just as she was wondering if she should write another letter apologizing she heard the unmistakable sound of papers being thrown into the mail slot. “Thank you!” she shouted through the door to the mailman. One coffee-stained envelope standing out over the spam ads she got.

Dear Y/N, I must admit writing a letter to you seems a bit strange so please bear with me if I seem   awkward,  I promise I am working on it. Shit I spilled some coffee on the paper, hopefully its not that noticeable. Who am I kidding of course it will be noticeable. Well I am hoping you like coffee smells. Ms. Y/N I hope that the letter I sent you did not cause you any more grief, and please feel free to…how did you put it? “ramble much about nonsense” to me at any time. I thought it was cute. Well now I am thankful you cannot see the blush I have because Derek is sure making fun of me at the moment. I’m sorry that it seems like forever since you last replied to me but the case we had was taking a toll on me and I couldn’t seem to taint your sunshineness with the darkness of the case. I just wanted to let you know that the way you make time disappear everytime i re-read your letter brings me calmness, and brings me hope that maybe someday we could become friends. Please always continue telling me about the little what if scenarios that help you make my life seem more interesting than it is. I find it adorably cute that you do these things. Now I can’t help but wonder if you will think I am just a boring old man that sits in the corner of a dark room– I promise I am not. Anyways, a little about myself I have a cat named Atticus, I enjoy stimulating my brain by learning new things which is how I got three Phds. You can always find me with coffee and a good book and—fucking hell I sound boring as fuck and you give off the impression of being this magnetic carefree beautiful person.   Great, now I am overthinking everything I have said so far – everyone knows that afterall i am a specialist at doing so.  Thats all for now  Sincerely, Spencer Reid. 

She couldn’t help but giggle. All throughout the letter Spencer sounded just like the type of person that she would love to get to know further. Someone that in another life would be considered a tortured poet, living amongst the rest of them in the peacefulness of the lakes, someone that would be rubbing elbows with Wordsworth and Austen. As she re-read the letter she was trying to ignore the blush that spread across her cheeks at Spencer using the word cute in reference to her. One thing was certain that she would be holding on to her pen-pal because for some reason he made her feel a way no other person was able to do. 

It had been two months since the initial letter that started this newfound friendship Spencer found himself in. The only thing that has kept him going were the weekly letters that Y/N has been sending him. They’re weekly letters always bringing a smile to his face and giving him the necessary “push” in between cases. This new letter brought an even bigger smile to his face and the sudden urge to finally drive up to that cabin and meet the person that has been holding his mind captive all day. 

Dear Spencer,  How is Atticus doing? I know you were planning on adopting a kitten to keep Atticus company while you are away. May I suggest a cute little white cat? Or a ginger cat? Maybe one named  Arlo or Agatha or something old  literature sounding. How have you been? Are the headaches gone? Today I went down to the small village that is close by and there is this new coffee place and I couldn’t help but think about how much you would like it. Would you be interested in ever meeting me there? Keeping this one short and sweet because i did kinda sorta just ask you out and anxiety is at an all time high  - Y/N

There was one thing that Spencer learned that night and that was that for the first time in years he allowed himself to hope that maybe just maybe the person he was falling for was falling right alongside him. 

Girls night. Oh how she missed her friends ever since moving into the cabin. It had taken a lot of convincing but she had finally managed to get her friends up for the weekend. In the middle of drinks she started gushing about Spencer and their friendship. She was telling her friends about the cute pen-pal she had and how she had taken the leap to ask him out. “Ha. What a loser do you really think that and FBI agent will take the time to come and meet someone as boring as you?” Her so-called best friend Lindsey had said, her words ringing in her ear drink after drink. How could she be so foolish thinking that a guy as smart as Spencer would ever confess his love to her. It had been a cold reminder that she was not the exception, that after years of this happening she had not learned her lesson that fairy tale endings did not happen to girls like her. So, for the first time in the two months they had been communicating instead of answering his letter she burned it, eventually leaving him at the coffee house waiting, glued to his chair instead of meeting her for the first time. The following week the first of many daily letters arrived in which he kept asking her why. 

Dear Y/N, Did I do something wrong? Did you move on? Help me because in my mind I'm still at that coffee shop collecting dust wondering where you are, wondering why you didn’t show up. If you ever think you may have got it wrong and want to meet, I will be at that coffee shop every Friday at 7 waiting for my sunshine to show up.  Yours truly, Spencer 

Three weeks. It had been three long weeks since he had heard from her, so he decided to take the initiative and for the first time since Gideon’s death he used the key he had left him. The drive to the cabin was filled with anxious thoughts. Would she be happy to see him? Did she meet someone while they were writing letters? 

Walking into the cabin he could smell something baking and the unmistaken sound of laughter coming from the small kitchen, making his way around the cabin he caught a glimpse of her dancing around the kitchen, “wow you are even more beautiful than I ever thought.” he said catching her off guard. “Who the fuck are you and how did you get in here?” she yelled “Oh–i–right yeah i – Spen–Rei–Doctor” he let out a puff of air, “Hi, I’m Spencer Reid. Gideon actually gave me a key to this place.” he smiled softly as crimson crept across her face. “Oh, hi wh–a–what are you doing here?” “I was worried about you” he mumbled

“Oh” In any other situation awkward silence would have followed but not between them, instead fits of laughter happened. “I’m sorry I blew you off Spencer” taking a deep breath she continued, “its just… a friend reminded me that girls like me don’t get the cute guys” Taking a step close to her spencer began rubbing circles in her wrist with his thumb “Y/N whoever said that is not a friend. I fell for the personality that shined through the letters we exchanged, I couldn’t care less about what you looked like you were already perfect in my mind and now that I am seeing you I can confirm that you are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met” They spend that whole weekend together, the days consisting of  baking, stargazing and teaching Y/N how to play chess and nights filled with cuddles, kissing and watching movies together.

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