#TRESS

[calicolen]

General cosmere spoilers

I joke about how many cosmere plots involve "soup."

Vin ascended with god soup

TenSoon was briefly turned into soup

Kelsier got locked in place because of god soup

Marasi, with the help of others, drank Autonomy's soup portal

Tress manipulated little midnight soup creatures

Kilahito was surrounded by evil ai generated art soup

The Sun turned the landscape of Canticle into soup

Rock brought bridge 4 together with soup stew

Surely Lift ate some soup

Venli found god soup

Ishar drank god soup

Neziham 😬

[emily-e-draws]

verdant vines 🌱

[wgm-beautiful-world]

Autumn colors

[charasthetics]

Tress of the Emerald Sea

[cosmerelists]

How Cosmere Characters Would Deal With Getting a Bad Haircut

1. Shallan

She and her alters have a big fight about it.

Shallan: Look, it's all fine. I'll lightweave my hair to look normal. Forever. Veil: Hats, Shallan. H-A-T-S. Hats hide all sins! Shallan: I don't wear hats as Shallan! Radiant: [hopefully holds up a pair of scissors and a shaving razor] No hair? No bad haircut! Shallan: I AM NOT SHAVING MY HEAD

2. Sarene

Asks everybody if they like her new haircut, just to be a little shit.

Sarene (talking to a hapless court lady): Yeah, the style was my idea. I'm SO glad you like it! Sarene: You should get the same one when you go!

3. Dalinar

Honestly and sincerely does not care.

Navani: You know that I love you, but it looks as though your hair was cut by an assassin trying to scalp you with a rusty knife. Dalinar: Used to cut my hair myself with a knife. Dalinar: Honestly, it looked better then. Dalinar: But eh.

4. Tress

Immediately regrets her impulse to be accommodating in all situations.

Tress: ...and then I said I loved it... 😞 Charlie (putting a sympathetic hand on her shoulder): W-We'll get someone else to fix it!

5. Leshwi

Floats ever higher in the sky.

Leshwi: From up here, no one can see my terrible haircut. Leshwi: Yes, the train of my robe is approximately 47 pounds, but it is a small price to pay. Kaladin: Hello! Leshwi: ...Almost no one.

6. Steris

Withdraws from society for exactly 16 days.

Steris: It is how long it takes for my hair to look presentable again. Wax: I really don't think it's that noticeable!

7. Adolin

Goes to another hairdresser to get it fixed. He does allow everyone to playfully roast him in the meantime, though.

Shallan: I think you should have kept it. Shallan: Men everywhere would have felt just a little bit better about themselves. Kaladin: It would have been a great advantage in battle, too. Kaladin: Scaring your opponent right off the bat. Adolin: I wear a helmet in battle, you know. Kaladin: Eh, that's a bit less scary than the hair was.

8. Vin

Let's be real. Sazed would never give her a bad haircut and if he did, he would fix it.

Sazed: I am sorry, again, that I sneezed while cutting your hair. Vin: It's really okay. Sazed: I think we can make the half shaved, half long haircut into a new style if we play it right. Sazed: We'll call it "punk." Elend: I think it looks nice. Sazed: See? It's already trending.

9. Jasnah

Kills her hairdresser. Just kidding! Probably.

Wit (holding a pair of scissors): Would it help if I told you that this, uh, style is all the rage on the far-off planet of Nalthis? Jasnah: Tell me. How confident are you in your immortality? Wit: Never less confident than in this moment.

10. Kaladin

Despite how horribly botched his haircut was, Kaladin's hair somehow looks entirely normal.

Kaladin: [standing nearby, hair blowing dramatically in the breeze] Adolin (muttering): How does he do it?? Shallan: It is honestly infuriating.

[renarines]

its a day of the week in a month in a year which means im thinking about tress (of the emerald sea, of course!) !!!

ft. my first ever little rat doodle !!!

[piano-hoarder]

Cosmere books as bad news headlines

• "Young woman of questionable parentage kills god after eating copious amounts of metal"

• "Apple voice assistant marries mute rainbow god after sister defeats army of undead alongside hobo and talking sword"

• "City of zombies saved by angry man in armor and friendly chef's niece"

• "Depressed people snort lightning, use it to fight lobsters the size of battleships." (idea credit to @Elisabeth_Wheatley on YouTube)

• "Cowboy makes deal with the new god"

• "Girl and mouse boyfriend undo curse on cabin boy"

• "Man cheats death by stabbing his own eye, forms intergalactic gang"

• "Young woman stacks rocks to destroy computer"

• "Dehydrated young man unites senators against himself"

• "Man with PTSD breaks All the Rules, upsets mentor while running from sunrise"

• "Man(??) avoids eternal punishment from several sources while roasting everyone in existence"

[querade]

*deep breath in*

THANK YOU COSMERE TUMBLR FOR BEING SO GOOD WITH SPOILER TAGS!! I LOVE YOU ALL!!

-someone (me) yet to read wind and truth who is on tumblr daily

[magnusbae]

Brandon Sanderson || art: Karl Gussow // Jean Claude Kabongo // George Frederic Watts

[lamaery]

3 Bamboo

Yay, secret project mashup. Painter decorating a new tea cup for Tress. :)

[kimiko24]

Soulful Osa by X

[curlyradiant]

Cosmere Inktober day 8: Goop

Tress is the lucky recipient of Fort's cooking. (She's not sure she wants to be.)

[esstrella]

𝓐𝓻𝓽 ⊹𐙚🏹

[blog-bellle]

Source: Spectrum, Fb.

[loweffortletterer]

[cosmerelists]

Should You Copy These Cosmere Characters' Homework?

[Teacher voice] Of course, you should NEVER actually copy someone's homework, but... if you WERE going to copy someone's homework and you happened to be in the same class as these Cosmere characters, would it be a good idea to copy their homework in particular?

1. Dalinar: No

You tried it once. Dalinar told you that it's okay to fail sometimes, as long as you do better next time. Then he patted you on the shoulder and walked away. It was a little bit infuriating.

2. Elend: Yes

You know Elend's the smart kid in school. And he does kinda like to disobey authority too... As long as the teacher is a jerk, you should be safe asking Elend to help you pull one over on her.

3. Nale: No

Nale not only won't let you copy his homework, but he's telling the teacher you tried.

4. Renarin: Yes

If you ask Renarin if you can copy his homework, he'll end up helping you finish the homework instead. Not what you asked for or expected, but hey. At least it's done. The weird part is that he seemed like he was expecting this...

5. Painter: Sure

If you venture into the oddly dark corner where Painter is sitting and ask if you can borrow his homework, he'll say something like, "So...you were desperate enough to come to me?" But actually, his homework is pretty okay. He didn't pour his heart & soul into this assignment or anything, but that is a solid C right there.

6. Breeze: No

Breeze was kinda hoping to copy your homework so, you know, it's a little awkward now.

7. Siri: No

Siri also didn't do the homework. She's doing it right now, as fast as she possibly can, and she doesn't really have time for you at the moment.

8. Tress: Yes

Tress will want to help out, and her homework is gonna be in good shape, too. She also told you that she noticed you've seemed extra stressed and sad lately, so she made you this blueberry muffin. Y-You just met her last week!

9. Taravangian: No

There are only two ways this can play out. Either he says yes right away but the homework is horribly incorrect, or he says no and you just know that homework is perfect. There's no winning with this guy.

10. Shai: If you can afford it...

Shai has several copies of the homework, each different. Seriously, different handwriting, slightly different mistakes, different food stains....It's downright elaborate. She does charge a lot of money for one, though.

11. Steris: No

Steris' homework is done. It's perfect. But she's not gonna let you copy it, so.

12. Adolin: Yes

Adolin's homework won't be perfect (for one thing, he can't read), but he'd still be happy to help out. It's probably kinda correct, right?

13. Vivenna: No

I mean, you can try, but she's keeping it covered and glaring at you with a truly terrifying expression.

14. Kaladin: No!

You'll give the poor guy a crisis of conscience! He'll want to help you because you're in need, but he won't want to help you because helping you would be cheating. Don't do that to our boy.

15. Shallan: Sure!

Shallan studies hard, and she doesn't judge. Just...ignore the weird drawing in the margin of the many-headed beasts consuming the world. I-It probably means nothing!

16. Moash: No

Moash will give you all the wrong answers. He'll happily fail this assignment if it means taking you down too!

17. Jasnah: No

The look she gives you when she calmly asks, "Oh, did you not do the homework?" will haunt you for weeks. It's just not worth it, man!

18. Sarene: It's risky...

With Sarene, you never can tell whether her homework will be pristinely correct...or whether she'll give you the most ridiculous joke-answers that will make your teacher hand back your paper with that really sad frowny face on it.

S-She still got 100%, though! Did she give you decoy homework??