#The feeling however...
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asmuchasidliketo · 2 months ago
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#i don't like the word failure because it seems like. sentence pronounced the end #but i have been thinking about something like this a lot in terms of disability #like i saw a post awhile back that said something like 'stop beating yourself up over wasted potential. no you couldn't have' #like 'stop thinking about everything you could have accomplished if only you had tried harder. you did try. it just didn't work' #i think that's what this post is saying. not to declare yourself or your life a failure full stop the end #but to be like... huh. my whole life i was told i could do anything if i tried hard and believed in myself. so *that* was a fucking lie tags by @maculategiraffe
About ten years ago I decided that the next step I needed to take in my life was to accept and explore what it meant to be a failure and to have failed. This infuriated almost everybody in my life and clearly terrified a lot of people. People do not want you to accept failure. They dont want you to like... Sit with and think about it and pick it up and turn it arpund in your hands and really examine it. They want you to keep throwing yourself against the impossible walls until your body explodes! They do not want you to say "alright then, I've failed. What does that mean for me? Im still here. What does the life of someone who has failed look like?"
This makes people very angry and panicky.
My mental health improved in ways it had not in the previous DECADE once I stopped. And. Sat. With failure. And thought about what my failure ... Was. And looked at the structures that produced it and examined them critically.
It is so taboo to fail and admit it openly and talk about it. It is so taboo to talk about or think about failure in an accepting way rather than hiding it shamefully until you experience a degree of success in some area which allows you to present the past failure as "a stepping stone" to your current situation. Fuck that. We are put in positions of guaranteed failure by society every day and then punished and shamed for it. Lets fucking talk about failure
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gibbearish · 2 years ago
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love when ppl defend the aggressive monetization of the internet with "what, do you just expect it to be free and them not make a profit???" like. yeah that would be really nice actually i would love that:)! thanks for asking
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roebeanstalk · 2 years ago
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reblog to manifest gender euphoria for the person you reblogged this from
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hayden-christensen · 2 months ago
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HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN Attends a re-release screening of 'Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith' for it's 20th anniversary | April 25, 2025.
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erinwantstowrite · 2 months ago
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the dynamic for damian and tim should be "i want my older brother's approval but i could never let him know that or he'll be so annoying" and here's my pitch: think about damian doing smth reckless and being scolded, feeling incredibly bummed out, and then tim tells him "that was sick as hell actually those losers don't get it" and then damian's mood instantly lifting and telling tim all of the little details about how he pulled it off
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the-inner-musings-of-a-worm · 2 months ago
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jeremy does not like neil. neil came to visit jean and jean came back spiraling. neil knows things about jean that jeremy does not. he is a short, suspicious, menace of a man. all of this to say that it is the funniest thing on earth to both the foxes and the trojans that jeremy knox, captain sunshine and rainbows, gets along better with andrew minyard than neil josten.
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tomlivingspace · 6 months ago
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ivypool musings. i need their cat marriage to be loveless
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wanderingibon · 7 months ago
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" I noticed that you've been smiling more, Lucanis. "
" ...Have I? ...Si, I suppose I have been. "
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catmask · 2 years ago
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does anyone have like an anti aesthetic. like something you look at and can recognize as a complete fashion/interior design/artistic movement and understand it but it makes you shudder seeing it. i am not talking like “its morally bad” “its poorly structured” like just sheerly devoid of joy for you actually invites a repulse response.
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hinamie · 9 months ago
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in spite of everything, I had fun <3
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overworked-underfucked13 · 2 months ago
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Is it bad that I have wet dreams about getting raped and used by my male coworkers? 😵‍💫 I’m so fucking cockstarved istg
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corkinavoid · 2 months ago
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DPxDC Ignorantia Neminem Excusat
(Ignorance excuses no one, lat.)
"Commissioner."
Jim Gordon doesn't jump. They are years and years into this rodeo, he's stopped actually jumping at Batman's silent approach a long time ago. Yet, Bruce still notices the way his shoulders twitch just the tiniest bit, and his hand makes an aborted motion to his gun holster. Still got it.
The man turns around. Bruce can see the 'must you always do that?' in his slightly narrowed eyes. He presses his lips tightly together in order to not smirk: Batman doesn't do that, even if it's admittedly funny to see the seasoned Commissioner get spooked every time.
"There's a kid that wants to speak with you."
Bruce frowns. A kid that warranted a BatSignal? Not that he minds, but this is highly unusual for several reasons; however, Jim is not the kind of man that would fall for puppy eyes of any level, so it must be something more important than an autograph session or a victim of any of the recent cases.
Besides, the way Commissioner worded it implies that the kid, whoever they are, requested Batman specifically.
"He is a hacker," Jim puts both his hands in the pockets of his coat — he is either cold or uncomfortable, and Bruce highly suspects it's both. What's more, he starts to understand why. "I'm sure you're aware we were trying to track the person responsible for the few recent cyber attacks on GCPD servers," Jim glances at him, and Bruce nods. He is aware, yes, but the case was low-priority — it wasn't even an attack, really, someone just accessed the system foregoing the passwords and clearance levels, went through a few files, seemingly at random, and did a fairly decent job of hiding their traces. Bruce would have even thought it was Tim, if this happened a few years ago, when the boy was just learning the ropes.
Commissioner sighs and looks away, "But when we brought him in, the boy said he will only speak to you, and none of us have been able to make him say a word since." He pauses, a grim kind of expression on his face, "This was six hours ago."
Bruce is grateful for the way his cowl hides how his eyebrows raise. There are hundreds of scripts officers, detectives, and social workers can use to establish contact. Quite a lot of them could be attempted in the span of six hours.
Whatever the kid wants to tell him, Bruce decides it's worth a try. If not anything else, he can at least admire the sheer stubbornness.
—×—×—×—
The kid sitting in the interrogation room looks... younger than Bruce expected. Fifteen, maybe sixteen. He is dressed like any other homeless kid in Gotham — a hoodie and a jacket over it, jeans that look a size too big on him, sneakers with mismatched shoelaces — but he clearly hasn't been out in the streets for that long. His hair is braided into cornrows, and it looks professional, even if the roots have grown out so now it's just messy. What's more, he is missing that telltale wariness in his posture that Bruce has seen in every other street kid that has been brought into a police station. They always slouch and curl into themselves.
This boy is sitting with his back straight. Yet, there's a tension in his body that Bruce can only associate with a battle stance — give him the slightest reason, and the kid will lunge.
He steps into the room.
The boy — he hadn't given a name, and there wasn't a single ID on him — zeroes on him instantly. His eyes are a very pale, almost translucent green: a rather strange feature for a black-skinned person, genetically speaking, but Bruce doesn't dwell on it. Yet.
But then, the face recognition program comes up empty.
As in, 'there's not a trace of this person's prior existence' empty. Not a single camera footage, no records or reports of missing, no pictures, no social media, nothing. Bruce frowns.
"Hi," the kid says, his voice raspy, "My name is Tucker Foley. According to the government, I don't exist, so if your recognition program doesn't find anything on me, that's why."
Bruce doesn't say anything. Tucker wanted to speak with him, and previously, he was only merely intrigued by that request. However, as of right now, he wants to hear everything the kid has to say before asking any follow-up questions.
Because that always present, cautious and bordering on paranoid voice in the back of his mind tells him he is about to get into something way more serious than he expected.
Tucker moves — he kept both his hands on the table, palms open and visible, but now he closes one into a fist. Although, before Bruce can react to it, he opens it again. A small, the size of a flash-drive, dimly glowing green object rests inside.
"Do you know what this is?" The boy asks. He hasn't looked away from Batman's face once; Bruce is not even sure he blinked at all since he entered the room. Come to think of it, even with his tense, rigid posture, Tucker is too still, almost unnervingly so.
Bruce glances down to the boy's hand.
"Yes," he answers curtly, and there it is, the smallest shift in Tucker's face: he clenches his jaw like he's trying to hold the words inside his mouth. Bruce doesn't like it.
"What is it?" Comes the next question, but it's not curiosity that prompts it. It's a test of some sort. Bruce likes that even less.
"A power source," he decides on a neutral answer, not entirely certain what the boy is expecting to hear.
It seems to be a wrong answer because for the first time, Tucker's emotions slip from under his mask, and he takes a sharp breath in, looking like Bruce had just slapped him across the face. It lasts only a moment — Tucker closes his eyes for a moment, slowly exhales, and speaks again, calm and focused once more.
"And what exactly powers it?"
It's an important question, judging by the desperate, searching look in Tucker's eyes. His hands are not shaking, and there are no visible signs of distress, but for some reason, Bruce just knows that the boy's whole life seems to depend on the answer.
But.
"It's classified." Bruce doesn't take his eyes off the boy, but he still fails to see when he gets to his feet; the movement is quicker than the blink of an eye. All he knows is the aftermath of it, the screech of the chair legs on the floor and the loud slam of Tucker's palms on the table.
"Fuck the classified!" The boy yells, his face twisting in an awful mix of anger, hurt and a broken, terrified sort of hopelessness that almost breaks Bruce from the inside. "I need to know what they've told you, I have to- Tell me you think it's just a battery! Tell me you've never broke one to see what's inside, tell me you believe in science! They've showed you the research, didn't they?" Tucker's voice, so agonizingly different from the composed way he was talking before, breaks into a sobbing, almost hysterical laugh. His pale eyes are wide open and almost panicked, searching Batman's face for something he is not sure he can find.
"Tell me you've never seen one being made," this time, the boy doesn't yell, he whispers, his breath hitching and his knuckles white. "Please," he adds a moment later, and Bruce knows this kind of plea.
It's the plea of someone who is begging for the world to have mercy on them. A plea of a boy standing on their parents' grave, a plea of a man kneeled in front of his son's corpse.
Bruce swallows the bitter taste on the back of his tongue and takes a step closer. He sees the boy in front of him lean back and bend his knees, like bracing for impact, but he answers before any more misunderstandings can occur.
"I have seen the research. It provided enough information that I've never investigated further," he offers, and Tucker's shoulders slump like months and months of living in a constant state of fight-or-flight leaving his body all at once. Then, the boy's hands start trembling just slightly.
"Really?" He quietly asks, his eyes still glued to Batman, and there it is, the hesitant, uncertain hint of hope in his voice.
Bruce suddenly feels like not only this talk will be much, much worse than he ever feared, but also like in the end this will be another one of the things he will be blaming himself for. Things he could have prevented if he just tried a little harder.
"Really," he nods, taking a seat opposite from Tucker. "So explain what I've missed."
The boy keeps looking at him for a few more seconds, like trying to x-ray his thoughts for any sign of a lie. But then he blinks — for the first time, maybe — and rubs his face with his palm before all but dropping back in his own seat.
"Okay," he breathes out, evidently trying to collect himself and go back to the strong, focused self, "Okay."
[ part 2 -> ]
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glowcowboy · 1 year ago
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i have started asking myself “how can i make this more fun?” in regards to the things i have to do and it is such a small difference but it brings me so much delight
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chinzhilla · 4 months ago
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right... renter.
+bonus: yeah, it's him
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cthulhum · 11 months ago
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i lied theres no sex. were gonna sit down and watch supernatural while we analyze the way almost every character is queer coded especially dean
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flowersforthemachines · 4 months ago
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Note: those were ripped directly from the game files, as they aren't included in the OST. You can also listen to them in this playlist on PinkyJulien's Youtube channel or in this playlist by Slow Walkthroughs.
My DAVG Extracted Audio Masterlist
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