#Tim: isn't that your third time getting shot this week?

[sademonugget]

Headcanon that all of the batfam hides their injuries, but not in a "I don't want to be a burden, so I won't tell them I got hurt" kind of way, they just do it subconsciously.

Bruce trained them how to walk normally despite being sore, to nobody at galas would suspect anything. So if Dick got shot in the thigh, but had to make an appearance at an important event, no one would even notice he was hurt. He was trained to not limp despite the pain, trained to go against every survival instinct and put pressure on a bullet hole while smiling.

Bruce did this with all his kids and they got so good at it that they do it at home unconsciously. If Jason came home from a tough patrol, the only sign people would get is that he was injured was the fact he was actively bleeding out from a knife that was still in his arm. He acted that normally, because acting normal became normal to him. (If that makes sense.)

Damian already knew how to do this because of Ra's Al Gul, and it took months for the family to notice when he got hurt, because he was that good at acting. (Jon was horrified when Damian stubbed his toe and continues on like nothing had happened. Not even being a Super could stop the pain of a stubbed pinky toe)

Tim is worse than the rest of the fam at hiding it, so he just avoids them. If he hurt his ankle on patrol because he grappled wrong and hit a building, using his foot as a shield, he just wouldn't stand up. He would conveniently be sitting down or reclining on something whenever someone came into the room. But he's sitting down most the time anyway, so they would have no idea he shattered the bone in his foot.

Cass would be talking to someone from another room, talking completely fine and normal, nothing out of the ordinary until they walk into the room and she's stitching up her leg from a wound that a medical professional would faint at the sight of.

Bruce is the worst of all of them. Alfred forced him to get checked for injuries after most serious fights, because trying to get him to go after every patrol was a like beating a dead horse. (AKA: pointless)

I don't think they're afraid of being seen as weak, they've just been trained to not let anyone see that they got hurt. No one can see their pain, internal or external. Bruce may have trained dangerous vigilantes, but he also trained kids who can easily take a bullet and continue on with their day, and thats actually terrifying.

[brucewaynehater101]

Time traveling Tim AU, but he was never Robin:

In the first timeline, Jason never dies. For the plot's sake, let's just say Sheila was found out and arrested. Jason never runs away, but he does end up crashing at Dick's place for a while.

Jason eventually takes on a new mantle (not Red Hood).

A few weeks after this, Bruce sees a purple vigilante fluttering about. She thus becomes the third Robin.

That relationship isn't the best, so Steph eventually sheds the Robin mantle for a batgirl one (not sure how Cass fits in quite yet).

This is in time for Damian to pop up and become Robin.

All of that is background information that Tim keeps track of in the OG timeline. He never becomes part of the batfam.

When his mom dies and his dad is thrown into a coma, Tim does the fake uncle stuff. Tim's dad wakes up. They don't have a big blowup about Robin, but they also don't really know each other. They try, but it's intensely exhausting trying to navigate their grief, stress, lies, and lack of relationship with each other.

Tim goes out one night to hang with one of his friends.

He doesn't get his dad's call.

He comes home to his father murdered.

Batman puts Captain Boomerang away and doesn't look into Tim's established fake uncle. Since the uncle has already looked after Tim once, Bruce has his hands full with the other kids, and Tim is just a civilian, Bruce leaves him alone.

And Tim? He's fucking pissed. He was finally starting to get a relationship with his dad, and this guy took that away from him. Jail doesn't feel like enough.

Tim can't take him on like this, though. If Batman won't get him the justice Tim craves, the teen will just do it himself.

So Tim's uncle declares the teen is going abroad to get away from his grief as well as learn from an international boarding school. Tim manages Drake Industries remotely as he goes to Paris to train.

He gets much of the same training he did in his early Robin years, and that whole arc plays out. Tim isn't Robin, though. He kills.

He regrets it, he despises it, but he tries to convince himself it's necessary. If he's going to get revenge for his dad, he'll kill later anyways.

He, unfortunately, also catches the eye of Ra's. He accepts the man's offer to train and tries to becomes okay with killing.

Eventually, Tim leaves. He promises to return to Ra's at a later date after fulfilling his revenge.

When it comes down to it, when Boomerang is about to die from his own choices, Tim backs out. He becomes horrified with what he's allowed himself to become. His hands are stained red, and Tim doesn't believe he'll ever wash it off.

Batman finds out about Tim and tries to tell him he did good by letting Boomerang go (because their relationship is obviously different here. Bruce sees a kid used to killing refraining and not his son about to kill). Tim, so absorbed in his own guilt, flees.

He becomes obsessed with fixing his mistakes (which Tim... buddy... Maybe the issue is you getting so absorbed in your goals and losing sight of what matters/your morals). He accidentally slings his consciousness back to when he was nine.

He's nine, has the memories of an adult (he was about 19 by the time he got shot back), and thinks he needs to pay for his sins. Thus, he becomes an independent vigilante/informant. He drops information off with Batman or other heroes.

Most estimate his age to be between 25-30, and he's known for finding information, clues, and people when others can't. He is also known for vehemently being against murder (though, due to his time with LoA, he sometimes suggests cruel methods).

When Jason first goes missing, Tim instantly notifies Bruce.

Jason still dies.

Tim blames himself. By going back to the past, he's obviously condemned Jason to die. It's Tim's fault (butterfly effect sucks ass. Not Tim's fault, but guilt also sucks).

From Tim's time in LoA, he monitors them. He will thwart certain plans if he can get away with it without them noticing. He's also in their system.

This is how he learns about Jason.

His vigilante persona, known for finding even the impossible, brings evidence of Jason's existence to a grieving Bruce as well as proof of Damian.

[yllem]

My Grandma Died

I have avoided this post for a long time. Today is January 2nd, 2024. I haven't written in several months and this is a very hard post to make.

Mid October was one of the craziest weeks of my life. Let's start with Monday:

October 16th: I hear that the first client I ever signed is looking to get out of their contract. I win $170 in an NFL pick em's league. Low. High. I receive a call from Kelli, Bruce's girlfriend. This seemed weird. It was after 11pm in Ohio and she does not call me. I answer the phone expecting bad news. My dad had been in Ohio a lot in 2023 visiting his parents, mostly my grandpa who was not doing very well. I was prepared to hear the hard words from Kelli.

She says something like: "Melly, I don't know how else to say this, but I can imagine you know that I'm not calling with good news. Grandma had a stroke. She's in a coma and it's a matter of days. We can't get ahold of your dad." I shot up in bed. GRANDMA? I immediately call Laura who I know will be across the hall. She relays the message to which he responds "whaaaaaaat" three times. I forgot to mention the coma, but he goes to call Bruce. On the phone with Laura I hear him reenter the room, she is in the kitchen with mom, and say "yeah, my mom is going to die."

While all of this is going on, Bob is in the hospital. They think he may have cancer.

The rest of the week is sad. Dad does not give any updates to me, so I hear everything from Laura. There isn't much to say.

October 19th, 2023: Dad sends a text at 1:34pm letting us know grandma has passed away. It is all very surprising and fast. Mom calls me. She says it's the best ending for her. She was a worrier and didn't have to feel scared about dying. She didn't have to deal with the pain or suffering of sickness. Her ending, while surprising, was very peaceful.

I still feel the emptiness that she filled. The sadness is different than when grandpa had died last August.

October 21st: Mom and Laura leave for Ohio. Dad calls asking if Joe can stay with Belle. He's been attacked by two pitbulls on the run and needs to get stitches. Tim continues to be a pain in the ass about when we will leave together for Ohio (has flag football and softball on Monday nights). He eventually comes to his senses.

October 22nd: I am in Chicago because Joe and I have fall ball playoffs. Our team has a chance at the championship. We win game one and go on to the 3pm game. This team has only one loss: to us the weekend prior. During the second or third inning a girl on our team has her first seizure in the dugout. Her parents were not there. She had mentioned a strong headache and then that she couldn't see. She started a groaning cry before collapsing in Bob and Joe's arms who were steadying her. A mom on the other team is a nurse and times everything. She is a great help. The player is taken away by ambulance with her younger sister. She makes a full recovery. The team goes on to win, not by one like last weekend, but by 7. We lose in the championship on the 24th, but it was a great team to be a part of.

October 23rd: Tim and I go to Ohio and it is sad. It is sad to see my grandpa who spent more than 65 years loving her and all of her quirks. They spent every day together and I'm sure she filled much of his quiet days brought on by old age.

October 24th: Everyone worried about grandpa during the wake. The casket is closed because Grandpa says that's what she wanted. Mousey, Danny, Dee Dee, Mark, Grandma, Eileen, Tom, and Anita come. The funeral is sad as Bruce's friend Frank chokes up during the funeral. Dad, Tim, Taylor, Bruce, Chris, and Mack are pallbearers. Dad, Mom, Bruce, and Grandpa sit in the front. Dad chokes up after setting down the casket about how light it is. He tried hard to keep it together, but little things get that man.

The weather is beautiful. Despite it being end of October, the weather is near 80 degrees. There is lots of sunshine. She wouldn't have to be cold.

The luncheon is at Bennetts. Tim, Laura, and I grab hamburger wagon for the non-Ohio guests to try. We spend the day at a bar later with Kaley, Chris, Madison, and the girls. It felt like good bonding.

Ohio is a sad place to be these days. A reminder that, eventually, we all must go. I am not good with loss and it is sad to see my grandpa get older and older- something we did not witness with my other grandpa given his distance. It is still nice to visit the cousins. I will be sad to update this again, eventually.

[ficrecslist]

Fic Rec Sunday #2

This week's collection includes Boku no Hero Academia and Batman fics again. Please make sure to look through fic tags before reading.

Batman

the wrongest thing in the world by dustorange (5k, WIP, M)

"I thought it’d be different when he got shot. I was going to be the one to do it. I wanted him dead so bad. But when I saw him, it was different. He was all scared. He was just some guy. It was all different,” Dick whispers. “I didn’t want it to be different. It shouldn’t be different. He took everything from me. I don’t even have my—” his fingers reach up as if to claw down the cuffs of his hoodie, then falter on his bare skin, remembering that it's no longer there, and scratch into his skin instead. His voice breaks. “He got everything.”

Damian slowly unclips his cape. He hesitates. Then he wraps it around Dick’s shoulders.

“Not,” Damian says, “everything.”

(After Bruce's death, Damian struggles to shoulder the Batman mantle. He also struggles to keep a grieving street kid from getting himself killed.)

Another excellent Robin age reversal AU this week. The author has a ton of other good works as well.

the primacy of personal conscience by birdsofthesoul (26k, M)

"WHAT MAKES IAGO EVIL? some people ask. I never ask."

— Joan Didion, Play It as It Lays

Or: Dick, his family, and the moral morass of a wishing well.

Delves deep into each of the batfam's personal morals by putting them into an interesting situation: what would happen if an actual wishing well that worked showed up in Gotham?

Code of Silence by JHSC (9k, T) cw: referenced sexual assault

Willis Todd doesn’t die in prison. That doesn’t change much, until it does.

I didn't think too much of Willis Todd before reading this. Normally people characterise him a lot as an abusive dirtbag, but this fanfic doesn't do that and I find it really interesting. Definitely a good fic.

The Next Life by spqr (15k, T)

“I don’t need an exorcism,” Tim says.

“I beg to bloody differ,” Constantine mutters.

Nobly, Tim elects to ignore him. “I want you to teach me.”

“Teach you what? Manners?”

“I already know manners,” Tim says, then barrels on as Constantine snorts in disagreement, “what I need to learn is necromancy.”

Very much enjoyed a look at the magic side of DC, especially since I haven't read much stuff on it before. I don't know how much of it is true to canon, but if it isn't, it feels very built-in and detailed in the way the magic system is written. Necromancer!Tim and questionable adult John Constantine is a delight to read.

Bet Your Bottom Dollar by husborth (7k, T) cw: referenced sexual assault

Dick's been having kind of a hard time, recently. When it boils over, Bruce is there for him.

Lots of good things to write about this fic: comes highly recommended. I've reread this and the author's other works multiple times.

Circles by withthekeyisking (9k, M)

Dick understands the necessity of working with Hush, that having the world continue on thinking that Bruce Wayne is alive is a useful thing. Doesn't mean he has to like it. Doesn't mean it's easy to engage with a man with Bruce's face when Dick still misses his dad like a limb.

And it turns out that's a weakness Thomas is all too happy to exploit.

If you're feeling up for some angst, give this one a try.

Boku no Hero Academia

Legacy by i_am_snowils_admiral (8k, T)

One For All is a sentient quirk. It isn't evil, or malicious. But it's sentient and it has one goal: to carry out the will of its first user - overcoming All for One.

A very cool fic! It does a great job of making OFA come across as creepy, and then they take it down another road.

the ghost of unbroken love by ennuied (7k, T)

Shouto’s life has cracked open like a raw egg on concrete. Some things will never be the same, but some things will.

It's actually been a while since I read this one, but I do remember that I really enjoyed it.

Candor by OwlF45 (60k, M)

Izuku’s ears pop.

It’s the third time Izuku’s hit the pavement face-first.

He’s so close to pulling himself up to his knees when a pipe slams through his lower back and pins him to the concrete. His breath leaves him all at once. He tries to scream. He can’t.

And the rest of the building falls on him in a burst of smoke and dust. His eardrums shatter, he lays flat against the pavement, spitting red globs of blood, and he tries not to remember red eyes and white hair and—

Or: The Hero Commission passes a new code that requires all heroes to complete a mental simulation test. For Izuku, the consequences are catastrophic.

I'm so into the themes that the author explored in this fic, and just kinda everything about it? You can tell they worked a lot on it, and I think Candor is now one of my favourite BNHA fanfics, because wow. Comes HIGHLY recommended.

hineni | הנני by jonphaedrus (42k, T)

The problem was not that All Might was Yagi Toshinori.

The problem is that Yagi Toshinori is—was—had always been—All Might.

And always would be.

A lovely All Might character study that I liked a lot.

Walk a Mile in Another’s Shoes by katydid (56k, WIP, T)

The Aoyamas think twice and decide not to get involved with a shady man who claims to be able to give quirks. Instead, Hisashi and Inko Midoriya purchase a naval laser quirk for their son in exchange for a large sum of money and an undisclosed favor.

A decade later, All for One comes to collect his due. Izuku Midoriya must choose between his mother’s life or betraying his ideals and his friends.

Read this fic. Read all of the other fics the author has written. Thank me later. This one isn't my favourite but I do very much enjoy it: all of them are really good and are worth reading I think.

different, same by achievingelysium (1k, T)

The world is different from what he remembers.

Much, much different.

Midoriya Izuku is Quirkless. Yet the universe works in circles, and One for All returns to its first wielder long long after he's dead.

A cool Yoichi-reincarnates-as-Midoriya Izuku fic!

[student-film-lying-piece-of-shit]

Hello! So I'm here today with an idea I've been bouncing around for a long, long time. A few folk have been headcanon-ing that Tim may have DID, but I do think it's a 100% canon possibility Tim has an alter.

I know some people might think that me talking about this possibility could be seen as me mirroring other possible tropes we've seen in horror films (let's look at media such as Split, which dictates a kidnapper who has several personalities as the prime one) and the countless almost comedic portrayals in others (the strange reoccuring theme of "sneezing to become xyz in anime for some odd reason?). However with Tim it's different.

So, I want to start off with this. Marble Hornets is a heavy character study, and the lore isn't too highlighted on. What I mean is that we don't know how the operator takes over people, and we're not sure how these dissociative states work. Not that we're constantly left in the dust. It's a manner that it's focused on the protagonists going through these trials and tribulations rather than spoon-feeding us the intricate details on how this being works.

We know the side effects, and we know how to "stop" it (the medication we see throughout) but as far as how the operator actually takes over the characters (more so referring to Tim and Brian), it's more up to us to break down if we want more than just "spooky being does spooky stuff!"

So I will use this allagory for how I see it: Brian and Tim both have a car (this is a stand in for their body). Brian owns his, it's all in his name and he doesn't let anyone use it. Tim has a car, however, he shares it. It's understand two names legally.

Imagine Brian gets robbed and he's held up at gunpoint to drive. He has to do whatever this guy says or else he'll get shot on the spot. Or even that the robber straight up puts Brian in the trunk, and drives and does whatever he wants with the car and Brian is absolutely left in the dark. This car may be his legally, but he's barely the owner anymore.

Okay, now that we have that, imagine Tim drives the car, and it's pretty okay. Then the other person he shares the car with gets hijacked and the robber forces him to do things, or throws this person in the trunk and does whatever he wants. However the robber returns the car to Tim with seemingly no damage, alongside with his friend. Every time, or nearly everytime the other person drives, this happens. Tim has absolutely no control over these things, and sure, he does get his car back sometimes, but at what cost?

The main thing that makes Brian and Tim different is how Brian never, canonically, had a break in his hoodie state. He never wakes up as Brian, scared and confused. He never is not under the influence. The fact he carried the audition tapes can make this theory a bit wonky, but back to the car metaphor. Imagine Brian bashing his legs and screaming in a trunk, and the robber noticing. He has to do something to get him to shut up, even if it's something small. So it could easily be that aswell. However I'm going by the deal that there was never a break.

Tim is not in the Masky state (from what see, which to be fair, could be a lot more) as frequent as we make it up to be. He loses giant gaps, but we see him a handful of times on screen as "The Masked Man". The big deal is that Tim has these breaks and they're for days, weeks. He isn't always under this influence. He has more control.

We can chalk this up to the medication they take, and I feel like Hoodie at one point would've takened the meds? And we would've seen Brian. We also see empty med bottles around where Hoodie's been (he could've dumped them but still, I wanted to say.)

I don't think the meds 100% prevent Tim's dissociative states. It just helps with the other aspects and ends of his slender sickness, and it can aid in it, but I  think him taking the meds /=/ him not becoming absolutely feral. He should of course take his medication, but I think it more so helps with his seizures and psychotic effects.

Hence why he shares it with Jay: why would he share something that Jay wouldn't need? Jay never has a masked state, canonically. Why would Jay need meds for something that focuses on Tim not dissocating? It feels weird, not to mention very out-of-character and pointless.

Now, let's look at the functionality of how dissociative disorders work. We're gonna focus on the disorder I believe Tim has in the cluster of dissociative disorders, Dissociative Identity Disorder. The basic criteria is

-  having one or personalities (inculding the core) which distinct, individual features

- amnesia (ie: missing large gaps of time due to people fronting, "knowing" people despite never remembering meeting them, waking up in random places you don't remember driving to)

- feeling detached from your body, also known as dissociation, or just not in control

One thing we can obviously apply is the first two. "Masky" is obviously a state that is distinct from Tim's, and is obviously not him. The second one is also stated

"...imagine going into your job only to find out that they fired you for not coming in for three weeks."

As an example of this being canonically said. We are aware Tim feels out of control, and that he doesn't own this body, he's very vocal about not understanding what's going on in his life and body. That he was dragged into this situation and he knows just as much as Jay (though near the end he does have tapes that have information, but even then he barely knows what he's doing in those tapes / has no memory of it).

The second biggest difference between Brian and Tim's slender sickness experience is that Tim has delt with this his whole life. He's seen as a carrier of the sickness the entire third season by Alex and even by himself for some time. He was rasied in a hospital and he talks about how they locked him in his hospital room during outbursts that he didn't remember. His childhood together is something extremely vague to him.

One thing I WANT to highlight, and this thing was actually vital for me to understand there's ambiguity here is how Tim says "They settled for Schizophrenia, but even they weren't really sure."

DID is so commonly misdiagnosed, and there's such a common misconception that Schizophrenia carries the symptom of having multiple personalities. Even among the professionals because of how frowned upon it is to diagnose it if it isn't 100% the ideal presentation of what to expect with a dissocative disorder. Tim 100% could've easily been misdiagnosed as a child.

DID is also a disorder that nearly always stems from severe childhood trauma. It's usually asiocated with heavy abuse. However, picture a 5-8 year old being abandoned by their parent(s) in a facility, which even if it's not the stereotypical psych ward, is still a horrible place to live. As someone who lived in a facility for years, there's so many things to list that I won't weigh on this post. But it is a very stressful place for the staff, let alone a mentally ill child.

Tim had symptoms of a psychotic disorder beforehand, but that doesn't mean he's immune to developing a traumagenic disorder.

So, here's how I see the entire deal:

Tim being a child abandoned by his mother, under the care of inpatient staff, easily witnessing violence and could've been at the end of the horrible health care system (especially for minors) developed an alter to protect him from the stress of the inpatient. When TO came into their lives more frequently, Tim's alter was the victim of TO's influence, not Tim himself.

So yeah! This is my take. I'm willing to talk but read the banner below if you're gonna talk to me about how I'm explaining DID 🙃

[hakesbros]

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