#To Be a Part of Something
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then, Dazai lifts his head. evening sun streaming through the window paints walls of the agency in golden hues, while everyone in front of it melds together like palm trees in sunset paintings, their figures silhouetted against the light. he gazes at these people, unable to distinguish who they are; a gentle breeze tousles their hair all at once, they laugh simultaneously, and like palm trees swaying in the wind, they emit a single sound. yet he knows if he were to focus, he could distinguish each of everyones’ unique way of laughing. and if he listens carefully enough, he might hear his own laughter too because he finally understands what this is all about, what is there to laugh at. the wind, as if finishing its work with them, comes to him and caresses his head. the sun, merging their silhouettes, shines in his eyes too and the feeling is almost too much for him to bear. his eyes meets with Atsushi’s and the boy smiles knowingly. twenty-two years, he thinks. now I belong somewhere. he smiles back.
#bsd#bungo stray dogs#dazai osamu#atsushi nakajima#the agency#i felt like that once until i lost it#everything i feel now is about chasing the past#not a hard guess but this is supposed to be a whole chapter#uh#of a fanfic i'll write probably never#just sbout belonging somewhere#to be a part of something#not just observing#i want to eat something sweet#una's bowl#writing
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(also feel free in the tags to clarify Why you made the choice you made!! :0c)
#polls#tumblr polls#For me I think the top ones would be the House. The Money. or the Friend Group. But I ultimately might would go for the house#JUST becuase it would be my Dream House which means it would already meet mostly all of my specifications#and what I might be looking for. which would save a lot of time searching or customizing/rennovating.#Also because I could use that as a way to leave the US lol.. like .. if I get to choose my dream location.. couldnt I just choose some othe#country?? But I wonder how that works. Can you legally 100% have full ownership of a property in a country yet not be a citizen of that#country?? Would you show up and be like 'erm.. i own this house.. so i shall now live in it' and theyd be like 'uh no. you cant live here#despite owning the house. leave.' ??#So I think the initial process of 1. scraping together funds to actually MOVE myself and my most valuable belongings physically#TO another country. and 2. figuring out how to STAY in that country . might end up being difficult.. BUT. if I could just work that#part of things out then.. dream house?? security for once in my life?? stability?? :0#Though the $1mil is enticing it's also like.. I feel .. with the way housing prices are now... that's not much???#it's a lot I guess if you plan on like.. investing half the money and staying in an apartment for 5 years while you grow your wealth#or something. but if you're a 'I Need Stability NOW' ready to settle down person who would be most interested in owning a property rather#than nice clothes or a car or whatever other investments you could make then.. eh..?? It seems like unless you're okay with living in#a small town or kind of far away from the city - even some SMALL houses in majorly populated areas in the US will be like#$600.000 - $900.000 or something. like that would be MOST of my money. Which I know you could just pay partially and make#payments on it but idk.. in the option of just outright owning the house it seems like it'd end up being cheaper.#Plus I would want to own it fully asap because I'd be afraid of losing it somehow otherwise. like it being taken for medical bills or#something. which I thought was supposed to be - not IMPOSSIBLE - slightly more complicated legally if you actually have#paid off the house in full. I guess the issue then would be utilities and property tax and such. But I feel like thats overcome-able??#Like I could just stipulate that my Dream House has a little furnished addition or something and then find someone#with money and be like 'Look you can live in this extremely nice area with amazing ameneties and updated everything and ALL you have#to do is give me money to cover the utilities and property tax.'' or something like that. Like the little furnished addition is nicer#than the actual house. they have their own pool and spa and movie room or something and Ill also cook all their meals for them#or whatever (how luxurious it would be depeneds on how high the property tax actually is/how much I would need to entice them into#why it's a good deal for them to pay it for me lol). idk... something like that.. ANYWAY#I asked a few people I know though and one of them answered they'd rather have a romantic partner. the other one said they'd like#to be able to choose someone to die lol.. So I'm curious what people value the most
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REBLOG POSTS❗❗ COMMENT ON FICS❗❗COMPLIMENT FANART ❗❗LEAVE LITTLE NOTES IN THE TAGS❗❗ BOOKMARK FICS YOU LIKE❗❗ TELL AUTHORS WHAT YOU LIKED ABOUT THEIR FICS❗❗COMMENT ON DECADE OLD FICS ❗❗ADD YOUR OWN ANALYSIS IN LONG POSTS❗❗ENGAGE❗❗ INTERACT❗❗ BUILD A COMMUNITY ❗❗
While people don't work for engagement, it certainly doesn't do any harm..
#just SAY SOMETHING ❗❗#read so many life altering fics which dont have a lot of comments#like i dont think artists can visualize a number of 900 clicks#they need proof that their work is being enjoyed#plus it is so motivating#kudos r nice but#PLUS IT FEELS GOOD TO WRITE A COMMENT#YOU CAN JUST COPY PASTE YOUR FAVORITE LINES AND KEYSMASH#YOU CAN LOOK AT YOUR OWN COMMENT LATER AND RE READ ALL YOUR FAVORITE PARTS IN A FIC#PLEASE I BEG#ALL THESE AMAZING ARTISTS AND WRITERS. GIVE THEM SOMETHING#this was lwk inspired when i saw a fic with like 900 hits but not many comments like guys cmonnn come onnnnnnn pleaseee#yapping the days away#fandom#fandom culture#ao3#fanfiction#fanart
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License to Kitty.
#dungeon meshi#izutsumi#marcille donato#chilchuk tims#I still stand by my tags on the Izutsumi character study piece I did in January - but I will repeat myself on a few lines here:#I *really* love this character. I love that all of the dungeon meshi crew are complicated and have difficult to love components.#But Izutsumi is a particular kind of hard to love. I foresee a lot of people being turned off by her abrasiveness and lack of teamwork.#She is very self-centered and openly goes against what the party agrees on.#She's a picky eater in a story that is 50% about eating good and healthy food!#It is in part about her growth but admittedly even *then* she remains rather true to her self-centeredness.#Even though she isn't as nice or funny or compassionate as the others...Izutsumi is still someone worth loving.#Even the more difficult people are someone worth loving.#And those people in turn are people who have something and someone they love.#She may be a girlcat but she is the most human of them all.#I hope that if you are an anime only watcher and are feeling put off by her at the moment; you'll give her a chance.#By the way: *yes* I worked very hard to draw that skateboard pose. It was worth it.#EDIT: HAPPY 500th POST OF POORLY-DRAW-MDZS!!! What a comic to commemorate the milestone with!
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I Can’t Help But Wonder
Odysseus, who just violently and mercilessly murdered 108 or so men, who claims in the next song that he’s no longer a kind or gentle man, actively listens to Telemachus and kindly and gently responds to everything his son’s expressed.
Telemachus asks, “Am I like you? Am I strong like you? Will you embrace me? Will you love and accept me as yours?” He says, “I’ve felt so alone.”
And Odysseus claims him in a heartbeat, answering, “My son. My boy. My sweetest joy I’ve ever known. I embraced you twenty years ago. I’d do the impossible for you. I’d die for you.” He says, “Seeing the men here today, I can only wonder what you’ve been through for twenty years. My son, you’re already strong. You’re my own. You’re not alone. I’m home.”
And then they fucking embrace.
#don’t mind me I’m just over here sobbing#something something Odysseus being an attentive loving father drenched in blood#the way he literally responds to everything#he says ‘you are MY SON I’ve never stopped embracing you’#‘I may be deranged and unhinged after years of torment but I’ll be damned before I let you think you’ve ever been unloved by me’#the instrumentals reflect it too#Tele’s piano is hesitant and very faint during his part overwhelmed by Ody’s guitar#the moment ody starts singing the piano blends immediately#Ody’s got open arms for his son#epic the musical#epic#odysseus#epic odysseus#epic telemachus#telemachus#epic the Ithaca saga#the ithaca saga#ithaca saga
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fool's hope
#honkai star rail#hsr#hsr fanart#aglaea#anaxagoras#hsr anaxa#aglanaxa#you ever think about if aglaea's obvious hatred for him is something anaxa finds comfort in#because it means there's still a part of her here that she hasn't been completely stripped of ber humanity yet.#like what if anaxa knew better than any other heir how little humanity aglaea retains.#what if he knew on a scientific level how little emotion she's afforded now#hundred of years down the line of bearing this burden#so it's a relief when anaxa gets word that his presence still irritates aglaea.#it's a relief to know there is still some part of aglaea capable of summoning anger at the sight of him#that she would go as far as to avoid him because of it#ouuuh cunning blonde woman and pathetic green man save me...#sorry i'm a little crazy about them#this is probably going to get shot to hell and back with the next update but yeah
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couldnt draw my thang for mid-autumn so treated myself to a calne redesign instead
#calne ca#hatsune miku#VOCALOID#cw: body horror#<- And I Fucking Mean That We Are Not Fucking Around Today#well we are. as in I drew this as a fuckaround treat for myself#but the body horror tag is the most warranted its ever been on this blog#ask to tag#I am as ever on my journey to make calne ca Worse. her OG version is too cool. even the crab ver is too cool#I need her to be worse to look at. I am also getting myself into to mood to test my hand at boarding a pmv for my friend's cover#I think my thought for this was ''I should try and give her a more insectoid bodyplan''#which in this mostly means gently three-part body and six limbs (my favourite amount of limbs to draw rn)#actually almost gave her eight but didnt like how that silhouette came out so I mermaided her uh. abdomen I guess#though maybe next time I do this I should push that idea more. the head and torso are still very distinct for one unified part#I feel like one of my old attempts was onto something with like. a more horizontal body plan... well! live and learn etc#happy late mid autumn I guess. I should play with touys about it... I miss model kits. mayhaps...
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FNAF nightmare foxy is a huge fan of Roxanne Wolf,,
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#roxanne wolf#nightmare foxy#security breach#fnaf 4#this is based off images from pax#where the Roxy performer met a nightmare foxy cosplayer#super cute had to draw a lil something for it!#trust me all foxys love Roxy#it’s by law my source is trust me#I wanna believe foxy would see Roxy as part of their group#almost like the collective daughter of them#not to mention I think Michael Afton likes Roxy#and to me nightmare foxy is just a reflection of Michael#SO CHECKS out he’d like her too#she’s the IT girl she’s the greatest
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i think alphonse would still experience depersonalization and dysmorphia even after getting his body back
#alphonse elric#obviously hes glad about having it back#but there's this unease at the back of his mind#because hes been put into a new body that is drastically different from the one he was in for years for a second time#and that body isnt the one he lost. it had changed so much since he was 10 and i dont even think he could recognize himself for a while#i also think thats why he got the exact same haircut he had as a kid. to feel more like that younger and more familiar version of himself.#anyway i think he would still feel like he lost another part of himself by gaining everything back#even if he hated every second of being in that armor and even if all he ever wanted was to be normal again#he still spent 5 years in that body. long enough to begrudgingly become used to it#and for his body to change instantly into an unrecognizable version of himself#i dont think he had an easy time adjusting to being so different physically#even beyond the fact that he had to spend months/years physically recovering#oughhh its such a weird and complex feeling to miss something that made him miserable#just because that familiarity is more comforting than all of the pain and overstimulation of gaining his senses back#and being a completely different person physically#i also think hed have trouble sleeping for a while and start Thinking About Things He Shouldn't at night again#this is one of those things#fma#fullmetal alchemist#fma fanart#fmab fanart#fullmetal alchemist brotherhood#fma art#fmab#fma brotherhood
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Save youself, I'll hold them back by My Chemical Romance
I highly recommend listening to the song while reading the comic btw!!
BEHOLD MY MAGNUM OPUS! Bro this took more than 2 months, in part because I was really busy IRL during one of those months, but even then this was a pretty large project for me compared to what I've done before. BUT NOW I'M FINALLY DONE! 😭 Save yourself, I'll hold them back is just such a Leo-coded song, especially if you include the whole bad timeline, I just had to make something rottmnt-related with it. I actually envisioned this at first as an animation, but I lack both the skill and motivation to animate so it became a lyric comic instead lol.
#you can tell i didnt initally intend for this to be a lyric comic cuz my least favorite part of this is how i integrated the lyrics lol#it could've been done better lets be real#or maybe im just bad with letters#or maybe im just lazy who knows#gimme a break i fully coloured and rendered this thing so that's something#tizel art#my art#digital art#rottmnt#tmnt#teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt fanart#lyric comic#rottmnt leo#rottmnt donnie#rottmnt raph#rottmnt mikey#rottmnt april#rottmnt casey jones#rottmnt casey jones jr#rottmnt krang#rottmnt bad future#rottmnt bad timeline#rottmnt future leo#rottmnt future mikey
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Everything Goes As Planned, a JayVik fancomic!
Read from right to left <-
#jayvik#arcane fanart#camrydraws#yippeeeeeeeee i'm freeeeeeeee#comic#you know that part in AOT when [redacted] and he's like oh my god??!? why is my coworker DYING??! it's that basically#I also majorly fuck with death scenes when the person is trying to SAY SOMETHING and the other person is shushing them#it used to annoy me but now i LIKE IT :3
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To Be a Part of Something
Use the related link post to read To Be a Part of Something on AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/57766759 by Kaykat329 Denki was the type of person to always be in a circle, without being part of it. This has been true since the day he was born. He never could seem to fit in with kids his age, yet he found that when he was bright and cheerful people could stand being around him for short periods of time. Or, Denki has an accident with his quirk in middle school and suffers the consequences. Shinsou helps him heal. Words: 13024, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia (Anime & Manga) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Kaminari Denki, Shinsou Hitoshi, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead, Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, Kaminari Denki's Mother, Kaminari Denki's Family, Eri (My Hero Academia), Ashido Mina, Kirishima Eijirou, Sero Hanta, Bakugou Katsuki, Jirou Kyouka, Midoriya Izuku, Class 1-A (My Hero Academia), Yagi Toshinori | All Might, Shuuzenji Chiyo | Recovery Girl Relationships: Kaminari Denki/Shinsou Hitoshi, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead/Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic Additional Tags: Kaminari Denki-centric, Kaminari Denki Angst, Smart Kaminari Denki, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Shinsou Hitoshi is in Class 1-A, Shinsou Hitoshi is a Good Friend, Bakusquad (My Hero Academia), Kaminari Denki Has Seizures, Hospital Visit, Parental Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead | Dadzawa, Adopted Shinsou Hitoshi, Adopted Eri (My Hero Academia), Married Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead/Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, Quirk Accident (My Hero Academia), quirk induced injury, Getting Together Use the related link post to read it on AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/57766759
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red crowned crane grian
#i started this one so long ago. months#i fully intended for it to be line and color#i do not know what happened but i got like possessed or something to draw a full background#so i ended up spending far too long on it and going through many stages of hate love pain joy and suffering#the thing i was caught up on the most was the water#it still doesn't look right but shhhhhh im not dealing with it any longer#it looks fine enough as is#my favorite part was adding the clouds#oh god that was so fun!!! the sky was feeling kinda bland then i added the clouds#they were so pleasant to do#also you cant really see it well but im very happy with the fish#it is a perch specifically#fish <3#overall im quite happy with this despite the ups and downs#it feels calm#grian#grian fanart#hermitcraft#raff's art
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail''#ah tumblr...#writeblr#warm up#idk . having trouble writing rn#ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum#i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for#i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" .....#no.... not really.....#idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography#like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days#furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing...#this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey.#idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me.#i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will#actually ever happen#ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum
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oops, still feral over pre-war Dead End Dratchet






(drift: you're rusting at every joint gasket: but isn't that doctor chummy with the cops? we're literal thieves??)
started with the headcanon that drift hung around the clinic like a feral wet cat for a while, then halfway through shading these, I started thinking, what if deadlock was an especially reliable assassin because he knew what kind of damage would make sure that even the best of the best couldn't bring you back
#couple million years later#ratchet is performing autopsies and very determinedly not thinking about teaching that one kid which energon lines are most volatile#you ever get this image in your head of a guy lurking around the guy who saved his life and then think#guess i need to design a clinic#but because your dumb brain needs context you think i guess i need to design the surroundings so you start a daytime wide shot too#and then an even dumber part of your brain is like let's do it all in that fake etching style that you haven't totally worked out yet#and then you also get sad about gasket so you stick him in too#they're done at least we achieved something aaaaaaa????#transformers idw#maccadam#tf drift#dratchet#tf ratchet#ratchet#gasket#drift#mtmte#my art
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was talking with a friend about how some of dunmeshi fаndom misunderstands kabru's initial feelings towards laios.
to sum up kabru's situation via a self-contained modernized metaphor:
kabru is like a guy who lost his entire family in a highly traumatic car accident. years later he joins a discord server and takes note of laios, another server member who seems interesting, so they start chatting. then laios reveals his special interest and favorite movie of all time is David Cronenberg's Crash (1996), and invites kabru to go watch a demolition derby with him
#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#kabru#kabru already added laios as a discord friend. everyone else in the server can see laios excitedly asking kabru to go with him#what would You even Do in this situation. how would YOU feel?#basically: kabru isnt a laios-hater! hes just in shock bc Thats His Trauma. the key part is kabru still says yes#bc he wants to get to know laios. to understand why laios would be so fascinated by something horrific to him#and ALSO bc even while in shock kabru can still tell laios has unique expertise + knowledge that Could be used for Good#even if kabru doesnt fully trust laios yet (bc kabru just started talking to the guy 2 hours ago. they barely know each other)#kabru also understands that getting to know ppl (esp laios) means having to get to know their passions. even if it triggers his trauma here#but thats too much to fit in this metaphor/analogy. this is NOT an AU! its not supposed to cover everything abt kabru or laios' character!#its a self-contained metaphor written Specifically to be more easily relatable+thus easy to understand for general ppl online#(ie. assumed discord users. hence why i said (a non-specific) 'discord server' and not something specific like 'car repair subreddit')#its for ppl who mightve not fully grasped kabru's character+intentions and think hes being mean/'chaotic'/murderous.#to place ppl in kabru's shoes in an emotionally similar situation thats more possible/grounded in irl experiences and contexts.#and also for the movie punchline#mynn.txt#dm text#crossposting my tweets onto here since my friends suggested so
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