#UnderstandingMyself

[caesarandthecity]

Gay for the Stay

In prison, there’s a term: Gay for the Stay.

That’s what they call straight men who start relationships with other men while they’re locked up. They’re only "gay" for as long as they’re inside.

Funny, isn’t it? Imagine if I, as a gay man, could simply flip a switch and decide when I wanted to be straight. But unlike them, I never had that choice.

At first, I was easy prey. I was quiet, withdrawn. And in prison, any sign of vulnerability makes you a target.

Chad was my first experience inside. He was beautiful. Deep blue eyes. The moment we met, I knew something would happen between us. But we never kissed. We never touched the way we wanted to. Our connection was intense, but full of unspoken barriers.

I believed I could save him. He told me about the drugs, about how he loved living on the streets. He called it "a lifestyle." Deep down, I thought I could pull him out of that world. But the truth is, you can’t save someone from themselves.

I was emotionally wrecked multiple times in prison. I chased love, thinking it was something to find, when in reality, love is something you build from within.

Today, I understand that my solitude isn’t a curse. It’s the result of growth.

[theloulouge]

Life Lens - Entry 180

Living Between Logic & Emotion It’s strange how the mind and heart can seem like they’re on completely different wavelengths. My brain is all about logic, analyzing situations, and thinking things through. When I express my thoughts based on reason, I often come across as cold or uncaring because I’m prioritizing what makes the most sense, not necessarily what feels the best. It’s not that I…

[themedicinewoman]

06/09/2023

Agree to be aware collectivley

refraining from remaining, do choose me

uneasy, full of pure ability

able to see your dreams, creepy.

roam around and about, free, like a dream.

Pockets full of rocks i carry with me

Methods and mistakes representing me

Finding movement does tend to set me free

The warmth of the sunshine brings me to life

Questioning again, what fascinates me?

Beginning to understand, remedies.

Finally ready to express , be free

[girly-mess]

{ Billet d’humeur #5 }

Self reflection

“ L’introspection est un long voyage que l’on peut entreprendre à tout âge. ”  - Vincent Thomas Rey, compositeur de musique

Savoir se remettre en question, je trouve que c’est essentiel pour chaque individu. On a tous besoin de passer par des phases d’introspection pour se comprendre. Ça nous permet d’analyser notre propre comportement, nos réactions, nos émotions, nos pensées. C’est de cette manière qu’on arrive à déterminer ce qu’on veut et ce qu’on ne veut plus, qu’on réalise ses erreurs pour pouvoir s’améliorer ensuite, et qu’on découvre de nouvelles choses sur soi. Mais pour ça, encore faut-il réussir à être honnête avec soi-m��me pour prendre un véritable recul...

Beaucoup trop de gens ont tendance à réprimer leurs émotions, à les enfouir au plus profond de leurs êtres, pour ne pas avoir à les affronter. Probablement parce qu’ils ont déjà trop de choses à gérer et qu’ils préfèrent éviter de rajouter ça à leurs assiettes. Ou parce qu’ils ont été éduqués à ne jamais montrer ce qu’ils ressentent, car ce serait soi-disant signe de faiblesse. WRONG. Refouler ce qu’on ressent, c’est se tirer une balle dans le pied, sans même le savoir. Et ça peut mener à des blocages. 

Plus vite on comprend la raison de nos actes, plus vite on tâchera de ne plus répéter les mêmes erreurs. Sinon on reste enfermé dans un cercle vicieux où il nous arrive les mêmes merdes, dont on se plaint constamment auprès de notre entourage, sans pour autant faire quoi que ce soit pour briser ce schéma. Je ne dis pas que c’est facile, bien au contraire. Pour avoir moi-même mis un bon moment à réaliser qu’il fallait que je cesse certains de mes comportements, si je voulais que les choses avancent et changent, j’ai conscience que ça peut prendre du temps. Mais il faut le faire ! Il faut confronter sa propre image dans le miroir et se dire “ STOP. Je veux que ça change et je vais faire le nécessaire pour. ”

Pour ma part, j��ai l’impression de me remettre en question trop souvent. Mon cerveau passe son temps à analyser chacun de mes agissements et me signale presque immédiatement quand j’ai fait quelque chose de stupide, d’étrange, d’inapproprié, de blessant... et ainsi de suite. Ce n’est pas sain, pour le coup, puisque ça me donne la sensation de ne jamais faire les choses correctement. Conséquence : Je n’ai pas confiance en moi et je doute de tout ce que je fais ou dis. C’est pour ça que je parlais de phases d’introspection. C’est mieux de se faire un petit checkpoint une fois de temps en temps, pour faire le bilan de ce qu’on aurait pu mieux faire et de ce qui était bien. Ne vous infligez pas plus de problème en vous culpabilisant, en vous flagellant fréquemment comme moi. 

Enfin, je dis ça, mais... ce n’est pas comme si je pouvais contrôler mon cerveau. Quoique, techniquement, si, mais vous m’avez comprise. Donc pour remédier à tout ça, je m’intéresse de plus en plus à la psychologie, au développement personnel et même à l’astrologie ( Oui oui, vous avez bien lu. Je vous vois avec votre air dubitatif là, vous savez ? Mais ne vous braquez pas sans savoir de quoi il s’agit réellement. Je vous en parlerai dans un prochain post, de toute façon, histoire d’éclairer votre lanterne. C’est passionnant, vraiment. ) pour mieux identifier mes lacunes, mes failles, mes défauts mais aussi mes qualités. Et depuis, je peux vous affirmer que ça m’a beaucoup aid��e à mettre des mots sur ce que j’éprouve, sur mes envies, ma personnalité. Je me comprends mieux, je me connais mieux et je m’assume mieux aussi. D’où l’importance de l’introspection, par diverses techniques. 

Il y en a beaucoup qui se tournent vers la méditation ou le yoga pour reprendre possession de leurs émotions et retrouver une certaine sérénité. Personnellement, ce sont des méthodes qui m’attirent un peu moins et je ne suis pas si sûre que ça fonctionnerait sur moi. Mais ça a l’air de très bien fonctionner pour d’autres. 

Et parmi ceux qui ont le plus de mal à se recentrer sur soi, certains vont chercher l’aide d’un psy pour les guider dans leur réflexion interne. Je trouve que c’est une très bonne chose. Mais ça demande un certain courage et l’envie de tendre la main. Ce n’est malheureusement pas mon cas. Pas pour l’instant, du moins. J’ai encore du mal à accepter l’idée que je ne puisse pas le faire seule. Je suis encore convaincue que je suis capable de m’en sortir seule, d’améliorer ma vie et de m’épanouir, sans l’aide d’aucun professionnel. Peut-être ai-je tort, peut-être ai-je raison... Qui sait ? Seul le temps pourra nous le dire. 

[thunderchas]

When I wake in the morning, typically one of these three personalities will be dominant. Quiet/introspective Tyler, jovial/playful Mr.Edwards or annoyed/frustrated Logan. #understandingmyself https://www.instagram.com/p/CPI0W4ZhZDYKd2qwkUMXLNeinrQ-NjFbZVMemU0/?utm_medium=tumblr

[sisi66]

It's the stuff we don't say that keeps us trapped. And the poor elephant too 🤣 . . Wanna work through stuff with me? You'll get authenticity, kindness, an unconventional approach and my full attention. You know how to find me. . . . . #selfdevelopnent #growing #understandingmyself (at Oxford, Oxfordshire) https://www.instagram.com/p/CHKWezuH10e/?igshid=oh6icgub46r8

[malloryfranklin]

2019 has been an eventful year full of so many memories, and so much learning! I am excited to see what 2020 brings ☺️ and look forward to learning so much more about myself! Thank you to everyone who has been a part of my journey and I hope will be a part of it for many years to come! #thisiswhatmakesus #canoeslalom #athlete #memories #learning #shepaddles #thisgirlcan #kayaking #bringon2020 #tokyo2020 #biggerandbetter #understandingmyself #canoeing #olympics #iwonderwhat2020willbring (at Around The World) https://www.instagram.com/p/B6wZeGYlUuO/?igshid=15t4ov7i3rr6o

[alyssassoul-blog]

#examiningmyself #understandingmyself #gottaloveittho --------------------------------------- Repost from @conscious.chris 🤔😩 #whyamilikethis #lmao #truth #facts #bruh #lol #anxietyproblems #memes #meme #whytho #savage #staywoke #kermitmemes #life #lifelessons #motivation #universe #conscious #consciousness #spiritual #thirdeye #woke #health #fitfam #fitness #gym #gymflow #introvert #introvertproblems #motivationalquotes

[nancydeandrade]

SWIPE 👉🏼 Nine lessons I learned from listening to the subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) messages of my body. . . . . #holistic #natural #bodymindspirit #worksforme #understandingmyself #selflove (at La Perla de La Jolla) https://www.instagram.com/p/ByVvlOzngBV/?igshid=sttl6lkqij60

[zillahsgh0st-blog]

Still listening #audiobook #introvert #quiet #sensitive #scribd #understandingmyself #currentlyreading #books #reading

[jpeignacio-blog]

Understanding Myself Entry 2

This week, we discussed hybrid identities and how these are becoming more common with the onset of globalization. This topic is nothing new to me. I have been reflecting on this concept ever since we tackled the subject of culture in social studies as early as grade 8. I have also since then wondered about my own identity. My mother grew up in Mindoro while my father grew up in Paco in Manila. After getting married, my parents moved to Malaybalay City, Bukidnon where they raised me and my siblings. I was exposed to global concerns through my father’s work. After completing his master’s degree in the University of Namur in Belgium, a lot of his European friends would visit us regularly. He also took me and my siblings to a lumad community in the mountains of Bukidnon where his NGO did much of their work in supporting the community. 

I guess what I’m trying to say is: I was exposed to many cultures growing up and I have a difficult time associating with just one of them.

This is quite stressful, in fact, as it makes me feel something of an internal conflict. I feel like I do not belong. I brought this concern up with the spiritual adviser in my most recent retreat. I expressed to him my feelings of not belonging, of not having a culture to call my own. He offered the insight that this can be viewed as a gift. He told me that God has given me a unique upbringing, and with it, a unique view on the world that will make me see things in a way that no one else can. It was comforting to hear, but still, part of me wishes that I did not have to think about such things. 

[isabellalovesyou24]

A piece of me ain’t there Cause nothing can compare To life when I was young That girl inside me stays If I’m not here for me She will be there · · · · · · · · · · #messagesfromher #selflove #sabrinaclaudio #understandingmyself #latenights (at Pasadena, Texas) https://www.instagram.com/p/BqCbmW6B4YF/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=4i6l7bkw1kyd

[underdogstrength-blog]

I just heard this quote from @jordanbpeterson and I had to share it! When you decide to make a change, you will face resistance from others. - There are many obstacles in your way. Don't be one of them. - Speaking from personal experience, I was morbidly obese and I knew I had to make a change. Just because I was a certain way, didn't mean that I had to stay that way. 👉As soon as I got out of my own way, things started to change. - We often like to blame others for our circumstances, but the real enemy is the enemy within. That enemy is called 'resistance'. - 'Resistance' is your inner battles that you face everyday. Resistance is what ultimately stops you from achieving your potential. - 📚 If you want to learn more about this concept, I highly recommend reading 'The War of Art' by Steven Pressfield. 👉The complete audiobook is FREE on YouTube. This book will change your life! - It's YOU vs YOU. Get out of your own way and everything else will sort itself out. - ❓What's holding you back? Is it fear? . . . . . #jordanpeterson #jordanpeterson #jordanpetersonquotes #understandmyself #jordanbpeterson #selfauthoring #mapsofmeaning #freespeechweek #freespeech #universityoftoronto #torontouniversity #drjordanpeterson #articulatedtruth #sortingmyselfout #understandingmyself #understandingme #dontstandinyourownway #youcanchange #warofart #innerbattle #innerbattles #underdogstrength #youareyourworstenemy #stevenpressfield #futureyou #enemywithin #unlockyourpotential #fearisthepathtothedarkside #12rulesforlife (at University, Toronto, Ontario)

[ubermensch-in-training-blog]

Dream Wishing

Hoping to dream once more of living as a neurotransmitter interacting with multiple neurocircuits; resulting in my own emotional instability. 

Source: ubermensch-in-training

[atinuviel-blog]

What do I know about myself for sure ?

1.       I love children and family.

2.       I love helping people, but the bad thing is that I expect them to help me back, but it’s not how life works.

3.       I prefer communication tet-a-tet or in small groups, cuz it’s more intimate and you get to know the person better.

4.       It’s not difficult for me to achieve something I want, the problem is that I rarely want something so badly.

5.       Even though sometimes I like being flirty and mysterious it gives me much more pleasure to be simply myself and tell the truth directly. Maybe it’s too straightforward and bold, but it is also more honest and less hypocritical.

6.       I like having new experiences (climbing, skateboarding), but it’s enough for me to just know I can do it amateur-ish, need no perfection and don’t put serious goals. I just want to be able to do as many things as possible.

7.       I’m an extra. I care too much or I care too less. I look too good or I look like a nightmare. I’m over-polite or I’m severely rude. I’m super lazy or I’m hyperactive. I’m hurtfully open or I am as closed and reserved as Fort Knox.

8.       I like books.

9.       I operate better when I know I’m responsible for something, when I’m in charge.

10.   Ready to have more duties to have more freedom.

11.   I need to make plans so not to be overwhelmed by the hysterical flow of events.

12.   It’s difficult for me to endure little changes (interface change, change of the bus stop location etc.) but I’m quite flexible and adaptable to big changes (like moving to another city, changing job).

13.   I’m relationship-oriented, not goal-oriented.

14.   I’m definitely not afraid to take risks.

15.   It’s difficult for me to ask for help because I don’t trust people and I am not sure they can do it “the right way”.

16.   I like comforting people, talk about LIFE.

17.   I need to stand out from the crowds because I’m intimidated by fear of being average.

18.   It’s difficult for me to maintain balance between helping people and not being pushed around.

19.   I don’t like advices and it’s difficult for me to accept criticism

20.   I’m quite a diplomat, but when it comes to unsolicited advice or people trying to push me I get very rude. Idk if it’s bad but I’m not going to apologize for that cuz there are only few things I cannot tolerate, but those are my principal grounds which I will fiercely defend.

21.   I’m 100% led by purity of intent. Reward-punishment systems doesn’t work for me.

22.   I do believe in love. It’s just difficult for me to believe something like this was destined for me. 

23.   I gravitate towards harmony (in relationships it’s especially important!!!)

24.   I am procrastinator ------change it.

25.   I’m not neat ---- change it.

26.   It’s very difficult for me to concentrate -------change it.

27.   I give up on people when our relationship stop being harmonious-----change it???

28.   I see things from unconventional perspective ------ develop it.

29.   I hate dealing with data – people are so much more interesting and important.

30.   I need to project tenderness towards someone.

31.   Human contact – yes, social contacts – not so much.

32.   People don’t like me from the first look. They think (I have no idea why – maybe I have a resting bitch face) that I’m arrogant. But as soon as the first ice is broken, it’s quite easy for me to win their affection.

33.   I lie a lot and it should be changed asap. 

[understandingyourself]

Just made a few videos for MBTI fans. Intuitive types only. Will work on sensor types soon. You can find the videos on my YT channel. Be sure to subscribe and share.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMCWcqVs-VK7u-R8wGFEgiA