#WHOA SCIENCE

[tyger-land]

𝗔 𝗦𝗰𝗮𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗿 𝗗𝗮𝗿𝗸𝗹𝘆 2006

[kryptonbabe]

There are three new Dai Dark volumes? When did this happened, I thought it was going to take ages for these to be translated and published outside Japan...

[ninemelodies]

so we all know the doctor is bad (or at least thinks they’re bad at) the domestic stuff so i imagine life for donna becomes “take your doctor to work day” every single day.

i bet it stresses kate out so bad to find the doctor always tinkering with something they’re not supposed to be or eating all the jammie dodgers in the break room

[ctrl-esc]

getting to the point of full time work where i just think about and explain regular ass concepts to myself in coding terms

[merelygifted]

We lay to a few minutes to ask the cutter some questions, and learned, among other glorious news, that civil war is raging in Africia, while the plague is doing its good work beautifully both in Yurope and Ayesher. Is it not truly remarkable that, before the magnifcent light shed upon philosophy by Humanity, the world was accustomed to regard War and Pestilence as calamities? Do you know that prayers were actually offered up in the ancient temples to the end that these evils (!) might not be visited upon mankind? Is it not really diffcult to comprehend upon what principle of interest our forefathers acted? Were they so blind as not to perceive that the destruction of a myriad of individuals is only so much positive advantage to the mass!

-- Edgar A Poe, from MELLONTA TAUTA, a work of science fiction taking place in the year 2848

Sounds like something ann rand (not a typo) would have taken as a long-winded motto, and adopted by today's rethuglicants.

[blasphemyandbackshots]

Can you do mha and How they would react to you squirting, TYSM, I love your writing༼⁠;⁠´⁠༎ຶ⁠ ⁠۝ ⁠༎ຶ⁠༽

Izuku Midoriya - He malfunctions. Like… his brain just freezes. One second he’s fingering you with focused intensity and murmuring praise. And the next, your thighs are shaking, your mouth is falling open and you soak the sheets. He pulls back in awe, hands still trembling. “Did I—did I do that? You… you squirted? Oh my god—are you okay? Did that feel good? That was—wow—should I take notes?!” Once you assured him it was amazing, he gets obsessed with recreating it. Makes it his new mission. Hero Analysis Notebook Vol. 69 is now heavily dedicated to your pleasure.

Katsuki Bakugo - You squirt? This man grins like a devil. He’s got two fingers deep in you, wrist pumping like he’s trying to make you cry and when it happens, he growls, “Oh fuck yes, baby. You fuckin’ made a mess, huh?” His face is flushed, eyes wild, voice rough with pride. He rubs your overstimulated pussy through it just to see if he can make you do it again. “Gonna get addicted to this. You better keep squirting for me, princess.”You’re not walking tomorrow and you both know it.

Shouta Aizawa - Calm and collected? Not when this happens. You’re riding his face, quiet moans slipping out and suddenly you drench his mouth. His lashes flutter and he blinks up at you like he just got blessed by a goddess. He doesn’t stop. He licks through it with reverent, lazy strokes until you’re trembling. “…That was beautiful,” he murmurs. “I want to see it again. And again.” Aftercare king. Changes the sheets, wraps you in his arms and whispers about how beautiful you are.

Denki Kaminari - Short circuits. Like literally. He stares at the wet patch on the bed like it owes him money. “Holy shiiiiiit, did I just—did you just—? Babe. That was so hot I think I actually fried something.” He’s a little stunned, a lot smug and incredibly horny. Tries to fist bump you about it after. Becomes your #1 hype man. “My girl’s a squirter. I knew she had it in her.” No peace after that. Denki wants to make it happen every single time.

Eijiro Kirishima - At first he pauses, concerned. “Was that—did I hurt you?” You assure him no, it felt amazing, and then he glows. Practically beams with pride. “You’re so amazing, babe. That was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen. Wanna make you feel like that again.” Will not shut up about how beautiful you looked while you came. Tells you it’s manly as hell to lose control with someone you trust. Next round he tries to make you do it on his abs. For science.

Hanta Sero - “Whoa, whoa, what—did you just—holy fuck, that was hot.” Hanta is a chaotic blend of turned on and impressed. He kisses you hard, groaning into your mouth as he thrusts through your overstimulated slickness. “Damn, babe. I didn’t know you could do that. You’re full of surprises.” 100% teases you about it later but in the sweetest way. “Need me to mop the floor first or you gonna flood it again?”

Hitoshi Shinsou - He plays it cool, but his eyes are blazing. Watches the way your body jerks, the wetness gushing over his fingers and murmurs, “You’ve been holding out on me.” Takes his fingers out slowly, deliberately, licking them clean like it’s the most casual thing in the world. “You liked that? Want to do it again?” Baby, you do it again. And again. He finds the rhythm that makes you gush and uses it like a secret weapon.

Keigo Takami - Smirks the second he feels you squirt. “Damn, sweet bird. You just soaked my thighs. Should I be proud or concerned?” His wings are trembling, he’s so turned on he can barely keep his composure. Immediately leans down, tongue flicking over your clit to keep it going.“Gotta say, you’ve outdone yourself. Didn’t know my girl had that in her.” Won’t shut up about it for days. Brags to himself like you just won him a trophy.

Dabi - “Holy fuck.” That’s all he says when it happens the first time, right after three fingers pump into your cunt and your body arches, a flood soaking his lap. You think he’ll mock you. But instead, he licks his lips slowly and stares at you like you’re prey. “Do it again,” he growls. “Don’t care if you scream. I wanna see that pretty pussy gush ‘til you’re crying.” Unholy obsession unlocked. You’re not leaving that room dry again.

Tomura Shigaraki - Twitches. Pauses. Looks down. “You… what the fuck was that?” You’re panting, trembling, barely able to respond and that does something to him. He stares at the mess between your legs, smirking like he’s just discovered a new level of corruption. “Gross,” he murmurs, but his hand returns, rougher now. “Do it again. I wanna ruin this mattress.” You’re ruined instead. He becomes addicted to the power of making your body fall apart.

[feathery-dreamer]

hang on I need to sit down hold on

[pfatter-university]

Whoa! Pfatter University is just now recovering from a week-long cyberattack. Every device on campus was somehow infected by something called the Consu.m3 virus, causing all cell phones, computer monitors, and TV’s to display a hypnotic pattern 24/7. Anyone unlucky (or lucky?) enough to get caught staring into it succumbed to an insatiable appetite, consuming any nearby food as quickly as possible. If they ran out, they rabidly ordered and consumed mountain of takeout, mindlessly tossing their trash out the window. The traffic jam of UberEats and GrubHub delivery drivers has only just cleared up, and our groundskeepers are working overtime to clear all the styrofoam containers and candy wrappers off the quad.

Carlos, a computer science major, was the one who finally cracked the code, ridding our network of Consu.m3. He did let his greed get the best of him, though, and one late night in the lab found out how powerful the virus really could be ���

Watch Carlos fall victim to the super-charged Consu.m3 virus by joining our Senior Class tier on Patreon!

[botanyshitposts]

Hey plant man, I like your plant posts. Should give us a lil plant post to rotate in our brains if you have some time. Take this as permission to sling spaghetti at the wall for whatever Plant Stuff has been in ur head

(I also feel like i should tell you that I cannot for the life of me remember when I started following this blog but going through your lichen posts had me telling all my direct family members how much lichen now baffles me, so thank u for reminding me that Science Does Not Know All)

for years i've strongly envisioned a plant museum exhibit i would make if i ever became the guy who got to do that. imagine the biggest wall in the exhibit dedicated to showing how lepidodentrons became modern plants (and it would be utilized for that instead of some crowd pleaser dinosaur because of isoetes favoritism for me only, i would insist the space be used like that instead of something more cohesive. I would take the public and say LOOK AT IT). it starts at the left side with a life-sized lepidodendron silhouette and shows species getting smaller and smaller along the wall until the far right, where there's an aquairium with isoetes collected from the closest healthy isoetes population, preferably in the same area so people can be like 'whoa so close to us'.

version two of this exhibit would be to just have a tank of local isoetes beside a life-sized lepidodendron silhouette or replica so you could compare the sizes more directly. version three of this exhibit would be to put a tank of isoetes at that place in scotland that has the grove of fossilized lepidodendron stumps still upright in place from when their grove got flooded for the last time.

any of these would have merch in the gift shop too by the way.

[inseobts]

Green Rival

zoro x fem!reader + yonji x fem!reader

you all meet sanji's brothers again after wci and that's how your boyfriend zoro finds out you have another green haired suitor

words count: 3.2k

tags: sanji's annoying brothers, jealousy, romance, soft

masterlist || ko-fi

The day had started so well. The sea was calm, the weather was nice, and for once, nobody was trying to kill you.

But of course, peace never lasts when you’re with the Strawhats.

“Land ahead!” Luffy shouts from the crow’s nest.

Everyone gathers on deck, watching as a small island comes into view. Nami, ever the responsible one, is already squinting at her map.

“This island wasn’t on the log pose…” she mutters.

Sanji, who had been flipping a pan of eggs in the kitchen just moments ago, suddenly freezes mid-step. His cigarette nearly falls out of his mouth.

“Oi, what’s wrong with you weirdo?” Zoro asks, raising an eyebrow at Sanji’s weird reaction.

Sanji, looking like he just saw a ghost, grits his teeth “I have a very bad feeling about this...”

The moment you all step onto the island, it becomes very clear why.

Standing in the middle of a clearing, looking just as shocked as you all feel, are none other than Judge and the Vinsmoke brothers, aka Ichiji, Niji, and Yonji.

The silence is actually painful.

“…Well. This is awkward...” Nami says, breaking the tense atmosphere.

Judge just glares at Sanji like the disappointing science experiment gone wrong he thinks his son is. Sanji’s face twists in anger, and you’re already bracing for a fight...

... at least until Yonji (the green one btw) suddenly grins and rushes toward you.

“Y/N!!!!!”

Oh no.

Yonji practically sparkles as he walks up, chest puffed out like he’s the main event “It’s been way too long, gorgeous”

You resist the urge to groan. You knew this would happen. You knew the second he saw you, he’d start this nonsense again.

Zoro, however, was not expecting this at all.

“…What the...?”

Before you can even react, Yonji swoops down, takes your hand and kisses it, and then he winks “I never forgot about you, you know.”

Zoro’s eye twitches. Twice.

Franky watches with interest “Whoa. What’s happening?”

Chopper blinks “That guy is still flirting?”

Brook chuckles “Oh my, how bold!”

Nami, looking far too entertained, smirks at you “I forgot about this little detail from Whole Cake Island. The green one had a thing for you, huh?”

Zoro is still frozen. Processing. Trying to understand why this is a thing that exists in HIS world.

You, on the other hand, yank your hand back before Yonji can do something stupid... again “Yonji. No.”

Yonji gasps dramatically, clutching his chest “You wound me, y/n! After all the time we spent together in Whole Cake Island...”

“You mean the time you spent getting punched in the face?” Sanji interrupts, rubbing his temples like this is giving him an actual migraine.

Yonji waves him off “That's how we flirt...” He turns back to you, flashing what he clearly thinks is a charming smile “But I see you’ve still got that spark! You know, you don’t have to stay with your boyfriend... what was even his name? Or did you break up with him to be with me finally???”

Zoro finally snaps out of it “EXCUSE ME?!”

“Oh, so YOU are the competition...” Yonji muses, looking Zoro up and down with a disgusted face “Huh. I gotta say, y/n, you’ve got an interesting taste. He’s got the whole ‘grumpy ronin’ thing going on. You into that??”

Luffy perks up “Oh yeah, she’s totally into that...”

Nami grins “Yup, definitely her type.”

Chopper nods enthusiastically “Yeah, she likes grumpy, swordy guys.”

Brook laughs “Ahh, young love~”

Zoro, who had been slowly turning redder throughout this conversation, finally explodes “SHUT THE HELL UP, ALL OF YOU!!”

Yonji smirks “Touchy, huh? You sure he treats you right, y/n? Maybe you should consider a man who can actually handle you.”

Zoro immediately reaches for his swords “That’s it. I’m killing him. Now.”

You physically have to grab Zoro’s arm to stop him from committing actual murder “Zoro, breathe... Breathe.”

Yonji just smirks wider “See? He’s too hot-headed for you. A real man stays cool and confident. Just like me.”

Sanji, who has been suffering through this entire thing, finally loses it “OH FOR GOD’S SAKE, YONJI! Y/N WOULD RATHER DIE THAN GO ANYWHERE WITH OR NEAR YOU!”

Yonji sighs, placing a hand over his heart “You guys are so mean to me.”

Luffy laughs “This guy is kinda funny!”

Sanji lights up a new cigarette “Do not encourage him.”

Zoro glares at Luffy “Which side are you on?”

Brook hums “Although… now that I look at you two…”

You blink “What?”

Brook tilts his head “Yonji and Zoro… they do look kind of similar, don’t they?”

Everyone pauses.

You turn to look at Yonji. Then back at Zoro.

Oh my god.

The green hair. The sharp features. The stupidly stubborn expressions.

You gasp “Oh my god.”

Zoro frowns “What?”

You grin “Zoro… he... he kinda looks like you...”

Zoro’s eye twitches “NO HE DOESN’T.”

Usopp laughs and then he turns to the rest of the crew, so that everyone except for you, sanji and zoro could hear “He actually looks as if Zoro and Sanji had a son”

Everyone starts laughing, trying to hide from you and you look at them confused before Yonji steps in “Huh. Now that you all mention it… I am kinda like a better-looking version of him, aren’t I?”

Zoro draws his swords immediately.

“I WILL END YOU.”

The crew absolutely loses it. Luffy is on the floor wheezing, Nami is wiping tears from her eyes, and Sanji, for the first time in his life, actually agrees with Zoro about murdering someone.

You, meanwhile, just smirk and pat Zoro’s arm “Don’t worry. You’re the only green-haired idiot for me.”

Zoro grumbles, but you can see the tips of his ears turning pink “…Good.”

Yonji just sighs dramatically “Ah, well. Guess I’ll have to try again next time.”

Before anyone can react, he casually leans against a tree, arms crossed “Anyway, what brings you all here? Came to visit me?”

Zoro glares “Like hell we would.”

Yonji smirks “Deny it all you want, y/n clearly missed me.”

You see the change in Zoro’s demeanor almost immediately. His grip on his swords tightens. His brows furrow deeper, and you can practically hear the low growl in his throat. There’s something almost dangerous in the way he’s glaring at Yonji now.

Zoro, no longer content to just grumble, takes a step toward you, his eyes still locked on Yonji “You seriously don’t find this guy annoying?”

You blink, surprised by the sudden shift in his tone towords you “What? Yonji?”

Zoro’s eye twitches “Yeah, Yonji. That guy. You know, the one who can’t seem to keep his hands to himself—”

“Oh, come on, Zoro! I’m not interested in him” you interject, but it’s too late. Zoro’s already fuming. He crosses his arms, looking like he might set something on fire if his glare gets any more intense.

You sigh, giving him an exasperated look “I literally just told you, he’s annoying, okay? Does that make you happy?”

He doesn’t answer right away, just glares some more, while Yonji seems to be enjoying the show. You can’t help but notice how Zoro’s getting even more upset by the second. It’s like watching a kettle about to boil over.

“You don't have to say things you don't think just to make me happy and I swear, if I see him wink at you one more time…” Zoro mutters to himself, barely holding it together.

Nami, who’s been snickering in the background, calls out “Zoro, calm down! We’ve got bigger things to deal with than this drama.”

Luffy, ever the troublemaker, raises an eyebrow and says “Yeah, Zoro, you’re acting all jealous!”

Zoro shoots them both a deadly glare, making them immediately stop. But you can tell they all are having way too much fun with this.

You’re starting to feel like you might actually be caught in the middle of some absurd love triangle, and that’s definitely not what you signed up for today.

“Okay, enough with the staring contest,” you say, rolling your eyes, “Zoro, stop. You're acting like an idiot.”

Zoro huffs, still refusing to look at you “I’m not the idiot here and I'm not jealous,” he says through clenched teeth “I just don’t like the guy.”

“Sure, sure, Zoro,” you tease, walking up to him and nudging him with your shoulder “You really don’t like him, huh?”

Zoro shifts uncomfortably, clearly still not ready to admit anything. His eye twitches as he stares out into the distance, and you can see the muscles in his jaw working overtime today “Yeah. I really don’t like him, so what? Don't treat me like a kid...”

You smile softly at him “Don't pay him this much attention, he's just trying his best but it's useless anyway. And I have to admit, your jealousy is a bit cute” you say trying to make him relax about the situation, but this actually worsen everything but you realise it only later.

In fact, Zoro’s posture stiffens, and his fists ball at his sides. He finally turns his head, his gaze sharp and cold as he looks at you. For a moment, the tension between you both is thick enough to cut with a sword.

And then, without any warning, he growls “If you like him so much, why don’t you go with him then?”

You stare at Zoro in disbelief. The words hit you harder than you expected, and your heart does a little lurch in your chest. Your eyes narrow as you cross your arms, trying to keep your cool “What did you just say?”

Zoro shifts uncomfortably, clearly not ready for the words to come out like that, but his pride won’t let him backtrack. He looks away, then mutters “I said if you like him so much, go with him, then.”

Your mouth falls open, the shock of his words giving way to a flush of anger “Excuse me?” You take a step toward him, shaking your head in disbelief “What the hell is that supposed to mean? You really think I want to go off with him??”

Zoro stays silent, a vein popping in his temple as he looks anywhere but at you. His posture is stiff, like he’s forcing himself not to turn and walk away.

You continue, voice rising with frustration “You’re really THIS MUCH jealous of Yonji? Really?”

Zoro’s eye twitches “Stop saying that... I already said it, I’m not jealous” he says flatly, but you can see his hands balling into fists at his sides.

"Yeah? So I’m the problem, huh?" You take another step forward, chest puffed with frustration.

Before Zoro can retort, a voice interrupts, smooth, smooth as ever.

“You know, y/n,” Yonji says, stepping forward with a dramatic flourish “if you need someone who understands you, I’m here. I always was.”

You let out an exasperated groan, rolling your eyes so hard you nearly hurt yourself "Oh my god, Yonji, please stop now. I told you—"

Before you can even finish, Yonji is already presenting you with a ridiculous bouquet of flowers, smirking “You’ve always had such exquisite taste. I’m sure these would look beautiful on you.”

Zoro’s eye twitches again, his patience hanging by a thread “Are you seriously still doing this, you idiot? Can't you read the room?”

But Yonji doesn’t seem to care. He’s too busy smirking at you, eyes glinting as he presents the flowers like they’re the most precious thing in the world “You’re much too beautiful to settle for someone who can’t even get his words right to you” Yonji says smoothly, his voice dripping with faux sincerity.

This does not help.

You feel your patience starting to snap "Oh my God, Yonji!" you exclaim, throwing your hands up in the air “Seriously? Stop trying to give me flowers in the middle of this!” You take a deep breath and turn back to Zoro, who still looks like a bundle of rage and frustration.

He’s glaring at Yonji now, his jaw clenched and his body coiled like a spring, ready to snap. The silence that hangs between you all is thick with tension.

“I just want the best for you darling, and that's me, I'm clearly the best option”

And then, just like this the tension breaks.

Zoro suddenly yells, his voice booming with pure fury “I’LL KILL YOU, YOU DAMNED PEST!!”

The entire crew jumps in shock. You quickly turn to Zoro, trying to calm him down before the situation gets any worse “Zoro, please, calm down—”

But Zoro is already stalking toward Yonji, his swords drawn, every inch of him radiating the kind of anger you’re well acquainted with. You’re not sure whether to laugh or cry, but you definitely don’t want him making this worse.

“Zoro, stop!” you shout, rushing toward him and grabbing his arm before he can do anything rash "You’re acting like an idiot! Just let it go, please!”

For a moment, Zoro just stands there, muscles tense under your grip, his breathing ragged. His glare stays locked on Yonji, but he’s clearly fighting himself, trying to hold back.

Yonji, who’s been far too entertained by this entire scene, steps back with an exaggerated sigh “Ah, you two. Such passion,” he says, still holding out the bouquet like it’s a peace offering “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re both jealous. What’s the matter? Not enough room for two men in y/n’s life?”

Zoro’s eye twitches again. You, meanwhile, feel a headache coming on “Yonji, this is not helping!”

And that’s when it happens.

Zoro glances at you, eyes still sharp, but now there’s a hint of... something else? His voice drops low, almost like he’s growling under his breath “I don’t like anyone who gets in the way of what’s mine...” he says, and you freeze.

Wait, what did he just say?

Before you can process, Zoro turns around with a grumble “Whatever. I don’t have time to argue with you. We’re wasting time.”

You can’t help but laugh at his stubbornness. It’s adorable in its own way, and you finally decide to make it stop once and for all.

You take a step forward, pulling Zoro gently by the arm to face you. He looks down at you, eyes still a little tense, and you put your hands on his chest “Zoro,” you say with a soft smile “You're the only one I care about, okay?”

He freezes for a moment, as if trying to process your words. His expression softens, just a bit.

“You’re mine, huh?” you tease with a playful grin, mimicking his voice.

Zoro’s face goes a little pink, but he quickly brushes it off with a muttered, “Shut up.”

You laugh softly, finally stepping into his space, wrapping your arms around his waist “You’re such a dork,” you say affectionately, resting your head against his chest “But you’re my dork.”

He sighs, but this time, it’s not out of irritation. He relaxes, his arms wrapping around you “Yeah, yeah… don’t go getting all soft on me now.”

You pull back just a little, eyes gleaming with mischief “I could get really soft on you, you know.”

Zoro raises an eyebrow, then smirks “Not in front of everyone.”

At that, you both glance over at the rest of the crew, who are all staring at you two, wide-eyed, waiting for the next dramatic turn.

“You guys are all so immature” you groan, making Zoro chuckle as you try to hide burying your face into his chest.

“Well, someone had to tell that weirdo green Sanji who’s the boss” Zoro mutters, a soft smirk still on his face.

You laugh softly, finally feeling the calm after the storm of jealousy pass between the two of you. At least for now, anyway.

“And just for the record,” you add, “I’m not breaking up with you anytime soon, no matter how annoying Yonji gets.”

Zoro grumbles, but you catch the small, satisfied smile tugging at the corner of his mouth as he pulls you closer, ignoring the rest of the crew's teasing.

“Good” he says, settling into you.

The tension finally starts to dissipate. Yonji, seeing that his attempts at flirting have officially failed, grumbles to himself and starts wandering off “Whatever. You guys are no fun.” He gives one last exaggerated sigh, throwing his hands up, and disappears into the woods. Where the rest of his family left minutes ago without saying a word.

Franky, trying to lighten the mood, claps Zoro on the back, nearly knocking him off balance “Damn, Zoro, you’re really serious about her, huh?”

Zoro barely acknowledges him, still standing rigid, his arms crossed tightly. The rest of the crew, including Sanji, are chuckling or whispering among themselves, all far too entertained by the scene that just unfolded.

You take a deep breath, rubbing your forehead in exasperation “I swear, you guys are all impossible…”

Luffy grins, completely oblivious to the tension, and waves at you both “Alright! Let’s go, guys! We’re leaving! On to the next adventure!”

Nami and Chopper follow Luffy, not bothering to look back, still snickering. Brook gives a little laugh as he walks past, his bony fingers strumming a tune on his invisible guitar.

Sanji, still puffing on a cigarette, shoots you both a knowing glance before he follows after the rest of the crew “Don’t think I like you now just because I hate my brother more” he says with a wink.

Zoro grumbles something under his breath, but you can tell he’s starting to cool off. He turns his back to you and walks a few steps toward the ship, but then pauses.

You watch him for a moment, the way his broad shoulders relax as the weight of the situation begins to lift. When he’s not looking, you smile to yourself and quietly walk up behind him.

Without thinking too much about it, you quickly step forward, your heart racing a little. Before Zoro can turn around, you give him a quick kiss.

Zoro freezes, his body stiffening for a moment, and you quickly pull back, your heart pounding in your chest. For just a second, there’s a silence. The world seems to stop moving, and you hold your breath, wondering if you’ve done something ridiculous.

Zoro slowly turns his head, his face flushed, and he looks at you in surprise. But then he just grins, his usual smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.

“Is that your way of saying you’re not mad at me anymore?” he asks, his voice gruff but softer than before.

You laugh softly, not sure if you’re nervous or happy or both “Maybe,” you say, shrugging “But don’t let it get to your head. You’re still a pain in the ass.”

Zoro’s grin widens “I’ll take that as a win.”

With that, he turns back toward the ship, walking a bit slower now, as if he’s giving you a chance to catch up. You follow behind, a contented smile on your face, and you know that despite everything, all it's going to be okay.

And as you board the ship, side by side, you can’t help but feel a little lighter. Maybe this is how things were always meant to be.

[spaceycat]

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☆˚₊‧ ɴᴏᴡ ᴘʟᴀʏɪɴɢ ...  ╰┈➤ 𝚜𝚘𝚏𝚝𝚎𝚛, 𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚍𝚎𝚛, 𝚒𝚗-𝚋𝚎𝚝𝚠𝚎𝚎𝚗. 𝚙𝚝.𝟹/𝟺 𐙚₊˚

⋆★⋆ kiss me and tell me that you'll stay. ⋆★⋆ Part 1 & Part 2.

♫ ᴘʟᴀʏɪɴɢ: pushing it down and praying by lizzie mcalpine (3:54) // ༉‧₊˚ " he gives what he can, but now i don't know what he's giving for. " ᝰ.ᐟ

✰ pairing: calvin evans x fem!lab tech!reader

✰ cw: (no use of y/n & not proofread) smut, oral (f!recieving), calvin is a munch, revelation of feelings, kissing, exhibitionism if you squint, spit kink if you squint, swearing, some major yearning, angsty at the end, cliff hanger.. sorry

✰ word count: 3.1k+

✰ summary: you and calvin develop feelings for each other over the span of months and get to know each other better, but the entire thing with fran and her friends detests you from getting with him. until calvin takes you from your lab and brings you into his own and feelings among other things are exchanged.

(IMPORTANT: collaborated with @sammygidd with writing process + planning)

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༺colour chart༻ reader ❀ calvin ⚛︎ fran ✿ dr. donatti ☔︎

The stars glistened outside of the window of the lab the both of you were in, working late once more, added to the tally of the days spent in his own lab. Calvin was sitting at one of the counters, looking over his notes, jotting down corrections every so often. You were sitting, more like lying down on his battered couch that has been victim to too many chemical spills and burns throughout his time at Hastings. His head perked up from his notebook as he heard you softly snoring, the moon emitting a light overtop of your sleeping face. 

His eyes scanning over you for a moment too long, taking in your features.. Making little mental notes on how you looked while sleeping. “Wow ..” He quickly caught himself muttering something so simple under his breath, clearing his throat, but something that meant so much — he was catching feelings for you, strong ones. He rested his head on his hand, just watching you sleep. Your hair framing your face, a strand falling overtop one of your eyes. Calvin hesitated before his hand reached out, tucking the loose strand behind your ear, his thumb resting against your cheek for a little too long. He revoked his hand almost immediately as he saw you stir, pretending as if he were writing his notes. 

Your eyes slowly flutter open as you wake up, taking in the dimly lit lab around you – lifting your head, and stretching in the process. You yawned softly, looking over your shoulder to see Calvin taking some notes. “What have you written so far?” Speaking softly, a soft rasp to your voice, you smiled. “Uhm--” Calvin looked down at his notes, noticing that there were smudges on the page from when you took his attention. “Just on trends with electronegativity in the periodic table.. But– it’s all smudged." Calvin tsked as he realised that the ink got onto the sleeves of his button up and over the sides of his hands, his hands pushed up his sleeves to his elbows. 

In your sleep-induced state, you couldn’t help but stare - your lips parted slightly as your gaze trailed over his arms, like the first time. You then grabbed his notes off the table, trying to deduce his smudged writing and drawings, standing up you walked over to the sink. The uneven tiling caused you to stumble a bit, but then arms circled your waist. “Hey– hey, whoa. Careful.” Calvin helped you stand up straight, you then became very aware of the proximity or lack thereof between the two of you. “I don’t need my science partner falling on me.” A small smirk graced his face as he tucked a strand of hair that was disturbed from your near fall, his touch lingered just for a moment. Then an inch closer, you could feel the heat of his breath - your nerves on fire as his fingers grazed your waist. But something told you to tear away, told you that this was wrong - that you were feeding into the rumours Fran and her friends developed about you and Calvin, you didn’t want to prove them right. “I should go home– it’s late.” You nodded to yourself, avoiding his eye contact as you stepped away. Calvin’s hands slipped from your waist as you stepped away, grabbing your things. “Wait– I.. I’m sorry.” Calvin started up,

“No, Calvin. You’re fine.” You grabbed your necessities from your desk, shoving them haphazardly into your bag. “I didn’t mean for it to be like that—” “I’m not saying you did.” You finally met his gaze, his blue eyes boring into your own - full of confusion, sadness and something you couldn’t quite note. Calvin grew silent at your remark, leaning back against the sink. “Goodnight, Dr. Evans.”

Calvin was going to respond when he heard you call him by his title, reminding him of the separation between the two of your roles in the lab - a reversal of everything the two of you have built in a way too, all because he got a little lovestruck. “Goodnight.” Calvin looked to the ground, not looking up till you left - not wanting to cement the image of you leaving him all alone in his mind. As he heard the click of your heels retreating and the familiar close of his lab door, it felt quiet. The quiet that he typically enjoyed, the solitude and the isolation from everyone else. But now it just felt empty, saddening.

You two never talked about that late night in the lab, never talked about the light touches, the closeness, the intimacy - you both preferred not to have that conversation. Regardless, over the span of a couple more weeks, you and Calvin continued to grow closer learning the little things, like how he hated the rain but loved water like lakes and rivers, how he got into chemistry in the first place. Calvin showed you a side you didn’t know existed in people, tranquility, kindness, acceptance. He listened to you and seemed interested in you, what you had to say.  The scientists and secretaries gossiped about it, continuously. Earning you weird looks in the hallway whenever you were beside him, or walking to his lab. But you didn’t mind it, at least you thought you didn’t. 

You were in your designated lab, keeping to yourself - looking over some notes Calvin gave you a couple hours ago. Speak of the Devil, Calvin just walked in, looking over the place quickly, practically radiating nervous energy until his gaze landed on you. Without a single word, Calvin walked over to you, a hand placed to your lower back as he directed you out of the room. “Calvin? What’s going on?” He didn’t say a thing, walking you into his lab a couple doors down. You were looking around, confused. “If this is about the other night, I really don't–” He then pulled you into a kiss, you immediately pulled back. “Calvin, I–” You placed a hand to your lips, looking up at him. You detested these thoughts for so long, but now it seems like nothing could be anymore right. You looked at him, just for a beat, before pulling him into another kiss. This one more heated, his hands moved to your hips - his touch tentative at first, fingers lightly grazing your hip bone. “Tell me that you want this– please.” Calvin mumbled against your lips, the words spilling out before he could process them. “I want this, Calvin.” “I know– I know that this isn’t professional..” “I don’t care about being professional right now, not with you.” Then something shifted in him, you felt it in the air - like your words just broke all of the restraints. His arms wrapped around your waist, moving to sit you on a clearing on one of the lab tables.

“Don’t touch or break anything.” His tone authoritative, he looked over you - as if, if he didn’t keep you in his sights you’d disappear. Silence fell over the two of you, the sound of heaving breaths filling the space - you tentatively bit your lip looking up at him.

Calvin’s tongue flicked over his lips, staring you down as he raised a hand to pull your kissed bottom lip from your teeth - dragging it down until his thumb let go of it. “I want to go down on you.” His blatant request took you by surprise, but the way he was looking at you like an experiment made your stomach flip.

“I– I want that too, but you dont need–” You cut yourself off as he moved to kneel on his knees in front of you. He was eager, and he wanted this too, almost more than you. You watched as he rolled up his sleeves, unbuttoning the cuffs - revealing the toned arms you’ve grown to love so much. He looked up at you, his eyes boring into yours as he opened a couple of the top buttons on his shirt. “If you make a mess you clean it.” Calvin looked dead serious as he moved closer to you - hands pushing up your skirt. His fingers gently tracing the patterns of the tights you wore, he muttered a compliment under his breath you couldn’t hear over the beating of your own heart. He made quick work of the buckles on your shoes placing them down neatly beside him, his gaze returning to the tights.

“As much as I love these, I’d much rather have them off." “Mhm–” “Lift your hips.” You complied, lifting your hips off the counter a bit as he started to take off the stretchy fabric. Your discarded tights joined your shoes beside him. 

Calvin’s hands then moved over your legs, feeling the soft skin beneath his palms without the covering cloth, his hands were big against your legs, the veins defined as his hands gripped onto the underneath of your thighs - pulling you closer to the edge of the counter.

Calvin then bunched your skirt to your hips, placing a kiss to the top of your knee, then one closer to the inside of your leg, then your thigh - placing a soft bite to the inside of the smooth skin, easing it over with an apology kiss. 

The sensation was good on its own, but it was the way his eyes were watching your face the entire time, watching your reactions and what felt good. His large hands returned to your legs, parting your thighs so he could nestle himself further between them. His pointer finger trailed down the edge of your panties, taking note of the way the lace felt under his touch and how your breath hitched in response.

Your hand moved down to cup the side of his face, he moved his head to kiss your palm - his kisses trailing up to the tip of your fingers, taking two of them into his mouth. As the warm heat of his mouth enveloped your fingers, your jaw dropped a bit - lips parted as you watched him suckle them. His eyes hooded and staring into yours made a soft whimper come out of you. 

Calvin retracted, your fingers leaving his mouth - he placed a soft kiss to the wet digits before resuming his previous state. He hooked your legs over his shoulders, moving impossibly closer to your core. He placed a kiss to your inner thigh next to your soaked cunt, then another over your clothed slit - earning yet another moan from you.

Long fingers moved aside your laced panties, leaning back onto his calves as he admired the state of you. Kissed lips, the blush creeping up your neck, the way your pussy fluttered around nothing as he examined you like he was about to take you apart, which in a way he was.

Calvin then dove in, not wanting to waste another moment. He licked a stripe all the way from your entrance to your clit, eyes trained on yours the entire time. He took your clit into your mouth, noting how your hands scrambled into his hair - encouraging him further. He rolled the swollen nub between his teeth and tongue, a bit of spit and mixture of your arousal dripping down the side of his mouth. 

His mouth then moved down to your entrance, lapping at your arousal like a dog - tongue poking into your heat a bit. Calvin’s nose bumped against your clit, earning a moan from you - your head fell back, colliding with a couple beakers, making them clatter against each other from the force. 

Calvin’s voice was muffled against your pussy but you could still hear him and feel the vibrations, “What did I say?” “S-Sorry..” You placed a hand over your mouth being reminded that you were in a public space, and as Calvin continued his rhythm without faltering, your hands tightened in his neatly combed hair but he didn’t care, not in the slightest.

Calvin continued to lap at your cunt, tongue picking up any arousal that poured out of you - his mouth then placed a couple kisses to your inner thigh, moving back onto his calves again. Then you noticed the sheer amount of slick and spit that coated his mouth, chin and tip of his nose, a small whimper extracted from you. His tongue darted out to wet his lips, tasting you on him - earning a small groan from him.

His fingers moved to your pussy, the coldness of them a stark contrast to your aching, hot core. Calvin’s middle and pointer fingers pulled back your folds, revealing you completely to him - watching as your core clenched around nothing. “Don’t worry, sweet girl. I’ll let you cum.” He moved back in, his pace increasing tenfold, eager to make you cum on his tongue. Your hands weaved themselves back into his hair, tugging at the roots - making him groan softly against you. His hands moved to the undersides of your thighs, moving them further apart. 

You felt that coil tighten in your stomach, “Calvin– I- I’m gonna..” But Calvin didn't say a word, his eyes trained on your face eager for your reaction as he moved his tongue faster against your weeping cunt. 

Your heels dug into his back as your orgasm overcame you, your moans bouncing off the walls. You didn’t care if people heard you at this point. Calvin held you through it - not letting up with his tongue until you were pushing at his shoulders from overstimulation. 

Calvin moved back, the only sound in the room being both of your heaving breaths, Calvin wiped your slick from his face - gently pulling your panties back overtop your core, placing a kiss to your thigh before pulling your skirt back down your body. He eventually rose from his spot, running a hand through his tugged tugged hair.

Calvin then let out a frustrated sigh as he looked down at himself. “Now my pants are all scuffed--"Calvin mumbled, wiping off some of the dust from the floor that made its way onto the knees of his pants. You were watching him the entire time, breath still heaving, then you grew bored. You placed a hand to the side of Calvin’s face, tilting his head back to yours. Your other hand moved to his arm, pulling him into another heated kiss. You tasted yourself on his lips but you didn’t care, and he didn’t seem to care about his pants all that much anymore.

– – – – – – – –

The next day, you came into work earlier than you usually did and took more time that morning doing your hair and makeup, not really thinking that Calvin would notice that much, but he was observant and it doesn’t hurt to feel prettier than usual for a day. You walked into your lab first, setting down your things - noticing how the scientists just stared at you, sharing laughs and whispers. “More dolled up than you usually are Lab Tech, any reason why?” “Any scientists you’re trying to impress?” “Anyone need supplies from Evans’ office?”

And you just stood there, staring at them all - and you wondered if Calvin told them about what you did, but Calvin wouldn’t do that. He wasn’t the type and he openly says that he doesn’t talk to these idiots anyways, but you still worry and you still spiral. Maybe someone heard something? Or maybe people just started talking again because both you and Calvin walked out of this very lab you were in, in a hurry. Or maybe people heard you, that would be the most obvious one.

You needed to find Calvin, and fast. Ask him to explain everything and tell you that it was all a misunderstanding and it was all under control, give you some peace of mind. You walked out of the lab, ignoring the hoots and whistles as you did. You beelined for Calvin’s lab, but as you were walking down the hallway - you saw Calvin walking down the same one from the opposite way, then he caught sight of you, stepping back for a moment before returning the same way he came from. You were lost and confused, was he ignoring you? Was this all a ploy to get you fired? What was he doing? You had so many questions yet no answers, you then felt a hand on your shoulder - you quickly turned around, shrugging it off. It was Fran, her voice quiet and almost mocking as you saw the slight smirk on her face and the enjoyment radiating off of her, “Dr. Donatti needs to see you right now, hun. He says it’s important.” “Yeah… I’ll be there in a minute, I just need to-” “He said now, not in a minute.” 

You let you a sigh, walking down the hallway to Dr. Donatti’s office. People stared at you and whispered, and you just had to stay there and take it.

“We’ve heard things of a relationship that is evolving between you and Dr. Calvin, a romantic relationship between a lab tech and a chemist is against our policy and promotes an uncomfortable workspace.” You shifted in your seat a bit, “We’re not together, Dr. Donatti. I can promise you that, it’s just rumours.” It was true for the most part, you and Calvin never actually confirmed anything, just had a hookup, whether that hookup was meaningless or not was still up in the air.

“Even if they’re just rumours, we cannot risk our reputation here. Fran will help you pack your things, I’ll give you a few days to say your goodbyes.” “What?-- n-no, you can’t do that. I’ve worked so hard for this job, for you.” “You’re just a lab tech, you can be easily replaced, sweetheart.” That pet name made your blood boil, you stood up. “Is Calvin getting fired?” “No, he’s a chemist.” “If you’re firing me for committing what you propose, you should fire him too, he committed to it as much as I did.” “So you admit, there is something going on between you and Dr. Evans?” “That’s– that’s besides the point, you’re being unfair. You’re being subjective and sexist.” 

Donatti also stood up, “What gives you the authority to speak to me with such a tone, proclaiming I’m sexist for wanting to protect Hasting’s reputation.” “And you’re proclaiming that rumours about me that for the majority aren’t true are justifiable enough to fire me.”

Dr. Donatti hesitated, “Y..You–” He fell silent for a moment, “I’ll talk to the board about.. reconsidering your termination.” You can tell he was apprehensive saying that. You didn’t say anything in return, you didn’t say thank you - grabbing your things and leaving his office. You were going to find Calvin and you were going to speak to him, if it was the last thing you did at this job. Stalking towards his lab, your eyes stung and it felt like the world was staring at you, you made your way to the familiar door, hand grabbing the handle.

════ ⋆★⋆ ════ 

taglist; @gryffindorquid-ditchcap-blog, @hushhhs09 @justsomerandompersonintheworld, @yagurlannastasia, @cultish-corner, @lynn7nunez, @emma8895eb, @the-lynnie-the-pooh @itzbowiepullman

[revelboo]

YESS I HOPE YOU MAKE MORE PAPI MEGATRONUS 🫶

Give It Up Pt 4

Megatronus Prime x Reader

• Bored since your giant is staring at his weird alien tablet, you amuse yourself with trying to look up under his mask. Helmet. Whatever it is he has going on. Trying to decide if that’s his actual face or if there’s something underneath. Watch him remove a little thing from the tablet and hold it up grumbling nonsense at you while you lean to try and look under his mask and he taps you on your helmet hard enough with a servo to send you staggering back before handing you your display. Growling some more at you while you reattach it and he lifts his hand with the little thing he’d removed to touch the back of his helm.

• Fiddling with your primitive tech and chirping softly at him while he syncs the partially decoded language file, he shudders slightly as it integrates. “-twenty percent already? That can’t be right,” you’re mumbling as you swipe a gloved finger on your display. Helmet bent over the tiny screen, you make a soft noise. “How bad a way to go is suffocation?” Suffocation? Reaching out a servo, he hooks it around you and turns you. “Whoa, hey. Easy big guy.” Optics narrowing at the tank on the back of your suit, he vents. What exactly are you breathing?

• “What gasses are you breathing?” He asks and you freeze. Because he asked. In actual words instead of just growling at you. Gaping up at him, you’re silent. “Can you understand me, little one?” Reaching out he taps your oxygen tank and you stumble away, afraid he’s going to damage it without meaning to. How is he speaking your language? Is that what he wanted your console for? To learn your language?

• “I can understand you,” you say, shadowy features upturned to stare at him. “I need air, I’m running out. My tank might have a leak.” Rumbling softly, he knows the translation files are rough at best. Needing more data from you, from interacting with you to be complete. Needs you to keep talking. “Really wish I’d paid more attention in my science classes. Maybe if I could remember the molecule I could draw it.” Watches you lift your little hands, laying them on your helmet. Scared and alone in a strange place. Maybe one of his other Primes can help figure out your air?

• “Don’t worry, little one. You won’t suffocate,” he says and you want to believe him. Need to. Because you have much less oxygen than you’d initially thought. It was never meant to last long, though. You weren’t supposed to be on this side of the gate for more than five minutes tops. The suits meant to withstand radiation and hostile environments. For a short period of time. But there wasn’t supposed to be giant, sentient alien life on the other side either. Air, water, and food. If you can’t get access to all three, you’re dead.

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[jirsungs]

she has no idea | no idea drabble

word count: 1k words

pairing: unistudent!donghyuck x f!reader

synopsis: you became a part of donghyuck's life from the moment he noticed you at freshman orientation, even though he didn't become a major influence on yours until junior year. alternatively, the day donghyuck gained a crush on you before you even took notice of him. (set in & a reference from the no idea universe, but can be read as a standalone!)

warnings: very small usage of explicit language, mention of jaehyun as y/n's older cousin & johnny as hyuck's adviser (both who have already graduated in the no idea timeline 💔), kinda secret admirer!donghyuck, this is basically context to donghyuck's crush on you

a/n: it has been months! hello! today, i listened to the "no idea" playlist, which i use for inspiration after months of never touching it, and this somehow sprouted out in my head. hopefully, this'll get me back into the groove of posting on here again, but if not, i hope you shower this drabble with love 🩷 feedback is always appreciated! happy reading <3

SNU's freshman orientation. The school of Donghyuck's dreams. Since middle school, his mother has always determined where he will spend the following four years of his life, pursuing a degree in something he wasn’t fully passionate about. She particularly told him that learning computer science would help him (or more specifically, them) in the long term and that he would be "qualified" for a computer job at their family company, following "his father's footsteps."

Yeah... He wouldn't use the term excitement to describe his current feelings.

Well.

Until he saw you, that is.

"Johnny, who's that?" Donghyuck asks his new friend and senior adviser, who was supposed to show him around, but ended up putting them both in the middle of the campus, where a variety of clubs were showcasing their events.

The said man notices you handing out club fliers once he crouches down a little to follow Donghyuck's gaze. "Oh, her? That's Y/N!"

"She's gorgeous."

Simply said, when Donghyuck saw you, it felt like getting struck by an explosion of flowers and a blow to the heart. It didn't feel like him, and it was overly theatrical and unrealistic. Your hair in a ponytail with a few strands falling to the side swung in the summer breeze, and your basic ensemble of a white tube top and baggy jeans somehow complemented your physique flawlessly. To him, the entire situation seemed to have originated from one of those corny mangas he consumed, but he felt strange for staring at you for so long. Surprisingly, he was the protagonist, who just fell in love with his love interest instantly. 

But before he had an opportunity to think about his pleasant thoughts, he heard an irksome remark next to him. 

"And way out of your league." The voice of Johnny interrupts.

Upon hearing his senior's remarks, he ultimately turns his eyes away from you and glares at the former while shoving his shoulder. "Dickface. Then, how do you know her?"

"Everyone knows her." Johnny gives a casual chirp. "She's the younger cousin of a popular guy in my year, Jaehyun, which probably helped her gain a popularity boost. Not only that, she also took part in a lot of summertime activities."

Donghyuck declares in complete amazement, "Wow." This results in him looking over and admiring you once more.

A smirk emerges on Johnny's face as he replies, "Wanna go say hi, Romero?" to the obviously preoccupied younger man.

Donghyuck's ears pick up the utterly astounding idea almost immediately. What blasphemy. He can't introduce himself to you, especially not now when he's wearing only his clear-rimmed lenses and a matching pair of black sweats.

Man, he ought to have dressed more appropriately for this. He should have at least taken the time this morning to put on his contacts.

He shakes his head rapidly as he looks at Johnny as though he's grown a second head. "Whoa, no. No way. Absolutely not. I mean—" He thinks about it for a moment. "Yeah, no, dude, I can't."

However, before he realized it, he and Johnny were walking to the club's stand where you and a few others, he supposed, club members, were distributing fliers.

When you see them, you put on your best customer service smile and hold out your hand to deliver them a flyer. "Hello! Are you guys interested in joining the Poetry Club? My cousin, Jaehyun, is the club president, and they get together on Fridays and Tuesdays."

Since Donghyuck wasn't going to step in first, Johnny did. "Unfortunately, no, but my friend over here—" The next thing Johnny knows, Donghyuck’s gone.

"Oh, I think your friend left, Johnny," you laugh awkwardly.

The freshman's abrupt disappearance makes Johnny tsk. "That little shit."

Donghyuck was lucky that neither you nor Johnny noticed him hiding behind a random tree nearby. The idea of him conversing with you could cause him to faint on the ground because his heart was already racing at the sight of you. If he couldn't survive being in the same vicinity as you, there was no way he'd go through a whole conversation. 

From that moment on, just as he was hiding behind a tree, he made a vow to himself to hide behind your shadow instead. He was aware that you were far out of his league and that you would associate with others who came from a crowd that he didn't fit into. 

He did, in fact, enter one Poetry Club meeting with the sole purpose of seeing you again, only to discover that you were not there. He stayed for the remainder of the meeting; however, as Jaehyun introduced the club, his words entered through one ear and left through the other, as he felt guilty for trying to leave early. It turns out that you weren't committed to the club; you were only helping to spread the word about it. 

Weeks turned into months, and it appears he was correct. You did come from two separate worlds. His favorite days were when he saw you on campus; he progressively imprinted your schedule into memory. Since your boyfriend's and friends' faces were the talk of the town around your school, he labeled them the "popular crowd." It was common to see you out and about with them.

He took notice that you had to arrive dressed up every time, and Donghyuck's opinion of you remained the same even when you weren't. He had never seen anyone more beautiful than you. But then, he’d look at himself and remember that he walks into class sporting his usual outfit: a hoodie and sweatpants. And on the days when he made an effort to seem presentable (in hopes of impressing you), he succeeded in nothing because you never gave him a passing glance.

He took satisfaction in staying home every Friday night while his group of friends shouted over their game of D&D Monopoly, while you busied yourself on the cheerleading team, cheering at school events. He was the person who took comfort in being on the sidelines, and you were the girl who belonged in front of a lively and enthusiastic crowd. 

So, with that in mind, he knew it was better for everyone that he’d stay as a secret admirer, regardless of how much he wanted you.

Perhaps the time will come when he musters the courage to make a move on you, but from where he's standing right now? Not a chance.

[feathery-dreamer]

what a beautiful translucent NFL regulation football

Nautilus expedition live streams (+ their commentary) | 2024

[erbiumspectrum]

So I'm taking this class called molecular driving forces and it's something like stat mech for chemistry and it blows my mind like every week. Today the professor asked us why heat flows from warm objects to cold objects and everyone was like entropy! Temperature! Equilibrium! and he was like yeah yeah but what's it really about when you get to the bottom of it? And the answer was statistics - because the number of states in which these two bodies are in a thermal equilibrium is much (like, much) greater than the number of states in which they aren't, and so thermal equilibrium is the most probable outcome. And the thing that decks me every time is that it's always statistics, it's all statistics.

So anyway, every week I'm like WHOA THIS IS WHY I CHOSE A SCIENCE DEGREE and if you're also a science student (or used to be one) please reblog and add your moments of awe at the beautiful complexity of our universe pretty please!! I want to read your stories! Science appreciation chain!!

[ericshoney]

Stark's Wit~ Tony Stark

Summary: You're not the best at hand-to-hand combat, but your the second best Stark with sarcastic responses.

Warnings: Platonic nicknames, possible swearing, sarcastic humour.

Reader's Age: 18

The biting wind whipped around Y/n as she stood on the training platform, a scowl etched on her face. Sparring with super soldiers in January was not her idea of a fun Friday afternoon. Especially when all she had to defend herself was the Stark family arsenal of sarcasm.

“Alright, kid, you ready?” Steve, radiating earnest encouragement, adjusted his gloves. Beside him, Bucky simply stared, his metal arm gleaming dully in the overcast light. Sam hovered behind them, a wry grin on his face. He knew how this usually went.

"Born ready, Captain Rogers," Y/n quipped, her voice dripping with irony. "Just try not to break anything too important. Dad would have a conniption if his precious lab assistant came back in pieces."

Steve winced. He still wasn't entirely used to Y/n's… bluntness. "We'll be careful, Y/n. This is just for practice."

"Practice for what? The Super Soldier Olympics?" She rolled her eyes. "Last time I checked, my skill set leaned more towards coding and caffeine addiction, not hand-to-hand combat."

Bucky finally spoke, his voice gruff. "Everyone needs to know how to defend themselves, Stark. Especially with your… family history."

That hit a little too close to home. Y/n tightened her jaw. "Right, because I specifically asked to be born into a world of interdimensional travel, rogue AI, and sentient purple grapefruits. My bad."

Steve sighed and stepped forward. "Alright, enough talking. Let's see what you've got."

The next few minutes were, to put it mildly, humiliating. Steve, ever the gentleman, pulled his punches, but even he couldn't help but land a few glancing blows. Bucky, predictably, was less restrained. His metal arm was like a battering ram, and Y/n found herself mostly dodging and weaving, her reflexes surprisingly sharp despite her lack of formal training.

"Having fun yet?" Sam called out, leaning against the railing.

"Oh, I'm having a ball, Sam," Y/n gasped, narrowly avoiding Bucky's fist. "This is exactly how I pictured spending my Friday: getting pummeled by a century-old assassin. Living the dream, really."

She managed to duck under Steve’s arm and deliver a swift kick to his shin. It wasn’t exactly a knockout blow, but it was enough to make him stumble.

"Not bad, Y/n," Steve said, rubbing his leg. "You're getting faster."

"Years of dodging Dad's bad science puns have honed my reflexes," she retorted, then spun to face Bucky, who was advancing with a predatory gleam in his eye. "Alright, Tin Man, let's dance!"

Bucky lunged. This time, Y/n tried a different tactic. As he swung his metal arm, she sidestepped and grabbed a handful of his long hair, yanking him off balance.

"Whoa! Hey!" Bucky sputtered, momentarily disoriented.

"Sorry, Barnes! Didn't know you were so sensitive about your 'vintage chic' hairstyle," Y/n said, releasing him and darting away.

Sam burst out laughing. Even Steve cracked a smile. Bucky, however, wasn't amused. He charged again, his movements less precise, fueled by irritation.

Y/n knew she couldn't keep this up forever. She was already winded, and her sarcasm reserves were starting to run dry. As Bucky cornered her near the edge of the platform, she knew she was out of options.

"Okay, okay, I surrender!" she yelled, throwing her hands up in the air. "Uncle! Mercy! I admit defeat! You win, metal arm! You’re the best at… uh… arming metal-ly! Yeah, that’s the one.”

Bucky stopped, his expression a mixture of annoyance and begrudging amusement. “You’re impossible, Stark.”

“That’s what my therapist keeps telling me,” Y/n said, panting. She collapsed onto a nearby bench, gathering her breath.

Steve clapped her on the shoulder. "You did well, Y/n. You're quick, and you think on your feet. You just need to work on your… offensive capabilities."

"My offense is impeccable," Y/n said, gesturing to Bucky. "Just ask him. I practically incapacitated him with my devastating wit."

Sam snorted. "Yeah, well, wit doesn't exactly stop a bullet."

"True," Y/n conceded. "But it can annoy someone enough that they forget what they were going to do in the first place. That's a defense mechanism in itself, right?"

She looked up at their faces, a hopeful glimmer in her eyes. They were her dad’s friends, family even. And despite the inherent strangeness of having super soldiers trying to turn her into a miniature Avenger, she knew they cared.

Steve, ever the optimist, gave her a reassuring smile. "It's a start, Y/n. We'll keep working on it."

"Great," Y/n said, her sarcasm returning full force. "Just promise me one thing: next time, can we at least do this in a heated environment? And maybe with a pizza? I'm pretty sure I can weaponize pepperoni."

Bucky rolled his eyes, but there was a hint of a smile playing on his lips. Even he had to admit, Y/n Stark, with her sharp tongue and Stark-brand stubbornness, was growing on him. Even if she did almost pull his hair out. He smirked, “I’d pay to see that.”

As the three men began to pack up, Y/n pulled out her phone. Time to order that pizza. And maybe send Dad a text. Something along the lines of: 'Almost got murdered by Bucky today. Send backup (and maybe a new shield design. Sarcasm-proof, preferably).

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