#You Know... Kinda Valid Point!
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okay so seadvvellers have immvnity from many treasonovs crimes like harboring a mvtant and clovvns do too. vvhy not indigo!? vvhat did vve do to get singled ovt like that?! yes i am an indigo mad for personal reasons bvt its stvpid.
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A-anime?
you know, sometimes I forget that Twst is actually an isekai that starts with the protagonist getting run over by an inexplicable horse-drawn carriage. and every time I'm reminded is a delight because that's AMAZING.
also. look. okay. there's a lot of very fun stuff in the trailer but I am obsessed with that Crowley surprised pikachu face. me when I spend all my keys and gems literally hours before they announce overblot SSRs and drop the anime trailer:
#twisted wonderland#twst anime#<- gonna use that for anime stuff in case anyone wishes to filter it#this is the point where i once again have to admit that i have not really read the manga#(i've liked what i've seen but it's very hard for me to keep up with stuff a lot of the time)#(the anime may actually be easier for me to absorb it in :')#god i GOTTA draw the manga yuus#i kept meaning to when yuuna got revealed but i didn't get around to it before 7-13 ate my brain 😭#anyway the bits they chose for the trailer are pretty interesting to me!#like i think chances are good it was mostly from that one sequence because given the timeline#they probably don't have a ton of 100% finished post-comp footage yet so they probably just took what they have#but also i'm thinking back to how deliberately vague all the game promo stuff was#and...okay again i don't really know how they did it in the manga but i am reminded of how overblotting was actually like. a twist.#a twst twist#like we were introduced to it in the prologue with the mine phantom#but riddle's overblot was an actual SURPRISE and like. an instant reveal that okay THIS is what the story's gonna be about#so i'm just kinda wondering if the anime promos might also like...actively try not to spoil everything#or if they're gonna go full anime-intro 'here's all the super spoilery scenes you can expect to see :)'#basically is the marketing gonna skew towards new viewers or established fans. both valid i'm just curious!#also excuse me for a moment as i reveal myself as a hugely pretentious snob but#oh my god the backgrounds actually have some texture and shape and are taking style cues from the game backgrounds#oh my god the castle exterior actually looks illustrative and fantastic and isn't just a 3d model they plopped in#it's hard to tell at this point how consistent that'll be since most of the trailer is in the mirror chamber#but i'm just SO happy to see it! hopefully this means they weren't crunched to fuck and are able to really go ham#(the pre-isekai scenes all look more generic modern anime so like...is that a conscious artistic choice they made)#(because that would be incredible. holy shit.)
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Luthor's Cricket part 5
Previous. Masterpost
Lex was able to distract the teen with a different documentary in the living room of his Penthouse. Said teen, however, made it loudly known that some of the information they were using was false, stupid, and downright biased. Granted, Lex was not paying attention when selecting the first documentary on the list. Apparently, it was a supernatural one called ‘All but Paranormal’ or something of the like. From the shouting, Lex could gather that they were able to interview Zatanna and Dr. Fate, Phantom took great exception to whatever Dr. Fate had to say about Ghost, Demons, and other supernatural creatures. Lex did bark a laugh at Phantom's remark of “Fate's biased view is just as blatant as that glaring beacon of a head!” and “If Fate is a Doctor, then I fear for the intellectual competency of the rest of the world! This means you too, Mr. Luthor!” Lex simply ignored the last part.
Oddly enough, even with the obnoxious commentary from Phantom and the absolute frustration of his magically inclined contacts ignoring him, it was not as tiring as he thought it would be.
“Phantom.” Lex called as he left his office.
“Yes, Boss?” Phantom paused the TV and turned to him with a small lopsided smile.
“Do you eat?” Lex asked.
Phantom clearly did not expect the question with how his face displayed shock and confusion. “Uh, ya. I can eat human food. It's not needed, but it's nice to have. Why?”
“It is about time for dinner, I am thinking Foie Gras-”
“Do all rich people eat such pretentious sounding food? Seriously, what is wrong with just burgers, burritos, and mac n’ cheese?” Phantom said with derision.
“Some people like to experience the finer things in life-”
“When was the last time you enjoyed a “finer” thing that wasn't the direct cause of flaunting your power?” Phantom asked seriously. “Just one time.”
Lex…. He found himself at a loss. When Was the last time he actually enjoyed food for its taste alone. Most food prepared at the Galas were pretty cardboard at best. The high-end restaurants were better quality, but Lex only went to those as a power display, and even then, it was for a business deal or a ‘relaxed’ meeting of sorts. Even when he is home alone, he would order high value items so the staff wouldn't spread gossip about his ‘actual’ tates to the papers. The cooks he employed were fantastic at their jobs, the food was always flavorful and filling.
But….
Probably the last time he actually enjoyed a meal was when his younger sister visited. She brought with her some greasy, cheesy mess of a burger wrapped in foil from a truck from the park across the street. She had laughed at his disgusted face and said “If it was good enough for Bruce Wayne and his kid to stand in line for, it's good enough for us!”
That was about eight years ago.
After that meal, they had fought, and she stormed out. She has only contacted him through email for Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas.
Lex ordered pizza from his cooks that night.
Next
#dpxdc#dcxdp#luthor's cricket#Danny asking the hard questions#Lex has a /decent/ relationship with his sister#dont mind the low contact they have right now#Lex kinda was a jerk#Lena did blow it up a bit#both feel bad but dont know how to really apologize yet#both are valid in their feelings#Danny sitting there trying to remember all the therapy/phycology Jazz used to spit out#also Danny: I cant just tell him to get a cat. He would just turn into Dr. Evil and i dont think this world is ready for that.#Lex doesnt feel like a cat person.... more like a Guinea Pig sort of guy#also Danny: looks like a fruitloop. Talks like a fruitloop. Actually listens and doesnt dismiss every word I say??????#👀👀👀 You get a singular point.... two for Pizza#even if it isnt pizza chain quality
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Maurice Sendak | I get so jealous of euthanized dogs, June Gehringer | The Godfather, Mario Puzo | The Great Believers, Rebecca Makkai | Wasted, Marya Hornbacher | Things Haunt, Joshua Jennifer Espinoza.
#tom hagen#sonny corleone#the godfather#tomsonny#web weaving#on loving and losing#is basically the theme of the of this#btw you know i'm down bad bad when marya hornbacher of all the people reminds me of my favorite 1940's italian crime syndicate lmao#btw i kinda wanted to include both quotes but it didn't really fit#but i find it so fascinating and quite real how tom initially has some pretty damn valid criticisms of sonny#and is actively worried about what a shit don he's going to be in the long term#but the minute he dies it's just like...Sonny was perfect he was my savior and he never did anything wrong ever#and i actually do know he believes it at this point#anyway i'll never be even remotely normal about those two so don't expect it from me#anyway happy new years y'all#i plan to be even more annoying about the godfather in 2025 :)
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I think my thoughts on the penultimate episode can be summoned up as disappointment over a potential we didn't get to see, and why that's ok. (This got long, 1.4k oops lol)
Am I a fan of The Rat Grinders? ABSOLUTELY. I think I started liking them even more when they were full-on confirmed villains. As fan's of the edited show, watching with a week between each episode to theorize and think, I loved seeing and theorizing over these 6 fucked up kids. We know Kipperlily prior to the second half of sophomore year, while she obviously still had her anger and jealousy over TBK's it wasn't ENTIRELY unjustified and completely out of control (although some aspects were utterly and absolutely unfounded and ridiculous). Jawbones file mentions her language being "I think Aguefort likes them more", "The school takes it easy on them", and "Half of them don't even go to classes." All of these are true things people in this world would notice. It's not until AFTER their Mountain of Chaos chaperoned trip, at the end of the year, that KLCK switches to "I hate them." The Bad Kids further briefly discuss if Jace would have asked Jawbone/looked for "students with rage disorders." I think specifically mention it being a disorder is important. Acknowledging its there, KLCK WAS trying to get help for an issue she had. They didn't talk to Jawbone about it, but did decide Jace must have given he went on that quest with TRG's. They further briefly talk about students getting randomly mad, and yes they specifically joked about Fabian shitting in class, but WE also remember the Soil club student getting so mad after having gotten that tainted soil. With the 30 Riz rolled, Jawbone's file ALSO specifically talks about Kipperlily loving her adventuring party. We know things weren't perfect, its obvious from when talking about their name change, but its still there and canon. Kipperlily loved her adventuring party. This is all just Kipperlily, mostly with our information from the first part of ep.16. It is not touching on the rest of the members, especially Ruben and his dreamscape we saw, or of his distinct 180 musical tastes POST Sophomore Year Spring Break. The implications of something happening to them during that time is pretty evident and acknowledged. So we're fans, watching a show, spending so much time thinking about not only our infamous protagonists, but also our villains. Many of us adults, getting older, thinking on the tragedy befalling kids and feeling empathy. So yeah. It's a disappointment over an unseen potential. Specifically tho? Its the potential we could have gotten on The Rat Grinder's thoughts and motivations that could have been revealed through dialogue. Dialogue that we got very little of in what could be considered a significant exchange of dialogue and not bits. I always have high narrative expectations from this show, due to its long standing history of SETTING those standards each and every season. This one episode just fell short emotionally while watching, comparatively.
AND THAT'S OK AND ABSOLUTELY NOT THE BAD KIDS/INTREPID HEROES FAULT
On the narrative side of things, The Bad Kids have had an incredibly stressful past 3 years. From day one, they have been involved in life or death stakes situations. It's always been do or die, and they've died, sometimes more than once. They've lost people and faced traumas that go often unaddressed. TBK's ENTIRE highschool experiences have been a revolving door of violence and unhinged situations. They've also always kinda been assholes, insular and more than a little mean especially to those pegged as enemies. We know them, know they have good hearts and intentions, and love and side with them constantly throughout because The Bad Kid's are our heroes. They are still teenage assholes sometimes, but that is something we love and forgive them for. The thing about this recent battle is that they are very used to the situation they are in by now. TBK's have to prioritize, move fast and hard, and get a job done so countless people don't die while something evil rises in their world. Emotions have been high for them all season, rage especially which is absolutely unsurprising on multiple fronts, and it's absolutely showing in what few dialogue exchanges we have. The Bad Kid's entered that gym for the singular purpose of stopping the situation, saving lives, and making sure something evil didn't arise to power in their fucked up world. Nothing new. They hid, already knowing where the final confrontation was going to be FORCED to happen in due to the nature of the ritual, and prepped. On point and smart of them. Then they entered the battlefield, very quickly getting to business. They know their skills, their friends and how to work together as a devastatingly effective team making heavy hits and masterfully controlling a battlefield despite the chaos. This is what The Bad Kid's Do. They got Ivy and Oisin out of combat as fast as possible, Oisin didn't even get a turn. They took out a high-damage long range attacker and the enemy wizard. They know how powerful and important Adaine is on the field, and they knew Oisin would have been the same. They crippled the enemy with the slow spell, effectively taking Mary Ann out of the running until it gets dispelled later on. Fig saw Ruben's high damage level 9 spell and dropped her ploy to get him out of combat as soon as she could. It was too dangerous to have him up, and while the hell bit was uncomfortable in the moment, it is absolutely on brand. This is what they have to do, if they want to stop Porter, who is our real main big-bad. Remove as many obstacles from the battle so more of them can focus on the fight that really matters.
This combat wasn't ever gonna go any other way, unless the dice gods decided otherwise.
This is what The Bad Kid's Do. In regards to the IH's, it is VERY important to acknowledge that while I've mentioned having high narrative expectations, this is still primarily an improve comedy show around a group of real people's DnD game. It's also a show they have a tight filming schedule for, with back to back days and long hours which we KNOW from the talk-backs leave them very tired. Like any tv show they also have a limit on how many episodes per season they can even produce. I think it was a real and genuine benefit to Sophomore year that they were doing it live, because it gave more time between sessions for the IH's to mull over information and whats been happening in-game. This is also a very well developed campaign world they haven't played in several years, which I certainly know would effect me in how I played. We still have one more episode, the Finale, and so much always happens there. I have incredible faith in Brennan as a DM and storyteller, for all that his players have a huge say in how any story he tells unfolds. There is a VERY real chance that what happens in the finale completely changes my mind on episode 19, and I will go back to rewatch with absolute glee because I know of the coming emotional catharsis in relation to The Rat Grinders. There is also a very real chance we don't get that in the way we want it, but that will be ok too. I will still love this season, rewatch it and laugh and have fun. The best part of having a fandom, is watching us take canon apart to fuel endless au's, fix-it's, character studies, ect. Taking crumbs and going wild with it is par the course, especially when something in a show has left us wanting in the moment of watching it. I think more than anything, I would be and am more upset from infighting and genuine anger directed to each other and especially towards our Intrepid Heroes. It is not wrong to be upset with an episode of a show, but it is to take those feelings out on others, be in in defense from Rat Grinder's fans or justification from Rat Grinder haters. So yes! I was disappointed with this particular episode emotionally. I still think it was funny, I think the combat was brilliant and fun to watch. I still love this show and this cast, and could never dream of being mad at them for how they played a game, and for the fun they were finding within the act of playing it as the well-known unhinged improv comedians we know and love.
I'm excited for next week, buuut I am absolutely consuming fan-content to help deal with my emotions, both the highs and lows.
#dimension 20#d20#fantasy high junior year#fantasy high#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#d20 spoilers#dimension 20 spoilers#anyway shoutout to all the inkblade shippers#we really out in our little corner going feral over crumbs and its so valid of us honestly#i love my little bitchy asshole of a lizard wizard#we really saw oisin be evil and went “actually redeemed villain draconic bf could be so interesting for the punchiest wizard girl we know”#explorations both of just a kinda evil guy you hate but is also kinda hot??#and “hey lets explore the concept of the nature of what it means to be of direct draconian heritage such as the concepts of hoards”#a dragons obsessive and possessive nature towards treasure vs. trying to just be a highschooler and function in society#especially if Oisin had a crush on Adaine for real at some point#but anyway until this i legit hadn't genuinely written ANYTHING for like 5 years?#the absolute most was some very recent dips into dcxdp crossover territory ALL of which was exclusively on tumblr#but i actually POSTED fanfiction on my ao3 for the first time in 5 years (2 inkblade onshots)#also in other news i started adderall for the first time starting 2 months ago so like#that's probably also a factor LOL
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Anyone give a shit about my Kirby-Steven Universe AU I developed for 3 seconds last year?
Broader Plot Synopsis:
Midnight Agate (Meta Knight) was a young quartz assigned to watch over the colonization efforts on Popstar with a small brigade of Rubies (The Meta-Knights). While waiting for things to truly get started, she let her sentimentality get the best of her and got to know the natives rather than killing them as were her orders. Seeing as it was a backwater planet and mission no one was watching carefully, she thought things would be fine.
While she was playing at being a knight for King Dedede (King Dedede) an undercooked Rose Quartz (Kirby) popped out, and caused some Kirby style antics for them (KDL, Adv, RoMK plots). Agate attempted to be subtle about what Quartzby's existence meant - not wanting to let on to her king friend she was an alien sent to blow up the planet - but in her continued waffling she began to watch the quartz take a liking to the planet just as she had, and started doubting the entire thing.
Eventually, after defusing the silly rivalry between her and Dedede, she began to work on deactivating gem structures (all those Ancient Artifacts we know in canon) and halting the colonization process, but accidentally alerted homeworld authorities whom then proceeded to send Halcan Quartz (Galacta Knight) when it was obvious things were a mess.
That's about as far as I got with solid ideas, but I have more fun disjointed ones. Like Midnight Agate falling in line with Halcan Quartz for a while out of pure fear and obedient instinct before eventually confronting her with the help of Quartzby and her rubies. And from there Halcan Quartz's own sentimentality gets tapped into for a redemption arc.
And from THERE the equivalent to the Diamonds in the would be Zero - a white Diamond I would suppose. I also had lots of fun ideas expanding on Agate and Halcan Quartz's connections to their planets (especially the latter to Halcandra CAUSE I LOVE HALCANDRA).
I really like how both Kirby and SU use their science-fantasy themes to tell stories about enjoying the little things and how you can kinda redeem almost anyone by tapping into that universal humanity. Or atleast I've always read the text of SU into the subtext of Kirby just cause the latter informed my media tastes so much.
I'd def fuck with this AU again if I have another SU phase. But I'm literally just talking about this cause I'm overwhelmed by how much Kirby stuff I have ideas for and needed to fart SOMETHNIG out.
#kirby#steven universe#kirby aus#steven universe aus#kirby gijinkas#galacta knight#meta knight#my kirby writing#hecking art#shut the heck up#obviously from my su phase last year where i made those banger posts that are still fucking getting note to this day hdgsjfksd#/not a flex because i kinda hate when old posts get a bunch of attention and newer ones dont idk#the replies on the one abt future genuinely warm my heart im happy people feel seen that deeply by the show n my defense of it touched them#if you think steven had soo much mental illness written into him wait until you seem my Galacta :]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]#and Meta!! oh you hated how much of a validation seeker pearl could be you cant evne fucking imagine#how is that related to canon meta knight? get ready for my analysis of his inferiority complexes motivating him to act stereotypically pure#-to the point where he instead comes off as a maniac lol#man i need to talk more about my kirby headcanon -_- chat doesnt even know
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i believe in that we shouldn't blindly trust other people's opinions when it comes to any kind of fictional work, especially if it's something easily accessible to you as the consumer
firsthand experience will always be better because then you can make your own judgement, whether what you're reading/watching/listening/playing truly fits your vibe or not
sometimes it's as easy as getting a glimpse and knowing it just doesn't vibe with you, or as difficult as watching a film and realizing in the middle of it that you just hate where the filmmaker is leading up to lol
#use other people's opinions as a jumping off point for you to discover further#you can listen to them but don't let their opinions be the only reason why you don't do something#so many media is easily accessible nowadays whether through legal or illegal(?) sources#as long as you know where to look for it#but yeah idk i just think it's kinda sad that so many of us are too dependent on opinions of strangers#to validate whether what we enjoyed is worth our time or not#when we shouldn't care too much about it#what's a waste of time for you might actually the thing that changed someone else's life#and vice versa#tmi tag
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ppl, especially low/no-empathy ppl, who talk to ableist anti-pd cluster b abuse believers with the upmost patience & understanding are so crazy (/pos) for that because what
how do y'all sit there and level w/ them just. so much.
i know it's kind of necessary bcs even if they don't listen to us anyways, they're only gonna think we're 10× worse if we don't walk them through the spiel w/ hands held (which we're not even owed to do anyways) but like i can hardly see myself doing it
so like
respect
#y'all should be honoured y'all got My respect specifically .... /silly#cluster b#tw ableism#npd#bpd#aspd#hpd#narcissistic personality disorder#borderline personality disorder#antisocial personality disorder#histrionic personality disorder#low empathy#no empathy#narc abuse#obligatory Is Not Real#maybe i could do it ?? i tried to level before when explaining it to ppl on a different app but even then i was still kinda pointed#but it'd be exhausting.#i'm gonna be honest i think most of these sorta posts or replies are mostly for Our community anyways since#i don't think i've Ever seen anyone change their stance on this no matter how it's conveyed#so i'm sure people go into these discussions knowing that too#i mean if anyone does have any examples feel free to tell. Curious#but yea i guess a lotta ableists have those same self-insulated type of beliefs as your average conspiracy#“anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong for x y & z reasons. if they say literally anything contrary to this they're trying to team up &#manipulate you. these people whom you have never interacted with in your life prior to this. they're in kahoots w ur abuser to validate the#abuse. just trust me on this bro“ type stuff#“don't trust pw/pds bcs they're pw/pds” circular reasoning#didn't mean to basically type something that could be a whole new post in the tags but like whatevs
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vent in tags
#so i posted earlier saying i wish i could ask people what makes me so dislikable#and i was referring to a situation which happened to me in the past#and how i wish i could say to these people like what about me is so dislikable that you had to react the way you did#(i would like to clarify i was not in the wrong in this situation i have asked multiple people#and they agree i wasnt in the wrong so im not just saying it)#and an anon decides to send me an ask saying#ngl its the desperation for validation but i think youre cool#and it made me so upset because its such a fucking back handed compliment#because like i am aware of the fact im a people pleaser and i want to be liked by people#like i know its a huge flaw and i am trying to do better and not worry about what other people think about me#but its not something that is going to happen overnight#and so to point that out when im already aware of it and then follow it up with a backhanded compliment#is honestly really hurtful and just kinda really upset me#also saying that i'm desperate for validation like is just so#idk it just was so unnecessary for them to say that and phrase it that way#anyway im sure no one is gonna read this and if they do it probably makes no sense or it just sounds like#im being a whiny bitch and probably more anons are gonna come call me attention seeking or#say im looking for validation#but i just wanted to rant about it bc like there's ways to say things nicely to people and that was not one of them#esp when its a flaw im already aware of and would like to work on more#but again its not gonna disappear overnight!#butter’s thoughts
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im so glad that i have done the work in solidifying the concept in my head that i write for me, for my joy, for my entertainment, for my pleasure, and that other peoples joy and pleasure is only a charming by-product of the work i do. because i was actually very proud of my last fic and watching it sit there with 2 hits for a week is testing even my strength lmaooo. this is what i get for writing for an unpopular f/f pairing.
#im not asking for validation or sympathy#this is more because i am a very big supporter of the 'write for you' campaign#and ive been practicing that for many years very successfully#but i think its worth pointing out that even someone as stubbornly self indulgent as me isnt immune to feeling a bit shitty#when people wont even click on a bit of writing you're really proud of#and i think its nice to be loud about struggling sometimes because i know some people also struggle with it and feel silly for that#besties one of my most popular fics is motorsports rpf piss kink okay? me and shame arent on speaking terms#but even i feel kinda embrassed about how personally i felt that hit when i saw that today#but in the words of the demon who haunts my ig feed: you need to step your pussys up
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ohhhh my fucking god nobody needs to like know any of this medical tmi but it is literally 11 pm and if im kept up one minute longer when i just laid down trying to go to sleep by my mother YELLING REPEATEDLY that she needs to pee. im going to actually go insane. she got a catheter in. Yesterday. it is working. she won't listen to anyone when they tell her that this is the case. help me jesus. im sure if a nurse comes to check on her tomorrow they'll probably get the same response. my brain will simply explode
#crow.txt#the absolute levels of stress im under could create diamonds out of free floating carbon atoms my fucking god#can i have. Literally just one day of peace. just one!! fuck!!!!#at least now i have SOME validation from everyone else of shit that mom has honestly kinda always done#be absolutely furious and bitchy usually for no good goddamn reason and then immediately turn it off to look good in front of someone else#i had a feeling mom coming home was gonna be utterly miserable sooner rather than later#i literally cannot leave my room without her yelling for dad bc she thinks im him i guess. she has gotten him up like 4 times now#what the fuck do you want any of us to doooooooooooo. according to dad shes also just been really fucking hateful today#including to her SISTER who has been facilitating literally everything medically for her for the last month plus#like on one hand i know its hard and frustrating etc etc absolutely. on the other. what the fuck are you yelling at any of us for!#whatd we do! not a damn thing for the most part! holy shit im exhausted#and then im sure she will have the audacity to wonder why i dont really want to interact with her much rn#its very apparent she doesnt really understand whats going on or how much of anything works at this point including hospice care#but i truly cannot help you when your knee jerk response is to yell and be abusive. like. dads not been great either#bc hes also one to bitch and moan and yell abt shit. but like. so is mom. more than usual#and ill actually be damned if i let her treat me like that honestly ever again. like idk for once i can just#walk away from this behavior with zero consequences. i dont have to take it anymore. im not free but at least im fuckin closer than i was#guess my aunt wasnt kidding when she said her being coherent and rational last week might be the calm before the storm
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i sort of thought Chilchuck's whole I cheated on her thing was actually that his wife cheated on him because he was away so much?. so it was a half truth. things fell apart because of cheating but he was willing to forgive her but she left anyway. what do you think?
It’s not that that couldn’t plausibly happen in their situation/relationship, but there’s nothing in canon that points towards that at all (especially the forgiveness bit which would mean they’ve talked about it and Chilchuck knows) so I really wouldn’t say it’s implied or likely. It’d be an interesting headcanon to explore in fanfics though~
#Ask#Would be an interesting reframing of why his mind went straight to cheating. Kinda revenge-y kinda validating bc everyone said that’s awful#But yeah Chilchuck doesn’t know/understand why she left at all that’s the main point in canon#And i don’t think it’d be cheating/wanting to be with another partner/guilt over cheating that made her leave#Chilchuck having no clue an affair is going on in his marriage rip#Spoilers#Chilchuck’s wife#Chilwife could def have plausibly suspected him of cheating sometimes#Tfw there are already tensions and the spark is fizzing out and you think your husband is emotionally distant and he’s away for work always
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Sometimes people will criticize a piece of media for things about it they don’t like and some bozo-on-the-internet’s advice will be “well if you expanded your horizons and interacted with media that fundamentally Does Not Interest you…”
#txt#saw someone in the dragon age tag saying that yeah dav’s writing may not be great compared to other things#but there’s other media out there that has what you want if you just take a look at games that are Completely Different In Every Way#I don’t know why it’s such a widely unaccepted idea that people have preferences pertaining to the genres they consume#like if I’m upset with a game that’s combat heavy and plays a specific way#why would the solution automatically become ‘look for a niche game made twenty years ago that has absolutely no combat’#<- an example to describe the larger point before it’s assumed that’s the only argument I’m making#like there are multiple genres of games for a reason and I’m not saying you can’t enjoy multiple types#but I AM saying that when someone has very valid criticisms of a game that could have been and should have been done better#it’s kinda dumb to assume all their issues with it can be solved just by looking elsewhere#YES there are other games we would enjoy of course there are#but this is the fourth game in a series and most of us are here because OF that series not because we’re out searching for any old game to#play like this is about being a long time fan for a lot of people#and even if it wasn’t#it’s not like I’m going to be looking for a game that plays like dragon age#be unsatisfied with it in general#and then go looking for…say a puzzle game in a niche cartoon style with no combat…#that arguably has a story that’s much better than dav#because just because the story has what I’m looking for doesn’t mean I’ll be satisfied with an experience so divorced from the one I was#looking forward to in the first place that ultimately let me down#a thousand tags because my thoughts got away from me as per usual#rant tag
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I was trying to figure out ideas for a zine (I guess me, CL, P2, and Wolf make them now?) but, uh, just kinda ended up drawing myself... whoops.
#other post#-ct#tailstrokes#i guess?#no i'm not a parker haha#i feel like my style differs a tiny bit from wolf which is... sort od validating in a way?#you know one of the kids called#god i almost said 'us'#i'm NOT a white collar anymore#i mean i kept the work clothes but that's cause i think they're kinda hot#but anyway the kid called them (fuck i wrote us there instinctively) scientists first and the others nearly agreed to use that for them#that'd have been weird#they (...we?) are definitely NOT scientists#not we im not that anymore! fuck!#THE POINT is that im not sure theres really anything that encompasses what i used to do#maybe observer watcher witness#anyway it doesnt matter now#god i really feel i was there decades ago its what i said to wolf when they first made contact and asked but#if you asked me for memories for a feeling of connection to specific things to describe i couldnt i cant#i just feel like i was there and i was ... doing my former job#other people here got to be the ones in things good and bad and evil alike#me and the rest we didnt#we just did our jobs#we werent people#or like cl said didnt know we were/are#im making myself sad#going to shut up now
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Had an ADHD assessment a few years ago and the fuckwit that assessed me said, as a direct quote, "You're too smart to have ADHD." Like that's not any type of paraphrasing, that stupid fucking statement is burned in my brain forever and has been since I heard it.
I talked to my psychiatrist about getting a referral to a different psychologist for assessment, and she agreed and sent it in.
Today I got a call that said they don't agree that I need reassessment, and I'm welcome to pursue it elsewhere, but they won't provide reassessment. Which is just.
I don't even know where to start with that one. I just needed to get it out. I'm so tired.
#'we really dont think youre adhd so were not even going to let you pay to check again'#WHAT#thats an option?#they can just say that they really dont think its a problem for me so they wont waste their time?#the first fuckwit that assessed me said im too fucking smart to have adhd!!#thats not a fucking compliment and every professional ive spoken to since then has said 'yesh thats not right tey for reassessment'#i just had to write this down because#this morning i was showering before work and they called me and left a message#so i checked the message right before work cuz i saw it was them and i assumed they wanted to set up the reassessment#because i got a referral. but theur message literally just said that bullshit#and because it was right before work i had to pack that away#because trying to deal with that in addition to a shift at fucking mcdonalds wouldve killed me#but because i set it aside i just keep forgetting about it. so i needed to write this down to remind myself#that this is my life and this is the bullshit i get to deal with in this life#im so tired. i dont even know what to say here. what to think or anything#'youre too smart to have adhd. we're so sure of that that we're not gonna check again. waste someone else's time. bye!'#i wish the world worked the way healthcare 'professionals' think it works#what a beautiful world it would be. you could lose weight just by trying and when you lose weight all of your health problems disappear!#you cant have any mental health problems if you are smart or seem kinda normal or are a woman#i am resisting the urge to. i don't even know. i want to do something angry and destructive but i don't even care#at least now i dont have to drive two hours and pay $160 just to be told that i am too smart to have problems#and actually all of my problems are due to my anxiety and the fact that im female#god i wish that was the case. ill go on t if it makes my problems valid. would you like that?#what do i have to do to convince people i have problems? i will fully physically transition to be taken more seriously#would that help?? would that fucking help???????????????#anyway. i was about to say i wish i wasnt mentally ill. but i dont#being mentally ill is chill. its like a roommate that lives up there and weve lived together awhile so its chill#the only problem are the idiots they pay to deal with mental illness. at this point i dont think they have qualifications#theyre just bringing in men off the street. and theyre the real problem. goodnight folks#dont have the audacity to be mentally ill in this economy. its not worth it
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Sorry~
I feel like I've been doing a lot of b*tching and moaning lately, which aren't really the vibes I wanna be putting out (at least not without balancing it out with stuff I'm actually happy about).
So here are a couple of things that are kinda cool for me~
I recently had to get a new phone because my old one was very close to exploding (the battery was swelling). I don't really bother with top end models because I hardly use my phone except for texts and calls and looking up coupons when I'm shopping. But even nowadays, a relatively cheap phone has so many new features~
I won't use most of them, but it's cool that they're there, and I always have fun setting up new tech with all my customizations~ (Even though I don't use it much, I still want it to be cute!) I'm mostly just happy that the camera is an upgrade, so my photos won't be as shitty.


(New | Old)
Well, a better camera isn't gonna do anything for my lack of photography knowledge, but at least the pictures are a little clearer (The color balancing is still off, but I'll figure it out eventually.)
Also, kinda excited about a newish OC that I thought of.
Right now I'm calling them "Mascot Businessman" or "Yuru" (named after "Yuru-Chara") but the details aren't finalized. I don't like any of these mask designs yet, but I think the title is more or less self-explanatory: it's a businessman that wears a mascot head everywhere he goes. At first, it was just gonna be the one head, but I like the idea that they have different ones for different moods.
It's a simple idea, but somehow I'm actually pretty excited to work on them, which I haven't felt since I made Kun3h0~
I'm torn between leaving them as an actual mascot type character - they only exists for single pieces of art - or if I want to actually develop their story, because I do have an idea for them being paired with a coworker that's constantly trying to catch them with the mask off even though no one else in their workplace seems to acknowledge it. It's really about boundaries and accepting the strangeness of other people to live a happier life, but I dunno if I wanna go that deep with it.
I called them "newish" earlier because strictly speaking, this is a theme that's appeared in my work before.
A LONG time ago, I think even before DSYNC was conceptualized, I had an idea for a rogue abandoned 1010 that wore a mascot head because he lost his old one. Anyway, I'm pretty sure that that idea was what eventually turned into DSYNC B-Side.
There's also The Prince Formerly Known as Frog, who also has a big mascot head, but the execution for him is kinda different (he's supposed to be a guy stuck midway in a mascot costume and his original clothes because his curse was only half broken). And I don't draw him that much anyway~
So I consider Yuru to be an evolution of those ideas.
Hopefully I'll have some finished art of him soon after I figure out how I want all their heads to look~ (Because otherwise it really is just someone in a business suit.)
#tbf it's not like what i'm complaining about is nothing#i think heartbreak and dunking on tumblr's shitty UI are valid talking points#but i know that kinda thing can be tiring#i stopped looking at my dashboard as frequently as i used to because it got so tiring for me#i think there's a limit to escapism#you can't function in this world by shutting everything out#but my dashboard was just a source of misery for a long time (and kinda still is) and i don't wanna add onto that#more than I need to
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