#a nerd with magic powers

[neon-danger]

my baldurs gate hyperfixation is getting bad enough that I’m thinking about bard!alex and rogue!jack on an illithid adventure

[mo-mo-ru-art]

Uhmmmmmmmmm does someone feels called out?

[cherubscherry]

Jayvik nation I need opinions for my most beloved and babygirl AU I am cursed with visions of.... The Hex-Files AU.

I'm plagued by it constantly I mean LISTEN LISTEN, it's perfect!!! Jayce "Spooky" Talis, laughing stock of the FBI for his eccentric and esoteric interests!! Left down in the basement with a bunch of unsolvable cases that he lovingly keeps trying to solve case he KNOWS that shit is Magic/Paranormal!! He's completely OBSESSED, and also has not a lot of people skills given, well, his obsession.

Viktor having annoyed enough higher ups with his desire to actually be in the field for FBI work and the higher ups condescendingly taking one look at his leg and cane then going "No <3" before sending him down to the Hex-Files unit to "reign in" their little """rouge""" agent. Thinking so smugly they are 2 birds 1 stoning it. He's sooooo mad, he's smart, and capable, and if SOMEONE would just let him actually HELP PEOPLE he'd be SO GOOD AT IT Actually, OBVIOUSLY. The hubris <3.

Mulder and Scully's first meeting IS so Jayvik coded I'm right and I will NOT accept criticism.

Their first meeting starting off on the wrong foot??? With Jayce on the defensive but when they both are like, genuinely invested in their unit Actually??? Whoops wrong move Head Office these two are Insufferable now actually and will enable each others most Unhinged tendencies. In 1 case (more like in just their first meeting) they became ride or die and joined at the hip. I love them, they are haunting my dreams.

Also the name Hex Files??? It's perfect!!! Don't trust your government (Council)??? It was meant to be!!! It's doomed me in the narrative!!! Now I have to like.... plan stuff and figure out long term story lines, I'm ruined!!! I'm in shambles!!! I'm overcome with love and excitement!!! My head is in my hands I am sick!!!

[ananke-xiii]

Rowena and the thick, bloody umbilical cord between choices and faults.

In a previous post of mine I’ve explored a little bit how Mary and Kelly represent a sort of “missed opportunity” for, respectively, Sam and Jack.

At the beginning of s13 Sam resents the fact that he hasn’t been proactive in seeking to create a relationship with his mother and now that she’s (presumably) gone he doesn’t want to deal with that reality. He had wasted his second chance. Jack, on the other hand, never even had a first opportunity to begin with but, unlike Sam, has experienced a sense of unity with his mother so extreme that one of the first things that he tells Sam is that he was his mother(!!!).

S13 reinforces the Mother-Son symbolism because, after Jack’s birth, a rift is opened in space (apparently not in time?): Kelly stays (dead, rip girl I love you) on one side of it while Mary crosses it and finds herself in Apocalypse World. To make things even more clear, this is no random parallel universe: this is the alternate reality where Mary didn’t deal with Azazel. So mothers and their choices/faults are a central theme in this season. Or, well, more or less.

To complete the mothers’ trimurti or, better, tridevi we’re missing the final mother, the destroyer who is, of course, Rowena. It’s therefore quite apt that Rowena reaches her highest potential this season and even confronts Death. What motivates her in an interesting blend of (missing)love and (lacking)power. Lucifer is as part of her story as Kelly’s and Mary’s. Unlike these two, though, she doesn’t have a son who resurrects her, nor a turned-benefactor cosmic being who offers her resurrection as a gift to her son. Rowena has to resurrect herself. Not once but twice. She is, perhaps, the loneliest character in the whole series.

This is actually quite ironic because, if we look back on previous seasons, her “choice” to kill Oskar, her putative son, was what triggered the whole chain of events (the freeing of Amara first and Lucifer second) that directly link Rowena with Mary and Kelly.

It’s only natural, then, that s13 Rowena keeps representing the reversal of the Mary and Sam/ Kelly and Jack relationships because there is no son who’s looking for her, rather she is the mother who’s looking for her (dead) child. Like Sam, she also needs someone who can access another dimension to bring Crowley back but, unlike him, she’s not successful. Now, ngl, this pisses me off to no end, like of course I can understand the real reasons why Crowley couldn’t be brought back, still I kinda hate how it was narratively framed.

When, in "Funeralia", Rowena says that life is unfair she is right but not in the general, pessimistic sense of the phrase: she's right because in-universe some deaths are more important than others and people get back on board depending on whether or not they're still a role to play for them. Rowena's faith in magic is actually justified because magic is the only thing that can help her. And the tragic thing is that it's also what damns her in the process because it's the only form of power she can have access to. There are no angels or cosmic entities looking out for her. She's just... alone.

So, perhaps, it's not that I necessarily hate how her failure to bring Crowley back is described, I just see it as further proof that Rowena is the best example to show how in Supernatural the game is rigged from the beginning and we didn’t even need an interfering and pervy God to realize it. That's all we've been seeing it since S1. All those infinite, booooring talks about being good/evil or doing good/bad actually mean nothing because, at the end of the day, in this show what really matters is how useful you can be, to whom and why (and this is way less booooring, you learn a lot of interesting things about these characters if you go down this road, it's grim but it's more rewarding).

S13 is also when the final connection between Rowena and the Winchesters, Sam to be more precise, is established which is indicative of the fact that she will inevitably die. Before S13 her story was her own, after “Funeralia” it cannot be extricated from Sam’s. To some degree, it’s quite similar to what happened with Crowley and Dean. What’s more, just like Crowley’s powers and shrewdness are what really carry the plot from s6 to s12, magic and spells (and therefore Rowena’s role in the story) will be the key for many plot points from s13 to s15. But there is a big difference.

Both Crowley and Rowena’s sacrifices are described as heroic but, let’s be honest, only Rowena’s was. Crowley’s demise was a clean-up after his own mess at best. It also proved to be unnecessary. Rowena and that awful MBOL’s egg thingy would have managed to confine Lucifer, like, they actually did it. It was Crowley who perverted the spell for reasons that I personally find OOC. I would’ve liked the Crowley vs Lucifer power struggle but not the way it was done in s12 because it felt very nonsensical to me. As in: I can see you need a reason to keep Lucifer around and this is what you’ve come up with but it’s still quite illogical.

At its hidden and secret core S13 is the season of the “let’s reframe the sons’ stories and blame it on the mothers”. Just like Kelly is blamed for Castiel’s ideal vision of Jack and Mary’s "choice" is established as the most important point in the whole show, Rowena-as-Mother must face the same fate: it was her fault if Crowley, Fergus!, ended the way he ended. It’s a naaaaaaaaaaaaaah for me.

This is what we’re told in “Funeralia”:

Rowena: Oh, but it is. Death has something I want. Sam: What’s that? Rowena: My son. After you told me he was gone, how he died, I had an unexpected reaction. We had our differences, but it’s my fault he went down the path he did. I left him. Dean: We’re talking about Crowley-- demon, King of Hell? Rowena: We’re talking about Fergus-- a man abandoned and loveless, tricked by a demon, died in a gutter. He deserved better from the world. From me.

Now, just to be clear: yes, Rowena had the responsibility to do better; yes, she was the absolute worst; yes, she played no small role in her son’s story. However, I personally don’t like all these negative associations between “worlds” and “mothers” as if every fucking thing in the universe is dependent solely on them. How did we end up here? It’s almost as if absent fathers are, like, not THAT bad after all (and the show, as far as I'm concerned, ultimately approves of and absolves absent fathers). So I’m very suspicious of the way motherhood is portrayed specifically in s13 and Rowena’s attempt at redemption well demonstrates that there is reason to be so.

This dialogue in “Funeralia” confirms my gut feeling:

Sam: You know, what happened with Crowley? That wasn’t your fault. Rowena: He never had a chance. Dean: He made his choices, just like we all do. Look, every one of us has done something that we have to live with, that were trying to make up for. Every one of us. Sam: Even without all that extra juice, you’re still the deadliest witch around [Sam's flattering Rowena. He's gonna ask for her help in 3,2,1...]. Rowena: Flatterer. Sam: Yeah, well, we, um... we may need your help [Here we go!]. To save our family. To… hell, to save the world. Dean: You wanna be redeemed? This would be a pretty big step. Rowena: And do you think I still can be? Dean: Yeah, I do.

I mean, not to be rude, but who the fuck cares if Dean Winchester thinks that Rowena can be redeemed? Like, how is Rowena’s redemption (which is strictly connected to her being a bad mother and not, among other things, a zero-regret murderer, which she also happens to be, for instance) connected to saving the Winchester’s family? Don’t get me wrong, I understand that this is SPN and that Sam and Dean’s problems are Apocalypse-level problems (lol, they really did that, when I say that their story is like a cosmogony maybe I’m not that wrong) but, as I’ve said, I cannot help but notice the similarities between Rowena’s arc this season with Mary’s and Jack’s, i.e. you can be redeemed if you either do something useful for the Winchesters or... realize that it's not your "fault" that your sons suffered terribily because "choosing" to deal with Azazel was actually the right choice... for the world. How come fathers saving the world are framed as heroic while mothers actively creating worlds by making hard choices that benefit the greater good need redemption?

So to sum up: while fathers invade S13’s main storyline as solvers, restorers and fixers, mothers are the bones of the story, they carry its weight and its sins but get little if nothing in return: Kelly stays dead, Mary ends up helping out a world that absolves her of her Original Sin but that’s nevertheless a mess (you can never win lol) and Rowena can’t get her son back (but she can save Sam and Dean's family the world!). Looks good, right? Hurray mommy!

[vaguely-concerned]

rye during the taash & davrin workout scene is sooo 'I came here to eat near-inedibly dark chocolate and gently bully davrin, and I'm all out of chocolate' coded and it's wonderful. I love all three of them so much. I love that davrin approves if you tell taash 'you gonna let davrin beat you???' (and taash' satisfied 'davrin DIDN'T beat me }:)' afterwards). I love that rye tries to neg davrin about the pull ups and taash immediately but not uncompanionably um actually --s him. their mother's child truly in ways they don't seem to realize lol. young master ingellvar I believe that as a consequence of your own hubris you have been -- what is the teminology... owned. (rye has not done a deliberate pull up OR chin up in his LIFE, btw, his muscle is all built up through fighting practice/forms and advanced necropolis parkour between ruined buildings from a young age. he probably has something between like a climber's build and a dancer's. all those watcher 'back straight' reminders over the years. and all it cost was a few very deep neuroses taking root in him forever! a bargain I'm sure) the fact that taash identifies griffon babies in danger as the most urgently motivating image for davrin and seems to be correct about it. I hope manfred and assan are out there getting up to Shenanigans while briefly unsupervised. peace and love in taash' improvised gym this fine day

[littlecakeclub]

Magus of the Library — a love letter to books

I didn’t expect this series to move me so deeply. I picked it up for the art and yes, the first volume is visually breathtaking, with rich textures, detailed panels, and a cozy, magical atmosphere. But it’s the heart of the story that kept me hooked.

Shio (or Theo in the English version) isn’t a prodigy. He’s soft, curious, bookish and he has to fight for his place in a world that doesn’t make it easy for kids like him. That alone makes the story feel so grounded and emotionally real, especially if you’ve ever tried to find your voice in a system that wasn’t built for you.

And the worldbuilding? Incredible. Mitsu Izumi has imagined a rich, complex universe with original races, diverse religions, languages, and cultures. I especially appreciate that the inspiration here draws mainly from East Asian, South Asian, and Middle Eastern traditions. Manga and manhwa are too often fixated on European aesthetics, so it’s refreshing to see something different for once.

I also loved how the manga explores different aspects of books, from ancient scripts to paper-making, bookbinding, and the architecture of libraries. It’s clear the mangaka has poured a lot of care into every detail. You can feel the deep respect for books, not just as objects, but as vessels of power, culture, and memory.

Mitsu Izumi has also created an incredible cast of characters, and I truly love how she takes her time to develop them slowly and thoughtfully. It’s not just the main characters, everyone around them feels genuinely interesting and well-written. Plus, there’s very little fan service in this seinen, which I really appreciate.

What really struck me was how the story weaves in themes like discrimination, access to knowledge, and cultural hierarchies without ever being preachy. I am curious to see how these themes will continue to develop in further volumes.

If you love magic, fantasy with incredible worldbuilding, and stories that treat libraries like temples, this manga is a hidden gem. The release pace is slow, but honestly? Every page feels handcrafted and worth the wait.

Please show this manga some love, I am so scared it will get canceled !

[bigdreamsandwildthings]

October book stack 📚

[monster-noises]

Like.. genuinely, very genuinely.

Where and how to do hunt down events in your city? Like places and groups and activities where people who like the same things as you gather and hang out and do social stuff?

Cause I do follow like.. local game stores, comic shops, book shops, galleries/art programs, concert halls, the 1 gay bar in town, queer group pages, the library, and at least one local zine making group whose events never line up with my schedule except the 1 time it did and i went and it was very awkward for me so idk how good that one would pan out if I kept tryingggg-

And while a lot of these places host events semi-regularly the year a lot don't appeal or apply to me so I'm just at a Bit of a Loss for where to find events where I may connect with other people..

So like if ya'll know of some secret search term of webbed site or what have you IIIIII'm open to suggestions!

(and lets just completely ignore the fact that they're all going to be scheduled during my working hours anyway and I won't be able to go, I'll breakdown about that one later. I need to delude myself at least a little bit or else I'll Implode)

[dragonlordofmiddleearth]

Girl what did Arthur do in the legends

He got Morgana pregnant with baby Mordred

[saoirsegraves]

New little post up on the blog... A gnosis-poem with a hint of music.

[girl4music]

“No one is birthed into the world complete and we don’t cross a line somewhere in our 20’s to find that we’ve arrived at adult. We shape ourselves into the people we are by making choices or circumstances will do the shaping for us. Which brings us to Willow…

This episode is a significant one for the Rosenberg and I realized watching it that I’ve suffered something of a Mandela Effect when it comes to her. Specifically I’ve been misremembering the very first episode where Willow’s eyes turn black upon casting a spell. In ‘Becoming Part I’ after Giles tells Willow that casting a soul restoration spell might open a door she’d be unable to close. She insisted. But his warning implies that casting magic potentially leaves an indelible mark on the caster and while being watched by Cordy and Oz something channelled through her and I was sure that she looked up, looked forward and had black eyes during the remainder of the spell - but no. Still, the door was open, and in Willow’s case what that has meant so far is magic becoming her number one coping mechanism. Magic has been a metaphor for a few things, but one of it’s analogues set up early on by Giles’ abuse of it to get high in ‘The Dark Age’, was drugs. A metaphorical connection between magic and alcohol was made in ‘Something Blue’ when Willow first tried to deal with her grief over Oz by way of a sick bud-light dance party. She has resorted to magic to cope with her lust, to cope with her anger, to cope with her grief,… and in ‘Tough Love’, her rage.

Historically there has usually been a scene afterwards where she suffers guilt for the spell’s misfire and bakes a round of apology cookies, but the episode always stops just short of her learning the actual lesson. Her regret is never specifically for the use of magic to solve her problem, but for the fact that she wasn’t capable enough to pull the spell off the way she wanted to and everyone tends to let it slide. On to the next episode. Heck, Buffy said more to Jonathan in ‘Superstar’ than she has ever said to Willow… because Willow is just… in pain, angry, lonely, lost. That’s all. It’s a familiar pattern with abuse-based coping mechanisms given there always tends to be a lot going on for that person. Big things that their friends and family members see as what actually drove their loved ones to this and that big thing feels more important right now than confronting their loved one about their little problem. Now is not the time, now is never the time and then time slips past.

But Willow has continued to become more powerful with every passing season and in ‘Tough Love’ her breaking into the Magic Box and channelling actual black magic I think represents a turning point. This is the first time her eyes actually turn black and if every spell leaves an indelible mark upon the caster, there is something in her now that she will always have to carry. But in keeping with Willow learning the wrong lesson or none whatsoever, the final scene in the episode follows the pattern we’ve seen to this point. Scoobies feeling bad for what Willow must be going through, conversations about consequences not being had and Willow feeling defeated and depressed. If the pattern fits not just because of Tara’s state, but because Willow wasn’t strong enough to wield the necessary power to properly take her revenge. Wasn’t strong enough,.. yet.”

Once again, nice job, Ian. Hit some points that I’ve never really thought about myself as you often do.

About your comment on the final scene of the episode being confusing because of the location they’re in.

Tara has not officially moved in with Willow. Yes, she stays in Willow’s room more often than not (hence the double bed replacing the two singles since ‘The Replacement’) and because of the traumatic events of ‘Family’ where her abusive dad just let himself in when it was unlocked, making it unsafe for Tara to be there alone, but they don’t officially live together. Willow still has her dorm room and Tara still has hers. So the room you see them in at the end of the episode is Tara’s dorm room, not Willow’s or Buffy’s.

[maybeishouldtouchgrass]

We love a strong girlie that just wants to live a simple life 💙💜💚

[shkspr]

when giles and anya and willow are discussing magic stuff and its like. giles has actual formal training in supernatural and occult matters and anya has a millennium of being a demon and living in the world and willow keeps up with them bc witchcraft is her special interest

[marypsue]

Yanno what, I like high fantasy just fine, but the older I get and the more I read, the more I'm starting to think I like high fantasy better when it's in-universe fantasy fiction for a different story instead of like. Me, directly reading/watching/etc it.

[mex-sickos]

I’m gonna say it, I want more writers to handwave more shit by just saying “magic l0l” and I’m not kidding

Fuck explaining shit get chicken raincoated IDIOT

[bigdreamsandwildthings]

A few fun book hauls in the last week 🙊