#access router settings

[devicessetup]

The Truth About 192.168.10.1 Login.

[ssruis]

Going through a straight up comical amount of irritating situations to get the stupid 4* guaranteed ticket from the welcome to sekai campaign. It Will Be Mine.

[jj-one]

EPISODE 1: HELP! MY HOT GIRLFRIEND CAUGHT ME CRYING AFTER GIVING HEAD! (NOT CLICKBAIT)

this is smut, do not interact if under 18

jisung thought tutoring the hottest girl on campus would ruin his GPA— not his pants. one month later, he’s somehow getting called ‘pretty’ mid-thrust and offering you pocky as a post-orgasm snack.

pairing: nerd!han jisung x popular!f!reader, established relationship genre/tags: college au, smut, fluff, jisung is a loser with a capital L, humor sprinkled in bc i’m unserious asf, lots of references to anime and other dumb stuff, lowkey perv!jisung, dry humping, oral (f. receiving), piv, protected s*x, kinda subby!jisung but he’s still a whore lol words: 5.4k (wasn’t expecting it to be this long… guess i yap too much)

[ note. ] — i had to make another nerd!ji fic bc i literally cannot stop thinking about him 😣 feel free to read my other fic for more context since it’s set in the same universe but i wanted to make a smut ver so here we areeee <33 also, i will be making more parts eventually, hence why it’s labeled as ‘episode 1’ so stay tuned for more !

cross posted to AO3

Jisung thought for sure that was going to die a virgin. Not in a sad, self-loathing kind of way, but more in a “yeah, that checks out,” kind of way. The type of peaceful resignation one might have while unplugging a broken router for the eighth time before crying into a bowl of instant ramen. Because guys like him— guys who quoted Dragon Ball Z unironically, who panicked when girls sat next to them in lecture halls, who built custom keyboards for fun and screamed at League. They didn’t date girls like you.

And they most definitely didn’t sleep with girls like you.

Still, that didn’t keep him from fantasizing. Constantly, shamelessly, unhingedly.

He’d never known what it felt like to have warm walls wrapped around his cock. Never heard those broken whines girls in hentai would make— unless he counted the ones he accidentally let out when he edged himself too long. His hand was simply never enough, no matter how many times he convinced himself he could “recreate the pressure.”

The bottle of lotion and box of tissues on his nightstand weren’t even hidden anymore— they sat like holy relics beside his gaming PC, ready for immediate access the second he closed League and opened incognito mode.

Porn never fully satisfied his craving though, he always wanted more. Even the best JAV compilation or doujinshi fan dub couldn’t compare to the real sickness consuming his brain: you.

You, with the glossy Instagram that he scrolled through like it was the damn Louvre. You, wearing micro bikinis in pool selfies with captions like ‘hot girl summer’ while he rots in bed, sweating and crying at the curvature of your ass.

You, biting your glittery, gel pen in class, leaning across the desk to ask for help, accidentally flashing a glimpse of cleavage so dangerous it made him pause mid-equation like he got hit with a stun grenade. Stalking your Instagram, seeing you in the tiniest baby tees and mini skirts. It was the perfect gooner material.

He’d stroke himself under the covers while biting a t-shirt to keep quiet, muttering your name between gasps like he was summoning a spirit. Fantasies playing out in his head that ranged from soft and romantic— like kissing you breathless during office hours— to completely feral, like bending you over his anime pillow while you called him “pretty boy” and ruined his life.

It didn’t help that you flirted with him now.

That you asked him to tutor you.

That you sat so close during study sessions he could sense your perfume from a mile away and taste the salt from the fries you always stole off his plate.

You laughed at his jokes, called him cute, even once said he had “nice hands,” and he nearly evaporated on the spot. Had to excuse himself to the bathroom with a boner and a prayer.

Every night ended the same. Him, fisting his cock in pathetic desperation at the thought of your pussy swallowing him whole, whispering ‘please’ like a man on the verge of religious enlightenment.

And every night, after he came all over his own stomach, out of breath and guilt-ridden, he’d sigh dramatically and say,

“I’m going to die alone. I know it. I’ll be the guy with the Zero Two body pillow and the unopened condom pack from 2017 that he keeps in case of a miracle.”

He did not, under any circumstances, expect you to be that miracle.

Never in a million years did he think he’d actually have a chance, let alone be dating you. You were just too perfect. The literal girl of his dreams.

Popular. Gorgeous. Cool in the kind of way that made any and everyone want to be around you without knowing why. You had that magnetic charm about you, an easily contagious laugh, a confident stride when you walk, and that dangerous habit of licking your lip gloss mid-sentence like you were in a CW drama.

And yet, somehow, here he was, currently horizontal on his bed, shirtless, breathless, with you on top of him wearing his oversized Bleach t-shirt and not much else, grinning like you’d just won first place in a science fair and a dance battle.

“Are you glitching?” You asked, poking his cheek. “Do I need to unplug you and plug you back in?”

“I- uh- w-what? No- yes? No.” He stuttered like every word had just magically left his vocabulary, he was definitely malfunctioning.

You laughed, head dropping onto his bare chest as he laid stiff as a board, arms hovering midair like he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to touch you even now. Even after dating you for a whole month.

“A month,” he whispered, still stunned by the timeline. “That’s like… thirty days of you voluntarily being seen with me.”

“Thirty one,” you corrected, lifting your head to smirk down at him. “Don’t forget the bonus day where you kissed me in front of the vending machine and the entire basketball team clapped.”

“I thought I was going to throw up.”

“You looked like you did throw up.”

Jisung covered his face with both hands and groaned.

God, he still didn’t know how this happened. When you had asked him to tutor you in stats, he assumed you were just kidding— or high. But you weren’t. You’d actually shown up. You’d flirted, sat on his lap one time when all the seats were taken at the library, and then acted like it was no big deal while his soul left his body.

And now here you were. Straddling him. Teasing him. Literally wearing his t-shirt with the anime print on it and calling him “baby” in the kind of voice that should be illegal.

“You’re so tense, Sungie,” you murmur, lightly dragging your fingers down his chest. “I know you like it when I touch you. You make these cute little gasps like a baby bird.”

“I-I don’t sound like a baby bird,” he mumbled, absolutely sounding like a baby bird.

You leaned down, lips brushing the shell of his ear.

“Chirp.”

Jisung squeaked.

You lost it, giggling into his neck while he covered his blushy face with a pillow. “Oh my god, stopp- why are you like this- why did you choose me,”

“Because you’re smart, and sweet, and you get all flustered when I call you hot. And because,” you sat up again, hips rolling ever so slightly and watching his pupils blow wide as you rocked against his clothed erect, “you say things like ‘This is just like my fanfic’ under your breath and then deny it.”

He groaned at the sudden friction, arms falling limp at his sides. “You heard that?”

“Babe, I hear everything. Like right now, I can hear how bad you want me to ride you.” You bit your lip, feeling your wetness growing at a rapid pace as you continuously grind on him.

Jisung whimpered. “Okay. I- this is really happening, right? This isn’t like, some kind of VR dream or like a… cursed hentai plotline where I wake up and you’re actually a sentient toaster?”

You blinked. “What the hell kind of anime are you watching?”

He slapped a hand over his eyes. “Nevermind, pretend I didn’t say that..”

You kissed him then. Slowly. Tenderly. Like you had all the time in the world and like you couldn’t believe your luck either. Because yeah, you were the cool girl, but Jisung was the first guy who actually listened when you talked. Who remembered your favorite boba order. Who’d stayed up until 3 am tutoring you and still walked you to your dorm with sleepy, nerdy affection twinkling in his eyes.

So yeah, you were gonna roast him forever— but you were also gonna ruin him tonight.

“Hey, baby,” you whispered, reaching down to tug his sweatpants lower.

Jisung was in the midst of catching his breath like he’d just run a marathon. “Y-yeah?”

“After I make you cum, will you tell me all about the sentient toaster anime?”

“…Maybe.”

+

“Okay,” Jisung panted, curling into your side like a baby koala clinging to its mother, “that was better than every hentai I’ve ever seen.”

You snorted into his shoulder. “High praise coming from the man who owns a $300 body pillow.”

“She was limited edition!” He quickly defends himself.

You playfully roll your eyes, kissing his flushed cheek. “So are you, Sungie. So are you.”

And yeah, Jisung still thought he was going to die a virgin once upon a time.

But now, wrapped in your arms with kiss marks littering his neck and your laughter still echoing in his ears— he was just really, really glad that he’s been proven wrong.

+

The moment you straddled Jisung and kissed him again, something shifted in the room.

And not just him having an outer-body experience for the sixth time in an hour.

You pulled back from his lips to look around, and the first thing you said was, “Okay, I have to say it- your room is the most aggressively virgin-coded space I’ve ever been in.”

“I told you not to look too closely!” He whined, burying his face into your neck as you giggled and craned to inspect the chaos surrounding you.

“Let’s see…” you started ticking things off on your imaginary list. “Anime wall scrolls? Check. Neon RGB light strips that make your room look like a gaming dungeon? Check. Is that Hatsune Miku in a glass case next to middle school spelling bee trophies?”

He groaned. “They’re collector’s items—”

“You were runner-up in 8th grade and you framed it.”

“I peaked early, okay?!”

You laughed so hard you fell forward onto his chest. “I love you.”

He froze. “Wh-what?”

You blinked. “I said I love you.”

He looked like you’d just offered him a lifetime supply of ramen and also stabbed him in the heart.

“…I love you too,” he whispered, barely getting it out before he hid under the covers.

You tugged the blanket back down just enough to see his red face. “Hey. Don’t hide. I wanna see you. Look so pretty when you blush.”

“PRETTY?!” He yelped.

You nodded in confirmation, brushing hair off his forehead. “Mmhm. Prettiest boy I’ve ever seen. Especially like this- messy hair, pink cheeks, all breathless under me…”

He made the most broken noise you’d ever heard.

His hands gripped your hips like he didn’t know what to do with them, like he was trying not to crush you or himself with how desperate he felt. His eyes were dark now, glazed and locked onto your every move as you slowly ground against the bulge in his sweats.

“This is real, right?” He meant to ask that in his head but blurted it out instead, voice slightly cracking. “This is really happening?”

You kissed the corner of his mouth. “Feels pretty real to me, baby.”

At this point Jisung was spiraling.

Not just emotionally. No, that happened daily.

This was a full-system shutdown.

You’d tugged your shirt off without warning and smiled down at him like it was the most casual thing in the world, and now his hands were hovering awkwardly mid-air like he wasn’t sure if he had permission to touch you or if he was being Punk’d by the gods of horny delusion.

Your skin. Your smile. Your fucking tits.

And worse— worse— as your fingers brushed through his messy brown locks and your thighs shifted over his hips, his brain suddenly screamed,

‘I can’t believe I’m about to get pussy before Jeongin.’

Jeongin, his slightly cooler, slightly taller, still-a-virgin roommate who had three rotating Discord kittens and a suspicious amount of cologne but somehow still never scored.

Jeongin, who walked around shirtless after push-up sessions and said things like “it’s not rizz, it’s charisma” unironically. Jeongin, who once said “I want my first time to be passionate and respectful” but also accidentally downloaded a virus trying to pirate a hentai dating sim.

Jisung had always assumed if one of them was gonna make it out of virginhood first, it’d be the guy with the Uzumaki clan symbol tattooed on his ribs and a social life.

But no.

It was him. Han Jisung. The guy who owned a limited-edition anime titty mousepad and squeaked like a kettle when a girl touched his arm. And now? You were grinding up against him slowly, teasingly, and he was barely clinging to reality.

“Y/n,” he whimpered, clutching your waist like you’d float away. “Can I- can I eat you out? Pleasepleaseplease.”

You blinked rapidly.

“…You wanna—?”

“So bad,” he choked. “I think about it all the time. Like in class. And when I watch those ‘how to’ videos online. Like, the diagram ones, not the porn ones, though I watched those too- but like educationally! For science!”

You stared blankly.

He was sweating.

“Okay,” you said softly, brushing your thumb over his cheek. “You’re really cute when you beg, y’know that?”

He nearly ascended.

You barely had time to giggle before he flipped you gently onto your back, hair falling into his eyes as he ducked down between your thighs like a man on a mission from God. His hands trembled as he slid your shorts down, breath hitching at the sight of your soaked panties.

“Oh my god,” he breathed out. “It’s real.”

You snorted. “What were you expecting? A hologram?”

“I don’t know!” He cried. “I was starting to believe you were some kind of high-level succubus sent to punish virgins.”

You cupped his flushed face. “Wouldn’t be the worst punishment.”

And then he locks in— eyes meeting yours as he sticks his tongue out, licking a long, fat stripe across your clothed slit. Soft. Slow. As if he was trying to memorize you with his tongue, the heat of it makes you jolt. He’s not just tasting you— he’s learning you, tracing intricate patterns with his tongue like he’s trying to decode you one flick at a time. Every motion is precise yet hungry, like he’s writing a love letter in Morse code directly to your pussy. His glasses slipping adorably down the bridge of his nose, solely focused on pleasing you.

You gasped at the feel of him against you, the pressure of his mouth sent heat curling low in your belly, it was torture. Too much and not enough. You needed to feel him without the barrier of soaked lace clinging to your folds, and he must’ve read your mind, because he groaned like he was the one being denied. He kissed your pussy like he was thanking it, mouthing over your clothed core before dragging open-mouthed kisses across your inner thighs, leaving your skin slick with spit and bites to your inner thighs. Your teeth sank into your bottom lip, everything about him felt so warm.

His teeth grazed you— playful, hungry— and your hips twitched as he whispered something nasty under his breath, half to himself, half to your cunt. By the time he slid your panties down, your thighs were trembling, tossing the flimsy fabric aside carelessly, like he didn’t care where they landed, only that they were gone. Then he buried his face between your legs like you’d been starving him for his entire life.

His tongue slipped between your folds, hot and greedy, lapping up everything you gave him like it was the sweetest thing he’d ever tasted. He flicked up and down with obscene precision, wet, messy, relentless— his nose bumping your clit as he moaned deep in his throat, like he needed this, like the taste of you could make or break him. You were soaked, legs shaking, lips parted in a silent cry, and all he did was keep eating like he was trying to crawl inside you with his tongue.

You were loving the way it feels, every bit of you being hit with electricity. Your fingers tangled in his hair the second his mouth met your pussy, gripping tight, yanking just enough to make him groan into you like he was grateful for the pain. He never slowed down. If anything, it made him hungrier, tongue flattening against your slit before flicking up again, sloppy and fast and fucking filthy.

“God- fuck, you’re so messy,” you gasped, thighs twitching around his head. “You like that? Being my dirty little mouth toy?”

He moaned. Moaned. Into your pussy.

Nodding obediently, even as you tugged harder, grinding him closer. His glasses were long gone, hair disheveled, chin dripping with spit and slick as he slurred out something unintelligible against your clit. His tongue working overtime like he was trying to spell your name in cursive with every flick.

“Holy shit,” he mumbled, words caught in his throat. “I could live here.”

You threw your head back with a laugh— and then a sharp gasp as he got bolder, messier, more desperate. His hands kept you spread, his tongue curling and licking and worshipping like this was the only chance he’d ever get. He was sure that he’d jizz his pants just from giving you head— sure it’s pathetic, maybe even tragic. But he couldn’t help it. You were just too hot, too perfect, too fucking unreal, and the taste of you on his tongue, the feel of your thighs squeezing around his head, it was better than anything his fist or filthy imagination had ever given him.

Your fingers remain tangled in his hair, holding onto him for anchorage. He looked up at you with glassy, pleading eyes, the lower half of his face glistening with your arousal and rosy cheeks. “Tell me I’m doing okay? Please? I read five articles about this. I practiced on a peach.”

You gasped. “You practiced on what?!”

“Nevermind. Just- keep calling me pretty. I swear I’ll die happy right here.”

You tugged his head back down, voice ragged and ruined.

“Then make me cum, pretty boy.”

And he did.

Like a man with something to prove.

Like a nerdy little virgin who had just found his true calling.

Your eyes closed shut at the feeling, falling apart at the seams. Every stroke of his tongue making your insides tighten. You suddenly couldn’t remember how breathing worked, all you saw were flashes of white invading your vision, cumming so hard that you almost saw stars. You cried out, high and broken, hands grasping at his head as you came hard against his mouth.

Jisung moaned through it— loud and messy— tongue never letting up, licking you through every twitch, every gasp, every last jolt of overstimulation until you were tugging at his hair for dear life and gasping for air. Only then did he pull back, lips shiny, eyes half-lidded, face absolutely drenched, and smiling like he just beat the final boss of his entire life.

Somewhere in the past twenty minutes between Jisung nuzzling your thighs like a man starved and moaning like he was the one cumming, you had apparently blacked out, transcended the mortal plane, and been reborn as a puddle of girl.

Now, you lay sprawled across his unmade bed, fully clothed from the waist up and violently ruined from the waist down, chest heaving, eyes wet and glassy, one sock half-off your foot like a casualty of war.

And Jisung?

Jisung was cuddled up beside you like the world’s horniest golden retriever, chin resting on your shoulder, looking so smug and soft it was almost offensive.

You could still feel the ghost of his tongue between your legs.

“You sure you’ve never done this before?” You croaked out, blinking up at the ceiling like it had answers.

Jisung tilted his head innocently. “What, that? Nah. I just… researched. A lot. And I… uh, practiced on a fruit.”

You turned your head slowly. “Was it the peach again?”

“…It might’ve also been a mango. For tongue agility. But I named it after you, so it was romantic!”

You tried to snort, but it came out as a wheeze. “I can’t feel my legs, Jisung.”

He beamed. “Thank you.”

“That wasn’t a compliment.”

“Still taking it as one.”

He leaned in and kissed your cheek, then your nose, then your forehead like he hadn’t just destroyed your entire nervous system with his mouth.

“I feel like I just unlocked a secret side quest,” he victoriously cheered. “‘Satisfy hot girlfriend until she sees God.’ Bonus XP for oral stamina. Am I your favorite now?”

You blinked at him, still fighting for air. “I don’t even know my name right now. You’ve ruined me.”

Jisung squeaked and tucked his face into your neck, practically vibrating with joy. “You’re gonna make me cry.”

“You should. I saw the afterlife. It was just a video game buffering screen.”

He laughed, then rolled onto his back with a dramatic sigh. “I can’t believe this is real. You’re real. Your thighs are real. I had a girlfriend and head privileges all in the same night. I feel like I need to call my mom.”

“Please don’t.”

“Too late. She deserves to know her son peaked.”

You smacked him lightly with the nearest pillow, still grasping for air, still dazed.

And then he smiled at you— so big, so genuine, so sickeningly in love that your tired heart clenched.

“I’d do it again in a heartbeat, y’know,” he mumbled, brushing hair from your face. “Just say the word.”

You looked at him, the boy with anime figures on his shelf, lotion still on his desk, and love in his eyes, pulling him in for a kiss.

“Next time,” you whispered, “I’m returning the favor.”

Mindlessly reaching into his sweats, the second your hand wrapped around his length, you froze.

“…Jisung.”

“H-huh?”

You gave a blank expression. Looking down. Looking back up.

“This is- you’re.. how is this even—?”

“I DON’T KNOW,” he cried. “IT DOESN’T EVEN MAKE SENSE, I’M ONLY 5’7!”

You stared at him like he just told you he had a second life as a Marvel superhero.

“Oh my god, I just assumed you’d be, like—”

“Average?!” He gasped, scandalized.

“No! I just- I mean- look at you! You’re this cute little nerd with anime socks and a keyboard with cat ears.. how are you packing all this?!”

You were in utter disbelief, there’s no way your sweet, stammering little boyfriend had been walking around with a dick that big and had no idea what kind of weapon he was carrying. Just raw, untapped dick potential— XL stats on a man who still apologizes when his knees crack too loud. Poor baby had been lugging around a whole third leg, and didn’t even know the first thing to do with it ;(

He simply shook his head, fully tomato red now, flailing beneath you like he was about to spontaneously combust. He watched you like he was afraid to blink. You pumped him once, slowly, watching him shiver under your touch. His lips parted. His back arched. You hadn’t even gotten started and he already looked completely ruined.

“Can I ride you?” You asked sweetly.

He nodded so fast his head could nearly fell off. “Yes. Yes, oh my god, yes- please, I’ll do anything.”

“Anything?” You cocked your eyebrow.

“I’ll uninstall League right now if you ask me to—”

You giggled as you rolled the condom down over him, letting his hands greedily grab at your thighs. He was panting, forehead glistening with a sheen of sweat, like his brain was overheating just from the anticipation.

Then you finally lowered yourself, sinking down onto him, gradually, feeling the way you take him so easily from being soaking wet. Jisung mumbles something illegible under his breath as your cunt swallows his cock whole. It didn’t take long for you to reach the end of him since you were already so ready for him, staying in the same position to feel all of him inside you. His cock was splitting you open so nicely, it felt like you were in utter paradise.

And he made the sound.

Like his soul physically left his body, floated into the air, and gave you a salute on the way out.

“F-fuck.. you’re tight, I can’t—” he clutched your waist, eyes fluttering. “I’m gonna die. This is it. This is how I go.” He desperately bucks into you, wanting to feel more movement from you.

You move your hips to match his rhythm as you gain your balance, pressing both hands on his shoulder blades. You bounce slightly up and down on his cock, feeling your walls being filled up by every inch of him. You shifted from grinding on him real slow to picking up your pace indefinitely. Jisung threw his head back against the pillow from the pleasure, the sound of his balls hitting against your ass with the combination of it jiggling as you rode him like a bunny was enough to make him want to burst on the spot.

You leaned down and give him a chaste kiss. “Best way to go, huh?”

He nods vehemently. “Please don’t stop. Ever. I’ll cancel my Crunchyroll subscription for you. I’ll stop buying figurines. I’ll even delete my Genshin account.”

“Okay, now you’re being dramatic.”

He groaned helplessly as you continuously rode him like your life depended on it, breath hitching with every drag of your hips. He was so sensitive, so overwhelmed with it all that he couldn’t stop moaning into your mouth, mumbling broken, incoherent things like, “You feel soso good,” and “I can’t believe I get to have this,” and “Am I still breathing? No? Cool.”

You kissed down his jaw, showing no signs of stopping. You knew this was going to be one of those moments you’d both play on loop in your heads for a long, long time. “Still pretty, baby.”

He pants out. “You’re gonna kill me.”

You simply keep moaning as you kept bouncing on his cock, he was thrusting back into you, going even deeper. Your eyes reaching the back of your skull from the way he was hitting all the right spots. It wouldn’t take long before you started screaming his name and showering him with endless compliments.

“You’re so fucking pretty, Ji.” You were a broken record at this point, nothing but your whines and his grunts filling the room. You felt tense, your clit was throbbing, the pressure build up making you dizzy. Jisung couldn’t keep his eyes off you for a second, the way your tits bounced through your shirt, the way your long acrylics dug into his skin, he wasn’t even sure how he was still alive.

This was better than any of those fake scenarios that he’d absentmindedly create in his head, better than finally beating a level that he’d get stuck on for hours. He was in pure heaven, and he felt his high approaching any minute.

“I-I think ’m gonna cum,” he desperately choked out, rocking into you like a dog in heat.

Jisung was wrecked beneath you. Hands fisting into the sheets, mouth agape, his eyes rolling back every time you sank down fully and clenched around him.

“Fuck, please- please, I-I can’t,” he whimpered, voice shaky, flushed all the way to the tips of his ears. His stomach tightening with every motion, trying so hard not to lose it.

You leaned forward and cupped his face, riding him a little harder, the slap of skin soft but steady. “You said you could take it, baby,” you whispered, voice syrup-sweet. “You begged for this.”

“I know, I- just- pleaseplease can I cum?” he panted, nearly on the verge of tears. His voice was raw, wrecked, like every second you didn’t let him was a cruel punishment. “’m so close, I’m- I’ll be good, I swear, just let me.. please—”

You seal his lips with yours, just to quiet the begging, grinning against his mouth as his hands fumbled for your hips again. He moaned into the kiss, his hips twitching helplessly under yours.

“You’re lucky you’re cute when you beg,” you airly chuckled, pulling back just enough to look down at him. His eyes were wild, glazed over, the pretty sounds he made were like music to your ears.

“Th-thank you,” he sobbed, the gratitude in his voice borderline ridiculous. “’m gonna- I’m- oh my god—”

And with that, he finally let go. Releasing every last drop of his seed into the condom, muscles tensing up, gripping you like you were his only tether to reality. He looked down to see your arousal creating a white, creamy ring around the base of his thick cock, almost about to cum again just from the mere sight alone. Your legs felt like jello, you were weightless, collapsing onto his sweaty, sticky chest as you try to catch your breath, brain all foggy in your post-coital daze.

You didn’t expect him to cry.

Okay— not, like, full sobbing. But a little misty-eyed? A little “what did I do to deserve this?” A sparkle in his gaze as you lay draped across his chest, both of you blissed out and glowing in the soft, RGB-lit afterglow?

Yeah.

He was trying so hard not to sniffle.

“You okay, baby?” You murmured, pressing a gentle kiss to the curve of his jaw.

Jisung nodded, eyes wide and glassy. “I just… I thought my first time would be like, awkward. Or disappointing. Or I’d accidentally sneeze into someone’s mouth and get banned from touching boobs forever.”

You laughed against his skin. “Definitely didn’t happen.”

“No,” he grins, wrapping his arms tighter around you, “this was better than anything I could’ve ever imagined in my head. Better than my first SSR pull in Genshin. Better than when I tried the seasonal spicy chicken ramen and lived.”

You tilted your head up to meet his eyes. “That’s a pretty long list of victories to beat.”

“You’re the only victory that matters.”

“Oh my god,” you groaned playfully, “who is this smooth man and what has he done with my sweaty, anime-obsessed virgin boyfriend?”

He huffed, burying his face into your hair. “He’s still sweaty and obsessed with anime. He just… also happens to be madly in love with you.”

You smiled into his chest.

“Also,” he added, completely deadpan, “I think I saw the shadow realm.”

You snorted. “When?”

“When you said I was pretty and grabbed my—” His voice cracked. He covered his face with his hands. “Oh my god, I can’t say it. My ancestors are watching.”

You giggled, shifting to lay next to him and intertwining your fingers with his.

And for a while, it was just quiet. Safe. His hand slowly brushing over your side. Your heartbeat syncing with his. The faint whir of his PC fan still spinning in the corner because, of course, he never actually shut it down.

Then he jolted upright suddenly, as if he remembered something urgent.

“Wait.”

You blinked up at him, amused. “What?”

He slid off the bed, naked except for one, singular sock and scurried to his cluttered desk. You watched, dazed and curious, as he fumbled with drawers and cracked open a cabinet that definitely shouldn’t have had food in it.

Finally, he turned around triumphantly. Holding out a white, rectangular box.

“Pocky.”

You stared. “…Seriously?”

“I always imagined I’d give my girlfriend Pocky after her first time with me,” he said solemnly. “Like a weird little anime reward.”

You sat up and grinned. “You are a weird little anime reward.”

He climbed back into bed beside you and opened the box, pulling out one, white chocolate-dipped stick and offering it with both hands like it was a sacred gift.

You bit it gently from his fingers.

“Mmm. You’re such a good boy,” you purred with a playful smile, “giving me snacks after ruining me.”

He short-circuited. Almost choking on his own Pocky. “You’re going to be the death of me.”

“I hope so.”

You kissed his cheek, then his nose, and then— just to mess with him— you whispered, “Still thinking about how big you are, by the way.”

Jisung made a noise so high-pitched it could only be heard by dogs. He flopped face down into the sheets, flailing helplessly while you laughed and straddled his back.

“You have to stop saying things like that,” he muffled into the pillow.

“Why?” You asked sweetly, brushing his hair back. “You’re my pretty boy. I’m just appreciating what’s mine.”

He peeked up at you, still pink, still glowing.

“…Promise you’re mine too?”

You leaned down and pressed your lips against his, soft and slow.

“Always.”

[dwarf-vader-of-middle-earth]

An important life tip for parents who block your wifi on PC/laptop (Windows 10)

I found a workaround that's suiting me so far. How it works is, wifi is blocked through the router by detecting your computer's IP address, and blocking said address. Now, it seems complicated because there are tons of methods to use for changing your IP. But so you don't have to go through the same steps every time, do this:

Make sure you're connected to a wifi network that you're blocked on. You can check by going to the Windows search bar, type "settings", hit enter, and select "Network & Internet".

It will show you the network you're currently connected to. If it says "connected, no internet" or something along those lines, you're good for the next step.

Next, go to the tab on the left labeled "WiFi". There, you will see a setting labeled "Random hardware address", and a slider beneath it that is most likely greyed out. Select it, making sure it turns blue.

Then, you're going to hit the tab on the left labeled "Status". From there, just beneath where it says you're connected to a router without internet, click the grey button labeled "properties".

Where it says "Network profile", click the "Public" setting, so that other devices in the house cannot discover your computer or connect to it, and therefore reach its files and settings.

And lastly, scroll down to the section labeled "Random hardware address". There is a drop down menu. Open the menu, and select "Change daily". This will change your IP address on a daily basis, meaning your computer will be unblocked until the IP is discovered, but once the next day arrives, it will change again and unblock it.

Hope this helps y'all as it helped me. Do not let fucking shit block you from the most essential resource in the modern world. Internet connects you to every necessary thing in existence. It's a basic necessity at this point, by ethical standards. Regain access to it however you can, wherever you can, whenever you can.

[fictionfanatic-wren]

The robin games

chapter 5/7. The Robin Games - Chapter 5 - Fictionfanatic_Wren - Batman - All Media Types [Archive of Our Own]

The small, dimly lit maintenance room was packed wall-to-wall with capes, armor, and confusion. Superman hovered just above the ground, arms crossed. Green Arrow was crouched near the half-eaten protein bar like it was a crime scene. Wonder Woman stood by the door, stone-faced. Hal Jordan paced, while Barry looked like someone had kicked his dog. “Alright,” Dinah said, hands on her hips. “Someone needs to explain why it smells like old coffee, protein bars, and deodorant for teenage boys in here.” “Because someone’s been living here,” Ollie grumbled, holding up the half-unwrapped bar with two fingers. “Look at this. Half-eaten. Not even wrapped properly. There’s coffee residue in the cup holder and prints on the terminal.” “That’s definitely not ours,” Barry added, squinting at the cup. “That’s the mug I’ve been looking for since yesterday. Yesterday, people.” “So someone’s been camping out on the Watchtower without us knowing,” Hal said, turning to Bruce with narrowed eyes. “Care to explain how your billion-dollar security system missed a freeloader living in the walls?” Bruce stood silent, face unreadable. “It didn’t miss them,” he said finally, tone low. “It found them just now.” “That’s not an answer,” Hal shot back. “I’m still processing the data,” Bruce replied smoothly, eyes never leaving the half-powered computer console. Clark floated a little closer, scanning the equipment with his x-ray vision. “There’s a whole tech setup hidden behind the panels,” he reported. “Wires, a motion sensor jammer, even a router spoof. This wasn’t slapped together. This was deliberate.” “So the real question,” Ollie muttered, “is which one of us brought a secret intern onboard.” Barry perked up, hopeful. “Maybe it’s a stowaway from Earth? A well-meaning super-fan?” “With access to League systems?” Diana said, one brow arching. “And the ability to bypass our security and, according to you, eat your pizza?” Barry deflated. “...Yeah, okay, probably not a fan.” “Let’s take stock,” Dinah said, ticking off her fingers. “We’ve had: stolen pizza, missing coffee mugs, glitter bombs in the armory, Green Arrow’s door screaming shame at him, and now someone is nesting in our walls. Someone very skilled.” Hal rubbed his temples. “Okay, real talk. If this is about the laser pointer prank from six months ago, I already apologized, Barry.” “That’s what you want me to think,” Barry snapped, arms flailing. “Maybe this is the long con. The real revenge!” “You are not important enough to sabotage with a long con,” Bruce said flatly, stepping past them to inspect the panel Tim had hastily closed. Everyone froze. “Spooky,” Clark said carefully. “That sounded kinda personal.” “Let’s not fight,” Diana said, sighing. “Let’s focus. Whoever’s here is skilled enough to hide, hack, and infiltrate without being caught for days. We need a plan.” “Oh, I’ve got one,” Ollie muttered. “We burn the whole maintenance wing and flush them out.” “Ollie.” “What? It worked with raccoons.” Bruce straightened from the console. “No fire” he said. “But we lock down non-essential areas. Increase patrols. Motion sensors, heat trackers, and set traps in likely routes.” Everyone nodded, except Barry, who just looked mournfully at his empty mug. “…I miss my coffee.”

Tim Drake moved quickly through the narrow metal duct, his body pressed low and knees aching from the awkward angles. He was running on pure adrenaline now, he’d narrowly escaped being discovered in the maintenance room, but not without losses. His spare toolkit, the laptop charger, and Barry’s coffee mug were all left behind. “Fantastic,” Tim muttered under his breath, the distant hum of voices below fading as he crawled deeper into the Watchtower’s belly. “All because someone decided to trigger an alarm right next to me.” He paused at a junction in the vent, twisting to glance at the corridor below through a slatted grate. Then, Thump. The faintest vibration in the metal above him. He stilled. Every instinct screamed caution. Someone else was in the shaft. Tim slowly reached for a small baton from his belt and turned. From the shadows, a low voice spoke: “You’re incredibly loud for someone who’s supposed to be stealthy.” Tim froze. A small figure crouched just ahead, perched in the shadows like a gargoyle. Damian. The youngest Robin looked perfectly at ease, barely winded, his cloak tucked tightly around his small frame, expression full of judgment. Tim narrowed his eyes. “You tripped the alarm, didn’t you.” Damian tilted his head. “Of course I did. This is a competition. Only the competent deserve to win. You were getting too comfortable.” Tim exhaled sharply, crawling closer so they could talk without echoing. “You little gremlin, I had a whole system running. I was fine until your stunt brought the League breathing down my neck.” Damian’s eyes gleamed in the dim light. “You were growing complacent. And it was funny.” Tim pinched the bridge of his nose. “You know if they’d found my stuff-” “Then you would’ve lost. You should thank me for teaching you the importance of vigilance.” Tim stared at him. “You sound exactly like Bruce when he’s being a hypocrite.” “A compliment.” Tim groaned. “You stole Dick’s gear too, didn’t you?” Damian didn’t answer, but his smug silence spoke volumes. Tim muttered something under his breath that was definitely not appropriate for younger ears. The two stared at each other in silence, crouched in opposite corners of the vent. For a moment, there was a grudging, still tension between them. Then Tim sighed. “Fine. Truce. Just for today. I need a new hiding spot.” Damian raised a brow. “I’m not sharing my camp.” “I don’t want it. Just a direction that isn’t crawling with League members and panic.” Damian considered this. Then he jerked his chin to the left. “Upper deck. Storage vents near the armory. Leaguers don’t patrol there much.” Tim paused, then gave a curt nod. “Thanks.” Damian arched a brow. “Try not to get caught. It would be… disappointing.” Tim rolled his eyes and began crawling away. “Right back at you, gremlin.” Damian smirked as he disappeared into the shadows, already thinking of his next move.

Jason pressed himself against the cool metallic wall, breathing shallowly as he listened to the distant sound of boots echoing through the corridor. Way too many boots. He peeked around the corner. Green Arrow. Black Canary. Flash. All moving in different directions, radios buzzing on their hips. “Maintenance room sweep’s clear,” Dinana’s voice crackled over the comms. “Yeah, but somebody left a thermos of my coffee in there,” Barry hissed. Jason ducked back, swearing under his breath. This was bad. The League was in full lockdown mode now, walking around like a bunch of angry substitute teachers trying to catch kids passing notes. All because of one little triggered alarm and a missing mug. Okay. And maybe the trip wire in the gym. And maybe the slightly rigged training bot that randomly screamed insults at ollie for two hours. And, yeah, okay, a few pranks. He crept backward into a dark corridor that led to the utility crawlspaces. His old hiding spot in the storage bay was now way too risky, at least three League members had passed through in the last hour. Jason muttered to himself as he climbed into an access tunnel. “Could’ve just let Tim or Damian take the fall, but nooo. I had to switch Barry’s toothpaste with marshmallow fluff and now the whole tower’s on DEFCON 1.” He crawled deeper until he found a narrow space behind a ventilation conduit, the metal panels warm against his back. He took off his helmet, wiping sweat from his brow, then pulled a granola bar from his pocket and bit into it like it owed him money. Footsteps passed by again above. Jason closed his eyes, forcing his breathing to slow. This was fine. This was manageable. He’d hide here for a bit, wait for the tension to cool, maybe frame Hal later if things got dire. No one suspected that Red Hood himself was in the watchtower. Yet. But the moment his eyes started to droop, a voice blared from a nearby intercom: “Reminder: motion sensors have been temporarily enhanced in this sector due to recent… incidents. Please report any suspicious movement immediately.” Jason sighed, then shoved the rest of the granola bar into his mouth. “I swear to god, if I find out Tim set this up…”

Watchtower, Sector B1, Personnel Quarters Dick Grayson moved like a shadow, a very annoyed, gearless shadow. His crawlspace hiding spot had been compromised hours ago. And without his tools, he was flying blind in a nest full of superheroes and security systems. Damian had swiped everything from his little rooftop nook, even his emergency chocolate bar. The betrayal stung. "Never trust a ten-year-old with murder training," Dick muttered under his breath as he crept through a dim hallway, every motion smooth but fueled by pure desperation. His Nightwing suit, while flexible, was now a beacon without the signal disruptors. The sleek navy blue made him far too recognizable for someone trying to stay unseen. He needed a disguise. Fast. He turned a corner, and stopped. Room B1-04. The door was heavy, black, and marked only by a biometric scanner and a simple nameplate: RESTRICTED, ACCESS LEVEL 10 Most of the League assumed this room was storage or an unused system control station. But Dick had known the truth since his early Robin years. Batman’s quarters. He hesitated for exactly two seconds. Then: “Desperate times…” Dick bypassed the lock with a quick override Bruce had taught him back when trust between them wasn’t a limited resource, and slipped inside. The room was spartan. Clean. Every corner obsessively organized. A minimalistic bed, a locked trunk, and a closet lined with armor and utility gear. But no personal touches. No photos. No journals. Classic Bruce. Dick moved to the closet. His heart thudded in his ears as he flipped through the suits, mostly standard Bat-armor, backup units, and even one older prototype with an awkward yellow emblem. Finally, he found it: a slimmed-down, stealth-variant Batsuit. Jet black, lightweight. More flexible than the others, probably one Bruce wore for espionage operations. Perfect. Dick stripped off his Nightwing gear in record time and pulled the suit on. It clung to him like a second skin. The cowl, smaller than Bruce’s standard, fit well enough once he adjusted the chin plate. He looked into the darkened windowpane and smirked at the reflection: “Well. I guess I’m Batman now.” He paused. Then shook his head. “Nope. Not saying that out loud again.” Just as he secured the last piece of armor, he heard footsteps outside the hallway.

Dick didn’t expect to be stopped. That was the whole point of wearing the suit. But as soon as he turned the corner, he nearly ran straight into Green Arrow, Canary, and Martian Manhunter, all looking like they’d been mid-conversation until the second he appeared. “Batman,” Ollie said with a nod, stepping aside to let him pass. Dick managed a stiff nod back. “Arrow. Canary. J’onn.” He deepened his voice slightly, not a full growl (he wasn’t going to parody Bruce), but just enough to pass. It seemed to work. At least for a second. Until Green Arrow squinted. “You look… thinner than usual.” “I changed my diet.” Dinah tilted her head. “And you’re walking weird.” “My leg was injured in Gotham. Minor strain. Nothing worth filing.” Martian Manhunter stared. Hard. His glowing eyes narrowed like he was scanning something just off. Dick’s internal panic flared, was the suit giving him away? Heat signature? His height? He subtly adjusted his posture and folded his arms across his chest, classic Bruce. “If there’s nothing else, I need to return to my work.” Canary blinked. “We were going to brief you on the Star City gang forming. You skipped the last two meetings.” “I was busy,” Dick said, already turning to walk past them. “And I read the reports. Proceed without me.” He held his breath as he walked away, back rigid, cape swishing just enough to look dramatic. The moment he turned the next corner and was out of sight, he bolted into the next maintenance shaft like his life depended on it. Inside the vent, he slumped against the wall, yanked off the cowl, and exhaled. “Never again,” he muttered. “I need a double the cookies when i win. And therapy.”

[simplysusiiie]

SIMZLINK by LOT 51

Overview

I get to share one of my favourite mod in the whole of the sims modding community! You're probably like "Ermm Susie there are better mods out there...?" Yeh possibly, but this one right here is MY FAVOURITE! It goes to show small things like this if EA created could make so many Simmers happy! But they decided to give us half ass EP's

But enough ranting! This mod offers your sims the ability to get Cable and Internet! So what I'm basically saying is that if you DO NOT have Wi-Fi you cannot access the net from your phone or computers or even watch TV! The couch potatoes sure gon be mad if they cannot watch their 'The Tonight Show with Tony Clifton'

But it's not simple as going on the phone and setting up a package and selecting which one you want. No. You get a leaflet through the mail and from there you call up the cable sims and from there you have to buy a router of course because HOW THE HELL YOU GON HAVE WI-FI WITHOUT A DAMN ROUTER! But you can also buy a TV Satellite dish or Antenna

How to install

Download file, if needed unzip/extract

Drag file(s) into mods folder (Documents > EA Games > The Sims 4 > Mods)

Requirements

Core Library by Lot 51

Conflict

None

Click Here to be redirected to the creators page to download!

Want more mod recommendations? Why not follow me?

Tiktok - For videos on the mods I post and more!

Youtube - For Full length videos and more!

[medicaldoctordana]

The hardware install person changed the network linkage path without running it past the tech guy who planned the whole network.

Reasonably, the tech guy found out upon arriving on site and seeing the changed hardware and justly chewed them out.

Now the tech guy is fairly flexible and went with the changes because yeah in theory the hardware install person had a good idea and intent with the change.

Only the router won't boot up.

Does the outlet have power?

Are all the connection points secure?

Tech guy points out that in changing the physical design of the network, hardware person has introduced additional failure points.

Tech guy hardwires internet to computer— issue is somewhere between here and there.

Hardware person scoffs and shruggs, goes outside to switch the router output to input.

(they don't know…)

Tech guy hardwires directly to router, skipping newly added junction point for easier accessability and movement.

The router powers up. Internet is connected.

Tries again to complete the circuit through all intended access points.

No internet connection.

Last minute hardware change may not be compatible with system.

Problem is not solved.

Tech guy knew this going in.

Both on way to store to get new cables and connectors.

Tech guy lets off second snarky comment about changing the plans without running them past them first.

Tech guy asks, do you know what this means?

Hardware install person answers, we should probably get divorced.

Tech guy says no, it means we need to work together.

Yeah you thought this was a regular work place issue when in fact it was just my two queer moms trying to set up a point to point wifi mesh network for our house. I don't know what any of this means.

[messyzoranablog]

Zorana's Guide To The Poke Classic Network!

Do you want to connect your DS Pokemon games to the internet long after Nintendo shut down their servers? Do you wish to trade and battle with your internet friends who play the gen 4 and 5 Pokemon games? Do you have a desire to watch and upload battle videos like you used to years ago?

If you said yes to any of these questions then I have the thing for you!

The Poke Classic Network!

This is a fan server for Pokemon DPPT, HGSS, BW, and BW2 that's running with the help of the Kaeru WFC! Not only does it let you connect your games to the internet again, the site will let you see what Pokemon are up on the GTS for both the gen 4 and gen 5 servers!

Below is my guide on how to get this working for you so you can bring a new life to these wonderful Pokemon games. Also I thought this would be shorter but it's rather long, so under the cut it goes! Please let me know if I missed anything in here! I'll try my best to fix it if I can.

Getting Started:

Before you get connected, make sure you are using the device you plan on doing all of your online connections with! For some reason you are locked to one device for this stuff and using another one will wipe your PalPad, and assign you a new friend code. Since what's available in the GTS search function is based on SEEN Pokemon the most reliable way to get particular pokemon (without marking everything as seen via cheating) would be trading them from people you've registered in the PalPad.

If you only plan on using the GTS then you don't need to worry as much about this.

The Poke Classic Network works on ALL DS/3Ds systems!

I will note that the Gen 5 games are easier to set up if you're using a 3Ds since they can see and read the Wifi settings of the 3Ds and can just have the DNS swapped without additional set up.

Connecting DPPT/HGSS on all systems and BW/BW2 on the DS/DSi:

I will go over connecting via Emulator in another section, this section and the next one is for if you're PHYSICAL HARDWARE.

What you'll need:

The console of choice

The game of choice, preferably played to the point where you can access the GTS for testing purposes. --- In DPPT you can find the GTS building in Jubilife City. --- In HGSS you can find the WFC building in Goldenrod City. --- In BW/BW2 you can access the GTS in the top part of every Pokecenter. --- I don't remember when exactly the GTS is unlocked for the games unfortunately.

Some way to create a Wifi network point with a compatible WEP (password type) or just no password. --- The easiest way I've found is just using a hotspot without a password. --- I know some modern routers will let you create an extra network like this if you know how. I do not and it'd likely be different for each router anyways. --- There are also some programs that can make one using your computer. I've used one for a bit before it locked what I needed behind a paywall.

What to do:

The first step is setting up the connection!

Start up the Wifi network point so it'll show up on your system.

I recommend using a hotspot that doesn't have a password on it. Make sure you change the bandwidth to 2.4 GHz, since 5 5 GHz doesn't seem to work. DO NOT PUBLICLY OPEN YOUR HOTSPOT IN A PUBLIC PLACE! You do not want someone deciding to eat up your data while you're trading pokemon, so only do this in a place you know is safe to do so, like at home or at a friend's place.

Once you've done that you'll want to open your game and go to the Nintendo WFC Settings. The button will look like one of these depending on the game you're playing:

This will take you to the DS wifi settings that are saved to the cart!

Next you'll want to tap on the big blue button which will take you to this screen.

You may or may not have connections here already if you've played before Nintendo's servers shut down. Erase them now if you do as they will no longer work. Then you'll want to tap the None button for Connection 1.

I'll be demonstrating using Connection 2 myself, but stick to the first connection.

Tap on the Search for access point button. This will bring up a list of nearby connections that your system can see. You'll want to tap on the one you started earlier. It will test the connection and the boot you back to the screen with the big blue button. Tap the big blue button and then the Ready button that's now showing up for the first connection.

Now scroll down to the very bottom and turn off Auto-obtain DNS and change the primary DNS to 178.62.43.212. You can also change the secondary DNS to the same one as well or keep it all 0s.

Once you're done it should look something like this:

Save the settings, close out of the Wifi connections menu, start your save, and try connecting to the GTS!

If you connect to the GTS then congrats, you are now able to use the Poke Classic Network! If it doesn't work the first try don't worry and try again. You can also swap the secondary DNS to the other one you weren't using and try again that way.

Connecting BW/BW2 on the 3Ds/2Ds:

This one is super simple and doesn't require any additional set up! Sorry I don't have any pictures for this one atm. I may edit this to add a couple later.

What you'll need:

Game of choice

Console of choice

What to do:

Open the internet settings on your 3Ds and tap on Connection settings.

Tap on a connection you know is working, tap Change Settings, then go to the next page.

Tap on DNS and tap No, then tap Detailed Setup. Change the primary DNS to 178.62.43.212 and either keep the secondary one as all 0s or use the same DNS address you put in the primary DNS slot.

Save your settings and go start your game, then try connecting to the GTS.

If you connect to the GTS then congrats, you are now able to use the Poke Classic Network! If it doesn't work the first try don't worry and try again. You can also swap the secondary DNS to the other one you weren't using and try again that way.

Connecting any DS Pokemon game using MelonDS (emulator):

This method will let you connect to the Poke Classic Network if you don't have the physical hardware or can't connect your system to the internet for any reason and know how to back up your save to your computer.

What you'll need:

The MelonDS emulator [Link] --- Desume doesn't have Wifi functionality so you'll need to move your saves over if that is your primary DS emulator. --- If the latest version doesn't work for some reason try again with the second newest one.

Game of choice

What to do:

The steps are nearly identical to the first section once you have the emulator running! Instead of using your own connection though you'll be using the one MelonDS makes for you, so there's no need to worry about finding a way to make one yourself.

The access point will look like this when searching for an access point:

[infiniity-survivor-choco]

✨ Basic ✨ online safety tips! this is from a technical standpoint. A non exhaustive, non professional list on how to NOT end up with people doxxing you, cause a moot got tricked by a metasploit script kiddie keylogging random and everyone deserves to feel safe in their space.

Passkeys. Use them. Hardware ones are more secure but also less versatile. Any is better than Passwords.

2FA is great and all, but token theft exists, not just on discord but, ever heard of a pass-the-cookie attack? wipe, your, cookies. Browser, whichever one you use. Wipe the data periodically. Once per week minimum

HSTS - have it set up. It's resistant to MITM attacks so long as you're careful. SSL stripping doesn't work ever since TLS, which btw TLS 1.3 is the standard.

Cryptographic encryption itself is very strong and hard to breach by brute force. Even AES 128. AES 256 is always preferred and now most browsers come with Quantum Protection. Again. None of this means anything if your online safety habits sucks and your password is compromised.

"Antivirus is useless!" Wrong. It's true that for mobile devices an AV isn't as paramount as for PC HOWEVER this is only for very casual users. Premium AV are important because they come with features that will keep you from clicking phishing links and making oopsies as well as firewalls. No. Don't pay for stuff. Stay away from anything Norton and Avast. One is a scam the other is pure spyware and adware, and we don't even need to talk about Mcafee. Kaspersky was fantastic but you already know the problem. Bitdefender Mobile Security is robust, I use it while making new empty emails every 2 weeks to avoid paying and that way you can use it forever for free. Yes. I'm a sneaky little thing, we don't pay to corps here. Btw smaller ones like ESET are good too, less load. Sophos is very specific in it's usage and don't recommend it for casual users.

Don't bother with DMZ or VM over VM stuff unless you're a professional or a genius. A set up wrong VM is an open backdoor to hackvile and contrary to popular belief a VM can be compromised, especially if you access the internet with it. Don't.

Simple tools well set up are 100x times better than complex things you know nothing about. You don't need company security suit stuff as a normal user, at all, ever.

Pleaseeeee update your router for the love of everything that's sweet and full of Ice cream. If you use WPE/WPA or anything below WPA 2 AES 256 your router is hollering to be compromised. No. WPA 2 TKIP isn't enough either. IF possible have WPA 3 set up. It's resistant to vulnerabilities the past one has particularly KRACK attacks...and pls avoid dual connections my head hurts thinking about it

Be aware of hacking tools like Metasploit or Flipper Zero. Be aware of basic stuff like SQL injections. You don't need to be an IT expert to be conscious. Zero day exploits are a thing.

Malware has many types. Adware and PUA are considered less of a problem, but still annoying. Keyloggers and Trojans are middle tier, although it depends on the Trojan as some can be highly dangerous. Fileless malware, you don't want it. Rootkits get system level acess, and worms? I wish they were gummy worms instead.

The level of access of a virus can range from data only straight up to firmware and the danger is how quickly it can escalate access permits, many viruses won't ever get beyond system level access but rootkit can gain kernel and some above that. Anything at kernel level or above can't be wiped by a factory reset and a compromised boot sector is a problem.

Common stuff like White hack hackers. Gray hat hackers. Black hat hackers. Red hat hackers etc. it's actually usually much less noisy. No. A hacker won't dress themself in black robes in a dark room and wave at you while nightwish plays in the background, your cousin. Fifteen and eating cereal could be one of those already, although most that age are script kiddies.

"I did it! I'm impossible to hack!* Stfu. No. I'm serious, don't do that. Don't fell victim to the Dunning Kruger Effect. Knowing this doesn't make you a pro and ypu could layer TOR over VPN and have every security suite in place and still get hacked by anyone skilled enough with ease, do you know how easy it is to exploit human error in terms of cyber security? the best way to NOT have your information compromised is not to brag about your knowledge. You will get humbled and it will be, at the very least, a deeply embarassing experience. And obviously keep your devices up to date

Back to more easy stuff, if you do use passwords, change them periodically, check your IP. "have I been pwned?" Yes, yes you have, there's been millions of leaks on multiple sides and even if you're tech savvy as a non pro you had it happen almost for sure, I know I did as a kid, if you use passwords make them lengthy. No. QWERTY is not lengthy, TikTok Timmy. You know the drill use symbols, mix random stuff and use your lateral thinking. Did you know sufficiently potent decides can brute force thousands of passwords in seconds? Passkeys are better, I promise.

None of the above means squat if your socials constitute of your full name disclosure and a photo of your face, don't doxx yourself. Still. Do not panick, most people won't have access to spying tools like FinSpy or Pegasus and you're not constantly being watched, just be aware of threats.

[queerocfandomer]

Love Settles as SHIELD Falls

Chapter 7 - Last Part (Epilogue to Follow)

A03 = HERE :)

The first part of the plan went off without a hitch. You had intercepted the vehicle at the airport, the actually assigned escort agent now knocked out and waiting for Chang’s return. She would take them and the councilwoman to a safe house before returning to HQ and helping with the evacuation. You stood outside the vehicle, waiting and listening; it sounded like their bathroom conversation had ended up going fairly well. From what you could tell, they didn’t even have to sedate her. She chose to trust them and Fury, which wasn’t necessary for the plan, but it made things easier that way. 

Sure enough, it was no more than five minutes before you saw Natasha walking towards you, of course not looking like herself, and two men in black suits similar to yours walking with her as you opened the rear door. 

“Councilwoman, welcome to D.C. I hope you had a good flight."

"It wasn’t the worst, thank you,” 

she replied as she entered, one of the men following her and one taking the passenger seat. 

You made your way back to the Triskelion. Parking at the front entrance, you looked into the rearview mirror and shared a confident look and nod before she exited the vehicle. Once inside, you continued to head to the garage, donning the comms that were waiting in your pocket. 

“Spiders on the way up the spout; how's mission rally the troops?” 

Sam’s voice broke through. “Wow, that was cheesy.” 

“And hilarious. I'm on my way to the hangar now.” 

It was Hill who responded this time. “We are just entering the control station.”

The announcement started just as you made it aboard one of the Insight Helicarriers. Many of the agents paused to listen, resulting in a good distraction for you to make your way across the deck, planting explosives on the Phalanx guns. However, several groups of Hydra agents were already making their moves, and firefights broke out across the hangar. You managed to set six devices before the doors began to open and the ships started to launch, seeing Rogers and Wilson jumping down from the ledge above. 

Enemy agents now flooded the deck, and you managed to take out a few before the first carrier began firing on Wilson. You detonated your charges, taking out at least some of the weapons aimed his way before heading to the nearest Quinjet. Once in the air, you saw another nearly take out Wilson and headed that way, taking it out behind him. 

“Need an assist, Birdman?” 

You maneuvered and took out a few rail guns as Steve checked in on comms, advising he had made it inside; however, Wilson was still struggling to gain access with all the guns on him. You suggested a new access point and moved in front of him as you flew to the underside of the ship, firing through the glass beneath so that he could gain access.

You continued your assault on the artillery and as Steve called for an assist to move to the third carrier you see him thrown off the edge with Wilson in quick pursuit. You take out the enemy agents on the deck who had fired on Rogers and began to make your way over as you heard Sam screaming at the weight of pulling Rogers up. Watching as they begin moving upwards you catch a glint of silver from the deck of the third ship.

It draws your attention and you only have a few seconds to realize it's the Winter Soldier, you turn your fire towards him and begin to advise the others that he is moving to intercept but it's not enough time. He fires an RPG and you pull up just enough for it to hit the undercarriage at the left router. The impact from the grenade causes little personal injury however the jet is another story, as it spins downwards. You manage to have enough control to steer it into the trees across the river although not enough to avoid a fairly head on impact. 

You feel pain radiating from your leg and shoulder hearing that Wilson had landed safely himself before passing out briefly. It couldn't have been that long before you came to, the sound of the large ships impacting the building and water stirring your consciousness. You were facing towards the scene as you heard Natashas voice on comms calling out as they collected Wilson and asked where Rogers was. You scanned the area of the third ship, his last known location, as it was breaking apart and sure enough you spotted a body falling towards the water, red white and blue shortly later another followed with a silver arm. 

You must have passed out again, as when you snapped back, the former SHIELD headquarters was all but fully collapsed, with dust settling across the area. Feeling a wetness on your forehead, you reach upward, confirming that your head is bleeding, and you hear Natasha again on comms. 

“Jensen, we are en route to your location. Do you copy?” 

You're still groggy as you unbuckle your restraints and realize your leg may be broken and your right shoulder is definitely dislocated. 

“C-Copy. This is Jensen. I copy. I saw Rogers fall.” 

You begin to move out of the seat and towards the exit. 

“Fall where?” you hear Wilson respond. 

“Into the water. We, ah, we have to look downstream,” 

you manage to stumble the words out and slide down into a sitting position onto the grass, leaning against the rear of the ship.

A couple of minutes later, an SUV pulls up as a helicopter hovers overhead. Natasha and Maria exit the vehicle and make their way towards you. You gesture to Fury and Wilson in the air as Natasha settles at your side, removing her blazer and using it to put pressure on your head wound. 

“He fell right over there from the underside of the third ship and into the water. Probably moving downstream. Land so I can come with you—I can see through the water, and yeah,” 

you run out of breath as you stumble through the sentence. 

“Your lower leg is broken,” Hill states plainly from your other side. 

“Yeah, but I don't need it to see stuff, now do I?” 

Both of the women roll their eyes at you, and you look at Natasha, beginning to smile before another pulse of pain shoots through your shoulder. 

“Ugh, fuck, Hill, do you want to help me with this?” 

You reach your arm out, gesturing to your dislocated shoulder. You all move with understanding, Natasha locking her arm with yours so that you are holding each other's elbows as she presses your undamaged shoulder firmly into the wall to hold you still. Maria takes a firm grasp on your left arm and starts counting down: 

“One, two…” 

Considering it was not your first time relocating a shoulder, you feel that you should have had more control over your reaction; thus, you find yourself unsure if you had allowed yourself to let out the scream or if you were simply incapable of holding it in. Then, embarrassingly, you pass out yet again.

When you come to this time, you first note that the helicopter is no longer hovering above. Maria is a few steps away talking on a phone, and Natasha is seated beside you still holding pressure on your head wound now with a gauze pad. 

“Well shit, how long was I out?” 

“About 10 minutes.” 

“Dam. what about you though Are you ok? did everything work out?” 

You reach out and take hold of her hand. 

“I'm fine and yes the mission was a success. You are pretty roughed up here though RJ, this head wound isn't deep but i'm sure you have a concussion and at least a few bruised ribs on top of the rest "

"You know you shouldn't be worrying about me.” 

“I do. And yet, you know i will anyway” 

She squeezed your hand as you shook your head lightly and shifted your weight before you replied. 

“Help me up?” 

You were able to stand fairly easily but not without releasing several groans of pain-  luckily your broken leg was also the left making it easier to support yourself with a working arm and leg on the right. 

“Has that stopped bleeding yet, I need to get in the air.” 

“You need medical attention” 

“have they found Rogers yet?” 

“No”

“then i'll get it after, just wrap it for now” 

“Jensen.”

“Romanoff.” 

You stared at each other for a moment, and you found yourself a little taken back by the genuine worry she was wearing on her face as you felt your heart beating against your chest. Finally she simply moved your hand to take over applying pressure, with a look of irritation as she turned heading to the med kit sitting on the hood of the SUV. 

You moved to catch Marias gaze and motioned tactical signals at her, ‘Regroup. Me. Up. Look.’ 

She responded with a shake of her head and a ‘Disregard’ 

However you returned the shake of head. ‘No. Me. look. Faster.’ 

with a slight shake of her head she finally responded ‘Message Received’ 

You both nodded as Natasha returned with the cravat bandage and began securing the gauze on your head. 

“You are incredibly stubborn, you know that?” 

“Takes one to know one, belle, besides you won't convince me that your not worried about him”

“That's not the point” 

“Look, I promise,i'll let you properly deal with this later, but first we make sure the whole team is safe” 

Her hand rested on your neck as she finished the final knot and you shared a caring look of understanding as you entwined your fingers with hers slightly before pulling away from each other as Maria approached. 

Within 10 minutes you were up in the air, sitting on the floor with legs hanging off the edge of the helicopter, rope from the back of the tactical vest securing you to the vehicle. Nearly an hour had passed since the initial fall before you finally spotted him on the river bank. He was unconscious, thoroughly beaten up and sporting several bullet wounds but Alive and so you were both transported to the hospital. 

As it turned out Natasha was right; the head injury was minimal; however, several bruised ribs had also caused some internal bleeding, which luckily ended up being non-threatening. Unfortunately, the broken leg was displaced enough to require surgery.

When you regained consciousness, you were admittedly a little surprised to see the bright red hair draped over the chair beside you. A smile spread across your face as you spoke softly, 

“Que fait une belle femme comme toi dans un endroit comme celui-ci?” (What's a beautiful woman like you doing in a place like this?) 

“Tu sais, on dirait vraiment que tu ne parles français que lorsque tu veux être encore plus ennuyeux” (You know, it really seems like you only ever speak French when you want to be extra annoying) 

Ennuyeux? Et là, je voulais dire adorable (Annoying? And here I was going for lovable.)

She simply smiled at you and gripped your hand on the mattress, joining your fingers together as you looked into each other’s eyes. There was a seriousness and vulnerability showing across her features that was rare. 

“Really though, Nat. I mean, I’m happy you're here, but I guess I didn’t exactly expect it.”

“You were, well are, in pretty rough shape. And ah, we did say that once we made it through, we were going to figure out what to do next together, right?” 

“Yeah, we did, and honestly, I really hoped that wasn’t just some kind of ‘we might die in a few hours’ kind of talk because I really did mean it, Natasha.” 

“Look, I know I really haven’t been super open, at least not very often, but I’d like to try and change that because in case it wasn’t obvious, I do genuinely care about you, Ripley. I didn’t even think of being anywhere else because I needed to make sure you were okay. I really do want this.” 

“Me too. I ah, just have one question.” 

“Right, yeah, of course.” 

You felt her hand hesitate slightly, pulling away from yours for a moment as she looked away, and you let out a small exhale in response as you continued, removing your hand from hers and raising it to her cheek.

“Are you sure I’m not in some drug-induced dream right now?” 

She returned your smile with a small shake of her head. 

“Yes, I am. This is real.” 

“Alors viens ici et embrasse-moi” (Then get over here and kiss me).

>>>EPILOGUE

[tofueatingwokerati]

The UK no longer has end to end encryption thanks to Keir Starmer’s Labour government reanimating the zombie policy that is the Snoopers Charter, first peddled by Theresa May’s Tory government and rejected by the public.

Apple withdrawing end-to-end encrypted backups from the UK "creates a dangerous precedent which authoritarian countries will surely follow".

UK now likened to authoritarian regimes and why Starmer won’t challenge Trump since he is in lock step with US policies, openly goes after sick, disabled, pensioners and poorest, increasing their hardship rather than tax the mega rich. US policy is UK policy.

So what does this mean for Apple users in the UK?

All your data in the cloud is no longer secure in comparison to having ADP enabled and can be accessed by the government upon request. The GDPR is all but dead in the UK, there are now so many government policies that snoop on us by the back door with even news outlets online now charging us for access without *cookies enabled (data farming you whilst you read with no option to opt out unless you pay)

I checked with the ICO myself and it is a fully approved policy despite its contradiction to the rights of consent, removed in the process.

If you want a workaround here are my suggestions

Cancel your iCloud storage, your data will stay on the cloud until the renewal date, use that time to back it up locally or on a flash drive.

Change your iMessage settings to delete audio messages after 2 minutes and permanently delete messages after 30 days.

Alternatively, use a third party messaging app with a delete on read feature and disable Apple iMessage altogether.

If you are tech savvy you can set up a USB drive or flash drive directly into your router hub (you should have at least one USB slot, some have two) and use FTP to back up over wifi, you can do this on any device, you don’t need a desktop.

Use a VPN service or set one up. If you’re really technical you can use a Raspberry Pi to do this, but you will need to hard code it. Think Mr Robot.

This change does not impact sensitive data like medical details which remain end to end encrypted.

If you want to learn more on the sweeping bills being pushed through government and any action your can take visit Big Brother Watch: https://bigbrotherwatch.org.uk

*If you want to read news articles without paying for the privilege of not handing over your cookie data, simply disable javascript within your browsers settings and refresh the browser page. Remember to turn it back on when your done. Alternatively disable all cookies but know this will impact your online experience and access.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Twinkfrump Linkdump

I'm touring my new, nationally bestselling novel The Bezzle! Catch me in CHICAGO (Apr 17), Torino (Apr 21) Marin County (Apr 27), Winnipeg (May 2), Calgary (May 3), Vancouver (May 4), and beyond!

Welcome to the seventeenth Pluralistic linkdump, a collection of all the miscellany that didn't make it into the week's newsletter, cunningly wrought together in a single edition that ranges from the first ISP to AI nonsense to labor organizing victories to the obituary of a brilliant scientist you should know a lot more about! Here's the other 16 dumps:

https://pluralistic.net/tag/linkdump/

If you're reading this (and you are!), it was delivered to you by an internet service provider. Today, the ISP industry is calcified, controlled by a handful of telcos and cable companies. But the idea of an "ISP" didn't come out of a giant telecommunications firm – it was created, in living memory, by excellent nerds who are still around.

Depending on how you reckon, The Little Garden was either the first or the second ISP in America. It was named after a Palo Alto Chinese restaurant frequented by its founders. To get a sense of that founding, read these excellent recollections by Tom Jennings, whose contributions include the seminal zine Homocore, the seminal networking protocol Fidonet, and the seminal third-party PC ROM, whence came Dell, Gateway, Compaq, and every other "PC clone" company.

The first installment describes how an informal co-op to network a few friends turned into a business almost by accident, with thousands of dollars flowing in and out of Jennings' bank account:

https://www.sensitiveresearch.com/Archive/TLG/TLG.html

And it describes how that ISP set a standard for neutrality, boldly declaring that "TLGnet exercises no control whatsoever over the content of the information." They introduced an idea of radical transparency, documenting their router configurations and other technical details and making them available to the public. They hired unskilled punk and queer kids from their communities and trained them to operate the network equipment they'd invented, customized or improvised.

In part two, Jennings talks about the evolution of TLG's radical business-plan: to offer unrestricted service, encouraging their customers to resell that service to people in their communities, having no lock-in, unbundling extra services including installation charges – the whole anti-enshittification enchilada:

https://www.sensitiveresearch.com/Archive/TLG/

I love Jennings and his work. I even gave him a little cameo in Picks and Shovels, the third Martin Hench novel, which will be out next winter. He's as lyrical a writer about technology as you could ask for, and he's also a brilliant engineer and thinker.

The Little Garden's founders and early power-users have all fleshed out Jennings' account of the birth of ISPs. Writing on his blog, David "DSHR" Rosenthal rounds up other histories from the likes of EFF co-founder John Gilmore and Tim Pozar:

https://blog.dshr.org/2024/04/the-little-garden.html

Rosenthal describes some of the more exotic shenanigans TLG got up to in order to do end-runs around the Bell system's onerous policies, hacking in the purest sense of the word, for example, by daisy-chaining together modems in regions with free local calling and then making "permanent local calls," with the modems staying online 24/7.

Enshittification came to the ISP business early and hit it hard. The cartel that controls your access to the internet today is a billion light-years away from the principled technologists who invented the industry with an ethos of care, access and fairness. Today's ISPs are bitterly opposed to Net Neutrality, the straightforward proposition that if you request some data, your ISP should send it to you as quickly and reliably as it can.

Instead, ISPs want to offer "slow-lanes" where they will relegate the whole internet, except for those companies that bribe the ISP to be delivered at normal speed. ISPs have a laughably transparent way of describing this: they say that they're allowing services to pay for "fast lanes" with priority access. This is the same as the giant grocery store that charges you extra unless you surrender your privacy with a "loyalty card" – and then says that they're offering a "discount" for loyal customers, rather than charging a premium to customers who don't want to be spied on.

The American business lobby loves this arrangement, and hates Net Neutrality. Having monopolized every sector of our economy, they are extremely fond of "winner take all" dynamics, and that's what a non-neutral ISP delivers: the biggest services with the deepest pockets get the most reliable delivery, which means that smaller services don't just have to be better than the big guys, they also have to be able to outbid them for "priority carriage."

If everything you get from your ISP is slow and janky, except for the dominant services, then the dominant services can skimp on quality and pocket the difference. That's the goal of every monopolist – not just to be too big to fail, but also too big to care.

Under the Trump administration, FCC chair Ajit Pai dismantled the Net Neutrality rule, colluding with American big business to rig the process. They accepted millions of obviously fake anti-Net Neutrality comments (one million identical comments from @pornhub.com addresses, comments from dead people, comments from sitting US Senators who support Net Neutrality) and declared open season on American internet users:

https://ag.ny.gov/press-release/2021/attorney-general-james-issues-report-detailing-millions-fake-comments-revealing

Now, Biden's FCC is set to reinstate Net Neutrality – but with a "compromise" that will make mobile internet (which nearly all of use sometimes, and the poorest of us are reliant on) a swamp of anticompetitive practices:

https://cyberlaw.stanford.edu/blog/2024/04/harmful-5g-fast-lanes-are-coming-fcc-needs-stop-them

Under the proposed rule, mobile carriers will be able to put traffic to and from apps in the slow lane, and then extort bribes from preferred apps for normal speed and delivery. They'll rely on parts of the 5G standard to pull off this trick.

The ISP cartel and the FCC insist that this is fine because web traffic won't be degraded, but of course, every service is hellbent on pushing you into using apps instead of the web. That's because the web is an open platform, which means you can install ad- and privacy-blockers. More than half of web users have installed a blocker, making it the largest boycott in human history:

https://doc.searls.com/2023/11/11/how-is-the-worlds-biggest-boycott-doing/

But reverse-engineering and modding an app is a legal minefield. Just removing the encryption from an app can trigger criminal penalties under Section 1201 of the DMCA, carrying a five-year prison sentence and a $500k fine. An app is just a web-page skinned in enough IP that it's a felony to mod it.

Apps are enshittification's vanguard, and the fact that the FCC has found a way to make them even worse is perversely impressive. They're voting on this on April 25, and they have until April 24 to fix this. They should. They really should:

https://docs.fcc.gov/public/attachments/DOC-401676A1.pdf

In a just world, cheating ripoff ISPs would the top tech policy story. The operational practices of ISPs effect every single one us. We literally can't talk about tech policy without ISPs in the middle. But Net Neutrality is an also-ran in tech policy discourse, while AI – ugh ugh ugh – is the thing none of us can shut up about.

This, despite the fact that the most consequential AI applications sum up to serving as a kind of moral crumple-zone for shitty business practices. The point of AI isn't to replace customer service and other low-paid workers who have taken to demanding higher wages and better conditions – it's to fire those workers and replace them with chatbots that can't do their jobs. An AI salesdroid can't sell your boss a bot that can replace you, but they don't need to. They only have to convince your boss that the bot can do your job, even if it can't.

SF writer Karl Schroeder is one of the rare sf practitioners who grapples seriously with the future, a "strategic foresight" guy who somehow skirts the bullshit that is the field's hallmark:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/03/07/the-gernsback-continuum/#wheres-my-jetpack

Writing on his blog, Schroeder describes the AI debates roiling the Association of Professional Futurists, and how it's sucking him into being an unwilling participant in the AI hype cycle:

https://kschroeder.substack.com/p/dragged-into-the-ai-hype-cycle

Schroeder's piece is a thoughtful meditation on the relationship of SF's thought-experiments and parables about AI to the promises of AI hucksters, who promise that a) "general artificial intelligence" is just around the corner and that b) it will be worth trillions of dollars.

Schroeder – like other sf writers including Ted Chiang and Charlie Stross (and me) – comes to the conclusion that AI panic isn't about AI, it's about power. The artificial life-form devouring the planet and murdering our species is the limited liability corporation, and its substrate isn't silicon, it's us, human bodies:

What’s lying underneath all our anxieties about AGI is an anxiety that has nothing to do with Artificial Intelligence. Instead, it’s a manifestation of our growing awareness that our world is being stolen from under us. Last year’s estimate put the amount of wealth currently being transferred from the people who made it to an idle billionaire class at $5.2 trillion. Artificial General Intelligence whose environment is the server farms and sweatshops of this class is frightening only because of its capacity to accelerate this greatest of all heists.

After all, the business-case for AI is so very thin that the industry can only survive on a torrent of hype and nonsense – like claims that Amazon's "Grab and Go" stores used "AI" to monitor shoppers and automatically bill them for their purchases. In reality, the stores used thousands of low-paid Indian workers to monitor cameras and manually charge your card. This happens so often that Indian technologists joke that "AI" stands for "absent Indians":

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/29/pay-no-attention/#to-the-little-man-behind-the-curtain

Isn't it funny how all the really promising AI applications are in domains that most of us aren't qualified to assess? Like the claim that Google's AI was producing millions of novel materials that will shortly revolutionize all forms of production, from construction to electronics to medical implants:

https://deepmind.google/discover/blog/millions-of-new-materials-discovered-with-deep-learning/

That's what Google's press-release claimed, anyway. But when two groups of experts actually pulled a representative sample of these "new materials" from the Deep Mind database, they found that none of these materials qualified as "credible, useful and novel":

https://pubs.acs.org/doi/10.1021/acs.chemmater.4c00643

Writing about the researchers' findings for 404 Media, Jason Koebler cites Berkeley researchers who concluded that "no new materials have been discovered":

https://www.404media.co/google-says-it-discovered-millions-of-new-materials-with-ai-human-researchers/

The researchers say that AI data-mining for new materials is promising, but falls well short of Google's claim to be so transformative that it constitutes the "equivalent to nearly 800 years’ worth of knowledge" and "an order-of-magnitude expansion in stable materials known to humanity."

AI hype keeps the bubble inflating, and for so long as it keeps blowing up, all those investors who've sunk their money into AI can tell themselves that they're rich. This is the essence of "a bezzle": "The magic interval when a confidence trickster knows he has the money he has appropriated but the victim does not yet understand that he has lost it":

https://pluralistic.net/2023/03/09/autocomplete-worshippers/#the-real-ai-was-the-corporations-that-we-fought-along-the-way

Among the best debezzlers of AI are the Princeton Center for Information Technology Policy's Arvind Narayanan and Sayash Kapoor, who edit the "AI Snake Oil" blog. Now, they've sold a book with the same title:

https://www.aisnakeoil.com/p/ai-snake-oil-is-now-available-to

Obviously, books move a lot more slowly than blogs, and so Narayanan and Kapoor say their book will focus on the timeless elements of identifying and understanding AI snake oil:

In the book, we explain the crucial differences between types of AI, why people, companies, and governments are falling for AI snake oil, why AI can’t fix social media, and why we should be far more worried about what people will do with AI than about anything AI will do on its own. While generative AI is what drives press, predictive AI used in criminal justice, finance, healthcare, and other domains remains far more consequential in people’s lives. We discuss in depth how predictive AI can go wrong. We also warn of the dangers of a world where AI continues to be controlled by largely unaccountable big tech companies.

The book's out in September and it's up for pre-order now:

https://bookshop.org/p/books/ai-snake-oil-what-artificial-intelligence-can-do-what-it-can-t-and-how-to-tell-the-difference-arvind-narayanan/21324674

One of the weirder and worst side-effects of the AI hype bubble is that it has revived the belief that it's somehow possible for giant platforms to monitor all their users' speech and remove "harmful" speech. We've tried this for years, and when humans do it, it always ends with disfavored groups being censored, while dedicated trolls, harassers and monsters evade punishment:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/08/07/como-is-infosec/

AI hype has led policy-makers to believe that we can deputize online services to spy on all their customers and block the bad ones without falling into this trap. Canada is on the verge of adopting Bill C-63, a "harmful content" regulation modeled on examples from the UK and Australia.

Writing on his blog, Canadian lawyer/activist/journalist Dimitri Lascaris describes the dire speech implications for C-63:

https://dimitrilascaris.org/2024/04/08/trudeaus-online-harms-bill-threatens-free-speech/

It's an excellent legal breakdown of the bill's provisions, but also a excellent analysis of how those provisions are likely to play out in the lives of Canadians, especially those advocating against genocide and taking other positions the that oppose the agenda of the government of the day.

Even if you like the Trudeau government and its policies, these powers will accrue to every Canadian government, including the presumptive (and inevitably, totally unhinged) near-future Conservative majority government of Pierre Poilievre.

It's been ten years since Martin Gilens and Benjamin I Page published their paper that concluded that governments make policies that are popular among elites, no matter how unpopular they are among the public:

https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/perspectives-on-politics/article/testing-theories-of-american-politics-elites-interest-groups-and-average-citizens/62327F513959D0A304D4893B382B992B

Now, this is obviously depressing, but when you see it in action, it's kind of wild. The Biden administration has declared war on junk fees, from "resort fees" charged by hotels to the dozens of line-items added to your plane ticket, rental car, or even your rent check. In response, Republican politicians are climbing to their rear haunches and, using their actual human mouths, defending junk fees:

https://prospect.org/politics/2024-04-12-republicans-objectively-pro-junk-fee/

Congressional Republicans are hell-bent on destroying the Consumer Finance Protection Bureau's $8 cap on credit-card late-fees. Trump's presumptive running-mate Tim Scott is making this a campaign plank: "Vote for me and I will protect your credit-card company's right to screw you on fees!" He boasts about the lobbyists who asked him to take this position: champions of the public interest from the Consumer Bankers Association to the US Chamber of Commerce.

Banks stand to lose $10b/year from this rule (which means Americans stand to gain $10b/year from this rule). What's more, Scott's attempt to kill the rule is doomed to fail – there's just no procedural way it will fly. As David Dayen writes, "Not only does this vote put Republicans on the spot over junk fees, it’s a doomed vote, completely initiated by their own possible VP nominee."

This is an hilarious own-goal, one that only brings attention to a largely ignored – but extremely good – aspect of the Biden administration. As Adam Green of Bold Progressives told Dayen, "What’s been missing is opponents smoking themselves out and raising the volume of this fight so the public knows who is on their side."

The CFPB is a major bright spot in the Biden administration's record. They're doing all kind of innovative things, like making it easy for you to figure out which bank will give you the best deal and then letting you transfer your account and all its associated data, records and payments with a single click:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/21/let-my-dollars-go/#personal-financial-data-rights

And now, CFPB chair Rohit Chopra has given a speech laying out the agency's plan to outlaw data-brokers:

https://www.consumerfinance.gov/about-us/newsroom/prepared-remarks-of-cfpb-director-rohit-chopra-at-the-white-house-on-data-protection-and-national-security/

Yes, this is some good news! There is, in fact, good news in the world, bright spots amidst all the misery and terror. One of those bright spots? Labor.

Unions are back, baby. Not only do the vast majority of Americans favor unions, not only are new shops being unionized at rates not seen in generations, but also the largest unions are undergoing revolutions, with control being wrestled away from corrupt union bosses and given to the rank-and-file.

Many of us have heard about the high-profile victories to take back the UAW and Teamsters, but I hadn't heard about the internal struggles at the United Food and Commercial Workers, not until I read Hamilton Nolan's gripping account for In These Times:

https://inthesetimes.com/article/revolt-aisle-5-ufcw-grocery-workers-union

Nolan profiles Faye Guenther, president of UFCW Local 3000 and her successful and effective fight to bring a militant spirit back to the union, which represents a million grocery workers. Nolan describes the fight as "every bit as dramatic as any episode of Game of Thrones," and he's not wrong. This is an inspiring tale of working people taking power away from scumbag monopoly bosses and sellout fatcat leaders – and, in so doing, creating a institution that gets better wages, better working conditions, and a better economy, by helping to block giant grocery mergers like Kroger/Albertsons.

I like to end these linkdumps on an up note, so it feels weird to be closing out with an obituary, but I'd argue that any celebration of the long life and many accomplishments of my friend and mentor Anne Innis Dagg is an "up note."

I last wrote about Anne in 2020, on the release of a documentary about her work, "The Woman Who Loved Giraffes":

https://pluralistic.net/2020/02/19/pluralist-19-feb-2020/#annedagg

As you might have guessed from the title of that doc, Anne was a biologist. She was the first woman scientist to do field-work on giraffes, and that work was so brilliant and fascinating that it kicked off the modern field of giraffology, which remains a woman-dominated specialty thanks to her tireless mentoring and support for the scientists that followed her.

Anne was also the world's most fearsome slayer of junk-science "evolutionary psychology," in which "scientists" invent unfalsifiable just-so stories that prove that some odious human characteristic is actually "natural" because it can be found somewhere in the animal kingdom (i.e., "Darling, please, it's not my fault that I'm fucking my grad students, it's the bonobos!").

Anne wrote a classic – and sadly out of print – book about this that I absolutely adore, not least for having one of the best titles I've ever encountered: "Love of Shopping" Is Not a Gene:

https://memex.craphound.com/2009/11/04/love-of-shopping-is-not-a-gene-exposing-junk-science-and-ideology-in-darwinian-psychology/

Anne was my advisor at the University of Waterloo, an institution that denied her tenure for fifty years, despite a brilliant academic career that rivaled that of her storied father, Harold Innis ("the thinking person's Marshall McLuhan"). The fact that Waterloo never recognized Anne is doubly shameful when you consider that she was awarded the Order of Canada:

https://nationalpost.com/news/canada/queen-of-giraffes-among-new-order-of-canada-recipients-with-global-influence

Anne lived a brilliant live, struggling through adversity, never compromising on her principles, inspiring a vast number of students and colleagues. She lived to ninety one, and died earlier this month. Her ashes will be spread "on the breeding grounds of her beloved giraffes" in South Africa this summer:

https://obituaries.therecord.com/obituary/anne-innis-dagg-1089534658

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/13/goulash/#material-misstatement

Image: Valeva1010 https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Hungarian_Goulash_Recipe.png

CC BY-SA 4.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/deed.en

[matsonkey]

found this and couldn't reblog so I'm reposting

image id:

first image: two-part meme of joey from friends. first part is a picture of him smiling at something out of frame, captioned "The hotel's free WiFi is really fast". second part is him staring wide eyed in horror, captioned "Your IP address starts with 172.16.42.x".

second image: lain from the anime "serial experiments lain" sitting in a chair in a dim room, in front of a glowing computer screen, and smiling at the camera. the text boxes in the image say:

Hey, guys. Lain Iwakura here to explain the joke.

You see, when a computer like your laptop or smartphone connects to wifi, the router assigns it a "local IP address" to distinguish it from other machines on the network.

Most routers use IPv4 for this, where an IP address is four numbers separated by periods. The first two or three numbers of your local IP address are usually the same for all machines on the LAN, and the most common schemas for local IP addresses are 192.168.0.x or 10.0.0.x. Those are just common defaults - they can be set to anything in the router's configuration.

The address schema 172.16.42.x is not a common default for a normal router. It is the default for a device called a "WiFi Pineapple", which is a hacking tool primarily intended for "pentesting", i.e. finding exploitable vulnerabilities in a computing or networking system. The WiFi Pineapple acts as a router from the perspective of the computers on the local network, but a malicious actor can use it to passively scan those computers for vulnerabilities, and can even spy on network traffic going through it. Thus, the joke is that the person in the hotel, finding that their local IP address is under 172.16.42.x., realizes to their horror that the hotel's LAN has been pwned by a (likely malicious) rogue access point, possibly causing their computer to be cracked and their sensitive information to be stolen by cybercriminals. In light of this breach, their panic is understandable! Always keep your software up to date and never connect to a suspicious or unsecured wifi network!

/end id

[kafus]

how to connect to wi-fi services in pokemon gen 4 (DPPT/HGSS)

it's still possible to access the wi-fi services of the gen 4 games after the official shutdown of nintendo's wii/ds wi-fi in 2013 due to fan efforts by changing your DNS settings in-game - this is called the DNS exploit. this is popularly used in gen 5 which really has no complications, but in gen 4 it's a bit more complicated because the games are So old that they can't connect to the internet through modern routers due to fancy modern internet encryption. the connection either needs to have no password, or have WEP encryption, which most modern routers do not support. i had some people asking me how to do this so here's a post lol

first, it should be noted i use the pkmnclassic service, and i think you should too. this gives you access to old mystery gifts as well as pretty much every other wi-fi feature. their website also allows you to view pokemon currently uploaded to either gen 4 or 5's GTS through your browser. once you get your wi-fi set up properly, connecting to the internet will be easy, but that setup comes first. below i am going to list all the options i am currently aware of and able to explain

option 1 - phone hotspot (easy/convenient, doesn't work for every type of phone)

some phone hotspots are able to use old WEP type encryption, or be password-less. if you have access to a phone hotspot, it's worth taking off the password if it lets you and trying to connect to the gen 4 wi-fi with it before trying any other method, since if it works it's super convenient, just turn on the hotspot any time you want to do something online in gen 4 and turn it back off when you're done. unfortunately this depends on the type of phone and what OS its on and i don't have a list of what phones or OSes are compatible, so good luck lol. mine personally is not, and i have a fully updated iphone

option 2 - guest wi-fi (a little less convenient but still easy if you have access to router settings)

in the same vein as phone hotspots, guest wi-fi hotspots can also work, and this is what i personally use myself. the catch is you have to have access to your router settings, so if you're a young person using a parents' router without access to those or some other situation like that, you may have to ask for assistance every time you want to turn this on/off, which could be a dealbreaker for some unfortunately. but if you're able to do that, simply make your guest wi-fi password-less and turn it on when you want to connect to gen 4 wi-fi and turn it back off when you're done. since these settings pages are so different per internet provider, i can't really give a guide on how to do that here, though mine through verizon fios is pretty straightforward. some guest wi-fi may not work for this but i think most should

option 3 - use an old router that supports WEP encryption (probably inaccessible for most, but only has to be set up once and then you're done)

i've done this in the past but i had my dad's help with the process, i cannot walk you through buying an old router lol. but yes if you purchase an old router and set that up you can have password protected gen 4 wi-fi permanently

option 4 - save backup + emulation through melonds (works pretty much 100% of the time if you have a hacked 3DS and some sort of PC)

MelonDS is a really great DS emulator that you can find here for windows/linux/mac: https://melonds.kuribo64.net/downloads.php

the basic idea is that you can backup your save file/game with a hacked 3DS using Checkpoint or TWLSaveTool (outside the scope of this guide but this is easy to do and you can walk through the steps here) and then run it through melonds, which can bypass all this WEP/encryption hell for you and simply connect to the internet. of course this is not very convenient if you have to constantly back up your saves to do wi-fi stuff but it's better than nothing if you have no other option.

unfortunately setting up the wi-fi can be a pain, and you also need DS BIOS files to run everything properly, which i cannot provide myself for legal reasons but they uh... aren't that hard to find lol, and you can back them up from an actual DS if you have access to the necessary tools for that.

if you use a windows PC, feel free to use my version of melonds which already has all the wifi shit set up, you'll just need to provide your own bios files under emu settings (it's a bit old but it works great for this purpose): https://drive.google.com/file/d/1DQotaqFuBwXz1KYdQWiwxghtn3faLgj-/view?usp=sharing

edit: just found out right after posting this that the most recent version of melonds might work out the box without having to do any particular wi-fi setup? so feel free to try it instead of my version if you like

if you are using linux/mac or don't want to use my version, you'll have to use the melonDS FAQ/google to figure it out, i'm sorry!

by the way yes, this means even if you don't have a gen 4 cart and solely play over emulator, you can trade/battle/etc with people who are playing on DS - they connect to the same servers!

okay and NOW once you have one of those options set up, you can actually connect to wi-fi in game by doing the following:

(these screencaps are from my capture card, i am doing this on an actual DS, but you can also do this with melonds if you're using that option)

step 1: navigate to "NINTENDO WFC SETTINGS" in the menu where you press continue on your save file, in-game. in gen 4 you need to do it here and not in your DS settings.

step 2: tap "Nintendo Wi-Fi Connection Settings" and pick any of the three connections here to start the set-up. if you already have some here, i'd click "erase settings" underneath to start from scratch.

step 3: search for an access point and pick your desired access point from the list that comes up, and put in a password if needed (this assumes you have set up your wifi properly at this point)

step 4: it will attempt a connection to the internet, and may or may not throw an error. regardless, the error doesn't really matter, you can just hit "OK" whether it's successful or not

step 5: go back into your new connection (the box that previously said "None" should now say "Ready") and scroll down until you see the option "Auto-obtain DNS" - change this to "No"

step 6: change the primary DNS to pkmnclassic's DNS, which is 178.62.43.212 - in layman's terms this will essentially let you connect to their servers instead of nintendo's, which are obviously down. as for the secondary DNS, either leave it at 0.0.0.0 or change it to the same DNS as the primary

step 7: now would be a good time for a connection test. tap "Test Connection" in the top right. there should be a successful connection. assuming there is a successful connection, congrats! save your settings and enter your game as normal. you'll need to go to the basement of any pokemon center and pick up your pal pad, then try entering the wi-fi club (middle NPC at the counter) to test it in-game and get your friend code.

if there isn't, try a few more times or get closer to your access point - sometimes it's not you, the service can just occasionally be spotty. if you keep getting errors, you can use this site to look up what the error code might mean. if you still can't solve the issue, you may have to try a different method of connection as listed above.

sorry i couldn't be more in depth but frankly i'm not an expert on this stuff either, i'm just doing my best. there are a couple other options for doing this, like taking the password off your modern home wi-fi, or bridging your connection to an old laptop/computer, but the first is particularly dangerous so i didn't want to include it in the list and the second is completely out of my league, i just know people have done it before

good luck feel free to ask questions but no promises i'll have answers. if you need troubleshooting help i'd recommend pkmnclassic's discord over me, they have channels for that stuff (yes i hate troubleshooting stuff moving to discord and not forums as much as the rest of you but it can't be helped lol)

[carionto]

Bon voyage!

Wait, who's going? Where?!?

The time had arrived for Humanity's first colony ship to depart. A behemoth among the giants of the Human fleet. Thirty five kilometers long, fourteen wide, seven tall, capable of housing up to twenty one million people, and fully self sustaining. It's destination - Andromeda!

Wait, Andromeda? As in, a different galaxy?

"Yeah, that's the general idea, though this ship in particular, called The Herald of The Chosen, is privately funded by the Church of the Unforgotten and can kinda bypass a lot of red tape that's holding up the others. Twenty eight thousand members are aboard. Notice the pattern? Seven is a holy number to them and they really stick to it."

Wait wait wait, privately funded? As in, your government isn't involved? How is that even feasible? Like, logistically or legally?

"Well, back when we accidentally blew a reactor 700 years ago and caused what most saw as beyond a biblical apocalypse, there were more than enough people who became convinced of a lot of things that were kinda hard to argue against at the time.

The fact we had 'vanished' three centuries prior and there was no sun or moon or stars in the sky but things still functioned as if they were set a firm foundation for a lot of religious movements and reinforced some existing ones.

So, while most people aren't all that into faith, the ones who are are firm believers. Just so happens several big-shots are part of the Unforgotten and pulled a lot of strings and set aside many differences once the Earth 'reappeared' in real space. And now just over a year later, we have this Andromeda voyage."

Right. We're still processing that a private Human organization outperforms most of our industrial shipwright systems. We're getting used to that happening more often. Anyway, why so far, can't they establish their colony somewhere in this galaxy?

"Uhh, kinda pointless don't you think? It takes like what... six months to hyperjump from one end of the Milky Way to the other. We can colonize in-galaxy with just regular transports. Oh, I guess since your generators can't charge your hyperdrives while mid-jump it would take you a lot longer, huh. Something like five or six years, right?"

Wait. What? WHAT? You charge AND discharge hyperdrives while IN HYPERSPACE? AND YOU DON'T EXPLODE!?!

"Well, not over short jumps. We did find it becomes wobbly if you do both for over forty days straight, and then, yeah, it does blow up. We're working on a re-router. It'll be fine. Current fix is to just have two drives and switch from one to the other at regular intervals. No issues since we solved the synchronization bug that jumped half the ship clean off into a different hypertunnel.

You'd think warp gates would be the way to go, but we found that going through a literal tear in space-time causes quantum entanglement to break, among other potential problems, human testing is still a while away, so you'd end up cut off from all communication. Even the most ardent zealots still want access to the extranet."

Meanwhile, as the alien delegates swear and fumble and possibly hurts itself in its confusion due to exposure to "Humans being typical Humans", The Herald of The Chosen drifts gently into open space, to a medium sized open broadcast fanfare from fellow Unforgotten members who were not chosen. Then, as unceremonious as hyperdrives are, the act of a vessel of such magnitude jumping away still left an impression as everyone became aware of the suddenly vacated space.

[os2warp]

diy router update

IVE DONE IT! IVE FINALLY DONE IT! WIFI AND ETHERNET ARE GETTING IP ADDRESSES AND CAN ACCESS THE INTERNET AND EXIST ON THE SAME SUBNET!

i had to set up a bridge. the bridge was working fine for ethernet but there was one line missing from the config file for the wifi hotspot thing that was missing that nobody mentioned anywhere.

now i need to back up all my config files in case i have to start all over again i won't have to relearn everything. im gonna make a post about this on my website at some point.