#age is only a number ... embrace it!

[catalisst]

[croquettish]

Sexuality, Acceptability, Risk, and Medieval Bohemia

Someone commented on my Hansry fic recently about how a good number of fics in this fandom apparently feature the sort of modern protestant homophobia emblematic of the United States. This was baffling to me.

More recently I've seen a bit of backlash against this rather normative, America-centric approach to the historical homophobia (deeply entrenched in Catholicism, mind you) that they would have been subject to back then. And, as is quite normal with the internet, naturally the pendulum has swung way too far in the other direction. Jokes were made and then taken seriously by others. I've now seen sentiments floating around like "oh they wouldn't have cared at all," (not on tumblr) which is wild to me.

My doctoral studies have to do with queerness in the High Middle Ages, so seeing as I've spent the last several years of my life living on archive.org, knee-deep in this research, I feel like it's my academic responsibility to correct the record some. As usual, the answer lies somewhere in the middle of the two extremes.

All my sources are listed in the text (in the case of art) or at the very end of the post. For those of you just interested in what all of this means for Hansry, feel free to jump down to the purple heading.

I will start by saying that the "queer medieval utopia" you're looking for didn't exist. The closest you're going to get to that is the late 11th century / early 12th century, and even then there were limits to this general social acceptability. Paris and Florence were commonly considered to be gay dens of iniquity by people outside of those places, but even that was a bit of an exaggeration.

So where does this misconception come from?

Within the Catholic landscape, the body was considered separate from the spirit. Only one's "mystic sensorium" was supposed to be involved in spiritual intercourse with Christ and each other, and the overlap of the real and the ideal was… problematic at times, a genuine threat to chastity. Physical affection was meant to not broach certain limits. Kissing was acceptable. Metaphors were acceptable. In ancient Christianity, it was normal for women to kiss other women and for men to kiss other men as part of mass in the name of exchanging the kiss of peace, the pax. The idea here was to meet with the Spirit of Christ. Ambrose likened it to "lovers who, unsatisfied with the mere enjoyment of the lips, kiss so deeply as to interchange their spirits with one another." Which is all well and good, but this leaves a lot of leeway. How much physical affection was considered acceptable?

Anselm, the closest thing we have to a gay man of this time, would write things like this, in this case a letter addressed to two biological brothers that he hoped to join him in the monastic life:

"My eyes long to see your faces most beloved; my arms stretch out to your embraces; my lips long for your kisses; whatever remains to me of life desires your company . . . . Oh, how my love burns in my marrow . . . . [In coming to Bec] you have fused my soul with yours. If you now leave me, our joint soul will be torn apart, it can never again become two."

He had never met them before, nor should this suggest that they were about to enter a sexual relationship. In fact, around this time we see quite a few such expressions of affection coming out of the monastic space. Alcuin, writing to Arno of Salzburg, felt entirely comfortable writing that his love could not be prevented, even in the face of death, from licking Arno's innermost parts, a reference here (most likely) to Christ's side wound. In another letter, Alcuin is even more overt:

"It is exquisitely sweet to remember your love and intimacy, holy father; I wish the dear moment would come when I might embrace the shoulders of your love with the arms of my longing for you. . . . with what speedy hands I would rush into your fatherly embrace, with what pressing lips I would kiss not only your eyes and ears and mouth, but each knuckle of each finger, of each toe, not once, but many, many times!"

It would be extremely easy to assume that these letters suggested more than meets the eye, but historically speaking, as far as we know, this was not the case. Because this level of affection was considered to be in line with the "Christian" thing to do between brothers (no, I'm not joking). And there were harsh punishments if you breached these limits. Bear in mind, these letters could easily be seen by others!

Moreover, it should be noted that we don't see this level of affection outside of the monastic space (though it does still come up, albeit to a much lesser extent). You can think of it as code switching, essentially. Verbiage that would be considered insanely sexual in one space would not be considered as such within a monastic context prior to the shift in the 12th century.

Some scholars suggested that the use of such language implies ignorance or naivety about how this physical affection could look to the outside world, but we do know that Anselm at one point became worried enough that he might be misunderstood that he censored himself after leaving Bec for Canterbury. Even if his inclinations were chaste, he knew they could be viewed through the lens of homosexuality.

The ideal sexual state for a person to be in at this time was rooted in asceticism: chastity in the face of desire. You'd think asexuality would be a quick workaround for that, but unfortunately the lack of desire would just mean a lack of necessary effort on that person's part. Bear in mind, suffering is what's rewarded here. A gay man plagued with homosexual desires is just being tested by God. By denying himself those desires, he's rising in the ranks of holiness. A great example of this is Brother Lucas from KCD1:

According to the Rule of Pachomius, kissing boys on the lips was forbidden and punished by whipping, imprisonment, fasting, shaving, and six months of humiliation. In Fructuosus of Braga's Rule, a monk kissing or even being "too attentive to young men or boys would result in a very similar six month sentence as well as six additional months of manual labor, separated from his brethren, always under watch of at least two spiritual brothers. Never again was he allowed to enjoy private conversation or companionship with those younger than him.

"But Tam!" you might say. "This is just about monks! What about real people?"

I'm so glad you asked! Because we know that as well!

Penitentials, which were quite in vogue until around the 11th century and then again after the passing of Lateran IV in the early 13th century, were very punishing of all manner of sexuality, but especially homosexual acts, and, among them, especially oral sex. (The mouth is considered, to a certain extent, sacred. Don't ask me why, that alone is like twenty pages in my dissertation, though I could be lowballing tbh.) The Penitential of Theodore punishes it with 7 years of harsh penance and 15 years if the practice is habitual. Sometimes, however, it was "until the end of life" and considered to be the "worst evil," worse than fornication with one's mother. Harsh!

Ye olde penitentials were used as guidelines for later confession as well as those from before the 12th century. Conveniently for us, the late, great James A. Brundage came up with a fantastic chart/guide on when and how it was acceptable to have sex at all:

Did people follow this? My god, absolutely not. We wouldn't have the confessional records if this wasn't a problem in the realm of ~sin. But the guidelines were there and expected to be adhered to.

Don't get me wrong, the late 11th / early 12th century was a watershed moment in history in terms of overall acceptability of queerness, a time when Ovid and other Ovidian literature flourished. Punishments were rarely enforced. But the come-down from that era led us to a very rough landing. Lateran III kicked off the official canon ratification of outlawing homosexuality explicitly, and this, together with the outlawing of clerical marriage and the sudden flourishing of courtly love as a genre, led to a very dramatic shift in society from homosocial to heterosexual (which is, incidentally, what my dissertation is about).

The long 12th century was a red letter event in terms of history, not least because some of history's most notorious homophobes spread their ideas like wildfire. I am, of course, talking about Alain de Lille, renowned author of De planctu Naturae ("The Complaint of Nature"), which reminded everyone that homosexuality was against nature, and Peter Damian, who doesn't even deserve being commented on. The idea of homosexuality being "against nature" was far from new. The early church fathers like Augustine and Jerome condemned it pretty outrightly, and in the 13th century St. Thomas Aquinas was more than happy to further entrench the idea. Here, sodomy disrupts nature so much as to dissolve the soul.

We saw this in literature as well. Dante's Divine Comedy (early 14th c) slapped sodomites into the 7th layer of hell, but a real standout here is the Debate Between Ganymede and Helen, where the two have a very lengthy argument wherein she convinces Ganymede (often associated with homosexuality) that heterosexuality is infinitely superior to the alternative. She throws in such lovely arguments as insisting that he at least respect Nature, that he's been deceived by well-disguised filth, that he's been squandering his love between the thighs of men, and that he's been treating himself like human garbage as a result. In the end, he suddenly sees his crime for what it is, and the gods agree with him, stating that they've now also come to their senses. Sodomy is thus left behind by the gods and the choir swells in cheer at this tremendous success.

Canon law more or less exclusively had its grubby little fingers in the pies of what was and wasn't deemed acceptable in terms of sex until about the early-14th c, while afterward the government was delighted to also get involved in your bedroom activities. Particularly in the late 14th century homosexuality was increasingly legislated against, and in increasingly brutal ways at that. This wonderful and not at all problematic marriage of church and state is how we ended up with the Trials of the Knights Templar.

Let's say you're King Philip IV. The people have been revolting, you're running low on funds, you owe the Templars as it is, and you have a penchant for pogroms. You want money and land. What do you do? Well, naturally you write a letter to the pope about how you have all these horrible suspicions about these people you employ and who have come to your aid quite often!

Boy, oh boy! Wasn't that a fun time for them. Before, they'd been well-respected and well-off, supported by the king, with zero doubt in their respectability. Naturally, it all came tumbling down with that letter. Because the investigation was ready to find them at fault for something no matter what, under pain of torture of course. There's a particularly striking letter from a father to his daughter, written during the Bamberg witch trials (much later), wherein he explained that, after a particularly rough torture session, the executioner pulled him aside and told him this: "Sir, I beg you, for God's sake confess something, whether it be true or not. Invent something, for you cannot endure the torture which you will be put to; and, even if you bear it all, yet you will not escape, not even if you were an earl, but one torture will follow after another until you say you are a witch. Not before that will they let you go, as you may see by all their trials, for one is just like another."

Were the Templars recreationally homosexual? Maybe. For their sake, I sure hope so, because then they might have at least had some fun before going out. But either way, they were arrested, their territory, funds, and belongings seized, were convicted of heresy, sodomy, and black magic, and eventually burned at the stake. Two men were later burned at the stake as relapsed heretics after saying that they'd only confessed under duress and were actually innocent.

It even led to fun art like this one in 1350:

De Longuyon, Jacques. Voeux du Paon Manuscript. 1350. Morgan Library and Museum, New York. G.24 fol. 70r.

It was also around this time also that homosexuality was increasingly associated not only with heresy, but also with bestiality, suggesting that this crime against nature was effectively also a crossing of special boundaries (species-based, not extraordinary). In line with this, while homage to one's liege used to be sworn with a kiss on the lips (!!), over the course of the 14th century that was summarily done away with as well in a change that quite frankly swept across Europe (and we all wept).

In 1327, Edward II, who had a few boyfriends, was supposedly murdered by having a red hot poker shoved up his rectum. Even if this didn't happen, the chroniclers wanted us to believe it, and knowing what we do about Edward's sexual proclivities, it seems like this was a Statement if nothing else.

Where Bologna used to punish homosexuality with a fine, after the late 13th century the punishment was death by burning. The Portuguese, meanwhile, castrated convicted homosexuals and then, three days later, had them hanged by the feet until dead. In Siena, death by hanging was also the answer, but in this case, it was hanging by the dick until dead (not kidding). A particularly horrifying case was this one, happening just six years after when KCD canon takes place:

Which reminds us that this was most likely an issue that very much associated the clergy (known to be corrupt, especially around this time!). You'll recall the little comments made about this in the game, like Godwin casually committing heresy in front of the whole crew. "Do you think you need a priest for God to hear you?" Well geez, Godwin, according to the Catholic Church, you sure as shit fucking do! What a fantastic and not at all risky thing to say!

(Sidenote, this one is particularly upsetting to me personally in a fandom context because, not only is Augsburg not far from Bohemia, it really reminds me of the many associations between Hans and a caged bird.)

All of which isn't to say that sodomy didn't take place. Boy did it fucking ever. A great example of this comes from out of Switzerland, where, in 1475, a priest reportedly told his lover that "if everybody who committed [the act of sodomy] was burnt at the stake, not even fifty men would survive in Basel." ("Vnd solt man alle die so das tuend verbrennen, es bliben nit funffzig mannen jn Basel.") So, 1% of Basel. This is almost certainly a massive fucking exaggeration that this man pulled out of his ass in order to convince his partner that sodomy is fine, actually, but it does tell us something about the perception, if not the actual prevalence of sodomy in urban centers. (So, you know, if anyone needs to justify that Jadder have fucked at least once, if not more… when in Kuttenberg...)

It should be noted that Basel was very lax in terms of punishing homosexuality, but that was by and large not the most common outcome, as homosexuality was generally associated with divine punishment (I'm sure you've heard that drivel yourself before even in the modern day). Hilariously, it was the generally held belief that if someone learned of "the vice against nature" they'd naturally want to do it, and so priests were advised never to talk about it, even to preach.

So then, what does this mean for Hansry and co?

It means that this was at worst very much a fucking crime that you could very much be convicted for, in brutal fucking fashion at times, and at best the quiet part that you don't say out loud. But even then, it was fucking risky. Riskier if you're a member of the clergy (do recall how worried Brother Lucas was about his secret getting out, despite having never committed the sin himself), but risky even if you're not. All you have to do to see this reflected in canon is to look at Barnaby, the herbalist/hermit. As he explained it, he turned down a girl, she complained to her brother, and "he put two and two together":

Remember how I said that homosexuality was increasingly associated with bestiality? I find Barnaby's word choice fascinating here. Animals like him.

Of course, he beat them up and thus... uh, was able to survive:

Not that it didn't massively affect his quality of life. There's a reason he's a hermit! After all, he was unwelcome no matter where he went, no doubt because the brother and his friends ensured that this knowledge spread:

You might say, oh, it's different among the nobility! And to a certain extent, you're correct. Talking to the scribe in Troskowitz, he at one point gets to a part in the story about George the Lion of Wartenberg where he says this:

And then later, at the banquet where Hans loses his mind from jealousy, it comes up quite a lot in the conversation with Black Bartosch. First, he brings up Florian of Lomnitz:

And then, of course, we get the legendary conversation that follows, where the comment about Florian's sexuality makes Henry question Bartosch about his own:

It's soooo subtle. So, so easy to turn to plausible deniability. If anyone questions it, you can easily argue that your intentions were entirely chaste. And Henry can ignore it or even outright respond with a claim of heterosexuality:

But he can't question it like he can with the scribe:

Where the scribe then brushes it off as nothing and refuses to elaborate:

Even here this is a case of IYKTYK, like homosexuality is a club and in order to enter you have to know what's up. Because if you don't know and have to be informed, that presents a risk, namely that of suspicion being cast on you. Why do you know this information? What were you doing at this sodomitical devil's sacrament?

Honestly, at least among the nobility I'd liken it a bit to prohibition, but on a much less... widespread level. Oh, and literally everyone and anyone could be a cop. You could get away with it until you were caught. The risk was just a lot more pronounced. Even with Edward II the consequence of the very accurate rumors surrounding his sex life was public denunciation and possibly a poker up his ass. And if you're a noble involved with a commoner, multiply the risk exponentially, which is unfortunately relevant for both Hansry and Jamuel. If it really was as casually acceptable as some people claim it to have been (again, not on tumblr, I'm not here to stir up drama), I think Henry wouldn't have necessarily pushed Hans away, nor do I think they would have been as careful in their end-game conversation about what they do and don't say.

If anyone has any questions on this, tangentially-related topics, my sources, or literally anything else, by all means feel free to ask. I have the resources at my fingertips and the research very much at the forefront of my mind and will for the foreseeable future. On request, I've also added a list of further reading after my list of sources if anyone is curious to learn more of this for themselves.

Sources used:

Abraham, Erin V. Anticipating Sin in Medieval Society: Childhood, Sexuality, and Violence in the Early Penitentials, Amsterdam University Press, 2021

Anselm. The Letters of Saint Anselm of Canterbury. Translated by Walter Fröhlich, Cistercian Publications, 1990.

Brundage, James A. Law, Sex, and Christian Society in Medieval Europe. University of Chicago Press, 1987.

Dronke, Peter. Medieval Latin and the Rise of the European Love-Lyric, Vol. 1, Oxford University Press, 1965.

Major, J. Russell. “‘Bastard Feudalism’ and the Kiss: Changing Social Mores in Late Medieval and Early Modern France.” The Journal of Interdisciplinary History, vol. 17, no. 3, 1987, pp. 509–35. JSTOR, https://doi.org/10.2307/204609. 

Mills, Robert. Seeing Sodomy in the Middle Ages. University of Chicago Press, 2015

Moore, R. I. The War on Heresy: Faith and Power in Medieval Europe. Profile Books, 2014.

Murray, Jacqueline, and Konrad Eisenbichler, editors. Desire and Discipline: Sex and Sexuality in the Premodern West. University of Toronto Press, 1996.

Perella, Nicolas J. The Kiss Sacred and Profane: An Interpretative History of Kiss Symbolism and Related Religio-Erotic Themes. University of California Press, 1969.

Puff, Helmut. “Localizing Sodomy: The ‘Priest and Sodomite’ in Pre-Reformation Germany and Switzerland.” Journal of the History of Sexuality, vol. 8, no. 2, 1997, pp. 165–95. JSTOR, http://www.jstor.org/stable/3704215.

Puff, Helmut. Lust, Angst Und Provokation: Homosexualität in Der Gesellschaft. Vandenhoeck & Ruprecht, 1993.

Southern, R.W., Saint Anselm: A Portrait in a Landscape, Cambridge University Press, 1990.

Stehling, Thomas. Medieval Latin Poems of Male Love and Friendship. Garland Pub, 1984.

Recommended further reading:

Bailey, Derrick Sherwin. Homosexuality and the Western Christian Tradition. Archon Books, 1975. Originally published by Longmans, Green & Co., 1955.

Barbezat, Michael D. “Bodies of Spirit and Bodies of Flesh: The Significance of the Sexual Practices Attributed to Heretics from the Eleventh to the Fourteenth Century.” Journal of the History of Sexuality, vol. 25, no. 3, 2016, pp. 387–419. JSTOR, http://www.jstor.org/stable/44862359. 

Brundage, James A. "Playing by the Rules: Sexual Behaviour and Legal Norms in Medieval Europe". Desire and Discipline: Sex and Sexuality in the Premodern West, edited by Konrad Eisenbichler and Jacqueline Murray, Toronto: University of Toronto Press, 1996. https://doi.org/10.3138/9781442673854-004

Bullough, Vern L. “Heresy, Witchcraft, and Sexuality.” Journal of Homosexuality, vol. 1, no. 2, 3 Mar. 1976, pp. 183–199, https://doi.org/10.1300/j082v01n02_03.

---. “The Sin against Nature and Homosexuality.” Sexual Practices & the Medieval Church, edited by Vern L. Bullough and James A. Brundage, Prometheus Books, Buffalo, NY, 1994, pp. 55–71.

Bullough, Vern L., and James A. Brundage, editors. Handbook of Medieval Sexuality. Garland Publishing, 1996.

---, editors. Sexual Practices & the Medieval Church. Prometheus Books, 1994.

Burger, Glenn, and Steven F. Kruger, editors. Queering the Middle Ages. NED-New edition, vol. 27, University of Minnesota Press, 2001. JSTOR, http://www.jstor.org/stable/10.5749/j.ctttszw5.

Clark, David. Between Medieval Men: Male Friendship and Desire in Early Medieval English Literature . Oxford University Press, 2009.

Dinshaw, Carolyn. Getting Medieval: Sexualities and Communities, Pre- and Postmodern. Duke University Press, 1999.

Fradenburg Louise, et al., editors. Premodern Sexualities. Routledge, 1995.

Frassetto, Michael. Heresy and the Persecuting Society in the Middle Ages: Essays on the Work of R.I. Moore. Brill, 2006.

Gilbert, Arthur N. “Conceptions of Homosexuality and Sodomy in Western History.” The Gay Past: A Collection of Historical Essays, edited by Salvatore J. Licata and Robert P. Petersen, Harrington Press, New York, NY, 1985, pp. 57–68.

Goodich, Michael. “Sodomy in Ecclesiastical Law and Theory.” Journal of Homosexuality, vol. 1, no. 4, 20 June 1976, pp. 427–434, https://doi.org/10.1300/j082v01n04_06.

---. “Sodomy in Medieval Secular Law.” Journal of Homosexuality, vol. 1, no. 3, 20 June 1976, pp. 295–302, https://doi.org/10.1300/j082v01n03_04.

---. The Unmentionable Vice Homosexuality in the Later Medieval Period. Ross-Erikson, 1979.

Jordan, Mark D. The Invention of Sodomy in Christian Theology. University of Chicago Press, 1997.

Karras, Ruth Mazo. “Attitudes to Same-Sex Sexual Relations in the Latin World.” A Companion to Crime and Deviance in the Middle Ages, edited by Hannah Skoda, Arc Humanities Press, 2023, pp. 84–101. JSTOR, https://doi.org/10.2307/jj.3716022.9. 

---. From Boys to Men: Formations of Masculinity in Late Medieval Europe. University of Pennsylvania Press, 2003.

---. “The Regulation of ‘Sodomy’ in the Latin East and West.” Speculum, vol. 95, no. 4, 1 Oct. 2020, pp. 969–986, https://doi.org/10.1086/710639.

---. Sexuality in Medieval Europe: Doing unto Others. Routledge, 2012.

Kruger, Steven F. “Queer Middle Ages.” The Ashgate Research Companion to Queer Theory, 1st ed., Routledge, New York, NY, 2009, pp. 413–434.

Kuefler, Mathew, editor. The Boswell Thesis: Essays on Christianity, Social Tolerance, and Homosexuality. University of Chicago Press, 2006.

Lees, Clare A., et al. Medieval Masculinities: Regarding Men in the Middle Ages. University of Minnesota Press, 1994.

Pierce, Rosamond. “The ‘Frankish’ Penitentials.” Studies in Church History, vol. 11, 1975, pp. 31–39, https://doi.org/10.1017/s0424208400006276. 

***Please note: my omission of Boswell's CSTH here is entirely intentional. I know that if people here got a hold of him he'd be considered a tumblr darling, easy. If I could, I would wear merch with his name on it. And normally I would list him loudly and proudly. But I'm not, because the man loved reading into things that at times aren't there, and there are countless critiques that have been leveled against CSTH, many of which Boswell himself agreed with. So. If the general tumblr population wasn't constantly pissing on the poor I might trust it in their hands, but as it is, I know that nuance is lost on people!

(would you believe me if I said I tried to restrain myself in curating this list? no?? well I DID)

[planet-hwa]

3:42AM — 윤호

✎ summary after a late night dance practice, the adrenaline in yunho's body kept him awake... but he was so desperate

pairing yunho x reader genre established relationship, sleepy smut word count 1.2k

warnings MDNI somnophilia, dry humping, quick handjob, fingering, clothed sex?, unprotected sex [bad!!], cowgirl, slight cockwarming?

The night was quiet, the only white noise being the midnight streets of Seoul, but it wasn’t distracting enough for Yunho. His brain was wide awake, so was his body. Looking over at the digital clock on the nightstand, reading the bright numbers that showed the early morning’s age, he sighed. He shifted onto his back and stared up at the ceiling, attempting to count his way back to sleep with invisible sheep.

But it was no use.

The adrenaline from the late night dance practice still pumped through his body, refusing to let him sleep. Usually after dance practices, his body was as energetic as ever — and as horny as ever. And usually you would be awake to greet him with open arms and open legs. But tonight’s practice ran just a little too late, and you tried to stay awake for Yunho but ended up drifting into a deep sleep, you didn’t even hear him return home.

Lifting the covers, he looked at the large tent in his sweatpants, it begged for his attention. He tried his hardest to ignore it, quickly shuffling and turning to face your back. The soft shimmer of the moon illuminated your figure through the sheets, the curves in your body calling Yunho’s name. Wrapping a long arm around your waist and pulling your body against his with ease, in hopes of calming him to drift back to sleep, only for it to increase the growing erection in his pants.

Unconsciously wriggling into his embrace, your ass grazed deliciously into his hardened cock, Yunho bit down on his lip to stifle a moan that tried to escape. The friction was exactly what he needed, craving more in an instant. He knew he shouldn’t but it was like he couldn’t control himself no matter how hard he tried to. His hips began to slowly grind against your ass, it being extremely exposed due to the small pajama shorts you wore. His grip around your waist tightened as his clothed length rutted into you, pre-cum already beginning to trickle through his sweats.

He tried his hardest to stay quiet, kissing your shoulders lightly as he humped you like a dog in heat. The way your ass curved perfectly against him drove him insane, his imagination growing wild and wishing he was deep inside of you. His brain was growing foggy as his orgasm was fastly approaching, holding tightly onto your hips enough to leave a bruise. Just as he was about to crack, he heard you mumbling his name as you started to shuffle awake.

“Y-yunho, are you okay?” Worry subsiding in your voice at the soft grunts you heard him making.

Turning your head towards him, your body pushed up against him at the perfect angle, another low moan escaping his lips. It was that moment you processed the situation, the hard rod poking at your lower back, the way his breath was heavy, the look of lust deep under his hooded eyes.

“I-I’m sorry baby, I just wanted to touch you… I couldn’t help myself.” He whined quietly, a sense of guilt filling him thinking he had crossed the line. But it couldn’t be furthered from the truth.

It turned you on immensely to see him so desperate for you, to feel his erection twitch against your back. You spun your body now fully facing him, the sheen of sweat across his forehead glistened in the moonlight, quickly moving him to lay on his back as you climbed atop him. His obvious erection wedged itself into your heated core as you lent down to place a few chaste kisses on his lips, kisses which turned fiery and passionate within seconds.

You both were moaning into each other’s mouths messily, tongues exploring and tasting every inch they could. His hands roamed your body, eventually planting themselves on your hips to guide your movements. You could feel your wetness drag across your pajama shorts as you grinded your hips into him, with every movement hitting your clit in a way that made your body shiver. You swiftly pulled away panting for breath, his lips attempting to chase yours for more but you were already on the move. You played with the waistband of his sweats, now coated with an obvious wet patch from his pre-cum and your own, his hips lifting automatically as you pulled them down just enough for his thick cock to spring out and slap against his stomach.

Wrapping your hands around it, you traced over his leaking tip that held a shade of dark pink, collecting his pre-cum before slowly pumping over him. His head threw backwards against the pillow, soft groans filled the previously quiet room. You loved watching every bit of his desperation, but now you were desperate too. He watched as you moved your loose pajama shorts to the side, lining up your entrance and slowly descending onto his dick, the familiar stretch causing the both of you to moan in extension. The tip of his long cock tickled your g-spot as he bottomed out, your gummy walls molding around him and pulsating — the feeling almost made him cum on the spot.

Once your body was used to the full feeling, you began to rise and fall at the slow pace, Yunho’s hands moving back to grasp at the plush of your hips and help guide your movements. The tension was too much to bear, both of you wanting so badly to fall over the edge, so you started to follow a steadier pace, bouncing up and down like a bunny. It wasn’t quick before the two of you filled the room with hopeless moans and lewd sounds — hopefully your neighbours didn’t mind. One of Yunho’s hands replaced itself on your puffy clit, circling and squeezing it between his fingers, your back arching at the sensation.

Both your highs were so close but you needed his lips back on yours, leaning down whilst he was still deep inside you, creating a new pleasurable angle before pashing your lips together in another dance of desire. He began bucking his hips desperately upwards, fingers still wedged between your sweaty bodies and playing with your sensitive bud, waiting for your high to crash over you.

And it did. 

Wave of pleasures spilled through your body, your brain growing hazy and the only thing falling from your mouth was loud moans and a mantra of Yunho’s name. Your walls clenched around him tightly, milking him of his orgasm, the feeling of hot white ropes filling you up, overflow leaking out and dripping down your thighs. Both of your brains were a dazed mess, the room filled with the smell of sex and the sounds of your heavy mixed breaths.

Your body was limp atop his, and his limp underneath you yet his arms stayed tightly wrapped around your waist. You lifted your head from the crook of his neck, gazing at him in the darkness through hooded eyes, the only sliver of moonlight shimmering across his soft features. His cheeks and ears were painted a rosy pink, strands of hair sticking to his forehead from the sweat, a small smile curled on his lips. You placed a chaste kiss on his cheek before mumbling. “You know baby, you could’ve just woken me up.”

author's note i'm ovulating or whatever yeosang's ig username is... (this is an apology for making yunho such a dickhead in the bad boy facade series) also thank you for 300 followers, very sweet angels >.<

✉ taglist @ayanahru @betda @solaris-amethyst @sleepyheadyunho @tyudeongii @e3ellie @atzlordz @hwalighters @hwachronicles @autieofthevalley @yuhsanxxx @dejatiny @songmigimylove @hotteokimnida @yunhoserotonin @saniioveyk

written by planet-hwa™

[http-shield]

dilf?- bucky barnes

"Hey, sweetheart." Bucky croons at you as a muscular arm wraps around your waist, pulling you into the side of his body. A light kiss is pressed to your cheek in greeting as you snuggle into the side of the super soldier.

You turn to face him, eyes bright and beaming as you look up at your mission partner. It has been six long months of no Bucky and god, did you miss him. Something is different, you squint your eyes as you try to pin point the difference. Eyes the same, arm the same, muscular build that has your cheeks blushing, the same, hair slightly longer than before and not as brown. Grey. There are strands of grey within his hair, albeit no more than a few but they are there.

You blink up at him, starring at the discoloured strands before refocusing on his face. Not a single line marked his skin, not by his eyes or forehead, nothing to indicate he is ageing other than those silver streaks.

"What?" he asks, smirking.

You reach a hand up, fingers combing through tousled tresses.

"You're getting old." You don't mean for it to come out like that like it is a bad thing; in fact, it is far from. Growing old is a luxury that not many people have, not something Bucky has gotten to have, so knowing that he is ageing means he is living, enjoying life, and enjoying that process that everyone is desperate to stop or reverse.

"That's the first thing you say to me?" he chuckles, digging his fingers into your side. "Where are the manners of the kids these days?"

You squirm against his grip, trying to escape his assault on your waist, but you're firmly locked against him.

"That isn't a bad," you try to explain through giggles. “You're turning into a DILF; that's a good thing!"

Bucky stops and looks at you, utterly confused at the foreign word. "DILF?"

"Daddy I'd like to fuck."

"Please don't call me that." He sighs, finally releasing you from his embrace, his cheeks blazing red.

"Why not? It suits the new you."

"Because I'm not a dad. Why would you call me a dilf? If anything, I'd be a ....." he trails off as he struggles to find the right word.

"I can make you one if you want." you smirk at him, waggling your eyebrows.

"Make me a what? A new kind of name?"

"No, Buck. I can make you a father."

"How.."

You sigh, watching as the joke flies right over his head only to come back and smack him in the face two seconds later. These six months apart have really done numbers on him.

"Ohh," Bucky smirks at your unchanged humour. "You're getting too slick, kid." He wraps his arm around your shoulder to pull you back against him.

"You can make me even slicker if you want"

"Jesus Christ, are you ever not on!"

[luludeluluramblings]

Smalltown!Neglected!Meta!Reader x Yandere!Batfam ☁️ Part Eight

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Part One ☁️ Part Two ☁️ Part Three ☁️ Part Four ☁️ Part Five ☁️ Part Six ☁️ Part Seven

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A/N: I think I went too hard on this, but I also feel like it wasn't enough. I really wanted to play around with dialogue more. I was going to have the Bats hit Smalltown in this, but I think it would be best if the confrontation(s) had it's own chapter. Let me know what y'all think!

A/N: This is my longest writing yet. Just a heads up. Hope that's all good!

Warnings: Yandere themes, alluded murder, platonic bed sharing, OC usage.

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The way the raindrops on the windshield seemed to chase each other didn't even registered to you as your heart continues to palpitate in your chest. Your hands shaking on the steering wheel as the numbers on the mile markers continued to change, and they weren't growing any steadier with each passing one. The way the excitement to gyrated inside your chest as the old truck continued on the patch-work road made you feel lightheaded. Not in a bad way, but in a way you could get addicted to.

It didn't stop the nausea curdling in your stomach, but you chalk that up to this being your first true act of rebellion. Even if you felt it was justified. It wasn't like they were going to chase after you, though. They had made their priorities clear. Clear as Gotham's smog filled skies. You weren't going to allow yourself to waste away in that manor filled with more secrets than people when there was a life outside of it that you had once been a part of.

It wasn't until you were certain a full day had past that the storm had finally dissipated, both over Gotham and over your mind. The trepidation in your belly at long last fading into a sense serenity. Even if it was only a fleeting thing. Water rarely stays still for long when the storm comes.

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Back in Gotham the family had finally dragged their bone-weary selves back to the cave. Some collapsing in the nearest got. Some dragging themselves upstairs for their comfort of their bed. But, surprisingly, it's Damian that drags himself to your room. The past two days had worn him down and he just wanted his sibling, even if it meant disturbing them. Even if they were mad at him.

It doesn't register to him that your bed is empty. That some of your things are missing. He crawls under the covers and curls into the pillow like a temperamental cat. Resting his eyes temporarily he says. You're his sibling, you shouldn't mind. (He had heard you laughing on the phone about how your other little brother used to do this on occasion. He wants to know what that’s like)

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As everyone rest their heads back home, unaware that the worse was yet to come even after the lighting had passed, you start to turn down familiar roads. Roads you had memorized every bump of once. The roads that lead you towards a home you had missed and things you used to know.

There's a few new bumps and pot holes that you don't recognize, but you're too excited to see them as the warnings they were.

As you pull into the driveway of Nana and Grand Daddy's house, you can see Nana standing outside. Waving for you in front of the two-story bedroom house Daddy had designed and built for them years ago. The place was well cared for despite the creaky steps on the front porch that you had spent many hot summers on. Blowing snow across the yard to keep cool.

When you finally park the truck and hop out Nana's already rushing towards you with surprising speed for her old age. Already your arms are opening for her when she suddenly scoops you up and locks you in an tight embrace.

"I missed you." You mumble into her shoulder. Trying to fight back a few tears as the scent of her bitter perfume fills your nose.

"I missed you more. We all missed you more, sugarplum." You hear the gravel in her voice as she gives you one last squeeze. Holding you so tight that for a moment you feel you can't breath. But, before you need to gasp for air, she pulls back slightly. Her aged brown eyes looking you over appraisingly. "You sure ya' don't wanna rest up a bit? You look thin, sweetpea."

A soft noise escapes your lips in a puff.

"I'm sure. Still too wired from the drive." You reply as you wipe those few stray tears that somehow trickled down your cheeks. Your best efforts to keep them contained failing.

Everything around you feels different. It's home, but there's something about it that is different. The smells are the same, the sights are the same, even the sounds are the same. But, you chalk it up to the way the Gotham air still clings to your skin and the silence of the manor that has left your ears sensitive to the slightest shifts in change.

"I… I kinda feel bad about leaving how I did." Comes your immediate confession as she continues to hold you like you're made of soft gold.

Even if it seemed unnecessary to say, it felt nice just to blurt out how you were feeling to someone who actually listened. Besides, Nana had always made you tell her what was bothering you if there ever was something. It was a habit to tell her things by now.

"Leaving Gotham, I mean…. running away in the night without warning, Nana."

"Nonsense, baby." Already she's brushing your cheek and trying to soothe the worry and fear. Holding your face between her hands so all you can focus on is her.

"You ain't done not a thing wrong. They was being unreasonable. Besides, you can just call them later and tell them your alright." For a moment, you feel like she's lecturing you. Like she used to when you where little. About being safe and staying near her at all times when you went out into town with her. But, now you're grown and she still does it.

"Are you sure, Nana? Because I know You, and Momma, and Daddy used to get on to me about asking permission before doin' things-"

"Ah-ah," She irrupts your before you could finish, "This is one of those incidents where it's better to ask for forgiveness, I promise. Besides, I know you asked first. Not your fault they was being unreasonable. Not your fault at all, baby." Nana's voice going from stern to a soft coo as she starts to lead the way into the old house.

You take a breath of the place, smelling the seasonal candles that you usually had lit this time of year. Noting the slight changes in decor. Projects that Nana probably had Grand Daddy completing while you were gone. There's even more pictures on the walls. Some more of Momma and Daddy, and even more of you. Nana had even printed out the ones you had sent her on your phone while you where in Gotham.

It was nice she missed you so much that she made you the center piece of the picture gallery, but still it felt odd. You had been hoping to see more pictures of your brother, Jean Luke. To actually see what memories he had made without you. But, you don't comment. You just head towards the kitchen. Sitting in your usual spot at the counter to continue talking with her.

You can smell her cooking. Nana really wasn't the best cook, but she went all out making a few of your favorite dishes with as much effort as she could muster out of her bones.

"So, how's Lukie been doing?" You mean to start conversationally, but your tone drifts to sounding more concern when the reminder about the lack of pictures on the wall crosses your mind and the thought that maybe he actually hasn't been coping well since you’ve been gone pops into your head as well. "I know what he tells me. That he's doin' fine when we’re on the phone, but how is he actually doing, Nana?"

"He's doing better." She replies while checking the oven, a slight sigh in her voice. She caught your tone of concern. "Still misses your Momma and Daddy. Bless. But, he's doing better. He'll probably feel ever better now that your back." She gives you a grin before sliding you a cutting board and a knife.

Already you fall into step, peeling and chopping the things she hand you.

"I'm not actually back, back." You mention, biting your lip when you catch her freeze.

"What you mean, baby?" Her soft voice doesn't match her tense shoulders. The lines on her face growing taunt.

"Well, it's just I kinda feel bad about how I left things with Bruce and 'em. And, I still gotta finish high school." You start to explain. It is true. You had a whole day to try to think about your actions. Getting out of Gotham had helped you process your feelings about the place. You still didn't like Gotham, but you'd been told all your life that family was important. You just didn't know that the family that had told you that wanted you to put them before all others.

"Oh, baby, you won't be needing none of that. Besides this is where you belong. We need you here. Them city folks just don't understand you, baby." You're about to protest when she continues on just before your lips could part to speak.

"Besides, Tanner's really been missin' you. He about turned himself into a frog when Mae showed him a picture of you in that pretty little outfit she made for ya’. The boy about croaked." Nana gives you that meddlesome look you knew to well. The one she gave you when she spoke about her church friend's grandson's. The one that always made you bush.

It was a clever distraction, and not at all a lie. Nana had watched Tanner turn green with envy at the sight of you in that dress and with your date. And, he about sang when he heard about your date's death right after. The town all had to forcefully stop him from driving back to Gotham to just to comfort you.

"Nana, you're being silly again. He don't like me like that." You brush off the flush with practiced easy, giving her a stern look of your own.

"Things change, baby. You're grown now. Everything's gonna be different, but just the same." She muttered that last part so low you could hardly hear it. Just as your about to question that statement, she changes topic once more.

"Now, you wanna stay we me and your Grand Daddy tonight?" The question stunning you for a second. You hadn't even thought about where you were going to stay when you started your way back here. But, the longing creeps back into your chest once more.

"Actually, I want to stay at the old house. I- I miss my own bed." You once again find yourself confessing, though it goes much deeper than that. Nana likes it when you let her see even surface level things, usually she's able to draw the proper conclusions from them. However, this time Nana tenses for the briefest moment, but then relaxes almost instantly after. You nearly miss it.

"Of course, baby. Of course. Take Lukie with you. It'd do him some good and I'd hate for you to be alone all up in there. The loneliness might get to ya." She seemed to place a bit too much emphasis on bringing your brother with you. But, you weren't going to complain.

After all, "It already got to me, Nana. It already got to me." You whisper to yourself before letting Nana regale you with all the latest town gossip.

It's not long until you're making plans to help set up for your brother's and by extension your own birthday tomorrow. Happily chatting away until Grand Daddy and Jean-Luke walk in the door.

Instantly, receiving a soft kiss on the forehead from Grand Daddy along with a tight grip on your shoulders and a firm, "Missed you, sugarplum." Before he slowly lets you free to help Nana and quite speaking to her.

You turn to your brother, little Jean-Luc, and reach for him with the swiftness of a breeze. He seems to hesitate before returning your hug with an almost intense ferocity that strangely makes you think of your last hug with Dick. Like he doesn't want to let go. Like he's almost scared to let go.

You let him hold you a good long while, standing there in the kitchen. It should feel like a relief to hold him again. Yet, you have the sudden urge to carry him away. Something that makes the winds inside your chest tell you to flee. You mange to swallow it down, but not the tears. Those freely pour down your cheeks as you both whisper about how much you missed each other back and forth. You notice how oddly quite he is. It's easy to blame that on the grief you both still feel, but it's different.

Sitting at the table and enjoying the meal feels different. Everything is different. Including the way Jean-Luke grips your hand when you tell him your going to stay at the old house and how he can come if he wants.

You almost want to laugh at how fast he leaps into the front seat of the truck. The grin on his face the most genuine you've seen since you got here.

Driving up to the old house made you ache. A deep ache that you felt from you chest to your palms. The dirty from the buried grief you felt being disturbed. As you glanced at your little brother’s face, the one that looked so much like Momma’s, you could tell he felt it too. Which bothers you because he shouldn’t have had to bury his grief like you did yours.

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Back at the manor, in the short time it had been since Damian rested his head on your pillow. He noticed it was too still. You were always moving in the manor. Always breezing through the halls. Yet now things had gone still. Not just in your room, but through out the manor.

His green eyes had opened, and sharpened. You should be here resting with him. Where were you? He hadn't bothered to keep track of your belongings before, but some things felt out of place. After a brief scan of the room, he made his way towards the cave. His senses on high alert for you. Straining to overhear your usual chattering on the phone or your pattering feet on the carpeted halls.

But, there was nothing. Most everyone was asleep or dozing and the stillness bothered him. The cooling realization filled him with each step as he walked down into the cave.

Sitting at the computer, Bruce goes over the footage of the previous nights. The storm was suspicious, and the churning in his gut and the way his hair stood on end didn’t help those suspicions. But, when Damian had entered the cave, those suspicions went from whispers to screams.

"Damian, get everyone to the cave. Now."

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"Missing? What the hell do you mean missing?" Dick was the first to respond to the news, standing at attention and livid despite having recently been woken up by an anxious Damian. Well, as anxious as Damian would physically allow himself to be in front of anyone.

"Damian brought it to my attention and the truck is gone from the garage." Bruce replied. Normally, this would sound like his usual paranoia flaring, but no one questioned him this time. Just the grim look on his face and the way his shoulder's tensed let everyone know that this was a completely serious matter.

Exhaustion immediately melting form everyone as the mission suddenly shifted.

"Barbara, pull up the manor security cameras from the night first night of the storm."

She speedily rolled her chair over to the computer and started pulling up the footage. It was only because she had years to develop her self control that her fingers didn't shake as she typed on the keys.

I should have been watching them. I should have checked on them.

The footage begins to show the exact moment that their sweet sibling left their room with a large bag of their shoulder and a excited grin on their face.

Why are you smiling like that? Why are are you happy to be leaving them? Why are you leaving? Why are you leaving?

A million thoughts flash through each of their heads. All filled with variations of despair and worry. Those are quickly amplified when the camera video finally goes out due to the multiple lighting strikes that hit the manor and the generators.

"They left right when the manor's and cave's generator were hit." Tim jumps in into detective mode right away, not wanting to linger on the disparaging thoughts in his head. And, the budding anger in his chest for allowing this to happen. And, for you leaving them. Him.

"Why are their eyes glowing?" Duke points out, coming out of his head finally when his eyes catch the flicker of a glow on the screen. It was a blessing that the cameras were so state of the art.

"What?" That snaps everyone else out of their heads. All of them moving behind Barbara to see what he's talking about.

"Their eyes," He bends forward of the keys, lightly pressing his finger to where you face is on the high definition screen. "They're glowing."

"Babs…" Dick murmurs into her left ear, his eye's never leaving your frozen smiling face.

"On it." She nearly hisses right back. Fingers actually shaking this time as she zooms into your face and changes a few setting of the camera to see the light waves that were captured.

And, right there on the screen, was the hint illumination in those large eyes of yours.

"Holy shit, you're right." Stephanie is the first to speak. Stumbling back as she starts running a million different scenarios through her head. The other's following. Some still sitting enraged or worried about what this might possibly mean.

Possible hypothesises start being blurted out.

Mind Control?

Hypnosis?

Magic?

God, I hope not.

Aliens?

Even worse than the magic.

"Maybe someone from that town manipulated them?" Cassandra suddenly suggests, having silently watched the footage of you play over and over again. You looked excited, genuinely excited, and it broke her heart that you did. But, there was a part of her that was still hopeful. That maybe you left because you didn't know any better. Didn't realize how much they adored you. They'll fix that. They fix that as soon as they get you back.

"Was anything tampered with when that asshole dropped off the truck?" Jason grumbles while rubbing the bridge of his nose. Of course he is livid. You fucking left. Sure, he liked putting the fear of God into you and could even tell you were unhappy at times, but you're an idiot if you think it's safe out there. And, you need to come home. Fuck, he'll even apologize and make up for scaring you. Please, just come back.

"No." Tim knows this because he made sure to check. Bruce may not have wanted to touch the truck and forbid them from messing with it. But, that didn't stop Tim from snooping on you at the very least. He just wanted to pretend he was in your fondest memories. Only until he could help you make newer better ones.

"Maybe a drug? Some chemical compound?" Duke eventually suggest, praying it isn't so.

"We could run a test? Just to check." Already Barbara begins pulling up the programs necessary, while Tim sets up the lab equipment. Dick is already running up to your room to grab any strand of hair he can find that might have been left behind. And, maybe checking to see if they were all wrong and you really didn't leave them. Him.

"Run them all."

That draws everyone's attention back to Bruce. The man had been standing stoically in silence. Brooding in silence as his thoughts overwhelmed him.

You left him. You left because of him. This wasn't some disagreement on how he did things as Batman. This wasn't because you were trying to get back at him. You left him willing because of what he had done as your father. No one has ever willing left him like this before. Not his children. Not his parents. Not anyone he has ever allowed himself to actually care for. It makes him mad, but more than anything it makes him want to collapse in on himself. He won't. Obviously. But, he's going to bring you back home. He's going to fix his mistake while he has the chance and you will give him that chance.

"Bruce… That includes a DNA test."

"I said all of them."

"What?" It's Damian who finally speaks up. For the first time since he alerted the other's of your disappearance. "Why would you do that? It's unnecessary."

It's a betrayal, he thinks. Not on your part. You may be too soft and too kind and too fragile and too simple minded. But, he knows you’re his. He may have gotten over his obsession with the blood in his veins, but the blood in yours connects you to him in a way none of his other siblings can have. He doesn't even think to question it. Doesn't want to. And, for a moment, he feels utter betrayed by his sire for thinking to doubt it.

"Damian."

"NO. It is unnecessary." He doesn't glare, but the anger is plain on his face. How dare father question?

Regardless of what Damian wants, Bruce nods to Barbara and Tim when a downtrodden Dick reenters the cave with a hairbrush in hand. You really were gone.

"Do it."

"Father-"

"Damian. They are our family, regardless of the results."

Bruce will love you regardless. He did a DNA test all those years ago. He knows your his, but he needs to make sure your still his. That something didn't change you or take you from him.

For Damian it's a tense minute. He knows you'll be family. No matter the results. But, he wants to share something with you that only an exclusive few people on this Earth or in this life ever will.

"Fine."

After that, it's silence for the next forty-three minutes. The programs running on the BatComputer dinging softly as each one is completed. Barbara's fingers rub together as she watches each one.

Tim doesn't bother looking, too anxious to sit around and wait. Already, he is on a spare computer looking into God knows what. Whatever it is, the rest of them can tell it's about you. Just by seeing the way his pupils are blown wide and darting about his screen.

Dick stands tense. Normally he would move about. Pace or do something. But, it seems wrong right now. The discomfort in the stillness is nothing compared to his current distress at knowing you're gone.

Stephanie debates internally on ripping the spare computer away from Tim. Wanting to see what he's found on you. Wondering if he knows if you're alright or not. Wondering if he's just watching looped footage of you and not sharing.

Duke is thinking. Really, he's contemplating what's happening. This is going to spiral into something. He feels it. He might not be the most experienced or most trained, but he knows something is changing. And, for once, he's not scared of the idea. Mostly because he knows by the end of this you will be back home. They won't allow you to stay lost.

"DNA test shows their a match to you, Bruce. And, we compared them to your old test of them too. Still a match."

Damian nearly beams, but manages to hide his relief under a smug smile.

"I told you, father."

"I didn't doubt." And, it is true. He never doubted you were his. But, he is still searching for an explanation.

"No drugs. No anything in their system that would register, but-" Barbara stops when she notices the screen. The anomaly on it. The one test that triggered. A question being possibly answered from the result and a million more arising if true.

"Oh."

"What is it?" Jason breaks the silence that's once again gone over everyone. The sense of unease bubbling through them all.

"I ran their DNA through all the usual test, and there was one single positive one."

"Which one?"

"Meta gene. And…"

Oh.

"It's active."

"Son of a bitch."

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As your brother and you start getting settled in for the night in the old house, airing out the stale air, pretending the dusting isn't there, you wonder around a bit. Similar to how you would back at the manor. Only this time there's no historical paintings on the wall. Just pictures of your own history laid out before you.

You'd never been more grateful for all the photos taken by you mother. All the times she would chase you down with a brush or comb in hand yelling at you, "You need to make sure you have nice hair for the picture. Or, the one's with terrible hair will be the one's that forever."

"But, what if I want them to last forever?" Your voice had been young and cheeky then.

"What if I just want them to last a little bit longer?" Now that voice was older and much more solemn.

Quickly, you shake the thought from your head. Setting your bag back in your old room for the night. A quick glance at the old space shows that someone's been in it recently. Probably your old friend Mae, judging by the amount of clothes spilling from your closet and dresser. She was always stuffing things in here for you. It makes you smile fondly to know that she missed you despite your phone calls early every day.

As you walk back down the hall, you find Jean-Luc standing outside your parent's old room.

"You wanna come with me to see them?"

"Yeah." The word soft, full of unshed grief as you both walk out to the back. There's an old live oak with Spanish moss out there, and two dead people that were loved and buried underneath it.

"Daddy always liked it when you made it rain when it was sunny out." Lukie whispers, recalling all the times you won the water-gun fights.

You remember the summer showers. The snowy Christmases. The way you used to blow the pollen away. The hurricanes you tamed. The tornadoes you saved the town from . The memories make causing the rain difficult. But, when you walk through the slightly overgrown grass towards the two stones the tears fall easy while the rain falls hard.

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"I pulled up all the weather patterns for that region and the theory is starting to look more factual by the second." Tim's already taken the helm, old weather radar scans on the screen. Files on Smalltown and it's people pulled up for display.

And, an entire screen dedicated to you. You. You. YoU. yOU. YOU? YOU

"So, it's confirmed they caused the storm. But, why?" It's Stephanie that asks while pacing back and forth next to the all of gear. Her worry and disbelief illuminated by the display lights.

"Princess was probably pissed." Jason says while cleaning his guns. The parts neatly laid out on the table while he shines and greases each piece. Twice. Thrice. Over and Over.

"But, why?" Dick is finally in motion, tapping his foot as impatiently. He knows they need all the information and a plan before they can get you back. But, the wait is straining him.

Barbara gives him a single look in reply. One that they've all shared often enough to know the meaning of.

"They hid it pretty well." Duke mushes. Strangely enough he's happy with this information. Everyone else in this family is technically a normal person, just with maxed out skill stats and trauma. Now, you two can both be normal childhood bros and meta buddies together.

"Cass, did you suspect anything?"

"I didn't ask." Which translates to, she knew, but didn't want to say anything that would drive you away. Seems kind of pointless now that you're gone, though.

The bitter silence reigns once more, before Tim speaks up.

"Incoming. The Asshole is getting a call from Nana." A few clicks and they're listening to the sound of your old childhood crush and your dearest Nana speak. The topic? You.

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That night you curled up with Jean-Luc in your parents old bed. Like you both used to when nightmares made cowards. You had to dig the old bedding out of the storage. The scent of the detergent Momma used to use faint on them. But, the two of you burrowed underneath the duvet like you were trying to hide from the world.

"How you feelin'?" You whisper to him, the room only illuminated by the stars in the window and the faint bathroom light.

"It's weird without Momma and Daddy. Everythin' is weird now and scary." He mutters in reply. He practically plants himself into your side.

"I know. I feel that way about it too."

"No, I mean… here. In town it's weird. Eveybody be actin' weird since you left." There's something in the way his voice shakes that makes you think he's not making this up

"What do you mean about everyone actin' weird, hun? I thought you were spendin' time with everyone. Nana said you were hanging out with Mae and Tanner. I know Mae is odd, but-"

"Nana's being weird too. And, Grand Daddy. She don't let me do nothin' fun at all these days. Says everything's to dangerous, and if somethin' happened to me you'd be upset." The child interrupts, sounding remarkably like his age with his complaints. But the low sound of his voice sounds less like mutterings and more like a cautious whisper.

"Well, that's cause Nana loves you. She don't want nothin' to happen to you, baby." You try to reassure him, as you've always done.

"But, she's always going on and on about you. She's almost as bad as Tanner." The way he says that name makes you pause. Tanner's been mention quiet a lot since you've been back. And, you've only been back for a couple of hours.

"Tanner's gone on about me?" You try to sound bashful, try to sound like its a compliment. But, the blush doesn't come.

"Yeah." Lukie practically roots himself into your chest where your heart is beginning to pound. "Always going on about you and the future and ranting about Gotham. He… he's kinda scary. I saw him and Grand Daddy a few months ago dragging something into the swamp. It looked… it looked about as long as a gator, but it wasn't a gator. It had clothes on."

"Baby, what do you think it was?" You somehow keep your voice steady as your arms wrap around him. Clinging to him and shielding him.

"I don't think I wanna remember. I just want everything to go back to normal."

After that, you let the wind outside the house howl. The way it blows through the trees with your fear keeps you up. Eventually you force the rain once again. Trying to lull Lukie-boy and yourself to sleep. For a brief moment, a flicker of a thought before you drift off into an uneasy slumber you think...

Should I have stayed?

And, your not certain if your talking about here or Gotham.

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

A/N: I'd say there's about two more parts of this left, then we'll be really focusing on Pregnant!Reader for a bit. Got a blurb list in the works for it and a few ideas. And, I really really really need to clean out my ask box. Oops.

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

Taglist

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[ak319]

Yan Socialite brother x reader

(Warnings: Strictly platonic , not incest)

Ezra Alvarez , your younger brother, has always been your number one supporter. From a young age, he was taught that tradition dictated the older sibling would inherit the business and the farms—essentially, everything. This meant all the power would eventually be in your hands. But Ezra wasn’t a moneygrubber seeking favor, he genuinely admired your intelligence, strength, and the way you cared for the family, especially him. From the moment he gained consciousness, he aimed to be your best friend and sole confidant. He longed to be the person you turned to for counsel, and slowly but surely, things were unfolding just as he wanted.

Let's start from the beginning. Ezra and you were quite different in many ways, largely due to the contrasting upbringings you had. For example, while you cherished solitude and indulged in expensive hobbies like horseback riding, archery, and swordsmanship within the privacy of your estate, not to mention almost always busy learning and handling the business with your father. On the other hand, Ezra thrived in social settings. As a fashion designer, it was his job to attend lavish parties and stay connected with the latest trends. However, his socializing had a deeper purpose, to monitor the people in high circles and gauge their intentions toward his family, especially you.

Ezra was always vigilant, keeping tabs on potential rivals and meticulously recording this information. He made sure you were aware of everything you needed to know, and thanks to his discreet tactics, you were advancing. The way he giggled looking up at you when you patted his head in praise was endearing, if he were a puppy, his tail would surely have been wagging.

Ezra would do anything for his older sister because you're the best sister in the world! Despite being used to receiving expensive trinkets, he always gets teary-eyed when you gift him something special. Given your usually stoic and aloof demeanor, he can't help but cry tears of joy when you show him affection and smile at him. He ceaselessly rambles on about his latest projects and clothing line while you sit there, reading a book and nodding along, often clueless about what he’s saying. Yet, he still cherishes these moments because it’s only HIS sister who takes time out of her busy schedule for HIM. How could he not be grateful? That would be a crime. No other sister would ever do this for their brother! Anyway, back to designing some jockey apparels for you. You really need new ones.

As much as he dislikes your boisterous hobbies, he uses them as an excuse to spend time with you. He eagerly asks you to teach him, no matter how dirty his nails or clothes get, or how much he might risk getting sunburned. Every bit of it is worth it when someone like you is his mentor.

Your parents reprimended you for spoiling your baby brother but you always shrugged it off saying "How can I not spoil my only baby brother?." That's right sister, I am and will be always your only brother. He always makes sure to pass a victorious smirk to his parents who could only sigh in defeat at both of you.

Whenever it rains, he remembers how you love the rain while he hates it because it's all muddy but on the other hand memories of him as a kid getting scared of the thunder and you holding him in your bed in your protective embrace always warms his heart. Maybe this is where the habit of cuddling you has developed. Even now when something in his life goes wrong or he is having a tantrum , only your the one who can calm him or otherwise he is crying screaming and complaining for days and yes this is a true incident , the whole estate was close to becoming deaf if you hadn't come back from your academy bringing some new jewels and his favourite pastries for him.

Speaking of the academy, Ezra had to swallow the urge to throw another tantrum or cling to your feet when the time came for you to leave for further studies. He knew you had to do this for your own sake and the future of your family business. So, instead, he became like a second mother to you, sending letters to make sure you weren’t skipping classes—even though he knew you weren’t that kind of a person. He frequently asked about your meals and sports activities, but the part he hated most was even thinking about you having a potential lover. God, he couldn’t help but crumple up the third letter when he wrote about it, but he had to know. The thought of being secondary in your life, in everything, terrified him. What if you brought home a gold digger?! That’s how he saw anyone who came close to you. They didn’t care about your personality or charm, they were after that KA-CHING! And him being one of your top prized assets, he wasn’t about to let that happen.

His heart however calmed down when you replied with a simple 'No' about the question. Yay! Whenever you came back from academy , he was even more excited than your parents, who always found his enthusiasm adorable. How he ran back and forth scolding the servants for not cleaning your room properly , not having your favourite dish up to notch like DO YOUR FUCKING JOBS PROPERLY! He wouldn't stop yapping when you sat for tea after dinner but no matter how much you were exhausted from your journey , you still listened to him.

As cunning, witty, and sophisticated he was, Ezra made mistakes too, and in his mind, the worst mistake was failing at a task you assigned him. He would cower under your anger, fully aware that he had messed up. He was still learning the ins and outs of the tedious household budget—something he would have to manage for you one day—but it was boring, okay? Numbers just weren’t his thing. Even if you scolded him, he always waited for your apology, which you offered in your own way—like taking him out to his favorite café or silently sharing a cup of tea in his room. Moments later, he’d be hugging you, petulantly whining about you getting angry at him. He hated how you chuckled at his childish attitude, but deep down, he loved it too.

Life was going well until, one day he received a letter that you were unable to attend father's funeral due to work back in the academy. He knew it was a lie , you WOULD NEVER abandon your family like this , even your mother was skeptical. But since there was no sign of you coming back, he handled his grieving mother and the arrangements himself as much as he was dying inside due to your absence. Where were you? They needed you. You were their head now. He was worried sick.

After the guests left , it was only his uncles and aunts who sat in the living room while he came down after putting his mother to sleep.

"Ezra, dear boy. You must be tired, but there is something we need to discuss with you." The words made his blood boil, and he fought the urge to slap the indifferent looks off his father’s brothers and sisters. He knew exactly why they were still here—they were nothing but vile, disgusting pieces of filth, circling like vultures after the family’s money. He had always seen the malicious intent in their eyes when they interacted with you, and it broke his heart how you treated them as family while they plotted to push you out of the way. But he kept up the façade of a nice, obedient nephew, knowing that it would be handy for a moment like this. Where were they when he was struggling to handle everything? They only arrived at the last minute for their sibling's funeral. His poor father had died surrounded by snakes. But he swore he would never let the same happen to you. He would never betray you, his blood, like these filthy excuses for humans.

He wanted to throw up as they offered their insincere condolences, but he remained firm. They inquired about your absence, talking shit about your cold behavior for not being there, and this was his cue to play his cards right. Slipping into his favorite role as the bimbo younger brother, he wept, agreeing with their criticisms, and even cursed you, despite how much it made his heart ache. Eventually, they began to open up, believing in the hate and jealousy he pretended to harbor for you. While they didn’t reveal your whereabouts, they made it clear they deemed you as an unworthy heiress. He fake-laughed through his tears, gaining their trust the best that he could. They even had the audacity to suggest dividing the property among themselves, without even considering his mother as the rightful owner of anything. Oh, they were going to be obliterated.

He then promised to hand them the papers during a party he was going to arrange that too in a ferry. Acting on the information you once gave him, he contacted some gunmen for emergencies, making the necessary arrangements. Oh what a sight it was to see the ferry filled with the corpses of his treacherous relatives. One of the assassin came and informed that they had you abducted and thrown into a mental asylum on your way back to the estate for the funeral. His mouth hung agape at the revelation, his whole body seething with fury, and without wasting a moment, he set out to bring you back. But not before ordering the ferry to be blown up in the middle of the sea. He cackled maniacally from the dock as he watched the explosion, then leaped onto the back of one of the hitmen like a kid, gleeful at the destruction of those who had wronged you.

Once you were back and grieved a bit which only lasted for a few moments before you had to take care of covering up the bloodshed your baby brother did. But at the end you did it and currently Ezra was beside you on the arm of the chair while you worked on your late father's study table , now yours. "You are not mad at me, are you?" He asked softly, voice almost breaking at the end.

"You did what had to be done. I would have done the same to anyone who came after my family like this," you said, hearing him sniffle beside you. You gently caressed his arm, your gaze still fixed on the parchment. "Don’t cry, you know how much I hate seeing you cry, Ezzy." You felt him lay his head on your shoulder, his soft brunette locks brushing against your ear.

"Thank you… I couldn’t fucking stand them anymore, doing such… such a horrendous thing to you."

He suddenly burst into giggles, his feet dangling. "But it was fun! You know, before his death, Uncle Auden wore that hideous yellow sack coat. I saw it through the binoculars—God, he looked like a penguin getting on the ferr-!"

"Ezra." Your warning tone almost made him flinch. "What did I tell you about speaking ill of the dead?"

"I think they deserve a pass." His pout was defiant yet playful, and you couldn’t help but smile. His laughter was light, a contrast to the heaviness of this week.

He couldn't be more blissful than this. You looked as if you were made to sit in that chair, and he felt immensely proud to have cleared the path for you. He always would. As his heart pondered the future, a frown creased his brow. The thought of a day when you might stray, bringing a partner into the estate, unsettled him. Though that day seemed far off, he was already prepared to make their life hell. After all, the chances of you siding with a partner over him were slim. He has got his older sister wrapped around his manicured pinky.

➺Ezra x reader x hubby

[xislyns]

DO AGE GAPS BOTHER THEM?

Marco , Shanks , Rayleigh , Mihawk

❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ asks are open!

op masterlist : 𐙚🧸ྀི

how i think the One piece DADDIES would react to having a spouse who has a big age gap with them ? would they be insecure or secure about it? (Reader is from water 7 but honestly it doesnt rlly matter )

a/n : i am obsessed with the dilfs of one piece , istg im going to make a whole series just on hcs for these men 😩😩

AKAGAMI NO SHANKS

it bothers them at first.

Shanks usually is carefree, and during all of his trips across the grandline ofc he would often have flings, it might also be possible he has flings on every island his crew has landed on. but the moment he realized he had serious feelings for you , he grew unusually uncomfortable . It wasn’t like him to overthink, but he found himself wondering if he’d be holding you back.

“you know ____ I’m not exactly the most stable guy, im a wanted pirate,” he said one evening, swirling his drink in his hand as you can hear the crew celebrating their victory in the background . “And I’m older. You could do better ____. you would definitely be better off settling down with a shipwright in the city."

You rolled your eyes, “Stop underestimating me, Shanks. You wont scare me off with those type of words. im here with you, and im here to stay.”you said to him with utmost confidence

His grin returned, sheepish but genuine. “Guess I can’t argue with that.”

From then on, Shanks embraced the relationship fully. He’d grown comfortable about the age gap, capable of saying things like, “See ____ would still pick me even if im an old man” this whole thing will and has become one of the key points that makes him love your relationship more.

When anyone dared to comment on the difference, he’d laugh and throw an arm around you. “Jealousy’s not a good look for you, mate!” he’d sneer, brushing it off .

To Shanks, life was short, and love with you? it was worth any risk.

...⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻...

DRACULE MIHAWK

Not Bothered.

Dating Dracule Mihawk is not an easy task, age gap or not. He is known to be the best swordsman alive and not only that but he is a man of few words.

his piercing gaze often leaves you guessing his thoughts. When the topic of the age difference came up, it was you who bought it up.

“Does it bother you that I’m younger?” you asked one night, standing in the library of his castle.

He regarded you with his usual flat voice, setting down his glass of wine. “Do you really believe me to be someone who concerns myself with unimportant things like age?”

You blinked, unsure if that was an awnser you wanted to hear

Mihawk sighed, walking to approach you. “Age means nothing to me, nor will it ever matter in my life. What matters to me is compatibility, trust, and respect. Do you doubt that we share these things?”

“No,” you murmured, your cheeks warming under his intense stare.

“Then stop questioning it, Love ” he said, leaning down to kiss your forehead. “You’re my spouse, no matter what the world says.”

And that was that. Mihawk was a man who lived his life on his terms, and he could care less about how people perceive him. whats matters is he had you in arms reach.

...⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻...

MARCO THE PHEONIX

Somewhere in between.

Marco had always lived on the Moby Dick, his priorities are split between his crew and his duty as Whitebeard’s right-hand man. But when he met you a lively spirit a decade younger , he found himself intrigued.

At first, Marco hesitated. The age gap wasn’t an issue to him personally, but he was wary of the gossip and judgment it might bring to you. He was scared it would make you insecure and uncomfortable in your relationship. He spoke to you carefully, like he was testing the waters between you two.

“You’re sure about this?” he asked one evening as you sat on the docks together, the sun setting behind you.

“im sure marc,” you replied, placing your hands over his. “Age is just a number to me, Marco. What matters is how we feel. and i feel amazing when im with you"

His lips twitched into a smile, a rare but genuine expression. “You’re too wise for your years, yoi.”

From then on, Marco grew more comfortable with your relationship. He is protective in his own way, always making sure you felt supported. When anyone questioned the relationship, he’d brush them off with his usual calm demeanor, saying,“As long as we’re happy, nothing else matters, yoi.”

To him , as long as you are okay with it, then it wasnt a big deal for him. He just wants you to have the upmost comfort.

...⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻...

SILVERS RAYLEIGH

Not Bothered.

Rayleigh had seen and done it all. In his golden years, he thought his days of love and romance were behind him. Then you came along, a ball of youthful energy and charisma that reignited a spark he thought was long extinguished in his old life.

“Age gap, hm?” he chuckled one night as you teased him about his silver hair. “I’ve been living long enough to know that love doesn’t follow rules,and neither do i.”

Rayleigh adored your youthfulness and the fresh perspective you brought into his dull life. He wasn’t insecure about the gap though , if anything he found it amusing. When others raised eyebrows, he’d wave them off with a laugh.

“Let ‘em talk what they want” he’d say, pulling you closer. “We’re happy, and that’s all that matters.”

He values your presence and he was always there to share a story or give advice when you needed it. To him, the age gap was just another adventure for him.

[tossawary]

Admittedly, I don't tend to read much fanfic in fandoms I write for, because I don't want to get my canon and fanon mixed, so my selection is limited, but I've never seen anyone mention the fact that Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu (Shen Jiu) had a big sister.

One of the children in their "group", presumably numbered between "1" and "6", was a girl, and when he remembers her, Shen Jiu directly associates this lost person with safety and comfort. He thinks of her as the equivalent to Qiu Haitang before Qiu Haitang: someone who provided a place to "hide" from the rest of the world. It's not just that there happened to be an older girl in their group, but this was a girl whom Shen Jiu apparently liked and trusted.

Here's the relevant quote from Part 4 of the Qijiu Extras in SVSSS Volume 4 (the one where Yue Qingyuan finds Shen Qingqiu fighting with Liu Qingge in the brothel):

"All those years, whenever one of his beatings from Qiu Jianluo was over, or whenever he had a premonition of another beating, he had crawled to Qiu Haitang’s room and remained there, quivering. As Qiu Jianluo was unwilling to let his sister see the side of him that was perverse and lunatic, that had been the only place where Shen Jiu could hide.

And even longer ago, there had been some girl in their group, their big sis. But after she reached a certain age, that big sis had been sold to a withered old man to be his second wife. Afterward, they’d left that city, so they’d never seen her again.

Liking women wasn’t the least bit shameful, but treating women like saviors, cowering within their embrace and seeking courage from them… even without anyone saying it, Shen Qingqiu knew that was horrendously shameful. So even if it meant his death, he would never tell anyone, least of all Yue Qingyuan."

So, on the very short list of people that the original Shen Qingqiu actually liked even a little bit, there's: 1) Yue Qi before he became Yue Qingyuan, 2) Qiu Haitang, 3) Ning Yingying, 4) "the tender young lady carrying the pipa" who "had long since thrown on her thin robes and dashed out in terror" when Liu Qingge and Shen Qingqiu were fighting, maybe, and 5) this unnamed big sister who was sold off and never seen again.

I've seen plenty of fics and fic ideas where Shen Yuan transmigrates in as a twin to Shen Jiu or a biologically unrelated sibling to SJ and YQ by being a part of their group, but not as this barely canon big sister character. He could give both Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu so, so many more Jiejie issues, I'm sure.

[moonlit-stay]

· . * · ° ☆ Soft As Silk

☆ Pairing: Hwang Hyunjin x Female Reader

☆ Genre: Fluff and Smut

☆ Word Count: 3.4k

☆ Warnings: Soft!Dom Hyunjin, Sub!Fem Reader, established relationship, reader (me) is very needy for her hot and sexy boyfriend (Hyunjin), tongue sucking, fingering (f. receiving), unprotected sex, soft love making for a bit, multiple orgasms, marking, little bit of praise, creampie

☆ Please let me know if I missed anything

☆ Requested: No

Color(s) Of This Fic: Gold, Cream, and White <3

If you are under the age of 18, please do not interact with this fic. This fic contains inappropriate content and is strictly 18+

Everything written in all of my work is consensual. Even if not stated within the work.

Enjoy :)

"You love me, right?"

The question, as simple as it is, is asked with urgency; each word laced with subtle worry and something you immediately identify as excitement. It startles you slightly, but you answer the question honestly, nonetheless.

"More than anything." Your voice seeps through Hyunjin's speaker like a warm blanket, immediately easing his worries while simultaneously enhancing his excitement. "Why? Is everything okay?"

Your question is soft, gentle, but laced with arguably more worry than Hyunjin's question was. You barely had time to pull your phone to your ear before he blurted out said question, giving you no time to even greet him before your mind started racing with assumptions.

"Yea," he breathes out in a laugh, one that tells you he means it. "I did something." He simply explains, knowing the brief explanation will only spark your curiosity further.

"What do you mean?" A reasonable question, one he was expecting, and one he only answers with a breathy chuckle. "Jinnie?"

"You'll see, just be ready for me, angel."

Before you can question him further, he ends the call, leaving you to soak in your own confusion and nerves as you impatiently wait for him to get home. You manage to come up with a list of things this something could be, but knowing Hyunjin, this list grows long rather quickly, and at the end of the day, it still doesn't actually answer your question.

You're lost in thought, an equal number of assumptions and ideas circling endlessly through the paths of your mind until they inevitably circle back to the starting point. If leaving you curious and eager was Hyunjin's goal, he had succeeded without much effort.

You miss the quiet sound of your front door opening in the distance, Hyunjin quickly slipping into the warm embrace of your shared home as the bitter cold desperately chases after him. He closes the door just as quietly, taking a cautious step forward as he leaves his shoes by the door.

"Baby?" Hyunjin calls out, peering around the space he can see from where he's standing.

No longer than a second later, he hears your hurried footsteps approach him from somewhere deeper in your home. You race towards your entryway, excitement bubbling in your chest as you finally turn the corner.

Your eyes briefly meet Hyunjin's as you stop dead in your tracks, a sharp gasp leaving your lips at the unexpected sight of your boyfriend's short, blonde hair. It's a stark contrast to the long, dark brown wolf cut he's had for the past few months, and it effectively catches you off guard enough for all thoughts to leave your brain.

You take slow steps forward, almost cautiously, your mouth agape as you soak in Hyunjin's appearance. Hyunjin's hands find your waist the second you get within arms reach of him, pulling you close until your chest is flush against his. You can feel the warmth radiating off his broad form, the comforting feeling engulfing you as his fingers dip underneath the fabric of your shirt to feel your skin beneath his fingertips. He draws shapes against your soft skin as he patiently waits for your initial shock to die down.

"What do you think?" He softly asks you, his voice barely above a whisper as he smiles down at you. "Still love me?"

Aside from the initial shock, one thing you can confidently read and place amongst your jumbled thoughts is that he looks good.

"Still love you. So much," you reassure once more, your voice quiet as it dances along the border that separates a whisper from a mumble. You let your hands rest on his shoulders as your eyes rake over his features, your palms gently caressing the smooth curves of his muscles. "You look so, so good."

His features have always been perfect, but there's something about his buzzcut that deliciously highlights each of his features almost beyond recognition; putting each of them on display in a way that makes your eyes hungrily drink in every detail of his appearance. This, as well as this particular shade of blonde. It perfectly compliments his gorgeous skin tone in ways that make your head spin, his soft skin glistening in the dim lighting of your home.

There are many things about this look that draws you in like a siren at sea, drowning you in the overwhelming urge to touch and feel him everywhere at once. You simply can't take your eyes off your boyfriend. Hyunjin notices the look in your eyes, being all too familiar with the hidden meaning deep within your gaze, and he smirks down at you as his hands glide down your hips until they land on your ass. He pulls you closer, resting his forehead against yours as your hands move to glide over the silky expanse of his freshly shaved head.

"Yea?" He asks with a grin, his voice low and teasing as he palms your ass, using his grip to pull you impossibly closer.

"Yea." You sigh out in response, your tone breathy and laced with need as your hands rest against the back of his neck.

Hyunjin leans down to press his lips to yours in a searing kiss, giving you exactly what he knows you want without wasting any time. A soft moan slips past your lips just from feeling him like this, close and intimate, and all for you.

"Need you," you breathe out against his jaw, pressing kisses along the defined bone as he leans his head back, enjoying the feeling of your soft lips against his heated skin.

"You have me, angel, always." His breathing is shaky when he answers you, moving to press kisses along your neck as you cling to him, desperate to hear more of your pretty noises as he mouths at your delicate flesh.

He nips at your skin in a messy trail from just below your ear to the base of your neck, letting his tongue glide over each pinpointed spot until you're whimpering helplessly against him.

"Please," you start, your voice quiet and weak as you paw at his shirt, "do something, Jinnie."

You feel Hyunjin smirk against you before his lips are on yours again, walking you backwards towards your shared room as you blindly follow his lead. He breaks the kiss long enough to pull his shirt over his head, quickly tossing it to the side before he gently grips both your wrists in his hands, guiding them to press flat against his abdomen. You run your hands over as much of him as you can reach from the close proximity, and the shaky breath you let out against Hyunjin's lips has him throbbing in his black sweatpants, his mind spinning at how needy and worked up you are for him.

Hyunjin pulls your shirt over your head, letting it fall to the floor as he presses you against the wall of your shared room. A gasp leaves your lips at the feeling of the cold surface against your warm skin, and Hyunjin takes this opportunity to lick into your mouth as he palms your tits. He groans at the taste of you on his tongue, your lips closing around the wet muscle as you lightly suck on it with a moan. Hyunjin's eyes roll back at the feeling of your lips eagerly sucking his tongue into your mouth the same way you do with his cock, his hands roughly gripping at your hips in a weak attempt to keep himself sane.

Hyunjin looks surreal in this state, and you can't help but press your thighs together at the sight of him, trying desperately to ease the growing ache between them as moans leave his swollen, parted lips every time you suck his tongue further into your mouth.

The simple action doesn't go unnoticed by Hyunjin, and his right hand is quick to slip past the waistband of your leggings. He cups your clothed mound, feeling your thighs immediately close around his large hand. He groans at how warm and wet you are against his palm as he presses the pad of his middle finger against your entrance. He can feel the tight hole flutter with need against his fingertip, your body eagerly reacting to his every touch.

You release his tongue with a wet pop, your head falling back against the wall with a shaky breath as Hyunjin slips his hand into your panties to make direct contact with your core.

"Look at me, baby." Hyunjin softly demands, watching your eyes immediately snap to his.

He sinks his middle finger into your heat, watching your eyes flutter shut as he presses up against your walls. Your arousal coats his finger, dripping down to his palm as he quickly adds his ring finger, slowly pumping the digits into you as your mouth falls agape.

"You're so wet for me, baby." He breathes out, picking up the pace of his digits so you can hear how wet you are. "All this because of my haircut, angel?" He asks, curling his fingers inside you to watch your eyes roll back.

"Y-Yes, fuck-" you moan out, feeling your legs shake as your high grows closer with every thrust of Hyunjin's long, slender fingers.

Hyunjin watches in amusement as you struggle to keep your eyes on him; hooded eyes, heavy with lust, drinking in his appearance as you let out breathless pants. A smirk pulls at his lips every time your eyes roll back or screw shut at the spine-tingling pleasure that courses through you all because of him.

He always takes this time to commit each of your facial expressions to memory, drawing every crease, line, and curve deep within his mind to keep in his own mental treasury.

"Jinnie," you breathe out urgently, your voice quiet and broken as you grow dangerously close to your high.

Your eyes dart back and forth between his own, watching as his smirk fades into a soft smile that beams with fondness and admiration as he nods at you. "S'okay, angel," his voice is soft and soothing as he watches your eyes shake before they inevitably close in ecstasy, your first high of the night washing over you in waves.

You cling to whatever part of him your hands can grip first, your body feeling weak as you cum around Hyunjin's fingers. He holds you securely in place, keeping you close and safe until you come down from your high.

"You okay, baby?" He asks you once your eyes refocus and immediately fall back on him.

"Need more, please," you whine out, pulling Hyunjin into a desperate kiss as you paw at the waistband of his sweatpants.

Hyunjin smiles into the kiss, basking in each of your noises, words, and actions that all circle back to something as simple as a haircut. He feels his chest swell with love and pride, knowing that you'll always love him regardless of how he chooses to alter his appearance, while also losing his mind at how easy it is for him to reduce you to a needy mess that is more than willing to take everything he gives you.

"I got you, angel, it's okay." He pants against your lips between messy kisses, pulling your bare chest flush against his own.

You can't help the soft moan that slips past your lips at the bare contact, your arms circling around his muscular back to hold him against you as your nails lightly press into his skin.

Hyunjin is quick to lay you on your shared bed, hovering over you as he moves to kiss down your neck once more. When he feels your legs press tightly against his hips in a weak attempt to ease the pulsing between your thighs, he pulls away from you completely. He hooks his fingers into the waistband of your leggings and panties, pulling them off of you in one swift motion. He's quick to do the same with his sweatpants, leaving you both bare for the other's hungry eyes.

He slowly slides his hands along your inner thighs, pulling them apart until he can see your glistening core. His cock twitches at the sight as he pulls his bottom lip between his teeth, letting his head loll backwards as he lets out a sharp breath through his nose.

"How do you want me, baby?" He asks through clenched teeth, his tip an angry shade of red as precum beads at the slit.

"Don't care, as long as I can see you." You whine, watching him slowly lose his mind above you as he fights the urge to stuff every inch of his length deep inside your cunt.

He wastes no time in pulling you closer to him by the bend of your knees, pumping his length a few times before he hurriedly runs his tip through your sticky folds. You both let out whines at the contact, desperate and sensitive as you shift your hips upwards in an attempt to get him inside you. He takes the hint, impatience getting the best of him as he slides his tip down to your entrance. He can feel you pulsing against him, and without any more thought, he slowly starts pushing into you.

The stretch every time Hyunjin presses into you is never anything short of mind-numbing. All thoughts leave your brain, and your mouth hangs open as you take him inch by inch, feeling your walls part in invitation for his thick cock. He lets out choked moans above you as your eyes roll back, your walls squeezing every inch of him until he finally bottoms out. He holds as still as he can, waiting for your tight cunt to release its vice grip around him enough for him to move. Short, labored breaths slip past both your lips, you lock eyes with Hyunjin, pulling him closer until his forehead rests against yours.

"I love you, and I love the way you love me." Hyunjin whispers out to you, pressing a soft kiss to your lips to punctuate his confession.

"I love you, too," you whisper back, "I always will."

Hyunjin's lips move slow against yours, in perfect sync with his hips as he pulls out of you until just his tip is nestled between your slick walls. He slowly thrusts back into you, letting you feel all of him as you moan into his mouth. He keeps this pace, slowly thrusting into you as your tongues collide in messy, love-filled kisses.

He grips at one of your thighs, guiding it to wrap around his waist as you follow suit with the other, wrapping both your legs around his waist to pull him closer. Even with every part of Hyunjin pressed against you or inside you, you still feel like you need more of him, like no amount of physical contact is enough to satiate the deep-rooted need you have for him.

You don't know what makes this look so wildly different from the rest, other than the obvious length, but it's making your brain turn to mush. You want all of him at once, in a way that can only be described as carnal. You feel your brain grow increasingly fuzzy with every deep thrust and needy kiss, coherent thoughts fading into distant babbles as Hyunjin increases his pace only slightly. Your body rocks with every thrust, your legs around Hyunjin keeping you in place as Hyunjin palms at your soft tits.

You whine into his mouth, the pleasure overwhelming your ability to think as his bare cock drags deliciously against your velvety walls. You feel Hyunjin's thumb rest firmly against your clit, rubbing fast, calculated circles against the bud as you struggle to kiss him back. Hyunjin takes this opportunity to nip at your collarbones, letting red marks bloom across your skin to serve as a reminder of this moment later.

You feel the knot in the pit of your stomach tightening rapidly, your moans becoming more frequent and higher in pitch as you grow closer to your high. When Hyunjin angles his hips to hit that little gummy spot deep within your walls, the knot unravels. Your back arches off the bed, your chest pressing further into Hyunjin's as your breath gets caught in your throat. You're completely silent as you shake against Hyunjin, every noise and potential breath captured in a pleasure prison as your hands flail around desperately before you choke out a scream. Hyunjin rides you through your high, his thumb still firm on your clit as his thrusts slow to shallow pumps.

"I've got you, baby, there you go." Hyunjin softly coos, watching you blink up at him before he slowly starts picking up his pace again.

He buries his face into the crook of your neck as your arms wrap around his back. Each of his thrusts still presses right against that sensitive spot, and you gasp as your body jolts in his hold.

"I know, angel, I'm sorry." He breathes out, his voice shaking with need as he thrusts into you with more force. "Just a little more for me."

You desperately cling to Hyunjin as need sets into his movements, his pace increasing and his thrusts forceful as he chases his high. The sound of his hips connecting with yours echoes in your ears, making your head spin as you moan out his name in breathy pleas.

"So good for me, baby," he groans out, feeling your walls tightly clench around him. "Taking all of me so well."

Hyunjin's thrusts grow erratic, his pace unrelenting as he drills into you so hard it almost hurts. His high quickly approaches as he listens to your incoherent babbles, your voice high-pitched and breathy, each word coming out in broken syllables as you thrash against him. He knows you're close again, he can feel it in the way your walls pulse around him, eagerly trying to milk him dry. He pushes his hips flush against yours, pressing his cock as deep as it'll go as he finally cums inside you.

The moans that he lets out against your heated skin as he stuffs you full of every drop of his cum has your third orgasm of the night hitting you like a ton of bricks. High-pitched screams, a messy string of swears, and Hyunjin's name spill endlessly past your lips as you shake against the broad expanse of his form, clawing at his back as choked moans leave his pillowy lips. Each of his sounds only adds to the cloudiness in your mind as your vision blurs, white hot pleasure setting a fire within each of your nerves as you cream around Hyunjin's cock.

You can feel Hyunjin's thighs shaking against the back of your own, and you mindlessly pull him to lay on top of you. Even in his dazed state, Hyunjin is quick to roll onto his side, taking you with him as your shared heavy pants fill the silence of the room. Neither of you say anything or dare to move for a while, choosing to bask in the afterglow of your orgasms until your heartbeats and breathing steady.

Hyunjin sits up just enough to lean over you, pressing his lips to yours in a soft kiss before he pulls away from you with a smile.

"You really like my hair, huh, angel?" He asks you with a knowing smirk, watching as your eyes glaze over with need as you stare at his beautiful bare face.

"Mhmm," you nod up at him, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth as you pull him down to you with your gentle grip on the back of his neck. "I can't get enough of you, Jinnie."

He presses a quick kiss to your lips, much to your dissatisfaction, before he pulls away to take in your features. He gently tucks your hair behind your ear, his breath getting caught in his throat when he feels you clench around him. Through mutual sensitivity, his hips move on their own accord, shallowly thrusting his previous release deeper inside you as you nuzzle further into his chest; soaking up his warmth as he holds you close.

Nothing could've prepared you for Hyunjin's buzzcut, or the never-ending insatiable need for the gorgeous man that came with it, but when you reassure your love for him in ways like this, he can never find it in him to complain.

☆ Main Masterlist

☆ Hwang Hyunjin Masterlist

☆ Author's Note

Hwang Hyunjin, the man you are😣

This took me five entire days to write because he jumbled my thoughts so bad with this look (😩😫), I couldn't articulate my thoughts, feelings, and emotions into a work, but I finally managed and now here it is.

Also, little note about the title of this work: if you've ever felt a buzzcut (of that length in particular), you know that shit is soft as silk, and if you haven't, now you know🫶🏻

I still obsessively think about him and how goddamn fine he is with this buzzcut for many hours every single day. What has he DONE to me😣😵‍💫

☆ Taglist

@kpophubb @whatudowhennooneseesyou @skzgallll @ka0ila @hanji-coffee @pixie-felix

Let me know if you would like to be added to the taglist !

☆ Extras

©2021 - 2025 all rights are reserved to @moonlit-stay Stealing, Reposting, Copying, Translating, Plagiarizing, and Modifying any and all of my work is strictly prohibited.

Released: January 8th, 2025

[youngheejay]

Burden of the Vow

Jay x fem!reader [married] Synopsis: Every marriage has its ups and downs. But will they be able to protect their marriage from this burden?

Contains: heavy angst (beware), happy ending, smut, fluff

It all happened so quickly.

It sounds so cliche but that’s how it was.

Quickly, in a blink of an eye.

It could’ve been prevented. Of course. You should’ve been more careful.

“Mrs. Park?”

Your vision focused on your doctor.

“I asked you if you know when your husband is coming.”

“I-“ your voice cracked, the lump in your throat was too big, you weren’t able to speak. You just shook your head.

“I’m going to ask you one more time.” She looked at you with soft eyes as she empathetically rubbed your arm, “are you sure you want to wait for your husband?”

You nodded.

“And you’re aware that waiting will risk the chance of complications? The longer we wait the higher the chance that you’ll get an infection. It can cause serious complications and can even lead to your death.”

You nodded again.

The doctor sighed.

“I will have to ask you to sign this paper. That you’re agreeing to the risks and are willingly waiting.”

You didn’t even read the paper that you signed. You didn’t notice when the doctor left the room. You just stared at the clock.

10:42 am.

It happened at 9:26 am. One hour and 16 minutes had passed.

So much had happened.

“Miss…” Heiran, the lifelong housekeeper who Jay grew up with—or who raised Jay, as he would say—entered the room.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t reach him.” She said timidly, as if she was feeling guilty.

You just nodded. He always muted his phone when he’s in important meetings. And the meeting today was the most important one in his life. Of course you had to ruin it for him.

“Sunghoon,” you rasped weakly. But then you quickly shook your head. “No. We can just wait. The meeting is too important,” you whispered faintly.

Heiran furrowed her wrinkly eyebrows, “Ma’am.” But you just shook your head and turned in the bed, your back facing her and the door where she was standing at.

Heiran left the room with a heavy heart, with shaky hands she searched for Sunghoon’s number. Hopefully he’ll pick up the phone.

The bell ringed but after a while it reached the mailbox. She tried again. Again the mailbox. Then again. Again, mailbox.

She sat on the chair as she held her phone tightly in her hands.

“What happened?” Her husband asked panicked, panting from old age as he sat beside her.

“Honey!” She cried as she threw herself on her husband. Her husband consoled her, “shh… everything’s alright…”

“Everything happened so quickly.” She hiccuped, “it’s my fault. She even told me she was feeling off yesterday night. I told her she’s worrying too much.” Her shoulders shook in her husband’s embrace.

“It’s okey… it’s okey… it’s not your fault. It’s nobody’s fault,” his raspy voice soothed her.

Suddenly, the phone on her lap began to vibrate. She quickly looked at the caller—Sunghoon.

“Do you want me to…?” Her husband offered. But she shook her head, she needed to be brave. For Jay. For you.

“Ma?” Sunghoon spoke as soon as she took the call. “Is everything alright? Why did you call me so many times?” Worry already laced in his voice even though he didn’t know anything yet.

The only thing he could hear was a hiccup through the phone.

“Sunghoon- Sunghoon-ie” she sobbed.

“Ma? What’s wrong? Is everything alright?? Why are you crying? Are you hurt?” His panicked voice echoed in her ear. She shook her head. “No.” She sobbed.

“What’s wrong?” He repeated desperately, his heart hurting hearing the woman who raised him cry.

“Y/n- y/n, she-“ she couldn’t go on as a heartbreaking wail escaped her throat.

“What’s with y/n? Is she hurt? Ma, please.” He begged her to tell her what was wrong.

“Y/n- she- her baby-“ she sobbed, unable to form a coherent sentence.

“Her baby?? Is she okey? Is she giving birth?” He was too clueless to think about anything negative.

Heiran always loved Sunghoon’s innocence and cluelessness. But in that moment she wished he would’ve understood without her pronouncing it.

“No, Sunghoonie-“ she hiccuped, “her baby- her baby died.”

He fell back on the chair he was previously sitting on. He whispered a small, “what?”

She wailed loudly.

His phone slipped onto the table with a loud thud.

He messily grabbed his head, his heart clenching in pain, “what?” he repeated.

“What happened?” He asked in disbelief as he clicked on the loudspeaker with a shaky hand.

“Her- her placenta partially separated from her uterus. It happened not even two hours ago when she said she was in- p-pain. When we arrived at the hospital the doctor announced the baby’s death.”

Sunghoon closed his eyes painfully. He didn’t want to imagine what you’re going through right now.

“I- I can’t reach Jay. Sunghoonie- please tell Jay. You have to tell him. Before his family tells him.” He immediately understood what she meant.

“Do they already know?”

“No- I’ve been wanting to tell him first. But he’s not picking up his phone.”

“Okey.” He nodded, “I know where he is.” He looked at his watch briefly. “His meeting is here, in the same hotel where we’re staying, Ma.” He hurried to the hotel door.

“Tell him quickly. They will find out and if they find out-“

“I know, Ma.”

“She’s- she’s- y/n- she is in pain. They gave her medicine but she’s- she’s in a shocked state. She needs Jay. You need to come quickly. She’s waiting for him,“ she hiccuped.

“Okey. We’ll come quickly.” His voice cracked but he didn’t have any time. He needed to hurry up.

Hastily, he went to the elevator of the 5-star hotel. Where was his meeting again?

He rushed to press the button, hoping he remembered it correctly.

When he stepped outside the elevator he was met with several businessmen. His meeting had ended. Sunghoon pushed past the people and found the meeting room.

There he was. Politely shaking hands with a man and laughing at his joke.

He doesn’t know it yet.

“Jongseong,” he called for him. Jay raised his eyebrows when he heard his name, turning his head to Sunghoon. His face twisted in confusion, his eyebrows furrowed, expressing: what the hell are you doing here? I’m busy, bro.

But when Sunghoon shook his head, standing with a distant away, eyes shaky, Jay had a bad feeling. He bid his farewell to his new business partner, excusing himself. The meeting room now left empty, except for the two friends.

“What are you doing here, Hoon? I’m busy. Don’t you have your online meeting-?” Jay began as soon as he reached Sunghoon’s earshot.

Sunghoon cut him off, “did you check your phone?”

“Not yet, why are you-“

“Jay.” Sunghoon cut him off yet again.

He looked at him with pity in his eyes. How do I tell him?

Jay furrowed his eyebrows, sensing Sunghoon’s seriousness.

“What’s wrong?” He asked cautiously.

When Sunghoon’s eyes filled with tears Jay quickly realised there must be something wrong. His mind played different scenarios.

He shook his head in denial, “is it the baby?”

When Sunghoon didn’t answer him, his tears now pouring down his face, Jay somehow understood.

It felt as if the floor began to shake. The air was suctioned out from his lungs. He collapsed on the floor, kneeling as his breath cut short. Sunghoon quickly went to him, holding him in a tight embrace. Jay’s shoulders began to shake, “tell me I’m wrong, Sunghoon.” His voice shaky.

Sunghoon shook his head, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” His tears fell on Jay’s shoulder.

Jay cried out loud. Sunghoon had never heard him like this before. His wails were ripping his heart apart.

Then everything went on in a blur.

“No. No. No.” he shook his head in denial, his hands ripped at his hair, tears falling on the ground.

“We have to go to the airport,” Sunghoon told him through tears. Jay continued to cry, his head continued to shake.

“Jay.” Sunghoon called him as sternly as possible. But it was just a weak attempt.

“You have to go to y/n now. Alright? She’s waiting for you.” He gripped his shoulder but he wasn’t listening. Sunghoon stood up from the ground, grabbing his friend’s arm, “come on, Jay. We can’t lose time.” He tried to sound stern. He tried to be strong for his friend. But his own tears continued to pour down his face.

He held onto him with a firm grip but Jay weakly shook his head. “No, no, no,” he sobbed. He didn’t have the strength.

“My baby…” he whimpered.

And that’s when Sunghoon lost it. Jay sobbed and wailed as he held onto Sunghoon’s arms, shaking his head over and over again.

“No, no, no. My baby,” he repeated, his chests heaving with every breath. The sound of his wails echoed through the room, raw and ragged.

Sunghoon patted his back, his own tears never stopping, “we have to go home now, okey?” He wiped his face as he tried his best to be strong for Jay.

The aching pain in your heart woke you up from your dream. Your closed eyes filled with tears. A single teardrop rolled down your temple, landing on your husband’s arm.

You slowly opened your eyes. The nightmare felt so real. You let out a small whimper. The tightness in your throat made it throb painfully.

Jay stirred slightly in his sleep, his breath heavy and deep against the back of your head. More droplets of tears wetted his arm underneath your head—a makeshift pillow ever since your usual pillow became uncomfortable and no other were suitable, except for his arm for some unexplainable reason.

You quickly put your hand on your swollen belly, accidentally grazing Jay’s other arm which was loosely wrapped around your hip, his hand dangling over your pregnant belly.

Your heart raced as you waited. Waited for any movements, any sign of your baby being alive. No, it can’t be. No. Your body began to shake. My baby. Jay’s arm was now completely wet with your tears.

Then. Before your breathing could get out of control, you felt a faint push against your palm, which was right under Jay’s loose hand. It was so light, any other person would’ve missed it. Except for a concerned mother.

The baby kicked only once and so faintly, as if to say: “Mommy don’t worry, I’m okey.”

You closed your eyes, relief washing over your whole body.

You rubbed the spot on your round stomach, whispered softly yet still shaken from the nightmare, “it’s okey, baby. Mommy just had a dream. Go back to sleep.”

You closed your eyes, not to sleep but to calm your nerves and racing heart down.

After a few moments, you couldn’t help but cry again. The nightmare had scared you so much. You tried to not make any noises, your hand clasped your mouth as your shoulders began to shake lightly against your husband’s chest.

The night went on and the only thing that filled the dark room were your faint whimpers alongside Jay’s soft snores.

You turned around in your husband’s embrace, the pain too unbearable. You needed his comfort right now.

“Jjongie,” you croaked in a whisper. When he didn’t react, you put your head closer to him, cheek pressing against his naked chest as you listened to his rhythmic heartbeat. “Jay,” you repeated desperately. His eyes fluttered opened, “babe?” he rasped tiredly.

That was all it took for you to sob loudly.

His eyebrows furrowed, arms tightened around you immediately in a protective manner. “What’s wrong?” He didn’t register what was going on, his brain fogged with sleep. The only thing that he noticed was your shaking figure.

Your hand clutched onto his bare chest—he always had the habit of sleeping in boxers only—nails digging into it as you continued to cry. “Babe, what’s wrong? Are you hurt? Is the baby hurting you?” He bombarded you with questions, his concern grew bigger and bigger. He tried to look at your face but you only buried your face into his chest in response, shaking your head. His hands glided over your body, looking for any injuries, caressing your stomach. When he couldn’t find anything he grasped your cheek and forced you to look at him. “Baby, why are you crying?” His eyes wide, worried.

“Is it the baby?”

You shook your head, your cries didn’t seem to stop. Jay pulled you into his chest, hand caressing your head as he tried to calm you down, “shh…” he hushed quietly, “I’m here. I’m here. Whatever it is,” he kissed your forehead gently, “I’m here.”

“It’s okey… I’m here, baby…” he patted your back, his heart clenching, wondering what made his wife so sad. When you finally calmed down, he tried again: “what made my poor wife cry so much?” He cooed softly. You hiccuped, pouting: “I- I had a dream.” Your voice was raspy, barely above a whisper. He hummed, his hand now holding your cheek to wipe away the tears. “Aww… my baby had a nightmare? Is that it?” He cooed, you nodded in reply. “What did you dream, darling?”

You looked up to him, misty eyes shaking as your lips turned downwards. He nodded, encouraging you to speak further.

“I- I dreamed that the baby died.” You bursted in tears as you hid your face in his neck again.

His face fell. He was lost at words, his own heart sank at the mere thought. The crease between his eyes deepened as he tried to hush you once more, now unsure himself.

“Love…”

“I-“ his voice cracked. His eyes blinked rapidly to suppress his tears. You couldn’t see him cry, he knew you would get more upset if you saw him cry. “It’s okey. It was just a dream,” he tried anew.

“But it felt so real,” you sniffled, “in the- in the dream you were somewhere else. And the baby died while you were away. In my belly. I was all alone. I can’t remember more but it felt so real, Jay.”

“Shh… it’s okey baby,” he rocked you in his arms as you shook in his embrace. “Baby, look at me,” he spoke softly, “hm?” He murmured softly.

With red puffed eyes you peeked at him. He kissed your reddish nose, his hand clasped yours which had been digging into his skin. He cautiously put your hand on his cheek, firmly holding onto it. The soothing tone of his voice echoed through the nightlife: “Tell me my love: am I here with you?” You bit your lip as you nodded apprehensively.

He put your hand on your baby bump, “is the baby here with us—with you?” You nodded again, this time firmly and swiftly. As if any other option would not be acceptable.

“If I’m here, and the baby’s here, then what do you have to worry about?” He kissed your forehead tenderly, your eyes closing automatically as his kiss melted the tension and worries away in you. “Nothing. Alright?”

“Okey?” He rubbed your baby belly to calm you down. And maybe to check for himself that the baby was fine.

“The baby is fine.” He murmured against your forehead, “right?” his voice small, you didn’t catch his uncertain undertone. You nodded your head softly, “the baby talked to me.”

“Yeah? What did he say?” He pushed a strand of hair behind your ear.

“He kicked me and told me he was fine, that I shouldn’t worry.” A soft breath escaped Jay’s lips as relief washed over him. He laughed softly, “see? Even the baby thinks you’re worrying too much.”

You smiled softly, now a little shy, “yeah… maybe I do.”

“But that’s what good mommas do, right?” He pressed a kiss to your temple, your heart fluttered at his compliment. “Mhm,” you hummed. He is right, I’m gonna be a good mommy. “And good daddies take care of worried mommies,” you whispered lovingly, kissing his chest. He pulled you closer, a faint smile spread across his face.

Suddenly he moved down to meet your stomach. Your top had already been ridden up, and he pushed it higher to reveal your swollen belly completely.

“Hi, baby.” He whispered softly against it, his hand caressing it in soft motions, “mommy is a little scaredy-cat, isn’t she?” You slapped his shoulder, “hey!” You looked at him with an angry frown. He laughed teasingly, “but it’s okey. That’s why she has me. I protect her from everything that she’s afraid of.” He kissed your stomach, “and when you grow up into a strong healthy man it will also be your responsibility to take care of your mommy, alright?” He waited a few seconds as if he waited for a response.

“Na, na, na, young man. Do not argue with me.” He spoke sternly. You laughed out loud, “are you scolding our unborn child?” His eyes glistened as a goofy grin spread across his face, “gotta teach them young who’s the boss.”

He turned his attention to your baby again. “Hey… why are you always so quiet when I’m the one talking to you...?” He pouted softly. “You always talk to mommy but not with daddy.” He rubbed his nose underneath your bellybutton. “Maybe because I don’t scold him when he didn’t do anything wrong?” You ruffled his hair.

“I’m sorry baby. Daddy didn’t mean it like that.” He pushed the bridge of his nose into your stomach, “hm? I will give you all the toys in the world but don’t be angry with me. Please?”

The baby kicked right at his nose. Hard. “Ouch!” He hissed as he held onto his nose, “he kicked me!”

“Yeah I felt that too,” you groaned at the pain, “he never kicked this hard before.”

He looked at your belly with a fake frown, “Now your appa is real mad. Go to your room!”

Your laughter echoed through the bedroom. “I always wanted to say that,” he grinned at you sheepishly. He peppered your stomach with tiny kisses.

He then sighed softly as he snuggled with your belly: “gosh, I can’t wait until he’s here.”

Enjoying the moment and cuddling closer, his eyes fluttered shut.

A voice pulled Jay out of his thoughts. He snapped his eyes open. He had been drifting through a memory.

“Jay…” Sunghoon began cautiously as they were sitting at the gate, waiting for their departure. Sunghoon just got off the phone with Heiran, his face expressed more worry.

“Heiran said… y/n will have to deliver the baby naturally…”

“what?”

“The doctors said that’s the normal procedure when- when you’re in a situation like that.”

Jay rubbed his face, “how is that even possible when she’s not even going into labour?”

“They will give her a medicine to induce the labour…” Jay nodded, his head understood but his heart felt heavy.

“Heiran said she’s refusing to do it until you are there. The doctors said she’s- she’s risking a serious infection and it could cause serious complications. The longer she waits the more likely complications will occur and will cause serious damage. She-“ he pause for a moment, “she could die but she’s stubborn. She wants to wait for you.”

Jay’s heart hurt. He couldn’t imagine it.

“You should call her. Tell her she should do it without you because,” he glanced at his watch, “the earliest we’ll be there is in 6 hours.”

Jay nodded absentmindedly. His vision focused on the floor. His mind racing. His heart burning with sorrow.

Sunghoon dialed Heiran’s number again.

Jay wasn’t listening to their conversation until Sunghoon gave him his phone, “it’s her.”

Jay just nodded, his throat tightening. He closed his eyes as he took the phone. He needed to be strong for her. She’s the one in pain not me.

“Y/n…” he murmured softly yet raspy.

Silence. He didn’t hear anything.

But then, there was a small whimper.

“Y/n…” he repeated as the tears rolled down on their own. “I’m coming, okey? I’m coming as fast as possible.”

You began to sob.

“Y/n, baby, listen to me. You need to be strong right now, okey? You have to hold on. Until I’m there, okey?”

Your sobs got louder and louder.

“It’s okey, baby, it’s okey…” he mumbled gently. God, he just wanted to hold you. Be there for you.

“I’m coming, alright? I’ll be there quickly.”

“Jay-“ you choked, voice rough and broken.

His world began to spin.

He leaned forward in his seat, his shaky arms supporting him on his thighs.

“Hm~” he hummed, broken, trying to hold it together for you.

“Yes, baby,” he tried again when he couldn’t hear you respond.

He continued when you didn’t say anything: “Baby, don’t worry, I’m coming-“

“I’m sorry.” You choked, cutting him off.

He pressed his eyes shut as his tears poured down his face. “No baby. Don’t say that.” He rasped in a shaky tone.

“it’s my fau-“

“No.” He spoke sternly, his tone didn’t allow any argument.

“It’s not your fault. And I don’t wanna hear it. I’m not allowing you to think that. Got it?”

You just whimpered in response.

“I love you so much. We’ll go through this together alright?”

You just continued to cry. Ripping his heart into pieces.

“Baby… listen to me. I’ll be there in 6 hours, okey?”

You hummed.

“But that’s too long. You have to go into labour without me, okey?”

“No.” You shook your head, face scrunched in fear and sorrow.

“I know, baby, I know. It’s scary, isn’t it?”

You just nodded your head, your throat hurt too much to answer. “I know you’re afraid, but baby, listen. I- can’t lose you too. I can’t come home and be told that my wife didn’t make it. I-“ he let out a choked sob, his tears fell on his trousers, “I can’t lose you, too.” He shook his head, refusing to think about it.

“Please baby. I’m begging you.”

“I’m tired.” You whimpered quietly.

Jay opened his mouth to argue, to tell you to not be stubborn for once, to listen to him, to just do what’s good for you. But something in him told him to just accept your wish. You knew the best what you needed—what your body could endure.

“Okey,” he yielded softly. “I promise I’ll be there as quickly as possible. Try to rest a little, alright baby?”

“I love you so much. You’re the bravest woman on this earth. I will call you again before we take off alright? Until then, rest.”

You only hummed in response.

“Can you please pass the phone to Heiran, baby?”

“Jongseong-ah,” Heiran’s aged, rough voice echoed through the phone.

“Can you make sure y/n doesn’t hear us?”

After a while of rustling, he heard her again: “yes?”

“Ma…” his eyes brimmed with tears. “What happened?”

“She-she woke up in pain and she told me the baby was not moving.” Jay felt as if he forgot how to breathe. He should’ve been there.

“I- I told her that happens sometimes but she looked so scared and her pain worsened. And then she started to bleed. I called the ambulance—it all happened so quickly. When we arrived here the doctor announced the baby’s death. They said her placenta partially loosened from her uterus and the baby didn’t get any oxygen over night.” She hiccuped.

He closed his eyes as he tried to process everything.

Sunghoon rubbed Jay’s back.

“The doctor said that this can happen suddenly and can’t be predicted,” she added with a shaky voice.

The guilt of not being there was taking over his mind.

“They told her that she has to deliver the baby naturally because it’s the safest option. Since y/n is not bleeding anymore and her condition is not too unstable a c-section would be unnecessary. Her-her labour also has started but it’s too mild. She said it’s just throbbing sometimes,” she took a deep breath, “they wanted to give her medicine to induce it more. The doctor said she had to do it now otherwise she’ll get an infection. But y/n said she doesn’t want to do it without you. She seems to be in shock.”

"Okey..." he whispered, voice raspy. He didn't know what to respond. The new information made him realise that it was his fault.

During the whole flight his head hung low. He was deep in thought and sorrow.

I should've stayed. I should've taken care of her.

He failed to protect you. If he just didn’t leave.

“Do you have to leave?” You pouted as you sat on your bed, watching Jay pack his suitcase for the business trip.

“Baby…” he sighed softly, “we already talked about this.” He kissed your forehead as he walked past you to grab his laptop from the nightstand.

“No. You talked, I listened and cried," you snapped at him, annoyed, "I don’t want you to go.” You stated firmly.

“It’s only going to be for 5 days. I’ll be back before you’ll know it.” You didn’t seem to be convinced as you walked up to him, hugging him from the side, your big, round belly getting in the way. “But I don’t want to be alone.” You frowned.

“That’s why I asked Heiran to come and take care of you.” He wrapped his arms around your shoulder as he kissed your head.

You pulled away, your frustration couldn't be hidden anymore, “but I don’t want anyone else to take care of me! I want you to be here! What if something happens and you're not here?!”

He shut his eyes as he tried to calm down, not wanting to fight with his pregnant wife, “nothing will happen, baby. It’s only for 5 days. You know I have to go.”

“You don’t have to! You’re literally choosing your business over me! Your wife who's carrying your child! I can’t believe I married a greedy man!”

He furrowed his eyebrows, his face expressed his hurt feelings, “that’s not true, y/n. The meetings were set before you were even pregnant. I already cancelled the ones that I could cancel and shortened the trip by two weeks. I’m sorry to leave you but I promise it’ll be quick.”

“Whatever,” you rolled your eyes, trying not to show him that you were about to cry as you left the bedroom.

“Where are you going?”

“To the guest bedroom. I don’t wanna sleep next to you.” You slammed the door.

You woke up to Jay softly caressing his fingertips over your cheekbone, "good morning, angel," he whispered softly to not startle you.

“I’m leaving for the flight,” he was crouched down in front of your bed.

You turned around, giving him the cold shoulder.

“Baby… please, I can’t leave while my wife is angry with me."

Good, then I'll stay angry so he won't leave.

He put his warm hand on your shoulder, "please, princess. You're making me sad."

"And you're making me sad, too." You mumbled, he could barely hear it.

You felt him lie behind you, one arm wrapping gently around your waist while the other slipped under your neck, curling over your shoulder to rest firmly on your upper arm, pulling you closer. His hand on your belly was warm and soft, his thumb tracing small circles on the skin where your top had ridden up.

"I couldn't sleep without my babies." He nuzzled his face into your neck.

"Good." You uttered coldly.

He smiled softly, "my girl woke up feisty today," you felt his lips move against the shell of your ear, "I like that," he murmured seductively. Your pussy throbbed at his deep, hushed voice. You ignored it as you tried to push his arms away. Your efforts were useless as your sleepy and pregnant state made you way weaker than before—not that you had any chance against him before pregnancy.

The hand on your stomach wandered lower, right under your bellybutton where he teased and aroused you by caressing your skin softly. But his touch was way too far away to actually give you any form of pleasure. "Jay..." you whined, your hips wiggling in annoyance.

"Yes, baby?" His voice sent shivers down your spine as he nibbled at your earlobe. His hand which was on your shoulder grabbed one of your tits, squeezing it, slipping your top under it so he could touch and play with it properly. You sighed at the feeling, "feels so good..." You closed your eyes to enjoy the spark pulsing in your blood. Suddenly his other hand slipped under your shorts, brushing lightly over your panties. Your hand grabbed his forearm, "please... Jay..." you sighed, completely wet and aroused. Your pussy throbbed so hard, it was beginning to eat you alive.

"But I thought you were mad at me?" He made a show of pulling his hand out of your shorts. Your nails digged into his arm, "no! I'm not mad," you frowned. Your face turned to him as you pleaded at him, looking all cute and sexy at the same time, "please?". He wanted to devour you right at the spot.

"You know I can't resist my sexy wife," he kissed you harsh, tongue slipping into your mouth as you moaned into the kiss. His hand slipped under your underwear, his fingers gliding over your wet, slick pussy, "Jay~" you moaned. "Put your leg over mine," he rasped into the hot kiss. You tried to do as he told you but struggled due to your big belly. When he noticed, his slick-wet hand slipped out of your panties and helped your leg to adjust over his, leaving a trail of your juices on your skin. "Are you comfortable like this?" You impatiently nodded your head, "touch me, Jay."

“So impatient…” he muttered although he obeyed you immediately. His hand went once again underneath your panties, massaging your pussy softly and faintly. You whimpered, "more..."

"Yeah? My sweet little wife wants more?" You nodded pathetically, "please, Jay. Want you inside me." His middle finger slowly slipped inside you, testing the waters as he circled it inside you to stretch you out. Then his ring finger slipped inside, both of his fingers curling right into you as they found the spongy spot. "Jay!" You moaned, "it feels so good!" He continued to pump his fingers in and out, pushing and circling them inside you as the wet, splashing sounds of your pussy filled the room. "Oh my god... I'm gonna cum." You sighed, sensitive from pregnancy. You were in heaven. His fingers made you forget why you were even mad at him. "W-wait." You pushed at Jay's arm slightly. He immediately halted his actions, eyes widened in panic, "what? Did I hurt you? Do you want to stop?"

"No... it's just I know I will be too exhausted for a second round. Wan' your cum inside of me," you panted, your walls continued to pulse around his fingers on their own.

"It's okey baby. I don't have to cum," he kissed your shoulder, "I will be fine, just want to pleasure my wife."

"No," you whined, "I want you. Please. Wanna be close to you before you leave." You could hear him debate internally. You bit your lips, your arousal dazed your mind, "honey. The doctor said it's fine. Now, put your dick inside me before I crash out."

"Okey, okey," he carefully pulled his fingers out of you and slipped you out of your panties and shorts in one go. He unwrapped his arm around you in order to take off his slacks and boxers. You had turned around slightly, your eyebrows furrowed at the observation you made, "when are you leaving? You're already dressed." You couldn't stop your pout as you watched him take off his dress-shirt, too. "I'm leaving in an hour," he pecked your pouty lips as he hovered over you, arms supporting himself on either sides of your head. His hard dick pressing onto the side of your ass as you were still laying sideways, "come on, baby, don't be mad anymore, hm?"

Your pout deepened, eyes glistening with tears, "I'll miss you."

His heart melted, "I'll miss you, too." He kissed you passionatly as his hand reached for your leg to lift it up. He was settled between your legs, one leg rested comfortably on the mattress, angled to make room for him, as he lifted the other into the air, holding it tightly so it wouldn't slip. "Relax, baby, I'm holding you." He whispered against your lips. You trusted him instantly and relaxed your muscles. He grabbed his hard, throbbing dick into his hand, pumping it a few times, and guided the tip into your entrance. Instinctively, you tried to turn on your back in order to spread your legs further, but he put the hand that was holding his dick on your shoulder to stop you from moving. "Don't get on your back, baby."

"Oh right," you remembered you weren't allowed to lay on your back because of the baby. He kissed your cheek, waiting for you to adjust on your side, "comfy?" he asked as he pushed your hair out of your face. You nodded as you reached for Jay's hand that was settled infront of your face on the pillow.

He slowly pushed into you. You sighed. His thick firm cock filled you up so good. You felt so content having him inside you.

“Fuck, why are you still so tight baby,” he grunted as he tried not to push his whole length in. “Put a whole baby inside you and your cunt is still swallowing me in.” His hand let go of your leg, only to curl it in his arm, adjusting it properly as he started to roll his hip into you. You eyes fluttered, “oh my god, Jay…”

“Yeah? Feels good baby?”

“Hmm,” you whimpered. “Deeper,” you pleaded.

His cock went deeper in you, hitting your sweet spot repeatedly, “ah!” You moaned at the pleasure. “Fuck,” he rasped as you clenched around you. Your arm reached for Jay, he understood immediately as he leaned down, his abs slightly grazed your swollen belly as he nestled his face into your neck. “Fuck baby, stop clenching around me.” He groaned as he tried to hold himself back to pound into you aggressively. You whimpered in response, “it feels so good, can’t help it.”

With only a few more thrusts your walls tightened around him hard as you reached your high. “Jay!” You screamed, shaking, ecstasy rushing through your blood.

He cursed under his breath, “fuck-“ as he continued to thrust into you. You whimpered as you pushed at his shoulder, “too much- Jay-” you choked.

He lifted his head to press a hot kiss on your lips, trying to distract you, “you got this baby. Just a little more. You’re a good girl, hm? Can take it. Be my good little wife and take it.” His breath cut short as he tried to resist the urge to go crazy with you. He lost his rhythm as he got closer. “Fuck-“ he groaned into your neck as he finally came inside you, “fuck, baby. You feel so good.” He kissed your skin, biting it lightly as his body shook from his high, “I love you so much.” He kissed you as he pulled his cock out of you, careful not to hurt you. You scrunched your face at the feeling, your hand tightening its grip on his hand.

You smiled at him lazily, sleep taking over your body, “love you too, jjongie.”

“Not mad anymore?” He smiled at you sheepishly. You shook your head, lips touching close to his, “but I will still miss you, jjongie.” Nuzzling his nose against yours, he whispered with a melted heart: “will miss you too, baby.” He laid beside you to cuddle with you, pulling your head to his chest and caressing it lovingly. His other hand went to your stomach which was snuggled close to his own stomach, patting it in a soft rhythm.

After a while, when he got up to clean you and take a—yet again—quick shower, he halted in his motion. There you laid in the bed, looking so soft and warm like an angel. Your swollen belly gave you a delicate look. He felt as if he was falling in love with you all over again. The sight of you being pregnant with his child, exhausted in the after glow of making love together caused warmth to blossom in his chest—making him all tender and fuzzy. He was the luckiest man on earth.

“I will be back very soon, okey?” He whispered quietly, not wanting to disturb your half asleep state. You hummed tiredly. He pressed a tender kiss, both on your forehead and baby bump as he left the room, gently shutting the door.

Gosh, he already couldn’t wait to be reunited with his wife and his baby.

Regret flooded Jay’s body. With a violent bump he smashed his head against the airplane window.

Sunghoon looked at him concerned. Unsure what to say.

Jay knocked his head repeatedly. Fuck.

If I had never left them this would have never had happened.

—————————————————————————

Yeah I lied here no happy ending. Maybe in Part 2? Comment and share your thoughts and feelings ❣️

Wanna read my other stuff? Here’s my masterlist

Comments, thoughts, feedback, requests, reblogs are more than welcome 🙏🏼 I need it to be motivated to write more. so please, if you wanna read more tell me what you felt/thought about this fic (and of course my other fics if you read them)

[anto-pops]

Possessive Touch - Sebastian Sallow x Female!Reader

Summary: Sebastian has never been the sharing sort. He was happy to loan people notes or quills, maybe even the occasional book from the Restricted Section. But not you. Never you. 

Alternatively summarized as Sebastian acting incredibly possessive after watching you hug someone else and then staking his claim on you the only way he can.

Word Count: 3.4k

Warnings: 18+, aged up characters, explicit sexual content, possessive behavior, rough sex, yandere!Sebastian

Locked away in my drafts for months and unearthed by this ask I received. Everyone say thank you anon

Full fic can also be found here on Ao3 (with better tags as usual)

There were a number of words you could use to describe Sebastian Sallow. He was smart, loyal, and daring, to name a few. As brave as any Gryffindor and as insightful as any Ravenclaw, he had many positive attributes that you found to be remarkable. But every coin had two sides, and as much as you admired his more positive attributes, he could also be equally callous, brash, and vindictive when circumstances called for it. His moods fluctuated frequently and gave you whiplash half the time, because more often than not– despite it being accidental– you had a tendency to be the root cause of his emotional turbulence. 

You hadn’t meant for your conversation with Ominis to last for so long, much less for it to cut into your allotted study time with your boyfriend. The Gaunt scion had, in a moment of weakness, confided in you about the burdens of his personal life with a kind of desolate demeanor that tugged at your heartstrings and made you genuinely feel bad for him. You had lent him your ear for nearly an hour, and eventually your shoulder as he came to rest his head against it to embrace you in thanks. It was simply you comforting a friend; offering him a brief moment of reprieve from the dreary thoughts that had plagued him for Merlin knew how long before the two of you had gone your separate ways. Nothing more, nothing less. 

It had apparently looked like something more to Sebastian, though. He had been watching from the end of the Dark Arts Tower corridor with narrowed eyes, jealousy burning in his veins as he took in the sight of his girlfriend holding his former best friend in a manner he deemed reserved for him and him alone. You didn’t know how much of the exchange he had actually witnessed, but all that mattered was that he had seen the two of you hugging. Wracked with a silent yet palpable fury, Sebastian had dragged you down the steps of the Undercroft before tossing you into the room without a second thought, your protests and justifications falling on deaf ears. 

A new word came to mind to describe Sebastian shortly thereafter. One that scared you as much as it excited you. 

Possessive. 

His fingers had branded you as he’d stripped you bare, pressing and pulling incessantly against your clothes until you were clad in nothing but your undergarments and left shivering under the intensity of his stare. He had stretched you out along the cool stone floor, his hands holding you down without a measure of care while he touched whatever parts of you he could reach. Your breasts were tender and sore by now– no doubt covered with tiny fingertip sized bruises from the sheer strength of his groping. His breathing was heavy and tinged with the occasional grunt when he shifted his hips over yours, the telling bulge in his trousers more than likely causing him discomfort, but he paid it no mind as he took his time focusing on you. An unmistakable wetness had gathered between your legs despite the depravity, and as much as you wanted to clench your knees together to ease the rampant ache there, Sebastian’s own leg between yours prevented you from doing so. 

He was toying with you, that much was certain, and he was enjoying every blasted second of it. 

In response to your absentminded squirming, Sebastian moved so his knee was nestled directly against your core, the sudden pressure causing you to gasp and arch beneath him. He took advantage of your closer proximity and looped his arm under your back, holding you flush to him with a desperate sort of yearning that made you dizzy, and the way he inhaled your scent before groaning was almost primal.

A choked moan slipped from your lips as Sebastian ducked his head into the crook of your neck to bite and suck fervently, the pain laced pleasure blinding you to his true motives, but not for long. There was no doubt in your hazy mind that he was behaving so brutishly in some attempt to remind you of who you belonged to. Leaving visible marks would only further his intentions, and you found yourself whimpering as you trembled against the floor. 

After he bestowed a particularly playful nip against your marked flesh, Sebastian sat back on his haunches to admire his handiwork, taking in the sight of you dazed beneath him. You made quite the pretty picture; skin flushed, hair mussed, and an eclectic assortment of finger shaped lesions decorating your neck, breasts, and thighs. The knowledge that they had been put there by him only appealed to him more, and Sebastian hummed appreciatively at the sight. 

You, on the other hand, were coiled tighter than a spring. The Slytherin man had been edging you like this for what seemed like an eternity, but it realistically could only have been half an hour or so. Time was something of an illusion at present, and all you could truly focus on was your ardent need for release. The fiery sensation that stayed stubbornly aflame in your lower stomach was beginning to drive you mad, and you gazed longingly up at Sebastian, who in turn bit his lip at your watery stare. 

“Please, Sebastian,” you implored him, voice catching. His hands trailed down your chest and over your pert nipples before eventually settling on either side of your waist. Then with a grip tighter than Devil’s Snare, he tugged you harder against his knee with a wicked smile, forcing a low groan from your throat in response to the friction that he seemed to revel in. “Please.”

“I don’t know what you’re begging for,” he admonished in a low voice. “You’re going to have to be more specific, darling.”

Fuck, he was still upset. That much was obvious to you. It was evident in his tone, in the way his fingers dug sharply into the skin of your lower back– but mostly it was his eyes. The usual spark that danced behind his irises when he was with you was dull, and his gaze was anything but soft. It was hard and unyielding, cold and unfeeling. You were going to have to talk your way out of this one. 

Licking your chapped lips, you did your best to still your writhing as you grit through your teeth, “I need you. I can’t take any more of this, please Sebastian.” 

Both of his hands left your waist then. One of them braced flat against the floor to support himself while the other curled under your neck, pulling your head off of the ground to press your forehead against his own. The unrelenting pressure against your cunt didn’t lessen as he hunched over you and forced you to stare directly into those dark, greedy eyes of his, and you whimpered pitifully beneath him as he took in the delicious expression you bore. “Is it really me you need, or would any man do, hm? Should I fetch Ominis? Let the two of you continue where you left off earlier? Or maybe you’d prefer Garreth instead– your standards seem to be all over the place, so I wouldn’t be surprised.” 

“N-No–” you stammered around the word when his fist clenched painfully in the hair at the nape of your neck. “Just you– only you– I swear, we were only talking earlier–”

“That’s not what it looked like from where I was standing…” he muttered darkly, releasing your head and letting it thunk back against the floor softly. His hand was akin to molten fire as it trailed along your clavicle before he moved his thumb to lightly brush across your bottom lip. You barely had time to take note of the movement before he dove forward to capture your lips in a heady, domineering kiss that stole your breath from you completely, and all you could do was mewl softly when you felt his tongue sweep along the inside of your mouth. Sebastian groaned into the kiss, cupping the side of your jaw with his hand as he shifted his knee away from your core to give him the space he needed to drop his hips and grind his solid manhood against your thigh. He broke away for a split second to breathe out, “Say it again.” 

It was hard to get a word out with how ferociously Sebastian was kissing you, but eventually his mouth trailed wetly to the side of your face to suck another mark into the skin below your ear, and you managed to gasp out, “Just you, Sebastian. There’s only you, I love you.” 

The sound of his nails scraping against the stone floor beside your head drew your attention, but before you could roll your head to look, he was sitting up once more with a new sort of emotion glinting in his eyes. Those brown orbs of his were no longer flat or cold and instead appeared to be scalding with blatant lasciviousness, his want for you as potent as Firewhiskey. 

Through hooded eyes you watched as Sebastian reached for his belt, the sound of metal and leather coming undone filling you with a kind of urgency that left you biting the inside of your cheek hard enough to draw blood. Finally he would give you what you wanted– what you’d been craving from the moment he stripped you bare and pinned you to the floor. The version of your boyfriend above you hurriedly shoving his pants down his hips was unfamiliar to you; he seemed wholly animalistic, driven forth by some inherent, primitive need to claim you all for himself, and as much as you loathed his inability to rein in his jealousy at times, an equally intrinsic part of you craved his possessiveness. 

You were his, and he was yours. 

Freed from the confines of his trousers, Sebastian knocked your legs to the side so he had more room to situate himself between them. He slid his knees under your bent legs, caging the limbs under his arms as he ran his calloused palms down the tops of your thighs and the head of his cock slid through the overwhelming wetness that had gathered at your center. The rampant ache in your stomach roared back to life tenfold at the mere feeling of his thick shaft, and you twitched in anticipation while Sebastian fixed his lustful gaze on you. 

“That’s right,” he started to slide into your wet heat as he spoke, your mouth falling open around an airy groan at the sensation of being filled. “You’re mine. Everything you have to offer is for me and me alone, don’t you ever forget it.” 

Sebastian was stretching you out torturously slow, stuffing every inch of himself into you with a measure of control that went against his earlier behavior. He was utterly transfixed as he watched your chest rise and fall with panted breaths, and when he finally bottomed out with his hips flush to the backs of your thighs, a wanton groan ripped from your throat as your head fell to the side. Your hand shot up to push back against his lower stomach– silently trying to convey that you needed a moment to adjust– but Sebastian merely pulled his hips back and plunged back in, drawing a keen whimper from you that lit a fire in his blood. 

Overwhelmed tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as you struggled to breathe through the sheer size of him breaching you, and you threw your arm over your face to hide the sudden flush you felt heating your cheeks. “S-Sebastian, I can’t– ah–” 

His hands slid down your thighs to grip at your waist once again, pulling you impossibly closer to grind against your ass before he began pumping into you steadily. It stole your breath– all of it; the angle, his bruising hold on you, his pulsing cock brushing against the deepest parts of you. It was exquisite agony, and a quivering moan tore from your lips when he leaned forward to spear downward into you, the head of his shaft hitting something that made you jolt against him. 

Your arm fell away from your face in that instant, your fingers scrambling for purchase against the stone floor beneath you, to no avail. “F-Fuck, you’re too much– Sebastian!” 

With your neck tipped back and your eyes squeezed shut, you felt Sebastian lean forward to brace his elbows on either side of your head before grasping your cheeks in his large hands. He lifted your skull from the ground and held your forehead to his again, prompting you to look at him as he slowed his pace. He continued to drive his hips into yours, but the mind numbing intensity had mercifully lessened. 

“You’ll never do this with anyone else,” he said brusquely, his breath fanning across your lips. You could only moan in response, especially when he started to grind against you after each plunge of his cock. “This is all for me– every bit of you was made for me– do you understand?” 

The grating moans that had been sounding from you transformed into gentler ones, Sebastian’s wave-like movements with his hips delivering tantalizing friction against your clit that had you melting beneath him. You nodded dumbly, and your boyfriend released your face to sit up so he could better watch as you fell apart under him. With one hand on your waist and the other propping him up, Sebastian held fast to you while he upped his tempo, pistoning his hips into you so fast and rough that the wet sounds coming from where you were connected were all you could hear. 

More choked whimpers cascaded from your lips, sounding like an angelic symphony as far as Sebastian was concerned, and he threw his head back as he got lost in the sensation of your velvety walls clamping down on his cock. You could tell he was close based on how ragged his breathing became, and your own looming climax frayed the remaining tethers of your self-restraint. You surrendered completely to him, relishing in the overwhelming fullness of him as well as the scrape of the stone floor against your shoulder blades. Pain faded into pleasure, the cold air of the Undercroft transformed into a blazing inferno, and you swore you had never been so thoroughly fucked in your life. 

When Sebastian’s gaze fell back on you, his eyes darkened and he practically snarled as he bent you clean in half. He nudged your knees over his shoulders so he could wrap his arms around you, burying his fingers in your hair and clenching the strands in his fists, and as he rammed his cock into you harder– more feral and beastly than ever– the air in your lungs was expelled with every intoxicating thrust. 

All you could see, smell, hear, and feel was him. He had effectively rendered you brainless as he claimed your mind, body, and soul, and the only thing you could do was submit to him and take it. 

Your clammy hands blazed a trail along his skin as you wrapped your arms around him, your nails digging into his back so hard that it had to sting– but if Sebastian’s throaty groan was anything to go by, he fucking loved it. 

“Gods, it’s so deep, isn’t it?” he asked you, the words coming out in-between panted breaths. A shiver ran up your spine at the thought before you clenched around him even more, the unmistakable feeling of his cock hitting your cervix making you see stars. “I’ll come inside– fill you up so good that you’ll walk out of here with it dripping down your legs. See what everyone else has to say about that.” 

You couldn’t even formulate a response. The most you managed was a witless, muffled cry of his name against his shoulder, the weight of him pressing down on you smothering any of the unintelligible noises that escaped you. His rapid, uncompromising pace drove you higher than you had ever thought possible, and your climax steadily built from a whisper to a deafening clamor. 

“Ah– Sebastian, please–” you babbled, spittle hanging from your lips as you begged. “Please, please, please–” 

The hands he had fisted in your hair tightened even more, prompting you to crane your neck back to ease the prickling feeling. “Please what? Come on darling, tell me what you want.” 

The bestial way Sebastian fucked into you intensified in that moment, his toes digging into the stone floor to lend him the support he needed to chase his own pleasure while simultaneously amplifying yours. It was too much– it felt too good– and you had to fight tooth and nail to get the words out before his efforts left you a useless, twitching pile of limbs beneath him. “Please, let me come!” 

“Swear that you’re mine,” he growled in your ear, the rough timbre to his voice making you tremble in earnest. “Tell me that no one else will ever have you like this– swear it.” 

“I s-swear– I swear it– I’m yours, Sebastian. Only yours, I swear, please please please– I swear–” 

Sebastian said nothing else, instead rewarding your admission with a toe-curling roll of his hips as he plunged in all the way to the hilt. He kept moving like that, the chill-inducing friction against your clit combined with his sinfully precise, cervix-kissing thrusts more than enough to drag your finish from you. Your walls fluttered around him as you lost control of your voice, your entire body quaking and jolting as an assortment of moans, cries, and and airy gasps poured from your throat. 

“Fuck–” Sebastian swore roughly, both of his hands abandoning their hold on your hair to brace against the floor to better support his body as you seemingly sucked him in deeper. “Good girl, fuck– I’m close. You're going to take it all, yeah?”

There wasn’t a chance in hell you could respond– not that Sebastian was waiting for you to. With a husky groan, he pushed himself as deep into you as he could go, getting a few last thrusts in before he bottomed out and unraveled. Hot, potent strings of his seed painted your insides, causing your eyes to roll back in your head before he began rutting and grinding his hips into you to milk as much of himself as he could. You could barely hear him mumbling for you to take it all– not that it was even up for debate– and when he finally relented and stilled his movements, you were too dazed to so much as glance at him. 

A warm, featherlight feeling brought you back to the present after a couple of heated moments. Sebastian’s hands brushed a few stray strands of hair away from your forehead, his eyes unapologetically roving over you as he took in the sight of your fucked-out expression. He seemed pleased with himself, a barely there smirk revealing itself as he dropped his hand to your waist to dig his fingers into the bruised skin there. You inhaled sharply, but beyond that, you didn’t so much as wince. You were far too weary for that. 

“In the future,” he started to say as he rocked forward, pressing his still-hard length into you briefly before withdrawing halfway, only to repeat the motion again. “I’d rather you keep your hands to yourself when you’re with your ‘friends’. Especially where Ominis is concerned…” he trailed off, his hands skimming along all the love-bites and bruises that littered your body. “That is, unless you want more reminders as to who it is exactly you’re dating.” 

One look into Sebastian’s dark, piercing eyes told you that he wasn’t bluffing at all. You already knew that he was more than willing to stake his claim on you should the need arise, and part of you even wondered if he would have the decency to do so in private next time. 

Next time? Would there even be a next time? He had certainly made his point.

The pleasant ache that lingered throughout your body had you second guessing yourself, however, and you honestly wondered if it would be worth it to rile Sebastian up again in the future. As terrifying as the thought was, you couldn’t help but entertain it as you smiled up at him innocently, a flurry of unholy visions racing through your mind as you relished in the possessive way he continued to touch you. 

When he began to move his hips again, you decided to label the notion as a ‘maybe’ for now. Clearly he was far from finished with you, and despite the mildly terrifying side of him you had just been made privy to, you couldn’t help but shudder in anticipation. 

Maybe rousing the sleeping dragon again wouldn’t be such a terrible thing… right?

[jays-bonnie-on-the-side]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JAY

PAIRING : jensen ackles x fiancé!reader

SUMMARY : it’s jensen’s 47th birthday and reader surprises him at work

WARNINGS : fluff. love. surprises. established relationship. mentions of wedding. age gap if you squint. strong language. implied oral sex (male receiving). daddy!jensen. hints of jealous ex.

A/N : thought of this last night and wrote this morning. happy birthday jensen. i love you more than you know and i hope you get to see your kids today. —your bonnie on the side. 🫶🏽😘🎉🎂🥳🎈🎊🎁

March 1st: Jensen’s birthday. Today, he’s turning 47, a year closer to the number he dreads, yet his age had never bothered me. All I wanted was Jensen. And I’m fortunate enough to say I have him.

He’s been working so hard since September, juggling cons and shooting Countdown, and it doesn’t end there. Once he wraps up his current project, he’s heading straight to Toronto to film The Boys, followed by Vought Rising. I moved to L.A. to be with him, both of us refusing to be apart. Yet, he comes home so late and leaves so early that I hardly see him. But not today, not on his birthday.

With the filming running behind, he still had to go in on Saturdays, and unfortunately, that’s the day his birthday fell on this year. Unbeknownst to him, I had very special plans. The first one was waking him up with breakfast and head in bed.

“Fuck, sweetheart. I don’t know what’s better: the food you make or your pretty little mouth.” Jensen breathlessly chuckles as he swipes the dribble of cum from the corner of my lip.

That was this morning, and now I’m on the set of Countdown, talking with the PAs about his surprise. As he’s finishing his scene, the most important part of my plan shows up. Jensen knew I’d meet him for lunch but had no idea I was flying his kids out from Connecticut for his special day. The only downside to both him and I was his ex tagging along. Despite the years Jay and I have been together—and after Vought Rising wraps, I’ll become their stepmother—Danneel didn’t trust me alone with them. And no matter the animosity I have towards her, I needed his children to be here.

They rush toward me, tackling me with their embrace. It had been months since I last saw them. In between cons, tournaments, and public appearances, Jensen spent his free time visiting his kids across the country. Not that I minded, but I did miss him—and them—like crazy. I wrap my arms around them, laughing with glee as they cling to me.

“Hey! I’ve missed you guys so much.”

“We’ve missed you too!” says JJ.

They squeeze tighter, close to taking my breath away. I play into it and gasp dramatically, making them giggle. My gaze falls on an annoyed Danneel, and a smirk tugs at my lips. She’s always hated my relationship with the kids. ‘Could’ve been one of the reasons she gave Jensen such a hard time about bringing me around. It didn’t matter, though; They loved me anyway. Right from the very start.

They set me free, and Arrow asks loudly, “Is Daddy almost done?”

“Yes, but it’s a surprise, remember? We have to be quiet until we sing him ‘Happy Birthday,’ then you can be as louudd as you want. Okay?”

“Okay!” A PA calls me over, and I excuse myself, but she scampers beside me and takes my hand. “Can I come with you?”

“Sure, but you have to ask your mom first.”

Arrow spins on her heel, asking her mom, “Can I go with Y/N?”

“I wanna go too!” “Me three!” Both JJ and Zep chime in.

She shakes her head. “No, you can stay here.”

They begin to whine, but she doesn’t care. “C’mon, Danneel. It’s not like you won’t be able to see them. They can help me finish a few things.”

A few producers and PAs watch her closely, waiting for her response. With all eyes on her, she caves in, grumbling a “Fine,” under her breath.

The kids jump in joy and hurry after me. Backstage was lined with Jensen’s favorite foods and desserts. All that was left was to finish the decorations and bring out the cake. Without having to be directed much, they pick up streamers and run them along the tables. They even blow up balloons and hang them where they see fit. Once we finish, I tell them my plan.

“Okay, so. I’m thinking you guys hide when Daddy comes in, and when everyone starts singing, you roll the cake out, surprising him. What do you think?” They nod their heads in agreement. Jensen’s PA comes in, quietly shouting that he’s coming. “Okay, kids, it's showtime! Go tell your mom to stand in the back so he doesn’t see her, and you guys wait by the cake.”

They run off, and I direct everyone to stand in a half circle, facing the direction Jensen will be coming from. After giving the final instruction, I turn around and wait. My heart pounds, excited to see his reaction. Everyone’s quiet, and we hear the laughter between the cast members coming off stage. It gets closer, and the curtain pulls back, revealing my groom-to-be.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” The crowd shouts, making Jensen jump.

His green eyes widen, and a grin grows. He looks around the room, and his gorgeous orbs land on me. His face says it all: He knew I put this together. That’s not all, Ackles. Everyone begins to sing to him, and he stands in amazement. I walk to the edge of the crowd and wave the kids out.

JJ pushes the cart with her dad’s favorite cake, and the twins walk beside her. His demeanor changes in shock, not expecting to see his offspring. She wheels it in front of Jensen, and the moment it’s in place, he pulls them in for a hug. Everyone watches in awe as they continue to sing. He glances toward me, tears welling in his eyes, having not seen them since Christmas.

My heart soars at the sight. They look so happy. He’d been feeling down lately, not only having gone so long without their presence but knowing their absence was to be expected on his birthday. And when JJ told me her New Year’s resolution was to see her dad more, I knew I had to make this happen. Seeing their reunion was a gift of its own.

I walk toward Jensen, settling my hand over his neatly trimmed beard as he extends his neck to kiss me. It was long and sweet, enough to make Zep cringe. We chuckle and pull away, ceasing our PDA. The traditional birthday song ends, and he blows out his candles. With his face still close, I push his head down, and it smashes into the frosting. Everyone laughs, some hooting and hollering, as they clap. He stands up, shocked that he hadn’t seen it coming before a laugh of his own comes out.

Nearly everyone snaps a picture of his cake-kissed face before he uses his tongue to clean the area near his mouth. Someone hands me a napkin, and before I can wipe him off, he grabs and holds me still. I squeal, but he shuts me up with his mouth, smearing the frosting onto mine. The crowd cheers, and he deepens the sugary kiss. We separate and clean each other’s faces off, but not in the way we would in private.

“All right, kids,” Jensen claps and rubs his hands together as the kids circle the chocolate sheet cake. “Dessert first!” They cheer, and Danneel comes out of the shadows to protest. He mutters, “I knew it was too good to be true,” before arguing back. “Hey, it’s my birthday, and as their father, I say let them eat cake!”

I roll my eyes, knowing he won’t be the one dealing with their sugar rush. Then again, it’s not like she would let me have them anyway, so to hell with her! She doesn’t put up much of a fight with everyone so close. Instead, she stomps away. Once she’s out of sight, I talk some sense into the man.

“Dad, are you sure that’s a good idea? ‘Cause if I remember correctly, you once told me that cake tastes soooo much better after eating food first.”

Understanding my hint, he nods. “You’re right. I did say that.”

“Did you make the food, Y/N?” His younger daughter asks.

“No, babe. Not this time,” They ‘awe’ in disappointment, but I assure them I will tonight. “For now, why don’t we eat some food from Daddy’s favorite restaurant here in L.A.?”

Bouncing at any chance to be closer to their father, they nod excitedly. The kids then run toward the table with the disposable eatware and grab their plates. Before I follow after them, Jensen pulls me into his chest.

“I can’t believe you did this for me.”

I turn in his arms and pull him closer. “Of course, baby. Why wouldn’t I?”

He shrugs, looking in the direction his ex-wife disappeared off to. “I guess it’s not something I’m used to.”

“Well, get used to it, birthday boy.”

Jensen gently cradles my face, tilting it up so our eyes meet. “I love you. So fucking much.”

“I love you more.” His lips attach to mine, keeping the kiss PG with our audience present. “Happy birthday, Jay.”

“Thank you, sweetheart. For everything. ‘This has been one of the best days I’ve had in a while.”

“You’re so welcome,” I press a quick peck to his luscious lips before tugging his hand. “C’mon. Let’s go feed our kids.”

He drapes his arm over my shoulder, drawing me close and planting a kiss on the crown of my head as we stroll toward the impatient children.

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[elysiansparadise]

With the gentle caress of Neptune's blissful hand, a dreamy aura evolves. In the dawn's soft embrace, and twilight's whisper, pisces paints the sky with a suspire.

Pisces Rising: Divine Charm

They look mysterious and distant but their gaze, like the ocean, deep and profound, reflecting the emotions untold. A wise mind and soul, with a gentle and caring heart, remains protected from the dangers from outside. Many of them tended to isolate themselves, as the tensions of their early environment could be difficult to deal with. They seek calm, and would love to live in a world where they felt at peace and free to be who they truly are. They have the ability to adapt to their environments and the people they meet, making the number of people with whom they truly feel like themselves very small. Their beauty lies more in delicacy, like angels fallen to heaven, their skin is soft, their gaze slightly sleepy and many of them give an unapproachable vibe. 

From a young age they learn to achieve things on their own and we can attribute that to Aries in the 2nd house. They greatly value their independence, being able to do things their own way, because these natives highly value their independence and that clearly includes financial independence, which is why they like to make their decisions for themselves when it comes to money. Some of them may have a tendency to be somewhat impulsive with their spending, especially if Mars is making tense aspects to Jupiter or Neptune. Ambition to find stability in their lives, they fervently desire to feel powerful and not with respect to others, but with themselves and the management of their lives. They are people who have that entrepreneurial spirit, since they were young, they may have defined what they want to achieve, be it a certain status, economic position, or simply a set of things to have in the future. Some of these natives are prone to becoming demotivated quickly if they do not perceive or have tangible results, so it is necessary for them to find a way to motivate themselves. It is a kind of challenge to be more constant and persistent in your productive projects. They may possess a certain level of competitiveness and winning and/or achieving things can increase their self-esteem, especially if Mars makes tense aspects to Sun or Jupiter. It is possible that at some point in their lives they feel that to be valuable they have to achieve or have things, they may equate success with the idea of ​​"I have to create or do something.”

Talking to them is one of the most comfortable things in the world, they are responsible for not only talking to you and giving you their point of view, but also listening to you carefully, and we can see that with Taurus in the 3rd house. These natives take their time to process what is happening around them, they do not jump to conclusions, they are observant, capable of sensing when things are not as before, when there are changes around them, nothing goes unnoticed, no matter how minimal the change may be. They like clarity, that people speak with bluntness, that is, without losing tact if the situation requires it. They have a very attractive and soothing voice, and their way of speaking, the words that come out of their mouths can be a caress to the soul. They are sensible, rational and patient. They calm others with ease with their words and voice, there is something simply magnetic about them. Talent for singing and taste or interest in music. They have a great facility for creating and generating ideas, and not only that, but they also materialize them. They have aptitudes for poetry and any genre that allows them to express their feelings through letters. They may have hands-on skills, from sculpture, drawing or any form of design. They are constant people when it comes to learning something that catches their attention. They easily move the people around them, as they seek to say what they genuinely feel and think. They tend to be somewhat reserved with their thoughts at first but when they express them, they will not express them abruptly or shouting. They take their time to learn, they like to do things at their own pace and not feel pressured, as they are susceptible to stress. It is difficult to change their mind, because even if they listen to yours, it is likely that they will not stop thinking the way they do.

Since they were children, these natives questioned everything, from what surrounded them to the actions or behaviors of those who accompanied them. Pure and present curiosity for as long as they can remember, a clear representation of Gemini in the 4th house. A desire to understand others at a deep level because of the feeling of never having been understood themselves. Many of these natives experience constant changes in their home, from moving to issues of family dynamics. They may have grown up in a chaotic or changing environment; one parent may have been emotionally distant. It is likely that since they were children they have had problems, whether it be excess mental and/or physical energy, nerves or anxiety in some cases. They may have closeness and constant communication with a particular member of their families. They are very reserved people with their past and emotions, they hardly feel that they can talk about it with others. They do not enjoy small talk much, they tend to prefer deep and more meaningful conversations. These natives are fun, spontaneous and very expressive, but due to circumstances and experiences, they have learned to hide this side of them. They prioritize fluid communication with those with whom they have an emotional bond; they will always seek to make the other person comfortable to speak freely about what they feel. They may have had tense experiences in their childhood, such as dealing with people who were hypocritical or overly critical of them. They find comfort in the idea of ​​learning new things, yes, but most likely these natives have comfort series, books or movies that they return to when they don't feel well. Many of them express their discomfort, or in general any type of emotions through writing. Journaling, making poetry or simply writing can be activities that allow them to feel better and more liberated.

These natives are incredibly romantic and attentive in their relationships. They look for a relationship that allows them to be emotionally vulnerable and that is related to Cancer in the 5th house. Love with them feels like a warm blanket, which gives you warmth, protection and reaffirmation. For them there is no better sign of love than dedicating time, energy and devotion to the other person. They nourish their relationships a lot and always work on them, making necessary changes both in the dynamics of the relationship and in their love language, since they adapt to their partner's to make them feel loved. They prioritize the comfort of both themselves and their partners. Its beauty and appeal lies more on the tender, tender and soft side. They usually have attractive and sweet faces, as well as expressive eyes. Regardless of how they show themselves to the world and how they decide to face it, in their relationships they are softies, and they tend to attract people who become attached to them. They attract mysterious and reserved people with their emotions who have a huge heart. For them, a relationship equals comfort, unconditional support and a deep connection. Their partners' past matters to them as a way to understand them better. Caring and being cared for is important in the dynamics of romance for these natives to enjoy.

With Leo in the 6th house it is very likely that the native has excellent creative and/or artistic abilities. These are people who can gain a lot of recognition through their work or a skill they have worked on for a long time. In the work area they may be very loved or appreciated, they are seen as talented, capable and charismatic, however, that natural brilliance that they possess can attract envious people or people who want to steal some of their light. They are generous people par excellence, they will never hesitate to help, support or share with those they love. Having a strong work ethic, being responsible, honest and devoted are values ​​that have been instilled in them since they were young. It is likely that from childhood they were taught to work hard and value not only their own efforts but those of others. Many of these natives tend to prefer to be given compliments about their abilities, the way they do things or their results, not forgetting to mention that they can be modest or dismissive with other types of compliments, not knowing how to react to them. They like to do things that they can put their whole heart into. They need to see the importance behind a task to want to do it and will not waste their time on things that they do not perceive as genuinely useful or important to them. They have this way of doing things well or not doing them at all, they can be very demanding of themselves and of seeing tangible results. Many of these natives may experience pain in the chest and/or back if they are subjected to a lot of stress. For them it is crucial to truly love their job, because they feel that hating their job is no longer bearable for a little more money. Passion is important for them when starting a project, so if the passion runs out they will not hesitate to drop the task in question.

With Virgo in the 7th house we can observe what these natives look for in their relationships, especially those they want to maintain long term and this is reliability and mutual support. They are so used to giving a lot to others and supporting them fully no matter what, they are extremely devoted and giving to those who have the place of their heart, but it is highly disappointing when that is not given back to them. They tend to be so hard on themselves, overly self-critical of their actions in a relationship. If Mercury makes tense aspects, it is very likely that after breakups they will think that they are guilty or have a feeling of responsibility about it. They will always seek to improve their relationships, frequently asking their partners about how they feel more comfortable or how to make them feel more loved. They are looking for a reliable partner who supports and motivates them, someone who looks after their well-being and who accepts them without conditions, someone who makes them feel sufficient and happy with who they are. With this placement the natives will have a future spouse dedicated to them and the relationship, someone modest who will work hard and know how to appreciate the natives' efforts and intentions. It will be a relationship that will emerge little by little, they will get to know each other more and more and along with this, not only love but admiration will grow more and more. Both will try to resolve any issue that arises, knowing how to listen to each other and proposing solutions. Both will arrive at a point in each other's lives where they are focused on themselves whether it is improving, healing or working.

Giving and receiving equally is an internal desire that lies in Libra in the 8th house. That longing to show oneself completely to their special one and fully know the other, that fervent yearn, the need to be transparent with someone willing to be genuine with them. There is a set of internal conflicts between wanting that intense, passionate and extremely devoted connection with the fear of being vulnerable, the fear of becoming dependent on someone or that someone becomes too absorbed with them. The fear of giving everything and being betrayed. It is difficult to trust opening up and there is nothing that terrifies them more than the risk of doing so to the wrong person. Having them as a couple is an experience like no other, not only because of the passion and sensuality of these lovers, but also because of the intense and genuine devotion that they give you. They are able to love you completely, to form a connection that feels real, one in which you do not pretend to be someone you are not or one in which you do not feel like you have to be someone else. They experience great transformations during and after their relationships, they have a tendency to seek or attract deep relationships where there is a strong bond between them. They are fascinating lovers who manage to make you feel desired with a look, who through their touch transmit the whirlwind of emotions that you provoke in them. They love intensely, there is no doubt in them, all or nothing, I love you or I don't love you. They think a lot before entering a relationship, and once they are in one, they immerse themselves completely. 

These natives are constantly searching for a deep meaning to the world around them, something beyond the visible, and that need to see beyond what simple sight allows them to do is thanks to Scorpio in the 9th house. They feel a growing attraction for complex topics that mark them in some way or leave them introspective, since they spend a lot of their time in their heads, analyzing and trying to understand what seems intriguing to them. A desire to investigate topics that seem mysterious to them, inclination for spiritual topics, psychology or solving mysteries/riddles of all kinds. A lot of transformation through travel and chances of traveling to distant lands. Physical and spiritual journeys, many feelings of epiphanies throughout their lives. Fascination or fixation with a specific type of culture. A complex relationship with religion, being either very devoted to their beliefs or having experienced complex things thanks to the religious beliefs of their parents or family. Inquisitive minds, however they do not make it obvious that they know many things, they are very humble people regarding their knowledge, but they firmly trust in what they know. In them there is more knowledge than what is seen, they are very astute and although they seek to see the bigger picture, it is difficult for the details to go unnoticed, since they have the mixture of perception and strong intuition, which makes them perceive things that can be subliminal.

Natives with Sagittarius in the 10th house are curious souls by nature, people who aspire for great things and constantly dream of obtaining, achieving and being. They look for jobs that allow them to expand, intellectually, or expand their joy and emotional well-being. Many people tend to see them as genuine people who are easy to work with and people who, regardless of whether they are introverted or extroverted, will always be cordial. They can become very influential people in their work, since Jupiter, the planet of luck, rules this house, making them prone to finding success at work and easily moving or influencing people. They are likely to travel constantly and come into contact with foreign things thanks to their work. These people aspire to do good, to do the right thing and in many cases to contribute positively to the lives of others through their work. Some jobs for these people are teachers, artists, journalism, international relations, human resources, work in travel agencies, lawyers. In the eyes of the public they have charm, as they have a mixture of charisma, ambition and authenticity. Despite wanting to be recognized for their abilities, many of these natives can find it overwhelming to have a lot of attention, so they need that balance between alone time and public time.

Precisely because of their energy and sensitivity to other people's vibes, they are very selective about who they surround themselves with. Capricorn in the 11th house makes them accept their friends as they are and seek to give them a lot of support, but it is difficult for them to give that title to anyone. They prefer closed and stable circles, they take friendship seriously and can be very devoted to them. These natives have a tendency to attract friends with greater maturity or age, and they will admire the maturity and abilities of the natives. Friendships with long age differences. They may see it as a strong support for a friend/certain group of friends, finding a sense of family more in them than in their biological families. They can have great economic gains thanks to their career, from having high or important positions, or even a lot of prestige in their work. They aspire for big things and it is not enough for them to just dream, they like to make them come true and work hard to achieve them. Contrary to what one would believe with this placement, they are very ambitious and hardworking dreamers, as they will always be thinking about how to materialize everything that they have always longed to have. They believe in the power of hard work and many of them are not naive or excessively overzealous as they are projected.

The noise out there has become overwhelming, the looks of some have become heavy, all those times you felt judged, underestimated or left out for being your precious self has led you to lock yourself away, that beautiful and enormous heart and everything. That which makes you unique in a small world, where you can be safe from being viewed with disdain. People with Aquarius in the 12th house are reserved with certain sides of themselves, be it their thoughts, hobbies or in some cases feelings, on some occasions they may feel separated and different from others, the feeling of being an outsider can be common with this placement. In them lies a creative mind and an accepting soul, which seeks to know others deeply and remove from their lives everything that is superficial. They always seem very perceptive of their environment and those around them, they even generate interest in everything that allows them to know themselves and others better, as a result of a feeling of not having been understood. They have a high creative potential and can excel enormously in a hobby or one of their passions, but they may fear criticism and little acceptance from others. These people fear rejection from people, especially from those they open up to, thinking they are different. They have an open personality, they do not run away from or criticize minds other than their own, they will always try to understand and accept people. They feel that impulse in them to accept and include others because of the wound of not having been accepted themselves. In these natives lies a beautiful being, with unique ideas and emotions, who will hardly show himself completely to others, only those who inspire true confidence. Their longing and desire is to be free from these internal chains and cages that hold back those sides of their being that they feel will be judged.

[thevoidstaredback]

Danny couldn't tell you what he expected, but it most definitely wasn't this.

Time and Space were weird in the Infinite Realms, both bending to the will of their masters and no one all at once. They didn't follow a line or a path. Time and Space did as they wanted. Fitting, considering who their masters are.

The first time Danny was ten years old, his Grandfather killed him. He remembers that, in an effort to save him, his mother submerged his body in the Lazarus Pits he and his brother had been warned about ever going near.

As it was explained to him, the Infinite Realms has a base level of sentience at the very least. She allows herself to peak into the worlds She cradles to keep an eye on them. She found Danny when his mother had lowered him into the water and She claimed him as Her own. She bent Time to Her will, making Danny a toddler again, before bending Space to drop him in the world that would most allow him to grow. She promised that She would come back for him when the time was right.

The first time Danny was fourteen, after the second time he had been ten, he died. The parents he had learned to accept as his own tried to open an unnatural gateway into the Infinite Realms. He was the one to turn it on. The electricity of the mortal world killed him, but the energy from the Infinite Realms revived him.

He remembers the whispers barely heard under his own screams. Whispers and imprints of "I'm sorry" and "I do not mean to hurt you" and "You will only grow stronger" and "Welcome back, my champion".

Danny can count on one hand the number of times he's felt safe between the first time he was six and the first time his was fourteen. He can tell you the names of exactly two places he has never felt the need to hide from.

The day Danny turned fifteen for the first time, he told his parents what happened to him. He knew, instinctually, that they would not understand, that they are researchers before they are parents. But he held onto the hope that had been trained out of him when he was first four years old. He had hoped that they would go against all odds and accept and help him.

He shut down the portal the very next day. He destroyed it and all of his parents' lives work. He would not stand by and let them hurt his people when he could not be there to interfere. He escaped back into the embrace of the Infinite Realms through Vlad's portal, giving him the Order to destroy it. The only way for the citizens of the Realms to enter the mortal worlds was to use natural portals, as unstable and unpredictable as they are. He would not risk them again.

He finds himself wandering listlessly, letting the Realms take him where She wants him to go. Sometimes She takes him to places that are completely empty, places where he can mourn what he lost without anyone finding him. Sometimes She takes him to his mentors and friends. Sometimes She takes him where he needs to be.

Danny finds the boy just as the natural portal closes behind him, the sickly green and black oozing like a festering wound.

The boy looks similar to Danny. His hair is spiked, his clothing dulled shades of a hero's costume under a black cloak, a mask covering his eyes, his body being more filled out to match his age. But Danny, on every level of understanding that he is and ever will be capable of, knows that this is his brother.

"Damian?" he whispers. The Realms push him forward. "Damian!"

Danny cradles the body of his brother, slowly sinking to the ground the Realms produce for him to land on. He carefully peels the mask from his face and lays it beside the katana on the ground.

As expected of anyone who finds their way into the Infinite Realms without proper protections, Damian has no pulse. He is not breathing. He is cold. The wound under his sternum is not bleeding.

Danny brushed his thumbs under Damian's eyes, his hands on his cheeks. "What did they do to you, ahki?"

Despite having no mortal ability to do so, Damian's eyes opened. He started ahead, blinking when his green eyes met Danny's. "Danyal?"

Tears fell from his eyes as he nodded. "Hi, Damian. You're here early."

Tears fell from Damian's eyes as well. He knew where he was. There was only one explanation. He couldn't feel himself breathing, nor could he hear his heart beat or his blood flow. There was no pain from where his mother had run him through.

"She killed me!" Damian cried into his brother's shoulder.

Danny held him tighter. "I'm so sorry," No one should ever have to go like that.

"Father couldn't save me."

"It's okay."

"Dick and Tim and Jason and Cass-!"

"Shh, ahki. You will see them again. I'll make sure of it."

The brothers held each other as they cried. The Realms wrapped Herself around the boys, comforting them as she could. Her champion and his brother, both children She had claimed and would protect.

Part 1 Storyboard

@anarinette

[solecize]

°⛧  ‧  ₊   　 　⠀mnemonic 　⠀⠀⠀　 　⠀⠀　 　⠀⠀ [3]

　 　⠀　 　⠀⠀　 　⠀　 　⠀⠀　 　⠀　 　⠀　 　⠀　 　⠀　 *ੈ  ✩  ‧  ₊  ˚  .ೃ

⇢ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: swimmer!jk x female reader, college au, slow burn friends to lovers to ??, fluff, angst, slice of life, coming of age

⇢ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: smut, substance use, college party and hookup culture, mentions of greek life hazing, characters experiencing just about every feeling a lost college student goes through, depictions of and discussions surrounding mental health (depression, anxiety, substance abuse), slow burn ish, disgusting amounts of yearning and clueless pining, yes he's her tutor at one point, yes they're in denial, also features other third gen idols, dare i say found family, there is a beach episode and a fireworks festival too lol

in which a little box of memories tells the story of how you and jeon jungkook slowly, but surely, fell in love against the backdrop of the growing pains of your college years. jungkook presents this box to you as a final gift at graduation and each item in the box is a snapshot frozen in time, capturing the forces that brought the two of you from strangers to friends to more. 

⇢ 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐱: masterlist. / prologue. / the loyalty points card from the campus coffee shop. / ticket to the haunted horrors house (admission for two). / a worn out deck of cards. / handwritten no-bake cheesecake recipe. / cd soundtrack for stand by me (1986). / travel brochure to derry beach. / a clipping from the school newspaper. / pieces of confetti. / one empty tequila shooter. / epilogue & the final item.

⇢ 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: i'll be updating more often now fingers crossed! there's just one and a half more chapters set in freshman year :)

  the haunted horrors house ticket (admission for two)

 homesickness was real and you couldn’t believe it. you missed the way your parents argued in the kitchen. you could count the number of cracks on your front doorsteps in your daydreams, missing the way you used to watch the sunset from that spot. you missed the local boba tea place, where all the baristas knew your name. you missed home.

 college was freeing, but so suffocating at the same time. by the time sweater weather rolled around, you had yet to accept this unnerving truth and distracted yourself with what you could. clutching your nth wine cooler of the night at a sorority party on the 31st of october, your drunken state left these heavy feelings behind.

 halloween during freshman year lasted eons for everybody. there was a sense of carelessness in the air, infectiously swimming about. even doyeon came out to party on halloween night in a half-assed cat costume, which shocked you. even though it consisted of just an all black outfit and face paint, she made it clear that she wasn’t a fan of greek parties. regardless, the peppermint air of autumn embraced all freshmen like a long lost friend on halloween, where the night never seemed to end.

 “yo! creepy mario and barefoot peach, we’re heading out - you coming?”

 you’d only ever seen parties get broken up by the police in the movies and were baffled to witness a pair of officers shut down tonight’s get together as a result of a noise complaint from the poor family next door. you imagined that it wasn’t fun, living next to a sorority house. when the girls started kicking everyone out, you’d been watching the ordeal from the living room couch with jungkook.

 “hey!” he exclaimed at yeri, who’d been making fun of his fake moustache all night for making him look like a 70s porn star. 

 you snickered. “jungkook, the mustache is a little ridiculous.”

 meanwhile, you’d decided hours ago that you would discard the pair of heels you originally opted for your costume. you were not a stiletto type of girl and immediately regretted your choice of shoes about thirty minutes into arriving at the party. you surely looked silly, lounging around with nothing on your feet, but you refused to even try one more time. 

 thankfully, jungkook decided to accompany you on the couch, as you’d otherwise be abandoned by the rest of your friends who spent their time mingling. yeri had been attempting to set up doyeon with someone from the cheerleading team for the past hour, while seokmin and jaehyun teamed up for a game of beer pong in the backyard. it was fitting, anyway, as the two of you showed up in unplanned matching costumes. yeri had whispered in your ear about how cute you and jungkook looked, but you ignored it.

 jaehyun was standing by the doorway, gesturing for you two to get up. “c’mon!”

 “where are we going?”

 “the fairgrounds!” he responded.

 the local fall fair wasn’t of much interest to you initially, especially since you preferred spending time on campus. you found yourself enchanted by the changing leaves in the quad and the smell of pumpkin spice in your lecture halls. there was something special about the season of fall on a college campus, a buzz of warmth settling in the air. going out into town felt like a hassle, if anything.

 with that, jungkook rose and to your confusion, squatted slightly. he noticed your expression and laughed. 

 jungkook said, “hop on.” 

 you realized that he was telling you to get on his back, to save you from your aching, barefoot feet. it took half a moment, before a grin tugged at your lips and you wrapped your arms around his neck, legs curling around his waist. despite swaying back and forth drunk, he hoisted you on and impressively grabbed your shoes with one arm at the same time. 

 things were just the slightest bit confusing with jungkook. over the past month, a group formed with him, seokmin, jaehyun and your roommates naturally and you’d all been hanging out here and there. you were forming a tiny crush on the attractive male, but then you’d heard that he was hanging out with dahyun - some girl on the women’s swim team. meanwhile, your roommates had been encouraging you to keep meeting different kinds of guys and that freshman year was not the time to be settling down. well, it was mostly doyeon, as yeri was convinced you and jungkook were soulmates. 

 “don’t tie yourself down,” doyeon had said to you one night, after the three of you came back your dorm from the dining hall. you all ran into jungkook and on the way back, yeri was poking fun at your obvious crush.

 yeri cut in. “they’d be cute together, though!”

 “i don’t even think he likes me like that. sometimes, i think he does, then the next day, he fist bumps me like i’m one of his bros.” you groaned, burying your face in your hands.

 you pushed these thoughts away from your mind, as jungkook effortlessly carried you out the front door. most of the other partygoers were walking towards their ubers, while you spotted doyeon’s car at the corner of the intersection. the rest of your friends were already comfortably seated and as it was a five seater, you knew that you’d unfortunately be one to squeeze in. 

 “don’t worry, i have extra shoes in my trunk,” doyeon called out. 

 seokmin sat in the back, pouting. “why are we going to the fair again?”

 “what else do you want to do?” she shot at her cousin. “besides, i’m the one with the car and i don’t want to go to another party.”

 that point was enough to shut him up. at the very least, he began rambling about the ride he wanted to go on.

 the back of the car popped open and jungkook grabbed a pair of hot pink sandals - fitting for your costume, at least. you thanked him as he set you down right on them, a giggle escaping you. the shots you had earlier definitely still had its effects on you.

 when you came around the corner, the three boys were seated in the back and it looked nearly impossible to squeeze in. however, instead of yeri offering to switch with one of them, a mischievous glint shone in her eyes. 

 “y/n, just sit on jungkook’s lap, he’s mostly sober. seokmin or jaehyun will probably throw up on you if you sit on them.”

 jungkook raised an eyebrow at her. “why don’t you just swi - “

 “can you guys decide, please? now? the guy behind me is getting mad,” doyeon cut in.

 right on cue, the car to the back of doyeon’s honked repeatedly. your eyes went wide and had no choice but to take your place on jungkook’s lap. you could have sworn you saw the flash of a smirk on yeri’s face through the rearview mirror. as soon as you sat down, doyeon immediately zoomed off without warning.

 you yelped, but were thankfully saved by the grip of jungkook’s hands on your hips. it was a blessing that it was nightfall, as nobody could see the tint of pink on your cheeks when he did so. 

 “geez, doyeon,” jungkook remarked, while she apologized profusely. “you good, y/n?” he asked, hands still in the same place.

 you nodded. “yeah, thank you. i thought i was going to die.” the joke elicited a round of laughter from your friends.

 “i swear i’m a good driver!”

 an hour later, you and your friends were at the fairgrounds, debating on what attraction was up next. it was nearing midnight, yet the event was still bustling and full of life. kids’ laughter chimed in throughout, joyful with the spirit of halloween and the freeing nature of being permitted out late for this special night. salty popcorn filled your lungs along with. . .smoke?

 after getting tired of losing to yeri in every game stand, seokmin led the six of you to the haunted house at the very back of the grounds. the sputtering of its smoke machine sang like a bad song and was slightly concerning, but it was one of the last places that you hadn’t checked out yet. there also happened to be no line and after listening to the boys complain for ten minutes, waiting for the ferris wheel, it was ideal.

 ‘nah. no way i’m going in there,” jaehyun vigorously shook his head upon taking in the exterior, which caused the rest of you to giggle.

 the so-called ‘haunted horrors house’ was a towering sight to behold, structured to mimic gothic architecture in a way that did not fit in with a cheesy fall carnival. other than the neon green sign that read its name, its old and run-down exterior fit the bill of an actual haunted house. the columns were lined with cobwebs and its windows highlighted by cracks and bloody handprints. just from the outside, you could notice flickering lights and hear echoes of giggles - even if it was just a sound recording of some kind, it was bone-chilling. 

 yeri teased, “what, are you scared?”

 although he remained silent, you noticed the way jungkook sighed upon the suggestion. it seemed like jaehyun wasn’t the only person who didn’t want to be there. he caught your eye and nervously turned away.

 “you can only buy a ticket in pairs,” advised the person manning the front of the haunted house. she pointed to the sign by the register, which informed customers as such.

 seokmin continued insisting that everyone go for the experience, as he offered to partner up with jaehyun to ease his fears. that left yeri with doyeon and all of a sudden, the four of your friends looked at you and jungkook expectantly. 

 there didn’t appear to be a choice in the matter - you and jungkook were going to be paired up.

 zero qualms emerged, though, until no one stepped up to be the first ones to go. the booth attendant began growing impatient, as there was now a line forming behind your group of friends. her bored eyes fell on the two of you.

 “hey. mario and peach. it’s going to be ten bucks, cash only.”

 even though he didn’t have an ounce of excitement on his face, jungkook pulled out his wallet without hesitation. as if on cue, you reached for your phone in your back pocket, already ready to electronically transfer him your half of the ticket money. he noticed and put his hand up.

 jungkook said, “don’t worry about it, it’s on me.”

 “it’s fine, i got it,” you insisted, as he handed the girl a ten and still held his hand up in protest.

 she stuck the bill into her tin and pointed at the sign behind her, prompting the two of you to sign a waiver. there were a set of rules for each participant, basic ones that went over health and safety risks. no attacking the actors, the house was a one way path only, etc. then, she looked back at you and jungkook and narrowed her eyes. her voice fell below a whisper.

 “and there are cameras in there. so no funny business with your boyfriend,” she warned and both you and jungkook were now tomato red in the face. “got that?”

 thankfully, with her quiet volume, none of your friends were able to hear what she said. when the two of you didn’t respond out of embarrassment, you feared that she would repeat the statement again, only this time, louder. so, to avert disaster, you nodded furiously and grabbed jungkook by the arm.

 “yeah! yeahwegotitthanks,” you choked out in one breath, dragging him past the booth attendant and into the haunted house before she could say anything else.

 as soon as you and jungkook stepped into the foyer, the air immediately went icy. the area looked exactly the way you expected it to - ancient and dark. the only source of light was a single candle propped up by the arch into the hallway. hung on the walls were rusty portraits of paintings with faces scratched out by claws. an eerie set of porcelain dolls welcomed you on a shelf, which jungkook jumped at. 

 creepy sounds alarmed you - louder giggling by a child, creaking floors, and unsettling music. you looked back and noticed that the attendant actually locked the front door, hearing the click of a key. no wonder there was a damn waiver.

 goosebumps popped up along your legs, as you shivered. you noticed that your arms weren't as freezing and realized that it was because you were still clutching onto jungkook.

 “oh, sorry!” you yelped, jumping back. 

 it seemed like jungkook was too busy scanning his surroundings, his fear growing with each passing second, despite just standing there. the haunted house had barely begun. he turned back to you, stone cold expression.

 “you won’t make fun of me?” he requested, slowly.

 “as long as you don’t make fun of me.”

 jungkook let out a sigh of relief. as a last resort, he checked the knob of the front door once more, just to see if escape was plausible. he fiddled and fiddled - still locked. 

 at the same time, the two of you met a shared understanding. jungkook held out his arm once more - whether it was for your safety or his own, it wasn’t clear - for you to grab and you did so. you were positive that his grip was even tighter than yours, but you bit back the complaint. poor guy was shaking, but you found it incredibly endearing. 

 “it’s just a fake house, let’s have fun,” you soothed, rubbing his arm playfully.

 he forced a chuckle. “alright, let’s go, princess.” it took a moment for you to realize that he was calling you princess in reference to your costume and not you.

 the two of you trekked forward into the first hallway, where every other lightbulb flickered on and off. several other portraits hung on the walls, depicting some sort of family in each one. the faces were all still scratched out.

 “cool, there’s a storyline or something,” you said, trying to break the tension.

 “AHH!”

 jungkook’s voice filled the hallway when a hand popped out of one of the portraits. you gasped loudly, nearly falling over. that was jump scare number one.

 when you both recovered, you couldn’t help but look at each other and laugh. 

 “i swear, y/n, what happens here stays between us,” he muttered, tugging for you to keep walking forward. you liked the way he took charge and held onto your wrist.

 you replied, “of course.”

 that is, you kept walking forward until you realized all of the doors were blocked off with caution tape. the haunted house was supposed to be one way and you were left confused. where were you supposed to go next? jungkook was wondering the same thing, as he looked around.

 “this is getting kinda weir - oh, shit.” his eyes widened when a new entryway appeared, just as he stepped on a loose plank of wood in the floor. it triggered the opening, revealing a smaller, darker hallway that seemed to be the next part of the house.

 your jaw nearly dropped to the ground. “nah. nuh uh, no way am i going in there!”

 “come on, you’re supposed to be the brave one out of the two of us here,” jungkook groaned, scratching his head.

 you were right. the ten bucks was already spent and the front door was locked. it wasn’t like there was anything going back now. you took a deep breath, imagining yourself in a far away paradise in front of the ocean instead of a creepy haunted house. when you opened your eyes, you had no choice but to shrug it off and pull jungkook into the new hallway.

 some sort of sound recording of whispers and giggling grew louder as you and jungkook crouched down to fit into the entryway. the hallway lead to just one room and as you approached it, the two of you jumped at the sudden sound of a scream that didn’t belong to the two of you.

 jungkook nearly squeezed the life out of you this time.

 “shit! ah, sorry, y/n!” he exclaimed, completely freaked out by the noise. you barely heard it, as you were screaming yourself. you were certain that your friends outside could hear your shared yelling, probably laughing their asses off. 

 the two of you hadn’t even reached the door yet and you saw that it was staged to look like a library of some sort. you and jungkook were practically holding onto each other for dear life now. you were so close to him that you could hear the beating of his heart. another small jump scare occurred when the books began moving on their own, vibrating in place as if possessed by a ghost.

 here, you nearly rammed into the taller man, having whipped around and forgetting he was right behind you. he caught you from toppling over, arms wrapped around your body, and you swore you were close enough to count the number of eyelashes on his lids. his look was intense and you felt dizzy, under a hypnosis that you’d never felt before. he didn’t let go and it wasn’t because of your frightening surroundings. 

 for once, an eerie peace wafted in the air, as silence spread. you and jungkook looked at each other, weary. 

 his lips parted slightly, as he refused to break his gaze. you could feel your heart beating louder and louder, like a relentless drum, and you hoped he wasn’t close enough to feel it. you could have melted into him at that moment, an unknown desire creeping up on you with jungkook just inches away. he was so. . . pretty. and you were drawn to him, a magnet. 

 “you know,” jungkook began, just below a whisper. “i’m kind of glad we did this.”

 you fought a shiver trailing up your spine. “what do you mean by that?” there was only one answer you wanted to hear. 

 you wondered why he wasn’t moving either, as you missed the way his eyes swept over your lips. this wasn’t good - if neither of you moved now, you were under a spell that released all common sense. you wanted to kiss him and you were afraid of getting let down.

 “y/n - “

 at that moment, an actor in a clown costume popped out from behind a bookshelf and a new door simultaneously opened to its left. this time, you and jungkook screamed at the top of your lungs and hand in hand, sprinted out of that door. 

 “eumph. . .jungkook, you’re a little too strong,” you whispered, the first excuse coming to mind, and he immediately loosened up.

 “sorry, sorry!” he apologized profusely. “that thing is going to kill us!”

 “koo, it’s just a costume!” you tried chasisting, despite being scared out of your mind.

 the two of you kept running until you found the next room, which was the kitchen. the cycle of jump scares and actors continued on, as your and jungkook’s shared unwavering nerves bonded you closer the entire time. at some point, both of your laughter filled the air.

 eventually, as soon as the exit sign was in sight, jungkook practically dragged you out with all his might. you were surprised when you met a stream of bright lights upon pushing the last, rusty door open and it turned out to be the outside world, instead of another hidden room or jump scare around the corner. jungkook sighed loudly, as the two of you made it out.

 the shit-eating grins of your friends greeted you. however, it didn’t seem like they were amused at the fright the haunted house gave you two. they all stood exactly where they left you, except they were now all staring intently. you wondered if your screams must have been that loud.

 “was it that bad?” doyeon sang and you eyed her with confusion.

 safe to say, you’d long turned stone cold sober, but were drunk on something else. a swarm of emotions settled at the pit of your stomach, before it was stripped away. you noticed that jungkook had finally broken away from you - his hand was clasped in yours the entire time, even upon exiting the haunted house. it took a second for both of you to notice, as a pink tint stained his cheeks and ears when he did. that was why your friends were grinning.

 “our turn!” seokmin yelled, causing jaehyun to groan and the rest of your friends to laugh at the pair.

 the attention was now off of you and jungkook, but your mind was fixated on the absence of jungkook’s touch for the rest of the night and how it almost felt like something you didn’t realize you needed.

 it seemed like the push and pull game with jungkook went on for a little too long and he found something new to play with. the sideways glances and lingering touches weren’t enough, but you didn’t know what to expect in the first place. the sight wasn’t betrayal by any means, but it didn’t mean that you didn’t harbour a pit of disappointment when you saw jungkook making out with another girl the very next day.

 “halloweekend” was every college student’s favourite made-up holiday, along with march madness and st. patrick’s day. okay, maybe the last one was somewhat of a real holiday, but you’d think it was the biggest deal in the world if you walked onto any college town’s streets during this coveted day. too early into the year, you wouldn’t know just quite yet, too fixated on how jam-packed halloweekend was. 

 you were planning to stay in the next night after the fair. it wasn’t common knowledge to you that you were apparently meant to continue partying into the weekend, even past actual halloween day. this news was rudely broken to you at six pm on that saturday, when a loud banging on the door interrupted your pedicure session with doyeon.

 it was like doyeon could smell her cousin’s antics from a mile away. her lips curved into a scowl, somehow already knowing that it was seokmin in the hallway without needing to be told. you swore that girl was psychic sometimes.

 “leave!” she shouted through the walls, putting down the cherry red nail polish back on the floor with a slam.

 the knocking persisted and doyeon sent you a pointed look when you stood up with a sigh. you sent her one back. at this point in the school year, the two of you were already able to communicate with nonverbal gestures. she resigned with her own sigh, as you continued walking towards the door. you were certain that the two of you were not going to be left alone, which left you with only one choice.

 looking through the peep hole, you burst out into laughter. you had no choice but to open the door.

 “what?” asked doyeon.

 upon swinging the door, her jaw fell. it was hard to not do so, when seokmin and jaehyun stood outside in the most ridiculous elf costumes. or, at least that’s what you assumed they were. seokmin appeared particularly enthusiastic with the most ridiculous grey beard hanging off his chin, its string tucked just underneath the impressively pointy magenta hat on his head. meanwhile, jaehyun looked more embarrassed than anything and you could tell whose idea this was.

 doyeon already had her hand up. “no - ”

 “hear us out - “

 “why would i hear out dopey and bashful?”

 you stifled a snort, stepping aside to let the two fools in. 

 jaehyun raised an eyebrow at doyeon. “those are snow white’s dwarves. wrong fantasy race.” he pointed to his fake ears. 

 she wasn’t listening. she sat in the same place with her arms folded across her chest and simply waited for the explanation.

 turned out that there was a costume contest being held at some frat house. seokmin already convinced yeri and jungkook apparently and thought it would be best to show up in person in order to coax you and doyeon out. 

 “it’s halloweekend! you thought the festivities were over?” he said. 

 it wasn’t too hard to convince the two of you, surprisingly. of course, when you heard jungkook was coming, that was all it took. on the other hand, seokmin bribed his cousin with some pre-rolls and soon, the four of you were on your merry way to meet your other friends. apparently, seokmin changed his pledge from kappa alpha psi to sigma chi (not that you knew the damn difference) all of a sudden and wanted to make a good impression with the whole costume thing.

 dryly, you murmured to doyeon, “you’re so easy to bribe.”

 “what? seokmin has a really good plug and he only gets the pricey shit.” doyeon shrugged.

 you weren’t particularly interested in competing in the contest, so you threw on yeri’s bunny ears from last night and called it a day. 

 the party ended up being just as bustling as the one the night prior. the walls danked like nobody’s business and you felt the humidity of the room as soon as you stepped inside, as there was barely room to walk with the sheer amount of bodies filling the space. the frat house was definitely grimier than last night and you had to hold your breath moving through various vape clouds. seokmin, being a poor freshman pledge, told you and your friends that he would catch up to you later on, as he was assigned door duty.

 “yeri and jungkook are probably somewhere around here,” jaehyun said, voice at the loudest volume you’ve ever heard his quiet self talk at, as he fought to be heard against the booming bass of the party’s speakers.

 it was easy to find yeri, who was sitting on the couch with her fellow cheer team members or model un students - whatever the hell it was from the endless list of extracurriculars that she was involved in.

 “you convinced them!” yeri exclaimed, pleased to see her two roommates out and about.

 jungkook, on the other hand? even easier to find. it was almost impossible to miss the way he sat on a poolside chair with jung eunbi sprawled on his lap, with her tongue down his throat.

 the living area was situated right next to the sliding doors that led to the backyard. as soon as you approached yeri, you could see outside through the floor to ceiling windows and ultimately, the view of him.

 maybe it wasn’t that easy. there was at least fifty people in the backyard and about a dozen more lounging about in the pool. a volleyball strung across the middle and neon lights installed underneath the water shone an impressive array of amethyst, sky blue and bubblegum, reminding you of birthday cake sprinkles. the way your cheeks heated up certainly wasn’t as sweet, but you allowed yourself to get lost in the swirl of led lights to keep your eyes off of jungkook. the speakers outdoors were just as loud as the ones inside, as the bass of some migos song boomed and crawled underneath your skin. 

 “jeez, another one?” jaehyun mused aloud and it forced you to come back to reality.

 yeri turned around and upon noticing jungkook, clicked her tongue. “what the hell?”

 only she seemed to notice your dejected look, but you’d already turned away and pretended to be busy taking a sip of the disgusting jungle juice the frat offered. the drink stung your throat, but not as much as the sight outside stung.

 “what do you mean another one?” doyeon asked, turning to jaehyun.

 “sorry, that sounded objectifying. but,” he shrugged. “kook’s just been on a roll these past few weekends, if you catch my drift.”

 oh.

 you felt your chest crackling like fresh ice, each crevice burning you - mostly with embarrassment, at that. you didn’t have to look at yeri to know that her expression was strewn into one of pity. again, you reminded yourself that this wasn’t betrayal. it was just a silly little crush. jungkook didn’t owe you anything and it wasn’t like you voiced any of these potential feelings to anyone, despite yeri’s encouragement.

 those potential feelings were definitely gnawing at your stomach at this point, as you spared another glance out the window. 

 eunbi was a pretty girl, a sophomore that was the student union treasurer or some shit like that. she was one of those people that everyone on campus knew, somehow amassing a healthy couple of thousand followers on her socials. you remember her from orientation week, giving out t-shirts to freshmen with a blinding white smile. it was the same smile pressing into jungkook’s lips and that’s when you had to turn away again.

 “should we play some pong?” you suggest aloud to no one in particular.

 jaehyun and doyeon were immersed in a heated debate about the moon landing after spotting someone in an astronaut costume. meanwhile, yeri simply stood there in awkward silence and tried to not make it obvious that she noticed the dejected look in your eyes. the three turned their heads towards you and immediately agreed, moving to take over the mostly empty dining table on the other side of the room - thankfully, far away from the backyard.

 “i don’t want to drink beer,” groaned yeri, as you all took your positions around the table.

 sipping on beer turned into taking half shots of smirnoff for each cup during the game. given what you just saw outside, you agreed to the rules without hesitation. 

 as the game begun, you thought back to the past month, getting to know jungkook and his friends. the six of you all saw each other at least once a week and even more often in smaller numbers. it was easy when you all lived in stratton hall. seokmin would sometimes join you and doyeon for breakfast in the dining hall. you and yeri went to the gym a few times, around the same time jungkook would be in the middle of his workout and there was always room for chatting. 

 during the times where it was the six of you, usually out at parties like this or even group study sessions, jungkook never failed to sit next to you. he never failed to joke with you and defend you from seokmin’s teasing.

 maybe you really were looking too much into it. you swore there were lingering looks and one too many late night text conversations about nothing. jaehyun was your partner for the pong game and while he took his shot, you peeked at your phone to reread the last thread of texts you had with jungkook from last night, after the fair.

 saturday november 1   [3:35 am] jungkook 🍓: dude theres like 3 ppl passed out in our hallway lmao did you guys get in okay? [3:36 am] you: yes worry wart haha we made it and didn;t trip over any drunk bodies [3:36 am] jungkook 🍓: WHATEVER  [3:36 am] jungkook 🍓: jaehyun and i almost died getting into our dorm so [3:37 am] you: well you almost died in the haunted house today so congrats [3:37 am] you: you cheated death twice today!! [3:37 am] jungkook 🍓: you’re evil let’s not talk about that place ever again [3:37 am] you: i wish i had my phone to take a picture of ur face it would have been golden blackmail material [3:37 am] jungkook 🍓: [attachments: 1] [3:38 am] you: don’t pout at me :(((( that’s dirty koo [3:38 am] jungkook 🍓: because you’re evil [3:37 am] jungkook 🍓: sleep well princess peach  

but, that wasn’t even the end of the conversation because you and jungkook began exchanging tiktoks and memes for the next hour after that. you wanted to bang your head on the nearest wooden surface. being awful at pong helped alleviate the desire, as with each missed shot came vodka.

 “you guys suck,” yeri cackles, watching another one of her balls sink into the final red solo cup.

 jaehyun groaned next to you, but he was just as bad as the game as you were. you smiled sheepishly at him.

 he held out his hand. “good game. we tried our hardest,” jaehyun said, being a good sport about it. he also took the courtesy of taking the final shot just before that and you silently thanked the heavens. 

 you laughed and shook it. the laugh that came out of your mouth sounded like you needed water, as you were certainly drunk after losing so badly. one of your hands was gripping the ebony of the dining table, as your eyes swept your surroundings for the nearest sink. 

 “i’ll be right back!” you exclaimed to your friends and already left before any of them could offer their companionship.

 the song playing in the background was that one katy perry song about dancing on table tops and funnily enough, there was a gaggle of girls dressed up as charlie’s angels doing so. you prayed that none of them would fall on top of you as you squeezed across the room.

 unlike last night, you learned your lesson and did not wear a ridiculous pair of heels. you hadn’t even given your costume a second thought when seokmin and jaehyun barged into your dorm earlier that evening. yet, somehow, you were having a harder time walking tonight.

 you thought it was just the bass of the music throwing you off guard, but you realized you were genuinely swaying back and forth a few seconds later. 

 “shit! fuck!”

 it was like one of those slow motion videos you’ve seen online of disaster striking out of nowhere. a car crash or something. you saw the big, burly guy come your way without even looking straight and you shouldn’t have trusted him to get out of the way. he crashed into you before you could even process what was happening - hell, your swaying back and forth made it so that you were practically leaning into it.

 with a gasp, your entire upper body was soaked in the disgusting jungle juice that was offered to you earlier. in a murky maroon colour, it not only seeped through your white shirt and stained it, but your bra was now visible. you only noticed this because everyone around you decided to stare right into your chest.

 “shoot, i’m sorry -” the guy began, but he was slurring and obviously not in the right state of mind.

 you stuttered, feeling heat creep up on your cheeks at the feeling of dozens of pairs of eyes on you. in your inebriated state, you didn’t even know what to say. you’d never had so much unwanted attention in your life before and you thought you were about to shrivel up and, well, die. 

 “i - “

 then, you felt something heavy drape over your shoulders and the scent of sandalwood and whisky filled your senses. when you looked up to see what it was - or rather, who - he already had your wrist clasped in his grip and was tugging you to another room.

 jungkook.

 he was leading you through the house and you heard him cuss when the two of you stumbled upon an insane line for the bathroom. jungkook looked back at you for the first time, concern glimmering in his eyes. you looked down and it was his denim jacket that he put over your shoulders.

 “one sec, there’s gotta be a free bathroom upstairs,” he says calmly, peering over to the staircase. “are you okay to go up the stairs?”

 “mhmm,” is all that you could muster, too stunned at what just happened and how he just appeared out of nowhere.

 jungkook gave you one of those boyish, crooked smiles that you liked. he gently led you to the staircase, one hand on your back. 

 “where’d you come from?” you asked, as if you didn’t already know.

 he answered while still steering you up each step. “i was in the backyard. i was waiting for you guys to all come and when i came inside, yeri said that you went to get some water.”

 when he led you into the bathroom, you noticed that he had a bottle of water in his hand. jungkook noticed and chuckled.

 “i figured you’d have a hard time looking for it. the frat is kinda stingy with water and i wouldn’t trust their sinks.”

 you managed to snort. “again, always giving me beverages.”

 jungkook put the toilet seat down for you to sit on and handed you the water bottle. earlier, you didn’t get a chance to even notice his attire. he was wearing just plain blue jeans and a white tank top with a flannel around his waist, maybe his hair styled slightly different.

 “koo, are you. .  .a plumber?”

 he let out a bark of laughter at that. “no, stupid.” jungkook points to his hair slicked with pomade and his discarded denim jacket on your shoulders. “a greaser, actually. i put all my effort into mario and got lazy today.”

 “same.” you shrugged and pointed to your forgotten bunny ears. 

 jungkook let out a fake yawn. “booooring. recycling your friend’s costume. super lame, y/n,” he teased and you smacked his arm for it.

 “you’re literally just wearing denim, don’t talk to me about being boring,” you shot back.

 jungkook had obviously just found random clothes in his closet and put hair product in, calling it a day. you figured that the invite was also last minute for him. 

 “are you a john travolta greaser or a matt dillon one?”

 “obviously matt dillon. he’s way cooler, “ jungkook scoffed. “but, i got summer nights on my playlist and i promise you, i’ll never skip that shit. best song ever.”

 the two of you fell into your usual banter for the next few minutes, conversation easy as ever. jungkook poked a little bit of fun at you for what happened downstairs, which you accepted with a huff. 

 “halloweekend is not for the weak,” he chuckled, leaning against the counter. 

 his bare arms made for a clear view of his tattoos, which were rapidly increasing since the start of the school year alone. you tried not to stare, instead pretending to find the marble tiles of the bathroom fascinating.

 you looked at his denim jacket around your shoulders and cursed aloud. “oh fuck. i’m sorry, jungkook, there’s a bit of jungle juice on it - “

 “it’s fine, really,” jungkook interrupted without hesitation. “there was no way i was gonna leave you down there like that.”

 the realization that jungkook also saw your soaked shirt was a bit sobering and it also made you remember that the two of you were sitting in a random bathroom. the pause also seemed to help jungkook in remembering as well and he pushed off the counter. 

 jungkook untied the flannel around his waist and held it out to you. “here, get dressed. i’m sure you don’t want to walk around with red 40 all over your body,” he chuckled.

 you blinked, not expecting the gesture. “oh. shit - thank you, jungkook,” you said, genuinely grateful.

 he grinned. “and drink that water. don’t worry, i’ll be at your service all night to give you more beverages, milady.”

 “whatever.” you playfully rolled your eyes, but couldn’t stop the matching grin forming at the corner of your lips.

 “want me to wait for you?” jungkook asked and you shook your head, as he’d already done more than enough. “okay. i’ll be downstairs where the others are.”

 the end of halloweekend was certainly not as fun as the beginning, but you left that party smelling of jungkook’s cologne. even after you returned to your friends, jungkook waved you off when you tried handing his jacket back to him and said to keep it if you got cold. the rest of the night wasn’t as eventful, thankfully, and you nearly forgot about what you saw earlier. 

 it did help that you never heard about eunbi ever again, so you figured it was just some sort of drunken makeout session. you and jungkook continued to operate as normal, but for the time being, you didn’t allow yourself to get your hopes again. this was college and people just did that sort of thing, the “casual” thing. you accepted it and even began to indulge in it yourself as the year went on. 

 all in all, you decided you didn’t need a relationship right now either, between school and transitioning into this new life. jungkook was your friend for now and soon, would become your best friend. of course, that’s where it always gets complicated.

⇢ 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: @fancypeacepersona @petiteparler @lanie97 @httpjeonlicious @bleumornings @rpwprpwprpwprw @kikiflwr @kissyfacekoo @knivesdoingcartwheels @joyjunk @jksusawife @haru-jiminn @fancypeacepersona @softhaes @whoa-jo @kooloveys @mar-lo-pap @seokjinthescientist (reply to be tagged and if i forgot to tag you!)

[niyafics]

: •̩̩͙ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ 𝙨𝙥𝙤𝙞𝙡𝙚𝙙 ⋆｡°  •̩̩͙ ໋:🦁

chap3 : say the word.

chap1 here!

chap2 here!

frat!old money!paige bueckers x reader AU

˳ ⋅ ⊹ wc: 3.7k

˚ ⋅ ⊹ cw: swearing, implied sex, perfect angst,golden retriever x black cat dynamic, kissingggg, issues ( lmk if i miss something. )

˚ ⋅ ⊹(a/n): lol hiiiii *tucks hair behind ear* :*

AT the table, Paige barely speaks. The playful energy she usually sports is smoldered. You stare at the charcoal colored wood that’s been carved into a long, rectangular, dining room table. Fancy designs are engraved around the rim. Different-sized forks and knives are folded in a cloth napkin, like you’re at a restaurant and not someone’s home. The only reason you know what half of them are used for is because of your job.

Paige sat across from Bob, you next to her, and the other three people your age, across from their fathers, next to Mr. Bueckers. It was adolescent, you thought—like they were misbehaved children, forced to sit down and get along.

The only people talking are Bob and his colleagues. Crunching numbers and planning more things, while humbly bragging behind it all.

It felt like that was the point of the whole feast. Showing off, smarts, or wealth and their golden children. A steaming plate is placed in front of everyone by a server, savory smells waft up your nose. Paige is less than enamored by the platter, picking at the vegetables, scarcely actually eating, or even looking at you. For once, she wasn’t trying to draw attention.

The food is delicious and warm, yet you’re chewing nervously, unable to stop feeling eyes on you, having no choice but to greet some of the looks with an awkward, side smile.

You feel a hand grab your free one sitting in your lap. It’s Paige’s familiar fingers embracing yours.

Bob and Paige are glaring at each other: The longer the blonde girl doesn’t speak, the more he’s burning holes into her. Finally, after a few quiet bites, he interacts with someone other than his brothers.

“I’m glad you two can join us.” He wipes his mouth, finishing chewing before continuing. “I wanted to introduce your guest to the Blue.” The Blue was referring to their high-profile members. It felt weird and cultish to you. Paige’s eyes briefly hit the back of her head, in annoyance, still she complies.

“(Y/N), these are my dad’s frat brothers. Like uncles to me.” She nods towards them while looking at you. Her face has an apologetic, embarrassed glaze to it. “This is (Y/N), my…” She paused, dramatically letting the weight lay thick on the room. You, Kassie, and Bob are all on edge for a moment.

“Friend!” You immediately yelp, maybe too loud. Giving Paige a funny look for the dragging answer, she’s leaning back, smug, at your flustered outburst, watching you stumble. Your face is flushed with heat, wondering what she was about to say. “Friend…Nice to meet you.”

The men nod authoritatively in your direction. Feeling relief set in, from them not tearing at you, like you’d expected. Kassie sneers at you, across from her father, who is entertained by your presence. He asks the most questions. From your major to your grade point average, your academic achievements. The more you answered, the easier it got.

Mr. Talfold isn’t as intimidating as Mr. Bueckers. He’s a chubby man who bellows at every tiny joke you make. This makes Bob and the other two men grin and add in. The group is astonished by your independence, sharing widened, amazed eyes when you say how you pay your bills and don’t have a trust fund. They each make a quip about their children never doing such.

Paige is the only one who can laugh at it, as the boys are starting to join Kassie with their irritated glances. You don’t let it faze you, you weren’t there to impress them anyway. Or anyone, except maybe... Your eyes flicker to the Bueckers’. The girl's warm palm against your own dampens the anxiety.

You mention your leap year, and their faces turn slightly sour. Paige, who’s been watching you handle this whole new environment forced at you, with nothing but adoration behind her powdered colored eyes, tenses up, your confidence dimming. She pushes back her shoulders, ready to defend you. Bob does instead.

“I wouldn’t worry too much about it. (Y/N) is very responsible and capable,” He gives you a quick upwards curl of the mouth and takes another bite from his plate. The men make noises of agreement. “Right?”

“Exactly, sir.” Your hair bobs up and down. Mr. Talfold speaks to you while chewing.

“I’m impressed, truly, if your grades were as good as you say they were,” He belly laughs and continues, “you’re exactly what we’re looking for in The Blue.” Kassie almost chokes on her food, one of the sons patting her back.

“Daddy-“ She begins to whine, and Mr. Talfold lifts his hand to stop her, firmly. The brunette is angrily biting her words this time. Paige looks at you with excitement, like things are just getting good. You’re biting your lip, eyes darting, trying to gauge all the emotions from what the round man had said, obviously from too much aged wine. Bob raises a brow, not in question, but in thought.

“I completely agree…” Paige puts on a fake engaged tone, sitting up in her seat again, now enthusiastically shoving vegetables in her mouth. “Don’t you, Dad?” Paige has that troublemaking glint back on her beautiful face, and you frown, brows scrunched. The next one she gives you tells you to trust her. Your pulse thumps, waiting for the reaction. Chest tight, hoping that you secretly did win Bob over, not for academic success, though.

Everyone is staring at him for an answer. Except for Paige, grinning at her dish, squeezing your thigh now, under the table. He’s looking into his daughter with a suspicious scowl, trying to see what trouble was brewing behind her. You’re wondering the same thing. His shoulders shrugged cautiously.

“We’ll see.”

AFTER dinner, Paige sneaks the both of you off while the Blue discusses responsibilities, she should’ve been listening to, like the other silver spoons. You wondered how many times she’d skipped out on the most crucial part of the get-together, for everyone to not bat an eye. Bob, of course, noticed. Having a disgruntled gape that Paige shrugged off, as she guided you towards the familiar front of the house, you gave a tiny wave goodbye, to try not to seem rude. Paige also could’ve cared less for polite exits.

The blonde is asking if you’re ready to go while taking her keys from her pocket and unlocking the car’s doors with a satisfying click. She goes on about possible plans for the next time she sees you, which she asks if she ‘will see you again, right?’; that approval seeking back in her voice, while holding the front entrance open for you.

You’re fogged with the question of what the hell that was, still impressed by managing to not make a complete ass of yourself. Maybe your parents forcing you into middle school debate club, and student council paid off.

You’re in autopilot, walking towards the sports vehicle and slipping inside onto the cooled leather seats. The sun was setting a pink over the quiet neighborhood. It had to be after 7pm at least. Paige isn’t close behind, looking amused at her chaos. Your eyes peer out against the window to search for her, suddenly socially burnt out, ready to sit in the shower and overthink this whole thing.

Kassie and she are standing in the doorway together, too close for your liking. That feeling you couldn’t make out at first, when you saw them together nights before, is back. It’s clear as day, jealousy. You’re holding your breath trying to listen in. The girl who detested you spoke lowly and soft to Paige. Inaudible. It feels tense.

Paige seems exhausted, running her hand down her face, replying plainly to whatever whispered, with almost a groan.

“Dude, I’m not dealing with this right now…” Paige is loud against the window muffle, stepping away from the short figure, which sets Kassie off even more. She reaches to grab for Paige, but she’s already down the small porch, toward you. You lean over the armrest, trying to increase your view and hearing. Paige ended the conversation, yet the brunette whines on behind the tinted glass. You can only make out her shouting at Paige’s back, about something, someone, being in the way.

Too smart to be oblivious, hot embarrassment drops in your stomach. Even impressing the cult leaders wasn’t enough to stop her. You had something she wanted. Paige. It wasn’t hard to guess why. The softness in her touch, the goofy tug in her expressions. But it was deeper than Paige being dorky. It was the money stacked underneath her in promise. Kassie felt her pampered fantasy being threatened by the working class. You grinned to yourself now.

Paige pops open the door, and leans down with the same silly smile you’d been fantasizing embracing infront of all of those gold and blue morons. Kassie had just been background noise. Knowing you’re in earshot, she stops herself in her tracks, and eyes you down until the door closes, you away from view. You can’t help but stare back, even through the tint, you feel Kassie can see you, that she knows you’re peering back.

I got the girl, you tell her telepathically. Paige is gripping your inner leg again, as she reverses with an exhausted sigh, as if to confirm it.

THE sound of her profusely apologizing again breaks you out of your thoughts.

“It’s okay, princess,” you mumble with a soft chuckle, watching other foreign cars pass, letting you know you weren’t home yet.

“No, it’s not. They’re assholes. Kassie..” She violently rolls her eyes, grunting, fists tight. “I know what it looks like between us, it’s-“

“You don’t have to explain anything to me.” You shrug.

“Why not?” Her head darts to look at you from the road so quickly, the blond hair moves with her. You can’t help but burst out laughing.

“We’re not together or anything-“

“Who says we won’t be?”

She stops at the red light. Scarlet from the break light before you illuminate your faces, as they try to read each other. Your mouth is still tugged upward, trying to soften the seriousness in Paige’s. Eyebrows drawn, puppy eyes on perfect display for you to take. Her voice is slow, sultry, making you warm all over.

“Just don’t want you to worry about her, I…” You find yourself taking a shaky breath with her. “I like you. That’s all.” Paige throws up a quick smile, and the light is green. Then you’re both staring forward again.

It’s quiet for the rest of the ride, besides the low sound of Paige’s playlist. You look at fluorescent signs against the night sky, flying past you. Paige’s fingers are digging into the armrest leather, obviously still thinking about how you may be feeling. You place your hand on top of hers, slightly nervous, it would be an embarrassing attempt right now. She relaxes.

You finally arrive home and you’re thrilled to be inside, still you linger in Paige’s passenger seat. She leans back, as if to get one more soak of your presence, rubbing her hands in her hair. Once you unbuckle yourself, you lean over to surprise her with a kiss, but she does the surprising, grabbing you up, almost over the armrest.

“Come inside.” Your body speaks for you. Begs for you. For some reason, there was no stopping you around Paige. You couldn’t ration it out anymore by trying to stay nonchalant. Since you saw her pearled smile in the bar, you’ve wanted her to tear past the facade you put up.

“Are you sure?” She muffles out before pushing back against your mouth, taking off her seatbelt feverishly anyway.

“Shut up.” You both laugh.

PAIGE lurched over you from behind, hands around your midsection, while you unlocked your entrance. Her gentle, excited lips pecking and playfully biting the side of your neck. It sends tickles down your spine that you find yourself still giggling from as she throws you onto your bed. Your bed isn’t far from your couch, and your kitchen is super close by too. She barely notices. Clawing at your clothes like they’re offending her.

Sex with her feels as if she’s being rewarded. A thirst quenched. You’re soft with sweat, arousal is thick in the air. You can’t stop replaying the grunts and growls from Paige. The profanities she moaned into your heat, between your legs.

Blankets are dragged onto the floor. You lie naked next to the other, so close your skin sticks where it touches. Neither cares. You find yourself studying the silhouette of the cute woman quietly snoring into your sheets. Rehearsing the spots where your lips worked, love bites and flushed heat rushed to. You stare at Paige, your heart pounding to kiss her again. A million times. Everywhere.

Thinking of all the ways you’d do it until your eyelids fall heavy into a slumber. For the first time in months, you dream.

YOU wake up to the smell of something burning, immediately flinging yourself upwards. The landlord wasn’t kind enough to upgrade the fire system, so any real smoke would leave your place drenched in water. A guilty Paige stands in your kitchen, technically across from your bed, slowly turning around, with a grimace on her face, bracing to be scolded.

One hand holds a spatula, the other a plate with what seems to be a pancake on top. It’s burnt to a crisp. Your shoulders slump in half relief and amusement.

“Sorry, I’ve never made anything that didn’t go in an oven or microwave…” She blushes. You shake your head with a light laugh, sleepily, checking the time. 2 hours before you’re back to work.

You throw on your robe, hanging from the bed frame, and stride up to her. Grabbing the plate to dump the pancake, she obediently sits on a barstool nearby, at the island that doubled as your dining table.

Paige is in her t-shirt and boxers from off your floor, a scrunchie from your bathroom counter in her hair lazily. She was more than comfortable at your place. You cringe a little thinking of what she might’ve seen or dug into, then you relax, once you glance up at her, wiping batter off the counter.

Her blue gaze peers at you. Round and full, following with adoration as you pick up her mess. She’s oblivious to you doing so. You don’t think she knows she made one at all.

Paige’s stare is wrapping around you like a warm hug as you turn into the cupboards and drawers for two bowls and spoons. You don’t meet them until you’re pouring the milk in, almost stupidly overfilling your bowl.

“Thank you.” She blushes, you tilt your head to her, and take a seat on the plastic stool next to her. Both were eating in silence, stealing secret glances at one another. Paige swivels in her seat until your bare outer legs are flush. Finally, she speaks.

“I could get used to this…” Paige hums, putting her heavy head onto your shoulder, and you let yours lean slightly on hers.

“Used to what?”

She gestures around. You snort a laugh. As if she’d prefer your 12-inch apartment space over castle Bueckers. The sharp uncomfortable springs in your mattress, opposed to hers that cradles and sucks you in.

“I’m serious. I think I could live anywhere, as long as you’re there rolling your eyes next to me.” She teases, leaving a fat smooch against your cheek. You bump her shoulder with yours playfully, flush faced. It takes everything in you not to cut your eyes again. She’s learning you. Getting closer than anyone in a long time. You’re suddenly anxious you might screw this up. Things never stayed good for long.

As if on cue, Paige’s phone, face up between you both, buzzes. You’re the first to look at it. You don’t mean to, your curiosity just instinctively eats at you. It’s Kassie.

Kassie Talfold

taking out the trash?

She doesn’t wait for a response to text again. The phone jolts.

Kassie Talfold

mr b is looking for you. thought you were with me. but i told him ur prob in the slums again? :)

The words are so venomous that they leave a sour taste in your mouth. You suddenly have no appetite. Paige looks up from her bowl, still smirking, to see what stopped your shoving, that she’s beginning to find comfort in.

“What?” Her brown brow strings upwards before looking down at the phone, which pings again with a second reminder. She huffs deeply, looking at you apologetically before picking it up cautiously. She grits her teeth as she opens the thread, like she had gotten terrible news. Paige’s eyes soften as she turns towards you, setting the phone down again, without replying.

“This stops today, okay? She’ll never say a fucking thing about you again, I promise. Say the word.” Paige’s slim fingers grip the sides of your thighs affectionately, seafoam colored orbs pleading with you to peer into them. You do, with pain you’re trying to hide under a blank expression. She seeps in you.

“It’s no big deal, it’s exactly what I meant by we’re too different, too…” You shake off the words, turning back to your now fruity-pebble-flavored milk. Poking at it with your spoon seemingly absent minded. Thinking of so much. A strong desire to cry from being reminded of the feeling of being an outcast bubbles in your chest. You thought you escaped that as a teen.

“No, hush, we are just alike.” Paige refuses it, turning you back towards her, you look back at her with slight surprise. Her pretty, perfect teeth lined up for you in an expression full of feeling like they seemed to be every time you moved your head to look. “You practically melted into me last night. We’re one.” She takes your hand, making you drop your spoon, and places it on her chest. Paige’s grip is tight, desperate for you to get it. To see something.

“Don’t shut me out now.”

“I am not...” You shake away a thought. Paige pulls you into her arms to hold.

“They’ll all see what I see. You’re with me now. They just have to accept it. Accept how amazing you are.” She mostly speaks to herself. Convincing herself. Pulling back, you scan her face. Searching for something. Some doubt, some sign that all of this was an elaborate lie to get in your pants. But she was searching for you too. Searching for you to trust her. To give in, like she had. Paige was generous, confident, free, in more ways than socially and financially. Naive.

“Why? Why make me fit?”

Paige shakes her head.

“You never needed to. It’s perfect. You don’t have to fit into shit. You’re the whole damn picture.” She rambles it out like it’s some amazing realization she’s just made. You sit dumbfounded, never being seen in this light. Never sure someone could be so..passionate about…you.

Paige’s phone is going off. This caller has a personalized alarm on the blonde's phone that sounds like a blaring siren. As if meant to spike anxiety. It makes you sit straight. Yes, it’s Bob.

Even with a phone call, he’s able to knock Paige’s attitude down a dozen pegs. She answers the phone with a ‘Yes?’, looking at you apologetically. You feel your moments with her nearing an end. It’s fine, you tell yourself, you have work anyway.

Of course, after the call, Paige is rushing to get dressed. She had missed yet another meeting or something of importance, but Bob wasn’t as nice this time. You’re halfway hoping he doesn’t think you purposely made Paige skip, you playfully poke fun at her for not telling you she had something important.

“Importance is subjective, it wasn’t as important as being next to you naked.” She grins, you blush and smile back, pinching her cheek. You’re both walking towards the door, Paige pats her pockets frantically for her keys, and you hand her them out of your robe pocket.

“On the floor.” That’s where she had threw them when you’d passionately burst in together the night before.

“You’re an angel.” She kisses you sweetly on the mouth, her toned arms wrapping around your waist one more time, lingering. You push her out the door, not wanting to see her go.

“And you’re late.”