#also jon made a lil cameo here ^^

[mayplantstarrwaters]

its the day of the fish....the chrisp

[tiafrye]

Your average* Breton

* - but not quite

I like to joke every now and then about Darien's clones populating Tamriel (because ESO NPCs are made with character creator and its assets, which is not much to begin with, and most of the breton are very similar; sometimes even rocking the same hairstyle), but the thing is - with Darien it's almost intended? Let me explain.

He's standing next to an NPC trader that could be his relative here!

I am replaying the base game right now and this is my second ever time letting Gloria Fausta live. I confess, I just really wanted more dialogue. On my first time 'saving' her back in 2015, I believe, I didn't catch that extra Stormhaven encounter. It's in Shinji's Scarp, which is a post-Wayrest location, and can be easily missed. Both characters being there is also tied to Gloria's survival.

(Missed opportunity to do a cameo-encounter like this in Alik'r as well IMO, since he decides to join the Fighters Guild after Rivenspire and the Guild holds the Council of Province Generals there if player is from Covenant? Unless there's one and no one found it yet.)

Back to Gloria. She has a lot to say about Darien even back in Glenumbra, but this particular dialogue scratched me because of her in-universe comment about him being average (and unfaithful but that's the fact for another day, another post, another deep dive).

And by all intents and purposes, he's average in how he looks. Given his hidden characteristics, design-wise he could've been made a blonde with striking bright eyes to match the light within but... he's just a lil guy. Hell, he's voiced by the actor who voices a huge chuck of background NPCs in TES titles. You get used to this voice even before you meet Darien.

Yet upon hearing Jon Curry's voice from an NPC in a full ebony armor (placeholder for the auroran armor) on a recording of player running trough Shimmerine during some preview event, I knew who I'm looking at. Instantly.

(What vid I could find now was from London preview and it doesn't have VO, but the one I watched 7 years ago was voiced; maybe from a different preview?)

Our average* breton has Personality, with a capital P. And style.

In case you've missed, NPCs in ESO usually have a template - one complete look they keep regardless of the situation (there are exceptions, for example Crafty Lerisa and her disguises), but not Darien. Darien has an entire catwalk worth of outfits based on his current employment and more. 3 for the Base Game, 5 if we count Northpoint disguise and its iconic half naked version + 2 in Summerset. It's way outside the box of what you'd expect from a guy who looks like half of Tamriel. But also...

He's loud, he's goofy, he's performative, he jokes around and shows-off. He's seemingly having fun in most dire situations (we'll talk about 'seemingly' part later as well). It's almost like he... wants to leave an impression. He wants to be remembered. And he is remembered. By his ex, who's smitten the moment they're reunited, even though she's the one who scolds him. By Alinon, by Skordo, by Gabrielle, by that bosmer gal in scribing questline who saw him once.

By you.

In real life you'd see a person like him across the room immediately and would be greeted with a smile. And you would see that smile first, not his average appearance.

I already mentioned his protagonist-like vibe in my previous post. This aside, Darien is just... lights up the place he occupies. I've never seen more joy from an NPC in ESO towards my own character. It makes you feel appreciated and cared for in his company. You have to earn his appreciation gradually from Glenumbra to Coldharbour, of course, but it's worth it in the end.

So... not quite average. Far, far from it actually.

Dammit, I love him so much.

[typhos-c-dragon]

OKAY HOLY SHIT SO HERE'S MY HONEY QUEEN THOUGHTS BABES

Jeff ending the title song with a flat "JOY" made me actually cackle out loud, that was incredible.

River Monroe my beloved, he's a precious lil lad and I love him <3333

I feel like no one's mentioning that we got a maiden name reveal for Linda? Her dad's name is Roman Murray!

Linda's parental favoritism makes me wanna throw hands <3

Zoey calling Linda a boomer was hysterical, holy shit

Zoey outing her brother to their homophobic grandmother for extra inheritance money also made me wanna throw hands <3 I mean, fuck, Starkid sure knows how to get me to feel Rage over a character.

Canonical Stinky Man Malone™

Okay so genuinely, I'm not sure whether I prefer Latte Hatte or Queen B, because both songs are absolute bangers. I think Latte Hatte is a bit catchier, and Lauren is a surprisingly good rapper, so I think they're tied. Also the videos for both songs were wonderful, especially Queen B, like fuck man, go off.

The Langs said "tonight we give you not one, but two Paul cameos, heehee hoohoo!" and I thank them for that.

Nick as Hidgens was such an unexpected delight, he plays the part so well.

I was not expecting so much anti-cop rhetoric in this episode, but truly, I am not complaining. That scene with Sam and River in the bathroom was chilling.

Fuck dude, that fight between Zoey and Linda? Perfectly suspenseful. I was so sure for a second that Linda would be the one to die in the rafters. Although I feel like they kinda,,, brushed over Linda having 3 broken fingers?? Like, did no one notice how fucked up her hand was?

God, Linda's voicemail to Gerald near the end? Fuck OFF, I can't believe I actually got emotional for Linda for a second, that was genuinely heartbreaking.

I don't really have a super solid opinion on Gerald as a character yet, but I do think it's sweet how much he truly loves Linda. I actually went "aww!" out loud when he called her his honey queen, that was cute.

Y'all the moment I realized how the story was gonna end as Roman was driving Linda out into the Witchwood was indescribable. Like, I remembered Zoey's line about how "every winner of the Honey Queen pageant left town", and I lost my fucking MIND.

Everything about the ending was just,,, MM, so good. The horrifying grossness of all the dead pigs, Jon's chilling performance, the return of Lauren's flawless Horror Movie Scream™, Nibbly and his abhorrent fucking voice and presence, just the way all the subtle foreshadowing paid off????? God, it's so good. What an ending.

Nibbly Ditty was a pretty catchy little bop, but I was a bit more transfixed by Snurt 3: Snurt Strikes Back™ (I'm never letting this meme die <3)

SUPPLIES ARE LIMITED, USE THE CODE "CRAFTCLASS" FOR 100% OFF YOUR ORDER

[birdroutledge-archive]

lol I already lost 2 followers for my GOT spam OH WELL but OK last post for now I just need to vomit out my thoughts and reactions for (my second viewing of) the whole episode so imma just do that now and put it under the cut here we go yeet (LOOOOOONG post warning)

the updated intro is SPICY I like it

the little boy climbing all over just had me all :’) thinking about bb bran and arya letting him go in front of her bc she remembered trying to see robert & everyone in the pilot :’’’’)

the fact that jon wasn't specifically looking for arya in the crowd when they rode in is bullshit

tyrion & varys banter is the best and that's why they're one of my brotps

bran kind of smiles when he first sees jon?? this is probably the most emotion we’ll get out of him for the rest of the show

lyanna mormont has the biggest balls of anyone on this damn show

honestly?? jon didn't need to bend the knee to dany after she saw the white walkers and the northerners absolutely have a right to be angry with jon and not trust dany at this point even though they need her armies and shit but I hope they don't drag out the conflict just for the sake of conflict like if they still have the northerners not liking dany there better be a legit reason

“it had its moments” lmfao forreal fuck joffrey tho

idk if Tyrion’s getting dumber or most other characters are getting smarter but it shows

jon & arya’s reunion is my favorite part of this episode idc about anything else��

I fucking hate qyburn

and euron I hope yara kills his annoying bitch ass

bronn might be a selfish fuck but when it comes down to it there's no way he's gonna turn on jaime or tyrion right??

cersei’s drinking again so is she not pregnant?? I am confusion

mac from always sunny made a cameo!! that I def caught the first time around and not after he posted about it on instagram

the theon greyjoy redemption tour is in full swing again and im here for it

“what is dead may never die” “but kill the bastards anyway” yasssss 

ugh I love ser davos he’s such a dad

“what if he doesn’t want me to!” jon is so dumb I love him

jon trying to ride the dragon and almost falling off every 10 seconds is a big mood

“we could stay a thousand years, no one would find us” just made me think of jon & ygritte in the cave :’( I miss her jon & ygritte > jon & dany but you didn't hear it from me!

there have been a billion memes about jon looking at the dragons while he's kissing dany so imma just leave it there

arya & the hound reuniting he’s so proud!! even if he doesn't show it much

and arya & gendry!!! my babies!!! im so happy we got so many reunions in episode 1 and didn't have to wait

unpopular opinion? popular opinion? lil lord umber deserved what he got *shrug emoji*

“did you bend the knee to save the north or because you love her?” ooooo shit

sam is so precious he was annoying at first but I love him now we love some good character development

also I didn't realize that he didn’t know his dad & brother got roasted and finding out like that? YiKeS

“waiting for an old friend” hE WAS TALKING ABOUT JAIME!!! 

also im so happy they decided to have sam tell jon about his parents instead of robot bran

“I wasn't a king” “but you were. you’ve always been”

“you gave up your crown to save your people. would she do the same?” OOOO SHIT

"STAY BACK HE’S GOT BLUE EYES” “I’VE ALWAYS HAD BLUE EYES” I fucking love tormund & im v happy edd’s back!! missed that sad lil fucker

you can sEE LIL LORD UMBER’S BLUE EYES IN THE BACKGROUND

there's also been a billion memes about jaime & bran but I just gotta say jaime is so SHOOK when he sees bran lmfao

overall solid first episode! we got almost every reunion I was waiting for and a lot of info and insight and im hype for the rest of the season!!

thanks for sticking around til the end of my rambling friends :))))

[1079mixfm]

New Post has been published on https://mix1079.net/the-commercials-of-super-bowl-53/?utm_source=TR&utm_medium=1079mixfm+on+Tumblr&utm_campaign=SNAP

The Commercials of Super Bowl 53

Super Bowl 53 will go down as one of the least exciting and lowest scoring games in Super Bowl history.  So you could say the commercials were more interesting, but that’s not saying much.   Overall, this year’s crop was uneventful, just like the game.  Companies brought more of the funny and creative starting in the second quarter, but then the quality dipped again.  Politics and celebrity cameos were down, robots were in.   Fewer companies released their ads online before the game . . . maybe they finally realized it hurts the impact of the commercial to leak it BEFORE the Super Bowl.  The upshot is that more of them felt like a surprise.   Here’s what stood out, in no particular order.  Remember . . . $5 million for 30 seconds.

1.  T-Mobile ran with a series of ads about awkward texting moments.  They were short, funny, captured current communication problems we can all relate to, and had great music choices.

2.  Bud Light went with their medieval theme, and busted on Miller Lite and Coors Light for using corn syrup in their recipes.

Then they surprised everyone by turning the second ad in the series into an actual promo for “Game of Thrones“.  There was an appearance by the character ‘the Mountain,’ and one of the dragons, with the level of CGI you expect from the show.

3.  Audi got some buzz with their commercial about a guy’s near-death experience, where he sees the future of electric cars . . . then realizes he’s just choking on a cashew.  It was funny, but the message was that a third of Audi’s new cars will be electric by 2025.  That’s six years from now.  Get excited?

4.  Amazon went with the celebrity cameo thing, and had FOREST WHITAKER and HARRISON FORD using products that didn’t make the cut.  Not all of it worked.  In Harrison Ford’s case, his dog had a collar that ordered from Alexa, and bought tons of dog food.  They should have just stuck with that part.  Keep it simple.

5.  We liked JASON BATEMAN as a smug elevator operator in the Hyundai ad, where they compared the pain of buying a car to jury duty, going to the dentist, and sitting in the middle seat.  Again, it was relatable.

6.  Olay did an ad for skin cream where they parodied horror movies, and SARA MICHELLE GELLAR couldn’t unlock her phone with facial recognition . . . because her skin was so amazing.  It was creative, but could have been funnier.

7.  Same with the Colgate ad about close talkers with LUKE WILSON.  It just felt like there was a ton of potential there.  Also, where has Luke Wilson been?

8.  People liked the Doritos ad with CHANCE THE RAPPER and the BACKSTREET BOYS.  But it also seems a little lazy for Doritos to throw the Backstreet Boys in an ad, and just hope our nostalgia for them will do the trick.  Also, did Chance lose any street cred by doing it?

9.  Pepsi did a mashup type of thing too, by throwing STEVE CARELL in with CARDI B and LIL JON.  Carell is always funny.  Lil Jon just feels annoying . . . especially when they did the intro to the halftime show.

10.  Stella Artois had JEFF BRIDGES as ‘the Dude’ from “The Big Lebowski” meeting up with SARAH JESSICA PARKER as Carrie Bradshaw from “Sex and the City”.  And their characters ditched their usual cocktail choices for a beer.

‘The Most Interesting Man in the World’ from Dos Equis made a cameo too.  Like the Doritos ad and the Pepsi commercials, it made a splash in the news last week.  And some people didn’t like how it uses iconic characters to sell beer.

11.  We liked the random ad by a wireless internet company called Mint Mobile, which had a typical American family drinking ‘chunky milk,’ which “just isn’t right.”  It was weird and different, and felt like a lost sketch from “SNL”.

12.  At halftime, the NFL did a salute to what seemed like every living NFL legend, with a goofy commercial that had them all fighting over a football at some fancy event.  If anything, it was just impressive for how many big names they got to appear in it.

The all-time greatest, most competitive NFL players gathered for the #NFL100 gala. What could possibly go wrong? pic.twitter.com/pvE0fKuSye

— NFL (@NFL) February 4, 2019

13.  “The Washington Post“ did an ad toward the end of the game about journalists who’ve been killed in the line of duty.  And TOM HANKS narrated, since he played a famous Post reporter in the movie “The Post”.  It was powerful.

We also couldn’t help thinking . . . $5 million for 30 seconds.  And this thing was a minute.  Think about that the next time you try to read a “Washington Post” article online, and you can’t because of the paywall.  (???)

14.  Other ads went the emotional route too.  It doesn’t always work.  Microsoft talked about the Adaptive Controller for the Xbox One, and kids with disabilities showed how they use it.  It was simple, powerful, and moving.

On the other hand, Kia did a thing about how the normal people who make the Telluride SUV are incredible . . . without really saying why.  They’re nice, normal Americans, sure.  But it looked like an ominous movie trailer.

That kind of thing just can’t hold up when compared to kids with disabilities who are, well . . . literally incredible.

There were plenty of other good examples of companies tugging on the heartstrings with emotional or patriotic pleas too, some of them well done.  We’re thinking of the Verizon ads about first responders.

But there’s something else we noticed . . . after a few years of unheard-of levels of political bitterness in reality, maybe we’re all a little more cynical, and just not as hungry for the big, epic pleas for unity and togetherness?  Just a thought.

There was also the usual round-up of TV and movie promos.  Highlights included the teaser for season three of the “The Handmaid’s Tale“ on Hulu, which looked like a political ad, complete with Reagan’s old slogan, “It’s morning again in America.”

“Avengers: Endgame” probably had the most anticipated teaser trailer for movies.  But we still didn’t learn whether all the characters in the previous movie really died.

Overall, the consensus online is that the game, the halftime show, and the commercials were all horrible.  Is that really true?  Maybe for the game.

It might also be true that criticism online tends to be overly critical . . . because that’s how you get attention, score easy points, and get a quick rush of empty validation.

You know how we know?  Because different sites that listed the absolute best and worst ads this year often used the same examples . . . but some called them the best ads, and some called them the worst.  Creativity and comedy are subjective.

(You can see all the commercials in the order they aired here, a snarky subjective ranking here, and USA Today’s ranking of them here.)

[junker-town]

Bama and LSU vs. their fans who like cussin’ during old songs

These rivals have yet another thing in common.

Two SEC West stadiums, two fan bases, two songs — innocent enough on their own — and two administrations forever vexed while trying to reign in thousands of people havin’ a little fun by cussin’ up a storm.

That’s the issue both Alabama and LSU administrations have to fight as they try to keep their game days clean.

At LSU, the song is “Neck”, played by The Golden Band From Tigerland.

It’s originally a tune by Cameo called “Talkin’ Out The Side Of Your Neck” (meaning talking nonsense), which debuted in 1982.

It’s since been referenced and reworked in other songs, including by Dem Franchize Boyz in 2008 and Lil Jon & The East Side Boyz in their 2000 song “Where Dem Girls At”.

The trombone refrain during the song is tailor made for a marching band, and bands across the country play it.

But when it’s done in Tiger Stadium, some LSU fans put a spin on it.

For those who can’t hear clearly, that’d be “suck that Tiger dick, bitch” being yelled by the folks in purple and gold.

At Alabama, the song is “Dixieland Delight”.

Also a 1982 song, by the appropriately named band Alabama, this one is about driving through the South toward a romantic weekend.

In between lyrics, Bama fans do their thing as well.

For those that can’t hear clearly, that’d be “Fuck Auburn” being yelled by the folks (surprisingly on beat) in crimson and white. Then when we get to the chorus:

Spend my dollar — ON BEER

Parked in a holler ‘neath the mountain moonlight — ROLL TIDE

Hold her up tight — AGAINST THE WALL

Make a little lovin’ — ALL NIGHT

Little turtle dovin’ on a Mason-Dixon night — FUCK AUBURN

Fits my life — AND LSU

Oh so right — AND TENNESSEE TOO

My Dixieland Delight

The suits at both schools think all this is a problem.

At LSU, the song has had a saga over most of the last decade.

This has landed the band in trouble in recent years. In 2010 the song was banned, but brought back in 2013 and used sparingly for that reason. LSU passed out literature a couple of years ago to help curb the chant. But former Tiger Odell Beckham Jr. was in the stands [during the 2017 Texas A&M game], and apparently he came to the stands with a humble request. From LSU’s drumline captain:

Odell Beckham is here. He wants Neck. Sorry Odell, you don’t have that much power.

— Matthew Herrera (@mjherrera13) November 26, 2017

The best part is WHY they played it pic.twitter.com/D0vIcFrDPU

— Caleb McBride (@C_McBreezy) November 26, 2017

When SB Nation contacted LSU in late August about whether this was true, the official response was this:

“No, there was no fine issued to the band for playing a certain song last year against Texas A&M. Odell was in the stands and leading the band, but there’s no truth to the rest of that story.”

It seems that “Neck” is at least kinda back, as The Golden Band played it other times during 2017 ... just not in Tiger Stadium.

#LSU band greets skill players with Neck. pic.twitter.com/pajBegwmjq

— Cody Worsham (@CodyWorsham) October 7, 2017

After LSU beat Georgia, fans chanted some sexually suggestive cusses during the song (NSFW) ...

"Neck" #LSU pic.twitter.com/JxpqmWIpbu

— Jacques Doucet (@JacquesDoucet) October 13, 2018

... and then AD Joe Alleva asked them to knock it off, please:

Chants and cheers that blatantly offend rather than inspire do not represent what LSU is all about. Be relentless. Be loud. But, I’m asking our fans, and particularly our student section, to keep it clean. We have a diverse group of fans in the stadium and every week we represent the entire LSU family on national television. Let’s represent LSU with the pride and class it deserves.

Bama’s case is more cut and dry. They nixed “Dixieland Delight” completely in Tuscaloosa after that 2014 Iron Bowl. But now it’s definitely back, thanks to this announcement by Alabama AD Greg Byrne, Terry Saban, running back Damien Harris, and student body president Price McGiffert announcing the decision and requesting a gentler sing-along.

You asked, we listened! See you Saturday! #DixielandDelightDoneRight #RollTide pic.twitter.com/1hosx2xhhY

— Greg Byrne (@Greg_Byrne) October 10, 2018

Alabama’s beaten LSU to the punch here as far as the revival of popular songs goes. It remains to be seen how fans react, and if the songs end up staying.

[biofunmy]

‘Saturday Night Live’ Spoofs Trump’s Impeachment Trial

It’s been almost 22 years since “Saturday Night Live” last found itself satirizing a presidential impeachment proceeding, but as the show turned its attention to President Trump’s trial in the Senate, it quickly reverted to its tried-and-true formula: a smidgen of factual detail, a dollop of celebrity cameos and a whole bunch of cultural references that may or may not be germane to the topic.

This weekend’s broadcast, hosted by Adam Driver and featuring the musical guest Halsey, began with a sketch set on Capitol Hill, where Susan Collins (played by Cecily Strong) and Mitch McConnell (Beck Bennett) reflected on the trial to date.

“We all know this impeachment proceeding is a sham and a hoax,” Bennett said. “Republicans are simply requesting a fair trial — no witnesses, no evidence. That way we can acquit President Trump and focus on the real criminals in this country: teenagers who try marijuana.”

Strong said, “The evidence against Trump is pretty damning so I’m still on the fence,” then made an exaggerated wink.

The Republican senators welcomed the lawyer they said would be their star defense attorney in the coming days: Alan Dershowitz, played here by Jon Lovitz, the “S.N.L.” alumnus.

“It’s wonderful to be here,” Lovitz said, “ ‘cause I’m not welcome anywhere else.” He was repeatedly admonished for mentioning past clients he has represented, including Jeffrey Epstein, O.J. Simpson and Claus von Bülow.

Then, abruptly, Lovitz acted out an apparent heart attack and the screen filled with smoke. When it cleared, he found himself in hell, where he was welcomed by Kate McKinnon, playing the devil.

“I used to let nobodies into hell but now it’s all influencers,” McKinnon said.

Among the notorious guests she introduced to Lovitz were Epstein, who was played by Driver.

“Great to see you,” Lovitz exclaimed. “What are you doing here?”

Driver seemed ever-so-slightly mortified as he replied, “Eh, just hangin’.”

Other visitors to Hades included Bowen Yang as the composer of “Baby Shark”; Heidi Gardner as Flo, the Progressive Insurance mascot; and someone playing Mr. Peanut, the recently deceased brand icon. (As Mr. Peanut explained, “I took out a lot of first graders with peanut allergies. Plus, I never wore pants.”)

Finally, Alex Moffat appeared in his recurring role as Mark Zuckerberg, identified here as hell’s I.T. guy. “I just want everyone to know that I don’t endorse evil,” Moffat said. “I just help millions of people share it.

‘Star Wars’ Sketch of the Week

If “Star Wars” has taught us anything, it’s that if something is successful once, keep doing it. Back when Driver hosted “S.N.L.” in 2016, he appeared in a parody of the CBS reality show “Undercover Boss,” playing Kylo Ren, his villainous character from the “Star Wars” series, attempting to go incognito among the bad guys he employs. That sketch was a hit, so why not give it a sequel? In this installment, Driver-as-Ren adopts the guise of an entry-level First Order intern named Randy, who uses the Force to obliterate a malfunctioning printer (as well as an admiral who berates him for botching his drink order).

‘Weekend Update’ Jokes of the Week

Over at the “Weekend Update” desk, the anchors Colin Jost and Michael Che continued to riff on the impeachment trial of President Trump.

Jost:

The impeachment trial started this week, and am I crazy or was Adam Schiff on my TV for 100 hours straight? Even when I turned the TV off, there was still an outline of him burned into the screen. What happened was, Democrats spent three days laying out in great detail how they believe President Trump has been the most egregious abuser of power in American history. And then Republicans laid out their defense, the shrug emoji. Mitch McConnell, seen here calmly watching an orphanage burn, defended his plan for the trial, saying, “The country is waiting to see if we can rise to the occasion.” I would maybe say you’re not rising to the occasion, considering one senator fell asleep, Rand Paul was doing a crossword puzzle and some Republican senators even brought fidget spinners to play with. I assume this symbolized how the Founding Fathers are spinning in their graves.

Che:

You’re better than me, Colin. I didn’t watch one minute of that trial. It was like a four-day long PowerPoint. This is supposed to be Trump’s punishment, not mine. This whole impeachment is like a bad episode of “Maury.” There’s all this evidence that Trump clearly cheated and Republicans are still like, “But Maury, he loves me.” Trump is so confident he’s going to win, he’s using Jeffrey Epstein’s lawyer to represent him. Talk about credibility — who’s his character witness, R. Kelly?

‘Weekend Update’ Deskside Bit of the Week

Melissa Villaseñor appeared as herself in a segment where she sang a series of songs about this year’s crop of Academy Award nominees. Each tune was set to the same bouncy bossa nova beat, like this catchy ditty about “The Irishman”:

This movie has a lot to offer

Al Pacino as Jimmy Hoffa

Gangster life gets kinda messy

Robert De Niro and lil’ Joe Pesci

It’s three hours long

They’re old and they’re young

And it’s white male rage

White male rage

White male rage

If you listen to Villaseñor’s other songs, which also address “Joker,” “Once Upon a Time … in Hollywood,” “1917” and Greta Gerwig’s snub for directing “Little Women,” we think you’ll see a pattern emerge! (Hint: It’s white male rage.)

Inexplicably Funny Sketch of the Week

The premise for this sketch is deceptively, inanely simple: Kyle Mooney and Chloe Fineman are actors in a commercial for the budget menu at Del Taco, directed by Beck Bennett and supervised by an oleaginous Del Taco executive played by Adam Driver.

That’s it. That’s the whole setup for this entire segment, in which you will hear the line “Aw, man, I’m all out of cash” uttered so many times that you eventually slip into a hypnotic state where you never want to hear that combination of words again — until they inexplicably become the funniest catchphrase ever conceived. Look, it’s late, cut us some slack.

Sahred From Source link Arts

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[mastcomm]

‘Saturday Night Live’ Spoofs Trump’s Impeachment Trial

It’s been almost 22 years since “Saturday Night Live” last found itself satirizing a presidential impeachment proceeding, but as the show turned its attention to President Trump’s trial in the Senate, it quickly reverted to its tried-and-true formula: a smidgen of factual detail, a dollop of celebrity cameos and a whole bunch of cultural references that may or may not be germane to the topic.

This weekend’s broadcast, hosted by Adam Driver and featuring the musical guest Halsey, began with a sketch set on Capitol Hill, where Susan Collins (played by Cecily Strong) and Mitch McConnell (Beck Bennett) reflected on the trial to date.

“We all know this impeachment proceeding is a sham and a hoax,” Bennett said. “Republicans are simply requesting a fair trial — no witnesses, no evidence. That way we can acquit President Trump and focus on the real criminals in this country: teenagers who try marijuana.”

Strong said, “The evidence against Trump is pretty damning so I’m still on the fence,” then made an exaggerated wink.

The Republican senators welcomed the lawyer they said would be their star defense attorney in the coming days: Alan Dershowitz, played here by Jon Lovitz, the “S.N.L.” alumnus.

“It’s wonderful to be here,” Lovitz said, “ ‘cause I’m not welcome anywhere else.” He was repeatedly admonished for mentioning past clients he has represented, including Jeffrey Epstein, O.J. Simpson and Claus von Bülow.

Then, abruptly, Lovitz acted out an apparent heart attack and the screen filled with smoke. When it cleared, he found himself in hell, where he was welcomed by Kate McKinnon, playing the devil.

“I used to let nobodies into hell but now it’s all influencers,” McKinnon said.

Among the notorious guests she introduced to Lovitz were Epstein, who was played by Driver.

“Great to see you,” Lovitz exclaimed. “What are you doing here?”

Driver seemed ever-so-slightly mortified as he replied, “Eh, just hangin’.”

Other visitors to Hades included Bowen Yang as the composer of “Baby Shark”; Heidi Gardner as Flo, the Progressive Insurance mascot; and someone playing Mr. Peanut, the recently deceased brand icon. (As Mr. Peanut explained, “I took out a lot of first graders with peanut allergies. Plus, I never wore pants.”)

Finally, Alex Moffat appeared in his recurring role as Mark Zuckerberg, identified here as hell’s I.T. guy. “I just want everyone to know that I don’t endorse evil,” Moffat said. “I just help millions of people share it.

‘Star Wars’ Sketch of the Week

If “Star Wars” has taught us anything, it’s that if something is successful once, keep doing it. Back when Driver hosted “S.N.L.” in 2016, he appeared in a parody of the CBS reality show “Undercover Boss,” playing Kylo Ren, his villainous character from the “Star Wars” series, attempting to go incognito among the bad guys he employs. That sketch was a hit, so why not give it a sequel? In this installment, Driver-as-Ren adopts the guise of an entry-level First Order intern named Randy, who uses the Force to obliterate a malfunctioning printer (as well as an admiral who berates him for botching his drink order).

‘Weekend Update’ Jokes of the Week

Over at the “Weekend Update” desk, the anchors Colin Jost and Michael Che continued to riff on the impeachment trial of President Trump.

Jost:

The impeachment trial started this week, and am I crazy or was Adam Schiff on my TV for 100 hours straight? Even when I turned the TV off, there was still an outline of him burned into the screen. What happened was, Democrats spent three days laying out in great detail how they believe President Trump has been the most egregious abuser of power in American history. And then Republicans laid out their defense, the shrug emoji. Mitch McConnell, seen here calmly watching an orphanage burn, defended his plan for the trial, saying, “The country is waiting to see if we can rise to the occasion.” I would maybe say you’re not rising to the occasion, considering one senator fell asleep, Rand Paul was doing a crossword puzzle and some Republican senators even brought fidget spinners to play with. I assume this symbolized how the Founding Fathers are spinning in their graves.

Che:

You’re better than me, Colin. I didn’t watch one minute of that trial. It was like a four-day long PowerPoint. This is supposed to be Trump’s punishment, not mine. This whole impeachment is like a bad episode of “Maury.” There’s all this evidence that Trump clearly cheated and Republicans are still like, “But Maury, he loves me.” Trump is so confident he’s going to win, he’s using Jeffrey Epstein’s lawyer to represent him. Talk about credibility — who’s his character witness, R. Kelly?

‘Weekend Update’ Deskside Bit of the Week

Melissa Villaseñor appeared as herself in a segment where she sang a series of songs about this year’s crop of Academy Award nominees. Each tune was set to the same bouncy bossa nova beat, like this catchy ditty about “The Irishman”:

This movie has a lot to offer

Al Pacino as Jimmy Hoffa

Gangster life gets kinda messy

Robert De Niro and lil’ Joe Pesci

It’s three hours long

They’re old and they’re young

And it’s white male rage

White male rage

White male rage

If you listen to Villaseñor’s other songs, which also address “Joker,” “Once Upon a Time … in Hollywood,” “1917” and Greta Gerwig’s snub for directing “Little Women,” we think you’ll see a pattern emerge! (Hint: It’s white male rage.)

Inexplicably Funny Sketch of the Week

The premise for this sketch is deceptively, inanely simple: Kyle Mooney and Chloe Fineman are actors in a commercial for the budget menu at Del Taco, directed by Beck Bennett and supervised by an oleaginous Del Taco executive played by Adam Driver.

That’s it. That’s the whole setup for this entire segment, in which you will hear the line “Aw, man, I’m all out of cash” uttered so many times that you eventually slip into a hypnotic state where you never want to hear that combination of words again — until they inexplicably become the funniest catchphrase ever conceived. Look, it’s late, cut us some slack.

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[james-christian-things-blog]

Earth (Lil Dicky song)

What up, world? It’s your boy, just one of the guys down here Well, I could be more specific Uh, I’m a human, and I just wanted to, you know For the sake of all of us earthlings out there Just wanted to say:We love the Earth, it is our planet We love the Earth, it is our home We love the Earth, it is our planet We love the Earth, it is our homeHi, I’m a baboon I’m like a man, just less advanced and my anus is hugeHey, I’m a zebra No one knows what I do, but I look pretty cool Am I white or black?I’m a lion cub, and I’m always getting licked (Meow!)How’s it going? I’m a cow (Moo!) You drink milk from my tits (Moo)I’m a fat, fucking pigI’m a common fungusI’m a disgruntled skunk, shoot you out my buttholeI’m a marijuana plant, I can get you fucked upAnd…

“Earth” is a song by American rapper Lil Dicky It was released on April 19, 2019, three days prior to Earth Day. All proceeds from the song will be donated to different environmental charities after collaboration with the Leonardo DiCaprio

Background

On April 19, 2019, Dicky took to Twitter to announce the release of a new song the following week. It was also reported that Justin Bieber would return to music as a guest feature on a new Lil Dicky song ] Bieber confirmed the collaboration on Twitter a few days later.

Some of the lyrics are references to the artists portraying them, such as Ariana Grande portraying a zebra (“Am I white or black”, referencing her controversies surrounding cultural appropriation), Zac Brown playing a cow (referencing the country stereotype of cowboys), Snoop Dogg playing a marijuana plant (referencing his habit of marijuana use), Sia playing a kangaroo (referencing her Australian heritage), among many others.

According to Lil Dicky, the abrupt appearance of Kanye West is because he originally intended West to portray himself rather than an animated animal since he was a huge fan of West. However, he couldn’t get in contact with West, but instead of replacing West’s role, they kept him in with Kevin Hart voice acting him.

Music video

On April 17, Dicky released a preview of the video that was released the following day. Co-directed by Nigel Tierney of Emmy-winning studio RYOT (the studio that made Behind the Fence VR), Federico Heller of 3Dar (the studio that made Uncanny Valley), Oddbot Animation, and Iconic Engine, the music video features the voices of 30 celebrities and singer-songwriters, including Sia, Justin Bieber, Ariana Grande, Shawn Mendes, Halsey, Katy Perry, Ed Sheeran, Leonardo DiCaprio, Brendon Urie, Charlie Puth, Snoop Dogg, Miley Cyrus, among others. Most celebrities represent a different type of animal or plant.Meghan Trainor, Joel Embiid, Tory Lanez, John Legend, Psy, Bad Bunny, Kris Wu and Backstreet Boys are not seen in the video. Kevin Hart is a substitute for Kanye West, and Leonardo DiCaprio’s character re-enacts a scene from the 1997 film Titanic. The video concludes with Dicky proclaiming that DiCaprio knows more about the Earth and “how we’re fucking it up” than anybody, and with DiCaprio saying that the track might be his “favorite song ever”. The video begins (in live-action), with a news report about the hot climate change around Los Angeles County, then comes into a polluted street corner near Downtown Los Angeles where a young boy is being bullied by a group of older boys and shoved into a trash can. Lil Dicky appears and reprimands the bullies as they run away, and the young boy then finds a book and opens it revealing an animated jungle with a cartoon version of Dicky wearing a Tarzanstyle outfit as the celebrity guests sing their verses portrayed as their characters. In the rap verse, the book shows a cameo of Lil Dicky with Maui from the 2016 Disney film Moana. The film clip includes explicit language (except clean version).

Guest vocalists

List of guest vocalists with a role they play in the music video:

Lil Dicky as Man

Justin Bieber as Baboon

Ariana Grande as Zebra

Halsey as Lion cub

Zac Brown as Cow

Brendon Urie as Pig

Hailee Steinfeld as Mushroom (“Common Fungus”)

Wiz Khalifa as Skunk

Snoop Dogg as Marijuana

Kevin Hart as Kanye West

Adam Levine as Vultures

Shawn Mendes as Rhinos

Charlie Puth as Giraffe

Sia as Kangaroo

Miley Cyrus as Elephant

Lil Jon as Clam

Rita Ora as Wolf

Miguel as Squirrel

Katy Perry as Pony

Lil Yachty as HPV

Ed Sheeran as Koala

Meghan Trainor, Joel Embiid, Tory Lanez, John Legend as playback vocalists

PSY, Bad Bunny, Kris Wu as Milky Way, the Earth, and Mount Everest

Backstreet Boys as the Credits

Leonardo DiCaprio as himself

[latoyarubalcava3546]

Ciara, Sterling K. Brown, & More Celebs Channel Drake For The Viral In My Feelings Dance Challenge — Watch!

Celebs are really feeling Drake's new album, Scorpion, especially the track In My Feelings!

So much so, they've jumped on the chance to #DoTheShiggy for the #InMyFeelingsChallenge made famous on Instagram by social media star and comedian Shoker!

Photos: All The Women Drake Has Dated!

Ciara completely nailed it with some help from hubby Russell Wilson and Sterling K. Brown most recently showed off his moves with his This Is Us wife Susan Kelechi Watson! And they're not the only stars who have taken it on!

Ch-ch-check them all out (below)! If you haven't seen the original, don't worry, we have you covered, too:

#Mood : KEKE Do You Love Me ? 😂😂😂 @champagnepapi #DoTheShiggy #InMyFeelingsA post shared by Shoker🃏 (@theshiggyshow) on Jun 29, 2018 at 6:15pm PDT

KeKe CeCe, do you love me?

When you and Bae #DoTheShiggy On Top of Cape Town on ur #Honeymoon. @DangeRussWilson #InMyFeelingsChallengeA post shared by Ciara (@ciara) on Jul 8, 2018 at 10:56am PDT

Sterling and Susan are feeling themselves:

Gotta #DoTheShiggy with the Mrs! #ThisIsUs #InMyFeelingsChallengeA post shared by Sterling Brown (@sterlingkbrown) on Jul 10, 2018 at 1:24pm PDT

Odell Beckham Jr. also got in on the fun:

Happy 4th!!! This how I’m Pullin up to the bop-bop-barbecues all day! 🤣😂😭 @theshiggyshow Everybody get crazy wit it and hashtag #DoTheShiggy legggoo @theshiggyshowA post shared by Odell Beckham Jr (@obj) on Jul 4, 2018 at 11:44am PDT

As did Drizzy himself at London's Wireless Festival on Sunday:

NAH @champagnepapi HIT THAT #DoTheShiggy ON STAGE .. WE FOREVER LIT MAN 🦂 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥#InMyFeelings ⭐️💪 #LoveA post shared by Shoker🃏 (@theshiggyshow) on Jul 10, 2018 at 8:43am PDT

And Kevin Hart:

Damn My Main Man .. Favorite Jokester @kevinhart4real Out Here Hitting It Man 😂😂😂😂 #DoTheShiggy @champagnepapiA post shared by Shoker🃏 (@theshiggyshow) on Jul 7, 2018 at 8:10pm PDT

La La Anthony:

@theshiggyshow DONT EVER CALL ME OUT AGAIN‼️🤣🤷🏽‍♀️🤣🤣 #dotheshiggy #inmyfeelingschallengeA post shared by ℒᎯ ℒᎯ (@lala) on Jul 7, 2018 at 5:11pm PDT

Diplo with a cameo by Lil Jon:

IM TIRED OF KIKI!!! SHE GETTING ON MY DAMN NERVESSS 🙄 @diplo @theshiggyshow #DoTheShiggy @champagnepapiA post shared by LIL JON (@liljon) on Jul 8, 2018 at 11:13pm PDT

Have you tried it yet??

Are you riding??

[Image via Euan Cherry/John Rainford/Apega/WENN.]