#also sorry for the random reply. ive just been thinking about this lately

[xrd]

Imo I think the GameCube design isn't practical for a lot of games. Maybe the cluster would work better if the A button was smaller but it's awkward to hit the combination of X/Y and the combination of b and any other button.

Diamond design let's you hit most button combos that aren't opposite each other easily, and typically you rest your thumb along some combination of y/b, x/a, or a/b. I think it works well on both joycon or procontroller, may be more cumbersome on joycon if you have larger hands though

gamecube was the best designed controller of all time exclusively for the button cluster that gave you easy thumb roll access to all buttons but also gave you the a button as a thumb rest (because it’s the one you press the most) and took into account the frequency with which each button gets pressed in its design rather than doing the stupid diamond design that gives no button priority and rests your thumb in the shitty blank space between buttons

[the-moon-files]

Alright, so I just read through that language barriers post of yours and had a Blast Tm, BUT! Now I have several thoughts that need to be spoken. Firstly, what with english being this really ancient language now, yn‘s basically got a free phd in hyrule, don‘t they?? Predestined for exploration because of their „excellent skills with the language used in the ruins and temples of old, as well as their familiarity with the mechanisms“ or something. The ruin researchers probably beg to have them in their team.

Secondly, apparently accents are really appealing to some people? The chain already finds yn‘s morning voice really hot, but how would they even react to the way they sort of mispronounce the words? Idk too much about how japanese sounds, but maybe they emphasize the consonants too much which makes them sound harsh all the time, or the opposite, too much emphasis on vowels and sounding very soft. Just… brainrot about rambling and not trying too hard to speak perfectly accurately being all it takes to have the boys smitten and kicking their feet.

Thirdly!! What about a yn that knows multiple languages? The chain tries their best to learn english, and then yn comes around the corner like SIKE. THAT‘S NOT ALL OF THEM. YOU WILL NEVER COMPREHEND IT ALL. (That‘s what I‘d do at least.)

sorry for late reply i have a hectic life rn and i got hit by hurricane helene lol

ao3/writing blog author curse is so real u guys, this was like a 100 year not anticpated flood or smth, also we're in the mountains??

anyway gonna assume u mean masc/male reader bc of the reference to this post!! if u want context or a sorta part 1

this is just gonna be a quick reply so i can share anons ideas w/the world tho since ive been hoarding asks 😔

at the very least Wild's Zelda is harassing you

at the very most, every time u guys get near a town or city, u are kidnapped by hylian researchers

just the image of a bunch of nerd hylians mobbing u and fangirling while the rest of the guys, in full armor and swords just stand awkwardly behind lmao

(they get lowkey jealous after awhile i mean what who said that-)

the way Legend, Hyrule, Four, and Twi hover a little closer when you talk

Wild and Twi are practically like excited dogs whenever you speak, perking up when they hear your deep voice, u know, bc u tried randomly talking in the evenings abt nothing and watched them pavlov respond and look to you every time

even when u just started talking about the grass or some flowers

lowkey you accidentally almost mess up their dungeon exploring bc theyre just so used to your accented voice in their heads, just around them, or smth guiding them along, that when they all split up into smaller groups in the dungeon,

each Link pair accidentally starts following a man's voice echoing in the dungeon until they all accidentally converge in a main room and the Link equivalent of the point spiderman meme happens with you in the center with Time, who had been your dungeon buddy (he's laughing at them as every Link goes a little red after realizing they just followed you unconciously)

ur favorite thing to do is leaning down to whisper in each of the pointed hylian ears randomly, just talking about mundane or random things and watching it twitch, some trying to stay still like Time/Twi/Wars/Wild, while others leap away like u burned them lmao Legend/Hyrule/Four, and Sky managing to do both, trying to maintain composure before he inevitably breaks out all red and hides in his hands lmao

(Wind dared you to do it originally, and he snickers every time he sees you doing it again lol)

-

ok but the multiple languages is endless comedy gold

bc everytime a Link thinks he's got it or starts to listen then realize ur actually speaking smth completely different language

u get the most memeable faces of his confusion

like these gems

(four's blue is showing, he's offended u switched languages every other word one time)

they're actually so fed up lmao

☆

anyway sorry for late reply!! I hope u guys are having a good week so far, and ill try to post some more, tho cant guarantee when as the holidays close in for me

(rip my class is also getting near the end too im Stressin)

peace out anon,

🌙

[aziraphales-library]

Lost Fic #300

1. Hello! I read a fic a while back, and now I can't find it again. The ineffables are house-hunting, Aziraphales idea, but he keeps taking them to places that have things just for Crowley, and Crowley thinks Aziraphale is trying to get rid of him. Can you help me find it again? Thank you! - @charlie-the-killer-plotbunny

2. Hello, I'm looking for a completed multi chapter fic post season two, but it starts only a few days after. Aziraphale rescues Jesus from heaven and comes through a portal into a compound being run by a resistance group. He is injured, gets speared in the lift, protecting Jesus, but gets healed. Crowley is there waiting for him. There is a new female and male character, and I think they are angels as well, who run the resistance compound. I remember the female has died in different lifetimes and remembers her death but doesn't remember that the male angel has been with her the entire time and through each death. The resistance group battle heaven eventually, pretty sure Gabrielle and Beeazlebub are part of it as well. I have looked for ages, read it at the start of the year or late last year while waiting for my A03 account, so didn't have it book marked :-( - anon

3. Hii :p I'm looking for a fic where Aziraphale ends up marrying a women and has two kids with her, a boy and a girl. His wife becomes quite ill and near the end of her life he ends up reconnecting with Crowley, whom he's know on and off since childhood or teenage years. Aziraphale genuinely loves his wife and she is SO sweet and understanding, she knows he and Crowley belong together and encourages them to date and take care of their children when she's gone. Aziraphale's teenage son is sad about his mom but is very happy his Dad is getting a second chance at love with Crowley. iirc this fic time hops around a bit to all the times A+C end up crossing paths over the years. There's one particular flashback (to their college years, I believe) where a group of guys attempt to rob Aziraphale with a knife, it turns out Crowley is one of them and he orders the other thugs off Aziraphale once he realizes who it is. The two of them end up talking and Aziraphale is worried sick about Crowley living on the streets and robbing people for money, Aziraphale also tells Crowley about some of his mates he's met in school and his fiance. Random but I also think Crowley plays piano in this fic ? In some flashbacks he's having lessons and then eventually becomes one of those live performers at fancy restaurants. Aziraphale's wife and kids love listening to Crowley play after hearing countless of stories of how good he is from Azi PS: thank you so much for what you do for this fandom (⁠ ⁠˘⁠ ⁠³⁠˘⁠)⁠♥ - anon

4. Omg. Okay. Hi!!! So Sorry If it is hard to find, but i was wondering if you could help? I think it is kind of a soulmate fic (?) because they get instantly in love w each other Anathema is friends with both Aziraphale and Crowley, but they dont know each other. (i think Aziraphale work in a caffe of something) Anathema invite Aziraphale to a 'games night w friends' for them to meet. Aaa thank so much!!!! - anon

5. hey mods! im looking for a childhood friends/sweethearts fic. i remember that azi’s mom ?! was dating crowley’s father, or the other way around. i think there was a scene where they were sleeping in the same bedroom, crowley on the floor i think and azi on the bed. and if im not mistaken, crowley also gave azi a tape with some songs?! im not completely sure cause idk if ive read this on this fic or another one 😭 please help me out, thank you! 🫶 - @lovemkx

If you know any of these fics please include the number in your reply! Thank you :)

- Mod D

[loverboyjamespotter]

What’re your general prongsfoot head canons

hiii!!! im so sorry for the late reply ive not been online much recently!

and thank you for asking about prongsfoot hcs bc honestly i could talk about them all day lmaooo OKAY SO:

sirius has borderline personality disorder and his favourite person is james

this isnt really prongsfoot this is more james but i firmly believe he has adhd

on a similar note i definitely DEFINITELY think sirius is autistic

i think that no one truly UNDERSTOOD james like sirius. i think one of the most compelling things about prongsfoot is that james is obviously a performer. he enjoys attention and he likes being the centre of attention. however, i think at the end of the day that really is just an Image if you get what i mean? like everyone wants a part of james hes the most popular boy in school hes practically a legend like i really really feel like people underestimate the fucking FORCE OF NATURE that was james potter like he was the gryffindor chaser IN SECOND YEAR!!!!! but i feel like ... hmm this is hard to articulate but i think what i mean is sirius sees Through the facade and loves james for who he is not in spite of who he is. like in SWM when theres people in the crowd who are laughing at james' antics (along the vein of 'oh that james! what a card!') and lily telling james to stop it but i think sirius just sees the worst parts of james and loves them just as much as the good parts. i think he sees through the spoilt naivety, the arrogance, the everything to who james is as a person. and heres the really crazy thing: i really dont even think ... james KNOWS he putting on this performance for the benefit of everyone else because i think he absolutely is the most oblivious person when it comes to his feelings but sirius knows.

this links into my next big hc which is that i think BOTH sirius AND james love each other for who they are in their entirety like i think james saw sirius and adored him for everything he was.

i think theyre simultaneously the same person and polar opposites.

i think sirius because of the the fact he had the upbringing he did is hyperconscious of what hes feeling at any time so he knew he was in love with james like. within first year. but i genuinely think james didnt even realise he was in love with sirius just because he always WAS ... hes just has TERRIBLE reflection skills like that guy is sooo oblivious to his own feelings its hilarious. like hes ALSO been in love with sirius since first year he just didnt realise bc the feelings always been there.

theres this popular thing in fics and it really annoys me its like my pet peeve in fics where its like sirius only was obsessed with james bc james was his first friend or the first person that was kind to him :| i genuinely think thats just terrible analysis. firstly we KNOW andromeda and sirius were always on good terms and alphard cared for sirius too. but even if that wasnt true i genuinely dont think sirius is the kind of person to be obsessed with the first person who's nice to him. i think theres a tendency to remove sirius from his own canonical context like sirius is ... at best indifferent and at worst disinterested in ... pretty much EVERYONE. like he wouldn't just choose some random kid to obsess over. i think sirius consciously and DELIBERATELY chose james to obsess over because it was JAMES not because james HAPPENED to be the first person to be kind to sirius. also this is soo silly because if you re-read their first meeting ... JAMES ISNT EVEN NICE TO HIM LMFAOOOOO???? like hes a little shit he LITERALLY SAYS AND I QUOTE 'blimey and i thought you were alright' LIKE SIRIUS JUST SAID HIS WHOLE FAMILY ARE SLYTHERINS AND JAMES SAID THE EQUIVALENT OF 'lmfaooo your family sux' like????

this is canon but i just want to stress it more but i think the whole entire school knew james and sirius were obsessed with each other like again yes this is canon the fact 'you never saw one without the other' but i genuinely think everyone was absolutely so sick of them.

this is another popular thing in fics where it has jily being together and sirius 'moving on' ... sorry but sirius is not ever dating anyone that isnt james he is never moving on he is never trying to get past james. is that healthy? fuck no. but also prongsfoot as a dynamic is absolutely insane like it really really irritates me when fic has sirius trying to 'move on' sorry that guy is NEVER EVER going to try and get over james. ever.

another thing that is a pet peeve of mine and i realise this is now just becoming a pet peeves list but bare with me is that fic often under-emphasises how the nature of prongsfoots relationship was definitely reciprocal and by that i mean james was EQUALLY as obsessed with sirius like again to point to SWM .... it SAYS. IN THE TEXT. that harry got the feeling that james wouldnt stop being an asshole for anyone other than sirius. HARRY FEELS THAT PALPABLY BY WATCHING THEM FROM A DISTANCE!!!!!!!!!!!! but my hc is that over the summers before sirius runs away james mopes around the whole house sighing and everything because he misses sirius. like to the point where james' parents are concerned for him bc james is NOT the brooding type yet he spends a full day flat on his back glaring at the ceiling because walburga confiscated sirius' two way mirror and sirius hasnt stolen it back yet.

GOD IM SORRY THESE ARE SO LONG I HAD SO MANY MORE BUT I THOUGHT IT BEST TO CUT OFF HERE

[ottiliere]

hello! ur posts on the vagus nerve and its connections to digestions have encouraged me to do a lil mini dissertation thingy kinda focused on it/around it, ur big thread on PVT and everything really piqued my interest when i read it and i just held onto it for like a year or smthing until like last week when i started the project. Ik u said recently in one of ur posts i believe that ur not going to post the big dirk PVT post and im not here to be like yo post it because i also think u said that ur kinda moving away from like hs/dirky stuff rn ?? (im forgetting if i saw that sorry) but yeah i just wanted to say thank u etc etc, like ive never done an ask before so sorry if this is phrased weirdly but ur blog is just like one of those blogs that fundamentally changed how i view certain things in life for the better lol, like whether its ur beautiful representations / depictions of mental health in like just beautifully painted art (seriously the way u make it look like idk how to word it cartoony/really 2d but then it stands out against the background + if u zoom in and see the tiny pixel details == it makes me mad) or just like the huggeee long form posts that i like to chew on and save cuz theres so many details that AFFAAT like the way you talk abt the topics u portray has made me concious of how i would want to do so in the same way ig u get me. anyway this got really long and idk if i come across coherently, but ur just a random person on the internet whos art and written thoughts that u decide to share makes me happy when i see it == makes me pace around my room and distract me from this fat essay lmao so tldr: i really appreciate what u do + i hope like that ur doing well and that u keep arting and thoughting no matter what it is that u choose to focus on

(uve made me comitted to reading jthm, playing psychonauts and giving jjba w/ dio another go lmao) 🫶🫶

Hello! I’m sorry this reply is coming so late, this ask in particular is very sweet and has stuck out to me.

I’m really happy to have introduced you to PVT, this is something I’ve heard from a few different people on here and it’s very sweet… I did my thesis on it in college and the time really flew by while working on it, things you don't think could possibly attributed to "nerve issues" being nerve issues is always an eye-opener, isn't it? being able to research things that interest you & access information in general really is a privilege in this day and age.

“The topics [I] portray” are very important to me, so it’s heartening when others take interest in spite of the obvious deterrents. A lot of what I love making art about is unpalatable to most, and while I do understand the reasons for that on principle, it can make things feel a little insular. I genuinely believe there’s a lot of value in depicting tableaus of misery.

The last year has brought a lot of very unforeseen changes, and my life is quite different from when I initially made this blog to post about him! That’s also part of why I’ve been so sparse here…though I’m working to change that quite soon. I love sharing my work, and I’ve had the privilege of meeting some truly wonderful people through this website. That said…with where I’m at now, I’m not sure I’ll be posting the Dirk essay anytime soon, I’m afraid.

I’ve undertaken a few ongoing projects, one of which in particular is an original project I plan on sharing publicly here hopefully within the next month or so. I hope it’s something you & anyone else who’s stuck around with me here will enjoy, but failing that, I’ve really enjoyed working on it thus far.

Thank you for the sweet ask, take care, and good luck with your project!

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hi Cas :) was wondering if you would be able to offer any of your wisdom (or really just read my ask, I think I just kind of need to get it out, please don’t feel pressured to reply).

So my issue is that I think I might have a crush on my best friend. We are both nearly 15 and both female, which is where the bulk of the problem arises. I’ve been suspecting for a few years now that I’m probably queer, and probably bi or pan (not really going with a label right now, I’m not out so I see no reason to, but I’ve also just been sort of pushing it to the back of my mind).

Ive known my best friend since we first started school together in our first year of school, and I know she’d be supportive of me if I came out to her. But lately whenever she’s been talking about some guy or wanting to get a boyfriend or whatever I’ve been weirdly jealous, and once or twice I’ve been thinking about what it would be like to kiss her. To put it simply: if she asked me on a date, I probably wouldn’t say no.

I feel really terrible about this and want to tell her, but know it would completely compromise our friendship, and I really don’t want to do that. I also feel like I really shouldn’t like her, like I’m commuting some social crime. I’m like 95% sure she’s straight, so I don’t see any reason to tell her, but i still feel guilty about it for some reason.

And then I feel guilty that I even think I like girls at all, because part of me thinks I just want to be part of the LGBTQ community - I don’t have many good friends and the queer community seem to be one of the few communities that are really accepting, and I wonder if maybe I’m just identifying with them because I’m considered an ‘outsider’ as well.

I’m sorry to dump this all on you and I don’t even fully know what I’m asking. It kind of just feels good to write it out and know there’s a possibility of someone reading it, so, thanks?

Anyway I hope you have the loveliest day :)

Hi!!!

So a few thoughts here, okay?

First of all, it is literally so common for people to think they're like...faking being queer. But the thing is, you're not faking it. You literally took the time to sit here and type out this long message to some stranger on the internet. You're not faking.

Second, you're not breaking any rules or being weird by liking your friend. You can't control who you like, and it's so normal to end up with feelings for a friend. There's no reason to feel guilty at all! Objectively, being liked is a compliment!

As far as telling her your feelings, that's where it could get a bit tricky, because sometimes things can get a bit awkward if feelings aren't returned, no matter what genders people are. If it was me, I'd probably start by coming out to her (you said she's a safe person) and seeing how she reacts. If she starts to act more affectionate, then that could be a sign that she returns feelings, you know?

I hope this helps. Remember, your feelings are so valid and I'm here if you need to talk!

(Also I am naming all the anons who write to me in case they want to write in the future, and I am using a random positive affirmation generator to do so. So I dub thee: admirable anon. Enjoy your free tag!)

[piasdo]

a small fic request: some fluff about Papa IV. pairing can be reader insert / one of the ghouls / OC or platonic relationship is okay, too. maybe a birthday fic would be nice...? 😊 thank you in advance if you will write this 🧡

HELLO ANON🫂 !!! this is my first time doing this, im squealing over the fact that people actually sent in requests..literally so sorry it took me so long to post this, i wrote it like two days after you sent this in and then i just never posted it cuz i didnt like it at the time, i think it okay now though, so here you go! also im not sure if this was for your birthday, but if it is then happy birthday :3 most likely very late

You had been part of the ministry for years now, working alongside Sister Imperator, making sure all of the pieces of the tours stayed on track. Keeping them all together was hard work, and it had slowly taken a toll on you. Sometimes the looming idea of another long day amongst ratty organisers felt like carrying a bag of bricks on your shoulders. You were some hardy earthen clay, but this much going on in your head was a hydraulic press.

It had been a rough day, Sister had said it herself as she sipped on a random cup of coffee she had laying across your planning table. You didn’t know how she did it, keeping all of it in and still making such a wonderful outcome. She had kept you in late today, for some odd reason. All the work was done, you’d already stacked all the maps and papers and booking files for the next tour together in one, intimidating pile. Every time you tried to leave though, she would call you back to look over very random things.

“How does this email look? I want it to be perfect.” Sister Imperator mumbled timidly, with a strangely still smile, like she was keeping a terrible secret to herself. Everybody knew she had the most pristine email skills in the world. It should’ve been criminal how that woman could get anyone under her thumbs with the click of send or a meek phone call. Of course though, you nodded and returned to the table. Leaning down, you ignored the crimp ache in your back and read through the— as expected— incredibly well written message. It was condensed but not lacking what it needed. Simple, quick, effective. That was how she rolled, and she executed it with a clean cut every time.

“It’s…fine, Sister.” You replied after a quick pause, holding a heavy drawl in your voice. It was your birthday, for hell’s sake, and all you’d done all day was work. Your eyes hurt, your spine feels twisted and damn…how does your right leg go half numb? Don’t get it wrong, you loved your job; and you didn’t blame anyone for having you labour on your special day. You were just tired, and yearning for your comforting bed in the abbey.

Sister Imperator closed her laptop with a swift hand, the screen coming down across the keyboard silently. A look of sympathy flashed in her eyes, followed with a sparkle of guilt, almost as if she were hiding something from you. “I’m sorry for keeping you in, you know how this gets.” Her hand waved sluggishly over the table. Following her gesture you pondered over her words, eyes fogging over briefly.

“I do, Sister. It’s not a problem. Um…” You looked sideways hesitantly, your bag hanging limp over your shoulder. “Is that all?”

She opened her mouth quickly to say something, and your knees drew somehow more magnetically drawn to the floor at the idea of her proposing another task. In a split moment, her lips sealed.

Sister’s eyes dashed to the doorway behind you, and a riveting smile dashed across her face. Satan, she looked so excited you half assumed you’d turn around and see the anti-christ himself waltzing in with a pretty bouquet of wild roses. Your feet dragged against the floor as you spun to face the door. You were seriously contemplating popping out to go to the store, and maybe grabbing a nice treat so you could at least get yourself something nice on your day. Almost immediately— after your sleepy head processed the sight in the doorway— a sweet warmth bubbled in your chest.

Copia stood there in his usual zip-up jumper, lazy sweatpants underneath, and the most gorgeously handmade cake ever in his palms. Weakly lit candles burned in the middle, lighting up the cute piped icing around the edge. You swayed on your feet with the soft mellow melting down your heavy limbs.

“Happy birthday!” He blurted awkwardly, removing one hand..dangerously..from the cake to make jazz hands…jazz hand? You just stood there, eyes wide and fatigued, a pure smile tugging helplessly at your lips. Copia shuffled forward to put the small cake on the table before he shucked his hands to his hips, a little proud expression over his usual.

[sizzlingpatrolfox]

Im not that same anon, but i will say the way you jokingly talk like a taekooker can sometimes be triggering and hurtful to people like me who really love jimin and thought they curated their spaces to jimin focused accounts. Ive even seen taekookers use your blog posts in their arguments bullying jimin.

I’ve followed you long enough to know you’re being sarcastic but i do get sometimes triggered by how you try to prove Taekook in the exact way Taekookers do, a joke or not. but that’s our problem and you’re allowed to say whatever you want, and we can obviously unfollow you. Just adding my perspective.

- Allow me to give a honest opinion. I won't say you're a tkkr or anything because i know you're a ex jkkr and you don't ship jm with anyone. But from the way you write it definitely seems like you have alot of pent up anger towards jk and tae individually as well as together and that definitely reflects more into your writing when it involves those two. I think it's because you're an ex jkkr so it might be because feels betrayed by both of them on jm's behalf, like their behaviour towards him etc. Yes i myself recent the two guys the most and don't think they're worthy of jm's friendship too. Idk how long you have been on this blog but since the time i have followed you if i didn't know better i would think you're a jkkrs' hater more than of Tkkrs. It's one thing to to recent shippers it's another thing to turn it more towards just one group of shippers that is jkkrs. I remember you saying something like you felt betrayed or something about ITS tk talk cause even tho they said they're awkward it didn't show in their actions or something along that so i think you hate them both alot.

personally idc who you're calling husband or what cause all pjms call them husbands but they also think both of them are straight, would have unfollowed you long ago. I only replied cause i saw anons calling you tkkr. Anyways tk husbands married in Vegas currently with 3 kids and 3rd or 5th anniversary according to tkkrs. If you don't know they also has a shared apartment in japan jk brought for taehyung and he was staying there while jm was in hotel. Such a bad friend jk didn't even invite jm to come to their tk house 😔

---

Well, that I understand because taekook as a ship used to bother me just as much. It was annoying and sometimes it still is, tho it's become more of a dislike towards them as people rather than the ship itself.

In late 2019, there was some random poll in some irrelevant online magazine (like soompi and stuff) about "which member is the closest to Jungkook?". Jin won. Army voted for Jin and not Jimin, who was without a doubt the closest to Jungkook that year. At that time, things like that also bothered me and made me sad. Now, I guess it's been so long since I got over it and it's a joke. Besides, I understood that most of the information army picked up on was coming from the members themselves, and I couldn't spend a lifetime getting angry about things Taehyung, Jungkook and even Jimin himself weren't going to change.

That vminkook live in November 2021? Watching some parts of it felt terrible. I got over it quick, but at the time I didn't like it. A lot of taekook stuff bothered me, but what is anyone going to do about it lol. And I learned that, and I accepted it. Jimin literally posted taekook with their faces smashed together on his Instagram some weeks ago and pjms were laughing and rejoicing about him giving something to taekookers.

"Ive even seen taekookers use your blog posts in their arguments bullying jimin." Sorry but I don't believe you, like you just made that up.

Yeah but the thing is, I'm not trying to prove taekook lmao. I'm just making fun of the way shippers in general talk. Like, it would've meant the world to jikookers if it was Jimin with bam, right? They actually spent a lot of time trying to prove that Jimin is with bam often, but because it's Taehyung that has actual proof of spending time with Bam at Jungkook's house, they get annoyed at it and talk about conspiracy theories. Or ignore it. Now, Bam it's irrelevant. But if it had been Jimin, they would've also said the same thing I said about Taehyung spending time at Jungkook's.

And that's the whole point... call it satire if you will.

Before this discussion started, I was going through my blog, right. I reblogged some old posts. Remember when Jimin went to NYC and he wore shorts and jikookers were making viral sex jokes about how he'd shaved for Jungkook (Jimin is clean shaven in every BTS content btw, and so are the other members). Well, while going through my posts I saw this one where I said Jimin shaved and moistuzed his legs for Eunwoo like...

That stuff sounds out of pocket to me, and I will make fun of it. if people are missing the joke it's really not me. Or maybe they haven't been in shipper spaces as much as I have been. I'm sorry if I come across as too convincing??

Mind you, there were people who got angry because I talked about minimoni, or even about Saeon and Eunwoo. Someone literally came up once and told me that liking minimoni was weird because Namjoon talked about Jimin in a creepy and predatory way. Some people are just deranged, and I know that.

I honestly have no respect left for jikookers after face, or rather after this year, the way I have no respect for taekookers. They've become an easy punching bag with how delusional they were since 2021, and most of my jokes are me just saying the same things they say about jikook, but using it for different ships because it's all so ridiculous. And the most delusional ones are always Jungkook biased jikookers who thought Jimin was undeserving of support and talk about the two of them like Jimin is the lesser one in talents, ambition, or achievements.

[1d1195]

HIIIII it’s been a while i’m so sorry i’ve just had a terrible time since i sent my last ask :// summer is soooo kicking my ass but i am trying to persevere !!🫡 LMAO

MAKING HIM TAKE BUZZFEED QUIZZES IS SO SMART OMG I NEED TO TRY THAT !!! he said Steal My Girl 😂😂 lil basic but i can’t blame him it is a bop, we both go crazy when that one comes on

I SAW THE NEWEST UPDATE ON THE my-boyfriend-is-trying-to-be-a-writer-thread and SAMANTHA I CANT WITH YOU LMAOOOOOO this thread is so funny i just love that IT KEEPS GOING dw queen i devoured that 10k traditional chapter as if it were 1k🫡🫡🫡

also queen just wanted to let you know your stories follow me everywhere🥹 saw a framed poster on etsy titled ‘Wildflower Garden’ and it was SOOOOOOOOOO protection coded💔💔 it was a bunch of pretty flowers and it had Sweet Creature lyrics “wherever i go, you bring me home”😭😭 i love them sm he would totally buy it as a present for her on a random tuesday and they would forever hang it up in their home😭 and i saw a video on insta and i was CACKLING😭😭 some girl was talking abt how her dentist had his fingers in her mouth and she said something inappropriate and i was like ‘this is basically the plot of chapter 2 of Toothpaste’ HAHAHAHAH

i saw you posted Most and it looks SOOOO interesting but i really can’t lie im scared to read it cause everyone and their MOTHER are in your inbox hating on some bitch named lauren ??? i don’t know her AND I DONT NEED TO TO KNOW THAT IM NOT GONNA LIKE HER EITHER😭😭 THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN !!! once u post part 2 i’ll def read it🙂‍↕️🤞

I STARTED LOVE AND OTHER WORDS LAST NIGHT ??? I ALREADY LOVE IT i’m barely a hundred pages in and i’m soooo invested in their story. what gets me is homegirl KNOWS he’s the love of her life and HE KNOWS IT TOO ?? and i’m just sitting here like “make out already ???🤨” HAHAHAHA but i know it’s not that easy😔 but i will defff let you know what i think as i read some more

idk if im stupid or what but i had NO clue Christina Lauren was TWO PEOPLE AHAHAHAHAH i opened the back cover of the book and i was like😦😦 ive seen SOOO many people talk about and recommending their books yet i never knew that ?😭 i think co-writing books with your bestie is SOOO amazing omg

HOW ARE YOUUUU ?? I MISS YOU SO MUCH 💕💕 catch me up on everything, big or small it doesn’t matter 🫶🫶🫶

~🎶

Oh no! I'm so sorry to hear you weren't doing well! I hope everything is okay, feel free to vent if you need to 💕 I'm so happy to hear from you, but don't feel bad about late replies, I'm happy to hear from you at all 💕

Steal My Girl reminds me of fall (the whole album does) but that was my favorite of their first song album drops. It really fit the vibe. The music video always makes me laugh. I never knew I needed to see Louis with a chimp until then 😭 A LITTLE BASIC. I'm SCREAMING. Good for him though, I don't think that's an obvious choice for casual listeners. I love it!

HAHAHAHAHA I feel like I'm truly living a double agent life. I feel a little bad but I will never tell him. He'll live without knowing. You're so kind 😭 10k of Harry being sick is usually where I start rereading Traditional. I don't think I've reread parts 1-5 since like maybe a week after I wrote them 😂

Omg that's so cute 😭 I think about that a lot, if my writing pops up in people's lives. Someone a while back sent a message that their parents got a new washer and dryer and her mom tested it with like one sock and it made her think about Love and Dryer Sheets and I just thought that was so cool 😭 I LOVE the idea of her buying the poster for her on a random Tuesday. I feel like Toothpaste is going to be simultaneously the most relatable one and least relatable one as idk if I know any hot dentists 😭 but that's really funny nonetheless!

I think I remember you telling me that you don't like to read unfinished stories? I think you did it with Dolcezza maybe; no worries either way. But knowing that, you may want to sit this one out until I get like part 2 AND 3 posted? I feel like I'm going to get "SAMANTHA -🎶" in my inbox and nothing else if you read it before it's done 😂 But yes, we HATE Lauren here. But of course I want you to read it when you have time/want to 💕 I would love to hear your thoughts!

I'm so happy you're loving it! MAKE OUT ALREADY LITERALLY. I just loved their story so so much he's so in love with her I cannot. It gets a little deeper but it hooked me so fast I couldn't put it down. I think I read it in one day.

YES. I forget how I figured it out, if I also read the back cover or if I was googling them or something idk. But it's SO cool they write together! I wish I had a writing bestie to do that with, but anyway!

I'm doing well! I think when we last chatted I was STRESSED™ over everything and now I'm MUCH less stressed thankfully. I'm really not doing a whole lot these days. Just trying to enjoy the summer even though the weather is crappy af lately. Too hot to breathe one day and then raining off and on for hours. Can't do anything outside. I made a yummy pasta dish for dinner last night and other than that, my life is pretty boring.

I hope you're doing better, I've missed you so much as well! I hope that things calm and settle for you so you can relax and enjoy 💕

xoxo

[coqvttes]

ngl babes i forgot about the request too, and OMG??? that sounds so fun, being in austria and being surrounded by cute boys its on another level. also good for you for shutting out that stupid concert guy, told you it was better off. besides you’re probs too pretty to be worried about him.

it is so truee, cafes are so nice and like homely (?) if that’s a word, but he literally told me after finishing our chat “well this is your second home, you’re welcome to come back anytime” I WAS CRYING SERIOUSLY.

ALSO RANDOM QUESTION, my birth is in two weeks (i’m sorry i love phrasing it like that) and it got me thinking, what’s your sign toots? if you know your sun, moon, rising and venus you GOT to tell me!!!! mine are taurus sun, leo moon, libra rising and gemini venus :D

☆*:.｡. nonnie sofi .｡.:*☆

Hey sofi!!! missed you! hope that u are well. I'm so sorry for being so late on my reply, i have been going through a lot recently but i dont wanna drop it all on you guys so ive just been keeping my distance. I hope that you had a wonderful birthday, very sorry that I missed it!! Tell me all about it! 💗🎀

im a Sagittarius sun, moon and rising, im a scorpio venus! :)) i dont know what any of that means i just used the calculator just now because you asked me LLMAOOO could u explain it to me?? xx

[pingunaa]

YES THANK YOU!whatmakes it sligtly worse is that hes gay himself so idk why he has such a strong hatred against lesbians when he knows what its like to be made fun of for his sexuality 🤨

ong the extra bit!

SO BASICALLY. last week he suddenly started ignoring my friend group p. ok so i need names so friend 1 is going to be ship, friend 2 is nail, friend 3 is tuna. i just thought of random words btw… OH AND THE person we do NOT like is going to be uh… dorf. thats ford backwords cus why not!!

so he just ignored us the entire week and we thought oh, maybe he just dossnt want to hang out with us cus he has other friends too and he just sat with them the entire time so it was like oh cool. it was VERy peaceful without him btw like, everyone was in a good mood n stuff. and then friday night ship and tuna start messaging me like “DO NIT OPEN DORF’S MESSAGE” and it turns out he sent us all an apology for ignoring us n stuff. hold on im gonna copy and oaste it,

Hey [pinguna] can we talk i just wanted to say im like super duper duper duper sorry for ignoring you and the others and I hope i didn't make you feel bad or anything but if you and the others (im also sending them separate apology texts) are fine with it I was wondering if yk we could just be friends again ig and like hangout and stuff don't feel pressured to say yes im just apologising right now you don't have to decide anything right now

but! so ship, tuna and i were on a call and looking at the mesage together and it tirns out HE COPY AND PASTED THE MESSAGE AND GAVE US ALL THE SAME ONE EXCEPT NAIL. nail git her own custom apology 😝 and for extra backstory nail and dorf have been friends since grade 4 and the rest of us became friends with him last year!

and as we now know, he HATES ME! so when he sent the apology i was like uh… doesnt he hate me and i then sent a message like “uh dont u hate me?” and he said this “Yes I 100% mean this like i appreciate you and the others so much i know sometimes im not the best person but you all really do mean a lot” and i laugjed so much. i wanted to say that he sounded SO fake and he didn’t appreciate me that well for the past year but my friends i was calling said that was too mean so i had to say “dw but we haven’t been on best terms for a big big time now”

and then he has the AUDACITY to ask me WHAT HE DID TO MAKE ME FEEL THAT WAY.

and i sent him this short list but i can add to it if i want to

-push me to the front just to make fun of me

-ignore me and sit with people you claim to hate with your guts JUST to not sit with me

-constantly try to exclude me in everything

-constantly trying to make everyone else make fun of me

and THEN HE REPLIES TO ME WITH THIS,

“OMG i’m so so sorry like i don’t think you know how much i do actually care about you i get i don’t show it I can really try change to be nicer but i get that sometimes sorry and changing isn’t always enough I do get I’m pretty mean i really don’t wanna make it about me but i have a bit going on lately and i hate that i have made you feel that i don’t care about you and i just want you to know i didn’t sit with people i hate to not sit with you because i don’t like you or anything i just thought you were mad at me or something which i understand if you were so i just wanted to give you all some space because I felt like i was too much like there is nothing wrong with you or that you have done wrong❤️”

i fear hes done this like.the entire time ive known him so according to him, ive neen mad at him since march of 2023 😗 and then i replied back to him with “i do understand that but its been going on for more than a year, nothings changed”

AND THEN HE SAYS “I’m so sorry I have ignored this i feel terrible well thanks for telling me look if you want me to do something to try to mend it because you do mean a lot to me or you just want me to leave you alone just let me know I won’t be mad either way”

MY FRIENDS TOLD ME TO BE NICE AND TELL HIM ITS OKAY TOO!?

i fear my friends and i are probably at fault for him 5alking to us again. but we do plan to tell him straight up to not hang with us anymore on thursday :p

and then i said “its alright ig” and then he said ong thank u or smth and i left him on opened. i know kt seems kike hes trying to be nice but i swear if you knew him IRL, you would know hes just neing desperate 😔

OKAY SO THIS WAS A SUPER LONG RANT!!!!!

IM DONE WITH THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!!!

HOOORAY!!! HOW WAS IT???

[gustingirl]

gvf headcanon | you have a difficult relationship with your mom

request: nella loml, ive had a shitty go of it lately; do you think you could do a headcanon for the boys dating someone who has a difficult relationship with their mom? This is very oddly specific but I think it would be interesting considering they have such good relationships with their own moms.

disclaimer: @gardenofgreta hope this is good!

josh.

i think he would have a hard time at first, you know? i mean, it’s not his issue at all, but it would be hard for him to help you deal with something he has never lived before. he would try to stay as silent as possible whenever you feel like complaining or whenever your mom is a topic of conversation. mostly because he would be scared of saying the wrong thing. like he would one day try to make you understand moms deserve to be understood and maybe the comment would start an argument, and so i think he would stay quiet and support you in his own way.

a cute scenario that i picture is the following: you had left on friday afternoon to go back to your hometown. josh wanted to join you, knowing seeing your mom in person would upset you, and he wanted to be there for you. however, he had a concert on saturday and there was no chance he would sneak out with you, not even for a few hours. josh still worked hard on being by your side as much as he could, through texts and random facetime calls. as the hours would go by, he could tell you were getting more upset. by sunday afternoon, josh had his heart broken at the sight of you on the edge of tears, and he was so far away from you. monday morning came, the day you were coming back home. josh had spent the entire morning cleaning up the apartment, working inside his head the perfect speech to give you after you would rant all you had been eating up for days. every single word he had prepared inside his head suddenly vanished as soon as you walked inside his place. he didn’t hesitate to run to you, embracing you in a tight hug that lasted for eternity.

“she’s the worst, josh” you complained, hiding your face in his neck

josh stayed quiet for a while, swallowing hard as he rubbed your back. the speech he had been cooking was actually good, but now it was gone and he needed to reply.

“i-i…um, you know how…i mean, when you…” he ended up sighing, giving up on helping “i’m sorry, y/n”

you pushed him away slightly, confused at his sad tone. the look on his face was even sadder, and you worried something had happened. however, josh’s frustration was explained before you could ask what was going on.

“i feel so helpless, baby” he bit his lip, his eyes glancing at anything but your eyes “i don’t know what to say”

you couldn’t help but laugh, knowing how different your mother and child relationship was.

“it’s alright, i don’t need you to say anything” it was your turn to hug him, and as you did, you began explaining everything that had happened. josh quickly learned that, sometimes, he didn’t need to say anything, just listen to you and be there for you.

sam.

oh, something tells me sam is the type who stand up for what’s wrong. like, he was in debate club. chances are this man is up for an argument or debate or fight or whatever literally any time. and especially if it’s you who he is standing up for. i also feel he doesn’t care about the other person when he’s saying what he’s saying, like he wants to win. in the case of a partner who has a rough time with their mother, i feel sam would try to stay respectful, and under the “with all due respect” he would say everything that’s on his mind.

visiting your birth home was always a weird experience for both. most of the times you had done it, luckily, another relative was around to keep you and your mother separated. everybody who knew you two was aware of the awful relationship. sam was one of those people, and he would always make sure to stay literally by your side, if possible to prevent any catastrophe. but that long weekend you took sam with you to visit your family took several twists. many cousins showed up, along with aunts and uncles. your aunts loved samuel so much, and to your misfortune, they would always steal him from you. it was a birthday taking place and you were wishing you could have sam with you. for the moment, he was entertaining the crowds while playing the piano and sharing stories he had of meeting elton john and smoking weed with him (totally not true but who could even corroborate that?). you were laughing from afar as you sipped some wine, but your glass got empty quite fast and you sneaked inside the kitchen that, to your luck, was empty. however, loneliness didn’t last for long as you mother entered right behind you. without giving you the time to react, she began throwing mean, small comments that had always been fuel to your anger. you weren’t the stubborn teenager you used to be, and now those comments had comebacks you had always been preparing. the constant back and forth turned into a heated argument, one that you feared could be heard from the other side of the door. however, the music sounded so loud, you were sure this was staying between you two. you were being able to fire back every single statement, but you were losing a bit as your mother would not put his arms down.

“you had always been a hard kid, y/n and that is not my fucking fault!” your mother shouted from the other side of the room

“i beg to differ” a male voice interrupted the tension building up in the kitchen, and both you and your mother turned around, only to find sam staring hard at her

“excuse me?” your mom questioned as she crossed her arms over her chest

“with all due respect, ma’am, you can’t blame a child for your wrongdoings” sam sounded polite as he stood right by your side, holding your waist with his hand. however, you could feel his words were laced with something else

“y/n is not a child” your mother was strong on her point, but she didn’t seem to know samuel enough

“she was one, and you just said she had always been a hard kid but that doesn’t seem like something an eight year old or a five year old could be blamed for. how could y/n raise herself? wasn’t that supposed to be your job?”

you were a huge fan for this side of sam, and you couldn’t believe your sight, as your mother was left speechless

“nobody talks to me like that, you are disrespecting me!”

“respect my girlfriend and i’ll respect you” sam was quick with comebacks, even quicker than you.

the last words made your mom leave the room throwing a weird tantrum, and you breathed out as you hugged sam. maybe the weekend was not gonna be as hard as you thought.

danny.

with dan, i get the idea he would be a supporter only if you’re in your mother’s presence. like he wouldn’t give you much space to talk about her and you wouldn’t exactly want to do it either. he still would know about your relationship, but he wouldn’t try to ever make a comment. and if you are by your mother’s presence, i feel danny would try to be very polite, as much as he can, and even stay in the middle between you two. if she’s making a weird or rude comment, danny would make sure he’s the one responding.

you had go visit for christmas, unfortunately. it was the only way you could actually see your family, but in order to see your favorite relatives, you also had to see your mom. the idea worried you, and you actually thought about canceling. thanks to danny, you didn’t. he knew how much it meant for you to be able to see your other relatives, and he wasn’t going to let you lose that chance because of your mom. with the promise of staying by your side, you accepted his offer to join the visit. the car ride felt better, and even better felt the actual christmas party. your mother was nowhere to be found, and the sight of danny playing with your cousins made your heart beat faster. however, it is impossible to avoid the inevitable. your mom stood by your side as you were checking your phone and began trying to take a conversation out of you. for a while you tried pushing her away, as polite as you could. but her mean comments made a comeback, and there wasn’t much you could do about them. she had always been the same and there was no way she could change. you were about to blow up and began a nasty argument in front of everybody when danny’s voice surprised both of you.

“mrs. y/l/n!” danny stood quickly by your side as he extended his hand, taking your mother’s and greeting her with a rather fake smile

“you must be daniel” her tone was dry and her eyes were judging everything they saw; you knew that look pretty well

“danny is fine” he nodded slowly, looking quickly at you “i’m y/n’s boyfriend” his smile now was evidently genuine, and it felt like home to you

“that’s what i’ve been told” she was still the same, and you hated what could come next “why?”

the question was definitely weird, so danny’s confused reaction made sense

“why what?”

“why are you dating y/n?” danny knew well what the question implied, as you had warned him about your mom before

“do you have time? i got a long list” his charm was exactly perfect for the moment, and your mother could only fake laugh as she walked away.

you managed to steal a kiss from him before adding a thank you. by his side, you could breathe.

jake.

jake, deep down, would be so frustrated. i can see him keeping it to himself, though. like he would listen to you complain and he would swallow every thought in order to be able to listen to you and comfort you when you need it. i bet he would explode one day, it may turn into a fight if you’re not understanding his point. but back to supporting you, it would break his heart to see you struggling with your mom, but all he would do is hug you and listen to you.

he could never forget the day he found you crying. you were curled up inside your bed by the time he came back home. you were supposed to go to work while he was giving an interview, but jake never expected to find you crying, still in your pajamas, still inside your shared bed. it wasn’t his first time seeing you cry loudly, but most of the times he could tell the reason why. there was no evident explanation to your breakdown, so all jake could do was climb back inside your bed and hug you tightly until you could breathe normally again. once you felt like you could talk without breaking down again, you explained what had happened. the mention of your mom’s name made jake’s ears tingle. he had heard a million stories about difficult moments shared with your mom, and he hated to have such a negative opinion about a mother. he could barely understand how someone could bring a child to this world and not live for their child, no matter their age. you hadn’t even lived with your mom for years, and she still could make you cry. jake didn’t dare to say a word, as he knew all you wanted was somebody to hold you tight while you cried. however, there wasn’t much he could do as you began crying again.

“she says these horrible things, jake” you spit in between sobs “she makes me feel like shit”

“i know” jake mumbled into your hair as he played with it, knowing the action could always calm you down

“she said you don’t love me” the new comment woke jake up, as confusion mixed with anger began taking over him “that you’re just filling an emptiness with me. that when you get a new, younger girl you would leave me”

now he truly wasn’t controlling himself as he pushed your head away from your chest, holding your face with his hands to make you look at him.

“and you believed her?” he wasn’t mad, he couldn’t be mad at you

you didn’t reply, so he continued

“babe, that woman doesn’t know me. she barely even knows you, and she claims to be your mother” jake sighed, trying hard to control his words and not be disrespectful “your mother always says things that are not true, darling. it’s not me who should tell you this, but you gotta realize what she says is a fucked up lie. baby, i can’t tell you why she does this, but trust me, that woman doesn’t know about us. don’t let her get through you, babe”

you swallowed and nodded, not needing another lecture now. jake could see it in your face and he sighed once more before bringing your head back into his chest. he stayed like that for a good time, without even checking if you were actually breathing. all that was running through his head were awful comments he had to swallow, as he could never say them out loud.

[softdykellie]

omgomgomg but like who do you ship me with

okayyy, so im a bi girl, dirty blonde hair, blue/green eyes, im around 170cm (i think thats like 5'7) ive got freckles and idk what else to say abt looks

am an estp cancer, and definitely have an attitude. im also an ambivert probably and i like music so much, my favorite kind is likee alternative and 70's rock, and i also have like a mixed style, but i like to think of it as rockstar girlfriend.

my favorite color is green (sage) and fav flowers are tulips (they are just the prettiest) i love taking risks because we only live once. i also loveee spontaneous things and random fun

i also love wearing a bold lip mostly like red OR something completely neutral and theres no in between, im also a total cat person

ty and sorry for the terrible grammar im very sleep deprived 💋💋

babe i was literally cracking my brain to figure out who i’d ship you with so i thought i’m just gonna run with all of them- you found out you liked girls through a seven minutes in heaven game in high school where the bottle landed on dina who grabbed your hand leading you towards the designated make out closet and held your face in her hands as if she carried a star between her fingertips before capturing your lips, green apple lipgloss, light alcohol and effortless softness that left you breathless. you dated for a while, the girl made it a hobby to map out real constellations on your freckles and tease you about your music taste she didn’t quite get yet still memorized, you only broke up when jesse entered the scene driving a wedge in your previously perfect relationship. by the time her and jesse no longer worked out and missing you became an all too usual feeling it was too late, because there she found you with ellie. the first time you met she’d solely refer to you as her groupie, always catching your eye while she played guitar as though you were a safehaven among any crowd, she was cocky with you, playful, wrap her arms around your shoulders and make you blush at any opportunity, you brought out a fire inside her that would not be extinguished by anything and god did this girl absolutely adore showing off to you. when you broke up after a heated fight the following months meant three different angsty heartbreak songs finding their way to you, obviously through her. that’s when abby came along. your close friend who has been there since the beginning, suddenly edging on a little too long about how annoying your ex girlfriend was- besides completely obsessed with you! when you finally caved to teasing, asking her if she was jealous you were surprised at the reply: what if i am? the rest was history (…and sex).

[rogue-durin-16]

AN UNUSUAL YEAR (Part I/V)

Summary: After having little to no interest on girls for five years, Fred suddenly feels the need to nag the shit out of a certain witch, completely oblivious to the reason behind it.

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Slytherin!Reader

Genre: fluff (+ enemies to lovers)

Tags:

Permanent taglist: @elia-the-bibliophile @randomparanoid @karlthecat15722 @thebutchersdaughtersblog

Warnings: none

A/N: I'm currently going through a Harry Potter fever ('tis the damn season), so I thought I'll write something. I might write more of this story, (maybe turn it into a multipart) we'll see. If you'd like to be tagged in this, let me know.

Part II

Part III

Part IV

Part V

Rogue-durin-16 masterlist

I had always supposed that reaching the sixth year at Hogwarts meant subjects would get way more demanding and complex, and I to be proven right, only two weeks in were needed.

Added to the usual difficulties, we would be hosting The Triwizard Tournament. Having the castle be almost twice as crowded as the other years, when all you crave is a quiet spot to study, wasn't ideal.

As I said, the first two weeks were already hard enough.

During the third week though, believe it or not, things got even worse —and our guests hadn't even arrived yet.

The Slytherin common room was quieter than the library these days, that's the sole reason why, at 3:35 pm, my best friend and I were already making our way there.

To our luck, we arrived just in time to see the two redheaded troublemakers par excellence high-fiving each other besides my common room's entrance.

"What on Merlin's beard are you two doing here?!" Both of them jumped at the sight of two Slytherins.

"The question is what are YOU doing here?" One of them questioned back, probably attempting to distract us. "You two should be in the library."

"What did you do?" I squinted my eyes at them and, while one raised his hands in surrender, the other just shrugged.

"Nothing." He motioned at our door nonchalantly. "If you don't believe me, check it yourself."

My friend and I shared a reluctant look, and before I could say anything, she was heading to the door.

"Mathilda wait—" I gasped when she sunk into what appeared to be the stone floor.

"Okay now, I wasn't expecting her to actually do it." When I attempted to step forward, a hand on my forearm prevented me from it.

"Don't step further." He warned. "Just in case."

"I'm not stupid." I hissed before grabbing my wand, which made the tall redhead back off. "Revelio." Slowly, a swamp was revealed to be where the entrance hall to the Slytherin common room was supposed to.

Now that it was visible, both twins hurried to get my friend out of their giant prank.

"Get rid of this." I ordered as they pulled her up, her bottom half covered in mud.

"Pffft... no?" One of them scoffed, walking away from Mathilda and stepping closer to me. "It's a masterpiece. It stays."

"If it stays, I will throw you into your masterpiece." I threatened, putting my wand back in my pocket.

"Oh, I'd love to see you try."

I glared at him, partially because I hated that cocky attitude these two —specially him— always exhibited, but also because I had to look up in order to make eye contact.

"Listen Weasley,"

"It's Fred." Oh what would I give to wipe that stupid grin off his face.

"I don't care." Refusing to step back as he clearly wanted to achieve by towering me, I stepped forward, lightly pushing him back with one hand. "You will remove this from here or I will walk right now to the Potions Classroom and split on you."

The twins seemed to have a silent conversation with their eyes only. After a moment of silence, the one with my friend spoke. "We'll get rid of it right now and you won't say anything." I nodded, my eyes still fixed on Fred's. "Just so we're clear, this was not set up for you."

"The next one will be, though." Fred assured me with an almost wicked smile. "I'll make sure you can't use the revelio on it."

"Is that a promise, Weasley?" I asked in an unconsciously defying tone.

"You can be sure of it, Y/l/n."

"It's Y/n." I retorted, mocking him.

"I don't care." I rolled my eyes when he did the same, finally breaking eye contact with him.

"C'mon Thilda," I held out my hand to her "let's see if someone can sneak us into the Ravenclaw common room."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You think Fred meant it?" Mathilda inquired, the worry slipping through her words as she played with her breakfast.

"I doubt so." Angelina, who was sitting in front of us, replied without even looking up from her quidditch history book. "They seem more trouble than they are, really." I scoffed; it was easier for her to say that; she was a Griffindor after all. "Deep down they're nice sort, Y/n. They won't pick up on you for ruining a prank."

"I don't trust them."

"I'm not saying you have to—" Angelina jumped slightly when a wad of paper hit my face.

"You were saying?" I grunted, making eye contact with the red haired boy waving at me from the Griffindor table.

When I opened the wad, it read:

'miss me? —Fred ;)'.

"Look at his smug face." I hissed. "I'm gonna-"

"Ignore him. You're gonna ignore him." Angelina finished, fairly unconcerned. "I assure you he'll get bored in less then two days if he can't get a reaction out of you."

For the sake of having breakfast in peace, I only dedicated him a fake smile and did as my friend said. It seemed to work, until it was time to leave for class.

"We should get moving." Mathilda spoke, putting her plate aside and picking up her things as I did the same.

"I have a free period now." Angelina informed us. "Or as free as it can be. You?"

"Divination. Y/n?"

"Charms— Fuck." I whined as something dawned on me. "Those gits are in my class." I spared them a glare. "If they ruin my favorite subject I'm gonna—" a sudden splash of water on my face left my shirt soaked for at least the next hour. "You got the nerve—!" I yelled at the guy who was already making eye contact with me.

"I do, indeed!" He cut me off, winking at me from across the table, his chin resting on the palm of his hand with a teasing grin dancing on his lips as he asked, "what are you gonna do now, Y/l/n?" His twin brother, though I could only see his back, was clearly not enjoying this behavior.

Mathilda checked my gaze, dreading the worst. "Y/n, don't. You're gonna make Slytherin lose points." She knew the warning wouldn't do much, but at least she had tried.

Angelina, instead of backing our friend and try to calm me down, got up and walked to the table where the Weasleys sat.

FRED'S P.O.V.

"I hope you know you're dead." Angie stood in front of me, before using her book to tap my brother's arm. "George, move."

"What?"

The three of us spared a look at Y/n, who had, ignoring McGonagall yells, stepped over her table to get to us.

"Move. Now."

"Ssshit." My brother moved just in time for Y/n to repeat the same forward move on our table.

It's not as if I didn't have the time to move and run away, she hadn't rushed; on the contrary, she walked calmed and composed, and still I did not move an inch.

I guess a part of me wanted to know what she'd do to me.

"Look at you." I began to wind her up again when she climbed off the table on my side, sitting down on its surface with her shoes over the bench. "Doing the impossible to be near me, how romant—"

My sentence died off abruptly as a handful of scrambled eggs was mashed against my face.

I heard a burst of laughs around me. "Blimey! I'm sorry, Fred," she feigned worry, smearing what I assumed were the remaining rests of my breakfast all over my chest. "I hope you're not late to Charms because of this." She whispered near my ear, making a shiver go down my spine when her breath hit my neck. "See you there, yeah?"

Her hand squeezed my shoulder and her fingers ran over my shoulder blades as she walked away.

I felt a napkin placed in my hand and I was quick to remove as much scrambled eggs as possible from my face, just in time to see Y/n exiting the Great Hall with McGonagall jogging after her.

"You know?" Lee asked, drawing my attention. "Picking up on the girl you fancy is kind of a toddler strategy."

"Yeah, Fred," my brother agreed. "you're not an eighth year-old anymore."

"And you chose the wrong girl to nag" Angie added," if you keep it up, she will surely kill you." She held back a teasing smile. "And you should be careful" she nudged George. "I don't think she can tell you both apart, you can end up as collateral damage."

"But you wouldn't let that happen, would you?" I rolled my eyes when George scooted closer to our quidditch chaser.

"Depends on how annoying you are." She faked indifference as my brother searched for her eyes.

"I don't fancy her." I not-so-randomly stated. "But I can't stop pranking her now that she ruined my breakfast."

"You can and you will, Weasley." I jolted at McGonagall's voice behind me. "Twenty points from Gryffindor." At least I'm not grounded, I thought. "And you're grounded for the rest of the week."

"But Y/n— Ouch!" my brother kicked me under the table so I would shut it.

"Y/l/n has received her fair share of punishment, too, Weasley." The professor gave me a poorly masked, disgusted look. "Go and..." She waved her hand "Clean yourself up, Y/l/n will inform professor Flitwick about this incident. And Weasley," She stared at my brother. "Aren't you supposed to be heading to Charms too?"

"Yes ma'am." He replied, throwing everything into his bag, getting up and rushing out of there, not before grabbing his robe.

"The day's promising." I groaned, handing my things over to Angelina so I could go to the bathroom.

"You made the day promising by messing with a Slytherin, you twit." She pointed out, putting my things over hers. "Now go clean those eggs from your shirt."

"Aye, mother!" I headed off before Angie could add anything else to the conversation, loosening my tie as I moved forward.

As I cleaned off everything I could in the nearest bathroom, a random thought slipped into my mind.

Had Y/n been punished too? And if so, would we fullfil the punishment together? It seemed logical that if one of us got grounded, the other one would get grounded too; consequently, it would only make sense for us to—

Shut it. I mumbled to my own mind.

I didn't care. I did not care if she was punished or not. It was none of my business.

I don't fancy her, I thought to myself once again.

[intergalactic-padawan]

hi! can you maybe do a cute/fluffy story of ezra surprises y/n on a date (and maybe a kiss)? I would love to see this!

Stressed out

Requested: yes!

Warnings: does being tired from work count?

A/N: ah, the random knowledge you find on the wookiepedia rabbitholes... I may have a very good understanding of cake in the galaxy ffa now. This was so nice to write, kinda different from what I usually do but I guess you'll be the judges of the final product hahaha

Pronouns of reader: she/her

.

x

.

To say that your morning had been disapointing was a serious understatement.

A few months ago, when rebel command offered you a position as an intelligenge analyst, you felt honoured at the opportunity to make a bigger difference and help even more with your big ideas.

Today, however, was just another frustrating attempt at getting to see some action, even after you gathered all the intel and designed the entire course of action. They always insisted on giving the mission to someone else.

-"nothing?" - Ezra asks as you step into the hall of the rebel base on Yavin IV, where you'd taken that frustration out on some innocent pillows from your bed moments before.

-"I'm seriously starting to loose hope, Ezra"

-"What did they say this time?"

-"The usual 'Thank you for the suggstion. We'll take it under advisement'."

-"That's an improvment! Last time they said 'no, and that's final'"

-"If you ask me, i think they're just trying to find different ways to let me down easily"

-"Well...at least you tried?" - he takes your hand trying to comfort you, and you sigh as he leads you two outside for some fresh air.

-"It feels like 'trying' is all i've been doing lately. What is it that Kanan said once? Do or do not-"

-"there is no try" - he finishes with a smile - "it was actually Master Yoda who said it first, i think?"

-"The point is, if even Jedi wisdom says I should be doing more than trying, there's got to be something i can do to get my hands dirty for once"

-"Jedi wisdom would also tell you to be patient, young one" - he puts on a serious face only to break out a grin afterwards, and you laugh at his efforts to try and cheer you up.

-"we're the same age, Ezra" - you say through giggles

-"Thank the Force. Or else I wouldn't be able to do this" - he spins you and brings your face closer, planting a kiss on your lips you're more than happy to reciprocate. For a moment, you let your worries escape as his company makes it a bit easier to relax.

It doesn't last long though, as you hear a robotic voice call from behind you:

-"Excuse me, commander bridger" - the droid you recognize as AP-5 looks like he would give you an eyeroll if he could - "but captain Syndulla requests your presence immediately at hangar 4. So if you are quite done with your lip-sucking we should leave at once."

You can't help but snort at what he computed a kiss as. 'Lip-sucking is one way to describe it, I guess'

-"Sorry, I have to go now"- Ezra doesn't know weither to laugh as well or scold the droid for interrupting like that - "but I'll see you at 8?"

-"what happens at 8?"

-"we go on a date. You need to relax a little, do something fun!"

You don't get a chance to reply, as he's being dragged away in a hurry by AP-5. Normally you'd object, saying you had too much work, but now it didn't seem like a bad idea; it's not like you had a mission to go to, anyway.

.

x

.

-"I'm not sure we're authorized to be here right now" - you whisper, but he hushes you while opening the double doors and turning on the light.

Baking.

This was his idea of a fun time.

But, if his intention was to take your mind off of work, he was certainly on the right path: you would be too worried with not getting caught by anyone at that hour (the kitchen was supposed to be closed, you see) and not burning anything you made to a crisp to even think about anything else.

-"c'mon, let's put our baking skills to the test!" - he starts going through the drawers until the supplies are finally found.

-"Ezra, you can't put to the test what you don't have"

-"Hey, speak for yourself! Chef Bridger is always ready to prepare you a delicious meal."

-"and what will chef bridger be making today, huh?"- you try, but can't stop the smile growing on your face

-"let's see, uhhh" - he skims throuhg a book until his eye lands on the dessert section -"how about... some hotcakes?"

-"hmm, lemme see" - you read rhrough the instructions when he hands you the book -"oh, so it's like a pancake. Sounds easy enough."

-"A panna cake? Those are next page, i think."

-"No, not those. Pancakes." - you smile and put the book on the counter, starting to set the ingredients aside - "it's a famous food where i come from. Though panna cakes are quite similar."

-"Huh, can't say i ever tried it. Now you'll have to make some for me" - he shoots you a sly grin and recieves paper towels on the face in return.

-"Aha, no way, mister. You're helping me" - you turn around, gesturing for him to help you with the apron.

-"Alright, since you insist," - he fumbles with it for a while, but gives you a quick smooch once he's done -"I'll stay here with you. But only if I get mine with zoochberries"

-"as you wish, sir"

-"and please, don't call me mister or sir." - he chuckes and shoves a tall chef hat, posing ridiculously for you to snort.

- "The name's Bridger. Chef Bridger"

[neutron-stars-collision]

The Art of Inversion

Neil x Reader

Chapter 19 - Holy Ground

Masterlist; Chapter 18

Summary: In the days before the mission in Tallinn, you and Neil have a few conversations to clear the air of doubts. Only, the mission itself proves to be a disruption...

Warnings: Swearing; mild violence.

Author’s Notes: Here we go, my favourite mission (and favourite Neil outfit too). This is only part one of the Tallinn action because so much happens... as you’ll see. I’m sorry. I really am. Hope you enjoy and please leave me feedback if you feel like it!

Song mentioned is: ‘Holy Ground’ by Within Temptation (I’ll share it in a post later but basically listen to it after reading and you’ll know why I’m obsessed)

Edit is courtesy of my amazing friend @sh3tani​ once again (ilysm and thanks for everything 💕)

The upcoming days were busy. You have been assigned the task of getting hold of some of the vehicles and artillery TP wanted for the heist in Tallinn. It was difficult, not only because it is actually rather hard to acquire a fire truck with no records left from the transaction, but also because you barely had any clue what you were actually doing. And so, most of the time, you were sat at the dining table in the flat, calling various shady people Neil gave you contacts to. Sometimes, a tea would appear in front of you, courtesy of the other team members thoroughly apologizing for how they handled the ‘alley situation’.

It seemed like your late-night walk and the cold treatment you gave everyone (including Neil) for the next 24 hours afterward worked. The jokes have ended, and contrition took their place, usually in the form of extreme helpfulness, random acts of kindness, and, in Neil’s case, a break from teasing. At least for a short while.

The only development you were not so sure of was the fact that the whole team decided to label your relationship. Not just any label but dating, verging on a couple. And that was rather terrifying. It struck you especially the night before when you have minded your own business in the kitchen. Watching over the pasta boiling on the stove, you listened to the plans made by Ives. He was trying to settle on the best way to track Neil during the heist when he suddenly turned to you with a question:

“Has your boyfriend told you what kind of car they are going for in the end?” the neutral tone made you skim over the term at first.

But then your brain caught up. What?! You almost toppled over the whole pot of pasta onto the floor when trying to drain it. Fuck. Ives was staring at you quizzically, as though confused about your current state.

“I… Who?” you stammered out the question, knowing it will only make everything worse.

“Neil” Ives grinned, “Unless you’ve gone for an open relationship and there’s another boyfriend involved”

“Christ, please stop” sighing, you tried to calm down just enough to function “I believe he’s going for a BMW, don’t know what series but something fast enough just in case there was a chase” triumphantly, you poured the sauce over the noodles.

“I’ll need to give him a call about it” Ives smacked his tongue thoughtfully.

“Feel free” using the opportunity, you grabbed the cutlery and escaped into your room.

Boyfriend? Now that was something to cause anxiety. Because despite everything that happened, all the things you have told Neil and got in return, you had no clue what you were supposed to be. Not really. Yes, sometimes you let yourself entertain the idea that maybe you were together, maybe he was your lover. But… was he? Could he ever be that?

With those thoughts occupying your mind, you only managed to last until afternoon the next day before giving in. After failing to contact a car dealer for the fifth time and realising that you have completely messed up the route plan due to forgetting about important details, you closed the laptop. It was hard to think when all your brain did was give reasons for why Neil would never actually want to be with you. To summarise: you were not enough, naïve, hopeless, and dumb enough to think that someone this incredible could think about you seriously. Stifling the sudden desire to breakdown and give up on everything, you dialed his number. He picked up almost instantly.

“Yes, my love?” your heart clenched at the nickname.

“Hi… um… Do you have a moment?” you cringed at the awkwardness.

“For you? Always”

Maybe, on another day, that would have made you smile. But that was not that kind of a day.

“Neil, I’m serious,” sighing, you rested your head on the cold wall behind your bed.

“What’s wrong?” his tone switched from playful to concerned.

Okay… now there’s no turning back.

“I’ve just been thinking...” you started, debating on the best way to breach the topic.

“Oh no”

Damn him. You cracked a small smile, knowing that was the intention. You could almost picture him at this moment, sat in some absolutely strange position in the armchair, nothing but long legs and ruffled hair. You did have it pretty bad.

“Shut up” you took a deep breath and blurted out “It’s probably stupid, and feel free to ignore this but... what even are we?”

There it is. Your whole existence hanged on his reply. But, of course, Neil needed more clarification than that…

“How do you mean?” his careful tone made your heart rate elevate.

The result was a string of sentences you shot out with the speed of a machine gun.

“Because everyone here assumes we’re dating. And Ives called you my boyfriend last night, and I don’t... I don’t know if that’s what’s going on and-”

“Okay, calm down,” he interrupted your rant “Take a deep breath” he waited until he could hear you exhale to continue “What do you want this to be? Because we’re the only people who have a say about it” the diplomatic tone made you frown.

But then maybe he just wanted to get your point of view before saying anything substantial… Trouble was you had no clue. Picking on a loose thread on your sweater, you sighed:

“I don’t know” maybe this was the right time to give him another piece of mind?  “I always hated labels because when you name something, it becomes real” you admitted, letting yourself slide down onto the pillows.

Nothing could hurt you there. Apart from potential rejection from the likely love of your life. Basically, fml, as the kids say.

“What about good things?” his question caught you off guard.

“Well, yeah, but… once there’s a couple, then there can be a break-up” the insecurity had an answer for that too.

Your cheeks heated up upon saying the word. Because even that felt like a step too far. Like maybe you were clingy. Obnoxious. Someone he could want to get rid of as quickly as possible. Before you decided to back out of the conversation, he replied:

“That’s a rather bleak way of looking at things” it was still that thoughtful tone.

A burden then.

“I know” you groaned, frustrated with yourself.

But the next thing he said was rather surprising…

“I’ll need to work on making you more optimistic. Not because I don’t like you the way you are, but because I want you to realise how wrong you are sometimes” the conviction and practical implications of the statement made you speechless.

The future tense. The admission that he did like you, with your countless issues and overbearing anxiety. It couldn’t be, could it? Neil took your stunned silence as permission to say more:

“From my side, let me say that dating doesn’t quite cut it because it implies not being sure... And…” despite yourself, your ears perked up, wanting to know what he meant.

“Yeah?” you prodded, trying to toe that precarious line between curiosity and fear of rejection.

“I’m not really in the trial stages anymore. Don’t think I’ve ever been” he clearly wanted to tell you more but was holding back.

Maybe it was for the better. Before you could think about a response to that, Neil added:

“Basically, we don’t have to use any labels. We’re just us” the simplicity of that statement broke through your resolve, making tears well up “Me and you. We know best what that implies and no one else matters” quietly, you sobbed, and he laughed before choosing to put that final nail in the metaphorical coffin “You’re my love, and that’s the only nickname I need” Neil sounded happy, as though despite your worries, he wanted to say that “I can be your idiot, as long as I’m yours” the punchline came with an audible smug smile.

Oh my god. You laughed, with tears still silently falling down your cheeks and heart hammering in your chest. He was impossible. Absolutely impossible. Suddenly asking that crucial question was not that scary. Because maybe today was the day when would tell you, without alcohol or worries prompting the confession. Taking the plunge, you spoke:

“Neil, do you-”

“Yes, I do,” he interrupted you with an answer.

“I haven’t even asked the question” you frowned, unsure whether that kind of an answer was better than a confession.

Because, yes, he already said it once (almost twice), but both those have been anything but thoughtful. And your ever doubting brain was quick to use that fact against you.

“But I know the answer” he sounded certain.

Perhaps too certain.

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want to tell you over the phone” Neil sighed heavily on the other end “Listen, I have to go… but call me or text if you need to talk” he hesitated before adding, “No matter what I want you to remember what I said that night in London”

Oh… It was the first time any of you brought it up. You just assumed it was one of the things that just slipped out in an unguarded moment. You wanted it to be true, but then that was too risky. But maybe not…?

“I heard you” you whispered despite being alone in the room.

“I know” you could picture the soft smile he sometimes gave you “Goodbye, my love. Good luck with work” at the reminder of the piles of papers still waiting, you groaned, causing him to laugh.

“Will be needed since what you’ve assigned me is close to impossible” the change of the topic was dearly welcomed.

Grabbing the laptop again, you opened it up and felt all the motivation dissolve upon the sight of the route waiting to be planned. Coffee will be needed. And maybe whiskey too.

“I believe in you,” Neil broke your brooding with a comment, “And it’s not really me who assigned it” you rolled your eyes.

“Yeah, yeah. Bye, idiot” unable to stop the grin on your face, you ended the call.

So maybe it was worth calling… Even if only to learn that he was in fact yours. And that he did not mind your insecurity or moments of anxiety. Maybe all this had some more potential than heartbreak and tragedy? Ignoring all the thoughts, you focused on the workload. After all, someone had to get all those bloody vehicles on time for the boys to play with.

*** The closer it got to the day, you could feel the tensions rising within the team. Partially it was your own fault and the fact that you were nervous. The plan was vague enough. What you and Ives’ squad knew was that TP intended to take over the plutonium 241 on the move, specifically on the highway leading out of the city. For some reason, he needed a fire truck and a firefighter suit for that. You had no clue why, but you blamed it on the boyish dreams of being a firefighter. Sure they all had those.

Neil was simply the designated driver and mission coordinator, and you hoped that meant he would stay out of harm. As much as that was possible for an idiot like him. You were not allowed to meet to stop TP from getting suspicious, and so all you could do was rely on texts and daily phone calls to keep you from going insane. The downside of the situation was that you could not slap Neil when he said questionable things. Examples being referring to the heist car as sexy (“And what if I told that it’s not the BMW that’s sexy?” “I’d be flattered”) and calling you his girlfriend on the call with Ives. That second incident resulted in the squad leader acting all smug because he apparently ‘figured it all out’. He did not, but who were you to prove him wrong.

And so, you perfected the plan, finished all the assigned tasks, and waited on instructions concerning the day of the mission. When they came, the message was simple – sit on your assess and wait, just in case the Cavalry was needed. You did not specifically like that ‘waiting’ part. Especially since Ives began insisting that you do not actually join them in the field. In his mind, the safest place for you was the flat. Not being a part of the squad and not having enough experience were the main factors acting against you. And you hated the fact that he was right. That is until the evening before the mission when an unexpected text from TP came. You were busy trying to understand the rules of a strange competition show on the television when your phone buzzed. Expecting something nonsensical from Neil, you picked it up instantly. Only to get shocked by the number on display. The message was straightforward:

“Join the squad in the field in Tallinn. You must be there”

Right… When you were asking the universe for help, you did not expect that. But it was better than nothing.

Without a further ado, you got up and wandered over to Ives, who was sat with Wheeler and Michael at the table. Upon your approach, the Brit looked up:

“Don’t tell me you’ve got some last-minute changes from Neil” his blue eyes were hazed with concern.

“No, I’ve got something better” you passed him the phone and waited for a response.

The widened stare and arched eyebrow was the initial reaction.

“He wouldn’t have sent if it wasn’t important” you added, hoping to win the case.

“I don’t get it” Ives sighed heavily, leaning back in the chair.

He glanced at Michael, who nodded and left the room. You just assumed that the discussion was not meant for any ordinary squad member.

“Apologies for my language, but you’re not a bloody soldier, and it might get rough out there” Ives spoke up again after a beat “And I don’t want to fucking worry about your safety amidst all the other mess” he met your gaze warily.

It was a little embarrassing to be considered a burden. You flinched internally before trying another approach.

“I know, but Neil might need me” as soon as you said the words, Ives scowled.

Of course, that just sounded like a lovesick teenager fighting for a hopeless case. And you hated that. But his very next words triggered the remains of resolve.

“Frankly, darling-”

You broke into a laugh, knowing the quotation well.

“I swear, if you quote Gone with the Wind right now, I’ll do something stupid” as a warning, you grabbed hold of the knife lying on the table, making Wheeler snicker quietly “Please, let me go out there. I can track his GPS signal or something. And well, you know that I’ve got a good aim. It might count for something” pleading was not your forte either but at the end of the speech, Ives’ gaze softened.

Maybe? He sighed once again before leaning his forehead on the folded forearms on the table.

“If you get hurt, he’ll kill me” he muttered gloomily.

“You’re exaggerating” you bit back a dry chuckle.

“No, he’s not” your head snapped up at the sound of Wheeler’s voice “But I’ve got to back you here if TP sent that text, then it’s probably important” she looked at you with a small smile.

“Thank you” you grinned back, grateful for the support.

With the days spent among men almost exclusively, Wheeler’s company meant a lot. Soon she became the only person you were willing to discuss your worries with. Because she was not keen on cracking dumb jokes about your relationship and asked questions that did not only concern Neil. And that was a welcomed change.

“You really need to be careful though, because Neil cares about you. Which probably makes you the most important person on this squad” her voice broke through your thoughts.

You knew she meant well, but the statement still made your cheeks heat up. Because did he really care?

“Don’t. You’re making me all flustered” deciding you’ve had enough of the awkwardness you got up to fix a tea.

“Well, I’m only speaking the truth here” turning back to the table, you saw Wheeler shrug “The physics boy took his fancy upon you, and that’s no funny business” she grinned at your perplexed expression.

Briefly, you glanced at Ives, who seemed to have given up on fighting with you and instead was listening in to the conversation with a neutral facial expression. The kettle boiling was your cue to respond:

“Great” semi-aggressively, you threw the tea bag into the mug poured the water “Did he though?” you asked, not even looking at them or expecting an answer.

“Yep,” Wheeler stood up and gave you a quick reassuring shoulder squeeze.

“I’ve never seen him like this before” Ives added once you turned to face him again.

That tea could not brew any longer…

“Not even with…” you hesitated before adding quietly, “Alex?”

“Not quite,” the man gave you an enigmatic smile, only increasing your frustration “You’ve convinced me though. You’re coming with us. Just please, for the sake of my sanity, be careful out there” you resisted the urge to jump up in relief “Because I’d rather not deal with an angry Neil. He’s a pain in the ass enough” Ives added darkly before getting up and joining you by the kitchen counter.

Smiling, you finished the tea.

“Thanks. I’ll do my best” playfully, you nudged his shoulder with yours “You can always blame me though” picking up the mug, you turned towards the corridor.

“As though he’d care” Ives muttered at your back.

The sudden surge of confidence was surprising yet also inspiring:

“I’d make him care. There are some things even he can’t say no to”

The last thing you heard upon closing the door to the bedroom was Ives choking on water.

*** The Tallinn mission for you began with an early morning phone call from Neil. You got as far as getting out of bed after having been staring at the ceiling anxiously for the past three hours when the phone rang.

“Morning,” you muttered, stifling a yawn.

Espresso was certainly needed. Maybe two, before you would have to head out.

“Hey,” the soft tone felt like a mild punch “I’m glad you’re up already” Neil’s sleepy voice made you wish you could wake up together again.

There was always that slightly husky tinge to it, the way he lazily pronounced some words just because it was early still. So different from the enthusiastic overenunciation when he was preaching another messed up plan of his. Or the cheeky inflections he tended to use with you during banter. It was terrifyingly easy to get to know him that well because of how open he was with you.

“I couldn’t sleep. But it’s okay I’ll manage” you admitted, distracting yourself from the sudden thoughts “I didn’t tell you last night, but I got another text from TP… he wants me to join the squad today”

From the moment you have shut the bedroom door the previous night, you have debated calling Neil about it. But then he initiated another rather amusing texting exchange focusing on his fashion choices, and you felt bad disrupting the peace. It could wait. Not anymore. You held your breath until Neil responded with a simple question:

“Why?” he was careful, and you could not blame him for it.

You perched on the windowsill and looked out at the quiet cityscape. The streets were strangely empty for a weekday morning. Sighing, you answered in the best way possible:

“I don’t know, but Ives said yes after some coaxing, so I might see you out there” smiling despite yourself, you waited for his response.

Since recently you had to rely on phone calls, it became increasingly easy to determine his mood based on the tone of the reply. Or on the various nonverbal noises he sometimes made. Now there was a quiet hum proceeding the sentence. A surprise, mild confusion, and worry. Brilliant.

“As much as I’m happy we might meet… and that you can see me in that sexy car,” you rolled your eyes awaiting the point “Please, be careful. I need you safe”

It was not disappointing. You knew he did not intend it that way, and yet the anxiety fuelled brain was onto it instantly. I need you… safe. Unable to stop the comment, you muttered:

“Just safe, then”

“What?” any hope that he might have missed it dissolved with that single question.

Could he for once not listen to what you say? You know, like men tended to do. But then Neil was by no means an ordinary man.

“Nothing. Don’t mind me” the attempt at saving your dignity failed too.

“I thought it goes without saying that I do need you. And that I want you”

Oh god. At once, you wanted to smash your head into the wall and to kiss the bastard for being the way he was. Adding to that sentence, the mental image of his sheepish smile was enough to make your heart speed up. When the silence stretched, becoming awkward, you whispered a reply.

“It’s good to hear it sometimes” the coldness of the window glass cooled off your blazed cheeks, “Especially when I don’t actually believe it” he knew that by now, undoubtedly.

Here the nonverbal cue was a half-choked sigh. Annoyance. Frustration.

“You should. I don’t go around telling everyone that” Neil’s confident voice was trying to pull you back “And I certainly don’t have moments as we do with anyone else” at the implication, you felt flustered again.

Because there did not an hour go by without you thinking about what happened. The pull between you was startling at times. The absolute desire you felt. The way Neil knew exactly how to make you remember every second of every moment. With the memories flooding your brain, you could only utter a single question:

“Why me?”

It was curiosity. Because apart from that evening months ago when you first tried to make sense of your budding relationship, he never said why he cared about you. And you would never dare ask. But now, with everything that happened, it was worth trying. And Neil was willing to deliver:

“I’m not sure. Maybe it’s because you’re the bravest, kindest, most beautiful person I know” you could only keep on listening with your mouth agape “You fascinate me, and I want to discover all that you’re willing to give me” he finished in a reverent whisper.

That was not what you expected to hear. Not now. Not ever. Speechless, you wondered whether maybe this time it was not a mistake to give your heart away. It was too late. He had everything but your body; that was just a matter of time.

“Neil, I…” this was all you could manage, afraid you would give away another confession.

“Well, you’ve asked,” he chuckled lightly and then asked, “Are you okay?” you could picture that crease between furrowed eyebrows.

“I suppose-” a loud knock on your door interrupted the sentence; it was time, “I think I should probably join them for the final briefing…” hesitantly, you jumped off the sill.

Only two of you could be interrupted during such an important conversation.

“Go, I won’t keep you. Believe me, though, when I say that I want nothing but to be with you. In every way possible” your breath hitched at the connotation behind the sentiment.

Jesus, this man…

“That’s rather mutual,” like a secret you passed it to him on a sigh “But only when you’re not an ass” that was a much-needed distraction for you both.

There was work to be done, after all. You could hear the commotion in the apartment rise in volume and strength.

“I’ll do my best then. Good luck, darling” you grinned at the nickname he was determined to use.

Darling, you could do with. It was better than the ‘love’ that always made you feel like you were just another one among many.

“Don’t do anything stupid I still owe you a few slaps… and a payback” you added the necessary suggestive tone to the last word.

The rest was up to him to figure out. Which he did, if the pleased laughed was anything to go by.

“I’m very much looking forward to all of those” you missed that smirk.

“You should. Bye, my idiot,” you debated saving his number as that in your phone.

Maybe it was the way forwards.

“My love,” laughing, you ended the call when he uttered the words just for the sake of it.

But then that was Neil’s essence – doing things just because. Or to get a reaction from you. And you would not have it any other way.

*** Only when sitting in that bloody SUV, you learned the true meaning of waiting. And how much you hated to do that. There was nothing to do apart from sweating in the protective gear and avoiding the awkward small talk others were susceptible to. The squad has cramped into two non-descript vehicles, and you being the so-called precious cargo, ended up in the same car with Ives who have sworn to protect you. Only, for the first half-hour, there was nothing to protect you from. Apart from anxiety, boredom, and frustration.

Your role was rather simple – follow Neil’s signal on the map to know where you might be needed should he call for backup. As much as you did enjoy the possibility of tracking his movements somehow, you did not appreciate the cheeky smile Ives had on his face when he gave you the job. Or the comment combined with it: “Well, he’s your boyfriend, it’s only fair you keep him on the metaphorical leash here”. That is how the small blinking dot on the map of Tallinn became your sole focus for the past hour. Just before everything kicked off, Neil radioed you with a simple message: The mission is about to start. Wait for further instructions.

Ever since your morning phone call and the revelations that came out, you only exchanged a few texts concerning the practicalities of the action. Despite the nerves, you did hope to see him in near future. Even if just to check whether what he said was true. Looking for a distraction from the sudden thoughts, you glanced at the screen again. They were near, on the main junction of the highway, heading towards the port. Your SUVs were parked underneath a small overpass, five minutes away in the current traffic conditions. Which proved to be convenient, as it turned out.

“Is he still following the set route?” Ives’s question brought you to the present moment.

“Yeah, they’re-” you glanced to double-check the exact location when you realised that something has changed.

The dot was not moving. It was still blinking, but clearly, they have stopped at a crossing. Traffic lights? Your brain somehow knew that it could not be that simple. You opened your mouth to voice the thoughts when the comm came alive on the dashboard with static crackling:

“We need back up here. ASAP”

“Roger that” Ives tossed you the radio “Ask him about the details”

Without waiting for more information, Michael fired up the SUV engine as Ives contacted the second vehicle.

“Neil” you spoke into the receiver “What happened?” you flinched at the louder noise from the radio.

Gunshots?

“We’ve been ambushed by Sator’s people. TP’s status unknown”

Bloody brilliant. Swallowing down the rising worries, you asked another question:

“How many people?” another gunshot pierced the silence.

“Not sure. They’ve gotten clean up orders” a strained breath from Neil told you how bad the situation was.

“Okay. We’ll be there soon” you glanced at the road ahead.

Still, 2 mins to go. Anxiety was threatening to overpower you at any moment. But now was not the time.

“Hurry up” Neil closed the channel with a final dose of static.

Fuck… Forcing a deeper breath, you could only watch as you got closer to him. The sheer thought of something happening to Neil was unimaginable. That was enough to trigger panic. So you pushed the idea to the back of your head, focusing on the distance disappearing.

There was no mistaking the fact that you have been led to the right place. Crashed cars, asphalt littered with glass shards and broken parts, gunshots piercing the air. The destination looked like a car pile-up from an action sequence. Frantically looking through the windows, you tried to spot that blonde head. To no avail. The SUV came to a sharp halt as the squad members began jumping out of the vehicle. Once everyone else disembarked, you moved to follow them, only to be stopped by Ives:

“You’re staying here. I can’t have you out in the shoot-out” his blue gaze was stern, hand blocking exit out of the car.

The idea that you were so close to Neil and could not see him was enough to make you angry.

“I can handle myself. And he’s-” you spit out the words in the face of the squad leader while trying to push him away.

“I said no. The conversation’s over” with a final glare, he stepped away and scanned the horizon for immediate danger “If someone approaches the car, you know what to do,” he threw as a parting remark and disarmed the rifle.

Fucking hell! Groaning in frustration, you kicked one of the seats. He was so close. You glanced at the device in your hand. He could not be further than behind the first line of crashed cars. Biting on your lip harshly, you quickly went over the options. One was to obey Ives and stay inside the bloody SUV like a well-behaved child everyone apparently took you for. No one seemed to care about the vehicles you parked on the outskirts of the action. Flinching at the further salve from the heavy artillery, you knew that the squad had joined the fray. You could be safe here… but… Taking a deep breath you knew there was no possibility you could stay away from the action. Not when Neil was there, potentially in danger. It was not possible to give up on someone that important just because you were told to. Christ…

Glancing through the windows again, you could see Sator’s people attempting to clear the place. The squad evidently attempted to push at them from one side, hoping to get a clean sweep that way. Then, just as you were about to go back to the internal crisis overwhelming your thoughts, you did a double-take. Surely not? You would recognize that hair colour everywhere. There he was attempting what was looking like a skirting manoeuvre to circle the mercenaries with the Cavalry on the opposite side. Only that left him completely uncovered, in the direct line of fire. Bloody idiot. The instinct to jump out and run to him kicked in. The only thing holding you back was the fact that you would disobey the orders. And leave the car unguarded. All the hesitation disappeared once the comm in the car crackled with static:

“Emergency assistance needed. ASAP” the tension in his voice made your pulse quicken.

The lack of response from the team made all the blood drain from your face. You could see him trying to hide behind some overturned car. The henchmen were near enough to get him with no problem.

That thought was all the convincing you needed. Swearing, you quickly pocketed the tracking device, adjusted your protective gear, and grabbed the gun. You have been offered a rifle (just in case), but you preferred the classic. At least it was something right?

In two leaps, you have covered the distance. With the team trying to get through the attack line on the other side, it was just you and Neil. You shot a round in the direction of the approaching merc, missing the target yet earning attention from the main object of your focus. His eyes met yours across the plane. You could see shock, worry, and something else there. Suddenly a salve whizzed past you. The bullets cutting through the air all around, shooting past your head and piercing the car behind. A strangled yell from Neil was a surprising reaction, yet you did not blink twice. He was all you could see. With a final surge through the field, you reached him. The pure fury and anguish in his eyes took you aback. Have you missed something? But there was no time to ask questions.

“Go, I’ll cover you” you whispered, looking at the approaching group of mercs.

Neil took an additional moment to stare at you as though he could not quite believe you were there. But then he jumped up, aiming the gun at the man closest to you. The same that undoubtedly attempted to take you out seconds prior. When the mercenary fell with a bullet in the head, you stared in shock. There was no time to recover as Neil pushed through, barely looking behind at you. It was surprisingly easy to tune out the emotions, taking out anyone who could threaten him or halt your advances. You worked well together, movements in sync enough to stun the opponents on a few occasions. For a second, you wondered whether it was only bound to get better the closer you get to each other. That was certainly an interesting idea… In no time you have met with the line of the squad, watching on as Ives dealt with the last man standing. You have won. The adrenaline started to leave your body, resulting in tremors and shaking hands. Clutching the gun to prevent it from cluttering to the ground, you met the exasperated gaze of the squad leader. Your only response was a shrug. You did not regret the decision, seeing as you have evidently helped them in the field.

“Neil? Do you know where TP is?” Ives took his attention off you and looked at the blonde man.

You followed his gaze, for the first time actually looking at Neil since you spotted him across the plane. At the moment, you were struck by what a sight he was. Navy shirt with sleeves rolled up to expose the forearms covered with veins. The same tie he had on during your walk. Your pulse quickened. The vest drawing attention to the ratio between his broad shoulders and narrow hips, accentuated with a belt. Brown loose-cut trousers and scrapped leather shoes adding a classy touch. You were aware that you were staring yet unable to look away. Not knowing whether to blame it on the adrenaline rush, you wanted nothing but to touch him. Take off those driving gloves that piqued your interest at the first sight. Or have them be wrapped around your throat with just enough pressure. Get rid of the tie again. And…

“Think Sator took him” Neil’s response broke through your increasingly hazy thoughts.

Shaking off the images that started appearing, you looked up at his face again. The ruffled hair and flushed cheeks were not helpful. Fuck’s sake. It had to be stress. Because what else?

“Their place in the port?” Ives asked, his tone nothing but strict business.

“That’s my bet” Neil shrugged, looking around with something dark in his eyes.

He was tense, like a feral animal that could lash out any moment. You were not wrong. The cold blue gaze settled on you almost remorsefully, but before you could open your mouth, he snapped:

“What the fuck were you thinking?” the hostile edge to his voice was new.

You flinched as though you have been hit. The lack of physical impact did not matter. Your heart stammered. He need not explain what it was about. Please no.

“You needed a cover. They weren’t responding, so I did the obvious” you shrugged, feeling the anger grow “And I could ask you the same question” spitting the sentence into his face, you took a step closer.

You have never seen him that furious. Not even in Oslo after your little fuck-up. The sight was both terrifying and alluring. The dark blue eyes blazed with fury. Jaw clenched. Slight pink tint on the cheeks. And yet, still, you had no idea why he reacted like this.

“I knew what I was doing. That’s the difference” the coldness of his voice threw you off.

So it was real. He did mean it. You tried to save him, and here he was, pissed off at you. Making you almost regret it. Almost, because the love was there too. Not giving away no matter what.

“That’s bullshit” it felt good to admit, “You were reckless, as always, and expecting me to-” your rant got interrupted by a strangled yell.

Nothing prepared you for the revelation then. Or the sudden anguish on his face.

“You were almost shot!” Neil’s eyes glistened as though he was close to tears.

Suddenly it made sense. The rain of bullets you were hit with just before getting to him. The way he reacted. But you made it. Nothing happened. So why was he acting like that?

“Almost” ignoring the growing pain in your chest, you pointed out the obvious.

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Ives and the rest of the squad observing you. You would rather not have an audience, but then Neil seemed determined to drive his point forward. His face scrunched into a pained scowl.

“Fucking hell,” turning away from your gaze, his back tensed even more “You can’t do shit like that just because I’m involved” the defensive tone took you aback.

What? It was getting worse. You could feel the confidence leaving your body as you struggled for a response. You would never think Neil would do something like that. Not after everything you have told him. Figuring out the only way you that could work, you took your own line of attack.

“Who says I did it only because it was you?” the implication hurt because it was partially correct “Quite an ego you’ve got there” his back was still turned to you.

That angered you even more. Crossing the distance, you placed your hand on his shoulder, making him turn to you. He flinched upon the contact as though your touch burned him. Oh my god. The tears welled up in your eyes. It could not be real. But the emotionless look in the eyes you thought you knew was very much real. It was as though before you realised Neil has built up a wall, guarding himself against you. And there was nothing you could do to get through. You got shocked by the cruel smirk that split his face.

“I can see the way you look at me. As though you wanted to-” you interrupted him sharply.

“Neil”

It was too much. Perhaps because it was true. But he was not done. Persistent to keep going.

“Admit it. It’s because you said some things, and now you can’t bear the thought of losing the object of your affection” the careless tone and the words pierced your heart with gut-wrenching pain “Well, you see, sometimes feelings need to be put aside” he added, almost casually.

Fuck. You gasped, unable to keep a straight face. He might as well see what he has done. Some things. So this is how much your confession meant to him. Good to know. You wanted to slap him, but you felt like that could turn back on you. So instead, you made sure to straighten your back, putting on the familiar mask of neutrality. You have done this before. Probably should have expected it. Only why did it hurt ten times more?

“Can we leave the bloody lovers quarrel till later?” Ives’s voice pierced through the tension.

But you were not ready. Raising your hand in a stopping motion, you turned back to Neil. His face was terrifyingly indifferent. Maybe it was all an act. Or maybe it was just that easy for him to get over whatever you thought you had. A lie. Gathering the smithereens of confidence, you forced a levelled tone:

“Says you. As though you’re acting out of reason right now” you gave him your best impression of the sneer visible on his face.

You could crumble at any moment now. Only the pounding in your ears and the wounded pride were keeping you upwards. But Neil wanted to destroy everything.

“More than you” he glanced at the team waiting impatiently “I really thought you’d know better than this” the punchline was more than you could take.

No. Please no. Your knees buckled, and you swayed. But then you caught the flash of concern in his eyes. Just for a split of a second. So it was not all cold and hatred? You heard Ives huff out a string of curses. There was no time for this. Whatever it even was. Honesty it was then.

“Better than to give away my heart to someone like you? Evidently not” you met his eyes for the final time before walking away in the direction of the SUVs.

The shock you saw in Neil’s face was enough to fuel the survival instincts. With the heart broken or not, the mission was still on. And the rest was silence.