#also thinking now about internet access and privilege and how that ties in with this conversation

[nengirl]

i love old/dead internet content and web pages sooo much there's something so endearing about how people used to use the internet in certain spaces like it wasn't about getting fame or going viral or becoming an influencer... people developed and kept up with blogs and fan pages (often in full anonymity) out of passion and love for their hobbies and interests in a way that isn't seen as often today in this disingenuous age of hyper-consumerist algorithms and follower count obsession that is inevitably linked with monetization

[ebelal56-blog]

I Discovered the SECRET to Boosting Economic Growth!

Imagine a world where every individual is not just a number on a census form but a vibrant thread in the fabric of society, contributing to a tapestry of innovation, growth, and resilience. This vision is particularly relevant in today's context, where the dynamics of population can shift from a liability to an asset through strategic planning and execution. It’s not just a game; it’s about transforming lives and futures. So, how do we turn this vision into reality? Let's break it down. First, let’s talk about education. Picture this: schools buzzing with eager minds, where quality education is not just a privilege but a right for everyone, from the bustling cities to the quietest villages. We need to invest in infrastructure, training teachers who inspire, and updating curricula to meet the demands of a fast-evolving world. Imagine a classroom where STEM subjects—science, technology, engineering, and mathematics—aren’t just buzzwords but the foundation of learning. By emphasizing these areas, we prepare our youth for the technological advancements that will shape their futures. But education doesn’t stop at the classroom door. We need to embrace upskilling and reskilling. Think about vocational training programs that are directly aligned with market needs. It’s about giving people practical skills so they can thrive in various industries. And let’s not forget the importance of lifelong learning. In a world that’s constantly changing, we must cultivate a culture where individuals are encouraged to continuously upgrade their skills. This is where public-private partnerships come in, creating a bridge between educational institutions and the job market, ensuring that what students learn is what employers are looking for. Now, let’s pivot to technology. In this digital age, robust digital infrastructure is non-negotiable. We need widespread internet access so that everyone can participate in the digital economy. Imagine fostering an innovation ecosystem where startups flourish, backed by research and development incentives. By integrating automation and artificial intelligence into various sectors, we not only boost efficiency but also prepare our workforce for the future. It’s about creating a landscape where technology enhances our capabilities rather than replaces them. Healthcare is another pillar in this transformation. Universal healthcare is essential. We need a system that ensures everyone has access to affordable medical services. Preventive care should be our focus, reducing the burden of diseases before they become crises. And let’s leverage technology in healthcare delivery—think telemedicine and health monitoring apps that make health services accessible to all, especially those in remote areas. Next, let’s dive into economic policies. Job creation must be at the forefront. We need to stimulate growth across various sectors, particularly in emerging industries like renewable energy and biotechnology. Supporting entrepreneurship is crucial too. Imagine a world where aspiring business owners have access to grants and low-interest loans to turn their ideas into reality. Social safety nets are vital in this equation. Strengthening social security systems ensures that individuals have support during unemployment, illness, or retirement. Affordable housing is another critical aspect; everyone deserves a safe place to call home without crippling financial stress. Good governance ties everything together. Transparent, accountable governance builds trust and ensures effective policy implementation. By using data-driven decisions, we can allocate resources wisely and make informed choices that benefit everyone.

[olderthannetfic]

"the internet has become accesible [...] instead of only certain privileged people" are you saying dumb and ignorant people (often poor or barely hanging there enough to have internet access) are the ones ruining your precious spaces, be them fandom or not? / "monetization of fandom" Ignoring ffnet and wattpad, what about the people who takes fanart/fanfic commissions? Are all the same "capitalistic ghouls" taking advantage of the oh so sacred hobby of fandom? Not everyone is a creator

--

That's quite a chip you've got there, nonnie.

In the 90s, you needed a lot of privilege to be online. That level of privilege makes you less likely to have trouble making rent. Thus some of these issues were fundamentally less likely to come up. (And offline fandom always required certain resources/geographical locations/etc. to access also.)

On the whole, I think fandom (and the internet!) being more accessible now is a good thing. It does, however, mean there are going to be more culture clashes: between new-to-fandom people and fandom Olds, between Olds of different fandom traditions, between people with very different offline lives, etc. I don't place any particular moral judgment on the existence of clashes. It's just a natural and inevitable outcome of more types of people rubbing elbows.

Yes, there is a double standard with regards to fic and art. People have explained its nature and why it exists ad nauseam. I'm not going to rehash them all here for such a disingenuous ask. Fanlore covers it amply.

My take from the legal side (I am not a lawyer and this is not legal advice) is that all of it is on thin ice. Fan art regularly gets the axe despite people thinking it's safe.

My take from a social side is that none of it is necessarily bad full stop, but a space with creators and audience is fundamentally different from one of peers in a gift economy. The former is monetized youtubers. The latter is AO3.

There are plenty of fan artists and fan art fans who dislike what the commercial factor has done to art spaces, and there are plenty of fic-focused fans who are jealous of the profit-focused art spaces.

I choose to use my labor to build more of the not-for-money spaces. A lot of different people built AO3, and when they did so, they too chose to put their efforts towards a space that was not into monetizing. It's fine to not like that style of fandom... It is not fine to disrespect all that labor by posting your patreon on AO3.

Build the space that reflects your values. Go to spaces that do the same. Yes, obviously, that means multiple spaces reflecting multiple understandings of what fandom is.

Too often, I see people upset that I'm prioritizing this anti-profit model as though I'm taking away something they had an equal right to. But, in fact, I'm talking about me using my labor how I see fit and taking my friends with me.

I'm not quite sure where you're going with "not everyone is a creator". Not everyone draws or writes well, but in the "fannish gift economy" understanding of fandom, things like posting good fic recs are one of the gifts a fan can bring to the community. Anyone who wishes to put in a little effort can participate.

It's possible to have a real life that precludes putting in a little effort, and that's very sad, but I'm talking about community building here, not consumption. I wish 100% lurkers joy in their lurking, but by definition, they're not part of my community because they do not interact. They do not have social ties. This isn't a judgment but a neutral description of fact.

I subscribe to a subculture model of fandom that focuses on the social ties between members as opposed to a model that focuses on concrete products produced by fandom. This difference in approach is behind a lot of the really intense failures to communicate among people analyzing fandom.

[ablednt]

Actually helpful advice for the kids on this hellsite

Once again tired of "don't make a carrd or tell people your triggers" posts going around literally telling kids it's Dangerous to set boundaries. So here's what I've learned in my teen years on how to stay safe in the hellscape that's the internet.

Identity

You don't have to link all your social media together but you can if you want to. Don't give out something that is more private (like discord account, Skype or zoom account, facebook, Snapchat etc.) publicly or to people who aren't familiar with yet though.

Use a nickname rather than your real name or birth name, an account and name change may unfortunately be necessary so if you want to keep a name safe or use it irl then don't attach it to public social media. This can be fun though! Go apeshit coming up with different aliases and names! Call yourself lizard if you want to!

The only thing you absolutely need to put somewhere on your account (or carrd) is that you're a minor. You don't have to give the exact age but I promise this is important because even if there's plenty of context clues that you're a minor if you don't indicate this somewhere clear and adults start treating you like shit you need to be able to point out that they're knowingly doing this to a minor. That has saved me from gross bullshit a lot. Yes, people should default to treating people who's ages they don't know as a minor to play it safe but the majority of people assume everyone is the same age as them so you need to make it clear you're not an adult.

Pronouns don't make you identifiable and anyone who acts like putting your pronouns in your bio is unsafe is probably transphobic lmao. You don't have to if you don't want to (and don't mind people not using/knowing your pronouns) but it's safe to put them there most of the time. (The only exception I can think of is if you're closeted and your parents may find your account but in that case you should probably stay closeted online to unless you feel safe/know they aren't likely to find your account.)

You don't have to list every privilege you have and you probably shouldn't but if you're white you probably should indicate this somewhere. This is to hold yourself accountable because yes even teenagers can be racist and underaged people of color also deserve to feel safe. If you're nonwhite and don't feel safe doing so you don't have to list your race or ethnicity.

If you're part of a system/plural or questioning you do NOT have to say your systems origins, if you have DID/OSDD, or list your headmates/alters. The system community has a lot of people in it (and singlets adjacent to parts of the community due to bullshit discourse groups welcoming them) who will target underaged systems to fakeclaim them or harass them etc. I suggest having everyone use aliases/nicknames on a system account and you only tell your origin to people you feel comfortable around and safe with. Your safety and privacy is more important than your trendy system carrd goals I promise!

You shouldn't really just list any disorders you have but it really does no harm to put marginalized identities you're proud of on a carrd or in your bio. You might get a shitty anon or two but I promise people aren't going to dox you if you say you're autistic on your carrd or something.

I personally wouldn't list any special interests that are particularly recognizable (popular media should be ok but more niche stuff may not be) or publicly share a kin list just because you never know if you'll want to switch up your identity online to feel safe and the more things are clearly tied to your current nickname and handle the harder it will be to do this. However if you feel safe doing so it's not the end of the world. Just be careful about it and don't feel pressured to give more info than you're comfortable giving.

You do NOT need to tell people your trauma in order to tell them your triggers. If you need something tagged with a tw you really should indicate this somewhere so people know to tag it (unless you intend to send every you're mutuals with an anon with what to tag which is also an option but may be difficult) but you shouldn't tell them your trauma or medical history to justify it. Your boundaries aren't up for debate and you have nothing to prove. You should only talk about your trauma if you feel safe doing so (and even then please don't give identifiable details like.names of people involved or specifics as that can cause serious problems.)

Boundaries & etiquette

DNIs are good! BYFs are good! Anyone who tells you that they're not good or useful is absolutely trying to disrespect your and other people's boundaries. You can and should make a DNI and list the people you don't want to interact with. (Generally it's better to say groups rather than specific people or names because it's easier to again not be recognized if you need to change accounts/aliases but you can do this if you have strong reasoning and absolutely have to to feel safe.)

DNIs (and also.trigger lists) don't have to all be bad things! You can put fandoms that make you uncomfortable, things that trigger you but aren't bad inherently, etc. on these lists. They're about helping you feel safe not having the hottest takes or being the most morally correct.

Some people you should put in your DNIs as a minor are proshippers/anti-antis and MAPs. Both of these groups have been proven time and time again to groom minors online so the earlier you get away from them the better.

Once you have your DNI please do be aggressive in reinforcing it! Block people who break your DNI, tell people who complain about your DNI to fuck off! Do not tolerate people trying to debate the boundaries You have set this is your corner of the internet to feel safe! They can go somewhere else! Being blocked by a kid on the internet is not the emotional blow abusers act like it is. You're not mean for having boundaries please internalize this and stand up for yourself!

If other people have a DNI you need to check that before following them this is for both your own safety and theirs. If you're unsure what something on someone's DNI means ask around to find out before following just in case.

Do NOT get involved in discourse! This doesn't mean you can't ever take part in or boost serious things. Discussing/calling out bigotry (racism, ableism, transphobia, etc.) isn't discourse. Sometimes callout posts for legitimately harmful people is necessary so that's not automatically bad. But I'm taking about the shit that's #discourse. Stay out of ace discourse. Stay away from syscourse. Don't debate with terfs or transmeds or shitty people. I know it seems like it'd be cathartic to win debates with shitty people, I know there's people who will try to bait you into the latest argument over which lgbt+ identities can say what slurs or whatever the fuck the pointless bad faith argument is, and I know you want to prove that your marginalized identity doesn't make you a bad person like bigots say it does. But as someone who's mental health was absolutely destroyed by discourse as a teen it's not worth it. By all means discuss issues as they arise, broaden your perspectives and horizons, etc. but don't engage knowingly in discourse it will save you so much trouble in the long run.

Try to avoid talking to adults 1x1 if you can avoid it! It's okay to dm with an adult you feel safe talking to sometimes and while it's certainly okay not to interact with adults at all if you don't feel.comfortable it's generally okay to do so. But if an adult is going out of their way to consistently talk to you in private needlessly that can be a red flag. If an adult tries to insinuate that they're the only adult around you can trust that's DEFINITELY a red flag. Basically talk to people in places you can easily involve others if needs be. If someone sends you a dm that makes you uncomfortable screenshot it in case you need to show someone etc.

Don't discuss NSFW things with adults, in spaces adults have easy access to (for example a discord server open to all ages), or even with other underaged people who haven't indicated they're comfortable with it. There's nothing inherently wrong with being aware of nsfw stuff or experiencing sexual attraction as a teenager but it's very important that you don't put yourself in situations that may be unsafe for you or others. Most good discord servers have rules against this for this exact reason. Now, to make it abundantly clear, if you did or do ever say something nsfw and an adult takes advantage of this or responds in a way that makes you uncomfortable this is NOT your fault! The responsibility falls on adults to act appropriately but it's still a good idea to keep youeself out of harms way.

That's basically it on a general level. Once again, posts telling you not to make DNIs or carrds or trigger lists (all used to set clear boundaries) are very suspect and either grossly misunderstand how these things work or are intentionally demonizing them in order to have more opportunity it excuse to do harm. Setting clear boundaries is good. Doing things that help you feel safe and respected is good. Just don't go and get involved in discourse or give out personal information or anything.

[lotusik]

How I became passionate about folk magic. (July 23, 2020)

I hadn’t had very much interest in folk magic previously. I was always more interested in theurgy, everything to do with uniting with the divine, and I suppose I thought I didn’t need any other sort of magic. Or perhaps that as long as I was working hard on a spiritual path, nothing more was necessary. I admit that attitude is an awfully good example of the privilege experienced by a white woman born in Canada. Many others that came to North America, particularly those with brown skin have had a much different story to tell. How I did finally develop an interest in folk magic was actually through genealogy. My family lines come from various places in Europe, and one day doing research I discovered that one of those lines landed smack in the middle of the Pennsylvania Deutch (Dutch) community. Until then I hadn’t even known of any ancestors in America, I thought they had all come from Europe straight to Canada. Luckily for me that lineage was already well researched in books and the like due to the historical import of that community so I had much to delve into. At some point an 1820 book by Johnn Georg Hohman (John George), a member of that Pennsylvania Dutch community, came into my awareness. It was titled in the original German; Der Lange Verborgene Freund, oder, Getreuer und Christlicher Unterricht fur Jedermann, Enthaltend: Wunderbare und Probmassige Mittel und Kunste, Sowohl fur die Menschen als Das Vieh (The Long Hidden Friend, or, True and Christian Instructions for Everyone. Comprising Wonderful and Well Tested Remedies and Arts, for Men as well as for Livestock.) Later titles would incorporate the term pow-wow and the practice often was called pow-wowing (or powwowing), though it has nothing to do with the Indigenous peoples of America. The name was appropriated from the Algonquian languages and given negative connotations by the Puritan missionaries, becoming a sort of general term for magical workings. The book is often now published as ‘The Long Lost Friend’ or as ‘Pow-wows or The Long Lost Friend’.

This book contained spells, charms and all sorts of herbal and home remedies. Some of the spells in the book came from a German spell-book called das Romanus-Büchlein, (The Little Book of the Gypsies), along with some contributions from Albertus Magnus, or more accurately, pseudo-Albertus Magnus (works attributed to Albertus but more likely written by disciples). Other items in the book were quite unique to the oral tradition of the Pennsylvanian Dutch community itself. The healers that use those practices are called Braucherei, a female practitioner is called a Braucherin and a male a Braucher. They may also be known as a powwow doctor or a powwower. And yes, they absolutely still practice today! I’ve seen hexmeister used as well, or hex-doctor and that seems to be synonymous in some places with powwow but as far as I can see that was not very popular as it more specified working against illnesses caused by grudges and malicious intent. I’ve also seen the term used more often in relation to the painters of hex signs on barns and I am not entirely clear if that is part of Braucherei or something somewhat separate. There are some excellent books on hex signs but I’ve not been able to get copies sadly. All of this really got me thinking a lot about how perhaps my own ancestors may have practiced this form of folk magic and healing. Further, I started thinking how folk magic may well have been part of my own family’s traditions through my other ancestry lines also; Slavic, Celtic & Scandinavian. And thus, a real interest in these practices became sparked. Unfortunately due to the way Christianity swept across the world absorbing what it chose to and wiping out the rest, I have found it very difficult to find very much about original beliefs and practices in Slavic countries. Sometimes I find more in neighbouring countries rather than the ones I am most interested in due to my own ancestry. Though looking at the big picture, there is so much influence in individual countries from elsewhere anyways, for example the influence of the Celts is absolutely huge in many parts of the world. Borders in so many places have often moved many times, countries have been ruled by various different rulers and migration often imports new beliefs and systems into established cultures as well. The more I’ve looked at all these lines of history, the more convoluted it becomes to me. Researching about Hohman’s book I learned a lot of interesting history about it as well as about the influence it had on inhabitants of the Appalachians and on Hoodoo as well. The book was originally published for the Pennsylvania Dutch themselves, but later English editions ended up being marketed through Jewish mail order catalogues. For African-Americans in need of supplies for their magic, they had to be resourceful and make do with what they could access. Jewish suppliers soon found out selling Jewish religious items and hoodoo supplies to African-Americans was great for business. This led Hoodoo to be influenced by a variety of sources and practices. And one of those sources was Hohman’s Long Lost Friend. Learning about the influence of ‘The Long Lost Friend’ on Hoodoo led me to, obviously, learning as much as I could about hoodoo! There is a lot of incorrect information out there, but there is a lot of accurate stuff as well that can be found digging around on the internet thanks to some amazing practitioner-teachers. Just before Covid-19 started spreading across the world, I decided to take a chance on something called a “Steady Money Service” offered by The Hoodoo Queen in Mobile, Alabama. [The website is linked below.] All I had to do was send my $10 and I was in! I can’t say I was super expectant of results, though I was hopeful. I had watched many of Queen Co.’s videos and the information shared in them really rung true as authentic to me. Besides, it was only $10 and I figured it it well worth it as a first foray into hoodoo. But alas, Covid struck, and so I really thought there wasn’t any hope at all this ‘steady money’ service had even the slightest chance of working. In fact I thought the exact opposite was going to occur. So I felt pretty discouraged. Still, I did exactly what was detailed out to do on my end after the service when I received my ‘dirt’ in the mail (including laying dirt at the threshold of my house and burying an American dollar bill in my back yard after fastening it down with nails) and sure enough, I have had nothing but steady money since that time! While I am an open minded person, I have always been someone that wants some ‘proof’ as well. Even if that proof is only my own intuition or ‘knowing’, I need there to be something. And this to me, was my proof. I am very sure this service from Queen Co. helped open a pathway for money for me. Since that time, I have been studying everything I can of various folk magic practices from all over the world, and I have found they have so much in common. Yet in so many other ways they are marvelously unique. Tied to the cultures they come from but connected through all by the need we all have to get by on this planet the best way we can. I enjoy so much the creativity in these practices, and the amazing resilience of the people they came from.                                                                  ----------------- For Queen Co. The Hoodoo Queen, go here! https://conjuresouth.com/ For a lot more information on the Pennsylvania Dutch and powwowing please check out this link which has an astounding amount of research by Patrick. J. Donmoyer and also contains some really amazing images of artifacts as well. It’s where much of what I shared here came from as he has the best research I’ve seen. : https://static1.squarespace.com/static/56829c58a2bab87f93ee4d6a/t/58c178ef3e00be4c00782168/1489074429798/Reduced+Size+File+-+Exhibition+booklet+-+Powwowing+in+Pennsylvania.pdf Further I’d recommend the works of Don Yoder as well as the book The Red Church by C.R. Bilardi. For a more extensive history on Hoodoo and the contribution The Long Lost Friend had to those practices, please check out cat yronwode’s website luckymojo.com, its well worth your time!These two pages specifically: https://www.luckymojo.com/powwows.html https://www.luckymojo.com/hoodoohistory.html#admixtures

[captain-kit-adventuress]

I received an excellent ask from @the-gay-lady-of-ravenclaw-tower and I was happy to answer it, but because I am a Tumblr old I accidentally replied to the first part of the ask instead of the second, and now it’s gone. So I’m going to reproduce it and include my answer below. I hope this can help others, too! Fair warning that I am long-winded and the post is very long as well. If anyone has suggestions about how to make it more readable (I have ADHD and long blocks of text are not my friend, so I get it), send me a message and let me know!

Hi, Ryn! Sorry if this ask is intrusive, feel free to ignore. You're the first non-binary person I've seen on here who's really fully an adult (to me grown up = older than 30-35) and I was wondering if you had any advice you'd like to share with younger queer/non-binary kids. In particular I was wondering how you navigate using gender-neutral pronouns in the workplace and how you build a community/found family with other queer adults. (1/2)

I'm 18, and it's easy to see other queer kids around me in college, but it feels like a bubble. I worry about the world outside of this microcosm and how to navigate queerness in the future. Seeing queer adults like you who have successfully made it through their 20s and survived in the "real world" while building a community is really hopeful for me, especially considering the world was much more hostile in your formative years than mine. Thanks :) (2/2)

Let me first apologize for taking so long on this ask, I wanted to give a considered answer.

I’m honored that you would ask in the first place. I take advice-giving pretty seriously, especially when someone is reaching out to me because they’re hoping to take advantage of any experience I might have from being on the planet longer. I want to introduce a couple of caveats, though, so you can take my advice in the context it deserves. 

As you mentioned, I did grow up in a world that was quite a bit more hostile to queerness. On top of that, I’m sure you know we just didn’t have easy access to queer information, and it was a lot more visible when someone was seeking it. Because of this, I didn’t actually figure out my queerness (though I suspected for decades) until a few years ago. However, I’ve tried to throw myself into the queer community as hard as I’m able, and I was always a queer ally. So I’ve been on the fringes for a really long time, even though it’s only now that I’ve been able to experience it from a place of openness. On the other hand, I do think there’s value in that situation, as well, so, take all of this for what you will.

The other caveat is that I left the traditional workplace prior to my accepting my queerness. I have never had to deal with pronoun issues, and I also come from a place of having the luxury of a decent relationship with my original pronouns. I am non-binary, but I’m ok (for the most part) with people using she/her for me. That said, my background is in accounting, and the firms I worked for, on the whole, probably would not have been thrilled about neutral pronouns, much less neopronouns, especially with anything client-facing. Some of the feelings about this are changing, and some are not. It’s very industry-specific and employer specific, so I feel like the best advice I can give in this situation is to be safe, in whatever way that works for someone. 

I would love to just say have the conversation with your employer in terms of pronouns and presentation and that if they’re not willing to accept even the idea of it, you know that they weren’t probably going to treat you with dignity and respect about being outside of the binary, but because society hasn’t caught up in their understanding and acceptance of anything but cisgender and heteronormative ideals, it is still a privilege too many are excluded from. Why human dignity and respect are treated as privileges, I shall never know, but that’s how it is for so many at this moment in time. So all I can say is try your best to assert yourself in whatever way is safest for you, and to know that there are lots of adults rooting for you and willing to help when and where they can, even if we can’t change everything immediately. It still sucks that we have to couch it this way, but I do think it’s important to remember that at least in some places we can have the conversation. It’s not enough, and it will never be enough until we don’t have to think about it anymore, but change is always going to be too slow for marginalized communities. 

The found family is where I feel most comfortable answering. My peer group, the oldest Millennials, was really the first youth group to benefit from the presence of ubiquitous, reliable internet as a way to find new relationships, whether platonic, romantic, whatever. And I have to say, we found it in the same ways then as a lot of young adults do now: fandom spaces, very primitive means of social media (ah, the heady days of the message board), various websites and communities that we, along with a lot of other age groups, built. I personally met most of my found family through a fandom space, and while none of us really retain ties to that fandom anymore, our love for each other has only grown. The rest of my sort of extended found family, if you will, I met through in-person spaces, like the classes I took in college, things like that. I think one of the most important pieces of that puzzle is not being afraid to reach out through your interests. I also think that’s not so different from when I was around your age. The spaces themselves are a lot different to navigate, and I do not envy you with the sort of omni-present fight against purity culture, which we did not really have to address, but building a community is pretty much the same no matter if it’s online, in-person, formalized like a city, or anything else. It takes work and commitment and a willingness to see it succeed, and it will change and evolve a lot as you go on. Not all found family is permanent, and there’s nothing wrong with that, either. There are people who have passed out of my life, and rightly so, that I was certain at the time would be with me forever. But it’s ok. I grew as a person, and I grew in a different direction than worked for our relationship. I grew in a direction that brought me toward my found family. 

I should also probably point out that my found family is, on the whole, not queer. A few of us are, or have ties to queerness, but there’s a variety of sexualities, genders, etc. I think you’re right to say that queerness can be kind of a bubble, but there are lots of people who want to embrace what may have started out as queer ideals because they recognize it’s how they want to live, even if they themselves are not queer. I think especially people my age and younger are realizing that they want families that are supportive and nurturing, and I am sorry to say it but that’s rooted in queerness in a way that most normative family dynamics are not. We’ve had no choice, we either had each other or no one else. Queerness, on some level, means found family—or at least queerness that doesn’t rely on trying to emulate the cisgender heteropatriarchy for acceptance. So the two ideas are really intertwined and it’s completely understandable why so many queer people gravitate toward families they built themselves. How to do that is as varied as any queer experience, but comfortingly, it’s still the same as any other kind of relationship at its core. Give it time, which is no one’s favorite advice, but that is the best I’ve got. Make sure you’re getting what you need in addition to helping others with what they need. Be kind and loving and supportive, and above all, bring compassion to the table every moment that you can. Empathy is good, too, but compassion and kindness will steer you better, I think, more often than empathy will. 

I know this is an incredibly long answer, and this is as concise as I could make it. These are big questions, and I am not a concise person by nature. :) Good luck, and I’m here to talk if you need, and that extends to any queer young adults that want advice. We have to band together, we all have so many wonderful things to contribute, and I for one am looking forward to seeing what you and your peers add to the discussion over the years.

[androgynealienfemme]

i stopped listening to any sort of lgbt discourse here (ace, queer, butch/femme etc) when it became patently obvious that those who typically get involved (and tend to be on the side of exclusion) are people who typically do not actually have any strong ties to the lgbt community outside of the internet, and particularly not with older lgbt people. 

I realize I am very privileged to have been raised surrounded by people we can call lgbt elders (particularly lesbians) who have been active in the latinx and new york lgbt scene since the 70s and 80s, so Ive had access to the culture and community process in a way many havent. I realize most people dont have this, and many can barely access lgbt youth spaces for themselves let alone have deep convos with older lgbt people. 

But my god is it frustrating to see so many young kids try to state their opinions of exclusion and speak about HISTORY when it becomes clear none of you know SHIT about history. 

For the record, when talking about lgbt discourses with my many lesbian aunties and their friends, they are amused, appalled, and confused by the way some of yall talk about these issues. Queer to them has been a word that they may not use themselves, but they’d never tell people it is non-reclaimed or something that cant be used as a community terms for others (“we use d*ke and [insert spanish reclaimed gay slur] all the time for each other! why is queer different?”), they totally support letting all aces in because thats been the norm for YEARS now and the discourse to them is nonexistent, and they cannot see how anyone would think butch/femme is lesbian only (especially since coming from the latinx community, they know its history in the black and latinx ball scene and how its been used by every lgbt subsection ever. Also my titi’s exact words were “since when was this for us lesbians only? who made this commandment? no one told us!”). 

You guys got to understand the community has never been the way it is online. Yeah, you will find lesbians and gay men irl who feel differently about some of these terms and discourses that my aunties do. But the real thing here is nothing has ever been SETTLED. Its never been DECISIVE. This community is huge, and made up of many subsets both based in sexuality and gender, political ideology, class, ethnicity/race etc. And to say that “this has always only been a slur! this has always been for this community only!” is BULLSHIT. it has NEVER BEEN THAT. and you cannot say it has nor try to change it to be that way now for everyone. Sorry. 

And for everyone else, just... dont get involved in this discourse. It literally does not matter outside of the internet echo circles. I promise you its almost all bullshit to the actual active lgbt circles irl. 

[skyfallensoldier]

Mobile Navigation || Rules & Mun ↓

DISCLAIMER: I just want to note here at the beginning that while I am considering this RP blog to be historically based, i.e. remaining true to the time period and overall details of John Laurens' biographical information and whatnot, I do not consider myself a historically accurate blog, not entirely. Historical fiction is a well known genre of literature and many, MANY creative liberties are taken within that genre. Think of this blog like you would if you saw an Anastasia Romanov blog. She's dead, we know she didn't survive, and she's been dead a long-ass time; so has Laurens. People still have included her in many works of fiction, even after her body was identified and it was proven she did not survive her family's massacre. I saw a romance book a couple of months ago where she survived that was recently published. Historical fiction, while a controversial thing at times, is a legitimate form of literature.

You don't have to tell me if you think John isn't acting exactly like the real man himself would have, I know that. I'm not going to call John my 'perfect sunshine boy cinnamon roll' or dismiss the privilege he was raised on due to his father, I'm aware he was a real person who had his own personality, virtues and prejudices. I won't deny that while he was certainly a progressive thinking man for the time he grew up in he definitely still had racist thoughts and actions that were indicative of his upbringing. But I'm not on here to debate modern, real life politics, or get into arguments about whether he was a good abolitionist or not. At the end of the day, this is still a hobby for me, and I'm writing for fun.

Basically, don't take it too seriously. I'm a 21st century bisexual woman writing from the POV of an 18th century (likely gay) male soldier, the way I write him is obviously not going to be a perfect representation of who he was. I know he wasn't an amazing, perfect person, but I've still chosen to write a fictionalized version of him for my own entertainment. Please try to respect that; thank you.

Mun Stuff

Name: Luna Gender: Female (She/Her or They/Them) D.o.B: July 23rd, 1996 Age: 24 Nationality: Canadian Sexuality: Bisexual Timezone: Eastern Time (US & Canada) Activity: Daily BIOGRAPHY (SORT OF)

Hello, there! You can call me Luna! I've been interested in writing ever since I first got the internet when I was 14 and discovered FanFiction.Net and now I'm an aspiring author and Roleplay enthusiast. If you include acting/talking out DnD like games with friends then I've been 'roleplaying' since the fifth grade, but I like to think there's always room for improvement. If you ever want to chat I'd love to make a new friend or plot out a roleplay, so don't be afraid to shoot me an ask or send me a private message. Just because my muse can be a jackass doesn't mean I am! I’m a huge advocate for mental health, and if you ever need someone to talk to, please don’t ever hesitate to reach out! Some of my hobbies including literature and writing (of course), digging into mythology from various cultures, practicing solitary eclectic paganism/new age spirituality, drinking tea, and collecting crystals/minerals.

Please note that for the sake of disclosure, I am considered ‘Neurodivergent’, in that I suffer from ADHD, diagnosed at about age six, and have Anxiety and Depression which are directly tied to it. This doesn’t often effect my life on here, but I sometimes have an unpredictable sleep schedule (stay up all night, sleep in late into the morning, etc). I’m usually quick to reply to threads for the most part! I work every Tuesday and Thursday from 5pm to 7pm in addition to odd jobs here and there, during which time I won’t have access to the Internet. The rest of the week I’m on and off all day basically, so you can feel free to contact me any time.

RP Style

⭐️ Please use basic spelling/grammar/punctuation when you RP with me. I'm not a drill sergeant about these kinds of things, I know that typos happen, and if you have a vision problem or such we can absolutely find a way to work around that, I also have no problem roleplaying with people whose first language is not English, so that's totally fine and I’m happy to accomodate in whatever way I can, but it does make it a little difficult to play with you if I don't know what you're trying to say. For this reason I prefer if you not use any text shorthand (lol, idk, brb, jk, etc) unless our muses are messaging each other. Using it in the tags is fine.

⭐️ I roleplay Laurens in a past-tense 3rd Person Point of View (think story-telling format), and generally I don't use icons or text formatting unless I notice my partner does, then I will try to match their style (for example if you use icons and small-text, I will try to do the same, though because formatting isn't possible on mobile, any mobile replies might take longer to be posted than if I were on my laptop). If you have any issues with how I'm writing or need me to adjust my style for any reason don't be afraid to ask.

Contact

⭐️ If you spam me with messages over and over again about something I haven't replied to, chances are I'll drop the thread. I don't mind being reminded because I know Tumblr's notifications are notoriously unreliable sometimes, and humans can forget/lose things, but if you keep poking at me after I've acknowledged you the first and second time, I won't be pleased. Things can get busy on here, or in real life, or sometimes you're just lacking muse for that particular thread, y'know? It doesn't mean I hate you and don't want to RP, I'm almost always up for plotting, but muse tends to fluctuate.

⭐️ My ‘Discord’ is available to mutuals upon request. I don't mind roleplaying on there if Tumblr is being glitchy or you're just not feeling up to formatted/heavily plotted threads, sometimes Discord is fun in that you can do immediate replies without needing the effort of putting icons and formatting into it. I also have a Kik but I never use it. I don't RP in Tumblr's IMs, that's purely for OOC interaction.

⭐️ I also occasionally stream movies/TV shows in group chats or play “in character” Cards Against Humanity game nights, Among Us, etc. If you’re interested, lemme know, I’m always looking for more people to hang out with!

Important

I have no actual triggers that I'm aware of, although snakes do creep me out (mostly shots of them coiled up or images of their pupils), but there are some things I will not roleplay personally for comfort reasons:

⭐️ Cannibalism. You can mention it, for example I won't freak out if someone tells my muse that somebody else ate a person (he might, assuming its not a Supernatural type verse), but I won't RP him engaging in cannibalism, not even in AUs (blood-drinking vampires are fine). I'm just not sure I could stomach writing about eating people. I managed to watch Hannibal, barely, but writing about it? Nah. I can handle lots of horror, gore and disturbing content but not this. Sorry.

⭐ Incest/Pedophilia. I do not SEXUALLY ship with characters under the age of 18. John is not attracted to children, and would never consider sleeping with someone much younger than him.

⭐ I will not write anything sexual with muns who are under 18 years old, even if your muse is an adult. I'll still ROLEPLAY with you if you are under 18 but probably no younger than 16 just because things tend to get explicit on my blogs and I don't want to be accused of corrupting the youth with my foul language and weird opinions, lol. Seriously though, this blog covers a lot of dark subjects and while I’m all for minors exploring that safely through writing rather than in real life, some people aren’t comfortable with interacting with under age people for legal or personal reasons, please respect that.

⭐ Necrophilia. Just... no. Vampire threads don't count, as they're undead and not 'dead dead'.

⭐ Rape. I won't write it with you. I'm okay with mentions of rape, with rape/sexual assault survivor/recovery plots, and even with one character intervening to rescue another from an attempted sexual assault (if an attempted assault does occur, it will be thoroughly tagged and under a cut). I'm fully open to discussing rape recovery/trauma plots as those are things that happen in real life, and it can be interesting to explore how a character reacts to trauma. But anything else is a no-go, sorry!

⭐ Please be aware that I write Laurens as a gay man. However! Because of the time period, violent homophobia and social stigma, he has slept with women before and may be seen flirting with or referencing relationships with women in the past. He is still gay, and still uninterested in being with women long term, he's simply closeted to all but a few individuals. So, unless your muse is Martha Manning (who Laurens DOES love in a manner, and he always will), shipping with female characters on here most likely isn't going to happen unless it's heavily plotted/developed and part of an overall plot, and you understand that it will not be a conventional sexual relationship. I'm sorry if that disappoints you but I've read Laurens as a gay male for so long I have trouble seeing him any other way.

⭐ I will not roleplay slavery plots. This is not up for debate. Roleplaying a highly fictionalized version of a long dead real person who existed during a troubling time is one thing, but I draw the line at that. For this reason, while I'll happily play with non-white muses, muses using non white faceclaims, and crossovers with characters of all sorts, I'll have to decline playing with any muse claiming to actually be writing slavery. There’s a difference between, say, roleplaying a character like Daenerys, a fictional character who was technically a slave-bride sold by her brother, and writing actual slavery from a very real, horrible time period. Slave ownership will of course be mentioned on this blog, that's unavoidable, but just like the mention of rape may happen on this blog from time to time, it will be in reference to a past event or speaking about the subject in general, not roleplaying a scene of it. Please respect this rule, I was hesitant to make this blog at first, because I know it makes some people uncomfortable, but I won't glorify such a horrible real thing that happened to so many people.

Exclusives/Mains

Just a head's up, unless I develop a bunch of chemistry with a particular portrayal of a muse I'm not likely to agree to being exclusives with anyone, unless perhaps it's a very niche or divergent character that has formed a good relationship of some sort with John and I'd have trouble interacting with other versions of that muse. For major characters I just feel it would be unfair to say no to someone who I click with in every other way, solely because I have already befriended someone else writing that character.

I will, however, discuss becoming mains with someone whom I've either developed or plotted out detailed storylines/interactions with regarding our specific portrayals of our characters. This means that I tend to reply to them quickly when I'm online, or may make little gifts (moodboards, aesthetic things, mini ficlets, whatever) for them unprompted, have a verse dedicated just to them, etc. Even if it seems like we haven't done much on Tumblr, there may be a lot of off-site development on Discord or whatnot that led to us plotting out intricate stories for our muses.

Current Mains:

Alexander Hamilton - @quillborn​

DO

⭐️ Send private messages.

⭐️ Send my character asks/starters/memes.

⭐️ Tag me in things.

⭐️ Ask to plot or ship.

⭐️ Ask for angst, fluff, etc.

⭐️ Submit things to me & my muse.

⭐️ Do crack and other ridiculous things with me!

⭐️ Like my RP threads.

⭐️ Like my personal posts.

⭐️ Comment on my personal/OOC posts (if you want to).

⭐️ Comment on my crack threads.

⭐️ Instant Message (IM) me if you'd like to talk, whether we're friends already or not!

DON'T

⭐️ Send hateful messages to me about other people and especially my mutuals; doesn't count if it's about the muse and not the person playing them, however. Also, if I’ve got beef with someone for whatever reason, don’t harass them/send hate to them on my behalf, please. I don’t condone anonymous abuse, attacking others, or harassment. I’m a big girl and I can take care of myself, I promise.

⭐️ Introduce yourself with ‘wanna ship?’ For one, I prefer if we’ve at least started a roleplay together, or have spoken OOC. Auto shipping doesn’t always work out and I hate promising people something only to realize there’s zero chemistry, because then I feel like I’m letting them down.

⭐️ Come into my inbox with just ‘wanna rp?’ and that’s it. Please at least have some idea of what you want to roleplay, it’s not very fun when someone approaches you to RP but then doesn’t offer up any suggestions at all. Remember, you are always free to send me memes, whether we’re mutuals or not, and hit me up for whatever plot you think might interest me! I want to hear about it!

⭐️ Spam me with "reminder" messages if I've already acknowledged you the first few times.

⭐️ Reblog my RP threads if you're not a participant in them.

⭐️ Send me anonymous OOC hate. Hate for Laurens is fine, it's just another form of roleplay.

⭐️ Kill off my character or severely injure/maim my character without permission or having plotted something involving that with me first.

⭐️ Follow me if you're a porn blog. I don't mind blogs that post NSFW content, or smut a lot, etc. I mean blogs that aren't for RP and are literally just a normal looking blog until you click on it and the header and first twenty posts are hardcore nudity and porn. I hate those things.

⭐️ Shame my ships.

⭐️ Complain about my tagging. I put my smut under a 'read more' without exception and tag them as "NSFW //" with two dashes. Things that are not necessarily graphic but still have sexual undertones go under "Suggestive //". I use these tags to avoid attracting attention from porn blogs and porn bots that track certain key words, as such I do not tag my content with "Smut" or trigger words such as "dick, oral, anal, nudity, etc", please block my NSFW and Suggestive tags if you're uncomfortable. Triggery subjects (mentions of rape, animal abuse, torture, mental illness) will be tagged under the name of said trigger with a space and two dashes, example: "Self Harm //", “Suicidal Ideation //” or "PTSD //".

⭐️ Godmod my character. If you’re not sure what is/isn’t okay, come talk to me! I don’t bite! If you’re looking for an example of god mod behavior, here: “X lunged at Laurens, taking him by surprise, and hit him square in the nose, causing blood to spurt.” It might not seem like a big deal but it means that you decided how your character’s actions affected my muse, and not only that, didn’t give him a chance to dodge or anything. Not cool.

⭐️ Ship with me without permission (sending in shippy asks is A-Ok if you're interested in exploring a ship between our muses, I'm talking about things like claiming that our muses are in a relationship without discussing it with me, referencing dates or sexual acts that never happened, etc. I ship mainly with chemistry otherwise things get boring fast.

⭐️ Assume/act like our characters know each other/are closely connected (friends/family/lovers) if we've never discussed it unless it is established in canon/history. This especially goes for original characters. I'm open to Laurens forming deep relationships with OCs obviously, but those have to be developed in character, not just assumed from the first interaction.

⭐️ Attempt to roleplay with me if you are not a roleplay blog/or if you're just trying to RP as "yourself." I don't do Character X Reader imagines stuff. I don't RP with 'fan' accounts, only RP blogs. You can still send asks so long as you're not trying to initiate an RP scenario. For example, asking Laurens what his hobbies are, asking for a blessing etc? That's fine. Spamming me with different actions "you" are talking to Laurens is weird. Stop that. I will also not RP with blogs that claim to roleplay as real life people, such as Markiplier, that's super creepy. This does NOT apply to "historical fiction" roleplay (obviously since that's what this blog is), which is considered its own genre of literature. I'm talking about the above where people will 'roleplay' as real life, currently alive people like YouTube celebrities and ship them with their friends, even if they've made it clear that they're uncomfortable with it. 

⭐️ Get angry at me for doing something you don't like if you don't even have a rules page for me to go by. It's not fair; you can't expect your partners to just read your mind and magically know how you feel. If something bothers you let me know, I’ll make a note about it so I avoid it during our interactions!

⭐️ Use me as a meme resource blog without ever interacting with me. I don't require "reblog karma" for you to follow me, partners are more than welcome to reblog from me, but if we never interact and I just occasionally see you reblog fifteen posts from my meme tag and then disappear again I'm not gonna be happy. Go to the source or to an archived blog no longer getting notifications, please!

⭐️ Reblog my Meta/Headcanons. If they're from a different blog it's fine but the ones I've personally written are for MY portrayal of Laurens. I work hard on most of my stuff and I'd prefer if you didn't reblog it, not because you aren't allowed to have the same headcanon ideas as me, but because then it ends up getting liked or reblogged by lots of other people, spamming my notifications, etc.

OCs & Multimuses

I love OCs and multi-muse blogs (I have my own multimuse sideblog over at @historyremembers, which has other 18th century characters including the Hamilton children and some OCs), so feel free to interact! That being said, please have an about page of some sort on your blog. I can't follow back blogs that have absolutely no information available regarding their character(s). I don't RP with OC children of Laurens. This is nothing personal, but I'm fairly certain he was gay in real life and prefer to play him that way, and he only had one child - who he never even got to meet - in real life, so it just wouldn't make sense to me for him to have other kids running around unless he'd adopted some. If you're a multimuse, I may not follow you back if I'm only familiar with two of your muses if you have a blog of fifteen characters, simply because I'd prefer to keep my dash clean and only have characters/fandoms I'm familiar with on it. I'll still RP with you if you have a character I'm interested in! I just might not follow back if the majority of your characters I do not know, I apologize for this.

If you’ve made it to the end of this, congrats! I know it couldn’t be easy (my ADHD brain was frustrated trying to just write all this up) but it’s necessary so there’s not misunderstandings on what I am/am not willing to RP. I won’t ask for a password since I trust most people to have the courtesy to at least skim the rules of those they want to RP with. 

Have a nice day!

[rosellateece-blog]

A Historical past Of Musical Type In Modern Europe And America (Norton Introduction To Music.

It is official - science has basically confirmed, with a research, that Pop music is indeed each getting louder and diminishing in selection. What we think about traditional Greek folks music is intently tied to the wealthy history of Greece. In Historic Greece, the music was an integral part of Greek theater. Afterward, music evolved and was influenced by the Roman Empire, Byzantine Empire, and in a while, the Ottoman Empire. In this instance, you will be listening to a Latin music clip. In Latin music like merengue and salsa, the percussion instruments, piano, and bass line all work collectively to make an incredible intricate rhythmic internet. Within the clips below you'll hear the entire different Latin percussion instruments solo. Then you'll hear the full observe (repeated once for a total of eight measures). Provided that we do find that MySpace musicians group genres into constant complexes (3 worlds, sixteen style communities), we turn to our third question, about the structural dimensions of those complexes. To do so, we look at the extent to which the permeability of genre communities' boundaries differ. Here we return to the 2x2 desk from above, and show how the most important genre complexes within the MySpace universe fit inside it. Thanks MagicKat. A lot of girls do say they've encountered important quantities of sexism and harassment in the rock music scene, which can clarify why some ladies might have felt they wanted to be more masculine to fit in. But I agree that's not necessarily each lady's experience. Nonetheless perceptions depend for lots. If women believe the rock music scene will likely be hostile to them, they could be wary of coming into it to begin with. Fewer female artists might then imply fewer feminine followers.

Initially from the Dominican Republic , bachata is likely one of the most popular Latin music genres today. Though the making of Bachata music began again in the Sixties with the songs produced by Jose Manuel Calderon, this rhythm was not capable of compete with the recognition that Merengue used to have. Popular music serves as an id badge for certain social teams, www.magicaudiotools.com a badge that's worn with nice satisfaction. Its bonding mechanism can, North argues, ‘be useful to weak youngsters', regardless of any anti-social message it may proclaim. He commends style radio, such because the BBC's Asian Network, as being notably helpful.

Live performance Music: Many composers mixed jazz music elements with different music kinds such as classical and blues. Music during this time additionally spoke of nationalistic fervor. Among the composers whose works had been drastically appreciated have been George Gershwin (Rhapsody in Blue), Aaron Copland (Rodeo) and Dmitry Shostakovich (The Golden Age). You'll be able to hear parts of submit-‘Royals' pop in ‘Hands to Myself' and ‘Bad Liar' by Selena Gomez, ‘New Americana' and ‘Now or Never' by Halsey, ‘Gold' by Kiiara, ‘Right here' by Alessia Cara (the Grammy's Greatest New Artist), Troye Sivan, Banks - even ‘Clean House' and ‘Look What You Made Me Do' by Taylor Swift. But there is another excuse for that past altering occasions. Its name is Jack Antonoff. Pop, which is not synonymous with the time period fashionable music, arose out of rock'n'roll, people and beat music in the mid 50s USA. Nevertheless, Elvis Presley is also counted as a pioneer of the popular culture. The complexity of the original music fashion largely disappeared. In its place, easy harmonicas and series' of melodies straightforward to recollect had been launched, giving the populace higher entry to this music. With its catchy melodies the brand new style of pop was especially effectively obtained by the younger era.

On the one hand, we generally imagine biology refers to a hard and fast actuality. Our body is doing issues whether or not or not I believe it's doing these issues, no matter whether or not I'm conscious of them or understand them. It follows with this pondering that there are no privileged locations. Gravity functions the identical in Bangalore as in Paris. But at the identical time, the postmodern statement that our understanding of the world is conditioned by culture and historical past in ways in which we aren't even able to being aware of. The unknown unknowns of Donald Rumsfeld's amateur philosophizing could in the future hang-out us greater than his foreign coverage. This point is nicely taken, even if it must be balanced towards a backdrop of real waveforms and ear canals.After slapping on some reverb, the chamber strings sounded pretty lifelike, but before bouncing them I placed on my producer's hat (accessible at Asda shops for only £2.99) and added a dash of my unique keyboard patch to the combination to sweeten the sound. I despatched the composers two stereo information: a mix of my demo strings and their tough mix (so they might hear the arrangement in context), and a separate strings‑solely file so they could pinpoint its musical details. The relationship between music and hashish begins with understanding how music impacts the mind. In accordance with Michael Thaut , a professor of music and neurology at the University of Toronto, sound is processed from the spinal cord to the cortex. This means that the complete range of the central nervous system is activated after we take heed to a bit of music.Did not Arthur C. Clarke write a story about this? If I keep in mind, the researcher distilled standard music to a series of good" notes. For the centerpiece of his 1993 album, Billy Joel put collectively this stream-of-consciousness, gospel-influenced recording. It spent three weeks on the top of the pop singles chart and is likely one of the most uplifting hits of Joel's career. Typically a producer throws the whole lot they have into the arrangement, with the concept that pop music, by nature, ought to include every track you'll be able to cram and more. As a mixing engineer, you do have a little bit of freedom to mute an unnecessary sound—particularly if it is so outside the realm of at this time's pop that it might instantly detract from the mainstream expertise.You'll have listened to plenty of techno music whereas clubbing, but it is Detroit techno that is thought of to be the foundation of this type of music. Unlike the times of its emergence, the use of technology as we speak has tremendously enhanced the quality of techno model music and popularizing it amongst folks day-to-day. This was a spacey techno-trip - with a mild beat, so's dancers could come down" slowly. Aaa-ah. And as the Eighties gave solution to the Nineties, this evolved into TRANCE. Trance started, basically, as Ambient, but slowly developed into a more light type of Dance music in its personal right. And it had LYRICS. Which by definition (see MANNER above) made it POP.Future musicians can usually hear more sound than the common person, according to Gardner (2006). They could expertise their feelings auditorily. As an example, the drone of a spring rain or the out of tune E string on a guitar has the potential to turn into categorized fairly than heard in environmental bulk to those individuals. These sounds are related to emotion and will be reproduced, remembered, and referenced back to on command. You're right that numerous Okay-pop hate comes from racism, but I do not think this was hate. That is just stating reality. I am a Korean learning in US proper now and I can see that BTS is on loads of information and charts however it is just because of a particular group of fans, not widespread reputation. Individuals who like Kpop are still seen as weird like otakus, BTS has not modified that to date. Most Americans around me will not be BTS followers.

[ebelal56-blog]

Top China Expert Shares Insider Secrets to Their Economic Boom

Imagine a world where every individual is not just a number on a census form but a vibrant thread in the fabric of society, contributing to a tapestry of innovation, growth, and resilience. This vision is particularly relevant in today's context, where the dynamics of population can shift from a liability to an asset through strategic planning and execution. It’s not just a game; it’s about transforming lives and futures. So, how do we turn this vision into reality? Let's break it down. First, let’s talk about education. Picture this: schools buzzing with eager minds, where quality education is not just a privilege but a right for everyone, from the bustling cities to the quietest villages. We need to invest in infrastructure, training teachers who inspire, and updating curricula to meet the demands of a fast-evolving world. Imagine a classroom where STEM subjects—science, technology, engineering, and mathematics—aren’t just buzzwords but the foundation of learning. By emphasizing these areas, we prepare our youth for the technological advancements that will shape their futures. But education doesn’t stop at the classroom door. We need to embrace upskilling and reskilling. Think about vocational training programs that are directly aligned with market needs. It’s about giving people practical skills so they can thrive in various industries. And let’s not forget the importance of lifelong learning. In a world that’s constantly changing, we must cultivate a culture where individuals are encouraged to continuously upgrade their skills. This is where public-private partnerships come in, creating a bridge between educational institutions and the job market, ensuring that what students learn is what employers are looking for. Now, let’s pivot to technology. In this digital age, robust digital infrastructure is non-negotiable. We need widespread internet access so that everyone can participate in the digital economy. Imagine fostering an innovation ecosystem where startups flourish, backed by research and development incentives. By integrating automation and artificial intelligence into various sectors, we not only boost efficiency but also prepare our workforce for the future. It’s about creating a landscape where technology enhances our capabilities rather than replaces them. Healthcare is another pillar in this transformation. Universal healthcare is essential. We need a system that ensures everyone has access to affordable medical services. Preventive care should be our focus, reducing the burden of diseases before they become crises. And let’s leverage technology in healthcare delivery—think telemedicine and health monitoring apps that make health services accessible to all, especially those in remote areas. Next, let’s dive into economic policies. Job creation must be at the forefront. We need to stimulate growth across various sectors, particularly in emerging industries like renewable energy and biotechnology. Supporting entrepreneurship is crucial too. Imagine a world where aspiring business owners have access to grants and low-interest loans to turn their ideas into reality. Social safety nets are vital in this equation. Strengthening social security systems ensures that individuals have support during unemployment, illness, or retirement. Affordable housing is another critical aspect; everyone deserves a safe place to call home without crippling financial stress. Good governance ties everything together. Transparent, accountable governance builds trust and ensures effective policy implementation. By using data-driven decisions, we can allocate resources wisely and make informed choices that benefit everyone. Lastly, we cannot overlook environmental sustainability. Encouraging sustainable practices in agriculture and industry is essential for long-term economic stability. Investing in green technology not only creates new industries but also helps reduce our environmental footprint. In conclusion, transforming a population from a liability into an asset requires a multifaceted strategy that encompasses education, upskilling, technological advancements, healthcare, economic policies, social safety nets, good governance, and environmental sustainability. By implementing these strategies, we can create a society where every individual is empowered to contribute to economic growth, innovation, and social development. This isn’t just a vision; it’s a necessity for a thriving future. Let’s make it happen!

[la-liga-zine]

Amara, Cardi and Black Dominicanidad in the United States

In January of 2018, both Amara la Negra and Cardi B.’s names have been buzzing on social media for different reasons. The experiences of these two women, who identify racially as Black and ethnically as Dominican, serve to illustrate the subtle, nuanced complexities of race in the 21st century and in a transnational context.

Amara was featured in a recent clip from Love and Hip Hop Miami where she is seen debating a music producer about her experience and identity as a person who’s of the African diaspora.[1] The internet supported Amara for claiming her blackness proudly in front of an overtly sexist white Latino man. Overnight, social media was ablaze with Amara fever, and it became clear that people had a lot to say about her appearance. She was accused of wearing blackface, accusations that centered around her hair and her skin tone.

Cardi B. released a 90s hip hop inspired video with Bruno Mars, an artist at the center of concerns about the appropriation of African American culture. In a recent article on the issue, a writer cited her as garnering the kind of success that lighter skinned Black women are afforded to the detriment of darker skinned black women.

On the one hand, Amara has been questioned for appearing “too dark” and wearing “fake” hair. On the other, Cardi B. has been challenged for being too light vis-à-vis her African American peers in the music industry.

Accusations of this sort against Amara have floated around as rumors for years. And It is important to question the structure of privilege that will place both Cardi B. and Bruno Mars into positions of prominence, garnering success in relation to their darker skinned African American and Afro-Latinx peers. However, while the answer to addressing colorism is clear to me (consistently dedicate resources to the dark skinned, working class women who are systematically denied access), the path that I want to travel veers off these two lines and addresses what we understand “blackness” to be. Ultimately, we cannot stray far off the mark of colorism’s hierarchies because it continues to structure the ways that resources are allocated and lives organized. However, I’m allowing myself space to make other points in order to better understand Cardi B. and Amara’s positionalities as Dominican women living in the transnational context of the D.R.-U.S. relationship.

The thoughts and the questions that rise up in me when considering the recent public conversation about these artists are: “What are the aspects that construct the contemporary experience of blackness in the Americas?” and “What would it mean to center Amara and Cardi’s Dominicanidad in conversations about their racial authenticity in relationship to their African American peers?”

When talking and thinking about race, one of the most elusive concepts, multiple realities must be balanced. Skin color, hair texture and other physical features mark difference that gets framed as “racial” Given that anti-blackness and anti-indigeneity pervade the modern world, across nations and spaces, these factors will significantly (and differently) impact life outcomes of Black and Indigenous peoples. Within Black diaspora communities, class status, practices (everything from aesthetic practices like art, music and dance to healing practices) and the network of relationships and shared values that Black people develop in response to historical circumstances and imposed structures (like structural racism) and as a result of contact with each other work alongside these markers of difference to create the social contexts where “race” is understood and experienced. Prominent among the structures that craft Black experiences are racism and colorism, which work alongside classism, misogyny and other structures of privilege to pattern experience.

For Dominicans like Cardi B. and Amara who live between the racial system of Latin America and the U.S., status, practices and relationships have become significant, alongside physical features, in defining a racial identity. I say practices, thinking of the ways that styles of clothing, ways of speaking and embodying “Blackness” have become key markers of how we understand “Blackness.” Contact refers to the ways that extended contact between, for example, African American and Dominican people in Cardi B’s New York City, has precipitated new identities for young Dominicans like her that have yet to be unpacked (but that I’ll explore here). Relationship is another significant aspect that aligns the two factors mentioned: How we understand our own racial identity is never an individual experience. Instead, we form politicized visions of our racial identity when we learn from and with others who also endure racism’s effects. Or who perpetuate them. Contract, Relationships and Practices lean upon each other: The practices that make up racial identity are deeply tied to the relationships we have to the people in our circles. At the same time, racism, shapes whom we can actually be in close relationship with due to unaddressed housing segregation and classism in the U.S.

Put simply, Cardi B.’s blackness is a unique combination of two things: First, her experience as a low-income, lighter skinned Dominican woman in countries highly invested in colorism. Second, her experience in proximity to African Americans, experiences which I suggest have crafted a unique way of being afro-descendant and Dominican that are different from being African American and different from being Black Dominican in the D.R. Yet the two are deeply intertwined.

The first factor means that contending with her light skinned privilege is fully part of her experience as a black person, as it should be for all people of African descent in the Americas who have mixed heritages. In other words, contending with her whiteness vis-à-vis her blackness are also part of the work of Cardi B’s (and by extension all Dominican Americans) afro-descendant should be experiencing. Such contention comes with an acknowledgement of the whitening privilege of our practices: Our abilities to speak English, our U.S. passport and the fact that Dominicanyorks can pay in dollars when we travel to the D.R. It also means not erasing indigeneity in the desire to claim blackness, while being wary of the way the Dominican state has systematically used indigeneity to erase blackness. This, in sum, is a fine balancing act.

The second points to the fact that an entire generation of Dominican-Americans like Belcalys has grown up in the urban communities of New York. Pennsylvania, Connecticut, Florida, Massachusetts and Rhode Island. While tensions remained when African American, Puerto Rican and Dominicans kids mingled, Dominican youth largely adapted to the environment in which they were being raised, adopting hip hop culture and mixing and mingling it with their own regueatton, dembow and more recently “Spanish Trap.” Dominicanyork culture flourished from this proximity to African American peers, and while it’s largely been male-dominated and represented, Cardi B. is the closest thing to its female example for a mass popular audience. To be Dominicanyork means to hold the privileges of gringolandia (English, passport, dollars) yet to also be considered criminal and less legitimate by being associated to African- Americans. This is all happening while more traditional Dominicans continue to systematically deny Afro-Dominicans and Dominican Haitians the right to life, to their cultural practices and heritages.

Afro-Dominican. Dominicanyork. African-American. Here are multiple ways to be an afro-descendant person in the worlds that Cardi B and Amara move through. And yet the conversation is not focused on these blended identities, how complex and interesting they are. Instead, the conversation about Cardi B revolved around “beef” between her and her African American peers.

By the contemporary conversations, one might think that the relationships between Dominicans and African Americans have always been problematic. Yet the connections are much deeper than most people can understand. As the historian Anne Eller found, in the early 19 th century, as Haiti and the D.R. were the only free black and mulatto Republics in the Western Hemisphere, African Americans regularly fled to the Dominican Republic to establish communities away from U.S. racism. When the U.S. Marines invaded the Dominican Republic, they installed a system of brutal Jim Crow law, much like African Americans experienced in the United States. If the U.S. African American community was a nation, its closest neighbors would be the people of Haiti and the Dominican Republic.

While the freedom dreams from the 19 th century Caribbean and the forms of resistance to Jim Crow Dominicans enacted have largely been extinguished by a brutal regime of state-sponsored white supremacy and anti-blackness in the 20 th century, today’s debates about Cardi B and Amara’s blackness in relation to their Dominicanidad and to their standing vis-a- vis African Americans would lead us to believe that the places where these two artists come from, and the places where they have been able to establish success, are less related than they actually are. The Black people of the U.S. and those of the D.R. have historically been in relationship in ways that we are just now beginning to understand, with the discovery that the first free black person from the island of Hispaniola, Jan Rodriguez, arrived in New York City in the 1600s and a black Dominican man flew as a Tuskegee Airman.

Women in the D.R. are actively imagining and practicing a world where their blackness is not questioned as an entry point into their Dominicanidad by wearing their hair natural. In the U.S., they’re forging selves between their Dominicanness, their relative blackness, indigeneity and whiteness, and their status living in an anti-black, anti- immigrant country. Amara lives within this transnational context, a context hardly acknowledged as she emerged in English-language media over the past few weeks. When Amara first burst onto the scene with her single “Ay” in 2012, Amara’s blackness was simply not legible as signs of gendered empowerment. Some have speculated that if Amara had not rocked her Afro-Latina heritage, which in her case really is her Dominicanidad, the conversations about her body would not have been nearly as pronounced.

"Women in the D.R. are actively imagining and practicing a world where their blackness is not questioned as an entry point into their Dominicanidad."

The debates about Amara’s body, the authenticity of her hair and skin tone are futile and disrespectful. They obscure the symbols of a blackness in her aesthetic that are also incredibly, inherently Dominican and Caribbean. Watching Amara’s body of work without centering on her physical body exclusively brings into view a complex performance. Amara uses the stereotypes associated with Black women in the Americas: Mammie/domestic help and oversexualized Jezebel. She does this frequently and has established herself as an artist through this practice. With, through and despite this, the elements of her videos make quintessential reference to Dominican blackness: Looking closely, her first single contains a gaga band and carnival diablos cojuelos, both symbols of (safe) carnivalesque blackness in the Spanish Caribbean. She regularly mocks Dominican white womanhood, claiming “Te afecto bonita” in the equivalent of a Dominican valley girl accent in “Asi” and sleeping with the male partner of a lighter skinned Dominican woman in “Se Que Soy.” How Amara and her team play with the signs of Dominican and Caribbean blackness in their videos is much more interesting than wondering whether her hair is real or not. How these aspects of her aesthetic will remain visible in her move towards mainstream Latinx commercial success in the U.S. will be interesting to move the conversation on Dominicanidad and blackness to a new space.

Amara and Cardi B. remain interesting to me as a Afro-descendant Dominican immigrant woman because I understand that both are highly dangerous for the investment in whiteness and class-status that has shaped my country of origin. Despite all the ways that celebrities, and pop culture in general, can be “problematic,” Cardi B.’s rise to fame, her chapiadora aesthetics and her hood feminism is a complete threat to the status quo in the D.R. that has consistently pushed people like her and her family to the margins. Watching Amara be taken up my mainstream U.S. society has similarly brought feelings of joy and curiosity in me, as I see a new model for representing Blackness and Dominicanidad becoming more mainstream, one that is not as depoliticized as someone like Zoe Saldaña, who held that space in popular culture until recently.

My excitement, as with anything, is always marked by my awareness that we should not hinge our hopes for black liberation on Cardi B. or Amara (nor on Beyoncé, Jay Z or Oprah, or…). In contemporary circles of Afro-Latinidad, social justice and “wokeness,” there's a lot of pressure to perform the mirage of a perfect “woke” figure. The claims to this reality are made complex by the fact that our pop culture figures often serve as scapegoats for a broader audience that, due to the way that media consumption has replaced deepened interactions, uses these figures and their struggles to keep us from doing our own complex work and being our own inspiring figures challenging anti- blackness in all its forms.

In a year that has brought us deeply regressive policies and a near return to pre-Civil Rights United States, we are looking for sheroes like Cardi B and Amara to cheer on and ride hard for. The general comments about both “cultural appropriation” and “Blackface” that inspired me to write this article are indicative of a desire for authenticity that betrays a greater anxiety and need to protect a blackness that is deeply under siege. Policing the bounds of this blackness in U.S. pop culture means resorting to forms of gatekeeping that keep us from understanding the systemic forms of resource inequality that keep the people who create the cultural material in question—working class people of African descent who claim connections to the U.S. mainland or the Latin American region—from living dignified lives. Questioning appropriation by centering on the assumed perpetrators while refraining ourselves from asking “Whose culture counts as Black culture? Why is black culture being treated as a limited resource? Who instituted such thinking in the first place?” fails to move the conversation in the direction of equity.

  [1] I refrain from using the terms Afro-Latinx because it is a broad categorical term that does not allow us to get into the specificity of the experiences of individuals, specificities which are often connected to specific local histories and national trajectories. The term Afro-Latinx, moreover, deserves further unpacking for its origins. For now, it serves to say that both Amara and Cardi B. are women who live with the effects of the forms of systemic racism and lack of imagination that have plagued the world for centuries, though they live with these effects very differently due to the intersections of their class, location, nationality privileges, etc.

[kriscme]

Katniss Takes The Initiative.

This is the first fanfic I wrote for “The Chance You Didn’t Take” by Ronja (available on fanfiction and AO3 which I’d link to if I knew how).  I’m afraid it’s not very good, but there’s a happy ending.  It picks up from the final chapter minus the epilogue (still to be written). Apologies for the bad sex.   Many thanks to Ronja for the inspiration.  “His last everything,” is my last coherent thought as I drift into a blissful, dreamless sleep.  But this morning I don’t have the same confidence that Peeta simply telling me so has made him my last anything.  I’m sure Lace thought he was her last and look how that turned out.  For that matter, I thought I was his last and look how that turned out.  Peeta has done all he can to convince me that he’s not going anywhere, but the knowledge that he loved Lace, loved her enough to want to marry her, in fact, haunts me.  There was some truth to Lace’s words when she asked, “when have you brought him anything but misery?”  Even Haymitch didn’t disagree that Lace made him happy.   And here’s me – burnt, nightmares, small breasts, plain black hair, a surly disposition and a killer.   I can’t quite shake the idea that one day he’s going to realise he made the wrong decision when he chose me over her.  Will I ever feel good enough?  Will I ever have the same trust I had in Peeta’s love again? Will I ever stop measuring myself against Lace and find myself wanting?  Ultimately, I know that it’s really about how I feel about myself.  If he had married Lace he could have at least one child by now and he’d have the wife and family he’d wanted.  Yet despite all that he chose to be with me.  Buoyed by that thought, I am happy.  But a moment later I’m miserable again because I don’t want Peeta to have given up anything to be with me.  Or that it was even a choice to begin with.  I realise this thinking is getting me nowhere and could eventually corrode my relationship with Peeta if I don’t turn it around.   If I don’t like the situation, I should either change it if I can, or accept it.  I resolve to do both. My first opportunity comes a few days later when Max and I go into the woods to collect pine cones. The cones are used for school projects and collecting them has become a yearly ritual.   Max chatters away as we pile them into burlap sacks.  I make listening noises where appropriate.  I have something to ask him and nervousness has tied my tongue.  Max isn’t ideal for the topic of conversation I have planned, but there is no one else and he does have experience in this kind of thing.  What I fear most is that he will laugh. “Um, Max,” I hesitate.  “I have a couple of things to ask you, if that’s OK.”

Max straightens up and tosses another cone in the sack.  “Sure, go ahead.” I start with the easy question. “It’s about my future at the school.  I’ve been thinking about it lately and I really do enjoy teaching.  It’s just that I’m concerned how relevant my classes will stay now that professional teachers are moving into the district.  I left school at sixteen because of the Games so I don’t have much education.   I was wondering how you get qualified.  To be a teacher, that is.” Max shrugs.  “It’s not hard.  There’s actually no set standard in Panem.  It’s been left up the Districts and in many cases teachers have had no formal qualifications.   But that could change now that we have half-way decent government.  I don’t think your job is threatened at the moment but, looking towards the future, it can’t hurt to have a qualification under your belt.  What were you good at, besides killing small creatures and being generally unpleasant?” I scowl at him.  “I kill big creatures too if they annoy me, so you’d better watch it.   I guess I was good at maths, maybe science.” “Perfect.  You already have a head start in biology.  You could do a course by correspondence.  Milo can help if you need it.  We can book you online.” I must have looked blank because he continues, “Online.  Using a computer. That box like thing that’s just been installed in the office.  The outlying districts actually have internet access now.  We can register you for a correspondence course and you’ll get your lessons in the mail. “

“OK, that sounds perfect.  Thanks.” “So, what was the second thing you wanted to ask.” “Oh, yes.” I drop my gaze to the ground and kick at pine needles to hide my blush. “Um, it’s about sex.” “Excuse me?  What did you say?” “Sex.  Look, if you’re going to laugh, just do it now.  That way I’ll know not to continue.” Max pretends to be hurt.  “As if I would be so insensitive.  I thought you’d know me better by now.” “I do know you.  That’s the problem.  But there’s no one else I can ask” “Not even Peeta?”

 “Especially not him.  It’s about him.  Us, actually.”  I chance a quick look at Max but to my surprise his face is serious and I have hope that I could actually have a fruitful conversation with him. “Go ahead.  I won’t laugh.  Promise, hand on heart, “he replies, as he places his hand across his chest. I take a deep breath to calm myself. “Peeta and I have just started being . . . intimate.  And I’m worried that I may not be very good at it.  So, I thought you may be able to give me some advice,” I finish in a rush. Max stares at me, incredulous.  “Hold on.  You’re just started and he’s been back, how long? I’m immediately on the defensive.  “I knew you’d be like this.  Just forget I asked.”  Max puts up his hands.  “I’m not judging you.  I’m just trying to get some context.   If you want my advice, I’ll need to ask questions.  And you were the one to come to me, remember?” Appeased, I nod my head.  What he says is true.  If I want his help, I’d have to push past my embarrassment about such things.   “Peeta and I decided to wait until we were both sure we were committed to each other.  We had a lot to work through.  Trust issues, and such.  But now, well, Peeta is experienced and I’m not.  And I worry that I don’t measure up.”  “Right.  But, you’re not inexperienced.  You and Peeta have been. . . intimate before.  Why the worry now?” Like most people who had watched the Games, Max thinks that Peeta and I had been lovers in every sense of the word, and I have said nothing to make him believe otherwise.  Max is in for a surprise. “We never were together before.  Not like that, anyway.  We made up the pregnancy to get sympathy from the audience in the hope that the Games might be stopped.  It didn’t work, obviously.  The miscarriage was also made up – to explain why I wasn’t pregnant anymore. “

 “So, you were a virgin until recently?”  “Yes”.   I close my eyes, in anticipation of a loud guffaw of laughter.   To my relief, it doesn’t come. “And that’s a problem?  Why?” I burst out, “Isn’t it obvious?  Peeta has been used to someone far more experienced than me.  When we’re together I can’t get this thought out of my mind that he’s somehow disappointed -  that I should be doing more.   But I don’t know what.” “Has he complained?” “No, but Peeta wouldn’t.  He’d say I was good, even if I really wasn’t, if it would spare my feelings.  He and Lace used to have these inside jokes.  I didn’t know what they meant at the time, but I do now.  What if he wants me to do that?  I don’t have the first clue how to do it.” “What joke was that?” “It was about stiff jaws.”

“Oh.”  Max rubs his hand across his forehead before he continues.  “Look, most men love to be a woman’s first lover.  They pay extra at brothels for the privilege.  Believe me, Peeta doesn’t care that you have no experience.  It only takes practice.  It will mean much more to him that you haven’t been with anyone but him.” “Maybe it would have meant more to me if he hadn’t been with anyone but me.  Why should it be any different for women?” “You have a point there.  Katniss, you’re just going to have get over it.  He’s got baggage, so what?  We all have.  If it’s not a sexual past, it’s something else. At least he hasn’t tried to kill you.  Oh wait, he did.   If you can get past that, you can get past anything.   In any case, Lace may have been terrible in the sack.  Gigglers often are.  I’ve had a few myself, and they were awful, always laughing at inappropriate moments.” I smile inwardly at the sudden image of one of Max’s giggling lovers bursting into an uncontrolled fit when Max dropped his trousers.   I decide to keep it to myself. “Katniss, if you’re still worried, why don’t you get yourself a book on the subject.” “There’s books about it?   I didn’t know.  Where do you get them?” “Bookshops.  The library might have some.” I shake my head.  District 12 was still small.  What if word got out that Katniss Everdeen had bought a book on how to be good at sex?  What if Lace heard of it?  Horror!  And the library was out for obvious reasons. “You could order one online.” “You can do that?” “Sure.  You can order almost anything online.  What if we order you one at the same time we book your correspondence course?  The education of Katniss Everdeen.  What could be a worthier project?” “Can we do it tomorrow?  Before anyone gets in?  I don’t want anyone to know about it.”  We tie up the last of the sacks and commence the short hike back.  As we take leave of each other, I remember to say to him, “Thanks for the talk, Max.  And thanks for not laughing.” “No worries, Kitty Kat.  I’ve been saving it for when I get home.” ______________________________________________________________ “I don’t see any problem, Miss Everdeen.   We’ll have our architect draw up plans to your specification and once everything is to your liking, we can start almost immediately.”

“That’s great, Mr Brady.  I want this finished before winter sets in, if that’s possible.  So, the sooner we get the process moving, the better.” “We’ll do our best.  I’ll be in contact once we have the first draft done, probably in a few days.” “Thank you.  I’ll hear from you soon then.” Once out of the door, I do a quick scan of the street.  I want this to be as secret as possible, for as long as possible.   The street is clear and I commence my walk down the main thoroughfare.  It’s the commercial part of town and shops and businesses are busy with customers at this time of the day.  I quickly scuttle past Lace’s shop.  We avoid each other as much as possible.  I’ve given up hope for any kind of amnesty.  The best I get from Lace is pretence that I’m not here. However, it seems I’m safe today as there’s a closed sign on the front door and the shop appears empty.  My eye lands on the shop sign above.  The beautiful sign Peeta painted for her has been replaced with something not nearly as imaginative.  I wouldn’t mind betting the pattern book he made for her has suffered a similar fate. Three doors along there is a confectionary store.  I peer in to admire the artful displays of boxed chocolates and candies of every description.  Prim would have loved it.  Suddenly two strong male arms engulf me from behind in a bear hug and a kiss is planted on the side of my neck.  I get the fright of my life and Peeta comes within a second of having his instep stomped on.  “Peeta, you scared me.” “What?  Who else would it be?  Don’t tell me I have a rival.” “No, but do that again and you might have.” Peeta answers me with a quick hard kiss.   “What are you doing in this part of town?”  “Oh, just odds and ends.  Window shopping mostly.  What about you?” “Katniss Everdeen, window shopper.  That’s new.”  Peeta points to an office supply store across the street.  “I’ve been ordering office furniture for the library.   But now, I’m finished for the day.  Want to join me for an ice-cream?” “I think you must be made of ice-cream by now.  But sure, I’d love one.  Might as well get some calories in before we sit down to Haymitch’s cooking tonight.  Who knows what we’ll get.” “Now, Katniss, don’t be harsh.   His cooking has improved.  I think his beef bourguignon actually had beef in it last time.” “Well, we know it had the full complement of wine.” The ice-cream parlour is packed when we arrive.  Its easily the most popular addition to all the new services and amenities that’s been available in District 12 since the end of the war.  “Peeta, you grab a table.  I’ll get the ice-creams.  Soft serve?” Peeta nods and heads in the direction of a free table.  I join the queue.  Usually I hate queues but it gives me ample time to decide which flavour I’ll have.  Should I go for a tried and tested favourite such as rum and raisin or try something new such as butter pecan?  A short time later, with an ice-cream in each hand, I search out Peeta and make my way towards him.  I’m immediately struck by his doleful expression.  He was happy five minutes ago, what could have happened to change his mood so rapidly?  I take a seat opposite Peeta and hand him his ice-cream.  He smiles his thanks but it doesn’t reach his eyes and there’s something about the way he keeps his gaze forward that makes me suspicious.  I rake the surrounding area for clues, and there it is.    Just two tables away, is Lace.  She has someone with her, a friend from her home district who I recognise from the pre-wedding dinner.  Sateen Bobbin, I think her name is.   At Lace’s feet lies her big slobbering lump of a dog.  Lace’s head turns in my direction as if she senses she’s being observed.  For a moment, we lock eyes and then quickly turn away.  Neither of us wants to be caught looking.  She appears as uncomfortable as Peeta.  However, Lace’s discomfiture has an air of grievance about it and Peeta’s is one of remorse and guilt.  To make matters worse, it seems to attract the interest of the occupants of a nearby table who watch and whisper. No doubt they remember the big scandal of two years ago when Lace Bomul was dumped at the altar by Peeta Mellark.  Peeta attempts some light-hearted conversation that would fool anyone but me.  My heart breaks for him.   Suddenly, I see what the problem is.  I’ve wasted precious time and emotions feeling resentful of Peeta’s reluctance to be seen out in public with me if Lace might be there.  I’ve attributed it to lingering affection for Lace, or more consideration of her over me.  But it’s really just about Peeta.  Peeta has a great need to be liked and it devastates him when he’s not.  I’ve never cared much about what people think of me, but Peeta does. I push my chair from the table.  “Do you mind if we eat these on the way home? I’ve just remembered I have to prepare a lesson for tomorrow and I’d like to do it before dinner.” Peeta doesn’t have to be asked twice.   As we walk, I wonder whether I should say something about the scene we’ve just left.   Eventually I decide to speak up. 

 “It was awkward back there.  Lace, I mean.” Peeta shrugs his shoulders miserably.  “Yeah.  I guess it’s what I deserve, though. I wouldn’t forgive me either.” “Don’t you?  I think you would.  And I think you should. You’re carrying guilt for things that belong at Snow’s door, not yours.   None of it would have happened if not for the hijacking.” I pause for a moment to let that sink in before I express what really bothers me.  “And it’s not like Lace didn’t play a part in this too,” I continue.   “I don’t doubt she loved you, but she also knew you had lost many of your memories and that you were in a mentally fragile state.   You weren’t in a position to marry anyone, but she accepted anyway.  She took a risk, and she lost.  It burns me up that she pins all the blame on you and takes none for herself.”  I steel myself in expectation of a barrage of denial from Peeta.  He’s had nothing negative to say about Lace, yet he’s criticised my part in this whole sorry mess.  I hadn’t realised how much I resent it until now.

 But to my surprise, no denials are forthcoming.  Peeta merely shakes his head.  “I can’t blame others for all of it.  There were some things, some decisions that were all me.  I was scared, when all’s said and done.  Shit scared.”  “Of what?”  “Of being alone.  Of not being loved.  Of never being loved again.  Scared of falling in love with you and not having you love me back.” I don’t respond immediately.  This isn’t what he told me when he returned from the Capitol and I take a moment to mull it over.  “I thought you loved Lace.  That’s what you told me.  You loved her and then became confused when you started to love me again.” “Both are true.  I did love her but there was so much mixed in with that, that it’s hard to separate what was real and what wasn’t.  I think I tried to create a narrative for myself, because as hard as it to follow a false one, it’s much easier than not having one at all.   But underneath I still had the same fears and desires pulling at me.  It’s just that had no idea where to put them.  And then Lace came along and she so obviously liked me and I guess, it’s what I needed at the time.  There was a moment. . .”  Peeta hesitates, as if he’s uncertain whether he should continue. “What?  What moment?” I demand.  I have a feeling I’m not going to like what comes next, but I have to know. There have been many times when I’ve asked myself what chances I didn’t take and could have done differently.    “A moment when I teetered on the edge.  A crossroad, I guess.”   Peeta swallows and I can see it’s difficult for him to go on.  “It was at the mayor’s party.  I was with Lace, but you looked so beautiful in your Cinna dress and memories had started to return.  You had seemed angry or annoyed with me recently and I didn’t know why.  Lace told me I should give you space, but it didn’t seem to help and I wasn’t sure it was the right thing to do anyway.”  At this, I can’t help pursing my lips in anger.  I long suspected Lace of subtly undermining me and now it’s confirmed.  Peeta continues.  “But that night you smiled at me and it seemed like we were back to normal.  It’s hard to describe my state of mind at the time, but the closest I can get is that it was like there was a memory just out of my reach.   I wanted to chase it, but then you waved me away like I was being dismissed again and I felt wherever these memories were leading me, they weren’t taking me to a place I wanted to go.   But I also had these feelings that had to go somewhere and Lace was there.  I don’t know who pulled who down to the kitchens.  And then I saw you, so shocked and disgusted by what I was doing with Lace, and I knew that if there had been a chance, it was gone now.   Any feelings of attraction, I stifled from then on, or projected onto Lace.   I think it was after that I became truly serious about her. “ I recall that moment only too well.   I wish I could forget it.   Peeta was all over Lace, his lips on hers, hand on her breast, one of Lace’s legs wrapped around his thighs as he ground into her centre.  It forms part of my insecurity about sex, for while Peeta is passionate with me, there’s none of that wild frenzy about it.  I don’t whether it’s a good or bad thing, only that Lace has brought something out in him that I haven’t. “I was shocked, but not disgusted.  That night. . .”  I stop to formulate my thoughts.  There was more to it than what happened that night.  “It started before that.  I was angry and upset over the pattern book you made for Lace.” Peeta nods.  “I know it upset you, but I couldn’t fathom why.  Now looking back, it does mark the time when you withdrew from me for a while.  I thought it was because I was crowding you and you found it annoying.” “That’s what Lace told you, I presume?” Acid had crept into my voice and when I shoot a glance at Peeta and I can tell by his expression that I’m right.    “No, it was nothing like that.  You talk of self-preservation, of not wanting to be hurt.  Well, it was the same for me.   We had worked on my father’s plant book together when I was laid up with an injured foot.  I started to fall in love with you over that book.  It was such a normal thing to do, and everything we had done together before that had been far from normal.  It was the first time I could relax and simply enjoy us being together.  It was a special time for me, so when you made a similar book for Lace, I just lost it.  I wanted to save myself from more hurt, and I think I channeled it into anger.  It wasn’t fair to you, but it was a way for me to cope at the time.  And anyway, you had Lace.”  “I didn’t know. I’m so sorry.  I think what makes me angry with myself the most is that I pride myself on my ability to read people but I missed so many cues.   Dr Aurelius says we interpret according to our own standpoint but it was never a problem for me before.”  I laugh ruefully to lighten the mood a little.  “We both missed cues, but my excuse is that at least it’s my forte.”   Peeta smiles but I can tell he’s not convinced. “Anyway, for the record, I wasn’t disgusted.  Just shocked and very hurt.  I ran home in my bare feet and cried until I had no tears left.”   I add plaintively, “I never did get my shoes back,” This time Peeta laughs.  “I owe you a pair of shoes then.”  His voice turns serious.  “I wish I had known.  It’s an awful thing to say, but I became serious about Lace because I couldn’t have you.  And it’s not like I didn’t love her or we couldn’t have had a happy life, it’s just that she has one fatal flaw.  She isn’t you.” We walk in silence for a few minutes.  The gates of Victors Village loom closer.  I think of Gale and how it would have been if we had ended up together.  I think we would have been happy for a while.   I certainly had more in common with him than I do with Peeta.  Peeta and I have hardly anything in common when I think on it, but our personalities work well together nonetheless.   Gale and I would have argued a lot.  Our temperaments were too similar not to.   I can’t imagine Peeta and Lace fighting.  But that doesn’t mean there wouldn’t have been resentments or areas of unhappiness.  And while Peeta says they would have been happy, my hunch says otherwise.   They just hadn’t reached the point where the newness had rubbed off and the boredom of being too much alike had settled in.  Or perhaps it had, and Peeta simply hasn’t acknowledged it yet.  I have learned that Peeta is still in the process of gaining an understanding of those lost years. I’ll never know if Gale couldn’t have been more than a friend or it simply turned out that way because I had met Peeta.  But I had met Peeta, and that had changed everything.  Suddenly it all seemed clear to me.  Maybe it wasn’t the correct or only answer, but it was one I could live with.  Lace was to Peeta what Gale was to me.  Peeta had ruined Gale for me, and I had ruined Lace for Peeta.   We were still the star-crossed lovers, just a little more star- crossed than before.   But there is one thing that still bothers me.

“How come you’ve never pulled me away from a public gathering to kiss and grope in a dark hallway?” Peeta’s eyebrows rise in surprise.   “I respect you too much,” he declares, as if the answer is obvious.   Seconds later, he seems less sure that he’s given the right answer because he asks, “Why do you ask?  Do you want me to?” I shrug my shoulders and try to appear nonchalant.  “Not really.  I just wondered.” “It’s because I haven’t had impure thoughts that I don’t know what to do with over a girl who’s not my girlfriend.  But, if it’s important to you, next time we’re at a public engagement, I promise to push you into a dark corner so I can get my hand up your skirt and have my wicked way with you because I don’t think I could stop at the groping part.”  I try to look disapproving, but it’s hard to keep the pleased smile from my face.  “There’s no need for that,” I say primly.  “You can wait until we get home.” As if on cue, we arrive at the path that leads to my front door.  Peeta gathers me to him in a hug.  “I know you still worry about Lace.  But don’t. Whatever the future holds, you’re the one I want by my side.   Always.” ______________________________________________________________

 Peeta and I arrive at Haymitch’s door at the same time.  He’s brought dessert – apple pie, I think.  I can see his mood has improved and he’s back to his usual cheerful self.  Peeta has a remarkable ability to bounce back – a trait no doubt honed from his difficult childhood when he had to pretend that everything was well at home.  In time honoured tradition, we don’t knock but barge straight in.  Haymitch rarely answers his door bell, anyway.   The house isn’t quite as disgusting as it usually is.  It seems reasonably clean, even though it's cluttered with books, clothes, discarded bottles and heaven knows what else. We call out to him and remove some newspapers from a sofa to sit down.  He answers back from the kitchen and a few minutes later emerges wearing an apron.  It’s an incongruous touch, a nod to neatness, and completely at odds with the mess around him.  But odder still is the Cheshire grin plastered on his face.  He smirks at me, and then at Peeta.  “What?” Peeta and I call in unison.  “Nothing,” he says, although the smirk remains.  I guess we’ll hear what the joke is later. Haymitch has cooked spaghetti bolognaise and it’s quite tasty. 

 “Your own sauce?” asks Peeta. “Of course,” says Haymitch, affronted by the very suggestion. “I don’t believe in taking shortcuts when it comes to a good spag bol.  It takes the best sourced ingredients you can find combined with long, slow simmering.  A good splash of cabernet sauvignon is what elevates it to the next level.  Or a merlot, if you don’t have that.” “Well, it’s certainly delicious.  You must give me the recipe .” “Hmm, so how is it going with you kids?  Still having fun?”  The smirk has returned. “Yes,” replies Peeta slowly.  “Why do you ask?” Haymitch rises from his chair and returns with a package.   It’s been opened at one end and an address is clearly visible on top.   It reads, John Smith, 5 Victors Village, District 12.  Oh no, oh no!  It’s the book I ordered.  I deliberately gave a false name and Haymitch’s address so that it wouldn’t be traced to me.  One of the many disadvantages of having a famous name is that information like this is manna to tabloid newspapers. I can picture the headlines, “Star Crossed Lovers Need Sexing Up” or “Peeta’s Pecker Not Good Enough.”  Plutarch would be at my door to demand an interview for one of his life style programs.  That couldn’t be allowed to happen.  Haymitch usually doesn’t empty his mail box until it becomes a fire hazard.  I thought it would be a simple task to retrieve it before he did.  It must have been delivered today while I was in town and Haymitch, for once, actually collected his mail.  I try to keep my face impassive.  Maybe I can bluff this out.  Haymitch reaches in and pulls out the contents and hands it to Peeta.  I’m too afraid to look.   I know what he’ll see on the front cover.  “Human Sexual Response” by Dr Claudia Augustus.  Peeta turns it over in puzzlement.  He reads out, “Men with Big Dicks and the Women Who Love Them.” Haymitch explodes in a paroxysm of laughter.  Max!  He must have changed my order.  I didn’t know how to pay and he said he’d take care of it and that I could reimburse him later.   I will kill him when I see him. Peeta opens the book and I can just make out an image of an enormous phallus with a woman’s hand around it.  “Which of you two does this book belong to?” gasps Haymitch.  He just manages to get the words out between fits of laughter.  “We’re the only ones in the entire village, so if it’s not for me, it must be one of you.” Peeta grins and says, “Certainly not me, and Katniss wouldn’t want such a thing.  I think your friends are playing a joke on you.   Maybe someone from the council.” I don’t trust myself to say anything so I just nod.  I’ve stuck a big fake smile on my face.  I hope no one questions it.  The idea that the joke may be on Haymitch sobers him up a bit.  Peeta points out the name. “Don’t you think if it was one of us we’d have come up with something more imaginative than “John Smith”?  Besides, Katniss already has one.  A man with a big dick, I mean.” 

I turn beet red but the explanation seems to satisfy Haymitch.  He grunts in disappointment.  “Well, it was good while it lasted.  I haven’t had such a good laugh in ages.  Not since Sweetheart slipped on goose droppings and landed in the fish pond.” At last I find my voice. “That wasn’t funny.  If it had been a child they could have drowned.  That pond should be declared an environmental hazard.  If you’re not going to maintain it, you should cover it up.” “Yeah, yeah.  Maybe one day.”  Haymitch takes the book from Peeta and tosses it in the general direction of the book case.  It lands behind a pile of clothes.  The rest of the evening is an anticlimax. For Haymitch, anyway.  I go into the kitchen to collect Peeta’s pie dish just before we leave.  On the kitchen bench is an empty jar of pasta sauce.  When I re-enter the living room, Haymitch is pouring himself another drink and Peeta has buttoned up his jacket, all ready to go.  “An interesting evening,” observes Peeta as we walk away.  “Very”, I say with a grin.   I feel extraordinarily relaxed after such a close call.  If a fish pond has given Haymitch so much mileage at my expense, I can’t imagine what a book about gigantic penises would do.  “Tea at my house?” While the kettle boils, I spoon mint tea into a teapot and set out two mugs.  Peeta sits at the kitchen table while I work.  How very domestic we are, I think to myself.  Almost like a married couple.  The kettle boils and I fill the teapot to the brim and then carry teapot and mugs to the table.   I almost drop both, for there’s Peeta with a very Haymitch-like smirk holding “Men with Big Dicks and the Women Who Love Them” in his hand.  “Here’s your book, Katniss.  I managed to slip it under my jacket while Haymitch wasn’t looking.  It would be a shame if you didn’t get to see it.”

I hastily set down the tea stuff with a clatter.  “What are you talking about?  It’s not mine.” “Yes, it is.  Your face always gives you away. Why do you want a book about big dicks?  Isn’t mine big enough?”  Peeta’s face is a picture of amusement. I take refuge in anger.  I don’t like being mocked.  I especially don’t like being mocked about sex.  It’s condescending and I’m tired of it.   Peeta, and Max too, has this stupid idea that I’m “pure”.  If only they could see what goes on in my head sometimes.   “I don’t want a book about big dicks, OK?”   Peeta can’t contain his laughter any longer.   Apparently, Katniss Everdeen saying “dicks” is hilariously funny.

“Come on, Katniss.  I know it’s yours. ‘Fess up.” “I didn’t order that book.  The company sent the wrong one.”  I think it’s wise to leave out Max’s involvement in this. “But you did want to keep it secret, because you wouldn’t have used a fake name and address otherwise.  What book did you order?  It wasn’t about hunting. ” He’s not going to let this go.  I have no choice but to tell the truth.  Either way I am humiliated, but a book on lovemaking techniques has to be marginally less embarrassing than big dicks. My eyes wander around the room, anywhere but on him.  “It was a book called, “Human Sexual Response.”  I just wanted to be better at it.  For you.  I know I don’t have the experience you might be used to.  I thought a book on the subject might help.”

There’s a moment of silence.   In my peripheral vision, I see his hand outstretched towards me.  “Katniss, come here.” When I don’t respond my hand is seized and I’m plonked down onto his lap.  At least I don’t have to look at him from this position. 

“I’ve wanted to make love to you since I was old enough to fantasise about such things.  And when it happened it was the most amazing experience of my life.  And it continues to be amazing because it’s you.  OK?” Mollified, I nod my head and relax against him.  Peeta reaches out for the big dick book and opens it at a photograph of a penis that must be at least a foot long.   “And if you feel inadequate, imagine how I must feel after seeing this whopper.” I snatch the book out of his hands and go to play hit him with it.  It ends in a kissing session and by the time we think of the tea, it’s quite cold. 

________________________________________________________ The next day I receive mail that I’m not embarrassed about.  The first part of my correspondence course arrives and I’m eager to start.  It basically consists of instructions, exercises to do, and a test that I have to complete and send in to be graded.  When it’s time to be assessed, I have to sit a formal exam under the supervision of a Panem registered teacher and I know Mr Matson is one.   It doesn’t look too hard, and while I might need to consult Milo on a couple of things, I’m confident I can do this. My other exciting news is that Mr Brady got back to me earlier than expected.  He has the plans ready for me to check and, if there’s no changes that need to be made, the building work could start by as early as next week. A few days later, I’m deep into the mysteries of algebra when I hear the uneven tread of Peeta’s footsteps.   “I thought you might like a break from studying.  And some cheese buns.”  A plate of my favourite baked goods is placed in front of me and I immediately tuck in. “Yum, just what I needed.  I don’t remember doing all this algebra stuff at school.  Is it because I wasn’t paying attention or because it has nothing to do with coal mining?” Peeta puts the kettle on for tea and then grabs a bun for himself.  “Probably the former.  I think it’s used in some capacity in mining, although not in the actual digging.” “I wish I had paid more attention then.  It’s tricky.  I might have to ask Milo about it.” “Hmm.  Katniss, what have all these tradespeople been doing around your house?   At least, I assume they’re tradespeople with all the measuring and such.” I look up from my sums.  I knew this question would come and I have an answer ready.  “Oh, I thought I’d have some renovations done.  The house could do with some updating.  These houses must be, what, 75, 80 years old?  And I have money accumulated from the Victor’s pension so I might as well invest it my property.” Peeta leans back into his chair and says nothing.  I know what he’s thinking.  He’s thinking of his depleted bank account and money spent on an expensive wedding that didn’t happen and trips to the Capitol for treatment and a malfunctioning prosthetic. “Seems like a good idea,” he says eventually.   “Is there a lot to be done?” “It will be quite extensive.  Upstairs and down.  Wet areas mostly and some work on the roof.  The tiles and guttering need replacing.  Also heating and air conditioning throughout.  It’s going to be very noisy, I’m afraid.  Not to mention inconvenient with tradespeople everywhere.  I thought I might book myself into a hotel for the duration.” “Katniss, there’s no need for that.  You can move in with me.  We practically live in each other’s homes anyway.” I reach across to give him a kiss.  That’s exactly what I wanted.  And if I’m across from my house I can both oversee proceedings and make sure Peeta stays out of it.   “Thanks.  I love you.  The work starts on Monday.  I’ll move in on Sunday.  If that’s OK with you, of course” “Of course.  I’ll get the guest room ready. I scowl at him.

“For Buttercup,” he adds. “You’ll be bunking in with me.” ______________________________________________________________ Six weeks later, the work on my house is almost completed.  True to his word, Mr Brady, has everything running smoothly to schedule and it won’t be long before I can move back in.  I check on progress every day but I wait until Peeta is occupied outside the village when I do.  I’ve told him I want a “big reveal” and he won’t get to see it until it’s finished.  That goes for Haymitch too.  I can barely contain my excitement, but the more excited I get, the glummer Peeta becomes.  I think I understand.  Living together has been wonderful.  If this has been an experiment into how suited we are to share our lives together, it has been a resounding success.  It’s not that there aren’t minor irritations on occasion – there are, but they are quickly dealt with.  Our differences, which are many, actually complement each other.  We’re like two pieces of juxtaposing jigsaw puzzle pieces that aren’t the same shape, but nonetheless fit together perfectly.   Peeta has been hinting, quite heavily, that it should be a permanent arrangement.  But it’s clear that I’m not renovating a house to not use it, and I haven’t given any sign that he will be too.  Peeta seems resigned to the fact that we’ll continue to live apart when my house is finished but I can tell he’s disappointed. But tonight I feel not so much excited as very relaxed and free of my usual inhibitions.   I don’t know whether it’s the sultry weather or the two glasses of wine at dinner that’s the cause.  But as I exit the bathroom after a warm shower with my short satin nightgown gliding sensuously against my skin, I feel like the most dangerous of predators.  And then I spy my prey unawares.  He’s seated on the bed innocently removing his prosthetic.   His broad muscled chest is bare, his only garment is loose fitting shorts. I stand in front of him.  He looks up, puzzled.  With a hand on each shoulder, I push him down onto the bed and with one smooth motion yank down his shorts.  His penis springs up, semi-hard already. I have no idea what I’m doing, but I am determined.  I drop to my knees, take a firm grasp and lower my mouth.  I hear a startled gasp and then a moan of pleasure.  I use his reactions to guide me as I pump, swirl and suck.   I hear, “Katniss, I’m about to come” and a hand gently tries to push me away.  But I’m relentless.  I know what’s about to happen and it doesn’t faze me in the least.  I’m the girl who could eat anything Greasy Sae dished up.  He comes with a series of violent shudders and it’s only then that I release him.  He stares at me with a mixture of awe and delight. 

“Wow.  Just wow.  I’ve never had. . . that was amazing.  You’re amazing.” I sit back on my haunches and smile with pride.  I did it.  But what did he say?  Did he say “I’ve never had?  Had Lace never done that?  No, she couldn’t have.  I was Peeta’s first! Suddenly I’m pulled on to the bed, I’m flat on my back and my nightgown is ruched around my armpits.  I was naked underneath and I try to cover myself with the quilt.  But my knees are seized and pulled wide apart and then his head is between my thighs and he’s staring directly between them and I’ve never felt more vulnerable. “Your turn.”  I go to push his head away but the moment his tongue makes contact I forget to be shy.  I forget everything except the wonderful sensations that threaten to engulf at any second.   He’s tentative at first and then gains in confidence until he seems to enjoy it as much as me.  In some distant part of my mind, I register that this is a first for him too.  My orgasm is swift and powerful and I open my eyes just long enough to see the triumph on Peeta’s face.   He then raises himself and comes forward to kiss me on the lips.  I taste myself on him and I like it.   I eagerly wrap my legs around his back to invite him in.  As we move together in unison, it’s like the best homecoming conceivable. After, he kisses me tenderly and, wrapped in each other’s arms and without one word said, we sleep. Next morning, I wake to the uncomfortable sensation of a full bladder and something heavy pressing against it.  Peeta is lying on his side, his head on my shoulder and an arm draped over my hip.  He’s fast asleep.  I carefully remove his arm so as not to disturb him.  He grunts a little and then settles on to his back.  Satisfied he hasn’t woken, I hurry to the bathroom to relieve myself. At the washbasin mirror, I take in my dishevelled appearance.  My braid has come undone during the night and my hair is a long, tangled mess.  I try to see if there’s anything different in my face, but it’s the same Katniss Everdeen I see in the mirror every day.  It’s strange that it doesn’t show, this newfound confidence I have.   Max was right, to a point.  Sex is just practice, but it’s also involves a little risk taking and willingness to venture outside one’s comfort zone. That joke about stiff jaws will never bother me again.  Sore cheeks, more like.  And to think I had surpassed Lace in the bedroom.  Or, at least, in the oral sex department.   It occurred to me that what I imagined wasn’t nearly as bad as the reality.  I thought of them as having unbridled sex around the clock but maybe it wasn’t so.  When I think on it, Lace definitely came across as affectionate rather than sexual with her cheek caresses and lingering looks; just the thing to snare an affection needy Peeta.   Perhaps they had what Max calls “vanilla” sex.   Well, Peeta is going to get more than soft serve from me.  He’s going to get every flavour in the ice-cream parlour. When I go back into the bedroom, Peeta is still on his back and sound asleep.  There is something a little different though.  There’s a definite bulge under the sheets where his groin is.  I know this is an occurrence that young men commonly have while they sleep.   In fact, I was aware of it when Peeta and I slept together on the train.  Peeta did his best to hide it, and I did my best to ignore it.  But today, I think I’ll do something about it. I pull my nightgown over my head and let it fall to the floor.  No more nakedness issues from me.  Very carefully, I pull the sheet away and Peeta’s erection springs free in all its glory.   Kneeling beside him on the bed, I dangle my hair over it and slowly move my head to and fro so that it gently caresses his dick. (Hooray, I said dick.  Or is cock better?  Never mind, dick will do for now.)  He moans and his dick twitches.  I continue my onslaught but it gets uncomfortable sitting back on my haunches so I straddle him backwards, up on my knees, my head over his groin, hair softly swaying. Without warning, a finger runs the length of my slit and now it’s me who’s under assault.  Tiny circles are drawn at the top of it and I feel my legs start to buckle as an orgasm builds.  I don’t think I can stay upright so I swiftly turn around, grasp his dick and slowly lower myself onto it.   I dare to look at Peeta’s face and keep my eyes locked on his as I grind and rock against him.  I notice that if I squeeze my inside muscles, the sensations are more intense.  Peeta likes it too, if the increased upward thrusts of his pelvis are an indication. Peeta puts his thumb where his finger had been and I soon climax in great rippling waves.   I barely have time to process it before Peeta performs one of his wrestling moves and I’m on my back and he’s on top.  In a few strong thrusts Peeta comes too.  He collapses on to my chest and then rolls off to lie close to my side, up on one elbow.   He looks down on me with a bemused expression. “What have you done with pure Katniss Everdeen?” he asks. 

I smile smugly.  “She never existed.  Wanton Katniss Everdeen was just waiting to get out.  She fooled everyone.  Even me.” “She certainly fooled me.  I hope I can keep up.” I reach up to push away a stray curl.  “Don’t worry, you will. ” _____________________________________________________

 Peeta and I stand before my newly painted front door.  It’s time for the “big reveal”.  “I don’t know why this had to be a big secret,” he grumbles.  “You’ll see.” I turn the doorknob and enter.  Peeta follows me in.   The front rooms are essentially unchanged except for fresh paint and new light fittings.  It’s the kitchen I want him to see.  It’s been enlarged and completely overhauled.  The appliances are state of the art with four ovens, including the same kind Peeta had specially installed in his own kitchen.  There’s even a small room off it called a butler’s pantry that Mr Brady said was the latest thing and a boon to keen cooks.  It sounded pretentious to me, but if it’s the latest thing, then I want Peeta to have it.    Peeta runs his fingers along the marble top of the island bench (ideal for pastry according to Mr Brady).  “Impressive, “is all he has to say. We move to the rear of the house.  The porch has been widened and extended outward.  It should be great for entertaining or simply to take in the sunset.   I point out the spot where I plan to install a swimming pool.   And then we briefly survey the mud room.  That’s for me.  I wanted a place to change out of my muddy boots and store my hunting equipment. We go upstairs.  Like the front downstairs rooms, it’s mostly a matter of fresh paint.  The bathrooms have been renovated though.  I made sure that they were easy for someone with a disability to use, without it being obvious that’s what it was designed for.  The bedroom that overlooks the back garden is what I’m most nervous about showing him.  It was Prim’s room, untouched since her death, but I’m sure she would approve of its new use.  The carpet has been replaced with bare polished boards and the built-in robes have been modified to include shelves and drawers.  A skylight floods the room with natural light.  And if it isn’t obvious what the room’s purpose is, the large easel surrounded by canvases of varying sizes should leave no room for doubt. Peeta hasn’t said anything.  This flummoxes me.  I was expecting admiration, or surprise, or something.  But then it occurs to me that he’s waiting for me to speak first.  Suddenly, I’m afraid.  What if he doesn’t like it, or he thinks I’m terribly presumptuous.  It’s not like I asked him about any of this. 

“I thought, perhaps, that this could be our home.  That we could live together, all the time.   I should have asked you first, I guess.  You might have preferred your own house.  But this is where the primroses are planted and you know how cats hate to move.  You don’t mind, do you?” 

Peeta shakes his head.  “I can’t do it, Katniss.” My stomach sinks.  “But why?  I thought you liked us being together.  If there’s anything you don’t like, we can change it.” “The house is perfect.  I wouldn’t change a thing.  It’s just that I have to think of my reputation. I can’t just move in with you.  This isn’t the Capitol where unmarried cohabiting couples are common.  There’s nothing else for it.  You’ll have to marry me first.” I’m speechless with surprise.  I scan his face looking for any sign that this is joke.  But while his expression is good humoured and kind like always, he’s also deadly serious.  “Ah, um, is that a proposal?”

Peeta’s arms go around me.  “Most definitely.” “Are you sure?”  After the disaster of his last engagement, I was certain it would be a long time before Peeta contemplated marriage again.  “Sure, I’m sure.  I’ve wanted to marry you since I was six years old.” “And you won’t move in with me until I do?” “No.” I rest my forehead against his chest to think about it.  Marriage has never been a priority for me.  Indeed, at sixteen I wanted nothing to do with it.  But, if I’m honest with myself, isn’t it something I saw myself doing eventually at some vague, shadowy time in the future?  Rather like the room I recently thought would make an ideal nursery.   My mind suddenly clears, and the decision is easy.  Whether I marry Peeta now or several months from now, I know it would have happened anyway.

“Yes.” “Did you just agree to marry me?”  A big smile splits Peeta’s face. “I did.”  Peeta leans forward to kiss me but I put up hand to stop him.  “On one condition.  I don’t want any fuss with wedding dresses, or wedding receptions or any of that palaver. “ “You get no argument from me.”   And then his lips are on mine and we seal the deal with a kiss. 

 “I could live a thousand lifetimes and not deserve you,” Peeta tells me when our lips eventually part.  There is only one response to that. “I know.” 

______________________________________________________________ At nine am on a beautiful spring day, Peeta and I arrive at the Justice building to register our marriage.   After signing the requisite forms, we pay the fee and the matter is done.  Then we go home. I had a bonanza hunt the day before and the wild turkeys are roasting nicely in the new ovens.  Peeta has prepared an assortment of side dishes but the piece de resistance is the wedding cake.  It was my only concession to a formal wedding and I can’t deny that Peeta has done a magnificent job on it. At approximately 12 pm, our guests start to arrive.  Haymitch is first and heads straight for the liquid refreshments.  He says it’s never too soon to start toasting the happy couple.  Effie arrives right on time and insists on a tour of the house.  She enthuses over the improvements and congratulates me on having the latest “must have”.  I think she refers to the butler’s pantry but I’m soon surprised to discover that it’s the mud room that has earned her approval.  Apparently, anyone who is anyone in the Capitol is either having one built onto their home or converting an existing room for the purpose.  You can trust the Capitol to make a “must-have” out of something they have no real use for. The Matsons arrive together.   Max has a new girlfriend.  She’s a giggler so I hope for the sake of Max’s sex life that he was wrong about them.  Max, who keeps me informed of the gossip around town that I seem to miss, tells me that Lace was seen licking ice-cream off the face of the new tailor in town.  The tailor was enthralled it seems, although Max says he’d rather have Lace’s dog licking ice-cream off him than Lace.  I think that’s a bit harsh, but I can’t complain that Max is a loyal friend who always takes my side.  I’m happy for Lace though.  Peeta will be too.  Thom and Bristol, Peeta’s co-workers at the library, are here with their partners.  And running just a little late is Delly with her fiancé, Davis.  Delly wants to return to District 12 to live but is having trouble finding a house.  Peeta and I swap glances.  We know of a house that’s available.  I know how much Peeta misses his childhood friend and, for myself, I like Delly.  She has the open friendliness of Lace but without being cloying.  Best of all, she has no designs on Peeta.  But there’s a special guest who is yet to arrive.  The lateness is not unexpected as the train service from District 4 is notoriously unreliable.  It’s almost 1pm when she enters the house she hasn’t seen in almost five years.  The years haven’t been kind to her, there’s been too many deaths, too much hardship, but she looks well nonetheless.  It’s taken a great deal of courage to come.  She feared her depression could be triggered by reminders of the past, but she was reassured that so much had changed, it wasn’t likely.  My mother and I hold each for a long moment.  We haven’t had the closest mother-daughter relationship but we still share a deep bond and I’m very happy to have her with me today. Later, our guests retire to their homes.  Or, in the case of those who don’t live nearby, comfortably ensconced in Peeta’s former home across the street.  That leaves Peeta and me alone to enjoy our first evening together as husband and wife. We sit on the porch to watch the setting sun.  On the kitchen bench is a fruit and nut loaf, freshly baked this morning.  Soon we’ll go indoors, light a fire, toast the bread and feed it to each other.  But now, in the quiet and stillness of the evening, an overwhelming sadness takes hold.  The day has been so full that I had little time to think of the beloved sister who wasn’t here to share this day with me.  Peeta holds me close.  He knows without words.  I’m reminded of our time in the cave when I lay in his arms in our shared sleeping bag and I had never felt so safe and protected.  Then, I wasn’t sure how I felt about him, but today I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life. “I love you, Peeta.” Peeta presses a kiss to my temple.  “I love you, too.  Let’s go inside.  We have a toasting to go to.”

[weeklyreviewer]

China is slowly expanding its power in Africa, one TV set at a time

His small home in Limuru village doesn’t have running water and its walls are made from corrugated metal. Yet outside, where chickens roam the yard, the father-of-two, who repairs shoes for a living, has a large Chinese-built satellite dish that connects his old television set to hundreds of channels — many of which are being beamed from Beijing.

“It’s advantageous to have many TV channels,” said Nganga, who was limited to a few local Kenyan stations before the Chinese dish. “Because you can know how the world is changing every day.”

Nganga’s connection to the wider world is directly thanks to Xi Jinping, the president of China.

In 2015, Xi announced the 10,000 Villages Project, a lofty plan to take digital television to impoverished parts of Africa, such as the village where Nganga lives. Previously, television access in many parts of the continent was a privilege of the elite, and those who were connected relied on old-fashioned, snowy analog reception.

Xi’s dream was to upgrade huge swathes of Africa to modern, digital satellite TV networks, that could broadcast a constellation of channels over long distances — so long, in fact, that a TV channel from Beijing could be beamed to African homes.

This was more than just a philanthropic gesture.

It was a stroke of soft-power genius that would raise China’s profile among Africans, while giving Beijing a tighter grip on the continent’s communications infrastructure and control over how it is portrayed there in the media.

And it would boost the fortunes and power of one important Chinese company that otherwise keeps a low profile.

StarTimes has been the Chinese government’s primary contractor to carry out the 10,000 Villages Project, paving the way for the Beijing-based firm — not any of its American or European media competitors — to dominate the African market of 1.2 billion people. A spokesperson for StarTimes said it was “important” for Beijing to work with “an experienced and cost-conscious enterprise for the assignment.”

Today, the company beams Chinese TV shows into the homes of 10 million subscribers in 30 African countries, pushes China’s state-owned propaganda news network into households over Western news networks, and controls television networks to such an extent in Zambia and Kenya there have been fears the company could black out TVs in those countries, if it wanted to.

While channels like the BBC reach more people and South African distributor MultiChoice has more subscribers, StarTimes’ breadth of reach has some critics worrying: Does the company, with its close ties to Beijing, now have too much power over African television networks?

In many ways, StarTimes’ situation runs parallel to better-known communications giant Huawei, which is battling global criticism for its control over 5G internet networks and ties to Beijing. But unlike Huawei, StarTimes has become one of Beijing’s most powerful soft power tools in Africa — without much of the world even knowing its name.

Here’s how it got that way.

The African opportunity

In 2000, the Economist ran a cover story about Africa titled “The Hopeless Continent.” The headline aptly captured the pity through which much of the Western world viewed the African continent at the time: $1 trillion in development aid hadn’t prevented famine from taking one million lives in Ethiopia in the 1980s, stemmed the scourge of AIDS, or stopped a brutal genocide from slaughtering roughly the same number in Rwanda in the 1990s.

Aid dollars served to ease Western guilt over what then British Prime Minister Tony Blair called a “scar on the conscience of the world,” but aside from drilling for oil and establishing military bases, little energy went into doing real business in Africa.

Meanwhile, China took an entirely different approach.

In the same year as that Economist cover, Chinese President Jiang Zemin invited heads of state across Africa to attend the inaugural Forum on China-Africa Cooperation in Beijing, to discuss how the two regions could better work together.

By the mid-2000s, the Chinese government, under its “Going Out” strategy, was encouraging entrepreneurs to head abroad and forge stronger ties with African nations.

Chinese entrepreneurs looking to make early inroads in nascent markets started moving to Africa. George Zhu, for example, went to Nigeria and launched Transsion, which sells cheap multi-SIM handsets and now has the biggest smartphone share on the continent. Ren Zhengfei took Huawei into Kenya, a country that today remains unfazed by the West’s concerns about the company’s ties to Beijing. And not long after that, TV enthusiast Pang Xinxing decided to pivot his telecommunications company StarTimes away from China, where the TV market was quickly becoming saturated, and into Africa.

Pang reported seeing a largely underdeveloped market where many families either did not have a TV or were sharing one with several households. “Even if there is a TV, they can only watch two or three channels, digital TV is beyond their imagination,” he said back in 2002. Furthermore, there was normally only one strong company in each country and users were being charged about $70 a month for a subscription — a huge fee on a continent where GDP per capita was around $700 a year at the time.

Pang saw an opportunity for a low-cost TV provider. Today, StarTimes has some of the world’s most affordable digital TV packages, which can cost as little as $4 a month.

His arrival was also perfect timing in another way.

A 2006 United Nations treaty had tasked African countries with making the switch from snowy, unreliable analog signals to digital by 2015. It was a deadline that nearly all African governments missed but the pressure was on to invest — and to find a company that could help them do it.

That gave StarTimes another revenue stream — building and operating the digital TV infrastructure of nations.

In 2007, Pang landed the company’s first digital TV license in Rwanda. The next year, StarTimes launched the Rwanda Digital TV Platform, offering Rwandans more than 30 channels for $3 to $5 a month, including four Chinese channels from the main state-owned broadcaster in mainland China.

When contracts came up to turn off governments’ analog networks and take them digital, at first “StarTimes was the only company competing,” said Dani Madrid-Morales, an assistant communications professor at the University of Houston, who researched the company while studying as a PhD student at City University of Hong Kong. “Then [Pang] was able to provide evidence that StarTimes had experience in African countries and offer very low prices.”

Other competitors started to join the market, said Madrid-Morales.

But StarTimes almost always won.

Control of a continent’s airwaves?

Nearly two decades later, the China-Africa summit President Zemin had hosted in 2000 has become one of the most important diplomatic events in many African nations’ calendars.

In 2018, virtually every African head of state descended on Beijing for the Forum on China-Africa Cooperation to secure a slice of the $60 billion in development loans and business deals on offer.

While in the capital, heads of state and top ministers from Sierra Leone, Lesotho, Malawi, Zambia, Central African Republic, Malawi, Ghana and Uganda all had an important appointment.

They visited Pang at the StarTimes’ huge mothership on the outskirts of the capital. “I don’t think any head of the BBC has had one-on-one meetings with so many African heads of state,” Madrid-Morales said.

Befriending governments has been crucial to the StarTimes’ business, as it bids to win state contracts to help countries make the leap from analog to digital TV.

Angela Lewis, a PhD candidate in the international communications department of Nottingham University in Ningbo, China, who has been researching the company for years, said the company has had full backing Beijing in doing this.

StarTimes is the only private Chinese company with authorization from the Ministry of Commerce to operate in foreign countries’ radio and TV industries. Furthermore, China’s state-owned EXIM bank has provided the company with hundreds of millions of dollars in loans to enter the African market. StarTimes claims to be a private enterprise pursuing business goals while maintaining “cordial relations with its parent state.”

The idea that a company with such close ties to Beijing has control over many African nations’ TV networks has sparked headlines such as “StarTimes plots to take over Africa public broadcasters” — echoing concerns that internet security experts have expressed over 5G giant Huawei and how its ties to the Chinese state could compromise other nations’ communications infrastructure.

In Zambia, for example, StarTimes entered into a joint venture called TopStar with state broadcaster ZNBC to help the country make the switch to digital TV. The deal gave the Chinese player a 60% share in the state broadcaster for 25 years. That split in the Chinese partner’s favor has caused critics to fear that StarTimes has effectively taken control of the country’s television network.

Josephat Nchungo, an international trade analyst at the University of Zambia, said: “The primary objective of this partnership is providing the infrastructure for digital TV. The secondary objective is also to exchange culture and knowledge between the two countries. StarTimes has been so controversial because people interpreted it as a sale of the state broadcast to the Chinese and hence the loss of sovereignty.”

Similar concerns have been raised about deals in Ghana, by the Independent Broadcasters’ Association, and Kenya, where StarTimes has also partnered with state broadcasters to operate the new digital network.

“If the StarTimes pulled out of some countries,” said Madrid-Morales, “the country’s TV stations would stop working. Essentially, StarTimes has the power to black out some countries’ TV networks, if it wants.” That’s a claim that StarTimes pushes back on, saying that the company “does not control any country’s TV network and does not have the capacity to spark media black outs.”

That matters because satellite television is the preferred and more affordable option for many Africans.

While viewers in the West increasingly consume content through online streaming services such as Netflix and Hulu, the prevalence of pay-as-you-go data contracts in Africa makes watching shows on these type of services expensive.

George Mbuthia, research analyst for East and West Africa, at IDC, said: “Although video streaming services are on the rise in Africa, for the majority of the population, mobile video streaming remains out of reach. This is due to poor connectivity and high cost associated with live streaming. Few users use mobile phones for streaming while majority prefer pay-TV.”

There are also economic concerns in the deals that StarTimes has made.

To pay for the $271 million contract, for example, Zambia took out loans from China’s Export-Import Bank. “In order for partnerships to happen, the African country must usually take money from Exim bank,” said Lewis. That raises fears that countries will be saddled with debt to China.

It’s just one example of how Beijing benefits when StarTimes prospers.

Haggai Kanenga, from the department of development studies at the University of Zambia, said: “The loan shows the money for this project is coming from the Chinese government itself, so these two — the StarTimes and the Chinese government — cannot be separated. In Zambia, they are widely viewed as one.”

A hard play for soft power

While StarTimes chased big government contracts to operate digital TV infrastructure, it also wooed consumers with cheap TV packages they could buy on digital networks, which often severely undercut local competitors.

From the beginning, the Chinese startup was regularly offering more channels than MultiChoice, the South African market leader in Anglophone Africa, and Canal+ in French-speaking countries — and for half the price. Consumers could get StarTimes cable and satellite TV packages for as little as $4 per month.

Competitors often complained they were facing unfair competition because StarTimes was so cheap, Madrid-Morales said. But there was little they could do.

The content offering by StarTimes included the sort of Filipino and Turkish soap operas that audiences in places like Kenya had been watching for years. But it added Chinese dramas and Kung Fu films to the mix — the latter proved so popular that StarTimes launched the StarTimes Kung Fu TV channel dedicated to them.

While not overtly political, the Chinese dramas were carefully curated to portray China as a modern, urban place, said Madrid-Morales — despite the fact that about half of China’s population still lives in the countryside. The idea, he says, was to portray China as a wealthy, modernizing country.

That aspirational narrative worked. One Chinese drama “A Beautiful Daughter-in-law Era” — about the intermarriage of a countryside migrant woman to an urban man — proved wildly popular in Africa in the early days after being translated into Swahili, Madrid-Morales said.

In 2011, the company established a huge translation campus on the outskirts of Beijing, where it hired mostly foreign staff to voice Chinese dramas into English and African languages including Swahili and Yoruba. The StarTimes Dubbing Contest scoured African countries seeking out voice actors to be whisked to China to narrate new content.

There was also another key component to StarTimes’ programming: pro-Chinese news.

The cheapest TV packages only gave viewers access to Al Jazeera and China Global Television Network (CGTN) — a state-owned news broadcaster that is part of Xi’s soft power mission to “tell the China story well.” That has often translated into reporting the news with a pro-China slant, to such an extent that in the United States, CGTN recently had to register as a foreign agent under anti-propaganda laws. One analysis of the 2014 Ebola outbreak in Africa, for example, found that 17% of stories by CGTN (then operating under a different name) mentioned China, emphasized the role its doctors played in the relief efforts. In reality, China had spent far less than the US, United Kingdom and Germany fighting the disease.

Western news channels, such as the BBC, whose broadcasts in many African nations are not subject to the kind of government censorship that they are in China, were available only on more expensive packages.

A huge turning point

In a flashy business district in downtown Nairobi, Japhet Akhulia is celebrating at the StarTimes’ new glass headquarters.

After another round of price slashing, StarTimes has hit 1.5 million subscribers in Kenya, putting it just behind the established player MultiChoice, says Akhulia, brand marketing director for the company in the East African country.

StarTimes has been in Kenya since 2012, but its recent growth has been driven, at least in part, by the support of President Xi.

In 2018, Beijing gave Akhulia’s team 800 million Kenyan shillings (roughly $7.8 million) to roll out the 10,000 Villages project in Kenya. That money would take StarTimes to an additional 16,000 households and 2,400 public institutions, such as schools and hospitals, across the country for free. Half that money was for equipment, and the half was for implementation costs including travel of StarTimes’ staff.

In most villages where the StarTimes installs TV for free, a mural is painted with the flags of Kenya and China side by side. That StarTimes enjoys a mutually beneficial relationship with Beijing is clear: the company is paid to execute the 10,000 Villages Project, and gains more customers from doing so. Xi gets to put Chinese content into households across Africa.

That symbiotic relationship caused onlookers like Lewis to question how private StarTimes really is.

“It’s obviously a proxy for the Chinese state,” she said.

Pang has never given an interview to Western media, enabling him to answer such allegations. As the StarTimes’ founder’s fortunes have amassed, he has kept an assiduously low profile even on matters such as whether or not he is a Communist Party member.

When asked about the government’s relationship with StarTimes, a spokesperson for the Chinese Ministry of Foreign Affairs in Beijing said via fax: “The Chinese government is always encouraging quality and reputable Chinese enterprises to develop in Africa.”

“It’s not easy to carry out the 10,000 villages project. Many foreign countries have neither the capability nor willingness to do this. In fact, the project has earned extensive recognition from local governments and people,” the spokesperson continued. “Last year, elementary students in remote Zambia watched the World Cup thanks to this project. Zambian president Edgar Lungu said publicly several times that the China-Zambia relations are mutually beneficial, and any distorted publicity can’t stop us from advancing our friendship for mutual principles and benefits.”

Localized content

Sande Bush is a comedian known as Dr. Ofweneke. But recently he’s been wondering if his stage name should be Dr. Love. That’s because Bush is the co-presenter of hit dating TV show “Hello, Mr. Right,” which pairs Kenyans with potential love matches.

“Actually, men have proposed on air,” says Bush. “These guys were literally just falling in love at first sight. It was beautiful.”

“Hello, Mr. Right” is important because it was StarTimes’ first foray into producing African-made content in Kenya, having already successfully tested the waters in Nigeria. The project shows how the Chinese company is evolving in local markets to maintain its foothold.

While conceived and directed by Chinese executives, the format of the show was shaped by its African co-hosts Bush and Vera Sadika. “It was easy to communicate. We gave them fresh ideas. We’re very modern and we know what’s trendy,” Sadika said.

As StarTimes secured its stronghold in Africa, creating localized content was key to growing its position in the market — and warding off Western competitors, who having seen the success of Chinese companies like StarTimes and Transsion on the continent. Meanwhile Netflix has been painfully slow to the continent. It finally entered Africa in 2016 — but even then it encountered criticism for demanding too much bandwidth for many slow internet connections in the region, where many people still have pay-as-you-go data contracts. Good internet speeds can be prohibitively expensive.

StarTimes’ localization has benefited local African creative industries, which have received investment from the Chinese firm.

“Africa is a scientific experiment for the creative industries of China,” Lewis said, noting that the underdeveloped market in Africa often gives entrepreneurs a blank slate to play with.

The more Chinese firms invest and experiment in Africa, the deeper their marketplace dominance is entrenched on the continent — and the more Beijing’s soft power grows. While Spotify and Apple Music target users mostly in developed markets, for example, Boomplay, which is owned by two Chinese companies, has become the largest streaming music service in Africa; it has 46 million users on the continent with a catalog of five million videos and songs, according to the company’s figures.

That early adoption advantage is what StarTimes has been banking on for decades, as it hoovers up government contracts and customers, from poor to elite, sewing up television markets across the continent. As the African continent continues to migrate to digital TV, StarTimes’ subscriber base is predicted to jump to 14.85 million by 2024, according to Digital TV Research — putting it ahead of MultiChoice.

That will only deepen China’s influence in a region that the West once saw as “the Hopeless Continent.” But should African nations be worried about StarTimes’ influence and relationship with Beijing, in the same way the West is about Huawei?

Madrid-Morales doesn’t think so. The potential negative consequences of having StarTimes dominate Africa’s television networks are still just possibilities, he said. Secondly, the costs associated with building these networks are enormous.

Many countries couldn’t have done it without Beijing.

“In the tradeoff between letting go of some sovereignty and building a state-of-the-art telecommunications network, most African countries have chosen the latter,” he said.

CNN’s Serenitie Wang also contributed to this report.

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[jeneelestrange]

How Death Note *MIGHT* Still Pull This Off

*deep breath*

Okay.

Here’s the thing.

I think some of ya’ll discussing this in general are…..leaving some stuff out of the discussion, and I don’t know whether or not its intentional, but here it goes. Have any of you tried to translate anything? Because for any sufficiently complicated piece of work(what people would consider Literature™), a perfect translation does not exist. Period.

Death Note stopped being Authentically Japanese™ the minute your Western eyes saw it. A lot of the meaning a work has is brought there by the viewer. And I’m not even talking about the more nitty-gritty details, I’m talking about the very PREMISE. The idea of a teenage boy with a notebook that can kill people is just plain not going to have the same impact on an American that it does on a Japanese person. Japanese has a next-to-nonexistent crime rate. Americans are constantly surrounded by teenage boys with access to literal death machines. Every month, there’s a new random shooting in my country. I am CONSTANTLY SURROUNDED by teenage boys who could indiscriminately kill me and everyone I love, AT ALL TIMES. I live in an ENTIRE COUNTRY of Light Yagami’s. If it wasn’t for all the other squeeing weebs around me who gave me a recommendation, I would not be that interested in that premise. I LIVE that premise.

And some of ya’ll are not realizing that, by your logic, we shouldn’t translate anything ever. You may think I’m exaggerating, but muddle over the fact that JAPANESE TRANSLATIONS for SHAKESPEARE exist. HOW DO YOU EVEN HOPE TO DO THAT??? There are works for which the original meaning is UNSALVAGEABLE(a good example is in The Inferno with the famous “Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter Here” line. Italian has gender, and “hope” in Italian is gendered female–calling back to Beatrice in heaven in the first part. What do you do? Put in a note and interrupt the flow of the reader in the story? Try to cram in a reference to women somewhere else? There literally is no perfect solution). And NO, the solution is not to annotate every goddamn thing! They interrupt the flow of the story! Dyslexic people often can’t read them! And sometimes people just want to Enjoy A Thing, not take an entire course on a country’s culture(this is rich coming from me, but still)! Not to mention trying to translate a COMEDY word-for-word is the worst idea imaginable if you’ve ever had a joke explained to you–if you weebs don’t believe me, watch “Nerima Daikon Brothers” and read the essays upon essays on its jokes and tell me you find that shit funny.

So how can you make it actually have the same punch to someone who has never heard of Death Note? You’re either going to have to give up and make something shot for shot the same–which audiences AND fans don’t like because WHAT’S THE POINT–or you’re going to have to change something.

LET ME STOP HERE FOR A MOMENT TO SAY, that I *completely* agree that whitewashing is a problem. That we need more movies with characters of color. That it is simplistic and stupid and wrong what they did in Avatar, Gods of Egypt, Pan, Prince of Persia, Ghost In The Shell, basically everything else. But I am going to speak up and say it might be different for THIS MOVIE IN PARTICULAR. Why?

Because Light Yagami, from the eyes of an American like me, acts like every typical overprivileged white dude I know. I’m not even kidding, he reminds me of every single guy I went to school with in IB–full of himself, full of ennui, convinced with how smart and great he is just because he happens to get A’s with a stacked life deck. Then when he gets the Death Note, it takes him like a couple of seconds of thought to get to God Mode™ because he’s had everything come easy to him his whole life, right, so of course he must just be smarter and all around better than everyone else. Light is the dominant race in his country. He is not Ainu, he is not Ryukyu Island Native, he is not Burakumin, he is not one of the other Asian minorities in Japan. Remember, the Japanese do not have the same racial dichotomy that America does. The Japanese are the dominant race there.

If you tell me, “Imagine Death Note happened, but in America,” I would immediately switch Light to white. Because while yes, that character flaw and personality can technically happen to anyone, I see it faaaaar and away more commonly with white men. In basically all the other examples of movies I listed above? They didn’t have that issue. Their main characters didn’t act like a privileged white shit.

NOW AT THE SAME TIME, the writers have to confront that they must change SOMETHING about the narrative. It’s either going to seem like “who cares” to an American audience that is desensitized to everyone carrying around death machines, or it’s going to seem like the movie is making commentary directly on this fact–which it originally never meant to. And when a movie accidentally ignores an elephant in the room, that normally sinks the entire story because your audience can’t stop thinking about it. So as I see it, the show’s only possibility of it not sucking is to confront the problem head on. It will inevitably be compared to white terrorism. This is simply the life we’re living in the West, and it is not at all early 2000s Japan. It has to dig the knife deeper and make it a commentary directly on it, otherwise it will be guaranteed to be tonedeaf as all fuck.

“But I don’t want to watch a commentary on our shitty current events in this movie!” THAT’S TOTALLY FAIR. I would like to not be reminded of this shit either. But please acknowledge that deciding to release THIS PARTICULAR FRANCHISE in THIS PARTICULAR COUNTRY at THIS PARTICULAR MOMENT puts the writers between a rock and a hard place. There is NO WAY you can have the internet erupting in love for Kira like it does in the original and *NOT* think of how similar that is to life on the internet with the altright at this moment. It’s options are this, doing an exacting replica which will inevitably make it SUCK, or not doing it at all. And like I said, if not for people making transliterating compromises, we wouldn’t have Japanese Shakespeare. We wouldn’t have haiku in English. We wouldn’t have anime at all. So please don’t say the last option and not expect me to call you out on it. Stop implying that a fucking anime is Uniquely Untranslateable™ and we must treat it like a heavily indexed, dry-as-dirt work that we all study like goddamn Beowulf in a literature class, because that’s problematic as fuck.

Now, I didn’t think it would actually have the balls to do this possibility UNTIL I heard they had cast both Light and L. And L was played by a black man. That perfectly sets up the dichotomy for this–white terrorist shithead who thinks he should rule the world, black man protecting the good and the interests of everyone else. That could be why they were not accepting Asian actors for the two leads–they intentionally went with white for Light and black for L to make a point that specifically ties into the narrative(also this just so happens to both play into AND subvert the black-and-white aesthetic that Death Notes has going on).

That, and the fact that this is a Netflix series, NOT a movie. And not only does that give us more narrative room for depth than a movie, but Netflix can sometimes get it really right sometimes(and sometimes not, but like I said, I’m just giving it a shot–not saying it will be good).

This is important because relevant example: In the very back of my mind, I did admit to myself that it *might* be possible to make a Ghost In The Shell movie with a white actress work if you actually made the movie a critique of Whiteness and our technology–that she was originally Asian, but only white cyborg bodies exist because of the usual marketing speak that justifies racism in media, of just not testing and test-marketing on anyone who wasn’t white because they forgot other people exist, etc. But I didn’t even BOTHER to say that because I knew that the suits would rather strangle themselves with their own ties than allow precious run time in a big budget action movie to go to EMOTION and DEPTH and BACKSTORY. Ghost In The Shell was doomed the minute it was decided to be a big budget action movie–the suits won’t allow any risk to occur lest they lose money, so it inevitably ends up being a mediocre, paint-by-numbers story. Whitewashed!ScarJo was just adding dirt on top of the coffin. And SPOILER ALERT, Hollywood scrambled and got someone who actually knew what the fuck they were doing and ended up shoving JUST THAT TWIST into the movie, but because they had no run-time to actually devote to it and don’t actually give a damn about trying, it fell flat and failed, no shit. This interview with prominent Asian-American agrees–if Ghost went with its addition in a way that was genuine, it might have worked and been poignant, but it was the slapjob quickfix that would be expected so of course it wasn’t:

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/heat-vision/ghost-shell-4-japanese-actresses-dissect-movie-whitewashing-twist-990956?utm_source=twitter Netflix has the ROOM and ABILITY to go to the depth it needs to in order to make an effective cultural critique. And taking the “exacting translation” path, as I earlier went into, will only end in failure.

Now, WHETHER IT’S ACTUALLY GOING TO DO THIS *AND* DO IT EFFECTIVELY, I have no idea. It could do it for the same ol’ moneymaking reasons that made all the others shitty. It could do it exactly as I’ve laid out but do it inexpertly and ham-fisted, and so I will hate it. I don’t know. But because I see the possibility of it actually trying to salvage new meaning out of the situation, I will actually give it a shot. Also, please give a little bit more thought to people whose job it is to actually translate a work into another culture for everyone, holy shit, some of ya’ll act like everyone should have access and ability to subtitles and cultural research and that’s just not true. And they have to take that into account when they write. You can make the movie work with a white lead *if* it ties into a movie’s specific critique of whiteness. But that takes the stars aligning in the right ways, and we have at least a couple of them actually doing so. All of the technical details that could stop it from doing so have been taken away, as far as an outsider like me can see. Now I just have to cross my fingers the writers know what they’re doing and pray.

ALSO, THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE IN THIS GENERAL DISCUSSION OF THIS MOVIE THAT I NEED TO CALL THE FUCK OUT: If Light’s actions suddenly become disgusting to you because “ew now he’s just like every other white fuckboy” whereas before he WASN’T, you just might be fetishizing Asian men!!!! Light was always an absolute horrible human being and swooning over him meant you have always been swooning over a serial killer! If changing someone’s race suddenly makes someone killing a bunch of people and playing god easy to ignore for you, HOLY SHIT, you’re a fetishistic piece of shit! I’ve seen so many things going around saying x Asian actor could play Light, and the only reasons listed were Asianness and “how hot they are!!!!!” And absolutely no mention of past roles, acting ability, ANYTHING ELSE. JEEEEEEEESUS. Examine your actions! Also, as an aside, I threw this idea out there with some POC friends of mine, who overall said, “Okay, good point actually.” But they know me personally and that I’m not a Total White Shithead™, so your mileage may vary. Still, I welcome polite points and critiques. If there’s something I have overlooked addressing, hey, let me know, I want to learn.

TL;DR - I finally get to use both my majors in Sociology and English AND my minor in East Asian Studies on an opinion, hooray! Edit: Shit, I almost forgot--YA’LL! STOP ACTING LIKE JAPAN DOESN’T HAVE RACE ISSUES. Yeah, Light’s actions look pretty eugenics-y in an American setting, but that’s because you’re FAMILIAR with Western history of eugenics and not Japan’s. PEEP THIS SHIT OKAY: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eugenics_in_Japan GUESS WHAT, THERE ARE MINORITY GROUPS IN JAPAN THAT ARE OFTEN ALSO FUNNELED INTO ORGANIZED CRIME BECAUSE OF RACIST LACK OF OPPORTUNITY ELSEWHERE AND POLICE PREJUDICE--THE YAKUZA ARE SERIOUSLY MOSTLY BURAKUMIN AND ETHNIC KOREANS AT THIS POINT! IT’S JUST THAT JAPAN DOESN’T LIKE TO ACKNOWLEDGE FUCKING ANYTHING EVER

[honeybadgerradio]

Scaring Sons Into Suicide – Polecat Cast 115

Mattress Girl returns! Urban Dictionary! Wonder Woman! All this and more on this week’s Polecat Cast!

Show Notes:

Urban Warfare By Mike J.

Founded in 1999, the website Urban Dictionary has served as little more than a fun way to waste. The site allows users to add and define words or phrases, some of which more contemporary dictionaries wouldn’t dare touch. Other users then vote up or vote down these newly defined words with the highest voted ones winning the honor of being displayed more prominently than it’s rivals. Since it’s launch Urban Dictionary has become a good source for picking up cutting edge internet slang. At one point, IBM decided to upload the entire Urban Dictionary to their supercomputer Watson, but after the machine began swearing incessantly, the new lexicon was promptly removed. The Urban Dictionary has also become an unlikely battleground of sorts recently in the battle for men’s right’s. Several of the more controversial definitions such as misogynist, rape, feminism, and MRA have received popular definitions that many feminists do not approve of. It seems that not being content with ruining the Oxford English Dictionary, feminists have now set their sights on doing the same to the Urban Dictionary. But where it was much easier to make the Oxford English Dictionary kowtow with pressure from feminist in academia, the fight against Urban Dictionary won’t be that easily won.

Source: http://www.bodyforwife.com/mens-rights-activists-have-taken-over-urban-dictionary/ https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2013/01/ibms-watson-memorized-the-entire-urban-dictionary-then-his-overlords-had-to-delete-it/267047/ http://www.breitbart.com/london/2016/01/26/dictionarygate-twitter-feminists-force-dictionary-to-review-sexist-definitions-of-nag-and-bossy/

Rape Victims Shouldn’t Like to Relive Their Rapes By Max Derrat

More famously known as Mattress Girl, Sulkowicz is back in the news, topping her past maniacal exploits. Originally, Sulkowicz proclaimed she was raped to her University, and when they decided that the evidence was against her (not that there was a lack of evidence, but that the available evidence was AGAINST HER) she proceeded to carry around a mattress for her senior year as a form of art and a form of protest. Then she did a video re-enactment of her rape online, titled Ceci N’est Pas Un Viol (French for “this is not a rape).

Now, she’s doing BDSM as performance art. At the Elizabeth Foundation for the Arts Project Space, she presented a piece called “The Ship is Sinking”. She describes her piece in her own words: “[I chose] to have a white man tie me up while wearing a business suit with a Whitney necktie, while I wear a Whitney ISP thong bikini.” “We’re acting out this sadistic-masochistic relationship between the institution with all of its financial power, and this program that wants to be political but can be really because it’s being tied up by this institution.”

As her performance started, the aforementioned white man, named Master Avery (who happened to be a professional dominatrix), started to insult Sulkowicz by saying things like, “Your boobs are too small”, and “You can’t even stand up straight.” He tied knots around several parts of her body for 45 minutes until she was completely tied up to a large wooden beam. Using a pulley system attached to the ceiling, she was lifted from the ground, purposefully trying to resemble the woman often seen at the front of a ship.

Then Master Avery started hitting her with a belt. Avery at one point asked if anybody wanted to participate, and one man from the audience volunteered. He proceeded to slap her across the face.

In respect to the purpose of her performance art, Sulkowicz said the following: “Historically, performance art has been a very important medium for women of color and queer people. There’s an accessibility to it, it’s the only art form that doesn’t cost money. Then there’s also that women, people of color, queer people, we live embodied history.” “My body already carries material in it just because of the way I look, it’s embedded in my skin. White men have the privilege of entire institutions built for their paintings… these paintings are very often abstract. You have people like Pollock splattering a bunch of shit and then saying it’s art. It doesn’t say anything political and in fact, that actual political statement it does say is: ‘I’m a white man and I can do whatever the fuck I want and make a ton of money off of it.”

Source: https://broadly.vice.com/en_us/article/mattress-girl-emma-sulkowicz-is-backand-channeling-her-rage-through-bdsm

ENOUGH With This Wonder Woman Bullshit By Max Derrat

You know that really innocuous, unimportant women-only Wonder Woman screening thing? People are apparently still talking about it for some reason, and it’s mostly because people are making so much out of it, on both sides.

One of the people fanning the flames of this intense reaction is Heat Street writer Stephen Miller. He bought a ticket to this “women-only” screening at the Alamo Drafthouse in Brooklyn, New York, and posted a picture of his receipt on Twitter. He expressed a desire to not cause a scene, and replied the following to anybody expressing anger at his choice: “I’ll be enjoying the film with the ticket I purchased.” He also pointed out that kicking him out specifically on the grounds of sex or gender identity would be illegal. It doesn’t seem like Miller is doing this to make any positive statement. After all, in his Twitter feed, he constantly refers to the Wonder Woman movie as the “Chris Pine superhero movie.” To conclude, one Twitter user named @Bro_Pair wrote the following in response to this: “Some men lay down their lives battling white supremacists on the streets. Others demand admittance to the women-only Wonder Woman screening.” This is clearly in reference to last Friday’s Portland murders. The Daily Mail classified the murderer in this case as a self-avowed Nazi supporter, when minimal research concludes that any supposed ties to Nazi’s were disproven as false flags by the murderer to discredit Trump voters. Anybody else tired of this yet? Source: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4549842/Man-provokes-fury-ticket-women-WW-screening.html

Anti-Stealthing Law is Anti-Men By Mike J.

On May 16th, California assembly women Christina Garcia introduced a new rape law that would seek to punish the ill-defined and nearly unprovable act of “stealthing”. Stealthing, for those not in the know, is the act of intentionally removing or tampering with a condom during sexual intercourse. Stealthing, Christina Garcia argues, is just another form of rape. The problem with adding such a clearly flawed and biased addendum to the currently existing rape laws would be many. It would be very hard if not impossible to prove such a case as condoms can break due to improper usage or age. It creates the possibility for false allegations against men by women who have become pregnant by accident. It also says nothing on the topic of women who would tamper with contraceptives to become pregnant, despite a male sexual partners wishes. Assembly women Garcia is no stranger to pushing these ill-conceived amendments to current rape laws. In August of last year she helped pass an amendment that would make any form of an alleged non-consensual act be defined as rape. Sadly, this new law, like those before it, seems likely to pass given Governor Jerry Brown history with approving every new rape law amendment put through by congress.

Source: http://menslaws.com/index.php/2017/05/28/california-amend-rape-laws-target-men-stealthing/ https://a58.asmdc.org/press-releases/rape-definition-ca-include-stealthing http://leginfo.legislature.ca.gov/faces/billNavClient.xhtml?bill_id=201520160AB701

Scaring Sons Into Suicide By L Kemlo

An Illinois family is claiming a school discipline meeting scared their son into suicide. Corey Walgren, 16, jumped to his death in January, less than three hours after meeting with school officials and police at Naperville North High School.

The meeting was about an alleged cellphone recording of a consensual sexual encounter with a female classmate. Corey had no criminal history and had never been in serious trouble at school. Corey’s parents claim the school officials questioned him about “child pornography” and threatened to have him registered as a sex offender. According to the Chicago Tribune, Corey’s mother thinks the school wanted to scare him straight, “instead, they scared him to death.”

According to the Tribune it does not appear any pornographic images were found on the teen’s phone, but it did contain a file with audio of the sexual encounter. Apparently, the female classmate in the recording alleged that he may have played it for his friends. Records of the meeting show police did not intend to pursue charges, but wanted to handle the matter in a way that ensured Corey understood the seriousness of his actions and how it affected his classmate, who was described as “mortified” in the police report.

After the meeting, the school had contacted his mother but Corey left school grounds and walked to a nearby parking garage, where he jumped to his death. His parents plan to sue the school district and the police department.

Sources: http://nypost.com/2017/05/23/family-says-school-discipline-meeting-scared-son-into-committing-suicide/ http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/breaking/ct-naperville-north-suicide-20170522-story.html

Check out the latest Honeybadgers episode.