#also. the pattern I'm using is kinda shit

[maukuja]

Well. That looks a little sus still. But the body is done!

[shiori8]

Di Angelo Siblings

Sooo, to absolutely no one's surprise the new Percy Jackson reboot kicked me into full-blown pjo brainrot mode again lol. I saw these super cute fits and some vintage photos of Venice alleyways floating around on Pinterest and was consumed with the need to draw the Di Angelo siblings in them (it's probably wildly "historically and geographically" inaccurate for them, but we're just going to have to deal with the fact that I'm dumb and uncultured xD It's the vibes™ that count, okay!)

Psst, wanna see something cringe😂? Found this old sketch of them from one of my first forays into digital art years ago:

And to quote past-me "I can barely look at the old one, but at least that means I improved, aye?"😂

[buysomecheese]

It's fucked up that barely anything has changed yet I feel so guilty

[intromortal]

⭑ INCH BY INCH ⸻ park sunghoon ◜teaser◞

OUT NOW: read here

you have a boyfriend gifted with a pornstar cock, but he refuses to use it on you, too scared he'll end up hurting you. so your best shot is to devise a plan to get him to crumble, and even if things don't unfold quite as expected, what matters is the result anyway... right?

starring ⋆ f!reader x park sunghoon

this work contains ⋆ smut, minors so not interact. multiple smut scenes, sunghoon being diabolically hung, my extremely poor attempts at humor, besties jaykewon, established relationship, nasty nasty shit... brat tamer sunghoon sorta kinda, some degradation but nothing crazy (i think. maybe i'm just a freak), alcohol consumption, implied driving under the influence, jealousy, slutshaming (not from hoon), a tiny bit if violence, blood, injury, and patching up said injury :3 ⸻ rules m.list

length ⋆ teaser ⸻ 1.2k words. full fic ⸻ around 15k words. hopefully less but it's me so :p

taglist ⋆ (closed!) either comment here or send me an ask! please make sure to have a visible age somewhere or i won't be able to add you.

"I just don't get why he won't stick it in me."

"You have such a way with words."

You throw a fry at your best friend, only to get more irritated when he catches it midair with his mouth. Jungwon chews it loudly with his mouth open—because he knows it annoys you to death—then washes it down with his coconut milkshake that he won't let you get a sip of because 'using the same straw as me counts as cheating now that you're dating Sunghoon'.

"Okay but why? You're a man. What's the thought process behind this? Tell me."

"Girl, it's your boyfriend. You tell me."

"What if he doesn't fine me att—" A fry hits you right on your forehead, and it's like the impact activates your brain cells, because of course Sunghoon finds you attractive, that is not the problem.

"Now, let's be honest with ourselves please. None of that shit."

Your back hits the bed with a soft thud, arms spread out as you stare at the very familiar ceiling of your room. A sight you've been taking in quite often recently, while trying to come up with a plan to get Sunghoon to dick you down good.

Jungwon shoves a fist of fries in his mouth, barely chewing before speaking again. "I don't get why it's such a big deal."

You roll onto your side, facing the blonde little gremlin occupying the space next to you. "It's a big deal because— why is your ass on my pillow. Jungwon get—"

He silences you by feeding you a handful of fries from the container on his lap. "You were saying?"

You gulp them down quickly before replying, because you're civilized enough to do so, unlike someone else. "We've done it all, and I know he's scared of hurting me, but I can also tell he's holding back. I'm ready– I've been ready. It's just… whenever I think it's gonna happen he pulls back so suddenly, like he's restraining himself."

"Mhh… you've talked to him about this, right?" Jungwon looks at you in a way that feels entirely too judgmental, like skipping the communication part is something you do often enough for it to be a pattern. Something he needs to check off of a list before he gives you more advice.

He's not completely wrong. As in, at one point in your life you had made an habit out of assuming people's thoughts and intentions, but that is in the past. And those people are not your Park Sunghoon.

[...]

"Of course I have."

"And?"

"Won, he just tells me I need more prep. I've had plenty of that, trust me. Like, he's spent the last month using this toy on—"

"Okay, okay I get it. I trust you, spare me the details."

"—Point is, I'm more than ready. I know it's gonna be uncomfortable and a bit painful at first, he's like… so huge it's—"

"I get it."

"—but that's a given with how big he is. I think it's just… him being nervous, really."

"Have you… tried to, uhm. Take charge? Maybe you calling the shots would make it easier for him to let loose." Jungwon looks down on his lap as he plays with the rings adorning his fingers.

You wouldn't say he has ever been particularly shy per se, not when it comes to discussing your sexual life, even in heavy detail. He was the boy your mother made you take a bath with after a whole day of rolling around in dirt as a kid, because his wasn't around a lot of the time. The same boy who has seen you toothless and with horrible haircuts, who has seen all your embarrassing phases.

Talking to Jungwon was much more akin to talking to yourself rather than venting to a diary, because he stored secrets in his heart that you would never be comfortable writing down on paper. Except he also calls you a dumbass when he needs to.

It's been a little different ever since you started dating Sunghoon freshly out of college, but you imagine it can't be helped since Jungwon has known both of you all his life.

You take a deep breath, shoulders slumping with the motion. Yeah, like that would ever work. "He doesn't give up dominance ever, really. I have tried a few times but…" you trail off, thoughts suddenly plagued with images of Sunghoon putting you back in your place instantly whenever you tried to take charge.

You have already given it some thought, a lot of thought, actually. What wouldn't you do to have Sunghoon under you and at your mercy, so responsive to every touch, perhaps even tied down. Yeah, you're gonna have to bring it up more seriously to him, maybe then he would let you—

"Are you seriously fantasizing about dominating your boyfriend right in front of my cheddar fries?"

But you're gonna continue that thought another time.

"Let's see then…" Jungwon continues, evidently determined to find a solution to your problem. "Maybe act out? Would that work? Mhhh… I don't know, you're already very annoying day to day and he puts up with that…so."

Jungwon genuinely looks like he is putting so much thought into it, somehow it makes it more offensive.

"Yeah. And who grew up next to him? You. Exactly. You trained his patience, if anything," you retort, but Jungwon doesn't even give you the satisfaction of acknowledging it, because you both know that you do love to be a nuisance to your boyfriend whenever you get the chance.

"Wait." Jungwon perks up after a seconds of deep thought, making the plushies on your bed fall on the floor, but the situation is so dire that you don't scold him. Instead, you cast a hopeful glance in his direction. Please let his brain cells work for once in his life.

"Isn't Hoon like, terribly jealous every time someone brings up that time you and Jay dated in high school?"

The cogs in your brain turn, and if someone was to walk into the room at that moment they would be able to smell the fumes coming out of your and Jungwon's head.

Jungwon continues, though he doesn't need to, because you have caught what he is hinting to already. "You need him to snap? What better reason to if not some good ol' jealousy. Am I right?"

But of course he is, that little gremlin genius.

"And, it just happens that a few high school acquaintances are organizing a get together soon. You know people will bring up you and Jay, just drag Hoon along. It's fate."

"Have I ever told you that you're my bestest friend ever and that I owe you my life, Won?"

[bombuni]

Did.... did you say stuck-porn scenario San?? I'm gonna need that asap please👀 your writing is so yummylicious it's not even funny

rock & a hard place

summary: your roommate lends a helping hand. genre/pairing: roommate!san x fem!reader warnings: smut 18+ mdni, softdom!san x reader, unwanted creampie, kinda size kink, slight dubcon, so pls read with caution :) bom note: me writing jongho smut after jongho smut and forcing myself to write other member smut - i can’t put down the cup, i can’t put down the cup💔💔

You��re humiliated.

You’re not sure how you managed to fit your entire front half into the dryer, but the panic inside you is rising with every second that passes. The confined space of the machine is only making it worse as you try to fight your way out. Seriously, you swore this was only something that happens in porn.

You can’t even reach your phone. The last resort, the most embarrassing one, is to call your roommate.

Your voice is quiet at first, embarrassment shrouding your entirety. San is an understanding sweetheart, you know that, but he is unfortunately also one of the most handsome men you’ve seen. To have him seeing you like this, with practically naked in just your panties and bent over is what the kids call ‘an aura-loss.’

He comes running the second time you call for him, hearing the panic in your voice, “Are yo-ah.”

San covers his eyes at first, taken aback by the sight of your naked body. Even though you can’t see him gawking, he still feels too awkward to do it unashamedly. Your little plump ass is literally on display for him, in your adorable Hello Kitty patterned panties, and he can’t help it when his face sets on fire. Or when his shorts grow tight.

Hearing the realization in his voice only makes you want to disappear even more, “I’m so sorry, San, I was just getting my clothes. I don’t know how I got stuck.”

He’s still frozen in place and scared to touch you, “Don’t be sorry. I’m just-uhh. How do you want me to get you…out?”

San tries to psych himself up behind you, softly slapping himself as if that’ll get rid of his raging boner. He can’t rip his eyes away from your ass.

“Just-do what you need to, San.”

With your permission, San grabs your hips firmly. His hands send electrifying tingles throughout your body, but you have no choice but to ignore it. You don’t realize that San is fighting the same urge behind you, squeezing your hips and caressing your skin under the pretense that he’s finding a better grip. He never noticed how soft your skin is until now.

He pulls once, to no avail. The second time, he accidentally bumps against you with the force he uses. San mutters out a swear at the feeling, almost cumming right then and there. His hard-on isn’t helping, with every little inch he moves he’s in jeopardy of letting you know how hard he is.

But, he can’t help himself. You’re just so tempting, if anything it’s your fault for walking around like this. He rubs himself once on you, playing it off as an accidental touch, but he immediately needs more once he feels you. He’s dizzy with need, dizzy with you, and he just can’t resist the climbing urge he’s feeling to seize this opportunity you’ve presented him with.

San keens over, leaning onto the dryer in front of him, “Sh-shit,”

You feel him. You feel his desperate cock, his hot breath against your back, and the growing heat of his entire body. He feels your body shudder at the size of his bulge as it presses against you and he can’t help but think that maybe you want this just as bad as he does.

San tentatively inserts his fingers under the band of your panties, “Just-need better grip-hah-okay?”

“W-wait, San!”

He pulls your underwear off with one swift tug, groaning when he sees your slick glistening in the dim light. You’re shaking and he can’t help but find your little pathetic pleads adorable.

“You won’t get out of here until I help. So just let me help you, okay?”

He sounds so beautiful when he’s desperate and needy, and there’s really nothing you can do but submit to him. You don’t have time to react before you feel the cold metal of his rings rubbing through your folds. You hear his breathy moans as he continues exploring you, feel his shaky fingers trying their hardest to hold back. His other hand struggles to hurriedly get himself out of his sweatpants, already leaking and tip red with need. You suddenly feel San’s lips on the small of your back. A kind warning kiss, you fear, for what’s to come.

He whispers gently, as if trying not to scare you off, “You just can’t be walking around like this and expect not to be fucked, baby,”

The sound of his soft, gentle voice is like a key to your soul. You reply just as gently, “I know, Sannie, ‘m sorry…”

He drags his cock over your folds, surprising you. You can’t see what he’s doing, so every time he touches you it’s a complete shock to your senses. He seems to enjoy your little shivers and nervous shakes. He likes to see how vulnerable you are, how he’s in complete control of you and everything that’s happening to you. San keeps dragging himself between you, collecting your juices on himself.

He seems to drown in this feeling, swallowing every quiet whine you give and using it to fuel his domineering air, “Really, you did this on purpose-shit-just to get me to fuck your brains out. Why didn’t you just ask, dolly?”

“It wasn’t on purpose…”

“So cute. Your little, wet pussy is dripping, baby. You like this, don’t you? You like it when I force you to get fucked?”

San doesn’t even give you the chance to respond before sliding his cock inside of you. He shushes you when you complain, holding your arms back and still so you don’t hurt yourself. Although he likes watching your little shakes of defiance, how adorably useless you are against him. He soothes you through the stretch of him, groaning alongside your whines as he feels you suck him in.

He bottoms out, whining as you clench around his length, “No, no, dolly, quit that. I’ll cum in your tiny pussy, we don’t want that, do we?”

You aggressively shake your head as San starts to fuck you, all caution thrown to the wind with his harsh thrusts. You’re embarrassed by your loud squelching, but you hardly have time to think about that with San’s length hitting practically every inch of your insides. His moans are adorably whiny, breathy as the barely-there restraint leaves his body and he fucks you with even more vigor. He’s spurred on by the feeling of your tiny body against his, your pathetic attempts of freeing yourself only adding to his pleasure.

“Hah-you’re so tight, sweetheart. I really can’t help myself, might have to claim you forever,”

“S-sannie, no, I said no-“

He’s rabid in his taking of you, holding your wrists tight as he grows closer to the edge, “Oh, god, you’re so cute, this tiny, little pussy’s gonna be mine forever-“

“San!”

San holds your hips tight, fingernails digging into your skin and moaning sweetly as he pulls you into him, his cum flowing freely inside you. He pulls so hard in the haze of his orgasm that your entire body falls back with the force and onto him.

He’s still in the throes of his orgasm, yelping as you fall onto him and he lands on the floor. It’s cold against his ass cheeks, and he’s blushing hard once the post-nut realization hits that he came so hard he managed to pop you out. San decides this is probably on his list of worst orgasms.

Your face is flushed as you turn to him, “That’s what you get for cumming inside.”

He has the decency to look sheepish, “Sorry…”

[solemnsic]

frank castle + braiding hair...ok i'm sick. (also, sorry for being inactive! work is sickening.)

the first time frank met you, you had french braids in your hair. at first, it almost made him want to puke. reminded him too much of lisa, of how his wife used to braid those intricate designs into his baby girls hair. he could never get the hang of it, no matter how much lisa begged.

when you both started dating, he had to get used to seeing braids in your hair. you always wanted your hair out of your face, and you were damn good at those crazy patterns that were all too familiar to him. he started seeing it as a comfort rather than a reminder of his tragic past.

it was a lazy saturday night when you first asked. your back pressed to his firm chest, his arms resting comfortably around your waist and hands settling on your stomach. your hair was down, and he occasionally buried his nose in it as you watched the mindless movie on the screen in front of you both. he was too distracted.

you had slightly turned your body, lazy eyes looking up at him. he could see the tiredness churning in them, and it made him want to scoop you up and carry you to bed. among other things. your lips parted, and slurred words tumbled out, along with a yawn.

"will you braid my hair?" you had asked softly. he felt his heart skip a beat almost. he knew that you could do it yourself, but you were so tired...

"m'not sure i know how to, sweetheart." he mumbled out, voice low and vibrating in his chest, which vibrated your back in return.

it was the truth. it was the same question he used to receive from lisa, and he could never please her with his answer. 'course, he had never really tried. if maria could do it flawlessly, why would he need to learn how? he was away too often, and there were much better ways to spend his time when he was home. besides, he was good at a ponytail or pigtails.

you pouted at his answer and he was sure his heart was going to break at the sight. with a huff of his chest, and a small roll of his eyes, he grabbed your hips and positioned you better in his lap, making sure he had enough room to at least attempt this.

"so needy." he chastised, but there was no real annoyance in his voice, just fond tenderness. one of the only things his body was capable of feeling for you. "no whining if it looks like shit, y'got that?"

and with that eager nod of your head, he began. the lamp in your living room provided a soft glow, but he still had to squint his eyes slightly as he started sectioning off pieces. once he was somewhat satisfied, he began to cross the pieces over one another. he groaned when he messed up or pieces got tangled.

"fingers are too damn thick for this." he grumbled out. he felt you shiver, just slightly. he chuckled, knowing exactly what you must be thinking about. it took everything in him not to call you a dirty girl.

once his fingers began to twitch and ache more than normal, he finished the braid off. there was still a lot of hair left, but god, he couldn't do it. he grabbed the hair tie from your wrist and tied it off, patting your hip to signal he was done. you practically jumped off his lap, all the tiredness gone as you skipped to your bathroom.

he followed behind you, hands tucked into his jeans pockets as he watched you examine the poorly done braid. so much hair was falling out, and it was finished too early. he cleared his throat and looked down, suddenly feeling embarrassed. he had wanted to do it right. really, he had.

"m'not the best at those kinda things, ya know? not my speciality braiding girls hair...or any hair..." he trailed off, eyes still downcast to the tiles of your bathroom floor.

he was shocked when he felt your lips against his cheek. soft and warm, slightly wet. he lifted his head to see your tender smile, the way you rocked back and forth on your heels. it made him want to smile. but he felt like he didn't deserve to right now, even if he had tried his best. maybe if he had practiced with lisa...

"it's perfect, frank. i love it. thank you." you cut off his train of thought with those soft words. he had no idea why he thought you would be upset. it's you. his girl. he breathed out a sigh of relief.

[zoieru]

Weirdly specific headcanons about the bluelock boys and your scrunchie ~

Bachira, Rin, Nagi, Isagi, and Kaiser (+ shidou cameo >:3) - aged up - a sprinkle of suggestive (rin + shidou), and a pinch of ouchie (kaiser) ♡ - you're at the pre-relationship, kinda crushy friendship stage.

Bachira - he gets super excited, what doesn't get this lil goobie hyped? He gets his hands on it probably when you did skin care or face masks together and left it in his stuff or something, and just he decides to put it on his wrist himself.

He totally wants matching ones, patterned ones, get him or you a dolphin one and he will cling to you for approximately 5hours and 43minutes (he told me). Actually uses it to put his hair bangs up for when he washes his face til you get him a headband like your one.

When you ask for it to use, he won't let you take it but just naturally go behind you and tie your hair himself. He's good at it ♡ I love him

Rin - he'll blink and subtly cock an eyebrow at you when you ask him and hold it out. He won't say much, but in his head a part of him did go... 'but I'm a boy o.O'.

He will take it and wear it, though, you probably having to put it on his wrist, fidgeting with it because he's not used to feeling of it there at first. If you catch him fidgeting with it, and you ask him if it's bothering him or he wants you to have it back, he refuses to give it back. (Lil shit ♡)

He starts to like it, running his fingers over the fabric a little absentmindedly sometimes. If one of the boys asks about it he goes a bit pink and grumpy, probably bluntly and briefly describing their violent downfall by his hand !! Puts it safely in bag when playing so he doesn't lose or sweat on it, and it's the first thing he picks up and puts back on after his water bottle (stay hydrated Rin cutie ♡)

It makes him feel all warm and fuzzy when you take it off him to use, and his cheeks did noT GO PINK HE'LL KILL Y-

He also keeps it around the wide portion of his hand when he jerks off thinking about you 😌 nodders, yes yes ( I read his diary )

Nagi - does not register. This boy is the 404 not found page in real life ♡ I aspire to be this nonchalant. Only once it's on he's like... Oh, Okay. Sure. And be only registers potential meanings and 'claiming' sort of implications of it when someone points it out to tease him, hopefully for your sake not in front of Reo or he'll kick your ass.

Then he's a bit blushy and awkward, but mostly a touch confused. He keeps trying to work out whether that is what you meant by it, or whether it was just the boys being stupid. So he's a bit quiet when around you later, like he has something on his mind, which is unusual, to which he's then like:

... Why you give me this?

And when you apologise or go to take it back he's like -_- no. It's mine now and if anything happens to it I will kill everyone in this room and then lie down on my bed on my phone :) (nagoat, am I right)

Isagi - goes red. Instantly. Turns around, hand to neck, laughing breathlessly.

'oh ha, yeah of course! it's heh... it's just...yknow, I'm a boy~'

That's not the reason. It's because holy shit that's so cute you're so cute it's so... Hopefully he didn't pass out.

Later he smiles at it when he sees it, fiddles with it a lot. Its so hot he has something of yours and you wanted to give it to him :3 Bachira takes it and he goes to argue but Bachira just puts it in Isagi's hair like a floof unicorn horn -_- he just loves you hah.

Is super sad when you take it to use, although simultaneously super happy and pleased to have been helpful, but will not admit it. 'yeah, ha, it's okay! If...you need me to take it again just, let me know!' let him know. LET HIM KNO- You get extra so he can always have one.

Kaiser - is like o.0, says he's 'pretty enough as is~'. You say it brings out his eyes, it's blue, coincidentally. He falters and is like... Ha, tch, whatever sweet-cheeks.

Totally fiddles with it in his fingers a lot while thinking, or reading. I feel like he's a stimmer? Anyone? Yes that's right the crowd cheered I heard it. He also finds himself zoning out a bit while looking at it and fiddling, a distant kinda look passing over his eyes before someone snaps him out of it.

The whole thing makes him jolt a bit like... why am I being passively helpful? What even is this anyway. Am bad guy, remember? But, at the same time, he doesn't want to take it off and give it back either. Having it makes him feel a bit funny inside, it's like...an easy way to feel nice, exchanging a positive interaction, without direct contact, or pleasantries.

Finds himself washing his face and then pausing...eyes flicking to it, and then uses it to tie his hair from his face. Smirks when you come to him and ask him for it, his lil heart swelling a bit behind the snark 'mmh, at your service, anything else?~'. Though he does notice it's absence when he goes to fiddle and there's nothing on his wrist.

(the court mandates that you get him one to always wear now :) if I see so much of a frown on this man's face I will-)

Shidou - puts it on his dick :)

[asleepinawell]

in the same vein, one of the other things that differentiates garrett from your typical chosen one hero is the fact that although he gets embroiled in the plots of the wealthy and powerful, he never becomes part of that world and barely interacts with it. nor does he change the status quo of the wealth disparity in the city. he is just a little guy

the main antagonists of the first two games are both wealthy. constantine, despite being one of the pagans, lives in a giant mansion full of guards and has enough wealth that he doesn't mind garrett looting a bit. karras builds a giant metal palace in the city and uses poor people in his experiments. garrett thwarts both their plans, but it doesn't impact the huge class divide at all. these were just two rich dudes having their weird rich dude tantrums and everything moves on as it always has with them gone. there are plenty more where they came from. most citizens still live in tiny houses with torches while the nobles have electricity and a dozen half empty rooms with no purpose in their giant mansions. garrett has a small apartment in the poorest part of the city and struggles to pay rent

garrett is not out there striking a blow in the class war so much as being forced to bail out everyone from the mess caused by the rich people. the keepers act like this is some sacred duty but like... no the weird rich death cults are more or less just the end result of having a ludicrously rich noble class full of self-important nut jobs with too much time and disposable wealth. no wonder garrett is so disgusted with getting dragged into this shit. once again the poor people are left to try and clean up the mess made by the rich people and resigned to inevitably have to do it over and over

garrett isn't a hero in these terms. he's a janitor

garrett, the main character of the thief trilogy, is such a funny version of the chosen one trope. he's in all the prophecies and central to stopping all the big almost-apocalypses but he never attains notoriety or power. by deadly shadows he'd saved the world twice and no one gives a fuck. almost no one knows. guards try to murder him on the street for being a petty criminal. pedestrians shoulder check him and call him a loser

he's a reclusive loner who never gets a plucky band of comrades. he has no friends. his fences betray him. the only person who ever really works with him or shows him any respect is viktoria (in metal age) who had previously betrayed him and ripped his eye out (builder forbid women do anything)

he complains about being swept up in apocalyptic events non stop and not in a reluctant hero or 'woe is my heavy burden of duty' way, but just kinda bitches and moans about it while doing it anyway. even when he gives in and commits to helping his general vibe is "is this what we're doing now? okay" and his goal seems to be getting it over with so he can get on with his life

in the third game he finds a journal written about the downfall of the previous game's antagonist whom he destroyed (with the help of viktoria who really hard carried that mission with the treepocalypse thing and spare supplies while garrett spent 3 hours sitting on ledges waiting for twenty angry robots to de-aggro), and it attributes the victory to a religious cult's god

the handful of people who know what he did think he's a loser. and he IS a loser (affectionate) who thinks he's so cool and makes snarky quips to himself out loud while attempting to be stealthy. he is only one step removed from the kronk stealth scene in the emperor's new groove

he still can't pay his rent

[mymoshangthoughts]

cumplane thoughts: (lots of nsfw LOL)

airplane in shen yuan's lap, cockwarming for him while he writes and shen yuan looks over his shoulder, sharply criticizing his writing

shen yuan using his advanced knowledge of pidw to wifeplot the fuck out of airplane (its not his fault that airplane doesnt remember that flower is an aphrodisiac or this cave is the "ohno now we have to get married!" cave. really, it was irresponsible of airplane to forget such things and this was the forgone conclusion of that hack author being so forgetful)

cucumber and airplane being enemies online, but crushing on each other irl without knowing about the online handles (classmates? workmates? that cute guy i see on the train?)

shen twins au where shen yuan notices that disciple shang is kinda sus and investigates (thinking that its bc of the mobei jun thing and now that he's grown up in this world he's sort of invested in NOT having demons attack his sect-mates), but the more he gets to know the skittish disciple, the more he's sorta catching feelings and this is a problem! bc shang qinghua is gonna be a traitor! ....but is he really? sure, qinghua is a lil asshole, but he's not really the bloodthirsty type? maybe with some proper guidance from his shixiong he'll turn out better? no, jiu-ge, i am not being naive and no i dont think my dick cures evil, its not like that! it's just that--why are you calling him my boyfriend?! I SAID IT'S NOT LIKE THAT, JIU-GE!

cumplane frenemies since their school days and current roommates. shen "i'm not gay so the sex isnt gay" yuan and shang "you're not fooling anyone but sure" qinghua. they're just 'friends' according to shen yuan. it's 'no homo sex' apparently. shang qinghua is fine with this, he is, his stupid boyfriend might have the most internalized homophobia in the world but like... they live together and shen yuan is mostly nice to him and they've been together for years and this is something real, right? except shen yuan's mom starts pressuring him to "finally settle down and marry a nice girl" so shen yuan is talking about it and the sinking realization finally hits shang qinghua that shen yuan never really considered their relationship to be a real thing. thats... fine... this is fine... he'll be fine. he is not fine. nope. not one bit. and he is not gonna be the bigger man about this. fuck. no. he is absolutely going to fucking destroy that stupid piece of shit EX boyfriend who never deserved him!! he is going to avenge himself and ruin shen yuan's life and he is going to be super shitty about it! but first, he's going to run away from home and cry with a tub of ice-cream bc wow that is the most painful breakup he's ever had haha. except after shang qinghua disappears and leaves behind a "fuck you, i want a divorce" note, shen yuan looks for him and asks friends and gets dressed down for being an idiot and also realizes oh fuck he actually totally was in love with his not-boyfriend and now he has to win back a very vengeful and very bitter shang qinghua, who also knows all of his weaknesses and darkest secrets

cumplane sex where cucumber is struggling to comprehend just how fucking shameless airplane is. that man can ride his dick while moaning pathetically and then still look cucumber in the face and smile while asking for round five and cucumber knew that airplane wrote porn, cucumber READ that porn, but nothing quite prepared him for just how horny and sexually expressive airplane is. SHEN YUAN'S THIN FACE WAS NOT READY FOR THIS SHIT

shang twins au: the shang twins have been pretending to be one person, for vaguely evil reasons, and shen yuan notices solely bc he Is A Very Observant and Smart Person and it's not at all because he's memorized the pattern of airplane's freckles or anything gay like that, nope, that's not it at all!

cucumber starts talking to one of airplanes various troll alts that he uses to stir up drama and airplane replies, fully intending to further agitate one of his loudest anti-fans except.... they just kinda... keep talking? and airplane is really enjoying himself? and they're taking it to the dms and now they're kinda friends and shit, it's bad if cucumber finds out he's airplane, right? the entire basis of their friendship is a lie then. which is totally fine, haha, this friendship prolly won't last long. except it totally does and now theres like irl meetings and cucumber is Fucking Handsome and that isn't fair AT ALL bc now airplane has a crush on his (best??)friend and ohwow, cucumber can srsly NEVER learn abt his identity as the author. cucumber is a super bitter and grudge holding person but also he HATES the author and airplane rreeeallly likes having someone who kinda likes him in his life aND OHFUCK IS THAT CUCUMBER LOOKING AT HIS PHONE!?

shen yuan making airplane endure Every Single sex position that he wrote those poor wives in the harem having to endure. partially to make a point of "that CANT be possible", partially bc he's still annoyed at the hack writing, and partially bc it's rrreeeeeaallly nice to see airplane fucked out of his mind like that

airplane accidentally wife-plots himself and cucumber is a good bro about it and fucks away the fuck-or-die pollen. except now he's accidentally gotten airplane addicted to his dick??? bc now airplane is seeking him out constantly. was there something else in that fuck-or-die pollen? bc airplane is acting weird. was there some freaky love potion or something? ahh, it's really hard to think of the answer when he wakes up to the peak lord of an ding sucking his dick

airplane accidentally gets transformed into a magical beast and before he can find his way back to humanity, he gets beaten up and hauled off by liu qingge to be presented as a gift to shen yuan. which oki, fine, maybe he can communicate to his bro. but shen yuan is really nice to him when he's in this form (like a hamster monster) and wow, he never knew how much he really liked shen yuan being nice to him??? maybe he should just let it be for a bit longer??

shen yuan, recently trasnmigrated into the body of an ice demon, does not know what to do about the sobbing an ding disciple clinging to his thigh and begging for his life (bc i refuse to kill off mobei jun, this is a body swap au and now mobei jun has to live in modern day china as shen yuan LOL)

cucumber decides that he likes airplane best when he's too fucked out of his mind to keep talking shit. also, on a related note, airplane decides he likes when cucumber talks shit when they're in bed the most. does he have a degradation kink? he might have a degradation kink.

sugar baby airplane and his very grumpy sugar daddy shen yuan. yes, airplane is spoiled rotten, but he also has a strict writing schedule and his harshest critic tormenting him in bed. but ohwell, shen yuan also nags him to eat properly and makes sure that he does and the kitchen is always stocked and sometimes shen yuan just pulls him into a hug and rests his chin against airplane's head and yeah, he can live with sometimes getting fucked while cucumber growls in his ear "that was a shit chapter, you completely forgot the continuity from chapter 24 and now you created a big stupid plothole with the most interesting monster you made--". its a good life

airplane first meets shen yuan as a coworker. he's a rich trust-fund baby type who has impeccable fashion and a poser attitude. clearly a thin face and probably boring as fuck. airplane meets shen yuan for the second time at a convention while signing autographs, dressed in binghe-merch and clearly Way Too Invested. and airplane immediately thinks the gap moe is AMAZING. he's gonna have so much fucking fun with this. especially since airplane was wearing cosplay and his coworker didn't recognize him >:D

[faineantgrl]

roaring knight character analysis

note: i will try to use they due to the fact we do not know the character yet, but i will be using "she" to break up any repetitiveness. at the end i will be talking about why this all points away from carol but i will not implicate anyone else.

video sources: x x x

we're going to skip over chapter 1 and 2 mentions & before tenna's destruction because ngl I don't think they're very important to this specific analysis i'm doing. that would moreso be plot/intentions and i want to analyze the knight themself.

Pre-CHP3 battle

so already just the way that tenna is sliced is interesting.

as others have pointed out, this is nigh impossible of a pose. so either the roaring knight somehow perfectly hit tenna whilst facing the other way, or hit tenna, then turned around to strike a foreboding pose. either way, we have already been given a flare for the dramatic.

they then hit this pose. now i've heard it's crying but when they're turning into this pose they're seen smiling for a few frames.

so, if they are doing some sort of crying thing, it's definitely on purpose to creep out the lightners more.

im not gonna flood this with screenshots but susie interrupts them trying to take toriel. they back off, but as seen in later chapters, and even later on in the boss fight, they didn't really have a reason to. they could have just blasted susie or something.

then they do Whatever This Is. if we didnt already establish the above you'd think this means they're Pissed, but the lightners aren't really a threat. they never do this again so it seems... it's just to freak out the lightners again.

Non-attack options

any action that is done to try and talk to the roaring knight does, essentially, Jack Shit. the roaring knight does not respond. i do not think this means the knight doesn't care to, as shown above they LOVE being a Freak, but rather that they... kinda can't! this should be kept in mind as we continue.

the everything else in battle

during the attack where the knight splits the Battle Box™️ they continue to strike poses

and then theres this attack

which i can only describe as Entirely Unnecessary. theres leftover code for more combination attacks like these which i can only imagine were left out because they were a little too batshit crazy to survive.

they also overkill the characters, up to -999 hp. you simply just don't gotta do that, mx knight.

and then...

they do. That.

"KB, didn't you just say they don't do the weird body contortion thing again-" yeah! they didn't! if you look closely That Is An Entirely Different Form Than Before (mostly in the "ribs")

and that final dramatic flair! they're not just putting on their best performance for the lightners, but you too!

and then they go "ougofhf... im so Weak,,,,,, you should HIT ME. it would be REALLY BAD if you HIT ME"

"oh no im dyingggg oh gosh-"

"-SIKE."

susie here makes a mistake of falling AGAIN for it

and then gets hit SO HARD that there isn't even an animation

then they get ralsei

and then we get darkness before seeing them "knighting" kris

this change in the pattern intentionally tricks the player into thinking "oh well they're not going to kill kris, maybe they're working togeth-"

SIKE AGAIN

i cannot express to you how funny it is in retrospect how many times the roaring knight tricks the player in one cutscene. like, they know exactly how the player is seeing everything and is using that to not only be super dramatic but to trick them several times IN A ROWWW thats CRAZY

once again we have another moment of the knight letting susie interrupt for unknown reasons. not only is my girl not a threat to the knight normally but she is DOOOWN. either the knight is trying to once again trick the viewer or she has a soft spot for susie. i mean who can blame her everyone does

and now here's her perfectly dodging attacks to show how much of a farce that battle was

and then the roaring knight turns into a bird. i dont know what thats about im not going to lie.

CHP3 conclusion

in conclusion of chapter 3: the knight is a dramatic af trickster who loves a good pose. not only are they putting on a show for the lightners, they're also putting on a show for the player. i almost wonder if they were spending all of chapter 3 getting antsy like "i gotta. i gotta get my freak on. whats taking so long i need to get silly with it"

CHP4 first cutscene

they are, quite literally, waiting for the player. theyve just been standing her this whole time, presumably.

their mouth turns into an eye because of course it does

and then they do THIS. which is entirely unnecessary. as i've said many times.

also note the change in color: before their overlay light thing was pink, but now its red. either they decided pink wasn't threatening enough, or thought pink overlay on blue wasn't gonna fly, and either of these show just how much WORK they put into the act.

and they also just attack susie here for fun i guess since she doesn't actually get downed

and once again they're on that PLAYER TRICKING GRIND

one sword at a time, even if fast, is possible to deal with

nevermind.

the knight also tricks the lightners and player AGAIN because they actually made TWO DARK WORLDS in the church and put a LOCK on the DOOR. IDIOT.

this is also an important moment for the knight's character. it seems they were entirely not planning to make the titan until susie says this. this is SO EXTREMELY PETTY. it's SASSY. it's FABULOUS.

they literally smirk and wait for ralsei to BEG like a cat about to push an item off a counter, waiting for their owner to get upset about the incoming doom before actually doing it.

ive also heard that the titan battle is harder if you end up defeating the roaring knight in chapter 3. the pettiness. the trickery. i literally have no choice but to stan etc etc

IN CONCLUSION

this roaring knight is a DIVA. she is WORKING IT. they are SASSY, DRAMATIC, A TRICKSTER, AND PETTY. they are PERFECT.

...that's also why it can't be carol. carol is the literal antithesis to whatever THIS is. she is no fun allowed. and there is only fun in the roaring knight's ball-court. carol is the harshness of a deadly winter storm, the roaring knight is the snow day spent throwing snowballs at your friends.

minnesota girl i'm incomprehensible daisy dukes winter coat on top ice-kissed skin so cold i'll freeze your popsickle oh woaoaooa oh woahahahah

[lollibumblebee]

Could you please do a minho x reader one🙏🙏🙏 where the reader goes to like help out in the maze without minho knowing, and then they had a bit of an argument about it in the map room🙈🙈 then minho likes grabs her and puts her on the table knowing it'll shut her up🙉🙈🙊 I KEPT THINKING ABOUT IT AND BSOQNSOA I REALLY WANT YOU TO MAKE IT😭😭😭 THANK YOU SO MUCH

OMFG, YES, SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG. I FORGOT WHERE THE ASKS WERE LMAOOO

Eyes on me - minho x female reader

Warnings: kinda suggestive no smut tho

Y/n wakes up in the glade one sunny morning, with a mission, a plan if you will. Her plan was actually set up by her and newt last night, the grand scheme was that she would go with alby into the maze to help, just for one day, since minho always threw a hissy fit when y/n was in slight possible danger, and she had been wanting to go in there for ages.

Sprining out of her hammock, y/n gets ready for the massive day ahead of her, shaking alby and newt awake on the way to gather supplies, jumping on newt and consequently making them both fall off his hammock. "Be bloody careful," he says, rubbing his eyes and stretching. "I didn't mean to," she shrugs, jumping up and offering newt a hand to pull him to his feet.

"OK, let's go get some breakfast from frypan, and I'll go distract Minho," Newt says, shaking y/ns hand as they part ways for the separate jobs of the mission. Once y/n sees Newt walk off with Minho, she sprints into the map room with alby heavy on her heels, grabing their map for the day, and sneak quickly out the massive doors before they could be apprehended.

Once the pair in the maze, they head straight and follow the pattern, scanning for anything that any previous runner could have missed, with Albys skill of knowing ever corner and turn in the maze and y/n's new eyes, they'd be sure to notice anything even slightly out of place.

When y/n and alby stopped for lunch, she sat down on the concrete taking a bite out of the sandwich that frypan prepared, she accidentally triggers a button of some sorts that opens up a wall on the far east to where we were sitting.

Quickly, Alby marks down the place we stopped to eat, while y/n checks the coordinates and marks the spot , intent on exploring more. "Should we go explore?" She asks alby, glancing over to where he stands, tight beside the massive opening, just staring at the dark corridor.

"We best not, as it's getting dark soon and minho would actually fucking kill me if I let you in there without him scouring it top to bottom for possible danger" Alby sighs, using his foot to press the button once again to shut the section, and beckoning y/n to follow him out, back to the glade.

When the pair finally get back to the other gladers, all hell breaks lose, Newts waiting for them at the entrance telling y/n that minho is waiting for her in the map room, "I'm so sorry, but he's fucking pissed innit"

"Shit" y/n says, jogging over to where minho would be waiting for her.

Almost instantly, when she enters the map room, minho is standing right in front of her. "What'd you think you were doing???? Heading out into the maze like that, what would've happened if you saw a greiver or even worse something else?? You could've died out there, y/n"

"Yea, well, I didn't die, and I was nowhere close to dying. Get your knickers out of a twist minho. We found something new!!!"

"Well good for you that doesn't escape the fact you went into the maze without permission-"

"I don't need your permission to enter the maze minho, both Alby and Newt approved me going into there, you have no say against it-"

"I reckon I do have a say, thanks very much, also there's nothing in the maze you could've found that I haven't already found, I've explored that maze top to bottom"

Y/n huffs in anger as she explains what she and alby found. Minho was not having it. "That's literally fucking impossible. I've never seen it therefore it probably isn't there. Look y/n I don't want you going into the maze for your own safety it's-"

"MINHO, YOU DON'T GET IT!!! I was a runner before as well. I just barely got to see the maze cause I got injured cause of stupid Ben. I would've been in the maze right beside you, and you refuse to fucking here me out when I really have discovered something important-"

She's suddenly interrupted by minho smashing his lips into hers, strong muscular arms grabbing her and hoisting her up onto the table where he continues kissing her like she's air and he's drowning, lips against lips, teeth against teeth, as y/n brings one hand to rest on minhos chest and other grabbing and lightly tugging the hair on his head, listening as he basically moans on her mouth, he can never get enough, running his hands all on her, grabbing at all the places that make her eyes roll back in her head and whimper softly against him, glad that the table and his big strong figure was there to hold her up.

When minho finally let's y/n breathe she exclaims, "what the fuck was that for!!"

"I needed to shut you up." He gives her a charming smile, and goes right back to kissing her.

OMFG I FINISHED PLS REQUEST MOREEE

[p0rk-guts]

Velvette if she served cunt

Design breakdown below 👇🏾(BEWARE IT'S VERY LONG)

Alright going into detail about my gripes and edits. Like Velvette but her design is just. Not good to me. None of her (main) outfit details look like they fit to me— pinstripe pants + long fur coat paired with black crop top and scene sleeves? Skull earrings? TINKERBELL HEELS????? Tell me how any of that meshes well or even makes SENSE for the social media influencer persona she's supposed to have going on. Now that I think about it I'm pretty sure she's supposed to be clown themed... But I'm just gonna toss that idea out bc being a revered social media influencer and a clown at the same time just seems a bit oxymoronic to me, and the "clown" details aren't adding shit for me.

And don't think I forgot about her features. Pale ash grey skin and wavy hair at best. If she was supposed to be some type of creature where a nonhuman skin tone would make sense then maybe I could let it go?? But as far as I can tell she doesn't have an object or creature or animal theme like the other V's and if she does I shouldn't need to do detective work to figure it out. There is no reason for *any* of these poc characters to have grey skin, especially since they don't have any other poc features at all.

Sorry that shit gets me heated anyways. Onto my redesign. Gave her a more obviously black skin tone and textured hair bc I love a 30 inch buss down as much as the next girl but considering how there are no significant poc cast members with visibly textured hair I think she deserves to flaunt some coils if no one else will.

Ngl I'm not. A fashion girlie. Idk what's trendy idk what screams "influencer" so a lot of this was just throwing shit at the wall that I've seen around recently but it looks cute enough to me. And there was a bit of inspiration taken from Aliyahcore and ghetto fabulous fashion ❤️

If you can't tell this is shamefully inspired by lovesart23's Velvette reimagining because imo they had some outstanding ideas for Vel. I low-key stole their idea for those floating eyes in her hair that follow her around and help her keep tabs on shit it was just a superb idea for a social media overlord to me. I also took some inspo from @furbtasticworksofart 's redesign because vampire influencer sucking up the souls of her followers in exchange for content??? Too good (also the eyes were supposed to have bat/vamp wings I just forgot 😭) So yeah she's a vampire demon now. Without the features she was looking too human anyhow. Maybe she also feeds off of the energy of her followers through tech like after Vox mind controls them or whatever... Idk idk is that anything

Speaking of Vox, the screen glasses are meant to connect her to him w/ their color and shape while serving the purpose of being like a second phone she can post and check the web with. Like lovesart said in their reimagining vid, Vel doesn't really do more than pose for selfies and scroll on her phone when it comes to social media so in my head she's constantly flipping her shades on and off, using them to scroll and stay active, and they can show when she's not paying attention or respect to something/someone bc scrolling is more worth her time in the moment.

The hearts everywhere are also supposed to kinda represent social media likes + connect her back to Val w/ his heart patterns. That might've been what the hearts in her og design were for but. I just didn't like their placement bc I'm a nitpicker and a hater❕

I have so much more I could say about possible ideas for Velvette because I love evil black girls and I only want them to succeed in my media and I could treat her so much BETTER but I'll refrain bc this is way too long anyway.

Alright for reading/scrolling through all that rambling I offer you the sketches + some alt hair ideas I had

P.S. I'm very open to constructive criticism but if I see anyone just dick riding in my replies or rb's I'm just blocking you on sight ✌🏾

[jazeswhbhaven]

Agares Origin Story Event: Hidden Lore | React/Summary Spoilers

Okay so it took me a few days on this because I like to stack up, considering the chapters for each day is rather short this time around on top of there not being two parts in the beginning as usual. I think because Agares is not a major part of the main story and more of a "here's your rootin' tootin' orange lovin' man and his backstory finally!" kinda thing.

So far, there's....alot to digest for his past because let me start with my original theories from when we first met him in the previous Niflheim event:

🍊He was the OG ruler of Niflheim but gone rogue due to an angel attack that wiped out his subjects 🍊His eye was damaged during that battle 🍊He and Vassago were the only ones left and their dynamic is based on that traumatic experience 🍊He is a part of the 72 and so is Vassago, but their loyalty will never belong to Belphegor due to their past and Agares' royal lineage

So it turns out that I was sorta correct in my theories, but there was a lot of things I was off about upon starting this event including the strange reveal of "him being an illegitimate child of an angel". But we'll get more into that!

Grab ya snacks and tissues, get comfy, it's time to go over the first 5 days of the event!

So it turns out that Beleth, Gusion, and Bathin are doing some cleaning duties around the palace of Niflheim. Normally, it appears that Belphie wouldn't really give a shit about any of that, but here lately Agares and Vassago have been complaining about the trash surrounding the area.

It was agreed between Agares and Belphie that Agares would be recognized as the ruler of the castle, but Belphie of the land itself. Fair, right?

considering most of the fucking country is covered in trash and not the castle.

"Lawd" pffttttttttttttttttttttttttt

I say that a lot, so it makes me laugh. I'm lovin' the speech patterns and dialects chosen for this specific country of Hell as I feel like I'm right at home.

(Quick yap about that: I know when y'all think of 'country' southern speak you think of maybe "King of the Hill" or hick, deep woods "YEAP BILLY BO O'RE YONDER" stuff but not everyone speaks like that depending on where you're at. Texas (gawd awful as it is) has a pretty good variety of Southern dialects due to all the different people that move there. Georgia, specifically "Atlanta" has a very specific dialect too. And don't get me started on anyone trying to understand Creole, normally heard in Lousianna (just listen to Gambit from X-men). This is why you see Belphie call MC/US "Sugar" a lot as this in a general term not really used to show interest or "doting" on you. Any nice southern belle is bond to call ya "sweetheart" "hun" "honey" or even "baby" just because or an older man saying "darlin'" or "ma'am" "little lady" depending on where you go. A lot of people tend to like it, others either feel it's too personal or get offended when it's used because they think they're being hit on. Trust, you'd rather hear that than "bless your heart" because have fun guessing if they actually sympathize with you, or if they're insulting you 💀)

also peep that I call Beel and Belphie "boo" this is usually a term of endearment and can also be used between close friends!

But enough about that. Lol B A C K to the story

So it's always funny to me that devils gossip just like humans do and just as they described them standing around smoking and just talking about Agares randomly has me being like do they do this often? like...really? What's funnier is Beleth's nosey ass was trying to see what they were talking about, Bathin joined in, and Gusion even though pretending he didn't wanna...did it too lol

But we get the scoop on Agares' eye the one that was sliced and diced and how the land was almost sold off to the angels. Apparently this random guard devil's grandaddy from like 4 family lines ago saw it with his own eyes (i'm starting to wonder how considering what we're about to find out...)

So we find out that Agares' left eye (when he's facing us on his right) is the mark of angel, a single silver feather. This marked him as an illegitimate son of an angel, his mother being a devil and living in the palace before she passed. The rumor was that she had an affair, and thus Agares was born. Even Agares had a deep feeling that this was all a ploy by his political enemies that didn't want him to rise to power that is until the mark appeared one night just out of nowhere.

Oh no! Poor bby :(

so since the rumor started he's been having to hide his eye, ashamed that he was the last to know, and his stepmother isn't on his side at all, refusing to even acknowledge or defend him in anyway (because she probably hates him let's be foreal).

Leave him alone????? LIKE *punches air* PROTECT HIMMMMMMM

Everyone ganged up on him, all of them being grown adults and I wanted so badly to fight for him. Even if he IS mixed with angel, the other half of him is STILL devil and he shouldn't be treated like he was.

In particular there was a devil that said "we had our doubts" when we learned in the main story that devils don't doubt each other at all. This leads me to believe that since this is very early Hell, the devils at this time had a different set of practices and rules for themselves, meaning that doubt was not off the table.

A damn shame too, because even his evil bitch of a stepmom told him that only his dead mama would know if he was truly the rightful heir. Also we learned something else that seemed to throw a loop....she...gave birth? (I'm going to assume this meant she got her baby from Lilith and they just called it a "birth" just for face) Also, his dad was conveniently just not there for whatever damn reason so there's that.

So young Agares was thrown to the streets, covered in filth and trash and the background pretty much resembles a typical slum neighborhood. The citizens treated him like filth, the CHILDREN were throwing stones at him. Like...THIS ENTIRE THING HAD ME SCREAMING FOR HIM.

Now this scene right here had me wanting to...I'll refrain from saying it but yeah I was not happy with those kids doing that to him which it was indeed on fucking purpose!

Agares was starving at this point, begging for food, something he never thought he'd do and barely having strength to move or think. Plagued with thoughts about his true parent, why his father wasn't coming to save him, couldn't even cry because it would make him even more hungry. Hell, even finding rotting food was scarce in the part of town that he was in.

These random kids found an orange, and while mocking him gave it to him. He accepted it, thanking them and even offering to repay the "kindness". Only to truly be fooled. The orange was poisoned, causing Agares to puke and pass out on the ground as the children ran away in disgust.

But he's saved by none other than Vassago! He wakes up in an abandoned temple, where Vassago introduces himself. He's the leader of what I'm calling a "cult" because that is what this looks and sounds like honestly, that had been waiting for his arrival. All of the devils have the same horn to the side with jewelry. All of them. I will say that they weren't born that way like Agares was, but perhaps cut off their other horn(s) to match.

We have a small pit stop in the flashback, Gusion wondering why he's just now learning everything about this which to Beleth reminds him that he works late nights so never has time to study about the history of the land. (lol gotta put in those hourssss) They also talk about how Agares wouldn't appreciate his business being told like that and he would strike down anyone he hears gossiping

i mean i would too, like what y'all talkin' about me for? lmao

Also the difference between Beleth calling Agares' temper a "nasty attitude" vs what Gusion considers a nightmare is hilarious to me. It's probably because I mean Beleth used to be in Heaven...there's three HUGE manifestations of a nightmare of a temper living up there and he's probably had to deal with it more than once.

though Beleth mentions the reason is becaue he's always near Belphie, so I'm like yeah that attitude of his because he doesn't feel like doing shit is horrific lmao. Agares is mild.

Btw the dynamic between these three, including Bathin is always so wholesome. They seem to care about one another a bunch especially their workloads, rest, and just wellbeing. Reminds me of those coworkers who are always looking out for you instead of trying to one-up you by being a faux manager looking for a reason to snitch on whatever you're doing.

So we're back to the story, Vassago further explaining himself and we get a peek into what Agares thinks of them.

What I found interesting is that he mentions that he didn't suspect them of being devils based on how they looked but they definitely were angels. He even half expected that angels would be coming to rescue him since he's half angel right? Well...there's a thing about that. They don't obviously and Agares gave up that hope just like his hope that his own father would come and save him.

Vassago goes to explain that the temple is the only thing not covered in trash, but everything else around them is, and only Agares can clean it up. He mentions that Agares is the true King that he and his clan have been waiting for. His clan specifically exists to offer sacred rites for the rulers of the land, but after the incident with Agares being kicked out, they waited silently at the temple for the perfect moment to rise to see him once more.

yup this is a dang cult lol meaning they'd DIE for him, live for him, no matter what it is. giving me Douma from demon slayer vibes or Geto from JJK.

So after some thought, Agares accepted them, had Vassago and his clan be his ears and eyes as they worked to clean up the land.

Now here, I've been trying to wrap my head around it myself on what was trying to be illustrated by seeing him in his "matured" state.

"It was the face of someone who had lived consumed by rage, humiliated and betrayed. A face that now looked nothing like the beautiful young prince everyone once admired."

They mention that this wasn't a face simply shed from boyhood or age or growth. Agares himself doesn't even recognize his own face anymore.

How I interpreted this is, yes time has passed and Agares has gotten older, but that youthful, bright and beautiful face that once had hearts flutter and gain respect and admiration from other devils in the royal family was completely gone. The hopeful, caring Agares that was raised to be a King caring for his people had vanished. It was now replaced with this shell of a man, beaten and bruised and filled with distrust and angst. Was this truly his face? Did he even know what he truly looked like? Or was this another trick of the cruel life he was dealt in his time?

But Vassago comes in just in time to reassure him, and Agares shows that still softer side of himself, grateful for all that he and his clan has done for him this far.

Sweet king. Live and breathe on.

AND THEN we get smacked in the face with another twist around.

Agares ain't no divaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa (JOKING PLEASE DON'T SIDE EYE ME)

That's right folks, he's not half angel AT ALL. It was a scheme planned between the devils and angels they were scheming with against Agares....JUST how he suspected in the beginning. Vassago had his point, that this power would had shown at birth.

Now I have a counter argument to that logic, that perhaps since there is no angel/devil hybrids as of yet in that timeframe, that no one can truly know when his or hers powers would show. Sometimes things take time. Though, usually yes...in this case it would have shown up very early and Agares would be a powerhouse. At the same time, we really didn't know what rank of angel his mother interacted with, could have easily been a lower level angel such as Beleth, Leamas(Samael), Jophiel where the powers are so low it probably wouldn't be significant enough to be considered a power. Now if he were part cherubim, that may be more immediate of showing up!

No possible way for him to be part of any higher rank, considering the circumstances.

But knowing Vassgo's background of being over sacred rites, and how much older he is than Agares so knowing more things just from knowledge/experience alone, it is a high possibility that someone just simply put a curse on Agares (similar to how MC has a cursed angel mark on them from Gabriel)

Here we get a cameo back to Mammon's origin story

*waves at Mammon's daddy* heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ;)

we also get to see a nice remember of Mammon's fine ass longer hair and his back....mmmm (had him locked in that prison for so long too like how dare...)

The purpose of mentioning Mammon's lore was to have Agares be reminded that angels do whatever the fuck they want essentially. Back then they didn't even bother to hide their unhinged behavior, legit playing in your face kind of way.

IN the end though, this led to Mammon's rise to being a King, a powerful angel being locked away and peace being restored to the land. This story motivates Agares to do the same thing, crawling from the depths of the trash of Niflheim and to rise as it's rightful heir to the throne.

Now, uh he went a bit overboard thinking he was one of the chosen 7 kings, (he didn't know so it's alright) Vassago also mentions that the royals have pretty much fucked the country to all depths of fucked. Law is pretty much nonexistent, money drained, and the devils had become so lazy that they don't want to work, making money by allowing other countries to dump their trash there basically Niflheim is one big damn landfill for hell.

Let me just say that I think this is hilarious that out of all supernatural creatures, demons would have one use items and trash in the first place. But I mean in most forms of media I do see that Hell does function very similar to Earth if not a damn 1:1 mirror. And in WHB's universe Mammon and some of the nobles have always reminded MC that some way or another "Hell did it first" and that it was shown to Earth on how to make their living situations better because that's how they did it.

Neat.

who the fuck invented taxes and showed someone here then like take property taxes away...i know somebody in Tartaros did it.../joking

Now we've reached the part of the story where it gets pretty gorey and fucked up. They explain pretty much everything in detail for this...so if you didn't read it for the event, brace yourself!

Let's start y'all off with a smile from this sweet man. Sigh....oh how I wish that smile could stay on your beautiful face for just a while longer because this next thing is about to become fucking depressing.

The first day out in months, Agares decided to go clean up the trash around the land on his own for the day, determined and motivated. Only to come back...seeing that his beloved new family and loved ones have been crushed. Vassago's clan was completely wiped out.

What happened is that assassin's were sent to get rid of them and Agares in one swoop. The clan knew of this attempt, creating a fake Agares to trick said assassins, taking the hit. As I said before...they were ready to sacrifice themselves FOR him to protect him.

But this...awakened something in Agares.

Before that though I will share what he saw:

"Beneath the fallen structure, scattered like discarded debris amongst the dead, were the bodies of Vassago's clan. Their clothes were torn, and their faces were so disfigured they could no longer be recognized."

He found Vassago thankfully amongst the wreckage, the wisps of smoke that surrounded him being the main thing that led Agares to his location.

After speaking with Vassago about the demise of his clan and learning that those who truly loved him and looked out for him had passed on while those who raised him casted him out....

Yeah...when I said awakened....I meant it. A well fucking deserved crash out.

He is pretty much gone to the point of no return, the Agares that we see now that's nothing but a hollow ball of cruelty and anger. He had been pushed so far the monster brewing inside him was released. Any forms of Agares we've seen prior to this point were now lost in this deep rage.

Oh there's a storm comin' alright....y'all really in for it.

Literally me pretending to not see him comin' if I was asked to guard the gate. Go on right through sir, I ain't gonna stop ya.

That concludes the first half of Agares' origin story, y'all! So far, it's been fucking angsty, and just as we've seen in previous event stories, a bunch of the nobles have been through some kind of traumatic event even as children (Andrealphus being the most memorable so far) and damn like the writers for this stuff are on the same level as me when I start getting into my "lets write the most traumatic ass back story for character growth and have them wonder if I truly love my OCs or not"

So there's three days left as of now for the event, and I'm just wondering how it's all gonna climax or what's going to happen in the end. There are things we know now that we didn't before

🍊Agares is not half angel 🍊Vassago is older than him, and is a leader of a clan(cult) 🍊Agares' dad has fucked off somewhere and left him with an evil stepmother 🍊The angels learn from mistakes, meaning they get more crafty each time the devils find ways to stop them from scheming 🍊Agares did have a soft side to him, it's buried in there beneath all of the trauma. Though it's probably going to be damn near impossible to get that out from him again

I know I don't see too many folks talking much about this event, probably due to being more interested in Asmo's card, or just the "eh" mood of not really being into Niflheim's lore as much as the other nations in Hell. Well either way, I'm over here still trying to do a mental timeline for when all this shit happened in the first place. Lol.

Anyways, thank y'all for sitting through another event react! Stay tuned for the second part here in the next few days. -> Click here for the second part!

[fligniuz]

flig, would you or anybody else be willing to elaborate on the behaviours and things people around him said that made you think he's autistic? I'm just curious, you could delete after a while if you want to

hi ok SO. i made a post about this when i first started my blog that you can read here but honestly i’m just gonna type out a more thorough response because the post i made kinda rambles on idk😭i wanna stress that none of these things on their own are necessarily signs of autism, rather it’s the combination of all of these things together that strongly leads me to believe luigi is on the spectrum. these traits stand out the most to me:

minimal eye contact. i have seen a few people mention that this could very well be him following the advice of his prison/DP consultant (moskowitz i believe), and that’s always a possibility, but i personally think it’s more likely to be autism considering everything else i’m about to list

restricted interests. there’s not too much to go off of here but i do think his goodreads is quite interesting… there are clear patterns of interests in the books luigi has read or wants to read. for example, in 2022, he read several books relevant to back pain (there are many more on his want to read):

predictably, there are multiple books on computer science and math:

nerd ranch…🥺

aaand a bunch about tech as well:

lol

this pattern of getting “hyper focused” on a specific topic/having a special interest is common for neurodivergent people (especially if it’s something personally relevant to you—lots of autistic people have a special interest in autism itself, for example!) you can see his list of books he’s read here, and his want to read list is here. i highly recommend scrolling through this archive of luigi’s goodreads if you haven’t already—you can learn so much about him just from looking at everything he wanted to read

very expressive with his face and hands. i know this is the exact opposite of the stereotype but many many MANY of us have exaggerated facial movements and gestures as opposed to very minimal ones. autism is a spectrum for a reason! examples:

^ also notice here how he fidgets around a lot!!

this cute lil thing

(i hope you can kinda see what i mean from these gifs. this is one of those things that’s really hard to describe, like you know it when you see it, but as someone who’s also more expressive than not i see a lot of myself in him)

it’s possible he does this to overcompensate for/“mask” a more minimal and natural reaction (and i do believe he’s very good at masking), but regardless it was still one of the things about him that gave me pause

this quote (source):

i recommend reading the other post i made for an explanation of why this screamed autistic to me but essentially this is a very commonly expressed sentiment among autistic people across the spectrum, often stemming from our difficulties with social interaction and, in luigi’s words, finding a community of like-minded people. obviously we have different ways of expressing it but i guarantee that just about every one of us has felt this way at some point in our lives

and perhaps most damning (for lack of a better word) of all…

this substack luigi subscribed to:

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

…this:

i just can’t explain it like have you EVER heard somebody say this about a neurotypical person😭it’s mike so take it with a grain of salt (along with the rest of this post, because i don’t know shit!!!) but idk it stood out to me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

this pose:

AGAIN I CAN’T EXPLAIN BUT I SWEAR. WE SIT IN REALLY ODD POSITIONS LIKE THIS AND FIND THEM COMFY… ive always thought it’s related to our need for sensory stimulation?? but i honestly have no idea what’s up with it. i have hit this exact stance while playing with my toys or reading when i was little. like it’s not just the legs it’s the way the fingers are tucked under his foot too this picture is just so dear to me💔

SORRY for the novel ok i hope this gave you a good idea of why, i won’t write my whole disclaimer again—see other post for that—but to reiterate only luigi knows the answer to this (and he may not actually!! we don’t know, that’s my point) and i obviously do not want to armchair diagnose him or anything. i am autistic, many of my friends are autistic, and my understanding of autism comes from not just my own experience but lots and lots of research; this is all just stuff that sticks out to me and the vibes that i personally get from him, but this man is a stranger to me at the end of the day and i’m not going to say that any of this is definitive at all. just my observations💚

[nightynightghoul]

I have so many thoughts about the ghouls and the ministry.

So this is my take on what the abbey/ministry looks like + a lot of my own worldbuilding. (I made this in Inkarnate, which is meant for dnd maps and stuff.)

Be warned that this is like 2000+ words of what my head has come up with. So under the cut it goes.

I based it on actual abbeys. I've been to like two monk ones and a few convents where I live and abroad and this is what I came up with. I also attended a catholic nun school for a good while, so many of the things here are actually from my memories...

From what I've seen, abbeys are usually isolated and at least partially self-sufficient. Even when they happen to be in the middle of cities. The smaller ones are like a square corridor surrounding a courtyard and the bigger ones have many buildings with that pattern.

I'm not sure where this would be located, maybe Sweden, maybe the US. But since I Imagine the ministry being so old, it wouldn't fit in the US, since there aren't buildings this old or with this architecture.

I also read up on how abbeys work to bulk up the lore in this map and what goes on in the buildings.

So strap in because this will be long.

The biggest building in the abbey is the Grand Church (Ghurch), I headcannon that they have this very big beautiful sorta gothic style cathedral in the abbey grounds, since religious live does kinda go around services and all that. Them having this pretty church would also mean that there's no need for a chapel?

I also think ghouls are not summoned in the church proper but rather from a permanent circle/well. So there's the Summoning Well beside the church. They probably made it that way because it would be dangerous to have any sibling walking in there.

To the other side, there's a sacristy and a Papal Office. The sacristy is where Papa would have his ceremonial robes with his mitre and stuff. I also think it works as storage for service supplies. Things like incense, books, all the plates, cups, and things they would use.

Then the papal office would be the actual workplace for the current papa. Big ol wooden desk with lots of bookshelves, a sofa, probably one of those fancy liquor carts?

There's also a mausoleum close to the church. I mean, I needed a place to keep Nihil's corpse… But it'd be pretty useful to keep the memory of siblings that pass away in the abbey.

Under that are the Clerical buildings. I imagine that when people say “the ministry” it's the Clergy Offices they're talking about. Since most siblings/clergy spend their time within the abbey, it only seems logical to separate living spaces from working spaces to keep people moving and changing environments.

Since I also believe these buildings are super old then the most sought after and fancy offices and quarters would be on the ground floor (no elevator and all that). Which means Imperator probably has her office on the ground floor here along the past Papas and older clergy members.

The living quarters would be much the same in that Imperator, the Papas and now Copia have their rooms here. This building probably has a common room but most have their own kitchenette. Since it's such an old building, the interiors of the rooms have probably been remodelled many times. But it being built out of stone also means it's cold inside all the time.

Both buildings are inside a walled garden. I head cannon that way back, like a couple hundred years back the ministry didn't have a very good grasp of ghoul summoning, and they were sometimes more aggressive or feral than what they are now. (It's probably more of a case that in the olden times, clergy treated ghouls like shit, so they had more reasons to lash out and or kill someone) So they kept some of the abbey's buildings behind tall rock walls and wrought iron gates to add a little more protection. Since it's hardly necessary today, the gates stay open, but the walls are still there.

Then down the path there's the chapter house. What is a chapter house I hear you ask. It's the place where the people that live in the abbey talk and manage non religious things related to abbey life. So this would probably be where poor Aether get's relocated to do taxes and where other mundane office tasks are done. So accounting, admin work, grounds keeping and “housekeeping” are all located here.

Across from it is the Seminary. A seminary proper is like priest school, they go and study for a few years I think, and then they come out priests. But I imagine that in this case it's like a college/university thing, where siblings have Latin classes, horticulture, demonology etc... There's probably some teachers offices here and several classrooms raging in size from auditorium to 3 chairs and a letter sized whiteboard. It for sure has a pretty foyer thing. Imagine groups of siblings sitting around before or after classes, complaining how they thought Terzo's basic Latin class would be a breeze, but it's actual hell. This building has one of those pretty inner courtyards, fountain and all. I'd like to think some classes can be held there, like outside but not outside, you know?

Beside the Seminary, there's a school/nursery. I think couples that have children within the ministry can have the option to move into a bigger space together within the siblings quarters and their children will have a regular secular education until they are old enough to choose satanism or something else. The nursery part takes care of the babies and ghoul kits during the day or while the parents are busy.

I think joining the ministry and becoming a sibling is not something that happens easily or quickly. The same way, nuns spend a few years being novices before actually dressing and having the same responsibilities as their elders. Hence, the Novices Quarters. They are still part of the abbey's daily life, but they have to attend more classes at the seminary and are just a bit more separated from ghouls than regular siblings. Since they probably want to make sure they are really devout and prepared before seeing and interacting with an actual demon. Out of all the siblings and clergy, Novices would probably be closer to being actually “recluse” since in my head there's no way they can freely explore the abbey without accidentally running into a ghoul or walking in to a ritual or seeing things that shouldn't just yet.

In front of it are the workshops. I've seen some people headcannon that the ghouls not only have “jobs” in their downtime and retirement but also hobbies. Like fire, ghouls probably frequent the forge in the workshops or blow glass. Earth ghouls can maybe take the prettiest wood here to be turned into furniture. Ghouls and siblings would work together here to repair and maintain the abbey's physical structure.

Down the path there's the main storehouse. Pretty central in relation to the other buldings. It has 2 floors and a basement. That way they can keep everything, from ageing cheeses and wines to office supplies and staples.

Across the path there's the sibling's Infirmary. I definitely wanted to keep the ghouls and siblings apart in this case. Mainly, because if the building are so old, and they were protected by walls and gates, ghouls would most likely not be trusted to be left in the same building as sick and defenseless siblings. But I think that nowadays ghoul medical staff like Omega, Aether and Phantom work in between the “sibling” infirmary and the “ghoul” infirmary with no trouble. But ghouls do prefer to stay in their own infirmary, since it's closer to the dens.

The siblings quarters surround “Mother's garden” or “Lilith's garden”, both wings share a common room but since the buildings are so old they were built to segregate women from men. Hence, the two quarters wings, two office building and two distinct baths. This separation is ignored nowadays. One, people can have other genders. Two, the “sisters” side has been remodelled to accommodate families.

Like I mentioned when describing the siblings infirmary, there's also a ghoul infirmary. Much smaller and closer to the dens, this infirmary does not have much regarding sophisticated equipment. But it's rather used for minor injuries and easy to fix things. Although the second floor does have Omega's office and private rooms for ghouls. Like Dew (not me making a whole building to be able to imagine @littlemoon-beam fics and headcannons about Dewdrop) who's a frequent flyer of the infirmary.

Of course there has to be an outdoor space of recreation, so I made a “central” plaza with benches and a fountain in the middle (Is this where a high, zooted of his ass Rain has been seen naked? naaaah. Surely not). I called it “All hedonist's fountain” because I can and because it's a nice mirror to things called “All saints whatever”.

Behind the ghoul's infirmary, there's a huge stone wall and gate. That would be the dens. Since I headcannon that there are more ghouls than just the band ghouls, they also need a place to live. Hence, the “General quarters” of the dens, there's also the “band quarters” separated from it. They both share a common room, but they're not directly connected to it, and both buildings have their own little common room. I think the band quarters was the first building made to house ghouls and that's why it has it's own kitchen.

There's also the ghouls workrooms. I think this is where they would have a rehearsal room and other offices.

“Father's gardens”, “Lucifer's gardens” or more recently “Primo's gardens” are within the den's stone walls. (I like to think Primo keeps them all pretty for the ghouls). It has a little pond in it too, no fish though. Blame hungry water ghouls for that.

Across the dens there's the Library. When I was in school, that was the biggest, grandest, most secular place there was and I loved it. So I made this library huge. I separated it into two wings connected by a hall. The only difference between both wings is that the east wing houses all the older books, and it probably has a “restricted” section that only higher clergy members have access to. Maybe for the better, since they wouldn't want a curious sibling trying to summon lord Leviathan and pissing him off.

In the middle of the wings there's the scribes hall. I'd like to think that when people write ghouls working in the library this would be the place. They would probably have book binding equipment, scribes tables, the whole thing. All to maintain the old books in a usable state and register new information the clergy learns from hell.

By the library's east wing, there's "The observatory". Again included because my head needed a scenario and location for the quints to watch the stars. I'd say its a fairly tall tower with a glass dome, some furniture, some books, maybe a desk and telescopes.

There is of course a mess hall. I imagne a big kitchen on one side and a cafeteria like thing where most have their meals, or at least they can go get them to take to another place in the abbey.

Beside it there's a pretty herb garden, animal pastures, some crops, a barn, granary , mill and the greenhouses. I think it was @mac-and-thefox who came up with the idea of there being a farm like think within the abbey and my mind just ran with it. (Do correct me if I'm worng there).

Now there's only one more man made bulding in the map and that would be "Mountain's greenhouse". A true staple for ghost fanfics. It probably was a run down space abandoned by groundskeeping but Mountain wanted privacy + plants and everyone agreed he could do whatever with the little building. Not that Imperator needs to know that Mountain grows weed and hellish plants inside...

The whole eastern side of the abbey is flaked by a forest (ghouls need to have hunting grounds people.) In it there's Mountain's greenhouse, a small rocky hill "Starry hill" and under it a small grotto. More like a hole the water made within the stone, so it's now a tiny cave.

Of course I had to have "The Lake", or else this map would not fit any fanfic involving Rain and Dew. There's a small stream that crosses the abbey and ends up at the lake. Most siblings know to stay away.

The "Southern Clearing". A little clearing full of clover and flowers, a nice place for siblings to celebrate the solstices and equinoxes.

Finally, just beside the Summoning well there's a rocky hill with an old wrought iron door closing it off. I headcannon there are indeed tunnels and crypts running under the abbey but they're closed off now since they're dangerous. Doesn't mean the ghouls don't have a way to go in and out but it's still dangerous for humans. I think the more elusive ghouls, like Special and Cowbell stay here because they want the isolation. There absolutely are old abbandoned torture and sacrifice rooms down here. But modern siblings don't need to know that. (Also, I very much think old ghouls before Nihil and way back were not only not treated nicely or fairly but straight up chained or tortured sometimes. (I'm still in the air on the fact that Imperator knows this and threatens misbehaving ghouls with that along with banishment.)

[safination]

Partners in Death...and Life.

Part I: Radio's not dead

| Part 2: Radio Will Be Dead if He Doesn’t Explain Himself. | Masterlist| ao3 Pairings: Alastor x wife!reader Tags: fem! reader, established relationship, human!alastor, hopefully not but just in case ooc!alastor (I'm trying my best to keep him as canon as possible) acroace!alastor

"Alastor! Pleasure to be meeting you. Quite a pleasure!” One hand reset on his chest, and the other shoots into the air. It’s the bow you did in high school, back when you wanted theater to pay your bills. A performer’s bow. You chuckle. “I don’t think it will be quite the pleasure you think.” “Is that so?” Alastor’s smile remains constant. “And why would that be?” You show him the tray you’re holding. “I’m here to do your sutures.” [Or after a seven-year absence, you find the man you were married to in life, not only back in town, but also helping . . . *checks notes* . . . the Princess of Hell run a hotel aimed at rehabilitating sinners who were sent to the bad place for a reason.]

ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ

You pass the tissue box—the third one already.

Your patient blows his nose, rubbing snot off his snout. He has to stretch his arms to reach his nose. Alligators are known for their long snouts. His nostrils flare when he sniffles.

Used tissue is discarded on the pastel-pink floor despite a pastel-pink trashcan stationed by his webbed feet. It’s been the same pattern for the last fifteen-minutes. Tissue, Sneeze. Floor.

“—and I have this . . . uh . . . like this real bad itch on my eye. I keep rubbing and rubbing but it doesn’t do shit! My eyesight’s gotten worse—It’s already fucked up but this is just different. My roommate hissed at me about getting blood all-over the carpet floors if I kept scratching my scales. Oh. Oh! I’ve been snee—achew!” Alligator snot lands on the pastel-pink floors of the clinic.

Your eyes twitch.

He takes another tissue and waves it around his head. “The top of my head is killing me. Ya’know where that is right?” He blows his nose. “It’s right here,” he says, inching his head closer to you. “The last nurse I went to was blind as a bat! Literally, she had the wings and everything. It was kinda hot.”

“I’m well aware of the location of your head,” you say. “You can lean back now.”

Tissue. Sneeze. Floor

Tissue. Sneeze. Floor.

Tissue. Sneeze. Floor.

Pastel pink floor.

Underneath the mix of feathers and hair strands, the bustling of the waiting room catches your ears. Someone curses, booming and violent at another waiting patient. A cough, a sigh, a barf. Painful curses erupt after that. You bring a hand to your ears, wincing as your eardrum ring. Pentagon City’s best and biggest hospital needs better doors, but those lazy sloth fuckers at the top invested at the first material they found.

The alligator sneezes into another tissue. He flicks it with his wrist, and it hits the pastel-pink wallpaper adorned with closed eyes. Maybe Belphegor should be the sin of Pride instead, considering all items are covered in her symbol.

“I really feel like t’was those exterminators ya’know?”

You do not, in fact, know. Half of what this young man says is incomprehensible.

His snout sways left to right when he shakes his head. “It’s only my second one, and this was a close call, and uh . . . well, ever since then I’ve been like this. One even got to my roommate. “

You hum, leaning back on your chair. You should petition to for thicker doors. And while you’re at it, better interior design, and better paint—something that isn’t pastel pink.

“Ugh, and it’s so not cool that this new roommate of mine’s been shedding since the day they moved in,” he says.  “Speaking of shedding, do you think it’s because of those exterminators? Do you think they like spread some sort of weird pollen to make us sick? They’re totally the type to do that.”

You take your pen—your pastel-fucking-pink pen—and poke his alligator sinuses.

Hell does have its own brand of humor. You gave your 20s to studying human anatomy, only to die and find yourself with the need to re-learn the boring part of biology.  (Two books on reptiles, four on mammals, and fifteen on sea creatures.)

“YEOWCH!” His teeth stick out again. You do not know what this means.  “What kind of nurse ar—“

“Doctor.”

“—you? That’s not the top of my head!”

You push back on of the feathers on your head. “Your roommate ‘hissed’ at you? And they’ve been shedding fur for two weeks now.?

“Yeah . . . ?”

You stare at him. “Have you ever considered that you’re allergic to your roommate?”

“Ooooooooooh,” he says. ‘Yeah, I was allergic to cats back when I was alive.”

You grab your (pastel-fucking-pink) prescription pad from the desk drawer. “Control it with some antihistamine. Four pills every 12 hours.”

His teeth start showing. You’re not sure if he’s frowning. It’s hard to tell. “Pills, really?”

You toss what you were writing into the massive pile of germs, mucus, and tissue. “I can give you a nasal spray. I’ll flush the mucus then insert a spray that prevents build-up,” you say. “They last for two weeks and then you’ll need to come back.”

He grabs the last tissue from the box. It still lands on your floor. “Ma’am nurse, do you have any more of this?”

You sigh and reach for a fourth box of tissue. “It’s doctor,” you say. “We keep nasal sprays here in the clinic. I’ll just grab one and you’ll be out in fifteen minutes.”

“No can do,” he says. “Before I died, my coach told me to stay away from that non-organic shit. It’ll mess us up real bad apparently. All those steroids.”

“You have phencyclidine sticking out of your coat pocket.”

“Pheny—what?”

“ . . . Angel Dust.”

“The porn star?”

“The drug. You have drugs sticking out of your coat pocket.”

“Come on, nurse—”

Threads erupt from your fingers. It snakes around his wrist, coiling and twisting.

He jerks his arm away and cries out when you tighten your hold. Your threads wrap around his legs. It pulls against his waist. Magic binds his arms, and tightens around every joint he owns.

You stop, only when the alligator struggles, trashing against the clinic chair.  His teeth bare and he snaps at whatever he can reach. You tug on one of the thousands of strings digging into his skin. His jaw snaps shut, and it will stay shut. Another tug and his back stretches to straighten. You move your fingers as if a piano laid before you, and he sits up like a good puppet.

Another month of clinic dury will be your punishment if those sloth from down below are lucid enough to do their jobs.Sadly, killing this idiot would have you suspended for three months.

“I am a doctor,” you tell him. “Do not make me repeat myself.”

The tension on your strings marks even the few scales scattered on his body. He’s a real idiot if he continues to struggle.

Delicate movements of your fingers bring him forward, his back still strained, and tilt his snout at a forty-five-degree angle.

Your threads elongate as you move toward the clinic drawers. It loosens around you, careful at keeping you able to move freely. It’s one of the handier parts of your magic. You shake your hands and the threads detach. It sticks to the floor to keep the alligator as your puppet. You scrub your hands thoroughly before taking the nasal spray and filling with with distilled water.

You place on nitrite gloves. It’s always best when dealing with bodily substances such as mucus.

You place a pan underneath and jam the tube up his nostrils, hosing his sinuses with water. The tension of his binding keeps him still. (If you ignore his whining, then that’s your business. The brawl you heard from the waiting room drowned it all out anyway.) He starts breathing better when all the snot flushes to the pan.

“Finished,” you say with satisfaction. You grab your prescription pad and write one for a nasal spray. “I cleared the mucus buildup so you shouldn’t feel any more headaches. The spray will keep your nose clear for as long as you use it. Come back if you start to feel any discomfort. For the rashes just get cream.” You point at the pastel pink door. “The exit’s right there.”

The threads dissolve in the air. He rubs his wrist, trying to soothe the red marks that your strings bring. You hand him the signed prescription.

He doesn’t close the door on his way out.

The broom and dustpan are hidden in one of the taller cabinets—pastel-pink like everything else in the room.

(Well, not everything. The radio sitting on the corner of the counter gives a splash of red into the room.)

You sweep the tissues into the dustpan. Your control over your strings is much more proficient when living beings are involved. Inanimate objects whip around when you use your magic on them, and radios have been difficult to purchase recently. It’s more convenient to clean using your own hands.

“Tagatha,” you call out when the floor is clean. “You can bring in the next one in.”

Silence is your reply.

“Tagatha?”

Your ears quirk. The noises are faint—an occasional cough, silent weeping, and muted voices coming from the television. You peek out the door, eyeing the crowd formed around the corner of the hall where a pAstel-pInK television mounts on the wall.

The door closes with a faint click. You sink into the cushions of the office chair. Vox’s yapping bore you. It was probably some man-child debate about the new extermination date.

Although . . . those serialized dramas he produces, sadly, are interesting enough to be consumed. If asked for your honest opinion, you’d tell them that they were a hot pile of smelly garbage, but you like to leave it playing mindlessly in the background.

Your husband will throw the television out the window the first chance he’ll get.

Too bad he’s occupied.

You grab a piece of paper from the drawer. Management is forcing you to write a thousand-word formal apology. There are about three-hundred words left to write.

Getting caught dissecting the dead bodies from the morgue is a mistake that won’t be repeated. One dead body and suddenly those lazy fuckers have diligence weaved into their DNA.

The body was already dead, and it’s not every day a chance to poke around a chimera’s entrails appears.

The sinner would contribute to something meaningful at least. You’re stuck on clinic duty until you dot your last sentence, and not a moment before

The coffee’s cold now, but consumable.

You reach across the desk, feeling for the knob of the radio. You twist until you feel the clink. Music fills the air—the same twenty-five songs on a loop. You stare at the radio for a moment. Just . . . a small . . . single moment.

 . . . On your kitchen counter, that second cup of coffee should be cold by now. It’s always cold when you trudge through the door. It’s been cold and untouched for years.

Yet, without fail, that second cup you brew will always be waiting for its owner.

“Salutations!” You snap your head to the radio. “Good to be back on the air.”

Huh? The feather on your hair preens. You swipe the radio, your hold on it feather-light.  You turn the knob responsible for volume. The static noise stings your eardrums.

“—ile since someone with style treated hell to a broadcast. Sinners rejoice!”

Murmurs erupt outside your door. You blink and find yourself slamming it open. One foot after another, one step after the other, brings you closer to the television. Your shoulder throbs when you bump into someone, but you keep pushing until you see Vox and his tacky suit enlarged on the screen.

“What a dated voice!”

A reply comes from the radio. “Instead of a clout-chasin’ mediocre video podcast.”

Your feather rises higher. Laughter escapes your lips, it leaves a dry taste. That . . . that ṁ̵̭͔̲̙̦͎̝̜̲̠͙͇̂̏̃̐̂̓̊̂̕̕o̴̢̭̝̙̤̬͚͐̅͗̌̇̂̌̕ţ̷̛̝̂̿h̶̯̟̙̲̘̟̟͙͔̔̋͊̋̿̐͘͜͜ę̶̗̰͔̫͔̗̝̘̻̰̓̓̈̊͜r̵̨̂̏f̶͖̻̱̺͕̹̫̭̠̚u̸̬̺̯̟̦͖̅̂́́̌̚͝ć̴̖͙̰͈͕̉͌̈́́̈̔̀̉̍́͜͠ḳ̴̨̧̗̫̗͖̞̟̑͌̂̀̈́̀͆͒ę̷̛͓̼̟͍̆̆́͆̾͛͝r̵̹̮̤͓̗̹̈́̎̉͌̾͌̏͑̋̚͝.

“Doctor!” Tagatha screeches when she spots you. “I am so sorry. I’ll bring in the next one right away!”

Your eyes are trapped by the screen and your ears by the radio. “It’s alrig—”

Tagatha grabs the closest person to her and shoves you back into the clinic. The door slams shut just as everything goes dark and silent. (Well, it’s not completely dark, once your eyes adjust you can still see as if the lights were open. Another small perk to this body). Your radio, along with the power, stopped working.

“Oh my!” Your new patient bleats.

“We have generators,” you find yourself saying. “I’m sure the power will come on in a minute.”

The cushions of the chair do little to ease your nerves. You pat your hair, trying to get it in control. A pile of feathers starts forming on the PASTEL-FUCKING PINK FLOORS. T̴̹̜͇̅̅͗͜H̶̰̗̄Ơ̶̡̡̻̗͖̋̎̓̓S̴̨͉̝̻͋̽̆́͆Ẹ̸̡̢͐͐͠ ̷̨͚̞̙̀͒̆̆͊Ŭ̵͕̲̪͇͓͐̚G̷̹̝̦̬͊͒Ḷ̶̭͓̎̏̈͘Y̶͇̟̍̉̚ ̷̟͎͕̞͂͑̂̇À̶͉̍̄̈̚S̸͖̖͕͑̏͛̈́S̶͚̤̼̯̀ ̶̻͆P̷̬̝̉Ä̵͕́͊̌S̸̢͍̆̓͝Ṫ̸͖̲̠̾̉͜͝E̷̺͆L̷͖̏͐́͝ ̶̛̟̽͝P̷̪̔͜I̴̹̥̹͖̮͒́̏͘N̸̳̙̼̾̆̿Ķ̶̟̞̜̉͊̓̂̚ ̵͈̬̃̿̄̈́̋F̵̨̨̼̫̘͘L̸̙̠͎̓̆́O̷̧̘͚͉̤̓O̷̤̟̱̼̤͋̍͐R̷̰̝̓͌̌Ș̵̲̝̈́ “Excuse me?” You will paint this room red with the blood of management.  You tap your foot again, and again, and again. “ . . .Doctor?”

Your neck snaps in her direction, eyes wide and staring.

“The . . . uh . . . the lights are back.”

You blink at your patient—huh, she’s a goat. “I apologize,” you say, smiling. “Please, tell me, what brings you here in this hellish afternoon.”

She holds up her bleeding arm. “It’s been like this since the extermination,” she explains. “Some angle got me. Luckily, I was able to run off before I was finished. I thought it would heal on its own like it usually does but it just hasn’t. It keeps bleeding.”

“Well, angel-induced injuries are my specialty,” you say. Tucked away to the side, a mirror hangs. You catch your reflection, and you blow your hair away from your vision, your red sclerae “This will cost you. Injuries caused by angels are . . . difficult to stitch, but not impossible—not for me at least.”

“Oh, yes.” She bleats one more “Dear God, where are my manners? I’m sorry can I ask for your name?”

Your smile widens. “Of course. I’m—"

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“Alastor! Pleasure to be meeting you. Quite a pleasure!” One hand reset on his chest, and the other shoots into the air. It’s the bow you did in high school, back when you wanted theater to pay your bills. A performer’s bow.

You chuckle. “I don’t think it will be quite the pleasure you think.”

“Is that so?” Alastor’s smile remains constant. “And why would that be?”

You show him the tray you’re holding. “I’m here to do your sutures.” He steps closer to take a peek. You watch him as his eyes gloss over your matches then your needle driver, then the alcohol lamp. His smile wobbles when he lands on the syringe.

You move the tray, dropping it down on the little cart by the examination chair.

“There’s no need to worry.” You beam at him. “I have the steadiest hands in this city.”

“Hmmmm,” he says. “You must be the other doctor then.”

“Not at all.” You point to your uniform, where the initial ‘NP’ is embroidered next to your name. “Just the nurse practitioner.”

He takes a closer look and reads your name. “Then I have no reason to fret. None at all! In my experience, doctors usually have their noses buried in their books. It’s the nurses that actually get the hands-on experience.” Alastor’s hands move when he talks. “What’s such a talented practitioner doing in such a dinged-up clinic?”

“Management caught me in the morgue dissecting the dead—It’s how I practice my stitches.”

“Really, now?”

You bark a laugh. “Not at all—I’m far too smart to get caught.”

“A witty sense of humor and a steady hand! I am in good hands, indeed.”

You take a seat on the rolling stool. “Yes, yes,” you say, waving your wrist. “You make fine compliments, Sir. I’ll be sure to be extra gentle.” You point towards the examination chair. “But, please hurry to the chair. You’re dripping blood on my floor.”

Alastor glances down. His eyebrows furrow as he glares at where the blood seeps from his sleeve . . . almost . . . almost as if he’s angry. “My apologies,” he says, allowing his blood to drip to the floor.

Alastor shrugs off his coat. It’s rare to see such a dark red—only a few choose such a color. You hum. Alastor is a well-dressed gentleman. Lovely. Those are your favorite kind. He drapes his coat over the spare chair, ignoring the coat racks the clinic provides.

You turn away and wheel yourself closer to one of the drawers on the counter. It takes two attempts until you find the stash of sterile gloves. “Take your seat when you’re ready,” you say. “I’ll take a look once you are.” You place the gloves on the little green cart, right next to your tray.

Alastor takes his seat, landing with an audible ‘humph’. He smiles at you, sleeves rolled and arm ready. He pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

You hold your palm out. “May I?”

His smile wobbles—it’s a small change in expression that you wouldn’t notice if you weren’t looking. “Of course.”

Along his forearm, a long and sharp cut wounds him. The sight of grime that covers the opened abrasions makes you inwardly cringe. You need to clean these as soon as possible. “Why was this not checked sooner?” You rest his hands on the armrest and use your foot to bring the cart closer. “This looks old, and not at all like a freshly deep cut. I prefer it when patients come to me with fresh wounds.”

You grab a bowl with distilled water and pour in a sterile solution. “I assumed it would heal on its own,” he tells you. “It was quite a surprise when it did not.”

“I need to clean this before you die of infection.” You dip his arm into the bowl. He remains silent, but you feel the tension of his muscles under your fingers. “Hopefully there will be no next time, but just in case, next time, please don’t wait a month.”

He laughs, and there, you faintly see it—a twitch in his eye. “It was only a week actually.”

You smile to yourself. “I’d prefer it if it was only a few hours.” You dry his arm with a soft towel, his arm still tensed underneath your touch. “There, much better.”  You release your hold to go to a shelf filled with different labeled vials and select the one you need. With the clean syringe, you draw the contents of the vial. “You’ll feel a bit of a pinch,” you say. You tap its side. “It’s morphine— wouldn’t want you screaming and writhing”

You study his face for a second. There’s just that same dismissively polite smile.

“You can look away if you wish,” you tell him. “It’s why we pin such . . . er . . .interesting decorations around. . . . May I?”

You feel it again when Alastor inches his arm closer. His muscles tense under your touch. It’s almost as if he wishes to pull away. You keep your hold feather-light, but firm.

“Are you a hunter by any chance?” you ask. You don’t prick him—not yet. Not when tension coils in your hold.

“You could describe it that way,” he says, chuckling like he’s told a humorous joke. (You don’t understand why.)

“I figured you were.”

Alastor slides his glasses up the bridge of his nose. You inject the morphine into his skin, right inside the soft pink tissue. Good. Alastor relaxes when he speaks, it seems. “I do love a good hunt,” he says. “How ever did you know.”

You release your hold and discard the syringe. “Your hands are rough,” you tell him. “And hunters always have this silly notion that injuries magically heal given enough time—along with farmers, actually. Although, farmers are usually much more deluded.”

He flashes that same polite smile. “I'm guessing you’re not a hunter then?”

“How ever did you know?”

You watch his eyes flicker to your palms as you re-arrange the needles. “Delicate hands.”

You flash the same polite smile right back at him. You take a match, and light the alcohol lamp.

Soap spreads all over your palms and up your arm as you scrub your hands. You slip your hands into the sterilized gloves, careful not to contaminate the surface. “I’ll begin now.”

Alastor hums in reply.

You take a scapple and pass it over the flame. You poke him, lightly, but he doesn’t react. Satisfied, you cut back fibrous tissue underneath the skin. You replace the scapple with a needle driver. There was a quiet click when you pinch the tiny curved needle. You pass it over the flame as well. “Can you do me a favor? Can you tell me how many stars are on that wall over there?

Alastor turns to look at you, but you block his eyes with your palm, shielding him from your stiches.

“The wall isn’t over here.”

“I assure you, I’m not afraid of a silly needle.”

“I’m sure you are,” you say. “However, you’ll forgive me if I don’t take your word for it. The last three people who said that took one look and started squirming. One even fainted. It makes your life miserable, and my job harder.

He counts.

“Out loud please.”

He does as he’s told, rather reluctantly.

Hands steady and determination set, you pierce the soft pink tissue with your needle The tissue nearest to the surface is always delicate. You’re certain not to catch any fat in your suture, for fat dies, and a loose stitch is useless. “Well, isn’t this fun!” he says. “I really feel nothing.”

Your concentration does not break. “I don’t remember there only being twenty-six stars. I’m positive there are more.”

“Why is someone as talented as you only a nurse practitioner?”

“There’s nothing wrong with being a nurse,” you reply, tugging on the needle. “Well . . .we . . . we certainly could be paid more.”

“Why not become an actual doctor then?”

“My father couldn’t afford it. He wouldn’t send me . . . and . . . hmm.” You smoothly pull the suture thread and begin the next stitch. “And I enjoy this.”

He looks down at you. “Is this all you’ll be satisfied with?”

You focus back on your stitching, hiding your glare. You bring your needle underneath the flesh, making sure to catch the soft tissue. You’re doing an uncommon stitch, but it would be a shame to leave a scar. “You sound familiar.”

You pause to look at him, His smile brightens, and it actually looks like a genuine elated smile. “Why, I’m a radio broadcaster. You might have heard me there.”

“Oh yes,” you hum, turning back to your stitching. “Alastor . . . I remember now. The ladies and I listen to your broadcast as we do our crafts.”

“Knitting?”

“I personally prefer embroidery,” you say. “I get to practice my stitching and make beautiful art.” You pull the thread and begin a new one, stitching his skin like they were shoe laces. “You’re quite the humorous gentleman, I must say, and quite a lovely taste in music. We enjoy your broadcast very much”

“Do you have any of your artworks here?” he asks you. “I would be eager to see them.”

“Maybe next time.” You tug the suture, and his laceration snaps to a close. You tie a knot and snip the end. “Unfortunately, I’ve finished your stitches.”

“Next time then.”

You discard your gloves and go back to the shelf with the vials. You fill up another syringe. You jam the needle into his skin, not enough to hurt, just enough to scare him a bit. “To prevent infection.”

He jerks away from you. “What happened to that gentle touch of yours?”

“It’s still a sharp object, Sir. They tend to hurt.” You smirk and carefully clean the remaining blood on the skin around the sutured wound. You take a bandage from your cart and begin wrapping it around his forearm, covering your sutures. “Don’t forget to drink your pills every 8 hours, with a meal in your stomach, preferably. Replace the dressing every three days. You can come back here or if you’re able to do so, you can change them yourself. Any by the good God, please, visit the nearest hospital should this incident repeat.”

Alastor slides off the examination chair. He grabs his coat as if you didn’t just stitch him close. You start packing when you notice him fixing his bow tie, and smoothing his hair. Huh . . .There’s blood on his coat, but he doesn’t seem to mind. Like he’s used to having it there. Like it’s just something he’s learned to live with. “You were wrong by the way.”

“Pardon?”

“It was quite the pleasure to meet you.”

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Next Part |Part 2: Radio Will be Dead if He Doesn't Explain Himself| Hello, welcome to the hell that's been plaguing my head. In case you didn't know Belphegor is the ruler of the sloth ring, and she seems to be in charge of medical-related stuff in Hell. I have the story mostly plotted out, it's just a matter of writing it down. If you have any questions, ask away