#always my fault and everyone else’s actions are always excusable

[kavehayati]

Someone take me from this rotten household

[ryuzakemo128]

Murder

Pairing: Poly141 x Beta! Combat Medic! Female Reader

Content Warnings: Swearing, Beta! Combat Medic Female reader's callsign is Magpie, disabilities, Depression is explored, and bisexuality erasure is explored too. Female masturbation.

Note: I will be depicting the female reader as at least bisexual. If you don't like that. I suggest that you leave now and find something else to read. No. I won't change my mind on that bisexual part.

To live is to be ready and willing to die. To collapse inside yourself like a wilful song. Ready to leave into the soil neath your feet and to fixate on what you might leave behind. For better or for worse. People examine the good parts of people and only the good parts of them are ever seen by a large amount of people.

People assume things based on what they see, what they hear and what they learn. You should know this by now that lost souls drift away forevermore. You didn’t take the warnings seriously. You never did and you never will.

“If you knew what was out there, you wouldn’t have been so smug about that comment.” You remarked glaring at him. “Another foolish mistake like that? Well, I’ll make sure you redo all of basic training one painful step at a time.”

“Do me a favour, get up off your fucking arse and leave me alone.” You growled into his ear. You didn’t think it would have affected him in any ‘meaningful’ manner. You were just tired of all his bullshit excuses.

You pushed him away, but he didn’t let you go afterwards. Did you really think you could get away with growling in his ear like that? Really love? What on earth were you thinking? Were you even thinking at all?

“I heard worse from men who pretend to be alphas. Your insults and actions prove more about you than it does about me. So, do us both this one delightful favour, turn around, step out that door, and leave me the fuck alone, or I will make sure you learn the real meaning of pain.” You continued to speak, your hand is clenched, and your knuckles are turning a different shade from the stress.

“You can’t take what’s not actually there to begin with. You really think someone would date a beta? The fuck you on?” you didn’t believe a word he said. None of it.

If you were to die alone. Then so be it. You’d die alone inside your shark covered nest in goose feathers. Unwanted by everyone around you. People always leave you. Why hold onto them if they only deem you as temporary?

Price knew of the rough break-up, he didn’t think you’d be changed by it, by you were, a cheating partner does that to someone, especially to someone like yourself. A beta. Loyal. Honest. All to a fault. To your marrow. Down deep buried within your soul.

The conversation over the phone to your ex-boyfriend took the last parts, the last licks of energy you had for the day. Much to the dismay of someone like Soap. Who decided to worm his way to your office, he heard, “You are lucky we didn’t bring a fucking child into this relationship. I would have made sure you wouldn’t see them. Ever!” you growled through the phone. The landline cord wrapped around your knuckles like a priest’s rosary during a prayer.

The clenched fist tightened further, borderline on the verge of letting your own sharp nails dig through your own flesh. To allow the blood to drip down slowly down your tense forearm.

You didn't know what he thought he could get by trying to get under your skin like that. It pissed you off easier than anything Soap or Ghost has ever done. Nothing could come close to what he did to you or the phone calls he makes straight to your office. Always managed to get your new office number.

You were fucking yourself relentlessly that night afterwards, Price interrupted when dildo had slid easily inside you. He ultimately decided the best thing for you is the real thing. It explained the discreet packages he saw the last fortnight.

You didn’t think he would take any notice to them whatsoever. You didn’t think he’d even find out either. That’s thing about you. You tend to clean up before anyone notices anything had gone awry in the first place.

Things would have to be skewed enough for you to leave a large enough mess behind. Rare in its occurrence. You would sooner drown than ever ask for help.

Price pulled the dildo from deep inside your cunt with a loud, wet pop. The sudden emptiness made you gasp and your legs quiver. Your naked body glistened with a thin layer of sweat. Your hands were a surgeon’s.

Soft, smooth, silky, precise, meticulous, and the remnants of saline solution you never been able to wash off. No matter how many times you did. This is what your touch felt like. It’s what it smelt like most of the time. Saved more lives than he would be able to count on both hands. Feet included if he wanted to be extra pedantic about it.

You saw more gunfire, combat zones, wounded, and bloodshed than necessary. Far more, more or less according to anyone with enough common sense. Started at sixteen, Price met you two years after you enlisted at sixteen too. Though you had more of a waiting period than he did. 16 months minimum to be more exact.

He hasn’t forgotten how you saved his arse the first time, restarted his heart by more or less punching him in the chest, yelling, “Who the fuck do you think you are? What the fuck do you think you’re doing dying like that?”

Nikolai hasn’t stopped thinking about it either. A young woman, barely in her twenties with enough anger to kickstart a heartbeat again? The kind of anger that would have or should have gotten her killed. But you weren’t. Your skills were more than a little ‘useful’ to say the least.

He approached you afterwards, after things were all said and done. “He owed me 20 pounds. Didn’t want him to think he could get out of paying me back by dying.” You stated.

Nikolai looked at Price’s facial expression, which is a mix of dumfounded amusement, shock and a little turned on by you. Not that he would ever admit that you did that to him at the time. It would be more or less like pulling teeth from a reluctant patient.

Now here he stands in your nest forty minutes after your intense conversation with your ex-boyfriend. Someone, Soap hated by the look of things, especially whenever he wedged himself between him and you.

Now that he is no longer in the picture? Price knew exactly what you needed, what you wanted, and most of the time you didn’t need to say a thing. You didn’t have to look up to see his smug grin on his face. You knew it was there. There wasn’t any point in pointing it out now was there?

He had the audacity to lean against your nest’s door frame, you didn’t know what he was going to say to you now. You weren’t going to lie, you were a little nervous to hear what he might say. Not from embarrassment. No. You never got embarrassed. That was never a prime ‘feature’ of yours.

Soap lingered around the door, pretending not to be aroused by how you masturbated in frustration only moments ago. It always fascinated him that you went straight to that instead of punching something. He makes a mental note to join you later.

Because in Soap's mind. 'What's yours is mine and what's mine is yours'. Who knows...maybe he'll even drag Simon and Kyle to make sure you're too fucked out of your mind to even remember that you even had that bitch of an ex to begin with.

Divider Credit: @cafekitsune

[noinoi10101010]

A rant on how some people in the fandom coddle lunar

look this really annoys me. Some people in the fandom just coddle lunar so damn much and it shows with this arc. Everyone is calling the celestial family abusive and neglectful for neglecting him to witch they have not. They kicked lunar out for attacking earth cause they want to him to forces on himself and his emotions are linked to his powers and could possibly run the risk of him attacking jack and dazzle two CHILDREN! Yes lunar won't and would never want to attack him but because of how emotional lunar is and how he refuses to say he needs help until he is forced shows the chance of him attacking jack and dazzle is not unlikely and speaking of him attacking earth I think some people need to realize that lunar COULD HAVE KILLED EARTH! Yes he didn't but he still basically could have or infected her with negative star power and made so it would like lunar. And it doesn't help that the fandom is always quick to shit on earth for being flawed for 5 minutes and people call her a bad person and yet every other character especially lunar get a free pass

moon mentally abused sun and killed kids - no one says anything

Monty scamed and commited multiple crimes and was an absolute dick until a bit before the eclipse and lunar take over - no one says anything

Solar was very neglectful to jack and basically left him alone with resulted in him getting bitted by razzle and went to go kill the creator without telling anyone and it having the potential to have him get killed again and everyone not wonder were he is. - no one says anything

Sun goes on a man hunt that leads to moon dieing - no one says anything (I'm sorry my beautiful beloved I love you for all your flaws)

Lunar kills someone and uses negative star power dispute the astrols telling him it's bad and nearly killing his sister and forever causing chronic pain - is defended religiously

Earth doesn't comfort lunar during when he is having a breakdown cause she is setting up boundaries - everyone calls her 100% bad

and I have heard this throughout the fandom and I just want to say this BEING OR HAVE AUTISM IS NOT AN EXCUSE. This is coming from someone who has it and have had me be shamed for some of my traits. Some people this lunar is autistic coded with is fine does it excuse any of the bad stuff he has done fuck no. Having autism or better yet ptsd doesn't mean you get a free pass. Imagine your in court and you just killed someone and you excuse is "but I'm autistic and have ptsd" like no your still gonna go to jail you still did a bad thing. Lunar bad actions are on him not his mental disorder ON HIM!

Edit : after seeing yesterday episode it just proves my point. Yes sun should have said that lunar should be the one to fix it but his daughter best friend was so mean to her she went up to her room to cry. Sun could have also told her what happened yes but how would explain to someone who seems to be no older then 7 that there best friend was taken over by magical force as complex as negative star power and not only that there using them as weapon for murder. Yes he could have explained it in a kid friendly way to her but I think sun desperately want to shield dazzle from the stuff they go through on a daily basis the episode Sun moves on he says that dazzle didn't deserve what she got and deserves to be a little girl he want dazzle to live happily and not deal with any of the stuff they always deal with for dazzle to deal with and the main reason for this negative star is on the planet to begin with is lunar. Is it his fault no but you can at least understand his logic which is especially clouded by rage with caused sun to act like that. Im I defending him no but like sun or not he has a daughter to protect and is shown to be very protective of her. If was anyone else there that sun let his anger out on especially earth I highly doubt any of you would say anything. And keep in mind lunar is not upset at the family for neglecting him ever since the attack he did on earth he responded to call out they give him on his bull shit is him understanding he deserves it as the main reason for all of this the whole reason for all of the family feelings for him being complained is him attacking and could've possibly killed earth as again earth could have died from the negative star blast and her having chronic pain was probably one of the better situation to have happened as she could have it take her over and it would be like how it is for jack or she could have flat out died. And that is what this rant is for not for people he bring up reasonable arguments that the celestial family is in the wrong but people who see lunar getting harmed in any short of way and shit on the other characters that are doing that. Just because he is your comfort character does not mean he should be defended like he is Jesus Christ. That is who this rant is for this is not out of malicious sorry if I made it seem like it was. @theinfamousmaybelle and to any one in the lunar protection squad or anyone who likes luanr in general I am sorry that I if I ever offended you or made you uncomfortable I'm truly sorry and it won't happen again. I am just so.damn tried for everyone in this fandom constantly defending lunar for every thing he has done. I don't hate lunar far from In fact he is one of my favorite characters but I hate how it is for some people if lunar in the show does anything he must be in the right 100% of the time. Once again I am not hating on any of you or think the celestial family are 100% perfect and in the right for this. This rant was just letting me get all my thoughts out of my system cause this has really been pissing me off. Especially because I absolutely adore earth so much and I hate her getting stupid criticism like this. Again all of your thoughts in this fandom are valid and I'm sorry if offended any of you or made you uncomfortable.

[crooked-wasteland]

It’s okay to defend Stolas but it’s not okay to excuse his actions or villainize Blitz and Octavia

By way of Explanation, Excuse, and the Paradox of "Good Damage"

I think a lot of people struggle to find the difference between an explanation and an excuse. Especially when it comes to the internet and our knack online of taking all statements as an extreme. It also folds into the growing immaturity in society to not be able to grasp nuance in communication, or even recognize that talking to each other is still all about interpretation.

I think this can go back to the misunderstanding between myself and the other Anon where they felt the need to respond and assure everyone that they didn't find Medrano a malevolent/malicious person. And that's because I used the word malicious. But I use words in a different way than most people. So I explained how words function for me and what I mean when I use a word like "malicious", but I also still apologize. Because I have the social awareness to see that, on a platform that is seen by dozens of users, my use of words is 1) not universally understood and 2) can give an unfair impression of the Anon to others who see my response.

It's not fair for a misunderstanding caused by me to characterize someone else and their intentions to others. So, of course, I will always apologize for that. Because there is a lot of power we hold over our anons. Everyone who comes to my page will understand the Anon through my myopic perspective based on my response. And that is also filmed over with their own wheelhouse of how they view the world.

Malicious doesn't typically mean "intentional actions that result in obvious negative outcomes". It usually means with cruelty/malice and an intention to do harm.

When I say Malicious, I don't mean that someone does something with the intention of harm. Just that they had intentions, and the obvious outcome would be harmful. I genuinely think most actions I call "malicious" are made from ignorance and a lack of thought.

Ignorant is the same as Malicious to me.

And this is where I think an explanation and an excuse diverge in reality: an excuse seeks to rewrite the events by defining the entire action through one's own intentions while an explanation gives information to share in one's own perspective while understanding that their response did or had potential to cause harm and thus still apologizing for it.

And not an apology like "I'm sorry you feel that way" but taking accountability for the repercussions that may have occurred. Like in the case of myself, I could have accidentally made my other Anon out to be a fanatical hater who thinks of Medrano as the worst person when they really don't. And because I'm the one amplifying that potential characterization, it is my responsibility to correct it and take ownership of the negative impact my actions could have caused.

For Stolas in particular, the reason why the show never gets the feeling of an "explanation" is because it seems that Stolas never faces the repercussions of his own actions.

He is the one who starts the deal with the book, but it is Blitz who is put on trial.

Stolas is the one who instigates the sexual encounters throughout the show, but it is Blitz who is being unfair in New Moon and needs to apologize

It is Stolas who doesn't divorce his abusive wife and subjects his daughter to that home life/lying to his daughter about her own upbringing, but it's Octavia's fault for being hurt by it which is also framed as unreasonable.

There is no point where Stolas actually takes ownership of what he's done, and accept it. In New Moon, he "apologizes" for using Blitz, but when Blitz lashes put in confusion and anger (because he is taken off guard and Stolas is jerking him around by defining their relationship without his involvement, which is hugely disrespectful) Stolas doesn't accept that responsibility. He runs away, literally. He immediately goes into self-pity, which is why the "apology" in Full Moon is an excuse.

The whole problem in their relationship is that Stolas defines every aspect of it alone. He makes the deal up without input from Blitz (who is socially and materially powerless) and in the same way he made the deal, he ends it; entirely without any input from Blitz. The way Stolas doesn't just connect with Blitz about how he has been feeling. Instead he talks down to Blitz by saying the deal is "wrong", as if Blitz is a literal child and wouldn't understand what Stolas has been doing to him.

Stolas' whole apology actively takes agency away from Blitz by the simple way he does it: without consultation.

And this is the exact same problem in his relationship with Octavia. He assumes he knows best for everyone, and then says he isn't valuable enough to take care of himself in the service of others, but that's actually a form of narcissistic grandiosity. He places himself on a pedestal through his martyrdom.

I get if that seems paradoxical but it is something you find most often in people who suffer religious trauma. Jesus Christ is the ultimate martyr who suffered and died for our sins. And in regards to Stolas' behavior, it is a parody of that construct, and it's something a lot of mentally ill people do in real life.

And this is what Bojack Horseman, the show, calls "Good Damage". That someone's suffering and pain happens for a reason, even if it isn't a cosmic reason like being some religious Messiah. Bojack Horseman is a very non-denominational show with no clear religious affiliation, so much of this kind of philosophy is filtered through a godless lens and into existentialism. By which I mean there is not an inherent reason for things to happen. There is no God to will for people to die and there is no afterlife that we are striving to secure. So like Existentialists Søren Kierkegaard and Albert Camus explain, we have to make that meaning for ourselves.

Diane is the best example to show how this sort of martyrdom is a form of narcissistic grandiosity and how trying to make one's suffering mean something is actively harmful to one's own mental health and our relationships.

"Because! If I don't, that means that all the damage I got isn't Good Damage, it's just damage. I have gotten anything out of it and all those years I was miserable was for nothing ... I thought that everything, all the abuse and neglect, it somehow made me special."

This is textbook grandiosity. This is the core of most personality disorders, in fact. Specifically in the sphere of cluster B personality types such as Borderline Personality Disorder, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and Anti-Social Personality Disorder.

This is a coping mechanism. It's shifting the narrative of what happened so that it wasn't just something unfair and painful that you went through for no reason. It's a way of preserving a sense of self as a child, in the face of abuse and neglect, to just be able to survive and just keep living. It's making some purpose because if you don't have one, why keep living.

It's something I lived through. I'm currently in remission for my diagnosis, but that isn't the same as cured. Being in remission just means a reduction or absence of symptoms, but that doesn't mean that the disordered thoughts are gone. Symptoms are just what others see, not what is going on inside your head. You have to consistently choose to not engage with those disordered thoughts and feelings, and you have to make that active choice to not be that person any longer.

Stolas never has to suffer the costs of his own behavior, instead his character is still very quickly on that downward trajectory. And, frankly, that's not an actual problem!

Stolas maybe hasn't hit his stride as a character, but the issue is that Blitz has. The confusion for most people exists, then, in how the world has changed for Stolas while Stolas has stayed the same. Change comes when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing. It's true in life as it is in storytelling. Mental health doesn't get better until we choose to change.

But Blitz changed for no reason. In fact, his pain has been and still is caused by Stolas. And seeing as Blitz, not Stolas, is the main character, perhaps fans can be more forgiving over the fact that Stolas is still seen as the villain for a good amount of people.

There sure is a lot of emphasis on himself throughout all this "giving" he's done. And all it does is prove Blitz in New Moon correct. This is a bizarre show that genuinely doesn't understand that there is no good damage, just narcissistic martyrdom. And like all narcissism, it is toxic, manipulative, and corrosive.

There is no genuine love shown by any character in this series.

[stonathandreamer]

Regarding the Duffers' "hate" of Jonathan...

(Warnings: this post is an absolute maelstrom of emotions. It contains mild "anti Stancy," "anti Jancy," and "anti Nancy." Keep in mind that these are my personal opinions on the matter. Don't bother trying to make me change my mind, you'll just be losing your time. Haters will be blocked. Also, it's super long, like, Avengers: Endgame movie length long.)

I don’t think they hate him. How can you hate a character YOU created? Nah, it's ridiculous, even for their own ridiculous standards.

If they truly hated Jonathan, the Dumbers would have gotten rid of him in Season 3 or Season 2, giving some lame excuse like, "Oh, he graduated early and went to college," or they would have just killed him off. Jonathan's not a popular character, so the majority of people wouldn't care if he just disappeared.

No, they don't hate him. It's something else. Namely, fan service and bad writing.

I think fame went to their heads after Season 1 (remember, people didn't have faith that Stranger Things would be a hit back in 2016. David Harbour even said he thought the show would flop horribly), so I believe the Dumbers are trying really hard to appease the fans and keep their show popular. Now more than ever, considering they apparently want to create a Stranger Things Cinematic Universe with God knows how many spin-offs.

Looking back, some events from the series do seem like fan service, with the Dumbers wanting to appease the louder groups of the fandom. Billy's "redemption arc" seemed like an attempt to satisfy his fans—remember, the character of Billy was what Steve was supposed to be: a violent, abusive, and irredeemable jock who would be killed by the Monster. Irredeemable. And yet, they tried to redeem him. Steve's feelings for Nancy apparently returning in S4 also seem to be fan service to me, given that the fandom loves him over Jonathan, and Stancy shippers are more vocal than Jancy shippers.

Another contributing factor is bad writing. The Dumbers aren't great writers. They really aren't.

No one is perfect, I know, and we all have different opinions about everything, BUT they did Jonathan wrong ever since S1. That scene—yep, that one you're thinking about—permanently ruined his reputation in the fandom. It's the one thing his haters always bring up, and it's all the Dumbers' fault. How do you make the series protagonist, the supposed hero, do such a shitty thing?! It's bad writing, and it's something the Jonathan haters, the extremist Stancy defenders, and extremist Steve defenders always use against him. Funny, because they apparently forgave the "Nancy the Slut Wheeler" graffiti thing so quickly... 🤔 (or forgot? Or just act like it never happened?). Like, yeah, the girl's boyfriend and his friends called a teenage girl a slut, painted it on a wall for the whole town to see, but hey, everyone makes mistakes, right?

Two wrongs don't make a right, but Steve's actions fit his then-S1 persona, a.k.a. the season's teenage antagonist. Jonathan's actions don’t fit his role as the protagonist, the good guy, the supposed hero. The Dumbers just needed to move the plot, and the only thing they could come up with was to make Jonathan take those pictures. They made the protagonist (Jonathan) look bad and the antagonist (Steve) look good.

By doing so, Jonathan's popularity was doomed to decline, and when Steve became the good guy in Season 2, the fandom found their "Big Brother character," the kind, caring, and protective guy who always takes care of the kids—something the Dumbers seem to have taken a liking to, given how often they provide "Babysitter Steve" content to the fandom. While Jonathan, the actual kind, caring, and protective big brother, gets sidelined constantly. Painfully and criminally sidelined.

(Keep in mind that Jonathan has known those kids for years! He has known Mike, Lucas, and Dustin for years because they are his little brother's friends. Steve has known them for what? Two years?)

In this fandom, Steve's fans are more vocal, since they outnumber Jonathan's fans, and the Dumbers know that. They know how loved Steve is, which is why Steve's screen time increased in each season (S1: 23 minutes, S2: 33 minutes, S3: 45 minutes, S4: 78 minutes), while Jonathan's screen time DECREASED SEVERELY (S1: 57 minutes, S2: 32 minutes, S3: 27 minutes, S4: 59 minutes), and is doomed to continue that way in S5, apparently.

Fanon!Steve is Canon!Jonathan - or what Canon!Jonathan used to be.

Seeing Jonathan's popularity decrease, the Dumbers decided it wouldn't be worth focusing on him anymore since the majority of the fandom doesn't care about him. They decided to focus on other characters instead, which contributed even more to Jonathan's downfall.

Season 3 did him dirty. I don't like how he was treated there, how they made him seem to be in the wrong in his argument with his girlfriend, despite having valid points, how he was reduced into being Nancy's sidekick, having to put up with her shit while his own concerns (his need for money to help his family pay the bills) were invalidated. But Season 4 was his all-time low. Pretty much everything that defines Jonathan as a character vanished completely—his passion for photography, his love for music, his protectiveness of his family, his childhood dream of going to NYU, and even his car. Everything, gone. Yes, he and Will have a nice heart-to-heart talk that maybe made me sob, but keep in mind Jonathan still ignored Will for a while, something his past self would never do.

(Remember, every time something happened to Will, Jonathan always blamed himself for "not being there for him.")

Jonathan had everything to be a fan favorite: the kind heart and soul, the care for others, the love for his family, the selflessness, but he had the misfortune of having the Duffer Brothers as writers, who threw him under the bus and never bothered to call 911 after that.

They erased him almost entirely from the show, reducing him, a main character who's been around since Season 1, to a side character.

People say Jonathan's not interesting, that his plot line is boring, that he's not important, some even go as far as to offend his appearence, with offenses ranging from "he's ugly af" to "he looks like a crack addict". There's a human behind that character, and his name is Charles Ross Heaton. When you call Jonathan those things, you're not offending Jonathan Byers, the Stranger Things character, you're offending Charlie Heaton, the actor of Stranger Things behind the character of Jonathan Byers.

You have every right in the universe to find someone attractive or not—everyone has their preferences. I personally think Charlie is a handsome and good-looking fella (if only he quit the 🚬. Sorry, but I am concerned parent sometimes and I also have a natural aversion to that, because my respiratory system is super sensible to strong smells, especially of smoke, and even seeing one makes me uneasy). You don't find Jonathan (actually, Charlie) good-looking? It's your opinion and you're entitled to it 👍🏻. You don't find Jonathan (actually, Charlie) good-looking and called him a "crack looking addict," "a druggie," "someone who's clearly high on something all the time," or "an Elon Musk lookalike"? There's a line, buddy, and you just crossed it. You're being offensive, disrespectful, a jerk, and, above all, a motherfucking piece of shit and a waste of precious oxygen 🖕🏻.

Jonathan had so much potential.

He and Steve could have been friends (yes, I am making this about Stonathan; deal with it), since it was Jonathan who gave Steve the "wake-up call" (when Steve bad-mouthed his mom and brother, and Jonathan gave him a beating). It was Steve who bought him his new camera. And yet, these things are never properly acknowledged by the characters. Jonathan could have been such a good big brother to El when they were living in Cali, but the Dumbers thought "nah, weed is better for him." Their time in Cali could have strengthened the Byers siblings relationship, since now they're all going to the same school and are all teens. They could open up to each other, let out their frustrations, and ask for advice. Imagine a scene where Jonathan, Will, and El are all sitting in his room and are just talking about life, school, the future, goofing off like siblings. but nooooooooooo. Let's throw Jonathan into a dark corner and leave him there!

I fear for Jonathan's life in S5? Yes. Will he actually die? Hardly (IMO). A character's death is meant to impact both the other characters and the fandom, and while Jonathan's death would destroy the Byers completely, the fandom wouldn't care (some would even cheer and say "yay, now Steve can go back to his ex-girlfriend who was terrible to him and he was terrible to her and they can revive their terrible relationship and live terribly ever after!").

Jonathan is a character I relate to a lot; the loner freak with no friends who has to help his family stay afloat. I see Jonathan struggling with life and I think, "Fuck, this sounds familiar... Oh, wait." I see Jonathan being bashed and bullied by the fandom and I think how much these people would actually bully him IRL.

Stranger Things is a story where the freaks, the nerds, the geeks, and the losers win, and yet Jonathan doesn't seem to be having many wins for himself (and yes, I'm writing these final paragraphs while some tears threaten to spill). He's constantly sidelined and forgotten. Forgotten by the writers, by other characters, by Netflix, and even by the fandom.

Jonathan is my comfort character. I see a lot of myself in him and I wish the writers would have treated him better so that I could have looked at him and thought, "Fuck... We actually won." But alas, I fear this won't happen.

I fear Jonathan's story will continue to be the way it is and end with him being a sidelined guy people will quickly forget once the show ends. But I won't.

I will never forget Jonathan Byers.

I wish I could be alive for when Stranger Things fall into public domain, so that I could correct the mistakes they made to Jonathan and give the Dumber Brothers a big "FUCK YOU!"

Jonathan Byers deserves better. And so does Charlie Heaton, who also falls victim to constant sidelining.

JUSTICE FOR JONATHAN BYERS ✊🏻!

JUSTICE FOR CHARLIE HEATON ✊🏻!

And now, if you'll excuse me, I'll go cry in the shower for a day or two.

[vrachis]

ATTRACTION. (100 FOLLOWERS SPECIAL.)

—synopsis : the countless times you’ve seen her in many other ways, you couldn’t seem to stop yourself from coming back to her over and over again.

characters : yae miko x gn reader.

warnings ; breeding, desk sex, almost getting caught, size kink.

a/n : (omfg. u guys prolly read that one post abt me posting this but yeah, i decided to post it for once! im posting this at night w bad service, SO LOLLLL! dunno if its short or what but hope u guys eat this shi up tho LMAO)

NSFW UNDER THE CUT!

she could have never looked more pretty. you mean, she was always pretty. beautiful, stunning, and anything else positive used to describe her. she is simply, ethereal.

it’s no wonder that every time you lay your eyes upon her, all the air in your lungs seem to lessen. just because of the sight of a woman as such.

yae miko is someone who is incomparable to others, a woman out of another’s league. everything about her would lure you in, and maybe that was simply her intention.

from her looks to her personality, who wouldn’t fall prey to such charms?

well…

-… you just so happened to have done so.

at that point, you never knew who to blame. why?

well, it was your fault for falling for her schemes, that you’ve simply let yourself fall into her hands. and whatever you do, no matter what, you just seemed to keep going back to her.

as vexatious as it seems, it’s all the worth as long as you get something in return.

and here you thought you would be the only one coming back for more, but miko needed as much as you did.

she ached, and craved, any time she wanted. so as long as she knows she has you, she could never be more satisfied.

—

elicited mewls comes from the woman below you, and sounds of wood creaking violently flows along with the symphony of wet skin colliding with one another. when miko croaks out a gasp, her head falls against the wooden desk, the sheer sweat on her head cascading down to soak the oak.

as you keep a firm grip against her waist, your hips hammer in and out of her at a breakneck pace, your skin slapping against the fat of her ass. you let out a groan as you empty inside her once more, your seed spurting angrily into deep into her womb. you lean down to press a sloppy kiss to her cheek and sigh.

you let yourself finish inside her, and settle with slow thrusts. and as you slightly pull out, the mixture of both your fluids flow from her cunt, the erotic sight of it alone seeming to spur you on. it’s a sight you alone get to see every time you get with her, and you surely couldn’t feel more prideful enough at the thought of it.

“mm, you certainly have no end to your stamina, do you?” miko huffs. and of course she means that sarcastically, this woman loves how rough you can be.

you smirk gleefully. “of course, especially since you’re the one i’m doing.”

your response makes her chuckle weakly. “of course it is, what did i expect. it is me, after all.”

you two exchange a good laugh, until your eyes suddenly flash towards the door, where you see a roaming silhouette of one of the shrine maidens. miko seems to notice it as well, and she shushes you.

“l-lady yae, are you alright in there? i heard loud banging noises coming from here—“ the maiden worries.

“don’t worry about it. clearly just showing my displeasure.” she shakes. “now don’t worry your small little head, inagi. get back to work.”

you could’ve swore you almost let out a laugh on the spot. such a silly excuse, you thought. although… was your fucking not too rough for the maidens to not possibly hear her cries from outside? that couldn’t be possible, you thought. you wanted, no, needed everyone to know what exactly was going on in her office.

so as soon as the shadow of the now terrified maiden was gone, you could only press your weight down on the kitsune, your frame towering over hers as you lean down to nibble on her sensitive ear.

you knew miko could sense something was up from that action you just did. so you feel her squirm under you, her body still slightly shaking but seeming to push you off.

“now what? still rowdy enough to go?” she tests.

you could only hum low in response while you kept orally assaulting her ears, the fluffy parts of her seeming to twitch beneath your lips.

“why aren’t you answering me?” she grumbles. you could tell she was impatient by the time you felt her grinding against your crotch once more, evidently urging you to continue your sessions.

although you want to give it to her, you thought, giving her a little taste of her own medicine wouldn’t hurt, right?

“make sure you better be louder this time. i want them to know what exactly happens in here.”

your response seems to have given her a new wave of excitement, given the fact you feel her grinding getting more sensual, as if it has a mind of it’s own and starts to demand.

“and how exactly do you plan on doing that, mm?” she taunts. you place a finger under your chin, pretend posing as if you were to ponder. what a foolish question to ask, you thought. you thought she would’ve known by now, but it seems she just wants to hear it actually come from you.

but no, you’ve had enough expressing yourself. you’ve said enough words and done enough actions, what more so than to have her voice her needs out instead?

so you smirk, looking down mischievously at the kitsune.

“why don’t we settle for what you want? after all, you’re the one who seems to be aching for something.”

she scoffs at you unbelievably. “do you seriously want me to tell you what exactly i need? look here. you know just what i want, so give it to me. don’t make me say it.”

you sigh exasperatedly. “where’s the fun it that? after all, weren’t you the one aching for me to fuck you earlier? just beg this once, and all of this will continue.”

you hear her grit her teeth from below you, then an annoyed exhale. “fine. but you better stick to your words and listen carefully because i’m never letting you hear this again for the rest of how long you’ll live.”

you chuckle triumphantly. “hah. bring it on.”

[heeliopheelia]

"i think i've always loved you" (jungwon x reader)

genre: fluff word count: 0.9k requested by @miukityy-deactivated20230802 ♡

masterlist

The hallway is unusually silent as you walk through the empty school with an injured Jungwon hanging on your neck. It's an irony, really, that you, out of all people, have been chosen as the one to walk him to the nurse after he'd hurt his ankle in a result of bumping his head with one of his teammates and falling down roughly.

"How's your leg?" You ask to somehow fill the silence, hand gripping his waist tightly.

He shoots you a pointed look before scoffing with slight amusement. "Not the best," he hums, finding humor in your shy words. "I think it might be twisted."

"That would suck," you murmur quietly.

This finally gets a laugh out of him. "Why are you still so awkward around me?" He chuckles, pinching your side playfully. "You really have no reason to be, after all those years. Makes me think you hate me or something."

He's teasing, you know that. But still, his words make you squirm a little because they couldn't have been farther from the truth.

You know it's weird that you're still so tense around him even though you've been, more or less, friends for such long time. But you like to tell yourself that your behavior is absolutely excusable. Because how else is one supposed to act around their long time crush without blowing their cover?

You lower your head, deciding on an honest answer this time. "Funny cause I always felt like you're the one who hates me."

Jungwon snorts from your ridiculous thought. "That's crazy. C'mon, everyone knows I've always liked you." His confession does little to pacify your already pounding heart and just when you think about letting it slide, he goes on almost as if someone treated him with an honesty potion. "No, scratch that. Actually, I think I've always loved you."

The quiet, almost embarrassed mumble just can't go past your ears this time, completely disregarding Jungwon's deepest wish that you didn't actually hear his words. Your body tenses up as you halt your steps, head shooting to the side to cast a shocked glance at Jungwon.

Did you hear that right or are you just this far gone into your delusion?

"What?" You manage to stumble out. His arm wrapped around your shoulders all of sudden leaves a nearly burning trace behind and you shiver slightly. "You really must've gotten it hard in the head, huh?"

Jungwon strangles a groan that bubbles up in his throat, knowing well that this slip up was no one else's fault but his. Oh God, he's really doing this. Running his free hand over his face, he unsuccessfully tries to shake off the sudden nervousness spreading over his system like some kind of a parasite.

"No, what? I wasn't- Okay, fuck, whatever," he breathes out quickly, stumbling over his words and slightly loosening his grip on you to face you better. "I'm in love with you. I mean it. I've been ever since you barged into my class and hit Riki's head with this brick-ass notebook of yours."

You flush at the mention of the memorable momentum from over four years ago. With ears burning, you forget about his injury for a hot moment and step away from his touch, the sudden movement catching Jungwon off guard and causing him to stumble forward with a whine, right back into your smaller frame.

"Shit, I'm so sorry," you rush out the apology, arms instinctively finding their way around his middle again, keeping him steady.

You're left breathless, feeling absolutely each and every emotion striking your heart one by one. And in this moment, looking up at his ever so pretty face, cheeks slightly flushed with pink and eyes wide with nerves; you decide to show your answer through actions rather than words.

So you raise to your tippy toes and capture his lips with yours without even a hint of hesitation. Even if Jungwon's heart literally jumps out of his chest, all hair rise up on his arms and world nearly halts to a stop – he never lets you know any of these things as he dips his head down, allowing you to get more comfortable and settle back on your feet, kissing you twice as intensely as he finally lets go of all the pent up tension in his body.

He presses his lips deeply to yours, drinking every quiet sound that you make as his hand makes its way up to your face, fingers brushing your skin so gently in the total contrast to his relentless mouth biting and bruising yours.

And fuck him for not growing the balls to confess to you sooner.

You let his desperate lips do anything and everything to yours right now, ignoring the tingling that guarantees they're gonna be swollen and burning after he pulls away. But you're way too infatuated and greedy to loosen your grip around his neck.

You're unwillingly forced to break the kiss when your lungs feel as if they're about to collapse, so with one, two, three more pecks to his wet lips, you take a step back, yet not far enough from him to not feel his heavy breath on your face.

"I might like you a little too," you can't help but tease quietly, now finally content with your feelings and watching giddily as a fond smile makes its way to his red lips.

He hums, hands moving to your hips. "Only a little?"

"A tiny bit," you keep the banter up, squirming with a squeal when his fingers dig into your sides in a tickle.

permanent taglist: @bambisgirl @arizejkt19 @luvmura @milisabunny @cathy-1997 @satoruskitchenrag @ramenoil @jenjnk @jaylaxies @yoongspi

[starlightshadowsworld]

Descendants except Ben is actually very not cool with the love potion cookies.

But he doesn't release the news. Because he knows how badly it will reflect on the VK's as a whole. He knows they'll all be punished and lose even the fragile hope of ever escaping the island.

Ben won't do that to them. He was always too selfless for his own good. But he's also hurt and afraid for the first time he's been with Mal.

She looks confused and he almost laughs.

"What? Did you think I'd be okay with this? I humiliated myself infront of everyone, I've lost my girlfriend and the trust of my friends because of you."

Ben shakes his head so this was karma.

"You played with me. Just like everyone said you would. I didn't believe them because I wanted to give you a chance."

Lot of good that did him.

"I won't tell."

That suprised her and he smiled. All polite and professional and she flinched at the sight of it. They'd all grown accustomed to Ben's real smile.

"I'd be sentencing every VK to ever exist. No one else would get the chance if this got out. So no need to curse me, or whatever it is you want to do."

"I wouldn't curse you" said Mal and it hurt more than it should that he didn't believe her.

But why would he? He had no reason too. Ben simply smiled again and left. He told Audrey a lie, grovelled and apologised, a prank gone wrong and he was so sorry.

He was even if it wasn't his fault.

Ben moved out the way when Jay tried to put an arm around him. He focused on Doug whenever Carlos tried to speak to him. Made an excuse when Evie made herself known.

And steered clear of Mal at every turn. Eventually Mal told them all what transpired and to their suprise they shared her feeling of guilt.

They'd never cared how their actions would affect others. Maybe it was because Ben had been the first person to truly see them. To see not children of villian's but children.

The mission didn't feel as important now. Disappointing their parents didn't seem nearly as bad as knowing Ben may have just given up on them completly.

He had treated them as he treated everyone else. He was a safety net in an unfamiliar world, warmth when they'd only known cold.

That net was gone and they had no one to blame but themselves.

And Ben was still protecting them by hiding the truth. He could've had them hunted down and imprisoned but he chose to leave them free.

Oh sure he kept an eye on them, but it was to ensure they wouldn't hurt anyone else. Ben didn't care they'd hurt him, like the true hero that he was.

... Maybe it was time they returned the favour and protected him too.

[fashion-foxy]

You know something that's odd to me? How weirdly the child of the Beauty and the Beast get handled in media. (Obviously, my only examples are EAH and Descendants, but walk with me on this.)

The Beauty is someone who will, for better or for worse, always see the best in everyone. They are kind and good-natured but is usually someone who still holds people accountable for their actions and intentions, not what the Beauty thinks their intentions are.

The Beast is someone who typically does not look past the surface level of a person out of stupidity or willful ignorance. The Beast is also very selfish ,closed-minded , and stubborn. Unfortunately , that means in retellings, the Beast is the only one to go a character arc, and the Beauty comes off as judgmental or too forgiving.

Both characters being foils means that it could be a bit challenging to portray a character that is a result of both of those personalities, but if done right, it creates a very interesting character!

So, what did EAH and Descendants do with what they were given?!

Well, for starters, a bad job, but you already knew that. Let's take a look at Rosabella Beauty and Benjamin Florian No Last Name Given. (Idk most Descendants characters don't have last names)

Rosabella is judgemental, which could definitely actually be a super cool thing that she got from her dad, but based off the fact that she didn't go on an arc and it didn't get presented as a character flaw, I suspect this was accidental. Which is real shame. It would've been a really cool concept to explore Rosabella actually being the Beast.

She is also, by not getting any meaningful character development, giving off major 'I could fix him' vibes with Daring. Except, she's ignoring what's actually wrong in his life and looking at surface level interpretations of what she thinks he's like. Then, deciding he's a self-centered narcissist who she needs to fix so he meets her standards. Hey, wait a spell. She kind of seems to embody more of the Beast characteristics than the Beauty's. I wonder if the writers might have had other plans but were forced to change her into something else or perhaps Mattel wanted to sell a doll of her and Daring so they had to awkwardly force a relationship and not use their original plans?

Ben is way too forgiving. When we first see him, he says that he wants to give the Isle kids (kids who were born to villians who've been trapped in a magic prison all their life) a chance at a normal life, which is great! It's probably one of the best things a 16 year old king could do. So when's the next time he forgives someone? When he tells Mal that he knows she drugged him. So, it's at this point where you kinda realize that he isn't being too forgiving he's trapped in an abusive relationship. Once he sees that Mal realizes the implications of that, he goes back on it, and he tells her that it's not that big of a deal that it's ok that he still loves her.

When's the next time something like this happens? When Mal tries to erase some of his memories after catching her lying about using magic. He obviously yells at her because that's a fucked up thing to do. She downplays the situation and makes excuses. Shortly after, she runs back to the Isle. Ben, assuming that she had the best intentions, blames himself and ultimately gets kidnapped and then drugged again. All of these interactions are all portrayed as 'his fault' and that he'd deserved everything that happened to him because he was holding Mal responsible for her actions. In the third movie, he even stops doing it. Hades asks him why an Auradon kid gets to be excused and why everyone on the Isle doesn't, and he looks at Mal but ignores the question. Mal doesn't answer because she's the reason this Auradon person (Audrey) is hurt because she ruined her life and is currently being excused by everyone, including the writers, but Audrey won't. Ben definitely won't.

So, aren't these the best portrayals of the Beauty and the Beast characteristics? Because mixing the traits incorrectly. If Ben was given more Beast characteristics than just roaring sometimes. Mal wouldn't be abusive if their were actually moments where Ben was being unreasonable and too quick to draw surface level conclusions.

Rosabella wouldn't come off as rude and judgemental if she was given more Beauty characteristics. If Daring was actually self-centered and Rosabella considered others and thought about others instead of drawing conclusions.

[bobosbillionsknives]

i agree with a lot of your points about knives, i do also think he is aroace of some kind (demi imo), but the way he ignores bodily autonomy wasn't a theme that was new to stampede. the way he consumes other plants and forced vash to use his angel arm are examples of it, though less explicitly 'sexual'. either way, his actions weren't born out of sexual attraction, he simply thinks that all plants are an extension of himself and he can use their bodies as he pleases since its for a 'greater purpose'. he is not a predator but he isn't innocent either

Oh no no no no no no no I do NOT wanna give the impression that I am genuinely defending knives is ANY way. 😭

I completely agree with everything you're saying. He is inarguably abusive. Saying he's not would be a wild ass claim to make. 🙏 My only argument here is that it isn't specifically sexual, but I'll get more into that in a bit. 😝 I have SO MUCH to say abt this...so I'm gunna use this as an excuse to word vomit on y'all. Thank you for bringing this to me I am itching.CRAVING to talk about my favorite girls always. 🤗💖

INSANE ESSAY POSTING LETS GOO !!!

I think your point on Knives seeing the plants as an extension of himself is SPOT ON!!! He does the same thing with Vash too. He's doing it because hes so stuck up his own ass he seriously thinks there is no possible way he could ever be wrong, everyone else is just too blind or stupid to see it his way. That's why he does the whole "eternal suffering for Vash the Stampede" bit. He genuinely cannot comprehend that Vash just fundamentally disagrees with him. He thinks if Vash goes out and sees every horrible thing a human can be he'll finally give up the hippy dippy act and face this false reality Knives made up as a coping mechanism so he never has to actually face any of his problems. Cause stabbing all your problems away is waaaaay easier than actual growth or change. Top ten girls who are trapped by the horrors of their past 😂!

Knives has a blatant misunderstanding of people's worth outside of himself. He disregards the lives of others constantly, he literally murdered 20 mil+ and was genuinely confused when Vash was mad at him for it. He doesn't take anything seriously. He especially doesn’t take physical pain seriously, unless it’s happening to himself. [DID YOU ACTUALLY SHOOT ME!!?] He's said that he knows none of the crazies he sends after Vash can ever kill him. He thinks if they can't kill him, then none of the hurt Vash experiences during these fights really count. Its always a game to him. He knows Vash will be fine because he has faith in his ability to fight. (He's complimented his fighting skills several times lol.) Yet he’s consistently shocked and disgusted when he sees Vashes scars, like he didn’t play a role in that ??? He just never thought of it until it was literally staring him in the face.

HE THINKS EVERYTHINGS A DAMN GAME !!!!!

Knives never really wants to force Vash to agree with him either, he's literally waited decades for him to come around to his point. He's definitely lashed out violently before, and has disregarded his safety. But I don't think he actually even likes seeing Vash in pain 😭 (maybe a little in a Itoldyouso brother kinda way lol.) He's completely horrified when he sees his scars. This panel speaks absolute VOLUMES to me. He is angry that Vash would allow people to hurt him this much. (Bro is for sure a victim blamer 🥱 Vash OBVIOUSLY should've known humans are evil and would do this to him. 🙄 HIS FAULT !) Those scars solidify in his mind that his brother is reckless, and clearly doesn't know what's best for himself. That's why he feels the right to "save" him from humans. Knives out of anyone in the world knows how much Vash disregards his own life. He's angry that his own brother would choose the perceived violence of humanity instead of the safety he has worked SO hard to cultivate for over a hundred years. After everything they learned from their childhoods, Vash would have to be deaf and dumb to keep crawling back to them. (From his perspective anyway.)

Everything Knives does he thinks is to better Vashes life. That's what makes him such a tragic character to me. He genuinely believes he's in the right and doing everything he has to so him and his brother can feel that safety that was never guaranteed to them in childhood. He loves Vash, (PLATONICALLY !!!! 😰) He wants Vash to be happy. He just doesn't understand why, that despite everything, living alongside the humans is what makes him happy. Something he only accepts at the end of trimax when he literally trees himself to assumed death so Vash could have that. Knives is unambiguously in the wrong, but I do think his thought processes are sympathetic. WRONG. But like .I get it girl. Besides, he acts more like a toxic mother than anything. How DARE you be so ungrateful after everything I've ever done for you that you've never even asked for. ✋😒 and EXPLICITLY told me not to do. Ugh. 🙄 you don't even love me…guess im just a terrible brother than huh…🥀 BITCH SHUT UP !!!!

Now about the asexuality, not only...do I think Knives is aroace. I think he's completely sex REPULSED!!!!! Sex is a mark of human degeneracy, animals clinging for power over each other. Hed think hes above it !! It would disgust him, I don't think he's ever had a sexual thought in his life. He’s also a Jesus freak he'd think procreation in general is a sin 🙄‼️ik his interpretation of the bibles gotta be INSANE. Exploring sensuality is like a normal and healthy thing to do no fucking WAY Knives is self aware enough to do all that. If he could experience any kind of libido, his hatred of humans would never allow him to explore it anyway. Since sex is such a huge part of human culture. He probably thinks consensual sex is a myth humans made up to assault each other easier…😭

this is literally him bro I can't see him any other way...🚬 He's literally a pearl clutching mom who refuses to understand anyone else's experiences because he doesn't understand them.

I can't imagine him being able to feel romantic love either...I actually think it would be pretty out of character ngl. Plus I think it could be an interesting element of why he feels so disconnected from humanity in general. It would be part of why he feels the need to define himself as alien. Knives would rather die than admit this, (and he did) but all he's ever wanted was understanding. The same way Vash does. Knives doesn't understand sexuality/romance, or deep empathy, or most social confinements at all. That's clear by his inappropriate emotional reactions and lack of a filter. He can't feel emotions the same way Vash or Rem can. It makes it very difficult for him to relate to and connect with others. Especially Rem. He feels too wrong, too broken, too alien. But he's convinced himself that this is actually a superiority. So he can sleep at night. But he's far more human than he'll ever be willing to accept. The familial love he feels for Vash is the only thing that makes him feel normal. And it's why he clings to it so desperately. I think that feeling being explicitly familial makes the most sense for the story.

(cut for explicit talk of SA/CSA)

Im never one to dismiss bad actions from a fictional character. If I thought Knives was a sexual abuser, id say it. I even considered it before I watched/read Trigun and kept it in mind the whole time because of how prevalent of a take it is. If anything, I feel like theres more evidence for metaphorical depictions of Knives BEING sexually abused than being the sexual abuser. I mean his literal whole thing is how plants bodies are used and abused against their will. Solely for the humans gain. While it's slowly and painfully killing them. And how afraid he is that they'll do it to him too....😭 He would be absolutely HORRIFIED by SA. I just don't think it's an abuse he'd perpetuate. It goes against literally everything he stands for. I get he’s a hypocrite and all but I could just never see Knives of all people doing anything sexually ever. ESPECIALLY for his own pleasure.

Both Vash and Knives read to me as CSA victims. This would need to be a separate post all together because there is entirely just too much to say. But I feel very strongly about this interpretation and it's why I'm so firm on this. Sexual abuse is a huge theme in trigun OBVIOUSLY!! And Vash and Knives can easily represent different ways people cope with trauma like that. Knives gets angry, and bitter, and lashes out. While Vash shuts himself off, and tries to run away from it all. Two extremes from two brothers. Two sides of the same coin and all that. They've been victimized, I think it's the main reason why Knives would be so angry and distrustful of humans. Now I know Steve was kind of a throw away character from the anime- but I believe long term interpersonal abuse from a human early in life would explain a lot of the deep rooted hatred Knives has for humanity. Along with his hatred for Rem if she failed to protect them, and his deep sense of entitlement to protect Vash if Vash couldn't protect himself. (Tesla was the last straw for Knives bc at least for a while he thought he could trust Conrad till all that happened and he realized the only person he could ever trust was Vash, and that fear never really left him even 100+ years after.) (My interpretation of Conrads role is also a different post gerrrrr TOO MUCH TO SAY.)

Knives' ideology has always been inconsistent, I can easily see him disregarding autonomy in some ways but refusing to in others and never making a mental connection between the two. Plus Knives would think Vashes scars are shameful and disgusting. He probably cant even make himself look at him let alone touch him be so fr. Knives' definitely has an unhealthily attachment to Vash but not in a sexy sex or ROMANCE way 🤦‍♂️ ITS JUST HIS BPD YA’LL 😝‼️#favoriteperson #extremefearofabandonment #vashkeepsleavinghim (also another separate insane essay post) there is no argument here that Knives isn’t extremely bad at emotional regulation. Familial/platonic dynamics like that happen literally all the time it’s just not evidence of anything to me. I can't even see Knives directly punching someone let alone be capable of sexual violence against his own BROTHER ? I'd argue he's far more verbally/emotionally abusive than he ever is physically anyway. He doesn't even kill directly, it's always either done without a second thought by his powers, indirectly by starving the population out, or by making other people do it for him. He doesn't seem to actually enjoy seeing people in pain, more the satisfaction of a job well done. I don't see why this wouldn't apply to Vash too? He doesn't even usually initiate their physical fights. Vash does. (He has every right to, for the record. Knives just doesn't comprehend why Vash would be mad so he always tries to talk like everything is normal. Lol.) And when they are fighting he always puts his hand on his face ?? More annoying than a direct indication of violence. He could just punch him or something but he doesn't? Like violence in Trigun isn't a thing known to happen. Idk I think that's interesting and worth exploring a bit yk ???

Obviously he chopped his arm off I'm not saying he's innocent there either, just that he's more likely to be emotionally manipulative than explicitly interpersonally violent LOOLL. He didn't chop off his brothers arm because he enjoyed it, to him that pain is neutral. It was just a super casual reminder. But SEXUAL violence is completely different, sure it'll leave scars but you can heal from physical pain all day and night I mean commooon it barely even COUNTS as real pain. (Because he rarely has to experience it.) (A certain someone's got a major empathy problem.) And if it kills you it doesn't matter cuz you're already dead 😝!! But SA is different. It's his worst fear and greatest agony. It's something he knows sticks with you your whole life, he doesn't think that's a wound capable of being healed. (So he never tries and chooses to live in constant fear and anger instead.) That's how I see it anyway...🤕 Again it's not like he's a reasonable guy he is known to be a bit unstable idk if u knew...

Actually if anything, I think Vash would be the more interpersonally violent of the two. (Vashes abuse is always reactionary tho he would never act like that if Knives would just be normal lol he is not the aggressor here.) I can't see Knives punching Vash but I could VERY easily see Vash punching Knives ykwim ??? (For trimax anyway, ik kid Knives beats the shit out of him in 98 which I DO think is funny. But I don't accept into my personal canon okay LISTEN we are talking about a lot of conflicting characterizations here. JUST HEAR ME OUT. ✋) Knives never even really blames Vash for BLOWING HIS LEGS OFF in July too, which I always thought was so interesting. It makes me think this is actually a common thing for them to the point that they don't even argue about it outside of "are you actually aiming at me again 🙄?" Which is more bitchy than angry. Like ugh I can't believe you. Typical, typical Vash. 🥱 He'd probably use it as a way of proving to him that they are the same. And despite denying it, Vash would actually agree and feel a deep sense of shame abt it. He's had 150 years of pent up anger after all. He almost killed him with a rock once lol. I'm tired of everyone woobifying Vash as some kind of perpetual uwu victim. Vash is fucking mean sometimes. He is just as capable of violence as Knives is. The same way Knives is just as capable of great kindness. It is known that Vash is in fact physically STRONGER than Knives. (With his plant powers and id assume in general because Vash actually goes outside while Knives reads in his garden all day.) I truly believe that the only reason Knives ever wins the sibling fights is because of Vashes constant hesitance. He's not a battered wife stereotype. All Vash wants is control over his own life, the last thing he'd want to see himself as is a helpless victim. It's why he always pretends nothing is ever wrong with him. It's why he doesn't accept help, and values other people's problems far above his own. His kindness was always an active choice and that's why he's such a powerful character. And Knives would bring out the absolute worst in him LOOL all that work he's done to better himself is instantly thrown out the window the second Knives' very punchable face walks in the room.

He was fighting absolute demons not to run over and beat tf out of Knives in this panel

This is why I feel so disgusted by stampede and the way they handled their relationship. They've dumbed down these characters to the point that they are unrecognizable. Literally every aspect of stampedes portrayal of them feels like a first conclusion based on a synopsis of their goals and personalities. I get there's only one season but that's a LOT to fuck up in one season bro. 😭. There is absolutely no salvaging Nai as a character for me. I'd cover my drink around that guy I find him genuinely repulsive. At least with trimax, you can read around an initial sussy reading if you wanted. How anyone defends Nai, I don't even know. That whole plant insemination thing is pretty on the nose y'all. Literally doesn't even make sense for him to do that like? Why would he want more independent plants??? It's like they tried to make Knives' motivations make sense when the whole point should be that they don't. He's fighting ghosts out of fear. Stampede wasn't even good enough to justify its own existence by how it looks. Adding peculiar plant pregnancy preggo fetish incest bait is just the turd on the turd cake. They ruined the most compelling part of the story for me. Pfft.... But whatever...🚬 not like I care ....🚬

Not to mention Legato y'all don't even get me started. The guy that HATES humans more than anything in the world taking in a HUMAN -SEX TRAFFICKING VICTIM. The one time he's ever taken pity on a human being and it was someone who was the victim of a violent sex crime. Yeah guys that dude. Total raper. Defo a brother diddler. What the fuck are we talking about right now y'all. I genuinely feel like sexual violence would be the last thing knives would ever do ever. I understand that there are sus scenes in the manga that could be interpreted this way, but considering the many themes in Trigun and his place in the story as a whole, I think it is such a misrepresentation. And it frustrates me to see it as one of the only things talked about in regards of his character. If I could, I'd rewrite every scene in the world so people could understand what I see, but I can't. And I know I can't control how other people see the media I like. Trigun is extremely interpretive, and I understand why this is a common conclusion. But I guess I just can't shake the feeling that it's more complicated than that. I have criticisms with trimax and ESPECIALLY 98. And there's obvi a lot id change to fit what I'd find most interesting. (Also why every headcanon revolves around Knives somehow teehee) BUUUUUT I do think all of my analysis is pretty based in canon. I can't stress how insane I am about this and how much I've thought about it 🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕. Believe me, I've considered every obstacle. And I've stayed consistent.

Knives is a raper feels like the easy answer to me. To be completely blunt, it's just not as compelling. Vash and Knives would both have very complicated relationships with their bodies and sensualities and gender and their relation to their plantself and their humanself and blah blah blah whatever. I'd much rather explore that as a separate result of the same abuse than default to supercestsimulator69. Knives is already an abuser. Making him a sexual aggressor too doesn't really add anything to the story besides diminish and dumb down his very complex motivations. Vash and Knives should be very good friends who know each other better than anyone. (They are trauma bonded like CRAAAZZY, very codependent like y'all get it.) I think that would make their conflict SO much more interesting. While providing some great context to why Vash is so willing to give every horrible person he meets a second chance at life. If I saw my brother, who I love, and is my best friend in the whole wide world, slowly deteriorate under the pressure of the abuse we we're BOTH experiencing; go fucking crazy and kill everyone. And I KNEWW. He genuinely believed he was doing what he had to do to protect the both of us...I'd probably also give everyone the benefit of the doubt idk. Vash understanding Knives' motivations but still holding on to that (justified) resentment and anger is ESSENTIAAAL to their dynamic and also literally all of Trigun. Sexual abuse throws a rock in all of this. If anything I think Knives would tell Vash "I'm the only one who WOULDN'T assault you. They're human, they'll only see you for how useful you are. It's what they do. It's what you know they do. You're choosing them over me the same way Rem chose Steve over us." Knives' abuse is complicated and multifaceted, not just some gross display of power. He's not even the most power hungry character in the world. He's got a whole cult dedicated to him that he canonically IGNORES.

And he sure as shit doesn't respect people who are desperate for power over others!! He'd think he's above that too. Just more evidence of human deviance. (Like the scene in 98 where kid Vash and Knives are watching the humans fight over water. Animals who think one is more deserving of resources than the other.) He's narcissistic in the literal diagnosable sense but definitely not some kinda megalomaniac. I think that's a huge mischaracterization. He doesn't want to rule the world, he wants to destroy it. And he wants Vash to be his equal in this, he respects Vash. (as far as someone like Knives can respect anybody at all) He doesn't understand why Vash would choose to be so "dumb" because he's never allowed himself to feel the vulnerability of potential harm that Vash wants him to understand is worth it. It's why he locks himself away from the world, he's afraid of being victimized again. Knives' morals are all over the place, he genuinely doesn't think murder is bad but would consider sexual violence to be the worst thing anyone could ever do EVER. It's not like we're talking about the beacon of reason and consistency here y'all, Knives is cray cray sauce.

Anyway that's my thoughts, sorry this took forever to answer. 😿 And ended up being SOOO long.. I've on and off mauled over this writing and rewriting again trying to make any of my garbled thoughts make any sense. Hope it resonates with anybody at least bc I genuinely feel like I've been taking crazy pills lately LOOL. Take care of yourselves everyone. 💖 Never an easy subject to talk about.

[scoobydoodean]

reading your metas and realizing that the reason i find sam so annoying is that hes both obsessed with being a grown up who can make his own choices and isnt a child, and absolutely committed to never taking responsibility for his choices when push comes to shove.

hes a grown up when it comes to making decisions but not when those decisions have consequences

And it's very much on purpose in the writing, is the thing. This exact dynamic is one of the only lines of dialogue between Michael and Lucifer in 5.22 that really reflects Sam and Dean's more current conflicts (Recall that the lore here is that Lucifer twisted the first human soul (Lilith) into demonhood to spite God):

MICHAEL/ADAM: Oh, you know why! I have no choice, after what you did. LUCIFER/SAM: What I did? What if it's not my fault? MICHAEL/ADAM: What is that supposed to mean? LUCIFER/SAM: Think about it. Dad made everything. Which means he made me who I am! God wanted the Devil.

"Because someone wanted me to be bad, I have no choice but to be bad." The things that happen to us give us context and create room for sympathy, but they don't make our choices everyone else's fault. (And yes—free will does exist to Chuck's great frustration, or he wouldn't have had a season long tantrum about Team Free Will not ever doing what he wanted).

What's more, in this same conversation where Lucifer excuses his own actions as outside of his control, he tells Michael to defy their father's desires—something he just finished saying wasn't possible. He just said that he had to be exactly who he was meant to be, but he doesn't apply this same logic to Michael's God-given role. He only twists the narrative of their lives when it's about him, to make himself sound uniquely powerless. He assigns Michael all the culpability and control over how this fight goes down when Lucifer actively worked to bring this moment where they battle to fruition as well (including by stocking a mass grave in 5.10). It's manipulative bullshit.

How does Michael respond to all of this a few moments later? Before anything, by expressing resetment for Lucifer's refusal to take responsibility for his own choices:

MICHAEL/ADAM: You know, you haven't changed a bit, little brother. Always blaming everybody but yourself.

We can also reflect on the last time Lucifer threw himself a pity party about how mean his family is—to justify digging a mass grave into which he had dumped hundreds of bodies for a ritual to raise Death. He said it wasn't his fault then either—that Michael made him do it by betraying him—by refusing to stand by his side supporting his every decision (which, while framed as somehow making him powerless, strongly suggest a desire to control others feelings and for everyone including his older brother to fall in line behind him and do his bidding without question). It's never his fault. It's always someone else's fault for being mean to him.

[wolfertinger]

TW; abuse dynamics discussed and mentioned, + a couple of words I wish a therapist told people encaging in chronically awful behaivior towards others.

.

I don't understand why is this Wis ruining her whole reputation and art following etc. for the sake of defending a proven abuser.

She never had to.

She could've just made trans and queer art that made a lot of people happy, but chooses this destructive path instead.

It seems her worldview requires the myth that trans women are always misunderstood, lacking the agency to actually do harm like anyone else.

Why so? Does this myth bring so much relief to her that she's willing to make everyone hate her for the sake of parading a proven abuser as an innocent, misunderstood victim?

I've had to report on a person who shares a certain marginalized identity with myself, - and that I can easily identify with in how I see the isolation and out-of-placeness experienced by people in this demographic in said person, - and that made it particularly painful for me to tell on them.

It was a choice of "Who will I protect?" and I chose the vulnerable over them. It hurt but it isn't my fault the person did what they did. My responsibility as the witness was to say something and I did.

(Mind you, this was not a country with prisons similair to the US and this wasn't really dealt with on the level of police/law but within the close circle of people affected by the events.)

It was hard because I feel so deeply for folks who share certain familiar sorrows and pains with me. To add to that crushes me. It's even traumatic. But that person did something that could not go unaddressed. So I addressed it.

To Wis or anyone feeling like you identify with any aspect of someone abusive etc. and struggle to cope with seeing them held accountable;

I see your pain, but your pain is not the only pain.

There is an abuse victim out there, traumatized by that person.

It's the worst nightmare ever to be abused and not believed, having to watch your abuser get sympathy and care while people treat you like the problem for being HURT.

^This is what you, Wis, have been doing to Sawyer.

It's simply your responsibility to get over how bad you feel that a person sharing a marginalized identity with yourself (Mari and you being trans women) indeed abused someone.

You MUST develop the ability to cope with this, not only for your own wellness, - but to make the world safer and more fair for abuse victims.

Abuse victims are not monsters.

Having been abused by my own ex, - all I wanted was for him to DO BETTER AND NEVER HURT ME OR OTHERS AGAIN. + Actually admitting what he did to me + genuinely apologizing without excuses.

Wis, by continuing mistreatment of others, you make people hate you. Every step you take to double down makes things worse.

Injustice hurts.

Gaslighting and smear campaigning towards victims of injustice, multiplies that hurt.

....

If it's guilt of your own actions...

Take responsibility for yourself.

There will be people who won't like or trust you, but you are not entitled to others, especially anyone you hurt, comforting you or making you feel like a good person.

You must simply choose to be a good person without asking to be validated or praised for it. For having actual principles to go by, to actually want the world to respect everyone's human rights.

I see you share many fundraisers from Palestinians and while I'll NEVER call that a bad thing, the most influential thing we can do is starting from how we truly treat other people we encounter.

One's politics are weak if they are not applied relationally. Protecting abusers and hating on victims is not in alignment with being against fascism, because fascism is just systemic mass abuse basically.

Being good isn't about looks or reputation, or praise. It's just something we are supposed to strive towards, by being open to learn more and change.

Forgive yourself so you won't demand others forgive you. Other people have the right to not forgive you, but when you have that kindness for yourself, you can stop harming others, be accountable and CARRY YOURSELF.

You'll no longer try to control what's outside yourself, like you do now. (at the expense of hurting others with it)

Forgiveness to yourself means accepting with compassion that some folks want to stay away from you or hate you. And respecting their right to.

Stop trying to control other people's opinion of you or how people see folks you hurt.

You have no business deciding those things.

You can and should work on yourself.

It'll prevent more people from being hurt by you, it'll stop you from enabling abusers to hurt more people.

It makes more loving and meaningful friendships and relationships a true possibility for you, too. True change does that.

It's not any abuse victim's job to comfort you or tell you this. But this is basically what a therapist would tell you.

Admitting wrongs and deciding one must change is not a dead end, even though it's a moment of loss for some things in life, like certain relationships etc.

.

[holyghostflo]

The Tale of Two Portalmasters: The Deal

Hey, everybody! I'm finally beginning to post the story!

A lot has changed since I first talked about this premise earlier in the year, but I'm excited to show you what I've got.

Soooo enjoy the "Kaotic" shenanigans!

“Now, now… let’s be reasonable about this.”

Oh, it was FAR too late for that. 

The brain had (rather unwisely) chosen his side, and now he had to live with it. 

Specifically, he had to live with it while being trapped in a jar. A jar Kaos had specially picked out among many to stuff the one-eyed creature into while everyone else at the Academy slept, unaware that their greatest adversary had freed himself from his own glass prison in the middle of the night.

No one who dared to betray his supreme awesomeness would get off without receiving the HORRIBLE and AGONIZING consequences they so rightfully deserved! Kaos always made sure of that. -and this brain was no exception. Just because he was one of the so-called Ancients, didn’t mean he had the license to disrespect the former (and future) ruler of all Skylands!

“Reasonable?” the Dark Portal Master found himself hissing with sadistic pleasure, as he confidently tossed the jar from palm to palm, “You want ME to be reasonable?”

“Well, erm… y-yes.” the Ancient stammered, “I mean, come now, you can’t seriously still be holding a grudge from that time I left you to shoulder all the blame for our little Mind Magic fiasco, are you? If you really think about it, it kind of WAS all your fault, anyway. I didn’t ask for you to put on the Helm of Ultimate Wisdom, did I? Logically, if you had never sought my help, you wouldn’t be stuck back in the Skylanders’ bad graces.”

Kaos found himself pursing his lips in bitter indignation. This, coming from a brain that once claimed to be the smartest in the known universe? What a sorry excuse for an Ancient! He would’ve started laughing at the pathetic creature if he hadn’t been interrupted by an ANNOYING, yet all too familiar voice from behind.

“He’s got a point sir.” the grating voice whimpered, “Maybe it would be a better idea to lie low for a little while. Besides, I don’t see what kidnapping this brain is going to do for u-”

UGH. Of course! The only one FOOLISH enough to be doubting his brilliant plan in the heat of its brilliant unfolding would be his own twaddling butler, Glumshanks…

“SILENCE, FOOL! Can’t you see I’m in the middle of something?!” he snapped back at the cowering troll.

“Yes, sir…” Glumshanks muttered, lowering his head, “...sorry, sir.”

Satisfied with his sycophant’s response, the Portalmaster turned his attention back to his new prisoner.

“Now, do you know where we are, Brain?” he asked.

“I know everything.” the Brain quipped back, full of delusional superiority (a feeling Kaos knew he never was at risk of having, due to his every action being truly better than everyone else’s). “-but your butler is right. There’s no sense in dragging me all the way out here. These wretched Outlands are barren and, frankly, extremely boring. What, were you planning on using some scattered debris and dusty dark clouds to aid in your fruitless pursuit of conquest?”

At this, Kaos smirked. Then he giggled. A giggle that slowly turned into a wicked cackle, which then morphed into an all-out maniacal laugh.

“HA!” he exclaimed between breaths, “You really think I’m that stupid?”

“Do you truly want me to answer that question?”

“No, I don’t. Now silence!” the Dark Portal Master snapped. “You can’t fool me, Brain. I used to LIVE out here in these dark beautiful wastes. I know every nook and cranny, EVERY abandoned rock and EVERY shadow. -and I know for a fact that there’s something special out here. Something that will solve ALL my troubles.”

Kaos watched as the Ancient Brain shifted uncomfortably in his jar prison.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh!” Kaos, hissed again with an amused air, feigning shock. “-but I thought you knew everything.”

The Brain, not having a good response, simply grimaced back at his captor.

Bringing the jar level to his face, Kaos stared at his prisoner with a dastardly malicious gleam in his eye.

“The Ruined Palace… how do I get in?”

It was SO satisfying, watching the arrogant Brain’s attitude shift to shock and concern so quickly at his words.

“What?” he sputtered indignantly.

“You heard me. The old ruined palace at the very edge of the Outlands. During my first long and humiliating banishment, I’ve come across the thing a few times. Only to find, despite its ruined nature, the entire structure has been magically sealed off. Even with my totally awesome power, I couldn’t get the entrance to budge! Of course, this piqued my curiosity.”

“...so?” the Brain muttered back, seemingly less and less comfortable with the direction this conversation was going.

“So? No one goes through THAT much trouble to make something impossible to reach unless they have something to HIDE! I tried EVERYTHING to open that door; dark magic, an excessive use of extremely powerful explosives, ramming my own lair into the door to break it down… I even tried using Glumshanks' useless head to pry the door open!”

With this, Kaos quickly hopped up, snatched Glumshanks by his long, green, pointy ears, and pulled the troll down to his level, displaying his butler’s head to the Brain.

“See? He’s still got the scars to prove it!” the little man bragged, as his Glumshanks grunted painfully.

“Yes, well… good for you.” the Brain lilted, obviously unimpressed.

Kaos snickered wickedly, releasing his butler from his headlock.

“Oh, it will be… as soon as you tell me how to break the enchantment on the front door. I simply MUST know what’s inside.” he crowed, running one of his fat fingers upon the top of the Brain's jar.

“What makes you think that I know how to break it?” the Brain spat.

“Call it a hunch.” Kaos jeered. “Now…”

Holding the Brain’s jar in both hands, Kaos proudly marched over to the edge of the Outlandian rock they were standing on.

“Here’s the deal, Brainie, ol pal. Either you drop the info…”

The Dark Portal Master removed one hand and daintily held the jar’s top with his other, hovering it over the devastatingly deep, dark abyss below.

“...or I drop you.”

The Brain’s eye went wide.

“Oh, no no no no nooo.” he quavered, “There’s no need for that, now. I’m sure we can come to a more sensible agreement…”

Kaos simply just grinned and slowly removed his pinkie from the lid, leaving only three fingers between the Brain and a VERY long descent.

“Perhaps another go at the Skylanders? the desperate Brain inquired. “We can skip the whole ‘guacamole monster’ mess this time!”

Kaos removed another finger.

“I could give you anything! Riches! Unending fame! A love interest that doesn’t completely hate your guts! All of the above, even!”

The little man seemed to mull over this for a second.

“Hmmm, let me think about that…”

The Brain looked back at him with a hopeful eye.

“...nah.”

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

Give it to Me

Summary: In which Jonathan doesn't feel right taking the camera. Giving it back stirs something in Jonathan.

A/N: It could be a a one shot but if you guys wanted to leapfrog what you might think happens next in the reblogs, I wouldn't mind. Leapfrog: in which a person writes a little something off someone's story in a reblog for someone else to write a little something. I don't know if leapfrogging is a thing, but I would love it if it was. Would it be leapfrogging or leapreblogging?

Jonathan stared at the camera in Will's hand. He should feel happy that he was given a new one after Steve broke his other one. Steve had gone too far, hadn't he? He hadn't actually cared about Nancy or how she felt. All he wanted to do was to make Jonathan look and feel bad. He wanted to show everyone who was in charge. Jonathan shook his head. Maybe that's what he wanted to tell himself to make him feel better about what he did. It had been clear as day that Steve had been concerned about how Nancy would react, and he had gotten angry for her because she had been in shock. . .too stunned for words. It should have been Nancy to break his camera, and Nancy should have slapped him. No, Jonathan didn't deserve this camera. Not only did he betray Nancy in such an utterly fowl way, but he also betrayed his skills as a photographer.

"Jonathan?" Will asked.

"I need to go back in," Jonathan said and took the camera from Will. "Take this back. Come on."

"I can stay in the car for a few minutes, Jonathan," Will sighed.

"Will, please," Jonathan said softly.

"Fine," Will rolled his eyes.

He got out of the car with Jonathan and followed him back into the house. Jonathan could see Ted and Karen in the kitchen with Holly. Ted was holding her, and Karen was trying to get something out of her mouth. Holly was cackling. Apparently, she had eaten something she wasn't supposed to again. Will watched from the hallway, amused by the scene. While his brother was distracted, Jonathan slipped into the living room. Nancy was cuddled up next to Steve. Jonathan pushed away the jealous pang in his chest and stood in front of them.

"Oh, hey, Jonathan, did you forget something?" Nancy asked.

"Here," Jonathan said and handed her the camera.

"That's a gift," Nancy said in surprise.

"It's something I don't deserve," Jonathan said. "What I did. . .it was messed up, and I crossed a huge line. What's even worse is that I made up so many excuses and placed the blame on other people. . .but the truth is that I had plenty of time to stop and not do what I did. All I could see was you guys having fun when my brother was lost. . .It made me a little angry at first. . .then I realized that I was just jealous. . . I never had any friends or did anything like that. I suppose it was my fault because I pushed people away, and I used my camera to do it. I shouldn't have done it, and I want to earn it back. All of it," Jonathan said. "I'm apologizing to both of you, because you both deserve it."

Jonathan caught their eyes. Both of their looked at him softly and full of meaning. Nancy's eyes were a wide, beautiful blue that threw him off so much sometimes that he had to look anywhere else. He never noticed how beautiful Steve’s were until now. He always assumed that they were just brown but no. . .they were actually mostly a dark forest green with brown surrounding the iris. It reminded Jonathan strongly of the woods. Steve was looking at a curious realization as if he had just had a thought, and he wasn't sure why he did. Jonathan realized then that he wasn't that much different than Steve, and he wondered if Steve was thinking the same thing he was.

They both had fucked up. Steve, with his actions, or lack thereof, and words at the Hawk. He knew then why Steve had said those things. He had acted out of jealousy, out of hurt. . . Much like Jonathan did in the woods with Nancy. . . Jonathan had fucked up by taking those pictures, and he waited outside of Steve’s house for Nancy to come to her senses but there had been a part of him that wanted to follow her up the stairs. . . To watch or maybe, they'd let him be a part of whatever it was they were doing. When Nancy had told him that it wasn't okay what he had done, he wanted to continue to not take accountability for the photos because then it would mean something else. Instead, he yelled at Nancy and accused her of being like all the other girls Steve had dated. He had spent so long behind the camera that he had forgotten that people weren't just photographs. There's more to them than he had ever thought.

"I forgive you, Jonathan," Nancy said and pushed the camera back towards him. "You more than made up for it."

"I just - I haven't forgiven myself yet," Jonathan said and placed it on her lap.

Steve stood up, smiling at him. He held out his hand at Jonathan. He wanted to shake his hand. Jonathan stared at his hand longer than he should have. Steve cleared his throat, and Jonathan tentatively took his hand.

"Thank you, you saved my life. . .in more ways than one. I don't think I ever would have realized that there were more important things if it hadn't been for you and Nancy," Steve said. "And I forgive you, too."

"You give us too much credit," Jonathan blushed. "You made the choice to walk away from those assholes."

"It's not a big deal," Steve shrugged.

"Okay, now you're just fishing for a compliment," Jonathan said and Nancy laughed.

"Well," Steve said. "You know, you're welcome to hang out with us any time. . .could definitely use a friend like you."

Jonathan realized they were still shaking hands. . .well, they were holding hands. Steve had started rubbing circles into his skin with his thumb, and he made his eyes bigger, pleading with Jonathan.

"Why? So, I can sit around and watch you two makeout?" Jonathan asked.

"Well, if you're into that," Steve smirked. "You might want to ask Nancy if she'd be up for that."

"I am," Nancy smiled.

"Are you sure you don't want to take the camera?" Steve asked.

"Give it to me when I'm ready," Jonathan said.

"Give it to you when you're ready?" Steve asked, laughing.

"Yeah, what did I say that was so funny?" He asked as Nancy giggled. "Yes, give it to me when I'm ready."

"You're not hearing it, are you?" Steve laughed again.

"What's so funny about you giving it to me?" Jonathan asked.

Nancy bent over, laughing. Steve’s eyes twinkled with mirth as he gazed affectionately at him. He released Jonathan's hand and gave him a kiss on the cheek, much to Jonathan's surprise.

"Well, it looked fun when Nancy did it," Steve said. "And it was."

"I still don't get it," Jonathan muttered.

Suddenly, they heard a loud sound from the kitchen, Holly cackling, and Will bursting into laughter.

"HOLLY! THIS FIGURINE IS NOT SOMETHING YOU EAT!" Mike screamed. "DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TOOK ME TO PAINT THIS?!"

"You should be more worried that your sister almost choked on it!" Ted yelled.

"Michael!" Karen scolded.

"If she wasn't so cute, I'd - !" Mike start to yell.

"Do nothing!" They heard Holly taunt.

"I think that's my que to leave," Jonathan said. "Will!"

Will came back into the living room, laughing.

"Mike had freaked out because he couldn't find his d&d figurine, and it turns out Holly was hiding it in her mouth," Will said.

"Wasn't gonna eat it, Mommy!" They heard Holly yell. "Just hide it!"

"Why?!" Mike asked.

"You are a meaniehead!" Holly said.

"Yeah, time to go," Jonathan said. "Good luck with that."

"Thanks," Nancy said laughing.

"Bye Steve, bye Nancy!" Will exclaimed.

Jonathan walked out of the living room towards the front door. Smiling, he could still feel Steve’s lips against his skin, as though it had left an imprint there. . .burning its way deep inside of him. He touched his cheek as though he was trying to touch Steve’s lips with his fingertips. Yeah, he and Steve weren't so different. They both strived to do better, not just for Nancy, but for each other as well. They both knew what it was like to be alone and to feel lonely all at the same time. In some ways, Steve kept people at arms length in the same way that Jonathan had done, except instead of a camera, it had been Tommy and Carol. Fuck. Goddamnit. Not only was he hopelessly in love with Nancy, but now it seemed like falling for Steve Harrington, too. Shit, maybe that had always been the case. . .maybe that's why he had been so deadset on admiting that Nancy actually wanted to sleep with Steve because he didn't want to be honest with himself about wanting to sleep with him too.

"Jonathan?" Will asked.

"Oh my god!" Jonathan exclaimed. "I just got it! Steve! Seriously?!"

He heard Steve and Nancy laughing loudly as he finally left the Wheelers. Assholes. He laughed all the way to his car.

[9mysterybook6]

You dirty mouthed clown

Are you kidding me? I'm the one who suggested these videos for you.

And now you're trying to make some kind of excuse again you trash insect.

It is clear that you did not learn anything from them.

I'm at least I insulting you in Simple insult While you are making strong and dirty insult like your mouth

Plus you're a threat to me Not help you it just put you in a worse situation😏

your posts are just a cheap piece copying of my posts, you garbage

You really want to get kicked out of here, you harasser.

You are very stupid, you don't know what dates are.

Explain to me how your post comes first before mine while you imitate them in a bad way when I finish posting them.

What will be your excuse this time?🙄😑

What now are you going to say that I traveled through time and copy your future posts?🤣🤣🤣

You thought all these desperate attempts would stop me.

You are really stupid

You just add fuel to the fire with every response.

And as I said, I will not stop exposing you.

This is your fault, you son of a gun.

If you weren't such a toxic, abusive, harassing, and and a creep and bullying person to Everyone

You wouldn't find yourself in this situation here If you hadn't done what you did

You don't realize The position you are in, when people are being harassed by people like you.

They always pay the price for their harassment, bullying and crimes, just like you.

I teach you the hard lesson

And this lesson is that you cannot do whatever you want without consequences for your actions.

You are the one who harassed me when I was defending my friends from you

you Try to be my friend so I can be against prometheus2007 and be on your side But of course I reject your lies

Then you started harassing, bullying, attacking me and spreading lies about me.

And you stole my post and copy my post

Because I refuse to be with you

You made me do this

Because this is what happens to people like you.

This is your fault

I warned you to leave them alone but you didn't listen you clown insect

I just make you pay for your actions.

Anyway, it was only a matter of time before you messed with the wrong people.

And based on your actions, I am one of those wrong people

Even if it wasn't me it would have been other people who would have kicked you or done worse things to you.

So I advise you to delete your blog.

So that we can all rest from you

This is your fault and no one else's.

You are really a terrible person

Now you're making excuses to get away with your crimes.

Seriously, what is this?

Today, I'm going to doctor's office. (I'll be back for more soon, I hope you guys awareness about 9mysterybook6, until then)

You are such a liar

Going to the doctor is just a lie

This post is just a guilt trip and a manipulative

This is what you always do Rhylie, you try to win The compassion and sympathy From everyone to be on your side

After all, didn't you say before that you were actually dying and disappearing if pami do not unblock YOU

This is exactly what galacticsomewhat told you.

galacticsomewhat: IT IS! YOURE MAKING HER FEEL BAD BY PRETENDING THAT YOURE DYING

Rhylie: And can you ask her that I am asking her kindly to unblock me?, I am not trying to be manipulative or reliant or creepy.

galacticsomewhat: I BET IF I SAID SHE WOULD UNBLOCK YOU YOU WOULD BE JUST FINE

galacticsomewhat: YOURE SICK

Rhylie: look at my tail disappearing oh no, I am starting to fade away due by independence, can you please ask pami to unblock me before I disappear forever?

And like galacticsomewhat said, you really are a sick person who pretends to disappear into life forever and If people do not fulfill your requests and demands

So delete your blog now or keep making a fool of yourself until you get banned from here.😜

You are really digging your own grave.

[ryuzakemo128]

WIP

White Knuckles

Pairing: Tommy Miller x EX-Wife! Female Reader | Joel Miller x Tommy's EX-Wife! Female reader | Tommy Miller x Lucifera Thanatari (OC)

Content Warning: Cheating (You did this when you dated and before you married Tommy), Affair (The one you had with Joel for the entire relationship). Swearing. Cursing. Hint at possible remarriage for Tommy while you seethe in the background?

WC: 902

I’m still fighting you on the custody of my children. I don’t know what my brother had conned you into thinking you had more to give them than I did. He doesn’t know how far I’m willing to take things if you keep up with your bullshit. It’s not my fault you can’t be fucking bothered to take accountability for the actions you have undertaken. 

Your tears do nothing. I am unmoved by your conniving act. Take your things like the spoiled, bratty princess you are. And make yourself scarce. I will not have my daughters be raised by a mother like you. Their lives will improve more if they’re with me. I won’t take anything less than that. My brother tells me I’m being too hard on you. But he’s the one you cheated with. Nothing he can say can convince me of anything.

“Stop.” I told you. “Stop with the fucking act. I know what you’re trying to do. I won’t allow you to take my fucken children away because you wanted to fuck around.” 

“Your parents coddle you too much. You’re spoiled. You are spoon-fed information and reject things you don’t want to hear. Even when it’s the truth. You think about yourself first and everyone else second.” I continued. There wasn’t a way in hell you were going to try to get your way out of this mess. 

The mess that you created with your own two feet and your unwillingness to communicate. I haven’t forgotten what you did to me. I hope you know that. I am like a crow, my ability to hold a grudge for a long period is irritatingly close to seventeen years sometimes.

If you push, I will push back. 

Don’t push if you don’t want to get hit with the real world and get left wanting. I have no time for your bullshit anymore. Figure things out for yourself. Do things alone for all I care.

“It’s always about you, isn’t it? Unbelievable. Stay away from my kids.” I sighed, stepping away from the doorway, my hand gripping the brass metal door handle until all the colour from my knuckles are gone. 

I am more than a little determined to make sure my two girls are never raised by a mother like you. It seems that my older brother has conveniently forgotten our mother was a cheater. Just like you. 

I suppose he didn’t even tell you that our father drank himself because of her repeated affairs. Too stubborn to divorce the woman, or perhaps too ashamed. By the time he passed on, I stopped trying to keep in contact with our mother. I didn’t regret going no contact with her. 

She dug her grave and she still had the audacity to complain about something. Almost like she didn’t care what kind of irreparable damage she had caused to our family. 

Now I can see only her in you. I feel incredibly disgusting for being unable to catch on sooner. I don’t blame myself completely. Were there things I could have done differently? Sure. 

But sometimes there were things, no matter what I did weren’t ever enough for you. I hope you understand someday that I needed to put myself and my children before you and whatever you think you deserve. I plan on fighting tooth and nail over the custody of my children. There wasn’t anything you could do to persuade me to do otherwise.

I packed your things into boxes. They’re already in the front lawn of my brother’s house. I have no intention on listening to what you have to say. There isn’t anything you could have done to stop this. There is nothing you can do to stop this.

As far as I’m concerned, this entire ‘relationship’ we had is a giant farce. A lie to keep things all to yourself in selfish mannerisms close to the excuses you managed to spew out when I caught the both of you in our bed. With his cock deep inside you. It was the worst day of my life, but you managed to make it about what you want.

Like you have always done.

Like you always do.

The only tragedy of this failure of a relationship is fooling myself into believing that you actually loved me. I sent you out for the sake of my sanity.

For the sake of my health. My wellbeing. 

There isn’t anything you could hurt me with anymore. You are the stupidest, selfish, two faced individual I have ever had the misfortune of dealing with. You and my brother belong together. Two dumb, selfish pricks in a pod.

 The sooner I find someone else. The better off I intend to feel without you. I’m tempted to date your goth sister. Just to make sure you see what you can’t have again.

But I also know this wouldn’t do anything. You’re so stuck in your own fantasy land that you don’t care for anyone else or about anyone else other than what you can get out of the people you come into contact with. 

I didn’t plan to bump into her. I hope you know that. 

And I didn’t plan to think of a proper marriage whenever I spoke to her. 

Things happened naturally in that direction. 

It wasn’t my fault you weren’t the one for me.

It wasn’t my fault you decided to cheat.

Dividers by: @cafekitsune