#amputee reader

[alsmailbox]

Incorrect quote with amputee reader and Donnie

WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?

This came loose

WHAT CAME LOOSE!?

this

Pulls off your fake limb

AHHHHH

I thought of this when I saw this tiktok lol

[cy-cyborg]

What able bodied authors think I, an amputee and a wheelchair user, would want in a scifi setting:

Tech that can regenerate my old meat legs.

Robot legs that work just like meat legs and are functionally just meat legs but robot

Literally anything that would mean I don't have to use a wheelchair.

If I do need to use a wheelchair, make it fly or able to "walk me" upstairs

What I actually want:

Prosthetic covers that can change colour because I'm too indecisive to pick one colour/pattern for the next 5+ years.

A leg that I can turn off (seriously, my above knee prosthetic has no off switch... just... why?)

A leg that won't have to get refitted every time I gain or loose weight.

A wheelchair that I can teleport to me and legs I can teleport away when I'm too tired to keep walking. And vice versa.

In that same vein, legs I can teleport on instead of having to fiddle around with the sockets for half an hour.

Prosthetic feet that don't require me to wear shoes. F*ck shoes.

Actually accessible architecture, which means when I do want to use my wheelchair, it's not an issue.

Prosthetic legs with dragon-claw feet instead of boring human feet or just digigrade prosthetics that are just as functional as normal human-shaped ones.

A manual wheelchair with the option to lift my seat up like those scissor-lift things so I'm not eye-level with everyone's butt on public transport/so I can reach the top shelf by myself.

A prosthetic foot that lights up when it hits the ground like those children's shoes.

A few additions I remember seeing in the comments on my old account:

holographic prosthetic covers

transformers-style mobility aids that can fold into the shapes of different aids (e.g. a wheelchair that can fold into a cane)

prosthetic covers with pockets/hidden compartments (kind of surprised this isn't a thing already).

find my leg (like find my iphone, but for your legs when you haven't worn them in a while lol)

TLDR: Stop assuming every disabled person would want to be as close to "normal" as possible in your works. Some absolutely would and having options for them if fine, but I rarely see any examples of media showing those of us who don't. start letting amputees in your scifi works have fun with our prosthetics, fix the problems real amputees are already talking about instead of what you think are the issues and make your settings as a whole accessible!

[deuteragonists-mismatched-socks]

Living Mirage - Gregory House x Amputee!Reader

Warnings: Amputee reader, possible medical inaccuracy, angst, arguing, House being House, I'm not an amputee so unfortunately I can't accurately convey the experience, symptoms of heart attack described briefly

Word count: 1.5 k

"Why do you choose not to feel anything?" The question is abrupt, out of place, as you open the door to his darkened office. You should be at home right now. Instead of driving, you've spent the last half hour chewing on a hangnail in the break room and thinking. That was always dangerous.

House looks at you quizzically, feet balanced on the desk and magic 8 ball in his hands.

You expect some sort of pithy remark that deflects the question and brings it all back down on your head. You don't care. You didn't ask the question just to be cute.

Instead, he just shakes the ball, eyes locked on the result as he answers. "I'm in pain," he says, which is obvious. "Given the option, most people would choose not to feel that."

You shake your head. You're a rheumatologist, you're no stranger to people in pain. "You're not most people," you argue, starting with a point you knew he couldn't disagree with. "And that's not what I meant."

He gives you a look that says, 'get on with it or get out.'

You take a deep breath. "I meant you run away," you say, and for some stupid reason the words sound small. You can already see him sneering and calling you pathetic.

You had some big speech and some well thought out argument all fleshed out in your head. But just like every discussion you've had with a boyfriend, every fight you've had with your mom, it flies out of your head the moment you open your mouth.

"Every time you get close to feeling something that isn't euphoria or misery, you shut down. You pop another pill. You get high."

He rolls his eyes at you. "Did Wilson recruit you?"

"Believe it or not, there are people beyond Wilson who are capable of caring about you," you say before you can think it through. You fidget with your fake hand—it's starting to feel heavy, and if you had thought of it, you would have taken it off before you came in here.

He levels you with another look. "Well, quit it," he demands; there isn't much fire to be had in the statement. "I already have Cameron's pity, and that's plenty."

"This isn't pity," you correct him. "It's concern. House, like it or not, we've worked together a while. People tend to… Develop attachments in that sort of situation. I've come to see you as a friend. Friends worry about each other."

"I don't worry about you," he shoots back, raised eyebrows challenging your perceptions—trying to hurt your feelings, trying to push you away.

"You're doing it again," you say, your voice becoming less confrontational.

He rolls his head to the side dramatically, rising from his chair. He doesn't reach for his cane. He just stands there. "What? What am I doing?"

He's irritated.

"You're trying to piss me off so I leave and you can wallow," you explain calmly, and you can tell by the flicker in his blue eyes that he knows you're right. "So you can feel guilty instead of reflecting."

"And you're, what? Altruistically trying to help someone who so desperately needs it but won't ask because they're embarrassed? What's in it for you? Am I gonna run into your arms for comfort and understanding?" He spits.

You fold your eyebrows at him. You want to tell him that yes, you will be there for him. You will help him. You will stand by him. But you know he'll twist it. "I'm not Cameron," you remind him.

At that, he does head for you. But he must not plan on leaving—his cane is still left balanced on the edge of his desk. He stops an foot away from you, right leg just barely trembling. If you weren't looking, you wouldn't notice.

"I don't pop pills because it's fun," he grates out, and you notice the way his hand discreetly kneads his thigh. "If I didn't, my patients would die. You know that. You saw it."

"You refuse to let yourself be anything but miserable," you insist, stepping closer. "And this self-pity is fake and a poor excuse. You and I both know it's because you're afraid," you say, emboldened and a little angry.

"Sure, you are genuinely addicted. That week was hell for you and everyone around you," you admit. "You almost killed your patient because you couldn't stop sweating and being an irritable piece of crap."

Maybe you were more angry than you thought.

"But you refuse to wean yourself off with the proper assistance because then what? Your withdrawal symptoms are lessened, and one day you might actually do it," you say surely. "You might actually, physically, be able to live without those stupid little tablets that control your whole life.

"But mentally?" You ask, taking another step towards him. "You wouldn't be able to take it. You'd be forced to be happy, God forbid. You'd be forced to confront the miserable emptiness of your life and realize it's a sham. Because we care about you. Me, Wilson, Cuddy, Foreman, Chase, Cameron, we care about you. Probably as much as you care about us," you remind him. "Don't think we all just forgot how you were ready to burn this hospital to the ground if it meant saving Foreman's life. Don't think we all just forgot that you just about let your heart get crushed just so you could have Cameron back at work. Don't think that I forgot that you spent weeks reading literature on phantom pains after I complained," you say more softly, flexing your elbow where your prosthetic attached. You massage it for a moment—it seems to be aching in sympathy with his leg.

"And for some reason that I can't wrap my head around, you don't want to know that all those gaping voids in your life aren't there at all," you huff. "Because then you're just boring. You're just experiencing life like a person who has friends that care what happens to him. You're miserable and in pain because you're numb," you conclude. "Not the other way around."

He's had his eyes on the floor while you talk at him. The anger in you has faded, but your heartbeat stays quick. You breathe quietly, waiting for him to say anything.

"Being happy makes me a bad doctor," he says conclusively when he finally looks up at you. His hands are clenched, but he doesn't sound angry. "And love," he says derisively. "Ain't gonna fix my leg."

You sigh in defeat. He shuffles away from you, back to his chair, back to his ball, back to his wallowing. You can't… damn it, you can't make him believe you just because you want him to so badly.

The thought makes a tear fall from your eye. You try to swipe it away before he notices.

"And that," he points at your face. "Is why feelings make you a bad doctor," he says, and you know he's trying to hurt you. He's trying to push you away, again. You wonder if it'll work this time. "What if you have a patient next week that you can't crack? Are you gonna bring him to me and save his life? Or are you gonna stubbornly refuse because you're trying to teach me a lesson, because you just care so much," he pouts at you. "And let him die?"

You don't have the energy to argue with him. Suddenly, you can't remember why you tried. Why you stayed. Why you aren't at home in bed right now with a bowl of mac n cheese.

"You are… The worst," you say, your voice reedy and thin. You can feel your chin trembling and figure there's no point in stopping it.

"I'm the worst? Or I'm misunderstood and in a deep cycle of self-destruction that I need help for?" He questions sarcastically. "Can't have it both ways, sweetheart."

"You won't help yourself or let anyone else do it," you make your logical, rational argument for your conclusion. "It's both."

"That's sweet," he says drily. "Thanks for taking the time to let me know all that."

You don't want to turn around and head for the door. But you have nothing left to say, and he's wanted you gone since you showed up.

The thought makes a dull pain overcome you, like the emotional hurt has become physical. "If I have a patient I can't help, you'll be the first to know," you promise, finally moving to leave. "I won't bother you again."

You hope he'll feel a little guilty at that, but you hardly expect him to do anything about it. He'd die before admitting he did something wrong.

You have one foot past the glass wall when it happens.

It's as if your legs are taken out from under you, your lungs are wrung out, the lights above go from dim to strobing.

House calls your last name. When you don't respond, you think you might hear his cane and your first name.

Well, then, it must be bad.

You want to say something, but your mouth clamps shut and your arm grasps at your chest instead. It isn't long before House's blue eyes fade into nothingness.

[stargirlygirl]

upgrade pt.2

pro hero! midoriya izuku x fem!reader⋆｡°✩ — most of izu's arm has been amputated, hurt comfort, swearing, 6.7k words

pt.1, pt.3, epilogue

feat. todoroki shoto + bakugou katsuki

It’s 8am and you’re in the elevator riding up to level 3. You’ve taken the next week off to see your pookie. And you’re anxious to see him, but not yet. There’s someone you need to speak to first. The elevator dings and the doors slide open. You walk down the white linoleum corridor, eyes peeled for that tall, lanky doctor. There! He has his back to you, speaking with a nurse outside of the recovery room.

You come up behind him, keeping a respectful distance of course, and wait patiently. The nurse acknowledges you with a nod. Once she leaves, Dr Kita turns around and gives you a lazy smile.

“What can I do for you, Miss [l/n]?” You notice how dark his under-eyes are and wonder if he’s been here all night. Wouldn’t be much different to you, for you’ve been up the whole night drawing up plans that you’re about the show him, if he gives you the time of day.

“I’ve been thinking about Midoriya’s surgery and I wanted to know what kind of prosthetic you were going to give him.”

He raises a thick, black eyebrow, “I don’t choose, Miss [l/n]. Mr Midoriya will choose his prosthetic from a list of accredited providers.” You gulp. Okay, not exactly where you were hoping this conversation would head. Your palms begin to get sweaty. You open and close them, hoping to loosen up some of your nerves over what you’re going to ask.

“Miss [l/n].” Your heart pounds. You can hear it thumping. The blood rushing. “Mhmm.”

“I’m rather busy, so please, just ask me what you want to ask.” He stares at you shrewdly over the rim of his metal frames.

“Okay, so, I’m a biomedical engineer and I was thinking that because Izuku’s amputation was open, then I could build him a cybernetic arm and we could attach it surgically.”

He sighs, “Miss [l/n].”

Fuck. He thinks this is really weird, doesn’t he? “Cybernetic arms work by—”

“I know how cybernetic arms work.” His mouth is pressed into a hard line as he stares you down.

“Izuku is Japan’s Number One hero. Give this man a regular bionic arm and he could never be that again. Look at all the heroes that lost their limbs in the Final War. Replace what’s missing of his left arm with a cybernetic arm and he could continue his hero work. Maybe not as number one anymore, but he could still make a difference in society as a hero.”

Dr Kita just looks at you and you stare right back. This isn’t the first time a man has looked down on you and your ideas as an engineer because you’re a woman. You know that you just have to stick it out. Be confident in your argument, your design, and keep pushing until he relents and takes you seriously.

Just when it looks like he’s about to tell you to get lost, he surprises you with, “Can you build a robot?”

He doesn’t mean it sarcastically. He means it genuinely. Fair question. Most of your colleagues can’t. “Of course I can build a robot. I did mechanical before specialising in biomed.”

“Have you ever built a prosthetic arm before?” He’s got a half-smile on his face, perfect teeth barely visible.

You have to look away momentarily from that intense gaze, “I’ve built a robotic arm before. I built Izu’s current hero suit. And, I know how One For All works. How hard can it be?”

Dr Kita sighs again and looks down at his clip board. It’s quiet for a few moments before he speaks again, “I assume you’ve got the designs.” You automatically reach for your bag on your shoulder, pulling it down and grabbing out your folded and coffee-stained designs. You begin opening them up to show him when he places his slender finger on the folded edge.

“I finish in thirty. You’ll be in Mr Midoriya’s room, I assume. I’ll come over and you can show me then.” You nod in response and smile.

“Thanks, doctor.”

You bow and turn to leave, but he adds, “Run it by him first, yea?” You hum in agreement before returning to the elevator and taking it up to level 5, where Izuku’s been moved to for his stay at the hospital.

You knock on his door (as they’ve given him a room to himself) and let yourself in once you hear his permission. He’s sitting upright, stocking and drainage tubes on his left, cannula on his right. The sunlight kisses his pale skin, illuminating his freckles and bringing out those flecks in his dark green hair and eyes. He smiles once he sees you, inviting you to come over to him. You pull out the bento box you made for him this morning, setting it on the table next to his bed before you grab a chair and sit at his side.

“I missed you. How have you been holding up?” You place your hand just above his knee that’s covered by the thin blankets. He gives you a small smile. You can see how the skin around his eyes are puffy and red. Not well, you take it. “I brought you some of the curry I made. Do you want some?” He hums softly.

You grab the travel case from your bag, whipping out a pair of wooden chopsticks and a rice spoon. You place the bento on your lap. It’s still warm from the fresh rice you placed in it before leaving for the station. You open the lid, slipping it beneath the box. “Mhmm, it smells good, honey.”

“I got you some curry,” you say, pointing to the little compartment with the curry, “some rice, pickled onions, strawberries, and some hard-boiled eggs.” You grab one of the egg-halves with the chopsticks and bring it to Izuku’s mouth.

“Honey, I can feed myself,” he says quietly.

“Shhhh, here comes the aeroplane.” You begin winding and swerving the egg through air. Izuku chuckles and lets you feed it to him. He smiles warmly as he chews on the egg.

“Mhmm yummy. You want another one?” You’re already grabbing another egg. He stares lovingly at you and let’s you feed him this one too. Actually, you end up feeding him the curry and rice too as you don’t want them to get cold before he’s tried any.

You place the bento back on the table and look down. Sensing your sudden nervousness, Izuku rests his right hand on top of yours, on his thigh. It’s scarred from years of pro hero training and work, warm, and large, enveloping your own baby hands. He smiles gently at you, silently urging you to tell him what’s on your mind.

You let out a shaky breath. “Izu-chan…” He gazes back at you with those puppy eyes, humming at the sound of his name from your lips.

You look down, focusing on the back of his hand. “I want to replace most of your left arm with a cybernetic one.”

You trace the scars on his hand. The peaks soft beneath your fingertips. You can feel hardness of the tendons just beneath the delicate skin. “So, I’ll be like… part robot?”

You look back up, seeing the confused look on his face, “Um, yea, pretty much. I’ve already spoken to Dr Kita about it. He’ll be coming in shortly and we’ll go through the designs I’ve drawn.”

“You already drew designs. Don’t those take hours hours, love? Don’t tell me you stayed up all night.” You bite the side of your lip before laughing a bit, more to yourself.

“I thought you could tell now when I’ve pulled an all-nighter, pookie.”

Izu moves what’s left of his left arm, groaning in pain once again. You’re immediately on alert, leaning over him. “You okay?”

“Yea, I just keep forgetting… about that.” You sit back down, grabbing his right hand with both of yours. You smile at him reassuringly, seeing that sheepish look on his face. A comfortable silence hangs in the air for the next couple of minutes. You both thinking over what’s just been said.

You start to think that he doesn’t like your idea when he pipes up, “Okay, I trust you, honey.”

You’re literally gob-smacked, jaw open wide, eyes even wider. “What? You mean,” you fumble your next words as you stare at him, dumbfounded. “You mean, you’ll actually let me build you an arm? And like, attach it you? Like, ‘you can’t easily get rid of it’ attach it to you? Seriously?”

He chuckles at your rambling. “Of course I will. You know a lot more about this kinda thing than I do, sweetheart. If you think it’s for the best, then I trust you. But…”

You’re on the edge of your seat, anxious for that objection. “But?”

“I’ll be able to be hero again, right? With a robotic arm, I mean.” He looks at you curiously, hand squeezing yours again.

You sigh, “Izu-chan, you are a hero. Even with a robotic arm, you’ll still be a hero.” He nods, hand leaving yours to rub the back of his neck. “Thanks hon—” You’ve already leaned over him again, and this time, you cut him off mid-sentence with a brief kiss.

Well, it was supposed to be, but it became much deeper once he cups your right cheek, angling your head just right for him to slide his tongue over your bottom lip. You moan into him, granting him access. Your hands come to the nape of his neck, fingers tugging at the stray curls. Tongues swirl in a flurry of longing and ecstasy. How long had it been since you two kissed? Like, kissed.

You’re already straddling him. Saliva beginning to drip down from the corners of your mouth. Izuku groans as you tug harder at his curls, his large hand slipping to hold the back of your neck, beneath the curtain of loose [h/c] locks.

The sound of throat-clearing catches your attention. You’re pulling away from each other instinctually. The culprit stands at the door, long fingers still wrapped around the door knob.

“I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”

You quickly get off of Izuku, sitting back in your chair at his bedside. You fiddle with your hair and wipe the saliva from your lips. Dr Kita sets a second chair next to yours. You shuffle so that you can easily look at him and Izuku.

You notice Izuku’s cheeks have gone red, as well as the tops of his ears and his chest. You giggle, realising how embarrassed he must be. You’re pretty embarrassed too, but it’s to be expected. You’re both pretty touch starved after being separated for a month.

“So, where are these designs you wanted to show me?” Dr Kita begins, seated, calm and poised as ever. You grab your bag which lies against the hospital bed, pulling out your designs and laying them on top of Izuku’s legs.

You begin explaining them to Dr Kita, not holding back as you get into the nitty gritty of what materials you’re intending to use, estimated costs, mechanics, electrode implantation, as well as having transformative features if you’ve got time like a cannon or rifle. You pause a few times to look back at Izuku. His blush goes down fairly quickly and, he just nods as you speak. He’s probably got no clue what you’re on about.

“And how are you going to test this arm?” Dr Kita asks. You look at Izuku, the same train of thought passing through you. He nods gently, urging you to continue on.

You take a deep breath in, “You do know about my quirk, don’t you?”

And now it’s your turn to raise your eyebrow at Dr Kita. He just stares back at you, seeming mildly perplexed. “Am I supposed to?”

You chuckle, “You seriously don’t know? The media couldn’t shut up about it when they found out.” You look back at Izuku and he’s just staring at you with that content expression on his face again. You turn back to the tired doctor beside you.

“My quirk is called ‘quirk stealer’ but it’s more like ‘quirk borrower’. But that doesn’t sound very cool, does it? My quirk allows me to ‘steal’ the quirk of others for up to 24 hours at a time by kissing them. I intend to steal Izuku’s quirk, One For All, for a day so I can test how the arm holds up against his quirk and make any necessary adjustments.”

Dr Kita just stares at you disbelief. His mouth hangs slightly open, browheads sloping upwards. It takes him a few moments before he chuckles. He shakes his head as he does so, sunlight catching on loose black strands slipping from his low bun.

“Of course you do.” He re-adjusts, crossing one slim leg over the other. “Fine. Your design sounds good. Plan is thorough enough. Your only issue is that we can only keep his wound—” His boney finger points to what’s left of Izuku’s left arm, “open for a week, maximum. You’ll be, well not you, Mr Midoriya will be very lucky if his wound hasn’t become infected by the time you’ve finished construction and final testing of the arm.”

Your brows furrow at this. It was something you’ve considered but had avoided thinking about. You lean forwards slightly towards Dr Kita, saying in a low voice, “Realistically, how long do you think I have before infection sets in?”

“It all depends really.” Dr Kita pushes his glasses up, from resting on the bump of his nose to the space just before that. He looks over at Izuku, studying him carefully. “Some patients’ wounds become infected within hours. For others, it takes days.” His gaze flickers back over to you. “You’ll want to get him back in theatre and attach the arm as soon as possible.”

You nod. “Umm,” Izuku starts, his voice is quiet and hesitant, “just to clarify, honey, you’re not attaching it, are you?”

You tilt your head to the side, pouting, you say in a serious and saddened tone, “I thought you trusted me.” Your boyfriend shakes his head as he says, “I do—”

“I’m kidding. Of course I’m not?” That wasn’t supposed to be a question, but it turns into one as you look back to Dr Kita and he nods.

“You think I’d just let you operate without any qualifications or training? I hope you know what you’ll find beneath that dressing.” You laughing nervously, unable to tell if Dr Kita is joking or if he’ll actually make you operate on Izuku.

“Of course I do.”

Dr Kita agrees to speak to one of the orthopaedic surgeons to arrange Izuku’s prosthetic attachment, clearing up that you in fact WILL NOT be performing surgery on your boyfriend (as you shouldn’t be). You both thank him profusely and soon, it’s just the two of you again.

You two settle into a comfortable conversation, talking about everything that’s happened over the past month. You find out that it wasn’t until last week that Shoto and Ingenium had been brought onto the mission because of how close they were getting to the organisation orchestrating the sale of young women for quirk breeding.

“I still can’t believe that that still exists in this day and age.” You’re utterly discussed by this and it’s apparent in your voice. Izuku nods in agreement.

He continues on, telling you how he’s been rooming with Dynamight in this abandoned apartment overlooking a series of night clubs since the mission started. It’s been filled with lots of teasing and arguing. Getting older, going off on their own, Midoriya and Bakugou’s relationship isn’t as… explosive (like what I did there?) as it was at UA. Being high-ranking pro heroes now, the competition between them is friendlier. Not friendly. But, friendlier. There was a healthy rivalry between them now.

“If I’m being honest though,” Izuku lowered his voice to a whisper as he leaned closer to you, “I’m glad that it’ll be back to the two of us from now on.”

“WHAT WAS THAT DIPSHIT?!”

You turn in shock as Dynamight bursts into the room, door slamming into the wall, hinges shaking. He’s in a hospital gown, bandaged arms peaking out.

“Kacchan!” Izuku says, surprised by his visit. You were surprised that Dynamight could still hear Izuku despite how loud his explosions are. You thought he would have hearing aids by now. Or does he? Fuck, his spiky ass hair is in the way so you can’t see clearly.

“The fuck happened to you?” Bakugou questions, stopping right next to you and pointing at where Izuku’s left arm should have been.

Okay, you’re not having that. “Hey!” You stand up, puffing up your chest and getting in the ash blond’s face. Not that you can cause he literally towers over you, but you get an A for effort girlie. “None of this would of happened if you weren’t such a hothead!”

Fun fact, you’ve actually met Bakugou. You met him last year at the annual pro hero conference afterparty. It was brief, but you already knew from Izuku’s stories that this man was quite… rough. Your meeting then only confirmed such beliefs when he was shouting at Izuku for having a girlfriend and not bringing her around to meet his friends sooner.

“OI, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU’RE TALKING TO, PIPSQUEAK?!” He yells in back in your face. His breath is hot as it hits your face.

“YOU FUCKFACE! You’re the reason my boyfriend lost his arm.” Your fingertips jab his chest. Holy fuck he’s hard. This man is built like a fridge.

“Tch. YOUR BOYFRIEND IS THE REASON HE LOST HIS ARM! IT’S NOT MY FAULT HE CAN’T EVEN CONTROL HIS QUIRK.” Bakugou’s hands grab your upper shoulders, gripping them tight. They’re sweaty and stick to your baggy graphic tee.

“HEY! GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME before you start going off.” Your fingers grasp his wrists. They’re hotter than you’ve ever felt before. You can feel his pulse beating.

“Kacchan, that’s enough,” Izuku says like a primary school teacher scolding a child.

“I’LL DECIDE WHEN IT’S ENOUGH!” Bakugou’s fingers squeeze into the flesh of your biceps. You yelp reflexively.

“Kacchan!”

“ALRIGHT ALRIGHT.” He releases you from his grasp. Now leaning close to you, almost touching, to point at Izuku.

But before he can get a word out, Izuku tells him off, “Can you at least apologise for hurting my girlfriend?”

“FINE.” Bakugou looks down you, not moving an inch. “I’m sorry, okay?” You just nod, leaning slightly backwards to keep you two from touching. This man really has no hold on personal space, does he?

Bakugou energetically points at Izuku, yelling “LOOK AT WHAT YOU’VE DONE DEKU! HOW ARE YOU GOING TO BE A HERO NOW?! Tch. And I thought you were my equal. I WOULD NEVER GO N’ GET MY ARM CUT OFF LIKE THAT!”

You end sitting back down once Bakugou leaned even further in. This isn’t really any better though. His hips are very close to your face so, you’ve settled for just turning away from him to look at Izuku. And broccoli boy just takes it. He doesn’t try to stop Bakugou from having his little tantrum. It’s probably better this way anyways. Bakugou can just get it off his chest and be done with it.

I guess he made a good choice for his hero name though, ‘Dynamight’, cause this guy really explodes. Sorry. That could of been sexual if I made it sexual. I meant his anger. Anyways…

After a while, Bakugou just stops hurling insult after insult. He finally huffs and sits down on Izuku’s bed.

“You’re such a dumbfuck, you know that?”

Izuku chuckles, “Yes, I know.”

“WHOSE GONNA BE MY COMPETITION NOW, HUH? WHAT? WHAT ICYHOT? IS THAT BASTARD REALLY GONNA BE MY RIVAL NOW?” Don’t tell me he’s gonna go at it again, you think. He really is just angry, like, limitlessly angry, isn’t he?

“Kacchan, you should keep your voice down. Shoto might—”

“YOU THINK I GIVE A FUCK IF THAT HALF N’ HALF BRAT HEARS ME—”

“I care, Kacchan,” Izuku sighs. He looks tired. Really tired.

You gently touch Bakugou on the arm. He looks at you with hostility as if you’ve just committed an offence.

“Bakugou, Izuku’s exhausted after everything that’s happened last night. Why don’t we give him some space so he can rest?”

The blond scoffs and shrugs you off, “Tch. As if. YOU.” He points at Izuku again as he stands up. “YOU BETTER FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT. I’M NOT LOSING MY NUMBER ONE RIVAL SO YOU BETTER GROW ANOTHER ARM OR SOMETHIN’!” He grabs you by the elbow, dragging you out of the room. You wave back at Izuku before sticking your thumb up and smiling, letting him know that it’s going to be okay and he can just rest. Izuku nods at this.

Bakugou doesn’t just take you out of the room, but continues to ‘guide’ you by the elbow, taking you down the hallway with him. You turn a corner and a café comes into view.

“Um, Bakugou, where are we going?”

“Tch. Are you actually that dumb?” He drags you into the café and you just let him. You considered fighting back, at least just for your elbow, but it didn’t seem very promising given the ripples of muscles that are exaggerated by the bandages around his arms. He’s leading you to a table at the back where you see a head of half red and half white hair. OMG! IS THAT SHOTO?!

Of course, you were Izuku’s number one fan, but before meeting Izuku, you were actually a huge Shoto fan. Not that you didn’t like Izuku, but the half and half boy had caught your attention. You didn’t have a shrine dedicated to Shoto like Izuku has to All Might, but you would always stay up-to-date with his interviews, any new missions he’s on or news buzz he was involved in. He was quite popular back in your home country so it wasn’t too hard to find translations of media he was in. Actually, watching his interviews in Japanese had been revolutionary when you first started learning the language.

And now, you were about to meet him.

“Wait!!”You stopped suddenly, a few steps from the table, causing Bakugou to stumble-stop with you.

“WHAT?!” He turned back to you, frowning hard. He’s gonna get some seriously deep wrinkles if he keeps making such expressions, you think.

You say, “I’m nervous, okay? Are we really going to go sit with Shoto?”

He barked out a laugh. “OF COURSE NOT. WOW, YOU REALLY ARE DUMB. I don’t know how Deku puts up with you.”

“Hey! That’s just mean,” you pout at him.

He scoffs, “I’M ‘JUST MEAN’! GET OVER IT!” Bakugou’s face lowers down to yours just to yell at it. People were starting to stare. You could feel your cheeks beginning to flare up.

“Bakugou,” you say as you put your hand on the arm that was still holding onto your elbow. This draws another look of absolute offence and disgust from the blond. “People are staring.”

“Tch. OF COURSE THEY ARE. I’M DYNAMIGHT.”

“Uh, I don’t think that’s why—” He continues on, dragging you over to the table Shoto’s seated at. He shifts to make room on booth seat, seeing you two coming over. Bakugou throws you down onto the booth side of the table. You fall onto Shoto clumsily, repeating how sorry you are as you push up from him.

He grasps your forearms, helping you sit upright, muttering, “It’s fine.”

Your [e/c] eyes meet his heterochromatic ones and for a moment, you forget to breathe. Wow… he’s so pretty. Those long lashes, clear skin, full lips. Even his scar is perfect. You notice the bandages wrapped around his head like a zumba headband. They loop through his dual-coloured locks. They look so soft from this angle. You giggle nervously once he draws his hands — one hot, the other icy — back to himself.

Your admiration of the hero is interrupted by the ear-scrapping sound of Bakugou pulling out the chair opposite and sitting in it unceremoniously. None of you speak for the next few minutes, and you notice that in this time, most of the onlookers return to what they’re doing.

“So…” You start, tapping your fingers on your clothed thighs.

“Deku told me you were ‘n engineer or somethin’. You’re gonna fix his arm, right?” Bakugou’s red eyes pierce through you with their intensity.

“What’s wrong with Izuku’s arm?” Shoto’s voice is so smooth. Honestly. It’s even nicer than in all of the interviews you’ve seen. You stutter on your inhale, hearing him speak. It’s low and fairly quiet, but confident at the same time.

“Tch. That bastard—”

“Oi,” you cut in, “that ‘bastard’ is my boyfriend. You better con—”

“Deku,” Bakugou glares at you, “got his arm ripped off.”

You sigh, turning slightly to Shoto. Oh my gosh! You’re heartbeat is pumping like you run up a flight of stairs. Are you about to talk to your favourite hero? Ahem, your second favourite hero.

You defend your boyfriend with, “Izu-chan didn’t ‘get his arm ripped off’. The surgeon amputated most of it as the damage was beyond his healing capabilities.”

“Oh.” Shoto looked down momentarily.

“Tch. What a baby. IF THAT WAS ME—”

“I KNOW BAKUGOU! Oh my god I know, we all know. You’re the fucking best hero ever. You would never let anything stop you or hurt you or whatever. We know, okay? Can you please give it a rest?” Your brows are knit together as you glare at him. He glares back.

“Tch.” Bakugou leaned back in his seat, looking off to the side now, face in a scowl.

The table fell into silence again. You didn’t mean to go off at him, and now you must look really bad in front of Shoto. Fuck. You only had one chance and you blew it. You probably can’t even ask for his autograph anymore. Jeez, this is embarrassing. But you were feeling really stressed out by Bakugou and his attitude toward this whole thing. You’re pretty sure that if Izuku were here, that he would tell you that this is just how Bakugou is dealing with his emotions. But seriously like, does he ever shut the fu—

“You didn’t answer my question. Are you gonna fix ‘is arm or not?” Bakugou addresses you with less aggression this time. At least he’s trying. That’s really nice of him.

“Y-yea,” you mutter, looking down at your hands. It takes a few moments for you gather up some confidence, but when you do, you look back up at him, meeting his fiery gaze. “I’m going to build him a cybernetic arm which we’re going to surgically attach to his wound.”

“The fuck is ‘cyber… cyb… cyb’ fuck I DON’T KNOW. WHAT IS IT?”

“Cybernetic?” You raise your eyebrow at him, smirking slightly. “Yea, hurry up n’ spit it out already.” He’s glaring you down softly this time.

“Cybernetic is the same as bionic or prosthetic. Basically, I’m going to build him a robotic arm and replace what’s missing of his left arm with it.”

“So,” Shoto says, “Midoriya-kun will be part robot?”

You notice how perfect his posture is, how stoic the expression is on his face. Amazing… You nod, “That’s the plan. We don’t have much time, so I need to build and test it as soon as possible.”

“Then get the fuck out ‘ere. Seriously,” he’s leaning over the table now, “go build that shit.”

“Baku—”

“YOU HEARD ME! I’M NOT HAVING THIS—” Bakugou points vigorously to Shoto, “AS MY SOLE COMPETITION. YOU BETTER FIX HIM! ROBOT, NOT ROBOT, I DON’T CARE.” He’s standing at this point, palms on the table, leaning over mockingly to Shoto. “YOU AIN’T SHIT COMPARED TO ME ICYHOT!” Shoto turns to you, unfazed by Bakugou’s outburst.

“Please excuse Bakugou’s behaviour. He’s upset over Midoriya-kun’s inju—”

“I’M NOT UPSET! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!” Bakugou’s hands begin to spark on the table, leaving scorch marks in their midst. He quickly wipes his palms on his hospital gown, muttering about how he’s going to have to pay for that.

You sigh, his words resonating with you. “You’re right. I need to get back to my place and start now. Thanks Bakugou.”

You stand up, ready to leave when Shoto catches you off guard. “We should at least get you a coffee then. I assume you’ll have a long night ahead of you?”

Oh my gosh! Is THE pro hero ‘Shoto’ offering to buy me, ME, a coffee? Oh my gosh! Yes! Yes sir!

You laugh nervously, trying to play it cool but you obviously fail, “O-oh, um, yea, okay, yea, that sounds good. Yea…” You meet his gaze. It’s soft. You might actually pass out from how excited you are right now.

“Tch. FINE. I’m not paying though.” Bakugou crosses his arms, shifting his weight onto one leg. Shoto dismisses the blond’s lack of enthusiasm with a wave of his hand.

“I’ll pay.”

“Really?! Like, you-you’ll actually pay for my coffee?!” Fuck. That sounded so fangirl-y didn’t it? Shit. He’s gonna know.

“Of course," Shoto replies. He places his credit card on the circular table. Where did he get that from? “What would you like?”

You think for a moment. Maybe he brought his wallet. That makes sense. From what you’ve seen of Bakugou’s behaviour, he didn’t seem to be the type to pay for the date. Not this was a date. Concerning the coffee, you usually get a double shot oat milk cappuccino but you know that the answer that won’t make you seem like even more of a weirdo is probably an iced coffee.

“Um, I haven’t seen the menu.” A safe choice.

Shoto chuckles at this, shaking his head slightly. “Of course, sorry.” He rises from his spot on the booth and you notice that SOMEHOW he’s even taller than Bakugou. Oh… so is this why Bakugou’s so mad? Height is pretty sensitive subject for men, right? He’s also in a hospital gown with a few bandages wrapped around his arms at different sites. He motions for you to start walking and so you do. He follows you as you walk over to the counter.

You notice that they have oat milk and cappuccinos on the menu. What you don’t notice is that Bakugou ended up following you two over to the counter and was standing just behind you, off to your side, watching you intensely. His sudden “tch” alerts you to his presence.

“One large cappuccino with oat milk. And one egg salad sandwich. And a three of the ichigo daifuku. You want anythin’ else?” Bakugou looks down at you.

You lean up, whispering close to his ear, “Can you make it a double shot?”

“Make that a double shot for the cap. OI! ICYHOT, what do you want?”

Shoto’s heterochromatic eyes widen for a moment before he chuckles softly. “I’ll have an iced coffee. Medium please.” He looks back at the explosive blond who clicks his tongue.

Bakugou rolls his eyes, telling the server, “Two iced coffees. Both Medium.”

Bakugou ends up paying for your order and shooing you and Shoto back to your seats while he waits for it to be ready. You laugh and Shoto smiles lightly, seeing your good mood.

“What is it?” He asks, looking at you curiously.

You giggle, “He’s such a softie, huh?” You playfully elbow Shoto’s side. His brows furrow slightly, revealing his confusion.

“Bakugou?” He questions. You nod in agreement, still smiling stupidly.

“He’s all—” you puff up your chest and curl your arms like a tough guy, “rawr I’m Dynamight I’m so tough when really, he’s quite caring, isn’t he?”

Shoto nods slowly, “Sometimes.”

You two stay quiet for a minute or two before Shoto says, “Midoriya-kun talks a lot about you.” You look back at him like he just grew a second head.

“Really?” I mean, it made sense. You two had been together for about three years now.

Shoto nods, “He could talk about you for hours. He could barely contain himself during the mission.”

You giggle, “You make it sound like he loves me as much as All Might.” At this, Shoto gives you a small smile.

“Maybe he does.”

“Ahh don’t start putting ideas in my head or I won’t be able to concentrate.” You dramatically place the back of your hand on your forehead, sighing in feigned distress.

“My apologies…” He regains this neutral-curious look on his face. “I hope you don’t mind but, he told me that you were a big fan of mine.”

Oh fuck. Okay, it’s not funny anymore. “He what?” You stare wide-eyed at Shoto. He meets your gaze with a slight smirk. “You knew? Like, this entire time, you knew?” He offers you another nod. You let out a sigh, seeing Bakugou returning with your coffee and food. “That’s so embarrassing,” you groan.

“Why?” Shoto tilts his head at this.

You whine, “Because, I’ve made a fool of myself in front of you. Did he tell you that I’ve seen ALL of your interviews? Like, every single one? Even when you were still at UA?”

Bakugou places the coffee tray on the table before setting the sandwich and daifuku in front of you. He distributes drinks. You have to admit, yours looks so good! The foam is so fluffy, just the way you like it.

“Thank you, Bakugouuuuuu.” You draw out the last syllable of his name. You take a sip, moaning softly at how yummy your coffee tasted. The two heroes just stare at you. One slightly embarrassed and the other pleased.

“Yea, I know right. The barista here makes a mean as fuck coffee,” Bakugou says through his smirk.

“Mhmm, this is so good! They don’t disappoint.” Bakugou watches you as he sips on his own coffee, a shit eating grin on his face. Provider Bakugou unlocked?

You look down at the food in front of you, tearing the paper bag that the daifuku came in into three pieces. As you put one of the snacks on each piece, you say, “Yea, I’m like seriously a huge fan. I have a lot of your merch too. BUT, my number one hero is Izuku. You’re my number two hero.” You wink at Shoto as you slide the daifuku over to him.

Bakugou chokes on his sip. He starts coughing furiously. On instinct, you stand up and are about to go to his side and pat his back when he holds up his hand.

“I cough I-I’m cough fine cough.” You sit back down, watching him ride out the wave that is his coughing fit. Seeing him coming to the end of it.

You ask, “You okay?”

“LOOK AT ME! OF COURSE I’M FINE.” Shoto laughs, watching Bakugou trying to shake off the blush of embarrassment creeping into his cheeks.

“Are you surprised that I’m her second favourite and your not?” Shoto says in his usual monotone. Was Shoto provoking Bakugou? You never thought the day would come when you would see this holy sight.

“OI! DON’T START SOME SHIT YOU CAN’T FINISH YOU HALF AND HALF BASTARD!!” You start laughing hard as you slide Bakugou’s daifuku over to him. “OI! WHAT’S SO FUNNY?” You start laughing even harder, leaning back in your seat, arms wrapping around your belly.

“Y-you are,” you laugh out. Your tummy begins to hurt, tears of joy gathering in your eyes. You watch through glassy eyes as Bakugou shoves the dessert whole in his mouth angrily.

“Oi. Shut it.” But it sounds more like “Shuf ip” as he speaks while chewing.

You salute, giggling, “Yes sir.” At this, Bakugou rolls his eyes.

You have a moment of clarity. Or delusion, you decide. Actually, he’s quite handsome too. You couldn’t really see it before because of his rather… energetic personality. But, there’s something quite attractive about the sharpness of his features. You can see why so many of your friends like him so much.

“I’M WAY BETTER THAN THIS FUCKWIT—”

“Hey! there could be kids around—”

“I should be your second favourite instead.” Bakugou crosses his arms again, with one large hand enveloping at least half of his drink.

You shake your head, giggling again, “Oh yea.” You meet his gaze. “Prove it.”

Shoto looks with wide eyes between you two.

“PROVE WHAT?” Bakugou’s leaning forward and so do you.

“Prove that you’re a way better hero than Shoto.” He barks out his laughter once again in your face, it’s sharp and short.

“HAVE YOU SEEN MY TRACK RECORD? Tch. AS IF I HAVE TO PROVE ANYTHING TO YOU, PIPSQUEAK.” He rolls his eyes, leaning back and sipping his coffee down inhumanly fast.

“You right? You’ll get a tummy ache if you drink it that fast," you say. You look down at his quickly emptying drink before looking back up into his red eyes. He stops sipping, only ice left.

“SHUT UP.”

You decide now that you’ll stop riling him up. Dynamight is a pretty cool hero. And to be honest, you do wear his merch because Izuku owns a significant amount of it. Being a pro hero, Izuku usually got discounts or free merch from other heroes. Being his girlfriend, he usually got you any merch you wanted. You feel kinda bad for pissing Bakugou off after he’s been so nice to you. Well, as nice as Bakugou gets for a someone he’s just met (the first time doesn’t really count as it was so brief).

“I’m sorry for suggesting that you’re not a cool hero, Dynamight. You are a cool hero and I’ll tell Izuku how nice you’ve been to me,” You say with a grin. But this seems to have the opposite intended effect of soothing the tension.

“SHUT UP YOU DUMMY!” He looks away from you, getting up abruptly to throw his cup in the bin. He takes the torn pieces of the paper bag with him as you pop the daifuku into your mouth. Mhmmm, it’s so yummy too! The fresh strawberry is so sweet!

“He’s flattered,” Shoto chimes in.

You look at him confused and ask, “Are you sure?”

He nods before asking, “Do you really own my merch? That must make Midoriya-kun uncomfortable.”

“Hmm,” you think about it for a few seconds, hearing Bakugou scrape his chair against the floor again. “Not really, I mean, have you seen how much All Might merch he owns?” You raise your brows in exaggeration.

Giggling, you add, “I should be uncomfortable.” Shoto just looks at you, wating for you to continue while Bakugou begins picking at the chips of the table.

“We actually talked about it when we started dating. Izu-chan knows that I’m your fan. I’m not like in love with you or something, you know? I like what you stand for, I think you’re pretty attractive, and I admire how hard you work in your career. I do wear your merch a lot though. That makes Izu-chan jealous sometimes.” You ramble on mindlessly.

Shoto looks down, “O-oh.”

It’s true. You couldn’t fathom the idea of being in love with a man you’ve never met, like you know some girls are with the respective objects of their affection. I say object because what they’re in love with is a commodity, an image, not a person. That would be super awkward if you were infatuated with Shoto. Especially since Izuku and Shoto work together sometimes.

“Stop talking and eat your sandwich.” Bakugou points to the untouched egg salad sandwich on the table. He’s right, if you’re gonna be up all night building a cybernetic arm, you had better eat up.

“Thanks Bakugou!” You squeal. He rolls his eyes.

“Don’t thank me, just hurry up and eat before I make you.” His voice was gruff as he stared hard at you. You giggle one last time before unwrapping the sandwich and taking a bite.

This place has seriously good food.

[alexa-yukiyu]

Phantom Pain (Shanks x sibling!gn!reader)

A/N okay so I fell asleep after doing the assigment yesterday but the assigment was about phantom limb pain and what goes behind it, and how can it happen and all I could think of during this was of Shanks and how likely it is he is dealing with his own phantom pain so here you go, I COOKED HERE

Reader here is replaced by Dokucha which stands for Reader in japanese

Dividers by @/saradika

“Beck, where is he?”

He lets out a trail of smoke from his lips, and he gestures to the quarters of the captain, where a crash could be heard

“Thank you, Beck, I got him,” they sighed, shooting the man a smile as they entered the room, sighing as they glanced at the destroyed furniture that laid inside

They frown as they take in the man next to what was previously a bedside table, now a crumpled mess of wood, blood dripping as splinters dug into his skin

“Shanks, you can’t keep doing these; replacing them has started to become troublesome.”

“Dahahahah! Don’t worry so much, Dokucha!”

They shake their head, walking to the bathroom, and grabbing the first aid kit, pulling Shanks to the bed, and sitting in front of him, pulling out a pair of tweezers and beginning to remove the splinters

“You’re an idiot; you can’t deal with the pain with more pain,” she grumbles

“I told you to call me when this happens.”

“It’s no big deal, Dokucha; I can handle it.”

“So you say, but look at you, just the same as when we were young! Acting all mature but doing such fool things,” they fuss, pulling out the last of the splinters from his wounded arm and beginning to clean off the blood

“Shanks…raging like this it won’t make the pain

go away; it’s not something you can just brush away.”

“It’s not real, Dokucha.”

“It is you, idiot!”

“The pain is not real. My arm is no longer there; I am just imagining the pain.”

“No, you’re not, Shanks! God, you’re so stubborn! Both me and Honho have already told you that phantom pain is a very real thing; it’s not just in the mind; you are actually in pain.”

He gives them a small smile, ruffling their hair with his now bandaged hand

“I ‘m sorry”

“Please let me help you, Shanks; you are always protecting me; let me, for once, be the one to help you,” they plead

“Fine, what do you have in mind?”

They grin at him, running to the bathroom, returning with a mirror

“Hmm? Oh, are you finally accepting I am the better-looking sibling?” He questioned with a smirk that was received with a swift hit to the back of the head

“You wish, put your arm in front of it and put your other arm behind it.”

“I don’t have another arm, Dokucha; that is kind of the issue here.”

“Real funny jus- just make sure your stump stays behind it and your arm is in front of it.”

“Like this?”He questioned, positioning his remaining arm in front of the mirror

“Yes, now look at the mirror.”

He gave them a questioning look but did as they told him, glancing at the mirror

“Move it around.”

He began moving his arm around, gripping and wiggling his hand about, glancing at how the reflection showed him his right arm moving about

“What do you think?”

“It feels better…” he muttered

“It tricks your brain, makes it think it never was gone in the first place.”

“Huh, I ‘ll be damned.”

“Cool, isn’t it? That’s your primary somatosensory system, sending information to the brain. It believes your missing arm is there, and the pain stops.”

“Interesting”

“You have no idea what I just said.”

“Nope”

“Idiot”

What so yall think? Been a while since I did a normal reader and not child and I was itching to give you guys more crews after the barrage of whitebeard

Taglist:

@Imaginarydreams

@amethystviolin

@h0n3y-l3m0n05

[thetempleofthemasaigoddess]

I read so many times of fanfiction writers having to Google/research the weirdest things for the sake of authenticity, and finally it happened to me as well!!!

Best type of mattress for an arm amputee

Unfortunately my research yielded no result. I'm writing a new Shanks fic and I'm wondering whether the lack of his arm would make it harder for him to sleep?? I mean, I guess it'd only make a difference if he slept on his stump, but I can't help wondering if the surface he's lying on would make a difference... Specifically, would he choose a firmer mattress, since a softer one would be harder to stand from?

If anybody has an idea I'd really like to hear it!

[reveseke]

Like a legless lizard

- Request? No.

- BH6; the team & Masc! Amputee! Reader

- Warnings? None!

- Note; R is an amputee, or otherwise lacks legs due to them being compromised at some point of his life. So he has prosthetic legs. Oh did you know there is a lizard species that's often mistaken as a snake because it doesn't have legs? One of the only ways to differentiate it from actual snakes is the fact that they have eyelids like lizards u like snakes that are eye-lidless reptiles. :3

First off if you're already in the friend group you would have heard the Fred's comments about your legs being so fucking cool, and that he was lowkey jelly about them.

Him rattling your ears off, asking all kinds of questions about what all you can do; can you walk on walls, do they run into weapons, what about rollerbladed option, do you have boosters in them? Can you swim with them, can you walk on hot charcoal, can you fly etc etc.

I think the others would be a bit more mindful about it, but there would be the what if questions and if they would be possible to execute. Like the rollerblade question, you and Gogo most likely did try it out at some point.

Wasabi's questioning with his entire being about cleanliness most likely in a off handed comments, especially if you don't have any shoes on most of the time.

Honey lemon being her bubbly self making most likely sure to ask you about how you're doing mental and physical health vice. (She literally gives off mom friend energy to me in a lowkey way lol)

They can't really help you with phantom pains, but other accessability if you need a mobile aid for the day and need help with something you aren't able to do for the moment? You don't have to ask twice for anyone of them for help. It's definitely Fred who's sometimes being told off for trying to help when you didn't need some either by you or someone else in the group.

I think Wasabi and Honey lemon however are the worriers on the bad days. Fred in general doesn't seem to have the ability to always read the room so sometimes won't even notice, and Gogo's more watchful around you lol.

Also Honey lemon took to decorating at least one of them, with your permission of course.

Hiro coming along, he's most likely asking questions. Absolutely going to indulge in some of Fred's what if questions with you, I think Baymax would straight up be asking you extensive questions about your leg(s) or lack of them off. He'd properly end up downloading some files on it, if not asking you about the care and possible ways to help.

[nerdyenby]

Am working on what will hopefully become a video essay on depiction of disabilities in marvel’s agents of shield. I’m disabled but a lot of the conditions covered aren’t ones I have personal experience with so if anyone wants to be a sensitivity reader reach out :)

I’m looking for people with one or more of the following (ideally who’ve already watched aos but it’s not necessary):

Traumatic brain injury (with long term cognitive effects)

Psychosis (specifically schizophrenia and/or following TBI)

Limb differences (specifically upper limb amputees or anyone with strong opinions on the prevelence of prosthetics in sci-fi)

Facial differences (specifically burns)

Paraplegia (he got injured in a car accident which is a major part of his story)

Borderline personality disorder (or other pds associated with moodswings)

[frameacloud]

"Trans[gender] phantoms are bodily sensations of gendered body parts that a person was not born with. [...] Phantom perceivers uniquely experience not only the awareness of what is missing [...] but also the physical sensation of it. [...] It has been theorized that this phenomenon [...] is analogous to aplasic phantom sensation, which is experienced when a person is born without a limb [...], suggesting that cortical representations of congenitally missing body parts may exist[. ...] About 18% of congenitally limb-deficient people report phantom sensation[. ...] 33–85% of amputees report phantom presence[. ...S]tudies on trans phantoms [...] suggest that trans phantoms are more prevalent than limb-deficient aplasic phantoms."

- Excerpt from pp. 1-2 of this academic article: S. J. Langer, Taymy Josefa Caso & Louisa Gleichman (2023). "Examining the prevalence of trans phantoms among transgender, nonbinary and gender diverse individuals: An exploratory study." International Journal of Transgender Health. DOI: 10.1080/26895269.2022.2164101 https://www.researchgate.net/publication/366920201

Note: The academic article in question goes on to describe how the authors' study found that almost 50% of transgender people across all sexes and genders experience trans phantoms (pp. 1, 4). This means that trans phantoms happen within the same range of prevalence as amputees' phantoms, and are indeed more common than aplasic phantoms.

Some other notes about this article: This particular study didn't ask about how often trans phantoms are painful or not. However, it did find that the majority of trans phantoms had erotic sensation (pp. 5-7). It also found that many of the respondents had trans phantoms for as long as they could remember, or since adolescence (p. 7). The researchers cautioned the reader that "trans phantoms may not, and should not, be considered a requirement for recognition of TGD [transgender, nonbinary, genderqueer, and gender diverse] identities" (p. 8).

[scarlettwriter91]

Looking for sensitivity reader(s)

Okay, so I have a character in one of my books who is a below the knee amputee, and since I really want to treat him with care and do him justice, I was hoping I could find someone to sensitivity read for him.

If anyone would be interested, you can dm me. I’d appreciate any and all help I can get :)

[stargirlygirl]

upgrade pt.1

pro hero! midoriya izuku x fem!reader⋆｡°✩ — most of izu's arm has been amputated, hurt comfort, swearing, 4k words, resources used linked at the end, non-mha characters are made-up

pt.2, pt.3, epilogue

You were stirring tofu curry in your kitchen. It’s delicious scent curling up your nostrils, tendrils seeking your body and your home. The television was playing in the back. Sliced spring onions freshly chopped on the wooden chopping board next to the stove. You were humming softly to yourself your favourite song.

Today was the day that your pookie bear, Izuku, was coming back from his month long mission. It had been a gruelling four weeks of rushed phone calls.

Quick “How’s your day been? and even quicker “I love you’s”. You missed his nerdy talk about all the latest heroes new moves and how much he still admires All Might, his cuddles and warm hands on your tummy when it was that time of the month.

You missed how he would always try to pick you up from work, clad in a face mask and Dynamight’s new merch. You missed making dinner together. You missed waking up together whenever you two slept together (cause separate beds in relationships is superior convince me otherwise).

He had been on an undercover mission to bring an underground quirk breeding organisation to justice. The fact that those still existed sent shivers down your spine. One time, you had asked him over call what it was like, being so close to all of that.

To which he dodged with, “It’s what heroes are expected to deal with, so don’t worry about it honey.” You probably shouldn’t have asked as all mission information is classified until the news gets their grimy hands on it. But, it still had taken you back that he didn’t want to talk about it.

But, you know that when he gets home, he’ll be tired but he’ll want to talk. And you’ll sit there, looking up to him, reminded of how strong he is and of how hard he works to protect you, to protect all of Japan. Speaking of which, he should be home by now.

Plucking you from your daze is the reporter’s voice shouting into her mic, “Breaking News!” You turn around, seeing her standing in front of Central Hospital on the small television screen.

“Japan’s Number One Pro Hero ‘Deku’ severely injured during quirk breeding rescue mission.” Your mind goes blank. You rush over to the TV, grabbing the remote, turning the volume up, and plonking down on the tan sofa.

You watch as footage comes on screen, showing Deku, outside of what looks to be an on-fire night club, surrounded by several villains in coordinated suits. Dynamight’s explosions can be heard in the back muffling the screams of girls chained and barely clothed who are being taken out of the building, covered in soot and coughing, by Shoto and Ingenium.

You watch intently as the villains lung at your hero. He dodges, expertly, using the intricacies of One For All to knock them unconscious. As gentlemanly as ever, even when he fights.

But it’s not enough. You continue watching, enraptured by the fight, as the reporter continues, “Pro Hero ‘Deku’, along with other heroes like Japan’s Number Two ‘Dynamight’, Number Three ‘Shoto’, and ‘Ingenuim’ have been on an undercover mission investigating quirk breeding auctions in downtown Tokyo’s underground night clubs for the past month. Tonight, things went awry as Dynamight engages, fed up with the secrecy of the mission, dragging the pro heroes into an intense fight with the villains orchestrating this conspiracy.”

“Of course it’s fucking Dynamight,” you mumble under your breath.

Deku’s now taking five villains at once when the left side of the building collapses due to the flames. It had been the entrance, where Shoto and Ingenium had been hauling out what you assume to be the victims of this scheme.

Shoto hands the young girl in his arms to one the firefighters at scene before turning around and yelling to Deku, “There’s still one more left in the building.”

Your hands have begun to shake. The suspense is wracking your nervous system.

“Deku attempts to dash back into the building when the villains he was just fighting jump onto him—”

They drag him to the ground, delivering some serious blows to his torso. The left side of the building further crumbles in on itself.

“Approaching Deku is another villain known to authorities as ‘Bon Appétit’. Quirk is knife.” Bon Appétit’s arms are comprised of different knives and swords, jutting out, sharp and glinting evilly. You cringe and yelp as the villain thrusts the blades into Deku’s left arm.

“Reeling from this blow, Deku uses One For All at what sources suspect to be full capacity, to fend off the villains and rescue the victim inside. Emerging—” The video pauses on a shot of him, girl on his back, left arm bloodied and dangling limply. From what you can see from the awful lighting, shaky cameraman, and torn shreds of Deku’s suit, his flesh is torn and skin (beneath the blood) has gone purple. No! “Deku’s left arm appears to be severely injured.”

The broadcast cuts back to the reporter outside of Central Hospital. There are a flurry of reporters and police surrounding the entrance to the hospital. She stands with her back to them and continues, “Pro Hero Deku was taken to Central Hospital to be treated shortly after 7pm. Our cameras caught—”

A video of an ambulance pulling up to the entrance plays on screen. Once it’s stopped, Deku is ushered out, flanked by paramedics. Dynamight steps out after him, shouting a string of censored curses and insults after broccoli boy in front—

“footage of Pro Hero ‘Deku’ being escorted by ambulance here with Dynamight and Shoto following suit. Love and support is being poured out by fans to Deku and his family tonight for his swift recovery. Hirota Miu, TBS Television.”

You sit there, hunched over, elbows on knees, shell-shocked. You don’t know how much time passes after the broadcast before you hear your phone ringing. You grab it from the low coffee table in front of you, clicking the green phone icon and bringing it to your ear reflexively.

“Miss [l/n], this is Dr Kita from Central Hospital. Deku gave us your details as his emergency contact.” You blink… and blink again. What? “Deku’s been seriously injured in his recent fight. He’s being prepared for emergency surgery on his left arm right now. You’re welcome to come in and visit once he’s out. The procedure should take 60 to 90 minutes. Just come to the front desk and give your information to the receptionists, and they’ll direct you.”

You stare out the window, looking at all the lights sparkling from above and below your apartment. How could everything seem so peaceful right now when your partner, your hero, was going in for emergency surgery?

“Yes I’ll, um, I’ll be right there. Um…”

“Is there anything else, Miss [l/n]?” You stayed quiet for a few seconds, trying to think of what to say.

“No, sorry. I’ll be right there.”

“See you soon then, Miss [l/n].”

You move routinely, going to your bedroom to put on a bra before lacing up some sneakers, throwing on one of Izuku’s hoodies over your t-shirt and mini shorts, and grabbing your bag. You leave your apartment hastily and practically run to the station, taking it to the one closest to Central Hospital.

There are no words to describe how you feel. Your heart is pounding hard in your chest, and not from the exercise. Your skin is crawling with anxiety. Your shirt clings to the sweat dripping down your back, and every so often you wipe your sweat-laced palms on your shorts.

Your thoughts consist of “Is he okay?”, “Why is he going into emergency surgery?”, “That idiot, I told him never to use One For All at 100% because it could lead to some serious damage! He knows that. Why would he risk it?! The blow from that villain was bad enough, why did he have to…?”, and the like. One thought triggers the next, an endless cycle until Central Hospital is towering above your small figure.

You keep it calm and steady as you walk into the lobby. The receptionist greets you and tell her your name and why you’re here. She nods knowingly, not bothering to confirm details and telling you to take the elevator to level 3.

You follow her directions, down the hall and to the left. You’re met with dull blue double doors. The sign above reading ‘Recovery Room’. You push it open, involuntarily inviting numerous stares from doctors, nurses, and recovering patients who are conscious.

A tall, lanky man comes over to you, dressed in slacks and white lab coat. He has a clip board in hand. “I’m Dr Kita. You must be Miss [l/n]. We spoke on the phone.” You nod, trying to gulp down your nerves.

“Mr Midoriya’s surgery will be finished in about,” Dr Kita looks down at his silver watch, “an hour. You’re free to walk around, get some snacks or something. Visiting hours end at 8pm, but I’ll make an exception for you.” He smiles gently at you. You nod and thank him before looking away from him, thinking about how you were going to kill time.

You felt sick to your stomach, knowing that your boyfriend was undergoing surgery at the moment. What else could you possibly think about but that?

“Actually, Dr Kita, I’d like to just wait here.” You look back up at him. He has jet black hair tied neatly into a low bun. His rectangle glasses slip ever-so-slightly down his nose, behind which sleek brown eyes stare at you with a look of understanding.

“You can’t wait in the recovery room but you can wait outside. We’ll call you in once Mr Midoriya’s is out of surgery.”

Your response is a whisper, “Oh… okay.” You look down to your feet, shoulders slumping. Quickly, you pick yourself back up, raising your head back up and asking, “So, I’ll just wait in the corridor?”

Dr Kita nods and says, “That’s fine.”

You turn to leave before realising that you hadn’t even been told what surgery Izuku was undergoing. You turn back around, noticing that Dr Kita hadn’t moved an inch. “What’s his surgery for?”

Long, slender fingers push the glasses back up his hooked nose. He sighs, “Unfortunately, Mr Midoriya’s left arm has suffered trauma beyond repair. The decision was made to amputate part of his arm.” Your mouth falls open. Amputate. His. Left. Arm?

“And who made that decision?” Dr Kita shifts under your piercing gaze. You make a mental note to apologise later for staring daggers into him.

“The trauma surgeon did. He’s in there right now performing the procedure on Mr Midoriya. I understand that this may come as a shock, but he explained to me that it was necessary and urgent to amputate Mr Midoriya’s left arm as the tissues in his forearm and hand were damaged severely. Mr Midoriya was losing too much blood and some bones in the forearm had been shattered. There is too much damage and danger to simply reset the bones and stitch him up. The surgeon’s doing what he can to salvage what’s left of Mr Midoriya’s arm.”

Are you actually hearing this right now? Is this real? Are you actually in the hospital right now, hearing a doctor tell you that Izu-chan’s arm is to be amputated? Did you turn off the curry before leaving? Fuck.

“Do you mean that the whole arm won’t be amputated?” You ask.

“It’s possible that the whole left arm won’t be amputated. The main damage was done at the forearm and elbow.” Dr Kita’s tone was fairly dead-pan. But you’re not thinking about how many patients he must of seen in similar or worse situations, or the worst situations. All you’re thinking about is your boyfriend who might be losing most of his arm right now.

You gulp and say, “I see… Thank you for clarifying. I’ll, um, I’ll go wait outside now.” Dr Kita nods in acknowledgement before you spin on your heel and take your leave.

For the next hour, you pace back and forth, up and down the hallways of level 3. You check your phone every five minutes, making sure that you have enough time for another lap of the level. After one painstaking, anxiety-inducing, palm-sweaty hour, you’re standing outside of the recovery room, waiting to be called in.

You’ve been thinking it over… just how will it be, Izuku without his left arm. He’ll be devastated. He confided in you soon after you two first started dating that one of his biggest fears was pushing his body beyond its’ limits. He wanted to protect people, to be an incredible hero, and he would do anything to achieve that. He was afraid that one day, he would go too far and he wouldn’t be able to come back from that. And then, he wouldn’t be able to protect people anymore. How would he react, knowing that part of that fear had become reality? What would this mean for his hero career? For your relationship?

Even as this new reality dawned on you, not once did you even consider leaving him. How could you? He was the man that you were so deeply in love with. You two were discussing marriage just before he left for that mission. Oh, why did he have to go on that mission?!

He means so much to you. He’s been there for you at some of your hardest times, like when you first moved to Japan to pursue a career at the front of biomedical engineering. Or when the public had found out about you two and had bullied you relentlessly for your quirk due to it’s similarities to All For One’s. It was all the tabloids could talk about for the entire week, before Izuku had released a statement under his agency, clarifying the differences between your quirks and re-affirming his love and trust in you.

He had been the reason that your life in Japan had become so much more inclusive, joyful, and prosperous. Hell, he had even taught you Japanese at the beginning of your relationship, and continues to help you whenever there’s an expression or word that you don’t understand.

That All Might otaku has been there for you through everything. If that had been you. If you had lost your arm. He wouldn’t even consider the possibility of breaking up with you. How could you?

“Miss [l/n].” You’re brought out of your thoughts, seeing one of the nurses peaking out from behind the recovery room doors. It’s the moment you’ve been waiting for. “He’s out.”

You rush over to her, entering when she pushes the door open for you and thanking her. And then, you spot ruffled deep green curls crowding a peaceful looking face. He’s still asleep. You let out a breath.

You follow the nurse over to the side of his bed, where you notice some other doctors in slacks. Dr Kita comes over almost immediately after you do. You’re by Izuku’s side, watching him. Speechless. About half of his left upper arm remains, wrapped beneath bandages with a stocking and drainage tubes attached. You can feel the tears starting come on. You tilt your head back, blinking rapidly. Not now! Not yet.

You look back down. The medical staff are talking in medical gibberish, so you focus on your pookie. It’s not that you can’t understand medical jargon. Being a biomedical engineer, you often work with such terminology. You’d just rather not right now. Not when Izu looks like an angel that’s fallen from the heavens as he sleeps. He’s got little cuts on his face that have been cleaned and had betadine dabbed onto them. His other arm has a cannula in it. It too is scarred and has other minor cuts that have also been cleaned up.

You sit on the side of his bed, waiting patiently for him to wake up. After a few minutes, his eyelids begin to flutter and soon, he opens his beautiful green eyes. You draw in a breath, taking in the dazed look on his face as he looks around and starts to move his head from side to side.

“Mr Midoriya,” Dr Kita says. His voice is calm and steady. It stops you from leaning over to cup Izu’s cheeks. For now anyways.

“Mr Midoriya, can you hear me?” Izuku groans in response, he begins lifting his right hand to touch his face when the nurse beside him gently grabs it mid-air and brings it back down the bed.

“Try to not to move too much, Mr Midoriya," Dr Kita says.

“Ugh,” he groans, his voice hoarse. “What happened?” Dr Kita holds up two of his fingers in front of Izuku’s face.

“Mr Midoriya, how many fingers am I holding up?”

Izu grumbles, “Two.”

“Good. How are you feeling? Are you experiencing any dizziness or nausea?” Izuku shuts his eyes, his brows creased. He hums in response, "Both."

You can’t stop yourself from calling his name this time. “Izu-chan.” His eyes open immediately and he looks down at you from the slightly raised bedhead. He squints, murmuring with uncertainty at first, “[Y/n]?”

You bite the side of your lip, shifting closer to him, “Yea.”

“You’re here, babe.” His voice is still raspy.

You hum in agreement, “Of course, I’m here. You okay?”

He chuckles softly, “Mhmm I—”

Fuck. He goes to move his left hand, presumably up to his face again. He usually rubs the back of neck when gets nervous. But no hand moves. Because there’s no hand to move. You watch, lump in your throat, as he winces, letting out a groan of pain. Your eyes move with his, to the empty space that was the rest of his left arm. He looks back up at you, before turning his gaze to the doctors and nurses watching him cautiously.

“I-I don’t… I don’t understand. Am I?” He tries to move his left hand again but lets out another groan. “I-No, this can’t. I—”

“Mr Midoriya,” Dr Kita cuts him off. “Yes, we had to amputate most of your left arm. You had experienced trauma beyond repair to your left forearm and elbow from a combination of severe wounds and the use of One For All at what we suspect to be full capacity. The surgeon decided that this was for the best.”

It’s like you can hear his heart shattering into a million pieces. It shatters alongside your own. The look of pain, of sheer, tortuous, anguish across his face hearing those words, you can’t hold back your tears any longer.

You sniffle quietly as they roll down your cheeks. “Sorry,” you murmur, voice heavy with sadness. You mentally berate yourself for crying, drawing the attention to yourself when it’s not your moment. But, you can’t help it. All you want to do is give your boyfriend cuddles and tell him everything is going to be okay. That you’re going to make it through this together. But all you can do is sit there and start quietly sobbing.

“Honey.” You look up through your tears and fingers trying to wipe them away. He looks like he’s about to start crying too.

Izuku shifts his gaze from you to the doctors. “Can you give us a moment?”

“Mr Midoriya, we need to some che—”

“I’m happy to do whatever checks you want. Please, just give us some space first?”

The doctors look amongst each other, communicating in an unspoken code before taking their leave. You let out a shaky breath, looking at your boyfriend lying beside you.

“Hey," he says, his voice cracking. You both laugh. You lean forward, cupping his cheeks in your hands. His right hand grasps your lower back softly.

“I’m sorry,” you sniffle.

“For what? It’s not your fault.” He looks at you with a gentle gaze, just as gentle as his touch.

“I know but I—” you choke on your sobs.

“Hey, it’s alright.” His hand pressures you to move forward so you can lay on his chest. But you don’t. You look up into those glassy green eyes.

“I can’t," you say, your voice tight. One of your hand goes to his chest. “You’re in pain," you continue, shaking your head.

His brows knit together at this, “I-It doesn’t hurt there.” You pause before you nod knowingly.

You too can’t help but want to be close to him like this. You lay your head on his chest with care, hands close to yourself. His right hand strokes the top of your head, scarred fingers threading through your silky [h/c] locks.

You tilt your head back, looking up at him. “You don’t have to pretend it’s okay. I-I know it’s not okay.” You plant a shaky small kiss on his jaw. His hand cups your shoulder.

“Yea,” his voice trembles. “I…” You can feel his chest vibrate with the emotions rising to the surface. You hear him sniffle, and soon, you two just lay there, crying together. One of the nurses brings over a tissue box which you two drain, wiping tears away and blowing noses. No words can articulate the kind of moment you two share.

It’s only when you two have calmed down that you lift yourself up from his chest. You cup his cheek in your right palm and murmur, “You hungry? D’you want some water?” He shakes his head, sniffling up those last tears. You dab his under eyes with the ruined tissue in your other hand.

“I was m-making—” You stop to inhale and exhale a deep breath before continuing, “tofu curry when they called me.” ‘Your favourite’ you leave unspoken.

“Can you b-bring me some?” He pouts. You nod your head ‘yes’, chuckling softly as you look down, “I will but, I don’t think they’ll let me back in if I leave now. Visiting hours are over.” Izuku nods, gulping down those straggler tears.

“I think I might have left it on, so I’ll bring some tomorrow, okay?” He nods again, bringing his right hand to your cheek, thumb gently caressing the delicate skin below your eyes.

“Mr Midoriya, Miss [l/n]. Do you mind if we continue with the general check-up?” You both look at each other before looking back at Dr Kita.

“Of course,” you reply as you move away from Izuku and stand up next to his bed. “Do I have to go now or?”

Dr Kita looks up from his clipboard, “We’ve given you special clearance for tonight. In future, you’ll have to abide by visiting hours.” He’s moved from the foot of the bed to the left side, a distance away from you.

“Visiting hours are from 10am to 8pm. I would advise leaving soon if you’re catching the train back to your apartment. I’m sure you know that it’s not very safe walking around alone at night.” You hum in response.

You look back at Izuku who shakes his head in agreement. He sniffles, “I-I’ll see you tomorrow, then?” You nod, moving closer and leaning over him, placing a small kiss on his lips. Your first in a month. It’s brief but sweet. Just enough to keep you going until tomorrow.

“Stay strong for me, okay?” You say. Izuku smiles back at you.

You pull back and turn towards Dr Kita, “Thank you for all of your help, doctor. I’ll be back here tomorrow. Should I just ask at reception?”

He hums in response and says, "See you tomorrow, Miss [l/n].” You walk past Dr Kita, turning around once your approaching the doors, locking eyes with your Izu before leaving the recovery room.

The trip home is filled with replays of all that had just happened. When you got back, you found that luckily, you had in fact turned the curry off. You turn it back on, following the recipe in your mind to finish it off. Dinner, packing leftovers, dishes, all go by mindlessly. You’re still stuck in a daze by the time you sit in your plush chair in the corner of your room, pulling at your journal. It’s time to talk about it.

these are the links that I used to write this story:

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/10iiud/amputees_of_reddit_what_was_it_like_to_lose_a/

https://www.quora.com/What-is-it-like-to-lose-a-limb-in-an-accident-and-how-did-you-handle-the-emergency

https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/psychology/cyborg#:~:text=Initially%2C%20a%20cyborg%20was%20described,to%20compensate%20for%20some%20disabilities

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyborg_(DC_Comics)#:~:text=transform%20the%20city.-,Powers%20and%20abilities,speed%2C%20stamina%2C%20and%20flight

https://www.fairviewrehab.com/nursing-care/care-after-amputation/

https://www.cancercouncil.com.au/cancer-information/cancer-treatment/surgery/recovery/hospital-recovery-room/

https://www.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/definition-amputation

https://my-hero-academia-fanon.fandom.com/wiki/Cybernetic_Arms

https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2018/08/bionic-movements#:~:text=The%20bionic%20hand%20sends%20signals,hand%20is%20closing%20or%20opening

[thesewordsareallihavetogive]

Life imitates art - Dr. Jack Abbot x amputee!reader

Summary: 2.6k words. Jack is sent into a tailspin when the woman he’s been eyeing for months at his amputee support group arrives at the Pitt in a gurney. Based on this request by @seasiren212! (this is now a series! Here's the master list)

Warnings: canon-typical depiction of wounds and medical situations, cancer in remission, some medical jargon, reader’s history of BKA, Jack’s history of BKA & accident, age gap, angst, etc. The most unrealistic part of this fic is a doctor spending this much time with one patient (live laugh love the U.S. healthcare system).

a/n: ugh I cried a little bit while writing this. I’m so passionate about oncology care mwah. Abbot is working day shift in this fic. Surrender yourself to the plot and pretend he’s covering for Robby if you must. Divider credit!

At 23 years old, your leg was amputated just below the knee. You’d been fighting bone marrow cancer for a while now, and you were running out of treatment options. To mitigate the risk of significant metastasis, your oncologist recommended an amputation.

So it was off with your leg.

Before the amputation, you’d spent months in and out of the hospital. Somehow, despite the fatigue, aches, and genuine existential crisis over whether this reality was a fate better than death, you graduated with your Master's degree in art history after completing most of the program virtually from your hospital bed. You got special permission from the dean of your university’s college of the arts to defend your thesis from the hospital. Your nurses arranged for you to use a conference room on the floor and made sure everything was thoroughly cleaned to prevent the risk of secondary infection.

Your IV was hooked up to some medications you couldn’t pronounce, but by now, you’d learned how to wave your arms around wildly without letting the tubing hinder you. The thesis committee didn’t go easy on you during your defense just because you were sick. Good. You didn’t want them to. You’d researched and studied your ass off, and earned the right to defend your thesis. The one you’d spent countless sleepless nights and nauseating days working on. So what if you were presenting at UPMC’s Cancer Center?

The oncology unit staff were the first to celebrate you as soon as you made it out of the conference room with happy tears in your eyes. In the time you’d been presenting, the halls had been decorated with streamers. Balloons surrounded your hospital room, and you were given an elaborate bouquet of artificial flowers. You did it.

The RN who’d been caring for you the longest was the one to push your wheelchair across the stage during your hooding ceremony. The oncology unit staff lined the front row of the audience and cheered louder than you’d ever heard.

“MA” looked pretty damn good after your name in your email signature. The Master of Arts degree hung proudly on the wall of your apartment, a forever reminder of your resilience through it all.

It took grueling months to find the right prosthetic and get it fitted properly, and even more years of physical therapy to allow you to be here today, giving narrated walking tours through the Carnegie Museum of Art.

Jack met you at his amputee support group.

At first, he assumed you were there as a student. You were quiet. Observant. Some of the local clinical psychology degree programs assigned students to attend open support group meetings. The large, structured tote bag that followed you to every meeting supported his theory. He imagined you had a laptop, a textbook or two, and a can of Red Bull in the bag, if he had to guess.

You didn’t take notes like other students Jack saw in the past, but you didn’t seem like the type that needed to take notes in the moment, anyway. You were a breathtaking wallflower at the meetings, it was hard not to notice you. The floor-length dresses that complemented your body and draped across you in all the right places were delicate and dainty. Jack was dying to know if your personality matched your exterior.

If Abbot had to guess, he’d say the mystery girl at the amputee support group was in her mid-to-late twenties, though she didn’t necessarily dress like it. Your wardrobe was all maxi skirts and long flowy dresses, cardigans and cable knit sweaters, statement earrings and small chain necklaces. Jack overheard one of the younger group members complimenting your clothing style one day, describing it as “serving cottage core meets coastal grandma chic.” Whatever the hell that meant.

At one of the meetings, you barely showed up on time. You were flustered and a bit disheveled, blowing a stray strand of hair out of your face, but still beautiful as ever. An intricately decorated lanyard and your employee badge hung out of the purse’s wide mouth.

Your name, MA. Art Historian, Curator, and Guest Guide. Carnegie Museum of Art.

Hmm. Jack wasn’t really one for the arts. He was most creative when figuring out how to perform complex medical procedures in unconventional situations. He was methodical and analytical in his life. He approached situations and his work with scientific precision, but he could be tempted to give the museum a visit if it meant he might run into you.

The Pitt’s ambulance bay was never empty for long. Gurneys rolled in and out of the ER all day and night. After all his years in emergency medicine, few things surprised Doctor Abbot anymore.

Until you rolled in.

Dana was the first to reach the EMTs, taking report as she guided them to an available room. Doctor Abbot watched from the provider desk, his mouth slightly parted as his eyes tracked you the whole way across the Pitt.

The charge nurse barely made it out of the room and assigned the patient to Abbot before he jumped out of his seat and bee-lined to room five. “On it,” he said, to no one in particular. Dana stood back and observed his uncharacteristic movements for half a second with her hands on her hips before returning to her millions of other tasks.

Doctor Abbot pulled back the exam room curtain to reveal you sitting on the gurney, fidgeting with your museum badge and shaking your exposed shoe back and forth.

“Hi, kid,” he greeted, donning gloves. He took note of the prosthetic leg covered in floral designs resting next to your hip. Not a student. An amputee. Abbot hummed inwardly.

“Oh. Hi, Jack,” you responded, surprise gracing your face. You knew he was a doctor; he mentioned working at the hospital a couple of times during support group meetings, you just didn’t know he was a doctor here. You took him in. Frustratingly, he was handsome as ever in his black scrubs with toned, muscled arms that threatened to burst out of his short sleeves, with a badge that read Dr. Abbot. Attending Emergency Medicine Physician. Pittsburgh Trauma Medical Center.

Despite the situation, you couldn’t help but notice that his gray curls were a little more mussed than usual, like he’d run his hands through them at least half a dozen times. You yearned to follow suit.

Mateo followed Doctor Abbot into the exam room not long after and glanced between you and the physician a couple of times, trying to decipher the dynamic. It was obvious the two of you knew each other, but he kept quiet and set up the WOW for orders in case Doctor Abbot needed it.

Jack sat down smoothly on a rolling stool and scooted close to your bedside. Maybe closer than was necessary, but no one in the room objected to it.

“What brings you in?” He swept his eyes over you analytically. You looked fine on the surface, sans the removed prosthetic accompanying you against the bed rails.

“Bum leg,” you sighed. This was embarrassing. Even when you leaned back against the gurney, unsuccessfully attempting to relax, you never broke eye contact with Jack.

“Figures. Mind if I take a look?” Abbot replied without missing a beat. He rubbed his chin, eyes darting between your face and the raised slope of your leg underneath your dress.

You hesitantly pulled up your skirt to reveal the angry red skin surrounding what was left of your knee joint. For some reason, exposing your thigh felt intimate, even in the hospital. It didn’t look good, and it admittedly had Jack concerned, but he wouldn’t let you know that. At least not yet. It didn’t look like cellulitis, at least not on the surface. There was no wound weeping or skin dimpling. He’d still run cultures just to be safe.

“Are you resting your leg often? Do you remove the prosthetic?” He ran through a slew of questions. Sure, he knew more about amputations and prosthetics than the average physician, but he wanted to know more about your story.

“Well, I’ve given roughly 8 hours of walking tours through the museum every day for the past week, plus 2 hours today,” you rattled off your schedule. It was strenuous, but this was the life you worked and studied and fought to build for yourself. You had no regrets.

Jack gave you a stern look, and you shrank under his gaze. You almost reminded him that he was being hypocritical, with his 12-hour shifts at the Pitt, but decided against it.

“What else?” He pressed. You sighed.

“I can put my socks and sleeves on, but they’re tighter than normal. The prosthetic will fit on, but it hurts.” The a lot was silent, but you both knew it was there. “I was limping this morning, and I eventually fell while giving a tour,” you continued. Doctor Abbot immediately scanned you for signs of any other fall-related injury. No bruises or bumps as far as he could see. “But a guest caught me. And the museum director insisted that I get checked out. Even though I’m fine,” you finished, exasperated.

“You and I must have different definitions of ‘fine,’ my friend,” Jack exhaled and leaned back, just far enough to not topple off the stool.

A comfortable silence fell between you two while Jack weighed treatment options. This was more of an outpatient specialist matter, but he was glad you came in. He��d learned more about you in the past 15 minutes than he had in the past 3 months of staring longingly at you during the amputee support group meetings.

Mateo felt like he was intruding on a private moment. He cleared his throat and started preemptively entering orders in your chart.

“Cultures? For cellulitis rule-out, Dr. Abbot?” The physician nodded thankfully to the nurse. Jack didn’t miss the flash of fear that crossed your face. Doctor Abbot ordered an ultrasound as well, just to make sure there wasn’t an underlying abscess forming, potentially evidenced by the edema at the end of your limb.

You cleared your throat. “Could you also run a CBC?” you asked, wringing your hands together. Abbot nodded again and stood, dusting his hands on his pants to keep them busy.

“Why?” It wasn’t accusatory. He’d do it anyway if you asked for it; he just wanted to know why.

“I’m in remission. Bone marrow cancer. Doesn’t hurt to check for signs of recurrence when funky things happen,” you shrugged, though you were obviously tense as you gestured to what was left of your left while pulling your dress skirt back down.

The room went silent.

That definitely would’ve been added to your chart’s medical history if you hadn’t come in by ambulance and instead had the pleasure of meeting Lupe at registration.

Up until now, why you attended the support group meetings wasn’t Jack’s business. Now, you were his patient. Your health and history were absolutely his business now.

Doctor Abbot offered a small smile and agreed to the additional test. You didn’t want his sympathy, he knew that better than anyone. He knocked on the door frame on his way out with a promise to be back shortly.

For a minute, Jack pondered what it would’ve been like to know he’d be losing his leg before it happened. When he had his accident, the decision was made for him. The blood loss had been near fatal. He’d long since passed out when the military medics realized they were forced to decide between his life or his limb, the lesser of two evils. He wondered if he had the time to plan a new reality beforehand, if things would be any different. Any better. He didn’t think they would.

He thought you must’ve been young when you were diagnosed with cancer. You were young now, notably younger than him. He wondered when you had the amputation, how old you were—how young you were. The ‘stump’, as you called it, was healed. The multiple incisions left silvery scars on your marred skin. You had lived without the leg for quite a while now.

Mateo drew your blood panel and cultures. He carefully added the bottles and tubes into a stat biohazard lab bag with the promise that an ultrasound tech would be by soon.

“Good news and bad news,” Doctor Abbot strolled back into your exam room with results as soon as he could, true to his word.

“Good news: Blood cultures were negative and the CBC was all within normal limits. And the bad news,” he continued, scrolling through your chart on an iPad before looking up at you. You nodded with a sharp inhale and gripped the gurney’s side rail, prepping for whatever diagnosis he might deliver. His eyes softened.

“Bad news,” he said quieter, “is you’ll need to stay off that leg for a while. At least until some of the inflammation goes down. I’ll leave the specific guidance up to your prosthetist. But for now, doctor’s orders are to cut back on the 8-hour walking tours. You got a wheelchair?” He asked with his arms crossed over his distractingly broad chest. He was solution-oriented, but not convinced you would heed the medical advice. You were strong-willed, that much was evident.

You groaned and threw an arm over your face to cover your eyes. You thought of the wheelchair you’d shoved to the back of your closet years ago. After a few beats of silence, you nod. You’re not happy about the plan of care, but you agree to it nonetheless.

“Do you have someone to take you home?” Jack asked, shuffling your discharge paperwork to keep his hands busy. Otherwise, he might give in to the urge to reach out to you. 

Everyone you knew was either working or busy. Internally, you felt like a burden. The people in your life didn’t feel that way, but it didn’t make the guilt go away. You chuckled inwardly. What doesn’t kill you gives you a dark sense of humor.

“I’ll figure it out,” you replied nonchalantly, already opening the rideshare app on your phone. Jack frowned. If he weren’t in the thick of his shift, he’d offer to let you hang around in the lounge and take you home himself, but that wouldn’t be for another 5 hours. At least.

“I’ll come check on you after my shift,” he resigned. It wasn’t a question or an offer.

“You don’t have to do that,” you looked up at him from beneath your lashes, shocked that he would even suggest such a thing.

“I insist. It’ll make me feel better knowing you’re okay,” Jack replied without missing a beat. So he cares about you. Hmm. His hands found his hips, only adding to his inherent sass factor.

“You don’t know where I live,” you retorted. The banter was fun. God forbid a girl take advantage of her amputation to flirt with a silver fox trauma doc.

“I’m literally two taps away from finding your address in your chart,” Abbot smirked. He wasn’t lying. A couple of gestures on the iPad later, he was parroting your address back at you.

“Fine. But you better bring food with you.” It was your turn to leave no room for argument. You eyed him up and down, watching the way he squared his shoulders with confidence.

“It’s a date,” Jack replied easily, without thinking. You couldn’t tell whose cheeks were more flushed, yours or his. He didn’t dare take it back, though. Either way, you agreed.

“It’s a date.”

a/n: At the risk of sounding desperate, I'm begging y'all to leave comments and interact with my work. The likes are so super duper appreciated but I kind of feel like I'm posting into a void when 99% of the engagement is likes with no comments. anyway!! COMMENTS ARE REALLY APPRECIATED!! They keep me motivated to write more <3

Find more of my writing on my master list.

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[lvrclerc]

✶ 15 YEARS IN THE MAKING

summary: oscar's home race is a big deal. however, what's even bigger is the realization that he has been in love with the childhood friend waiting for him at the finish line since the day he met her. it only took him 15 years, a thousand missed opportunities and a so-called mistake to realize it.

F1 MASTERLIST | OP81 MASTERLIST

pairing: oscar piastri x childhood bff!f!reader

wc: 11.3k

cw: aus gp 2025, unaccurate aus gp 2024 for plot purpose, use of y/n, slightly inaccurate timeline, kinda bittersweet/angsty at some point, otherwise fluff + hea

note: need to cradle that man in my arms and kiss him on the forehead, special mention to @cntappen who wanted yearning oscar, hope ur satisfied 🙏 i lowkey hate this but we carry on

soundtrack: ♫ something, somehow, someday - role model

OSCAR ALMOST DROPS his mug when Hattie tells him the news. “She’s coming to the race?”

His sister nodded, shifting from one foot to the other like she didn’t quite know where to put herself ─ which was uncharacteristic of her ─ and the first things going through Oscar’s mind were Did she know? How would she know? Did she tell her? “I texted her about it ‘cause she always comes to Melbourne. I was just curious. She said she’d be coming if she was welcome with us.”

His head was spinning. Gripping the edge of the kitchen counter, Oscar chose his next words with calculated precision. “And you said…?”

“I mean, Mom said yes, obviously,” Hattie shrugged. “She loves Y/N. And she said it’s been a while since you two saw each other, might do you some good with stress and all that.”

Of course, his mom would say that. You had always been a second daughter for her, welcoming you in her home as if your place had always been next to Oscar on the living room couch. Hattie had been as enthusiastic as her, if a little confused at first, about who had developed such an attachment to her quiet, nonchalant brother. Ever since you and Oscar were children, as soon as he told his mother about the new girl next door who cut short his remote-controlled truck training on the playground, you had been included in every Piastri family dinner.

Because you were Oscar's whole world, his personal sun, the second you stepped into view ─ it would have taken someone mute, blind, and deaf not to notice it. He was just a planet, a satellite, orbiting around you in search of meaning.

Had been. Until almost a year ago.

And nobody knew except for him.

So Oscar swallowed down the lump in his throat.  “Okay, sure, that's cool,” he let out a breath. “I missed her.” The words pained him, as veracious as they were. He didn’t simply miss you like you’d miss someone you hadn’t seen in a while ─ Oscar missed you like an amputee would miss a ghost limb. The kind of pull that tears someone from the inside out, and he only had himself to blame for the ache.

If Hattie suspected something was off, she didn't say it. She chose to scrutinize him instead, eyebrows scrunched in a silent question he answered with a vague smile, as always. She spoke about how you hadn’t come to visit in quite some time, how he rarely updated them on how you were anymore, how you blossomed in your life, but the words went in one ear and out through the other.

Because you were going to the Melbourne Grand Prix, the start of the 2025 season. He didn’t know if he could handle seeing you again, not after the fiasco of the same Grand Prix, a year ago.

Guess he didn’t have much choice.

Oscar Piastri is eight when he meets you for the first time.

He was given his first remote-controlled truck for Christmas and ever since then, rare were the times he spent his full days at home. The playground, with a lot more ground than playthings for children, was a five-minute walk from his house ─ perfect for practicing, he thought. His newfound gadget made him develop a fervency he hadn’t known before, an obsession for speed. He knew Australia had championships for remote-controlled racing, his dad told him so. He wanted a part in it like he never wanted anything in the world before. Except maybe the truck.

But before he could hope of entering, he needed to get to a certain level and that meant practice. So to the playground (or park, park was a cooler word) he went.

Today wasn’t an exception. Vacations had started not so long ago, the sun was high in the sky and Oscar’s knees were raw from being dug in the gravel for so long. His thumbs were branded by the print of the remote in his hand, sweat beaded on his forehead, hair sticking to it, and maybe his vision was blurring a little. But Oscar was nothing if not determined, so he kept going as his truck narrowly avoided obstacles he put in place.

Until a water bottle replaced the self-made circuit in his visual field.

Oscar's eyes slowly trailed up in exasperation, expecting one of his younger sisters or his mother dotting on him, telling him to come back home. Instead, his breath caught a little.

You stood there, the afternoon sun casting a golden glow around you, turning the loose strands of your hair into something almost otherworldly. Oscar had never believed in angels ─ never really thought about them at all, actually ─ but at that moment he wondered if maybe, just maybe they existed. Your sundress, once pristine, was rusted with dirt, the hem brushing against your scraped knees, blood dried in uneven patches. But you didn’t seem to mind. Instead, you smiled ─ as if scuffed knees and torn dresses were just a natural part of being you.

His wide, brown eyes glided from the lukewarm bottle to you, in wonder and shock alike. Your palm was smudged in playground dust, but Oscar barely noticed ─ his gaze caught instead on the way light tangled in your hair, your eyes sparkling with something bright, untamed, unstoppable. You spoke up. “You look like you’re gonna faint. Take it. Drivers need water, right?”

Your voice, soft, shook him out of his trance: he hesitantly took the bottle from your hand, and your fingers brushed against his. Red colored the tip of his ears. He swallowed, hard, bringing the bottle to his chest. You offered him another smile in return, and Oscar felt his heart flutter.

“My name is Y/N.” Before he could even think about protesting ─ about telling you that, actually, he hadn’t asked ─ you plopped down beside him, legs folding underneath you like it was the most natural thing in the world. Your shoulder bumped against his, a casual, thoughtless kind of closeness that sent a foreign heat to the back of his neck.

Then just as he was processing that, you turned to face him- too close. Way too close.

Noses. Your noses nearly touched.

Oscar went rigid. Did you know nothing about personal space?!

You pointed behind him, at the house right next to his, visible from the park. “I live right here!”

“...No, you can’t.” Oscar finally said, frowning. He was trying to be as polite as he could muster to be in those conditions. His mom would kill him if he wasn't.

“Why?”

“Nobody lives here.”

The aggressive neutrality of his voice, a timbre unique to him, didn’t deter you in the slightest. On the contrary, it seemed like his reticence to your presence made you beam brighter at him. “That’s because we just moved here, duh. See that car? It’s my mom’s.”

The indifference in Oscar slowly turned to confusion, or as close as it could get to curiosity. There was indeed a baby blue car parked in the driveway he never saw before. For as long as he could remember, which was not a lot, it was always vacant. Until today, apparently. “Oh. We’re neighbors, then.”

Your smile widened, eyes practically shining in excitement. “That’s so cool! I was scared I was gonna be the only kid here.”

Oscar barely heard you, too busy staring at where your arm pressed against his. Was it normal? Were other kids just… this close of each other? Because he wasn’t used to it, not at all. “... How old are you?”

“Eight!” You practically bounced as you said it.

“Me too.”

Your face lit up. Oh no.

“That’s even better! We can be friends! Best friends, even!”

Wait, what.

Oscar blinked, his mind screeching to a halt. That escalated fast. Weren’t there supposed to be multiple steps before deciding to be lifelong friends? Had he missed something? “Uh─”

“What’s your name?” You asked with renewed enthusiasm if it was even possible to add to that.

“... Oscar. Oscar Piastri.”

“Nice to meet you Oscar Piastri from next door!” You held out your hand and, much to his surprise, Oscar took it. Hesitantly, awkwardly, yes, but he still did. The strange, unfamiliar feeling tugging at his stomach wouldn’t let him do otherwise. “I like your truck,” you continued, fingers still wrapped around his like you didn’t even notice. “Can I try it?”

Oscar was way too focused on your palm still sitting in his to process your words. Was he supposed to pull away first? “I… I don’t─”

“Or I could watch you! I don’t mind. I was watching you in the tree back there anyways.”

Oscar blinked. It explained the stains and the scratches, he thought. He still couldn’t believe that there was a whole girl like her in a tree, spying on him, and he had been so caught up by his remote-controlled truck to even notice it. Just as if you could read his thoughts, a sheepish look made its way to your face, lips pursuing as you finally ─ finally ─ let go of his hand. “Mom doesn’t like when I do that,” you admitted as if it were a secret. “But it’s fine. I can wash the dress.”

He stared. There was… something about you, Something about the way you sparkled even when you sat still, the way your presence felt bigger than your little body. He swallowed, nudging the controller toward you before he could regret his decision. “Try.” His voice came out weird. “It’s boring to watch.” 

The twinkling in your eyes was worth every crash that came after this. You were struggling, and hitting every obstacle he skillfully steered away from. Each and every hit was accompanied by a giggle or an exaggerated groan but even though you were terrible, as Oscar tactfully noticed, it still looked like you were having the most fun you had in years.

When he had to go home, you walked him to the door with a spring in your step, occupying the conversational space with random facts about the world. Something about how octopuses had three hearts, how clouds weren’t actually as soft as they looked, and how the color yellow made people happy. Oscar didn’t say much, he never really did, but he contentedly listened.

And then, just as the door swung open, before he could even process the way he wanted to stay a little bit longer, you turned to his mom with all the confidence of someone who had already decided the outcome. “Can Oscar come back tomorrow?” His mom barely had time to blink, but Oscar already knew─ it was over.

Because the moment she said yes, the second the fierce little girl beside him claimed more time with him like it was hers to take, it was sealed. After that, it came as naturally as breathing. Oscar and Y/N. Y/N and Oscar. Never one without the other. You led, he followed. And, somewhere along the way, the rest of the world stopped mattering.

You were a constant in Oscar’s life, a lifeline he clung to without realizing he had reached for it in the first place. He got into karting at ten and nothing─ not his dad's last-minute pep talks, not the hours of practice ─ could calm the way his hands trembled on the steering wheel before his first race. His fingers curled on it, hands trembling and grip tight, knuckles aching from the pressure. What if he wasn’t actually good? What if he messed it all up? What if─?

And then, there you were. Signature grin, messy ponytail, a tiny hand sign scribbled in clashy, colorful letters: GO, OSCAR GO!! The words were surrounded by questionable doodles ─ stick-figure cars with lopsided wheels, a few stray hearts in the margins like an afterthought. “I came to watch you win,” you said, like there was no other possibility. After that, the race was just a race.

The moment you dropped a chaste kiss on his helmet, all nerves settled. When he passed by you, you brandished your sign high in the air, a beacon, the only thing he really needed to see. He won that race with his head held high and in the middle of celebration ─ his mom hugging him tight, cheers echoing all around ─ he silently dedicated his victory to you.

Because when he scanned the crowd, your eyes were the easiest to find. Because nothing ever felt better than the feeling of you running in his arms right after.

And just like that─ childhood blurred into early adolescence in a flurry of incandescent polaroids: late afternoon on track, whooping as Oscar made his laps, stolen moments on the swings at the playground between school and training, a thousand shared snacks, juice boxes, whispers, a million inside jokes and secrets. Summers spent side by side, laughter tangled in the air like something meant to last forever.

Years of Oscar and Y/N. Y/N and Oscar. No space between. No questions about what you were to each other. Not yet. 

But Oscar Piastri is fifteen when he leaves you behind.

He had been offered a seat in Formula 4. The words came in a rush, tumbling from an ecstatic Chris Piastri and an equally thrilled Nicole Piastri, their voices nearly overlapping in excitement. Oscar heard them, he knew what they were saying and yet his mind refused to catch up. He sat there, cereal spoon dangling in the air, milk dripping back in his bowl.

The world around him blurred─ static in his ears, something like disbelief flooding his veins. He had wanted this. Trained for this. But now that it was real, it was as if his body had forgotten how to move. So you did it first.

Your arms wrapped around his neck without a second thought, squeezing tight. A hug that made it impossible to do anything but exist in the moment. He unfroze: the weight of your warmth, how you clung to him without any reservation, it yanked him back. His hands had found your back, gripping instinctively. It hit him all at once: Formula 4. His dream was real. And you were here, like always.

Until you wouldn’t be anymore.

Everything slipped past Oscar in a blur: he applied to a boarding school and got accepted in the same week, his parents were already looking for a house nearby, and his mom searching for job opportunities ─ in Brighton, England, closer to where he would be practicing. A thousand kilometers away from Australia, a thousand memories away from you.

One thing you learned in your years of friendship with Oscar was that he wasn’t much of a talker. He wasn’t big on the expression of feelings either ─ he showed affection softly, when he thought people wouldn’t notice. But you did, and you never planned on doing anything about it because that was just how Oscar was: reserved, hesitant in his tenderness. So the conversation about his departure never came ─ it was just a weight, hanging in the air of your every interaction, untouched. He didn’t want to venture there, to face how he wouldn’t wake up next to you anymore after another sleepover, how he would have to learn how to exist without you at arm’s reach. The lack of you was already digging a hole in his chest, and it was one of the main reasons he said no to your proposition of a send-off party.

But Oscar knew you too, too well, so he was only half-surprised when he turned on the light of his house after training and discovered the crowd of your shared friends amidst colorful balloons and cakes. You stood out in all of them when you offered him the smile that was uniquely his, and Oscar’s chest almost collapsed.

The party was fun. He got goodbye gifts ─ trinkets, plushies and books he knew he’ll lose sleep over. He didn’t dance to the music, but enjoyed watching people lose themselves in the soft light of his kitchen from the sidelines. Some friends cried and some friends didn’t ─ he side-hugged them all, never letting them too close except for a select few, and he accepted the heartfelt speeches with reassurances that he will come back during the summer, without a doubt.

The night slowed, party leftovers forgotten on the counters, and the house was quieter now that most of the guests had filtered out. Only a few stragglers remained inside, their voices dimmed to an unobtrusive murmur. But Oscar, the supposed star of the show, was hesitating in the threshold of his front door ─ because you were outside. And wherever you went, he followed.

You were sitting on the front door steps, arms wrapped around your knees, bathed in the dim glow of the porch light. The soft hum of cicadas filled the space as Oscar sat beside you. He knew he should say something, anything. Thank you for the party, even though he swore he didn’t want one. You were right, because of course, you were. Or finally address what was begging to be talked about ─ he just didn’t know how. Because sitting right here, with you just a few inches away, he realizes this is it. 

This is the last night before everything changes, and he can’t do anything about it. So he stays silent.

“You’re freaking out,” you say. Not a question. Your observant eyes flickered to his face, gaze soft in the way that makes his breath catch.

Oscar exhales sharply, tipping his head back against the wooden railing. “Am not.”

You give him a look. The look that always calls his bullshit. “Alright, I am.” He swallows, voice quieter. “A little.”

A pause. And then─ a nudge. Your knee bumping into his. A small, familiar thing, but somehow it unravels him. His eyes are burning, and he can’t pinpoint why. “You’ll be fine, Osc’’,” you affirmed, as certain as the sun rising tomorrow. “As long as you don’t forget about me.” A quiet laugh escaped you.

And Oscar could feel it, the thick air between you, pressing against his throat and sitting on his tongue. How could he ever forget about you? You were sitting so close, staring at him as if tucking him in some secret place inside of you. Oscar hated it, so much that it finally slipped─ “I don’t want to go.”

It came out quieter than he expected. Your lips parted slightly, brows furrowed, and Oscar felt like he said too much and not enough at the same time. Because he did want to go, but what he meant was, I don’t want to go if it means leaving you, I don’t know how to exist without you in my orbit. What he really meant, he couldn’t understand what it was no matter how hard he tried.

He forced out a chuckle, shaking his head. “I mean─” Oscar cleared his throat. “I do. Obviously. It’s just─ It’s gonna be weird.”

“Yeah, it is,” you murmured, flushing against his shoulder. “But we’ll make it work.”

Oscar looked at you, really did. The way the light caught the edges of your face, the night breeze playing with your hair, how you existed so beautifully and effortlessly, as you belonged in all the places he had ever loved. The words almost slipped out: You could come with me.

It was right there, clawing its way up his throat.

Yet, something stopped him. Because it wasn’t fair. Because he didn’t know what it meant. Because he didn’t know if he was asking like a best friend or something else, and he didn’t know what to do with the way you were constricting his chest, how you pressed against his ribcage, demanding more. You looked at Oscar and he looked at you ─ he swallowed it down, staring at the playground far in front of you. 

And the moment passed.

Oscar left the day after, and the empty house was now the one next to yours.

Your hotel room was eerily quiet.

You were never known for silence ─ all your life, people had repeatedly told you about the overwhelming space you occupied, how loud your laugh echoed, how you never quite knew how to fold and pocket yourself to be less. Growing up, adults meant it in an endearing way. Now, you realized just how much the words stung, even if you never took them as insults. But here, in the uncomfortable coldness of the room you rented for the week-end, everything was quiet: no music, no you talking to yourself. Nothing.

It felt unnatural ─ like something was missing. The one thing that always reassured you about the room you took up.

It left you restless, and your hands trembled a little as you finished applying the last layer of mascara on your lashes. Maybe it was just nerves ─ after all, it’s been a while since you’ve been on a race and hung out with Hattie, Edie, Mae, Nicole, and Chris. Ever since you moved out for university, the city of Melbourne and all of the memories it held always managed to make you a bit anxious.

However, deep down, you knew. It’s the fact that for the first time in over a year, you were going to see Oscar.

Your reflection stared back at you in the mirror as you dropped your makeup next to the sink. You couldn’t decipher your own expression.

Hattie texted you out of nowhere, and even though it wasn’t unusual for you two to talk from time to time, it surprised you a bit when she asked you if you were going to the Grand Prix. It shouldn’t have, she didn’t know ─ or maybe she suspected something, but you still said you’d be coming. So Nicole was on her way to pick you up and take you to the same spot you’ve been occupying since 2023, and you’ll have to sit and act as if everything was alright, as if her son was the best friend you grew up with and didn’t become an acquaintance overnight that you occasionally exchanged “good morning”, “good night”, “happy birthday” and “how are you doing?” texts with.

Because ever since that fateful night after the Melbourne Grand Prix of 2024, something shifted between you and Oscar. Something that had been weighing on you both for years, waiting, waiting, waiting- until it finally cracked, only to narrowly miss you. And now? You didn’t know his weekly schedule, and you couldn’t remember the last time you complained about your teachers to him. You and Oscar weren’t quite strangers, but you weren’t you anymore either. 

Because whatever had been waiting that night never had a chance to be resolved. And maybe it never would.

You shut your eyes, your breathing quickening dangerously. No. You weren’t going to think about that right now. It’s fine ─ you’re just here to watch a race like you always did. Just another race. It didn't have to mean anything more than that, did it? You’ll cheer, you’ll congratulate him, and you’ll leave. Even if it was his home race. Even if it was in the same city you laughed in his backyard, held hands running in the streets, stayed awake at ungodly hours of the night tangled together, the city you had both known and lost each other.

Frankly, you weren’t sure what you were expecting─ what you even wanted this weekend to be. All you knew was that you desperately wanted to grasp at the last semblance of normalcy that used to be between Oscar and you, and if that meant showing up at the Melbourne race and praying for his car to see the checkered flag in pole position like the deepest parts of your heart weren’t screaming for him, so be it.

When Nicole called you to tell you she parked her car, you took a deep breath and walked to the elevator, carefully ignoring the sickening feeling of your stomach reminding you that, in Melbourne, there was no simply ignoring the past anymore.

Oscar Piastri is twenty when he tells you the news.

Five years have passed ever since he moved out of Australia, but no matter how the years stretched between then and now, racetracks and podium dreams, Oscar always made sure of one thing: that he’d come back. Back to his neighborhood, these streets, the quiet buzz of familiarity.

And back to you.

Time had tried its best to pull you apart with different schedules, different time zones, and places, but you two were still an unstoppable force. Y/N and Oscar. Oscar and Y/N. No matter how late the flights, how long the race weekends, how exhausting the training, he always called ─ even if it was past midnight, or he had to wake up in three hours, or he could barely keep his eyes open. Because your voice, distant and barely audible through the crackling of a bad signal, was home. And you always picked up.

Oscar missed it. He made friends in boarding school, a group of laid-back guys who filled the late hours with video games and terrible jokes, making his new world a little less foreign. He enjoyed their company, sure, but none of them were you. None of them could look at him and already know what he was thinking, like the syllables were etched in your bones, and they didn’t tilt their head up at the sky on a rusty swing set, taking him with them, and spun the world into something bigger. God, he missed that. He missed you.

Even though, sometimes, he wondered if you missed him just as much.

Obviously, since Oscar left, you had to build something for yourself in the space he left behind, and it only became more concrete when you enrolled in a university away from Melbourne. He tried to be happy for you when you did. But then you would tell him about a friend group he didn’t know the faces of, threading into the places he used to be and the places he’d never been, the ones he couldn’t visit with you like the café near your 10 a.m. lecture on Fridays. 

Sometimes, only sometimes, when he allowed himself to feel a bit more than he should, the scraps of emotions he usually denied himself ─ he was scared he didn’t belong in the new sphere you’ve constructed for yourself. That he was a dusty polaroid in a wooden box, waiting for the day you’d tuck him away.

But that had to be wrong. It had to be. Because the second your eyes found his as he stepped out of the airport, it was like nothing had changed. Like the months apart, the missed calls, the milestones he couldn’t be there for ─ none of it mattered.

The way you looked at him, like he was still your Oscar, the boy you always had known and always will, it made up for everything.

You had been there when Oscar graduated from Formula 4 to Formula 3. You had been right by his side when Formula 3 turned to Formula 2 the following year. Whether it be by phone or in person when the good news coincided with both of your trips to your childhood neighborhood. Your excited screech, your lips on his cheek twisting his stomach and painting his cheeks red, he figured it was just common sense for you to learn he’s been promoted a third time in person. He wanted to see your reaction.

Whenever you and Oscar came back, your mom would welcome you with open arms in your old home. There were only two bedrooms, one that was your mom’s, which used to be awkward for him before it became a common occurrence for you two to share a bed. Both your parents had forbidden it, but quickly gave up when you used to find a way to sneak into Oscar’s bedroom and keep him awake. Their resolve vanished entirely when they noticed quiet, untroubled Oscar started getting on it as well.

So there you were, twenty years old in your childhood bedroom, sharing a bed too small for your height. The window was half-opened, the air thick and unmoving, letting in the last shreds of sunset that danced across your skin in soft, golden streaks. You were facing each other, which allowed him to see your eyes flutter, heavy with exhaustion, your breathing slow and even as if the mere act of being near him was enough to let you rest.

Oscar flushed at that thought. You had spent hours driving just to come and get him, to fall in bed beside him, limbs tangled, words fading into the quiet comfort of home. Just to be here, with him.

He wanted to wait. Until your eyes were wide open and you were awake enough to react like you always did: in screams and hugs and plans of the future. But the warmth curling in his chest wasn’t allowing him to keep it from you any longer.

“I got a seat in Formula One,” Oscar announced in the silence of the room.

“What?” Your voice was hoarse from tiredness, but it didn’t stop your sharp gaze from snapping to his. Your lips parted, just barely, an inhale caught in your throat, and Oscar gets distracted.

He shouldn’t, not now, but─ he can’t help it.

How many times had he seen you like this? Sleep-heavy, warm with exhaustion, curled up beside him. Too many to count. Not once had it felt like this, like something heavier rested on his shoulders.

He repeats with a little difficulty, forcing himself back to the moment. “I got a seat in Formula One.” He swallows before precising, “Not Alpine. McLaren.”

You blinked. Once, twice, your brain catching up with the weight of his words. Then, before Oscar could brace himself, you were moving.

You crashed into him, as much as you could in the position you were, tucking yourself against his chest in the semblance of a hug. The pressure was nothing, still, the air was knocked out of his lungs. “You did it!” You whispered-yelled against his shoulder, voice trembling with emotion. “Oh my god, Osc’. You did it. I fucking knew you would.”

Of course, you knew. You always knew before Oscar did, before he even started believing in it himself. A scoff, wet with feelings, escaped him as his shaky fingers hovered over your ribs, processing the situation. You pulled back, just enough to look at him, pupils blown wide. The palm that wasn’t resting on his chest slipped up, featherlight, to cup his cheek. Oscar almost flinched. “I wanted to tell you earlier, but─”

“Don’t even start,” you interrupted him. “You’re going to be in Formula One! In McLaren! That’s huge, and─”

Realization hits you like a truck. “Oh my god, Daniel Ricciardo.”

Out of all the things that could have ruined the moment, Oscar wouldn’t have expected it to be Daniel Ricciardo. “Yeah,” he deadpanned. “Everyone loves Daniel. We get it. My mom said the same thing.”

A disbelieving laugh escaped you, and you shoved him a little. “Come on, it’s a shock for me!”

“It’s also pressure, but thank you so much for your consideration.”

“I congratulated you two seconds ago!”

“I’m sure Daniel would love your condolences even more.”

By that point, you were a giggling mess beneath Oscar’s hands, so much that the sound successfully got a few huffs out of him as well. The pressure of the news evaporated at each new chuckle out of your mouth, and the room was finally big enough to breathe.

Laughter died down, reduced to heavy intakes of air between half-sentences, and that’s when Oscar realized.

Your fingers, gently brushing over his cheekbones, nails grazing his skin. His palms capturing your sides as your thigh rested between his legs. He wasn’t pulling you in, clinging to you like he always did ─ instead, he froze. His heart was stuttering too fast, too loud, in a way that had nothing to do with the news he’d just shared and you simply stared at him, eyes sparkling, as if he handed you the World Driver’s Championship trophy right here and there. Waiting for something.

The heat of your body, your usual proximity, the soft cotton of the sheets did nothing to help the blood boiling in Oscar’s veins and thoughts spiraled in a blink, of what it would be like if he just let his hand roam a little lower, if your breath swept over his lips. 

Words lodged themselves in his throat, just like they did when he was fifteen, sitting on his porch. But this time, he knew. No pretense, no excuse. He was twenty years old, not a child anymore. He knew what these words were and what they wanted to be.

You could come with me. You could come to my races. You could stay. Stay with me.

His chest squeezed. His fingers twisted. His mouth stayed shut.

Because you had a life here. A life that, lately, felt like it had more and more spaces he didn’t fit into. What was he supposed to say? Drop everything? Follow me? Give up everything you built and choose me?

Oscar Piastri wasn’t a wishful thinker, he didn’t ask for things he wasn’t sure he could have ─ and he wasn’t sure he could have you. Not because he didn’t want to, he desperately wanted to, but because he still didn’t understand it. He didn’t get why you put that ache in his chest, the weight in his ribs. Why it was more painful to be away from you, to see you live without him, than his old friend group ─ he put the fault on nostalgia, but it wasn’t it. He had spent years trying to figure it out and still ─ still ─ didn’t have the answer.

So he did what he’d usually do when meaning escaped him. 

He buried it. He’ll take a look at it. He’ll figure it out later.

“Being in F1,” he cleared his throat. “It’s going to be harder, with the schedule and all that. But I promise─”

“You don’t need to,” you cut him off and Oscar noticed the light slightly dim in your eyes, then coming back like nothing happened. “We’ll make it work, we always do.”

You pulled back again, taking your hand with you and letting the cold air replace your touch. Somehow, Oscar knew he did something, but once more he didn’t know what. Instead, he let himself believe the moment was nothing more than what it had always been. Nothing more than you, his best friend, happy for him.

But as you fell asleep, the distance put by you larger than it ever was before, even by just a few millimeters, something inside of him whispered─ liar.

Oscar got in his car, and yet his mind was as far away from it as it could be. Walking out the garage, he had seen his entire family cheering for him, his mom dropping a good-luck kiss on his cheek, and he should be grounded in the moment. He should be basking in the cheers of his home crowd and the familiarity of Australian air opening his season, but he couldn't. Because there was no sign of you.

He had thrown a glance at Hattie, a silent question, and she simply shrugged. Oscar didn't know what that meant: if you excused yourself for a moment or didn't come at all. Which one he was hoping for, that was the question.

And so the formation lap started. The car was feeling good, great even ─ Oscar had done well during the testing rounds and free practices, even landing second place in qualifications right behind Lando. His chest had swelled with hope that maybe, just maybe, he could take on his home race. He brushed the podium last year, how far could he be from taking it with both hands this time?

He could hear his race engineer checking last minute details, the impatient buzzing of the crowd, the motor of his car warming up and flaring to life. It was a sound, a rhythm he could recognize eyes closed.

As the lap concluded, cars finally ready to live through 58 rounds, a streak of hair caught his eye.

If he could decipher the metre of a Grand Prix with his eyes closed, Oscar knew he could recognize the pattern of you before you even came into view. It was brief─ almost a blur, but it was more than enough.

Through the haze of rain-slicked asphalt and the relentless roar of the engine, he caught you. Standing with his family against the edge of the garage like you belonged there, which you did, hands clasped tight against your chest like you were the one in the car, navigating the turns for him. Your hair, wild from the wind, dampened by the drizzle, framing your face. God.

You came. 

After everything, you were really there.

For him.

Oscar pulled his car in P2, but the flickering red lights above him did nothing to calm his racing mind. You always watched his races like this: lived through them like they were your own. Somehow, that made it easier. The loneliness of battling against your own, the relentless push forward. You made it lighter, less suffocating. You always have been. And you were ready to watch him race again, after everything. His chest twisted, his grip on the steering wheel tightened.

And even in the current circumstances, Oscar wasn’t thinking about the race. Not at all.

For what he wished could have been the first time, but wasn’t, the car was filled with the thought of you.

Because it hits him. Like a crash, full speed, sparks flying. Why missing you hurt so much. Why, after a year of unnatural distance of swallowing down whatever had possessed him that night in Melbourne a year ago, he still felt like something lacked.

Oh.

And before he could process it all, it was lights out.

Oscar Piastri is twenty-two when he fucks it up.

The Melbourne Grand Prix didn’t go so badly, but it didn’t go well either. Oscar had been so close to getting a podium on his home race, and watching his colleague, his friend, receiving the applause of his home crowd left a bitter feeling in the back of his throat. He cheered and congratulated, because he was a good sport and genuinely happy for Lando, but the uneasiness didn’t leave him when the cameras turned off.

It was a sticky heaviness in his ribcage, glued to it like molten plastic, tightening with every half-smile and “good jobs” aimed at him. He should’ve been happy, ecstatic. But he just wasn’t.

So he forced himself to go out to celebrate anyway, even half-heartedly. He didn’t want to look like the asshole he really felt like, so he nodded at conversations he wasn’t listening to, let the bass drum against his skin in a club he didn’t even want to be into.

Oscar lasted maybe an hour.

The flashing lights felt too bright, the press of bodies too wrong for his current state of mind. The scent of alcohol curled in his nose, sharp and sour, and something in him was teetering to break the last agreeable bone in his body. As he got out of the club, he thought about how he wanted to be anywhere else but here, suffocating in his own unjustified frustration. 

The only place he wanted to be was with you.

He barely had time to see you before he got whisked away by his team and interviewers. He wanted to tell you about the race, about what he thought, because you were the only one he enjoyed being listened to by, the only one it didn’t feel awkward. No matter how much he tried to shove things down, to ignore whatever it was that had been thrumming under his skin- you were still the first person he reached for. So before he could really think about it, he’d already dialed your number. “Hey, I’m sorry, I know─ Can you hear me? Yeah? Alright. I know it’s late but… can you pick me up?”

And of course you did. Because you were Oscar and Y/N. Y/N and Oscar. Because no matter where or when─ when Oscar called, you always came.

Your car was in front of the building not even ten minutes later, and he got in. His favorite music on the aux, he smiled at the attention, easy conversation started flowing between the two of you as you drove to the driveway of your house. You didn’t ask why he left. You knew he’d talk about it when he wanted to, if you pressed on the issue he would only close up more ─ get sarcastic, avoidant.

So you both sat on your front porch, the night silent around you, still warm from the heat of the day. “... don’t think he'll be able to walk home tomorrow,” Oscar commented.

“He got third and he's still getting shitfaced like that?” You asked with a disbelieving laugh. “Wonder what will happen for his first pole position.”

“I don't even want to think about it,” he sighed. “His PR team is gonna have a field day.”

“Wonder what will happen during yours, to be honest.” You bumped your shoulder with his, something so casual that still sent the familiar shivers down his spine. “What kind of celebration are you going to pull in Australia, huh?”

The simple sentence was cold rain on Oscar’s newfound relaxation. He knew you didn’t mean it like that, you never would, but his shoulders tensed up and his gaze drifted away from yours. “Yeah, well, at the rhythm it’s going, maybe we’ll have a party when I retire.”

You threw him a glance, the kind that knew what was lying behind all of his barriers, behind the sudden phone call. Oscar let out a heavy sigh, rubbing the material of his jeans. 

“Is that why you asked me to pick you up?” You ended up asking, voice soft. You weren’t trying to pry too much, and he silently thanked you for it. For everything, really.

“I didn’t want to be there,” he answered.

There was nothing more to say: Oscar was bitter and that was the end of it ─ or maybe not, but he didn’t want to get into it tonight when the feelings were still raw, painfully open to see. Yet, your hand found his, stilling the restless motion of his hand against his thigh. Slowly, deliberately, you wove them together. Your palms, warm and steady, rested above his knee. “Then why’d you go? We could have done something. Just the both of us, y’know.”

This time, Oscar looked at you.

And it was all too much. Worry laced in the edges of your expression, the subtle scrunch of your eyebrows he would have missed if he didn’t know you as well as he did, your hand in his ─ steady, grounding. It belonged there, he thought, it always did. You cared about him, that’s what scared him at first ─ because you were sunlight, not the kind that burned but the kind that warmed. The constant, unwavering glow of a beacon that guided him, never pulled him under.

And yet, there he was. Drowning in the mess he tried to push away for so long and was coming back full force, with a simple touch of the hand.

Oscar had two drinks earlier, and it made everything too sharp, his emotions too messy. His tongue a little too loose.

“I thought if I pretended hard enough, it would go away.” He didn’t know if he was talking about the race anymore.

You scooted closer, as if sharing a secret, but the closeness was too intimate for the situation. “What would?” You asked in a whisper.

Oscar’s breath hitched at the way the streetlamps caught in your hair, how your eyes searched his. There was a shift in the air, in the barely-there space between the two of you, in the way your fingers refused to let go of the grip it had on the other.

He should let go.

But your lips parted, ever so slightly, and Oscar allowed his gaze to dip to them. He kissed girls before, he even had a few short-lived relationships, but none of them ever felt right, like they belonged in a lasting manner in his life. They always felt like placeholders for something else, something more, less of a daunting feeling in his guts. He never really told you about it ─ it had always been an unspoken rule in your friendship, without knowing why. Now, he had a sneaky, unnerving suspicion.

Oscar kissed girls before, but he never kissed you.

He didn’t know if it was a mistake. He didn’t know if he should cross that line, but God he wanted to ─ he only knew that he wasn’t sure of what was waiting for him on the other side of it. His heart hammered in his chest, so hard he was afraid you’d hear it. You leaned in, imperceptibly, and your warm breath brushed against his lips. If he let himself, just for a second─ one tiny, irreversible second─ he would kiss you.

He was close. Too close. Feelings were too many. He needed to tell you before something could happen.

“Come with me,” Oscar blurted out, in a murmur along the shape of your lips, a plea in the leftover space.

And just like that, he felt the moment slip away from him. Your eyes, now sharp, snapped to him in a swift movement. And that’s when he knew. That wasn’t the right thing to say or do.

“What?” Your voice was quiet, laced with disbelief. Confusion swirled in your pupils, wondering if you misheard or if he misspoke.

Maybe he had. Maybe this wasn’t how it was supposed to come out- not here, not now, not like this.

“I- Uh…,” Oscar stammered. “Come with me. Stay. For the next races.” Please.

You pulled away, and the lack of you in his space caused his head to spin, his heart still beating violently against his chest, this time in panic. What did he do?

“What are you asking me exactly, Osc’?”

The question of the day. Because what was he asking, really? To be there for the few days in between flights and training and traveling and pretending his world wasn’t moving too fast for him to catch his breath? Sit in the stands, waiting for him to make up his mind about something he had been wondering about for the past fourteen years? Because what did he mean, and why couldn’t he understand?

It wasn’t fair. Not to you.

He swallowed, throat tight with something he couldn’t name and suddenly the night was too cold to stay outside anymore. Oscar forced out a weak chuckle, like it was just some stupid joke as if the word hadn’t crawled out of his chest on their own. “I meant─” He ran a quick hand through his hair. “Ha. Never mind. Forget it.”

And this time, when the light dimmed in your eyes, it didn’t come back. You won’t forget it. Because you saw right through him. Still, you didn’t push ─ every time you did, disappointment crawled over you like insects. After a beat of silence, one that felt like a lifetime, you exhaled, something fragile flashing across your features before you masked it with a tight-lipped smile. He hated it.

You nodded. “Sure.” Just that. Oscar didn’t know what he was expecting. No questions, accusations.

But that was almost worse, you let him get away with it, with the almost, with all of it.

When you both went to sleep that night, it was the first time in forever you didn’t sleep in the same bed. You pretended to have a headache, said you’d join him once it settled down. Oscar fell into slumber alone. 

For some reason, it felt like losing.

Saying to have known love at eight years old would have to be a lie, but Oscar knew you jump-started his heart the minute your laugh echoed in his ear at that playground, fifteen years ago.

He had been pathetically doomed from the start.

From the first glance, to the first laugh, to when your fingers grazed his when you took the controller to his truck ─ a touch so small that had burned itself into his memory like a brand. He was too young to understand what it meant at fifteen when he sat beside you on his porch. Too blind to recognize it at twenty, lying in your childhood bedroom and hands fisting the sheets to stop them from reaching for you. Too scared to act on it last year, close enough to touch and closer than you had been in years and he still let the moment pass him.

The truth was simply this: no matter what, Oscar had always known. Maybe not at eight, maybe not at fifteen. But deep inside, he had always, always known. And he had spent every year since then trying to ignore it.

Not anymore. He couldn’t ─ not when he messed it up last time. Not when he was on the verge of losing you for good.

Oscar Piastri loves you, like a madman, and he needed to tell you like someone drowning needed air.

But to do that, he’d have to get out of the patch of grass he got himself into first.

The track was slippery due to the rain, and a simple mistake could lead to tragic circumstances: this was one of them. Oscar was stuck in the grass of the circuit after a turn he took too narrowly. He lost his P2, the one of his home race he had been searching for since last year. The scream of frustration he let out had earned a pained groan from his race engineer, and to make it worse, he was apparently already written as Out.

But that wouldn’t happen. Because Oscar didn’t go after things he knew he couldn’t have ─but he knew he could have this race. He could finish it. He wouldn’t DNF.

And after he’d be done with it, he’d go after you.

So he dragged himself out under the cheers of his home crowd, an ecstatic buzz in his ears. The last of the laps passed in an angry blur: Oscar was driven by sheer determination, rage even, he could barely remember overtaking Hamilton, fighting his way to P9, and grabbing as many points as he could have in his situation. He could do it.

The race ended in a flurry of applause, some of them surprisingly directed at him. Oscar tried to get out of his car as fast as he could but under the special circumstances of his race, he knew getting past the journalists and commentators was going to be almost impossible. And it was, because as soon as he put a foot on paddock ground, he was swarmed by microphones, cameras, and flashing lights, waiting for every tear to turn into a headline that people would twist and shape.

A few hours passed by the time he was finally able to reach his family. After the regular hugs and reassurances, one of the first things his mom said was: “That’s too bad you just missed Y/N, she had to go back. I wish she could have stayed, she always knows what to say to you,” with motherly little taps on the cheek.

Oscar felt a hole opening in his chest. “She left?” He asked, trying to muster as much nonchalance as he could. 

It wasn’t very efficient, as Nicole gave him the kind of look you’d give to a kicked puppy. “Yeah, she did.” Quickly, she added, “She didn’t go back to her hotel, though. I asked to drop her off and she refused, saying she had somewhere to be.”

It was as vague as it could possibly get, maybe because you didn’t want Oscar to seek you out. But he needed to, he had to get it off his chest before your relationship could worsen ─ and he couldn’t do that by text or calls, for the little you exchanged over the past year. He had to know if the little gap you almost crossed on that front porch meant something and could have been something if he hadn’t fucked it up. If it was too late for it to become something now. And knowing you, you’d be gone by tomorrow morning.

Oscar dashed. 

He got into his car, drove too fast under the intensifying rain. There was no time to waste for him. What he was thinking about was a long shot, an extremely long one for a non-wishful thinker, but if today put you in the same state as him ─ there was a chance, a small one, that you’d be there. 

When he pulled into your childhood neighborhood, his drenched windshield made the road and its surroundings almost indiscernible. But right before the little street leading to both of your houses, he passed by that old, worn-down playground that somehow stood against the test of time, with its rusted swing set and old dirt roads. But his breath didn’t catch on that, no.

It caught on you, sitting on the lower branches of the tree you spied him on at eight.

Oscar had never parked so hastily. He never ran so fast, soaking the McLaren hoodie he put on in a rush before going out. His hair stuck to his forehead and when he reached the dry soil underneath the tree you were hiding on. Arms around yourself, staring in the empty, like you were holding yourself together.

He hesitated momentarily, and all the fears plaguing his mind the past years came rushing back. What if it was too late? What if all he’d get was a final goodbye?

Then you turned, and your gaze found his in the settling dark. All doubts vanished at the same moment ─ he’d rather regret saying too much and grasp at the chance of something than live the rest of his life in silence, drowning in the regrets of saying nothing at all.

“Y/N,” he called, a little strangled, arms dangling at his side.

“Oscar?” You frowned, jumping the small distance separating you from the ground. “What-? How’d you know─?”

“I… guessed.”

“Oh.”

Silence. The incessant rhythm of the rain filled the space as you both stared each other down. Waiting. What was he supposed to say now? “So… uh. How are you?”

Your eyes widened, and a scoff escaped you. “How am─?” You crossed your arms on your chest, staring at Oscar like he had grown a second head ─ and maybe he had, because he couldn’t even try to think straight. “I’m good, Oscar. Great. How was the race?”

“It was─” He stopped, swallowed. It felt plastic, strange ─ the distance, the iciness. Both of you knew you weren’t really inquiring about the race, you knew him better than anyone and probably guessed how it felt already, and he wasn’t really inquiring about you.

It was the first time you saw each other after last year, and everything felt more real. Heavy.

“Did you forget how to talk, Osc’?”

Osc’. You haven't called him that in a long time.

A nervous chuckle escaped him. You were so far and so close at the same time, hair frizzy from the dampness, knees scratched from your recent climb ─ he missed you, you were right there and he still missed you, because you were slowly slipping through his fingers. The last bit of his resolve crumbled.

“Y/N, I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

Oscar never showed too much emotion. But here he was, drenched by the rainfall, eyes open and raw. And you didn't know what to do with that. You shifted on your feet. “For what?”

He exhaled sharply, running a hand through his damp hair, frustration bleeding into the gesture. “You know what for.”

“That’s not enough. Not anymore.” Your voice was laced with barely contained emotions, strangling you.

He knew. Oscar stepped forward tentatively, just once. Enough to make you look up at him, and he held your gaze even as it twisted with the kind of hurt he never wanted to be responsible for, but had to be faced with. Because he had. And he had to own up to it ─ so everything spilled out.

“I fucked up, last year. Big time.” His voice cracked. He couldn’t care less. “And I know- shit, I know I’m probably too late. I should’ve said something back then, but I didn’t know how or what or why.”

“I was scared. Not just of ruining things, even though it was a part of it, but of─ of what it meant. I didn’t understand, Y/N. I didn’t get why you were the first person I looked for in a room, why I felt so goddamn lost when I moved out and you weren’t there anymore, why seeing you living your own life without me was─ I don’t know, I guess I’m selfish or something.” His throat burned. “And that night─ here, last year─ I should’ve known. Fuck, I think I knew long before then but I was just so blind. When I asked you to come with me, and we─ I should’ve known why. I did. I just─ I didn’t want to mess it up. I didn’t want to lose you.”

Oscar let out a short, breathless laugh, shaking his head. “But I did anyway. I messed it all up because I couldn’t make up my mind, and I don’t blame you if you don’t─ if you can’t─”

He couldn’t finish the sentence.

The rain pattered against the dirt and the surrounding pavement, unrelenting, like both of your heartbeats. Oscar’s fingers twitched, aching to reach for you ─ but he wouldn’t do it. Not unless you let him.

Finally, you spoke. “You’re the biggest idiot I met in my entire life, Osc’. You’re so stupid.”

Your voice was teary, but you didn’t cry. You weren’t angry. You weren’t turning away. You simply stared at him, lips parted ─ barely smiling, but it was there.

Oscar blinked rapidly, taken aback. “I know,” he admitted, his voice a whisper, “but I love you.”

There it was. After fifteen years, there it was: the plain truth, out in the open for you to see. What he spent his time running from, what he should have told you so long ago.

You didn’t react. Your eyes widened, a sharp inhale went through your mouth and you stared, frozen in place. Oscar panicked. “I understand if you don’t─ I mean, after everything, I get it if─ Or, or maybe I misread, but─”

“Say it again.”

Your voice was authoritative. Hopeful. And this time, a tear slid down your cheek. His heart skipped a bit. “I love you.”

And Oscar Piastri is twenty-three when he kisses you for the first time.

Your hands grabbed the hood of his sweatshirt, pulling him to you. The crash of your lips against his was sudden, but it didn’t take Oscar long to find a rhythm ─ not when it made so much sense, not when it felt so right. Finally.

A shudder rippled through him, something snapping back into place. It was messy, desperate ─ years of missed chances spilling out at once. You exhaled against his mouth and Oscar felt it everywhere, in the way his fingers trembled when he cupped your cheeks, how his knees almost buckled when you got closer, in the way his world narrowed down to just you. His mouth against yours. Fuck.

You pulled away, just for a second. “Osc─”

“Not yet,” he rasped. And he captured your lips a second time, choking out any other words.

How had he gone so long without this? Without knowing what it was like to have you like this?

He tilted his head, deepening the kiss, his tongue slipping past your lips. Desire, want, love, all of it blurred in the way his fingers wove into your hair, when he slowly brought them down to your waist, pulling you against him, hungry, greedy.

If he wanted you to come with him so badly the past few years wasn’t because he needed you at his side ─ he still did, but that wasn’t the gist of it. Now that you were falling apart against his lips, hands making a mess of his rain-drenched hair, he knew he had wanted you next to him because he wasn’t allowing himself to have you. He had wanted you in his chest, curled beneath his ribs, a part of him so irrevocably that no miles, no years, no silence could ever pull you away.

And now, he had you. Shit, if that wasn’t like ascending to heaven felt like, he didn’t know what would.

You put a hand on his chest, slowly, and when you separated Oscar found himself longing for more, for every instance he passed on. Yet, the wide smile on your face stopped him ─ because you looked perfect like this, bright and open, taking up space. That’s why he fell in love with you.

“I love you too. So much,” you said, and the words softly blossomed in Oscar’s chest like spring. He dropped his forehead against yours.

“Me too. I love you. You don’t even know,” he breathed out, his lips slowly dropping a kiss on your forehead. “It feels so good to say it. To know.”

You grabbed the string of his hoodies, toying with them as you’d usually do, but every single one of your actions sent another wave of heat in Oscar’s neck when he remembered what you tasted like. “You could’ve felt good about it earlier, y’know.”

He arched a teasing eyebrow at you and you giggled. “I’m sorry, but the realizing-i’m-in-love-with-my-childhood-best-friend didn’t really come with an instruction material. The confession either.”

“You were pretty dramatic, true, with the rain and the running,” you laughed. “It was gonna be pretty easy for me last year, honestly. Until you bailed.”

Oscar groaned, and his head dropped on your shoulder. “I’m never gonna hear the end of this, am I?”

“Oh yeah, you’re in for a long ride, Piastri.” A long ride. That sounded amazing.

Realization hit him at full force, harder than a crash. “Wait, what do you mean last year?”

Your hand went up, wiping a raindrop dripping down his cheek, and the look you gave him was overflowing with fondness. “I mean that before you tried to kiss me, that night, I would’ve told you I’ve been in love with you ever since I started spying on you at the playground.”

“You…?” Oscar’s mouth dropped open. Had he really been that blind? How many signs had he missed, exactly? “How─”

You kissed him. A quick, hard peck on the lips, but that was enough to shut him up and get him to melt against you once more. “Let’s not talk about it here. I’m cold, and I think it’s the type of discussion that’s too long to have outside,” you said, slipping your hand in his. “My mom would love to make us coffee, if you want.”

Oscar sighed at the familiar feeling, fingers tangling with yours in a well-known pattern. He missed the both of you, and now he got to have it in a better way. “You’re sure? I’d love to, but is your mom─”

“Don’t even worry. She’s been calling me Mrs. Piastri for years now, I think the news will move her to tears.”

So you runned back to the porch of your house where you’d sat years ago, drenched in the deluge but happier than you’ve ever been. Oscar loved you, he knew now. And you loved him back, it was worth the rain, the missed opportunities, the hesitation and the heart wrenching confessions that will follow as you sit down.

You were worth the vulnerability, Oscar thought when you crossed the threshold. You were worth everything.

A year later, Oscar is standing in pole position for the Australian Grand Prix of 2026.

Qualifications went great, keeping the fastest lap position for all rounds. He was confident in his capacity ─ last year had tested his patience and goodwill, but he only came out stronger, more resilient.

The home race curse was a popular saying in Formula One, and sadly he fell victim to it ever since he put his feet in a McLaren in 2023. He had hoped to win the Melbourne race, to bring back the trophy under the cheers of his home crowd and the screams of his family ─ but this year wasn’t for hoping: if there was one thing you taught him, it is that hoping never achieved anything. Actions did. And he was going to win the Australian Grand Prix.

You were standing in your usual spot, orange headphones on, all in smiles and shouts. Hattie next to you playfully shoved an elbow in your ribs to get you to quiet down, which only made you louder. Oscar was persuaded he could hear you above the sound of his race engineer. Or maybe he didn’t. Maybe the thought of you swirled around every mechanism of his car like it always did.

Today marked one year since you and Oscar got together. Since the kiss, the realization, the heartfelt confessions above a steaming cup of gingerbread coffee in the middle of summer because your mom affirmed it was a big occasion before leaving the two of you alone. And the fifteen years it took for you to finally get to that point were a painful obstacle of unsaid and what ifs, taking a few months to finally get out of the way, and plenty of awkward conversations ─ but how beautiful was the other side of it.

Devotion and love, gentle and kind. The impulsive dates, the good morning kisses when Oscar had enough time to come and visit, his hand resting comfortably on your lower back, “Oscar Piastri’s partner” on the screen when the camera was pointing at you during races, the weekend getaways.

Oscar noticed the large, varsity top hung on you, a bright orange with the large number 81 written in white. Just underneath, the words Mrs. Piastri were written in a similar font. You had it custom-made a few months into the relationship, simply because the comment about your mother the day he kissed you became a regular inside joke between the two of you.

It made Oscar’s heart flutter every time you wore it.

He observed the red lights above him, flickering out one by one. He thought about it: how the fifteen years of being apart made every day spent with you seem like too little, how he couldn’t get enough of you and how he didn’t want to.

Suddenly, Oscar couldn’t wait for the race to end. Because he was going to keep his P1 with his skills and the speed of his car, and brandish the trophy high on the podium for the country who raised him. Because after, he will rush out in your arms and kiss you until the air in his body runs out. Because he had a girl to get, and plans to make.

Because even though it was only a year spent together, Oscar Piastri is twenty-four when he decides he wants to marry you, and he was not about to wait fifteen more years to make it happen.

©DRGNSFLY 2k25 ─ do not copy, steal, post somewhere else or translate my work without my permission.

[wroetolando]

𝙼𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚃𝚑𝚊𝚗 𝙴𝚗𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 | 𝙻𝙽𝟺

𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴: lando norris x fem!reader

𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: the one where the world doesn’t know you’re an amputee, but lando does—and he helps in all the little ways that matter, until one day, a fall at silverstone reveals everything

𝗺𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗰: apocalypse - cigarettes after sex

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: none!

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・

You never expected Lando to treat you any differently when he found out about your prosthetic leg. You’d been prepared for hesitation, for awkward questions, maybe even for pity. But you got none of that.

Instead, you got Lando Norris—the same goofy, teasing, fiercely protective man he always was. The one who made you laugh until your stomach hurt, the one who knew exactly how you liked your tea, and the one who never, not once, made your prosthetic feel like a limitation.

The fans didn’t know. Not because you were ashamed, but because it wasn’t something you talked about publicly. To Lando, it was just a part of you—something he adapted to without hesitation, in all the little ways that mattered.

They didn’t see those moments.

They didn’t see the way he naturally adjusted his pace to match yours when you were walking through the paddock. Or how he always carried a small first-aid kit in his backpack, just in case your prosthetic irritated your skin. They didn’t see how he looked at you—not with pity, but with absolute, unwavering love.

But one day, the world found out.

And everything changed.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・

The Way He Walked

Lando always walked on your left side.

At first, you thought it was a coincidence. He never brought it up, never made a show of it, but it was always the same. Whether you were strolling down pit lane, navigating a crowded paddock, or walking through an airport, he positioned himself so he could be closest to your prosthetic.

In case you lost your balance. In case the ground was uneven. In case you needed just a little extra stability.

One day, you finally called him out on it.

“You always walk on my left,” you mused as you strolled through London together, your fingers laced with his.

Lando glanced down at you, a knowing smile tugging at his lips. “Yeah. So?”

“So,” you echoed, narrowing your eyes playfully. “You do it on purpose.”

He shrugged, like it was the simplest thing in the world. “It’s just instinct now. I like knowing I’m there if you need me.”

Your heart melted right there on the pavement.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・

The Airport Routine

You hated airport security.

The extra steps, the awkward stares—it was exhausting. You’d gotten used to it over the years, but that didn’t make it any less frustrating.

Lando made it easier.

Whenever you traveled together, he had a system. He held both of your passports, carried your bags, and kept an arm loosely around you as you approached security. He knew the drill—how you had to remove your prosthetic sometimes, how the metal detectors would go off, how TSA agents could be unpredictable in their reactions.

One time, in Miami, an agent asked you to walk through without it.

Lando tensed beside you, his protective instincts flaring, but he didn’t say anything. Not yet.

You steadied yourself, taking a slow, practiced step forward, trying not to let the discomfort show. But Lando saw. He always saw.

And before you could even reach for your prosthetic, he was already crouched down, lifting it gently, handing it back to you like it was the most natural thing in the world.

The agent stared. You sighed. Lando just smiled.

“All good, love?” he asked, helping you adjust.

You nodded, swallowing the lump in your throat. “Yeah. Thanks.”

He pressed a quick kiss to your temple. “Always.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・

Race Weekend Adjustments

Lando’s world moved at 300 km/h. Yours didn’t.

Race weekends were chaotic—crowds, cameras, endless walking. You adapted, of course, but Lando adapted with you.

He always made sure McLaren had a seat for you nearby. If you were standing for too long, he noticed before you even said anything. If you were walking too much, he suggested a “spontaneous” coffee break. If your prosthetic was irritating your skin after hours on your feet, he disappeared and returned with bandages and cooling gel like he’d been preparing for it all week.

One time, in Austria, you didn’t even realize you were limping slightly until Lando gently steered you toward a private hospitality lounge.

“Sit,” he said simply, nudging you onto the couch.

You started to protest, but he knelt down in front of you, hands ghosting over your leg. “Does it hurt?”

“A little,” you admitted. “It’s just rubbing weird today.”

Lando nodded, already digging into his backpack. “Good thing I came prepared.”

You blinked as he pulled out a small roll of bandages and a cooling spray. “You just… carry that around?”

He smirked, tapping his temple. “I’m a man of many talents.”

Your chest ached in the best way.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・

The Day the World Found Out

It happened at Silverstone.

You were in the McLaren garage, standing behind the engineers, watching as Lando prepared for his home race. The energy was electric, the fans chanting his name just outside.

Then it happened.

One second, you were fine. The next, your foot slipped on a slick spot near the garage entrance. Your balance wavered, your body tilting before you could react—

And suddenly, you were on the ground.

It wasn’t dramatic, but it was noticeable. The people around you turned, startled.

Lando was at your side instantly.

“Hey, hey—are you okay?” His hands were firm but gentle as they helped you sit up, his voice tight with worry.

You nodded quickly, cheeks burning as you adjusted your leg. “Yeah, just slipped.”

But then you saw it—the way people were staring. The way their eyes flickered from you… to your prosthetic, which had become slightly visible in the fall.

The realization hit like a tidal wave.

They knew.

Lando knew it too. And he didn’t hesitate—not for a second.

Instead of brushing it off, instead of acting like it was something to be hidden, he crouched beside you, blocking out the cameras, his focus entirely on you.

“Here,” he murmured, adjusting your prosthetic for you before wrapping an arm around your waist and helping you stand. His grip was steady, reassuring. “You good?”

You swallowed hard, nodding. “Yeah.”

Lando smiled, squeezing your hand. “Then let’s go.”

And just like that, it didn’t matter.

The moment went viral before the race even started.

“Lando helping his girlfriend after she slipped… my heart.”

“Wait, was she wearing a prosthetic?? That’s amazing.”

“The way he didn’t even flinch. He just helped her like it was the most normal thing in the world.”

“She’s incredible. We need to hear her story!”

For the first time, the world saw what Lando had always known.

That you were strong. That you were capable.

And that, to him, you were more than enough.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・

masterlist

[smiteswrites]

A Different Kind of Pain

Part One

Description: After losing a gem of a next door neighbor, Jack worries what the new resident will be like. Instead of a young obnoxious college kid, he meets you. Instantly struck by your warm nature (and good looks but he won't admit to that), Jack finds himself drawn to you in a way he hasn't experienced in years.

Tags: reader is a chemistry grad student bc i say so, shameless self insert, fem!reader, trying to avoid too many specific descriptors on readers appearance but i am new to this, reader is shorter than jack, widower!Jack, Jack talks ab therapy, trying to do justice to the fact that Jack is an amputee, but again I am not an expert, just some fluff and feelings, eventual smut, and so mdni 18+

A/N: Thank you all for the encouragement on the first version of this! It has been really really amazing to know people enjoy my ideas and writing and absolutely wild that y'all want more. I really love this idea and have many many plans for these two. I hope to get part two written and out this week. I am thinking around 3-4 parts total, but we shall see. This is starts similar to this post, but I made some changes and expanded quite a bit. I hope you enjoy and please send me asks/dms if you have any suggestions/comments/feedback on anything! I am always open to improving and learning.

gif credit - @iluvseb | divider credit - @cursed-carmine

Part One - 3k

Jack has been living in the left half of a red brick duplex, unit 101A, long enough to see a handful of tenants come and go on the right side, 102A. There was a college kid whose prefrontal cortex was just underdeveloped enough for him to be nothing but a pain in Jack’s ass. Needless to say, not his favorite neighbor. Then there was a young couple who were perfectly lovely until they had to move somewhere with two bedrooms to accommodate an incoming little one (Jack had been sure to give them his number in case they ever needed a friend in the ED). Most recently an older woman, Mrs. McAlister, who had regularly brought Jack all manner of baked goods and leftovers, had moved out and into her daughter's house. 

The unfortunate loss of Mrs. McAlister’s cooking meant that the right half of his duplex (and yes he thought of it as his by this point) was empty. Jack couldn’t help but feel a sense of dread creep in as he watched the last of Mrs. McAlister’s things be packed into a UHaul on Saturday afternoon. Would his new neighbor be another sweet elderly woman? Or would he get stuck with some obnoxious twenty something with no common courtesy? 

Fortunately for Jack, he didn’t have to wait long to find out. Housing got snatched up fast in a city like Pittsburgh, especially housing that was halfway decent and affordable, so it was no surprise that 102A was empty for under 48 hours. 

His first glimpse of the new tenant comes when Jack is arriving back home from a shift, just before 8 am on a Monday. He isn’t surprised to see a moving truck out front, nor is he surprised to see you directing the two movers on where to put furniture and boxes. He can tell you're young, in your twenties is his guess, which immediately sets his nerves on edge. Jack doesn’t think he can handle anymore house parties or loud hookups or trash left out. But you have a quiet, competent air about you that seems to indicate you aren't going to cause a ruckus. You appear to be alone, aside from the movers. He finds himself looking for evidence of a partner, husband, wife, without really meaning to. Forcing himself to not be overly nosy, Jack moves past the two men, now carrying part of a bed frame, and lets himself into 101. 

After a shower and the last of Mrs. McAlister’s roast (bless that woman), Jack is dressed in grey sweats and a black t-shirt, ready for bed. Despite the sleep threatening to overcome him, he finds himself looking out his window to check in on the status of your move. Apparently you had gotten here early, because he can see you handing the movers a wad of cash and sending them on their way. Before he really knows what he’s doing, he’s grabbed his prosthetic and is hurrying to get the damn thing back on so he can step back outside. He may as well catch you as you’re heading back inside, introduce himself, make sure he doesn’t need to be concerned about having another pain in his ass next door. It is the neighborly thing to do after all, he reasons. 

Another moment finds him a couple steps outside his door, clearing his throat to catch your attention from where you’re examining the front facing window of 102. 

“I’m Jack. Abbot. I’m in 101. Figured I should introduce myself, welcome you to the neighborhood and all.” He outstretches his hand, wondering if a handshake is still what people do these days.

Smiling, you shake his hand firmly and give him your name, he lets out a quiet sigh of relief. It is at this moment Jack finally takes you in fully. He was right, he thinks, you must be in your mid twenties, no ring on your finger, and certainly not a pain in his ass. You stand a handful of inches shorter than him, just enough that you have to look up to make eye contact. The smile you are giving him is radiant in a way that makes his stomach feel tight. He can see you’re flushed from the exertion of carrying boxes and helping to move furniture, and your hair has begun to fall from where you had it back. 

But even though you aren’t at your most put together, Jack is left feeling off balance, as he can only see you as the most raw and real kind of beautiful. The kind of beauty that comes with a bright smile, dewy skin, and pink chinks. The kind that has as much to do with physical appearance as it does a person’s character. The kind of beauty that reminds him of his late wife when they first met. Even though he is just meeting you, Jack likes to think his gut is usually right about people, and his gut is telling him that you are exactly the type of kind, caring, intelligent person that spells nothing but trouble for him.

“It’s very nice to meet you Jack! I hope the movers weren’t too much of a disturbance, it seems like a quiet little haven around here.” 

“About as close to a haven as you can get in the city,” he agrees with a small smile. “And don’t mention it, you weren’t a disturbance at all.” 

In the few minutes the two of you spend chatting he finds out you’re a fourth year graduate student, “A PhD in chemistry? You might just be a bigger masochist than me.” You somehow work nearly as many hours as he does, and he finds your work ethic dizzyingly attractive. You moved to the area in the hope of finding somewhere a little quieter, some place where you didn’t feel like people were packed in like sardines. You aren’t from PA, but you have a couple close friends in town and your family tries to visit often. You confirm his suspicions when you tell him you’re single and don’t have any kids or pets so there shouldn’t be any noise waking him up through the night.

“Actually, I’m an attending in the ED, usually on night shift. Sounds like you aren't home much during the day, but-” 

“Don’t worry Jack, I’ll keep it down during the day too. You can always bang on the wall if I’m being to loud,” 

He feels the corners of his mouth twitch up. “Thanks, sweetheart.” It slips before he can catch up to his mouth. Even though he knows he shouldn’t be giving you nicknames, and definitely not that kind, the pink that dusts your cheeks at the term of endearment is enough to make him want to call you nothing else. 

“Uh- listen I’ve gotta get to bed, but let me give you my number in case you need anything.  Neighbor or doctor wise,” he says, shooting you a wink. 

“Thank you, that’s very sweet of you doctor.” 

And god, he knows you mean it in a teasing way, but it does nothing to help the steadily growing attraction he feels towards you. He knows he is at least 15 years too old, and far too emotionally unavailable to even entertain the idea of being with you. He knows. But when you smile at him like he’s just offered to hang the moon and stars for you, he really doesn’t know what to do with himself. 

It’s just his number, no harm in you having it, and certainly no reason it has to have any underlying intention behind it. That’s what he tells himself anyway. 

He puts his number in your phone when you hand it to him, putting “Jack Abbot” as the name and “the guy in 101A and doctor at PTMC” in the notes for good measure. You thank him again, giving his hand a squeeze as he returns the phone. You say your goodbyes, and he retreats into his black out curtain and noise machine generated paradise. The last thing he sees before shutting his eyes is a text from an unknown number with your name, just so he can save your number too. 

You are going to be a pain in his ass alright, a kind he didn’t even think to be worried about. 

After your initial introduction, Jack assumes (worries) the two of you won't see much of each other. During your initial meeting, in an effort to reassure him you wouldn’t make too much noise during the day, you had inadvertently given him your schedule: 6:45 am leave for work, 7-5 ish suffer, 5:30 pm arrive home from work. With anyone else he would be glad to know that there would be no one next door to disturb his sleep, but instead he could only focus on the fact that he would rarely, if ever, run into you. 

His assumption proved to be correct for the first two weeks of your time in 102A, only seeing you on occasion as he left for work. But, about halfway through week three, Jack wakes up earlier than normal. By the time 5:30 pm rolls around and he’s supposed to be on call for another 13.5  hours, he feels himself starting to get restless. It’s a nice day outside with a high of 75 and a low of 52, the sun has set enough to cast an orange glow on the city, but not enough that it’s going to be dark soon, and Jack has a rare burst of energy. His therapist has been telling him some sunshine goes a long way, and he didn’t spend all that money on the fucking sports prosethic to not use it. 

By 5:42 pm Jack is in athletic shorts and a t-shirt, sports prosthetic on. He makes it about two steps out his front door, still adjusting the stupid prosthetic, when he senses he isn't alone. Straightening up, he realizes you’ve just come out of your front door as well. His gaze travels upwards from your feet as he makes his way to his full height. You’re dressed similar to himself in athletic shorts with a matching jacket, and he has to force himself to not linger on the exposed skin of your legs. When he does meet your eyes, he finds you smiling at him in a way that suggests you caught his little slip up, but are too polite to mention it. 

“Hey Jack! Are you heading out for an evening run? Well- I guess it would technically be morning for you, sorry,” You laugh at yourself lightly, cheeks coloring only the slightest bit. Whether it’s from embarrassment at the slip up or something else he can’t be sure. 

Either way, he gives you what he hopes is a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry, I still consider this to be evening. I am a proud night lurker, there is no part of me that wants to be waking up before 3 pm.” A small fit of giggles overtakes you, and he feels his smile turn into something more genuine. 

“But no, not much of a runner,” he gestures to his right leg where the prosthetic is on display. “I’m on call tonight and can’t do much besides hang out here, figured a walk might do me some good.” 

To your credit, your expression only falters slightly when you take in his leg, quickly recovering to match his eye contact as you listen. You nod, humming warmly in agreement, still keeping your eyes locked on his. “I have to agree. I’m also not much of a runner but I try to walk after lab most days. I think it’s a great way to reset after a long day.” 

“Sounds like you’re the evening walk expert then?” 

“Something like that,” you joke back. 

Jack knows that the conversation is winding down, it’s time for him to wish you a good walk and find a reason to hang back until you go on your way. Wait to see which direction you turn before beginning to walk in the opposite way. But Jack also knows that you’ve been looking at him with an attentiveness that, while he gives freely, is rarely if ever matched. If there were ever a sign of not wanting a conversation to end, he thinks the way you’re looking at him is surely it. 

Fuck it. 

“Well, I’m new to this whole walking for fun thing, maybe you could show me the best route to take?” 

Your eyes brighten, “Of course! I mean, obviously I’m new to the area, but I think I’ve found a good path. It’s about 30 minutes, if that’s good with you?” 

“Of course, lead the way,” he gestures forward with his hand, indicating for you to lead the way, leaning forward slightly as he does so. If you notice the way he stumbles forward slightly as his weight shifts on an unfamiliar right foot, you don’t say anything. But Jack swears he you’re biting the inside of your cheek to fight off a grin as you walk down the steps. 

Fucking sports prosthetic. 

The walk is… nice. Nicer than Jack expected. He can hear the birds chirping in the trees that are awkwardly implanted in the sidewalk. He can hear the sounds of the city too (sirens, honking, a plane overhead) but they’re less pronounced than normal. The two of you walk side by side as you lead him through parts of his neighborhood he’s never really taken the time to look at. You point out a café that apparently ‘makes a mean oat milk latte.’ 

“I hate to fulfill the old white guy stereotype, but I only drink my coffee black.” Self-deprecation as a form of self-defence, the oldest trick in the book. 

“As horrifying as that information is,” you begin, closing your eyes and placing a hand on your chest, “I also can get behind a black coffee, so if you’re calling yourself old you’re gonna have to call me old too.” You smile at him and make eye contact for only a moment before breaking looking at the pavement a few feet ahead of you.

“Besides, you have got to be the sexiest ‘old guy’ I’ve ever seen so I’d be wearing that badge proudly if I were you.” You put your hands up in mock defensiveness and accentuate your point with air quotes. 

He really isn’t sure what to do with himself besides laugh. Looking at you now, he could tell that even if you were uncertain, you were not the type of woman to let him get away with putting himself down. Nothing to do but admit defeat. 

“I think I’ll be quite happy with that title.” 

By the time the duplex is coming back into view Jack has learned that you’ve been walking everyday for years after a suggestion from a therapist. He’s learned that you “actually thought about going to medical school, but turns out biology and me don’t get along.” He’s also relearned more about chemistry than he ever hoped he would have to after asking the simple question “What does your lab research?” 

He had told you his own therapist had suggested he ‘get his ass outside’ more often, and that maybe the shrink was right more often than he wanted to give the guy credit for. He also shared one of his gorrier work stories and had been impressed when you were hanging on to his every word rather than going green. More importantly, he had only let himself spend about 3 minutes total looking at the way the sunlight caught your hair, or the way it framed your face as it fell from the loose bun you had it in, or at your lips as you spoke rather than your face, or at the necklace laying against the soft place where your neck met your collar bones. Just 3 minutes, not bad at all, practically a record. 

As you approach the front steps you hesitate, and he feels it too, he thinks. The uncertainty of where the two of you stand with one another. Jack knows where he stands, and he has a feeling he knows where you do too, he hadn’t been the only one with a staring problem. But even if Jack thinks he knows, he doesn’t really know. 

“Thank you for sharing your route with me, I think I was right to call you the walk expert.” He shoots you a trademark Abbot smirk, trying to put a lid on whatever feelings may or may not have been simmering during the past 30 minutes. 

“Anytime Jack, it was nice to have some company.” The smile you give him in return is softer, warmer than his own. For not the first time, and certainly not the last, he feels torn about how to approach you. He knows this feeling, he’s felt it before and it landed him in a world of heartbreak and pain. It was a place he’s worked hard to move on from, and thank god he can see now that while yes feelings, raw and vulnerable, can end in pain they are also what make life worth living. 

He isn’t sure where the two of you stand, after all you’ve barely started to get to know each other. However, he is sure that he wants to at least give himself the chance to find out, no matter how scary or stupid a choice it might be.  

“Well… maybe we could do this again sometime? I know my therapist would throw a fucking party if he got word of me not only being out in daylight but also socializing outside of work.” 

“I’d love that,” you smile wider now, staring at your feet briefly and rocking back on your heels slightly before looking back up at him. “I’ll be here a little after 5:30 pretty much everyday, join me whenever you like. Okay?” 

“Okay,” he feels his own expression melt into something so sickly sweet his cheeks hurt. “Goodnight, sweetheart.” 

“Goodnight, Jack.”

[ddejavvu]

do you think hiccup would be down for period sex? like when he sees his partner in so much pain and discomfort all he wants to do is make them feel good

The Red Death - Hiccup Haddock x Reader

contents/warnings: smut, minors dni. afab!fem!reader, period sex, blood, fingering as foreplay, don't like don't read.

a/n: yes i giggled when i decided on the title. what's it to you. this wasn't meant to be anything more than like 500 words maybe? but i just ended one of the worst periods of my entire life so this connected with something deep and primal inside of me. do you know how many times i've jacked it while on my period to be able to bring you this. everyone thank me for my hard work and arduous research.

wc: 2.2k / navigation / inbox / summer of series

"I don't know how many times I have to tell you this is gonna be gross. And messy," You peer nervously up at Hiccup, feeling greedy despite having been placated through each step of the process thus far.

"And I don't know how many times I have to tell you that I don't care." Hiccup levels you with a stern smirk, "We have three sheets laid out. Three. If we can wash- well, you know, the normal mess out of one, we can wash this out of three."

"We can burn them for all I care," You throw a hand over your face, hiding behind it like it shields you entirely, "I'm talking about us. You will be messy. Your- I mean it's gonna get all over you! Your hands and your thighs and... It's just going to be a big bloody mess."

"Have you forgotten that you're talking to an amputee? I only have one leg." Hiccup narrows his eyes at you, "This won't be the first time I see a big bloody mess but it'll at least be miles better than the last time I saw one."

"I don't know about that," You hum resignedly, and Hiccup straightens the pillow beneath your hips one final time before crawling onto the bed and straddling your hips.

"I do. Just relax. Keep your eyes closed, if you want." He offers, his hands braced on your belly that's churning, but with anxiety or with cramping you can't discern, "Let's just try it once, and if it goes south we don't ever have to even talk about it again."

You're more worried that he'll have a change of heart midway through, disgusted by the crimson staining every inch of his skin, and decide he never wants to talk with you about anything ever again, but you're sure voicing that concern would only make things worse, so you clamp your jaw shut and keep your hand firmly planted over your eyes.

You can feel him peel away your underwear, your panty liner surely a gruesome sight. That's another thing you hadn't considered- you should have disposed of it beforehand! - but if he cares, he doesn't mention it. He starts with his hands on your thighs, thumbs rubbing soothing circles into the crease between thigh and groin. Then he moves for the lips of your sex, gently parting them and getting a glimpse of your red-soaked cunt.

You're sure you're a mess inside and out, but his movements don't contain hesitation. They're gentle, like he always is, but sure in the same way. It's comforting, reassuring to know that he hasn't abandoned ship yet.

"I'm probably wet enough just from the blood." You admit, still blinded by your palm, embarrassed to even speak the thought aloud, "You don't have to prep me."

"I want to." He hums, his voice soft as his finger runs lightly down your slit, inducing a shiver that shoots straight to your core, "I'm not doing this to get my rocks off, this is for you."

He'd made that clear from the get-go, but something funny still happens in your stomach when he says it. He's always been caring, thoughtful, intentional, but you rarely get to appreciate it during your lust-crazed quickies the way you do now, laid bare and vulnerable for the man slowly staining his fingers red for you.

You're sure by now he's messy, but part of you still wants to believe that somehow, the well has run dry, and he's seeing you at your best down there. But he never backs off, only gently putting pressure against your slit to breach your lips and grant him access to the wet, hot sex beneath.

Your hips involuntarily squirm against the pillow beneath them as he presses one finger in, carefully guiding it in slow, stroking motions that get deeper the more he repeats them. They're shallow at first, barely diving a quarter of the way into your full depth. But as you settle on the pillow again he pushes deeper, until he's reached the spongy spot deep within you that's already feeling strange. It's an awkward feeling, being touched so deeply, pleasurable when paired with other sensations but not enough on its own to induce any toe-curling pleasure. As such, all you do is gasp, and he draws his finger out to ease a second one in.

"It is like lube," He notes, and you feel the tacky substance sticking to your skin- you can't imagine his own - "But is it really slick enough, or does it chafe?"

"It's-" You squirm at the question, cheeks burning hotter than the fire downstairs, "I don't know! That's gross."

"I'm knuckle-deep in blood." Hiccup smarts, and you uncover your eyes daringly, just to glare at him, "Do you really think you need to be embarrassed right now?"

"It's not lube." You huff, "It's not as smooth. It's not- gritty, but it's just not the same consistency. It's good enough, though. I don't think I need anything else."

"I don't want to rely on it," He hushes you, and you succumb to the pleasure of feeling two of his fingers inside of you. Your knees would buckle if you were standing, but you merely tense your thighs instead, briefly trapping his hand in place. He watches, his teeth momentarily digging into his lower lip. When you relax, he slowly draws his hand out, thrusting back in at a steady rhythm.

"Does it hurt?" He asks, and you shake your head as the pain resides in your gut.

"No. It's more in my stomach. But a- y'know, an orgasm," You speak with burning cheeks, "-that helps. All of the muscles expand and contract and it pushes things through. And sometimes the cramping goes away."

"Stretch out," He orders, smoothing his clean, warm hand over your belly, "Don't clench your muscles."

"I'm trying," You whine, feeling pleasure building slowly but surely as his fingers rake through your cunt. He's brushing your clit with his thumb, maybe accidentally with how gentle it is, but each feather-light touch makes your stomach swoop, traded for the pain writhing just below your gut.

You're growing content with him fingering you despite the mess it'll make, but when your pleasure starts climbing higher and higher, you draw your hips back, stopping him from pushing his fingers back inside of your hole again.

"Wait, wait! I'm ready," You pant, your cunt now stinging with desire, "If you still want to-"

"I still want to." Hiccup rushes to unbuckle his belt, which is another thing you should have considered before this affair, because he's holding his red-stained hand uselessly at his side, and his other one fumbles with the buckle. You end up sitting up to help him, and he watches with one crimson hand suspended in midair as you masterfully undo his belt buckle.

"Watching you do that is really- I love you." He blurts, and as evidence, you see his pants, stretchy and light for dragon riding, but sturdy for the life of a viking, shift just slightly.

At least he's as prepared as you are.

You help him shimmy out of his leggings and it's less sexy than it could be, but you're being eaten alive by your nerves so you're not judging a thing he does. There's nothing to be ashamed of here, not the dark, bloody mess that's become of his hand or the way his dick throbs in the open air like it's seen you.

He grows steadily harder to the point that you're not worried about any rushed foreplay, and you see him officially stain the bedsheets beneath you as he grips onto one of them regardless of the red adorning his fingers. It's far enough away from your head that you're not put off by it, but you're sure you'll be mortified when scrubbing the sheets later.

"Do you need a minute?" He asks, now inches away from your face as he hovers over you. His warm hand is no longer your personal heating pad but it's perfect where it is, cupping your jaw and holding your face steady where it rests near his own.

"No, I'm ready. Please-? I'm," You squirm briefly, your pussy begging for stimuli, "I'm really ready."

"Me too," He admits, a breathy groan as he lines himself up. The merest contact his tip makes with the hot, wet mess your cunt has become has his head dipping down, a strangled cry escaping his throat. It's nothing more than a whisper, but it reignites the slowly dwindling flame of bliss below your stomach that replaces any lingering discomfort from your cramps.

His face is pressed into your shoulder and he barely gets himself together enough to raise it, kissing up the underside of your chin and over your jawbone. He latches onto your lips and practically sucks, kissing you with tongue and teeth and desperation. He's always been good kisser, but it doesn't come from skill or technique, it comes from the need. He licks at your lips like he'll die if you don't let him in, and it gets you hot and heavy every time.

You two are a mangled mess of moans and groans and whimpers as he begins thrusting at a slow, steady pace. With every stroke of his hips your cunt sucks him in, bathing him in blood that's surely staining his pubes and subsequently transferring onto his groin. You're used to cleaning yourself up, but you wonder if he was prepared for the right level of mess.

You'd been trying not to look, still somewhat embroiled in your own anxieties, but Hiccup glances down at your coupling when he plants his head solidly between your breasts, and at the sight of your blood spread across his pelvis like a brand, he trembles with the effort of holding his orgasm off.

"Oh my gods," He grunts, fists clenching in the sheets as he tries not to cum, "It's so- it's everywhere."

"I told you!" You whine, legs clamping shut without thought, but he spares his clean hand to wrestle them apart again.

"It's so hot." He breathes, panting against your mouth between frantic, messy kisses, "It's- it's like... you can see it, you can see where I've touched you, you can see everything, it's- you're getting it all over me and I'm gonna cum, Y/N, I mean I'm really gonna cum-!"

He seems to realize that this is a losing battle. In his desperation he'd picked up speed between your thighs, and the intensity of his thrusts coupled with the hand that still rests between your legs, now fondling your clit, pinching and rubbing and pressing, means that you spiral towards your own climax just seconds behind his. The warm, gushing sensation of his seed pouring into you surely helps, and you're thrown over the edge with a sensation even more intense than your cramps.

It's mind-numbing, something you get lost in as you writhe against the bedsheets, your angled hips suck him in with the way you spread your thighs as far as possible, and he humps through his orgasm with an urgency that makes your own ten times better. You finish, not quite as one, but because of the other, and he plants his nose flush to your own as he takes large, raking breaths after being able to think again.

His lips press to your skin, nowhere targeted but tender all the same. It's not haphazard but it is lazy, something that showcases how exhausted he really is after having all of the blood in his body rush south.

You lean into them, savoring their sweetness as your mind wanders back to you.

"I'm sorry I got blood all over you," You mumble, glancing at the red sheets beside your head.

"Shut up." Hiccup groans, kissing you pointedly this time, right on the mouth, "I just came in, like, a minute."

"It was longer than a minute." You assure him, "Maybe- a minute-fifteen?"

"Alright," He nips at your nose, cracking a grin, "My point exactly. That was hot."

"That was helpful," You add, "I'm not cramping anymore."

"How often do you get them?" He asks, his nose brushing your own as he takes his weight off of you. He's thoroughly stained, thighs painted crimson from the way they'd collided with yours, hand now dried and caked in the first of the day's mess.

"Every few hours, I guess? The waves come and go." You wriggle in place, making yourself comfortable over the sheets again, "We should clean up before this dries."

"I'll get a washcloth!" Hiccup volunteers, placing his clean hand atop your stomach to hold you in place, "And- uh, just let me know when your cramps come back. I'm- we could do this again. If you wanted to. Because I- I definitely want to. If you want to."

"I want to," You admit, dropping your head back to the pillow as he rushes for the washbasin, "I'll tell Gothi I don't need any pain remedies this month. We can do this all week."