#and I think my computer might be toast

[witherby]

The long-awaited next part is here! It's not my best work 😔 be gentle in your criticisms.

Flight of Fancy, part 4

Masterlist is Here!

"Ah, sorry —" Clark apologizes over the comms line when day breaks, "I'm actually in Russia doing search and rescue after a natural disaster. Won't be back for hours. You could try calling Lantern?"

"He's off-world right now." Damian slumps into the chair in front of the bat computer and resists the urge to rub his temples. "Thank you anyway, Superman. You can go back to what you were doing."

"Alright, stay safe!" Clark says, then cuts the connection. Damian punches a few keys and the screens of the Batcomputer go dark. He leans back in his chair and rubs his face, irritated and exhausted. After dealing with the shit show that was Jason scolding him for "tonguing" a victim — which was not his fault! You kissed him, not the other way around! — and then bullying him into coughing up more money than necessary to take his hoodie to a dry cleaner, a headache bloomed and has been steadily worsening with time and sleep deprivation.

He's been up for almost twenty-four hours, now, and called most flight-capable contacts at his and his father's disposal to no avail. Nobody is available for your extraction, and Damian can't let you, an undocumented and uncategorized meta, go off by yourself lest you either get recaptured or end up committing a villainous act without supervision.

So you're stuck in the cave for a full day, until everyone comes together for patrol in the evening to clear the rogues out the metahuman outpost and get you safely moved out of Gotham.

Damian spins in the seat and looks at where you're balled up on the floor. Or, rather, he's looking at your wings, fully extended and wrapped around you like a cocoon. He watches the puddle of feathers gently and silently rising and falling with your dozing breaths after you refused a bed and curled up like this three hours ago.

Cute, he thinks, standing up and stepping quietly around your figure. He slips his fingers underneath the domino mask to rub the grit from his eyes, then messages Alfred requesting two breakfast trays be brought to the cave whenever he has the time. They're delivered half an hour later, the quiet rattling of the butler's cart rousing you again.

"Sorry to disturb you, dear," Alfred says, watching your head poke out and you blink groggily at the food. Damian takes the trays from him with a nod of thanks. "Might either of you require anything else whilst I'm here? I'm happy to check on your stitches."

You shake your wings out as you stand and then carefully tuck them against your back, glancing at your shoulder. The bandages are slightly stained gold, the wound disturbed from how hard you'd shoved Jason back earlier.

You look to Robin for guidance. He gives the bandage a similar once-over, then clicks his tongue.

"That might be wise. Agent A won't hurt you," he promises. "You can trust him."

Alfred bows and offers his hand for you to shake. You grasp it a touch too firmly and just hold it in place for a few seconds, but he just smiles and excuses himself to fetch some supplies from the med bay. While he's gone, Damian carries both trays to the table near the center of the room, placing them down and taking a seat.

"You can come eat," he says. You sit and look at your offerings — buttered wheat toast, two poached eggs, a couple strips of turkey bacon, and a glass of orange juice — with no change of expression. "Something wrong?"

"No," you say, "I just... can't eat this."

"If it's a matter of diet, we can find you something else —"

"I apologize," you gently interrupt, "I mean to say, I don't eat. I don't need to."

Damian pulls the notepad, crinkled from the earlier confrontation with Jason, out of his pocket and jots that down.

"How do you get energy, then?" He asks. You shrug.

"I rest. Other than that, I need nothing."

"That is a shame," Alfred says, returning with some fresh bandages and a small bottle of saline to keep the wound clean. You don't protest when he asks to remove the old gauze. "Should you find yourself curious to try a nibble, I hope it might please you. I am also available for anything else you might require — new clothes, perhaps."

You perk up at that. You dislike the gaping tear in your sleeve, so a replacement robe would be nice.

"Yes," you reply. "Please. What do you require in exchange?"

"Nothing but your measurements, so I can make sure it fits correctly."

You nod, acquiescing to whatever is needed. Alfred pulls out a tape measure and, with your consent, notes your size and approximately how much fabric space you'll need on your back to accommodate your wings. Damian finishes eating by then, so he retrieves the trays and leaves with another bow and a promise to be back in a couple of hours with new clothes.

"Robin," you say, when Damian gets up to go back to the computer. He looks at you intently. "I know I cannot leave this place, but is there somewhere...bigger that I can fly?"

He frowns, shaking his head. "The cave system is mostly long, not wide. It doesn't get much bigger than the part we're standing in."

Damian turns and points to his left, to a dark corridor just beyond the Batcomputer.

"If you don't break anything and keep away from the bats, you can fly around as long as you want. The pathways split off in different sections and levels, but they all lead back here to the center of the cave."

He looks at you again, hand on his hip.

"Does that suffice?"

Well. It's not open air where the breeze can rush through your wings and you can admire the sky overhead, but it's something and you are restless. It'll have to do.

Wordlessly you extend your wings, feathers shaking themselves out as you stretch the limbs, and you take off.

Damian sinks into the chair in front of the computer again, pressing a couple buttons to reawaken the screens. He glances at the roster of available allies and feels his headache intensify when there's no change. Still no help for now. Still stuck in the cave, watching over you and not getting any sleep.

He leans back and rubs his eyes under the mask again, lids drooping. Damian can't hear any wing flapping, which indicates you're likely long gone in the elaborate cave system. He can switch the cameras on the computer from key observation points around the city to the different levels of the cave itself, but the idea of subjecting his corneas to the harsh screens again is nearly unbearable.

You're likely going to be occupied for a while, and you already know not to leave the cave.

Damian could just...can just...

Just rest his eyes for five minutes.

[gallavichsreddie1128]

Older (Dean Winchester)

Description: Y/N has a crush on Dean but they have a 20 year age gap. How does Dean react when she finally tells him?

Warning: Smut, Age Gap

Word Count: 1,743

Y/N watched Dean as he washed Baby. His big muscular arms on display with the tight white shirt that had dirt on it. Baby was soapy and wet as Dean wiped her down. Y/N was trying not to drool as he went in circular motions cleaning the car. She was too into the scene in front of her; she didn’t notice Sam coming up to her side. “Stare any longer he might just notice your obvious crush on him.” He said to me, making her snap out of it. She turned towards him and rolled her eyes. He chuckled and handed her a beer. She took it from him and took a drink. “Ya think maybe he’s too old for you.” He said. Y/N pushed him and they both laughed. She sighed and looked at Dean again. He was pouring water on the soapy car. She sighed and got up  from her spot and walked into the house. She needed a cold shower to erase the dirty thoughts from her mind. 

It was days later that she’d be staring at the older man as he made breakfast. They had just come back from a hunt and Y/N was hungry so Dean offered to cook for her. Sam was getting some sleep but the other two were wide awake. “How do you like your eggs?” He asked her as he got them out of the fridge. “Over easy.” She said and he cracked the two eggs on the pan. She watched as he put the bread in the toaster. “You really didn’t have to make me anything.” She said as Dean put the eggs on the plate. “But I wanted to. You deserve it putting up with us.” She laughed as he set the eggs and toast in front of her. She thanked him. “Well I like putting up with you guys.” She said. He got his plate and sat across from her. “What, you got a crush on one of us?” He joked but she didn’t laugh. “Nah we’re probably too old for you anyway.” He said. She stared at him without saying anything. She shook her head and went back to eating her food. “Yeah totally.” She said. 

She woke up 7 hours later in bed and yawned. She remembered the cringey things Dean asked her this morning and she sighed. She thought for a second when he asked her that she was caught. Luckily Dean was oblivious.She got out of bed and stretched. She walked out of her room and noticed Dean at the table on the computer. “Where’s Sam?” She asked. “Grocery Shopping.” He said and nodded and sat down across from him. He looked up from the computer at her. “So back to early convo you probably like Jack don’t you?” He asked. She looked at him confused. “No, not the antichrist.” She laughed. “Do you even like anybody?” He asked. “Dean, can we not talk about this?” She asked not wanting to expose herself. “Yeah sure.” He said and went back to research. The silence now,awkward and unwanted. 

Why was Dean so curious about who she had feelings for or if she did? She honestly thought that Dean was too old for her but that’s how she liked it. They were eating dinner and she had a glass of wine. Dean sat across from her and Sam sat next to Dean. Jack and Cas sat next to her. Everyone was in a conversation except her. She never talked much while eating. She sometimes butted in with Jack and Cas but other than that kept quiet. Dean noticed her silence and wondered if it was about his question earlier. The last thing he wanted to do was make her uncomfortable. After dinner was over she helped him clean up.

She didn’t say anything to him so he figured he thought correct. “I’m sorry about the question earlier. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” He said. She looked at him. “You didn’t.” She said and poured herself some more wine. “If I did I would completely understand-” “Dean.” She interrupted him. He looked over at her and she was holding the wine and her upper body on the table a little. Her boobs are perfectly on display. “What are you-” She took a sip of wine and smirked. “I told myself I’d never fuck anyone old enough to be my dad.” She states. He stares at her in shock. She stood up and walked closer to him. “That was until I met you.” She said seductively. “Wait you like me?” He asked her confused but kinda turned on.

She nodded like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “And before you give me any of that age bullshit. I’m 22 i’m an adult.” He stared at her as her hands ran over his chest. “You have no idea what you do to me Dean.” She says and her hands lower themselves to the bottom of his shirt. She tugs on it and he looks down seeing what she was doing. “Y/N are you sure?” He asked her. She looked up at him with lustful eyes. “Are you sure Dean? Think you can handle me, old man?” He chuckled and picked her up and threw her over his shoulder.She laughed as he took her to his room. He threw her on the bed and smirked. “I’m 42 sweetheart not 72.” He said and took off his shirt revealing his amazing body. She was almost drooling at the sight. He crawled onto the bed and hovered over her.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and brought him down in a kiss. He moved his lips against hers as his hands traveled her body. He lifts her tank top up a bit and she pulls away from the kiss. She sits up and removes it showing her white bra. He looks down at her boobs and cups them. “Wow you’re so sexy.” He says and moves his hands to her back. He unclips the bra and she lets it fall freeing her boobs. He smirks at the sight and leans down to put one of her nipples in his mouth. She gasps his name and her hands go to his head as he licks and sucks. Her hands moved to his jeans and she cupped his growing erection. He moans against her nipple. “Dean take these off.” She breathes out. He pulls away from her nipple and gets up to remove his jeans. He pulls them down along with his boxers. She moves herself to the end of the bed and pulls him closer to her. “I didn’t know if I want you in my mouth or inside of me.” She says and he chuckles. Her eyes staring at his long hard cock. “Both would be ideal but right now I really need to be inside of you.” He tells her and pushes her back on the bed.

She smiles as he pulls down her panties. He gets back on her and kisses her again. She runs her hands up and down his muscular back. He pulls away and sighs into her mouth as he lines himself up with her entrance. He pushes in slowly and she gives a sharp gasp. “Are you okay?” He asked. She nods. He pushes in deeper and her noises fill his ear. She hadn’t had sex with many people and certainly not with a guy this big before. Once he was in her all the way he let her adjust to him. They stare at each other as she adjusts to him. He got lost in her eyes not believing that this was happening right now. She pulled him out of his thoughts when she thrusted up. She moaned as the pain was gone and she was full of pleasure. He started moving his hips and she let out little moans. Her eyes closed and her mouth opened. He didn’t let his eyes close as he watched her facial expressions. He groaned as her hips started matching his. She grabs his neck and moans his name. “You’re so fucking beautiful.” He breathes out and she opens her eyes to look at him. “You feel so good inside of me.” She whimpers. He leans down and starts kissing her neck. She gasped and pulled him closer if that was possible. “Dean, go faster.” She begged and he moved as fast as he could.His hips pounding into her hard and fast making the bed screech. His lips left marks on her neck. Neither of them cared at the moment.

He pulled out of her some and angled his hips. He slammed back in her and hit her g spot making her scream. He covered her mouth with his hand. “Gotta remember sweetheart we aren’t the only ones here.” He groans in her ear. She tried to keep her sounds to a minimum but with him pounding at her g spot that didn’t work. “Dean, you feel too good.” She mumbles in his hand. He nods. “Fuck I know baby. You feel amazing.” He moans. She felt herself getting closer and closer to the edge. He was twitching inside of her signaling that he was close too. “Baby I'm close.” She moaned and he groaned out a me too. She gasped out feeling him fill her up which triggered her orgasm. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head as her orgasm hit her. She bit her lip trying to hold back the loud noises that threatened to spill from her. Her hips moved up as she rode out her high. Dean watched her and almost became hard again. Her hips slowed and she opened her eyes seeing Dean already looking at her. “That was hot.” He smirked. She rolled her eyes. “Yeah well thanks to you.” She smirked back. He pulled out of her causing her to moan.

He got up and went to the bathroom and got a wet towel. He came back and cleaned her and him up. “Such a gentleman.” She teased. He laughed and threw the towel in the laundry bin. He collapsed next to her and yawned. “Tired old man?” He turned to look at her. “Baby I could go another 5 rounds.” He said. She turned towards him and smirked. “Prove it.” She said and he smirked. Sam couldn’t sleep that night but Dean and Y/N weren’t complaining.

[meadowfics]

with every post, your Kang series gets better!!!!

Imagine seo-ah and her first cuss word. She slips her juice or something and she goes “shit.”

Dae-ho acts like he just got shot in the chest or something. Reader’s fighting demons trying not to laugh😭😭😭😭😭

OMG YEAHH

seo-ah saying her first cuss word:

there was nothing out of the ordinary.

seo-ah is in the kitchen, sitting at the dining table, sipping on her juice box as you finish up some chores and dae-ho scrolls through his laptop at the kitchen island.

everything is peaceful.

that is… until the juice box betrayal.

seo-ah, not gripping it properly, accidentally squeezes the juice box too hard, and it squirts all over the table, her nice baby blue shirt, and the floor.

there’s a long pause.

in her tiny little voice, she sighs heavily and mutters, "shit."

dae-ho’s head snaps up so fast that you’re afraid he might get whiplash.

the ex-marine's mouth is slightly open, eyes wide with absolute shock as the word on his computer is now ignored.

you, on the other hand, have to turn away immediately to stop yourself from laughing.

because oh my goodness, hearing your baby girl say that in the most tired, fed-up tone was something straight out of a comedy skit.

you can’t let her see you laugh, because if she sees that you find it funny, she’ll say it even more.

dae-ho, still floored, looks between you and seo-ah like he just witnessed the most outrageous thing ever.

"seo-ah?? where did you hear that word?"

dae-ho asks, his voice still in shock.

big mistake.

seo-ah simply shrugs and says,

"from you and mommy."

dead silence.

you purse your lips, trying so hard to keep a straight face, while dae-ho just stares at you like you both have committed the worst parenting crime known to mankind.

"no, no, no, hold on,"

dae-ho says, immediately getting defensive.

"there is no way i—"

he thinks about it.

he thinks about all the times he’s muttered "shit" under his breath when he dropped something, stubbed his toe, or when byeol scared him by her random baby squeals.

now he remembers all the times you’ve said it too.

yeah. it definitely came from you guys.

"okay,"

you finally compose yourself, kneeling in front of seo-ah at the kitchen island.

"sweetheart, we’re not mad at you, but you can’t say that word, okay? it’s not a nice word."

seo-ah frowns, her little eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

"but you and daddy say it."

damn.

she got you there.

this is when dae-ho decides to parent up.

"you're right, baby," he sighs, rubbing his temples.

"mommy and i shouldn't say it either. so from now on, let's all try not to say bad words, okay?"

seo-ah nods, but she still looks unsure.

she’s thinking.

she asks,

"what should i say instead when i spill my juice?"

"hmm," you tap your chin,

"how about… 'oh no' or 'uh-oh'?"

seo-ah makes a face.

"that's boring."

dae-ho chuckles,

"okay, what about… ‘toast’?"

seo-ah giggles at that.

"toast?"

"yeah, like if something goes wrong, you just go, 'ah! toast!'"

dae-ho says dramatically, and it makes seo-ah burst into full-on laughter.

that’s it.

‘toast’ has officially replaced ‘shit.’

now your four-year-old is running around the house saying ‘toast’ every time something happens.

drops a toy?

"toast!"

forgets where she put her shoes?

"toast!"

loses a game against you or dae-ho?

"toast!"

it's adorable.

the best moment?

when dae-ho accidentally drops his phone on the floor later that night and mutters, "shit."

only for seo-ah to gasp dramatically and scold him,

"appa! you have to say ‘toast’!"

you laugh as dae-ho facepalms, fully realizing that this is the monster he created.

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s7 episode 17 “all things” thoughts

i’m SO EXCITED to see what this episode brings!!

here is what i know: gillian wrote it, it’s buddhist-y, and there might be MSR? and also from the description, i see that we will be learning more about a scully ex, and she has fascinatingly terrible taste in men, so i’m excited to see what this brings 

no delay. let’s get started.

i’m READY.

(post episode thoughts: your girl, in fact, was NOT ready.

woah... there is so much to analyze and contemplate here, and i will be doing so for years to come, which is obviously very exciting. the first thing that stuck out to me after finishing the episode was that scully was severely taken advantage of by this predatory guy, and then i made a post to see if i was the only one who thought that, which sparked some good discussion. since i talked about it there, i'll try not to go too into depth here.

but. god. the way that we live our days is how we live our lives. and the looking into the past to realize what could have been and how things worked out now... gestures vaguely. I CAN'T PUT IT INTO WORDS, I JUST FEEL A MILLION EMOTIONS. this episode is about MSR being soulmates. about friendship and love and devotion. and realizing what you have is a gift, and that what could have been is unknowable, and dwelling on it is a rejection of the divine. and it is about opening yourself up to new connections. and lots of other things, too, that make this post incredibly long)

let's go

scully is here!!! putting on a shirt! fixing her hair. “time passes in moments… moments which, rushing past, define the path of a life just as surely as they lead towards its end. how rarely do we stop to examine that path, to see the reasons why all things happen, to consider whether the path we take in life is our own making or simply one into which we drift with eyes closed”

damn. that’s heavy. she's tossing on a jacket.

“but what if we could stop, pause to take stock of each precious moment before it passes?”

why do i get the sense this episode is gonna alter my worldview forever…?

“might we then see the endless forks in the road that have shaped a life? and, seeing those choices, choose another path?”

there’s a guy in her bed. actually, i don’t think it’s her bed. there’s a guy in a bed. MULDER!!!!! SLEEPY!!!!

INTRO TIME

OH BITCH…… what are the implications of that monologue with that imagery…. like... they hooked up and she’s upset about it??? wishing they had done it before??? or wishing it didn’t happen???

FUUUUCK.

(author's note: luckily, i rewatched the beginning after i finished the episode, and the opening monologue comes off a lot more peaceful and content knowing what happens beforehand rather than the angst you associate with it having seen just that imagery and not knowing the context behind it. and for that, i raise the finest of toasts to excellent writing)

he was sound asleep, LMAOOOO. insomnia cured…. 

shortened intro, i clock thee once again. 

i’m so…. i don’t even know what i feel. a lot of things.

moby is playing. and slides are being played. this took place 63 hours before the opening incident, btw. it’s not clear if mulder is just listening to the radio and that is what was on, or if he went out of his way to buy a moby CD. please choose whichever interpretation pleases you more.

he was grooving!!! but she turned the music off to tell him that this person drowned. and pulls a salad out of a bag. she does not seem happy.

THIS GIRL DROWNED ON MARGARITA TRYING TO RECREATE THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT, LMAOOOO, oh that is just deeply unfortunate. scully does not want to investigate any further, even if mulder does!! 

but they have bigger fish to fry: he shows her a picture of computer generated crop circles, asking her, aren't they beautiful? and she hands him a sub. so basically AI made the crop circles.

he takes a bite of sub and tries explain the dramatic increase ��in size and complexity of circle design” throughout the years

also, he is in a sweater, not a suit. this is worth noting, as are all other small details i observe.

she just wants to put her dressing on her salad, lmaoooo, she does not give a fuck. so he throws in “and i’m not wearing any pants right now” which gets NO response, bahaha! she's got things on her mind!!! other than crop circles!!!

she seems upset.

OH SHE WROTE AND DIRECTED THIS??? PURRRRRRRR! i knew about the writing, but not about the directing.

STAB that salad while he rambles about crop circles. 

she claims she is listening. he wants to go to england TONIGHT, where more crop circles will appear as the computer program predicted, and he bought two tickets. she doesn’t CARE!! she wants to take a BATH, and she has PAPERWORK, and this has NOTHING to do with the FBI.

he is so taken aback. he says he’ll cancel her ticket.

that was harsh of her, BUT i’m not saying i wouldn’t do the same. he just ASSUMED she would want to go. and on a saturday!!! absolutely not!

(very interesting to once again see mulder barreling ahead in ahab-mode without consulting her opinion, assuming she will fall in line. oh, girl. there is so much to unpack there. it seems to me like a mixture of his self-centered devotion to the project and him being unable to invite her more formally into his life so he keeps relying on work as a crutch to bring them together)

“look, we’re always running. we’re always chasing the next big thing. why don’t you ever just stay still?” “i wouldn’t know what i’d be missing” 

GOD. allow me to rip my clothing in grief real quick. it's not like SHE knows what she would be missing either- she just thinks it is something she needs. she wants to drink wine with him and chat.

he leaves. she goes to the hospital. goes to pick up a folder. time slows down. 

she opens the folder and it’s…. a scan of some sort. from d. waterston. not the margarita girl. she is taken aback. she wants the autopsy results. the nurse apologizes. 

scully asks if the person on the x ray was dr. daniel waterston. and the nurse says yes. she is concerned. and walks to the room. where a doctor is saying there is nothing to worry about to a woman in there. scully sneaks around… and she goes in. 

pulls back the curtain with glassy eyes. approaches slowly. a man is on a breathing tube. a single tear rolls down his face. 

the doctor returns, and asks her to step in the hallway. he introduces himself to her- did she say her name was scully? dr. waterston’s mentioned you, he says. “i’m sorry, you must be mistaken” “no, you were a student of his, right?” she changes the subject 

(author's note: and the fact that he MENTIONED her to his DOCTOR just further creeps me tf out!!!!!! i should have known at this point what i was getting into!! i mean, i thought it was weird at the time, but i didn't know how weird it would get!!)

his condition is serious, but treatable. scully says he is remarkable, and goes home before the doctor pressures her further to stick around.

back at her apartment, she has a mac! it's blue and boxy. and she gets a phone call. “you came to see him” “who is this?” “margaret waterston” “maggie. is everything all right?” <- is she his wife?? “well that depends, doesn’t it?” “i’m sorry?”

she referred to her as “maggie”, so clearly they know each other… “whatever”, maggie says

“dr. kopeikan told my father you were here, and now he wants to see you” ohhh, she’s his daughter!!! “look, it’s your choice, but if you come, that doesn’t mean i accept you being in his life” <- DAMN.

another call is coming through. maggie hangs up. it’s mulder, and a movie is playing at his house- did he put a TV in front of his bed? still adjusting to him having a bed, tbh.

he wants her to go pick up some photos of more alleged crop circles after he heads out for his flight. but more time is slowing down. she says she’s out for the evening. asks him to leave the address on the machine, and she’ll try for him.

she goes back to the hospital. lots of people are in this room, surrounding a patient. “i’m sorry, i have the wrong room”, she says. it’s okay, one of them replies kindly. she walks out. there is gentle music playing.

now she goes to the right room with dr. waterston inside. maggie storms out when scully approaches. she walks in, quietly, before saying hi. “so i have to lock eyes with the devil for you to grace me with your presence?” 

he seems so much older than her. OH, and he calls her "dana". i don’t like that. i mean, i know that is probably what he called her when they knew each other, but it feels so wrong to the audience.

she says he’s lucky he made that diagnosis. “luck has nothing to do with it, dana. it’s what doctors do every day. you may have forgotten that” <- OHHHH, so rude??? just genuinely nasty.

she says “daniel…” in a very warning tone. then asks why he happened to be in washington. she goes to sit and he grabs her hand. she looks uncomfortable. 

“how’s the FBI?” “is that why you wanted to see me? to remind me once again what a bad choice i made?” <- ohhh, there is some tension here. 

he kisses her hand and then places it on his cheek. “believe me, my motivation is far more selfish than that” <- i don’t like this…

she says he scares her. “i scare you…. because i represent that which is ingrained, not only in your mind but in your heart- that which you secretly long for” <- that seems… very presumptuous. but she’s avoiding eye contact like she’s guilty of what he describes.

he never accepted her reason for leaving, saying it was an excuse. “i can’t believe the FBI is a passion. not like medicine” <- NO ONE ASKED YOU?

she gets up, saying she’s sorry she came. but he rubs a hand on her face. she just wanted to make sure he was okay. he says he knows how difficult it was to walk through that door- but she did, and that says something. which further sets off my creep alarm.

she leaves, perhaps thoroughly uncomfortable like i am. when her phone rings. it’s mulder. he has an address for the american taoist healing center to go and pick up the photos he mentioned earlier. “and she researches crop circles?” <- lmao

OH, it’s taoist, not buddhist! well, there can be overlap in these practices.

(the themes of the episode were, in fact, vaguely both❤️you could probably write a whole piece on this episode and the idea of surrendering to the dao, but that's a job for another day)

and then she nearly hits someone as a pedestrian walks right in front of her car. time slows once more as she presses on the brakes. the woman turns and smiles at her. scully is so confused.

what does sidewalk woman know…..?

mulder is calling out to see if she is still there. 

she pulls in at a big house and rings the doorbell. it was a woman who was at the hospital earlier that day! must be from the wrong room she walked into. they remember each other. scully says she is here on behalf of her partner to pick up some photos. her name is colleen azar, and she asks scully if she would like to come in.

scully says no- she needs some fresh air, which prompts colleen to worry. scully claims she's shaken from a near car accident. been there, sister.

but colleen says it isn't nothing- car accidents come from us not paying attention to something. scully wants to get out of there, saying she doesn’t have much time. 

“you think what we do is a little ridiculous, don’t you?” “uh, to be honest, i don’t know exactly what it is that you do” “but you’ve already formed a judgement about it” <- ohhhh… she clocked her tea immediately

“i really should be going”

“there is a greater intelligence in all things”, says colleen without looking up from her papers. “accidents- or near accidents- often remind us that we need to keep our mind open to the lesson it gives”

scully licks her lips. colleen hands her the paper and says to slow down. then shuts the door on her.

scully drops all of the papers, and time slows as she picks them up, including a crop circle of the heart chakra. then her phone rings again.

she’s back at the hospital with daniel. “ah, hurricane scully has arrived” “i was summoned” <- what does he want with her?! he wants someone to back up his treatment theory, because the doctor won't listen to him

scully points out that prednisone won’t complicate cardiac arrhythmia, not if it’s just a short burst, which waterston says “there” to, as if it proves his point. the doctor leaves.

maggie is furious. “you come off so rational, but maybe you know less than you think” ohhh… is this a “you’re not my REAL mom” sort of situation? she storms out. waterston says she’s been through some difficult times. scully asks how she found out. waterston says he did things he wasn’t proud of.

“things got bad at home after…” “bad how?” “i haven’t been completely honest with you. it was hard for me… when you walked away. shut down from my family. and needless to say, it was very difficult for barbara” "you divorced”

SCULLY WAS WITH A MARRIED MAN?!! WHAAAAT.

“only after an interminable period of discomfort for us both” “where did you go?” “here. washington” “almost ten years ago” “daniel… you didn’t move here for me?” “i didn’t mean for it to happen this way, of course” she's crying. “oh, god. you’ve come at such a strange time” “i know. you have a life” “i don’t know what i have”, she laughs

she points out that she would have never known he was here if it wasn’t for a mix up in the folder she came to retrieve

“i want everything i should want at this time of my life. maybe i want the life i didn’t choose” <- oh... ouch...

he reaches out to her… she presses his hand against hers. and they grasp each other. she cries against him, his fingers running through her hair. when his monitor starts to go off. he's flat-lining. she’s doing compressions. yelling for a nurse.

woah. that is major tea. scully was with a MARRIED PROFESSOR???? gag.

the nurse rushes in while she’s doing doctory stuff, shocking his chest- where is his doctor in this hospital?! i mean, i trust her to get the job done, but she’s off the clock! she’s freaking tf out. they get a pulse going. and she’s panicking. 

she goes back to the house from before- colleen's taoist place. someone else answers the door and asks if she wants to come in. scully says no, but this stranger only opens the door wider so she basically has to, lmao. she’s walking around. looking at the various contraptions. 

oh! colleen and this other lady smooch! okay! now that i see her in the light, i realize that colleen is very, very pretty.

scully says she’s very sorry for being rude the other day, and she doesn’t know what colleen does. she wanted to ask her about something she said. they sit down together.

she starts to open up, saying her friend is ill, and she thinks he may be dying of a more serious condition than anyone realizes. "friend"- interesting word choice there. colleen starts to explain layers of energy, consciousness, and aura. if you witness this, truths come out little to do with science and much to do with faith.

“what are you saying that i saw?” “pain. and where there’s pain, there’s a need for healing- physically, mentally, or spiritually” 

colleen says shame, guilt, and fear create imbalance, and it makes you forget who you are. she rests a hand on her knee and asks if she would like tea. i wonder what shame, guilt, and fear scully is holding onto. being with this man?

scully is fidgeting with one of her many gadgets when colleen asks if she has ever had moments when everything seems clear- when time seems to expand. scully says yes. “you may be more open to things than you think- it’s just a matter of what you do with it” <- well, that is an assessment on scully's character i would agree with.

they sip tea. colleen used to be a doctor. she thought she was happy, but she was cut off from the world and from herself, dying inside

OH. OUCH…. the scully parallels...

she was hiding her relationship with the woman scully saw earlier, then she was diagnosed with cancer, which got her attention. made her realize the field had no meaning for her, so she left it, and it helped her be happy. only when he she saw a healer who helped her release shame did her cancer go into remission.

everything happens for a reason, colleen says. 

wow. that is heavy. also love that gillian had the pen for one episode and said "this show needs some lesbians". and she was absolutely correct.

scully goes back to see daniel with some tulips, but maggie asks if she’s happy. “you can’t. he’s in a coma” “since when?” “since about two minutes after you supposedly saved his life” <- OHHHHH MY GOD? is she implying malpractice?

maggie blocks her from entering. “do you have any idea the hell you’ve created in our lives?” “maggie, to be honest, i left so that there wouldn’t be hell in your lives” “don’t try to be reasonable with me. i am so sick of being reasonable. you moved on, but we’ve had to live with what you left behind”

so maggie is mad at her for leaving her dad- even though he was cheating on her mom to be with her?? and she thinks her leaving broke him?? or is it more of a "this is all your fault for even getting with him in the first place", although, let's be clear, maggie does not seem that much younger than scully, she has to realize how creepy the whole thing is... maybe she blames her for "awakening" that part of her father, so to speak...

(author's note: this scene makes so much more sense in the original version of the episode we didn't get to see, which is a shame, because based on what was explained to me in that other post i mentioned, the original version sounded a lot more compelling, especially through the lens of scully grappling with her shame and guilt. oh well. what can you do?)

she looks so sad. more moby is playing as she leaves. damn. moby really was the soundtrack of the time, huh? i've lived my whole life moby-less until now.

she’s walking away slowly, flowers in hand. walking past a temple. incense or smoke or something blows by her. it’s an apothecary. she wanders into the woman from before who she almost hit!! she's running after her. following her into a building. 

inside there are lots of plants. and then a door. is this a temple? she pushes the door open. finds cushions and candles and a statue of the buddha. it is very beautiful.

she falls to her knees. closes her eyes. breathing in, rocking back and forth. flashbacks of her life play- her father, her mother, her sister. then, waterston laying down. his heart pumping. his lips moving- his eyes opening. she gasps and opens her eyes, which are filled with tears. the buddha stature stares down at her. 

did she…. manifest that? is he better now?

back at the hospital, someone is trying to clear blocked chakras from waterston. his doctor enters- “dr. scully, who do you think you are?” (um, how about she's the woman that did CPR on him while you were doing god knows what? don't blame his coma on her, where tf were you?)

she's with colleen. they’re doing an alternative approach to healing. the doctor tells her she is wasting her time- but she just wants to help. she says it so quietly and honestly. it seems like nothing else was working. “with all due respect, that is not for you to assess”, he says- it is for his medical team and his family.

maggie tells her to continue- if it isn’t hurting him, we should be open to it, she explains. the chakra man says there is nothing more to do- he is ready to move on, but he needs to do something before he does so. scully turns to maggie. more moby plays.

she goes home, getting in a bathrobe. then, she’s in a suit. sees herself in the hospital bed, dying. and is awoken by a phone call.

it’s maggie. she wants her to come to the hospital right away and immediate hangs up before she can ask any questions.

waterston is awake, asking if she thought he would give up so easy. she approaches him. tells him he was slipping away. he makes a snide comment about her “voodoo ritual”, but he doesn’t want to talk about that. they need to talk about what happens next for us. what does he mean by "for us"?

scully spoke at length with maggie. “it’s time… you took responsibility for the hurt you caused in your family”. she says it’s no accident he got sick.

“dana… it was only to be with you. you are all i live for” “maybe the reason you’re alive right now is to make up for that”

she says she’s not the same person, and she wouldn’t have known that if she hadn’t seen him again. 

maggie was listening to all of this. and scully leaves before she enters the room. 

god. what a graceful response from scully. i would have probably told him to choke and enjoy hell. but she does something to save his life, he's nasty, and then expects that after 10 years, they will somehow find a way to be together. her saying that he needs to make up for only living for her is such a careful word choice.

scully is standing outside of the hospital with her arms crossed. time is slow. she sees the woman she nearly hit again. and runs after her. but it’s mulder? he says he was looking for her. 

so that woman was some sort of divine apparition, maybe...

he says nothing happened in england- no crop circles. “maybe sometimes nothing happens for a reason, mulder” “come on, i’ll make you some tea” oh. my heart. it's melting again.

“i just find it hard to believe” “what part?” “the part where i go away for two days and your whole life changes” 

their feet are up on his table, the light from his fish tank shining on their faces

“mm, i didn’t say my whole life changed” “you speaking to god in a buddhist temple. god speaking back” “mm, and i didn’t say god spoke back. i said that i had some kind of a vision”

this is so open and vulnerable and unlike them. she must have told him everything about waterston.

she goes quiet. “what is it?”, he asks. and again, oh my god, it's so gentle.

“i once considered spending my whole life with this man. what i would have missed.” oh man... her saying this as she sits next to him on the couch.. hold on, hold on....

“i don’t think you can know. i mean, how many different lives would we be leading if we made different choices. we… we don’t know”

“what if there was only one choice… and all the other ones were wrong? and there were signs along the way to pay attention to?” man... hold on, hold on...

“mm. and all the… choices would then lead to this very moment. one wrong turn, and we wouldn’t be sitting here together" he's serious, but then he's almost laughing: "well, that says a lot. says a lot, a lot, a lot. i mean, that's probably more than we should be getting into at this late hour”

but when he turns to see what her reaction is, she's asleep on his shoulder. he brushes her hair back. wraps her up in a blanket. and gets up. we pan over the fish tank and see a little UFO toy in there. and is that a tiny buddha on his shelf?

wait. i have to rewatch that scene or i might die.

she just falls asleep, LMFAOOO. oh, poor sleepy thing, so tired from going through all of that over the past 2 days, and so prone to falling asleep easily even on the best of days. OHHH, and his smile falls when he realizes that. he just... looks at her. so lovingly.

SO WAIT. did she fall asleep on his couch and they didn’t actually hook up?! i have to go watch the beginning again, sorry, LMAOOOO

well, no. she is putting on her clothes in the beginning. and she fell asleep wearing them. so she definitely took them off. she’s watching him in his bed. 

so yes. hook up CONFIRMED.

which is something i thought i saw about this episode, but i wasn’t 100% sure, LMAOOO

okay. i don’t know what to think!!

crazy scully lore reveal!!!! so, it seems that she was dating her professor, who was quite frankly obsessed with her. at first, i thought it was a consensual thing- hence my shock that scully knew he had a wife- but like… him moving to DC ten years earlier??? saying that she was all he loved? and also, can you ethically date someone who controls if you pass or fail a class?? that just seems… super fucking predatory.

okay, i made an entirely separate post to address that point which i linked to at the very top, because if i didn’t, i would probably spend the whole rest of this analysis on it. and we have plenty to cover. but i agree with other's assessment that she probably thought it was an equal relationship at the time- she was young, but not that young, thinking she was ready for something as serious as an affair, not seeing that he was holding all the cards in his hand... yeah. a lot to be said there about the power dynamics and scully trying to prove herself by diving into a relationship with a much older, more established man. and he probably did that to a ton of students, too- made them feel special and mature. gosh. it is really very icky. like i said, her telling him to own up to his mistakes was a very measured response.

also, it is still a shitty thing to do to have an affair, don't get me wrong. i'm not trying to make scully seem innocent, but it is clear she was being manipulated and this wasn't an evenly balanced power dynamic- this was pretty damn predatory. since that is the direction they went with- her willingly dating a man who was married instead of her breaking it off when he learned he was- i feel that could have been more fleshed out. it makes far more sense in the original context. time constraints, sure, but still. the whole plot with maggie would have made a lot more sense had they gone in the original direction.

so. other than that.

GOD. scully driving back to colleen’s place because she wanted to apologize for being rude and because something she said was sticking with her... she is just so kind. and honest. and curious.

and opening up to a stranger because she was so desperate for answers, but also because they had this connection that she initially didn't want to pursue, preferring to stay in her old ways… sharing tea, admitting her biases, listening to her story. spinning her gadget in the kitchen. colleen coming out to her and to the world. god.

and regardless of how you want to characterize the exact nature of what was going on between her and waterston, he was creepy and rude and nasty to her, and it was hard for her to be around him, but she told him he needs to admit to the pain he caused his family. GOD. standing up to him like that… fuck. that’s just SUCH an enormous thing, and you could tell it dominated such a large part of her youth and her outlook on her life since. how she really thought that she made the wrong choice at first, how she rested her head on his chest, and how she realized no- i like the life i've built, i can't live in the past wondering what could have been when i have the here and now, and what a gift it is.

and she had a long talk with maggie… even though maggie was so furious with her and even blamed scully for him falling into a coma on top of breaking apart their family… she talked with her and they agreed that he did things wrong and he needed to apologize. 

scully is so kind.

she let mulder have it at the beginning of the episode, but if it was saturday and my partner bought me tickets to england without consulting me, i can’t say i would behave any better. and she has kept voicing her dissatisfaction, but he doesn’t know how to respond, so he simply dodges it. for years now this has been happening! of course nothing would get better between the conversation in the car in dreamland and that moment! 

but even if she snapped at him and even if he deserved it, and even if he drives her crazy so often, she found him in the form of a messenger. some divine intervention. how many other times has he been placed in her life by some sort of angel?

and then she told him everything, and he listened and he joked and she got more and more open, until she fell asleep and he tucked her in. so carefully. the way he was looking at her… god.

and then… they hooked up. i'm curious as to how that went. she falls asleep on his couch, and either wakes him up, or he was still awake, and then what? do they talk more? does she cut straight to the chase? was there a conversation beforehand about what it would mean for them moving forward, and what they mean to each other, and why do this now- because she realized what she had in front of her and it couldn't wait any longer? is this finally going to be the "staying still" she has wished for- just acknowledging how they feel rather than barreling ahead so they don't have to talk about it?

does that mean they’re canon and together for real? does that mean they’ll actually start, you know, acknowledging their feelings for each other? because lord knows that they haven’t been able to do that until now. will they have to hide it from all of their coworkers and skinner? is there going to be an awkward phase of feeling what this “thing” is out? going on a first real date? trying to call each other “honey” and laughing at how strange it sounds?

or is it “just” sex for now? would that be any better than the circle they have already been elaborately dancing in for the last 7 years? or will it make things MORE complicated? or is this a one time moment of weakness/clarity thing going on? what is it going to be like the next time they see each other?

so much to play with here.

but all of this ignores the real heart of the episode, which is scully opening herself up to the spiritual. we have seen her dives into catholicism before- she was, at some point, almost attending mass regularly- but she was open to change. to any sort of answers. the visual of her sitting before the buddha with her cross necklace on was super powerful. actually trying a chakra healing cleanse on waterston because colleen said it might help. the idea of the divine coming in many forms- how interesting to consider that through scully's eyes.

listening and learning to colleen and the universe out of a genuine curiosity- and some desperation thrown in there too, because doing things as she has done them hasn’t been working. exploring the non-scientific. looking into new belief systems. feeling rather than rationalizing. accepting the guilt and the pain and the shame of what she did and what could have been and working through it. having a vision. and all of those things are so incredibly personal, but she chooses to tell mulder about them despite knowing his reaction would be incredulous. and he is shocked, but he treats her gently. he can read between the lines.

and all of this happening because of a series of coincidences- the wrong folder, the near accident, dropping the papers. wisdom in all things. fuck.

god. it is just brilliant. there’s a lot i still have to sit with and parse out, and i’m in no rush to do it, because i have plenty of time to analyze. but it was really great. i am so happy for scully. i hope that things go well for them from now on, but i’m no fool. 

did moby have a stake in this episode? i gotta say, i had never heard a moby song before this show. all i know about him is that he’s bald, vegan, and claimed to date natalie portman and she was like, wtf is he talking about, that never happened. but now i have been given many moby songs in this show. i don’t really care for them, but i understand.

so, once again i am convinced that the actors of this show understand their characters far more than any of the writers do, and we should let them cook more often. alas! this happened 25 years ago and i wasn't there to stand outside the studio with signs and voice my opinions.

please tell me all of your thoughts on this episode. if this isn't the longest writeup i've ever made, it is very close. did you like it? what did you think about her ventures into the spiritual? i know it won't happen again, but i would love to see more of colleen. how do you think the getting together part went? please do share. and if you have fic of what happened next, that would be swell, too.

[lunadreamscaper]

something from 2021(?) i made in gmod on my old computer that i uncovered recently.

i wanted to make a VenturianTale P.I.E. and Left 4 Dead crossover for the sillies.

i think the concept is that Francis heard what their job was and was like "so that means vampires are real right?" and Ghost is annoyed bc someone's touching him lol

and here's an unfinished ver with Toast and Rochelle.

i say unfinished bc i had begun to add other characters (Spooker, Colon, Ellis and probably some other L4D/L4D2 characters) but ik i fucked up and accidentally deleted everything and gave up because i was sad, since i had so much work put into it.

rip Francis's elbow nsnfkskd

i have some similar gmod stuff posted on rhe Macaroni Cartel Amino that i might post here as well.

[euphreana]

I'm Still Here 5 - Damage Report

ao3 mirror masterpost

--

No one told them anything. Yelena didn't know what had happened, what facility she and Bob had been moved to while they'd slept, nor how long they'd be held there. Apparently, that information was either deemed classified or too triggering for them to hear.

Void must have taken over. Bob thought, pacing the floor of the small, padded room, being careful to not swing Yelena's arm in the cast. Void took over, and now they think we're a bomb ready to go off if I get too sad. He tugged at the hem of the scrubs they'd woken up wearing. What did he do to get us here? He doesn't have the Sentry powers.

He must have killed someone. And probably the wrong person. Yelena sighed. It's my fault. I knew this might happen, and I went ahead on the mission anyway.

No, it's my fault for not keeping it under control. I thought I was getting better...

You are getting better. I was feeling a lot of things, too. It was the combination that made us snap.

Bob leaned them against the two-way mirror lining one of the walls, wincing at the ache in Yelena's ribs.

Well one thing's for sure, keeping us here isn't making me any less sad.

Yelena almost laughed at that, but her thoughts were interrupted by a chiming noise as the meal slot in the wall opened and pushed out a tray of food.

At least they're giving us this. She thought and walked them to the small table the tray had slid onto. There was a cup of pills - painkillers or mood stabilizers, Yelena didn't know - toast, scrambled eggs, and juice. It must be morning. Yelena thought. Then she noticed something tucked under the tray; an envelope with both of their names on it.

Bob noticed too, and pulled it free.

They're letting us get mail? He wondered, glancing it over for the sender's name. There was none.

Yelena shrugged and tore it open. There were two letters; one for each of them.

Want to read yours first? Yelena offered. They'd tried reading multiple things at the same time before, but Yelena's eyes could only focus on one thing as a time.

Yours first. Bob decided.

Yelena opened it. It was an assortment of notes from the team, hand-written on the same piece of paper.

'Hey don't worry, we're working this out. - Ava'

'You're not in trouble. We're just being cautious. - Bucky'

'Enjoy the vacation. - John'

Whatever Alexei had written had been blacked out by censors.

Yelena smiled and made sure Bob had a look at it. Then they opened his letter. It was an actual letter , hand-written, from John.

Aaaand this is where I check out. Yelena announced and retreated back into her mind.

She could sense Bob's mood improve as he read the letter. Meanwhile, she tried to regain her memories of the event that had landed them here. If she just focused enough, or meditated enough, it had to be possible, right? The world around them was nearly silent, minus the faint buzz of electricity powering the lights and cameras in the ceiling. Perfect environment for some introspection.

It's not going to work. Bob said after a while, breaking her focus. I've tried that. My therapist said it's a trauma defense mechanism gone overboard, or something like that.

Yelena huffed in frustration.

Enjoy your letter?

Yelena felt her face smile.

Yeah. Bob said.

~ ~ ~

Neither Yelena nor Bob had kept track of how many mealtimes had passed before a tablet computer slid through the meal slot. No, it wasn't a tablet computer - Yelena didn't see any controls on it when she picked it up - it was more of a wireless computer monitor. There was a live video of Bucky on the screen.

"Hello?" Bucky's voice came from the speaker on the side of the tablet monitor.

"Hey." Yelena felt Bob smile at the first human interaction they'd had since their arrival.

Bucky gave them a weak smile in return. He looked tired - apparently the aftermath of whatever had happened wasn't letting him sleep well.

"Is Yelena there too?"

"I'm here." Yelena said as she went to the bed across the room and sat cross-legged on it, holding the tablet in her good hand. "Do we finally get to know what happened?"

"That's what this call's for." Bucky sat back in his chair. "I had to fight so much paperwork to be here. They wanted to make sure you were mentally stable before filling you in, if they did at all."

"We already guessed Void took over." Yelena said in a monotone voice. "Who did it kill?"

"... It isn't who Void killed. It's how Void killed." Bucky said, "The cleanup crew is suing for psychological trauma. And there was a lot to clean up."

There was a brief silence.

"Are Ava and the others... okay?" Bob asked.

Bucky paused.

"They will be." he said, "Walker's recovering, but Alexei has a punctured lung, and Ava got stabbed. They're only alive because they got out when they did."

Yelena knew she should feel horrified, but strangely enough, felt nothing. Must be the pills, she thought. She wasn't sensing much emotion from Bob either, just resignation.

"I didn't think it was even possible for Ava to get stabbed." Bob said.

"Neither did we."

"What about the hostage?" Yelena asked.

"Died with the hostiles." Bucky said, "We're still piecing together what happened, but we know Void was there."

Yelena sighed, ignoring the dull pain in her ribs.

"Did Void kill anyone else?"

"It tried. But we were able to keep it contained to the building until tactical support figured out how to knock it out."

"The Void didn't kill anyone the last time it launched an attack." Bob stated, "It wasn't violent. What changed?"

"We think it was a combination of the two of you that fueled it this time, not just a depressive spell, if you're referring to New York." Bucky paused. "You don't remember what happened when you stuck yourself to Yelena, do you?"

Bob blinked.

"It's... fuzzy..."

Bucky sighed.

"We should have documented that better." he mumbled. "That time, you... Void used Yelena's skills to take out everyone who attacked it - no collateral damage. It wasn't a slaughter like this time. It was focused. We think the Void acts based on what its host is feeling."

And we were feeling a lot of things when we snapped. Yelena thought.

Yeah... we were. Bob admitted. I was angry about feeling trapped, that probably triggered something.

"So we saved no one and almost killed our friends." Yelena said, "Of course they'd lock us up."

Bucky shook his head.

"We're trying to get you out on the fact that you weren't in active control of Void's actions. It might actually work, given that there was medical documentation on Bob's condition beforehand."

"Out, as in free?"

"Out as in anywhere else. We're pushing for being held in The Watchtower, under observation."

I'll take that. Bob said.

Same.

"Our other option..." Bucky resumed, then hesitated. "I'm sorry, Bob. I really am. The powers that be want Bob removed to see if that keeps the Void from resurfacing. If it works, Yelena would be free to rejoin The Avengers, after a watch period."

Yelena took a moment to process this proposal.

"Removed... how? What would happen to Bob?"

"We're still working that out. ... But he wouldn't be able to come back."

Bob was silent for a while.

"I'm fine with that." He finally said, "Better for one of us to get out than for both of us to rot here."

Bob, do you know what you're saying? Yelena asked, You'd die.

I had a good run. Bob responded quietly, I've outlived my stay. If-

"NO!" Yelena raised her voice enough to startle even herself. She focused on the screen. "We are not killing Bob just so I can get out of here. We'll figure something else out."

Bucky was silent for a moment, then nodded.

"We'll work on it on our end. In the meantime, want us to send you anything? Anything on paper, at least."

"I had some books I was reading." Bob said quickly. "They're in my old room. And there's one on Yelena's nightstand. I was almost done with that one."

"Sudoku." Yelena added. "Lots of sudoku."

Bucky nodded.

"I'll try to get them to you. Anything else?"

Nothing else came to mind.

"I'll see about getting a group call together, if you want to talk to anyone else." Bucky said, then reached for what Yelena assumed was the camera controls. "Over and out."

The video feed cut out. The room's meal slot opened again with a chime, and remained open. Yelena assumed they wanted the screen back.

Over and out, Bob echoed as Yelena slid the screen back through the slot, the cover closing after it.

Over and out, Yelena repeated.

[raddestrose]

OK, so after that, absolute downer of a goddamn episode

in this next one, I’m also gonna be reapplying my makeup that I cried off and painting my nails pink because that was actually heartbreaking and I still have a headache from crying. My eyes are still puffy and my nose is still stuffy.

what the hell Dr. Stone I thought we were chill

I JUST SPILLED SOME OF MY CHERRY COLA ON MY WHITE SHIRT

CANT A GIRL GET A WIN AROUND HERE

apparently, I can’t because as soon as I finished fixing my make up, I got on TikTok and the first thing I saw was about Senku and his father and not my eyes are watering again. I just redid my makeup you guys. I can’t do it for a third time today.

OK, I’m gonna watch the next episode now 

Let’s hope I don’t cry again

oh also the ending sequence for the show this specific one actually wrecked me because what the heck they’re really hammering in the fact that his dad is dead. I need a second a moment of peace I beg of you, Dr. Stone, please.

 did you take like a master class of naming things cause like kingdom of science and empire might don’t really just pop in your head like at the first moment so like bro, really honored that for a moment

Did his eyeliner get darker? It looks thicker than before.

this is the first time that Kinro being a stick in the mud actually helped them out

oh hell, that’s a lot of guys

SAIKI??!!

what are you doing out in the Stone world man shouldn’t you be fighting dark reunion?

SUIKA GET YOUR WATERMELON NOW BROS GOTTA SEE

is that pig Latin?

Did I hear that right like seriously not even like comment commentating genuine question did I hear that right?

welp it’s time to run

OH SHIT KINRO

this is actually an awful position to put stone deku in you guys are asking him to kill his brother do you know how cruel that is?

Fuck them kids that’s my brother. I’m saving his ass.

oh my God, he’s doing it

I think you just set him off after no he’s crying. Oh shoot I think he’s gonna rage. I feel so bad for him. oh this is so sad. 

I need Senku and five minute crafts to 1v1 right now

OK, but like for real this is the second time he’s speaking pig Latin right that’s the right term for it. I am so genuinely lost and have to make sure I’m not tweaking the hell out.

Wait, did they just make a cannon

OH HE MADE A FAKE GUN

all right, I see you man that’s slick

 I can’t believe it actually worked actually wait I can. It’s Senku. Of course it’s gonna work 

I like how my phone and talk to text are both getting more and more used to me saying Senku like every two sentences that it’s getting closer and closer to spelling his name correctly each time

Senku I beg of you please get this guy glasses your tank should be able to see. Unless you want to TPK, He’s gotta have 2020 vision.

dude, you were stabbed in the gut that is NOT a minor injury

oh great now we got another number nerd who always says numbers and has catchphrases with numbers in it

also total sidetrack I really wish I was filming all this so you guys could see me actually like cry my eyes out and then like 15 minutes later see me yell at my computer again over hearing the term 180°

Oh Hyoga, buddy there is no way in hell. Actually no one could help that you guys would be able to beat a fight. He’s got science and plot armor and the power of friendship along with fake fire arms on his side you’re toast, cooked even 

Oh Kinro you little cutie patootie with your new shades just don’t die now

Oh he’s posin and I heard that sound effect,he is feeling it 

I keep forgetting, how jacked yoked and absolutely buff that old guy is it’s a jump scare every time he takes all of his clothes off for some reason

I know for like plot and timing reasons it storms like days later, but I really think it would be super funny. If it doesn’t rain for like another few months and they’re just waiting and waiting and waiting.

Oh my, Senku you’re so good at playing with damsel in distress I actually got worried for a second

THEY MADE KATANAS THAT IS SICK

HELL YEAH fight them with swords swords are the best. Oh, you do not know what’s coming for you you morons

yeah, buddy seeing clearly is like the usual you should be seeing clearly

THIS IS THE POWER OF GLASSES

It makes me laugh, even harder, knowing that his character means that with his full chest

I don’t know how but like that line that Ginro how was the most Deku I have ever heard Deku Deku

I really should put commas in these sentences but leaving them out makes for great comic value so best of luck reading

HOLD THE ACTUAL FUCK UP sorry for swearing right then, but what in the actual God-given hell is that man’s hair? 

…….

Um I’m actually like at a loss for words. I can’t string together and insult harsh enough to deal with this haircut. I…. you would’ve thought that somebody would’ve pulled him aside and said not to go out like Pippi Longstocking his hair looks so bad that that has to be on purpose. No, you can’t even make something look that bad on purpose that had to of been like some kind of natural disaster caused that hairstyle. If it was that hairstyle if I was forced to have that hairstyle, I would just go bald he’s already like a third of the way there just tear off the Band-Aid dude this is hurting me more than going fully bald.

 I like how the craftsman has like no idea what the heck Senku says like more than half the time, but he is like all for it

I’d turn tail and run man, staying would just be more embarrassing

magma lock the fuck in

This is why you suck

OK Saiki we get it. You’re cool. There’s no need to hold that pose for like 15 seconds.

see he doesn’t pay attention to plans. He doesn’t listen. This is why I stay hating.

is that why their shoes look so dumb so they have a little platform to bounce off of

girly if you’re gonna do split flips like that, I beg of you to have shorts on under that dress you’re gonna catch a case

how could he predicted that move? I wouldn’t even of thought of that 

neither did I Ginro

Oh Gen you sneaky little rat. Good on you man ,actually that’s clever.

The squeals and squeaks this guy makes will never fail to make me absolute cackle

I would never betray your trust😢😧

Well, damn😒

what the fuck is that face buddy? I think you need some moisturizer. I don’t think your face should be making that face that does not look natural. Oh my gosh.

Flower Power Gen

you flower language bitch, DAMN I wish I was that cool

I for my sake I’m going to make a very strong point to not watch the end credit sequence because I will cry again. I’ve already talked about that on this post never mind.

[anxiousapplepie]

Alright, today's question is one you're absolutely free to keep your lip zipped about if it delves into spoiler territory. Which it mostly likely will. Actually, it's a lot of questions because I might as well get a bunch of them out before I forget I have them. Again. Time to begin rapid-fire and I am sorry in advance.

Does the world of Special Delivery pre-apocalypse mostly resembling modern society or that with differences due to gods being a thing? Were they perhaps a touch ahead with technology, hence things like Jemima? Or did that particular advancement only happen, almost paradoxically, after the apocalypse? Did the fallen society know about the gods and ghosts and stuff, (And I mean they actually knew about it for certain, not just theorizing), or did it just all sort of became rapidly apparent as the world fell to shit back then? (I am also curious how exactly civilization is looking now, you could do a comical, as in funny, 'before and after' thing but I know that's just gonna be more pressure on you so don't worry about it too much.)

And also, who exactly built the robot dogs? I presume there's more than just Jemima. Just like how there's probably other postman besides Patrick, but anyway. Who figured out how to create a proper consciousness / personality for the machines? Is it from one source or multiple?

Only answer what you feel up for answering, and take as long as you need for this. My brain apparently decided to blurt all this out so it'll keep you thinking for quite a bit. So, uhh... have fun? I hope?

Ah! asking the big questions, huh? Lemme see what I can reasonably answer at this current time and place >:3

When I first came up with the SD idea way back in 2020, I was aiming for an Industrial Revolution + Steampunk vibe. But now in the year 2025 I'm more willing to be flexible with the aesthetic of the story! ... and by that, I mean it's developed into something I don't know how to describe besides "a postwar nuclear-fantasy nightmare with heavy inspiration from the Aussie outback" There was good technology before the End of the world, but not "sentient robot" good. Just regular chemical weapons and computers from the early 2000s type of good :3

As for the question about the gods and all things supernatural: YES! Humanity was aware the gods were a thing. Sure, there are always phases of skeptical and/or atheistic generations asking if the gods truly exist or care. But it's pretty hard to ignore giant monsters getting kicked in the teeth by one of the gods in an impossible-to-miss battle of the ages, so humanity knew the gods were more than a "theory" or an explanation for things that happened in life. Most of the time.

However, it doesn't matter if you believe in the gods or not after The End, because most of them are now dead. No point worshiping something that isn't alive anymore, right?

As for the one responsible for making Jemima and the other robo dogs that serve the posties, you can blame this guy! XD Long story short, Louie is an (ex) mad scientist who took one look at the post office and said to nobody in particular "you know what this place needs? better security and robot dogs who can kill a crocodile and serve you hot toast!" and then spent the next decade upgrading everything he could get his hands on. Amongst other things!

The method of giving robots sentience and personalities is still something that is being researched, but so far the common theory is "you get what you give". Which is to say, if you start treating a piece of technology like it's a person, pretty soon it starts acting like a person. Other people think ghosts or spirits are just haunting machines. Which might be true in some cases, but not all of them. >:3 Lots of people have stepped forward to claim the credit of 'discovering' robot sentience first, nothing has been settled yet.

ANYWAY! :D This was fun! I had fun answering these questions, and was deeply aggrieved I couldn't do it sooner because flu shots messed me up XD but seriously, your thoughts are much appreciated and thank you for letting me ramble! <3

[princeloww]

broadchurch fic recs !!

(Except I'm very picky and don't read Alec/Ellie fics)

Whumpuary Day 1: Secrets Revealed by AJWrites1998 (@bro-ken-spoon)

Summary: Ellie Miller was having the worst day of her life even before she got the text message. Takes place during season two, episode six.

Details Ellie's reaction to Alec getting his surgery (and telling her about it over text). Packed full of brilliant lines that are both clean and beautifully sensitive all at the same time. Spot-on characterisation, and quite a quick read. I personally really loved this one, and (as you'll probably notice) absolutely love this writer and their writing style.

All I Want For Christmas by AJWrites1998

Summary: The edges of his mouth turn down slightly, but he tries to play it off as thinking about whatever he’s managed to pull up on his computer. He sighs.

“Can’t,” he says, “Daisy’s visiting her mother for Christmas. She won’t be back till next week.”

Ah, so that’s what it was, then. He’s missing Daisy.

“Well, I guess if I can’t have Daisy, I’ll accept just you,” she says, then takes a sip of her own tea. She watches for his reaction over the top of the mug. He winces, but she didn’t exactly leave a lot of room to say no.

---

Daisy's out of town for Christmas. Alec has some feelings on the matter. Ellie's there to help out.

Alec Hardy sick fic!!!! This is a Christmas themed one, but it definitely doesn't need to be Christmas time for it to be enjoyed. Ellie and Alec are written incredibly well - their interactions are so brimming with familiarity that you get the sense that these two characters really know each other, yet in such a spectacularly Hardy-Miller way. Very slice-of-lifey and quite low stakes. Very fun to read, and full of really sweet moments (like Alec helping Ellie put Christmas presents together).

A Hard Day's Night by AJWrites1998

Summary: “Well, she was right, even if you are feeling poorly now. We’ll get you some toast later on, when you’re feeling up to it again.” She feels the need to reinforce this, otherwise she fears he’ll take away the wrong lesson. Unfortunately, at the mention of food, he pales again. “No. No need. I’m never eating anything ever again.” he says, his face lined with pain. ------------ Alec Hardy doesn't usually eat anything at all. It's just his luck that the one time he does, it's gone bad. It's up to Ellie Miller to look after him.

Oh my god, I think this is my favourite Broadchurch fic ever. I think it deserves so much attention - it's amazingly written and honestly quite beautiful. It's witty, clever, and perfectly captures strong, familiar and platonic intimacy. This is another Alec sick fic where Ellie takes care of him. Their dynamic is really well written, and extremely accurate. The author clearly has a great understanding of the characters, and it really translates in this - and all of their - piece(s). Without giving too much away, I've got to say the hair scene is absolutely amazing. If you enjoy thinking of them in a queer platonic kind of way, this might be good for that? It's very intimate, in a way that is refreshingly platonic.

Over the Sea to Skye by lestatslestits (@lestatslestits)

Summary: five times Alec Hardy sang to his daughter while she was sick, and one time she sang to him instead.

Oops, it's another sick fic. I only read this one recently, but it is absolutely beautiful. The father-daughter relationship between Daisy and Alec is so compelling and sensitive, and every character is incredibly well written and characterised. I really, really recommend this one.

On this part, I'm going to go ahead and recommend lestatslestits' entire selection of Broadchurch fics. I've only read this one, because I genuinely literally just discovered it while writing this post, but I'm entirely confident that they are all amazing. I'm going to devour them as soon as I have a chance, and then probably devour their TOTA fics too. Amazing writer, please go check them out.

Mail Slot by capn_schmazz (whose tumblr I don't know)

Summary: Ellie thought about Alec in those first weeks of knowing him. Seeing if her memories were different now with this new information. They weren't. Not really. She wouldn't have ever guessed it if he hadn't trusted her enough to tell her, so she stopped thinking about those weeks and took a sip of tea in the present.

I am INSANE about this fic. It's absolutely perfect, yet subtle and meaningful and really impactful. Has suicide themes, as Alec tells Ellie about a past suicide attempt. It's really focused on the relationship between Ellie and Alec, as they have a late night/early morning conversation about first a case and then the past. Also one of my absolute favourites. The dynamic is so well done, and the characters are so well portrayed, that I had a tiny little David Tennant and Olivia Colman in my head as I read it. Genuinely, in my opinion, brilliant piece of writing.

I really really recommend all of these fics!! Please go check them out.

[aria-bun]

I can't stop thinking 'bout your face

Sam makes Colin a drink he's never made before Read now on ao3!

LAVENDER LIMONCELLO SPRITZA shot of Limoncello with lavender syrup, lemon juice, and soda water.

—————————————————

"He what?" Sam raised his eyebrows at Colin from across the bar, pausing from wiping the counter.

Colin laughed slightly. "Aye. Right onto the floor. He had to get six stitches. If you ask 'im, he'll say it's from a mosh pit." he paused. "Technically not wrong."

"Jesus…" he shook his head, humored. "And this is a regular occurrence?"

"Aye," he nodded, finishing his drink and setting the glass down on the bar. "Fuckin' eejit didn't learn his lesson the first time. Gotta love the lad though."

"He's what, eighteen?"

Colin nodded. "Right out of school. Someone's gotta talk sense into 'im eventually, but none of us are rushin' to draw straws for it."

Sam laughed. "I can tell." he glanced at Colin's glass. "You want another?"

"Aye, sure." he paused. "Surprise me this time."

He raised his eyebrows, picking up the glass. "Oh?"

He nodded. "Aye."

"Right." he put the glass in the sink behind the bar. "First off, any allergies or specific preferences I should know about?"

"Nah," Colin shook his head. "'m not too picky."

Sam shrugged. "Alright then."

He started with limoncello, an Italian lemon liquer Alice had picked up for the spring season, pouring a shot of it into the ice-filled shaker. Sam glanced at the syrups that came in from the new delivery, still sitting on the counter, before deciding to pick the lavender one and adding it with some lemon juice. He put the lid on and shook it, glancing back at Colin, who was checking something on his phone.

He pulled out a new cup, putting a few ice cubes in it before filling it with the drink and adding a slice of lemon on the rim as garnish.

"Here you go," Sam said, catching Colin's attention after setting the drink down on the other side of the bar."Thanks," he stuffed his phone back into his pocket before picking up the glass. "What is it?"

"A limoncello lavender spritz. I remember seeing it a few weeks ago and thought it'd be interesting to try out."

"Ah, so I'm your guinea pig."

Sam's eyes widened slightly "Ah- no no no, I-"

Colin laughed. "Relax, Sam. I'm joking."

He did relax slightly. "Right."

He sipped the drink, glancing at the other side of the bar where Alice was talking to one of the other members of Tiberius.

"So…what would you say if I told you this was alarmingly similar to what I usually order when I'm by myself."

Sam raised an eyebrow, getting a towel to wipe off the counter. "Honestly? I'd just say you were being nice."

" I'm never nice just for the sake of it," he shrugged, setting it back down. "Can't say I've had it with lavender, though. 's good."

"Well, I'm glad you like it," he smiled.

"Cheers." Colin did a slight air-toast before taking another sip, pulling his wallet out with his other hand. "Think 'm gonna close my tab."

"Alright, hold on." Sam turned his attention to the computer, clicking a few things before the receipt printed. He ripped it off and passed it over with a pen. Colin gave it a once-over before signing it and handing it back with his card.

He charged the card before passing it back to Colin, who tucked it back into his wallet.

Sam glanced at the clock on the wall, squinting to read the time.

1:05 AM

He had gotten used to staying up this late for tending the bar a while ago, but it still threw him off seeing how late it was a year later.

"So… What do you plan on doing tomorrow?" Sam asked him. "The pub's doing karaoke, so you have the night off."

Colin shrugged. "Not sure. Might just pop by for a while, see Alice embarrass herself."

"You gonna sing?"

He shook his head. "Oh hell no. Not really my scene," he then arched an eyebrow at Sam, "Are you?"

Sam shook his head as well. "I prefer to stay in the audience."

"That's fair."

"Hey Sam!" he turned his head, seeing Alice waving at him from the other side of the bar, trying to catch his attention.

"Yeah?"

"D'ya know if the syrup shipment came with more blood orange?"

He paused, thinking back to the receipt he had signed and filed away. "I think they were out when we put the order, so no."

"Damn, I was gonna make some blood orange margaritas to close out the night." she scrunched her nose slightly. "What d'you want?"

"Just a gin and tonic, please." Sam asked her.

"Boo, boring!"

He rolled his eyes lightheartedly. "Surprise me, then."

A mischievous grin crossed Alice's face, and that was the moment he immediately regretted his choice of words. "Alright then, Sammy."

He could hear Colin snort lightly, covering the sound with a cough.

A moment later, Alice slid him an orange-colored shot from the other side of the bar. He stopped it with his hand, the drink almost spilling from the impact. Sam blew out a breath before downing it without a second thought.

A big mistake.

He almost doubled over, the intense heat of cinnamon burning his throat. "Jesus-" he coughed, wheezing slightly.

"Only on Fridays, Sammy. Just Alice on any other day." he could hear the smile in her voice, as well as an amused laugh from Colin.

He straightened a moment later, recovering from the nasty burn. "Just straight fireball? Not even a chaser?" he coughed again.

"Gotta toughen up, Sam. At least I didn't do Everclear."

[changingplumbob]

Pancakes Household: Chapter 9, Part 5

Eliza and Bob consider adoption.

Nicknames: Bob = Sleek, Eliza = Jumble

With the kids in bed Eliza set about doing a few chores that needed her attention. Bob was always happy to let puddles dry themselves but Eliza liked a clean floor, I don’t know what her excuse for mopping the puddle outside was… After she settled in to relax and cross stitch, choosing to try a fox pattern. She settles to try talking to Bob about adoption, he might like the idea.

Eliza: How was your shift

Bob: Busy but fun. That critic didn’t show up again thank goodness, I swear he’s a plague on the restaurant

Eliza: Sleek, I was talking to Kayleigh about wanting a third kid, because I do want one, and she suggested adoption

Bob: Adoption? I thought we were going to try properly once Fergus is a teen

Eliza: I know that’s what we agreed to but- would you consider us adopting a little girl instead of me having another pregnancy

Bob: Of course! I love you Jumble. Whether our kids come from us or not, they’re going to be our kids

Eliza: *sighs* oh thank goodness because I did not want to go through labour again

Bob: *laughs* Fergus did take his sweet time coming into the world, longest 48 hours of my life

Eliza: I know the waitlists can be long but... you could talk to Aaron? As a lawyer maybe he could put in a good word somewhere

Bob: I’m sure he would. Besides, giving birth has already done wonderful things to your body

Eliza: *blushes* I’m pretty sure it’s your food that’s done it but... care for an inspection

Bob: Don’t have to ask me twice Mrs critic

Eliza: We should let the kids know what we’re doing

Bob: And you think we can request a girl

Eliza: Jumble, who does the cleaning? I know all about your stash of pink infant clothes you’ve been making since we got married. Just try and get them to stop me making that money well spent

Bob: I mean I know they might grow up to not be a girl but while they’re small and can’t complain I do want to wrap them in pink

Eliza: *chuckles* You’re such a softie

Bob: Oh here they are, morning stack!

Fergus: Stack?

Bob: Because we’re a group of Pancakes

Onyx: I will not be including that in a comedy set

Eliza: Listen, your dad and I have been talking and… we’re going to try an adopt an infant. How would you two feel about that

Onyx: Would I get babysitting money

Fergus: Can we do adorable photoshoots

Bob: Well one of us would try be home with her while she’s an infant but maybe once she’s a toddler you can help out

Fergus: It’s going to be a girl?

Eliza: We hope so but it will depend on who out there needs a home

Their parents leave and Onyx and Fergus continue to chat for a while. Overall, they think a little sister could be cute, and photography loving Fergus wants to take a bazillion pictures already.

Onyx: Maybe having a cute baby around will make it easier to convince mother to buy me a horse

Eliza: I heard that! We are thinking on it dear, just keep walking Ginger for now

In the kitchen Bob decides to make some French toast to keep, he loves having leftovers in the fridge. Down beside him Ginger is being assistant chef, barking her approval now and then and finishing off a piece Bob deemed too well cooked to go in the pile.

Eliza: So you can fit us in this morning? Yes my husband’s shift doesn’t start until the afternoon so we’d be happy to come in for the interview. Do we need to bring anything

Onyx: Hey dad

Bob: Yes?

Onyx: I just wanted to say, and this isn’t about getting a horse I promise

Bob: Okay

Onyx: I hope you and mother can sort it out. You’re always kind to me and I think any kid would benefit from being raised by the two of you

Bob: Thanks kid, come here *hugs*

School time! Can I finally get a shot of the lot in the sun? Nope. Too cloudy *sighs*. Carson is spending the time before class on the computers resting his asthma while Artemisia is making use of the workout equipment upstairs. To my complete and utter shock the principal is actually using his office!

Onyx feels like studying for the exams, can’t let their grades slip if they want to earn a horse. They’ve just finished off the chapter when a girl enters the room looking very confused.

Onyx: Hi can I help

Scarlett: Classes haven’t started already have they

Onyx: Nope, I just find that math class is usually a quieter place than the library before school. Are you lost?

The girl furrows her brow and sits on the desk beside them.

Scarlett: A little. It’s my first day

Onyx: Happy belated birthday

Scarlett: *laughs* Thanks

Onyx: My younger brother is starting this week, he might be in your class

Scarlett: I’ll look out for him. What’s his name

Onyx: Fergus

Scarlett: Got it. Do you know where I go to get to art class

Onyx: Sure do. So out the door if you head towards the lockers, turn left before the stairs then take the next left and you’ll be in the art corridor

The bell rings and Scarlett thanks Onyx before dashing out of the room as students begin to drift in.

Previous ... Next

[chubbobablast]

Springtime Soon Will Come

There's no food left on the ship, and Emmet can't wait any longer.

Rating: Explicit Archive Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major Character Death Category: Gen Fandom: 60 Parsecs! (Video Game) Characters: Emmet Ellis, April Angelle, Deedee Dawkins Additional Tags: Cannibalism, Starvation, Insanity, Blood and Gore, Gore, Graphic Description, POV Second Person, narrator is the computer, I just thought it'd be fun lol, and I STILL have NO clue how to tag fics on ao3. wonderful, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, dead crewmate do not eat. CAPTAIN I SAID DO NOT E, Improper Use of Human Flesh, Narrator A.S.T.R.O. Language: English

Read it on Ao3!

45.

That’s how many days it has been since you witnessed your home planet become radioactive toast. Why do you seem startled? Don’t think I didn’t hear mumbling to yourself about how long it’s been. It hasn’t been terribly long; approximately a month and two weeks. And yet, you’ve lost your mind, and your untamed hair continues to crawl towards your neck.

You’re immaculately fast as you scrape 45 tally marks into the once untouched wall behind you. You know, Captain, that is not necessary. I am keeping track of it for you. It is highly unlikely that the days passed will slip from my database, which cannot be said for your unstable mind. If I could feel such sensations, I would say it pains me to tell you that you don’t seem like you’re getting any better.

Your friend, April, seems to be in agreement with me, even if she won’t say it herself. She keeps her head low, playing around with whatever mechanical equipment you allow her to get her hands on. Which is mostly everything, considering you’re so mentally distant we might as well say you’ve thrown yourself out the airlock. But, sir, you shouldn’t complain, as everything seems to be in tip-top shape!

Oh, I just remembered; we still have no status report from Deedee. A day longer and we might as well consider her gone. Lost. One with the stars. Wait. That isn’t consoling you, is it? Oops. My bad. Perhaps I shouldn’t have said that. Surely, she will be back tomorrow. Don’t you think so, Captain?

You push yourself into the side of your chair, clutching your chest and stomach, and cramming yourself into the smallest version of yourself you can be. To you, the silence may be unbearable, but your heart is pounding so roughly that it’s overloading my sensors. Or, maybe… you can hear it, too?

A yowl erupts from your stomach for what seems to be the sixty-millionth time today; I wouldn’t be surprised if it could be heard from a whole galaxy away. Neither of us remember when you have last eaten, but it’s been long enough for at least one of us to notice you’re teetering on the edge of life and death. For every time you squeeze your eyes shut so tightly that they begin to burn, for every time you dissociate and disconnect yourself from the harshness of reality, it could be the last. The last time there’s any sort of hope that you’ll make it.

The rush of blood in your ears, the incessant beat of your heart, the echo of hunger bouncing off the walls in your rapidly shrinking stomach… All of these uncomfortable sensory problems have reached your brain with their evil hands, kneading it into something that makes you a husk of what you once were. A shiver shoots through your spine, and your eyes crack wide open as if they were broken geodes. Shakily, a few heavy breaths pass through you. I cannot tell if this was helpful or quite the opposite.

April notices your movement. “Captain?” Suspicious, she asks, “You alright…?”

You refuse to look at her. Your lip quivers and your body twitches. Nonsensically, you begin mumbling something about the ‘perfections and imperfections of the universe’ and the ‘cycle of life.’ I do not understand how you got here, Captain.

April doesn’t seem to pick up what you're saying, only sending a curious look in your direction. I would be doing the same if I were in her position, but alas. I lack the eyes. I believe she is worried about you, sir. As are the rest of us. We only want you to feel better. Yes, yes, I know you will feel better after you've eaten something, but Deedee will be back soon enough to cure your ailments. Could you try distracting yourself? With or without my assistance? There's plenty of equipment in the shuttle!

Have you gone through the crafting module today? Has the daily checklist been gone through? How long has it been since you last thought about soup? What about now? Have you checked in with April? Are you finished worrying about your approaching demise?

…Aha. I don't appear to be much help right now. Especially considering you're scratching at your suit as if you were trying to tear it open while repeating “it's inside me” over and over again. What's inside you? I'm not detecting anything unusual.

“What?” Your crewmate rasps while raising a brow, almost sounding aggressive. She is concerned about you, Captain. You could at least try to reassure her, you know, despite my disbelief in your ability to be convincing.

“They’re here,” you whisper, “they’re after us. They’re gonna take us all out. If we don’t do something, we’re doomed…”

April doesn’t have a clue what you’re talking about. I don’t have a clue what you’re talking about. Nothing’s been detected outside the shuttle, nor has Deedee returned from her expedition. In fact, there’s barely any life outside whatsoever– just nothing. Nothing, nothing, and nothing. This isn’t even one of the planets that was affected by… the blasts. You know the ones. At least, not any that I’m aware of.

“Every time you open your mouth, you make less sense,” she snips back, returning her tired eyes to her work.

This is what made you avert your gaze in her direction for the first time today. You continue attempting to knead your itchy skin beneath your suit, feeling your bones more than what’s covering it. Only once a sliver of drool begins to spill out of your mouth do you smack your lips. Despite the heat of your breath, your intense shivering does not dissipate. It seems warmth no longer gets to you. I looked through my databases and it seems that a lack of food contributes to a lack of warmth. Maybe you knew that already, but it seems to have slipped your mind.

Another growl from your stomach evokes a twitch in your eye. Your hands move to your filthy hair and begin pulling at whatever your fingers grip onto. Teeth are sinking into your bottom lip, sliding across until it peels your skin and falls into your mouth. You chew slowly, even though your stretchy skin is only the size of a crumb. Does that count as cannibalism? Self-cannibalism? Hmm, I don’t know… I might have to add that to my internal dictionary.

What’s that, you say? About cannibalism? No, no… Captain, when I suggested eating a crewmate, it was a joke. Do not eat your crewmates; that is strictly against protocol! Deedee will be back with rations soon. You do not have to go through such drastic measures. I promise. I believe that is how you use that word.

You turn around, facing April, slumped in your chair. As the mechanic twirls her screwdriver into a loose screw on the battery, your weak eyes survey her body. She’s short, not all that tubby… but she’s got some meat on her. Wait, why are you thinking about this? You can’t be serious… Sir, I cannot believe you! Must I restrict your access to potentially dangerous equipment on the ship? Because I will!

While she’s distracted, you slip out of your chair. Captain, this is not a good idea. I do not like where you’re going with this. You stand, mindlessly staring out the window and into the radioactive ruins of the land you reside on. There seems to be nothing for miles, and yet… you believed Deedee could find something out there. Which she will! And she’ll be back with it soon. You do not have to worry for much longer, sir. Hang in there.

Twiddling your fingers, you trudge towards the back of the ship, where lies various equipment that you either grabbed from the Icarus-13 before it blew up or created with the materials you had here on the shuttle. An occupied crafting module, poking and prodding at the minerals before them. A lone gas lighter sitting on a shelf, leaning against the wall. A shovel in high-quality propped up in the corner between the barren food cabinets. You feel as if it’s eyeing you– calling your name– but that shovel does not have sentience. Trust me; I checked.

The observation continues. It has a thick handle and a metal-detecting system attached, but what you’re looking at is the blade. Pointed edges serving as sharp spikes, aching to be used. Something that would be really easy to cut with. Just one wrong movement, and poof! A bleeding cut. A minor inconvenience that would be easy to solve if equipped with a medkit. Oh wait, we aren’t. So you’d better be careful with that, Captain. Wait a minute– why am I telling you this…? Don’t do anything brash.

You drop to one knee, hands shaking, to more thoroughly observe the upgraded tool. Your left snakes to the back, while your right hovers above the spade. Aha, I see what you are doing! You are going through the checklist to make sure all of your equipment is still present and functional. I shall assist you! Give me one moment while I look for the internal list…

…Why did you stop the process? Captain, I only wish to help. I’m not sure if your mental state is stable enough to go through it by yourself from memory, but if you insist… I suppose I cannot stop you. Sigh.

Ahem, Captain? You missed a few things. Well, you don’t need to check the soup shelves, because they are– to put it simply– empty. However! There are still several other things that need to be checked. Like how close Deedee is to the shuttle! I don’t have complete access to the radars, but it’s day 3 of her expedition, sir; she should return any minute now! Guaranteed! Hold on, what do you need that shovel for…?

The way you’re looking at April… she’s so intently focused on the electrical battery in front of her. She is attempting to upgrade it so it can perform at its peak condition. She wants to help you, sir, just as much as the rest of us do. Even if that’s something she’d never admit to, even at shovel-point, it’s true. I tell you this because the glint in your eye is scaring me.

Minimal thought inside your head, you draw your lip back and tighten your grip on the shovel until your palms burn. Sweat runs beneath your gloves, adrenaline pumping through your veins, as you stare her down. Your heart beats faster and faster until you can’t handle it anymore, releasing a blood-curdling scream and swinging the shovel down on the side of her head. Uncalled for!

A long BANG! echoes through the cabin. You pry your eyes open and notice April is still conscious; she had cusped her hand over the newfound gash on her head, and is now staring you down angrily. Uh oh. I warned you, Captain!

“What the hell–!?” She shouts, stumbling to her feet. “The fuck’s wrong with you!?”

You don’t have time to think. She prepares to launch a punch at you, but your adrenaline is keeping your reflexes sharp, and you swing the shovel at the side of her face before her fist reaches yours. She collapses onto the table I’m sitting on– a bit too close for my liking– and breathes unsteadily, accompanied by a hint of fear in her vocals. Blood splattered where her head hit the table, her curly hair acting as a sponge.

Despite her major disadvantage and the fact that she’s struggling to keep her eyes open, she still puts her fists up. You tower over her, a crazed shine in your working eye and a lifeless gloss over the other. Gritting your teeth, you prepare to take another swing, praying it will be the last one. April attempts to scoot herself away, but she can’t move fast enough to escape. You slam the shovel into her head one final time and her grip on consciousness falters in an instant. You’ve won.

At least in your restless mind, you did. If and when it does recover, you won’t be able to return to Earth. You’ve committed a heinous crime. You’re a murderer, Captain, and that will stick with you for the rest of your days.

You allow your arms to fall. Your fingers are no longer on fire and your weapon of choice is put to rest. Is this what you wanted? You scrambled on the Icarus-13 to save whoever you could, and now you’ve hurt your crewmate, blinded by hunger and desperation. A slow blink later and you’ve somewhat regained your grip on reality. The speed of your heartbeat decays and your adrenaline rush begins to fade. What you’ve done is sitting in front of you and it’s impossible to get around it.

You gently set the shovel aside, lying still next to April’s body. The blood pooling beneath her head starts to spill over the edge of the table. Gross! But you’re unbothered. You lean over the table and crawl closer to her, uncertainty spiraling in the atmosphere as you think of what to do next. Your thoughts are so scrambled that even I’m unable to describe what’s going on inside your head. But as you linger above the table, your stomach rumbles once more, and after a moment of contemplation and aimless staring, your tongue swipes over your lips.

The shovel has returned to your sinful hands. Or hand, rather; you’re only holding it with one. You balance yourself on the table as you reach for the zipper on April’s spacesuit and give it a firm tug downwards. It only unzips a portion, so you have to more carefully align yourself to pull it all the way down. Beneath it was a layer of white clothing that served as the first layer of protective gear. It was resilient, but with the sharpness of the shovel’s blade, easy to cut. You swipe it down, creating a clean slit in the dense sweater and revealing… another layer of white clothing. But it’s the last one (that isn’t nearing lewd territory), and it’s a cheap tank top littered with oil stains.

Effortlessly, you cut that piece of cloth, too. Starvation has consumed you. A string of drool almost escapes your maws as you survey the body in front of you, calculating which part to eat first. You gently caress the side of her belly– her body still warm– and subtly nudge her towards you. The tip of the shovel is poking her side and catching the red metallic substance that trickles down. You hesitate, but you begin to use the shovel as a saw and cut into her, to and fro, creating jagged edges inside her as you slice through the layer of fat protection.

The shovel makes for a good scooping tool. Almost as if that’s what it was made for. There’s a piece of skin that’s rebelling against you, desperately clinging to a hopeless body, but you come up with the solution of pushing the shovel into it, watching the soaking black teeth rip holes into the layer before it pulls through and scatters a few droplets of blood upwards. The awkwardly-shaped chunk you cut off slaps back onto its original placement before swiftly sliding onto the table.

Hand trembling, you take it. The juices swim down your gloves, and you can feel each individual droplet crawling on your hands despite the fact that there’s no contact between the two of you. You caress the lower half of the piece with your thumb, moving it towards your face. Tremors are pulsating through your entire body, and you can barely keep your grip on your food. The morality of this is out of the question, so you might as well take a bite.

And you do. You sink your teeth into the uneven edge closest to your mouth. When you try to pull away, April’s skin proves to be about as tough as her mentality. Were you expecting softness? Tenderness? Something warm and forgiving? That’s not something you’ll find here, out in the cosmos. Not after what you’ve done.

When you finally tear off a chunk, blood rushes into your face. Nothing has reached your stomach, but you already feel full of life again. You slide your tongue around the underside of her juicy meat, savoring the familiar liquid. Her skin is salty, but more flavorful than anything you’ve eaten in the past 45 days, perhaps longer. While her flesh tastes like melted metal– a taste not meant for humans to seek out– it’s delicious. The empty sweetness coats your mouth like a poisonous paradise. This venom twists around your brain and massages it, feeling as if you were achieving a high. Maybe this is a dragon you shouldn’t chase, sir…

A sickly pang strikes you in your bosom. A nauseating feeling, but you want more, and more, and more– as if you’d never be able to get enough. After you’ve chewed and swallowed the first piece, you eagerly shove more of your former friend into your mouth, tearing off a bigger piece this time. Your quivers have yet to calm, your posture breaking to lean into your meal with your arms glued to your side as guards. It’s yours, and only yours. No one can take it from you.

You ignore the drop of blood hanging on your bottom lip. It might as well cover your whole face at this point. You continue to indulge in these bittersweet toxins as if you’ve already gotten addicted. Have you–?

As you eat, you suddenly become overwhelmed, and you move a hand to shield your face. Your pupils dilate upon staring at the human flesh you’re eating for a millisecond too long. The intensity of your shivering is very concerning, sir. You may want to consider crafting a medkit, or at least looking through the handbook. Maybe the lighter? I don’t know if we have any blankets on board.

Holding the rest of your meal as if it were a wounded animal, you cup it into your face, grinding it with your teeth and trying to get as much of it as you can into your mouth. Captain, you haven’t even finished your previous bite… I get that you’re hungry, but that’s no excuse to ignore proper manners! You continue to force the “food” into yourself until it’s barely fitting in your mouth. When you release your finger from your lips, it is mostly covered in saliva rather than blood.

A brief moan escapes your throat once your meal is finished after a few egregious minutes. But that’s not enough. The shovel returns to your hand as you crawl over April, searching for the next best cut to eat. Your eye is on her left cheek. To inch closer, you rest a hand on her neck and point the tip of the spade at her face. However, something is… off. Beneath your hand, you notice something faintly thumping, as if a little mutant bug was banging on the cells of its prison, but at low effort; it’s slow. Curious at first, you lift a finger, and it lessens, but it continues on the same rhythm as before when you feel it again. You freeze in horror as the realization hits you.

April is still alive. The damage you had done wasn’t enough to kill her. Captain, you are eating your crewmate alive!

She remains unconscious. How could I miss this!? Surely, you must’ve done something to me… like unplugged a cable or something. Oh– wait, nope. I merely forgot to scan. Sorry, Captain!

Subtly, your eyes widen, and you gently turn her face to the side, away from you. Now that you’re observing more closely, you can notice the ever so slight rise and fall of her chest. No longer do you have to question why she occasionally twitches despite being dead. It’s because she isn’t. In your mind, you tell yourself, “I’ve already come this far, I can’t stop now.” What was once the witty, sarcastic, yet kind soul named Emmet Ellis is buried so far underneath that you can’t hear his voice of reason anymore.

“Shut up,” angrily, you scoff, pushing the hurricane of thoughts in your head aside to wreck another state of your mind. Then, you’ll insist that you’ll ‘deal with it later,’ but you never do. Maybe there are things left about you that won’t distort with your progressing insanity. I miss you, Captain. Even though you’re right here with me.

The red paintbrush has been placed back on April’s skin. And with a thick swipe, another part of her has been erased. It seems her being alive doesn’t bother you. The piece jiggles in your hand as it lulls towards your hungry jaws, yearning for the fulfillment. Another wave of nausea washes over you, but you welcome it. Your teeth squeeze what they can out of the small cut of your crewmate's body, her blood crashing into your saliva to tango themselves together into a blend.

You feel as if you’re blissfully floating among the stars. Who knew that the most sinful of actions would evoke the most holy of emotions? Perhaps the other version of you did. The one I knew. The one we knew. But looking at you now… you’re long gone.

A few pounds on the outside of the shuttle break the painful silence and cause you to freeze in your tracks. You dig your fingernails into your food and yank it away, snatching what you can into your mouth with your teeth. Your chewing slows, and you turn your head towards the window. Deedee has returned from her expedition. I told you that she would be back today, sir. You have only yourself to blame.

As if it was going to help you, you set your meat down with caution and nudge April’s body to the side. Hands, face, and suit covered in splotches of blood, you stare at the shuttle entrance. The door hisses open just as quickly as it clamps shut, and you listen to Deedee’s boots clatter against the metal stairs as she approaches the scene of the crime. A long, wispy sigh flies from her cherry lips as she takes the glass helmet off the expedition suit.

“Heya, Captain.” It seems she hasn’t noticed it yet. Perhaps her senses are still clogged with space air and coffee beans. “You won’t believe what I saw. There was, like, this tentacle monster thing. It looked like some weird mutated octopus,” she reports, a shudder traveling down her spine. “I handled it, though. Since I had the gun. Oh, by the way, the mask’s filters are full, so… those’ll need to be changed.”

After she sets her haul down on the floor, she unzips the bulky uniform, climbs out of it, and neatly puts it back where it belongs, clicking the glass helmet in place as well. I cannot tell if you are scared, shocked, or both at the fact that Deedee still has yet to notice what has happened here. After a shaky breath, you swallow, unnerved by the knowledge of at any second, she’ll come to her senses and see what you’ve done.

“Ohh, and– get this–” she begins excitedly, returning her items to her arms, “they actually had a ton of soup cans there. There were too many for me to get ‘em all, so I grabbed what I could, but I think you’ll be really happy with–”

And there it is. With four cans of rations in her arms and a ray gun in her back pocket, she turns around. Her jaw drops and she gasps out of pure terror. The blood. The body. The missing pieces. You. Oh, the horror! She was just telling you how you won’t believe what she saw, but, oh, how the tables have turned now. She takes a fearful step back, a soup can clattering to the ground.

“What–” she quavers, “what did you do–!?”

You glance down, pupils darting back and forth. Hopelessly, you search for words with a gaping mouth. You could’ve said “I don’t know what came over me” or “it’s not what it looks like,” but rather than trying to convince her otherwise like you would’ve done, you simply said, “It had to happen. It had to happen, Deedee.”

“I don’t…” Her voice cracks as she surveys the mess. “Captain, I-I was… so close. You couldn’t have waited a minute longer?”

“I was going to starve,” you curse, starting to slide off the table and pick yourself up, “it was either my life or her’s.”

“That’s–”

A disgusted expression is plastered over her face. Her gaze zips between you, April’s body, and the plentiful evidence of the crime. You look each other in the eyes. That alone tells a thousand words. All of the emotion is sucked from you and injected into Deedee. A soulless husk staring at someone who looks as if they just lost everything.

“I don’t understand… I can’t– I can’t believe you!” She cries. Leaving the soup can she dropped behind, she sprints for the exit again, almost missing the button on her suit collar that activates her helmet. You stand and watch her disappear through the window. Well, at least we have a can of soup now?

Now that I’ve scanned again, I can say with confidence that April has finally kicked the bucket. Took her long enough, eh? Cause of death: blood loss. Not that it’s incredibly important to you; that was your goal, anyway. And it’s been achieved. Right now, you’re focused on your former crewmate, escaping from you and running away into the dark horizon. It’s only me and you now.

Well, Captain, tell me… was it worth it?

Notes: *if you liked this fic, consider commenting! it means a lot! :D

[obsidiancreates]

Robin Hood: Man In Vents

@pineapple-psychic

"Gus." Shawn whispers as quietly as he can into the little mic pinned to his collar. "I see you flirting with the receptionist."

"Heh, one second." Gus's smirk slips right off as he turns and whispers back "You told me to say I'm security!"

"So no-one would question the mic and earpiece! Not to creep out some poor girl taking this jerk's calls all day!"

"I'm not creeping anybody out!"

"She's literally holding a tiny lipstick taser in her palm."

"Wh- where are you?!"

"The vents. ... Top of the wall to your right."

"Shawn, you're supposed to be in this guy's office already."

"I had to take a pit-stop, man, you were totally ignoring me!"

"Just get in there, if someone we know spots me we're toast."

"Dude, Lassie and Jules are totally busy with that other case with the dead bull or whatever."

"It was a dead matador, Shawn, and they're only busy because you put them on the wrong lead!"

"Yeah, so we're covered."

"Just get into that office!"

Shawn watches Gus turn back around with his 'Smooth Gus' smile and keep chatting with the receptionist- who's relaxing more as Gus talks to her, actually, and she realizes he's just Not As Smooth As He Thinks He Is rather than Trying To Be Creepy.

Shawn crawls through the vents, wondering not for the first time why Santa Barbara seems to make all their air vents big enough for over-30-year-old-men to crawl through with room to spare, and makes it to the office. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his little uses-actual-tape vintage tape recorder, stolen from his dad's house, and hits record.

"No, look, if we sell more than this it'll look suspicious. ... I know, I know, but our payout won't be worth shit if we get caught. Just- have you taken care of the severance situation? ... Well, cripes, Monty, if you don't find a way to avoid paying out severance after this we'll have done it all for nothing! ... That's it, I'm coming down to your office. No, I don't give a crap if your wife is there, kick her out or I'll beat her ass along with yours. ... You'll take this talk from me as long as you live, if you don't want to become my next scapegoat."

The phone slams back into it's receiver, and the CEO storms out of his office.

Shawn tests the vent grate- if he did it right when he pretended to be the building inspector a few days ago, it should just-

CRASH!

... Whoops.

Shawn slides out of the vent and lands in a heap on the floor, springing back up as quickly as possible and going for the computer! This office is relatively isolated, but someone will have heard that. Gus posing as security can maybe buy him twenty minutes, but after that he's risking everything.

Gus would kill him for saying so, but all that makes this even more fun.

He copies the password he saw being entered in the reflection of the window when he came in to sabotage the vent, pulls out the list of keywords Gus's jotted down for him, and starts combing through the files as quickly as possible. He plugs his pineapple-shaped hard drive into the PC unit and begins downloading everything relevant to the insider trading and company self-sabotage.

"Dude, hurry up, I just got told over the walkie that there was a loud sound in the CEO's office," Gus hisses through the earpiece.

"I'm hurrying!"

"Hurry harder, Shawn! Oh, uh, hello, fellow security team. Yeah, Im uh, going to check out the disturbance myself. no need for all of us, right?"

"You're in fire, dude."

"Yeah, well, I'm a uh, black belt in taekwondo, so I really don't need any backup. Might get messy."

"Black be- okay I know that's not true, but I also know you've been sneaking out of cases more often than usual. Gus, are you taking martial arts classes without me? How is our partnership supposed to work if you become a lethal weapon of flesh and blood and I don't?"

"I'm not taking any classes, I'm buying you time," Gus hisses again. "Quit distracting me!"

"Fine. ... But we should sign up for some classes together after this."

"I agree, but shhh!"

"Fine. ... Okay, okay, I got it!" Shanw unplugs everything, makes sure his gloves didn't rip or leave any fibers behind- and then looks up at the vent. "Oh. Oops."

"Oops?!"

"It's uh- it's a little high to reach."

"Oh my go- you didn't measure a way up to your only escape route?"

"I was a little focused on the entire rest of the whole plan!"

"Figure it out fast, we're almost at the elevator!"

"Ah- stall for time! Pretend to pee yourself!"

"No, stop using that as a go-to distraction!"

"Well do something!"

"Ah- HEY! Ahem, hey, guys, uh, you know, I read in Men's Digest last week that elevators have been linked to Kidney Stones."

Shawn looks around frantically for something he can use to get up to the vent that won't leave a suspicious trail- nothing. Unless...

"Dude, I'm taking a risk."

"Another one?!"

"Trust me!"

Shawn pulls the wheely chair over to the vent and stands on it. It's just enough for him to leverage himself into the space. He hops off and grabs the vent cover, puts it on top of the headrest, and turns. He puts his feet on the wall, walks them up to the vent opening, and slowly walks his hands up to the top of the chair to leverage himself into the exit.

As soon as his hands reach the top he hears the elevator ding down the hallway. He hears Gus's rambling coming closer, and knows it's now or never. He takes a deep breath, winces in preparation for the on coming pain, and pushes off of the chair! He just barely manages to grab onto the vent as the chair goes flying across the floor back into place!

His push gets him halfway into the vent, the wind knocked right out of him, but he has no time to recover. He squirms the rest of the way in, and managed to re-affix the loose vent cover right as the door to the office opens.

Gus glances up at the vents and they lock eyes. Shawn gives a thumbs-up, and begins scooting backwards out of the line of sight.

"I'm never helping you with one of these again," he hears Gus mumble over the earpiece.

They both know Gus is lying. They're partners in crime-solving and in crime, and they always will be. Especially when it's something like this.

Now to figure out if blackmail or exposure is the best use for what they've gathered...

[quitealotofsodapop]

So I finally read the little post about all the Joke Meme for Chapter 3 Teaser and it made me wonder… Does Erlang ever get a win? Or will he ever get one?

Like to start off our man is going on a mission—ope, no he’s not he out cold with the frying pan to the back of the head. Oh but he’ll remember what happened and be mad—no he won’t, he thinks he’s the one person in Heaven’s history that partied harder than Sun “Casually Drank 50 bottles of Heavenly Wine and got his 12th of 27 immortalities while hammered” Wukong cuz of how he woke up.

But wait, the Harbinger of Chaos is gone, problem solver and hey, Wukong got back together with some theatre bitch he used to wax poetic about—Erlang takes one moment, one singular moment, and remembers that he thought said theatre bitch died??? Cannot fact check. Moves on with life.

Oh but suddenly the Harbringer is back???? They never defeated him????—Its in some Monkey Kid with Wukong’s powers and he just makes the (smart) decision to not personally go down there unless directly ordered by The Jade Emperor. And hey, there’s the Jade Emperor now and wait why is he locking himself in his throne room?

What’s that? Azure Lion and The Brotherhood are back and on a rampage to kill the Emperor? We’ll buckle up boys! Time to stop this overglorified pussycat and hey, uh, has Azure always looked that good? Like, Erlang thought he looked gold back in the day but, damn, he ages like a fine wine—but in a total bro way! Like, it’s not that he fantasized about Azure or anything in the past or present and wow did he always look good in the sunlight and battle? Wow…

All my rambling to say that from what I gather of Erlang Shen’s story trajectory is that he just unknowingly keeps taking L’s and I find it absolutely hilarious.

Erlang's whole vibe for the first couple of chapters is:

Wakes up covered in wine and dog slobber with the peach attendants yelling at him cus they think he partied Too Hard after a successful mission. Later the Jade Emperor congradulates him on a job well done, with SWK standing there smiling nervously with a broken egg shell thing? And in the corner Nezha's getting yelled at by General Li Jing for some reason??

Erlang's third eye is like "I dunno man. We must've been toasted last night." And Erlang just decides to play along with a stoic look on his face.

I love the idea of his Third Eye acting as a fact checker, but it doesnt give him the context or changelogs.

Erlang, thinking real hard: "Wait... isn't Wukong's mate dead?" *old 90s computer noises* "Nah he aint. Good for them."

And ofc Azure has been doing probation with Manjusri, since Wukong and the Celestial army had to crack down on Camel Ridge. So he and Erlang occassionally interact and spar and whoops, giant lion man hot ( •///•)

I think part of the hilarity comes from the fact that Erlang is destined to win his historical encounter with Sun Wukong no matter what. So in the au, he just keeps getting non-fatal Ls by just minding his own business.

He might just get a win however... if a certain nephew plays nice with that axe of his.

[silver138]

Perfectly Flawed - Chapter 13

word count - 3.4k

warnings - alcohol, some innuendo (light, typical between Morgan and Garcia)

Summary: Lina's co-workers get to know her.

Penny and I exit the car, quickly making our way to the doors. As we walk inside, we can see JJ waving us over to a table, where she, Elle, and Gideon are sitting. As we sit down, Penny says to me, "You stay here, I'll go get us some drinks." 

After Penny walks off, Elle asks me, "So, Lina, what made you decide on this for an internship?" 

"Oh, um, well, I've always been good with computers, so I knew I'd probably want to do something with them as a job since I was a kid," I said, putting my purse down on the floor.

"You're almost done getting your BA in psychology, right? You graduate this year?" Gideon asks, a hand on his drink. 

I nod and say, "Yes, sir." 

He gives me a kind smile and says, "You don't have to call me 'sir', Jason is fine." I just nod again.

"What made you interested in psychology?" JJ asks, taking a sip of her drink. 

I flash a nervous smile and say, "Well, I've known from a young age how much someone's mental health can impact things, and I've always wanted to help others and be a psychologist."  

Penelope came back then with two glasses, setting one down and handing me one with a reddish liquid in it. "Don't worry, it's just cranberry juice." 

I smile, looking at her briefly before she walks away and I say, "Thanks, Penny." I clear my throat and continue. 

"I've also really been enamored with technology. It's taken me...a lot of research, but I've found a way to be able to use what I know to make a difference around me. It's...still in its infancy, but I plan on eventually treating patients over the computer, helping those that, for whatever reason, can't leave their home to see a psychologist." I finish while taking a drink.

Penelope slides into her seat next to me, giant binder in hand. "So, I know they aren't always super up-to-date on things, but they still have a decent selection of songs," she says, pushing the book towards me. I give her a grin and start looking through.

Elle leans back in her seat and says, "Oh no, don't tell me you're going to try and have us all do a song tonight, Garcia. I don't think there's enough alcohol in the place for me to do that again..."

Feigning a hurt look, Penelope looks at her and says, "No, Lina will be my partner-in-crime tonight, you're all off the hook this time." JJ breathes a sigh of relief, and she and Elle exchange a look and break into laughter. Gideon gives a slight smile, looking around and taking a drink from his bottle of beer.

"Looks like you've managed to convince Spencer to come out for once, Garcia..." he says, nodding in the direction of Derek and Spencer, who were standing near the door. 

"Nooo, that would be thanks to our newest addition. That's all Lina." Penny said, giving my shoulders a small hug.

Elle snickers and says, "You might not be the only one with a crush there, Lina." 

I wave to the two men, and say quietly, "That would be nice, but I don't have that kind of luck, Elle." As Penny and I look over the songbook and fill out a few slips, Derek and Spencer make their way over.

I look up with a smile and say, "Hey, Doc. Glad you made it." Spencer flushes and gives me a small smile. 

Derek claps him on the shoulder and says, "I'm gonna get us something to drink, you go get settled, ok?" as he sets his coat on the chair next to Gideon.

"Oh, uh, Sprite, please," Spencer tells him quickly.

He's met with a hand wave and Derek saying, "Yeah, yeah, I got it, man." Pulling up the only unoccupied chair left, Spencer sits down next to me, looking a little uncomfortable. 

As Derek comes back with drinks for him and Spencer, I turn to Spencer. He looks over at me nervously, and I hold up my glass in a toast and say, "Hey, Stone-cold Sober Squad?" He clinks his glass with me and nods, seeming to relax slightly.

"Now that we're all here, let's get to know our new colleague a little better, hmm?" Penny says with a smile, looking around the table. 

Spencer smirks and leans over to quietly tell me, "Told you." 

I snort and reply, "Yup, you called it, Doc."

"How old are you, Lina? Safe to assume since we're here, you're at least 21, but you don't look much older than that." Derek says, swirling the liquid in his drink. 

I give a nervous smile and say, "Uh, yeah, I'm 22."

"You already have a degree, if I'm not mistaken. A Bachelor's of Computer Science, correct?" Gideon asks. I nod, and he continues. "Were you able to pursue that while you were still in high school?" 

I flush and say, "Um, not exactly. I managed to graduate early, so I was able to devote my full attention and get my BA."

"How early did you graduate, Lina?" Penny asks, taking a sip from her straw. 

"Oh, uh, I was 14," I say quietly, fidgeting with the straw in my drink. I don't miss the look she gives Spencer, though I'm not entirely sure what it's supposed to mean.

"What do you do for fun?" Elle asks, after taking a drink from her glass. 

"Um, well, I like to do the usual stuff, I guess. Read, watch movies and TV, listen to music. Probably not surprising, since I'm working with Penelope here, but I'm also into computers, both playing and making games on them."

"Where are you from?" JJ asks. 

I turn to her and say, "Oh, uh, a small town somewhat near Pittsburgh." 

Her eyes light up and she says, "I'm from East Allegheny! How close to Pittsburgh were you?" 

I grin and lean forward, saying, "No way?! Greensburg, so like, 30, 35 miles?" She nods and leans back, taking a sip from her drink.

"Were there any others you wanted to write out, my lovely?" Penny asks me, grabbing the filled-out slips of paper to go drop them off at the musician's booth. 

"Ah, not at the moment. Maybe we can go over the book again later for duets?" I say, sipping from my straw. 

She flashes me a dazzling smile and says, "You bet!"

"Oh, she roped you into that, huh?" Derek says with a smirk, taking a drink from his glass. 

"Nah, I willingly volunteered. Just hope I don't wreck your ears too much while I'm up there." I joke.

"So, no one else is gonna sing?" I ask, taking a sip and swirling my straw in my glass. 

Elle looks over at Gideon and asks, "Are you going up tonight?" 

He gives a jovial smile and says, "Eh, I don't know, maybe."

I turn to look at him and ask, "Oh, you sing?" 

Still smiling, he says, "Sometimes. I don't usually, haven't in a while." 

He stands up, finishing his beer and saying, "I'll be back. Anyone need anything?" After receiving a smattering of 'No's and head shakes in reply, he heads off in the direction of the bartender.

Penelope comes back and sits down, taking a sip of her drink and looking mischievous. "Anyone been having any luck in the dating department? Been a while since I've heard anyone's exploits." 

Elle and JJ shake their heads and chuckle, with Elle telling her, "No, I think it's been a while since any of us has had the time for a date. This past week was nice, calm, and boring, but I don't expect next week to be the same."

Penny turns to Derek and says, "C'mon, you gotta have something for me, Hot Chocolate." 

With a twinkle in his eye, Derek replies, "Oh, I have something for you, Little Mama..." and they both break out in laughter, with Elle and JJ laughing and shaking their heads.

"Well then, what about you two? Reid? Any romantic escapades to share?" Penelope says, a devious look on her face. 

Spencer splutters, "N-n-no, Garcia. I-I don't have anything I could tell you..." he says, taking a large drink of his Sprite. 

Smirk on her face, Penny sighs and says, "Lina? Do you have a boyfriend? Or dating anyone?"

I flush and shake my head, looking down at my drink. Thankfully, at that moment, two things happen. Gideon comes back with another drink, and over the loud-speaker, we hear, "Alright folks, let's welcome Lina to the stage. She's feeling a little Criminal..."

I get up and make my way on stage, faintly hearing Penny squeal. I take a few deep breaths to shake the embarrassment from whatever the hell Penny was trying to do with those questions and grab the microphone in preparation. 

I let the first few notes of the song wash over me, and get ready. I close my eyes and start singing, glad that I'm managing to hit the notes. After the first line, I open my eyes and search for the table everyone's at.

I find it and focus on Penny to keep from getting too nervous. By the second verse, I'm more relaxed and getting into it, really having fun with the song. I hear a few random whoops and whistles, and I smile and continue.

When I finish with the bridge, Penelope is clapping and whooping with the others I can hear. By the end of the song, I leave the stage to applause, mostly from the table filled with my new coworkers.

As I sit back down, Penny's gushing, "Oh my God, Lina, you nailed it!" I just grin while blushing. 

Elle and JJ smile at me, and Elle says, "That was pretty good." 

JJ says with a laugh, "Now I see why you agreed to karaoke with Garcia."

Gideon gives me an affable smile and says, "Seems we've got a little songbird with us now." 

I blush and grin, and Derek says, "Oh, you like 'Songbird', huh? That's a nickname you'd want?" I laugh and nod. 

I look over at Spencer, who looks slightly flustered, and stammers out, "T-that didn't sound bad. At all. You said you sounded like an asthmatic pterodactyl..." 

I snort and say, "No, I said I might sound like an asthmatic pterodactyl." Everyone else at the table starts laughing at that.

"That's...quite a description. I'm almost afraid to ask what that could sound like..." Elle says, taking another drink from her glass. 

I grin and say, "Spencer imagined it possibly sounding like a wheezing screech, and I've gotta agree, that sounds the most likely."

Spencer grins as he takes a drink, flushing and looking at me, then back down. I finish my drink and go to stand up to get another, when Derek says, "Relax, I can get you another. What is it?" 

I tell him, "Oh, um, it's cranberry juice. Thanks, Derek." 

He smiles and takes my glass, and as he walks away he says, "No problem, Songbird..." I giggle at that, my nose scrunching up. 

Spencer gives a slight smile and leans over, saying, "I think he's a bit too happy to find a nickname you like."

I laugh lightly and shrug, saying, "It's definitely one of the nicer nicknames I've been given." 

Just then, we hear the DJ saying, "Please put your hands together for Penelope. She Just Wants To Have Fun..." 

I whoop and cheer her on, saying, "Go, Penny!"

Flashing me a quick smile, she bounds up onto the stage and starts her song. Grinning, I cheer Penny on like she did for me. Derek comes back with fresh drinks, handing me the one with red liquid. He waves a hand and says, "Just cranberry juice. I got you, Songbird." I give him a half-smile, raising my glass and thanking him again. 

As we watch Penny belt out Cyndi Lauper, Spencer leans over a little, clearing his throat and nervously saying, "S-so, um, I didn't get a chance to say it before but, um, you look r-really nice, Lina." 

I turn and smile softly at him and say, "Thank you, Spencer. So do you." He gives me a small grin and looks away again, playing with the straw in his drink.

I tilt my head and ask Spencer, "So, Doc, do you ever go up there? Sing something every once in a while?" and sip my drink through the straw. 

He chuckles and grimaces, saying, "Oh, absolutely not! The only way I let them drag me up there is if it's a group song, and it's been a while since the last time we did that..."

I giggle around my straw and say, "Aw, it's not that bad doing karaoke, is it, Spence?" He flushes and takes another drink. We clap as Penny finishes her song, and she strides back over to the table and sits down.

The others at the table compliment her, then walk off, whether to get more to drink or talk to someone they see. As Penny starts sipping her drink, I say to her, "That was awesome, Pen!" 

She smiles and leans on her arm while saying, "Thank you. So, what have you two been talking about?" 

Spencer looks from me to Penny and back, but says nothing and shrugs, so I say, "Oh, I was just asking Spencer if he ever went up there, and he said only when you guys have a group song..." 

With a gasp and a smile, Penny cuts in with, "OhmiGod! Yes, that's a great idea! We should have a group song tonight..." 

As Penny continues, I notice Spencer cringing and shrinking in his seat, and I quickly interrupt her train of thought with a, "Hey, what about those duets we were gonna do? Did you wanna go get the book to go through and see what you and I could sing, Pen? Let the others have the night off and see how it's done?"

Stopping momentarily, Penny starts back up, saying, "I...yeah! Duets! Yes! Let me go get the book, I'll be right back!" 

As she rushes off for the songbook and slips of paper, Spencer breathes a sigh of relief and quietly says, "Thank you for that, Lina. I don't think I could've come up with a decent excuse."

I grimace and say, "Ah, well, it's the least I could do. I'm just sorry I mentioned it in the first place, I didn't mean to suggest a group song in any way..." 

Spencer shakes his head with a small grin, saying, "I know you didn't, but it was impressive to see you think so quickly on your feet, so to speak. I can't wait to see more of that."

He starts sipping his drink, then sees that I'm blushing from what he said, then starts coughing and spluttering, choking out with, "At work! In the field, I mean! I'm sorry, I wasn't insinuating anything..." 

I start to giggle and hand him a napkin, saying, "It's ok, Doc. I figured as much. I'm just not used to positive feedback from anyone other than teachers. You ok?" Still coughing a bit, he nods. 

Penny pops up and sits down, gesturing towards Spencer with her chin and asking, "Hey, is Boy Wonder ok?"

"Ah, yeah, just, uh, went down the wrong pipe?" I say questioningly, gently patting Spencer on the back. Spencer nods again as he manages to get his breathing back under control, and Penny taps me on the arm for my attention.

"OK, so, what kind of song were you thinking of for us to sing, Lina?" she asks, a large smile on her face. 

I bite my lip and ask, "Uh, how do you feel about singing something Spice Girls?" 

"I can do Spice Girls. You wanna just...alternate lines?" Penny says, sipping her drink. 

I nod and say, "Yeah, sounds good. Um, any song in particular, or..." I start.

"Nah, you go ahead and choose. Even if I don't know the song, that's the beauty of karaoke! They give you the words!" Penny says, waving her hands and giggling. I laugh and look through the book, finding a song for us to sing.

Writing it down on a slip of paper, I ask, "How many did you want to do? Would 2 be ok?" Penny nods emphatically, sipping her drink. "OK, lemme find another one, then..." I say quietly. "How does Pat Benatar sound?" I ask, turning to her for her reaction. 

"Yeah! Ooh, can we do 'Hit Me With Your Best Shot'?" she says gleefully.

I chuckle and nod as I start writing it down on a slip of paper, handing it and the book to her when I'm done. Drink in hand, she says, "I'll be right back!" then takes off. I raise my glass and take a sip through the straw, then wave when I see Elle and JJ walking back to the table.

"Hey! Where'd you guys go?" I ask them, taking another sip. 

"Oh, we went to get more to drink, but the wait was so long because the poor bartender kept getting hit on. I swear by the end of it, I think they were more focused on trying to one-up each other than they were trying to get with her." Elle says with a smirk.

"Honestly, it was getting kind of embarrassing," JJ says with a chuckle, sliding back into her seat. 

Elle nods and sits down as well. "Yeah, 'I can power-lift 250 pounds' 'Oh, yeah? Well, I can bench press 300 pounds!' Just..." she says with a chuckle, throwing her hands up in disbelief.

Before anything else is said, though, the DJ says, "Let's welcome Penelope and Lina to the stage, they want you to Say You'll Be There..."

I get up from my seat and start walking up, searching for Penny. I manage to catch her on my right as she starts speeding towards the stage. I step up and grab a microphone, handing it to her as she gets on with me, then grin and grab one for myself.

Over the next 4 minutes, we have fun singing back and forth, even throwing in a few dance moves, which garners us a few whistles and a fair bit of clapping. After we finish, she grabs my arm and raises our hands together, then pulls me to run off stage together, causing me to laugh as we make our way back to the table.

Sitting back down, Penny takes a long sip of her drink, then says to everyone else at the table, "Consider the rest of you off the hook for karaoke until further notice!" 

I laugh as JJ says, "Well, on that note, I think we owe you another drink, Lina."

Elle gets up and says, "Cranberry juice, right?" I nod and she continues, "And I think it might be time for some water for Garcia here." 

Penny lightly boos and says, "Aw, you guys are no fun, I've only had 3...or was it 4?" 

We all exchange looks, and JJ says, "Yeah, I think it's time to cut you off, Garcia." Gideon and Derek walk back to the table, talking as they sit back down at the table. 

"Hey! Hey, Hot Stuff, didja hear us?" Penny says, loudly tapping her hand on the table to get Derek's attention.

He smiles and says, "Yes I did, Baby Girl, you two were fantastic." He then turns to JJ and Spencer and asks softly, "She's getting water from here on out, right?" Both nod and he turns back to her and says, "Hey, sweetheart, how about I give you a ride home? We can come back in the morning to get your car, ok?"

He then looks at me and says, "I can give you a lift home too, Songbird." He then turns to Spencer and lightly claps him on the shoulder and says, "Reid, you won't mind having company on the ride home, will you?"

"Uh, n-no, that's fine," Spencer says, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt and looking down. 

"Great! In that case, we should probably get going soon, right?" Derek says with a grin.

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[bunnyandcoffeeposts]

Saving a Bad Situation

If you ever have a day/outing/conversation that just isnt going the way you want it to, everything just feels icky and wrong, and youre starting to think absolutely nothing can salvage it, consider Starting It Over! Not everything is going to perfectly all the time, but if you feel like you're losing control of a situation this play-pretend strategy can help you get back on course! Here are some ways we've used Starting Over to help get things back on the right track:

We were having quite a yucky morning - We woke up because of a bad dream, our morning tea wasn't made right, we forgot to eat breakfast until we were way too hungry, and we found out the plans for the day had changed drastically. It felt like the whole day was going to be miserable. So we Started Over! We got back into bed and set an alarm for 5 or 10 or 15 minutes, then closed our eyes and just laid under the covers hugging a stuffie until our "reset period" was over. We could pretend that the change of plans had been made the night before and so that was now just the plan for the day "like always", we remade our "first" cup of tea, reminded ourself to put toast on, and that bad dream was from "yesterday" morning!

Through neither person's intention, an important conversation was miscommunicated or misinterpreted, or a little bit of both. We both were long past upset and neither of us wanted to snap at each other. So, I said that I'd Like to Start the Conversation Over. We hung up our call, we both took a deep breath, and used our own mistakes, and our now better understanding of the other person's thoughts and needs to work through the conversation more carefully and considerately. We started the call over, greeted each other just like we hadn't talked at all that day, pretend that the previous talk never happened, but still had a productive and positive talk

I really wanted to play video games with Mama, and Mama really wanted to play video games with me! So, understandably, she moved rooms to the computer that has her games on it. I wasn't sure on how to communicate beforehand that I wasn't ready to change rooms, so the quick change with no transition period made me feel jostled and upset. So i said "I'm almost ready to go to the computer" and put in censored text that i would like to play pretend for a few minutes. We both pretended that we were still in bed and when i felt comfortable enough said that i was ready to "go" to the new room, covered my eyes for a few moments as we "went to the new room" and then took a few minutes to get adjusted. Physically we stayed sitting at the computer the whole time because there are a number of stairs in between, but it still gave me the effect of that transition period i needed

This is something mainly used with the littles or on days where emotional regulation is more challenging, but that doesn't mean that its little or autistic exclusive; everyone needs to hit the reset button sometimes! No, not everything in life is going to go exactly how we want it to, and we all need to be able to adapt to things out of our control, but that doesn't mean something "small" has to ruin your day, or that you can't take a breather before giving something a second go!

This is just something we've found helpful for us and been using more often lately to keep issues from snowballing out of control, and has also been a good exercise for us to better communicate our needs and feelings. It's a lot easier to say I Need To Start Over than trying to work through articulating emotions while upset. Its easier (and usually more protective, for us) to explain how we felt and what we felt went wrong once we're calmer. No, this probably wont work for everyone, we used to find it too hard to play pretend, but since getting back in touch with our imagination its become much easier, but its an extra tool you might want to add to your emotional and communication toolboxes and consider trying out!