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deltastra · 6 months ago

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My Sonic Movie 3 Predictions

So I initially planned to make this post AFTER my SonicxShadow Generations post.

Unfortunately life happened and I'm still writing that.

AND I won't be able to watch the movie until 3-4 weeks after the release date...

So, here are my predictions for Sonic 3. Stuff I believe will happen, how likely I believe it will happen, and why I believe so.

UPDATE: I am aware that recently, the movie's plot and post-credit scene got leaked. So I just wanted to state that all of this was written on the 14th of December when there were no leaks. I am not hinting anything or spoiling the movie. If you have seen the leaks, please avoid confirming or denying anything on the list as you may spoil the movie for people who are interested.

THESE ARE JUST PREDICTIONS. NOT SPOILERS

Super Shadow (VERY Likely)

Shadow will live (Likely)

Dr. Eggman's fate will be ambigious again (Likely)

Gerald is immortal and will drop the goofy persona in the final act (Somewhat Likely)

The ACTUAL Live and Learn song will play (Very Likely)

Maria won't be shot (Somewhat Likely)

Team Heroes will betray G.U.N (Somewhat Likely)

Time Travel may be involved (Likely)

Amy and Metal Sonic for post-credit scene (VERY Likely)

As for my opinions on it and why...

If you have no knowledge on Sonic outside of the movies, then consider this a spoiler warning

Super Shadow (VERY Likely)

Okay let's get the obvious out of the way. This is happening, we all know it. Not much to say. He will probably go super with Sonic and stop the Ark or something...

Shadow will live and learn (Likely)

It's important to remember that at the end of the day. The Sonic movies are FAMILY movies. So, I highly doubt they would kill a fan favourite like Shadow or confirm him as dead. Also, if they plan on making more movies, they may need Shadow.

However, I won't mind him being for one movie only, it could feel more impactful. But I understand many may disagree with that.

(Off topic but I hope Sonic says "Sayonara Shadow the Hedgehog")

Dr Eggman's fate will be ambigious again (Likely)

Now, this may sound like a weird prediction to make but bear with me here. I'm not saying that it will be unclear if he dies or not at the end of the movie like at the end of Sonic 2, but rather, it will be unclear if he continue being the villain for future movies. I believe this for two reasons.

Jim Carrey's retirement plans and the ending to Sonic Adventure 2.

Jim Carrey's retirement news has been very wishy-washy. It certainly seems he will return whenever he wants to but that means the writers cannot confirm his presence for future movies because of this.

This also pairs well with the ending to Sonic Adventure 2

I believe Eggman will have a moment with Tails similar to this scene. For Jim Carrey's Eggman, this scene will show the ambiguity of Eggman's actions for the next few movies. He will talk about Gerald and we will be left wondering whether he will turn over a new leaf.

(Tho, I do not know for sure what will become of Gerald by the end of the movie, since he wasn't executed. Not a fan of that change, but I will keep an open mind.)

Speaking of Gerald...

Gerald is immortal and will drop the goofy persona in the final act (Somewhat Likely)

To be honest I dislike the "Goofy villain suddenly gets mean and serious near the end" cliche. In fact, I do not like the idea of a goofy Gerald even if he is just pretending because it doesn't feel like he will emit that feeling of insanity birthed from grief.

And yet...I feel like that's where the movie is heading so it's best I learn to deal with this possibility so as to not ruin my enjoyment.

Let's talk about the immortality thing instead.

HOW ON EARTH IS HE STILL ALIVE?! I believe in the movie's universe, Gerald did eventually discover immortality using Shadow. But instead of handing it over to G.U.N, he used it on himself and went into hiding, waiting for the day he can get revenge with Shadow.

On paper, not only does this sound like the most probable, ITS ALSO KINDA COOL? Sadly the "Goofy Gerald" act throws me off sorta.

The ACTUAL Live and Learn song will play (Very Likely)

With the reveal of the ending song being "Run It", a country pop song, many have began to doubt if Live and Learn will actually play in the movie. I believe it will.

Instead of the ending credits, the song will definitely play during the final battle which eventually leads to Shadow's sacrifice. I know it's just baseless speculation on my end but the reason why I believe so is because of how much they advertise the movie as a love letter to Sonic fans in interviews. It would be crazy if they didn't add the song.

I believe that they will add the Sonic Symphony's version of the song. I listened to the symphony's version and it genuinely sounds fitting for a climactic showdown on a movie-scale.

I will still keep my expectations low because we may just get a orchestral version of it instead....fingers crossed though!

Maria won't be shot (Somewhat Likely)

A common joke among fans is Maria getting shot. I see it online and I feel like it's become kind of a flex that the Sonic Movie will have such a scene. And it feels like so many people are convinced it WILL happen. I do want that scene because it highlights the core issue with G.U.N and how far they'd go.

However, the reason why I also believe the scene will not be shown is due to censorship and how they've gone from clearly insinuating how she died, to keeping it somewhat vague.

Take a recent game like Shadow Generations for example

No guns are shown, and if they were, it would be hard to see. But the implication was still there due to the gunshot sound.

But before, they wouldn't be subtle about it.

I don't know how they'll kill off Maria in the movie, but I hope its at least G.U.N's fault that it happened. No "accidents".

SCU G.U.N soldiers do carry guns so maybe they might imply the scene. But I would also not be so surprised if they changed it. I just hope the change makes sense. In other words, I hope the movie still treats her death how it was meant to be treated. A tragedy caused by those in power.

Please...PLEASE...do not glorify or excuse G.U.N's actions SCU...yea that's my main concern so that's why my next prediction feels more like a cope...

Team Heroes will betray G.U.N (Somewhat Likely)

Adventure 2 centered around Sonic getting falsely accused by the military and even getting captured by them for a while.

Hence, this is not only a prediction, but also a hope for the movie.

It's very obvious that in the SCU, Sonic works with the police and the government. He does it to be the "hero" of Earth, Knuckles and Tails follow him. Many people are upset over this and I agree. It feels off for Sonic to work WITH authorities or support them in any way.

But the thing is, Sonic is not really a static character in the SCU. He learns and grows. So I genuinely think that Sonic will work with G.U.N for the first and second act, then betray them in some form after learning the truth.

It doesn't need to be a big betrayal by Sonic, but rather a "I'm not following orders" mindset from him.

Time Travel may be involved (Likely)

This is a common theory, not a fan of it but it seems likely that it will happen. Look at all the damage that's caused. I feel like that volcanic area was destroyed land.

Not only that, the Moon was sliced, I don't see the movies keeping the Moon destroyed. It doesn't feel like the SCU want any "point of no return" for anything (I don't know if consequences is the right word here).

If they do time travel, I hope it isn't too hammered in. Maybe just a slight change to justify the climax without taking away any of the emotional impact. But I still wouldn't be a fan of it.

Amy and Metal Sonic for post-credit scene (VERY Likely)

Yea I feel like they're going to take inspiration from Sonic CD for the next movie.

It may be possible he will be created because Sonic gives a quill to Eggman in the first trailer as a deal. Which leads to Eggman creating Metal Sonic.

With the introduction of Metal Sonic, I don't see why they wouldn't introduce Amy (Then again they are adapting Adventure 2 without her or Rouge so...).

Oh but I also recall that those who attended the premiere said that the post-credits scene is "better" than the Shadow Reveal in Sonic 2...

Is it really going to be Silver? Nah, I still think it's Metal Sonic and Amy.

I don't believe Silver will be introduced right after Shadow because it would feel too similar to Shadow. Hedgehog vs Hedgehog. So why not place Hedgehog vs Robot Hedgehog in between?

I definitely won't mind if Silver and Blaze are in the post-credits scene though. Knowing that Sonic Team planned Year of Shadow with the movie as the grand conclusion, it makes me hope they make it a regular thing for other characters. Year of Silver? Sounds fun. Any character getting a year will be fun.

Conclusion

Geez this took a long time to write...but I'm glad I got all my predictions out now.

I do want to clarify something. Reading my post again, it seems that I'm speaking about the SCU in a slightly negative tone.

I won't say I dislike the movies. I'm just cautiously optimistic. I don't expect 1:1 adaptations from them, and I'm pretty sure Hollywood execs like to get in the way of creativity sometimes in order to focus on profit.

There is also an issue of target audience. The movies, at the end of the day, are for families. They're family movies and kids are the target audience. THAT'S NOT A BAD THING. It's just the reason why I don't expect too much, the plot still has to be quick and easy to follow. It can't be TOO dark either.

However, while I do look at the SCU as just "enjoyable spin-off media", I genuinely like the movies and I am excited to see what Sonic 3 has in store!

#my thoughts #sonic movie #sonic the hedgehog movie #sonic 3 #sonic the hedgehog 3 #sonic the hedgehog movie 3 #sonic movie 3

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veliseraptor · 1 year ago

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March Reading Recap

Juliet: The Life and Afterlives of Shakespeare's First Tragic Heroine by Sophie Duncan. I actually really liked this one! It was an interesting look at several different lenses that have been used over time to look at Juliet (specifically Juliet, not the play), including the relationship between fascism and Juliet in Verona, Italy and the development of West Side Story (didn't know Juliet was Jewish in an early version). I enjoy sort of niche/specific books focusing on a very particular subject, and this book scratched that itch well.

The Brilliant Abyss: Exploring the Majestic Hidden Life of the Deep Ocean, and the Looming Threat That Imperils It by Helen Scales. I read this book too soon after The Underworld by Susan Casey which, while not necessarily a better book, covered a lot of the same terrain. The trouble with a keen interest in a niche topic is, I suppose, that the books on it can start to get repetitive sometimes. It was still good, though, and this one focused a bit less on the history of human exploration than Casey did and a bit more on the ecosystems themselves, which I did welcome.

Blood of the Chosen and Emperor of Ruin by Django Wexler. The second and third books in the series that started with Ashes of the Sun - both continued the trend of "I don't know that I'd call these particularly good works of literature but they were very enjoyable and propulsive." The second book was stronger than the third - I ended up feeling like the conclusion of the trilogy was weaker and a little rushed, but I still enjoyed the experience as a whole and would offer at least a tentative, general recommendation of the series for those looking for a fantasy series that's not particularly innovative or serious but is an exciting ride.

The First Sister by Linden A. Lewis. This book reminded me a little bit of Such Desperate Glory but wasn't quite as well done, I don't think. The back compared it to Mass Effect but I don't really see that as a reasonable comparison. Possibly one of my favorite things about it was the cover design, which fucks. I still liked it, though, and I'm going to read the sequel.

The Great White Bard: How to Love Shakespeare While Talking About Race by Farah Karim-Cooper. Sometimes when I read things I feel like a snot because I go "this is interesting information but the writing feels a little amateurish" and that was my situation with this book. It was good analysis and interesting to read, though sometimes the "and this is how this is modern-ly relevant! q-anon mention" felt a little bit...ehhh, unnecessary, but the writing itself was...yeah. It felt amateurish. Which might just be a result of the book itself being targeted at a particular audience that's less academically-minded than I am, that's certainly possible, but it did affect my enjoyment of the book.

Last Days by Adam Nevill. Mostly this was good spooky fun, though it lost me with the "the ultimate bad guy is an overweight bisexual actor with AIDS" (it's a little more complicated than that, but not enough). Too bad, because conceptually and in terms of imagery it could've been very good. Between this and my last Nevill, I might have to give future books a pass. My search for horror that isn't playing on bigoted tropes apparently continues, since I'm on a bit of a streak there with this and Ring.

China: A History by John Keay. I'd call this one a solid overview despite the choice to use "bureaux" for the plural. However, I'm taking a lot of it with a grain of salt since as far as I can tell he didn't use many or possibly any Chinese secondary sources, and relied primarily for quotations/analysis on English secondary sources. I would've liked to see more of a balance. Still, as far as background information and a general broad history goes, it feels like it was worth reading for me to get a little more background/grounding in history I don't have a lot of familiarity with. (Also, holy shit did Ken Liu crib hard on Liu Bang and Xiang Yu for The Grace of Kings and now I know that.)

Remnants of Filth: vol. 3 by Rou Bao Bu Chi Rou. I continue to really enjoy this book and this volume might be my favorite yet - the flashbacks were satisfying to fill in some of the gaps in mysteries as yet unrevealed, and having Gu Mang fully "back" (more or less) is a fun development that is already having consequences changing the dynamic between him and Mo Xi in delightfully angsty ways. Of the cnovels I'm currently in the middle of this one is close to LHJC as far as my favorite.

Starter Villain by John Scalzi. This one is what I think people would call a "romp" which is all well and good and I probably should've known what I was getting into, but I think I am just not much of a "romp" reader. It was fun, I guess? But I don't know that I felt like it was good, and I'm probably not going to go around recommending it. My first Scalzi, and I don't know if that's typical of him, but I probably won't be in a hurry to pick up another one anytime soon.

Invisible Planets: Contemporary Chinese Science Fiction in Translation ed./trans. by Ken Liu. Short story collections are really hit and miss for me, but this was actually a collection that was pretty hit all the way through! Very interesting stories, a couple I'm still thinking about. I'm looking forward to reading my other collection of short stories in translation, which includes some fantasy - some of these actually felt somewhere between fantasy and science fiction in a very interesting way that I liked.

phew. I read a lot last month! Currently I'm reading Medea by Eilish Quin (we'll see how that goes); I have on my docket The Mountain in the Sea by Ray Nayler (recommended to me) and I think I might reread She Who Became the Sun so I can read He Who Drowned the World. I've been on more of a fiction than a nonfiction kick of late, but I am eyeing Islands of Abandonment by Cal Flyn and might make that part of my rotation. we shall see!

#sometimes i read things #reading recaps

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eldritch-spouse · 2 years ago

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So I am nearly six feet tall which is on the taller side of women (I am female) and mid rage for men. Which is why I love your OC's cause plenty of them are gigantic. But the impcubus are vastly smaller compared to me. I like to be dominated, thrown around (I'm also quite curvy), and babied. so my question is which of the impcubus would pair well with me? Who would like having a Goliath human partner? Who could set my height aside and see that I am zero percent a Dom despite having the bod for it.

Feel free to ignore this.

["Impcubus" is a play on the words "imp" and "incubus"- To which there is only one in the servants' cast, Lacai. I understand you're talking about all the imps in general though.]

One thing you have to kind of take into account is that, given the physical variety within monsters, there isn't much of that "As a woman, I should date someone taller than me" or "As a man, I should date someone shorter than me" kind of tendency that many human groups have. Neither is it very often assumed that the taller element of a dynamic is inherently the more assertive one.

Imps especially are very used to pursuing partners bigger than themselves. Sometimes it's a fetishized thing, sometimes it's simply how their love life unfolds. And just because their partners are larger in size doesn't mean they will bend over backwards, as they (most) tend to be defensive and not acquiesce so easily to someone who wishes to make them entirely placid.

You would be loved and appreciated as a bottom by all the imps here. That being said, some might take more visible enjoyment out of this:

Nena. Oh when she's done sweating bullets around you, she's going to fucking ruin your giant ass. You'll never see Nena smile the same way she does when you're on your knees in front of her, it's a totally different expression on her sweet little face. In public, it most definitely seems as if you're in control of everything, but Nena is subtly pulling the strings to most events.

Rei. You think he didn't sniff the bitch in you immediately?! Get real, Rei regularly folds over fans of his that are three times his size. You're not even that tall! And guess what, he's still picking you up, he's still throwing you on that bed, and your weak little human ass can't do shit to stop him, girlie.

Flints. He doesn't need to make any sudden movements or raise his voice to have you crumbling. Much like many others, he's got an eye for this, and studying a bit of your body language, your mannerisms, was all it took for Flints to lock on. He enjoys making you squirm with curt sentences and watching you try to remain composed around him.

Jayde. Jayde loves a pretty girl. A tall, thick girl with nice legs? You have him by the dick. He's going to chase after you madly, and though he's a switch at heart, Jayde will very easily adapt to your lack of dominant drive. It works out great, he gets a fix from this too.

Rieba, the tallest of the imps so far. She's full of frustrations, getting to take it out sexually on a partner bigger than her is cathartic. Although she's capable of great gentleness, she clearly enjoys having someone a lot more manageable to take care of, someone who appreciates her.

#Nena oc #Rei oc #Jayde oc #Flints oc #Rieba oc

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doodlebeeberry · 10 months ago

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your my Amelia mutual, so amelia for the ask game :]

yaaaaay fucked-up candle enjoyers make some noise!!!

How I feel about this character: I am Amelia lover #1 four years running for a reason, shes great!! i find her just really fascinating, how in particular the line is between her life on the plane and off it, how she copes with being stuck there, her relationship to her own identity, the ways she steps up when airy vanishes in ep8 and how she reacts when he comes back--to what degree is that reaction built on the fear that now she'll have to return home someone completely new? shes just so interesting to me, i like her alot :]

All the people I ship romantically with this character: not many really! im a bit of an aroace amelia fan, however i wont say no to some good scentdapack. as well i think charmelia is also pretty fun, particularly if it written as something that springs up on almost out of desperation the plane and fizzles out back on earth (sorta inverse to my preffered scentdapack dynamic lol)

My non-romantic OTP for this character: scentdapack and charmelia of course, however i am also a super big fan of sodascent. I think their friendship devoid of liam, given the place he holds in the narrative relative to them, is really fun to explore! not to mention how polar opposite they are in their mentalities in relation to the plane. I eat it up

My unpopular opinion about this character: see now I dont know how 'unpopular' this is as an opinion, but I do think they kinda fumbled the bag on her/garrett's investigations ep. I understand wanting to keep up the mystery around her earth life, the way the narrative forces that upon her is fun in one! however for investigations it just feels a bit...much, idk. like the concept that shes just like 'wreathed in mystique' or whatever normally kind of ruins the fun of her downward spiral in the show a little for me. I think we did need to get something a little more personal for that episode to work, but for the time being i choose to interpret it (baselessly) as her just not being particularly close with her manager specifically (which i think is more understandable)

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: more screentime in general, of course, but in terms of more specific things I wish she couldve met airy face to face. I think seeing that shes just some guy wouldve made her brain explode more-so than it did w liam. it wouldve been fun i think. as well i wish we couldve seen what her waiting room looked like when she shattered in ep 1, particularly if we could get the chance to see it again some time later on as a point of comparison, really driving home how her mentality has changed over time. and cause im curious.

#see now what they REALLY should do is put her in a time loop. prime groundhog day candidate right there #ask #ask game #hfjone #honoured to be the amelia mutual she is just So :]

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starheirxero · 1 year ago

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I JUST WATCHED THE TRIPLE LORE-

OH MY GOD. OH. MY. GOD.

I AM FLABBERGASTED- I AM SHOOKETH-

I AM CURRENTLY ACENDING INTO THE HEAVENS ABOVE-

I CANNOT EXPRESS ENOUGH, HOW MUCH I ADORE TRAGEDIES AND HEAVY ANGST- I LOVE, SEEING THE CHARACTERS FALL APART. I LOVE, WATCHING THEM LOSE THEMSELVES. I LOVE WATCHING, AS THEY LOOK INTO THE MIRROR, UNABLE TO REGOGNIZE THEMSELVES. I LOVE SEEING THEM LOSE THEIR MORALITY. I LOVE, SEEING CHARACTERS BREAK. I LOVE, WATCHING THEM SUFFER AND CHANGE THROUGH IT. EVERY DAMN STORY MADE UP IN MY HEAD TURNS INTO A TRAGEDY-

I AM ON MY KNEES- I AM BLESSED, MY HEART HAS BEEN TORN INTO MILLIONS OF PIECES-

THIS WAS SO CHILLING, IN SO MANY GREAT WAYS.

MOON HAS COMPLETELY LOST HIMSELF. THE CHILL THAT WENT DOWN MY SPINE!!

THE WAY HE JUST STOPPED, REALIZING THAT HE DOESN'T CARE, THAT HE LOST EVERY BIT OF CARE HE HAS FOR EARTH-

EVEN MORE SO??? HE BURNED HER. SHE WAS THE ONLY ONE SHOWING SIGNS OF PAIN, SHE WAS THE ONLY ONE CRUMBLING.

RUIN WAS FINE. BLOODMOON KEPT SPOUTING AND CACKLING.

EARTH WAS THE ONLY ONE HURT. SHE WAS THE ONLY ONE AFFECTED-

HER ENTIRE LEFT SIDE HURTS WITH EVERY MOVEMENT! This is so fucked up, oh god… OH GOD-

Moon's entire existence revolved around his family, and now? He almost killed his sister. He didn't even care. Quite literally just told her "Oh well"!

Even though he aimed to kill Bloodmoon, she's the injured one… God, I can't even describe, how much this fucks me up…

To be honest? A part of me wants these burns to be permanent. A consequence and reminder of Moon's action. A physical reminder, why he will never be forgiven, and him and Earth will never be close again.

And a part of me hopes, it turns Earth colder. That it becomes something, that changes her. After all, this was her brother. A person, she trusted dearly. And now? She sees him the same way as she does her father. Something that he acknowledged, but yelled at her for.

And now? He's occupying some place in space, though the question would be: how long? Last time someone floated in the void, Dark Sun swept him up and put something devastating in his head.

AND OH GOD, BLOODMOON'S DEAD- HE WAS DISINTEGRATED ATOM BY ATOM-

EVEN WORSE?? I THINK, HE WANTED THIS. HE KEPT TELLING THEM TO DO IT, MOCKING THEM, PROVOCATING. MAYBE HE WANTED THEM TO KILL HIM, SO HE CAN BE WITH HIS BROTHER AGAIN. MAYBE, LIFE ISN'T WORTH LIVING WITHOUT A WEIGHT AND VOICE INSIDE HIS HEAD-

There were in general so many things that were said about the twins, about the way they work. Ruin never created them with bloodlust. It was never part of their programming to begin with.

Did their old selves have it at all? Was it so deep in their code, that it was invisible to anyone else? Or was their something else driving them this entire time?

And what made the new version so bloodthirsty? Was it simple enjoyment? Was it their memories?

Speaking of which- RUIN IS FUCKING BACK- HE IS A FREE MAN ONCE MORE!!!

I am so damn excited what his journey will lead to- He's such a fascinating character!!

You've already pointed it out, but the way he tried to comfort Earth is so interesting! It seems that Eclipses flock to her, in some way!

And of course, Puppet. Oh god, Puppet. They used up all their magic, to the point of a breakdown…

All of this seems so convenient. All of this feels odd, as pointed out by Ruin and Puppet both.

Could this all be part of Dark Sun's scheme?

Furthermore, could he be the reason, Moon snapped? Could he have planned it?

There's so many questions rotating in my brain!!

I am sticking with it as my favorite arc-

-Stardust

YEHAYSUAYHAHAYAYAYA!!!!!!! I'M A FEW DAYS LATE TO THIS SO NOW THERE'S EVEN MORE TRAGEDY NOT MENTIONED IN UR ASK BUT [SHAKES YOU] ALL OF THIS!!!!!!!!

there is SO MANY LEVELS OF WILDLY FASCINATING AND HEARTBREAKING BEING PRESENTED HEREEEE!!!!!! EVERYTHING'S IN SHAMBLES. EVERYONE'S HURT TO SOME DEGREE. THINGS JUST KEEP TUMBLING MORE AND MORE DOWNHILL AND IM SO EUWBSIHAHAHAAAAAAA IM SO YAY YAY YAY YIPPEEEEEE!!!!!!!

YYEHSYEGS MOON BURNED EARTG!!!!! I'M STILL NOT OVER THAT. HE HURT HER THE WORST!!! AND YEHSYEYYSS GHOOOODDD I KNOW THEY PROBABKLY WON'T WORK IT INTI THE MODEL BUT EARTH WITH BURN SCARS FOREVER AFTERWARDS PLEEEEAASSSSEEEEEEE

AND MOON NOW YEAH. THAT'S SO WILD TO ME HE JUST GOT STRAIGHT UP BANISHED. AND UR PREDICTION WAS SPOT ON DARK SUN IMMEDIATELY GIT HIS HANDS IN HIM..... TOOK SOMETHING OUT TOO IM SO AHSJSBDJSN

AND GHOD YEAH BLOOSMOON IS JUST. DEAD NOW. FOR REALS. It all happened so fast I can't EVENNN. HONESTLY I WAS THINKING THE SAME THING THO, HE SEEMED DESPERATE FOR A FIGHT, TO BE KILLED. I 100% also attributed it to him not knowing how to function with his twin and just deciding to go full recklessness. AND WHAT RUIN DROPPED ABT HIS CODE OMS YEAH.

I won't lie it's both kind of hilarious 2 me to me that Bloodmoon 2.0 just decided that being a murderer is fun as shit, but also kind of a relief bc it explains a LOT. Or, well, like. One detail but STILL SKABDJDM

The way I heard it, Ruin was basically going "yea the og had the kill code but I couldn't get my hands on that, so I just did the next best thing, but it's entirely up to them to actually obey it." yk?? Which!!! Is a solid explanation for why OG Bloodmoon expressed frustration with his code before he died, but why Bloodmoon 2.0 had no issues with it. because they were doing that shit for funsies HEJHAJDHS

AND RUIN AND PUPPET YAYAYAYYA I'm so wildly fascinated by their short interaction + I am so intrigued to see what'll happen to them!!!! Dark Sun's involvement in everything has me terribly fascinated and I can't wait to see every thread he may or may not be pulling. its justqhaAHSJAHSJ ITS ALL SO EXCITINGGGG WEEEEEEEE!!!!!

#asks #anon #stardust anon #I LOVE THE HORRORSSSSS YAYYYYY WEEEEE YIPPPEEEEEE ^_^#amen for things getting worse. and now a toast for things getting even MORE terrible for the characters <3 #sun and moon show #tsams #lunar and earth show #tlaes #long post #very long post

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martian-hermit · 1 year ago

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On the topic of The Bear again, the more I learn about Carmy, the more I find myself relating to him in multiple ways. I recognize that isn’t necessarily a good thing, but interesting to talk about regardless.

The most relatable thing about Carmy for me is the fact that he is apprehensive about allowing himself to enjoy things or indulge in anything fun because he’s scared of it being ruined. While it’s super depressing, it’s unfortunately an extremely relatable part of his character. The saying “all good things must come to an end,” once being words of wisdom eventually became a warning to me because of a lot of enjoyable things in my life being tainted or entirely destroyed has caused a sort of subconscious apprehension to joy. Obviously Carmy’s reasons for this and mine are different but the overarching idea is the same, I can’t allow myself to enjoy something because it’ll end horribly anyway. What’s worse is the effect that has on relationships of any kind. Simply withholding the feeling of happiness from yourself really shows to other people, and it’s a guaranteed way to end any relationship (platonic or otherwise) you ever have. It’s happened plenty of times, and it’s self sabotage, but you ultimately continue doing it because you feel safer.

Next major point of relatability I have to Carmy is his extreme awkwardness. He is exceedingly bad at articulating his emotions and even worse at conveying how he feels to people if he allows himself to do so at all. With all that, he usually just stays quiet. This is a part of his personality I unfortunately possess as well. My inability to convey my thoughts or emotions to people effectively leads me to simply avoid doing so entirely, and the way I talk to people often comes off as dismissive because I am absolutely horrible in conversation. The biggest consequence of having a major character flaw like this is that you often internalize everything, from every thought you couldn’t pitch in conversation to all of the things you bottle up despite desperately wanting to connect with people, you’re prone to outbursts. Thankfully mine are nowhere near as drastic as Carmy’s, but they definitely exist. While it could be cathartic in the moment, it’s absolutely devastating to see the effects afterward.

Lastly, it’s not as specific as the others above, but it’s more about the general state of Carmy’s social life and why I feel for him because I’ve got a similar issue. Carmy’s stated in the show that he never had relationships and he just had less and less friends as time went on, which hits extremely close to home for me. While I have had a relationship in the past and that’s not the same between Carmy and me, the having less friends over time is absolutely true. It’s a pretty typical experience to have short lived friend groups throughout school, but you still have friends regardless. Most people graduate and still have friends from high school or college that they keep around, and sometimes make friends through mutual friends or through work. I used to have friends, but over time my group got smaller and smaller until there was no one. As Carmy states at Al-anon, “the more people I cut out, the quieter my life got.” Only difference is I didn’t cut people out, but they cut me out, which is devastating. On top of all that, Carmy ruins his relationship with Claire because of his rambling about how he thinks their relationship was a waste of time. Sometimes I feel the same way about the last person I was genuinely interested in being around, but mostly regretful about ruining it. Ultimately, another really shitty aspect of Carmy’s character that I unfortunately relate to deeply.

I think the relatability of his character is one of the biggest reasons why I really loved the show. And despite Carmy often being a complete ass, I still root for him a lot. Because I don’t wanna see him worse off or to fail because if I can see him succeed, it feels like encouragement, like someone’s telling me “if someone you relate to and are similar to can improve and succeed, so can you.” It’s really powerful stuff, especially when you listen to his monologue. You feel for him, and if you’re unfortunate, you relate to him. And maybe that’s why Carmy is one of the most influential characters in fiction I’ve ever seen. It’s because there’s multiple parts of his character that I have personally. I felt called out by some of the shortcomings Carmy has, and that was a huge wake up call.

#the bear #the bear fx #carmy berzatto #carmy the bear #carmen berzatto #jeremy allen white #fictional characters #relatable characters #easily one of the best characters of all time #especially because he’s massively inspiring

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wellhalesbells · 1 year ago

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Best of 2024 - Q1(ish)

✨✨ I forgot I told myself I was going to start doing this this year. A few people I follow do kind of a 'best of' thing and since I forget everything that happens almost immediately I thought: hey, that's a good idea for you, you should do that. So here I am with it sorta on time-ish \o/ ✨✨

Books

The Warm Hands of Ghosts, Katherine Arden. I tend to go into books with very little to no idea of what they're about (on purpose) so absolutely everything here was a surprise in the very best way. If I could've directed it, I would've directed it in exactly this way!

Voyage of the Damned, Frances White. This was such a lovely surprise?? I'm really enjoying these cross-genre books and this has to be the one that absolutely nailed both the best. It's a fantasy murder mystery and both are very involved - the world-building is excellent and the murder mystery is fun and terrifying in the best way!

Remarkably Bright Creatures, Shelby Van Pelt. I love books that like people, that prize connection, and that want to build community. Basically books that remind me that people are generally good and willing to try and that's this! Plus: octopus!

Empire of the Damned, Jay Kristoff. Empire of the Vampire was one of my favorite reads in 2022 (when I read it) and the sequel definitely lived up to its predecessor. The story is so compelling and the characters are so impossible not to fall in love with. Happily, this did not suffer from middle book syndrome: so much happened and so much moved forward.

Dinner on Monster Island, Tania de Rozario. I took this out at the library on a whim - it was available and it had a cool cover so I was in. I learned so much. I knew next to nothing about Singapore so everything to do with that blew my mind and Tania de Rozario's voice is wonderful, not to mention she connects so much of her life and surroundings to horror movies and that is a touchstone that I have in spades.

I should also special mention Howl's Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones, which I adored.... though it did completely ruin the movie for me (which I had also never seen and watched a few days later), haha. Sophie is the catalyst for absolutely every single thing that happens in the book and Howl is useless and dramatic without her and to see her be so very ineffectual in the film (and have things that happened because of her be taken away from her) while Howl was so powerful was like.... wha??? It was beautiful animation but... yeah. And Stardust by Neil Gaiman, which was so enjoyable! It has that irreverent, this-might-as-well happen humor that I love in fantasies.

Comics/Mangas/Manhwas/Etc.

On of Off, Vols. 1-3, by A1. Um. Can I just say that I love when one of the characters in a queer couple is a big huge dude? I don't know, a few years ago a switch got flipped in my head and size difference is now VERY MUCH A THING for me. I don't really want a small dude, I just want a big huge dude and a normal-sized man. (Or a big huge woman and a normal-sized woman - see Cosmoknights, which.... I'm realizing now probably had something to do with the switch and its aforementioned flippiness) Voila! I also like when the big huge dude is like: I'm not really that into it and then falls hardcore in love and has a dramatic: "What in the actual fuck just happened?" moment. This and The Dangerous Convenience Store have that exact dynamic and I cannot stress enough I could read it 100,000 more times and not get tired of it.

Saga, Volume 11, by Brian K. Vaughan. Just bring back Marko. Like, just do it. Every time it teases me with it, I want it more. Bring him back, gimme, I want. I remain in love with this series but, crap, does it just want to rip my heart out every chance it gets.

The Other World's Books Depend on the Bean Counter, Volume 4, Kazuki Irodori. This is my shit. It's a fantasy world that a completely ordinary corporate worker is sucked into and he ends up entirely reorganizing the structure of their accounting department so it a) actually functions and b) is accountable (ha). However, he has no resistance to "magicules" and the best way to acclimate him to all the magic that constantly surrounds him is for him to have sex with a very attractive soldier. Like, that's just brilliant writing is what that is, no notes. I love it, it wins all the things. (It's based on a novel that they only just began releasing in English and the comic is the superior version for me at this moment in time.)

Cherry Magic!, Vols. 9-10, by Yuu Toyota. I cannot believe I'm still so invested despite the fact that the original hook for this manga has disappeared and it's essentially just a very domestic, slice of life story now but it's just so nice to see them both happy and married and together?? So the original plot of this was there's essentially some old wives' tale that if you're a virgin at thirty you get magic powers. Cue Adachi turning thirty and he can suddenly read people's minds when he touches them and finds out through this power that his coworker, Kurosawa, is in love with him. It's a really cute, fun series and I am happy for it to go on forever. (Also, they made an anime out of it this year and it's stupid cute. There is also a live action series that I haven't watched yet.)

Therapy Game Restart, Vols. 1-3, by Meguru Hinohara. So, Minato is pile of endless insecurities in a trenchcoat and Shizuma is his confused but calm partner and it turns out I am really into that? Consistently surprised by how much I am into that but I am, in fact, into that.

Special mention to The Third Ending by Chobom - I really hope this is getting an official printing at some point because I am in love with it and I will buy the fuck out it (the fact that it's behind a digital paywall right now is the only reason this isn't number one). It is so exactly, specifically to my tastes it's ridiculous. So the idea here is Joon confesses his feelings to Yoonseul in high school, when he doesn't know him too well but likes what he sees, and Yoonseul turns him down a little harshly (he was mad at someone else and was a little less careful with his words than he would've been otherwise). Yoonseul starts having bad days on nights when he dreams of that memory and the two meet again and start hanging out so Yoonseul can assuage his conscience. They become really close friends and they end up drunkenly kissing, Yoonseul knows it's a mistake and Joon overhears him talking about it to a friend and how much he regrets it. Joon confesses his feelings again and Yoonseul, again, turns him down because he can't imagine anything physical happening between them. That should be the end of it. Except, very slowly, Yoonseul realizes he is completely in love with Joon and he's fucked this thing up to high heaven. Cue my absolute FAVORITEST dynamic - the chasee becoming the chaser.

Fisk (s1-2), Netflix. This is an Australian comedy about probate lawyers and if you're on the fence about it watch the episode with the Popovitches (season 1, episode 3). I very nearly peed my pants.

Only Murders in the Building (s3), Hulu. Okay, I'm a big fan of musicals and it's not a love I indulge very often so when I do watch them, I tend to get way too into them. (Yes, I bought this album immediately.) I adored this season and I adored Howard - making him a series regular was ingenious.

The Righteous Gemstones (s3), Max. This season was so good. This show in general is so freaking good but I really loved this season. This family is so genuinely fucked up but to get to the last episode and have them rise to the occasion and figure out their brand of love was so satisfying. And I do adore that they tried to copy other functional families they saw before realizing that was just never going to work for them.

Mr. Villain's Day Off (s1), Crunchyroll. Okay, I love this manga and the show is so exactly this manga. Like, I've reblogged a ton of shot for shot comparisons so when I say 'same,' I mean 'same.' The entire idea is this monstrous alien bent on destroying the world enshrines his days off with reverence and diligence - he's just a normal guy, obsessed with pandas, who's only evil at work, thank you very much. It's just so silly and weirdly heart-warming?

Girls5Eva (s3), Netflix. There's something about Renee Elise Goldsberry for me that is magnetic. I love everything about her, I love getting to watch her do comedy, I love hearing her sing, I love her character. Also, the singing? I've mentioned how I am weak for the singing, yes?? (Yes, I have these albums too.)

Minx (Starz) was also really, really good but I wish it hadn't been canceled prematurely! It definitely wasn't finished, y'know, and it was so unfortunate to end it with Doug on the wrong side of things - I want to see the resolution, dammit!

Movies

The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent (2022). I haven't laughed at a movie like this in a long time. I've watched it twice so far this year; I went home two weeks ago and made my dad watch it with me and tears were streaming down our faces by the end. Pedro Pascal should never not be doing comedy because he was made for it.

Bottoms (2023). This is so exactly my sense of humor? The ridiculousness of this was just *chef's kiss* Also more Ayo Edibiri in everything.

Talk to Me (2022). I had been waiting for this movie to get onto some streaming platform so I could watch it and I think the best compliment I could give it is that I wanted to watch it again the next day. Great horror, great resolution!

John Wick 4. I expected this to feel so long and bloated and yet it didn't at all. I was invested the whole time and I think it helps that I watch action films, like, once every three years so these feel like fun little treats more than anything.

Nate Bargatze: The Tennessee Kid. There's a joke in here that I relate to so hard it's almost embarrassing. Talking about ordering coffee, he goes: "If you could just do whatever you think it is and if it's wrong, I won't even tell you, how about that, I will walk out of here as if that's exactly what I ordered. I will go outside, I will throw it away, and go try again at a different Starbucks." That is exactly how I would handle that and this entire special is filled with that. I giggled so hard.

Also, special mention to Taylor Tomlinson's specials Look at You and Have It All. I love how honest she is on stage and how open she is with her audience. It's rare to have that and I think it feels so special because it is.

See you all again in Q2 (ish, probably, lbr) *salutes*

#ummm don't read or watch illegally *wink wink*#but do utilize your local library!#since i don't have a legal way i read the third ending i didn't link it lolol #but here it is the #best of the best #(for me specifically)#2024 #also all the streaming platform things are us-based so sorry if i lead you to something that doesn't exist there for you :(

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ofbrokendreams · 2 years ago

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Everything, everywhere, all at once

This is just a silly little future fic. I just threw all of my ideas into a pot after bingeing The Bear Season 1 (multiple times). Its 10.9 k words total. Its pretty much stream of consciousness because I'm undecided if I'll come back to it later and flesh it out into a real fic. That being said I'm apologizing early for grammar, abundance of commas and general lack of a time line. Hopefully this will bring someone enjoyment and amusement.

Part one is 5.3 k words.

Part two

Part Three

I'll probably cross post this on AO3 at some point. (I did it.)

TW: cursing, discussions of sex, discussions of abuse, discussions of mental health, discussions of drug use, discussion of suicide, depiction panic attack, pregnancy (let me know if I missed anything)

GIF by starryyshadows

EXPO DATE

Sydney walks into The Bear. Service in full swing, full dinner rush with a packed FOH.

Carmy’s at expo running tickets and the count and he’s got an ear out for troubles.

Sydney calls out his name: “Chef. Carm. Carmy. Carmen!” Before he finally answers and glances at her.

His brain stalls out. He called her five times, he texted her SOS. But she’s-

“What are you wearing?” Is the first thing out of his mouth. Taking in the short expensive looking dress and high heels Syd is wearing.

“What the fuck does it look like I’m wearing?” Syd asks with a huff. Carmy shakes his head and gestures toward the line.

“Why is my restaurant not on fire?” She asks and Carmy stares at her. “What the fuck are you talking about?” “SOS, five fucking calls? What am I talking about? I took the night off! So why isn’t this place burnt to the fucking ground?” “I-I”

He looks away for a moment as a dish is set down and then back to where Syd was but she’s gone. Carmy goes back to his work calling out “Hands!”

“Give me your jacket,” Sydney demands at his elbow, heels gone and replaced with her Birkenstocks. Carmy stares at her but she gestures for him to hurry up. “Mine’s at home, this is a $300 vintage dress, give me your fuckin-“ he cuts her off with a harsh sigh but does trade her his jacket for the apron in her hand.

They stand side by side for a minute, hands working on auto pilot as Sydney catches up.

“We needed you. Where were you?” “I was on a fucking date, Carmen.”

Syd takes over expo and shoos Carmy away. When he doesn’t leave immediately Sydney snaps. “Get the fuck away from me, go, please go do something else.”

Carmy goes, checks on everyone and then he’s on the line because their down three chefs and that’s the whole reason he called Syd in and its a long fucking night.

After service when it’s just the two of them left Carmy apologizes for calling so many times, ruining her night off. Sydney apologizes for snapping at him.

Carmy mentions, “I didn’t know you were dating.” Syd nods but doesn’t look at him.

“I have to…I have to have a life, you know? Get a life. Outside of this place? I can’t…I can’t resent it. I love The Bear and I want to keep loving it.”

“No, thats, that’s totally reasonable.” Carmy nods and Syd smiles. And Carmy’s heart beats erratically. Because he’s losing her.

He’s fucking losing her and he never even had her.

And he’s confused because she’s so amazing and beautiful. And he’s himself and how could he think-

He remembers the first time she walked into The Beef and his heart beat like this, ‘oh no she’s pretty’, and all other thought left his mind. And he was asking about UPS like it was a fucking restaurant despite holding her well crafted resume in his hands. But then there was months of work and screaming and quitting and tomato money and The Bear and project managing and baby Mikey and Claire and fucking off and fucking up over and over.

He has no right to be jealous, Sugar is quick to remind him when he slowly carefully brings it up a couple weeks later. A quick “Pete out,” and they’re alone in her living room. “You’ve had a girlfriend, Bear. Doesn’t Syd get that too? She’s better at this shit. We both know she won’t fuck off like you did.” And it’s so harsh and vulgar and not like Sugar, though it reminds him of ‘did you know I recently had a brother die too’ and it’s gnarly in that same way that cuts him to the quick. So he laughs and nods.

“But like…think about it, Bear, your feelings, yeah?” And Carmy nods knowing he won’t. That he’ll push whatever this is down and away, far away from where it might touch Syd, taint her with whatever fucks up Berzattos.

STAR CROSSED SOUL MATES

The Bear receives their star, two in fact in their first year.

And it’s Sydney, her drive, her dish that gets it for them.

He’s not surprised. He’s been doing everything he can to make the way for her but she’s paving it herself.

Its an honor, a fucking privilege to watch her rise, to watch her recognized.

He’s so crazy in love with her that he can’t imagine being jealous of her even though there’s a part of him that thinks he should be. Carmy’s always been competitive in the kitchen but with Sydney…he just wants to get as many spotlights on her as possible.

It’s strange but it’s how’s its always been. He’s never felt in competition with her but for a moment, that first review that horrible day and it had ended with her leaving The Beef, leaving him.

He thinks about how insanely lucky he is that she came back, that his offer ‘Family style? Two-tops, booths?’ Was answered with anything other than go fuck himself. Instead Syd had given instantly from that wonderful brilliant brain of hers, ‘Danish design’. Not a question.

She’s so talented and beautiful and creative and thoughtful and good, so good at what she does. He wants-needs everyone in their world to see it. To be so fucking jealous of him, of them, that he found her, they found each other.

All those other places that tried to stamp out her spark, fuck them, they’re shit compared to The Bear. Compared to the inferno that is Sydney working at full capacity, supported and challenged.

Nat’s the first to bring it up, texting him while he’s trying to think of how to bring it up to her.

Sugar: 11:57 pm; she needs to be a partner. Like a real one

Bear: 11:57pm; absolutely

When they bring it up on Wednesday before shift, the three of them huddled in the office. Syd shyly takes their praise but looks like she might cry when Nat explains that they are making her a part owner of The Bear. Sydney insists that she can’t pay for it but Carmy points out the sweat equity she put into the place. And Syd’s not sure if that’s even right, even how this works but Nat’s got documents from a lawyer, holy shit.

Uncle Jimmy says “Its about fucking fucking time Carm. Thought we’d lose her before you figured that shit out. You know why I said ‘I’m in’? Because you’re fucking talented and she’s fucking talented. And I love you, and you’re not starting from fucked this time. But I will, I will break your legs, Carm.”

And then Sydney’s got an arm full of Berzattos. And she’s really not a hugger but there’s nothing else to do in this case. No words to express how she feels. She’s family, they’re family and this is their place: their family restaurant but for real now.

The whole team parties at the restaurant on the Friday following the Michelin announcement.

Syd goes back to Carmy’s as its closer then taking the train back to her dad’s place.

Its like two in the morning and they have work in the morning.

When they get to the apartment they drunkenly make Mac and cheese. Laughing and cursing when they almost grate their knuckles. Carmy makes the sauce and Sydney’s cackling when he almost scalds it.

“First time?” Syd laughs dumping the cheese in and Carmy pushes her away from the stove. “Jesus Syd its gonna be all- fucked.” Carmy laughs and Syd just shrugs and drains the pasta.

Its good and lumpy like Carmy though but they’re both still to drunk to really care cause its good.

Cause they’re fucking good, they’re Michelin star chefs, “for real this time, you earned it”, Syd is quick to say when Carmy laughs at her. It sobers him up a little the realization.

Once full and sleepy they head to the couch, with Sydney falling backwards onto it by accident.

Carmy tries to grab her but she’s just giggling not hurt at all. He shakes his head and joins her, looking down at her every once and a while.

They sit side by side like that for a long time even though they should go to sleep. Watching old Good Eats episodes instead.

In a lull, Sydney asks Carmy if he believes in soul mates while pointedly not looking at him.

Carmy thinks for a good minute thinks about saying no right away. Then thinks harder. Thinks of Nat and Pete- Jesus. Then says “Ye-yeah I guess I do.”

Syd’s quiet for a while before saying quietly, “I think you’re my soul mate, Carmen.”

Carmy nods and takes a minute to answer. “I know you’re mine, Sydney.”

They don’t move other then to intertwine their fingers, and the angle is awkward like they are but its nice to hold each other’s hand.

He thinks about how she’s the coolest, lamest, kindest, meanest, funniest, smartest girl he’s ever had the privilege of knowing, of working with.

Thinks of how she probably thinks of him as a platonic best friend kind of soulmate.

He wonders if that’s what he meant. Platonic.

He imagines kissing Syd. He imagines touching Syd. He imagines fucking Syd. He imagines making her giggle and squirm and scream and beg. He imagines her holding him down while she rides him, her hands splayed out on his chest her fingers digging into his skin-

He’s going to hell. Like he already knows this but he’s really going to hell.

At some point Syd falls asleep and Carmy carries her to his bed before heading back to the couch. She grabs his wrist and softly asks him to stay with her, voice sleepy and thick. But he can’t deny her. He can never say no to her.

ENGAGEMENTS

Its been a long day, the longest day.

New chefs, new menu, old clients and old problems (Cicero) are plaguing Carmy and Syd.

Their still arguing: about Carmy not listening and Syd still being to impatient.

They take refuge for a few minutes behind the restaurant in the alley on the crates where they had their first heart to heart. Their team trusted enough to wrap up without supervision after the last ticket’s gone out.

Carmy’s smoking a cigarette and Syd’s scrolling but not concentrating on her phone.

He shouldn’t be thinking about it. He promised himself that he wouldn’t.

Promised himself that he wouldn’t cross that line. Wouldn’t taint her with whatever makes him turn shit to ash.

But-but-

It’s been like months since she mentioned going on a date or talking to a guy or a girl or anyone. And it’s been…fuck he’s such a piece of shit cause it’s been great for him.

He doesn’t know what makes him ask. Why his brain jumps to far ahead, skipping every fucking step but it’s what he does.

Makes a mess of things.

After a few minutes of silence Carmy clears his throat, “You wanna get married, Chef?”

Syd is quiet for a while, a long time it seems. “Yes, Chef. Someday.”

Carmy nods not looking at Syd, eyes on his shoes but not really seeing.

He says in a voice almost to quiet to hear, eyes shut tight now, “I meant to me.”

Syd stands and its a moment before Carmy feels fingers running through his hair, tugging slightly to make him look up. Sydney’s got an unreadable expression on her face but then she smiles, a little sadly but mostly fond.

“You really do need to learn to listen you know? I said ‘Yes, Chef’.”

“Heard, Chef.” Carmy replies, eyes following as Syd walks back into The Bear.

Carmy casually brings it up to Sugar. He doesn’t really mean to but it’s Monday, their day off, and they’re meeting for coffee and breakfast. He’s late having stopped at a store just before meeting her. “I think Syd and I are engaged.” “I-I didn’t know you were dating?” Carmy shrugs, shakes his head. “I kind of just asked her?” Sugar nods looks at Mikey in his stroller and sighs. “Let me see it.” She says and Carmy pulls the little red box from his pocket. She opens the box and then closes it and hands it back to him.

“Its good.” Is all she says before their waiter takes their order.

The next morning Syd comes in early and he’s in the office. He calls her over. “Hey can I get your help?” “Obviously.” Syd laughs joining him in the office.

He grabs the box and then stands behind her. “I just I need you to hold onto this for me, for a while okay?” He says arms going up and over her head. The gold band with the three small circular diamonds sparkling slightly in the harsh overhead light of their office.

Sydney’s heart stops she swears it stops but she reaches back to pull her long braids out of the way and he hooks the gold chain around her neck. She fingers the ring now laying on her chest and sighs. Turns around and grabs him by his hair pulling him into a heated messy first kiss.

BREAK UPS

Things are good for a while. Blissful even. They go to work, go to Carmy’s apartment, eat, make love, sleep, repeat.

Syd’s basically living at his place now spending one or maybe two nights a week at her dad’s place. She’s had a key to Carmy’s place since week two of this.

They laugh a lot and joke a lot, or Syd does and makes him smile and laugh and breathe.

And the sex. So much fucking sex. They’re both insatiable in their own way.

But nothing lasts forever.

Syd wants more, needs more. The ring that lays against her skin is like a fucking brand sometimes. It’s all she can think about but they never discuss it. Never even a fleeting question of courthouse or big party?

She does talk about the future though. Insists on it.

He’s her…fuck he’s hers right?

But it scares him. He shuts down when she casually mentions moving to the suburbs or having a kid or kids someday. Or if any of that is even something she wants. But it’s all her and he doesn’t join in just humming and nodding. But noncommittally. And it eats at her.

Sydney’s about fed up. She doesn’t know how she’s supposed to handle him anymore. She wants to be all in but he seems content to just be stagnant.

Outside of the restaurant all they seem to do is fight and ignore each other. They’re so in sync in the kitchen but so disconnected outside of it that it’s jarring. Every night, every phone call, every text is like a bucket of cold water.

Finally after another night of self-flagellation and non-apologies Sydney’s had it.

“I need you to love me more then you hate yourself, Carmen! Or-or this is never going to work.”

Carmy’s quiet for a while and then nods. Agreeing. “You’re right. I’m sorry, you’re right. I can’t-I’m not, you deserve better. You deserve more than this, then what I can give.”

Syd’s panicked as she realizes whats happening. She tries to stop him, to beg him to not do this but Carmy just continues talking over her.

“So you’re just…giving up? You won’t even consider that you could change? Get better, be better?”

“I-want more for you Syd, I want the world for you and I’m holding you back.”

Syd storms into his bedroom and begins packing her things. She wants to hit him but she won’t so she separates herself.

Carmy waits leaning back against his couch.

Not thinking about it. Not going over it.

Dissociating completely. Remembering how it felt in New York, going into work and he was a machine.

When Syd comes back out Carmy starts, “We need to talk about the restaurant.”

Syd scoffs, “Fuck you, Carmen.” “Its important-“ “We were important and you threw that all away.”

Syd leaves back to her dad’s place.

When he finally heads to bed, after standing at the front door for an hour, Carmy looks at the bedside table. There’s her ring on its gold chain and her key with its cheese keychain and-and the stupid fucking lighter she started keeping on her for him. For him.

This is right though. This is what he needs to do. For her.

She’s to special. He never should have…he messed up and she’s tainted now like he is, unhappy and wounded but she’s stronger than he’s ever been. She’ll bound back and stronger too, he’s no doubt about it.

When Carmy tells Sugar that they broke up she explodes. Demanding an explanation. When Carmy does his best to explain she explodes again. “You are the most selfish asshole I have ever met. I can’t-I’m so ashamed of you, Bear.”

When Carmy asks for her explain as to how and why, Sugar does explain although she doesn’t feel he deserves it. “Instead of listening, instead of doing some self reflection, getting help, going to therapy or something, working on yourself you’ve just decided to do nothing. To change nothing even though you’re hurting Syd.”

“I’m trying not to hurt Syd!” He defends but Sugar’s not having it. “You’re being a martyr. I know…I know you thought it would be you. In the ground by now but it’s not, you’re not dead and you’re not going anywhere. You need to start accepting that, you have a life and you need to live it. And your fucking actions have consequences.”

Its a lesson he’s thinks he’s been taught before with the same result, his selfishness hurting Syd (The Brigade, Claire)

“I don’t deserve her, Natalie.”

“You make-you make Syd happy, you make me happy. People love you, they care about you. And you can’t accept that and you push us all away. And it’s not fucking fair, Carmen. Don’t we deserve to have you? To really have you? We all love you so much and you just…you just reject everyone.”

Carmy stares at her as Mikey gnaws on Carmy’s knuckles, his chubby little fingers wrapped around the S and U tattooed on Carmy’s skin. Mikey looks up and smiles and Carmy thinks he understands.

At Sugar’s insistence Carmy contacts a therapist.

HELP WHEN NEEDED

Carmy’s first few therapy sessions go well. “What are you here for?” Terri asks kindly. And he stares then just starts speaking, “I um…own a restaurant, it used to be my brother’s restaurant, well it used to be my mother’s restaurant and my dad’s before he left. But my brother killed himself and he left it to me and I-I changed it, made it into our dream restaurant.” “That is a lot of changes in what I’m guessing is a short amount of time?” He nods and sighs, “I left home a while ago, just left and worked, I’m a-a cook. And I-my sister I just left her to deal with-with our mom, she’s not well,” and he gently taps his temple. “And Sugar, uh, Natalie, I-I left her to deal with her and-and Mike he was um- he was a drug addict, and I’m going to Al-anon but my sister she said, um one-on-one is better. And our dad was gone. And-and I was with my business partner for a minute and I’m so…I’m so fucking in love with her but I-I left her, I broke up with her because she-she asked me to do something I can’t do and she deserves so much, she’s so amazing and she deserves someone who can give her what she wants-what she needs.”

“What did she ask of you, Carmen?” “She uh- she asked me to love her more then I hate myself.” “And is that an unreasonable ask?” “No-it’s-it’s what Sugar’s been wanting me to do for years. But I can’t-I don’t-“ “I see, I think we should start there and I have a feeling much of the rest will fall into place.”

Carmy and Syd have an informal non-discussed truce at work. They avoid each other if possible but for the most part work well.

They do tend to argue more heatedly then ever before when discussing menu changes or really any change to the restaurant. Tina and Marcus discuss, “It’s like…this thing happened and neither of them can move past it or want this place to change past it.”

Richie calls Carmy out after witnessing a particularly rough back and forth. Carmy tells him to get lost but Richie won’t let it go. “This place only fucking works because of the two of you, together. At least for now, with how good she is we’ve only got Syd another year or two and we need her. You need her you fucking idiot.”

Carmy tries coming in early but Syd does the same thing. Alone in the office they hash out their professional issues. Both of them agreeing that they’re having a hard time changing things after the break up, it makes things feel to real.

They come to an understanding that things need to change, they have to keep going, for themselves, for the restaurant.

Syd laughs at how reasonable Carmy is. She says she’s proud of him.

He blushes and nods, “It’s mostly Terri.” “Who’s that?” Syd asks curiously. “My uh…my therapist.” Syd stares at him for a long minute before launching herself at him. He holds her tight as she squeezes him even tighter. They don’t speak but break apart when they hear Nat coming down the hall to the office. Syd’s grinning at him in this new way. He thinks it might be pride.

Carmy’s getting better. Working through his childhood, his parents (separately), his siblings (separately), his school years, his depression, self harm and avoidance, his years under psychotic chefs (New York especially), Claire and his lack of romantic relationships, his anger (“Ah I understand the nickname: Bear” Terri laughs gently when he explains how explosive he gets sometimes, how stubborn he can be) and Sydney, Sydney, Sydney.

Terri reminds him often that he can’t be doing this for Sydney.

“She may move on. May see other people, fall in love, get married, have a family, and you need to be okay with that. You need to get healthy for yourself.”

Carmy’s eighty percent sure if Syd found someone else to make her happy he’d be okay with it. If they treated her like the queen she is he could understand.

He’s not even sure how they got here. They’re sitting in their spot behind the restaurant. He’s got a cigarette in his fingers.

And he asks her, stupidly, about the future. And it’s gets a little heated but nothing to bad; they’re not at each other’s throats. Its like a real adult discussion. “It’s just…you were talking white picket fences and-and the American dream, 2.5 kids and a minivan-“ “You have like- you drive a mini van-” “And its just- that’s not me, and I wasn’t going to hold you back from your dreams. From what you want.” “I wanted you, Carmen. I wanted…any house in the suburbs I wanted because it would be our home. Any kids I wanted was because they would be our kids, your kid. I didn’t-I don’t…that’s what I wanted. I wanted us but you-you just decided for me, Carm. And-and that’s not fair, is it?” Carmy shakes his head and looks at her, watches her get up and walk back into The Bear.

He hadn’t ever considered that, that she might not be wanting the whole perfect family thing but just…a family with-with him.

So no, it wasn’t fair.

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

Carmy’s trying to be there for everyone more. Encouraging Marcus and Tina and Ebraheim and the freshman. Getting to know them like he knows the old crew. Getting to know the old crew even better.

The Bear is running better then he ever could have imagined. There are no quiet nights, they’re booked every night with a waiting list three weeks out. Both their food and their stars drawing customers in. They’re on track to pay Cicero back and Nat and baby Mikey are doing so well.

He and Syd have probably never been so in sync. They work out the spring menu in a couple of hours rather then the days they predicted before starting to test recipes. Even the things that don’t turn out inspire them.

They always test at the restaurant now, before shift or after. Never at his apartment like they used to and Carmy misses the closeness, the intimacy of it just being the two of them in his apartment. He doesn’t bring it up though.

Doesn’t dwell on it until Syd kind of invites herself over. She’s been texting him all morning on a Monday, all morning, about this new idea and she’s at the market now getting shit. And he just thumbs up her text then sends, “I’m out of creamer.” She shows up half an hour later laden with grocery bags and in one is her favorite coffee creamer.

It’s kind of a thing after that. They go back to his place after work almost every night to keep working. And Syd sleeps in his bed while he takes the couch. And it’s so close to normal.

And he’s fucked cause this should be normal but it’s not its really not.

Normal is holding her and kissing her and laughing at her mean jokes and making love to her until the sun is coming up and they both know they’ll say they regret it but they won’t.

But he keeps going in this new normal, what anyone else would say is normal, not kissing her.

It feels inevitable. One of their blow out fights. They both try to head it off, signing ‘I’m sorry’ early in service. Tina’s on her game, commanding the freshman but Marcus is losing focus. His sous is on it but they’re to busy for this. And Syd snaps and that’s not like her. Not at all. And poor Marcus is upset now and Syd’s apologizing but she’s flustered and making it worse almost. Carmy calls her back to expo and takes over with Marcus. Getting him out of the weeds. But then Carmy’s on Tina and Syd’s annoyed, cause Tina will fuck him up and it’s the last thing they need tonight. Syd doesn’t mean to but she calls him out, voice loud across the kitchen and they stare each other down. And when they meet in the walk-in the fight is so loud that the whole kitchen hears it. Somehow they’re able to keep on topic but they both know what it’s about. They’re yelling about the team but they’re really yelling about them. The tension between them has reached an unlivable level.

They don’t solve anything that night and when their five minutes are up in the walk-in they go back to work. Apologize to their staff and keep going.

They don’t talk about it for a few weeks. But then one night at Carmy’s Syd grabs his wrist when he retreats from his room, clothes to sleep in tucked under his other arm, from the dresser she insisted he buy while they were…while they were. “Can you…can you stay with me?” She asks and it’s so sweet and perfect and he wants to say no but can’t say no to her. So he nods and changes in the bathroom before going back to his bed-her bed and laying next to her.

They don’t touch. And nothing changes there. But they get back on even footing.

He’s out with Richie and Marcus and Sweeps and Fak and their newish boucher Roy. And it’s good. It’s nice even.

Carmy doesn’t go out. He doesn’t do hang outs. He rarely drinks because he’s always alone and that’s a state of depression he never wanted to walk himself into. But now surrounded by his employees turned friends and family he feels settled. Comfortable.

They get trashed. Absolutely hammered. And as they walk down the street, Marcus and Sweeps sing/rapping a song he vaguely recognizes from Sydney, Carmy thinks of Michael. Of both Michaels actually. Of his brother who cut him off before he could have these moments with him so he has them with Cousin instead. And of little Michael, and the idea runs though Carmy’s head, of years down the line of telling a very Michael-esque story to his nephew of this night and how Michael lives on like that. Thinks of picking the kid up early from school to get ice cream (will Sugar put him down as a trusted adult? He thinks she might). And two am phone calls when he’s at a high school party drunk and he won’t drive but “Uncle Carmy I’m in trouble” and he knows Sugar would kill them both. But Carmy here in Chicago its his how and Mikey’ll grow up with him and trust him and love him. And he’s his favorite uncle…his only uncle. And it’s getting away from him, his thoughts are.

And then they’re standing outside a well lit building. It’s stupid really it is but their hyping each other up and it’s just…really really stupid.

Syd’s at her dad’s for once since Carmy was going to be out all night.

Cousin’s on the couch and groans cursing when Carmy starts the coffee grinder in the morning.

They sit at his little dining table and sip their coffee and nibble at their bagels. Until Richie looks at Carmy strangely.

“What’s on your fucking neck?” “The fuck? How would I fucking know you-“There’s like plastic on your fucking neck, Cousin.” And Carmy drops his bagel as he remembers their last stop of the night.

He’s in his bathroom quickly and pulling the plastic off his throat.

Fuck

In thick black letters stark against his skin is ‘Sydney’.

“RIP, Cousin,” Richie snickers from the bathroom doorway. Carmy flips him off and then sighs turning his head. It’s really fucking on there.

Syd’s going to hold him down and cut it off or maybe he’ll get lucky and she’ll just book him a tattoo removal appointment.

She doesn’t do either. It’s a Monday he thinks, good, it gives her a whole day to fume and get over it. She comes over after Richie leaves around noon. All bubbly and happy taking about this little butcher she found and they’re to small to use as a vendor but they have cool cuts and she’s thinking.

It takes her a minute to notice Carmy still on the couch. “Yo Carm-the fuck is that?” She stops, leans against the arm of the couch, fingers digging into the fabric.

“Look, we got really fucking drunk last night. And hit up some shitty tattoo place. And-and Marcus got this huge pink donut on his fucking thigh and-and I got this.” He gestures vaguely at his neck.

And then he suddenly got a lap full of Sydney. Laughing and cooing at him. “You fucking loser! You got my fucking name on your neck! What the hell were you thinking Carm?” But she’s grinning and her hands are in his hair and she’s more amused then angry. And she’s so fucking beautiful, he can’t help but lean up and kiss her, she kisses him back and it good. It’s right.

It’s perfect.

They’re so caught up that it seems the most natural thing in the world for them to spend the rest of the afternoon on Carmy’s couch. Fucking in every position they can get each other into.

They make dinner after a hour nap and sit at his little dining table. And they don’t talk about it. They don’t talk about it and they don’t repeat it.

#the bear #carmy x sydney #sydcarmy #syd x carmy #sydney adamu #carmen berzatto #the bear fanfiction #the bear fanfic #the bear fic

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cresent971 · 2 months ago

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Here is Michael Jackson with some black cat next to him every time I see these pictures of him it warms my heart one thing I will not tolerate is people mistreating this man like garbage what has he done to deserve this crap you assholes seem to take enjoyment out of ruining someone's life for your own satisfaction leave this man alone already he hasn't done anything to anyone why are you assholes degrading this man and making him feel like shit you assholes need a nasty wake-up call and a violent reality check I'm not in the mood for this madness neither am I about to waste my time with this shit you dumbasses need a Brutal wake up call I'm tired of this shit you assholes need to grow up as well and stop acting immature for fuck sake what a fuckin useless way of saying I'm an ignorant fuckin prick who takes the brunt out of making someone's life a living nightmare for them in general why am I not surprised anymore you assholes need to give it a rest and quit causing a ton of problems as well I'm not going to deal with this nightmare anymore you assholes have proved to me how much you dumbasses can take someone's happiness and fuckin burn it to the ground and act like dumbasses grow the fuck up for once I'm not a happy woman anymore what a stupid way of saying I'm a incompetent dickhead who takes the joy out of making someone's life hell and making them suffer you assholes better count your days and blessings I've warned you dumbasses already appearntly you idiots will not learn or adhere to anything anyone tells you anything be prepared fuck faces you're fuckin time is coming count your days you dumbasses I'm not in the mood for this crap you assholes are finished you were warned already I'm tired of warning you assholes over and over again fuck you dumbasses i hope you pieces of shit get it big time I'm done warning you assholes all the time you fuck faces are screwed I'm done warning you dumbasses already have fun getting it when that time comes

#music #pop music #michael jackson #king of pop

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msfbgraves · 11 months ago

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Anon just discovered your blog, and I completely agree with you that Cobra Kai tears down everything the 1984 Karate Kid stood for.

But the problem is, to some extent, this is what fandom culture has always done. Fandom was created, in the first place, to tear down the values of older generations in hopes that newer and hopefully kinder values would replace them. Star Trek, the first fandom, was a potshot at older generations' values, promoting its own vision of a utopian society.

Even the original Karate Kid tore down the values of mainstream American society so that an "underdog" like Daniel LaRusso could win.

The problem is, now fandom is tearing down OUR values as we once tore down the values of older generations. Cobra Kai is doing the same thing to us that Karate Kid did to previous generations: it's tearing down everything we stand for, in hopes that their own values will replace us.

I love the original Karate Kid movie trilogy as much as you do, and I share your frustration with the Cobra Kai series. But unfortunately, while the "opinions" of fandom have changed, its basic nature has not.

That's why protesting against fandom never changes anything: because to some degree, fandom is acting the same as it always has. It's just that now we're on the other end of this behavior, when it used to be done in our favor.

Would that this were fandom, Nonnie. It would be easy to ignore, agree to disagree, move on. If I got myself in a twist over every fandom take I disagree with, I would welcome your cautioning me, really. But I feel that this situation is different for several reasons:

Trek, as far as I'm aware (not very), was an original work. To which I say, have at it. Whatever your beliefs, go write them down, I'm very free not to engage with it. And I don't mind if an original work is a very thinly veiled spinoff. If they'd have written The Kung Fu Kid with evil Miyagi and a character named Johnny Lawless who defeats insufferable Daniel Nero with the power of Real Manhood, good luck to them. This happens all the time. Doesn't stop my enjoyment in any way. Rick &Morty is Back to the Future fic, and indeed its point is that Back to the Future needs revision perhaps? Or not. Wasn't really for me. But it's not officially a continuation, so no harm done. I don't have to re-evaluate those films because Rick&Morty exists, it doesn't affect the franchise, not officially.

Cobra Kai on the other hand very strongly suggests that it's canon. And if you want to piggyback on a built-in audience, the message of the original, the events shown in the original, you're not free to ignore. Again, it's not even a remake! And then to presume you can retroactively change the message of a classic because you don't agree with it is audience betrayal. What inbuilt audience would agree to sit down to a series that said: you know that piece of media you love? Well you're wrong. It is SHIT. And I am going to show you why, if I have to change the original story to make that point. No, they've actively misled the audience. And that hurts people. Mark Hamill was pissed at how they've ruined Luke Skywalker in Star Wars VIII. Because that's not fandom, that's forcing your own reading on something that isn't yours. I agree that fandom does this, too, but that is by consent of those engaging with it. This series may be born of fandom, but it's a hijacking, a sactioning of a viewpoint that undermines a bond between film and audience. And now the viewpoint: you're all suckers and your comfort character is a criminal is officially part of the story. It's simply not right.

Thirdly, these values aren't new. They're conservative for the 1970's. This is backlash. True, history isn't linear, and backlash is part of life. But I disagree with the notion that there is anything innovative in the viewpoint that violence is a good idea, adult women only exist to support men,there has to be a strict gender binary in sports, only conventionally attractive women should be on the show and full body shots of young women lounging in the sun, with no narrative context, is somehow not exploitative. And before anyone asks, I don't mind watching Jacob Betrand and Tanner Buchanan with their shirts off, but that is as objectifying and cheap. "Look! We're exploiting boys, too", doesn't feel like progress.

And I know I'm simply yelling at clouds here, with no use other than that it makes me feel better. That's why I'm tagging most of this only with ck negativity, so that anyone who doesn't want to look at it can block the tag and continue life unbothered by my ranting. I don't want to spoil people's fandom fun in the cobra kai tag.

#ck negativity #thanks for asking!

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ask-dottore · 2 years ago

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Heyy Dottore, in Sohreh’s letter she said “you seemed attracted by the ancient machines”. Does that mean you are into robots or something? Not that I’m kink shaming👀

Greetings, dear anonymous test subject.

Sohreh... The wretched girl that never fails to torment me... She's even haunting me from beyond the grave now as it seems! That finch! (Yes, I meant to curse but her name also literally means finch so... Yeah.)

Yes. I am very much interested in ancient machines-

A kink you say?!!! Now, was it Sohreh who made it sound like there was something... "Intimate"... About me and my machines or was it your interpretation?

It is truly disturbing, for I have this recurring nightmare on this very subject:

As you can see, this is the nightmare. I've been wondering what it means for years now... I suppose it merely means that I'm married to my work, and part of my work, the most enjoyable one at that, has to do with ancient mechanical life forms and such, like Ruin Guards. Now... Am I romantically or sexually attracted to these machines?

Well... Comparing to Sohreh herself who obviously had such intention towards me, of course. But generally, I do not see the point in all this. I never understood why people seem to enjoy such things in general. It is all for reproduction after all, isn't it...?

I cannot reproduce with these machines now can I? I mean my late clones, considering how I built them, can be regarded as my progeny with machines but...

Oh, why did you have to impose such thoughts into my precious brain?! How dare you? This brain was meant for greater things... *sigh*

Anyway I hope this answers your question. I have to think about this more myself. But for now, I simply say... I do not understand the concept of romance. And forgive me for being so blunt... Why fuck a machine or even a person when I can literally fuck up the whole Sumeru or the entirety of Teyvat? Hm?

#genshin ask blog #genshin impact #dottore #ruin guard #zandik's legacy #sohreh #ask dottore

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coffeeheartaddict2 · 2 years ago

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Burden or Expectation

Book: Open Heart (pre series)

Characters: Tobias Carrick, F!OC Bethany Carrick(née Lewis), M!OC Edward Dwight Carrick.

Warnings: swearing, mentions of past sexual indiscretions

Category: Angst

Rating: PG

Word count: 1441

Summary: Tobias questions some decisions he has made in his life after a heated confrontation with his dad.

Authors note: So I have Tobias as being a single man. There has been the occasional time where he has questioned this but generally he is happy with his decision. This is set when Tobias is 35, so before book 1. This is the time he questioned his decision the most. Thank you @jerzwriter for the Totally Tobias Tuesday that inspired this work.

🦶🏽🦶🏽🦶🏽🦶🏽🦶🏽🦶🏽🦶🏽🦶🏽🦶🏽🦶🏽🦶🏽🦶🏽

Christmas 2017, Philadelphia.

For the first time in what seemed like an eternity Tobias was heading home for Christmas. Tobias loved the Lewis family Christmas. He has many fond memories of Christmas spent with his mum’s family and later assisting with the food drive at their church when he was old enough. It was with his mum’s side that he was able to truly enjoy and appreciate the joys of Christmas. His mother’s neighbourhood was a far cry from the South End of Boston but he always enjoyed coming back.

He pulled up to his mum’s house and she was sitting on the porch.

“Good to see you ma,” said Tobias as he embraced her.

“Good to see you, Tobias. You are looking well.”

“I am always happy to come back here, no matter how brief. You know that.”

“I am, how is work?”

“Busy, being a trauma doctor and on a another team makes for being busy. My latest article in the New England Journal of Medicine seemed well received.”

Tobias sat down to afternoon tea and was caught on all the happenings with his mum’s family.

“And daddy dearest?” Asked Tobias.

“I wish you would not call him that…”

“I have called him worse ma.” Said Tobias.

“I know.” Said Beth, “he is still your father at end of the day, Tobias.”

“And a bang up job he did, barely bothering to try and make an effort in attending things, and when he does bringing his latest conquest and when he is not working or sleeping around, spent the time criticizing me for my choices in what I did at college.”

“There has always being expectation of preferred college courses within that family and I am so proud of you for choosing your own path…”

“And I have always appreciated that, Ma.” Said Tobias.

They had a light dinner and prepped some of the food for the next day.

“It would be nice if you bought someone home with you one of these times.” Said Beth in jest.

Tobias winced. He knew one person who would have loved a Lewis family Christmas and they were still not friends.

“I know the two directions you are angling ma. I am happily single, my life is full and I am not missing not having a serious relationship.”

“And Ethan?”

Tobias again winced. “He has his own life ma.”

Tobias was not lying but he knew that it took a lot for Ethan to trust him back in college and that was ruined in a moment of stupidity.

“Well I am still sad that after all this time you have remained on the outer. Life is too short for such grudges.”

“I know ma, I know but if you are someone who has found trusting people difficult…”

Beth nodded in understanding. They finished the preparations and they turned in for the night.

The next day was Christmas. His aunts, uncles and cousins all converged and enjoyed a feast. Tobias had not remained overly close to his cousins but it was always enjoyable catching up with them all. Tobias was the only one who worked in the medical field, many of his cousins were teachers or social workers working within their communities. Tobias always found their stories of their work fascinating as they did his.

The meal as always was enjoyable and the grown ups all sat down and watched the kids play with their new toys. One thing Tobias loved about his cousins is that none of them questioned him about his lack of children or when he will have any. He enjoyed his cousins kids though and they seemed to appreciate him.

The next day came. Tobias was enjoying his time at home until he saw a car pull up. He had not seen his dad since he graduated medical school but he knew it was him.

“Tobias, son, how are you?”

“As if you fully care, father but I am well.”

“Well Boston seems to be agreeing with you.”

“It has. Now please leave.”

“I thought you would be happy to see me.”

Tobias rolled his eyes.

“Seriously, my feelings towards you have not and will not change.”

“No Mrs Carrick?”

“Ma is home.”

“Not what I meant, Son.” Said Edward, curiously. “You are 35son…”

“And what does age have to do with it? Huh?” Stated Tobias, rather annoyed. “Just because you had 2 failed marriages and I shudder to think how many affairs by the time you were my age…”

“What, don’t you want to continue the family name?”

“What some pretentious tradition of alternating between Dwight and Theodore? Or more lawyers to make all our lives difficult? Surely any illegitimate children you have could carry on the legacy just as well.”

Edward was taken aback.

“You need to settle down, Son.”

“No, I fucking hell do not have to, especially if it is at your behest! Again please leave.”

“A man of your age should be settled.”

“Who says I am not, I own a nice house, a fulfilling career, I have all I need.”

“You need a wife, son.”

“No I do not and even if I was seeing anyone whom I thought I could and would settle with, I certainly would not be informing you.”

“Why not, you are still my son.”

“Yeah well you could have fooled me!”

Bethany could hear the escalating voices and she came out to investigate.

“Edward, what brings you here?”

“Came to see Tobias since I heard he was coming down.”

“Where are your manners Tobias, come in Edward.”

Edward enters and Tobias follows.

“Seriously father, why now? If memory serves, you have made no effort to see me since I graduated medical school and the only two things you did was show off your latest conquest who if I recall was same age as I was when I started medic school at the time and state how much and I quote “a fucking failure because I graduated second in the class.” I had a GPA of 3.97. I found a niche in trauma, I have been published and in the process of being the head of trauma and on a diagnostic team also so again, how is the being in your words a fucking failure?”

“Well you were not the top, you did not get into a top notch residency and your lack of wife…”

“Not a top residency, it was and still is a top residency program and it was a great experience and stop being a hypocrite. If marriage was all it was cracked up to be then you would still be married to my mother and honoured your vows.”

Tobias gets up to leave the room and stops at the door. “For the record father, I am happy with my lot in life.” He walks upstairs and packs his bag. Beth follows.

“Leaving already?”

“Well if he is going to just sit there and criticise my life choices then I will leave. Sorry ma but there is only so much of that man I can take.”

Tobias packs his bag and heads to his car.

“I hope you are happy, once again ruining what has generally being a happy time. Since I did not make myself clear enough the last time I will repeat myself and I would much appreciate you doing something that is obviously against your principles and honour my request and do not contact me again.”

Tobias started his journey back home to Boston. He was annoyed that his trip had been cut short. What was bugging him more though was his dad’s opinions of him. It was something he generally ignored. Nothing seemed to be good enough and he accepted that and he was also happily single so why was it bothering him. He put it down to the initial anger but when it had not subsided he knew that he needed to seek help.

A few weeks into the new year Tobias started seeing Dr Rasmussen. Over the coming months they discussed Tobias’s childhood, his dad’s extra marital affairs, his dad’s expectations, medical school, and non-work aspects of his life. As time went on he again became happy in his decisions to remain single and not settle down and get married.

He had a strong role model in Beth who never remarried and who had a happy and fulfilled life without another man. He knew career was not everything but he also knew settling down for the sake of doing so was also not healthy or a reason to do so and he was more than happy with that.

——-

Authors note 2: A little history. Tobias walked in on his dad having sex in his home office with someone who was not his mother. He was 9. Bethany divorced him. He married that woman and they eventually divorced. Tobias was expected to be a perfect son who would go on to study law at UPenn. Tobias had other ideas. Edward was not a faithful man, he bought a woman that was not his second wife to graduation, and had a different woman it seemed whenever he saw him. He has one half sibling he is aware of that is older than Tobias, from a relationship before Beth. Tobias would not be surprised if there were others.

Tagging: @jamespotterthefirst @jerzwriter @genevievemd @liaromancewriter @potionsprefect @a-crepusculo @bex-la-get @crazy-loca-blog @alj4890 @youlookappropriate @cariantha @trappedinfanfiction @socalwriterbee @tessa-liam @lucy-268 @schnitzelbutterfingers @binny1985

@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

#open heart #choices fanfic writers creations #tobias x casey #fic of the week #open heart choices #totally tobias tuesday #inspired #Tashland

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