#and anxiety kills and stuff | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

slimyenemy · 5 months ago

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chat i love them sm

#yk the whole thing about these subtle foreshadowings is that you seem rude and absurd and crazy every time you point them out #even despite the way more obvious evidence of these people like #just straight up getting mad at the thought of doing anything nice for you at all that isn't that vagueposting a thing or two #and every time you do say something regardless the focus also shifts immediately and entirely on dissecting you and how you possibly >>#>> could and couldn't would or wouldn't (i mean guess which one is more convenient) do something wrong in every scenario ever #and then boom it's been a year of you just going through nightmares and they just get more and more open about and hellbent on the violence #and regardless of how you actually act there are still all the same excuses for just about ✨anything✨ there always were #and suuuuuuch a real possibility of you being secretly evil #and giving up on everything even the curses and i mean like. eating and stuff. to mess with everyone's minds just for the love of the game #and just kill people left and right when no one's looking i guess #like yeah i must just be this affected by not being worshipped or feared enough or given money or something #nothing genuine ever going on there whatsoever because i'm too 👽boo spooky alien👽 for all that #as if it's even possible to win anything at all in a situation where you were already dehumanized to such extent from the start yk lol c':#and *literally* *anything* can be written into this narrative like thiiiiiiiiiis easily whether it makes sense or not #not even like it's supposed to make sense obv since the point is like just excusing things and silencing me and keeping the torture going #and they already fell for all that at least once so #there probably isn't that much else going on now #or at least it's way less anxiety inducing to think about it like that #and anxiety kills and stuff #so c':#oh and i'm not allowed to like genuinely not want to be around and dislike people after them torturing me for over a year #for these reasons too so it's just anything about me ✨being upset✨ about ✨not being good enough✨ for them or jealous or something instead #either way it lowkey felt so much nicer when i could just talk to them alone and without my abusers being brought up all the time #and now it's just them probably thinking that me being scary right wing kelp forest dracula theory every time they're being cute to me #i'll just be crying every time i talk to you idk is that okay?#or i mean #yeah you're actually kinda weird #literally all that's been going on is just me not being allowed to feel *functional* over someone not wanting to fix their head about >>#>> basic human rights and bodily autonomy and being weird about me feeling feelings for people i feel feelings for #fucked up horrifying pointless mess nothing else

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mirensiart · 2 months ago

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i keep seeing young fans interacting with the creators of their fave shows on twitter and like, openly asking them about their ships or @-ing them on their fanart and i just

listen, i once had my fire emblem engage fanart retweeted by the official nintendo artist who drew the official fe engage art AND designed the characters and i was seconds away from deleting my entire account cause like

my fanart wasn't tagged, and that particular one, even if it was pretty gen, it was in between AN OCEAN of yaoi i had drawn of the fe engage characters

so like, there's a very big likehood that that official artist saw my deranged yaoi of the characters SHE DESIGNED and every time i remember i want to scream to the void cause oh my god

OH MY GOD

anyway, i just remembered this one particular moment of my life and it made me feel like screaming all over again

if you're a creator of anything i draw, please NEVER perceive me or i will probably die, thank you.

#i have ANXIETY this KILLS the miry #it was a super cute celine + alfred drawing i did that mika pikazo retweeted but im' not joking #it was in between like a thousand diamant/amber and alear/alfred drawings #and i never tagged anything with the hashtags on twitter cause people seeing my stuff made me embarrassed lol #so how did she find it????? i have NO CLUE #AND IT EATS AT ME EVERY DAY #DID SHE SEE MY YAOI?!?! oh god she totally SAW IT #anyway it's been like 2 years and i'm STILL suffering #miry's yapping

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saggitary · 1 year ago

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Just a reminder that Echo, after being held as a POW for like a year, frozen in a cyro chamber, having just been disconnected from the mainframe by having a cable yanked out of his fucking spinal cord goes:

Echo: *raspy might be dying voice* Rex

Rex: What is it!??? *<- terrified that he is absolutely dying*

Echo: I’ve got a big head ache 😙

#Rex was instantly reminded of why he has gray hair and chronic anxiety #because this motherfucker would jump him from the vents #like Echo #honey #you look half dead and just had a cable ripped out of your head #PLEASE take this a little more serious 😭#but anyways I love him #this scene always cracks me up #he’s so silly 🥹#Rex has long since learned why the Rishi Moon tried to kill Echo and Fives #they made it his issue #anyways #the clone wars #star wars #sag’s stuff #arc trooper echo

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hadesoftheladies · 1 year ago

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FEMALE MOVIE/TV RECS (PART 5 / HORROR & CRIME DRAMA)

got inspired from a recommendation post so decided to make a list of movies and shows with female-centric stories/female protagonists. since i can't post all of the genres in one post, i'll split it into multiple posts and y'all can save or add to the list as you wish. (disclaimer: i have watched most of these, but i only know about the existence of others. not every movie/show on these lists will be my recommendation. my recommendations will be beneath the list with reasons. also some of these are way better than others in terms of storytelling/performance--which is why i'll list my faves separately):

Common Themes:

-Dangerous girls (they ain't innocent)/ girlhood as violent

-Stressed out and melancholic female detectives and authors (lots of drinking/smoking)

-Mothers who've seen too fucking much to play games/I'm a good mother until it doesn't let up

-Women handling shit/getting shit done

-Mothers who didn't want to be mothers but here we fucking are so might as well handle shit

-Evil women who are also unfortunately hot

-Female sociopaths (not always negatively portrayed)

HAVEN'T WATCHED

The Royal Hotel

The Silent Twins

The Kitchen

The Lost Flowers of Alice Hart

I'm Thinking of Ending Things

Sharp Objects

Killing Eve

Abigail

Heavenly Creatures

A Quiet Place Part 2

Panic Room

Alice, Darling

Blood Red Sky

Rust Creek

The Marsh King's Daughter

Pearl

Longlegs

GOOD STUFF (NEVER WATCHING AGAIN THOUGH!)

Bad Sisters (8/10) (sisters plan to kill their sister's abusive husband)

Yellowjackets (9/10) (love as cannibalism)

Candy (7.5/10) (she's just a killer lol)

Cruella (6.5/10)(help my mom is a narcissist and it's hereditary)

Jennifer's Body (7/10) (boys aren't people lmao)

Bird Box (8/10)

Under the Bridge (8/10)

PERSONAL NOTES

I watched Tragedy Girls years ago, and I remember being grossed out and having a lot of fun as well. If you like Jennifer's Body, you'll probably like Tragedy Girls, too. And if you like Tragedy Girls, you may also enjoy Thoroughbreds. All three have a twisted sense of girlpower.

The Call isn't scary so much as its nerve-wracking and upsetting. It's not gory (although there is violence), but it deals with heavy subject matter. I can, however, promise a satisfying ending. Even though I doubt it would put you at ease.

Horror is my least favourite genre so bear that in mind. I just hate jump scares (because I hate being startled) and I don't like gore though there are times where it doesn't bother me so much. So this is definitely not an exhaustive list on horror recs. Crime is as close as I usually get to such dark stuff so I put the dark crimes, psychological thrillers and horrors together. I don't even want to talk about these that much because I'm nauseous already.

Watch at your own risk.

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goldensunset · 7 months ago

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in my experience i didn’t get interested in kingdom hearts by watching or playing anything first. i got interested by watching people post about cute anime children murdering each other and i was like ‘fascinating. i wonder how this got past the disney censors. let’s find out’

#kingdom hearts #khposting #of course i stayed for all the genuine heartfelt stuff. but that’s what got my attention first #media that is clearly supposed to be dark and is dark: meh. ok #media that is supposed to be fun and childish that dips a bit into dark stuff for delicious tonal whiplash every now and then: LET’S GO #‘why do you only like children’s stuff’ eh. cuz i like when stuff can be messed up and real #but when the creators aren’t allowed to lean on blood gore and violence as a crutch. i like when they’re forced to think outside the box #you tell a kids media creator they aren’t allowed to kill someone and they go ok. got it. i will create a fate worse than death #now that’s what i’m talking about!#not saying all adult stuff is uncreative blood gore and violence of course #just saying that it’s always a possibility and it makes me nervous #i like being personally guaranteed in advance that i wouldn’t be jumpscared by upsetting things and personal triggers bc i’m v sensitive #i get anxious without that guarantee #it isn’t baseless anxiety at all it happens. i have been shown so much awful stuff in one of my film-related classes lately #including one of my own worst personal nightmares #call me cringe idc

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cachexiacomplication · 19 days ago

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I find it funny when the "tccers aren't violent" argument uses social anxiety and inability to function in society as proof. Like okay so lots of these people who did successful mass shootings ALSO couldn't talk on the phone or ask for ketchup you're not special

#using those as general anxiety examples not related to a killer in specific #but like they're all mentally ill #mentally ill people tend to have a difficult time doing things. they also still killed people. so #this isn't just a tcc thing either it gets said about a lot of stuff #a lot if productive people can't talk to strangers #sigh whatever

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tgtbata · 2 years ago

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another year, still drawing people doing things to each other. you might or might not know this but i started working as a doctor this year and i'm happy/proud it hasn't kept me from still drawing my silly little fictional guys. it's not much but it's honest work.

thank you to everyone who's liking, reblogging and commenting on my art! it means everything to me <3

#yia*#a #i guess that sums up most of what happened this year already #i think everyone knows how bad the healthcare system is for workers but - it really is bad out here lol stay safe yall #so many sickly yellows in my picks for this year... what does it all mean #the doctor thing encompasses a bunch of stuff like. being a friggin doctor. doing ENT and liking it like i hoped i would. doing surgeries #earning proper money from a proper full-time job for the first time in my life. doing 24h shifts and being on call.#still haven't finished my thesis and honestly don't know how i'm supposed to with the time i have w/o killing every bit of joy in my life #but thus are the mysteries of existence #the girl with social anxiety who didn't understand starting i.v.s - she's come a long way and i rarely take the time to be proud of it.#also i'm proud of my gay fanart. equally as much i think. so here's YOUR reminder to be proud of YOU.

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arodykeism · 5 months ago

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but i'm not supposed to scratch

#undescribed #bonk.png #uninhabited planet survive #mujin wakusei survive #HOOO BOY this is extremely self indulgent bc i like fake episodes n storylines for things n sharla is my second fav of the bunch #before i forgot caption is a line from love me more by mitski n the dialogue is taken straight from wakaba's elevator scene in utena #just altered for the characters' genders obv back to yapping all the pieces were in place for sharla to have a jealousy subplot like in the #second half of the show (after adam is introduced basically) sharla n luna dont as much focus together with the secondary character to luna #shifting to kaoru bc of being more involved in directdanger all the time n sharla not being good at that stuff is relegated to the sidelines #which is something shes insecure about!! shes not as good at survival action as everyone else n doesnt have anything skills unique to her #she LITERALLY stops taking her rations of water so the others can have more bc she feels like she doesnt matter as much as the others!!#shes fairytale girl sharla which is good for morale (esp luna's) but not particularly helpful when theyve gone a few days with no food #she also is implied to have no proper friends before meeting luna in the first episode (at which point they immediately become ride or die)#with her only sort of friend being a girl she hung out with despite her being bullied n excluded who then left her for the bullies #n episode 17 is about her wanting luna to be able to rely on her with them sharing eachother's history of loneliness #the show also has a emphasis on their circumstances escalating emotions n causing them to lash out at eachother theres a episode right b4 #the winter arc where howard is jealous n lashes out bc hes used to being the center of attention but no on on the island really likes himdue #to him being a brat so he soaks up adam's attention like a sponge n freaks out when adam starts favoring menori #which is understandble n somewhat easy to digest n process but you know who has a more prominent history of loneliness n abandonment who is #also prone to insecurity n thrives on someone's affection? sharla n i set this fake story line during the space criminals arc bc it doesnt #really have a lot of character work n takes place right after the winter arc with both having the characters stuck inside for most of it bc #of more direct serious danger n sharla along with chako n shingo would be stuck inside the most BUT with the criminals arc chako n shingo #are actively doing something theyre contributing but all sharla can do is watch adam while luna her bestie luna is out dealing with people #literally hunting them with kaoru who is notably better than everyone else at the whole survival action thing has become closer to lunasince #the winter arc n from what sharla has seen has no flaws or weaknesses theres specific reasons as to why i dont think her negative feelings #would be focused on the others bc for varying reasons she wouldnt feel they threaten her relationship with luna (the rationalization for #bell not being viewed as a possible threat is interesting to me bc of the similarities between him n sharla both of them bonding early on n #her being implied to have a crush on him while he explicitly has a crush on luna but thats not what we're talking about rn)#but none of those reasons really apply to kaoru n she has the reason of Him Saying He Killed Someone to feel more justified in directing #all her stress about their situation n the anxiety crawling up her throat about luna potentially choosing someone else over her onto him

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venusiinfurss · 1 month ago

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guys big news my brain told me that if i think about It one more time than It will stop hurting

#cw ocd/mh discussion in tags #who else up googling do i have ocd questionaire #slash is it normal to feel this way all of the time #i think what’s holding me back besides not currently being in therapy is that if i do have ocd what would be considered my compulsions #mostly aren’t physical. like mental stuff #although i have a lot of checking stuff as well #like i don’t think it’s normal to have anxiety attacks and panicking and just nonstop thinking about certain things #about different things and issues etc and not really be able to control it #like debilitating intrusive thoughts as well #nausea #to the point where it’s causing me significant emotional distress and affecting my life #and if i say what some of them they are i’ll sound fucking crazy lol #not to doxx myself/leak medical info but i’ve already been diagnosed with pdd/gad #although i think it might be mdd at this point in time #but i have no one to blame but myself because I'm not entirely honest with medical professionals #out of worry that they'll tell my parents #like it's gotten to a point where i'm just like i don't think this is normal #to be feeling like this all the time. besides my current Big (Trigger? idk if i can call it that) it would be nice to drive without feeling #like I've secretly killed somebody. or just drive without panicking the entire time #which btw NOONE understands when i try to explain it #but whatever #sorry for comment vent & rant i've had a shitty day lol. shitty week shitty year etc

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artsysurvivor · 3 months ago

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Alphys should’ve been more loved kind of like how Sans was. The only reason she wasn’t is because of misogyny.

(… and slightly because she’s annoying but I think she’s also endearing so fuck you).

#look when I first played the game I loved sans too but holy shit. Some people did not realize there were other characters in the game #Like #in the True Pacifist route you don’t need sans to finish it. yeah the judgement area is cool and it has value but ultimately #Alphys is more important in that scenario because of the secret lab #also you want a character with depression and anxiety?#THAT’S HER BITCH. SO MUCH SO THAT SOME FANS SPECULATE THAT SHE KILLS HER SELF IN GENOCIDE #I haven’t played #Undertale #in a while so this stuff might not be completely accurate.#ALSO. SHE IS THE ROYAL SCIENTIST OF THE UNDERGROUND #SHE’S SMART AS HELL #ALSO BONUS FUCKER #UNDYNE?.!?!?#SAME FUCKING CONCEPT. SHE’S RESLLY COOL #…. in general I think the UT fandom spent too much time on sans. like yeah he knows timelines but so can flowey! he’s not special #and yeah I know thst canonically flowey couldn’t beat sans #but still.#idk I just wanted to rant about this because it came to mind

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khaotunq · 3 months ago

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10 People I’d Like to Get to Know Better

The ever-wondrous Jamie @juniorpanachai tagged meee

LAST SONG: I'm in a Hurry (And Don't Know Why) by Alabama

FAVORITE COLOR: Green

LAST BOOK: I just finished The Tainted Cup by Robert Jackson Bennett, who is quite possibly my favourite author - none of his books have been a miss. I'm now bouncing between the biography of Peg Plunkett by Julie Peakman and The Honjin Murders by Seishi Yokomizo

LAST MOVIE/TV SHOW: I just spent most of a week rewatching House M.D. and Psych, so I guess those? I can't think of the last movie I watched. I should probably catch up on Top Form.

LAST THING I GOOGLED: Seishi Yokomizo to make sure I wasn't butchering his name lmao

LATEST OBSESSION: I'm in a bit of a fixation lull at the moment - weird funk of everything I touch turns to ash etc etc. I think the most consistent thing lately has been banana and peanut butter bagels and relistening to my comfort podcasts.

#got tagged!#my answers are very boring lmao #i'm killing the bloodline here bc Social Anxiety but if anyone wants to be tagged i will totally say i tagged u #i'm gonna go rb a bunch of stuff now so this isn't the top of my blog #problem being i got like shamed a while back so i've nothing to queue from my likes #womp womp i'll go into fandom tags wish me luck

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ethereiling · 13 days ago

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had a dire day of having a bunch of different anxiety triggers getting set off when ive already been ambiently anxious lately but i persist through the power of reminding myself that just because im having rly bad anxiety spikes that doesnt mean any of it is True and also having a Very funny interaction with a stranger in ffxiv. we take those

#avpswjy #the poor person thought i was their friend and i was So confused when they were like. being wildly overfamiliar #then it got figured out and now theyre on my friend list LMAO #the anxieties have been. well. a lot. but im doing my best #like i think the major one is money/job stress and that just makes me prone to other triggers #but it pisses me off when stuff that usually doesnt bother me makes me want to die or beat people to death with sticks #im being jokey but its genuinely been so dire today #smiles serenely. eventually ill figure out how to pull my life together #absolutely killing my art drive tho which is alsp pissing me off #anyway. sighs. who wants to bet this manifests as stress dreams tonight

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werewolf4vampire · 1 month ago

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took my last klonopin that i had been saving for a while and fucking wasted it by sleeping it off. fucking hell

#i literally had been so well behaved too I'd been wanting to take it for like a week and kept putting it off bc i'm soo strong and brave #and i finally take it and what am i rewarded with? fucking nothing #fuck my stupid baka life i'm literally so fucking upset #i was so looking forward to a bit of a break from such intense anxiety and like actually doing some stuff i needed to do #killing myselfffff #darryl speaks

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neodiekido · 10 months ago

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i need to draw something for shuichis birthday after i finish my hw but im rewatching trial 6 and getting really emotional about it

#shuichi completely fuckin snapping is kind of funny but also heartbreaking #cure for anxiety: get so mad about your friend being killed under false pretenses you completely snap and stop caring about your perception #I SWEAR ON HER KINDNESS AND HER LOVE AND HER GRAVE THAT I WILL AVENGE HER #YOU don't wanna die? Do you know how many of my friends were SACRIFICED??#dont even get me fucking started on when tsumugi pulls out the fiction stuff ajd shuichi rejecting hope and despair #ill go crazy man you dont wanna see it

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messingwithmoony · 5 months ago

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I worry far too much for this good lord i need to get checked out by a doctor

#i have diagnosed anxiety #just unmedicated #for various reasons #need to go doctors anyway tbf #but id have to book multiple appointments to get through all my shit #and my doctors are always fully booked #might ring them for my headaches though because they keep getting worse #like it bloody kills every time someone opens their mouth too high an octabe #which is unfortunate #because i do a lot of stuff where people are loud #like my work always has music blaring #and i volunteer with small children who squeal 24/7 #nothing but suffering on this blog #messingwithmoony

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astro-b-o-y-d · 2 days ago

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Like YES, it ties into his whole thing of being dangled before death only to be drawn back at the last second and forced to keep going with all that anxiety attached. BUT THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU DO THAT FOR HIM IN THE TRIAL TOO??????

#Hayley Speaks #Like there is some symbolism to be had in regards to the fact that he inevitably killed himself through his own anxiety #And his final cause of death being fear-induced cardiac arrest #So it's not BAD #I'm just...aughgughguhgh that other stuff would've been so neat too

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