#and boundaries

[it-explains-why-youre-special]

idk how many people i speak for here, but i really think april/donnie/casey’s dynamic in 2012 would’ve been so much nicer if they stopped framing april flirting with two people as a competition instead of just an unconventional relationship dynamic (aka polyam)

the three of them are just so stupid together. i love them

like??? look at them??? what we could’ve had

[brown-little-robin]

my poor mom is having a rough time these past few days/weeks, what should I do to give her a little treat?

[manchesterau]

ouuuu theyre talking about fandom self policing

[morathicain]

Okay, so ep 10 of Be My Favourite has left me ... frustrated? Talked a lot to my friend @ommited-miscellaneously about the way Kawi’s character seems to have switched and how uncomfortable the dynamic between them was and how weird some decisions were (like the mom, like ?????????). Is he ace coded? After some consideration, I doubt it. I rather like the theory (of @shouldiusemyname ) of him being an observer who isn’t used to be an active participant but also going in blind.

But regardless if it’s one of the two or the good old “one of them needs to be pushy and the other needs to play coy to the point of seeming repulsed”, it was done badly in my opinion. Like, a lot of people seem to think them sleeping together in the end was romantic and a sign of Kawi realising he actually likes to do all of that with Pisaeng, but it made me highly uncomfortable. Pisaeng had been trying to get any sign of affection from his boyfriend this last episode and Kawi has reacted repulsed to the smallest touches. Could it have been the nerves? Sure, but it’s still not a cool move, dude. Did his avoidance of actually telling Pisaeng what had been bothering him and instead saying he “ENJOYED” himself this day despite clearly been aggressive and rejective the whole day sit wrong with me? Definitely. Like, sorry, but this treats Pisaeng as if he’s dumb and can’t see when someone actually has a bad time? There was a chance for communication and it wasn’t used at all. Instead, they instantly jump to the sex!!

Which was the next ... uncomfortable thing. Like, they haven’t had a sober kiss yet. And Kawi clearly doesn’t feel ready. Why the fuck, do they need to jump to sex instantly, without proper communication, when they haven’t even had a sober kiss? Why couldn’t they have a talk so Pisaeng understands and they then can proceed to like ... watch a movie and cuddle, hold hands and share a first tentative kiss? This felt so rushed and I’d only accept it if it’s going to explode into their faces next episode.

Also, I was getting BohnDuen flashbacks. Of course, Kawi isn’t as bad as Duen, but the way he treats Pisaeng’s simple wish to spend time with his boyfriend and thinks Pisaeng wants to jump him all the time, wasn’t sitting right with me. Most of the episode he was an outright asshole to him while Pisaeng was so desperately pushy. Yes, the nerves but DAMN, that’s what the offer for communication at the end has been for! Like, I can accept a lot of reasons for him being overwhelmed but it still stands that Kawi didn’t use the chance to communicate his struggles and he should have grown enough as a person till now to use that. And if he doesn’t, on purpose, then this show suddenly gets deeper and less wholesome and light than it was during the past episodes. And to me, it rather felt like a checkmark.

Somehow, this kiss felt also less natural and comfortable as the two drunk kisses they have shared before. Yes, the nerves, but I’d argue that the circumstances made it feel different. In those two kisses before we’ve seen Kawi communicate a clear need and wish to be close to Pisaeng and initiate the kisses (hell, him being unable not to play with Pisaeng’s hair in the first one was adorable AF and exactly the vibe I would have wished for their first time - let me see that he enjoys it!) and nothing of that need or his crush on Pisaeng has been shown in this episode?

We know that Pisaeng has been going to the future, too, we just don’t know since when and how often and what he’s learned. But if they need to constantly travel through time and their relationship STILL raises my hackles like that ... maybe they shouldn’t be together at all? Really, this episode it sometimes felt as if Kawi isn’t really interested in a romantic relationship with Pisaeng at all or that he never thought beyond “getting together for the greater good”. It leaves me baffled after all those episodes before which were well done and a lot of fun and I wonder if something changed/if the problems were here all along/if the writers actually have a magic trick up their sleeves that will make it all make sense and be good????

So yeah, my thoughts on this are complicated and I’ve spend a good portion of last night trying to put my finger on why both of their behaviour felt so wrong to me (yes, Pisaeng’s, too - it felt almost mindlessly pushy???). In the end we have to wait and see ^^°

As an extra, things that would have made it better in MY opinion: 

more time between Pisaeng confessing and Kawi realising his own feelings, maybe with Pisaeng actually exploring his sexuality more and having boyfriends (he’d know better what he wants and Kawi could maybe observe what a relationship with Pisaeng might look like and also what he wants from his relationship with Pisaeng?)

them having an actual talk about what they want and need and their fears

them NOT jumping to sex instantly but also NOT avoiding any other form of intimacy (and IF Kawi has intimacy issues then PLEASE talk about that!)

have Kawi initiate cute moments in between too, let us see his need to be close to Pisaeng and be supportive (and not only have him promise it in a call with Pisaeng’s horrible mom - no I won’t forgive her being homophobic and distant 99% of the show just to have a last second switch) despite being a bit overwhelmed and nervous

Have Pisaeng NOT pretend as if he’s had a horrible fight with his mom to come and be with Kawi, this was stupid and not in character all along, wtf guys?

Have them break up and I mean this seriously - I was so uncomfortable during this episode and the fact that they didn’t properly talk made me think that if this goes on (or would go on irl because the show might just behave as if everything is fine next episode) they are doomed. If they don’t find a way to properly communicate their needs and limits, they’ll get stuck in the worst relationship, thinking this is the only way to make sure the world is happy? Thanks, I hate it.

Anyway, I wrote a quick breakup scene here and will now wait and see what next week brings. It might be the build up for the angst in episode 11 as always but I currently have a hard time believing that they’ll handle the topic properly and well enough for me to want them still together in the end (pls prove me wrong pls prove me wrong pls prove me wrong) and that would be a damn shame because the show has been fun and cute so far. But we’ll see ...

So far thank you @ everyone who read till now. No hate please, this is MY opinion and you can have another. I’d rather be convinced that my view is too unjust but I’ll only accept friendly discussions. Rude comments will be blocked. Thank you! <3

[elizabethgoudge]

Olivia Colman reads a letter responding to an unsolicited penis photograph

[annasanthology]

[chibird]

Saying no can feel uncomfortable, but by doing so, we can protect our sanity and boundaries. Saying no is a healthy practice! 👏

Chibird store | Positive pin club | Instagram

[catcrumb]

[homocidalpotat]

Please do not send me asks for donations

Here's why (for if you find that statement hard to understand):

I have NO money to give you.

I don't have a big enough audience for my asks to get noticed.

I am a minor, and most of my followers/mutuals are too.

It makes me feel extremely guilty.

Seeing pictures of injuries or hospitals etc are triggering and/or upsetting for me. These pictures often have blood, gore, extreme medical situations, hospital environments, etc. I'm not saying I don't feel sympathy for them, I'm saying I do not want to see that.

They are always worded in a way that makes me feel like I am a murderer if I don't donate.

I said I don't want them, and my boundaries should be respected. They make me feel uncomfortable, and sometimes triggered or upset.

I can't tell what is a bot/scam and what isn't.

I get a lot of spam from this.

Please, just respect the fact that I have said this.

If you want this in your pinned post, please don't credit me. You can copy the words or take a screenshot with my username cropped out. You can reblog this but please don't go on about how awful your experiences have been. I get it, but also if you spiral two much you might end up accidentally saying something bad. This post has led to a lot of hate anons and harassment, so I would rather not have too much attention. Thanks...

I am pro Palestine and want to do everything I can to help but I'm not financially or mentally well enough to do much. I'm not in support of these people dying. Also, this post isn't just about Palestine. It's about ALL asks for donations. I'm not doing favouritism or racism. I just can't deal with it. Don't harass me for expressing boundaries. This post applies to people of all nationalities and backgrounds. Every situation- war, poverty, injury, anything. I'm not discriminating. I'm not being a zionist or a racist or an ableist. It's a boundary.

Yes, this post might seem controversial. But I did literally make this for my own personal experience and didn't expect it to get more than 12 notes or so. Don't add opposing views because quite frankly, it's none of your business. It's not my problem and I didn't mean for this post to get so many notes. Don't use the number of notes as an excuse to fight me. I just want a peaceful Tumblr experience. Also, if you are reblogging this, don't trauma dump. I keep notifications on for this post so that I can block people harassing me before shit escalates, so I can see every reblog. You can screenshot and repost if you want to talk about your problems, but honestly its no better seeing people saying "I'm bankrupt and I just got kicked out by my family. I also have a history of abuse and those images are so triggering that I want to die". That doesn't help me. Make your own post to say that. Please.

I am taking this post off private after slightly modifying it. Any conflicting arguments based on this post will result in my blocking and reporting of you. If you do not understand my point of view, make sure you fully read the post before saying this. I made this post for my blog. If you have any questions or don't understand this post, send me an ask that is composed, calm and polite, and I can talk it through with you.

Please note that by sharing this post, you are more likely to be targeted by bots and scams. You are also more likely to be harassed. Please be safe.

[everchased]

hahahahaaaa get safe and cared for, idiot

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

*hip checks u*

[thebibliosphere]

If there’s one thing that drives me insane it’s learned helplessness. And I know, I know it’s a stress response to trauma and a lot of people aren’t even aware they’re doing it, but unfortunately my childhood trauma is having to be the person who did everything because none of the adults had a handle on their shit, so unfortunately I have a short fuse when it comes to the kind of people who need a longer fuse and, well. You can see the conundrum this puts us in.

[thepeacefulgarden]

[tallymali]

genuinely what is the reason for the internet becoming so prudish?? who can i fight about this

[flora-tea]

Actually, no.

You don't owe your parents/guardians anything for raising you.

You don't owe them in-laws.

You don't owe them grandkids.

You don't owe them favors.

It's your life!

You decide how you want to live it.

You decide what you want or don't want in your life.