#and by hated i mean percieved

[xxacidrain39xx]

whenever theres some fuckass party for a family member i didnt even remember existed & i have to go girlmode, for some reason my brain always thinks that im “serving fem queen” and i cant fuckimg stop thunking that

[pointsfortrying]

-

[leon-on-the-froggy-chair]

yall ever find yourself shipping a ship you swore against and you have to sit there in shame

[cloudsbrainpopped]

tumblr broke on me. i broke tumblr this morning. oh my god. do you know how feral i must've gotten to break tumblr. mad speed.

[chipjrwibignaturals]

im going to EXPLODE company keeps sending pre-hire checklist of tasks and one is like "COMPLETE THIS ONE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE OR ELSE!!!!!!! you'll find it in a separate email :)" and. i am not getting this fucking separate email.

[nickloonie]

Hair was not bad enough to spread to tumblr (mostly.....) but royjamie is here now.... and Worse.... so apologies for my reblogs no i will not stop but.

also i was writing the tags. i dont know why this post turned into talking about my coworkers but thats what the tags are so

[sumarmzthesadseal]

Chat should I just change my pronouns to he/him only

[shebelby13]

I'm tired of living

In this suit of meat

The way I look determines

Value

Ability

Worth

I'll go to the crossroads

Sell my soul

Formless wisps of smoke

Creeping wave of fog

Immaterial thoughts

Intangible

I may miss

The feel of fur in hand

Crisp dew under foot

Sun warming skin

Worth the trade I think

To escape

From The Eyes

[crustyfloor]

The scene in "The true face" comic where we are shown the confrontation between Mizi and that dogshit npc is so fascinating, and the worldbuilding! Even though Alien Stage's universe doesn't function in the same ways as ours, it is to be expected that some of our world would be reflected in theirs, as long as a society exists. Heteronormativity and misogyny exist in some ways in their world. And it is taught by the aliens, from, Mizi knows and it is reiterated to her that as a female it is expected for her to only find mates in the other gender, not friendship, because it is expected that men and women aren't supposed to mean anything to each other beyond the means of reproducing and "mating", she feigns obliviousness to this when the npc asks her about her about Till, and to note- she is quick to make it clear that he's her friend, because she knows how they're percieved. Her reaction when that sentiment is shut down by the NPC and he begins trying to subtly convince her to acknowledge him too- is repulsion

It's interesting because she's aware of the expectations people have of her, and how she's forced to oblige them or else she won't survive. She's aware of how superficial the world around her is, and it disgusts her, especially in another scene where, in a way, she confronts Till about his feelings for her, even reiterates that she truly only has room in her heart for Sua (I think this ties back to the fact that she's repulsed that man and woman are a strict norm, because she doesn't believe in it and that's such good background info skdjufh) and again, she's repulsed when he tells her he likes her because she's pretty, not because of anything meaningful or because of her as a person, something that shows he sees her like what she's looking for but because of another aspect of the facade and get-up that she hates (This is how she knows a lot of other people see her, so it puts her off when he says the same). It disappoints her, yet she can't express that, she pretends to laugh it off whilst feeling bitter inside. These scenes center on how Mizi has a problem with not feeling like she's seen as a whole person, only the object of someone's desires, only a symbolic figure contributing to something "greater and more significant". Mizi's perspective reflects that of a lot of women in our world in the way that she resents being seen as something instead of someone, a beautiful girl, and not a person, etc.

When the NPC then hits her for her response and lashes out at her, (for context the translated comic is free on Vivinos's patreon) this shift in her personality is just so visceral, while she's trying to gain her bearings, she breaks down, very visceral fear reflected in her demeanor because he sees right through her and she's scared and trying to escape the dangerous and overwhelming situation by feigning obliviousness again, that's how you know it's her defense mechanism with the way she grapples for it in this moment to defend herself, it's not to reveal that she's a manipulator or malicious like the npc is accusing her of being. Because in this moment, Mizi looks genuinely scared and confused, this method is how she adapts and how she's been trying to survive up to this point, how people perceive her equates to her value, and she truly hates it

The comic nailed the uncomfortable reality that women in our world face, reflected through Mizi's perspective. Her identity is traced directly to her appearance, what she is rather than who she is, and she hates it. It conveys the suffering Mizi went through that we didn't see, and what the other characters didn't see either and how exactly that affected her, because the truth is- the people around her may have pitied or envied Mizi or didn't even think anything over her, just saw her as a bubbly and overwhelmingly positive person because that's what she showed others, but nobody understood her, the ignorance they had even put her in danger or left her lonely. That's why it's shown the NPC thought she was "cunning" and "manipulative" for acting the way she did, acting oblivious and stupid while everyone adored her for it. That's what ignorance and the empathy barely anyone had for Mizi, because they thought she had it so good, resulted in .

Even Sua, on her part, didn't truly understand or sympathize so much with Mizi because of the perception she had of her; she sees Mizi in some places and in others she doesn't. She believes Mizi's facade to be real because that's what Mizi showed her. It was easy to fall for it because Sua herself was using Mizi as a balm for her own pain, and that, only seeing Mizi as her unshifting and peaceful paradise that she could forget the entire cruel world with. And as Mizi played into it, that's what also fed into her resentment. Mizi was somebody dear to her, but it's not surprising that Sua resented Mizi for seemingly having it so "easy" in comparison to herself

That's why I really like this scene, the way Mizi responds to the way Sua sounds when she subconsciously expresses this to Mizi, and Mizi then hits her, shows Mizi's pain, having nobody who truly understands her

It's important to highlight that Mizi didn't hit Sua out of ill will, she's scared of what she did after she's done it, she's hurt, and she's trying to hide it because she's relieved to be with Sua, but Sua's words, that same "It must be nice being so lucky and not having any worries at all, yes?" sentiment that directly paralleled what that NPC said to Mizi was a trigger because Mizi was violated and hurt, she's not always treated well, her agency was ignored. Sua may not have known the details, but that ignorance is why Mizi responds that way. When she lives every day with her pain, never being acknowledged and having to act like she isn't bothered, this is a logical, immediate response on Mizi's part, ( or in a more metaphorical sense, to give back the same pain she was given) even if it's obviously not okay, This environment fosters these types of interactions, this is just the reason (not the justification).

It's so interesting how Alien stage explored Mizi's perspective this way, how she's constantly perceived as fortunate in a terrible situation, she inspires adoration and devotion just as much as she is the subject of ridicule and resentment, yet she has to take it and adapt even if it means being the person everyone assumed she was to ensure her survival, again that's how she adapted to this environment and acts the way she acts according to what others already think and expect of her, to survive. The honest truth is that she was trying.

[nataliaphantomhivesblog]

people are entitled to their own opinion, but genuienly thinking Elizabeth is a selfish character missed the whole point of her character and it actually drives me lowk insane.

I know that the introduction of her character can be harsh to digest because of how overbearing she can be and because she broke Ciel's ring that holds deep importance but:

She wasn't aware about the importance of the ring, and when Sebastian pointed out, she immediatelytook accountability and started to apologize.

She cried profusely, realizing how much history and emotional importance the ring held, her pain was as sharp, literally suffering in o!Ciel's place.

Even when o!Ciel tells her that it's okay, she cuts him off with a "but" again, fully willing to admit her mistake.

Elizabeth always goes an extra mile to make our earl smile, and she admits to Sebastian that sometimes she can be overbearing, but thats such a human mistake and her heart and intentions are always in the right place.

She is constantly attentive of o!ciel and worried about his wellbeing, she is able to tell when something is off with him.

She also struggles with crippling insecurities.

As a young lady of the Victorian era, Elizabeth finds herself torn between society's expectations and her family's ideals.

Desperate to appear beautiful and graceful for o!Ciel’s sake, she deliberately wore low-heeled shoes (a choice deemed childish for a girl her age, looked down upon by other girls) knowing full well that he wished to be seen as mature.

In quiet devotion, she diminished her own stature beside him, all to lift his pride.

But her lineage demanded strength. Forced to train with a sword, she carried the weight of duty, yet secretly loathed her own power, fearing it made her less of the delicate noblewoman she longed to be.

Her insecurities are so complex because while they root from how she feels her fiance needs to percieve her, they also stem from the expectations and oppresive ideals of society of how a woman should be.

Her sword training, a secret defiance of gendered expectations, should have been a source of confidence. Instead, it became yet another fracture in her self-worth.

Every swing of her blade felt like a betrayal of the "perfect lady" she was supposed to be, even as her lineage demanded she master it.

She hated her own skill, not because she lacked it, but because possessing it meant she could never fully be the dainty, unburdened girl she thought Ciel needed.

But when our earl is in danger, she doesn't hesitate, pushes away her deepest insecurties, all for o!Ciel.

She shows him her "uncute" apperance, she unravels infront of him completely.

A girl laid bare, willing to be seen as uncute, as flawed, if it means protecting him.

And when o!Ciel sees her strenght, obviously, he reacts positively to it. He doesn't see her as less, he doesn't hate her for it, he quickly accepts this part of her.

Literally zero disgust in his bones as he does so. (he's so gentle with her augh i love them)

And since o!Ciel accepted her, she started to unravel her strenght and didn't hide it as much.

Can we also talk about how Elizabeth was ready to resort to violence when she thought o!Ciel was cheating on her with Sieglinde? But when Sebastian steps in and explains the real reason behind their situation, not only does Elizabeth apologize, she immediately takes Sieglinde’s side

we love a girls girl !!!

She even goes a step further, offering her help and friendship.

Something worthy of mention is that she is never limiting herself to just her bond with Ciel, but always reaching out to form genuine connections with others.

And now everyone assumes she's selfish because of this....

And now they call her selfish? A traitor? As if she hadn’t spent her entire life bending over backwards just to make o!Ciel feel safe and happy.

Imagine dedicating three whole years to someone, selflessly, without expecting a single word of praise...only to discover it was all built on lies. How could anyone blame her for feeling betrayed?

On top of that, her entire life, since infancy, was shaped around the role of being a fiancée, just as r!Ciel was forced into becoming the Phantomhive heir. (the role o!Ciel took over instead).

Not only does she feel hurt by o!Ciel lying to her, she feels lost. Identity wise she is is crushed and feels she failed as a fiance for not telling the difference between the twins.

How is that fair? She spent years dedicating herself to his happiness, only for the foundation of her existence to be ripped away.

And even after "siding" with her fiancé, she is clearly unhappy. Not only because she knows r!Ciel and Undertaker are up to no good, but because she also understands why o!Ciel lied to her all those years.

She questions herself, she realizes the very reason why o!Ciel kept his identity a secret.

And when she realizes that if o!Ciel would've been honest about his identity back then, she would've expressed dissapointment, and that immediately makes her drown in that guilt.

And now, that truth consumes her: not only does she fail as a fiance, she feels she fails as a human too.

It is pretty clear to me that Elizabeth is torn and confused, heavily manipulated by r!Ciel and a lifetime of being groomed into the "perfect fiance"

Her entire sense of self was scripted for her, and now that the lie has collapsed, she’s left drowning in the wreckage.

I can’t claim to know Yana’s exact intentions, but this much is clear: Elizabeth is intelligent, fiercely compassionate, and, when the moment demands it: fully capable of making the right choice.

Will she forgive o!Ciel? Almost certainly. While the pain of his lies may never fully fade, the story makes one truth undeniable: Their bond, though built on deception, became real through those quiet moments of understanding and mutual acceptance.

Lets not forget that where r!Ciel weaponized Elizabeth’s deepest insecurities, o!Ciel was starting to dismantle them. 

one exploited her fears of inadequacy as the "perfect fiancée," while the other, despite his own deceptions, gave her the space to simply exist as herself.

And Elizabeth? That brilliantly perceptive girl currently drowning in betrayal? She will remember. She’ll piece together the truth, not just about them, but about herself. 

Anyways, I love Elizabeth and y'all should too!

[isuggestforcefem]

Hello… idk how asks work here. Are trans masc/genderfluid/idk even at this point people cool to interact too?

What are you trying to accomplish by asking this? In what world would a transfem’s answer be no?? In what world would that be a question worth asking, a thing up for questioning?

I know that world, of course. I know the reason. It was created this reality in which I am known as a hater of trans men, a hater of forced masculinization. Why? Because I dared to misspeak, once? Because I had the gall to be a transfeminist, to speak up against our brothers who would have us silent, and subalternized?

Every few days, I see more people transmitting this blatantly false idea, that i would hate transgender men. That i would think them subject to no hardship.

Of course I do not hate my brothers. Some of them are close friends. Kind souls who I would never dream to leave behind. Some of them are people who I always find pleasant to talk with, about complex matters. Some of them were instrumental in helping me become the person I am today. I never could, in truth, hate them.

No, it is I who must ask you. Why do you ask? Why, do you think, this is a question worth asking, one whose answer may indeed be up for questioning. What does that betray about you, about your view of me?

Do you ask the feminist if she wants men in her life? The black right activist if they even want to see a white person ever again? What is this charade of yours? Not just of you as a person, but as a group. As a singularly motivated group, who only begs to know this, burning, scalding answer. Needing, begging.

I will tell you what you asking this means. You may not see it, within you, but look. You will find a spark of truth, if you are willing to do so.

In the end, yes, what does it mean, that the transfeminist is asked if she wishes to have transgender men in her life? It is the equating of this very transfeminism, this advocation for the rights and respect of transfeminized people, with a simple distaste for our brothers. It is the turning of a political movement into a farce, a personal vendetta. The admission that the only reason one could have issue with our trans brothers, is not out of any power they may wield over us, but instead, of a simple, petty, hatred. An all consuming jealousy, or a wish to obtain all public opinion for ourselves.

What does it mean you feel this question worth asking? Ask yourself this. Ask yourself, why is it that there exist places where I am spoken of, in hushed tones, as a horrible person, degendered, silenced. Where easy lies, easy to spread, and would-be easy to disprove if they cared for it, are circled around, around people that number in the hundreds. What does it mean indeed, when in the same sentence they put me down, they laud the man responsible for much of my harassment? What does it mean that lies about transfems are so, so easy to spread? What does it mean, when a man blames a woman for his percieved lack of visibility?

What does it mean, when a woman’s voicing of her opinions, of her struggles, is taken as hate? What does this do to the woman, what is the end goal?

It means, be silent. Stop speaking up, remember your place.

[lunaandco]

guys my age; part two

pairing: alexia putellas x ofc

summary: claudia is getting on alexia's nerves. a punishment was long coming

warnings: smut, spanking, age difference, power imbalance, angst

author's note: many wanted a part 2, and i usually deny any request, but after i had this idea i kinda had to... there will be a final 3rd part and that will be it!

masterlist // part one // series masterlist // I do not take requests

Claudia was doing it on purpose. Alexia watched her as she sat on Salma's lap, giggling about something she was showing her on her phone, her pretty smile directed towards someone other than herself.

Alexia knew she was being punished, in a childish petty way. Claudia was pissed at being denied more of their illicit activities, since Alexia insisted their one off in the hotel room had been a unique mistake that would not happen again.

She should be happy Claudia was finding someone else to be with, but jealousy was blinding her completely.

Alexia needed a full intervention, if she wanted to keep her dignity and reputation. A twenty year old starlet could not be the end of her.

The worst thing was, it was starting to be obvious. The night before, Irene had looked at her with an arched eyebrow and the knowing curl in her lips of a woman that was being lied to her face, when Alexia said nothing was going on with Claudia.

She obviously ended up caving. Irene was not necessarily approving, but she didn't blow off at her either.

"Sometimes we want thing that we can't have," she told her. "Be wise, capi."

Alexia hated how much that nickname reminded her of Claudia and what happened between them.

"Capi?" Alexia shot her gaze back to Claudia, who had left Salma's lap to approach her silently. "Can you take me home, please?"

"Can't Salma do it?" Alexia didn't mean to be rude, but as they got closer, Claudia started to get lifts almost exclusively from Salma.

"She's got family stuff she can't be late for."

"Ah."

Alexia should come up with an excuse. Say she also had something with her family or a dentist appointment. But just as it was unprofessional to sleep with her players as a captain, it was to avoid them at all costs.

So she ended up leading Claudia to her car, heart risen to her throat as she watched the youngster buckle up her seat belt. They had been in this situation cuntless times, but this was the first since they had... well, Alexia did not want to think about it too hard.

It would get her in trouble.

Claudia didn't seem to care about the tension—or percieve it at all—as she connected her phone to the Bluetooth to put her own playlist, humming one song or another.

"You've been avoiding me," she stated calmly.

"I—" Alexia didn't want to deny it, it would only add gasloghting to the list of crimen she had committed up until now. "We should keep a profesional distance. That is what I'm trying to do."

"Bullshit."

"I'm sorry?"

"I said bullshit."

Claudia's eyes were blazing with emotion.

"You want me. I can see it." Claudia's whole body was turned towards Alexia.

"Claudia we..."

"No. You. All our issues are actually your fears." Fire started filling Alexia's veins. "You're just a coward. You don't have the balls to take what you wan—"

Alexia took the wrong turn, and began driving in direction to her home, not Claudia's. It was closer and it had private parking. And her bed was there, if things escalated. Which theye were going to.

"What—"

"Silence."

Claudia gulped, the fight gone from her body. Alexia might have skipped a few traffic laws in order to get them there sooner, parking in her garden and exiting the car immediately. She swung open the passengers door, grabbing Claudia by the arm and quite literally dragging her inside.

The girl had very little time to stare at her surroundings and drink in Alexia's living space, before they reached the bedroom. She was not going to cower under Alexia's wrath, though. With a quick turn, that drove rival players insane, Claudia got on her tip toes and kissed Alexia, relishing in the way the captain returned the kiss.

But a sharp slap hit her ass.

"You need to be taught a lesson on repeat," decided Alexia. "I am your captain. For better or for worse. You will address me as such."

"Yes, capi," she breathed. Alexia gasped. She was still not used to that fucking nickname coming out of Claudia's pretty pink lips.

Still, she was not deterred. Alexia helped Claudia strip, who obeyed without protest, too enthralled by Alexia's sudden burst of passion. It was what she had been hoping for, by being a little more touchy with Salma than was necessary.

Once she was completely nude, Alexia sat on her bed, still dressed. She palmed her lap a clear non-verbal order. Claudia draped herself across her thighs, her ass right in front of Alexia, who squeezed one cheek.

"I presume you already know what is going to happen, you've been hoping for it, haven't you?"

"Yes, capi."

"You wanted this?" A harsh slap fell on the cheek she had been groping.

"Yes, capi."

"You understand this is a punishment, not a reward?"

"Yes, capi."

Another harsh slap on the other thigh.

"I would give you a count, but I don't want you to know how much is left."

Claudia gasped. It was as if Alexia already knew what she needed. The onslaught on her ass was non stopping. Tears were streaming down her cheeks, as she cried out. Claudia loved it.

Once her vision was blurry, and her throat was dry, Alexia's hand returned to gently squeeze the reddened skin.

"You were good, baby," she praised.

"Thank you, capi."

💙❤️

Claudia woke up later that evening. The sun was long gone, there was a dull throb on her backside, that had been clearly treated for the bruises with cream. A blanket was thrown over her body, and Alexia was sitting in silence by the foot of the bed.

"Capi?" she called with a stuttering voice.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you sure?"

Alexia's face was lined with worry. Claudia's body tensed, as if she could feel the thoughts swirling through her captain's head.

"Yeah," she whispered. "I really liked it, earlier. I—"

"It should not happen again."

Ah.

Claudia knew this would happen, in the back of her mind. Alexia clearly wanted her, there were already two instances of her doing exactly what she said they shouldn't, but the rejection still stung.

"Oh, c'mon. It's not a bad thing, I know you're hungry up with the age difference, and the captain thing, but I'm sure there is a way for HR to—"

"I said no, Claudia."

"Alright."

Furiously, Claudia got up from the bed, quickly finding her clothes and putting them on, even if it ached in the bruised areas of her ass. If Alexia still insisted she didn't want her, then Caludia would not beg forever.

"Wait, let me wash you up and make you some dinner at le—"

"No!" Interrupted Cludia with tears of frustration streaming down her face. "You don't get to reject me and then have aftercare. If you want to be all sweet and attentive, then fucking date me!"

Alexia looked hurt, but Caludia didn't care, storming off the house.

[moonveiltarot]

What in the FUCK is their PROBLEM with you?! PT 2. quickie reading

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　˚　.　　 . ✦

As usual this is for entertainment purposes only, not everything will resonate with everyone, I am not a professional, this is not advice.

Four piles to choose from again.

What is that person's actual problem with you pt 2?! This can be the same person you asked about in the previous reading or a different one.

These types of readings can make us feel seen / heard when we're dealing with a literal c**t bag. ):

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　˚　.　　 . ✦

1.) songs: deserve each other - bludnymph. the cost of giving up - poppy. astrology: leo, aquarius, sagittarius, pisces

They showed their bare a$$. Or basically they showed their true colors. They liked being sneaky; scheming, plotting and executing their evil plans. This brought them joy and false sense of power.

You knowing the truth of what they did or how they move ripped that pleasure right out of their soul. You snatched that mask right off of that person's face.

You saw their behaviors and maybe even warned others of them. Regardless of whether other people knew / did anything about it or not, you distanced yourself and you cut them off (or you will, because you're smart).

Some of you drawn to this reading, you might even have evidence to drop or already have posted, shared or spread the information.

They hate that their true colors are out for all to see. You exposed or soon will expose their insecurities and make them feel put in the spotlight, but in a bad way. Like they're having everything they did wrong illuminated.

If they had help or helped someone destroy your life, relationship, friendship or anything that you cared about, out of sheer meanness, they are stuck with that group. They hate each other and are at each others' throats. They all are afraid of someone going rogue.

They may have done something so evil it had your mental health in a chokehold. You have seen some serious darkness in them. They are so deeply disturbed over the fact that you know exactly what is up.

2.) songs: zombified - falling in reverse. my demons - starset. astrology: gemini, aquarius, taurus (may specifically?), virgo

They get a front row seat to seeing you win. You're coming into a season of abundance ad blessings.

Or you just won something and it garnered attention. This could be a game, triatholon, a scratchcard, a baby shower game… anything where you won.

They have to watch you eat a feast that they wish they deserved. They could have tried to knock you off your throne. Seeing you in an abundant position makes them feel incredibly "lacking" in a particular area. Which area? It depends on your person and their insecurities. Like they might have a lack mindset or insecurities about how their percieved by the public… Hm. Pile 3 has messages about people wantingto be perceived a certain way in the public, so check it out if you're drawn to.

This is a greedy, jealous and almost delusional person. Their sense of entitlement is not right. This person may seem to have everything handed to them, but you may have noticed not very many people are around them. Like they have one simp and a cousin that is overly attached to them for some reason. Oddly specific example … anyway, this person is not adored in the same way you are. They feel like you're being given something and they think "why not MEEEE?! who does pile 2 think they are?!" I specifically heard "who does she think she is??" but place your own pronouns if this resonates.

This individual is vengeful. You ARE protected. They are about to show everyone how greedy they really are with an act of enraged entitlement. Others will not be scared or impressed, only disgusted. They will avoid this person and stop viewing them as a human. They will block this person out for good. The person you inquired about, pile 2, is sadly mentally incapable of having empathy.

Your light doesn't touch them, they cannot understand it. They only understand it is something valuable to be held and adored, to be looked upon with love and appreciation. But you know it was Hell and High water to get the privilege you have. This person is jealous and doesn't even have the capacity, mentally, to understand. Note: This person is out of touch partly because of social media. Maybe they have an addiction to it or only live online? They think real-world consequences do not exist / adhere to them. They are truly out of touch. Touching grass is not enough to fix them. They need a 5150. Stat

3.) songs: the devil is a gentleman - merci raines. fairly local - twenty one pilots. paint the town red - doja cat. astrology: cancer, libra, leo year of the dog, valentine's day?, capricorn, january 1st … so that was random and not just astrology, but i'mma leave it here.

This person sees you being percieved by the public in the same way they want to be. They like how the public responds to you and want it for themself. They want to be like you and they might even want to have your partner too. Or they want to be your partner and take your current partner's place. They see you enjoying something beautiful. A truly happy marriage or relationship. They are going to try to turn you against someone who is actually good for you.

They will try to disguise themself as a true friend. They will lie and deceive as often as they have to in order to maintain their public image. They are fake as fuuuuuuccckkkkk, pile 3. You might have even fallen for it.

They want others to think it's you or your partner / friend that is the deceptive one, but it's them. Their a liar… they plan to gossip and scheme while you aren't around.

Ugh, if they invited you into a friend group, the others are afraid to talk to you. They are afraid to talk to you because of something this person has done or said. They are afraid of hurting this person's feelings. Or afraid of this person's reaction. They are probably confused, but since it's the "clique-ish" thing to do, they decided to turn their backs on you too. They might be kind to you, but just barely acknowledge you, looking back to the person you asked about. And then back to you. Then back to the person. Just awkward vibes. Because they aren't mean by design. They just fear the social consequences of upsetting or doing wrong by your person.

This could be someone who is relatively popular who sees that you have some kind of talent of any sort. If you don't already, you possibly could. If you got a platform, this scares this person.

You know what they are really like behind closed doors too. They know you know who they are.

They are evil as Hell and they act all goody-two-shoes on the surface. They are vindictive, jealous and mean. This slips out in passive aggressive ways. They give "spoiled bitch princess who acts like they never do anything wrong and have main character syndrome and act like their bratty bullshit is actually adorable to anyone on the planet." Long winded, but true. The thing is, it's forced. You won't let them impose themselves on you or what you have going on. You won't gossip with them. You shut that shit down. You aren't evil like them, you're genuine and that's why they perceive you as a threat.

You probably noticed some passive aggressive behavior from them. Relative, co-worker, colleague, peer of some sort, ex friend, ex partner… whatever they are to you, they are jealous of you period. They know that you could dethrone them in front of god and every body, so they're doing dirty work and fast to make it look like you're way more evil than you are. They are setting up scenarios too. But people are catching on. They're in such a hurry to do this stupid shit others are able to see it. Like they won't talk? If they gossiped with your person, they will gossip with each other about your person.

Anyway, don't worry about this. Their insecurities and immaturity is so sad and pathetic. It's obvious to everyone they run to. They're destroying their own image. Their jealousy is destroying them. Because they are too motivated by it.

You're also in your own stratosphere and they can't infiltrate. Here's an example: You cosplay or are in a band or something. They are cookie cutter prep. You post a hot cosplay that gets lots of attention, maybe a week or two before Halloween. Come Halloween, this person has a shabby costume and it looks like a direct rip off of your own cosplay or it's from the same cartoon or series. Just one obvious example. It's annoying, but not dangerous. Your strength of character and actions speak for you. Your buddies or friends, or even just yourself, in this situation are like ... "bro is this person okay? Like??? Dafuq?" They think they are competing and eating you up, but they don't even understand the culture. They aren't some new person trying to gain inspo or be like you, they are trying to out do you and simply lack what it takes. They probably don't even notice this about themselves.

The icing on this shit cake is that you. do. not. even. give. a. damn. You don't even care about / aren't even affected by their bullying tactics. It's giving toddler trying to bullying a grown ass adult, but physically everyone in the situation is grown up.

4.) song: It's 3am, come ride with me.. by Ksunemoto (this is a midnight rides on a motorcycle kind of reading). astrology: gemini, pisces, sagittarius, aquarius

This person wants to skin walk you. They are scary … I mean, I can see that their mind is twisted up. This is a person who could become truly empty and unempathetic. I don't want you to be scared or think you're gonna be a true crime victim. I'm seeing it not going that far. You probably already know this person is being weird around you. They are stalking you to be like you. If you EVER feel like you're in danger from someone tell the proper authorities. This will be a guidance counselor or police. The police aren't saviors, but having this on record is a good idea. Anyway, only if they truly scare you.

I don't like to give scary messages. So, know that you are protected from this person. They are going to end up making themselves look embarrassing. The potential of them doing something crazy is there, I can see that. But I know they won't go that far. You are so protected from this. This person is a social pariah, really. They try to emulate humans and just keep failing to do so. It's kind of sad… but they are bothering you because they keep showing up. They might just stare from afar.

I see that this person has had a hard time integrating with peers and society in general. Instead of owning that, they are trying to become someone others like and admire. They think this about you. The truth, that they may not even see, is that they are the one pedestalizing you. They think you are cool and beloved and everything they think they have to be in order to be loved, adored, like, accepted etc.

They may have been shamed out of being their natural self and so they have resentment and admiration both. This makes me sad, but you cannot be their friend.

Keep your distance. They are too sick right now to understand friendship, how to hold onto it and how to appreciate it. They are vengeful and angry, not with you per se, but with society. They resent you for having what they believe they never could.

They are in this loop because they keep trying to fit into society's mold of "perfect" or "ideal." They haven't yet learned that there is so much pwoer in their authenticity. This person may have even killed that part of themself. Their inner child may be… gone. Permanently.

There is no need to try and help, just go your own way and avoid run ins with them if possible. Keep your distance and they will find someone else to latch onto. For some readers: This person could be ND (neurodivergent) and if that's the case, they are just observing you, but do not have an actual problem with you. Have compassion for them, be kind and move about your life.

Disclaimer: Hey, so … I know tarot is not a tool for diagnosing, treating or advising anyone about mental health or disorders of any sort. I'm not trying to do that. My readings are colored by the experiences I've had. I'm using the examples spirit is bringing to my mind. That's all. As always, tarot is just a tool to see where you are on your journey. Always use your best judgement, this is not advice and I am *not* a professional of any sort. You can always manifest a different circumstance and a different outcome for any situation. Simply demand your desire and proclaim it as already done. Be safe, well wishes, toodle-oo~ 💖

[iamfuckingsorry]

so i really didn't like fugitive telemetry nearly as much as the rest of the series on my first listen, in part because i spent a big chunk of it confused about what the hell i missed because i was listening to it in publishing order, and in part because mb spends a great deal of it feeling super uncomfortable about basically everything

but i'm listening to it again now and i can really see why people seem to like it.

mb's really struggling with its identity in this one oh god. it knows it's a secunit it wants to be a secunit it is not a human or a bot or anything else and it does not want to be treated as anything else but what it is. but it also. fucking hates being treated as a secunit. and it's especially bad because so many of the people on preservation are trying to be nice about it, like there's several instances of people going "oh hi--- oh wait fuck the feed id says secunit oh shit it's the secunit--- wait no calm tf down it has rights yeah i know it's scary af but you still need to treat it like a person oh god okay let's be weirdly polite and pretend you're not scared" and mb clearly hates that immediate reaction to what it is, but it seems to hate people forcing themselves to be aggressively polite around it just as much, because at least that immediate reaction is what it's used to

ah mb both wanting to be equal and being horribly freaked out by the idea of being equal because equal means human and the idea of being human is so incredibly gross will never stop being entertaining (and very very relatable)

pin lee is also just so aggressively in mb's corner, she doesn't really play /that/ big of a role in the book but she's 100% fighting for mb basically from the moment it comes back to save mensah in exit strategy, and here mb just needs to be like "ew i don't wanna do that" and pin lee feels like she would fucking. kill someone. to make sure mb doesn't need to do things it doesn't wanna do. can i also get a pin lee please.

also the bit where mb talks about people seeing it on tv or something? i can't remember if it's the documentary or if it maybe comes up in another context but there's definitely a part where mb talks about how it wouldn't mind that actually. and knowing what happens later on i'm just like. ahhhh foreshadowing!! nice!!

and it gets to do proper secunit stuff! it's so happy about it, like "yes i liked this plan better. partially because it was a better plan but also because it was a secunit plan, not a combatunit plan". like i know we all (me included) wonder if/what kind of sexual abuse mb's been through the way it reacts to maybe being percieved as a sexbot and stuff, but it also clearly doesn't want to be perceived as any other kind of construct either. it's not a comfortunit, it's not a combatunit, it's a secunit goddamnit (insert bones "im a doctor not an ---" gif here)

and the way it just. doesn't understand the preservation bots at all. jollybaby probably thinks it's being all cute and friendly including and mb just finds it. annoying. the other bots are a variety of genuinely friendly and lowkey an ass but doing the same Nice and Polite thing that some of the preservation humans do to it, and mb feels all sorts of ways about it, like if all of them are playing some kind of weird game where they roleplay as happy content bots even though they couldn't possibly be since they're not really free

and its relationship with indah, and the way it goes from "ugh i hate this human" (because said human is very much treating it like a dangerous murder weapon, very fair reaction) to "ugh i still don't like this human but i wouldn't necessarily /hate/ having to work with her again" (because said human has actually started to realize that secunit 1. fucking loves saving people is just can't help itself, 2. is actually fucking amazing at its job, and 3. maybe really does deserve to be treated like a person)... like they're not friends by the end of it but they're much, much closer to something like coworkers who don't work the same way but are generally fairly okay with each other. god it just can't fucking help making some kind of connection with humans can it

anyway i dunno where i was going with this, my memory is too shit to actually pull up any specific examples and i'm all just about vibes, but it's just like

good book actually

[mxrcurysb1tch]

Rating my astrology placements (and yours... maybe)

Inspired by @abyssalfaith

Cancer venus- 8/10 I feel like I feel this one quite strongly. I fall in love (or the idea of it lol) quite quickly and I can really romanticise people. I can't always tell if I am in love with someone or just really admire them platonically, which is a bit confusing ngl. I can never have a crush on more than one person at once. I have so much empathy and love for my friends and I'd genuinely do anything for them. I think there is so much beauty in longing and just emotions in general. ALSO I am obsessed with the friends to lovers trope.

Gemini rising- 9/10 Honestly if it wasn't for this placement I'd be the biggest freaking recluse ever. I literally have to give my opinion/share my experiences on everything especially online lol. I find socialising very exciting. My mind is all over the place and I have so many conflicting thoughts at once. Very adaptable, good at blending in with social situations. Having a broad knowledge of a lot of things is helpful too but sometimes I struggle when it gets too specific. I luuuurve being percieved as witty and funny. Sometimes I find it difficult to calm down or to focus on one thing. ALWAYS losing, dropping, forgetting stuff. INDECISIVE AF and childish in a good way.

4h Stellium- (sun, mars, mercury, jupiter) 6/10 Honestly have a love/hate thing with this one. I have such a weird relationship w/ my family, especially extended family. I love my home and I feel deeply connected to it, especially that I've lived in the same house all my life. My home is a sanctury to me and I want it to be as cozy as possible. Being an only child, it has always been my dream to grow up and have a fairly big family, 3-4 kids.

Capricorn moon- 7/10 Sometimes I wish I was more able to be soft. I am very nurturing but in my own way. So loyal and steady and reliable and strong but people don't always appreciate these things. Emotional nurturance growing up was almost non existent. Very sensitive underneath. This placement is kind of like an armour. I have to say though, although I am very dedicated to my work and use it to avoid my feelings, I have never met a capricorn moon that wants a corporate job and is the stereotypical 'workaholic'. We're actually susceptible to getting burnt out pretty easily. Very cautious even when I was a kid, hate taking risks. The pessimistic thing is absolutely true though, we're just good at hiding it.

2h venus and saturn- 8/10 I have never really had to worry about money which is great. Tricky relationship w/ food for most of my life but I really do love it and use it as a comfort.

8h moon- 5/10 This is a placement that everyone knows sucks. And yeah it kinda does especially as a child. Financial and physical support, big inheritance from family but basically no emotional support at all (+ capricorn so you can imagine). Guilt and other very heavy emotions imposed by family. BUT I do feel like this is a very baddass placement. I can feel the energy of people and places without even having the words to describe it. I have become very good at knowing who is good for me and who is not. I can always see things coming ages before it happens. Doesn't mean I listen to it though LOL so I am always disappointed but never surprised.

Leo mercury (retrograde) 6/10 Oh man. Having mercury retrograde is interesting. Leo mercuries are funny and bright and communicate with 'flare' I feel like. And while I do this to a certain extent, it can get a bit convoluted along the way. I am a pretty entertaining storyteller, I talk fast, I am pretty dramatic (outwardly at least) and I love making people laugh and love talking. I dislike small talk, I just kind of find it boring and pointless and kind of uncomfortable at times but I can do it fairly well, its not like I don't know how to, I would just prefer not to. (I feel like being a gemini rising kind of counteracts some of the issues I have with mercury being rx in my chart). Im very introspective but I think about myself way too much, too much internal jumbled dialogue, like pls just SHUT UP. Growing up I LOVED being on stage and I would still probably be doing it had life not taken me down a different path.

[madaras-tits]

A pattern that I've seen in the Naruto fandom over the years, is that everyone wants their "favorite character" to be Sasuke.

What I mean by this is that when you see a rewrite of a minor character like Sakura, Neji, or anyone of the other konoha 11, its usually something along the lines of " oooh what if they left the village and got back at all the people that hurt them and joined the Akatsuki!!!"

You mean Sasuke? Why not just talk about Sasuke? Clearly you don't like your fave that much If their traits are so interchangable to you, and those traits also very clearly belong to Sasuke. So why not just discuss Sasuke instead?

One reason i can find for this, is that people Interpret Sasuke as slightly arrogant since we're percieving the story from Naruto's side, who sees everything Sasuke does as arrogant, because he didn't understand him and his goals for a large part of the story. But its also up to the reader to see things like these? Tbh i just don't get it. People hate Sasuke, but want all of their faves to be sasuke.