#and he probably never planned on telling mikey the truth too!! just wanted to stick by his side and let no one get the king :(

[exhaustedhours]

on another note, i finally don't dislike sanzu

[beautiful-monsters-raging]

but use your freedom of choice

(while you still can) Title taken from the song Freedom of Choice by DEVOVision.

Leo has something to tell Usagi.

_____

Trigger warnings include vomiting, fears of rejection, brief mentions of dysphoria, discussion of abortion and abortion-related politics (although the last one you should already be prepared for on this blog).

This is a story from a larger collection that you can read on my AO3 (that series has its own tags, make sure to read them all)

"I'm pregnant."  

The words don't emerge so much as escape, slipping from Leo's mouth as he and Usagi wash dishes together. He wants to grab them from the air, take them back, but it's too late. A dish slips from Usagi's hands and crashes into the sink, pieces shattering everywhere.  

Leo had had a plan. A scheme, really, a cunning and clever scheme. He'd be subtle about it, carefully feel out Usagi's perspective on choice and free will and whatnot, test the waters. He'd do it all himself, this time, so his brothers wouldn't accidentally help him into a disaster like his coming out had been (would have been, but Usagi had been so understanding, and really there was no way Leo could be so lucky twice, but)  

Anyway. He'd planned to get Usagi alone after dinner, make out with him a little, that would help things, right? Or would Usagi feel manipulated? He should have looked up the role horniness played in these types of conversations; someone must have written something. He should have, should have, should have...  

The thing is, Leo's brain is on the whole a whirling mess by now, and he's not thinking nearly as clearly or carefully as he ought to. So, when Usagi comments about how Leo’s been moving a little stiffly recently, is everything all right, all those carefully planned excuses go straight to hell and what comes out is the absolute, damning truth.  

"You guys okay?" Mikey calls from the living room, where Leo's brothers are watching TV and pretending not to be staying nearby "just in case." Like Leo wouldn't be able to handle Usagi on his own if...if he....  

Maybe it's considering the possible consequences of his latest fuckup, maybe it's just the fact that his body has been hijacked by a goddamn parasite, but Leo's dashing to the trash can before he can think, falling to his knees and throwing up. Ice Cream Kitty sticks her head out of the freezer, giving him a sympathetic whine, and oh god, the fucking cat's going to hear whatever comes next, isn't she?  

"We're fine!" Usagi calls back, voice slightly strangled. He hurries over to Leo's side, dropping to his knees and rubbing his shell.  

"Breathe, Leonardo, it's all right." His voice is so fucking tender Leo wants to sob, so he does, spitting up tears and snot and vomit and ugh, he's so gross. But that doesn't faze Usagi, it never has, and he holds on to Leo until the puking stops.  

Leo slumps over the edge of the trash can, panting, staring directly down at his radically altered dinner. For a wild moment he thinks he's somehow managed to spit it up, pulled off a miracle reverse miscarriage to get out of this conversation, but no such luck.  

Usagi stops rubbing his back, taking a slow, deep breath. "Leonardo--"  

"I'm getting rid of it." He doesn't look away, can't face hope or rage or whatever nightmare he's going to see in Usagi's eyes. "I...I can't--I'm not ready to be a parent, 'Sagi. I don't know if I'll ever be ready, and if I did it wouldn't be by--" He cuts himself off, breath suddenly strangled in his throat.  

The thought of laying an egg is sickening; Leo doesn't know what he would have done if Donnie, amazing Donnie, hadn't studied his unique anatomy over the years, until he was prepared for such an eventuality to give Leo the exact kind of care he needed. If it hadn't been for him, Leo would be...  

Well. Probably as screwed over as a significant chunk of birthing humans in America at the moment, to be honest.  

But he might be still screwed, in his own way. Leo forces himself to sit up and turn to face Usagi, blinking away tears. Fucking hormones making him want to cry all the time.  

"I'm sorry," he gasps. "I'm so sorry, Usagi, I don't want to take this away from you, but I have to, I need to, and I'm sorry, I know you wanted to give Jotaro a sibling someday, maybe, but I--"  

"Leonardo," Usagi cuts him off. He looks, he looks almost angry and Leo's going to fucking hurl again--  

"Leonardo, why in all the worlds would you think little enough of me to assume I would deny you your choice?"  

Leo blinks, stares. "....What?"  

"Maybe," Usagi reminds him gently, "and some day. And never in a million years, not if the price meant bringing pain to someone I loved."  

"I..." Leo's heart is fluttering, or maybe it's the parasite sucking his innards dry.  

"You are real, Leonardo. You will always be more important to me than some dry possibility. And if I was a man who felt otherwise, I would not be worth your time."  

Leo stares at him for a few seconds, then bursts into tears, slumping forward into Usagi's arms and weeping like a fucking child. Relief shudders through his bones, relief and the raw aftereffects of fear, pressure popped like a balloon.  

"I love you, Leonardo," Usagi says, planting a kiss on his head. "I always will. Nothing you do with your body can change that."  

He holds Leo until the crying stops, just like he did with the puking, only Leo doesn't feel disgusting anymore. He feels safe, he feels loved, and he clings on to that feeling--to Usagi--with everything he has.

______

Author's Note:

I am, thankfully, in a state that is still firmly pro-choice. But this attack on my rights is sickening, and I wish allsupport and compassion in the world to my sisters, brothers, and siblings who aren't so lucky. I love you.

[loneworldgazer]

what if you were their personal helper?

a/n: im biased on all of these because basically you're special to them in a type of way

part 2

warnings: chapter 189-206 spoilers‼‼, suggestive, violence mentions

sanzu

you would be his personal cook that mikey assigned

you really worked hard at making the best dishes for sanzu (1. 50/50 chance of getting killed because you might never know with his pill popping ass and 2. you don't want to purposely mess up good ingredients)

sanzu though, really loves your dishes

he would say horrendous compliments like how he was about to have an orgasm biting into the steak minutes ago (rindou looks up at him from his laptop in disgust while ran scoffs in amusement)

ran suggested to maybe gift you something or pay a visit to whoever is cooking his meals and damn well sanzu was thrilled to hear that idea and was ready to work on it

(the haitani brothers thought the same, that you were probably going to shit your pants if bonten's number 2 suddenly appeared right beside you out of nowhere)

the very next day, his preffered time of lunch was much more later than the others so it's pretty normal for the others to not see him at the table and knowing that he's doing his own business

but this is completely different than what he usually does, he's looking for you! and there you were, in the flesh and busy preparing his meal

you look rather panicked, oh how many guesses he had. it was near his lunch time, you cooked the wrong meal, you're panicking about the slighest things or you thought you were doing it wrong

turns out you just wanted to cut the right size of tomatoes because you cut one ridiculously large chunk so you huffed and picked another tomato and nearly laughed at your stupidity

well sanzu was correct in some ways but you were just minutes away in finishing so he watched

with every second he stepped closer and the closer he got which was just right over your shoulder, you squeled because 1) creepy and 2) his breath was tickling your neck that you just had to make noise

you grabbed your wrist and your finger bled, in the state of suprise you accidently cut your thumb, luckily it was only a little so you rushed to the sink to wash it off

sanzu had a smile on his face, oh woops accidently shocked a poor person by breathing on them so the best he could do was offering a bandaid that was in his pocket

you glanced at his arm and saw the bonten tattoo inked on it so your eyes lit up in fear in why a bonten member is up infront of you

you gulped and he couldn't help but giggle to how terrified you looked and he twirled the plate that his food on it

"you're almost finished with my food, huh? quickly, you have a few seconds" you looked at him again but with genuine curiousity and suprise that said "sanzu haruchiyo? what is he doing here?"

your thoughts swirled in your head in chaos, finishing up his food and the waiter that were to take his food entered the kitchen

he froze in the doorway, recognizing the feared bonten 2 and sanzu asked him to go away by simply motioning it with his hand as well as adding in a "if you don't go, i'll kill you" by doing a slashing motion across his neck, you did not know how fast the waiter walked out of there

sanzu carried his plate towards the table your partners and you ate at and sat there, tilting his head when you stayed at the same spot

"sit here, i wanna talk" shitting your pants is a understatement, dying should be the right term

but no worries when you sat down, he smiled again with his eyes closed (though you're not sure what kind of smile was this, his rare ones? because if it is then you can make it out of here without being out in a grave)

let's just say he was interested in you and he said quite some nice words to you, this won't be the first time he'll crash into your life and have moments of talking to you after all, you're his cook right?

you're just lucky enough when he decides that you're one of the few pieces he'll cherish in his life, one he wouldn't kill but respect deeply and stick around with

kokonoi

you were his respectable assistant that deals with errands, well a more better term is a spy

you listened to conversations about bonten in the dark and sneak off to inform the others, first of all koko of course

your relationship between him was proffesional and all, reporting about what bonten enemies have said, nod and leave

but there was a time where he finally got to know you a bit better

you were a bit later than the time he asked for you to come to his office after your work, about 10 minutes atleast and he raised his eyebrow at you when you slipped into his office out of breath but quickly regain it as to not piss him off any further

"sorry sir, i got attacked" attacked you say? he got up from his seat, slowly approacing you and you sweat

overall his demeanor was cocky and all but you've never seen a scary side so supposingly it's okay for you to not feel threatened but would he really be angry at you for getting attacked?

"i don't see any bruises on you, did you really get attacked?" that sly grin showcased itself, he felt the taste of a lie coming but it didn't when you spoke up again

"i fought back sir, with this." you pulled out the staff, pressing the button to open it and twirled it over for him to see

it was the staff he gave, well actually showed off when he opened the weapons room, telling you to atleast get a weapon to defend yourself, if you can even though (he halfly joked at the end with his tongue out)

you told him that it was the gang that was still gaining these "leaks and secrets" or so to speak, are the ones rindou falsely put out in the open and the gang planned to go to one of the secret bases that bonten usually went to

besides what you say is necessary information but he circled around you in silence and decided to try to hit your head but you smack his hand away with the staff

he went for your neck but you swiftly wack the staff into his waist and he groaned, impressed

he was about to say something but sanzu interrupted by opening the door without knocking and almost bumped koko with the door

"heheh sorry, can i borrow your assistant, come come~" sanzu sung out but koko shooed him away, wanting some time to talk to you but pink crazed bastard wanted to talk to you so he shut the door on him and yelled at him to go away for a moment

after that day, more people seem to recognize and fought with you

it would pretty ironic if koko were to be the one ordering them to attack you

" i wanna see you fight more" whatever he says, you just hope it actually isn't him sending mofos to attack you because that would be a d!ck move

but he didn't, one of the bonten members revealed that a little spy is watching them from above like the idiots they were that they bumbled out their secrets for the spy to hear (guess who)

so he rewards you, after the hell you went through, you better be gifted

extra!!:

"may i measure you?" you looked back at the person in shock as they smiled warmly at you and you suspiciously glared at them, reaching slowly for your staff.

"sir kokonoi has asked to measure you." they went to stretch out the measuring tape and held it around your waist, you hesitated on holding up your shirt because of how ticklish and feathery their fingers were. this was all too sudden but you go along with it.

while you twist your shirt up, they placed a note in your back pocket and you questioned on why did they do that, you reached it while they're measuring your legs.

"i'll send someone in to measure your size for your clothing, do you also want lingerie to be part of your gift too?~" the note said and you nearly stumbled into the tailor when you tried rereading it all over again.

"what colour do you want? do you want a matching set?" "no!!"

(koko's probably pissing himself right now, trying to imagine your panicky expression, laughing like a maniac in his office)

ran

you worked as his personal maid and he admired how careful you were

you were pretty noticeable since you took your time on one thing at a time like dusting off shelves and cupboards for a long moment or scrubbing away at the dirt in the plate that stuck too long there (i mean it's reasonable but you stressed over it for a few minutes)

he approached at some times to check on you and he would smile sadistically at times when you look at him like a deer in headlights, wondering what you did wrong to make him approach you himself

he just wanted to praise and point out some of your habits which you rubbed your neck to and nodded to do better next time

it also gave him a chance to see your stretched arm and your hands, especially your knuckles more better than afar (not in a creepy way)

your knuckles were deep red and would have cuts over it and he would leave at that but it got too much for him whenever he came to you and it kept getting worse

he popped the question when you moved his flowers into a pot to sit in the sun when your hands were all bandaged up

"why has the condition of your hands worsen everytime i come to you?" so he did notice, you sighed and told him the truth while you rubbed your bandaged knuckles

"people are picking on me so hitting their faces makes my knuckles hurt and become ugly each time i return back here" he was suprised that you even used your fists and he held your hands and spoke softly

"you didn't use the baton i gave you?" you feel yourself burn, you had to pull away from him and you wanted to jog off into the sun but you akwardly shrugged instead

"i'm a lot more used to using fists to fight plus i.. might have hit my face with the baton once" his laugh was sugary sweet, the rarest you've ever heard but he was laughing at your mistake so you bit your tongue and fumed, going back to arranging his flowers (that he's probably allergic to but keeps them around cause they're pretty💀)

he patted your shoulder, casually correcting himself that it was cute that atleast you did try to use the baton that he lended to you

"i'll teach you, every evening at around 4, i'll train you to use the baton so it's less work for your fists and more for your baton." you responded that mikey had his meal around that time and you had to clean the table cloth after he eats, shyly you admit that he tends to be a little messy when eating

ran smiled, stuffing his hands into his pockets and going off after insulting you one last time

"i'm impressed that you're more careful with the table cloth than your own hands" and that ends the evening with you screaming into your hands because of how frustating, ran haitani bonten executive was

extra!!:

"now i really need you to be honest with me, how do you even fight with your fists?" "your brother teaches me how to break their limbs but i accidently graze the floor sometimes because of how tough the enemy is"

well that was pretty shocking, he looks at you with suprise in his eyes, you also looked at him suprised, you just didn't know how expressive he was and you're finding out about them because of these 4pm sessions.

"doesn't he have a maid that helps him out?" "he says i make great coffee" ran grumbled that you shouldn't even serve a fucker who drinks coffee in the first place and you couldn't help laughing. in exchange for the love of coffee, rindou might as well train you. he's not blind, he sees the bruises on your hands when you return back to the headquarters.

(and to maybe trigger ran a little since he was the one mainly teaching reader his fighting style and not ran and his lame ass baton and he just stole his maid for a few seconds, might as well train them as a reward)

"show me a better compliment and i might stop serving him" "you're good with your hands" you smirked and got up and tapped his shoulders with the baton, teasing him into giving you more compliments

"shut it now before i use my hands to shut you up" "you may at anytime" and he did, now you can imagine what he did lol

[babydaddyleorio]

hello hope your day/noon/night is going well and i just want to tell you that your writings are amazing & enjoyable 💕 if it's alright with you, can i request izana, kazutora, chifuyu and rindou with a machi!s/o?? thanks in advance if you did this :))

Hope you're having a fantastic day as well, and assuming you mean having a s/o with a personality like Machi from hunter x hunter?

Then Sure!

Izana

-If Izana were to have a s/o like Machi, their relationship would essentially resemble how Machi treated Chrollo.

-Izana is a leader with a lot of influence and power, and because Machi doesn't really care about ethics, you too would follow Izana no matter how crazy his ideas may be.

-You stick beside him and have basically become his righthand man. You’re very loyal and protective of Izana, and you’re always down to fight anyone that opposes him as well.

-Sometimes If he’s super sad, Izana will ask that you hold him. He wouldn't admit it, but he feels safe in your arms and It makes him happy to know that someone in this world loves him.

-You too feel happy when you wrap your arms around Izana, and you find yourself smiling at how he squeezes you tight and the way he visibly relaxes into your embrace.

Kazutora

-Honestly, truth hurts. And you would probably be very brutally honest with Kazutora, especially considering the situation with Mikey.

-You tend to not hold his hand or coddle him, and Kazutora truly needs someone that will set him straight whenever he starts to spiral.

-He appreciates you once you succeed in bringing him back down to his senses, and feels thankful to have you in his life.

-Kazutora starts to admire you since you're so strong and always caring of him. You catch him sending you longing gazes, filled to the brim with love and adoration. You don't typically like showing people your soft side so you try to ignore it at first.

-But you still couldn't seem to shake off the warm feeling swirling in your stomach.

Chifuyu

-A very odd pairing, but It could work.

-This relationship likely started with Chifuyu trying to chase you, even after giving him the cold shoulder countless times and making it very clear that you were out of his league.

-But one day when a group of boys tried to pick on you, your view of Chifuyu changed.

-You were going to handle them, but Chifuyu jumped in and protected you.

-Even if you were perfectly capable of dealing with the group yourself, you still thought it was sweet that Chifuyu fought for you.

-After that, you and Chifuyu started going steady. He would take you on very thoughtful dates that he had spent planning all week, and he would give you gifts that came from the heart.

-And because you disliked showing your emotions, It can be hard for Chifuyu to get through to you sometimes, but he’s still very patient and understanding when it comes to getting your heart.

Rindou

-You guys are the perfect match, in my opinion.

-You and Rindou are the hot, mysterious couple that everyone is secretly invested in.

-Both of you have similar personalities, such as having a very strong sense of sarcasm and being so blunt that you come across as mean to most people.

-You guys are kind of the same person, so it all works.

-Rindou is very protective of you and will immediately fight if he feels that someone has crossed the line with you. No one can disrespect his baby, and he means that.

-Also Rindou dyed his hair to match the purple/pink color with you. It was his idea too, and you guys look so aesthetic together.

-Not to mention he loves that you can handle your own. Your strength, as well as your attitude, never fails to make Rindou fall more and more for you everyday.

[neopolpleb]

Curiosity Saved The Cat | a Micheal Myers x GN!Reader

warnings: none! Just a sweet ol thingy bout you and ol mikey meeting

A/N: Aye babies this isn’t my first rodeo on this hellsite but you’ve probably never seen my work unless you have the memory of an elephant and an obsession with Karl Heisenberg!

But! New user new me y’know. So this is my first fic as Neopleb and I hope you stick around and maybe send in some requests!

——————————

His favorite activity was to watch you. Sometimes you didn’t know. Sometimes he knew you knew, but your favorite was when he didn’t know that you knew.

You were used to the iconic Micheal stare. I mean, dating this seven foot hunk of a killer for a few years meant you had to get used to it or it just wouldn’t be pleasant for you. Thankfully, you were able to take his glares and glances but you also learned how to tell them apart.

Of course, theres the stare that fills even the strongest of men with fright as they realize their death is soon nearing when they look into the emotionless gaze that hid the truest form of evil. The Shape.

You’re grateful you’ve never experienced the full force of that gaze. You had seen it be fought off the night you two met. It was replaced with the next stare; curiosity.

The day you two met is a memory you cherish, but of course your logical side always is ringing in the back of your head “HOW THE FUCK DID I SURVIVE EVIL FUCKING PERSONIFIED???” or something along those lines.

The answer was simple, you intrigued him. Micheal had never seen anything like you. He couldn’t understand it. The shape was banging in his skull telling him to kill you right now. Finish the job. But Micheal for once didn’t listen. For once in over many decades, he let his more human side take over and he just left.

Imagine the look on your face when Micheal Myers, who was five seconds away from killing you just up and walks away. You didn’t know how to react. You sat in the corner of your silent bedroom praying to whatever was out there that he wouldn’t change his mind about sparing you.

You didn’t want to provoke him in anyway so you cast logic to the wind and didn’t contact the police. In the weeks following the encounter you thought you had just been a miracle and would never have a run in with the masked fellow again…

Until you started noticing things. Things like, windows being open that you were sure to have closed the night before. Locks suddenly broken no matter how many times you would replace them. You tried your best to calm your thoughts but the obvious answer was basically hitting you in the face. He never let you be. He had been watching you the whole time.

Of course you freaked out, but then came the confusion. Why hadn’t he killed you? You had lived in Haddonfield long enough to hear the stories, and from what you gathered, Micheal didn’t really keep victims. Of course if they ran he’d find them again, but it was usually a quick job. So why are you still here?

That was a question even Micheal couldn’t answer. It felt like everyday was “the day he is definitely going to do it” but it never was. He just watched you. Almost as if you were a science project that he had to observe.

He couldn’t wrap his head around you. To the naked eye you were just a normal person. You moved from the city to live a quiet life, a fresh start, in a small town in Illinois. You kept to yourself. The only person who knew you by name was the usual cashier at the local supermarket. You minded your business. Yet some how you caught the eye of god’s most terrifying creation.

After a few weeks of trying fix the locks, even going as far to super glue a few windows shut, you gave up. They always found themselves open again, you came to the thought that “if he hasn’t killed me yet, why am I to be so worried?” Which on your part isn’t the smartest, but no one ever said you were the sharpest knife in the drawer.

It was a silent night it February. You had fallen asleep on your couch after a long day of studying for your exams. You hadn’t slept in over 20 hours, and you were out cold, so you didn’t hear the creak of the back door opening.

Micheal stalked in, as silent as ever. Hiding in the shadows as he mapped out his plan to finally end you tonight. He headed towards your bedroom, expecting you to be there asleep in bed as you usually were. He stopped as he spotted you passed out on the couch. Half your body was hanging off the side and there was a pencil stuck in your hair.

He stared at you again, the curious gaze returning as his plan slowly faded from his mind. You were an enigma. How did you capture his gaze like this, why did he push everything aside just to watch you. You were just another victim. Another body. Another object to him. Why is his mind seeing you as something more.

The thing that pulled him from his thoughts was your body slamming to the ground after just a bit too much of you came off the couch. He quickly hid in the shadows of the hallway, planning his escape as you tried to get your bearings after your rude awakening.

You rubbed your head, groaning as you slowly stood. You waddled over to the kitchen to get a glass of water before chasing the lingering sleep to your bed. You felt his gaze, you had become more aware of it once you had given up on shutting the monster out. You grabbed a cup from the cupboard and filled it was tap water. The stream filling the glass was the only sound that could be heard throughout the house.

You leaned back against the counter as you sipped the water. Glancing around the room hoping to spot your watcher but you as always, you never could. You sighed shaking off the gaze and setting the cup in the sink before heading towards your bedroom.

You made it halfway towards your hallway before you spotted the silhouette in the shadows. Your brain was yanking at the reigns of your body to run, hide, call someone, ANYTHING. Yet you just… stood there. Not as if you were frozen in fear, but as if you were having a staring contest with your intruder.

You took a deep inhale and let it out in a sigh before you continued your walk to your room. You knew that this could possibly be your final moment, but it was almost 4 am and you were still incredibly tired. So with logic to the wind, you walked past Micheal who kept his gaze on you the entire time.

You couldn’t see his face, but it was contorted in pure confusion- Why weren’t you running? Why weren’t you cowering in fear. He stared in shock as you reached your bedroom door at the end of the hallway.

Your hand grabbed the knob turning it gently, before glancing back at the man who now stood on the opposite side of the hallway, still watching. You opened the door slowly, turning back to face him.

“… Theres uh- Theres leftovers in the fridge. Spaghetti. You can have some if you want, just put the plate in the sink when your done please.” You spoke quietly, before quickly closing the door to your room. Immediately jumping under your covers as if you were a child hiding from the monster in your closet, but you knew even a child wouldn’t be dumb enough to offer a monster DINNER.

You squeezed your eyes shut and cut out the world as you let sleep take over, hoping to awake the next morning.

You did in fact wake up the next morning, your bedroom door was left open, which you let go quickly considering the fact that you were still alive. You slowly crept out to the living room, glancing around to make sure your visitor hadn’t stuck around. You didn’t see anyone, or feel any gaze so you walked to your kitchen feeling more safe.

There was a bowl left on the counter, you furrowed your eyebrows at it. “Dude breaks into my house, eats my food, and I ask him ONE thing and he can’t even do it? Unbelievable.” You fake being dramatic to yourself, as you set the bowl in the sink and begin making yourself breakfast.

You begin cracking eggs into a bowl when you hear the creak of your back door opening. You pause momentarily, before continuing your cooking. A few silent seconds later and you feel the familiar gaze resting on the back of your head.

You continue your cooking and point to the table,

“If you want breakfast sit down and it’ll be done soon” it came out more confident than your offer last night and you hope that you didn’t anger him. Thankfully, you hear a chair being pulled out and you take a glance to see Micheal sitting, his gaze still locked on you.

Sometimes you still wonder why he hadn’t killed you. He doesn’t talk much but in his more talkative moments he joked that he only kept you around for your food. Though in truth sometimes he doesn’t really know the answer. He doesn’t believe in love at first sight. Hell he didn’t even believe in love period before he started hanging around you. Yet something about you stuck out to him, but he has a lifetime with you to figure it out.

[anystalker707]

I'm here, love

Pairing: Ray x [fem] Reader Word count: 1 916 Genre: Comfort / Fluff Summary: Reader isn't handling it well when she goes with MCR for a tour for the first time, but Ray is always there for her. TW: Anxiety attack

Requested by anon

Tour has been going on for some time already, almost a month, but it actually feels like forever. All the agitation can be really immersive, turning the attempts of keeping track of time difficult, even more since we mostly follow a nighttime schedule due to the concerts. We’re almost always heading to a bar or club after the concerts, so it’s basically falling asleep at two in the morning to wake up at noon or something in the best days. Certainly not the best thing.

Today is thankfully one of the break days in which the guys don’t have any concert and we arrived to the next city earlier than usual, what means we’re lazing around for most of the time.

“…because he’s not here, duh!” Ray’s voice becomes audible as he leaves the bus, grinning as looking back at it and shaking his head after Mikey says something, though I’m not able to understand any of it. Only a small smile remains on his face whilst he approaches me, taking a seat on the ground with me. “Hello, love,” he says softly, pressing a kiss to my cheek.

“Hi.” I smile, pecking his lips, and put my phone down.

“What are you doing?” He raises an eyebrow, looking around for a moment like if trying to find what kept my attention until now.

“Nothing, really,” I say softly, leaning my head against his shoulder. “Do you want to go do something? I wanted to, but didn’t want to ask while you were busy with the others.” The thought of interrupting the four’s talk and probably attracting all that attention wasn’t exactly appealing, I’m secretly thankful he finally left the bus.

“Aw, you didn’t have to wait for all this time.” Ray’s eyebrows furrow lightly as he pecks my cheek. “And we could go look for a café or a restaurant, how does that sound? It’s almost lunchtime, after all.”

“Sounds good!” I smile, liking the opportunity of spending some time alone with Ray.

He seems just as happy as standing up and offering me a hand, which I take to help myself standing up. “So, how are you feeling? With the whole tour thing, I mean.” Ray wraps an arm around me when we start walking down the parking lot, concern laying under his apparently normal expression.

I hum, looking away for a moment. “Oh, yeah, I’m alright. I’ll let you know if I need anything, thank you.” I press a kiss to Ray’s cheek, trying to demonstrate my appreciation despite the subject making me tense up a bit.

Ray is more than aware of my problems with anxiety, already having helped me through its ups and downs, and both of us already predicted how the whole tour thing would interfere on it, mainly because it’s my first time tagging alone during one. We already had a hard time before the tour itself – I got too panicked at the whole thing since I barely knew how it would work –, hence he’s been worried and making sure of always checking on me.

Truth is that I’m not as alright as I’ve claimed to be. The tour has already reached my nerves and I can already feel this familiar buzzing under my skin, threatening to intensify, making me lose it yet again. It, however, won’t happen; I’ll not let that happen. Ray won’t even know.

We’re soon walking into a restaurant, the smell of food filling the ambient and, somehow, it feels good and bad at the same time. Not a surprise, since the anxiety usually has me either eating compulsively or not eating at all, so I think my body decided it’ll be better if I stay inside that bus for hours with an empty stomach, right?

We take a seat and place our orders – I balance my choice between something that my body won’t reject and Ray will not complain about, what seems to work.

“Y’know,” Ray breaks the silence between us, “what have you been thinking about watching us live?” He glances at me, expectant. His question doesn’t fail in making me smile since he’s probably referencing how I used to keep bugging him with questions about the tour concerts.

“Awesome, of course!” I grin, letting my eyes fall to my plate as I drag the food around for a bit. “It’s just amazing, I love it, seeing you playing is just…” I shrug, feeling my cheeks heat up whilst Ray breathes a chuckle, but I’m unable to look at him just yet. When I do glance at Ray, he’s grinning. “You know how much I like it.”

“I just wanted to check,” he says smugly – I snort, shaking my head playfully.

“Already regretting bringing me with you, tho?” I raise an eyebrow, finishing to eat and leaning back on the chair.

“Never!” Ray says indignantly, shooting me a look. “I’d have taken you with me before if I knew you wanted it that bad!” He pauses to take a sip of his drink. “Like, I missed you an awful lot and the tours tend to be fun. Though there are a few problems, but…”

“Yeah, I’ve noticed.” I press my lips together and nod as he does the same.

We sit in silence for a moment, only until Ray finishes eating and soon calls the waitress. She grins as coming closer, a block of notes in her hand and a pencil on the other. “Well, you two have ordered for…” she trails off, mumbling under her breath as scribbling a few things down on her paper before grinning and handing Ray the bill; he nods, reaching for his wallet. Meanwhile, the woman looks at me, wide eyes looking at me from up to down with that fake excitement. Okay. What’s wrong? Maybe she’d judging my clothes? Or that I’m with Ray?

I try to ignore the woman, turning to Ray. “Hey, I was thinking we could—”

“Keep the change,” Ray tells the woman as handing her the money, ignoring me. Fuck. “And do you know any convenience store or café nearby?”

The two engage into a conversation and maybe it’s the instability and stress due to the whole tour-anxiety thing or whatever, but I can feel my heart heavy due to it. My plan is to continue there, of course, leave with Ray so we can spend mor time alone with each other, a plan that I give up on as soon as feeling a sting in my chest. I just stand up and leave.

Why did Ray ignore me? What did I do wrong? He got tired or annoyed, perhaps. …Or, yet, I’m just overreacting. Hell, I know Ray wouldn’t do that to be in purpose because he is usually so loving.

A sigh escapes my lips as I glance back and I really want to come back – I would, if I wasn’t so far from there already. It’s the best to just give him some random excuse later.

Holy fuck, but, honestly, everything only went downhill from the moment I decided to tag along.

First of all, I panicked at the sole fact I was going to come with them to the tour then got extremely awkward during a whole week and half, barely talking with anyone asides from Ray – what got Mikey annoyed at some point, what I’m sure of even if everyone denies it. And then we went along with all the minor events, like me being the last one to get back to the bus, almost getting lost in the venue and simply being unable to talk to anyone asides from the band and the staff, among other inconveniences.

Everyone must be more than done with me, to be honest. And there’s still a whole other month before we can go home, I don’t think I’ll be able to go through all of this with the mess I am.

I sigh in relief at seeing the bus and am about to walk inside it when Gerard show ups out of seemingly nothing, looking around, but his attention quickly falls on me. “Oh, (y/n)— Hey, were you crying? Something happened?”

The question makes me freeze, just now noticing the tears threatening to slip from my eyes and consequently making me feel like all of my blood instantly drained to my feet. “I-I—” I stutter, unfortunately simply unable to finish the sentence, and end up just running away from there, going to an isolated spot of the parking lot to calm down. I don’t want anyone seeing me having another attack, make them even more annoyed and attract all that attention.

Air just escapes my grasp, seemingly impossible to continue in my lungs for longer than a few seconds whilst the tears simply do not stop, even if I don’t even want to be crying or anything, fuck off.

I take a seat on the grassed area, under a tree, and bring my hands up to my eyes.

Cleaning my mind is just impossible, I just keep thinking about how everyone is going to be shooting me these stupid concerned looks when I’m back to the bus and how I’m only going to continue being another source of stress to them during the rest of the tour. Ray should’ve just left me home as usual and—

“…(y/n), listen to me, (y/n)! I’m here!” Ray’s voice cuts through my thoughts and I can feel his hand around my wrist, the other one on my back. “Hey, baby, it’s okay. C’mon, breath with me,” he says softly before starting to set a breathing pace I can’t help but to stick to.

Hell, when did Ray even get here?

I’m getting better when my breath hitches in my throat at the thought I’m only annoying him and I can’t help but to let out a weak sob his time. Ray only starts to rub my back. Even if I’m crying, I do feel better than I did earlier, now slowly becoming more aware of my surroundings while all that filled my mind moments ago were these awful thoughts along with all the panic and worry.

“I’m so sorry,” I whisper shakily, bringing my hands down to bury my face in the crook of his neck, trying to synch my breathing with his.

“You don’t need to be sorry, love,” Ray says softly, thumb running along the back of my neck in a weirdly soothing manner. “Don’t be ashamed of it or anything, this whole thing is really stressing. Even us had problems with it at first, so everyone understands how you must be feeling.” His voice helps me calming down, giving me something to hold onto to keep myself in reality asides from his touches.

“Thank you, then,” I reply, my voice still tight.

“It’s okay. I do it because I love you.” Ray pulls away lightly and smiles at me. His hands cup my cheeks, warm against them, whereas he wipes my tears away with his thumbs. “And I want to see you fine, okay?” He presses his lips against mine in a light kiss I’m thankful for. “Let me know about it the next time you feel like this, please.” A quiet sigh comes from him as he furrows his eyebrows at me, worry obvious there. “Are you feeling better now?” I nod. “Really?” he asks and I nod again, pecking his lips like if to prove it. “Okay…-“ he smiles, relieved, “-…how about a coffee now, hm?”

[soradragon]

Sugary Comfort

Art’s not mine I found it and credit goes to the wonderful owners of this master piece of a drawing!

First Mikey x reader! I am proud and content with this one!

Thank you my sweet new beta reader for helping me edit this fic I love u and your amazing! <3

Warnings: sensory overstimulation in the beginning, lots of fluff, one pun

Mikey x f! reader

Check out my main masterlist if you liked what you read and wanna read more!

If you want to be tagged in the upcoming fics don’t be afraid to ask me! ^^

Anyway, enjoy^^

~~~~

You gazed at the reflection of a girl. She looked utterly exhausted; bags under her eyes like she hasn't slept in ages. 

Her lips were tilted up in a sneer; it was evident that she was repressing the urge to scream. But instead of giving in to the voice begging her to do just that, she drove her foot through the water's surface. Not only disfiguring the reflection of the girl, but also dirtying the dress you nitpickingly chose to wear this day. At the time you felt beautiful wearing it. Proud that you chose the right clothes to fit with the dress, completing the look you wanted.

Now, you just didn't care.

You didn't feel pretty nor proud.

You choked out a sob, rubbing the back of your hand against your face harshly.

You wanted all the white noise to stop, wanted the crying to stop, wanted the searing headache to stop. Why couldn't time freeze? Then, maybe the chaos in your head would finally end.

You had tried everything you knew that normally should have worked. Out of all of the times for those methods not to work, why did it precisely choose now when it actually matters?

You followed all the steps. You even rehearsed the steps as you did them.

Step one: When you feel an episode coming, go to a quiet place with dull, even colours. 

You had almost dropped your project when you felt everything becoming overwhelming, muttering an explanation to your teacher before almost booking out of the school building, to the most calming place you could recall; the park.

Step two: Once you have found a quiet place, go sit down and use your headphones to block out all of the sounds.

The headphones did not work.

Your never-ending trains of thoughts took the place of the noise and multiplied it by two. 

Images that flashed before your eyes every time you closed them were too bright. You were unable to figure out the meanings behind the words your mind screamed at you. 

All of it only worsened the already painful headache.

After only a moment you tore the headphones from your head.

Step three: Try even your breathing, and count to ten to ground yourself.

This was the only step that worked. You managed to calm yourself and stop your ragged breathing but it took effort. It took two attempts of counting to ten before it succeeded.

This whole fiasco petered you out mentally and physically. You just wanted this unnecessary sensory to decrease and quiet down to at least a tolerable level. But alas, the world did not want to cooperate this time.

You sighed, casting your gaze to the heavens. 

The sky was beautiful this evening - painted in orange and pink - and you would have taken the time to admire it, had it been in a different situation.

After hearing a familiar yet obnoxious 'ping' coming from within your bag, you cursed under your breath. You snatched your bag from behind you crudely, zipping it open with a huff. As you turned it on, you flinched at the bright light of your screen.

One unread message from 'Mom.'

She was worried sick no doubt. You felt guilty for worrying her, and wanted to reassure her that yes, you were safe, but felt like trash and were in the middle of an episode that wouldn't stop. No matter how hard you tried, all the obnoxious and illogical sensory your brain's been picking up did not stop. Though, on the other hand, you just wanted to ignore the message and skip the whole situation of explaining everything altogether and just turn off the screen and put notifications on mute. You sent a quick 'k' to whatever she had messaged you and moved on to the mute button.

Your finger hovered above it when a notification popped up, causing you to hesitate.

One new message from 'The great Mikester dude!'

Without thinking, you pressed on the notification, staring with big eyes at the message he had sent you: Guess who and where dudette. :P

"Mikey." You gasped out, manoeuvring your head in all kinds of directions, eyes skimming all over the park, trying to find the one in question. You felt the tingling and buzzing feeling of hope and glee pool in your body, replacing the sadness and anger.

All problems were forgotten or pushed to the back of your mind.

The white noise died down suddenly when you heard a low thud and the slight rustling of leaves. 

There was no other explanation; they were here...You were sure of it. 

Only they could stop the chaos when everything else failed, though you didn't know how, nor the logic in it. 

You guessed it had something to do with their ninja nature or something. (Even though Donnie told you multiple times that it might have been because of the aura they carried with, them, being half turtle and all that jazz had its side effects on some humans, like how a pet could soothe its owner simply by being near them. You still blamed it on them being ninjas.)

With your mind settled down, you could think clearly again. 

You briefly acknowledged the fact that you most certainly were a dishevelled mess. Puffy eyes from crying, clothes covered in mud, and hair all over the place, considering that you've pulled and tangled your hair in frustration. Despite all of this, you didn't care.

You were too busy thinking of a plan to lure them - you guessed it was all of them, though it could be only Mikey - out of their hiding place.

You accidentally placed your hand on your phone, making it vibrate, and your hand shot back as if it had burned you. A few seconds after, a song piped up.  A lot of curses could be heard from the tree where the music came from, the leaves rustled like no tomorrow. Mikey fell out of said tree not long after, hitting the ground with an 'oof' followed by a groan. You stared at Mikey for a couple of seconds before doubling over in laughter as the realisation hit you:

You had accidentally called Mikey!

Well, it sure helped you find him!

You counted that as a win on your part. And it seemed that Mikey was on his own, for normally one of the brothers, cough Raph cough would have jumped out from their hiding place and scolded Mikey.

He rolled into a sitting position, giggling with you.

"Yo, dudette! Fancy seeing you here. Don't mind me dropping in," he said, peering at you with an expecting smile, seeming to wait for a reaction. 

It took you a hot second or two for you to catch on, eventually groaning at the pun and face-palming yourself for your delayed comprehension. He did jazz hands and everything.

The great ninja Michelangelo just punned...

You wanted to kick yourself, you completely forgot that April had warned you about Mikey using puns. She had messaged you not too long ago about how it was a "Big" (with capital B) mistake of Casey to teach Mikey "The Art of puns." For Mikey had become obsessed with them. - Throughout the whole exchange, Casey had managed to steal April’s phone a few times and messaged you some words. Three guesses which one was Casey’s input on the matter. - 

You had no clue what they meant with "mistake" throughout that whole exchange. 

You appreciated a good pun.

This was not a good pun. 

You could just imagine the brothers’ reactions to Mikey's newfound fixation: Raph screaming desperately for Mikey to shut up. Donnie being hella annoyed with something pressed against his (ears?) to drown Mikey out. Leo would definitely try to ignore him, probably without success, because you knew...oh, you knew Mikey would take every chance he got to make a pun.

Your heart went out for them. Needing to go through such torture was horrid, yet it was a funny sight to be completely honest. Not that you would ever tell them, heavens no.

You were not going to poke three bears with a stick - in this case, mutant turtles. You were not ready to die three separate times.

"Dude, that was so bad,” you said, making a face as if you had just been forced to smell Raph's feet. You still regret going through with that bet.

"Dude!"

Mikey frowned, throwing his hands in the air. You knew he wasn't really offended, just a bit pouty.

"It's the truth, dude," you retorted absentmindedly, casting your gaze from left to the right before it rested on your bag. Smiling slightly, you snatched it, hauling it over your back before turning back to Mikey who sat contently against the tree. 

"But," you emphasised the word by pointing your index finger in the air, "you can get better,” your grin widened as you spoke.

 “And I, Y/N, know how it's really done."

Mikey's pout vanished and a wide, child-like grin overtook his face. You had his full attention, as he observed you expectantly from his cross-legged position. 

The long uncut grass rippled towards and caressed Mikey, the blades of green curling slightly forward and creating an image of what looked like nature sheltering Mikey from the harsh reality outside of this garden of paradise. 

The green-filled branches of the tree hovered above him, leaves gliding down every now and again, covering Mikey in small dapples of shadow.

Dusk's hew engulfed the image before you in a soft purple radiance. Mikey's skin practically glowed, making him look like a forest fairy.

It was a captivating sight. 

You could mistake it for a painted fairy tale that had come to life. Whoever the painter was had made sure that each tiny detail captured the magic and beauty of the image before you.

A magic-filled world coexisting in the harsh one you stood in... what you wouldn't give to cast all worries aside and join that world.

You were so lost in the moment that you almost forgot to continue.

Shaking yourself free from the enchanting sight, you carried on, albeit flustered, "a-and I could, um, teach you a thing or two. If...If you want me to, that is."

Mikey almost jumped right in your face before the words had completely left your mouth. There were practically stars in his eyes! He actually looked really adorable.

"Really!? You would!? Y/N, you are the best!!"

Mikey engulfed you into a hug, his body nearly covering your entire body from the world.

You gave a chuckle as he kept his arms circled around you, letting you sit in his lap. You didn't mind at all, feeling cosy in his arms.

"Of course I would Mikester. It would be my pleasure!"

You raised your hands to Mikey's cheeks, giving them a couple of pats before you continued.

"That way, you have a reason to end patrol earlier so we can spend more time together," and it would give the others a break from the barrage of bad puns, but you didn't voice that out loud. 

Mikey seemed to agree. He didn't waste any time to establish when and where this 'class-session', as he called it, would be taking place. He wanted it to become, without a shadow of a doubt, a weekly thing, like movie night at the turtles’ place with everyone.

Mentioning movie night brought up some nasty memories of last time -the movie night itself wasn’t bad, just one of your episodes got out of hand -  and Mikey changed the subject promptly after seeing you wince slightly. 

He told you about all kinds of new skateboard tricks he mastered and invented.

After a little while - when everything had been said about skateboarding - Mikey started to eagerly talk about random topics, bringing up stuff like how his training went this morning or what he encountered on patrol. Just little things to draw more time spending in this position. You kept in mind that this peaceful moment couldn't last forever, for both of you would have to separate sooner rather than later. 

You needed to go home to your no doubt worried sick parents, before they would start search parties. And Mikey...had to wait till the next time you two could hang out. (Which wasn't as often as both of you desired)

You listened to his voice silently, only humming a reply whenever Mikey asked for your opinion, snuggling deeper into his embrace as you lost track of time. Drowsiness tugged at your consciousness, beckoning you to close your eyes and let sleep take over. The way Mikey held you close to him made you feel loved and safe, with you resting your head against his chest to hear his heartbeat. He rubbed soothing circles on your left shoulder with one hand, making it impossible to resist the urge to let sleep take you away to dreamland. 

You vaguely heard Mikey's voice murmur in your ear, "Sweet dreams, sugar muffin..." You felt soft lips brush against your forehead before sleep took you over.

*(*)(*)*

Michelangelo stayed seated for a little while longer, looking at your sleeping form with loving eyes. If the world would have let him, he would have stayed like this forever. Alas, the moment was broken when your mobile pinged inside your bag, vibrating like crazy.

Mikey panicked. Jumping to his feet (surprisingly without stirring you) without thinking. He opened your bag in such haste he had almost dropped you trying to grab the vibrating phone before it would wake you.

He sighed in relief when the phone stopped its obnoxious buzzing after he managed to keep you from falling. He shifted you gently onto one arm to hold you delicately, yet tightly to his chest, as if he was protecting you from the world around you.

Once he made sure you were nestled comfortably in his hold,  he glanced towards the device lying in his palm. Mikey held it at an arm's length.

One question drifted inside his mind: Who in their right mind would call you this late in the evening?

It was a question where he could get an answer, but Mikey didn't want to pry into your private life without your permission.

But the curiosity gnawed at him like he would do with pizza.

He shook his head and chastised himself for goggling the device longingly. "No, bad Mikey...Be the better man, you can do this," he muttered, moving to put the phone in your bag until your phone buzzed again, displaying the number of notifications on the lit-up screen.

It made him halt in his tracks. 

Mikey knew you were having a bad day today. After all, he saw you crying by the pond in the centre of the park. It was a mere coincidence, patrolling around the park at the time. He had seen you crying and decided right then and there that he would cheer you up. But he had no idea you had that kind of bad day. 

There were seven unread messages and three missed calls from your mother. All of them showed how worried she was about you, asking where you were and if you had one of your sensory overstimulation episodes.

Without really thinking about it, he typed a reply to your mother: Batteries died, was with a friend. Coming home through the fire escape forgot keys.

It wasn’t a  grammatically correct message, he knew. It was the best he could do with one hand and one thick tumb.

Mikey glanced towards you with gentle eyes and a soft smile after sending the message and put your phone back in your bag.

He moved you gently, holding you with both arms again and cradling you against his chest.

You, in turn, stirred and snuggled deeper into Mikey's chest, making his heart soar.

"Time to get you home, sugar muffins..." he whispered softly, brushing a couple of stray hairs out of your face.

Mikey moved swiftly yet precisely, ensuring you did not wake or feel uncomfortable during roof-top-hopping. You needed all the rest you could get; the bags under your eyes made him even more certain of the fact.

Your home came into Mikey's field of vision far too soon. Opening the window and laying you softly onto your bed felt too fast for his taste.

Mikey took extra care to tuck you in. He even attached a little note to your bag for you to find when you would wake up. 

He really wanted to stay longer, but the sound of your parents coming up the stairs told him it was time to go. He opened the door of your room slightly so your parents would know you were home. Michelangelo climbed through the window before your parents could see him.

He watched your parents turn on the light from a rooftop across your window. Your dad gave you an extra blanket before the two of them turned off the light and left your room.

Mikey stayed there on the rooftop for a little while longer before leaving, looking over his shoulder one last time and then he sprinted over the rooftops towards home.

*(*)(*)*

You found the note the next day. You smiled brightly at the words hastily scribbled on the pape. You texted Mikey a reply before you went to look out your window. Your eyes draw towards the morning sky, which was painted in a soft orange hue.  

You repeated the words inside your head, making you excited for the next time you would see your turtle in orange...

Yoo, dudette! Can't wait for the pun-session upcoming Friday! 

I'll pick you up at ten alright? It's a date! ;) <3

~~~~

Thank you for reading, and keep soaring high!^^

Forever taglist

@theincaprincess​ 

[thelostandforgottenangel]

Zootopia Tarzan Moana Atlantis 101 Dalmatians Frozen Beauty and the Beast Hercules Aladdin

Zootopia – Would your muse enjoy living in utopia, or would they feel out of place?

Raven would completely and utterly probably hate it; sure maybe she would like a world where everyone got along and lived in peace and her family was safe from harm… but she lives in the sewers (Currently is up in the woods away from civilization with everyone) – she would feel way out of place

Tarzan – How did the place your muse grew up in affect them?

Strangely enough where as the turtles were eager to get to the surface she loves living underground and might prefer to stay there unless they are out in the open with nobody around for miles like up at the cabin, it gives her a sense of safety and security she only feels around her family if she is up top on patrol

Moana – Does your muse believe in fate or destiny? What is theirs?

Nope not really! Let’s put it this way she didn’t expect to see the late teenage years and truthfully she expects she will probably die so it’s a live by the moment kinda thing and accept there might be no chance of seeing next year much less 25.

If she does have a destiny it will probably be to kill her bastard of a sperm donor who has tried to kill her and her family one to many times

Atlantis – Is your muse adventurous or do they prefer to seclude themselves?

Both, but you gotta catch her on the right day! She loves exploring places she’s never seen wondering off too far from home sometimes getting herself into trouble other times finding somewhere for her and the turtles to hang out, other times she’s like a feral kitten with some violent tendencies meaning she hides either in her room or up in her crevasse within the pipes if there are people she don’t want to be around or trust in the lair *cough*Vern*cough*

101 Dalmatians – Does your muse have a large collection of any particular thing?

If you’re talking collections she has several but we’ll just do the bigger two; one is a box of the most random treasures she finds either in the sewers, through the grates, or up on the surface when she’s patrolling. Most she shares with the guys if they really like something but everything else is in this pretty box hidden under her bed

Pillows!!!

Her bed consists of a ‘nice’ queen size mattress they found on the streets then topped with about 50 *not exaggerating* of the plushiest pillows she could find while on junkyard supply runs crafted under her sheets into a nest, any stuffed animals she decided to keep from when she was a child sits along the back wall, and a giant knitted blanket Raph made her which she curls up in right in the middle of it all. Yes she has stolen all of her brother’s pillows before; Donnie’s not to many times because she wants him to sleep, and yes they had to physically go in her room at 6 a.m. when they had just got home from patrol and gotten cleaned up to drag them out from under her fake sleeping body or offer a new pillow so she will give it back… her bed is the softest so sometimes revenge is taken out on her for not giving them back in a timely manor by one of them climbing into her bed to just sleep there for the night being to tired to really work to get their stuff back

It’s a trap, this was her plan all along because she likes cuddles; Raph and Mikey give the best but good luck when she needs to get up, Leo is just fun to nestle up against cause he churrs softly in his sleep and it is soothing as fuck, if Donnie winds up in there it’s usually cause he missed his door or he couldn’t get comfortable

Or the lair is cold at that point they all nestle in the same room to keep from getting too cold

Frozen – What is your muse’s relationship with their siblings like?

It can be a rocky thing from time to time because they are still siblings and there will always be disagreements or rivalries… but no matter what she loves her brothers and their relationship is pretty good.

She is the baby of the family and no matter how mature she acts her brother’s spoil her rotten same as they did when she was tiny, she literally gets away with murder because of her big bright green eyes and innocent face (This is a lie don’t fall for it)

Leo although strict with her training because he would feel like a failure if she got hurt or died while in the middle of patrol or a battle pushes her harder then his younger brothers even gives her extra lessons if he feels she isn’t getting it but tends to let her goof off just a bit if she is doing great (Denies it to the highest power if called out by anyone)

Raph will act tough and argues with her either cause she’s bugging him or asking him to do shit (Will act like he hates her from time to time, they get into physical altercations, have at least one yelling match a day a real serious one every other week or so) but is the biggest teddy bear if close to the teen and thinks nobody is around, he still lets her ride around on his shell or his shoulder if it doesn’t hurt too bad because he does love her even if he will never admit it

Donnie no matter what always gives her his latest tech to try out since he believes she will tell him the truth if it needs work  and updates her laptop before Mikey’s game system because he can and she never asks him for much

Let’s face it; she is Mikey’s best friend, baby girl, and partner in crime! Both of these babies can always be found in the kitchen cooking almost every day and when they are not they are causing hell by pranking the other three, putting graffiti on the walls, playing their music too loud while having an epic dance party, fucking with Leo while he is attempting to train or meditate until he gets so frustrated they can pull him out of that serious ‘Leader Mode’ he runs on or as Raph calls it ‘Pulling the stick out of his ass’

Beauty and the Beast – How has your muse changed as a person over their life? Have they changed for the better or for the worse?

As a young child she was the same as she is now nothing seemed to bother her only she was a lot more fearful of humans believing they could get her through the TV and the scary metal monster that haunted her dreams until she was almost 13…so we did get a lot of personal growth

It’s could be worse – she could have been raised by Shredder but nobody wants that!

Hercules – Is your must more physically strong, or emotionally strong

She tries to be both but she is 5’4½, 170 pounds soaking wet with all her gear on, and even though Raph tries to put some more muscle on her she’s still tiny … they all remind her of this daily

I think she’s more emotionally strong; it takes a lot to break her unless it’s about the guys being hurt or almost killed then she shuts down, stays by their side, and cries like a baby until they are better

Aladdin – If your muse had 3 wishes, what would they be?

Her family’s safety will always be her first wish no matter what

For her brother’s to be accepted by the world above because seeing them upset by some unappreciative asshat of a person that ran screaming after they saved them from harm when they may have risked their own lives hurts her a lot. She will sit and comfort them if she is allowed and has held a sobbing Mikey a few too many times

Last but not least you would think she would want Shredder dead and his head on a pike but actually all she wants is one whole day of silence, everyone getting along, and for Donnie not to drink all of the damn coffee before 9 a.m.

@betelgeusessonajblog

[har-rison-s]

Losers Will Stick Together

Request: Stan x reader cute domestic fluff with kids and happiness and stan doesn’t d** and they get a visit from the losers and it’s just soft fluff because i miss my baby and he deserved the world and more but didn’t get it and iM BITTER😭thanks lovely your stan work is honestly the best i’ve seen

A/N: So this is some sort of thing I wrote as a promised part two and also a thing for myself to have a family feeling in my heart, a closeness to something, you know? I hope this meets all your standards :) I got such deja-vu from writing this, taking that LST was one of my first works on here. Hehe. I promised you all a second part :))) Happy reading and seasons greetings and happy New Year's! :) <3

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IT Masterlist

Heaven Masterlist

Warnings: talks and descriptions of IT, Neibolt, injuries. Also spoiler warning for IT: Chapter Two (come on, man)!

Gif credit goes to owners, which isn’t me!

Stanley and his wife decided that they could let his friends stay the night after the dinner. It would be a very friendly and close-contact sleepover for the Losers, but they had done that as kids for years, so why should that be a problem now? There's no awkward feelings. Eddie and Richie would be sharing a mattress, of course, as would Beverly and Ben. Before they did, though, there had to be cleaning up, putting kids to sleep and talking to do. 

Everyone helped. Richie had Louise on his shoulders while he cleared the table with Bev and Eddie's help. Nathaniel was carried on Ben's shoulders as he and Mike helped Stanley pull out mattresses, pillows, sleeping bags and blankets. Bill and Y/N were in charge of washing the dishes, drying them and putting them in place. That's how Bill got familiar with the Uris kitchen organisation and Ben and Mike learned the house plan. The Losers got familiar with the house that'd become one of their second homes. 

Little Louise loved pestering Richie's hair and taking off his glasses, but he never got annoyed. He always played along, joked, tickled Louise and made the little girl laugh. Ben and Nathaniel seemed to have something in common - Nathaniel is quite a restless spirit, and Ben's characteristic ideally corresponded with that. He was just as ready for wrestling or running around as the little guy. Stanley was starting to worry Nathaniel would grow up a rascal, but as long as that influence was from one of his best friends, he didn't seem to mind that much.

At the end of the night, when everything had been cleaned up and Y/N was almost done putting their kids to sleep, Stanley gave his friends each a beer bottle, like most their fathers did back in the day, and they sat down in the living room. Richie had told Richie there was a lot to tell him, and Stanley himself had a lot of questions for his best friends, taking that they'd told him quite strange words upon their own arrival.

“So, wait--what happened when Mike called you all? You went back to Derry?” Stanley asks, his elbows resting on his knees as he has leaned forward. Three of his friends are sitting next to him on the sofa, the other three are sitting on lounge chairs in front of the sofa. It feels like an actual sleepover, all of them have a deja-vu feeling in their whole body and heart. Also it feels like a story-telling night Derry Library used to have, cause a major story would be told. 

His friends nod in answer to his question. “I mean, it was weird. So weird.” Eddie's the first to speak up, and as he does, he shakes his head and looks down. “I crashed my car when Mike called me. And, like, I didn't know who he was at first, but then… Everything kept coming back to me, to all of us. But the most came back when I finally met everyone.”

“Yeah.” Richie nods from next to Eddie. “I mean, I threw up when I got my call. But meeting them was a big relief. You know, I felt safe.”

“Something happened to all of you when Mike called?” Stanley asks, looking around at his friends. They nod again.

“I got into a bad fight.” Beverly says, and Stanley worriedly eyes her after her confession. His eyes hold empathy, but she only shrugs with half a smile. Half a real smile.

“My new project didn't get approved.” Ben says. “I don't know if that's an… an unlucky thing.”

“I also got into a fight.” Bill admits, looking down at his left hand, and Stanley notices how he eyes one specific finger. The finger that should have probably been still holding a marriage ring, but it's naked, no ring on it. 

“Wow.” Stanley sighs. “That's a lot.” He takes a swig from his beer, as does Bill and Richie (almost in sync). 

“A pity you couldn't make it, Stan.” Mike says, a hand landing on Stanley's shoulder. Now is Stanley's turn to nod. “But, you know, there was a strange thing that happened.” 

“More than one.” Eddie points out.

“What?” Stanley asks. “What happened?” All his friends give him scarce looks, which only tells Stanley that what happened was something they still haven't gotten over. Stanley remembers Y/N telling him there's a Mike Hanlon on the phone for him, he remembers talking to Mike and he remembers that the call was in May. It's October now, almost half a year since.

“Well, I was trying to tell everyone why you weren't at the restaurant with us,” Mike starts to say, “but I couldn't get the words out. It's like…”

“You st-started vomiting, Mikey,” Bill points out, almost reminds Mike of what happened.

“Oh, God.” Stanley says, only imagining what Mike could have been barfing up.

“I was vomiting up blood.” Mike says. “But I wasn't hurt. And we couldn't stop it. So I figured I'd just give it a rest, at least while we were in the restaurant. Then we got our fortune cookies, and from each message we got a whole one.”

“Remember when I was in the Deadlights, Stan?” Beverly asks, looking straight at Stanley. He nods. “I saw… horrible, disturbing things. And I saw… I saw you.”

“So, we were heading out of the restaurant and Bev thought to call you up.” Ben says.

“And I… well, Y/N picked up the phone. And she told me that you had… You had passed.” Beverly continues.

“What?” Stanley's face twists in confusion. He feels like he's been accused of a crime he hasn't done.

“It's what I saw in the Deadlights. You… laying in a bloody bath… with your wrists… open.” Beverly takes silent pauses between the words that are hard to say. Stanley puffs deeply and looks down to his feet. 

“She basically saw all of us die. Pennywise told us you.. couldn't cut it, through the fortune cookies.” Richie says.

“But it's not--it's obviously not true. Nothing like that happened. Y/N didn't answer a call on my phone. I didn't get no call, and there was no bath, guys--”

Richie shakes his head. “Don't worry.” He says. “It's quite obvious, man.” Richie makes a funny look on his face, wide eyes and eyebrows raised. The Losers share a breathy chuckle. “It's what would have happened if we hadn't done… what we did when we came back to Derry.”

“So that's why you said that it's good to see me. I thought you were being weird.” Stanley shrugs now and takes another sip from his bottle. He now leans backwards, resting in his sofa with Bill and Mike on his sides, concerning looks in their faces. “You were all looking weird at me, but I thought that was because, you know, we hadn't seen each other in so long.”

“Oh, it's definitely that, too.” Eddie says. Ben grins, Bill laughs an airy chuckle. 

“Well, okay, um…” Stanley doesn't really know what questions to ask. “Well, tell me everything. I don't know what to ask, really.” 

“Bill's great at story-telling, but he's still got his stutter, so I won't nominate him.” Richie says. 

“Yeah, remember how you nominated me as a sacrifice and then I almost died?” Eddie asks, shooting a sceptical look his way. Richie only pokes him with his elbow, but that makes Eddie groan in slight pain. “Bill's lucky not to get nominated.” 

“Sorry. I nominate everyone else.” Richie says.

“Why don't you do it, then?” Eddie questions. Richie looks at him.

“Well, I can. If nobody else wants to.” He responds. “Mike would be great to tell this.”

But the man in question shakes his head. “You go right ahead.” 

“Alright, then.” Richie shrugs, takes a deep sip from his beer bottle and gets into a comfortable position. He crosses his legs in front of him in the lounge chair and leans with his back into the back of it. “So, five months ago in a town not so far away, we all met up again. Mike told us the real reason he asked us to come back, which was to defeat IT. He believed and had proof that IT was back again. Me and Eddie, and, well, everyone, I think, except Mike, wanted to leave after we found out the truth. So we went back to the hotel where our stuff was, but Bill over here went with Mike to his place. Mike showed him a ritual that we would later be performing--which also turned out to be bullshit, Mike--” Richie pointedly looks at Mike, who only sighs and everyone tells Richie to keep his comments to himself, ”and Bill told us about it.

“Meanwhile, at the hotel, Bev told us she's seen all of us die. And we would have, if we hadn't kill IT in this cycle.” Richie continues. “So we realised we can't go back home, and so we stayed. Mike and Bill told us about the ritual of whatever, and said it's the only way to kill IT. So we got some sleep, and then Mike took us out again. Guess where he took us.” Richie genuinely waits for a guess from Stanley, but he's got none and so he shrugs. “Mike took us to the Clubhouse. Remember? That Ben built for us and we went there after the rock fight with Bowers?”

“Oh, yeah, sure, I remember that.” Stanley nods and speaks as if it's not that big a deal. His friends pause.

“You remember?” Eddie deadpans.

“How much do you remember?” Bill asks a more precise question.

“I think I remember everything. But that's not important, I'm trying to hear your story.” Stanley looks at Richie again now, waiting for him to continue. The Losers lose their tense shoulders and relax in their seats, also listening to what Richie's telling them despite knowing it all.

“So, we go to the Clubhouse, where more memories come up, we found your shower cap can.” Richie continues and Stanley chuckles at the fond memory. “And Mike tells us for the ritual to happen we each need to get a token. And we need to find it alone. It's something that we buried when leaving Derry, a piece from our past. So we split up, which we voted against, to each find our token. 

“Mike told us to meet him at the Library at seven, and I was the first to get there. Mike was being attacked by Bowers, he was strangling him. So I took this ancient-looking axe-thingy and did best as I could from the movies I've seen.”

“He killed Bowers with that axe thingy.” Beverly frames it better, since Richie is still a bit wary of the event and his violent action. 

“What!” Stanley almost screams, lunging forward over his knees again, wide eyes boring into Richie. “No shit! Really?!” 

“Yes, really. He saved my life.” Mike confirms the statement. 

“Wow, man! I can imagine what it took to do it.” Stanley says, looking at his best friend in amazement. But Richie shrugs.

“Just some anger.” He says and everyone laughs.

“'Some'.” Eddie echoes, and everyone laughs again. 

“So, I killed Bowers, then everyone else arrived, except Bill.” Richie continues the story. “He met a kid while he was looking for his token, which is also a kid I accidentally yelled at previously, and IT had warned him about this kid, sending a warning on a skateboard, yeah?” Richie looks sceptically at Bill as he asks. Bill nods with a defeated sigh. “So Bill went to the carnival to save the kid, but unfortunately, he couldn't save him. The clown ate him up in front of Bill's eyes.”

“Richie!” Eddie scolds him. “Have some empathy, fuck's sake. Oh, sorry!” Eddie's face immediately changes in realisation that he used a swear-word. 

Stanley shakes his head. “They're probably asleep already.” He says and then turns to Bill. He's lost in his own thoughts, and Stanley reaches a hand around his shoulders. “I'm sorry, man.” Stanley tells him, and Bill only nods, now looking down. “It's not your fault, Big Bill.” Bill gives him a sappy smile. 

“Then Bill decided to go kill IT alone, but of course, we went after him. To Neibolt Street.” Richie keeps telling, and only the name 'Neibolt' sends shivers down Stanley's spine. “We went in together, and man, that was something. We saw some horrible version of you… Younger you... “ Richie looks like he's trying to tell Stanley what they saw, but also that he can't and that he doesn't want to. He shakes his head. He can't do it.

“It's okay, man.” Stanley tells him. “You don't have to.”

“You wanted to know everything, Stan!” Richie says, and there's disappointment in himself in his voice. He's angry at himself for not being able to tell the story.

“If you can't, I don't want to.” Stanley tries to convince him. Richie shakes his head again, and looks down at his hands again.

“It's gonna be hard for him to tell the rest, so I'll take over.” Eddie says, and he clears his throat. “So, there were multiple tricks from IT on our way down Neibolt, but we got through them. We went down into the Sewers again, it was disgusting, of course, and the water level had gotten higher. Oh, and the toys weren't there anymore, remember the pile he had in the huge sewer room?” Stanley nods. “Yeah, well, there was basically only water and a small island from what his lair had left behind. And there was a door, a round door, that we had to go through. At first I thought I couldn't do it, I… I'd had a few doubtful moments before that and I thought… I thought I'd make everyone die cause… Eh, it doesn't matter. Richie made me feel brave and hopeful again.” 

Richie's hand is laying on the hand-rest of his lounge chair, and Eddie reaches over it protectively, grasping Richie's palm between his fingers. Stanley smiles widely and in slight surprise, even a tear pricking his eye. Eddie's words touched his heart, and the hand contact between him and Richie touched Stanley's empathic heart even deeper. 

“Oh and Bev, too, she gave me this spike and told me it kills monsters! That was also cool. Thanks again, Bev.” Eddie looks over to Beverly and she smiles. “There was a tunnel under the door, and it led down to the real lair of IT. It looked weird, it looked like something out of a museum, honestly, if it didn't have that horrid smell and ugliness. Um, well, we performed the ritual, we burned all of our tokens--realistically, most of them can't even be burned, but whatever--and we were chanting and holding hands, and there were these lights--the Deadlights!--coming down from above and we were still chanting, and we got the lights inside a prysm-thingy that Mike brought, and we thought we'd done it.

“But it was another trick from IT. A huge balloon started to grow out of it, making us all run to the corners of the room, but it burst right at the last second. We were deaf for like, a few minutes, but then we got back on our feet and uh… Oh, then we found out the ritual was bullshit, um--IT appeared again. We saw its true form, I think, the lights appeared again and then Pennywise himself. He was huge, like his head or the top of his body was on a gigantic spider. He basically told us how he'd had this weird obsession over us for the last twenty-seven years, talking about how he wanted to eat us and just--eh, it was really weird.

“Mike wanted to die for us, but we wouldn't let him. IT had his game with us, he chased us around his entire lair, we saw a bunch of weird shit. Basically, we were separated - I was with Rich, Bev was with Ben, and Mike and Bill were on their own. Then we came back to the center, where IT was about ready to strangle Mike, but then Richie stopped him. He got himself trapped in the Deadlights. But then I… I had the spike Bev gave me with me and I threw it at the huge Pennywise-spider.” 

“You did what, Eddie?” Stanley gasps and opens his mouth in shock again. Eddie nods, a prideful smile on his own lips.

“Yeah, he saved my life, I think.” Richie says, a grateful look in his eyes towards Eddie.

“You think? I did save your life, you asshole!” Eddie gets offended, an accusatory look thrown at Richie. Everyone laughs. Eddie is back. “Anyway, Pennywise fell on a spike and got impaled and um, I went over to Richie to tell him I'd done it, and then I got impaled by Pennywise.” Stanley's breath catches in his throat. “They dragged me into one of the caves that was there and I told them I'd crack the way to hurt IT. I found it when I was looking for my token. It was… to make him weaker. Basically, insult him. 

“We tried to run away through a tunnel, but IT caught us. We were back in the center. And then, because I was wounded, I was in a corner while they just started insulting IT. I think you'd be best at IT, Stan. I also think us as kids could have really killed IT then, I mean, the way we talked and the words we used, but I guess as a kid you're more afraid, perhaps you're weaker then. So, anyways, they 'killed him with insults' until he got to a really small size and then they crushed what you could call his heart.

“And, then, of course, we moved out of there. As quick as we could, since they had to carry me and since the entire sewer system and Neibolt House started to come down. And--would you believe it--as they were getting me to the hospital, going through town, our scars healed. All our scars healed. Even my huge wound in the--in my abdomen.”

“Wow. I thought it had been weird that my scar disappeared. Two days after Mike called.” Stanley says, a look of realisation crossing his face. He takes another swig of his beer and sighs. 

“Yeah, and, well… We're all fine. We did it. We killed IT.” Richie finishes the bed-time story. Stanley nods, and then takes a minute to process their words. 

Even though they weren't together, his friends had done it. They'd killed the thing that had fed on fear and fed Stanley and his friends' own fears and anxieties. And the journey, as well as the process of killing IT, was not easy. Stanley would never imagine that it would be rainbows and daisies and unicorns. But what they went through - and the fact that they went through it all for a second time - was horrible, and it still takes a toll on his friends, their hearts, their minds. 

Bill's obviously still feeling guilt for his brother and the kid Richie talked about. Richie is still processing what he saw, processing what happened to Eddie. Beverly is still getting over her childhood abuse. Ben's still quiet, he's still shy and insecure, even though he's turned into the hottest man on Earth. Mike and Eddie are the ones who seem the most free, most free from their self-created fears and trauma from IT and their childhoods. Stanley can only hope and wish the rest of his friends to achieve the same freedom. 

“You guys are… Wow, I can't even find the right words. Um,” Stanley runs a hand over his face and looks over his friends again, “you really are heroes. No one might know it, you might not be world-famous heroes, but you guys are heroes. For yourselves and for me.” 

The Losers can only give him shy smiles in response, nod, look down. They clearly don't think so highly of themselves, but that's the crystal clear difference between them and Stanley. Stanley always saw them as the most beautiful, the best, best, best people in the whole world. He saw them as the best friends ever, the best friends in the whole world and the only people he could be friends with. They understood him, they cheered him up, they loved him and they made him laugh and made him smile. Most of all, they filled up his heart and made him believe in himself. That's the best part.

“Let's do a group hug.”

And so they did.

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[softforcal]

the roommate!5sos AU continued with Poly 4/4?

ROOMMATE!5SOS POLY CONTINUED

-you were leaving your job at the coffee shop when you bumped into a guy with bright hair coming out from the stairway leading up to the apartment above

-as he helped you pick up your things you mused that we was lucky to be living above the cafe because it must always smell like coffee

-he casually says, “i mean, if you’re looking for a place, one of our rooms just opened up.”

-you stop and stare at him and he explains that his friend Luke moved in with his girlfriend so the rooms available and he was going to make a post about it online but he won’t even bother if you’re actually interested

-”you know what? yeah. i’m interested.”

-exchanging numbers and the next day you agree to see the apartment after a shift when he and his other two room mates will be there

-showing up with free coffee

-”i like you already coffee girl.” Ashton smirks as soon as he sees your offering of coffee

-you’re kinda shook because you had thought you’d only have to deal with one hot room mate, Michael, but his friends are hot too?!

-part of you is like dont move in because they’re all hot

-but part of you is like do move in because they’re all hot

-its a decent apartment

-like… a four bedroom, two bathroom with an open concept kitchen living room?

-and you were right about the smell of coffee

-and because there’s already three living there its actually fairly well priced because the rent is split four ways

-you’d have to share a bathroom with one of them but that’s not the worst thing

-and its right above your work.

-you hang out for a while, getting to know the guys to see if it would be a good fit

-”i’ll take it.” “really!?” group hug

-Ashton and Calum are super down to help you move all your stuff in but Michael isnt as down, he just chills in the living room and plays video games and yells at the guys about being careful

-when its all finished you all somehow manage to collapse onto the couch together and end up playing video games

-Calum’s actually a great cook?

-the first week is a bit difficult, getting used to people’s schedules and figuring out how to share a bathroom with Michael

-a week in and you’d already helped Michael dye his hair

-you hear a lot about their old room mate Luke and they all seem to be on the phone with him a lot, you gather that his whole new relationship apartment isnt working out

-you first meet Luke when you come home one day and he’s on the couch with Calum and he looks pretty rough

-but he still smiles and says hello

-he seems nice too

-you’re in your room later that night and you hear the other three in the kitchen talking about Luke.

-”i just don’t know what we can do.” “we can’t kick Y/N out.” “so where else can he go.” “i mean, he can stay in my room, its the biggest one-” “another guy living here? we need to talk to Y/N about it.”

-you peak your head out and are just like, “if Luke needs to move back in, i can find a new place-” but they’re all super against it.

-”i have space for him in my room, but having another guy here-” Ashton begins but you cut him off, “no, definitely. i don’t mind.”

-so Luke moves back in and stays in Ashton’s room which does have enough space for both

-Luke’s pretty beaten up about everything so a lot of just hanging out and making him feel better

-Michael spends way too much time playing video games in the living room

-and when he’s not there he’s in his bedroom talking to his team mates on pc games

-Ashton somehow fit an electric drum kit into his room so he can play without it being loud but somehow you can still hear his sticks hitting the pats and you feel bad for any girl who’s ass becomes that boys drum kit

-or jealous. jealous is a good word

-Calum’s pretty quiet but he’s a good room mate, always down to cook for you or listen to your problems

-he’s just a chiller

-Luke sings too loud in the shower

-and this boy could burn boiling water

-he’s kind of a walking human disaster

-movie nights where they all talk way too much

-they talk about making a band but never actually ever do it

-Ashton sometimes walks you to work. which sounds sweet but all he has to do is go down a flight of stairs so screw this guy

-your co workers all being jealous because they’re all so hot

-”thats your roommate?” “no i thought her roommate was that gorgeous blonde guy with the sad eyes.” “they both are.”

-they come down during your shifts sometimes to hang out, especially during the non-busy hours

-Ashton will flirt with your co-workers but Calum is the one you have to watch out for

-he’s quiet but all your coworkers are just so in love with his ‘dreamy eyes’

-they always draw smiley faces on his coffee cups when they make him coffee

-Luke comes down to be sweet and say hi and you’re coworkers call him “angel” because he’s beautifully angelic

-and then there’s Michael. he always knows how to make your coworkers laugh

-”oh my god did you see his smile?” “yes, i live with him.”

-you can never bring boys over because unless you sneak him into your room, the guys will for sure make a deal about it

-and if you bring girls over they’ll fawn over your room mates and that can be super annoying so no thank you

-its so weird when girls are over with them. i mean. they are 20 year old boys

-whenever you go into the living room in the morning to see Luke on the couch its not long before a girl runs out of Ashton’s room and out the front door

-they invite you to boys night clubbing

-on Fridays they do clubbing, you know that because the house is dead quiet on Saturday mornings because they’re all passed out

-finding Calum asleep on the kitchen counter one Saturday morning

-taking care of Michael in your shared bathroom because he’s puking

-watching Saturday cartoons and they all trudge into the room sooner or later

-Calum’s usually first and he likes to lay down with his head on your lap

-Luke likes tummy rubs when he’s hung over

-Ashton always try to make it seem like he’s not that hung over but lets just say cowboy hats and sunglasses are a Saturday thing

-so you go out on a friday

-and you end up being dragged onto the dance floor

-they’re all protective of you which means you somehow end up in the middle of all four

-Ashton knows how to sexy dance… hands

-Michael’s kinda awkward but its all good

-Luke is a puppy who just wants to dance with friends

-Calum looks bored most of the night but he also knows how to dance to the beat

-any guy that flirts with you has to watch out for these four showing up

-the night ends with all five of you just heading home together without any hook ups

-Calum carries you home while the other three drunkenly walk around you

-its so hard for all of them to try to fit through the front door at once

-Calum puts you in bed and goes back into the living room where they’re all kinda just like “are we going to talk about the fact that Y/N is sexy as fuck yet or are we going to continue to ignore the elephant in the room.”

-”we can not flirt with our roommate.” “why not?” “because…. just because.”

-now you’re the hung over one and they all want to take care of you

-Calum’s the first one to show up and you just drag him onto the bed to cuddle onto his chest

-so who’s going to cook you breakfast? Not Luke. that’s all i can say.

-Ashton cooks something and comes and sits at the foot of your bed with you and Calum

-Michael comes and jumps into the bed on the other side of you while Ashton makes room for Luke

-somehow you’re all fitting

-”you guys know you’re ruining my sex life right?” (Luke chokes on his water)

-Calum likes to walk around shirtless

-Michael sometimes walks in and goes pee while you’re in the shower

-trying to do the same thing to him and he screamed

-borrowing Ashton’s button ups sometimes because they are so sexy

-braiding Luke’s hair because with that much hair someone’s gotta braid it

-i feel like Calum and Ashton are the ones who do the shopping. you sometimes go with but it usually ends up with them chasing you around the store and Ashton trying to tell you how much sugar is in everything you’re buying because health is important

-impromptu dance parties with Luke where you both sing at the top of your lungs

-Calum walks in on the dance parties and sits down and watch with a grin, Ashton shows up and definitely makes the dancing more sexual whereas Michael just puts his face in his hands and laughs

-probably getting drunk one night and playing Never Have I Ever and Truth or Dare

-my 4/4 things always get to a point where you gotta choose one and i can’t do that for you so i gotta stop but if people want it i can continue this for each guy <3

————————————————————-POLY5SOS CON’T HERE

-so never have i ever

-these boys looked into Polyamory because they are so fucking wrecked that none of them can make a move because they made a pact

-”truth.” you say. “you’re no fun.” Michael groans but Ashton shushes him, turning to you, “what do you think about Polyamory?”

-you’re kinda taken aback by the question

-you expected something dirty but no?

-”well uhhhh…. i mean it’s an interesting idea. i think with the right communication it could work really well.” you kind of look at all your room mates because why the fuck was that a question

-the game continues and as soon as it’s one of their turns the question goes back to you again, “i really think you should give someone else a turn Mikey.” you laugh

-”nope, truth or dare?”

-you really don’t want a dare from Michael. like out of all of them he’s the one you’re sure would really try to mess with you

-”truth.” you sigh

-he is visibly upset that you chose truth but sighs, “would you be down for a poly relationship with all of us?”

-oooop. there it is.

-looking at all of them. “you guys totally planned this!” you scream

-”answer the question.” Michael grins

-you sigh, taking a swig of your choice of alcohol that you’ve been drinking this whole time, “well i mean we already all live together and you’re all hot as fuck so yeah probably.”

-you turn to Luke, “okay, you’re turn Luke. truth or dare?”  and you know this little fuck is going to say truth because he hasn’t done a dare all night

-”truth.”

-”tell me who came up with this whole Poly thing. spill everything Luke. every. single. detail.”

-he looks at you and gulps then just begins to spill all the goods

-”Michael thought you were cute which is why he offered you a room and when you showed up and you were cute everyone freaked out a little but made a pact not to do anything about it but then Ashton was talking about Polyamory one day and we all looked into it and thought it was a good idea.”

-”so Ashton is the mastermind?”

-”yeah.”

-Ashton is just sitting there with a grin, “i still think its a good idea.”

-so now it’s Luke’s turn but how is he even going to ask anything, they’re all too shook that you would be down

-”umm… Ash, truth or dare?” Luke asks

-and of course Ashton is always down for a “dare”

-”kiss Y/N.”

-of fucking course

-you should have known that would also be part of their plan

-but you never thought Luke would betray you like that. “i mean, if you’re cool with it Y/N.” Luke clarifies. okay. he’s forgiven.

-you sigh and look at Ashton, “okay, go for it.”

-don’t have to tell this boy twice

-he moves closer and cups your face, bringing your lips to his

-his tongue slides against your bottom lip and then his teeth graze it too and you open your mouth slightly, leaning into the kiss

-it lasts longer than you intended

-only ending when Michael says “holy fuck.” and it snaps you out of this little Ashton world you were in

-you pull away and immediately feel yourself flush as Ash grins

-you can’t believe you’re doing this. with your roommates

-your work mates are going to shit a brick

-”so how would you guys want to do this?” you ask

-”it’s not your turn.” Michael laughs

-”screw this game, you guys accomplished what you wanted didn’t you?” you laugh, “seriously, how the fuck is this going to work?”

-having a long discussion about it

-Ash wants to go out and take you on a date but Luke and Michael are too tired, so it’s you, Ash and Cal

-they’re a dream team

-it’s a cute date, holding both of their hands

-getting back to the apartment… and like… they’ve been handsy all night

-ending up in your room

-yeah, they both dom as fuck

-of course the three of you wake up Michael and Luke who show up and are like “what the actual fuck.”

-so of course they join

-and it’s one big mass sex thing but it just works.

-waking up squished between two of them with the other two touching you somehow with an arm thrown over two bodies to get to you

-and they’re all so beautiful all sleepy

-ya’ll need to buy a bigger bed

-they’re all so cuddly

-they all groan a ton too because no one wants to wake up

-the entire pack walking you down the stairs to work

-they all want to be the last one to kiss you

-your work mates are shook as fuck

-they all go upstairs and are just like that was fucking wild

-Luke and Michael meet you after work and take you out for dinner for their date with you

-they’re also super sweet

-Michael teases you about getting some ‘sugar’ when you all get home

-getting there and Cal and Ash are gone

-so Muke threesome

-like, these boys tend to be home in pairs throughout the day and then everyone is usually home by dinner

-so dinners are a thing

-Cal usually cooks for all of you but you guys all try to help

-nudity is chill now that you’re all seeing each other

-like, so much nudity

-so much sex too

-and you’re all together so sex anywhere in the apartment

-Michael is a shower fucker because ya’ll share a bathroom

-Cal likes to eat on the kitchen counter and you’re his favourite meal

-Luke is a fan of the couch

-and Ashton will bend you over anywhere, he aint picky

-they get so used to just sex everywhere

-like Luke gets home and Cal has you on the kitchen counter, his face between your thighs and Luke just is like “hey” and Cal pulls away briefly to be like “sup.” before diving back in.

-Calum asking you and Luke which outfit to wear out while Luke fucks you into the couch, “the blue one or the grey one?” “fuck, Cal, the blue one.” “you like that babe? and yeah, Cal, the blue.”

-like lets be real here. the apartment becomes a sex dungeon.

-it would be hella.

-someone is always down for “the sex”

-hanging out 24/7

-im going to be real. im tired and have been sitting looking at this one for ages. imma stop it here, sorry fam. but sex. a lot.

[facelessfrey]

Roswell New Mexico - S1E9

- Finally, I feel like we’re getting somewhere! Hooray! I love an episode with plot development and people interacting in the present and not everything being exclusively about the past!

- Let’s just get the Maria/Michael talk out of the way first. Look, they have great flirty chemistry. They were a lot of fun together in this episode and I enjoyed them. That said, it was clearly a drunken one night stand in the middle of the desert that both of them, or well, at least Maria, pretty much regretted immediately upon waking. And again, with them being adults in this version of the show, they can totally do something like this and move on from it relatively easily because they’re not messy, hormonal teenagers. They’re messy adults instead, but I think the can be mature about it in this case. We’ll see going forward but the fact that they bookended the episode with Michael and Alex scenes definitely says something. 

- Speaking of those scenes...it’s a bit crazy that it had been six weeks since the last episode so it’s been a long time since they’ve talked, longer than I expected. But anyway, I liked how they showed Michael’s frustration because it did all end very abruptly for him and while it was a break up, it wasn’t really the kind of break up where things felt finished. There was clearly so much unresolved there and I’m glad they got that across. And I felt bad for Alex, not really being able to say what he wanted to say in that first scene. So I was really glad, first of all to get that scene at the end of the episode because I did not expect it, and two that Alex didn’t just walk away again, that he said what he needed to say. I also liked that he called out the fact that their ten years of pining was based on just a ‘cosmic’, as Michael put it, connection rather than on actually really knowing each other. I fully support them being friends and learning about each other first this time around and falling in love all over again. Sounds like a plan. We’ll see if that actually happens but I have some measure of hope. 

- I also really enjoyed Kyle in this episode figuring out that Alex’s type was ‘angsty cowboy alien’ and supporting that and giving him the nudge to talk to him. Thanks Kyle! I also loved the reference to Max being ‘tall’ again. Haha. 

- back to Maria for a second though. Can we please tell her the damn truth about everything already?!! Everyone else knows now. Alex, Cameron, even Noah. Maria needs to know. Maria needs to properly be a part of this story, not just a ons hook up to prove that Michael is bisexual. She better find out this season or I’m going to be pissed off. Also, knowing her mom may not be totally losing it with respect to the alien talk, might actually give her some peace of mind and maybe just maybe in Mimi’s ramblings, they might be able to glean some information. Just a thought. But really, please tell Maria the truth. (end of rant)

- Anyway, back to the rest of the episode. I was glad to see that Cameron went to Alex instead of just reporting to Jesse. I continue to think it’s hilarious that Kyle just assumes everyone knows about aliens. First just blurting things out to Liz and now just blurting out Max’s name, not really knowing that Alex knows for sure. I mean, I guess he could surmise it since they were in the Project Shepherd headquarters but still. haha. I love Kyle. 

- The trip to the faith healer was a lot of fun. I liked that Max wanted to heal Michael’s hand as the experiment. I really wish they’d actually talk about that though. I also thoroughly enjoyed the bar scenes with the karaoke and the dancing and Liz calling Michael ‘Mikey’ as well as Maria and Michael wandering around lost. I like that this episode was all very 285 South with the motel and everyone ending up together. It was just all very enjoyable to watch. 

- The Max and Liz stuff took me by surprise a bit. I mean, I could kind of see where it was going as the episode progressed and obviously they covered some ground in episode 8 as well with Liz agreeing to try and save Isobel in the first place despite everything. At the end of episode 6, it basically felt impossible that they would ever get together so having it happen by episode 9 is probably a little bit rushed but I didn’t hate it. I mean, if they were going to make it work there was always going to have to be some measure of compromise on Liz’s part. She was going to have to see past the unintended consequences of Max’s actions in letting Rosa take the fall for the accident no matter what. There’s no getting around that. It doesn’t matter if Isobel ended up somewhat innocent. They were responsible for the cover up, period. So Liz was always going to have to find a way to forgive that and giving them both sisters that they would do anything for and having her understand that instinct was a decent way to do that. It’s always going to be a sticking point in canon but what can you do. I thought they did a decent job with it and giving her this mission to save Isobel and letting her see Max so desperate to save her, puts them in a situation for her to be more sympathetic. But still, I like that she’s allowed to make quips with Kyle about that stuff anyway. It’s not completely gone. Isobel still killed Rosa based on all the facts at the moment. But I can see where she would ease off of her anger towards Max. 

- I also liked the juxtaposition between Alex saying to Michael ‘we just connected, we don’t even really know each other that well’ with Liz trying to say the same to Max, that he doesn’t know her, that he loves a version of her that doesn’t exist and him telling her all he does know and love about her. 

- The kiss was good. It was also set to a cover of Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls, which happens to have been my first fandom obsession so always a win. Haha. 

- Aside from all of the relationship stuff...plot development! More murders! More cover ups! Finally fourth alien talk! Thank god! I was afraid we’d never get here and I’m glad we did. 

-  I thought the scene with the older native woman was good, definitely shades of River Dog and nasedo talk from the original series, which was fun. So that means there were multiple other aliens. Plus, Max being extra and basically stripping was hilarious. And I loved the woman’s ‘committed’ and ‘you’re not what I expected’ lines too. Also interesting bringing in the native american connection since maybe that could link up to Alex too. 

- Noah seeing the pods was interesting. I still don’t know what to make of him. I don’t feel like he’s going to be the fourth alien really, even if it is my pet theory, because it would be kind of silly at this point. But also, I don’t know who else it could be if it’s still going to be someone we’ve seen. Perhaps not. 

- Also...Max sleeping in the caves and reading Isobel apparently every book known to man over the last six weeks is the most Max thing ever. And Michael using his telekinesis to move test tubes over to Liz in his secret alien lab was amazing. More please! 

[chocolatemillkk]

Livestream Confession (JS)

Request by @yourdogsdaddy : can you do a Joe Sugg imagine where your best friends and your doing a live stream with everyone and you both like each other and you have an argument because you did something semi serious like accidentally cut your leg ( not self harm) and he gets really protective and your like oh it’s not a big dead why you propper stressing then he accidentally admits his feels for you in front of the buttercream squad etc and it’s all fluff

----------------------------------------

"Okay is everyone in frame?" Joe stands behind the camera pulling it back to get the whole couch in. "Y/N switch spots with Jack."

I get up and switch spots so I'm sitting second to last on the couch. Joe sits beside me once he's satisfied with the result.

"Mate you forgot to turn it on," Jack points out. We all groan but Josh gets off his seat to turn it on. Everyone continues to tease Joe about it as the live count begins to increase.

"Leave Joe alone I'm sure one of you would have made the same mistake," I yell out in the midst of everyone talking.

"Ooh Y/N is sticking up for Joe," Conor raises his eyebrows and with that joke, everyone finally quiets down.

"Hey guys welcome to the livestream! Most of the boys have managed to make it except Byron and Mikey who is probably late. We do have Y/N who's an unofficial member of the buttercream-"

"Is she though?" Conor pipes up again and I hit him in the arm to get him to shut up. He wraps his arm around my shoulders and pulls me in to mess up my hair and I notice Joe giving him a dirty look.

"So send in your questions and we'll try our best to answer them. We also have a couple games planned." Joe finishes.

"Here's a good one: who is the hottest buttercream?" Jack squints at the screen to read it.

"Obviously Jack," Caspar says from his end of the sofa.

"I dunno guys in the right lighting it could be me," Josh leans against the sofa with pretend confidence.

"Joe's pretty hot with a moustache," I half-joke and the comments coming in go wild. Most of them disagreeing.

"Joe's moustache looked like something died on his face!" Caspar comments.

"It wasn't that bad," Oli agrees with me.

"Why has this livestream become a pick-on-Joe fest?" Joe complains.

We answer a few more questions and ignore most of the insensitive ones coming in about Joe and I or if I was dating a buttercream. Mikey eventually joins us and is forced to sit on the floor near Jack.

"Okay so I found this online a few days ago and thought I have to buy it for a video. I've got most of the boys here since Mikey's finally joined us-"

"Sorry guys I was running late-" Mikey tries to explain himself but Joe carries on.

"This is similar to the childbirth simulator but we're playing two truths and a lie..." Joe continues to outline the game still packaged in plastic. He attempts to open it up but it's sealed shut.

"I've got scissors!" I call as I leap off the sofa and grab a pair. I'd been at Joe's place so often I practically lived there which meant I knew where most things were. I sit back down and begin cutting the package, trying to avoid cutting the actual product. I cut halfway and attempt to pull the rest of the plastic off but the sharp edge made with the scissors slices into my skin and it begins bleeding immediately.

"Shit," the cut burns and I drop the package.

"Y/N!" The boys hustle to grab napkins and rush them over to me while I press them on.

"Y/N why aren't you more careful?!" Joe piles the napkins on.

"I'm fine!" I insist. "It's not even deep."

"Doesn't bloody matter," I can tell Joe is getting agitated with the way his fingers run through his hair and his eyebrows furrow.

"Bloody matter, heh nice one." Conor still has time to make a joke and both Joe and I shoot him a dirty look. He raises his hands in defence and leans away.

"Joe I'm fine," I try to remove his hands and apply the pressure with my own. "I should go wash this up."

"Just let the bleeding stop," he passes me more tissues.

"Joe I'm fine stop stressing out about it so much!" I look to the other boys for support but they're just watching my leg wide-eyed and looking around at each other. "Goodness Joe why are you getting so worked up? I'll just wash up and stick a bandaid on it."

"Because you're never careful," he says to me.

"I'm always careful," my stubborn streak argues back.

"You've got a million cuts and bruises all over you from stupid accidents you've got to be more careful!"

"Why does it even matter it's no big deal! You always get so worked up when I get hurt! Why does it bother you so much?!" I argue back.

"Because I love you!" Joe blurts.

Every time I thought about infinity, it was always too large for me to comprehend. But the few seconds between Joe's confessions and Caspar saying "what the fuck Joe" revealed what an infinite amount of seconds actually was as nobody spoke or even breathed. It was pure silence-the livestream forgotten and the world narrowing down to the two of us.

"What the fuck Joe?" Caspar says and it breaks the spell.

"Maybe we should-" Jack gets up to sign off the camera and Conor climbs behind us on the sofa and wraps his arms around both of us.

"It's about time isn't it," Conor squeezes us to him and Joe pushes him off. He's staring at me watching my expression and I'm shell-shocked.

"Joe finally grew some balls but it was all in front of a livestream so great timing," Josh comments in his dry sense of humour.

"It was probably for the views anyway," Mikey jokes.

"Should we take the video down?" Oli asks.

But the entire time I'm just looking at Joe who's looking at me. The boys are background noise. It's only Joe and I.

"Sorry," Joe whispers so only I could hear. Suddenly my body works again and tears fill my eyes.

"Excuse me," I get up and walk to the bathroom to wash up but also to process what just happened. Of course I loved Joe, I'd loved him since Caspar introduced us. And over the years my love for him only grew in ways I didn't know were possible. And I always felt he had feelings for me to but to blurt it out like that in front of everyone and a livestream was a lot to process.

"I imagined a lot of ways to say those three words to you but that wasn't one of them I promise," Joe steps into the doorframe and stuffs his hands into his pockets. "I'm kind of angry at myself."

I take a deep breath and let it out. "It wasn't the best way to say it but I'm glad I know how you feel for sure."

"Yeah you and a million others," Joe shakes his head and comes closer.

"It won't be so bad," I try to reassure him. "By the time next week rolls around we'll be old news."

"It's not that," Joe rubs the back of his neck. "I wanted to keep that private and I know how you are about your privacy too. I'm sorry."

Joe wraps my hands in his and I close the space between our bodies.

"It's alright Joe, it's not the end of the world. If YouTube's taught us anything it's how to have thick skin."

"That's what I love about you," he pushes my hair behind my ear and smiles. "And I love I can say that now."

I put my hands on his shoulders and his hands wrap around my waist instinctively. We inch closer until I realise something.

"I almost forgot," I whisper. Our faces are so close my lips brush his as I talk. "I love you too Joe."

Joe's happiness shines on his face as does mine as we finally close the distance and take the step together from friends to something more.

Suddenly there's howling from the other end of the hall and we break away to see all the boys watching our first kiss play out. They cheer us on but Joe only flips them off and pulls me in again, closing the door behind him to continue where we left off.

[mikeyd1986]

MIKEY’S PERSONAL BLOG 135, December 2018

Last Saturday night, I attended the CinFull Fitness Christmas break-up held at The Main Cafe Bar Restaurant in Berwick. Considering that I had to work for 9 hours and quickly got myself changed after work (into an ugly Christmas sweater of course), I was amazed at how “awake” I was. The restaurant was a lot more fully booked than I expected and I could tell that the staff were flat off their feet. I easily found the table that Cinamon booked for us so I just decided to walk on over.

The sad reality is that I hardly ever go out socially so tonight I was making the most of it. Still, I was being sensible with my alcohol intake especially when I had to get up early for work the next day. Cinamon made up these cute little gift bags with a personalised name tag, each containing some bath bombs and choccies. It was a really sweet and thoughtful gesture. I decided to order the poached chicken with chips, which ironically was the first meal to arrive considering I got there a bit late.

Even though social situations will continue to be a challenge for me, I was doing my best simply tuning into the conversations happening around me. As I’ve stated before in previous blogs, it takes a while for me to be comfortable enough to open up about myself to people. I guess it’s a self-defensive mechanism of mine, being cautious about who I trust and trying my best not to get hurt. I’m certainly not a closed book either, simply just shy and reserved.

I could also tell that these girls (and guy) were all pretty relaxed around me. That actually puts me at ease because I know girls can have preconceived notions about men but the truth is that they have nothing to fear. I try to be the most easy going, friendly, caring, humble man because that’s my nature. We did have plenty of laughs and somehow I managed to stay for over 2 hours, which is a pretty big achievement for me.

I didn’t even need to rush over to the toilet once (for a mental regroup) so that shows my progress with being in social situations. I enjoyed my night and I’m really looking forward to smashing more fitness and confidence goals in 2019 with CinFull Fitness.

On Monday afternoon, I had an appointment with my occupational therapist Ambika from Everyday Independence. I was feeling a bit nervous and apprehensive today as I really didn’t know what I’d be in for. I did my best to create a calming, relaxed space in the dining room with my folder full of notes, a notepad, glass of water and radio playing softly in the background. At least I could say that I was physically prepared for this.

The appointment seemed to go pretty smoothly as Ambika gauged what I needed assistance with at home and together we put together a helpful weekly planner to add household chores to including cooking, cleaning, dusting vacuuming, sweeping, wiping certain rooms of the house. She also made it realistic and manageable, considering I don’t do many of these tasks currently, in order to build up motivation and confidence gradually.

She’s set me the task of preparing my own recipe for dinner including writing out a shopping list and buying all the ingredients. Sounds simple enough, it’s just the “doing” part now. Ambika also recommended a few apps I could use to help with moods, coping strategies for stress and anxiety as well as daily planning and checklists. These are Daylio - Diary, Journal and Mood Tracker, Headspace: Meditation and Mindfulness and Google Keep - Notes & Lists.  

On Monday night, I attended my last Boxing class for the year with Cinamon Guerin at CinFull Fitness in Narre Warren South. It’s hard to believe that it’s been five months since I’ve joined this group and I can definitely see the improvements I’ve made with my confidence, focus, determination and drive. I’ve always been slow to warm up when it comes to learning boxing techniques and combos but it doesn’t take me long before I’ve “got it”. https://www.expertboxing.com/boxing-basics/how-to-box/the-beginners-guide-to-boxing

It was just a couple of us tonight (Sam, Sarah and myself) but I was content with that. I was actually worried that I wouldn’t get there on time with all the local peak-hour traffic making me run late but I made it. We did some EMOM (Every Minute on the Minute) drills which involved 10 jabs, 20 uppercuts, 30 highs and 40 hooks plus 4 side to side straddles, 10 star jumps, a squat hold and 10 V-crunches. Plus some continuous walking combos which made us all laugh.  

I’m hoping that in the new year, I’ll be able to come to classes more regularly and even stick around for a “double” one time. But right now I know my limits in terms of physical fitness. It’s something I need to continue to work on so that I don’t get as tired or fatigued as often. It’s about forming better habits and smashing through goals gradually. It doesn’t matter how many times I go off track, I’m going to keep bringing myself back.

On Tuesday morning, Mum and I attended the City of Casey - School Crossing Supervisor’s Christmas social function held at Zagame's Berwick Hotel. Switching the venue from last year’s event at the Lynbrook Hotel to here seemed like a good idea on paper considering how large the turnout was. Sadly, they still ran into a few problems such as using a “random bingo number” system to organise everyone’s meal orders. It was chaotic and messy to say the least especially with Sonya having to yell out the numbers instead of using a microphone. Going table by table would have been much more efficient but never mind.

We were lucky to sit in a comfy circular booth near the rear of the Sports Bar with Mum’s friend Val plus Kay and Ray. They put on a Morning Melodies performance for an hour, playing a mixture of Christmas songs (Hark Now Hear The Angels Sing, Blue Christmas, Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree) and a few classics including ABBA’s Dancing Queen and Honey Honey, You’re The One That I Want by John Travolta & Olivia Newton John and Sugar, Honey Honey by The Archies.

After the drama with the main meals was over, Dreena (the School Crossing Co-ordinator) announced a few years of service awards and drew out some door prizes. Mum was lucky enough to win one which I was very pleased about. As expected, I got asked the question of what I’ll be doing next year. I always find it really daunting and hard answering because I never really know myself. I’ve lived this year pretty much day to day.

It’s like people expect you to have your life mapped out for the next 5-10 years but in reality, I’m lucky to plan a month in advance. However, I am considering enroling in one of the free TAFE courses such as the Certificate IV in Mental Health as I have personal experience as well as a keen interest in that area. Plus I still have a burning passion for creative writing including blogs and music/movie reviews and also getting back into art again. So there you go. Hopefully that’s a satisfying enough answer for those wondering.

On Tuesday night, I went to the final Body Balance class for 2018 with Astrid held at YMCA Casey RACE in Cranbourne East. I was still feeling very tense through my upper back and shoulders after my boxing session last night so I figured some yoga and pilates stretches should help with that. We did the new release (number 83) which features tracks including Towards The Sun by Rhianna, Die Young by Sylvan Esso, There She Goes by Leon Bridges, I Need a Forest Fire by James Blake & Bon Iver. https://www.lesmills.com/workouts/fitness-classes/bodybalance/#facType=modal&filterType=0&classes=bb

Overall, this wasn’t a bad release. The balance tracks and Pilates were the most challenging parts for me but I did what I could given my limitations. Here is a breakdown of the exercises: Tai Chi Warm Up (Overhead arm circles, Flowing Water arms), Sun Salutations (Forward Fold, Low Lunge, Downward Facing Dog, Plank, Crocodile, Baby Cobra), Standing Strength (Warrior 1, Warrior 2, Joyful Warrior, Intense Pose), Balance (Half Moon pose, Falling Star pose), Pilates Core (Foot circles, V-crunches, Bicycle crunches, Bow pose), Twists and Seated Poses (Swan pose, Wide Legged Forward Fold with Side Stretches, Half Lord of the Fishes pose), Hamstrings (Butterfly pose, Happy Baby pose) and Relaxation. https://www.livestrong.com/article/39660-body-balance-class/

On Friday morning, I had my first appointment with a speech pathologist named Amon from Everyday Independence. Was it going to be like the opening scene from Everybody Loves Raymond? (THEY’RE COMING! Come and sing a song of joy!). Probably not. That’s just my anxiety trying hard to freak me out. New person alert. Oh shit! It’s something I need to seriously confront in order to gain more self confidence really. And the reality is that he’s here to help me. https://www.everydayind.com.au/our-therapies/speech-pathology/

Today’s assessment involved being asked a lot of scerario-based questions related to my communication skills and how I talk with people I know and people I’m not familiar with. It was pretty difficult and confronting at times especially the part on making conversation. This is an area where I have huge issues and a lot of sensitivity about ever since my childhood. Plus it’s really draining answering questions for 1.5 hours. https://www.everydayind.com.au/therapy/communications-skills/

Luckily, Amon was very friendly and easy going. It was just tough coming up with decent answers like how I respond in certain situations and trying to remember specific examples of times when this happened. When you’re in a brain fog or you simply can’t come up with anything, it’s embarrassing as. But Amon was quite patient during these awkward silences and didn’t push me too hard.

We also came up with a couple of goals to work towards over the next 12 months. This includes: Being more confident and using strategies to make conversation with others, especially people that I’m not familiar with. Developing friendships with people I feel comfortable with and be able to spend time socially with in the future. I rated my level of importance has high for both of these goals. Hopefully 2019 will be a more successful year for me in terms of achieving more self-confidence and better communication.

“The cold wind is blowin' and the streets are getting dark. I'm writin' you a letter and I don't know where to start. The bells will be ringin' Saint John the Divine. I get a little lonely every year around this time...I've got to know (Nobody ought to be all alone on Christmas). Where do the lonely hearts go (Nobody ought to be all alone on Christmas). Oh cause' nobody ought to be all alone on Christmas.” Darlene Love - All Alone On Christmas (1992)

“All around the world. Anticipation. 'Cause here it comes again (you see). No matter where you are. It could be near or far. But it still feels like Christmas time to me. I tell you what you already know. Forget and ready to let it go. The countdown has begun. Whether you're in the mmh. North, South, it's all the same. Let your troubles fade away. Get ready to love everyone.” Kylie Minogue & Dannii Minogue - 100 Degrees (2015)