#and i am legally obligated to commit to the bit

[riddlemearose]

hello i have come to ask more about wild with magic he cant controll

i love that hc so much and it fits him so well! like no one taught him bc hyrule was mostly empty, and he wouldnt even know he had it himself because why would he! its genius!

Sure, I’m happy to info-dump lmao.

I know other people have already come up with the "Wild has magic" headcanon about botw before, but for me it honestly started as a series of jokes with a friend. Basically it made sense to me since all the other Champions’ abilities are either outwardly shown to be magic like with Mipha and Urbosa, or at least implied to be, as in the case of Daruk’s magic being hereditary, and Revali’s being something no other Rito has managed to achieve.

So we were both like “oh yeah, he’s got to have magic” *cue shitposts and memes*

There’s minor evidence to support its existence in botw; Teba says to Wild “it was as if time stopped with every arrow you let fly”, and Daruk’s Training Journal mentions that Link once told him that it feels like time slows down when he focuses. Some people take this to mean Wild has really good reflexes and others went with magic. I’m in the ‘Wild has magic’ camp bc someone did the math and worked out he’s like… almost moving at super-sonic speeds when he closes the distance to start a flurry rush.

The reason I say he can’t really control it is bc the only time he’s ever shown being able to do so is to enter and exit bullet time. That’s literally it. If you dodge at the right moment, even if you don’t want to flurry rush, it’ll still trigger and give you the opening to perform one (which ends after like 1-2 seconds of inaction). Wild also doesn’t have a magic meter like some other Links do; he uses his stamina. He’s literally brute-forcing his way through his magic (which, side note, Urbosa must’ve hated watching). And, to build off that last sentence, this means that Wild probably doesn’t have a lot of magic, but he does recover it incredibly fast – especially compared to the others who have to use potions. More on this last part in a moment.

It’s true that no one was there to teach him per se, but I think it’s a tad more complicated than that bc botw has an odd thing where it shows a lot of magic users (at least as far as I understand when compared to other games) but doesn't go into detail, which is fair given the Calamity. This means we don't really have a concept of how prevalent magic usage is in the grand scheme of things.

Looking at the series in a whole, for hylians/humans magic is largely limited to the Royal Family (specifically the women of the Royal Family), and they seem to mostly wield light and divine magic, very different from time magic. (The Ocarina of Time is there, but that’s an heirloom and not severely limited with its function based on whether its user has royal blood or not.)

And given how the Sheikah have been treated in botw's Hyrule's history, as they are the only other hylians aside from Flora and Wild who are shown using magic, I'm guessing it's not a skill you want to encourage, and innate magic users, even if they weren't Sheikah, were probably affected by the roll-on effect of the genocide for a very long time. This would create a long, deep-set history of missing knowledge that eventually affects the present.

If you ignore the potential loss of magic teaching, honestly I would assume it’s still hard to teach someone magic when you don’t share that particular type bc it probably requires knowledge that you don't have in regards to how it flows and can be controlled in order to be used. I do very genuinely believe Wild knew that he had magic before he died tho, bc I think Urbosa would’ve told him. It was the only time she ever heard him speak and the convo went something like Urbosa: you have magic. You just did magic. Link: nuh-uh Urbosa: FYM NUH-UH

This lack of training and general knowledge of how magic works is what I partially attribute to his weapons breaking as fast as they do. Attunement doesn’t actually exist obviously, but in fantasy worlds where it’s a part of the magic system, it’s a conscious step. It’s only seems to become an involuntary one when the person attuning the item has a lot of experience with the field that item is used in.

What I mean by that is Wild’s obviously never learnt actual theory (and it might be too late to fix the groundwork he's already laid), so he’s only ever been able to make his magic work in conjunction with the one thing he’s already being trained to do: weapon-fighting.

This is why he has flurry rushes, bullet time, and his fast recharge time. His magic manifests alongside his physical capabilities (so it will recover just as fast as his stamina does) and is attuned to flow through physical objects that simply aren't designed to withstand prolonged exposure to it (so his weapons, bows and shields will degrade and break faster).

I do believe his magic is something he has the ability to train (take the change to how bullet time uses stamina between botw and totk for example), and I personally like to write him getting a one-hit-swing second of slowed down time whenever he parries, but I think these ‘upgrades’ would honestly just come from fighting more and pushing himself in those situations, not from learning basic magic principles lmao.

And honestly, Wild’s magic is just really funny to me bc it has shenanigan potential that’s really only limited by your own creativity and his stamina wheel.

I say that because part of this magic headcanon actually grew from a post-totk headcanon where I whole-heartedly believe that Wild and Flora end up sharing the Sage of Time title, since there’s one extra Secret Stone floating around and they both specialise in different types of time magic. The joke w/ my friend has now become “well, if Wild can’t even willingly activate his magic unless highly specific circumstances are met, wtf is going to happen when it's amplified?"

Answer: he has literally no idea what he’s doing. He has accidentally slowed time on several pots/ladles/plates/etc that got knocked over, mistakenly frozen a yiga sword which yanked it straight out of the yiga’s hand – he meant to freeze the yiga whoops – and intentionally managed to slow time on one (1) bokoblin (and has not managed to replicate that result since). … he’s getting there. Maybe.

(Additional follow up lore can be found in this reblog. Also adding this to prevent future confusion at my accidental vagueness on this: yes Wild knows he has magic.)

[nautilusopus]

christ okay since i'm apparently required to make a goddamn statement about this now since i, a personal shitpost blog, made one 20 note post about this back in november and am therefore both the expert on this subject and also she for sure definitely for realsies followed me on tumblr:

that it's bad when someone is harassed and commits suicide and that the internet loves an easy Justified™ target and that it was clear she was apparently mentally unwell for years leading up to this and that this was unfortunately probably preventable with just a bit of intervention, and that it's bad when someone that has an obligation towards the safety of the animals in her care and her child fails repeatedly in that obligation, much less the other obligation of educating the public about these animals with accurate information rather than just the stuff that generates the most views or is convenient for her, are two facts that coexist super easily. they are not in tension with one another. there is no cognitive dissonance here. harassing people is bad and illegal and cruel. so is keeping animals in abhorrent conditions and buying exotics from poachers before they're weaned. you can dislike both it's super easy, not to sound like a spineless centrist but you don't need to fucking overcorrect.

also pointing out that her rescue is a bad rescue is not harassment it's a statement of fact sorry i changed my mind i'm not leaving this in the tags. y'all need to chill. in terms of the documentation, this was not someone compiling evidence against an uwu smol bean listing every time someone said a Problematic Thing on social media, this was people tracking the records and activities of a legally-recognised business that specifically involves animal welfare (with some very expensive and in some cases very dead animals) that regularly saw thousands of dollars go through it every month. hell, the documentation wasn't even required in a lot of cases because the dangerous bad behaviour was in the videos themselves, uncritically posted and uncritically shared and adored, but plain as day to anyone familiar with these matters. that someone tracked the business expenses and dead animals was honestly just dotting the Is and crossing the Ts. you do not need to dig to see this was a bad rescue and anyone demanding proof should just watch the videos themselves, no extracurricular googling required.

it sucks that she took her own life. that's awful. obviously i don't know her personally but that's always sad when that happens and i don't wish it on anyone. but

1. this was absolutely not the only contributing factor, if you're in a hoarding situation you're already not doing great to begin with and that was not anything that the harassment caused, this whole thing was fucked from day one and it was clear she was deeply unwell for a while, you don't start hoarding animals because you're otherwise mentally healthy, and

2. when you present yourself as an organisation and your organisation has a specific goal, it is then possible to evaluate whether or not you are succeeding, and demonstrably, she was not.

absolutely no one is obligated to retroactively delete shit talking about the actual real crimes that happened. i will not be removing the post, as everything in it was a statement of fact (especially the shit about housing cats and dogs and children with exotics being bad, that's like 101 level bad animal rescue).

direct harassment is one thing (something her supporters are otherwise okay with i'm noticing because, like i said, the internet loves an easy Justified™ target and these people are immune to irony), but if she was not able to handle people calmly and factually pointing out she was running a bad rescue (and, in some cases, breaking the law), that is not on strangers on the internet to simply hold their silence on on the off chance she might see it and it would upset her or cause her to spiral. people are not obligated to treat any business this way, no matter how mentally ill the owner or how cute the product.

now piss off, holy shit this is a bird blog i don't even go here

[ladyfallon]

I have been asked so many times about why I am not a big follower of AEW. I have also been told I'm not a true wrestling fan as I am a female (as a 47 year old, I have had this thrown at me since I was 12). As for AEW I don't hate or resent it. I don't hate wrestlers who go there. I have tried so many times to get into it but I just can't. It's one of those things. I don't believe fans should feel obligated to watch one brand but they shouldn't be accused of not being real wrestling fans if they only watch one brand.

This is my experience as a fan. As a kid I grew up going to gyms and bingo halls with my dad watching British wrestling (including the British Bulldog's debut). I then had the joy of WWE (then WWF), WCW, USWA and GLOW on TV. My weekends were awesome. Because WCW was on so late at night we'd sneak snacks into my brother's room in the day then at night my sister and I would quietly creep into my brother's room and the 3 of us would watch it crowded around his mini TV until our dad caught us because my brother laughed so loudly at Paul Heyman's frustration with Bagwell. We found out dad was watching it too so he let us watch it with him on Saturday nights.

As the teen years came on, cousins would watch with us and wrestle with us (some fun times). We started going to events including Summerslam 92. That was crazy for me because I was 3 when my dad took me to my first event and the Bulldog debuted. Now I was watching him main event.

ECW came out and there was more for me as a wrestling fan to get excited about.

As I went to university I made more wrestling based friends and saw more indy stuff which was great after the demise of territorial wrestling in America where the likes of the Von Erichs came through.

That's when I saw the debut of someone my age and the crush hit lol. AJ Styles. He was exciting to watch. I followed his career completely. My attention was then split between WWE and TNA when I left uni and began teacher training. My neighbour was my wrestling viewing buddy and he used to get tired of hearing about TNA as he only liked WWE but then he hated me talking wrestling crushes but that's another story.

I kept up with bits of ROH and NJPW. When AJ left TNA to go independent I was back to watching just WWE while following his career. His last independent match before his WWE Royal Rumble debut was at a spot up the road from where I live (where my dad took me when I was 3). I remember feeling like that little kid again.

Skip forward to a nervous breakdown, I was in a psych ward voluntary to avoid legal committing for 3 months. I was diagnosed with bipolar and bpd. My sister brought me my tablet. They would charge it in the office and then let me have it. It was Wrestlemania weekend and I remember watching it and beginning to feel like I used to and it sparked the road to recovery from a dark spot.

That's when I realised that the WWE had been my biggest source of comfort since childhood.

As I've said before, I can't get into AEW and I've tried. TNA lost its spark (for me personally) when AJ Styles left.

But I am a true fan. I remember moments that I shared with family. When it was the four big events in the wrestling calendar only - the family would watch together eating a buffet and treating it like a party.

As my niece grew up, she found love for the Undertaker not realising his debut as Taker went back to when I was 13.

And now my little person (I'm her guardian), she began to walk because of Big E. She saw him dancing with Kofi and Xavier and began to crawl to the TV, pulled herself up to dance with him. I then kept telling she’d have to walk over to him to dance. Low and behold, she started walking.

Not every memory is happy. Kerry Von Erich's suicide, Sherri, Miss Elizabeth, Owen Hart, Eddie Guerrero, the Benoit Tragedy (some hate me for saying there's more to it than what was shared and if you knew Kevin Sullivan you'd understand why it never made sense) and more recently Bray Wyatt which I had to experience twice because early last year I was admitted to hospital with a DKA was in a coma for a few days with brain swelling and have forgotten so many things since it happened. I'd forgotten he'd died. I told one of my nurses I had 3 weeks to learn to walk again and be home for Wrestlemania and see Bray knock it out of the park. She told me he'd died and I had to go through grief a second time for him. But still wrestling was a catalyst in my recovery.

So no, I don't watch AEW (my brother and nephew always keep me updated on that front) and I only really watch WWE now but it does not mean I am not a true fan. Wrestling still brings me the same joy it did as a kid and I still tell people the same thing then as I do today. Whether you watch one or several organisations, you ARE a fan. Don't feel devalued by someone else's opinion. Wrestling is wrestling, people shouldn't be made to feel inferior by other fans if they don't choose to watch a particular brand. Wrestling fans get looked down upon all the time because people go on about it being fake. We don't need to belittle each other too.

[tigergirltail]

TIGER HRT CHAPTER 2 - MONTH 0 - EXPECTATIONS

FIRST/PREV - NEXT

---

It's been six months. Six months since that weird doctor and his inane little test to prove I'm ready, or at least, ready enough. Six months since I signed a stack of liability waivers forfeiting my right to pursue legal action for any reason up to and including untimely death. Only DAYS left before I can finally claim the entire reason I was there in the first place.

I came home today to find an information package in the mail - things I need to know before making my final commitment to the treatment. It's somewhat reassuring, really. By the sounds of it, this guy has to deal with all kinds of odd requests - I heard a rumour that someone went to him for a chimera treatment at one point - which means that he has to do all this research into side effects personally. …Although there's no telling how much of this is speculation. Concerning.

The information package is divided into different headings, roughly organized by risk factor and how outwardly noticeable they are, as if he's right here with me, trying to scare me off from it.

I decided before I even went to him that I wasn't going to let myself be scared again. Let's see what I'm in for. I sit down and start reading…

SKELETAL STRUCTURE

"Subject's height will noticeably increase. Increase of six inches is expected, increase of one foot is possible."

Huh. I guess I wouldn't mind being taller, but that's definitely going to affect what kinds of clothes I can wear. And I guess I might also get a bit wider proportionally? I'm already plus-size, maybe it'll just level it out.

"Subject may experience a conversion from plantigrade (walking on soles) to digitigrade (walking on toes)."

That makes me stop and think. I'd basically have to re-learn how to walk, and no doubt there's going to be an awkward intermediate period. Will my feet get bigger as well? They're big enough to make me dysphoric as it is. I wonder if I can get custom footwear made… I wonder how much that will cost…

"Subject will experience a reconfiguration of fingers to allow for retractable claws. Persistent soreness is to be expected."

Bluh. I've bitten my nails too close enough times to know how much it sucks not to be able to put pressure on my fingers without pain. I wonder how long that particular effect will last. Due to the lack of timeframe, I can only guess. Months, maybe. Years, I doubt it, but possibly.

"Subject's cranial and facial structure will experience long-term reformation. The effect this will have on brain function is unknown.

And here we get into "you signed a waiver" territory. I had accepted at the outset that death was a possibility, but I'm not sure how to feel about the risk of permanent brain damage. None of the other accounts of therian HRT I've heard seem to mention this, though, so maybe it's just speculation? I move on to the next heading.

DIET

"Tigers, like all felines, are obligate carnivores. Subject will be required to eat real meat (no substitutions) at every meal, or risk symptoms of starvation."

This had already occurred to me, to be honest. Part of the reason a white tiger is my fursona in the first place is because I am an unrepentant meat enjoyer. Heck, maybe a feline body will make meat taste even better.

"Lingering human characteristics may make it possible to digest other food, but the nutritional benefit to subject will be negligible."

…Ah. This was less expected. Does this mean I'll have to start thinking of things like bread and fruit as basically candy? Worse, will I have to avoid it? I love me a good grilled cheese, and poutine is basically an addictive substance, am I going to have to swear off some of my longtime favourites? Out of all of the effects so far, this is the one to give me the most hesitation. Yes, I love food, I'm not afraid to admit it.

"Subject is likely to lose cravings for non-meat food entirely."

I have to sit back and process this one. Back when I started human HRT, one of the things that gave me pause was the idea of decreased libido. That was one of the few things about my body that didn't make me dysphoric, unlike a lot of trans people whose stories I'd read. In the first few months, though, I found it settled into a pleasant sort of medium, where I could have it if I wanted, but it wouldn't show up out of nowhere. Maybe this will be the same way? Maybe poutine can still be a sometimes food? Cats eat weird stuff that's not healthy for them sometimes, but it's fine, right?

Some part of me considers holding a funeral for the abstract concept of poutine.

On to the final heading…

SENSORY EFFECTS

"Subject will gain heightened night vision and hearing. This will cause sleep to become significantly more difficult."

Trust a doctor to find the one downside to one of the coolest effects of the treatment… Do you even know how much I want to hear every beat of the world around me? Do you even understand how useful it would be to be able to see in the dark effortlessly? Having a tiger's eyes and ears would be almost worth every single downside by itself.

Besides, I'm a very heavy sleeper.

"Subject's hearing frequency range will become significantly more broad than a human's. High-pitched noises such as dog whistles will be audible and painful."

Well, I'm sure that's going to suck sometimes, but I don't think I'm exposed to such noises on the regular. Although… I suppose I wouldn't know, with my feeble human frequency range. It's something that might be fine or might suck, I guess.

"Subject's sense of touch will be strongly affected by fur growth."

Sure, that tracks, but I'm kind of looking forward to it. Maybe it's comparable to wearing a full-body fursuit? I've actually missed having opportunities to fullsuit, and I've thought about commissioning a new one if I saved up enough money, but I suppose that won't be necessary now.

Much of the rest of the document is a reminder that everything listed is Permanent and Irreversible short of Major Surgery, with some reminders of the various rights to litigate that I've waived. Ultimately, it sounds like I've got some big changes ahead, but nothing I've seen here is a dealbreaker.

It's slightly terrifying, but I'm excited.

I can't wait to hear the rain through a tiger's ears.

[aaronstveit]

20 questions for 20 writers!

tagged by the bestie @afaramir abby thank you so much for giving me an excuse to avoid writing tonight <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 45!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 492,078 and literally a solid quarter of that is from c&b oh i'm laughing.

3. What fandoms do you write for? right now only for les mis but most of my works are trc and in 2019/2020 i wrote a bit for soc and aftg.....

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? oh i'm laughing these aren't even GOOD.... 1. [redacted soc fic] 2. makes me feel a little bit closer to you - pynch clothes sharing fic 3. c&b (my most beloved this is the only valid entry on this list) 4. i ain't gotta tell him (i think he knows) - pynch ithk songfic 5. all the time, all the time (i think of you all the time) - pynch fic where ronan is tutoring adam in art

5. Do you respond to comments? mostly yes! for like a solid 2 years i didn't but now i do again <3

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? ummm i think the only actually angsty ending i have is all too well adansey fic? i'm such a happy ending girlie that's the only one i can think of that doesn't end happily. for obvious reasons.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? i like to think pretty much everything i write ends happily but c&b proposal fic is what comes to mind since i finally finished it THREE ENTIRE YEARS LATER very recently

8. Do you get hate on fics? no i have been very lucky so far actually!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? no because i am afraid

10. Do you write crossovers? i do not!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? not that i know of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? nope not yet!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? only the theoretical AUs that coco and i like to talk about but never commit to writing <3 although really you could consider coco my cowriter on most of my fics (especially c&b) like so much of them comes from her fr. love you coco <3333

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship? oh i can't pick. that's like asking a mother to pick her favorite child. right now those dead gay french revolutionaries have my heart but tomorrow, who knows?

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? ugh i hate admitting defeat but. but. i am aware that beloved beloved pynch band fic will probably never be finished. which is a SHAME because i have soooooooo much of it planned out i mean like. i've got full albums designed. most of the beats are mapped out. i've got fake tweets written up, i've got chapter titles and scene drafts. like the entire concept is there and i'm so obsessed with it. but i just. after all these years it is extremely unlikely that i am going to actually, you know. write it.

16. What are your writing strengths? beginnings. i am so good at beginnings. that's why i have so many wips. also i like to think i'm good at dialogue. i try to write conversationally even when it's not actually a conversation and i think that translates well to actual dialogue it's fun.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? endings. i can't end anything to save my LIFE. also just plots in general escape me. and i always end up writing 10k more words than i meant to.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? um other people who can do it definitely should! i however cannot do that. i did however use my extremely limited knowledge of the french language for the section headings in my most recent fic and i like the effect it produced i think.

19. First fandom you wrote for? all evidence of their existence has been wiped from the face of the earth but my very first fics were one star wars fic and one agents of shield fic circa like. 2015.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? legally i'm obligated to say c&b but right now actually i'm still very very happy with how exr rooftop fic turned out. literally the entire time i was writing it i was just having a blast. i love writing angst and stuff it's like chewing on a polly pocket toy. now that i'm evil i never wanna write fluff again. i'm torturing those fictional guys fr.

tagging besties @television-bodies @gingerpeachtea and anyone else who wants to do it! ♡

[askdobson]

Have you paid your taxes

The irs

Unless you can prove you are legitimately the IRS I have no legal obligation to share that information. Nice try.

...However, if you were the IRS, I just want you to know that I have in NO way committed any bit of tax evasion during my short time on this earth. Not in the slightest. I am a law abiding citizen and have NEVER ONCE considered such a HEINOUS act.

[fredbsmith]

Discovering My Father

A Memoir

My childhood memories contain no trace of my father.

He was present in my childhood only in the very earliest years, infancy years, before memories can form and stay with you.  He was away, in the Navy serving as a ship’s doctor in the Pacific during World War II while I was still in diapers.  He was never to return to us.  My mother learned of incidents of infidelity during his travels and banished him from the household forever.

Mama’s banishment decree created a vast separation between him and what remained of our nuclear family.  He was never to be spoken of at home, nor his existence acknowledged.   Mama remarried, after the divorce, a man 10 years younger than herself, and she arranged for my younger sister and me to be legally adopted by our new stepfather.  We took on his surname, and the order was given that we must now call him, and think of his as, our father. 

This radical restructuring of our family troubled me in the ensuing years.  My true father had had to sign off on the adoption papers, in return for which he was relieved of any child support obligations.  I found myself wishing he had refused, had angrily denounced this slashing of all bonds between us, we who were his flesh and blood!  Could I ever forgive him for that?

My stepfather came from the rural South; unlike my mother, he had received no education beyond high school; and he had always worked in blue-collar jobs.  He had been raised in a fundamentalist Christian family, and he saw the world in stark, black-and-white tones, full of wickedness and insolence, demanding draconian punishments.  He professed love for me at times, but even at my young age I could sense this was perfunctory, not genuine.  I remember more vividly how strongly he felt that I, a coddled Mama’s boy, was sorely in need of punishment, which he proceeded to administer liberally.  One of the cruelest punishments I received, a prolonged beating with a rubber hose, was for forgetting one of my assigned daily household chores.  I think he had interpreted my lapse in duties as an act of defiance of his commands; I look back on it, to this day, as a typical oversight committed by the absent-minded, day-dreamy sort of person that I have always been.

I was puzzled, as I grew older, by the obvious strength of the marriage bond between my mother and stepfather, and by the way she appeared to defer to him in so many family matters.  She was clearly more intelligent and more learned than he; she had a BA degree from the University of Chicago, after all, the sort of distinction which was quite a rarity among the residents of the small town in Western Colorado where we lived.  As the years went on, my stepfather proved a failure as a family breadwinner, and Mama then became our sole financial support.  I now wonder if Mama wasn’t doing a little bit of acting back then, taking on the role of subservient homemaker to make us appear more like one of the conventional nuclear families we were seeing on television.  I also wonder if she over-valued her marital relationship because, with the bitter memory of her first marriage, she knew my stepfather was not the sort of man who would ever betray her.

I am often troubled reflecting on Mama’s passive acceptance of the abuse I was receiving from my stepfather.  Did she really believe that the beatings, as well as his continual teasing and belittling of me, were in my best interest?  She had absorbed certain cultural attitudes of the American South from her own father, a Bavarian immigrant who had spent his first years in his adopted country there, learning American norms and customs in Slaughter, Louisiana.  Perhaps she really believed that boys needed to be physically beaten and verbally assaulted, to toughen them up, to grow up properly.  In any case, I never understood why this otherwise active, independent, outspoken woman, who seemed to have such a deep understanding of the world, never stood up for me.  Such thoughts created a barrier that prevented me from ever trying, as an adult, to develop and nurture the loving, open relationship with my mother that I would otherwise have wished for.

Throughout my teen years, I yearned for escape from the toxic environment I had at home.  Coming into young manhood, I was accepted at a prestigious college in the East, and I saw this as a kind of salvation, since I now had a practical excuse for minimizing my visits back to Colorado.  Thereafter, I maintained both a geographic and emotional distance from home, which initially brought me some degree of comfort.

As years went by, the distance sustained a sense of relief but not of happiness.  I was, in fact, quite a sad young man.  I came to learn that people who have been abused as children tend to develop the habit of self-blaming.  For some reason, it is easier to accept suffering as the predictable result of your own shortcomings, and therefore something theoretically you might be able to correct, than to acknowledge that you have been dealt a bad hand by the universe and that you are powerless to do anything about it.  In any case, I had become remarkably proficient at self-blame.  Feeling that all of the things that go wrong in the world around you are your own fault is a sure-fire recipe for perpetual sadness.

It took many years of life as a young adult, and processing of memories on a therapist’s couch, before I recognized that there was a step I could take which would help me to heal the wounds inflicted upon me in childhood.  It was to search out and find my father.  This seemed an important task in coming to terms with the reality of my situation and reducing the burden of exaggerated self-blame I had taken on.

I undertook the project during the years I was doing residency training, the beginning of the 1970’s, when I was in my late twenties.  I had little information about my father other than his somewhat unusual French-sounding surname, “Mafit,” the surname I bore through the first grade in school, and the fact that he had received medical training.  Assuming that he was still alive, was practicing medicine somewhere in the United States and that he would have become certified in some medical specialty, I was able to locate a promising candidate by searching the reference section of my medical school’s library.  There was an obstetrician-gynecologist in Roseburg, Oregon, named Mafit, whose dates of medical school graduation and of naval service seemed appropriate for my father.  I was interested to see that this Dr. Mafit had done his ob/gyne residency at Washington University in St. Louis in the years immediately following the end of the war.  That was the time period in which my adoption had been transacted.  If this was indeed my father’s record I was seeing, it meant that he would have made the decision to sign the adoption papers while employed, hundreds of miles from where his children were living, as a hospital resident, a position that in those days required literally residing within the hospital’s walls and being available to provide care to the hospital’s patients around the clock.   It would have provided little or no salary and he likely would not have been able to hire a lawyer.   This would not fully justify his willingness to give up his children, but it went part of the way as an explanation, providing a glimpse of how restricted he was in his ability to act and allowing me to imagine how painful it would have been to be a parent trapped by these circumstances.

I sent off a brief handwritten letter to this Dr. Mafit at his listed office address, saying that I believed him to be my father with whom I had lost touch many years back, and, if my supposition was correct, would he be interested in writing to me?  I received an immediate reply (“immediate” for the days of snail mail) saying that he was indeed my father, corroborated by the enclosure of an old photograph of him holding me as a baby.  He said that for years he had been hoping I would reach out to him, and he thanked me for doing so and praised the courage he thought it must have taken.  He understood the depth of Mama’s antipathy toward him and explained that that was the reason he had not taken the first step.  He anticipated I had been told many bad things about him growing up, which he hoped he would have the opportunity to counter.  (Actually, I had been told almost nothing about him; the worst I had been told was that he was a man who cared nothing for his children, which the reply letter itself seemed to disprove.)  He signed the letter, “your loving father, Ted.”

We wrote letters to each other periodically, he more faithfully and promptly than I, over the following years, the years of his life that remained, and we visited each other on both coasts once every year or so.  I learned much about him, although I was, of course, not seeing him from the perspective I would have had as a growing child.

He was a tall, tanned, white-haired man, who spoke slowly and softly and with a western drawl, which belied the enormous drive and energy that lay below the surface.  He had carried on a solo practice of ob/gyne in this small city for his entire professional career, which meant he could be called on 24/7, around the clock and around the calendar, to report to the hospital to perform a delivery or emergency surgery.

He was never inclined to take on a partner, or involve himself in a group practice typical of most of today’s ob/gynes.  I believe he was, in his heart, a committed loner.  He valued his independence; he was one of the original maverick practitioners in Oregon who made the national news when they resigned en masse from the state medical society after it started requiring regular continued medical education as a condition of membership.

He had a number of friends and professional contacts, with whom he had cordial but not close relationships.  I suspected he was a man who had difficulty with intimacy.  He married three more times after the breakup with my mother, each time to a successively younger woman.  He had three daughters with his second wife, my half-sisters, who are about half a generation younger than I.  They all had the experience of looking to him as a dad when little, and they told me that he had seemed distant to them in those years.

Ted's second wife, Melba.

It came up once in conversation that one of his teachers when he was in training was Dr. William Masters, who had later acquired national attention for his work, with Dr. Virginia Johnson, on human sexuality.  When I asked Ted what Masters was like, he remembered him as “a scrupulously honest man” and “a very dedicated researcher.”  He didn’t have much to say about the popular book and I was left with the impression that he didn’t do much sexual counseling in his ob/gyne practice.

In his early years of practice, he had traveled to New York to attend lectures at Cornell Medical School being given by Dr. George Papanicolaou, the originator of the screening test for cancer of the cervix of the uterus now known as the “Pap smear.”  Ted wanted to be able to offer this test to his patients, but many medical laboratories didn’t do it; there was a lot of skepticism in the medical community at the time, probably because Papanicolaou himself was a scientist who studied reproductive physiology in monkeys and not a medical doctor.  So Ted learned to do the test himself, and, after acquiring official certification, performed it in his office laboratory up until his retirement.

He incorporated elective abortions into his practice after the Roe v. Wade decision made them permissible.  He took referrals from the other ob/gyne specialist in Roseburg, who was a Roman Catholic and had personal religious objections to the procedure.  Ted himself professed no religion.  He did not believe in unlimited access to abortion, however.  Any woman who asked him to terminate her pregnancy first had to demonstrate that she had a reasonable plan for avoiding unplanned pregnancies in the future (he would, of course, assist her with this), and she was advised that he never performed a second abortion on the same patient.

He was passionate about his hobby of fly fishing, which he indulged in almost daily.  He had used much of the wealth generated from his practice to purchase an estate whose back lawn was bordered by the North Umpqua River, so that he could do fly-casting from his back yard. 

Ted was addicted to, but seemingly not impaired by, alcohol.  The addiction was integrated into another consuming hobby, winemaking and viticulture.  He purchased land for a vineyard adjacent to his home and acquired a second vineyard later, a few miles away.  When he retired from his practice, he became a professional vintner.  He drank a bottle of wine daily as a matter of course, and he believed it did not affect his ability to do a delivery or emergency operation when called on in his off-hours.  I realize this is a claim many would find implausible.  I certainly did not perceive any effect from his drinking when we dined together; he remained the quiet, reserved, dignified, soft-spoken man he always was.  His colleagues and support staff at the hospital, who had observed his performance over many years, appeared never to have suspected his alcohol use.  In his last days, after he was admitted to the hospital’s Coronary Care Unit with a coronary artery occlusion that was to prove fatal, he developed a seemingly bizarre neurological syndrome that mystified the hospital staff.  They discussed bringing in an outside neurological specialist to consult.  His daughter and wife had to quietly suggest that what they were witnessing was delirium tremens, and that it would disappear if he was given alcohol.  To make such a diagnosis on a respected senior member of their medical staff would never have occurred to them.

In addition to the character-defining traits I’ve just outlined, I also learned some things about my father that must, I suppose, be considered trivia, but which I’ve always found endearing:

He was spectacularly good-looking in pictures from his youth, with his dark hair and moustache making him resemble Douglas Fairbanks or Ronald Coleman.  Many NY friends to whom I introduced him on his visits here commented on how dashing he was.

His full name was Trowbridge Rudolph Mafit.  The Mafits seemed to have a penchant for giving their offspring colorful names.  My paternal grandmother’s first name was Theil, and she had had two sisters whose names were Leith and Devere.  My three half-sisters were named after them, Andrea Leith, Leslie Theil, and Dana Devere.

Ted had become famous among members of the fly-fishing community for the flies that he designed and crafted himself.  One such hand-tied fly was the subject of a feature article in Field and Stream, and it was later marketed commercially as the “Doc’s Fly.”

He also acquired fame among Oregon winemakers.  The local county museum to this day has on display a bottle of white pinot noir that he produced sometime in the 1970s, believed to be the first of this variety to originate in Oregon.

Ted owned 23 cats at the time of my first Oregon visit, three Siamese inhabiting the house, the remainder domestic short-hairs roaming about his estate.  They all had names.  He joked that he was emulating, and hoping to surpass, Ernest Hemingway in their number.

It was during his final days that my father and I once again became separated.  I actually did not realize it was happening at all, at the time, that he had begun the process of dying.  He wrote me two letters describing the coronary events that he had experienced.  He somehow managed to use descriptive medical language to minimize the seriousness of his condition; he made it seem as if he would be back on his feet, working his vineyards any day now.  I fell for it, and decided I would not plan my next visit to Oregon until he had recovered.

It came as a shock when I was notified that he had died.  I flew to Roseburg to attend the funeral.  My heart broke when I saw photographs of him in the days before he died, the days when he was writing me the cheery letters; he was gaunt, disheveled, in distress, and obviously a seriously ill man in those photos.  I re-read the letters and slowly began to appreciate his artful use of the medical language to alleviate my concern.  There was only one unequivocal deception on his part; he claimed in his letters that he was being told he was not a candidate for coronary artery bypass surgery.  My sisters and his wife, who witnessed the events in real time, let me know that the opposite was the case.  His doctors repeatedly implored him to consent to surgery, and, each time, he adamantly refused.

I’ve concluded that he simply wanted to die alone, and with as little revelatory conversation as possible.  He did not want me to come to say good-bye to him in person.  It would have been too painful for him.  The exposure of his alcoholism on his death bed must have been mortifying to him; he just wanted to slip away quietly.

This seemed to encapsulate the sort of man he was, a man to whom peace and preservation of his dignity was all important.  He was not a street fighter like Mama.  He could never have taken her on in a brawl. 

To return to my original question, the issue of forgiving him for abandoning his parental rights at the time of the divorce now seems irrelevant.  What I had earlier yearned for from him was simply not in him to give.  And I am at peace with that now.

[thosearentcrimes]

In the 1970s and 80s there was a chain of electronics stores in the New York media market that became quite famous for its over-the-top commercials. They hadn't invented that style of ad (which, as far as I can tell, rose and fell with the independent or small chain retail market), consisting of a very excited "insane" guy with a catchphrase about prices (His Prices Are INSAAAAANE!), but they flooded the Tri-State area airwaves with it.

I'm not really talking about this company because of their advertising, except in the sense that I am familiar with this company because my father told me the story of the ads once, while mentioning that he got some suspiciously cheap but good electronics there. You see, Crazy Eddie, named after primary ringleader Eddie Antar, was also a criminal enterprise and a fraud. According to one of the participants, Sam E. "Sammy" Antar, whose detailed and presumably highly misleading account of the case is available on his amazingly-named website White Collar Fraud, it had always been engaging in fraudulent accounting.

From its humble beginnings as a private company, profits were skimmed and employees were paid under the table, allowing the Antar family to, ah, manage their tax obligations. My understanding is that neither of these practices is or was particularly uncommon in the world of brick-and-mortar retail.

Now, as Crazy Eddie expanded, it became less and less reasonable to engage in petty fraud at that scale. What they had to do next was stop committing tax fraud. Not only would that allow them to avoid getting caught doing tax fraud, by progressively skimming less of the profit they would be able to appear to achieve an impressive rate of growth. This was all in preparation for the smart bit of the scheme, going public.

This is how it works. Stocks trade speculatively at a significant multiple of earnings. This means that if you control and own most of a company, if you can dump your own money into your company and then sell a significant amount of your stock, you can still easily come out well ahead. Soon, the Antars were painstakingly laundering money they had sucked out of Crazy Eddie while it was privately held back into the company past the not particularly vigilant auditors in order to look good to the financial markets.

Eventually the scheme started falling apart socially and financially, and the company suffered a hostile takeover from a competitor who subsequently found that there was $40 million less inventory than advertised. Caveat Emptor, I guess. Eddie Antar tried to flee to Israel but was extradited, upon later getting out of prison he tried to start another electronics retailer called Crazy Eddie, which surprisingly didn't work. Sammy Antar turned state's evidence and is now a fed-lite.

Why am I saying all this, why am I pointing out this particular case? Well, obviously it's because I think there are a lot of modern-day Antars running around making a lot of money, and presumably a lot of their CFOs are also going to flip and reinvent themselves as forensic auditors once they get caught. I assume most startups are somewhat more legal than anything Crazy Eddie did, but many of the market principles remain the same. In fact, corporate lawyers have developed more and more ways to do the same things the Antars did legitimately.

It is ironic that stealing from their own company was worthwhile for the Antars so long as the company was a serious business for them, albeit one that they were operating in a criminal manner, while pumping money into their company was only the correct thing to do once they were divesting themselves of ownership. Obviously this is just how tax evasion and pump and dumps work, but I find it contrasts interestingly with the capitalist dogma that ownership makes for better stewards of the property, still used as the primary political argument for privatization even though capitalist firms are also run managerially.

Ultimately, my takeaway is that the Antars were basically your regular shady retail guys, until they spotted an opportunity to get in on the ground floor of Shareholder Value Maximization. My other takeaway is if you get something cheap because someone is fucking the shareholders, mind your own business probably.

[keyboardsmashorsomething]

@templeofvengeance

First, just to get this out of the way, this is all purely hypothetical. Any bingos or almost-bingos that I happen to get or don’t get do not constitute any kind of further obligation to any parties involved. The act of filling this out does not automatically imply interest in any job opportunities that may or may not be open. Okay? Good. Now that that’s out of the way, here’s my bingo sheet.

Detailed breakdown of all the squares (because I’m nothing if not thorough) under the cut.

Prior combat experience: I took a couple of weeks of archery lessons. I’m a terrible shot, but I guess I technically know how to use a weapon. The “technically” in that sentence is carrying a lot of weight.

Willing to commit murder: Never know until you try, right? First time for everything? (For legal reasons this is a joke)

Swear to protect the travelers of the night: Yeah. That’s an important job.

~*Dramatic*~: I’m like the least dramatic person ever. Also, what are the asterisks and tildes for?

Will follow orders: Look, blame my PDA profile or whatever it’s called. Not me.

Trauma: No idea what counts as trauma. Honestly, probably. My therapist says I have most of the signs of childhood trauma. But I remain convinced that because I wasn’t almost eaten by lions or something that I can’t have trauma.

Speaks multiple languages: I took two years of Spanish in high school? That I forgot most of? Yeah, that probably doesn’t count.

No prior religion/would pray to an Egyptian god anyway: I grew up atheist. No idea what I am now, but not someone who cares a whole lot about hard restrictions.

Willing to look crazy in public: Brother, I do this part all on my own, without your help or any god really. (I have so many stories) (No, you don’t need to hear them)

ANGRY: Anger is best emotion <3

Likes the moon: Moon = cool.

Vigilante vibes: What does that even mean?

Few family or friends: No friends. Plenty of family members, but no one I care a lot about I guess. I don’t know how you’re supposed to feel about your family.

Had an Ancient Egypt phase: Who didn’t?

Dislike of other gods: Nope, sorry. Hephaestus they could never make me hate you.

Likes alcohol: Smells terrible. Plus, I don’t need my brain more messed up than it already is.

Likes to travel: No. (I don’t like staying home either, but that’s entirely beside the point)

Knows how to make offerings/willing to learn: During my religious crisis (which is probably ongoing and I’m just repressing it) I dabbled in paganism for a bit. Didn’t stick, but I remember how to do offerings.

Believes in revenge: Very much so.

Belief in ghosts/supernatural: I won’t say I’m a hardcore believer, but I’m fairly open-minded

Talkative: Nope. Like, at all.

Loyal: I’m honestly not sure what loyalty encompasses. And I really don’t like most definitions I’ve heard of it.

Calls him by his PROPER NAME: I mean, usually. But freedom of speech is important too. This is my PDA profile leaking through again, isn’t it?

[gumy-shark]

DUDE WTF THERE'S SO MANY

what can i say i love the sneef

[butterflydm]

wot reread: towers of midnight (chapter 8-13)

spoilers for towers of midnight

1. Hmm, we open this Mat chapter with him pondering over the (still-sealed) letter that Verin left him and admiring the beauty of the female tavernkeeper (quickly slapping a “but I’m married” bandaid over his admiration). Strike two.

2. I genuinely am very curious about what notes might have been left behind about Mat (and Mat’s marriage) because... from Sanderson’s other writing, this doesn’t feel like an idea he would have necessarily come up with on his own? He admits that he’s a bit of a prude and his main go-to ‘romance’ route in his own books is “wow this arranged marriage is working out surprisingly well!”. So I’m really curious if post-marriage horndog!Mat was noted somewhere in the stuff Jordan left behind. And I’m keeping track of the moments because I want to see how much of a pattern it ends up being over the course of the ~post-marriage~ books.

I am also going to keep track of whether or not Mat notes any specific qualities about ~absent wifey~ that he likes and, if he does, if those qualities are things that we’ve witnessed her actually showing at any point.

3. Also, just to note: while Mat is trying to remind himself that he’s married, his ~wife~ is engaging in hostile combat actions against his friends, and will be enslaving forty Aes Sedai and killing an additional unknown number of Aes Sedai, Warders, and people who live and work in Tar Valon. But, you know, it’s her empire that’s his enemy, not her.

(that line really is... the sad thing is that line is actually great out of context but, wow, it makes absolutely ZERO sense in terms of Mat’s actual relationship with ~Fortuona~. It’s such a bonkers delusional line for Mat to have said at any point during their relationship as it exists in the books. It really does feel like Jordan thought up that line first and then never got around to actually writing a relationship that could live up to its sentiment but jammed it in anyway because he couldn’t let it go even though it didn’t fit with the relationship as-written. But leaving it in really makes Mat come across as extremely reality-denying in terms of his relationship. And, hey, maybe that was what Jordan was going for, idk)

4. Verin is betting here that Mat’s curiosity is stronger than his desire to stay away from Aes Sedai plans, but she doesn’t know that the narrative has spent the last few books beating his curiosity and critical thinking out of him and turning his irrational dislike of Aes Sedai up to bizarrely high levels so that he’s willing to make out with a slaver. Verin should have just ALSO shared the info in the letter with Egwene when she was with her, but it was Verin’s turn to hold the Idiot Ball of Making The Plot Happen, so she did not (honestly, either Mat reading the letter or Verin telling Egwene the contents of the letter would also have saved us a bunch of time in the story).

5. More of weird fey creature Mat here, who acts like he is bound by his Oaths in a bizarre metaphysical way, instead of him just reluctantly keeping his word because he’s a good man. Like... you haven’t sworn on the Oath Rod, Mat. If whatever Verin is telling you to do actually goes against your morals just... break your word. You were willing to do it when it came to the Seanchan Oaths, because an oath under duress is not binding, and you seemed to be aware of that back during WH. The whole “you must follow your oaths to the letter even if they lead you into immoral acts” belief is NOT honorable. But this ties back into the way that Jordan had Mat acting with Tuon in CoT & KoD -- the logic of going “because she’s ~my wife~ (by Seanchan law), I am ~legally/morally obligated~ to support and protect her, no matter what evil deeds she may choose to commit and no matter how much she might be hurting other people”.

So now keeping his promises is about Mat operating by Fey Rules of Literally Obeying His Word, rather than keeping his promises because he’s a good person despite his protests. Because a good man wouldn’t support and protect a slaver, so Jordan had to throw away the part of Mat that was a good man in order for Mat x Tuon to ‘work’. But then (this ties back to horndog!Mat), it also leads to it feeling like Mat doesn’t cheat on Tuon right now only because it might break his Mystical Fey Creature Oaths rather than him actually feeling any personal inclination towards being a faithful husband.

6. At the start of this chapter, Mat thought to himself that he wouldn’t give Melli his ~best smile~ on account of him being a married man and... well, guess what he does only two pages later? Yep, gives her his best smile that he personally believes melts women’s hearts. Two pages! Also, he thinks that he’s Not Allowed to stare at her lips (because he’s married) even as he’s calculating the precise fullness of said lips that he’s Definitely Not staring at, lol.

7. Mat notices a pretty serving girl and tips her a coin for her smile. For, um. For Thom’s sake. lol. Strike three. Technically, Mat is already out, but I will continue to count strikes.

8. lol, the bouncer at the tavern, Berg, is as dubious about Mat’s future faithfulness to ~his slaver wife~ as I am. Berg gives Mat a suspicious look despite that fact that Mat. This is hilarious. Mat SAT HIM DOWN and talked to him about how he wouldn’t be wooing away the woman that Berg is in a relationship with because Mat is MARRIED NOW. lol, no wonder the man is so suspicious of him! That just sends so many alarm bells ringing. Portrait of a Man In Denial over how unhappy he is about being married.

9. Strike four, Mat notices the golden hair, nice eyes, and full bosom of one of the women he’s gambling with at the next tavern, and tries to convince himself that he doesn’t actually find full breasts incredibly attractive anymore (he noticed Melli’s “ample bosom” only a handful of pages ago so... um, yeah, that’s a boldfaced lie to himself. Sanderson might mention breasts less often than Jordan does but when he does mention them, it’s been in Mat PoV so far). We’re several pages into Mat’s PoV at this point and we’ve mostly focused on him doing his best to pretend he feels no regret over being married and Not Being Allowed to notice all the women that he’s noticing for, um, Talmanes and Thom. He also tries to give his fellow gambler one of his heart-fluttering smiles (that he said at the start of the chapter he wouldn’t give out anymore on account of being ~a married man~) and tries to pretend that he isn’t disappointed when she doesn’t react.

10. Anyway, the plot important thing that happens here is that Mat finds out that the gholam is in Caemlyn (people found with their throats ripped out). That finally draws him out of his depressed-over-being-married funk.

11. We learn that he’s sent a letter to Elayne and gotten no reply and he’s actually QUITE worked up over it, and over the fact that Elayne has never so much as kissed him on the cheek to thank him for saving her life. And it’s an interesting change that his internal objection here doesn’t end up being “but of course I wouldn’t want Elayne to kiss me because I’m a married man” but is instead “I don’t want royalty to kiss me” which sends him down a spiral of thinking about how he’s trapped into the Seanchan nobility now. Hmm. Interesting. Anyway, that’s strike five.

12. Mat does bring up three positive qualities of Tuon here (that aren’t related to whether or not he’s capable of being attracted to her: as we’ve just been witnessing, Mat is capable of being attracted to the majority of female characters in the books, so physical attraction is fairly irrelevant here):

a. good at stones: verified true

b. keen of wit: no textual evidence that this is true

c. ‘good for talking to’: negative textual evidence that this is true; most of Mat’s conversations with her in CoT & KoD seemed to end up in frustration or unpleasantness (he even mentions here that she’s frustrating ‘most of the time’), with him thinking on at least one occasion late in KoD about how he hates that she treats him like he’s her property

So... we’re at 33% Verified True on Mat’s accuracy scale of Tuon’s Good Qualities, 33% Just Lying To Himself, and 33% is a question mark.

(though I would argue Tuon’s lack of insight or critical thinking in her own PoV chapters argues against her being ~keen of wit~, unless Mat just means she’s good at puns or something, which is also not in evidence. I suspect this is more of an Informed Attribute, where the author(s) hope that just repeating over and over that Tuon has a keen wit will make people believe she does even if she never does anything to prove it).

13. Mat feels guilt over leaving Tylin tied up for the gholam to kill back in Ebou Dar. Tylin’s relationship to Mat really does feel like it’s married so tightly to Tuon’s relationship with Mat, a transfer of ~ownership~ in a horrible gross way. Tylin’s abuse of Mat is what kept him in the situation he was in when he met Tuon, and Tylin’s abuse of Mat really does feel like it foreshadows the way that Tuon treats Mat as well, which is definitely a Bad Omen for his future.

14. Awww, for all that Mat was negatively thinking about royalty earlier, he thinks here about how the right Queen is now on the throne of Andor (with the emphasis Mat’s!).

15. Strike six. Mat sees a stately older woman in the inn where Thom is performing and thinks about how he’ll keep her in mind for later. Hastily adding ~for his men~ onto his thoughts. He tells Thom about the gholam and they leave for Mat’s camp.

16. Mat thinks with frustration about how Bayle Doman and Leilwin née Egeanin no longer have any affection for him (it’s because you’re married to a slaver and they have rejected the empire; hope this helps). We also get a reminder about the holes in his memory (foggy patches from when he picked up the dagger in Shadar Logoth until when he was healed of it in TDR).

17. Mat comes across as pretty desperate for validation & affection here (specifically from people that he already knows and respects). That’s really standing out to me -- he thought about it a lot in the last book too, about how much he wanted Joline, Teslyn, & Edesina to be grateful to him for saving their lives. He thinks the same here about Elayne, and about Doman and Leilwin née Egeanin. And he doesn’t want to think about how his own actions (being abrasive towards Elayne & co; picking the slavers over the slaves) might have made people turn away from him or think less of him. Save someone once, and it shouldn’t matter how you behave in the future, right? (wrong) It’s also interesting how the clear loyalty of his soldiers doesn’t scratch that itch for him at all. Maybe because he attributes that to the memories in his head and his luck rather than himself as a person?

18. When Mat claims to Thom that he’s a good judge of character, he gets a very doubtful raised eyebrow back. Thom’s relationship with Mat in the last few books has been... honestly, somewhat weird. I almost wonder... we haven’t gotten any Thom PoV for quite a long time, I don’t think, so I wonder if Thom is just masking his actual feelings about Mat because he knows that he needs Mat in order to rescue Moiraine. Because, for the most part, Thom has just avoided Having Opinions about the mess that is Mat’s life and choices, despite the fact that Thom is (supposedly) fond enough of an Aes Sedai that he’s desperate to rescue her from captivity, and also deeply fond of Elayne and friends with Juilin. Is Thom playing Mat the way that Mat was playing the Tairen nobles at the start of TSR? Letting himself appear to be a non-critical buddy because there’s something that he wants out of Mat? I will have to keep an eye out to see if Thom shows any affection towards/inclination to hang out with Mat AFTER Moiraine gets rescued and he doesn’t need Mat anymore. Thom is, after all, one of the best players of Daes Dae’mar in the series, we are told.

19. Mat talks to Teslyn here, internally noting that she has lost most of the “nervous skittishness” that she’d picked up when she was enslaved as damane. He likes Teslyn, he thinks, but he does not trust her. Despite Teslyn never doing a single thing to breach his trust, unlike SOME people that I could name. Ah! There are rumors in Caemlyn about the Seanchan assult on the White Tower but (just like he dismissed Tuon’s threats back in CoT/KoD), Mat has dismissed those rumors as just “stories of raken drifting up from the south” (I wonder if I should be keeping track of all of the “Mat Forces Himself Into Willful Denial Over Tuon/the Seanchan’s Evil Choices” moments). Teslyn and the others are planning to leave now to go join the reunited White Tower (which is what most of the rumors talk about).

20. Hmm, Teslyn thanks Mat here for helping her escape the Seanchan but then she talks with him about the importance of maintaining “illusions with yourself”. I actually did wonder, when I was doing my reread of CoT & KoD, if Teslyn’s patience with Mat, even when he was being a complete asshole, was due to her seeing how much he was lying to himself to try to make himself accept his fate. I think I may have been right on that. And she gives him an escape route, if he looks for it in the future -- that if he ever decides to seek out the White Tower, he has a friend there willing to help him. Considering that she knows that he’s married to a slaver (one who actively tried to re-enslave her personally), that is a HUGE offer. A way out of his trap with the Seanchan -- protection at the White Tower. And Mat, who has been desperate for validation since the start of TGS is now “feeling as unsettled as if someone had kicked his legs out from under him”. Teslyn has also, in this one conversation, shown him more kindness than Tuon has shown in their entire relationship. So... Mat has at least one place to run to now, if he runs away from ~Fortuona~ post-canon. Teslyn has seen the worst of him and extends him this offer anyway, so he knows that she won’t turn him away if he comes to her for help. This conversation is SO good. Mat is thrown so off-balance by Teslyn’s kindness and genuine care for him.

21. *sigh* I really wish that Mat were caring more about Nalesean and the Redarms being murdered by the gholam than about Tylin’s murder. I do understand why -- because Mat feels responsible for her death in a way that he doesn’t for Nalesean’s -- but... ugh, kinda sucks that his guilt over Tylin’s death is now the biggest part of how he feels about Tylin, given how much misery and pain she caused Mat when she was alive. Not necessarily... incorrect, in terms of how people’s brains can work in this sort of situation, but it does suck. Anyway, Mat is now the prime object of the gholam’s attention, having been sent to personally murder him (likely by Moridin, I would assume?). Teslyn saves his life during this fight btw, using the Power to pull him back before the gholam can kill him (she can do this because he took his medallion off to fight it). Five people were successfully killed by the gholam in this attack before it runs away (it has been ordered to try to avoid too much attention).

23. Oddly, Tuon is one of the people that the gholam threatens to kill. Honestly, I feel like it would have been smarter for the Shadow to court the Seanchan/Tuon instead of going against them, since ~Fortuona~ is already so hostile to Aes Sedai. But the Shadow cannot always make smart moves, I guess. The gholam doesn’t threaten to kill Olver but does threaten Tuon, Thom, and Noal. Given that it apparently got its information from a Redarm that it killed a few days ago or from observing Mat’s camp, you’d think that Olver would be on the list either way (and it really makes no sense that Tuon would be on the list? She hasn’t been traveling with Mat for at least a month at this point).

I suspect that the general reader is supposed to care that Tuon is under risk of assassination? But it’s baffling to me as to WHY I should care when she literally JUST had her people assault the White Tower, kidnapping and enslaving forty women and most likely also killing more people than that in total. The narrative has never given me a good reason why I should care about whether or not Tuon gets assassinated besides “vague marriage prophecy bs”. The narrative has never shown that Tuon is actually a better candidate for empress for the Westlands Seanchan than some other random High Blood would be, as long as they aren’t a Darkfriend like Suroth; it just wants us to assume that she is. Her behavior has been just as horrible as any other High Blood’s. Why should I believe she’s a better choice as empress than the next High Blood down in rank? We have never been given a reason.

Now, if Tuon had had even a single ounce of positive character development during the circus storyline, then this would be an entirely different ballgame! But she not only didn’t, she has actively doubled-down on her fear and hatred of ‘marath’damane’.

So, yeah... why on earth should I be invested in Mat wanting to save her life? The narrative never gives me a reason to believe she’s capable of becoming a worthy leader of people. She’s petty, arrogant, and cruel. Basically, a younger version of Elaida with even more power and less self-awareness than Elaida ever had.

24. Note that I do not consider Mat acknowledging Joline as pretty to be a strike against his marriage because it’s not him noticing with any kind of intent that he then tries to pretend doesn’t exist -- he genuinely does not find her an appealing temptation at this point, due to their personal history (though said negative history is pretty much entirely Mat’s fault #JolineDeservedBetter).

25. Ah, Perrin and the others have arrived by the statue that Rand told Nynaeve about back in TGS, so I’m guessing that Tam will be leaving soon to go get nearly killed by his son. Anyway, Perrin and Galad meet here face to face and agree to have their armies fight each other. So... that’s going... well?

26. ELAYNE! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

27. Trying to figure out a way to get the Andoran nobles to actually unite before the Last Battle rather than squabbling for power, Elayne decides that it’s time to claim the Sun Throne. Hmm, I do feel like Sanderson’s more casual style of narration is more pronounced here with Elayne than it’s been with the other characters. All off a sudden, it just feels like the narration is in a hurry, almost more like an outline than prose.

28. Ah, we learn that the reason that Elayne never responded to Mat’s first letter is that she never received it. Her secretary, Master Norry, dismissed Mat as just another leader of a mercenary band, which is why he was granted a space outside the city but no audience with Elayne. He does give her Mat’s second letter, telling her that the captain of this mercenary band is being particularly persistent. Elayne is keeping all these mercenary bands around because they will likely be needed for the Last Battle because, unlike Perrin, SHE isn’t a FOOL.

29. Reading the letter (which does have a lot of misspellings, etc in it, but Mat also mentions that he was planning on rewriting it to be pretty if Thom would have stopped laughing at him) gives Elayne ALL the emotions as she realizes that Mat and Thom (and maybe Olver) are alive and have escaped from Ebou Dar. Mat mentions here that he thinks Elayne’s ass is pretty but also that he barely looked because he knows that she would have kicked his ass and also he’s married w/e, which I feel like should count as strike seven even though it’s Elayne again, because Mat has an emotional attachment to Elayne that he doesn’t have to the more random women that he’s Noticing all over the place, but I’ll only count it as an additional tenth of the point and say he’s at strike six-point-one. Birgitte, upon reading the letter, mentions that Mat also has a nice ass, so I guess she was Looking in Ebou Dar.

Confirmed nice butts:

Elayne & Mat (here in ToM)

Aviendha & Rand (in TFoH)

Probably Min too, I guess

Mat being so worked up over Elayne not responding to his first letter actually makes me wonder if he deliberately put in things into this second letter to try to make her react, if only to fuss at him or tell him off -- telling her she has a nice ass, telling her that he’s married. Because he assumes that she did read his first letter and actively chose not to meet with him.

30. Elayne tells Norry to arrange a meeting with Mat immediately and to tell him to make sure to bring Thom as well. She also begins to think about how Mat and the Band could potentially be useful for bringing Cairhien to her. We get some more insight into her reasoning here as well -- after Rand dies, Andor is one of the biggest potential targets for the Seanchan empire to the south, and they cannot afford for it to merely be part of ~the Dragon’s Empire~ that will potentially fall into chaos after his death. She needs to do strong nation-building NOW, before the Last Battle, to try to make sure it will survive after the Last Battle. “The woman in her cringed to think of planning for Rand’s death, but the Queen could not be so squeamish.” She notes that, as far away from Rand as she currently is, all she ever feels from him these days is a cold anger. Don’t worry, Elayne. Min was literally right there with him and that’s all she ever seemed to be able to sense too.

But this is actually very similar to how Rand wanted to make sure that Arad Doman chose its own king to avoid falling into chaos after his death in the Last Battle, so Elayne and Rand manage to be on the same wavelength even if they are still cruelly separated by the narrative. This is one of the things that @markantonys and I strongly agree on: that a big part of the reason Elayne and Rand are separated for so long is because Elayne is the one person who could have helped Rand with his rulership struggles as an trained leader who understands the issues and understands that you NEED to be ruthless sometimes (but also understands when not to be ruthless).

31. With Elayne, we were still pre-epiphany but when we jump to Min’s PoV, it is decidedly post, as she can feel warmth in the bond and not just Rand’s cold anger.

32. “Alanna didn’t often reveal her intimate connection to the Dragon Reborn.” lol, except for all the Wise Ones, in order to wiggle out of punishments. And all the Aes Sedai, to try to establish precedence. Except for that. Anyway, she’s disappeared from her rooms in the Stone of Tear.

33. When Cadsuane and Min point out that Cadsuane cares that Alanna is missing because she’s a ~tool~ to use on Rand, Nynaeve says that Alanna is “no more helpful” to Cadsuane than Min. So... she tells Cadsuane everything and obeys her frequently? Why is the narrative trying to pretend that Min isn’t constantly helping out Cadsuane? It literally just happened again at the end of TGS! She’s been obediently telling all her viewings to Cadsuane for her to dissect! Nynaeve was IN THE ROOM when this was happening! Or is this meant to reflect Nynaeve’s own distorted view of Min?

34. oh, lol, when Min reacts to Rand arriving in the bond, her Maiden ‘guards’ promptly abandon her and race off to find Rand. So, I guess the Min-Maiden relationship is still... not great, lol.

35. Rand shows up and I really dislike that all of this new!Rand is filtered through outside PoVs. It makes it hard for me to emotionally relate with zen!Rand because I can’t see his interior world. This is also a place where the timeline fuzziness kinda hits the worst, because we’re going right from cold!Rand in Elayne’s bond to warm!Rand in Min’s bond. Moving Rand’s epiphany further back in this set of books would help with that. Min actually panics for a moment, upon seeing Rand, because his eyes look older and he doesn’t seem familiar. “Had the Rand she loved been stolen away, replaced by some ancient force of a man she could never know or understand?” Hmm.

And then he smiles and she does recognize him -- responding to her panic in the bond, maybe?

36. I will, uh, note that Rand did not go directly to Min when he arrived in Tear. Just gonna quietly note that down. He waited for her to find him.

37. He talks to Rhuarc (and the assembled Aiel, including the Maidens) and tells them that he knows that he has toh to them and that he is prepared to meet it. And Rand finally seems to have his relationship with the Maidens back (with Min still baffled at the interactions between Rand and the Aiel).

38. It actually seems clear here (even filtered through Min) that Rand is still somewhat of a boiling pot, though the wound has been lanced. But now he really FEELS the pain over Lan heading towards Tarwin’s Gap, when before he was able to numb most of his emotions through the general ice-cold/molten-hot anger that he was constantly repressing with the flame & void. Now he’s feeling again and that can be... difficult. But he’s still rush-rush-rush and talking about potentially dying soon. So it’s clear that there’s complicated stuff going on in his head and we are TRAPPED in Min’s PoV and only get hints of it second-hand through the bond! But he does promise Nynaeve that he will send Lan help.

39. Rand gives Min the mission to find out why Callandor is key to the prophecies. lol, sure, whatever. I guess we have to give Min ~something important~ to do because she doesn’t actually have a plot purpose and hasn’t had one in quite a long while. Hey, if it means she’s actually doing something and not just surgically-attaching herself to Rand at all times, then I guess it’s worth it.

40. Anyway, Rand tells Cadsuane that she succeeded by failing, lol.

41. Min bashing on the nobles for not having a purpose when she only has a job because her boyfriend gave her one, lol.

42. Anyway, Rand lines up the nobles and susses out that Weiramon and Anaiyella are Darkfriends. If I recall correctly, I’d guessed on Weiramon back during my initial read of TPoD (way back when it was first published) so it was very vindicating for me when he was finally called out as a DF lol. I remember feeling vindicated, anyway, lol. Anaiyella was one I could have gone either way on, but it makes sense for Weiramon to have an accomplice. I... don’t mind Rand’s Darkfriend-vision because, yeah, let’s move the plot along, lol. I just, again, wish that it had been pushed towards the end of this book instead. But the talent itself kinda goes along with the other stuff Rand has been saying about how he’s a bright beacon for the Shadow now and cannot avoid TDO’s eyes.

Instead of killing Weiramon and Anaiyella, he sends them off to bring a message to the Shadow that they will no longer be able to hide among his allies.

43. There’s a great moment with Rand and his dad, though I kinda roll my eyes at Min needing a ~very special~ formal introduction to Tam (who she already knows at this point because he’s been hanging around Tear for three days).

Ah, well. If I do my best to ignore Min, lol, I really liked that scene.

I really do wish that we’d had even a tiny bit of Rand PoV, though. It’s very frustrating only seeing him through other people’s eyes.

I feel like this has gotten long enough (I spent... a lot of time talking about Mat, as I’d suspected that I might, lol) so I will end this post here.

[partialbirthabortion]

I think I’ve seen you talk abt this before, so sorry if I’m asking you to repeat yourself. I’m taking a Disability Rights class right now, and we’re discussing Box v Planned Parenthood and the morality of disability-selective abortion. My professor refers to this as a eugenics issue, and I’m uncomfortable w that bc it feels to me like he’s ignoring abortion as its own issue and right. Idk do you have thoughts on this? I just feel like he’s making abortion a battleground for a separate issue.

Ah, there's always some reason to deny a woman an abortion, isn't there? You can have one, sure, but not if the fetus is too big, and not if it's female, and not if it has down syndrome or a minor physical disability or a major physical disability, and not if the clinic's hallways are too small or your doctor doesn't have admitting privileges to the local catholic hospital or you're a teenager and your mom hasn't given her consent. I feel similarly about restrictions on ability-selective abortions (is that a term?) as I do those on sex-selective abortions: they shouldn't exist and anyone who thinks they should is a misogynist. There is no MORAL way to require that a woman stays pregnant against her consent. Women cannot commit eugenics within their own bodies; women's bodies are not the location of political progress, certainly not against their own wills.

Now, I have heard many arguments about why a woman should be entitled to withdraw consent to residence within her body from a disabled ZEF due to circumstances not the fault of the woman in question (that it is not individual women's faults that they will lack the financial and social support needed to raise a disabled child, for instance) but I am frankly tired of making arguments that quietly allow nonconsensually obligating a woman to pregnancy and birth as an acceptable background reality. That is literally always the single most horrifying aspect of any argued abortion restriction, regardless of what population that restriction supposedly protects. However, I am also very practical in general, so, a though exercise:

If ability-selective abortion (I made it a term) is a eugenics issue, then this is not just a conversation about morality, it's a conversation about legal discrimination, and if we agree that it is a eugenics issue then we must agree that something must be done legally to restrain women from literally committing eugenics. How would your professor choose to structure a law to achieve this? How would this law discern between women who wanted an abortion due to a disability diagnosis, and women who wanted an abortion incidental to a disability diagnosis? What about women who could have gone either way before the diagnosis tipped the scale? What about disabilities that are Incompatible with Life diagnoses, or convey an extremely shortened and painful lifespan? What would he do if conservative states cottoned on and started requiring that all women considering abortion must receive a full work-up and wait until the 20 week anatomy scan so that disabled fetus could then be identified and protected from their cruel mothers?

Here's another: if refusing to grow and birth a disabled child is immoral, why isn't refusing to conceive a disabled child with a disabled man? Eugenics encompasses a huge range of behaviors meant to decrease the heritability of "undesirable" traits, and surely if individual women terminating pregnancies is eugenics, then individual women refusing to have sex with disabled men (god help her if, raised in an ableist society, she does actually think disabled people are kind of gross) is as well. It's no secret that disabled people often have more challenging romantic lives and I'm sure this indirectly limits the proliferation of many disabilities on its own; it is probably fine to assign women to sleep with disabled men to ensure that all genes get a fair shot.

You may think I am being a bit flip and cruel. I'm sure you are an extremely kind and thoughtful person who probably feels a little grody about the choice to abort a child because its physiology would be too burdensome (I do too) even though it sounds like you also have a strong conviction about the right to abortion (same here!). Let's take away the aether of theory.

Several months into my job as an abortion educator and more than a year ago at this point, I had a patient to educate. I remember her name, but I'll call her D. D was an extremely kind woman slightly older than my usual patient population with three children and one prior aborted pregnancy in her teens. She presented to me several months pregnant, at around 19 weeks. I did not ask why she was choosing abortion, but, like a lot of my patients, she told me anyway. She was a single mother and money was tight, her youngest was in middle school and she didn't want to start all over, she found out late and was a smoker, and she'd had a bad breakup with the father of the pregnancy. Oh, and she had seen her OB and found out it was a boy and she'd always wanted a daughter but DEFINITELY didn't want a fourth son. Uh oh. Who's to say whether D would have actually wanted to birth and parent a fantasized female fetus, what with her income and her health and her other children's ages and the father being a douche (I hear all the time, oh, I would have, but it's not the right time), but sex-selective abortion is illegal in the state of Illinois. I carefully investigated. Are you sure you would have kept a daughter? Even with everything else? She was adamant- yes, but it is what it is. Whoops. I consulted the MD; too risky to let it slide, what if she was an auditor or a pro-lifer? The penalty is liability for wrongful death. D was turned away for her abortion, with just a month to go before she hit the legal limit to receive one in the state. I slipped her a brochure for another clinic, and quietly instructed her why, with a defensible suggestion to leave that part out of her next counseling session.

HB0282, the law that required me to refuse D healthcare, also prohibits abortion due to disability diagnosis.

[mylovesstuffs]

Got way too many asks about my announcement [as expected lol], so instead of answering individually, I’ll be going through them all here! Please take your time to read through in case your question has already been answered! After this Q&A, I’ll be making another announcement regarding this situation‼️

[only some of the screenshots]

Let's get started:

can you leave us with a hint before you go?: the number 17. a misplaced umbrella. a cat who knows too much. make of that what you will.

IS THERE AT LEAST ONE THING YOU CAN TELL US ABOUT YOUR NEW JOB: yes. it’s happening.

what happens if you get bias-wrecked while working? 💀: i write the word “focus” on a post-it. i stare at it. it stares back at me. i fail.

what's the worst thing that could happen now that you're officially working with pledis: svt finds my blog.

Genuine question: do you at least get free SEVENTEEN merch now??: no but i do get free stress and paranoia that svt will somehow find my blog

i- if this is a bit I'm impressed with the commitment. I'll believe it if you're still talking about it tomorrow 😅: That’s fair, honestly. If I were in your shoes, I’d wait for the 24-hour test too 😅 But see, I am still talking about it today [it's been 24 hours], what now??

According to this responded asking, I have a question ⁉️https://www.tumblr.com/mylovesstuffs/779638646332637184/okay-but-what-if-u-suddenly-get-hit-with?source=share so when you say "indefinite hiatus" do you mean "see you in two weeks when you impulsively post at 3am"?: that is a very fair assumption. however, i legally cannot confirm or deny this possibility.

Cel my baby there's nooooo way this isn't a joke 💀💀 you can't convince me otherwise 😔 if it's true, we're getting free tickets and everything from you right, babe?: NOT Baby. Baby barely got in the door, how is Baby supposed to smuggle tickets?? I haven’t even figured out how to smuggle myself into a stable sleep schedule yet. But I love the confidence 😭

so when the next comeback has a suspiciously familiar trope we just—: you just 👀

You’re either the luckiest person on the planet or the best liar I’ve ever met. Either way, I’m in awe: I, too, am in awe of whatever cosmic forces decided this was my life path. Luck? Lies? Who can say? (Me. I can say. But I won’t. Yet.)

If this is actually real then congrats Celeste!!! But also, if this is a joke, I’m never trusting you again. My trust issues cannot handle this 😭: Oh, so it’s conditional congrats now? 😐 No, I get it, I get it. I’d be side-eyeing me too. Just know that regardless of the outcome, I appreciate the almost-support 😭💖

this is actually insane. you went from “writing for fun” to “i work for svt”: this is why you should never underestimate a tumblr writer with too much time and delusions of grandeur.

CELESTE ARE YOU JOKING ABT LEAVING TUMBLR BUT CONGRATS OH MY GOD????: Emotional whiplash in the form of an ask. I respect it. Thank you?? Also, “leaving” is such a strong word, I prefer to say “going on an indefinite semi-permanent forced hiatus due to legal obligations” 🙂

I'M SORRY BUT THIS IS SO SUSPICIOUS???? PLEDIS? PLEDIS ENTERTAINMENT?? CAME TO YOU? TO TUMBLR DOT COM?? WHAT HAPPENED TO PRIVACY? WHAT HAPPENED TO THEY DON’T EVEN PROMOTE THEIR ARTISTS PROPERLY? WHAT HAPPENED TO THEY DONT PROTECT THEIR ARTISTS? WHAT HAPPENED TO–: Anon is going through ALL the stages of grief in real-time and I love that for you. But listen. Apparently, the company that gave us the most menacing idols is just as menacing. Who knew?

BRO THIS IS LIKE WHEN I LOST MY FAVORITE WATTPAD WRITER TO PUBLISHING EXCEPT THIS TIME IT’S CORPORATE 😭😭😭 WHERE DO I FILE A COMPLAINT?? DO I @ PLEDIS?? DO I @ SEOUL CITY GOVT???: PLEASE NOT SEOUL CITY GOVT 😭 The mayor has nothing to do with this, I promise. If you have complaints, I advise writing them on a Post-it note, throwing it into the wind, and letting the universe handle it.

OK BUT LIKE?? IF THIS IS TRUE THEN I’M SCREAMING BUT ALSO WHY DID YOU HAVE TO ANNOUNCE IT ON APRIL 1ST. YOU EXPECT US TO BELIEVE YOU. ON APRIL. FOOLS. DAY. DARL BE SO SERIOUS RN: No because I get it. If I saw this, I wouldn’t believe me either. The timing is truly horrendous. But alas, the universe has jokes and I am the punchline.

ok but does this mean your collab fic is your final fic final fic or is it like. a 'one last job' heist movie type of final fic bc i need to prepare myself emotionally: It’s very “one last job before retirement but something keeps pulling me back in” coded. But no, really—before and after that fic, it’s silence. Radio static. Just me staring out a window.

slams hands on table CELESTE EXPLAIN YOURSELF. I NEED A SIT-DOWN POWERPOINT FROM U I NEED TO KNOW EVERYTHING.: BESTIE I AM STILL PROCESSING THIS MYSELF 😭 I don’t even have a table to slam my hands on, I’m just sitting here in shock, bt once I figure out how to make a PowerPoint about “how tf this happened,” I’ll send it your way.

im not gonna fall for this. nice try. april fools day. ha ha. very funny. NEXT: I respect the skepticism but also. Imagine I am telling the truth and you just dismissed me like this. Imagine.

NO. NO WAY. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. CELESTE !!!!!! YOU ARE NOT LEAVING ME LIKE THIS. I AM GRABBING YOUR ANKLE. PLEDIS GET AWAY FROM HER!!!!: Anon, I need you to release my ankle. PLEDIS is just a company, they don’t have me in a chokehold [yet]. But also, this is the funniest visual ever. Imagine me trying to walk into their office with an anon just dragging behind me, screaming.

I’m calling the FBI. I’m calling sVT THEMSELVES. They need to confirm this IMMEDIATELY because I refuse to believe you are leaving us here to ROT (and that this isn't april fools): The FBI and SEVENTEEN in the same sentence is insane. Imagine Woozi opening an email like “this Tumblr user says you have to confirm a hiring decision.” He would block you on sight.

TUMBLR STAFF NEEDS TO PUT A WARNING BEFORE POSTS LIKE THIS. “HEY GUYS, WARNING: YOU ARE ABOUT TO GET YOUR HEART RIPPED OUT OF YOUR CHEST” BECAUSE WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK: No because Tumblr actually does need that feature

Okay but real talk… how did PLEDIS find you on Tumblr of all places??? Do they just have staff lurking around like 👀 oh wow this person’s fic writing skills are crazy?? I NEED ANSWERS: Listen. I, too, have questions. Did someone just randomly stumble across my blog and go? Did Mingyu send a link like, “hey PLEDIS, look at this”??? DO THEY HAVE A SECRET DIVISION FOR TUMBLR SURVEILLANCE?? I NEED ANSWERS TOO.

BRO. BROOOO. ARE YOU TELLING ME I WAS JUST CASUALLY SCROLLING THROUGH TUMBLR DOT COM AND YOU HIT ME WITH A LIFE-CHANGING ANNOUNCEMENT LIKE THIS????? I AM HAVING HEART PALPITATIONS: I would say, “sorry for the heart palpitations” but I literally did just drop a bomb out of nowhere, so. My bad. Please take deep breaths. Hydrate. Maybe lie down.

CEL, MY Bro if you’re serious, I’m happy for you, but if this is an April Fools’ joke, I swear on my entire bloodline that I will personally hunt you down and make you answer every single ask in your inbox 🙏🏻: Anon, my bro, I have never been more afraid of an ask in my life. Not the entire bloodline threat. Not the forced inbox labor. If this was an April Fools’ joke, I would simply flee the country at this point.

Are you SURE this isn’t an April Fools’ joke???? You're playing us

If it is , I'm committing way too hard 💀😐

[waltwhitmansbeard]

my fair lady: chapter fourteen

here's what came before. tagging @romeoandjulietyouwish as i believe i am now legally obligated to do.

The moon is well into its journey through the night sky, and Keyleth is still awake—and scandalously, she is not alone. She's curled up in her dressing gown on her window seat, a steaming cup of herbal tea in her hands, and looking between the two men in the room with her. Vax is seated on the small cot he's meant to be sleeping on per the sovereign's orders not to leave Keyleth's side, and Percy's pacing a line from the door to the opposite window and back again. Vax's eyes follow Percy as he walks, and Keyleth watches the mischief in them as he contemplates tripping Percy each time he passes by.

"Percy, can you please sit?" she finally says. "You're going to wear straight through the floor."

Percy pauses in front of the door. "Sorry. I just...there's something we're missing."

"The Draconians really think we'd order an attack on our own people?" Vax asks.

"Who knows if they really believe it," Percy replies. "They're angry."

"So am I," Keyleth says. "But angry doesn't get us any closer to answers, and it doesn't get that peace treaty signed."

Vax's jaw clenches at the mention of the peace treaty. "Is that such a bad thing?"

"Vax'ildan," Percy snaps.

"I'm serious. We lost three dozen Ashari that night. Vesrah will be in mourning for months. They tried to kidnap you, Keyleth. I don't know about you two, but I'm not in the mood for peace."

"Vax."

He falls silent when Keyleth says his name. She understands his frustration, his itch for vengeance. She imagines it must be hard for him, to stay cooped up with her when he's more fit for skirting through the shadows, taking real, substantive action. Still, she knows that the best thing for her country is an official end to the war with Draconia—provided, of course, Draconia was not behind the death at the peace celebration. "It feels as though at this rate, it'll take a miracle to get both sides talking to each other long enough to get the accords signed. I know my father is chomping at the bit to resume hostilities. He's convinced Draconia sanctioned the attack."

"But that's just it," Percy says. "Your father negotiated well in the weeks it took to draw up that treaty, but even still, I would argue that Draconia got slightly better terms than we did, which your father was willing to concede for the sake of ending the violence. Killing dozens of Ashari in cold blood on a day of peace only serves to prolong the war and, should we ever be at peace talks again, ensure that Sovereign Korrin does so with the intent to make Draconia suffer. Why risk it?"

Vax hums. "You're right. It does prolong the war."

Percy furrows his brow, confused, but Keyleth knows exactly what Vax is getting at. "Of course!" She sets her tea to the side and stands, starting to pace a little circle of her own. "You're right, Percival, in that now both our nation and Draconia are motivated to keep fighting, because without irrefutable proof of the other's innocence, we'll never believe we weren't just horrifically attacked. King Kruvanis doesn't want to commit to the peace, and quite frankly, neither does my father. And so we fight on."

"But who benefits from that?"

"Exactly, Percy!" She stops pacing, excited. "Who benefits from war?"

"...Oh."

They're all on the same page now. This war has nearly emptied the Ashari Nation's coffers, and she imagines the same is true of Draconia's, but that money didn't disappear into thin air. It's now lining the pockets of blacksmiths, fletchers, elite squads of mercenaries, battle mages, and others who contributed to the war effort. With the signing of the peace treaty, the flow of money from each nation to those who profit from war stops. There are countless stakeholders who would love to see the peace interrupted and the war continue, if only for their own monetary gain.

"This whole thing was a set-up," Keyleth breathes, falling back onto the window seat.

"We need proof," Vax says. "We can't take a hunch to your father, and we definitely can't bring it before Kruvanis."

"When is your sister going back to Zephrah?"

Vax looks at her, confused. "In the morning. Lady Allura is taking her back to begin fortifying the castle, in case of increased aggression. Why?"

Instead of answering, she darts over to the small writing desk in the room and scribbles something on a piece of parchment. After just a few moments, she seals the parchment with her royal insignia. She walks to Percy and hands him the letter. "Percy, go give this to Vex. Have her deliver it to Master Gilmore. He should have records of all transactions made to support the war effort. He should follow the money, starting with whomever we paid the most. That's who has the most to lose by the war's ending."

Percy takes her by the shoulders and plants a big kiss on her forehead. "You are a genius, and a credit to your family."

Keyleth feels her cheeks burn, but she wraps her arms around Percy all the same. "It's a team effort, always. I'm nothing to my people with you." She is still angry with him, still hurt by his confession in the greenhouse, but that doesn't stop her words from being true.

Percy extracts himself from the hug, bows low, and sweeps out of the room, giving a small wave to Derrig as he passes by.

Once the door is closed again, Keyleth tosses herself onto her bed with a sigh. She stares up into the beautifully woven canopy above the bed, and for the first time in days, she feels the feathered wings of hope beating wildly in her chest.

.

"In case you were wondering," Vax says, keeping his voice low, "that was the moment you were ready."

Keyleth twists her head atop her duvet to look at him inquisitively. "Ready?"

"To become sovereign."

And he means it. He's always known, has always been able to see it in her, but her own doubt was her biggest stumbling-block. No more. He needs her to know, needs her to see how utterly capable she is of being the queen her people deserve, the queen she was born to be.

She sits up slowly, her fingers twisting in her lap. "It feels good, taking the steps to ensure my nation is safe, or, at least, closer to safety. I think I'll be ready if I'm able to truly end this war. Which..." She slips off the bed and walks over to stand just a few feet in front of him. His fingers twitch, desperate to reach out and pull her in by the waist, to carefully untie the knot of her dressing gown, to commit the sins he knows will cost him his head someday. She draws herself up tall and says confidently, "I have a task for you."

He tilts his head to the side, a slow smile creeping along his face. "Yes, Your Highness?"

"I need you to set up a meeting between myself and Prince Tiberius."

The smile disappears. "What?"

"A secret meeting, you and I with him and one guard of his choosing, at the place of his choosing. And it needs to happen before we hear back from Master Gilmore."

Vax shoves off of his cot. "Have you lost your mind? Kruvanis may have been the one to sanction your kidnapping from that gala and you want to meet with his son alone?"

Keyleth frowns at him sternly. "Not alone. As I said, you will be there to accompany me, and he should bring a guard as well. I have things I need to discuss with him regarding our fathers' peace treaty."

Vax gapes at her, but she stares back, expression impassable. She's serious, which is the part that terrifies him the most. "Keyleth—" He's begging at this point. "—please. It hasn't even been two days since I pulled a poison dagger out of your leg. Please don't ask me to put your life at risk again."

Her stoic expression softens just a fraction. Her hand jolts forward, as if to take his, then hesitates, before grabbing his hand and squeezing it tight. "What kind of sovereign would I be if I didn't put my own life on the line for my people?"

No, the voice in Vax's head screams. Fuck the people, and fuck the crown, if the cost is her life. He grips her hand and steps forward to duck his forehead to rest against hers. He watches her eyes flutter shut, and for one heartbeat, the space between the two of them feels as comfortable and familiar as it did back in Zephrah, when he would come to her by the light of the moon and feel, as he has so rarely felt before in his life, a true peace.

"I will do as you command, my queen." His voice is a whisper. "But know this: at the first sign of danger, any hint of a betrayal or a trap, and I will strike the prince dead where he stands. He will not find mercy by my hand."

Keyleth's eyes open, and she tilts her head up to look at him. Her lips are agonizingly, tantalizingly close to his. She nods once. "Thank you, Vax'ildan."

He watches her lips move as she says it, and the gods themselves could not be strong enough to stop him. He brings a finger up beneath her chin and, after another heartbeat, when she does not pull away, he kisses her, a kiss so languid and indulgent it tastes like the most delectable mistake he could ever make. She sighs, the fingers of her free hand tangling in the fabric of his tunic. She pulls herself in closer to him, and now the pounding of his heart is dangerous. Derrig is just on the other side of the door, and surely he can hear it, the rush of blood in his ears, the thunder in his chest.

He kisses her once more, twice, and then presses his lips to her forehead. "You should get some sleep," he murmurs, before finally releasing her hand and stepping back.

Keyleth nods, almost dazed, and then turns to begin blowing out the candles. Vax slides onto his cot, willing his racing heart to slow before it kills him. The last candle is extinguished, and Keyleth crawls into her bed. "Goodnight, Vax," she whispers through the dark.

"Goodnight, Your Highness."

[moontheoretist]

Sokovia Accords Meta

Sokovia Accords should be named Hollywood Bullshit in the MCU, because this is what they actually are.

They’re not a document, they’re a plot point with vague lines about what is actually inside them thrown here and there, but with zero actual concretes about the whole subject.

We don’t know what is inside.

Wiki doesn’t know what is inside either.

I am not the first person to say this, but you should take what is on the Wiki with a grain of salt, as it’s just someone’s assumption.

Instead, watch the sources given there yourself and decide yourself if the interpretation on the Wiki is accurate or not. Otherwise, you will just spread someone else’s opinion instead of your own.

Do your own analysis.

Speaking of which, I am kind of tired of how MCU portrays the Accords, so I decided to google a bit on my own, and I found a gov page Science Safety Security,  which details how an international agreement should look like, so I will now go over it bit by bit.

International agreements are formal understandings or commitments between two or more countries. An agreement between two countries is called “bilateral,” while an agreement between several countries is “multilateral.”

The countries bound by an international agreement are generally referred to as “States Parties.”

This is pretty straightforward. Just a definition.

In the context of the MCU, it basically means that Sokovia Accords are a multilateral agreement between several countries, because there are like 117 of them agreeing on the issue stated in the Accords, and they’re all considered State Parties of that particular treaty.

Under international law, a treaty is any legally binding agreement between states (countries). A treaty can be called a Convention, a Protocol, a Pact, an Accord, etc.; it is the content of the agreement, not its name, which makes it a treaty. Thus, the Geneva Protocol and the Biological Weapons Convention are both treaties even though neither has the word “treaty” in its name.

Under U.S. law, a treaty is specifically a legally binding agreement between countries that requires ratification and the “advice and consent” of the Senate. All other agreements (treaties in the international sense) are called Executive Agreements, but are nonetheless legally binding for the U.S. under international law.

This basically means that no matter the name, Accords are a treaty between countries, just like the ones listed above as the examples. The second paragraph also states that even when USA is pa States Party, they still need to ratify it via their own Senate first, before they are bound to actually abide by the rules stated in the said treaty.

In the context of the MCU, what it actually tells me is that the whole ratification of the Accords in Vienna (considering that Vienna is a place where UN has their base) is the ratification done by the UN of the said documents, not the countries which signed it. It’s like a separate thing.

To better understand what ratifying the document by UN actually entails, I looked for another page and I found definitions, which helped me a lot to actually understand what happened with the Accords, or at least should happen if Hollywood was not incredibly bad at research.

Signature Subject to Ratification, Acceptance or Approval

Where the signature is subject to ratification, acceptance or approval, the signature does not establish the consent to be bound. However, it is a means of authentication and expresses the willingness of the signatory state to continue the treaty-making process. The signature qualifies the signatory state to proceed to ratification, acceptance or approval. It also creates an obligation to refrain, in good faith, from acts that would defeat the object and the purpose of the treaty.

[Arts.10 and 18, Vienna Convention on the Law of Treaties 1969]

Ratification

Ratification defines the international act whereby a state indicates its consent to be bound to a treaty if the parties intended to show their consent by such an act. In the case of bilateral treaties, ratification is usually accomplished by exchanging the requisite instruments, while in the case of multilateral treaties the usual procedure is for the depositary to collect the ratifications of all states, keeping all parties informed of the situation. The institution of ratification grants states the necessary time-frame to seek the required approval for the treaty on the domestic level and to enact the necessary legislation to give domestic effect to that treaty.  

[Arts.2 (1) (b), 14 (1) and 16, Vienna Convention on the Law of Treaties 1969]

Accession

"Accession" is the act whereby a state accepts the offer or the opportunity to become a party to a treaty already negotiated and signed by other states. It has the same legal effect as ratification. Accession usually occurs after the treaty has entered into force. [...] The conditions under which accession may occur and the procedure involved depend on the provisions of the treaty. A treaty might provide for the accession of all other states or for a limited and defined number of states. In the absence of such a provision, accession can only occur where the negotiating states were agreed or subsequently agree on it in the case of the state in question.

[Arts.2 (1) (b) and 15, Vienna Convention on the Law of Treaties 1969]

~ Dag Hammarskjöld Library

The first paragraph means that when a States Party signs a treaty, they are giving their consent to proceed and express knowledge and understanding of what the treaty actually means for them. It is not bound, meaning that if you give consent now, it doesn’t mean you cannot take it back later. It just says that you are willing to give a treaty a chance and continue negotiating.

The last part needed another google search, to properly understand what “in good faith” even means in the legal-speak.

“Good faith” has generally been defined as honesty in a person’s conduct during the agreement. The obligation to perform in good faith exists even in contracts that expressly allow either party to terminate the contract for any reason. “Fair dealing” usually requires more than just honesty. It generally requires that a party cannot act contrary to the “spirit” of the contract, even if you give the opposing party notice that you intend to do so.

In general, the duty of good faith and fair dealing means, for example, that parties cannot evade the spirit of the bargain, lack diligence or slack off, perform incorrectly on purpose, abuse their power when specifying the terms of a contract, or interfere with or fail to cooperate in the other party’s performance. [...] each party to a contract has a duty to do everything that the contract assumes he or she will do to accomplish its purpose. This means that your performance under a contract is excused—or does not need to happen—if your performance is prevented or hindered by the other party to the contract. In other words, your performance in a contract does not need to be completed—and you won’t be considered to have breached the contract—if the other party is interfering with or fails to cooperate with your performance.

~ American Bar Association

I am no lawyer, but this is how I understand this: That the States Party agree to not stand against, and refrain from actions which may oppose the things the treaty wants to achieve.

According to the High Court of Australia:

- an element of good faith would be “fairness in dealings between contracting parties” and it “is wider than that of honesty”.

From the Federal Court of Australia:

- the obligation of good faith means to “act honestly and with a fidelity to the bargain; an obligation not to act dishonestly and not to act to undermine the bargain entered or the substance of the contractual benefit bargained for; and an obligation to act reasonably and with fair dealing having regard to the interests of the parties (which will, inevitably, at times conflict) and to the provisions, aims and purposes of the contract, objectively ascertained”; but

- acting in good faith does not mean a party has to act against its own interests.

~ Holding Redlich

From Australian definition, I understood that “in a good faith” means fairness and honesty while entering an agreement with another party. That States Party cannot act in a way which is deceitful - it means that they cannot try to trick other parties in the agreement in order to fulfill their own objectives at the expense of other States Parties and that they should respect the interests of other States Parties.

From both of them I understood that State Parties should not act in a way which will stand against the ideas of the treaty, but it doesn’t mean that they own interests have to suffer in order to do this.

But coming back to the initial thing I was analyzing: the second paragraph titled “Ratification” means that when the country ratifies the treaty, they declare willingness to abide by what that treaty says. It also says that in the case of multilateral treaties like the Accords, UN first collects ratifications of each country which signed the treaty and because that process takes a lot of time it gives countries enough time to create laws which will abide by the treaty. It includes the laws which will make the people in the country to also abide by the treaty.

While the last paragraph titled “Accession” basically says that a country can enter into the agreement even when it is already binding, so nobody is excluded from joining in. And that if it was not specified in the treaty how accession of the new States Parties should happen, the State Parties which were already part of the agreement need to negotiate with each other and agree for the new ones to join.

In the context of the MCU, it would mean that in the scene when Ross presents the Sokovia Accords and informs the Avengers that they will be ratified in 3 days since that meeting, all the countries which signed the Accords already ratified them and provided UN with the necessary documents to proceed with the treaty in question. I am not sure if the grand UN ceremony of ratification was actually needed, but I assume it was just supposed to be a proverbial icing on the cake.

It also means that all of those 117 countries started the process of creating or already created and even possibly implemented the laws which enforce the things they agreed on in the treaty - that Accords already affect the mundane day-to-day lives of the enhanced people.

MCU, however, frames the whole dispute over the Accords as if either Ross just took them out of his ass this week or Avengers were a bunch of ignorant babies, who didn’t pay attention to the politics at all. Most of them act as if they never even heard of that treaty.

The process of negotiating such a treaty with so many signatory countries takes YEARS, so it’s impossible that they would not know about it or at least heard something about it, unless they were actively ignoring it all this time. Not to mention that some people see those 3 days given to the Avengers as a coercion tactic aimed at the Avengers by the UN to force them to comply and abide by the documents which by all means and purposes they are already abiding by, because USA should have ratified it before the ratification in Vienna.

Tony is the only one who seems to know, and I am not surprised, because of all people there, he would definitely have heard about that treaty before. He is a businessman. His company has international reach, of course he would pay attention to politics and new laws being made and passed, as well as treaties being negotiated and ratified around the world. It’s not something you can just do in the shadows, behind the backs of the countries in question and the people living in those countries. If you are a citizen who pays attention to the politics, you would have known about the Accords, because your country would vote on its ratification first. Unless, of course, you were living in one of the countries which didn’t sign the Accords. But even then you would still hear about it at least once thanks to news mentioning it.

It would be too big to not be talked about around the world.

What I can conclude from this is that MCU bullshits the Accords as suddenly made up document for the sake of drama.

They showed us - the audience - every disaster since the Battle of New York, so it stands to reason that it may be in the works since then, and Lagos was just a good opportunity to finally ratify it, but they still insist that it was due to Ultron turning a Sokovian city (Novi Grad) into a goddamn meteor by naming them “Sokovia Accords”, as if they couldn’t pick any other disaster, or just call them something like “Enhanced Humans Rights and Responsibilities Act”.

Anyway...

It looks like to me that UN saw that there are superheroes who can fight aliens and decided, “well, we should probably regulate how those heroes can and cannot operate on an international scale”. They basically started making laws to make superheroes a legal goddamn thing (instead of vigilante illegal work) on an international goddamn scale, and by that made other countries acknowledge the existence of enhanced people and also invited them to talk about their existence, their rights and responsibilities, their impact on the world.

This however still doesn’t explain WHY Avengers as singular entities need to sign the Accords before they are ratified. Avengers are not countries. They are not supposed to sign documents like this, because they are already under USA’s regulations in regard to the Accords.

What I can conclude is that if writers of the MCU were actually willing to do research the signing of each of the Avengers would be more of a show of good faith, which we talked about above, and demonstration that “Look, those heroes from New York are on our side, they listen to us!” than an actual “If you sign this document, you will have to abide by it and can be prosecuted if you won’t, but if you don’t sign you are completely free to do whatever the hell you want” kind of thing.

Which, now when I think about it, also makes Steve’s argument about relinquishing the power to government (aside from UN not being a government) completely void, because he already was under that law. USA already ratified it. He had no say in the matter, because he is not a politician or a lawmaker. He could voice his objections to the UN still, I suppose, but at this point all those countries which already talked about it for years would be like “If you don’t bring us a point which we didn’t discuss already then please stop embarrassing yourself”.

Coming back to the rest of the article on Science Safety Security:

A treaty is negotiated by a group of countries, either through an organization set up for that specific purpose, or through an existing body such as the United Nations (UN) Council for Disarmament. The negotiation process may take several years, depending on the topic of the treaty and the number of countries participating. After negotiations are finished, the treaty is signed by representatives of the governments involved. The terms may require that the treaty be ratified as well as signed before it becomes legally binding.

A government ratifies a treaty by depositing an instrument of ratification at a location specified in the treaty; the instrument of ratification is a document containing a formal confirmation that the government consents to the terms of the treaty. The ratification process varies according to the laws and Constitutions of each country. In the U.S., the President can ratify a treaty only after getting the “advice and consent” of two thirds of the Senate.

Basically what I have already said above. Negotiations take years and can happen via UN. Depending on the terms of the treaty, it may need to be both signed and ratified before it is legally binding, which is actually the case which the Accords would follow if MCU writers did research first, instead of bullshitting a whole ass political issue.

Again, the countries which ratify the treaty need to provide a proof - document of ratification at certain place stated within the treaty which will act as their consent to proceed with the said treaty.

And like I already said in the US and probably in most of the countries involved it needs to go through Senate or another parliamentary instance first before it is even ratified within a country.

Unless a treaty contains provisions for further agreements or actions, only the treaty text is legally binding. Generally, an amendment to a treaty is only binding to the states that have ratified the amendment, and agreements reached at review conferences, summits, or meetings of the states parties are politically but not legally binding.

An example of a treaty that does have provisions for further binding agreements is the UN Charter. By signing and ratifying the Charter, countries agreed to be legally bound by resolutions passed by UN bodies such as the General Assembly and the Security Council. Thus, UN resolutions are legally binding on UN Member States, and no signature or ratification is necessary.

This paragraph says that only the text of the treaty is legally binding, and that amendments are possible and are only affecting the countries which signed and ratified the treaty. Any agreement reached in any other way than changing the very text of the treaty like for example via meeting, summit etc. is not legally binding no matter what.

In MCU universe it means that if Tony managed to push amendments with the UN and change the text of the Accords, it would be legally binding for all countries which ratified the Accords, including the USA. Considering that USA is shitty at laws and general approach to human rights, going straight to UN for amendments is more logical and benefits more countries in the long run. The bad side is that countries which signed the treaty can still not abide by it fully, or create laws which use loopholes in the text of the treaty. Which means that USA could still abuse enhanced people while UN would tell them time and time again that this is bad and USA would just flip them off until the pressure from the outside was so strong that they could not get away with it anymore, which let’s be honest doesn’t happen often.

The existence of RAFT would be probably a viable reason for argument between the USA and UN, because thanks to what I stated above we KNOW now that RAFT would be USA approved prison abiding by USA’s laws made to abide by the Accords, not something UN was in charge of. And thanks to real life issue like Guantanamo still not being closed despite UN’s constant calls to the USA to close that inhuman place, we can say that USA is abusing the Accords to do their own shitty things and persecute the enhanced individuals.

I used to say that Accords cannot be legally binding because they were not ratified due to the bomb going off in Vienna, but now it actually makes sense for Ross to chase Rogue Avengers “under the Accords”, because USA would have already put in place laws which supposedly abided by the Accords, but were in fact infringing on them by using loopholes in the text of the Accords. That’s also why Tony wanted Avengers to help him amend them, because it is touching all of them already and without the amendments to the text it will be harder to put pressure on the USA to change the laws they already created.

It still makes no sense that Avengers have to sign the document as themselves, and it is still a goddamn clusterfuck of non-researched hand waved bullshit, so don’t take this last sentence as “actually MCU did ok with making the Accords believable”, because they the fuck did not. They didn’t mention that USA or any other signatory country already talked about the Accords, ratified them and put in place laws which abide by them. It is not canon, but should have been.

It should have been researched properly before the writers actually sit down to writing this hell of a story, but as we all well know, they didn’t want the issue to be political. They wanted it to be personal, therefore facts don’t matter, everybody can bullshit whatever the hell they want, and I have to experience my eyes bleed while seeing this.

[maxwell-grant]

May I please ask what your preferred dynamic between Holmes & Lupin would be? (From what I can tell, the term 'frenemies' might have been invented for these two - if any two characters in fiction WOULD spend all their time trying to one-up each other it's these two, if only their diverse other commitments, challenges & interests left them the free time to do so: I'm also morally certain a sadly-hypothetical Holmes/Lupin team is one of the few things that could bring down Fantomas for Good).

I think "frenemies" is what ultimately works best for these two specifically, because there's a certain untouchability to icons as big as these two that limits the potential stories you can tell with them (although yes, definitely on board with the two having what it takes to bring down Fantomas, although probably not as cleanly and easily as they might expect).

The original Leblanc stories involving this premise are very much centered around one-upmanship, even embracing a theme of national rivalry of England vs France. They acknowledge Holmes's talents but without the awe, with a somewhat aged Holmes with mundane imperfections easily exploited by the daring young thief, someone deserving of his legend but who doesn't quite live up to it. Obviously Lupin's gotta have the upperhand, not just because it's his author writing it, but because the whole point of Lupin's creation was to be the new hotness, the counterpart to both the stuffy old Great Detectives as well as the aristocratic master burglars, and really, what kind of rising superstar would he be if he couldn't put one over the other guy? If he's gonna live up to his claim of being the greatest criminal ever, he's gotta be able to humble the greatest detective at least a little.

The treatment of Watson (Wilson) is tasteless and it's frankly a bit saddening to see that even back then writers were still shitting on Watson far too much, but on the whole I think Leblanc was a lot fairer to Holmes than he could have been (certainly other writers from this time period who added Holmes to their stories were not as fair), he makes it very clear Holmes is not just another Ganimard out of his depth and is very much as close to an equal Lupin's ever had. I think the description used to cap off their final meeting is very much on point:

"You see, monsieur, whatever we may do, we will never be on the same side. You are on one side of the fence; I am on the other. We can exchange greetings, shake hands, converse a moment, but the fence is always there.

You will remain Herlock Sholmes, detective, and I, Arsène Lupin, gentleman-burglar. And Herlock Sholmes will ever obey, more or less spontaneously, with more or less propriety, his instinct as a detective, which is to pursue the burglar and run him down, if possible.

And Arsène Lupin, in obedience to his burglarious instinct, will always be occupied in avoiding the reach of the detective, and making sport of the detective, if he can do it. And, this time, he can do it" - Arsene Lupin vs Herlock Sholmes

The consistent outcome is that Holmes "wins" the material battle while Lupin gets away with the spiritual or karmic victory. The first story, Holmes has Lupin figured out from a glance, robbing him of his greatest asset, and Lupin even tells Holmes under a guise that he has no greater admirer than himself. Holmes choses not to arrest Lupin, and instead solves the mystery as quickly as Lupin would. But he is also, well, inferior. His "commonplace appearence" dissappoints the guests and detectives at the crime scene, he doesn't resemble their expectations, he is gruff, ungracious, arrogant and all-business, an Englishman all the way, and Lupin one-ups him by returning to him his stolen watch, and Holmes is not a good sport about it.

The whole "Herlock Sholmes" name change, although it was out of legal obligation, almost reads like a cheeky courtesy of Leblanc, like he's giving Holmes enough of a courtesy in sparing him the embarassment of being the loser. And the following adventures stay consistent: Sholmes is smart, as smart as Lupin, and he's a gentleman. But he isn't as smart as he thinks he is, and he isn't as much of a gentleman as Lupin. He resorts to unsporting tactics like intimidating Lupin's lover and involving the police in their conflict, and in the end, he's solved the crime, but "sown the seeds of discord" in a family Lupin was protecting, becoming the villain for a change, a role reversion Lupin openly laughs at. Holmes wins the "loot", he wins the material battle, but Lupin has the last laugh, and despite being a self-proclaimed villain, Lupin gets the moral victory.

It's a quite unflattering view of Holmes and one perhaps not suited for a crossover outside of the specific context of Holmes being the old and stuffy intruder in an Arsene Lupin story. Then again, every great hero needs a lesson in humility every now and then.

There's a particularly interesting variant of this dynamic to be found within China's own takes on Sherlock Holmes and Arsene Lupin.

Sherlock Holmes was quite the breakout hit for Chinese audiences at the time of his release, revered as an alternative to Judge Bao and the court-case novels. It's estimated that from 1903 to 1909, detective fiction constituted over almost 50% percent of all Western translated fiction, and with Holmes followed others like Nick Carter and Charlie Chan, and then Arsene Lupin, and soon their own local versions. The most famous and popular of which was Huo Sang, created by Cheng Xiaoqing, who was one of the main translators for Conan Doyle's stories. Cheng Xiaoqing even wrote his own take on Sherlock Holmes vs Arsene Lupin called "The Diamond Necklace", intending on correcting Leblanc's take, although interestingly, he unintentionally recreates the exact outcome by giving Holmes an unsporting attitude, where he "wins" only because Lupin lets him, and Lupin gets away again with the moral high ground. He would fare off much better in correcting Holmes with his own character, Huo Sang.

Huo Sang has a lot of similarities to Holmes, even with his own Watson counterpart, but was also designed to represent a few more traditional Chinese values. He is a science teacher with no addictions who belittles the wealthy class and fights for the poor, and he is praised for humility, one story even making a point to criticize Holmes for arrogance. He is a very Westernized character, with suits and guns and cigarettes galore, but the books were very dictatic and the author marketed them as "disguised textbooks for science", playing up on a newfound social reverence to scientific methods and self-improvement and national rejuvenation.

The stories deal heavily with corruption of the police force and institutions. In the earlier stories he outright calls police detectives useless rice buckets only good for solving petty thefts and preying on those that can't defend themselves, and while they become less sinister in later stories, Huo Sang's relation with law enforcement is much more frayed than Holmes's own. He uses dirty police tactics of his own and sometimes takes the law into his own hands, thinking the law cannot possibly achieve justice on it's own. His biggest loyalty is to his country and he values his reputation above all else. He values justice more than the law, like Holmes. But like Holmes, he still prefers to work inside the law and within Chinese traditions.

"Bao Lang, you scholar, you're too idealistic. Don't you realize how weak the law is in modern society? Privilege and power, favors and money - the law has all these deadly enemies

"We investigate half to slake our thirst for knowledge, half out of duty to serve and uphold justice. In the realm of justice, we are never constrained by the wooden and unfeeling law. For in this society, which is gradually tending to surrender its core to material things, the spirit of the rule of law cannot be put into general practice, and the weak and ordinary people are aggrieved, more often than not unable to enjoy the protection of the law.

Lu Ping, as you'd expect from a counterpart to Lupin, was much different. In fact, right in his very first story, he was already pitted against Huo Sang and outsmarting him, in a story called "Wooden Puppet Play". The character is inspired by an already existing tradition within Chinese literature of the "chivalrous thief", shapeshifting masters of deception and martial arts, and considered admirable and benevolent opposite to the corrupt government officials they outwit.

His stories are more whimsical, energized, more varied, less dedicated to strict science. He whistles while committing crimes, is identifiable by a red tie and wooden puppets he uses to signal his goons on what outfit he's gonna be wearing, and even cracks asides to the reader. In many aspects Lu Ping is influenced by hard-boiled Western detective stories, and naturally, he has a much more contemptious view of the law than Huo Sang

Well then, was he willing, in his capacity as thief, to represent the sanctity of the law and catch the murderer? Yes, he would be quite happy to round up that murderer. But he wasn't at all willing to boost the reputation of the law. He'd always felt that the law was only something like an amulet that certain smart guys had fabricated to get them out of embarassing situations.

Such an amulet migh be good for scaring away idiots, but it oculdn't threaten the violent, crafty and arrogant evil ones. Not only could it not scare them away, a lot of them hid right behind it to work their evil tricks!

Conflicts between these two are not just rooted in one-upsmanship or the patriotic conflict between the two, but instead in two differing approaches to justice, their influence on fellow Chinese writers to step outside tradition, and the respective ways they address issues in society. Additionally, it's not just a conflict between Great Detective vs Gentleman Villain, but the Holmesian Detective and the Hardboiled Detective. And, naturally, when the two met, a pattern reocurred again.

Writing a Lu Ping tale in his usual manner, Sun Liaohong deprives the detective of the advantage he typically enjoys at the hand of Cheng Xiaoqing or any other follower of Conan Doyle - narration by the detective's coadjutor.

It is Huo Sang who slinks around like a thief, alarming hotel service personnel. He becomes rattled, and even so is vain and arrogant. He is a bit too positivist about searching for clues, and he spends a remarkable amount of time just relaxing and waiting for something to happen.

The figure of "wooden puppets" turns wicked when the author uses the term to refer to Huo Sang, Bao Lang, and the police. Satirizing the genre as a play in which the author woodenly manipulates his character. But Lu Ping as puppet is a genius, moving from one identity to another, whereas Huo Sang is a dumbbell - wooden indeed, bourgeois, ridiculed.

A gentleman's agreement occurs only at the end. Huo Sang has the formal victory. He frees Lu Ping in order to get the paining, but the exhibition is held a day late and it now bears Lu Ping's seal.

In wartime, peace talks, diplomacy and gentlemen's agreements are just smoke screens, the stuff of puppetry. Both Huo Sang and Lu Ping surround themselves with lies to reach their final accomodation. Perhaps they are both puppets - Chinese Justice, the Fiction: Law and Literature in Modern China, by Jeffrey C. Kinkley

Both characters were canned in 1949 when the CCP banned detective fiction, and it was replaced with anti-spy literature about how the party police would expose counterrevolutionary conspiracies. They never got to have a rematch, and to my understanding there were a couple of films made afterwards about them, Huo Sang had a very recent one in 2019, but never another meeting.

I guess the takeaway here time and time again is that, credit to Holmes and all, but: