#and i struggle with codependency.

[cypric-rat-hyperfixation]

umhhh I may (??) have bpd 😍✨

tune in for the latest in op's growing collection of mental illnesses next month, on an all-new episode of

disorder hoarder

[sainteclectic]

hi wholesoul warriors. imagine whole telling him he did a good job and soul immediately collapsing into his arms from the relief, being pulled closer by whole who hasn't had this much touch in such a long time. please imagine them curled up together, soul sleeping on whole's lap while he reads a book. finally, soul gets to rest knowing things will be okay. finally, whole can be loved without begging for it. and everything is beautiful if only for a moment :-)

[dykedvonte]

Jimmy killing himself because he knows he is incapable of living an life without Curly and knows that in the miracle chance they were found and saved they would not let him have contact with Curly and he hates the idea he'd actually have to take responsibility.

Even if he lied, its only a matter of time before Curly is capable of showing or telling what a monster he really is, no matter what delusions tell Jimmy Curly would never do that to him.

He understands that he was the monster in everyone's worse moments but refused to accept that at the end. So he made sure that he died without the possibility of it being actualized as he's the only one that saw death as an escape rather than a release. Jimmy truly didn't believe Curly had anything to escape from even after everything and let him have what he perceived as glory as the sole survivor and thus Captain of the Tulpar.

[idk-bruh-20]

Irondad fic ideas #154

CW: this one's pretty gruesome. read at your own risk 

Peter is a young child who's been kidnapped. His parents and/or his aunt and uncle were killed and he was taken. Along with a bunch of other little kids, he's been held captive and experimented on.

When the Avengers suddenly bust the kidnapping operation, the kidnappers try at the last second to destroy their research. They gas the small room where the kids are being held.

It's Iron Man who ends up blasting through. What he finds is horrifying. All but one of the children are dead.

The one who's left is just sitting among the bodies, crying, shocked, terrified. Iron Man carries him out of there, then once they're safe from the gas Tony steps out of the suit to comfort the kid while he's given oxygen.

Little 5-year-old Peter Parker imprints on his savior hard.

He just went through an unimaginable amount of trauma, then Iron Man burst through like an avenging angel. This is the first time he's ever felt protected in his memory. Tony holds the crying kid, and the kid can tolerate no one else near him.

This becomes a slight problem when they get back to base. But Tony can't find it in him to let SHIELD take the kid away, let them strip him of this one tiny bit of comfort. He keeps seeing all those other kids when he closes his eyes.

This one needs him right now. And if "right now" eventually becomes "this is my son," well. Who could've predicted that.

[relaxxattack]

rereading the hivebent commentary makes me so annoyed that people are never really willing to analyze the actual effects that alternian culture clearly had on every troll, especially the highbloods. pretty much the only troll who ever actually gets taken in the context of her upbringing is vriska.

no one ever seems willing to think about the character arcs of trolls like equius and terezi, who are also bluebloods with extremely hypocritical and toxic understandings of the people around them-- equius is boiled down to a gross creep who is just like that naturally and definitely didn't get it from his society in any way, whilst terezi is scrubbed of virtually all her flaws and turned into a strange sort of woke love interest character who is all about being gay and too cool to be tricked by any of the alternian propaganda. quadrants? classism? how silly! terezi would never believe in stupid shit like that. she's quirky! and GAY!

despite the fact that equius and terezi both obviously have much, much more to their personalities than that-- and the alternian empire is informing way more dangerous things about these kid's beliefs than "you can kiss your enemies".

[manchestereyes]

I had kinda dipped out of the phandom during the was era (sorry) so I would to hear how that era led to them being so connected in this one

oh that is so valid, friend! 🧡 i kinda did too since it was announced right when i got my first full time job and suddenly i didn't have time to engage with phandom stuff anymore 😭 but things are a lot chiller now, so let's dive in! (under the cut because this is gonna be loooong--dnp please do not read if you happen to stumble across this!)

i think to get a full perspective on this journey, we really need to look at the full history of dan and phil. how they forged such a deep connection in 2009 and did whatever they could to be together. how they were blowing up more and more in the early 2010s and seeing more opportunities come from this youtube business. and how one youtube glitch could've ruined those opportunities forever.

i'm sure we all know by now how big of a deal the vday video was but if you don't... it was a huge deal. suddenly this very private piece of their lives was out in the open, long before either of them were ready to publicly address it. and it changed everything. yes, their love story was basically documented already, but they never expected those posts would be seen by millions of people one day, potentially even by people who could give them jobs. so they shut down. they insisted they were separate people and made completely different videos while also showing us the family sized box of shreddies they'd bought for the two of them.

and this is where wad comes in. yes i know i'm jumping really far into the future here, but hear me out--in a way, i believe wad is directly connected to everything that went down in 2012. see, phil's told us that he's always been happy doing amazingphil and dan and phil things. but dan's different.

SPECULATION TIME -- IF YOU ARE DAN AND PHIL, PLEASE CLICK AWAY NOW. THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING.

dan grew up desperate for validation from parents who never had time for him and from peers who constantly bullied him. he's always had a voice in the back of his head telling him he's not good enough, and even when phil tells him his videos are great, he still wants them to appeal to all the people who dismissed him growing up. he wants to be his full self, yet he's also terrified of acknowledging that he could be the very thing he was tormented for. meanwhile, phil (as far as i can tell) had that validation growing up. his parents were older and had more money and therefore, more energy to devote to phil and martyn. phil's always been super close with his whole family, whereas dan (from what we know) has only ever been close with his nana and popsie, and now with his mum too. phil had a whole group of friends growing up, whereas dan flitted from group to group, never quite fitting in, and even had no friends for a while. this is why he developed the cynical, sarcastic persona he's worn for so long. it was his battle armor. every time he'd shown his real self growing up, he'd been rejected. but once he saw how lovely we all are, that battle armor was quickly becoming restricting. but he'd spent so long wearing it that now dan didn't know who he was now.

so we got the hiatus, while dan worked out who he was and how he wanted to present himself and threw himself into different projects that did and didn't see the light (rip dinok our strongest soldier 💔)--one of those projects being wad. suddenly dan, theatre kid extraordinaire, who'd spent two tours working with his favorite person onstage, was now facing the prospect of carrying an entire stage show on his own. on one hand, that was terrifying as fuck, but on the other, it was a culmination of all the work dan had done on himself. and he did it. he spent months physically apart from phil only to find that we loved him for who he is. and that was deeply healing for him.

however, being apart for several months was SO hard on him and phil. phil said he was having a lot of trouble with his migraines around that time and i have to wonder if that could have partly been from the stress of not having dan around for long periods of time. and we know dan had plenty of crises on the road that he frantically texted phil about--enough to have him credited as "remote crisis manager" in the wad recording. and that's the thing, isn't it? i think dan especially needed that time apart to realize that he and phil are truly magical together. and with all the pressure he puts on himself for solo content, he knew it would take a herculean effort to put anything out on his main channel. but phil's been working with a really cool editor for his main channel. and the gaming channel has never had that content threshold.

so they finally both dropped the masks (for the most part) and dove into this new version of dan and phil that emphasizes their connection. because it's okay for them to be this close now. they've already worked with some hugely powerful people (and been accepted by their families) and now all they need is us. and we've not only accepted them for it, we've celebrated it--all the way to the finals of the rpf tourney. and i think that acceptance means more to dnp than we will ever know.

tl;dr: dan and phil had to be apart for a while to see just how much they needed each other. and now that they've experienced that, they know they can never let each other go--and that their connection is just as special to us as it is to them, so there's no harm in showing it off every chance they get.

[anghraine]

Just thinking about how, when my favorite show—Showtime's The Borgias—aired in 2011, it was 519 years after the RL version of the events in the first episodes (i.e. since 1492). To compare, the accession of the Holy Roman Emperor Otto II (husband of the Byzantine princess Theophanu), and likely the birth of Murasaki Shikibu (author of The Tale of Genji) were as far removed from the real Borgias' lives in 1492 as The Borgias is from the historical events inspiring its premiere.

[selunesfavouriteprincess]

i know there’s a lot of delicious angst that people really like romancing Neve as a Rook who saved Treviso, but to me there’s something so chef’s kiss about a non-SD Rook who not only saved Minrathous, but a Rook who let an entire other city get blighted because Neve asked them for help. I love a Rook who is as dangerously devoted to Neve as she is to them, who throws themself into the line of fire as much as she does, who would put Neve’s life over anybody else’s. and the angst that causes as well - when Rook puts Bellara’s life on the line to dissemble the wards because putting Neve at risk simply isn’t an option and Neve is angry, because who is Rook to decide what risks Neve can and can’t take? to value her life more than Bellara’s? and yet Rook couldn’t do anything else, couldn’t bear to even consider losing Neve - Rook promised they’d be by Neve’s side forever, and they’d let half the world be destroyed before they broke that promise

[cursed-spirit-manipulation]

jjk is about a lot of things but most of all with regard to Shoko Satoru and Suguru it's about how if you don't interact with people who aren't in your weird fucked up school with like 10 ppl total on a regular basis you WILL become an incredibly interesting adult in a way that makes people pity you

[cosmicsproutcake]

Do you think the reason for Brotherhood's popularity level is partially to blame for the original FMA anime having such deep connection and lust between the Elric brothers?

I don't know if either series' popularity was overly impacted by 03's seemingly unintentional queer baiting.

03 is kinda just Like That™, because it focused pretty heavily on character relations more than anything in that version, which, fortunately or unfortunately depending on how you wanna look at it, tended to err a bit on the homoerotic side in areas (the Conqueror of Shamballa movie in particular is an Experience), but I don't think that they meant it like that.

[thr4shit]

No one:

Masacrik: why are some of the yan posts a bit relatable. no, no shush brain. shush.

[adversary-to-inamorato]

For the Needy Streamer Four-verload AU

TW: Suicide

Where SMG4 does a farewell stream as a result of reaching a month of content creation.

But the followers count doesn't even reach half of his goal. Puzzles sees the star in front of him shine bright before it dies.

Based on the Ending "There Are No Angels" from NSO

[rotzaprachim]

realisation that lenú and lila l’amica geniale are the equal and opposite reaction to tenoch and Julio y tu mamá también

[dykeofmisfortune]

trying to explain to people that when i say i'm "vaguely aromantic" i mean that aromanticism is a spectrum and i can, and have, fallen in love and experienced love in the context of dating BUT that i think that what we consider "romance" and the connotations of that idea are such a social construct that it's sorta hard to grasp onto all of it. like love is a real thing but then romance is a pattern of social rituals to express that love according to a script of behaviors, speech, and action... like the concept of dates and kissing and handholding and rituals like asking someone out and all the little "signs" of romance are all just various human actions that are ascribed romantic meaning... I MEAN LIKE okay for example in a standard 2000s buddy comedy movie with 2 male actors, when they do romantic Actions like accidental cuddling or holding hands or breaking up or confessing commitment or taking care of a child that's able to be played as a joke because the joke rests in the assumption that there is no romantic feelings between them, yet they act in a romantic manner. but a shift in intention (e.g. from heteronormative buddy comedy to gay satire comedy) and then you have Romance. it's just. love exists but romance is a social construct. and idk i feel like for me it's sooooo confusing to separate between platonic and romantic love because at the end of the day it's all love and sometimes i do wanna kiss the homies goodnight actually. does that even make sense.

[brimay]

Lord tell me why I'm thinking about companion pieces for Our Little Fires...

[byanyan]

noticing a trend wherein byan is fiercely independent, but once they get close enough with someone, they sometimes lowkey end up a little codependent? not in an incredibly severe way, but also like. obviously not super healthy, either. and i'm not talking specifically romantic relationships, i'm talking platonic ones too. something about them being so deprived of acceptance and love and trusting relationships means they lean harder than they mean to into another person when they finally do fully extend their trust to them, and i think subconsciously that's probably part of why they're so afraid to rely on anyone. —not the only reason, of course, given their mountain of trust and abandonment issues, but i do think part of them recognizes this tendency they have and the potential for them to be hurt by it.