#and i'm wrong about tori actually

[enchanted-lightning-aes]

I suppose the world isn't ready for my asinine take that Barbie: The Princess and the Popstar is miles better than any of the remakes Dis/ney tries doing. 😶

Bc it's more authentic and doesn't rely heavily on any movie prior to it.

[transrevolutions]

okay hear me out. what if 'trevor herbert' is jonah magnus. what then.

all the tmagp-versions of tma characters we've seen can honestly, in my opinion, be feasible variations of their tma selves. yes, even gerry. he seems very different, but iirc in a qna it was stated that gerry's the sort of person who genuinely does believe in goodness and the like, it just got stamped out of him by growing up with mary and the fears. so in a universe where that wasn't the case, I can totally see him being cheerful and friendly.

trevor, on the other hand, feels fundamentally wrong. especially given his profession. all the tmagp-tma crossover characters (that we've met! I'm not counting the maybe-jon and maybe-martin because we don't even know if they're the same people!) have jobs that align with their tma selves. basira goes from being a cop to being a school administrator- both positions of authority/control. helen is still a swanky tory real estate agent. gerry is an artist, and it's mentioned he painted in tma as well. georgie does a podcast. gertrude has a mysterious past, and it's implied she was connected to the institute at some point.

but trevor goes from being a homeless monster hunter to.... a member of parliment who drives a bentley? there's no connection there. and he doesn't act like tma trevor in any way either! there's no dedication to hunting about him, even in the metaphorical sense. if anything, he "prefers a hands-off approach" as of episode 30. trevor herbert in tma was the polar opposite of that, one of the most 'hands on' characters in the series. but who else has a penchant for watching without interfering until something actually threatens his vision?

would it be too much of a stretch to posit that jonah, weakened from his institute's destruction, ends up posessing the first body he can get his hands on, steering this new alter ego towards a government position of authority, then to monitoring the OIAR, so similar yet so different from the institute he failed to preserve? what if, when he says gwendolyn bouchard has "quality", he's not just talking about her heritage? what if he's starting to look for his next mark?

anyways, I found an interesting little detail while rereading some transcripts. in the magnus protocol, the first mention of both (presumably) jonah magnus and trevor herbert, MP is in episode 27: driven. before that, they were not named, and trevor was referred to just as "the minister".

now that's a fun little coincidence as it is, but if we return to tma, we notice that trevor's first statement is in episode 10: vampire killer. and elias/jonah's first actual appearance (outside of jon referencing that he's his boss) is in episode 17: the boneturner's tale. 10 + 17 = 27.

WHICH COULD MEAN NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[angelfrombeneth]

MESSY - M . RIDDLE

Mature and Possibly Triggering Content Ahead

Mattheo Riddle x F!Reader

Summary: You and your bestfriend of 13 years have a bit of a spat, that turns into her being a shit friend. So you also return the favour.

Warnings: SMUT, Implied Cheating, Slight mention of violence, Your bestfriend is a shitty friend, You do something shitty, Dom!Mattheo, Sub!Reader, Not been proofread - expect slightly grammar errors.

A/N: Thought I'd switch it up with Theo and do a Mattheo short. This is just a random draft. It's not one of my best works but I wanted to put something out cuz it had been a while. I've been super busy w my studies so I haven't had time to finish my other fics or any asks. So please accept this for now 🫶

"Hey Erica!" You smiled as you skipped up to your friend. Erica had been your best friend for 13 years. Your mother's were best friends before your mum passed, you grew up together and stuck by eachother no matter what. Even when you both got sorted into two different houses; she got Slytherin and you got Hufflepuff. Despite all odds, you both at in 6th year still going strong.

Erica turned to look at you, her eyebrow quirked. "What?"

You stood before her, confused with her attitude. "I thought we could go hangout in the pavilion together?"

She turned to her group of Slytherin friends and snickered slightly, bidding them goodbye before looking at you. "Sure, Where's Cedric?" You looked at her weirdly while you both walked towards the pavilion.

"I'm not sure, why'd you ask?"

"No reason, just suprised your both always at eachothers hip, it's weird he's not"

"Your right.. I should ask him-"

"No!" She cut you off. "Its ok, ill ask him for you, maybe he won't tell you the real reason"

"Thanks Erica" You smiled. The pair of you sat in the pavilion and gossiped about many different things.

You spotted Pansy across the pavilion waving you over to her and her friends. "Hey, I'm going to see Pansy, ill see you later?" You stand.

"Her? You're friends with her" Erica scoffed, her arms crossed over her chest.

"Whats wrong with Pansy?"

"Everything, she's just a fucking whore. All those guys she's friends with she probably sleeps with them all she's a wh-"

"Erica stop it. I don't know what your deal is... Pansy is nice to me ok? Just drop it" You looked at her weirdly from her behaviour.

"Your right, I'm sorry. I'll go speak to Cedric now for you" She smiled before rushing off.

You shrugged it off and walked over to Pansy smiling.

"Y/N!" She cheered as you sat down next to her. "We were just talking about how cute you and Cedric are, 3 months now right?" Pansy smiled at you.

"Yeah, it's going great, im really happy actually"

"Thats so good, Although we always thought you'd end up with a Slytherin boy" Astoria snickered.

"Really? Who, I don't even really talk to many of the guys" You quirked.

"Probably Theo, he's the gentleman out of them all, the best choice other than my Blaise" Daphne smiled.

You smiled at her, Her and Blaise had been together since 2nd year. They were like the powerhouse couple of Hogwarts, perfect in every way.

"Pans, did you and Erica have an argument she seems to have a strong.. hatred for you" You looked to the girl beside you.

Pansy looked up at Daphne and Astoria and laughed slightly before taking your hand. "I never did anything to her, she's just jealous I'm friends with the guys. She keeps implying I'm 'fucking them all' but I'm literally gay" Pansy snickered.

"Thats literally what I thought, I thought everyone knew?"

"Everyone does, Erica is just fucking stupid" Tori scoffed, crossing her legs over eachother.

"Tori-" Daphne glared to her.

"Besides its because her and Mattheo have this thing or whatever, and me and him are close" She shrugged.

"Mattheo? As in Mattheo Riddle?" You raised your eyebrow.

"Yeah- Why?" They all looked at you weirdly.

"Isn't his dad like.. You-know-who?" You whispered.

They all laughed at you softly. Pansy patting you on the back.

"You're so sweet and innocent" Astoria cooed.

A loud bell chimed around the whole castle you all stood up.

"Fuck, I have potions" Astoria groaned.

"You'll live" Daphne laughed at her.

"See you around Y/N!" She smiled to you as you all parted ways.

You sighed as you walked into the castle.

Over the next few weeks you hung out more with Pansy, Daphne and Astoria. Everytime you'd hang out with Erica she'd ice you out or something. You also notice Cedric just get more and more bored with your presence which just didn't make you feel any better. You had wondered what Erica and Mattheo were considering she never once mentioned him to you. At all.

You sighed, as you stared down at your tea leaves, poking at them with your wand.

You felt a gush of wind beside you as someone sat in the always vacant seat.

"I know this seat isn't taken, so I will be sitting here" You heard. You looked up to see Mattheo, smiling down at you.

"I take notice when my favourite girls start hanging out with another person, which means you must be a goodie" He smiled at you. "Y/N, right?"

You nodded smiling. "I didn't realise you all were so close"

"We are like a second family, since our actual ones are pretty shitty" He snickered.

Over the following weeks you had grown close to all the Slytherins, hanging our with them all. Occasionally Cedric would come over but he wasn't that interested which just irked you. He had apologised for his lack of presence that made you feel a bit better.

You and Mattheo had become quite close, to him he was quite fond of you. Found you very cute. Erica didn't like your friendship with Mattheo all of a sudden and this was the brunt of most of your arguments. You always apologised then backed away from the group for a day or so, but it was just like a forever cycle.

You had discovered, Mattheo and Erica were dating but you were confused as to why she hadn't told you but you didn't want to take it to heart, there must've been a reason.

After class, you walked down the halls, students rushing quickly to make it to their next class, as you walked down towards the Hufflepuff entrance you noticed all the Slytherin boys all hanging in the kitchen.

"Feeding time at the zoo again?" You snickered. The boys all turned staring at you like deers caught in headlights. This wasn't the first time you'd come across them in the kitchen. You had grown close with the Slytherin boys recently, but you had grown to know them more for you sort exchanges everytime you see them feasting away.

"Fuck- Y/N you scared us. I thought you were a fucking teacher" Blaise sighed.

"Why are you guys always here on my free" You quirked your brow.

"We just wanna see you so bad!" Enzo whined as you chuckled.

"Where you off to in a rush anyway" Draco licked his finger from the pie covering it.

"M' meeting Cedric in the common room. I'll see you guys later" You smiled to them before walking a bit away from the kitchen and entering the Hufflepuff commonroom.

If you could go back to 2 minutes ago when you were laughing at the boys stuffing their face with pie. You would.

As you rounded the corner towards the opening of the commonroom to froze, hearing giggles and.. moaning? What freak would fuck in the common room, you scoffed. What you didn't expect was who. You decided to just ignore the sounds and quickly pass up to Cedrics dorm when you caught a glimpse of an oh so familiar green gem clawclip thrown across the floor.

"Erica?" You raised your eyebrow as you stared at the couch.

You watched as Erica sat up, disheaved hair and messy makeup before the other person sat up to. That person being... Cedric.

"Cedric- Erica what the fuck??" You shouted at them both.

"Y/N- He threw himself at me, I swear. We were just talming and-" She gasped, standing up and changing herself.

"What No??- It's not what it looks like- She"

"SHUT UP!" you screamed. "I'm not going to sit here and listen to your stupid excuses. You didn't slip and fall into her Cedric be fucking for real" You scoffed at him, storming up to him and slapping him across the face. Your voice cracked as you yelled and turned on your heels and ran from the common room.

"Y/N WAIT!-" Cedric yelled.

As you rounded the last bend the last thing you heard- "Wellthat was easy, see you later Cedric" Erica cackled.

You thought she was your friend, best friend forever. She was a fucking liar. A disgusting whorey liar. You sobbed as you ran from the commonroom towards the stairs. You ran past the kitchen, the slytherin boys noticing you running. You didn't stop, you had to go to Pansy. You knew she had a free and she was in her dorm. So you ran there.

Third POV:

"Was that Y/N?" Enzo poked his head out of the kitchen confused by your rushed nature.

"She was crying- I hope she's OK.." Theo hit his lip slightly nervous for you.

"She's fine, probably stubbed her toe or something" Draco snickered.

Mattheo and the boys decided to ignore the fact Y/N ran past crying and it probably wasn't any of your issues. That was until he noticed two people sneak past the kitchen.

"Who was that?" Enzo questioned.

"No clue" Mattheo shrugged.

Your POV:

The next few days you spend sobbing and skipping classes. Astoria, Pansy and Daphne took turns looking after you as you wailed in their arms. Not only had your friend relationship fucked up. He cheated on you and with your 'best friend'.

When you told the girls they were pissed. You practically had to talk Astoria out of certain violent consequences. They stayed with you and comforted you for ages. The first few days were crucial.

You had recieved owls from Erica, explanation in her own fucked up words how the situation wasn't at all what she thought it was and how it was just a huge misunderstanding. You couldn't help but scoff at her bullshit.

Three weeks had passed since everything you left Pansys after a few days and stayed boarded up in your room for an additional 2 weeks. No one came in and no one came out. The girls were concerned for you but understood you needed time.

News travelled that you and Cedric broke up but nothing about Erica being a home wrecker. When you finally left your pit after nearly 4 weeks you had seen significant changes. You were quite pale due to lack of sun and nutrients - you didn't look sick you just looked tired. People noticed and just felt.. bad for you. What really set you over the edge is in these 4 weeks not only had Erica homewrecked your relationship- she had clung to the people you had become to get comfortable with.

This was the second time Erica had done this to you. In 3rd Year you had started dated Adrian Pucey when she swooped in and was making out with him. She had told you he threw himself at her and she was so sorry she didn't mean to hurt you and you fucking believed her. Now this was just proof she was a bitch and she expected you to just forgive her which is what you'd do, but you had to come up with a plan.

You walked down towards the Slytherin common room, and up towards Erica's dorm. Erica only had one other dormmate but she was in the hospital wing currently due to a mishap in potions.

You knocked on the door and the door swung open to reveal Erica. A sickening smile spread across her lips as she let you in.

"Oh Y/N- I'm so glad your here. I need to explain everything to you" She wore a fake pout as she hugged you before pulling away.

She was rushing around her room fixing her hair and doing her makeup as she spoke to you. You sat on her bed.

"I was talking to Cedric, about what I said when he threatened me. He was saying about how he'd hurt you and how he'd do horrible things to you if I didn't sleep with him Y/N"

Really. Does she really think you'd believe this. You had to try your best not to laugh.

"Erica that is so horrible- I know you didn't mean to- You'd never do anything to hurt me" You smiled.

"Exactly!" She turned to look at you smiling. "He was a terrible boyfriend Y/N you can do so much better- Look stay here. I'll be back, I have to go see Mattheo in the hospital wing but I'll be back soon. Then we can have a girlie night" She smiled again. That fame smile was irking you.

"Of course" You smiled as she rushed out of the door leaving you. How stupid was she to think you'd believe her bullshit lies. You peered around the room, groaning. Why did she get to keep a boyfriend after all of this.

Speak of the devil, the door swung open to reveal Mattheo, leaning against the door frame as he quizzically looked at you.

"Y/N? Where'd Erica?" He asked.

"Mattheo? She said she went to the hospital wing for you-"

Mattheo rolled his eyes scoffing. "I came here to break up with that cheating slut and she's gone to cheat. How ironic" He laughed, venom lacing his tone. "I know your friends but seriously you can do b-"

"Actually we aren't friends" You cut him off. "I was here to listen to her bullshit excuses on why she fucked my boyfriend" You scoffed.

"Cedric too?" Mattheo scoffed. "I don't get it, I was actually a good boyfriend to her, for once I wasn't the asshole" He laughed mockingly.

Mattheo sat next to you on Erica's bed as the pair of you sighed. It was quite for a moment before you spoke.

"Maybe she needs a taste of her own medicine.." You peered to Mattheo, who was now smirking.

"A dark streak for a little hufflepuff like you? Do go on" He bit his lip as he stared down at you. Now you look at it, Mattheo was twice the size of you.

"Maybe we could.. you know" You looked down.

"I'm a changed man Y/N- but fuck, my old ways would always come back for you" He smirked, referring to his last two years of THE player and heartbreaker of Hogwarts.

Before you could reply you heard a soft chuckle before Mattheo's hands are instantly all over you. He kisses you softly but needingly. The way his lips move against yours as his hands grab at the plush of your thigh.

You could almost laugh at his neediness but it turned you on even more. You climbed onto his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck as you pull him closer, needing more. Your tongues dancing upon eachother as you grinded down against his growing bulge. The softly moans he'd release into your mouth were enough to have you moaning.

You broke away shortly as the pair of you quickly stripped down to your underwear. You stood up, throwing your jumper and shirt off as you shimmied out of your skirt. Mattheo kicked off his trousers, throwing his jumper and shirt across the room just in time to catch you as he jumped onto him again. A light chuckle leaving his mouth as the pair of you sat pratically skin to skin.

"God you are so fucking hot" He smirked, biting his lip as you sat back down on his lap, as he sat at the end of the bed.

He watched as you, pulled your panties off, dropping them beside the end of the bed as you yanked at his boxers. Smirking as his cock sprung out and hit his stomach.

"So big, and you were all hers?" You smirked, pecking his lips softly as you pulled yourself closer, instantly sinking down on his length as you yelped at the size. His grip, harsh on you as his fingers dug into your hips,his eyes slightly rolling at the sensation.

"Fuck-" You sighed out as you wiggled down on him, reaching back to unclasp your bra and tossing it aside, before pulling him closer and smashing your lips onto his yet against as you grinded down against him.

You gasped, as he gripped your waist, thrusting up into you as he sat on the edge of the bed. "Dont be a bitch Y/N" He smirked against your mouth as your tongues tied to one another as your hands roamed all over. His hands reached to your ass, squeezing, gripping and slapping the flesh as much as he could as your hips buckled against his, his cock burying itself deeper inside of you.

"mm.. J-just like that" You sighed, reading your head against his shoulder as you rocked your hips back and forth against his, sighing at the sensation.

He couldn't handle it much longer as he threw you down against the bed, giving you time to get on all fours as he kicked off his boxers as he gripped your hips and began to piston into you. Your back arched as you gripped the sheets, your teeth sunk into the duvet as you whined into the cotton. You could practically hear his filthy smirk as you whined. His hands aggressively gripping at your love handles as he bounced against you, pulling you back harshly with each thrusted rebound. The way your skin slapped loudly against his as it collided. The way your ass, bounced against his thrusts sent him over the edge.

With each thrust, his hand would grasp at the flesh of your ass, squeezing it or slapping it as you whined down into the mattress. A filthy smirk spread across his face.

"Oh fuck!-" You gasped as you whined, eyes rolling back slightly as you gripped at the sheets.

"Good girl- Good fucking girl.. Taking it so well" He growled from behind. His voice just made you even wetter, the whole situation had your stomach in knots.

He continued on your ass as you gasped for air, his hand yanking at your hair, collecting it into a messy ponytail as he yanked you up and back against his chest. His free arm snaked around your waist, pushed down against your lower stomach, intensifying each thrust as you could feel the pressure of his arm. You whined out loudly, gasping at the sensation as he took the chance to let go of your hair and wrap a hand around your neck.

You gazed to the side to look at Mattheo, as he smirked, before kissing you roughly. His tongue instantly sliding into your mouth as you sighed into the kiss. Toying with his tongue as his cock made at home inside your walls. The way he thrusted in and out like he owned it had you on the edge.

You broke away momentary, gasping for air as he pulled away completely. The emptiness between your legs prominent as you whined, falling forward but catching yourself, moving to lay on your back against the bed, looking up at him.

"Miss me already" He laughed, sweat dripping down his body as he stared at you smirking, as he climbed ontop of you, kissing down your neck, sucking softly at the skin.

"Fuck- How can I not, when you look like that" You chuckled, running your hands up and down his naked body. You couldn't help but let your hand linger over his stomach, as your fingers dipped between the crevasses of his chiselled chest.

"You're bad, fucking your bestfriends boyfriend" He smirked, biting his lip as he hovered over the top of you, his hand pumping his cock as he stared down at you.

"She did it first, I'm just returning the favour" You smirked, pulling his neck as you pulled him into a kiss. You could feel Mattheo smirked against you as he lined up yet against to thrusts into you. His forehead against yours as he smirked down at you.

"You are so cute, shame it took this to see your dark side" He laughed as his thumb caressed your cheek softly, pecking your lips as he slowly slid back into you. You gasped, arching your back, as your chest pressed up against his as your body shook below him.

"God, I fucking love how you just melt at my fucking touch. So slutty" He laughed lowly in your ear, as he nibbled on the shell of it before biting at your shoulder and sucking on it as he began to thrust.

As he began the thrust at first they were soft, his lips peppering kisses all down your neck and collarbone as you whined softly under his touch. You watched as he licked the bruises that had formed across your skin as he smirked down at you. His smirk was sickening. Sickeningly sweet.

His cock sunk in and out of you like it was moulded for you. The way you whined and moaned into his ear had him harder than ever. He was obsessed with you and the pretty little sounds you made.

As he fucked you, he tossed your leg over his shoulder as he continued to fuck you at such an animalistic pace you were unsure if you'd make out of this in one piece. Your stomach, knotted at the pleasure. You hummed and whined as his cock thrashed in and out of you as he whined.

His lips capturing yours once against for a kiss, yet this time deeper. His lips moved so sensually against yours, as he kissed you with such passion. His hand, clasped around your neck as his tongue slid in and out of your mouth as the pair of you hummed. It was like time stopped and it was just you. You had never been fucked this good before, but thanks to Mattheo you now had.

You continued to whined with each thrust, gasping as you gripped at his hair, tugging on it. Mattheo's slight chuckles at every whine that left your mouth sent you spiraling.

As he kissed your deeper and fucked you harder you heard as scream, causing you both to pull away from the kiss. But that didn't stop Mattheo from railing the fuck out of you still. The pair of you looked over his shoulder to see Erica stood in the doorway. On urge you went to pull away from Mattheo in embarrassment but he held you down, smirking back at you as he sped up causing you to arch your back, screaming.

"Mhm- Fuck.. Your dick is so perfect" You whined as your gaze slightly lingering on Erica as the pair of you made eyecontact before you arched your back, leaning back and gripping the headboard. as he fucked you into the mattress. Your body recoiling against the thrusts as the bed creaked and shook.

The two of you edging closer to your high before you both case against one another. You pulled him closer as you kissed him deeply. Moaning softly into his mouth as you creamed his cock. Sighing softly as your body slowly loosened up.

Mattheo pulled away, smirking as he licked his lips. The pair of you had forget Erica was in the room and could more than happy stay like this until you heard a shrill shriek. "WHAT THE FUCK!" She yelled.

The pair of you untied from one another as you sighed, standing up and pulling your clothes back on, as Erica stood in shock at the two of you.

As you buttoned your shirt, you threw your jumper of your shoulders as you grabbed your heels before walking around Erica. "Just returning the favour" You smiled at her wholeheartedly. "Have fun cleaning" You turned to Mattheo before you left, shooting him a wink as he still led against the bed, bare naked.

"You- WHAT??" You could hear the cogs turning in Erica's head as you felt the scene before hearing crashing and screaming. Now she knows how you felt I guess, and well.

She deserved it.

If you enjoyed this fic and want to buy me a coffee, you can do so here!

[lesamis]

1810s dashboard but it's niche drama

💛 heartofanna Following

imagine cancelling someone for saying war is bad

🧵 sharethewoe Follow

#didn't expect better from w*rdsworth but some people i rly thought i could count on…… #anyway we will live to see this empire fall. can't stop history lol (via @heartofanna)

speaking as someone who was press ganged at the age of 17 to serve in his majesty's royal navy i couldn't be more grateful for your poem. young men like me are cannon fodder and you spoke for so many of us. fuck napoleon but fuck parliament even more.

86 notes

chatterpwned-deactivated78345629743

stable forgiving virtuous flourishing in my lane definitely not buying poison moisturized unbothered never been better

chatterpwned-deactivated78345629743

me when i lie

179302 notes

🏛 mynoseisfine Follow

Settling this once and for all. What does the public actually think about the Parthenon marbles debate:

🦉 realminerva Follow

lol i know it’s you lord elgin

🦉 realminerva Follow

like we joke and all but fully aside from the fact that removing the sculptures from greek soil was vulturine and opportunistic etc, it’s really just the tip of a frankly gigantic mountain of imperialist bullshit. let’s not pretend we haven’t been brutally killing hundreds who resisted oppression in india, LITERALLY BOMBED A NEUTRAL EUROPEAN CAPITAL, and embarrassed ourselves in the charge against napoleon for years now. pathetic ass empire & evil as hell to boot. @mynoseisfine the greeks who carved your marbles millennia ago would kick your tory ass so hard

3661 notes

🎀 emmawoodhousestan Follow

how do i still keep seeing thomas chatterton's final post being reblogged, wtf is wrong with you freaks??? he was seventeen it was tragic and horrible and happened ages ago. he was a kid just let him rest

294 notes

🍎 masque-off Following

callout post for @castleyeah @lordsidmouth @officialcoe @parliamentofficial: they oppress, murder and famish the british working people & also suck majorly

⛪ castleyeah Follow

sour cuz you’re unfit to have custody of your own kids huh

🍎 masque-off Following

proud to be the dad of a newborn who could already rend your pudding spine asunder with a mere glance

187 notes

🦆 mallardturner Following

finished this today 😊

44 notes

😎 chadeharold Follow

why is it always “you’re risking your life and legacy & will get yourself killed before the age of five and twenty” and never how was swimming the hellespont the hellespont looked fun was it fun

🎭 loved-joanna Mutuals

ohhh my god you swam the hellespont five years ago?? wooow should we tell everyone?? should we throw a party?? should we invite famous hero of greek myth leander who swam the hellespont

😎 chadeharold Follow

@loved-joanna look we never had any beef & don’t have to start this now. it’s cool that you’re sticking up for my ex, you guys were friends first, but just know that i’ve always trusted your opinion on my work & genuinely respect and admire you & would still be up for a collab whenever.

🎭 loved-joanna Mutuals

yea sure why don’t your lips collab with my ass

😎 chadeharold Follow

on it boss

1009 notes

#literally call me. down if you are

🍂 endymion Follow

sorry is it me or is the assassin who stabbed german bootleg wordsworth kinda…… 🥵

💄 biprincesscharlotte Mutuals

JOHN KEATS????????

2427 notes

#i'm p sure this is the author of lamia thirstposting on main??? help

🌾 huntsmanx Follow

romanticism this romanticism that why don’t you romanticise universal suffrage and rights for labouring people

🌾 huntsmanx Follow

anyone else in jail for seditious libel

🏹 axelaidtotheroot Mutuals

lmao i'm one of the “anyone else”s and i know you’re enjoying family visits and apparently some kind of cushy armchair situation, plus tons of books. try being in here as a spencean dude they won’t even let me learn how to write. worst of all some evangelical came by yesterday just to proselytize & put me “on the right path” fml

8341 notes

🗻 mounttambora Follow

y'all i don't feel so good :/

59 notes

[infiniteimaginings]

Hi!!! I was just wondering if you could do general dating hc with Andre or Robbie from Victorious! It's alright if you can't have a good rest of your day/night!:)<3

We look good together (Andre Harris x GN!Reader)

Summary: The students of Hollywood Arts talk about what it's like seeing you two together. Pronouns: You/Yours, They/Them Warnings: None Word Count: 2.3k A/N: I don't write head cannons! Sorry I'm just bad at them! I had an idea of how I was writing this in the beginning and then it turned into something completely different, lmao. Here's the friend group talking about how healthy the couple is lol! <33

André Harris was the guy everybody liked. He was handsome, he was kind, smart, musically talented, supportive, and one of the most laid back people at Hollywood Arts.

No one was surprised when André started dating you, it was going to happen at some point. They were mainly surprised with how the dynamics of your relationship worked.

The relationship everyone was used to, wasn’t the best example for relationships. Jade and Beck broke up multiple times and the entire school was still questioning how and why they were still together.

Regardless, everyone was rooting for you guys since your relationship seemed to be the opposite of theirs. In other words, you’re a couple that people actually enjoy inviting places.

The main group: Tori, Beck, Jade, Cat, and Robbie, (and Rex), all sat at their typical lunch table, waiting for you and Andr é.

Jade groaned, placing her hand in front of her eyes, “Why are we waiting?” She asked, face in it’s typical neutral fashion but, it was clear she disliked having to wait in order to get lunch. 

Tori scrunched her nose at Jades current discomfort, “We’re waiting for André and-” 

“Yeah, yeah, his obsession. What do they have to do with anything?”

Beck looked over to Jade and put his arm around her shoulder, “They’ve been dating for months.”

“Yeah, get over yourself.” Tori told her, moving her bag to grab her phone. She began typing out a message to André, asking when he would get there since Jade was already antsy.

Cat ran her hand through her vibrant red curls, adjusting her top. “I think it’s sweet, they look cute together.”

Jade tapped her fingers on the table, “You think everything is cute.”

The redhead simply laughed, showing her dimples as she shook her head, “You don’t think anything’s cute!” 

A voice from the end of the table spoke up, “You’re just mad that everyone likes their relationship more than yours!” 

The comment caused everyone to turn to that person and Robbie was looking down at…Rex. 

Jade smiled with closed eyes, “Shut your puppet up or I cut off all his little limbs and run his plastic head over.” She spoke, eyes widening slowly before narrowing into a nasty glare.

Robbie rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand, “He’s not really wrong, it seems like you don’t like them coming together because they get invited to more things than you.” He mumbled, cowering under the dark haired girl's gaze.

“Why would I care that they get invited to places? I barely like anyone here.” She grumbled, leaning into Beck with a roll of her eyes. “Besides, I unfortunately hang out with the same seven people everyday.”

As she said that, a voice spoke from behind them, “They get invited because they bring the energy up instead of dragging it to the dark parts of our memories that we don’t want to touch.” The voice caused everyone but Jade to jump. 

When they all turned, they were met with the oddest friend they’ve ever made at the school, Sinjin Van Cleef. They had no idea whether that was against their will and he was just around a lot, or if they knew him by choice. They never questioned it. 

Beck shook his head at the typical antics of the boy, “What do you mean?” He asked.

Sinjin lit up and moved his way in between Beck and Tori, “I am so glad you asked.” He spoke, already beginning his story, “Just last week…”

It was tech week, preparing for the next show was a usual occurrence at Hollywood Arts. What wasn’t a normal occurrence was Sinjin being the only person to work everything for a few hours since his crewmates had a project during that period. He was the only person with a free period and had to work on the tech since it was currently a disaster.

As he was trying his hardest not to get frustrated and ultimately give up, you and André walked in, smiles on your faces as you talked about anything and everything. André left his phone during practice before the bell, so you guys decided to get it during your free period instead of interrupting class.

You had continued talking to André, looking around at the lights on stage until you looked up and noticed the curly haired boy tapping on his board for some portion of the tech. You tapped on André, bringing his attention to the seemingly irritated boy.

“Hey Sinjin!” He called, grabbing the boy's attention. Sinjin took off his headphones and gave a half wave to the two, “Hey guys.” 

You waved back but, both of you could tell something was wrong. 

André walked a little closer, Sinjin leaning over the rail to keep eye contact. “What’s up man?” André asked, concern lacing his voice since he could see Sinjin's face was blotched with red, as if he was about to cry.

Sinjin sighed, rubbing his eyes and explained the situation. “The rest of the tech crew can’t come in for this period because of some project.” He began, you and your boyfriend nodding along as he spoke. “We have checks tomorrow, so I have to get all this done before the period ends or we’ll have to delay the show.” 

You hummed, “What all are you guys getting checked?”

“Mics, lighting, and the electric steps.” Sinjin answered, reminding them of the scene where the two characters run up the moving stairs, singing with each other. “Without the crew it just takes longer to hear the feedback from mics, to test the steps and see if they really work, and if the lighting hits right.”

You and André looked at each other, almost having a silent conversation before shrugging and turning back to your friend.

André put his phone back on the chair and took your hand, leading you to the stage. 

Sinjin stood to look at you guys better, “Um, what are you guys doing?”

You shook out your nerves a bit and tilted your head, “What does it look like we’re doing?”

“We’re going to help you set up for checks tomorrow.” Your boyfriend answered, walking to the table on stage with the mics. He handed you one of the mics, strapping his own on, “Do all the mics need testing?” He asked, adjusting his hair so the mic would sit comfortably. 

Sinjin sighed with a smile, relief filling him when you guys said you would help and he shook his head. “Just mics 4, 7, 19, and 23.” He informed, to which the two of you nodded. 

You put your mic on, André making sure it was on right. “So, two runs with the mics, alone. Then we could do…” You trailed off, André finishing your aloud thoughts, “A couple runs with mics and lighting, then a few with the stairs.”

And that’s exactly what the two of you did. The two of you knew the choreography since you were in the performance.

You both helped Sinjin with everything he needed and even a bit more with your personal sights, even going as far to hear from outside the door just to check the feedback. All three of you spent the free period finishing up what Sinjin needed.

Once he reached the floor where you guys were packing up, he adjusted his glasses and thanked both of you profusely.

You waved your hand, “Don’t worry about it, anything to help!”

André shook his head, “You’re our friend Sinjin, if you’re ever in that situation again just text us.”

“He’s serious, and so am I. We’ll always be free.”

 Sinjin finished the memory with a sweet smile on his face, “I have never been helped like that.” He told the group, hands clasped together. 

“That’s because you’re a borderline stalker.” Jade replied, head bobbling as a thin smile painted her face at how Sinjin's expression fell.

Beck sighed, huffing out a breath, “Stop it.” He mumbled to her and she rolled her eyes and shook her head, placing her chin into her palm.

Tori hummed a bit, “I think they’re just helpful people on their own.” She shrugged, playing with the holes in the table. “As a couple they just have a different type of…energy.” She tried to explain, which everyone understood.

Cat nodded and smiled widely, “That’s why I think they’re so cute together! I mean have you seen them when they’re near each other?” She asked, remembering each time she’s seen the two of you together.

You were practicing choreography for a project you had with two other students, in one of the empty practice rooms. André was helping with the original music aspect, and he was the only other one there since Cat and the other person in their project hadn’t arrived yet.

When Cat finally did get there, you were near the end of the choreo, and she felt terrible. She entered the room quietly, trying not to interrupt.

When you did finish the choreography, André stopped playing and turned to you with a bright grin, his eyes shining as he looked at you. You walked over to him with a matching grin and stood in between his legs, hands on his shoulders.

“That was absolutely amazing choreography.” He whispered to you, rubbing your sides.

You were breathing a bit heavy but chuckled nonetheless, “Your fantastic original song is why it feels so put together.” You whispered back, your comment causing him to laugh a bit.

The two of you stayed in that position, whispering sweet nothings to one another as you both felt the warmth from each other's hands.

André pulled you in a little closer, lifting his head up to meet your gaze in that position and you lifted one of your hands to cup his face. You leaned down and placed a small kiss to his lips, humming against them when you pulled apart.

Cat couldn’t hear it well but she was sure she heard the two of you whisper,

“I love you.”

“I love you more.”

“Impossible.”

Tori poked her bottom lip out as her eyes were wide in adoration, “That is so sweet.”

Cat pointed to her before clapping a bit, “I know! It was so cute!” She responded, smiling and shimmying her shoulders.

Robbie didn’t quite understand, and he tilted his head, “I don’t get it.” 

“Of course you don’t get it, you have no romance in your life…ever.” A ‘voice’ called from below him, belonging to Rex.

Robbie shook his head and ignored the puppet, “I mean I don’t get it, they’re supposed to like each other. So what if they do it in private?” He asked, his point getting across to all of them.

Tori tilted her own head, “It’s not just in private though. They show that kind of affection all the time and…” She paused, trying to find the right words.

Beck apparently knew the right ones as he swooped a hand through his hair, “Their affection towards one another extends to how they treat other people.” He explained with a nod of his head. “Therefore, making them an extremely likable couple.”

Jade pursed her lips, “Those are just two experiences, for all we know they probably don’t even…what is it..” She mumbled, “Communicate, or whatever.”

Tori raised her brow, pulling up her phone before showing Jade a few pictures. “They got André a custom guitar and a keyboard that his favorite artist used in concert.” She began, holding her finger up when Jade tried to speak, “And his grandma likes them.” She nodded along with her own words, dropping something everyone was surprised about.

“That doesn’t mean-”

This time, Beck actually cut in, “André pulled strings and got them as a backup dancer for their favorite singer's music video.” 

“But do they communicate? You don’t know.”

Cat pursed her lips to the side, “I’m sure they communicate if they’re still together.”

“I mean Beck and Jade are still together, so clearly communication doesn’t mean much.” A voice from Robbies direction spoke out.

This apparently brought Jade to silence as she clenched her jaw and her eye twitched. That was until she suddenly stopped and she blinked at the group with a weird look, “When did this become a share circle?”

“When did what become a share circle?” A voice asked from the side of the table.

You and André sat at the end of the table, it was a little cramped and once they all realized, the main group's eyes went straight to Sinjin. The curly haired boy stood with his mouth in a line, waving goodbye as he walked away.

André’s arm was around your waist and you were holding both of your phones. “Sorry we’re late, the teacher held us back for a minute.” You explained, André confirming with a nod of his head.

“What were you guys talking about?” André asked, raising a brow at everyone, minus Jade, smiling at them.

Tori stood up and shook her head, “Nothing.” She spoke suspiciously with a smile, everyone standing up after her, including you and André.

Jade rolled her eyes, “They were all talking about what a great couple the two of you were.” She spoke, her expression neutral.

The two of you looked at each other and then back at your friends, “What?” You asked simultaneously.

Beck walked with Jade, his arm around her shoulder still, “You two just look good together is all.” He spoke, walking past you. 

The rest of your friends agreed, beginning their walk to the restaurant you guys decided you were going to for lunch.

The two of you were a little shocked so you were stuck, hand and hand, standing in the lunch plaza of your school.

You looked at your boyfriend and shrugged, “I mean, they aren’t wrong.” 

André laughed and shook his head, “Nope, they’re not.” He hummed, walking with you to catch up with your friends. “We do look good together.”

[rekino2114]

Jjk girls (+ genderbent) struggling to open a soda can for you

A/n:I know I did a very similar prompt only 3 days ago and I'm also kinda behind with requests but this idea came to my head and I could not stop thinking about it because of how funny it was

Nobara kugisaki

"Just get yuji to open it for you"

"I'm not carrying your shopping bags anymore if you don't"

"E-eh? Why?"

"You say you love me and you can't even open a can for me?"

Nobara sighs before taking the can

"Alright, Alright, sorry"

She tries to open the lid, but nothing works. She tries a few more times, getting increasingly angry before taking one of her nails and trying to poke holes into the can

"......nobara, sorry, but won't that make the soda come out of the holes?"

"Who cares? This can is indestructible anyway"

When even that doesn't work, she just brings out her hammer to smash it, but the can still stands there like nothing happens. She still continues smashing it out of anger

"What *smash* The *smash* Heck *smash* Is *smash* this *smash* can *smash* made of!!!"

"P-please calm down babe"

Maki zenin

She sighs, seemingly annoyed, but actually kinda loves showing her strength to you.

She's kinda used to this. You and yuta often ask her for help with stuff that requires physical strength, so she thinks this is gonna be easy

......if only she knew

"Hm?"

"Something wrong maki?"

"The can, it's not opening"

"Really? Not even you can do it?"

"Wait, I'm still trying"

She's too stubborn to give up, so she tries for a lot of time before putting it back on the table angrily

"This isn't one of gojo's pranks is it?"

"No I got it from the vending machine"

Maki sighs before standing up and walking away. You think she got mad and went to train or something, but then you see her come back with her polearm and try to stab the can........it still doesn't work

"WHAT THE HECK?!"

Yuki tsukumo

"Don't worry, let your lovely special grade gf handle it"

You roll your eyes as she takes the can and tries to pop the lid off with her thumb to show off. When that doesn't work, she narrows her eyes at the can before trying again with her full strength

"*ngh* come on..... open! I need to do this for y/n"

"Y-yuki it's fine I can get another o-"

"No, no i almost got it"

When she realizes that the can is this strong, she tells you to stand back and puts the can on the table before backing off herself

"W-what are you about to do?"

"Open this goddamn can that's what"

You start sweating as you understand what she's about to do

"Star rage:jupiter"

She puts a lot of mass in her fist and tries to punch the can, which gets flung on the other side of the room, almost breaking the wall from the impact.......completely intact

"W-W-W-WHAAAAAAAAT???!!"

She might have considered using her black hole move on it before you comforted her

Genderbent characters:

Fem!gojo

She gives you a teasing smirk as you hand her the can

"What, is that can giving you too much trouble?"

"You try opening it. The lid is practically glued on"

"Whatever you say"

She takes the can and opens it without even looking at you, giving it back to you with a smug smile, expecting a kiss from you

"........tori, the can is still closed"

".........Eh?"

She actually looks at the can and sees it is indeed still open. She looks confused before trying some more times with increasing strength, when even those don't work, she's the most confused she's ever been

Her six eyes are telling her that that's just a normal can and yet she still can't open it. Her. Satori gojo, the honored one, the strongest sorcerer of today.....can't open a normal soda can

She tries everything. Pulling the lid off with blue, destroying it with red, even crushing it with infinity but nothing works....she feels like the can itself is humiliating her..... now it's personal

She tells you to stay out of the way and pulls her blindfold down, getting into position

"You want to make me look like this in front of my love? Well then, you got another thing coming"

You wonder who's she's talking to before you hear her start to chant immediately getting worried

"Nine ropes, polarized light, crow and decla-"

"WAIT, DON'T SATORI, YOU'RE GONNA DESTROY EVERYTHING!"

Fem!sukuna

"I know you're strong enough to open that, if you weren't I would have never gotten with you"

"I know, but this can is insane. It's practically indestructible"

"Hm"

Sukuna isn't one to refuse challenges, and she knows you're not lying since she saw you struggling before, so she grabs the can with one of her four arms and pulls the lid off......only to see the can is unchanged

She lets out and amused sound before trying again, even with all 4 of her arms it didn't work

"I'll admit, this is weirdly difficult, Is this some sort of new cursed object humanity created?"

".......n-no it's just a soda can"

"Well, it's still no match for me"

You saw her wave on her hands at the can

"Cleave"

Even after her cleave and a few more dismantles the can stays completely unharmed, and that's when she starts getting mad

She's the queen of curses and the strongest sorcerer in history she literally abandoned everything (except for you) to become the strongest......she CAN open a soda can

"Dear, do you mind going outside"

".......s-sure"

Even from outside, you could still hear her next words

"Domain expansion:malevolent shrine"

She kinda forgot her domain was an open barrier one and ended up destroying everything near the can.....she still didn't care as she could still see that the can didn't have a single scratch on it

She later went outside near you as your house and everything around it burned in flames

".........was using fuga too necessary"

"Yes"

Fem!toji

"You sure this ain't just a way to see me use my muscles?"

"*sighs* just do it ok?"

"Calm down, I was just joking"

She smiles and takes the soda can in your hand. Just like maki, she's used to opening stuff for you, and part of her likes it. It's a way of showing her that you like her heavenly restriction and don't judge her because of it like the rest of the jujutsu word.

She gets lost in thought and doesn't even notice that the can didn't open, but when she does, she tries even harder, but it still doesn't work. How is this possible? She opened so many food containers for megumi and tsumiki that this should be second nature

"A-are you alright? You look like you're struggling"

"Struggling, me? Nah, I'm just getting warmed up"

She's actually angry now, so she pulls out her inventory curse and grabs the inverted spear of heaven, and tries to stab the lid.. when that still doesn't work, she just goes all out and stabs the can.......to no avail

At this point, she's just frustrated and panting because how the heck is this soda can harder to deal with than gojo? She takes a break for a while and megumi walks in the room having seen all this

You let him try to open the can just for fun

"Mama, were you trying to open this?"

"Not now gumi mama's bus-.........."

Her jaw just completely dropped, seeing that her son actually opened the can

".....how the fuck?!"

"Language! Not in front of the kids!"

Fem!nanami

"Of course honey, let me handle it"

As your wife, nanami particularly enjoys helping you do stuff like this, especially since she knows she is quite strong she loves putting this quality of hers to good use for the person she loves

"Hm"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, the lid just seems really stuck there....no matter"

She goes to get a can opener from a shelf, but even that doesn't work, she tries a few more times, but nothing happens

"It's alright dear, I can get another one"

"No,no, please, I got it, It just seems I'll have to be more brute than usual"

She starts getting serious and puts her tie around her hand, making it glow with cursed energy. When she tries to open the can this way.......it still doesn't work

She even tried using her technique to make a weak spot in the can to try to yank the lid off there, but still nothing

"I am truly sorry, I thought it would have been easy, but it seems this can is really tough"

"Don't worry I couldn't do it either"

From this time on, she always checks if she can open the jars or cans you two buy just not to disappoint you like this again

Fem!yuji

"Oh, for sure, I got it"

Even before she got cursed energy, itadori (I dunno if Yuji is a gender neutral name, so I'll just call her itadori for now to be safe) has always been very physically gifted and strong, so her friends did on occasion ask her to open cans for them when they hung out, so she thought nothing if this and tried to open the can.......only for it not to move

"Eh? What's this? This is the first time I can't open a can"

She tries pulling harder, even putting a bit of cursed energy in her hands, but it still doesn't work, and she starts getting mad and embarrassed because she kinda wants to show you how strong and awesome she is

So sukuna (who is a woman also in this) tries to take advantage of that

"Oi brat, if you let me out, I can open the can for your partner"

"No way! I got it, just *breathes heavily* a few more tries"

"*sighs* whatever"

Eventually, she gets sick of it and just puts it on the table preparing a fist

"W-what are you doing?"

"Don't worry, I'll open the can for you y/n!"

She yells as you see the curses energy in her fist turn red and black

"Black flash!"

The can is on the other side of the room now but still intact, and you see your girlfriend smash her head on the table dejectedly.....you have to comfort her.

Meanwhile, sukuna in her head:

".........why does this situation feel so familiar?"

Fem!megumi

"Are you serious? You can fight curses, but you can't open a regular soda can?"

"Come on, I don't know what this can is, but it's not regular, I tried everything but it doesn't open"

"*sighs* what a waste of time"

She grabs the can and tries to open it while glaring mildly at you. Her gaze switches to the thing in her hand when, even after the third attempt, nothing happens

"See?"

".......alright, maybe you had a point"

She gets up and does the dogs hand sign

"Divine dogs"

After even the dogs can't bit through the can, she summons the toad.....then orochi... then nue....then all of her other shinigamis hoping they would do something.....nothing happened.....well she summoned everyone except for one

"Seriously? What the heck even is that thing? Are we sure it's not a cursed object"

"I dunno, that's why I asked you to open it"

"*sighs* well I still have one ace up my sleeve"

".......actually I'll let you this time, mahoraga might be needed for this"

Hearing you finally agreeing with her, megumi got into position for the ritual and started chanting

"With this treasure, I summon eight handled sword divergent silla divine general. MAHORAGA"

Megumi passed out quickly after summoning her tenth shadow, but you saw it approaching and slashing the can.....and it still wasn't broken.....

Apparently, not even mahoraga could adapt to the soda can

[mixelation]

have some reborn au. tori's second chunin exams arc

i think i've posted some of this before, and some of it i..... don't think i have? the beginning i'm like 90% sure i posted, so don't just skip the whole post if it seems familiar.

there's a [...] where there's missing scenes. also i think the reason i never posted sections of this are i didn't like certain details or wanted a few scenes to be better. however i'm in a Posting Mood

xXx

Tori was having a problem. Several problems, actually. 

“I’m not even allowed to submit a proposal without some idiot chunin co-signing,” she complained, pacing back and forth in front of Deidara. He was seated on his bed, rubbing ointment into the pink patches of his feet and legs that his medic hadn’t quite healed all the way. 

Deidara had… set a field on fire, or something, on his mission. Whatever. Kushina-sensei had gently hinted at Tori that she should go over and make sure he didn’t need help cooking or cleaning, as while Konoha hospital could fix up most things, Deidara had still landed himself three weeks leave with foot injuries. 

Obviously, Deidara had yelled at her and set a clay flea off in her face for even hinting he might need help. Convincing him to let her ladle the big pot of her mediocre curry soup she’d lugged over into his own tupperware had been a whole ordeal filled with yelling and a couple minor explosions. But once she had that out of the way and a bunch of tupperwares in his fridge, she was taking his presence in town as an excuse to rant about her own problems in her new lab assignment.

“My new supervisor wants me on dish duty,” she went on, gesturing furiously with both hands. “I know every piece of research fuinjutsu better than anyone there, and I get dish duty? I wouldn’t mind cleaning my own dishes, or if everyone was cleaning dishes, but my ideas for projects just get ignored. Who cares that I’m a genin? I have more experience than any of the chunin in that lab.”

She’d complained to higher management and attempted to get reassigned, but it seemed she was being ignored. She was afraid she’d have to go through Kushina to get facetime with the Hokage. She didn’t want to play nepotism; she wanted to earn this herself. 

Deidara looked at her like she was stupid. 

“If it’s a rank problem,” he said, “then just go get promoted to chunin, yeah.”

Tori stared back at him, flummoxed. This idea hadn’t occurred to her. She was quite confident she could handle any task any chunin might encounter in a lab. She was reasonably certain she could perform better than some of the jounin in a lab, even, especially if she got to head her own projects in her own specialties. But… chunin were meant to lead missions. They had to be able to fight things, had to know some set number of jutsu, had to have all the rules and ordinances memorized. 

“Do you think I’m qualified?” Tori wondered out loud. 

She really only had a grab bag of jutsu under her belt, the product of only bothering to learn things that interested her. Her combat skills mostly revolved around hitting things with a stick, or irreversibly destroying flesh in an extremely slipshod way. It seemed like a vast overestimation that she might be qualified for a promotion. 

Deidara managed to look even more unimpressed with her. 

“What the hell do you think chunin are?” he asked. 

“Squadron leaders?” Tori tried. 

“Not the baby ones,” Deidara told her. “Anyone with two brain cells to rub together can make chunin. The only reason you’re not already promoted is that Iwa is filled with assholes, yeah.”

This seemed… wrong, somehow. She’d mostly just gotten as far as she did in the Iwa exam by relying on others. But, maybe, she could swing an internal promotion? 

Tori went and looked up the official minimum qualifications for chunin promotion. She did qualify, it seemed. Apparently you only needed the Academy three ninjutsu to make chunin, although more were recommended. And maybe she should review all these rules and internal structures she was supposed to know… 

The minimum mission requirement was also only one C-rank, which seemed too low. It also seemed like her various higher ranking missions maybe shouldn’t count. The Iwa fiasco had mostly just been her playing side-kick, up until she basically just lied through her teeth for a very stressful few hours. The Sasori fiasco wasn’t exactly a shining moment for her either. It all really depended on her being on a team with a bunch of monsters rather than her own talents, honestly. 

Oh well. It wouldn’t hurt to try, she supposed. It wasn’t like the Hokage’s office didn’t know exactly who she was and the details of her on-paper accomplishments. 

She filled out a form for promotion-by-mission and turned it in. Two days later she was called into the Hokage’s office. Minato was literally eating a sandwich while he talked to her, apparently on his lunch break. 

“Right,” Minato said, swallowing. He picked her application off a pile of papers and slid it across his desk to her. “I’m not approving this.”

“Okay,” Tori said, having expected as much. 

“Because I want you to go to the next exam,” he continued. “It’s in Kiri.”

“Oh,” Tori replied, surprised. So she’d have to prove her qualifications? Annoying. 

“I think you should aim to win the tournament,” Minato said through another mouthful of sandwich. “Make it flashy. It’ll be a good showing for Konoha.”

“Wait—” Tori started. “I’m not—”

“I’m going to okay you to reduce lab hours if you feel like you need training,” Minato continued, unperturbed by the madness he was spitting. He passed another, stamped form across the desk for her, brushing sandwich crumbs off of it. “You have six weeks. Kushina said she’d register you. Let me know if you need anything.”

He dismissed her. Tori wandered out of his office gripping her exemption paperwork in both hands. Less lab time was the opposite of what she wanted!

Deidara laughed at her when she reported what happened. There was, she noted, empty curry-stained tupperware in his sink. 

“I can’t win the tournament,” Tori bemoaned as he snickered. She was really more of a “promoted due to clever thinking” type of kunoichi. “Make it flashy? What is he thinking?”

“Probably that most genin actually just suck, yeah,” Deidara told her. “Do you think Kushina-sensei could convince him to let me go to the tournament?”

Apparently the idea of watching her fight was deeply funny to Deidara. He talked for a very long time about wanting to see her panic and melt a small child into goo in front of all their friends and family. Tori buried her face in her hands. 

“Oh, then you’d get a pay raise,” Deidara said, eyes suddenly brightening. “We could move somewhere better, yeah.”

“Deidaraaa,” she whined. 

xXx

The lab sink was already filled with dirty test tubes in the morning. The new chunin had mislabeled several samples the day before, and now the experiment was ruined, and Tori was in charge of clean-up. Tori listened to the chunin explain this, glaring at the sink. 

“So I’ll be setting it up again while you clean,” the chunin said. 

It wasn’t that Tori thought she’d never mislabel something. It was that she had enough experience to know to double-check, and if she managed to screw it up anyway, she’d clean up her own fuck-ups. 

Plus, everyone had ignored that she’d pointed out their control for this experiment made no sense. There was a huge risk that whatever results they got, if this chunin could get it to work at all, would be totally uninterpretable. 

“Actually, I have an exemption,” Tori told the chunin. “I just came in to say I’ll be out for a while.”

She fled the lab. Kushina’s office door was always open. 

“Oh!” Kushina said when Tori knocked. “You’re getting started on training earlier than I thought. Donut?”

She had a small box of donut holes she pushed at Tori. Kushina always had snacks on hand, because she liked bribing people into see her in person. 

“I talked it over with Minato,” Kushina said, twirling a pen in her fingers as she spoke. “Basically, we think it’d be a good PR move if you sort of showed off that Konoha is basically the best at fuuinjutsu.” 

“Okay,” Tori said. She could do that, at least… probably. 

“You weren’t really flashy with it in the Iwa tournament,” Kushina continued. “So we’ll have to come up with something. Maybe you can work on giving some speeches about how your jutsu works like some weirdos do. Oh, but don’t show off you can use nonhuman chakra; we don’t want that getting out until it has to.” Kushina frowned slightly. “And I guess you shouldn’t melt any other genin. That’d be bad for international relations.”

“Okay,” Tori repeated. That just severely limited her combat capabilities. “Um, Hokage-sama told me to… win the tournament?”

She waited for Kushina to say Minato was being ridiculous. Instead she beamed and said, “Well, of course! I want my team to be three-for-three, you know!”

Kushina then made her take the rest of the box of donuts and shooed her out of the office, with a promise they’d make a training schedule. 

“It’ll only be like twice a week,” Kushina said as Tori gathered up her bag. “Don’t want to distract you from the lab!”

“But,” Tori started. She needed… more than that, if she was even going to pass, let alone win a tournament. 

“Bye!” Kushina replied. 

Tori walked out of Hokage Tower feeling completely unsure of what to do. She could go… think about combat fuuinjutsu? Except, she’d moved most of her materials to her desk in R&D in a bid for separate work and personal time, and she did not want to go back there right now. 

Well, she knew Deidara was in town and not doing anything. She went and asked him if he wanted to train. 

Deidara took at her in deep distrust. “Who are you and what did you do with Tori?”

“Come on,” Tori whined. “I brought you donuts.”

Deidara was walking with a slight limp, but he did accept the rest of the donut holes and then shuffled out the door.

“We can use my grounds, yeah,” he said, still sounding suspicious that she wanted to train at all. 

Deidara had his own assigned training ground, out in a field away from anything else. It was filled with half-made sculptures covered in tarp that Tori had decorated in fuuinjutsu herself, to reduce the chance of random explosions. 

The field was also completely riddled with potholes, blown into the ground by Deidara’s various experiments. Deidara wasn’t exactly quick on his feet right now, but he did spend the rest of the morning attempting to shove Tori into various holes and then close them over her, making fun of her the entire time. 

So probably she was improving at… something. Getting out of death traps, maybe. 

Kushina, at least, did get back to her with a schedule fairly quickly. Kushina had blocked off some time in the afternoons on Mondays and Thursdays, and gone ahead and made training ground reservations. 

“Do you have anything you want to do?” Kushina asked while she tied her hair up in preparation for what Tori assumed was two hours of kicking Tori’s ass. 

“I mean, I can come up with something,” Tori said. Then she added slowly, “But I’m not sure it would be… flashy.”

“Nah, flashy isn’t really your style,” Kushina agreed. “I figured I’d just give you something from the ol’ vault.”

“‘The vault’?” Tori repeated. 

“An Uzushio technique,” Kushina clarified. 

“But isn’t that…” Tori started, and then was unsure how to finish her sentence. 

The Konoha school of fuuinjutsu— which was ultimately closest to what Tori had ended up teaching herself, since her main instructor at the very beginning of her convoluted journey was Orochimaru— was the most similar amongst shinobi villages to traditional Uzushio practices, due to generations of intellectual trade between Uzushio and various Fire Country shinobi clans, especially the Senju. 

Konoha fuuinjutsu and Uzushio fuuinjutsu weren’t synonymous though. A lot of Uzushio practices had been completely lost. Kushina had immigrated to Konoha with an entire trunk of scrolls, and one of her long term projects as Konoha’s head of fuuinjutsu was hunting down and recovering Uzushio techniques for preservation. These techniques were highly prized and rarely taught even to Konoha ninja, and Tori was barely even Konoha. 

“Isn’t that like… for your family?” Tori asked. 

Kushina frowned down at her. 

“What are you talking about?” she said. “You’re my student. Of course I’m teaching you my techniques.”

Kushina did proceed to kick Tori’s ass for the next two hours, except instead of just hitting things at her, Kushina threw in some “what do you think of THIS technique?” moves. The training ground ended up completely ripped to shreds. Afterwards, Kushina lined up a bunch of scrolls containing the techniques which had nearly just murdered Tori and went over the pros and cons. 

“I want something more subtle,” Tori said, clutching her bruised ribs, because what the fuck?

“No,” Kushina chided, “it has to be big and flashy, you know! We went over this!”

Tori was assigned a scroll and sent off to study it. 

xXx

Tori attempted to demonstrate it for Deidara. She dropped the sealing paper into a bucket of water. The water inside twisted into gentle swirls. 

“Uh huh,” Deidara said, unimpressed. He held out a hand and a clay water strider hopped onto the water’s surface. It zipped around, not the least bit disturbed by the slowly moving water. 

Tori frowned and made a hand sign, attempting to add more chakra to the seal. The water picked up slightly. The clay bug was still unperturbed. 

“A whirlpool, you said?” Deidara said, a mean smile pulling at the corners of his lips. 

“Shut up,” Tori replied. 

xXx

[...]

xXx

The problem with doing anything with Kushina was that there was a small but very real chance the Hokage would just be there. 

Tori had expected to speak to him. He was their ride to and from the beach. She assumed the necessity of his presence was why she was meeting Kushina at her house and not some more central location. Tori had also assumed that Minato’s presence would be temporary. 

Instead, Minato was in swim trunks and holding a large straw bag. Naruto was behind him, also in swim trunks, swinging a shovel around like some sort of weapon and making whooshing noises with his mouth. 

“Uh,” Tori said. 

“Don’t mind them,” Kushina replied. She was also dressed for the beach, in a mesh dress over a one piece. A pair of sunglasses sat on top of her head. She held a second straw bag in her hands. “They’ll just be hanging out.”

“But…” the protest died on Tori’s lips. It was an extreme act of favoritism for her to get to go to a beach for training for a day. It would be rude to complain that Minato and Naruto also wanted to hang out with Kushina. “Okay.”

The beach Minato teleported them to was on an island, out in the middle of nowhere off the southern coast of Fire Country. Unlike a lot of his Hiraishin markers, this one was not here as the result of a war mission, because this place had seen no fighting. 

The marker he took them to was in an old outpost building on the eastern most point of the island, left over from generations ago during the warring clans ers, when there was fear of an attack from the sea in this area. But since Konoha had unified all the ninja in Fire Country, all the in-fighting had halted. The only true risk of attack came from Water Country, and there were more and better placed outposts to monitor their waters. This building was abandoned and basically falling apart, and only good for providing shade. 

“Remember when your dad abandoned us here,” Kushina was saying to Naruto, tone humorous, “and it stormed, and we had to hide inside for hours?”

“Oooh yeah,” Naruto nodded knowingly, “because he had an ‘emergency meeting’ about something dumb, and he said he’d come right back, but then he didn’t.”

“The fruit vendors’ union was in a state of extreme duress,” Kushina said solemnly. 

“They’re never going to let me live that one down,” Minato said to Tori with a good humored smile. 

Kushina led them down the beach and around to the side of the island that faced the mainland. There were barely any waves on this side of the island, and the tide was far in enough that there was only a thin strip of white sand between the water and the tree line. Naruto kicked joyfully in the shallow water, running ahead and then running back. 

They hung their stuff in the trees, with Kushina pulling out a belt of scrolls and strapping it around her waist. 

“Is Mom going to do something cool?” Naruto said, vibrating in place. 

“We can watch,” Minato said, squatting next to him. “Here.”

Naruto climbed onto his back, giggling as he went. 

Oh god, I’m their entertainment, Tori thought. She did not, actually, want the Hokage to watch her embarrass herself. She didn’t even want a ten year old kid to watch her. 

(Maybe she especially didn’t want the ten year old kid watching her? Little kids could be mean and judgemental, and Minato had taught Obito. He’d definitely seen more embarrassing stuff than whatever Tori was about to fail at.)

They walked out over the water. It was shallow for a long while, and the water was clear enough that Tori could see all sorts of big rocks waiting to appear when the tide went out. When they reached deeper water, the water beneath them suddenly went dark. 

“Don’t like that,” Naruto said, squinting down at it. It was kind of spooky, Tori privately agreed. 

Kushina motioned for them to stop, then walked out further by herself. Then she turned to them and pulled a scroll from her belt. 

“Okay!” she called. “Get ready!”

She then bounded backwards, putting even more distance between them, and tossed the scroll out from herself. It unrolled at her feet and across the surface of the water, and then ink rapidly crawled out from it. Tori squinted at it. It looked like the lines of characters crawled out from the scroll and then sank into the water. 

There was maybe a thirty second delay between Kushina unrolling the scroll and then the water in front of them suddenly moving. It swept sideways, and then grew in velocity such that both Tori and Minato had to leap back to avoid being swept away. The giant whirlpool’s center dipped down into the water. If they’d started off closer to Kushina, Tori wasn’t sure she would have been able to escape being sucked in. If Tori hadn’t known exactly what was going to happen and not been warned, she probably wouldn’t have expected the attack to have this sort of range and not backed off quick enough. 

“Whoa!” Naruto cried. “Mom’s so cool!”

“Right?” Minato replied. 

Kushina skirted the edge of the whirlpool back to them.  

“Ta-da!” she said, throwing her hands in the air. She had to pitch her voice loud over the sound of the water. “These used to be all around Uzushio, to keep people out. And we used to use little ones to fish. But I don’t see why you couldn’t use it for that very flashy attack you want, Tori, right?”

Tori hadn’t actually wanted a flashy attack, but she didn’t point that out with the guy who ordered her to be flashy standing right there. 

“You’re going to use that in a fight?” Naruto asked, peering down at Tori from his perch on his father’s back. “I thought you were the lame one on your team.”

“Naruto,” Kushina scolded immediately. 

“That’s the plan,” Tori told Naruto, unperturbed. “I’m supposed to convince everyone I’m cool.”

“I thought you were just going to win the tournament,” Naruto said. “Everyone would think you’re cool if you won.”

Oh god, what has Kushina-sensei been saying about me? Tori wondered. Outloud, she said, “Sometimes the goal of a fight isn’t to win.”

“Really?” Naruto asked, wrinkling his nose like this was perplexing. He aimed his question at the back of Minato’s head rather than Tori. 

“She’s right,” Minato said. “You and I can talk about it more when we go make a sand castle.”

“She is going to win though, you know,” Kushina said, hands on hips. 

“Just keep in mind the goal is to show off fuuinjutsu,” Minato said, turning to Tori. “You want the audience to see what you’re doing. Don’t be sneaky.”

“What?” Tori said. She pointed at the whirlpool. “That took like half a minute to activate. How am I supposed to use it without being sneaky?”

“Thirty seconds is pretty fast for a genin,” Minato said. 

Tori chewed her lip, unsure how to answer. So he thought she’d be even slower? How did pointing that out help her?

“It would also be good for PR if you seemed…” Minato arranged Naruto on his back awkwardly. “I don’t know, peppy?”

“Peppy?” Kushina repeated with a barking laugh. 

“I don’t know, what makes people want to hire a teenaged girl?” Minato asked. 

“Coolness,” Naruto said immediately. 

“Oh, you think she should be cute?” Kushina said, frowning slightly. She tapped her chin. “Tori, you can be charming for a couple hours, right?”

“No?” Tori tried, voice cracking. Well, probably if she was playing off a specific person. But she had no idea how to charm a whole audience and then also do all this crazy combat stuff at the same time. 

“I’m sure you can manage,” Minato said, smiling at her with more confidence than his opinion deserved. “C’mon, Naruto, let’s go play.”

He left. Tori watched them, and when they were back at the beach, she asked:

“Did you give Deidara this many caveats?”

“Hm?” Kushina said. “No, of course not. You think Deidara could be anything but a screaming maniac in a fight? We just told him not to kill anyone and figured the explosions would make anyone want to hire him.”

Wow, Tori thought as Kushina turned to deactivate her whirlpool. I can’t believe marketability is this important to being a ninja. 

Tori spent the rest of the morning squatting on the water with scrolls in her lap, making seals for whirlpools while Kushina stood over her with arms crossed. The seal required a certain amount of chakra manipulation from the user, which wasn’t the way Tori liked to design her own seals, and her misunderstanding of this was what had been causing her problems. It took several tries to get an actual whirlpool. 

It was… very small, only the size of her palm. It was almost cute. 

“Well, it worked,” Tori deadpanned. “Could I catch fish in it?”

“Absolutely not,” Kushina said, but her tone was good-humored. “You definitely got the jutsu down though; good job. You just need to put in more chakra to make it bigger.”

“More chakra?” Tori asked, peering up at Kushina. She did a few calculations in her head. If the amount of chakra was proportional to the size of the whirlpool… “I’m not sure I even have enough chakra to make a whirlpool as big as yours.”

“Eh, you probably won’t even have that much water,” Kushina said dismissively. “Do it again, and we’ll see how big you can make it.”

Tori went back to the shore for lunch feeling deeply dissatisfied and weak-limbed from chakra loss. Naruto ran over to them the second Kushina’s foot hit the shore, Minato following him.

“It’s not a big deal,” Kushina said as she unpacked their food. “Lots of jutsu have high chakra costs, and shinobi deal with that everyday. Minato, how many times can you use rasengan in one fight?”

Presumably because the limitations of a Hokage’s signature jutsu were state secrets, Minato took a long chug of water instead of answering. 

“I don’t like it,” Tori muttered, accepting a bento box. “It doesn’t feel… safe. I’d rather use algae chakra or something.” 

“Okay, this isn’t going to be life or death, you know,” Kushina said. “This is a perfectly safe opportunity to get comfortable with risk assessment for when you can or should use a chakra-heavy technique or not.” 

“She’s right,” Minato agreed. “Our relations with Kiri are good. This isn’t going to be like your other exam. No one’s going to try and kill you.” 

I don’t think that’s true, Tori thought. People were always trying to kill her. It was part of her charm. 

“Are you worried about pushing through a fight low on chakra?” Kushina asked, settling down on a beach towel with her own lunch. Naruto plopped down next to her, immediately getting sand all over the towel. 

“No, I’m confident I can handle that,” Tori said. She didn’t favor chakra-heavy techniques, but she’d definitely fucked up a lot of jutsu experiments and spent way more chakra than she meant, and being in Oto ment sometimes you just had to do a task post losing all your chakra to an experiment. 

“Good,” Kushina said, nodding to herself. “Because I know you’ve been sparring with Deidara, and… well, I don’t think he or I are good for advice on that.”

Tori snorted. No, she didn’t think they would be. 

“Do ninja have to fight a lot with no chakra?” Naruto asked, sounding concerned. 

Minato, seated on his own towel rolled out next to them, poked Naruto’s leg with one foot. 

“You probably won’t have that problem,” Minato said. “Because you’re your mother’s son. But yes, it’s normal to have to do a mission low on chakra, or tired, or hungry.”

“That sounds like it sucks,” Naruto said, frowning. “Why would you assign a mission that sucks?”

Minato grinned back at him. “Well, I try really hard to make missions as easy as possible, but sometimes things go wrong.”

“Like a storm during the fruit vendor union’s meeting,” Kushina said brightly. 

“Er. Yes, like that…” 

Tori sat on her own towel across from them, eating in silence as she watched the family tease each other. It seemed wild they were all being this nonchalant while she was freaking out. Then again, why would they care about her, when they had their own little happy family to concern themselves with? 

The problem with practicing high-chakra techniques was that Tori had already spent so much chakra that not even resting and eating had recouped enough to make anything besides a tiny whirlpool. She was done with that training for the day, whether she wanted to be or not. 

“I guess Minato can take you home, if you want,” Kushina said. “Or you can stay. Have you ever been on a beach before, Tori?”

Tori hadn’t seen a beach in years. Tori did actually quite like the beach; she probably would have been overjoyed if she hadn’t come here already stressed and upset. She agreed to stay. 

The tide had gone out, leaving a wide stretch of wet sand that glinted in the sunlight, algae-covered boulders, and shallow tide pools. Tori watched the Namikaze-Uzumaki family walk out over it, led by Naruto’s screams of delight. 

Tori stripped off her kunoichi dress, down to her bathing suit, and kicked off her sandals. She’d been swimming in plenty of rivers and lakes, but she’d missed the sensation of sand between her toes. 

“Whoa!” Naruto cried. “Look at this guy!”

He held up a horseshoe crab. Tori jogged over to them, eager to look at it herself. 

“They have blue blood,” she told Naruto excitedly. He looked up at her curiously. “Because their blood cells use copper as an oxygen carrier instead of iron. Isn’t that cool?”

Naruto’s face of wonder at the idea of blue blood shifted to confusion. Tori wasn’t sure this kid had understood a single thing she’d told him, possibly ever. Kushina laughed at them. 

They spent the afternoon combing the tide pools for cool little creatures. Kushina knew the names for almost all of them, from the two different types of mudskippers they unearthed, to a bunch of different types of crabs, to a handful of sea cucumbers, to a rainbow of anemones and seaweeds. 

“Tide pool hopping was my favorite game, back in Uzushio, you know,” Kushina told Tori with a hint of sadness in her voice. She held up the tiny hermit crab in her palm. “I used to keep a bunch of these. I was always hoping they’d move into the prettier shells I’d find for them. They never did, though.”

She laughed, but the sound was quieter than Kushina’s laughs usually were. 

Tori opened her mouth to say she’d always begged her parents for a hermit crab when she was a kid, because she liked the painted shells seaside shops sold with them. The story died on her lips before she could make a single syllable. That part of her life was way over. She only ever let herself think about it in the darkest part of the night now. 

Instead she said, “Yeah, tide pools are super cool. I like reading about them. I’m glad I could see them in person.”

Kushina grinned at her. 

“I’m lucky I can still share stuff like this with my family,” Kushina said, voice brighter now. She gently replaced the hermit crab on the edge of its tide pool. “If you ever want to join us again, sometimes we also go to a mainland beach in…”

Kushina babbled. At some point, Minato disappeared and reappeared with a bunch of popsicles. Tori found a spiral of shark eggs and attempted to convince a giggling Naruto he should eat them. They went back to their things only to discover biting ants had invaded all of their bags. 

“We could put out food and draw them away!” Naruto said, a handful of chips from their lunch suddenly in his hands. 

“Do not do that,” Minato yelped, grabbing for Naruto’s wrist. 

They went home all covered in ant bites. Apparently not even a Kage could win against mother nature. 

Tori walked home with a smile on her face, happy with her afternoon. It wasn’t until she was home and heating up water for instant noodles that she realized she hadn’t actually solved any of her problems. She could make a medium whirlpool now, but she’d only get one shot at it, and she had no idea how to approach that. 

Oh god, she thought, heartbeat suddenly increasing. And I only have two weeks left!

xXx

Kushina and Deidara just spammed high-chakra techniques as much as they wanted. They wouldn’t be good for advice. But Tori did have another teammate. 

Itachi was annoyingly hard to track down nowadays. He took a lot of away missions in ANBU, which Minato was tightlipped about with even Kushina, so that route of tracking his movements was limited. If Tori wanted to find him, she had to talk to his family, which she always felt super awkward about. 

“He didn’t give us a return date, dear,” Mikoto told her when she answered the door, smile serene. Tori wondered if she seemed dumb in Mikoto’s eyes. Yes, she knew ANBU agents often couldn’t say when they’d be back. She just thought she’d ask on the off chance that he had!

Mikoto offered to let her stay for tea. Tori fled as quickly and politely as she could. 

Tori started doing increasingly unhinged things, like watching the Academy when it let out because she knew Itachi liked picking up Sasuke and would prioritize getting home in time to do it if he could. She spent a lot of time haunting the outside of ANBU HQ and Itachi’s favorite bakery. None of these things, her anxiety-riddled brain pointed out, helped her train at all. 

She didn’t even find Itachi doing this. Instead, Kakashi tapped her on the shoulder while she was sneaking into the ANBU breakroom after hours. 

“Fantastically illegal activities you’re up to, my sweet ninja sibling,” he drawled. 

Tori had basically jumped out of her skin, but she’d managed not to scream. God, Kakashi could hide his presence completely. 

“I’m trying to find Itachi,” she said, voice strangled. Then she cocked her head to the side as she considered Kakashi. “Actually, maybe you can help instead. Got a few minutes for some mentoring?”

Kakashi was in full ANBU uniform, so she couldn’t see his face. He did lean back slightly, regarding her. She knew that, despite his posturing about calling Team 4 his “siblings,” Kakashi was pretty hit-or-miss about actually wanting to hang out with anyone at all. He liked privacy and was allergic to intimacy, and she had no idea if helping a genin out of the goodness of his heart was pushing it or not. 

After a long, awkward silence, Kakashi finally said. “Alright. Give me twenty minutes to shower and change.”

He sent her to a nearby teahouse to meet and then didn’t show up for another forty-five minutes. The tea Tori ordered for them was lukewarm by the time he walked in. 

“I became lost in thought in the shower,” he said dreamily. 

“Gross,” Tori told him. 

Kakashi blinked lethargically at her. “I did not imply that at all, my dirty-minded sibling.” 

Tori cut to the chase, explaining her current mess of a situation to him. She was supposed to win a bunch of fights, act charming and cool while she did it, and on top of all that, she had to use a high-chakra fuuinjutsu technique she was unlikely to get comfortable with in the current timeframe. 

“What… exactly… are you asking for advice on?” Kakashi asked when she was finished. 

“You end up with chakra exhaustion a lot,” Tori said pointblank. “I guess I was wondering… I don’t know, how do you deal with not having enough chakra for your own techniques?”

“Hmm,” Kakashi said, drumming his fingers on the table between them. “You know, you’re right. Maybe being charming and ‘peppy’ is impossible for you. That was pretty mean.”

Tori kicked him under the table. 

“I still don’t understand what you’re torn up about,” Kakashi said, his eye crinkling up in a teasing grin at her. “When I met you, you had no accessible chakra, and that didn’t slow you down at all. Why does the idea of spending it all on one technique upset you so much?”

“I guess…” Tori fidgeted with the cup in her hands. “If I just had to win a fight, that would be one thing. But I’m supposed to do a very specific thing, and I’ll only really get one shot at it.”

“Ah,” Kakashi said. There was a long pause. Then he said, “I am trying to think of a joke appropriate for a fourteen year old.”

“Gross!” Tori laughed. 

“Maa,” Kakashi said. “Unfortunately I don’t think there’s a very good answer to your conundrum. If you screw up, you screw up. Any big technique is like that. If it helps, you’re at a normal part of any ninja’s journey.” 

Tori wasn’t… she wasn’t a proper ninja, though. She felt like a pretender, a fake, a kid playing make believe. She had no idea how to communicate this to Kakashi without sounding completely insane. 

“I think maybe,” Kakashi continued, leaning back in his seat, “you’re more anxious because it’s not your original technique, so you’re not as confident with it. You’re used to having done all the development and troubleshooting yourself, and the lack of control on that end is freaking you out.”

“...Huh,” Tori said. That… that definitely could be part of it. 

“I’m not the person to ask about original techniques,” Kakashi drawled. “But I will say that the key to mastering someone else’s technique is to make it your own. You don’t have to use it exactly the way Kushina does. You have to figure out how to make it work with your style.”

“That’s actually really helpful,” Tori said with a weak smile. “Thanks, Kakashi.”

“Anytime,” Kakashi replied, and then disappeared into a puff of smoke, leaving her with the bill. 

xXx

Tori felt slightly at peace for a few more days, spending time analyzing the jutsu scroll and cross-referencing pieces of it with her research materials. This seemed closer to who she actually was. It soothed her. 

Then Deidara spiked her anxiety all over again by showing her a lease he’d signed. There was another line with an X next to it, for her to sign as well. 

“I haven’t even seen the apartment,” Tori said, feeling hysterical. Why was everyone making all these insane decisions for her?!

“It’s cool, I promise,” Deidara said. “But we have to sign quick. The landlord only gave me a couple days to decide, yeah.”

Tori leafed through the lease furiously. The address was in a really nice neighborhood, the square footage was impressive, and the lease listed patio furniture among assets they’d be liable for, implying the existence of that outdoor space she wanted. Half the total rent would be a huge stretch even on a chunin salary, and she might not even get that. 

“I’m willing to divide up rent proportional to our salaries, but I get the bigger bedroom,” Deidara said. 

“Even if I stay a genin?” Tori snapped. She shoved the paper and the pen at him. 

“You’re not going to stay a genin, yeah,” he replied, annoyed, and shoved it back at her.  

“The average age of promotion is fifteen,” Tori said, her voice cracking embarrassingly. “Thirty percent of shinobi never even make chunin.”

Tori had less than a week to prepare before heading out. She felt like she needed months to practice as much as she wanted, and she didn’t have the time or energy to deal with this. And yet, she found herself skipping her training ground booking to take a tour of an apartment.

“Be quick,” the landlord said. “The current tenants only agreed to thirty minutes.”

The apartment was really nice. Nicer than she’d even ever considered an apartment could be, really. All three of the bedrooms and their own narrow balconies, not quite enough for furniture but enough for a potted plant and to step out onto in the morning, and there was a rooftop terrace. 

“We could make this one an office,” Deidara said, gesturing at the smallest bedroom, which was the size of a very determined closet and currently done up as a baby room. The current tenants wanted an actual house for their growing family, apparently. 

Deidara could easily afford a pretty nice apartment on a Jounin salary, even if he had zero savings to fall back on. Tori assumed his insistence on her rooming with him was the little income bump to get him something even better than “pretty nice.” He probably felt like he deserved it, after all those years as a feral forest child. 

She certainly couldn’t afford anything approaching this good on her own. If she wanted anything bigger than her dorm room on her own, she’d have to either get incredibly lucky or look in one of the shittier outer neighborhoods, which was why she hadn’t done it. 

When they were done with the tour, the landlord stared expectantly at them. Deidara cleared his throat and looked meaningfully at her. 

Oh, so he’d gotten this last minute tour because he’d promised the landlord she’d sign. 

Tori low-key felt like flipping them both off and stomping off. Her hand balled into a fist. 

“The café on the corner is supposed to have the best coffee in Konoha, yeah,” Deidara said, eyes glinting. 

“Fine,” Tori seethed. “I’ll sign.”

If she didn’t make chunin, her life really was going to turn into a shit show. 

So long, take-out lunches, she thought as she signed her life away. 

As they walked back to the dorms, Tori actually thought a little harder about what they’d just done. She’d never rented an apartment herself before, but Deidara had been working on moving out since he made chunin. She’d listened to a lot of rants about biases landlords had against younger ninja, even if they had high salaries. Usually ninja got charged high, multi-month deposits, to cover the landlord in case the renter should randomly die. It prevented younger ninja, who didn’t have savings, from renting higher-end places even if they could afford the monthly rent. 

“There wasn’t anything in the lease about a deposit,” Tori said, confused. Was that a separate thing she’d also suddenly have shoved in front of her? “Or… key money?”

Deidara beamed at her. “I found a way around that! I just got a cosigner to cover us, yeah.”

“Cosigner…?” Tori repeated. “That wasn’t on the lease…”

“Yeah, usually that’d be in there and it wouldn’t get you out of a deposit,” Deidara agreed. “But turns out you can get away with anything with a letter from Hokage-sama, yeah!”

Tori stopped dead in her tracks. Oh good, now if she didn’t make chunin, the Hokage would know she couldn’t make rent. 

“What?” Deidara said, putting his hand on his hip. “You wanted to read his note too? Tori, you're such a nerd–”

Tori resisted the urge to scream. 

xXx

Itachi finally found her two days before she was set to leave. He found her setting up at the training ground she had booked for the morning.

“Both my mother and Kakashi-sempai said you were looking for me,” he said, eyeing the line of bamboo poles she set out in the packed dirt. 

“Yeah,” Tori said, pointing accusingly at him. “You are impossible to find, asshole.”

“I apologize,” Itachi said, not sounding the least sorry. “I’ve been… increasingly uncomfortable at home, and have been taking longer missions.”

Tori squinted at him. She’d thought Danzo being gone would make his family situation better, not worse. 

“Is something wrong?” she asked carefully. 

Itachi, being an uncommunicative asshole, just shook his head. He didn’t look any more stressed than he usually did: he had killer bags under his eyes, but that was his normal state of being. His hair was recently washed and shiny, not gross from too much time on missions and not enough time with shower access. His body language was calm and lacked the weird twitchy movements he’d get when he was trying not to lose his shit on someone. 

He was at least physically taking care of himself, then. She had no idea what went on in his messed up little brain, but Sasuke had seemed perfectly happy and sociable those days she’d clandestinely stalked him, which was a good predictor of Itachi’s anxiety levels. 

“Did you want something from me?” Itachi prompted. 

“Oh,” Tori said. “Kakashi ended up helping me out, actually.”

She briefly explained her current conundrum. 

“Kiri?” Itachi asked, and Tori noted he brightened ever so much. This was basically the Itachi version of perking up like a dog hearing the treat bag rustle. It was almost cute. 

“Yeah,” Tori said. “The other thing I wanted to ask was if you want me to tell you-know-who anything.”

“Hmm, no,” Itachi said, without the slightest hint of malice in his voice.

“Really?” 

“If I had something to say,” Itachi said blandly, “I would simply send a crow.”

Tori’s lips thinned. Itachi was… not a very good friend, in her opinion. But it also wasn’t in her place to micromanage his friendship with Kisame. 

“Perhaps you can ask how he’s doing,” Itachi said mildly. “I would like to know.”

That was… that was cute, actually. 

“Sure,” Tori agreed. 

Itachi next turned back to her bamboo poles. 

“Is this for your mission?” he asked. 

“Mm,” Tori said. “I’m making an overly complicated jutsu to look cool. Wanna help? I need someone to swing a sword at me.”

Itachi was happy to comply. He was, Tori abruptly remembered, a terrifying person to have swing a sword at you. 

But she did get her jutsu working.

[mynicknameisgasoline]

Cobra Kai incorrect quotes pt. 1/2

1.

y/n: Bro- Miguel: No, no, hold up, rewind. Miguel: My tongue was down in your throat just a second ago and now you're calling me bro??

2.

S2! Miguel: You are the love of my life and I would do anything within reason to make you happy. y/n: I would be happy if you stayed hydrated and got a reasonable amount of sleep. S2! Miguel: I said within reason, y/n. How about I murder that guy? points to robby y/n: So murder is in reason but proper self care isn't? S2! Miguel: Well, duh. What kind of question is that?

3.

y/n: I fell— Miguel: From heaven? y/n: No, I literally fell— Miguel: In love with me the moment you saw me? y/n: MY ARM IS BROKEN! Miguel: Okay, but do you think I'm pretty? Be honest.

4.

Hawk: I’m in love with you. y/n: We called off the prank war last night at midnight, dork. Hawk: I know. y/n: Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-

5.

y/n: Remember, Hawk, don't do anything I wouldn't do. Hawk: I think I crossed that line when I got a date.

6.

y/n: Fuck you. Hawk: No u. y/n: I'm down. Hawk: You're like 2, what the fuck- y/n: I AM NOT 2!

7.

Sam: Wow, they really hate us. y/n: Yes, perhaps they’re homophobic. Sam: But we’re not gay, y/n. y/n: Sam: y/n: We’re not?

8.

y/n: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine. Tory: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again. y/n: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns?? Tory: Is it working?

9.

y/n, about Tory: I could fix them, but honestly whatever the hell is wrong with them is way funnier. Sam: That's what any god probably thinks about me.

10.

Miguel: Unfollow me if you think the Earth is flat. Tory: seriously pretends to be a flat-earther to antagonize the anti-flat-earther. Sam: neutral but makes polls to start fights, "Is the Earth flat? Let's discuss!" y/n: not a flat-earther but makes "the Earth may be flat but this ass ain't" jokes for viral tweets. Hawk: actual flat-earther.

[starkrebellion]

💀💀 quick rant because a certain side of the Cobra Kai fandom will apparently never stop pissing me off and this is like the only place where I haven't seen anyone post shit like this

I NEED THESE PEOPLE TO GET A LIFE AND GET SERIOUS FAST.... in what world do they think that this is in any way entertaining or a cool thing to post. This kind of "humor" says a lot about a person's maturity, which in this case is nonexistent.

first of all, calling Peyton List (and generally judging other people for the way they look) a 5/10 is wild and objectively wrong... and even if she wasn't absolutely gorgeous I hope these people posting this shit never find love because Robby clearly didn't choose (not that there even was a choice to make) Tory for her looks. Zara's actress, Rayna Vallandingham, is also super beautiful and from what I've seen seems like a nice person who I'm glad got this opportunity to be in ck, but the character in itself is a jealous bitch and otherwise insufferable, and let's not forget the fact that she literally SA'd Robby. Plus before or after that they didn't spend any real time together... why the fuck would Robby choose her over the girl that he actually knows and loves????

secondly, Sam really doesn't look that different in season 6 than she did in the previous ones. And she certainly doesn't look any worse. If anything Mary Mouser looks even more beautiful now. Only childish people care this much about another person's weight. Calling her "Ham" wasn't funny when it first started, it's not funny now, just like none of the jokes regarding the way she looks are. There's seriously something wrong with these people and they're way too obsessive about bullying this girl who has done literally nothing to them because I can't see a single post about Sam/Mary without someone bullying her in the comments

It's okay to dislike a character but bringing the actor's looks into it is disgusting and immature. They are real people with real feelings!!!! I can't believe that people can actually write that shit about someone else and feel good about themselves afterwards

These people are literally driving me insane, this is like the third post in a span of a few weeks that I've made about this topic.... can they fucking grow up and realize their "jokes" aren't funny in the slightest

[skarkkk]

People are so sick they make me want to vomit. Stop writing like Robby cheated on his girlfriend when he was raped, stop acting like it was cheating and not the fucking rape, my god, I have no patience for that kind of people because it's the height of stupidity.

People hate him for nothing and for nothing. And yes I say nothing, don't get me wrong, I completely understand the whole situation of the third season, but fuck it??? If the characters themselves forgave, moved on (not in the way I wanted it to be developed, but you can't expect much from a Netflix series) what the fuck are you going to do?? ( And I'm not even going to say my opinion about the fight because it would be an even bigger outbreak)

They put Kyler as a joke, Tory as a very deep plan that was never touched on again and now Zara and Robby as cheating??? It's disgusting.

I search the Robby Keene tag on ao3 and I want him to be comforted by someone trustworthy (give him happiness, I dare you Netflix) and so far I've only found three, three that were actually good, because the rest either make the situation 100% worse for no reason or are about things that have nothing to do with the situation. Give him a trustworthy adult who actually works, here we believe that Amanda would have done it differently and that she would see the situation because she seems to be the only sane one in this whole karate thing (and Shawn, but that's another thing).

I hate that they're going to treat it as a cheat plot in the last part, I hate that they're going to romanticize this as much as fucking hell and that it's going to fuck with Robby even more for no reason. It was completely UNNECESSARY to put SA there or at all other times and it's not even used for character development, for the plot, or who knows what, but for a fucking joke, a cheat plot to mess with the best couple in the series.

Fuck it, forever faithful to the opinion that Robby deserves much more.

Tumblr, surprisingly even though it's an american app, is safer to discuss this than with the brazilian fandom on TikTok, holy shit.

This post shouldn't even be this long, but I can't help myself.

[miriadalia]

Kwon and Draco Malfoy's character archetype and why it makes fans go crazy

(Warning: this post contains spoilers from both stories)

Like it or not, Kwon Jae Sung has become one of the most beloved characters in the Cobra Kai series, and he only needed 15 minutes or less of screen time to do so. Here's my analysis of why his character traits are so interesting to many fans and how this reminds me of the "Draco Malfoy effect" in the Harry Potter fandom.

Cobra Kai and Death Eaters

The first time we see Kwon, he's a student at the Korean Cobra Kai dojo, a place that not only condones but actually encourages young people to be violent, offensive, and merciless. We see how this teenager eagerly absorbs every one of these teachings and puts them into action.

Sounds familiar? In the HP universe, Death Eaters were an elite group created for the sole purpose of terrorizing and eliminating those they considered "the weakest and unworthiest": Muggle-borns and Muggles. They convinced (or forced) very young people to join them in their "mission": Draco, Snape, Regulus… All victims who then became perpetrators of the same crimes.

This scenario is SO attractive from a fictional POV. You have this dark group of adults that use and manipulate these teenagers or young adults for their own selfish purposes, and you begin to wonder: what are these young characters going to do when faced with the real consequences of their actions and way of thinking?

Draco realized (slowly and painfully) how his family's ideals were turning him into a monster forced to torture and kill innocent people. Kwon wasn't given enough time to do that… But I'll talk about this later.

Bad Boy trope and the King of Ships

Now, we can't deny that a huge part of both Kwon and Draco's attractiveness stems from their charisma, quick-witted remarks, and their inflated sense of self-importance, believing themselves untouchable and incomparable. They feel empowered to say and do whatever they want, whenever they want, to whomever they want.

All this, combined with their appealing and recognizable looks, creates the perfect formula for your next fictional Bad Boy crush™. And it also makes them so easy to ship with other characters, especially if their interactions can be interpreted as flirtatious when taken out of context (ahem, Dramione, ahem, Drarry, ahem, Kwon x Tory).

"He's just a boy"

At the end of the day, both boys were just that: 17-year-old boys trying to fit into the world they were raised in, be the best in their class, and achieve great things in life. And this is what makes them so endearing to many fans like me.

Both tried to impress the father figure they kind of idolized.

And both suffered when they faced the reality that they were just as powerless and insecure as any other normal teenager.

But in Draco's case, this moment of realization became the start of his regrets and redemption arc.

In Kwon's case, he was fated to be consumed by rage and die… due to a questionable plot and chain of events.

Now, I'm not going to debate the last 15 minutes of Cobra Kai Part 2 here. I've already written about it, and this isn't the point of this analysis anyway. I respect the people who think that Kwon's death was necessary and that it will help other characters' growth in Part 3, even though I strongly disagree with how the Cobra Kai writers handled it all.

However...

The infinite possibilites of the Redemption Arc

Not giving Kwon the possibility of a future redemption arc was a real waste of his character's potential.

Draco Malfoy wasn't truly redeemed in the original books, but at least in the epilogue, we see him raising a beautiful family, far removed from his racist past. And if you consider what happens in Cursed Child canon, you'll see how much he has grown and how good he could have been as a teen, too, if he hadn't been fed the wrong ideas and morals.

Imagine how cool it would have been if the "There's no such thing as bad student, only bad teacher" theme was applied in a drastically different way than what they decided to do in Part 2.

I'm not saying they should have shown us Kwon's redemption arc in Cobra Kai Season 6. That wouldn't have been good because we only have five episodes left, and it wouldn't have been believable that he changed so fast... But if he hadn't died, then all possibilities were open (for future spin-offs or even just to be coherent with the tone the CK series had until season 6, that is: no dead kids, just adults and only because of an illness).

Sunshine Actors

Lastly, it can't be denied that Brandon H. Lee and Tom Felton have played a crucial part in making their characters fan favorites.

They both have amazing acting skills, portraying charismatic yet tragic characters. And Brandon's stunt and martial arts skills are truly fascinating to watch.

But there's even more to their casting as Kwon and Draco. And even though I can totally separate the actor from the character, I won't deny that the actors being handsome, gentlemen, and the nicest people behind the scenes plays an important part in fans loving their characters.

If you've made it this far, thank you so much for reading!

I often post more character analyses and plot reviews, so if you like this, feel free to follow me and message me with any questions you may have :)

~miriadalia

[rabnerd28]

Alright y'all, here's a write up from Paramount Theatre's Cats 2025.

Prepare for rambling, getting a bunch of Circus Terms wrong and Spoilers. I will say that my audience could have been better. I think it really took until the second act for people to get into it. I wish I could take all the Cats fans and put them in that theater. Enjoy my third row perspective!

During the overture they show pictures of all the Cats and say who they are. Have I still forgotten all the male kittens? Yes.

Had to turn my Demelurina brain off for this one guys because they are canonically sisters and Griz's daughters in this one. This is listed both in the playbill and during the overture. I'll let it pass this one time but just because I thought they did it really well.

I'll probably talk about more of the family tree elements in it's own separate post.

Exotica and Sillabub are called "sisters" in the intro too, but I think that's show flavor as according to the playbill they're first cousins once removed.

The stage is actually dark as the Cats come out and then will flash with light showing them doing various circus acts.

Munkustrap steps out for Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats and he stands on a podium, and he's got a whip guys!

The stage is entirely dark for "do you see in the dark?"

All the cats have a standard Cats leotard and then additional costume pieces for certain numbers. Like, Munk isn't just the photo he released he's also got a top hat and ring master coat!

The pause isn't during the "boot drop" but instead comes after "flying trapeze". As in this production that was Grizabella's role and she's no longer with the circus. The trapeze in question was hanging over the first couple of rows of the audience, so I had to keep craning my neck whenever they pointed to it.

For Naming of Cats they keep the standard only visually naming the last few.

They also shined a light on a random guy in the first row to be the "man over there" and everyone got real in his face. Part of me wished I got that seat. Another part of me would be offended that they think I know nothing about Cats.

This production truly said Fuck Victoria. I mean it, this girls got nothing going on. I find it's a trend in modern non-replica's to downplay Tori, but this one gives her like two 10 second moments. I blame Tom Hooper.

White Cat Solo is replaced the with the Twins (cori and tani) getting on the trapeze and doing some tricks together while several cats circle the podium below them.

Jennyanydots is introduced by Asparagus (I'm not calling him Peter) blowing into a whoville style instrument and her falling out.

Jenny's role as the gumbie cat is to sell food to the audience.

They changed the beat so that it's slower, which i think was done to be in tune with the contortionist acts Jenny was doing.

There was a pause for Jenny showing the mice to knit and they started squeaking to the tune of what I'm 95% certain was "Think of Me" from Phantom of the Opera. It was hilarious.

Also the cockroaches were wind up cockroach toys that went around the stage, and while the Gumbie Trio was scared of them, Jenny just brushed it off with no problem.

The tap break is her doing various contortions and getting lifted at various points by the male cats as she does them. Also included a split while being held, I thought it looked really cool.

Tugger descends from the sky on a hoop like the over-dramatic bastard that he is.

Leather vest Tugger for the win! He's mostly orange and black and I'm bad at describing costumes but he looks so good! He's almost reminiscent of a tiger in a way. Munk is similarly striped but all in silver.

I'll just tell the people what I know they're here for. Mistoffelees says the terrible bore line but boy is king of being terrible at hiding his crush. He's simultaneously like "fuck tugger" and "fuck tugger" all at once if you get what I mean.

Munkustrap lied around acting bored the whole number. King of ignoring your annoying little brother.

Tugger leaves on the hoop thing again and then Grizabella arrives so we don't see his reaction to her.

She arrives through the aisle and Emily Rohm easily became one of my favorite Grizabella's. I don't know if this is what they're going for but it almost feels like Grizabella was in an accident and lost her memories, pretty much disappearing and abandoning everyone unintentionally. And she only came back because it felt familiar, so she starts slowly regaining her memories throughout the show. Maybe it's because they cast Jane Doe as Griz, but it really felt like that to me.

They switched Bomba and Demeter's parts for Grizabella the Glamour Cat.

Demeter and Bomba are very severely upset at Grizabella's appearance, and when she leaves the two do a little controlled breathing thing to calm themselves down which Bomba will lead the other Cats in during stressful moments throughout the rest of the show.

Bustopher Jones was bad. Like, really bad guys. It's the only number where I went, "wow I hate this". I've already blocked it from my memory.

The only thing I'll note from this number is that the trio is Jelly, Bomba and Demeter. With Jelly doing what is normally Jenny’s part. One of Bustopher's buttons also hits Jelly in the eye...twice.

For the Macavity scare the stage turned green and lightning flashed. Demeter as usual called for Macavity, but I think she was less scared on a personal level and more just as scared as any other Jellicle.

Rumpleteazer and Mungojerrie aren't interrupting the show but are instead a part of it and are presented by Bomba and Demeter.

Their number starts with the tandem carwheel, and they sing a bit of their number before moving onto the aerial straps (I think it was this).

They did something really interesting with this. Instead of having Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer sing while in the air, they had Tugger, Bomba and Demeter come out to sing while they were up there. I think it might just be too physically demanding for the two to sing and do their tricks, but I liked it. Though I did keep looking at the three instead of Jer and Teazer.

As they were swinging through the air, other cats brought out several large items for the two to steal, with Tugger catching them in a bag where they put all their loot. Then they brought out large plates for the two to "crash" as they swung through the air.

Wish they'd found a way to make Teazer and Jerrie stand out a little more when they didn't have their extra accessories on. Which were leather vests and little hats over one ear. However they were both brown and I wish they were either a different color or had patterns that stood out more.

Misto points out Old D in the audience and instead of the twins responding it's instead Tugger, Munk, Jelly, Deme and Bomba (I feel like there was one more, but I can't remember).

Munk sings and Tugger starts his section a little later specifically on the "99 wives" line. They really emphasize the numerous proginy in this version.

Deuteronomy arrives through the audience (I had an aisle seat, he was right next to me!) and is presented on stage. I think his coat was similar to the og, but was purple and grey. He also had a very fluffy wig and beard, as well as a pair of glasses. Deff giving very grandfatherly vibes.

Instead of a Macavity scare, the Jellicles all leave naturally and Old Deuteronomy does some magic with the moon. It was pretty cool the effect they were doing with it.

The jellicles are all carrying red balloons filled with helium on a string when they return and they incorporate it into the choreography for Song of the Jellicles.

To start the ball the cats pull back on the strings of the balloons and pop them with their hands, confetti falling out of them.

The ball was really good guys, but I cannot describe half of it, as I'm bad at doing that...also because I'm goldfish memory after a nights sleep, but I'll mention the few things that stand out.

The pas de deux is not between Tori and Plato. Instead there is a brief dance between Plato and Sillabub. I might be wrong on Plato. I lost the male kittens, okay.

Bomba did not lead the Honky Tonk. Also I'm pretty sure Tugger was checking out Misto during this part.

They were doing circus tricks throughout, mostly the hoop and trapeze swings from above, Admetus as a juggler, Electra on the wheel, and two cats at the front doing aerial silks.

At the end balloons were dropped from the sky and they were spread out into the audience, with a few cats continually throwing them. Did I catch one? Yeah. Did I keep it? No.

Griz is back and more cats get confrontational with her and hiss in her face. Old Deuteronomy actually appears behind her after everyone leaves, so she didn't see him as he observed her.

I was so mesmerized by Emily Rohm's singing that I almost didn't notice Sillabub sneaking around during the number.

The trapeze comes down at one point and she doesn't get on it, but she does stare it like she's trying to remember.

Sillabub then tries to touch Griz, but Bombalurina rushes out and stops her, taking her away. Griz then leaves, looking very hurt and confused as Old Deuteronomy watches her leave.

Intermission: Originally the people next to me weren't there for the first act, but I guess they arrived in time for the second act. Unfortunately one them either spilled their alcohol or had a very strong drink and I could smell it. I was able to ignore it for most of the rest of the show, but every once in a while I'd catch a whiff.

When we come back, Sillabub is watching the trapeze and Old Deuteronomy comes out signing Moments of Hapiness followed by the other Cats joining around them.

For Sillabubs part she gets on the trapeze and swings on it as she sings Moonlight. After, she and Old Deuternomy hug (aw).

Gus the Theatre Cat time, as he comes out dressed as an older and ragged clown. With Jellylorum singing for him.

There is also a younger Gus in the background doing aerial tricks. And they do a tiger roar for "blood curdling noise to bring on the ghost".

There is still the reference to the Rumpus Cat at the end, but no Pekes and Pollicles in this one guys.

Fuck yeah, it's Skimbleshanks time! And he is amazing! The voice on Anakin Jace White guys!

They're looking for him in the beginning and they were able to cover the actor in a way so it looks like he just pops up out of nowhere. The cast was also really good at being in sync as they mimed being a train.

They don't make a train out of trash, but instead there's a train set piece that they pull out and ride around on. It was huge, I'm surprised any of the actors could move it.

Macavity scare again, but he actually pops out of the train and captures Old Deuteronomy. Everyone scatters except for Bomba and Demeter as well as few other hanging out on the side.

I will say this first about the Macavity number: I am lesbian.

What do you want from me, Demeter and Bomba are inherently hot and they did some hot moves!

I felt like they toned down Demeter and Bomba's connection to Macavity in this one. I think their bigger focus was on the two and Griz rather than Macavity. Problem is I have no real idea why they're the one's singing Macavity in this version.

As per usual a bunch of other lady cats join the two for the end, but in this one Misto also joined them...go gay boy go!

All the other cats return to the stage as the Old Detueronomy fake out happens, but instead of Demeter being the one to figure it out and have to reveal it, Sillabub figured it out first followed by anyone who got close to him.

Bringing this up at the Macavity fight but they had a lot of male male lifts in this show and I loved that.

Y'all, the Macavity fight slapped so hard. First he's fighting off several jellicles. Then Munk rolls up and he brought out the whip guys! Munk and Mac start fighting, but Munk is thrown to the side, then Tugger steps in! And they made it so the three of them are brothers in this version so have that for your angst. Then my girls Bomba and Demeter get in on the fight! Then Jellylorum gets in there, but oh no! She's really injured! And all the cats get so mad at him, they all just start attacking and he's backed into a corner, but is able to escape via the hoop and disappears.

Instead of a Demter Munk spotlight moment, they instead have a few cats check on Jelly as she was still knocked out. Jelly's got it rough in this one guys.

Cassandra is the one to suggest that they ask Mistoffelees, very much his bestie/assistant in this version. Don't worry guys, Tugger is still singing the song and stands beside Cassandra as she argues that Misto is who they should go to.

Tugger is also king of being terrible at hiding his crush, but are we truly watching Cats if that's not the case?

They have a fakeout where it's assumed that Misto would appear but he does not.

They then have these two boards with Cats on them wheeled out and he pops out behind one of them, does his presto while throwing throwing confetti.

We get the dance number where he does magic tricks through out and did I keep occasionally glancing to Tugger during this time? Yes. If the jellicle ball has taught me anything it's to do that, otherwise you will miss a Tugger who is down bad. And I thought he looked pretty into Misto, but that could be the shipper goggles.

No 24 fuetes. RIP.

The magic trick to get Old D back was Misto putting Cassandra infisrt a box, spinning it and opening it again to reveal Old Deuteronomy.

Misto and Deuteronomy share a little hug, but Victoria gets the little run up and jump into his arms moment.

Misto has one last magic trick where he gets in a chair, a cloth is draped over him and then he disappears when it's pulled away. He misses Memory entirely.

Old Deuteronomy is about to make the choice when Grizabella arrives and sings Memory. She falls to the ground about a verse before she normally would and Emily Rohm you own my heart and soul, I was literally on the verge of tears throughout the whole thing.

Then Sillabub brings out the trapeze and Griz gets on it as she's lifted into the air for her big moment.

Sillabub is the one to touch her first but most of the cats either do the hand touching thing, with the exception of Demter and Bomba who hug her.

The trapeze that was over the audience is then brought down and Grizabella is helped onto it as she's chosen for the Heaviside Layer. Taking her over the audience as she ascends.

We then have the Ad-dressing of Cats and all the cats stand around Old Deuteronomy as he stands on the platform. Cute moment I caught was Tugger licking his lips at the lines about food.

At the end of Ad-dressing of Cats a young Grizabella comes back on the trapeze, played by, I'm assuming Tantomile's actress. She and I'm assuming Coricopat's actor then do a routine with the trapeze together and then the show comes to a close.

Overall I was very impressed with the production and I had a good time. I really loved it and the cast was great. I was worried that the circus performances wouldn't have the vocal range for the production but of the song cat voices at least, they were all really good, especially Dani Goldberg as Teazer. I still did have some issues with it. Like, I think they did Demeter and Bomba a little dirty in the characterization department, since they didn't feel too distinct from one another. Also unsure how to feel about Sillabub doing the touch.

But like I said, I really loved it. If you have a chance to go see it, go see it. I plan on seeing it at least too more times...although the drive is gonna kill me no matter what. It doesn't seem far till you actually have to drive there.

[captainsophiestark]

Who You Gonna Call?

Platonic!Ahsoka Tano x Reader

Masterlist - Join My Taglist!

Written for Fictober 2024! Requested by @ghostofskywalker! Hope you like it Tori! It took longer than planned lol, but it was very fun to write!

Fandom: Star Wars

Day Twenty-Nine Prompt: "How did this happen?"

Summary: When Ahsoka and R2 find themselves in a bit of a scrape, Ahsoka knows exactly who to call.

Word Count: 2,343

Category: Fluff, Humor, Chaos

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

Briiiiiiiing. Briiiiiiing.

I sighed at the sound of my communicator beeping for the third time in a row. I'd ignored incoming calls twice now, but apparently I was suddenly much more popular than I wanted to be. Or else, someone wasn't taking the hint.

It was supposed to be a rare day off for me from the duties of a Jedi and the war as a whole. One day was all I'd asked for, one day of true shore leave rest here on Coruscant without anything else going on or anyone bothering me. The morning had been lovely, and I'd found my way up to my favorite spot in the Coruscant Gardens to lay in the sun, read, and now nap. I'd barely managed to close my eyes, however, when my comm had started ringing like crazy.

When the rings repeated, I huffed a frustrated sigh and snapped my eyes open. I grabbed my communicator off the table beside me, then picked it up with a frown.

"Hello?"

"Thank the Force you finally answered!" Ahsoka's voice came over the line, sounding a few pitches more shrill than usual. I sat up, some of the annoyance fading to concern.

Ahsoka was Anakin's padawan, but I spent so much time with both of them that she was like a surrogate little sister to me. And I knew her well enough to notice the note of panic in her voice.

"What's wrong?" I asked, shifting forward in my seat and getting ready to stand. I didn't need to be Force sensative to get the feeling that my relaxing afternoon was just about over.

"I'm taking care of R2 for Anakin while he's away for the day, and the little guy's going absolutely crazy! He took off on me, and I barely managed to follow him through the Senate building to Senator Amidala's room. He's beeping and screeching and I can't figure out what's wrong! Anakin's gonna kill me if I don't get this fixed before he comes back. I need your help!"

I let out a long, long sigh, then stood on the inhale.

"Alright, I'm coming. I'll be there as fast as I can, just hold tight."

"Okay, but hurry!"

I hung up, quickly collecting my stuff before heading out of the gardens. I didn't want to deal with any crisis on my rare day off, but at least it was Ahsoka and R2 I'd be helping, and not Anakin after he got into an avoidable bar fight or something. If I had to pick between interruptions, I'd always choose one from Ahsoka.

Luckily, it didn't take me too long to get from the gardens to the Senate. Even more luckily, nobody even gave me a second glance as I speed-walked through the hallways to Senator Amidala's quarters.

Nobody was in the hallway outside her room, so I paused to knock on the door. After a moment's delay, the door opened just enough for Ahsoka to peek out into the hallway. She let out a breath and swung the door open as soon as she saw me.

"Thank goodness it's you. Come on, get in here before anybody sees you."

I did, stepping into the familiar space as Ahsoka shut the door behind me. My jaw dropped.

Padmé's living room had practically been torn apart. Cushions from the couch were scattered around the room, papers littered the floor, and a few of the chairs were actually upside down. I shook my head, then turned to Ahsoka in astonishment.

"How did this happen?" I asked. Ahsoka just threw up her hands.

"I don't know! R2 found a way in here by himself, and he wasn't that far ahead of me, so I can't imagine he had time to do this. Not to mention, I can't think of any reason he would. But now he's in the closet in the next room screeching and beeping like crazy, and he won't listen to me or come out! I can't even understand what he's trying to tell me!"

"Okay..." I said, my mind working on overdrive. Ahsoka was clearly no more than a few steps from panic, so for her sake, I had to keep it together. I thought of her as a little sister, and as the older sibling, it was on me to keep it together and help her as well as I could. "Alright, let's deal with R2 first. That way, we can hopefully figure out what's going on, and maybe get some help from the little guy putting all this stuff back."

Ahsoka nodded, following me closely as I headed in the direction she pointed. R2 had apparently holed up in the closet in Padmé's bedroom, and lo and behold, when I opened the closet door, there he was in the corner. His dome whipped around to look at me, and he started screaching so loud and fast that I couldn't make out anything he was trying to say.

"R2! What are you doing?" I asked, shaking my head and moving further into the closet. He screamed back at me, but again, the pitch was so sharp and so fast that I couldn't understand. I sighed. "Buddy, I love you, but you know Anakin's the only one who can understand you when you talk that fast. Slow down."

R2 didn't have lungs, but I swear he huffed at me before trying again. His words still weren't perfectly clear, but I distinctly made out "trap" and "Padmé" amongst just about every profanity in Basic and then some.

I frowned, dropping to my knees and scooting closer to the droid as he continued to whir and beep. Ahsoka spoke from behind me, and I didn't need to see her face to know she was frowing.

"I still couldn't understand most of what he just said. What's going on?"

"I heard the word 'trap'," I explained, leaning down to try to look more closely at the floor R2 was currently resting on. "Not sure what he's talking about, but that's what we're gonna figure out. Can you get me a little more light?"

Perfectly on cue, Ahsoka lit up her lightsaber. I grinned.

"Thanks."

I used a few tools provided by R2 to examine the part of the closet he was currently occupying as well as I could. I wasn't quite up to the same level of mechanical tinkerer as Anakin, but I could definitely make do in a pinch. After a few moments of squinting and finding ways to redirect Ahsoka's lightsaber light, I noticed the slightest depression in the floor, beneath the carpet.

It matched exactly where R2 was resting his weight, like some kind of sensor plate. I swore and leaned back quickly.

"What? What is it?" asked Ahsoka, dancing around me and glancing into the closet to try to see what had caused my reaction.

"R2's on some kind of pressure plate or something. I have no idea what it's connected to, or what will happen if he rolls off of it, but... I think we better figure that out, and quick."

Ahsoka and I immediately set to work trying to unearth whatever mechanism R2 was on the verge of triggering. I had enough forethought to ask R2 if he'd been responsible for any of the mess in the living room, to which he answered "of fucking course not". Since Padmé was one of the Senators most often targeted with threats or attemtps on her life, and her room had been torn to shreds before any of us had gotten here, Ahsoka and I were both on the highest of high alerts.

"R2, what made you come in here in the first place?" Ahsoka asked as I took out a pocket knife and started tearing up the carpet. Not great for putting this place back in order once we were done, but necessary for tracing back this mechanism to whatever it was linked with.

R2 responded, his beeps marginally calmer now that Ahsoka and I understood the problem and were working on solving it. He said he'd been plugged into one of the building's computer terminals and had found some electronics that weren't supposed to be there, along with a few suspicious messages. So, he'd come here to do something about it.

"But why didn't you tell me what you were doing?" Ahsoka continued. "You know I could've helped you, little buddy."

R2 screeched his response again, something along the lines of concern for Senator Amidala, since he hadn't been sure whether or not she was in her chambers. If she had been here, every extra second wasted could be enough for Padmé to unknowingly trip the trap and suffer whatever terrible fate someone had tried to set up.

I very carefully resisted the urge to point out that, almost certainly, Padmé was with Anakin today. We all knew it was probably true, but we all had a silent agreement not to talk about it unless Anakin finally brought it up himself.

After a little more work, I finally managed to trace some wiring back to the back wall of Padmé's closet. R2 was in a position that made examining where the wires led incredibly difficult, but we also didn't have much choice but to leave him where he was. I climbed on top of the little droid, leaning and manuevering to get the best angle possible, which still wasn't very good. This time, it was Ahsoka's turn to come to the rescue.

"Let me switch places with R2."

I straightened up immediately, facing her with a glare.

"Do you know how dangerous that would be? Both in the immediate, and in the long term? You're lucky I haven't thrown you out of this room yet to keep you safe, since R2 and I are the only ones who have to be in here."

Ahsoka feined shock, then looked around from side to side in sarcastic astonishment. I frowned more deeply as she looked back at me.

"That was strange. My master's not here, but I could swear I just heard him speak."

I huffed a long sigh and rolled my eyes. Ahsoka comparing me to Anakin was a low blow, and she knew it.

"Come on," she continued, moving forward and putting her foot next to R2's on the floor. "We both know I'm easier to maneuver around than R2, and there's no other way for you to get to whatever's back there."

I let out a long, long sigh, but stepped back out of the closet for a moment anway.

"Fine. But if I say run, you run."

"Got it."

I watched as R2 and Ahsoka carefully switched places, ready to help in an instant if either of them needed me. After some very cautious maneuvering, we finally landed with R2 out of the closet and Ahsoka making herself as small and out of the way of the back wall as possible while still keeping one foot on the pressure plate, pushing it down. Just like she'd said, I had much more room to look at and work on the back wall of the closet like this than with R2 crammed in here.

I pried back one of the panels of Padmé's closet, and I almost ruined everything by jumping back and taking Ahsoka with me. Someone had put a bomb in Padmé's closet.

"What? What is it?" demanded Ahsoka as I did my best to get a grip on myself. I swore and took a few deep breaths, then shook my head as I responded to her.

"It's a bomb. Holy shit, don't move. We need to get rid of this, now."

Ahsoka froze as I took my tools and got to work. There was no time or room in my mind for doubt, I just had to trust my skills and the Force and get this thing disarmed.

Time seemed to stop while I worked, but finally, I disconnected the last wire. I pulled the thing out of the wall, gently, and let out a long sigh.

"Okay, you can move," I said, stepping back into the bedroom with Ahsoka while R2 waited anxiously. "We need to get this down to the Coruscant guard, now. And obviously tell Anakin and Padmé when they come back. But, on the bright side, the trashed room is evidence. Which means we can't clean it up."

Ahsoka and I shared a smile, then she nodded, and the three of us headed out of Padmé's room, taking extra care to secure the door behind us. After a few steps, Ahsoka spoke up.

"When we tell Anakin the story... can we leave out the part where R2 almost got away from me, and I called you in a panic about it?"

I grinned. "I don't know. What do you think, R2?"

He chirped and hummed in a way that told us he was happy to go along with Ahsoka's idea.

"That sounds like a yes to me. For Anakin's sake, the three of us were being responsible and calm when we discovered the threat, and we almost immediately brought it to the Coruscant Guard. Without ever tripping any traps or sensor plates."

R2 gave a happy little chirp of agreement, and Ahsoka shot me a relieved smile while giving R2 a little pat on the head. We made it another few steps, R2 getting a little further ahead of us, before Ahsoka spoke up again, keeping her voice quiet.

"So why do you think R2 was checking Senator Amidala's wiring and security so carefully?"

I fought the urge to smile, and ended up with something closer to a smirk.

"Technically, he's her astromech, isn't he?" I said mildly. When I glanced over at Ahsoka, I found her grinning without bothering to try to stop it.

"That's right. Can't imagine there's any other reason."

"Of course not."

The two of us glanced at each other and shared a smile, then carefully returned our attention to the task ahead. Still, I don't think either of us were going to be surprised when Anakin and Padmé returned here at almost exactly the same time tonight.

We were just too good of friends to say anything about it. And Anakin knew us well enough to hold his own in the sibling war, if either of us decided to start it.

****************

Everything Taglist: @rosecentury @kmc1989 @space-helen @misshale21

[genericpuff]

just from a pure structure perspective the term struggle street doesn’t even flow well…it’s bulky and just doesn’t sound like something anybody would say. like I know this is nitpicky but it bothers me so much

so the thing about the term "struggle street" is that it's an actual (very old?) term used to describe living in poverty.

so yeah, not only does it NOT suit the context or sentence structure of what persephone is talking about (it's giving hardcore 'boomer trying to use gen z slang' vibes) but it also just doesn't suit persephone straight up, to say that persephone was living on 'struggle street' is just flat out wrong

yes, she struggled with her SA but like, rachel is trying to use that to justify persephone terrorizing people ? (esp because i'm p sure this was right after the tori bank scene which she was calling out people for criticizing ???) like she's definitely NOT poor (she's literally the heiress to a massive fortune AND married into wealth to boot) and no, actually, she's not allowed to use her trauma as an excuse or justification to hurt people. like i shouldn't even have to explain that when it comes to discussing a comic that's trying to be 'feminist' but here we are 💀

[fightingalgth8rs]

Help. https://www.tumblr.com/nightempire/780822610892226560/david-really-wrote-down-everything-michael-did

Zero integrity. Weak spine. Coward. Rock bottom. And so on.

Tinhatters are "destroying" DT while praising MS. Apparently he managed to do something that DT couldn't because he has no spine.

My question is what. What Michael has actually done? Left his gf and kids? He hasn't as far as I know. Are they saying this simply to create a false dichotomy to prepare the basis for some future "divorce" between MS and DT? The narrative would need to have a "villain" and a "hero/victim", and outside villains (wives) don't cut it anymore. Looking through ngo's blog I noticed that she follows this exact pattern in her new obsession, she villanizes Jayce while Victor is a pure innocent baby. She still ships them as a couple, but Jayce is constantly in the wrong and needs to beg forgiveness. (Very healthy, I know)

I sorta think that since her first choice of the DT/MS narrative - boys leaving their wives, publicly humiliating them and shacking up together- didn't work (it's simply too obvious now), she needs this new dramatic narrative turn: one of them turned out to be a weak coward. He sauntered vaguely downwards and lost his paradise etc.

Looking forward to watching this narrative unfold if I'm right. Should be fun.

Oh, and she lied, of course. She just posted this, so her twittering about losing interest in DT was just that, twittering.

P.S. It's fun psychoanalizing tinhatters, I found. To give them back a bit of what they dish out about celebrity strangers.

I really think she’s smoking crack. Something is not okay here. This is a psychotic break. She’s lost her fucking mind. This sounds like what Tori’s stalker sounded like right before she got arrested.

Oh btw I’m on a completely spur of the moment road trip since like noon so everything I’m saying is what I am able to type with cell service. This comes to you from a gas station in COLORADO. I’m sitting in my car trying to fucking comprehend what is happening here

[zappedbyzabka]

Some of my general thoughts on CK season 6 part 3

Ralph and Billy's tearful scenes with 'Miyagi' and Kreese were phenomenal. They're such great actors 10/10.

I have a lot to say about Johnny's scene with Kreese but just to keep things short, I'll talk about that another time. But wow wow wow. Dominique Swain applauds.

Daniel's nonstop anxiety about his family getting hurt :/ least he had fun getting tipsy with his wife. Amanda looked gorgeous with that new hair (though she always does.) He really tapped into offense side this season. Looove how he knew exactly what to say to make Silver blank-face and leave lmao.

I'm SOOOO never getting over 'You're alright, Lawrence!' and lawrusso recreating the nose swipe scene with Daniel acting as Kreese for Johnny to inspire him. Johnny was MUCH enjoying that.

Daniel basically buying Johnny his building back?😭 AGHHHH. 'I believe in you'....

Tory being dressed in the same gi as young Johnny, and Robby being dressed in the Miyagi Do gi with a hurt leg—paralleling Daniel—in combination with those scenes being where they get back together makes me insane. Like, lawrusso in another universe.

I feel Robby could have gotten a more smoothed out and rewarding end but at the same time, I'm glad he's happy and taken care of now. Angel.

Sam and Tory's scenes together were so heartwarming. Especially the scene of Tory getting emotional over the LaRusso's kindness and generosity to her. Finally getting some one on one with Daniel and Johnny.

When Sam brought up having something to tell Daniel but being worried he'd be disappointed in her, my mind instantly went to a coming out scene tbh.

The montage of binary boyfriends and samtory as Bobby's reading the vows? What are you trying to say???

Bobby and Johnny meeting up again <333 Bobby still gives him that special 'I would actually do for you' stare (whether platonic or not) and I squeal about it. I love that Ron got some time to shine<333 I thought Jimmy would appear, but he sadly did not.

I also thought Anoush was gay but I was obviously mistaken since he was kissing Ralph's daughter (Julia's performance was hilarious.)

Silver speeding away with Johnny in that car was crazyyy. Billy had yet another Scott (not the werewolf) Mccall moment except he didn't get locked in a tower this time. You would've thought the employees would have seen Silver in the papers months ago and called the cops.

His envy over Daniel and Johnny having things to live for and people that actually love them was sad—especially with him being ill. If you think about it, Kreese was all he had besides the money, and when he didn't have Kreese the only way he had anyone around him was pretending to be someone else.

His jealousy over Kreese's love for Johnny really shined through as well with that 'I don't know why you messed up what I was doing with Kreese' (paraphrasing) and the way he called Kreese pathetic for groveling to Johnny no matter how many times he rejected him. Silver felt that he himself was pathetic for having always crawled back to Kreese no matter the rejection he faced.

Also the fucking grenade boat explosion scene??? INSANE???? Literally died in each other's arms. I know many people have problems with it but I don't see what else they really could have done for the two villains with endless crimes (which I love about them alright) that wouldn't be worse.

Think about how Silver probably thought he'd die alone, but didn't. When I realized Kreese was set on offing himself and taking Silver with him the whole time, and that was the reason he spent most of his scenes apologizing to the last few people he loved...

Would like to know more about what happened to Wolf. His bitchiness almost rivaled Johnny's, and damn did he eat up every scene he was in. Just a great character.

Johnny with the tailor? There's my prissy brat.

Considering everything wrong with the baby plot, I at least liked how they did end up choosing to show it. Johnny going full girl dad and being so sweet and coddling to the baby + Miguel and Robby made my heart SOAR. He's always been tender with them but the writers never really did let him to just relax and love. He deserves to be happy, like every imperfect victim irl and in fiction who gets bashed for not meeting people's standards does.

Carmen is a baddie. Just chilling truly