#and if this isn’t obvious yet: I mean ‘body count’ as a kill count

[forgetful-nerd]

What do you mean turtles are highly trained ninjas? They’re just silly little goobers!

[reywritings]

The View from Here

A chance meeting on a balcony might just lead to a new daily routine.

Jason Todd x Reader, No use of Y/N, Gender Neutral Reader

This is my first time posting. So here goes, I guess?

______________________________________________________________

In all honesty, you were pretty sure your neighbor hated you.

Nobody got particularly close with their ‘neighbors’ in this apartment building, but you wouldn’t have exactly minded getting close in this one instance.

Your recently new neighbor was… big. ‘Built like a tank’ big. ‘Built like a brick house’ big. He wore those worn, leather jackets and had a strikingly beautiful face, with soft scars across his cheek bone. And yet... he had this quiet air about him. A mystery, and you did enjoy a good Agatha Christie novel.

You barely interacted other than waves in the hall, but you could swear he picked his pace up when you were in the hall, alone together. He definitely wasn’t afraid of you, not when he could probably throw you at the nearest wall and leave a you-shaped hole like some looney toons bit.

So, the obvious choice was that he simply disliked you. Which wasn’t a big deal at all! You don’t even know him, why would you care?

…you cared SO much.

It was around the fourth month of you being neighbors, when it happened.

Jason had been having a rough night. A rough week—a rough life. He could still feel the bruises on his side from the previous night. He hadn’t seen the tail swinging his way– and when he hit that cement wall, he swore he heard something crack. Next time, Dick can call Tim or Cass to help him reign in Killer Croc.

Ultimately, his typical ruminating, and now sore side, led to lack of sleep—so here he was, the next afternoon, on his balcony for a smoke break. What a view—an overlook of the turnpike, an old Denny’s and NJ Transit tracks. Yeah, definitely worth the balcony prices.

He hears a sliding door open and glances over to see���oh shit. His neighbor. They were standing there holding some books, a mug of either coffee or tea, presumably, and a surprised look on their face.

…he wasn’t sure if this was an upside to his day or not.

Don’t get him wrong, he liked his neighbor. A bit too much.

So, when you gave a small, stilted wave and took a seat on the old, plastic chair that came with the apartment balcony, he nodded back. And that was it.

…Although, he was a bit curious as to what you were reading. Maybe a peek couldn’t hurt. If that peek didn’t turn into him turning his head to try and read the title, which was turned at just an angle that he can’t see it.

He sighs, looking back up to see you already glancing at him. Did you see that?

Okay. Embarrassing, but it’s fine. It’s not like he had outright made a fool of himself in front of you.

“I like books.” Why did he have to say that?! He blinks as you look up from your book, eyes widened at his sudden proclamation. “...I have a big collection…also...”

There’s a singular beat and he ponders if a fall from this height would kill him.

“Really?”

The question isn’t mocking or in disbelief, just… almost an undertone of excitement to it.

You glance around; a bit nervous—but this was your chance.

“...do you have a favorite boo—” You cut yourself off. “Sorry, dumb question. I mean who can pick ONE favorite. Okay, what are some of your favorites?”

And suddenly, it was like Jason’s tension left his body.

“That’s for sure. I appreciate a lot of the classics. The Count of Monte Cristo is a great one, Frankenstein, too.” He was deeply aware of how ironic his choices were, not that you knew.

“I love Mary Shelley.” You blurt out and then realize you might have been a bit TOO excited. “…I appreciate her literature and overall gothic nature…”

Jason laughs at that. Of course you had good taste. This… this wasn’t good. He should pull away again. Put his cigarette out, go back inside and pretend this never happened. Right?

“So what are you reading now?” He hears himself ask.

“Anna Karina. I just started it.” You smile at him, and God, was it devastating.

He feels himself give a soft smile back. “You’re gonna love it.”

“…So.” You decide to take your chance. “Aside from your ‘big book collection’, what else do you enjoy?”

You can’t help but notice how quiet he gets and curse yourself for being so forward.

Please don’t be scared away, please don’t be scared away—

Meanwhile, Jason’s mind blanks as he racks himself for a hobby aside from vigilantism, sparring and training for said vigilantism, cleaning his guns—

“I cook.” He says, albeit a bit stilted.

Oh. Oh. Really? He’s charming, handsome, smart, reads and cooks? You come to terms that you’re already long gone.

“So that’s what smells so good? I think our vents are connected… and I can smell something good cooking from somewhere. Now I know.” You grin. Okay, maybe the words were a bit flirtatious, but hey—seemed like tonight was all about uncharacteristically taking chances.

“…you think so?” A compliment. A genuine one. Jason wasn’t sure how to take that... but if you kept smiling like that when you said them, maybe he could get used to it.

“Is that what you do for work? It sure smells professional.” You say, fully buttering him up at this point—but also not lying. It did smell like a Michelin star restaurant from the vents on your shared wall. You wondered where he learned that.

“Ah, no. I do security work.” Jason lets his usual cover slip out, and kind of wishes he hadn’t. It seemed too suspicious—what if you thought he worked for Penguin or someone? That surely would drive you away… not that what he actually did was any safer.

“...like at bars?” You question.

“Yes. Bars, clubs… the like.” Yes, that sounded better. Jason pats himself on the back, although it was you who proposed it unknowingly.

“Yikes, that would freak me out. I mean—running security in Gotham?” You joke a bit, but there’s a serious hint of concern in your tone. It’s touching. You barely knew him and yet…

Jason smiles, shaking his head as he puts out his now stub of a cigarette.

“Nah, I can handle myself. Don’t worry about me.”

You eye him, and he internally squirms under your gaze. His job had him reading people all the time but… he seemed at a loss when it came to you. You and your deep, understanding gaze.

“…I’m still going to. But thanks for the reassurance.” You say, softly.

Oh. Jason is at a loss again, and he sees you move to stand up, your face only illuminated by the glow from within your apartment, behind those sliding glass doors.

“Oh wow, when did it get so late?”

He hears you ask as he drags his eyes away from you, letting them fall onto the turnpike and train tracks below. Eyes following the ashes of cigarette, chasing the after essence of the burn. The earlier commute traffic dwindled. The dim roads, illuminated by streetlights now.

“Yeah, it is late…” Jason frowns. “I have work soon.”

You look back with an understanding nod. He swears he sees a hint of disappointment in your eyes.

“That makes sense. Night shift and all…” You trail off a bit. “…I oughta get inside anyways. Can’t read in the dark, anyways.” He watches you open the sliding door again, pausing to glance back at him. Jason can study the way the light falls in soft streams from behind you. He finds himself wishing he had a photographic memory in that exact moment.

“…stay safe for me?”

He blinks and then feels himself nod. “Yeah. Will do.”

The guilt of the empty promise is soon replaced when those words earn him that saccharine smile.

“See you tomorrow…?” You ask, rather hopeful. A wishing of ‘let this be the first of many’ hidden under your plain question.

In that moment, Jason decides maybe his promise wasn’t so empty after all. He’d make sure to be extra careful tonight.

“See you then.”

After all, he had something important tomorrow. 

[anomaly-hivemind]

Knightly Presence ☆ Bruce Wayne x Reader | Kinktober Day 27

Summary:  Going home with a stranger isn’t the smartest thing a person can do, even if he’s famous, but here we are.

Word Count: 1092

Tags: Bat Demon Bruce Wayne, Telepathy, teasing, Edging, orgasm denial,

No one would blame you for thinking with your body from time to time as long as no one gets hurt in the present or future because of it. So when the mysterious yet famous billionaire asked you of all people to go back to his place at the bar… you said yes without batting an eye.  You got to his place, wasting no time stripping and getting in his bed. 

Then to your surprise, he changed before your eyes, he was still the Bruce Wayne everyone saw him as but he did have a few newer accessories as he stood at the edge of the bed.  His ears changed from human ones to large upturned bat ones, His teeth seemed to perturb and become sharper,  his eyes went completely blue like his irises had explanted and the most obvious thing was the large dark bat wings. 

You just stare at him in shock before picking your jaw off the floor, you look at him. He was looking at you intently as if he was contemplating something. Maybe he was thinking about eating you while you were also thinking about him eating you… just in a more sexy way. You didn’t expect to feel what feels like hands on your body, caressing your breasts and playing with your folds. Before you can get up, you feel another hand holding you down onto the plush sheets.  You look up at the shadow of the famous man who was less man with every shift of his features. 

“Hey, what's going on here?” You shiver as you feel the invisible hand pushing between your folds.

“You're taking this surprisingly… well,” he muttered, his voice his normal low voice, even if it was a little distorted. 

“Are you going to kill me?” You moaned out a whine as the feeling stopped just when it started to get good, giving you no more stimulation and causing you to pout. 

He doesn't answer for a moment, only shaking his head to give you a silent no. You let out a huff when you feel something you can’t see push into your entrance. You get distracted as you move in and out of your leisurely. It was weird having something inside of you when you could see or actually grab for it. 

“I would much rather be feeling you inside me than whatever this is.”  You whined when the feeling stopped again. It caused you to let out another sound of frustration. It doesn't help when the feeling moves to feeling you up in another place, that being up at your chest again. 

You really did mean your words, and you almost think that your needy wish was going to be granted when he crawls over on the bed to get on top of you, but he doesn't make a move to touch you. At least not with his hands on his body,  you can see all of his unnaturalness. Yet he was still his handsome and brooding self. You want to beg him to touch you or at least do something, but you don't want to sound pathetic, so you bite your tongue.  Bruce looks down at you with his bright blue eyes and looks down at your naked body as he contemplates what he’s going to do next to you. 

You let out a loud moan as you feel what you assume was his dick slip inside you. Moving your arms to hold on to him and try to pull his unbudging body. You look done to see that you were, in fact not connected that way and let out a disappointed sigh. The phantom cock slides in and out of you, and you hate to admit it does feel good.

“What was the point of bringing me here if you don’t plan on fucking me for real,” you whined, a bit you could feel yourself getting close to climax. 

“Plan on it… just… wait.” Bruce lets out a few quiet groans, and his long bat ears twitch a couple of times. His reaction caused a thought to cross your mind, and you had to ask before you got lost in your hurdling climax. 

“Can you feel this too?” you whispered with a shaky voice. 

Bruce gives you a short nod as he places his hands on your hips.  You feel yourself getting thrust into you with no real connection. You close your eyes to feel your climax, but all the sensation goes away again, and you look up as you mutter a string of half-hearted curses as you feel your climax go away. Drifting away along with your walking on the water, you would have gotten if you were actually fucking. 

“Not yet.” he gives you a sharp tooth grin that gives you all you need to know that he did it on purpose.

You feel him start up again, and everything works its way to bringing you back to climax. you let out soft moans and hoped that something about you would entice the nonhuman man to claim your body. Everything was going so right if you closed your eyes and pictures and if you were getting the real thing.  You wondered if this was how his cock felt for real or if it was even human looking in the first place. You close your eyes to feel your climax, but all the sensation goes away again, and you look up as you mutter a string of half-hearted curses as you feel your climax go away. 

“Are you some demon?!” you whined as you were denied another chance to cum. The whole ordeal makes you frustrated and even more sensitive as he starts up again, this time letting you feel the real thing. 

“Yes.” He pushed himself inside of you for real this time, and you let out a relieved sigh, thinking that his testing was finally over and you would get to cum around his actual meat. 

Unfortunately, that wasn't the case, and you had to deal with a string of getting close to the peak only for you to rip away from it. Your eyes watered with need, and you catch yourself actually begging for the man to fuck you correctly and to let you cum if only just once. You guess this is what you get sleeping with a demon. But no one could have blamed you but yourself for tangoing with a literal demon, not that anyone would know that Bruce Wayne is A bat demon…Oh and that he’s Batman

[sugar-crash]

🏎️Turbo (Wreck-It Ralph) x (gn) Reader🏁

(His Last and Only Love Edition)

(Picture’s not mine!)

(Request here! Howdy hey! Sorry for being a little lump in the log lol)

- With how inherently loyal and caring this kind of reader is, I don’t think it’d be much of a stretch to say he’d take them for granted.

- Like having a sort of carelessness about your relationship that’s a constant all throughout it, sees it in a “They’re going to love regardless of what I do” sort of way.

- Spawns an unhealthy dynamic between you two if that isn’t obvious already, denies that he depends on your affection but to the people who really pay attention see that he’s lying through his teeth, you both metaphorically cling to each other like an unhealthy symbiotic relationship.

- Turbo is really a parasite even before he worms his way into Sugar Rush. And you probably are as well, considering you follow him from Turbo Time to Sugar Rush after he systematically ruined two worlds in one day. Unwilling to let go of an idealized fantasy.

- Entitled to a frightening degree, for not only his fame but also your affections, keeping you close but also pushing you away— His actions are confusing and dangerous but you simply can’t find yourself in the haze of being his lover. It was what you were made to do.

- It feels like an act at times, especially when you’re both in Sugar Rush, the overdramatized version of himself that tries to play your relationship off as whatever you both decide it to be.

- I kinda like the idea of you being a jester of some sort over a ruler alongside him as KC, I mean, the original use for a jester was not only for amusement— But also stress relief among other things.

- That and the symbolism of being a lovesick fool, blinded by their own desire to keep Turbo happy, wearing the makeup and the clothing of one feels fitting.

- But there’s also potential in the reader being another ruler, being the quiet one in comparison to the talkative and enthusiastic persona Turbo portrays as KC, a metaphorical doormat of a ruler that lets their husband command Sugar Rush in a unfair society that’s thinly veiled under all that positive image and wanting what’s “best”.

- And all you can do is nod, you’ve never gone against him, even at his worst, why would that change now?

- There’s so many reasons why you’d do something like this, probably too many to count, maybe it’s simply the way you are, or you were influenced by the people you care about to be like this, who knows?

- But what we do know is that you both are each other’s folly all the while being quite literally being made for one another, people expected you to be there alongside Turbo. The doting S/O. The hopelessly devoted.

- I see it in a way that I see Simon and Betty from Adventure Time, albeit far more unhinged, your very being has been based upon him, is there anything beyond that? That’s for you to decide and come to terms with if you don’t want to be delegated to simply being his.

- Would you have the opportunity to? Or would you be loyal till the very nasty end? Stuck in a body that was mutated with the compulsion to be lured to a thing that would kill you indefinitely?

- You have always sacrificed so much for him, whether it be various friendships, opportunities, or options. So much. Are you willing to sacrifice yourself as well?

- A love like that is just draining, an aching for a man that undermines your heart for the sake of being “better” in all things he deems worthy.

- He does so little yet so much to keep you from falling out of love with him, honey coated promises and the way he just knows what to say when he feels as if you’re pulling away, even if it’s rare.

- By the end of it, you probably can’t even recognize him anymore, who is this person? And why does it hurt to love him? Why do you need a person you know can be so volatile?

- Are you partly afraid of him? Do the things he does concern you? Those kinds of thoughts are a common occurrence between the two of you, even as the years go by and you both find yourself tangled up in a lie of your own making.

- Death is more than likely the only way you guys separate, but would the damage be too great after tearing the tumor from the host?

(.-- .... --- / .. ... / - .... . / - ..- -- --- .-. / .- -. -.. / .-- .... --- / .. ... / - .... . / .... --- ... - ..--..)

[auras-moonstone]

high infidelity — ethan landry

word count: 1,910

pairing: ethan landry x fem!reader

summary: y/n and chad are in a dying relationship and ethan brings y/n back to life.

warnings: cheating (try not to do that!). fluff (might be a bit cringey??). sexual tension.

author’s note: i’m sorry if this isn’t super great, but my inspiration left the chat this week and college has been super hard too :(

EVER SINCE LIV’S DEATH, CHAD HAD CLUNG ONTO Y/N AS IF SHE WAS THE LIFEBUOY THAT KEPT HIM FROM DROWNING. At first, she was thrilled because she had had a crush on him for way too long. But eventually, he started healing and slowly began to pull away from her, yet not quite letting go. It was a miserable place to be for Y/N, and she was left trying to hold onto the remaining pieces of the relationship that meant a lot to her.

Chad was the first person Y/N had ever loved, and she really thought it was going to last forever. Looking now, she cursed herself for being such a hopeless romantic and creating too much expectations for a teenage relationship, especially for being her first one. Hell, she had even followed Chad all the way to New York.

As soon as they stepped foot in the city, Y/N panicked. A new reason not to break up with him just entered the list—if she did, she would be alone, in an unknown city where she didn’t have anyone but him. Because that was the truth, while she really liked Mindy, Sam and Tara, they weren’t her family as much as they were Chad’s.

They included her in their plans, but that didn’t mean she felt part of the group. She would’ve felt really lonely if it weren’t for Ethan Landry, her boyfriend’s roommate, who understood her silences like no one else and made her days lit up with just the sight of his smile. Two introverted loners who found a safe place in the other.

Y/N’s name had been engraved on Ethan’s heart since the very first day he saw her. He was disappointed to find out her heart belonged to his roommate, but it didn’t take him long to realize that maybe that wasn’t quite true—yes, Chad held her heart, but it didn’t belong to him. It was obvious Chad didn’t love her enough, and it was slowly killing her.

It boiled Ethan’s blood. Chad didn’t realize he was lucky enough to have the most amazing girl in his arms and he had been taking her for granted and neglecting her. And Y/N didn’t realize Ethan was there, willing to lover her with all his heart and show her the appreciation she deserved, and instead she was dancing around the truth of her dying relationship. Why couldn’t she see him?

Yet everything changed on April 29th. As almost every Friday, Chad had dragged her girlfriend and best friend to a frat party despite their countless complaints.

“Chad, you know I don’t feel comfortable at these parties. It’s not my scenery. I can’t stand crowded places and loud music” Y/N continued to fight her case.

“Stop complaining for one day” Chad groaned. “Don’t be boring, it’s just for a couple of hours and I’ll be right there with you.”

Y/N rolled her eyes, she wanted to yell so many truths. It made her a bit annoyed that Chad couldn’t understand she wasn’t being “boring”, she genuinely felt anxious and suffocated. She didn’t even understand why Chad wanted her there, considering that within the first five minutes he would leave her alone to talk to some frat boys or to get wasted.

“Hey, it’s fine. If you really can’t stand it, we’ll leave” Ethan said in a low voice, squeezing her shoulder in reassurance.

“Okay” she nodded, her body relaxing a bit. Why couldn’t Chad be more understanding?

CHAD DIDN’T EVEN WAIT FOR Y/N TO ENTER THE HOUSE BEFORE HE LOST HIMSELF IN THE CROWD OF PISSED PEOPLE. Once again, Y/N was left behind by him and if it weren’t for Ethan, she would have been completely alone in an unsettling place.

“Are you okay?” Ethan asked, noticing her tense shoulders.

“Just want the night to be over” she sighed. “I’m going to get a drink, you want one?”

“Sure” the boy nodded.

Pushing and shoving, she managed to get to the table filled with drinks. Knowing Ethan wasn’t really a huge fan of alcohol, she chose the less strong drinks. She turned around, cups in hand, ready to go back to Ethan when she slammed into a hard chest.

“Hey, gorgeous” a tall guy she didn’t know spoke. The strong scent of vodka invaded her nose and she couldn’t help but scrunch her nose in disgust.

“Um, hi. Could you move, please?” she asked politely.

“Dance with me” it wasn’t a question, more like a command.

She scoffed “Go bother someone else”

“Playing hard to get? I like it” he smirked, grabbing her waist. She tried to step back, not being able to do anything with her occupied hands, but the guy wouldn’t let her.

“Let me go” she glared up at him.

Before the unknown guy could respond, she was pulled away from him and new hands gripped her hips. This time, she leaned into the touch, recognising the strong male cologne coming from behind her. The protective and strong grip made her feel relaxed and secured, the way she always felt when he was around.

“Are you deaf? Back away from her” Ethan’s tone was new to her ears. It was confident, threatening and harsh. This side of Ethan was hot, and Y/N’s body grew warm.

“Sorry, didn’t know she had a boyfriend” the guy stepped back.

“Doesn’t matter if she has a boyfriend or not, she said no, so you walk away and leave her alone, got it?” Ethan spoke between his teeth. Once the guy left, his soft demeanour came back, but Y/N couldn’t stop replaying the way he had acted a few seconds ago. “Did he hurt you?”

Y/N shook her head, staring at him intensely. “Thank you” she said in a low tone. The lust she was feeling clouded all her senses, and it was hard to do anything but stare at him.

Her eyes spelled desire, and while Ethan could sometimes be oblivious, he was definitely not stupid. “You can’t look at me like that” his tone was a bit shaky.

“You are looking at me the same way, Ethan. That’s kinda hypocritical” she said, not taking her eyes off him as she took a sip from her drink.

He clenched his jaw and backed her into a corner. Her back collided harshly against the wall but that’s not why she gasped. One of Ethan’s thighs sneaked between hers, applying a bit of pressure to her heat. And if she hadn’t been aroused before, she definitely was now.

“You look so fucking hot tonight” he used that tone she recently discovered and was already a fan of.

Her hands gripped his biceps and her doe eyes almost made him collapse to the ground. Her look was one of need, but they also held sweetness and adoration and Ethan swore it was his downfall.

“Ethan” she said his name unlike ever before. She wasn’t just calling him, it was the recognition of something she had known for a while and was finally ready to admit.

“Yes?” he said hopeful. Their lips were close, yet not daring to touch. The desire was so strong that the gravity was becoming too much.

They were on a treacherous slope, and the smart thing would be to walk away but it felt like they were standing on quicksand. And while the path they were about to began was reckless, they knew it was worth it.

“I like you” she finally said.

The party and the people went out of focus in that moment. Ethan had dreamed about those words coming out of her mouth for so many months that finally hearing them in real life almost made him cry. He couldn’t help it, and before he realized what he was doing his lips captured hers.

It was like her heart started again, as if that kiss brought her back to life. Feelings Y/N thought were buried after her failed relationship with Chad had been slowly starting to make their way towards the surface once she began to spend time with Ethan. And now, right there in the dimly lit room, with music so loud it caused a migraine, and his body pressed against hers, they had finally reached the surface.

IN THE MORNING, Y/N WOKE UP WITH THE WEIGHT OF ETHAN’S BODY OVER HER. It took a few seconds for the memories to sink in, but once they did, her face broke into a smile. She looked down and had to fight the urge to grab her phone and take a picture—the boy had his face hidden on the crook of her neck as he breathed peacefully, his unfairly long eyelashes tickling her skin and his strong arm around her bare stomach. How could someone be that beautiful? Ethan was mesmerising and breathtaking, a literal angel.

He woke up a few minutes later, and his confused face was probably the cutest thing Y/N had ever witnessed. And then, when he caught sight of her, his entire being lit up and constellations appeared in his eyes.

“So it wasn’t a dream” he spoke with a raspy voice.

Y/N threw her head back laughing “Hi, you look really cute in the morning. I could get used to it.”

“I would love to get up like this every morning” he said with a lovey smile, “Though maybe we should talk about what we are going to do.”

Y/N nodded “Yeah. Well, I know I’m going to break up with Chad. But should I tell him about this… us?”

“He’s going to be furious, things are going to get awkward, and he’s probably going to hate us… but lying would be worse.” Ethan said, and she hummed in agreement. “Do you think I should be there? When you tell him, I mean.”

She thought about it for a second and then shook her head “I don’t think that’s a good idea. That might be too overwhelming for him”

Ethan nodded and silence filled the room for a few minutes. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course” she relied softly.

“Are you sure about me? I mean, I’m not some kind of getaway car, am I?” Ethan asked, the insecurity in his voice broke Y/N’s heart.

“Eth, no. Absolutely not” she sat up, face expression as serious as her voice. “You know, before I met you, I thought I was in love with Chad. And then you came and made me feel at home, protected, at peace and you made me realize that while I do hold love for Chad, I’m not in love with him.”

“And… are you in love with me?” he asked unsure.

Y/N smiled and peck his lips. “I’m so in love with you that every time you’re around my chest feels like exploding”

Ethan finally smiled and pulled her to his bare chest so she could feel his heartbeats. “I’m in love with you, too, as you can tell. To be honest, I’ve known it since the first time I met you.”

“I’m sorry I made you wait for so long. If I hadn’t been so scared, maybe I would’ve realized it sooner. It was kinda obvious, though. You have become my happy place.”

“You say the sweetest things, you’re going to melt my heart, love” Ethan said, looking at her completely enamoured.

“I feel like I should warn you—I’m the clingiest, most cheesy and affectionate girl in the world.”

“Warnings taken, I’m still staying.”

“Are you sure? You still have the opportunity to ran away” she said with a teasing smirk.

“Why would I ran away from my happy place?”

[voxofthevoid]

JJK Teasers: May 2025

Chapter 7/7 of i can offer you a black-lit paradise

“I can hear you thinking.”

Megumi closes his eyes, more exasperated than surprised. Of course Gojou also woke up.

He turns his head, and there he is, lying on his side facing Megumi. Twin pools of toxic blue irradiate the air between them. At least there’s space—enough to fit a whole third body.

Megumi looks at him for long enough that the world beyond those eyes start to blur, imprisoning him in an azure glow. His thoughts run a mile a minute, always coming back to the same thing.

“Why?”

Gojou blinks, a leisurely sweep of the lashes that lets Megumi free himself. He screws his eyes shut, but the blue lingers.

“You’ll have to be a little clearer, Megumi,” Gojou murmurs.

“No, I don’t,” he says, convinced of its truth. Still, he adds, “Itadori. Me. You did this on purpose.”

A little huff, rancid with amusement. “Are you accusing me of playing matchmaker?”

No. That’s too banal a description for what Gojou did, what he is.

“Why?” Megumi repeats calmly.

“Like I said,” Gojou says, “you’ll have to be clearer.”

Megumi grits his teeth before he does something that Itadori definitely will hear. He drags in a breath, lets it out, and says, “You want him. You have him. Why drag me in?”

Chapter 4/10 of taking the flesh is the only virtue

Hot hands spread him wide open, and the lube falls from Kento’s startled fingers.

“Itadori-kun, what’re you—”

It ends on a strangled shout, torn out of his throat as Itadori licks into him.

His arm gives out from under him, but his knees are steady, ass still raised. It’s kept raised, Itadori’s grip carving fresh bruises into his muscles while he buries his whole face against Kento’s ass. It’s hot, Itadori’s breath and his mouth. Heat lashes at his hole, every stroke of Itadori’s tongue wet and fucking filthy. Sloppy too, more frenzy than finesse, but the same hunger than bruised Kento’s throat is now stirring up his insides, all barbed, biting heat. 

Soft, strangled noises fill the air, and it takes Kento a moment to realize they’re coming from him, louder and harsher than breathy noises bursting open against his hole while Itadori tries to inhale him by the flesh.

“Itadori,” Kento forces out, every syllable scraping his throat. “Itadori, you—”

Itadori stabs his tongue deep, and Kento cuts off with a cry, slamming a hand over his mouth before anything else can escape. The boy eating him out isn’t deterred by the silence, just twisting his tongue inside Kento like he can’t get enough of the taste.

Chapter 7/24 of (this is also part of the story) how the story changes

“Hey, Yuuji, what exactly is your relationship with my counterpart?”

“Satoru’s mine,” Yuuji says without missing a beat.

Satoru looks up at him, digging his chin into Yuuji’s chest. “But are you his?”

“Of course.” Everything from Yuuji’s voice to his expression says that should be obvious. It’s honestly kind of cute.

Still, that means Satoru really needs to ask, “So, does this count as cheating?”

“No. Why would it?” Yuuji just looks more bemused. “You’re Satoru.”

“I’m not your Satoru though.”

“What does it matter?” Yuuji’s arm tightens around him again, but this time, the intent layering it feels…different. “All Satorus are mine.”

Ah.

Satoru allows himself a moment to just close his eyes and breathe.

That shouldn’t be flattering. It sure as shit shouldn’t be reassuring, especially when he’s not even the source of Yuuji’s feelings. But it’s been a damn long time since Satoru’s belonged to someone, since he’s wanted to. He doesn’t know if he wants to even now, but this isn’t his reality—not now, not yet.

It could be.

If his Yuuji wants it, if Satoru lets him, it could be.

And then his mind decides to flip that statement.

“Wait a minute,” Satoru says slowly, dimly aware of his hand stilling on Yuuji’s dick. “Your Satoru wouldn’t happen to feel the same about my Yuuji, would he?”

Chapter 2/14 of the ghost in me was true (but you were haunted too)

“I could always kill them again,” Satoru says very mildly.

Yuuji flicks his forehead, nail sharpening into a claw for an extra sting. “The only reason you got away with it last time was because it was only one faction, and they kinda kidnapped me with three fingers still left. No one would support you if you did it now.”

“You’d be surprised.”

“Peaceful revolution,” Yuuji says pointedly, “through education. Your words.”

“You underestimate what I’d do for you,” Satoru says, not for the first time. “I’ve been sitting on that finger since two-thousand-eighteen, you know.”

Yuuji’s eyes widen comically; it’s very satisfying. “Satoru, you—”

“I’d have held on to it forever if I had to,” Satoru says. “But those cowardly fossils are getting pretty restless. And it’s not just one faction this time. If I have to listen to them argue about the best time and method to kill you one more time, I really will slaughter the whole lot. And then you’ll be mad at me.”

Yuuji lets out a choked laugh. “That’s the problem here, huh?”

“You being mad at me is always worse than the entire world hating me,” Satoru says, suffocatingly sincere; Yuuji’s mouth trembles silently. “Know what would be even worse?”

“What?” Yuuji murmurs.

“You dying.”

“Satoru…”

“I didn’t bring you here to kill you. And I won’t let anyone else touch you. But you can’t stay here, Yuuji.”

Chapter 15/18 of (let me be clear) every version of the story ends with you being slaughtered

“I’m afraid I don’t understand what you’re saying. What, exactly, am I supposed to do?”

Satoru like doing this sometimes. Most of the times. He likes hearing Yuuji say things.

Perversely, this is easier than all the things Yuuji had to learn to shape with his mouth to please Satoru.

“Kill me,” he says softly.

Satoru is silent.

He’s silent for so long that Yuuji blinks hot, dry eyes and drags them away from the ceiling, looking carefully at the center of Satoru’s forehead. His hair’s disheveled—a pale, pretty mess that makes Yuuji’s fingers ache. He curls his hands into fists.

A simmering eternity later, Satoru sighs.

Yuuji nearly flinches.

“You need to rest,” Satoru says; he sounds more weary than anything else. “I’ll make you something quick to eat. Go take that shower and then sleep.”

Yuuji watches Satoru turn away from him, leaving the couch to make his way to the kitchen with long, easy strides. There’s not an iota of tension lining his body, and yet, the air is thick with it. Yuuji’s eyes catch on the broad line of his shoulders. It’s thick and strong; Yuuji knows this. They’re strong enough to bear the weight of a world that’s full of monsters and men and men who are monsters.

To bear the weight of lives.

“Satoru,” Yuuji asks, every word a slow, searing horror, “are you in love with me?”

[partyluvr]

MULIEBRITY, mark lee

in which mark lee falls in love with his bisexual bestfriend.

downbad!mark x fem!reader

status: on going

chapter ii. your apartment

prev | next

☆*:.｡.｡.:*☆

your apartment feels like mark’s second home. 

he lost counts on how many times he’s stayed over. he’s sure your bed already remembers the dip of his body weight when he lays on it. he likes sharing a bed with you. though neither of you ever properly cuddle or hug in your sleep, mark finds it sweet that as the night goes by your leg would end up on top of his, or he would curled up in his sleep and his head would be touching your shoulder. both of you would fall asleep on each respected sides of the bed but you would wake up—not entangled, but—accustomed to one another.

mark likes to think he finds your apartment far more... homey than his own. he thinks you’re really good at making your place comfortable yet so pleasing to look at. he can see your personal style through your apartment, it’s like a glimpse into your head. mark loves your apartment, and he's glad you don’t mind having him around.

today is one of those days where mark is laying on tour couch while you’re out and about. he recalls you saying you would be done with class at around 3pm, and instead of asking mark to come over then, you insisted that mark comes over as soon as he was done with his class—even if that means maek would kill time in your apartment all alone.

oddly enough, mark never gets bored waiting for you to come home. granted his undying crush on you took some part in it, but mark likes to think it's because he takes so much comfort in being in your apartment. 

the sound of the door being opened made him look up from his phone. he cranked his neck to look at you taking off you shoes in the doorway. sitting up, mark tipped up his chin at you before switching his attention back to his phone, trying to not be so obvious that he always gets so excited whenever you’re home. isn’t this so domestic, in a way? him waiting for you to come home. granted it’s your place, and granted friends and roommates do this all the time, mark’s heart couldn’t help but swell at the thought at someday he would have the chance to wait for you to come home to a place you both share. but maybe that’s just his lovestruck head getting ahead of him.

"what time did your class end?" you asked as you took off your leather jacket, leaving a black tank top that hangs just above your belly button.

"around one."

you nodded, walking back to you bedroom before walking out, this time you were wearing sweatpants instead of your jeans.

"did you take a nap on my bed?"

mark raised his head up. "yeah, is it obvious?"

you nodded, chuckling. "cause i swear i made my bed this morning."

a laugh was heard as a response. scrolling down his phone, he sheepishly replied, "sorry.”

mark never thought he could be as close as he is now with you, to the point that sleeping on each other's bed is nothing out of the ordinary. is he once again ahead of himself to think this apartment of yours is becoming his as well?

sleepovers are also something constant in your friendship. sleepovers at your apartment consist of watching too many movies in one sitting, drinking, and talking. sleepovers at mark’s apartment aren't so different, but add video games to the equation. you’re not the best at playing video games, but you losing adds to the fun. mark likes making fun of you for making silly rookie mistakes.

to the public eye, some people would think the two of you are dating. you spend time together almost regularly despite not even sharing the same major. whenever people would assume to mark that you and him are dating, he always feels heavy at heart when correcting them. he would like if he could just let them assume whatever they want, but that would be selfish on his side. making you uncomfortable is the last thing he wants.

"so," mark began as you finally sat down beside him.  "how was your weekend?" 

you loosely smirked, shrugging.  

"did you guys hookup?"

your smirk was still permanent. "surprisingly we did.”

mark felt a small part of him died. it was his fault for asking, and it was also his fault for never getting used to the fact that you really enjoys casual hookups. again, his discomfort with your sex lives choices is not motivated by judgement, but rather jealously. he would do anything to break out of the platonic bubble in which he is currently residing in.

"damn, dude. i thought you said she looked innocent."

you chuckled. "apparently i was wrong."

"did you make the first move?"

why did mark feel the need to keep asking questions?

"nope. i meant it when i said i wasn't going to initiate anything. she didn't look like someone who would be into casual sex, unlike me," she pointed a finger to her face. "who’s ran through."

mark playfully rolled his eyes at her remarks.

"how'd it happen then?"

"i drove her here from the bowling alley. i swear i wasn’t even thinking about sex. we talked til like, midnight. she's such a great person. then she asked if she could stay the night which i obviously said yes to. we were laying down on the bed and next thing i knew she was climbing on top of me."

"so she started it."

you nodded, grabbing a remote from the table. "yes sir."

clicking his tongue, he responded. "you got game."

"no," she snickered. "i got lucky."

mark lightly shoved her shoulder in response. earning another chuckle from you. you then put the remote down back on the table as the tv start playing, the opening title screen for superstore appeared on the screen. you and this damn sitcom.

"how about you, did you hookup with anyone on the weekend?" you turned to ask him.

"no, i came over to jaehyun’s, remember?"

"well... did you hookup with anyone at jaehyun’s on the weekend?"

mark threw a pillow at her making you laugh as you dodge it. 

"nah, man. we played fifa and drank some craft beer."

you scrunched her face. "craft beer?"

"that's the only thing jaehyun had in his fridge."

"that’s so gross." she scrunched her face. "but seriously, you need to get laid, lee.”

mark rolled his eyes for what felt like the hundredth time. he focused his eyes on the tv screen, episode seven, ten minutes in.

"i'm saving it til marriage.”

the response made you broke into laughter. "fuck off.”

she threw the pillow back at him, which he managed to caught just before it hit his face. he then stick a tongue out at her, before returning his gaze back to the tv.

"wait, are you serious? cause if you are then i'm sorry for laughing." 

this time, it was mark’s turn to laugh. "i'm kidding, dumbass! oh my god, do i look like a virgin to you?"

"...yes?"

“dude!” the pillow was thrown back at her. "fuck you."

"well maybe if you have sex once in a while you wouldn't look like a prude."

"i do have sex, just not as much as you."

"touché."

"i didn't mean it like that." 

you softly laughed. "i know." you stretched you arm to ruffle his hair. "but seriously, you need to blow off some steam. you're a pure math major, lee, don't pent those stress up inside you."

to that, he rolled his eyes playfully yet again. a small smile hanging on his lips, he replied, "yeah, yeah, whatever. i’ll try my best to have sex.”

mark doesn't need a one night stand with a stranger to relieve his stress; jerking off in his room is enough for that. mark just needs zo to look at him the way he looks at her. one one these days he would get tired of feeling so perverted for jerking off to you. would you be submissive? would you have your way with him? would you like him to go down on you? these thoughts are not normal for friends to have and though mark has managed to only think of those thoughts only when he has his hand around his cock, he still feels like a bad friend for having such vulgar fantasy about you. he loves you, he truly does, and although he wish for more than just a friendship, mark swears he loves you so much that he can die being your friend. it’s an honor as it is, to exist in the same lifetime as you.

he’d would push his craving for you aside if that means he can have you in his life even just in a mere friendship.

☆*:.｡.｡.:*☆

[wryuxim]

this has been in my drafts way too long, and again, i suck at writing, but i’ve really needed to say this. how the hell is millionsummers so normalized in the fandom? well i know why, but it’s honestly crazy to me how 90% of the pretty small amount of legato fans in existence ship him with knives. like do you even understand his character? sure if you haven’t read trimax (like too many people) you literally wouldn’t know anything significant about him since he’s just kinda there in the other iterations. all you’d see is evil guy x bootlicker right hand that have minimal interactions with each other. don’t get me wrong, i could get behind that. like it even. but the issue is that there’s more to it than just that. even if you haven’t gotten to legato’s backstory in the manga, it’s clear from the start that the way that knives treats him crosses the line of average evil toxic yaoi bull. like literally the very first time we see them interact knives casually shatters every bone in legato’s body bro. causing irreparable damage and rendering someone a quadriplegic(?) after they were probably trying to get you a new body for the past 7ish years is so romantic, right!! He also just disregards him as a person and is generally shitty and all that which is kinda mean of him to do ngl. yeah you could say erm actually knives does care about legato though, he’s just too much of a stubborn bitch to show it!1!1!!1!! and i agree with that (to an extent, not getting into it though) but like…that doesn’t excuse the fact that he’s literally abusive. and that isn’t even considering literally everything about legato himself. he was horrifically abused for as long as he could remember. he doesn’t know what a healthy relationship of any kind is. he chose to serve knives (despite being well aware of how he was) because he never knew a life outside of that. he thinks that’s all he’s good for and knows he won’t be anything more to knives, yet still kills himself trying to prove his worth. knives is someone he is unhealthily dependent on who causes him to become more and more self-destructive. just because knives isn’t the same as his previous abusers doesn’t mean it’s not just another shitty situation he fell into. i do think legato’s feelings towards knives could be some sort of crush, but it’s more of a one-sided obsession than anything. to think that it’s an actually good cute little pairing baffles me.

i think what i’ve said so far is enough of an argument ig, but there’s still my main point left. i held back on this till now because of the crazy amount of people say he wasn’t for whatever reason, but legato was a CHILD when they met. like do y’all SERIOUSLY think he’s an adult here??

i really don’t want to pull up panels from his backstory flashback, but you literally cannot convince me. nightow didn’t need to state it outright for it to be pretty obvious that he was a kid. we see how he draws other characters when they were younger as reference so you can clearly see the differences in proportion. i mean just compare it to how he looks throughout the rest of the manga, especially near the end. just because he doesn’t have a confirmed canon age doesn’t mean that there wasn’t an intent there. y’all are grasping at straws to justify it.

also the same applies to elendira (x knives) because of the super secret third legato flashback:

i won’t count this as proof for legato because tristamp (though a separate canon) kinda muddies it, but woah she’s not an adult. also irrelevant but knives was smiling at him 😞😞 i’d like to think he was nice to them at one point but this isn’t about that. the fact that people probably take this to fuel their millionsummers makes me very very sad.

back on topic though, there’s another side of the copium spectrum. i can’t believe i have to say this, but i’ve no joke seen people say that legato and knives were both teenagers when they met as if that makes any damn sense. the twins are both confirmed over 150 years old. in trimax, the july incident happened ten years by the date before the events of the last few volumes (cited in my last post), and legato doesn’t look all that different in the two flashbacks. and the flashbacks or any other evidence i could pull out my ass don’t even actually matter because knives is old as fuck and legato is obviously a normal human age. again, it’s just straw grasping bro so please give up 😭🙏

and if you don’t give a shit and loooove grooming mentally ill teenagers you pick up off the streets then fuck off?? you’re gross and legato would hate your ass. i probably have more to say but i can’t think of anything rn so that’s it for now. millionsummers is cringe and this fandom is a prison. but like a cartoon one where the bars have large enough gaps between them to walk through.

[tiredfox64]

Hi! I love your work, especially your Bi-Han writings. Not sure if you're taking requests, but would you write something for Mavado x Reader? Honestly any prompt is fine, there's literally no Mavado/Reader content and we need some 😭

It Only Takes 7 Días

Yip notes: Everybody stfu and let me cook. Gotta make something sweet for the fuckin people. (PS I actually had this set up in my drafts before and this encouraged me to finish it seeing that others are desperate).

Pairing: Mavado x Afab reader

Warnings ‼️: Suggestive kinda?

Everyone knows Mavado dedicates himself to the Red Dragon clan. He’s a man who listens and obeys Daegon’s command. A man who will bring hellfire upon anyone who disturbs his clan such as Kabal and Kano. All he knows is his duty and his clan. He is uninterested in such things as dating.

Or so everyone thought.

Mavado isn’t dumb. He could never allow anyone to know about you. It’s for your own safety. Heaven forbid Daegon finds out about you, he wouldn’t hesitate to kill you just to keep Mavado’s attention. Kano and Kabal would do so much worse. They would probably hold you hostage to force Mavado into giving up every piece of information about the Red Dragon clan. He would never forgive himself if he let the one person he truly loves get hurt. He had to be all hush hush, sometimes meaning he spent little time with you. He’ll make it up to you. He’s a man of his word. This whole week will be for you.

══💤══╡°˖✧🦊✧˖°╞══💤══

You heard tapping on your balcony door. Little taps as if rocks were being flicked against the glass. You got up from your bed and slid open the balcony door. When you looked down below you saw Mavado holding a bouquet of flowers just for you. He had a smug grin on his face. He knows how to capture your heart.

“Trying to make up for lost time?” You asked.

“I think it’s obvious, mi reina.” Relax, papi chulo.

You smile as you begin to back away from the railing of the balcony. You knew Mavado wouldn’t come up the regular way. You saw his grappling hook wrap around the railing before he flung himself up. Of course, he landed perfectly since he had done this a thousand times. He handed you the bouquet before placing a kiss on your cheek.

El domingo empieza el juego de seducción

It’s never just one kiss. It’s always more. On your cheeks, on your forehead, on your lips, and on your neck. His stubble lightly scratches your skin, causing you to giggle. His arms wrapped around your waist so he could pull you in close. You jokingly told him to stop but you knew he never would. In fact, he started placing quick kisses on your neck before returning to your lips.

“We should get you back inside. I’ll help warm you up.” He whispered in your ear before picking you up.

Anyone with a somewhat developed frontal lobe knows what’s about to happen. Mavado was being truthful. He would help warm you up…without any clothes on. Body heat does count. It worked, didn’t it? You were sweating and panting by the end of the night. Knocked you out and left you curled up in his arms.

Monday night, una velada entre tú y yo

By the morning, Mavado was already gone. That’s not unusual. What was unusual was how early you got to see him again. He was back by the early evening. The sun hadn’t fully set yet.

The moment you walked through the door he came up behind you to give you a hug. You were spooked at first before you felt that familiar scratch when he kissed your cheek. You immediately relaxed from his touch and he chuckled about your tiny freakout.

“What? You didn’t expect me to come back?”

“Not really. You’re not really a man who stays for two nights in a row.”

Mavado acted like he was shocked but his face did not portray that. He still had that devilish smirk on his face which meant he had plans for you and him.

“I did want to make up for lost time.”

“Does that mean we are going for a second round?” You asked with a grin.

“If that’s what you want. But I was thinking of something more romantic. Whatever you want, mi reina.” Good heavens, Mavado. You’ll strike the hearts of many.

That evening was romantic, Mavado made sure of that. A nice dinner and great music. He literally swept you off your feet. If you didn’t know how to dance bachata before you surely did now. You can’t live your whole life without knowing how to dance bachata.

And as you requested, you both had a second round in bed. The Devil’s Tango.

Martes, te hago mi novia en París

You were surprised to see Mavado still in bed with you in the morning. He really was staying to make up for lost time. His hands traced up your body as your eyes adjusted to the morning light. You looked so majestic to him with the way you looked so relaxed and the only thing covering you were the sheets.

“Good morning, sleeping beauty. You ready for another day with your favorite man?” He asked with a cocky tone.

“You plan to spoil me like you usually do?”

“Of course. And what better place to do it but in Outworld. The culture is rich I can assure you.”

A trip to another realm? Fancy. He’s not wrong either. He has traveled around Outworld and knows the best spots to find goods. The finest pieces of jewelry and best-designed clothes will be yours. Just say the word and Mavado will give it to you, one way or another.

Get ready, put your best outfit on, and don’t leave your place without a smile. Mavado wants that smile to stay on all day long.

By Wednesday, you'll love me the way it should be

Y el jueves, el anillo down on my knees te propongo matrimonio, dices que sí

The first half of the week was amazing. You couldn’t remember a time when you weren’t smiling or giggling. You thought that this week couldn’t get any better. You are wrong and for once, that’s a good thing.

You were standing outside on your balcony, watching the sunset. The sky was painted with yellow, pink, and orange. The golden light illuminated you beautifully. You were like a shining star in Mavado’s eyes. He came up beside you and you immediately rested your head on his shoulder. His hand rested gently on top of yours. You thought this was another romantic moment before you felt him messing with your ring finger. He was trying to lift it slightly and you felt something cold against it. You turned to look at him before pulling your hand away.

“Heh, I thought I was better at being sneaky. Well, guess I should be upfront with you.” He said.

You were confused about what he meant till you saw him get down on one knee. In his hand was the ring of your dreams. The band was the metal you wanted, shining in the light. The gem was your favorite and cut in the shape you desired. The ring was beautiful. This moment was beautiful. What do you have to say about this?

“Yes!”

Friday, we'll marry wherever you want

You guys got married in secret. No paperwork or the pope’s approval. Your love was true and that’s all that mattered. You guys killed two birds with one stone by having a destination wedding. Wherever you wanted, you went. It could have meaning or it could be fun. The choice was yours. Mavado would make it happen and follow through. All for his lovely bride.

Luna de miel es el sábado, hermoso final

The day after your makeshift wedding you two spent your time enjoying a new destination together. It’s a dream come true. But you did have one question for Mavado.

“I’m surprised you’re not quick to return to the Red Dragon. I would have thought you’d return to them sooner.”

“I am still loyal to my clan of course. But I am also loyal to you. The clan could wait, I couldn’t make you wait any longer.” He brought your hand up and placed a kiss on it.

Your new husband is truly loyal to you.

══💤══╡°˖✧🦊✧˖°╞══💤══

“Where is Mavado!” Daegon yelled in frustration.

This was unlike the cruel crime lord. He doubted Mavado got killed since he was always super careful. So where the heck was he?

“Maybe he’s got a girlfriend now.” Hsu Hao suggested.

Daegon snapped his neck to glare at the idiot. His eye might have started twitching as well.

“Hsu Hao, you’re a bigger idiot than my brother. You’re loyal, but an idiot. Never in a million years would Mavado waste his time by dating. Don’t say another word to me.”

Unfortunately for you, Daegon, Hsu Hao is right. There ain’t nothin you could do about it.

Yap notes: unfortunately we never had a chance 😭. I mean when his name is basically malvado (literally accidentally call him that all the time) could we really expect him to love?

This feels satisfying to do and finish. This may be very headcanony but what can you do when we haven’t seen him in a long time. I can’t even find much for him when it came to the 3D era so I can’t figure out his speech patterns. I did my best and I hope this makes some people happy. Adiós!

[film-in-my-soul]

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Summary: Andrew and the Idiotic, Thirsty, Ill-advised, Very Off-Limits Crush on his College Roommate's Younger Brother.

fear in a handful of dust | 104,521 | flybbfly / @wilsherejack

Summary: “I need to talk to Minyard,” Neil says, sipping at a soda. “How do I make that happen?” Kevin chokes on his whiskey. “You don't.” In which Neil doesn't have Kevin Day to convince him to play, so he becomes a sports journalist; Andrew is a keeper in more ways than one; and Quidditch is the sport du jour. Featuring a frankensteined team, eternal roommate Matt, and hawkish sports section editor Dan. Oh, and Andrew has a shady past (present? future?) that Neil can't quite figure out. But that's nothing new for Neil, who is constantly hiding everything about himself anyway—this time with magical abilities greasing the way.

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[distant-velleity]

Skepticism

Summary: Jamil (probably) doesn't have any ulterior motives, but Jack is not so quick to trust that. Word count: 900+ A/N: I literally started writing this as soon as I got out of dance class today so do not expect it to be good 😭 I just thought it would be so funny if Jack judged Yu's taste in guys. He's always looking out for his friends and keeping an eye out for those who might be unsavory so, you know;; lol. Just wanted to write a little bit of silliness to make up for... everything I've posted in the past few days lol. Enjoy!

~

“There’s this friend of yours,” Jamil murmurs, eyes darting aside as he hands a plastic container to Yu. It seems this time he’s foregone the excuse that he happened to make extras the night before. “Jack, was it?”

(The container is nice and warm, and there’s faint sparkles that indicate it’s been enchanted to stay that way. How sweet.)

Yu tilts his head. “What about Jack?”

“He… I don’t mean to sound paranoid”—“Cute attempt, even if you kind of do”— “but he always seems to become excessively alert when I’m around you. Hostile, even.”

Even someone as unobservant as Yu can immediately recall what Jamil’s talking about—Jack isn’t very good at hiding his body language, so it’s easy to notice when he does subconscious things like raising his tail or stiffening his ears upwards. Or when his fur stands on end, making him look somehow sharper and dangerous. And—

“Oh yeah, didn’t he growl at you once when you clapped me on the shoulder?”

“What did he think I was going to do, punch you?” Jamil asks exasperatedly. “I can keep my hands relatively to myself.”

“But not your eyes,” Yu mutters. “If he knew about winter break, he’d probably kill you.”

Jamil grimaces.

“…that was a joke,” quickly adds Yu.

“If he keeps baring his canines at me, it won’t seem like one.” Jamil rubs his temples. “I’d ask what I’m doing wrong, but I know for a fact everything I do for you is harmless.”

Yu smiles, a little apologetically. “Well, sometimes he doesn’t notice his own behavior, but it’s because he cares so much.” 

“That doesn’t make me feel more reassured.” 

“Maybe you should spend more time around us. He’ll warm up to you.” At Jamil’s skeptical little eye roll, Yu continues with a growing smirk. “I mean, even if it looks like he doesn’t, it’s not like he’s gonna do anything to you if you don’t do anything crazy. He’s a biiig softie, it’s the only reason he hasn’t beaten Ace up yet.”

Jamil scoffs. “Soft or not, I’d rather be on decent terms with him so it’s easier for me to…” He trails off all of a sudden, leaving Yu to abruptly notice the heavy footsteps behind him.

“So it’s easier for you to do what?” asks Jack in his usual low, rumbling voice—with a distinct tone of warning. Although he towers over the both of them, Yu doesn’t feel threatened with how Jack stands right behind him; it feels like having a big guardian puppy around.

While Yu waves to his friend, Jamil says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, “For me to be friends with Yu. I’m not sure what I’ve done to offend you, but I can tell you for certain that I don’t have any intentions to hurt him.” 

Maybe the way it sounds so smooth and practiced is more suspicious to Jack. “Uh-huh. You’d better be able to prove it with more than just words. Yu, can I have that container?”

“Yeah, just don’t toss it or anything. Jamil works diligently to prepare meals, you know.” When Jack nods reluctantly, Yu hands it over without complaint.

As the resident poison-tester, Jamil settles for a resigned look on his face as Jack sniffs for signs of unsavory magic or ingredients. 

The beastman seems satisfied after a solid half a minute of inspection, at least until— “Wait, haven’t you been eating stuff marked with the same magic for the past few weeks? Was it all from this guy?”

It’s comical how Jamil sputters. “So I’ve been reduced to ‘this guy’? And how come you only start sniffing it out once you know I gave it to Yu?”

“‘Cause I have no clue what your real intentions are,” Jack argues, ears pointing up with tension. “You used to fade into the background but all of a sudden you start getting buddy-buddy with Yu, of course I’m gonna think there’s something up with that—”

“Jack, it’s fine,” Yu interrupts. “Jamil can be a douche”—“Excuse you?”—“but he won’t try anything. You, well, you smelled it for yourself, he didn’t put anything in the food and I haven’t been acting weird since I started eating it.”

“Except for trusting him…”

Jamil gives them both a Look™. “Have I not been proving myself trustworthy?”

The way Jack narrows his eyes slightly at Jamil and vice versa feels like something straight out of a manga. Yu can practically see the black background effects of hostility. “You have, and that’s why I’m giving you a chance…” He trails off, seeing Jack’s fur stand on end. “Guys, this is getting ridiculous. You ever think there’s a reason why Crewel calls you ‘unruly pups’?”

“I’m not being unruly in the least,” Jamil says coolly, not disengaging from whatever the hell is going on.

“You’re not helping your case,” Jack grumbles, crossing his arms and glaring even more fiercely. 

Yu closes his eyes. “You guys, seriously—”

The ten-minute warning bell rings, and Yu has never been more grateful for a glorified “hurry the fuck up and get to first period” message. 

Jack backs down right away, mumbling something about not wanting to be late for Trein’s class. As soon as he’s out of earshot, all 190+ centimeters of him disappearing down the hallway, Jamil turns to Yu.

“So… what was that about him being a ‘softie’?”

Yu rolls his eyes. “You skeptic. I mean, me too, but—c’mon. I’m sure he’ll warm up to you someday.”

“...Uh-huh.” Jamil sounds unconvinced. “We’ll see how soon that day comes, then.”

[imogenkol]

pairing: Imogen Kol (oc) x Bix Caleen word count: 3k rating: mature (18+) warnings: death mention, emotional and physical trauma tags: hurt/comfort, still repressing those feelings, but we're getting there read it on ao3! / previous chapter

Summary: after the traumatic death of Timm and a less than warm goodbye with Cassian, Bix seeks out an unlikely source of comfort.

The yacht’s comms crackled with a distorted voice. “ – you copy?” 

Imogen almost ignored it, but she thought familiarity might’ve caught her attention. She adjusted the frequency and listened. 

“Imogen?” Bix’s voice came through, sounding clearer. “Are you there?”

Profound shock caused Imogen’s body to freeze. Even if they hadn’t agreed to part ways for good, Bix never contacted her through such obvious means. Imogen always received coded messages for the safety of them both, but Bix didn’t seem to care about that anymore. Perhaps she felt more scorned than Imogen previously thought. 

At first, she felt a strong burst of anger. Imogen’s hand hovered over the control panel with the intention to switch her comms off, but something made her hesitate. Just as her mind pinpointed the source of her body’s betrayal, Bix tried to reach her again. 

“I know you’re there, just –” the mechanic’s weathered sigh hissed through the speaker. Something caused her tone to waver just enough for Imogen to notice. “Please answer.” 

Imogen’s outstretched hand became a tight fist and, with a clenched jaw, she placed her headset on. “What do you want?” 

“Look, I know we ended things, but… I just need to see you.”

Imogen scoffed. “Why?”

“Timm is dead.” 

Loud silence filled the cabin of the ship. Imogen couldn’t really fathom how the idiot got himself killed in such a short amount of time, but it was clear that Bix had been shaken up by his demise. Her distress pulled at Imogen’s impulses no matter how hard she tried to ignore the defeat in her tone. 

After the silence dragged on, Bix continued. “There’s more. The Empire has taken control of Ferrix.” 

Utter exasperation caused Imogen to shake her head. All those people had to do was carry on exactly like they have been. Now they’ve managed to sentence their entire planet to eventual doom. “How did this happen?” 

“I’ll explain everything in person. Are you coming?” There wasn’t a single shred of hope in the question like Bix knew that Imogen would refuse. Her request had been desperate. 

The presence of the Empire was enough to ward the former Inquisitor off of Ferrix for good. Bix understood that. Yet, Imogen couldn’t think of anything else besides the grief stricken sound of her voice over the comms. Another long pause passed between them before Imogen’s resolve drove a stake into her chest. “I’m setting a course now.” 

Ferrix wasn’t too far from the system Imogen had been orbiting. Her bounties weren’t going anywhere, though she did take a moment after landing to check on their vitals. Carbonite could be a fickle thing on occasion. Confident that she would still receive full payment for their living condition, she pulled her hood up and stepped off the ship. 

Dawn had barely begun to tear through the gray painted sky. While Ferrix had never been a busy planet at this hour, Imogen sensed a shift in the air immediately. Things were too quiet. As if the entire community were muzzled. Imogen was once a harbinger of the very subjugation she recognized as she walked the streets. A certain power used to course through her veins during those moments where others had no choice but to bend to her will – an unstoppable, addictive rush in what her rage had wrought. Now all she felt was nothing. A cold, haunting nothing. 

A glimpse of white armor in the distance signaled an oncoming patrol and Imogen darted into an alleyway. 

I shouldn’t bother with this, her mind fretted. Stormtroopers were little challenge on their best day, but if it came to a fight, that would only mean more trouble for herself. This isn’t worth it. An odd creak came from her leg as she hurried to keep out of sight. Even more reason not to be here. But of course, Imogen continued towards the Caleen Salyard, slinking her way through the shadows to avoid the Imperials. 

The salvage yard was empty, but Bix’s lights were on as Imogen approached her door. She tapped her knuckles against it. “It’s me, I’m here.”

Imogen paced in lazy circles while she waited for Bix to answer. She put extra weight on her cybernetic leg. The next creak shifted through the metallic joints and nearly caused her to lose balance. During the last bounty she collected, she unwisely made a risky jump from one rooftop to another. The resulting impact put strain on her body, but she hadn’t thought much of it at the time. It seemed there might be some damage to the prosthetic after all. Imogen made a mental note to get it serviced.

The front door finally opened with a mechanical whoosh. While Imogen’s expectations were low, seeing Bix with an extremely noticeable bruise on her temple completely caught the bounty hunter off guard. 

“Bix.” Imogen rushed for the mechanic before she could stop herself. She gently cupped Bix’s face and turned her head to examine the wound. A fresh gash peeked through her hairline and Imogen felt a flush of anger in her chest. “Did the troopers do this?”

“No.” Bix closed her eyes like she might be avoiding Imogen’s gaze, but she leaned into her touch and allowed Imogen to look at her as long as she wanted. Or maybe she was just too tired to pull away. Imogen noticed the dark circles under her puffy eyes and the way her shoulders slumped. 

“What happened, Bix?” Imogen prompted and reluctantly dropped her hands. 

Bix took a moment to scan their surroundings before motioning at Imogen. “Come inside.”

“Was that Timm’s doing?” Imogen asked once the door slid shut behind them. She angrily pushed her hood down. 

Without so much as glancing over her shoulder, Bix shuffled into the kitchen. “Do you want some caf?”

Imogen put her hands on her hips. “Not as much as I would like an explanation. Particularly one that explains why I’m here.”

Bix finally threw her a weak excuse for a smirk as she prepared two cups. “Pretty sure you’re the only one that can answer that.” 

I came because you asked me to, felt like a pathetic excuse, so Imogen ignored her remark and accepted the cup of caf Bix offered. “There isn’t a lot that would motivate the Empire to seize control of a free trade planet.” 

“No,” Bix agreed and took a quick sip. “But a shootout with a bunch of corpos does the trick, as it turns out.” 

Imogen shook her head and scoffed. Corpos were even more useless than Stormtroopers. Fools, the lot of them. “How exactly did that occur?”

“They were looking for Cassian. Timm ratted him out…” It looked like Bix nearly choked on those last four words. She grimaced down at her cup as if it became too foul to drink.  

“So it was Timm’s fault.” 

“Some blame Cassian.” Bix shrugged. For how exhausted she appeared, her fingers tapped restlessly against the side of the cup in her hands. “What does it even matter? Timm is dead. Cassian is gone.” 

“And I’m here,” Imogen added like an accusation. 

The mechanic’s face fell. “I haven’t forgotten our last conversation. I just needed… someone.” 

Despite the urge to move closer, Imogen stayed still. “For what?”

Bix’s gaze locked on the bounty hunter’s, those deep brown irises unable to hide the pain tearing her up inside. “Comfort.” 

Imogen hadn’t forgotten their last conversation, either. Nor could she forget the will it took not to surrender herself to the woman in front of her. Now she asked for comfort. Imogen knew nothing of the sort, not even for herself. She set her cup aside and found it hard to look the other woman in the eye. “To what end, Bix?”

Bix released such a heavy sigh that her shoulders looked even heavier than before. She smiled flatly and shook her head. “Forget it. Get out.” 

No amount of effort could make Imogen ignore the sudden pit in her gut. “Bix –”

“No, it was stupid of me to ask.” Bix’s voice shook and she slammed her cup down on the nearest flat surface. 

Imogen had no clue what came over her. It felt like a foreign entity seized control of her body as she swiftly closed the growing distance between them and pulled Bix into an embrace. Bix stiffened in Imogen’s arms. For a moment, she tried to push her away, but there was hardly any effort in her attempt. With a choked sob ringing in her ears, Imogen felt the mechanic utterly melt into her. 

In a way, the fight drained out of both of them. Bix succumbed to her torment. Imogen gave up on resisting the persistent pull towards a woman she didn’t deserve. They simply clung to each other and abandoned any conviction that would stop them from doing so. 

“I was so stupid,” Bix whimpered into Imogen’s shoulder. “And there was nothing I could do – nothing.”

Imogen didn’t trust herself with words, so she planted her lips on the side of Bix’s head. That odd, warm sensation settled inside Imogen’s chest again as she shut her eyes and inhaled some of Bix’s scent. Imogen liked this. She liked holding her. She liked the way her hair tickled her face. The only thing she could do without were the painful sobs wracking through the woman in her arms. Even more bewildering was the desire to chase those tears away. 

“I’m here,” Imogen said again, this time without any hint of irritation.

Bix pulled back and carefully cradled Imogen’s face. She had never touched her this way before – had never looked at her with such fondness. Imogen got distracted by her deep brown eyes. The richness shimmered with unshed tears and Imogen saw herself reflected clearer than ever. “Thank you,” Bix said through a strained whisper. 

All she managed was a nod before Bix delicately brushed her mouth with a chaste kiss. Imogen moistened her lips as she resisted the desire to lean in for more. She tasted salt on the tip of her tongue and thought maybe Bix might need physical distraction. It would certainly be the easiest offering for Imogen. “Is that the kind of comfort you want?”

Bix shook her head and caressed Imogen’s cheeks with calloused hands. “Just stay with me for a little while. I don’t want to be alone.”

Not even a hint of disappointment twisted in her gut. “Okay.” 

The two of them found seats beside each other on the couch. Bix released her torment in waves, alternating from crying into Imogen’s shoulder to staring off at nothing in particular in quiet contemplation. She maintained physical contact, though. Whether it was a trembling hand grasping at any part of Imogen it could find or their sides brushing together during a break in the storm, Bix always had to touch her. Imogen silently allowed whatever she needed without judgment. 

The bell eventually rang outside. Soon the streets of Ferrix would be teeming with workers. It would be crawling with Stormtroopers, too. Imogen didn’t feel concerned, crowds were easier to blend into, but she did worry for her mechanic. Bix’s secret trade could land her in an Imperial cell if they ever found out. 

“Maybe,” Imogen started. The words were dry and heavy in her mouth. “Maybe you should leave Ferrix.” 

Bix slowly turned her weary head to blink at Imogen. “What?”

“You should go offworld. Get far away from here and start new.”

“With you?”

Imogen swallowed hard and nodded. “I can take you wherever you want to go.”

Bix’s features softened so much that it tightened Imogen’s chest. She sighed almost wistfully at the idea, but said “I can’t, Imogen. I have my parents’ salvage yard and I need to keep an eye on Maarva, too.”

“Since when is Maarva your responsibility?” she grumbled. 

“When someone matters to you,” Bix said, reaching over to place her hand on Imogen’s good knee. “You do what you can to care for them.”

The bounty hunter studied the way Bix’s thumb brushed back and forth, grateful that it had been on her intact leg. She wouldn’t have been able to feel her otherwise. “I guess I wouldn’t know.”

“You know,” she gently insisted.

“Bix…” Imogen sighed. 

“You’ve been saying my name a lot.”

After a moment of hesitation, Imogen looked up. Bix stared so intently into her eyes that Imogen couldn’t break from her gaze even if she wanted to. A part of her did want to – the part inside of her that screamed to hold her ground. She wondered if it ever occurred to Bix that walking away from her had been the closest thing to caring that Imogen was capable of. 

She never fully understood how compassion worked. That turned out to be her biggest problem under the tutelage of the Jedi, but her greatest tool as an Inquisitor. Neither offered her the opportunity to form a proper attachment and learn what it means to care about someone other than herself. It dawned on Imogen as she studied Bix that this might be the only person in the entire galaxy she has ever truly cared for.

“Swear to me you’ll keep a low profile,” Imogen requested and placed her hand on top of Bix’s where it still rested on her knee. “No more deals under the table. Don’t reach out to any offworld contacts.”

“Does that include you?”

“Do you want it to?”

“No,” Bix answered immediately.

The corner of Imogen’s mouth twitched with the flash of a smile. “Then promise me and… and I’ll come back whenever you call.”

Bix’s soft, genuine smile lasted long enough that Imogen had the opportunity to commit it to memory. She really is beautiful. It’s not that Imogen hadn’t noticed before, it’s that she hadn’t let herself appreciate Bix’s beauty with affection. The woman’s features were always something that brought forth a hunger to crave and possess. Now she was something to simply just admire for what she is. 

“I promise.”

“Good.”

“Now,” Bix’s hand switched to pat Imogen’s metal knee. “Can I get a look at this leg? You’ve shifted your weight.”

Imogen released an amused breath, both at her perceptiveness and her need to always fix something. “It’s a prosthetic, not a ship.”

Bix shrugged. “Can’t hurt to take a peek. Maybe you just have a screw loose.” 

Imogen cocked an eyebrow. “And if you fry the neural interface?”

“I’m a way too skilled mechanic for that and you know it,” she bit back. 

After another moment of hesitation, she nodded. “Fine.” At the very least, it was an excuse to stay a little longer… to keep Bix close.

Imogen opted out of synthflesh when she received her cybernetic leg, leaving most of the inner workings exposed without clothing. It made for easier accessibility for maintenance, but she mostly wanted a constant reminder of what Vader had so casually taken from her. She remembered lying on the floor of the training room, clutching the burned stump of her leg, and listening to her new master drone on about the importance of loss. The lesson had been pointless. He knew nothing about what she lost. Or what she took.

Bix had her walk around without pants to pinpoint the issue. Imogen usually underwent this process with medical droids and felt a bit foolish in Bix’s home, but she still silently obeyed every instruction. The mechanic eventually muttered something about an offset joint and sat Imogen back on the couch to get a closer look.

With the cybernetic leg outstretched, Bix knelt on the floor and leaned over it to tinker with the mechanisms in her knee. One arm rested on Imogen’s thigh as Bix got pulled into her element. Imogen may as well have been a ship for how concentrated the mechanic was. She wanted to watch her work more than anything, but Imogen averted her gaze to avoid irritating Bix. 

Even indoors, the chill of Ferrix caused the bounty hunter to shiver and her exposed skin to prickle with goosebumps. Out of the corner of her eye, Imogen saw Bix glance up. She made an effort to suppress her body’s reaction to the cold.

“There’s a blanket behind you,” Bix told her.

“I’ll survive,” Imogen dismissed. “You’re almost done.”

Bix leaned in until their faces were mere inches apart. Imogen stiffened and felt like she might fall into those rich brown eyes of hers, but she quickly realized the mechanic only reached for the blanket. As Bix placed it on Imogen’s lap, she smiled with a hint of coyness and said “It’s gonna be a few.” 

“You’ve made me your responsibility as well, it seems.”

“Like I said before,” Bix murmured absentmindedly as she returned to work. There seemed to be more she planned to say, but Imogen noticed her hesitate as if she caught herself. “I’m grateful you came,” she continued. The tone of her voice sounded more formal. “And this gives me something to do.” 

 Imogen saw right through the deflection. When someone matters to you, you do what you can to care for them. 

“You’re wasting your time,” Imogen warned. She meant it matter-of-factly. One only nurtures to see something change, typically in ways that are considered better by the perspective of the person devoting their efforts. If Imogen learned anything from her first master, it was that. Others had tried to make her right for so long that she finally turned wrong.  

Bix shrugged without looking back up. “Then it’s a good thing it’s mine to waste.”

Imogen didn’t really know what to make of that response. She simply stared down at her mechanic quizzically and admired her casual confidence in the silence that followed. The lack of resistance in Imogen’s chest allowed her to relax in the late morning light that shined through the windows of Bix’s home. The rising presence of the sun brought little warmth with it, but Imogen began to learn that there were other means to chase away the cold.

[paganwitchisis]

The Unexpected Adventure Chapter 2

Chapter 2: A Learning Experience

Word Count: 5,980

Rated: Explicit

RATED 18 PLUS!!!

Chapter 1 - here

Chapter 2 - you're here

Chapter 3 - here

AO3 link - here

Warnings: Smut, Smut and fluff, body swap, brief snippet of violence (fight), unknown pregnacy, protective and soft Astarion, blood (drinking)

WARNING SMUT IN THIS CHAPTER

Once inside, Astarion locked the door, and as different as it was, he leaned forward and kissed Tav who held her stomach and chest like she was injured. “I’m sorry. I know it’s jarring to wake up a corpse with eternal hunger. You're used to warmth and a heart that beats.”

“It’s certainly quite the adjustment. It’s a good thing I know your body so well, honey.” Tav attempted to find humor in the situation. “At least I’m in one handsome body.” Tav smiled awkwardly due to the fangs she was unused to.

“That you are. I didn’t realize how lucky you were until today. Gods, am I hot!” Astarion commented with a chuckle and light humor “But seriously, can I do anything to help, my dear?”

Tav readied herself to speak when the door was softly knocked upon. Scowling in Tav’s body (Which Tav thought gave her a hilarious face), Astarion got up and answered their door.

Surprisingly, it was Gale on the other side of the door.

“Ta…er…I mean Astarion, we may have a lead and we thought it would be best if you both were there.” Gale rationalized while looking away, unwilling to believe the circumstances the party was thrown into. It was no secret the wizard still desired Tav even with the obvious nature of Astarion and Tav’s relationship.

“How did you get a lead so soon? It isn’t like swapping bodies is a normal occurrence.” Astarion asked, annoyed. He’d much rather be attending to Tav than speaking to the wizard.

“Exactly. It isn’t normal, so when we spoke to the innkeeper downstairs, he pointed us towards another wizard in town. Apparently, they are here temporarily. Something about them attending because of another wizard named Lorroakan. You remember, the brat in the tower we killed who was after the Nightsong?”

“Obviously,” Astarion snapped. “So how can a wizard help us?”

“Astarion… It is only a lead. We won’t know much until we go to see them. They’re at the Rainforest Home when they aren’t at Sorcerous Sundries.” Gale informed Astarion who was frustrated until he felt an arm reach around his waist. Thankfully, Tav made noise as she walked, since she had yet to pick up on his stealth abilities, otherwise it would have startled the ex-vampire.

“This is so weird.” Tav commented on her embrace of her own body “Gale, we’d love to come with, but we are still… Acclimating. Give us a few hours, and we’ll join. It is still fairly early in the day, anyways.” Tav said in Astarion’s body. With that, Astarion closed the door on Gale’s face, not bothering to hear a reply.

“You know, we’ve got to work on your people skills.” Tav joked and made her way back to the bed. “I guess we need to get out of our armor, huh? Probably could do with a bath too, to be honest… I mean… Not saying you need it, honey, but… I mean, if you want to get one since it is your body, and…”

“Tav,” Astarion said as he then kissed himself to stop Tav from rambling. He thought it would be more difficult than this to show physical emotion when switching bodies, but it really wasn’t. Both of them were attractive people, in his opinion, and kissing her still felt right. “While we are…like this, my body is now yours, and I trust you with it. We’re both intimately familiar with each other, so it should be fairly easy for us to get used to certain… Aspects of this. Now, with the vampirism, I will need to help you. I’m sure drinking blood may be a little off-putting if we are like this for long, for example. Unfortunately, the pain will stay, and you will be hungry often, if not always. No matter how much blood you drink,… It… Can be a lot.”

“Is this what you normally feel?” Tav asked as she struggled to get his light armor off until Astarion came over and helped her, Tav repaying the kindness by helping him with her own armor on his new body.

“Do I usually feel hungry? My stomach clenching in pain because there is nothing I can eat or drink that can quell it for long? Yeah.” Astarion began to nervously chuckle “It was worse, actually, before the tadpole. The wriggling friend of ours seems to have diluted that, along with my strength, though. Regarding whether or not I feel cold, I grew numb to that about two or three decades in. It takes getting used to.”

Astarion could tell that Tav wasn’t too happy with his reply, but he merely told her the truth. It was nice for once, to not be in pain and to not feel death’s chilled hand upon your throat. Of course, that second part he wouldn’t tell her. He didn’t want her to act out of guilt, and he knew the cogs were working in her… Well, his head, as they spoke.

“Do I always smell so good? And everything is so loud! Is that my heartbeat?” Tav asked as she struggled with the vampiric condition.

Astarion chuckled. “Yeah, you do smell good, but what you’re smelling is blood. It’s going to take some time to get used to, but the enhanced hearing is something you acclimate to. You hear your heartbeat now, but imagine in the companion room. All those hearts, the blood flow, and I mean everything will be able to be picked up. You’ll know when someone is lying or when they are aroused.” Astarion smirked at the shocked expression Tav responded with.

“How do you do it?”

“Darling, I had two hundred years to get that under control. Don’t expect to be in control of the vampirism in a matter of hours.” Astarion hated that he had to have this conversation with Tav. He hated his condition was causing her pain or grief. He hated that she now knew the full extent of his plight and he worried that could change the dynamic of their relationship.

No.

Not Tav. Never Tav. She would always love and trust him no matter how insane the reason. That was one of the many reasons Astarion fell so completely for her.

“Astarion? You there?” Tav gently prodded with a hand on her body’s cheek. Touch usually guided him back if done the right way, Tav had learned early on. A hug or a gentle touch to a safer area usually helped him focus on the present.  

“Huh?… Yeah, I’m here. Sorry, dear, daydreaming for a moment.” Astarion wasn’t ready to show more of his vulnerability at the moment. Instead, he took her lips, or rather kissed his own, and tenderly pressed against her. Astarion had to pull away, considering they only had a few hours to get used to themselves before being thrown into another mission.

“Daydreaming? What about? This must be different for you, too.” Tav asked out of curiosity. 

 Astarion didn’t have to think long before he came up with a half-truth. He was always curious, and now he could finally act on it.

“Food. Gods, what I wouldn’t give for some strawberries.”

Tav smiled and took Astarion’s hand after grabbing Astarion’s daggers and attaching them back on the body she was borrowing. “let’s go fix that, shall we? Maybe a glass of wine will calm this stomach for a bit, too.”

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea. You’re like a newborn vampire. Any amount of blood, regardless of the source, and you will…”

“How is it different than when we go out to get our situation sorted out? I can’t stay here the entire time, Star.” Tav rebutted as she cut him off. Astarion thought for a moment and shook his head.

“Fine, but only because I’m with you. I know the signs, and with our tadpoles, you can communicate with me if things become too hard without making it obvious.” Astarion sternly stated. He was looking forward to eating, but he would never put her in danger over something like this.

 The couple made their way downstairs, and thankfully found the establishment mostly empty. It was still early, so it was possible the lunch crowd had simply not descended on them yet. It was fortuitous since the scant noise in the tavern was already giving Tav a headache. All of the noise was worse than in the room, but Tav wouldn’t let it beat her. The couple sat down at the bar, and Astarion found himself overwhelmed with the options before him. When he couldn’t eat, it was much simpler. Now? He wanted to try everything, but he also wanted to respect Tav and her body. He was sure a stomach ache was not what he had in mind if he overindulged.

Seeing his plight, Tav placed her hand on Astarion’s thigh under the table at the bar and asked; “Do you want some suggestions?”

“Please.” Astarion requested while being oddly shy about the his current state of affairs.

“Innkeeper, can we please have these?” Tav pointed to the roast chicken and stew combo. Tav had a suspicion Astarion would love to have protein but she wasn’t done yet. “Oh! And this!” Tav pulled a napkin out and wrote on it instructions before sliding it to the innkeep. Astarion tried to peek, but his eyesight wasn’t what it used to be. It was more dull than before, but then again his partner wasn’t an elf and the vampirism used to enhance his senses.

“You realize these are out of season?” The man replied to her paper instructions.

“Yeah, but I’ll pay well. Either I pay you a chunk of coin for them or I find someone who will.” Tav replied. The man seemed offended, but wasn’t going to pass up the chance to make more gold. He scoffed and left to get the original order, and when he placed it down, Tav handed him five hundred gold out of her money. She wasn’t about to dig in Astarion’s pockets and have him pay for her surprise. The man seemed pleased to hold the medium filled bag of gold and left them alone as he set on his task.

Meanwhile, Astarion could smell the food, and based off the pain in his stomach, he could guess Tav never ate breakfast. Of course, that isn’t because Astarion didn’t remind her, he was always trying to find ways to take care of his lover, and anything he could do, he would. He didn’t care if it was massaging her shoulders after a hard fight, or doing anything else to bring her comfort. ‘Her job was difficult enough’, he surmised, as she had to bring everyone together and make the hard decisions. At least in privacy, he could be the one to take care of her. Astarion took a tentative bite as Tav watched of his chicken. Astarion felt like there was an explosion of flavor in his mouth, which was of stark contrast to the ash he would taste while still a vampire. Tav, meanwhile, ordered wine from the bartender as the innkeeper was still not back. It made Astarion wonder what she wrote down, however his thoughts and his focus was zeroed in on the food he was consuming. Every bite was something new. Astarion knew he was going to miss this when he returned to his body, but damn, did the reprieve feel great. To be warm, to have a heartbeat, and to live for the first time in centuries was a blessing. It just was unfortunate his lover had to experience the opposite of his situation.

“I..well, technically you, have a full bladder.” Tav whispered as she put the glass of wine down. “Anything I should know before I go take care of this?” Tav was normally very proud and headstrong and yet in this, she was coy. This made Astarion smirk.

“You know my body almost as well as I do, my love.” Astarion chuckled “Just aim and shoot. Well… That, and don’t shake it too much after you’re done. You don’t want an erection… At least not when I can’t help you with it.” Astarion was smiling now at the thought of what they could do with these delicious new bodies, but of course, that thought would have to wait. Maybe if they got the chance later, they could indulge. After all, they were both beautiful people. Right now, however, Tav was fidgeting in her seat, and Astarion couldn’t pull himself away from the food if he tried.

Tav kissed Astarion on the forehead and politely excused herself to use the bathroom, while Astarion ate his fill. After about five minutes or so, Tav returned with a contemplative look on her face. Astarion could feel his smirk grow as he waited for her to sit down.

“So… How did it go?” Astarion teased

“I’m jealous. It is so easy for men to pee compared to being a woman.”  Tav huffed out while Astarion couldn’t help his full belly laugh.

“Well, I guess I’ll find out if the day drags too far on, then.” Astarion shook his head hoping he wouldn’t have to deal with more complex natural bodily urges. If Tav got her cycle, or worse, had to use… The facilities, in another regard, he would be lost on what to do since he doesn’t remember being in a body that consumed food, nor was he proficient in what she needed to do during her monthly visitor.

While Astarion ate and Tav drank her wine slowly, Astarion was aware of a small petite woman coming their direction from the open door of the Elfsong. Of course Astarion never met this woman but was taken aback by this determined face she wore. Tav, as per usual, was oblivious. Astarion kept an eye on her as he ate and saw she was staring at his body.

‘Great. Another one of those.’ Astarion thought to himself as he thought of the men and women who he could seduce without moving a muscle. He just didn’t realize until that day how handsome he was to see why he was so sought after in taverns and pubs they visited. Astarion would tell them off, but never really needed to once he and Tav got serious. He would just show some public display of affection and they would look away. Astarion thought that would be enough to protect Tav from this woman, but he soon found he was wrong.

Tav was a little surprised to feel Astarion place a hand on her thigh, and in between eating, he leaned over and kissed her deeply. Of course, Tav wasn’t aware of the woman who watched them, but noticed something was up with her lover.

“You okay?” Tav asked and placed a hand on his cheek as she was a little worried. Instead of a reply from her loverm the sound of someone’s throat being cleared became apparent.

Tav looked away one moment and looked at the person in question. The person was close… Too close. The woman was within Tav’s personal space and caging Tav against the bar even which made Tav frown. Who did they think they were? Tav saw that this woman looked very attractive. She had long blonde hair, piercing blue eyes and a thin figure. She held curves where she needed them, and larger breasts than Tav normally had. She was slightly tan, a high elf in full makeup and obviously she was aiming to get something out of Tav, but Tav couldn’t figure out what. This was until the woman spoke and Tav remembered that everyone saw her as Astarion.

“Hey handsome, what brings you here?”

Tav was surprised for a moment until Astarion cut in.

“If you don’t mind, this is a private conversation.” Astarion hissed out while not looking too ferocious as he was in Tav’s body. The woman ignored Astarion and turned her back to Astarion, still caging Tav in against the bar.

“It’s a bit noisy here. Why don’t we grab a booth somewhere a little more… Secluded? Leave this tart, and we can see what I have to offer…”

Tav put her hands up in an effort to have something between her and this random woman, but her anger festered under the facade.

“This ‘tart’ as you put it, is more important to me than you’ll ever know. You can’t offer anything that I don’t already have with her,” Tav caught herself to make sure she was using the right pronoun. “Now go fuck off, you hussy.” Tav snapped at the woman. Tav was not in the mood to deal with this situation. She was hungry, she was cold, and she didn’t want to have to kill a woman for coming onto her significant other. Tav felt honored that Astarion trusted her to protect and take care of his body, and she would be damned if she would betray that trust.

Astarion smirked at Tav’s shutdown of the situation and her words. It made him feel warm and seen to be with Tav, and he wasn’t referring to her body heat. When Tav declared her love publicly, it never failed to make him feel safe and cared for with her. Of course, these feelings were all new to him and he only just started accepting them, but he knew he always felt complete with Tav… No matter what body she was currently inhabiting.

“Ass! You don’t have to be a jerk!” The woman snapped but Tav just laughed. Unfortunately, that may have been the wrong thing to do, as it flashed Astarion’s fangs briefly, something the woman noticed.

“I… I’m going to go over there….I….I’m sorry bout the mix up” the woman stuttered and backed up slowly. Astarion noticed immediately why there was the sudden change in demeanor.

“Shit.” Astarion got up to handle the situation when a large red tiefling woman grabbed the scuff of her clothing and hoisted the belligerent woman in the air.

“Oi! I’ve been watching you. You give my friends any grief, and I’ll make sure the Fists can’t find any of your parts left.” The woman was shaking her head ‘no’, and squeaking out how she would tell no one and she was just mistaken.

With that, Karlach tossed the woman aside who ran promptly away. Astarion sighed in relief as Karlach joined them.

“I hope the bimbo wasn’t a problem. Kind of hard to miss, actually. Figured you’d both welcome some help,” Karlach mentioned before adding on “Had to do that bit a lot as a bodyguard in the Hells and even the bastard who sold me. I’d much rather help you both out, though. You both okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Astarion? Are you alright?” Tav answered while eyeing the entrance suspiciously.

“Yeah… It’s just jarring.”

“Thank you, Karlach, for the help.” Tav said in Astarion’s body and voice. It was very off putting to hear Astarion say thank you even if it was technically Tav saying it. Karlach just laughed and replied.

“Anything for you, Soldier...or should I say Fangs?” Karlach continued to laugh as she walked away.

Tav was going to speak to Astarion when the man she spoke to earlier returned.

“Hello, sir. I have what you asked for.” The man sighed and held out in his hand a square box. Tav took the box and thanked the man before grabbing Astarion’s hand and retreating back to their room. Astarion was confused but followed his lover all the same. Astarion smiled as he held her hand...or rather his own, but it was nice to share such a moment with the person he cared for.

Tav locked the door behind them and excitedly smiled at Astarion.

“I have a gift for you!”

“I saw. Five hundred gold, too. What did you buy?” Astarion asked curiously.

Tav grinned more, the smile reaching her eyes as she handed the box over to Astarion.  Astarion tentatively took the box and opened it to be hit with a sweet aroma. It was a fruity and sweet smell that Astarion felt like he smelt before. Long ago before he became a vampire. Astarion looked down and saw triangular shaped red fruit with a leaf at the base end.

They were strawberries.

Astarion could feel himself salivate at the thought and the smell of the confection. Astarion wasted no time bringing the red part of the fruit to his lips and taking a bite. It was beyond anything he had ever tasted before. If he thought the stew and chicken were good, then strawberries were divine. Astarion moaned and sat on the bed with his eyes closed. Astarion slowly chewed the food, enticing every drop of liquid to be expelled from the fruit before he swallowed.

“This is better than sex…” Astarion eventually blurted out after eating half the box of fruit.

“Better than sex? I guess I have to remind you how good that feels… If you want to, of course.” Tav attempted to be seductive, but one laugh from Astarion and she knew it wasn’t that great of acting in the new body. Tav began to laugh, too, but Astarion put the box down to the side and kissed her.

“Darling, I am very eager to see what that would be like, but first, you need to eat.” Astarion smirked and crawled on the bed a little to nestle between her legs. Astarion tossed Tav’s hair to the side and bared his neck. Tav couldn’t help her hunger as her mouth seemed to froth and foam at the mouth with saliva. She was already passively in pain due to her hunger, but if it could be abated, she would find that very welcoming.

“I can’t… I don’t know how much to take! I may kill you!”

“It’s sweet of you to be concerned, but I can get your attention. Worst case? I have my dagger on me and can do something superficial. I would like to think you won’t force me to use that option, my dear.”

“How… ow do I…?” Tav was confused but Astarion guided his body and head to the correct place on her neck and lowered her head.

“Open up and just swallow. When I get your attention, you just have to lick the wound to close it. Now, push down, my love, and enjoy.” Astarion mentioned as he braced himself for the pain of being bitten, but the pain was substantially less that what he remembered Cazador’s fangs were like. Tav punctured his flesh with a slight pop, her moan hitting his ears a moment later. Tav was given a moment or two before Astarion tapped on her shoulder and she pulled away, remembering to lick the wound first.

“Gods, you taste so fucking good. That was so sweet, rich, creamy and smooth, like a well aged wine or chocolate.”

“You did good, pulling away when I said to. Most newborns don’t have the strength to do that.” Astarion praised Tav, who seemed proud of that fact. “And about the blood? Do you see why I love drinking from you?” Astarion chuckled.

“I also have a problem. This is… Well… Awkward.” Tav would have blushed if she could as she gazed down and looked at the first hard-on she had in his body. “I feel like I need you. I really need you.”

Astarion smirked. “I suspected this would happen. Normally I’d take care of it on my own… Well, until we killed him. Since my rebirth, we’ve been at it like rabbits, so I never needed to hide my erection from you, not that you would have had an issue before our trip to the graveyard. I just wasn’t ready then, but now?” Astarion referred to Cazador like a vile poison he wanted to spit out of his mouth. “Let me help you get undressed.”

Astarion began unlacing Tav’s trousers, but he didn’t have the dexterity that he was used to and grew more and more frustrated at his inability to unlace her pants. Tav had to help him in the end as he was about to take a dagger to the laces.

“You need to relieve this.” Astarion huskily murmured as he was able to shimmy Tav out of the trousers and her underwear. Her cock jutted proudly at attention, a bead of Tav’s natural lubrication sat on the tip.

“Isn’t this masturbation?” Tav asked sarcastically.

Astarion laughed and replied. “Maybe, darling, but we both need to have clear heads to solve this issue,” Astarion replies “Plus, I’ve been dying to find out what these bodies feel like to have pleasure in. To know what these feel like.” Astarion fondled his own chest earning a low moan. “They’re so sensitive.”

“Let me help, then.” Tav began to undo Astarion’s pants while Astarion pulled at her shirt. Once the laces were free, Tav sat up and tossed her shirt to the side, pulling Astarion’s trousers down to his ankles. Meanwhile, Astarion had stripped his shirt, but was struggling with the bra until Tav came to his rescue yet again.

“I don’t get it. I am dexterous! This shouldn’t happen!”

“Maybe your body is dexterous, but mine is not. My body is built for a fighter build, honey.” Tav mentioned before taking his lips. Astarion kicked his pants and underwear off as they partook in each other. Astarion moaned when he tasted the blood on her lips, the taste was different than he remembered, but that didn’t matter to him. Tav took things a step further and deepened the kiss. They may have their bodies switched, but to Astarion and Tav? They didn’t feel like they changed bodies while they kissed each other. Everything felt normal, natural, and oh so delicious. Tav pulled back, and lightly nudged Astarion, asking him to lay down. Astarion couldn’t help how wet he was getting. Just the thought of what they would be doing made him want to clench his legs in an attempt to find relief for the deep ache inside of him. It was a surreal feeling, but one that Astarion understood well. It was desire. Astarion laid down and watched as Tav, using his body, crawled over him and took his lips again. Astarion could feel the erection against his thigh, as he instinctively thrust his hips towards Tav in an effort to find some kind of relief to the need he had, any kind of relief. Tav chuckled and began to kiss his jaw, his neck and his collarbone. She quickly made her way to his breasts and she took her tongue, giving his nipple a flick with the tip of the appendage. Tav clamped her lips over the nipple and swirled her tongue around the areola and nipple, earning a loud moan from Astarion. Astarion pushed his chest against her to get as close as possible to the pleasure she was giving him.

Tav spent a few more minutes lavishing attention on his rose bud before switching to the other. Astarion was very vocal as Tav massaged the breasts, licked and sucked on them and drove him mad with want.

“Please! Stop teasing me.” Astarion begged. Tav pulled back and smirked, then without kissing her way south, Tav skipped kissing Astarion’s stomach (or rather it was her stomach) and sank to the junction of Astarion’s thighs. Tav spread Astarion’s leg’s further and pulled the labia apart. Astarion swallowed hard, scared and excited in equal measure. Tav took a long lick up the center, from cleft to clit.

Astarion’s stomach clenched, pulling Astarion’s upper half off the bed slightly and momentarily.

“FUCK!” Astarion cursed, lowering his hand to the back of Tav’s head to encourage her to continue. Tav licked her lips and noted how although she tasted different, she was still sweet, and so Tav dove back in. Tav knew her body well so when she began her onslaught, she had to hold his body down on the bed. Tav began to twist her tongue and lap at the hidden pearl at the top of the vagina, sucking and varying the kind of licks and pressure on the clitoris. Astarion was loud, which was unheard of for the vampire. He usually was so well composed and so good at doing so. When Tav thought Astarion was building towards his crest, Tav slipped two fingers inside of Astarion whose legs trembled.

“I’m so close. Gods, this is unreal! This is so. Fucking. Good!” Astarion enunciated the last few words separately as he focused on his breathing. Tav curled her fingers looking for the small patch of flesh that was rougher to the touch and brushed against it several times.

This unraveled Astarion who screamed out Tav’s name in orgasm.

Tav could feel the contracting muscles, the throb and pulling inside where her finger sat. Tav helped Astarion ride out the climax, and when she went to pull away, Astarion grabbed her wrist. He grabbed the wrist of the hand that was inside of him just a moment ago and licked up the contents on her fingers.

“You still taste divine, my sweet. That felt so good. Now it’s your turn, lay on your back.”

Tav was going to argue back, but Astarion had already sat up and was crawling to his prize.

“You’re in for a treat, darling, I know how to suck cock well, and especially my own? This will be different, but I am sure I can make you come faster than you made me.”

“It’s a competition now, is it?” Tav joked.

“Never. I want you to thoroughly enjoy my lips and tongue on your new cock.” Astarion huskily said as his mouth now hovered over her engorged mast. Tav could feel his hot breath hit her new penis and she desperately wanted to thrust.  Astarion wasted no time and took her cock into his mouth, his hand holding her hips down just like she did with him, so she couldn’t thrust yet. Astarion ran his tongue up the bottom vein and twirled his tongue over the head of the length. It was Tav’s turn to be vocal as the sensation overwhelmed her. Astarion was right, because he was proficient, she was in nirvana and didn’t doubt she would come sooner than him. Tav tried to thrust and chase the release when Astarion pulled back to mutter.

My love, I want you to enjoy, not just come. Plus, you’re in for a treat.” Astarion took one long lick of her manhood. “The woman I love comes at least twice. We’re going to do a little testing and see how many I can squeeze out of you.”

“By the gods, you feel great. Please, let me come! I’d love to keep feeling this, but I really need release!”

“We just had sex maybe a day or two ago, don’t tell me you need so soon?”

“It’s you. I’ll always need you.”

“Grab my hair and thrust. I can take it.” Astarion said with a grin as he took his lover’s cock into his mouth once again. Astarion hollowed out his cheeks and sucks and moaned as he gave oral to his lover. Tav couldn’t wait anymore and lightly held his hair before she began thrusting into his oral cavity. His mouth was so slick, so hot and divine, that Tav wanted to stay doing this but the coil in her lower belly told her how close she was.

“I’m gonna…”

Tav couldn’t finish her sentence as Astarion used both his hands to pull Tav’s ass closer to his mouth, taking her all in and gave everything he had. She saw stars. She thought it was a myth, but this experience proved otherwise. Tav yelled out Astarion’s name, clenched her stomach as she partly sat up while she unloaded her load down her lover’s throat. Astarion just moaned as he drank his own sperm in. He noted how sour he tasted and wondered why Tav would like drinking his spend so much, however soon enough, Tav pulled away and left Astarion curious.

“You drink me when I taste like that? I mean, it makes sense why you’re so delectable, but why swallow me, my sweet?”

Tav looked him in the eyes and smiled. “I drink you down regardless of taste, because I love you. I want you to feel good, and honestly? You don’t taste that bad.”

Astarion looked at her quizzically, but noted she still sported a hard on. Astarion began to languidly stroke her mast while Tav would moan until Tav stopped him.

“Do you want to continue?”

“My dear, I am giddy from excitement. I want this. We need this, and gods, when will we get another chance to make love while in each other’s bodies?”

Tav crawled above Astarion at this point, as Astarion spread his legs around Tav’s hips and helped Tav line up her new cock.

“Now I should be prepared but you’ll want to slide in slowly. Especially because I haven’t been fucked as a woman before.” Astarion chuckled. Tav began to push in and almost doubled over her lover, the tight hot heat put Astarion’s mouth to shame. As she continued to push in, Astarion kissed Tav so as to muffle her moans. She was struggling not to spill her load so soon, and wondered how Astarion did it. Tav thought her new cock wouldn’t be as sensitive as her clit, but by the gods, was she wrong. Eventually, she was fully sheathed and waited for Astarion’s signal to proceed.

“Darling, this feels incredible. No wonder you ask for my cock so much! You can move. It’s like a deep ache inside me that goes away and feels so good, like burning electricity when you strike those walls.”

Tav began to move but was soon stopped.

“No, no, dear. You don’t simply pull out and shove in. Roll the hips.” Tav followed the instructions. “There you go. Doesn’t that feel better? It saves your back, feels better for both of us, and this way, you won’t fall out when you pull back.” Tav grew embarrassed at the last part as when they began coupling, she did, in fact, fall out for a moment. She didn’t know how far to pull back, as she wasn’t used to the appendage, but Hells, was he right. Everything felt better, tighter and more sensual as she rolled her hips into him. Tav kissed Astarion some more but deepened the kiss. She ran her tongue everywhere she could find. Astarion moaned and began to thrust back, his legs now tight against her hips and circled around her backside. The only sounds in the room were blissful moans, reliving sighs and cries of each other as skin slapped in rhythm of each other.

Tav began to speed the pace up, feeling the desire within her warn her that she wouldn’t last much longer, but she didn’t want to be the only one to come. Tav pulled Astarion's leg off her side and held it up as she rolled her hips. She angled herself deep and to the side slightly, which soon enough, pushed Astarion over the edge with a cry of her name. The contracting muscles and the throb from inside was too much and Tav soon followed afterwards. She emptied herself of her spend inside of Astarion, (or rather her own body). She didn’t care, he was undead, so the chance of pregnancy was astronomically low. Tav slumped forward as she caught her breath (although, as an undead, she didn’t have to) and was held gently by Astarion.

“Want to go again?”

[melswifeasf]

i saw your request for asks so i thought i’d try, if anything makes you uncomfortable/is weird to write then change it ofc and thank you if you do write it :) 

okay so i really love pissed off sam and was thinking about this: reader and sam are together but are keeping it a secret bc sam wants to (reader isn’t extremely happy about it but okay with it), reader goes with tara to this party from the beginning of scream vi and when sam comes to get both tara and reader back home, she sees someone flirting with reader but can’t do anything about it which pisses her off, reader shuts the flirting down but sam is still pissed, once they are alone reader tries to talk to sam and calm her down with a hug and sam lets her but then kisses reader and turns it into sex and leaves a pretty obvious hickey and tells reader not to cover it up

Marks (nsfw)

Pairing: Sam Carpenter x Fem!Reader

Summary: you’re Sam’s secret, it’s not your choice but you’ll deal. until Sam realizes being her secret means there’s nothing holding others back from chasing you.

Warnings: (18+) MDNI smut, breath play.

notes: i love jealous Sam. also let’s act like they aren’t attacked by ghostface after the party for the sake of this imagine. this might be kind of mid cause i’m not that used to writing smut yet but i hope you still enjoyed it:)

(not proofread)

(word count: 3433)

this was never part of the plan. being in a secret relationship was never really your choice. you felt like her dirty secret but you loved her so you couldn’t find it in you to say no. she had to told you she didn’t want others to know the second things began getting serious. you understood why, her ex boyfriend turned out to be a psychotic freak who wanted to kill her and her sister because she was the daughter of a famous serial killer.

you were Chads friend in high school, he was on the football team and you were a cheerleader so it was easy to be mixed in with the same people. he was nice in your opinion, you found it funny that his name was literally Chad but he was always nice. thus started the friendship between you two and you slowly became part of their friend circle, you were a year older than them but even after you graduated you stuck around. you wanted to take a gap year between high school and college to figure out what you wanted to do for the rest of your life.

that meant you were there when the ghostface situation happened. that when you met Sam, you instantly thought she was beautiful. you’d heard stories about her from Chad and Tara but never in depth, it was a sensitive topic for the young Carpenter girl.

you had even been there when they were all attacked. you didn’t want to go to the party at first, it felt insensitive but Chad and Mindy had told you it’s what Wes would’ve wanted to you decided why not.

you regretted that pretty quickly.

you’d been stabbed twice, once in the stomach and the other in the back when you had been trying to attack Amber. it was shortly after that you and Sam began getting closer. she had thanked you for staying and not running when you had the chance.

unlike Chad and Mindy, she didn’t see you as her little sisters friend, she hadn’t seen you grow up and she had just met you so she didn’t feel guilty to think you were rather attractive. being in cheer since you were a kid helped your body become more toned and Sam found no shame in checking you out whenever you were alone. she knew you had a crush on her, you weren’t exactly subtle, not that you even wanted to be. you were never the type to hide your feelings. it was on a random Friday night that those feelings really came to light, you had called her to come over so you could tell her how you really felt. one thing led to another and you hooked up. that continued up until you moved to New York when she finally asked you to be her girlfriend.

you always thought she wanted to keep it a secret for various reasons. one, you were Tara’s friend and four years younger than her. secondly, she wasn’t ready to have an open relationship after the shitty one she had before. so you accepted what you got and moved on.

once you all moved to New York you decided to go to college like the other three teens. at first you were going to room with a girl who was in a band meaning she would be up late practicing or writing music which was horrid. Tara had been the one to offer you to move in, you immediately turned to Sam but she quickly said it was a good idea. you’d be helping with the rent so she used that as her excuse. they only had three rooms and Quinn already lived with them so you slept in the living room (of course you’d sneak into Sam’s room once everyone was asleep and sneak back out in the morning) until you got enough money to get your own apartment. Mindy had said she’d be willing to move in with you during her sophomore year and you figured a couple more months of an uncomfortable couch couldn’t hurt. besides, sometimes Tara would offer her room as well.

loud music blasted around the house as young adults were talking to one another in small groups. you were talking to a girl who was getting a little too flirty in your opinion. you didn’t want to be there, you wanted to be with Sam out on a dinner date or at the movies - really anything as long as it was with her and you were out of her small room. but she had therapy so when Tara invited you to go out you didn’t have any excuse to say no.

you were dressed in one of your old cheer uniforms. it was basic but you didn’t care much for the party and you weren’t going to go out to buy a costume.

you listened to the brunette beside you talk about her high school years. truly you weren’t actively listening but you didn’t want to be rude by shutting her out or walking away. the brunette was cute, sure, but she wasn’t Sam Carpenter and you weren’t interested. she didn’t seem to be taking the hint though.

Mindy and Anika stood from their spot on the couch as they saw Tara about to walk away with some frat guy up to his room. you tried to move away from the brunette but she was still talking and you figured Mindy would be getting Chad which meant they did not need your help. you tried to seem like you were listening up until Chad approached you guys and aimed for the stairs where Tara was about to leave with the guy she met.

“hey partner” you heard Chad say. “Tara’s good down here”

you saw the douche glance at Tara and take a step down, “i’m sorry what? i didn’t catch that”

Chad chuckled, “uh, yeah. you did”

“Chad” Tara said quickly and walked down the steps until she’s up close to him, “it’s fine. i want to”

the dark haired boy mimicked Tara, “see Chad? she wants to” he said and turned grabbing Tara’s arm roughly to drag her up the stairs “come on”

“get your fucking hands off her” Chad was quick to grab the asshole and drop him down the steps making him bump into a stranger.

you quickly pulled away from the girl and walked up to Mindy as Chad and whatever his name is, began to shove each other roughly.

suddenly your girlfriend appears making them both stop to look at her. “guys. i’m sorry to interrupt i’m just gonna tase you in the balls real quick” you gasped in both surprise and awe. “don’t ever lay hands on my sister”

god she was hot.

you were finally standing near them and heard the asshole on the floor curse at Sam making you roll your eyes. what wasn’t so amusing though was Taras voice earning everyone’s attention, “Sam. are you fucking kidding me? you’re stalking me now” the younger Carpenter said and stormed off.

you sighed and watched your girlfriend look at her sister worriedly. you were so busy trying to make sure Sam was okay you didn’t realize the girl that had been latched into you the this whole time walk up to you with a flirt smile. shit.

“so,” she said flipping her hair to one side, “can i maybe get your number?” she asked with a smile that probably would’ve worked on you if you weren’t completely enamored with someone already.

you cleared your throat now noticing Mindy and Anika looking at you in slight confusion. you just hadn’t realized Sam was watching the whole interaction as well. “im sorry,” you said with an apologetic smile, “if i gave you the wrong signals but im not looking for anything right now”

the brunette didn’t seem offended or she didn’t show it and simply smiled before taking her leave. you felt a sense of relief wash over you, you weren’t sure what you would’ve done if she didn’t take your rejection so lightly.

your thoughts were cut off by a voice, “holy shit. it’s that psycho girl” a random guy said making you glance at Sam, there were people with their phones out recording everything causing the girl to shake her head and walk away. you, Mindy and Anika immediately followed.

you weren’t sure if Sam saw someone ask for your number so you made yourself invisible throughout the whole walk to the apartment. you didn’t say anything when Tara blew up on her and you tried to hold yourself back when some bitch threw their drink on Sam.

when you guys got back to the apartment the door of Sams rooms slammed shut with the girl on the other side. you sighed softly as Quinn got out of her room with a questioning look but as soon as she saw everyone’s face she knew what had happened. you saw Tara quickly follow her sisters actions minus the door slamming.

you took your time before going to Sam’s room, waiting until everyone was doing their own thing and finally opening the door and closing it behind you. there the raven haired girl was, an obvious pissed off look on her face as she sat on her bed looking into space. you sighed softly and approached her.

“im sorry” you said although your not sure why. you couldn’t help that another person was flirting with you, although you were sorry that people were shitty and there was nothing you could do about it.

Sam doesn’t respond making you frown, you knew this was all extremely upsetting. you couldn’t imagine being in her position, already having to suffer something so traumatic and then having to hear people say that it was all her fault and she was the real murderer. instead of saying anything else you sit on the bed beside your girlfriend and wrap your arms around her. she stiffens at first but slowly relaxes into your touch, her own arms wrapping around your waist.

“i love you” the words leave your lips like a breath of fresh air.

“i love you too” Sam responded in a slight murmur, her lips pressed against your neck. a smile appeared on your lips at the feeling. you expected the moment to be short and sweet but instead you began to feel her press open mouthed kisses from her shoulder up to her neck.

a breathy whimper escape you, “Sam” you said and tangled your hands in her hair, “everyone’s outside. they might hear” you said in a hushed tone and glanced at the closed door.

but the older girls lips didn’t leave your skin and slowly her kisses began to grow sloppier and rougher, her lips nipping and sucking at your skin which your sure will leave a mark.

“fuck Sam. i’m serious, we said no hickeys” you said trying to push the girl off of you.

“why? are you trying to hide the fact that your mine?” she said in a low tone. you could tell she was still pissed.

you rolled your eyes, “seriously? your the one who wants to keep us a secret”

Sam raised her head from your neck, “maybe it’s time we change that” she said and brought her lips down onto yours in a rough kiss. her action was swift and quick not giving you the chance to even think about her words.

her hands roamed your body until they were on your thighs where she began to squeeze roughly. the feeling of her lips alone were enough to turn you on. her lips were rough and hungry, her tongue invading your mouth without giving you a chance to return the intensity of it.

you wanted more, needed to feel her hands on you in more ways than just one so you moved your body to straddle her but she quickly stopped you. “no” she said and pulled away completely. “stand up” she demanded.

you were slightly confused at first but the look on her face made you hold back any questions as you followed her orders. soon you felt her warm body pressed against your back. you understood pretty quickly why she wanted you like this as you stared at your own reflection. there was a body length mirror in front of you.

“you look so pretty in this” she whispered softly into your shoulder as she pressed small kisses on it. even though her words were sweet you knew that wouldn’t last long.

her hands moved up your body and under your shirt to cup your breasts, she squeezed them roughly making your legs press together. you just needed her to fuck you. it seemed as if she had read your mind as her right hand left your shirt and moved down your body until she reached your skirt. her hand maneuvered under your skirt making you shiver. she grabbed your panties and roughly pulled them down your legs surely leaving a mark on your thighs by the roughness of her touch.

“why are you so wet baby?” she whispered as she began to rub your clit with two fingers. a soft moan left your lips making you bite your lip quickly after, you didn’t want anyone else in the apartment to know what you were doing. “did that bitch turn you on? huh?” she asked aggressively and both her hand on your chest as well as the one rubbing you matched her tone.

you shook your head to the best of your ability, “no, no baby.” Sam chuckled darkly.

“who makes you this wet?”

“you. always you” that seemed to please her and she slowly entered you with two fingers instantly making you moan louder than you should have. you right hand slapped against your mouth to contain your moans but that seemed to piss Sam off even more.

she slapped your arm making it fall beside you again. her pace was rough and fast and your knees were beginning to give in but you tried your best to stand upright. the pleasure was so intense your eyes were closed but every so often you would blink them open and see your girlfriend leaving hickeys on your neck with one hand in your shirt twisting your nipples and the other up your skirt. it only made you wetter and the allude sounds echoing throughout the room was proof of that.

“baby fuck” you whimpered and tangled your hand in the girls hair as you pressed her into your neck, this felt too good for her to stop.

“you like that?” she whispered and added another finger. you nodded quickly.

“yeah”

“cause your all mine baby. only i can make you feel this way. not that bitch at the party. me” you frantically nodded your head at every word that left her lips.

“only yours baby. only you make me feel this good” your answer pleased her even more as she began to curl her fingers inside of you making you see stars. the feeling was too intense and you weren’t sure how much longer you could last.

“such a pretty little slut” she whispered and softly bit your shoulder. tears were beginning to form in your eyes by the intensity of it and by how hard you were trying to keep yourself standing.

“please don’t stop” you whimpered desperately making Sam chuckle. her hand left your shirt and trailed your chest until she reached your neck. an excitement began to build in your chest at the anticipation of what was coming next. her hand squeezed your neck making you open your eyes.

your cheeks were flushed, your forehead glistening with sweat and the veins on Sams hand were beginning to show as she choked you.

“that’s it. open your eyes, watch how pathetic you look when i fuck you” your face was hot from both the humiliating words leaving your girlfriends lips as well as the sensation of your oxygen being controlled. she had complete and utter control of you then and there, her hand only letting a small amount of oxygen inside of your lungs every couple of seconds before she squeezed even more. you were beginning to grow lightheaded. you wouldn’t be surprised if she left a hand print on your neck from the aggressiveness.

it was too much for you. “i’m gonna cum” you choked out to the best of your ability.

Sam shook her head, “tell me who owns you”

you moaned and threw you head back onto her shoulder as her thumb began to circle your clit slowly. she was making this incredibly hard. you weren’t sure if you could stop yourself from letting go.

“you. you own me. i’m yours and only yours” you quickly said a lot clearer than you had before considering she’d loosen her grip.

Sam had a pleased smile on her lips at your response, “come for me baby” she finally said making your body unravel at once. your hand slapped against Sams arm and you squeezed tightly as the other pulled at her hair. your legs began to shake and Sam tried to hold you up with her body.

her name was thrown out into the room breathily and your eyes squeezed shut. her fingers continued to pump inside you slowly as she helped you come down from your high.

her hand competent left your neck and she wrapped it around your waist to keep you standing. once you felt like you had riches the ground again you began to whimper as Sams fingers were still inside of you.

“sensitive” you whispered and she quickly pulled out of you. slowly she helped you walk backwards until you reached the bed. she sat down and shortly after she pulled your front toward her and down onto her lap.

you were blissed out as you laid your head on her shoulder.

“i love you beautiful” she said gently and rubbed small circles on your back. even with the state you were in, a small smile formed on your lips at her words. she was always so sweet to you.

“i love you too” you murdered.

“are you okay? did i hurt you?” she asked pushing your body softly so you’d look at her and you pushed your head up so you were making eyes contact with her.

“im okay. i promise” you guys stayed like that for a little while, just basking in each others presence.

until you couldn’t stop yourself from bringing up the elephant in the room. “you reek like Cherry coke” you admitted with a soft smile.

Sam laughed as you pulled away to look at her once more, “you don’t like it?” she raised a brow teasingly.

“absolutely not” you laughed. “come on. shower. i don’t want you smelling like coke when we’re sleeping”

she chuckled softly and patted your thigh to signal you to stand. you did so with slightly shaky legs but your girlfriend was quick to place her hands on your waist to level you.

once you told her you’d be okay she pulled away and went to her dresser to get clothes.

you fixed your appearance a bit as well, you’d make the offer to shower with her but you’re sure everyone else was still in the apartment and you needed to leave Sams room before it got suspicious.

you turned your body to look in the mirror, your intention was to fix your hair and makeup but instead your eyes were focused on the huge mark on your neck.

“Sam, what the fuck” you whisper yelled and flipped your hair to the side of your neck as you turned toward her. she looked at you questioningly until she realized what you meant. she smiled.

“what? it’s about time people know your mine” she shrugged as if it’s no big deal.

“that’s great babe. really. but you didn’t have to give me five fucking hickeys the size of my neck in the progress!” you exclaimed.

Sam chuckled with a slight shrug. “they’re cute” she said simply and walked into her bathroom.

she’d be the death of you. you’re sure of it.

turns out all you needed was a little jealousy for her to tell everyone about you. as soon you walked out everyone noticed the hickeys on your neck and when they asked what the hell happened, Sam simply pecked your lips and sat on the couch as if it were no big deal.

[jurdanhell]

Okay so basically, I was re reading the chapter where Cardan asks Jude “and is it out of your system?” And Jude’s like “oh yea yea totally” sis, we all know that’s LIES 😂. I was just trying to imagine an alternate scene thinking.. what if she says no? Idk about anyone else but I think it would lead to basically chapter 15 part 2 so I was wondering if you could write a filthy something something 😂🥴 (like I mentioned before, no pressure)

I Will Know Nothing (Until I Know You)

Read it on AO3!

Word Count: 1,432

Rating: Mature

“And is it?" He asks. "Out of your system?”

I think of the blusher mushroom, the deathsweet, the wraithberry running through my veins with equal measure ferocity and instinct. We are alike in this way.

“No,” I say, because the indulgence of poison is one that I know greater than anything else.

I am unlearned at love and its making, but no matter how obvious that is to him, he does not let it show. Not when he guides my hands so carefully over him. Not when he redirects my nails to claw again at his back as he brings his mouth to the tender space just behind my ear. I suck my lip between the sharpest edges of my teeth, against the sound that rumbles in the back of my throat, because what this really is is a secret, and the more he knows is all the more he can use against me. I bite down on my lip hard enough to bleed. 

The familiar sickness of poison roils through my gut, twinged with something else. A layer of sweat sheens over my skin and I am dizzy from the blood that rushes to my cheeks, my head, no doubt as diseased as what I’d ingested only earlier today. As infected as myself. 

I tip my head back, again reminded of the things we’d done in that secret room behind the throne, and all the things we hadn’t. He brings his mouth to the hollow of my throat, pushing me back into the office in the Court of Shadows that I’ve taken as my own. He pauses only to push the door closed. 

The dizzying absence from his hands on my skin leaves as quickly as it arrives, as though it was aware of how soon it would be replaced with another, equally intoxicating feeling. 

Since my time in Faerie, I have grown very good at pretending. Pretending that my muscles do not sing from the acute pain from the swinging of my sword, pretending that it didn’t hurt every time I’d been made an example of being something lesser. Pretending that I do not feel as I do, hiding even from myself. I am not sure I keep the longing off my face, but with his hands drifting down the tie of my breeches, nose deep in the crook of my neck, I am not sure it matters. 

Perhaps desire is like mithridatism, where I should be taking doses slowly, accumulating my body to the poison until it affects me no longer. Perhaps my overindulgence here will kill me as surely as any sharp blade. 

It isn’t until he sinks down onto his knees, pushing the backs of my legs to the edge of the desk, mouth drifting across my navel that I decide that I do not care. 

Religion in Faerie is scarcely discussed, brought up only with the slandering of poor fates and cursed as surely as any gambling man might blame the hand. There might have been gods, once, but anything infinite in an immortal mind is just as easily forgotten. But he slides my breeches down to my knees with such piety, pushing my legs apart with such reverence that I’m sure one of us has found it. 

Something flutters in my chest as he brings his mouth to my center, looking up at me through his dark lashes. Not as though I ought to be the one praying, but as though this is the prayer. As though any noise I might make would make for choir, would carry the cadence of a hymn. He looks at me as though he means to memorize it, this moment. The shape of my very skin. 

His hands move methodically against me, into me. There is strategy here yet, and I refuse to concede. I will not concede. 

This time, I do not let my hands shake.

I bring one hand to his hair and knot my fingers so deeply I am not sure they will ever be free. I am not sure I want them to be. His tongue brushes flat against me, but it is the heat of his breath against my bare thigh that is my undoing. He moans my name against my skin, whispering dirty things I'm certain he would not say if his goal wasn't to make me give in. I will not give in. 

I lean back against the desk, putting my weight on my elbow. I’m half-aware of something being knocked to the floor when he sinks lower to bring one of my legs over his shoulder. 

There is an awful kind of pleasure in being granted what you’ve so desperately wanted, even if you’ve convinced yourself you didn’t. It seems we are both good at making terrible decisions. 

This deep underground, it is too dark for plants to grow. There are no windows to allow moonlight to skim in, pooling like milk against the scarce furniture that was undoubtedly stolen for the home of thieves. That does not stop vines from snaking their way up the walls, cloying around any surface they can find purchase on. Surely, deep down in their making, they must know they were doomed to die the moment they sprouted. There is nothing for them here. No light, no water. No chance for survival. 

That is what I tell myself as Cardan’s other hand slips beneath my shirt to palm at my breast. That is what I tell myself as I let him. There is no chance for survival. There is no way I would have survived this, anyway. 

Maybe I can still take him down with me. 

His finery is disarranged as I pull against his hair, beckoning him to his feet as I yank him roughly overtop of me, laying myself flat against the desk, my hair spilling over the edge. He looks dissatisfied, as though he were a cat whose cream I’d just stolen for no other reason than to be cruel.

I am, I know. But not for this. 

His lips are swollen when I bring them roughly to my own, tasting myself from his mouth. It is a stupor that fills my lungs, my brain, working its way into my blood that controls me. My volition is not my own. I do not think it has been for a long while. 

My hands go to his breeches, toying with the lace in the front, but not untying it. I do not know much, enough that he is aware of, but not so little that I am completely unknowledgeable. I refuse to think of the way he looked up to me, his mouth against the softest parts of my skin, drawing sensitive shapes with his teeth, his tongue. 

A flower I do not recognize springs from the ivy that unfolds above us, a deep blue that might have been purple in the sun, trumpeting from its stem on the vine. Its yellow-white center does not shy away from the darkness of the room around us. 

I move my hands to undo the buttons of his shirt with as much slowness as I can manage with his mouth working delicious cruelties over a soft spot on my neck. 

The room is overcome with blooming buds in the darkness. One of my hands drifts over a knot of scars at his back, and I realize that it is not despite the darkness that they crest so fully, so openly, that it is in spite of it. That, maybe there is a kind of bravery in being so honest. In knowing the risks of a poison, and taking the plunge anyway. 

He pushes himself against me in a way that is somehow more intimate than when we were both bare. It is not unlike when the clouds part from a silvered sky, letting the moonlight drink in the land, the faelights crashing up into the stars and melding into the air. Somehow, the unbrokenness of this moment is what is visceral, is so guarded by its profoundness that it will know nothing else. I am certain that when I open my eyes, I will see stars.

I am filled with a hatred so hot it warms me from the inside out, so bright that I might never truly be cold. 

I hate that he is the one that makes me feel this way, and that the statement alone is as much honesty I can bare, even to myself. I am a coward. 

My thoughts are splintering under the guiding action of his fingers, and I realize his clever poison is not simply along the sweat of his skin or tucked in between stolen kisses. It is in his words, his breath, and it is in me, too. And now, I am not sure I will ever be able to escape it.

Masterlist

i don't think i've ever written a first-person tfota fic. anyway i have absolutely nothing to say for myself. enjoy, sluts and whores <3

Tag List:

@cutekawaiihentaiboobies @cardan-greenbriar-tcp @slightlyrebelliouswriter23 @whoviantalibah @snusbandxknifewife @goddess-of-writing @storiesandschemes @thesirenwashere @aelin-queen-of-terrasen @andromeddea @clockworkgraystairs @hizqueen4life @highqueenjudeduarte @the-chick-of-the-air @dorkzrul @sassylunars @justabunchoffandoms @queenofgreenbriar @fandomfanatic987 @df3ndyr @brittneyal @woodsbeyond1 @clouds-and-peonies @mis-lil-red @firestarsandseneschals @b00kworm @bisexual-bibliophile @greenbumblebee @danaanruhn @acciomanorian @ireallyshouldsleeprn @vanessa172003 @janeslandrys @potterpasties @nahthanks @ahdiejajdjsiaksudjjssj @queen-of-demons-and-hell @thefolkofthefic @myunfortunatenightmare @reneereadsstuff @lordoftermites @figonas @aftg-tcp-soc4402 @dumble-daddy @greenbriarxrose @shadowhuntingdemigod @pollyaunt @kittkatandbooboo @savagelysarcasticsilence @romantic-loverr @teenyweenynightghost @bookcide

[alexanderlightweight]

Happy Wednesday!

If it tickles your fancy, I would love, love, love, love, love a fic of any flavor in the Mob Wife Alexander Lightwood universe you just casually yeeted onto my dashboard because that's obviously going to live in my head rent free for the next many moons. <3

(What a world omg)

Laws i love this verse so it will always tickle my fancy to get prompts and saeth keeps sending me things that boost my interest. Well this is definitely a flavor in that verse and I hope you enjoy it because it took a turn I didn’t imagine it taking.

Seriously I never planned this character to be in the fic or ever write from their pov and then it was like ‘oh hey interesting let’s do it”.

So this is basically an interlude after Alec’s figured he could either be a bodyguard or a boytoy and only one of those gets to flirt and touch Magnus all night.

Simon pov (he’s an unreliable narrator, prone to rambling, anxiety and dramatic and humorous interludes and he lacks so much info)

Alec is just like: I would just like to get back to my husband. he doesn’t sleep as well when I’m gone, so please talk as little as possible and just listen first.

Simon: I’m so glad I can’t breathe. If I move he’ll kill me.

(also mob wife is an occupation not a gender role but Simon doesn’t get that… yet)

—

“Simon.”

And Simon shivers because Alec Lightwood doesn’t need to raise his voice to be terrifying.

And Simon is terrified.

Officially.

But also not overwhelmingly so.

Because he’s also finally seventy percent sure Alec won’t kill him, which is much better than the fifteen percent Simon thought it was until recently.

Though in a crisis, he’s also the one Simon wants to hide behind.

Even in the beginning, Simon’s chances were always better with Alec, even if they both complained about it.

“Okay, yeah right. I’m Simon.” He hears himself say and he reminds himself to take a breath even though he doesn’t need to.

A lack of heartbeat and oxygen only mean that even Simon’s own body won’t save him from panic anymore.

“Yes? I know you’re Simon.”

And Alec says it like it's an obvious conclusion but Simon is just really happy to hear him say it, especially without a threat.

Because Alec isn’t the kind of person who is casual with most people and Simon is almost nothing to him.

Sometimes Simon worries he’s just another body to Alec — one in the congo-line-of-lovers that Izzy has had — but then Izzy reminds him he’s the only boyfriend Alec’s bothered to remember the name of.

And Simon is also one half of Clary’s package deal and boy, that sure did him no favors when they first met.

He takes pride in it.

“Simon—“ Alec says and he’s sighing, deep and long and Simon wonders if his inattention and eagerness has once again doomed his — now second — attempt at living.

Well living while being dead but Simon might actually stay dead this time if he lets his thoughts keep going.

“The greenhouse?” Alec is asking him and Simon wonders why until he remembers how much he hates Alec’s office.

The greenhouse is the only other place Alec takes official meetings.

And something shivers down Simon’s spine.

Because Alec doesn’t even like him but he’s noticed Simon’s dislike.

This is an Alec that’s trying to be careful.

So just how much does Alec notice? Simon wonders and the little part of his brain that he’s learned can save his life tingles.

Where does it end?

“For the love of, Simon sit the fuck down and breathe every fifth count.”

Simon finds himself on the hard marble of the Institute’s unfamiliar greenhouse floor. His head between his knees and a too heavy hand roughly smacking his back in sets of five.

There is brightness on his face when he finally opens his eyes.

“This is sunlight!” He accuses angrily, because he finally trusted Alec a full seventy percent and now this.

Betrayal!

“Simon you’re a daylighter. You were blasted by the soul sword and survived. You’re fine.”

And Alec doesn’t sound sympathetic and Simon winces because well—

Okay yeah. That’s fair.

Plus Alec has seen Simon drunkenly dance naked in the sun and that is a memory neither of them talk about.

It actually calms Simon down, because if Alec refrained from killing him when he plastered his naked body to Alec’s and yelled ‘teach me how to fight future brother-in-law!” Alec had in fact, spared his life.

First by not killing him.

And secondly, for not telling Magnhs that Simon’s no-good-very-bad-brain decided it was perfectly reasonable to cop a feel of Alec’s ass with vampiric strength.

It’s not a bad ass.

A little flat but very muscular with thighs that could break a neck and Simon tries very hard not to work himself back into a panic.

He does not need Alec Lightwood bringing him down from a panic attack while he thinks about how he nakedly gropped Magnus’ Bane husband’s ass hard enough that Alec had sighed and in the medical bay he’d dragged Simon to, activated an iratze.

“Magnus is going to know that these marks aren’t his.” Alec had said casually, “and he’s not going to like it. I really didn’t like it. You certainly didn’t like it either, if you know what’s good for you. So therefore, this never happened.”

And Simon is never ever going to tell even Clary that he did like it.

He’d liked it very much and he’d suddenly understood Magnus’ instant obsession.

Which had turned into a new crisis.

Because Simon’s taste is apparently Lightwood’s.

Which is not helpful for his continued life expectancy.

Because it will either be Izzy for eyeing up her married brother, Magnus for eyeing up his husband, and Alec for Simon’s sheer audacity.

“Simon, do I need to get someone else?”

“No!” Simon manages to get out because Alec Lightwood-Bane can never find out that he snapped out of the panic attack three minutes ago and almost sent himself into another panic attack because of said man’s ass. “I’m good. I’m good.”

Alec doesn’t look impressed but Simon knows he must not look very impressive.

He doesn’t take it personally.

Alec isn’t impressed by anyone besides Magnus, unless he’s impressed by someone’s stupidity.

And that never turns out well.

“Okay, so what can I do you for? I mean for you. What can I do for you?”

Alec is eyeing him like Simon is Magnus’ awful snake Baby.

Which is rude.

Because Simon has seen Alec with that nasty little worm and Alec is much nicer to Baby than he is to anyone besides Magnus and Madzie.

“Okay so listen carefully. This is a lot of information I’m going to give tou. Magnus has several identities in the mundane world. Some of them are linked legally but most of them are involved and hold a great deal of power in mundane crime groups.”

“Magnus is a mob boss!” Simon gasps out in giddy delight and then Alec is ruining his joy like the grumpy dilf he is.

The grumpy dilf he is not.

Because Simon doesn’t even know what a dilf is and he’s never been so glad that Alec can’t read his mind.

“No Simon. He’s not actually running a mob or gang or whatever else you’re thinking. He’s simply a powerful individual and is known for his information and skills and he has a lot of money. Nobody wants to be on his bad side. Everyone wants to be on his good side. So he has the authority of someone high-up and even the mundanes behave in Brooklyn. I personally don’t really care how Magnus got his status or how he maintains it.”

And Simon has so many questions but Alec has his—

if-you-interrupt-me-I’m-shoving-my-hand-through-your-chest-and-exiting-with-your-heart

— look on his face.

And Simon has seen that security footage. So he stays silent.

“It’s a persona that most High Warlocks do. Create identities in the mundane underbelly of their territories. Make sure the mundanes fear and respect them enough that they can come and go freely. They need to be trusted to keep an eye on any slip-ups. And no, they’re not undercover. They’re not doing the mundanes work for them.

“But Magnus and I quite honestly don’t care. We protect mundanes from the shadowworld, not from themselves. If the mundanes want to kill themselves and each other, that’s their problem. So long as they only do it in mundane ways and not with ties to the shadowworld. We don’t need the clave coming down here, bristling about the accords anytime soon, or anytime at all.”

And Simon swallows because he understands how serious this is, intimately.

Aldertree was sent by the clave.

He remembers Aldertree.

Izzy remembers Aldertree.

A lot of people remember Aldertree.

So he keeps focused, listening to the hummingbird-wing-beat of Alec’s pulse under his words.

“Magnus has done this for centuries. He knows what he’s doing. But we’d both prefer if I could go with him in the future.”

And Simon is practically vibrating because he’s nearly positive that he’s about to get a padawan.

Which, even in such a serious situation, is amazing!

“Which means I need to know more about modern mundane culture than I do.” Alec is grimacing and Simon knows it’s a testament to just how much Alec loves Magnus that he’s doing this.

“Magnus gets by because he has centuries of knowledge but I’ll need a crash course. And no Simon, I cannot read your mind.” Alec Lightwood’s eye roll continues to be a thing of beauty and Simon feels his undead soul un-die a little more. Because Alec definitely can’t read minds.

Or Simon wouldn’t continue existing.

“Look, Magnus and I went over a list of all the questions you might possibly ask. He gave me the answers so I didn’t have to waste time. We both agreed you’d be the best to ask, since you spend the most time around young adult mundanes. And you’re popular with your peers.”

Simon feels like he’s dreaming or maybe died again.

Except this is a much nicer if not possibly a more traumatizing experience than his first death so Simon concludes it has to be real.

His luck is always this bad.

“Magnus thought and I agreed that it would be just you and I, you tend to—“ and Alec trails off and Simon has a moment where he wishes he’d never drank Jace’s blood.

Because Alec is trying to be considerate.

Because he’s trying not to say that Simon can’t handle being in the same room with both of them after the incident.

It’s mortifying.

“Right, so do I need to call Magnus so he can join us?” And Alec looks very serious, eyes dark and calm and without a flicker of anger or of true concern. Alec is a good leader not because he cares but because he makes himself act regardless of care.

It took a while for Simon to realize that sometimes the people who care the most are the ones who let you down the worst.

And Simon winces, because Alec does look incredibly tired compared to when Simon saw him… however long ago.

“No sorry. I’m good, just a surprise. But like a good surprise, it’s like I’m Q and—“ and Simon trails off with a sigh because there’s no point and he is shocked when Alec runs his big hands over his scruffy perfect Lightwood face.

Or maybe it’s his Trueblood genes.

Whatever.

“Yes, okay fine. Simon you can be Q. But if you call me 007 or whistle that obnoxious tune I will give you cause to regret it.”

“You know 007?” Simon actually gasps, because this might truly be some epic dream and he doesn’t even register the threat.

Well, his hindbrain does and it’s screaming, but Simon can’t listen to it over the shockhold Alec’s words have put him in.

“Simon, consider who my husband is. Just for a minute.”

And Simon does consider it.

He considers how a delighted and charmed Magnus would coax Alec into ‘research’ for his ‘undercover excursion into the mundane world’.

“Oh my god.” Simon barely breathes out, “Magnus made you marathon them.”

And Alec is gritting his teeth. Simon can hear the grind of his incisors and he swallows, hard.

“Right. Absolutely no mentions of triple digits or shockingly appropriate theme songs.”

And Simon’s death flashes—

hunger the dirt the gnawing-bite-thirst-trap-feed of hunger and Clary’s screams

— before his eyes when Alec gives an exasperated sigh.

The moment passes and Alec is giving him a begrudging yet judgmental look.

“It’s often that the criminal part of mundane life is where the shadow world slips over. Magical drugs slip into mundane ones, easy money, anything goes. And no one cares about that except sometimes it leaves evidence. Unexplainable evidence that mundanes want explained. Right now Magnus is chasing a new rumor; and we’d like for me to be able to go with him.”

This is quite possibly the single coolest thing Simon has ever been involved in.

“So are you going in as his bodyguard? A new dealer of some super magic drug? Oh. My. God. Alec, are you going to be a rival boss or something coming in? Or a hitman? Are you going in as Magnus’ cleaner?”

And Alec is staring at Simon like he’s actually truly lost it.

Which Simon doesn’t get. They’re all obviously the best and most understandable choices.

“Simon, Magnus is my husband. Obviously I’m his mob wife.”

And Simon can’t breathe, but he feels the oxygen knocked out of his lungs.

Because Alexander Gideon Lightwood-Bane — a man who has prevailed heavily in both Simon’s nightmares and his recent and most horrifying wet dreams — wants to learn how to be a proper mob wife.

“Oy vey.” Simon manages to get out and then he looks up at Alec and blinks at his too-tall, too-powerful body.

And wonders how he’s supposed to guru Alec into anything that can pass as what middle-aged criminals will consider a wife.

Mob or otherwise.

Later they’re finally finishing up their first crash course and Alec looks worse than he did with his own arrow through his chest.

But he escorts Simon out, ordering his shadowhunters absently to various duties and checking in as he passes and Simon takes it in with a sudden wonderment.

Simon’s seen more changes of leadership in his short time as a part of the shadowworld than is normally seen in a generation.

And he got a much more up-close and unwanted personal view of how badly it can go.

And Alec is… he’s surprisingly really great. Even if Simon only has shitty examples to compare him to and so when Simon is walking out into the sun and Alec is going through a portal that appears out of nowhere, he lets his guard down and mutters.

“He’s so totally M.”

And just before the portal warps out of existence, Simon’s hearing picks up a quiet, irritated—

“Simon.”

And he winces.

Alec’s senses are frightening and Simon is a vampire.