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#and im always so scared of saying something that will get me hosptizaled again. Even when it shouldnt. bc im not going to do anything.
melto
·
8 months
Text
something just like snapped in the back of my head like i Need to go like curl up in my room for like 5 days and play video games and not speak to like anyone
#^ guy who is not out of a depressive ep like he thought he sorta was
#dont even like particularly feel the old urge of the anxiety/need to hurt my relationships like i used to..i just feel like shit.
#short list of people i think i could handle like really speaking to rn but ultimately. i just want to be somewhere safe and easy
#even if that feeling is like making me feel sorta suicidal still.
#just dont have it in me to like figure out how to act normal right now. something i have to do around most people and nearly everyone
#i intreact with irl right now
#not healthy. Ofc naturally i know this. and i can push through it. im just not excited about it.
#the exhaustion to like contain myself is greater than my lonliness even though that is rather large
#and i would like to get this out of my system before like. the semester starts next week. which i know i cant like control but whatever
#this is all sooooo stupid. i need to be alone but i need compaionship of someone i trust.
#it feels like there is glue in my mouth and i can barely speak to people im not close with bc of how exhausted and anxious i am
#man. thearpy is like. going to really . idk. probably not help my mood. bc it has been hard for me to word what has been happening to me
#and im always so scared of saying something that will get me hosptizaled again. Even when it shouldnt. bc im not going to do anything.
#but i am scared and tired simply. and while so much has gotten better and ive gotten so much better there are some things that i just.
#cant seem to figure out how to fix or ask for help. whatever. Guy who is stupid and helpless and will have to just get over it at some poin
#sry i just feel like shit. i should probably just eat something i havent been eating much. and then i will probably feel a bit better
#news with isaac
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