#but i am scared and tired simply. and while so much has gotten better and ive gotten so much better there are some things that i just.

[melto]

something just like snapped in the back of my head like i Need to go like curl up in my room for like 5 days and play video games and not speak to like anyone

[hotcat37]

Number 60 in the Stalker!Tommy AU? 🙂

the amount of stalker! Tommy requests in my inbox....y'all are sick!! (so am I)

60: petting/stroking

Jere has gotten back into the bad habit of biting at his sleeves. He's been doing it ever since he was a kid, the sleeves of his sweater finding their way between his teeth whenever he felt scared or anxious. Nowadays he only tends to do it before a particularly big gig. When was the last time he had a big gig? Jere is pretty sure that he was supposed to perform at one yesterday. Or the day before that.

His teeth dig into thick material when he hears the doors of the shed sliding apart. Jere doesn't move, lying completely still on the mattress, facing the cold wall. He thinks it might be night time but he can't be sure. The only light in the shed comes from the occasionally flickering light bulb Tommy usually remembers to leave on. But sometimes he forgets. Jere's body automatically tenses when he hears footsteps growing closer. It's been several days now but that knee jerk panic reaction is still there.

"You sleeping?" Tommy's soft voice calls out to him. Jere doesn't cease his chewing but doesn't respond either. He tries not to flinch when the mattress dips under the weight of Tommy moving to lie beside him. Hot breath on the back of his neck. Jere shudders in disgust.

Tommy's hands start to wander, craving physical contact. Sometimes he's kind of like a puppy. Jere knows it's a laughable comparison but it's true. He's come to realize that Tommy would do anything for love. That he becomes almost frantic when Jere hasn't let him touch him in a few hours.

He still doesn't want Tommy to touch him. But he's too tired to fight it right now, simply lying there while long fingers start stroking up and down his torso. It doesn't induce arousal in any way but Jere figures that isn't the point to begin with. The rapper closes his eyes, tries to think of anything, anyone else.

He wonders if Jesse is losing his mind stressing over all the missed gigs right now. How many messages and calls his brother left him. If the rest of the crew have trashed his apartment in the hope of somehow finding him there. Is anybody looking for him?

Tommy pets him, gently stroking messy, tangled hair. The act is tender. Jere craves and resents it all the same. Sometimes he scares himself with how badly he wants Tommy to be here with him. His entire body shakes with anxiety but it's much worse when he's all by himself. Abandoned. He glances down at the other hand stroking patterns over his throat. Tommy's skin is sickly pale, noticeable even in the dim light. Jere knows his own flesh doesn't look much better. Worse, possibly. He hasn't been outside for days.

"You know I love you, yeah?" Tommy breathes into his ear, a hint of desperation in his tone. His petting is becoming less and less soothing.

Jere bites a hole into his sleeve.

[danielleee-x]

Not everything needs to fit in a box.

We've reduced ourselves and all human experiences to a story, an aesthetic, something you can share with the world with your best side forward. It reduces yourself to a quick one liner, while we are all more complex than that. Complex in a multiple movie series way. Having 8 movies made about your life time wouldn't fit every thought, feeling and experience you've had. So why have we, as a collective, started making ourselves smaller to fit a certain ideology? Where is our individuality? And simultaneously our sense of community? Every time you breathe out, you name a different 'aesthetic' or 'core' you want to fit in. Changing wardrobes every few weeks or months. Following rules about trends. Fashion or other. Letting social media and it's fleeting expectations rule your every thought. Claiming to be 'very open-minded' and 'loving' but judging the second one doesn't conform to society and it's confusing ways of living. Where is real human connection? How often are you able to walk outside without crippling anxiety dripping down your forehead at every step? Have you spoken to a stranger lately? Someone outside of your bubble? Have you realized in the last 6 months that there is more to life than the opinion of some man or woman on a social media platform, that is made to profit off of your young mind? Have you heard an older person share their mind about any philosophies around living or love? Have you taken a moment to simply breathe? Have you taken just one second to stop thinking about activism, or on the other spectrum - your hate for your fellow humans? Did you know that you don't have to perfectly politically correct all of the time? Could you please just breathe!?

Take a moment. Breathe. Stop the overconsumption for a second. Let your mind rest. Life is not lived as quickly as the world on your phone has made you believe. Every second ticks away slower than you'd like but I suggest you let it happen. Slow your nervous system down. You feel, post, see, consume, realize too much. Humans weren't meant to live in a manner where we know everything that goes on in every part of this world. We can't care about everything. We can't stay stuck in a devil's circle where we're always trying to be better, do better and change for the best. We're being conditioned to disregard our time and I have gotten sick of it the last few months. It's not normal to post pictures of yourself regularly. Follow an aesthetic for your feed. Grab your phone every time you have nothing to do...or even when you do... and are in company of others. Art is beautiful and photography is art but it's been commercialized down to control your every thought. What even is the art of noticing? And why do we feel the need to like the posts with all these pictures of nature's closeups when we could simply notice them ourselves outside? What is this act of pretentiously caring about everything? Why does everything feel so pretentious lately? Why can't we just take a breather.. You've been conditioned to be okay with overexposure. It is okay, I have been aswell. But for the love of god, take a step back.. All of us. I am scared for the road we are currently on. Simultaneously running into oncoming traffic with our eyes wide open and not stopping one another. Where is this supposed to go? I am tired of us as humans. We've stopped thinking individually and follow one of the many leaders who are equally as dumb as us. Not meaning leaders as in world leaders, while that is applicable aswell, I mean leaders as in all these single individuals thinking their every thought is worth being posted and being seen by us on our feeds. Everyone suddenly has a voice while no one has something proper to say. We've learned a lot about ourselves and the world through the community talking but people that shouldn't have a megaphone are handed two or three and we're all listening. Why is it that we are still listening? Even if it is to hate on it? Why are we consuming any second of their opinions on matters not concerning them? Let us fucking stop listening. Let us stop consuming. Let us just fucking stop for a second and breathe and let time pass as slowly as it fucking pleases.

Let's take a collective step back soon or we'll all fall over the edge together.

[brokenmusicboxwolfe]

Venting time. Apologies.

Gah, what a week.

I discovered I had not one, but two tires with problems. So now I am trying to drive as little as possible while I figure out how I can afford to buy new ones. Guess I’m even more trapped than usual.

The mice I start trying to poison a week and a half ago aren’t dying. Instead there are more, who have decided to throw nightly parties next to my bed. I have had to start moving my books** to Mom’s house, but I am still worried about what they are gnawing on.

I had a mysterious and terrifying medical problem one night. It was the sort of thing where IF I didn’t have a blinding phobia of health care professionals (traumatic valid reasons) and IF I had health insurance and IF I had money at all and IF I had any sort of an emotional or practical support structure to help me I’d have been at an ER. Instead I was lying awake all night, afraid I might not wake up and wondering if I should write something to beg people not to throw out my sculpting and journals when I die…just in case***.

I felt okay the next day and ever since, but suddenly dropping dead lingers in my mind.

I dropped my camera in the swamp!

I can’t really explain why, but for the last couple of months I have taken to going out to the swamp and and just lying on the ground to watch the beavers and ducks do their thing. All my life I have spent so much time in the woods, but lying down out there was an absolute no. There are simply too many bitey things around here, and it has gotten so you can run into ticks year round. The only time I ever actually lay on the ground was during a near suicidal bout I had. I’m not that depressed yet.

Anyway, lying there right next to the swamp, trying to take a photo without scaring a beaver nearby, had my camera balanced on my thigh. And then it got unbalanced, and down it went, rolling into the water (admittedly only a couple feet away) with a PLOP. At least it still works, mostly.

BUT my phone has decided to stop working! Well, some of the time it works. Some of the time it’s like listening to the inside of a tornado, and you can’t hear a damn thing. Other times it won’t dial. And others it cuts off in the middle of a call. It took seven tries today before I could get Mom. It worked fine then, but it’s been so unreliable this week I have no idea if it will work.

I wish I could say next week will be better, BUT I have a very, very, very long list of things I didn’t get done last week, including at least three extremely urgent problems that got lost with new urgent things to deal with.

I dunno, lying under that tree next to the swamp until I rot away sounds kinda appealing right now….

Or not. Enduring mosquito swarms **** would be a fate even worse than death!!

** I don’t get other folks and books. I saw someone on here saying you should pack books in shoeboxes and I howled with laughter. My family are books people with thousands of books. As a child I would pack a small suitcase of just books when we went on trips. I had moved most of mine when the floor first collapsed, BUT I did keep a few. Few hundred actually.

***My brother once said he intends to throw out all my stuff when I die, and I have no one else to leave my things to. Besides, the way my cousins’ belongings disappeared when they died, likely junked before we even knew they were dead, I have little confidence that he will even get the chance to decide the fate if my things.

**** Winter ended WAY too soon this year, and I am already sick to death of the damn mosquitoes. Not a good sign when it’s still fuckin’ February!!!!

[ess-presso]

hi ess <3

miss taylor: dancing with our hands tied, blank space, & treacherous <3

ty for the fic rec <3 i love texting fics sm i eat em up everytime. here's one for u, operation: toebeans by moonymoment (cute lil wolfstar fic, they fuck around with minnie and shes so tired of them)

chatting <3

id love to see a massive colonel sanders statue irl. it would definitely be significant enough for people to make pilgrimages to it & in fact i think id visit it myself.

fuck san francisco (im sure its lovely) i hate it there (it looks kinda cool tbh). sadly we've already broken best friend code cause she lives in a different city for uni 💔💔 havent seen that bitch since the beginning of january and im losing my mind. but its fine i think i get to see her this month🕺

ah yes the only two requirements to date someone: be hot and funny. (no but fr thats it. the bar is so low)

hozier <3333 (yes canadian money smells like maple syrup!!! just the notes though not the coins. i wish the coins were scented too)

now for the jesus/judas au..... i think peter simply has to be judas. but for jesus i wanna say james because judas revealed jesus' identity = peter revealing james & lily's location (although sirius as jesus would be funny too with his long jesus-like hair & the way he kinda came back to life via escaping azkaban)

american harry styles scares me fr.

fuck seagulls like actually. they always steal my food at the beach while im swimming and i cant swim back in time to stop them. theyre public enemies around these parts.

oh god. an eighteen year old dating a fourteen year old while he has another gf...... so fucking gross. (someone free both those girls rn. actual leonardo dicaprio behaviour)

i got anne carson's sappho fragments book for christmas & i was gonna go ahead and annotate it but now i feel like i should wait until i have someone to annotate it for. or maybe ill just annotate it and then i can give it to my person when they come along <3

ur def right im the opposite of final girl material but i am impulsive and stubborn so i will explore the church if its the last thing i do. (it will be the last thing i do cause im gonna end up getting myself killed)

six cans of monster can cure anything & i truly believe that. even a horrible hangover.

philosopher's stone>>>> sorcerer's stone sounds so bad anyways. im glad canada isnt quite dumb enough to get the sorcerer's stone treatment.

all of my halloween costumes are pretty lame tbh. i was a bee for my first bday (hence my nickname) but ive been a witch, vampire, zombie, ghost, etc. nothing special really

u should definitely tell harvard. theyd be too stunned to deny u entry its foolproof.

i loved blowing things up in chem. truly my only motivation to go to class.

using music apps based on our fav colours thats so real of us.

i may not have gotten wingstop but i did see florida (jumpscare)

joey in season one <3333

infinite bag of money thats a great idea how did i not think of that.

u will be banker one day. im manifesting this for u.

tumblr will forever be the superior social media idc. this website is untouchable.

oh god that guys a mummy's boy...... freud would absolutely lose his mind. a field day.

i understand u. like sometimes ur drunk self has a mind of its own and will do random shit. ive cut my hair drunk and woke up very confused but at least i managed to not botch it!!!

love in the dark is SUCH A JEGULUS SONGGG oh my god. adding to my jegulus playlist right this instant.

omg listening to music while looking at art>>>>>> perfection. makes u feel so peaceful and cool fr. (WENDYS!!! i love wendys so much.)

ur completely right id rather be having a horrible time with liv than be somewhere nice with someone i hate. doesnt matter what we're doing or whats happening it'll just be better if shes there.

i love that taylor likes 13 like yes girl me too. but 13 is actually a lucky number in italy so my family has always liked it!

oh god james and lily im so sorry......im just glad i wasnt born in 1981 or else id be highly suspicious that im the reincarnation of one of them.

american and canadian accents are super similar unless we're talking southern united states or far eastern canada. they literally sound irish over there no joke.

drarry <3 i just love the angst. so many possibilities for them.

jily & jegulus <33 ur right, jegulus for the fics (theres just SO many good ones) but jily for the ships theyre just so sweet.

after that guy i swore to never watch a movie for someone i like ever again. (also mainly because most of the time the movie is SO BAD!!!!) but yes its so cute when ur watching something with someone and they tell u all about it <333

we kinda did have a lot of paint lying around! it was mostly just lil kid art sets with crappy cheap markers and pencils but they were fun. if i was lucky i was allowed to use my parents fancy stuff.

it was genuinely so funny like i wish i couldve seen the sock fall from the audience's perspective i bet it was ridiculous.

literally ezra/aria. it was so gross but at least it wasnt real.

rude old people make me so mad like how have u lived so much of ur life and still carry so much hate in u......get a life old lady!!!!!!

hermione & harry <33

its true dramione fics are better. romione fics are usually just as bland as they are in canon. still cute tho.

tote bags!!!! love em. and omg a pride and prejudice tote thats so cool. i have one with constellations all over it i love it sm. (but also tote bags make my shoulders hurt so bad i swear im gonna get scoliosis one day)

wireless headphones till i die!!!!! how am i supposed to clean my room while watching netflix or something with wired headphones. how am i supposed to cook with wired headphones.

omg a 2! alexa play lover by taylor swift. (im a 5, apparently the investigators. i do love solving a good puzzle so ill take it)

red nail polish 4ever. looks good with anything i swear. my fav is a dark wine red and its just perfect.

wait thats so funny. it sounds straight out of an episode of friends or something. (glad everyones okay!!!!)

THATS SO CUTE!!!!! AHHHHH! top tier gift fr.

also a top tier gift. signed copies of ur fav books + unabridged podg + museums???? a flawless gift.

THE EMMA QUOTE OHHHH MY GOD!! i love that quote so fucking much. those are all so good. quotes that make u feel completely unzipped are the best always.

that poem is so good wtf. "i fear no fate (for you are my fate my sweet)" WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!!! IM UNWELL.

i wanna visit the lake district so bad ohhh my god. it looks so nice. the air looks so crisp there.

the locket that is so cute im crying!!!!!! i have a pic of liv and i from when were like 3/4 grinning at each other and ive wanted to put it in a locket forever so u have inspired me thatll be her bday gift.

tigers are so cool thats an excellent choice. king of the jungle fr.

horror movies & romcoms thats so real of u. the duality of man. & horror movie adrenaline rushes are unlike anything i swear.

not picking between jily and jegulus REAL!!! theyre both so perfect.

answering qs!

im not allergic to anything! (that i know of. so far so good.)

i totally believe in fate, at least to the "everything happens for a reason" degree. i think people need to just live their lives and let things happen cause we cant control everything and it would be impossible to even try. if its meant to be then itll be.

i accidentally fucked up a really good friendship a while ago by not being there for someone when they needed it (to be fair we were both going THRU it so i didnt realize) but we both moved on & they had moved to a different school so we drifted apart eventually. shit happens but theyre happier now so thats good.

i wake up bright and early (its 12pm.) i gracefully get out of bed (i sit on my phone for half an hour before dragging myself out of bed) i go brush my teeth and do skincare (i do brush my teeth but i definitely dont feel like doing skincare) i go make a nice nutritious meal (i make a coffee and some toast if its a good day) i do a wakeup workout (i sit in bed and drink my coffee) i get dressed for the day (im not changing out of my pjs) i do my makeup (im not doing my makeup) i head to campus for my class (my class is online. i stay in bed.)

spiderman or thor!!! ive never read any of the comics so this is purely based on their movies but peter parker i love that man. and thor is a dumb idiot i love him.

i think id switch lives with either elon musk or jeff bezos so i can give away all their money to charity or to pay for important things that they can afford like solving world hunger. i think id also love to switch lives with timothee chalamet like what goes on in that boy's head hes so funny sometimes.

(like which pre-existing fic do i wish i was the author of?) i wish i had written just lovers by zar (also intermission by zar) just because that fic is a masterpiece and to be the author of such a work of art would be an honour.

i wish i had written the iliad and the odyssey cause it would be cool as fuck to be as iconic as homer. (also since homer mightve not actually existed id love to be that much of an enigma too. keep em guessing)

ive never been in love! ive liked people but it never gets past that. i guess im just waiting for the right person to come along. but also, in a way i think i fall in love with everyone i meet. some people are just so cool and ill carry that memory of them forever.

i dance and sing a lot when im drunk. i get loud in general but i will karaoke the shit out of whatever is playing. also i get giggly cause everything becomes funny for no reason.

the worst fight liv and i have had is so dumb, she called me telling me that she was having people over at her place for her bday. i said i wasnt sure if i could make it bc i had 4 papers due that same weekend but i would try bc i obviously wanted to be there for her bday. she called me back a bit later sobbing saying she wanted me to be there and that she was mad i might miss it, i started sobbing because i felt bad and because i was overwhelmed, i told her okay, id be there no matter what, she said okay. we hung up and then she called me back 10 mins later completely fine and we both apologized for the dramatics & everything was fine and i managed to write my 4 papers in time so i could go. (uni and exams were kicking both our asses & we both had a breakdown cause neither of us had slept in like 2 days at that point lmfao)

probably either stargazing and seeing sirius & regulus & that comet, or when i last saw liv in january - we got coffee and walked around a lake for like 3 hours and talked shit abt the bitchy people from high school. it was lovely.

jegulily yes! ive never read any jegulily but i wouldnt mind reading some at some point. again, james has two hands!!! plus i think their dynamic is so fun.

i actually dont watch a whole lot of romcoms so i had to look up which movies would be considered romcoms and from that search my favs that ive seen are: enchanted, easy A, mamma mia, & 10 things i hate about you!

i also dont watch a lot of horror movies but i was fucking OBSESSED with IT in 2017 like fully obsessed. my entire personality was from that goddamn movie.

qs for u!

piercings vs tattoos?

whats your fatal flaw?

if u were any emoji which would u be?

whats ur love language?

fav superhero?

fav fic of all time

fav disney/pixar movie?

whats ur preferred method of annotating books? (like do u add random commentary or do u add deep analysis & thoughts?

what do u think ur animagus would be?

fav aesthetic?

do u prefer to stay in to watch a movie or go to the theatres?

fav day of the week and why

whats your literary archetype? (fun lil quiz, i got the ruler)

thats all for now <3

-bee

bee my darling <333

(first apologies for replying late.I seem to have a knack with doing those kind of things. but now I'm on half-term break , exams are over, so I'm mostly a free bird !!!)

miss Taylor -

dancing with our hands tied - JEGULUS - 'I loved u in secret'. that's all. secret love is theirs , they own it . also also , this is so regulus's line - 'I loved you in spite of Deep fears that the world would divide us'. HIM HIM HIMMMM.

blank space - all the women - I simply couldn't choose between them and since this song is very very female rage to me , I'll say all of them. especially Marlene , because if she's one to sleep around , you just know she was shamed for it.

treacherous - WOLFSTAR - I just really feel the vibe of sirius being like 'I'll follow you home' and remus thinking that the love he feels for sirius is treacherous !!!

chatting ----->

nah imagine being under that statue and you see boxes of free kfc just hanging around . colonel the redeemer would be gods child fr.

everything in the us looks either cool or dangerous. SHE BROKE THE BFF CODE. yta divorce immediately. lu lives like five minutes away from me and it's to and fro from there like everyday. I see him all the time and I haven't even thought about the possibility that one day I might not see him everyday. like that's not happening. peace to u bee , u brave for not tearing the fuck up.

nah fr where are my hot and funny little bitches/bastards. like bro come here and kiss me on the mouth and take me out and we can get married in like an hour.

hosier is bae baeeee. (that's so fucking cool. and I think the coins should so smell like maple syrup. it's fucking unjust that they don't. sue Trudeau.)

Peter = judas and James = Jesus (and I so see ur point with the sirius looking like Jesus parallel. like James (if he was alive) would've so made some jokes about that.

TALKING ABOUT HARRY STYLES - please tell me you saw him at the brit awards yesterday. please. I was in fucking tears when I saw. like broooo he mentioned Zayn??? my boy Zayn ???? my directioner heart is healing for real. (and lewis Capaldi is probably the only person in the world who can among to get the band back together. he has the power.)

I get chased by them whenever I'm at the beach and they've stolen chips from my fish and chips before and it's so fucking annoying like genuinely I wish they'd go fuck themselves.

no genuinely someone should arrest that guy. fucking hate him. piss bag.

ahhhhh annotate it and then buy a new copy for your person and annotate with shit like 'made me think of u' and everything I would cry my fucking eyes out if someone gave me that.

nah bee a nun gonna fly in and drop kick u in the face (now laughing at this image)

it did not cure my hangover ! it made it worse !!! and the worst part was that lu was also hungover so he couldn't work his magic with his hangover potion. and he also emptied his insides out (he threw up) and I was his sick nurse and made him soup and everything. (he was so out of it it was funny as fuck)

canada is smarter than the use for sure (free healthcare and gun control for one.)

bee as a bee oh my god that's so cute (and those costumes aren't lame they're classics)

fr Harvard is so calling.

blowing things up is so so fun. I used ethanol in class recently (there was a big boom) and it was very funnn.

yes pink and green stay winning always >>>

ew not florida ewwwwww.

joey is just bae. I love him so so much. (his funeral fit stays banging.)

I'm just smarter than u bee , let's face it.

update on the banking thing - he said no. he just doesn't like powerful women.

tumblr is so bae , like vanilla extract is so funny to me now

freud would love to dissect that boy fr.

cutting your hair drunk ??? and not botching it ??? you are the chosen one. I bow down to your brilliance.

THE MOST JEGULUS SONG TO EVER JEGULUS. yes yes u must add it. can't believe it wasn't already there in the first place.

it is so perfect. such a vibe honestly. (Wendy's slaps hard. but it wasn't square so I feel betrayed.)

bad times with your best friend so that ten years in the future you can look back and laugh on how stupid and dumb you were.

ahhh no my family has always considered 13 bad luck. but I don't believe it so 13 stays winning <333

can't tell the difference fr (Irish ??? never knew that that's fucking weird (in a good way))

DRARRRRRRYYYYYY the angst is unmatched. unmatched I tell you.

jegulus fics are so so so good I eat them up like soup. and jily is just - perfect. I love them. I love it so so much.

no because those kind of movies are so weird. it annoys me so much. (but watching stuff with someone who's obsessed with the thing you're watching ??? like whatttt. it's so sweet. eg Lu's fucking obsessed with sports and shit and he knows I'm just not - so he always always explains shit to me like when to cheer which team we support and everything.)

I would feel so proud if it was me and I was allowed to use the fancy paints. like so so important and everything I would love it so so much.

I can imagine it now. sock falling in slow motion.

yes thank fuck for that.

get a life of their own frrrr. high time considering their lives are just about to end.

herm and harry are my darlings honestlyyy

yes yes romione is so cute and awesome but I don't personally like fics about them fr.

OH MY GOD A CONSTELLATION TOTE ???? honestly you're so fucking awesome it's fucking coooolllll.

WIRELESS HEADPHONES 5ever fr fr. could never deal with the wires when I'm doing stuff.

LOVVVVERRRRR. ( a 5 ??? that's awesome !!!)

mine's that kind of red or a classic bright red. love them classics and everything I love it <33

it really really really was. (we're all good but we have matching scars now ! hey - tattoos right there ???)

no I loved it so so much I love it so fucking much it's cool as fuck. prize present <33

I'm literally the best friend ever he should bow down to me and my excellence. (no but I just got him all his favourite things and bro got super emotional and everything. )

YES I FEEL SO UNZIPPED WHEN I READ THAT SHIT I FUCKING LOVE IT SOOTHES ME. those kind of confession quotes will always be so dear to me.

YES YES U GET IT. favourite poem ever <33

the air is super crisp and everything feels mega real up there. like I am hyper-aware of the fact that I exist.

yes yes a locket like that is so so cute. she will keep it close to her heart trust <333

YES TIGERS. GO TIGERS.

horror movies & romcoms have my whole heart. rom-coms come first , but horror movies are a close second. (and horror-coms are lovely too !!!)

jily and jegulus are amazing. top-tier always.

reviewing your q's -

god bless u and ur immune system. the chosen 1 fr.

fate fate fate. I believe in destiny and fate and I love it because I really truly believe that I could bump into someone and fall in love. like it could so so happen. It will happen. manifesting the fuck out of it.

friendship break ups make me so so sad. like damn you don't want me anymore???? sad as fuck. (glad you both are doing good now !!!!)

WHAT A FUCING MOOD. same though. I think it's something in the air when I'm getting ready for school. like I get ten times more slugger in the morning I'm getting up for school like I really curse the fuck out of everyone and their mothers.i do it so often.

Peter Parker always <33333. I love them so so so much.(tom and toby and ANDREWWWWW)

(yes yes that's what I meant !!!) I so so need to fucking read it I swear I'll do it. I'm going to do it as soon as I have time honest.

homer is iconic you're so right. keep them guessing always and forever for reals.

I fall in love every time I look in the mirror. no but if we're being honest - me neither. I feel like it's coming though. I love love and I want to be in love too. (meeting the best people and carrying the memory of them forever >>>)

NO HONESTLY. man wearing hat ???? funny as fuckkkk.

not being able to go places because you have exams is so so so fucking annoying. like exams can go to hell (she cried for u ??? that's so sad and honest and sweet honestly best friend GOALS.)

talking shit about bitchy people with your best friend >>>> especially because it's always the darnedest things too and the best friends we have would never expect it and it's always so funny to shock them.

I honestly don't really mind jegulily. I think it's fun , and I might read a couple fics here and there but they'll never be my OTP. I love them , but jegulus and jily stay winning alwayssss.

'I hate the way I don't hate u. not even a little bit , not even at all.' my heartttt. and also Cameron is amazing and needs to be appreciated more.

q's -

now I love piercings (want at least 3 in each ear) but tattoos because to me they can hold much more meaning than a piercing. like it would be amazing and they just .... do stuff piercings can't. piercings still slap though.

loyalty to the people I love. like I've said this before , but I'd absolutely go feral if anything untoward happened to the people I love. i would genuinely fuck the aggressor up. like I genuinely feel like I saw a ten foot tall hunky muscle guy slap lu once , and I was there , I'd get so mad I'm pretty sure my sheer anger would scare him the fuck away. but I'd do it even if they were wrong. like if he says the sky is purple in front of people he doesn't like , then the sky is mf purple until we get home then I ask him what the fuck is going on.

the raising a single eyebrow one. I'm always making that facial expression. (I used to hang out with some pretty sus people and the things they used to say ..... shiver.) and of course the love heart ( where is my pink love heart , apple ?????? where is it ????) simply because I am a hopeless romantic.

acts of service !!! I will always do something like that for someone I love. like you need the groceries ??? not a single word more I'm going rn. also also love love giving gifts. like I really think them out .

SPIDERMANNNN. I love all 3 of them so so much I love the fuck out of them they're my favourites always always.

oh my god I couldn't possibly. but I could. (for each ship I have 1 or 2)

drarry - mental , temptation on the warfront.

jegulus - absentmindedly making me want you

dramione - wait & hope , isolation

wolfstar - of memories and milk thievery , lessen my load

nottpott (harry x theo nott) - rendevouz receipts , lethal combination

btw lethal combination is by the same author as the one who wrote the atlas six !!!! I love it so so much !!1 (nottpott is a guilty pleasure ship)

7. my favourite Disney movie is tangled always always <33333 unmatched. Pixar - UP (I fucking love it. it made me cry so so hard, I love it so so much)

8.i do both. like I have clear post-its , and sometimes I jot my notes down there , other times I have annotated the fuck out of them on the pages. in my copy of Gatsby , I have the word 'gay' written next to a lot of the times nick talks about Gatsby (maybe I'm biased but he was so in love with Gatsby.)

9.i'd love to be a black cat. mostly because I hate how they're said to be bad luck. like they're so sweet and cute and I just love them always. they're amazing. (plus being lazy and thinking they're better than everyone ??? so me honestly.)

10. dark academia !!! I so so so wanna live like that like it's the dream I love it so much. everything about it. the outfits , the scene , the vibes , the feel , the feeling that if I fall in love with someone , it'd kill me to be without them. I just LOVE it.

11. cinemas !!!! I love cinemas so much the vibes , the popcorn , the snacks I've snuck in , the way people clap when famous actors come onto screen >>>>

12. friday !!! end of the week , game night , no alarm to wake upto the next day . Friday has it all always. very dear and near to me <333

13.the lover !!!! no one was surprised by this honestly. it's very literally me. I am very much an idealist always looking for love wherever I can find it !!!

q's for uuuu -

which 1d member is your fave ?

top 5 Taylor songs ?

top Shakespeare quote ?

fave Shakespeare play ?

fave modern family character ?

style vs ootw?

cruel summer vs dress ?

fave tay tay lyric ?

controversial opinion you have ?

famous person you hate (not an obvious one like Kanye or John Mayer we all hate them they don't count) ?

sickest burn you've ever given ?

sickest burn you've ever got ?

moment when you wanted to slap liv's face the fuck off ?

moment you've been horrendously jealous ?

(beee beee beee I love u tonnes. sorry I've been so bad with replying. I'm so going back to normal after this I pinky promise. come back soon <3333333 I missed u!!!)

[fortuositywritings]

I Said No (Wanda x R): Pt 6

Summary: You kissed Wanda. Where do you go from here? Camping. You go camping is where.

Challenge: Take a shot of preferred drink (water for you youngsters, stay hydrated) every time you read "s'mores".

Pt. 1, Pt. 2, Pt. 3, Pt. 4, Pt. 5

Wanda is beyond frustrated. It has been eight hours since you kissed her on the ferris wheel. Eight painful hours of rewinding the moment in her mind over and over again, wondering what it means because you haven’t said anything about it. You acted no different when you met back with everyone else. No different when Laura asked with a knowing smile how the view was from the top. No different on the car ride home nor when you said goodnight to her like you did to everyone else even if she had lingered behind a little longer in case you maybe wanted to say something while no one else was near.

It’s like it never even happened and now she’s wondering if she’s somehow messing with her own mind. 

No, it definitely happened. Maybe there’s a reason. Maybe you’ll explain. Maybe she needs to sleep. 

She can feel Nat stirring beside her, signaling her to close her eyes and feign sleep.

“I know you’re awake, Wanda. You’re going to have to do better than that,” Nat says. Wanda huffs. She should know better than try to pretend in front of the spy. “What’s wrong? You’ve been tossing and turning all night.”

Wanda doesn’t think Nat would like to hear the reason for her restlessness, but she also knows she can’t get away with lying, so she chooses to say, “I don’t think you would want to know.”

“Wanda,” Nat sighs, almost defeatedly, “I know I have my reservations about you and Y/N but I meant what I said. You are both adults who can make your own choices and if this is really something you both want then I’ll be here for you and her both. I know you might not believe this, but I’d much rather be here to help you prove me wrong than you two go and prove me right.”

Nat is lying on her back now staring at the ceiling waiting patiently for Wanda to say something. Wanda follows Nat’s lead and stares at the blank ceiling trying to get her thoughts in order. Wanda doesn’t like talking about her feelings. She’s one to figure things out on her own but if she doesn’t get answers soon, she is going to go insane. Nat knows Y/N well enough. Maybe she knows why Y/N acted so indifferent. So Wanda decides to trust Nat. “She kissed me.”

Wanda turns her head to see Nat’s expression. Nat’s face remains stoic. “Are you mad?” Wanda asks warily.

“No, but I am surprised,” Nat says with what Wanda could swear is amusement. “I didn’t think she had it in her to go against anything Clint or I say.”

Wanda smiles, “You don’t give her enough credit.”

“Maybe. I think I also give you too much credit. I thought it would be you to do it. You Maximoffs tend to be relentless until you get what you want.” Wanda chuckles acknowledging that sometimes she and her brother annoy the rest of the team until things go their way. “So she kissed you. What’s the problem?”

Wanda’s good mood comes back down as she falls back to reality. “I don’t know if there is a problem is the problem,” Wanda groans in frustration.

“You’ve lost me.”

Wanda can’t have this conversation lying down so she sits up. Nat does the same, giving Wanda her full attention. “It’s just, it’s so push and pull with her. She flirts and I flirt back. Then she says she can’t so I let it go, but later she pulls me in again but then reminds me we can only be friends only to kiss me at the fair. And now she’s acting like it didn’t even happen and it’s all so frustrating,” Wanda vents.

Nat takes a moment to process everything. “You have to keep in mind that Y/N doesn’t do the whole relationship thing. She tried it once and well it didn’t work out. Now when things get serious, she likes to ignore them or as I’m sure you’ve noticed she likes to joke her way out. So if you want to work this out, you’ll have to find a way to talk to her without her freaking out,” Nat advises. 

The mention of a past relationship piques Wanda’s interest. “Y/N’s been in a relationship before? She’s never mentioned it.”

Nat smirks shaking her head, “Of course out of everything I said, that’s what you got. Tell me, have you told her about the robot boyfriend you had not too long ago?” Wanda looks down at the bedsheets in embarrassment. Nat wants to laugh but decides to give Wanda a break. “Look, if you really want to know you can ask Y/N later, okay? Now get some rest. You shouldn’t let guy, girl, or robot problems keep you from sleeping,” she finishes chuckling and gets up from the bed. 

“Where are you off to?” Wanda still goes to lie down but looks up at Nat with tired eyes.

“Going to go for a hike with your girl,” Nat teases as she grabs her clothes and clothes for you.

“She’s not my girl,” Wanda says, tucking her head into her pillow to hide her blush but Nat still caught it. She also catches when Wanda mumbles, “yet.”

“And there’s that bratty Maximoff attitude. I see you’re feeling better now,” Nat laughs and leaves the room without giving Wanda the time to respond, not that Wanda was planning to because Nat was right. Wanda was feeling better now having talked it out with someone. She’ll do as Natasha said and ask you later. With that she closes her eyes and tries to get some sleep.

You didn’t fare too well last either, much like Wanda. You were trying so hard not to think about your kiss with Wanda, but it’s all you could think about. You don’t know what possessed you to do it, but you know you should not have done it. You should not have done it because now all you can think about is doing it again, about doing it again and letting her kiss you back. You shouldn’t have kissed her because you don’t want to get anyone’s hopes up, including yourself. It’s happened to you once before and you’re scared because it is happening to you again. 

So, you tried to play it cool. If you act like it was a friendly kiss that didn’t really mean anything, then Wanda will take the hint and when she inevitably goes, so will your feelings. No harm done. Friends kiss sometimes, right? At least that’s what you’ve been trying to convince yourself all night until you fell asleep.

You awaken from your two hours of Wanda-filled dreams by gym clothes smacking your face. You groan, “No, please. Not today, Nat. I barely got any sleep last night.”

“Oh, not you too,” she comments, rolling her eyes at you. You lift your head at that to look at her confused by what she meant. “Come on, some exercise will take your mind off whatever kept you up,” she continues with a knowing smile as she takes a sip of her coffee.  You narrow your eyes at her but eventually give in. Maybe she’s right and it will help you take your mind off of Wanda for even a moment. 

You still need the energy though, so you steal her coffee as you pass by her with your clothes in hand.

The one time you actually hoped Nat would be right, she wasn’t. You’re an hour into your hike and your brain has no vacancy for anything other than Wanda. You want to scream. Instead you push yourself harder. Another hour goes by and your head is still spinning, except this time it might also be because of the lack of oxygen reaching your brain. You go to lay on the dirty ground and attempt to catch your breath. Nat stops, not hearing your footsteps behind her. 

She looks at you a little worried. You are heaving and you are sweaty and you are frustrated and it’s official; a pretty girl named Wanda Maximoff broke you. You start chuckling and soon a full resounding laugh comes out of you like you heard the funniest joke. Nat goes to sit by you warily but doesn’t say anything.

Your laughter dies, replaced by a solemn attitude. You sit up, your shoulder touching Nat’s. She still doesn’t say anything and you’re thankful for that. Without looking at her, you tell her earnestly, “I really like her.”

“Yeah, I know,” she sighs.

“She told you,” you say, no surprise in your voice. You were clued in this morning with Nat’s knowing smile. Nat hums in confirmation. “I know you and Clint warned me, but-”

“But we were wrong,” Nat cuts you off. That has you looking at her, your eyebrows raised in shock. You never thought you’d hear her admit being wrong so blatantly. She laughs, “Don’t get used to hearing that. Seriously though, you don’t need someone telling you what you can or cannot do. It wasn’t right for us to try. So, I’ll tell you what I told Wanda, whatever happens, I’ll be here if you need me.”

“Aww, look who’s taking accountability. Little Romanov is all grown up!” you joke. She rolls her eyes and nudges you saying, “I guess serious talk is over.”

She knows you too well. You smile anyway in appreciation. You both get up and start making your way back to the car. You feel lighter after that conversation. On your walk back, you begin to think, maybe you can give it a shot with Wanda now that it seems Nat and Clint are giving into the idea of you two together. You smile at the thought of you and Wanda together. You can make it work, you think. That is if you can allow trust in yourself to not hurt her and trust her not to do the same. But you have time to work on that. 

When you reach the car, a daunting thought stops you. You don’t have time. “She’s leaving soon.”

Nat opening the car door simply says, “Yeah, guess you have to decide what you want to do quickly.” 

“I’ve decided,” Clint says to everyone at breakfast. When you and Nat had gotten to the house, almost everyone was still asleep. You and Nat only saw Sam and Laura up in the kitchen. You’d guessed the fair wore everyone out yesterday. You and Nat helped Sam and Laura make breakfast. Well, Nat helped. You had been told to sit at the table and let the adults do the cooking. How were you meant to learn if they didn’t let you? At least Wanda had let you help.

Wanda, as if summoned by your thoughts, had appeared then. You saw her hesitate walking into the kitchen. You knew you messed up by ignoring what happened between the two of you. You gave her a smile and patted the seat next to you hoping to alleviate the tension. Luckily for you it seemed to do the trick. You two were back to your usual selves though you both knew you would have to talk about what happened at some point.

Everyone came downstairs one by one and when breakfast was ready, you all headed into the dining room to eat together. Everyone was having their own side conversations but they all hushed down when Clint spoke up saying he decided something.

“And what did you decide?” Laura asks him. You try hard not to laugh, recognizing the same tone she gave you two days ago when you told everyone you were going to the fair. Wanda sees you try to hide your amusement and pinches your side to get you to stop. Being ticklish, you nearly squeal but hold it in. By the way Wanda’s eyes spark up, you know she noticed. You give her a warning stare and mouth “no”.

“My sweet, beautiful wife,” Clint begins sweet talking your cousin, but you’re not paying too much attention as Wanda is trying to tickle your side discreetly with one hand and you are trying hard to keep it away. Across the table, Pietro is not paying attention to Clint either, instead watching you and Wanda interact. He feels so dumb for not noticing it before, but seeing you bring out the playfulness in Wanda, which he hadn’t seen in the longest time, you could make him feel like the dullest bulb in the box and he wouldn’t complain. All three of your attention is brought back to the subject at hand when Clint says, “I’ve decided we’re going camping today!”

The kids, Peter, Sam, and you let out a cheer. You squeeze Wanda’s hand that you managed to catch in yours. You don’t feel any excitement coming from her so you turn to her. She looks discontent at the thought of camping. “Oh, come on. Don’t say you don’t like camping.”

“Pietro and I have not gone camping but the thought of bugs and sleeping on the ground does not sound appealing,” she says tentatively.

“Thank you. She gets it,” your cousin says and Nat nods her head in agreement.

“Don’t listen to the two buzzkills. They never want to do anything.” You ignore the scoff and “excuse me” they give you to instead try to convince Wanda. “I promise it’s going to be fun,” you look into her eyes, practically pleading with her. She huffs, closes her eyes, and says, “Fine.”

“Yes! What about you Pietro?” you ask her brother though you already know where one twin goes the other follows. “Yeah, let’s see what camping is about. Maybe we can share a tent,” Pietro flirts throwing a wink your way, mostly teasing to see his sister’s reaction. You ignore his last comment and start chanting “Camping! Camping!” until Peter, Cooper, and Lila chant along. You don’t notice the glare Wanda throws her brother or said brother trying to hide his smirk.

You take two cars like you had yesterday. This time you ride with Nat, Sam, Wanda, and Peter. Cooper and Lila refused to let Pietro ride in Nat’s car, wanting him to ride with them. Nat is driving with Sam sitting in the passenger seat after having called shotgun. You sat in the middle between Peter and Wanda, having offered her the window seat. The ride to the lake where you usually went camping isn’t long, only about an hour and a half away, but you find yourself falling asleep twenty minutes in when Wanda rests her head on your shoulder to take a nap. 

You and Wanda wake to the car door slamming shut. You both look out the window and see you’ve arrived and it had been Nat who stepped out of the car. From the car, you can see her stretch and take in the view with a disgruntled face. 

“Well someone’s excited,” Sam said sarcastically, having noticed Nat’s attitude toward this trip also. All of you in the car watch her as she sprays a ton of bug repellant on herself while grumbling, “Stupid Clint. I should be relaxing somewhere with AC. But nooo, Mr. ‘I’ve decided we’re going camping’ and Ms. ‘I promise it’s gonna be fun’ want to go camping. Fun my ass.”

You can’t help but laugh when she mocks you and Clint, and everyone in the car joins in. Nat turns to glare at all of you through the windows. “Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up. Just don’t come crying to me when you can’t stop scratching your legs tomorrow. Now chop chop. We’ve got things to bring out.” 

She leaves to help Laura out of the family car that just pulled up beside Nat’s own. She’s always so grumpy when you go camping. At the thought, a joke pops in your head that you can’t help but repeat out loud, “Yeah, she’s never really been a happy camper.”

“Did you just? Nice one!” Peter gives you a high five. Wanda and Sam shake their heads at you but you can see Wanda trying not to smile. Sam catches it and throws his head back groaning, “Bad puns? Really? I gotta start writing things down.” He pulls out his phone and goes to his notes to start a list. “Okay, confident but geeky, talk about Star Wars, bad jokes. Am I missing anything, Wanda?”

You and Peter look at her confused. You are especially intrigued to know what Wanda has to do with whatever the hell Sam is talking about when she flushes and kicks his seat. “We should go help now,” she says, opening the door and hurrying out. You follow behind asking, “What’s he talking about, Wanda?” 

She ignores you. Peter reaches you and says, “I thought it was a good joke.”

Everyone helps out setting the tents, Clint wanting to get that out of the way first. No matter how much of a downer Nat can be on camping trips, you’re always glad she’s there or no tent would stand a chance holding upright. There are three sturdy tents set up a little ways away from the dock by the time you finish. Peter, the kids, the twins, and you run over to the dock in excitement, you pulling Wanda along with you. None of you are in the proper attire to jump in as Laura points out. “Hey, go put on your swim suits if you want to get in!” she shouts from where the rest are setting up everything for grilling.

You all turn back around to put on your swimwear. Best not to anger the pregnant lady. Before you can take a step forward, you feel like someone sweeps you up in their arms but it happens too fast to be sure and suddenly you are falling into the water. Everyone turns back around at the sound of you hitting the water. When your head springs from the water, you look for the culprit and see him smiling at you next to Sam. You do the only thing you can think of as revenge. You pretend to drown. “Help! I can’t-” you spit water everywhere waving your arms hysterically. You can hear footsteps running on the dock but ignore them to see Pietro’s reaction. His eyes widen and in a blink he is gone. 

You hear a splash. Correction, you hear three different splashes. You knew one had to be Pietro and you’re right. He pulls you into him with one arm, saying, “I got you. I got you.” 

You turn in his arm and say, “No, I got you.” He looks confused and you take the opportunity to wriggle loose and dunk his head in the water. The second and third splashes had come from Peter and Wanda, you note, when you hear them behind you say, “Y/N!” and “Are you okay?” You can’t answer because the sight of Pietro coming back up spluttering has you cracking up. 

“I thought you couldn’t swim,” Peter says. This time you do answer, “I told you guys, I was learning on the job.”

Peter starts laughing then, swimming towards Pietro, who took it easy laughing as well. “She got you so good. You should have seen your face,” Peter chuckles. You grin, but that smile falls when you look at Wanda and find her glaring at you.The joy on your face morphs into confusion. You ask, “What’s wrong?”

“That wasn’t funny, Y/N.” She leaves you there with your mouth agape and heads to the shore without another word, swimming past Peter and Pietro who are basically water fighting. You float there for a second wondering what just happened. You don’t know what to do but you think you have to fix it somehow. 

You swim after her. Pietro and Peter stop splashing water at each other, turning their bodies to look at you as you pass by them now able to touch the ground with your feet. Pietro teases, “Oooh, someone’s sleeping on the couch tonight.” 

You wanted to point out that you have been sleeping on the couch the whole week and that technically you’ll be sleeping in a tent tonight. Instead you splash some water at him behind you and try to walk faster against the water to catch Wanda. When you are close enough, you reach out and pull on her wrist to get her to stop walking. You walk around her to stand face to face. She pulls her arm free from your hold and crosses her arms in front of her body looking everywhere but at you. You see her clenching her jaw in irritation and if you’re honest with yourself, you find this angry Wanda pretty attractive, but you remember she’s mad at you and you focus on the matter at hand.

Unbeknownst to you both, everyone’s watching. “Oh, she’s mad mad. Let’s see Y/N try to joke her way out of this one,” Sam says chuckling. Clint and Nat turn to him, Nat smirking and Clint chuckling. Laura is preoccupied putting sunscreen on the kids to be aware of what is going on.

“Oh, come on. Sure, Y/N is smooth but I know Wanda, and that girl is stubborn as hell,” Sam says confidently, remembering the time Wanda had not spoken to her brother for three days because he went to a party with some of the guys forgetting he was supposed to go to the movies with her. 

“Want to bet?” Clint says. 

“20, easy.” Sam shakes Clint’s hand. Off in the water, Peter and Pietro are having a similar conversation. Peter asks if Wanda is actually mad. Peter doesn’t live on the compound and has not had much interaction with Wanda, so it makes sense to Pietro why he would ask. Pietro laughs, “Oh, yes. One time I forgot to go to the movies with her and she did not speak with me for days. She has the same face now.”

You don’t really have a plan here, so you start the way you always do, using humor. “Wanda, are you actually mad? Am I in hot … water?” you flick some water for effect. She doesn’t find it amusing. She scoffs at you, but at least she’s looking at you now. “The water’s cold and jokes won’t get you out of this one.”

“We’ll just have to sea about that,” you try again. You didn’t think she could look more peeved, but look at you making the impossible happen. She says, “It’s a lake,” unamused, and she moves to go around you. So humor is a no go in this situation.

“What did I tell you,” Sam boasts, seeing Wanda look more irritated. “Easiest 20 dollars, I made.”

“Just wait,” Clint says. Laura goes to sit beside him and asks, “What’s happening?”

“Wanda is mad at Y/N. Sam bet Clint 20 dollars that Wanda will stay mad at her,” Nat explains. Suddenly, Sam doesn’t feel so confident when Laura shakes her head at him like he just got played and says, “Oh, Sam.”

“Okay, wait, wait, wait.” You step to the side making sure Wanda doesn’t leave. “I’m sorry. It was just a dumb way to get back at Pietro. I didn’t mean to upset you or freak you out,” you say, pulling her arms apart from where they are still crossed. “The last thing I want to do is make you mad or sad or any of the -ad’s.” You see her tense shoulders loosen up so you add, “You already know how I feel about Brads.”

You know you made the right choice when you hear her giggle at your last comment. You smile and tug on her arm. “So are we good? Or do I have to pull out the famous puppy dog eyes?” you jest and she gives you a real laugh when you actually go for the puppy dog eyes along with a pout. She shoves you playfully and you nearly stumble backwards but you hold onto her arms and pull yourself forward. In consequence you end up closer to each other and Wanda takes the opportunity to pull you into a hug. 

“Just don’t do it again,” Wanda says. You wrap your arms around her waist, welcoming in her hug. “Wouldn’t dream of it. Now let’s go swimming,” you say quickly. She barely catches what you say before you pick her up and take off back in Peter and Pietro’s direction, Wanda laughing the whole way.

“What the hell was that?” Sam refuses to believe what he just saw. 

“Easiest 20 dollars I ever made,” Clint chuckles.

“No, see she’s gotta have some kind of persuasion powers or something. Why isn’t that girl on the team? We could just give her a microphone before we go fight and have her convince the bad dudes to turn themselves in,” Sam says as he reluctantly takes out a twenty dollar bill and gives it to Clint.

Pietro is very much on the same boat as Sam. He decides he needs to learn your secrets. Peter says, “Maybe the movie she wanted to watch was really good?”

You have your fun in the water, especially when the kids and Sam join you deciding they want to play chicken fight. Cooper goes against Lila and despite her being younger and smaller, she manages to push Cooper off Sam’s shoulder. Pietro holds Sam up as he goes against Peter. Sam cheers when Peter falls backwards into the water. Most would be surprised by the win but it was mostly your fault, not having a good stance when trying to hold Peter on your shoulders. 

You go to fight against Wanda next; she takes Sam’s place on Pietro’s shoulders and you sit on Sam’s shoulders. Cooper and Lila count down and when they yell go, you and Wanda are pushing each other’s shoulders. Wanda removes a hand from your shoulder and reaches for your stomach, but you catch her arm quickly. “Not today. You’re going down, Maximoff!”

“Yeah, we’ll see about that-” Wanda begins but doesn’t finish. You can feel her grip loosen on your shoulder when she gives you a look of befuddlement. “Actually, I don’t know your last name.” You smirk, taking this as your opportunity, and say, “Good. Now you can see how I felt.” Then you push her shoulder and she loses her balance. You can smell the victory, but the smell wafts away when you see what looks like a red mist coming from her and hurling towards you. You are practically flung from Sam’s shoulder into the water. 

You resurface, spluttering water. You look around for the person of interest and head towards her when she gets up beside Pietro. “You cheated!” you yell. You’re not actually mad but you are a sore loser. She sees you coming toward her and Wanda can’t help but laugh at how silly you look trying to stomp over to her intimidatingly when you are moving so slowly against the water. “I thought you and I had agreed on no powers.”

“No, you said no more mind reading,” she corrects you with a pleased smile on her face. 

“Well new rule, no powers in general and wipe that grin off your face, no one likes a smart-ass,” you huff. She replies whilst giving your cheek a poke, “Then wipe that pout off your face. No one likes a sore loser.” You shake your head to get her finger off your face, making her laugh again.

Pietro challenges Wanda next and before either of them have a chance to decide who will be carrying them, you dive under Wanda and between her legs, making her yelp in surprise as you lift her up on your shoulders. You hold on tight to her thighs and then reach for her arms to keep her steady. She giggles when she looks down not able to see you behind all the hair in your face. She helps you out and pulls your hair back out of your face. You look up at her, who keeps her hands on your head, and smile in thanks.

You look at Wanda’s opponent. Pietro, who is situated on Sam’s shoulders, is already looking at you like he’s thinking something over. Then he looks above you at Wanda and challenges, “If I win, you have to tell me what Y/N said to not make you angry anymore.”

Sam under him adds, “Yeah, I wanna know why I lost 20 dollars!” You give him a look of bewilderment. Wanda thinks it over and decides, “Okay, but if I win, Sam has to stop trying to be geeky like Y/N and Peter.” You pinch her thigh and Peter shouts “Hey!” at being called geeky. She ignores the two of you, continuing, “And you have to stop flirting with Y/N.”

“Why? Are you jealous, Wanda?” her brother baits her. Your ears perk up awaiting her response.

“No, you’re just annoying,” Wanda says trying to sound nonchalant, but Pietro knows her well. He continues badgering, “Well, what if Y/N likes it?” 

You decide to partake in his teasing her and add, “Yeah, Wanda. What if I like it?” You look up at her with a cheeky smile and find her already looking down at you with an eyebrow raised and her tongue poking at her cheek, a look you feel says “you don’t want to test me”. Gut feelings shouldn’t be ignored, you think, so you look back to Pietro, “Sorry, I guess I don’t like it.” You follow with a dramatic whisper, “Totally jealous.” She tugs your hair in retaliation for your comment.

“So, is it a deal or not, ‘cause my shoulders are starting to hurt,” Sam says. The twins agree and you are thankful Sam got the ball rolling because you didn’t know how much longer you could hold up Wanda. Peter counts down this time. It’s over in less than 3 seconds. It seems Wanda likes to cheat. Everyone sees the red mist fading after Pietro falls into the water. 

“That’s not fair. You used your powers. That’s cheating,” Pietro says when he comes back up and Sam nodding in agreement while Wanda defends herself saying they never said they couldn’t use powers. You tell Wanda to take a breath and close her nose and then fall backwards to get her off your shoulders. Another few minutes of swimming pass by before Clint yells for all of you to get out and go eat. You all head to the little cabin that has the restrooms and showers. Laura meets you there with towels. Those of you that jumped in the lake enter the showers with clothes and all to wash away the lake water and then head outside to rinse off. 

Clint watches you hand your towel to Wanda for her to dry off first. You say something that makes Wanda let out a resonant laugh and in turn makes you smile vibrantly. He’s only ever seen you look at someone like that once. He grimaces at how that turned out. And Wanda he’s actually never seen act like this, so jubilant and lively, playfully rolling her eyes and pushing you away after you make a stupid joke. It brings a smile to his face despite the voice in the back of his head saying this can’t end well.

As everyone eats, they unintentionally group off to have different conversations. Clint, Sam, and Peter stand by the mini grill, Laura and Nat sit in some camping chairs complaining about the bugs, the kids are drawing things on the ground with a stick they found, and you, Wanda, and Pietro are sitting on other camping chairs.

Pietro and Wanda tell you stories of when they were children, both their eyes seem to almost glaze over as they reminisce on fond memories. Though their storytelling styles differ, Pietro with his animated gestures and Wanda with her attention for detail, they both have you captivated. You offer them a few stories of your own childhood, including the ones you found embarrassing like the three different times you called one teacher “mom” and the time you walked straight into a pole talking to your crush in middle school.

“So you weren’t always so smooth as I hear you are,” Wanda comments through her laughter.

“Nope, this awesome personality took years in the making,” you joke, making Wanda shake her head at you. Pietro comments, “Yeah, not everyone can be born with it like I was.”

Wanda laughs at this, which offends Pietro and soon the twins are bickering much to your amusement. Wanda recounts times Pietro was very much not so smooth with the ladies including things he’s done that caused certain girlfriends to leave him, Pietro obviously having excuses as to why something happened. He fires his shot at her when he tells her she can’t begin to talk about relationships when she’s only had one and it was 3D printed. 

You tune them out after this due to shock and confusion. You’re shocked that Wanda’s only ever dated one person. You never really thought to ask about her exes because you thought it might bring up some bad memories knowing she had just gone through a breakup not so long ago. So you also find it shocking that she was so brazenly forward about wanting to try something with you if she doesn’t date like her brother does-like you do which you don’t even consider dating. You kind of want to smile thinking about it. You just know that she has people left and right who would kill for a chance to be with her, but she likes you. You are trying hard not to let it go to your head but can already feel your ego growing in size. The confusion comes from the 3D printed comment. You’ll have to ask about that later.

“-ask Y/N.” You bring your attention back to the conversation when hearing your name.

“She doesn’t do relationships. She’s too busy playing the game and winning,” Sam chuckles standing between the twins’ chairs. You hadn’t even noticed when he joined you three. You don’t know where they were in the conversation and don’t want to explain what you were thinking about if you ask them to repeat the question because you were distracted, so you decide to go along with Sam. You fake a laugh and say, “Yeah, tried it once and it wasn’t for me.”

“You? In a relationship?” You nod at both of Pietro’s questions. “With who?”

“Her name’s Skye and no, she doesn’t live here so don’t try going around town asking about her. I may not have known you for long, but I can just tell you’re both nosy.” You point at Pietro and Sam.

“Then don’t leave us wondering. What happened?” Sam asks. From the look in his eye, you know he won’t let it go. You don’t feel like recounting the details of how you were falling for someone who left you saying they couldn’t do relationships because they were distracting her from trying to do something important. It was a blow to the gut then; you’re sure your face would show it. You don’t want to be a drag. 

“Nothing exciting. She told me relationships weren’t for her at the time,” you say nonchalantly,  shrugging your shoulders like it doesn’t still hurt to think about.

“So you decided relationships weren’t for you,” Wanda speaks up, her stare hard on your profile like she’s trying to figure you out. You think she reads you too well already, there can’t be anything you hide that she won’t find.

“If you can’t beat them, join them,” you say, trying to look unfazed by it all. It seems to work because the guys move on, Sam joking saying that was the reason you partnered with Wanda after you lost the chicken fight. Wanda, however, is still staring at you, trying to decipher your words. You try not to focus on that. The guys laugh when you say that technically you won because Wanda cheated using her powers.

“So it is cheating! If you say you won, that means Sam and I won, so Sam can try to be geeky and I can flirt with you and you have to tell us how Wanda’s mood changed so fast,” Pietro says matter-of-factly. Now this gets Wanda to quit staring at you. Instead she turns her head to Pietro to give him a glare when he mentions flirting with you. You don’t know too much about Wanda’s powers but you would not be surprised if one was killing someone with a look; Pietro would be pulverized from being on the receiving end of her glare and you from how attractive you found it. 

But now is not the time. As much as it hurts your ego that has now flown through the roof, you reach your foot over to loop your ankle around Wanda and say to Pietro, “Okay, then I didn’t win. It was a draw.” Wanda turns her attention back over to you when she feels your ankle against hers.

“Oh, come on! Just tell us how you did it,” Sam says. 

“Guess she just likes me more than you two,” you offer with a cheeky smile. You miss Wanda blushing when Sam says, “That’s for sure.” You didn’t even catch that because the smell of marshmallows roasting called you. You look over Sam’s shoulder and see Clint helping Cooper and Lila make a s’more. You notice Peter talking to Nat and Laura sitting around a small makeshift fire pit starting to poke marshmallows on the ends of some steel sticks Clint must have bought. “Um, what the hell, guys? Was no one going to call us for s’mores?” you yell more so towards your cousin. 

Everyone turns to look at you but your group who look over to see the reason you were yelling. Your cousin gives you a well-job-done look when Lila says, “Ooo, Y/N said a bad word.” As your group heads over to the rest, you give your cousin your don’t-worry-I’ll-fix-it look you’ve given her countless times and tell Lila, “Yes, I did but you can’t. Not until you’re ten.”

“Y/N!” Both Clint and Laura yell while Nat actually tries to fix it and says, “Y/N was just being funny. Don’t listen to her.”

“But you say Y/N is never funny,” Cooper chimes in. Everyone stifles a laugh when you scoff. “That’s because your Aunt Nat wouldn’t know a joke if it bit her in the ass,” you say the last part directly looking at her. You hear Clint say something like “not this again” while most are saying “oooh” including the kids but they say it to point out you said another bad word.

“I don’t know about that one. Why don’t you bite mine and I’ll tell you?” Nat comes back at you and so do the oohs from everyone and a bonus “burn” from Sam. You reply, “No, thank you. Wouldn’t want to accidentally bite into the stick stuck up there.”

“DAMN!” Sam says and before Nat could respond from what you’re sure would be what ends you tonight, your cousin cuts in. “Enough! I thought I would be raising 3 children. I didn’t sign up for 5. Lila, don’t listen to Y/N about the bad words and if she and Aunt Nat keep arguing,” your cousin threatens, “neither will be having s’mores.”

Both your and Nat’s eyes go wide at that. One thing you and she will never argue about is how s’mores are one of the greatest contributions the US has given the world in terms of culinary delicacies. 

“That got them quiet very fast. How good can s’mores be?” Pietro asks. You and Nat gasp so dramatically one would think Pietro insulted your mothers. “You’ve never had a s’more?” you ask both him and Wanda who shake their heads.

“Why was I never made aware of this?” Nat reprimands them as if it’s the twins’ fault they’ve never had s’mores. “Someone get these two a stick and some marshmallows ASAP,” Nat snaps, and you fetch four sticks and the bag of marshmallows, handing Nat, Pietro, and Wanda a stick each. 

“Prepare to have your mind blown,” you say dramatically. Wanda finds your passion for s’mores adorable. She gives you a smile in thanks when you stick two marshmallows at the end of her stick. Pietro is excited to try s’mores after you and Nat having raved about them; he can’t help but wiggle the stick back and forth while you are trying to put some marshmallows on it. You and Nat are helping the twins make their first s’mores when Wanda asks, “Why don’t Lila and Cooper call you Aunt Y/N?” 

“Because children recognize children,” Nat jests, but your cousin says her name as a warning anyway in case you two started up again. You call over Lila and Cooper for them to answer the question for you. Together they recite verbatim what you had told them to say when someone asked. “Aunt is for when you are old, boring, or married and Y/N is young, cool, and single.” You mouth along and give them a proud smile after.

“Exactly! Thank you, critters.” You give each a high five and they run back to their dad. Wanda looks impressed as do the rest. Nat, on the other hand, looks ready to argue again. “Excuse me, so which of the three am I, huh?”

“Well, you’re not married yet, so you take your pick between the other two choices.” Your eyes shimmer in merriment when she says nothing, opting to glare at you. Sam laughs and asks, “How long did it take them to remember that?”

“A whole summer two years ago. I told them I’d buy 4 pints of ice cream to whoever memorizes it first,” you explain. Everyone enjoys their s’mores, Pietro eating too many for his own good, as the sun disappears below the horizon. It’s not too long before Nat starts complaining about the bugs again. She’s cut off by her phone ringing. She stands off to the side to take the call. You joke around with Wanda saying it’s Bruce calling and you play out the conversation you think they’re having. Wanda laughs at your terrible attempt to mimic Nat and Bruce’s voices.

Nat comes back with news. “So, Rodgers can’t pick us up this weekend. He was called on a mission and had to take the jet, but Tony arranged for two agents named Bobby and Daisy to pick us up in 5 days.”

“You’re staying longer?” Lila asks and when Nat nods, she runs to hug Pietro cheering. You and Wanda look at each other after the news, both trying to see the other’s reaction. You give each other a shy smile. Wanda is happy to have more time with you. She was not ready to leave so soon not knowing when she would be able to see you next. You didn’t really know how you felt. You’re suddenly aware of your heart pounding aggressively against your chest. You were dreading your time with Wanda coming to a close but you were also somewhat prepared to hang on until the weekend without messing anything up. Hearing she’s staying for longer is a relief but you are not sure how long you can go without breaking and kissing her again, getting both your hopes up only for it to all come crashing down when she inevitably leaves. 

Nat interrupts your internal turmoil by ways of complaining again about the bugs. “Okay, this is not gonna happen. Clint, let me see your keys.” Clint tosses her his car keys. She pulls the house key from the key ring and tosses the car keys back to Clint. “Cool, see you all at the house tomorrow. Whoever wants to sleep on an actual bed and not in this AC-less mosquito infested site, you are welcome to tag along.”

Laura stands up way too quickly for someone who is pregnant and says she’s going with Nat. Lila tags along, apparently not wanting to sleep here without her mom. “What a baby,” you say shaking your head as you watch Nat’s car’s lights disappear. 

“Well at least now you’ll have more privacy in the tent,” Sam says, smirking at you and Wanda pointing out that you’ll be alone with Wanda in the tent, which you hadn’t put together until this moment. If your heart wasn’t beating like a drum before, it sure is trying to beat out of your chest now. You gulp at his insinuation. Maybe it isn’t too late to run after the car. 

“Ew, I don’t want to hear anything,” Pietro says, Sam and surprisingly Clint agreeing by nodding their heads. Wanda rolls her eyes at him and Peter on the hand is blushing, trying not to look at you or Wanda like he’s already seen something. You’re suddenly aware that all of them are heading to their tents. The fire had been put out and all the leftover food had been put away sometime while you were watching Nat’s group drive away. Pietro and Peter share one tent and Sam, Clint, and Cooper another. 

Wanda stands and looks down at you expectantly. You see she’s holding the lantern Lila always uses cause it’s in her favorite color of blue. “Do you plan to sleep outside?”

You roll your eyes and stand up to follow Wanda into your tent. There are three sleeping bags rolled out in front of you. “Guess we won’t be needing one of those,” Wanda comments behind you. The comment itself should make you nervous but what actually does it is the sound of her zipping the entrance closed. You gulp and can only let out a simple, “Mhm.”

If that alone had you acting this way, you didn’t want to find out what actually looking her way would do to you, so you quickly move, back hunching, to the back pack you brought. You kneel to comfortably search it. You gave her a better answer, clearing your throat. “Actually, Nat was right about the hard ground. You could use it as a double layer.”

“Or we could share it?” Wanda suggests. You stop digging in the bag as your breath catches. You reply, your voice an octave higher, “No, that-that’s okay.” You clear your throat when you notice your pitch and hope Wanda hadn’t. “I’m used to it, but I wouldn’t want to give you a bad impression of camping.” Wanda had. You are back to searching your bag for the sweats you had brought to sleep in.

Wanda notices you seem a little tense, having dug around that bag for awhile. She walks up to you and places a hand on your shoulder. Your body stiffens like a board under her hand. She has to ask, “Are you nervous?”

“Nervous? Pft, why would I be nervous?” You finally find your damn sweats. “I’ve done this a million times.” You are quick to change the subject when the only clothes apart from Nat’s you find beside your sweats are some pyjama shorts and a tank top. “Is this all you brought to sleep in?”

“I didn’t think we were going to be camping when I packed,” Wanda replies to your inquiry but she still has questions of her own she’d like answered. For example, why are you so nervous and what did the kiss yesterday mean for you two. “Y/N, we need to talk.”

“Luckily, Nat left her stuff so you can wear her clothes. Here.” You hand Wanda Nat’s sleepwear. She can obviously tell you were avoiding the conversation. “You can change. I’ll face the other way.” You turn around and change into your sweats. You would have to leave your top on not having planned for it to have gotten wet. You try not to let the sound of Wanda’s quick intake of breath make you blush knowing you didn’t give her any warning. You try really hard not to guess what Wanda is doing based on the sounds you’re hearing when you think she begins changing but your mind tends to wander especially when it comes to the girl behind you. 

“I don’t see why you have to turn around. I’m sure you’ve seen plenty of women undress.” The sound of clothes falling to the ground makes you gulp. You are never so nervous and it’s killing you. You try your hardest to find something funny to say but come up empty. Wanda is still waiting on a response, so you say facing a tent wall, “None of those women are you.”

Your words spark something in each of your heads- a decision. You decide to take a chance with Wanda because you do believe it in your heart. Wanda is not like any of the other women including Skye. Even though she has to leave in five days, you can make it work. Wanda, however, is reminded of how she isn’t like other women. She is reminded of what Nat had said before. She decides maybe Vision was right.

As much as you wish you could avoid a serious talk, you know you owe it to her. They do say the secret to a good relationship is open communication. The term relationship usually makes you want to run for the hills but when you think of it tied to Wanda, a flutter tickles your stomach. It’s a feeling you never thought you would welcome again and you have to suppress a smile.

“Okay, you can turn around now,” Wanda says. She notices you hiding a smile and she’s wondering what brought it on. Wanda watches you move Nat’s sleeping bag under the one meant for her and then settle into your own. Your kind consideration makes her smile weakly, thinking of all the things she’ll miss such as you opening doors for her or letting her have your blanket and remain sitting still for the sake of her comfort. You stare up at Wanda who you see is lost in thought but staring in your direction and finally manage to act like yourself. “I’m sure the view is nice from there, but I can assure you I look good from all angles,” you joke and pat her sleeping bag beside you. 

The sound of your hand patting her sleeping bag brings her out of her head and when she processes what you said, she rolls her eyes at you. She grabs the lantern, setting it a little aways from both of you once she gets into her sleeping bag. Both of you turn onto your sides placing your hands under your heads to face one another. You stare at each other for a while before a question pops up in your head. You ask, “What did Pietro mean by 3D printed?”

“Sorry?” Wanda looks confused so you clarify. “When you and your brother were arguing, he said your last relationship was 3D printed.” A light bulb goes off in her head, now knowing you were referring to Vision. “That was just Pietro being a jerk,” Wanda says and then she goes on to explain her relationship with this synthetic being to you. You try really hard not to let the fact that this ex-boyfriend of hers quite literally has a connection to her because how were you supposed to compare to that. 

You shake that off and scrape every corner of your mind for any trace of confidence and gather that to work up the nerve to say, “Off topic, or maybe on topic, but I feel like we need to talk about yesterday on the ferris wheel.”

Wanda sees you struggle trying to start a serious conversation. Trying not to have you freak out, as Natasha had implied would practically be impossible, Wanda meets you in the middle. She tries a bit of humor, something you are more comfortable with. “You mean our friendly date?” She adds in a chuckle so you would know she is kidding with you.

You smile, appreciating her trying to make it easier on you to talk to her. If she’s trying for you, you can try for her, you think. You sober up and a more serious expression falls upon your face. You want Wanda to know you mean everything you are about to say next. Wanda, however, misreads the intent behind your expression. What she sees is you finding the words to let her down slowly again. You had said relationships weren’t for you and talk of past flings proved that, so she took a page out of your book- if you can’t beat them, join them. She can play nonchalant too.

“Yeah, about that. I’m sorry I acted so weird after, like it didn’t happen. The truth is I tried to ignore it, but I can’t because it’s constantly replaying in my head. All I can think about is doing it again and I know I said we could only be friends, but-”

“You were right.” Wanda cuts you off early. “What?” you ask thoroughly confused. She continues, “When you said we should just be friends, you were right. It was silly of me to even suggest anything. I mean I’m leaving in five days, so what is the point right?” Wanda reasons with you and as you are about to rebut to say you can make it work, she continues, “I mean I’m probably not in the right headspace to start anything serious. Vision just broke up with me like a month ago.” 

You are starting to feel like you were gathering up courage for no reason, Wanda not letting you speak and stepping on every butterfly that had flapped its wings in your stomach with every word she says. “I came here to take my mind off of it and like magic, you appeared at the door- the perfect distraction.”

That is the blow to the gut you thought you could forget. You thought Clint was the one with perfect aim but Wanda impresses you with her accuracy, choosing the exact word that kills the last bit of hope left in you. On her side of things, Wanda thinks she is doing the right thing even though it kills her to push aside her feelings. Wanda thinks she is sparing you from having to turn her down again and sparing her feelings from having to hear you reject her once more. 

“So don’t worry about the fair. I can definitely say I was not thinking about Vision on the ferris wheel. You are most welcome to do it again anytime.” Wanda forces out a laugh. You didn’t think the sound that would always make you smile would ever make you want to cry. No, you were not going to cry about a girl, especially in front of said girl no less. 

You are angry with yourself. Angry for being so silly as to think this wouldn’t happen. You really played yourself here believing she would be nothing like Skye. It’s not Wanda’s fault. You know this. Still, you can’t help but place some blame on her, her and her stunning smile and her witty remarks and her gorgeous hair and her soft hands that would hold yours or playfully punch you when you joke around. You are angry and upset, and there are normal ways to deal with those emotions. You could yell, you could cry, you could mope and eat all the ice cream you wish, you could even, god forbid, go for a run, but all of those options are too rational for someone with impulsive tendencies. 

Instead, you blink away the tears that were forming, from anger or sadness you don’t know, and move exceptionally closer to Wanda reaching out to run your fingers through her hair. Her breath catches as she watches your eyes take in every inch of her face with a look she can’t quite place. Her heartbeat paces quickly when she catches your eyes glancing down to her lips and then coming back up to peer into her eyes.

“Friends kiss friends all the time, right?”

You hardly give Wanda any time to nod before you crash your lips onto hers. This time you give her time to respond and the second you feel her kissing you back, you push her to lie on her back. 

If a distraction is what she wants, you’ll show her just how distracting you can be.

______________________________________________________________________

One eternity later... je suis retournée! Thank you kind person who asked about me. I’ve been busy with school stuff but I’m done and graduating in two days so I finally have time to get back to this. So next update will probably be Sunday or Monday. Two more chapters left. 

Next chapter: ;) (aka writer struggles to describe things having no experience of doing such things)

Taglist: @madamevirgo @marvels-writings @gayarchnemissis @myperfectlovepoem @purplemeetsblue @magicallymaximoff @b0mbdotc0m @helloalycia @ironscarletwidowsoilder @cantcontroltheirfear @trikruismybitch @your-my-mission @imagine-reblog @fayhar @idek-5 @causeitswhatjesuswouldfreakingdo @bemyvitamin

[1kook]

right place, wrong time

— a someway, somehow jungkook drabble summary Home was Jungkook, it had always been Jungkook… but it wasn’t this Jungkook. warnings angst, heart ache, its actually kinda sad :/ lmfao, jk is a little... uh... como se dice.... jerk without realizing it.... justice for oc.... also there’s a scene where oc throws up so !! rating m wc 1.5k

notes THIS TAKES PLACE 5 YEARS BEFORE SWSH ITSELF ! OK ! enjoy <3 i wanted to try writing angst again <3 also i have no self control i said i would post this in 7 hrs yet here i am. and its not proofread <_<

When you were kids, the fact Jungkook’s birthday fell early on into the school year was a huge deal; everyone in your class was invited, both new and returning students, and the event itself was practically the opening scene to the school year itself. As you got older and he began to move away from colorfully decorated parties, his early birthday still earned him a lot of attention, had everyone at your high school congratulating him from the moment the first bell rang until the last. There weren’t any grand birthday bashes during high school, but the Jeons were a loving family, party or no party, and always got him a cake to celebrate each new year. 

Up until you left for college, you had never missed Jungkook blowing out the candles for his birthday. Be it a backyard party bustling with kids or a smaller affair at his favorite restaurant, you had always been invited, always cheered for him with each new year of life he welcomed. 

As a kid, you had always been adamant on getting the spot closest to him as you sang happy birthday, beaming at your best friend like he was your entire world. His childhood photo albums had been proof of that, filled with a chronological sequencing of every birthday he’s had with you at his side, your smiles changing with the times— from missing teeth to full of braces, you had always been at Jungkook’s side. 

As a young-adult, you had to bite down your pride and watch Sojin fulfill that spot. 

You had missed his last two birthdays since entering college. Your first year away from home, everyone you knew warned you about not going home too early into the year, something about how it would solidify your homesickness and you’d never be able to assimilate afterwards. So you had congratulated Jungkook from Taehyung’s phone screen, greatly appreciating the way Taehyung angled the phone away from Sojin as best he could. Then your second year, you had been drowning in that first wave of projects and essays, and simply couldn’t squeeze a five hour drive there and back into your schedule. Jungkook understood; there was no party this year, just a simple family dinner. The video call ended soon after you congratulated him, his attention drawn away by the voice of another woman you knew all too well. 

For his twenty-first birthday, Jungkook was adamant that you attend. He had told you about it before you had left for the new semester, bent over by the front wheels of your car, making sure everything was in tip-top shape before you went off again. His t-shirt was drenched in sweat, trails running down his hairline, over the prominent veins of his neck.“I want you there,” Jungkook had said, taking your offered hand as he stood back up. He must have miscalculated— or maybe it was on purpose —his step, because when he stepped forward, he was all too close. He didn’t let go of your hand. “Please?” 

Your eyes flickered over his chest, to his neck. He smelled like home, or at least the image of it you had created in your mind during your last two years away. Home was lavender fabric softener billowing over you in waves, the faint traces of this morning’s cologne, the subtle scent of his metallic work tools. It was his chocolate curls tickling his eyebrows, his easygoing smile, the way he pulled you closer, made the scents wash over you all over again. 

It was Jungkook. It was Jungkook. It was Jungkook and his warm touch. It was Jungkook and his softened gaze. Home was Jungkook, it had always been Jungkook… but it wasn’t this Jungkook. It wasn’t this Jungkook and the hickey on his neck. 

The sight made your stomach recoil, eyes quickly averted from the site of the crime. He had gotten here later than usual, said something about having to take Sojin somewhere first. So that’s what that meant. Jungkook, unaware of the fact the collar of his t-shirt has let you in on his private life, squeezes your hand. “You’ll come, won’t you?” 

And you were stupid and you were in love, so of course you said yes. 

It’s a cookout this year, his backyard filled to the brim with relatives and friends and so many cans of beer you don’t know what to do. His parents are ecstatic for your return, babbling on and on about how much he missed you for the last two birthdays. You take it in stride, and maybe in a different timeline you would have believed it, but not this one. Aside from greeting you at the door and taking your keys off your hands, you had barely seen the birthday boy all day. You mingle with old friends, his relatives, tentatively sip at your can of soda. You’re tired, the long drive having sapped the majority of your energy for the day. 

Sometime around sunset, you meet eyes with him across the yard. Jungkook smiles, he always smiles. You okay? he mimes with a thumbs-up, and you want to say yes, but Sojin is sitting on his lap, an obnoxiously loud display, and when he puts his hand back down, it immediately finds its home on her thigh. You send him a half-hearted shrug, play it off like you're still a little carsick from the long drive here. 

(Truthfully, you are sick, but you’re not sure it’s from the drive.) 

Even at twenty-one, his family maintains their tradition and sings him happy birthday. With your return, his mother delegates you to cake cutting duties again, so you’re on standby for the song, at his side with the cake cutter in hand. Jungkook is grinning from ear to ear, Sojin attached to his hip, his arm sling around her shoulders. His family sings and sings, and Jungkook is happy. His eyes jump around the table, taking in the sight before him the way he does every year. And when they reach you at his side, Jungkook beams, reaches for your hand beneath the table and squeezes, all the while keeping his girlfriend closely hugged to his other side. 

You cut the cake. Sojin gets her slice and promptly whisks Jungkook away. 

By ten pm, you find yourself in his upstairs bathroom puking your guts out. It’s the carsickness, you tell yourself, or maybe the cake frosting, throat gagging around nothing, tears clinging to your lash line. But is it really?

“__?” someone says, and you make a weak attempt to turn towards the door. You don’t know what you expected— had you actually wanted Jungkook to find you in this sorry state? —but it isn’t Jungkook. “Shit, what happened?” Taehyung worries, hurrying to your aid. And you’re grateful that there’s someone here to help you, to save you from yourself and your stupid, heartbroken thoughts. But it’s not the man you want it to be, and that has you squeezing your eyes shut tightly, until the mascara on your lashes imprints itself against your under eyes instead. 

The man you want bumps into you downstairs, catches Taehyung helping you into the spare bedroom to lie down. “__?” Jungkook calls out, eyes big and scared. “Where— what’s going on?” he asks, thrusting his plate into Sojin’s hands before rushing to your side. He grabs your forearm, and the touch burns, so you yank yourself away. 

Faintly, you hear Taehyung explain. “She’s sick,” he says, pulling you closer. “She’s been out of it since she first got here. I think it was the long drive.” Yes, it was the long drive, you agree. 

Jungkook, unfazed by your first recoil, reaches for your arm again. “I’ve got her,” he tells Taehyung, underestimating his strength when he tugs you closer, has you stumbling into his chest. His rough handling makes your stomach tighten, your head feel dizzy. 

“Jungkook,” you gasp, hand on his chest. “Wait— I’m—“ And he’s trying to move you back up the stairs, probably into his bedroom to lie down. But the sight of the stairs and his overwhelming scent and the hickey on his neck, the hickey Sojin left on his neck, makes you nauseous all over again. 

Taehyung yelps in your defense. “Jungkook,” he scolds, carefully maneuvering you out of Jungkook’s harm’s way. “You’re making it worse.” 

From a few feet away, Sojin calls out his name. “Jungkook?” she says and her voice is so sweet, yet so sticky; it makes you gag. “Baby, they’re calling for you outside.” 

And everyone is saying his name, so he doesn’t know where to look, doesn’t know who to prioritize, not when everyone wants his attention. He looks at you, and your heart soars for a millisecond. Then it plummets when he settles on Sojin instead. “I— you’re right, Tae,” he sighs, backing off, letting go. “You got __, right?” Taehyung nods. “Call me if anything happens.”

And he leaves, slips his hand around Sojin’s waist and guides her out the door. He doesn’t look back, doesn’t even tell you to get better soon. He just leaves. 

Taehyung lays you down, doesn’t say a word when you start crying because he probably thinks it’s about your stomach and the vomiting. “It’s okay,” he soothes, helping you out of your shoes. “Does it hurt?”

Yes, you sob. It hurts very badly.

Copyright © 2021, 1kook on tumblr. absolutely NO reposts allowed.

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

Making The Best of Bad Situations

Wilfords Demands One Shot

Summary- 3.7k Curtis Everett x You. Pregnancy has you unable to rest, no matter what you or Curtis try. It's becoming an ongoing issue, but Curtis had gotten some tips from the midwife in charge of the front-end nursery.

Warnings- we got some feels between these two, yikes! We also have pregnancy mentions (obviously), fingering, oral, some plain sex cause ya girl here was indulging in some soft Curtis smut feels lately.

A/N- This is the first major thing I have posted in a good long while. So be gentle... please. And I know the moodboard is simple... but I really like it?

Wilfords Demands Masterlist

The bed is comfy, warm, and safe. As safe as you can ever feel on Snowpiercer living in the front end as Curtis’s charge. In fact you could feel his solid form just behind you, his soft breathing sounds just behind your ear. If you were to look over your shoulder, you were sure he would be just inches away. This was how he always slept, you found, he naturally would seek you out in his sleep, a thigh pressed over yours, an arm wrapped around your midsection to have his fingers splayed under your breasts, his face tucked near your head. There was a time you loathed his closeness, how he was so hotly pressed against you while you tried to inch for some space between the two of you.

Now you leaned back heavily into him, letting yourself loosen in his hold. Sometime along you started to feel safe in his hold, content. You didn't have to be curled as small as possible to keep yourself safe, he enclosed you perfectly. It was best not to ponder to much on why this happened, that would mean looking at yourself. How you had grown to accept this situation the two of you were forced into. Instead you let your discomfort surface, being pregnant wasn't all glowing radiance stories made it out to be.

You pressed back slightly to readjust your hips and rubbed against Curtis’s side. You were right, he was close. In his sleep his arm shifted around your swollen belly, spreading his fingers against the width of your baby bump, that's how much bigger this man was then you. It didn't help though, your lower back and hips were killing you and no matter how many times you shifted, you couldn't get comfortable. Pregnancy was taking a toll on you.

A sigh escaped you as you shifted, upper back pressing into the pillows so you could look up, your lower half still twisted to the side. Your caboose baby was growing steadily and it was wearing on your body. You once more went to your side, balling up the pillow under your head to try and alleviate the pressure. It didn't help.

A sleepy groan emitted behind you and a shift made the bed dip so you fell back into Curtis’s bare chest, his arm tightening slightly around the bump. “Y/N, you wont stop wriggling around. Normally I like that, but not when we are trying to sleep.” his voice was gruff from misuse, making it deeper than usual. You bit your lip, hoping he wasn't too aggravated about it.

“I’m sorry Curtis. Go back to sleep.” you look over your shoulder to see him still looking like he was asleep, his eyelids twitching as he becomes more aware of his surroundings. You shifted once more to try and get comfortable, pulling the blanket up around you.

Curtis let his eyes slide open, staring at the back of your head, and he could tell just by being near you that you couldn't relax at all. This was happening every night the past week, making you both tired. He had gone to a midwife on the train in the nursery, asking for tips to help you. Extra pillows, mild foods, a shower before bed, back rubs, and stretching had all been tried and you still fretted and tossed most of the night.

He pulled himself in closer till he was wrapped around you, rubbing the swell of your belly. “I'm not going to sleep till I know you can.”

You gave a shuddering sigh in response, slightly loosening that rigid feeling the more Curtis ran his palm along your belly and over your hips, along your side. He felt you start to sink into his chest while relaxing momentarily. “You are going to be tired.”

“Don't worry about me, you're the one growing our child.”

“He is a persistent little caboose.”

Curtis gave a soft chuckle while resting his chin on your shoulder, “I still can't believe you call our kid a caboose.”

“It's cute…” You hummed while wiggling your hips to press back into Curtis, making him breathe shallowly through his nose feeling your ass press into him. “... what else am I supposed to call him?”

“Mmhh caboose is just fine Y/N.” Curtis responded softly, keeping his hand moving down over your thigh, hoping to relax you. “Can we try another shower?” He offered and you shook your head lightly.

“You know the rules, one a day and you already give up most of your hot water use for me Curtis.” you point out and he grunts in acknowledgment. He couldn't go get you anything from the kitchens, they lock them down at night to keep from supplies being stolen. So far his rubs seemed to make you feel a little more relaxed, but what you really needed was sleep. You were always so tired during the day.

“You know… there is one other thing we can try.” His fingers dipped between your legs to stroke lightly at your inner thighs, and he hid a smile feeling you tighten your legs together with a slight hitch of your breath. “The release could help you relax.” His knuckles brushed just barely against your slit and you tensed in a different way, slight shivers racing up your spine in anticipation. Full warm lips started to press against your neck, flowing down your bare shoulder peeking under the blankets. “If you want me to stop, say so Y/N.”

Did you want him to stop? The brushes of his fingers were causing your body to fall into a familiar place, one that he brought you to every time you allowed yourself to enjoy the physical part of your relationship. The tense uncomfort was starting to soften with the anticipation. Plus he was giving you a choice. Now that you were pregnant, the dynamics between you two have changed.

It wasn’t a hundred percent better, but Curtis tried being gentler, less forceful with you. You could say no again.

Sinking back into his hold a bit more, his broad chest scrapped against your shoulder blades and a hairy thigh pressed between yours to part them. His fingers still teased between your folds, almost lazily trailing from your entrance to coat his fingertips in your arousal to drag back to your clit, circles pressing and pulling the nerves till it sparked your arousal, making you whimper slightly. “Keep going Curtis, don’t stop.”

You could feel the curve of his smile against your shoulder once you said that, his hips rutting barely against you, rubbing his hard cock against your ass. “You are so wet for me baby.” He pressed against your entrance, letting himself fill you to a knuckle to flutter around him. “Going to make you feel so good.”

Curtis continued to stroke his thumb over your hood, dragging it back to tease your aroused nub, the heated spirals making you clamp down around his finger, trying to keep him there while he stroked your warmth, moving faster, with more purpose. Up near your neck, Curtis kept flushing kisses and whispers as you started squirming, your muscles starting to spasm the closer he brought you just with his hand cupping your mound. “You know I’m not going to stop baby till I get what I want.”

Said by any other, that small declaration would have scared you. But with Curtis, you knew it would only be pleasurable for you. Your hand instinctively reached down to grab his wrist while his movements went faster, having you chase after that sensation now with your own ruts against his palm, mewling his name in the neediest way that he flushed kisses over your shoulder, side of your neck till he was pressing his mouth to your ear. “Say it again Sweetheart, let me hear it.”

“Curtis, please.” Your head fell back more as you rambled, leaving him room to nip and kiss where your pulse was hammering, your senses losing track of being coherent as you rode out your climax.

Curtis loved bringing you here, that mindless time when you really just acted out of pure need. Those soft needy cries of yours, your eyes would go out of focus and flutter up as you sunk into bliss. It was satisfying to see you simply feel that good. He knew he could stop there, you would probably sink into sleep now if he let you come down fully.

But this was too good, he enjoyed you too much to let this be the end of it. Pulling his hand away so he could grasp your hips and turn you to your back, you went with his movements so willingly, stretching almost lazily like a cat when he eased you to your back. One of your hands shot over your head, balling into a stretch behind your head while the other lazily stroked his chest while he shifted to hover over you.

“Any better?” He rumbled out while stroking your hip and down between your thighs, massaging the quiver that still shook you, small aftershocks.

“Much better.” You purred out, blinking up at him with that still hazy look in your eyes. He took the chance to press a kiss to your lips, exhaling softly when you returned it to him. Curtis left the sweetness of your mouth to trail down your body, easing backwards while he paid attention along your collarbone. A palm drifted up to your breasts, kneading it gently till you were encouraged to arch into his touch. He knew how sensitive carrying Jace had made you, keeping his fingertips gentle as he circled your pebbled nipples. It was just right cause he heard you inhale sharply when he twirled just right, little light mewls when he replaced his rough fingers with the warmth of his mouth, making you clutch at his shoulder. “Be careful…” You whimper out as your nails scratch up his neck and along his scalp in a slow lazy manner. “Sensitive.”

“What feels better?” He kissed around your breast before taking you back into his mouth while palming the other with light rolling of your nipples. It drew a gasp and curling of your fingers in your scalp. His gaze lifted to watch you tilt your head back, whining his name.

“Curtis, I-”

He lifted his mouth away to let the bristles of his chin brush over the tender flesh. “Come on baby, simple question.” You squirmed under him, a mix of wanting more, and having to push him away so you could catch your breath for just a second.

“Both? I think I should be allowed to pick both.”

“You are so needy, I love this side of you.” Curtis gave a soft laugh while he started to flow further down your body, still palming a breast but now he flushed kisses over your round belly. Affectionate in his actions, this was a part of you he treasured. He never got to enjoy this before. Getting to know his partner, seeing the way you changed because of creating a life together. It wasn't ideal, seeing how they were nothing more than prisoners, but there was a part of Curtis that was infinitely amazed at it all. It wasn't just a baby on the train, this was his baby, with his girl, dare say his feelings were so much more than anything he remembers experiencing before.

You caught your breath while he covered your bump with the sweetest kisses ever. Sure not to leave an inch of you without an affectionate touch from him while he massaged your aching hips, lifting them slightly to stuff a pillow underneath you. He pushed back up to loom over you, searching your expression for any sign of discomfort. “This good?” He rubbed your side reassuringly, making you relax further into his touch.

You lifted your gaze to him above you, reaching up to brush a hand through the bristles on his cheek. “Better actually.” You grinned up at him while wrapping a leg loosely around his back. “Killed the spasms in my back Jace was causing.”

Curtis pulled back, speaking directly to your belly. “You gotta be good to your mama.”

You hummed in agreement, letting your hand push gently through the bristles of his hair while he continued kissing down your body. “Good luck, he's probably as stubborn as his Daddy.” You smirked at him while he lightly bit the top of your mound, large hands cupping the back of your thighs and pressing them back.

“Nah, he's gonna be like his Mama, strong and resilient.” He winked at you and sat back a bit, admiring how he had you. Just how he wanted you, relaxed and aroused. There was a light sheen over your chest, your hands had fallen to rest on your stomach and you gazed up at him with half-lidded eyes that said you trusted him to touch you. So different from months ago when he had to pin you down because back then it was going to happen, one way or another.

Now, you both gave so freely, willingly. Something Curtis never really experienced before, wanting the connection he had been able to build with you.

“Fuck I just gotta taste you.” He muttered as he lowered himself to your folds, his hands massaged the inside of your spread thighs while kissing on your folds, nudging his nose against your clit to excite you. Your thighs strained further apart for his massive shoulders.

Every time you felt Curtis take you like this, you would spiral so quickly. He simply knew what he was doing, your toes would curl into his shoulder blades while his tongue tasted you, took you apart stroke by stroke with the flattening of his tongue tracing you with his chin, bristling against your sensitive flesh. The tip of his nose bumped and pressed against your clit, making you wriggle enough so Curtis circled his arms around your thighs, hands flushing against your hips to hold you onto the pillow.

“Curtis- fuck- please.” You babbled, reaching for him and clutching his head. The little spirals curled in your belly and up your spine. It just came out as a run of words that Curtis thoroughly enjoyed your mindless babble and quivering thighs crashing and clutching the sides of his head. But your tune soon changed, feeling you tug as much as you could on his head. “Get up here, need you.”

A dart of his tongue through your drenched cunt and a lift of his head glanced up at you, this pleading begging version of you needing him. Who was he going to deny that when his cock was ready to bury in your sweetness and let himself get lost in you. Kneeling between your thighs, he wrapped his hand around his cock, trailing along your folds. “That bad huh?” His blue eyes twinkled at you, and you gave a quick nod in affirmation.

“You promised to make me go to sleep Curtis.” You wrapped an leg around him and pulled him closer to you. Sinking into you slowly, Curtis gave a firm roll of his hips, and that sweet little gasp you had was matched with his own groan at the way you clutched around him, warmth surrounding him to draw him in deeper. Your hands slid up his chest, over his shoulders, down his arms to grasp his biceps.

“You all good Sweetheart?” He asked, slowly moving himself to pull out and press back into you. You dug your nails into the tensed muscles, panting in response the faster he moved. All you had the mind to do was nod, just let him take you wherever. You lifted your legs, knees grasping at his sides while he fell forward, hand braced against the wall and pulling your hips closer to him. Curtis hunched over you, careful of your belly, but chasing your sweet mewls of his name till he pulled you into a kiss. Urgent, messy, you wrapped your arms around his neck to hold him close to you.

All through the steady thrusts of his hips, gyrating to be sure you felt all of him, he worshipped your body. Down your neck, burying his face into your shoulder while you arched under him, your whole sensitized body burning pleasurably with any contact. Curtis reached behind him, pulling a thigh up higher to hike around him, allowing him to go deeper.

The angle hit just right, the one that left you crying underneath him as you just held on. He was relentless, feeling your slick warmth around him, your pussy clenching over and over rapidly. “Curtis…” You managed to whine out, mimicking his earlier action; burying your face into his shoulder. Moaning as you bit into the muscle when you finally came, over and over your body shook, refusing to give him up. This orgasm wrapped you warmly, a pleasured wave flooding your system till your mind went hazy.

“I got you Baby.” He grunted, the tension in his body flaring at tense tendons and hardened muscles, all keeping himself in check. You fell back into the pillows and watched as he started to peak, his jaw tense and eyes squeezing shut. Your hands shot up and cupped his face while he let go, pumping himself into you while your body milked him for what he had to offer.

The tension seeped from his face as he grunted, his jaw going slack, a waiver of his arms holding himself up threatened to pitch and crash forward on you, but he held himself above you with determination. Your hands slid to the back of his head and eased him into you, pressing your lips to his in a post haze kiss, your other leg curling around him and clutching to him to keep Curtis from pulling away from you.

Curtis returned it, just as hungrily as you claimed it, but it softened, you two slowly parted and his forehead leaned against yours while catching his breath. Your tight grip surrounding him started to loosen, allowing you to sink back into the bed. Curtis took the quiet moment to ease from you, moving to lay beside you.

You grabbed the pillow used to elevate your hips and pushed it aside to turn into Curtis, one hand just rested against his chest that was still expanding while he came down from his high. You almost kept your next words to yourself, but the moment was there, and you didn't know if it would be again. “Has anyone ever told you that you were beautiful?”

You could see the confused look that crossed his features, pinching them slightly as he tried to process what you were saying. “I can't say that I have.” His head tilted towards you, inches away. This close you could see the way the blues in his eyes shattered, light and dark shades of the blue spectrum circled around his pupils. Like with anything, upon a closer look, they were not as simple as they first appeared to be.

“You are… when you just let go.” You curled your fingers against his chest, letting your touch be a soothing scratch. “It's just you. It's like…” You furrowed your brow, trying to explain it. “Everything else you have been made to become slides away. The tension, the responsibilities, what you have to be here. You are just you, and you are… well you really are in the lack of a better word beautiful.”

You imagined the heat that must be creeping up his neck to burn the tops of his ears, in the dark of the room, you didn't care you couldn't see. It also hid your smile at this moment, it was rare that you got to shock Curtis in such a good way.

Finally, he grunted beside you, yanking the blankets over both of you. “You must be sleep deprived Y/N, cause I am nothing special.” He muttered as he possessively pulled you into his hold.

“Mmmh, I don’t know about that Curtis. You don’t give yourself enough credit for having survived this long without any control.” You say softly, settling your back into his chest while he curled around you once more, thighs tucked behind yours and hand against your stomach. “You know I don’t hate you for any of this right?” You ask while you're turned away from him. Somehow it was easier talking about these harder things in the safety of the dark. Although you couldn't see him, you could feel him. The way his fingers flexed against your stomach, or the catch of his breath faltering where it had been steady against the back of your neck. “You didn’t have a choice, just as I didn’t. It was going to happen.” You let your hand slide on his, squeezing gently. “I know you didn’t want any of this and did your best to make it tolerable.”

Although he didn’t say anything, you knew he was listening. “I know I’m lucky that it was you and not someone else. That’s all I wanted to say.” Nothing but silence came from Curtis, and you let yourself succumb to sleep finally.

Curtis though, he laid there letting your words circle in his thoughts. Unsure of how to feel of your observation of him, that he was in any way special or that you were actually lucky to be in his charge. For all the years he was used, the guilt of it had built into his chest till he could see little of anything worthwhile inside of himself. Some point along, he killed the feelings of caring about those he was forced with. At first, it had been sheer fear driving him, then it changed. Became habit.

Then you came along and the longer you stayed, the easier being with you was. Now he looked forward to waking up with you, coming back after his workouts to see you curled in the chair reading, evenings of teaching you to play chess, talking or the other small things you two did to kill time.

Was it selfish of him to continue wanting you in this manner? Daresay that you were happy and content with him enough to want to stay? He sincerely felt he didn't deserve it. Not after all that he had done before.

Giving a sigh, at the confliction it built in him, he tucked your head under his chin and willed himself to just sleep as well.

[darkdevasofdestruction]

Brahms's Lullaby ~ Brahms Heelshire x Reader

Note: Why do I love Brahms? Fuck if I know. Anyway, this is what happens when a a meek, cute girl moves away from her old life to turn the page and find herself once again...And yet, her dark past quite literally comes back to haunt her.

'That's one huge manor...' Y/N thought to herself, the back of her neck straining as she scanned it from the bottom to the very top of the roof. The grip on her luggage tightened as she gulped in anxiety, and after taking a few deep breaths, she entered in this house, and immediately got greeted by the elderly woman who was the mistress of the house.

Y/N wasn't sure if it was her who was just nervous about the drastic change in her life, or if the woman was simply incredibly intimidating, but hey, as far as she was concerned, this woman won't be staying with her, so she will be all alone in the house, taking care of a child...How bad could it be?

Oh wait. Y/N hates children. They are so loud, bratty, obnoxious, entitled, rude...And the list could go on for ages, but she couldn't loiter in her mind any longer, and instead, she had to memorise where each room was, and what instructions the woman was saying.

She couldn't believe it, but she was glad she chose to wear a pair of comfortable sneakers, for she kinda got tired going up and down the manor...But what could she do anyway?

The kitchen got introduced to her, the woman told her to keep the leftovers in the freezer, told her about Malcom the delivery boy and how he's the only one allowed to bring her stuff. Weird, but what could she do? P'haps the child has a very strict routine that they must stick to, otherwise they'll feel weird and uncomfortable. Who knows?

And then, she showed her the music room, and while she wasn't paying much attention to the woman who turned on the music on the radio rather loud, Y/N looked around, inspecting the musical instruments, especially the piano, and the music sheets neatly displayed - "Brahms's Lullaby" it was called.

"Oh, is the child a fan of Johannes Brahms?" Y/N asked with a soft smile on her face, as she gently traced her fingers over the keys. "Yes, he is. In fact, the child is called Brahms." the woman spoke a bit sharply, looking her up and down with eyes that almost seemed...Judging, for some reason. "What a lovely name. When will I meet little Brahmsy?" she asked, and as soon as she used that nickname, the woman's jaw got set, and Y/N could swear she was gritting her teeth in anger at her. "...Brahms. His name is Brahms. You will meet him right now. Come on." the woman went on ahead and opened a room, where a doll was sitting in a chair, neatly dressed like a gentleman, while next to him, crouching, an elderly man, who she could only assume was the woman's husband, the master of the house. "Oh, my dear Brahms...This is Y/N, she is here to be your new nanny. Miss L/N, this us Brahms, and he will decide whether he accepts you or not." ...a doll? She...Has to babysit...A doll? Well...The pay is good, and she's veeeery far away from her old home, so...No new beginning happens within your comfort zone, right? "Hello, Brahms, it's great meeting you. I hope we'll get along well." with a sweet smile on her face, Y/N crouched down if front of the chair and took the little hand of the doll, shaking it carefully. "...Fine enough. Now, could you give us some time alone? Brahms will decide now." with that look on her face, while the old man looked at her with pity, and...Relief, maybe? Y/N exited the room, only to see a man standing in front of her, wearing an amiable smile. "Oh, hello there, you must be the new nanny. I'm Malcom, the delivery boy. Well, delivery man. Nice to meet you." very charming... "Ah, yes, I've heard about you. My name is Y/N, nice meeting you as well." she replied politely, although she could sense the flirt he was failing to put forward. "If you want, some day, I can show you around the town. It's small, but kinda pretty." he continued in the same manner, and Y/N replied with simple answers, until finally, the woman opened the door widely, with an even wider smile. "Brahms has decided that you are suitable to be his new nanny, congratulations." how the human behaviour can change so drastically, doing a whole 180, in a split second. "Thank you so much for accepting me, Brahms! I'm sure we'll get along well!" Y/N clapped her hands together to her chest in a cheerful manner, as the elder man left as well, allowing his wife some more farewell words with the doll. "Here, I made you a simplified list of rules you must follow. You don't have to wake up at 7 in the morning every day like my wife told you, but you must make sure all of these are taken care of, alright, miss L/N?" the man asked, handing her the paper which she attentively read. "Yes, of course, I will do as instructed without fail. Thank you for having trust in me with your dear Brahms. Have a lovely trip and I hope you get a well-deserved rest!" Y/N wished them, and for a split second, she almost thought the man's eyes flashed with shock and sorrow. What was going on anyway...? This family is...Peculiar, to say the least. Well, no matter, she will be paid weekly, and with the pretty generous amount she earned while working as a doctor, she should be able to afford anything she'd want, so she won't get bored.

And so, the Heelshires left, and she was all alone with the doll - Y/N decided to make her new bedroom to her liking, as much as possible, with Brahms sitting on a nightstand, as she was humming whatever tune that went in her mind, and swaying carefreely.

"You know, Brahms? I wasn't expecting you to be a doll. But frankly, I think this is better. Children are annoying...But you? You're really nice. And you're not loud or obnoxious. I think we'll be great friends." speaking to a doll...I guess that's how far in my loneliness I've gotten. Tragic, really...She thought as she realised how much of a crazy person she'd look like, were someone to see her. "Since it's already evening, let's go make some really good dinner, and then we can play the piano a bit? Maybe even watch a movie together?" she picked up the doll and went to the kitchen, and looking in the fridge, then at the utensils available, she put together a nice dinner, and put it split in two plates, one for her, and one for the doll, and to keep away the boring silence that hung painfully throughout the house, she put on some LoFi music on her phone, and ate, feeling more peace now than she ever did. "Hmmm...I know your mum told me to put the food in the freezer...But it's better eaten while still warm. I don't think you'll like it if it's stone cold...So, I'll leave it here, on the table, and see how it is. If you don't like it, and you want me to put it in the fridge, just tell me, and I'll do as advised." ...Just tell me? JUST TELL ME? Girl, are you out of your mind?! As if a doll could speak...

After she washed her plate, fork and knife, she picked up the doll once again, and went to the music room, putting the doll on the piano, and cracking her fingers, she let them glide over the claviature, creating a beautiful melody echo through the room, and maybe Y/N didn't realise, but she had a glowing smile on her face, and she visibly relaxed and felt at ease, as if she was flying through the fluffy clouds.

"I haven't done this in so long, I'm surprise I'm not rustier. I hope you liked it too, Brahmsy. Now, let's go to be. Do you want to sleep in my room? Come on, I'm a bit anxious to sleep by myself in this huge, creepy house." she mused as she got to her room, carefully putting the doll on her pillow and after going to the bathroom to change in her cutesy Unicorn Pusheen nightgown, and turning on her laptop, she put on Harry Potter, one of her comfort movies, and cuddling with the doll, she gave it a little kiss before getting engulfed in the story once again, and falling asleep without realising.

Everything was peaceful in the house in the morning, until Y/N reached the kitchen to make some light breakfast, only to find a paper on the table, with beautiful cursive writing in ink on it.

"Warm is better, thank you :) "

Frankly speaking, it freaked her our enough to get a panic attack and barricade herself in her room for the whole day, her bedroom locked and too afraid to leave that place for the whole day.

Oops.

After this, days on end, and then weeks passed by uneventfully, as Y/N took care of Brahms with no problem, Malcom came by to give her the groceries, the pay and anything that she'd order online, she'd chat with some old friends, would watch movies, would go out to plant flowers and tend to the garden, would dance around, happy to bask in the warm Summer sun, would read whatever books she likes, with the doll in her lap, and she realised that she never felt more relaxed and free in her life.

It was pretty cool not having to work for money, huh?

But one day, when she was out in the garden, barefoot and with a cute, flower dress on, her long, beautiful hair, accessorised with a colourful flower crown, and she was dancing to the music on her phone, she noticed a figure somewhere from the forest. It was unmoving, almost as if it was staring, and it startled Y/N. It startled and frightened her so much that she quickly picked up the doll and went inside the house, making sure all windows and doors are properly locked, and the drapes are closed, so nobody could get in.

That night, she kneeled on the bad, an upset frown on her face, as she felt her eyes watering slightly, looking down at the porcelain doll of the little boy.

"It's moments like this when I hoped you were human, Brahmsy. Not a child...But a man. I'm scared...I'm so scared...I don't like being alone. There was some creep outside in the forest, and it was staring at us. What do I do, Brahmsy? What am I supposed to do...?" as she felt a few tears streaming down her face, she sighed, hanging her head down, raking her fingers down her face in mild desperation. "...Who am I kidding, you're just a doll, you're not human. Why the hell do I even bother. I'm going to die here, sooner or later..." her voice was filled with dread and resignation as she got under the covers, clinging onto the doll as if her very life depended on it.

Since that very day, she continued seeing the silhouette of a tall man, standing there, menacingly stalking her every single day, from different places, until she heard the phone ring, and reluctantly, she answered.

"...Hello? Who is there...?" she muttered, gripping the phone anxiously, awaiting and answer. "You don't recognise the voice of the man that made you feel good every night?" her breath stopped completely hearing that awful voice she hoped never to hear again. Instead of answering, she slammed the phone down.

But it rang again.

And again.

And again.

Until it drove her mad and she disconnected it completely.

It wasn't like anyone would call her anyway, and if they wanted to contact her, then they could text her on her private phone, or on social media.

Why can't she just get some peace anywhere? She just wanted to get away from all hell she was put through at home...But now, it seemed like Hell was inclined to follow her to the ends of the world.

The stress and fright from this increased when she received multiple pictures of herself from either outside the house, or even inside, which is when she realised the stalked from outside was, in fact, the one who called her on the phone. It was her horrible ex.

And one horrible night, as she gripped on the doll to dear life, walking down the corridors of the huge manor, checking for the thousandth time that everything is locked tight, she heard a noise.

What was she supposed to do...? She couldn't run out of the house, everything was locked...And could she hide? Not really, she was sure he'd check all the rooms without fail.

So...What could she do except try to hide in her room?

She waited in her wardrobe, knowing very well that, if he were to get inside her bedroom, he would check every nook and cranny, but even so, she felt safer in a cramped, tight place, than outside in such an open room.

Mere seconds felt like outright centuries, she heard the door slam open, making her jump in fright, her hand to her mouth, so she'd muffle any sound she'd potentially make from her hyperventilating. She knew, it would be long before he checked the wardrobe, but gosh...The anticipation made her anxiety skyrocket.

Until it finally happened.

Y/N found herself being dragged from inside her safe place by the hair, thrown to the ground, but not once did she let go of the doll that became some sort of a comfort object for her.

"So that's where you were, Y/N! I missed you! It's been a while, hasn't it?" oh no, that overly sweet voice...It's nothing but poison. It was so bad that her bottom lip started quivering with fear as she tried to crawl away from there, but obviously, to no avail. "Wheeeere are you going, darling? Didn't you miss me? Come on, give me a hug!" he grinned, grabbing her and trapping her in his arms, and she couldn't help but tremble in disgust and fear as she felt his hands roaming in places it shouldn't. "Why aren't you talking to me? Why aren't you saying anything? Come on, let me hear you voice! ...DO SOMETHING, DAMN IT!" ah, his facade crumbled much faster than expected, and that aggressive scream in her face as he roughly pushed her in the wardrobe door made her whimper and wrap herself around the doll, trying not to let tears fall down her face and just...Praying for all this to be over...To be just a nightmare..."What the fuck is with that doll anyway? Why do you cling on it, and not on me? Give that here." but she didn't let go, and seeing how she was opposing him, he forcefully grabbed her face before slapping her before snatching away the doll from her arms. "Sheesh...It's so fucking ugly. No wonder you stay with this, it's the only thing that would stay with someone like you. So ugly, dumb, annoying...You should be grateful that I'm here! Nobody in this world wants you! You're worthless and you deserve nothing. Do you hear me? You ARE nothing! Better thank me nicely for coming all the way here for you! Nobody would bother doing ANYTHING for you!" he yelled at her, as she cradled her face, crying, but also fearing being seen crying, remembering how bad it would get. "Don't her Brahms...Please...Please don't hurt him..." she begged and pleaded over and over, but it only seemed to ignite more anger in his eyes. "You only beg me with that sweet voice of yours...To save your stupid...Thing? Really, Y/N? You're pathetic. You're stupid. You're disgusting. Fuck you and fuck your stupid doll!" and with that, the jerk started slamming the fragile porcelain doll on the wall, ignoring the desperate pleas from the girl. "NO! NOOOOOOOO! No....! Brahms, no...! What has he done to you..." Y/N crawled to the place where the doll's porcelain head was slammed apart, and she let tears fall over as, with shaky hands, she tried to piece together the overly-fragmented head, only to get pulled back by the hair and slammed on the ground, as he pushed himself upon her, his hands grabbing at her exposed flesh, her light nightgown offering close to no protection from the lecherous predator, and her weak, noodle arms, just like before, offered no resistance to his significantly stronger, bulkier built, and no matter how much she tried to fight back, she knew...She knew that struggling never helped, no matter how much she tried. It never did. And it only made it hurt more.

But then...Before she knew it, a loud noise, like that of an explosion, or destruction, came from somewhere in the room, startling the poor girl enough to make her scream in fright, while the predator jumped to his feet looking at the hole in the wall...

Only for a pair of hands to slowly creep out of the wall, tredging along the wooden walls, and then, a head wearing a porcelain mask creepily got out, followed by 2 legs and a body. It seemed to be a man, very tall - In fact, taller than her ex - , but while yes, his dramatic entrance startled the two, the man only got angrier, ready to fight the intruder, while the petite girl only got more frightened by the commotion, dragging herself in the safest corner of the room, shaking, guarding her head with both her arms, hoping again and again that this was all a nightmare, and it would end already - It was beginning to look so much more incredible, like a weird fantasy movie...This can't be real, right?!

"Y/N! Help me!" the voice of a child called out her name, almost strangled and desperate, and peeking at the brawl on the ground, she noticed her ex trying to strangle the stranger, whose head was leaning, his eyes fixated on hers.

He went out of the wall as soon as she got attacked...He was trying to protect her...Maybe? So...She got up, trying not to attract the attention of her ex, and taking ahold of the lamp on her nightstand, she brought it down hard against her ex's head, making him groan in pain...But he didn't fall. He didn't faint, like you see in movies. Instead, he got up, glaring at the meek girl and snatched away the lamp, throwing it away.

"You fucking bitch...Now you've done it." his voice was so dark that she was sure this was game over, so she bolted out of the room as fast as she could, but the labyrinthine house was impossible to navigate, and before she knew it, she found herself in a dead end, with no escape.

However, instead of seeing her ex with the wrath of a raging bull, she noticed the stranger slowly making his way towards her, his shoulder slouched, his dirty, once white, tank top now splattered with fresh blood, as is the rest of his outfit. But his hands were up, almost as if to say that he 'surrenders', as he stepped right in front of the trembling girl.

"Please don't kill me. Please don't hurt me. Please, please, please, I will leave you alone, I will go away, I will do want you want, please don't hurt me." even her voice was shaky, her arms crossed to protect her face, and her eyes closed in fear, so she didn't notice the curly haired man slowly crouching down in front of her, his head tilting slowly, before he gingerly grasped her wrists, pulling them away with such gentleness that she never knew. It was so weird for someone to be so careful with her body...With her...That she opened her eyes, doe-like, looking at the man's wide eyes that peered through his mask. "I am Brahms." but this time, his voice wasn't like that of a child, but not did it sound rough and hoarse, like her ex's. It was soft and delicate, masculine, but not too much. It was soothing. And what Brahms once saw to be the most frightened eyes, remembering how scared Bambi was when his mother died, yet now, they had more of a curious spark. "I won't hurt you. I promise. Don't leave." the once tense girl visibly relaxed under his touch, as he let go of her wrists and letting his knees touch the floor, he leaned forwards, between her legs, to get closer to her, and touched her face with both of his arms, wiping away her tears, surprised at how soft her skin was...Is it was a flower petal feels like? He remembers overly descriptive books where women are seen as different delicate things...A flower, a fawn, a butterfly, a nightingale, the Moon, and so many others...And he could finally understand why. "You are safe now." he continued, thinking it would make the girl smile, but instead, even more tears leaked down her face, and she threw her arms around his neck, bringing him closer to her, his body flushed to hers...And he stood there, stiff, shocked at the situation he was in.

What was he supposed to do now? Touch was so foreign to him...But he loved it so much! It was so warm, it made him happy! He wanted the girl to be closer and closer to him. He remembers what she did daily to his doll - What was it called...A cuddle? - Yes, he wanted that. He NEEDED that.

He hated that man touching her - He was hurting her - Only HE can touch her. He deserved to die. He deserved to fuck off. All he has to do is get rid of the body, and the rest can go on as it always has been - Except, instead of Y/N cuddling the doll, she will cuddle him every night, and she will kiss him.

"Thank you, Brahmsy. Thank you. Thank you so much." she continued thanking him over and over again, but he didn't answer. Instead, his hands slowly made their way on her waist, then went to the curvature of her hips, then to her thighs, and without any warning, he lifted her up, indirectly forcing her to glue herself to him even more - Not before hearing her cute squeal of surprise - And he carried her to one of the guest bedrooms, shivering a bit as he felt her warm breath on his bare neck - It excited him, but he didn't understand really what it was - But it was enough to make him bite his lip behind the mask and his grip on her thighs strengthened a bit, under the pretext of making sure she doesn't fall by mistake.

Luckily, he reached the bedroom and closing the door behind, he got in bed, holding her close as she stood in his lap, so close that he could feel her rapid heartbeat slowing down little by little. It was no misunderstanding, she was getting more and more comfortable around him. He was her protector, and he wasn't going to let anyone hurt her ever again. She was his. Nobody else's. Only his.

They stood like that for a while, just holding each other and calming down, before Brahms turned the both of them to the side, and he hugged her tightly to his chest, playing with her hair, not letting her go for the whole night. His embrace was warm, and Y/N felt so safe - As never before, not even in her parents' home. She felt...Good.

The next day, she woke up still in Brahms's arms. She wasn't sure if he woke up or not, but she leaned to plant a soft kiss on the forehead of the mask, as she raked her fingers through his dark, curly hair, but before she knew it, a pair of arms wrapped around her torso, hugging her close to his chest.

"Good morning, Brahms. Did you sleep well?" her sleepy voice was so cute...He wanted to wake like this every day...As an answer, he merely nodded. "I'm happy to hear that. Come on, we have to eat breakfast, then take a shower...And after that, we can do whatever we want. Sounds good?" she asked, getting up and holding his arms, urging him to follow her. "No shower!" ah, the childish voice again, I see... "Then...How about I shower with you? I have some cute rubber duckies, if you want." she tried to appeal to his inner child, which seemed to pique his interest. "...Only if you wash me." he muttered, making the girl chuckle. "Okay, sure, sure. Let's eat something first. I think there's some milk and cereal." she remembered how much she loved to eat that every morning before going to school, when she was little.

She prepared two bowls and they ate in silence, until Brahms muttered that he wants to hear the music she usually puts when eating - And grinning at him, she put on LoFi music once again, which seemed to make the boy happy too.

After that, they went to the bathroom, and while Brahms waited for the tub to get filled, Y/N went to get the clothes in the washing machine, while getting some fresh clothes for the both of them. Apparently, he actually had other clothes, he just didn't want to bother washing or changing...For who knows how long...

As Brahms got in the tub, only briefs on, playing with the duckies, Y/N kneeled by the tub, taking the flower-scented showed gel and the sponge.

"Get in the tub too." Brahms put his arms on the tub edge, leaning his chin on them, looking at her attentively. "We don't have much space in the tub." she explained, but he had none of it. Instead, he rose from underneath the water, picked her up with a weird ease, and got her in the tub, not before splashing her, so her nightgown was soaked so she couldn't protest anymore. "...Fine, you got me. Let me clean you, then." she shook her head with a sigh as she heard him chuckle, gripping her wrists and pulling her to sit on his lap. Did he really like it that much, she wondered. "Can I shave your chest and neck, Brahms?" she asked as she trailed her hands over his chest, shoulders and arms, scrubbing with a sponge, one hand always finding its way on either her hip or her leg. The answer came in the form of a nod, and she reached to the sink to get a shaving blade and very carefully, making sure not to irritate his skin, or cut him by mistake, she cut down the overgrown, stinky, unwashed hair. In the end, his skin was finally clean and soft and smelling like roses and vanilla. "Let me sit behind you, I have to wash your hair." he seemed pretty exited, feeling her legs on either side of him, his head leaning back so her fingers could work miracles - He felt in heaven - He was so spoiled, and he loved every second of it. The shampoo smelled really nicely too, he had to admit. But her fingers massaging his scalp...Ahhh, it was so perfect, he was almost sure he'd fall asleep. "Let me wash you too!" he said, and in a split second, he could feel the girl's body stiffen, her eyes going wide, and her face...It was beginning to turn pink...? Was she...Blushing? "Ah, uhm...Well...Y-You can wash my hair, if you want?" she was stuttering! So cute! So cute, in fact, that he pinched both her cheeks, and they felt like marshmallows. "H-Hey, stop, that hurts." she pouted as he teased her. He loved that. "Yay!" Brahms cheered as he got her back glued to his chest, his hand gingerly tracing her neck, making her lean her head back, just as he did...But why did he like the sight of his hand wrapped around her neck? He didn't want to hurt her...But the visual was getting him feel weird things.

He followed the same routine as she did to him - Massaging her scalp, putting shampoo, rinsing, then this...Conditioner? Oh, it smelled nicely...And this is called...Hair mask? Ah, this is coconut scented! And she is smiling! She has a kitty smile! She looks like a cute little kitty!

After the bath time was over, Y/N wrapped him in a bathrobe, and while he wasn't paying attention, she quickly took off her nightgown and put another bathrobe on tying it tightly, and guiding the man back to their room, so she could use a hair dryer to dry both their hair, before brushing it neatly, so they could dress up...And he insisted she dressed in that cute, flowy, flower-patterned dress

"There, all good. What do you want to do now, Brahmsy? Do you want to go in the garden and see the flowers?" she asked, a bright smile on her face, both her hands holding his, and he could see her eyes were basically glimmering, pleading him to go out with her...But he hated the outside...Hmmm...

He grumbled a bit, but ultimately, he let himself be dragged outside - He hissed a bit, as if he was a vampire getting burnt by the sun, but after a while...He didn't find it that bad...? And the flowers in the garden were so pretty...!

"Hey, Brahms, take off your shoes and socks. Feel the grass. It will make you feel so calm and peaceful...Here, how do you feel?" she asked, intertwining her fingers with his. "It's...It tickles." he muttered, looking down and wiggling his toes to get used to it. "Come sit down with me. Watching the clouds is really relaxing." she said, helping him sit down, then laying on their backs. Instead of staying apart, however, Brahms pulled her close to his chest, her head resting on his shoulder. "...But it's kinda boring..." he muttered, as he started kneading her arm up and down, massaging it from sheer boredom. "Look, Brahmsy, that cloud looks like a bunny, don't you think?" she put her finger up in the air, pointing to one of the clouds passing by. "Ah! You're right! And that one looks like a dragon! And that one looks like a butterfly! Look, Y/N, it's so pretty!" his boredom dissipated quickly and it got replaced by excitement instead - Very wholesome, the girl thought as she looked at the person next to her getting so happy over such simple things.

They stood outside until evening came, and they could watch the beautiful sunset, the sky painted with the most gorgeous shades there are. "Let's get inside, dear, it's getting cold. We don't want to get sick, right?" she smiled at him, only for him to hang his head down, and then he took off his cardigan and put it over her shoulders and pulled the girl between his legs, her back glued to his broad, warm chest and his embrace made her feel so warm and at ease. "Brahmsy...?" she asked softly, tilting her head up, before feeling his chin on top of her head, but she was met with silence. "The stars are pretty. You are pretty. Y/N is the prettiest, brightest star. Y/N is my star. I love my star." his soft voice was heard, almost whispery, and after a few more seconds, she felt the softest, sweetest kiss on her hair, then on her temple and on her cheek, before his chin found its place back on her head. "I love you, Brahms." she said, with teary eyes, intertwining her fingers to his, pulling his arms closer to her and squeezing his hands. "And I've never loved anyone more than I love you."

Needless to say, that comment made the man giddy and happy, for he, too, felt happiest now than he ever did before. When they felt tired, Brahms picked the girl up and got her back to their now shared room, dressed in their sleeping wear and cuddled, yet this time, Y/N was holding him, his head resting on her chest, as she played with his hair, soothing, and humming a lullaby to help him sleep.

It was Brahms's Lullaby.

[xsugarysweetsx]

Request; from @tsundere-cherry-girl

Hello there! I love your writings btw, especially the Levi ones. I’ve seen you write scenarios like this before so I was gonna ask if you could do Zuko x pregnant reader. If you’ve read the comics, she becomes pregnant around the time of the Promise and goes into labor after the final battle in Smoke and Shadow. The child being Izumi. If you haven’t read the comics you don’t need to do that. I just want to see some Zuko and reader with baby Izumi fluff UwU

A/N: I changed it up just a tiny bit to fit the comic but also be it’s own story as well, ALSO! I’m sorry this took so long! 

Warning; Long, had to be cut for length

Please enjoy~🍰

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The night was calm, quiet, and warm. You laid in your husbands arms as you both slept. After so much chaos, hatred and war you were finally able to rest. Well, almost, Zuko has been very jumpy since being crowned fire lord. Although some of his hunches did turn out to be true, he was very set on someone trying to kill him 

“Guards!“ he had woken you from your sleep calling for the guards again, “Someone is here, secure Y/N and search the area!“ he ordered them as he jumped from bed. You following him to bring him back to bed

“Fire Lord Zuko, there is no one here, you’re safe“ one explained rushing to the door where he was ready to fight. Sometimes you thought he had too much trauma as a child that it will forever effect him

“Zuko sweet, please come back to bed. The guards have been here the whole night“ you said laying a hand on his chest attempting to keep him in a calmer state 

“You highness I can assure you no one is here-“

“There have been 5 attempts already on my life! Next thing you know they’ll come for my wife“ he grabbed the guard by the front of his uniform to make the message clear as to how serious he was 

“Sir we’ve-“ just as the guard spoke his head had been hit by an object knocking him out to the floor. Zuko pushes you behind him and gets into his fighting stance ready to defend you 

“Who’s there?! Show yourself“ just as commanded the intruder shows themselves whirling around what seemed to be a metal ball with spikes. Right before your eyes they go at it. Taking swings at each other, sooner than expected Zuko has his opponent at his mercy being taken away by his guards. He comes back to check on you

“Hey are you alright? Are you hurt?” he checks your face, you hands anything that could have gotten a scratch. You were physically okay but mentally you didn’t feel so well. You haven’t been feeling 100% for some time now and you were getting suspicious 

“I’m not hurt but, I don’t feel well Zuko“ you said leaning your head on his shoulder “Can you help me to bed please?“ You ask him, he wraps an arm around you and helps you walk to the bed and lay down. Walking back to the door his guards wait for his order

“I want double the guards here tonight and tomorrow I need the royal healer here for Y/N“

“Yes Sir!“ he closes the door and walks back to your side of the bed. Kissing your head he watches over you through the night. For one, you might not feel well, and the other being of what just happened. It was going to be a very long night....

~~~

The next morning the healer came as asked and took some time to check up on you while Zuko got ready for the day. He had given you some medical tea blends and told you to get rest. Turns out you were pregnant. Now you needed a way to tell Zuko, and with all the stress he’s under you wouldn’t know how to react. You had just finished getting dressed when he had walked in 

“Y/N, I’m heading out into town to settle last nights incident. What did the healer say?“ he asked coming over to where you sat

“Well, it’s nothing to be worried about but, something that will change everything“ you said fiddling with the tips of your hair 

“Well?“ he urges you “Come on Y/N, if I hear you’re okay it’ll make my day better“ he offered a soft smile which he knew, you melted for. You said and take his hands into yours and look into his eyes

“I’m pregnant...“ his jaw went slack almost as if he were frozen in time. It scared you “Zuko...?“ anything, he could just make a sound but you needed to hear him say something. 

“I....I have to go. I’ll see you later.“ he said kissing your forehead and leaving without saying another word. You were, hurt. You didn’t blame him completely because expressing his emotions wasn’t exactly his forte. Instead while he was out you went to the other person you trusted the most.

Knocking softly on the entrance to the garden Iroh was sat drinking some tea. 

“Ah Y/N, good morning come have some tea. I heard Zuko went to town to settle some things“ he said as he poured you a cup “I’ve also heard you’ve got something on your hands“

You simply nod and take the tea he held out to you

“So, why don’t you tell me about it“ he said with a kind smile. Iroh was probably the wisest, kindest soul you knew.

~~~

Later that afternoon Zuko came back and if anything looked more tired than before. You had a hunch as to where he was but you were hoping it wasn't true. Walking to him you cup his chin with both your hands and make him look at you in the eye

“You need to relax more...“ you said running your thumb over the bags under his eyes “You’re going to be tired before the baby gets here..and stop visiting your father, it’s not good for you“

His larger hands come up to hold yours “I’ll try, and I’m sorry about before...I’m happy” he offered a soft smile 

“Are you really?“ you pout slightly making him peck your lips 

“Yes I am, I know I’m not the best person for a father or husband..”

“Zuko“ you bring his forehead to rest on yours “You are the best person to be my husband and the father of my children. I couldn’t want anyone else“

-

As time went on things only weighed in his shoulders more. You were probably the only thing that kept him sane. You were also starting to show, your baby was growing nicely and very restless as well. On days when Zuko would have trouble sleeping the baby would get restless leaving both of you tired. But he had figured it out, if he lays in bed with you and talks to your bump, the baby calms down.

“What do you think it’ll be Zuko?“ you asked 

“Hmm, I think it’s a girl. They refuse to listen, and gets upset when I don’t talk to it, I’d say it’s you any day“ you gently wack his shoulder causing you both to laugh “I don’t mind what they are, if they’re healthy and we can make them happy is all I care about“

“You’re going to be a great father Zuko“ you said kissing his forehead 

“But...what if-“

“I’m going to stop you ahead of time. You are NOTHING like that man and you will never be. You are the kindest, strongest, best man I have ever met and our baby is lucky enough to have you as a father” 

Yes, he was terrified to make the same mistake this father make the same mistake his father made. You knew him better than anyone and if he were half as back as his father, you wouldn’t be there at that moment.

~~~

By the time you were almost due it seemed as if war had never left. From Azula attacking once again, to disagreements and even almost a Fight with Aang. Things were heavy on his shoulders, he’s tightened security because of your baby. The last thing he wanted was for anything to happen to you both.

Finally a day where everything was being settled, calmly he felt some kind of relief. That was until a guard barged into the meeting room to announce you had gone into labor. The funny thing about Zuko is that he’s fast and for some reason no one sees him. As soon as people looked away from the door and back to Zuko, only his chair was in their sight.

“Do you think he left that fast when he heard you were alive?” Sokka asked as the room became quiet

Rushing to the healers room at the door he was told he wasn’t allowed inside.

“What do you mean?! My wife is giving birth to our baby and I need to be with her!” This was going to be an old rule he was going to get rid of...

“I-I apologize sir but it’s been a tradition for generations-“

“ZUKO!!” Next thing you knew one of the midwives came to the door and saw Zuko and said

“The lady wishes for you to be with her Fire Lord Zuko” she said timidly. It took him less than a second to trip of his cape and run to your side. This was it, the end of your pregnancy, labor, the day your baby would finally be in your arms. It was a very difficult day for you, she took all day to be born and finally when the moon was high in the sky she made her appearance. She was just perfect, and for a moment the world seemed so at peace.

“She looks like you“ you whisper to Zuko as you both gaze down and admire her 

“Yeah but, she’s beautiful like you“ he whispered back, he truly felt something he’s never felt. It was happiness, excitement, protectiveness, and everything in between. He doesn’t remember the last time he was this happy, this was the best day right next to your wedding day.

Just as you expected he really was a wonderful father. During the first few weeks he wanted you only on bed rest. At night he would help care for Izumi and calm her when she needed it. He was actually the one who taught her to walk. When Aang and the rest of your friends met her, he was secretly super proud and cocky about it. They couldn’t get over how much she looked like him and just how cute she was.

He also liked to have her sleep in the same bed as you guys while she was still young. When he couldn’t sleep he would just gaze at her and talk to her, even though she couldn’t answer back.

“..and you could be anything you want to be, and you could rule the kingdom your way. If you’re like your mother I know you’ll be a kind and smart ruler. You probably can’t understand me right now but, I love you and your mother so much“ you felt your hear swell while you pretended to be asleep. 

Although your favorite memory was him showing her how to bend when she first made a flame. She was around 6 when she first bended and he felt the flame of pride light in his chest. He showed her how to meditate and control it instead of training. He was always patient and gentle with her. It was very safe to say he was never the same as his father was with him.

Izumi and Zuko were nothing more than the center of your universe, the apples of your eye. And you knew it was the same for Zuko when he looked at you. 

*******************************************************

I hope this was okay!❤️

[bonny-kookoo]

Tiny Treasure Shorts: Bunny Tantrum ❤️☁️

Paining: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Genre: fluff, angst, hybrid!AU, hybrid!Reader, human!Jungkook

Tags/warnings: Kookers be ignoring his bunny, bits of angst, bunny has thoughts about him not wanting her anymore bless her heart, thumping, bunny behavior, kook be kinda dense ngl, god he’s frustrating, thoughts of abandonment, but nothing drastic lol

Summary: it’s one thing to have friends over. It’s another to ignore your little bunny when she’s right there. And it’s a huge thing to not even realize what you did wrong.

You like to think of yourself as not too clingy.

Of course, since he's your owner and you love him lots, you want to be close to him at all times if that was possible- but you also had a human brain, and common sense. Of course there were times you had to be alone. For example; whenever he's working, you always make sure to stay extra quiet. He needs to concentrate after all- so if you ever visit him in his makeshift office in his apartment, you tend to simply take a nap; the almost rhythmic typing sounds and gentle sighs here and there providing the perfect lullaby for you.

Jungkook likes to have you close during other times, however.

He has stated numerous times again and again that he would never think of you as clingy or that you were getting onto his nerves; more like the opposite. He enjoys having you follow him around the house, noticing how you watch him play video games, or have him talk to you about the most mundane of things. With Jungkook it never mattered if the conversation was deep and meaningful or not- simply exchanging some food for thought was enough.

And of course, he liked to keep you very close throughout the nights.

Now, at first, he had been a little worried. He's anything but a calm sleeper- he moves a lot and due to the size difference between the two of you, he was simply scared to roll you over at night. But eventually, the two of you had found a solution to it that satisfied you both equally. If he held you close during his sleep, he was less prone to shift and turn around as much. And at the same time, you got to cuddle him while sleeping. A win-win situation, really.

So why were you mad right now?

Well it was perfectly fine that he had his friends over. You understood that this was a rare occurance, and that you had only little to really input into the current game of CS:GO- hell, you barely learned the game mechanics yet. And it was fine that he only conversed with them, even after hours had passed.

What didn't sit right with you however was, when he had dismissed you when you had asked if you could go outside to get some snacks from the nearby grocery shop. It would've been okay if he had simply told you no. But that's not what he did; instead, he had waved you off like a bug flying too close to his face.

It felt demeaning, in a way. And it upset you.

And the worst was only to come. Because, naive as you were, you had at least thought that someone if not Jungkook himself would've heard you closing the bedroom door a little louder than usual.

But no one came. And you knew, in a way, the thoughts of him maybe really having gotten tired of your presence were nonsense; you knew for a fact that Jungkook loved you dearly. But that didn't help at all. Already, your brain had come up with scenes of you packing your bags, going back to Taehyungs place just to eventually occupy your old room at the shelter. It made your eyes sting- but you simple pulled your ears over them, as if to force yourself to shut them off.

Only after hours of you laying alone in the bedroom did Jungkook eventually join you in bed. As if nothing was off, he attempted to wrap his arms around you; but he got a reaction he never would've thought he'd get from you.

You pulled in your leg a little, just to kick out with a power that could only be described as anger. You were upset with him- visibly so. "Bunny?" He asked, genuinely confused by your behavior as he leaned over a little to catch a glimpse of your face. But you kicked out again, suddenly standing up before grabbing your blanket, and walking out towards the couch in the living room. It wouldn't provide a good nights rest- the couch way too drowned in too many scents by now, but it would do. You didn't want to be close to Jungkook right now, no matter the cost. "Bunny, no, whats wrong?" He asked, a slight whine to his voice as he squatted down close to your sitting form- your face turned away from him as your arms were crossed; entire body language showing him your stance of defense. "Can you tell me what's wrong?" He asks, and you huff. "Did I do something?" He dares to ask, and your foot hits the ground forcefully.

If you weren't so goddamn angry at him, he would've actually found the action cute.

"What did I do?" He asks, and again, your foot thumps the ground- tiny bunny tail wiggling in frustration as your ears are turned backwards. You're still not looking at him. "Bunny baby if you don't talk to me I can't-" He starts, but you don't let him finish.

"Oh, so now you want me to talk to you?" You ask bitterly, glossy eyes meeting his widely opened ones, and he genuinely hurts seeing the state you're in. You're clearly upset- and he really doesn't know what happened. "You didn't want my attention the entire day- so why now when everyone's gone? Am I like.. just a place-holder so you don't feel lonely?" You say, your voice breaking at the end because for some reason, saying it out loud actually makes you think about it more deeply. Because it seemed to actually make sense to you. Why else would he ignore you when his friends were over- but give his attention to you when you were alone with him? Were you just a toy for him?

"Baby no, no no no." He rambles out, and groans, as things suddenly click inside his brain. In hindsight he suddenly thinks about his actions more clearly- it makes sense that you're this distressed. After all, the way he had simply dismissed you like a fly unwanted had been uncalled for and absolutely stupid on his side. "I'm so sorry- I didn't mean to do that.." He states, a whine now clearly lacing his voice as you still huff only in frustration, a single kick to the floor showing that you were maybe calming down- but still not okay with his behavior. "Bunny baby.. don't be mad please.." He softly begs, kneeling in front of you so he can rest his hands on your knees- his chin on top of them to catch a glimpse of your face.

"Do you even want me here.?" You softly ask, almost scared of his honest answer. This time he doesn't reply right away- but stands up, to sit on the couch next to you. He pulls you close, uncaring that your leg kicks out, an annoyed whimper escaping you. He holds you tightly however, rubbing his nose over the skin from the side of your jaw down to your shoulder. The affectionate gesture soothes you immensly- and you hate your stupid instincts for doing that to you.

"I'll always want you." He says, voice nowhere near playful or whiny. He's honest, raw, and wants you to understand him. "You're my.. everything. What I did was uncalled for- and I'm truly sorry." He states. "I know it doesn't justify my actions, but this is all still super new to me too.. I'm not used to having someone around twenty-four-seven." He says. "And before you say anything, no, I WANT you close. I want you around all the time." He squeezes you a little tighter once he notices you relax in his arms. "I'm so grateful you're here. I'll better myself. Promise." He says, and you nod after a while, turning in his embrace.

"Koo?" You question tiredly, and he hums a reply. You close your eyes and lean your head on his shoulder as you speak your next words. "I'm tired." You say.

He chuckles. "Let's go to bed then?" He questions, and you nod.

"Will you make me pancake for breakfast?" You ask, as he picks you up, blanket and all, to carry you back into the bedroom.

"Anything you want, Bunny." He says, laying you down onto the mattress before climbing in as well, arms around your form as he sighs. "Anything you want.

[chiliiscereal]

Here’s your GIF for the writing challenge!

Prompt: “It’s not safe to be out here by yourself.”

Good luck and thanks for participating!💛

Thanks for letting me do this challenge again @crossbowking !

Pairing: father figure Daryl x reader AGAIN cause I’m a sucker for that lol

Setting: season 2

Type: fluff and angst I guess?

Summary: when looking for Sophia, Daryl finds reader holed up in a cabin. Reader doesn’t speak, doesn’t listen, and doesn’t trust them at all. No one can figure out why but reader sticks with them anyway. One day, Daryl follows reader when they sneak out of camp, hoping to find out what could possibly have happened to make them like that

——————-

Silent world

Sophia’s tracks had begun to fade like the afternoon sunlight. They had gotten faint but Daryl didn’t want to tell Carol the truth. Eventually they disappeared and he was only left with a direction.

He found a set of footsteps the size of Sophia’s about thirty minutes later. It had to be her. Judging by how they weren’t set in one specific direction, whoever it was must be lost.

He followed the footsteps to an old cabin. She had to be in there.

You, however, hadn’t realized you were followed until the door was opened. You felt the thumping of cautious footsteps on the floorboards and immediately jumped into action. You pulled yourself from the floor quickly and hid yourself beneath the dusty bed in the corner, dragging the blankets down to obscure you from their vision. If there was one thing you’d learned in this new world it was that you couldn’t trust people. Strangers, family, doesn’t matter.

“Sophia?” Daryl called out as he peered around the corner cautiously. He glanced about the room, taking in the living conditions.

Old food wrappers...

Empty water bottles...

A few blood stains...

An old backpack that CLEARLY wasn’t Sophia’s...

Whoever had been there it wasn’t Sophia. They’d been there longer than the girl had been lost.

He tightened his grip on his crossbow. “Whoever’s in here better come out now.” He ordered.

The only response was a slight shuffling noise from under the bed. If it had been Shane or Rick they wouldn’t have heard it. But Daryl had been hunting out in the woods since he was a child, trained in hearing the sounds of hiding creatures.

Whoever they were they were alive.

“Gonna hide forever?” He growled, raising the crossbow so it pointing at the bed.

Nothing.

He was absolutely tired of this person acting like their cover hadn’t been blown.

“Get out before I drag ya out myself.” He ordered, stepping closer.

Still nothing.

Finally, he had enough of it. He reached over and pulled the blanket away from the floor. He waited... thinking they’d come out.

No movement at all.

He grabbed the bed by its headboard and shoved it away from the wall, causing a small gasp to come from underneath it.

You were no longer in darkness.

You opened your wide eyes and backed up against the wall, chest heaving with panic.

This man looked dangerous to say the least.

Mean expression.

Weapon out and pointed at her face.

Knife hanging at his belt.

Suspicious blood stains on his shirt.

“You gotta be shittin’ me.” He groaned. “I go out lookin’ fer one kid and then I find a different one?”

You didn’t respond. You just watched him with wide eyes.

“Ya seen another girl ‘round here, kid?” He asked, trying to calm down.

Still nothing. You just pulled your legs closer and tried to press closer into the wall.

“Got a family?” He interrogated with a firmer tone. “A group? Parents? Hell, even a weapon?”

You watched him carefully. Almost too carefully in Daryl’s opinion. Once he’d finished you shook your head, eyes drifting back to the crossbow in his hand.

He hadn’t even realized it was still pointing at her. He lowered it but still kept the weapon in his grip. “The hell am I ‘sposed to do now?” He asked himself out loud. “Don’t need another mouth to feed.”

You didn’t offer any suggestions. All you did was stare.

After a moment he groaned, his morals speaking louder than the selfishness of a survivor. “Damn it. C’mon. Get up.” He waved you to follow after him.

You shook your head, backing away. You didn’t know this man! He could hurt you! Do bad things! No way in hell would you willingly go with him.

He frowned. “Can’t ya talk?”

Nothing.

Just wide eyes.

“Listen, I’m ‘bout to leave yer ass alone in the woods if ya don’t give me a good enough reason why ya can’t.” His temper began to flare. “Got a group, got food, got water, an’ other kids. Seems like a pretty good deal ta me.”

You seemed to react to the word ‘kids’. You sat up a bit and seemed to watch him with interest.

“Yeah. We got another kid at our camp.” He nodded. “It’s safe.” He swore he was about to leave right then when you said nothing.

You looked down at the floor, thinking. Was this a good idea? He could easily be lying. Very easily. He seemed to know exactly what to say. That was dangerous. Very dangerous.

But other kids... safety... and water... that was something you hadn’t seen in a good long while. Might as well give it a try, right? You could always run if things went south. You were good at that.

Needless to say, Daryl was surprised when you pulled yourself off the ground and picked up your bag. You gave him a wary look but followed him anyway.

“So, ya ever talk?” He asked as the two of you walked through the woods.

You didn’t answer. You just surveyed the woods carefully. He could have men out there waiting to jump you and do bad things. Or there could be walkers. You didn’t know.

Your racing thoughts were interrupted by a tap on your shoulder, flinching you out of your state of mind.

“Gonna answer me or what?” Daryl asked, getting more and more frustrated.

You just frowned at him, unsure of what he was saying. He was talking too fast for you to follow along with it.

“I asked if ya ever talk.” He shouldered his crossbow, no hope whatsoever in you answering.

All he got in return was a shrug.

“I’ll take that as a no.” He sighed. Whatever. At least he’d be able to walk to the farm in silence.

—————-

When they arrived everyone was confused on who you were or where you came from.

The people living in the farm house asked you many questions and you could only catch a few words here and there.

Where

Who

Name

Girl

Sophia

Seen

Group

Woods

You just stared at the floor, unsure of how to respond.

“Is there something wrong with her?” Maggie asked quietly. “She’s not answering anything.”

“Been like that since I found ‘er.” Daryl shrugged. “Ain’t sure ‘a her name, family, or if she even got anybody.”

“Where’d you find her?” Lori frowned. “Surely she has parents somewhere out there.”

Daryl wanted nothing more to leave and return to his tent. But he answered anyway. “Was in a cabin. By the looks ‘a it it’s just her.”

“Sweetie, can you tell us your name?” Lori bent down so she could see your face. “Or where your parents are?”

Your eyes didn’t leave the floor.

Lori sighed. “It’s almost as if she can’t hear me.”

“Or don’t want to.” Shane snorted, leaning against the wall. “Kid doesn’t seem too happy to be here. Probably just thinks ignorin’ us is gonna make us mad or some shit.”

“Damn right it’s makin’ me mad.” The hunter watched the kid in front of him. “Can’t tell if it’s on purpose.”

“I’ve heard ‘bout kids shutting down an’ not speak in’ when they’ve been through somethin’ traumatic.” Hershel informed the group. “It could be like what happened to Beth earlier, an’ it’ll just take some time for her to come around.”

That was the answer everyone seemed to settle on.

They gave you time as well as plenty of opportunities to talk to them. They tried asking questions or telling you things but you didn’t respond no matter how hard anyone tried.

Daryl began to suspect what the real case could be when you didn’t even respond when Shane yelled at you.

He’d been trying to hurry up the process by forcing you to talk. When he got no response he finally snapped.

You’d been reading a book Maggie let you borrow, unaware that anyone had been talking. But you caught on quickly when the book had been slapped from your hands.

You gasped and stumbled away, face to face with an angry Shane.

You weren’t close to anyone in the group so you ran to the person who had brought you there, hiding behind Daryl.

Daryl had been surprised. He didn’t think you liked anybody there at all. After all, you never talked to anybody. Never answered any questions. Being there for five days hadn’t changed anything.

“The hell’s yer problem man.” Daryl growled. “Ya always go ‘round tryin’ to scare kids or what?”

“It’s not my damn fault she won’t talk.” Shane yelled. “She’s gonna learn some respect if she wants to stay here.”

“Yellin’ at her won’t get ya any damn respect.” Daryl bit back. “Hershel said it’d take time, didn’t he?” He glanced down at you as you hid your face from the fight.

“It’s takin’ too much in my opinion.” Shane rolled his eyes and turned to walk away.

From that day on you steered clear of Shane and stayed by Daryl’s side. He wasn’t too sure why you’d chosen him out of everyone else and neither were you. But it seemed to be the right choice. The man never forced you to talk. He never yelled at you when you didn’t react.

It seemed like he simply enjoyed peace and quiet.

You helped around the farm house by washing dishes and feeding chickens. You helped Maggie and Lori make dinner and always helped them clean up after.

You picked flowers for Lori.

You showed Carl how to climb a tree.

You played cards with Glenn.

If Daryl didn’t know better he’d say that you were enjoying your stay at the farm.

But you still weren’t talking.

You interacted with everyone, yeah, but you still never spoke.

Not even when the farm fell.

—————

You and everyone had spent almost a month out in the woods once the farm was gone. You bounced from house to house and never stayed in one spot longer than needed.

One house you stayed at, you found a pair of small batteries. Even wire and tweezers. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to give you hope.

So that night you snuck out to the back yard once you were sure everyone was asleep.

But everyone wasn’t.

Daryl wasn’t.

He’d noticed the moment you disappeared.

He’d gotten up and walked outside, crossbow in hand. Maybe you’d ran away. Or got taken. Maybe you went outside and gotten lost.

But he found you leaning against a tree instead.

“It’s not safe to be out here by yourself.” Daryl stated, even though he knew you wouldn’t respond.

You did however react to feeling his footsteps vibrating the ground. Quickly, you stuffed whatever had been in your hands into your pockets and looked at him with wide eyes.

“Damn, kid, I ain’t gonna bite.” He held up his hands in surrender. “The hell ya doin out here?”

As always, you didn’t say anything. You looked back at the forest floor almost guiltily.

“Somethin’ wrong?” He frowned.

You knew you should tell him. He’d proven himself trustworthy after all. You just... you were scared you were wrong. That he’d be just like every other adult I. Your life.

“What’d ya have in yer hand before?” He tried, gesturing to whatever you’d stuffed in your pocket.

You tore your gaze away from him and reached down to pull out an object wrapped in cloth.

Daryl sat down beside you. “Can I see it?”

You held it a bit closer, brain still thinking in circles.

“I ain’t gonna break it or nothin’ if that’s what yer worried about.” He rolled his eyes.

Finally your mind was made. You set it down in his hands and waiting for his reaction.

Carefully, aware that you were watching his every movement, he unwrapped whatever it was.

He didn’t know what it was at first. It was almost as long as his smallest finger and was colored silver and tan. He realized what it was when he finally turned it over.

“Hearin’ aids?” He asked, turning to you.

You took a deep breath and nodded. “D-deaf.” You spoke, nerves at how he’d react making you stutter.

He jerked back a bit in surprise. “Ya been deaf this entire time?”

Another nervous nod.

“Damn, that’s impressive.” He gave you a sort of half grin. “How’d no one catch on? An’ why didn’t ya tell nobody?”

You reached into your pocket and pulled out a notebook, scribbling on a couple sentences. You showed him once you were done.

‘Lip reading. And I didn’t trust you.’

“But why didn’t ya talk like ya did now?” He frowned. “I wouldn’t ‘a known the difference.”

You wrote down more, hesitantly.

‘I’ve been told I sound stupid when I talk. So I don’t.’

You fiddled with your shoelace as he read.

“Who the hell told ya that?” He practically growled. “And why don’t ya know any ‘a that sign language?”

You took the notebook back and wrote down a few more sentences.

“And why don’t ya use the hearin’ aids?” He added.

You turned the book back to face him, only one word written.

‘Dad’

You felt ashamed to be admitting this. This wasn’t anything he needed to know. He would probably react the same way your dad reacted when he was given the opportunity.

“Hell no yer gonna explain more than that.” Daryl pushed the book back into your arms. “Can’t just half ass an answer.”

You sighed and began again.

‘He thought being deaf was a weakness. No sign language, no hearing aids, and no talking the moment my mom turned. He broke them when I broke the rules.’

You swallowed the emotions rising back up in the back of your throat.

He was a horrible man.

It was sickening, but you were almost glad that he was gone.

Daryl’s expression darkened when he read those words. “Sounds like an ass to me.” He handed the notebook back to you again. “So you tryin’ ya fix ‘em?”

You nodded and pulled out the batteries and wire, shrugging.

Daryl sighed. “Sorry, but that won’t be enough to fix these.” He examined the hearing aids once more. The wires were pulled apart and some of the plastic had snapped.

“... I know.” You managed to speak again, summoning your bravery. “Just wanted to try.”

Daryl’s expression didn’t change when you spoke. Maybe your dad was wrong. Maybe you didn’t sound as stupid as he told you you did.

Daryl handed the hearing aids back to you gently. “M’sorry kid.”

You shrugged again, placing them back in your pocket carefully.

Suddenly, Daryl had an idea. I’d require a run for sure but it’d be worth it. For now, he’d keep quiet about it. He didn’t even know if it’d work. But he might as well try.

——-

For the next few weeks on the road Daryl was on every run. You were curious about why but you dismissed it as him trying to make sure everyone would survive the coming winter.

By now, everyone knew you were deaf. They all reacted as Daryl had and treated you the same as they always did.

It was relieving to be honest. And a bit of a surprise. But the bigger surprise came later when Daryl told you he wanted to show everyone something in the woods.

You’d followed along, assuming he’d found more supplies.

Instead of revealing more supplies, he knelt down so he was at your level.

“I know it’s been hard without yer hearin’...” he started, reaching into his back pocket, “an’ I hope ya don’t mind I did this without askin’...” he pulled out an object wrapped in a familiar cloth.

You realized what was happening the moment you saw it.

“I gave it my best shot.” He pulled away the fabric and revealed the newly repaired hearing aids. “Found a book an’ some supplies on the last run.”

You hadn’t even realized tears were running down your face until they dropped onto your shirt.

Daryl reaches over and placed the hearing aids in your hands. “Give ‘em a try?”

You glanced at the faces of your new group. They must have known. Not a single one of them looked surprised. Just expectant and...happy. Happy for you.

Slowly, you tucked your hair out of your way. You set the small machine in place. You placed your hand over the on button tentatively.

The Hunter you’d grown attached to gave you a nod.

Finally, you pressed the button.

You waited and held your breath.

It was as if everything came crashing in at once.

The wind that rushed through the trees was giving out hollow rattling noises.

The birds above were chirping shrilly, each whistle harmoniously fitting together like a puzzle.

And you... you could hear yourself gasping in surprise as you spun in circles. You could hear the leaves crunching beneath your feet. Did that always happen?

“I’ll take it that it works?” Your thought were interrupted by a raspy southern accent.

You spun around, facing Daryl once more.

He stood back up, tip of his mouth tipped up in a half smile.

You couldn’t speak.

You couldn’t even thank him with your words.

So you thanked him the only way you knew how: with actions.

You wasted no time in running in his direction, more tearing spilling down your face as you wrapped your arms around the surprised man.

He returned the gesture after a moment of hesitation. “Wasn’t no problem.”

You buried you face in his shoulder, overcome with emotion. “Thank you thank you thank you thank you!”

He rubbed your back comfortingly. “Was nothin’.”

You shook you head and hugged him harder. “No, it was everything.”

[limitlessgojo]

Blood Bound: Red Strings of Fate (Ch 13)

Warnings: Action, Coarse Language, Fighting, Descriptions of Blood

Previous Chapter: Goldenrod

Next Chapter: The More You Know

Next SFW Chapter: Big White Lies

Tags: Soulmates AU, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Fem!Reader

Taglist: @lessie-oxj @rizzo-nero @whoreuc @fkngkumiko @isl3t @gojoussunglasses @onepotatostand-blog @s-t-f-u-b-i-t-c-h @sunaswife @lordguameow @track5enthusiast

Notes: If you want to be tagged for every update, specify if you're okay with nsfw posts or not, and please mention it in the comments below ty ❤

Chapter 13: Home Sweet Home

That weekend you went back home. It was so refreshing to see everyone. You yelped out with joy as you ran over to your cousin “Hiroki niichaaaan~” You jumped into his arms.

He hugged you tight. “How have you been doin lil sis?”

“Very good! I missed you all so much, especially you Hiroki nii." You pouted up at him.

You caught up with your family, had meals with them, and trained with Hiroki. They were most curious about your soulmate, as you have expected.

“What’s he like? Aren’t people from the big 3 clans so stuck up all the time? Even Satoru is full of himself at times, ey?”, Hiroki asked you with a mouthful of food.

“He isn’t too bad to be honest. He’s a gentleman and sweet with me. Decent man. Just, seems a bit like the private type? I mean… Doesn’t talk much about his family even though we are soulmates. Oh I’ve already talked to him about you guys.” You added.

Hiroki tilted his head, “Ehhh… mysterious huh.”

“Give him time. The Kamo Clan aren’t the most open minded people. They’ll feel you out before allowing you in.” Your dad said.

“Even though I’m his soulmate?!” You exclaimed.

Silence. “We don’t know what they’re thinking so we can’t say for sure.”

◇◇◇

“Heh, you’ve gotten better lil sis,” Hiroki dropped low and thrusted out his spear. You jumped and immediately shifted your stance to land a kick on him. He easily parried and slipped out of your range.

Your family specializes in dealing with reverse cursed techniques aside from the occasional esper. Hiroki was only a semi-grade 1, because he trained his ass off for years.

Now that he’s built, he uses cursed tools to help him fight. A strong 185cm man can definitely handle close combat well. And in terms of healing abilities, he was number 1 in the clan.

It was only the women in your family that were able to inherit psychokinesis for some reason. But usually it only applies to a specific thing. Like how your mom can control plants. And your other aunt does with small metallic items like coins and darts.

Mother approached you after your sparring session. "Does he make you happy my dear?" Your mother asked you. Hiroki drank quietly from his water bottle.

You thought about it. The past few months were not easy but really colorful with Noritoshi. Minus the nagging feeling of him covering up his family affairs from you.

But… "He does. I feel so safe with him ma. Like I do with all of you. He is family to me now. I think I really like him and I trust him with my life." You whispered out.

"Then next time, bring him here. We will gladly welcome him with open arms." Hiroki smiled at you and leaned into your side.

◇◇◇

You went to visit your dead older sister’s grave just before you went back to Kyoto Jujutsu High School.

It was just you and Hiroki. You both cleaned the grave, trimmed the weeds, changed the flowers, burned fresh incense, and said your prayers for Sora. It was such a clear day with barely any clouds. The sky was so blue.

Just like her namesake.

Hiroki left you to give you some privacy, saying that he’ll pick you up in 2 hours.

You took a deep breath. “Sora neechan. It’s been a while. Sorry I couldn’t come to see you as often, because I’m currently a student at Jujutsu High.”

“I met this guy. He … So he is my soulmate. The first time I met him, I thought he was pretty. As I got to know him more, I felt as if there was a reason as to why the heavens chose him for me you know? He is really cool, but so warm and sweet with me. I think I’m a little bit in love with him.” You admitted.

“I’m really scared to lose him. After I lost you, I just… it was hard… I try my best to be cheerful and helpful really. But it gets tiring at times. I’m glad I was able to make a lot of friends who understand the life of a Jujutsu sorcerer at least. I tried to open up to Noritoshi a bit more. But it’s hard because he seems so closed off at times.”

You had mixed feelings, because you promised Noritoshi you would trust him more. That means working on anything that bothers you regarding your relationship with him. But can he accept it if you tell him that you want to know more about his family? He already clearly stated he needs more time.

“Am I being too greedy and hasty Sora? I want to support his clan affairs, even if it's just a tiny bit as his soulmate. He seems so troubled with it all the time. Like he wants to carry the burden all alone. I want to help, but he doesn’t really let me. I don’t know. I wish you were still here with me.”

“Last time I asked him about his parents, he snapped at me. Of course he apologized. … Maybe it’s all just in my head. But I do want to meet his family. Eventually. Though at this rate I have no idea when. Everytime I ask about them he just shuts up.”

“Falling in love is way too hard….”

The wind blew as if to agree with you. The leaves rusted in a circular dance just around the grave. You smiled.

You bid farewell to your family after the weekend. Hiroki hugged you tight and whispered, “I hope it gets better for you and Kamo kun soon enough.”

You looked up at him, “Yeah, thanks bro.”

◇◇◇

You texted Noritoshi and let him know that you were on your way back. He said he was free for the evening and that you could come over to his room.

You knocked on his door with anticipation. You opened the door, “I'm back, Toshi!” He pulled you into a tight hug and closed the door behind you. “I missed you. Come in. How was your family? Sorry I couldn’t go with you again.”

“It’s fine! They’re all okay and excited to meet you next time.” You looked up at him. He looked a bit regretful, “Next time I’ll make sure to properly clear my schedule with my father so I can go meet them okay?”

“Ah, okay.” You both walked over to his table and knelt down on the floor.

“I’ve been wanting to tell you this for a while,” you started. Noritoshi looked on intently. “I’ve already told you about my family right? Mom and dad and my other male cousins. Ah, what I didn’t tell you before was… I used to have an older sister. I - uhm. Well she died after being attacked by a curse. I … I hope to bring you to her grave one day.”

Noritoshi’s heart dropped. He pulled you in close. “I’m so sorry to hear that. I’m sure she is proud of you. Of course I’ll go with you to see her next time.” He was now highly regretting choosing to do some useless tasks for some of his clan’s elders instead of spending the weekend with you.

You gripped his clothes tighter. “Thank you, that really really means a lot to me.” You started tearing up, but you blinked your tears away.

"Oh! My family and I have gifts for you. I'm not so sure if you'll like it. It's a Coral and gold bracelet. Everyone in my family has one. It's almost like tradition for us, and we believe it to have a layer of protection. I also brought Jade here for you." You presented the bracelet alongside the Dragon carved Jade Pendant hanging on a thick white gold chain.

Noritoshi's eyes widened. The jewelry was stunning and looked expensive. He may have been favoured as the heir to the Kamo clan, but even he didn't own so much expensive jewelry.

He sputtered out “I appreciate it but I can’t take something so expensive and precious-”

“Noritoshiiii,” you whined out loud, making him stop talking. “You don’t want to accept such a precious gift that I picked out for you?” you whined with the largest puppy eyes.

“No, I- I am grateful. Thank you, I’ll accept it.” Noritoshi conceded.

Got him. You grinned madly as he shook his head. “You’re a dangerous one,” he muttered under his breath. “What was that?” you asked him absentmindedly as you worked on unclasping the bracelet to put it around his wrist. “Nothing, nothing at all dearest.”

You narrowed your eyes at him before grabbing his wrist and putting it on for him. It was a perfect fit. You thanked yourself for loving to hold his hand so much that you knew his general hand measurements.

His hands down to his wrists were so pretty. You didn't realize that you were playing with and smiling down at his fingers until he opened up his hand and linked his fingers with yours.

Slowly, carefully. Falling in love with you was the easiest thing Noritoshi had experienced. Now that he had embraced his emotions and tried to open up to you, it was a bit better now.

'Is this what love is? I don't know since it's my first time experiencing it.' Noritoshi wondered to himself.

It was in the smallest of things with you. He loved the way you would call out his name with loving eyes. The way you would always greet him first before the other senpai. The way you give him coffee and kisses on late and cold nights of studying.

The way your hair smells. Your perfume. The way your eyelids flutter shut when he kisses you. The tightening of his chest and shortness of his breath made apparent whenever he was with you.

The way you don't ask for too much from him. Just that he shows his love to you either by his actions or words. The comfort he simply feels when he is beside you.

He really just needed some time, and seeing you around more often really made up for it.

He ticked the inside of your palm which made you shiver and yelp. He laughed out loud at this and pulled you into his lap, hugging you tightly.

Staying quiet, you buried your head in his chest. You could feel his heartbeat, and it was faster than you expected. But soon it went back down to a steady rate.

"Your heartbeat is so steady, but mine is always wild around you. Noritoshi I feel kinda embarrassed to be honest." You admitted, fingers curling into his kimono.

He smiled and his heartbeat quickened to match yours. You looked up at him in confusion. "Did you just…" He just leaned down to rub his nose against yours. "I am a blood manipulator. I can manipulate my pulse rate darling." You huffed out a laugh, feeling warm and fuzzy.

"I love you." You said suddenly. He stared in shock at your words. You realized that you said it without intending to. But you didn’t take it back.

"Kamo Noritoshi I'm madly in love with you." It wasn't a sudden realisation of being in love. You slowly fell for him again and again each day.

Noritoshi’s brain short circuited.

Suddenly he was kissing you. Tongue slipping into your mouth and playing with yours and rubbing along the roof of your mouth.

You tried to fight his tongue for dominance, but you ended up surrendering, your back bent back with your face turned up towards him.

You clasped your hands around his neck as he pressed deep kisses against the top of your chest. Your face was flushed as you fell limp against him, gasping out heavy breaths. "I'm not going anywhere angel." Noritoshi whispered against your neck, hands tightening possessively against your waist.

‘Please wait a little longer for me. Until I can confirm that these feelings for you are indeed true love.’ His thoughts went unsaid.

The one thing Noritoshi promised to himself is that he would never lie about his feelings for you. To him, the worst he could do was to confess his love without actually being in love with you.

Blood Bound: Table of Contents

[books-letstalkaboutem]

The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue Quotes that I Loved

This is just a list of quotes or excerpts that I highlighted while reading the book- literally all of them and there are a lot. I’m going to go ahead and say spoilers below just because there are so many quotes and while I don’t think the quotes actually spoil anything, I don’t want to accidentally spoil something for someone.

Some of the quotes might seem a little weird out of context but these are quotes that hit close to home, made me say “Hell, yeah, Addie!!!", quotes that made me laugh, and then basically all of the other quotes that I loved while reading.

I know that I didn't completely fall in love with this book like so many other people did, but it was still so beautifully written and there were so many amazing quotes in this book.

And just a heads up, I read this on my kindle, just in case the page numbers I list don’t match with your copy of the book.

Spoilers Below:

Quotes that Hit Close to Home

“Three and twenty, a third of a life already buried.” Page 39

“The day passes like a sentence. The sun falls like a scythe.” Page 41

“[...] and when she dies it will be as though she never lived.” Page 42

“I am so tired of not having choices, so scared of the years rushing past beneath my feet. I do not want to die as I’ve lived, which is no life at all. I—” Page 46

“[...] she swears sometimes her memory runs forward as well as back, unspooling to show the roads she’ll never get to travel. But that way lies madness, and she has learned not to follow.” Page 61

“His parents meant well, of course, but they always told him things like Cheer up, or It will get better, or worse, It’s not that bad, which is easy to say when you’ve never had a day of rain.” Page 97

“But then a night would go long, and a day would start late, and now he feels like there’s no time at all. Like he is always late for something.” Page 119

““I see someone who cares,” she says slowly. “Perhaps too much. Who feels too much. I see someone lost, and hungry. The kind of person who feels like they’re wasting away in a world full of food, because they can’t decide what they want.”” Page 140

““Life is so brief, and every night in Rennes I’d go to bed, and lie awake, and think, there is another day behind me, and who knows how few ahead.”” Page 167

““I mean feeling like it’s surging by so fast, and you try to reach out and grab it, you try to hold on, but it just keeps rushing away. And every second, there’s a little less time, and a little less air, and sometimes when I’m sitting still, I start to think about it, and when I think about it, I can’t breathe. I have to get up. I have to move.”” Page 177

““Small places make for small lives. And some people are fine with that. They like knowing where to put their feet. But if you only walk in other people’s steps, you cannot make your own way. You cannot leave a mark.”” Page 179

“It was such a lovely jar she had kept them in. But the glass is cracking now. The water leaking through.” Page 215

“Moments of joy register as brief, but ecstatic. Moments of pain stretch long and unbearably loud.” Page 225

“[...] you’ve never felt called to any one thing. There is no violent push in one direction, but a softer nudge a hundred different ways, and now all of them feel out of reach. Page 226

“[...] in wanting to live, to learn, to find yourself, you’ve gotten lost.” Page 226

“He lets it ring, holds his breath until it stops. He tells himself that if they call again, he’ll answer. If they call again, he’ll tell them he is not okay. But the phone doesn’t ring a second time.” Page 229

“He misses the structure, misses the path, misses the purpose. And maybe it wasn’t a perfect fit, but nothing is.” Page 257

“That he’d blinked and somehow years had gone by, and everyone else had carved their trenches, paved their paths, and he was still standing in a field, uncertain where to dig.” Page 283

“And those first two years, he was happy. He had Bea, and Robbie, and all he had to do was learn. Build a foundation. It was the house, the one that he was supposed to build on top of that smooth surface, that was the problem. It was just so … permanent.” 283

“Choosing a class became choosing a discipline, and choosing a discipline became choosing a career, and choosing a career became choosing a life, and how was anyone supposed to do that, when you only had one?” Page 283

““The vexing thing about time,” he says, “is that it’s never enough. Perhaps a decade too short, perhaps a moment. But a life always ends too soon.”” Page 333

“He is all restless energy, and urgent need, and there isn’t enough time, and he knows of course that there will never be. That time always ends a second before you’re ready. That life is the minutes you want minus one.” Page 421

“The world is wide, and he’s seen so little of it with his own eyes. He wants to travel, to take photos, listen to other people’s stories, maybe make some of his own. After all, life seems very long sometimes, but he knows it will go so fast, and he doesn’t want to miss a moment.” Page 438

Quotes that Made Me Laugh

“Henry loves his sister, he does. But Muriel’s always been like strong perfume. Better in small doses. And at a distance.” Page 120

““Sorry, Book,” she mutters, lifting the cat gingerly onto the back of the old chair, where he does his best impression of an inconvenienced bread loaf.” Page 248

““It’s Halloween!” defends Robbie. “It’s the twenty-third,” says Henry, but Robbie treats holidays the way he treats birthdays, stretching them from days into weeks, and sometimes into seasons.” Page 274

Quotes that made me say “Hell, yeah, Addie!!!”

“If she must grow roots, she would rather be left to flourish wild instead of pruned, would rather stand alone, allowed to grow beneath the open sky. Better that than firewood, cut down just to burn in someone else’s hearth.” Page 31

“[...]from this moment forward, her life will be her own.” Page 48

“There is a defiance in being a dreamer.” Page 117

““It has only been two years,” she says. “Think of all the time I have, and all the things I’ll see.”” Page 132

“It will take time, but time is the one thing Addie has plenty of. So she opens her eyes, and starts again.” Page 192

“But then Addie straightens, lifts her chin, smiles with an almost defiant kind of joy. “But isn’t it wonderful,” she says, “to be an idea?”” Page 261

Quotes that I Love

“[...] never pray to the gods that answer after dark.” Page 7

“What is a person, if not the marks they leave behind?” Page 15

“The things that last, even when memories don’t.” Page 16

“As if you couldn’t like one place and want to see another.” Page 23

“Books, she has found, are a way to live a thousand lives—or to find strength in a very long one.” Page 35

“The kind of place where time slips and blurs, where a month, a year, a life can go missing.” Page 39

“[...] attraction can look an awful lot like recognition in the wrong light.” Page 56

“The rise isn’t worth the fall.” Page 56

“Being trapped, buried alive, these are the things that scare you when you cannot die.” Page 57

“Funny, how some people take an age to warm, and others simply walk into every room as if it’s home.” Page 58

“Déjà vu. Déjà su. Déjà vécu. Already seen. Already known. Already lived.” Page 66

“[...]a lifetime of knowing brushed away like a tear.” Page 73

“[...] and it is sad, of course, to forget. But it is a lonely thing, to be forgotten. To remember when no one else does.” Page 77

“[...] ideas are so much wilder than memories, that they long and look for ways of taking root.” Page 77

““These days, everyone’s looking down,” muses Sam. “It’s nice to see someone looking up.”” Page 101

“Being forgotten, she thinks, is a bit like going mad. You begin to wonder what is real, if you are real. After all, how can a thing be real if it cannot be remembered?” Page 103

“If a person cannot leave a mark, do they exist?” Page 103

“Dreamer is too soft a word. It conjures thoughts of silken sleep, of lazy days in fields of tall grass, of charcoal smudges on soft parchment.” Page 11

“She considers the cut of their clothes, the absence of bone stays or bustled skirts, and thinks, not for the first time, and certainly not for the last, how much simpler it would be to be a man, how easily they move through the world, and at such little cost.” Page 129

““I remember you.”” Page 135

“The darkness claimed he’d given her freedom, but really, there is no such thing for a woman, not in a world where they are bound up inside their clothes, and sealed inside their homes, a world where only men are given leave to roam.” Page 163

“She watches these men and wonders anew at how open the world is to them, how easy the thresholds.” Page 165

““I think there are many ways to matter.”” Page 179

“But ideas are so much wilder than memories, so much faster to take root.”” Page 210

“He is full of roots, while she has only branches.” Page 212

“Easy to stay on the path when the road is straight and the steps are numbered.” Page 229

“Outside the window, the day just carries on as if nothing’s changed, but it feels like everything has, because Addie LaRue is immortal, and Henry Strauss is damned.” Page 235

“[...]I didn’t want to live forever. I just wanted to live.”” Page 236

““There’s this family photo,” he says, “not the one in the hall, this other one, from back when I was six or seven. That day was awful. Muriel put gum in David’s book and I had a cold, and my parents were fighting right up until the flash went off. And in the photo, we all look so … happy. I remember seeing that picture and realizing that photographs weren’t real. There’s no context, just the illusion that you’re showing a snapshot of a life, but life isn’t snapshots, it’s fluid. So photos are like fictions. I loved that about them. Everyone thinks photography is truth, but it’s just a very convincing lie.”” Page 239

“God, it feels good to be wanted.” Page 256

“[...] And ideas are wilder than memories. They’re like weeds, always finding their way up.”” Page 261

“Homesick—Henry knows that one is supposed to mean sick for home, not from it, but it still feels right.” Page 262

“Dressing up, he thinks, is just like watching cartoons, something you enjoyed as a kid, before it passes through the no man’s land of teen angst, the ironic age of early twenties. And then somehow, miraculously, it crosses back into the realm of the genuine, the nostalgic. A place reserved for wonder.” Page 274

“Bea always says returning to campus is like coming home. But it doesn’t feel that way to Henry. Then again, he never felt at home at home, only a vague sense of dread, the eggshell-laden walk of someone constantly in danger of disappointing.” 282

“He doesn’t know what he believes, hasn’t for a long time, but it’s hard to entirely discount the presence of a higher power when he recently sold his soul to a lower one.” Page 284

““You can’t make people love you, Hen. If it’s not a choice, it isn’t real.”” Page 290

“He has asked the wrong god for the wrong thing, and now he is enough because he is nothing. He is perfect, because he isn’t there.” Page 290

“A life reduced to a block of stone, a patch of grass.” Page 299

“The present folding on top of the past instead of erasing it, replacing it.” Page 306

“She knows the paint will fade, rinsed off by a puddle, or simply wiped away by time, but that’s how memories are supposed to work. There—and then, little by little, gone.” Page 307

“Without the bells, the organ, the bodies crowding in for services, the church feels abandoned. Less a house of worship and more a tomb.” Page 311

“God is so large, why build walls to hold Him in?” Page 311

“Once you know about a thing, you start to see it everywhere. Someone says the words purple elephant, and all of a sudden, you catch sight of them in shop windows and on T-shirts, stuffed animals and billboards, and you wonder how you never noticed.” Page 314

“There is a freedom, after all, in being forgotten.” 325

“Memories are stiff, but thoughts are freer things. They throw out roots, they spread and tangle, and come untethered from their source. They are clever, and stubborn, and perhaps—perhaps—they are in reach.” Page 327

“They’ve been lucky, so lucky, but the trouble with luck is that it always ends.” 329

““You said it yourself, Luc. Ideas are wilder than memories. And I can be wild. I can be stubborn as the weeds, and you will not root me out. And I think you are glad of it. I think that’s why you’ve come, because you are lonely, too.”” Page 332

“She closes her eyes, reminds herself there are many ways to leave a mark, reminds herself that pictures lie.” Page 337

“She may not feel the years weakening her bones, her body going brittle with age, but the weariness is a physical thing, like rot, inside her soul. There are days when she mourns the prospect of another year, another decade, another century. There are nights when she cannot sleep, moments when she lies awake and dreams of dying. But then she wakes, and sees the pink and orange dawn against the clouds, or hears the lament of a lone fiddle, the music and the melody, and remembers there is such beauty in the world. And she does not want to miss it— any of it.” Page 342

“Luc’s smile darkens. “Because time is cruel to all, and crueler still to artists. Because vision weakens, and voices wither, and talent fades.” He leans close, twists a lock of her hair around one finger. “Because happiness is brief, and history is lasting, and in the end,” he says, “everyone wants to be remembered.”” Page 351

“It is a sign, when even gods and devils dread a fight.” Page 367

“And this, he decides, is what a good-bye should be. Not a period, but an ellipsis, a statement trailing off, until someone is there to pick it up. It is a door left open. It is drifting off to sleep.” Page 419

[miscellaneous-bnha]

Maybe it’s just me, but I’ve been having this god awful itch for (lowkey) Yandere Scumbag Hawks.

Could be friends to lovers... if you squint? Slow burn? But not really? Uh....

Female! Reader

TW: Scumbag Hawks, Lowkey Yan, Breeding, Dubious consent, Hawks in a rut, Hawks has a knot simply because I deem it so.

You, a normal civilian, happen to stumble across a weakened pro hero Hawks who took an emergency landing on your apartment patio.

Of course you’re not going to leave him there; as warm as his coat may seem, what’s the point of leaving him out in the snow when you’ve got a nicely heated apartment you could let him in to.

Either he’s gone through some seriously rough shit or he’s a lot more out of it than you think, but he nearly scares the piss out of you when he points a feather blade at you, eyes wild and furious, before slowly registering that you’re just a normal civilian.

He grins— it’s more of a grimace than a grin, really— and moves the blade away from you, laughing sheepishly before breaking into a cough. When he moves his hand away, you can tell there’s blood on it.

“Sorry about that, pretty bird. Wasn’t expecting anyone. I’ll be taking off now.” He tries to climb to his feet, but he’s a lot more battered than he’s willing to show.

“Wait! Why don’t you come inside for a bit? Get some energy back before you go flying off to some other balcony.” You offer, and he smiles wryly.

“Would that be alright? I don’t want you to feel like you have to.”

“Of course! Come in, come in!” You usher him in as he limps, helping him to the couch before going and shutting the patio door.

It turns out he ended up needing to stay a lot longer than either of you originally planned; a surprised snowstorm hit late into the night, forecasted to last for some days. He said that he could always try to brave it if you felt uncomfortable with a “strange man” in your apartment, but you only laughed it off.

“Honestly, with how often your private life gets invaded, you’re by far one of the least strange people.”

——————————

He ends up having to stay three days before the storm calms down, but he’s gotten significantly better since then.

Originally, you were worried about the blood in his cough, but it turned out to be a side effect of the blistering cold winds being harsh on his throat and a rough hit to the chest that left him winded and coughing, but nothing more.

The three days he did stay were rather enjoyable, and you found yourself missing his company when he had gone.

You didn’t think much of it though; he’s a pro-hero with an image to upkeep, so you doubted that you’d see much of him personally after this.

But ever the surprise, you found him knocking on your patio door not even a day later, grinning and holding up a bag of food.

“Thought it would be nice to at least return the favor. For taking care of me, y’know?”

“You don’t have to worry about that, Hawks. I did it because it was the right thing to do.”

“Eeeeh, still. Maybe I just wanted an excuse to see a pretty bird again.”

——————————

And just like that, you came to have an unexpected friendship with the No. 2 pro hero.

Whenever he needed a quiet place to crash or some company, you found yourself leaving the patio door open.

In turn, if you ever felt unsafe or if you had a bad day at work, a simple brush of the feather he’d given to you was all it would take to send him flying your way.

Monthly visits turned into bi weekly visits, then into weekly visits, then every other day. Soon enough, he started coming every evening. “What’s a meal without good company?” He’d said, holding food in one hand and drinks in the other.

“All that fried chicken isn’t good for you, Hawks. Let me cook you some actual food every once in a while.”

——————————

When he had suddenly disappeared for a week, you were concerned, but didn’t want to push him. Then two weeks went by with no Hawks, and you started to get worried.

When the third week rolled around, you unconsciously gripped the feather that hung around your neck, screaming in shock when there was a sudden **”THUD”** against the patio window.

“Hawks!? What are you doing?!” You try and check his face for bruising or bleeding, but he tried to bat at your hands weakly,

“I’m okay, I’m okay. Felt you touch your feather, so I came.” You wince,

“I’m sorry about that. It was an accident.”

“Ah, no worries. I’ll just head back home then.”

You fully intended on letting him go, but your mouth tended to work faster than your brain sometimes.

“Um, actually, Hawks...” you start, only to freeze when he faces you,

“Yeah?” You’re silent for a moment, then you shake your head,

“No, it’s nothing. Sorry.” You smile, but he doesn’t turn to leave again,

“Nah, I think there’s something on your mind. What is it?”

“... I just wanted to make sure I didn’t... offend you, or something. You’ve been gone for a while and I just...” you shuffle a bit, “I mean, it’s not really that big of a deal either, y’know? I just— heh— If you’re just tired of coming around all the time, that’s cool too.”

He looks baffled for a moment, then the realization crosses his face. You think for a moment you see him trying to plot something, but it’s gone before you can think on it.

“I um.... actually... do you mind if I sit?”

“Of course not. Feel free to do what you like.”

He takes a seat on the couch, his wings ruffling and fluffing up before they settle again. A part of you wonders if you really should have looked up bird behaviors.

“I.. started my rut, but I didn’t think it was possible.” And suddenly you start to feel a little stupid.

“O-oh... I— uh— I’m sorry.” He wheezes out a laugh,

“No, no, it’s fine. I should have said something instead of just disappearing.”

“Well, I mean, that’s your private matter so—“

“Technically yes, but... also, you have a right to know. You are the reason I went into a rut, after all.” Your jaw drops for a moment.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Not to say that I’m trying to blame you— I’m really not. It’s just... you know how you’re always cooking meals, letting me in?”

“Y...yeah?”

“My body thought I was trying to nest, so... it put me into a rut.”

“Ah... I see.”

You both sit awkwardly for a moment, so he stands and moves to leave.

“Anyway, sorry about that. If it makes you uncomfortable, I won’t come around anymore.”

“I, well, no. Wait!” You grab his arm as he tries to leave, making him halt,

“If... if it’s my fault, I want to help.”

“I, uh, w-well... it’s not— I— you know we’d have to fuck, right?”

You’re both bright red, you more than him, but you nod wordlessly.

“Well... so long as you’re willing to take responsibility...” he mutters. You’re too busy looking at your feet to see the wild grin on his face,

—————————

“Fuck, Hawks!” You yelp, his cock plunging in and out of you roughly,

“Shit, sorry baby bird...! Your pretty little cunt’s just sucking me in!” He growls, his hands pinning your shoulders down.

You’re stuck with your face in the mattress, ass in the air. With him looming over you, feathers spread across your room, shuddering in time with his wings, the only think you can hear is the wet slaps of his hips smacking into yours.

“Hawks...! You gotta slow down...!”

“I’m trying, but your greedy little pussy won’t let me go!”

You whine, head fogging over when his cock somehow manages to push deeper.

“See? You’re just sucking me in, baby!”

You feel the brush of more feathers falling onto you, shivering and tickling your already overheated skin. His claws dig into your shoulders when you twitch, making you borderline scream and clench tightly around his cock.

“Ooooh fuckfuckfuckfuck fffffUCK! Keep squeezing just like that, pretty bird. Tighten around my fat fucken cock!” You feel him drape himself over you, his chest pressed to your back, wings closing around the both of you as much as they can.

You suddenly feel something stretching and tugging at your entrance, and you start to squirm again.

“W-wait! You promised to pull out...!”

“How am I supposed to pull out when you’re the one squeezing so tight??” He growls, thrusts getting more frantic,

“Hawks!”

“Ffffffuck— just shut up and take it. Take my fucking cum—!”

You cry out sharply when his knot fully inflates inside of you, the sudden stretch sending you flying over the edge with him.

“Hawks...”

“Shhh.... this is all your fault, remember?”

“But you promised—“

“And I tried, but your cute little cunt just wouldn’t let go, pretty bird. You were practically begging for me to fill you up. Get you pregnant with my little chickadees.” He rubs your belly,

“But that’s okay, right? You said you wanted to take responsibility, remember?”

“Yeah—“

“Then take responsibility, baby. Have my chicks, and I promise I’ll take responsibility too.” The words to argue back are stripped from your mouth when he starts grinding his still knotted cock into you, making your mind go blank,

“C’mon, pretty bird. Say it for me. ‘I’ll have your chicks, Keigo’.”

“Ha—“

“Uh-uh. Not Hawks. Keigo.”

“Kei—!” Your voice cuts off into a silent scream when he hits the sweet spot deep inside you,

“C’mon, baby. Say it and be mine.”

—————————

You don’t remember if you ever actually said it all those years ago, but you can hardly bring yourself to care.

You smile as you rub your swollen belly, watching as your eldest son and his little sister play in the yard.

“C’mon, kids. Time to go back in. Daddy will be home soon.”

“Okay!!”

And, sure enough, not even 10 minutes later, you hear the front door open, the voice of your husband echoing through the house.

“Where are my little chickadees?”

[erinsuselessopinions]

How the Celtic/Welsh Myth of Blodeuwedd will act as an online for Elain's romantic plot in ACOTAR 5(or 6 if that's how you roll)

Hi,

I don't really know how to use Tumblr so we'll see how this goes...

So I was scrolling through the ACOTAR Pinterest board recently (like I always do once a month😂) and noticed a lot of pins that are of females surrounded by flowers with animals around them. However, one in particular caught my eye.

This pin is of the Welsh Goddess Blodeuwedd and the note for it says Elain.

So naturally, with me being being the mythology nerd that I am, I did some more research into the myth as I only knew the basics. Doing so, I found many similarities between Blodeuwedd and Elain as well as what could act as a potential outline for her love story.

The Story of Blodeuwedd

Lleu was the abandoned son of the god Arianrhod. His story with Blodeuwedd also talks about his struggle to kingship. Arianrhod tried to stop Lleu from gaining his kingship in order to prevent shame being brought upon her due to his companions. He would not receive a name unless it was from her. He would not receive his arms, unless from her. As well as that, he could never marry a mortal woman. Ultimately, unless it be through her own auspices (meaning: approval, support, control), he would never become king.

Lleu was giver some magik in order to ensure that he would live long enough to gain his kingship. The magik made it so that Lleu could only die from the most outrages and out there situations. Arianrhod was tricked into giving Lleu his name and arms, however he still did not have a wife. His cousins, Math and Gwydion, used their magick to create him a wife from the flowers of the Oak, Broom and Meadowsweet. She was the Goddess Blodeuwedd.

Blodeuwedd was made to be his mate, and she did so flawlessly. She was the perfect wife. The perfect mate. His people loved her and her beauty was unmatched.

One day, Lleu went hunting and left Blodeuweds and her ladies alone in the castle. A young huntsmen was seeking shelter from a storm, his name was Gronw. From first sight, him and Blodeuwedd fell in love. In order to ensure that they can be together, they devise a plan to kill Lleu.

Gronw leaves and Blodeuwedd starts expressing her concern to Lleu about how she is scared he may die. Her concern causes Lleu to show her the very circumstances where he could die. A bath is prepared on the riverbank and it is covered with a thatched roof, making it neither indoors nor outdoors. Lleu stood with one foot on the bath and one foot upon the back of a goat. Gronw throws a specially made spear which hits Lleu in the side. He turns into an Eagle and leaves. Once nursed back to health, Lleu along with his cousins find the two lovers. Gronw is killed while Blodeuwedd was turned into an owl.

Modern day take vs. My view

In modern day society, some people have used Blodeuwedd's story as an example of infidelity as well as how lust can overtake someone.

I however, disagree to a certain extent. While Blodeuwedd was unfaithful in her marriage, I feel that there is a reason behind it, not that that makes it okay.

Blodeuwedd was made by men, for a man, based off of those mens own personal desires. She was made and told that she was to marry Lleu and that that was her purpose in life. She was never given a choice. She played the role of the perfect wife and mate. The people loved her. She loved Lleu and he loved her, but they weren't in love with each other. They cared for one another. They did their marital duties, but they weren't in love. Then Blodeuwedd met Gronw and he sets her world alight.

For the first time in her life, Blodeuwedd wants something so strongly and she wants that to be her choice. She was prepared to give up everything for that love.

Blodeuwedd's story is the story of a girl who lived her entire life playing by the rules and roles that someone else made for her. She wasn't living her life, simply existing in someone else's.

How I think this will act as an outline

Although I do not think that Sarah will kill anyone like the myth, I do think she may use it as a base outline.

Elain and Blodeuwedd have a lot of similarities. Both spent a large amount of their lives playing a role. Both were given mates and told that this is the person they are destined to be with. Both are willing to fight for the love they choose.

Naturally this would make Lucien Lleu and Azriel Gronw.

Rather than plot to kill Lucien, I think that Elain will decide that she wants to step away from the role that her mother gave her and be herself. Fight for the love that she wants, not the one that she was told she will have.

Although not absolutely necessary, I feel that to an extent, the romance will help push the plot forward. I see that after she steps out of that role, Elain, like Blodeuwedd, will decide for herself who she will love and be with. She will fight for Azriel and reject the bond with Lucien.

However, I do think that the fight for love needs to be on both sides. Elain's only relationship ended with her finding out that she loved harder and fell faster than Grayson and the only thing that she got from it was that stupid iron ring. That ring is a symbol of what pain love has caused her. We see it again in ACoSF when we.find that Elain tried to reach out to Nesta multiple times, but was pushed away each of them. She is tired of fighting for love and receiving none back. Love has caused her so much pain. Azriel will need to show Elain that he is willing to fight for her.

Going along with the myth, this rejection could be a cause for Lucien to request a blood duel. Not because he is in love with Elain, simply due to his fae instincts. In the end however, i do not think that it will be Azriel and Lucien fighting the duel but I do believe that it will have the same outcome as Gronw and Lleu's. With one dying (not that they really dueled).

Ultimately, I believe that like Blodeuwedd, Sarah will use the base of her story to show Elain's growth and show Elain finally stepping away from that role(which I've been saying she's been playing since I read chapter 40 of ACOMAF with one of my favourite Elain quotes).

I feel like reading into this myth gave me a better insight on Elain due to her similarities with Blodeuwess.

Fun niche things I noticed during my research

Blodeuwedd is apart of triad alongside Arianrhod and Cerridwen

Cerridwen's symbol in mythology is a cauldron and she is the Welsh grain and sow-Goddess, keeper of the cauldron of inspiration and Goddess of transformation.

Blodeuwedd is the white goddess of death and life

Nuala's name is derived from Irish mythology. It is a diminutive form of Fionnuala (fair shoilder) or it is an alternate name for Una who was the wife of Finvarra, the king of fairies.

Sorry for the long post, I just felt like this was something interesting that I wanted to share but haven't gotten around to making a TikTok on it so... Tumblr seemed easier. There are quite a few other crack theories and things that i want to expand on so I'll get to those one day. If you've made it this far, I hope you have a lovely rest of your day.

Bye 👋😍😍