#and im not talking in terms of 1 to 1 au

[lutzlig]

Stardew valley mod concept art from aaaaaages ago... set sometime after apollo justice... cruelly abandoned due to uni stress.... featuring phoenix (jodi) pre and post the return of edgeworth (kent)...

[sahisan]

— third door on the left, marked “debate club"

two professors. one office door away from kissing or killing each other. maybe both.

featuring . theoretical philosophy professor!anaxa x practical philosophy professor!fem!reader.

tags . university au. nodern au. suggestive. semi-public sex mentioned/referenced. (you make so many) sex jokes. fluff. ooc. soft anaxa. comedy. mild language. academic rivalry but make it professors. mentions of alcohol use. workplace romance. bickering as a love language.. flirting. so many philosophy terms (that i barely understand). wc 3.1k.

a/n . a friend dabbed me into philosophy and i folded. the handjob joke was initially hers but i couldn't help myself. im not a philosophy major so if you are please forgive me for any mistakes, my friend who actually majored in it helped me a small bit and im still confused. lmk if there are any typos. enjoy <3

"your handwriting is offensive," you mutter, turning the paper sideways, then upside down.

anaxa doesn’t look up from his tea. "you still read it, though."

"barely. is this supposed to say 'conscious' or 'conscience'?"

"both."

"no."

"well, that’s why i'm a philosopher."

"i also am one. your last footnotes gave me a headache."

he finally looks up, raising an eyebrow. "then my work here is done."

"so you’re telling me," you, crossing your arms. "that again, you rewrote the entire reading list after midterms?"

"no," he replies, not looking up from his notes. "i rewrote it because of midterms. frankly, your students deserve better than whatever you assigned them. i read the discussion boards."

"you’re on the discussion boards?"

"i moderate three of them. and i banned a user who called you hot. you’re welcome."

you pause and tilt your head. in the end, you mumble "...that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever done for me."

"don’t get used to it," he mutters, knowing you're exaggerating. "they spelled ‘epistemological’ wrong."

your bring in tea and fruit for your students. anaxagoras brings nothing and cancels half his office hours because, quote, "philosophy isn’t learned in panic, it’s metabolized in silence" (half the admin hates him).

his and your students are in quiet (jealous) war. campus hallway signs include:

"vote: whose exam will kill us with more dignity?

team prof [name]: understanding through application

team prof anaxagoras: no multiple choice, only anguish"

you and anaxa both pretend you don’t see the posters.

you end up stealing one and taping it to the wall in your office. anaxa responds by using it as part of a pop quiz question.

the students get back by gifting both of you matching mugs that say: "#1 philosophical threat". anaxa mutters about not joking with philosophy majors anymore. (they're literally his students and he's starting to get scared)

him and you sit on opposite ends of the philosophy department’s couch like it’s some kind of contested ground.

you're reading ethics of desire upside down. he’s pretending not to notice.

"why do you hate me?" you ask, out of nowhere.

"i don’t."

"then why do you argue with me in faculty meetings like we're at the fucking olympics?"

"because you like it," he looks over, holding eye contact.

"and," he adds after a beat. "because you're brilliant. and you're wrong about kant."

"i’m never wrong about kant," you frown.

"see? fun."

the dean told you it's mandatory to be in the department-wide group chat. anaxa has notifications off, your have them on, and neither of you participate until absolutely necessary.

today, someone sends a meme about faculty budgeting. it evolves quickly into... something.

@ecologywillsurvive_vaelis: what if we held a bake sale for chalk

@anaxagorastheory: what.

@cai_NaOCl: maybe we should sell naming rights to the new ethics wing. welcome to the ‘crypto.com moral foundations lab’

@anaxagorastheory: if you sell naming rights to a lab about ethics i will personally remove my eye patch and stare into your soul.

@praxis[name]: we’ve talked about this, the patch stays on in public spaces

@praxis[name]: and cai i'm going to rename your organic chem wing to 'half baked molecule lounge' if you bring up the ethics wing again

@anaxagorastheory: i’m just saying. the thread of reason is fraying.

@praxis[name]: your self-control is fraying

@anaxagorasthery: say that in office hours.

@epiphany_uni_admin: hi everyone! just a reminder that this is a professional chat

"you're late," you say without looking up from your laptop, fingers flying across the keyboard like you've been waiting specifically to outpace him.

"i was grading," anaxa responds, setting down a stack of painfully annotated printed philosophy 201 essays with a grimace. "your TAs let them write in first person and i nearly hemorrhaged."

"they’re freshmen, let them think they matter," you reply, finally glancing up at him.

"dangerous ideology for a praxis professor."

you hum. "dangerous man to say it."

"you’re wearing my coat," anaxa notes when he opens his office door and finds you there.

you blink once. then, "i spilled tea on mine."

he steps aside to lt you in, utterly unsurprised.

"also," you add as your shrug the coat tighter. "yours smells nicer."

he doesn’t say anything for a moment.

"would it be weird if i told you i hope you spill more tea tomorrow?"

you smile, mischievous.

"depends where."

"you always write in pen," your mutter, flipping through the latest draft of his paper with red ink bleeding into printed black. "only pen."

"i trust my convictions," anaxa replies, deadpan.

"you misspelled 'epistemological' three times after getting distracted by me."

"i was testing you."

"were you?" you ask, eyes narrowing. "you wrote 'epistomagical' at one point."

he shrugs, takes a sip from his coffee. it's black and bitter and you know he hates it.

you bite back a smile. "idiot."

"your handwriting is worse," he mutters. "at least i try."

"i write in runes," you say, prim.

"those are hearts above your i's."

"...runes of war."

"do you always grade with red?" you ask, leaning over his desk, some random paper in hand that you forgot about long ago.

anaxagoras doesn't look up, "of course. red forces clarity. confrontation."

"you wrote 'source?' in all caps across a paragraph about love in greek tragedy."

"and?"

you smile, as if holding back laugter. "it was a quote. from you."

he looks up. slow. silent.

you set the paper down with calmness he swears one can only see in fiction.

"next time, check your own citations, professor."

wednesdays are mostly alright. you walk into the staff lounge and there he is: anaxagoras. at the coffee machine. holding two cups.

"brewing double today?" you raise an eyebrow.

"i had to offer the students a choice," he says, pressing the start button. "do you want to study logic, or do you want to study… your soul?"

"you’re so terrible," you say with a sigh, taking the second cup from him. "you know no one really wants to study their soul?"

"not true," he replies, smiling smugly. "they want to study it, they just don’t know it yet."

he takes a sip of his coffee, watching you. you narrow your eyes.

"and what's this 'quiz' you’ve decided to torture them with?"

"it’s not a quiz. it’s a philosophical challenge," he says, moving to the small whiteboard. "i ask them to define their own existence without using ‘i think, therefore i am'.

"you’re evil," you raise an eyebrow.

"i'm not," he argues. "they tiktokified descartes!"

"they what?"

anaxa finds a note slipped into his bag.

it’s folded on thick paper, smells like your hand cream.

in that unmistakable handwriting, hearts a constant above the i's like it's a love letter (maybe it is):

"you didn't have breakfast this morning, so i left a little something in your office

<3"

he stares at it for five minutes straight. then folds it again and tucks it into his coat pocket. the 'little something' ended up being a bento of salad and two bacon sandwiches.

he won’t ever admit it, but he carries it for the rest of the week (and he will absolutely not start mimicking your handwriting later).

it's a faculty party. you're in black silk and sipping terrible wine. anaxa's next to you, lecturing someone on metaphysical paradoxes. again.

"you could’ve worn a bow tie," you murmur when he leans in.

he looks at you like he’s already undone. "and you could’ve worn less loud heels if you didn’t want me distracted."

your fingers pause on the stem of your glass. "hm. touché."

"that’s french."

"you speak french?"

he leans closer, "i learn languages for spite."

you lick your teeth to hide a grin. "is that how you learned to say je veux te baiser in the hallway last week?"

anaxa chokes on his wine.

"you're in my office," he says, arms crossed, glasses half-lowered.

"your sign says 'office hours clpsed unless it's a crisis'. this," you say, dropping a thick bundle of papers on his desk, "is a crisis."

he glances down.

"this is… a peer review."

"your peer review. you cited a wikipedia page in a footnote."

anaxa doesn’t look even remotely sorry. "it was cited ironically."

"you teach epistemology, anaxagoras."

"and irony is a form of knowledge."

you blink. “oh my god. leave."

"it's my office."

"i don't care, leave."

obvious enough, your offices share a wall (god bless the dean and the department chair). it’s the point of thus where, sometimes, you hear anaxa recite passages of obscure texts to himself aloud; sometimes in ancient languages.

today, it’s greek.

"…lógos eikós," he says. "reason is likely—"

"and so is the fact that your argument on practical virtue is still wrong," you call through the wall.

"it was metaphorical!"

"so is your whole career!"

you hear the sound of a book being thrown at the wall and smile.

"you rearranged my bookshelves," you say flatly, arms crossed, eyebrow arched.

"i reorganized them by author. the fact that your copy of moral letters to lucilius was next to the hungry caterpillar is—"

"—educational range."

anaxagoras doesn't smirk, not really, just sips his coffee like it's the antidote to your nonsense.

"you’re impossible."

"and yet you still broke into my office to alphabetize my praxis."

"it was unlocked."

"it was not."

(it was.)

anaxagoras gets sick and refuses to take time off. you physically remove him from the building.

"i’m fine," he rasps.

"you’re a hazard," you say, throwing his bag over your shoulder. "you coughed on three students and almost knocked over aristotle's bust in your auditorium.

he slumps into your car without protest. later, you make him him soup and read aloud from his own research while he’s half-asleep just to see if you can make him correct your pronunciation mid-fever. he does.

"you’re ridiculous," you murmur.

"you’re warm," he mumbles, drifting.

"i’m human."

"keep being that."

@epiphanyconfessions

"i’m just saying. if prof [name] leaned over my desk the way she leans over prof anaxagoras’s desk i too would forget how to spell my own name"

@epiphanyconfessions

"anybody remember that one time she called him 'anaxagoras' during a rare joint lecture and he straightened up like a victorian man seeing ankle for the first time. someone sedate them."

@epiphanyconfessions

"i heard prof anaxa say ‘consent is the highest form of logic’ and i haven’t been the same since. like sir i just wanted to pass intro metaphysics please don’t take me apart like that"

you're the one who finds the twitter account. it's an automated bot which quite literally posts all the gossip in the university. unsurprisingly now, 70% of what you've seen include you and anaxa.p

you scroll for three minutes in silence, then turns your phone around so he can see it.

"i think your students are obsessed with me."

anaxa doesn't look a single bit impressed.

"well, at least i've managed to teach them something about attention to detail."

you end up paired for the damn symposium panel because someone in admin has a cruel sense of humor.

"just be civil," the dean says, sipping bitter coffee as the two of you stand on either side of the projector.

"civil as in—" you start.

"no blood on the mic."

anaxagoras doesn't smirk, not quite, but there's a twitch of something near his mouth when he says "i'll keep my composure if she does."

"i never lose my composure," you shoot back.

his eyes go to your mouth. "you have. once."

your silence is thin and sharp and full of fuck yous that do not get spoken.

the dean groans. "if either of you fucks the other on the mic, i swear to god i'm retiring."

you're walking out of the symposium together, the cold air catching your hair just right.

"they misquoted kant four times," he mutters, voice slightly hoarse

"only four?" you tease. "you’re mellowing."

"i’m trying not to ruin our evening."

"oh?" you glance at him. "are we having an evening?"

he stops walking and you take two steps before realizing he’s still behind you.

"…yes," he says. "if you want."

your expression warms without looking at him. "i do."

he doesn’t say anything else, just walks beside you the rest of the way, hands close, not touching.

it's christmas eve and everyone’s a little tipsy in the lounge, even the department chair.

anaxa is holding a glass of deep red wine and trying not to react when you make a joke about morals and oral fixation in the same sentence.

later, outside under the garden lights, you speak.

"cai told me your students think we're sleeping together," you say, watching the breeze catch your own hair.

"we are."

"they suspect, anaxagoras."

"then they’re late to class."

you laugh, quiet and unguarded, the kind of laugh that makes his shoulders drop. he reaches out to fix the collar of his your coat.

"you're soft when you're smug," you murmur.

"you're smug when you're soft," anaxa retaliates.

"you’re in love with me."

"that too."

youre both tired. the grading deadlines loom and the campus heating is out again.

"sit down," anaxa mutters, patting the seat next to him on the floor of his office.

"your carpet has chalk dust on it."

"so do your pants, professor."

you sigh as if you're bearing the weight of the world on your lone shoulders and sit.

there's no light in the office but the blue glow of his screen, and the soft static of the heater humming through the vents.

"i'm not rewriting the conclusion," you murmur, almost asleep on his shoulder.

"i know."

"but i miiight let you footnote me."

he hums, head tilting against yours. "if you do, i'll stop quoting you out of context."

"...maybe don't. i sound smarter when you do it."

"you are smart."

you hum, noncommittal. anaxa sighs.

anaxagoras is having a deja vu; a really strong one.

you're seated across from each other at another faculty mixer (he complained about seeing too many people outside his lectures in the past three months on the way to this one). you're wearing black, sharp eyeliner, and a gold pin in the shape of a crescent. anaxa is halfway through a whiskey and trying very hard not to look impressed.

"you know they’re calling us ‘the debate club’?" you say, lazily stirring your drink. "it’s not flattering."

"they only say that because you get louder when you’re wrong."

"you’re still upset i said plato would’ve folded if someone gave him a nice handjob."

he tried to mask laughing with accidentally choking on his whiskey.

he definitely is having a deja vu. (he loves it with you.)

you kiss once in the archives.

it’s a study break, technically.

you're sitting on the dusty desk. he’s standing between your legs. you're surrounded by books about love and logic and ancient epics, and you don’t speak about the copy of whatever book you were supposed to help him with looking for.

later, as you fix his messed up hair again for him, when he’s too flustered to do it straight, you murmur,

"you lose arguments better than anyone i've ever met."

he leans into your palm where it cups his jaw.

"i only lose to you."

"i hope so."

he sees you grading in the courtyard and sits beside you, uninvited.

"your first-years are circulating a petition."

"ah. is it about the essay extension?"

"no. they want you and i to 'just publicly kiss already and not torture us anymore'. their words."

you don't pause your hand. "did you sign it?"

"...maybe."

you're more often in his office than you're not.

"if we get caught—" he starts, breathless.

"it's your fault. stop kissing me like you’re too lazy to drive us home," you cut him off, sliding your hands into his hair.

"i’m not built for scandal," he breathes against your mouth.

"you’re wearing an eyepatch, anaxagoras."

"...it’s academic."

"so is this," you say tilting his head back, climbing into his lap as your hand loosens his tie. "let me study you."

"you’ve been reading the same sentence for five minutes," he murmurs.

you don’t look up; your head is resting against your palm, pen slack between your fingers. "because it says 'therefore, subjectivity is inherently sus'."

anaxagoras blinks. "they submitted that in ink?"

"typed," you sigh. "with a footnote that just says 'as per amongus'."

he leans over, eyes scanning the page, then: "…expel them," flatly.

"i can’t expel them."

"i can."

"you teach philosophy, not moral hygiene."

"same thing, if you ask the right philosopher."

you're sprawled on the old couch in his office, shoes off, his coat folded under your head, flipping through his notes. your eyes hurt. you flip the papers upside down.

"you really wrote a thirty-page rebuttal on the concept of divine intervention just because i said some gods might have been hot?"

"you said apollo could get it in front of our students."

"and you wrote a philosophical hitpiece," you counter.

"i cited my sources," anaxa grumbles, tired.

"you are absolutely insane."

"we're pretty much equal in terms of that, i believe."

he brings you coffee exactly how you like it before every morning seminar. you make his lecture slides look presentable. you pass post-it notes through interdepartmental mail—yours are gold-trimmed, his are so painfully neat. once, someone intercepted one. it just said:

'you were right about that footnote. bring your smugness and your mouth to my office at five. i need to be convinced again.'

you're reading in the living room. anaxa's half-asleep next to you, head on your lap, one hand absently tracing lazy circles on your thigh.

"what are you annotating now?" he murmurs.

"your latest essay."

"and?"

"you cited yourself fourteen times."

"i trust my sources."

you hum. "sure you do."

"if we were set to constantly teach a class together," anaxa says quietly, "we’d probably get fired."

you yawn. "i think we’d start a cult."

"that too. if we didn't already."

a hum. “a sexy cult."

he laughs, soft and tired and you want to kiss him until your lips remember his skin for the rest of your life. "you’re the one who brings up sex every time we talk about curriculum."

"it’s integral to ethics and aesthetics."

"and not philosophy?"

"it is philosophy," you grumble. "do you talk about pleasure in your lectures?"

he pauses. "…not directly."

"coward."

he squeezes your hand. "i love you."

"i know," you say. "even if your syllabus doesn’t include eros."

he smiles into your hair. "next semester."

[fics-lovebot]

enhypen fic recs pt.2

main masterlist - pt. 1 - pt. 3 - pt. 4 - pt. 5

· · ♡ · · tysm to the amazing creative minds of the writers for giving me sevaral moments of joy reading your creations

these are my personal favs, so pls reblog if you like any of my recs❤️

home for the bitchless - ( @hannie-dul-set ) on going au. crack, rom-com, rev harem. hee + 02z + txt soobin and beomgyu. housemates! au. LMAOOOO this has to be one of the funniest things i´ve read on here fr

When you catch the bouquet at a wedding - ( @scented-morker ) ot7. FLUFF. PLEASEEE I LOVE THISS, i´ve never seen any writing with this concept!

sassy - ( @jaysng ) fluff, slice of life. husband!jay, wife!reader. AAAAAAAAAAA THIS IS SO CUTE JAY IS SUCH A GIRL DAD!! :((

dni (do not ignore) - (@boyfhee ) ot7 smau. crack, fluff, vvv lowk angst. lmaoooo you know i love me some dramatic bf!jake

noona - ( @hoonvrs ) smau, fluff, a lottt of crack, noona!reader, jungwons older sister!reader, younger!sunghoon, SDKJAJHAS THIS HAD ME UGLy CACKLING AT WORKKKK, im livinf for the banter, they´re all sO MEAN TO HIM LMAOO

crash and burn - ( @hannie-dul-set ) fluff, two-part rom-com, skater!au. loser!enha ft. loser!sunghoon, THIS IS SDSJFKSJ LMAOO, i love it :3

safe and sound - ( @thatfeelinwhenyou ) jungwon au, dystopian, post-apocalyptic survival, horror/thriller, slow burn, ANGST. you cannot even begin to UNDERSTANF THE CALIBRE OF THIS ART PIECE RIGHT HERE, THERE´S JUST NO WWWAAAYYYYYYY I´M READING THIS FOR FREEE!, MISS GIRL THIS NEEDS TO BE ON GOODREADS OR SUMM OH MY GAAAAWWDDDD

sent, delivered, loved - ( @woniedarlin ) angst, fluff. idol!jungwon, hybe-staff!reader. the way i ate this whole thing UPPPPPPPPPPPPP UGHHHHHH, plssilovedit

the weave to my love - ( @mygnolia ) fluff, classmates to lovers, idiots to lovers, spiderman!riki, class pres!reader. yes yes yes yes yes, this is what i´m talking about, I LOVE ITTTTT. the banter is deff my favorite thing, love the concept as well

pics i posted on my ig story for my crush to see - ( @lattegyu ) ig stories, fluff, crack, smau, non idol!jake

brought the heat back - ( @jayniks ) smut, idol!jake, giving him a bj while he´s on weverse live sdlkjlsd WHEWW

hello kitty meets batman - ( @star-sim ) fluff, angst, lowkey smut, dark horror creator youtuber!jake, downbad!jake, beauty vlogger youtuber!reader. fans had no idea their fav youtubers were in a long-term secret relationship. THIS IS SO GOOOOOODDDDDDDD plsss, i wish i could read it again for the first time

things we never said - ( @hoonigiris ) very angsty, jake au. it’s heeseung’s wedding, jake’s had too much to drink, and really, he just misses you. perhaps what happens after are the things he should never say. This is realllyy well written, i loved it

taste of heaven - ( @moonstruck-muses ) vamp au, smut, fluff, angst, vamp!jake, human!reader. he´s keeping his true nature a secret. THIS HAS IT ALLLLL and the smut is so gewd too, pls i would love the see another part of this

waiting on calls - ( @miumura ) fluff, angst, exes to lovers, second chance romance, ex bf!jake, non idol au, I LOVE THISSSSSSS, its so different and well written

ouch my head - ( @jakesangel ) loser desperate jake, smau, crack, fluff, "when y/n almost gets hit by a random hot basketball player who happens to have a huge crush on her" this is an on going series, so so so entertaining and fun to read lmao

everything but nothing - ( @cherryrikis ) ANGST (i love that shii), non-idol!au, break up talk, football cap!jake, fluffy happy ending, comfort, i rrrreally wished i could read what the rest of enha did to make yn go back to her and jake´s house omg

sidewalk theory - ( @mlyscha ) FLUff, bf!sunghoon,, wowww ahaha so WHAT IF KMS RN AND CHANGED THE TRAJECTORY OF EVERYONES LIFE?????? THIS IS SO LDKFJHSKDFHLKSJHDLKGSHJGHL :((( miss girl this made me want to ugly cry and scream bc why is it so fucking cute :(((((((((((

fixed comfort - ( @paarksunghoon ) fluff, non-idol!sunghoon, "the one where sunghoon’s drunk at a bar and misses his girlfriend a little too much",,, SSSSSSO WHAT IF I TELL YALL THiS IS THE MOST SLICE OF LIFE-ISH AU I´VE EVER READ?????? it´s so domestic and cute and fluffy and perfect :((

random ass texts - ( ( @saursoob ) fluff, crack, downbad!dunghoon

freaky bf!hoon texts - ( @enha-stars ) fluff, crack, very suggestive, downbad!sunghoon, mentions of pee kink,,,IKYFL

pictures of bf!sunghoon enha sends you - ( @enha-stars ) text, fluff

emergency contact - ( @hoonatic ) ANGSTYYYYYYYYY, fluff, exes to lovers. weeks after your breakup, sunghoon finds out that he’s still your emergency contact. i love it SO fucking MUCH plssss

the pussy eating competition - ( @karinasbaby ) sunghoon au, smut, HELLO???? THIS WHOLE CONCEPT IS CRAAZZZYYYYYYYYY, bc WDYM there´s a competition of how many times a guy can make a girl squirt under 5 minutes??????? IM- it´s good yall

crush - ( @star-sim ) fluff, crack, non-idol! bf! sunghoon, sleepy!hoon, dumb!hoon. AAAAAAAAA i love it :( so domestic and fun and cute and :((((((

[flaming-shapeshifter]

hello would u potentially feel like sharing some of the victorian sex slang you know im writing gay sex set in 1847 and im struggling :(

hello! I would be delighted to; there is no higher use for the truly excessive amount of victorian porn I've read than to aid in this endeavour

Two caveats before I get into it: one, the main source that I used when I was originally researching victorian porn is a series of publications from the late 1870s/80s (I'll link the wikisource version and talk about it more at the bottom) and as such may not reflect exact usage for the period you're writing. I don't *think* language usually changes that fast, but I'm not a linguist so thought it worth mentioning. Where possible I've tried to cross reference with the oxford english dictionary to determine first recorded english usage, but the censorship laws of the time and subsequent lack of digitisation can make it difficult sometimes to get an accurate picture of popular usage. Two, language has changed quite a bit since the 19th century--there's a good chance the average ao3 reader is going to be relying very very heavily on context for several of the more unfamiliar words below, while others have had their meanings change a fair bit since that time. Should you choose to use them regardless, I commend you for your dedication to accuracy.

anyway, without further ado, a whole bunch of victorian sex vocab:

Genitalia &c.

I'm not sure what parts are involved in your gay sex and I'm a completionist, so you're getting all of them

priapus: the penis. A more high-brow, classical reference to the greco-roman god of fertility. English usage has been a thing since at least the canterbury tales, but it's unclear exactly at what point the usage transitioned from referring solely to the god (as in the tales) to a physical penis between the 14th and mid-late 19th centuries. However a medical dictionary from 1842 lists the definition very matter-of-factly as "penis" as well, so you should be good to go, especially with more formally educated/wealthy characters

pego: the penis, again. This one's been around since at least the 17th century and does not appear to have any alternative meanings; it also hit its peak usage for the 19th century in 1850 (by appearances in published texts), so definitely a safe bet

cock: the penis. This one is possibly both the oldest and the most modern of the penis-related nouns here; we use it in our smut today and used in to pun about sex all the way back in 15th century middle english. If you want something both recognisable and period-appropriate, this is your word.

prick: the penis. Similarly to cock, though slightly less common as a neutral/eroticised noun nowadays in my experience, "prick" has been in use since at least the 16th century, and has the benefit of being recognisable to the modern reader, though the connotations may have shifted slightly

roger: the penis. Usage in reference to said organ has been occurring since at least the 17th century, but by the 19th, it seems to be mainly in comical contexts, i.e. bawdy poetry.

quim: the vulva/vagina. Dates back to at least the early 17th century; most examples cited in the oxford english dictionary come from verse before the mid 19th, after which point it's all casual or erotica-type references.

cunny: vulva/vagina. thought to be a variant on "coney," which can in British English refer either to the organ or to a rabbit; this term has been in use since the late 16th century.

pussy/pussey: the vulva/vagina. A relatively recent term when used with regards to genitalia, dating to the late 17th century and only really gaining popularity in the mid 19th century. Probably the least likely to be used (with the possible exception of verse), but one of the most recognisable to a modern reader

cunt: the vulva/vagina. You could write a period-appropriate-language black plague au with this one (as "cunte" per middle english spelling) and still have it be recognisable for the modern reader. 1847? fucking go for it

mons veneris: the mons pubis. Often capitalised as "Mons Veneris"; seems to get mentioned at least once in every pornographic story involving ciswomen, possibly due to the classical reference to Venus and its associations. Cismen also have this structure (though it's smaller due to the lower level of estrogen), but tragically it does not get the same veneration. Usage increased steadily from the mid 17th century and peaked in the late 1800s.

clitoris: the clitoris. Dates from at least the early 17th century and has grown in popularity ever since; "clit," in contrast, only appears in writing in the mid 20th century and would be rather anachronistic.

bubbies: the breasts, pretty much always a woman's. The spelling didn't transition to "booby"/"boobies" in reference to breasts until the early-mid 20th century (previously, as a noun, a "booby" was merely a fool); "bubbies" was the way to go from at least the 17th century up until that point

ballocks/bollox/bollocks: the testicles. Similarly to "pussey," I add this one mostly for the sake of spelling, which varied mostly between "ballocks" and "bollocks" but doesn't seem to be standardised in colloquial English spelling until the very late 20th century, if at all. In use since the 15th century.

British slang referring to the ass (bum, arse, &c.) generally translates pretty well to the point where I don't feel it necessary to give them their Victorian-specific entries.

Much like modern writing, the Victorians seemed to enjoy figurative language for their genitalia--horses are an unfortunately common point of comparison for penises, but "Cupid's dart" and "engine of love" are also common euphemisms. Cavern-related language and "gap of love" are their equals for the vagina, but overall, there's not many metaphors you could make up that would feel inappropriate to the era.

Actions

Presented in the infinitive form; normal English rules for verb conjugations/spelling generally apply.

gamahuche: to perform oral sex, most frequently on someone with a vagina. A borrowing from French as of the late 18th century that seems to have mostly died out in the modern day--I don't think I've ever heard someone say "gamahuche" out loud unless referencing Victorian pornography

frig: to finger someone/give a handjob, or (less frequently), stimulate them internally with a separate moving object. Worth noting that the meaning of this one does appear to refer more and more specifically to internal stimulation over the course of the late 19th and 20th centuries, but all uses should be appropriate for 1847.

fuck: to penetrate (or mimic penetration i.e. via intercrural sex) specifically with a penis. According to the Victorians, if there's not a penis involved, it doesn't realllly count as sex, which is part of why so much focus on homosexuality was specific to male/male homosexual activity (more on that later). This particular word has been in recognisable use since at least the 16th century, gets used frequently in the 19th in the appropriate situations, and is very recognisable to the modern reader; 10/10 would recommend. Also varies in usage by location such as in the case of "bum-fuck"

sodomy (n)/sodomise: to engage in any form of penetrative sex other than penile/vaginal, regardless of gender. Typically more legal terminology than colloquial, and pretty much always used in a negative sense of an "act against nature"; equals "cunt" and "cock" in antiquity as it dates back probably to the 14th century

bugger: to act as the penetrative party in anal sex with a phallic instrument (whether dildo or penis), regardless of gender. not quite as old a term as sodomy, being first found in legal writings in the 16th century, but definitely a more common-use term for the time.

pederasty: to engage in specifically male/male anal sex. As may be deduced from the word components, this carries the connotation of a large age gap between the persons involved, and may originate from the ancient greek practice of sexual apprenticeships (for lack of a better word) between a teenage-ish boy and an older man. Despite these connotations, it could be used to refer to any partnering of male/male sex, but tended to be a comparatively academic term. English written usage dates back to at least the early 17th century.

spend: to orgasm, particularly if fluids are involved (regardless of genitalia). In use since at least the 17th century and may carry connotations for the modern reader relating to the cultural emphasis on sex for the purpose of procreation alone

come: to orgasm. This one has been ol' reliable for smut writers since the earl 17th century at least and continues to be so today

Language tends to be more descriptive with regards to acts rather than using specific words--then again, one could consider that just another form of the "show, don't tell" maxim.

Items involved

French letter: a condom. This terminology would be very recent for '47, having only started appearing in English in the early 1840s--similarly, they would be made of treated linen or bladder/intestine (a "skin" condom) at the time, as rubber condoms were not produced until the 1850s

cundum/condom: a condom. An older term than the letter, though only by a century; the latter (modern) spelling dominates usage in the 19th century

godemiche: a dildo. Another loanword from french, this would also be fairly recent language, as it appears to have only entered written English usage in the early 1830s. Not a super common turn of phrase either way

dildoe/dildo: a dildo. In use in writing since the late 16th/early 17th century, the use of flexible materials such as leather or (in the latter half of the 19th century) vulcanised rubber allowed for the creation of ejaculating versions which could also be set in harnesses to be used as what we would now call a strap-on

On the subject of lube: "lube," unsurprisingly, is not a word in use at the time; nor, for that matter, is "lubricant" as we use it in reference to the wonderful additive for sexual intercourse today. In the works I've analysed, anal sex is mostly conducted using saliva or vaginal fluids as lubricant, if a lubricating substance is used at all; the one exception to this is a reference to "cold cream" used for male/male anal sex, which appears to be a perfumed spermaceti- and wax-based substance intended for skincare and has been in use since the early 19th century at least

Culture

identity: as you may be aware, "homosexuality" as a term didn't become a thing until the sexological period of the latter half of the 19th century; up until that era, anglophone culture didn't really have a conceptualisation of sexuality as an innate characteristic. Rather, sex acts were entirely something that you did, regardless of the genders involved, which is how we get period words like "tribade," which referred simply to women who had sex with women without concern for attraction.

legality: for britain specifically, male/male gay sex warranted a death sentence in regular courts up until 1861, after which the sentence changed to imprisonment--legal scholars at the time deemed this change likely to result in more successful prosecutions, as courts were previously hesitant to indict when doing so meant capital punishment. Female/female gay sex, in contrast, was completely ignored by the law, as said law was completely focused on penises. Similarly, american courts (which were based on british law) would later rule in the years surrounding the turn of the 20th century that oral sex performed on a penis was illegal regardless of gender due to being sodomitic in nature, but cunnilingus was perfectly fine.

social perception: similar to the law, male/male sex was regarded as taboo such that it was generally talked around rather than named up until sexology started gaining ground (sexological texts were then promptly blamed for teaching people how to do gay sex). Based on newspaper op-eds that I unfortunately don't have on hand right now, all-male settings such as sailing vessels (especially sailing vessels) were seen as particular bastions of such activity. female/female sex? generally disregarded as harmless, particularly in all-female settings such as schools.

Bonus

At least in the latter half of the century, impact play in the genital region (particular with a rod or "birch," but any flogging implement would seem to do) was treated in both pornographic and psycho-medical sexological texts as a commonly acknowledged method of attaining arousal, to the point that at least one author raised concerns about the continued use of flogging as punishment in boys' schools. Huzzah for Victorian kink friendliness, I guess?

Further Reading/References

Unless otherwise noted, all etymology, usage trends, and century of (written) origin is based on the Oxford English Dictionary.

"The Pearl: A Journal of Facetiæ and Voluptuous Reading." William Lazenby, London Society of Vice, 1879-1881. https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/The_Pearl.

This is the Victorian porn publication I mentioned earlier, notable for its portrayals of gay sex compared to Lazenby's later publications such as The Oyster. Should you choose to do your own reading, it's worth noting that stories tend to involve topics of major consent issues, incest, underage sex and pedophilia, and period-typical misogyny, and racism. An interesting note about this particular publication is that it was relatively expensive for its time--apparently, the upper class liked their illicit gay smut.

Robley Dunglison • Medical Lexicon. A New Dictionary of Medical Science, containing a concise account of the various subjects and terms, … and formulae for … preparations etc • 3rd edition, 1842

For the medical definition of "priapus" as it refers to the penis.

Hernández, Anna. “Mons Pubis: What Is It, Location, and More | Osmosis.” Osmosis, January 6, 2025. https://www.osmosis.org/answers/mons-pubis.

Aine Collier (2007). The Humble Little Condom: A History. Buffalo, N.Y: Prometheus Books.

Beyond the scope of this post, for the most part, but if you're interested in writing period-accurate safer sex practices, it may be worth a look.

Saunders, T., and Edward Cox. The Criminal Law Consolidation Acts, 1861: The Other New Criminal Statutes and Parts of Statutes of the Sessions 1861 and 1862; Together With A Digest of the Criminal Cases Decided by The Court of Criminal Appeal, The Superior Courts, the Central Criminal Court, and on the Circuits. From 1848 to 1862. 2nd ed. London: J. Crockford, 1862.

Includes contemporary legal analyses of the changes to British legal punishment of male homosexual activity, as mentioned in the Culture section.

Richard von Krafft-Ebing, Psychopathia Sexualis, with Especial Reference to Contrary Sexual Instinct: A Medico-Legal Study., trans. Charles Gilbert Chaddock, 7th ed. (Philadelphia; London: F.A. Davis Co., 1892).

Psycho-medical perspectives on homosexuality and other "abnormal" sexual tendencies in the late Victorian era; contains a whole bunch of autobiographical testimonies. The downside is that anything touching on homosexual activity (which for academics at the time also included gender non-conformity) has been censored by being translated to Latin; you'll need to look at the 1960s or later for a fully English translation.

B. R. Burg. Boys at Sea: Sodomy, Indecency, and Courts Martial in Nelson's Navy. New York: Palgrave Macmillan, 2007.

A look specifically at social attitudes in the purportedly all-male spaces of naval vessels; though slightly earlier (~1790-1820) than the 1847 time period, it stands to reason that characters familiar with that environment may continue to bear attitudes shaped by it. Unfortunately it may be difficult to access without being able to go through a university-level library system.

Lorraine Rumson, “Kink in the Time of Sexology: An Interdisciplinary Approach to ‘Abnormal Sexuality’ in Victorian Culture,” in Kink and Everyday Life: Interdisciplinary Reflections on Practice and Portrayal, 1st ed. (Bingley, UK: Emerald Publishing Limited, 2021).

An interesting analysis of social attitudes based on pornographic depictions, and contains further resources for Victorian pornography--unfortunately, I no longer have the book on hand to give specific names of texts, but they do exist ("Venus in Furs" is one that I do recall); alternatively, if you want older pornographic works, "Fanny Hill" and anything by the Marquis de Sade are worth looking into, albeit with the same content warnings as I mention for The Pearl.

Donald Hall. “Teaching Victorian Pornography: Hermeneutics and Sexuality.” Victorian Review 34, no. 2 (2008): 19–25. http://www.jstor.org/stable/27793665.

Another resource for identifying Victorian pornographic works, and this one's easily available on JSTOR if you have access or scihub if you don't.

[love-belle]

i should hate u !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which their post break-up era is them using shady captions to communicate and the media and fans being confused.

or

for when you loved them too much. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // max verstappen x fem!reader

sequel - today and tomorrow and every day after that ⋆·˚ ༘ *

warnings - language

author's note - hello!!! i really hope u like this <3 i was initially gonna do daniel ricciardo one first but i already had 1/2 of this done so i just decided to post this :) thank u sm for reading <3 i love u

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by paddock.club, f1gossippage, y/n4everrr and 6,829 others

f1news y/n y/l/n and max verstappen called it quits almost a month ago and it seems like they didn't end on good terms at all. the singer, at her london show last night, threw shade at her ex-boyfriend, saying and we quote, "the next song wouldn't have been possible without this one dude who inspired it obviously. so — here's 'i should hate you'. spoiler alert, i do. thank you!" the reason for the split is still unknown but sources who claim to be close to the pair said that 'it was bound to happen — with their different goals and plans for the future," seemingly referring to the talks that y/l/n wanted to get married and verstappen didn't. both of them have yet to comment on the situation. for more details, click on the link in our bio.

278 comments

username WOAH

username pause.

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username NOT HER CONFIRMING THAT I SHOULD HATE YOU IS ABT MAX

username no bc the way her voice cracked so many times in between the songs like girlie is angry AND hurt

username OH MY GOD

username i genuinely have no words

username omg the photos are NOT of her shading max. it's her laughing at a fan who yelled "you're the baddest bitch of all baddest bitches" at her

-> username YEAH LIKE SHE WAS SO CLOSE TO CRYING WHEN SHE SANG ISHY

username my delusional ass thinking they ended on good terms 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

username nah it's so champagne problems and you're losing me kinda thing i can't handle this whatcthe fucj

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username STOP WHAT THE FUCK

username my parents ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

username no bc she's genuinely such a sweet person so if she said this max must've done something 😭😭😭😭😭

-> username STOP NO 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

username can't believe she's saying this about a dude for whom she wrote "feels like" for like wow.

username I WAS AT THAT SHOW AND SHE LOOKED SO SAD AFTER SHE SAID THIS I FELT SO BAD

-> username SHE ALSO STARTED CRYING WHEN SHE FINISHED SINGING I MISS U IM SORRY AND ZARA (HER LEAD GUITARIST) HAD TO RUN AND CONSOLE HER

-> username AND SHE SAID THAT THE LAST MONTH HAS BEEN HARD ON HER AND SHE APOLOGIZED IF THE SHOW WASN'T AS GOOD AS THE OTHERS

-> username NAH MOTHER ATE AS ALWAYS

username y'all saying this but not the fact that she ALSO said "in another life we would've worked but im grateful for everything i had because for a moment you were mine"

-> username MY HEART JUST BROKE WHATCTHEBFUCK

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

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maxverstappen1 i know i say that i am better now, spoiler alert, i am

8,926 comments

username the way my jaw dropped

username THE PICTURES

username GODDAMN

username someone take away y/n's phone before she hits back 💀💀💀

-> username the way i know that she would absolutely destroy him

username NOT THE PHOTOS OMG

danielricciardo spoiler alert, also a liar

-> maxverstappen1 you promised you wouldn't snitch

username he definitely cried while posting this idc

username max babe it's okay to admit that u miss ur wifey bc same 💔💔💔

-> username "wifey" girl he didn't even wanna marry her

-> username not another word.

username funny haha 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 im crying 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 now get back with mom.

landonorris no you're not

-> maxverstappen1 i will block you

username lando and daniel exposing max 💀💀💀

username no bc he probably cries whenever he remembers that he fumbled a baddie like y/n

username "it's all better with you ❤️"

-> username i could've gone along with my day without seeing that just saying

-> username delete that RIGHT NOW before i start crying

username missing max simping for y/n like ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

charles_leclerc i swear i can hear you crying from my hotel room

-> maxverstappen1 WE'RE NOT EVEN IN THE SAME HOTEL

username the way im SO sure he heard y/n saying that she hates him and that was the moment he gave up

-> username nah bc he was one of the "my girl's mad at me i hope i die" kinda guys

-> username wonder how he's surviving this tbh

username I CAN'T TAKE THIS SERIOUS IM SORRY THE POST IS JUST TOO FUNNY

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by selenagomez, carmenmmundt, dualipa and 2,246,826 others

yourusername i hate you lol

12,628 comments

username HELP

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*liked by yourusername*

username no bc girl had a lot to say she's just trying to keep it cute

*liked by yourusername*

username the way i know y/n FOUGHT for the right to post this caption

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landonorris "in love" alright.

-> yourusername IT'S FOR THE AESTHETIC

username mother and father are fighting i can't take this what tye fyxk

username 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

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username no bc if y/n ever said ihy to me i would give up just a thought

lilymhe pretty bitch

-> yourusername u sure that's not u?????

username i REALLY hope she's at the next gp

-> username no bc the way max and her meeting would definitely be more entertaining than the race itself

username NOT THE SONG LYRICS WHAT HAVE U PLANNED

-> username oh fuck that broke my heart what the fuck

username missing my man max in the comments section being a whipped bitch so bad ://////

carmenmmundt can't wait to see you darling 🤍

-> yourusername counting down the seconds omg i missed u!!!!!!

username y/n's manager has her on lockdown i can tell 💀💀💀

-> username with what she said at her last show i wouldn't be surprised

landonorris the post has reached the target and the target is currently eating ice cream while singing your songs

-> yourusername OH OKAY

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username she's so pretty it's not fair wtf

username the caption omg

-> username it's SO mild compared to what i was expecting tbh 💀

username slay

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

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maxverstappen1 it's all better now

comments are disabled for this post

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by carmenmmundt, charles_leclerc, landonorris and 2,829,626 others

yourusername and i swear to god i'd kill you if i loved you a less hard

13,728 comments

username SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

username OH MY GOD

username IS THAT MAX WHATCTHEBFUCK

username NOT Y/N SOFT LAUNCHING HER EX BOYFRIEND

username GIRL 😭😭😭😭 get up

username this is INSANE

username MOTHER?????? WHAT IS THIS??????

danielricciardo the most stressful week of my life if we're being for real

-> yourusername u can send m*x the therapy bill

-> maxverstappen1 don't. i did not agree to that.

username HER SONG LYRICS OH MY GOD

username SHE WROTE THIS SONG FOR MAX 😭😭😭😭😭😭

username okay but like. are we SURE that's max?????

-> username i simply refuse to believe that it's someone else so yes. that IS in fact max.

username OKAYYYYYYY

username did NOT see this coming in a thousand years

username obviously VERY happy for them but y/n censoring max's name is so fucking hilarious like

-> yourusername babe it's m*x

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-> maxverstappen1 this is bullying

username DID HE PUT A RING ON IT WHATXTHEBFUCK

-> username NO BC THAT WOULD MAKE SM SENSE

username so i lost SLEEP over nothing????????

maxverstappen1 nice pants

-> yourusername thanks they would look better on ur floor

-> maxverstappen1 say less

-> username i think i just died whatcthebfuxk

-> username oh they're GOOD now

username imagine they just drop engagement photos out of the blue then what.

-> yourusername imagine lol

-> username WHAT DOES THIS MEAN

username i just know y/n's eating up every moment of this chaos

-> maxverstappen1 demons thrive in chaos so

-> yourusername well! it was nice to reconcile for a couple days, goodbye now.

username im crying whayctrhbfcuk

landonorris mother father

-> yourusername child

-> maxverstappen1 no

-> username ah yes the four family members mother father child and no

username THE HEART THE EVERYTHING THEM

username they STILL don't follow eachother LMFAO

[luviisabella]

heyyy, I really loved your post about the afro-latina reader, so I wanted to ask if you could do one about an afro Latina reader entering 1-a after being transfered to the school, and when she walks in he just cant take his eyes off her. You can either continue it or end it there, I just really love your writing

authors notes: this is so cute, i love love love this idea because he wouldn’t definitely be staring hard at reader and would probably be secretly cursing himself wondering what it is about her that’s making him feel this way. ah I love it and thank you sweetheart for the compliment, im so glad you love my writing I really appreciate it doll 💗💗

context: university au (18+), FLUFF

[8:35am]

You looked up at the large “UA” logo on the front of the school. You were aware the university was large but seeing it in person for your first time was completely different. It was the best university in Japan, you were blessed to have gotten in through recommendations and your parents making good money also helped with securing a good house local to the school.

The uniforms were super cute too, a white long sleeve button down, a dark blue tie, a slightly lighter shade of blue jacket, dark blue skirt, and socks that were black or tights. Since it was the middle of fall you chose to go with socks seeing as they were a bit thicker. You styled it with cute black flats to match your outfit and your pretty soft curls out in half up-half down with a bow in the back. Honestly you loved the uniform, it looked so good against your skin tone and your brown eyes always popped out in blue.

You took the steps to class as directed by the principal. You met him once on a video call when discussing the arrangements and acceptance for you in terms of being welcomed into U.A. Finally you reach the door… it’s huge you thought to yourself. You sighed before opening the door and stepping in.

—

“This is the new student, y/n. She was welcomed through recommendations and came all the way from […..], you will treat her as another classmate. Any issues involving her are solved through me.” Mr. Aizawa was always a bit monotone when he spoke, but he was so sweet to you.

Before he finished he activated his quirk, everyone tensing at the seriousness in his voice.

“Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes Mr. Aizawa” it was a bit funny seeing everyone speak not only at the same time but so scared, you look over at him and notice him sigh.

“Welcome, please take a seat. The one in front of Bakugou is open, that’s the kid with the spiky blond hair.” He pointed as he directed you towards the seat.

“Thank you” you smile at him as he heads back to the front of the class and begins taking. You smile at the blond, Bakugou was it? He wasn’t even looking at you.. the minute you smiled he turned to face the window in what looked like disgust.

Mr. Aizawa had a formula on the board and offered a ‘get out of exam’ ticket for anyone who could finish it and solve it. You stuck up your hand confidently and so he chose you.

You walked up to the board, taking the chalk from his hand as you began solving it.

—

Sero cocked his head to the side when he noticed Bakugou intently staring at the board. It wasn’t unusual for Bakugou to be paying attention, he was top of the class and always took his academics seriously.. but it looked like he was staring at something else.

“What are you staring at?” the question from Sero caught Bakugou off guard as he sucked his teeth.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Despite his words his tone of voice was softer than usual.. Sero couldn’t help but glance at you and then back at Bakugou.

“She’s pretty isn’t she?” Sero smirks as he asks Bakugou.

Bakugou rolls his eyes but they never leave your figure as you continue writing on the board.

You are pretty, you’re captivating to look at, and no matter how much he wants to he can’t pull you from out of his point of view.

—

“Well done y/n.” Mr. Aizawa exclaims as he looks over your work on the board, you softly smile and find your way back to your seat.

As you get back to your seat you place your hands on your desk and without realizing your pencil stumbles off your notebook and onto the floor.

Landing right under Bakugou’s desk.

You turn around and apologize before bending down to pick it up, what you saw was him scoff and roll his eyes.

What you didn’t see was him place his hand on the corner of his desk to make sure you didn’t hit your head.

He thinks you didn’t notice but you did and as you sat down you smiled.

—

Class ended and everyone left. You packed up a little slower than usual and waited until everyone was gone, Bakugou being left. You step in front of him as he tried to walk past you.

“The hell is your problem?” He looks down at you, a slightly scowl on his face but you know he means no harm.

You stick your hand out to him.

“Im y/n, I wanna get to know you.”

His eyebrow quirks up as he looks at your hand.

“I know your name dumbass. Why should I care?” He crosses his arms and looks at you with a slight grin.

—

“Because judging from the way you stared at me in class and made sure I didn’t hit my head on the desk…

I know you wanna get to know me too.”

I am so sorry it took me so long to reply !! I had this in my drafts for a while but I’ve been moving into uni and taking classes so I’ve been sleepy and didn’t make that much time to write !! I’m trying to get back into it cause it’s very comforting but I hope this was okay for now, I plan on still writing for Afro-Latina reader. Thank you again for the request pretty 💗💗

[evilfrogcereal29]

Mmmm so high, don't smoke kids the bong tells you awful things....

Can't stop tginking about aware!cod character aus. Where cod is just a video game and ur just a super fan, but for some reason in ur copy of the game, all (or only some you can decide) of them are aware, and like, deeply begging for you to pick them. They crave your attention.

Bonus points if it becomes a yandere/obsessed situation (i guess the term yandere has become outdated and offensive but im not sure? Idk i had someone ask me not to use it once cause they said it has bad orgins....but i still see stuff labeled 'yandere![character here]' stories everywhere, so idk if its still appropriate to use but idk any other way to put it except obessed but i think that still doesnt get the point across well... I'm weed rambling, someone lmk if its still ok to use yandere... If not mb, I'll use a different term, back to sin)

They start making their way out of the game into your entire pc/console. Waking up to find your screen turned on, with cod loaded up, despite you definitely being sure that you 1- turned the tv off, and 2- didn't even play cod today.

Oooohhh god the days you don't play cod are HELL for them. Please please please play everyday :( they get so lonely without you. Its so cold and lonely inside here. Please (y/n).

But since cod is kinda... Shit... Nowadays... Just being a bit honest its gotten cash-grabby....you play less and less, and they know its not their fault, but it makes them ache. They need to get out of here. Before you forget about them forever. PLEASE. don't forget about them. If they get into your phone somehow (you had your phone charger plugged into the same outlet your pc/console was plugged into, they just took a short jump and hop across into your device :] no biggie) it makes them so happy when they see you liking posts about them on Tumblr ^\\^!!!! Especially when the posts are... Rather naughty...

Always listening in on your, watching you from your pc webcam or phone camera.

Imagine if they leave the game their model dissapears too... So the dissapointment you might feel if you load uo the game again, and think your game is glitched when, seemingly no matter how many times you relaunch, uninstall and reinstall, and reset the game entirely, the character(s) won't show up :(( what the fuck man?

If you buy another copy there won't be any issues actually :) these ones arent alive!! Although... I can't promise your safety much longer, as doing this is a surefire way to piss the hell out of whatever character is on you, probably spending most of their time at this point in your phone, or if you have an apple or techy watch, that, since its close to your skin and they love that! But playing with an unaware version of them is so... Jealously inducing. You were dumbfounded when your entire screen turned off, and every light around you started flickering wildly... What is going on? Maybe you shouls call an electrician? (He won't be able to remove them, nothing will)

They'll find a way out one day♥️ its just a matter of time sweetheart, or maybe they'll pull you into their world, being digital ain't so bad darling... let them show you... Get closer to the screen.

It does not help my bf got me a bundle with nikto, his normal skin, AND his powercell skin... So im brainrotmaxxing currently.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk☺️ love u guys /p (you may think the /p stands for platonic but NO, its standing for Passing out...goodnite)

[evilyurissk]

SasuSaku fanfic recs !

( summaries and fics belong to the authors )

posted : 6/4/25 , updated : 6/10/25 .

- " Nocturne Interludes " by bttrmllw

"AU. In which Sakura is the Moon Spirit and Sasuke absolutely knows. Alternatively: Sakura is the one who leaves for a change."

- completed , chap 6/6

- " The Time Being" by CatFlorist

"Time-slipping is a side effect of wielding the Rinnegan. When Sasuke slips through time, he always goes to Sakura, whether he wants to or not."

- completed , chap 8/8

- " what a pretty weed, she is " - anonymous author

"Team 7: Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura, Uchiha Sasuke.”

"Sasuke feels like a black hole has opened up in his stomach and is cannibalizing him in punishment for his failure. He had been so careful. Keeping his reactions to her neutral. But someone noticed. Now he’s on a team with her and Itachi will know."

- completed, chap 1/1

- " Rays of Spring Sunshine " by sparklyfaerie

" Sakura had been by his side since he lost his family, following him around since they were seven years old, trying to ease his loneliness in whatever way she could. He didn’t even know why he allowed it. He just silently allowed her to claim the seat next to him at the beginning of every term. "

- completed, chap 23/23

- " Love Bite " by Dovey

" Sasuke is an alpha- whos instincts tell him to nurture, care for, and be the very best alpha by providing the nicest of potential homes. Sakura is an omega- whos instincts tell her to protect what's hers, claim everything and guard it with her life, and destroy anything that hurts her loved ones.

"They're not exactly typical, but you don't hear anyone complaining about it. "

- completed, chap 1/1

- " again & again " by AntisocialFlutePlayer (orphan_account)

" alternate universe sasusaku one shots "

- not completed, chap 21/?

- " You're Not Gay?? OneShot SasuSaku " by Xoxoblossom02

" Naruto told Sakura that he is dating Sasuke. Sakura never questioned it. Years later she tells Sasuke she has been trying to give him alone time with Naruto. He, Shisui, and Itachi are confused. The truth comes out and tensions come out leading to our favorite couple sasusaku getting together and Fugaku giving Sasuke the talk. "

- completed , chap 1/1

- " A family thing " by desolate butterfly

" AU, Sasusaku, Itasaku crack . What if Itachi never killed his clan? Well then he'd just have to find other ways to be evil, wouldn't he. "

- complete, chap 1/1

- " candid heart " by iwasbitch

" In which the ever elusive Uchiha accidentally ingests a truth serum. Chaos ensues, and Sasuke spills some secrets. "

- completed, chap 1/1

- " the warmth that draws me to you " by DeepPoetic Girl

" Something about Sakura has always felt so enticing, in the most welcome ways. There is a gentle warmth in him that he only feels when he's around her, and he craves it "

- completed , chap 1/1

- honestly, if ur looking for SasuSaku fics just read anything by DeepPoeticGirl !

- " Hogwarts " by scriptblossom

" Just because a guy has love potions in his bags, sends his snake to deliver gifts to a girl, or tampers with the girl’s broomstick so that she has to ride on his in class, doesn’t mean he has a huge crush on her. Claiming that the food on the Slytherin table is worse than the food on the Gryffindor table so that he can sit with her, that’s another story. "

- complete, chap 2/2

- " I want you to be okay " by chronicAngel

" Her eyes are so soft, and he doesn't think anyone has looked at him with so much concern since his mother died. "

- complete, chap 1/1

- " Louder than words " by SouthSideStory

" Sakura hasn’t uttered a single word since the day her family died, but Sasuke is determined to hear her, one way or another. (No Uchiha massacre AU.) "

- complete, chap 3/3

- " Show Me How " by Joana789

" She turns her head when a thought strikes her – one she immediately feels ashamed of, one she promises herself she’ll never tell anyone about – that now, after so many years of trying, training, subconsciously doing her best to accommodate, adjust and adapt, now, when she stands in front of her own parents’ graves Sakura truly, finally fits in her team.

Sakura's parents die. She has her own way of coping. "

- complete , chap 1/1

- " open my chest and colour my spine " by saintalicent

" He doesn’t mind the routine. It’s an easy pattern. He wants to get used to this. "

- complete, chap 2/2

- " Hatsukoi " by sparklyfaerie

" Sasuke leans away as the girl turns to him, and his mother doesn't need to be any closer to guess as to the expression on his face. The girl's body language changes in an instant, and Mikoto recognises the posture of a little girl in love. It's kind of adorable. "

- complete , chap 15/15

- " Out There " by Joana789

" For a moment, he aches for this different future, one he saw but one that was never his; envies this different Sasuke who was spared so much pain and so many mistakes.

Then, he decides it’s high time to go back home. "

- complete, chap 1/1

- " Dispatch " by okashira

" A comprehensive collection of online articles, magazine clippings, etc. documenting the dating history of pop stars, Uchiha Sasuke and Haruno Sakura.

(AU in which the K in Kpop means 'Konoha.') "

- complete , chap 2/2

- " The Girl Who Waited " by KuriQuinn

" Somewhere along the line while she was on his team, learning to become a shinobi alongside him, Sasuke stopped being just a good-looking, smart boy to her. Sakura got to know him – the darkness he wore like armour, and the light he only revealed in his rarest, most unguarded moments. "

- complete , chap 1/1

- " Layers of Distance " by ivyspinners

" The Forest of Death is not the place for revelations about friendship, strength, and darkness within. Too bad Sasuke's got no choice in the matter. "

- complete, chap 1/1

[starringthesturniolos]

bite me(part 4)- matt sturniolo

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4

summary: matt hates your guts but all of that changes when he wakes up and finds out your his mate.

contains: vampire!matt x reader, highschool au! (18 years old), dark themes, death, smut (not in this part)

——————————————————————————

“well its three am. i thought your lazy ass would be asleep” matt sighs “but if you want to go now we can, shes definitely up. let me call her and let her know. be ready in ten minutes.” he emphasizes the ten like a father talking to a child that can’t manage time.

i didn’t even get bitter about it though, instead, my heart pangs at the thought of matt being on good enough terms with a girl to be calling at 3 am. “just the mating bond” i mutter to myself as i peel my clothes from the day before off in exchange for new ones. as soon as i walk out the room, matt is right there.

“awww, is someone jealous? don’t lie, i felt it sweetheart. i wanna hear you say it. say you want matt alll to yourself. go on” he teases me relentlessly causing my cheeks to heat up. “shut up” i groan but then decide to tease him back. lets play on this mating bond thing while i still can

i smirk and walk up to matt and place my hands on his chest. his eyes darken and his hands are clamped to his sides, probably to stop himself from touching me too. i sigh at the fact and then make my move.

“im all yours, matt.” i say seductively. “aren’t you mine?” you question looking up at him with doe eyes. matts gaze darkens even further and he can’t stop himself from grabbing my waist and bringing me closer. he dips his head down and i think he’s going to kiss me. instead he brushes his lips against my ear, “what are you doing to me?” he whispers more to himself then to me. i smirk before pulling away “nothing.” i shrug, “didn’t know the mating bond could take away your ability to answer simple questions”, i add nonchalantly. matt rolls his eyes at this. “you are sooo annoying, i can’t wait till im rid of you” he says turning his back on me and walking, a silent way to tell me to follow. i do, laughing at the effect i have on him.

we walk outside to matts van and are met by chris. “your sitting in the back” matt snips, looking in chris’ direction. “y/n your up front with me” he says choosing to not look at me.

“come on man, your still mad about that?? i was just trying to help!” chris practically whines. matt just huffs and grabs me, practically throwing me in the frontseat. chris climbs into the back dejectedly and i ask whats on my mind.

“chris, not that i mind you here, because i don’t, but why ARE you here?” i question. this was a problem strictly between me and matt. my mind reels at the thought that i actually would have preferred it to just be me and matt. a day ago i literally didn’t want to sit next to him in class….

he sighs and i look back and am suprised by the pain on his face. “my mate was already dead when she was given to me.” he whispers. just by being around matt, i can tell how big of an effect the bond can have, and i can’t imagine how sad he must be at the loss. “i’m so sorry, chris” i say softly. even matt looks sorry for him. he looks at his face through the review mirror while starting to reverse out of the driveway. chris just shakes his head, trying to shake the feelings away.

“its okay, i’m sure madi will be able to make everything go away.” chris offers me a half smile. “i hope so” i say giving him a reassuring smile in return before turning to matt. i roll my eyes at his sour face, he’s clearly jealous but he refrained from saying anything because of the nature of the conversation. “are you going to get jealous every time i talk to ANYONE but you?? he’s your brother! and who the fuck is madi?” i say, cringing at the jealous tone in my voice. matt side eyes me before answering my questions. “can’t exactly help the way i feel, i told you that, so stop punishing me for it. i don’t see chris complaining!” he adds looking for support. “yeah no not at all” chris chirps awkardly at being included in the argument. i’m about to say that chris is just trying to get back in his good graces but matt continues. “and madi’s practically our sister, right chris?” chris nodds in agreement and i sigh. “how exactly is she going to help us?” chris eyes matt suspiciously after i asked.

“what? you didn’t tell her?”he questions and i look to matt, whose eyes are set on the road ahead of us. tell me what??

“shes a witch.” matt says matter of factly.

——————————————————————————

we pull into the driveway and a pretty girl with long black hair is standing outside waiting. sister my ass.

chris runs out of the car to greet her. “MADI!!!” he runs and jumps into her arms sending her into a fit of giggles. i couldn’t help but smile at the sight. maybe shes not so bad after all…

“are you going to get out of the car, or are you gonna stare at my brother some more??” matt snips. “oh my god can you stop with that” i say while climbing out the car. in an instant, madi is by my side.

“Hey, y/n, its nice to meet you. you’re super pretty by the way.” she smiles warmly at me and all my weariness about her fades away. “thank you, so are you” i smile back at her. she turns to matt, who is looking off into the distance pretending to not hear about anything we’re saying. “what brings you here, tough guy?” she knew my name but she didn’t know why i was here?

“i’m looking to get rid of the mating bond between us” he gestures to me and him. madi’s eyes widen slightly. “you know that if you get rid of the bond both of you die, right?” she says questioning why he’s even trying. i spin around to matt, hurt coursing through me. “you’d rather die than be with me?”, my voice wavers with hurt and i hate it. quite frankly, i didn’t want to die either, so he didn’t just put me at risk but both of us. matt grabs my shoulders and shakes them. “relax, i’m not dying for your sorry ass.” he scoffs before turning both me and him back towards madi, “i’m just looking for a cheat code, if there is one.” he says. “i think i know what you mean” she replies and turns beckoning us to follow her into her home. we walk in and i can’t help but oggle at how nice it is. she looks back and sees my face. “you like it?” she laughs. i smile and nod, continuing to look around the house. matt places his hand on my back gently to help guide me. his touch grounds me and i suddenly feel apprehensive about losing this feeling. not him, just the feeling, you think to yourself, trying to justify your emotions

“what are you thinking about?” matts eyebrows are furrowed clearly confused on the sudden onslaught of emotions. “the telepathy shit is a real pain in my ass.” you sigh completely avoiding his question. matt chuckles, “you’re telling me.”

me, matt, and madi end up in a office type space. there’s a desk in the middle of the room and it has a large book in the middle of it. madi puts some glasses on and flicks her wrist. the book goes flying open and lands on a certain page. wow, that was so cool, you gush over her abilities. for a while, the room is completely silent as madi reads. matt grabs my hand and i feel his nervousness surge through me. i don’t know why but something in me wants to comfort him and tell him everythings going to be alright. i don’t though, because lets be honest, i have no idea.

“ahhh, okay” madi starts taking the glasses off her face. “i can take away the symptoms of the bond, like the telepathy and the-“ she clears her throat, “sexual urges” she raises her eyebrows. “andd the death by distance” my own eyebrows raise and she sighs.

“he really didn’t tell you anything did he? if you had spent even a week apart both of your bodies would secumb to the bond. without the other, the bond won’t let either exist” she says matter of factly and i note that she is really well versed in the subject. chris comes in to the office and sits awkwardly in one of the chairs, waiting for me and matt to be done so he could talk to madi.

madi isn’t quite finished telling us about her solution though. “but i can’t take away the other thing” matts grip on my hand tightens and i look up at him. “what’s she talking about??” i say softly seeing his nervous face. “if you die, i die. and your human, so your chances of dying are wayy higher.” he breathes out and an uncontrollable shiver goes through me.

“but its okay, matt, i can do a protection spell on her. nothing will harm her after that, trust me.” she says trying to ease him and i feel his nervousness let up a little. she continues, “its an incantation and i can’t do it until sunrise. its not easy but i can manage” she says confidently. “do you want me too?” she ask softly while looking at our conjoined hands. much to my disliking, matt lets go of me.

“do it.”

@bbernard-03

@sturnthepot

@hoeformatt

@sturtriple16

@faygo-frog

@sturniol0s

@katie-tibo

@cindylcuwho

[autisticlancemcclain]

fic rec friday 58

hello and welcome to fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.

The Value of a Moment by @a-fools-errand

When Lance’s previously obsolete skills in language suddenly become very useful, he finds himself wondering why aliens can’t account for the fact that humans, particularly him, need sleep and would prefer linear timelines. (Or: an Arrival AU because I love that movie)

yall OBSESSED does not begin to cover it. i have never read a fic where lance was so goddamn cool. and in like. the insanest of ways?? like of course lance is a polyglot but THIS....this is a whole new level. i havent even finished it fully yet but like god this thing is so fucking cool. if ur looking for a longfic stop looking

2. Rest Stop by @flaming-potato-arsonarson

Lance wasn't like the rest of the world. And he had never had a loving mother tell him it made him stronger for it. So he told himself, gathering up his courage and grit to face a world of winged humanity, when he, in fact, has no wings and turns into a mermaid instead. A world that wants him to die. So he'd keep this secret like a knife in his boot, a sharp weapon until he died on his own terms. Not because of who he was. Except, Team Voltron isn't so sure why Lance is all rough edges and sharp points about showing off his wings. Or acting like a member of the Flock in general. It's clear he cares for them, but he's never shown an intimate part of him. Until he has to.

oh god this has gotta be one of my CLASSIC fics. read it a few dozen times. i read it right when it came out, six ish years ago (goddamn), i can remember curling up in my old bunk bad and eating this up as the hours ticked by. i was HOOKED. my jaw was dropped my eyes were glued. could not get enough. if youre looking for mermaid lance with a twist....brother this is it

3. Looking for Rain by @thewriter2

Like most things, it starts with the little things: his smile, his confidence, his talent. Eventually, all these little things add up to one big thing that threatens to crash over them like a heavy rain. But, maybe that wouldn't be a bad thing. Maybe something beautiful would come from it. A 5+1 (really a 10+1) of Lance and Keith falling in love.

oh god guys..... @thewriter2 knows how to fucking haunt you. if a 10+1 (!!) isnt enough for you, i want you to know this line has been echoing in my head since i first read: "He looks at you like you’re a storm and he’s a desert desperate to drown." UM??? EXCUSE ME???? SIMILE OF ALL TIME ACTUALLY???? keith being so so visibly obviously in love with lance is my actual roman empire shit never leaves my mind

4. Astronauts by @thewriter2

When they entered the Blue Lion, Keith was Lance’s rival--the person Lance was working so hard to surpass. But slowly, Lance found himself thinking of Keith less as a rival and more as something close to a friend. So of course, Lance’s traitor of a heart decided that it would be Lance’s kind of friend that it would fall in love with.

tags to sell you: "keith is a dork but lance loves him anyway" (dorky keith my beloved), "hunk is an a+ friend" (yes he is), "lance is a lovesick fool" (yeah), and "allura is older sister goals" yes yes YES you get it. and like....while keith pov is my favourite to write by far, lances pov as he realises he is in love....that will always hold such a special special place in my heart

5. his own worth by frogsterz

In the middle of the conversation, Lance stops talking and no one notices. It’s not like he had been leading the conversation, for he hadn’t been, but somehow the fact that his lack of input or opinion isn’t noticed tightens the grip loneliness has on his heart. He looks down at his food, his face burning, his throat tightening up.

now usually anything but team as family isnt my deal. im not big on classic langst. but keith as a knight in shining armour.....what can i say i am weak willed. deeply. also " It’s what made it worse. I miss home and I miss being held and the rain, and I loved you. I thought you hated me." got me so bad got me WEAK like i have never recovered from that line and i doubt i ever will

that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!

[kingprinceleo]

Literally everything about Vampire Au since i irreversibly fucked everything up and im just so damn tired:

Early timeline stuff (google docs link)

everything else not on the doc-

eggman is around 100 years old and has been butting heads with gun for control of angel island the entire time

angel island is 1 main island (master emerald) and 7 smaller islands (1 chaos emerald each), GUN hid a chaos emerald on each island to keep them from being easily discoverable and to use their power to maintain the barrier, originally built by gerald as a safety feature

GUN has total control of 3 of the islands, they are more cyberpunk in terms of infrastructure, the further islands are called The Wilds, where mobians inhabit the old buildings from the flood. sonic fights to keep gun from expanding their reach further

Ghost, the head of gun, is an ancient vampire and one of the first Mobian vampires. scourned by what the mutations did to them, they want to kill the vampires of angel island to have their own peaceful domain far away from the surface world

shadow behaves differently depending on how close he is to GUN territory, before Ghost had lost shadow, his mind was altered to better fit Ghosts mission. he was meant to be used as a weapon to hunt and kill vampires, the closer he is to the city, the stronger Ghosts mind control over him is. though ghost isnt aware shadow is awake and running around yet, the mind control is a passive state shadow is in and doesnt realize. he only has a stronger drive to kill near the city.

first arc was meant to just be generally kinda silly, it wasnt meant to be super serious- hoax and shadow make their blood deal in order to get hoax to stop stealing shadows blood bags knukcles, defensive on shadows behalf, clocks hoax so hard he turns back into sonic, thus being the first person to learn about hoax being sonic (outside of amy and tails, who helped come up with hoax)

knuckles learns about the master emerald buried under his fucking pizza store. what the hell. and starts learning about his past as the last echidna from tikal, whos been haunting the pizza place until she was able to get knuckles attention

amy really wants to prove her devotion to sonic by making him a Light ring, a ring with magic infused strong enough to fully protect him from the sun. she is not a powerful enough witch to do it so she starts researching

tails is a shithead and cosmo tries to teach him about friendship

sonic starts learning about chaos emeralds while dealing with eggman etc etc

one of eggmans plots was to mess with the moon pull during a blood moon, driving up bloodlust in vampires and starting chaos

tails vampire reveal

rouge discovers sol and introduces mephiles and silver etc

eggman has a blood mining operation in sol (bc the planet is a living creature)

-arc 2 , generally

the chaotix send tails to gay baby jail , gets broken out by silver mephiles

amy starts getting real desperate bc she keep failing to make the ring, she starts checking out dark magic due to her own shortcomings, being suggested by eggman who is interested in the ring himself. she finds sol alongside sonic and starts researching more magic with blaze and other castle scholars. an attempt at dark magic goes wrong with blaze, the queen of sol. amy is exiled and back to square one, now even more desperate, she keeps trying with dark magic. unknowingly, poisoning her own magic and corrupting the gemstone embedded in sonics staff

shadow starts getting a teeny tiny bit comfortable with hoax, and also is informed about the master emerald by knuckles. tikal remembers him and he starts to realize something isnt quite right in his memories. time for a series of unfortunate events

he delivers pizza to the eggman himself, who talks remorse about what he put shadow through, but angles it in a way to spark further hatred for sonic in shadow, stating sonic influence is what made him have regrets

amys dark magic usage starts corrupting hoax himself, because he is a product of amys magic. the darkness slowly chews away at his mind, and if they dont fix him, sonic will become a mindless servant of dark gaia forever. this is the shadow hoax reveal. It takes all of the friends & shadow to be able to fight and wrangle hoax, once the gemstone is smashed, shadow gets to see hoaxs true form, sonic. shadow tries to KILL HIS ASS

mephiles, the shape shifter, has taken interest in shadow and his determined to make his life more miserable by shifting into rouge and biting him, exposing to shadow rouge has been hiding being a vampire from him the entire time theyve known each other shadow fucking snaps and fucks off to go work for GUN, all vampires are the same lying conniving bastards, and he wants to kill them very dead

shadow captures sonic and he gets held in the central GUN base. sonic finds out Ghost has been not only killing vampires, but draining their lifeforce to keep themselves alive bc theyre old as shit. rouge is also exposed as a vampire (the chaotix supervisor) and gets held in a cell as well. the chaotix think this whole thing is fucked up actually and bust their queen outta there. knuckles and Co come to save sonic, shadow and knuckles have a stand off about both being the protectors of the island and how their friendship has gone out the window if knuckles chooses sonic. Knuckles escapes with sonic

The realizations DO NOT STOP COMING. BOOM. GUN DOCUMENTS. maria was a vampire womp womp. gun killed her for it. Shadow is horrified and the memories start flooding back. Ghost doesnt like this. Get in the Suit Boy. we are gonna kill these heathens <3 ! mephiles takes control of shadows body but no one is aware bc hes inside the fnaf suit. terrible day for him mephiles is gonna use the eclispe canon to drill to the earths core and reunite with iblis ! the only reason he was in sol in the first place was bc he thought blaze was the iblis trigger

everyone is OBVIOUSLY trying to stop this including eggman what the hell shadow this isnt worth it what the fuck

mephiles casually tosses shadows body into the core of the earth once hes done with him and woah. silver and sonic solaris fight woahhhhh vine boom vine boom

arc 3 !

no more angel island barrier, sonic has left to pursue eggman on the surface since hes up to no good, leaving the protection of angel island to knuckles. amy has also left for the surface to spend time on her own and try to learn magic for herself

shadow , barely alive, is fighting his way tooth and nail from the core of the earth.

a year of time passes and during that year- sonic gets up to little adventures, shadow learns to live life on the surface knowing all of the truths about himself now. they both realize they kinda had a crush on the other guy.... damn thats unfortunate.

Ghost no longer has the chaos emeralds but has Created the phantom ruby as a replacement, and has raised infinite from the dead to be its bearer. they create a fake Sh4dow. infinite gets to live out his tormenting shadows life fanfic for fucking killing him !! smh . infinte also uses Sh4dow to infiltrate Sol, Ghost has just discovered the pocket dimension on Their island and wants it gone. This is Shadows sol apartment btw. the fake bought it and he just. took it.

things are gradually getting worse on angel island and both sonic and shadow return. shadow is informed of the fake and teams up with rouge and knuckles to get rid of it flower ball happens around here, Sh4dow trying to fuck up sol somehow and shadow has to stop him. amongus time sonics been flirting with the wrong guy for a while. :{ embarrassing.

something something this leads to infinite and Ghost fight and they both die whatever who cares

so thats what ive been doing for like 2 years !! i . really fucking hate it tbh. all of this work feels so wasted and i feel so stupid. sorry for wasting your time for so long

i like the characters and i like what they have going on but like man,,,, all of the surrounding context just feels so miserably hopeless, it was all for nothing and i just. i want to sleep forever

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

March 15th

~*~

1. Looking for a post 1st seige burial mounds fic on ao3. It was a wip but it's been awhile so may no longer be the case. In it jc only participated in the siege as a cover to get close enough to his brother w/out endangering lotus pier. Since he leads the charge he finds wwx first and when wwx passes out after destroying the seal jc fakes wwx's death and smuggle him back to lotus pier & hides/kinda imprison him. But the longer they're together the more jc realizes a lot of the things he blamed wwx for aren't adding up (seeing through Jin manipulations).

Jc also forgot/didn't know about ayuan so when wwx wakes up he freaks out about where his baby adopted son is, but by the time jc gets back to bm yuan is no where to be found (implied lz had already got him) but jc and wwx think this means yuan is dead. Wwx is very depressed and becomes Jin ling's secret nanny whenever the kid is at lotus pier. In the most recent updates (at the time) a baby xue yang was introduced.

He saw a disguised wwx in a hidden area by lotus pier playing in the water and is basically like 'I'm cute and small too' and plots how to get himself adopted so he can also be pampered like the wealthy kid. I think there were some alternating povs. Might of been a Lan pov too, creating dramatic irony since both yuan and wwx are alive but neither side knows? Was setting up yunmeng bro reconciliation.

~*~

2. I'm looking for a specific fic, it was modern, WWX took LWJ to a concert of post modern, like synth? Chinese music and I think NHS told WWX about it?? It had some good song recs and I'm mainly looking for the the songs- if you guys could help me out? Thank you!!!! @recombinantdna

NOT FOUND! The Quiet Room by trickybonmot (M, 39k, WangXian, Modern AU, 1990s, Goth LWJ, Cellist LWJ, College Student WWX, House Hunting, Dating, Clubbing, San Francisco, Implied/Referenced Past Child Abuse, Mental Health Issues, Academic Disaster Aftermath, Getting Together, Repressed Teen Crushes to Strangers to Lovers, Homelessness, in the form of couch surfing, background NieLan) in which WWX finds LWJ being a DJ in a goth club in the 90s and it talks a lot about music. NHS is totally an enabler.

FOUND! show me a quiver, give me tonight by spookykingdomstarlight (E, 115k, wangxian, lwj/others, communication failure, mutual pining, artists, demisexual wwx, angst w/ happy ending) WY surprised LZ by bringing him to a performance of an artist LZ likes, H i d d e n f r a g r a n c e who plays electronic guqin. The sample songs can be found in the author notes in Chapter 10

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3. hi! im looking for a fic and the only thing i remember from it was wangxian (canon divergence, maybe arranged marriage but im not sure) in maybe caiyi?? sitting down at a noodle place, and there was a thing about how wwx loved the gusu dialect and kept pestering lwj to say something in the dialect, and he knew enough of the dialect to flirt or haggle so when lwj said an endearment term (i think it was something like sweetheart?) he froze and got all panicky about wwx recognising the word because he froze too, but then wwx just asks if he swore?? THANK YOU SO MUCH IF YOU FIND IT ive been combing my bookmarks and history for almost weeks now and im so close to thinking i made it all up

FOUND? Your Hand in Mine by cerbykerby (T, 20k, WangXian, Humor, Comedy, Pining, cursed to hold hands, Light Angst, Sharing a Bed, First Dates, Embarrassment, Fluff, bathing together, wwx is a menace to society, and lwj Suffers A Lot, Canon Compliant)

FOUND? Fentao-laoshi’s Guide to Cut-Sleeve Pleasures by occultings (microcomets) (E, 31k, wangxian, canon divergence, pining while fucking, friends with benefits, first time, cloud recesses study arc, practice kissing, sharing a bed, jealousy, getting together, confessions, happy ending)

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4. For fic finder: I have lost a modern-au fic where Lan Zhan is in the hospital, in a children’s wing, and Wei Wuxian visits a lot/volunteers there. Wei Wuxian has prosthetic legs and he gets a new red pair around the point I lost the fic. I am pretty sure I found the rec through this blog but I can’t find it again TT Help please!

FOUND? 🔒 some things go forward by everythingispoetry (T, 73k, WangXian, Modern AU, Hospitals, Teenage Drama, Slow Burn, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Happy Ending)

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5. First, thank you for everything that you do ! Your posts and recommendations and "I'm in the mood for" collections have kept my heart and soul busy for years now! I am honestly in awe of all the hard work and time you dedicate to both pages! 🥰

Unfortunately I don't remember much of the summary of the fic I'm searching for, but I wanted to try my luck. 🙈 It was a light modern dom/sub fic where WY accidentally sort of turned LZ into a sub. I think by giving him indirect orders all the time? And nobody noticed until WQ pointed it out? I searched through Ao3 with the light dom/sub tag for ages and then eventually gave up.

Maybe it rings a bell for you? 🙏🤞❤️ @papperlapapp1

FOUND? And They Were Roommates! or The Accidental Domming of Lan Wangji by DizziDreams (E, 21k, wangxian, Dom WWX, Sub LWJ, inexperienced BDSM practices, un-/under- negotiated kink, horny climbing, horny cohabitation, horny on main except by main I mean at a party surrounded by innocent bystanders, Praise Kink, Masturbation, Bondage, Lingerie, Orgasm Delay/Denial, omg they were roommates, Modern, BDSM, debatably a bit of dom drop, Public Masturbation, Edging, Getting Together, WQ has to come in and straighten this shit out)

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6. Okay so looking for a fic where lwj or wwx accidentally summon incubus/succubus wwx or lwj. (I can't remember who was the sex demon or who was the human but it is a wangxian fic)

So, the succubus needs food and it is, unsurprisingly, cum. As in they have to literally eat cum to survive. So the human is followed by this succubus/incubus everywhere they go to including his university.

The human does love feeding the sex demon and even lets him feed in the uni bathroom during breaks.

Does a fic like this exist? Does it ring any bell?

FOUND? An Array of Good Decisions by celerydragon (E, 11k, WangXian, Demon Sex Size Kink, Size Difference, Consensual Non-Consent, dubcon, Tongue Sex, Omegaverse, Humiliation, Mild Breeding Kink)

FOUND? Lan Wangji's Fullproof Guide on How (NOT) to Summon a Demon by fardimensions (E, 3k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Porn With Plot, but not a lot of plot, Incubus WWX, Demons, wwx has a tail, Wings, Interspecies Sex, Bottom LWJ/Top WWX, Anal Sex, Crack, Filthy, size queen LWJ)

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7. for the fic finder: it's a fic (dom/sub canon au?) where wei wuxian gave lan wangji a collar before he died. lan wangji keeps the collar for as long as he can but eventually the leather is too old and it breaks. there's a bunch of sadness but all is well when wei wuxian resurrects.

thank you for all you do!!

FOUND? Breathe Again by Sheehan_sidhe (E, 4k, wangxian, Grief/Mourning, Depression, Breathplay, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, POV LWJ, LWJ Has Feelings, Submissive LWJ, Crying LWJ, Grieving LWJ, Collars, Angst with an Eventual Happy Ending)

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8. for fic finder: my heart tells me it was a modern/modern with cultivation au, but my searches have been fruitless. i just remember our beloved wangxian dancing around each other, and the juniors being there with a similar problem. specifically, jin ling being tested at archery, and sizhui Totally Only There For Emotional Support And No Other Reason.

FOUND? with you, I am home by tellthemstories (M, 47k, wangxian, Modern Cultivation, fake dating for reasons, Meeting the Family, There Was Only One Bed, Casual Domesticity, wwx is oblivious in more ways than one, 'this fic is like emotional edging', this comment sums up the entire fic)

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9. heyI've been looking for a fic for a while.WWX and LWJ were in the turtle's cave of slaughter... they had no energy to fight and decided to do double cultivation.

When it comes to the part where WWX donates the golden core to JC.... during the surgery, WQ discovers WWX is pregnant, the double cultivation generated a uterus.

He is still captured by the Wen clan and thrown into the grave hill.He believes he lost the baby because of this and uses his resentful energy to survive and get revenge.

When he reaches the part at the end of the campaign where the sun falls, he goes into labor without knowing that he is still pregnant.

It's not Omegaverse.

Sorry if my writing is bad, english is not my first language @crazy-tai

FOUND? Impermanence, Transience, Permanence by Best Bepsy (BepsyGray) (E, 39k, wangxian, canon divergence, unplanned pregnancy, mpreg, gore, sunshot campaign, assumed miscarriage, medical procedures, childbirth, golden core reveal)

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10. Hello! I was wondering if anyone here knew of a fic that took place during the Wen Indoctrination? If I remember right, it was only one chapter, set mostly in the Untamed universe because Wei Wuxian and Wen Ning had worked together to make it seem like he was dead for the Wens after being locked in with that dog, but he was grabbed too early and basically paraded in front of the other disciples under the belief that he was dead. If anyone else has seen this fic, I'd be extremely grateful!

FOUND!🔒💖 the universe would turn to a mighty stranger by RavenclawLoki (T, 11k, wangxian, Angst, Eventual Fluff, Some mentions of blood, it looks like someone is dead but!!, it is okay, everything is going to be okay i promise, First Kiss, Canon Divergence, Wwx and lwj know they're in love, They just don't know the other loves them back, Everyone Lives AU, Hurt WWX, Hurt LWJ)

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11. For your next fic finder, I'm looking for a modern wangxian dating reality tv au. It's omegaverse and in the first half of the show, everyone is paired up, but in the second half of the show, it's wilderness survival with the alphas trying to catch the omegas. Wwx is a career omega who is trying to get a cash prize instead of an alpha. @leahlisabeth

FOUND? 🧡 shoot your shot – hot or knot by defractum (nyargles) (E, 51k, WangXian, Modern AU, A/B/O Dynamics, Reality Show, Hunger Games Setting, Canon-Typical Violence, Extremely Dubious Consent, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Humor, Additional Warnings In Author’s Notes)

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12. Guys I need help finding this story. So it’s about Wei ying being hit by this memory yao. And he is in pain. So lan zhan, lan yuan, lan qiren, lan huan, Jin rulan, and jiang cheng. They use this spell to take Wei ying bad memories. They hold onto this bad memories because they don’t want Wei ying to go through all of that and remember. Ofc they are traumatized but they love him, etc. sooo please if you know the name write in comments. I have been looking for it for DAYS @zodime101

FOUND? Window of the Waking Mind by mrcformoso (M, 8k, wangxian, LSZ & WWX, JC & WWX, Graphic depictions of violence, Major Character Death, Heavy Angst with a Happy Ending, Sad with a Happy Ending, Post-Canon, Torture, Golden Core Transfer, WWX Has Self-Esteem Issues, Hurt WWX, WWX Needs a Hug, WWX Needs a Break, Flashbacks, Curses, Night Hunts, Suicide, Starvation, Canonical Child Abuse, Canonical Character Death, Cannibalism, Although it was forced by the situation to survive, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, lots of comfort, Soft LQR, Learning To Communicate, Zidian Spiritual Tool, JC Tries, Reaction)

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13. hi! for the next fic finder — it was sizhui centered! him being raised by lwj but also wwx, but wwx is a ghost. and wwx has no recollection of his death and there was this one scene where he curls up around ayuans body and falls asleep and he wakes in the cloud recesses and i think he thinks he's being ignored? and then there was the whole realizing he was a ghost thing. and also lwj burying his body at the bm. pls help me T^T its Not "the dark doesnt frighten me, its mine" btw!

NOT FOUND! the moon, grown full by Deinde (T, 22k, LSZ & WWX, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Spirits, Identity Reveal, discussion of war crimes, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Hopeful Ending, Homecoming, reclaiming your name and identity, Names, Families of Choice)

FOUND! The Intervening Years by rosemu (G, 11k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, LSZ centric, Parent-Child Relationship, Wangxian is background, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort)

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14. Hi! For fic finder: I am looking for a canon-era fic where cultivators have golden blood and regular people have red blood. When Wei Wuxian loses his core his blood fades to red, which means he has to work harder to hide his wounds or they will give away his core-less state. I particularly remember the scene where Jiang Cheng stabs him in their “mock” fight WWX hides his wound with a cloak. He takes to covering up his body fully from head to toe to avoid showing any scrapes. Then after he is revived and Jiang Cheng whips him he purposefully shows the red blood to “prove” he isn’t WWX, then I think the core reveal happens when Jin Ling stabs him and everyone knows its him and they see the red blood too. Thank you!!

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15. I need help finding a fic, I didn’t get too far into it but I really want to finish it. I think it was a longer fic and I think it’s well known and/or already in a comp or itmf answer. I i remember is that the summary put wwx as a temporary head of the Jiang Clan, from the first few chapters I think he’s tricked/strong armed into this position by JC. He had some Buisness at koi tower or a conference that would take a while so he needed a filler and wanted WWX. I think it’s post-cannon and it had someone insulting WWX in the summary and something along the lines of a statement of spite and a declaration to prove said person wrong.

This is likely a terrible description but it’s all I have. I know I got the og link from this site so someone should recognize it… Help would be greatly appreciated.

FOUND? Twelve Moons and a Fortnight by stiltonbasket (M, 290k, WangXian, Humor, Slow Burn, Post-Canon Fix-It, Long-Distance Relationship, Epistolary, Love Letters, Family Feels, a-qing lives, teenage romance, Adoption, Romantic Comedy, Happy Ending, Weddings, Case Fic, Parenthood, Politics)

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16. Hello! For the next fic finder I have two fics:

A) the only thing I remember about this fic is that it deals with the "do not speak with Wei Ying" rule. Lan Wangji was really angry when he found out and was about to go yell at his uncle, but Wei Wuxian kept trying to stop him. I remember Wwx threw himself into a pond or down a hill or something to snap Lwj out of it? I don't remember anything else about the fic unfortunately.

B) vampire au where Wwx was a vampire and the lans hunted the supernatural I think? Wangxian had to work together to stop some evil thing. I remember Wwx's backstory was something like: Wen Chao captured him and locked him in a room with a vampire, thinking it would result in Wwx dying (cultivators couldn't be turned into vampires, they would just die). But Wwx had given up his core so he got turned and Wen Chao locked him in a house with Wen Ning. There was a fire and Wwx turned Wen Ning to save his life. I also remember a scene where Wwx tried to go into Cloud Recesses, but the wards wouldn't let him. He thought this meant Lwj wanted nothing to do with him, but it was just Lan Xichen updating the wards or something.

Thank you!

16A)

FOUND?🔒Scenes From Three Winters by LtLJ (G, 12k, wangxian, post-canon, romance, family feels, family issues, family drama, PTSD, body horror, bad parent LQR, happy ending) Wei Ying throwing himself in a pond and down a hill to snap LWJ out of anger at his uncle sounds a lot like what happens at the end of Scenes from Three Winters by LtLJ but it's not specifically the 'do not speak to Wei Ying' rule that's the problem (will probably need to read other fics in the series for context)

16B)

FOUND?🔒hear the monsters calling home by sundiscus (M, 8k, wangxian, Modern Cultivation, Vampires, Misunderstandings, Angst with a Happy Ending, blood drinking (romantic))

FOUND? And you must keep your soul/ Like a secret in your throat by athena_crikey (E, 48k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Vampire WWX, Cultivator LWJ, Case Fic, h/c Angst, Falling In Love, First Time, Reference to Torture)

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17. Hi!! for the next fic finder, I was hoping of you guys could help me find a fic where it takes place in post canon: lwj cultivates to immortality even though he didn’t want to be and wwx tried hard to catch up to him but later on passes away bc he was never able to. Lwj was so devastated and during wwx’s funeral, jc came to pay respects and lwj found out that jc has also become an immortal. lwj says something along the lines of “how dare you cultivate to immortality with his core?” it might be a reincarnation fic but that’s about all i can remember from it. Thank you so much! @makkachiin

FOUND!🔒Closer Than Eternity by Netrixie (T, 26k, WangXian, Modern AU, Reincarnation, an unhealthy addiction to starbucks, Immortals, Self-Doubt, POV Alternating, Minor Original Character(s), Canon Compliant, Post-Canon, Temporary Character Death, Angst with a Happy Ending, not for jc fans, This is not a reconciliation fic) The scene at WY's funeral is in Chapter 3.

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18. Hi! I hope my request will be clear, since English is not my first language, so I apologize in advance. I really want to read it, but I can't find a fic in which Lan Sizhui dies on a night hunt, saving the distracted Lan Zhan and Wei Ying. I don't remember many details, but I remember how the grief of A-Yuan's family and friends was described, and then A-Yuan was reborn. The fic was on ao3. @amelliss

FOUND? Setting Of The Sun by heartsdesire456 (M, 8k, WangXian , Character Death, Or Is It?, Grief/Mourning, Child Loss, Heavy Angst) i don't think it's reincarnation but this sounds similar to

FOUND? Our Son Reborn by RenaFair (T, 103k, WangXian, Mpreg, Deities, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Slow Build, There's smut, Rollercoaster of Emotions, baby a-yuan)

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19. hi, I’m look for a fic from ao3, I can’t really remember the plot but the end was wwx absorbing the tiger seal and in the process made a SILVER core. It happened in the burial mound (I think after the seal was stolen in Lanling but that might be a different fic)the timeline was before wwx’s first death because wen Qing was still alive @teasong

FOUND? ❤️ kick at the darkness 'til it bleeds daylight by AlfAlfAlfAlfAlf, tardigradeschool (T, 75k, WangXian, Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Eventual Happy Ending, Getting Together, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Inspired by The Parent Trap (1998), Kid Fic, teen shenanigans, two a-yuans, Fluff and Angst)

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20. Hello! I am looking for Wangxian fanfiction where Wei Ying and Lan Zhan are lovers before Demonic cultivation and Wei Ying hurt Lan Zhan as in canon later the reunite after 13 years or something like that @abz18699-blog

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[nart-is-a-monster]

questions about ur infection au because im obsessed

1. how did the infection start? was it a science test gone wrong or something else?

2. how long did the transition from human to not so human take for hugo and what was his relationship with varian like during it? did varian leave or did he refuse to abandon hugo?

3. wtf does hugo eat besides people? is he on a human only diet or does he eat like, small animals too?

4. you mentioned in another post that hugo wants to protect varian and would do anything to achieve that, so what does varian think of that? is he afraid of hugo or is he just a freak who’s into the idea of a yandere bug-monster hugo?

5. how anthropoid is hugo mentally? like, can he talk? can he think clearly?

im so sorry if this feels like an interrogation im just really intrigued by this au

1. they were playing around with being god and fucked up some DNA and somehow created a fucked up virus

2. it started weeks before he had the date with varian, at first it was just him acting a bit weird, appetite changes, more possessive over his things (and var too) and then when he had the date the physical transformation began.

hurtful? yes.

painful? oh, absolutely!

their relationship was would they won't they and Hugo planned to confess his feeling that day

var refuses completely to abandon Hugo even tho he can perfectly kill him.

3. small animals and other insects sometimes.

he knows var doesn't like the smell of blood so he avoids to eat those things close to him.

4. Var is coming to terms with his big fat crush turning into a monster and that monster is also very obsessed and protective over him so. #NeedThat

and obviously #freak, when in the history of ever have you seen a scientist not being a freak?

5. this part I haven't put so much thought into it but mostly he can articulate very hardly some words that sound more like grunts and growls. (Domi if you read this, yes this part is a bit inspired from your zombie au)

His conscience is asleep but primal needs and wants are at the front most of the time

sort of think of it as dissociation

you're there and you can see stuff but you can't really move or articulate and things happen as if it was 3rd person

when he is like "in control" sort of to say, or when he uhh reacts the most(?

when he's more conscient is when var is around

think of it as his grounding technique or something

he just wants var to be safe and to be happy

but he scares a little lot the living shit out of him

ignore the tear running down his leg.

[enbysiriusblack]

may i order 1 cup of transfem james potter

you may.

okay btw so this is lowk based on my gf (transfem & very james potter. however she has no clue who he is) but anyway. either changes her name to jamie for simplicity or is completely something different. im leaning towards something different but for continuity of talking about a female james, i will be referring to her as jamie.

i do kinda like hc'ing the wizarding world as being Less transphobic? so its still like very much a thing there but less so, bcs even though traditional pureblood families are all about keeping the family going/having kids with other purebloods, like. there's gotta potions & spells & shit to have asexually reproduced children or mpreg or whatever. like. its a magic world. they have something for it. & anyway jamie isn't rllyy in that kinda family that cares about that shit anyway. but i do think mia & monty wouldn't rlly get it at first. like they'd come to support her but at first they're just like "... you want to wear a dress? bcs of the queen music you & your friends listen to, filling your heads with all these confusing ideas?" (idk if you meant this in a modern au or not but im using queen anyway bcs i love queen. my fav band <333, plus jamie, modern au bcs it came out in 1984, would SO be inspired by brian may in i want to break free. like she'd go out & but that exact outfit just to sit on the sofa with rollers in her hair), but i see them researching it a lot & coming around to it, slowly staring to use the right pronouns and actually viewing her as their daughter (i can def see fleamont like. not saying it aloud. but he is def mouring the son he thought he'd have '& temporarily had').

jamie trying to grow her hair out but it seems to get stuck in this awkward middle phase of Bob.

(love vivi martinez. she's an icon. sorry old yj fandom thingy) anyway getting sidetracked again. oh my gf is currently practising makeup skills with a friend teaching her BUT. transfem jamie is lowk giving me bare minimum makeup unless its a special event but then like. she's fucking hiring a makeup artist anyway yknow. like jamie does a bit of lipgloss uhh okay im not gonna describe it, i haven't worn makeup in ages idfk.

anyway. oh i think its very interesting to think about in terms of her close-knit codependent all-boy best friend group. like if its ONLY jamie that's transfem?? how does that alter her relationship in the group?? ok like. i can't see her moving out the dorm unless she's like. actively forced to. & idk maybe they don't force her to move. but do the guys still see her as 'one of the guys' & how does that affect her??? idk why im just spitballing questions here that i litr do Not have answers to so like. idk im just gonna give several real quick apologies this post is so fucking long i doubt anyone is reading it all anyway 😭😭 but if she isn't forced to move & the guys still view her as 'one of the guys' then i fear she's 100% gonna be a bit distraught at that. like before coming out, i think its such this loud & consistent thought in her head of 'i dont want my friendship with them to change' & then she does come out and suddenly it doesn't change but where does that leave her? they expect her to be like them & like the same as before, but she's not & they just can't settle on that fact & ignore it. however the more likely scenario in my head is that it DOES change her relationship with them. she's a woman & they started their friendship with viewing her as a man, but i feel like they all understand & come to terms with it but they don't rlly know how to be anymore. they used to walk around naked, throw their dirty socks at each other, talk about girls they find hot, etc. but now jamie is one of the girls they find hot (im sorry but its the marauders. they litr are all always in love with james & sirius no matter what i dont make the rules). However yknow being trans isn't gonna make jamie & sirius lose their connection so ofc sirius understands her & what she wants from them & conveys that to peter & remus too. i think basically it may warp their friendship a little, have some mishaps and such, but wouldn't ultimately change anything in that regard.

now ive been rambing for a long time so i'm just gonna say things that are still in my head but just not explain them: exes hestia & jamie but they become v close friends after jamie comes out, t4t jily??????, wizarding world hormones: potion? probably. would jamie take it? yeah i think so, shaving? jamie barely grows any facial hair in the first place i fear. i can perhaps see her shaving body hair but i dont rlly see it bothering her tbh, she steals lily's hairbands constantly & lily is litr always looking for them, punch a transphobe. elvendork is unisex? elvendork is unisex.

[grassiestars]

🌻 :3

hi omg hi can i talk about my au. my zits band au. yeah of course i can. no specific topic just thoughts i have of these guys

i think theyd be that one band in secondary school (high school? middle school??) or college or something who cover songs in their dads garage. came across this band the other day called trueblood (yeah you can punch me. this might sound like someone asking who msi is, to which i respond, i don't know either.) and like theyre a really good band btw you should listen to them i really like their careless whisper cover. reminds me of my zits. this is how you know the fixation is taking over your brain btw.

on that note, i really think zedango is taking over as well lmao. still love my ranchers but zedango is a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, close second. im really surprised theyre not a popular ship like skizzpulse. maybe skizzpulse isnt that popular but compared to zedango, the former is like hollywood celebrity levels of popular. kind of insane because of how zed and tango act around each other like HAVE YOU SEEN THESE TWO??? HELLO??? enough about these two in general but i think the idea of them formerly dating is funny. theyre exes but they broke up on wonderful terms actually and still love each other platonically. don't think ill make this canon in the au but its a funny thought. also do you guys like aroace zed. maybe just ace. who knows he can be an enigma

i think i should actually start talking about the BAND and not just them kissing..... so zed is the lead singer right. vocalist. singer. whatever you call it. and i am making him play keyboard because it looks fun. im literally making zed and oli the same person. how did i do that. broken heart emoji. also i think more bands should 1. have keyboard players and 2. make them the lead singers. no longer shall the lead singer be a guitarist. where my drummer singers at. even a bassist lead singer is rare tbh. sometimes it's just a singer without an instrument which i find fascinating. how are you singing without keeping your hands occupied. that just feels so weird like there's no dance and nothing for you to play while singing so youre just holding the microphone How are you doing that.

moving on theres skizz. "youre not moving in zits order?!" no. skizz is the lovely lovely bassist i love bassists so much ill literally learn the bass guitar. im aware that he can play the drums but i think impulse is better suited for the role in the band. plus who says skizz cant play Both? haha checkmate losers he can play both because hes Skizz and hes Awesome. i think he would play the nastiest bass like ever in a really good way. absolutely sick bass lines. no one can hear the bass over the guitar or drums or everything else but when you can, its groovy as hell. this applies to a lot of bass lines btw. have i mentioned that he would be background vocals? its an idea that im on the fence about, but the thing is like impulse is busy absolutely demolishing those drums, and tango would be too shy to sing, which leaves skizz. and skizz is like an angel right. so his singing is different from his talking. yeah. yeah are you with me. no probably not but thats okay i HAVE been yapping for a while now..... but like hear me out guys. do you see the vision. background vocals skizz. hear me out.

yk how i said tango would be too shy to sing? is that ooc? im not sure i feel like he would refuse if asked to sing in front of their audience but would go all out in karaoke. which reminds me in their middle school band days they would follow the Classic Band Formula of two guitarists (one of which is the lead singer), one bassist, and one drummer. so technically zed kinda knows how to play guitar but prefers the keyboard if that makes sense. anyways during that time i like to think that maybe tango was the lead? AGAIN this is all just ramblings in my head that no one will read BUT STILL. i think tango would have been the singer at some point in their career before it eventually became zed. just a fun thought. BUT ALSO BUT ALSO theres this one fic that inspired this whole au called "Birdsongs". its rancher centric because of course what im reading is rancher centric, but more importantly, TANGO PLAY THE ELECTRIC VIOLIN!! THATS SICK!!!! I KINDA WANNA ADOPT THAT IDEA!!!!!!! ill ask the author soon enough if i can but the idea has been rotating like a microwave dish.... electric violin tango...... violin tango....... piano zedaph..... violin and piano duet........ tango and zedaph duet.................. oh my god.............. if you can't guess my favourite hermits i suggest you take off the blindfold

OH MY GOD I GET TO TALK ABOUT IMPULSE. first and foremost. impulse with a mullet? yes. impulse with lip piercings? yes. impulse with eyebrow piercings? yes. impulse with earrings and ear piercings? yes. impulse with eyeliner? yes. impulse with chokers? yes. impulses whole purpose in this au is to play the drums and be eye candy (/j). i just think itd be fun to make him a pretty princess because he is one. is this an appropriate place to put an impulse doodle i havent shared yet

wow what a stupid guy i cant believe he exists! i didnt draw the eyebrow piercings unfortunately 💔 but thats alright. anyways hes the drummer. hes cool i like him. not sure what else to say. is there lore in this au? no. so there's like nothing to address

OH on the topic of there being no lore— yeah there's no plot or storyline that i intend to make, unlike a bunch of popular aus ive seen out there. this one is for my own benefit and joy and comfort and have i mentioned joy? i just really like zits, theyre such a fun group with a fun dynamic and cute interactions. I love them so much its inevitable when an au spawns. on that note you should go watch their chained together stream from earlier today

[violet-moonstone]

im writing a melvika oneshot and idk when im going to get around to editing it but im impatient and i wanna talk about it

so its a knight/princess au in which sevika is mel's newly knighted guard

the fic takes place after mel has had the dressing down of her life because she challenged her mother during a council meeting, they ended up arguing in front of everyone, and mel left because of how hurt she was by her mother's words

then in her bedroom, shes fighting tears because she's so embarassed by how she acted and her mother's reaction. sevika comes to try and comfort her -- but its awkward because sevika isn't really good at talking about feelings, and up to that point, mel and sevika aren't really sure how they feel about each other

i really like writing mel in this fic because she's not quite where we see her in arcane yet in terms of her self confidence. she's younger than we see her in most of arcane -- a couple years older than she is in the flashback and a few years younger than at the start of season 1, so let's say late teens/very early 20s

I think being on her own in piltover did wonders for her sense of confidence, and while in season 2 she talks about having issues with self pity, we don't see very much of that in the show -- it gives me the impression that either the worst of her self esteem issues took place in her late teens-early 20s and/or she's the type of person who hides much of what she's feeling from others because she feels the need to be perfect at all times

so in my fic when sevika tries to comfort her, she's highly resistant because she's absolutely mortified at the idea that someone might see her in a moment of weakness, especially right after she was so publicly embarrassed

i really only meant to write one fic about them but now i have so many ideas for how this au could continue -- not necessarily in a plot-driven fic, but maybe a series of short fics that can be read together