#and instead just create for the joy of creating and making weird shit

[ladytabletop]

thinkin bout that "too many hats in game design" post.

I love to collaborate. most of my game design career has been collaborative. the problem is everyone's a game designer, and far fewer people are layout artists and editors and marketers and the like (in my experience). and at a certain point of collaboration, if you're the only one with a certain skillset, you ONLY get to use that skillset and there's no time for anything else.

not sure where I'm going with this except that I've been thinking about how much I love layout design but how I also don't love it enough to give up the part of game design that is actually designing the games.

[koshmasha]

I'm sorry. Poppy playtime obsession got to me😞

I feel bad for the toys and I won't rest until my mind comes up with a scenario where everyone lives!! However, that need alone is not enough to make me draw something.

While I love the toys' designs bc they're all such cutie patooties, their biology/anatomy just make no sense to me (well, most of them, i have little to no issues with Huggy and Kissy) >.<

That's why my autistic ass (powered by sheer confusion and need to make sense) decided to redesign the characters. Well, not the TOY designs themselves, but rather the ones that are alive and were previously humans- YOU GET IT

To justify my redesigns I also had to rewrite the story a little. Pardon me, but I don't understand how they made human/toy hybrids that are both organic and artificial... This makes zero sense to me, so in my rewrite Playtime Co. created their living "toys" via mutation and crossing human and other creatures DNA. Some Umbrella + Urbanshade shit, yea... Right now I'm done with Yarnaby and Doey, and there's also a Catnap redesign in progress (I'll show him later)

Here are some notes on my redesigns:

YARNABY

- I genuinely tried my best to figure out his vertically split mouth, but after doing some research I realised that this is probably anatomically impossible:')

- my main inspo for his mouth are snake jaw and some resident evil mutants. I used boss forms of Moreau and Lady Dimitrescu from re8 as references, bc they both have these weird segmented jaws, but i feel like Moreau's jaw gives off more of like, Yarnaby vibes, so my Yarnaby's jaw is similar to that of Moreau's

- instead of having fur made of yarn, he has real fur, cuz my Yarnaby is a fully organic creature, a mutated human. His fur is just dyed in rainbow colours, however it wasn't re-dyed since the hour of joy, so he isn't as aesthetically pleasing as he once was (still perfect to me)

DOEY

- again, Istfg I don't get the logic behind this living play dough. If he's made of clay why does he need food... The answers I'll never get. ANYWAY- Since I'm trying a mutation approach here, rather than ??? whatever we see in the game, I thought "what is the most play dough-like creature on earth?" And my mind immediately screamed OCTOPUS. I mean, they're squishy and gummy- They can squeeze through tight spots, they're colourful and look like jelly

- also while looking for octopus references, i found out that they have neurons in each of their tentacles, which allows them to multitask! I thought this was a cool explanation for how Doey's personalities control the body

- so yea, my Doey is basically a human/octopus mutant hybrid. That's it. Although idk how they merged three persons into one living being. My main idea is that boys just fused during the experiments... I'm trying my best here to make sense out of this all, don't be hard on me😞

[apdreadful]

Since the election I have deactivated some of my social media. Blocked some people I never should have ever engaged with to begin with, and unfollowed several accounts on IG that just don’t bring me joy.

And 911onabc was one.

Is it because Buck & Tommy didn’t end together? No. I’m a grown ass adult. I can be irritated by the something and not be dramatic or hateful about it.

It was because several storylines lately have been complete bullshit.

They start strong with solid good storytelling. But then..eh we’re bored. Only whatever we do absolutely can not make sense!

The lazy fucking way they wrote Christopher’s character out, and that weird ass doppelgänger storyline.

New season? Let’s start by putting Bobby and Athena through to some major disaster! Hey it worked last season! Let’s do it again! (Do not even get me started on that fucking drug cartel shit..what the hell even was that??)

We are only allowed to have one character or couple drama free at a time. And if we can’t come up with a plausible way to create discord or havoc, we’ll just do some stupid shit instead!

Spend several seasons showing the deep strong bond between Eddie and Christopher. Gavin’s family moves? Just make it something dumb..but fast! I know let’s have him get mad at his dad and ask to move in with his grandparents!! Never mind he’d never do that!

The amount of psychological trauma they have inflicted on Maddie. The near death experiences of Chimney. Jesus. Just what tf?

Hmmm. Karen and Hen..the fans would revolt if we broke them up. So let’s go after their kids!! And we can’t make it about them being gay! Let’s create this over the top villain Councilwoman Ortiz. Who’s the mother of that drunk coked up dude from the accident. Only we absolutely cannot have Hen or anyone defend what happened or shut that shit down by saying “Your son was a fucking menace and maybe if you hadn’t kept covering for him he would have gotten some fucking help and not caused an accident.” Also do not mention Hen was cleared of all wrong doing. Nope. Logic has no place here!

Ok so the fans have been clamoring for Buddie. But Eddie Diaz is straight. Period.

So hey! Let’s make Buck bisexual. And tell everyone we are getting him off the hamster wheel (because really, we’ve given him the emotional depth of a teaspoon for a while now)..And his love interest/boyfriend should be Tommy Kinard, who used to work at the 118, and we will invest time to give him a compelling backstory, and lay a ton of Easter eggs showing how richly we can mine this pairing and these characters.

And make them HAPPY for several episodes. Blissfully in love. And then totally out of the blue, let’s break them up. But the reason has to be complete bullshit, totally against character out of left field BULLSHIT. Like they should start out the episode great and about 80 percent in..wait! Let’s also make him the SAME Tommy Abbie from season one was engaged to before she started banging Buck! And then let’s make Tommy who is so into Buck it’s palpable, dump him because he’s afraid of getting his heart broken! Even though it’s one of the most tired, overdone, stupid tropes ever!!

Yeah. I don’t know WTF is going on in the writers room I would swear it’s like there’s this talented group of writers who start stories, and then they go out in Wilshire Blvd and ask some random person on the street to write the ending, but they have to do it, right there in the next 20 minutes.

No I am not going to stop watching 911 forever. I just don’t really want to see them on my IG. This last stunt, sparked only incredulity and scorn.

[ghostboyravenight]

have you ever noticed its always those people that go “trans mascs have no culture!” that simultaneously go “all trans masc music is sad ukelele music!”? like they think we should have our own culture, things that really make the trans masc community a community, but then the second we have something even resembling that, its cringe and bad and we should stop?

Oh 100%, they don’t want us to have a culture because they don’t want us to experience any kind of trans joy. I don’t exactly know why, but I have seen posts saying shit like we should be ashamed to want to be masculine, and it’s weird for us to get gender euphoria from acting like men or boys, so I assume it ties into that. They don’t want us to like ourselves, basically, because it threatens their radfem ideology to think that trans men want to be men, even when we’re curating our own type of manhood. We’re creating a manhood that isn’t rooted in the patriarchy and the oppression of women, which I think should be celebrated, but too many people (particularly on tumblr) simply can’t separate us away from “all men are bad”.

It also goes back to the erasure of trans men throughout history. It’s really weird to see some queer people essentially subscribe to the idea that trans men didn’t exist before a certain time, which is exactly what conservatives say about all queer and trans people but okay, I guess. But a lot of us were written out of history in the first place. Any mention of trans men before the 21st century were treated like women who just wanted the same opportunities as men, and a lot us weren’t spoken about during the AIDS epidemic, despite the fact that we died too. “Where were the trans men during important moments in queer history?” They died. They killed themselves. They were written down as women or lesbians in the history books, and never, never as trans men, or else they weren’t written down at all. There are still queer people out there who haven’t even heard of Lou Sullivan, a gay trans man who died of AIDS and had his life chronicled through his diaries.

So because of this mass erasure, we’ve only recently been able to tell people that we do exist, that we are trans, and that we are men, and now people are associating us with all the shit they didn’t like from the 2020 TikTok alt era, treating us all like teenagers, and acting like everything we do is just a cheap copy of trans women, instead of a culture that we’ve been trying to curate for centuries.

Honestly, fuck anyone who tries to call every single thing they associate with trans men “cringe.” We’ve been ignored for long enough, and we need to be louder and prouder and take up more room in queer spaces, because we’ve always been here and we’re not leaving any time soon. And I for one love the sad ukelele music.

[lovebvni]

Quick lil pick-a-pile (old, and yes i was denki obsessed and i still am. i love him)

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[ 🖊 ] created ⋮ 31.3.22

[  ] published ⋮  4.4.22

˚₊·͟͟͟͟͟͟͞͞͞͞͞͞➳❥ ꒰ ⌨ ✰ Arsyn   ⋆  ⁱˢ ᵗʸᵖⁱⁿᵍ··· ꒱ | ೃ࿔₊•

┊       ⋆     welcome to my blog !

┊     °

hello loves! I haven't done a pick a pile in so long and i LOVE making these, this time i decided to challenge myself and make it an intuition instead of tarot (plus i don't have my tarot cards stfu)

The questions that will be answered today are:

1. A message from someone in your dr. (summitted by Ayaya)

2. What is holding you back from shifting? (summitted by IceChips)

3. How is your s/o doing? (summitted by IceChips)

pick an emoji!

💫|☮️|💥

Pile 1; starburst

1. A message from someone in your dr.

"Hey, hi! What are you up to? How has life been? You don't know? Well focus on it! You know, things may be hard, like hail falling on you, but you know what, I have a bulldozer to shelter you, so you know what. Keep pushing. Things may be hard, or something, but do the things you love, talk to the people you love, and you know what, while you're at it, draw someone from your dr or write something to them. I know they'll appreciate it!"

** Side notes: i felt some real best friend energy, maybe a sibling, or something? also getting in your family for some reason, somebody who would say weird ass shift like "a bulldozer from shelter" LAMOJSOIJTEJ **

2. What is holding you back from shifting?

First, I'm getting pretty much everyone picking this pile has not shifted. You're wondering why and overthinking it way too much. That's what's holding you back, overthinking everything you've done/are going to do. I heard "you dug your own grave; you have to make a way out now." You're not dead, you're alive and well. Get out of this hole by yourself. Play Minecraft, get a dog, and breed them (LMAO WTF AM I HEARING HELP) just have fun. Overthinking is just making this hole deeper. Also, while writing this, my cat kept going up and down the stairs, like she didn't know what to do. I think she felt stuck and doesn't know how to move forward OR backwards. I suggest some shadow work.

3. How is your s/o doing?

OMG IMMEDIETLY, I GOT SO MUCH HAPPIER OMG!! just joy came around me. I feel like they know you're gonna get past this hardship soon, and they're happy you even read this. I can tell they love you (feminine energy) so damn much, and they may be a bit clingy. "You got this, move forward, and you'll see the beautiful sunset."

Are sunsets important to you guys?

pile 2; peace

1. A message from someone in your dr.

"Do I have to do this? Oh my God." LITERAL BAKUGOU ENERGY OMG "Hi, I guess. Do something, don't just sit on your ass all day. That's all I got Arsyn, can I leave?" LMAO YES THEY ACTUALLY SAID THIS SHIT this person wants you to do something, like actually try to shift? I feel like you guys expect spirit to do everything. Nope. you have to put time and effort into this.

2. What is holding you back from shifting?

omg while typing the question i got a headache and now a toothache. Maybe you're beating yourself up for something that has no use, getting into fights, then being distracted from actually trying to shift. Avoid conflict, and things will get better. Also, I heard try to shift at least one time this week. Picking it back up will be really helpful : )

3. How is your s/o doing?

omg I'm getting so much mixed energy from this. for some your s/o is lowkey mad at you for not even trying to interact with you, but for others they're proud?? I'm gonna split this question up for each s/o energy I'm feeling.

S/o 2.1 is mad in general, again bakugou vibes, and just wants you to try and do something with your life. You know you can pick this shit up faster, you know you have enough energy to do it, but you're wasting that potential on shit that doesn't matter.

S/o 2.2 is proud that you've been resting but wants you to pick shifting back up because they want to see the REAL you, not your clone. I can tell they have a lot of love for you, and they always try to be positive when thinking about you, even when negative things happen. i also hear that you guys may be attracted to pile 3 for question 2? i haven't typed pile three atm so, ig see what's in store for you?

pile 3; explosion

1. A message from someone in your dr.

"HeyYYY whats up? how you doing? I know you've been waiting for someone to ask you that. Well, why don't you talk to people more about your interests if you think you have nobody to talk to? Talk to me about them!! Write your s/o a letter about them maybe? That's cool! Do that! Go! Shoo!"

2. What is holding you back from shifting?

Distractions. That's the only word I can use to describe me writing this last pile too. I've been distracted the whole time typing this. I've been so distracted. Mainly with gender identity shit (transgender memes mostly, I just sent IceChips a few) AND NOW IM LOOKIGN AT CUTE PUPPIES I MEAN LOOK AT THIS OMG

So some advice, focus on one thing. Use an ADHD method or something that won't make you fly away with funky thoughts. You got this. One step at a time, not five steps in a circle.

3. How is your s/o doing?

omg i can tell you guys are worried about them, thats so cute omg! i can tell you want to hug them, and i know the miss you too, they want hugs and kisses and they just want to make sure you're okay. I feel like they put you first and love physical touch. They miss you, but overall with academics, and live, they're good. They just miss you and want some hugs. Channel them and send them love, please.

[iztea]

Do you like drawing in a sense that it relaxes you? Like a hobby you‘re looking forward to after a day of work. Do you feel joy while you draw?

I‘m currently battling my art demons and came to the conclusion that drawing actually makes me feel shitty a lot of the time because I only take joy out of the results yk? So if it‘s good, great! If I get overwhelmed woah my world is breaking down. My therapist told me I need a hobby that actually relaxes me and that I like solely for itself, not connected to performance, and I was wondering if drawing is just generally the wrong thing for that or if there‘s a way for people to actually enjoy it in a relaxing way.

You‘re so open about your drawing process and you‘re my favorite art account so you fell victim to my question haha but I get that this ask is pretty specific and kinda weird, don‘t feel pressured to answer :)

i do very much enjoy drawing in a relaxing way; for me, it's the equivalent of playing video games or watching Netflix so, in a way, i think of drawing as "unproductive work". Not sure if you're actually looking for a solution-based answer to your problem or if you just want to hear my side/my opinion on the matter, but I'll try to delve into both. 

I think for me personally, I've always found drawing to be relaxing for the most part. Frustration is always to be expected, of course, but I wouldn't say it ruins the mood, it's just something that comes and goes. The only unpleasant part about drawing for me is strictly related to the social media aspect or just making it public. Now, I'm not sure if you have an art account as well or how much you relate to this but I very often dread posting stuff online. I kinda have to force myself almost every time to make something public because I hate the applause but I am also rational enough to understand that art is meant to be shared with others, even if I personally don't feel a strong need to... It's just one of those human behaviour things you have to mimic or adapt to get by, similar to many other things that don't make sense to me personally but I cognitively understand why they happen but I digress

 When it comes to the process itself, I actually enjoy it more than the final result. If I had a lot of fun experimenting with brushes and new techniques and crazy effects i saw online then i get a sense of joy no matter the end result, and here is where my first piece of advice comes into play: learn to enjoy the process without thinking of the destination. For me, even when I do have a clear idea in mind, it always fluctuates and I let it fluctuate. Sometimes it even looks like shit. So what? It's just for your eyes, who cares if it doesn't look good? Just call it a flop and move to another thing, or revisit it sometime later when your skills improve. This is even easier when you do not have an art account where you share your art, there's zero pressure, you're creating the pressure yourself.

Just think about it: 

>why do you feel shitty and overwhelmed? -> because you care about the end result

>why do you care? -> because if it turns out bad, it feels like wasted time. or because you put your worth into what you create or because [  fill in your answer here ]

>do you still want to continue drawing? -> if there is a way to enjoy it in a relaxing way, then yes i assume

Ok great! Then, the solution is to remove that root feeling of disappointment, overwhelm or despair by learning to appreciate the process of creation and bask in the uncertainty of it instead of being so dead-set on the final piece. If you are not content enough with your skills to end up drawing something that you're always satisfied with, and if it causes you this much distress, then drop your expectations and don't reach the finish line. I mean this literally: draw forever-WIPs. Sketches. Doodles. Don't render, don't even try to think of a color palette. Don't Finish Your Art. Enjoy the process of discovery, of trial-and-error of indecision and I can assure you it will be during these moments when you'll find the relaxation you're looking for.

Enjoyment and relaxation, in my experience, come from two places/approaches: 1. the subject itself and/or 2. noticing improvement in your skills.

To give you an example, when I was sick with fever I drew Dazai as that "let's take ibuprofen together" meme and I thought it was the best shit in the world I was on cloud nine and giggling to myself. Looking back on that art, I now realize it looks terrible (and i lowkey want to redraw it) but back then i was laughing while drawing it and felt Great. because I was drawing something i thought it was funny. Not even once did I think "oh man, I hope this turns out nice ohh it will be so awful if it doesn't the world will explode" because that was not its purpose. Granted i was a bit,,,,,, unwell given my sickly state but my point still stands! So, what I'm trying to say here is that you can try drawing "funny/silly" things as a way to sort of lessen that burden of expectations. Or just something you reaaalllly want to see and you know no one else will do it. Taking matters in your own hands type beat

The second way to enjoy drawing in a relaxing way is by taking the other route: instead of focusing on the subject matter, try focusing on new techniques, new brushes, new tutorials or approaches you found online. Basically, focus on improving your skills in a fun-no-pressure-no-strings-attached way while keeping your subject of choice neutral or uninteresting. Or maybe take the artwork of an artist you really like and try to deconstruct it/ reverse engineer it and apply it to your own art. But whatever you do or choose, just never finish it. let them stay as wips or else you won't be very.. relaxed.

*please note this is an "and/or" statement, so you can absolutely do both: try a new technique you found while drawing something that you also enjoy for uhhhhhhhhhhh relaxmaxxing as the would kids say

Lastly, what I would highly recommend is listening to Adam Duff's podcasts, he really hits the nail on the head when it comes to such topics and more, he really narrates and explores that soulful part of an artist way better than I ever could with this answer so please check him out, I think you'll find your answers there

[tobiasdrake]

Oh that's right they DID do the Phoenix, just. Fucking. Weird. Xavier's here to explain all of the shit.

So Xavier feels Scott exploding into goo mid-kiss and sends Logan and Storm out there. They head out and just walk blindly through pea-soup fog until Logan complains.

At which point Storm just snaps her fingers and defogs the whole place.

Like she was legit just going to let them wander around blindly until one of them fell in the lake. It's a good thing Logan said something! Storm was enjoying fog time and forgot we had a mission here.

This was revenge for ruining the Sentinel class. She wanted Logan to dumbass himself into a swim.

So they wander around looking at the rocks Jean... left charged with self-sustaining telekinesis, I think?

There's just shit floating around even though Jean passed out from the sheer grossness of getting Scott's bits in her mouth.

So we take Jean back to Xavier where he Mr. Expositions what's going on here. First, and most importantly, that she was in fact inside Aang's iceberg.

Okay, I did not remember that but I guess I was reading that weird scene correctly.

Also, Jean is the most powerful mutant ever.

Why is there a Class Five if there's only one mutant in it? How do you even grade the power level or whatever of mutation? Is Beast a Class Four because his mutation is so extensive or Class One because he can't explode a bus station with laser eyes? What's the power level of regeneration? Ooh, or teleporting. What's Nightcrawler's power level?

I know this is a thing from the comics but it's silly there too. :P

But anyways. I get it. Jean has too much telekinesis, so much so that Xavier made up an entire category called Too Much Telekinesis-Havers just to fit her in.

From there, he explains this film's interpretation of the Phoenix Force.

Xavier: Her mutation is seated in the unconscious part of her mind, and therein lay the danger. When she was a girl, I created a series of psychic barriers to isolate her powers from her conscious mind. And, as a result, Jean developed a dual personality. Logan: What? Xavier: The conscious Jean whose powers were always in her control and the dormant side. A personality that, in our sessions, came to call itself the Phoenix. A purely instinctual creature, all desire and joy and rage.

Okay. So. Just a reminder: The Jean we saw at the start of the film had full control over her abilities. Charles decided that Jean has too much telekinesis, which he demonstrated by making up the Too Much Telekinesis folder in his filing cabinet and only putting her file in it.

But this is not what the antagonistic force of the film is.

No. It's not Jean having too much telekinesis that's causing problems.

Charles invaded Jean's brain and unethically suppressed her mutation. Kind of like the cure does! Topical! In doing so, he broke Jean's psyche and created an evil split personality called the Phoenix.

She was fine until Charles went in and tried to fix her for having too much telekinesis and instead cracked her brain in half. We aren't dealing with Jean's mutation gone uncontrollable, we're dealing with something Xavier accidentally put inside of her in a misguided attempt to make her acceptable. He did this to her.

Because she levitated cars and it freaked him out.

And then right after comes this exchange.

Logan: She knew all this? Xavier: It's unclear how much she knew. Far more critical is whether the woman in front of us is the Jean Grey we know or the Phoenix furiously struggling to be free.

So that's pretty much a flat admission that this was done to Jean without her knowledge or consent. Logan asks if Jean was informed and Xavier's like, "Fuck no!" before changing the subject.

Obviously Logan gets pissed right the fuck off.

Holy shit, Logan. Fucking go off, king. I want to have his babies. But. Y'know. In a manly way. <.<

...I think I'm kind of okay with the fact that Jean's going to kill Xavier later in the film. I think maybe that's fine, actually? Like, if anyone's going to die because of the Phoenix rising, it should be him.

Scott did nothing wrong but Xavier did everything wrong. Lesser of two evils. "Look, it was either this or letting her be really good at telekinesis. I MADE MY CHOICE."

God forbid women be good at telekinesis. Fucking get his ass, Phoenix.

[plenilune]

what a weird year it's been! this time last year I remember being so high on not wanting to die for the first time in years that I was ecstatic to greet 2023 and find out what I could do in it -- I don't feel that way this year, buffetted about by circumstance and my stupid human body and brain, but I don't feel defeated. I feel like I made a good first pass at a piece of work and now I'm going to take a hack at another draft. I made some good ground. not all the ground I was hoping to make, but a lot I wasn't expecting. I feel good about my ability to keep building a life and a self I can be more and more joyful to occupy.

I tried a lot of new things and some of them didn't work but most of them did. I said yes to a lot of weird shit. I had so many experiences this year. I'm glad I spent a night dancing and smoking on the fire escape outside a masonic lodge and being absolutely drenched in rain. I'm glad Corey and I went on a gorgeous queer group ride with a bunch of other queer cyclists through the streets of our favourite parts of northern Kentucky and then bicycled back home together. I'm glad I had a not-quite-one-night stand and bused home as the sun rose golden and alive and lovely. I'm glad I re-learned the importance of dancing at clubs until I can barely move. I'm glad I saw Oldboy in the cinema and was so adrenalised that I jumped up and down on the sidewalk and screamed waiting for my bus home. I started painting back patches and sewing things onto my clothing and making jewellery and collaging and cropping all my tshirts and sweaters.

I started writing again .god, I started writing again.

and I broke my phone, my glasses, and my computer and struggled financially and took a nightmarish disaster trip to Philadelphia for my grandmother's funeral and I lost access to meds for reasons that were completely my own fault and thus sunk into a mire of depression and fatigue for several months that could have been completely avoided. I struggled to connect to people and struggled to feed myself and been a goddamn wreck. I didn't really accomplish most of the things I thought I was going to, that I started with eagerness and energy at the beginning of the year.

but hell. I built some shit. now I can keep building on top of it. I feel like a completely different person sometimes now, with different possibilities. I fucked up and lost and careened into walls of bad luck over and over this year but I feel better for and about it than I have in a long time. okay, that's new muscles. okay okay okay. new page, new draft, we can go again.

anyway. this year I want to push forward more deliberately on some of the stuff I found out I could do this year -- obviously I am continuing to work on my goddamn space heist book, but also specifically pursue block printing, drag/burlesque, bass, and making zines in 2024 instead of just experimenting with them. bicycle more, cook more, invest in people more, Not Go Off My Meds At Any Point, play more video games, watch more films. (I watched over sixty this year! after barely watching films for so long I didn't know what my own taste was any more, and feeling the shame and confusion of having once been a kid who wanted to go to film school but didn't know what movies they liked any more.)

anyway. here's to all of you who have kept me alive and interested in the world this year. my beloved partner is making arriabbiata and playing jazz in the next room. I have to work first thing tomorrow but tonight I'm going to finish the first season of Better Call Saul and poke at my novel and the day after tomorrow I'm going to have tea and listen to music and sew patches onto my jacket and best flannel. I'm going to keep finding new things to be alive for. I'm going to create a self I want to live inside. I'm excited to know what things are going to happen to me in 2024. I'm excited to learn about new ways to feel joy.

goodnight, 2023. you were a mess and I loved you more often than I didn't.

[telatire]

Instead of going to sleep (like I should have tried hours ago), I'm waiting on a timer; I'm listening to music from some of my favorite indie games; I listen to either rain, or the feet of pigeons, on the metal framing of an air conditioning unit. I was cold earlier, but the temp is now more or less room temperature, so I'm warmer now. All of this to say - I've been thinking a lot, haha. I do think about the worth of my work a lot; how I struggle with not placing immensely high expectations I never place on others, because I have all the empathy in the world, except for myself; how I've essentially been defined by my weirdness, lack of normalcy, always the odd man out. My loved ones and friends always tell me I deserve more, I deserve better; and I believe them when they say I do. I always try to say I accept that "some things are just the way they are"; you can't force people to care about what they don't give a shit about, after all, and my interests are usually niche to begin with - even when not inherently taboo. But while more recognition would certainly bring me joy, the obvious path to get there... would not. If it even works anymore, haha. While obviously I do feel sad, or upset, or get frustrated when something I worked on super hard didn't get the attention I feel it deserved (or even worse, gets ignored entirely) - I do keep going. Maybe because I always think back to that feeling of giving up - like... really giving up. It's not something I'm very proud of, but it's also something I can't ever erase. It's also something current me doesn't judge past me for anymore - the me who I'll be is always the culmination of all the decisions I've made, experiences I've had, and choices I had to make, and the me of that moment did what they thought was best. Current me knows fully well why, as past me also did. But, here we are. I keep creating because I find joy in it; because I find hope. And especially in times such as now, that's so, so important. Even if it's not perfect, even if it's messy, even if you still can't really make heads or tails of it - something is always better than nothing. Walking is better than standing still. And for as frustrating as it can be, doing is also a lot of fun. I laugh at my own jokes, even if they suck. It's important to keep going!! We got this.

[celenawrites]

TW - just a vent about fandom stuff.

I feel kinda sad about how some creators in the CoD fandom have now abandoned creating content for the game series due to the demanding nature of other fans who used to consume their content. (fics, art, etc)

Like, these artists/writers in the fandom write fanfics/create art, FOR FREE OF COST and dedicate SO MUCH TIME AND ENERGY to their craft despite not getting much in return, only to deal with senseless hate, ignorance, stupidity and get treated as content generation machines; instead of actual human beings with jobs and studies and friends and families that need their time and attention as well.

A lot of us folks who write or draw do this as a hobby. As an outlet for our creativity, and we find this community for the media we are currently fixated on and we create things inspired by it cuz it brings us joy. IT MAKES US HAPPY SO WE CREATE CONTENT FOR IT!!! And then to see the same fandom/community and their horrendous behaviour driving away the creators from the fandom and the media itself is just....sad. Very disheartening.

Like I miss so many of the creators who have just given up on CoD cuz of this issue. Their works have inspired me to start writing again. They make me wish I start learning how to draw and paint again too. Their works have touch my soul, and made me happy - gave me something to look forward to every day.

But I'd much rather they leave the fandom and take care of themselves and their life, than to succumb to this weird pressure fans and fan-content consumers put on them, y'know?

Plus recently, I've seen a lot of racist and stereotypical prejudices from some CoD fans (and even some creators). I know a lot of them are new to the fandom, I was too. But I took an active effort to learn more about this game series. (and it's an ongoing effort cuz I cannot afford to play the games so I have to settle for wiki articles, gameplays, and comics) And I see so many fans not give a shit about it. They treat these characters as blank canvases to fulfill their hypersexual fantasies. (I like me a good smut fic or two, don't get me wrong) But that just makes it impossible for newer fans to get to know more about the lore and the characters. I had just finished watching the campaign for MW, and let me tell you, there are so many complex missions, characters and storylines to explore and depict through fanfics, and it's insane so many people disregard it for their whimsies so easily. That will just stunt your growth as an artist/writer! Read up on the lore, watch the game plays(the OGs and the remakes!) , maybe even read the comics!!! I promise you won't regret it ever!!!

Also, please! For all that is holy, stop putting these complex fictional characters into restricted boxes and label them. That just makes them so one-dimensional. Like -

Soap is not always cheery and bubbly and your fellow bestie. Simon is not an abuser/emotionally dead asshole just because he has a hard time expressing his emotions like everyone else. König, despite the lack of storyline/lore we have on him, isn't an uwu social anxiety babygirl, damn it. Stop excluding Gaz from your HCs and fics! He's a complex man with so many interesting things to explore about his overall story and psyche as a part of 141. He's not always begging for Price's approval either, he can and has objected to how questionable their methods have been regarding their field/work. Stop excluding Gaz from 141 stuff! It makes you look like a POS, and a lot of the people who exclude him are doing so for....pretty racist reasons. As a POC, this shit sucks balls. Also stop stereotyping POC characters in CoD - Alejandro, Rudy, Valeria, Gaz, Farah....just stop. Their ethnicity or race should not deter you from writing about them in a way that doesn't come across as prejudiced and ill-informed.

Also, not necessarily a rant, but please consider/remember the fact that the military has always been a bit of a morally dubious field of work irl, and just cuz CoD is military-centric and features characters who work in the army or PMC and take out bad guys - that doesn't take away from the violent history military has and how they have contributed to the deterioration of many countries (mainly in the Middle East). Heck, even these characters in the CoD games have done extremely unethical things and employed treacherous methods in order to get the job done. These characters may be good people in fiction, but that doesn't mean that they have done great things or have always stayed morally pure. Explore the dubious nature of it all - explore how dark and harrowing it can be for them and for the people that unwittingly or knowingly get involved in their work. It's dark and twisted but it's crucial since it's inspired from our world and it's necessary for us as humans and as artists to explore such themes and analyse them! It's crucial for the soul!!!

[ginger-futch]

Poppy Playtime Headcanons (some spoilers ahead):

Personally I see the toys as adults.

No, I don't say that for weird porn reasons. I don't think Playtime Co. would've gave their "family friendly" abominations the anatomy to do anything like that. But they do have human nervous systems and are strongly implied to have humanlike organs, given how the Bron experiment tape explicitly mentions lungs and a thyroid gland.

It just makes more sense to me that they'd be, neurologically and perhaps hormonally, akin to adults. Horribly traumatized adults whose brains have developed in strange and frightening ways to cope with what's been done to them, but adults no less.

I do not subscribe to really any theory that focuses on souls and rituals and stuff. This game leans a little more science fiction than fantasy in my opinion, compared to, say, FNAF or Bendy and the Ink Machine. The process to turn someone into a toy isn't a ritual but instead a procedure. The people doing the dark shit aren't cultists but scientists.

In my general headcanon, Theodore Grambell was 7 years old when he was transformed into CatNap in 1990, making him 12 at the time of the Hour of Joy, and 22 in the game.

Similarly, I headcanon Marie Payne to have been 10 years old when she was turned into Mommy Long Legs (because of her maternal behavior towards the other kids and experiments; big sister vibes) in 1991, making her 14 during the Hour of Joy, and 24 in the game.

Mostly I say all this as a reference point for my own sort of Hurt-Comfort AU, which I'm tenatively calling the Recovery AU. Basically, instead of an employee returning to the factory, it's a former orphan who used to live there, and the young adult makes the decision to rescue her old friends by whatever means she can.

Of course, the bulk of the AU is what happens after they all get out of there. It's easy to end a story of great suffering with a cathartic death - the long fall, the crusher, the closing shutter, the stabbing hand, all after a long and terrifying chase sequence - but it's a lot harder to take those same characters and see how they might adjust to the "real world" outside the very specific circumstances that turned people into monsters. I want to see how Huggy Wuggy or Kissy Missy navigate therapy without the ability to speak or use normal hand signs. I want to see Mommy Long Legs reunite with her foster mom and shed tears at the feeling of the sun on her face. I want to see CatNap get deprogrammed and learn how to value himself and others without dipping into black and white thinking. I want to see Poppy try desperately to keep up with technology that is already far beyond anything she could have imagined when she was first "created" and locked away.

[greenpanda-basicfakewitch]

Divination | Ouija

[Or as I keep calling it and being teased for it Luigi board] [Source] [Take this with a grain of salt- Ouija isn't my thing]

A controversial tool, a flat board with letters/alphabet along with the words yes or no alongside a planchette, heart shaped with an eye in the centre.. Quoted as “A board that is both pure and evil.” Created several lawsuits by the Library of Congress. A supernatural tool to commune with the dead.

[Personally the board gives me the wiggies, I know people think a pendulum is the same thing. But I just think requesting the help of a friend or some spirit is different than going knees deep into dead spirits and other things. Idk I just think its different]

So. give respect. Never ask how they died. Always say goodbye. NEVER finish until they say Goodbye [although its said its leaving it open, and some say it's to be polite and close the connection its okay if they don't say goodbye…I’d rather be safe than sorry]

 If the Planchette leaves the board? Burn the board. Never leave the Planchette on the board keeping the connection open for the possible spirit to leave the board.

Watch out for zozo. Or creating a figure eight. Treat it as a board game and keep calm dont bring in anxiety, or any depressive energy or thoughts.

Seven Subtitues For a Ouija Board [Source]

As a substitue You can use a Coin. A washer coin. A poker Chip. Upside down shotglass. [More info Below] Make a wood plachette etc. More info in the Link Above.

[Personally I do respect the craft/believe in ghosts and spirits a little. But sometimes its weird that ALL ghost story/sightings happen in America and possessions specifically happen in spain/mexico. Given that other countries dont have footage like in the UK for ghost sightings [we have OLD as fuck buildings older than america at least] so yeah sometimes it feels a bit huey.]

So the dangers of Ouji board?

This is the recent article for 2023. “28 girls hospitalised with anxiety. All fainted after a ouija board had gone wrong.” Posted March 7. 2023. [Source]

But luckily an exorcist police officer CLAIMS girls opened a Doorway to- […A police officer just HAPPENS to be an exorcist? What are the odds thank god an exorcist who happens to be an OFFICER was THERE at the same time! wow thank god *sarcasm*]

“One mother complained: “I work here in a hospital kiosk and every day I see three or four children arrive after fainting.”

So kids fainting is a regular thing? Is there some health/environmental issues and they're using an occult board to cover it up. Sounds like confirmation bias and fear mongering for christian loving cultists to prove that wiccan/occult are devil worshipping sinners oh joy. Or Group psychosis, look I love Wicca but I don’t believe in that supernatural shit, I honestly doubt it was a wooden board that caused that and instead was teens being dramatic or the school has some issues and want to hide the responsibility. Oh 36 now [Source]

_____________________________________________________________

Seance

[Source Image: The Dreaming Queeniechan Manga]

A Cup Seance. A meeting. Typically with a medium or other spiritualists in which people intend to communicate with the dead.

The rituals of the seance and the medium are opening up insights into the mind, shedding light on the power of suggestion and even questioning the nature of free will.

How to perform a Seance

 A ceremony to contact the dead.

 To perform this ritual you will need six candles, white and purple in colour and a white cloth. In Addition you will need to sweeten the air by burning cinnamon frankincense and sandals wood. As the fire burns, concentrate on contacting the spirit and chant the spell that follows. If you know the mortal name of the deceased, adjust the chant accordingly. 

 Beloved unknown spirit, we seek your guidance. We ask that you commune with us and move along us. 

[Humanity has been attempting to commune with the dead since ancient times. As far back as Leviticus, the Old Testament God actively forbade people to seek out mediums. Interest peaked in the 19th century, a time when religion and rationality were clashing like never before. In an era of unprecedented scientific discovery, some churchgoers began to seek evidence for their beliefs.

 [Source]

Table Tipping

 Table tipping, or turning has gone out of fashion but is easy to replicate for four or more people, a small table. Or aka Ouji Boards Big Brother.

 dim lights and a relaxed atmosphere. The group places hands on the table and wait. After 40 minutes or so the table should start to move. It soon appears to have a mind of its own, sliding, swaying and even pinning people to the walls.

The reason why household furniture can appear to be possessed was exposed more than 160 years ago by Michael Faraday, the discoverer of the link between magnetism and electricity. In 1852 Faraday was fascinated by the new craze of table tipping – and whether people or spirits were responsible. So he took bundles of cardboard roughly the size of a table top and glued them weakly together. Each sheet got progressively smaller from top to bottom, allowing Faraday to mark their original positions on the card above with a pencil. He then placed the cards on a table and asked volunteers to put their hands on the cards and let the spirits move the table to the left.

If it was spirits, the table top would slide out the cards from the bottom up. But if the participants were doing it, the top cards would be the first to move. By examining the position of the pencil marks Faraday showed that people, not spirits, moved the table. 

A youtuber created a video on how to summon a Spirit into a bottle:

[Source]

[ghooostbaby]

i'm been too sleepy to read books these days so i must turn the razor beam of my weighty and emotionally intense analysis to the unsuspecting and unprepared xianxia drama love between fairy and devil

*spoilers*

i was in SO MUCH pain after xiao lanhua transformed into the goddess but then... it just felt so incongruous too. once she has all this power, just the same as dongfang qingcang, but they seperate themselves. and are this weird self-sacrificial power couple "i'm going to drain all my power and self-annihilate so you won't be harmed by the evil god" "no I'M going to drain all my power and self-annihilate so YOU won't be harmed by the evil god" ...

their satisfacton in life came from growing/being with the other so honestly you know that whichever one is "saved" would never be happy without the other so what's the point in deciding to secrerly kill yourself to let the other one live freely when they would only be miserable?? it also keeps creating doubts in they validity of their love ... because, frankly, choosing to lie to someone to kill yourself while preserving the life of the person you love/in love with you is just cruel and disrespectful!!

especially whats the point in keeping it a secret from them to make sure you accomplish your self-sacrifice when there's a chance if you both have this huge power now that you could actually work together?!

"i love this person soooo much i'm going to kill myself so they can live eternally alone"

there's also a lot about the last few episodes that is such pivotal plot stuff but is not really explained at all but the show just *waves hands* cGi MaGiC ~~

i dont really understand how tai sui took over dongfang qingcang's body ... unless dfqc was just overconfident that he could defeat him?

it doesnt exactly make sense, dongfang qingcang floating in the sky and just a lot of CGI flames and ok?? now dfcq is drifting away into mist but why?? he had all these new powers that came out of this confrontation, and now and orchid/goddess used her purifying power and the black lines on his body went away? lots of flashy colour swirls that show him being dissolved idk but it just feels so anticlimactic and ... not believable.

watching this i'm just seeing writers being like 'oh here's a chance for some SICK yet incomprehensible CGI fireballs!!' or 'here's a cliffhanger to make them watch more' not something that extends naturally from the story being told.

i feel like it would have been much more impressive to have dfcq stay after he and orchid defeated tai sui, the two of then burning away the black vapours and kissing passionately...

and there just didnt seem a clear justification why he was still destroyed despite getting his new nonhellfire-fire power and orchid using her goddess powers. it seemed like just forcing more pain to make it more intense. if they burned away tai sui together and just made out in dramatic cgi flame smoke light after they won against the ancient evil god i guarantee i won't just turn off the show for the last 10 minutes about how everything ends up!!

you dont have to shoehorn in pain to keep me watching. and it would have made the plot mirror the theme of love transforming people if they were trying to sacrifice themselves alone to save the other but instead they came together and defeated the evil god united

instead it was like grand story about the transformation of love until the last episode like, oh shit, should we shove some random cliches in here?? yeah! we totally should!!!

have you even HEARD of tolkein's theory of the defining moment of fantasy the ending where great sorrow is possible but it is transformed in a moment of joy, and that joy isn't demeaned for being "unrealistic", happy endings can feel real and true, more real than watching your lover disappear in a ball of cool CGI fire sometimes

and then the actual "happy ending" was so... disappointing. after dongfang qingcang disappears and turns into a lil moon (sweet (':) but then orchid says dfqc can't return and 500 years later the little moon hasn't changed. it goes through the montage of the others 500 years later and then little moon just pops up into a fully formed dongfang qingcang with equally little explanation

like oh ok that's fine, kiss now i guess. i give up

orchid/goddess's expression looks so sorrowful. she looks surprised but mostly just devastated ... i was waiting him to dissipate into mist at any point the way she was looking at him, it didn't seem happy at all. just.. grief.

which is the main reason i think i'm disappointed. it never feel like we got xiao lanhua back, who was the entire other half of the couple that we were cheering for. she seems so grim and hopeless, the way the goddess was pretending not to love dongfang qingcang to save the people and sacrifice herself and drains herself of all her joy, energy, and love. i would have liked to see her at the end showing some of the playfulness and sweetness of xiao lanhua. who is the person dongfang qingcang fell for in the first place. i think xiao lanhua wouldn't have said "dongfang qingcang can never return", even if it was impossible she would have been determined and hopeful and waiting for that day that it would happen anyway. even if it took tens of thousands of years

and... it just would have been a better story if they kissed away all the evil and triumped with the power of LOVE. i'm sorry, it's the truth!

[jennawynn]

Enterprise Season 3 Ep 7-12

Episode 7

It's so weird... like they want to make Archer hard and give him the illusion of being capable of Tough Decisions and Torture and Do Anything It Takes but Bakula can't do it and then they undermine the whole thing anyway by having him 'revert' back to his compassionate humanity. It just feels forced. Hard!Archer isn't believable. It also leads to a lot of lines delivered with a rough and loud cadence while others are speaking normally (or in one case, Reed is practically whispering because they're in hiding). His character and delivery end up being inconsistent as a result.

Episode 8

Meanwhile, Trip's descent into darkness is far more believable. "Put them in the airlock." That's believable. That's delivered with the kind of bitter anger that carries that dialogue... and it's more consistently applied. He doesn't waffle about what he wants to do with the Xindi. Probably because he doesn't have the authority to act on it. That could have made a better dynamic- Archer's compassion overriding Trip and even Reed's desire for revenge. Let them act as foils for each other instead of making Archer inconsistent.

This episode is... I don't like it much. The jump to the future, the way they tell the story in flashbacks. Like obviously it's not going to be permanent. I'd almost rather watch all of this happen over a season and then have whatever time fuckery happens happen. Instead we're going to get 'here's what happens if Archer's not around- oh the whole human race dies' but also we're going to keep sending Archer on dangerous away missions where he gets attacked and abducted every third episode.

Reed's goatee is ridiculous. Travis is the only crewmember who isn't still there 12 years later? lol milliCochranes. lol harder. Trip being the captain for 9 years is also kind of hilarious. I guess don't let your low cast count stop you from telling the story you want to tell.

What a weird love triangle thing like they can't decide if they want to make T'Pol be with Archer or Trip. Is it just to create ship drama?

Time fuckery... so they didn't have to kill the parasites specifically. They just needed to kill Archer. That's even dumber.

Episode 9

When one race enslaves another and then the enslaved race gains their freedom, obviously the only answer is to create a reversed power structure that is almost as bad! This is like all the strawman arguments that Black people or women don't want equality, we want superiority.

Making these humans white, though... it allows a character to say "we have long memories" when told that slavery happened a long time ago and maybe, just maybe, someone will listen instead of saying 'why don't Black people just get over it?'

Why is human western culture the dominant culture here, though? None of them would have grown up in the Old West. Shouldn't it be skagarin in design? But then where would the rootin' shootin' episode of this series come in, I guess.

lmao Reed's seen Speed. Shoot the hostage.

Episode 10

It'd be kinda funny if the only main cast to die is the only one who can actually carry the kind of anger that they need for this vengeance plotline, but I have a damn hard time believing they actually killed Trip :joy:

Gonna do some shady ethical shit because "Earth needs Enterprise, Enterprise needs Trip" when maybe you shouldn't be so reliant on seven damn people, like I've been saying. He should have a lieutenant who knows damn near everything he does who can step into his shoes in an emergency. Then you don't need to grow a clone to harvest his brain to save Trip. How NOBODY could fix the engines but Trip is ridiculous.

Episode 11

It bothered me before, but even moreso now. They have referenced the Xindi as 'terrorists' before this episode. In 2004 it makes sense for the guy in Detroit to be worried about terrorists, but not to the Enterprise crew. The goal of the Xindi (as far as they or the audience know at this point) isn't to cause terror. It's to eradicate the humans before the humans eradicate them. They are not terrorists.

Episode 12

Abortion? Spicy.

Holy shit they actually killed someone.

Archer selecting himself for death... it must be a trick. Yeah. Clever trick, but predictable with what we know about the show. Plot Armor for everyone!

And amazingly... it was all for nothing because the war had nearly wiped out both sides long before they even came in contact with Enterprise! Status quo! No real changes! One fewer rando crewman. I'm sure the sphere data that was deleted was also just one copy of many because my god if we still haven't learned to make backups of data in the 22nd century I might scream.

[eimearkuopio]

Yes hello this summer we found out I'm so deep into autistic burnout that I couldn't tell what was real and what wasn't any more.

The good news for me is that I'm now able to at least discern my subjective version of reality.

The bad news for everyone else is that, if my subjective version of reality matches objective reality (and here's the thing: AT NO POINT in my history of mental illness has my subjective version of reality been INCONSISTENT with objective reality, just with how other people interpreted it and insisted was correct), things need to change.

The good news for everyone else is that it doesn't feel like it's too late, and that if we succeed in making those changes, I think the world will be considerably better for a lot of people.

For the ones who will be materially worse of: fuck those assholes, they deserve it. If you are scared that might mean you, try to think about what changes you can make in your life on an ongoing basis. If you KNOW it's you, maybe start fucking repenting. There's no absolution this time, but we're doing a discount on redemption. It no longer requires martyrdom! You just have to live a comfortable life instead of one that makes me feel actively sick to think about.

If the idea of being comfortable instead of worshipped is more than you can bear, congratulations, you have become an idol! It is not my job to melt you down, but someone probably will. If you are the kind of person who thinks Chappell Roan owes you something, maybe repent! If someone has created something that touched your soul and brought you joy: thank them and let them get on with their lives. Jesus chose to let you consume His substance. You don't have to worship Him, but if you're a caterpillar who loves butterflies, maybe start working on your own cocoon instead of trying to eat the ones that have already transformed and didn't explicitly volunteer as tribute.

The bad news for me is that I will never know for sure if the faith I'm confessing matches with objective reality or not. I've had enough weird shit happen this summer that I'm willing to speak, but I can't give you proof and I wouldn't even if I could. Saints don't get to be saints until they've died. I know that my finite self will die, because I believe she's going to need to go back and lay the trail of breadcrumbs she followed to get here, and I think I have some sense of where that trail ends. But whether I'm right or wrong, I'm here, and for the first time in my life it feels like I'm doing what I was meant to do. I really hope that will mean more of us get to do likewise. I'm sorry it took me so long to find my way here. I hope I have broken an easier trail to follow. I hope I can help, or at least that I won't hurt any more than I need to. I have taken my flaming sword and fashioned it into a scalpel. I will only cut away what festers. I might not find everything, but I'd rather do as little damage to your house as I can while still keeping it intact and getting rid of any toxins I find.

autistic folks when their routine gets disrupted, and they don't get alone time when they're supposed to get alone time

[gempantheon]

"I can smell the blood."

He can't even bring himself to respond to the other's comment. What was supposed to be a simple gathering, the night had fallen and with it came something that made his skin crawl. The entire night had been filled with vibrancy, with love, with laughter, with passion and joy. It was everything it was supposed to be and then came the haze, a dark fog that settled over everything and in the next moment? He was being woken up by Chazz shaking his shoulders, the entire building was dark, the lights flickered on and off as if they'd been dragged through dimensions. Why did all the supernatural shit have to happen on this damn island? He'd gotten to his feet, struggling with his disorientation as it felt like his senses were dull, like he was dragging his feet through mud in a swamp. The other seemed unaffected, as if he couldn't feel the chains of oppression that dug into his shoulders, that felt like he was dragging cinder blocks behind him with an invisible thread. Everyone else was gone. Vanished from sight but with it was also the view of the surroundings in the cafeteria. It all appeared normal but without working lights, with the view outside seeming barren and dark, he couldn't even see through the glass of the windows. Upon reaching out for his family, he's met with nothing but silence. That has him concerned, even more than before as the names had slipped through his lips.

"Sapphire? Amethyst?" Were they uttered, but with no response. He can see the way the other's gaze darts around himself, as if expecting a certain trio to appear but nothing bore fruit. Instead, they press on wards, finally leaving the large room and making their way into the halls. By sheer luck does he manage to utilize his...newfound abilities. He can see the odd look he gets as from where he passes, crystal growth slowly sprouts, faintly glowing and providing much needed light. He can only offer a sheepish smile and a "I'll explain later." Before he manages to create a small enough one, focusing entirely on transferring enough energy to make it glow akin to a flashlight. This one, he hands over to the other. Better in his hands than his own.

Now. The metallic scent is what had them slowing in their adventure, the halls were eerie and the doors were all closed. It felt like when Darkness had arrived. It really did and his legs give the small sense of phantom pain, smothering the thought as he continues forward. An awful squelch emits from under his shoe and he stops dead in his tracks, he can't even hear Chazz over the dread that creeps through his entire body as he slowly gazes down where the makeshift flashlight's light illuminates the sight of a rotted hand, crushed partially beneath his shoe as he steps to the side with noticeable haste. The sight alone confirms for him that they've been displaced. How? He's not certain, but then his gaze flickers upwards as the other walks past, muttering something. His vision finally focuses. Staring up at the ceiling as his breathe hitches. Heart hammering away in his chest as he stares at strands of wild hair, displaced, disorganized. The long slender frame that's attached to the tiles and slowly sliding along them. As if it was melting and pulling itself together at the same time. The weird orange substance slowly dripping down and just as it's head turns- He screams at the sight. Not caring for the volume or the fact Chazz nearly throws the crystal at him as he grabs the other by the wrist and runs. Runs as he can hear the god awful clicking of jaws snapping shut repeatedly behind them. He can't breathe. Even as he take quick panicked breathes. It feels like his body is locking up as he scans the area before all but ramming the old lecture halls doors with his shoulder. Forcing it open and dragging the other inside, he turns to slam the door shut just as the figure slams against it. Banging and wailing from behind the frame as he presses his body against the door with all his might, willing the crystals to form to block it, to defend them. Silence. After a few minutes it's all silent as he slowly slides down to the floor, trying to recover what little composure he can as he catches his breathe. Chazz needs the comfort. He needs a pillar of support against whatever the hell is in here with them and- and they're going to find a way out. That's what he keeps repeating in his mind as he gazes to the other.

"It's just us. And whatever that was." Gods don't let any of the other's be here. Please.