#and is also going stir crazy recovering from surgery... | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

living-d3ad-gh0ul · 2 years ago

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Friday 19th January 2024, 00:47

Hey E. I hope you’re starting to recover a bit more and you’re starting to feel a bit better. I’m so so sorry it’s taken me a little while to respond to your last message properly, I had been worrying about how long it’d taken me to reply to you. I’ll be honest, after New Year I haven’t been feeling too great mentally. I’m not sure why or if it’s just a combination of things, but I’ve really isolated myself from a lot of people and things. I don’t know, I just think that I’m starting to really think about the direction in which I want my life to go and how it’s nowhere near where I want to be and it’s kind of scary. But we can talk about me more in a minute, I want to focus on you right now.

Having to spend a week in hospital sounds so so draining and I’m sorry that you had to end up staying longer than anticipated. I am however glad that your surgery itself didn’t take too long, four hours is pretty good for something like you had done, so you must have had good surgeons, which I’m also glad about. I kind of squirmed a bit when you mentioned they had to move your lung and stuff, cause honestly I really cannot imagine how that would feel. Really weird I assume, but I guess you were asleep for it, so you probably don’t remember it. But still, it’d feel so strange. It doesn’t sound nice that you were in lots of pain afterwards too, but I’m glad that they could give you something for it to help and stuff. The drain thing sounds so weird too, like I really could not imagine having something like that done, but I can’t imagine it’s pleasant. I’m glad that they managed to be able to take it out after a few days though and that your lung started doing its thing again, good lung haha. Not being able to eat sounds awful too, but Dr Pain (I’ve decided that’s her name now) was good for giving you some tablets that would make things easier for you and enable you to eat. I have been wondering what was the first thing you had after you figured you could eat properly again haha. Is that weird? I don’t know, I just know if that had been me, I’d immediately be thinking of like my favourite food or something and asking someone to bring it for me. I really hope you had family or a friend or something to bring you things and visit you and stuff, cause I don’t want to think about you being in hospital all alone and stuff. It’s a pretty scary place sometimes, I remember when I was in hospital once before, I hated it. I was always asking when people were gonna come visit and stuff and I remember getting a little upset some nights because I was there on my own. I really didn’t like it. So I hope you did have people to come see you and stuff.

God I can imagine JUST how stir crazy you were going. Especially having roommates that snore or are loud haha. I get maybe they couldn’t help it, but it can still affect you too since you’re sharing a room with them. I’m just really happy that you didn’t have to stay for much longer after the drain and everything was all sorted out and removed and stuff. I bet the stitches and stuff are all gone now? I know you’ll probably still have a faint scar from it and stuff, but hopefully those are healing up okay and there’s no issues with those. I really hope you’re not feeling as stiff as you were before and that you’ve got some more of your movement back. I know you were saying you had some of it but not all, so I hope that’s different now and it’s almost all back, if not completely by now. I hope this surgery really has helped too and you’re not in any more pain or being bothered by the issue that was happening before. Awwwww I bet poor Chonky did miss you, I don’t blame her for not leaving you alone haha. I’d have been the same probably, you’d have got so annoyed with me being there like “are you okay? Do you need anything? A drink? A snack? Another pillow? Need me to open a window? Get you a fan? Anything?” lol I’m making myself laugh as I type this because that’s literally exactly how I fucking am, I’ve been doing it with my gran when I see her and stuff and she just laughs at me and tells me to sit down and if she needs anything I’ll get it for her. My dad would do the same lol. I don’t know, I guess I just like looking after people and making sure they’re okay and don’t need anything at all.

Ugh I’m not even going to lie to you, I would KILL for 30-35c weather right now. Maybe not 40, you can keep that lol. 20 would be perfect, that’s a good temperature for me. It’s currently -3 here and it’s snowing too, although it’s only JUST started a little bit ago. I’m absolutely frozen. At this very moment in time, I have my oodie on, my thick fluffy PJ’s and socks, a blanket and the heat turned up and I’m STILL freezing. But I am trying my best to get all warmed up and stuff. I really cannot wait for it to get a bit warmer outside, I miss being able to not wear a jacket and a scarf lol. I think I’M starting to get a bit of a cold right now, because I’m all sniffly. But I don’t have a cough or anything yet, maybe I won’t get one, I hope not cause I hate having a cough. Being asthmatic I kind of always have one anyway, so when I get a cold or anything that just gets so much worse and it’s very annoying lol. I really hope that you’re doing better now and it didn’t turn into anything else or get any worse at all.

I have a tiny bit of good news actually. I’m moving departments in work. It’s technically actually a bit of a promotion haha. I’m moving into a specialist role, which means I’m moving team and manager and stuff too. It’s the same pay (I think, I’ve still to confirm that with my new manager once I find out who that is) but it’s better shifts and stuff for me. I’m a little excited about it, cause it means I’m not dealing with HALF as much shit as I was from customers lol. I won’t go into any detail or anything but there’s been quite a few times I’ve had customers be REALLY mean and horrible to me lol. But now I’ll be a specialist and I’ll only have to deal with things when they’re escalated to me now. I’ve served my time in the trenches is what I keep saying lol.

Gran is doing okay. She’s still back and forth to the hospital and stuff for MRI’s and CT scans and all sorts of tests and things. She’s hopefully going to be getting surgery soon, to try and remove some of her pancreas and some other things nearby and around it. We’re hoping that this helps a lot and she can soon be on the road to recovery, since she can’t get any more chemotherapy. We found out that the type of chemo she was getting was a trial too, so that’s why it was a kind of “one and done” deal. Because she didn’t react well to it, they don’t want to attempt it again, just incase they make her sick again. I just really hope she gets her surgery really soon, cause the longer we leave it.. yeah, I don’t wanna say what I’m thinking but I think you’ll know what I mean.

As for anything else? It’s just kind of all been the same. And that’s what I was saying earlier about it’s all a bit scary. I know where I want to be and what I want to do and stuff, it’s just… it seems really out of my reach with how things are at the moment and what I’m able to actually do if that makes sense. I don’t know, I think it’s because I’m approaching my last year of my 20’s now (I know, I sound so fucking old, UGH, but I’ll be bloody 29 in June and I really kinda don’t like it. I still feel like I’m 20 or something mentally). I don’t know.. I just feel like I haven’t really done much with my life up until now. Granted, yes, I’ve been through a lot (especially in the last year, good god) since I was a teenager (I don’t know if I’ve ever really told you any of what went on, or if I did I don’t think I went into detail, but the long and short of it is that I’ve not had an easy run of things since I was about 15, that’s when my life really changed a lot and I feel like I’ve just been dealt shitty hand after shitty hand since then) but I still feel like I should be a bit further on with my goals than I am now. Maybe I’m being hard on myself or something but.. I just don’t want to be stuck here forever you know? I do feel really stuck. I feel like there’s always some kind of roadblock or something in my way of getting to what I want. It’s like a two steps forward and three steps back kind of thing. I start to get somewhere then something happens or someone stops it. I really think my number 1 goal at the moment is to move out of the town I live in. There’s nothing here and no opportunities really, but it’s so hard to move at the moment because of how expensive everything is. So I’m not exactly in the best position to do so at the moment anyway, but I’m hoping to save some more and eventually be able to move to somewhere else. I really have to try and figure out where I wanna move to too. All I know is that I don’t want to live in Greenock forever. I’d be happy even just moving into the city, into Glasgow maybe. Although I might not wanna stay there forever. Who knows? It’s all a bit uncertain and stuff and I think it’s just because I’m getting a little older now I’m starting to think of all of this and freak out a little bit.

It doesn’t help when I see my peers and friends and stuff all move away and have kids and get engaged and married and stuff and I’m just sat there trying to figure out what my next Baldurs Gate 3 tav will look like and what I’m gonna have for dinner that night and what I’m gonna wear to the next concert I go to or whatever lol. Which is soon btw, I’m going to see Depeche Mode (very 80s, very goth) on 31st January, which I’m super excited about. I’m also planning on booking 2 full day tattoo sessions down in Manchester as a birthday present to myself in June, the artist I’ll be booking in with is a friend of mine and I really love her artwork. I think I’m going to get her to do some Stranger Things and Baldurs Gate tattoos for me, since those are my two big obsessions right now haha. And I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving them or will ever regret those tattoos. Those are two things that I’ve really connected with and really enjoy, so it makes sense. It’s part of my story, so tattoos it is! Plus I kinda really just love getting tattooed? lol

I really do hope you’re doing much better and that you’re healing more and more every day. I hope Chonky is looking after you well and you are repaying her sufficiently in pats and treats.

I really do look forward to hearing from you again soon. I don’t know if I’ve said it before but.. I really do like going back and reading all of your “letters” to me. They really do give me a little warm feeling and make me smile. I think I just like talking to you and I like how these are unfiltered, like we’re just talking to each other as we normally would if we were sat next to each other or on the phone or something.

Anyway, I’m rambling now and I really wanna go turn the heat up a little more because my toes are like ice cubes right now.

I hope you’re doing well and resting lots and taking good care of yourself, E. I really can’t wait to hear from you soon.

N x

“I can’t go back, no I’ve gone too far, I miss the way that my eyes filled with stars”

#him

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tb-gerschutz · 2 years ago

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Chapter Five

Word Count: 6,128

Trigger Warning(s): language, attempts at seduction (Balor tries to seduce Rocky and get her to leave her boyfriend; Rocky, under a pseudonym, seduces Balor for answers), jealousy, graphic depictions of violence

Summary: "Rocky" and Agent Whiskey crash a masquerade ball to get more info out of Balor, and things between them heat up.

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Dr. Aliev kept to his word and put an ankle splint on my repaired ankle, not too long after I woke up. He was especially gentle with it, being extra careful not to break my ankle again. If I was in any pain, however, Whiskey kept his coarse on top of mine, allowing me to squeeze it hard if I was hurting. That's how much Whiskey has grown since I met him.

At first, when I met him, Whiskey seemed like the tough-skinned, crazy-ass cowboy who was incapable of love. Now that I've known him for some time, I realized that I was the one who feared love rather than him. I guess that's what happens when you try to recover from a big tragedy like your twin brother's death.

"Just make sure you're careful," the doctor advised as Whiskey and I left the medical bay and headed to our refuge wing.

The Romanov Agency was gracious enough to find us our very own room for us to rest and recover in. It was a large, very nice room that would put any normal hotel room to shame. This was not a simple hotel room. It was a suite. There was a soft, queen-sized bed that was directly adjacent from a decently sized window that overlooked a sweet view of Yekaterinburg. There was also a nice couch, a couple chairs, a side table, and a big flat-screen television. I could live here if I wanted to, but I knew that I couldn't because of this mission.

Balor needed to be stopped, and Whiskey and I were the only ones who could do just that.

I was sprawled out across the bed, while Whiskey leaned against the window frame, looking out to the city outside. He was running a plan in his head about what to do next, since this surgery of mine threw everything out of proportion. However, it was necessary for me to get this surgery. Otherwise, I'd be in much worse condition than I was already in.

"So what now?" I asked Whiskey, still keeping my eyes glued to the ceiling above.

Whiskey, meanwhile, kept his eyes glued on the world outside the window. "Nothing we can do but to go to that ball tonight, sugar."

"Luckily, I used the express mail and ordered a ball gown just in time," I remarked. "It should be here any minute now."

Whiskey gave me a confused and shocked glance. "When did you order that?"

"On the private jet to Russia, right before I fell asleep."

Whiskey chuckled as he moved away from the window and sat along the edge of the bed, slowly running his hand up and down the inside of my thigh. "I learn somethin' new about ya every day."

"So do I," I said, swallowing some water and two painkiller tablets. "I didn't know about half the shit I did."

A knock then emerged at the door, which caused me to stir. Slowly, I rolled out of the bed, swung my feet around to the floor, and hobbled over to the door. I walked like a pirate with a peg leg, with my right leg remaining straight, while my left leg operated normally. It pained me to be handicapped like this, but I knew that this was the very best case scenario for someone like me with a broken fucking ankle.

When I opened the door, I saw the package sitting on the ground in front of me. It was a normal, six-by-eight foot cardboard box, clattered with a good amount of shipping and customs-approval labels. I tried to crouch down to the ground to grab it, but it was no use with the ankle splint on my ankle.

"I got it, sugar. Don't worry," Whiskey said, reaching down to grab the package.

"Are you sure?" I asked, hobbling back into the room.

Whiskey beamed confidently. "Of course. Plus, it ain't even that heavy, despite it being a ball gown."

"Trust me, Whiskey. Not all ball gowns are heavy. It all depends on the material," I responded. "This dress just happens to be made of a shitload of chiffon, rhinestones, and sparkled beading."

"Is chiffon supposed to be light?"

"Yeah. But you'll have to find that out for yourself after I put this on," I said, dashing off to the bathroom so I could start getting ready.

It didn't take long for me to get ready, even though it was strenuous to do so. After curling my hair and pulling some strands back to make it a half-up hairstyle, I transitioned into putting on some makeup. Not much of it because it would mostly be covered by my black, lace masquerade mask. I carefully slipped into the dress and struggled to zip it up because my arms simply couldn't reach. Eventually, after several minutes of struggling, I gave up and marched out into the rest of the room to get some help from Whiskey.

I caught a glimpse of him as I marched out. He was clad in a black tuxedo and necktie, with shiny black shoes as well. A fancy, gold-and-black watch graced his wrist, and a solid black masquerade mask remained over his head by being tied in place. He was like a prince of darkness, even though deep down, I saw that rough-and-tumble cowboy. That's all I knew him as. A crazy, rough-riding cowboy who was capable of loving hard.

"Hey, Whiskey. I'm havin' trouble zipping up this dress. You think you can help me out?" I asked.

He kept staring at me, his eyes glossed over with astonishment. His mouth was slightly agape, as his hands remained stuffed in the pockets of his pants. He was frozen in place. It was like I broke him with how apparently beautiful I looked.

"Hello, pretty mama," he eventually said.

I blushed. "Pretty mama? That's a new one."

"I only say that when I'm lookin' at the most gorgeous human being on the planet," he complimented, "and that human being is you. And it will always be you."

I smiled, but not enough to make my teeth show. I hadn't heard someone compliment me on how beautiful I was in a long time. It had to be while Devin was still alive. The rest is a blur from there.

"And if I say that you aren't, you have my permission to use that glock of yours and shoot me in the head," he continued.

"Let me make this clear," I answered. "You're saying that if you ever say that I'm not the most gorgeous human being on this planet, then I have your permission to shoot ya in the head?"

Without skipping a beat, Whiskey responded clearly. "That's exactly correct, yeah."

My mouth hung wide open as I became gobsmacked with Whiskey's response. Well, okay then, I thought to myself. If Whiskey gave me permission to shoot him in the head for something he says, then that's his decision. I'm not going to stop him.

After slipping on strapped, black heels with gold jewels, I made it up onto my feet, testing to make sure I could walk at a half-ass normal function. Anything from my knee down to my foot, I need to make it as stiff as possible. As it turned out, I could walk normally, but a weird, itching feeling that came from the ankle splint accompanied the pacing.

"You ready to go, sugar?" Whiskey asked, briefly checking his watch.

I grabbed a small clutch purse I kept on the bedside table and adjusted the elbow-length gloves I had on me. "Yep. More ready than ever."

He offered his arm, allowing me to take it. Of course, I did, but I made sure I was gentle when I did it, despite me being the not-so-gentle type of girl. My hand grasped onto his large, solid bicep as he gently led the both of us out of the room.

* * * * * * * * * *

As Whiskey and I traveled to Balor's villa, a lot of questions were going through my head.

What if Balor discovered us?

What's the plan to getting Balor to spill his deepest darkest secrets about his plans for global genocide?

All these questions had me creating fake scenarios in my head, so that I had a plan for every possible scenario that could come up.

"Hey, sugar. This just came up. How in the hell are we gonna get Balor to spill his deepest darkest secrets about what he plans to do to this world?" he asked, somehow keeping one hand on the wheel and the other on the gear shift.

I smiled menacingly. "I'm glad you asked!"

I adjusted myself in the seat so that I could fix up my dress, being careful to not ruin it by either ripping or wrinkling it up. Then, I went into the in-depth look into my plan:

"We're gonna use pseudonyms and fake backstories. My name will be Isabelle Schneider, and you'll be my older brother Aaron Schneider. We're both socialites from Germany. We both reside in Berlin with our parents—Matilda and Alaric Schneider—who are philanthropists by day and agents for the German Embassy by night. We're attending this ball because our parents got tied up at work, so they sent us in their place. Any questions?"

"Yeah. If they ask what we mean by 'tied up at work', what are we supposed to say?" he asked.

"I was gonna joke that it takes a good amount of time to hide a body," I answered. "If I say that, then we might get onto Balor's good side, as well as some of his little friends."

Whiskey cocked one of his eyebrows up, silently asking me what the hell I was thinking. To be honest, I'm never thinking. I never had—or never will—had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth, and it's been that way all my life. And I don't plan on changing it just because I'm with Whiskey.

"Well, that's one way to convince him," he said, shrugging and agreeing with me.

After Whiskey and I got our plan figured out, we finally—after a long time—arrived at Balor's villa, which was much larger than some of the biggest mansions I've seen.

It was almost like a modern take on a castle in Spain. A healthy mix between mansion, home, and palace. Although I could see it at a distance, it already looked like it was going to be a huge fortress of solitude. Whiskey pulled up to the black, iron gates that were nailed between one giant stone wall and waited for them to open up.

"Good evening. What are your names?" a voice asked in a German accent.

I jumped and started to look for the source at which the voice came from. Turns out, it was from a small black box that was firmly on the stone wall. Must be a security camera, I thought. And the voice that spoke...it must be one of Balor's affiliates representing Germany.

"Trust me, Whiskey. I got this," I said, clearing my throat.

I then responded to the voice, speaking fluent German. "I'm Isabelle Schneider, and the man in the driver's seat is my older brother Aaron. We're representing the Schneider party from the German Embassy in Berlin."

There was only a few moments of silence before the voice chimed on again, but this time, it was speaking English. "Welcome, Schneiders. The Boss is so pleased to have you here."

The iron gates then slowly opened up, but before Whiskey continued down the driveway to the villa, he looked at me with a look of not only shock, but pure wonder as well.

"I didn't know you spoke fluent German," he said.

"Let's just say I took German all four years of my high school career and still remember a few words," I answered. "Also had to touch up on it to find out some new words to say tonight, as well, just in case Balor decides to speak German to throw us off."

Whiskey and I rolled up to the driveway directly in front of the villa, parking the car a little bit away from the front doorstep. I tried to open the door and get out of the truck myself, but Whiskey reached over the console and yanked the passenger door shut.

"What do you think you're doing?" he asked.

"I was getting out of the car," I answered.

He shook his head back and forth. "No, no, no. Not happenin', sugar. Let me get the door for you."

Immediately, he got out of the truck and slammed the door shut, rushing over to the passenger and opening the door. He stuck out his hand, offering it for me to take. Of course, I did, gently placing my hand into his and going with him inside.

"Can't risk ruining that ball gown of yours, can we?" he remarked in a low tone voice.

"We certainly can't," I answered, fixing the skirt so that I didn't trip over it.

As soon as we entered the villa, we came across a landing where a grand staircase awaited us. I didn't know where the ballroom was, so Whiskey decided to lead us to it, solely following the loud noise. Apparently, it worked because we soon came across a set of two large mahogany doors, which opened up to the bustling ballroom ahead.

Before we entered, I helped Whiskey adjust his masquerade mask by making sure it was tightly tied onto his head. In exchange, he fluffed out the skirt of my dress, even going as far as making sure the ankle splint I had on was comfortable and stable.

"You know, you didn't have to check that," I commented. "No one will notice it with my dress."

He looked up at me and raised his left eyebrow, partially ignoring what I said. After I adjusted the gloves on my hands, I once again took Whiskey's arm, feeling his rock-solid bicep through his tux. I bit my bottom lip, allowing me to inhale sharply before entering the ballroom with Whiskey. Even though I was anxious with the new surroundings, I knew I had to keep up a strong facade. I couldn't break. If I broke, then the entire plan that Whiskey and I had could go to shit really quickly.

We made our way to the ballroom floor, so we could pass time before Balor emerged to the public view. Blending in with the crowd seemed awfully easier than I thought. All Whiskey and I had to do was not draw attention to ourselves, and that went partially according to plan. Sure, we had people whispering and looking at us, but maybe it's because they were trying to figure out who, among Balor's guests, we were. As long as we convinced the crowd that we were representing the Schneiders from the German Embassy in Berlin, me and Whiskey will be fine.

Both of us took our spots in the middle of the floor. Once the slow music started, Whiskey gently placed his hand on my back, which caused me to sharply inhale a breath. I could almost taste the billowing cologne on his neck, as he twirled me in his arms. He'd hold me close, and I could feel the warmth of him heating my body. Every time we'd lock eyes, I'd see a different side of him. He was confident and serious, but in a way that made him darker than ever before. It was like he was eerily confident in embracing his dark side subtly. It was like he was an entirely different person, and I could tell that by his polished brown eyes.

In the midst of Whiskey sweeping me off my feet on the dance floor, I caught a glimpse of the balcony up above. It was like the Devil himself had appeared there, clad in an all-black tuxedo and black-and-red masquerade mask. Even from where I was, his presence sent a fearful chill down my spine. The angel of darkness—or pure hell for that matter—looked down on the dancing and socialization below. And even though I was far away from where he was, I could tell by his dark, soulless eyes that he didn't deserve a place in the darkest hell. All because I saw nothing behind his eyes. He wasn't just evil because of his fragile past. No, the past of his fueled his evil ways.

He was just the purest incarnation of the devil—if not, much more evil than Satan himself—that could ever doom the Earth.

In his eyesight, I immediately became afraid of him. It seemed like every time he showcased his dark glare beneath the mask, I would get nightmares of his past crimes and murders. Daily executions at his hand, for that matter. If the rumors were true, he'd average about five a day. To me, his hellish personality left chaos and ruin in his wake. His terrifying, dark-shadowed wake.

"He's here," I told Whiskey, not breaking the strong gaze I had on him.

Whiskey took a glance at the balcony, seeing Balor overlooking the ball below. "I guess that's our signal, then."

"I'll go up there and work my magic," I said, then bringing my voice down to a lower voice. "Hopefully, you could pay me back by working your magic when we have downtime."

Whiskey chuckled. "Just wait 'til we're completely alone," he whispered deeply into my ear.

I smiled subtly and reluctantly escaped his secure grasp. I didn't want to leave. Whiskey made me feel safe in his arms, and leaving them stirred a familiar feeling of anxiety and stress inside me. Still, I kept my confident front, picking up the skirt of my dress and marching to the top of the balcony. I ascended the stairs with angelic grace, keeping my eye on the top of the stairs.

Once I reached the top, an ominous feeling rang through me. His eyes set my soul aflame, leaving a lasting sense of burning hesitation in me. But I knew that I had to keep up the act in order to find out more about Balor's plans for world genocide. If I didn't, then Whiskey and I would get nowhere...and once again, the world and all of its inhabitants would be completely fucked and signing their lives away.

"And who might you be?" Balor asked in a low tone voice, using just his hand to dismiss the rest of his henchmen.

I inhaled sharply and introduced myself, ultimately starting this act. "Isabelle Schneider, daughter of Matilda and Alaric Schneider. I hail from Berlin and lived there for most of my life."

"Matilda and Alaric Schneider? Don't they work for the German Embassy?" Balor asked.

"They do," I simply confirmed. "Philanthropists by day, assassins for the German Embassy by night."

"Mmm. Assassins," he repeated, soon changing the subject that I was already prepared for. "Might I ask why they aren't here tonight?"

"They got tied up at work. Apparently, hiding the dead body of a highly-respected German official is a lot more complicated than throwing some dirt over top of the corpse. So they sent me and my older brother in their place."

He placed his hand on my back, feeling the material of the ballgown. As he did this, I bit the inside of my cheek to keep me from doing anything too out of the ordinary.

"I see."

Then, I decided to form my next plan of attack. I had to get Balor to spill his guts about what he had planned for his plans of genocide on a global scale. To enact my first phase, I decided to use some gestures that I considered seductive in a way. As Balor looked away, I used my index finger to turn his face toward me, bringing his attention to me.

"So a little birdie told me that you have a plan to blow Earth off the map," I said.

His sullen face turned into one of beaming, evil pride. "I sure do. In fact, I think this plan is absolutely foolproof."

Then, he got into a long monologue about his plans for global genocide. From what I uncovered, it's a dastardly plan. A plan so dastardly that I almost threw up out of pure disgust. How could a man be so evil? How could he be here and living without a shred of humanity left in his bones?

"This world. This damned world. It's caused me too much pain. So, in a fit of revenge, I came up with a plan. A plan so complex and foolproof that no one can stop me. You wanna know why I came up with this plan? Because the world let me down. It let me the fuck down. It was supposed to not only give me what I deserve, but also give me opportunities to rebuild my life. It never did."

"Well, I guess that's what you get for living the life of a criminal," I said finally.

"I guess so," Balor said, his eyes turning from sincere and broken to malicious and homicidal, "but rules are rules. The world has to pay for the pain it's caused me. So I'm making a weapon. A chemical weapon that's going to unleash something onto this world that will cause everything and everyone on it to die."

I kept my Stoic facade, but inside, I was jumping for joy. I was getting all the information Whiskey and I needed to stop Balor.

"What's the chemical used in this weapon?"

"Chlorine gas. Enough of it in the atmosphere will deprive Earth of all the life it has on it," Balor explained, "and those antidotes that those Kingsman agents stole are filled with potassium permanganate. Without it, then the concentrated hydrochloric acid can't react to it, which means there's no chlorine gas. That means the world can't choke to death."

"Is there any way to destroy it?" I interrogated, gently running my fingers up and down Balor's neck.

Balor shrugged. "Yeah. But it's top secret, though."

"I promise I won't tell," I said, speaking clearly and seductively into Balor's ear.

He sighed and relented to my request. Perfect. Exactly what I want, I thought.

"Fine. I'll tell ya," he finally responded.

There he goes, rambling on and on about how the chemical weapon could be destroyed. He described it in such perfect detail that it was like he was describing a scene to a blind person. I guess Balor didn't see me as a suspecting person, but it was partly because I was causing Balor to fall into my trap. My convoluted, genius plan of a trap.

"Wow. That's a lot to go through if you want to destroy the weapon," I finally commented.

"That's what makes the plan perfect," Balor answered. "These Kingsman agents won't have the brains, nor the balls, to destroy this weapon because it's too damn complicated. There's no way they'll know how to destroy it. And even if they did, there's no way they could remember all the steps it takes to dismantle this weapon and keep the world from dying a horrible death."

As part of the plan, I put my hand on the railing on the balcony, letting Whiskey know that it was time for tea to be spilled. I had pretty much all the information I needed to save the world, all thanks to this trap of mine. I felt proud of it. I managed to seduce the world's most wanted criminal into spilling all the details related to his downfall. It didn't stop me from pondering over one convoluted question:

How could a man so disgustingly evil—so evil that even the darkest hell doesn't have a place for him—be so stupid and naive?

But the only conclusion I could draw up was that evil blinds you. It blinds and brainwashes you to the point that everything you ever knew is twisted into a pessimistic lens. It changes you in the worst possible ways, and I have reason to believe that this happened to Balor in his terrifying ascension to power.

"Isabelle, Mother's calling," Whiskey spoke in a low tone voice in my ear.

"Alright. Excuse me," I said to Balor, taking Whiskey's arm and following him away from the scene.

He led me out of the ballroom and into a broom closet, allowing me to finally breathe normally again. It was relatively tiny, but it was much bigger than the box Whiskey and I were trapped in when we smuggled our way into Balor's secret facility in Chelyabinsk. It almost looked like a miniature version of a walk-in closet, but it was a lot more uncomfortable compared to normal large closets.

"You sure this is a safe spot to spill deep dark secrets?" I questioned, regaining some breath that I lost from seducing Balor.

"I'm definite, sugar. This thing has a stainless steel slide-bolt lock. One of the strongest ever made," Whiskey said, taking the strong steel lock and sliding it over as he locked us inside tightly.

It gave me time to take off my masquerade mask, seeing the world with normal eyes fairly briefly. "Boy, have I got some tea for ya!"

Whiskey took off his mask, carefully undoing the tied ribbon and letting it fall. He and I locked eyes again, and it was like the heavens opened up for me. Everything was, once again, right in the world. Everything I ever wanted was right here in front of me, so that makes me the happiest girl on this planet.

"You do? Spill everything you know," he said.

He propped his arm up, leaning against it and leaning closer to me. He and I were so close that I could feel his hot breath skirting my face. It made me shutter, but only subtly, before I started my long spiel about spilling Balor's secrets.

"So, according to Satan himself, he definitely has something to destroy the world with. I can confirm that he has a weapon getting constructed as we speak. The weapon itself is a chemical weapon designed to launch itself into the air and release chlorine gas into the atmosphere, ultimately killing everyone and everything that lives on the Earth below. And those antidotes that we stole from the mountains, yeah. Those are potassium permanganate crystals, and they're, along with concentrated hydrochloric acid, important in creating chlorine gas."

"Is there any way to destroy this weapon?" Whiskey asked.

"I'm glad you asked because he told me about that," I answered, "in precise detail too."

"Go ahead," he said with a smirk painted across his face. "I'm all ears."

I inhaled and started to explain to Whiskey what Balor told me. "He said there was an intricate way to cut some wires inside the machine. There were red, green, blue, black, and gray. I can't remember the way he said to cut them successfully, but he said that if you cut them the wrong way, it speeds up the process of the weapon releasing the gas into the air."

He kissed me hard, but only for a brief time. I could tell he was more than excited about this information. After we parted, Whiskey used his hand to grasp my chin and the top of my throat, tilting my head to face ahead.

"You're a genius. You know that," he complimented.

"I'd—I'd say so. Then again, I'm not that modest with myself," I answered hesitantly.

He then used only his index finger and thumb to tilt the head to the side. The side that was farthest away from him. My neck was exposed to him, and I could easily feel his hot breath gently blowing onto it. It sent chills down my spine, but these were different from the chills Balor sent. These were good chills. Chills that embraced the desire I had for Whiskey. I wanted him more than ever, but I never could take advantage of this feeling because of the mission we're both obligated to.

"I—I hope you know that I'm—I'm a virgin," I stuttered.

He smirked crookedly and let out a low chuckle. Even though I couldn't see his face, I assumed that he was somehow turned on by me. I don't know how I did it, but I somehow managed to turn him on. It didn't, however, help prepare me for what he was about to say next.

"Good. Then, maybe you'll scream my name a little bit louder for me."

I nibbled at my bottom lip, waiting for what was about to happen next. Well, the unexpected did happen. He aggressively—but in a gentle way—planted his moist lips onto the side of my neck, kissing it as if he was making out with me. It sent electrifying pulses through my body, which also allowed me to feel when this intimate moment between Whiskey and I got a lot steamier. He then resorted to get a tad more aggressive with the kiss, progressively biting down onto my skin. Even though I couldn't see it, I rightfully assumed that it would leave bite marks in the morning.

Am I complaining? No. I actually want the bite marks. It'd be like wearing my own personal trophy.

"Fuck," I moaned.

Whiskey continued on with what he was doing, which—at the time—was biting down on my neck. As the tension between us continued to boil, I used my free hand to grasp tightly onto the skirt of the ballgown, with my other hand matching itself on the back of Whiskey's head. To prevent my eyes from rolling to the back of my hand, I closed them, allowing my mind to race and my heart to throb a lot stronger than ever.

The moment we were having was all ruined when I started to hear footsteps in the distance. Whiskey and I had to stop before anyone became suspicious, despite me wanting this moment to continue on.

"Whiskey, I'm hearin' footsteps," I muttered.

He stopped, looking up at the door and checking the lock on it. "Fuck. That means we gotta get out of here."

"I'm afraid it's Balor," I whispered, as the footsteps came closer. "If he finds out that we were in there together, he's either gonna think we're fucked up in the head, or not who we say we are."

I helped Whiskey tie on his masquerade mask, while he was careful in slipping mine back on. He didn't want to mess up the hair, which I have to give him credit for. He appreciated the job that I did on my hair.

Eventually, Whiskey and I got out of the cramped storage closet and evaded the passers-by, reentering the ballroom as if nothing had happened. Except...something did happen. Balor was not standing at his normal perch at the top of the balcony. He was nowhere to be seen. Alarms started to go off in my head, and my eyes started to wildly search for him. He could be anywhere. Absolutely anywhere. Then again, it was hard telling because he has such a huge estate.

"He's gone," I said to Whiskey.

"What?" he asked as he looked up at the balcony to find Balor's absence.

He also started to look for Balor, who could be checking out the ballroom scene. After all, it would be generous of him to greet his guests. But was he going to be generous? Well, there's a good chance that this evil, disgusting excuse of a man wouldn't. He's pure evil, why would he do such a thing?

"Just calm down," Whiskey whispered into my ear. "Let's get a drink. See if we can scope him out from there."

Whiskey and I then went to get drinks from the bar, standing and acting like we were normal members of society who were socializing to pass time. I kept my eyes peeled, looking for the angel of darkness in his red-and-black masquerade mask. Surprisingly, he was the only one wearing all black, so he couldn't be hard to miss.

"There he is," I said, subtly pointing him out to Whiskey from afar.

"Where?"

"Over on the far wall there," I answered. "He's looking for someone, I can tell."

Whiskey glanced at me. "You must be good at reading people then."

I shrugged and nodded, indicating that yes. I was indeed good at reading people and their body languages. Four years of criminal justice at university really paid off with that sort of shit.

"Don't worry, sugar. I'm here to protect ya," Whiskey reassured.

As the moon slowly ascended high into the sky, Whiskey and I found ourselves slowly swaying to the slow tunes of the live orchestra. I rested my head on his chest, listening to his consistent heartbeat over and over again. It made me feel safe and comfortable in his arms. Just like I always dreamed of.

"He's coming over to us, sugar," Whiskey said in a low-toned voice. "Be prepared."

I turned around to face Balor, who strolled up to face me with bold and eerily evil confidence. Though he looked intimidating, I was not afraid of this man, whether he had the mask on or not. I was not afraid of him.

"Rumors are swirling that you're single," Balor sneered.

I smiled and decided that I was going to play along. "Well, the rumors are wrong. I'm actually taken."

"I'd hate to come face-to-face with that guy."

"Good. You'll hate him anyway. He's an agent for the Rebellion," I lied partially.

"Where's he from?" Balor pestered.

"He's from None Of," I said in a thick German accent.

Balor cocked his eyebrow, becoming confused with my answer. "None Of?"

I smiled a wicked grin. "None of your damn business!"

Whiskey tried so hard not to laugh, but he managed to do everything in his power to keep his cool. Balor, on the other hand, was not very pleased. His face started turning beet red, and his fists clenched up tightly. He was thinking about punching me, but I wasn't afraid of a little punch. I've faced trainees for the Secret Service bigger than him. Balor would be no problem for me to take down. After all, I did it once before. Why not a second time?

"Well, then, that boyfriend of yours better run from a fucking bitch like you. You're just as bad as those Kingsman agents trying to stop me from destroying the world," he sternly said in a low voice. "I bet that when you two are alone, he's going to dump you in a heartbeat when he realizes that you aren't what he expected in the bedroom."

I gasped. Out of impulse, I quickly slapped Balor on the side of his jaw, causing him to recoil slightly.

"Time to go, sugar," Whiskey said, taking me firmly by the wrist and dragging me out of the ballroom.

After turning around, I followed Whiskey as we dashed out of the ballroom and to the outside, the back half of my dress's skirt dancing in the breeze I created from sprinting. Despite me having an ankle splint on, I was running a lot faster than I thought I would. Then again, I only did it to keep up with Whiskey, who started up the truck quickly after I got in. Luckily, my dress didn't get ripped throughout the pursuit. As Whiskey started to pull away, Balor came out to the front steps of his mansion standing there helplessly.

I took this opportunity to rip off my masquerade mask and turn around in my seat to face Balor. Whiskey drove the truck off in a flash, while I decided to leave Balor a message that would probably stick, since Whiskey and I had successfully snuck into his masquerade ball and tricked him.

"So long, motherfucker," I shouted at Balor, giving him two middle fingers and laughing uncontrollably.

Whiskey then rammed through the front gates and got us onto the main road, speeding away just in case we were being chased. Good thing we weren't.

"You had to do that?" he asked.

"Well, yeah. I never felt more alive doin' that," I answered. "We tricked Balor. We got 'im on his toes. And we have pretty much all the information we need to take him down."

Whiskey chuckled. "We sure do, sugar. We sure do."

He wrapped his arm around me, bringing me closer to him as we continued to drive off into the night back to the Romanov Agency. Now, Whiskey and I had the necessary steps we needed to take down Balor—in the future—in a climactic final battle. And I crave and dread to see the day that that happens.

#agent whiskey #creative writing #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #writers on tumblr #writerscommunity #fanfiction

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fangirleaconmigo · 2 years ago

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Sister and life update.

Since it's about cancer I'll put it under the cut. There are also pics of us at the Supernatural SAG-Aftra/WGA strike day down below.

So, after my sister's surgery, they did a test 'on the spot' with immediate results was that quite ominous. The surgeon looked grave as fuck when she was like...this is an aggressive type, (it is called serous) and it has ruptured in two places already, so it has been in there awhile. (the rupture is a problem because the fluid from the mass carries the cancer cells)

We spent two weeks bracing ourselves for stage three and a poor prognosis. My other younger sister who is a nurse was like...there is no way we get better than stage three. We were bracing ourselves for a tooth and nail fight for her life.

Then the official pathology came back for the whole mass. It turns out it was multi-part, and the bit they tested before was only a small part of the picture.

The main part of the mass was an entirely different kind of ovarian cancer (endometrial) and was EARLY STAGE. The serous component was small and low grade.

Not only that, but other than the fluids, it hadn't spread. The omentum, the lymph nodes ALL CLEAR.

I was sitting in the doctor's office taking notes as she spoke (the surgeon was surprised by the results too) and trying not to just start sobbing. I was texting the rest of the family and my other younger sister said she was crying so hard she had to miss her morning meetings.

It's like you're on the electric chair and just before they pull the switch they say JUST KIDDIN. Oh god were we happy. But the terror bleeding from your body is intense.

My sister (the sick one) was like...if you wanna go in the bathroom and cry I won't judge you. I didn't. but I did drink heavily all day.

It took days for my body to feel somewhat normal again. But wow the relief. The joy.

My sister does need chemo because of the rupture, but her prognosis is excellent. I feel bad being so happy when she is so stressed about chemo. But the thing is, I get to keep her. I get to keep my sister.

Gahhhh it's hard to even talk about it without crying. The relief.

(It'll be just like @thequeeninyellowlace said. We will have a rough Thanksgiving this year where she will feel bad. But then next year she will be better, and the year after that too.)

So then, the day after this news, my sister was so stir crazy and tired of being in the house recovering from surgery, that I agreed to drive her out to LA on Supernatural strike day. It just happened to be the day after her appointment so we wandered out there and supported the strike. It was amazing. We didn't stay long and she was exhausted after, but it was worth it for the spirit lifting effect.

So here, have pics of us with Kripke, Misha, and The Winchesters kids. They were all delightful. We told Kripke how much his creation means to us, which was super nice to be able to do. Misha was so gorgeous as always, (pics do not do him justice, you *think* you know how gorgeous he will be then he outshines every time), and he is so sweet. We saw about fifty other cast members but we had to stop taking pics because a strike is not a fan convention. But it was a special day.

So yeah, surgery done and dusted, we fit in some nerdery, and up next, chemo.

If you've read this far, thanks for caring <3

So I’ve been a bit absent. Putting a ‘read more’ because shit in my life has gotten very real very quickly.

One of my younger sisters went to urgent care with stomach discomfort last Tuesday. It turned out that she had a huge mass in her pelvis, (18x25 cm) and our lives were plunged into a black hole of fear.

In the past week/weekend, she’s gotten blood tests and referrals for more scans. Every test result is more ominous and terrifying than the last. It is definitely ovarian cancer and she will need a major surgery and we don’t know what else.

In one day, I moved her completely into my house. She gave notice on hers. We are trying to find foster care for her cats while she is in treatment because she can’t care for them during, and neither can I.

We still haven’t had a proper prognosis and treatment plan. That will be today, I hope. I am about to drive her to her first actual appointment with a real oncologist.

It’s early and I’m lying awake in my bed. I haven’t slept much in the past weeks. I go to sleep googling ovarian cancer, and I wake up and google ovarian cancer, and I feel like an entire house is crushing me. I can barely breathe. I have to go fetal position for a few minutes sometimes during the day to get through it.

We need some hope today. We need some good news. We need, at the very minimum, a plan for her care. Something to focus on.

Please keep us in your thoughts and send us some love and good will. She is either in shock or being very brave but she could get hopeful, or devastating news today (or more terrifying limbo) and I don’t know where that will leave us.

I won’t try to tell you how much my sister means to me. But I will say that we grew up together in an isolated family with shitty, monstrous, abusive parents and it fused us together in profound ways. I raised her to the extent that a child can raise another child. (It’s like that John Mulaney joke where he said his babysitter was so young, it was like a horse caring for a dog lol)

We are both super sci-fi fantasy nerds. I watch tv with her probably three to four nights a week, and we can talk for LITERAL HOURS about the intricacies of the writing and the characters on the various franchises. We usually agree, but we probably woke the neighbors with our argument about who the best Doctor Who companion was.

We work at the same hospital and share an office one day a week, and the people in the hall probably hear our elaborate Star Wars or MCU theories.

I know better than to get her started about certain things, but no matter what I do, every Thanksgiving she gives an entire speech about how the LOTR movie adaptations failed Gimli, son of Gloin.

We’ve been to Supernatural cons (we’ve both written SPN fic), and SDCC together many times. Actually, we went to ECCC together this year, so @spacecores and @roguepyrola met her and can attest to the fact that she is a mouthy, down to earth, absolutely brilliant, funny, foul mouthed, nerdy ass bitch.

I NEED HER, ok, I FUCKIN NEED HER.

So if you meditate, pray, send intentions, I don’t care what it is, I need it today. Her appointment is in about three hours and we need some hope.

Thanks for reading, friends. ♥️ I know this isn’t fandom related but we’re all real life human beings here with real lives, and that’s what is happening in mine.

#random irl post

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tomtenadia · 4 years ago

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Remember Us - part 2

Double feature this week. Here we go with part 2. Rowan takes another step on the path of recovering his life.

Also, we get to meet the kids <3

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When Aelin got home that night after her shift at the hospital, she was tired and not just from the long hours spent in OR. She was tired in her soul. Aelin had managed to keep her thoughts at bay while operating, but as soon as she was out they came back. It had been hard to fight the urge to go and see him again. He wanted space. That was clear so she just went home instead.

Once she crossed the threshold, laughter welcomed her. Her kids sounded happy.

She shed her coat and removed her shoes and followed the happy sounds.

Walking into the kitchen she found her mother cooking and Thomas helping her setting the table and little Freyja banging her plastic cutlery on her high chair. She was a shy girl but would become alive and loud when she was hungry. Just like her mum.

“Mama!” Shouted her daughter as she spotted her.

“Mum,” Thomas echoed his sister and ran to her, hugging Aelin at her knees “hi my darling, how are you?” She kneeled at his height and ruffled his blonde hair.

“Helping grandma cook.”

“Food.” Shouted Freyja who got agitated trying to get the attention of her mother. Aelin went to her daughter and lifted the wee girl in her arms “hi my love,” and she snuggled her head against her mother’s chest.

“Hi mum,” said Aelin to Evalin. The woman stirred something in the pan and turned to her daughter “welcome back, darling.” She said and her gaze turned worried at her daughter’s tired expression.

Aelin shook her head, knowing what her mother was about to say “later,” she added. She did not want to talk about Rowan in front of the kids.

“Come on Tom, sit at the table. Dinner is ready.” On his grandma’s orders the boy climbed on his chair and started eating his meal.

Aelin joined them a moment later, all changed in house clothes and sat at her daughter’s side.

Thomas was three and had just started learning how to use a fork properly. They would cut the food for him and he would try to use the utensil. Rowan had been teaching him. A pang of sadness hit her and pushed back the tears, now it was not the time. She would feed Freyja who was only eighteen months old.

“Did you help grandma cook?”

The boy nodded while taking a bite from his fork and gave her a big smile. His green eyes lighting up with joy. Eyes just like his father’s.

“Aelin, let me feed Freyja. You have your dinner. You haven’t touched it yet.”

Aelin shook her head “I am fine. It can wait.”

Truth was… she felt nauseous and that feeling had nothing to do with being pregnant. It was fear. Terror of losing Rowan. Terror that he would never recover his memories and her kids would be left without a father and her without her soulmate. She almost lost him once. She would never forget the day she got the call from the hospital. Those horrible moments were forever etched in her memory.

Later on that night, once the kids were in bed Evalin joined her daughter on the sofa and brought her a chamomile tea.

“The kids are asleep. What’s troubling you?”

Aelin sighed and her hand went to her stomach “Rowan woke up.”

“Today?”

She nodded in confirmation and leaned her head on her mother’s shoulder “I had just left the OR when I got a page from his doctor. I went to his room and he was awake,” a loud sob broke from her lips “he does not remember me or the kids.”

Evalin pulled her daughter closer and hugged her knowing the pain she had been feeling for the past month “Yrene had told you it might happen.”

Aelin nodded slightly “I didn’t think it could hurt that much. He had no idea who I was. He doesn’t remember our kids.” Her sobs turned into proper crying “I am so scared, mum. So, so scared.”

“I know, darling.” Evalin kissed her daughter’s head “you will have to be strong a bit longer. Does the doctor think he will regain his memory?”

Aelin gave her a small nod “but it might take time and what if he realises that he doesn’t want us in his life anymore?”

“Rowan loves you and the kids madly. The road ahead might be bumpy but he will come back.” A ragged breath escaped from Aelin. She hoped her mother was right, because if she was not she doubted she would survive loosing him a second time.

Rowan woke up the next morning with an horrendous headache. He had a fitful sleep and his thoughts had been stuck all night on her. Aelin. His wife. At her side two small shadows representing their kids. In his mind he had this picture of him holding someone, the smell of lemon and verbena strong around him. But he was sure it was more a feeling than an actual memory. He had woken up all of a sudden and hadn’t been able to fall asleep properly since. His body recognised the other one.

A nurse brought breakfast and of one thing he was sure. He hated hospital food. Which led to another series of questions. What did he eat for breakfast? Was he a good cook? What was his favourite food?

Reluctantly he finished the food on his tray and decided to kill the boredom by watching tv. According to the news it was January and the meteorologist were warning all the citizens of Terrasen of a snowstorm warning.

He was so bored watching the news that he felt glad when Aelin knocked on the doorframe “Mind if I come in?”

He shook his head “is tv always this boring?”

Aelin chuckled and for a second she saw a glimpse of him. He always hated tv. The only reason they had one in the house was because she had pestered him about it “yeah. You find reading more interesting.”

He switched off the television and faced her “I am…” he sighed “yesterday… I was overwhelmed. It was… it still is too much.”

“I know,”said Aelin trying to suppress the instinct to touch him. Not until he was okay with it.

“Tell me something about me, about my life. Us… anything.” He started, eager to know more. He needed it “do I like breakfast?”

Aelin laughed “you do, and you are a great cook. On Saturdays you always make us pancakes and let Thomas help you flip them.” She smiled at the image. Thomas on his knees on a chair beside his dad.

“You are a healthy eater so you tend to scoff enormous quantities of fruit and veggies while complaining about my crazy dietary habits.”

She was dying to show him pictures of the kids but decided against it. One step at a time. Let him become familiar with the idea of being married first.

“You are a lawyer. A kickass one at that.” His green eyes were trained on her “you and Lorcan opened your own practice. After graduation you two got a job in a fancy company but eventually got tired of dealing with rich bastards and opened a firm that deals mostly with family law but also offers legal support to us common human beings.” She had been so proud of him. The big job had left him miserable and with very little time to live. He had been stressed and after two years he had realised that the huge salary was not worth it. Lorcan had followed him and together they had started their new adventure. They had started small snd simple, but slowly as they took in more cases they had to start hiring more people and the firm had gotten bigger and successful.

“You love hiking, nature in general and winter. We are both in love with theatre and on our first date you took me to a play.”

Rowan looked at her and that tug in his chest came back for a visit.

“We have been married for seven years and you proposed at my best friend’s wedding. We were dancing and you asked me what if we were the next ones to do that? Then you went on one knee and asked me to marry you.”

He kept listening, adding some more pieces of info to what he had gathered so far. And the more Aelin spoke the more that connection he had felt the day before grew stronger.

“What type of doctor are you?”

“I am the chief of paediatric neurosurgery and I work two floors above this.”

Rowan took a deep breath and asked a question that had been burning in him since she has appeared “do you have any photos of us, of the kids?”

Aelin felt like crying and extracted her mobile phone and scrolled through her huge quantity of photos “This is Thomas. He is three.”

Rowan looked at the boy and saw a blond mop of hair just as golden as his mother’s and two striking green eyes just like his. In the photo the boy was laughing while he held him in his arms.

Aelin swiped and the image of a little girl appeared and he gasped. There was no doubt that she was his daughter. Her hair was silver as his and even her eyes were the exact copy.

“She is so much like you.” He noticed the smile appearing on Aelin’s face. While she talked about their life her face had lit up and in front of him he had the most stunning woman he had ever seen. Probably. He wasn’t sure but Aelin took his breath away.

“Are we happy? As a family?”

Aelin nodded without even thinking about it. They were, she had no doubts about it “Yes. We wanted a family, kids. It was our choice.”

Rowan nodded and wanted to believe her, needed to believe the passion and the love in her voice.

“I need time.” He said quietly, averting his gaze from hers for just a brief moment “This is a lot that I need to process. I will need time but I want to hear more.”

Aelin sobbed and grabbed her backpack and extracted another mobile phone “this is yours. It survived the crash because you used a military grade protecting cover. I just charged it. The password is 0305.” She gave him the mobile “it has photos, texts. Everything is still there, maybe it will help.”

Aelin looked at her watch and stood “I have to go, I have a surgery in two hours.”

Rowan nodded.

“You can text me if you want. My contact is under Fireheart.”

He looked at the phone and then at her “will you come back?”

Aelin took a step toward him and kissed his silver hair as she did the previous day and then nodded.

She waved at him and disappeared through the door.

He moved his attention to the phone and tried to figure out how to switch it on. Once he did it asked him a pin code and he entered the digits she had told him.

Once the phone was unlocked he was welcomed by a picture of him, Aelin and the kids on a beach. He had Freyja on his shoulders and was laughing as she patted his head. Aelin was holding Thomas potato sack style and the boy was grinning. With his fingers he traced her face and then went looking for the photo album. Before opening he hesitated. His life, his memories were there and he was scared.

There were picture of his wife. Plenty of them and she always had an amazing smile. Of one thing he was sure:Aelin took his breath away. Photos of their kids and he spotted one of what he suspected was a newborn Freyja. He held the little bundle in his arms while Thomas was at his side staring at his sister. He saw happiness, he saw joy, but most of all he saw love. Deep love that bound the four of them. Aelin had not lied. They seemed happy. He found photos of what he assumed were friends but he could not tell who they were, he hadn’t covered that part yet. Accepting the idea of a wife and kids was hard enough. He was not ready yet to add more people. The mere idea made him feel dizzy.

He was getting tired again even if it was only morning, but he pushed through and found the app with the text messages and went to look at the ones from Aelin and he read the last one she sent him go and win your case and then tonight I will show you how proud I am of my sexy lawyer.

He scrolled back through the thread and read random texts between them until he went back a few months and saw a text with a picture attached.

You are away for work and I miss you. I went for my first proper check-up and I am proud to share with you the picture of the new member of our family. The image was greyish and grainy but the message was clear: Aelin was pregnant again.

He placed the phone on his lap and closed his eyes calming the sense of panic overwhelm him.

And with his eyes closed he tried to remember.

#rowaelin #rowan whitethorn #rowan x aelin #aelin galathynius #rowaelinkids #angst

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ransomedrogue · 4 years ago

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Tales of Woe - Scenes from S1

ahhhhh so much blood and pain and worry... such a great episode!

1.15

It all happened in an instant.

She saw the panic in Weller's expression and heard him yell "bomb" just before the world disappeared in front of her. Then, for what seemed like an eternity, there was nothing but darkness and a distinct ringing in her ears.

As soon as her senses recovered from the blast, Jane shouted out to check on everyone's status and was relieved to hear both Reade and Zapata respond quickly. But when Weller didn't chime in immediately, she started looking around frantically and spotted him a few feet away; still down on the ground and barely moving.

Panic threatened to overcome her as Jane hurried to Weller's side and saw that he was bleeding heavily from his neck. Quickly she clamped one hand over his wound, and tried to hold his head still with her other hand as she yelled out for help. Weller was already struggling to keep his eyes open and the pool of blood underneath him was growing at an alarming rate.

She could hear Reade call for an ambulance and then Zapata was at her side, offering her a clean cloth. Gratefully, Jane pressed the towel hard against Weller's jugular, even though the action made him groan and his eyes blinked closed in reaction to the pain.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she stammered. "But I need to stop the bleeding."

Weller made a little grunt, and Jane thought he even tried to nod.

"No, don't try and move," she soothed, trying to rub his temple while also holding his head steady.

"The ambulance is going to be here soon."

Kurt blinked his eyes open again for a second, and she could see her own panic reflected in his expression. Then his eyelids slid shut once again and Jane knew that time was short.

"You're going to be okay, Kurt," she said, desperately hoping she wasn't lying to him.

He was much too still though and Jane found her focus flickering between the rise and fall of his chest and the growing puddle under him. So she had no idea how long it was between the moment Weller slipped into unconsciousness and the arrival of the paramedics, but it felt like an entire lifetime of trying to physically hold his blood in his body. She could vaguely sense Reade giving updates on the EMTs and Tasha telling her to breathe. Yet all Jane could see was how pale and listless Kurt was in her arms, and all she could hear was a loud voice in her head telling her this was all her fault.

When help finally arrived, Jane was so fixated on holding onto Weller that they almost had to physically remove her hands from him. But when she finally stumbled back and saw the EMTs spring into action, there was a small hit of relief from seeing them quickly bandaging Kurt's wound and strapping an oxygen mask onto him.

Once the paramedics were done working on him and Weller was secure on the stretcher, Jane rushed forward to grab his hand. Even though he wasn't conscious anymore, she wanted him to know that he wasn't alone, and to reassure herself that he was still alive. Her heart hadn't stopped hammering since she'd first seen the extent of Kurt's injury and even now she felt sick to her stomach looking at his blood on the ground.

Following the EMTs as they wheeled Weller out of the building, her heart was still in her throat and she wanted desperately to jump in the ambulance with them. Letting go of him seemed terrifying, even though he was getting the best of care and she knew it wasn't her place to insist on staying with him.

"You're going to be okay, Kurt," she repeated, for what seemed like the millionth time since he was hurt.

Of course he didn't respond, his hand limply falling away after she squeezed it tight just one more time before forcing herself to let go.

Jane watched as the paramedics loaded Weller into the ambulance and sped off, then turned to look at Reade and Zapata.

"We should go to the hospital with him," she said, breaking the stunned silence between them.

Reade shook his head.

"Mayfair wants us to head back to the NYO," he said. "We can't do anything more for him and he's in good hands now."

Jane gritted her teeth at his answer, her chest tightening as she thought about just continuing on, as if Kurt's life hadn't just run through her hands. Standing there, her fingers red and sticky, she started to argue; but then Zapata stepped forward with a sympathetic frown and gripped her on the shoulder.

"Jane, he's going to be in surgery once they get him to the hospital," Tasha reasoned.

"You're going to go crazy just sitting there and waiting."

She knew it was true but it still felt wrong to be anywhere else when his life was in danger.

"He's going to be okay, Jane. Let's get back so we can get started on the case."

Of course Zapata was right.

He was going to be okay. He had to be okay.

Because, if Weller died because of a tattoo case; that would be the end of it all. Things would get blown to pieces and, this time, she would be the bomb.

###

He'd never been so relieved and angry, both at the same time. The things she made him feel – it was uncharted territory.

Where there be dragons.

That's what ancient maps would say, about unknown lands. Which resonated a lot, because he was currently feeling quite fiery himself.

Weller's eyes followed Jane as they finally wrapped up on the boat and headed back towards the SUV. He hadn't said much to her since finding her on the deck alone, because he had been dealing with securing the crime scene and getting agents in the water to look for a body. There was a lot of procedure to deal with after a shooting and Kurt had hoped it would give him time to settle his own emotions. Yet doing his job had only made him increasingly weary, especially as the wound on his neck began to throb as the night wore on.

Jane opened the door to the vehicle and sat in the back seat, huddled in a defensive posture. Kurt remembered snapping at her earlier when she'd tried to explain herself, telling her that they'd talk about back at the NYO. He winced a bit at the memory, knowing he'd been short with her because of how goddamned scared he'd been all day.

He'd almost lost her again, more times than he could count.

At least he'd taken the brunt of the explosion that was meant for her. But then he'd been in surgery when she'd been shot twice in the plates by a sniper. It was only luck that the shooter hadn't anticipated her vest and gone for a headshot. Or that he hadn't shot her right in front of his eyes, when they were trapped in the boat.

Weller's heart rate began to rise just thinking about it. Angrily, he tore his eyes away from Jane and went to the other side of the SUV. But the image of her being held at gunpoint still remained in his mind.

Part of him knew he should just take some space and sit in the front seat. He'd told her that they'd meet at the NYO with Mayfair and he should take advantage of the time to settle his rampant emotions. And yet Weller watched himself pull open the back door and seat himself next to her, as if having an out of body experience.

Reade started driving and it was awkwardly silent in the vehicle. Weller glanced over at Jane, who was doing her best to just gaze out the window. Again, he knew he should follow her lead, yet it was impossible not to stare at her, after wondering all day if she was still alive. Even though turning his head like that pulled at the stitches on his neck.

About halfway through the drive, the ache became nearly unbearable and Weller realized it was because his adrenaline level had finally died down. Still glaring at Jane, he tried to stir up his anger at the risk she'd taken; reminding himself that he just almost watched her die. But it was harder now to access that strong emotion and, instead, Kurt found himself closing his eyes for a moment, with one hand clamped over his wound and the other tightly gripped together. So, he was completely startled and nearly hit the ceiling of the SUV when she put her hand over his fist; his eyes flying open and finding her leaning towards him.

"You should still be in the hospital," Jane said.

Weller gritted his teeth as he was flooded with a mixed bag of emotions. The concern in her voice, combined with the gentleness of her touch, was nearly too inviting. Yet, when he caught both Reade and Zapata nodding in agreement at her statement, he remembered exactly why he'd done it, despite their opinions.

Lying in a bed idle while her life was in danger would have been impossible. And now he had to defend his decision, even if he was beginning to feel like shit.

"I'm fine," he growled, trying to shift his eyes away from hers.

But then Jane reached out to touch his chin, and again he found her touch impossible to ignore.

"You're bleeding," she frowned.

"I'm fine," he repeated, moving his head away from her hand.

Jane took his cue and pulled back into her own corner. But now, she was the one that kept looking at him with haunted eyes.

Weller groaned internally, a mixture of physical and emotional pain flaring through him. He sensed that there was more going on than she let on and that made his worry levels shoot right back up again. But now that she was relatively safe, he was inexplicably angry at her for making him feel so strongly.

As the anxiety-fueled fire flew through him again, Kurt was surprised by how hot it still burned. The feeling of it was enough to make him hyperventilate for a moment; which then caused his head to swim precariously, as he closed his eyes in an attempt to re-establish equilibrium.

For a second he thought everything was going to settle but then his vision blurred again and Weller felt himself pitching forward against his seatbelt. He thought he was going to smack his forehead on back of Reade's seat but, at the last instant, an arm reached out to catch him across the shoulders.

"Whoa, we should take you to the doctor," Jane said, so close he could feel her breath against his ear.

Weller sucked in some air and did his best to exhale it calmly. Jane was rubbing his chest encouragingly as he repeated the slow breath, and this time he didn't pull away from how soothing it felt.

Feeling a tiny bit more solid, he looked up and saw both Reade and Zapata glancing back at him with overly concerned expressions. Again, he groaned to himself, annoyed that he'd given the team more ammo against him. Especially because a little voice in his head kept trying to convince him that they were right to be worried. He certainly wouldn't have let any of them back on the job if they felt the way he had that day.

"I'm okay. We're going back to the NYO to debrief," he ordered, trying for an authoritative tone even though he was still having a hard time keeping his head steady.

Reade shrugged and obeyed, though he flashed a wary backward look before turning his attention back to the road. Zapata also frowned her disapproval but didn't argue either.

Success, Weller thought, forcing himself up straighter in his seat and pulling away from Jane's touch. He needed to stay clear-minded about the situation and having her hands caress him certainly wasn't helping with that.

Jane read his cue and retreated to her side of the backseat, hunkering down within herself. She looked a bit upset when he flashed his eyes over at her, and Weller told himself she should be after everything she'd done that day.

He'd almost lost her, due to a risky selfless decision on her part. The fact that an act that he admired so much could make him so goddamned angry; it was paradoxical and yet it perfectly described much of his experience with Jane.

Weller closed his eyes again, frustrated at his own thoughts. The throbbing of his neck was also undeniable, no matter how many times he swore to his team that he was fine. Then there was the fact that he'd been on the move ever since checking himself out of the hospital, with no time to refuel or rest.

He just had to make it back to the office, and out of the vehicle. Once he was there, Weller was sure that he'd get caught up in the debrief and would feel less exhausted.

It was only ten more minutes but Kurt could feel his anxiety peaking as he gritted his teeth against the pain of his wound. He had to make it after telling them he was okay, there were no other options.

Weller was so focused on his breathing and counting down the time until arrival that he didn't notice Jane move at all. But then her hand was somehow holding onto his again, her fingers snaking between his as she solidified her grip. And he suddenly remembered the comfort of that feeling as he'd been slipping in and out of consciousness while the paramedics worked on him. Her protective presence had pushed back on his panic, even as he'd been passing out due to blood loss.

Kurt blinked himself back to the present, automatically reaching his other hand up to his neck before turning to question Jane with his expression. But even when he looked in her direction, she kept her gaze out the window; as if not acknowledging what her hand was up to, though it continued to squeeze his tightly.

"You're going to be okay," he felt her communicate, through her gesture.

She was impossible and infuriating and made him feel far too much. And it was all going to come pouring out, in a furious torrent of love and fear.

#blindspot #blindspot fanfic #blindspot rewatch #s1fic #i wrote this

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plussizeappreciationfics · 5 years ago

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BTS suga 💜 his black S/O who is a massage therapist and owns a Spa in Korea is helping him recover from his shoulder surgery and his mother visits to help realize that you have everything under control and that you truly love her son and while you're busy cooking she tells her son to marry her because not only are you taking care of her son so well you also are keeping the fans updated on his recovery

"You won't find someone as special as her Min Yoongi" your boyfriend's mother whispered while smiling gently at the sight of you stirring the spicy chicken in the pot. You grinned in victory when not one drop of hot oil popped out and hit you. The delicious smell filled your whole apartment, today was a special day. You and Yoongi were celebrating six months of being in a relationship together. Time had flown by and you couldn't believe that you had met the amazing artist six months ago.

The two of you had immediately become serious, the musician had never been so in love with someone, you had started out as his masseuse as he was recovering from his shoulder operation but the two of you instantly clicked and before you knew it, you were crazy about the South Korean rapper. Keeping your relationship a secret was challenging at times but all of those worries instantly flew out the window the second you were back into each other's arms.

Yoongi's mother loved you so much too. She had seen her son go through the roughest times in his life. His surgery was one of them, he felt like he was a disappointment and a burden to BTS and this made his anxiety shoot through the roof. The fact that you suddenly swept into his life and made him realise that there was so much more than letting your own negative thoughts. That was one of his biggest battles and thanks to you, it became easier to handle his inner demons and chase them away for good.

Ï know mama" Yoongi smiled and looked back at you again, this time you were doing a happy dance because the food was coming out better than you had initially had thought. You turned around and gave your lover and his mother a happy wave before checking the something in the oven.

"Everyone loves her and I know that she's the right woman for you, my son. Don't hurt her and make sure to keep her happy, a happy wife means a happy life", Yoongi's mother continued to gush over you. She had seen the way the two of you looked at each other, your eyes showing nothing but pure love and adoration for one another.

"Okay, I can take a break for a few minutes" you breathed while joining them on the couch. "How's your shoulder, hun?" you asked your boyfriend and gently ran a hand through his soft and smooth dark hair while smiling at him. Yoongi's cheeks flushed a crimson red while he gave you a cheeky grin and slightly moved his injured shoulder. The action made you scold at him, "The doctor said that you have to keep it completely still!.

Yoongi's mother laughed in adoration while watching you continue to lecture her son. He laughed loudly before leaning in and giving you a soft kiss on the cheek, still being shy at showing physical affection in front of someone else. Holding hands in public was more than enough to keep him sane and grounded but he just couldn't take the cuteness of your scolding.

When his lips left your cheek, you couldn't help but mouth "I love you" in Korean. The rapper sighed and mouthed the words back in English before closing his eyes and letting out a soft sigh, his pain medication had kicked in and he was getting sleepy.

"Come, let me tuck you in and I'll wake you when the food is done"you whispered and then stood up so that your lover could lie on the couch and get comfortable. His mother copied your actions and then went to check the food. "I love you so much [Y/N]" Yoongi whispered one last time, the words leaving your heart fluttering and your stomach doing happy flips.

You quickly leaned down and gave your boyfriend a peck on the lips, loving to feel his soft ones pressing harder against yours. You drank in the delicate sensations before pulling away and making sure that he was tucked in. Yoongi's eyes immediately closed as he fell asleep, the thought of you as his wife lingering in his mind while he zoned out the rest of the world.

Tag list: @jamesbarnesappreciationclubub l @pleasantdreamqueen l @disneymarina l l @harleycativy l @sparklemichele l @melaninmarvel l @amethyst09 l @the-force-of-imagines l @bossyboyd03 l @pebblesz892 l @stars8melanin l @brittyevans l @toc1985 l @janeyboo l @badassbaker l @winters-beauty l @cannonindeez l @ilovefanfic86 l @adorablespecialsnowflakes l @brittanyovens l @kanupps06 l @jazmynejack l @thebookwormslytherin l @theunsweetenedtruth l @talannalew l @littlexmissxfandomxlover l @amethyst-dreams-and-candy-canes l @crimsonash330 l @booklover2929 l @aranelgrey l @panda-duuu l @thisismysecrethappyplace l @titty-teetee l @honey-anon l @princess-evans-addict l @hp-hogwartsexpress l @malindacath l @letsdisneythings l l @shado-raven l @alisoncdariel l @plutoneu l @queenoftheworldisdead l @briannab1234l @miyaeadys-blog l l @hihellogoodbyebruh l @nackrosor l @nerdgurl1985 l @2darkskinbeauty l @bugngiz l @african-melanin-goddess l @barnes-wilson-love l @ktiz90 l @let-the-love-in l @robinredboob l @hopefuloperaangelnerd l @kola95 l @partypoison00 l @alwaysadreamingoptimist l @reniescarlett l @g0thicdream l @mayasopinions l @captaintightpants58 l @leillee

-Emmanuelle 💋❤️

#min yoongi #min yoongi x reader #min yoongi x poc!reader #min yoongi x plus size reader #bts fic

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never-not-ever · 4 years ago

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Soooo on top of recovering from major surgery I also ended up getting sick 😒Not covid, just a cold. The fever part sucked but luckily that’s been gone now for the past two days. I’m just left with a dry cough which tbh also sucks because I have an incision that goes around my whole lower abdomen, hips and back. I’m not sure if my surgeon did muscle repair during my surgery. I feel like he didn’t because it would make the sneezes and coughs feel 10x worse. Like I sneezed a couple days after surgery and it wasn’t as bad as I anticipated but right now the constant coughing is killing my upper abdomen.

One of my boys sleeps on me every night and he’s like a little heated, heavy weight blanket... crumpled up into a ball though lol.

I’m 3 weeks post op and sort of going stir crazy at home. Makes me want to go back to work asap but I also still don’t have full mobility so I’m definitely not going back in the next week or so. At the same time I really, really don’t want to go back to work the week before Christmas because 1- my department is most likely a shitshow and 2- my return to work date is the 24th. Even if I use up all 6 weeks I’m most definitely not returning to work on a holiday. That’s even worse than the week before.

I’m getting so ahead of myself. Just take it one day at a time....

After surgery I had 4 surgical drains, two up near my armpits, and two on my hips to just drain excess fluid after surgery. At my one week post op appointment they removed the top two drains but the bottom ones still weren’t ready. They have to drain less than 30cc over 24 hours. So they sent me home with a suture removal kit and I’ve monitoring them for the past 2 weeks and finally yesterday they were able to come out! My poor girlfriend was too squeamish to remove them so I ended up doing it myself and it was so weird but also pretty cool.

This is literally becoming so long and random and probably no one cares but it’s been a while lol..

What else...

My Nana had open heart surgery this past Monday and everything went well! She’s coming home in the next few days. Christmas is going to look a little different this year cause she won’t be able to go out and shop or decorate but her sister and brother-in-law are coming up next week to help out for her first week home. Me and my girlfriend live downstairs so we’ll help out as much as we can as well.

I’m so tempted to just delete this like I usually do in the past lol but I spent so much time so ✌🏻oh well

#personal #so boring #¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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songsformonkeys · 5 years ago

Text

Digging Up Bones (whiskey x reader) - chapter 5

[Banner by the lovely @yespolkadotkitty ]

pairing: whiskey x reader

warnings: none

notes: Special thanks to @yespolkadotkitty for being the best cheerleader and for helping me find the Whiskey voice when Ezra was a little too keen on coming out to play <3

masterlist

Chapter 5 - AO3

Over the next few weeks, the staff of the medical department slowly but surely began coming back to the HQ as more and more civilians recovered from the injuries they had sustained during what Whiskey had begun referring to as the Worldwide Freak Out. That meant things were picking up speed in the department and there was more and more admin work for you to do. You didn't really mind. It was nice to have more stuff to do again. But there was a small part of you that was a bit disappointed by the fact that more work meant less time spent with Whiskey.

The agent in question had, as soon as the cast on his leg had come off, been given a rigorously crafted schedule for physical exercise to get him back on track and back to working again as soon as possible. He took his training sessions very seriously and you suspected it was mostly in a desperate attempt to stay one step ahead of the boredom. There was an old (and faulty myth) that all sharks had to keep swimming or else they would die. If that statement had been true, Whiskey would have been one of those sharks. He didn't do stationary life very well.

After a while, you had started to keep him company on his training sessions, bringing a book to read while he excercised. He never asked you to work out with him, seemed perfectly content with just having you sit crosslegged in your scrubs on the mat closeby and read. However, most days, you didn't get as much reading done as you would have liked. There was something too fascinating about the cowboy agent stretching his body into various yoga poses while still wearing his Stetson. At least he was wearing actual workout pants and not his usual blue jeans, you had thought to yourself more than once.

Even though Whiskey was recovering remarkably well, the workouts took their toll on him and by the time the 20 minute mark rolled around, he was always a little paler than when he'd started and his hands trembled slightly as he accepted the water bottle that he always kept next to you.

The first time you'd told him that you wouldn't be able to keep him company for that day's training session because of other work, he'd looked so disappointed that you had immediately changed your mind, figuring that tomorrow was just as good for writing, if not better even. It took three more tries before you could actually hold your ground against his pleading eyes, though you suspected that a visit from Vermouth might also have made Whiskey dial down the wounded puppy look a bit. After that, you only joined him on Tuesdays and Fridays.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was a little past lunch time. Your stomach had been complaining about the lack of food for the better part of an hour but you stubbornly ignored it in favor of finishing up your work.

You made a low but frustrated growl as you were interrupted by a knock on the door to your office.

“Come in!” you snapped, loud enough for the interruptor to hear through the door, but you continued typing on your keyboard. The door creaked as it opened.

“Whoa there, darlin', your mouth said enter but that tone of yours says maybe I shouldn't...” came the soft and slightly amused voice of Agent Whiskey. You quickly spun around in your chair to greet him.

“Whiskey!” you said, feeling something warm stir in your belly. Probably hunger. You smiled and a mirroring smile spread across his lips. He was leaning on his crutches and the slight slump to his shoulders told you that he was already tired, despite it only being mid day.

“Hiya, sugar. Am I interrupting something?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“No, no. I was just finishing up,” you lied and waved him inside. As he hopped over to your desk, his eyes landed on the open document on the your screen, which was obviously nowhere near done. You quickly shut off the monitor. Whiskey didn't say anything, but the small smile on his lips looked smug.

“How are you feeling?” you asked, before he could comment on anything.

“Better now that I'm here,” he answered with a smarmy smile. You rolled your eyes at him.

“You do know that being in close proximity to a doctor isn't enough to heal you, right?” you teased.

“It's an hypothesis I'm willing to try,” he said in a dangerously low voice and leaned in. Your heart suddenly felt like it was beating in your throat, fast as a rabbit's. You knew that was physically impossible but swore that was what it felt like. Whiskey stopped, with a few inches to spare between your noses. “Hmm, as I suspected. Significantly better,” he said, with a grin.

“At what p-value?” you asked, voice barely more than a shrill whisper. Whiskey frowned.

“What?” he asked, his flirty smile giving way for confusion. You swallowed.

“You have to specify at what p-value the results are significant,” you explained.

“Oh, as high as it gets, honey,” Whiskey said, the flirty grin coming back with full force. You opened your mouth to protest but before you have a chance to, Whiskey pulled back and you could breathe again.

“I actually had a reason for coming over here, besides to interrupt your work,” Whiskey went on and leaned his hip against your desk.

Your voice still wasn't quite back to normal so you just raised your eyebrows as a response. Whiskey lowered his gaze, picked a little the handle of his crutch before looking up at you again.

“See I was hopin' that maybe you would let me make you dinner tomorrow night...”

You blinked. “Why?”

“Why?” he echoed.

“I mean, yes. That would be nice...Thank you.”

Whiskey beamed before chuckling.

“Well aren't you polite.” He glanced up at the clock on the wall, “I should get going, I have a meeting with Champ soon and it's gonna take me at least 15 minutes to hobble over there. But tomorrow it is!”

You nodded.

“Oh, and Moonshine?” he added.

“Yes?” you asked.

“No scrubs tomorrow, alright. This ain't a work-meeting.”

And with that, he left.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You stood outside of Whiskey's door the next evening and you didn't think you had ever felt this uncomfortable in your life. You had told Ginger about the dinner plans, the day before. She had offered to help you with the clothes and had then dragged you off to the Statesmen warderobe, where they held all the clothes that had been bought and used for various previous missions. You had told Ginger that you had perfectly good clothes in your room but she had just looked you up and down before simply stating that “Not for this occasion, you don't”. She hadn't specified what kind of occasion that was. And, standing outside of Whiskey's apartment in a pair of blue jeans that were so tight they might as well have been painted on and wearing a gray top with a neckline that plunged so low that open heart surgery could probably have been performed on you without having to remove the top, you still weren't sure just what kind of occasion you had been dressed for.

Your sternum felt cold. You didn't think you had ever worn a shirt that made your sternum cold. You pulled a little on the fabric, feeling awkward, before reaching up to knock on the door.

Whiskey could be heard hopping on his crutches on the other side of the door.

“Moonshine, you're just in t...” Whiskey began as he pushed the door open but then he just stopped. His mouth fell open slightly and he just stared. You felt like turning around to run. Whiskey was wearing a clean white buttondown shirt, with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, paired with his usual pair of jeans. He looked nice but he still looked like himself. Unlike you.

You waited patiently for the rest of Whiskey's sentence but it never came. You were a little tempted to wave your hand in front of him, just to make sure time hadn't stopped. But you could hear the radio playing somewhere in his apartment so it must just be you that were giving him pause.

“Hi,” you said, trying to help him back to the present, and it worked. Whiskey closed his mouth and gave you a warm smile.

“Sorry, darlin'. It just caught this ol' cowboy by surprise seeing you in clothes other than those scrubs of yours.”

“You told me I wasn't allowed to wear them,” you reminded him.

“I did. And knowing you, I figured there was about a 50% chance that you would listen,” Whiskey laughed and took a small hop forward to give you a swift kiss of the cheek. His cheek was clean-shaven and smooth against yours and he was wearing cologne. “Welcome, sugar, I'm glad you could make it.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Is something the matter, darlin'?”

You stilled in your seat and stopped fidgeting with the fabric of your shirt as you were trying to make sure that is was still covering all the bits it was supposed to cover, even after you had reached for another piece of the truly amazing chicken that Whiskey had cooked for you.

You didn't immidiately answer. Didn't want to complain. Whiskey had prepared a fantastic meal, and had even brought out candles and a tablecloth for the occasion. He'd entertained you with stories from his travels and if there was anything agent Whiskey was good at, it was telling a good story. Normally, you would have been completely entralled, but tonight you couldn't quite focus. And Whiskey had noticed.

“You've been pulling at that shirt of yours for the better part of the evening,” he continued when you didn't answer him, “And while that would usually be enough to drive any man crazy, I feel like I should ask... would you be more comfortable in a different shirt? I'd be more than happy to lend you something.”

You only hesitated for a second before nodding, feeling a little bit like a child by the fact that you apparently couldn't even dress yourself for one night out of your scrubs. Whiskey only seemed pleased by your answer, however, and he stood from the table and gestured for you to follow him into the bedroom.

You had never been in Whiskey's bedroom last time you were here so now you seized the opportinity to look around. The better part of the room was taken up by a huge bed, with a wooden bedframe that almost looked homemade. The sheets were dark blue and the bed was meticulously made. Atop of one of the bedposts hung his lasso. There was wooden closet pushed up against one of the walls and it matched the material of the bedframe. A pair of brown cowboy boots hade been kicked off into one of the corners and on a hook on the wall hung a bathrobe with the pattern of the american flag. It looked soft. The whole room was so Whiskey it was almost hilarious. The only things missing would have been a small bar and a hat rack full of Stetsons.

Whiskey emerged from the closet with a simple white t-shirt that he held up for your inspection.

“Will this fit the lady's preferences?” he asked and you nodded without really looking. Any shirt would be better than the uncomfortable mess you were currently wearing. Whiskey handed you the shirt with a teasing grin.

“I suppose sticking around to make sure is out of the question?”

You snatched the shirt from his hand and held it to your chest as you slapped his arm with your other hand. Whiskey just laughed.

“I'll be out in the kitchen then. Just holler if you need me,” he said with a wink before disappearing from the room and closing the door behind him. You waited for a few seconds, not entirely trusting that he wouldn't conveniently remember something that he just had to tell you now, before you changed.

The t-shirt was about a 100 times more comfortable than your own top and you no longer had to worry about any bodyparts escaping whe you moved. The shirt also smelled of Whiskey, which you had to admit, was an added bonus, even if you weren't sure exactly why.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After dinner, you helped Whiskey clean up. Not because he asked you but because you had noticed his shoulders beginning to slump from overexertion by the end of the meal, even though he put on a brave face trying to cover it up.

He protested when you told him you'd do the dishes, but you could hear that he only half meant it and when you began filling up the sink with water, he just picked up a towel and told you that he'd help dry the things you cleaned.

You didn't talk much while you worked and it was quite nice. You caught Whiskey watching you out of the corner of his eye more than once and every time you assured him that it's fine and that you didn't mind doing the dishes.

“That's not...” he began but he didn't finish the sentence and you didn't push.

When the dishes were done, Whiskey told you that he'd be walking you back to your room. This time it was your turn to protest, telling him that it was fine, that you could find your way home on your own and that he should rest instead.

“I'm walking you back to your room,” Whiskey told you again, in a voice that left zero room for discussion. You knew a lost cause when you saw one and so you just sighed.

“Fine, but don't complain to me when you're tired and sore tomorrow.”

“Don't make promises you can't keep, sugar,” was Whiskey's only reply and you frowned, not quite understanding what he meant.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It took twice as long for you to walk back to your room with Whiskey, as it had taken to walk over to his place without him. Whiskey's jaw was tightly clenched as he slowly limped forward with his crutches. You stopped and pretended that you had to retie your shoelaces, twice, to give him short breaks that you knew he would refuse to ask for.

When you reached the door to your room, his lips were almost worryingly pale, but when he saw your frown he gave you a warm smile.

“Don't start working just yet, darlin'. You're still off the clock,” he said.

“Your lips are very pale,” you told him.

“Maybe they're just cold?” he countered, with a pout. You rolled your eyes and shook your head with a smile.

“Goodnight, Whiskey. This was really nice,” you said instead, and you meant it. This had been a really great evening and you were glad that he had invited you over, even if the doctor part of your brain wished that he hadn't made such a fuzz and instead had opted for something simpler that required less energy from him. Whiskey smiled softly at you.

“It was, wasn't it...” He trailed off, looking like he wanted to say something more.

“What?” you prompted him and he looked up and met your gaze. His impossibly soft brown eyes held your eyes for a moment before he looked down with an almost shy smile.

“Oh darlin', I'm just debating whether or not to push my luck this evening,” he said but you were still confused. This wasn't quite following the usual script for saying goodnight.

“Moonshine,” Whiskey said, his voice unusually serious as he leaned forward slightly on his crutches, his fingers tapping a nervous rhythm against the plastic of the handles, “Tonight has been magical and I'm fully aware I should pull in my horns before I get greedy... but Honey...Darlin...you know I'm sweet on ya and... a better man than me would wish you sweet dreams and walk away. But I'm not that better man and I can't help but hope for just a little more...”

“Oh?” you said, blinking. You know I'm sweet on ya... You know I'm sweet on ya... You knew Whiskey was fond of you, that he cared for you. He'd shown that in a hundred different ways. But that kind of fondness wasn't what he was confessing to now, if his whole body language and the hestitation behind every word was anything to go by. No, this was something else, something more, and he thought you already knew. You felt a little lightheaded.

“A little more of what?” you asked, just to be sure, and Whiskey let out a breath you hadn't noticed he'd been holding. A hopeful smile began spreading across his lips.

“Well, with lips like those, maybe a kiss would be a good place to start?” he suggested and your stomach did a flip.

“I've never kissed anyone before,” you said and it came out sounding almost a bit hostile, like you were daring Whiskey to make the wrong comment in response. You'd seen other people's reactions when you'd previously mentioned your lack of experience and while you weren't entirely sure exactly what response you did want from him, you knew that pity wasn't it.

Whiskey looked surprised for a moment but then he quickly recovered.

“I'd be thrilled as any man can be to be your first, if you'd let me,” he said.

You nodded and stepped forward, figuring that since he was the injured one, he should get to remain stationary for this. Besides, you knew... in theory, how this was done. Whiskey made a surprised laugh when you gripped the front of his shirt with both hands to pull him in those last couple of inches. The laugh was cut short when your mouth pressed against his.

His lips were soft as velvet and the mustache tickled your upper lip. There was a deafening clatter in the empty corridor as one of Whiskey's crutches fell to the floor. A second later, his hand curved around the back of your neck and his lips began moving against yours. An unfamiliar heat pooled low in your belly and you gripped Whiskey's shirt a little tighter to steady yourself.

When you both finally pulled back, an eternity and at the same time not long enough later, Whiskey looked at you as if you'd hung the Moon.

“How was that?” he asked and, despite the cocksure smile on his face, there was a faint note of genuine worry to his tone of voice.

“I would like to do that again sometime,” you told him. Whiskey beamed and the smile was bright enough that it could probably have lit up all of Kentucky. He leaned in for another, and to your disappointment, much quicker kiss.

“I'd be happy to help with that,” he said when he pulled back. Your cheeks felt warm and somehow you knew that if you didn't go inside your room now, you'd ask Whiskey to come with you and he was not well enough for that.

So you blurted out a quick goodnight and before Whiskey could get a reply in, you hurried into your room and closed the door. With your ear pressed against the metal, you thought you could hear a faint chuckle before Whiskey left.

You reached up to touch your lips. You just kissed Whiskey.

#digging up bones #whiskeyxreader #whiskey/reader #whiskey fanfiction #jack daniels/reader #jack daniels x reader #jack daniels fanfiction #kingsman golden circle fanfiction #my fanfiction

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spideyrights · 6 years ago

Text

Partners (Series) - Detective Loki x Reader

X. LOVER

series masterlist

When you finally arrived at Keller’s Dad’s house having gotten the call that Loki had found Alex Jones there, you rushed to the location immediately. When you made your way up to where the majority of the officers had gathered, you could see Loki leant on the doorframe adjacent to the bathroom Jones had been kept in, a solemn yet determined look in his face. You approach him quickly, a note of concern on your face. “Hey, you okay?”

“Yeah, found Jones.”

“I heard. Nice work.” There was a kind of dull silence that followed that after the tone set by your last conversation. You rocked on your heels, hands shoved into your coat pockets whilst Loki’s gaze was fixed on the ground, neither of you daring to make a noise. You never thought you'd be glad to see O’Malley but when he made his way over to the pair of you a twinge of relief shot through you both as he relieved you from the awkward situation.

“I need you to go over to Holly Jones’. She needs to be notified.” “No I need to find Dover,” Loki interrupted, standing up straighter and raising his voice just slightly above that of O’Malley’s.

“Come on. You’re done with Dover.”

“You want me to go to Holly Jones’?”

“I want you to go to Holly Jones’ and notify her, please.” O’Malley walked away, leaving the two of you to exchange mildly annoyed glances at one another, typical of you to do so after the Captain had finished speaking, and it made you feel a little less cramped by the awkward tension.

“You coming?”

“Can’t. Just got a call from Eliza Birch on the way here, asked me to come back to the hospital,” you say, raising your phone in your hand. “Says she told her sister all about me and they both want to speak to me. Or do some colouring in with me but what’s the difference?” You chuckle lightly, almost coyly, at the idea and Loki’s lips upturn upon hearing your words. There’s a kind of soft adoration on his face. He likes how well you communicate with others, it’s a skill he’s never had. It makes him think that maybe you two are the perfect pairing, that he's glad you were made partners after all. He just doesn’t know how to say that.

“Lucky girls, getting to spend time with you,” Loki mumbles fondly and his honesty takes you aback. You’d never heard Loki say something so frank let alone when it came to you. You of course knew why he’d say such a thing.

“Listen, about earlier-”

“We can...talk about it later,” you said, cutting him off. This didn’t seem the right time to have that kind of conversation. “Once this whole case is over, even. Just go to Holly Jones’ and we’ll see where we’re at tomorrow morning.”

He hesitates on your words, nodding slowly before transitioning into a more firm nod of acceptance. He blinks hard, his eyes twitching. “Yeah, okay.”

“Well, be careful, don’t do anything stupid.” “When do I ever?”

It had been slow in the hospital. The Birch parents had gone to sleep just outside of Joy’s room, Eliza remained in the room with her sister and Joy was, surprisingly, the most energetic of any remaining member of the hospital including you. Your head was leant against the cool plastic of the hospital bed rails as you watched Eliza colour in the book you had brought her with a content smile on her face as her sister helped. You swore you could feel your eyes begin to shut before you were alerted by a loud though muffled sound from a distance away. You watched as one of the nurses just outside the room looked down the corridor to the source of the noise before her eyes grew wide and she raced towards it. You, now alert, followed suit.

“Take her, quick!” You can hear the familiar male voice from a distance away and as the thought creeps into your mind for just a moment that it may be Loki you immediately break out into a sprint. Rounding the corner you hear more clearly that the words of the male voice have changed. “Get (Y/N). (Y/N)”

Your pace quickens as you catch sight of Loki, blood dripping from his head, on the floor with one nurse by his side trying to understand what he’s saying. “David,” you call out, only noting your breaking voice and tone of desperation as the words pass through your lips.

“(Y/N),” he says, relief overwhelming his tone. You finally reach him, moving the nurse out of the way and telling her to go find a doctor which she does immediately. You crouch to the ground where Loki is now, unable to stand upright, pulling his body up so his bleeding head rests in your lap. You press your hand to where the blood seems to be coming from and he lets out an agonising, deeply pained groan which makes you wince. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” you say gently to him before glancing around the hospital to see if anyone is coming which, much to your dismay, no one was around. “Help. Please help.” You scream, noticing your words punctuated by spit from the force of your voice. You try not to panic but your chest is heaving and your vision blurring. You return your gaze to Loki who's eyes are shutting for a couple of seconds at a time before they snap open.

“Hey, David, stay with me. Someone’s coming.” Surely enough the nurse runs by with a doctor just as you speak. They instruct you to move out of the way though you feel yourself unable to do so, heart aching at the thought of leaving him now. After another firm instruction from the doctor to move, you do so, standing back and watching as they lift him, using both of their shoulders to support his arms as they take him to a nearby empty surgery room.

The door shut, leaving you the only one in the hospital halls to deal with the aftermath of that panic. You raise your hands to wipe your disheveled hair out of the way but you stop, noting the blood on both hands. You quickly rush into a nearby bathroom where you take note of your appearance. You look positively terrible. You don’t notice but there are tears on your face, when they fell you don’t know, but they’ve dried on your previously luminously glowing skin, creating a sort of sullen dullness. Your hair is wildly sticking out every which was and there’s little smudges of blood on your clothing, your face and your shoes. You clean yourself up.

You internally reprimand yourself. You knew Loki would be fine, he had to be fine. What would you do without him after all? Go back home and never work as a detective ever again probably. But no, he’d be fine, he’s always fine.

You were apprehensive to approach Loki’s room. Something about it made your tummy stir. Like an uncomfortable heat was moving in your stomach, flipping its internal contents every which way. You watched as Anna and Joy left his room, smiling softly at the girls as they passed by you where you were waiting a safe distance away from his room by the receptionist’s desk. Mrs Dover lingered there a moment longer, continuing the conversation with him. You assumed she was talking about Keller and admittedly you pitied her deeply. You didn’t want her to have to lose the man she loved. You only experienced a hint of that the night before, you’d hate to think what it would actually be like to lose Loki. Not that I love-

“Go speak to him,” the receptionist said having been watching you nervously bounce your feet whilst leaning on the top of the counter and tapping at the cardboard of the box of food your brought, watching his room from afar. “The first thing he asked when he woke up a little while ago is where you were.”

She left at that comment, sending you accusative eyes as if to say ‘just do it’ and you scoff with a chuckle and a shake of your head before gingerly approaching the room. Once close enough you notice his gazed is fixed on the floor and so you knock on the doorman despite the already open door. “Hey, you’re up.”

“Yeah, I am. You just come to visit?” You inhale at his question, crossing your arms over your chest and looking to the ground.

“Yeah, um, I figured I might as well come say hi and, um, bring you this.” You hand over the box of food awkwardly and he sets it beside him. You continue to avoid eye contact but when you finally look at Loki after a few moments of silence he’s...smiling? Smiling strangely widely, more like a smirk of sorts that overwhelms his features as he stares you down.

“Huh, that's crazy. Because first thing the nurses said to me when I woke up is it’s a shame my girlfriend wasn't here to see me wake up considering she slept here the whole night waiting for me.”

Your mouth falls agape though quickly recovers as it transforms into a smile against your will. Your eyes remain fixed on your black boots as you kick them against each other in a bashful attempt to throw off suspicion. “Yeah, strange. You sure they didn’t mean Joy or Anna? Those girls love you.”

“They the only ones who love me?”

“Okay, busted, I was here the whole night,” you smile, throwing your hands up to indicate surrender “I left to shower, change and pick you up something to eat. I figured you weren’t a hospital food kind of guy.” His smile continues to grow in tenderness and whilst you concede to his remarks you step slightly closer, playfully reaching your foot out and kicking his gently. “You’re a quick learner.”

“Well I’ve also learnt never to put off a conversation with you or else you might get shot in the head just to avoid it.” He nods with an almost content sigh.

“Speaking of, I believe you owe me a conversation.”

“Detective, we need to check your dressing. I hope I’m not interrupting anything.” You both turn to notice one of the nurses lingering by the doorway, bandages in hand before you turn to each other exchanging somewhat amused smiles.

“Don’t worry we’re used to interruptions by now,” Loki jokes, sending a knowing glance your way which only makes you smile more.

“I’ll see you in a bit.” With that you turn on your heel, ready to make your way out of the room but Loki’s voice stops you. “(Y/N)?”

“Yeah.” You turn as you speak and you’re mildly taken aback when you’re finally facing him completely. One of his arms is outstretched and for a moment you don’t know what it means before it clicks. A hug. Loki is completely, entirely willingly offering you a hug off his own accord. You bite down on the inside of your cheeks trying to control your smile as you step into his embrace. From where he sits and you stand you’re both at head level. His arms come around your waist, reaching upwards and resting on your back as your arms hook around his neck, placed comfortably on his broad shoulders. He nuzzles his head into your neck and you linger in the warmth of it all, shutting your eyes and squeezing tighter before you both pull apart. His cheeks are flushed and there’s a boyish charm to the way his eyes look briefly to yours before falling to the ground. You wave goodbye, trying to contain your smile as you leave the room, walking down the corridor until you can’t control your giddiness anymore, clapping your hands together and squealing as you walk, startling the waiting patients around you.

Hearing that Loki was already back at work later that day was no surprise to you. The man seemed to never cease working. When he hadn’t been to the office the whole day you enquired as to his whereabouts with O’Malley who reluctantly encouraged you to go join him.

“Need some company?” Loki’s head snaps towards you upon hearing your voice. At first his body tenses and his eyes are wide and alert but upon recognising you his eyes and expression soften, his lips turning up when he notes the two coffee cups in your hands “Though of course, I have heard you’re the ‘lone wolf type’.”

He chuckles softly with a light exhale, gratefully taking the warm bitter beverage from you. “I don’t know about that, partner,”

You give him surprised eyes, tilting your head with a pleased smile in response to his use of the word partner. You both let the eye contact linger on for a moment before diverting your gaze. The forensics team had left as you came in but it seemed Loki wasn’t done for the night just yet. You both allowed a pregnant pause and you were about to speak when you heard something. Both you and Loki caught the noise at the same time. A whistle.

Finding Dover certainly lightened the mood for you, Loki and the whole precinct just in time for your Christmas vacation. You couldn’t have been happier when you reunited the family a week before the holiday, especially when you saw the joy on Keller’s face to see his daughter again and the relief on Anna’s face to be back home. In the aftermath of the case however you did have a lot of paperwork that had to be completed. So here you sat, nose buried in a case file.

“Hey, listen, do you have Christmas plans?” Your head snapped up at the noise to meet the sight of Loki hovering above your cubicle. His finger tapped rapidly on the plastic top of it as his gaze searched the room with a harsh twitch interrupting every few seconds.

“Sadly, no, can't afford to head home for a week,” you sigh, punctuating your sentence with the pout of your lips. “Probably just calling my family and watching Christmas movies by myself at this rate. You?”

He inhaled sharply, rounding the cubicle and joining you, sitting atop your desk as you pushed your chair out to move closer to him. “Well that’s what I was going to mention. I don’t have plans either so I was thinking...would you- just a thought-I don’t know if you’re- what I’m trying to say is-”

“Detective Loki, are you asking me on a date?”

His eyes finally rose from the ground meeting your face to note a teasing smile spread across your expression. It makes his cheeks flush more than they had before, imbuing a deep crimson across his face. “W-well, not a date per se unless you want it to be a date but if you don’t want it to be a date that's fine but it’s also fine if you do-”

“Breathe,” you instructed softly with a chuckle, taking his hands in yours which he gratefully accepted, intertwining your fingers further. “I’m just trying to say that we might as well spend Christmas together rather than alone.”

“Alone together. Sounds perfect. What are we doing? I can’t exactly cook a Christmas dinner and I don’t know if anything will be open Christmas Day.”

Loki thought intently for a moment before a knowing smile spread across his face. “I actually might know a place.”

“Merry Christmas, Detective!...And Detective’s girlfriend?” The Chinese restaurant was certifiably empty. The tables all looked crystal clean and there was no sign of a chair even moved out of place. Clearly, unlike the two of you, no one had been here on Christmas Day. The waitresses eager smile grew at the hope she might be right.

“No we’re not-”

“Thank you! Merry Christmas to you too!” Loki turned to you, wide-eyed at your acceptance of her statement but you simply shrugged with a small smile as if to say ‘just have some fun with it’ to which he seemed to put on a facade of reluctant agreement when he was more flustered than anything.

“I have to say I never thought I’d see the day Detective Loki brought a girl in here. He’s always in here alone,” the waitress giggled excitedly, pouring you a green tea whilst Loki sipped on his coffee.

“Okay, easy,” he commented, clearly embarrassed but passing it off as mild irritation in classic Loki fashion.

“It took a lot of convincing but he warmed up to me. Right, sweetheart?” You kicked his shin under the table. “Right.”

When the waitress had finally left the two of you in semi-peace - you couldn’t call it peace entirely considering all members of staff working and people that didn’t even look liked they worked there were all staring at you through the clear screen of the kitchen, murmuring excitedly - Loki gave you a look of disapproval.

“What?! I’m just having some fun,” you reasoned with a playful smile which of course Loki found to be as contagious as usual, forcing him to bite down on his bottom lip to contain his smile.

“So pretending to be my girlfriend is fun?”

“Well not right now, you’re a terrible pretend boyfriend,” you joke, sipping on your green tea and he laughs, sitting back in his chair with a head-shake of disbelief. “Oh really, what am I doing wrong?”

“I mean if you were a good pretend boyfriend you would probably know I’d rather you sit next to me than across from me,” you spoke, an intonation of nervousness crossing your words that only you could detect. You didn’t expect Loki to comply so it was certainly a surprise when he stood from his chair with no hesitation, moving across the table to sit next to you at the four person table. He shifted so his body was facing yours as he slung his arm around the back of your chair making you tense slightly. Something he too noticed causing a smirk to grace his face.

“Anything else, pretend girlfriend?”

“Ummmmm,” You looked around the around the restaurant trying to find something you could make him do, mainly to satisfy your own fantasy but you hoped he wouldn’t realise that. “Well, pretend boyfriend, I’m rather cold in here actually.”

Loki nodded, immediately reaching over to grab his coat. “I think I got this one.” He took the coat in his hands, moving it in your direction and you expected him to hand it to you but he purposefully diverted the coat from your outstretched hand, putting it over your shoulders himself, pulling it over your chest until it covered you as best as it could. You could feel the heat rising to your face and you began to knead your fingers into each other, a nervous tendency you couldn’t shake. When his arm returned to the back of your chair this time you found yourself easing into the comfort of it.

“Anything else?”

“Nothing I can think of.”

You both allowed a moment of silence. Just looking at each other. Loki’s eyes were the bluest you’d ever seen them. Perhaps lighter from the relief of the case being solved, perhaps from the joy of Christmas or, as you’d hoped, perhaps from the happiness that came with spending time with you.

“I can think of something,” Loki spoke, his voice gentle and quiet. You nodded, raised eyebrows, wordlessly asking for him to respond and it brought a soft smile to his face. It was unlike any smile of his you’d seen before. This one softened his whole face, all of his features, with a touch of adoration or awe as he looked at you.

His hand moved from gripping the back of your chair onto your back in a touch so gentle you almost questioning whether it was really there. His hand was slowly rising up your back whilst pulling you in towards him. It finally came to a stop in your hair where his fingers were interlaced whilst his thumb came out to brush against your cheek. He leaned in ever so gently and you followed suit. Both of you were hesitant, that much was obvious. His lips were now all your eyes could focus on, a mere few inches away. The distance or lack thereof was intoxicating for you both. You couldn’t help but lean in, meeting his soft lips with yours. You both moved in synchronisation, latching onto each others lips and moving against each other passionately. His grip on your hair tightened making you let out a sharp breath, allowing his tongue to slip into your mouth. Your hand immediately reached out for his arm, clutching it to steady yourself whilst your other hand reached up to his face, pulling him closer into you. The both of you finally broke apart, evidently reluctant, to catch your breathe.

“I’ve been waiting to do that,” Loki rasped, placing another quick peck to your lips which made you smile shyly. “I hope it was worth the wait.”

“You don’t even know.” You both giggled at the statement, clearly on a kind of euphoric high after the kiss. He wrapped his arm around your shoulders, pulling you into him and you moved into his embrace. It was only then that you noticed your keen audience seemed to have witness the whole thing and the entirety of the kitchen staff and waiters and waitresses were giddy with smiles and shooting you both thumbs up’s. You nuzzled your head into the crook of Loki’s neck, embarrassed, which only make Loki’s fond laughter grow louder.

The two of you wished everyone a Merry Christmas, leaving the restaurant hand-in-hand. There was a strangely comfortable silence as you both couldn’t wipe the smiles off of your face. You tried to pull your hand apart from Loki’s so you could cross over to the passenger side of his car but he stopped you, gripping your hand tighter and pulling you into him. He moved you both so you leant against the car, trapped in place by his warm body which was pressed against yours. “What?”

He looked down at your intertwined hands with a smile before sighing contentedly. “What do we do now?”

You knew exactly what he meant. You were work colleagues after all. There was no firm line against dating your partner, not explicitly anyway but it was certainly implied and certainly frowned upon. But you both knew you couldn’t deny what was so obvious between you two, not to mention this might just be the happiest you’ve ever seem Loki.

“I don’t know,” you said honestly. “Is that a problem?”

“Nothing about this is a problem,” Loki half-chuckled, a doting sincerity in his tone. He leaned down, pressing another kiss to your lips, this one much softer, almost a touch of peace being echoed in how calmly and gently your lips moved against each other. You both pulled apart when your phones buzzed simultaneously.

“On Christmas Day?” Loki groaned, clearly annoyed to have been interrupted again. Of course the alert would have been sent to you both, the only people to ever promise to be available to work on Christmas Day. You both scanned through the message, meeting eyes when you’d read it all.

“You ready to go, partner?”

“As I’ll ever be, partner.”

THE END

tags: @mother-dearest-loves-me @mariamermaid@vigilanteavengerqueen @superheroforrent @peterbxrnes @igotanaddixon @blablasomethingblabla @cafeaufeels @montypythonsholysnail @carolines24 @chimera4plums @emma-frxst @oswald-1998 @iv-nyc @twowaymirrorx @skarlettmikaelson @deviantly-gayy @frnchpy @meliamarshall @

#detective loki #detective loki x reader #detective loki fic #jake gyllenhaal #jake gyllenhaal x reader #jake gyllenhaal x you #jake gyllenhaal imagine #jake gyllenhaal one shot #david loki #david loki x reader #david loki fic

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ripley95 · 5 years ago

Text

Duck

Rating: G

Pairing: F!Shepard/Garrus Vakarian

Summary: Shepard has been stuck in the hospital, recovering from her injuries from the war, wanting nothing more than to get out. She's finally granted an excursion with Garrus, and couldn't be happier.

Word Count: 1190

Read it on AO3

______________

The war was won, the reapers were gone, and Shepard was in the hospital recovering for what had felt like something that was entirely longer than necessary. The fact that she was still in the middle of learning how to walk again hadn’t changed her mind on the matter.

Being stuck in a bed and confined to a stuffy hospital room had been frustrating to say the least. She was beginning to understand the meaning of ‘stir crazy’. It was just one more thing to add to the growing list of unwanted things that this war had given her. It was a wonder that being stuck in what was really nothing more than a glorified tin can had never managed to elicit the same reaction, and with nothing but the cold vacuum of space on the other side to boot.

Her whole time in recovery had been a constant struggle of reminding herself that these things took time, and to be grateful for still being alive. That despite her restlessness and annoyances, this was ultimately a gift.

Her recovery had not been a short one to say the least, but things were finally starting to get better. After months of surgeries, and rigorous physical therapy, she was starting to be able to walk by herself with the help of crutches.

The doctors had granted her permission to go on an excursion as long as she had a chaperone in case anything should go wrong, and she couldn’t remember the last time she had been this happy. Just the thought of being able to be out in the fresh air felt like it would do her so much good, and give her more will to be confined in her stuffy room again, knowing that she at least had the ability to have freedom now.

The fact that Garrus would be the one to take her on her first outing was just that much more special. They had spent months apart as he and the Normandy desperately tried to make their way back to Earth. He had been back for a short amount of time, helping her with her therapy, but the fact that he would also be the first one to share such a special moment with her meant everything.

She was glad that she was getting this opportunity to show him something of her home planet. It was something they had discussed often during the war. Their hopes for an after, and being able to finally share their experiences and things that were meaningful to each other beyond war and military. To just be normal for a change.

Admittedly, she hadn’t even spent much of her own time here, save for her N7 training and being incarcerated, but she still felt a special connection to it. In one way or another, it was her birthplace. It’s part of what she fought so hard to save. It was her heritage, and now here she was, able to show this all to the person she loved.

She felt a bit conflicted about being in Vancouver for this particular moment though. It was beautiful, and showed a lot of what Earth had to offer, but it’s also where she was when the Reapers hit. It was a reminder of all of the destruction, and still in ruins, but there was greenery beneath the rubble and snow capped mountains in the distance. It was an image of the state of things, and how life would persevere thanks to everyone’s efforts. She was glad that she got the chance to see it.

She took in a deep breath as she walked out the hospital doors and took a slow pace down the road, Garrus gladly accommodating her recovering stride to walk beside her. The mess of everything was being cleared away slowly but surely, granting them a clean sidewalk to get them to their destination. They found themselves ending up at the waterfront after not too long of a trek all things considered.

It was everything that she could have asked for. There were trees that were still in tact where the grass met the sand. There were people enjoying the scenery, and laughs off in the distance. In the midst of all of this destruction, there was life. It was rejuvenating, and exactly what she needed. It was everything that she had ever imagined showing Garrus, with the exception of the dystopian city lying in shambles right behind them. But she would take what she could get on that front.

Shepard was staring out at the water in awe, and Garrus couldn’t get enough of her. He couldn’t remember a time seeing her like this. The top of the presidium came close, but there was something about her now that looked like she had finally felt free. He wanted to stay like this forever.

It didn’t though. Her reaction changed rather abruptly, and it was enough to startle him.

“Duck!” she yelled.

Garrus grabbed her, with quicker reflexes than he knew he was capable of, and brought them down to duck behind the nearest rock, completely in a panic.

“What? What is it? Was there a piece of a reaper out there or something?!”

Shepard just lied there in the sand, looking at him with a big grin on her face before bursting out into laughter.

“What?!” he said, peeking his head up above the rock, to try to get any idea at what she was looking at.

“Jeez, Garrus. For saying turians didn’t know how to do such a thing, you sure managed to do that quickly.”

He just stared at her blankly, still not having a clue what was going on.

“Here, help me up,” she said, already trying to stand up herself, but still not being fully capable.

Garrus took one more look over the rock to make sure it was okay before finally helping her. He quickly grabbed her crutches that had dropped in his haste to get her to safety, and handed them to her.

She stood and adjusted herself properly, making sure to get her footing before looking back out to the water.

“I meant, it’s a duck,” she said, pointing to the water.

Garrus could see that there was an odd fluffy thing floating on the water. There were even smaller ones floating behind it too.

“What the hell is that?”

“It’s a bird,” she said, looking at it in wonder. “I know I haven’t had much more than the view outside my window, but I haven’t seen any wildlife yet before this. There’s just too much destruction. Not enough vegetation. But there it is,” she said, pointing to the family of ducks swimming together on the edge of the ocean. “Life goes on.”

Garrus looked at her then, seeing the absolute look of awe she had with the view. He agreed with the sentiment. Life did go on, and it was all because of her. He would never dare tell her that to her face, ever the embodiment of humility.

“Yes it does,” he agreed with a lighthearted chuckle, as he nodded. “Yes, it does.”

#Shakarian #f!Shepard #Garrus Vakarian #mass effect #fanfiction #my writing #old writing #but I never shared it here #so I figured why not?#my fic on tumblr

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uswntpoet · 6 years ago

Text

Love on the brain (Part 21)

Hey guys, this time I'm faster! :) I hope you're still alive after the last chapter. Enjoy the next part!

The chapter is also up on Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17576201/chapters/51380701

First Allie watched Alex nearly going insane while waiting for Kelley to come out of the ER and now she watches her pace back and forth in front of Kelley’s bed like a tiger ever since she was brought back from the ER. It’s 9 o’clock in the morning now. 5 hours since Kelley collapsed in the hotel room and Alex can’t seem to catch a break even though Allie reassured her that Kelley is in good hands for the past hours and the doctor told them that Kelley already was conscious once in the ER.

“Two times in the span of a few weeks, Allie!! What am I supposed to do with her?!”

“I’ve always said she is insane, but nobody listens to me.” Allie jokes.

“Ugh and you know what’s the worst part about this?”

“That you aren’t even really mad at her?”

“Exactly.” Alex sighs.

“Please Al, do us all a favor and go grab something to eat.”

“I can’t do Kelley any favors since she is unconscious in a hospital bed AGAIN!”

“I think she would disagree. Can you at least do me a favor then?”

“Why?”

“Well, first of all you’re always in a bad mood when you’re hungry anyway, but most of all you’ve always been a disaster when it comes to worrying about this idiot and I can’t take it anymore.”

Alex looks at Allie and then at a sleeping Kelley skeptically.

“Don’t look at me like that. Don’t worry, I’ll keep an eye on her.”

“I’m not sure.” Alex grumbles.

“Good, then I’ll keep both of my eyes on her. Now go.”

“You call me when she wakes up?”

“Yes, I will. Now stop worrying for at least 30 minutes alright?”

“I’ll be back in 20.”

“20 it is.”

“And check if she’s breathing norm-“

“ALEX! I can handle it, okay? I promise.”

“Fine.”

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Kelley stirs awake about 15 minutes later. Allie gets up quickly, eyeing her closely. Kelley slowly opens her eyes, but she seems to struggle to keep them fully open.

“Holy fuck.” she mumbles.

“Welcome back to earth.” Allie smiles.

Kelley squeezes her eyes shut repeatedly, trying to focus on the person in front of her. A few seconds later she seems to realize that it’s Allie.

“Duuude.” Kelley chuckles lazily, sounding like a high surfer dude.

“How are you feeling?” Allie asks concerned.

“Fucking awesome.” Kelley smiles dopily.

“Oh wow, I don’t ever want to see you take drugs.” Allie rolls her eyes.

“Yo, Allie?” Kelley asks with her eyes closed again.

“Yes?”

“Don’t you think my girlfriend looks hella good?”

“Kel, Alex isn’t here.”

“Don’t you dare to say she doesn’t.” Kelley is quick to warn, her eyes flying open for a second, before falling shut in slow motion again.

“She does, Kel.” Allie exhales annoyed.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” Kelley remarks with a hint of an aggressive tone.

“My girlfriend is hella sexy.” Kelley brags with a smile on her face.

“Kel?”

“Mhm?” Kelley asks, looking up at Allie with a dazed look in her eyes.

“Alex is your fiancée. You proposed to her, remember?”

“DUDE!” Kelley yells all of the sudden, which startles Allie, “Siiiiiiick.” Kelley smirks proudly.

“Oh man.” Allie exhales and slaps her hand against her forehead.

To Allie’s relieve the door opens and Alex walks in.

“Holy fuck!” Kelley yells, freezing and quickly covering her eyes.

Alex looks at Allie shocked, who shrugs, “Don’t worry, she just woke up.”

“What is she doing?” Alex asks wide eyed.

“She is high on pain killers and by high I mean they apparently shot her in another solar system.” Allie chuckles amused.

“Hey Kel, what’s up?” Allie asks her, trying to get her attention.

Kelley drops her hands from her face, looking at Alex with wide eyes before quickly turning to Allie.

“Duude, I swear, I’m such a bad fiancée!”

“What are you talking about?”

“If Alex knows she’ll kill me man.”

Allie looks to Alex in panic, while Alex is furrowing her brows in concern.

“Eh, Kel-“

“Don’t tell her, but that nurse looks fucking hot.” Kelley says, pointing at Alex. Allie lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding and Alex’s face relaxes visibly, but her brows quickly furrow again.

“Oh boy, this is too good to be true.” Allie laughs.

“Stop laughing, this isn’t funny.” Alex scolds as she approaches Kelley’s bed to sit down next to her.

“Hey babe, it’s me, Alex.” Alex tries carefully, gently stroking her cheek.

“I know. I was just fucking around.” Kelley slurs, grinning at Alex foolishly.

Alex slaps her arm and rolls her eyes.

“Oh my god, you’re such an asshole. I thought you didn’t recognize me.”

“Baby girl, I would recognize those eyes from anywhere.”

“Drugged up and still a charmer. Why am I surprised?”

“I’ll inform a nurse”. Allie says.

“Thanks, Al.” Alex squeezes her hand.

A few minutes later the door flies open and the gray haired, good looking doctor in his 50’s, Alex already talked to earlier, walks in with two nurses in tow.

“Welcome back Miss O’Hara, I’m Dr. Bright.”

“Sup, Doc.” Kelley nods at him and Alex sends her a warning look, which Kelley clearly doesn’t seem to notice.

The doctor starts explaining to Kelley that an inflammation in her ankle caused her high fever, which ultimately lead to her unconsciousness and that taking too many pain killers caused the other symptoms, however Alex is sure that Kelley doesn’t have one clue what the man is talking about. After Dr. Bright and the nurses did some checkups on Kelley, he turns to Alex again.

“So Miss Morgan, your fiancée is-“

“Dr. B.? Isn’t my FIANCEE-“ Kelley stops and winks at Allie, who just shakes her head.

“-the most gorgeous woman you have ever seen?”

“Babe.” Alex warns sternly.

“Doc, listen. I know it sounds impossible, but I swear on my life, her smartness outshines her prettiness. Crazy right?”

“Kel, shut up.”

“Come over here and make me.”

“Kelley!” Alex warns her sharply.

Kelley looks at Alex for a second, seemingly considering what to do next, but when she sees Alex staring her down, she quietly mumbles to herself like a child who's been scolded.

“I’m terribly sorry for that.” Alex apologizes to the doctor, who just laughs and waves it off.

“That’s alright. She is going to be like that for a few hours, however you can take her home. When the meds wear off, she might be a little disorientated and very tired, but there’s no reason to worry. Is it possible that someone checks on her like every hour?”

“Yeah, I’ll do that. What about the Advil?”

“Yeah, she certainly took so many, because the dosage wasn’t strong enough and she was in enormous pain. She might be in pain the next few days as well, but I’m prescribing pain killers that are certainly strong enough, so there isn’t going to be another incident like this. Again, they might make her a bit loopy, however if she’s looked after she should be fine.”

“When is she going to be able to train again?” Alex asks tensely, knowing that even though Kelley is not giving a damn about it right now, it is going to be the first question when she is off meds again.

“The good news is that the medications are anti-inflammatory, so the inflammation is going to be gone within a few days. However, the injury is going to last a bit longer, if she’s lucky and has a good recovery process maybe 8 to 10 weeks, if not she’s going to need surgery. She could be out for about 6 months then, we’ll have to see.”

Alex exhales loudly, rubbing her hands through her face, feeling her heart break for Kelley. She knows this is going to be a hard blow after just recovering from her last injury.

“Oh my god.” she shakes her head devastated and Allie puts a supporting hand on her shoulder.

“Miss Morgan, to be frank, in your case I wouldn’t worry too much. You’re working with the best doctors and physiotherapist in the country. It’s going to be crutches in the first weeks to strain her ankle as little as possible and I think she is going to be fine, but as a doctor it is my duty to inform you about the possibilities.”

“Yeah, I understand that.” Alex nods.

“If she is burning up again or there are any signs of side effects please call an ambulance.”

“Of course, thank you so much for everything.” Alex says honestly with a smile which doesn’t reach her eyes.

“That’s what I’m here for. We’ll stay in touch and she has an appointment in a few days.”

Alex smiles at him and turns around to help Allie and the nurse to get Kelley ready to leave.

“And Miss Morgan?”

“Alex is fine.”

“Alex. I have drugged up patients everyday ever since I became a doctor. You can imagine that I’ve seen everything from breakups because of terrible confessions, over crying, to aggressive behavior. But what I rarely see is someone talking about their fiancée in the way yours did when she first woke up.”

“Oh my god. I’m so sorry, what did she say?”

“You have no reason to worry. Take good care of her, you got a good one there. She’s a keeper.” Dr. Bright winks with an honest smile.

“Oh.” Alex blushes, looking at him speechlessly.

“Have a good day, Alex.”

“Bye.” Alex mumbles.

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“Babe?”

“Yeah?”

“I feel so goooooood right now.”

“That’s good, Kel.”

“I can’t feel anything.” Kelley gushes loudly.

“I can see that.” Alex mumbles embarrassed, since Kelley isn’t behaving like one should in a hospital.

Kelley is sitting in a wheelchair, so they can bring her to the car. Alex stops in front of the door to turn around to look at Kelley sternly, before leaving the hospital room.

“Alright, Kel. We are going to leaves this room now and I need you to be quiet for two minutes okay? Just until we’re at the car.”

“Like on what level quiet?”

“Like 'shutting your mouth tightly and not opening it' quiet.”

“Okay, captain.” Kelley winks, saluting Alex.

Alex looks at her unsure, but Allie opens the door nonetheless. To Alex’s surprise, Kelley stays quiet in the hallway and in the elevator. However, when they walk through the entrance area, Kelley is back to her bad behavior.

“Excuse me, Mr.? Have you ever seen such a pretty woman?” Kelley asks a random stranger, pointing at Alex when they pass him.

“Kelley, shhhh! Leave the people alone!” Alex whisper yells.

“I’m doing what I want, woman.” Kelley sasses loudly and Allie has to suppress her loud giggles.

“Kel, could you just shut up for another minute, please.” Alex begs to which Kelley complies.

When they are finally outside, Alex starts searching for her car keys.

“Maaan, it’s so fucking hot in here. I’m dying.”

“We’re outside. You’ll be alright.” Alex mumbles, looking up to answer.

“What are you doing?! Put your shirt back on!!” Alex yells at her.

“But I’m so hot.” Kelley pouts.

“NOW!” Alex orders while Allie can’t breathe from laughing so much.

“Are you jealous babe?” Kelley asks sadly.

“Yeah, very jealous.” Alex groans impatiently.

“Okay.” Kelley says, putting her shirt back on quickly as if she first needed a reason to do so.

Alex looks at Allie annoyed who is wiping her tears.

"I’m going to marry a 2-year-old.” Alex groans.

When they finally managed to get Kelley to sit in the back of the car, they make their way back to the hotel.

“Babe? Do you still think I’m attractive?”

“Unfortunately, yes.” Alex sighs.

“But what if someday you are going to leave me?”

“I will not.” Alex answers annoyed, looking in the rear-view mirror to make eye contact.

“Allie! What am I gonna do if she’s leaving me?” Kelley asks panicked.

“She is not, Kel.” Allie reassures her.

“Babe? If I died, how much would you miss me?”

“Death can’t get you out of this relationship.” Alex deadpans, but drugged up Kelley is completely clueless to any sarcasm since her attention span is like one of a puppy.

“Would you love someone else?”

“No.”

“Good, because whoever is looking at you, I’m going to fuck up.”

“When you’re dead, Kel?” Allie laughs.

“I’ll personally climb out of my grave to royally kick their ass.”

“Kel, enough.” Alex warns.

There is silence for just a moment.

“Babe? Have you ever had sex with someone who was drugged up?”

“No, Kelley I haven’t.” Alex snaps.

“Wanna give it a try?” Kelley raises an eyebrow suggestively.

“Holy shit!” Allie laughs.

“Kelley!! I said that’s enough. I don’t want to hear another word until we’re back at the hotel, understood?” Alex turns around frustratedly when she stops at the traffic light. Kelley nods her head, pretending to lock her mouth and throwing the key away.

“Good.”

Allie looks at Alex with a pitying look.

“It’s official. My two biggest fears in life are failure and Kelley on any kind of drug, including too much sugar.”

The silence lasts exactly three minutes, before Kelley’s voice can be heard again.

“Babe?”

Alex breathes out heavily and decides to ignore her.

“Babe?”

“Alex?”

“Alexandraaaa!!”

“What Kelley????? What could possibly be so important that you are talking again?” Alex asks, turning around furiously.

“I love you.” Kelley says truthfully, looking at Alex with puppy eyes.

Allie pouts at Alex, after looking at Kelley. Alex groans loudly, turning around again.

“Oh come on, look at her! You can’t be mad at her when she’s that cute.”

Alex shakes her head and looks in the rear-view mirror again, looking at Kelley who looks at her expectantly, not noticing that Alex is watching her in the mirror.

“I love you, too.” Alex says softly, watching her closely.

Kelley’s eyes light up at that. Her expectant expression changes into a bright smile and she leans back relaxed, closing her eyes. She doesn’t talk for the rest of the ride and Alex softly smiles the entire way home.

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The doctor was right. When they arrive at their hotel, Allie is so nice to inform the staff about the news while Alex quickly phones Kelley’s parents, who were waiting for news as well. After a 5-minute catch-up with the promise to call them in the evening again, she reenters their hotel room, only to find Kelley fast asleep on the couch. Lucky enough the couch is big enough so Alex carefully squeezes in behind her, holding her close.

A few hours later Kelley stirs awake again. Alex has been up for a while, just watching Kelley sleep peacefully, not daring to move, afraid that she might wake her up. Kelley turns around in Alex’s arms, yawning cutely. Alex looks at Kelley expectantly with something in her eyes that Kelley can’t read.

“Damn, Al I had the craziest dream.” she frowns.

Before Alex can say anything, she starts to stretch when sitting up and quickly convulses in pain.

“Fuck, it wasn’t a dream, was it?” she lets out pained.

“Unfortunately, not.” Alex counters tensely, sitting up as well.

“Oh no. Al, I- Are you okay?” Kelley asks, quickly looking at Alex again, putting her hand on Alex’s thigh, who is rubbing her hands through her face stressed.

“So much for ‘really really going to change starting tomorrow’, huh?” Alex lashes out, letting her hands fall from her face.

“God…I’m-“ Kelley starts fazed, but Alex interrupts her, jumping to her feet.

“You’re such an asshole.” Alex exhales shakily, standing in front of her aggravated.

“What?”

“You’re so dumb!” Alex complains.

Kelley stops talking and instead just looks at her helplessly, frowning. Alex bites her lip, staring at Kelley without saying a word. Kelley holds eye contact, observing her closely.

“Don’t look at me like that!” Alex yells pained, her lip starts trembling and Kelley closes her eyes in disappointment with herself, when sobs start escaping Alex’s lips.

“How could you do that to me?!” Alex yells, crying loudly, taking a step in her direction and hitting her hand in Kelley’s chest.

Kelley just takes the blow stoically.

“You promised!” Alex yells while Kelley takes another frustrated hit to her chest.

“I thought you were going to die!!” Alex sobs desperately, trying to shove Kelley.

Kelley has never heard Alex this distressed and it absolutely breaks her heart. So, before Alex is able to shove her, she catches her hands, holding onto her wrists.

“Let go of me!” Alex cries, but Kelley just pulls her down into her lap, putting her arms around Alex, who buries her head in Kelley’s neck, holding onto her as if her life depended on it.

“You scared me.” she cries, her body shaking.

“Hey, it’s okay, I’m here, I’m fine.” Kelley soothes softly.

“I need you, okay? You can’t just disappear! I need you so so much.” Alex sobs heart wrenchingly.

Kelley nods her head, kissing the top of her head.

“Please. Please don’t leave me alone, I can’t breathe without you.” Alex begs.

Kelley takes Alex’s face in her hands, pushing her forehead against Alex’s.

“I’m here.” she repeats intently, “I’m not going anywhere, I promise.” Kelley whispers, pressing a kiss to Alex’s lips and hugging her tightly again.

“I love you.” Alex mumbles into her neck, sniffling.

Kelley caresses her back comfortingly and strokes her hand through Alex’s hair, who snuggles into her.

“I love you so much, Alex. More than anything.” Kelley replies, laying her head on top of Alex’s.

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After that day Kelley never misses a treatment again. So while Alex is training every day with the team, Kelley spends every waking second to recover, watch her train and do what’s best for her ankle. Alex smiles brightly every morning when a freshly showered Kelley wakes her with kisses before leaving for an early treatment so that they can have breakfast together afterwards. Something in Kelley switched completely and Alex feels at peace because she can tell that a situation like that isn’t going to happen again. Five days post-accident, Kelley has another appointment at the hospital. She wakes up really energized, confident that her ankle is going to be a lot better than before since she only had light problems with it. When Alex is supposed to go to practice, Kelley also has to make her way to Dr. Bright, who they have been in close contact with.

“Don’t forget to tell him about-“

“The pain in the night. Yes, Alex, I won’t forget.” Kelley chuckles.

“And call me afterwards.” Alex insists nervously.

“Al, you’re going to be training, I’ll see you when you’re back.”

“But-“

“Babe, relax. I got this.” Kelley smiles.

“Right.” Alex nods.

“I have to go, see you at 7.” Kelley leans forward and kisses her goodbye.

“Bye.” Alex waves, watching after her when Kelley takes off, limping to the entrance on her crutches.

Alex flinches when a hand lands on her shoulder.

“Come on you clinger. We’ve got stuff to do.” Allie laughs, pulling Alex with her.

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In the evening they meet up at dinner. When Alex enters the room, their gazes meet immediately like magnets. Alex realizes right away that Kelley isn’t in a great mood. They have a silent conversation just with their eyes and the conversation is over by the time Alex arrives at their table. So instead of starting to interrogate her about her appointment, she just sits down next to her and places her hand on Kelley’s thigh. Kelley reaches down and intertwines their hands, looking at Alex with a small smile when squeezing her hand. The others don’t notice since Kelley hides it perfectly, making jokes and laughing with them. Still, Alex sees that she isn't feeling well.

Alex yawns right after finishing dinner, “Guys, I think we’re going to leave, I’m exhausted.”

Kelley looks at her amused, knowing that Alex was totally faking that yawn.

“Alex, I swear you’ve become so boring! You’re old.” Sonnett complains jokingly.

“If you’d be able to play like Alex, you’d be tired too.” Kelley defends her with a smirk, causing the others to laugh.

“Okay, that was mean, Miss Kelley.”

“Grow up, Sonnett.” Kelley winks teasingly.

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When they are in their hotel room, Alex opens Netflix and starts on one of Kelley’s favorite comedies she likes to watch when she doesn’t feel good. Kelley makes herself comfortable on the couch and Alex sits down between her legs, leaning against her. Kelley hugs her waist from behind and presses a kiss to her shoulder.

“So, what happened?”

Kelley exhales heavily, pushing her forehead against the side of Alex’s head and closes her eyes. She stays silent for a moment before leaning back again.

“So apparently, I’m not recovering as fast as I’d like to think.”

“What does that mean?” Alex asks, anxiously drawing circles on Kelley’s thigh with her finger.

“As of now, I don’t know. He said he is giving me a few more days, but I thought maybe I should just tell him I want the sur-”

“Surgery???” Alex akss, turning her head to look at Kelley horrified, “No Kel, you heard it yourself, Dr. Bright said it was too early.”

“Yeah, but-“

“No buts and no rushed decisions, Kel.” Alex insists, “You have to give yourself some time. It’s only been 5 days.”

“I don’t know, Al.” Kelley mumbles.

“Don’t be silly, I’m always right.” Alex smirks.

This puts the sparkle back into Kelley’s eyes, who looks at Alex challengingly, “Oh, are you now?”

“Damn right I am.” Alex winks.

“Good for me, huh?”

“Oh, totally.”

“So what’s your prediction of my chances of getting a kiss?” Kelley smirks.

“On a scale from 1 to 10? 12.”

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Alex is woken once again in the middle of the night. Her breath hitches and she looks around disorientated and panicked. She reaches out for Kelley and realizes that she isn't lying next to her. Alex shoots up in a flash, but relaxes a bit when she sees that the balcony door is open. She can see Kelley’s silhouette looking out into the distance, holding onto the balcony fence. Alex gets up quietly and makes her way up to Kelley. It’s a warm summer night, the sky clear and plastered with stars. Kelley stands on the balcony motionless, watching the waves crush onto the shore. Alex puts her arms around her waist from behind, hugging her around her waist. Kelley starts breaking down immediately, her body vibrating as tears roll down her face, but she’s not making a single sound. Alex holds her even closer, resting her forehead against the back of Kelley’s head.

“It’s okay. You’re going to be okay.” Alex whispers softly, every word full of conviction.

A sob escapes Kelley and she grips onto the fence so hard, Alex thinks she might break it. Alex lets go of her waist and crouches down to quickly slip into the spot between Kelley’s arms so that her back is up to the fence. She then loosens Kelley’s grip on the fence, taking both of her hands in her own, intertwining them. Alex puts Kelley’s hand to her mouth and kisses the back of it affectionately. Kelley looks up at her, a single tear rolling down her eye. Alex throws her a concerned, yet devoted look, that makes Kelley’s heart skip a beat in adoration. She leans forward and rests her forehead against Alex’s, closing her eyes.

“We’re going to get through this. I’m here. You’re not alone in this.”

Kelley nods her head.

“You’re going to be healthy until France.”

“How can you be so sure of that?” Kelley asks with a shaky voice.

“I just am. We’re going to France and we’re going to be on the pitch together. I promise.”

Kelley shakes her head, frowning. Alex grips Kelley’s face, holding it still, their foreheads still pressed together.

“No, listen Kel. Look at me.” Alex whispers intently.

Kelley opens her eyes and is met with her favorite shade of blue. The light that is hovering over the city, illuminates the sky enough to make Kelley see what she needs to see.

“I promise, okay? I promise you.” Alex stresses.

What Kelley sees in Alex’s eyes is safety, calming her like nothing else can, making her believe even though it seems impossible.

“Okay?” Alex whispers.

“Okay.” Kelley breathes.

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The next days everything only goes uphill for Kelley. When her appointment with Dr. Bright rolls around, he ensures her that surgery won’t be needed, but that she certainly should be very careful and consider every factor that will help her to recover. Kelley is over the moon and from then on even more determined to get better as fast as possible. They spend their off days visiting Alex’s family as much as possible and Alex finally feels like she doesn’t have to worry about Kelley. It’s the last day of camp before everyone will fly back to their club teams and Alex is waiting for Kelley, Christen, Tobin and Becky in the Whole Foods parking lot, since they wanted to grab some lunch for all of them. Alex is leaning against the wall a few yards from the entrance, looking at her phone after ending a business call.

“Alex Morgan.” a familiar voice calls her.

Alex looks up immediately, rolling her eyes at who is approaching her.

“Gosh, why??” Alex mumbles to herself, before she greets him with a short nod, “Tom.”

“Never in a million years, would I have thought to see you again. In LA of all places? What the hell are you doing here?” he smiles annoyingly.

“Well, I don’t know if you remember but first of all I’m a professional soccer player, which normally demands going to all sorts of places and second of all my whole family lives here.” Alex sasses, annoyed by his question.

He blushes and looks at her embarrassed, “Right.”

“Anyway, how is life going? Did you and that girl split up? I mean she was pretty rude.”

Alex looks past him and sees Kelley and her friends exit the store, not listening to a word he is saying and the memories from a few years ago come flooding into her mind.

FLASHBACK ON

“Ugh, I don’t want to go there.”

“Why though?” Kelley asks with a chuckle, pulling open her locker.

“Because there’ll be only people I haven’t seen in years and there is a reason for that.” Alex complains.

“But she’s one of your best friends Alex and normally you are never in LA for stuff like this. It’s a wedding, you’ll find someone to talk to.” Kelley smirks.

Alex pushes Kelley’s locker closed in front of her face.

“Hey! I wasn't finished yet.” Kelley frowns.

“You’ll come with me!” Alex exclaims excitedly as if she had a flash of genius.

“What? No.” Kelley laughs.

“Come on, I need somebody to safe me from my stupid ex, who is definitely going to be there.”

“Why do you need protection from your ex?” Kelley chuckles.

“Because he is an arrogant asshole. He’s always bragging with his job and his new girlfriend, just because he is super boring and jealous of me earning more than him.” Alex rolls her eyes.

“ What is his job?” Kelley asks amused.

“He’s an accountant.”

Kelley fake gags, which makes Alex laugh out loud.

“Why don’t you just bring a date?” Kelley asks skeptically.

“Because it’ll be more fun with you."

“Wait, is that also the guy who cheated on you on your birthday?”

“Yup. But I wanted to break up with him later that day anyway.” Alex chuckles.

“Fine, I’ll come with you.” Kelley agrees.

“Yes! You’re the best!” Alex exclaims, pressing a peck to Kelley’s cheek before taking off to shower.

Kelley just stands in the locker room frozen to the spot with a blush creeping on her cheeks.

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By now they’ve been at the party for over two hours, even though Alex told Kelley that they’d be leaving early, because the people were going to be lame. However, Kelley is great company as always and Alex somehow never had more fun at a wedding.

“I’m going to get us some more booze, alright?” Kelley speaks closely to Alex’s ear, due to the volume.

“Yeah, thanks. I’ll wait here.” Alex smiles, which Kelley returns before disappearing in the crowd.

Alex looks around happily, waving at one of her old friends from college when suddenly she sees the person she didn’t want to see. Alex curses under her breath and asks herself why this has to happen of when Kelley is gone. She ducks her head, but he sees her nonetheless and confidently walks up to her with his girlfriend in tow. The look on his face is determined and his intentions are clear, he wants to show off.

“Alex!! How have you been?” he smiles arrogantly, pretending to be nice.

“Uhm, quite good. Everything’s fine, thanks for asking.”

“Actually, I’m doing great myself. Do you still remember my girlfriend?”

‘Great, nobody asked you.’, Alex thinks to herself, but politely smiles at his girlfriend, who is actually quite nice and whom she knows briefly through a friend of hers.

“Hi Emma.” Alex smiles.

“Hey, Alex, how are you?” Emma smiles.

Before Alex can even answer her question, Tom intervenes.

“Yeah, Alex, how come a girl like you is still all alone?” he cocks an eyebrow, clearly meaning to attack her.

Suddenly Alex feels a glass being pushed into her hand and an arm around her waist, which pulls her in so that her body is pressed closely against another. Alex turns her head and is met with Kelley, who is unusually close to her face. She looks at Kelley helpless, who gives her a reassuring look.

“Hey gorgeous, I managed to get us the good champagne.” she smiles at Alex, squeezing her hip and clinking her glass against Alex’s before taking a swig of it.

“By the way, have I already told you that you look stunning in that dress?” Kelley compliments with a lopsided smile, before turning her attention to the couple in front of them.

“Oh hey, sorry. I tend to get too distracted by her beauty. Who are you?” Kelley asks outspoken.

“I’m Tom, Alex must have talked about me.” he says with a cocky grin.

Kelley looks at him with a frown, looking like she is roaming her mind.

“Tim?” she asks as if she didn’t understand him.

“Uh no, Tom.” he laughs uneasily, looking at Alex confused.

“Ahhh sorry, you mumbled a bit. Then no, I’m confident she never talked about you. I’m Kelley.” Kelley smiles confidently, giving him a very firm handshake while having a stare off with him, looking at him challengingly.

He looks more pissed off than Alex has ever seen him and the conversation only started. Kelley raises an eyebrow at him and turns her attention to his girlfriend.

“And who is your pretty friend?” Kelley asks charmingly.

“That’s my girlfr-”

“I’m Emma!” she interrupts him, eagerly holding out her hand for Kelley to shake, looking at her infatuated.

“Nice to meet you Emma, you kind of remind me of Kristen Bell.”

It’s a stretch. They might have the same hair, but that’s about it and Alex looks at Kelley quizzically.

"Thanks.” Emma blushes, “See that’s what I always tell you. Some people see it!” she snaps at Tom, who rolls his eyes.

If Alex wouldn’t have already been gawking at Kelley, she would have been by now. Kelley quickly looks at Alex and winks at her.

“You are Kelley O’Hara, aren’t you?” Emma asks shily.

“Yeah. Do you like soccer?” Kelley smiles.

“I love soccer, actually I’m a huge fan.”

“Thanks, that's great.” Kelley says politely.

Alex notices a swagger to her, her energy cool and relaxed, giving off vibes that either would want you to be friends with her, or be with her.

“So Tim, what do you do for a living?”

“Tom and I‘m an accountant.” he says through his teeth, clearly aggravated.

“Dude. That sounds awful. I really am sorry for you.” Kelley grimaces, giving him a clap on the shoulder.

Alex almost bursts into loud laughter, but somehow manages to stifle it by hiding her face behind Kelley, however his girlfriend can’t contain it.

“Why would that be awful?” he asks offended.

“Come on Tom, don’t act like that. Your job is pretty boring compared to Alex and Kelley’s.” Emma laughs.

Tom shoots Kelley a malicious look and she just shrugs innocently. Alex eyes Kelley amazed. She has never seen anybody piss Tom off like that and she feels like kissing her for it. Wait. What? Her thoughts are interrupted by Emma.

“How long have you two been together?”

Alex eyes nearly pop out of her head, “Uhhh, we‘re not to-”

“3 years, right babe?” Kelley interrupts, resting her hand on her butt possessively.

Alex looks at her wide eyed and Kelley squeezes her butt, which makes Alex turn her head and nod at her quickly.

“Best 3 years of my life.” Kelley says, pressing a kiss to Alex’s cheek.

“Oh my god, you guys are so cute. I didn’t know that you were a couple. I could immediately sense your love for each other though. Alex your eyes are shining when you look at Kelley.” Emma gushes.

“Thanks.” Kelley grins brightly, turning to Alex, staring deep into her eyes, “She is the love of my life.”

Alex somehow feels mesmerized by the way Kelley is looking at her in that moment and she drifts off, not able to break eye contact. Alex knows that Kelley is just acting right now, but somehow it feels so real and natural.

“Alex what we’re you saying? You’re not together?” Tom interrupts, with an evil glimmer in his eye.

Alex turns to look at him and Kelley’s grip on her tightens.

“Uh yeah, what I wanted to say is actually we’re engaged.” Alex smiles brightly and Kelley looks at her with a smirk, which she then directs at Tom.

“I proposed last year. I mean dude, between us? Look at her. I couldn’t let this chance slip. And don’t get me started on her intelligence. Only a total idiot would miss the opportunity to marry a woman like Alex.”

“Babe, stop it.” Alex smiles, putting her hand on Kelley’s chest, who reaches up to intertwine their hands and presses a kiss to her hand.

“Awww. Tom, why are you never talking about me like this?!” Emma complains.

“Would you excuse us?” Kelley asks charmingly.

“Yeah of course.” she smiles at Kelley.

“Tim.” Kelley nods at him and pulls Alex away from them.

Alex can hear Emma gushing about her ring in the distance and Alex looks down at her hand, thanking god that she put on a ring that looks a lot like an engagement ring and was a gift when winning the Olympics.

“Oh my god.” Alex laughs loudly when they finally are outside, “Kel, you saved me!”

Alex hugs Kelley tightly.

“What a prick.” Kelley rolls her eyes, when they pull apart.

“That was amazing!” Alex gushes, “He was SO pissed off. How do you always do things like that?!”

“You’re exaggerating.” Kelley chuckles.

“Stop playing it down. Emma was totally into you and when you told her she looked like Kristen Bell it was over. What the hell was that about?” Alex laughs.

“I didn’t know that he was your ex, but they stood next to me at the bar earlier and she was complaining that he couldn’t see the alikeness.” Kelley grins.

“You’re amazing.” Alex gasps.

Kelley just waves her off.

“No, Kel, really. You’re unbelievable. I just love you so much. He’s never going to get over that.” Alex grins.

“Why in the world did you date him?” Kelley asks disgusted.

Suddenly Alex becomes quieter than before. She nervously looks to the ground.

“Uhm, I don’t know. Initially, I just liked that he showed interest.” she admits sort of shyly.

“Alex, are you serious right now?” Kelley asks confused.

“What?”

“You don’t see it don’t you?” Kelley laughs frustratedly.

“Why do you sound so aggravated?”

“Because I am.”

“Why?” Alex frowns.

“Al. You’re- I mean- Have you ever seen yourself? You’re the most amazing person I know and you date that guy because he gives you a little bit attention? There is people falling for you left and -“

“Well, they’re not the right person though!” Alex almost shouts.

“But he was?” Kelley asks, not even phased by her outburst.

“No! That’s not what I wanted-“

“Then who is the right person?”

“I- I don’t know. I always make bad decisions when it comes to that. I just wish I’d meet someone who is even a bit like y-”

“OH MY GOD, ALEXANDRA MORGAN!”

Alex jumps in surprise and gets crushed by a squealing girl that clearly had a bit too much to drink. Alex throws Kelley an apologetic look.

“College.” she mouths, while getting squeezed to death.

Instead of answering Kelley just eyes her pensively. There is something unreadable in her expression and it’s so intense that Alex has to look away, because she starts blushing.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Later that night and with too many drinks in their systems, they’re finally on their way home. In the taxi Alex lays her head on Kelley’s shoulder exhaustedly, drifting off into sleep slowly. Just before Alex is about to pass out, she speaks up.

“Kel?”

“Mhm?”

“What did you think about earlier?” she mumbles tiredly with closed eyes.

“When?”

“You know when.”

There is silence for a moment as Kelley considers her next words.

“You know, I think you should be with someone who treats you just the way you deserve to be treated. Someone who respects you, who cherishes you, who protects you and most importantly loves you for who you are.” Kelley reflects thoughtfully, her voice soft-spoken.

“I think I know someone like that.” Alex mumbles.

“Oh. Okay.” Kelley tenses, “Then why don’t you just talk to them I guess?” she asks uneasily.

“I don’t think they see me in that kind of way.” Alex shrugs.

“Impossible.” Kelley mumbles.

“Hmm?”

“That’s bullshit, Alex.” Kelley speaks up.

Alex is quite for a minute and Kelley thinks she might have fallen asleep.

“Do you think I deserve to be with someone who is the most amazing person on this planet?”

Kelley exhales deeply.

“I think you deserve the world, Alex. What I don’t think is that they are going to be more amazing than you.” Kelley tries to smile.

There is an unsettling feeling starting to build in her stomach, which she could only describe as some sort of jealousy.

“Well, they are.”

Kelley looks down at the soft smile that is dancing on Alex’s face and the feeling she felt before somehow is erased.

“Well, they aren’t going to be able to say no to such a pretty girl.” Kelley smiles softly, kissing the top of Alex’s head, who is too tired to answer and falls asleep.

FLASHBACK OFF

“Alex? Are you listening?” he asks unsure.

Alex averts her gaze from Kelley and turns to look at him again.

“Thank you so much!” she smiles.

“Uhm what?” he stutters.

“Bye Tom.” Alex waves as she leaves.

“Wait! Alex!” he calls after her perplexed.

“There you are! I brought you vegan chocolate chip cookies.” Kelley smiles excitedly as Alex walks into her direction.

Instead of answering Alex just walks up to Kelley and puts her arms around her neck, kissing her meaningfully. Overwhelmed by the passionate kiss, Kelley drops one of her crutches while reaching up to stop her baseball cap from falling. When Alex pulls away Kelley looks at her stunned, her lips swollen.

“Uh, wow.” Kelley breathes.

“God, you guys didn’t see each other for like 8 minutes! Why are you like this!?” Becky groans.

“Seriously, it’s just cookies Alex.” Christen agrees.

Tobin slowly lifts the bag of food she is carrying, looking at Christen cautiously.

“Don’t even think about it.” Christen rolls her eyes, making Tobin drop her arm instantly.

“So what? I love me some cookies.” Alex grins provocatively and Kelley just shrugs at them, still recovering from the kiss.

They know better than to question Alex and start walking to the car. Alex picks up Kelley’s crutch and they fall behind a few steps.

“What was that for?” Kelley asks with an amused smile.

“For being the most amazing person on this planet.” Alex smiles back.

#Kellex #kelley o'hara #Alex Morgan #kellexfic #USWNT #kellexfanfic #love on the brain #part 21

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