#and it still isn't the same 3< /div>
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I am in literal physical pain you guys, between being sick and then the weather I haven't been running in a WEEK I am slowly going insane.
#ha. funny thing they never tell you about being a runner. ha.#is that. if you can't go running for an extended period.#and by extended period I mean more than three days.#you go crazy. ha.#I'm not joking I am sooo stir crazy rn y'all have no IDEA#Im going to have to do like over an hour of cardio today to get the same 'hit' that running for even just twenty minutes does#and it still isn't the same </3#running is just sooo addictive once you fall in love with it ack#truly no feeling quite the same#only plus side of this weather is that its forced me to go all in on weightlifting#which is awesome because YOU GUYSSSS I'm so jacked now yippie!!#like my muscles aren't as well defined as my brothers#but they're LARGER and im STRONGER than he is#HAHAHAAAAAAAAAa#so yay being tough#but still no runninggggg wahhhhhhhhhhh#sadddddddddd#someone invite me over for a sleepover and lets do a 10k together it'll be great#sunkissedliterarylightofchrist#random#running
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None of our hands are clean
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#jin guangshan#mianmian#The secret meaning behind one of the jin members scuttling off is:#I couldn't make three people work out in the remaining panels and per my rule of '3 attempts and take a different approach' he had to go.#Sometimes there are meaningful reasons why something happens in the background. And sometimes it is like this.#Let's just say he saw what was about to happen and got out of there before mianmian started throwing hands.#Okay no more delay. The sheer boldness to call WWX a killer in a room full of people who wear their war body count as a badge...#It's about hypocrisy yes - but it is also about how the narrative shifts on the same action depending on the frame.#Because at the end of the day...the blood on our hands is still blood on our hands.#Both the deaths on the battlefield and the deaths of the Jin's abusing the Wen remnants are still deaths caused by another.#They are also deaths that - depending who holds the frame - are noble acts to protect others.#But it isn't supposed to be about who was right and who was wrong.#It is about the need to be seen as the victim to avoid culpability.#Because if you aren't responsible you don't have to be held accountable. You don't have to grow or change.#If someone takes all the blame then there is no need to reflect on your own faults.#We have to protect our fragile ego from the mirror lest it shatter and we have to remake it anew.#Horrifically enough...even if WWX spared the Jin guards or even never ran into Wen Qing#He wouldn't have been able to escape being the scapegoat. He downfall was set into motion a long time ago.#My goodness...What a deliciously tragic story Wei Wuxian's first life was.
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This description of Janeway in the pilot's script made me want to draw her and then I started thinking about hunting dogs
[Patreon | Commissions]
#Saw someone say Janeway was in her 30's and got so scared...she should not be in her 30's that's just not right#But it seems that the actress was in her 30's but Janeway the character is early 40s - which is how I always conceptualize her#30's is too young to be the captain of a starship imo - Kirk's in his thirties but I think he's canonically notably young for captain?#in my head the typical captain track is you're in training/the academy until you hit twenty something#then you rise the ranks through your twenties and thirties#and by your forties you're captain - admirals etc are usually in their sixties or older#In my head Janeway was like 'I'm gonna make captain by 40' when she was 23 and she's slightly disappointed it took her until 42 to do it#and everyone's like the average age Humans make captain is like 44 and she's like I Knooow......<- still disappointed in herself#anyway I hope the hunting dog thing is understandable - unstoppable force with a job to do but also...very much loved <3#when not hunting a hunting dog is presumably much the same as a pet. Only Janeway is in 'hunting' mode 24/7 bc of the delta quad#and it's stressing her out and making her bite and Starfleet (the 'hunter' which employs her) isn't here#dog with a job off her leash....#also the descriptor was very dog-like and she loves dogs <3#Kathryn Janeway#Captain Janeway#st voy#star trek voyager art#bea art tag#30's is quite young in the grand scheme of a Human life especially in the star trek future where Humans routinely live to like a hundred#though I understand that because it's a show you'd want to hire young actors
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Small Olympus AU Drabble - Even gods have an awkward Teen stage...
Because the little trend @mikimakiboo and I made about loser Nightmare [Here] lives rent free in my mind hahaha. So... here we Go!!! just a quick Drabble about Killer joining lmao. Hope you like it friend!
*---------------------------*
Honestly? Getting stuck in the void is a rip off.
Killer had thought... He figured that once he finally did it. Once he finally managed to fight back and take control back from Chara he would be free. He would be able to reset everything to the start.
Seems like that had been foolish to even think as he just floats in the nothing. There is nothing.
So why is he here?
Is he just nothing?
Probably...
It is still... hard to remember them all.
To remember all the faces of the people who lived in the underground.
To remember who he used to be. Who he was meant to be?
He just sees himself as a weapon... he is just a weapon... Chara's weapon.
But Chara is gone now... He is a weapon without a master.
What does that make him? What can he even do now?
That is the nice part about being stuck in a dark void he suposes... There is no choice to make. There is no decision he needs to make. He can just... be.
Maybe that is nice. To just be. To not have to wrory. To not have to hurt... either be or do it.
Something... Soemthing is here?
He looks around. Searching. the void shouldn't be able to change. That is against the very fabric of the void. It is why he pulled Chara to here. Hoping that by doing this Chara would lose some of their grip on his being and the timeline. and it did! It worked! He managed to press the reset button... Except he was still here and-
He sees it.
It is a drop of pure blackness wihtin the void. It is slightly different than what surrounds it but it is obviously there...
It grows. It keeps growing and it makes a circle. Killer frowns as his body floats backwards and he pulls out his knife. He makes sure to be ready at a moment notice.
A smallish oval is formed and a dark shape steps out of the maybe portal. Then they take another step-
Only to trip and fall down. A duff bonk is heard as the other falls.
That... shouldn't be possible.
The void doesn't have a floor to fall on? It doesn't even have anyhting to trip over! how did the other trip?!
A groan is heard and the other moves to push themselves up only to not be able to touch anything, again no floor, and they yelp as they end up spinning in place. Arms waving, legs kicking. The strange limbs on their back lash out looking for anything to grab but they can't quite touch anything because again... Void.
Killer can't help but snort and let a laugh escape. Is his mind fully broken? Is he hallucinating?
For now he stashes his knife and floats over to the hallucination. He reached out and is shocked to make contact.
The contact cuases the other to stop spinning. They hang there upside down. Clearly dizzy and the limbs, tentacles aparently, are twitching and moving all independently.
The other shakes their skull before focussing on Killer "Ah! Euh. You are upside down?" they sound shocked.
Killer raises a brow "Pretty sure that is you." and he twists the other around to be upright. Maybe a bit too quickly but he can't help it.
The other is clearly affected as they sway a bit and seem to struggle to find balance in the void.
Killer snorts as he crosses his arms "How did you even trip? There is nothing to trip over?"
The other sputters and mumbles something about having expected floor. Then they straighten their back and stare at him "Hello mortal. I am Nightmare. God of negativity and future king and ruler of the multiverse! I am here to offer you a positionjob- job position!" and the socalled god just stands before him.
Killer takes a moment to just look at the maybe not hallucination his mind imagined.
The other is short, even shorter than him and Killer isn't the tallest, and chubby. They are covered with goop and the one eye that isn't covered by it is large and bright cyan, even if it still looks a bit hazed and dizzy.
Nightmare throws out his hand.
Killer snorts "A little to your left." nightmare looks confused before turning a bit and throwing his arm out again. Almost hitting Killer in the progress.
Killer isn't sure baout just following someone again. Last time it didn't go well when he made a deal just to experience something new. But... this being knows a way out of the void? He knows a way home?
That doesn't make sense? He enver heard of any god of negativity...
Nightmare continues to stand there even as Killer can see the tendrils start to move and idle, two of them are turning around one another. Nightmare's eye glances to the side before staring back at him, hand still out.
Killer leans his skull against his fist as he grins "And what exactly do you do? I never heard of you before."
Nightmare blinks before looking focused "I am the god of negativity! I bring negativity! It makes sure to balance the balance into a state of balance!" then he stops for a moment. a small cyan blush starts to appear as he sputters "It is!! Stuff! God stuff! Very complicated!"
Killer snorts as he gives anod "Of course of course. and what would i exactly do?"
Nightmare pauses before speaking "Well! It is... Just amatter of spreading negativity! then! I will gain more power and in turn become king."
Killer honestly isn't even sure if that counts as a plan. But it means a way away from here. Away from the void.
It isn't like he has a home now... He doens't even know what happened to his home... is he even allowed to clal it his home still?
He doesn't.
On the other hand. He will be out of the void.
The multiverse? Multiverse theory is real? That is perfect! He will use this idiot of a god to gain knowledge about this new place. Then once he knows the basics and how to travel it he will betray this stupid god and disappear. Never to be found again. Oh he can't wait for the shocked look on this god's face when he gets outsmarted by just a mortal.
Killer makes sure to sigh loudly as he takes the hand "Sure whatever."
Nightmare stars and the not winded together tendrils lash out. A smile appears on his face "Really?" he focusses "I mean! Of course you accept! this is a good deal!" He raises a hand and the black oval portal returns and they step through.
They end up before a large castle. It is imposing and dark looking. some victorian style mixed up in it and some statues of different creatures all around.
Ngihtmare starts to lead the way and Killer follows "This! is my castle! and now also your home. We will stay here to plan before we go to different worlds to do our work! No one knows where this place is!"
Great. he isolated himself.
Nightmare continues on "I cna edit it as a please. I took inspiration from books and stories and fabricated this world to fit those images. If anything needs to be changed or included do let me know." he pauses in the large hall "Well. This is the hall." he points towards the different doors and says what leads where.
What happens next is a whirlwind where Killer rushes after an excited god as they, he? shows him around the place. IN the end he shows his room which is right next to Nightmare's.
Nightmare's sounds downright excited even as he tries to hide it. But the tendrils are straight up wagging as he speaks "As you are my first ever follower you are also my right hand now!"
First ever follower?
Killer can't help but ask "How long have you been a god?"
Nightmare blinks but answers "I have been a god for... about five hunderd years now... I gained my powers when I was... eight? yes eight."
Killer nods... does that...
Nightmare nods "Get some rest! I will go get some food. I will be back soon." and he walks away. Silence until a yelp and a duff clank of him falling against something.
To be expected as one of the tendrils tends to wrap around Nightmare's own leg.
Killer just closes the door and sits on the clean bed. He can see the sun shining outside and a large forest against this new place.
It is a child.
Killer doens't know how but it is a child.
Did it even grow up? Was it frozen at age 8? do gods age slower?
Killer can't believe this.. he is stuck working for a child AGAIN.
It is okay.
Just grind your teeth.
Learn what you need. and then you can leave.
Eyes on the prize and keep the plan in mind.
Killer will leave quickly and not get stuck. He isn't an idiot. He knows what to do.
Just play this game and let it happen. it is a matter of time before he has his freedom again.
#utmv#LoserMare#We need a name for this AU Miki#nightmare sans#killer sans#But yes!!#Nightmare aquired his FIRST follower!! He is so proud!#Killer realised this is a CHILD#He is unamused.#it is fun how killer still sees a need to escape because he hasn't jsut realised yet that he IS free.#Nightmare isn't keeping him here. at all.#Killer will learn eventually. At the same time that killer learns he cares for nightmare.#Also what is it WITH me with child/teen nightmare aus lately?#it is a thing i do on here i noticed...#mmmmh#anyway!#Also to try and motivate/inspire you Miki :3#Join me in the loserMare propaganda >:D#We decided on a name!!#Small Olympus AU#SmallOlympusAU
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Giant Tenna hmmmmh......yes good very good
NOT cleaning this up, take it
My actual Headcanon height for Tenna is that of 20-25 feet but why not make him bigger. (One of my favorite kinds of art of him)
My Fun gang + Spamton and Tenna heights below




I might change my Susie and Spamton heights idk but this is what I think
#Make this man a U N I T#I loveee all Tenna art but it makes me just a little sad that many down play his height like nooo he isn't the same height as even Spam Neo#He literally still towers over that form.....#Big man yes yes#Deltarune#deltarune tenna#deltarune chapter 3#deltarune spoilers#Tenna#tenna deltarune#mr tenna#mr ant tenna#ant tenna#deltarune spamton#Spamton#spamton g spamton#kris dreemurr#Kris#deltarune kris#Digital art#Art#Fanart#Fandom#Artwork#Da Birdqueen art
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the fact that all of tumblr is collectively obsessed with mermaids and every year in the month of may, every single fandom starts creating fanarts of fictional characters as mermaids... and Yet! mermaid stories practically don't exist in popular media, we don't see mermaid movies, tv shows, video games being made... there is an untapped market and interest for this genre (let's call it that) but corporations are totally not aware of the things people would potentially like to see more of
#just something i noticed#mermay#may#I am sure that this popularity for merfolk fanart somewhat exists simply because they are aesthetically pleasing#so it's a popular subject for artworks#still... that's not the only reason imo... if we think about it there isn't a lot of popular media that focuses on mermaids#I can think of 1 teen tv series H2O... and maybe 2-3 movies (Splash is the most famous)... all of which are 20-30 years old now...#and the most /only truly very famous one is the Little Mermaid ... and that's it#other than that merfolk/sirens occasionally show up in fantasy movies as totally minor side characters or enemies. that's all#if you think of other popular fantastical creatures (for example vampires) there are fuckloads of movies and tv shows made about them#mermaid#merfolk#merman#my post#my posts#my thoughts#text post#textposts#there is aquaman and namor from dc and mcu... but that's not quite the same...#also i am not all caught up with marvel movies but i think they didn't even make a namor movie lol he just showed up as an antagonist#but aquaman had some really cool visuals in the underwater scenes... those were the parts of the movie that i actually enjoyed lol#the technology exists. there could be cool merfolk stories ... they are just not making them
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my personal headcanon is the vees were unremarkable nobodies when they were alive. i just love it as a thematic throughline for them. they love to let the public of hell speculate on them being famed and acclaimed since before death, but the the truth is they were a d-list failed influencer that got by on cheap controversey and scamming, a broke junkie who burned every shaky bridge he ever had, and a worn-out broadcast production assistant with more rejected auditions and tossed out script pitches than he could count. nobody missed them when they were gone, nobody cared who they were until they were dead.
#because villains who didn't start off supremely powerful are more interesting to me#vees#it's not that they CAN'T be better. or that they're simply ignorant of the ways they fuck up others lives#they actually all do have that knowledge of being the underdog. and it's made them all the more shitty#because they never want to be those people again#narratives about people who make each other worse <3#to be clear they were still shitty people in life. manipulative. consumed by greed and envy. all their individual flaws etc etc#but hell made them into the absolute worst versions of themselves#of course what their Worst Self is and the journey/length of time/initial reaction to being in hell varies#like val sees hell as a continuation of the things happening in life. just w/ the power dynamics always privileging him#it's the same drugs and violence. except the violence isn't just survival anymore but the chance to indulge his deeply sadistic desires#vox has completely dissociated from his time alive. that person is dead and he's reinvented himself 1000 times over since then#90% of the time he has those memory files shoveled into a hidden directory#he refuses to acknowledge that he's still haunted by some of the same insecurities from almost a century ago#val doesn't necessarily see his living self in a fond light but he does see that person as fundamentally him#velvette thinks life was full of people who weren't her demographic but fortunately that's been fixed by sinners!#they just couldn't Get Her and that was all their faults#the primary way they view their past selves can be summed up as: scorn (vox) apathy (valentino) and in denial (velvette)#sorry the bulk of the post was in the tags. i will be doing this again#the scorn is the coping mechanism for shame. of course
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the fact that (almost) the first thing kris does after yeeting their soul at noelle's house is go play piano for a while is breaking me. like, they miss it. and they can't play it when the player controls them, so the only way to access one of their few hobbies, one of the few things that make them happy (also one of the few things they have left of dess since it's implied she was the one who played the piano in holidays' house) is to violently and painfully claw their soul out of themselves is brutal
#ada ramblings#still haven't finished btw just replayed that section trying to see if i could somehow change something#i cant :) to be expected but still#deltarune#deltarune spoilers#also kris *is* fucking good at piano#im so sorry im taking it from you child#also also maybe im wrong but chapter 3-4 kris feels even more unreactive dull and passively-resistant#they dont react to surprising things/loud noises the same way ralsei and susie do#they dont engage with big emotional moments#when you choose words for them they seem to repeat your choice verbatim not caring to make it sound like human talking#like when you choose something along the lines of “check up on susie” and susie then asks kris what they want#they seem to say verbatim “check up on susie” which she makes note of#like. kris isn't entertaining me-us-the player in any way anymore#maybe it was always like this tho idk#just a note
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✨Dreamy sigh✨
#alycia debnam carey#stellar mag#she is so fed the fuck up with being called an overnight success for the last 3 years 😂#i still think it's hilarious that from the second she bought a house here she's been like bitch I wanna go home#same babygirl same.... except this is it for me and also help#i somewhat wonder if she isn't going to fuck off outta hollywood within the next decade or so#coukd be wrong obvs#but with ever interview she sounds more and more disillusioned with it all and just tires of the bullshit#couldn't blame her a bit if that's true
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The good thing about this being a weekly airing series is that I'll get to see pretty quickly if I'm on the mark with this but rn am thinking of how pre-amnesia seven was unreadable and so people presumed the worse. Like, we know this part already. His (relative) silence and lack of clear expression let people read into him what they thought fitting.
With post-amnesia seven meanwhile, one of his main characteristics is how *chatty* he is. Someone will charge at him and he'll start commentating.
So, like, now he's getting his memories *back* (albeit in dribs and drabs), the first thing we notice is the whole earnestly trying to murder some guys (as opposed to half-heartedly fighting and/or being on the defence the whole time). But, we actually see in his mind during this. We see that he's been instructed to react in this way. That he's literally superimposing skulls/monsters(?) over the Stan guys in his head (#healthy coping mechanisms). But he doesn't say anything to anyone there and they sure can't see into his mind and so all *they* see is an unleashed killing machine. He's back to not explaining himself.
And, it's just, they presume the worst this time too. Dai Bo, especially, is clearly wondering if he's going to lose the Seven he knows. And sure, we don't have the whole picture as the audience yet, but we can still see that Seven's first *action* after being set off was actually to *protect* the healer. It was only after he'd acted to save that he got swept into the bloodlust.
I'm guessing a lot of this season is going to be us watching Seven acting more like his pre-amnesiac self, but this time, we'll be getting the inside scoop on what's going on inside his brain. So as the audience, we can see how he's both his past and present (how his past was never as different as it seemed), but those around him won't get that insight. They'll be forced to trust in the bonds Seven built with them previously. And it'll either come down to them seeing through Seven to the root of his actions or to Seven actually being able to *communicate* this time, now he's actually been able to make connections of his own. Connections his past self was sorely lacking.
#scissor seven#scissor seven spoilers#rewatched ep 2 to check I wasn't entirely making stuff up here and am super struck by how worried dai bo is about seven this season#he's always been the money-making type but he instantly pays the mob so that seven doesn't have to use the sword again#I think it makes sense that dai bo-seven will be given focus this season but at the same time.#they sometimes choose to focus on sth entirely different and there's already been the redtooth ep so we'll see#redtooth/chairwoman jiang - seven/thirteen parallels go brrr too. the ep 3 ed credits sure seemed to think so too#also. pacing-wise I think we'll make progress with the memories faster than we have before but I kinda doubt we'll get a full merger#in this season. we could do! but it seems doubtful to me at this stage.#+ I think at present the flashbacks are still presenting enough ambiguity (plus the whole cursed sword thing) that I think the audience#will still be pulled along with the 'is he/isn't he evil' thing. I just think we'll get more pieces than those who can't see into his brain
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just to offer another perspective re: the ot3 poll from someone who is a fan creator - i fully interpreted that poll to be about tagging your own creations
To give a specific example of my interpretation - if you ship an ot3 and draw two of the characters together, do you/should you tag the ot3 when the 3rd isn’t present?
And in that above example (which i think is a completely valid interpretation of the question tbh) it would be my opinion that it’s at minimum a fandom faux pas to tag a ship that is not (entirely) present As The Op, because that fan creation will end up in the main tumblr tag
(Just like it’s frowned upon to tag ships As The Op on a post that’s not about them, in an attempt to get “reach”)
I’m saying this because i usually find you to be someone whose fandom opinions align closely with mine, and thought your response was a massive overreaction, until I came to the conclusion that you and i (and, i would guess, you and the person you were in direct response to) were looking at tagging from 2 different perspectives
I think it’s fair to say spam tagging/reach tagging As An Op on tumblr is rude behaviour (and frowned upon) AND that any reblog tags added after the fact are fair game as they do not effect the post’s reach in fandom tags + are largely for organisational reasons
(Caveat being there are few ot3 ships with greater reach and popularity than any pairings within, but i know if i was scrolling through the Parker/Hardison/Elliot tag and seeing only Parker/Hardison fanworks I would find that disappointing and even irritating yk?)
I'd agree, if you're the one creating the art in the first place, and it's exclusively for the pair and NOT the OT3, and you have no intention of it being even a part of the OT3, then that's mistagging, and mistagging is a problem.
On the other hand, if you ship the OT3 and your pairing fanwork is made with the OT3 in mind even if you've only done part of it (like, you've drawn spock and bones BUT your drawing is specifically of them while they're part of mcspirk in your head, and the third person just happens to not be currently present), then you're still within your rights to tag it as such (especially because you're still posting the creation to your blog and filing).
Poly relationships don't stop being poly just because only two people are in the room, y'know? As someone who has both written poly relationships and been in them in real life, when I was physically with just one partner it's not like suddenly I was somehow exclusively dating that person because the other person wasn't with us at the time. We were still a trio. And if/when I choose to write about an OT3 (or if I could draw, when I would choose to draw them), if I tag my own work with the OT3, because it is intended to be artwork of a part of the OT3 as a part of the OT3, even if I don't mention the third person (ie, the third person is 'not in the room') then "rude" should not be a descriptor used.
So sure, it may be annoying to you if someone makes art with only two of the OT3 and tags it with the OT3 (in general), but unless you're sure that they're purposefully mistagging it for "reach" and not just making art (including writing etc) for part of their OT3, calling it blanket rude is still not a great way to approach it, and possibly says some stuff about how one views poly relationships in general. And the poll specifically stated "if you ship an OT3" which I take to mean the art (including writing etc) is for the OT3 but only 2 of them are currently present, not "the OTP is the intention and OT3 is tagged for reach." I could be wrong, of course!
#asks#fandom#anon asks#I do understand where you're coming from on reach#and I agree doing it JUST for reach isn't appropriate tagging#because in that case it's NOT even PART of the OT3 and isn't intended to be part of it at all#just as someone who has shipped a lot of OT3s#and someone who's poly in real life#it makes me sad to think I might be seen as not really poly or not really in a poly relationship#just because only one partner is present#which like yeah fiction isn't 1:1 translation to real life of course obviously#but that doesn't mean it has no interaction ever#and how people tag has no morality attached to it#but saying how someone else tags is rude IS a judgment#but saying people shouldn't tag an OT3 they ship when they've made art of part of it as a part of it...#and like shipping aside look at it from a similar situation#If I show an airplane cockpit from the inside and tag it airplanes#are you also considering it rude or a faux pas because I didn't show the whole plane?#are you upset that when you went looking for planes you saw an airplane cockpit?#Or do you consider the airplane cockpit part of the plane even when you can't see the whole plane?#because if you can say well of course not obviously the cockpit is part of the plane#then why is it different if someone tags 2/ 3 of an OT3 with the full OT3 name#it's still a part of the whole to them#it's also not like it's forcing YOU to tag it the same way#so idk idk something to think about#I appreciate you reaching out either way
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shep I was talking to my brother about dbhc xisuma as one does and mentioned that ask about not being able to puzzle xisuma's face together mentally and my brother joked that the reason you put the spoiler bars and such on his face is cause you cant draw his whole face yet 😂
anyway I might have talked his ear off about dbhc idk tho lmao
LMAOO NOOOO!!! MY SECRET FINALLY IS OUT!!! /silly
#HEHE thats rly fun though i hope your brother is enjoying the osmosis XD#truthfully... drawing xisuma's face is still really difficult for me... bc he's always like. the character whose personality and character#like. comes from the fact that we never see his face? and so there's something about him that feels more... right when his face is just.#a mystery#but i DO have a facecanon for him. esp for dbhc bc its important. even if when i think Xisuma i don't think of his face the way i might whe#I think of other characters. that isn't the reason why I spoiler it though XD when we get the face reveal it'll be obvious enough. i hope#LMAO.#anyway#idk like#some of the first sketches i did of Xisuma's face will still be my favorites tbh#it's hard to capture the same energy of a rough sketch when you try to sharpen those soft edges into a clean picture yknow?#i HAVE gotten better at it though.... square-ish face but soft on the edges... kind blue eyes... hair always tied back tightly and neatly#idk. i think about him a LOT#especially lately but we knew this hehehe#i think he deserves to take the helmet off every once and a while and just. breathe and get out of his own head yknow#i think he gets better at it in s9 even if he only takes it off around people he really trusts (keralis and cleo)#not that doc hasnt seen him or that he distrusts doc but... well. that whole relationship is a work in progress since season 8 was. well#anyway im really and truly rambling <3#xisumas face is both an enigma to me and a soft sturdy shape in my brain... its hard to replicate consistently but those doodles are#just for me anyway =w= <3#(and a few select others. who Know. you know who you are)
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RealAgeAU Drabble - Reminiscene
Hello everyone :3
You all know what time it is!! I think... It is time for another Dream drabble :3 @spotaus I know how much you like having dream be put through the ringer :33
First drabble Prev drabble Next drabble
Not much to say this time. You guys ready?
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All things considered? Dream had been doing okay lately.
The worst part was that he wasn't sure if he felt good or bad about it.
At least Core didn't call him every 5 minutes anymore. Seems like the outcode child finally accepted that Dream had changed. That Dream had moved on.
Hah.
If only they knew how little he had actually moved on.
Dream stands in the greyed out forest. Waiting and listening. Not even a slight breeze. No sound.
A dead AU.
He used to blame Nightmare for that, for killing their AU.
Nowadays?
Dream figures it was just the end of their AU.
Dream leans against a tree and sighs. He tries to reach out but no sounds.
On his solo trips and, as Blue liked to call them, self discovery trips. Dream had learned he could speak to trees. Though maybe calling it speaking was a bit generous.
The trees didn't use words. Just sounds and whistles and whispers that could almost have been words. Dream had still been able to understand however. He just had to listen.
Seems like that was a theme for him. He just had to listen to be able to understand.
Even so, he takes a deep breath and leaves the forest and walks towards a familiar hill.
He kept returning here. Dream wants to say he doesn't know why and that it is just his home calling back for him.
He knows the truth.
He stops by the old cut down stump and focusses on the two familiar graves.
Seems like he hadn't been the only one visiting. There are once again fresh flowers. All beautifull yellows and orange coloured this time.
Dream smiles as he sits by the graves and gently touches the flowers. Part of his soul grieves at the two graves, once of which is meant for him. But another part of his soul sings in joy.
Because there is only one monster who could have made these graves and left these flowers.
Dream chuckles as he glances at the stump "Nighty came by... didn't he?"
No answer of course. Nim has died a long time ago. Even so Dream leans back against the stump as he keeps looking at the graves, most of his focus is on his own.
Dream keeps staring at the graves as he speaks "I know you won't answer me... with you being gone.. But... I want to at least think you are listening to me. Just this once."
Nim never listened to him. Neither to Nighty. They just had to listen to her.
Look at where that lead them.
Dream watches over the grey fields and the village in the distance. "Had you already decided near the start? Which one of us you would love and which one you wouldn't?"
No answer but Dream didn't mind. He watches the village in the distance. He can't help but wonder how often Nightmare would have had to do this alone. Keep watch alone.
"Or was it an in the moment decision? Had there been a moment were you held both of us and loved us both? Or had you decided the moment Nightmare formed that you would hate him?"
How often Dream would rush off, ignoring the quiet pleas to stay wiht Nightmare.
"I think you decided from the start. Why else would you give him the name you did? Say the only thing that matters about him is how he was different from me."
Would he have seen those angry people coming? With weapons? Had Nightmare been afraid? Wondering where Dream had been? Why Dream hadn't stopped them?
"It has to be the reason. Why else would you tell me to make friends with the villagers and help them? While telling Nightmare to stay put and send them away? You must have known. Known that by making me help them and by making Nightmare deny them that they would grow angry with him."
How often had Nightmare believed Dream had abandoned him? Only for him to end up mortally injured?
"You don't deserve the grave he made." Not that Dream thinks he truly deserves one himself. Even if he returns each time to see if new flowers are left for him.
Dream once again wonders if he should leave a message for the next time Nighty visits... Just something that he wishes to talk.
But then that ever present fear returns. What if it meant Nightmare wouldn't visit this place anymore instead of answering? What if he decided it was better to completely cut their past lose from him instead?
Dream hugs his legs as he tries to remember how colourful everything had been. How beautiful it had been.
But... Dream now realises that it had just been a prison of responsibility... For both him and his brother.
A golden cage... but still a cage.
Drema snorts as he nudges Nim's grave "Yet here you are! immortalised by a grave your son made you! You know. That same son you aparently never liekd or wanted? That son made you a grave and keeps said grave clean and brings you flowers. I bet you wouldn't even be thankful for it."
Dream knocks the stump with his fist "After all! How often did you tell me that I should focus on myself? How i should focus on making the villagers like me? How i shouldn't bother to wait for Nighty to return from the river?" Nim had been trying to seperate them from the start. A dream had never realised.
Dream sighs as he hugs his legs "We were children. Little babybones and you gave us adult responsibilities...." They should have just ran. the two of them should have just disappeared into the forest.
Nighty had asked him a few times if they couldn't just leave together.
Dream should have realised something was seriously wrong. Nighty had been the one who took their jobs so seriously.
But... Dream had just said he didn't want to leave his friends in the village behind.
"I wish i could turn back time... get a redo... I would stay by Nightmare's side. I would convince him that the job you gave us wasn't our job."
Dream wonders why Nightmare had been so set on doing their job so well... Dream has ideas but none of them are happy reasons.
"What... waht did you tell him? That made him desperate to do this job well?" Which lies had Nim told Nightmare in Dream's absence...?
Dream hugs his legs "Why did you never bother to tell me?" Dream grows angry as he huffs "Why did you never bother to tell me the same? Or tell me when Nighty was near? Or tell nighty when I was near? What was it you were trying so hard to protect?!"
A memory. from so long long ago. It had been raining and Nightmare hadn't been around. Ligthning had been flashing and Dream had been so afraid. His mother had help him within her branches. protected him. reassured him he would be safe. told him...
told him that Dream just had to protect himself. protect the hope he represented...
Dream laughs as he kicks the grave of his mother. glaring at it angerly "Was it worth it?! Was it worth killing one of your sons to protect the other?! Was it worth being the cause of all this pain and suffering we both had to go through?!" Dream shakes his skull as he gets up "Nevermind. You are never going to give me answers... and honestly. I am tired of you being a part of my life in anyway. I hope you rot whereever you are now." and he walks back to the forest.
It is silent and he prefers it like that. Things had been loud and hectic.
And well...
Maybe just maybe... He had done the same as Nightamre had done.
He gets to the forest lake and immediantly spots the tiny grave.
Well not grave. Dream shies away from that word. Nightmare is very much alive after all. It is more like a memorial... Wait those can be made for living people right? drema thinks so.
It was nice. It gave him a safe place to grieve and talk about everything. to imagine Nightmare across from him and listening to him. Like old times.
Dream figures that is why his own grave nad Nim's are still up. Dream knows Nightmare has to come by to take care of both graves and Dream snorts as he imagines Nightmare just telling the two graves in all the things they had been wrong in and all the stupid lies they believed.
For now he sits down and pulls out a few little knick-knacks he had collected form across the multiverse.
Dream keeps his voice quiet. Afraid someone will hear and come ruin it "Hey little brother..." he can't forget anymore that Nightmare had been his younger twin. Yet it had always been Nightmare who took care of him. "I am back..."
finally back.
Dream traces the stone and wood structure he had made. all still in perfect condition. With the AU being dead there was no more decay.
Dream organises everything he had left before sitting across from it "Sorry it took me a while. I had a.... I had an identity crisis." he snorts "I know. ironic isn't it? Everyone was always so quick to help and guide me to be what i should be yet it helped nothing. I still ended up unsure about who i was or what i had to do..."
he looks at the snowglobe he had put down "I was always jealous of how you just seemed to have it all figured out. How you were confident in what you did. Both before and after the apples. it felt like i was failing, and i guess in the end i did fail as everything i believed had been a lie..."
Dream sighs as he leans his cheek on his knee as he keeps looking at the structure "It is stupid... I had all the help in the world, and then even the multiverse. and yet still i didn't figure it out. I still didn't figure out i was a god of balance over positivity. I still didn't figure out i was doing more harm than good..."
Dream traces the grey grass under him "I was so against picking a domain Nighty... partly because i didn't want to pick something and get you stuck with something you would be hated for. Not again... but that wasn't all."
Dream hugs his legs and confesses what had been weighing him down "I was afraid of picking wrong. No, I am afraid of picking soemthing wrong. That i will pick something and once again not understand it... How did you do it Nightmare? How did you figure out what you were suposed to do? You didn't have help yet you understood...."
Drema chuckles and rubs his cheek "Not that it matters anymore. aparently i did already pick... Reaper confirmed it for me not too long ago... a god of progress. What the hell does that even mean? What does it mean i should do? I know i aparently helped blue by inspiring him to get out of that loop but still! That was on accident! what if i once again go to far?! what if i..." he hides his face "What if i mess up again?"
Guilt and Dream chuckles "Here i go again... whining about my trouble... I don't even know what my choice and pick do you... what is even the oposite of progress?! regression? Did i make it so you are stuck with like... reset stuff?!" he sighs as he rubs his cheek and rubs the tears away "This shit is so unfair... neither of us ever asked for this. We never wanted this and no one tried to help us before yet expected us to just know."
Dream stares at the memorial. no answers of course but he does feel better after speaking about his worries.
Dream chuckles as he pats the memorial gently "But.... that wasn't why i am here. As you know... today is a special day!" he turns to his pack and pulls out a bottle. it is champagne. and a few cupcakes. he lays the cupcakes between him and the structure before putting a candle on both cupcakes and lighting them.
Dream smiles as he opens the bottle and holds it up to the grave "It is our birthday!"
Dream rubs his neck "I know it must seem weird. after all! For the last i don't even know how many years i had so many people to celebrate with and so many powers and even before that it were the villagers but... well..."
his voice grows softer and softer "I miss when it was just us. After we collected berries and fresh fruits. when we would sneak off together and sit by the river to eat the fruits together and give each other small gifts..." he pulls a small wooden statue from his pack.
Dream looks at it and rubs the wood. He had spend weeks on it. an old familiar skill now unfamiliar and feeling alien in his hands. he managed to make a small owl at least. even if one eye was clearly bigger than the other and Dream now had more splinters in his hands then ever before, even more than he first started.
He places it carefully in front of the memorial "I know it... it isn't my best work... I am going to be honest, it is porbably my worst..." he just hadn't had time to try again. He tried so many times but none of them have looked right and as time went by it just kept getting worse and suddenly he didn't have time anymore.
Dream chuckles "It sucks that i.... i didn't keep up with the hobby... I hope you kept reading at least... that you had the chance to keep reading... your picture and castle seemed to reinforce this at least... there were so many books in there! and the picture of you reading..." he rubs his arm as he keeps sitting right there "I am sorry... that you felt like he had to leave and run from your home... again..." he glances down adn chuckles "look at me... rambling... lets blow out the candles okay? I will blow out both. Don't forget to make a wish."
Drema leans down and blows out the candles on both cupcakes before putting his hands together and making his wish.
A silent whisper in his mind.
please.
please.
Just give him the chance to meet Nightmare again.
To talk to him one more time.
If only once to tell him he is sorry and that Dream loves him.
Dream opens his sockets and smiles at the grave, ignoring the tears that are leaving his sockets "Did you make a wish nightmare? Remember. No telling! otherwise it wont come true!"
Dream takes the two cupcakes and eats both before opening the champagne bottle and drinking straight from it. He isn't a fan of stuff like this but champagne is suposed to be for celebrations and well... celebrating himself and his twin seems like a good reason.
He spends his afternoon like that. just being in his old AU thinking back.
Fitting. a god of progress... stuck thinking about the past.
Dream chuckles and sighs "Blue said it is fine you know? To take time and get used to everything... I just hope... that you are doing the same... taking your time to rest after everything. I can only imagine how exhausting it would ahve been to have to do everything you did while everyone was actively working against you..." he smiles up "Good news for that though! I managed to visit pretty much everyone who knew either of us personally or about us! And i managed to explain the situation! so.. hopefully... whever you are or are planning on going, people will let you be and do your thing..."
Dream smiles at the memorial with the raised bottle "to us. to the future... and... I miss you... I am sorry i didn't make it obvious how much you mean to me..."
That had to be the reason why Nightmare hadn't searched him out yet... because he beleived that Dream hated him.
And that is on Dream. On dream for not doing a good job as brother and making it obvious that he loved his twin.
Dream hums as he leans against the stone structure "I love you nighty. And I promise you, I will make it up to you once we meet again."
Maybe that is why he is the god of progress. Because he is willing to move forwards and make it up. progress towards a new future.
Dream blinks and laughs "I bet you would have heard my title and figured it out immediantly." he giggles as he leans against the stone "Happy birthday Nightmare."
Happy birthday to me.
Dream sips the expensive bottle and enjoys the peace and silence.
*-------------------------*
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#utmv#realageau#dream sans#dreamtale dream#Only dream today!#And he is thinking and remembering!#Still no edits or betas. just me letting dream ramble and think and feel what he feels#also! Look at that!#Dream knows what his domain is!#it is progression!#Dream will figure out what he wants with that later.#ironically dream is very stuck in the past#but just because he remembers the past doesn't mean he can't move forwards#How can you move forwards after all. if you are unwilling to learn from the past?#Dream just isn't feeling confident at the moment and he needs time. but he will figure it out!#Much like Nightmare uses restoration to help things return to a whole moment. to ENABLE them to heal.#(like making the mushroom tree return to a moment of being healthy so he could remove the thing doing harm)#Dream learns and uses the past. to help others learn and move forwards.#(like how blue learned from the resets nad moved forwards by changing and adapting)#Very much connected with the same overall goal but through different means <3#No baby in the drabble thought </3#Also yeah Dream sitll isn't aware that Nightmare is baby. which is gonna be QUITE the reveal... eventually :D#Euh. I think that is it for todays drabble lmao#It isn't perfect but euh they never are and i am not going ot drive myself crazy trying to make a drabble perfect ;P
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Someone asked me for a tutorial on how I draw the biscuitbites (specifically their hair) so here it is!
#murder drones#serial designation n#uzi doorman#md n#md uzi#md#moon’s art#I'm unsure if my handwriting is clear or not rip#either way this isn't like very specific guidelines or anything#none of my previous murder drones art has ever had the exact same hair lol#ESPECIALLY for N he's the hardest#but still! hope it helps! most important thing is to have fun <3
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i suck at forgiving but i will never even bother to try to forgive that axel became the comedic relief character in kh3
#kh axel#kh lea#kh3#kingdom hearts#also still love that nobody in canon bothered to answer him why ven and roxas look the same#also love that ven and roxas only interaction was confused eye contact for 3 seconds and not one frame more#but i will live because remind gave me aqua and axel combo attack and maybe i screamed at my screen#remember when axel snapped his fingers and exploded vexen into humanity#or when he kidnapped kairi to get to sora to get to roxas#or when he was xemnas bootlicker for 7 years in order for saix to rise up the ranks#or when he helped free namine#he is such a badass why isn't he ever allowed to be cool :(
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Oh dang, I really got in at the last minute! Time really flew this year!! Happy requestober, everything I've seen looks amazing so far! Could you please draw something where the Vargases get a Joel kitty but just like... *Not* under terribly sad circumstances? Like maybe after adopting Todd, they get a family cat? Thank you so much! <3
Day 31 - Mutual introductions
#My art#Requestober#Vargas#Scriabin#Edgar#Todd#Shmee#Ah! What an oddly appropriate end to the season isn't it!!! Kitty boops <3#Cats have been on my mind even before all the boopage went down so that was a double bonus as far as I'm concerned :D#Not that I'm still very good at drawing them lol but I'm not unhappy with how he turned out <3#Maybe someday Joel will get his own tag lol I've doodled him a good few times now#Same design as the little chibi Joel from the 20th Anniversary piece hehe <3#I do really like the idea of the family getting a pet they'd be good to :')#And I think a cat would be good for them as well! Especially Edgar but all of them#Still holding onto my little pet headcanon that Scriabin's a Little freaked out by cats lol - too similar to get along!#He's hiding while Todd is out front so focused on being soft and gentle and not scary so he doesn't swipe at him aw#Fun to imagine them snuggling or sleeping nearby each other ♥#Animal companionship good for everyone! Settle nerves and respect boundaries hehehe#Good and wholesome I agree ♪
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