#and ive tried so hard to be nice and understanding im not perfect

[dexthberry]

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[mischivana]

Hiiiiiii love your post they're really nice 👍

Would you want to do 44 with Piper x fem reader? Reader thought they weren't capable of love with never getting a crush on a boy but absolute gay panic when meeting Piper

But also internalize homophobia and fear of love as a whole.

I Love You and It Terrifies Me

Piper x Fem!Reader

Pronouns: She/her

Summary: You’ve always felt like you were incapable of love because you were never able to form a crush on any guys at school. But when yu return to camp that year, there’s a girl that makes you question everything.

TW: Gay panic, internalize homophobia, fear of love

Genre: Angst/Fluff

A/N: Im so sorry that this took forever, Ive been really busy with a lot of things recently. There are absolutely some spelling errors in here, and i sincerely apologize for that. also Beckendorf and Selina are alive because I say so >:)

Masterlist

All my life I’ve been told that I would find the perfect boy for me. My mother would always play dolls with me and in every game, the girl would always love the guy. Whenever I would hang out with my friends, our conversations would always divert to what boys we liked in our class. While my friends would giggle and fawn over the boys, I would sit and wonder why I couldn’t understand. And its not like I didn’t try. Every time I tried to convince myself of having a crush, I just couldn’t do it. But maybe I was just incapable of love. Im supposed to love a boy so if I cant, then I must be incapable. And that’s where I left it. For years.

When I got to camp, I thought maybe things would be different. maybe here would be the place where I couldn’t he boy that I loved. But it still never happened. But I was a kid of Hephaestus. Maybe that was why I couldn’t love. My dad had a hard time loving so maybe I did too. Thanks dad. But then I learned about my brother Beckendorf and his girlfriend Selena. So if it wasn’t my genes, then maybe it was just me. Maybe Iw as incapable of love. And maybe I just needed to be okay with that.

That was until Annabeth returned from the Dam with three new kids. Jason, the son of zeus. Leo, a new brother of mine. then Piper, a daughter of Aphrodite. I don't know what happened when I saw her but, something happened. She was so pretty, so beautiful. I sat next to her at the campfire to try and get to know her and she was great. she was funny and confident and pretty, she was really pretty. but she was dating Jason, which honestly I didn't blame her. he was conventionally attractive after all.

I left the campfire that night not noticing how I was blushing. how my heart fluttered and my stomach filled with butterflies/ maybe it was the adrenaline of making a new friend, someone I felt I really connected with. As time passed, me and Piper spent more and more time together. I considered her my best friend and I'm sure she felt the same. the only thing that set me off, I hadn't felt this way about anyone before, not even my closest friends before Piper. What was this feeling?

The truth hit me when the three left for their quest. When I was saying goodbye to Piper I gave her the biggest hug of my life.

"Please be safe Pipes, I don't want you coming home in shambles" I said worried as I continued to feel her around me.

"I'll try, I can't make any promises" she said playfully as she squeezed me back. I watched them leave and couldn't hide the worry on my face. My brother, Beckendorf, came to my side and rested his hand on my shoulder.

"I know that look, she'll be fine" his deep grumbly voice said to me. I looked at him with a puzzled look. "what look?" I asked him curiously.

He smiled back down at me and laughed before turning me and walking me back to the pavilion. "That look of when someone you love dearly is going off and you don't know if they'll be okay, but you just have to trust them. I know that look-" "He's worn it too many times" he was cutoff by his girlfriend Selina. They were the best relationship in camp. I pondered what he meant.

"Of course I care about Piper, she's my best friend" He looked at me like I was clueless. I kinda was cause I had no idea what he was talking about. I couldn't love Piper as more than a friend right? I was supposed to feel that for boys. Selina took me by the shoulders and walked me with her.

"let a love expert explain sweetie. You and my sister have a very special connection. You care about her, more than anything right?" I nodded at her as she sat us down on a bench. "why do you think that is?" "cause she's my closest friend?" she looked at me again and took a breath, mumbling something along the lines of "this is going to be harder than I thought" before clearing her throat and continuing.

"So y'know how me and your brother are dating?" I nodded again. "well, before that I felt a certain way for him and he did for me. I would always look forward to seeing him, I loved talking to him, he was my closest friend. Every time I though of him my heart felt fluttery and my stomach filled with butterflies. thats when I realized I loved him" I sat there and listened to her. It took me a moment and I realized, thats exactly how I felt for piper. Did I love Piper? could I even love another girl?

"But she's a girl...and I'm a girl...is that- is that allowed?" She looked at me shocked and gave me a reassuring smile. "Oh sweetie, it's more than okay. Why would you think not?" she asked me sincerely "my mom always told me that I could only date a boy... girls liked boys and boys liked girls" I said confused. She spoke up again, "well thats weather closed minded thinking isn't it?" I looked at the ground and pondered for a moment. Did I really love Piper?

After awhile I returned back to my cabin to think about it myself, at least thats how I framed it. I was actually really panicking. What did this even mean? What would my mom say? Is this why I never liked any boys from my school? How does Piper feel? Do I even like her or am I just kidding myself? This went on for almost two days.

I was sitting on my bed still pondering it when I heard the door open. It was my brother and Nico, Hades son. I knew Nico had a boyfriend but he was also from the 1920s so maybe thats why it was okay. Nico sat down on my bed and brought me into a conversation about it. Asking me how I felt for Piper and telling me what this all meant. It was all so scary, everything I've ever been taught by my mom about love was being rewritten before my eyes. By the end of it, I realized. I was in love with my best friend, and she was dating a guy.

When they returned I was the first one to run from the crowd and envelop her in a tight hug. She hugged me back and I looked at her. she was tried, exhausted, she had a few scars but she was still her.

"Oh my gods Im so happy you're safe you had no idea how worried I was about you" I said frantically once we stopped hugging "I'm happy you worry about me" she said with a small laugh.

A few days after they had returned, everyone had discussed everything. I eventually found out that Jason and Piper had broken up after they found out their whole relationship as basically built off a lie. I helped her a lot through this. I helped her find out who she was again and assured her that I would be there no matter who she decided to be with.

"Y'know Im really happy to hear that" Piper said to me as she continued to hold my hand on the bench. "Oh? and why's that?" I said with a small laugh. "Because I realized more about my feelings on that quest other than me and Jason being fake" she said kind of cautiously. I looked at her questioningly. I knew I loved her, but there wasn't a way that she loved me back the same way. But she grabbed my hand that was in hers and brought to her lips, giving my knuckled a soft kiss. I looked at her and knew. "Piper, I don't know what love means, it...it honestly kind of terrifies me.." I said looking from her to the ground with a soft blush across my face to match hers. She brought my gaze back to hers and pressed her forehead to mine "Ill be here when you figure it out" she said to m softly. In that moment, everything Id been told didn't matter. I loved her, and there wasn't a question to that.

A/n: Hi I know this isn't that good, honestly I didn't know how to fish it so this is the best your getting. In any case, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it at least a little bit

[janeway-lover]

hey. this might be a bit of an odd ask?

I know youve probably had a lot of asks about everything thats happened so ill try to keep this as brief as possible out of respect

My name is Erin. I only knew daisy/charlie for about a month (i think? time is hard) before everything happened. but they were always incredibly kind and supportive and just a wonderful person and friend.

for context Im a bit of an ametuer game developer. ive been working on this one game for a little while now, and in memory of their passing I decided to add a little easter egg where if youre really, really lucky you have the chance of running into a person named Charlie, and become friends with them, and if you do they are the nicest person possible (and can never get sick, unlike every other character in the game), just as my own way of getting back at the universe. Because. idk. its not much but it felt right to try and immortalize them in the only way i know how

but still, you knew them far better than I ever had the chance to, so it only felt right for me to ask you for permission, or at the very least let you know what i was doing, before i did anything like that. if you dont want me to do something like that, i would completely understand and respect that.

(and just. god im so sorry. i know you dont know me and i dont really know you but just. christ)

(also im sorry if this comes across as rude or insensative. i know youre probably going through a lot at the moment so if you dont want to answer this id understand. I know this is a bit of a weird coping mechanism but its nice to think that maybe this way a bit of them can live on, maybe even longer than me. who knows)

(this is getting rambly isnt it. i should just send this now. this is probably filled with grammar mistakes and makes no sense but i know that if i tried to edit this to be perfect i would be here forever because i know theres nothing i can really say that could help is there.)

that would be really sweet and i think you should do it. i think they'd've liked that.

[slytherinshua]

HELLO!!!!

so ive been dead for a couple weeks (okay im sorry but school is kicking my ass)

BUTTTT IM BACK!!!!

And SO ARE YOU!!!

zanna pls the hao fic 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

idk whether to cry or kick my feet bc wTFFFF

how are you so g o o d (you obviously worked super hard and thats so cool of you)

ALSO

CINEMA PARADISE AND 19.99 CB!!!!!!

okay so i heard good so bad right? amazing song. 10/10 and thEn i watched the mcountdown kill the romeo performance and immediately went wHOA because why did that song hIT SO HARD LIKE?!?!??! Cinema paradise is such a ricky era (to me) bc his aura was off the roof he was so super noticable (even though he was worried bc of the hair dyeing :( he still stood out so much!) Also hao was so super good zb1 keeps getting better!!

OKAY NOW LISTEN

IM NOT THE BIGGEST ONEDOOR AROUND HERE OKAY BUT IVE LISTENED TO THEIR ENTIRE DISCOGRAPHY AND WATCHED ALL THEIR PERSONAL CONTENT AND CAN I JUST SAY DANGEROUS AND NICE GUY ARE SO GOOD LIKE BND NEVER MISSES WHAT THE HECK

Taesans line in dangerous had me actually pulling out my earphones bc wtf why was that so good i was h o o k e d the secomd that song started and then nice guy was just also really good like?!?!?!? H O W do you slay that hard like whoa

ANYWAY HI ZANNA I MISSED YOUUUUUU

im glad you're out of your mini slump!!! (i have so many ideas and i want to write but i have no t i m e!!! i dont like school 😐)

-🌱 (bc you said youd miss this <3)

im sorry i rambled on a bit but yeah !!!

HI HAFS OMG!!!! omg it has been a while but dw i understand :((( school is out to get us all istg im so tired and its only the beginning of the year... AND LIKE I THOUGHT I WAS GOING CRAZY W THAT WRITERS BLOCK HOLY SHIT LIKE I COULD NOT FUNCTION WITHOUT MY DELUSIONS BEING MY ESCAPE 😭😭😭😭😭😭

BUT AAAA IM GLAD U LIKED IT <333333 thank you ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️ ugh i remember like before i even properly stanned zb1 i was thinking about which members would fit studio ghibli boys and let me see if i can remember all the pairings.... honestly i think these ranged from most accurate (first 4-5) to zanna is running out of ghibli boys to assign

zhang hao as seiji

i think i had taerae as tombo back then but now i feel like it fits gyuvin more :((

NOW RICKY AS HOWL CAUSE WHO ELSE WOULD HE BE

and yujin as sho!!! cause look theyre literally the same skdfjksd could 100% see yujin in an arrietty storyline to me hes just the embodiment of teen youth like coming of age stories rly fit him so well

gunwook as pazu bcuz i have to satisfy my childhood crush and my current crush (also they look the same fight me)

honestly jiwoong as jiro???

taerae as asbel now (literally i don't remember anything about asbel but they look kinda similar so we're going w it)

hanbin as ashitaka bcuz i just think theyre both hot like that 🤕🤕🤕

which leaves matthew as sosuke cause i haven't watched the boy and the heron yet so idk whether that might fit better but yeah... BUT TELL ME WHY THEY KINDA HAVE SIMILAR VIBES ANYWAY SO??

now can we also appreciate how i tried to match the pics as close as i could thank you thank you anyway enough abt zb1 and ghibli boys

YES CINEMA PARADISE WAS SO GOOD!!! good so bad literally their best title track to date AND SAME W BND. i think nice guy is their best to date and ive seen a lot of ppl who like dangerous more than nice guy which is valid i also love dangerous BUT IMO NICE GUY IS PERFECT AND BETTER THAN DANGEROUS???? 👹👹👹

ricky will always stand out no matter what !!!!! even tho his hair was plain it still drew attention to him like the contrast of black hair to his skin is crazy and he looks like a whole prince (when does he ever not) BUT OMG HAO IN THE MV WRECKED ME SOOOO HARD like i think good so bad mv is the reason why hao is #2 in zb1 ranking for me rn skdfjskdfs ALSO CAN WE TALK ABT PURPLE GUNWOOK CAUSE NO IM STILL NOT OVER PURPLE GUNWOOK even tho hes had it for a while now i still look at it and then die skdfjksdhfks

IF THERES ONE THING BONEDO WILL DO ITS RELEASE BANGERS EVERY TIME!!! i swear they always stay true to their sound and concept and i LOVE that about them. every song feels SO boynextdoor but at the same time they try different sounds and tell different stories with each song. i also just adore their storytelling in their mvs and songs its so good every time!!!! and im excited to see what they release next bcuz it seems theyre doing a youth concept now that theyre done their falling in love trilogy

awwww nooo i hope u find time soon 👹 it can be so hard to find time to write sometimes istg.... but you'll manage i believe in u !!! KSDJFKSD I DID MISS IT OMG

[icyfox17]

WAIT now I’m curious :0

How would you rank all the Lovejoy songs, from best to worst? I’m incredibly interested to see what you think of them :00

Ooh man this is tough . Look I love asking these questions to OTHER ppl but when I get asked them I panic /lh /j

1. It's Golden Hour Somewhere

2. Model Buses

3. Cause for Concern

4. Consequences

5. Everything else /hj

I'm ngl king I am STRUGGLING I REALLY WANTED TO TRY, I EVEN PUT ON MY LOVEJOY PLAYLISR BUT EVERYTIME I WENT TO COMPARE I LOVED THEM BOTH EQUALLY 😭😭😭

so uh o7

5. Scum, Poabs, Sex Sells, One Day, Taunt, Perfume, Knee Deep at Atp, Call Me What You Like

6. You'll Understand When You're Older, Oh Yeah You Gonna Cry, Concrete, Warsaw, The Fall, Posg

7. Perfect Pair (IM SORRYFUFJF ITS REALLY NICE I JUST DIDNR VIBE WITH IY)

8. It's All Futile It's All Pointless

Okay after listening to all of them I actually ranked quite a few higher than I used to. I used to really not like Posg or The Fall bc of the shouting (I am a sensitive soul and don't really like shouting in my music dhfkfk) but I've gotten a lot more used to that type of music so I actually vibed with them super hard

And uh yeah iafiap is still my lowest 😭 which is ironic bc the og is one of my fav songs ever. I just... it has way too much going on, it's so overwhelming for me shfjgkfkfk

But yeahhh jazz hands, ik it's not a super proper ranking but I am physically incapable of ranking them 😭😭

Besides those top 4 ☝️ (honestly idk if consequences is above all of 5... sex sells is sooooo goooddd but yeah for now it's there bc it makes me the happiest when it comes on)

Model Buses used to be MY Lovejoy song (it just... really resonated with me I dunno, I feel like it's my Vibe) but then It's Golden Hour Somewhere came out and it knocked it out of the park LMAODJFJGKG

I still adoree model buses eueueue but golden hour is I think more of my Vibe nowww, y'know? Ive grown. Model Buses was younger me, Golden Hour is present me (wild how much one can change in a couple of years). Model buses is still my baby tho ❤️

Also my ranking for Aya has always been all over the place but cfc being that high up compared to all of the other Lovejoy songs is definitely a newer thing. I just.. I love the trumpets in cfc so much. It makes me feel an emotion none of the other Lovejoy songs do. It honestly might one day get above Model Buses. It makes me so happy. It feels truly the epitome of an Indie Movie and that's my fav vibe ever.

OGOGIGOHIGIGUHOH I PUT ON GOLDEN HOUR AND YEPYEPEYEEPYEPU IT STILL REIGNS SUPREMEEEE THAT BASS JUSR DOES SOMETHIGN TO ME ALSO THE HARMONIESSSS I LOVE THE HARMONIES SO MUCHHH AND THE WAY THE CHORUS BUILDS OHMUGOSSHDJDJFKFKDJGKDKDJFJJFJDJDJFJDJDHFJGKFKDJFKGKGKFKFKSHFJFKDKFKFJDJDKJGKGKDK THE OOOOOOOOSSSS I CANTTT I CANTTT!!!!! GOLDEN HOUR IS MY SONG!!!! I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!! IT IS JUST PERFECT FOR ME!!!!!! AND THE TITLE TOO??? LIKEEEEE THATS SO MY VIBEEEDHFJKG

The funniest part is like. I tried SO HARD to go into wu&io blind. I avoided every concert video like the plague. I scrolled past all those clips on twt. I even debated not listening to cmwyl but . I didn't want to be that left out so I did listen to it (which predictably made me feel sick of it by the time the album came out 😭) but seeing the titles of all the wu&io songs I got attached to golden hour 😭😭😭 and was already being like "I bet u that's gonna be my fav" but I was like no. I will not be biased. And the first time I listened to wu&io I actually liked poabs the best but I think that's just bc of how fucking shook I was by it being the first song I listened to and when I told my friends that it was my fav they all were like "damn I thought golden hour was gonna be ur fav" but then . I relistened to it again (bc for me it honestly takes at least like 3 or 4 listens for me to properly rank bc I am often someone who will just like the song I hear first, same thing goes with covers. It's rare for me to like a cover more than the og song if I heard the og song first. But if I heard the cover first?? I will most likely prefer that one) and then I was like Oh. Oh it's Golden hour is good. Oh. And then I literally looped it like 5 times in a row 😭😭 leaving poabs in the dust LMFAOFJJFKGF and then as I started to listen to it more Consequences just started vibing w me more than Poabs

But yeah lmaoooo, apparently it's not just me who thinks golden hour is my song but I had like 3 or 4 diff ppl instantly clock it as my fav before I even told them/listened to the album 😭😭😭

Ough,,, I love golden hour sm,,,

Anyways thanks for the ask, I had an existential crisis over it LMFOAJFJGKGK tho it's only fair since I made April do it lolll

I'm so bad at ranking stuff 😭 but feel free to ask me more bc this was fun!! U just might have to deal with a lot of ties ^-^

[amirrorcalledthemoon]

its alright, i guess. i know they're not like. venomous or anything. well technically they are, but their venom just doesn't effect humans because we're so much bigger than them. but they haven't really figured that out, so they just think im immortal.

it's really interesting, actually. they way they think. they only live for about a year, so they dont think of time the same way i do. there are stories from generations ago about when i was what I think they call a young god, but really, i was just a little kid. this was my grandparents house, but i was the only one who ever came up to the attic - my grandma hurt her knee on the sliding ladder ages ago, and my family was superstitious.

they're all gone, now. now there's just the spiders.

i try not to spend too much time with them. its not healthy, im sure. especially because at the end of the day i think they're really creepy. they're helpful, and the bits of their language ive come to understand are kind, irreverent when it's directed at me, but the feeling of the legs bothers me. sometimes i think i feel them under my skin. my doctor said something about serotonin overdose? but im pretty sure it's just the spiders.

home, they whisper to me when i enter the attic. there is a flurry of words, and i still barely speak their language. i wonder if they're saying welcome home. or maybe they're asking me to bless their home.

funnel webs fill the attic. they're amazingly elaborate structures, and they become more and more beautiful the smarter they get, the more they advance. i dream about what the insides of these tunnels look like sometimes - i wonder how much vermin they keep tied in there, bleeding dry.

"i found a rat." i tell them. ever since i realized what was going on, ive felt less and less like i know what im doing. i just do, and it just works. the rat in my hand squeals and writhes, and comparing it's fur to the sensitive spider hairs that crawl up my legs, it almost feels soft.

gift, they whisper. blessed.

i don't hear the rat's death throes over the skittering legs of the spiders that race to where ive dropped it. their whispers are gibberish to me.

=====

ive been trying to make friends since all of this started. i thought it was some hallucination at first, from me being so isolated. i met up with an old friend for coffee and ive tried to be friendlier at work. making friends at work is hard - sometimes i wonder if that's just a me thing though. everyone else seems to get on fine. but i also think everyone in their 20s feels that way.

its nice to be around people who you understand, though. whose faces shift to make expressions i can read. but when they look at me they always just look sad. it drives me insane.

the spiders don't feel bad for me. ive told them about my struggles. i get talkative when i drink, and there's been a few times i bought a nice bottle of wine from the farmers market and had no one to enjoy it with. so. spiders it is.

they don't get it, but that makes it easier to talk about, for some reason. they don't understand because they think im perfect, i think. how could a God be lonely? the pinnacle of perfection and beauty? modest and colorful as i am?

talking to them helps me put it into perspective. i get to put these thoughts into words. i still dont know what exactly they're saying in response to me. its still nice.

what, one whispers as it climbs the side of the wine bottle.

"ambrosia," i joke, though they have no idea why it's funny to me. they think me serious. so i pour the barest drop onto the attic floor, covered in those tight-knit spider webs. The wine collects in one droplet on the strands of web, a beautiful dark dew drop in the center of the spider's world.

finally, one is brave enough to crawl towards it. it's fangs make an almost wet clicking sound as they twitch, hesitating as it reaches towards the wine. it drinks it, slowly, and i watch.

it's first steps away from the red stained mark on the web make it drift to the side. the spiders start chittering, whispering, and the drunkard arachnid lies on the ground. it's legs curl inward as it dies, the alcohol filling its body and dulling its blood.

the others won't risk eating him. ambrosia, they whisper. blood of the God.

=====

they've begun to spread, now. the rest of the house is a wide world they haven't explored, that even i haven't really explored - there are so many dark corners of this place i don't touch anymore, and they collect dust. fill with cobwebs.

at first, the webs started reaching out of the hatch in the ceiling where i pull down the ladder. then they simply started popping up in new corners, budding like flowers before blooming into sprawling households of spiders.

they leave me pathways. they always have. i don't understand why they keep me around, why they accommodate for me, but ive come to accept that they just... do. and so the path from my bedroom to the bathroom is clear for me to do my morning routine. i start running the shower to let the water heat up. take a piss. brush my teeth. take my meds.

when i grab the bottle of sertraline, it doesn't rattle. im ready to see what's inside, accept that it's empty, try to plan when i can get back to the pharmacy.

but when i look in, i don't see white, oval shaped pills. the soft strands of the beginning of a funnel web paint the orange bottle, and alone at the bottom, there is a black shape, eight legs curled in as it lies dead. i swear i can feel those spider legs crawling over me. i tip the bottle back and feel the spider rattle out, not even catching on its strands of web.

ambrosia, i remember saying. and i find it funny. and the spider does not.

You realize you should’ve done something about the spiders in your attic before they multiplied, gained intelligence and started a civilization. Recently they started worshipping you as their deity.

[sleevebuscemii]

sorry if this sounds like the ramblings of an egotistical maniac or is just a little too ‘gifted kid burn out’-esque just. have faith that im a better person than that but! but!!

its just like. i am so smart. i am so smart and i am so capable and i am so willing to work so hard and ive never worked with anyone who didn’t say that i was one of the smartest and most talented people theyve worked with or taught or mentored and i just feel so surprised and very rug swept from under my feet that this is where im at a month away from 27 years old and maybe yes maybe its ego or something else ugly but i dont think so! its about what i want and what i want is to accomplish and DO and succeed because i can! and i want to! thats what i envisioned from myself and not in a way of like. delusions of grandeur but in a way of self respect and wanting that for myself and i tried so hard to achieve it! and i just dont understand why im here and i dont understand why so many people aren’t and i can or i can try to understand what got me here but none of it and all of it seems possible i mean is it because im a woman or nonwhite or an immigrant do i just not know the system is it because of my parents because of my upbringing because of my trauma like sure yes! obviously yes! to all! but also no. and so?? who cares! why couldn’t i have overcome those? people overcome those all the time Everyone is overcoming something and just. i used to feel like i Need to accomplish something in my life because so much of my life was spent in self-loathing misery and it still is when im not careful and i used to think i Have to do something with my life because i come up short in so many other ways and just. its nice that i don’t believe that anymore but! BUT i still DO want to accomplish something and do something with my life and yes its a NEED and something i HAVE to do even if its not coming from a desperate need to prove myself except i guess. maybe it is but not because i dont feel like who i am is not enough for others im not enough for myself! i want more and i cant help what i want but WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO i always thought the big ‘what’ was ‘what do i want’ and i dont have a perfect answer to that but i think the better question is what to do i do? what do i do to find out? what do i do to start pursuit? of anything? and maybe this IS ego but i feel like im the only person in the world dealing with this except no not at all because i Know im not but ive yet to find anyone whos dealt with this and come out of it as a plausible example that EYE will deal with this and come out of it something always feels off and im sick of people being like ‘some people dont figure this out until they’re forty!’ ‘people make career changes all the time!’ like sure SURE yes! in the data! of course! but do they really? i mean do they REALLY? can people really start from scratch and find their dream job at whatever age? if yes tell me HOW because the only success stories i find have a common theme of a) ability and b) luck and what if you dont have those and maybe! maybe this is a bleak ‘it doesnt matter so why bother’ outlook and thats the last thing i want because it cant be. it simply cant be that you have to make the perfect choice at 18 years old or else everything will be fucked forever. it cannot be that you have to know everything youve ever wanted and pursue it completely by the time you graduate college and that’s the only chance you get in life unless you get blessed with some insane happenstance that changes everything but also!!!!! its looking like thems the breaks!!!!!!!!

trying out stuff from that one masterpost

[tokyo-terror]

YOO IM IN LOVE WITH UR HCS THEY TASTE LIKE CHOCOLATE COVERED STRAWBERRIES AND FRUIT TEA :3

Request here 🙏🙏🙏

Could you possibly.. *leans on Bugatti with graves wrap on it + an inflatable eagle and American flag flying from the bonnet* write some hcs for 141 + König with a gn s/o that has had a really bad day and just needs some comfort? So eg, just being pampered and having their hair washed, being told they’ve done well, that people are proud of them and love them, etc?

Ive been having a really shitty past few months with my depression and anxiety and it’s really overwhelmed me so I’m kinda projecting.. 🧍🏼🧍🏼

If you can’t do it, that’s ok!!! No pressure <33

But if you can, may your skin be clear and may your crops flourish 🙏🙏🙏 (with america rizz) (im british)

i hate brits but ill make an exception for u 🫶 /lh i hope ur day gets a littol bit better for u pookie :< ik how hard it gets fr <3 we r in this together :)

cw: depression (not delved into !!)

simon "ghost" riley:

☆ this guy getss it !!! he doesn't open up much about his feelings directly but let's all be fr and agree he's not the most mentally stable

☆ your self care day is hiss self care day, thrives on cuddling and using you as weighted blanket while he rubs your back

☆ has himself a tea while you both cuddle, and trust me it's good tea. the night might turn into a cuddle and see how many teas simon can make before you run out

☆ before you fall asleep fully he kisses the crown of your head and says that he's proud of how far you've come

john "soap" mactavish:

☆ tries to be more lowkey w how he comforts you because he doesn't want to come off as overbearing

☆ has mastered the perfect balance of praise and touch, he holds your hand while you tell him about your day and he makes comments trying to sympathize w you

☆ lets you scritch his mohawk while he tells you how much he loves you and how glad he is that you're around and here with him

☆ lays his head on your chest when you both go to sleep so he can listen to your heartbeat and tap your arms to the beat of it, has both of you asleep within 5 minutes

john price:

☆ kinda awkward with comforting but he tries his best, he's always a little bit confused about how somebody like you could be so upset about anything

☆ he knows that it's not his place to fully understand though, so he sticks to doing what he does best: being an old ass man

☆ showers with you and washes your hair while you vent (or not) about how you've been feeling, he stays mostly silently except for humming to let you know he's listening

☆ towel dries your hair and changes the bedsheets to clean ones so you can be fully clean because he's a firm believer in being a little more tidy can greatly improve somebody's feelings

kyle "gaz" garrick:

☆ king of pampering in general, he's waiting on you hand and foot constantly. honestly he probably knows it's going to be a bad day before you even start your day

☆ he's always making you food to eat throughout the day, little snacks that aren't too big but are just enough to keep you energized and full

☆ ditches his military soaps for your nice ones when you take a shower, secretly (not rlly) loves when you laugh at him building bubble beards on himself and doing price impressions

☆ making you laugh is his goal in life tbh he's constantly cracking jokes while you both cuddle, some of them are so bad it's funny

könig:

☆ another guy that genuinely understands everything you're talking abt, his anxiety also makes him have awfulll days and due to being the military around lots of people he's learned coping mechanisms

☆ takes hot showers with you a lot in general, but even more when you're having one of those days. he's already washing your hair and face as soon as you get in

☆ lets you braid his hair while he talks idly about how missions are and how he adores you, though he says that in german. you've picked up on him saying cheesy stuff in german though so it's fine :)

☆ lets you sprawl out on him like a starfish when you both finally go to sleep, around 2am because of how many shows he wanted to watch with you

[spinaroos-47]

God, the last wish was so good

The story and characters were so interesting! All the little references and implications were SO GOOD, everything felt very in character for puss and kitty, this was a really great sequel. I like the previous movie, even though i don't really like quite a bit of the humpty dumpty bits, but this movie i loved everything (MINUS THE FUCKING SWORDS GOING INTO NAILS. WHY)

The reason why Puss did everything because of fear was very understandeable (though still very much not right, in the case of leaving Kitty at the altar. But he recognizes and tries to do better which is very nice), and death following him making it seem hard to know if it is him or Puss' mind making stuff up, so good. Honestly all the scenes with death were really good, especially with his voice, god, that was such a nice voice

(also i did scream a bit when i saw that Wagner Moura voiced him. It is still a bit surreal that he has been on a lot of big stuff outside of Brazil)

The reveal that he was death was really chilling. The space with all the past lives (which is really cool for another bit but that's another tangent for another time) was a perfect setting for this reveal, since he died so carelessly because of not fearing death and laughing in the face of it, the marks on the scythes (which were a pretty on the nose but hard to guess detail, love that), amazing scene

The animation is another bit that i really loved. I mean, what can i say that hasnt been said already? It looks like a painting, its energetic and fun, the colors are gorgeous, Ive been loving what has been done recently

The music was also really nice, i loved the details of how in every fight, the hits would match the music. Very nice

I really enjoyed how this movie bridged the gap between the first movie, and the Shrek universe. Because of how PIB is set up, theres not much of the magical aspect like the Shrek movies had, but PIB:TLW really did

All the little references for the old movie were really funny and well implemented, especially the "ooooh" cat and puss and kitty's gravity defying dance

Not to mention the whole Goldie and the bears stuff. I love that they chose Goldie because the original tale is about finding the "just right", so it was really fitting to extrapolate that there never would be a just right for her. But Im happy that she realized that she already had the just right. Theyre not a perfect family but you can see the love and care. Im sure they'll get better

The puns were really funny jfsjdjfkf hasta la muerte is my favorite

I feel like i could write an essay for a bunch of the small things in this movie, theres was so much that i could talk about and im having to contain myself a little to not make this 2k words long fnsndnfnd

[actualbird]

Oh god!

I really love the poly headcanons they are so sweet.... (or don't but that's part of it and i think the tot boys+MC deserve all the love the world has to give).

But, liking it or not, our 4 beloved boys are kinda complicated (that's what makes them perfect). Plus I never thought about how people get in poly relationships. So i was thinking, how do you think they all get into a polyrelationship together?

(I really have no idea of how that would happen)

hi, two anons!! im glad you guys liked my nxx team polycule stuff!! i'll answer these in one go, my "headcanon" (in quotes because i think this kinda turned into a character analysis/minific of sorts HAHA) being what first anon asked, How They Get Together.

heads up, wc of this is 1.9k words long so buckle up for a bit of a read jfsjdfkjbf

because first anon, youre right!!! the boys are stupendously complicated which i love so so much but canon has also shown us clearly that each of the boys' quirks and habits and tendencies causes a lot of (mostly played for laughs) friction. the bickering, the backhanded insults, the "im the best one here" preening contests. theyre all SOOOO RIDICULOUS and it is hilarious but yep! the boys r complex!! and that means this beautiful ship, imo, has a lot of phases to get to the actual romantic relationship bit.

how they get together, in my opinion, starts because of mc.

not in the sense that she matchmakes them all, but like.

phase 1 of the nxx team polycule is this:

through being in love with her (which we all know the boys 100% are), each of the boys come to terms with their own flaws and weaknesses. it's very apparent to me in all the story thus far that these boys are flawed as hell, it's very compelling but even more compelling to me is how all of them also do intense mental gymnastics to Not Confront Those Flaws. like, marius is a dickbag always teasing and toeing the line of insincerity, vyn is a controlling mf who always tries to sway situations to his benefit, artem is so repressed to the point that he has genuine trouble with emotions, luke is a self sacrificial bastard and also a huge hypocrite about how no, actually, hes the only one that should be hiding his pain and being dishonest, no dishonesty from other people!! in the beginning of the story, all the boys have their flaws and seem to have just kinda...not addressed how those flaws are harming them and the people around them.

and then mc rolls around and they all fall in love with her. and she sees those flaws and she doesnt let them slide. she challenges the boys in her own ways to see another side of the situation, to acknowledge what theyre doing. she doesnt want to get rid of flaws, thats impossible and also not cool. she just has this beautiful hope for like, all of humanity, that goodness can prevail with the right work. so when she sees her beloved nxx boys, she believes that for them as well.

which leads to phase 2 of the nxx team polycule:

the boys, more aware of themselves, become more aware of each other.

they werent Unaware of the others of course. it's just that they didnt like...truly connect on a personal level just yet. they saw the other teammembers with their emotional armor and flaws and saw a wall that wasnt worth looking past.

but after mc makes them realize that hey, flaws arent the end of the world actually, it's alright and the person behind them may just be worth it, the boys like. end up understanding the others. A LOT OF THIS BIT IS UNINTENTIONAL, ON THEIR PARTS KJDSBFS. like they stumble into understanding each other by accident, they didnt plan it, but over the course of nxx investigations, it's inevitable that they end up seeing the depths of the others. i delve into this a little bit in my fanfic "filler eps of the lost gold" where the boys are just going thru their actions and then trip over another boy's fears or desires and through that, gain a deeper understanding mutually.

and with understanding, sometimes, comes trust.

phase 3 of the nxx team polycule goes like this:

everybody in this team, whether they like it or not, whether they know it or not, has a heart that wants to give love so desperately.

marius lives in a world full of snakes so he cant have his heart on his sleeve for his own protection. vyn wants to be seen as perfect and the heart is inherently messy so he holds it back. artem for a very very long time was focused on work and success and achievement that he neglected his heart. and luke has been giving love all his life in a sense but in a way thats hidden.

all these tendencies that are brought upon their life circumstances results in this: they want to love honestly but they havent been able to do this

until mc. and all of them want to push back whatever fears or patterns their life has instilled in them because they see her and see somebody so unwaveringly good that all their hearts begin giving love to her to make her happy and to make themselves happy as well.

but heres the thing. the boys dont just see mc. by this point, they have connected and understood and come to trust each other as well, and the consequence of that is that They Can See Each Other Now Too, Truly.

and heres the thing. all of the boys are unwaveringly good as well.

one by one, each of the boys realize that what they feel for the other boys in the team starts to...change. yeah theyre all friends, they pick on each other a lot of the time, but the bedrock of the relationship is solid and strong now. but when marius is with luke, marius sees a light inside of luke so bright that he seems unaware that he gives off. when artem is with vyn, artem sees a goodness inside of vyn that hesitates to make itself obvious and known because vyn is scared of getting hurt thanks to it. all of them see the other and their goodness and, unbidden, their hearts want to give love to each other as well.

and because theyre all a bit stupid in their own way theyre like, huh, weird! wonder why this feeling is so familiar! and yet i cant seem to name it...and then they all independently compare these feeling with the feelings they have for mc, a feeling they do know the name of, and theyre like.

WAIT.

THESE FEELINGS ARE...VERY BASICALLY EXACTLY WHAT I FEEL FOR MC.

which only means one thing: theyve fallen in love with everybody else

marius: //goes to his studio to Think and sees that a bunch of his recent art actually had little crumbs of these feelings already, etched into the brushstrokes and scenes. has an emotional crisis about it

vyn: //records a 1 hour long entry in his audio diary to examine and gain control of his feelings but by the end of the hour all he knows is that he wants to hold these people and be held by them

artem: //quite literally just bluescreens, artem.exe has stopped working, sits at his study and slowly, slowly, thunks his head down onto his desk, valiantly trying to ignore the fast pulse of his heart

luke: //manically vents about it to peanut who, by virtue of being a bird, doesnt get it. just keeps talking at peanut to get a grasp of it all and then lies down on the floor, overwhelmed

mc, sitting in her apartment watching some netflix: ...why do i inexplicably feel as if something very, very important has just happened?

phase 4 of the nxx team polycule is basically:

pining: extreme difficulty level

because pining is already hard when ur pining for one person. what more for an additional 3 more people. and those additional 3 more people are pining back.

and all these boys are SOOOO OBVIOUS with their romantic feelings, in their own special way. the way they show their affection to mc starts to bleed into their interactions with the others and everybody can CLEARLY SEE WHAT IS GOING ON, LOL, but also all the boys are too chickenshit to confront it, because if they confront it, what will even happen??? being in love with each other, all of them, thats going to be such a complicated fucking relationship, holy shit. it's 2030, yeah, being a polyamorous group relationship isnt completely unheard of, but sue them, theyre scared.

but mc (who i forgot to mention already knows of the boys' romantic feelings for her, shes just hasnt made a move yet on any of them because SHES IN LOVE WITH ALL OF THEM AS WELL and shes been trying to figure out how the hell to make that work, she cant bear to choose just one of them, she'd be heartbroken over leaving the rest of them behind) sees that the nxx investigation team is now all pining for each other FULLY and she kinda wants to laugh when she realizes whats going on because like, what are the chances? that this would happen? that they all found each other and their feelings fell into just the right place for nobody to be left behind?

theyre all scared, she can tell. and she is as well, she wont lie.

but shes always had a belief that goodness can prevail with the right work.

and love is one of the greatest goods out there.

phase 5 of the nxx team polycule:

It's Time For Communication, Baby!!!!!

the exact scenes of how this happens is a bit vague to me. it could go two ways: mc going to each of the boys independently to talk about feelings, hers about everybodys and his about everybodys as well. OR they have a fucking meeting about it all together and artem literally schedules it in his google calendar, or something.

either way, they like, actually talk about this. starts casual, maybe over a chill date, maybe over dinner at a nice restaurant, maybe over a walk in the park as the sun is starting to set. but where ever it happens, the end result is the same: a heart is laid out bare and it is taken in gentle, grateful hands.

marius: OKAY, NOW THAT THE FEELINGS ARE OUT OF THE WAY, CAN I PLEASE KISS ONE OR ALL OF YOU, PLEASE, IVE BEEN WANTING TO KISS U GUYS FOR FOREVER

vyn, laughing fondly: has anybody ever told you patience is a virtue? we quite literally just talked it all out.

marius: //needy whining noises

artem, embarrassed: ive...never kissed anybody before

luke, embarrassed but trying to play it Cool: ....same here

mc: kissing is great, you two will love it!

marius: awesome, awesome, so is ANYBODY going to give me a go ahead or WHAT????

phase 6 of the nxx team polycule:

i dont want to say it's happily ever after, once they all get together. thats not really realistic.

they all have their quirks and tendencies and habits. and those will inevitable clash against each other. theyll have their arguments, theyll get upset, theyll sulk and be angry, sometimes. but also...

theyll see each other smile and feel like their love shining so brightly. theyll reach out for another's hand and be held in such a way that makes them think that their heart is in a safe place. theyll love each other and theyll put in the work to continue loving each other. because goodness will prevail.

and they all see each other as the most good people in the world.

so whatever happens, theyll get through it together.

[luvspence]

darling, you’re the one i want

spencer reid x reader

{im not quite sure this is how a song fic works but this is basically stolen from paper rings by taylor swift, i’m using the lyrics as like prompt one liner things?????? idk bare with me}

- 1,3,4 are mainly fluff but 2 is a lot of fighting and bickering

——-

i want to drive away with you

“do you ever feel”

you took a pause in the middle of your thought, spencer spun around in his chair to face you

“indeed, i do feel”

“shut up i’m thinking” you said as you laughed and slapped him on the arm

“do you ever feel like, trapped? like boxed in almost”

he chewed on the end of his pen

“i guess? elaborate”

“well, i love my life. i have no regrets. but sometimes i feel like just running into the streets and screaming and keep running and never stopping? just fleeing in a sense”

“yeah, i get that. sort of an intrusive liberating type thought”

“exactly” you said tapping your finger to yourself head, a few seconds of silence passed before you spoke again

“i want to drive away with you”

spencer looked at you in confusion

“you’re all i need, seriously. i love everything in our lives right now i do, but i could go without all of it, besides you”

he rolled his chair up next to your and caught your hand in his

“i’d get up right now, keys in the ignition, and i’d drive into nowhere with you y/n. you’re it for me”

——

i want your complications too

you chased spencer up the stair way

“spencer!”

he turned around

“listen to me would you? every time i open my mouth it seems that you turn off your ears”

“i’m all ears y/l/n” he said, giving you more attitude than necessary, but you were having a hard time getting through to him

“that was unbelievably stupid! you could’ve gotten yourself killed! spencer this isn’t the first time, let alone the second, let alone the 7th time you’ve put yourself in harms way! this is so dumb spencer you understand this shit but you still are reckless! and don’t give me that crap about calculated risks”

you were fuming at him

“so what i’m alive, so is our victim what more do you want?”

“why are you turning this on me? i don’t want shit from you spencer! it’s not what i want! it’s your life! my god i shouldn’t have to justify to my colleague, god to my friend why i care about them being alive!”

“well i am alive. so i don’t know why you’re so bothered y/n it’s like your my mother or something” he said as he continued walking up the stair case

“no, you don’t get to do that. you don’t get to put your life on the line and then treat me like i’m the irrational one. painting me as the villain when i only just care about you”

“why do you care so much?”

“because i’m your friend?! because i love you?!”

he ignored you and resumed walking up the stairs

“you know what spencer? it’s because i love you. it’s because i love you so much that it affects my sleep. so much that i always make you coffee when you come in. so much that no matter what i’m doing, where i’m doing or who i’m doing it with, you’re always on my mind. the problem is spencer, not that i love you, that i’m IN love with you. and even at that you can’t seem to let me in. so i don’t know what the fuck to do anymore”

a tear fell down your cheek as you slammed the door and left

spencer standing dead in his tracks on the stair case. honestly wanting to vomit

-

you spent the rest of your day scream crying. so many emotions that you couldn’t quite process anything

you were laying on your couch, radio head on your phone, dried tears on your cheeks when your heard the doorbell ring

you go and open it

spencer

“hi”

“hi?”

you stood in your doorway, looking at each other with swollen eyes

silence, 2 seemingly frozen bodies

until spencer opened his mouth

“look, i’m sorry.”

“yeah me too”

you were sick of him, sick of how he couldn’t communicate, of how blind he could be. but something about his face was so so good. you were about to shut the door in frustration before spencer started to speak again 

“and with what you said, about the love thing...”

he took a big gulp 

“i do too. i love you too. i mean i’m in love with you too”

what. the. fuck.

between the shock and the upset you were feeling, there was little part of your heart that warmed when he said those words. you opened your mouth to speak but spencer cut you off

“and i just wanted to say that because i uh i owe you the truth always. regardless. but anyway, i don’t think we should pursue that though”

you stood in your doorway in shock

you didn’t know if you wanted to fight him, cry, or vomit

probably all of the above

you were blank, nothing came to your mouth. you tried to speak, tried to scream , but the only thing that came out was 

“what?”

“i’m no good for you, you deserve someone who can be perfect for you. you deserve that truly. and i can’t be that. so i’m sorry but that’s just how it is. i just want you to be happy. you don’t deserve a guy that you have to yell at in stairways, that makes you cry until your eyes swell shut, a guy that cant reconcile his emotions for crap or can’t communicate or anything that i am. so im sorry, but i think this is what’s best for you.”  he stuck his hands in his pants

“so bye i guess”

you were paralyzed, a surplus of information hitting you all at once. you couldn’t quite process it but you knew you couldn’t just let him walk away

“you’re idiotic” you shouted as he was about to get on the elevator

“i’m what now?”

“idiotic. no ones buying the ‘i’m not a nice guy’ crap”

“it’s not crap, it’s true. i’m no good for you”

“oh please spencer you’re acting like this is your villian orgin story. first off, who do you think you even are? i’m an adult i don’t need a white man who doesn’t know how to brush his hair to tell me whats ‘good for me’”

“i’m just looking out for you”

“okay, thanks, but i’m a big girl spencer i know how to take care of myself. and even so i don’t even think thats what this is about. you know what i think? i think that you’re too scared to admit that you don’t feel the same way. which is fine by the way, but if you’re to scared to face the reality of whatever your feeling and youre covering it by turning it on me? by saying that ‘i’m too good for you’ thats fucked up and thats that spencer.”

you caught your breath and continued 

“because spencer i know you’re pulling all this shit about not being good for me but is that even true? spencer reid we’re perfect for eachother. in every way. and if you’re blind to that than whatever, but i don’t want you to lie to try and tiptoe around my feelings”

“ever since you walked into the bau y/n ive loved you. every word you’ve ever said to me get played on repeat in my head. i love you i would want nearly nothing but to be with you y/n. i love you that much. that’s why i’m trying to our myself above what i want and above whatever so that you can be the happiest you can be. it’s just that i don’t want to hurt you. you don’t deserve that. i never want you to hurt ever. and i can only prevent that by taking myself out of the picture”

“spencer, when i said i love you. it means all of you. i want every side to spencer reid. i want your complications too. it’s all worth it spencer because you’re the one for me”

you two stood there for a couple minutes. it was the longest and shortest time of your life. spencer eventually took a deep sigh and stepped in a step closer to you, looking down at your face

red from the crying, left eye swollen shut, giving him a weak smile

“you’re the one for me”

——

i want your dreary mondays

“thursday”

“no?! the worst day of the week is monday obviously”

“monday is underrated in my opinion”

you were conversing with spencer while walking through the park after dinner

“monday is the worst, it’s so hard after the two perfect days of rest to return the mundane process of life”

“sure”

“so thursday? story behind that?”

-

“hey have you seen spence?” you asked around the office, only getting head shakes

it was the monday after a long weekend, and spencer has had a less than ideal day

just woke up on the wrong side of the bed, spilt hot coffee on his pants, forgot his satchel at hole

you searched around for him, when you realized

when spencer was overwhelmed or stressed or sad or anything like that, he retreated to the basement file room

no one ever went down there, and there was a closet with a couch in it that was good for taking mid day breaks

you ran down the stairs, opening the door to the closet and sure enough spencer was there

“hey”

“hi”

he wiped his hand across his face, presumably for a tear

“what’s up spence?”

you said scooting next to him on the closet couch

“having a monday”

“i’m sorry to hear that, what’s going on”

“well besides the coffee incident and satchel problem...” he began to rant about how his day was going less than ideal. when he stopped abruptly

“hey, you don’t need to listen to this”

“i dont have to, but i want to”

“are you sure? i’d hate to bore you with my bad day”

“come on spence, i want your dreary mondays something you gotta recognize, is that you’re such an incredible person, that your bad days are better than most people’s best.”

“yeah, perspective right. my worst days are someone’s best”

“yeah, but don’t ever feel invalidated abt your bad days, you always deserve to feel upset, and i’ll always be here to listen to it”

“god i love you”

—-

wrap your arms around me baby boy

spencer wasn’t a touchy person

germaphobe habits

but something about you, he was magnetic to you

no matter what it was, on the jet, in the office, while in line at the grocery store, anywhere and everywhere he always had you in a hug

coming up behind you while you were cooking, wrapping his arms around the back of your neck while you were working

he adored you, and you adored him

after a case, the team decided to hit the local bar, nearing the end of the night, they started to play slower stuff

slower jazzier beats, the dj came on and said

“okay you couples! get up there”

a few couples hand gone up, you were tugging on spencer’s arm to accompany you up there

“well if you don’t go you know morgan will”

derek raised an eyebrow at him, and before you knew it he was dragging you on stage.

poor spencer didn’t know how to dance correctly, he was standing so far from you. hands in each other’s hands like middle schoolers

“jeez spence, wrap your arms around me”

you grabbed his hands, positioning them on your waist, you wrapped your arms around his neck, and leaned into his chest

swaying back and forth, as the sinatra echoed the other the bar and the click of garcias camera could be heard

and in that moment, nothing felt better or more right, than dancing in spencer reids arms

[hongkongaton-imagines]

hallo ! i havent dont this thing in a while but can you do a headcannons for the band w a s/o that changes style very frequently? like very masc to fem and just all over the place ？♡

hey! ive been actually going for this! i want to look very androgynous but im still in school so im afraid people will hate me. but who cares if they hate me, right?

murdoc niccals

i feel like murdoc dresses kinda fluidly as well!

i mean, it's canon that he wears skirts and dresses and heels so

but yeah, he and you share clothes sometimes

you'll see him wearing a skirt you wore the other day and then the next day, he's wearing a tank top with muscles on it

he's very comfortable with his sexuality and gender so he'll beat the shit out of anyone who makes fun of you

and he'll hype you up in every outfit! no matter what youre wearing!

"darling, has anyone told you you look absolutely rrrrrrravishing in that dress?"

"oh my love, who said you were allowed to look so nice in that suit? i might just have to keep you home so no one hits on you ;)"

and if you wear his clothes?? oh my god, he'll lose his mind (in a good way)

"imma have to ask you to slip out of that, my love~ i wasnt going to wear it or anything, i just think it'd look even better on the floor~"

stuart "2D" pot

he calls you beautiful all. the. time.

youve tried to put makeup on him and its so hard but he does his best

he wants to impress you really badly so he tried to put on one of your usual outfits and some makeup but he looked a little silly

"ah! sorreh, luv. i was jus' tryin' it on cuz you make looking beautiful so easy and i wanted tah know wot it was loike tah try it out-"

"dont worry, stu! you can wear my stuff any day! and it looks wonderful on you, honey!"

he blushed for like ten hours after that

he also hypes you up! just not as confidently as murdoc would

he tries his best though!

he doesnt really understand why you want to be androgynous all the time

"ah luv, you really look pretty in dat dress but um, why do ya wanna wear it?"

"i like it! i look good in it so why not wear it?"

after you say that, he tries his best to tell you that he really doesnt mind and that he thinks youre beautiful all the time

noodle

the master at being your hypewoman

she buys you whatever piece of clothing you want

she lets you use her as a test dummy for outfits and makeup

she recommends you all kinds of stuff to wear!

even some lingerie (she gets her dirty mind from murdoc)

"baby! come look at this lace bra and panties i found. it'll look so sexy on you~"

she uses you for inspiration for outfits for interviews, music videos and even award shows

she takes you everywhere so she can show you off like a trophy (except she treats you well because she drinks her respect people juice every morning)

"hey, noodle? can you pass me that thing?"

she walks past you and smacks your ass as she passes by, "yeah! here you go, sugar lips~"

her pet names may embarrass you a little bit but she always means well

russel hobbs

this sweetheart 🥺

he made sure to make you as comfortable as possible in all the different clothes you wear

he's really quiet about how beautiful he thinks you are

he isnt that really into pda but he does make it known how wonderful you look when youre out

"honey, you look absolutely beautiful tonight."

just like noodle, he buys you whatever you want and need for your various styles

he sometimes like to match his outfit in some way with yours so you both look perfect together

he's kinda protective over you because he knows that because youre so beautiful, people will be all over you!

especially murdoc. but luckily, russel threatens to break murdoc's nose again whenever he flirts with you

[mrpenguinpants]

Alright, I finally read Reincarnation no Kaben

AFTER MONTHS (it’s probably been a month? My mind doesn’t keep track of the days) I FINALLY CAUGHT UP TO RNK. Ty to Okita anon for the recommendation (*￣3￣)╭💕💕💕 I absolutely loved it. 

After this I’ll start on the other recommendation you gave me. I kept a bit of a log of my reading journey under the read more tag. 

Major spoilers for literally everything in RNK up to ch 53 “Withdrawal”. 

Oh, and I’ll finish answering all my leftover asks and I SHOULD have a fic done by tomorrow. I was so ready to write and then I got up. Now I’m back to bed. 

I’m just gonna write this as a log since I read super super slow and I’m only on ch 7 at the start of writing this but I’m really liking it already. Though to be fair. I love everything okita anon recommends haha. I remember you saying you were simping over Kouu and I haven’t gotten to the part where he appears but I wanted to quickly google what he looked like to prepare myself and I see this:

Well. That’s reassuring. 

I was actually kinda surprised by how many western figures were in the manga since I know there are only like 7? Around 7 western figures that pop up in any anime/manga but seeing people like Albert Fish was kinda surprising but I really liked it. Also, at the end of certain chapters they write little bio’s on them so you get to know more about them was such a nice touch.  I also love that the tradition of making males -> females still stays strong even outside the fate universe hehe.

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Literally, the next chapter I see him. AHHHHHHHHH. Well maybe not him but his eyeballs. 

This guy lowkey reminds me of the MC’s brother but it’s 99% because he has the same long ponytail. I wouldn’t be surprised if the brother was apart of the the Greats. Honestly, Ein reminds me of those really hard headed girls that are actually really kind on the inside but aren’t good at expressing themselves (maybe because that’s pretty much her character). I also like that Ein doesn’t like males but she’s hiding behind this guy. At least, I’m..99% sure this is Ein. 

I FUCKING KNEW IT. AS SOON AS I SAW HE GOT A THEIF TALENT I COULD FEEL THE SOLO LEVELING VIBES IN ME. HE CAN STEAL TALENTS I FUCKING KNEW IT!!! I’m surprised that Neumann didn’t say anything and  Haito seems to be aware of it.  

Edit: Ah okay, I understand a bit now but it almost seems like Haito is the only one aware of Toya’s second talent.

Edit 2: Okay, as much as I love power hungry MC’s I’m really glad they didn’t make Toya into that. I am such a softie for sympathetic and kind MC’s like these even though it’s been done so many times. I’m really glad this didn’t feel like a rehash. I mean, some points some of the stuff Toya says it does but it’s fine, I don’t mind that. I actually gave a crap about him since I usually prefer the side characters (I UNDERSTAND ANON, I CARE ABOUT KOUU SO MUCH AHHHHH) but HAITO?? AHHHHH. 

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I like that Izo always has the same hat in every adaptation he’s in lol. Istg, cats are always op. Schrodinger seems so strong and the parallel universes are my absolute shit. Sometimes I think, in one universe I did this and in this universe I’m not. Would I rather stay in this universe or be in the one where I am actually productive. Usually I pick the productive universe and actually work but sometimes I’m a bit of a slacker haha. I think this is my approach to a lot of things in life. But I digress, I don’t wanna get too deep into my life. 

I can sorta sympathize with the sinners. At least the ripper guy to say the least. I love love love unhinged characters that just want to basically destroy the world or at least have fun. But then you find out- wait they are actually sympathetic oh no. That’s how I felt about Djoser in “im the great priest imhotep” (please...i beg...someone read this...I’m so starved). 

As much as character development and rooting for the hero is cool and all, I just want to simp for the crazy “let’s burn the world to the ground” kinda character. I’m also so glad Toya doesn’t automatically become evil and try and steal everyone’s talents because he does seem like a good person and I really don’t see him suddenly switching fields so when he saved (I don’t remember names I’m sorry), the undead solider it was really nice. Proves that he still has his humanity and isn’t strictly relying on the branch of sin. 

It makes sense that he wants to steal talents since he never had one (and it was kinda out of left field when he killed Vlad and we just never addressed that ever again haha) but to see him actually consider his actions and if he actually want’s to steal his teammates talents feels right to me. Poor guy doesn’t seem to have a lot of friends so this is the first time he’s ever seemed to have companionship, aside from Haito, so I really hope he doesn’t attempt to steal their talents. I think I’m thinking of the slime? That time I got reincarnated as a slime manga/anime. Where he’s the pokemon catcher of skills. I thought that was where it was going. 

But I do kinda like how selfish Haito and Toya’s talent stealing relationship is (I mean, later it develops but my first draft of writing this I wasn’t there yet). I’m not sure if selfish or like self-gratitude/pride is the right word but it’s kind of a breath of fresh air. Rather than Haito trying to contain or “help” Toya’s inferiority she’s actually encouraging it and using her own talent for her own...acknowledgement? Er, yeah let’s go with that. 

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This. This interaction. I love this. Like, genuinely love this. We need more of this. Two people from opposite sides finding some common ground and their fight to the death is less about morals or whose on whose side but for themselves. I love that. This is actually some wholesome stuff. 

Edit: AHHHHH CATCH MY UGLY CRYING IN THE BACK BECAUSE ALL THE “SINNERS” ARE ACTUALLY AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. IM DEAD. YOU’VE KILLED ME. 

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I KNEW IT! YOU CAN NEVER TRUST THESE KIND OF PEOPLE!! I’m going to slap the whiteboard on this but if I see any “goofy” character I’m immediately sus of them. 

As much as I hate that Hitler is getting drawn as a small child I really like this. I know the whole, oh I killed your friends but I’m letting you go because you express humanity but I’m gonna finish my death with a sympathetic line, can be annoying to people but idk I really liked this. 

Honestly this and the undead soldiers death hit me hard ngl. This manga might not have my favourite art style during some points compared to like main stream manga but it has some really beautiful scenes. 

BOOM CALLED IT, though it’s pretty obvious lol. 

THE PONY TAIL NEVER LIES AND HES DA VINCI IT MAKES SENSE NOW

He looks so cute lol. I like that Seiya has the talent of being talented in everything while Toya has the talent to steal other talents. Seiya can probably only cap his power by his own physical/mental abilities with Toya can pull a solo leveling and go further beyond. Thinking of it like jack of trades vs master of none type deals. Though, I might be thinking too hard on this. I like that this man is actually humble but I really wish there was a tiny bit more to him since we only get this one interaction/backstory but the manga isn’t completed yet. I really hope we get to know about Seiya more;; like how he became da vinci or etc. 

Everytime I see Neumann I look at that comic sans type and it kills me on the inside. But I love that her eyes are 01 just, mwah perfection. These little details that aren’t that big but it’s soooo nice. I also ahem, unhinged character heart be still. It’s really nice reading manga in bursts because you can see the art progression and damn does she look good. 

tiny fang appreciation post. 

ngl i’M HARD SIMPING FOR THIS MAN. It’s the pony tail, I have such a thing for guys with long hair (and this is why genshin broke me) but man the art really picked up here. 

I didn’t get into it but OKITA ANON I GET IT. KOUU??? AHHHH. WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DIE??? As much as his whole “war” was a bit questionable in the beginning and tbh I still don’t really get it I like that he knows he’s not the same as the other Greats but still tries to help the other “sinners” in a way only he knows. That’s why Seiya was so important;; I get that he wanted them to have a fun death and to be understood but idk, the whole war idea and having them kill each other (especially the Hitler fights because I understand the others since they reached some kind of acknowledgement) but nonetheless, what a great guy.

Nightingale gives me mad masaki vibes from chainsawman. I hate them and I can’t wait for you to fail, but the inner part of my is cheering for you because unhinged characters are my shit. I feel really bad for Neumann, I had suspicions she wasn’t actually like that since it’s sooo out of left field but I’m really glad the manga seems to know what it’s doing. I really wish we got more Kouu interactions with everyone tho. 

NOW THIS. THIS IS SOME WHOLESOME STUFF. I WANT THIS. I REALLY WANT SPIN-OFF OF REALLY SAD ANIME/MANGA/STORIES WHERE ALL THE DEAD PEOPLE HANG OUT. That’s how I’m feeling about JJK and the scroll segments or BSD WAN that just came out. IT’S SO WHOLESOME TO SEE EVERYONE NOT TRYING TO KILL EACH OTHER. 

UGLY SOBBING IN THE CLUBBB AND KOUU AND CHARLOTTE AHHHH. I hate how this is phrased but the respect I have for Hitler?? YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HARD THAT IS TO TYPE?? Kitazuka is cool tho, I really like him. Some god given talent. I’m hard simping over him but I really hope we get to know more about him later. 

Getting smug mona vibes, I love this. 

AHHH IVE NEVER FELT THIS UPSET OVER AN APPLEEEE. I’M ACTUALLY UPSET. IF HE DIES IM ACTUALLY GOING TO CRY MY HEART OUT. 

THE FAMOUS SLAP 

I’M SORRY WHA- SLENDERMAN?

Oh..wow. Okay, be still my heart. When I first saw her I thought she was really pretty but now I’m absolutely smitten. God damn, can I please have some more crumbs on these characters before they die;; 

AHHH SAME GIRL FUCKING SAME????? I adore these small panels and translator notes. It’s a real breather after the sad 3am hours talk these characters go through. 

Yagyuu. Jesus christ. WHY ARE ALL THE DEATH SCENES IN THIS MANGA ACTUALLY SO PRETTY AND STABS ME IN THE HEART??? that’s it. goodbye. im fucking out. im actually so upset rn. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME? 

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In conclusion, and I should probably re-read what the characters say and not go off on memory because I’m about to get really deep. I really like how they phrased why they wanted to stop the branch of sin. That there are people just like Toya and Haito who, if they never found the branch of sin, could still probably lead respectable and okay lives. That there was a “them” in another universe that didn’t go down that road and that they want to be in the same universe as “them”. I know this sounds really confusing if you haven’t read the manga but going back to what I said about the parallel universe stuff. 

There was a universe where Toya and Haito didn’t rely on the branch of sin, that even without their talents from becoming a returner, they could still live a happy life given their own personalities and attitudes. It was kinda moving since in the beginning, Toya wanted a talent so badly and now that he has one. He’s realizing that wait, I don’t need a past life talent in order to live. Honestly, I hard relate to that because I totally agree with him. If you have a talent you can probably live a very happy and comfortable life that other factors wouldn’t matter if you just have that incredible talent. Thinking of it as a painter or artist, if you had actual god-given talent you wouldn’t need to worry about other factors since people would naturally seek that talent. So you end up comparing yourself to others and setting that limit on yourself. 

But that’s okay, it’s completely natural and I’m not saying it’s horrible if you do this. Fuck, I do this all the time. I’m not saying the manga is changing my life but it’s kind of refreshing that it get’s talked about since other adaptations of this just make the character super OP. I understand wanting to have that incredible talent, fuck who doesn’t? but you don’t need it in order to live earnestly in the bigger picture sense. Not everything you do has to be productive and honestly, learning to be okay with having fun is nice. Just being okay with who you are right now, even if it isn’t perfect in your eyes, you still have time to build upon yourself and your own talents but doing it for yourself. 

But I probably missed the point and I’m going way to deep haha. But I really enjoyed reading this and thank you once again to okita anon for the recommendation^^ I always love everything you send me and I’ll start reading the next one. If anyone else has any recommendations let me know! 

[pbandjesse]

Happy Valentines Day! It has been a lovely one. Even if it wasnt like my last few. We still made it nice. 

I slept alright once I got to sleep last night. But I couldnt fall asleep for the longest time. I tried curling my hair again and while I need to figure out a better way to sleep in it, I am really happy with how it turned out. When James woke me up today I looked a little crazy, but once I was washed and dressed I felt so cute. 

I love these overalls. They are comfy and cute I am so pleased. I got some compliments when we were out today and that felt nice. But James was really hyping me up about them and that was just really nice for my self esteem. 

James made us pastries for breakfast. We sat in the dungeon and had breakfast. I checked in on our island and all the villagers sent valentines presents so I had to run around and give them gifts too. 

I also gave James the gifts I got him. He seemed really happy about them and that felt nice. I love him. 

Me and James were off on our adventure soon enough.  

First stop was to trade cars with his parents. So we could go buy James a desk. It was nice to say hi to his mom, but we werent there long. 

James cleaned off his dad's car, it was very icy today. And then we went to Ikea!

It was not busy so that was nice. We had a good drive out. And I enjoyed being there. I like looking at the room displays. But we were sort of frustrated because every desk under $200 was out of stock. Including the one James had picked. Its cause everyone is working from home but it was frustrating. We found some options of like. Vanities. But nothing was great for their prices. 

I did get a garment rack, which is something Ive been trying to get for a bit now. We also got a little pony tail palm and a little bamboo. We got a few small kitchen things. But since we didnt get a desk we had to make a plan. 

I thought we could try a restore, since they have a lot of furniture. But when we drove out to the closet one, it was closed because of the ice. Annoying but understandable. 

So we decided to go back to the Second Chance we were at last week. There were a few desks that were alright there. So off we went. 

They had one of the desks I liked last time, one that I think is from around the 1940s. It was a little more than the Ikea desk, but it is real wood and will last. Its also really pretty. But because its wood it was pretty heavy. 

I wanted to take a walk around just in case we missed something before we said yes. I ended up finding a tiny little foot stool that is the same type of fabric as the small couch, and it sort of looked like a small couch itself. Like a chaise longue. Which I would tell SweetP that it is his couch and he's sleeping on it now. He's so cute and I love that when I tell him things are his he takes to them, and pretty much leaves everything else alone.  

We had to wait in line for a long time, but that was okay. It was just cold in there. But soon enough we got the desk loaded up and headed home. 

A bunch of our neighbors were coming home and leaving and it was nice saying hi to everyone. I made space for the desk while James checked to make sure we could take the drawers out to make it lighter. And then we worked together to bring it upstairs. It was a little hard but we got it up and it was such a good fit!! Its perfect. Im so pleased. 

James left to return the car and get ours. And I worked on putting things away.  And once James was home we did some cleaning and he put his things in the desk. And then we put together the clothing rack. It was just a nice time. The apartment feels really fresh and new. Its great. 

We would spend some time just resting. Eventually James would make us fancy dinner and he got macaroons for us too. And we put together these tiny lego pokemon. It was just a really sweet night. 

After dinner was cleaned up and everything was put away I took a bath. The water didnt stay hot for long enough. But I felt clean. And now I am sitting in bed. Listening to James play Zelda. I am feeling real tired but in a nice and happy way. I just hope I can sleep easier tonight. 

Tomorrow I dont have many plans beyond going to get fabric to make a commision. But I just hope its a nice time. I hope you all sleep well tonight. Be safe out there. 

[cryptocism]

ive been scrolling through ur blog for a while (cuz ur dc opinions are Top Fucking Notch) and i saw what you said abt bart in tt 03 and f:fma and while i totally agree (it killed tt 03 for me lol) im super curious abt how youd do his development if given the opportunity?

I’ve been thinking about this one like A Lot so buckle up this is long: 

it would kind of depend? On whether or not he’d be in an ensemble team like Teen Titans or with his own solo series. 

I understand metatextually why he became Kid Flash in TT, since they needed him to be more mature and a more recognizable character and having him upgrade costumes/codenames is a good shortcut for both. But I’ve already talked about why it didn’t sit right with me. 

So, lets flip the script a little bit - the start of TT would be largely the same. Our boy Bart is on the new Titans team, and things are kind of awkward after YJ disbanded, also Max is gone and Bart’s relationship with Wally is still not doing great. Things are rough, Bart has newfound doubts to deal with, especially now that the world seems to have gotten harsher and everyone seems to have a lot less patience to deal with him. The pressure to be more mature and a recognizable character is coming from other characters now rather than an authorial need: he’s reminded to take things seriously, or that he should know better by now, that he needs to slow down and think more. So Bart decides a change is necessary, and we get the library scene. He reads all the books, he reappears as Kid Flash, saves Tim via bullet catch, disassembles a gun, takes down Slade, etc. etc. Here’s my departure from canon though: it doesn’t work. 

Kid Flash is not a solution, or a magical cure for immaturity. Reading a whole library so he’s miraculously smarter and more mature and capable is, at its core, a pretty naive conclusion. And it makes sense he would think that. But it doesn’t work. He’s still impulsive, distractible, hasty. He can’t put a lid on his own sense of humor. People still think he’s annoying or lazy or careless. And he keeps trying - he knows all this stuff now, he read a whole library! - but he’s still apparently too much the same person as he's always been. And even though he’s trying very hard to live up to the Kid Flash name, it still doesn’t feel like him. Wally doesn’t like it, since Bart is literally just imitating him now, which makes things between the two even worse. And Bart keeps worrying about what’s supposed to come afterwards, since “Kid Flash” is inherently temporary, and while Impulse was only peripherally related to the flash legacy, Kid Flash comes with expectations. 

Bart is trying very very hard to be ‘grown up’ and ‘mature’, but he hasn’t actually learned anything other than a bunch of facts (which are still useful, but) he’s just trying to be who everyone expects him to be. 

And this is what i mean about the ensemble thing, because this arc would be in conversation with the rest of the core four, who are also trying very hard to be people they’re not, but all in different ways. Bart obviously with the codename change, but Cassie, Tim, and Kon all have similar issues, they’re all trying to imitate people. 

Tim is doing his Batman jr. routine, reverting back to the persona he had at the start of YJ. He’s cagey and mysterious and does questionable things without telling anybody, because he’s de-facto leader of the team again, and he has to be better than he is. No more kid stuff, the Titans are serious, he has to treat it like a job, not like a sleepover. And this whole act is putting distance between him and his friends. 

Cassie is trying her hardest to put herself in a support role. Donna’s gone and she has some big shoes to fill (she and Tim could probably bond about that if he weren’t stubbornly trying to brood at all hours of the day) and she’s doing her best to just Be Donna. Cassie and Tim would work better with their team roles swapped, and they both sort of know this - Cassie is naturally charismatic, thinks on her feet, can maintain good PR, and when she’s confident in herself is great at leading. Tim is partial to planning ahead, secrets, and keeping in the shadows, and is better at being a confidant and emotional problem solver among the team (when he allows himself to be open among friends, that is). 

But they’re both trying to fit themselves into what they see as pre-ordained roles: Robin is leader, Wondergirl is a supportive mediator. But Cassie’s got a temper and little patience for people being idiots, and Tim’s not predisposed to spotlights. 

Kon on the other hand has a story that’s less about who he should be and more who he shouldn’t be. The Lex Luthor dad storyline is here (minus the mind control shit, although the threat of it is still brought up) and Kon is doing his level best to do nothing that could be interpreted as something Lex might do. While everyone is doing their best to Not be their own person, Kon has no idea if he ever was his own person. He’s questioning everything he does, wondering if it’s some kind of evil gene showing through when he’s angry or petty or selfish. He’s going through lots of clone angst. 

So they’re all dealing with expectations and who they are or aren’t supposed to be, trying to fit themselves into boxes that don’t suit them and then convincing themselves that this is how it ought to be. Kon ought to avoid feeling or acting in any negative light because any sign of Luthor is a sign of evil, Cassie ought to tone herself down and act like Donna, Tim ought to step up and lead the team and act like Dick, and Bart ought to listen better and be smarter and slow down and grow up and do his level best to just Be Wally. 

Throughout the issues they’d all get a spotlight on their various crises, taking them through complimenting character arcs. Kon would realize through a couple close encounters and chats with ma and pa and talks with his friends and citizens of metropolis that nobody is all good or all bad. Clark can be a real asshole sometimes and Luthor’s actually done a fair bit of good (usually in his own interests, but still we’re gunning for nuance). Turns out he doesn’t have a dark side to be tempted by, he was made from 50% complex person and 50% complex person, just like everyone else. Which means he isn’t destined to be the next Superman, or Superman’s next supervillain. He’s just like, a person. With his own thoughts and feelings that have nothing to do with genetics. 

Tim would wear himself out and hide it from everybody until he killed himself, but it’s only when he sees Cassie also wearing herself out too that his ‘somebody needs somebody’ instincts kick in and they’re actually able to talk about how miserable they both are. Through some trial and error they’re able to figure out a good co-leader system for leading the team, having each other’s backs along the way, which allows for them both being able to help out the other members of their team with their own shit i.e. Kon and Bart’s identity issues. 

Bart is, like Cassie and Tim, wearing himself out trying to be this perfect version of Wally that never actually existed. He actually hates the recognition the new name gives him, because people have expectations for him now, ones he can never seem to live up to. He’s bad at following orders still, which makes him a pretty shit sidekick for Wally, in fact he’s just pretty shit at being a sidekick in general. But, he reasons, he’s supposed to be grown up and responsible now, and responsibility is all about doing shit you hate until you die, so he’s probably on the right track. 

It’s only later, once he gets some support from his friends, who help him deal with things like Max and YJ disbanding and stuff that he’s able to actually sit down and have a heart-to-heart with Wally. Wally confesses that he understands the pressure to live up to a legacy, and how he did his best to just Be Barry when he became the flash. In fact while Bart was trying to live up to Wally and be a good sidekick, Wally was trying to live up to Barry and be a good mentor. Wally’s the one to tell him that Bart’s always done his own thing, and is at his best when he does. They both agree they suck as partners, but maybe they should’ve tried to be family first. And there’s probably a racing metaphor in there somewhere because speedsters love their racing metaphors. 

ANyway Bart returns to Impulse, forging a new path, getting along better with Wally now and hanging out with him just as civilians with no pretense. He learns some valuable lessons about how maturity can’t be learned in a book, and that he’ll get it himself the more he lives and learns from experience. The Titans all get along better now that they’re all sure of their places in the group, and they can all go on just being themselves without worrying about expectations or roles to fill or whatever. 

...If Bart still had his solo series instead though, id actually want it to go in a sort of different direction? The thing about living up to predecessors and trying to be some ideal version of another person works well for the Titans because they can all deal with a similar issue in different ways, but I think it would also be interesting to do the complete opposite. 

Lots of shitty things happened in very quick succession in Bart’s life that he had no control over: Max’s disappearance, having to move in with Jay and Joan (who are nice, but whom he barely knows,) leaving his friends in Alabama, Young Justice breaking up… Basically, things kind of suck for Bart, and all he wants is for them to go back to the way they were. Instead of trying to be grown up or mature or whatever, Bart is resisting every single encroaching thing about coming adulthood. Because all growing up ever seems to mean is that everything changes and either you have to leave the people you love or they have to leave you. 

So this series would focus mostly on that, both in his civilian life; going into high school, not knowing anybody, the few friends he does make are less interested in ‘kid stuff’ and more focused on dating and interpersonal drama, high school itself seems to be geared entirely toward the “what are you going to do with your life” question, when he visits his old friends back in manchester, they’ve all kind of grown up without him. And in hero life; everyone from Young Justice is trying to move on and not talking to each other, his father figure and mentor is gone and he's not really jiving well with the rest of the flash family, and people just seem to have less patience for Impulse now that he’s older. 

Growing up is hard. It’s hard and no one understands. Especially not when you’re also a superhero and have dealt with some quality trauma like losing loved ones and feeling yourself die. So it makes sense that Bart would resist that in every way possible, do his best to pretend like everything is still how it used to be, for once in his life just trying to make everything stay put. He refuses to get rid of his old stuff, he doesn’t want to treat any villainous threats seriously, people in school keep talking about college and jobs and tuition fees and Bart wants none of that, he acts out, refuses responsibility, gets reckless under the pretense that he never used to have to be cautious. 

And this is the part where I’d bring in Inertia, cause Thad was robbed and I want him to have an actual arc that doesn’t end with infant-splosion. Also he can have a good ol companion arc to Bart. Welcome to foils everybody, where two identical boys with opposing life experiences get to thematically compare and contrast with each other as they deal with the trials and tribulations of growing up. 

So, I’m ignoring every appearance Thad ever made after Impulse 1995, picking up instead where his story left off where he swore vengeance on his creators and disappeared into the speed force. And he’s off to do exactly what he said; Thad Thawne II is going to kill his namesake/grandfather/creator - the president of Earthgov. 

But, turns out assassinating the president of a whole fucking planet is a lot harder than he thought - Thad has planned extensively for every moment of his life, so once he starts going off script things predictably go a little off the fuckin rails. Thad fails, obviously. For one because despite how much President Thawne might deserve to die, Thad at this point hasn’t done anything worse than attempted murder, and making him a killer would put a wrench in any kind of redemption arc he could have. Also he’s acting on rage, in a highly emotional state, basically going up against the entire government. Of course he’s going to get caught by the science police and brought into custody. 

Bart, meanwhile is jumping with both feet into any kind of escapism he can find, which involves various time travel shenanigans and lands him in the 30th century. He gets to reunite however briefly with his mom, but the mission he had gets derailed by the appearance of Inertia. 

Every time Bart and President Thawne interact, the president always seems to make a bid to sway Bart to the Thawne side. This never works, which is part of the reason Inertia exists in the first place; a version of Bart that the president could control. When Inertia landed in the 30th century, hell bent on assassinating his creator, the President subdued him and eventually coerced him back over to the Thawne side of the family feud. No longer a rogue agent, Inertia is back to his old self, all about destroying Bart and the rest of the Allens. 

They have a battle, taking place all over the 30th century city, and Bart does his best but Inertia has the entire Earthgov police force on his side, and Bart eventually gets captured. He gets taken to some kind of holding facility, meets with the President who monologues as him while Inertia stands beside him like a good lackey. Then suddenly the speed-inhibiting cuffs or whatever Inertia had put on Bart to stop his speed malfunctions, and Inertia drops the act, now Impulse and Inertia working together to take down the Earthgov people holding them there. 

Turns out as soon as Inertia knew he couldn’t take out the president, what with all the military force President Thawne had on his side, he bided his time until he could. He uses Bart’s help to finally get President Thawne cornered, and the assassination plan is back on track. Except now Bart is the thing stopping him. He makes the argument about how murder bad. Heroes don’t kill, etc. Inertia insists he isn’t a hero. But Bart reminds him that that’s not how Max saw him. 

Inertia hesitates just enough that President Thawne is able to get away, and now the two of them have to make an escape attempt back to the past. Bart insists on trying to take Meloni with them, and they try but ultimately fail somehow (maybe someone has to stay behind to make sure they can make the trip safely, idk. At first Thad is willing to stay behind, since there’s nothing really for him in the past. But Meloni knows that President Thawne would destroy him if he did, and she can’t let harm come to either of her sons - and she does consider Thad her son, just like Bart. She’s had far too little time with either of them, but she loves them all the same. She tells them to take care of each other, and is the first to encourage them to be like, actual brothers.) 

After yet another tearful goodbye, Bart swearing he’ll find a way for them to all be together again, Bart and Thad go back. And they do end up having to lean on each other, because shit’s tough for the both of them. Thad initially wants to apologize and possibly reunite with Max and Helen, and then finds out Max is gone. And Bart has someone who understands exactly what he’s going through. 

Things get a little more lighthearted from here. Bart and Thad don’t get along well at first, since they’re both going through rough times and lots of changes and their first instincts are to lash out at each other. But eventually they form a sort of camaraderie through shared grief, then shared fish-out-of-water experiences. Which evolves into shared inside jokes and video games and comic books and they become slow but steady friends. 

They upgrade into brothers when Bart defends Thad against the repeated (and not entirely undeserved) suspicion he receives from the rest of the Flash family. Jay and Joan take him in, but it’s clear they don’t trust him, and neither does Wally. Bart stands up for Thad, arguing that he’s as much of a Thawne as Thad is, and treating Thad like he’s the next Cobalt Blue is just going to ensure that history never changes and stupid family feuds are forever. After this, Thad starts trusting Bart a little more, and kind of solves Bart’s problems regarding encroaching adulthood with his friendship. Neither of them really had a childhood, and Thad hasn’t experienced 21st century life at all, much less the societal expectations to grow up. So Bart gets to have fun again, and Thad won't judge any of his games or his books or his attitude or interests for being childish or lame because he’s fascinated by the experience of anything regardless of the target audience. 

And from there it's a series about these two becoming brothers and growing up and the different lessons they learn and wacky characters they meet along the way. Thad ironically also puts Bart in a position where he has to take on more responsibility, since even though Thad can imitate heroic actions and is actually pretty good at it, he doesn’t understand what makes them heroic. Bart has to draw on a lot of the things Max taught him and now has to teach them to Thad. 

There’s crossover comics with Superboy, where Bart laments about having to deal with grown up stuff, and Kon gives him a new perspective on the whole “being young forever” thing, since that was a reality Kon actually had to deal with and it sucked. 

Through various misadventures they meet new and familiar characters to give them different perspectives on the whole passage of time thing. Villains who despise children or childish things, villains who embrace it but probably too much. People who talk about growing up as the worst time of their lives, others talking about it like it was the best. Kids and adults alike trying to force Bart and Thad to act a certain way while treating them another. 

The two of them come to opposing conclusions about this; Thad wants to embrace change completely, partly because he wants to experience firsthand all that life has to offer, but also his worldview depends on believing that anyone can change, and anyone can be better, because he has to believe he can be redeemed for all the shitty stuff he did. Bart, on the other hand, knows his life isn’t perfect but thinks, based on recent events, that it’s all just going to get worse from here, and so resists change as much as possible. 

Thad, in his haste to experience everything, sometimes ends up going too far, either burning both of them out, or pushing them into situations that they’re not ready for or are ill-equipped to handle. Bart, on the other hand is so resistant to change or responsibility that he stops them from doing actual necessary things like planning their futures or doing chores or making new friends. This acts as the crux for their main conflict that slowly builds throughout the series, and then in a finale to the arc, they both figure out a way to get Meloni back to the past, and to raise some stakes they have a falling out in the middle of the mission about it. 

Bart accuses Thad of trying to leave him behind, or trying to be the better version of him again, and that old insecurity about Thad replacing him crops up. Thad thinks Bart just can’t handle anything outside his personal bubble and wants to force him to live in the real world. Plus he also feels kind of abandoned by Bart, who often would leave Thad to do the scary adult things on his own. 

Tensions still high, there's suddenly an external threat to deal with - probably president thawne and the science police - and they attempt to continue arguing even while fighting the president. I’m making this up as I go so lets say yada yada big climactic moment it's looking like the two might fail to get Meloni back and they’re both still angry with each other and Bart just… can’t take it anymore. 

He keeps losing people, and the ones he keeps he always seems to screw up with. And at the end of the day he’s just a kid who wants his mom. Is that really so much to ask? So there’s a reversal, a parallel, if you will, of the assassination attempt from the beginning of the series, this time with Bart. Or, because I don’t think many people would buy that Bart would actually ever for real kill someone, maybe he’s finally about to get his mom back, but she doesn’t want to go (since she made that deal with the president that he wouldn’t harm anyone of the Allen family so long as she stayed with him) so he’s trying to force her, risking the lives/well-being of the entire Allen bloodline across all of time. 

This time it’s Thad who has to talk him down, who has to remind him about being a hero, who has to remind him that trying to go back to some magical time in the past where things were better is just going to stop him from learning and growing as a person, and that doing anything and everything possible to get there is just going to lead to Bart doing something he Actually Can’t walk back from. 

Alright but here’s the thing because having Bart be forced to leave his mom again for like the billionth time is tired and overdone, and personally the whole message about heroics involving extreme and damaging amounts of sacrifice can only go so far. So here; Thad and Bart are both right. 

Like on the one hand, yeah, it’s childish and selfish for Bart to want to be with his mom at the expense of literally everyone else in his family. On the other hand, the fact that they can’t be together because some asshole is upholding a stupid grudge is bad and unfair and wrong. The issue needing to be fixed is not the kid who wants his mom, it’s the jackass keeping them apart (and who also wants to kill/imprison people). So Bart convinces Thad that they have to save Meloni, and Thad convinces Bart that there has to be another way - one where they get their mom back and the Allens don’t have to be hunted. 

The whole story would be leading up to the two of them coming to this conclusion; the healthy middle between the two extremes. Where they have the maturity to plan ahead and sort through their differences and figure out the best course of action with the least amount of collateral, but they don’t let go of that adolescent need for justice and fairness - that thing that makes you dig in your heels and say “no. That’s not fair, that’s not right.” 

SO here’s where I’d put the title card: “Bartholomew and Thaddeus Take Down The Government”. How do they do it? No idea! I’m flyin by the seat of my pants here! Do they run for office? Do they publicize the president’s crimes in such a way he gotta go to jail? Do they somehow turn public opinion against him enough to get him out of office? idk!!! And I don’t remember enough about Earthgov’s political situation to put an accurate read on what exactly they might do to disrupt it. 

Either way they don’t kill him, manage to free their mom, and they all go back to the past together. And a new arc would involve the three of them getting settled in the past; Meloni would be a main character now, and hers is a two-pronged fish out of water story where she’s trying to figure out how shit works in the past, with overtones of the struggles of being a single parent. 

And... I’m not going to say any more about that because this is long enough already oof. 

TL;DR I think a coming of age story would be cool for Bart, and having to deal with growing up when he never really had a childhood. Also the comic itself would be aimed at younger audiences, who can probably relate to having a Bad Time in the Teens and wacky hijinks with friends and siblings.

[fanficsrusz]

New family - John Wick oneshot

A/n: just a super fluffy request from @all-thingslovely.

Summary: After dating John for a while, its finally time for john to meet y/n's daughter. But, will she accept him?

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Running her hands over the smooth material of her dress, y/n smiled as she turned looking at her outfit in different angles. It was a simple off the shoulder dress that flared out at the bottom and rested just above her knees, it hugged her figure in all the right ways. She felt and looked beautiful. Taking one last look in the mirror she decided that her loose hair and simple make up were perfect and so turned to her daughter for approval. “What do you think” y/n looked at her daughter, Josie, who was just sitting on the bed.  Josie was y/n’s 13 year old daughter from a previous marriage that fell apart when y/n husband was killed at war. It has taken several years but y/n had started to date again and this is what josie didn't like. Josie never told her mum why she hated her dating so much and was planning on keeping that way, so whenever y/n would find a new guy, josie would do everything in her power to make sure they wouldn't stay together. Was it selfish? Yes. did she care? no

Josie gave a small smile and stood up hugging her mum. “You look beautiful as always mum. Do you really need to go out with him again?” y/n sighed and pulled josie to sit down on the bed with her.

y/n had been seeing a certain John wick for a few months now, the longest she had dated anyone since the end of her first marriage and she had fallen for him hard. He was perfect. Perfect smile. Perfect eyes. Perfect everything.

“JJ. you know how much i love you right?” y/n paused and watched at josie fell back on the bed before nodding in agreement. “Then why are you always against me going out with men?” josie shrugged and continued to look up at the ceiling, avoiding any eye contact with her mum. Josie knew why she hated the thought of her mum falling in love again but she didn't want to admit it. How could she? So instead she fell into this routine of just trying to push any man away from her mum.

Looking at her daughters saddened expression, y/n fell back onto the bed laying next to josie. “Look, I really like John, and if you will let me, i would like you two to meet soon. I think you two would like eachother” those words made josie jump up and tears to pool in her eyes. “WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO ME TO MEET HIM? I DON’T WANT TO MEET HIM” she practically screamed and y/n was shocked. She had never seen her daughter act like this, especially to her. Josie saw the shock in her mum’s eyes and looked down saying a small sorry. y/n stood and hugged her, kissing the top of her head. “I don't know why you hate the idea of me dating so much but when i come back later, i want you to tell me why ok? So you better get your story straight”.

As if on cue, there was a knock at the door. “That must be John. right little miss, behave and i will be back no later than 10. If anything was to happen-” josie interrupted her “ yeah yeah i know. Call the police ``. y/n smiled and kissed her again “ i love you jj.” “love you too mum”. y/n ran down the stairs to meet john and josie watched from the window as the two walked to the car john had; a mustang. As much as she hated to admit it, johns car was pretty decent.

“y/n you look stunning” john smiled as she opened the door, “I could say the same about you” she laughed and john kissed her on the cheek. He was wearing a plain black shirt and jeans with a leather jacket, but somehow he still managed to look good in a such a simple outfit. Walking to the car, john caught the sight of josie standing at the window looking down at them, he gave a small wave with a smile which was returned by the young girl walking off. Johns smile fell and y/n looked at him with a sympathetic smile. “Dont worry about it, she's like that with everyone. I'm sure once she gets to meet you properly, she will love you” y/n tried her best to reassure him as they began to make their way to the cinema for their date.  

y/n and john had felt a connection from the second they had met, it was like an electric shock that awoken something within them and y/n  had finally felt happy for the first time in a long time and once she found out that John had lost his wife, it was as if their lives were destined to cross paths.  It also helped that John was a hot. Even Though he was older than herself, john had this aura about him that drew y/n. his eyes were a deep brown that told the story of his life and his hair was on the longerside and framed his face that had a slight beard. He was perfect.

“What are you thinking about?” John asked as he drove, y/n looked at him and smiled, “just how similar we are”  john chuckled and looked at her briefly before she continued “except for your job. That scares me. I don't even know how you did that for so long” she joked. John had told her about his job a while back and was shocked when she didn't run for the hills but he did reassure her that he had gotten out for good this time.  “You know i wouldn't let anything happen to you. Or to josie” he spoke and y/n smiled “I know ``. y/n sat back in her seat as john pulled the car into the car park. “Im worried about josie, john. I just want her to be happy. I want to be happy. I want her to accept you to accept us” john faced y/n and pulled her face so she would look at him in the eyes before placing a deep kiss to her lips. “ its true that you should want your daughter to be happy, but that doesn't mean sacrificing your own happiness. She will just have to learn to deal with it” y/n smiled and pulled away from the man in front of her. “Come on, we’re going to miss out film” and with that the two began to make their way inside the cinema.

4 hours later and john was dropping y/n off outside her house. “I still don't understand how the film could end like that…. I need more answers” y/n rambled as the two walked towards the front door and john just stared at the woman. y/n stopped as she reached the front door, turning to face john. John suddenly pushed his rough  lips against y/ns soft ones. He moved his lips against hers skillfully and y/n couldn't help but let out a small moan and john pulled back. “I love you” he whispered and y/n smiled. “I….i love you too. This was the first time either of them had said those three words. It almost felt alien for them to fall from her mouth. The pair resumed their previous kiss and it was only interrupted when the door was pulled open revealing an angry Josie. The two parted and looked at the girl. “Uhhh hi. You must be Josie. I've heard so much about you”. John turned to the young girl and offered his hand, josie just looked at it giving him a disgusted look, instead turning to her mother. “You're late” josie said sternly. It was as if y/n was her daughter, coming back past curfew. y/n was so embarrassed about the rudeness her daughter was displaying, this wasn't how she had raised her.

Moving to stand next to her daughter, y/n patted the top of josie's blonde hair in a way which warned josie that she was being rude and that she would be in trouble if she didn't at least pretend to be nice. “JJ dont you have anything to say to john?” y/n spoke with a tone that josie knew was her strict voice. Josie turned to john before sighing, she didn't want  to upset her mum. “Ive….. heard of you” she spoke as if the words were venom in her mouth before she turned and stormed off into the living room. y/n turned to john and looked at him apologetically. “Im sorry. She doesn't really like me dating, i'm going to talk to her. She just needs to grow up.`` John just smiled understanding what the girl must have been going through. “Kids are hard. She’s just looking out for you. Don’t worry about it and don’t be too harsh on her. I’ll call you tomorrow” john gave y/n one last kiss before walking off to the car, taking one last glance at her before he drove off.

y/n walked into the house, following after josie before finding her sitting on the floor holding a picture of her dad, tears streaming down her face. “JJ?” y/n called walking slowly over to the young girl on the floor. She crouched and josie wiped the tears from her face. “What's wrong?” josie just ignored her and y/ns sat next to her properly pulling her into a hug and josie just burst into tears and y/n stroked her hair waiting for the girl to calm down before she was able to tell her why she was crying.

Once her tears slowed, y/n moved josie to look at her. “Are you ready to tell me why you're so upset?” josie nodded and looked at her fathers picture, a single tear falling onto the glass. “ I miss dad so much” she mumbled and y/n felt the tears in her eyes as well. People said time was a good healer but it still hurt so much. “I miss him to JJ” y/n’s voice cracked and josie looked at her before continuing. “ mum. I don't want you to replace dad. I don't want you to forget about him” y/n was shocked that her daughter would think this. “Is this why you don’t like me dating? Why you don’t like john?” josie nodded and y/n pulled her in for a hug. “JJ i would never even dream of replacing him. He holds a very special place in my heart but so does john. I love him” josie pushed her mum away in anger. “ YOU ARE REPLACING HIM. YOURE TRYING TO REPLACE DAD WITH JOHN. HOW COULD YOU.” josie stood up and stormed off. She had misunderstood what y/n meant and rushed to her own conclusion. “that's not what i-” y/n couldn't even finish her sentence as josie ran to her room, slamming the door behind her. Standing up, y/n looked at the picture of her late husband. “You were always so much better at this than I was” she closed her eyes and held the picture to her chest before placing back in its spot on the mantelpiece.

Walking towards josie's room, josie’s words raced around her head. She knew what she must do in order to make her daughter happy even if it meant her own happiness was neglected. y/n knocked on the door and waited for a response that never came. Opening the door she was met with josie curled up on her bed, a soft “go away” fell from the girls lips. y/n ignored her and walked over to sit next to her, stroking her hair she began to speak. “JJ i love you so much and I think you’re right” y/n sighed hating what her next words would be. She closed her eyes before continuing. “in the morning I will call john and end things. I will stop seeing him”. A tear fell from her eye and josie sat up, suddenly feeling guilty. This is what she wanted all along, but why didn't she feel happy? “Mum-” y/n held up her hand and gave a weak smile, brushing off any attempts of josie trying to reassure her. “I think it's time you went to bed.” and y/n left the room making her way towards her own bed. “My own happiness doesn't matter as long as JJ’s happy” she whispered to herself, trying to justify her decision.

It was 4am and y/n was awoken by the ringing of her phone. She opened her eyes and grabbed her phone, holding it to her ear. “Hello?” y/n asked not even bothering to read the caller id, her sister's voice soon echoed through the other end of the line “oh God y/n i need help. There's been an accident with mum. You need to get here now” y/n bolted up as she began to panic. She didn't need this right now. y/n ran to gather things before running into josie's room but she soon stopped. She didn't want to upset the girl with news that her grandmother was hurt. “What should I do?” she whispered to herself contemplating various options, she didn't have friends close enough to leave her with and other family members were to far away. There was only one person left. Sighing she began to wake josie up. “JJ wake up” the girl mumbled in her sleep before waking up. “mum? What's wrong?” the girl sat up. “Um, there's been an accident at work and I need to go and attend to it. Im begging you to just go along with my plan and I will make it up to you” the girl nodded “ im going to take you to John’s-” thats all the girl needed before she started to yell and y/n grew impatient and annoyed, she wasn't one to normally argue with her daughter. In Fact she was normally very calm and lenient, but she didn't have time to play games . “JOSIE I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS” y/n shouted, scaring Josie a little. “Please” she whispered and josie just nodded, knowing when her mum was being serious and began to get dressed.

10 minutes later and y/n was knocking on the johns front door. She had been there a few times before but his house still amazed her. A sleepy john opened the door, stood in some baggy tracksuit bottoms and a white shirt, john looked adorable. His hair was messy and he rubbed his eyes, if under any other circumstances, y/n would have swooned at how good he looked. “y/n? What's wrong?” John asked, concerned laced his voice. Who wouldn’t be concerned when their girlfriend suddenly appeared at their front door at God knows what time. “there's been an incident, im so sorry to ask you to do this, but do you mind watching Josie for me? It will only be for a few hours I promise” she quickly explained and john looked down at the girl who didn't make any eye contact, instead she stood with her arms crossed. John nodded “sure, absolutely.” he smiled and y/n turned to josie “ be nice” y/n said kissing her head and josie just nodded. “Thank you” y/n mouthed to john and ran off to go to her mother's house.

Stepping aside, he invited josie inside. “Umm it's nice to finally meet you JJ” josie gave john an angered look as she walked inside “only my mum gets to call me that” she snapped and john held up his hands in defence “sorry. Umm do you want anything to eat? Drink?” josie shook her head, instead she just walked into the living room and sat on the sofa. She didn't want to admit it but johns house was massive and beautifully designed. She looked at the photos on the wall and stopped on one. It was john with another woman and she felt angry. “Whos the women john? I thought you loved my mum” she spoke in a sarcastic tone and John looked at the picture the girl was talking about. “Ohhh shes my wife. Well she's dead now actually” josie suddenly felt guilty. “Oh im sorry” she said quietly “don't be. You're just worrying for your mum.” josie sat there for a moment longer before speaking “how did she die?” John sat next to her and leaned back “well she got sick and it eventually became too much for her to handle. It was the hardest time of my life, but ive had time to heal ``. he looked down and it was obvious it still hurt him. Jossie knew the pain he felt. “ my dad died at war” it was her turn to look down and her heart ached. Looking up she saw a few more pictures on the coffee table of him and a women, except this time it was pictures of john and y/n. Picking up one of them she looked over it, she had never seen this photo before. In the photo, y/n smiled looking at the camera and john was behind her pulling a silly face. She hadn't seen her mum look that happy for so long and she felt herself smile at the picture. She turned to John who was also looking at the picture. She was about to say something but a movement in the hallway caught her eye. A dog came running in barking and rushed over to the girl. “OH MY GOD YOU HAVE A DOG?????”. Josie screamed in excitement and began to fuss the animal. “What's his name?” she asked looking up at john “dog” he replied dead pan and josie just laughed. “That's a stupid name. Mum wont let me have a dog” she pouted, causing John to smile. He looked at the girl as she played with the dog, she looked exactly like her mother and her smile was the same. John had never had the chance to have his own child and he felt a small ache in his heart.

Not wanting to face the pain, he looked at the clock and it read 6am “there's no point in going back to bed now. Ummm do you want to watch some tv?” John asked and josie noddeed. John turned to the tv and went straight to the horror channel forgetting about the young girl next to him. He hated to admit it but he loved horror films. “You like horror films?” josie said shocked and john looked at the girl suddenly remembering her presence. “Oh, sorry. We can watch cartoons instead” jossie shook her head “nonononon i looooovvvvvvveeeee horror films. Mum never lets me watch them” john laughed at y/ns concern imagining how overprotective she was. “Its because she cares about you a lot.” jossie looked down at her hands. She had only been around john for about and hour and she finally understood why her mum had fallen in love with the man. He was kind, considerate, he loved animals and was one of the only men who didn't run away from y/n the second they found out she had a daughter. Josie had also realised just how much they had in common. Maybe jossie had grew up suddenly or maybe she had actually begun to liked john but Josie sighed and turned to john. “How much do you love my mum?” she asked quietly and john looked up smiling “I love her a lot. She has made me so happy and I don't think I could manage without her now. She's beautiful and full of life. You’re a lot like her actualy” he looked at jossie and saw the guilt in her eyes. “Why do you ask?” jossie fell to knees suddenly and began to apologise. John was confused and stopped her “why are you apologising” josie wiped away a tear and began to tell him the truth. “I'm so sorry. When you left last night me and mum argued and I told her that I didn't want you to replace my dad and she must have felt guilty because she said that she would end things with you in the morning” she watched at sadness took over John's face and she suddenly stood up causing John to jump “wait. I have an idea.” josie spoke excitedly pulling a wicked smile as she hatched a plan. “Should I be scared? Your mum pulls the same face when she suddenly gets a weird idea” john laughed as josie began to explain her plan.

5pm and y/n was finally back from her mother's house, thankfully it was nothing serious and y/n was ready to pick up Josie and to go home. Walking up to the front door, y/n found a note waiting for her on the doorbell. She read the words carefully

‘y/n

Come to the garden for a special surprise

J & J’

Y/N was confused but smiled at the little note and made her was to the garden. As she walked around the side of the house, Dog came running  up to her with a small bow tie on and another note. She stroked the dog “what on earth is going on?” she asked the dog as he barked and she read the note. ‘Hello y/n. I am your waiter for the evening. Please follow me to your table’ and as if the dog knew, he ran off to the garden. As she walked around the corner, y/n gasped. Fairy lights were hung across the trees and illuminated the garden as the sun was setting. A small blanket was hung between two trees and a small projector connected to a laptop was set up. A picnic blanket laid across the grass with a hamper set up. “John? JJ?” she called as she struggled to contain the smile that spread across her face at the scene in front of her. “Welcome home” johns deep voice called from behind her. It was like smooth honey to her ears.  y/n spun around and saw john stood there in his jeans and a shirt. He looked stunning. “John what is all this?” she asked and he smiled “ well josie explained the little argument you guys had and she had the idea to do this to make up for it. This was all her idea. I couldn't have done this without her” y/n looked down as the young girl stepped out from behind john. “Josie?” she asked and the girl smiled weakly. “Surprise” she said and y/n walked over to her “mum i just wanted to apologise. I shouldn't have gotten in the way of your happiness. I was being so childish and stupid that i didnt see how good john was for you. John will never replace dad and im ready to accept him into the family.” josie grabbed her mums hand and placed it into john's hand. y/n cried and turned to josie. “JJ i don’t know what to say. Thank you” she kissed her daughter on the cheek and john began to pull y/n over to the picnic whilst josie stayed behind with dog.  John stopped half way and turned to face the girl “you coming?”. Josie laughed and ran over to the two “call me JJ john” she said as she hugged her mother's side. y/n gave John a shocked look at the girls desire for john to call her the nickname that only she had ever called her by. John looked just as shocked.

Eventually josie had fallen asleep on the picnic blanket as she cuddled up to Dog. John and y/n hugged as the film they were watching finished. “What have you done to my real daughter?” y/n joked as she looked up at john and he just shrugged “ I did nothing”. She leaned up and kissed john passionately “well im happy thats shes happy. And im happy I have you. I love you” she whispered leaning against his shoulder and he looked down at the scene in front of him “I love you too” he said kissing the top of her head.  John had finally got his little family and josie had finally accepted the man her mother loved. It was as if the world had fallen into place for all three of them.

The end

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