#and just. getting rest and time away helped. and realizing that its okay to accomodate myself some with it and not have things like

[virtuousvigil]

mini upd8

dropping two more fics on ao3 today before the deadline for bottom jayce week fully hits. Wanting Wrapped in Red will be uploaded as complete, but the other is a WIP that i should have done in about 2-3 weeks. (lowkey hoping no one really checks it out until it's done LMAO) then i'm gonna take next week off from socials/writing, cause i am burnt out from cramming all these fics in a month while also starting school again & dealing with health things. after that break it's back to getting AMSATASM chapters ready! i'm making the executive decision that i'm not gonna participate in any more events until the hurt/comfort week in october; that way i have time to prep and don't fall into the negative feedback loop i hit while trying to push out all these bjw entries. maybe next year i'll try my hand at joining some zines, but for now i want to pace myself and invest in more personal projects/perfecting AMSATASM.

thank you to everyone who's shared, supported, left kudos/comments/bookmarked everything i submitted so far! the reception has been incredible. i realized today that my stats on ao3 nearly tripled between hark the herald angel sings & the premise of promise, alongside the extra traction AMSATASM has gotten. we're almost to 1.5k hits on AMSATASM and you guys have pushed me over to almost 100 total bookmarks, which is absolutely insane to me since i only started posting what... three months ago? i think?

big fat forehead kisses all around. i'll make a post later when wanting wrapped in red is ready :)

[marinetteplztakeabreak]

I need to share soft sign language buddies ninogami headcanon because they’re taking over my brain always:

(This got so long, so youre welcome if youre also starved for ninogami content)

Nino’s mom is Deaf , so he grew up signing as much as speaking. When he was younger he always signed as he talked.

It turned out he’s also Hard of Hearing, so sign language is way easier for him to understand most of the time.

However, though he’s great at making friends, he’s very awkward when it comes to talking about himself. So never comes up in conversation.

It’s not a self-deprication issue. It’s just a “thinking of things to say is hard and I’d rather have someone else do the talking” thing. He’d rather talk about anyone except himself.

Additionally! He’s great at helping other people, but he’s terrible at asking for help. He does not EVER want to be like “hey i cant understand what you’re saying, my ears dont work great,” its his worst nightmare

And it doesnt help that there have been a few cases of people being rude about it when he doesnt hear them after they repeat themselves. And possibly worse, there have been even more cases of people giving over-the-top apologies instead of just,, telling him what they said. So it’s not worth the trouble in his mind

with his few close friends who still dont know, it feels like its too late and it’d be awkward to bring it up, so he just… doesnt. He’s procrastinating on telling them he cant hear them

He stopped signing as much as he talked in middle school because strangers would always be like “woah thats so cool, how do you know sign language” and he’d just panic because he was an awkward tween, and he didnt know if he was comfortable telling them he was HoH, but ALSO just saying his mom was Deaf and not mentioning himself felt like directly lying by hiding information, so he just took the “lazy” way out and signed less in public.

Sometimes fighting the anxiety was not worth it so he just let it win in that case.

Nino is so nice and energetic and loves people, but he is way more introverted and anxious than his friends think.

But when they start to get closer, Kagami who is ever-observant, notices him signing a little bit, (not ever to her, not ever on purpose, but he’d sometimes sign a word he needed to remember while speaking or sign along to emphasize something)

and she luckily for his anxiety, she doesnt know how to have a normal conversation either.

Her (platonic as well as romantic) love language is studying and research, and Nino seems very cool and she likes him, even if she is awful at holding a conversation with him or doing anything to show it.

She thinks he’s so cool and such an amazing talented kind friend. She has so much love for him that she doesnt know what to do with it. So she channels that energy into learning to sign through the internet and whatever tools she can find

And then after a while of this, she’s like “oh no, he’s gonna think that’s so creepy, I cant tell him I know sign language or he’ll be so uncomfortable”

So, like a whole idiot, she hides that she’s learning sign language from anyone. Because OBVIOUSLY if word got back to Nino, he’d assume it was because of him and that she was a weirdo he shouldn’t be friends with

But also Kagami accidentally falls in love with sign language because she has undiagnosed autism. She always assumed that communicating was just going to be impossible no matter what, but as she gets proficient in sign language she’s like,,, oh,,, OH,, this is very nice

Even just signing while she talks makes it so much easier to keep words and sentances straight, but she only does it when she’s alone with her mother, who is literally blind and would never know.

They become closer friends in late high school, and by that time a lot of Nino’s anxiety has worn off and he’s become completely comfortable letting teachers know when he needs to hear somthing, and middle school feels like a distant dream

At some point, Nino invites Kagami to his house a few times, and he signs with his mom. Nino is like “I can interpret for you,” and Kagami is like “wow thanks, I’m so lucky, because I obviously do not know any sign language, why would I have learned it, and also for the record it is brand new information to me that you can sign,” and Nino is like “cool? Its not a secret but im glad i told you if you somehow didnt already know,” and Kagami is like, “yep :)”

But then eventually as they become really close, they are texting one night, (Kagami can still barely get out of her house, so they need to communicate remotely. And both of then HATE phone calls bc its so hard to understand whats happening, but neither of them have admitted this to anyone)

Nino admits that he likes using sign language better than talking, and he wishes he could use it with his friends, but he’d feel so guilty asking them to learn an entire language just to make him slightly more comfortable. He can talk and hear OKAY so he shouldnt put the pressure on them.

and Kagami is like “you could always ask, worst case scenerio they say no, and i dont think thats an unreasonable demand” and nino is like “it is though,” and kagami’s like “ok so haha funny story, please dont hate me” and nino is like, “…what.” And kagami confesses everything and nino is like “why… why would i hate you for that?” And Kagami is like “oh wait youre right im stupid,”

And then Nino’s also like “hey if YOURE more comfortable signing too, then why dont YOU ask your friends to sign for you. Do you see what i mean? It’s hard to ask-” and kagami is like, “as your friend i will prove it is not.”

So then Kagami ends up confronting Adrien and Marinette the next day and is like “Hi. This is a sign language dictionary. Learn from it.” And they’re both like “what?” And she’s like “oh wait sorry. Backing up. I’m autistic. I decided like three years ago. Forgot to tell you. And I need you to learn to sign a little bit so you can understand if i sign something at you. If you want, of course. Please :D.” And theyre like “ok sure yeah i can do that.”

(Theyve already learned and accepted that shes extremely direct in asking for things)

So then she texts nino and is like “i did it. Youre welcome.”

But anyway both of them are uncomfortable in crowds and parties: Nino cant hear anyone and Kagami tends to get sensory overload, so they start signing mostly in those situations, and then it starts to sink in that they’re allowed to sign whenever and that the other really IS also comfortable with it.

(Both of them are much more willing to make sacrifices for others than to try something new and intimidating for themself, so this is the perfect situation to trick them into getting out of their comfort zone, ironically by trying to be more comfortable in the long run)

so they will just sit together and hang out and have long conversations while just chilling somewhere in a park or at cafes or whatever. Both of them become chattier than they’ve ever been because talking and understanding is so much easier, and its addicting

And their close friends all become proficient enough in sign language to have simple conversations.

But also Nino and Kagami start sitting together automatically even in group hangouts, and they start hanging out more with just the two of them, and soon neither of them feel bad about asking to hang out in quieter places, because they can justify it knowing that it will also help the other one, and together that makes both of them also more comfortable asking for little accomodations from other friends, if only to prove to the other that they can do it too.

And Kagami has the lesser-known autism side effect where she makes WAY TOO MUCH eye contact. She’s aware of it but that doesnt make it go away. Normally she feels so awkward about it, and overthinks her gaze because she doesnt want to scare people away. But when signing, you literally HAVE to be watching the other person constantly, so she has an excuse to just be herself, and its so relieving

(and also its kind of fun to look at Nino anyway because he can get so animated and his smile is really nice and oh no she is in love a little bit)

And Nino always struggles because he emotionally ALWAYS needs to be the nice polite one. His anxiety sometimes gets the better of him and he’s constantly worried about sending the wrong signals to his friends and coming off as rude somehow. But with Kagami, he can literally just ask?? And she will tell him her honest opinion without making it weird. And its so comfy and so good and he really loves hearing her unfiltered opinions on so many things because she sees the world in such a unique way and she gets so passionate about such little things and then oh no, he is fallen for her before he can realize it

And they also learn that they’re both artists, they both love to just observe the world because even if they;re awkward, people are actually pretty great most of the time, and its fun to observe them and try to capture the world, and they just sit together and sketch, or they watch each other sketch, and the thing is, both of them draw ONLY FOR THEMSELVES, its not a ‘skill,’ and they don;t want it to be, its just private art for relaxation. Somehow, though, its okay if they share their art with each other. They can just sit in comfortable silence for hours while one of them sketches something and the other watches patiently

And they start to get more comfortable with one of their heads resting on the other’s shoulder as they watch them doodle, and sitting so close their legs press together, and soon enough their hands start brushing against each other’s as they walk next to each other and then all of a sudden they’re casually holding hands whenever they’re not signing because it’s nice

They try to share headphones so Nino can share some of his favorite songs and his compositions with Kagami. But try as she might, Kagami can not handle the sensory of only having one earbud in. Nino knows her tells by that point, and he’s not about to let her suffer for a stupid reason, but she REALLY does want to hear his music. They somehow end up with Kagami putting a pair of headphones around her neck and turning up the volume a little bit so she can hear, while Nino rests his head on her shoulder so he can hear just enough to know where she is in the song

And then he has to sit up and scootch away just enough to see her hands so they can talk about it, and they both pretend not to notice how nice it was to snuggle as they sign. Its fine, though, because now they get the excuse to just look at each other again and sign overdramatically with exaggerated facial expressions, and no one else around can overhear their conversation, and Nino likes to go a little over the top when signing onomatopoeia and acting out particular parts of the song rhythm that he likes, and Kagami laughs, and they both mentally save the image of each other in this moment the same way that they look at reference images for artwork, memorizing the lines of each movement and the things that make each smile unique,

and Nino also shows up at every single one of her fencing tournaments, and he sits as close as he can and signs encouraging messages to her from the crowd whenever she’s not actively competing, (that her blind mom can never catch, which is somewhat of a bonus to Kagami, because every element of their friendship that her mother cant interact with makes this more personal and special and HERS). Every little sign she sends back at him, even a simple thank you, always feels so good and rebellious and free because shes supposed to be focusing on fencing but shes deciding to care more about friendship. And even if she’s expected to leave immediately afterword, she’ll find every excuse possible to find him and give him a hug, which he’ll always accept even though she jokingly warns him shes sweaty and gross

And eventually they are special best friends and it brings them instant joy to see each other and theyre able to interact for no reason other than that they want to and like each other

(And then they kiss)

[icharchivist]

I was rewatching DGM hallow and I remembered that Lavi and Bookman occasionally engage in telepathic conversations. How come I've never seen this talked about more in all the years I've been in this fandom? This is really weird. Even most of the Noahs think it's weird/creepy when someone reads their thoughts/talks in their head. The more I think about the Bookman the creepier they get. I'm not implying they're evil. Just really weird. 1) Telepathic w/each other. 2) Not only against attachments-

2 but against having a heart (not even the past Jedi at their most radical taught padawans to not feel anything). 3) If Bookman and Lavi are the standard then they either think they're above humanity or hate humans or or just indifferent. 4) they have SO many secrets that they keep to themselves no matter what. 5) they will never feel loyalty for anyone/thing that doesn't further their own ambition and even then they can easily drop you like you mean nothing to them. 5) They routinely erase-

3 each other's minds and none of them remember their birth names. 6) they swap identities so many times their own growth as individuals is trivial. 7) Ever single (possible) bookman we have met has either exhibited creepy or hostile behaviour. 8) they take to neutrality so strongly you can question if they even think to care what will happen to them if the Earl's plans succeed. 9) Are they even self aware? I'm not expecting a complete disaster. But I am expecting the bookman to weird me out.

Okay so for the telepathy i will have to come back to it when i will re-read it bc i don’t really remember it in Hallow and I think the scene I think should be that one??? Is the fact that ii’m almost certain i remember it being confirmed that Lavi and Bookman talk a whole other language. Apparently the Bookmen would have had their own language and I think i remember that in the manga it was translated by having weird bubbles to specify they were talking in that language (and it is possible that, due to the fact the anime couldn’t just pull a new language that was a work around to still have one of their Bookmen conversation being visible using telepathy).

But i really don’t remember the scene in question in details so i will have to check that out again but I THINK it is Bookman Language related more than telepathy and that the telepathy was a way for the anime to translate it

THAT SAID if the idea of Telepathy is a thing (which tbh could still be??? Bookmen already messes with minds a lot with the whole deleting memories thing who knows the hell they can do) it could explain also a lot of much more silent looks that we kinda justified so far by “they know something we don’t”. It might have been conversations we missed. 

Still unsure though i’ll get back to that when i will properly have re-read those parts bc this is really intruiguing me now

I know the fandom had talked about the Bookman’s language though but i’ve never heard of telepathy before now?? Idk 

And yeah like you say this is very weird bc putting them on the same level as Wisely is... very weird. Besides considering how much Lavi still struggles to get people around him i am fairly certain that if telepathy there are it i between the Bookmen only, not all knowing as Wisely.

But yeah aside from that, mood. The Bookmen are seriously a creepy brunch. Not in a bad way, but in a “this is extremely shady and I get you’re doing that to be neutral but i’m not sure those means are actually legally or morally applicable”

I agree with all your points. 

and i’ll elaborate under cut bc i might have gone carried away,

well 1) i just discussed it there, either Telepathy which would be a whole new can of worm, or a whole other language that would still applies that they have a special language to keep secrets in. And tbh it would also make sense that they would write down records in a secret language since they don’t actually let people Read their reccordings: Bookman specify that it comes with the part to “chat a lot”, they won’t share the written reccords (which they MUST HAVE for the the survival of the clan), so “Secret Language no one else in the world know” rings as shady to me.

4) NOT TO MENTION we know that Bookman also keeps secrets from Lavi (when meeting Cross’s altered akuma, Bookman specifies it was only something he (and Cross) knew about.). And it’s not to mention secrets that the Bookman in charge keeps from the rest of the Clan (see again, how Lavi’s eye is only known by Bookman Sr, not anyone else in the clan seems aware of that)

6) Apparently about their switching identities, something very creepy that came out of the latest Komui corner too is that the name they have during a war is the name that the recording will officially get. Meaning it’s not even that “Lavi” calls himself like that for the people around him, it’s that even after Jr would have moved on or died or anything, the Records of the Holy War would still be called “Lavi”. And we know that the names picked seems to have meaning that applies to each wars (as Wisely smugly smile realizing Lavi’s name’s meaning, but doesn’t tell people). So even more of a disconnect with their sense of humanity since they have to be distanced from their own names, as their names become history as it goes. Which makes Jr’s identity crisis over how “Lavi” is “him” even more creepy tbh, bc it extends that “Lavi” isn’t just a reccord name anymore, it is not just the Holy War anymore, it is part of Jr as a BEING. And to me that’s even creepier that it’s even something Lavi has to worry about.

8) this is honestly one of my biggest questions. If the Earl’s plans work, all humanity will die. Or at least there had been no mention so far of any “saved people that would go through the Ark”. (there had been speculations about the real purpose of the Akuma and how its evolution process would be perhaps a part in creating supperior beings to salvage during the Flood like the original Ark did, and i’ll need to get back to the chapters tha thints that there are more secrets to the Dark Matter than it just reversing the innocence, BUT personally I have issues with this theory because of how easily the Noah do torture and kill the Akuma at times and seem to look down on them. But I would agree there seems to be a bigger purpose to the Akuma and the Dark Matter that we cannot even imagine.)Regardless, I don’t see anyway for the Bookmen Clan to survive, else the Noah would have found way to keep them on their sides and not torture them like they do now and exclude them. Yet we know at some points the Bookmen were “on the Noah’s side”. So what the hell do the Bookmen expect to happen with the Flood? Is their neutrality so important that they are ready to litteraly go down with this ship when the end of the world come? Yet we know they have some self preservating instinct it seems, so why? It just enerves me so much!

9) Yeah same, basically.

One last thing i will add: How the HELL did Bookman manage to find himself and Lavi innocences he knew they would be accomodator to when they decided to join the Order? Bc the Corner mentions that Bookman decided to set them into the Order to watch BEFORE they even got in contact with the innocences, and Lavi mentions that “Gramps just knew we’ll find innocences we would be compatible with” and how????? How the hell??? You can’t just make it that easy for the two of them to randomly connect with two random innocences (and we know they’re the one who have shown the least actual connection with the innocence) after arcs and arcs proving that the innocence is picky and sentient, that its own personality affects who they end up picking, that even the synch can change depending of how the innocence feel to their acomodator, and Especially, that the Order had DECADES of experimentations that were basic human rights violation due to how desperate they were to not be able to have enough people synchronizing with the innocence.

You  cannot have a full arc of telling us the Order did an entiere experiment about bringing fallen exorcists’s brains back in new bodies in hope the innocence would synch with said bodies, while letting those bodies decay under the pain of the innocence, for the sLIGHT CHANCE an innocence could be compatible again, only to then tell us “oh yeah we wanted to join the order so we ended up finding two innocences that we could connect to.”

For exemple: Take the Crows. it’s obvious the Crows want to help the holy war, as the Third Exorcist project proved a whole brunch of people were ready to put Dark Matter in their body to fight back the Akuma. And from all those Crows, from all the experiments we know the Order have carried on, somehow, as long as we don’t know of a “Former Crow Exorcist”, it means it’s not that easy. Not when you have a whole military branch who would be willing to be God’s apostles. And it’s not even counting how others Orders’s soldiers like the Finders would or not jump on the occasion.

So how the hell did they do that? How the hell did Bookman find those? bc even if they don’t connect to their innocence on an emotional level, they seem like proper innocence. Else Allen would have commented about how the souls don’t disappear like planned, like when he saw how the Third Exorcists killed the Akuma. Besides, we also know Bookman fears Lavi’s innocence could turn into a crystal type, so it confirms this is legit innocence, and that Bookman doesn’t have full controle over it.

How could Bookman be so sure they will become accomodator BEFORE finding any innocences? It raises seriously worrying implications considering all we know about the innocence and how hard it is to find accomodators for it this far in the saga. 

*take s a deep breath* anyway that said,

tbh part of me understand the feeling of “wanting to disconnect your feelings” when you watch history happens, because history is goddamn overwhelming. For having studied history for a few years i’ve personally had a few breakdown just over thinking about the amounts of horrors you read about one year after the other, so to have to remember all those horrors AND reccord current horrors, I understand in principle the thought that shutting those emotions down is the easiest way to record it. 

In principle.

Because in practice this is (a lot like you compared) nearly impossible witout losing their humanity and even losing perhaps an important part of how to understand and translate human experiences through emotional lenses. That’s the major issue with this logic.

had they done that for so long they don’t even question it? Or are they perfectly aware that it’s exactly why they cannot afford emotions? what are their view on the world and it coming to an end? How far are they willing to go in order to keep their own secrecy and status squo? Do they even realize the possible irony of them “not meedling with history” while the only fact that they are meddling by taking the dispositions they do to remain hidden/uninvolved? Not to mention that wanting it or not, Bookman and Lavi had meddled in the Holy War. Would they remain fully neutral, Bookman wouldn’t have had to tell everything he knew about the Noah to Komui in his first appearance for exemple. 

Lately it seems like they seem more interested in the Noah losing (self preservation kicking in) but that does raise the question of how far they are willing to share the secret history and how much is considered “medding with history”? Because this “secret knowledge no one should have” IS changing the course of history by being shared.

Do they even realize or do they really see themselves as walking books who can deliver information if pressed a the condition it doesn’t require to dig in their secrets? Where do they draw the lines?

I have HUNDREDS of questions about the Bookmen and it drives me insane. I won’t exclude that i might be overthinking it bc man, gotta wait between chapters huh, and that perhaps it won’t be that complicated or deep, but the more you get to see how shady the Bookmen are the more you wonder how and why?

Anyway that fascinates me. Bookmen pls unlock your secrets,,

[goddessofphilosophy]

The Opening of the National 9/11 Memorial & Museum was a success. Visitors flocked from all over the country. There were a lot of millenials who were admiring the exquisite works of art depicting the terrorist attack that robbed some lives, fifteen years ago. The New York Times didn't miss how Andréas empathized with the survivors. He even called Hyacinth on the stage and introduced her as the biggest influence in his life who made him a better person simply by loving him right. She was extremely delighted at his bold declaration of affection in front of an audience, it was the first time. She kissed his cheek and this was the photo in the headline of the newspaper the next day, in a special edition. Hyacinth has taken cared of their family's publicities by controlling the media. She was after all the Chief Operating Officer of The New York Times. This helped them maintain their social status and protect their secret. Any of her family members was never under the scrutiny of the public eye. And this is how they have managed to live peacefully in New York City. A few celebrities and politicians tarried to exhange pleasantries with them. Some are Hyacinth's clients when she was still a full-time attorney at the law firm, before she passed on the leadership position to Leah. There were also business partners of the Houghton Enterprise and Descartes Corporation. They were all glad the proceeds will be donated to charity. Druella, Astoria, and Amberleighn were too busy with Fashion Week and never had the luxury of time to take even just a glimpse of the artworks. Keeva dropped by on the fourth day, congratulated her parents and updated them about the whereabouts of their grandkids. Later that day, Annicka freshly arrived from the airport and brought Japanese goodies. The Descartes-Houghton couple had to excuse themselves and go home early in order for Annicka to rest. On their way back to the Descartes Mansion, Hyacinth received an e-mail from Andrei, her youngest son. Andrei Heinrich is currently finishing his degree in Psychology in Harvard University located in Cambridge, Massachussets. He is a bright kid, graduating this semester, after only three years. There was no need to hurry but he was so excited to take Masters and Doctorate degrees while practicing his profession. And she was way too supportive in acheiving his dreams. Andrei: Hey Mom! Thanks for arranging our accomodation at The Ritz Paris. You're the best! Our flight's tomorrow afternoon. I know you're too busy, don't surprise me at the airport. THAT IS UNNECESSARY. It's funny I don't miss Paris at all. How many years has it been since we left? And oh yeah, how was it being the curator at the 9/11 memorial museum? Haha! Just kidding! Tell pops I'm proud of him. Love you both. She read it silently and asked herself the same question: How many years has it been since they left? How many years had passed since he returned in their lives? How many years had gone since she sold that apartment full of Andrei's childhood memories? She never came back to Paris. She wants to forget what happened in Paris. Andi realized her change in demeanor, "Who was it?" She needed to repress her emotions, "Oh it's Andrei. He said he's proud of you," and smiled. "So is he coming to visit on Friday after his class?" "I don't think so," she responded leisurely. Before he can ask why, they were already home. Fortunately or unfortunately, she didn't have to explain ... yet. Annicka went straight to her room and reminded them to wake her up for dinner, "I've been missing family dinners for such a long time!" She had three hours to sleep. It was too early to retire but Hyacinth wasn't feeling well. She also went straight to bed after kicking off her shoes. She decided to send a reply to her son. Hyacinth: No worries, not coming at the airport, you spoiled brat! Never knew being a curator is so much fun! Are you sure you don't want to drop by and see the paintings for yourself? Enjoy your weekend at Paris! Call me when you get there. Missing you! We love you too! xx After checking her other notifications, she placed the phone in her bedside drawer. She was staring at the elegant ceiling when Andi laid beside her. The silence was defeaning yet comforting. He stretched his arm to cuddle and kissed her shoulder. Then he whispered, "Thank you." He wanted to say more. He wanted to say thank you for supporting him in this project, for understanding the nature of his work, for patiently waiting for him to come back home, for giving him another chance, and for giving him a wonderful family. Truthfully, the list is endless. "No, thank you," she responded fervently. "You were saying Andrei won't be able to come and visit, why?" "He's going to Paris this weekend," she stated, a little bit worried because Andrei is such a playboy. "Why is he going to Paris though?" "I honestly don't know but that's the trend nowadays: millenials exploring the world." "Alright. It's good he wants to see the world like you do. But who's he with?" "With his friends, I guess." "Where is he staying?" "At The Ritz, I've booked their rooms." "Doesn't he want to stay at your apartment there? Where he grew up?" That was it. She was done entertaining his questions. He didn't know she sold the property. She remembered the last night she was in Paris with a six-year old Andrei. Hyacinth loved Paris the most. She had countless happy memories of his father in its lovely streets. Nothing compared to the magnificence of Paris, not Madrid or Prague or Amsterdam or London. She loved the gothic churches and the legends behind their names. She loved the museum and the rich culture they hold dear. She loved the history of the courageous people inhabiting the city, how they fought for liberty. She used to love Paris more than anything in this world. And that love was tainted with misery when she returned with a baby inside her womb, fatherless. Andrei was frustrated they had to move, "Why are we going to New York City, Mommy?" She was restless, "To see your father." "But why can't he come here to see us?" She was taken back and stopped what she was doing. It was an innocent question from a little boy and she didn't know how to respond. "Come here," she instructed him. She hugged him tight and whispered, fighting back tears, "Because he can't." "But Mommy, he can't just be my father when it's convenient for him. So why did he abandon us? Why isn't he here with us? I have never seen him all my life. Is that how it works? He can leave and come back when he wants to? What if he leaves us again?" She was speechless. It was overwhelmingly heartbreaking to hear those words from her son. "Why don't you ask your son?" she snapped, walked away and slammed the door behind her. Andrèas was utterly shocked at her reaction. He tried to follow her but she was gone. She took her car with her but she forgot to bring her phone. Good thing she had spare shoes in her car. She went to the law firm and was greeted by one of the interns. She learned that Leah was still on a meeting so she decided to leave a note for her. Meet me at The Raines Law Room, it says. Urgent. While waiting for Leah, several men offered her drinks and struck a conversation. She was so used it: boys thinking she isn't married, without kids, still in college or recently joined the workforce. They were bewitched by her beauty. She politely turned down each one of them if they ask her to go somewhere else, "I can't, I'm waiting for somebody." After an hour, Leah finally arrived. "I have ten missed calls from Andi. What happened?" she asked, making it sound like Hyacinth did something wrong. "Stop accusing me of starting trouble in paradise for once," Hyacinth retorted. "Damn it, Cinth," she glared at her. "Just talk to him, okay? You are smarter than me, my goodness!" Hyacinth suddenly felt stupid she went to Leah but who else would she confide with? Of course, Andi knew all the possible places she might go to or all the people she would contact. They were both silent for a moment. Maybe she just needed time to think, Hyacinth thought. She requested for two glasses of white wine to the bartender and handed a glass to her friend, "Sometimes I wonder why I married him, despite his being away all the time." Leah sighed, she knew Hyacinth needed someone to listen, not comfort her or tell her what to do. "Sometimes I wonder if he's only doing those sweet gestures as an apology, to make up for all those years he was not around. Do you think he'd leave us again? Is he doing it on purpose? But why? It's just a matter of time, Leah. I better be prepared this time if one day he doesn't come back, right? All those years I asked myself if I failed to read the signs. I kept wondering what I did wrong. Am I not a good wife? "Sometimes I wonder if I made the right decision to take him back. I was fine in Paris with Andrei. I was damn fine on my own, without him. But my mother kept telling me how important family is. She's so traditional it's bothersome sometimes. I can't blame my mother though, after what he put me through, he was still the only person I loved so damn much. "Sometimes I wonder what if I aborted Andrei then? We won't have any reason to stay together. I can say to all our friends that our marriage failed. That we loved each other but it wasn't meant to be. That love was never enough and we couldn't make things work. That some things are meant to fail. And people like me can't have it all. "Sometimes I wonder if I should file a divorce. He would probably hire you as his lawyer. And Leah, remember this, that if you accept his demand, our friendship is over. I will take the law firm back. But then I see him with my siblings and my mother, how he respects them and think where would I get someone better than him?" It was not new to Leah that Hyacinth keeps on blabbing when she's so upset. Overthinking is her drug. She could practically finish a novel. "Are you done with your declamation piece? Here's your husband on the other line," she handed the phone to her. "Hello?" Silence. "Hello, love?" Silence. "Where are you?" She was both surprised and irritated he asked. "Love, please." No, she won't cry. "I can hear you breathing, please." She needed to stand her ground. "Talk to me, please." How does one stop the tears from falling, she thought. She did not want to say a word. She did not want him to know she was crying. "Just please come back home," he was pleading. And she did. She faintly smelled of alcohol but he didn't mind. "I prepared dinner, your favorite," he smiled sheepishly. She wanted to say she's sorry. She's sorry she can't forget the things she needed to forget when she kept forgetting where she put her glasses or her phone or her keys. She's sorry she's still afraid he'd leave them one day, for good. Also, she's sorry, no matter how trivial it is, that she doesn't know how to cook. But she didn't say a word and they both ate in awkward silence.

[les-bi-katamari]

SESSION 8

Bodies remaining around us: kid, two other bodies, one Herald corpse, one mook corpse, one undryad corpse. Bodies dragged into forest: sneak, two Heralds.

Brianne examines the Herald corpse. Lots of places where it’s shifted, transformed. Happened after death; not wounds, but its flesh struggling to keep up with its metamorphosis. Torso hollowed, less internal organs; ribcage grotesquely grown to accomodate muscles. Along spine and forelimbs, rows of metallic spikes growing out of it. These spikes are similar to the smaller spikes used for the dryad, but NOT the larger one, which was more intricate, shaped, gold inlay. Abyssal runes on them. (Note: the corpses in Ulthar’s tower did not have a big spike, only the Herald spikes.) Brianne reads the script: an abyssal prayer “We purify the weak, and rise in glory.” They all say the same thing. No discernable tool marks.

Brianne gets Ghorza to rip one of the spikes out, dripping with ichor. She then cuts it open to discover its bones are now the same metallic substance as the spikes. The bones are ALSO etched with Abyssal; it appears to say something else, but the ribs appear to be in the middle of something. She recruits ghorza again to help flay the flesh from its bones; Brianne fucks up during the autopsy and something bursts, releasing a nauseating scent of decay. She pukes (away from the body).

We eventually manage to peel off enough flesh from bone to get the gist. It reads like a religious text - mentions of Galaias, [her return from… entrapment? Somewhere.] The Herald is a walking unholy text, with prophecies etched into its bones. [With Primeval Awareness, Brianne detects more undead are in Mielikki’s Arbor, and six more suddenly appear there.]

Finally we go back inside to reunite with the cuddlepile.

Meanwhile, inside: Cadence is tending to Apphia’s near-mortal wounds, cleaning her etc. Kelsey anxiously asks if Apphia’s titties will be okay.

Megs, the only one who’s not preoccupied, talks to Juna alone. It turns out she knows the living bruiser, Valden Bray. (Gwen: “Can I roll insight to see if they fucked?” - Megs actually does but gets a 6 :P ). When she realizes he was one of the ones snooping in the barn, she charges in, grabs him by the collar, and demands an explanation while dangling him in the air.

He says he got mixed up in some bad shit, he needs food for his family and can’t lumberjack, so he signed up with the castle, but then it got ‘weird.’ He repeats that he was looking for the lens, sent on behalf of ‘someone above Brandt’.

Juna: “And so what, you were going to kill my family?! My parents, my siblings? Give me one good reason I shouldn’t burn you from the inside out!” (Kelsey: “Roll insight to see if they fucked!”) There’s another couple of the Vardanes, tall teenage boy and shorter girl, and Apphia and Cadence coming down now. Apphia DOES roll, and determines that they have made out but not fucked. Ghorza and Brianne come in now too. “I can’t believe this sniveling bastard sold out my family!”

He agrees to talk more; Juna lets him down, then decks him in the face again. He mentions the sneak was all about the ‘cause’ - says the people ‘holed up in Castle Aldessein’ are all weirdos. Mentions Martin, the bruiser we killed in the barn - Ghorza interjects “I think if you search your memory you’ll find he was killed by the zombies.” He mentions the margravine was more or less forced to leave by Brandt et al. The weirdos are part of some kind of cult, “Harbingers of the Dark Sun.”

Some of the group know of this cult - the cult of Cyric, triple-crowned king, god of lies and murder, whose followers are sometimes known for controlling the undead, binding them under their will. (Gwen: “Do you think someone would really do that? Just put on hats and tell lies?”)

Valden says there were services held in the dungeons at night. Carm was really into it. Carm and Nemeth run the show there. Brandt is a pawn they installed; Nemeth tells him what her superior wants and he makes it happen. The cult is everywhere - in all the marches and Isvanir - communicating with each other, keeping tabs on our movements, etc. The Margravine is being poisoned to keep her weak but alive.

Nemeth is apparently a tiefling too. Gold eyes, red hair, dark skin, horns, tail. Quiet, keeps to herself; doesn’t interact with the grunts much (Brandt does that). Looks like a warrior? Talks mostly to Brandt, Carm, the lieutenants sometimes.

Carm - the worst of all of them. Extremely creepy. Human. Keeps tabs on everyone. REAL into Cyric. Slight, pale, sandy brown hair, blue eyes. Coldest stare. Carm overheard another grunt talking about not being into Cyric; he disappeared and the altar got more bone decorations.

Cassath and Dresna - lieutenants. “Mostly just into each other” - no insight check needed, they’re fucking all the time; they’re probably fucking right now. Cassath is a high elf, from Isvanir. Light, short, messy brown hair. And she’s a witch? Scarred, burned hands (from acid). Cruel, but not really into Cyric. Dresna - half-orc, short black hair. She’s sneaky and creepy. Not as cruel as Carm, not really into Cyric; just there for Cassath.

Apphia knows of Cassath - an exiled criminal, from the slums where the Tarjanir refugees were. Ran a illicit alchemist shop, made acids. Made a lot of mayhem, was sentenced to be executed many years ago.

Ghorza knew of Dresna - she was in Vassarein’s army. Perennial bad example for the troops; didn’t play well with others. Robbed the armory and vanished.

Only one other person of importance, who Owen told us about, was the greasy, light-figured, shifty-looking guy who would swing by occasionally to deliver reports and talk to Nemeth and Brandt. No one who matched the description of Gulden, or the one Ulthor fought at the ruins.

Correspondence to Isvanir - maybe upstairs in the keep?

Albrecht - former castle guard. Erik knows him, recommends we talk to him. Dancing Dryad inn. Left when the cult took over.

Helene wants to get the family out of here, to safety. We decide that - after we burn the bodies - we’ll take the Vardanes into town and get them room in the inn. And Valden, we guess. Then we’ll rest up for the night.

We burn the Mortens (neighbors) and the herald and Martin (the bruiser). (Burned body count is up to 19).

We can now read some more of the remaining bones of the Herald, now that the flesh is burned up. [Brianne has heard some of these prophecies in her dream. Galaias returns under a sky of blood, upon a road of bone. She was sealed away on the Material Plane millenia ago. ‘From the ranks of her enemies, a spiteful soul will draw her forth.’]

Juna has a gift for Ghorza and Apphia, before we leave - she gives them a Ring of Necrotic Resistance and a Ring of Protection, and heartfelt hugs. It’s really gay!

We go into town - Cadence has shifted into a horse, and Megs and the kid ride her. Apphia is in the cart, being held in Juna’s strong arms. She gets the Cloak of Comforting.

Brianne, Apphia, Helene, Juna, and the kids check into the inn. Meanwhile, Eric takes Ghorza and Valden with to go find Albrecht. We’re rounding up a posse to save the people in the outskirts! Cadence stays a horse. She takes off on a run with Megs on her back.

The cost of putting up the Vardanes is 114. We split that five ways.

We find a stoic elven man with dark skin nursing a drink. Albrecht is Erik’s ex bf for sure. He perks up slightly when he sees Erik. He explains the situation with the undead attack. Albrecht toys with a dagger while looking at Valden, who admits he’s shit. Albrecht says he’ll round up his men. He also says he’ll put Valden to work helping to fix things once.

We discuss tactics on how to fight the things, that they should run away from the undryads if they see one. Ghorza tells Albrecht they’ll try to rescue the Margravine and reinstate her, which he fervently hopes they do.

Meanwhile, Cadence and Megs are out looking for flowers. They… find some weeds. They then try to go to Ghorza’s moms’ bakery, but forget it’s in a different city. Luckily, Megs has fantastic Investigation and finds an awesome bakery, and they get lots of pastries. They also get nice meals and wine to bring back to the party? So cute!

Imp: “And you brought us weed! Can I roll for how dank it is?”

Kelsey: “She needs to ride back in on me, looking dashing as fuck on the noble steed-” Lin: “Roll Charisma.” (Cadence rolls an 8, but at least Megs manages to roll a 22). Lin: “Peasant girls look out their windows, sighing, a merchant woman leans out of her booth and gives Megs the nod.”

Cadence fucks up and turns back before Meg dismounts, which spoils the effect a bit. Cadence druidcrafts the weeds into lovely flowers.

Ghorza gives Cadence a big hug and spins her around, and Cadence smiles for the first time that day. They share with the Vardanes too, and Juna hugs them as well. Megs redemption arc complete!

Lise and Armand - the Vardane kids. Lisse is like 7, Armande is 14.

We prepare to rest for the night. (Brianne buys our rooms. (It’s gay).) Tomorrow we storm the castle dungeons! Valden’s gonna be leading us in; we’ll put up the ruse that we’re on their side and Megs is bringing in the lens. Apphia will have the actual lens, and will show Valden the real lens as proof that we’ve had it all along. Then she’ll hide it on her person, and make an illusory copy.

Apphia and Brianne go out to get Apphia a new top, although Juna had Mending’d her shirt. Shopping episode~! After Brianne helps her find one, Apphia decides to get her a super soft nice cloak… OF BILLOWING! It’s all super gay. As they walk back, Brianne brushes her hand against hers, and Apphia takes her hand and swings their arms as they walk back.

Cadence, with a few drinks in her, finally shares her nightmares (or, trauma flashbacks) - a unicorn which was an Exarch(?) of Mielikki was corrupted into a undryad-like beast, and chased her out of the arbor. We have a big group hug.

Brianne: “If I’m super gay for Apphia, does that make me an Apphiest?”

Megan: “If Brianne wants to have the gay panic long rest, she can bunk with apphia.”

End of session, and day 3.