#and like unpack and organize stuff
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going to my old place tomorrow to see what they say after the walkthrough and pick up the vacuum and then going on tuesday to get my bike, see MALENA, and drop off the keys and then i’ll finally be DONE MOVING 🔥💯🙌at last
#but it feels good to see it written out#this has been so drawn out#and i still need to get like a desk and stuff#and like unpack and organize stuff#since we have three peoples worth of kitchen items#but it feels so good to see it written out
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my issue is that 2 weeks ago I was flip flopping on what decision to make while being very convinced that I wanted to try to leave and that doing so would make me happy and no matter how difficult it was it would be worth it. Just like how i wanted my surgery but was still wracked with guilt leading up to it. Now im stressed and obsessively thinking about it while being convinced that leaving would not make me happy at all and would not be worth it. which is a lot harder...
#talkys#and its extra hard bc the surgery is the only thing in my life I've been 100% sure about.#also my brain is doing the extra steps stuff and im already exhausted especially since i once again dont really have#family on my side or excited for me#thinking about having to have them drive me up for the job interview then having to get apartment#lease and then having to organize and throw away and pack my stuff and then unpack it#while never knowing if rent is going to be way too high next year is already too much#knowing that i love being alone but would be very lonely and not have any extended time to come home and spontaneously#go to the movies or some local event with my siblings makes me sad#the only friend id have in the new location has her own life and partner and such. id just be alone and not#wanting to leave my apartment bc i hate driving#the good times here are rare but they'd be non-existent in an empty apartment#and id likely be too tired to do hobbies after work and chores and staying alive#the color rly has drained from me not even the thought of being able to transition is saving me#nothing would change for the better
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Finally went and arranged my furniture, and now im sitting in a very normal (ish) living room. With normal couches and a normal TV. I would not have had this normal living room if not for my dad. Thanks, dad!
#speculation nation#one of those things where like im not glad he died *obviously*. but im glad i got to keep his stuff.#it was definitely worth the year i spent with the most cramped living room known to mankind#had to keep the furniture somehow!!! and i didnt have much room to do so.#but now i am sitting here in a room that is pretty barebones. but i moved most of the boxes out of it.#so like it's just a normal living room now. and it makes me excited for when i can finally make it my own.#in the living room part of this apartment there are only 5 pieces i bought with my own money. 2 were secondhand.#9 pieces (including the couches and the tv) were directly inherited when he died.#and then 1 piece was given to me By my dad. and 1 piece was given to me by a friend.#and so. yeah this living room is basically just my dad's living room. directly inherited by me.#this very apartment is smth i wouldnt have gotten if it wasnt for the money i got after he died.#it's kinda. idk. a little weird feeling. to directly benefit so much from his death.#bc like in the end if i could choose between these material benefits and my dad being alive. id choose my dad being alive no hesitation.#but he's not alive. and nothing i could ever do could change that.#but bc he set things up for us so well. and bc my sister had no interest in Most of the furniture.#i just got to claim most of his life for myself. and it's mine now.#in his honor. i will do my utmost best. from now on. to take proper care of his furniture. and keep my place clean.#gonna keep the kind of apartment i wouldnt be embarrassed to have him visit. thats the goal.#god i did so much today for rearranging things and cleaning. it's starting to look like an actual living space.#makes me look forward to when i can get it properly set up. with all my books and posters and figurines and decorations#but before i can do that. i must first. unpack all my living shit lol. like clothes and whatever.#i did organize my boxes at least so my clothes r in the closet now. just. still in boxes lol. but itll be easier to find it all.#the TV looked fuckass big in my old place but here it looks like. a reasonably sized TV for the space.#im kinda looking forward to actually using it. i should set up my ps5 sometime soon. later.
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does anyone else feel like the negatives of life far outweigh the positives? like i know it's probably just a depression thing, but most of life really sucks, even just common day to day things, like cleaning, working, etc. i am so exhausted.
#im so exhausted#and everything is just going to get so much worse from here#i have spent the last 1.25 years just getting myself to a place where i can go back to school and continue my life#but i am so tired and i haven't even left for the semester yet#the car is full of my stuff and we're leaving tomorrow morning. 5ish hour car ride and then we have to bring my stuff into the apartment#then unpack and clean and organize and then go to the grocery store and then classes start#i don't feel like i can do this but i cant let my family down again
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"Where the fuck has Velvet even been for the last month?"
Stuck in poorly edited into the backrooms breaking it down "white boi MMD dance" style, thanks for asking.
New entity just dropped.
#I've been fixing my living space/office space because it's been a mess and I never unpacked anything for like 4 years.#So I'm finally actually getting a proper desk and shit; wall mounting my monitors; moving stuff around generally organizing#and I've been horribly sick lately but that's the norm
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Mom: last time I moved I spent four months getting everything ready
Mm yes and then you made me do it in one, while grieving and dealing with YOU
#if you think i am going to let you into my apartment to mess with all my stuff just because i have to move in several months.....#me: *whole entire mess* my mother: WOE! STRESS UPON YE!!!#yeah no we are NOT repeating that. you will be nowhere near this process#like have fun cleaning the place even though they charge for cleaning anyway. knock yourself out i guess.#but I will be unpacking and I will be organizing and YOU will not be a part of it
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i am clarifying right now that the writing is going to take a while, I'm not gonna get too specific as to *why*, but uh
yeeeaaaah
#ooc content in the tags#beware expanding#writer talking down there#not cheese#final warning im serious it's not cheese down there#my house flooded twice within 5 days and our roof started leaking again#no it wasnt the first time but we thought they fixed it#organized housing haha college life#my partner and i had to spontaneously move to a new house within like 10 days and I'm exhausted bc other stuff was happening#had to leave them to deal with it because of jury duty in ANOTHER STATE#life is hell right now and I'm trying to arrange the house and unpack while i can bc my partner also works#that's why I've been like#actually dead for a bit here#was gonna keep the space jail thing up for longer while i did prep work for a big big project for the blog but#didn't pan out bc of life happening#uwu#cheese
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randomly decided to organize my bathroom counter and cabinet but I have to pause halfway through. please pray for my momentum
#have to pause bc i cant stand for very long and i had just dyed ny hair also lol#i also need to clean up my living room 😩#my problem is i never know where to put things#my spare room is filled with stuff bc of stopping halfway through trying to reorganize all my books#there are literally so many books you cannot get all the way into the room. i wish i were exaggerating#anyone wanna have a party at my apartment where we actually fully unpack and organize everything#i moved in here like a year and a half ago and i still have so much shit in boxes lmfao
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OK SO
i just made myself a huge like masterlist p much in discord with all my fics in it. i’ll need to put tumblr stuff in it too later but THE HOPE IS. that since i will be able to easily scroll through all of it. (google docs mobile is hell and i usually write on my phone) i will actually be able to SEE ALL MY FICS. and not forget about what i am working on.
i’m also keeping track now of what i currently want to work towards and what i have in my inbox over here. before i was kinda just checking every so often and then forgetting and then checking and then forgetting etc
WITH ANY LUCK. this will mean more consistent posting. i CANNOT promise anything because i am a human and thus flawed. BUT I WOULD LIKE TO GO BACK TO WRITING MORE.
i have five twstober prompts left to write and eight requests in my inbox and then i will open requests again. i will NOT be hosting any request EVENTS for the near future - twstober will be the only event i am planning on regularly participating in. i would like to instead focus more on my full fics and my ocs as they bring me very much joy. please ask me about my ocs i will love you forever /platonic. i will also add something to my request rules for asks about ocs because i will take any and all excuses to talk about them
CHEERS I HOPE THIS WORKS BROS. I NEED TO GET A WHITEBOARD OR SMTH FOR A REMINDER IN MY PHYSICAL SURROUNDINGS TOO FOR MY BRAIN
#i am one of those people that likes timeblocking in my calendar#but that doesn’t work for me for writing#i write when the writing mood strikes#which isn’t very often unless i am hyperfocusing or am reminded of my wonderful beautiful boys (my ocs)#white board would be ideal so i can write down like top three priorities for writing and work on those for a week and then cycle through#i think we might have one somewhere#i still haven’t unpacked all the way from when we moved six months ago 💀#i’m doing my best#anyways tonight has been a lot of ranting#i love writing i just kind of forget about everything that isn’t placed in front of me regularly#so scrolling through years of google docs on my phone doesn’t really work#they’re organized into folders on google drives. but the folders don’t translate to docs.#it’s terrible.#solution?#make a discord server into a masterpost#this is also a useful way for me to store small ideas without clogging up my drafts#fnaf laundry fic has like five pages of notes of fun things that could happen and then has like a chapter or a half a chapter done#so i can move stuff over#and for something in the water#i literally have a whole nother document filled with fun ideas#wyn is my baby girl you don’t understand#i have literally 16 current fics you can’t blame me for forgetting about them if they’re not all there okay
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my room is CLEAN i feel like a person again!!!
#my closet on the other hand. a HOT mess#cause i just dumped everything in there#but at least i don't have to Look at the mess#and now im gonna spend like 20 min every day slowly slowly organizing the closet and unpacking the rest of my stuff#and things will be ok.
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my mom: wow i thought you'd be fully unpacked already!
me, an adhd: well. i have a very narrow window of time every day where i have the motivation to do anything. and every time i go to do something somehow i end up with eight more things to do.
#liveblogging life#also im very comfortable living in a mess so i dont have enough motivation to get everything cleared out lmao#mostly it's that on top of unpacking my own stuff i also bought a bunch of furniture and home stuff#so like. i have to unpack that and put it together and get the boxes out of my place and so on#like most of my stuff is unpacked it's really just organizing it all (boring) and getting rid of boxes/bags of garbage (boring)#so it's hard to motivate myself to do it if it's not really affecting my day to day... which its not#that said i REALLY have to finish getting the last of my shit out of my car lol#i still have most of my final load in there bc it's so annoying to have to carry it upstairs#i also have SO MUCH cardboard in my house right now. so many boxes it's unreal i want them all gone#but i have to carry it all down three flights to my recycling bin and it's so annoying#i finished my bathroom/linen closet and finally fixed most of my work/writing desk#also finally got a couch that can actually fit in my door lmao and set that up so i can finally use my living room#i think i'm getting there but for sure it will probably be at least another week before im fully unpacked
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so much wanting to have the house back
#basement restoration finally actually underway#so many many furniture has been moved outside#and half my sewing space is in my room#no room for it#things is gross#things ramped up a lot yesterday and today in preparation for the painter#who is just sprayin the walls which is why we had to fully evacuate half the rooms in our house#cat is not too upset fortunately#once the painting is done we will choose carpet#and hopefully it will be installed within the week#and then the bad#unpacking and organizing#we didn't do a marvelous job of organizing while packing#the sewing stuff isn't bad i tidied a lot when i was consolidating#but everything else we still have so much nonsense to sort through#i am coming face to face with my dependence on my mom#like i just keep not unlearning it because when she is around she will invariably get things done#so if i'm like 'hm taking apart the wholeass house is daunting and my executives are dysfunctioning'#i don't have a very strong motivation to work around that#bc mom is like 'fuck this shit i'll just do it then'#and she does feel bad but she's got the most willpower of all of us
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at the stage of the move where i have to start putting up art which is. terrible and more stressful than it should be
like ive always ended up liking how i put things up but the planning stage is wretched
#i am an indecisive bastard i cannot help it#the living room in particular is awful bc we dont have the tv yet AND i want to eventually get an upright piano#so i have to decide where the piano is going for when we get it however many months down the line#and then plan the art around the nonexistent piano#OUGH#also i gotta start applying to jobs -_- the devils work#very happy with how much we've gotten done in less than 3 weeks tho esp considering my health stuff this month#like we've got maybe 3ish boxes left? and its mostly like. tchotchkes that cant be unpacked until we get shelves up#also my craft room closet is a nightmare bc i have to figure out organization but. that can come later
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In most cases with cozy games the question “why do it in a game when you could do it irl?” has no reasoning because Game but in the case where my mom saw me playing Unpacking after literally unpacking all my stuff from a months long trip she is probably valid with that question
#it took me like two weeks to fully unpack everything too lmao#just left folders of leftover stuff around#there was bags on the floor#look man I like organization when I can see where everything goes on a little screen#unpacking
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i’ve been in my new apartment for seven months now and y’all i am
*this fucking close*
to being fully set up.
idk how people move more than once a year. I would never unpack 😭
#IN MY DEFENSE#we moved in right before christmas#so that delayed things and also added to my unpacking list#BUT MY GOD#i’ve just had those lingering boxes.#the ‘i will want / use these things eventually but idk where to put them now’ boxes#but i finally have#two big bags of things to take back hone#and then i do have One box of like#decor and organizing stuff that i don’t need Now but may use in the future#but i’m content to leave that in my closet indefinitely tbh#SO ONCE MY HOME BAGS ARE HOME#i’m done 😵💫😵💫😵💫 fuck#…… yeah i am not a minimalist 😬
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Unpacking my beloathed
#I like organizing stuff but it stresses me out#and there’s SO MUCH to unpack 😭#I have all the boxes open and scattered around my room now though so it’s not like I can stop#I just need to finish all the boxes so I can rest bc. there is nowhere to rest there are boxes all over my bed lol#ellyposting
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