#and like. i know that it would be awesome to have top surgery bc i am not comfortable being around most ppl without binding

[yaoi-hate-machine]

coming to the awesome conclusion that i should go back on t to lower my risk for breast cancer, and the sad conclusion that i should also get top surgery for the same reason

[lord-shitbox]

joy log 3/26 and uh. all the other days ive forgotten

hung out with one of my buddies we went swimming it was a lot of fun

while we were waiting for room to open up in the pool (theres a quota to keep it from getting too crowded) we went to the playground & it had like one of those wiggly bridges that shakes when you walk on it. so i stood on one end and she stood on the other & we both jumped around and catapulted each other into the air holy shit it was so fun

jangle and ais would do that. theyd go to a trampoline park and launch each other into orbit.

we also ate boba with a spoon and watched dandadan on my beanbag. delightful

she talked abt how shes awful at replying to texts so she's really into people who double or triple text her. this is great news bc she left me on delivered for a week a lil while ago & i was sure it meant she was upset with me

worked on the jangle & ais drawing theres some background detail now :) not a whole lot tho idrc abt it and the focal point stays them

also worked on my fic. i normally max out at 3k words & VERY rarely write more than 1k but this one's well over 5k now. reworked the bit id just been doing & theres one more paragraph i need to edit a little bit and then a short par or two to get me to the ending sequence ive planned out AND THEN! the first scene will be done. very very close now (another 2w probably lmfao)

been playing dolls with summer by making our ocs kiss its delightful

loosely planned the stuff i wanna make for the orchid festival in 2 months. i wanna finish the illust & fic ive got going rn first and then i;ll prob pivot to dedicating myself to that. 2 months straight of horny art lets go

been reading up on safe & ethical kink practices & kink negotiation is actually rewiring my brain a little. like sitting down and talking out exactly and specifically every single aspect of what you're ok to do to each other and what's not allowed. thats awesome holy shit this general principle should be applied to every single relationship ever. there is a lot of grief i couldve been spared if id known to approach consent & relationships like this

weather is PERFECT barely-warm temperature. and it was overcast and breezy too today which meant it was pleasant to be outside and not squint constantly from owie sun bright

i downloaded a dating app & i am shittign myself over it but it is showing me mentally ill enbies in my area and . hooooly shit

figured out im good with not smoking cigs bc i can just smoke joints instead. huge weight off my shoulders to not have that temptation

OH ALSO i made myself a sticker chart. its helping me keep up with life maintenance like showering and keeping my room clean AND its helping me stay sober when i know i shouldnt be using. fucking awesome (every 20 stickers i earn a do drugs)

the realization i had abt self esteem the other day. good shit. i just need to convince myself im capable and functional & not to assume everyone dislikes me & then ill live like lalalala yippee yay

finished the strawberry soda i had in the fridge

hung out with my dog

made good drinks at work yesterday

OH I WENT ON A WATERSLIDE SHIRTLESS FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER. it had been since before I got top surgery. Ive been looking forward to going way faster without the drag from a rash guard & it was a rlly small slide but I DID go fast

thank u to everyone that checked up on me when I was sad it really helped & I appreciate evry one of u

alright im sleepy.bedtime bedtime

[walking-loather]

Okay very important note as someone with adeno. Yes, you can treat it by getting a hysterectomy (if u dont have a uterus anymore then you cannot experience the debilitating uterine symptoms) however. Holy shit??? The fuck do you mean just get a hysterectomy???

Reasons you might want to keep an organ in your body even if it is causing you terrible pain:

1. Premature menopause, which is Not Great for your health, or if you enjoy what some may consider a somewhat Frivolous Experience like having a sex life. Fucking with your hormones is like the easiest way to kill your libido. And HRT? Yeah finding a cocktail that actually works for you? Not the easiest thing in the world. Be prepared to take a while to work that one out. But Okay, Maybe sex isnt important to you. Slay, whatever. Do u know what might be?

2. Premature menopause is linked to Alzheimer's! Now do we know 100% what causes Alzheimer's? No. Am i saying that getting a hysterectomy will GIVE you Alzheimer's? No. But statistics exist and dont really care about why you might have needed a hysterectomy, they just kinda let you roll the celestial dice and then keep score.

3. This is so crazy but you actually need your hormones for your bone health. Your endocrine system is very crucial to your bone mineralisation. Your uterus, ive heard, is actually a very important part your endocrine system. Allegedly. Im not a biologist or anything, thats just what ive deduced from being alive and existing vaguely near diagrams. If you would like not to have osteoporosis. Maybe consider that it may be a worthwhile organ.

4. Organs. Sit on top of. Other organs. Believe it or not. What do you think happens if you remove one of those puppies? Great question, the answer is usually, pelvic organ prolapse or some other form of pelvic floor issue. If you are someone with a connective tissue disorder that causes hypermobility, you may want to not remove something which is keeping all of your other shit in place. Personally! I have EDS. My shit is already rolling around down there like its made overcooked spaghetti. I would like not to fuck with that, but thats just a me thing.

I say all of this bc it lowkey highkey pisses me off that my "cure" option is Remove A Fucking Organ. We dont even know the full health ramifications of this bc we're only finally starting to get to a point where we realise that "Lady Organ Do More Than Make Baby?????". This is because misogyny is Awesome and 1) this condition that effects like??? 10% of all women??? Wasnt worth researching???? and 2) Why would anyone even think to check if this silly little hunk of meat did anything actually important (you know. Apart from all that Stupid Frivolous Womens Nonsense And Whatnot.)

Isnt that rage inducing to you???? My treatment options are birth control or major surgery? Like thats it??? Are you kidding????

Personally. I do not feel like we get angry enough about this. So yes, having a hysterectomy will cure your adenomyosis, but kinda in the same way that removing your stomach cures stomach cramps. Im literally on my hands and knees begging and pleading for a different option and for people to STOP SAYING that Oh! Treating adeno is an easy fix! Get a hysterectomy!!

(bc tumblr is bad at nuance. No i am not saying that anyone previously in the thread was saying that getting a hysterectomy is a good treatment option for adeno, or even advocating for it. They were objectively just stating a fact. However. When you have adeno, it is extremely frustrating to be met with this narrative (even glancingly, even if a complete stranger just hears about it and thinks it quietly in their brain) that its potentially "easier" to live with adeno than endo bc you can just get a hysterectomy and that will fix your problems. Once again, not saying that anyone was trying to imply that, but it is very super important for me to bring it up bc the idea of it existing even peripherally without saying something makes me break out in hives bc i have HEARD this rhetoric. A lot. And in general i think its worth bringing up that the uterus is a really important organ that does a lot of things outside of pregnancy and menstruation.)

hey so it’s march now aka the beginning of endometriosis awareness month and i feel obligated to remind you that debilitatingly painful periods are not normal. if you or someone you know is ending up sick or bedridden every month, you are not crazy and deserve medical attention from someone who will take you seriously

[nathank77]

5/3/25

8:29 p.m

I am very motivated I'm 100% at the gym. I just mean i see videos and stuff of other guys and they are so huge and they can activate their lats and all that. I try not to compare myself bc I know it takes years and a calorie deficit but also the right amount of calories and protien to grow. It takes time.

I did way too much today. I actually did the mts shoulder press at 100 pounds per arm for 6 sets and the supine at 100 pounds per arm for 6 sets. I did do most of my workout at my regular weight but I dropped some of it...

See i worked hard to get to those numbers on these machines.. and I'm afraid if I take it too easy I'll be back at 10 pounds. I remember being on the mts shoulder press and barely being able to get to 20 pounds per arm... so I limited myself on certian machines to make sure I stay where I'm at. Like the tricep extension. That one i didn't want to go down on. But I did go down on the bicep curls and a tiny bit on the row machine.

And I added a bunch of lat exercises, a bunch. I tried all sorts of things at a lower weight of 50-70 pounds together. I made it fun.

It was sorta Deload day.. sorta.

The issue with trying new exercises is I'm like OMFG I LOVE THIS. Like I did the wide grip cable row. It's awesome. I did the wide grip and close grip lat pulldown. It's way too addictive. I just can't compare myself to other guys.

Anyways I hope this cyst gets better. I hope I sleep well. And I wish I could talk to her. If I could have any person in the whole world, I'd chose her. I accept friendship is all I can *maybe* have with her one day. I truly want her husband to make her the happiest woman in the entire world.

The thing is everytime I see a woman looking at me- i think i wish it was her. I'm trying to find someone don't get me wrong. But I'm awkward and I'm heart broken that I can be there with her platonically.

I wanted to be there when she had surgery. I want to walk with her, not in solidarity.

I couldn't walk today bc I'm waddling still but once this cyst gets better I'm finishing my 28 miles. I might start wearing the ribbon on my pants bc my tank tops some of them anyways have weak fabric unlike my pants. I mean I want to wear it. She gives me strength. She makes me want to try.

She's got to know if i hadn't ever met her I'd be dead. I would have never made it through psychosis. So I wear it and try to be there for her the only way I can since I can't force myself into her life. I can support her from afar.

[bakedbananners]

do you have any ftm magnus chase headcanons that are mostly fluffy?

OH BOY DO I!

I know Jack would offer to give him top surgery as a fucked up form of allyship LMAO

Since his mom always had short hair he just automatically thinks that short hair=feminine so having longer hair is really gender-affirming for him :)

Natalie just raising him with hardly any gender signifiers or anything so one day he’s just like mom I’m a boy now and she’s like ok awesome 👍

The thought of him picking the name Magnus when he is like 12 is very funny to me. It rhymes with swagness. 💀 and then when he’s 16 he’s like god that was so cringe,,, but he’s too attached to the name to change it now kmslfnfkdndk

Forgets to take off his binder constantly during long quests. he’s just like hm I cannot breathe. I am dying now. I think his friends have to constantly check on him bc he is silly.

Tbh I don’t think he really binds at all when not doing quests or anything I think he does not care lol especially bc he wouldn’t able to do it while homeless

I already made a whole thing about it but the idea of Magnus being trans the whole time and just. not telling Alex is so funny lol

Alex picks out the most obnoxious binders all the time. They are so bright and ugly. Magnus wears them tho lol.

He just. doesnt get cramps n when Mallory asks why not he’s just like Lol I make them go away 😝 and she almost strangles him

Any time he gets the Dysphoria Feels Halfborn is like aggressively and loudly validating lmao. Like Magnus my FRIEND who is a GUY. the most MASCULINE GUY I know‼️

Annabeth (hc she is transfem) giving him any of her old clothes/stuff she doesn’t want anymore 🥺🥺🥺

[dog-teeth]

Hiii please don't answer if this question is too much but I was wondering what your experience as a trans person existing is like? Rn I'm cis passing and low-key making me miserable but the anxiety of how I would b treated in the world is so so so scary so I guess is it hard? Are you treated any different? Especially the non-binary thing bc that's me too <3

haiii as always i write fucken essays so its below the cut lol

well first of all i can only speak to my own experience, which is obvs influenced by the other parts of my life like my location/class/race/sexuality/personality/etc, it difficult/impossible to distill what "being trans" is like without factoring in everything else.

but anyways, i'm extremely lucky to have had the security to come out and be open about my transness since i'm surrounded by really excellent people. when i came out i was 14 and didn't know any other trans people, and it sucked, but i feel like even in just the past 6ish years there's a LOT more visibility for trans people than there was back then, and obvs i was young and had a lot less personal autonomy at the time. but my friends were all really cool about it and my parents were chill as well, and i went to a good high school where my teachers were respectful (i got misgendered by other students but once they were aware of me being trans they usually stopped) so i honestly didn't face that much external difficulty because of my gender.

the period between coming out and medically transitioning was rough a lot of the time tho, just because of the frustration of trying to be seen a certain way and the world never seeing you that way, at times it felt futile to even try and for a long time i really wished i wasn't trans, because being trans had never brought me any joy, so i didn't have pride in it the way i could with my sexuality, as it had only ever caused me pain (whereas my queer sexuality had lead me to love, sex, community, etc). but those were internally-driven feelings, not anything specific in how i was treated except for generally living in a world that didn't see me as myself, but that's also true when ur not out. it took a lot of fighting to be seen, and learning how to make myself happy.

since coming out, though, its been really really amazing. meeting & connecting with other trans people, dating other trans people, helping other people figure out their gender identities by being myself around them, making art about being trans, etc, is very rewarding, and obvs u can do that without being "out" too.

emotionally its very fulfilling, like jesus christ medically transitioning once i was an adult was so fucking awesome. i hadnt realized how much not being visible as my gender to other people was holding me back and distressing me until it stopped. even though i had socially transitioned earlier and been respected by people around me, it wasnt until i went on hrt and had top surgery that i felt really really good about existing as a trans person, when i could exist at any time in any space in any clothes and be seen how i wanted to be seen, and felt like my body was as it should be.

i don't really get treated differently tbh, most people don't readily assume ppl are trans so upon meeting me people just think im a queer guy, and i only bring up being trans when i want to & feel ok doing so. being nonbinary some people are bad about using my pronouns but i honestly dont care much. every once in a while i have to explain gender stuff to people but again i dont mind. its def more annoying than if i was a binary trans person but meh.

there's some annoying/anxiety-inducing stuff like dealing with extended family, doctors appointments, legal documents, and situations where i feel like i have to try to be Stealth, but those are rare compared to my everyday life where i'm genuinely just vibing.

i completely respect trans people who don't want to be out for whatever reason, but personally i've found it to be very rewarding and i can only imagine how miserable i'd be if i couldn't be open about my gender.

tldr; it's hard while you're figuring yourself out, but if the people around you are generally good, it's extremely awesome to be able to be yourself and transition!

[starstruckodysseys]

no one said yes but here it is anyway bc this is my blog!

ep8: the wings that flap in the night. no explanation needed. we all know my brand. also russell’s/jennifer’s attention vs connection thing killed me and continues to do so bc it is Too Relatable!! also also dang + usha friendship for life they r the sweetest <3 we got the (much needed) hospital scene which is absolutely insane. that man should not be a doctor i fear. also paula-as-jack deciding that the best way to test whether or not his family was trustworthy was. to ask his wife what his dick looked like?? and then lucy describing it like a perp bc johnny was there?? absolutely insane what the fuck this episode had so much going on

ep2: and that’s whirred up. incredible establishing ep into the movie world! everyone getting adjusted is so fucking funny they’re so bad at it and i love them. ify was on fire this ep (the whole mirror pc thing, “that’s basically cop 101,” “usha might be dead,” other stuff i cannot think of for the life of me rn). its usha the old lady from the store. incredible stuff

ep9: without our siblings. would be number 2 if i didn’t feel like it was two separate episodes in one. which is personal bias but like it’s my list so. anyway. liv rage moment!! russell + liv conversation ft actually talking abt their feelings!! actual wenliv kiss!! rekha’s beans moment!! everything i could have asked for. also we went to the white house apparently. i kind of zoned out at that point but that’s on me

ep4: under the night sun. absolutely insane i processed none of the events and i loved every single second of it. rekha going “no i am going to throw this oily t-shirt in front of my car going 4000 miles an hour in order to go faster” is a top d20 moment. of all time. we got bi kingskin. we got j-kwon (who i definitely know) and bad bunny being Real People. we got a tank. we got a broken wrist goes in for the kiss. we went to space. we got… some other stuff probably. i don’t understand cars or racing and i’m not about to pretend i do

ep1: be kind, rewind. i love a good establishing pilot and watching the awesome action heroes just fuck around in the video store is like. so good. i love a slice of life moment. unhinged but not even close to an indicator of the actual insanity of nsbu. i mean this in a good way i promise

ep5: double death doggy style. the fact this is in sixth is a testament to how much i love this season bc i ADORE this episode. truly. plot heavy in comparison to the others but not in a way that feels out of place and is sort of refreshing after the insanity of ep4. absolutely insane plot twists and the way the reactions are shown is wonderful (specifically talking abt if you die in the movie you die in real life + the shawn nitro reveal). paula slam poetry-ing her son back to life top ten moments of all time. wonderful

ep3: the deluxe royale. does not deserve to be this low but like. here we are. i nearly cried laughing the first time i watched bc izzy immediately regretting the fact she threw a grenade was so fucking funny. the whole conversation about the sidewinders and whether or not today is their birthday (rekha is so desperate for brennan to answer and it’s so funny). dang’s character development regarding rashab. it’s all so good!

ep7: dang dang revolution. upon rewatch i actually love this one which is a testament to my nsbu insanity and this list in general. i do keep saying this but still. anyway. starting a note with “also” is possibly the funniest move ever. actually that whole jack/lucy/vic/jennifer scene is so fucking funny. just in general. cringefail russell!jennifer my beloved <3 also the dang + wolfman ann conversation nearly made me cry so um. oops! ALSO brain crush skull hack surgery hack happened which like. iconic. awesome action heroes friendship slash la familia you will always be famous TO ME !!!!

ep6: meet the santangelos. everything will be okay. you are getting kicked in the head until you die. (that’s it. that’s my summary) (not really. i really do like this one i swear bc like! wendell character arc! liv + dang friendship! adrenalized paula-as-jack! why do the santangelos keep a car in their attic! yippee!!)

ep10: superbomb. now. okay. i am tumblr’s (and possibly the world’s) number one nsbu fan, as voted on by nobody but me. however comma. i will admit the finale uhhh left some things to be desired. not even necessarily in a bad way. like i get why they left so much hanging (everything was already absolutely insane). i just wish we’d gotten a little more… something? idk. i did nearly cry at “you are real, you are everything, and everything is you” to the point it’s in my instagram bio + my discord status so. also ive said it before but the dang/wendell/liv trio is so dear to me and the whole conversation abt believing in rashab and therefore in dang also made me deeply emotional!!! they’re so!!!!!! the epilogues in general are really good actually. shoutout to boy’s night (ft paula) in amsterdam fr

anyone want my nsbu ep ranking

[vacantgodling]

🪩 ❌ 🎤 for you know what 👀 gimme ur vamps

YEEEEHAW. i’ll answer this for both vdtrt & dead rites bc why not!

🪩—Would you want a movie adaption, TV, or something else? Animated or live action?

honestly both of these would probably work best in movie form because the story is pretty contained for both of them. and for both i would be willing to allow live action however i really prefer 2D animation LMAO. i think a live action dead rites would actually be pretty good—after the new interview with a vampire show i have faith that vampire media on screen can be just as homoerotic and ridiculously sexy and dead rites just has that vibe for me.

bc there’s powers in vdtrt i would be scared to see it live action so just pls animate it for my sake 😭

❌—What’s the worst thing an adaption of your WIP could do? Your absolute worst nightmare?

for vdtrt it’s to make any of the characters with dark skin have pale skin. like i literally do not care if it says vampires like half the cast is dark skinned please don’t do this to me

similar vibe in dead rites bc beau is dark skinned however i’m more worried about someone trying to take away the fact that n is very obviously trans masc. he has top surgery scars, he has binders laying around his house, he hasn’t had bottom surgery (which is important to note bc he and beau fuck at one point), he takes t—like idk pls. let my trans masc boy be trans masc 😔

🎤—Describe the opening scene

dead rites it would be really cool to have a one take shot of the busy news office that n works in. following n as he grabs coffee, as people stop him to ask about new stories going out and giving exposition about vampires and why everyone is in a flurry because dick lindsey (that politician) was just shot and is n leaving to go do some field research?? and seeing how in his element n is and how confident he is. the rush of papers and flurry of movement and chaos of people talking as we just follow n through the small office would be awesome to me. itd end with n standing outside on the big city streets, taking in a breath of air and being like “alright, time to work” or some snappy line like that

vdtrt would start in the same way as the book with darren going to get olice from school. simply bc in the beginning on the road as they’re driving home there’s some good exposition AND they technically run into the medium bad within the first five seconds of being on the road (a dude with wavy white hair appears in the middle of the road then disappears and darren’s like ??? tf) and so idk i want that moment to be like mad tense bc darren nearly runs into him. with humor tho bc darren does crack jokes and he does yell at a angry cabby as well lol

[ezradogteeth]

do u have any advice or reassurance for someone who identified as a binary trans man for a long time and then realized he’s genderfluid and is kind of panicking about whether to come out again about it or just privately be genderweird and is questioning whether to continue hormonal transition? :)

i think its super normal and even cool to have transitioned as a binary trans person and later realized you're more genderqueer/genderfluid/nonbinary/androgynous etc. i know other people who have done the same thing, and i relate as well, more with my physical transition than my identity but yeah :)

i'd say for both hrt and coming out, it depends on what would make you happiest of course! if you aren't uncomfortable with people seeing you as male and think it wouldnt be worth it to come out again bc you're already fine with your social/external gender, its totally chill to just know you're genderfluid and be genderfluid on your own, no pressure to come out. but if you think youd feel more comfortable and understood if people knew you're genderfluid and maybe changed what pronouns they use for you (obvs u dont have to change ur pronouns if u come out either) etc, coming out again could be a good option! the people who love u will be excited for you figuring out yourself more and be happy to support you, i know it can be weird to come out again, but theres absolutely nothing wrong with changing how you identify. and remember u dont have to Formally Come Out all at once, u can also just tell your close friends one at a time when u feel comfortable with it, take it slow and casual, thats how ive been approaching changing my pronouns and some complicated stuff w my name.

as for HRT, i struggled a Lot to decide if i wanted to keep taking it, for months i was unsure. firstly i made a list of all the effects T had on me, positive and negative, and wrote each thing i thought about into two columns on a piece of paper (staying on T vs going off T) which helped me sort out on a practical level what going off it would mean. but its really all about the vibes lol like its completely cool for u to continue T and still be genderfluid, you don't have to meet any standard for androgyny, if you like being on T thats sweet. if you want to be read as more androgynous or feel like going off T would be more congruent with your identity, thats also great. and remember you can always go back on it in the future if you want!

everything i said was really obvious but yeah. its awesome that u have learned more about yourself and accepted it as part of you. whatever you do from here is up to you, and any path you take is great. personally, i find it worth it to re-come our to my closest friends and be open about changes in my gender identity and presentation, it helps me a lot even tho its a hassle to deal with. but as for acquaintances and strangers idc about coming out since any way they read me is whatever

it has been strange for me going very far with my physical transition (3years on T and had top surgery), and then deciding to go off T and present more purposefully feminine/androgynously. i love it tho its fun to explore now that i can choose with ease to be a boy or a girl or neitherboth etc since my body is v androgynous/masculine. love to be a girl with masculine features and love to be a boy with feminine features too. teehee

good luck i hope whatever you do makes u happy!!!

[epicene-humanoid]

some trans Jeff thoughts:

he realized he was trans in elementary school and just went fuck it I'll just start introducing myself as Jeffery and see if anyone decides to stop me (as we know, jeff winger can get away with almost anything)

he got top surgery the second he could afford it (around the same time he started at his law firm), and probably bribed someone to keep it a secret

"I'm jeff winger and i would rather look at myself naked than the women I sleep with" are the words of a man proud of his transition

he's really insecure about his fashion sense, which is why he mostly dresses like the douchey guys at his firm in the start of the show, he thought you can't go wrong with the sleazy lawyer look

he will never admit it but he feels super good about the dean hitting on him, because the dean is a (cis) guy, acknowledging that Jeff is more manly than him

i think he starts out stealth and comes out to everyone one by one, probably starting with abed because he knows abed won't judge him and will probably just see it as an interesting backstory.

abed just says it's cool and maybe worth a prequel exploring Jeff's transition, and jeff asks him to predict how all of the members of the group will react to him coming out.

abed's predictions:

britta will be over-the-top supportive and do a ton of research about trans history, probably put together a slideshow just to prove how progressive she is, and jeff will be a little bit weirded out, but also touched that she did all that for him, though he would never let her know that

shirley will be confused, because she doesn't know how someone she trusts and knows so well could be part of a group she was raised to hate, but ultimately realizes that there's nothing actually against the lgbtq people in the bible, and, as a cool character development arch, starts to advocate against use of the bible to justify bigotry

troy will just think it over and decide that Jeff's physique and coolness are even awesomer knowing how much work he'd had to put in to be like that, and respects Jeff's manliness even more

annie will give him a hug, say something sweet about how she'll always love him, and worry about his health, because even she read somewhere that taking testosterone makes you more likely to have a heart attack, jeff will explain that the risk is still only as high a cis guy, and she'll be the one to always remind him to take his shots

peirce will say at best say "jeff winger used to be a chick?" and at worst call him a slur, either way there's sure to be a lot of misgendering from him, and pestering to know Jeff's deadname (needless to say, Jeff just doesn't tell peirce)

the whole group goes out of their way to keep their beach trips a secret from pierce (the girls don't want him there anyways, he's too liable to be creepy) even though jeff knows that even if pierce saw his scars, all he would have to do is make up a story about some childhood accident and pierce would never question it

sorry this ended up being super long. can I hear some of your headcanons for him?

YES ALL THIS!!! yes yes i’m fully accepting this as canon oh my god

i’m about to type a whole ass ESSAY at midnight because i have been DYING to talk about this for months ajfdksljk,,, this is going to be obscenely long and i might end up adding even more to it as i continue to rewatch the show because there is truly no shortage of trans jeff content (especially when you’re trans and see transness in every little thing ajdkslfkjs)

spoiler warning for literally everything about this show under the cut <3

i 100% agree, i feel like he realized he was trans super young, especially since in the show we see him as a little kid a couple of times. 

like look at little jeff with the oversized sweatshirt and little ponytail!! that’s childhood trans fashion. not to be dramatic but part of me thinks that jeff’s dad left before he fully came out to his family (which gives him even more angst about it, because until that one Thanksgiving episode, he’s never able to prove to his dad that he’s a better man), but part of me thinks that his dad left after he came out (which adds that spicy i-should-have-stayed-in-the-closet guilt that he has to work through). 

either way, because his dad wasn’t there, he had to base his concept of masculinity on something else, which was becoming a lawyer!! there’s some line that’s like “after the dust and divorce papers were settled the only man i looked up to was [the lawyer guy]”. like, replacing your father figure in your mind with the concept of “a job where you can talk your way in and out of anything and distort other people’s concept of reality”? that’s trans.

 and the fucking THANKSGIVING EPISODE... i struggle to watch it without crying hehe <3 yeowch! the dichotomy of willy jr. being the “wrong” kind of man because he’s “too soft” but jeff also not being enough despite adhering to all the social standards of masculinity... fuck!! this whole scene of him telling his dad “i am Not well adjusted” and talking about how he gave himself an “appendix surgery scar” when he was a kid and he still keeps the get-well-soon letters from his classmates under his bed? oh my god. the implication of people loving him not despite his scars but because of them?? trans. i can’t think about this episode for too long or i’ll start yelling.

OH and this scene? where he talks about how his mom got him a girl costume for halloween?? and everyone said “what a cute little girl” and after a few houses he stopped correcting them?? and “once the shame and the fear wore off, i was just glad they thought i was pretty”?? THAT’S TRANS... the man needs validation oh my god... and then in all the halloween episodes we see he has these ultra-masculine costumes (a cowboy, David Beckham, one of the fast and furious guys even though he never watched the movies, a boxer with his DAD’S boxing gloves... god) costumes are about becoming something else and he always chooses to be hypermasculine and that is trans.

THE PHYSICAL EDUCATION EPISODE!!!!!!! being uncomfortable during P.E. is a queer experience. period. but him being specifically uncomfortable in the clothes someone else is assigning to him? trans. “are we gonna talk about clothes like a girl? or use tapered sticks to hit balls around a cushioned mat like a man?” TRANS. and him eventually stripping in public? celebration of transness. and the fact that he eventually becomes comfortable in both the uniform and his own style!! trans!! god i love this episode. 

AND AND AND!!! the gay dean coming out episode!!! where it’s the three of them discussing the best way for the dean to come out as gay despite not entirely identifying with that label!! so we have both frankie and the dean who are sort of ambiguously queer, and jeff who’s a stealth trans man who’s probably only out to only the study group at this point. this scene where the dean and jeff have this like eyebrow communication while frankie is talking is just so cute. queer-to-queer communication. “I am so curious” “oh?” “intellectually.” “oh...” ajfdksljfk this scene just screams high school GSA to me and i love it so much.

and SPEAKING of the dean!! i totally see you on that. i feel like jeff has some internalized homophobia/biphobia (like he’d throw punches over someone else, but when it comes to himself he has a lot of shame). and also seeing the dean so confident in all his different outfits/costumes has a weird affect on him bc it’s like “okay, the dean, a cis guy, can do that, but i as a trans guy could Not because that’s Breaking the Rules”. which, like, throwback to the halloween thing. of course there’s no right way to be masculine, but mr. winger does not know that.

another thing!! the episode where their emails get leaked? that includes his emails with his therapist. fuck!! he was outed to the whole world in that episode!! no wonder he was so fucking angry!! this whole episode (and really any time he mentions his therapist) is so interesting when you think about them as a person he talks to about his transition. OH which adds to the thing with the dean!! “and you told your therapist you wanted to be alone this weekend” and “not you jeff, i know you’ll be visiting your dad” ”I told you to stop reading my emails”. luckily his study group has his back and just makes fun of him for emailing astronauts lmao

and WHO can forget “they’re giving out an award for most handsome young man!!!!” what else is there to say about this line besides: he’s trans. you know he didn’t get awarded enough for being a handsome young man when he was a kid, and no amount of compliments when he’s fully-grown can really make up for that. some people crash a kid’s bar mitzvah to cope with the fact that they struggled to be seen as themselves when they were a teenager <3

also his weird relationship with pierce? where he kind of hates him (understandably lmao) but at times has this almost-friends-almost-father-son relationship with him? especially in this episode where he’s forced to bond with him and ends up having a good time by accident (at a barber shop no less, the perfect place to Be A Man with your Man Friend). idk what to say about him besides the fact that pierce says his mom wanted a girl when he was born and made him dress like a girl (and his middle name is anastasia!) so if they’re gonna do any bonding over transness it’s gonna be that. 

okay one last thing and then i’ll shut up for the night. this episode kills me (and almost kills jeff hahahahelpi’mcrying). it’s a very Trans thing to not be able to visualize your future self, it just is. growing up trans at the time he did? i don’t know what kind of future he saw for himself, but i’m so happy that he ended up with a group of friends who became his family and love him the way they all do. i’m so emotional over this asshole it’s ridiculous. 

in conclusion:

they’re trans, your honor <3

[8-evil-annoying-catboys]

at my high school, when i was a senior, i had this nightmare teacher for government. talked down to students, made me out myself in front of the class and openly humiliated me about it, and right before i got top surgery when i told him i was going to be out for surgery and needed the homework for the next month, he asked me if it was a “medically necessary” surgery which was a complete invasion of my privacy as a student and absolutely was none of his business. i think having me as a student and knowing that this queer kid who clearly had an undiagnosed learning disability and autism was still smart enough to get a B+ in his class wore him down, because he finally retired when i graduated and he hadn’t mentioned any plans to do so the entire first semester when i was in his class.

i also happened to go to the same high school my mom went to. when she was in high school, 25 years before me, this teacher was her american history teacher. he was already known for being a grumpy old man then, and everyone was speculating on when he was gonna just retire already. and he stayed for another TWENTY-FIVE YEARS after that.

on the contrary, my favorite teacher ever, my english teacher in seventh grade, was in her first year of teaching when i was in her class. she left to a different school the very next year, to the devastation of almost every single student in our class alone, likely all of her classes bc she was awesome, bc all of us wanted to be able to go visit her the next year and none of us would be. granted, moving schools isn’t the same as burning out and quitting, but for some reason the good teachers never seem to stay in the same position one way or another, while the shittiest people who have no respect for their students can stay in the same position at the same school for so long everyone is praying for them to retire already, and then stay there for another quarter century after that.

Teachers have an extremely emotionally, physically and mentally taxing job. This often means that the teachers who joined the profession with a genuine desire to help kids wash out and become disillusioned after seeing the way parents are failing their children and the way the school system is failing them too. Teachers who got into the profession to lord power over vulnerable individuals and be miserable bastards usually stay forever though. I’ve never heard of a gym teacher being so fed up they quit. lol.

[archived-and-moving]

DANU DANU DANU

So in gsa today my friend let us know that he’s using he/they now, and we sort of got to just reminding people of pronouns in case there are changes anyone forgot or missed, etc and for my turn I said “all pronouns. All the pronouns” bc I’m not ready to specify ze/zir yet

And then my best friend who is wonderful and beautiful and I love him asked if that included it/it’s and neopronouns or just he/she/they and I said something like “it/it’s and neopronouns would be good, thanks” so I guess now I’m out with neopronouns even if not exclusively!!!

Our club leader said they didn’t really get why someone would use neopronouns and I prepared to slink into my hole of shame and internalized transphobia but then they said “but you do you” so maybe it’ll be okay

Also my friend got their top surgery scheduled and I am SO happy for them, good gender feelings all around :D

Alaskdjf;alskdfj Dude that's so cool!!!!! As Wyre said a while ago, the letter z is so gender, and I still agree w/ that to this day. It's so awesome that you came out with all pronouns though! That's a huge step in the direction of coming out with neos, so huge kudos to you. (Also he/they pronouns are awesome. I'm kind of a biased source but it's cool.)

Yeah! Sar I'm so proud of you rn you have no idea. Like, coming out with neopronouns is something that's really terrifying, and I'm so so incredibly glad that you have amazing irls who will support and love you for who you are. That's such an incredible thing to have, and it makes me so happy that you have a support system as cool as that.

Neopronouns are so incredibly unique and customizable to the user's euphoria, which is a huge pro, making it easier for you to find something that you really vibe with. (Like with the letter z or x, or pronouns that center around nouns/emojis.)

The only downside is that makes it hard for a lot of people, even some of those in the community to get behind. Sometimes people will come around, and other times they won't. But just know that me, an internet stranger thinks that your pronouns are cool, gender, and valid. Although that might not be as cool as someone you know irl, every little bit counts I hope.

Good gender feelings are awesome!! I hope your friend has a great time with their top surgery, and has a good recovery. I offer you and your friends a sincere congratulations, because coming to your own as a person and feeling good about it is a marvelous feeling. I'm so glad you guys got to experience it!

[adhdeancas]

Hey for prompts, Sam was watching Queer eye and Dean decided to join him for shits but it's the episode where they help a young trans man find himself and Dean has a small breakdown. (Specifically, the not-having-to-be-masc-100%-all-the-time and still be trans, and to still be able to play with clothes and styles)

i went back and watched part of this ep to remind me, that’s why it took me a sec. also took me a sec bc it’s been a WEEK for this trans man and even thinking about a point in which I am read enough as a guy to think about wearing feminine things as a guy gives me... feelings. ANYWAY enough about me, let’s read this

love you friend, hope you like it

Sam watches Queer Eye a while ago, when he was in a slump, and now he saves the episodes for bad days like Dean hoards brownie mixes in the pantry for when he feels really shitty. Dean’s walking past the living room with a beer when he hears somebody say “top surgery” and because he’s a nosy motherfucker, he peeks in. Sure enough, footage of some dude’s surgery is on the screen and Tan France is talking about how he doesn’t know anything about trans people.

Dean snorts and comes in, slumping down onto his chair. Sam looks up at him with a start. “Hate that. Learn your fucking history, dickhead.”

“Don’t call Tan a dickhead.”

“Sh, you’re just protective because you like swiss-tying your shirts or whatever.”

“French tuck.” Sam bitched, well aware Dean was being a jerk on purpose. “Besides, he needs to say it on the show, to learn and all that.”

Dean shrugs and steals a chip from Sam. They’re plantain chips, but they’re salty, so they’re good enough. He grins at the trans guy’s cat pee couch, “Cas would love that.” Sam is excited to learn how to make sushi via Antoni. They both go quiet when Skyler talks to Bobby about how his family didn’t accept him, and Dean draws his knees up to his chest. Unbidden, he knows they’re both thinking about all the shitty things their dad, their family, their hunter friends, random acquaintances have said to them throughout the years, whether knowing it was bad or not. Somehow those comments are never really forgotten. 

On the screen, the same thing is echoed: 

“I was always a really angry kid… because every day of my life, I wore a mask. So when you’re hearing constantly from the people that mean the most to you that what you are is awful…”

“You’re awful.”

“Yeah. And unacceptable. It really does a number on you.”

“Yeah.”

“So I was just pissed all the time.”

Sam clears their throat. 

The episode continues.

Skyler talks about being misgendered during surgery. “Yeah, me too man. You try getting top surgery 20 years ago.” Dean scoffs at the screen. Sam grins at him, like he always does when he talks to the TV. He always teases him that it’s an old man thing to do. 

Tan and Skyler talk about his style. It’s androgynous. “Dean, why don’t you ever wear stuff like that?”

Dean glares at him, looking from the flashy clothes to his brother. “I’m a dude.”

“So is Skyler.”

“Yeah but I’m a guy like…” he tries to think of how to make Sam understand. “I’m a guy like Bobby.” he’d almost said John, but changed last minute. He didn’t want to open that can of worms. He hadn’t worn his dad’s coat in years. 

“I thought you said you liked skirts.”

Dean stares resolutely at the screen, hoping Sam will get the hint. He does, sighing, and returns to the episode. There is an awesome moment where Skyler gets fitted for a suit, and Dean can feel the jealousy coursing through his veins. The baggy Fed suits hanging in his closet come to mind.

Skyler dresses in a sequined blazer and meets Todrick, his gender-bending gay idol, and they share a tearfilled conversation that Sam himself sniffs at. 

“You were so important to my transition, and recognizing that I am feminine and I am masculine, and that gets put into this perfect little ball that is me. But it took me a long time to be okay with that feminine side and seeing another queer man like you that owned all of it and just was so fabulous...”

Dean’s heart is clenching in his chest, and he digs his fingernails into his knees. His mind is stuck on the pair of satin panties he has in his underwear drawer, the pair he’s too afraid to ever wear just in case he got in a massive car accident and they had to cut open his pants or he had to do some emergency plumbing and bend down under the sink. Just in case anyone saw and thought... When the next episode starts, Dean reaches over to grab the remote and pause the TV. Sam looks at him expectantly. “Everyone looks hot in fishnets. Right?”

Sam laughs, but quiets quickly at the serious look on Dean’s face. “Yeah, sure. Everybody looks good in fishnets, I guess. Completely gender inclusive product.”

Dean rolls his eyes. “I just don’t-” he stops and works his jaw. Sam seems to get it. They’re used to choosing more conservative choices when he goes out, but when he chooses feminine ones, he relishes in the gender confusion he gives people. Dean just can’t stop thinking about how tiny his waist is or how big his hips are. How much of him shows. The idea that someone might confuse him for a girl. Again. 

“Yeah. I know.” Sam says softly. 

Dean nods. Nothing to do about it. “Guess I just have to quit being such a pussy, don’t I. Let people think what they think.”

“Other people perceiving you as a man doesn’t make you a man, Dean. Same way it doesn’t make me one.” Sam nudges his leg with his socked foot, and Dean reluctantly looks him in the eyes. “You’re a man. Even if you wear a skirt. Or fishnets.”

Dean clears his throat and stands up. “Yeah, I know.”

“Hey, I’m pretty sure Cas thinks fishnets are hot too.”

“Fuck you.” Dean bursts out laughing and stands up. “Alright… maybe.”

He can still hear Sam laughing as he continues down the hallway.

[smwelchh]

Ok so I know I have posted a s2 prediction a while ago but now that we know there is s2 I’m going to post and update prediction/wants

Let’s start with the kooks (since I’m clearly in love with Drew Starkey)

It’s also color coded bc I’m an organizational freak and I like things in a nice neat order. It will probably also have typos and some words left out but y’all will get the gist.

The Kooks

Rafe Cameron (people want redemption, but I honestly don’t think that would be good for him this season. Maybe later down the road)

Still under the pressure of Ward obviously

Still has a cocaine addiction

Trys to be as cool as possible when it comes to the shooting Perterkin

More back story on his life

Obviously Rose is a step mom so maybe his real mom leaving play a part in why Rafe does what Rafe does

What motivates Rafe other than pleasing his father and drugs

Topper Thornton

I think Topper slowly get redemption

I mean he saved John B in the bell tower that has to be a start right

I think he still simps over Sarah

I also think he trys to tell Kelce the truth about Rafe

Slowly starts a friendship with the Pouges

I think Topper and Rafe will still be friends but Top will be more reserved around him now

Kelce (idk his last name in the show)

MORE OF HIM

More

More

More

That’s all

No but seriously I want more of Kelce trying to figure out if he can trust Topper or Rafe

I also want to see Kelce and Pope form a friendship

Yeah just give me more Deion he’s a great actor who needs more credit

Ward Cameron

Eww

Go to hell

We don’t like you

But in actuality I think Ward gets what he deserves hopefully

Hopefully he gets charged with murder of Big John and of Scooter

We tend to forget about that Ward sent Scooter into the storm that killed him

And he should be charged with the murder of the mainlanders bc that was obviously Ward

Yeah jail time for boss man would be great

But he’s the biggest, richest kook on the island so I low key feel like he gets away with it

Rose Cameron

Honestly she is annoying to me

But I think she gets better

Obviously she is going to back her rich husband’s story about what happened

She still hates Rafe

Kinda trys to help find Sarah or something

Still doesn’t really care about Wheezie

That’s about it

Wheezie Cameron

Questions her whole life

Doesn’t know if she should believe Rafe and her father or Sarah

Gets super emotional when she finds out about Sarah being lost at sea

Low key over hears Ward and Rafe going over their story and tells all of the outer banks

Or maybe she hears them but doesn’t believe it idk Jonas work your magic

The Pouges

John B

Struggles to get the gold

Has to go on another treasure hunt

Bc lets face it Ward hid that shit

Deals with his emotions on his father being gone

Deals with how Sarah really feels

Finally calls the rest of the Pouges

His uncle comes back from Mississippi and find out he’s lost at sea and “murdered Peterkin”

I think I would also like to see his mom come back not sure through

Once he gets the gold back he would obviously have to figure out a way to get it back to the OBX.

When he gets back to the OBX he’s obviously going to split with the others but I also think he is going to work on being a better friend

And yeah that’s all I have for now

JJ Maybank

Let me start this by saying he should have been on the boat not Sarah, but that another story

I don’t want to think about this but he has to tell is dad what happened with the Phantom

His dad probably most likely will beat his ass

I think that he will permanently live at the Chataue or with Pope

Maybe forms a bond with Topper and low key work together to figure out what really happened on the runway

I also kind of think JJ gets the HMS and trys to find Sarah and John B that’s just the type of friend he is

I also think he finally speaks up about his abusive father to his the others and has a worse break down than the hot tub scene

I feel like there will be A LOT of crying bc of his story in s2

Pope Heyward

Pope and Kie are like “dating” the 1st couple of episodes but then I feel like by episode 3 they call things off bc it’s too weird

I think Pope gets a redemption interview

Might not get the full scholarship but gets a good amount of it

I think he forms a bond with Kelce and they low key work together to find out the truth

Then JJ and Topper find out and all 4 of them work together idk friends yay who knows maybe not and we still get the adrenaline rush from all the fights

I think Pope kind of drifts from the Pouges in the beginning to work on college stuff but then by the middle is like screw this is my friend still alive or nah

Kiara Carrera

Ditches Pope real quick

Pulls the “no Pouge on Pouge” rule

I WANT A FULL EPISODE DEDICATED TO HER KOOK YEAR

I think she had a thing with Rafe during that year and maybe that’s the real reason her and Sarah weren’t friends for a while

I low key want her to give her share of the gold to JJ or Pope since she was born a kook and knows they need it more than her

Sarah Cameron (she gets both colors bc of obvious reasons)

I think she somehow knew everything that happened was going to happen. Like idk how to explain.

Like I feel Sarah knew Ward was going to buy the Crain the house and take the gold from John B and the Pouges, but idk why I feel that way

I think while I’m the Bahamas she comes to realize that her father is a bad man and in no way can she trust him at all

Obviously she has her own things to deal with and I think she does work through some struggles

I also think once her and John B have the gold back in the outer banks she drops that boy like a hot pocket

I know Chase said he thinks John B and Sarah are end game but I don’t think so sorry bud you and Madelyn yeah I can see end game but not John B and Sarah

And I think that’s bc she lets someone get close gets what she wants and drops them

Hopefully she won’t do him dirty

But all in all I kinda liked Sarah but I have a feeling my view of her is gonna change in s2

The story enhancers

Peterkin

MOMMA IS ALIVE AND WELL

I think homegirl is in the hospital in recovery

I think she had to have emergency surgery to remove the bullet and patch her up and all that

She arrests Ward for what she was originally doing

Arrests Rafe for attempted murder and drugs

Finds out that John B is in the Bahamas and contacts him to let him him know he’s been cleared (since she low key watched out for him) and she knows everything that happens in the OBX

Also she reminds me of one of the principals I work for at one of the local high schools in my city

Shoupe

I think he starts to look into the Ward theory of things under the radar

Obviously the whole island still thinks John B did everything

But I think Shoupe slowly starts to put the pieces together and find out that Ward really killed Big John and Rafe really short Peterkin

I think he also finds out that Peterkin is alive but doesn’t tell anyone

Like I think he starts secret files at his house or something and has a whole different investigation going on outside of the police station

Bc you know “murder was the case that they gave me”

Barry

He is probably one of my favorite characters

Thank you Nick for being awesome at what you do, I know I’m supposed to hate you but it’s hard to do that

I think he keeps the secret about Rafe and Peterkin to himself for a little bit

But 25k is a lot of money that JJ took and he wants that back

He’s definitely going to still sell drugs

He definitely still going to call Rafe “country club”

I think for a while he holds the Peterkin thing over Rafes head

All in all I hope Barry doesn’t change other than like minor things that happen with people

Luke Maybank

For one Gary Weeks stand up job my friend

We were supposed to hate your character and we do we all do so fantastic job for doing your job

Also please don’t beat up JJ for taking the Phantom I know you probably will but please take this I to consideration

I have a feeling we will be seeing more of you in s2

Bc you need drugs and you like to abuse your son

I don’t think Luke gets any kind of redemption like at all

I do think he trys to act like he cares when JJ goes off the grid for a while ( he’s either at the chataue or popes or kies)

Then ends up beating his ass

But I think JJ beats his ass in return and stand up to Luke

So that’s all I have for y’all umm I’m open to discussion if you want or if you have questions. Umm yeah so have a lovely night (it’s 12:19 where I am) or afternoon or day ❤️

[felinepipebomb]

It’s always a bit weird to me to see things like not passing being grouped w stuff like not having dysphoria and/or not wanting to medically transition in trans positivity posts. This isn’t a criticism of those posts bc I think they r at best awesome and at worst just like ineffectually existing like there’s nothing wrong with them! It just strikes a chord with me because there are a Lot of different and nuanced and conflicting experiences within those things and I think the similarity being called upon in those posts is that they are all ways of existing as a trans person that are looked at as anarchic and less legitimate and less worthy of gender recognition and respect but that similarity is very much in like how we all are perceived rather than how we feel or perceive ourselves. Like my experience with being voluntarily and intentionally gnc now as a trans man who has been on T since 2018 and had top surgery last year is very very very different from the experience I had before any medical transition where I did not pass ever and ALWAYS had to come out and take the risk in order to get a Chance at being gendered correctly. Now I’m out to everyone I meet but it’s a choice I make because I want people to know that I’m trans-I don’t need to tell cis strangers that I’m male in order to be seen that way. And I experience very very little dysphoria personally-but the reason for that is because I take hormones and got surgery and unlearned internalized transphobia in a way that alleviated most of that dysphoria and replaced it with general comfort, so my life experiences and perspective on where I am now are going to be very different from those of someone who also experiences very little dysphoria without needing to be on hrt or surgically transition. I don’t have a huge point to this post but I think it’s kind of cool to see these points of solidarity between trans people with such different individual experiences and I also think it would be cool if it was something we elaborated more on! I love being in a group of people who have mutual respect for each other’s differences and a desire to listen and share without judgement and I think it’s both interesting and healing to do so.

[rikusuriuri]

kiryu + saejima :)

i love you <3

Kiryu

Sexuality Headcanon: gay homosexual (:

Gender Headcanon: trans man <3 

A ship I have with said character: majima um. or saejima but never ever together 

A BROTP I have with said character: nishiki + kashiwagi (: , saejima & majima, tanimura & akiyama (:, shinada begrudgingly just bc ges dating his son <3

A NOTP I have with said character: freak stuff idk uhh def nishiki for sure any of the women who come in for him not bc hes gay but bc rgg sets them up all to suck for various reasons 

A random headcanon: he likes cooking even though hes slow he didnt think hed like it at first but now well (:, he gets self conscious if anyone is taller than him but it's fine if it's a friend like saejima or majima or kashiwagi but shinada being taller than him pisses him off, very bad at spelling + reading, he doesnt like lizards, he came out after nishiki (: for being trans not too long after but being a homo took a while, he now knows harukas idol dances and now he thinks dancing is a cool workout theres no going back and hes prideful as hell nothing to be ashamed of

General Opinion over said character: i love you my dearest most beloved friend you are so awesome i love you so so much mwuah 

Saejima

Sexuality Headcanon: bisexual hes so bisexual but he never tells anyone, very secretive and private the rest of the party (see: tanimura and akiyama) have bets going on whether hes gay or not but nothings coming up anytime soon 

Gender Headcanon: trans man (: he and majima started T together and planned to get top surgery together but then everything got fucked and now they're just here tits and all and we love him for it 

A ship I have with said character: kiryu (: i suppose .they are very cute very sweet

A BROTP I have with said character: majima <3 but also kiryu and also everyone else in 4 and 5 and ofc his baby sister <3 hes just a very good older brother to everyone well all his adult friends at least 

A NOTP I have with said character: majima >_> other weird stuff likke tanimura or whatever else freak shit idk but none of them are as popular 

A random headcanon: hes become a regular at the cat cafe but hes kind of shy about it hes a little obsessed a little hooked he keeps trying to rename the cats but they already have names he just wants to name them something cooler or more fitting, he wants to grow his hair out again so bad but the phases of shaved to long feel so awful and ugly not that he cares but majima would say something to him so hes just convincing himself that this is less work and it looks fine but he misses it, he never answers his phone but he even less frequently ever answers texts or emails he hates trying he thinks if you have something to say say it to his face, he loves woodwork and just any sculpting in general he wants to be part of the snow fest so bad his dream woodwork is a clock but he just sticks to dolls and animals and etc, he cries during every movie and it's really ugly sniffling sobbing he cant help it hes better at holding it in for url situations but hes an empathetic watcher, majima got him into karaoke otherwise hes a shy singer/cheerer, hes very good w kids he gets emo when he gets to work w them it's his old teacher dream he just wants to guide them and help them all he wants them all to have happy lives he knows how hard it can be

General Opinion over said character: i love him so much my large friend my beloved my brother my everything my silly rabbit i love him hes so dear to me so funny so good so sweet so kind