#and maybe i'll find the motivation to write again

[zyxoxox]

Salted caramel + pudding + 😩🐥🐻

syn: the king of curses finds himself wrapped into a scheme- a marriage?!

ryomen sukuna x reader // reader is a little shit and we are here for it. we love a girl who knows what she wants. tw. descriptions of pain, lowkey torture? sukuna is mean

note: i spent a lot of time thinking who to match you with, somehow completely missing your pfp and blog, and eventually went with sukuna. it was only after i started writing this did i open your blog- so just know y'all are a match from heaven okay!!

"best you watch your words, mortal."

sukuna sat on his throne of skulls, gazing down upon you. it was a miracle he hadn't finished you off yet, but you'd managed to intrigue him quite a bit.

"or what? you'll kill me? i wouldn't mind that, actually-"

before you could finish your sentence, you felt a sharp pain stab through you like a needle, forcing you to kneel.

"i said, watch your words." sukuna's gaze had narrowed, but his stance hadn't changed an inch. almost unbothered, even. "you are lucky that i'm feeling benevolent today."

you smiled through grit teeth, meeting his eyes. "then, allow me to be so bold as to make a deal."

the pain flared again, all but face planting you to the ground. it filled your blood, paralyzing your limbs, warning you of the dangerous game you were playing- but you still hadn't had enough.

"you should remember that you are not on the offense, mortal," he reminded, looking at your cowered form. "but, considering i haven't killed you thus far, i'll give you a last wish. before you die, that is."

just what you'd hoped. with some strength, you managed to lift your head high enough to meet his eyes again.

"it's just my soul you want, not my life, right? i'll give it to you, willingly-"

"oh? i've never met a mortal so suicidal. maybe that explains your cheekiness."

"-on one condition: you don't kill me. you marry me instead."

the room filled with a deafening silence.

a marriage? was the mortal before him utterly delusional?

the force holding you down lifted, and you got back to your feet. you dusted your knees, as if not just in debilitating pain, and gave him a mischevious grin.

"and how does that benefit you?" he asked, almost in disbelief. "i am not hiding some kinder alter ego underneath. i would not treat you well, if that's what you're hoping."

you laughed "you needn't worry, i'll take care of that! think about it, if you kill me now, my soul is yours once. but if i'm alive, then i can offer it to you willingly, however many times you want. tempting, no?"

not at all, sukuna wanted to say, but then he'd be lying. you clearly had some ulterior motive, and if he killed you now, he'd never find out what it was.

but considering how you seemed to welcome the notion of death, torturing you for answers didn't seem quite effective either. you seemed to have a worst case i die, best case i'm married mindset, and the only way to get what he wanted was to indulge you further.

he was frustrated, but at a stalemate.

just for answers. after i get them, i'll kill this mortal off and teach them the lesson they deserve.

yes, that was what he was telling himself. answers. he just needed an explanation. there was no other intent for his actions. and no other inexplicable reason for him to say,

"very well, mortal. the wedding's on the next new moon. you best be prepared, it won't be fun."

[crow-winged-wolf]

I need motivation to finish and post my story. So... I'm posting the first "chapter" here, so peeps can criticize (Or go wild over!) my writing lol. Also, don't be surprised if black and white sketchy doodles crop up, a few scenes have stuck in my memory and I want to doodle them. Probably no color, but doodles yes lol. This chapter is called "Dinnertime" in my lineup of chapters, (Not ready to name drop the fic yet) It comes early in the story. The first full chapter that isn't the intro chapter. I truly hope you like it, you can read it below the cut. (Nothing NSFW, but the story as a whole is 18+. This chapter is PG 13 tho lol)

Dinnertime

She came into the dining hall to the sound of Lucanis busy at the kitchenette, Spite apparently over his shoulder and muttering something that was making Lucanis appear frustrated.

“No, stop suggesting that.” Lucanis growled, Rook catching his frustration.

“Spite, stop.” She commanded, the spirit looking up at her and scowling. She cocked an eyebrow at him, but couldn't tell if it helped at all as Spite grumbled something in her direction, but fell silent for the moment.

Lucanis sighed, shaking his head. “Thank you, but he's relentless today.”

“I'm sorry, I tried.”

“It's fine.” He nodded. “Do you need something? It's close to dinner, so I don't suggest eating anything, but if you want some coffee while you wait, I made a fresh batch.” He chuckled, motioning to the steaming coffee pot off to the side. Rook graciously took a mug, sipping at the slightly too hot liquid as she perched herself on the counter behind him.

Whatever Lucanis was cooking made her stomach ache with suddenly discovered hunger, her coffee now unsatisfying in comparison. She decided to strike up a conversation to distract herself from the hunger pains instead of just suffering in silence. “So, what were you and Spite arguing about before?” She asked as she rested her elbows on her knees, crossing her ankles and swinging them idly. It seemed like he wanted to answer her, but thought better of it and shook his head.

“Nothing that concerns you, Rook.” He mumbled.

“You sure?” She chuckled, Lucanis nodding hesitantly. “Okay.” She mumbled. For a Master Assassin, he was extremely transparent around her. “So, that smells amazing and somewhat familiar, what is it?” She asked, staring at the large pot of gently bubbling food. Lucanis hummed as he stepped away from his culinary creation, Rook watching in intrigue.

“I made chicken scampi, since I found out you are very much not a fan of fish.” He turned to find her sitting on the counter, looking rather proud of herself for being in his way. He wanted to be upset, but couldn’t quite summon the anger needed, instead settling her with a raised eyebrow. “It doesn't pair well with coffee, but… I have a few bottles of wine at the ready that work much better.”

Rook stilled, eyes flickering between the dinner simmering on the stove, and him. “You… you didn’t have to do anything special for me.” She stammered, sitting up slightly as he neared her.

“Yes I did.” A smirk pulled at his lips, Rook unable to suppress the smile that was trying to crack her face. She wasn’t used to anyone going out of their way for her when it came to her picky tastes, this was… good different.

“That sounds great, I'll tell the others!” Rook grinned, moving to get off the counter, but halting as he rested his hands on either side of her legs and leaned in close to her, caging her in.

“You’re on my counter.” He mused quietly with a smirk.

Rook smiled back, tipping her head to the side in unsaid defiance.“Well, you’re welcome to remove me, if you want.” Her voice was a low purr, her eyes darkening.

“Maybe I…” He stopped, eyes searching her face, then stepped back. “Sorry,” He breathed, Rook catching his wrists. Not again. He wasn't chickening out again. She pulled him into a hug, sighing over his shoulder.

“I’ll go tell the others dinner is ready.” She said morosely, Lucanis nodding. She waited until he hesitantly pulled away, sliding off of the counter and chancing another glance at him. She was close enough to just steal a kiss right now, but… She gently reached up, placing a hand at his collarbone. Hopefully that was enough for both of them. She saw his arm twitch, as if he wanted to place his hand over hers, but restrained himself. With a curt nod, she headed out of the dining area, Lucanis quietly watching her go.

I smell smoke. Meat charring.

“MIERDA!” Lucanis yelped, grabbing for the pot and stirring it, hoping it wasn’t actually burnt.

When she came back, it was with the majority of their companions, and to the sight of the table set for all of them, two plates in particular catching her eye. The wine glasses were already filled, the plates had food on them, they were side by side, and Lucanis was already sitting at one of them with his hands entwined and supporting his chin over it. He seemed deep in thought, sitting up straight when everyone came in. When Rook went to take a seat across from him, he gave her a disappointed look, glancing at the plate next to him.

Next to him? She circled around the table, pretending to examine the food in the pot before stopping in front of the set place setting. “Is that mine?” She asked gingerly in Antivan, glancing at the others to see if they noticed. He nodded shortly, Rook laughing quietly to herself. She set her hand on his shoulder as she swung her legs over the bench seat one at a time, sitting down and smiling clumsily at him. “Grazie.”

As she dropped her hand from his shoulder, he caught it under the table, leaning into her side. “We need to discuss your Antivan, you speak like an old nonna.” He murmured, his dialect different from hers and taking her a moment to recognize. Up until now, she knew he could speak Antivan, but didn’t know it was a different Antivan.

“Yes, it’s the same Antivan I’ve spoken since I was nine.” She laughed. “You’re the one mispronouncing shit.”

“Are you two gossiping about us in another language?” Harding giggled, looking between the two of them in a mock scolding manner. Both blushed as they shifted away from each other, a few of the others laughing at their reaction.

Dinner went by with fantastic company, and Rook discovering she loved chicken scampi. Lucanis was practically elated to see her devouring it so heartily and returning for seconds, many of their friends mentioning they weren’t used to the tiny Elf eating so much, but Nels didn’t care. This was amazing, and she was very vocal to Lucanis about it every chance she got. Mostly just to see him look embarrassed by the positive attention. She also had an inkling Spite was adding his own commentary too, as he was having difficulty looking at her at times.

When the others had left, she remained to help clean the dishes, Lucanis glancing at her out of the corner of his eye every now and again. “Is something wrong?” She laughed as she carefully dried the dish in her hands with the cloth, setting it on the pile to be put away.

“Curious about you.” He mumbled in Antivan, Rook stiffening.

“About?” She asked in Common, not playing into his game.

He gazed at her proper, a wry smile pulling at his lips. “Where did you learn Antivan? No one speaks like that.”

“Salle. Everyone in Salle speaks like that.” She laughed, Lucanis's brow furrowing. “What? I was a de Riva, this shouldn’t be a surprise to you. We de Riva live in Salle.”

He made a surprised noise in his throat, shaking off the shock and resuming his work on cleaning the dishes. “I forgot you were House de Riva. That makes sense.”

“How did you forget?” She giggled.

“It makes sense why you speak like a Nonna. Viago was your Talon.” He chuckled. “And you did tell me you were a de Riva while in the Ossuary. Unfortunately, I was focused on other things at the time.”

“Ah, yeah, that makes sense.” She nodded. “And I was House de Riva. I'm not as long as I'm exiled.” She murmured, her tone sad and pained. Lucanis noticed, smiling softly at her.

“We don't need to tell anyone, Rook de Riva.”

She laughed at how he rolled the r’s in her name, gazing up at him. “Well, as long as we are saying my name, it's actually Neliel de Riva.” She was partial to Nels, too, but one step at a time.

His smile grew wider, one eyebrow arching at her. “I was wondering. ‘Rook’ was a rather on-the-nose name for a Crow.” He dried his hands, holding one out to her. She took it cautiously, confusion etched across her face. “Lucanis Dellamorte.” He stated.

“I know who you are.” She laughed, even more confused.

“Yes, but did I introduce myself?” His smirk grew wider as Nels laughed louder.

“No you didn't. So Lucanis, and Spite.” She replied.

“And Spite.” He nodded in agreement, returning to washing the dishes.

“Who properly introduced himself by punching you in the face.” She muttered as Lucanis chuckled dryly.

You wouldn't let me. Talk to Rook. Spite grumbled.

“Yes.” He sighed.

“Has he done that recently?”

“No, he's gotten better since our agreement. Which reminds me, I should put a pot on.” He turned to attend to filling a pot with water and situating it on the stove, Nels looking around at the dining space. She remembered when they had first come to this place. Just the four of them. This whole area was dark, dirty, and lifeless. Shortly after Lucanis joined the group, he had it cleaned up and looking warm and inviting again. More chairs for the table, a fire in the hearth, and the pantry cleared out and replenished. She wandered over to the fireplace, turning a chair to face it and sitting down tiredly.

It was a rare moment of calm for her. She wasn't being called away, there were no urgent threats that she needed to attend to, no one was injured or dying. She could just sit and think. He caught the usually upbeat expression fade from her lips, her eyes dulling as the mask slipped and she set her arms on her knees and let her shoulders sag forwards. He knew that look all too well. She was tired. He wanted more than anything to bring her some form of comfort, perhaps tell her she could take the day off or something, but he knew that wasn't possible. The best he could do was gently hold out a mug of coffee to her, wishing to let his fingers start across her hand, her arm, her shoulder in support or comfort when she took it.

Instead, he pulled one of the other chairs over to sit in, close enough to count as company, far enough she was safely out of reach. She thanked him quietly for the coffee, blowing softly on the liquid before taking a sip.

~

Nels sighed forlornly as she crossed the small square, not entirely happy to have left the kitchen, both because it was dark, and because Lucanis was there. But she was exhausted, and falling asleep at the table was going to annoy him. And he would probably insist she use his cot if she was going to sleep, which would make her feel horrible for taking the only thing he could sleep on, even if it appeared painfully uncomfortable.

She winced as she searched for the source of the light. The fact that there was no day night cycle here was jarring. She was tired, but the light suggested it was the middle of the day. She waved tiredly at the Caretaker as he materialized at the base of the gaudy wolf statue, halting a moment later when he spoke.

“You are the only one to not shape your space to your needs.”

“Sorry?”

“No need to apologize, young traveler. Simply place your hand on the door and think about what you want.”

Neliel turned to regard the Caretaker properly. “Just… wish it into existence?”

“Yes.” Her eyes flickered to the dining area, the Caretaker noticing. “He requested repairs to the cooking area, more chairs for the table, and a chandelier. All fulfilled.”

“Ah. Well… thank you.” She mumbled, nodding. That room had been just a room she crashed in when exhausted for the longest time, it was going to be nice to have it feel more familiar. She dragged herself through the Lighthouse, pausing at the top of the hallway to her room, peering down the hall to the infirmary. She let out a short laugh as she drifted down that hall instead, pushing the door open slowly and letting it close behind her as she entered. “Varric? Hey, how are you feeling?”

~

“Neliel.” Spite rasped, the sound the closest to a pleased chirp he could manage.

“Yes, her name is Neliel.” Lucanis mumbled distractedly, trying to focus on his book.

“Nnnnnneliel.”

Lucanis rolled his eyes, glaring at the demon. “Are you going to keep repeating her name now?”

“Rook is easier. Neliel is prettier.” Spite purred, drifting closer to the door and reaching out. He recoiled from the barrier as the rune to keep him in activated, Spite frowning at the shock. Lucanis chuckled, shifting against the stone wall as he tried to pass the noise off as a cough. “You should visit Neliel.”

“No, I’m going to stay here.” He answered in that bored, flat tone again.

“She likes you. Won’t hurt you. Wants to be near you.”

Lucanis peered up from over his book at the demon. “Yes, I know.” He said slowly.

“Want to visit Rook.”

“Not tonight, Spite.”

“Not sleeping! Visit Rook! Neliel!” He advanced on Lucanis, stomping closer, his feet making no sound despite his attempt to be intimidating.

“Not tonight, Spite.” He said more forcefully, putting the book down to glare up at the demon, neither backing down. He might not have been as worried about being punched anymore, but he knew Spite had other ways of hurting him if he truly wanted.

“Not fair.” The demon pouted, crossing his arms and dropping to the ground like a child to sit in front of Lucanis.

“Sorry, Spite. A lot of things aren’t fair.” He mumbled. “We can visit later when everyone is waking up again. Or she might visit us.”

~

Nels was exhausted at this point as she dragged her feet down the hallway, rubbing at her eyes tiredly. Just a quick nap. She just needed to sleep for a few minutes. As she reached the door, she remembered what the Caretaker had said. Just… wish it? She pressed her forehead to the solid wood of the door, placing her palms on the worn surface, and closed her eyes. She wanted to be home. She wanted to be in her room again. The large bay window where her toxic garden grew, her bookshelves of stories and plants, the plush four poster bed with gentle indigo drapings, her sectioned off area for mixing her poisons… She really missed home. Fuck she missed home. She wanted her room in Salle back so bad. She had no idea if her belongings were even there anymore. Her plants were probably dead, her ingredients dried up, her bed repurposed for someone else to sleep in.

She sighed against the wood, opening her eyes slowly, staring at the dark grain in front of her face. She was foolish to think any part of the world would wait for her. That’s not how it worked, ever. She pushed the door open, sighing heavily and stumbling forwards to be met with that low, darkwood shelf, her trinkets littering the surface. As usual. Her eyes travelled up to… wait, was that her bed? The room was much different. In place of a fish tank, a hazy set of arched windows greeted her, a few empty pots littering the surface in front of it. Her bed sat against one wall, the ugly green couch stubbornly still in front of her with a shelf set along its back, but it seemed to fit in with the touches of green throughout the room. The walls were adorned with various Crow and plant related decorations where bookshelves didn’t cover, her new Antivan coffee press proudly displayed on a small cabinet to her right. Her direct left held her wardrobe and a chest for her weapons and weapon care.

What shocked her the most was the two side rooms. Two? One led to a washroom, complete with a tub, the other a small space with plenty of empty vials, decanters, tables, and wax. Makers blood, this was a poison mixing room. The whole place was reminiscent of her old room. She flopped down on the bed, moaning happily into the pillows. This could be her home. This was amazing. “Thank you!” She shouted at the ceiling, grinning wide enough to crack her face. This was what she needed.

[imagine-knowing-a-name]

I have officially discontinued the In the Background and Half of my Hometown series, which you probably could have assumed given the shocking lack of updates and my disappearance.

However, if there are any of you left who read those fics:

a) thank you for reading them and I'm sorry I never finished them.

b) I did have a whole plan so if you do what to know the intended summary of the series then feel free to ask :)

[junkissed]

goodnight n go

★ | member — fwb!vernon x f reader ★ | genre — smut, angst, non-idol au, happy ending, fwb to lovers ★ | word count — 10.2k

★ | synopsis — you keep coming back for more, but every night ends the same. maybe this time things will be different.

★ | warnings — guitarist!vernon, rock band!hhu, mentions of alcohol, vernon has commitment issues (but he gets over it) ★ | smut warnings — descriptions of female anatomy, consensual drunk sex, car sex, oral (reader receiving), fingering, piv, making out, multiple orgasms, pussy drunk vernon (he's down baddd), some aftercare ★ | notes — thanks to @onlymingyus for always being the best and to @wonustars for proofreading !! i did not intend for this fic to be this long but i'm actually really proud of how it turned out so i hope you like it!! also i often make playlists for my fics but i never share them, but i've been listening to this one for months while i've been writing this fic so i'll link it so you can listen too. if you enjoy this fic, please reblog and let me know in the tags!! reblogs are super important to tumblr and they help motivate me to keep writing more like this :)

check out the playlist! featuring — goodnight n go - ariana grande ; black eye - vernon ; uh oh - tate mcrae ; sunset - caroline polachek ; romanticise this - james marriott ; entertainer - zayn ; & more

“hey, you wanna get drinks tonight?”

as usual, that’s how it starts.

you probably should have said no. you’d played this game before. you knew exactly what hansol meant when he offered to hang out after band practice, because it was never just “hanging out”.

you don’t even know why you still go to practices anymore. for a long time you’d avoided them; it wasn’t really your style, and you were never interested in being a groupie for their local gigs. your roommate seungcheol always invited you to every practice and every time you declined with the excuse of homework or other plans, but cheol finally convinced you to come just one time.

at first, it had been because he wanted you to hear a new song they were working on and he’d wanted to know how you liked it before they played it at an upcoming show. but then he’d introduced you to the rest of his bandmates, and after that there was no going back.

you couldn’t help the way your eyes always gravitated towards hansol, who insisted that you call him his real name instead of his stage name that everyone else called him. from the very first practice, you were captivated by him: the way his long fingers seem to dance along the neck of his guitar so effortlessly, the way his voice rasps when he sings, the way your breath catches in your throat when he grips the microphone stand and rolls his head back, lips parted in ecstasy.

he’s addictive, and it’s exactly the reason why you find yourself in the backseat of his car over and over again.

every time, it was easy to pretend that things would be different. you’d walk into the bar together and sit at the table in the back, order a few drinks, chat for a while about nothing. did you like the new stuff we played tonight? yeah, i know cheol is really excited to perform it saturday. you been doing any writing lately? mmm, a little. i’ve been feeling inspired. we could go back to my place and i could show you. except he never does.

hansol wasn’t a bad guy. he always paid for your drinks no matter how many times you offered to pick up the tab, he was polite, he listened to what you had to say. he just didn’t want more than that, and that’s where it all fell apart. you’d screw around for a while, then you’d part ways and wouldn’t speak to each other until next week. you never went to see them play shows, he never texted, you never called, never went on a real date besides meeting in the same bar down the street every thursday night after practice.

he seemed fine with that. you weren’t. and yet every time, you ended up back in his arms.

he groans into your mouth, pushing his hips into you and pinning you harder against the faded leather seats of his old honda. his lips are sloppy but eager, messily pressing his mouth into yours as his fingers tangle in the hair at the base of your neck. you can taste the beer and smoke on his breath, but for some reason it doesn’t bother you. maybe you’re used to it, or maybe it’s just because it’s him. you don’t want to know which reason is the truth.

he kisses you until you’re dizzy, and you can’t tell if it’s from the alcohol or from the thrill of kissing him once again. it’s a high you’re convinced you’ll never get tired of, although you’re not quite sure yet if it’s one that he will.

hansol always lets you set the pace, but tonight he can’t seem to keep his hands to himself. both of your shirts met the floor of his car what seems like hours ago, leaving you in just your bra and pants as he makes out with you as if it’s the first and last time he’ll get that chance. his fingers breeze over your waist the same way they breeze over his guitar strings when he plays: careful yet greedy, each touch intentional yet impulsive as he grips your waist.

he drags his fingers higher and it sends a shiver down your spine, arching your hips up against him and rolling your head back against the seat’s headrest. if there’s only one upside to this relationship, it’s that he’s good at this. really good. if he weren’t, then you wouldn’t have spent so many nights letting him fuck you in the parking lot of your shitty local bar. it does something for your confidence knowing that he must feel the same about you, or else he wouldn’t keep inviting you out. at the very least, this arrangement is mutual, even if you wish it wasn’t.

his hips rock against your crotch again, and even through both of your clothes you can feel how hard he is. your mind is clouded, everything’s a haze, and all you can think about is how badly you want him. the warmth of his skin, the gentle scratch of his nails on the back of your neck, his long eyelashes that flutter against your cheek as he kisses you.

you feel your hands slide haphazardly down his bare chest, fumbling over his hips as you tug on the waistband of his jeans. none of it feels graceful, not like the way he handles his music. it’s sloppy, desperate, clumsy, and it’s everything you need right now.

he manages to lean back from you enough to undo his pants and push them down to his knees, but his mouth is back on yours in an instant. somehow you end up on your back across the seats, gazing up at him with slack lips as his thin silver chain dangles over your face. you might not remember a lot of what happens on these nights when you’re with him, but you’ll always remember this moment. him hovering above you with heavily lidded eyes, biting his lip and cursing as he pushes into you, is etched into your mind in a way you simultaneously love and hate. love because it feels so good, hate because it never lasts.

the last half of those nights never stands out in your memory. you remember feeling good, you remember trembling in his arms and gasping and moaning and crying in pleasure, but the images are too fuzzy to make out. you don’t really need to reflect on them anyway; you know he’ll just bring you out next week and do it all over again.

hansol kisses you once more after you’re both finally spent, but the kisses afterwards are always different. more… hesitant, more uncertain. none of the passion and desperation that you’ve come to crave from him. not what you really want.

“i can drive you home,” he offers once he’s finished cleaning you up. for once you think he might genuinely mean it, but you can never be sure enough to take that chance. you want him to drive you home. god, you want him to so bad. to have him come over with you and stay the night, stay another night and another until your apartment isn’t just yours anymore, that’s what you’ve wanted all this time. and it’s what you’ll never have.

“i’ll call an uber,” you answer.

“i’ll wait with you, then.”

the silence that settles over his car is heavy as you climb back into the front passenger seat. you want to tell him to get in the uber with you, stay more than just a couple hours with you in the furthest back corner of the bar parking lot that’s too far to be illuminated by streetlights. you want to argue that he’s too drunk even to drive himself, that he needs to come home with you and sleep it off together in the comfort of your bed, but you know it’s not true and it won’t work. this is a conversation you’ve had many times before. every night you’ve spent with him blurs into the next, always the same. 

sometimes you want to laugh at how naive you are, for thinking he’d eventually come to his senses and realize there’s more to you than a good lay before a gig. sometimes you want to grab him and shake him by the shoulders and tell him to grow the fuck up, give him an ultimatum and make him tell you what he wants from you or else put an end to it all. sometimes you just want to cry, to mourn your wasted time when you’re fully aware it’s never going to lead to something more, no matter how badly you want it and how hard you try.

no matter how many times you get your hopes up, no matter how many times you pray and beg and plead with god and the universe and every other higher power to get him to realize this can’t keep going on the way it is forever, nothing ever changes. you’re never going to stop running to him when he calls, and he’s never going to stop calling.

finally another car pulls into the lot, and you manage to pull yourself out of his car. you hear your name behind you and you stumble, swaying on your feet as he rolls down his window.

maybe this time will be different.

he says his usual goodbyes and goodnights, flashing you a loose grin and a wave as his engine sputters to life, and he asks if you’re planning on coming to practice next week. 

and you find yourself nodding.

you’re left standing there, your head and your heart pounding, watching his headlights fade as he drives away, until you’ve stood there for so long that your ride starts honking and calling for you to get in the car so you can leave.

maybe next time will be different.

this is going to be the last time, you swear.

you exhale as you stand inside the lobby of the venue, repeating the words to yourself. there’s a chill in the air tonight. the wind blows smoke in your direction from the couple standing by the door, abandoned cigarettes clutched between their fingers as they make out sloppily.

you grimace and turn away, studying the faded graffiti and half-ripped posters and advertisements that litter the walls around you. you mean it this time, seriously. the only reason you came tonight was because it’s the last time. a goodbye, of sorts.

you have to admit, you were a little shocked when hansol texted you after your weekly meet-up after practice. not only did he want to make sure you got home safe after you left, but he’d asked if you’d come to their next performance.

you stare down at your phone in your hand, rereading the texts for what feels like the thousandth time in the past few days just to make sure you haven’t imagined them. but no, there they are, bright pixels staring right back up at you from the screen.

hansol: hey just wanted to make sure you made it back home

hansol: btw we’re playing at the phoenix on saturday and i was wondering if you had plans? i wanna see you

hansol: maybe we could get dinner after or somethin if youre down idk

hansol: hoping youll be there

you’d been tempted to refuse him, out of bitterness or resentment or something else, but you can’t say you weren’t shocked by his offer. he’d suggested every once in a while that you should come see them play sometime, but it was always clear to both of you that it was out of small talk rather than genuine interest in you being there. but this time he’d said he wanted you there.

it was nice to feel wanted, for once. maybe you hadn’t been going crazy. maybe things really were different this time.

you glance at your phone once more to check the time before you slip it into your pocket, taking a deep breath as you walk through the second set of doors into the main room. you can hear the deep sound of wonwoo’s drums warming up, but the stage is obscured behind a ratty set of faded red curtains.

there’s still a few minutes before their set, but the room is already crowded with people so you push your way to the side wall near the back. you don’t really want anyone to see you here, anyway. you don’t want anyone to see that your resolve is paper-thin when it comes to hansol.

you hadn’t told him that you were coming tonight, just sending him a vague response and telling him you’d have to see if your schedule is free. even that felt too generous, after the anguish he’s put you through the past few weeks. he doesn’t need to know that you’re here, just like he doesn’t need to know the real reason you’ve been avoiding ever coming to see him play. and it’s not because you always have other plans.

you’re hoping to just watch the performance quietly from the back, then sneak out without ever having to talk to him, and text him later that you’d enjoyed it. you already knew you were going to enjoy it. you’d heard every original song, cover, and riff they’d ever played together, and at this point you could probably recite their setlist by heart. anyone could see that they were talented together, so it isn’t surprising that the venue is packed tonight. honestly, it’d be for the better if you got lost in the crowd and never saw him face to face.

the house lights suddenly fade into darkness and the crowd starts to quiet, the curtains finally pulling back to reveal the band. seungcheol stands in front of a microphone in the center of the stage, with wonwoo in the back at his drum set and mingyu to his left holding a bass guitar. and then, of course, there’s hansol.

you hate the way your gaze immediately lands on him, standing in the same position he always does, with his guitar slung around his neck by a thick red strap. the crowd starts cheering, and distantly you recognize seungcheol’s voice introducing the group, but you can’t make out any of his words.

your mind flashes back to all the nights you’ve spent sitting on a folding chair in mingyu’s garage, watching them laugh and bicker and fool around. it’s different seeing them actually on a stage for once, the metal of their instruments glinting under the harsh, colorful stage lights.

it’s not a large stage by any means, just a few feet higher than the ground and barely wide enough for all four of them to fit. but their presence is captivating, and it makes the dingy local theater seem more special than it really is. but then again, hansol makes everything seem more special than it really is.

seungcheol finishes speaking and the crowd around you lets out whoops and cheers, but you stay silent. your eyes are still stuck on hansol, watching him scan the crowd as he twists the tuning pegs on his guitar.

even from the back of the room, you can tell he’s nervous. his fingers shake just a little, in a way you know they never do because you’ve watched him tune his guitar a thousand times under the dim interior lights in his car. you watch his eyes dart around the room, squinting to see into the crowd before turning his attention back to the fretboard in his hands.

he’s not the most outgoing guy in the world, but at the same time you know he’s not the kind of person to get stage fright. something is different this time. or, maybe it’s not. you’ve never actually seen him play in front of an audience. you don’t know him as well as you think you do, you have to constantly remind yourself every time your mind starts to wander and you let yourself daydream. after all, he doesn’t know anything about you, and he doesn’t seem to care enough to learn. neither should you.

the band opens with a song you’ve heard a thousand times, then another and another, pausing after every few songs to talk to the crowd. time seems to fly by around you, but everything moves in slow motion when you're looking at hansol. you study the way his hair falls in soft brown waves around his face, his head bobbing to the rhythm as he strums his guitar. it's one thing you've always enjoyed about watching him play; he always gets so lost in the music, and it's fascinating to watch. it's clearly on the list of things he's passionate about, and even if you aren't one of those things, at least you get to see him doing something he loves. 

you shake your head, trying to clear your thoughts. you can't let yourself think like that. you're here to end things, not to reminisce. you shouldn't care if he likes music or not, that's not your problem anymore. he's not your problem anymore.

you zone out for a while, trying hard not to think about him but he's the only thing you can focus on. your eyes wander every once in a while, when you hear cheol's raspy voice in the mic or a particularly cool guitar riff from mingyu, but they always end up back at hansol.

they finish playing what you know is their last song, but the crowd is still bursting with electricity. it’s not long before everyone starts to chant, begging for one more song.

“encore?” seungcheol laughs into the mic, and flashes one of his signature dazzling smiles that sends the group of girls standing in front of you into hysterics. he glances over at hansol and nods. “mmm, yeah. i think we can do one more.”

you fold your arms over your chest. now is probably your best chance to leave. it’s not a very big venue, but from the amount of people here it’s obvious that there’ll be chaos once things are over as people start to file out. though most of them will probably be trying to fight their way to the front instead, giving wonwoo their phone numbers written on stained cocktail napkins and asking mingyu to sign their tits. but just as you’re about to start pushing your way back towards the exit, cheol’s deep voice makes you pause.

“we’re gonna play something real special tonight,” he says, making eye contact with hansol again. “something brand new, that we’ve never performed before. you guys wanna be the first to hear it?”

the room erupts into cheers again, and cheol grins. “yeah, i figured. so, i’m gonna let vernon explain this one. take it away, man.”

you stand still, arms crossed and curiosity piqued. maybe you can wait until after the last song. if this is going to be your last hurrah, then you might as well see it through til the end. just this once, and never again.

hansol clears his throat and looks out into the darkened theater. “this song is about a girl i’m in love with,” he starts. that gets a light laugh out of the crowd, a couple whistles and cheers, and he chuckles into the microphone before continuing. the words that have been brewing in your head for weeks seem to instantly melt on your tongue as his voice rings in your ears, echoing through your mind. that’s not you. that’s definitely not you.

“i hope she’s here tonight, but i wouldn’t blame her if she wasn’t. because i think i kind of fucked everything up.” he swallows, his eyes darting back and forth as he scans across the crowd, searching for something. searching for you? “so if she’s out there, i’m sorry. and i know this won’t make up for it, but i hope you like it anyway.”

the crowd cheers again, louder than they have all night, but the noise quickly dies down once hansol begins to play. the lights go dim, and the room fills with a soft melody from his guitar. the sound is unfamiliar, a song you haven’t heard before, and you realize he must’ve been working on it outside of the band’s usual practices. 

even if he isn’t talking about you, the song is beautiful. his guitar seems to sing every note that plays, and you can practically see the air around him shimmering with energy. the rest of the room seems to fade away, the audience that separates you suddenly disappearing. it’s like you’re the only two people around, sitting beside him as he plays just for you. 

he’s done that a few times, played you little snippets on his guitar. you can almost picture it now: it’s always right after he parks outside the bar, before you head inside together. he’ll unzip the case and pull his guitar from the backseat, positioning it on his lap. he comes up with a different reason every time; sometimes he’ll ask if the chords he’s been working on sound good together, sometimes he’ll tell you to listen to see if it needs tuning, sometimes he’ll say he just needs to practice this section a couple more times before giving up for the night and getting shitfaced with you off too many shots.

but you always see right through his flimsy excuses; obviously he’s doing it to show off, to impress you or something. but for the life of you, you’ve never been able to figure out why. why should he care about impressing you, if he doesn’t want to go any further with you?

and suddenly, as you stand in the back of the theater, watching his eyes sparkle under the lights and his fingers breeze over his guitar, looking more focused and frustrated and angry and sad and sorry than you’ve ever seen him look, now you finally have your answer.

you don’t want him to be talking about you. he shouldn’t be talking about you. you almost wish he would just be an asshole to you, give you a good reason to yell at him and cuss him out and tell him to fuck off, but he never does. sure, he’s a little dense to the not-so-subtle hints you’ve been trying to drop, but he’s always been good to you, even if it’s breaking your heart in the process. maybe you’ve been the dense one all along.

the show ends in a blur, and the lights come back on as people start to file out. there's cheers and more shouts for another encore, but it's clear the night is over. this is the part you've been dreading; even after days of convincing yourself, you're still not sure what you're going to do.

when the crowd finally clears out enough for you to move towards the stage, you can already see the group that’s formed around the members. cheol is off to one side, giving out autographs to whoever waves their napkins closest to him. mingyu’s helping wonwoo pack up his drum kit, smiling shyly at the girls calling his name and promising he’ll come back out to the lobby to meet them once he’s finished.

and then there’s hansol, looking flustered as people crowd around him, a deep blush in his cheeks as he waves his hands to try and get them to leave. you’re just far enough from his line of sight that you almost hesitate. it’s not too late to turn around. it’s not too late to leave before he can see you, to disappear from his life forever, but your heart won’t let you. 

you walk a little closer to the stage, hanging back behind the crowd of people, but he sees. his face lights up with relief, and even from a few feet away you can still see his eyes soften. he tells the people to move, more firmly with his words this time, and he hops down off the stage as they part to make room for him. when it’s clear his attention is no longer on them, they grumble and walk away, talking to their friends about the show and how hot all the members are and how they’re definitely planning on coming back the next time they perform.

hansol reaches you in a couple of strides, stopping just in front of you. he stays silent for a second, his eyes roaming over you almost gratefully.

“hi,” he says finally, offering you a lopsided smile. he wipes his palms on his jeans nervously. “you came.”

you bite your lip for a second before you nod. “i did.”

“so you’re— did you— were you here for the end of the show?” he asks, trying to hide the stutter in his words. it’s cute how shy he is all of a sudden. it’s not like him to be shy like this. but then again, the only times you’ve seen him are when he’s playing with the guys or fucking your brains out while he's drunk, so it’s not like you’ve really gotten to know him. maybe he’s always been this shy and you were just too caught up in him to notice.

you know what he’s trying to say without outright saying it. obviously you were there the whole time, a fact you aren’t the proudest of, but you aren’t about to let him know that. “i heard your song,” you finally settle on, cutting straight to the point.

his face goes through about a hundred emotions in the span of a second, from surprised to happy then right back to shy again. “yeah?”

even though most of the room has cleared out by now, he starts walking as he talks, pulling you through the side door into the quieter backstage area. you follow him around the corner until you reach a private room, a wrinkled sheet of paper taped to the door with his name written in sharpie. his guitar case that you've seen so many times lies open on the floor, his backpack slumped against one wall.

“i liked it.”

he exhales in relief as he turns back around to face you, and you can almost see his whole body relax. “i'm so fucking sorry,” he says, nearly stumbling over his words with how fast he tries to get them out. “i've been really, really stupid. the way i left you the other night… i shouldn't have let you go like that. i regretted it the second you left.”

you purse your lips as you listen. you can tell he really means it, and it's getting harder and harder to stay mad at him. but you can't let him off that easy, not after how long you've been going through this.

“i just don't understand what it is you want, hansol. you treat me like— i don't know, like nothing.” you pause and chew on the inside of your cheek for a second, letting your words sink in. “and then out of the blue you beg me to come to your show, and you play this really sweet, heartfelt song, so how the hell am i supposed to take that?”

he winces, but the wounded look on his face doesn't feel as satisfying as you'd hoped it would. “i know. i'm just… i'm bad with words. i'm better at music.” he sighs. “but that's not an excuse. i didn't ever wanna make you feel like that, not on purpose. i just got scared. but i shouldn't have.”

you stand silently, waiting. clearly, there's more on his mind. he stuffs his hands in the back pockets of his jeans, shifting from one foot to the other. 

“i love the way you laugh. i love the way you watch me when i'm playing and it makes me feel like the only person in the whole world. i love the way you smile when you're drunk and the way you kiss me. and it was stupid of me to ever think i didn't want that all the time.” he lifts his gaze to meet your eyes, the fear in his expression more obvious than anything you've ever seen before.

you let out a breath, your voice dropping almost to a whisper. “you should've just said that.”

“i should've,” he agrees.

you offer him a tight-lipped smile, trying to keep yourself together. this is not how you thought tonight would go. you didn't even think you'd talk to him, and if you did, you thought it would be a shouting match, screaming and cursing before angrily storming out of the venue, finally feeling vindicated after all this time. yet here you are, standing quietly in front of him and trying not to cry.

he waits for a second, trying to gauge your reaction before he continues. “you're, like, my best friend,” he says, adding a nervous little chuckle to lighten the mood. “i think about you every time i play or whenever i try to write something. it's always about you. you don't know how much i look forward to thursday practices and getting to see you.”

now it's your turn to laugh. “you literally could've just texted me and i probably would've dropped everything to be there, anytime.”

he grins, his smile a little wider this time. “yeah, i know. i tried, the other day when i invited you. that was scary as shit.”

he looks up at you again, his soft brown eyes and long eyelashes shining even under the dim flickering bulb overhead. “i'm really glad you came tonight, though. i wasn't expecting you to, but i really hoped you would.” he offers you another nervous smile. “will you let me try again?”

you don't answer right away, and the look of nervousness starts to seep back into his features. “i promise i—”

but you cut him off, pulling him in by his shoulders and pressing your lips against his. he falters for just a second but his arms immediately wrap around your waist, tilting his head to lean into the kiss, and somehow that one little action feels more natural than anything you've ever done together.

you slide your tongue against his lips, and he lets out a groan into your mouth before he pulls back to breathe. “is that a yes?”

you have to fight the urge to roll your eyes and laugh, but instead you just nod. “yes.”

you definitely didn't come here tonight expecting to get laid. in fact, the last thing you ever thought you'd do is sleep with hansol again. but all of that feels like a distant memory as you head out of the community theater together, his guitar case over his shoulder, walking hand in hand towards his car.

the routine is familiar, but nothing is the same. you're not drunk, you're not in the parking lot of a cheap bar, and you don't feel lonely anymore. 

he unlocks the doors and you start to climb into the backseat, but he lets out a little noise and shakes his head, and you look up at him in confusion. 

“we're going back to my place. or yours, if you want.” he reaches down to offer his hand and help you out of the car. “i said i was gonna do it right this time, didn't i?”

by the time you get back to your apartment, your stomach is in knots in the very best way. your hands shake as you fumble with your keys, and if you weren’t so on edge it would have almost made you laugh, the way hansol looks away and pretends not to notice. you're more alike than you thought, and suddenly you're overcome with a feeling of excitement. now you get to discover all these little things about him: things you didn't allow yourself to see before, things he wants to show you and tell you and share with you. 

you try not to let the awkwardness seep back in, but you pause outside your bedroom door, almost as if you're waiting for hansol to tell you what to do. in just one night he's turned your life on its head, and now you're at a loss.

so he takes it as a sign and kisses you, his hands finding your waist and slowly trailing up your body until he's cupping your chin. it's different from all the other times he's kissed you. it's not just the fiery passion you're used to when you can tell he's worked up, but there's a hint of uncertainty in it, more similar to the kisses he gives you afterwards when you're trying to figure out whether to ask for a ride home or not. and then, the pieces finally settle into place and you realize he wasn't kissing you like that because he didn't want you; he was kissing you like that because he did.

you pull away and he freezes a little, and you can tell from the worried look in his eyes that he thinks he's gone too far. “relax,” you laugh softly, your forearms still resting on his shoulders. 

he complies, but his eyes still dart across your face in nervousness. despite how badly he wants you, how badly he needs to prove himself to you, there's clearly still so much that needs to be discussed before you can move forward, things that've been left unsaid for far too long.

you inhale and look up into his eyes, trying to find what emotion is hidden there. “what do you want, hansol?”  

“want you to be my girlfriend,” he breathes out without hesitating. if it were any other time and place you might've thought he was joking, but you can tell he's dead serious.

“i—” whatever words you had ready instantly die in your throat, not expecting such a genuine answer. “yes. but i meant, like, right now. what do you want, right now.”

his expression shifts in understanding and he grins, though it's still shy. “oh. well…” he pauses again to think. “what do you want me to do?”

you watch his eyes carefully for a moment before you reply. you've wanted him to do a lot of things. you wanted him to be better, you wanted him to be worse. you wanted him to do anything besides being stuck in this weird limbo of friend-zoned friends with benefits. but now that the choice is up to you… you don't want any of that.

“i want you to be honest,” you start softly, almost shy to say it, but you know it needs to be said. “i want you to tell me how you feel. because i can't lie, you really fucked up. i shouldn't have given you so many chances.” he winces at that, but you brush your thumb along his cheek and pull his attention back to you. “but i did. so you need to earn my trust again. and i just want you to not be so afraid anymore.”

he stays silent for a long moment before he nods, as if he's seriously considering your words. “i know,” he says finally. his voice is quieter now, barely above a whisper. “i'm sorry. you're gonna get so fucking sick of hearing me say how sorry i am, but i'm not gonna stop saying it.”

you want to laugh, but his tone is so serious that you know you shouldn't, so you keep a straight face and ask him again. “so… what do you want?”

he lets out a sigh, still holding you face in his hands. “shit, everything. but, first— i really wanna taste you. can… can i?”

you take a step backwards into the bedroom and he follows, tearing off clothes one by one in a hurry until you're both left with just underwear. with the limited space in his car you've never actually been fully naked together before, and the thought of him seeing you is both terrifying and exhilarating. 

he leans you down onto the bed and you pull him down with you. he falls beside you, pausing to kiss you once more before rolling off the bed and onto his knees, holding your legs in front of him as he stares up at you.

it's the kind of image that could drive a woman mad. you didn't think he was capable of being this patient, but it seems he's full of surprises tonight. “yes,” you breathe out and finally give him an answer. your eyes are locked onto his, a silent conversation happening between you in the span of a second.

he clears his throat and slowly pries your legs apart, pulling his gaze away from your face to stare between your thighs instead.

“god, this pussy…” he groans in delight as he settles your legs over his shoulders, his gaze transfixed on the wet spot at the seat of your panties.

he slides his palms up your thighs, and for his sake you pretend not to notice the way his fingers are shaking just a little. you lift your hips to encourage him, and he slips his long fingers beneath the hem of your panties before pulling them down, taking his time to slide them off and toss them on the floor behind him.

his hands immediately come back up to your thighs, using his thumbs to press your legs apart to give him a better view.

“so fucking gorgeous,” he mumbles to no one but himself. it's like he's in a trance, admiring the dripping mess between your legs like it's about to be his last meal. if he hadn't been so enthusiastic, you might've been embarrassed at the electric shiver that runs through you from his praise. but when there's a man this hot in front of you, kneeling and staring up at you like you're the most beautiful thing he's ever seen in his life, it's hard to feel embarrassed for long.

he leans in and presses a soft, open-mouthed kiss to your clit, and you nearly jump out of your skin at the feeling. he's never been incredibly rough with you before, but he’s never been this gentle, either. he's touching you so delicately, like a statue at a museum that he's not sure yet if he's allowed to touch or not.

your reaction spurs him on, and he leans in further to flatten his tongue against your entrance and gives a long, slow lick. your hips lift automatically, trying to push him closer and add more pressure.

he curls his tongue through your folds before pulling away, his hands coming up to rest on your hip bones and hold you down. “even better than i imagined,” he groans, looking up at you from his spot on the floor, and the image of him down there makes you so dizzy that you have to lay back down against the bed again.

“more,” you whimper desperately. in the back of your mind there's a distant feeling of shyness at how demanding you're being, but you don't think twice about it. after everything he put you through, he still needs to prove himself to you, that he's not going to break your heart again. but he's doing a damn good job so far. “vernon— ah, fuck!”

“mm, anything.” he presses a kiss against the soft skin on inside of your thigh. “anything you want, baby.”

you don't even have time to process the nickname before he's diving back in, his lips wrapped around your clit as he sucks at you. you let out a strangled noise of surprise, your hand instantly flying down to hold his head.

your fingers tangle in his hair, his tongue so deep in your pussy that you're already gasping and writhing under his touch. you can't tell which one of you has been more stupid for not letting this happen sooner, because it almost seems like he's enjoying this more than you are.

the coil in your stomach already feels like it's about to burst, pent up with white-hot energy that feels hotter than the sun. it hardly takes a few more pointed laps of his tongue before you fall apart into his mouth, whimpering and groaning and begging shamelessly for him. 

“you called me vernon,” he says when you finally manage to push his head away, shivering with overwhelming sensitivity. he lifts one hand to wipe at his chin, way too nonchalant after everything he just did.

you're still fighting through the haze of your orgasm but his words bring you back down to earth, and your face fills with heat. “huh? sorry, i—”

“everybody calls me vernon,” he says as he shakes his head, quickly cutting you off. he stands up and moves onto the bed, flopping down beside you. “i liked that you always called me hansol. made it feel special.”

your eyes follow his movements, still laying on your back as you catch your breath. “but…?”

he grins, and you swear there's a hint of blush in his cheeks. “but that was really sexy when you called me vernon. it sounds way cooler when it's coming from you.”

all you can do is laugh, letting your eyes close as you rest your hands on your stomach. “noted,” you giggle. “so should i do it more, then?”

he hums in thought, rolling over onto his side so that he's closer to you. “you can do whatever you want, baby.”

that nickname again. he's already started leaning in to kiss you again, but you grab his shoulders and pull him down to meet him halfway. there's a bitterness on his tongue that you'd almost forgotten about, but you're quickly reminded once you feel his hand sliding across your stomach and down back between your legs. you let out a surprised but happy moan into his mouth, one of your hands moving to the back of his head to kiss him harder.

your legs part, accepting the warmth of his palm as he gently presses it against your sensitive clit. he holds his hand there for just a moment, pausing his movements as he kisses you, eagerly swallowing the whimpers and sounds you give him in return.

after a minute he shifts his hand, carefully pressing his index and middle finger into you. you're right up at the edge again already, clenching down hard around his fingers as he sets a slow pace, pulling them out halfway before thrusting them in deeper than before. you're seeing stars, releasing a constant stream of muffled moans into his lips as he curls his fingers inside you. he follows the rhythm of your hips as you rut against his palm, letting the movement force his fingers even deeper.

his fingers are dripping with your juices, down his knuckles and pooling in his palm, but it only makes him want to fuck you even more. it's not like this is the first time he's fingered you. the guys at the auto shop down the street know him all too well, from the amount of times he's had to take his car in to get the seats cleaned. he always claims that it's because he's a messy eater, and while that's true in some ways, he knows those guys don't buy it for a fucking second.

his fingers are completely buried inside you but he never stops kissing you, breathing almost as heavily as you are. he stops thrusting his fingers and adjusts his hand once more, pressing his thumb against your clit to rub lazy circles over it. 

“ver—vern— fuck, hansol!” you finally manage to pull away from his lips, nearly gasping for air as another orgasm rips through you. his other hand slides down your body and it feels like the first time you've ever been touched, his palm so warm and tender against your skin that it somehow makes your high even better. you're shaking in his arms, lips parted in a soundless moan as you clench wildly around his fingers, but he just holds you tighter against his body and keeps pressing kisses along your jaw.

his lips are wet with both spit and slick as he watches you, his eyes filled with stars. usually when you're together, in the dark backseat of his car illuminated only by the moonlight and nearby streetlamps, it's hard to make out the details. it's dark, and everything is fuzzy from both the alcohol and the late hour. but now, he's realizing how stupid he was for never letting this happen sooner. he could've ended up going his whole life without ever seeing you like this, laying completely fucked out under the soft light in your bedroom, your pupils wide and eyes watery and so, so beautiful.

he waits until you've calmed down again, leaning away to give you a little space, but your hand shoots out to grab his wrist and keep him close to you and he can't help but smile. when you open your eyes you're expecting to find a cocky smirk, to see how proud of himself he is for having you in the palm of his hand so easily, but it's not there. just that soft smile.

“now. what do you want?” he says. “i should be asking you that way more often.”

“want you inside,” you pant out. “now. please? i— i missed you.” you shouldn't have said the last part out loud, but at this point you don't care anymore. all your cards are out on the table.

his eyes widen a little at your boldness, but he bites his lip and nods. he can't lie and say he wasn't secretly hoping you'd say that, but he'd be just as happy to sit here on the floor and eat you out over and over and over again. he'd do anything you want at this point, and not just because he feels like he owes you. he does, but it's deeper than that. it's a different kind of feeling, one that makes him want to do cheesy shit like lay his jacket over puddles for you and buy an airplane to write your name in the sky.

as he starts to position himself between your legs on the bed, you watch his face. his expression is outwardly neutral, but little by little you've started to recognize the signs of his happiness. it looks good on him.

but your brain isn't content with that, not just yet. you swallow as a thought crosses your mind, and you can't push it down any longer.

“wait,” you say quietly, forcing the word out before you can reconsider. he stops immediately, his eyes searching your face for anything he can find, any sign that you've changed your mind about this.

“yeah?” he replies, his voice just as quiet, as if he's afraid to speak too loudly and break the tension of this moment.

you clear your throat as best you can manage, though it's kind of starting to get sore from how much and how loudly you've been moaning all night. “just curious,” you start, nervousness suddenly starting to creep in. but tonight is for being honest, and you can handle the truth. probably.

“before, while we were together— well, it doesn't really count as being ‘together’ but you know what i mean.” you pause again, chewing your lip. “did you ever… y'know. was there ever anybody else?”

hansol exhales, still hovering over you. “no. unless you count lotion and my hand, ‘cause there was a lot of that.” your eyes soften and you visibly relax at his words, and he mentally kicks himself for ever making you even think that was the case. that there would ever be anyone else for him but you. “i know i was stupid, but i'm not that stupid.”

“okay.” you pause again, trying to figure out how to get back on track. “sorry, i just wanted to know. i don't care.”

he scoffs, but his tone is more melancholy than angry. he shifts on top of you so he can rest on his elbows, getting closer and brushing his hand over your hair. “you should care. if i had, i would've given you full permission to lay into me, cuss me out, whatever. i would've deserved it. you don't deserve that.”

“i wanted to, trust me.” you sigh. “but you're too nice to me. i thought…” you chew on your lip, eyes searching his as you try to figure out what to say. “…i don't know what i was thinking.”

“i don't think i'm anywhere near ‘too nice’,” hansol laughs. the sincerity in his expression almost makes you feel better. “i'm the luckiest dude on the planet that you didn't decide to, like, slash the tires on my car and egg my house or something instead. i really wouldn't have blamed you if you did.”

“maybe i should then, next time,” you say, a smile creeping onto your face.

he shakes his head. “there won't be a next time.”

the room goes quiet and you stare at each other for a second, letting his words sink in. you can tell he's being lighthearted, but he's not even trying to hide the sincerity behind his words.

“you can… continue now,” you say after a tense moment, breaking the silence. the tension in the room is thick but it's not uncomfortable, slowly but surely melting into a lust that's deeper than any of the times you've been drunk and horny in his car.

he nods, and he reaches down to brush your hair back behind your ear before his hands slide down your body. he seems so hesitant to let go of you, but finally he lifts one hand to grip his cock and position himself at your entrance. he braces his other hand against your hip, shivering as he brushes the tip of his cock up through your folds. fuck, he's not gonna last. 

after steeling his nerves as best he can and trying to convince himself not to bust the second he's inside you, he angles himself between your legs and starts to push in.

by some miracle he manages not to cum immediately, squeezing his eyes shut and trying to think about literally anything else but how fucking beautiful you are lying beneath him, but what actually happens instead might be worse.

hansol groans once he's fully inside, slowly splitting you open bit by bit until he bottoms out with his hips flush against yours. there are so many words on his tongue begging to spill out, but he can't think straight. holy shit, he can't even think about anything right now. why did he never say anything sooner? why did he waste so much time content with putting in the least amount of effort when he could've been having you like this all along?

“i love you,” he blurts out, and for a split second you think maybe this is all a dream and somehow you passed out at the show and hit your head so hard you started hallucinating this. but then his eyes widen and he winces in that way you've started to recognize, and you almost laugh because now you know it's real.

“shit, i don't know why i said that. i'm sorry. fuck, i'm sorry,” he groans and hangs his head, but despite his embarrassment you can still feel every inch of his dick twitching inside you and it feels way too good to ignore. “you don't have to say it back. i know it's way too soon—”

“did you mean it?”

“what?”

“did you mean it?” you repeat. his attention pulls back to you, a confused yet hopeful look in his eyes that makes your heart warm.

he clears his throat, obviously trying to hide the pink spreading across his cheeks. “yeah. i think i did. and not just because you have the best pussy ever.”

“are you sure? because that's what it sounds like to me,” you tease and try to roll your eyes, but his words make you clench involuntarily around him and he curses under his breath.

“fuck— yes, i’m very sure, i meant it and i'll keep saying it forever if you'll let me.” he lets out a groan, both hands now firmly planted on your waist. “but, god, please let me fuck you now. i'm trying so goddamn hard to hold back and i'll gladly go for another round later but i'm trying to make it up to you right now and it's gonna completely ruin it if i cum in, like, five seconds.”

you can't help your laughter in that moment so all you can do is nod, lifting your hips a little to try and get him going. and he takes the hint, pulling halfway out of you before slamming back in, a loud, deep string of groans leaving his lips.

his pace starts out frantic but he quickly calms himself down, stabilizing himself through his grip on your waist and pulling you to meet his thrusts. he snaps his hips into you at a smooth pace, his cock dragging against your walls with each stroke in a way that has you clawing at his wrists for support as he holds onto you.

hansol may be bad at relationships, but he's never been bad at sex. even on a good day it really doesn't take much to have you seeing stars, but this is different. this is desperate, determined, thankful, and hopeful all wrapped into one movement, sliding in and out of you with a passion you've only ever seen when he's playing guitar. 

“ha— ngh— hansol!” despite your efforts to keep it steady, your voice still comes out broken, his name escaping your lips as easily as breathing. you roll your head back against the pillow, and you're suddenly even more grateful that you're at home in your bed instead of alone in a parking lot. this is so much better, better than you could've dreamed.

“fuck, you always take my cock so good,” hansol groans as he leans forward and buries his face in your chest. “i should’ve been telling you that every single time, how good you are. so fucking good.”

the way he fucks you is strangely tender, in a way you're not sure you've ever felt before. it's rough, but somehow in a gentle way. he's taking you apart piece by piece and putting you back together with his hands, his kisses, his touch. none of the times before have ever come close to this. 

maybe it's the feeling of a mattress beneath your back instead of a hard plastic seat, or maybe it's the promises hanging in the air between you that makes this time feel brand new. maybe you're just too caught up in the moment to think straight, but for the first time it finally feels like a fresh start. this time is different.

“baby, please, one more for me,” he moans into your skin as his hips begin to grow weary, his breath hot against your chest. “‘m not gonna last much longer— fuck, cum for me one more time, baby. god, you're so perfect. please, let me make you cum.”

at this point he's rambling, almost as far gone as you are, but it's like he doesn't even need to ask. as soon as the words leave his mouth you feel the familiar sensation starting to build again, burning hotter and quicker than before. you almost start to panic because you can't even tell if you have another one left in you, but you look up and meet his eyes one last time and suddenly a wave of calm washes over you at the sight of his soft brown eyes filled with way more love than you're expecting to find there.

you don't even have time to tell him when it hits you one more time, you just grab him and hang on tight as your high tears through you. you struggle to lift your legs and wrap them around his back, pulling him in even closer to you as your walls flutter uncontrollably around him. he invades your senses and you can feel him everywhere, and you can only hope he feels the way you do.

but it's obvious that he does, because “ah, shit—” is the last thing you hear before he pulls out, barely managing to get back in time before he spills all over your stomach, your thighs, your pussy, the sheets. it's everywhere, and neither of you care. his hands are still on you gripping your waist tightly like he can't bear to let go, his cock pulsing limply as it rests against your stomach. rope after rope of thick white floods over your skin, and yet it's like he barely even notices because he's so busy repeating your name, praising you again and again in between swears and shaky moans.

you're panting, your hands shaking as you reach for him, but he's already right there. he's breathing heavily himself as he drops down on the bed beside you, wrapping his arms around you and burying his head in the crook of your neck. 

his weight half leaning against you is grounding, and eventually you feel your heart starting to return to normal as you become aware of the sticky puddle of sweat and cum that you're both laying in. but you just close your eyes and rest, focusing on his body warmth and his palm holding your side and the tickle of air coming from his nose as he breathes against you, and you realize nothing, no feeling in the world, has ever felt better than this.

when he reluctantly pulls himself away from your body to go look for a towel, you already know there's no question about whether or not he's staying over tonight.

once he's done cleaning you off he lifts you up into his arms, laughing and nuzzling his nose into your neck as he sets you down at your desk chair to start stripping the mess of sheets off your bed, and in that moment you can't help but think how lucky you are. he keeps saying that he's the lucky one for letting him have a second chance, but you're lucky in a lot of ways, too. lucky that it turned out he wasn't as much of an idiot as you’d thought. lucky that your heart wouldn't let you give up on him, no matter how hard you tried. lucky that after everything, hope still works sometimes.

after stumbling around your room, tossing blankets and sheets around and looking the happiest you've ever seen him, you're finally settled down together and you're back where you've always belonged, laying in his arms. it's so late that the sun is probably coming up soon and you're exhausted from the emotional rollercoaster of a night, but you couldn't care less about what happens next because everything finally feels right.

hansol sighs, his arm curled a little awkwardly around your shoulders as he twirls a lock of your hair between his fingers. “can… we not do this anymore?” he asks finally. 

his voice is quiet; not shy or uncertain, just quiet. it's different than what you're used to with him. usually when you're around him everything is loud, it's fast and messy and jumbled, a whirlwind of a night followed by heartache and a pounding headache in the morning. but now he's just… quiet. all the thoughts that normally rush through your head are gone, leaving nothing but silence.

you swallow, confused. although you've already talked out all your worries, you can't help the uncertain feeling that starts to return. “what do you mean? like, right now?”

he exhales like he's thinking, and his fingers pause in your hair. “like… i don't know. i want things to be good between us. whatever we were doing before— anything but that. no more not talking about stuff. no more tension. y'know? i promise.”

“mmm.” you hum, letting his words sink in for a while. you drum your fingers absently against his chest, almost trying to make sure he's still there. “yeah. i think… i think things are good between us now.” you giggle, leaning your head against his chest. “as long as you don't pull that shit again.”

he laughs, reaching up to grab your hand off his chest and hold it there. “oh, yeah, i know. you're way too good to me for even giving me another chance. i'm so sorry i almost fucked it all up.”

“you don't have to say that anymore.”

“well like i said, babe, i'm going to—”

“you can just keep saying ‘i love you’ instead.” you interrupt, squeezing his hand in yours.

he stops short in the middle of his sentence, caught in surprise, but as soon as your words register a grin slowly begins to make its way across his face. “cool. then… i love you.”

© junkissed 2024. do not repost or translate. ── ⊹ ˙ . 𖥻 want to be notified when i post new fics? join my taglist!

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[acey-wacey]

Jealous of Their Tsum

Feat. Deuce, Azul, Jade

A/n: In honor of tsumderland 2!!! (though it took me the entire event to write it). Kalim, Rook and Lilia in the future if there is demand

♠️ Deuce Space ♠️

He gets along with his tsum though it's quite the troublemaker sometimes.

It doesn't have the same honor student drive that he does.

Though sometimes it gets into mischief, it's lack of proper inhibitions also make it bolder when it comes to you.

Deuce has had a crush on you for the longest time and never said a word because he was too scared.

His tsum however is not at all scared and has no problem launching into your arms.

You were initially startled by the little plushie that threw itself at you but once you realized it was Deuce's tsum, you giggled and let it bounce up to your shoulders.

It nuzzled the side of your face and you patted it's head affectionately.

Deuce --who had been running after the tsum to keep it from causing too much mayhem -- stopped short when he saw you cuddling with the little creature that looked so much like him.

"You're just a little sweetheart, aren't you?" You cooed at the tsum, squeezing it in your arms and holding it close to your chest.

Deuce couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy at the affection you showed the tsum.

Why didn't you ever hug him like that? What did Deuce-tsum do to deserve your cuddles?

"You are just so cute," you said as you pinched the tsum's little cheeks. The plushy bounced with happiness. "Almost as cute as the real Deuce!"

Deuce's eyes widened when he heard you.

You thought he was... cute? Cuter than the tsum even?

His jealousy was replaced with swelling pride.

He smiled to himself, knowing you weren't aware of his presence.

Maybe his dreams of confessing weren't so hopeless after all.

...

🐙 Azul Ashengrotto 🐙

His tsum had mostly been helping out at the Mostro Lounge, being cute and attracting customers.

Azul knew how good the adorable little plush was for business but he never expected to see you drawn to the crowds.

"What brings you to the Lounge on this fine day, dearest prefect?" Azul asked you with his signature charming smile.

"Everyone's been talking about the tsum that's working. He's just so cute!" you responded enthusiastically, looking to where Azul-tsum was filling up a customer's water glass.

Azul's perfect smile faltered for just a second, not long enough for you to notice.

"So even you can be tempted by our most adorable new staff member?"

"Seems so," you shrugged with a smile.

"I'll ensure it is sent to your table then," Azul smiled before turning away.

He secretly scowled at the tsum before walking back to his post.

He didn't hear you mutter "I can think of a more adorable staff member" before he left.

A few minutes later, there was a bit of a commotion in the dining area.

"What's going on?" Azul asked Jade when he saw the franticness buzzing around your table.

"It appears the tsum has attacked a patron," Jade said, though his smile was much too sly for that kind of news.

Azul was much too startled to notice the eel's ulterior motives.

He pushed his way through the crowd to find your table.

"I am terribly sorry about any violent behavior by our resident tsum. If anyone has been attacked in any way, I assure you, you will be reimbursed..."

You interrupted Azul before he could finish.

"Nonsense! I wasn't attacked so much as glomped by this little cutie!"

Azul couldn't tell if he was more startled by the attack accusations or the fact that his tsum was nuzzling itself into your chest. And you were cuddling it back?

Azul found himself becoming increasingly worried that his tsum shared the same feelings he had for you.

What if you discovered that he liked you because of his tsum? You would probably hate him and then he'd never see you again and all because of that stupid ball of stuffing!

First it was going to steal his job, then his crush. Sooner or later, Jade and Floyd would completely replace him with the thing!

Azul collected himself enough to take a deep breath and offer you a hand.

"My deepest apologies for this unprofessionalism. May I offer you a VIP seat while I get everything sorted with our clingy little waiter?"

You smiled and took Azul's hand holding the tsum against your shoulder with the other.

"I'm really not bothered but I'll never say no to a better seat."

While Azul walked you to your new booth, he put on a customer service smile just for you.

"Say, Y/N, you seem to enjoy cuddling with the little tsum quite a bit."

"Can't deny that," you chuckled and squeezed the puffball tighter. It wiggles its stubby arms with joy. "I've grown fond of the little fellow."

Azul's eyes narrowed slyly.

"I have a proposition for you, Y/N. You may cuddle my tsum as much as you like, with a few conditions of course."

"Of course," you repeated with a roll of your eyes.

"I don't even ask much of you," Azul continued as he summoned a contract with his magic. "Just sign on the dotted line and the tsum is practically yours."

You narrowed your eyes at the fine print before chuckling.

"For every cuddle Azul-tsum receives, twice as many must be returned to the original Azul," you read aloud with a smirk on your face.

"A tempting offer, is it not, prefect?"

You smiled and set the tsum down on a nearby table much to its dismay.

Before Azul could react, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him into a tight embrace.

"Very tempting indeed."

🍄 Jade Leech 🍄

You were walking peacefully back to Ramshackle from your afternoon classes when you tripped over something soft in the road.

You spit the dirt out of your mouth and looked up to see a mini Jade hopping around on the road.

You sighed and stood up, dusting off your uniform.

"You did that on purpose, didn't you, you little schemer?"

The tsum stopped its gleeful hopping to wink at you.

You laughed and squatted down to be roughly eye level with the plush.

"Well don't think you can indebt me to you. I'm a lot bigger than you after all," you said before realizing the irony. "Huh, that's funny, it's usually the other way around with Jade."

You continued on your way home but noticed the tsum still bouncing after you.

"What? Did Jade send you to collect a payment?"

The tsum shook its head, or at least it would have if it had a head. More like it just shook its whole body.

"Do you need something?"

Another shake.

"Are you gonna follow me all the way home?"

An enthusiastic nod.

"Just like the normal Jade. Can never take no for an answer."

You sighed and held out your hands to the tsum.

"Come on, let's get going. I can't have you tracking dirty stub prints all over my shiny nice desecrated wood floors."

The Jade-tsum hopped eagerly into your hands.

Before too long, it started to rain.

You groaned and looked at the little tsum in your hands.

"Guess we gotta make a run for it, eh, Jade-tsum?"

The tsum bounced in excitement.

You held it close to your chest and made a break down the dirt road to your dorm.

By the time you made it back, the tsum was stuck to you like glue.

"Come on, little Jade, I'm all wet and muddy, I need to take a shower!"

The tsum stayed stuck to your shirt no matter how much you tugged at it.

"Guess this is my life now."

After your fourth lap around the dorm, trying to dry off with a plushie attached to you, you got a phone call from the Jade's cell.

"Y/N," you answered tiredly.

"How fortuitous I was able to reach you, prefect," you heard Jade's easily distinguishable voice from the other line. "Would you have happened to see my little lookalike anywhere? I'm afraid it's gotten away from me and it's much too difficult to search in the rain."

"Yeah, actually. It's kind of attached to me."

"Attached, you say?" Jade's voice perked up with interest. "Whatever do you mean?"

"I mean literally attached. It latched onto me like Velcro and I can't get it off for the life of me which is quite inconvenient."

You heard Jade chuckle.

"That does sound quite characteristic for a version of me," he mused, making you wonder what the implications of that statement were. "I shall be right over to remove it."

About 20 seconds after he hung up, you heard a knock on your door.

"That was quick," you said as you got up to open the door.

Jade was standing in your doorway, soaking wet with a sneaky smile on his lips.

"How did you get here so fast?"

"Oh, I was already on the way."

You laughed as you stepped aside to let Jade in the door. As per his usual polite self, he took off his muddy shoes before following you to the dying room (it's in such poor shape you don't bother calling it a living room).

"Why'd you call ahead if you were already coming?"

"It is polite to give warning of one's arrival, is it not?" Jade cocked his head in fake innocence. "I would never wish to be unexpected."

"Jade Leech, you are always unexpected."

He smiled at you rebuff.

"I shall take that as a compliment," he cleared his throat and turned to you. "Now for the matter of our other unexpected guest."

Jade looked at his tsum double who was still firmly snuggled into your chest.

He bent down to look the tsum in the eye and you didn't quite hear what he said to it but from the way it released it's hold on you and scampered off to the couch, you assumed it was a threat.

"Thanks, Jade," you said exasperatedly though you knew there was going to be a catch later.

"I accept your thanks, prefect, but your payment would be much more appreciated."

You sighed and grabbed your wallet from your pocket.

"If you're going to make me work shifts at the Mostro, I would much rather pay you in cold hard madol."

Jade pushed your hands down and looked at you with a dangerous glimmer in his eyes.

"I'm afraid your little leech has not been removed, prefect, only replaced with a larger one."

You backed up as Jade approached you with a sharp toothy grin. Eventually, he backed you up against the couch and you fell over backwards.

"Poor helpless prefect," Jade tutted, looming over you, his dark silhouette outline by the flickering light of your ancient chandelier. "Who would be able to help you if a slimy eel decided to... latch on?"

Your breath caught in your throat as the wind was knocked out of you by a crushing weight on your body.

You waited for Jade to keep squeezing the life out of you but for some reason it never came.

Instead you felt the nuzzle of a much larger head into your neck.

Once you recovered from the shock, you smiled and began stroking Jade's hair.

He growled under your touch.

"Mine."

...

☕Buy Me A Ko-Fi! ☕

[that-smallinjured-bowylamb]

Creepy!yuu and Victim!reader in TWST.

Summary: Okay, from where I left off, the reader had tried unaliving themselves (but guess who got transported the last second they were about to taste freedom?) In short, you and Yuu had gone to TWST not only that but Yuu still played as 'you' and ended up charming them to turn on you, spreading rumors, and making believable stories, horrifyingly enough, they knew how to act and turn the tables on to you. But, since this is non-yandere, they aren't THAT stupid.

...Unless your talking about their affection for Yuu after their overblot (depends)....

A/n: my motivation is so sloppy what the heck, I am going to church tmrw (Sunday) so the asks in my drafts will be postponed a little more (oh god, another preaching thing again....), oh and one more thinggg, I'm ending this part to Pomefiore, my lazy ass can't keep writing anymore my mind is so empty😔😔💔

Tags: @fancyhawk45

Idk, they requested it ig??? I mean like, fics are making me tired so I wanna try imagining with my anons.

How TWST Cast treats you.

Riddle:

Okay, maybe he wouldn't like, turn his whole dorm against you? Listen, he's not sure whether Yuu is telling the truth or not, but he'll make sure to keep an eye on you. A part of him thinks Yuu is strange, with the way they've constantly spoke about you. Don't they dislike you? Why do they keep talking about you so much? Then Yuu says, "They've been following me, forcing me to be with them, so all my entire life I had been constantly surrounded by them. It was an every day routine of mine to talk about them, since they liked that and pestered me into talking about them, and them only. Even going so far as to erase my 'self' so I could act like them a little more..." yeah, some stupid excuse Yuu came up with.

Did he believe it? Quite a bit. Don't get him wrong! He just doesn't know if this is some morbid excuse, until he saw Yuu flinching whenever your around.

He disliked you, but not so much. He has suspicions, but doesn't want to assume. So all he does is sternly scold you, but sometimes his words are so harsh you had assumed he was out to bully you like the rest. If he knew about your situation, he'd be sorry. But for now?

"[Name], Yuu isn't stalking you. You are just paranoid, they are not that kind of person at all. Yuu is a good person with morals, you shouldn't blame Yuu just because you are jealous of their popularity." But you never wanted popularity, you wanted someone to understand the situation you were in.

And most of them wouldn't help. Yuu saw you talking to Riddle... Come, let's talk privately after this, yes?

Trey:

He wouldn't get what was going on at first. When he met Yuu and you for the first time, something in his gut told him something was wrong. He didn't know what exactly. Maybe it was the way you glanced Yuu blankly or the way you looked like you were pleading for something to happen or, pleading for someone?

Either way, he was perceptive. He can say that there is something between the relationship with you and Yuu. It was creepy on how Yuu often looks at you whenever your around. This guy notices that you often avoid others whenever Yuu is around, so maybe he tries to talk to you through private means, and that'll also mean he'll avoid talking about this to Yuu, just in case. He suspects there's more to Yuu's character but from now on, he should be careful with who he speaks with. Yuu seems empty, their eyes, he meant.

But that doesn't mean he wouldn't talk to Yuu anymore. That'd make him suspicious to Yuu, so he'll sneak in a few treats for you every time there's an unbirthday party going on. He would seem like he wouldn't believe you, but trust me, he needs the evidence first before assumptions, and he can't talk to you since you seem afraid of him, and Yuu keeps blocking the way every time he tries.

"What do you mean 'Yuu is stalking you'? I'm sorry, I don't know whether your lying or not, but I'll find a way soon. For now, keep a low profile in front of Yuu, yeah?" Oops, Yuu caught 'you'.

What did they say last time? Guess they'll need to drill it in your head.

Cater:

Listen, as far as I know, especially when it had been shown and stated many times, Cater is perceptive. He hides his emotions well and often covers it with humor. Maybe emotionally depending on the internet as well? (I'm projecting on this part, ignore this) Either way, he's self-aware and he knows creepy vibes when he sees one.

When he first met Yuu, it was subtly obvious to him that something IS wrong with Yuu. The way they talk sounds rehearsed or copied in a way. Mimicry? But he sees the way Yuu acts. It never sits right with him. What for? He doesn't know, but he knows this is a lie. He won't fall for the act and would rather be a bit distant with Yuu, he'd even try to find reader, who is basically now scared shitless of what will happen if they talk to another person again, Yuu tries to convince him to leave Yuu alone, and when he does, Yuu even feeds him lies that he can clearly see through. He doesn't know the relationship you two have but whatever it is, it concerns him. Not much, but enough to feel quite bad for not helping. Sorry, he just doesn't know what to do.

Worse part is, he can't even talk to you without you scurrying off like he's some serial killer! How is he supposed to have any evidence on Yuu if the proof keeps running away??? Sigh, guess he'll come back for you later.

For now, he'll have his eyes and ears on the look out without telling anyone.

Ace:

Okay, for him... Ace isn't the smartest, but not the dumbest either. Humor is coping, and lying effortlessly is one of his many talents, I'm not saying he's lying to Yuu, but more like what he feels. So, at first he never felt suspicious about Yuu, it just felt off when Yuu looks so distant, yet acts so close.

So it was like Ace was talking to a stranger than a friend. Well, not really? Just Yuu feeling distant, to him, at least.

But he can't help but look at you, the person who's constantly behind Yuu's back. What good can you do? You've always ran away, even at the slightest interaction. Why? And you keep glancing at Yuu everytime they talk about your bad deeds while your in the distance. Yes, he noticed you were hiding behind the tree or right around the corners in the hallways whenever Yuu spoke about you. And it's annoying, really. Yuu only ever talks about you, and barely talks about themselves. What is the matter with Yuu and you? Both of you are so weird, to be honest, he wouldn't really be surprised if one of you was a serial killer. Haha! He's joking, but seriously, it is mad concerning that you run away from him whenever he tries to approach you,-

Why was Yuu looking at you like that?

Deuce:

Okay, Deuce isn't really the smartest in the shed, but he's got the spirit? I have not much to say about Deuce except for his confusion. The terror in your eyes reminds him of the times where he was still a delinquent and terrorizing others. Did he do something wrong? Yet, that didn't seem like the case, you've always done that when Yuu is near, and when Yuu isn't around, you'd look around twice to check if Yuu is no where to be seen before talking to him. Hey, why did you bully Yuu before? Did something happen between you two? Yet, when those questions came out of his mouth, you seemed scared in a way, not in a "I've been caught" way, but something more? It was then you quickly left as if sensing someone, not before warning him, "Yuu isn't the person that you see..." before running off, Yuu appears just in time to find Deuce standing akwardly,

What do you mean by that?

Leona:

Do you think he'll give two shits to you??? Nah, at least, not at first. He'd think your some paranoid freak that looks over their shoulders constantly. Yet, he can't help but feel unsettled as well. Whenever he looks or interacts with you, even just a little bit or unintentionally, either you avoid him and run off like a scared prey, or Yuu comes in to interrupt or block him. Seriously, what the fuck is going on with you two? Yuu explains that although you were their bully, you tend to run away from guilt. Leona sets it off and decides to leave you alone, not becaue what Yuu had said, but because it's disturbing. And he wants sleep, so there's that.

It wouldn't make sense in his head, why is Yuu protecting you if you were their bully? He knows there's something off-putting in Yuu's words, something reversed but he doesn't have any proof to say anything about it, nor will he care to lift a finger for it. But one day, he was walking past Ramshackle for whatever reason, and saw both of you talking, not in a pleasant way, though. Your eyes looked petrified and your body was shaking, like some weak prey in the jaws of a predator. Yuu was talking about something, but clearly, it wasn't a good one,

That is, until Yuu's eyes flicker at Leona's.

They close the curtains, Leona is surprised they even saw him.

Will he help? Depends.

Ruggie:

No doubt he couldn't help but feel like he shouldn't trust Yuu, at all. Despite being indebted to them, he felt off when Yuu was around him, it never felt right. It never felt 'them'. But after the overblot? He must say, he is quite impressed with their thinking, it's sharp, too sharp.

So this is where he is now, hanging with Yuu, and keeping a close eye on them. It would've felt right, until he saw you. At first glance he never said anything to you, not ever. But when the octavinelle deal struck in? You look visibly shaken. You didn't want to sleep with Yuu or anybody else. You wanted your own privacy, and the way you've emphasized on wanting privacy, he couldn't help but think that has something to do with Yuu. So he keeps a close eye on them too, because he's not sure what Yuu is capable of. And not like he needs to know about that.

He's concerned, rightfully so. But he doesn't know you and you keep running away. So, how will he help if he isn't a friend or an acquiantence of yours? Not like he'll think like this too much, after all, it's your business, not his.

Did he just fucking saw Yuu smelling your hair while you were asleep in broad daylight? What the fuck...

Jack:

Dilemma going hard fr.

He doesn't know why, but he feels as though, Yuu is lying. But, he won't give in, he thinks of Yuu as a good friend, but whenever Yuu brings up you as the topic to 'vent'. Jack can't help but feel a tinge of jealousy, and also a weird sense that tells him Yuu is wrong.

It's like your best friend tells you that your other best friend is bad and talking shit about you, but the thing is, is that its a close friend so you dont know whether to drop them or just bawl your eyes out and keep them at arms length. Yeah, Jack's dilemma about this btw.

So, whenever he tries to approach you? You just run, for the fear of losing someone again, or... those photos. But, Jack kept on persisting, thing is, Yuu caught on and blocks him, or distracts him whenever he thinks about talking to you.

Was that a knife behind them? He sure hopes not, else he'll apprehend them.

Azul:

He kinda relates to the bullying thing, but he doesn't know that you were the victim and assumes it was Yuu who went through it since they understood him so well. If anything, Yuu was the victim, but he can't help but suspect it as a lie. But since Yuu has so much influence on these people, it is best to stick around until the truth spills over.

He can't get proof without it being shown somewhere in here. So, he'll get Jade and Floyd to be his eyes and ears. He's still a shady business man, after all. But he feels like Yuu has something up their sleeves, like they have something he doesn't know or want to know about.

Whatever Yuu hides, he needs to find out, it's a fair trade, you see? He gets to know you and Yuu, while you and Yuu gets to know him, and sign a contract if things get serious.

Something bothers him, is the fact Yuu had once said something about your... body? Ah, Jade, he wishes that Jade would've said it in a lighter tone, instead of saying it in excruciating detail.

Wait... what the fuck do you mean by the prefect doing that?-

Jade:

I'd say... he knows something about Yuu stalking you. But it is just a gut feeling. He doesn't know the exact things Yuu does, but he does know that Yuu's fascinating behavior is driven with a more obsessive motive.

And all that motive leads to the elusive you. You, who barely been seen talking to anyone but Yuu, despite their claims of a toxic relationship, you seemed more meek than Yuu, is he really sure what Yuu had said was true? Hm. Then again, he never believed it, so it wasn't really a surprise.

He thinks this is amusing, with the fact Yuu uses a facade like any other students would. But that identity alone, something bothers him, is it really a personality Yuu created? Or did it belong to somebody else? What does Yuu gain out of this? What do they want, in order to do this? His bothersome doesn't mean he's off-put, more like a nagging questions are being thrown at him. When he had became Azul's ears and eyes, he had to take every mental note that there was something going on between the two of you.

And to be honest to himself, you do seem cute. A frightened little shrimp. Just as Floyd had said, you do curl up like one! He just thinks your fascinating.

A bit too fascinating than he anticipated, he doesn't know this feeling whenever Yuu blocks him from speaking to you, but even if he did evade Yuu, you would just run away.

Well, this will be an interesting chase.

Floyd:

You can't tell me he isn't smart, well not academically sure, but he can at least read the room (I hope so, my memory is just complete ass atp, helppp), he thinks Yuu is interesting, (hey, so what type of fish is cunning and sly?? I can't make a nickname for Yuu) as well as the scurrying shrimp! You both are so adorable, but obviously, Yuu is faking it while you, are genuine about it. Neh, neh~ is that all your traits? Are you just a scared shrimpy all the time?~ He's not stupid, he knows you wouldn't be scared for no reason.

Which is why, he wants to know more about you. He wants to chase you, and squeeze you. Your interesting, if only you'd stop running. Don't do that! He'll get bored!

Till' he sees Yuu getting reallll close to your space, and you look uncomfortable too.~

He holds his breath until the day the truths spills out.

Kalim:

Okay, he might catch on if the signs were obvious (which, it kinda is) so Kalim will catch up later. And maybe, he'll approach and want to help you, but Yuu, again. Keeps blocking, and honestly? He can't help but feel something that he had never felt before, it wasn't fear. It wasn't anything like that. But, imagine someone pestering you to do something else you clearly don't want to and they still insist.

Yes, that feeling. Annoyance? Maybe. But still, Kalim IS human so he can feel annoyed /gen. And he is most likely trying to evade Yuu so he could talk to you, but you've managed to slip away in the crowds a bit too easily. The people under Yuu's influence are a hassle as well, especially when they block his path to speak with you, akways huddled up or cornering you. He really is worried on what could happen to you.

He really wants to talk to you, but you kept avoiding him, and even begged him not to speak with you.

The threats about your life is getting worse.

What? Hey!- wait, what do you mean by that!?- wait! Come back, please! He really wants to help!

What is Yuu telling you!?

The fact that, he suspects that you're a hostage to Yuu, he doesn't want that to happen.

Trust him, he'll save you with anything he can. Just wait for him, okay? He's not scared of Yuu, he had seen worse.

Jamil:

It is getting disturbing by the day, the fact that Yuu always tends to somehow drag him away from you, it bothers him. Is something the matter with you? No, it couldn't be. He has other things to do, and he shouldn't care about this. But, why does it feel wrong? He knows nothing about you, and he won't do anything about it until he has permission to.

Kalim had taken notice as well, so now he knows how serious it might be in the future.

Clearly, something is going on in Yuu's head, but he surely doesn't want to know, whatever is happening at Ramshackle's.

One night, he decided to drop off some leftovers because he thought you two woukd starve without dinner.

Imagine to his surprise when he saw something he shouldn't. Does he back away? Of course. But he doesn't have his phone. Nor can he tell to anyone since he knows Yuu has more influence on others more than him. Where is this coming from? He hasn't seen this side of Yuu. Or, has Yuu even shown their true colors, yet? Or if they even had any.

He'll help, especially if Kalim is worried about you, he is sure Kalim's request would be about helping you. So he has no say in it.

Did he just see Yuu picturing you from behind? Huh...

Vil:

Okay, so as I've mentioned before, I had hc Vil having stalkers in the past, because you know??? Celebrities' life ain't all that without consequences of being famously known to the world. So, I would say, Vil knows Yuu's strange behavior??? But, let's say, it wasn't clear enough since yk it could be another Rook. But, this one is different, with the way you flinch at loud sounds, especially with the banging noises or fireworks, similar to guns, you'd jump at the sound of it. Why would you, though? Vil doesn't have enough evidence to file a report about Yuu, but especially if Yuu is his 'friend'. Remember, Yuu will always find a way to manipulate things for their own benefit. But Yuu is more cautious around Vil. Yuu isn't completely dumb running around with their mouth filled with bad rumors, since Vil is a well known acter and star, Yuu needs to be careful with how they word things, it needed to be reasonable.

It wouldn't take long before Vil caught on later in their friendship. The reader had been kept hidden for long, long enough to bump into Vil one day, with a menacing stare a celeb could have.

He didn't mean to, of course. He is just curious about you. Not really.

Rook:

Okay, so as you'd expect, he knows something, not all, but something. The thing is, maybe Rook would surpass Yuu's presence detection. So, depending on the scenario you choose, Rook will try to befriend you because your like some hidden star to him.

And actually, I'm not good with hc him but... I feel like he would want to help you without Yuu's knowledge? Like, he hangs around Yuu, sure, but in the background, he's like, giving you company, you know? [It feels like Neige and Vil all over again but in a different scenario...]

It wouldn't be surprising if he knew both Yuu and you were... swapped. Like, you used to be like Yuu and Yuu used to be like you, in a way. Maybe, if he helped you get back to 'yourself' again, you wouldn't feel that empty need to be something once more.

He wants to help, me thinks...

But the thing is, idk how though, so I want you guys to imagine with me 😔🪽.

Epel:

Okay, so his character... uhm, Epel would fall for Yuu, since Yuu is using an identity that doesn't belong to them. More like, they try to fit in as the peoples desired person (which is why I used 'you' for the plot to continue-). To be honest, probably Epel genuinely thinks your the bad person here, since I don't know??? Please for the love of plot my brain is so mushed every time I look at the drafts- anyway, Epel would be like those typical bullies (maybe with Ace if he fell for the tricks as well?)

Sooner or later if he finds the signs, he'll maybe start doubting himself, on who he should trust. If others are doing the same, surely Epel will be in a conflict, not because he doesn't know whether he bullied someone innocent unintentionally, but also was siding with someone much sinister than they appear to be.

And hey, so uhm, is it normal when Yuu sneaks into your room unknowingly?

He thinks he's hallucinating that night, maybe not...

The End.

A/n: hoiii I'm so tired naman... but if any of you have any ideas on how to add more to their emotions and conflicts with their relationship between Yuu and Reader please do so!! I am running out of creative fuel🥹

[mbruben-stein]

Hellooo! I was wondering if you would be open to writing a 2012 leo x fem reader? The scenario would be him getting jealous of someone (maybe one of the brothers or casey etc.) talking with reader too much? They arnt dating though, so his jealousy is confusing until he explains that it's bc of his love for her. That's just a general idea of it - you can do whatever you feel motivated to write!! Ty I love ur work!! 💕

Jealousy

~Leo x fem reader.~

You laughed as Casey finished telling you an amusing story about his latest hockey match. The two of you were hanging out in the lair, sitting on the couch and chatting while the turtles trained with Master Splinter.

"Man Casey, only you could score a goal and take out two opponents at the same time by 'accident'," you teased, making air quotes.

"What can I say, I've got mad skills," Casey bragged jokingly, throwing an arm around your shoulders. "Seriously though, you should come watch me play sometime. I'll dedicate all my goals to you."

"Sure, I'd like that," you agreed with a smile. Casey was like a brother to you and you enjoyed spending time with him, even if he could be a bit of a goofball.

Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed Leo pause in the middle of a kata, his eyes narrowing as he glanced over at you and Casey. There was an unreadable expression on his face before he quickly resumed training. Strange, you thought. Leo had been acting a bit off lately, becoming withdrawn whenever you hung out with Casey or one of his brothers. You wondered if something was bothering him.

As if on cue, Leo finished training and headed over to where you and Casey were sitting. "Hey guys, what's up?" he asked, trying to sound casual but you could hear a slight edge to his voice.

"Not much, just swapping stories," you replied. "Casey was inviting me to watch one of his games."

"Oh. Well don't let me interrupt," Leo said tersely. He crossed his arms. "Seems like you two have been hanging out a lot lately."

You furrowed your brow in confusion at Leo's tone. "Um, I guess? Casey's my friend. Is there a problem with that?"

"No, no problem," Leo responded, not quite meeting your eyes. "Anyway, I've got some things to take care of. See you around." With that, he turned and strode out of the room.

"Geez, what's eatin' him?" Casey wondered. "He's acting weirder than usual."

"I don't know, but I'm going to find out," you declared, getting up to follow after the blue-masked turtle. This moodiness was very unlike Leo and you were determined to get to the bottom of it.

You found Leo in the dojo, angrily thwacking away at the practice dummy. He didn't acknowledge your presence, just kept pummeling the dummy with increasing intensity.

"Leo? Is everything okay?" you asked hesitantly, approaching him.

"Everything's fine," he grunted, not pausing his assault.

You sighed. "Come on Leo, talk to me. You've been acting strange lately, especially whenever I'm around Casey or your brothers. What's going on?"

At the mention of Casey's name, Leo delivered a particularly vicious punch that nearly knocked the dummy's head off. He stood there breathing heavily for a moment before finally turning to face you.

"You want to know what's going on? I'll tell you," he said, an uncharacteristic harshness in his voice. "I don't like how much time you've been spending with them, especially Casey. You're always laughing and joking around with him."

You stared at Leo, taken aback. "I don't understand. Casey and the others are my friends. Why should it matter how much I hang out with them? And why single out Casey?"

Leo let out a frustrated noise, running a hand over his face. When he looked at you again, the hardness was gone, replaced by vulnerability.

"Because I'm jealous, okay?" he admitted quietly. "I'm jealous of how easy it is for them to make you smile and laugh. I'm jealous that you seek them out to spend time with. And I'm especially jealous of Casey because..." He swallowed hard. "Because I'm in love with you. I have been for a long time."

Your eyes widened and your heart began to race at his confession. "Leo..."

"I know. It's stupid," he said, looking away in embarrassment. "I mean, I'm a mutant turtle. How could I ever think you would feel the same way? You deserve a normal life, with a normal guy..."

"Leo, stop," you interrupted, stepping closer and placing a hand on his arm. He glanced back at you in surprise. "I don't want normal. I want you."

"You do?" he asked, hardly daring to believe it.

You nodded, smiling softly. "I love you too, Leo. I'm sorry I didn't see it sooner. I guess I was a little oblivious to why you were acting so weird around me lately."

The hopeful smile that spread across Leo's face was quite possibly the most beautiful thing you'd ever seen. Slowly, giving you time to pull away if you wanted, he reached out and cupped your cheek with his large hand.

"Is this really happening?" he murmured, gazing into your eyes intently. "I keep thinking I must be dreaming."

"If it is a dream, I don't ever want to wake up," you whispered back.

Needing no further encouragement, Leo closed the remaining distance and captured your lips with his in a searing kiss. Your eyes fluttered shut as you looped your arms around his neck, pressing yourself closer to his solid body. His hands dropped to your waist, pulling you flush against him.

The world around you faded away as you lost yourself in his embrace. All of the pent-up longing and desire you both had been repressing came pouring out. Your hands roamed over the hard planes of his shoulders and shell, marveling at the strength you felt there. His own hands slid under the hem of your shirt, his calloused fingers leaving trails of fire on your skin.

You nipped playfully at Leo's bottom lip, eliciting a low churr from deep in his chest. Your tongue darted out to soothe the bite and he eagerly granted you access, your tongues tangling together. You were both panting when you eventually broke apart for air.

"Wow..." you breathed, resting your forehead against his. "That was..."

"Incredible," Leo finished, a blissful smile on his face. "I love you so much, Y/N."

"I love you too, Leonardo," you murmured, saying his full name. "My fearless leader."

He chuckled at the nickname before sobering. "I'm sorry for acting like such a jealous idiot before. I should have just talked to you instead of letting it fester."

"I'm sorry too, for not picking up on the signals," you replied. "But I'm glad it all worked out in the end. And Leo? You have nothing to be jealous about. You're the only one for me."

Joy and adoration shone in Leo's blue eyes and he wrapped you up in a tight hug. You nestled your head in the crook of his neck, savoring his closeness.

"Aw yeah, got it!" a voice suddenly cheered, startling you both. You whipped around to see Mikey grinning triumphantly, holding up his T-phone which was clearly recording. Raph and Donnie were right behind him, smirking.

"Mikey!" Leo scolded, flushing. "What the heck?"

"Dude, we've been waiting forever for you two to finally get together! This is totally going in the family scrapbook," Mikey declared.

"Ugh, now they're going to be even more disgustingly cute together," Raph fake gagged, but you could see the genuine happiness underneath his gruff exterior.

"As long as they keep the PDA to a minimum while I'm working in the lab, I fully support this," Donnie added, winking at you.

You buried your burning face in Leo's shoulder as the brothers continued teasing you good-naturedly. Leo wrapped an arm around you protectively.

"Alright, show's over, give them some privacy," another voice cut in. Casey strolled in with April close behind, both grinning ear to ear.

"Congrats you crazy kids, we're really happy for you," April said warmly.

"Thanks guys," you said, giving them a grateful smile. You glanced at Leo. "But would you mind clearing out for a bit? I'd like to have my boyfriend to myself for a while."

"Boyfriend, huh? I like the sound of that," Leo murmured, pressing a kiss to your temple.

"As you wish. Try to keep it PG though!" Casey called cheekily over his shoulder as the group made their way out, leaving you and Leo alone once more.

Leo turned you in his arms so you were facing each other. "Now, where were we?" he purred, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

You smirked, draping your arms over his shoulders. "I believe you were just about to kiss me senseless."

"Hmm, so I was."

And he proceeded to do just that, all thoughts of jealousy long forgotten. All that mattered was that you were finally his, and he was yours. Nothing could ever come between your love.

[writerinthewoods05]

Sylus Qin NSFW Alphabet

Sylus x Fem Reader

So this is the first of the NSFW Alphabets for the boys. At a certain point I'll do a SFW version so keep an eye out for that.

~~~~~~~~~~

A = Aftercare (what they're like after sex)

If it's just a fling I think he would still clean you up and stay the night but I think that would be about it.

If you both are already in a relationship or if HE decides that he wants a relationship he would be so sweet it would border in love bombing. It's not though cuz Sylus is perfect. He would offer you a bath, get you water, cuddle you and massage your lower back. I don't think he's leave you to get you breakfast but once you wake he would carry you to the kitchen and cook for you then.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner's)

Sylus's favorite part of his body would probably be his chest or his abs.

1. He likes his abs because you like them, end of story.

2. He likes his chest because you sleep on it, kiss it, an just in general replace the memories of what happened in your past life.

His favorite body part on you is probably your hips. Double points for hip dips. He has much less 'wholesome' reason for loving that part of your body. Of course he loves laying his head on your lap, or holding your hips while out but the amount of hickeys and bite marks that cover your hips and thighs showed his other motives.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

I don't think he likes to cum on you cuz I personally think he has more than most and let's be real he's too fancy to make the mess. So usually tends to cum inside. Now if you happen to let him cum down your throat he would probably die and go to heaven, or wherever the hell dragons go. Just the feeling of your throat closing around his tip as you swallowed made him hard and heavy all over again.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He's very open with just about everything when it comes to you but one thing that even he is hesitant to telling you is the fact that hes had a very specific fantasy since he met you. I'll set the scene.

Imagine you come home from a hard day of fighting wanderers to a completely empty home. Upstairs you find Sylus laying on the bed waiting for you, naked of course, with a brand new dildos next to him. But surprise, it's not for you. No no, tonight your fucking him up the ass. End of scene. (I could be persuaded to write a fic about this but we will see)

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they're doing?)

The man is sex appeal on legs, he's had more experience than anyone should ever logically need to be frank. His body count is probably as high as his body count if you catch my drift. Not to say he's a hoe, but you know, he had to learn somewhere.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

The hook position for sure. He can pin you down, still be able to kiss you and sink balls deep all at once. I also come bearing a 'gif't. If y'all get me banned for this then I'll quit so behave! https://images.app.goo.gl/H5zaL6LcrcunEwMZ7

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He's goofy in the sense that he will tease you and he might make a joke if you fart or something but for the most part he is very focused on make you lose your fucking mind.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

They do match the drapes. White, and neatly trimmed. I do think that he actually has a bit of hair that goes down the top of his shaft but just a little bit. This man is literally the most well groomed man in the game, there is no way he doesn't help himself trimmed. Maybe if you ask nicely he'll add it as a personal spa day activity...

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Sylus is always romantic to an extent but it really just depends on the occasion. If you are just having a quicky he will be romantic with his words but that's about it.

If it's date night, he would rent you both a nice hotel, rose petals, champagne, the whole nine yards. Again he's a romantic person in general so it kinda comes natural.

Now if it you anniversary he would put everything he has to up his game. Now shockingly I don't think he would rent a place. I think he would clear the manor and leave you a trail to the bed room in petals. He would actually be much more emotionally romantic than normal. He would be slow and sweet and if he's not careful might actually cry from how grateful he is to have you.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

I don't think he jacks off that much now that he has you but he will if your either gone or tired. Or if you are on a mission he will tell you call you and Jerk off while listening to you talk about what fast food you had for dinner. He just needs to hear your voice no matter what your saying. You would most likely be a little confused when you here him stop responding but after a moment he reassures you that he's still there. Just don't ask why he's out of breath or he might just have to hop on a plane to get to you early.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Ok if I were to give an explanation for all his kinks we would be here forever so imma just give you a list. If you want me to elaborate on any later please let me know.

Breath play Breeding Somno Anal Biting Gun play Public sex Bondage Knife play Dom/Sub Evol play?

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Everywhere. Just everywhere. If you decide to tease him in a public setting that's not his fault that your getting fingered under the table. It's not his fault that your getting fucked senseless in the closet hallway. If your anywhere in the manor though the he will just bend you over the closest piece of furniture, staff be damned. They learned real quick to listen and look at the floor when they enter rooms.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

I think we all know by now that this man is always half hard so I don't think it takes much to actually get him going. Usually biting him or kissing him will hit you on your back but if you really wanna rile him up, pull the dominant card. He will play along for a bit cuz you acting all sexy and in control makes him painfully hard and he fucking loves it. Just don't forget who's actually in charge.

N = No (something they wouldn't do, turn offs)

Sylus would never share you. You are his kitten and he would rather you kill him again then ever let another person touch you. He wouldn't care if someone walked in on you both as I previously mentioned but if someone tried to actually join he would probably shoot them, and I mean that literally.

0 = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Listen, Sylus is a munch, don't get me wrong. He's great at eating his kitten and he would never turn down a chance to taste you... But, he's a sucker for you swallowing his cock in your pretty mouth. He would hold your your chin and guide you into him again and again until he a groaning mess. His hips would jolt wanting to fuck your mouth but not wanting to hurt you. He never lasts long in your mouth and cums with a growl in record time. You better believe he's not even near done with you once you decided to swallow his cum, your in for a long night.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Sylus isn't usually very fast paced but he can be rough. Not in a bad way but he will fuck you hard and usually leaves you with a couple fresh bruises from how hard he holds on your hips. He doesn't fuck you fast unless he jealous or drunk.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

For Sylus quickies are like vines, still enjoyable but their just over so quick. He likes to take his time with you. If he had his way he's have you impailed on his cock for hours. Of course he would never turn down a chance to touch you considering how long it took for you to even feel comfortable in the same room with him, but he will always prefer to not be rushed.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He would most likely be down for anything you were up for as long as it doesn't involve hurting you in any way. He'd be fine with even using an (unloaded) gun or a knife if you really wanted it but again he would NEVER agree to engaging in any lasting pain play. Also like I said he would never let anyone else touch you. Your his kitten and his woman and there is no one in the world that he would trust you with other than himself and even then he had his doubts at times.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Contrary to popular beliefs I think Sylus would only last about 2 rounds but only because he edges the bottom the of you so much that by the time he gets to round 2 it's been 4 hours and he's spent. Granted if your still wound up he would eat you out or use a toy on you until your satisfied but I genuinely don't think his poor dick could have more than 2 rounds.

I think he has a fair amount for both you and him. Not like a Christian grey type of stash but he has a chest that lives under your bed. He has multiple different dildos, vibrators, handcuffs, blindfolds, plugs etc. for you and has a strap on dildo a vibrating cock ring and a butt plug specifically for him. No cross contamination because health reason obviously.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

It really depends on your preferences because if your cool with it he will edge you to the point that your eyes are rolled back and your babbling nonsense. If your not he won't tease you while your having sex but he will tease you just during the day. Whether your at a restaurant and he whispers dirty nothings in your ears or he's just being a little shit in general to annoy you. He will find a way tease you no matter what.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Canonically Sylus it a growler, and I do agree but I also think he can be very loud by moaning. That is reserved tho to when you blow him Because it just makes him feral. He definitely talks you through it and I just don't think there's any chance that he could even try to be quiet. You just make him feel so good, he just can't help himself.

X = X-ray (let's see what's going on under those clothes)

So we know that sylus is a undercover switch, I think he would really get off to you being controlling with him too. I don't think it really matters whether it's sexual or nonsexual dominance, if your taking control he would probably be painfully hard. Also if someone is either flirting or being mean to him. If you act protective or possessive he would probably cum on the spot.

Sylus is about 7 inches soft but he grows to 9 inches once he gets his hands on you. Yeah he might be human now but he's still a fucking dragon.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

How high can ones sex drive be, I think is a better question. Lets be real, Sylus is a master of control. Because of this he can turn it on REAL quick. He always wants you but even if for whatever reason he wasn't in the mood, try kissing his neck, it's not that hard to get him going.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

That really depends on what your schedule is. Sylus is literally nocturnal so if you have a schedule like a normal person he would stay up to give you that dick to start off your morning but I think he would pass out pretty quick after cuz when he fucks he fucks hard and for a while. It's his bedtime, just spend a few minutes and let him snuggle you and he'll be out like a light.

Now on the other hand if your also a night owl then he would definitely be up for a while. He would most likely let you cling to him and just do work on his laptop while you nap. He wouldn't leave you though, even if you are out for hours, even if his ass goes numb, he's gonna stay with you until you wake up.

Thank you so much for reading, it means so much to leave a like and if your feeling generous maybe a comment! Again I know I've been gone for a couple months but I am back down that life has decided to stop shitting on me for a bit. I hope you enjoyed this work and I hope to get y'all some more soon!

[justwonder113]

Sharing a bed with Channie

Lee Know ; Changbin; Hyunjin; Han; Felix; Seungmin; IN;

📖 Summary:   Chan is your rock, your guide your everything. He was also the the only person you could go to when you couldn't sleep. ⚠️ Warnings:  CURSING- I literally have no shame; GN reader, reader can't sleep. I Know I said it would be like one bed trope series but I feel like it isn't fully it? Like they lay in one bed for 5 minutes before point is shifted? Playful banter between friednds, Chan and reader are best friends and roommates. fluff, friends to lovers. Not proofread. Mention of burying yourself alive? 🖋️ Author’s Note:   I know I announced that I would write this eons ago but it took me more time thatn I thought it would. I had a clear vision but while writing this I changed everything like at least 5 times. I really hope you'll like it. Thank you for all the love and support you have given me. It means the world to me. Please share your thoughts with me and reblog. Also if you have any type of request please I'll be more than glad to write it. 📝 Word Count:    2.5k 📜 My Masterlist: ☕ Ko-fi

💬 let’s talk! reblogs/comments = love, motivation, serotonin 

You were going to do this! You were not going to back down. You were not a coward! What could happen? The worst thing he could say was no. Big thing! You knew how to take no as an answer... No you didn't.. You would most probably die of shame if he said no. He wouldn't right? No, he is much too kind to deny you of such simple thing. But what if you made him feel uncomfortable? You would rather chew off your own foot than make him do something that makes him uncomfortable or make him uncomfortable yourself. He would tell you if he didn't want it right? You were friends. Quite close ones too. God you were friends! Of course he would find it weird that you wanted to sleep in the same bed. You had nothing explisit in mind tho. You just wanted to sleep next to him. You had trouble sleeping these days and it was starting to affect your everyday life, You were more groggy, more irritable, your head was in the clouds and you couldn't fully concentrate on anything. You tried everything to fix your sleeping schedule but nothing really worked. To say that you were despterate would be an understatement.

For the past 2 weeks the only time you slept peacefully and didn't wake up feeling like shit was when you and Chan fell asleep watching tv. It was the best sleep you had in a while, you woke up feeling like a new person. You were hopeful that you wouldn't experience trouble sleeping like that ever again but sadly nothing had really changed.

You couldn't help but sigh when you saw that it was almost 3 am. You had to get up early too and you had to be on top too. You were going to do it!

You got up from the bed, but before leaving the room you turned back and headed to the mirror. After making sure you were decent at least fifteen times you finally left the room. If it was any other of your friends you wouldn't even thing twice before heading to them, but this was Channie, your channie, the guy you had been hopelessly in love with since forever, but also a guy who only saw you as a friend.

You've read countless times that whenever a person came to their crush with the excuse that they couldn't sleep and/ or had a nightmare(in your case both) their crush always welcomed them with open arms. And they always ended up together after sharing a bed. If there was a fanfiction god you prayed things would go well or you would bury yourself alive and at least that would solve your sleep issues.

You were surprised to see that the lights in his room were on. Was he still working? You had to scold him later, he promised that he wouldn't work until late and would actually try and sleep.

You softly knocked on the door, but there was no answer. After a few seconds you knocked again, but also no answer. Maybe he fell asleep you thought. Feeling bad waking him up you felt bad you turned back to return to your room.

To say that you almost had a heart attack when you saw a dark figure looming behind you would be a severe understantment. You even fell back on your butt. Chan's gasp of your name made you realize it was him, he even tried to catch you but couldn't hold onto you on time.

"Oh my god are you okay?" Chan crouched down next to you, he held your face and carefully examined you while you tried to catch your breathe.

"I think I saw god for a second." You gasped out after a few seconds of gasping dramatically. Chan rolled his eyes at you before asking "What were you doing in front of my room?"

You stumbled for a second trying to find a perfect answer. While staring into his eyes all your courage from earlier had disappeared, you felt embarrassed about what you wanted to ask him. Also the fact that he was only in his pyjama pants didn't help at all. Like you also needed to be distracted by his Greek God body! "I wanted to get water and saw that the lights in your room were on." You couldn't be more obvious you were lying but you still hoped he wouldn't pry. Chan looked at you sternly before sighing. "You couldn't sleep?" You wanted to deny but the way Chan was looking at you, you couldn't lie. You could only nod, feeling disappointed in yourself. Chan looked at you for a second before grabbing your hand and leading you into his bedroom.

"What are you doing?" You couldn't help but ask, when he literally just casually picked you up and put you in the middle of the bed like a pretty decoration on top of a cake. He only told you to stay put and then left the room. You were baffled. You stayed put and only waited for him who quickly returned couple of minutes later with your pillow and the plushie he won for you when you were at the arcade. He instructed to you to get comfortable under the covers and then left again. He took a bit longer this time, but in a minute or two he was back with the cup of tea. Literally how could you not love him? He was so sweet and gentle with you. He really was the most beautiful person to walk this earth both body and soul. You were so touched by this that you forgot all your bashfullness? You leaned in and kissed his cheek. And the bashful smile he gave you?! The butterflies in your stomach were having a french revoluiton.

After you drank your tea, Chan took the glass from you and put it on his nightstang. "Are you comfortable like this? I can go back in my room." You couldn't help but ask. You felt shy laying on his bed next to him. Chan rolled his eyes and got under the cover. You two were so close you could feel his body heat without even touching him.

"I was the one who bought you here so stop overthinking and go to sleep!" Chan grumbled before wrapping his hand around your waist and bringing you closer to his body. You were chest to chest now and your heart was beating so strongly you were worried he would feel it. You looked up at him with wide eyes. "Christopher Bang Chan! What is this behaviour? What did you do to my shy best friend?" Chan smiled, "when was I ever shy?" Now it was your turn to smile mischeviously, "you're right you always were a little shit." Chan pinched your side making you yelp, you couldn't help but laugh at his distaste. "You're a menace." His voice was low, making you shiver. "Learned it from the best." You quipped quickly.

"Brat."

"You love me."

Chan waited for a second before leaning in and kissing the tip of your nose before muttering, "You're right, I do."

You started at him with wide eyes, unable to say anything. Your cheeks felt really hot. "What's with the heart fluttering shit you do? Be carefull Christopher or I might fall for you. What are you going to say about that?" Not going to lie you were dying inside wanting to know what would Chan say. Chan opened one eye to look at you and then closed it. You thought that he would ignore you, he cradled you closer to his body. Your face was against the crook of his neck. You felt like you could melt. You felt so warm and secure,the smell of his shower gel and the musky scent of his body really soothed you, you could even feel his carotid pulse. It was comforting his pulse was almost as fast as yours. Maybe you were deluding yourself but what if he felt the same?

The sound of Chans voice bought you down to reality." I would say it's about time, I've been flirting with you for ages!" What the actual fuck? You immediately jumped up and looked at Chan with the most shocked face ever. He's being doing what now?

"You've been flirting with me?" You needed him to say it again. You needed the clarification!

Chan opened his eyes and leaned up, you tried to read his expression but you got nothing. "Yes? Since forever? I'm surprised you hadn't realized."

"You like me?" You couldn't believe your ears.

"Yes? Why are you so shocked?" He sounded genuinely confused.

"Because I thought you only saw me as a friend and well you do have a flirty personality." -You tried to explain, Chris sighed and fully leaned up. He looked at you for a second before putting his hand on your neck and pulling you towards him. You thought he was going to kiss you and your heart basically did a backflip on top of running 500 kilometers per hour, but instead of kissing you on lips he softly kissed your forehead. When you opened your eyes whitch you hadn't even realized you had closed, you saw that he was looking and you with the softest gaze ever. You couldn't put it to words but it was type of expression that even if you didn't like him you would fall for him head over heels without a doubt.

"First of all you're literally the hottest person ever with even better personality. I would be a fool to not fall in love with you. So trust me my flirting was genuine. Now the second, you always flirted back, you weren't being genuine?" His question bought you aback and you started stammering for an answer but you stopped when you heard him chucke. "Okay okay I'm just teasing. I know you were being sincere. And I'm also aware you have a crush on me. It's cute actually. " His eyes twinkled with mischief as he teased you. You didn't know if you wanted to hit him or kiss him sensless.

"I hate you so much sometimes." You couldn't help but groan. You were feeling beyond embarrassed, both because you knew that he liked you back and because he had known you liked him. What an asshole why did it take him this long to say anything? Chan leaned in and placed another peck on your cheek, making you sigh quietly. "Your raging crush on me says otherwise."

"Oh shut up!" You did smack him on the arm this time. Chan's cuckle filled the room and you couldn't help but also laugh. You felt like a lovesick teenager but you didn't really mind it. Chan's one hand was still on your neck rubbing the thumb mindlessly along your skin, his warm hand not failing to send shiver aftee shiver down your spine, while his other hand was on your waist keeping you close to him. He acted like the thought for a second before muttering "Good idea." And leaning towards you, your lips so close they slightly grazed each other with each breath.

"Can I kiss you?" God were you dreaming? You even pinched yourself and you were awake! Fanfiction God really did exist apparently. You would have to thank them later.

You nodded eagerly, making Chan's smile deepen. And he closed the distance. Chan, your lovely Channie, your best friend and closest companion, the guy you could trust with your life and your longtime crush was kissing you. And it felt beyond majestic. It was everything you had imagined and so much more! His lips were so soft, so warm and felt so nice against yours. Your whole body was like set ablaze and despite feeling so so many times today you felt like melting, like your bones were liquifying. Only he could make you feel that way. So confused and so hopelessly in love. You couldn't help but smile into the kiss, Chris mirrored it and soon you were full on chuckling between giving each other short pecks. You love how lighthearted and fun everything was with Chris but also very deep and meaningful and how he always made you feel so secure. Really, how could you not love him?

Much to your dismay after kissing each other for so long that your lips were already starting to buzz Chan decieed to lean back. You chased after his lips, you didn't care that your lips were buzzing, you felt like you could kiss him until your lips fell off. You felt like you had been deprived of him all your life and you felt greedy now once you got the taste of him.

Chan smiled and gave you a short peck. Then he brought you closed to his body and hugged you. "I really like you, heck I might even love you, this might sound cheesy and I know your menace butt is going to tease me after this but be mine?"

What a dork. You hugged him closer and kissed his neck. "I think I also love you too. And I will tease you about it most definitely, but yes, I will be yours." Chan smiled with his pretty dimples fully on display, he kissed your forehead and then helped you get comfortable on his bed. You felt so calm and peaceful despite your heart still running like crazy, you could feel the sleep approaching. Oh yeah you had insomnia, how funny.

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[lymtw]

hello hello! i don’t know if you’re comfortable with writing this, but if so are you open to writing a toji x reader fic involving period sex? thank you!!! and p.s. i love your writing 😫❤️

A/N: Thank you for reading my works ☺️🫶🏼 I am totally comfortable writing this! I should really put up a post with my do's and don't's. I'll get to that as soon as I find the motivation 😃👍

Thank you for sending in this request 💙

| cw: period sex |

You don't like making a scene out of that time of the month when it comes to spending time with Toji. You don't like mentioning it to him, so whenever he wants to start removing clothes with you during that time, you always make up some excuse. You say you're not in the mood or that you're too tired or that you can help him out, but that's all, and thank god he never pushes it. He would rather take what you offer him or suck it up and bear the horniness in silence, than make you uncomfortable.

Toji knows the basics of basics of menstruation. He knows that you bleed out of your vagina for a few days, and that often times, it's an uncomfortable and painful time for your body. He knows that the fluctuations of your hormones brings on mood swings, and that you have to buy certain products to prevent you from getting blood everywhere.

"Ma," he calls, as soon as he walks through the door of your apartment. He's holding a bag of food in each of his hands. Food that you were craving and requested for him to pick up once he finished his job. Your door was unlocked so he knows you're not out, but you didn't answer him. He put the food down on the dining room table and went on to look for you. He didn't have to look too hard, because you were in your bedroom, the first room he checked.

"Doll?" He calls, again. "I brought the food you asked for. Don't you wanna eat?" He watches you from the doorway. You look down, very much so, and he knows there's something wrong because you answered him with the smallest shake of your head. He hates seeing you all curled up and seemingly lifeless like this. Your body is drowned by one of his hoodies and you're wearing your baggiest sweatpants. Though it looks comfortable, it's way too hot for you to be so covered up. He makes his way over to your bed and sits beside you. "What's up, mama? Why aren't you hungry, anymore?" He gently squeezes your hip a couple times, hoping maybe it'll make you turn to face him, but you don't. You stay curled up.

"My stomach hurts," you say, unsure of whether he heard you or not. All you know is that if he asked you to repeat yourself, you wouldn't out of frustration. You would just shake your head and go back to hurting in silence.

"Did you eat something bad?" He pauses, a small smile curling onto his lips as something else comes to mind. "Baby... have you eaten anything at all, today?" He knows sometimes you forget to eat because you get so distracted by everything else you have going on, and that pit in your stomach often makes you nauseous.

"No, it's not that. I'm on my period." You internally cringe at the use of the word. Despite the power behind being able to put up with this every single month, you can't help but feel fragile and weak at the thought of letting Toji in on it.

"Oh, doll... You should've told me this before. I would've showed up with much fuller hands." He lays on his side, and wraps his body around yours. His leg goes over yours and his hand goes beneath your hoodie and presses against your stomach. "So, your guts are mad that I didn't put a baby in you?" He says, into your back.

"Yeah, a bit," you say, thinking of the stomach clutching cramps you've had for the past couple hours.

"Damn, that's terrible. What about you, huh? Are you mad that I didn't put a baby in you?" He asks, a smile on his lips forming through the unserious question.

You can't deny that, occasionally, you've wondered what your DNA would look like mixed with Toji's in the form of a child. You always envision the cutest little boy with Toji's intense, green eyes and your beautiful hair, and Toji's sharp nose, and your pretty skin tone. You think of how much you would love him, and how you would take on that role of being a devoted and loving mother. You think of how attached you would become to the little munchkin, enough to assume that you would be the one crying on his first day of school, not your child.

"Of course not. I'm not ready to be a mom," you respond, lowly.

Toji would be lying if he said he didn't see himself having kids with you. He often imagines how you would look holding a baby girl that shares a mixture of his and your features. Part of him hopes that your graceful beauty shines, prominently, through those tiny features, but he also knows that it wouldn't be the end of the world if the child ended up looking more like him. To see you holding a mini him would heal something that runs deep in his soul. Regardless of whether your child looks like him or you or it's the perfect blend of both of you, he knows that he'll be begging to cradle them again and again, even if they are the reason he'll be losing sleep. He'll lunge towards them when they stumble and fall, he'll soothe them when they can't sleep, and he'll bear with the messiness and the unstable emotions.

"Good, 'cause..." he sighs and coils even tighter around you. You're starting to feel hot with all those heavy layers on and the additional source of heat that clings to you from behind. "I need to keep you to myself for a much longer while. I can't imagine sharing you with someone else." He smiles when you laugh quietly at the small poke offered to your stomach. "At least, not right now, 'kay?"

"Yeah, okay," you respond, genuinely glad that he feels the way he does. You don't feel ready to take that enormous step either.

"I know that means your periods will keep coming every month, but I can help you in any way you ask me to. You just have to let me know, mama." His voice conveys sincerity and concern. He's serious about you, but he can't stand being shut out like this on things that pertain to your wellbeing.

You wiggle out of his hold and flip over to face him. You smile at him as best you can, despite the storm you feel in your stomach.

"You look small, doll." He chuckles at the way you bring a sleeved hand towards his face. The sleeves of his hoodie are enormous and puffy around your arms.

"Yeah... your sweater was the only thing that was helping, earlier. I felt like the cramps were gonna kill me so I curled up in this because it smells like you."

His smile is so soft. He loves hearing that he was your best source of comfort while you were in pain. "Well, i'm here, now, so you can take that off and curl up with the real thing."

"Mm..." you drop your hand to his chest. "This is keeping me warm and it fits huge on me, so i'm comfortable."

"Come on. I'm warmer and I fit so much bigger on you than this." He grabs the material of his sweater and extends it away from your waist, before letting it go and watching it melt back into a bulky pile on you. "Yeah, this is nothing compared to me, doll. When i'm on top of you, you completely disappear."

You sigh, as if he isn't tempting you at all, but you can already picture the warmth of his body heat and it sounds absolutely divine. "Fine, fine," you grumble, sitting up to pull off the enormous blanket you had been wearing for the past three hours and tossing it towards the end of your bed.

"So, that's why you didn't wanna take it off?" He's no better than the strangers who ogle your body when he takes you out for a date night. Your chest is holding his attention like a puppy with its favorite toy.

"Told you I was comfortable," you say, fixing the twisted strap of your bra before laying back down.

"Did you not want me to see you like this?" He asks, feeling the bare skin of your waist beneath his palm.

"I just feel really gross, Toji. I showered twice and I still feel like I stink, my skin isn't clear, and my body hurts. I never want you to see me this way, but I can't stay away from you every time I go through this."

He sees this as the perfect moment for him to become your heat radiating weighted blanket, and he seizes the opportunity, splaying over you like a net before contracting his limbs around you. He really is bigger than that hoodie with the way he makes your entire body vanish beneath his.

"This..." you laugh, the sound coming out a little choppy due to the newly added weight. "...is much better," you say, your voice a little strained.

"Listen," he says. What he wants to say to you is really important, and he needs you to absorb the information as clearly as possible, so he thinks it's best if his lips are right beneath your ear, just so you don't miss a word he says. "You smell reallyyy good, but you shouldn't be scrubbing your skin raw with too many showers. Also, I didn't even notice the little pimples on your skin 'til you pointed them out. Not that it matters to me, but your skin will clear up in a couple days." He grins at the little giggles that leave you and the slight shake of your shoulders that accompany the sound. "And about the pain... just tell me what you need and I'll get it for you. Anything but a heating pad, because I like whaling on you like this." He pulls away and takes note of the beaming smile on your face. "You heard all of that, right?" He asks, making sure you're not just letting his words go over your head.

"Mhm." You hum, in response. Your hands cup his jaw and pull him closer to you. You pause when he's mere centimeters away from you and just look up at him, adoration clear in your eyes. His gaze flits between your eyes and your lips. You've always been so enticing and appealing to him, regardless of the nonsensical remarks you make about yourself. Toji has every intention of proving that he'll love you the same all the time. This time of the month is no exception.

With a lick to his bottom lip, he takes the leap and kisses you first. You smile as his lips move slowly and gently in tandem with yours. You feel a lot better with Toji around. It feels like he actually melted away your cramps with his presence. You can enjoy him because the pain in your stomach isn't as intense anymore.

He can feel the change in pace of your affection. You're kissing him faster, your hands are balling up the back of his shirt, and your breathing is getting heavier. He decides to take it step further and slides his hands beneath the cups of your bra.

"Does that hurt?" He asks, knowing that it's possible that your breasts feel tender.

"Not at all. Please, keep going. You can even squeeze a little harder," you say, a small laugh following.

"Alright, baby. You wanna take your bra off so I can get in there real good?"

You're a little nervous about where this is headed. You can feel the neediness growing between your thighs, and him touching your breasts like that is only fueling the flame. You don't know if he's innocently trying to soothe the tenderness that vanished a day before the waterfall of blood began or if he's just trying to cop a feel. All you know is that it feels good and that it's a risky decision to take your bra off even if you've already decided to remove it.

"Yeah, I'll take it off," you say, using your elbows to assist you in sitting up. He sits back on his knees as you reach behind you, towards the clasps of your bra. You take a little longer when you notice how he's staring at your chest in anticipation, practically hypnotized as he waits for you to free your tits. You swear you saw his tongue peek out to lick his bottom lip. Those naturally bright eyes of his are dark, the color almost entirely swallowed whole by his enlarged pupils. You have to try not to laugh at how strong his focus is as the cups slide down your chest and the strap ride down your arm.

"Fuuuck, look at you." He's practically drooling as he reaches his hand out to touch. He instantly feels the warmth and softness of your right breast engulf his hand. "You've got a really pretty body, doll. You know I love taking care of it," he purrs, crawling back onto you. You're pushed back onto the bed. Your head falls into the pillows, and you're instantly surrounded by Toji. He leans down, his lips brushing over your jaw while his hands busy themselves with your breasts. "You can't scare me off with a little bit of blood, pretty girl. You can't scare me off at all," he murmurs, letting his lips roam towards your neck. He rolls your buds between his fingers, smirking at the way you shudder at the more intense stimulation. "That feel good?" He asks, hearing the low hums coming from you.

"Mhm... it does." Your cunt throbs with need as he continues tweaking your nipples, brushing them with his thumbs, rolling them with index fingers before pressing them a little. He sucking on that sensitive spot on your neck, really putting in the work to make you want him, badly. "T-Toji..." you whimper.

"Yeah, I know, sweet girl. Just wanna help you feel better." A deep chuckle rumbles through his chest at the feeling of you squeezing your thighs around his waist, chasing friction for your needy cunt. "Need some help with that? Want me to rub your little clit?"

You're too distracted by the pleasure you derive from grinding against his lower abdomen to notice his hand leaving one of your breasts and trailing down your stomach. Just as his fingers go beneath the waistband of your sweatpants, you snap out of your daze.

"No, wait- That's dirty," you say, scooting backwards.

"What are you talking about?" He asks, rhetorically. "It's a part of you. I don't care if any part of me gets covered in your blood."

You look away from him, flustered by his admission. You've never allowed him to touch you down there while you're on your period. This might have been the first time you've directly told him about it, too, so before then, he was just left to assume.

"I'm not a pea brained little boy, and you're not gross for this, baby. Just let me help you feel better."

You contemplate it for a few seconds. You've never done it like this before. The mess would be extreme. You'll be overthinking the things that run through his mind the entire time. Would you even be capable of getting into the mindset necessary to enjoy it when you're so worried about what Toji's thinking?

"Please, mama. Let me make you feel good." He runs a hand over your shin, hoping to soothe your nerves about this.

Your thoughts were starting to loop from how much you were overthinking it. A whole lot of 'what is Toji going to think?' and 'what if he can't go through with it after seeing all of it?' swirling around in your head. The thoughts were going nowhere but down, so you eventually just let yourself go. "Okay," you respond. "Can I just have a minute before we..." you raise your brows, allowing the gesture to finish your sentence.

"Yeah, of course. Take your time." He retracts his hand, allowing you to rise off the bed and make your way to the bathroom.

You're nervous. You don't know what would compel Toji to want to do something like this. You'll accept that it's for your benefit, but what does he gain from this apart from getting a blood covered dick? You know he won't put on a condom. He practically whines every time you tell him to either put a condom on or pull out. Neither of those options are viable for him, so he sweet talks you until you let him go in raw and cum inside you. He always thanks you for staying on birth control. His appreciation is genuine, too. It's not just some douchey speech where he says 'thank you for taking pills so I don't have to stress about cumming inside you'. It's a real, hug and kiss, 'I love you' deserving, appreciation.

You walk out of the bathroom after removing your menstrual product, wearing just the panties you had on and your darkest colored towel wrapped around your hips. That pair of underwear is not your prettiest pair, so you're fine with ruining them so that you don't ruin your carpet on your walk back to the bed.

"Everything alright?" Toji asks, eyes glued on you the second the bathroom door opened.

"Yeah. All good," you assure, sitting on the edge of the bed. You felt as anxious as you did the first time you and Toji had sex together. It was visible in the way you kept your eyes on your folded hands and how you toyed with your thumbs.

"Don't be nervous, baby. It's just like every other time." He smiles at you as you continue to stare at your lap. "You wanna put the towel down?"

"Oh, yeah." The second the towel is unwrapped from your lower body, you feel your anxiety double, knowing that the stain on your underwear is visible. He can see you crossing your legs to try and hide the stain. It's cute, but futile, since he'll see it much more clearly in a few seconds. You're unnecessarily straightening the corners, as if the towel isn't going to be moving around once things get going.

"Good. Now, lay down for me," Toji instructs, the words making your heart drop. "Need you to get all comfortable."

You hesitantly crawl onto the towel and lay on your stomach, concealing the stain on the front of your underwear.

"Flip over, doll. Wanna look at that pretty face." He can tell you're doing everything you can to hide what he expected and already saw. You flip onto your back and cross your legs. "Come on, pretty girl. Don't be embarrassed. It's just me."

You sigh and uncross your legs. Seconds go by and your cheeks are scorching, embarrassment coursing through you so fluidly, not knowing that the sight makes Toji feral. The color, the fact that you're free bleeding and the stain is growing as time goes by, the shame it brings you from not being able to stop it. It's all going straight to his dick. It was already straining in his boxers, but now it's throbbing.

"Good girl," he praises, running his hands up and down your thighs. You feel hot under his gaze. He's not making his attention to your stained underwear subtle at all. You just want to put a pillow over your head and let him do what he has planned.

"You're so cute," he says, reaching a hand towards the loud color between your thighs. He feels the warm wetness beneath his thumb as he tests the waters and rubs your clit through the scarlet tainted garment. He watches you squirm at the touch, your stomach rising and falling erratically at the stimulation. "So warm, baby." He can see the color adhering to the edges of his thumb as he continues to stroke your throbbing clit.

"Toji..." you gasp.

"Yeah, baby. I know."

The smallest pinch between your brows appears as the stimulation continues. It's slow enough to keep you comfortable, but you want more, so you attempt to trap his hand between your thighs so that you can get off on it.

"Open, doll. Keep your pretty legs open for me." He grins at the shuddered breath you release as you release his hand.

"P-Please, Toji. Please, more," you whimper, feeling yourself get closer and closer to your peak.

He's notices how the blood reached higher up the front of your underwear. Right over where he's rubbing your clit, the material is soggy beneath his fingers.

"I'm gonna make you cum all you want, but not like this," he says, abruptly stopping the movement of his fingers. He bows forward and kisses from your slightly heaving mid-center to your lower abdomen. The irony smell of your blood is heavier as he nears the elastic of your panties.

"Let's get these off," he murmurs, hooking his fingers into the garment. Your heart is racing all over again at the thought of him seeing the whole thing, uncensored. The uncontrollable drip of your blood, the messy aftermath of it being smeared and played with by his fingers over the thin barrier of your underwear. It's not presentable, compared to what he got from you every moment before this one. Far from it, but he proceeds with his fearless curiosity, dragging your panties down your hips and thighs, above your knees and swiftly down the rest of the way. He puts them down beside you on the towel before carrying on with you.

In no way would he ever try to embarrass you over something like this, especially since he knows you're more emotionally sensitive right now and even the smallest amount of teasing might hit a little harder than intended. He looks at the overload of red smeared all over your cunt, on the folds, lathered over and through your slit, and streaked over your inner thighs. All he can think about is how cursed you must feel every once in a while to have to go through this every month. He's not stupid enough to think alike to those men who say they would bear the pain a lot better than women and that it's nothing compared to being kicked in the balls. He would take the pain for you in a heartbeat, but since science hasn't progressed so far to make that option a reality, he'll do what he can to help you in other ways.

You watch, intently, as Toji observes what he's seen plenty of times before. You feel different from every one of those times, despite him telling you that this time will be no different. You feel like your heart is about to lurch from your chest because all he's doing is looking. You know it's unappealing. You would give yourself to him entirely clean in this moment if you could.

"I wanna bury my face in there so badly. You know that?" He's so hard at the sight. His dick is twitching at the thought of using his tongue to clean you up. "I'll make it up to you in a couple days," he says, working his constricting boxers off. "Gonna feast on you. Hold these pretty thighs back when you try to crush my skull."

You don't think you've ever felt so withheld by him. Here he is, about to fuck you during one of the few days you refrain from letting him touch you this way, while talking about how badly he wants to devour you. You wouldn't call it unfair of him to tease you with this promise, he just has no other choice. Normally, his mouth is the first thing he gives you when things are getting hot and heavy, but for now, he can only use that mouth to kiss you and verbalize his desire.

"Don't look so nervous, doll," he says, his voice honeyed and his touch gentle on your skin, like he's shooing away all those negative thoughts that threaten your ability to enjoy this. "This is me taking care of you."

Toji did a good job of making you forget that this wasn't just normal sex. You were fed assurance, visually, audibly, and tactically. The second he thrusted into you and felt your incredibly warm and wet walls cling around him, his gaze darted up to meet your eyes. He looked back down for a split second when his hips pulled back, just to see the way you coated his shaft.

He understands that this is intense for you, that you're presenting yourself in a vulnerable state to him, but he's determined to make you understand that he will always try for you. It comes down to him knowing your wants and needs, and when they aren't so transparent, he counts on you to trustfully tell him about the things he can't openly assume.

He's overly generous with your pleasure, going on and on for you, chasing your orgasms with no intention of stopping until you tell him you've had enough. "Come on..." he groans, a deep chuckle following when he sees the way your arms are thrown over your face. "Come on, doll. Give me some attention." He's saying this because he's about to cum, again. He wants to look at you as he spews another load into you. He wants to see the expression on your face when you feel his cum overfill you, again. You lift your arms above your head and expose the way your chest heaves even more to him, but more importantly, the weary and glassy eyes he loves so much.

"Yeah, fuck... Just give me those eyes for a while, gorgeous." He's panting and his hips are stuttering as he stares you down, his lust-filled gaze giving you the illusion of being pressed into the mattress. One hand splays over your waist while the other focuses on nudging at your clit.

The added stimulation makes you jolt beneath his touch. It's heavenly and you want more, and you're right there. "F-Fuck... Fuck, please... Please!" you beg, feeling like you're melting beneath his touch. Your nails dig into the pillow beneath your head in an attempt to stay still for him.

"I know, mama. I know. I got you," he coos through choppy breaths, rubbing your clit fast enough to have you squirming against him. He watches dazedly as fresh crimson decorates his fingertips, anew. The pace of his hips becomes sporadic with his own peak nearing. He's about to bust again with the way your gummy, lubricated walls snuggly wrap around him.

With just a couple more thrusts and the ongoing stimulation offered to your clit, you gush all over him again, a mixture of your cum and blood rushing out of you and onto him before dripping onto the towel beneath you. "Oh my- T-Toji, oh fuck!" Your back arches off the bed, your head thrown back into the pillow as you cry out in pure ecstasy.

Toji is pulling you into his quickened thrusts, putting your tired, pretty body to work so that he can finish, too. He's following after you just a minute later, a deep, growl-like groan leaving him as more of his thick cum is shot into your ruined cunt. His chest rises and falls, long, heavy breaths exhaled through his parted lips. his neck glistens with sweat and dampened strands of hair stick to his forehead.

"How are your guts?" He asks, his words still somewhat breathy as he works to recompose himself after pulling out of you.

"Good," you respond, echoing back that tiredness. "Out of place, but good. That... that did it. No more pain." You think that if you shut your eyes for longer than ten seconds, you'll doze off. As if Toji would let you wake up feeling dirtier than you did before you let him get his hands on you.

"Hey," he calls, tapping your outer thigh. You hum in disapproval of having to open your eyes again. "Doll, we have to get you cleaned up." He taps you again.

"Five minutes," you whine, shutting your eyes tightly before pulling the pillow out from beneath your head and throwing it over your face.

"None of the whining, mama. It's for the best and you know it." He doesn't go on because you don't respond, presumably dozed off. He pulls the pillow off your face and becomes the target of your pointed gaze when light floods your vision again. "I'm not gonna stop bugging you until you get up." He's fighting the urge to tease you about wanting a kiss for that alluring pout on your lips. "Don't you wanna take a nice and cool shower with me?"

"I'm stuck," you groan, exaggeratedly dropping your arm after your feigned weak attempt to move more than a couple inches. "Can't... move."

"Your level of drama outshines the best actors, doll. I see right through it."

You can't even hold back a giggle at that. You clutch your chest and continue on with the theatrics. "Ouch. My stomach doesn't hurt anymore, but there's suddenly a really sharp pain in my chest. So, this is what taken back love feels like, huh?"

Toji snickers at the sound of your pathetic words as he crosses the ends of the towel over your lower body. Once the towel is wrapped securely, his arm goes beneath your knees, and the other settles on your lower back. With one swift motion, he lifts you off the bed and starts for the bathroom. He knew you had no intention of moving on your own, so he took the initiative. "Now you're a poet? You would never make it through heartbreak poetry." He looks down at you with a sly grin. "You would be making it all up, because you know how much I love your dramatic self."

You laugh. "Yeah... i'll never be a heartbreak poet." You don't sound like you're at a loss at all. You said it with a smile on your face. You've never been more happy to have lost a path like that.

"That's too bad, isn't it?"

[miriunknown]

Hey, idk if you accept things like this but how about Vampire jinx x human r? It can be NSFW if u want!:]

This is perfect, and for future reference I do accept requests for fics or Headcanons or things like that or if you just want to talk about a certain character you can do that too I don't mind anything really. But this was such a good idea I'm going through writers block at the moment so I'm sorry about not posting as much •́⁠ ⁠ ⁠‿⁠ ⁠,⁠•̀

Midnight Snack

Vampire!Jinx x F!Reader

Summary: Jinx pops into your apartment for a late night snack.

Warnings: Smut, Jinx, Blood, thigh riding, slight begging, might suck tbh, this took me forever to write,

Sapphic, MEN/MINORS DNI

The quiet hum of your air conditioner rang throughout your bedroom, you laid there staring up at the dark ceiling, you couldn't sleep— you've been tossing and turning all night. Every time you'd find yourself drifting off something would wake you back up, thunder would crash, a bird would fly into the window, a book would fall from your shelf, it was getting annoying.

You sat up in bed looking around your room, your eyes landed on the window; you forgot to close the curtains, and you didn't want to get out of bed to close it once you noticed. A tap on the window rang out— you could hear a voice accompany the taps— "*tap, tap, tap,* hello... *tap, tap, tap,*Hellooo..." Your breath hitched, but wait— you knew that voice.

You sighed at the realization, lifting yourself off the bed you approached the window, opening it too revealed the blue haired girl, her pink eyes glowing in the light from the several lights around the other apartment buildings. "Heya toots," she cooed, waiting patiently for you to invite her in. "Jinx, what're you doing here." You breathed out, she frowned. "What I can't come visit my girl?" She asked, hurt evident in her expression. "You can, I just wanna know why." You said giving a small kiss to the tip of her nose. "C'mon, let me in. We can have some fun..." She said grinning, flashing her pointed canine's.

"c'mon in then." You said, said stepping to the side allowing her to jump in through the window. "So why'd you decide to come over?" You asked, suspicious of the girls motives. "Oh, y'know figured I'd pop in for a midnight snack maybe." She said grinning, you groaned knowing what she wanted. "Again? That's the third time this week, and it's Tuesday." She just laughed, "oh don't act like you don't like it. Especially after yesterday, I didn't think you'd be that into it." She said a smug smirk on her face, your face flushed remembering what happened the night before.

"I— I don't like it that much..." You tried to argue but you both knew that was a lie. She just looked at you blankly, "seriously? You must've forgot then.. let me remind you." She sat on your bed pulling you to her, situating you onto her lap. You scoff lightly, "you could at least ask me." You added, she groaned "please toots, please will you let me drink your blood... I'll be good I swear, please let me taste you." She begged laying her head on your chest, reveling in the feeling of her head pressed against your boobs.

You bit your lip, she looked so gorgeous tonight. Not only that, she was begging you. And how could you possibly say no to that? A small wine escaped your lips, "fine.." you said and she immediately rewarded you with a kiss, the kiss was desperate and sloppy; she was eager and you could tell, the way your lips collided with hers made you feel like you were in the clouds.

She pulled back eagerly leaving sloppy open-mouthed kisses along your neck causing a small moan to fall from your lips. She waisted no time in sinking her teeth into you, you moaned the pain being overshadowed by the pleasure you felt. Her hands found their way to your hips as she began grinding you on her thigh, you felt your face get hot as she continuously rocks your hips back and forth.

Between the pleasure from her biting you and the pleasure from her thigh you were seeing stars, you were a hot mess of moans and whines as she started grinding your hips on her even harder.

She pulled her lips from your neck, licking at the wound as she peered over to see your face. She adored the sight of you like this— cheeks red, eyes half lidded, your hair sticking to your face, the sweat glistening off your pretty face. "Fuck— you're so gorgeous doll.." she mumbled searching your neck for a new spot to bite.

She stood there scanning your neck for a fresh spot to bite, scattered amongst the many old wounds you had splayed across your neck. All while she was encouraging you to ride her thigh, finally finding a spot she sunk her teeth back in you; a loud moan bubbled from your chest as she did so, you could feel yourself coming undone.

Your grinding was starting to get sloppier the more Jinx drank, she could tell you were close. Her hands still hugged your hips making you speed up, "fuck— Jinx.. I'm-" you couldn't even finish what you were attempting to say before you finally reached your orgasm, the hot pleasure washing over you as Jinx continued to grind you on her.

Jinx was reluctant for her teeth to leave your neck, but she wanted to see your face. She pulled back lapping at the blood that pooled from the puncture marks, you were slumped over your head resting on her shoulder as you panted, your face was hot and you were seeing stars and Jinx loved every second of it.

"Here toots, let's get ya on the bed." You could here Jinx mumble as she shifted you off of her thigh onto the bed she was sitting on. She laid you down and took the spot next to you; immediately bringing her arms around you to spoon you.

"Maybe I should pop in like this more often.." she mumbled before closing her eyes and falling asleep.

I'm so sorry this took so long, I know I haven't posted much but goodness life has been hectic and I haven't had many ideas for writing. I will be posting a new fic soon and spoiler it involves a certain redhead. ｡⁠◕⁠‿⁠◕⁠｡

[glowettee]

how to recover from chronic procrastination (not just time management tips)

by mindy @glowettee

i wanted to talk about healing your relationship with time and tasks when you're stuck in a deep procrastination cycle. i've been in this cycle for a month now, and just recently got out of it using all of these methods. please just remember to be gentle to yourself, and take small steps.

understanding your procrastination:

identifying emotional triggers: notice what feelings come up right before you avoid tasks. is it fear? overwhelm? sometimes it's as subtle as a tiny flutter of anxiety

recognizing avoidance patterns: maybe you always clean your room when essays are due, or suddenly need to reorganize your pinterest boards before studying

spotting perfectionism links: notice when you're not starting because you're afraid it won't be perfect. this often shows up as "i'll start when i feel more prepared"

understanding fear responses: your body might feel heavy, or you might get suddenly sleepy when facing certain tasks. these are actually fear responses in disguise

mapping procrastination cycles: track how one avoided task creates a domino effect of more procrastination. it's usually a sweet little pattern we can gently break

emotional recovery steps:

healing task-related anxiety: create tiny, sweet rituals that make tasks feel safe. maybe light a candle before starting or use your prettiest pen

building self-trust again: start with promises so small they feel silly. like "i'll work for just two minutes" and actually stop after two minutes

developing completion confidence: collect evidence of times you've finished things, even tiny things like making your bed or sending a text

managing overwhelm spirals: catch yourself before the "i have so much to do" spiral starts. write everything down in your prettiest handwriting

creating safety in starting: make beginning feel cozy. wrap yourself in a soft blanket, make tea, create a gentle environment for work

rebuilding work capacity:

micro-task training: start with tasks so tiny they feel almost meaningless. maybe just open your laptop or take out one book

starting-point exercises: practice just beginning things without the pressure to finish. it's like dipping your toes in a pool

momentum building: string tiny tasks together like beads on a necklace. each small completion leads to another

success spirals: document every tiny win in a pretty journal. watching the pages fill creates its own kind of motivation

confidence restoration: celebrate completing even the smallest tasks. treat each one like a tiny victory worth noting

practical healing methods:

task relationship repair: make peace with tasks that scare you. talk to them like old friends you're getting to know again

emotional safety nets: create comfort zones within your work space. maybe a special corner with fairy lights and soft pillows

anxiety soothing techniques: develop gentle ways to calm your nervous system. perhaps counting flower petals or tracing patterns

overwhelm prevention: break everything down into pieces so small they feel almost silly. like "open notebook" as a complete task

progress preservation: keep a soft, gentle record of all your tiny steps forward. no progress is too small to celebrate

creating new patterns:

gentle accountability: find ways to be accountable that don't feel punishing. maybe share your tiny goals with a friend

achievement recognition: notice and celebrate every small completion, even just getting out your materials

progress celebration: create sweet little rewards for progress. maybe a favorite song or a moment with your comfort book

pattern interruption: catch old patterns with gentleness. "oh, there's my pinterest avoidance. how sweet of me to try to protect myself"

identity rebuilding: slowly start seeing yourself as someone who can start and finish things, one tiny step at a time

maintaining recovery:

preventing relapse: notice early warning signs with kindness. catch yourself before the avoidance cycle starts

managing setbacks: treat setbacks like gentle reminders to return to your healing practices

building resilience: each time you start again, you're building stronger foundations

sustaining progress: keep your momentum gentle and sustainable

adapting strategies: adjust your approaches with tenderness as you learn what works best for you

remember: recovering from chronic procrastination is about healing, not just forcing yourself to work.

tip: small wins create the foundation for bigger changes 🤍

p.s. you're not lazy, you're healing from task trauma.

[ladybirdswritings]

Pretty Thing - Cooper Howard (Ghoul) x Reader

Summary: You're a shiny, pretty prize worth more caps than can be counted on ten hands altogether. There's something special about you, and the Ghoul is determined to figure out just what it is.

Notes: I caved, so here is part 2 <3! Lmk if u love this and I'll write more (feel free to leave me lots of comments and interactions, they motivate me!!)

pt. 1 | A03 | masterlist

pretty thing | 2…

“Please kindly rectify that you did not kidnap this innocent lady and you’re just— borrowing her.”

Their voices were a muffled, incoherent sound. Like ocean waves, rising and falling into pocketed parts of your brain.

“Well sweetie, I could go on n’ lie to you if it helps ya’ sleep better. Then again, I don’t much care how good you sleep.”

The sound of hissing air being breathed in with a moan, and exhaled with a grunt followed those words. The voice was familiar. Sudden, hazy flashes of the Ghoul circling you like a shark reentered your hectic mind. The other voice… it belonged to the doe-eyed brunette.

“Coop, kidnapping is wrong. Besides, what use do we have for another responsibility? What’s left of the NCR would have gladly taken her in as one of their own. Another vault, even, a good one! You’re robbing her of that choice!”

A gruff, deep hum left the Ghoul’s lips.

“Doll, I don’t give a rat’s ass bout’ the NCR. I ain’t no saint, vaultie. Rough economy these days n’ she looks like a useful lil’ thing, don’t she? Besides— she’s in a far better place than the one those underground skillet boys you like to fuck had her holed up in.“

Warmth was encasing your wounded skin, prickling at your senses. It was the most alive you’d felt… the closest you’d been to consciousness in months. Yet, you couldn’t quite pry your gaze apart.

“It’s just wrong…” the brunette whispered after a long moment’s pass.

No matter how wrong it was, well, the Ghoul didn’t much care. He knew well that Lucy would be on her way soon and he couldn’t do much to stop her. Now, he had been a lone wolf for centuries but— there was something about company that made him feel less ghoulish and more— human.

Silently, he liked that.

“You find that tin-lover of yours?” The Ghoul asked, hoping to steer Lucy’s mind away from her moral dilemmas. It worked, because her gaze lit up once more.

“Nope! But I did find some leads. Once we make our way to the city where we were headed, I’ll detour for approximately four days and then if all goes well, I’ll find you again! But with Maximus… doesn’t it sound amazing?”

The city?

“Hm. Guess so. Only thing is, tin-man could be dead by time we get to the city. Now— if I was you, I’d get gone and find him fore’ those roaches start to pick him apart.” There was a mischievous kind of joy at the idea of it, and it was laced proudly in his voice.

Silence again, warmth prickling stronger. Closer.

“But what about you, Coop?”

His laugh was a hoarse, aged and cold sound. As if to say everything his words could not. Lucy understood it immediately. She knew well that the Ghoul could hold his own. He’d done it for 200 and some years, after all. Perhaps she’d grown comfortable working as a team. Perhaps…

But Maximus…

“You’re right. Better to get a head start… what about the girl? She’s high profile. You know those keepers are gonna come right after you and they won’t stop. Us vault-dwellers can be incredibly persistent about the things we are passionate for.”

You couldn’t see it— not while you slumbered, but the Ghoul could only smirk at sweet Lucy’s words. Proud and mangled.

“Oh I know, sweetie. N’ don’t you worry bout’ pretty thing over there. She’s gon’ be well taken care of.”

A threat? A promise? An idea? Perhaps all three— perhaps all at once.

“…right. Look, I grabbed this on my way out. It’s a file— her file. Maybe you’ll figure out what you should do after you read it.”

As if the Ghoul hadn’t figured it out entirely already.

Pretty thing was worth something.

You were worth something. So? He’d do whatever he needed to so to get whatever the fuck made you so special out of you, and he’d drown in caps for it. Enough caps to buy him another century worth of yellow vials. Another century to find his family.

“Mm. Get goin’, MacLean.”

With a nod, she did— bidding farewell to dogmeat and sparing her partner another cautious glance before the sandy dunes engulfed her. Off to the city.

For the second time since you’d met him, you found yourself all alone with the mangled Ghoul. Only, you weren’t strong enough to truly see him just yet…

Pity. Cause he? Well…

He was looking right through you…

🏷️’s @isabellekenway

[revolutionsingingintherainnn]

Hii i love love love your desi reader fics!! It would be really nice if you could write an Oscar Piastri x desi!reader fic maybe reader is a fan of Oscar and meets him accidentally? and they kinda hit up immediately? like a strangers to lovers fic <333

crashing and clicks ⋆⭒˚｡⋆

๋࣭ ⭑⚝ op x desi!reader ¸.♡.¸

๋࣭ ⭑⚝ fluff ¸.♡.¸

masterlist ☾☼

travelling to an expensive country like monaco, and watching the monaco grand prix had always been a dream of yours. your sole motivator for years of working had been to earn enough money to spend a proper one week vacation in monaco, including paddock passes for your favourite team, mclaren, and a chance to meet your favourite driver, oscar piastri.

you had a camera around your neck and you clicked pictures as you walked through the streets. people, cars, building, the sheer luxury that screamed from every atom in the city. you were trying to build a portfolio. something good enough that you could quit your 9-5 job and pursue photography full time. you had an instagram account already. you shared your pictures, and you got likes and comments. you had a decent following, though, nowhere near how you much you would need to be a good, reliable photographer.

of course, your parents had questioned that multiple times, with the usual questioning of "what will people say?" "how will you live on such an income?" "just find a rich man to marry first, then do all of this."

you had indulged in their line of questioning the first two times, and then gave up. nothing would stop them from convincing you a steady income was better and photography was a hobby, not a career. you understood that it came from a place of concern, but it still hurt a little bit.

your body clock reminded you that it was time for some chai. apparently, no matter what timezone you were in, at 5 o'clock, your body instantly craved tea. quickly looking for a nearby cafe, you walked in, making sure to protect your camera.

standing in queue, you quickly put your camera inside your bag carefully, and pulled out the amount you would need as you surveyed the menu. a chai tea and an almond biscuit would do.

quickly ordering and briefly chatting with the woman at the counter, you waited at the side for your name to be called. you knew they were going to butcher up your name, so it was easier to just stand close and wait for your order on your own.

when they called out your name, ruining it, of course, you quickly took your hot tea and the plate with the almond biscuit, and turned, looking for a place to sit. finding a corner table near the window, you started making your way over. the cup was filled to the brim, and you were trying to make sure that it wouldn't spill.

just as she reached her table and was about to set her cup down, someone crashed into her from behind, muttering quick sorries as her drink spilled all over the table, and her hands nearly soaked in the hot beverage.

"oh my god, im so sorry. um, are you hurt?" you were ready to fight whoever made you drop your tea. but you knew that voice. you heard it in videos over and over again.

slowly turning around, you came face to face with oscar piastri. the oscar piastri.

if you'd met him in any other circumstance, you would probably have been more excited. for now, your spilled tea was a much bigger concern.

your eyes fell on the spilled cup, and you said in a small, dejected voice, "my chai,"

oscar followed your gaze, instantly realising what you were talking about and why you seemed so sad. "oh my god, i'm so sorry! my friend and i were playing around, and we didn't mean to spill your drink,"

"yeah, really sorry about that," a voice, lando norris' voice said from behind oscar, looking apologetic and mildly amused.

"don't worry, though, oscar's going to buy you another drink." lando stated, clapping a hand on oscar's back.

oscar turned to lando, confused, "i am?" and then immediately turned to you, "i mean, yes! i am! i'll buy you another drink!"

you sighed, "no, it's not necessary,"

"no, no, i insist. i spilled your drink, i should get you a new one," oscar insisted.

you wanted to say no, that it didn't matter. but oscar piastri was offering you a drink. that felt like a once in a lifetime opportunity.

you agreed.

oscar immediately smiled, and you smiled back. you didn't know why, you just wanted to after seeing his soft smile.

"great! well, i've got to run, so enjoy your little date!" lando said, before rushing off.

you had forgotten that lando had been standing there too. his insinuation that this was a date made you blush. this wasn't a date. right? he was oscar piastri. you were you.

regular people don't go out with rich people on dates.

oscar gestured for you towards the counter, and with a shy smile, you did. he followed closely behind, a little air of awkwardness between the two of you.

"what were you drinking?" he asked while the two of you waited in line.

"oh, i had ordered tea. never got to drink it, though," you teased.

oscar smiled softly, "i am sorry about that,"

you nudged him slightly, "it's okay, i was just teasing,"

"so, a chai tea?"

you stared at him incredulously, "how dare you?"

oscar's face filled with panic, "what? what did i do?"

"it's not chai tea! it's either chai or tea!"

"but it's called chai tea!"

"no, oscar! chai means tea! tea in hindi is called chai. so, chai tea is essentially-"

"tea tea,"

"exactly!" the two of you had moved up the line, your hands flying as you spoke animatedly.

once at the counter, you ordered your drink, oscar sneakily paying for it after you insisted on doing so, and this time, oscar held your drink as the two of you walked back to the same table where you had originally spilled your drink.

the two of you sat together. the two of you talked. about anything and everything. it didn't really matter. you had plans for the day. you were sure that oscar had plans for the day. but, well until after sunset, the two of you sat at the table, ordering drinks after drinks, and just kept on talking.

you told him about your country, and your life growing up, and what you were doing in monaco. he told you about his country, and his life growing up, and the differences in the media about his job.

you told him about your career, and your passion, and your freedom. he told you about his career, his team, and his independence.

you told him about your pet, and your favourite moments with your best friends, and your beautiful, beautiful mother.

he told you about his trips around the world, and his favourite moments of having lando as a teammate, and his beautiful, beautiful mother.

there were so many things to talk about. there wasn't enough time. technically, you were going to see him the next three days because you've got the paddock passes. but, you won't be able to spend time with him. and it made you a little sad to think about.

oscar walked you back to your hotel. the walk was a little long. but you didn't mind. you got to spend time with him. that's what you wanted, and that's what you got.

somewhere, sometime along the way, your hand ended up tucked in the inside of his elbow. somewhere, sometime along the way, he leaned in closer to you. somewhere, sometime along the way, you realised that oscar piastri was everything you had been looking for.

you weren't sure if it would work. for one, it would have to be a long distance relationship, with minimal visits from your end because money was always a little tight. for another, oscar had an ever-moving job. there wasn't any stability, at least not that you could see.

what were the chances that it would work?

before he left, he asked for your phone number. of course, he did. you gave it to him happily, albeit a little shyly. you were going to see him the next day. he knew that too. he made you promise to text him once you had reached the paddock, because he wanted to see you.

oscar piastri wanted to see you.

you agreed.

that night, you went to bed with a smile on your face.

the next morning, you checked your phone as soon as you woke up, not sure what you were expecting. but whatever you were expecting had come true, because there was oscar's message right there on the top, telling you about how excited he was to see you.

you danced your way through your routine, you sang your way to the paddock. you had a smile on your face that you couldn't erase, and you just had a good feeling about this.

as soon as you reached the paddock, you texted oscar. though, before you could find him, lando found you first.

"hey, you're the girl from yesterday!" he exclaimed, pointing at you slightly.

you laughed, "yeah, that's me,"

"what are you doing here?"

"i have the paddock passes for the three days, and oscar told me to text him once i reached,"

lando smirked, "oh, he did, did he?"

your cheeks heated up.

"y'all are cute already. come on, i'll take you to him," lando said, and began walking.

you followed him.

you were nervous suddenly. how were you going to greet oscar? what if he didn't want to see you inside wherever lando was taking you? what if he just wanted to have a quick chat with you and move on?

to distract yourself, you took pictures. people, drivers, the paddocks, everyone and everything.

lando noticed your camera, and made you promise to show some later.

finally, you reached oscar. he was in the team kit. his eyes lit up when he saw you and your heart did a little something funny.

"y/n! hi!" he said, as he rushed towards you, stopping right in front of you.

lando giggled, slapping oscar on his back as he walked away.

"hi,"

"you made it!"

"i mean, i did have the paddock passes," you teased.

his cheeks became pink, just slightly, as he rubbed the back of his neck, "that's true, yes,"

"i'm happy to see you, though," you said, taking a brave step forward.

he smiled radiantly, "so am i,"

and then, he led you around the paddock, introducing you to people as if he hadn't just met you yesterday. he showed you all kinds of places, told you all kinds of things. you clicked pictures as much as you could, wanting to add them in your digital diary.

and that's how your three days went by.

oscar showed you every place possible, you captured everything you found beautiful.

now, if most of the phots ended up being oscar's, that's not your fault. he didn't have to be beautiful.

you captured the cars on track, and you captured the fans. you captured the team reactions, and you captured the machinery.

you captured pictures of lando laughing with his team, and you captured pictures of oscar discussing with his race engineer.

just after qualifying was when everything changed.

lando had pole position, with oscar starting p2. it was a papaya front row. both drivers were excited to win for the team. after the interviews were done, oscar had told you that he would change, and then he'd drop you back to your hotel. while you waited in the paddock for him, lando approached you.

"show me the pictures you took," he said.

"you demand a lot,"

he rolled his eyes, smiling, "alright, show me the pictures you took, please,"

you giggled, "that's more like it," and you handed him your camera.

you were suddenly nervous about him looking at the pictures you took. they weren't amazing, but they weren't bad either.

lando went through the pictures, focused, and your anxiety grew.

just then, oscar approached.

"hey guys, what's going on?" he asked.

"osc, you didn't tell me how talented she is,"

"what do you mean?"

you chewed on your lip.

"i mean that these pictures are fucking good. i bet if we show them to zak or andrea or whoever, they'd hire her,"

"lando, come on-" you started.

"i'm serious, y/n. come here, oscar, look at these,"

oscar shifted towards lando, leaning over his shoulder to see.

"guys, i haven't edited them yet, and like, a lot of them are trash-"

"fuck, these are really good," oscar didn't say 'fuck' a lot, and for him to be saying it in the moment seemed like a big deal.

"y/n, what if you edit these pictures tonight, and get them tomorrow to show to the media head?" oscar asked.

you hesitated.

"look, you wanted to pursue your passion, but you were worried about the money, right? this kind of solves all of your problems," he stated.

"what other problems? long distance kinds?" lando teased, wiggling his eyebrows.

"shut up!" oscar said, though his ears were tinged red.

"okay. i can do that. it's worth a shot," you said, staring at your camera, before you looked at oscar, who was already staring at you, "right?"

"right." he nodded.

you took the camera back, and you walked with oscar to his car. the two of you made idle conversation. your mind was buzzing with the million possibilities of what could happen tomorrow, not just with the race, but with your career.

you knew that lando and oscar weren't so cruel that they'd lie to you. but you also knew that you pictures weren't as good as they claimed it to be.

"hey, don't overthink it, okay? go with the designs and the pictures you think are the best," oscar softly encouraged you, as he parked in front of your hotel.

you nodded, taking a deep breath, before you leaned in and pressed a kiss to his cheek, "thank you,"

and you climbed out of his car.

you were awake almost all night, designing and redesigning your pictures, choosing the best of the best from your trip. you were filled with anxiety, but you also felt alive. you were excited to see where this would lead to.

just before you went to bed, close to 5 am, oscar's name popped up on your phone.

"come an hour earlier, please" he'd said in the text. you had replied immediately, letting him know that you'd be there.

another message came from him, but you were already out cold by then.

you woke up buzzing, excited to see the reactions you would get for your photography. you tried not to get your hopes up too much. there was a big chance that all of it could end up meaning nothing. but, you were still grateful for the opportunity.

as per oscar's request, you arrived at the paddock an hour early, immediately walking to where you knew oscar would be. it was funny how you knew the paddock so well already because of oscar showing you around.

you found oscar quickly, and he didn't waste any time in grabbing your hand and pulling you into an office.

"where are we going?" you asked.

"the media head wants to see you,"

"damn, i don't get a hi hello then?"

oscar stopped suddenly, causing you to crash into him. he turned to look at you. the two were you were standing close, closer than ever before.

"hi, y/n," he said with a smile.

"hi, oscar," you replied, matching his grin.

"ready to go now?"

you nodded, "yes,"

and he began pulling you away again.

once he found the media head, he pushed you towards her.

taken slightly aback, you introduced yourself, and handed her your ipad with the pictures on it.

the media head was nice when she spoke to you, but once she started looking at the pictures, you began to worry again.

you turned and looked at oscar, who gave you a little thumbs up of encouragement.

she nodded, handing the ipad back to you, and you quickly took it from her.

"they're good. they could be better. you could start with an internship position here, and we go forward from there, if you're willing,"

"yes! thank you so much!" you exclaimed.

she discussed the logistics with you, about meeting with the legal team later and meeting zak and andrea, and everything. all you could think about in that moment was that maybe the thing between you and oscar could actually end up being something real.

safe to say, everything went smoothly after that.

as soon as she was out of your sight, you immediately turned around and threw yourself in oscar's arms, unable to stop yourself. oscar hugged you back eagerly, his arms wrapping around your waist tightly.

as you pulled back, you whispered, "thank you,"

oscar smiled, the two of you still wrapped in each other, "this way i get to keep you with me everywhere,"

you laughed and nodded, "who knew a stranger crashing into me could lead to all of this, huh?"

oscar blushed again, "i did apologise for that!"

"what if we go out again and i'll make you try proper tea?"

he smiled, his eyes flicking to your lips once, "i'd like that,"

years later, on your wedding day, you posted pictures of oscar in his sherwani clicked by you, with the caption "from crashing and clicks to forever dreams come true."

•´¨*•.¸¸.•*´¨•.¸¸.•

hi! thank you so much for reading! i'm still trying to figure out how to write oscar. i think i relate more with lando and max personality-wise, so it's easier for me to write rpf about them. anyways! this was my first oscar x reader! i hope you like it. this is my prompt list, so y'all can select a number, give me a driver and i will write it as soon as possible! i also have a google form for a taglist if anyone's interested! you can sent in your requests here :) i'd love your support! https://ko-fi.com/kavi2305

[impactedfates]

Letters Unsent - Genshin + HSR Boys x GN! Reader

★ Summary: After their death, you find a letter. A letter he wrote. A letter he wrote for you, a letter he wished he could’ve given to you personally. A letter describing his feelings.

☆ Characters Included (Separate): Diluc, Wriothesley, Cyno, Argenti, Jing Yuan + Gepard

★ Genre/Trope: Angst + Hurt/No Comfort

☆ Warnings: Major Character Death (Not the Readers)

★ Extra: Angst is fun, angst is nice :)) // Might make another part with different characters if this does well // Not fully proof read // Motivation came back cuz of sad tunes/hj

He said he'd be back, that it'll be quick. Despite your worry, you knew he was strong, so he'd be able to protect himself right? So you trusted him. Trusted him so much that when his co-worker showed up to your door with an expression you couldn't exactly read, you were confused. It was about him but...he was fine right? Then why were they telling you he had passed? The injuries he sustained was...to much for his body to handle? The healers couldn't help him? But...he said he'd be back...you were snapped out of your thoughts when they handed you a letter with your name on it. "I think he knew he wouldn't be able to make it...so...he wanted you to have this...even if he couldn't hear your answer"

"To My Dearest,

If I'd ever be lucky to even call you that. Although this isn't ideally how I wanted to do this. I believe I can only get these things on paper, it's much too difficult otherwise. I was never good with words so I hope this alternative is alright for you.

Ever since the day I first laid eyes on you, I knew you were different. Not in a bad way. It took me way too long to figure out the reason for this was due to the fact I loved you.

I loved seeing your smile.

Hearing your laugh.

Loved the small talk we had that would end up with me taking you home. You made me feel something I didn't think I would ever feel, and I'm unsure if I even deserve it.

If I even deserve you.

Whether or not you feel the same way, I hope we can stick together as long as time allows us.

Sincerely

Diluc."

"To Y/N

Hope you're doing well, life in Meropide is still as dull as ever. Well, unless you decide to visit, you really do light up the room when you come by don't you? Or maybe that's just for me.

Anyways, preferably I would be telling you this in person, but more work has piled up. That's also why our little tea sessions have to be put on hold for now. Don't worry, as soon as this all clears up and I investigate this one area, then we can go back to the usual.

I have this one blend I think you'd really like!

Anyways, enough beating around the bush.

I like you.

Like like you.

I love you.

So much.

I can't even begin to describe how much I love you, and even if I did I feel you'd be gagging at how cheesy I was being haha!

But really, I love you so much. I want to be with you, of course I understand if you don't feel the same. But Sigwinnie would have my head if I postponed this confession any longer.

I hope to see you again after my work.

Yours Truly

Wriothesley"

"Hello Y/N

I never thought I'd be writing this kind of letter in my free time. Unfortunately for me, it seems as though fate likes making things harder for me and whenever I want to even try to talk to you about this, it's much more difficult than it was when I practised in the mirror.

Or...

Well...

Practised to Tighnari.

We can ignore that for now though as I'm still trying to put this all together in words.

I would let you borrow my TCG set, you can use it as you please and I'd even let you touch my limited edition cards.

If that's not making any sense then how about a joke?

How does a fruit confess?

They say "Olive You"

.

.

.

Get it, because an olive is a type of fruit, and olive sounds like "I love"

.

.

.

I love you"

"My beloved rose

As much as I'd love to tell you all these words in person, my search for Idrila is still ongoing and I am unsure when I'll be able to see your beautiful face once again.

Ever since my eyes laid on your beauty, I thought I had found Idrila herself, but once I got to know you. Even if you weren't the Goddess, you could almost rival her.

The sparkle in your eyes.

The pretty little smile.

Your wonderful personality.

All those things you think are flaws? I love each and everyone of them. They are not flaws to me and it pains me knowing you think of yourself like that.

Once we meet again, I want to make sure you know how deserving you are of these words, how your 'flaws' aren't flaws and how much I love every bit of you.

Though I am aware I find many things worthy of praise. I want to let you know that you're different.

I don't just want to praise you, compliment you. I wish to love you, hold your hands and protect you with my life, no matter what it takes.

I love you so much, and if I could be so lucky to call you mine. Well, I think I'd be the happiest man alive.

I will return soon,

Signed

Argenti"

"Morning, Afternoon or Night

I'm not too sure when the Cloud Knight will give this to you, or when I'll give this to them. Whatever the case, I won't beat around the bush too much.

I love you.

Nothing could compare the feeling in my heart when I see you.

The smile that will never fade as long as you're there by my side.

You are just amazing. In all my years of living, never would I have thought to have met someone as perfect as you.

Even Fu Xuan herself can see just how enamoured I am for you, although for her. She's been using it as an advantage to do work.

'If you finish now you can see them quicker'

'How would they feel knowing that you're not working?'

'Stop dozing off or they won't come to see you ever again!'

I must admit, they all do work. Even if in hindsight, not only would I still see you even with work uncomplete, I'll see you plenty of times and more to come but I don't think you care all too much about my sleep.

But I digress.

I hope this letter finds you well, take as much time as you need to consider my words and think about your own feelings.

I'll be waiting where I always am.

Jing Yuan"

"Dear Y/N

Aeons this is embarrassing. But it would be even more embarrassing if Serval kept teasing me about this. I've been putting this off for so long, worried about how you'd react.

Your answer.

And if this would change your view on me...but you're not that kind of person. I know you're not. And after a bit of thinking, to save me from stumbling on my words. I decided to write a letter.

Serval should be the one giving this to you, so I hope she didn't say anything to you, I would nearly die of embarrassment if she did. Anyways!

So...I know it's probably not much hoping Serval wouldn't say something actually, knowing her, she gave it away with one sentence but...

I like you, a lot. More than you could ever know.

And I'm more than happy to talk to you about this in full once I'm back from my mission.

I can only pray you feel the same, but even if you don't.

I hope we stay friends.

Until next time,

Gepard"

WOOO FINALLY GOT THIS DONE AFTER FOREVER.

Sorry if any characters are OOC, I tried my best with writing what I think they'd write in a confession letter, but I hope you enjoyed this anyways!

[obvithe-bestsoph]

when it hits, i'll be there.

masterlist requests word count: 1.6k

a/n: i'm really sorry everyone! i know i said i was going to post yesterday but I got injured pretty badly at my game and I'm out for the next few weeks so maybe more fics for you all lol. yeah, sorry again, I was just in a lot of pain and found it hard to get motivation for writing. anyway, enjoy! genre: angst to comfort warnings: social anxiety, panic attacks.

summary: you don’t mean to fall apart at his celebration, but when you do, it’s pedri who finds you - quietly, gently, like he’s always does.

You knew it was a mistake the moment the elevator doors opened. 

The lounge is packed. People laughing, clinking glasses. Cameras flashing. The hum of too many voices buzzing beneath the surface like static in your brain. You should’ve said no. Or stayed in the car. Or pretended you were sick. Or just said, “I’ll meet you later.”

But Pedri looked so happy. So excited to bring you this small post-match celebration for the Copa del Rey, a victory dinner for the team, nothing too huge, just the players, their partners, their families, and some staff.

Just enough people to make your hands go sweaty. 

You’ve never liked crowds. And lately, with general life stress and not much good sleep, your tolerance is even lower. You told yourself it would be. You’d stick close to him. Smile when necessary. One hour, maybe two. Then back to the hotel room. 

But within minutes, he’s swept into a conversation with Ferran, who’s waving over more teammates from across the room. Someone else offers you a drink. 

You take it. 

Not because you want it, or are thirsty, but because it gives you something to hold. Something to focus on. 

And when you finally catch Pedri’s eyes from across the room, you give him a small smile - a lie you’ve mastered. He sends one right back, warm and soft and proud. He mouths, “¿Estás bien (are you okay)?” 

You nod.

Lie number two. 

The room gets louder.

Someone near you spills their drink. Another person brushes against your back too close, too casually. The ceiling lights feel like interrogation beams. Your breath begins to shorten before you even notice. You can’t hear what the woman next to you is saying. You laugh anyway. 

Fake. Distant. 

You find a wall. Lean against it.

You scan for Pedri. He’s in conversation still, nodding, charming, his eyes crinkling as he laughs. You’re glad he’s happy. You don’t want to ruin that. 

But your heart is racing now, fast. Too fast. 

You try grounding yourself. Five things you can see. Four things you can touch.

Your palms sting.

Your chest tightens. 

Three things you can hear.

One - someone calling Pedri’s name.

Two - a phone camera clicking. 

Three - your own breath, stuttering and shallow. 

You can’t do this. 

You turn quickly, heading for the bathroom. You keep your face neutral. You don’t want anyone to stop you. If they try, you’ll cry. You know it. 

The hallway is better. Calmer. 

You walk through the restroom door, it’s quiet. That’s all you need.

You slip into the last stall, lock the door, and sit on the floor, back against the cubicle wall, curling into yourself, your hands trembling. Your chest is tightening, breath is coming too fast. Your knees press to your chest. You try to stay quiet. 

You can’t.

Your whole body feels like it isn’t listening to your brain, like it’s betraying you. Your breathing stutters. A whimper escapes. Your hands are icy cold, and your vision feels like it’s going dark at the edges. You clench your jaw, press your fists into the tops of your thighs. 

Don’t cry. Don’t cry.

The sound of the bathroom door opening barely registers in your mind. 

You freeze.

Footsteps, measured and steady, moving softly across the bathroom tile. 

You hold your breath, heart pounding. Please don’t see me. Please don’t hear this. Please don’t know. 

There’s a pause just outside your stall. Then, the sound of someone shifting. Not leaving. Just… listening. 

It’s too late when you realise what gave you away.

Your shoes. The ones Pedri picked out and gifted you for your birthday. The same ones Rosy, his mamá, has complimented before the match. 

You’re not sure how long she will stand there. 

You know it’s her. She knows it’s you. Still, neither of you say anything. 

But then the footsteps move again and the bathroom door opens once more.

And closes. 

She’s gone. 

You’re trying to breathe, trying not to make noise, but your chest convulses, your ribs hurt, your fingers are numb and trembling. 

It’s not the first time.

But it’s been a while.

You feel small and ashamed. Embarrassed. You’d told Pedri things were fine. That you could handle it. And now you’re shaking on a random hotel bathroom floor like a scared little kid.

You try the counting thing again. Sometimes it helps. 

Five things. Five-

You’re still shaking, head spinning, world tilting, when the door opens again. 

Then, a voice you could recognise from anywhere. 

“¿Mi alma?”

Pedri. 

Your breath catches in your throat. 

“Can you open the door for me?” 

You feel like you can’t move in. Frozen in place. Frozen in time. But somehow, you find your hands shakily twisting the lock on the cubicle door. You barely get it open before just takes you in - crumpled on the floor, eyes wet, lips pale and trembling, your hands white-knuckled against your legs.

“Oh, Y/N…”

You turn your face, trying to hide. 

“Please go,” you choke out. “I’m okay… I just- I just need a second.”

He turns your face back to look at him. “No seas tonta (don’t be silly). You’re not ‘okay’ at all.”

You gently brush his hands off your cheeks. “You have people out there. Teammates and friends and- and- and I didn’t want to embarrass you.”

He looks at you like you’ve just stabbed him. 

“Embarrass me?” 

You feel his arms gently wrap around your back. He doesn’t try and pull you to your feet or move you at all. He just holds you there, grounded. Present. Calming. A hand running up and down your spine. 

“Amor, mírame (love, look at me).”

You do, slowly. 

“I would rather walk out of every press event, every match, every conversation in my life than ever see you suffer alone like this again. “No tienes que ocultármelo (you don’t have to hide this from me). No debería ser algo de lo que avergonzarte (it shouldn’t be something you’re ashamed of). Y a mí, desde luego, no me avergüenza (and i’m certainly not embarrassed of it).”

You hiccup softly, tears burning down your cheek. “I didn’t want to ruin your night.”

“My night is only good if you’re okay too.”

He presses a kiss to the crown of your head, not caring if your smudged makeup gets on his shirt. “You’re not some burden to me, ¿lo sabes (you know)?”

You start crying again - this time, not from panic. Just overwhelmed. He holds you through it all. 

At some point, he sits down properly and pulls you sideways into his lap, your cheek pressed against his firm chest, his heartbeat right next to your ear. Strong and steady. 

Beating for you. 

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, once the storm in your brain quiets. “It just… it hit so fast. I didn’t see it coming.”

“I know,” he murmurs, “It’s okay. You don’t have to apologise for how you react. That’s not really your fault.”

You shake your head weakly. “You’re not understanding. I’ve been doing better lately. I didn’t want you to think that I was getting bad again.”

Pedri tilts your chin so you have to look at him. 

“Going through something hard isn’t ‘getting bag again’. It’s being human. And I’m not going anywhere.”

The words feel soothing. 

Safe. Genuine. 

“Te amo,” you whisper, like it’s a secret.

“Te amo,” he whispers back, like it’s a promise. 

Minutes later, when your breath has steadied and the walls don’t feel so much like they’re closing in, he helps you to your fet. You feel shaky, but stronger with him beside you. 

“Do you want to leave?” he asks softly. 

You mod. 

He slips his hoodie over your head and walks the two of you out of the bathroom without a second thought. Doesn’t say goodbye to anyone. Doesn’t check over his shoulder to see if anyone is filming. 

Only keeps his arm snug around your waist.

The walk through the hotel is quiet. Peaceful.

His fingers never leave yours. 

When you reach the room, he helps you change into soft clothes, tucks a blanket around you, and brings you a drink. He doesn’t hover, helicopter or smother. He just stays close, offering quiet comfort the way only someone who really knows you can. 

At one point, you whisper, “Do you still want me to come to things like that? After today?”

Pedri looks genuinely confused. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“I don’t want to make you worry.”

“I’d rather be worried than smile without you.”

Your throat tightens again. 

“And, inevitably, when we do something like that again,” he adds, “We’ll have a aplan. We don’t even have to stay the whole time. We’ll make signals. We can go together, leave together. You never need to be stuck like that again.”

You lean into him, your head resting in the crook of his neck. His arms tighten around you. 

“I’m proud of you, you know?” he says quietly.

“For what?” “For being honest. For trying. For getting through it.”

You let the silence stretch for a while, but it’s warm now. Comfortable. 

Then you whisper something you hadn’t let yourself believe before;

“Thank you for not making me feel broken.”

He shakes his head against your hair. “You’re not broken. You’re the strongest person that I know.”

And he kisses you, it’s not rushed, dramatic or particularly passionate. Just slow. Certain. 

You fall asleep in his arms that night - not because you’ve forgotten how panicked and overwhelmed you felt, but because, for once, it doesn’t own you.

Because someone saw you at your worst… and stayed. 

And somehow, with him there, it starts making the world feel okay again.