#and new ones can be more aligned to his current state ^^

[townofcadence]

General update, but I'm very excited to come back to my blog! I wanted to sooner, but I've been getting ready for a big move and didn't want to get distracted. But that should be finished this weekend so I'm very excited to draw and write and be here again ^^

To help start up again, I may consider all threads on the blog concluded unless someone asks to continue a specific one. That way i can hop in with new stuff and not be too overwhelmed. I'll try to reach out and send in things to start some new ones when I'm able to be online fully again!

[blackthornwren]

About "Twin Flames"

If you scroll through the witchcraft, tarot, or divination tags with any sort of regularity, you are bound to come across the mention of Twin Flames - and you may be thinking, “oh, this is just another flaky term for soulmates”. You’re partially right, but it’s also a cult. The Harmonious Twin Flames Universe is a cult that was created by Jeff Divine (formerly known at one point as Ender Ayanethos) and his wife, Shaleia.

Much like Scientology, HTFU aims to take your money by exploiting your weaknesses - specifically, a desire to love and be loved by a soulmate. HTFU relies on similar cult models as L. Ron Hubbard’s Scientology and Keith Raniere’s NXIVM; combining new age concepts with religious belief, as well as multi-level marketing and wellness. Twin Flames recruiters often use YouTube or other social media platforms, offering divination readings using numerology, tarot, angel numbers, etc., to essentially cold read a new recruit and get them interested in the HTFU.

One of the main features in the HTFU is the use of the “mirror exercise” which aims to take any event that left the participant feeling sad or unhappy and re-frame it in a way that places the blame directly on them. It is specifically designed to adjust someone’s thoughts and keep them within the cult, and rapidly becoming more dependent upon it.

How:

By offering courses for “ascension” and instruction on how to “clear blockages”. Participants pay for these classes and begin a cycle of instruction which frames every bad thing in their life as being their fault; and that they must continue to pay for further teachings to remove these spiritual blockages which prevent them from ascending to their more divine self - which will make them deserving of their own perfect Twin Flame.

Additionally, because the HTFU demographic is a majority of women, former members of the cult have stated that the leaders and the readers will attempt to even out this imbalance by informing cishet women that they are actually the embodiment of the divine masculine in their Twin Flame relationship. The gaslighting is real, y’all.

Former members have cited abusive behavior amongst the leaders and inner circle members; this information can be found in books, podcasts, news articles, and documentaries that have been created about the HTFU over the last few years. The point of the cult is to create a vicious cycle of emotional abuse that keeps its victims dependent on expensive classes that give nonsense answers and shift blame back onto the victim, which then keeps them coming back for more.

Why it’s Important:

Current spiritual and witchcraft communities can use similar language - a repetition of jargon and buzzwords that shut down critical thinking. No, witchcraft as it currently stands, does not have a specific cult that I can tell you to watch out for; but it is important to familiarize yourself with the language so that you know what to look for. Influencers can be dangerous; people who put themselves in a position of authority, promising things such as:

-Online attunements, alignments, or initiations. You know how reiki has attunements and you have to pay for them in order to level up your reiki skills? Yeah. That’s because reiki is a holdover from a cult too. The internet has made it so much easier to work these kinds of grifts as well - because everything can be done online, over zoom or a voice call; and well, sometimes it “doesn’t take” and you have to get the ritual done again…for a fee, of course. But hey, maybe you’ll get a discount if the first one didn’t work!

-Things that build dependence such as the promise of exclusive mentoring, healing sessions, guidance and ritual. In and of themselves these are not necessarily a red flag, but it’s how the person behaves, how they attempt to steer a customer’s mind that makes the difference. Do they try to keep you coming back for more? Do they tell you that you are under some kind of attack? Do they make you feel special or chosen?

-Perpetuating an Us versus Them mentality that is both hostile and isolating. A charismatic leader will also portray themselves as a victim of unfair persecution; and with this they look to get you on their side, make you isolate yourself going to extreme lengths to defend and protect them - after all, you may be “the only one they can trust”.

There can also be specific focuses on things like the law of attraction, spiritual hygiene, and paid-for purification rituals to clear your miasma or put you in tune with your higher self/guardian angel/guiding spirits/etc. These practices can be extremely exploitative; not just taking a customer’s money, but also creating a mentality of blame - if things are still going wrong, they feel as though they haven’t been purified enough or they’re not “clean enough” to reach their guardian angel/attunement/higher self/whatever. Additionally, the fear of things like spiritual or psychic attacks, psychic vampirism, or spiritual parasites cultivates this feeling of dependence upon a person who appears to be wise and powerful that can “save” or "protect" the victim.

The capitalism and the consumerism of the current witchcraft community is literally setting us up for a cult. The substantial increase in influencers working to monetize their craft by selling expensive services and classes is already a very good entry point for someone who wants to take things further and create a very dependent, very parasocial, very exploitative relationship with a group of loyal followers.

[voidsuites]

VOIDSUITES 10K RELEASE !!! (3/16/25) ⌢ 🌿 .ᐟ

art donaldson ・゜゜・．five minutes. even with divorce proceedings going as smoothly as they possibly could— thank god him and tashi are in agreement about everything— nothing prepared art for the reality of his daughter recognizing her parents aren’t going to live in the same place anymore; that their ideas of home are no longer aligned. his world’s shaken-up, he’s beyond being hesitant to ask for reassurance, and all art needs is five minutes of your time— just five. for annie! @grimsonandclover

art donaldson ・゜゜・．out of the loop. art, well… he always tries his best to keep up with what’s current and popular for your sake— among other things— but sometimes there’s a learning curve and other times he simply doesn’t get it. there’s only so many times a man can be reminded of the gap between him and his partner before it becomes a sore subject for him to pout about. (based off your countless dilf!art social media aus/texts bc your humor is off the charts) for ava! @coolgrl111

art donaldson ・゜゜・．yuck. while paparazzi photos are nothing new to the two of you, a night out after celebrating one of art’s challenger wins is immortalized in the form of photos and accompanying tabloid articles. it’s not the end of the world, sure, but those moments were for you and art, not the rest of the world. art’s just lucky you’re smitten with him enough to entertain his teasing instead of kicking him out of the apartment altogether. (unofficial sequel to the talk talk!art bot!) (based off of “yuck” by charli xcx!) for katerina! @katerinathesaint

art donaldson ・゜゜・．throwing in the towel. nobody said that recovery for your knee would be easy, but no one mentioned how everyone would start walking around on eggshells with you throughout the process. you’re the duncanator, for fuck’s same— you’re not broken. you will return to playing tennis… but you really should let someone in just in case things don’t pan out the way they’re supposed to, and art’s willing to be that crutch for as long as you need him. for merry! @newrochellechallenger2019

carmen berzatto ・゜゜・．rock ‘n’ roll suicide. graduation’s come and gone, summer’s dragging way more than he’d anticipated, and every day that passes leaves carmy feeling more and more like he's wasting time. he’s too old to lose it and too young to choose it, but maybe there is a something else planned for him besides working at the beef and being alone. you’re an angel keeping him preoccupied while he’s in this state, and carmy’s positive there’s no romantic gesture in the world that could convey just how grateful he is for you and your continued supportive presence in his life. (late teens!carmy) (based off of “rock ‘n’ roll suicide” by david bowie!) for elle! @mrmoonymoons

jonathan byers ・゜゜・．remorseful reflections. after a week of hell— full of monsters and men, secret government lab experiments and a little girl that could flip a van with her mind— will byers is home. and while jonathan couldn’t be happier… the lingering dread of potentially being the reason for will’s disappearance in the first place is eating away at him. it’s clearly serious if not even the psychedelic furs can cheer the elder byers boy up. for zoe! @bluestrd

natasha romanoff ・゜゜・．forwards beckon rebound. if natasha’s life is meant to be a continuous cycle of strife, pain, and torment— dragging everything and everyone she cares about into its endless spiral of loss— she’d rather it just swallow her whole already. too bad you won’t let that happen; not when you’ve both already lost too many friends and loved ones for a lifetime. sometimes, she just needs to be reminded of the family she has left than solely dwelling on the ones that are gone. (based off of “forwards beckon rebound” by adrianne lenker!) for juliana! @jclolz22

patrick zweig ・゜゜・．my love mine all mine. with the historic, volatile feud between the zweigs and your family, there was no chance they would understand that you two could feel anything but hate for each other. they didn’t need to know that the two of you were seeing each other in secret, nor did anyone else who’d run their mouth instead of swearing themselves to secrecy just like you and patrick had. even the moon knew that you were patrick’s and he was yours… so what are you both to do when the world finds out your secret? (romeo & juliet-esque) (based off of “my love mine all mine” by mitski!) for diya! @diyasgarden

patrick zweig ・゜゜・．BITE. patrick zweig ・゜゜・．BITE. mlm. while it’s not his first time at a queer club, it is the first time patrick’s gone and actually been himself. promising himself that he’ll finally get over the memories of sharp brown eyes and blond curls haunting him and forget them for good, patrick’s pleasantly surprised to find the perfect someone on the dance floor and shoot his shot. and hey, if they want to sing him like a choir later, he won't say no to that. (based off of “BITE” by troye sivan!) for ellias! @weirdfishesthoughts

patrick zweig ・゜゜・．supercut. who knew working at aces of tomorrow tennis camp would be like this; all caught up in a whirlwind romance with a fellow camp counselor like patrick. while you two keep things secret, you’d be lying if there wasn’t a part of you desperate to define the situationship even if it ends in heartbreak. while it’d be easier to just focus on the good parts— to live in your little supercut of greatest hits— you have to know if patrick even remotely feels the same as you do. (camp counselor!au) (based off of “supercut” by lorde!) for indigo! @angeldressedasindigo

patrick zweig ・゜゜・．maps. once upon a time, the four of you had been close— but now, twelve years since tashi’s injury, patrick’s emerged from the past and he’s dead set on trying to win all of you back. tashi and art have proven to have moved on from the affair, but patrick always knew you were the weakest link out of your old quartet; if art’s never had a backbone, you’re worse than spineless when it comes to confrontation. what’s patrick got to do to convince you that he’s worth all the trouble and heartache? (based off of “maps” by the yeah yeah yeahs!) for isabel! @cryinginanuncoolway

patrick zweig ・゜゜・．let her go. love comes slow and goes so fast, and rebound or not, patrick threw away a chance at a real relationship with you all because of his damn pride. sure, you were his rebound from tashi post-pepperdine match fallout, but patrick’s more than aware now that you meant more than that— that you mean more than that to him. if he’s got to grovel, humiliate himself, and kiss the ground you walk on to be forgiven, so be it. it’s only fair. (based off of “let her go” by passenger!) for mika! @s0ftcobra

patrick zweig ・゜゜・．it only gets stranger. patrick zweig— grade-a jerk, captain of the varsity tennis team with art donaldson, and all-around spoiled rich boy— was the embodiment of frustration for you. he was a boy who’d grown up with everything at his disposal, having everything he could want without ever truly earning it. so it’s all the more jarring to be in the passenger seat of his bmw with his letterman thrown over your shoulders as he drives you home. it’s not like the two of you are friends… but encountering monsters beyond your wildest imagination do have a way of changing things. (stranger things!au) for nori! @leftoverghosts

robin and steve ・゜゜・．rent’s due! when the time came to get out of hawkins and to finally start living the lives you wanted, that’s exactly what you, robin, and steve did the moment you could. chicago’s a fresh new start, and worrying about creatures from the upside down coming back to fight another day has turned into you three stressing about rent and whether you can afford textbooks and groceries that month. that’s adulting for you... but you really wouldn’t have it any other way. for jax! @whimsijoy

tashi duncan ・゜゜・．GOLDWING. when the media had set its sights on tashi when she used to play professionally, she’d welcomed the attention. now that she’s your coach, she’s smart enough to know how important they are to your career while also recognizing how much damage they could cause you if they pried too much into your personal life. take it from a former professional tennis player who’d once been in your shoes: keep your head down. (based off of “GOLDWING” by billie eilish!) for lilli! @apatheticrater

got a request? go ahead and leave em here :) THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 12.9K! and THANK YOU all for being so patient with me as i worked to get this release out. of COURSE i had to get busy up and out of nowhere the moment i posted these slots… will i ever know peace? no. anyways. thank you all to the lovely people above and to ALL OF YOU HERE that have been so supportive and helped me get to where i am now. it hasn’t even been a year since i’ve started making bots (we’re almost there) and we already hit 10k. so wild. love you all with all that i am. none of this is possible without any of you continuing to motivate me and push me to be creative. and if u want more of me u can join my community if u want to… anything that doesn’t get spammed on my feed gets spammed there so yeah. THANK YOU!!!!!!

[fiamat12]

Re: Sohoe - Friend or Foe?

Before you read, please note this post is to focus on a launch not on the character of the Sohoes. I believe all of them in the end have helped L w/ his legal obligations.

Many of us around these parts believe that there was a Part 1 and a Part 2 to the legal obligations w/ a negotiation period in between. The Lukola FBI looked back through Charmaine's ("C"'s) TT & IG activity to see if her current TTs could signal an end to obligations. What we found is that it lines up perfectly w/ our analysis - more specifically our timelines and what we think her role has been...

Let's start from the top w/ C's famous TTs:

1) TTs are similar now (possible end of Round 2) as to what we saw at the end of Round 1 (Aug/ Sept. of '24).

• This tracks. The overall repost sentiments are similar - bad friends and staying silent. She even reposted a TT from the same user, Iman Samone 😉 (see posts below)***

• The reposts after A's Sorrento dump indicated Round 1 could be done, as do the reposts now for Round 2. There was a particular repost on Aug. 25th that pointed to her being on L’s side and showing empathy for him. ⬇️

2) Scanning her timeline, she didn’t do this kind of post in Oct. as it was quite possibly renegotiation time, and she may have been asked to help w/ A's image rehab by then, so she wasn’t able to repost freely.

Now onto C's IG comments in regards to A:

1) She didn't seem to comment on an IG post of A’s prior to May 2024.

• It's curious, but not necessarily accurate since A constantly archives/ deletes posts. However, any difference would probably be minimal as A doesn't have that many posts.

• It could support the fact that she wasn't L's gf or an important part of his life as L's best mates who are active on sm would likely have been more consistently interactive w/ her.

2) From May-July of last year, it was sporadic.

• She’d comment on an occasional post like a new friend would - no dance videos but a few modeling ones, and mostly travel related posts like NY & LA (she is a flight attendant, after all).

• Technically, A should've been a known gf of her boyfriend's close childhood friend. Instead, it read like A was new to the group, because she was (!!) - except to R & S, maybe.

3) In August/Sept., there were no comments.

• Even on A's Italy dump, despite C being there, there were no comments, just a like. The lack of comments continued until Sept. 21st.

• This supports probable knowledge of an Antluke faux break-up, L "reuniting" w/ N and a cool down period

• The Sohoes' silence seemed two fold:

- Their job was done and they didn't serve the narrative anymore. (R's allusion to a drinking problem gave them a nice exit, stage right).

- They were being watched. As @jmuz09 stated: "I feel like this was that period where they were conscious they were being watched, and they all tried to act normal, like nothing happened in Sorrento"

4) From Oct 25, 2024 - March 6, 2025, C commented on every post of A's.

• This perfectly aligns w/ a timeline of image rehab and round 2 obligations and the friends & family support to "get this done".

• She hasn’t commented since March... perhaps the others chipped in for the last push - R did the dance video, JV, her boyfriend T and some musical theater friends did the marathon brunch, and L's sis, MD & S commented on A's last post..

Conclusion:

When all is said & done, I think we had a friend of Lukola helping out when she could... this post is analyzing sm activity but lest we forgot the in- person appearances C made w/ A (scroll back to Nov. if you must) and pics of her that she included on her own IG to likely help her image. More importantly, C has kept liking L's posts (21 out of 25 over the past year), commented "you were ROBBED" on his SMA post and has also regularly liked N's posts. 😊

Posts w/ C's TTs ⬇️⬇️⬇️

[bluesidez]

Gym Rat Miguel Part 15

content warning: more angst, mentions of food, mentions of underage drinking and recreational drug use, some suggestive convos but nothing too crazy

word count: 6.4k (@slushycoookie thee wife, thee beta 🩵)

Prev | Next ✩°｡ ⋆⸜ 🎧✮ Masterlist

“Does it show anything different?”

“Will you give me a second?”

GymRat!Miguel who was currently sitting at his desk, bouncing his leg while he waited for Tempest to tell him something good.

“It’s honestly looking like the same thing from last night. And the week before. And the week before that,” she deadpans through the phone.

Miguel turned and pressed his lips to his palm.

His call list was a constant cycle between his friends back home and Gabriel, but mostly Tempest, who has taken the role of checking for any updates from you online.

So far, all he’s gotten out of this was pain. You’ve completely removed anything that involved him from your pages. No anniversary pics, no highlights, no emojis in your bio to refer to him. From how Tempest put it, this was a huge deal.

“Look,” Miguel slumped as he geared himself up to listen to the same speech she’d been repeating. “I know you don’t want to hear this- don’t make that face! - but I think it’s time to give up or try something new.”

“It’s been forever.”

“If your definition of forever is a little over two weeks, then sure!”

“I just thought that,” he paused, mulling over the words in his head.

“That she would bend at your will? You’re cute, but not that cute.”

“No, that’s not- Temp,” Miguel whined. “You know that’s not what I meant.”

She snorted, “Uh huh. Which is why we’re stalking her page like weirdos.”

“If the roles were flipped, I would be doing the same for you. I have done the same for you.”

“Touché.”

Miguel remembered Tempest spiraling over girls she thought was the one, the two of them huddled up over the phone watching as they all moved onto the next.

He sat beside her and reminded himself never to get this way. He perked up like a flower soaking up the sun every time there was an inch of hope, which truly rivaled how Tempest acted.

“I was just thinking that today would be different. Maybe she would think about me today.”

The thought sits in the air, Tempest’s face shifting to one of sad understanding.

“Not trying to feed your delusions, but maybe she hasn’t stopped thinking about you.”

Miguel looked at the screen, a tiny bit optimistic.

“But in all fairness, I wouldn’t want anyone on my page who I thought committed one of the most cruel offenses. I would want to forget everything. You have to see this from her side too.”

Tempest was right, a common state when it came to their friendship. It didn’t stop that ugly rust of selfishness that crowded his heart.

He feels like he’s crying out for you, and you don’t care. A year of being together meant nothing to you.

Saying that out loud was insane, though. It didn’t align with how hurt you looked.

So, he’s been internally fighting the feeling, going from understanding to upset and back again.

“Have you talked to Xina at all?”

“She’s only keeping our conversations about school. And acting like nothing happened.”

“She’s probably embarrassed,” Tempest said. “She got caught this time and doesn’t know what to do.”

“Apologizing could be a start.”

“And that requires admitting she was wrong in the first place, so if you get that, let me know so I can mark the day. I’ll even make a t-shirt.”

The sigh that left Miguel was strong enough to irritate Tempest’s speakers.

He wanted to talk to her about the situation again, but it was like talking with a brick wall. It reminded him of when he snapped at her for constantly hitting him when they were younger. Looking back, they were just kids, and she probably didn’t mean anything by it. The red tint and angry pout on her face as she slid him her chocolate milk as an apology stuck with him.

“Why do you want an apology anyway? Or, why do you expect one?”

Miguel wasn’t sure himself. Xina was his childhood best friend, someone with whom he spent a lot of time and shared secrets. There were sweet memories and joyful moments.

It sucks to see her act so different.

“I think,” Miguel paused, looking off through his dorm window. “I think that-”

“Oh my god, she just posted.”

Miguel almost dropped his phone while he switched back to the messages app.

“What is it? What is it?”

“It is,” she dragged out her i’s. The sound of Tempest screenshotting and tapping away at her phone was like rapid fire. “An event, I think?”

“What event? You aren’t sending the pictures fast enough.”

“I already pressed send! Not my fault I don’t have high-speed internet.”

“Tell your cousin to stop fucking hogging it.”

“Shut up and watch the screen.”

His eyes dart across the screen as he waits for the screenshare to load.

Your account comes up, still intact. Miguel takes in everything like he did back when he first met you.

There were new posts about the sculptures you made in class and food from a new café. There’s also a glimpse of you smiling, and he feels like he’s ready to erupt.

Tempest refreshed your page again.

“This is so against girl code.”

“You haven’t even talked with her before.”

“How would you know?”

“Temp.”

“Right, sorry.”

She taps your story, and a flyer comes up.

“A Halloween-themed festival night?” Miguel says as the story disappears.

“Sounds fun!”

“I’m going to go. Put the story back up again.”

Tempest side-eyed him as best as she could, “Uh, maybe let’s not.”

“Why can’t I? I’m a member of the student body.”

“Do you usually go to these things?”

“No,” Miguel slowed his words. “But I could now? Maybe she won’t even be there.”

“And if she is? Wouldn’t it seem like you’re stalking her?”

He thinks about the many times he’s lingered around the art building, walked by your favorite spot on campus, and stared at corners of the library that you loved to see if you would be there.

“No?”

“Doubtful.”

“I just need to see her in person.”

GymRat!Miguel who doesn’t stop thinking about whether or not you’ll be at the festival.

If he doesn’t see you, he’ll be disappointed, but the panic clawing at his throat won’t shift to his mind.

If he does see you, he’ll be like a fish out of water. Floundering, lost, and begging his lungs to gain its necessities.

He just hopes that going is the right decision.

GymRat!Miguel who goes to his robotics club meetup the next day.

There’s no competition coming up, but the department wanted to revise a moving metal skeleton for Halloween weekend.

“You look like shit.”

“Thanks, Margo. I feel like it, too.”

She pulled his cheek out and made baby noises out of sympathy before Miguel swatted them away.

“Still no luck with your ex? Or is that joint giving you trouble?” she snickered at his sloppy attempt at connecting moving parts.

“Uh, no and yes.”

Aaron peeked up from his station and looked over like a beaver.

“I-it’s not because of what I said, right?”

Margo made a line with her mouth as if to say 'get a load of this guy'.

“No, Aaron,” Miguel mumbled.

“Yeah, Aaron, stop being nosy and get back to work,” Margo joked.

He snapped his welder’s mask back down like a dork and returned to sawing something, sparks flying past him.

Margo looks down at Miguel’s work.

“Well, I hope you can get her back soon because you need to work on your anatomy. Those bones don’t go together at all.”

He looks to a femur and a humerus connected with the sheer will of his clouded mind.

He missed when you attached sticky notes to his body for practice. The prize for getting the different parts of his body correct being kisses. You would laugh at his mistake but give a peck on the lips anyway. His arms were one of your favorite places to put your star-shaped stickers on, too.

“I didn’t mean for you to get even sadder,” Margo snapped him out of the memory.

“It’s fine. My fault.”

Margo shifted her weight as she started to take apart his mistake, “It’ll get better, Miguel. I’m sure of it.”

GymRat!Miguel who sits across from Tyler at one of the uppity restaurants in town. The lights are dim, as if the people eating here are all hiding from something.

“How’s school?” Tyler asked, clothes still managing to glow despite the one warm lamp above the table. He thanks the waitress for refilling his water glass. “Made any new friends? Connections?”

The age-old awkward feeling of trying to concisely describe his growing adult life was at the top of his mind.

“It’s going well,” was always the easiest answer. Simple and open-ended.

Of course, Tyler took this as a sign to delve further.

“Your mother told me you’re taking up game programming this semester. Do you like the feel of that class?”

An ice cube floated to the top of Miguel’s glass.

“I was enjoying it at first, now I’m sort of ready for it to end.”

Tyler cleared his throat, hand covering the frown on his face.

“Ah, well, some people just like the end result, I suppose,” he refolds a napkin, the reflection from his watch panning across the tablecloth. “What about your girlfriend? How is she? Perhaps, you have some new pieces of her’s to show me. My colleagues love the one in the entryway.”

The waiter placed a filet mignon in front of Miguel and bluefin tuna across from him. Tyler moved to tuck the same napkin into his crisp button down.

“I’m not sure.”

Tyler pauses as a slice of fish dangles from his fork.

Miguel is still cutting into the meat unnecessarily, knife scrapping against the plate.

“Son, this cut of meat is like butter,” Tyler said, taking the knife from him and putting it back on its napkin.

A twitch at the corner of his lips almost aligned with Tyler’s. The man racked his brain for the memories of his first son coming home with a similar expression.

He chewed and swallowed his fish stacked with cucumbers and cilantro.

“As you know, I am not the best when it comes to relationships. Nancy and I have had quite the uphill battle. However, I believe I am well-versed in the field of compromise. Should I reach out to her for you?”

It was a long shot, and by the growing shadows on his son’s face, Tyler suspected that his suggestion was a poor one.

“What will that do? Other than show her that I can’t handle my own problems.”

“Surely, you two can work it out. She was lovely, truly,” Tyler frets, afraid he’s made Miguel even more upset.

He just starts to eat, mind elsewhere.

Tyler wondered if he should have ordered some wine.

“When you found out Nancy cheated on you, what did you do?”

Lemon juice from his dish hit his throat right as he swallowed, a hand banging on his chest as he coughed.

“I, uh,” two gulps of water were taken from the glass Miguel handed him. “Well. The fruit of that labor is in front of me.”

“Obviously,” Miguel’s shoulders dropped and Tyler grimaced again. Curse his silly statements. “I meant, how did you feel? What were your initial thoughts?”

“I remember being angry. Here laid the mother of my only child with a much younger and, honestly, less fortunate man. I thought I was foolish to think that my genuine love or money could keep someone.”

Miguel pushed around an asparagus on his plate, “So there was a betrayal. A pain you couldn’t describe.”

“Exactly. For me, that came afterwards. I’m a prideful man. If one thing does not satisfy me, I simply find something that does.”

“And that thing just happened to be my mother?”

“Ah, if you put it like that, it’s far too harsh,” Tyler fixes a cuff. “Your mother provided me a place of warmth, solitude, and love for a short time. It’s something I’ll never forget. I regret the hurt Nancy and I inflicted on each other, but I don’t regret you.”

Tyler watches and waits for a response. His son shifts in his seat and rolls his neck, eyes never leaving his plate.

“Has she,” Tyler tilts his head, “hurt you this way?”

“No, but I broke her trust.”

“You cheated?”

“Never. But we have a lot to work on.”

Tyler might order some bourbon tonight to drink in place of his son and the mopey demeanor.

“I’m all ears whenever you need me. But if there is as much love between you two as I saw earlier this year, then you’re sure to gain in back. That doesn’t go away.”

Miguel takes a deep breath and Tyler believes that some of the shadows on his face disappear.

The meal continued, and the people around them continued their quiet chatter.

“Could you do me a favor?” Miguel asks as they both clean their plates.

Tyler lights up, “Anything.”

“Don’t tell my mom about this?”

Tyler thinks back to the unpleasant things Conchata had to say about her son’s girlfriend and quietly agrees that it’s for the best of she’s out of the loop.

“Your secret’s safe with me.”

GymRat!Miguel who walks up to the festival wearing one of the shirts you gave him for his birthday.

It was an impulsive decision because now that he’s here, he’s wondering if seeing it on him will upset you.

The festival is partially outside and inside, a mix of games, concessions, and small rides for students to enjoy.

He walked under the pumpkin and bat-shaped balloons, and fake smoke from a cauldron moved past him.

It smelled like sour candy apples, and marshmallows. Booths were all around the campus grass. He walked past them slowly, not interested but searching for something.

The turnout was nice for a night when he figured people would be out partying. There were a lot of students walking in and out.

A game caught his eye as he neared the entrance to the student center. It’s a Shoot Out booth with the ducks replaced with black cats and the gun switched to tiny ghost bean bags to match the theme. There’s a giant white bunny with an X for lips, a blue dress, and a bow on its ear.

It’s so you that he couldn’t resist.

The student volunteer told him he had three chances this round to knock out twenty cats for the bunny.

“Everyone’s been gunning for it, but this game is pretty hard!”

Miguel nodded in understanding.

If he focused enough, the bunny could be his.

On his first try, he knocked out thirteen cats, much to the volunteer’s surprise.

“Woah! You’re pretty good! Did you wanna grab anything from this tier?”

There was student association merch and a shirt with the college logo.

Miguel rolled his sleeves up, “No, I’m going to try for the plushie again.”

The second time, he knocked down the last cat with just a few seconds left on the timer.

The girl running the booth smiled with her eyebrows nearly merging to the top of her head in shock.

“I-I guess that means you win the bunny!”

She handed it to him with a lull of awe.

He muttered a quiet thanks and turned towards the doors with fake spiderwebs dangling off them.

There was music, a sign to go to a haunted hallway, and even more tables with food.

He wonders if you would have gotten scared walking through scary attractions with him. You would probably hold his hand as tight as he’s holding the belly of this rabbit.

Scanning the room, he doesn’t catch a glimpse of you anywhere.

Looking down at the little white face in his hands, he started to think he wasted the hour or so he’d been here.

Walking to the table of free cookies, he took a frosted Frankenstein in his hand and bit a bolt off.

He felt like a lost kid as he floated from table to table to stall.

Maybe he should give up. You were probably promoting this event for Jess.

GymRat!Miguel who was finishing off his fifth mummy-in-a-blanket when he saw you leaving the haunted hallway.

The first thing he noticed is the long, blue cardigan falling off your shoulders. The end of it is trailing after you as you run out.

There’s a grin on your face and an air in your steps, something he missed seeing.

The next thing he noticed was that you weren’t wearing your necklace anymore.

Then a hand pulled it up on your shoulders and slid back down your arm.

A guy is standing next to you and laughing as if you��ll give him money for doing so.

He’s tall. He looks like he could be built, too.

It’s like a slap in the face, worse than when you pushed him away.

Looking down, Miguel saw your hand in his, clinging tight. You smile at the guy and reach up to get something out of his hair.

Miguel thinks that there was nothing wrong with his hair. There was nothing to smile about either.

The guy’s hands touch you in places where Miguel has embraced. His fingers were covering the same neck he’d put his head in. His thumbs ran over the apples of your cheeks, the same ones that used to crowd his lips.

You lean into the guy’s chest and say something that he can’t hear.

His stomach makes an angry lurch and he feels that orange being shift to a green one. It’s clawing at him, pulling at his mind.

This wasn’t how today was supposed to end. You weren’t supposed to cling to some random guy. You weren’t supposed to be with someone else.

Miguel turns when he leans down towards you, chest burning. What he didn’t see was not true to him. What he didn’t know was not reality.

GymRat!Miguel stormed out of the building, and images of you happy with someone else faded onto the inside of his eyelids.

The material of his sweater was scratching against his skin as he made his way back to the festival entrance.

Everything was too much. The people were too loud, the lamps were too bright, and the music playing over the speakers sucked.

His nose started to twitch and he wondered why did festival food have so much damn sugar.

Someone nearly hits the ground as he pushes past them, a confused noise hitting the air, but he doesn’t feel inclined to stop.

GymRat!Miguel who almost breaks free from what feels like a harmful joke when Xina spots him.

“Hey!” She ran over to him, leaves crunching against her boots. She’s wearing the varsity jacket he bought her years ago. “Leaving already?”

“Yeah, I,” he stopped when he thought he heard your laugh somewhere deep in the festival. “I’m not feeling too good. Think I’m gonna go back to my dorm.”

“Oh, do you have a fever? The weather did drop out of nowhere,” her hand lifted, fingers twitching like she wanted to see for herself.

She hesitates, scared he’ll blow away.

When her fingers press into his neck, he just wants to cry. It felt like when she caught him crying under the trees on the playground or when he’d show up at his grandma’s house with a chubby face full of tears.

He covers her hand for a second, just one, then pushes it away.

If he talks about it, he’ll break into pieces.

“Here,” he shoved the bunny into her hands. The dress is wrinkled, and the bow is a bit lopsided.

Xina’s eyes grow as sees it. The smile on her lips is familiar, “Thank you. I love it.”

Her mouth opens as if she wants to say more, but Miguel starts first.

“Glad you like it. I’ll see you later?”

“Yeah, ok. Get back safe, Hare-Hare.”

He heads towards his building empty-handed.

GymRat!Miguel who is in denial.

He’s moved past his brain making up you being at the Halloween festival and was now choosing to believe that it was a friend.

The tiny Gabriel on his shoulder was telling him that you had moved on. You had a new boyfriend, so he needed to move on as well—or stop moping about you.

He was choosing to ignore him for now.

It’s been another week since he saw you. Thanksgiving was on its way and he hasn’t been focused in a single class.

At a time when he really needed Tempest to update him, she told him to step back and recenter himself. Something about him not being level-headed.

He didn’t care.

The point of no return was truly here as he stood in front of the elevator in the art building.

A bag of food was sweating in his palm, and the two drinks were seeping into his hoodie, but he would regret it forever if he didn’t try talking to you again before the semester was over.

He’s doing something he told himself he wouldn’t do, but he couldn’t help that he still knew your schedule by heart. Taking a chance on you sticking around for studio hours was all that he had.

GymRat!Miguel who got to the right floor and was happy to see a student leaving the room.

The lights in the hallway were still on and music came from down the hall.

Miguel walked down, peering in every door, leaving once he couldn’t see you or when the people inside gave him weird looks.

GymRat!Miguel who walks into the last studio in the hallway with quiet steps.

Your canvas is almost bigger than you, the top of it covering you as you moved your brush across it.

You had headphones on, star molds stuck on the sides of them.

Miguel sat the food down on the table, moving like a stealthy agent.

Your sleeves were rolled up to your elbows, yet paint was still on them despite your efforts. You looked tired, but god, you were still overwhelmingly gorgeous to him.

He stepped closer. Slowly, step by step, coming into your peripheral.

“Why are you here?”

Miguel paused mid-walk, face like a puppy who got caught.

He should have thought this through more.

“I wanted to see you,” he holds his hands before him. It’s not making him any smaller, but it brings a slight comfort. “Brought some food.”

“’M not hungry.”

An apology is his first instinct, but the sound of your stomach growling speaks for him.

You refuse to look at him, face warm.

“It’s your favorite. Come eat, please.”

Taking off your headphones, you sighed.

“Fine.”

GymRat!Miguel who has to pinch himself to stop staring at you.

You weren’t just tired, you were exhausted. Your eyes drooped as you bit into your fries, and your movements were sluggish.

You didn’t ask for his extra sauce like you usually did. You didn’t even try to steal his fries.

“How have you been?” he asks instead of digging himself further into the sad hole of his heart.

Your eyes flick at him over your glasses and back to your food.

“Really, Miguel?”

“Y-yes? I’m always wondering how you are.”

“Then you should know how I’ve been already, then.”

Miguel faltered.

“You’re not very subtle, you know? I could see you pacing back and forth around campus.”

“Oh,” he slurped his drink nervously.

“And I saw you at the festival, too.”

He almost punctured the styrofoam in his hand.

“So, you’ve been fine is what you’re telling me. I’m gla-” he choked on the words. “I see you’ve…met someone.”

“He was just a friend. You could have said ��hi’ then, if you really wanted to speak with me.”

“Didn’t look like a friend,” left Miguel’s mouth before he could stop it.

You hummed, eyebrows raised, and a click sound from your teeth. “Oh, but now do you see how that feels?” You started to untie your apron.

“I didn’t mean for that to come out in that way. I came here to just talk.”

“About what? How you didn’t actually cheat on me? How you didn’t mean for any of this to happen? How you’re sorry you got caught?”

He bit his tongue.

That was almost what he wanted to say.

“About us,” he said as you rolled your eyes. “I still love you, and it’s killing me not to be with you. This is as plain and simple as I can say it. I’ll say it over and over and over again until you hear me.”

“Miguel,” your voice puffed out, weary and broken, “you cheated on me with your best friend and now you’re here trying to spin this and pull me back. I-I have dignity. As much as I want to pretend like what’s been happening this semester is meaningless, I can’t.”

“And I’m telling you that I would never do that you. Not in a million years, not in this lifetime, would I ever purposely hurt you in that way. Baby, please. Listen to me!”

“I see the way you are with her,” your words fall after his. “I remember the texts. There is something there. I don’t know if I can compete with that and I’m not trying to. So, if you want to be with her, then do that, but leave me out of it.”

Miguel is quick to grab your hands as you try to turn away, “Fine. There is something there.”

You try to yank yourself from him again, the pain from October 13th filling you again, but his hands are faster this time.

“There’s a girl who used to threaten to beat me up if I didn’t defend myself against bullies. There’s a girl who used to trade collectible cards with me in secret because her parents didn’t allow her to obsess over junk, and the girls at school thought it was lame. There’s a trust built long over a decade that has been broken. I do care about her, as I would do with any friend, but you have to understand that I care about you, too.”

“Then why didn’t you show that?” you whispered, tears leaving your eyes. “It felt humiliating, Miguel. That night, I felt disgusting. Like you were just throwing me away. I kept thinking that you lied to me about everything, that you were indulging in something that you never really wanted.”

Miguel reached to hold your face, thumbs sliding your tears away, heart breaking.

“Lo siento, amor. Hm?” he wanted to take your pain away and place it onto himself if it meant that you didn’t talk like this. “It’s not true. What we have created is not some trial run. I love you so deeply, that I was going insane. Knowing that you thought otherwise is painful to hear. The buildup to that night is a misunderstanding. You have to know that.”

You take a breath, “How could I know?”

Miguel stared at your face and thought the same.

He’s been yelling trust, trust, trust and when he thinks back to your few interactions with Xina, it clicks that you truly had no foundation to trust.

“If I had just been better, you would have known.”

Like you said, Xina had walked all over him.

“So what now?” you asked, and pull your sweater over your fingers.

Miguel blinked, “I was hoping to start over? Restart?”

“I can’t,” you said immediately and Miguel tensed. “You entering my life has given me far more ups than downs, but when those downs come, they can be brutal.”

“So, you don’t want me to be your boyfriend, again?”

You shake your head and he felt like it was his turn to cry.

“I want action. Show me that something like this won’t happen again. We can sit here and tell each other promises until we’re blue in the face, but what do those promises mean if one person or thing can ruin it.”

“I’ll do that. I’ll do anything.”

You brush his hair back and wrap his arms around your waist to settle in this feeling. Your thumbs traveled from his hairline to curves of his ears down to his jaw. They rub circles into his skin, slow and rhythmic.

“Have you talked with Xina? Has she confessed to what you’re telling me she has done?”

He shakes his head softly, afraid to break the scene.

You laugh, small and quiet, then unwrap his arms from around you. You go back to your canvas and start to scrape at the glass of the taboret. Miguel was so in a trance, that almost didn’t notice the switch.

“I’m going to talk with her,” Miguel stated across the room.

You wave a hand in the air, unmoved.

He followed you as you go to the mineral spirits bucket to soak your brushes.

“Baby-“

“As far as I’m concerned, you shouldn’t talk to me until whatever you two have going on is fixed. Don’t know who 'baby' is.”

You walk to the sink and turn the water on. Miguel was right behind you and grabbing the dish soap before you can.

“And I will talk to her,” Miguel sayid. You reach for the soap and he holds it out of your reach, petulant. “Baby.”

You give him an irritated look and pinch his neck. He makes a hurt noise and gives you the jug.

“Action. Miguel.”

GymRat!Miguel who waited until you’ve packed everything up.

He didn’t mean for this to turn into him teasing you, but he couldn’t help it. He was getting his fill while he still could.

“At least let me walk you back to your dorm,” Miguel sayid, picking up the wet paper towels you’ve been throwing at him.

“No, thanks. I have a date. I don’t need you changing up my energy.”

Miguel’s smile dropped.

“You do?”

“His name starts with an R, ends with an E. He’s super sweet. Sturdy.”

Reese? Reggie? Raye? Ronnie?

“I see,” Miguel’s heart plummets. “Your friend wasn’t just that.”

“Mm-hm. We’re still testing the waters, but I don’t think he’ll disappoint me.”

Miguel didn’t know what to say. He was nothing but bold, though.

“Who’s to say that…guy won’t hurt you?”

Who’s to say that he would treat you better than Miguel?

You pull the straps of your back over your shoulders and Miguel wants to hold it for you.

A snicker leaves you, “Because he’s made of plastic and is designed of pleasure.”

“Oh.”

“Bye. Enjoy your Thanksgiving.”

Miguel stood and watched you go, wondering if this was progress.

GymRat!Miguel whose bedroom was filled with the chatter of his friends once more.

Friendsgiving was always fun.

GymRat!Miguel who thinks that Lyla is a terrible teammate.

“You’ve got be doing this on purpose,” Miguel groaned as Lyla’s Yoshi pumps the pedal incorrectly.

“I don’t know what you’s talking about!” Her giggles float across the room as saw Miguel get more and more frustrated.

Winston and Tempest were laser-focused, their Monty Mole and Peach following a stead 1-2 rhythm to get their cart across the track.

“Lyla!” Miguel yells as her Yoshi stumbles back. “You’re selling me. You want me to lose.”

The mini-game ends with Tempest and Winston high-fiving each other and Miguel yelling at Bowser to pick his head up.

GymRat!Miguel who laughed as he watched Winston reenact his band director, nearly breaking his neck.

“I’ve never seen a bald man somersault on grass until that day.”

GymRat!Miguel who, full off of food and peach cobbler that Tempest made, stared at the bag of gummies that she placed in the middle of their huddle.

“We can just try this tonight. We’re safe with each other,” Tempest whispered.

“You guys are horrible role models,” Miguel said.

“I don’t know. That blue one is speaking to me. It reminds me of Scooby Doo,” Winston mumbled.

Lyla motioned across one, “Maybe we can cut it in half.”

“That defeats the purpose though. These barely have anything in them,” Tempest complained.

“Says you,” Miguel quipped. “You just called me about a cherry bong the other night.”

“Ok, but wasn’t it cute?”

GymRat!Miguel who nearly jumped out his skin when his door slams open.

Everyone except him shoves their gummy in their mouth with lightening speed. Miguel just holds his awkwardly as he turns to see him mom standing in the doorway.

“Yeah, ma?” he says. He chose to ignore Winston who is over exaggerating, lips smacking.

“Mijo! I have a surprise for you guys!”

GymRat!Miguel who sat awkwardly on his rug, running his wrapped gummy in his palm.

Lyla was practically in Tempest’s lap, tapping at her phone. Tempest is looking around their circle expectantly.

Winston started tapping a fast beat on his arm.

Miguel is looking everywhere except in front of him where Xina was sitting with her chin tucked into her knees.

“It’s good to see you again,” Winston said, forever the peacemaker.

Xina relaxed a bit, “You guys, too. I’ve missed this.”

Miguel saw Tempest softening up a bit at Xina’s words.

“When is stuff gonna hit?” Lyla barks out to which Tempest elbows her.

Xina cleared her throat, “Actually can we talk, Miguel?”

“Yeah, shoot.”

Xina looked around them, “Alone?”

GymRat!Miguel who was standing across from Xina in the office-turned-bedroom that his parents barely used.

“Did my mom invite you?” Miguel asked.

“Actually, Tempest did.”

Miguel raises his eyebrows and nods. He didn’t expect that but he’s not mad at it.

Xina was antsy, arms hiding themselves in the sleeves folded across her body. Miguel stayed quiet.

“So, things between us haven’t been exactly smooth sailing lately.”

“That’s one way to put it,” Miguel looked down at the shark slippers you bought him last year.

“And I have some things that I want to explain to you.”

Miguel raised his eyes expectantly. Xina was mirroring his posture, but her face looked uncomfortable, conflicted.

Her eyes flicker over his before she covered her face and huffs, “这太难了.” (This is so hard.)

“What’s hard?” Miguel asks, pulling together the few times Xina taught him anything. He sat down, hoping it would relax her more.

Her hands drop as she blinks at the ceiling, “Everything. When it comes to you, everything just gets overwhelming.”

“As in?”

She looked at him in disbelief, “As in I’m doing silly shit, again.”

A pause in her words comes as they hear laughter from down the hall.

“Last year was so surreal. I did everything right. My mailbox was full of acceptance letters. My mom finally genuinely smiled at me for the first time in what felt like years. I moved so far away from my parents that I felt like that string that kept me attached to them had broken. I had fun. I went to my first party and got so drunk that when I woke up, I was on the porch of a frat. I made friends who could relate to me more than anyone else. I made acquaintances who could have never gotten into that school without their parents painting the campus with money. Still, I worked my ass off and got kicked out because one of them hid drugs under my seat.”

Miguel’s breath hitched, but Xina continued.

“It was my word against kids whose parents could have the school shut down within minutes. My dad was so angry at me that he pretended like I wasn’t in his home. And my mom just,” her leg started to bounce. “She helped me pack up some things and sent me to go live with my aunt for the summer. It wasn’t until she dropped me off at the airport that whispered to me that she loved me. That she was proud of me. That it was ok to make mistakes.”

“I cried like a baby for half of the flight. And it wasn’t until I got to customs that I realized that I should have called you. You always knew what to tell me no matter what the situation was and I just disappeared. Everything came back tenfold and I missed you so much. So when I saw you again, it was like I fell back into my old habits. I thought ‘I’m finally going to do it!’ but would chicken out and relieve that stress. I was kind of hoping that my tipsy self would have more confidence.”

“Because a drunk tongue speaks a sober mind?” Miguel hummed.

Xina finally laughed, “Are you 40 or something? Yeah. Exactly.”

Miguel blinked and looked up at her, “So tell me what your sober mind wants to say, Xina.”

Xina’s eyes lowered, “That I. I feel like I lose myself when I’m around you. It’s why I acted the way I did. It’s why I overstepped.”

His heart picked up as he registered her words.

“I like you so much, Miguel. More than I can bear. More than I’d like to admit. More than a friend.”

dividers by: @adornedwithlight 🩵

a/n: Please don't be mad at me. 😵‍💫 Also please watch your tone in the comments. 🤠 Be very mindful, very demure.

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[stargazedwinchester]

ִ ࣪𖤐◞ ꙳ ๋࣭ ⭑ `the hearts secret, sam winchester ༘♡

summary: after a long week of extensive research, sam grows more distant by the day. he's hiding something from you, and you need to figure it out. word count: 1,076 pairing: sam winchester x reader

⛧°. ⋆༺☾𖤓༻⋆. °⛧

You’ve been working alongside the Winchesters for a little over a year. You spend quite a lot of your time at the bunker with Sam for work, going over extensive research, including tireless late nights and at least 4 cups of coffee. Each.

At this point, you could say both you and Sam basically co-own the library. You have set up a little workspace for you both, two armchairs next to each other, two small camping tables aligned together and a huge pile of blankets from your own collection.

There’s a massive case you’re currently working on. Dean has been out of town for the past few days, investigating close by and talking to the citizens and family/friends of the victims to gather more intel. It’s not usually this difficult to find material, but when it takes you eight whole days of research — that’s when you know it’s getting bad.

There’s a dangerous creature lurking in the next state over. Nebraska. It’s targeting people’s hearts. Stealing them, you could say. The case itself has been quite an emotional one, multiple losses and traumatising news stories, television interviews and countless phone calls made to the victims’ families. It seems to have taken its toll on Sam, who’s growing quieter by the day.

You put it down to him being run down; the work overloading him and taking a toll mentally. But now, he’s starting to research by himself in his room. Although you enjoyed the time spent with him, it’s completely fine for him to retreat to his room.

Yeah. Completely fine.

Now you’re sitting alone in the library, with no one to banter with. It’s deathly quiet. You take your last sip of your coffee before folding your laptop and heading down to Sam’s room.

You hesitate whilst at his door, unsure whether you should knock or just leave him be. Surely there’s a reason he’s not researching with you right now? He just up and left, giving you a sheepish look before heading to his room. Maybe he’s feeling unwell?

Before you know it, his door opens before you, and his bulky frame stands stiff at the doorway. “Hey,” you greet quietly, looking up at him with concern. He purses his lips. “Hey.”

“Are you okay?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You just left the library without saying anything. That’s not like you.” You struggle to read Sam’s body language. He’s leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed. His face tells you something completely different. There’s something going on. Sam glances toward the floor, avoiding all eye contact.

“Sam, talk to me. Please? I know when something’s bothering you.” The grip on your laptop tightens, feeling the pressure that this is putting on you. His amber eyes meet yours, holding a secret you just know he’s been dying to share. He moves out of the way and into his bedroom, and you follow him, closing the door behind you. You place your laptop on the corner of his dresser, sitting down on his bed. He sits beside you. You place your hands behind you, stretching your torso out. Even before you entered his room, you can feel the atmosphere in here was tense. Sam fiddles with his fingers.

“I, uh,” he chuckles lightly, the corners of his lips quivering. “Going through this research with you, it’s been more than just working on a case. I mean, it’s great, obviously, but... reading about this monster, how it feeds off people’s hearts—on their emotions, their feelings for someone else—it’s made me question things. Made me realize...” He stops for a second, almost as if the words are too heavy to come out.

You glance at him, puzzled. “Realise what?”

Sam takes a breath. He’s picking at the skin on the back of his hands. He exhales through his nose, frustrated at himself. “That I’ve been doing exactly what this thing preys on,” he admits. “Holding it in. Pretending it doesn’t exist.” His gentle gaze finally meets yours, and your brows furrow. He’s searching your face for any sign that he should stop, thinking that it’s a mistake.

Your breath catches, and you reach over for his hand. “Sam—”

“I care about you, Y/N. More than I’d like to admit. I thought that if I just ignored it, it would just go away. Distance myself so it wouldn’t bother me.” He gives a quiet, shaky laugh. “And now, with this thing out there, it just hit me that I might not get another chance to say it.”

Silence hangs between you. Thick and charged.

“If something happens during that hunt,” he continues, his voice softer now, “I need you to know. I need you to know that it’s always been you.”

His eyes meet yours, and your hand still rests atop of his. Your words are stuck in your throat, like sharp daggers that are leaving flesh wounds along your vocal chords. Sam huffs, clearly disheartened by your silence. He runs a hand up and down his face, moving his other hand away from you. “This is stupid,” he admits, standing up and facing away from you, placing his hands on his hips. “I shouldn’t have said that. I’ve tried so hard to push this down, that I shouldn’t— I can’t. I’ve been acting like what I feel for you is something I can just ignore. Like it won’t swallow me whole eventually.”

You look up at him, his shoulders tense and his hands tremble. He finally forces himself to look at you, his gaze raw and honest. You stand up, face to face. The distance between you both is now closing in, your lips now millimetres apart.

“Who says I don’t feel the same, huh?” Your lip grazes his, and he refrains himself from doing something he might regret. “And who says we can’t be careful?” Your smile shows through your sultry tone. Sam moves his face away from you, resisting the urge. He hesitates—but something in his expression changes. The slightest smirk appears from the corner of his mouth. You graze your hand through his hair, softening him up a little. He exhales shakily and pulls you flush against him, finally letting go of all the restraint he’s been clinging to.

He lifts you up, wrapping your legs around his torso, his forearm balancing you against his hips. You run your hands through his hair, your fingertips meeting his jawline, enticing him for more.

[yourlocalsmutwriter]

This year, I want to be a wetter, I mean better person - Mark Webber x reader

cw: age gaps (reader is in her 20s, Mark is in his 40s), perv! Mark, semi-public, squirting, author loves dilfs and hopes that one day dilfs will love her too

Whichever spirit possessed your parents to decide to move to the middle of nowhere, England was a hidden blessing. It may not have seemed that way when you had to endure their company for the 4 hour drive from the airport or when you knew that there was no one fuckable for miles. Not that you could get down and dirty under a family roof, whether it was somebody else's or your own. Nothing more haunting than staring down at the lone poster of Fernando Alonso from his Renaut era on your hideously painted walls while cumming. Or, more accurately faking an orgasm. So you spent a nice, festive Christmas Eve and Christmas in your new family home. Catalogued everything that went wrong in your life to land you in this position from the 26th onwards. Actually explored the town and found that at least 1 bar (as if it would have more than that not on the main street) was open on New Years.

Your parents were not party people. By 8, they had tucked in on the couch and were yawning through a holiday concert of some Dutch guy. You shimmied into the one presentable dress they had seemed to pack from your childhood home. "Conveniently," your cute clothes were in storage, and the owner was somewhere in Dubai at the moment. So you have to make do with this black piece. It's not your first choice. But at least the fact that you had grown some tits since being 18 a few years ago was comforting. You pass your parents by with a promise to not be long now. Being met with a sleepy "Don't worry, sweetheart." you know that they're going to sleep through the fireworks anyway.

To nobody's surprise, the bar isn't crowded. The raging bull is in a pathetic state. Some top 40 hits radio station is playing. The floor is sticky. The bartender looks like he's your parents' age, and it doesn't seem like he knows just what goes into your favorite Long Island iced tea. You sit down and ask him to keep pouring you rum and cokes until either he runs out or your wallet is empty. You sip his very boozy concoction slowly, as you're texting your friends. Complimenting their party fits. Asking details about potential hookups. Looking at pictures of their pets in ugly sweaters. As midnight draws near, someone else actually gets inside the bar. You look up and see a pair of green eyes and holy shit, it's a holiday miracle. It's Mark Webber. 9 time GP winner. Manager of your current favorite driver on the grid. Ultimate celebrity crush, Mark Webber. With the grace of a newborn giraffe, you slide out of your chair. You don't want him to see you, but at the same time, you need it to survive. There goes your cover of not knowing who he is. Now, the bar name makes sense. It all aligns like a jigsaw puzzle. The car themed coasters. The signed cocktail napkin framed on the wall. The only “fancy” drink on the menu being named the Aussie grit.

After you not so subtly go to the bathroom to reapply your lipstick and try to work wonders with a mascara wand, you go back to your place at the bar. Only Mark is next to you, bendy black straw into his namesake cocktail.

"Look, I don't know how much they paid you to tail me here, but I can double it." he says, and you're confused.

"You're some kind of journalist or something.” You shake your head, still too stunned that he's here, talking to you.

“Don't tell me you're just some big city girl whose boyfriend brought her to meet the parents, and now you're single because you found him groping his cousin. Because, believe me, that romcom's more of a staple than you think." He continues.

"Wow, how bad is this town that a young woman in a bar on NYE is news. My parents moved here in April. I'm visiting them for the first time. And so far, I haven't encountered any guys, much less the ones that think the best part of waking up is Folgers in their cup." You explain.

"Are your folks the couple who hate each other but are always bragging about their daughter's graduation in March?" Mark guesses, and you are once again stunned by just much this small town gets to people. Not only does a man that's starred into many of your wet dreams know your parents. No, that's not enough, he also knows they're not the perfect relationship role models. You can't help but wonder if it's hereditary and also the reason you haven't brought home a partner. Pushing that to the side, you reply to him with

"Just the ones.”

"You know your dad thinks we're best friends, and your mom keeps asking if I can hire you at Porsche or McLaren." He says and suddenly all the facetimes with your parents come back to you. The man with a very nice house who they invite over for tea sometimes. The one that's been a little under the weather lately. The one who drives a sports car to the center.

"You're motorsport Mark? Of course you are. Be grateful that you don't have any kids my age because I'd practically be your daughter in law too." You speak before you think, momentarily forgetting about the man's wife and kid. Then you wonder why he's out here with you and not back at home. You're inching to ask, but there is no way to say “are you divorced, and if yes, can I ride you into next year, please?"”. Especially after he hits you with a reminder of why that's a bad idea.

"You should be happy that your parents are proud of you, sweetheart. And that they want you to stick around with them here." He says.

"If I was, wouldn't I be about to watch the fireworks with them?" You ask.

"Still some time until that, isn't it? Wanna make it count?" He replies to your question with a question.

You agree, and there's two more Aussie Grits on the bar. The bar tender also places two laminated sheets of paper and two markers in front of you. The comic sans text on top says "New Years Resolutions" and the neat little lines give you 5 rows to write in.

"Sick of hearing us talk, aren't you?" Mark asks the other man, and the latter just grunts.

"Bet I can write mine before you finish your drink." The former driver says, clearly still a speed fiend. You shake on it, and you start chugging the strong drink. Meanwhile, he's adding chicken scratch sentences to the A4.

He beats you, and to his credit, all his resolutions are thought out and personal. You're happy to see that he's put "do more for Oscar" in there and giggle at the "post more on Instagram?". While you're still reading, he's busy gloating, making fun of you for not learning the most important thing in college - how to hold your liquor.

"What, like you could do any better. Mark, I'm surprised you're standing after the drinks you already had. I bet that I'll have to see you get locked in here till the morning for your own sake." You say, both posing a challenge and remembering the "beauty" of some more traditional British pubs. You hope that the one booth you see is at least comfortable. He doesn't back down, and you're on the clock, writing down what you want to accomplish in 2025. But your brain is buzzing from the drinks, from the way liquid is dripping down Mark's chin and onto his pants, by the fact that you're a horny drunk and the unavailable dilf next to you is too delicious to pass on. You lose, unsurprisingly. Handing over the list, you absent mindedly say

"You know I wouldn't mind your help with the last one, I'm sure you can make it happen, wink wink, nudge nudge.". You're referring to the item "attend my first grand prix," a dream of yours since getting into the sport. But apparently, in the rush, you had added a more nsfw goal under it. Because the item on your list that ended it prematurely was, in fact, "squirt for the first time.".

"You wanna double-check your work before saying things, sweetheart. " he asks, and you're mortified when you do. You start apologizing and gathering your things to leave. Mark places a strong hand on your bare thigh to stop you.

"I never said I wasn't going to do it. I'd be glad to. I'm just making sure that here and now is the place you want to bring this up." He says. Your jaw drops, and you're like a fish out of water.

"Aren't you married?" You ask. It's not the first that you thought would come out of your mouth. Yet, you have to hear him say it.

"Divorced. Technically, in the process of, but no ring. Empty house, and a cold bed. Only my left hand for relief." He says and you're picturing Mark pumping his cock in his fist. You cross your legs and clench your thighs slightly, which doesn't go unnoticed by the older man. He moves his hand and spreads them.

"And you, sweetheart? Do you have some secret boy toy to make your switch into adulthood more fun? Or a nice pretty girl like yourself that you've been shaking up with since your dorm days?" He asks.

"No. Same as you, but I use my right hand. My clit's too sensitive if I switch up my technique." You say, hellbent on making that man go crazy for you.

Mark looks around and tips a crisp 50-pound note from his wallet. You can't help but notice the little blue wrapper peeking out of the Italian leather. He calls over the bartender and asks for "2 coffees when we come back." You think the Aussie's going to take you to his car. Have you ruin his custom leather seats and make you lick up your mess as punishment? You guess he might even take you to his house, not that you have any idea where it is exactly. Ask you to hold on tight as the headboard to his once marital bed slams against the wall. Makes sure your sensitive little clit humps against the pillow as he's fucking you from behind.

But Mark drags you to the men's room instead. Spreads your legs and makes you grab the sink.

"You know I'm a man of few words. And as much as I'd love to start you off with a hands-on approach, I think you haven't earned it yet. So let's show you some videos first, huh?". He pulls out his phone and opens his Google drive. He's got a folder titled xxx and in it is maliciously organized subfolders by years.

"I can click any of them? And I'll see you making a woman squirt?" You say, impressed.

"Never met a girl whose pussy I couldn't make gush. Although I'd stick to the pre-retirement years." He says and you settle on a 2012 video. You know the later ones probably feature his ex. But this one stars a faceless blonde, all curves and moans. You squirm when Mark smacks her ass, watching it jiggle. You keep your eyes on how his tongue slides between her folds. You try to ignore how he's rolled up your dress and is just staring at your underwear. Watching it get wetter and wetter. You're too preoccupied with younger him to ask for his touch now.

The next video is a brunette, with pierced nipples and a possible disdain for Mark. That's gone when he slides into her, fingers pinching her clit. He makes her come too, and the next one and the one after that. You've seen enough. You turn and find him eye level with your cunt, long legs bent into a squat. He may be more than a decade older than in the video, but an old dog doesn't stop learning new tricks.

"Mark, I need you, please." You beg, beyond ready to be treated like one of his "little starlets" from the spank bank. You wonder if he'd film you too. Have your pussy soaking his cock in your juices as a memento of your time together.

"How do you want me, sweetheart?" He asks.

"Need you to fuck me, want to feel your cock inside of me, please." You moan out. And he's a perfect gentleman, because he promises he'll give it to you.

But first he slides his fingers to the front of your underwear and two of them are on your clit, rubbing. Maybe it's because of his height, that the length has spread even to his limbs. Maybe it's the dexterity, the sheer speed of his movements. Usually you'd prefer it starting slow, and building up. But with Mark, it was all climbing, starting at a 100 and moving towards 200 and above. Your hips are bucking against him, searching more. He slows just for a second in order to thrust two fingers inside of you.

"Look at you, already a mess. Did I get you so rilled up, sweetheart. Does this old man do it so much for you?" He asks and smiles as you can only groan and beg for more. He's not someone who draws out things, so he tells you to keep it up for him as he opens the condom package. He watches you whine that your fingers don't feel as good, that they aren't enough.

"Oh sweetheart, just you wait. You're going to be ruined." Mark says as he feeds you just the tip. He makes you take your hands off, replacing them with his. He thrusts up, matching his movements on your clit.

"It's too big, please." You say. Were you asking him for more or to stop? Your body seemed to favour the latter , because you were practically dripping on the bathroom floor. Mark uses his other hand to bring you closer to himself, his shallow thrusts pumping deeper and deeper. He's hitting that spot in your body, the one which you didn't even know existed.

"Be good and cum for me, will you, sweetheart? I don't have all night. So unless you want me to drag you out like this and fuck you on the town square under the fireworks, you better let go." Mark says. He does miss how tight you get around him when he talks like this. He continues, telling you how good you make him feel and how he can't wait to see your pretty orgasm face.That's what tips you over the edge. They're tears coming out of your eyes, you're pretty sure you're drooling and Mark's cock is indeed soaked with your juices. You can hear the obnoxious squelching of his last few thrusts, before he also comes.

He's still inside you when your alarm rings, the sound coming from your purse, long forgotten on the floor. You scramble to turn it off.

"One minute to midnight. Well, it's more like 20 seconds now." You announce. Mark takes your face in his hands (still slick with you) and kisses you gently. He doesn't have the heart to tell you that this is the first kiss he's had all year. You don't have the heart to tell him the same. All you know is that your return flight might be rebooked to a later date. You finally found something interesting to do in your parent's new town.

[mariacallous]

Every morning, a line forms at about six outside the Church of St. Francis of Assisi, on West Thirty-first Street, near Penn Station, as it has done (with a few exceptions) since 1930; on average, there are two hundred and fifty people, mostly men in various states of need. At seven, a bell is rung and meal bags—people can choose from oatmeal, fruit, a sandwich, nuts, juice, and coffee—are distributed by half a dozen volunteers standing at folding tables set up on the sidewalk. The food is provided by a group called Franciscan Bread for the Poor, which is aligned with the church but operates independently and is funded entirely by private donations. It’s the sort of face-to-face “work of mercy” that Pope Francis has advocated throughout his pontificate, inspired by the example of the medieval saint whom he chose as his namesake.

I was there earlier this month, invited by a friend who volunteers one morning a week, between his arrival at Penn Station, on New Jersey Transit, and the beginning of his workday in the Flatiron District. Not long after, he sent me a cellphone video, posted by the Italian daily Corriere della Sera, which showed Francis paying a surprise visit to St. Peter’s Basilica, two and a half weeks after his release from the hospital. The Pope was in a wheelchair, as he generally has been during the past year, but he was wearing black pants and a white shirt rather than his white papal vestments, and he had a striped blanket over his shoulders to ward off the spring chill. “Feels like an end,” my friend commented. Those two scenes—of an ailing Pope, and of the long-standing Catholic commitment to helping the vulnerable—point to the two dominant stories of Catholicism in the United States, which have converged in the weeks leading up to Easter.

The more obvious story is that of the Pope’s health. Francis, who is eighty-eight, was rushed from the Vatican to Gemelli Hospital, on February 14th, with bronchitis in both lungs. Cardinal Timothy Dolan, the Archbishop of New York, said that the Pope was “probably close to death.” But crowds of the devout held nightly recitations of the Rosary in St. Peter’s Square, and he was finally discharged on Sunday, March 23rd, after thirty-eight days. He gave a thumbs-up to a waiting crowd and was taken to the Casa Santa Marta, the guesthouse where he lives. Two weeks later, he appeared unexpectedly in St. Peter’s Square (using a breathing apparatus), and the following Wednesday he received King Charles and Queen Camilla. On Palm Sunday, the Vatican released a video of Francis praying and greeting a few well-wishers at St. Peter’s. He looked better than he had in the video my friend had sent three days earlier. Still, the relief over Francis’s survival hasn’t dispelled questions of whether he is able to lead the Church at a critical moment—or whether he should follow the precedent set by his predecessor, Benedict XVI, and resign the papacy, making way for a healthier man.

The other story is that of the abrupt cessation of the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops’ program for the resettlement of migrants and refugees, announced in a Washington Post opinion piece this past Monday, by Archbishop Timothy Broglio, the current president of the conference. The bishops have run the operation with government funding since 1980, building on more than half a century of similar efforts funded by other means. The closure is a recent development in a conflict involving the Church’s efforts to aid people in need and the funding of those efforts by the federal government, which has played out since Inauguration Day. In an interview on CBS’s “Face the Nation,” on January 26th, Vice-President J. D. Vance, a Catholic convert, accused the bishops of operating their refugee-resettlement programs, supported in part by federal funding, in order to make money. Over the next two weeks, the Trump Administration began gutting U.S.A.I.D., a principal funder of Catholic Relief Services’ efforts to help migrants and refugees, prompting C.R.S.’s president to announce impending layoffs and a reduction in services. Vance, speaking with Sean Hannity on Fox, sought to justify the Administration’s actions in Catholic terms. On February 10th, in a rare public letter to the bishops, which included an implicit rebuke of Vance, Pope Francis urged them to continue their work with refugees. When he took ill, four days later, public attention shifted away, but the conflict remained unresolved. The bishops sued the government, challenging its “suspension of funding for the refugee assistance programs we have run for decades.” A federal judge ruled against them, maintaining that a contractual dispute was beyond his court’s purview, and the bishops have appealed.

The situation suggests the precarity of a Church led by an ailing pontiff and put under pressure to accommodate itself to a government’s way of doing things. In January, Cardinal Dolan gave an opening prayer at President Trump’s Inauguration, as he’d done eight years earlier. On February 19th—the day after the bishops filed their lawsuit—I attended a press event organized to highlight the New York archdiocese’s work with migrants and refugees through its social-services organization, Catholic Charities. I asked Dolan if he had spoken with the President about the matter of migrants and refugees. He said that he had: “I like to reassure him that, if he’s looking for an organization and for a community of people who would want true immigration reform, who would want secure borders, and would want dangerous people in our country not to be here anymore, he’s going to find allies. And I’ve also mentioned that if you want to kind of dramatically and radically alter the magnificent history of the benevolent approach that this great country has had to offering hospitality to the immigrant—that, to us, is not only against our religion, it’s against our patriotism and our sense of what America is all about.”

When I asked Dolan if he had spoken with Trump about the issue lately, he replied, “He’s got my number; I don’t have his,” drawing laughs. But, if given the chance, “I’d say, ‘Thanks for the good work that you’re doing, there’s some things we’re concerned about,’ ” he said. “We do worry about a caricature of all immigrants as ruthless and dangerous and bad for the United States, where the overwhelming majority of immigrants have been a positive boost to this nation. He knows that: our First Lady is an immigrant—our beautiful First Lady was a refugee, from Slovenia.” Melania Trump actually came to the U.S. to pursue her modelling career, but this was vintage Dolan, using jokey self-deprecation to disavow his proximity to state power and to scant the authority vested in him as archbishop. Surely the man who heads the Catholic Church in the largest city in the nation (where nearly forty per cent of the population is foreign-born), and who maintains a cordial relationship with the President, might be expected to press the case harder.

Dolan’s timidity in February presaged the decision of the bishops’ conference to wind down the refugee program in April, apparently without any attempt to sustain it independently. In the Washington Post piece, Archbishop Broglio framed the program’s demise as a fait accompli. “The federal government’s suspension of refugee resettlement programs,” he wrote, “has made it too difficult for the bishops’ conference to continue operating our resettlement agency. In the past, when government funds did not cover the full cost of these and other care programs, they were generously supported by the faithful. However, the work simply cannot be sustained at current levels or in its current form with only the church’s resources.” He did not explain why this meant that the program had to be shut down altogether, but added that he was “praying for the impacted refugees,” and vowed that the Church would “find new means” to help people in need.

Michael Sean Winters, writing in the National Catholic Reporter, posed the questions that the archbishop left unanswered: “Was there no thought given to meeting with Catholic philanthropists to keep at least some of the work going? Was there any discussion about having an emergency second collection as we do when some disaster strikes? Were bishops scheduled for the Sunday talk shows to make the case for maintaining government contracts with religious groups to help these desperate people?” (Asked to address those questions, Chieko Noguchi, the spokesperson for the bishops’ conference, noted that there is “a special collection that aids in the various projects and efforts supported by the USCCB, including our office of Migration & Refugee Services.”) Broglio’s vagueness invited some suspicion that the bishops had acted as they did to avoid conflict with the federal government while they are in litigation with it; to stay in its good graces as the Supreme Court considers a case involving government funding for a Catholic charter school in Oklahoma, which could radically redraw the lines between religion and public education; or just to avoid the vexed work of opposing a vengeful and capricious chief executive. The vagueness was underscored in the Catholic Standard, the newspaper of the Archdiocese of Washington, where the auxiliary bishop Evelio Menjivar, a native of El Salvador, invoking the example of Saint Óscar Romero, urged readers to abandon their “silence . . . or even approval” of the federal government’s policies and instead “demand that the government respect human dignity.”

Under the circumstances, the morning meal service outside St. Francis of Assisi—with its volunteers, private donors, and formal independence—serves as a reminder that there is another way to give aid to people in need. The Breadline, as it’s called, predates F.D.R.’s New Deal, which set the template for many government-administered social services. Dorothy Day, who, with Peter Maurin, founded the Catholic Worker Movement, in Manhattan, in 1933—a movement that eventually consisted of newspapers, soup kitchens, houses of hospitality, and centers of nonviolent resistance—was wary of the New Deal on the ground that it assigned to the government works that ought to be performed as “a personal sacrifice,” and she rejected nonprofit, tax-exempt status for the Catholic Worker, lest it inhibit the movement’s ability to oppose wars and state-sponsored injustice. Certainly, countless people have benefitted from the vast social-service efforts that the Catholic Church has carried out with government funds. But we are now seeing, in the U.S. bishops’ capitulation, the wisdom of Day’s position and the limits of their leadership at a time when the Pope is unable to step in and affirm the Church’s commitments in strong terms—that is, to lead.

That may be the situation of the Church as a whole. The Vatican press office has confirmed that Francis is continuing to work during his recuperation, which is due to last two months. But the question remains: Is Francis healthy enough to lead the Church? The Italian historian Alberto Melloni suggested that the very question of resignation is an impertinence: “Those who say that he will not resign cannot know; those who say that he should resign talk about things that are not within their competence.” A doctor who treated the Pope at Gemelli predicted that he would recover “if not to 100%” then to “90% of where he was before.” Most close observers of the Church whom I’ve spoken with say that Francis shouldn’t resign the papacy as long as he is of sound mind. Their reasons vary. “He still has work to do.” “He will know when the time is right.” “The right wing wants him dead”—and a resignation would invite the Catholic right to seize the authoritarian moment and press for the election of a neo-traditionalist Pope who could join Viktor Orbán, Giorgia Meloni, and Donald Trump in championing an emergent Christian nationalism in the West.

That all may be true, but it’s also possible to foresee a scenario in which Francis, reaching a limit in his recuperation, initiates a tactful and elegant transition. At this point, he has appointed nearly four-fifths of the cardinals who will elect his successor, and, in the past two Octobers, the Synod on Synodality has enabled many of them to get to know one another better prior to an eventual conclave. This fall will also be the sixtieth anniversary of the conclusion of the Second Vatican Council, which shaped the Church as it exists today. In this scenario, Francis would serve through the summer and resign on October 4th, the day of the feast of St. Francis of Assisi. The cardinals would then come to Rome for a series of meetings, then enter the conclave to elect a successor to Francis—probably within a few days, if recent conclaves are any indication. The next Pope would be installed in time for the new liturgical year, which will begin with Advent, on Sunday, November 30th, and carry the Jubilee celebrations through to next January. Francis, for his part, would look on from the Casa Santa Marta, having shown confidence in the Church as a whole through his willingness to cede power to a colleague more fully able to exercise it.

[bluemoonpunch]

🌟The Elemental Alignment of Park Jimin (Part 2) - Tarot & Oracle Reading

[Performed: May 22, 2025 / Posted: June 1, 2025]

NOTES

“Beautiful, so beautiful.”

As we can now expect, Jimin’s core energy, or the view of his inner world was a bit blocked off as he, along with the others, is experiencing a level of disconnect while the energy of the Soul Body starts to build up, but I was able to get some really interesting projections for him regarding his current state and his energy moving forward. One of the first things I saw for Jimin was the 10 of Pentacles. I kept seeing flashes of different versions of the 10 of Pentacles, and even some that were completely new to me, but all of them highlighted outer stability and the cultivation of a dream life or something that Jimin really wants to make a reality going forward. With these images, I kept hearing this little whisper, someone saying, “beautiful, so beautiful,” over and over again. It almost seemed like someone was praying or making a wish.

There was something very physical about all of this, as I was really feeling the softness of fabrics, the smoothness of surfaces, a cool breeze, the warm sun, and the scent of flowers and fresh-cut grass — it just went on and on. There’s a feeling of truly grounding oneself in a physical experience, appreciating everything around, while intentionally curating, highlighting, or moving toward the best of the best — the highest quality of every detail that could surround a person on a daily basis. With this, I heard, “step up and step out,” which felt like something physical, like literally stepping out into the world, out into nature, out into the home, and amplifying it or bringing more to it on some level. In another way, I was feeling this as a more personal affirmation, to be bolder, stronger, and move through the world like the 10 of Pentacles is secured, like no one can touch him or bring him down, because he has and will continue to have the best of the best, because he GIVES the best of the best. There’s a sense of really owning his own energy going forward and owning the life that he lives to the fullest.

It seems with this that there is a lot of rearrangements happening in the physical which, again, could be connected to the matter of curation, perhaps buying a new home or just loading the one he has with new furniture, maybe some renovations. I kept seeing someone packing up clothes in their closet, but it wasn’t clear if they were packing to move or if they were simply rearranging things in the home, as they seemed to be packing them in large plastic storage containers rather than suitcases or boxes.

NOTES ON SOUL BODY POSITION

When it comes to the Soul Body, what I see for Jimin is really exciting. First, I kept seeing the number 7 switch to the number 3, which made me think of Jimin’s original role as the Heart, as the center of the body holding everyone together, being switched to one that mirrors the Throat Chakra. As we saw in Hoseok’s Elemental Alignment Reading, he and Jimin appear to be switching roles of function while still maintaining their original signatures, with Jimin being the Heart and Hoseok being the Throat. Jimin’s new role in the Soul Body’s function is an open conduit, the doorway between the Soul Body and everything else outside of it. However, compared to Hoseok’s original position or way of managing, Jimin’s is much higher up, much more filtered, and much stricter about what can come in and go out. In general, there is a lot more care being applied inside and outside of the Soul Body, I assume to avoid another issue like the Soul Body manipulation that was occurring in 2018. A lot of protection and precautions are being applied overall.

Jimin feels to be standing as a figure similar to The High Priestess, a soul acting as the go-between of what is “in here” and what is “out there,” but again, there is a strictness to it, a very no-nonsense, no bullshit, no nothing sort of attitude to this new system.

I’m sure this will ruffle some feathers, but I’m kind of seeing this as a thing where one of the major indicators of whether or not you even have access to the soul group within ARMY is based on how you view and treat Jimin. He’s the marker, the judge, the meter, the high end security around both the Soul Body and the soul group — any detection of negativity, toxicity, or ill-will isn’t even going to be acknowledged, it will just be pushed out and blocked off, added to a list of permanent banishment. This may connect to the applied systems of the exodus period discussed in the ARMY Outlook Reading. There really is quite a feirceness to it that makes me think Jimin’s soul itself is quite over all the cruelty his conscious counterpart is at the receiving end of, and he’s spreading that out to everyone like,”yeah, NONE of us are dealing with this shit anymore. We’re not even going to see it, but by all means, feel free to drown yourself in your own sludge.”

I really can’t get over how strict the blueprints for filtration actually are. Compared to the original Soul Body, which was alarmingly open, there is a more screened window effect to it. I keep seeing a window with like ten screens over it, Jimin sitting on the other side of it, barely visible but so focused on whoever or whatever passes by or stops to ask for access or a handout. I keep seeing Jimin’s energy, or I suppose the outline of his future blueprints that will be initiated in the body, switching back and forth between The High Priestess, Justice, and Judgement:

The High Priestess is Jimin when he’s just at the window, or perhaps you can look at it as the new default system, where he's the portal or the filtered conduit that you would move through to access either the Soul Body or the soul group. In comparison, back in the day, although I don’t know for sure if this is exactly how it was supposed to be, Hoseok’s standing felt more like a wide open doorway that was able to be accessed, that allowed massive waves of energy to leave and come in directly to the Soul Body. It was like a doorway left open, one he wasn’t able to, or was eventually pushed away from being able to monitor. With The High Priestess, Jimin doesn’t take his eyes off that window, doesn’t let any of those ten screens fall or get rusty. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that the soul that was literally the HEART of the body, the soul that wants nothing more than to protect and sustain the whole body and all the souls in it, would take this job very seriously.

With Justice, this feels to be the mode he enters when someone approaches the window, again either for the Soul Body itself or the soul group, when he’s very clinically assessing what is about to come in or what is about to go out. Justice here almost feels like an office worker reading over submitted applications, reviewing proposals, and laying them down alongside a list of rules, set qualifications, and seeing how things line up. If they don’t match up to the standards, they are marked unacceptable or put on a temporary hold. Again, this is going both ways in terms of what can come in and what can go out. I can see this trickling down into the ARMY soul group, possibly starting with Jimin’s individual soul group specifically, as a wave of mindfulness put toward the kind of attitude, energy, and general social setting you create within the community as well as a stronger sense of filtration when it comes to blocking and not engaging with negativity within the community. Between the “beautiful, so beautiful” thing, and Jimin’s soul readying to run a tight ship, there is a big theme here of curating and protecting his peace and the peace of everyone around him, on all levels. Again, this will certainly trickle down into ARMY in some way.

I’m also seeing Justice, in relation to what comes out of the Soul Body, as Jimin, even on a conscious level, having more say or more influence in what the group puts out or how they go about delivering it. Again, this looks so clinical to me, like meetings about marketing and being quite influential when it comes to how things are expressed, how the group interacts with fans, what kind of connection they have with the world overall. I keep getting flashes going back and forth, suggesting his conscious level influence in marketing as well as a lot more influence, or a more prominent influence in writing for the group. This is where we’re getting more of that Throat Chakra energy from him in this new system. Again, he’s still registering as the Heart, that’s still his soul signature, but his base of operation is more connected to the Throat. It’s very interesting.

Now, with Judgement, this is where the hammer comes down. What Jimin says is final, and that seems to be hitting on multiple levels. He’s certainly no tyrant, there’s no major force here, but it is a very clean-cut kind of decision-making that gets locked in stone, no room for arguments. If his soul decides that something is not good for the Soul Body or the soul group, it is permanently banished, filed under “DO NOT INTERACT,” and essentially ceases to exist from the perspective of everyone on the inside. There is no second chance, no guidance on how to “do better” or “be better” the next time around, it is just cut off immediately.

Just the same, anything going out is subject to a pretty strict filter, applied to the energy, tone, and display of what comes out of the Soul Body or the group, on both conscious and physical levels. Again, I really think Jimin’s personal soul group within the ARMY soul group is going to be in positions of filtration for the whole fandom and will be some of the first to really ride that wave of filtering and aiming to curate overall better communities for everyone, especially online. I think that’s why there’s such an emphasis being put on the idea that how you treat Jimin will be an indicator of how you are viewed from inside the soul group, or whether or not you are part of the soul group. Something in that feels a bit karmic as well.

I was also brought to focus on the numbers on these cards, not in their inherent meanings, but in the visual of the Roman numerals. The High Priestess is number 2, represented as II, which resembles an open window, or a filtered window. Then Justice is number 11, shown as XI, which was like the half-opened, half-closed window, the time in which your “application has been accepted,” you’re still standing on the outside. And then, Judgment is number 20, XX, fully closed. Judgment only activates when something is being closed off, rejected, or pushed out. The hammer only comes down on things that are proven to be harmful to the inner systems of the Soul Body and the soul group, and by way of BTS and ARMY on a conscious and physical level. When things are accepted, the pathway inward and outward, through the filtered window of Justice, is allowed open and fiercely monitored by Jimin as The High Priestess.

NOTES ON JIMIN’S NEW BLUEPRINTS

In comparison to Yoongi and Hoseok, Jimin doesn’t seem to necessarily be receiving brand new codes or updates within his soul’s functioning, but instead it seems like he’s being primed to allow elements of his blueprints that already exist to start activating and working on higher levels. This connects back to his Life Path 11, which I’ve talked about a couple of times, maybe in readings or maybe just on Tumblr, I’m not sure. One of the biggest things that I’ve seen for Jimin with this is his effect on social culture, expression, and the validity of personal identity. It’s been a thing for years this “coming wave,” like a literal tsunami of energy stemming from Jimin that would “level the social and media space” and “spring new life.” As in, he’s going to do SOMETHING at SOME POINT that completely rewrites the framework of how people show up in their work, how people view others in these higher positions, how people view artists and celebrities. He’s set up to be quite a significant person, someone people look back on and point to as being the source of some kind of social evolution that took hold and never let go.

One of the things that I get for Jimin quite often is this idea that he is only “half way there,” or “half lit up.” Like, what we’ve seen of him so far is just barely 50% of all that he can be. I’ve seen this come through numerous times as the moon only being halfway through its phases, making the Full Moon Jimin’s peak state. What’s funny though is that, in this reading, I kept hearing “the Sun is just beginning to rise.” This brought to mind that cool little thing that used to come up for Jimin a lot back in the day, his “Light Sun/Dark Sun” modalities, which I talked about in his first Elemental Alignment in 2018 and expanded on in regard to an eclipse I was seeing in his inner world in his Core Energy Reading in 2022.

It actually kind of freaks me out how this always comes up like the Universe, his Guides, and Jimin’s soul just kind of side-eyes the situation like, “...it’s coming… we’re not gonna tell you what it is… but it’s coming… and the world will never be the same…” Like, OKAY?? But for sure, there is that same feeling as with the other guys so far of something building up, pressure building up in the energy centers, something big coming that will kind of pop the bubble, shed the skin, and birth a new form, something that for Jimin will be quite prominent on a soul level and on a conscious and physical level.

In regard to what I see for Jimin going forward in the public on a conscious and physical level, there is a new “coating” to him, like a new outline that he’ll have on, which could suggest an extra layer of protection, but it’s one that comes from within himself, suggesting a new level of confidence that is very difficult to break through or break down. I’m seeing him standing like royalty, perhaps going back to that 10 of Pentacles thing, really owning his status and holding himself as the best of the best, really moving well with his head high. There’s something about this that is “being displayed for the first time,” as I keep hearing it. It’s a level of confidence and self-display that hasn’t been seen from Jimin before. Again, there’s a whole other HALF of him that we haven’t really seen yet, and this seems to be suggesting that when that other half is displayed, it will have him standing like royalty.

GUIDELINE

There is a fascinating lineup here for his guideline, that seems to mostly be centering around his current projections, although most of these feel to be connected to higher levels of his awareness, such as the higher unconscious and the higher and lower subconscious mind. The only elements that seem to sit fully in the conscious mind are the 4 of Swords and the 9 of Swords at the very end, stemming off of Sleepy Eyes in reverse. What’s interesting about that is the 4 of Swords and the 9 of Swords seem to be a conscious level mirror to the higher unconscious state shown with The Siren and The Underworld.

This is somewhat complicated, the way I see it, but it’s also a simple thing that’s being displayed at the same time. A deliberate exploration and assessment of lower levels of the subconscious mind, encompassing spaces of fear, insecurity, self-hatred, and trauma, is being conducted by a higher aspect, perhaps the soul itself. Just the same, the 4 of Swords is showing a deliberate conscious level assessment, a slightly detached one for the sake of objectivity and clarity, of the 9 of Swords, a space of personal trauma, nightmares, hidden fears, and things that, in general, plague the mind in a negative way.

Where I see the most complexity is within The Siren, which represents Jimin’s higher unconscious, which technically would be the space right below his actual soul, where his soul plugs into the layers of consciousness. I’m seeing Jimin’s soul actually being “from” the red jewel at the top of the image, while Jimin’s soul, represented by the Siren, hopping downward, literally diving into The Underworld, the lower subconscious, the space of the 8th House or the personal underbelly.

This is quite a wild thing to see when we think back to earlier states for Jimin, where his higher unconscious, and even his soul, were quite… scared?? Scared of even acknowledging certain heavier aspects of the self, almost living in a state of denial all the way into the soul. There’s such a great sense of clarity and awareness here, like his soul knows what’s up, knows what’s on the line, and is really taking this quite seriously, this effort to clear things out. It’s reminding me a bit of Hoseok’s situation, where he is being prompted to clear things out within his connections and environments to ensure his soul function going forward post-reunion, but here for Jimin, it’s mostly about clearing out his connections and environments within himself.

It’s so hard to explain it, but it does feel like his own soul, and perhaps this is why it feels “detached” but not “sleeping” like the others, is on a deep-sea diving mission, suited up and moving through the depths of Jimin’s own subconscious. There’s a tandem system going on here with his soul processing deeper subconscious elements and his conscious mind assessing and perhaps dissecting heavier elements of the subconscious that have risen into the conscious mind, or that are coming in from the outside. The only difference between the two is that The Siren is literally diving into that underbelly where as the 4 of Swords, as we can see the silhouette of the person in meditation mirroring the person sitting up in bed in the 9 of Swords, is pulling back and observing the emotion, the thought, the memory, the trigger.

Even the way the images of the Swords seem to mirror each other, with a lesser number and even a lesser physical, more etheric-looking swords in the 4 of Swords compared to the harsh, heavy, sharp physical swords in the 9 of Swords, shows a level of detachment within this observation. This goes back to that element of him learning to really protect his peace without the need for isolation or “hiding himself.” He’s looking at himself, maybe looking back at himself in past states, and being like “mm, yeah, I don’t like that. I didn’t like that then, and I don’t like it now, let’s rip these things out of here and lighten this load.”

Even more interesting, looking at these cards laid out as I have them here in the image above, there seems to be a loop happening. We can see The Siren dive downward from the higher unconscious into the lower subconscious of The Underworld. Things are untangled and sorted through, causing them to loosen up and float to the surface, where they make themselves known in the conscious mind through the 9 of Swords. The 4 of Swords is Jimin, with intention and awareness, pulling back and reassessing things, filtering out his own inner waters, his mind, and perhaps doing the same on some level in his physical life, his home. This creates the lightness, a vibrancy, and a higher frequency where the mind and body feel lighter.

With the upward-facing triangle in the image of the 4 of Swords, it feels like the lightness causes him to float upward, reaching, on a conscious level, a higher state of mind which mirrors The Siren rising back to the surface and returning to the soul state of the red jewel. There’s a whole a process on display here, and the fact that these sets of cards sit at the beginning and end of the overall lay out could imply that the other cards hold elements of the process or perhaps pillars and foundations of the current process that Jimin is going through within this “incubation period” that the guys are in on a soul level.

Another big theme here that’s running through the whole guideline is the number 4. The Heart Chakra card (4), Soul Time (40 - 4), Blessed (22 - 4), Peace (31 - 4), Sleepy Eyes (4), and the 4 of Swords are all carrying this projected frequency.

Starting with the combination of Soul Time and the Heart Chakra cards following The Siren and The Underworld, there is a focus on the state of the soul within the Soul Body, ringing back to Jimin’s soul signature as the Heart Chakra. It’s hard to describe it, but I’m feeling Soul Time as a pot of thick stew being stirred up, something being mixed in or cooked up, but it’s unclear to me what it is or how it’s playing into everything else.

In general, the number 4 suggests foundations and structures, frameworks that offer stability and can often be looked at as seeds or the root systems of things to come. When I really focus on it, what I see being “cooked up” is something connected to the field of protection that will go around the Soul Body, something I’m sure Jimin is heavily involved in. I first saw that field in the ARMY Outlook Reading regarding The Star card and their Guides pointing out the potential for necessary protection and protection in general going forward on both a physical and soul level.

There’s something quite secretive about it, whatever is brewing in the pot, and when I look at it from a few different angles, it hits the spaces of the Soul Body on a collective level, that outer protection, and it hits in on a conscious level, something pertaining to Jimin himself. It may have something to do with that Full Moon/Rising Sun situation, but again, it’s unclear right now.

Following that, he has Unfinished Symphony, Imagine, and Blessed, and immediately I’m seeing the Unfinished Symphony stemming off of the pot of stew, something being cooked up, something in the making. It does make me think of new music and new projects in general, but it feels so much bigger than that, something that is full-bodied and, again, could connect to something that influences social culture or expression for a lot of people. Especially with Blessed being 22, that sense of reflection, there seems to be something that I can only describe as a cleansing of the lens through which you see yourself, or a cleansing of the mirror where you see yourself the most. Something that Jimin does to express himself or affirm himself within his work or just in life in general is going to inspire people, or help heal other people in terms of how they see themselves, how they express themselves, and how they show up in the world. I’m seeing Blessed as a shift in mindset where certain things that were once seen as curses, flaws, downsides in your appearance, personality, or way of being are suddenly able to be viewed as blessings, unique qualities that help you stand out, things that help you be identified as an individual.

Similar to what I’ve been seeing for the others, there’s a progression here where Jimin, in the Unfinished Symphony, is inside that egg cooking something up that’s about to hit big on a soul and conscious level for everyone involved. When that egg cracks, Imagine is what explodes out. It’s a flood, a tsunami of energy that feels like cool water running over inflamed or wounded egos, healing and guiding people toward a new sense of self. He’s leading by example with this in some way, so this may be quite a hill to climb for him on a conscious level, which may be why he’s already being prompted to do that personal clearing through the 4 and 9 of Swords.

What is left behind in the end is the figure in Blessed, which, if you squint, kind of looks like it could be a fairy mermaid type creature, which brings me back to The Siren. It’s his soul on display, in a new form, fully integrated. Major levels of soul integration have been on the agenda for all the guys so far as well. Blessed, again, puts him on display, fully, perhaps to a point in which we’ll be able to say that the Moon is full or that the Sun has risen to high noon, and this creates a mirror (very Libra) for others to see themselves in a new way. It goes beyond simple affirmations or encouragement. It’s something to follow, something that will lend to a permanent social change. It’s very interesting but still so unbelievably veiled, like I WANT TO KNOW WHAT IT IS, but Jimin’s tucked away in a little kitchen hiding his stew so we can all be surprised.

Following that, there is Peace, which feels again like a layered projection where it’s going to be something that is generated within himself, within the Soul Body, and the other guys, the soul group, and the general public. It’s so dramatic and cinematic the way I’m seeing it, where there’s that big bursting tsunami in Imagine, something loud and very hard to miss, followed by this angelic ascension of what comes out of the egg into the position of the creature in Blessed, and then, a silence follows. There’s a slightly creepy, but mostly heavenly, stillness that comes over everything as the clouds clear and the water recedes, leaving behind these flowers in everyone’s hearts and brains. This still silence continues as these flowers start to open up, like the image in Peace, and these particles of personal essence start to rain upward, illuminating everyone in their own light, everyone seeing everyone as they truly are without shame or an urge to hide or dim that light.

Something about it is kind of funny where we can see a little line of water spilling out from the figure’s hand in Blessed, but that little stream of water is what is now fueling this massive web, massive oceans’ worth of purified and amplified personal expression and self-realization. It’s like a major switch is flipped for millions of people as a result of whatever the heck Jimin is about to do.

The rushing water and bright lights all seem to flood over into the Egotism card, which is where I’m really catching that inflamed and wounded ego feeling, a space of odd self-perception brought on through that Mars in Leo energy, a flame brought into the space of performance, masking, and a warped identity. The number 5, correlating with the Leo 5th House, feels to be carrying the stuck energy of number 5, a space of stagnancy or what can feel like entrapment within an identity that is not your own.

This flowing into Gemini — I Think and Neptune — Sacrifice, which sit directly underneath The Underworld in the layout, feels very straightforward with the idea of someone having sacrificed their mind, their face-to-face communication, expression, or some level of awareness in order to accommodate or simply deal with outside criticism, mockery, harassment, or some other level of shaming that would lead to a person feeling very negatively about themselves both physically and in terms of their personality or way of thinking. Connecting back to the Air energy in the 4 and 9 of Swords, this may be reflecting a more detailed version of what was suggested in the 9 of Swords specifically, as well as details of what is in The Underworld, or what still lingers for Jimin as heavy insecurities, trauma, or fear connected to other people/fans/the public.

In a progression, it looks like The Siren and The Underworld are laid out as “this is what we’re doing right now,” followed by The Unfinsihed Symphony, Imagine, Blessed, and Peace as “this is what we’re preparing to do,” and then Egotism, Gemini, and Neptune being “this is WHY we’re doing it.” There is a generalization to this set as well where, yes, this pertains to Jimin on a personal, individual level, but it’s also laying out something for the collective as well, hitting hard with his personal soul group, then the overall soul group in ARMY, and then rippling out into the mass collective. There’s a big effort here to heal wounds of self-sacrifice.

Next, there is a muddled kind of energy around these cards as they feel to be kind of sunken in on themselves. Specifically, the energies of Falling, Inspiration, and Nutrients all seem to be hidden or tangled up in Screaming, Fear, and Politics.

Falling in particular feels to be distorted here where, alongside Inspiration, it is meant to or is wanting to express the idea of Inspiration falling down from the sky. Similar to what we see with Imagine or the stream of water pouring down in Blessed, but what I’m feeling here is something more like Inspiration being an opening in the ground, perhaps connecting to The Underworld, where water is attempting to bubble up, but before it can, or before it has a chance to be noticed, leaves fall over it and clog it up. This is lingering over into Nutrients where it feels like this water is not able to soak into the soil around the hole and is, or was, causing the soil to dry out, losing its nutrientes and fertile nature.

It’s an odd thing, but it has that same kind of “muddied distortion” as the Egotism card. I don’t think they’re necessarily directly connected in terms of this reflecting elements of identity, but I do think they’re connecting in a way where when your identity is limited or hindered, your ability to operate as you are meant to, you ability to serve your purpose or execute your calling is also limited or hindered.

Screaming, Fear, and Politics are very interesting here, especially Politics as the first thing that came to mind with this was something I’ve gotten for Jimin a few times before where he is quite mindful, perhaps overly mindful, and certainly more mindful than a lot of people realize, of what people say about him and how they are towards him. I’m thinking specifically of things that have come through for him and Jungkook where he would deliberately put up walls within himself, maybe on an emotional or mental level, limit certain things in order to protect Jungkook from potentially receiving the same kind of treatment he gets by association.

It’s very calculated as well. The walls aren’t there when there is no one watching, but there is a deeper subconscious wall that comes up when people are watching. It’s deeply internalized. It’s not something that can easily be seen on the surface, but the back-and-forth tugging of this inner system seems to be something that is mostly in the deeper subconscious, connecting to the fear and inner insecurities. It’s reminding me now of what I saw with Jimin’s first Elemental Alignment where, in his inner world, he didn’t even notice I had entered the space because he was so preoccupied with jumping around in order to hide different “videos” and “pictures” that were flashing all over this massive screen. He wasn’t just hiding them from other people, he was trying to hide them from himself as well. This seems to be one of the major sources of inner conflict — his effort to hide or deny things from himself so that they don’t show up at all to anyone else.

Politics is representing his awareness of the public, the words and actions of the people watching, and his strategies to limit or filter certain levels of expression or his own identity in order to perform a botched version of “protecting his peace,” which actually used to play out as him just deforming his own identity and playing a role, which then turned into him being more himself but as quietly as possible, as away from the public eye as possible. Now, there’s more awareness of this, and on multiple levels, there is now effort to clear these fears and assess these triggers, again going back to The Siren/The Underworld and the 4 of Swords/9 of Swords.

Lastly, Sleepy Eyes in reverse pulls us out of the previous set and throws us into the 4 of Swords and the 9 of Swords. In a way where Falling, Inspiration, and Nutrients are covered up or blurred, you can think of a person walking around after being woken up suddenly, sleepy eyes all blurry and unable to focus. With Sleepy Eyes in reverse, there’s a feeling of waking up, becoming more aware of this, refusing to mindlessly walk through life — “mindlessly” going back to Gemini and the sacrifice of the self. Eyes are open, the mind is clear, and through the 4 of Swords, there is an attempt to assess the triggers and heavy thoughts that exist within the 9 of Swords. Jimin is doing a lot of work on himself and is preparing to live more openly, more as himself, to shed any and all distortion that he has acquired from other people or that he himself has been putting out by either acting in a way that is not true to him or hiding himself in general.

At the very end, his keywords are Pisces, Evolve, Farmer, and Guide. Pisces connects back to The Siren, referring to a deeper aspect of healing and processing that occurs within the soul. There’s a really great callback as well to The High Priestess and the Imagine/Blessed/Peace energies. There’s a potency of Water energy, very bright, vibrant, clear Water that is aiming toward cleansing and healing. This blends into Evolve as this is initiating a new phase of development for Jimin, and a very high level of soul integration that may generate a sense of rebirth or reformation to his overall being. It’s good to note that Pisces rules Evolution as well, which gives me a great feeling about Jimin’s “new design” on both a soul level and a conscious/physical level being entirely of his own making.

Farmer and Guide are linked together in a very interesting way, which seems to connect to his soul group as well as the overall soul group of ARMY. As I’m seeing it, this is demonstrating the “lead by example” thing he’s got going on, where as he heals and displays himself, others will do the same. The seeds he plants as the farmer, what he grows, will inherently guide others, and others will follow. It’s lining up with that image of Jimin, as Blessed, fueling the water that blooms the flowers in Peace. He planted those seeds in himself and in the world as the farmer, but through his guidance, through his demonstration, everyone will bloom their flower on their own.

GUIDELINE WITH SPRINKLES!

As you may notice, all the Sprinkles here are black… why? Becasue my dumb ass didn’t save the origial file before I merged it with all the others and moved on with the other images for the reading. I was able to see SOME of the Sprinkles in the merged image, and some of them I was able to remember because I wrote notes on them, but there could possibly be one or two missing. So, we can’t follow the colors for this one, but everything still connects over pretty well.

First, there is “sickness” over The Underworld which connects downward toward Neptune and Gemini through “sadness so deep.” This seems to be referring to a sickness of the mind, or a pollution of the mind, identity, and expression that stems from a deeper sadness, grief, or pain that comes in from the outside. This furthers the idea of the soul diving quite deeply into the lower subconscious in order to start bringing things to the surface that Jimin is assessing or revisiting on a conscious level. This could be coming through for him consciously as direct triggers, literally reexperiencing things, literally being triggered, or these are things that are just coming up as he is planning to do bigger and better things, planning to show himself more, and because of that, part of his mind keeps popping in trying to remind him of why he filters and hides things. It’s reflecting off of Egotism a bit, the idea that the wounded ego, which resides in the subconscious space, is trying to protect him from that pain by reminding him of the worst case scenario.

Then, over the Heart Chakra and Soul Time he has “there is another…” and “moon,” which come together to simply say, “there is another moon.” This is so annoying, because do you see again how it seems like his Guides and his soul are side-eyeing the situation and being like “there’s more coming… there’s another moon… we’re not gonna tell you what that means… but we’re letting you know… there’s more there.” What am I supposed to do with that? There’s literally nothing else coming through for it, so I’m taking it very literally in terms of there’s literally a whole other moon. We have the half-moon now which is Jimin’s 50% max status, which will be Full when we get into Blessed, but then there’s A WHOLE OTHER MOON TO LOOK FOR?? What could that even begin to mean?? Not to mention, what about the Sun? I heard “the sun is just beginning to rise,” earlier, so is there going to be two Moons, two Suns, a Sun and a Moon, an eclipse?? What are we doing? What’s going on? I suppose we’ll have to wait and see…

Over Egotism there is “objects that can’t be named,” which carried quite a heavy feeling to it with the idea of a person so disconnected from their own identity that they think of themself as an object with no name, no title, barely an existence at all. There’s quite a sad feeling, again connected back to “sickness,” and “sadness so deep,” where it almost feels dehumanizing. There’s a kind of hidden awareness of other people having mutilated your sense of self through your willingness to allow their thoughts and feelings to have a place or say over who and what you are. In the image of Egotism, we see a chicken with the head of a man — this is giving me quite an uneasy feeling with the idea of a person being degraded into the position of an animal who then loses sight of their personhood so deeply that they don’t even think they’re alive, they don’t think they really exist. It’s giving major existential crisis vibes, something that could have taken the wounded ego into the state of an inflamed ego very quickly.

Luckily, rolling back over to Blessed, Imagine, and Unfinished Symphony, there is “ice cold water” that lies over the set, highlighting Blessed specifically. This was nice to see because it seemed to affirm what I was seeing and feeling with the idea of that tsunami hitting and cooling down and healing inflamed and wounded egos. As this energy is already inside Jimin, as in it is inside with him in that blue egg in Unfinished Symphony, it’s in that pot of stew he’s cooking up, it shows that while this major damage to the sense of identity could have happened, it was halted before it could go any further. Jimin does have a wounded ego as a result of “screaming politics” from the outside world, but it has not progressed to a point of being inflamed, burned, or permanently damaged. He has an inner resilience stemming from his soul where he pushes past those insecurities, self-doubts, and, seemingly purely out of spite, pushes his personhood, his humanity, his real self out into the world as often as he can.

Over Falling and Inspiration, connecting over to Nutrients, there is “got my hand…” “now you see me…” “focusing on that,” and “rain storm.” I was seeing this come together as “you got a hold of my hand, and now you see me focusing on that rain storm.” The reference to the rainstorm hit two different things — one was the Screaming card, suggesting a storm of people, a storm of judgment and hatred, and the other was the tsunami in Imagine, the one that floods out and brings him to Blessed and others to Peace.

I don’t know if this makes any sense, but this literally feels like Jimin’s soul, the part that’s tucked away in the kitchen stirring up that stew, hiding the contents of the pot, but letting someone hold onto his hand so that they can feel what’s in the pot, feel the weight of what is being stirred around. I was going to mention it earlier, but it just didn’t seem relevant, but I kept thinking the stew could double as a potion, like Jimin’s tucked away in a little witchy lair, conjuring something in a big cauldron. This lines up with that more, literally stirring up a storm, a whole hurricane that crashes down and destroys structures of the Screaming, Politics, and Fear, but also brings new life, cooling waters, Inspiration, and Nutrients to everything else. It’s very interesting.

Lastly, the craziest shit, is the set of Sprinkles that came out for the reversed Sleepy Eyes card. This actually blew my mind when I tossed the Sprinkles down because right away I noticed that the way those bottom three Sprinkles lay together mirrored the Algiz rune, the Sprinkle that was lying over the center of the card. For reference, this is the Algiz rune:

As mentioned before, the Sleep Eyes card being in reverse set up this more awake and clear state for Jimin to access that 4 of Swords state of personal analysis and assessment of the 9 of Swords. He’s clearing a path for himself to walk openly and freely in the world in a way that he hasn’t before.

The Algiz rune is associated with protection, guardianship, awakening, courage, defense, and primal instincts. It’s so hard to think of how to describe the way I’m seeing this, but it’s like a switch was literally flipped with Sleepy Eyes being in reverse, something in him just flipped one day and while that Gemini/Neptune mindset was still in him, he was suddenly more detached from it, more aware of it from an “outside” point of view, again giving way to the 4 of Swords and the 9 of Swords. There’s something here about “modeling” and I don’t know if I can explain it exactly, but I’m seeing layers of copying and pasting, the same way we have the Algiz rune displayed over the center of the Sleepy Eyes card, and then the Algiz rune formed by the three Sprinkles underneath.

It’s the same kind of “modeling” or “copying” that I see with The Siren/The Underworld and the 4 of Swords/9 of Swords. Within himself, he’s copying the process of his soul, but with the Algiz rune here, I’m seeing him copying something outside of himself. Someone or something outside of him flipped the conscious level switch, or affirmed it enough that he just said fuck it and started doing all this inner work to clear things out. Considering all these associations to guardianship, courage, defense, and instincts, I would say it’s possible that someone in the military or just being in the military in general led to this. It’s possible as well that, being there, the environment and the need to severely restrict himself, his identity, and his expression, also could have led to those triggers which were then open to being assessed again. It’s possible as well that Jungkook could be the one he is “copying” or modeling after here as it has been shown over and over again that they both have an incredibly strong influence on each other when it comes to their personal progressions, soul development, and the structures of their inner worlds, and since they’ve been together all this time, I don’t think it’s too far fetched.

What brought to mind this idea of modeling after something was the fact that while the Algiz rune formation under Sleepy Eyes does LOOK like the rune, the Sprinkles that make it up ever so slightly oppose the energy. Algiz is a more masculine energy, again connecting to primal instincts over intuition, protection and defense rather than nurturing and receptivity. The sprinkle in the center is “Grief + Motherhood” with “purity” splitting up toward the left, touching Politics, and “let’s cleanse that,” splitting upward toward the right, touching the 9 of Swords.

Now, I’m unfortunately very aware that there are still people in this world who have an issue with the fact that Jimin is a bit more in his feminine flow, embraces femininity, and quite enjoys sharing his softer side with the world. I am also unfortunately aware that there are people who take great offense to anyone acknowledging Jimin’s femininity, lashing out to “defend” Jimin where Jimin himself finds no offense, and thus they, in the name of “supporting Jimin” end up just projecting a huge amount of homophobia and misogyny all over the man’s image… but anyway…

“Grief + Motherhood” at the center is acknowledging a “death” or a “temporary sleep” put to Jimin’s femininity. Again, this could be due the environment he was in while in the military — not necessarily due to any major negativity put his way, but just the environment in general — as well as the overall stripping of his identity in the process. We all know how upset he was about having to cut his hair.

Between his prominent focus on his own physical appearance and his already slight difficulty with expressing himself fully, this was probably a lot heavier of an issue than he let on. Along with “motherhood” here, in a rather funny way, I’m hearing it like “ooh, that’s so MOTHER! He’s serving MOTHER!” and Jimin being like, “mother has died :/” when he shaved his head. Funny, but also sad because this seems to have really fucked with him a bit.

Now, just as we’ve seen with Hoseok, there are certain triggers or negative situations coming up for Jimin, or that have already come up for him, specifically so he can process them, deal with them, release them, and clear a path for an even stronger, clearer expression when he’s fully back out in the world and able to present himself the way he wants to — give him time to grow his hair out please!

Stemming off to the side, “purity,” and “let’s cleanse that” are basically the exact same energy, the energy we see in the 4 of Swords and The Siren, where there is an effort made to clear things out. One side focuses on Politics, which centers on the influence of others, especially fans and the public, while the 9 of Swords explores how, where, and why the input from Politics resides within oneself. I see this as purifying (flushing away with that hurricane-induced tsunami) Politics without any mercy, while a more careful hands-on cleansing is applied to the 9 of Swords, each sword, each trigger, each fear and insecurity being looked at carefully and healed up.

Underneath this whole set is one more Sprinkle which is a prompt to “consult the deck of words,” which is the deck I use to get the keywords for these readings. For this, he got Round 2, Soul Mate, and Lessons. I was hearing “round 2” coming through like an announcement in a video game, “level 2,” suggesting a leveling up that involves a significant soul mate and either new lessons being learned or lessons that were learned in “round 1” being applied now for a better way forward. I thought this was interesting because the reading that was voted for Jimin, by quite a large number, was the Soul Mate Reading, so I’m anticipating a callback to this within that reading.

This could also refer back to what I was saying about Jimin modeling the Algiz healing off of someone else, and as Jungkook does (like all the guys) stand as a significant soul mate in his life, it’s possible that this is referring to Jungkook’s assistance, advice, support, or even example as a more stubbornly open and honest type of person who doesn’t take shit from anyone being what is driving Jimin on a conscious level to shed these last elements of concern for what other people have to say about who and what he is as a person, performer, artist, and major influence in the industry and world all together.

MAIN READING

CORE STATE: OYSTER — WATER

Aligning with the Unfinished Symphony (the blue egg), and the general state of everyone being snuggled up in an incubator, receiving new blueprints or working on building new designs for their conscious level counterparts, Jimin’s core state, wrapped up in the Oyster, is very on point. Especially when we consider that inside the Oyster is the pearl, a rare, valuable, and precious gift of nature, something that comes from within.

This is standing out to me quite a bit with how Namjoon, Yoongi, and Hoseok have all showed these slightly more hidden or undefined qualities. Like, we know they’re in these eggs, we know what they’re supposed to be turning into on some level, at the very least, we know what they’re doing in the Soul Body, but the final forms are all hidden or left up in the air. Here, with Jimin, we know we’re getting a pearl, we know we’re getting a tsunami. We know he’s in the kitchen cooking up a stew that will poison one half of the population while it will cure, revive, and evolve the other. I’m assuming because everything really is being left up to his own design, even while he is trying to keep some things on the down low, everything is pretty clear, the paths forward are clear.

Something in this feels to be highlighting the idea of rarity, which goes back to that altered perception of Egotism, where what was once looked at as a flaw is now seen as a unique quality that allows you to stand out amongst a crowd, to be seen. In the same way, there is a recognition of its value, as that unique quality lends itself to a certain skill, talent, or essence that draws attention or is utilized in a very significant and foundational way. It’s like the truest form of self-love is bubbling inside the Oyster right now, brewing inside Jimin.

Even the description of this card feels so on point with what we saw in the guideline reading and the idea of Jimin preparing to share even more of himself with the world:

“Oyster — patient, secret keeper, hiding inner treasures — The focus and determination of the Oyster is unmatched. Anything an Oyster personality puts their mind to, they achieve with grace and charm. The only problem is, Oyster types often take their inner gifts for granted. They become shy or doubtful, and this can lead to withdrawal or the protection of their deepest desires and life’s work. When the Oyster card appears, it’s important to reveal your inner treasures. What is it you’ve been hesitant to share? The world is waiting to see.”

HIGHER SELF CORE ALIGNMENT: OWL — AIR

The state of the Higher Self in this feels connected to The Siren in terms of the Owl’s birds-eye-view and tendency to offer guidance through, or detours around, obstacles or situations in which you are feeling lost. In the same way we see the 4 of Swords mirroring The Siren, handling the same kind of processing but on different levels, with the soul breaking loose a bunch of the muck from the lower subconscious and Jimin, on a conscious level, processing it with more clarity and intention to purge what has been holding him back and holding him down, the Oyster is mirroring The Owl. They’re kind of already in alignment, they’re parallel to each other, but operating on different floors. Where the Oyster is implied to have a treasure hidden inside of it, the Owl is described as being on the lookout for treasure, seeking it, finding it, leading you to it.

The Owl’s connection to clairvoyance sets up a very broad lens here, where while Jimin is, and is meant to, be focusing more on himself and navigating his inner workings with this, his soul has an eye out for the external matters just as much as the internal. Very similar to what I was feeling with Jimin’s soul’s new position in the Soul Body, the fierceness, that professionalism being applied to things that once felt a bit more fluid… yeah, there’s just a very sharp eye being applied here on all levels from Jimin’s soul. He really ain’t interested in playing games anymore, and he’s going to make sure his conscious level self is on the same page no matter what. Even going back to the 10 of Pentacles and “beautiful, so beautiful,” Jimin’s soul, as shown through the Owl, has a desire to build up something beautiful from the inside out and intends that his conscious level experience is just that — beautiful, beautiful, BEAUTIFUL!

For reference, here’s the Owl’s description as well to lay in comparison to the Oyster’s:

“Owl — abundance, clairvoyant, treasures — The Owl is a mysterious and otherworldly creature found in folklore from East to West. The white Owl in this particular deck is the companion of the goddess Lakshmi and represents wealth, beauty, and good fortune. When the Owl card appears it’s an omen that a boon or treasure is on the way, either in spiritual or material form. With Owl wisdom on your side, you’ll “see” and “know” exactly what to do with this boon… how it can further serve your dharma and bring abundance to the world. Trust that the wellspring of treasures is infinite.”

WATER ALIGNMENT: PANTHER — FIRE

Here in Jimin’s Water Alignment, lining up with current and a future position, the Panther’s Fire energy is running through here like a force of aggressive cleansing. It’s kind of holding both ends of that Algiz rune, the masculine and feminine influences from that space. It’s like I’m seeing hardened instinct, very strict, clean-cut decision making, and judgment being applied to his emotional, creative, and intuitive space. It’s like what he will be doing in the Soul Body is what he’s doing right now, and will be doing going forward, for himself — fierce and unyielding protection and preservation.

It’s an odd thing to explain, but the Panther feels very separate from the energy of the Owl and Oyster, it’s heavier, deeper in the shadows, and something about it feels like the Ego itself has been employed to very instinctively, not emotionally, not based on triggers, identify and rip apart anything that causes pain or the urge to hide or deform the self.

The way I’m seeing it in my mind is like The Siren/The Owl diving down into The Underworld/Panther and, through some soul magic shenanigans, bringing that space to life and teaching it how to clean itself. The Underworld started pushing pollutants up and out of the soil, up into Jimin’s conscious mind, and just the same, the Panther, potentially connecting more to the Ego, started chasing down triggers rather than running from them. Unfortunately, while this is a good thing, the way this hits the conscious mind is still like constant triggers and battling with the lower subconscious. It would still hit Jimin quite heavily, but for the sake of him being able to identify, understand, heal, and clear things out so that he can move forward and evolve into his truest form without any concern for fear, insecurity, or past pains.

The duality of this energy is laid out well in the description of the card, so I’ll include this one as well:

“Panther — annihilation of the unnecessary, purging — The Panther won’t stand to see our growth or energy stagnate. Instead, it pounces into our lives and causes all kinds of havoc… with the ultimate intention of bringing us toward more fulfilling lives. It’s unexpected, uncomfortable, and sometimes feels devastating, but after all the dust clears, it’s easy to see the Panther’s wisdom at work. We’ve all been through these experiences, and they’ve made us better people. Trust that the Panther’s journey always leads to a brighter place.”

FIRE ALIGNMENT: CROW — AIR (REV.)

In Jimin’s Fire Alignment, which is the center of his active energy, the energy generated within fuels what comes out through action or expression, he has the reversed Crow, an Air energy. With this energy reversed here, the Air energy does not stimulate the Fire. It hits it more like a strong breeze through the window hits a candle. I’m not seeing it being blown out, but it’s flickering.

When reversed, the Crow is described as being hypersensitive and ungrounded, and that’s pretty much how I’m seeing this. Just as the wind causes a candle to flicker, I’m seeing the Crow attempting to land on a hot plate, its feet dancing on it before lifting itself back up into the air, over and over again. It’s giving the feeling that Jimin has a lot of energy, a lot of ideas right now, but they’re not lining up. This could be quite simply due to him not being fully out of military service yet and not being in a position to start fleshing out those ideas, or it could be a matter of time, having a lot of ideas and feeling like there’s no where to fit them all in, so everything stays up in the air.

On a more complicated level, this could be registering as inner conflict, especially as reversed Air energies can imply cut-offs of communication or inward focus. As the lower subconscious mind bubbles up to the surface, where Jimin’s conscious level mind is possibly buzzing with confidence, excitement, and inspiration, he may be caught in a kind of back-and-forth between visions of his future and visions of his past. It’s like the Fire energy of the Panther has heated everything up, as it’s supposed to, burning the bad and allowing some things to bubble up to the surface, but it’s causing a “distraction,” or it’s registering as an opposing idea.

No matter how you look at it, there is a flickering of ideas, inspiration, and an unstable sense of foundation for those ideas and inspiration to take root. I’m about 95% sure that will change as soon as the group is all back together and they have a better sense of how things are going to go moving forward. Having that element of stability or foundation can help to settle everything else, or at least get a good grip on it.

EARTH ALIGNMENT: HUMMINGBIRD — AIR

Moving over into the Hummingbird here in the Earth Alignment, which can show a person’s connection to physicality, their environment, their body, and their self-awareness or perception, there is an inversion of the Crow’s energy.

The Crow stands on a ball made up of many colors, its form making it appear to be shrouded in shadows, while the Hummingbird is flying, wings open, and the colors burst around it, seeming to generate a light from within itself. Just the same, however, there’s another interesting duality to these cards where, on the outer edges of the images, the Crow is surrounded by light while the Hummingbird has shadows around it. They’re basically the same energy, the same exact image, but they’re flickering back and forth — open and close, inside and outside, light and dark. They’re the same card, but what is different is how they are presented to the outside world, or more accurately, whether or not they are shown to the world.

The Hummingbird is here in the Earth Alignment because this is the part of Jimin that is meeting the world. This is the part that is in that “light sun” mode from his old-school Light Sun/Dark Sun thing. It’s the more positive side of himself that he projects out. I’ve seen this before, however, I’ve never seen the “dark sun” be so closely connected to, or even really all that visible next to, the “light sun.” I think this showcases how present he is with those lower subconscious elements of himself, how aware he is of them, and how close to the surface they are.

There is a feeling of necessity in the Hummingbird. He needs to have this energy, needs to display it because he (Mr. Libra Man) sort of self-affirms by seeing that part of himself reflected back to him. When he puts out the good part of himself to people he’s close to, he gets that good back, and it affirms the good overall, both inside and out. Just as he can mask his own darkness by radiating good, he can mask the darkness of the world by generating good in the people around him. On another level, there’s also just that feeling of not wanting to burden others with that pain or heavier emotions, and choosing to be the light of the group, the energizer in the social circle.

I really can’t get over how close the Crow and the Hummingbird feel to each other, like they’re looking at each other through a mirror. He’s so aware of them. I do wonder if there will be a point within his integration where the “dark sun” and “light sun” merge… OR IS THAT THE SECOND MOON? These are both reflecting internal aspects of his own emotional and energetic resources, maybe these are the two moons??? Hmmmm… I don’t think so, but MAYBE. WHO KNOWS.

AIR ALIGNMENT: HYENA — FIRE

Lastly, his Air Alignment, which connects to his conscious level thinking and manner of communication and observation, he has the Hyena with a nice half moon in the background, because of course he does. I’m lowkey so annoyed with this image because I feel like the Hyena is giving me that sly little side-eye that I keep getting from Jimin’s Guides and his soul over all this “it’s coming…” and “there’s more there…” malarky. Even worse, the card is literally about a person having hidden potential and desires that are just below the surface, waiting to spring out. The half moon in the image is an intended symbol of person half-illuminated, half-visible to the people around them.

Playing a bit off of the Hummingbird and Jimin’s choice to project the most positive aspects of himself, the Hyena is described as being quite humorous and a jokester, the type of person who wants to make people laugh and feel good, but it’s implied that this is a way to compensate for their own inner troubles. I mean, really, I’m better off just including the description for this card as well because it’s straight to the point with it:

“Hyena — humor, wit, sarcasm — The Hyena personality is a jokester and crowd pleaser, but below the surface, there are unfulfilled dreams to be realized. When the Hyena card appears, it’s time to reflect on your reliance on sarcasm and humor to express your truth. Are you using jokes to hide old resentments in relationships, or to mask things that you feel uncomfortable discussing? What would happen if you took your goals seriously?”

It feels like a bit of backchat toward the Hummingbird, the question of “are you using jokes to hide old resentments?” Are you beaming this bright just to hide that heavy shadow behind you? It’s interesting because, again, this is covering Jimin’s conscious level thought process, as if he’s asking himself these questions while actively projecting the Hummingbird. It’s just so prominent, the fact that these opposing elements of himself are like… standing nose to nose and he’s so consciously aware of it, working on it, figuring it out, and his soul is right there with him tossing things around and helping him see more and more. Again, I say this, on a conscious level, is not an easy thing to deal with, but he’s definitely DEALING with it, not hiding it, not running away from it, not letting it break him down. He’s just staring at himself in a mirror in a way he hasn’t been able to before.

With this, I feel he may even be doing a bit of what Hoseok is doing, where just as much as he’s observing himself, he’s observing other people in relation to himself. He’s maybe seeing who can clock when he’s “putting on a face,” or who responds positively to his “performer persona” and who responds negatively to his truer self. Maybe he’s, like the Hyena, looking over his shoulder, peaking around the corners of his connections and just being like, “do you see what I see right now? How long have you seen this? How long have you known about this part of me? Why do you like it? Why do you hate it? How has that affected our connection? How has that affected you? How has that affected me?”

MAIN READING WITH SPRINKLES!

Starting with the Pather, since it seems just to be sitting on its own over there while all the other cards are chit chatting it up with their Sprinkles, there is a red Sprinkle that says “intended hurt.” This was quite a heavy feeling to take in. It’s so simple, but it pinpoints the mission of the Panther/The Siren in terms of what exactly is being shaken loose from the Underworld or the lower subconscious and being brought up into Jimin’s conscious mind. The focus on “intended hurt” is a focus on the things people say and do to Jimin with the intention to severely harm him — direct harassment, death threats, distortion of his image, corruption of his personality, the attempts to harm or end his relationships, and the threats and harassment brought on his friends and family as a result of him… existing?

I don’t even really want to dwell on it much because there are a lot of visuals coming from this, and the way Jimin seems to have taken these things, what they’ve turned into within himself, is quite a difficult thing to process. I won’t even try to describe it, but there’s certainly a reason why there is so much emphasis on Fire being used to burn things out, while a hurricane and a tsunami are being used to flush out whatever is left — biblical-level punishment.

Speaking of biblical punishments, over the Owl at the top of the spread, there is “Hagalaz” which is a rune associated with natural disasters, uncontrollable forces, wrath, and general destruction. Directly underneath that is “black swan,” which was taking me back to the connection between the Crow and the Hummingbird, how they stand as inverted versions of each other. I had made a note of the fact that “Hagalaz” was right over the Owl’s eyes while “black swan” was in its mouth. There was intention in the eyes, action in the mouth — intention or focus on the necessary destruction, connecting to the Panther’s influence, with an aim at the “black swan” or the heavier shadows that weigh down the Crow and cause it to hide its light and colors.

I saw it a bit more graphically, with the Owl ripping the feathers and flesh off the Crow until it revealed another Hummingbird. Once it was free, it flew towards the other Hummingbird, merged with it, and then the half moon inside the image of the Hyena became full. This could also be the “two moons” thing, two halves of the moon.

Connecting downward from the Owl into the Oyster, there is “things didn’t go right,” and “free flowing.” I was seeing this coming together as “things weren’t flowing right,” referring to the Water and Fire alignments, the inner energies connected to emotional and creative expression and action. This brought to mind the “black pond” or the visual I have for the 8th House or lower subconscious spaces, which appear to me as ponds of black tar. The clear, cool water that is supposed to be there is replaced by thick, heavy black tar that’s easy to get stuck in and very hard to swim through. It’s like the light and colors in the Crow would flow out, but they’re stuck in the shadows.

Just the same, with this connection to the Oyster, I was seeing the Oyster itself, representing Jimin, as being a bit lost within the tar, within the shadows. Part of him, the “light sun,” is outside, visible, as the Hummingbird, but the Crow, or more specifically, the ball of colors it stands on, is the pearl inside the Oyster. As I’m seeing it now, the Panther’s Fire energy is burning through a lot of the tar, or a lot of the sources of the tar, and this is, first and foremost, clearing out the tar that was once inside the Oyster, allowing the pearl to glow from within. The outside, Jimin physically, probably because he’s still technically in the military and still technically not fully back in his groove yet, is still in the shadows, but there is something very visibly glowing from within.

Connecting over to the Crow from the Oyster, there is “layered clothing” and “jigsaw puzzle.” This affirmed for me that the ball we see in the Crow is the pearl that is inside the Oyster, and the Panther’s mission is to break that ball of colors free. The merging of the “light sun” and the “dark sun,” or what has been shown here as the Crow merging with the Hummingbird after it’s been stripped clean of all the tar or shadows is the jigsaw puzzle, the pieces coming together, while the “layered clothing” is the stripping of these shadows, as well as the eventual “stripping” of the oyster to reveal the pearl.

To the right side of the Crow, there is “strike a chord,” which is meant to refer to something that either triggers strong emotions or causes some kind of ripple of memories to come up. I was seeing this, in relation to the Crow, as a moment in which, perhaps even by accident, the Panther, or Jimin, or maybe even the audience since this is literally standing “outside” the reading, stumble across the pearl, or seem to catch a glimps of what has been hidden. I was really confused by the significance of this, but the color of this Sprinkle bounced off the other dark blues — “it’s a simulation,” and “please don’t go,” which didn't make much sense with the other Sprinkles around them.

As I see it, “it’s a simulation” in the Air Alignment and “please don’t go,” in the Earth Alignment are a “trigger response” to someone, or anyone, seeing the pearl before Jimin himself is ready to actually share it. On one level, he’d basically say, “you’re just imagining things,” or “you’re seeing it wrong, haha,” make a joke about it in some way, while within himself he’d have a fear that whatever this ball of colors is would cause people to want to leave him. There’s an inherent insecurity and defensiveness around this, which is why the Panther is in there trying to break it free so that Jimin can let it out as cleanly as possible without any feelings or concerns about what other people will say or do about it. Very interesting.

Over the Hyena, there is “escaping time” toward the top, and “resist” down toward the bottom. “Escaping time,” seems to connect more to the half moon while “resist” is connected to the Hyena itself. There’s this interesting marker here about the idea of Jimin’s moon having been frozen in time, frozen in the half-full phase, time not passing, development not occurring. It’s suggesting this idea that by continuing to limit his own progression and expression, he is sort of throwing away his own time, wasting his own time. I want to say, on some level, he’s killing himself if he allows “time” to freeze like this any longer. I’m seeing it in my head as the Oyster dying with the pearl inside of it, the Crow drowning in the tar with the ball of colors still in its grasp. Kind of heavy.

The note to “resist” feels like a more conscious level effort to resist his own inner shadows telling him to hide, lay low, don’t speak, and so on, and connecting a bit into the Panther’s Fire energy, and pushing forward with things anyway. It feels like he’s in a two-way challenge — on one level, he’s challenging himself and his own insecurities and fears, and on another level, he’s challenging the world and all the people who gave him, and continue to give him those fears and insecurities.

Connecting downward to the Hummingbird, there is “raise the price,” which feels like a note connected to “resist” where he’s basically being prompted, from some level of his awareness, to literally raise the price, or recognize his value and rarity as the pearl or as Blessed. There’s an interesting balance being created between the Hyena and the Hummingbird through this, where, on its own, the Hummingbird feels “cheap” in the sense that it performs for everyone without being asked, lighting up the room for everyone without expecting anything in return. The Hyena is — and this could connect to Jimin’s assessment of other people and how they interact with him in different states — looking over his shoulder like, “this crowd aint worth the free labor, pack it up or mark it up. This place is too dark to appreciate all that light you’re throwing out everywhere.” The Hyena is way more aware of the dark and light in the world and in the people around him, whereas the Hummingbird is only focusing on the light that is reflected back, not realizing how much of its own energy is actually being wasted on people who are basically black holes.

Over the Hummingbird on its own, but sliding a bit outside of the spread, there is a back and forth conversation that contains, “do you still like to…” “it’s not the same thing,” and “left behind.” I was seeing this come together as:

“Do you still like to perform like this?”

“It’s not the same as it used to be.”

“Then leave it behind.”

The “please don’t go” follows this, and it does still ring true here as this underlying fear that if he switches things up or expresses himself more honestly, reveals a whole other half of himself, that people will leave him. There’s a kind of “butting heads” feeling here where he feels stuck between wanting to leave behind a certain persona or veil over his identity, and potentially being left behind by others as a result.

The number “10” is the last Sprinkle in this set, and I felt it connected to the 10th House, which matters to higher career, fame, and public engagement, as well as the influence of 10 in numerology. As numerology technically only moves through 1 to 9, the number 10 is just another 1 with the infinite potential of the number 0, connecting to The Fool card, attached to it. I always see the number 10 as signifying a portal where 1, the individual, is moving through 0, infinite potential, to initiate a new state of being or phase of progression. For Jimin, as this lingers on the outside of this reading, right alongside his Earth Alignment, there is this feeling of this back-and-forth conversation and the Hummingbirds connection to the Hyena leaving him somewhat teetering on the edge of either snuffing himself out into a New Moon or allowing himself to be entirely illuminated as a Full Moon.

That’s all I have for this one, thanks for reading! :)

XXXX

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[seafoamreadings]

week of january 26th, 2025

these are written predominantly for the *rising* signs but they are also intuitively "channeled" enough that they should work for any dominant energy you have! (try your sun if you don't know rising, or more advanced readers can try moon, anywhere you have a stellium, etc and see what works best for you!)

aries: your week is a little bit, i'll just say, wimpy? there are many good aspects coming up but none that particularly energize you, especially with mars in his current state. so do not expect yourself to be up for a lot, but do surround yourself with life's small and simple pleasures.

taurus: it would take me a long time to list out the individual aspects affecting you this week but let me at least say they are all empowering, and mostly not too difficult. if you're not feeling a bit electrified, by love or by the revolutionary spirit or by magic or something, you likely have your mind on things that aren't in alignment with your true desires or path.

gemini: focus this week on your highest ideals, be they spiritual, philosophical, or academic. whether you're the most devout nun in the cloister or the staunchest atheist out there, you have some ideals and if you don't, you need to be looking harder. bonus points if you set some intentions about these ideals to follow through with over the coming few weeks.

cancerians: the new moon this week makes you magical. like in the witchiest and most esoteric of ways. so, do with that what you will. you also benefit a lot from this week's piscean activity, especially if you have placements in the last few degrees of this sign.

leo: your relationships, the committed, serious ones, are in focus this week. your romantic partner, your business partner, your best friend, whoever you are really in a solid commitment with, to each other, these relationships get a lot of fresh air in a lot of good ways. unrelated but simultaneously you may find yourself more clairvoyant than usual so don't take those dreams and visions to be silly. they are not.

virgo: your partnerships get a big blessing this week especially if you are in a romantic relationship and especially if that relationship has been defined and committed to. but this does apply to all forms of partnership. it may be obviously miraculous or a smaller occurrence, and it is just the beginning.

libra: if you're not having fun - at least making some fun for yourself! - you aren't doing this week right. if you haven't been in a while, set serious intentions about it this week and follow through. you may also see an increase in your health and wellness, a very sacred ritual you can incorporate into your routine, or develop a gym or workplace crush. if so it's not a bad idea to entertain those newly open paths.

scorpio: expect (or cause!) changes to your partnerships, and to your home life. one thing that looks quite possible for you is a romantic choice. you have someone you've long been committed to on the one hand and someone new or very interesting on the other, or if it's not people it may be passion projects, for example. it's not an easy choice but whatever you choose at this time gets a little venusian blessing as long as you are following your heart and not just social rules.

sagittarius: you have two major quests this week according to the planets. first, take care of things at home or with your family of origin, or your ancestral line, whichever most calls to you at this time. second, be in your community helping the sick, the poor, the elderly, whomever is needing it.

capricorn: although there are many pleasant aspects this week there are not many that touch your sign directly. however your ruler saturn is in pisces and pisces is an epicenter for a lot of good, even miraculous things at the moment. plus mercury into aquarius this week is good for your money, resources, and assets - perhaps your time, most of all.

aquarius: it's a very busy week, for everyone, and you more than average. so you have things to say and it's not going to work for you to wait around for a better time to say it, get it out. set intentions that improve yourself and your lot. a change may be made for you, like it or not, in your home life, ie in your abode *and/or* involving your family of origin. but you have all the resources needed to handle any obstacle in your path even if it seems to require a miracle.

pisces: your inner world, and your psyche, may be more active now than the three-dimensional scenery around you. but you are like a magician, or even more than that. venus and neptune conjoin in your sign. the former is exalted and the latter in domicile. for a little while they even involve the moon. trust your intuition and your dreams but don't trust that people's motives are as pure as they may seem. you are the microcosm and the macrocosm here, so they may symbolize some troublesome part of you, but the best way to reap the (immense!) benefits of this period is to remember that they are part of you.

watch the transit posts in real time to have the best guide through your week. want a little more? have a look at my patreon.

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[yridenergyridenergy]

Dir en grey interview translation notes around The Devil In Me

Just some of the more interesting bits from the single's booklet and from PHY vol. 25.

Kyo

He was the one who came up with the title, and the title was determined before they even attached a song to it. The band basically decided to set a date for a new single ahead of time, not too long after 19990120's release, then they had just one song selection meeting (usually, they have three) to pick a song to work with toward becoming "The Devil In Me". After scheduling a release date, they had to pick a title before even knowing what song would be part of that release for production/logistical reasons.

Kyo wrote the lyrics of The Devil In Me based on his sense of dissociation from world events, how his own issues are not aligned with what the world cares about. He finds that people's lives are sometimes pre-determined the moment they are born. It's really a reflection on: "Why am I the way I am?"

The chorus has so many layers because Kyo wanted to illustrate that inner evil, or wickedness.

While re-recording Yokan, Kyo realized that he used to sing in short bouts, taking a breath more regularly, whereas he's evolved to sing as much as he can in a single, long breath now.

The small changes made to the lyrics of Cage just serve to help Kyo feel more immersed in that old poem, but if he'd wanted to change the lyrics to represent his current mindset, clearly he would have composed a completely new, different song.

Kyo commented in PHY vol. 25 that if the producers wanted a band that sells a lot, they would have had to replace him with someone who is taller, has a nice face and that composes songs that appeal to a wider audience. But around their debut, Kyo had to bend to some of the producers' demands because he had to rely on their knowledge of what would make the band successful. He wanted to make a very dark band, but he had to accept to make songs like Yokan.

"It wouldn't be appropriate to sing about corpses and internal organs to a melodious song such as Yokan (lol)."

Kyo feels like Dir en grey is the toughest band for him to be a part of, because the band's shows are especially mentally difficult.

Kaoru

The music of The Devil In Me was Kaoru's idea.

Kaoru agrees that the song kind of ends in a way that the band could have, in the past, followed up on with a second section of the song, but they felt like ending it in a more simple way now, which still represents the band's current state.

Die

The band had a discussion in a dressing room during Tour23 Phalaris Final –The scent of a peaceful death- and that's where they came to an understanding of where they wanted to take the band next. Kyo brought them ideas on what he felt that the next single song should sound like, but in the end, at the selection meeting, the majority of the band chose a completely different song than the other of the 5 that Kyo preferred. He's fine with letting the majority win.

Die started working out in 2018 to make sure to stay in shape for stage performances, and I think that he mentioned that it's important for him to appear young and healthy so that the fans who follow the band also don't feel old.

For Die, he was in part less active on stage during the Dum Spiro Spero era because the songs were dark and complex, so he had to focus more. Because of that, he couldn't enjoy the actual shows as much.

Toshiya

Toshiya mentioned that doing commemorative tours and shows is really just fan service.

Toshiya described Dir en grey as a group of five dictators. Their enemies and friends/allies are all inside that group, and the past 25(+) years have been a continuation of challenges to bring the band forward despite this type of chemical reaction between five egos.

Apparently the band never has casual "weird" conversations where they chat about their interests of the moment, but they quietly observe the others without interacting, like by observing what kind of clothes they wear or are into.

Shinya

Contrary to the band's habit, the vocals did not even exist yet when Shinya had to compose and record his drumming for The Devil In Me. When the vocals were eventually recorded, they kind of matched what Shinya had expected.

However, overall, a couple of members of the band feel like The Devil In Me might be a song that people react to with: "I don't get it", rather that just liking or disliking it.

Shinya dissing The Marrow of a Bone again hahah.

Shinya described The Devil In Me as mysterious, inexplicable.

He started taking some lessons from Buck-Tick's "Anii" (Toll Yagami) to learn a new drumming method. In the past, at the very beginning of his career, Shinya used to wear lead weights at his ankles to hit the pedal heavier and develop muscles, but Yoshiki and other seniors told him how to actually play and he quickly got rid of the weight belts.

[marty4282]

[Theory/Analysis]

Dazai going back to the PM?

This has most likely been done already, but I just thought of it, I'm a lil slow. There's actually multiple points that lead to this conclusion, some may be on the more "theory" side while others are facts.

The deal (duh.). So as everyone knows, in exchange for the Port Mafia's aid to the ADA during the Decay of Angels conflict, one of the members of the ADA will be transferred to the PM. This excludes Yosano. Who else would Mori want other than the Demon Prodigy (or is Black Wrath the canon title?) that he built from the ground up? Mori's always wanted Dazai back, as he was his best asset, his former right hand. He will only want someone that is an asset to the Port Mafia, no one else, and who else would fill that role better than his right hand?

Mori's prediction. In Dark Era, Mori stated that Dazai would take over as boss for the Port Mafia when he turns 23. Dazai is currently 22. This aligns with the deal occurring right now.

Dazai's revenge. Ok, this is where I start theorizing (aka my opinion). Dazai has a grudge against Mori for Oda's death, this isn't new information. However, I wouldn't put it past Dazai if he wanted to exact revenge on Mori by killing him and taking his position. I mean, think about the last point, this is the only way Dazai can become boss at 23, by killing Mori, and Mori's predictions are rarely wrong. Killing Mori and becoming boss is one thing, but what if Dazai's true goal has been to dismantle the Port Mafia altogether?

"I want to see the Port Mafia burn." - Osamu Dazai, Stormbringer. This is Dazai's golden opportunity. To watch the Port Mafia "burn" by dismantling it from the inside. To seize control of the entirety of the Port Mafia and take it down, once and for all. This would be Dazai's final revenge to Oda, to destroy the thing that killed him. To destroy the thing that Mori worked so hard to build up. If it wasn't for the Port Mafia, Oda could have very well became the writer he wished to be, or maybe be in the ADA like in BEAST.

Just a final point for loose ends. This just got me thinking, like what if this was what Dazai has been waiting for? An opportunity to surprise EVERYONE? The ADA will just think that he's protecting them by going back. Mori will be glad to have his right-hand man back. Chuuya, even though I haven't mentioned him at all here, will be waiting to see what game Dazai has planned. But what if Dazai pulls a 180, kills Mori, and becomes the boss just to take down the Mafia and enact his final revenge? That would be sick, but like I said these last two points are mostly me theorizing. Until it's canon, everything is fair game.

ANYWAY...this is my first post so...yippee I guess.

[jackied0minguez]

Remote Work Redefined: TopDevz CEO Ashkan Rajaee on the Future of Flexible Business

In a world where remote work has rapidly shifted from a temporary solution to a long-term strategy, TopDevz CEO Ashkan Rajaee is leading by example. Speaking ahead of the Ft. Lauderdale International Boat Show, Rajaee shared insights on how his company has seamlessly integrated remote operations into its DNA—and why he believes this model isn’t just a passing trend.

A New Kind of Software Solutions

TopDevz isn’t your typical tech firm. Comprising an elite team of software developers, designers, project managers, and quality assurance specialists based in the United States and Canada, the company tackles the unique challenges that conventional off-the-shelf software can’t resolve. Rajaee explains that while standard solutions can cover 80–90% of business needs, the remaining nuances often cause significant inefficiencies. TopDevz fills this gap by offering custom solutions designed to address those critical details, ensuring that their clients achieve peak operational efficiency. With an impressive 96% workforce retention rate and 63% of their business coming through referrals, the company’s model speaks volumes about its effectiveness and employee satisfaction.

Mastering Remote Operations

Long before the global pivot to remote work, TopDevz was already thriving in a fully virtual environment. Rajaee emphasizes that the success of remote operations lies in having the right infrastructure and clear communication channels. “Working remotely isn’t as simple as logging in from home,” he notes. “It demands disciplined processes and a commitment to best practices—elements we’ve honed over the years.” His team’s seamless transition during the pandemic only reinforced the idea that a well-organized remote workforce can outperform traditional office setups.

The Indefinite Future of Remote Work

For TopDevz, remote work isn’t a temporary workaround—it’s the future. Rajaee envisions a business landscape where companies can lower overhead costs while empowering employees to work from anywhere. This flexible model not only drives client satisfaction by reducing expenses but also enriches employees’ lives by allowing them to choose environments that inspire creativity and well-being.

Rajaee even shares a personal touch: his passion for working from a yacht. Equipped with reliable Wi-Fi and satellite services, his unconventional workspace symbolizes the freedom that remote work offers. “If your current job doesn’t support the lifestyle you aspire to, it’s time to consider other opportunities,” he advises. His own journey from renting a yacht to eventually making it part of his regular work life underscores the importance of aligning one’s career with personal values and ambitions.

Empowering the Next Generation of Remote Entrepreneurs

Beyond leading TopDevz, Rajaee is passionate about sharing his remote work philosophy. Through his “RemotePreneur” initiative, he provides aspiring entrepreneurs and professionals with a playbook for building successful remote companies. This resource addresses the nuanced challenges of remote business management—from overcoming financial stagnation in traditional roles to confronting the inevitable criticisms that come with venturing off the beaten path. Rajaee’s message is clear: true freedom in work comes from rethinking established norms and embracing the possibilities that remote operations can offer.

Embracing a New Era

As businesses around the globe continue to navigate the evolving work landscape, Ashkan Rajaee’s vision serves as a powerful reminder that remote work, when executed with precision and passion, can unlock unprecedented opportunities. His leadership at TopDevz demonstrates that with the right approach, remote operations can not only sustain but also drive innovation, employee satisfaction, and overall business growth.

In a time when flexibility and adaptability are more important than ever, Rajaee’s insights offer a compelling roadmap for companies eager to thrive in a remote-first world.

[hetaliahyperfix]

Hetalia Headcanons: Nation Physiology- Immortality

There's been a lot of interpretations of the nations' immortality over the years. Some people believe that nations will permanently die from a regular mortal wound like any human would while others believe nations cannot be harmed at all.

Canon seems to indicate that the latter is more of the case, with the Hetalia Horror Show stating that Finland was unable to drown when he fell into a freezing lake, but was instead suffocating endlessly, unable to die (which is pretty horrific, if you ask me).

I personally have my own headcanons as to how their immortality works. Some of it aligns with canon, and some of it deviates a little. I figure its fine since everyone kinda picks and chooses which parts of canon they like.

So, here are my headcanons (tw: violence, death, disease):

Nations cannot die the way humans do. At least, not permanently. Honestly, the idea is kind of absurd. It is impossible for them to have survived as long as they have if this was the case. China alone is over 4,000 years old and has fought in tens of thousands of battles, yet I am to believe he has not once sustained a mortal wound? What happens to the PRC if its nation persona dies from being hit by a car while being distracted by playing a mobile game on his phone? In my interpretation, nations cannot permanently die from fatal wounds, diseases, old age, and whatever other stuff that kills regular humans.

Nations can temporarily die. While they can't permanently die from mortal wounds, they can temporarily. For example, if they are shot in the head, it will kill them. However, they will heal and revive.

Nations have supernatural healing. This actually seems to be canon, based on the comic of Prussia lying about when he injured his hand, saying it was recent instead of the real answer which was a week ago, implying that healing tends to be faster for nations. In my headcanon, the nation's ability to heal depends on how strong their nation is economically, militarily, and through their overall cultural influence on the world. Currently, America and China heal the most rapidly, both being superpowers, being able to regenerate entire lost limbs in mere moments. On the other hand, Iceland has a very small GDP, no military, and very little cultural impact on the world, so he would take at least 20 seconds to heal a simple stab wound. Naturally, this healing fluctuates with the nation's power. When America was a colony, it would have taken him several minutes if he wanted to regenerate a limb. Better to just reattach the limb and heal it that way.

If the body cannot heal, a new one will be created. For example, let's say a nation fell into the ocean and is drowning. They keep dying and reviving in an endless cycle. Eventually, either through their own choice, or the supernatural natural nature of their existence, that body will permanently die and a new body will be reborn on their nation's soil. This process takes at least 24 hours and depends on how strong a nation is. America and China could probably revive 24 hours on the dot. Meanwhile, Monaco could take several days. Nations do all they can to avoid this type of death because it is, at best, highly inconvenient and it can, at worst, single handedly screw things over for them majorly. Imagine being a nation at war and having your body blown up by a bomb. By the time you revive and then travel back to the battlefield, it may already be over. This was especially awful when travel was not fast and it would take months to get somewhere.

Nations do not scar the way humans do. A nation's healing, no matter how weak they are, is perfect. It may take a while, but their bodies will go back to the way they were, meaning no scars. For a nation to receive scars, it would be based on injuries received during significant national events, especially if they are violent. For example, the French Revolution was very significant in French history so, when France was beheaded, he had a permanent, faint scar around his neck even after he healed. When the Romanovs were shot dead, ending Imperial Russia's rule, one of the bullets that bounced off the jewels they were wearing hit Russia and left a permanent bullet wound scar. Basically, a nation can end up with a permanent scar by receiving the wound during a significant, usually violent, event in their history.

Nations do not get sick the way humans do. Nations are immune to getting illnesses the way humans do. If they are around people with colds, they'll never catch a cold. They also never get terminal illnesses like cancer. There's only two things that can get a country sick: poor economy and epidemics. Honestly, this seems to be canon. Basically, if a nation's economy is doing poorly, like during the Great Depression, they will get cold/flu-like symptoms. The other way they get sick is through epidemics. Essentially, if enough people in their nation are sick, their own bodies will reflect this illness. However, since they didn't catch the illness naturally and got it though their nature as a nation, they can only stop being sick when the epidemic is over. When a nation is sick, they cannot be cured through ordinary means, they can only use medicine to alleviate the symptoms. During the Black Death, the European nations all had the bubonic plague to varying degrees for years. In fact, the bubonic plague made various resurgences over centuries. Many of them have scars from when the pustules burst and just about every one of them was extremely traumatized by it.

Nations can be effected by other types of "epidemics." For example, during the Red Scare when everyone in America was living in fear of their neighbors being communists, America became very paranoid. During the Opium Wars in China, his body began to crave opium like an addict before he even touched the stuff because nearly all his citizens were addicted, causing him to be addicted before even using. India went through at least three major famines killing over 10 million people each time from 1769-1793, so he was always underweight and hungry even if he ate during this time period.

Nations are resistant to poisons and chemicals. It takes far more poison to kill a nation than a human, although you can do it if you use a strong enough poison. I read a headcanon once that China would calmly drink a poisoned drink in front of the person who did it, just to freak them out. He 100% would do this, no debate.

Nations are vulnerable to radiation. One of the few things they are vulnerable to. While they can endure it better than humans, it is still not good. Radiation works by killing cells, via preventing them from dividing. This disrupts their ability to regenerate, so they heal slower with it.

Nations age based on economic and cultural development. This one is kinda canon. Regular humans age by the year. Nations seem to age based on the development of their country. For example, America's economy grew far faster than Canada's, and there is even a strip showing a nearly adult America next to a baby Canada despite both being born around the same time. On the opposite side of the spectrum, we see that North Italy did not age from infancy for over a 1,000 years. He was alive to have known Ancient Rome, which means he would have been born, at latest 476 AD. He did not begin to age until the Renaissance in the 1500s. As an aside, could you imagine being a baby/toddler for 1,000 years? That's honestly sounds horrific. And, based on England's shocked reaction to America's growth, it seems spending several hundred years as a baby is the norm.

So, with all of this being said, how do nations die? Well, that will be my next post. This one is already long enough so I am going to continue in another post. I hope you enjoyed my first major headcanon post! Let me know your own thoughts in the comments below.

Next Part

[chadchady]

Dom m!user x bot! FTM soap

Warning - mdni, fem aligned dni, scent kink, barebacking, breath play?, noncon, PiV, cunnilingus(not really tbh) , face sitting, fingering, masterbation, helplessness, ig somno, underwear fetish,

You were new, or the newest. You had been there for two months so far. While you had been welcomed with open arms, a specific sergeant welcomed you with open legs and a nice hairy cunt in between them. Not literally but it seemed like it. Soap was addicted to you, your scent, your face, hair, muscles, legs, anything and everything.

It had been your average day on base, a lot of hurry up and wait, paperwork, a headache pounding from the yelling. You are currently sitting in the empty mess hall at 11 pm, sipping some peppermint tea, you could feel yourself getting ill already, fuck you hated flu season. You tried to inhale through your nose but couldn’t, you grab a rough napkin and blow your nose with a groan. You grab a second napkin, dapping the sweat off your forehead and neck. You rest your head on the table for a few seconds but your startled out you dazed state by what feels like breeze, you look back, nothing, but you notice the napkin you wiped your sweat on was gone. Your too tired to care.

You drag your feet all the way back to your room, you feel hot, like you have a fever, so you strip. Now butt ass naked, you flop down on your bed and quickly fall asleep. You’re awoken way too soon by a scuffle and creak of the floor. You tiredly look up to see soap.

“Soap?” You groan as you rub your eyes “hey uh, I saw you in the uh uh mess hall, so I-I came to check on you- I saw you I-in the mess hall” he stutters a little, he seemed nervous. He quickly exits you room without saying anything. You would go see what’s up but. You’re too sick to care. Meanwhile, soaps having the time of his life in his room.

He’s laying against the headboard of his bed, one hand playing with his soaked cunt, the other holding your musky underwear up to his face, huffing the scent like it’s a drug. His whines and moans of desperation are muffled by the underwear, the drool slowly dripping down his face is caught by the underwear. It’s not enough for him, he needs the real smell, he needs your cock inside of him.

He pushes himself out of bed, he grabs a pair of loose shorts and slips them on before leaving his room. He hurriedly makes his way to your room. Soaps mind is clouded by arousal, he can hardly think about anything but you. He carefully opens your door and sees you sitting up, half awake, aggressively blowing your nose. You groan when leaning over to throw the tissue away. The noise makes Soaps thighs clench.

“Hey, i think I have a remedy” he says with a smile, though you can’t see it through the darkness. Soap would be awkward about this normally but the fog in his mind was just additional confidence. “What?” You croak, voice hoarse and painfully raspy. “Just lay back, close your eyes and open your mouth” he mutters and you do it. In a few seconds, you feel heat about your face and before you can process it you feel Soaps hot pussy against your face, his thighs squeezing your head. You feel too sick to do anything. He’s grinding against your face, it’s hard to breathe, but you liked the musky smell more than oxygen anyways.

You feel his hands firmly planted on your chest to help himself buck against your face, high whines and moans fill the room. With an particularly deep breath, you feel yourself cough against his cunt. Soap, who moans loudly at the odd sensation as he arches his back, giving you a moment(less than a second) to catch your breathe before grinding again. For what feels like and eternity of oxygen deprivation and the slick dripping down your face and neck and onto the bed, Soap finally pushes himself off your face. He pulls the covers down to expose your cock to him, he practically moans in excitement and desperation.

He takes little time to spit on your cock and stoke it a few times before he positions himself over it. He plunges it deep inside himself pulling an explicit moan from his throat and a weak groan from you. He sets a pelvis cracking pace. You feel your head pounding and lift your hand up to his face before shoving two fingers into his mouth, which he moans around and begins sucking and licking them. You buck your hips up into him and with a loud moan (that your fingers couldn’t even muffle) he squirts all over you, which makes you cum into his warm pussy. You feel the exhaustion take over and you pass out.

Soap contracted your sickness the next day

Should I make a outsiders au?

[umgeorge]

Russell: "19 Out of 20" Drivers Aligned On F1 Racing Guideline Changes

Racing rules were brought into question again as Verstappen and Norris battled in Mexico

George Russell has suggested that "19 out of 20" drivers are aligned on what Formula 1's racing guidelines should be and was pleased to see "unfair" racing manoeuvres penalised at the Mexican Grand Prix Russell, who serves as a director of the Grand Prix Drivers Association, has been vocal on the need for the drivers, stewards and the FIA to discuss the current guidelines on racing in the wake of the US Grand Prix's contentious battle between Max Verstappen and Lando Norris. Speaking in Mexico, where the two championship contenders once again came under scrutiny for their on-track actions-Verstappen penalised twenty seconds for two violations-Russell said that he expected the stewards to continue to take a hard-line approach. He revealed that all but one driver was happy for the stewards to change their approach with penalising certain incidents immediately after Austin, rather than wait until 2025 for new guidelines. "I think the stewards are totally on board with what needs to change," Russell said. "Our view is... I think the biggest discussion is they wanted to wait until '25, so it's something consistent through this year. I would say nineteen out of twenty drivers said, 'Well, if it's incorrect, make the change today.' And I'm glad to see those incidents were punished, and I suspect moving forward in Brazil what we saw today [Sunday] and what we saw last week [in Austin] you won't be able to get away with. You presume [it should be easy to change if everyone agrees], but it sometimes seems more difficult than it has to be when things have to get approved and we've got to go to a vote app. But, as I said, nineteen out of twenty, we're all aligned on where it needs to be." Russell pointed to his own battle with teammate Lewis Hamilton as "hard and fair" racing, in which the younger Briton held off his teammate until the start of the 66th lap. He also had his say on the Verstappen/Norris incident, stating that the Dutchman's turn seven move-in which he carried significant overspeed into the corner and ran Norris off-was something he hadn't seen since Verstappen's move on Hamilton at Brazil in 2021. "It was nice to have the battle, and it's always good when you fight with Lewis because it's hard and fair," Russell said. "At the moment you're seeing a number of manoeuvres that are just... It's getting beyond entertaining or beyond sporting. It's just almost unfair, to a point, now. You can argue the first one was maybe 60-40. The last one, I've not seen anything like that since probably Brazil [2021]."