#and now having all of them in my playlist is surreal to me

[moonstruckdraws]

RAAAAAGH THEY WERE ALL SO GOOD

THE PREMIERE WAS SO GOOD EVERYONE WAS SILLY AND HAVING FUN AND EMOTIONS ACK—

I. LOVE. THIS. MUSICAL!

[mbat]

it is once again past the time i should be asleep and yet im here being emotional and thinking about stuff. trauma, as usual

i kinda realized something that i maybe shouldve realized ages ago but i dont think i wanted to.

for the first while when i would encounter my trigger, i would freeze up. i mean fully frozen in place, unable to move, stuck in my own body. several minutes until i managed to break out of it, and even then id still move slowly.

but the more and more id see my trigger, the less id freeze. it slowly turned into other responses, mainly just this deep numbness taking over me, but id also have times where i couldnt stop crying

and now its more of just a flinch than anything else.

i thought maybe i just 'got used to it'... but the truth is, my responses were my body&mind perceiving danger in something that wasnt dangerous, and over time, i guess those parts of me began to realize that its not a danger, so why am i responding as if it is?

but the conscious part of me, i wasnt really catching up. it was still a danger to me, because i told myself it was. it hurt me once, so surely it would never stop hurting me, even though it was the people, and not that thing. that thing is well... just a thing. its like if i got stabbed by someone and i blamed the knife, rather than the person.

i still need to catch up. theres a part of me that never wants to stop being angry, because it hurt so bad, and it feels like there needs to be some sort of resolution that i cant even identify. like i need vengeance, but like... what does that even mean here?

the people that hurt me... we were all just dumbass kids. they apologized and genuinely changed for the better and moved on. but i was still stuck there. theres some things that happened that i still dont think a simple sorry exactly helps, but its not like im gonna hunt these people down and force them to say more just to soothe me. maybe theres nothing they could say that would.

easier said than done but... i need to move on, yknow? the thought makes me dizzy, ive spent nearly 8 years thinking about this stuff constantly. almost a decade haunted by it. but i have a life i need to live, and i dont want to live it haunted by ghosts of people i havent known for years.

ive gone through a lot since it all happened, both in ways unrelated and related. ive realized things about the nature of trauma and my trigger itself, ive answered my own questions through self reflection, questions that i was scared of the true answer of.

ive also worked so hard to move on already. i dont think ill ever stop bringing it up anytime soon, but i mean, come on! i got back in school! thats still so good.

my trauma situation was part of the reason i dropped out in the first place. and here i am, mending that now.

ive even purposefully stayed in spaces with my trigger because i thought that the space itself was more worth it than continuing to run away. ive cried about it for sure, and yet i was unharmed.

and i keep thinking about a few things. mainly, i go back to what was said on, of all things, cbs ghosts, about forgiveness.

about the fact that dwelling on these things that happened doesnt hurt the people who hurt you, it only hurts yourself. forgiveness is letting it go for your own sake, not for theirs. again, so much easier said than done. i hesitate horribly to attach myself to the phrase of 'i forgive them', because that sounds so different from what i mean. i guess more than anything, that phrase is meant to mean 'i think its time i move on'

and i think its time i stop treating any part of this situation like monsters. the people, my trigger, or my trauma response itself. its so easy to treat these things like villains, but real life isnt like that.

and maybe its a little silly, but i keep thinking about my own words from a few days back, when i was talking about this before. about being burned and then treating plastic tealights as if theyre going to burn me the same way. everytime i think about this now i just think... its a plastic tealight. i cant keep flinching about plastic tealights. and honestly? i cant treat every flame like itll set me on fire, either.

sadly not everything can be done alone, i still wish i could talk about this stuff to a therapist, but i think i still need to do some more work before i can say the words i need to out loud. its a process, after all.

i feel like a lot changed last year, mainly in a way that was seemingly unrelated, but honestly all my issues and emotions are related somehow by now.

my epiphany last year about school, but moreso about the fact that my life wasnt over. about the fact that even when it wasnt an active thought, a part of me still believed that somehow i was royally fucked and would probably be dead in a few years. but then i listened to next semester and realized i could keep going, school was not only a fresh start of sorts, but proof i could keep going and that i still had a life to live!

my trauma was a big part of why i felt my life was over. i felt like i had a demon digging its claws into my back that everyone could somehow sense, like it was something i needed to explain and couldnt forget about, it was my burden. it seeped into everything i did, every part of me.

in a way, realizing my life wasnt over was like tearing its claws out of me, and bandaging the wounds. i dont know that i can say those wounds have yet healed, but theyre progressing.

and its a lot easier to think when you dont have claws hooked in your skin.

[dollerines]

How I entered the void so easily after 1 year of trying

So after 1 year and half of trying to enter I finally did it and I am so mad because it REALLY IS SOOOOO EASY and tbh if in this post you are looking for any sort of validation or info you smart ass already know then please REMEMBER THIS : entering the void is extremely easy. You just have to do it in a way that resonates with you.

Personally for me since I had adhd I couldn’t just stay still and affirm for 1 or even a few for 10 mins. Not just because I was lazy but because just repeating “I am in the void” for so long gets me tired and makes me think of the void more and you actually don’t want to think too deeep about it. I couldn’t wake 3 hours prior and then affirm or even have the patience to do the psych k, yes I was extremely lazy back then and unpresistent but one thing that helped me even backed then was THE ALPHA STATE MEDITATION !

You just have to find what works for you, find a method technique whatever you want to do that doesn’t seem like a chore. So In a post back then I found on @gorgeouslypink acc talking about doing the alpha sate meditation and I tried it back then and I felt really relaxed and it was a good feeling but like I said back then I was realllly lazy so after a few mins I stopped. Then many months later passed and I was still looking for anything and everything on the void. Then just like two days ago I came across another post which was pretty simple and the technique I used was called the DISTRACTED TECHNIQUE.

All there was to do was the usual you get into a comfortable position and then she said to use the alpha state meditation and used the one gorgeouslypink recommended. So I used it and then what she tell you to do is to just think of anything else just get distracted basically and this WAS SO GOOD 4 ME because back then I had adhd so it made it harder to concentrate on just affirming and so yeah I just thought of random things and then at some point where I was completely distracted I felt my body like lift up 😭 if that makes sense I just can’t clearly describe it. It felt really like a shift and I was like ‘panicking’ in a way but I wasn’t actually panicking I just kinda became aware what was going and then I got scared a little but I just relaxed shortly after. Also my fan that was making like a loud noises was coming in an out and then I only hear it in one ear and then I didn’t hear anything and I just stayed there wondering if I reached the void and i actually was!!! I didn’t feel my body it felt like I had no body at all and it was pitch black just like how I imagined the void to be. For a few minutes I just stayed there feeling the most surreal peace I have ever felt. I needed that peace fr 💀.

So then I affirmed for my desires all I said was “I have all my desired results from my subliminal playlist.” Then just to be extra sure I just said “I have everything I want.”

At that point I got really excited and then I wiggled my toes to get out because I was too dam happy I needed to see all my shit the moment I wake up and then I slowly started getting out and when I tell you I cried for like a good dam minute when I woke up and saw how DIFFERENT. My room looked. I literally screamed onto my pillow. I was so dam scare and yet excited to see how I looked.

WHAT I MANIFESTED :

Desired body and face

Having silky straight tailbone length hair cuz mines was originally curly

And everything in my sub playlist

My desired boyfriend and guys I made him be like Gojo Satoru ( because we are all delusional over him 🤪) and let me tell you he is so tall, handsome, sexy and a literal god. He is so silly too 🩷

Moving countries I now live in ny

Never actually meeting my ex and all the people in my old school forget me and have actually never even met me. Like if u asked them about me they have never heard or known me before

Extremely rich rich like hella bands

Got rid of my anxiety and mental health issue

Plus +++

NEVER EVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS.

Even if the circumstances seem to be eating you alive don’t mind that too much. Even if all seems hopeless don’t give up because you already know nothing can decide or be unless you give it power to be. So stop being goofy and take responsibility and DONT STRESS!! You don’t see God stressing do you. All he has to do is blink and whatever he wants to happen, happens. Plus a lot of confidence came from non dualism that I owe a huge thanks to @trynafindbarbiee she really said it like it is !!

YOU GOT THIS ML 🩷🩷🩷🩷

[saebyeokbliss]

JUST MEET ME AT THE APT.— K. SAE-BYEOK

CHAPTER FIVE

synopsis: managing a rising rock band is already chaotic enough, but when you're stuck touring with four reckless musicians, things get even messier. between late-night facetime calls, teasing that feels a little too knowing, and a certain guitarist who might just be your biggest problem, keeping things professional is getting harder by the second. but hey, no one said the music industry was easy.

warnings: mutual pining, intense eye contact, teasing that borders on flirting (or maybe it is flirting), friends who refuse to mind their business, late-night facetime calls, secondhand embarrassment, slow burn that burns, emotional whiplash, cheol being a cutie

playlist: spotify

After the whirlwind that was Coachella, returning to Seoul felt almost surreal. The festival had been a massive success—HOT DIVISION’s performance was already blowing up online, clips of their set spreading across social media like wildfire. Fans, critics, and even other artists were praising them, calling it one of the best rock performances of the year.

But before diving back into the madness of the industry, the girls had one important stop to make.

Dinner at the Kang household.

Ms. Kang had insisted on it the moment she heard they were coming back. She had been supporting from afar, watching livestreams, keeping up with the news, and making sure Cheol—Sae-Byeok’s twelve-year-old brother—did his schoolwork while obsessively following his sister’s every move.

Now, gathered around the small but cozy dinner table, the energy was warm, filled with laughter and the kind of comfort that only home could bring.

"You guys killed it," Cheol said excitedly between bites of food. "Seriously, my friends won’t shut up about it. They keep asking me if I can get them tickets to your next show."

Ji-Yeong smirked. "Tell them we’ll consider it if they start a fan club in your honor."

Cheol lit up. "Wait, really?!"

"No," No-Eul deadpanned, making everyone laugh.

Ms. Kang smiled as she refilled everyone’s bowls. "I saw the performance online. You all looked amazing. I’m so proud of you."

Sae-Byeok, who had been mostly quiet, gave her mother a small, genuine smile. "Thanks, eomma."

Se-Mi leaned back, stretching. "It’s crazy how much attention we’re getting now. Feels like overnight, we went from ‘rising rock band’ to THE rock band."

Ji-Yeong grinned. "I mean, we are that good."

"Yeah, yeah," No-Eul muttered, rolling her eyes.

And then—

Ji-Yeong smirked knowingly. "Oh, speaking of new fans…"

You had just taken a sip of your drink when she said it, and something in her tone made you pause.

"You guys won’t believe this," Ji-Yeong continued, looking at Se-Mi and No-Eul. "Jisoo made a group chat for us."

You froze for just a second—just long enough for it to sting.

"A group chat?" you asked, forcing your voice to stay light. Casual.

"Yeah!" Se-Mi laughed. "She’s actually hilarious. She’s been sending us memes all day."

"And you didn’t add me?" you joked, smiling like it didn’t feel like a punch to the gut.

Ji-Yeong blinked. "Oh, shit. We didn’t, did we?"

Se-Mi shrugged. "Didn’t think you’d care. It’s just dumb stuff."

You waved it off, keeping your expression perfectly neutral. "Nah, it’s fine. I barely keep up with my messages anyway."

Sae-Byeok didn’t say anything.

Didn’t look at you.

Didn’t correct them.

And that hurt more than you wanted to admit.

After dinner, you insisted on helping Ms. Kang clean up. The others were still chatting in the living room, but you needed a moment—just a moment—to push down the sinking feeling in your chest.

As you rinsed dishes in the sink, you felt a presence next to you.

Cheol.

The little troublemaker had grabbed a towel and was drying plates with surprising focus for a twelve-year-old.

"You don’t have to help, you know," you said, giving him a small smile.

He shrugged. "Figured you could use the company."

You raised an eyebrow. "Oh? And why’s that?"

He hesitated, then asked, "Are you okay?"

You stiffened.

He was twelve. How the hell was he this perceptive?

"Of course I am," you said easily, forcing a chuckle. "Why wouldn’t I be?"

Cheol gave you a very unimpressed look. "Because you got all weird when they started talking about Jisoo."

You almost dropped the plate.

"Cheol—"

"I mean, I get it," he continued, lowering his voice like he was sharing a secret. "She’s kinda stealing Sae-Byeok-noona’s attention, right?"

You swallowed hard. "Cheol—"

"And you like her."

Your heart stopped.

You turned to him, actually speechless, but Cheol just shrugged like it was obvious.

"I mean, it’s pretty clear," he said matter-of-factly. "I don’t know why no one else sees it."

You opened your mouth—then closed it.

What were you supposed to say?

Cheol sighed dramatically, shaking his head. "Adults are so bad at talking about their feelings."

You let out a weak laugh, ruffling his hair to distract from the fact that your entire soul was currently malfunctioning.

"You’re too smart for your own good, you know that?" you muttered.

He grinned. "I know."

And as much as you wanted to deny it—to brush it off, to pretend none of this was getting to you—Cheol’s words lingered.

Dinner had settled into that comfortable post-meal haze—everyone lounging in the living room, sprawled across couches and chairs, half-full cups of tea resting on the table.

You had tried to stay engaged, really.

But it was hard when all the girls were glued to their phones, laughing at whatever Jisoo was sending in their group chat.

Ji-Yeong snorted. "No way she just said that."

Se-Mi cackled. "I swear, she’s funnier than you, Ji."

Ji-Yeong gasped, clutching her chest like she had been personally attacked. "How dare you."

No-Eul, who had been silently scrolling, smirked. "You walked into that one."

Even Sae-Byeok, who wasn’t the most expressive when it came to things like this, had a small amused smile on her face as she read whatever Jisoo had sent.

And you?

You were just… there.

You weren’t in the chat.

You weren’t part of the inside jokes.

You were just sitting on the edge of the couch, feeling like an outsider in a group you had been with since the beginning.

It wasn’t their fault.

But that didn’t make it hurt any less.

You exhaled quietly, deciding it was probably time to head out.

"Alright," you said, standing up and stretching. "I should get going—"

"You wanna draw with me?"

You paused, turning to see Cheol looking up at you from the floor, where he had been quietly doodling in a sketchbook.

He held up an extra pencil.

"You don’t have to," he added quickly, like he didn’t want to pressure you. "But, like… it’s more fun with two people."

Something in your chest softened.

Here was this twelve-year-old kid—who could’ve easily gone to play video games or ignored you like most kids his age would—but instead, he noticed.

He saw you feeling left out.

And he was giving you a way back in.

You smiled, genuinely this time, and sat down on the floor next to him. "Alright, but only if we color too. No boring sketches."

Cheol grinned. "Deal."

Cheol had a surprising collection of colored pencils and markers, and soon, the two of you were deep into a ridiculous art session.

You had started drawing a cat, but somehow, it had turned into a superhero cat with sunglasses and a cape.

Cheol was drawing a rock band made up of aliens.

Every few minutes, you’d nudge each other’s arms, messing up lines on purpose, and burst into laughter.

It was silly.

It was fun.

And for the first time that night, you didn’t feel like you were on the outside looking in.

Unbeknownst to you, two people had noticed.

From across the room, Sae-Byeok had glanced up from her phone, her gaze lingering on you and Cheol.

She watched the way you smiled—really smiled—for the first time that night.

The way Cheol leaned into you, like he had claimed you as his favorite person in the room.

The way you weren’t paying attention to any of them anymore.

Sae-Byeok’s grip on her phone tightened slightly.

She wasn’t the only one who noticed.

No-Eul, ever observant, caught the look on Sae-Byeok’s face.

She didn’t say anything.

Just met Sae-Byeok’s gaze for a second—just long enough to acknowledge it.

Then, like nothing had happened, she went back to scrolling through her phone.

And Sae-Byeok?

She looked back at you again.

And this time, she really saw you.

And maybe—just maybe—she realized that she didn’t like seeing you find comfort somewhere else.

taglist: @everly-summers-solace @knfthxv @madebysae @knfthxv @katieschry1 @imlackingsleep @lyzem @stellssxo @wiltingconquest @peelover25@monroesturnns @laurenkens @yenyu1s @idontliketoread2137 @bitchybananaflower @lyuuw

[delicatebarness]

cry baby | chapter sixteen

Summary: Steve, meet...

Warning: Again, no Bucky in this chapter. Protective Big Brother Steve. Oh, and like a little mention of John Walker.

Word Count: 1137

Spotify Playlist | Tips

Series Masterlist | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

A/N: I'm having a day off from Cry Baby tomorrow, how many chapters is that in 2 days now? DON'T LOOK AT THE TAGS IF YOU DON'T WANT SPOILERS. Please feel free to leave feedback or let me know where and how you want the story to continue, this is just as much yours as it is mine. - B

Tags: @buckys0whore | @thezombieprostitute | @lanabuckybarnes | @mishkatelwarriorgoddess | @softieekayy | @noonespecial90 | @hello-therree | @randomawesomeperson102 | @whoreforbarnes | @thejutvtsupport | @somnorvos | @cjand10 | @plasticbottleholder | @birdenthusiastez

The anticipation built up in your chest as you paced your apartment, exchanging nervous glances toward Peter. He was sitting on your couch, with Alpine curled on his lap. You couldn’t understand how he was so calm about today: Today marked a pivotal moment– the first meeting between Peter and Steve. 

A few weeks had passed since you first met Peter, and after a few dates, the connection between you two was deepening rapidly. You were edging towards a boyfriend-girlfriend dynamic, and he was eager to become a part of your life. He even expressed his desire to meet your friends. 

As you and Peter discussed meeting your friends, you opened up about their significance in your life and their ‘contributions’ to the community. With animated gestures, you drew pictures of your friends’ personalities and the roles they play in the group dynamic. Peter, as always, listened attentively, showing his genuine interest by the way he leaned forward, hanging on your every word. 

After deliberation, you both agreed that meeting Steve first would be the best option. Given Steve is the most protective, and your older brother, his approval carried notable weight. 

“Hey,” Steve greeted as the door swung open, his familiar presence filling the small makeshift entryway. He caught you pacing, pulling you into a quick hug. “So, where’s this Parker kid I’ve been hearing about?”

“Living room,” you mumbled, stepping aside to reveal Peter. He was now standing, gently pacing Alpine on the couch. “Stevie, this is Peter,” you introduced, gesturing between them. “Peter, this is my brother, Steve.” 

Peter extended his hand confidently. “Nice to meet you, Steve.” 

Steve shook Peter’s hand firmly, sending him a slight nod of approval. “Nice to meet you too, Peter.” 

You led them to the living room, the light of the early evening sun streamed in from the curtains, casting a soft warm glow over your space. Steve took his regular position in the armchair, while Peter sat back on the couch. 

Heading to the kitchen, your head buzzed with nerves and excitement. You had never ‘brought a guy home’ to meet anyone, especially Steve before, it felt surreal. 

As you pulled the fridge door, your eyes landed on the small handwritten note stuck with a magnet. “You’re the heart of the family, Sweetheart.” Seeing the note brought a bittersweet smile to your face. You missed him, you missed the warmth of his friendship that now felt distant. 

Ever since he started dating, Leah, it seemed like you barely saw him anymore. And, when you did, it was as if you barely knew him. 

With a sigh, you pulled the fridge door fully open, you pulled two bottles of beer and a bottle of cherry cola. 

As you reentered the living room, you passed the men their beers, apologizing for it being all you had. Neither of them minded, both thanking you as you sat beside Peter.

Steve had been asking Peter about his job and interests, and Peter spoke enthusiastically about his work and shared some interesting stories. You felt a sense of relief as the conversation continued, Steve occasionally nodding and injecting with questions.

“So, Peter,” Steve began, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms. “What made you want to be with my little sister?” 

“Steve!” you exclaimed, shaking your head at him. 

Peter glanced at you, his expression softened before turning back to Steve. “Besides her obvious beauty and talent,” he began, causing you to blush and receive a small eye roll from Steve. “It’s her compassion, I’m sure you already know this, but, she has this incredible ability to see the best in people and situations, and that truly resonates with me.” 

Steve’s gaze was piecing, fixed on Peter, he listened intently and mentally evaluated every word Peter said.

“You’re right,” Steve finally broke the silence. “I do already know that about her. Which is why I don’t always trust her taste in men,” His words trailed off, accompanied by a heavy sigh as he shot you a know look. The mention of John Walker was left unsaid. 

He had never fully gotten over the situation with John Walker. His instincts to protect had only intensified since then. You glanced at Peter, who seemed to pick up on the unresolved tension but he remained composed. 

“Steve,” you began, your voice steady, addressing your brother. Reaching out, you grasp Peter’s hand, seeking reassurance. Steve’s gaze flickered down momentarily before meeting yours again, his expression guarded. 

“Peter is different,” you continued, your tone was firm but yet, gentle. “I know we’ve had… issues in the past, but this feels right.” 

His jaw tightened, and his gaze moved to Peter’s, a silent assessment passed between them. “I hope you’re right,” he said, his tone still guarded but softer. “She means a lot to me,” he directed at Peter. “More than you will ever know. And, I’m not exactly eager to see her get hurt.” 

Peter nodded, his expression filled with sincerity. “I understand Steve. And, I promise you, my intentions are nothing but genuine,” he affirmed, he met Steve’s gaze unwaveringly. “I’ve grown to care for her deeply. I want her to be happy, and I want to be the one making her happy.” 

Steve narrowed his eyes slightly, searching for any sign of deceit in Peter’s face. After finding none, he let out a slow breath. “Alright,” his tone grudgingly accepting. “But, understand this: if you hurt her, I’ll be your biggest fucking nightmare.” 

Peter nodded again, undeterred by Steve’s demeanor. “I understand, and I wouldn’t expect anything less,” he replied calmly. 

~

As the evening wore on, the previous tension gradually dissolved, replaced by a sense of cautious optimism. Steve seemed to ease as he engaged further in conversation with Peter, discussing everything from photography to history, and Steve even got him talking about motorcycles. 

The clock ticked past midnight, signaling the end of the evening, Steve rose from his seat and began readying himself to leave. You walked him to the door, a newfound sense of relief washed over you noe that the meeting was ending. 

Before he stepped out into the apartment building, he turned to face you. “You know,” he began, softening his expression. “I actually do like him.” 

A smile tugged at the corners of your lips. “Really?” you asked, a weight lifting from your shoulders. 

He nodded, “Yeah,” he continued to confirm, a smile played on his lips. “He seems like a good guy.” 

“Thank you, Stevie,” you said, your voice thick with emotion. “That means a lot to me.”

Steve pulled you into another brief hug, embracing you in his warmth and reassurance. “Just looking out for my little sister,” he murmured.  

As he stepped out, you couldn't help but feel a sense of hope blooming within you.

---

Series Masterlist | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

[burningcheese-merchant]

BurningCheese/GoldenSpice Playlist

Ok, time to stop being a bitch and post the ship playlist I keep harping on about already.

Gonna mark each song with an emoji to signify if it's meant to either be Burning Spice's POV (🔺) or Golden Cheese's (🧀). It's also going to be band/singer name first, song name second, for ease of understanding

Thank you to everyone who's reached out to me, both on here and on AO3, with song suggestions! A good chunk of these came from me myself, but a lot of people introduced me to plenty more songs that I loved and agreed suited these two perfectly. It's been fun putting a playlist together with this help, it feels like a fun group project now lol. (Hell, you guys are actually helping me think of new writing material. Music is a huge source of inspiration and creativity for me, as I'm sure you've noticed. In a way, you're all indirectly making fic requests lol)

You're all still more than welcome to keep shooting me song ideas to add, the playlist is ever-expanding! I'll just come back to this post and edit any new additions in. (This playlist is 3x longer than my PitayaFire one. I need you all to understand how big of a deal that is for me personally. I never thought I'd be this down bad for a ship besides that one. It's fucking surreal)

Some of it is meant to sound one-sided, others like it's a mutual love/relationship. I'll let you guess which is which lol. Now rock out to Evil Spice Man x Pretty Cheese Lady with me 🤘🤘🤘

Mindless Self Indulgence - Shut Me Up🔺

Fall Out Boy - I Don't Care🔺(with the Wild Spice crew as the backup singers!!!)

Mariah Carey - Obsessed 🧀

Three Days Grace - I Hate Everything About You🔺🧀

Lady Gaga - Bad Romance🔺🧀

Dead or Alive - You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)🔺

Mindless Self Indulgence - What Do They Know?🔺

Britney Spears - Toxic 🧀

Fish in a Birdcage - Rule #34🔺(this is also a great PureShadow song ngl. It's how it was first introduced to me, even lol)

Shayfer James - Filthy Habit🔺

King Gnu - SPECIALZ🔺🧀 (look up the English version of the lyrics. Very BurningCheese-core imo)

Mindless Self Indulgence - This Hurts🔺

Jack Black - Peaches🔺(shout out to the anon in my inbox who suggested this. Joke's on them, I had this on the playlist right from the start lolololololol)

Arctic Monkeys - R U Mine?🔺

Lady Gaga - Poker Face 🧀

Olly Murs (feat. Flo Rida) - Troublemaker 🧀

Rihanna - Where Have You Been🔺(fun fact: I had this playing on a loop as I wrote "Our Little Dance" to get into the Yandere Spice mindset lol)

Lady Gaga - Judas 🧀

Miike Snow - Genghis Khan🔺

The Orion Experience - Obsessed With You🔺(this song is just really funny. You can probably apply it to all Beast x Ancient ships tbh)

Nine Inch Nails - Closer🔺

Mindless Self Indulgence - 5TR82HE11🔺

Air Traffic Controller - This Is Love🔺

Bad Omens - THE DEATH OF PEACE OF MIND🔺🧀

Isabel LaRosa - favorite 🧀

Bloodhound Gang - The Bad Touch🔺(listen I imagined Spice singing this to Golden and just started howling with laughter, it's fucking hysterical ok)

ENHYPEN - Bite Me🔺

Scissor Sisters - I Can't Decide🔺(GC would sing a few parts tho)

5 Seconds of Summer - Teeth🔺🧀 (mostly Spice though)

Buerak - Культ Тела 🔺(look up English lyrics, very Yandere Spice coded. Thank you to the anon who suggested it)

Tom Lehrer - The Masochism Tango🔺

Lady Gaga - Disease 🧀

G-Eazy (with Halsey) - Him & I🔺🧀

Britney Spears - ...Baby One More Time🔺(imagine Spice singing this while stuck in prison. Please. He's singing and the other Beasts want to off themselves because it's so annoying and he won't stop. Please it is so funny. I have so much fun imagining this freak acting stupid-)

[kathlare]

emails i can't send

Lando Norris x Amelie Dayman

Summary: Lando picks up Luisinha from the airport, but an unspoken tension lingers between them. As Amelie’s debut album emails i can't send dominates conversations online, Luisinha struggles with the media’s obsession over Lando and Amelie’s past.

Wordcount: 1.3 k

Warnings: none

full masterlist // request over here!

July 15th, 2022 - London, United Kingdom

liked by alexwolffofficial, jackdayman, and others

ameliedayman: emails i can't send is out now 💌

this feels really surreal, i kind of had to unlearn myself and learn myself again in order to make this album. it's the one i'm most proud of thus far in my life. it's the one i hope you listen to and feel like we were hanging and confiding in each other for an hour. me and the mic were like this the whooole time 🤞🏼 i never thought i would finish it because it was really scary to close the chapter. but i closed it so you can open it! and i hope you do. and i hope you love it. the way i have for so long.

couldn't have made it without some of the most special souls 🤍

rant over for nooow please stream this shit a lot if u don't mind it took me years to make lol

View all 921 comments

maddieziegler: Just finished listening and I’m SOBBING 😭👏 → ameliedayman: @maddieziegler Same, but in a happy way! 💌

stelladayman: Proud of you more than words can explain. Can't stop crying. → ameliedayman: @stelladayman Love you sis 💖

pitstoptea: THIS ALBUM DESERVES A GRAMMY, NO QUESTION.

hayesgrier: BANGERS ONLY. Can't believe this is YOUR voice, holy shit. → ameliedayman: @hayesgrier I'm still processing it too LOL! 😅

georgerussell63: My playlist just got a serious upgrade 🔥 → ameliedayman: @gerogerussell63 Glad you approve!! 😏🔥

pitstopgossip: Amelie’s growth is unmatched. I’m addicted to every track.

charles_leclerc: You did it, you absolute legend. This is what dreams are made of. → ameliedayman: @charles_leclerc Feeling like a dream, appreciate you so much 🖤

taylorswift: I knew this would be perfection. So proud of you. → ameliedayman: @taylorswift Coming from you, I’m crying 💖

emmachamberlain: Just played it from start to finish, it’s everything. → ameliedayman: @emmachamberlain THANK YOU for the love, it means so much!! 💖

nikki_kaz: Honestly, we didn’t deserve this album, but I’m so glad we got it.

-------------

Lando pulled into the airport parking lot, the familiar hum of his car a dull background noise to the swarm of thoughts buzzing in his mind. His relationship with Luisinha had been going smoothly lately—at least, it seemed that way on the surface. The media frenzy surrounding his past with Amelie had faded for the most part, but there was still the occasional article, the comments, the whispers. Lando hadn’t really paid attention to any of it. Until now.

Today, Amelie’s debut album, emails i can't send, had dropped. He hadn’t listened to it yet, but he couldn’t escape the chatter. Fans, journalists—everyone had been speculating about which songs were about him. The whole thing was uncomfortable. Lando had tried to avoid it, but he had the sinking feeling that it was about to be front and center again.

He spotted Luisinha as she exited the terminal, her hair catching the sunlight, her small frame moving through the crowd with the grace that always seemed to make heads turn. She was smiling as she waved at him, but there was something off about the way her eyes met his.

Lando parked and jumped out of the car, walking towards her. She had always been the kind of person who carried herself with confidence, but today, there was something subdued about her.

—Hey,— Lando said, greeting her with a quick kiss on the cheek. He noticed how she seemed to stiffen, almost imperceptibly, but didn’t think much of it at first.

—Hey,— she replied, forcing a smile. But there was something in her voice that caught his attention. It was quiet, distant.

They both climbed into the car, the awkward silence between them settling in. Lando tried to make small talk, asking her how her flight was, but she didn’t seem to be in the mood for conversation. She stared out of the window, her lips pressed together, clearly not paying attention to anything he was saying.

Lando couldn't ignore the tension that seemed to hang in the air. He glanced at her a few times as he navigated the streets, trying to figure out what was going on. Luisinha had always been easy to talk to, but today, something was different. She was distant, her usually warm presence almost cold.

He exhaled, glancing over at her again. —You okay?— he asked, trying to keep his tone light.

Luisinha didn’t immediately answer, but she shifted in her seat, adjusting her legs as if she were uncomfortable. Finally, after a long silence, she spoke, her voice quieter than usual. —Yeah, I’m fine. Just tired from the flight. Nothing to worry about.—

Lando frowned, unconvinced. He knew her well enough to know that something was off, and the more she brushed it off, the more frustrated he became. —Don’t lie to me, Lu. I can tell you’re not okay. What’s going on?— he pressed.

She let out a small, almost defeated sigh, before turning to face him. Her lips parted as if she were about to speak, but she hesitated, the words caught in her throat.

Lando’s patience wore thin. —Look, I know something’s up. Just tell me.—

Luisinha's fingers gripped the edge of her seat as she finally spoke, her voice cracking slightly. —It’s just… all this shit with Amelie, Lando.—

He shot her a glance, not fully understanding. —What do you mean?—

Her eyes flashed, her brow furrowing. —The media. The fucking fans. They’re still talking about you two. I thought it was over, but now with her album out, fuck, now it’s even worse. Everyone’s fucking speculating about the songs. Everyone’s saying they’re about you.—

Lando’s grip on the steering wheel tightened, his knuckles going white. He knew where this was going, but he couldn’t hold back his irritation. —I can’t control what people say or what they think, Luisinha. You know that. I don’t care about the fucking rumors.—

Luisinha’s face flushed with frustration. —But I do! It’s not like I can just ignore it! It’s everywhere! The fucking media’s obsessed with you two, and I can’t fucking stand it!— Her voice was getting louder, more agitated. —I’m supposed to just sit here while people talk about how you two were this perfect couple? When I know you were with her, when I know how things were between you two?—

Lando exhaled sharply, his jaw tightening. He felt the anger bubbling up inside him. —I never asked for this. I never asked for them to keep bringing her up! I’m not the one who fucking wrote the album!— He slammed his hand on the steering wheel, making the car jerk slightly.

Luisinha recoiled, her face paling. Her eyes flickered with hurt. —You didn’t have to do anything. You were a part of her life, and now she’s putting it all out there. It’s like I don’t even matter to you because this is still hanging over us!— She shook her head in disbelief, her voice quieter now, but no less hurt. —You don’t even seem to care that it’s making me uncomfortable. That it’s making me feel like shit. That it’s making me feel like I’m just another footnote in your fucking history.—

Lando’s anger flared, and he didn’t hold back. —It’s not my fucking fault she decided to put all this shit out there, okay? I’m not the one who’s still stuck on the past! It’s not like I fucking planned for any of this to happen, but here we are. Deal with it. I’m not gonna apologize for her album or for whatever people want to think!— His words hung in the air, harsh and biting.

Luisinha went silent. The hurt in her eyes was clear, but it only seemed to make her angrier. She turned her head away from him, staring out of the window, her lip trembling slightly. The tension in the car was suffocating.

After a long silence, she finally spoke, her voice low and strained. —I don’t want to be here right now. Drop me off at a hotel, Lando. I can’t be with you like this.—

Lando felt a pang of guilt, but it was quickly overshadowed by frustration. —Lu, come on, don’t do this. I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just—shit, I don’t know what you want me to say! It’s not like I can fix any of this, okay?— He was pleading now, his voice softer, but the damage had already been done.

Luisinha shook her head, her tone firm. —No. Just take me to the hotel. I need some space. You need some space. We’ll talk when I’m not so fucking pissed off. Right now, I just… I can’t.—

Lando’s heart sank. He wasn’t used to this—the coldness, the distance, the anger. He wanted to fix it, but everything he said only seemed to make it worse. The way she was looking at him, like she couldn’t even stand to be in the same car as him, made him sick to his stomach.

He didn’t argue. With a heavy sigh, he turned the car in the direction of the nearest hotel. The silence between them was almost unbearable. Lando couldn’t help but replay the argument in his head, wishing he could take back the things he’d said. But it was too late now.

When they finally arrived at the hotel, Luisinha didn’t wait for him to open the door. She got out of the car on her own, slamming the door behind her before walking briskly toward the entrance. Lando stayed in the car, watching her leave, his heart aching in a way that he hadn’t felt in a long time.

He didn’t want to feel like this. He didn’t want to have this fight. He just wanted things to be normal again.

But nothing felt normal anymore. Not with Luisinha. Not with Amelie.

Lando sat there for a long moment, the weight of everything pressing down on him. Finally, he pulled out his phone, his thumb hovering over Amelie’s number. But he didn’t call. He didn’t text. Instead, he opened up the playlist for emails i can't send.

Maybe he needed to hear it.

Maybe he needed to remember.

But he didn’t know how much more he could take.

-------------

[honeytama]

Make Your Move - Chapter 2

Noah Sebastian x Reader x Matt Dierkes

Fic Masterlist

A/N: If you left a comment on Ch. 1, I love you so much <3 If you’d like to join the tag list, lmk!

Fic Summary: Having known Matt for a year already, he knows your talents and hires you as his assistant for Bad Omens' upcoming tour. You’ve had a crush on Matt, your friend, and now boss. However, his good friend and your celebrity crush, Noah, takes a liking to you the second you step through the door. What happens when your feelings develop? What happens when they find out? You only hope your heart doesn’t break trying to care for two others.

Content and Warnings for Ch. 2: Fluff, some smut 18+, stress/anxiety, alcohol, masturbation, praise kink, close proximity

Word Count: 3.4k

Tag List: @flowery-mess @abiomens @exitwoundsx @lma1986 @thatchickwiththecamera @narcissisticbehavior81 @xxkittenkissesxx @rain-down-on-me @doomhands-jr @justdamnpeachy (For tags that aren't working, I’ll try to put you in my replies)

The bus traveled for a day before it ended up at the tour’s first venue at dawn. The first bus sleep went smoother than expected as the morning wore you out.

You spent the extra travel time getting more familiar with the boys; chatting with them on the leather couches about their favorite music, hobbies, and their favorite foods. This was important as you were in charge of doing food runs and taking orders for dinners every show night.

The times you weren’t laughing it up with them or hanging out with Matt. You sat by the bus windows to focus on your many hobbies: crocheting, drawing, reading books, listening to music, and making playlists. It was surreal to watch the world whizz by as you sat alone in peace.

Although, you couldn’t help but feel an ache in your stomach thinking about your first show as assistant tour manager.

Matt was your friend, but now that you worked for him you felt as if you couldn’t talk to him about your anxiety about the first show.

For now, you brush those thoughts off your shoulders as you step off the bus into the alley behind the venue.

—

Nevertheless, the next sixteen hours gave you a headache. The guys helped you and the crew unload the trailers and help set up the stage for sound check by noon.

Matt set up the sound booth on his own in front of house, while you helped instruct the crew on how to set up the show production: confetti cannons, pyro, lighting, and video walls.

The guys did their sound check as you ran out to grab a small dinner for everyone. It was the easiest part of the day because they decided they wanted nuggets and fries.

By 6 pm, fans were entering the venue and patiently waiting for the opening band to perform.

Before and throughout the opener’s set, you were consistently running errands and making sure everything was set up perfectly for all the guys. However, every time you would try to catch Matt to ask him for help, he’d brush you off and say, “I know you’ve got this on your own. Don’t sweat it.”

Every. Time.

You loved him, but boy, was he going to hear it from you tonight.

How could he do this? The first night, even? You thought, angrily.

Luckily, the opener’s set went without a hitch and you felt somewhat proud.

Yet, the most unfortunate part of the night is the beginning of Bad Omens’ set. Being a fan for years, you had waited so long to watch them live, and you thought tonight would be even more special knowing how you affected their production. But, by the time the boys began Artificial Suicide, you feel a pain in your temple and a blanket of exhaustion drape over your body.

Side stage, you frown and make your way to the Bad Omens green room. You allow your body to rest and collapse onto the brown leather couch. The urge to allow your tears to fall and scream into the pillow is severe, but you hold it back.

I’ll get to see them tomorrow, you repeatedly think like a mantra as you close your eyes and fall asleep.

—

“Y/N?” Your name sounds like a whisper in your dream.

“Y/N, wake up, it’s time to go,” Noah says softly.

Your eyes slowly open. He stands beside the couch and your lying body with a folded towel and clothes in his hands. His hair is wet with sweat and his chest glistening in his black tank.

“Oh, my God. Noah,” you frown, “I’m so sorry.” You sit up and rub your eyes.

“What for?” he asks, concerned.

“I missed your set! It’s the first show and I missed it,” you cry out with your hands covering your face.

“It’s okay, Y/N. It’s okay. You’ll get to see us tomorrow,” Noah says soothingly.

“I would’ve taken a nap too, Y/N, today felt so long,” Jolly says from behind him.

“See? No worries. Did you get some good rest at least?” Noah asks genuinely.

“Yeah, I think I feel better,” you stand up and stretch your back.

“Well, that’s good,” he smiles, “because we’re going to have a little post-first show celebration if you’re interested?”

Your heart flutters at his invitation. “That sounds nice. I’m down.”

“It won’t be much, but we want to wind down before going to bed,” he explains. “We’re all going to go get showered and meet you on the bus in fifteen, sounds good?”

“Yeah, I might as well change into my pajamas while you guys are cleaning up,” you suggest.

Noah nods and you follow them out of the room to walk towards the back door of the venue. It’s dark out now and you can see some fans still trickling out of the venue as you walk to the bus.

Once inside, you run into Matt getting undressed to his underwear. You knew he never liked sleeping with clothes on, but the sight still made your thighs clench.

“Matt, can we talk?” You ask cautiously.

“Hey, sleepy,” Matt teases. “Could we in the morning? I’m drained,” he climbs into his bunk.

“Sure,” you yield. “Goodnight, Matt.”

“Night night,” he says, closing the curtain.

Tonight felt like such a bummer, but you wouldn't let it keep you down. In the small pile of clothes in your bunk, you choose a cute pair of pajamas to wear for the impromptu “celebration”. There are cute, sexy clothes even, that you brought just in case, but Noah didn't seem to care that you wanted to feel more comfortable this evening. You felt confident there would be at least one night on tour that you could whip out the mini skirt, but tonight isn't it.

Once dressed, you waited at the dining table at the front of the bus to scroll through your phone. Your leg bounced up and down as you considered opening Twitter to read the responses from fans for tonight’s show. Nonetheless, you thought it best to wait until the morning after talking with Matt.

��Who’s ready to drink?” Folio sings as the bus door is pulled open.

You laugh as he realizes only you and a sleeping Dierkes are aboard.

“They’re still showering?” He asks you, whining.

“I’m down to do a shot with you,” you suggest. “I need it after today.”

“I’m not a big fan of shots, but let’s do it,” he shrugs.

Folio walks over to the cabinet above the sink and grabs the bottle of Tito’s. The fridge below him is opened afterward and he pulls out a can of Sprite and a beer.

“So, how are we celebrating tonight?” You ask as he gets comfortable in the seat across from you.

“Literally just chatting and drinks,” he shrugs, smiling. “We’re pretty lame. None of us are really party guys, but I like to get down from time to time,” he pops open the bottle of Tito’s and pours shots into plastic cups for you and himself. He cracks open a can of Sprite, too. “You wanna share?”

“Sure,” you giggle. You take your cup in hand as you hear the latch of the door click open.

Jolly and Nick enter with their hair wrapped up in towels and Noah has his towel draped over his shoulder.

“Folio,” you say, raising your cup to his eye level, “Arriba.”

“Arriba?” he repeats, holding up his cup.

“Abajo,” you bring the cup to the table with a soft thud.

“Abajo,” he follows suit.

“Al centro,” you say, putting the cup in the middle of the table to encourage him to cheers you.

“Al centro,” he cheers you with a toothy smile.

“Pa' dentro!” You throw your cup back and gulp down the vodka with your eyes shut tight. Before Folio realizes, you grab the can of Sprite to chase down the bitter taste in your mouth.

“Pa' dentro!” He downs his shot and smacks the table with his fist. “Hey, give me that shit!” Folio sputters reaching for the can.

You throw your head back and laugh as Folio gulps down half the can of Sprite before you.

“You two having fun?” Jolly smiles while taking his hair down from the towel.

“So much fun,” Folio coughs. “You want one?” He raises the Tito’s bottle to Jolly.

“I’ll stick with the beer,” Jolly replies before heading toward the bus restroom.

“Same,” Nick adds and takes a seat across from Folio on the opposite wall of the bus on the long, black couch.

Noah, who’s now wearing Bad Omens joggers and an oversized white t-shirt, takes a seat next to Nick.

“Are those your pajamas, Noah? Those pants look so comfy,” you gush.

“Actually,” he laughs, “I usually just sleep in my underwear.” His cheeks turn the familiar shade of pink you witnessed just days before. “But for this tour, I thought I should cover up to show some respect to you as our guest,” he smiles.

“Oh! I don’t mind—,” you start, but you cut off when you see Folio and Nick’s lips turn up into shit-eating grins. “I mean,” you begin again, “Matt always sleeps naked when he sleeps over at my place, so I know, you know…” You wave your hands around the front of your shorts.

“She wants you to take your pants off, Noah,” Nick says, bluntly.

“Nick,” Noah and you groan before making eye contact, luckily you both can laugh it off.

Folio passes out beer to Nick, and to Jolly when he returns. You spend the next hour talking and laughing together while drinking, but Noah chooses to stay sober. You have about two and a half shots total— the other half of your shot being downed by Folio for you.

Through the hour, you couldn’t help but notice Noah talking with his hands and then brushing through his drying hair. His smile, which made you watch his lips when he talked, and his laugh, which sounded like a song. Every moment you spent around him, you grew more infatuated.

Nick checks the time, “I think it’s time for me to head to bed.”

“Yeah,” Jolly said, standing from his seat. “Folio, you coming?”

“Sure, I'll hit the hay,” he says. “Goodnight you two.” The three men follow each other to their bunks and head to sleep.

You twiddle your thumbs as you’re left alone with Noah at the front of the bus.

“You're not tired?” He asks you.

“I just took a two-hour-long nap,” you laugh, slightly embarrassed.

“Makes sense,” he shrugs.

“You?” You ask back.

“My adrenaline from the show makes it hard to sleep sometimes,” he responds. “I’ll go to sleep when you do.”

“Nice,” you reply and the conversation trails off again.

Noah clears his throat, “The show was great, by the way.”

You look up to meet his eyes, “It was?”

“Everything went off without a hitch. I don’t mean to do it, but I checked Twitter after my shower. Everyone gave us high praise. I just wish you could’ve seen it yourself,” he smiles.

“I didn’t even know you still had the app downloaded,” you say, surprised.

“I rarely do it,” Noah says. “I just thought you would want to know. I checked for you.”

“Thanks,” you smile and absentmindedly kick your legs. “It’s crazy being on this bus with you guys, by the way,” you admit. “I feel like I need to pinch myself to make sure it’s real.”

“Trust me, it’s real,” he laughs. “You deserve to be here. Matt, me and you, we made this thing happen,” he opens his arms to the air.

“I hope it’s not weird for you that I’m a fan,” you say cautiously.

“No, I think it makes things interesting,” he smirks.

You nearly choke and your face burns at his remark. “You know what? I think I’m ready for bed,” you sell it with a fake yawn and stand from the couch.

“Of course,” he gets up and suddenly you're standing right in front of him. Noah stands nearly a foot taller than you and he looks down at you with darkness in his eyes.

You give him a sheepish smile and turn to walk to the bunks.

You feel Noah’s warmth as he follows closely behind. His eyes feel like lasers on your legs as you climb up to your bunk.

“Goodnight, Y/N,” Noah says softly.

“Goodnight, Noah,” you give him one final smile before quickly closing your bunk’s curtain.

How the fuck were you supposed to last a month around him? You think, shutting your eyes.

—

The next morning, Folio and you eat cereal across one another at the dining table. You had a restful night's sleep as the bus stayed stagnant to play a second show at the same venue from the night before.

“Mornin’, Folio,” you hear Matt’s voice come up from the bunk section of the bus. He walks up to you ready for the day in a new set of clothes and his charming Bad Omens baseball cap, as usual. “Y/N, can we talk?” he asks, cautiously, just like you asked last night.

You swallow your pride in wanting to respond like a brat and just nod.

Matt has you follow him outside to the side of the bus. “Will you go on a walk with me?”

You nod again and walk beside him around the perimeter of the venue.

“So, for starters, Y/N, I’m sorry,” he says.

“Matt,” you try to interrupt.

“Genuinely, you don’t deserve to be treated like I did to you yesterday,” he continues with a hand on his chest. “I was an asshole and I left you hanging on your first day on the job,” he admits.

“Thank you for saying sorry,” you say quietly.

“I think I had a bit of nerves for the first show but, that doesn't matter,” he admits. “If it's any consolation, I meant what I said. ‘I know you've got this on your own.’ I believe in you and you did it like I knew you would. You helped put on a banger of a show last night,” he shrugs his shoulders.

You laugh softly, amused by his rare moment of openness. “You’re such a sweetie,” you teasingly pull at his shirt.

“Blegh, yeah, yeah,” he shoves your hand away. “So, today, I was thinking I could help you throughout all your tasks today. I’ll be by your side the entire time. I’ll even go with you to pick up dinner,” he assures. “Then later tonight, for Bad Omens’ set, come and hang out with me in the sound deck?”

“Oh!” Your cheeks flush. “Thank you, I would love that,” you smile.

“Great,” he breathes out and his shoulders relax. “Let’s get today started.”

–

Matt stuck to his promise and this evening felt so much more nice. He took a Lyft with you to pick up Mexican food and just followed you around to all the different tasks you needed to get done before Bad Omen’s set. You felt like a badass stomping around the venue with him by your side. Both of you with walkie-talkies on your hips and facilitating the crew.

When he wasn't looking, you’d smile up at him and imagine a life where you two were doing this together, always. You daydreamed about being another power couple in the metalcore music industry.

Fifteen minutes before Bad Omens’ set, you stepped into the fenced-off section of the sound deck. You watch as he finalizes his setup as you sit in the fold-out chair he set up just for you.

“Now, we wait,” he says, sitting next to you.

“Matt, would it be unprofessional if I just screamed all the words to their songs?” You ask him, holding in your excitement.

“As your friend, I will silently judge you,” he laughs. “As your boss… just don't scream in my ear, okay?”

“Okay,” you nod vigorously.

The two of you chat until Matt gives the signal for you to stand. You fight the urge to bounce on your toes during the intro to Artificial Suicide, but it happens anyway.

Once the song starts, the crowd fades away, leaving just you and the music.

You jump, sing, and dance throughout the show while also sneaking glances over at Matt working. If there was one other person to run through the setlist as much as Noah and Matt, it was you. Matt times the pyrotechnic and CO2 cannon cues perfectly; the same cues you noted for him during rehearsals. The confetti cannons went off on time and you watched as other fans grabbed at the air for a souvenir. Lastly, the lighting and video looked spectacular; you held your hands to your chest in awe at some moments, and at other times you could feel tears well up in your eyes.

Then, there was Noah. His performance is unmatched. Goosebumps raised on your arms and neck when he screamed, gave clean vocals, and pretty much everything else he did. You couldn’t help but blush watching him flex his biceps with a mic in his hand once he was down to his tank top.

As you reach the end of their last song, Dethrone, Matt turns to try to say something to you.

“I can't hear you,” you yell over the music.

He tries to repeat himself, but gives up and steps into your space. With his chest right up against your shoulder, he leans in close to your ear, and says, “Look how fucking good you did. I’m so proud of you.”

“What?” You say, not that you couldn’t hear him, rather he shocked you dumb. A lightning bolt formed in your stomach and shot straight in between your thighs.

Matt brushes your hair and tucks it behind your ear, “I’m so glad you're here as my assistant. You’re doing so well for me.”

—

Later that night, you lie awake, tossing and turning in bed thinking about Matt’s words.

“Look how fucking good you did.”

“You’re doing so well for me.”

Even though Matt made it his life’s purpose to make you squirm with his constant flirtations, you doubted him to know that these words would affect you in this way.

Fuck Matt. Fuck him for praising me after he was a jerk for a day. Fuck him for making me squirm under his touch. Fuck his no masturbation bus rule, you think.

I want to fuck him.

Frustrated, you pull your sleep shorts to your ankles, careful not to mess with the curtain separating you from Noah’s bunk.

With one hand, your fingers rub your clit in circles over your panties, while your other hand squeezes your breast.

You softly close your eyes, and touch yourself to your imagination:

“My good little assistant,” Matt cooes. “When are you going to let me use your toys on you? I know they’re in your bag.”

Your fingers clasp your nipples roughly while you adjust your other hand to move your panties to the side. You gather your arousal and trace rings around your pussy in relief.

“Matt,” a familiar voice overtakes your imagination. “You meant us, right?” Noah comes into view.

“Noah,” you silently moan. Why’d he have to make things so complicated? You think.

“Complicated?” He scoffs. “I’m just here to make things interesting,” Noah says darkly, taking the palm vibrator from Matt and buzzing it on. He brings it to your clit as Matt presses the head of your dildo into your needy hole.

On accident, you let out a squeak, and your hand shoots from your breast to your mouth to cover it. Scared of them hearing you, you resistantly remove your fingers from yourself and pull your shorts back on.

You roll your eyes, frustrated still, and flip onto your side to try to sleep, hoping the Sandman will at least grant you a wet dream tonight.

[soobibabe]

pairings: jeon jungkook + reader trope: best friends to lovers genre ▸ fluff , college au wc: 744 synopsis(?): baking with your best friend leads dancing in the kitchen which leads to something sweet and unexpected.

"I can't believe you were gonna prepare all this on your own" Jungkook says in a breath, looking over to you beside him while your gaze remains on the oven light, admiring the cookies the two of you made - flatten out on the tray.

"It's not a big deal, really, i did this often back home during the holidays for my family. Although, I do appreciate your help." you returned his smile, finally facing him.

"Anytime," his ears perked up and his eyes widened upon hearing the next song that came on the playlist he had shuffling in the background. "I haven't heard this song in ages!" he grins impossibly wider.

His next move is what caught you off guard. He extends his arm, gesturing for you to hold it, reeling you into him when you finally catch on.

"Have you ever slow danced, y/n?" he asks, taking half of a step back to meet your face.

Your cheeks heat up, you're unable to hide the blush that burns through you. It's not like you weren't used to Jungkook's embrace, he was naturally flirty - and touchy, so you were used to it, but overtime as your feelings for him crossed the fine line between platonic and romantic, it's become harder for you to suppress how just deeply you yearn for him in moments like these.

"Not really, but I have a fair idea how to" you force yourself to respond after having your words get stuck in your throat from your nerves engulfing you.

'Can't Help Falling In Love With You' by Elvis Presley plays in the background.

When you look up, you're met with eyes that hold a thousand stars within them, staring right back at you. Jungkook maneuvers your arms around his neck and places his on the handles of your hips, swaying your bodies gently.

He sings along to the song softly, and you think he's never looked more angelic. It feels like you're living out a scene in a romantic film.

"You're stunning, y/n. Have I ever told you that before?" he states, then inquires. "Many times, Jeon" you're quick to reply. "Thank you. You're quite handsome yourself"

Youre still dancing along to the song, but after the compliment, he twirls you around and draws you back into his arms.

"Can I do something that I shouldn't really do as your best friend?" jungkook smoothly moves the strands that adorned the sides of your face behind your ear.

"Please" you whisper.

His lips crash into yours upon the first decibel of your confirmation.

It's a kiss that omits the feeling of longing. It's delicate, yet full of passion. As if he'd been waiting his whole life to do it. No, like it was his sole purpose.

When you kiss back he feels like he's in nirvana.

You both break the kiss with a gasp for air, giggling at how stupid it is that you waited 4 years to finally do this.

"I love you" he moves his hands to each side of your face, "I've loved you since the moment we became friends" he confesses as the song begins to fade to the next.

"It might sound stupid but I was afraid to lose you so I never told you how I felt but I can't live a day longer where you are not mine"

You're awestruck by the sudden confession coming from the man before you whom you'd been in love with since freshman year of college.

"I love you too, Kook."

"God, can I kiss you again? I'm sorry, hearing you say that makes this feel more surreal, almost like a dream" his typical cocky act is dropped, he's just as nervous as you are. You nod, tip-toeing to kiss him this time.

"I'm yours from now on, y/n. You're stuck with me forever now" he whispers sweetly with his forehead against yours.

"Until forvever falls apart" you whisper back, causing the taller figure to reach down and shower you in kisses -- until he's interrupted by the sound of the oven timer blaring through the room.

"Stupid cookies." he sulks as he pulls away to take them out of the oven, and you chuckle at his ability to be adorable unintentionally.

"You'll take that back when they're in your mouth." you tease.

"You'll take teasing me back when I'm in your mouth." Jungkook retorts, unphased by the dirtiness of his words while you're left speechless.

A/N - first fluff kinda nervy

[babylon-cal]

I Need To Feel Needed {a.k}

Pairing: Awsten Knight x Fem! Reader Warnings: Smut Summary: Just him fucking you, really. Word Count: 1.4k A/N: I just got too consumed with my thoughts after seeing edits of awsten on tiktok. So enjoy. 

[Requests for Awsten are now: Open]

He pulled away, the warmth of his body lingering as he slid his hands down to your thighs. He pulled out slowly, and you felt empty without him. You whined causing him to chuckle. His faded mint fringe had begun separating from the sweat, and his breaths had become shallower.

He lifted your thighs pushing them slightly against your chest, knees just above your shoulders. You felt your juices squeeze out of you in anticipation of what was to come. Awsten leaned in and kissed you, your tongues meeting briefly. He hummed as he broke the kiss.

“You're so fucking gorgeous, like this, fuck,” he whispered before you felt him fill you again, going in all the way. Your calves rested on his shoulders now. You whined at the feeling, clenching around him. You gripped his arms, your manicured nails - that matched his hair making small indents in his biceps. Hearing how pretty you sounded for him, with your cunt hugging his dick, drove him insane. 

This man loved you so much. With all the craziness, and with all the chaos - everything that he’s had to endure with his lifestyle - you remained by his side, greeting him with a warm grin and a loving embrace. Even when he tried to self sabotage everything you had built together and even when he did and said some of the weirdest things known to mankind- you still thought he was the funniest man you’ve ever met. That meant more than something to him. You were always there and getting to be with you like this, your shared playlist playing softly in the background, so far being muffled out by your noises and the mood lighting set up so meticulously by him just minutes ago - it was everything he could ever want. 

He didn't hesitate to begin thrusting into you harder, going all the way in each time, his pelvis smacking your thighs. He let out occasional grunts as he assiduously worked on you, heightening your arousal.  You could barely control yourself, becoming  a mess underneath him. There was something so magical about Awsten that entranced you in his presence. From the moment you met, locking eyes for just a moment, something in you knew. He’s someone you could never get enough of. Every stupid thing that came out of his mouth, all his antics, all the videos he would send you on tour - whether he was nearly getting into trouble in public, or to say he missed you in the middle of the night - you wanted it all. 

“You're so good at taking me, baby, you're doing so good, fuck, fuck, keep going,” He started going faster, still bottoming out each time. He needed you to feel every inch of him, so much that your body memorised his. He wanted you to feel every throb and every vein. Deeply. Wholly. For all the weeks he was away, having to settle for video calls, he so miserably craved the feeling of you and being so deep inside you, your eyes never leaving each other made up for all those lost moments where only the fantasies of you occupied his mind. 

“Fuck, Awsten” you moaned out. His lips that were centimeters away from yours now moved to your ear. 

“I know, baby, I know,” The way he spoke to you, especially when you were so undone from him brought you to surreal levels of pleasure. You continuously clenched around him, causing him to let out moans and a string of swears as he pumped into you. He slowed down, going to torturously gentle, deep strokes, your bodies jerking as he thrust into your gspot. “Don't I fit so perfectly inside you, baby? Don't I? Tell me. Tell me how perfect I fit inside you,”

He knew how you felt, but he wanted to hear how pathetic and senseless you sounded saying those words. He needed it. He wanted you to tell him there was no one else who could fuck you this good. That only he can. That you were made for each other. 

“Y-you’re so p-perfect inside me Awsten,” you managed to splutter out, breathlessly. “You’re so fucking deep, please keep going, please” you begged out, and god, he really wanted to, but you sounded so beautiful, he needed more. He needed you to need him. His slow thrusts came to a halt, he was now just inside you, the tip of his cock, pressed ever so slightly against your g-spot. It was driving you wild. “Please, baby, please,” you whined out. Awsten didn't budge. He kept his face buried in your neck, pressing kisses onto the skin. What a sick bastard. He wanted more and he let out a deep chuckle as his hands now caressed your waist and hips, moving across your stomach to where his thumb started applying pressure on your clit.

He moved his thumb up and down, teasing you, before going in circles. You were a fucking mess. You bit your lip and moaned and Awsten nearly lost control at the sight of you, hair sprawled out across the pillow, looking at him with that desperate, needy look on your face, bent at the waist, your body now glistening with sweat. 

“Tell me, how bad do you want it?,” his voice made you squeeze out more precum, as he continued teasing your clit, you could feel it dripping down from you. “Feels like you want it really badly huh?,” Awsten looked up to gaze into your eyes, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. You only managed to stifle a whimper, your legs still resting on his shoulder. You were so close. So connected. “Baby, you have to ask, use that pretty, gorgeous mouth of yours,” You pushed his fringe upwards with your hand, letting it fall back into place as you combed your fingers through his hair.

“Fuckin- please awsten, I need you so bad, please. I need you to fuck me please, I need you,” 

And that's what he needed, he wasted no time in pounding into you, just as you asked. His moans getting louder, causing him to bite his lip as he slammed into you. You felt the familiar pressure in your lower abdomen, walls clenching quicker around him. 

“I love you,” he breathed out. “I love you so much, I love you so fucking much,” his voice shaking with the movements of his thrusts. You could barely choke out a response with the way he was slamming your brains out. You could only press your nails further into his skin as your vision blurred.  

“Can I cum inside you, baby? Can I?” Awsten spluttered out, his thrusts getting more erratic and sloppy as you both approached your highs.

“Mhm, mhm,” you hopelessly sounded out. “Oh my god, I’m gonna-,” 

“Give it to me, pretty girl,” Awsten twitched inside you and you let go, letting out whimpered cries as you orgasmed, your cum coating Awsten’s dick. He immediately came right inside you, letting out multiple “fucks” and “shit”s. He was warm and his movements slowed as you both breathlessly recovered.

He gave you a passionate kiss and pulled out of you, letting himself fall next to you. You clenched your legs together, feeling some of his cum slowly drip out of you. A comfortable silence filled the room but for his playlist that was coming to an end, as Awsten reached across you to the nightstand, grabbing some tissues and helping you clean up. His touches were gentle, so different from just moments ago. He tossed the tissues in the bin, and laid back down, your sweaty bodies merely inches away from one another.

“Come here,” Awsten turns to you, opening his arms for you to settle in. He pulled you close and you rested one of your hands on his jaw, your eyes meeting. He slowly blinked as he grew more tired, comforted by the warmth of your body flush against his, legs tangled together. He traced stars and hearts on your back as you slowly sunk into his hold. 

You didn't need to say anything, not just from the fact that you were both tuckered out but the intimacy you two shared transcended the need for words. Awsten was a talkative guy, and it was one of the countless things you adored to pieces about him, but in these tender moments, within the safe spaces of your bedroom, there was no need to speak. You connected so divinely. 

The last thing you felt was a soft kiss to the top of your head as you drifted off to sleep.  

[mirror-dimension-dump]

A rewrite of phase 7

(this is just me tossing around ideas, not me saying that the static channel was awful or anything)

Firstly, I CANNOT see Russel or Noodle willingly joining a cult, especially if Murdoc's the head, so most the cult lore will be scrapped.

instead, the original message of blindly stanning celebrities, much like a cult, will be used, this will probably disappoint the LORE bros because this means no more of moonflower, or the whole saving 2d sequence, or the whole forever cult... if the lore has sucked for Gorillaz for the song machine + cracker island i say scrap it

please... no more of weird advertising meta influencer thing they went for, the robot voices, the genericness, them never mentioning the MUSIC OR THE ALBUM??

so instead, the interviews will talk about the music, Russell can talk about the multiple collaborations, Noodle can discuss the meanings behind the songs and the message of the cult-like followings of celebrities and the white-roots of Hollywood, Murdoc and 2D can cover them living in LA and all the behind the scenes inspirations of the music videos, which ARE ALL STAGED NOW, no more mysterious camera and characters not being aware their a band

The music videos for cracker island in my opinion weren't to bad, i liked cracker island with Thundercat, it felt surreal, but still, MUSIC video, yet no instruments being played or clear signs of it being staged. Silent running was my least favorite for sure

a good reference for a better music video is @glowrillaz storyboard of oil; surreal, has a message not related to lore, gives all band members some good screentime

(GO WATCH!!)

that's all I have to say for now, I liked the look of the cult at first, but the execution dropped the ball so bad, here's to hoping they make a great "phase" this year

yet i am not a full hater, here's some stuff i liked

the idea of the short 2d podcast was pretty good, if it didn't talk about the cult stuff and focused more the music or little tid -bits i think it could be great

I liked the "live" performance they did in times square, bit jarring to see them PLAY instruments, I wish Murdoc played bass tho, but still one of my favorite things to come out this phase

(banger song too)

the music in this album was GREAT. Loved oil, skinny apes and most of the album, a decent amount went into my playlists, shame it was paired with the lore.

[stayinyourlehane]

Yesterday I met Dan and Phil and had the BEST time. It's a surreal feeling to meet these two after watching them for almost 10 years. I'm so proud to be a fan! Below is what happened at my m&g if you're interested!

I'm in line and someone is nervous to meet them so I ask them if they'd like me to go first and they say yes. So I'm next and talking to Sarah who is so nice and lovely! If you're nervous and need to be less freaked out talk to her. I walk around the corner and Phil is first and we hug then I hug Dan. They ask how I am and I'm like good. This is the moment I forgot what I was going to say. Thanks to Dan for asking if I'd like them to sign the photos and yes I would! I tell them I met them at this same theatre six years ago for II and loved it but now here we are 2.0 and how were more elevated. Phil and I said elevated at the same time. LOL. I tell them I flew in from DC because Tysons sold out so fast so I was like let's make LA happen again. Then Dan asks if he can take a selfie and I also ask if we can do a little kick. They say sure and ask one of the theatre staff to take it.

When we do the kick Dan just goes we'll kick to the left and OK. I was thinking to the right. All good. And then Phil almost falls on me and we laugh! Then they say enjoy the show and they move on to the next person.

I didn't say everything I wanted to but to see them again on stage was everything. Also jammed out to the pre show playlist which everyone should do. It's a good time. Highly recommend going if you don't have a ticket yet.

[mattlvr03]

Something, Somehow, Someday

Matt Sturniolo

Genre: Soft angst / slow-burn romance

Chapter 64: The Speeches

An ending, and a beginning.

The lights were soft and golden as the reception buzzed around you, tucked beneath the wide white tent strung with warm fairy lights. The night air was crisp but comfortable, the kind of air that made you want to pull your jacket closer and lean in to someone familiar. You were still wrapped in your dress, cheeks pink from laughing and dancing, hand in Matt’s under the table.

It felt surreal. Not in a big way — in a quiet, humbling way. Like the kind of dream you don't want to wake up from because it’s just soft enough to be real.

Dinner plates clinked, laughter echoed, and the DJ played a mellow song in the background while guests picked at their desserts. You were so content you almost didn’t hear the tapping of the glass.

Nick stood, holding a mic, looking a little too smug for someone who’d already been caught crying three separate times.

“I’m gonna keep this short,” he started, eyes flicking between you and Matt. “Because I know Matt’s dying to get out of his tie and probably hasn’t eaten a full meal in the last five hours.”

A few chuckles rippled through the crowd.

“But honestly? This doesn’t feel like the end of something. It feels like the middle of the best part. I’ve known Matt my entire life, and I’ve never seen him like this. Like... grounded. Settled. Full. You gave that to him,” Nick said, looking at you. “You never asked him to be more than he is. You just saw what was already there.”

Matt’s hand tightened around yours.

“I don’t really know how to follow that,” Chris muttered as he took the mic from Nick. “But I’ll try.”

Everyone laughed.

“I used to think people overhyped love — like, the fairytale, movie-ending, soulmate stuff. But then I watched these two, and I realized it’s not about the fireworks. It’s about the small stuff. The way she knows when Matt’s getting overwhelmed before he even says anything. The way he looks at her like he’s still trying to believe this is real. That’s not a movie. That’s love. And we’re all lucky to witness it.”

Matt’s jaw clenched, trying to hold back emotion.

Your best friend stood next — voice a little shaky, eyes glassy — and told a story about the first time you talked about Matt like you didn’t even realize you were falling. About the playlist. The hoodie. The moment you whispered “he makes the world feel quieter.”

The guests laughed and sighed and reached for napkins at all the right moments.

And then Matt stood.

The room hushed immediately.

He didn’t use a mic — just looked out at the people gathered, then down at you.

“I’m not great at this,” he admitted. “But if there’s one thing I want you all to leave here knowing, it’s that I didn’t think I’d ever have this. I didn’t think I’d let myself.”

He looked right at you.

“But then she showed up. And she didn’t try to fix me. She just… stood there. Stayed. Loved me exactly how I am. And I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to return that.”

The tent went quiet for a beat.

Then applause — gentle, full, proud.

The night bled into dancing — slow songs and barefoot steps on the grass, jackets draped over shoulders, your shoes long forgotten under the table. You and Matt stole kisses between dances, shared a piece of cake too small to split, and snuck off for five minutes just to sit under the stars in silence.

Later, Nick found the two of you there and said with a grin, “You know you’re married now, right? You don’t have to sneak around like teenagers anymore.”

Matt just leaned closer to you, kissed the top of your head, and said quietly, “Let me have this moment.”

You sat there until your legs were cold and your eyes felt heavy.

Until the world grew quiet again.

Until all that was left was the sound of your heart, and his, and the life you’d built — slow and imperfect and beautifully real.

The End.

(And the beginning of everything that matters.)

A/N: okay bye im sobbing. I’m gonna miss them so much. Thank you for all the support, I love u guys sm😭

@mattspillowprincess 🤓

[swaps55]

First, thank you for sharing Sam and crew. (Especially Kara and her bots and her cross stitch.)

Second, Mezzo is fantastic and everything I ever wanted from an ME2 fic. Every time I move from ME1 to ME2 the mechanical changes throw me off and you captured that perfectly. Love watching Sam react like an angry cat to everything being Off. Where's his rifle? No that's wrong. (ME2 give me my damn assault rifle! I don't WANT to use a shotgun!) Biotic abilities? Finally got used to the ones in ME1 and now they're different?? Also, Horizon. Yeah you did fix it by making it worse. Ow.

Third, I recently finished my mShenko playthrough and yeah I'm sitting in a puddle of feelings about it. Your playlists are fantastic by the way. Here's my musical contribution: VNV Nation's Electric Sun. The whole thing is good but Before the Rain and At Horizon's End are on my Shep and Kaidan list. Run, Invictus and Sunflare fit Shep. (Sunflare really does also make me think of Sam.)

You made Real Life Romance Option's day with VNV Nation recs; they are one of his favorite bands!!!! I enjoy them too, so I am excited to sit down with this album some more!

Ah, ME2. I will never, ever forget my experience playing it for the first time. ME1 was my first shooter and even my first game with a player-controlled camera. It was such a battle to learn how to play it, then ME2 came around and changed everything. It felt like I was starting from scratch, and it was so discouraging. So I know exactly what you mean, and I did channel a lot of that feeling into Sam. All the rules changed while he was gone, which made him feel even more like a man out of sync.

I am very glad people are largely bought into my belief that to fix Horizon you have to make it worse. The way it's written in the game is such a mess, but not in the way it needed to be a mess. So much about Shepard not reaching out, not contacting old friends, that bizarre greeting on Horizon just feels so forced - plot service rather than character service. But the idea of it is so compelling - why didn't Shepard reach out to the Virmire survivor? Anderson? Why was Horizon such a clusterfuck? How can I make those things feel earned?

It was very rewarding to drill down and really think about what Lazarus looks like from the eyes of anyone outside of Shepard and the Normandy. We're so biased by Shepard's perspective that Lazarus seems like a foregone conclusion. Of course he was dead for two years and brought back to life. We know that to be true. But from the perspective of anyone else - who are in the dark about any and all of it - it's a scenario that wouldn't even enter your thinking.

ANYWAY, this is more than you wanted to hear, so thank you for indulging me. And thank you so much for caring about Opus. It's still surreal that anyone wants to listen to me yap about it!

[autoantonyms]

I’m finally home now so I guess it’s time for my Joker Out Utrecht gig report

- I had to wake up at an ungodly hour to catch my trains and the JO traveling curse really chose to fuck me over that day. My original 3 hour train journey turned into a 6 1/2 hour nightmare of delays and unexpected route changes. In the end I made it and I mean it was totally worth it!!

- i was going alone again and I expected to make new friends (like the last time as well) which I did! I met so many amazing people, finally got to know some of my mutuals and I can‘t wait to see (almost) all of you on Sunday again! 🫶🏻

- the queuing situation was a bit chaotic (GA) and before the doors opened I felt like passing out at one point cause we were all just smushed together and the air was so bad you couldn’t really breathe

- Raciks art looked so small on the big stage but it is so beautiful!

- Lorem Ipsum was so good!! I haven’t really checked them out before hand but I was positively surprised. The singer has a really beautiful voice and she was getting a little emotional seeing the reaction from the crowd, which I thought was so cute. Some of their songs already made it into my playlist. I can only recommend checking them out. (Even tho I have to admit they sound *way* better live)

- JC Stewart was also very entertaining. His voice is so good omg.

- seeing the boys on stage again was just as surreal as the last time but I loved every second of it.

- first of all the outfits. Like Bojans Shirt. With the fucking lipstick stain. I’m deceased (Lets all thank Maike for the beautiful Shirt). Kris very very good fitting pants were also a highlight of the night. And Jure wearing eyeliner again 😩 holy moly

- Bojan sounded so sick. It doesn’t really come off like that in the videos but you could really hear it live.

- The setlist was nice, I got all of my favorites so I can’t really complain. But sadly no Demoni scream and no NGVOT :((

- Kris was actively working against me this time. Everytime I’d taken my phone out to take a video of him, he fucking disappeared and everytime I was just enjoying the show he stood right in front of me. (Baby I need visual reminders that I saw you 😭)

- I enjoyed the prolonged version of UM and it was nice seeing Bojan in the crowd but the only thing going through my mind was: „This man is so short“ But I love my short king <3

- Kris trying to place the dutch flag on his microphone stand was so cute. The way he looked at it to make sure it wasn’t falling off 😩

- Hearing Everybody’s waiting live for the first time really made me emotional af. That was something I was expecting but damn. I can relate to that song way too much, so it hit me hard. Also Bojan asking us something along the lines of „do you also have panic attacks?“ and the crowd went screaming „yeahh“ and he was like „yuhu let’s go panic attacks“ idk I thought that was funny

Overall I‘m very happy that I went to that gig and I can’t wait for Cologne and Munich!

[syrikif]

Gamer Etiquette

Kodzuken x Streamer!Y/N

Pairing: Kenma Kozume x Fem!Reader

Genre: SMAU, Written Elements, Strangers to Lovers, Romance, Fluff, Humor, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Streamer/Youtuber AU

Upcoming content creator/streamer, Y/N, has gone viral for lots of things. Her infamous dumb moments, her blended cookie recipe (which tastes better than it sounds), the way she rages at her friends during games, and about a hundred more.

But her most recent viral moment? Accidentally knocking famous streamer, Kodzuken, off the Bedwars map and making him lose his two year winning streak.

Now with more attention (and hate) than she ever asked for, her only option left is to go to the source: the man himself, Kenma Kozume.

Previous | Masterlist | Next

Chapter 2 (a): Bedwars

Word Count: 2171

“Hey guys,” you smile at your webcam, “How’s everyone’s night been so far?” You adjust to get just a bit more comfortable, wrapping your favorite blanket around your legs as you observe their responses in chat. 

“Oh my god you had sushi for dinner? That sounds so good.” You lean forward to get a closer look, “Awe thank you. I tried so hard to do my makeup today,” you inform everyone when you see a compliment fly past. “It took me like four business days to finish my eyeliner,” you roll your eyes at the memory. 

You start humming softly as you read through chat, prompting everyone to start spamming for music and making you smile. “Okay okay, I get it guys I’ll put some music on.” 

You pull open Spotify, selecting one of your favorite non-copyrighted playlists, “Is that loud enough? Oh- too loud?” You turn it down by about twenty percent, “Is that better?”

You grin, letting yourself relax against the back of your chair. “I don’t really have a plan for the stream; I just wanted to kind of chat for a little bit, explain why I was in the hospital and stuff.” 

YOU WERE IN THE HOSPITAL????

You laugh when you see the message, realizing too late that you’d probably just dropped a bomb on everyone who doesn’t follow you on any of your other social media. “Oh yeah, sorry guys.” You suddenly snort, “Did someone just say I was in hospice for being dumb?” 

You shake your head subconsciously, “Even funnier though is that they’re kind of right.” 

You reach forward to grab the bottle of water resting on your desk, “Don’t worry it’s not anything serious. Like at all.” You pause to take a brief sip of the iced liquid, cringing at how cold it is when it enters your mouth. “Holy shit,” you shudder, “That was so fucking cold.” 

You take a deep breath to regain your composure.

“Anyways, so basically I fell and hit my head yesterday and my friends just wanted to take me to the hospital to make sure I didn’t get a concussion or anything. And then it turned out that I was actually - like - super dehydrated so they wanted to give me an IV drip to get some fluids in me.” You lift your water bottle pointedly, “Hence the new addition to the stream.” 

Normally you’d rarely ever have water during a stream, and if you did it was kept in a much smaller bottle. It’s different now though (your roommate made sure of that) since your current water bottle is big enough to cover your entire face if you were to hold it up. 

“But now I am a-okay and in perfect condition. Well, mostly anyways.” 

You spend some time just singing along to the music and responding to some of the messages you see in chat. You feel yourself relaxing as you talk with everyone, your tense shoulders loosening and your voice growing just a bit louder as you get more comfortable. 

You’re always nervous to stream at first, despite having done it hundreds of times by now. You don’t think you’ll ever not be nervous to be completely honest. It was such a surreal experience, to be able to be so closely connected with so many different people from so many different places, that you were terrified of ever losing it. 

“Oh my god you guys. So I made some pumpkin muffins with chocolate chips in them the other day and they are literally like the best thing I’ve probably ever baked in my life.” 

Better than your blended cookies?

You roll your eyes, “Oh ha ha; you guys act like you’ve tried it. I promise you all that it’s literally ten times better than it sounds. I’ll have to post the recipe at some point because I genuinely think a lot of you would love them.” 

I can attest to that ✋

“Sho,” you excitedly exclaim as you see your friend’s username. “You guys know Shoyo right?” You feel your head tilt, watching the varying responses flood your chat box. “Well if you don’t know who he is, he’s literally - like - famous for playing volleyball.” 

I love Hinata! I met him once and he was so nice.

You nod rapidly in agreement, “Yes! He’s seriously gotta be the nicest person I’ve ever met.” 

“Do you want to get on call with me?” You direct the question towards your close friend, subconsciously biting your lip as you await his answer. 

Still at practice unfortunately 🙁

You pout, “Oh no.” With a small sigh, “I just don’t know what to do now. You got any suggestions, chat?”

You read as many messages as you can, eyebrows furrowing further the longer you sit there. 

“I’m seeing a lot of minecraft; do we wanna play a bit of minecraft?” You hum in thought, swaying in your chair as you consider the idea. “How about Bedwars?”

Chat practically erupts at your words, capitalized letters and emotes flying by so fast that you don’t get any chance to read a single one. “Okay okay,” you laugh, “I get it.” 

You set your water bottle back down, adjusting your keyboard to sit properly before grabbing your mouse. “Let’s play some Bedwars I guess.” 

~~~

“Fuck you!” 

You groan as you release your mouse, throwing your head back in annoyance as you die yet once again. 

“How the fuck do I keep on dying? Literally what the fuck!” You chance a glance at your chat, hiding a smile at their reaction to your raging. You’ll admit it, while you are actually frustrated with the game, you’re definitely playing it up just a little bit for your audience. 

You don’t wait for the round to end after you die, leaving the game and immediately running to join another one. You’ve been playing in teams of three, hoping that having the extra assistance would help you stay alive longer. 

So far it’s proved to be completely futile. 

“We’re definitely gonna win this one you guys,” you say just as the round begins. “Me-,” you pause to look at your teammate’s usernames, “PinkyFluff_22 and Kodzuken are going to absolutely demolish everyone else.” 

What did she just sayyyyyyy 😳

I’m sorry you and WHO????

No way she’s playing with who I think she’s playing with

One in a million chance lol

Wtf

“What is everyone freaking out about?” You question as you patiently wait to collect some iron and gold, watching one of your teammates begin to cover the bed with a measly defense of red wool. “Kodzuken?”

You buy some wood and Endstone from the villager before purchasing a slightly better sword than the wooden one you were given. “Oh they stream?”

Girl 💀

How do you not know who he is?????

“Bro I don’t know,” you shrug, “I just work here okay.” 

You sprint over to the bed, breaking the wool to replace it with the Endstone, layering the wood on top, and then finally placing the wool around it again. “I guess I’ll be bed defense then,” you say as you notice that you’re the only person left on the island. 

“Oh shit someone’s coming!” You duck behind the giant cube of wool, watching the name tag get progressively closer to your island. You jump out as soon as you feel like they’re close enough, attacking the unaware oncomer and knocking them off the island within a few easy hits. 

“Fuck yeah!” You jump around excitedly, proud of the way your plan was actually successful this time. “See that? I told you I’m not bad!” 

You abruptly flinch as your character turns and comes face to face with another player. “Holy shit!” You release a sigh of relief as you realize it’s only your teammate, Kodzuken. “That scared me so bad. Oh my god,” you release your mouse briefly to place your hand on your chest. 

While you’re distracted trying to calm your heartbeat, Kodzuken suddenly stops before you. “What is he doing?” But before you even have time to be suspicious he suddenly drops a pile of diamonds and emeralds on the ground. 

You blink.

“Huh?” He looks pointedly at the gems then back up at you and back down, lightly tapping the block they’re floating on. “Is he giving them to me?” 

You glance over at your chat, your character finally going into motion when you realize they’re all screaming at you to go pick them up. “Jesus, sorry. I got them, see? Look, I’m picking them up right now.” 

You collect everything on the ground, crouching and un-crouching multiple times as a way to thank him. “Oh- shit,” you pause as a popup suddenly appears, “Stupid sticky keys!” 

By the time you manage to exit out of the window, Kodzuken is nowhere to be found. “Well,” you look at your webcam, “That was unexpected.” 

You quickly open game chat to send him a private message as fast as you possibly can. 

“Thanks :)”

It’s the best you can do with the little time you have but you hope he appreciates it nonetheless. 

“Okay, I’m gonna up our bed defense.” You repeat the earlier process all over again, only this time you add obsidian and make the outer layer made of wood. “Now that’s like literally impenetrable.” 

You upgrade your sword to a bow and arrows before purchasing some TNT and fireballs and buying the Miner’s Fatigue trap. “Now the real question is whether I try to attack the bases next to us or not.” 

Attackkkkkk

You’re gonna die

Kill them

We believe in you

“I guess it’s decided then,” you quickly shake out your hands. “Okay,” your voice fades as you run across the bridge you could only assume one of your teammate’s made. 

You’re extremely quiet as you make your way across, keeping your eyes on the island next to you and turning back every now and then to check on your own. You’re biting your lip as you slowly make your way across the rival team’s bridge, crouching the entire time to hide your name. 

You’re roughly twenty blocks away when you take the next step. Still crouching, you aim a fireball at their seemingly wool covered bed. “Yes!” You cheer as it makes its mark, blowing up the wool and revealing wood below it. 

You know that you’ve alerted the players at this point (there’s no way you haven’t) so all you can do is run into the fire. 

You’re panicking as you place some TNT around the bed, running away and into a player from the enemy team as it explodes. You use your mediocre sword to hit them away from you, mentally sighing as they get hit back enough for you to run away. “Oh my god oh my god oh my god,” you sprint towards the now revealed blue bed. 

“Blue Bed was destroyed by Soft_Paws!”

You squeal out of both fear and excitement, adrenaline racing through you as you’re attacked by two of the blue players at once. You throw a fireball at them, shouting for joy when one of them is successfully knocked off the island. 

“Holy shit!”

The next player is harder to kill, your health rapidly deteriorating as you battle with nothing but a stone sword and your adrenaline. 

You have one heart left when it finally happens.

“Ecstasy.png was killed by Soft_Paws”

“Yes!” You kick your feet out, jumping up from your chair with your excitement before remembering that you’re still in a game. “Holy fuck I did it. I actually did it, you guys!” 

She’s CRACKED

LETS GOOOO

WOOOOO

YEEEEESSSSSS

~~~

Roughly five minutes later, you’re still in the round. Everyone’s bed has been broken at this point but there are still three teams that are yet to be eliminated, yours included. 

You’re sort of just hiding at the base, watching the chaos from afar as your one and only teammate left (Kodzuken) goes on a murder spree. 

He’s running back to the team’s island when the incident occurs.

All you see is yellow leather armor and a yellow name tag, sprinting on the bridge connecting your base to the emerald island. You don’t even consider the fact that they’re currently being chased down by your teammate, you just aim. 

Your aim is exceptionally good, so good in fact that the explosion knocks off both the yellow player and Kodzuken. 

You freeze at the realization, your mouth falling open in complete horror as you piece together what you’d just done.

“I did not just do that,” you whisper, mostly to yourself as the events replay in your mind. “Oh my god,” you facepalm - forgetting (once again) that you’re still actually alive and participating in the game - and completely missing the person running towards you on the other bridge. 

You hear the sound of something being attacked, echoing through your headphones and making your eyebrows furrow with confusion. 

You abruptly gasp, but by then it’s too late. 

You’re dead. And your team has lost.

Taglist: @crazy-people-are-here, @existential-traveller, @peachesncats, @royalz658

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