#and people keep telling me im being overdramatic about it
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has the ceaseless unavoidable presence of undisclosed AI generated content absolutely everywhere made anyone else’s mental health so much worse basically all of the time or is it just me
#I can’t stop dissociating#every other post I see on the internet now im just repeating to myself ‘this isn’t real this isn’t real’ which has unsurprisingly#been really detrimental to my mental health!!#what has happened to the internet feels like another covid pandemic where the world has changed tremendously and permanently#and i just don’t know what to do.#and people keep telling me im being overdramatic about it#like ethical problems with generative ai aside (and how can you really put them aside) this is fucking with my mental health so badly#i constantly feel like nothing is real anymore and at least before i knew i was dissociating and derealizing#when I felt like that#now I can’t even tell if ‘feeling like nothing is real’ is real#because im right to think its not real#because a lot of it isn’t real. it was just ai generated.#ill read stories about things that never happened posted by people who didn’t write them#and it’s driving me actually insane#and I’ll never be able to go back to a time where I didn’t need to worry about that#something that’s been making me dissociate really bad that im thinking about for example is like#Reddit stories specifically. people reacting to stories that aren’t real as if they are real. and i i wonder if anything exists anymore#and it’s fucking with my head.#and nobody is taking me seriously#I don’t know if it’s better or worse to constantly be on the lookout for ai content but it’s stressing me out#i almost wish i just couldn’t tell at all. I don’t know.#if anyone has any actual advice I would really really appreciate it#or even just to let me know that im not alone. or that what im saying makes any sense#im scared#dissociation#anti ai#ai#shut up riley
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— college au!caleb x male reader (kind of caleb x reader x mc, lowkey...) implied childhood friends
cw: possessive caleb, mentioned/implied possessive mc, mean caleb (not to you, rip the random girls in this prompt), use of the korean word "oppa", (idk how cws work, but im just adding that in there??), basically a yandere caleb trying hard to not outwordly lose his shit <3
an: i really like the idea of a male reader third being added into this duo's dynamic, especially an older figure, so i might write more for this universe/male reader trope!! + my first time writing anything for lads/caleb, so...DONT be rude puhlease
one day, his classmates came up to him before class started. their expressions were bashful and faces were slightly red. to him it seemed like another attempt of confessing to him — that was both annoying and somewhat troublesome, but alas, he’ll just let them down easily. like he always does. the set up was reading to be something exactly like that, which is why the true purpose of them approaching him was shocking. and more infuriating than he could have imagined.
“uhm, caleb, we were just wondering,” one of them spoke up quietly before forcing their voice to be louder, “if [name]-oppa was single?”
his eyes twitched at the title. who the fuck were these people? sorry, did they know you or something? why would they call you that?
“he, uhm, he has been tutoring us for a while…well, me and lucia,” she gestured to a blonde girl that was apart of the group, who was also a bit red in the face, “and i was, uhm, just interested…no particular reasons!! we just wanted to know, were curious, haha, you know how it is,”
no, caleb didn’t. his chest was moving more rapidly with how uneven his breathing had become. once again, who the fuck were these people? you were tutoring people? he didn’t know that. you already had so much on your plate and now had to worry about these nusainces? he almost scoffed. what he was hearing was that these girls were just being burdens to you.
“i don’t know if disclosing that personal information is appropiate,” he “calmly” stated after collecting his thoughts. “you should ask him yourself, no?” he slams his book shut, abrupt and loud enough it makes them as a collective flinch. he almost sneers.
“well, since you two are bro-”
“he’s not my brother,” caleb hisses, finding it harder to keep his cool with each passing second, “[name] is not my brother,” he repeats.
“okay, well, we just thought-”
“you thought wrong,” he shoves his books into his bag and half hazardly throws the strap over his shoulder, “ask him yourself instead of bothering me, okay? i’m stressed with finals, i can’t really be bothered with something as trivial as this. you know how it is.” he sneers the last words with what can only be called venom, enjoying the way they shrink into themselves with each word he says. the way they seem to cower at his ruthlessness.
he enjoys it. putting people in their place in regards to you. they don’t know you, not like he knows you. what pisses him off even more though is them trying to. as if he’d ever allow them to even get that close to you. but then again, he didn’t even know you were doing tutoring sessions. how many people are getting the impression they have a chance in getting close to you? he’ll have to ask you later.
he can’t let these people in any closer than arm’s length distance. should he tell mc too? he’s sure she wouldn’t take too kindly to other people calling you oppa so casually. he smirks at the reaction she’d probably have to the news. an overdramatic flair of her possessive nature as well, he predicts. something the two of them had in common when it came to you.
well, he’ll deal with the issues however he seems fit. it’ll just be more convenient if he could also have some support coming from mc as well.
in his opinion, it should just be you guys in each other’s social cirlces. everyone else should just be passing faces, shouldn’t linger too long — getting too comfortable where they don’t belong.
#caleb x male reader#lads x male reader#love and deepspace x male reader#love and deepspace male reader#caleb male reader#lads male reader#xia yizhou male reader#male reader#yandere x male reader#yandere male reader#x male reader#caleb love and deepspace
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hi miss jade.
me and my dom are long distance
today we were in the middle of a scene and she just fell asleep. no warning that she was tired or anything to maybe coax me out of subspace at all. just, one second she was sexting me and the next, no response. this has happened before and yeah i’ve been bummed out and i told her to give me a warning when she gets tired (she only ever is free at night lately) and she agreed but she didn’t and i ended up dropping
on my own
halfway through a rougher scene she fell asleep and i dropped. alone.
it’s one of the scariest things i’ve experienced in terms of how vulnerable and emotionally unstable i was. i was stuck in the drop for about an hour and a half before i could pull myself out, because in my head at the time, i wasn’t good enough to keep her awake or make her stay and she left. this was partially because of the scene we’re doing which was a bit more in the humiliation side because she wanted to try it out.
now that i’m more stable emotionally, i’m pissed. and i feel bad for being pissed. but we had these rules in place BECAUSE we are long distance and need more safety precautions in terms of safe words and such. i know she was probably tired and didn’t do it intentionally, but im actually so mad and part of it. is at myself because i knew something like this would probably happen because of the long distance risks.
anyway. i’m mad. i’m pent up. i’m exhausted, and i have a mess to clean up.
i hope your day is going wonderful miss jade <3
Hi, sweet one.
First, come here, right into my arms. Let me just hold you for a bit. This was painful to read, my dear.
Please know that what happened to you matters. And your feelings, every one of them, are valid. That drop? That terrifying, hollow descent you felt when you were left alone mid-scene? That is real. And no, you’re not being too sensitive. You’re not being overdramatic. You’re not being unfair for feeling upset.
You were in subspace, a state that makes you emotionally fragile, deeply vulnerable, and intensely sensitive to connection, or to the sudden lack of it. To be left there, especially during a more emotionally charged scene like humiliation play, is not a small thing. You were exposed, cracked open, and then left without a hand to hold. And I’m so sorry that happened to you.
Now, it’s okay to be mad. I want you to hear that again: It’s okay to be mad. Anger doesn’t make you cruel. It doesn’t mean you don’t love or respect your Domme. It just means a boundary was crossed and your body is reacting to it. That anger is a messenger, listen to it.
You did your part. You had rules in place. You communicated your needs before. And while it’s true that people get tired and things happen, this is not the first time. And it wasn’t a neutral moment, it happened mid-scene, mid-vulnerability, and that deserves real reflection from both sides.
If she is only available late at night and knows she tends to fall asleep, then she has a responsibility as your Dominant to either shorten the scene, plan differently, or make damn sure that if she senses fatigue, she warns you and brings you down safely. That’s not asking for too much, sweetheart. That’s basic care.
And you, my beautiful and brave one, you are not at fault for feeling abandoned. You are not responsible for keeping her awake. You are not less worthy because she fell asleep. I know your mind tried to tell you those things in the drop, but that voice lies when it’s scared. I promise you, her sleepiness has nothing to do with your worth.
So what now?
Now, you protect your heart. You don’t bury this for the sake of peace. You bring it up. Not with rage, but with clarity. With the truth of how it made you feel. And you pay attention to how she responds, not to defend herself, but to take accountability and grow with you.
And I do believe long-distance dynamics do require extra care, extra structure, and extra emotional maturity. You were right to have those safety precautions. They were there for moments like this. So if you decide to continue this dynamic, there needs to be a conversation about repair, not just reassurance.
And darling? You deserve a Dominant who keeps you safe. Who treats your trust like something precious. Who doesn’t drift off mid-scene and leave you bleeding in the dark.
And please know that I’m so proud of you for surviving that drop, for crawling out of it, for recognizing the pain and speaking up.
You are not wrong. You are not broken. You are brilliantly, beautifully self-aware, and anyone lucky enough to hold your submission better know how to earn it.
And if you ever need a warm place to land, you know where to find me.
xo Miss Jade 🤍
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‼️RANT‼️
TW: porn, sa, rape, pedo, this is a commentary.
Im so tired of the Bsd fandom. Like i like it sometimes, i won’t deny that, but there is too much porn 😭😭.
I want family fond, fluff, anything! I want teen reader who acts too much like a bsd character when they were their age. I want a teen reader in the beast au whos Dazai right hand like how Dazai was Moris right hand. I want dad/mom bsd parent. I want teen reader taking the place as the new demon prodigy, i want intelligent reader. I want child of Chuuya or Dazai meeting someone who is just like Chuuya or Dazai. (Idk how to explain well but here you go. Ex: Child of Chuuya meets someone who acts just like Dazai when Chuuya met Dazai, or child of Dazai gets body slammed by someone who acts like Chuuya). I want a sassy child reader. I WANT PLOT. PLEASE IM BEGGING, IM SO BORED OF JUST READING PORN AFTER PORN CAUSE THERES NOTHING ELSE. ITS SO DRY IN HERE. IF YOUR GONNA MAKE PORN, MAKE IT INTERESTING. I DON’T WANT TO SEE DADDY DAZAI, THAT MAN IS NOT A DADDY!! HES A MANIPULATIVE TWINK. At this point its not even nice to read it. I can just hear my pussy shrivel up and die every time i stumble across smut or lemon or whatever people call it nowadays. (Side note non-con, pedo shit, etc is way too normalized in this fandom.)
Edit: i just want to add im not against porn. Do whatever you want, i can’t control you. What im so upset about is the fact it’s only porn. I can’t find a x reader (Platonic or Romantic) without it being anime characters raw dogging it, in a way that’s so out of character for them. I just want more variety.
Edit 2: I’m being overdramatic as a joke. I don’t like complaining without adding things that will make me giggle. Sorry I didn’t make that clear. If you don’t agree with my opinion scroll away, this wasn’t made to start any fights. This is just mindless ranting about what bugged me at the moment. Please don’t give me solutions, or try to treat me like I’m stupid. I already know what solutions to take, and I’m already taking them. I also want to add again: I DON’T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH PORN. DO NOT DEBATE WITH ME ABOUT IT.
Edit: Ya’ll are porn addicts. This is a commentary, it’s my opinion. Mindless rambling. But the way im seeing people get straight up attacked for saying it’s weird how much “Dark Romance” there is, is gross. Im lucky to have only a few try to fight me. Obviously I want to add, Im not talking about consenting adults. Im talking about yandere (Yandere is debatable, if it’s executed well), rape, sa, pedo. I find it disgusting. I understand if you’re using it as a tool for comfort but I also understand most of the time it’s not healthy. if therapist specifically tells you to use it as a tool of comfort go ahead but don’t share that to the internet. If not, do not do it. That comfort in your brain isn’t actually comfort its desensitization and desensitization can lead to more traumatic and horrible experiences. Anyways my conclusion is: Porn, no matter what form it is, is just as addictive. If you find something you don’t like scroll, if you keep getting that something then block. If you see something not okay then report, block, then scroll.
(Edit: I don’t exactly agree with my point about porn anymore. I don’t care anymore if someone is addicted to it or overuses it. But, I do still stand by my point about the normalization of non con and stuff like that.)
#bsd#bungo stray dogs rant#commentary#bsd commentary#rant post#Bungo stray dogs x reader#Bsd x reader#bungo stray dogs
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Alrighty, so I watched Spring Thunder today and I loved it so much that I went to the library to get the book that its based on, Die Leiden des jungen Werther/The Sorrors of Young Werther, which, sidenote, I would not translate 'Leiden' as sorrows, I feel like The Suffering of Young Werther would be more accurate, but maybe they thought that was a little overdramatic for what Young Werther actually goes through. I mean, he ends up killing himself which sounds like suffering to me but whatever. Anyway, while at the library I remembered that I still wasnt done with acomaf and started to feel kinda guilty about it because its been weeks since I even did my big analysis of chapter 54 and theres been ample opportunity for me to finish it because I ride the bus a lot, often for an hour at a time, but always just ended up killing that time by listening to music or an audiobook. So, in order to motivate myself, I have decided that I will not be reading Die Leiden des jungen Werther until Im done with acomaf, and I started reading right away on my way back home
I only made it through one chapter (chapter 55), but I have quite a lot of thoughts about it even though its mostly just post-mating bond acceptance smut
Firstly, the smut should not have been so ~hot and steamy~, atleast towards the beginning. Because the chapter starts off with Feyre making this big love confession and Rhysand being so touched and overwhelmed that he starts crying and she comforts him and then they share this tender kiss, which worked quite well for me emotionally surprisingly enough, but then he gets hard and they just immediately get to fucking. And not only do they immediately get to fucking, its not even gentle or tender or particularly emotional. Like, Feyre keeps internally talking about how much she loves Rhys and how hes her mate but it all just feels completely hollow to me (probably because the mate-shit in general just feels completely hollow to me tbh). And its so jarring immediately going from this tender intimate moment to smut wherein the narrators orgasms keep being likened to explosions of light and color. Like, how do you go from Feyre gently kissing the tears off Rhysands face to a fucking laser-lightshow in her pussy, it just takes me out of it
I will say, one thing that I like was Feyre telling him "You're mine" or rather, "You belong to me" (which I like even better) in the german version, but I assume she said the first thing in the original english one. Like, it is pretty transparently a limp attempt at seeming feminist and empowering on SJM even as shes writing Feyre as the one submitting to Rhysand for the most part, but Im easy to please in this regard. Its actually crazy how much I like him whenever hes in a somewhat vulnerable and/or submissive position instead of being Big Strong Many Man, I think if Feyre went full femdom on him I would fully forgive him for all of his crimes and for being extremely annoying (although femdom feyre would ideally whip him into shape ;)), but alas, SJM is a coward so I shall keep complaining about him until I die
But beyond the smut not working on an emotional level, I just hated the way it was written. The acotar series is truly not beating the 'Porn for people who are embarassed about reading porn' and not just in the sense that it has a lot more plot than straightup porn/erotica so its easy to pretend like youre reading it for that, but the words used and the way things are phrased are just so. Its difficult to describe, but it feels both gratuitous and like its massively holding itself back which is not a good combination for a fully written out sex scene; if youre gonna have one of those in your book you cant half-ass it, if youre gonna do it like this then you might as well just fade to black instead. The fact that everything is so explicit and yet so vague and that the genitals are never actually referred to as cock, vagina, clit, labia etc etc but only like, subtly alluded to, also just doesnt work for Feyres character
Like, Im gonna level with you here, Im not personally someone whos embarrassed about reading smut at all, but I am pretty embarrassed about writing it and I especially dislike writing any of the words for genetalia or the asshole because they all just feel so crude to me, so my smut scenes are kinda similar to this one in that way. However, most of my smut scenes are written from the perspective of a shy repressed young man in the 19th century whos never had sex having gay sex for the first time (i have a very specific type), so I can avoid words I dont like while still having it work on a character-level. But Feyre is constantly making dirty jokes and innuendos and shes supposed to be a sexually liberated character in a feminist book, so why does she have to say shit like "he nibbled at the sensitive point at the apex of my thighs" instead of just saying the word clit or labia or whatever it is shes talking about here, she could be about her fucking urethra for how vague shes being
And just to be clear, I dont think this smut scene is necessarily like this because SJM is embarrassed, I think its far more likely that its like this because its YA, which. I find it wild that publishers are just fine with pretty explicit sex scenes in YA now after years of seemingly not being fine with it, but then theres still this insistance on not using actual anatomical terms. Like, I dont think theres anything wrong with explicit sex scenes in YA books in general (although I would prefer if it they werent there/were non-explicit and teens would just go to adult books for their smut-fix, instead of thing we have now where it seems to be adults going to YA books for their smut-fix) because teenagers do be having sex and they do be having sexual fantasies, but if youre a country/culture like america where you dont find that okay at all, its just baffling that at some point you would suddenly be like "nvm actually, we are okay with it, but ONLY as long as authors dont use the anatomical terms", yknow what I mean? Atleast if they did use those terms instead of being needlessly vague you could argue its educational for the teen audience
Anyway, one last complaint I have about the smut is that its so repetetive. Feyre orgasms like four times and its basically described as some variation of "i exploded internally" every single time and Im just like, sarahhhhhhhh get new material pleaseeeeeeee. Also, this is a nitpick and also coming from someone whos never had sex before (and never will) but my orgasms never feel like explosions, they feel more like. like orgasms, it is admittedly hard to describe in other terms. but maybe you wouldnt need to use other terms if you just used to word orgasm. food for thought
Another thing that I wanted to talk about that annoyed me was the fact that Feyre kept calling Rhysand her friend because no the fuck hes not. They dont have any kind of platonic dynamic because they dont have any kind of dynamic outside of mutual sexual attraction and Rhysand putting her in saw traps ~for her own good~
The last thing that I wanted to talk about was this part towards the end that honestly just baffled me. So, Rhysand is explaining all the details of the post-mating bond horny frenzy to her and how he wishes he wouldnt have to go out and do politics so soon after she accepted it because the MaLeS always get really possessive during this time. Specifically, he explains that hes seen perfectly reasonable and measured guys completely destroy rooms after another man looked at his mate too soon after the bond was accepted. First of all, Rhysand knows other people beside his two friends, his cousin and the eldritch creature that doesnt really like him? could we meet them please? Second of all, this obviously makes Feyre think of Tamlin destroying rooms and upsets her, and Rhysand is just like "dont worry, i have enough self-control to not do stuff like that, but also I am a male after all, so if I do do stuff like that please be patient with me 🥺" which is just wild to me, that is such an abuser-coded thing to say. Not asking your partner to be patient with offputting behaviours in general, but like, specifically asking them to be patient with you potentially being violent "because of them". Its also very vindicating after this post that I wrote a few days ago ngl
Verdict: this fucking sucked. but not as much rhysand and feyre did this chapter ayooooooo
#honestly now that im motivating myself w/ dldjw i might finish this book within the next two days#i wanna read that book so badddddddddd#flames and darkness liveblog#anti acotar#anti acomaf
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hey! i just found ur blog and i was wondering if i could ask u some questions?
tw abuse? maybe?
recently my friends have been trying to tell me that my family(mostly my older brother) had been abusive to me based on some of the stories ive told them about how my bro used to hit me and stuff. in my head what happened was completely normal and i even joked about it. i was always told that it wasnt a big deal and that older brothers are just like that or that it was my fault for "poking the bear" and that he did it because he didnt know how to show that he loved me. i never really thought about it as weird until my friends started saying it wasn't normal? i been thinking about it and i know that siblings can be mean to each other but i feel like it crossed a line when i stopped fighting back hoping he would get bored if i never gave him a reaction. ive felt so upset with my family for a long time and god i want to leave and live by myself but thats not an option for another year or so. i know that parents screaming at their kids every day isnt normal and older brothers constantly hurting their little siblings isnt normal but i just cant stop thinking that im being overdramatic and unfair to them. i feel like im being manipulative whenever i try to tell people about it because its fine and it really was my fault. even saying that sounds really manipulative though! i dont want to give people the wrong idea and i dont know how to say this right
my family has done so much for me theyre lovely people and i know i love them so why do i keep flinching when theyre in the room and why do i feel so paranoid that someones mad at me? i just want to get away from everything
i feel so guilty i should be more grateful to them
i cant get my head around this and i honestly dont know what to think at this point so any advice you have would be greatly appreciated
sorry for the long ask and i hope ur doing well
-🌧️🌧️🌧️
for many victims we don’t even register it’s not normal because to us the abuse is normal because it’s all we know. it’s pretty common for victims to not realize they were abused until years later or until we tell someone who think it was normal
ur family can still do nice things for you but they can also still be abusive. u most likely flinch because that’s your body remembering the abuse. our body, our muscles and our nervous system can remember but our mind does not.
don’t feel guilty for feeling this way it’s normal to feel confused by abuse because it’s not always black and white either!! depending on ur age i would see if you could stay with someone else or live with friends (but i also know this isn’t always possible.)
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its only been 2 weeks but i just dont feel like i can do this.
its really stressful. the workload is always high. having a break isn't really a thing. and with how bad my schedule is (that i could not do anything about) i have to wake up extremely early (5-5:30am) and i come home in the evening (also 5-5:30 but pm). and i just have to dedicate that time to homework and i know there's going to be lots of all-nighters
i have no time to eat. im tired all the time. focusing on work is difficult in general, but my lack of eating and sleep make it worse. and while i know the exercise is good for me, having to walk a mile each way to and from home and all my walking on campus makes me very tired and sore. (im so petty)
i know im being overdramatic because its only been 2 weeks. but it gets worse from here on out. im really stressed and anxious all the time. and ive already broken down a few times. i want to cry right now because im under so much stress, but people are awake so i cant.
its so petty. i want to give up now and i keep contemplating, i thought about going to the rooftop and. well. you know. i want to drop out now but that would upset my family a ton (also its only been 2 weeks!!!). but i dont really like my family's idea that if they went to college and got their degrees, so can i. they all went to college so thats what was encouraged of me to do too after i graduated high school. and this is just community college. if im barely hanging on in community college id be dead by now in a uc or cal state, either one im planning to transfer to once im done at community college...
i knew i wasnt cut out for college. i knew it since before applying. i keep telling myself this is only until december. and when i register for the spring term i can hopefully form a much better schedule so im not stressed out and loaded with work all the time and i can actually take care of myself. so im trying to keep moving forward. but its only now september. i have 13 more weeks. and if these first two weeks were enough to kick my ass then im fucked for the rest of the semester. and probably my entire time at college.
#vent#i do not like that i break under pressure so easily#guess who has zero time to go see the psychiatrist and mention my medication isn't working so it cant help regulate my anxiety rn!!!!!!!!!!#i dont want to give up so easily. i feel like it'd be petty of me to do so especially so soon. and im being teased by family for my#complaints. but i really feel like i cant do this. at all.#maybe i could go seek the mental health services on campus but i dont really want to hear the same things over and over#i have a very strong feeling i know what they'll tell me. they get stressed af students like me going to see them all the time probably#i just. want to cry. this stress is terrible.#this was my plan. besides encouragement i wanted to attend community college then go to a 4-year. i feel like I cant give up yet#because this was my idea. i am now here doing what i had planned and now i want to back out. i dont have any right to back out of this#im doing what i wanted and what family wanted. leaving isn't an option what the hell am I thinking?
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therapy 04/15/24
had a really insane therapy session today where I learned a lot of things about myself. I guess things ive known for a while, but i havent fully accepted/processed. it started with elli and how i haven't forgiven her for something that happened 6 years ago and how i ruminate and hold grudges. i do this because part of me doesn't believe myself. why dont i believe myself? why do i ruminate? because im trying to protect myself when so many things that i pretend aren't real happened in my childhood + my past. things that i find shameful. why do i find them shameful? because its easier to pretend that my life wasnt that bad. that i didnt feel unsafe as a child. that my parents were loving + protecting. not only that, ive been trained by authority figures that what i do remember is wrong. tina telling me that my dad is just like that and to get over it/normalize it, my mom telling me that she has it worse, the embarrassment of cps coming to my house, other ppl seeing my parents and thinking they were normal. its just easier to pretend that's true, and it makes me doubt my actual feelings. maybe it is true! maybe i'm being overdramatic and whiney- things aren't that bad! i have always lied and said my dad wasn't part of my story. but he is. all the trauma that i can't remember is part of my story. kennedy and why that all happened. i cant even broach the topic anymore. i cant even think about it. forget forget forget. so now, that's why i ruminate. that's why i have to convince myself that things people did are wrong in order to protect myself. and its hard because i was programmed to not do that. to deny and forget. as delphine said, i couldn't process that as a child– it was too painful. so now, my nervous system is in overdrive, i hyperanalyze people and am so so distrustful and unforgiving. because i cant deal with the source of those problems. i cant truly not judge and forget what happened. even though i can't remember it, my spirit does, my nervous system does, my poor tortured inner child does. it's so much easier to keep pretending and make up these fake traumas then face the real ones. it's easier to say i was raped in china than i was raped by numerous older men (and in some ways i still feel like i deserved it). I still havent brought up those stories with delphine. not even sure if i can do it yet. these are things that i havent admitted to anyone ever. i'm so embarrassed, humiliated by my vulnerabilities because i don't want to face them. i don't want this ugly part of me to ever come out. because i feel like if it were all true, i'd be unfixable and pathetic. that's why i fiercely protect myself now, maybe to a fault. i think that's why i know instantly whether or not i like people and why i'm so sensitive to their mistakes. because i feel a deep deep disgust that i have never really explored or let out. i recognize evil, i recognize darkness, i recognize bad. so maybe that's good now. but i wish i could have gone back in time and protected little me. she didn't deserve all the things that happened to her. and it's so unfair those things happened to her. but maybe i should move a little slower like delphine said. try to relax and calm my nerves when i've been through so much. it's reversible. i am strong. my life has texture to it. maybe all this shit has made me crazy, but all i can do is respect and honor myself now. put myself and my feelings first. actually listen to myself, honor my feelings, and slow down.
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#tw vent#HA SORRY this week has just been really bad 2 me#denial is literally the worst coping mechanism in the fucking world! more unhealthy than anything bc i keep on telling myself im better#but refusing to acknowledge anything at all and just stuffing it back in#i guess at some point everything will come tumbling out for real and things do fall out sometimes#theyve been peeking out annoyingly this week#menthol illness HGBKDJBFJB#i should truly stop joking about it but taking it seriously is also.....#i realize i should trust my friends enough to rant but also i dont want to unpack all this baggage on them when they have their own issues#but also#hh.#self deprecating arc again#the genuine self confidence was really nice while it lasted but rn it just feels. i dunno ungrateful overdramatic annoying maybe#i feel bad for not being able to believe others words when they say i do have value but then i feel bad for mentioning it in the first place#people shouldnt be valued based on how much they have to offer#in fact their usefulness shouldnt have to matter at all because everyone is their own unique person#and theyre offering so much just by being themselves#why cant i apply any of that logic to myself though? hypocritical fae. bitch
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Ouch
I cut my fingy and panicked a lot so here’s a quick not-at-all thought out thing about how some egos would react to s/o cutting their finger while cooking and it like isn’t that bad but they’re freaking out
1.4k words
Enjoy!
Markiplier egos with an s/o who accidentally cut themselves hcs
Darkiplier
He was in his study, just thinking, while you made dinner
He heard a tiny “ow” and didn’t think much of it
He then heard a louder “OW” and a string of “fuck”s and got worried
He entered the kitchen, to see you gripping your wrist and holding your finger under the water from the sink
He thinks you burned yourself
Then you pull your hand away and he sees blood and immediately makes his way over.
“What happened? Are you ok? How bad is it?”
You don’t answer as you are too busy hyperventilating because goddammit it HURTS
He tries to take your hand to look at it but you won’t let him
You look so hurt and vulnerable and he feels so bad
If you’d asked him to help cook, and he didn’t take it, he’d feel a thousand times worse
Eventually, he gets you to sit down and calms you, just a bit, and goes to get band aids
He comes back to you looking like you’re about to have a panic attack
He quickly stands you back up, and you put your finger back under the sink.
He gently washes it with soap and apologizes every time you make a noise
He gives you the bandage and lets you sit on the couch
You calm down and lean on his shoulder
He lets you sit there for a bit, rubbing your arm.
You eventually look up at him
“I think I may have overreacted.”
He’d laugh and kiss your head and goes to finish cooking dinner
Wilford
He wasn’t even home yet
You told him you were starting dinner and he left wherever he was immediately.
He was picking up wine from the store when you called him
“Wilford please get bandaids”
He was confused and a little worried, so he asked why
“Please just buy some and hurry home please” and you hung up
Now, Wilford is hardly a reasonable man as it is. so when he ran out of the store (without paying) and sped down the road in his car to get home before you, like, died or some shit, you shouldn’t have been surprised
He may or may not have run into a pedestrian or two on the way
He threw the door open when he got home, gun in hand
“WHAT HAPPENED WHAT’S THE DANGER”
You’re sitting on a chair in the kitchen breathing heavily, holding your finger
He can’t help but laugh because, christ, he thought it was something BAD
But, to you, it was bad. and he was laughing at you.
You tear up, just a bit. you’re feeling a lot of emotions right now.
He sees and gets worried again because is it worse than he thinks?? is there another injury??? are you traumatized what’s happening?
He tries to look at the cut but you turn away, looking very upset
He tries to convince you to let him see but you won’t budge
You’re whining a little (which I do because I can’t emote properly) which makes him upset
He drops to his knees and holds out his hands
“C’mon, baby! Let me see! Let me help!”
He’s being overdramatic and stupid and it makes you smile. So you do.
He gently kisses the spot, as to not hurt you, and puts a bandaid over it, kissing that too.
He orders take out and lets you lay on his lap while he pets your hair
Yancy
He was practicing some dance moves when he heard you in the kitchen
You were cursing and breathing heavily
Logically, he should know that perhaps you hurt yourself making dinner
However Yancy is a bit of a dumbass so he thinks someone broke in or something
He walks in with a knife, only for you to stand there with your finger under the sink.
He sees the blood, so concludes that you cut yourself. But you look really upset?
He’s mostly confused.
He’s been through worse, you’ve been through worse, he KNOWS you have
So why are you so upset?
“Why are you so upset?” “I don’t know!” “It’s not that bad” “I know...” “What’s the problem?” “I don’t KNOW!”
You start to cry, just a bit, and Yancy panics
He doesn’t know what to do. He’s not used to this!
He wants to tell you to get over it, but also he doesn’t?
Like, he knows it’s the easiest thing to say, but also not the BEST thing to say
So he says nothing. He gets a band aid, puts it on your finger, and hugs you.
He holds you for a minutes until your breathing is normal
If you tell him you don’t wanna cook today, he orders pizza
If you tell him you can, he’ll try to help
You have to kick him out because the man doesn’t know what the fuck he’s doing
Illinois
He’s watching you cook and sees it happen before it does
Your finger isn’t in the right place, he saw you adjust
He tries to warn you but doesn’t do it in time
He winces because ouch
He processes what happened before you do, so he already has the band aids.
He turns the sink on, moves your finger underneath, and cleans it with soap
He puts the band aid on you and kisses your hand
He asks if you want to keep cooking or if you want him to cook
If you want to, he’ll help you with whatever you were doing first that made you cut yourself
If you don’t want to, he’ll finish what you were doing on his own.
He makes sure you’ve calmed down and holds your hand, rubbing his thumb over your knuckles
“Im being overdramatic...”
“No, you’re not. It hurt. You bled. You got upset. You’re ok now.”
He’s a very understanding and responsible man ^///^
Magnum
None of that goddamn crew can cook for shit, so you always have to
Mostly fish and vegetables you buy at different ports
Magnum and the others are just drinking and laughing when they hear you yell and curse from the kitchen
Magnum goes over to see what’s happening
He sees you holding your finger and goes to hold you
He’s very. protective, I’m gonna say.
“Oh, poor darlin’... are ye alright? Are ye ok? Awh, sweetheart...”
He doesn’t have bandaids, so he cleans a cloth and covers your finger
He makes you rest in your room (even though it wasn’t particularly that bad)
The other crewmates check in periodically to see if you’re ok
Magnum decides he’s going to cook
Yes, the ship catches on fire. No, he will not say how he did it
You have to finish dinner, otherwise the others are gonna kill themselves trying
Google
He’s recharging on the couch while you cook
He hears you curse from the kitchen and concludes you’ve hurt yourself
He doesn’t really see one injury as too much worse than another. they’re all bad
He knows what happens if even the smallest wound gets infected
He wants it dealt with quickly and efficiently
He walks up to you and grabs your hand, pulling it under the sink
He cleans it with soap, puts a band aid on it, and leaves
Dr. Iplier who, bitch?
He likes to sit when you while you eat, just so he can talk to you
You, however, don’t talk to him at all and he’s a little upset
He figures he was a bit too rough with you at first when he reaches for you after you stand up and you pull away
“I apologize for my methods, I wanted to make sure the wound was dealt with posthaste.”
“Well... I guess that’s a good enough excuse.”
You hug him, and he (hesitantly) hugs back
Bing
Probably the reason you cut yourself lmao
He enjoys bothering you when you’re busy
He hasn’t recieved his Designated Bing Attention Hours today and therefore you have to deal with a very clingy and annoying Bing
He’d be less annoying if he’d stop fucking TOUCHING THINGS but w/e
He bumps into you and you yell
He doesn’t realize that you cut yourself until you start cursing
He turns around to see you frantically turning the water on and gets very nervous
Shit, that was his fault? He did that? Fuck, you’re angry, aren’t you. FUCK
He leaves, immediately, and you have to deal with it yourself.
He paces in your room for a bit, debating what to do
“Ok. Alright. What do people like. Phones? I could buy a phone. I could STEAL a phone. I could steal anything they want! Do people need graphics cards?”
He settles for walking back into the kitchen, apologizing, and walking back out
“nailed it”
You’re a little quiet the rest of the day, and he’s still nervous, but you hug him and kiss his cheek before you get ready to go to bed, so it’s ok
#i did 7 instead of 6 and i dont really care#i was gonna put dr iplier#but then i realized he's probably a competent human being and that's no fun#either that or he'd just say you're dying and walk away and that's no fun either#darkiplier x reader#googleplier x reader#bing x reader#illinois x reader#yancy x reader#wilford warfstache x reader#wilford x reader#captain magnum x reader#x gender neutral reader#x gn reader#markiplier egos x reader#self indulgence babey
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Reasons why you should also love Papyrus and his alternate selves:
He’s confident! He’s smart! He’s also a bit oblivious to things but that’s okay. He’s also brave even when he’s scared! He’s pretty lonely since he has a hard time making friends. Which is why he would try to be your friend first rather than hurt you! But he could do some serious damage. He’s pretty mysterious. He’s also pretty. He’s the light of my life. He keeps applying the weirdest things wherever his ears are and I’m going “???”
He’s very overdramatic and tries to be edgy but he’s basically a cartoon’s main villain in terms of goofiness. Okay he may be going through some stuff too but you can’t look me in the eye and tell me he isn’t actually like Skeletor. He’s either high in ranking in the Royal Guard or the captain of it. He has a complicated friendship/rivalry with Undyne (unless they are just friends who train together). He and his brother do care about each other but they show it rarely. Also no, we are not here for that really, really bad take on his behavior towards Sans and others. He also probably doesn’t have a lot friends considering the universe he’s in and his position.
He’s extremely goofy, a prankster and an inventor. He embraces more of his chaotic energy. He somehow is seen as extremely cuddly. I mean… most of the people’s takes on him is Sans 2.0, but that’s for another time because I’m talking about my take on him. He is totally the type who would go “bUt wHaT iF tHeY tHiNk iM a lOsEr???” He does have some anxiety and doesn’t exactly have a lot of friends either. Sort of well-liked by the town, but also are a little weirded out by him and his inventions/pranks. Let him rest please he has a slightly more chaotic brother and he’s taking a break on making stuff.
Since he’s a fell version of Underswap, you can have a lot of different tales on how he’s like. But for me, he is still pretty anxious, tired, and wants to be helpful. He’s a good artist and likes coding. He’s thoughtful and he’s also the embodiment of “it’s the thought that counts”. He doesn’t have a lot of friends either. He needs to do something with his hands. You hand him a child to take care of and he’s like “oh yeah I can do this” but inside he’s freaking out because he doesn’t know what he’s doing. Also yeah, he doesn’t know what he’s doing sometimes. He has a complicated, a bit strained relationship with his brother, but he really does care about him and wants to do more for him. He has a lot of low self-esteem issues.
Okay, but listen… he’s an older Papyrus. He’s gone through a lot and his brother tricked him into something that had life-changing consequences. He’s frustrated at him for what he’s done and how he acts. But once they get to the surface, he’s trying to readjust to life and learning to accept that he can’t go back to who he was before. He also wants his brother to change too, despite their relationship being complicated and strained. Also he’s just really tall. And has grown pretty realistic. It’s not a bad thing since he tries to see the good in certain situations.
“who the fuck is the green Papyrus that you keep drawing. who the fuck is he” That’s one of my other loves of my life but I made him and the universe he belongs to green. You know for color theory reasons. He’s a swapped version of Underfell. He’s a defender kind of guy. He’s a self sacrificial kind of guy. He just wants to protect others. This guy has so much going on with him. He tends to be clever with his traps, but sometimes he just goes with a straightforward trap. He’s slightly chaotic. He’s kind of sassy. He doesn’t have any friends. Why did I give him so many jobs to do??? If you ask him to take care of a person or pet or plant, he’s got spirit, but sometimes he doesn’t know what he’s doing. He’s just trying to remember what his brother normally does when he takes care of something. He’s not a caregiver, but he can try. This guy is really touched starved. He doesn’t like his jobs but things have to be done.
“Is that an Inktale Papyrus?” Yes it is and I love his chaotic energy and the fact that he just eats charcoal as a snack. “I can fix him” no don’t fix him, I love his bluntness and friendliness. I accidentally made him sort of have the same-ish personality as Sonic we are not going to talk about why I did—
#undertale#underfell#underswap#swapfell#horrortale#fellswap#inktale#kioko spills the beans#sometimes you look at a handsome skeleton and remember their quirks#and you also happen to love those quirks because thats what makes him stand out to you#‘kioko are you okay?’ no im in a papyrus loving mood and i wanted to talk about him#also i dont want to shut up about papyrus and his alternate selves
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If It is okay to ask, how to tell when a kid is adhd or just being a kid? Looking back I can see a few signs like constant daydreaming, restlesness fidgeting etc but that wasnt much different from the other kids. As a teenager it became more clear I think because most of girls my age were not behaving like tomboys anymore and the symptoms mentioned above did not go away plus i think I had/have rsd. But only now as an adult i feel like these things are actually getting on the way. I daydream a lot, the restfulness didn't go anywhere, rsd still anoying as fuck (i think this is related with being a people pleaser? I got that too) and i notice more and more this horrible thing you usually call executive dysfunction. I cant really get a diagnosis and while I relate to a lot of symptoms and posts adhd people share, I'm really scared Im just procrastinating and trying to use adhd as an excuse for not getting things done. And I feel really bad about that. So back to my original question, if the signs were there since childhood but did not trouble me until like 4 years ago, how can i tell If It was adhd or Just kid stuff?
i mean the fact it didn't go away is a pretty good tell, honestly.
redmore to save the dash
as an adhd kid you may, with other children
-had difficulty making/keeping friends or socialising and felt "weird" or "different"
-were not invited to parties, made excuses to not go, or acted inapproptiately when there (and were never invited back)
-easily gave in to peer pressure from a desire to "fit in"
-were probably called "gullible"
-found it difficult to "wait your turn" in any activity
-frequently picked last for games and team sports
-found it difficult to "share" things with others
-caused fights/arguments with siblings/other children over trivial things
-may have been called "spiteful" or "vindictive"
-not realised when you were "taking things too far" with joke or play
-tried to annoy people on purpose
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as an ADHD child in school you may
-consistently not done school/homework until the last minute. not by choice, but because you could never seem to "just get started on it" until it was immediately pressing
-not known where to start with longer-term projects / never really "got" how to study or revise for exams. could not organise notes.
-made careless mistakes in schoolwork
-had report cards littered with "intelligent but could try harder" "needs to apply themselves" "has potential but lazy" etc
-parents/teachers said you had an "attitude" / you had a tendency to "talk back"
-often seemed to forget things you had already learned until you were reminded of them, or had difficultly linking knowledge together
-doodled a lot in class, and found doing so made it easier to listen
-easily distracted by external stimuli ie things happening outside the classroom window, or a conversation in the next room
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as an ADHD child at home you may
-had trouble getting up in the mornings (your parents had trouble dragging you up, and you felt groggy/sleepy "just 5 more minutes")
-had issues going to bed. did not seem "tired" at bedtime. stayed up late reading frequently. refused to get ready for bed.
-always been rushed to get ready for things
-being forgetful or "a ditz"
-being called "lazy"
-forgetful with daily activities such as brushing your teeth and would need to be reminded
-found it hard if not impossible to keep your room clean and organised. not "knowing where to start" with it
-walking past things without seeing them. eg my parents would leave my laundry on the stairs to take up and then berate me because "you've walked past it six times today". not really seeing mess in general bc it became "background noise"
-not following through on instructions/not finishing what you were asked to do. like doing half of the dishes
-you were over-sensitive to criticism
-would often lie to get out of obligations, maybe even compulsively (ie you couldn't help it)
-you answer to "why did you do/say x" or "why didnt you do x" was frequently "i don't know" and you genuinely didn't know
-liked to do things the same way every time and got upset if the structure or plan changed
-would become frustrated if your demands were not immediately met. could not "wait until later"
-somebody would ask you to do something and you wouldn't do it for several hours, without realising it had been that long
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as an ADHD child in your leisure time / emotionans you may
-people saying "are you even listening to me?" a lot
-talking excessively, being "a chatterbox"
-despite being a "chatterbox" around familiar people, you were very shy/withdrawn around others. your two modes are "verbal diarrhea" and "mute"
-answering questions before the person even finished asking, interrupting others a lot
-you had a lot of interests but didn't keep up with any of them for very long
-were "emotional" or "overdramatic" ie crying or getting angry easily
-identified as a "perfectionist" and would either hyperfocus on unimportant details, or gave up on new pursuits you were not "immediately good" at
-people said you have a "selective memory" because you can eg name all 151 pokemon in order but not remember to pick up milk on the way home
-your moods seemed to change quickly and drastically
-had difficulty "behaving yourself" in public ie when out shopping
-broke/smashed things when angry
-got injured by doing reckless/stupid things
-complained of "being bored" often
-watched TV or played video games excessively and could lose hours at a time without noticing
#all of this obv in addition to the general#daydreaming/fidgeting/inabiliy to sit still/excess physical energy#you can look up child ADHD rating scales#that would have been completed by a parent or teacher#and look back and score yourself
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i just know that something good is going to happen.
part of the cloubusting universe. a continuation of the story of painter!harry and barista!mc. cold decembers baths, too hot baths, and even hotter confessions.
pairing: harry x reader warnings: language, sexual content words: 7.8k

series masterlist
a/n: hi. im back. this is just pure sweetness because why not. more will be coming from them, more from earlier on and later on in their relationship and time together💕 happy reading, hope everyone enjoys and please let me know what you think !💕💕

What time are you off ?
You glanced at the time after reading the text from Harry. The morning was incredibly slow, the drab December weather not enticing patrons to come out for a hot coffee.
3pm but I might be able to get out early
You saw the three little dots appear and disappear as Harry was typing, briefly glancing up at the door between looking down at your phone. As suspected, no one had walked in and no one needed anything from you.
I’m just heading home now Come by when you can x
Finding yourself smiling down at the phone, typing back a quick response before shutting it off and placing it back in your pocket to do some menial cleaning around the café to pass time.
Sounds good💕
Time flew by far too slowly. Three people came in between one and two o’clock, and you were left to mindlessly dust inside of cabinets and overstock the counters.
Saya was just as bored as you, the two of you chatting until you saw the clock hit 2:30 and decided that it was close enough for your time to head out. You had loose plans with Harry, him having asked you if you were free after work since he had the day freed up as well.
Which is why you now found yourself walking up the now very familiar steps to his place, finding his door propped open with a book for you.
You knocked once on the door just to let him know that you were there, before picking up the book and letting yourself in.
You saw Harry sitting by the large window, his back facing you. Still wrapped in your jacket, you hung the straps of your tote bag over the back of a chair and moved towards him. You were sure he heard you come in, how could he not have, but he still didn’t turn back to face you until you were standing behind him.
“Hi there,” he smiled with a quick tilt to his head. Your hands fell to his shoulders, leaning your front against his back as you hugged him from behind.
“What are you working on?” You hummed, chin resting against his shoulder. You didn’t get a chance to see what he was doing, as he quickly flipped close the two large sketchbooks he had in front of him.
“Secret,” he turned around on the chair, tilting his head as you quickly moved from his shoulder to avoid his chin hitting your cheek. “How was work?”
“Work was so slow – which I guess was okay. M’tired.”
Your arm circled around the back of his neck, as one of his own landed to your lower back, pulling you around him. Your lips brushed his temple.
“Lips are freezing,” he murmured, tugging you further into him until you were sat over his thighs. Keeping your arm around his neck as he held your back, he hugged you closer after you came in from the chilled December air. “Is it that cold out?”
You cozied in the warmth coming from him, even as you sat still wrapped in your thick coat. “The heaters are still broken at work.”
He titled his chin, lips brushing your cheek. “Are you still cold?”
You unwrapped your arms from around him, tugging at the buttons keeping your jacket together as you let it fall open. “Not as much,” you laughed lightly when his hand around you helped tug the thick coat off, neither of you caring when it hit the floor. “Just caught a small chill.”
He leant in closer as if pulled by an invisible force towards you, eyes locked. His lips nudged yours, catching them in a small kiss as you revelled in the warmth of his face. His cold fingertips brushing over his cheek, he pulled away with an overdramatic shiver. “You’re freezing.”
“Warm me up then,” you teased, as his grip tightened around you and his head dipped in to rest in the crook of your neck with a series of little pecks.
“I’m trying –” he muttered against your skin, before rising his head so that your eyes could once again meet. You brought your hands up to his shoulders, mindlessly tracing the patterns in the knit of his sweater.
You could practically see the strain in the muscles of his cheeks as he tried not to smile. “But I don’t think taking your clothes off is the answer right now.”
He pushed his cheek against yours, breath fanning over your ear. He kissed the corner of your jaw once more while his grip grew even tighter around your back so that you were completely flush against him.
You tapped your fingertips over his neck before muttering to no one in particular, “how’re you so warm all the time.”
He pulled his head back to face you once more, the tip of his nose gracing over your temple before puckering his lips over the same spot. Another kiss was pressed over your cheek, following the curve down until smooth lips captured your own.
Your fingers had moved up from his neck to his scalp, mindlessly trailing them through his hair. “How was your day?”
“Slow,” he nodded against you. “Went for a run, did laundry – that kind of day.”
You only hummed, a small silence falling over you as you embraced each other.
“I love…”
Harry shifted slightly from under you, his voice getting as he fell back into the crook of your neck. “I love the way you smell like coffee.”
His hot breath was felt when he spoke, nuzzling his nose over you for a moment before looking up towards you once again. You let out a soundless laugh, smiling down at him.
“Hm,” you could feel the hum come deep from his chest. He inhaled in an exaggerated way, bending his neck down so that his nose brushed along the exposed skin above the neckline of your sweater. “Smell like honey actually – like honey and jasmine.”
You let out a little laugh. “You’re saying I smell like coffee and tea?”
Although teasing, you were aware of the hint of jasmine in the perfume that was spritzed onto your neck earlier that day and almost surprised that he could tell what it was.
“I’m saying I love the way you smell.”
Even from the slight unfocused way you saw him, you watched the way his lips curved around the word “love”, unable to help noticing how often he used the word.
Not answering, instead you lowered your head to rest against his shoulder as you simply embraced each other for a moment. From the way your neck was titling, a small pain was starting to grow in the corner of your neck that had you having to pull away.
Rolling your head back on your neck in a feeble attempt to stretch out the kink, Harry’s fingers squeezed your hips.
“You okay?”
“Just sore.” The pain that you got from your ribs and shoulder only seem to grow instead of subside, new knots forming every week. “Keep forgetting to make an appointment at the physio.”
Harry hummed, watching as you unlatched one arm from around him to rub over your shoulder. “Take a hot bath – it’ll sooth your muscles and warm you up.”
“I don’t have a tub,” you watched him, “you know that.”
“That’s true,” he smiled. “But I do.”
The two of you had been together for just over two months, but he still blushed slightly as you held his gaze and rolled your lips in against your teeth.
“If you want – we don’t have to bathe together or anything if you don’t want to. Would be nice for your back though.”
You only smiled at your partner. “That sounds perfect, actually.”
For some reason, the idea of taking a bath with someone else was so extra intimate to you. Showers were one thing – whether Harry’s hands were lathering shampoo in your hair or pushing you against the tile, there was always something a bit quick and rushed about them.
Baths were slow, and peaceful, and had the sole purpose to sit and do nothing other than let yourself relax.
Harry had a surprising amount of bath products, not that it was news to you as you were already familiar with the contents of this washroom cabinets. You found a lavender bubble bath that you poured in, and some epsom salts that were scented with some fresh smelling essential oils.
Waiting for the tub to fill, you rubbed make up remover that you kept at Harry’s over your skin. Taking your time with the process, patting small layers of moisturizer over your newly washed faced.
Sweater was already sitting on the countertop, you did your skincare routine standing in your bra and jeans.
Your attention turned away from your reflection in the mirror when there was a soft knock on the door, followed by Harry speaking your name just loud enough to be heard over the crash of the water falling into the tub.
You giggled lightly as you turned the knob to open the door, endeared by the fact that he knocked first.
“I found these,” he stood at the door way, two little white candles in hand. “One of them smells like vanilla.”
You hummed in approval, grabbing hold of them, bringing both under your nose as the soft sweet smell surrounded you.
He smiled softly, eyes dropping down to take in the already relaxed state you seemed to have settled into. “Take all the time you want – I’ll start making something to eat.”
You furrowed your brow. “You’re not joining me?”
“Oh – figured you want some time alone, no?”
You shook your head, bottom lip between your teeth. “No. The water is hot, I put way too much bubble bath in – it’s the perfect recipe for a bath.”
He laughed, walking past the doorway to near you and wrapped an arm around your back so that you wouldn’t move back. “I think just being in there with you is enough of a selling point.”
A kiss was pressed to your nose, and then your lips, before the hands on your lower back were smoothing over your bare skin. You could feel his fingertips fiddling with the clasp of your bra, undoing the garment and letting it fall free from your body.
He moved away, just far enough so that he could pull the blue fabric off of you and he let his eyes trail over the skin that was just exposed to him. “I’ll go grab some towels.”
When Harry came back, you had fully stripped down and already settled into the tub. Your back resting against one side, water hitting just at the middle of your chest with bubbles sticking to the skin of your breasts.
The water was too hot, but in a good way. In the kind of way that you took a bit longer to fully settle yourself in, but once you were in you didn’t want to leave.
“How is it?”
You only hummed in response; eyelids half closed. You could still see him move around the small space of the bathroom, shutting the door and flicking a lighter until the wick of the candles was crackling. He turned off the overhead lights, eyes glancing at you as if to check if you were okay with it.
The melodic songs of Francoise Hardy filled the room, echoing nicely around you. You could hear him shuffling around, and you peaked an eye open to catch him just as he was tugging his sweater over his head.
He placed it next to your clothes on the counter, already pulling up the teeshirt he wore under it. His back was turned to you, the orange glow of the candlelight lighting up his skin. Every dip in muscles was accentuated with a deep shadow, and you shifted a bit in the tub to get a better view of him.
His baggy pants were easily kicked aside, and it was just as his thumbs were hooking into the elastic of his briefs that he caught your eye through the mirror. “Enjoying the view?”
“I am, very much so,” you watched the smirk pull on the corner of his mouth at your words.
He kept his eyes locked with yours as he tugged the last piece of clothing off. He didn’t miss the way your eyes dropped, followed by you quickly looking away and shutting your eyes as if embarrassed to be caught staring. Although there was a smile that lingered on your lips, and the both of you knew that you were anything but embarrassed.
Your eyes only reopened when you heard a splash followed by a little hiss, and after peaking an eye open you saw him sitting at the edge of the tub with half a leg submerged in the water.
“It’s really hot,” he laughed a little, slowly sinking the other leg to join the other.
“It’s nice,” you hummed, watching as he pushed himself off the edge and slowly eased into the tub. Sitting across from you, he extended his legs out.
Your limbs moved with a splash as you brought your knees to your chest, allowing him some room for his legs.
“Bring ‘em over here,” he hummed, a little wave of his hand as he motioned to your half-hidden legs. You placed them over his under the water, immediately feeling one of his hands gripping onto your calf to adjust you slightly.
He sank down against the back of the tub, settling in nicely. Your gaze remained on his, watching a little drop in his eyelids as he relaxed. “It is really nice.”
You opened your eyes further at his words, blinking some haze from your vision as you fully focused on him. “I should take baths much more often”
“Of course,” he continued, “it’s not the same when I’m alone.”
You couldn’t really see through the bath water given the amount of bubbles, but his hands never ceased moving over your legs. Small traces of fingertips mixed with the kneading into the skin, you found yourself subconsciously slipping deeper into the tub and closer towards him.
The peaceful silence settled around the two of you. The only sound was coming from the speaker, quiet lulling of the music fitting the mood perfectly.
Harry’s hand on your leg was mindlessly rubbing on your skin, dancing from your ankle to your knee with slow movements before repeating the same action on your other leg.
“Feels nice,” you murmured after a moment – a few seconds a few minutes, you had no idea.
“Yeah?”
“Mm,” you hummed, not missing the little twitch in his lip. “You know I love your hands.”
He laughed, thumb massaging into your calf. “And what else do you love about me?”
You knew he was teasing, but you felt your heart beat a bit faster in your chest. Only letting out a breathy laugh, giving him a shove with your foot before he joined in your laughter.
“You know,” he said, after a moment in silence. “I can try and massage some of those knots out your back if you’d like.”
“You think so?” You asked, even though you knew that he was probably right, you didn’t know why you’d never thought of it before.
He nodded. “Especially with your muscles all relaxed in this hot water.”
You didn’t need much convincing after that, the idea being one of the best you’d heard all day.
Turning a bit awkwardly in the tub, you moved until you were sitting between Harry’s legs with your back towards him. Rising your legs a bit, you leant forward on to rest your elbows on your knees so that you could expose more of your back.
With a splash in the water, Harry brought both arms out and placed his hands on either side of your back. His hands were warm, the entire bathroom was steamy and warm but Harry always seemed that much warmer.
You felt him trail his palms over the upper part of your back, gently pressing into your skin. He more or less knew where you had issues, but he wanted to feel it out first.
“It’s here?” He spoke, voice cutting though the comfortable silence after a moment as he gently pressed his fingertips under one of your shoulder blades.
You nodded, before speaking. “Yeah,” bringing one of your own hands around to press into a particularly tight spot just under your shoulder. “And here too, and then –” you moved your hand lower to the beginning of your ribs. “Here.”
He only hummed, both hands on one side of your back before he slowly pressed a thumb into the skin under your shoulder. You tightened your muscles on instinct, tensing up at the slight pain before willing yourself to relax back down.
“Relax, m’love,” he hummed into your ear, letting his lips brush over your neck before moving back again. You still hadn’t gotten used to the way he talked to you so affectionately, especially when he added “my” in front of his names for you. He really made you swoon in ways you had never thought possible.
You dropped your shoulder, doing your best to relax your muscles as much as they would allow. “Really tense,” he spoke again, few more seconds of rubbing into the knot.
It was already feeling a bit better, although the knot was tight and hurt when he applied more pressure you knew he could apply a bit more. “Can you press harder?”
He wordlessly followed your instruction, having your head dip down a bit until your chin hit your chest and your eyes were falling shut.
He massaged into your skin while slowly adding more pressure, both hands moving along the expanse of your back.
You hummed low in your throat when he pressed against the spot by your ribs. Shifting a bit in the tub, feeling Harry’s thighs squeeze your hips. “Is it okay?”
“Yeah,” your voice cracked, needing to pause to cough slightly before you spoke again. “Just a really sore spot.”
He didn’t say anything else from behind you, fingertips moving away from the spot for a moment. You could hear him shift in the tub behind you, water splashing as he readjusted himself.
Feeling a very light pressure, one that that wasn’t his fingers but rather his lips against the knot in your back as pressed a gentle kiss on your sin.
He pressed another, and another before his hands were back on the spot, tightly kneading into the skin. “Feels good?”
You only nodded with a hum, as he continued to work on the spot with the occasional kiss to your skin.
Minutes passed, and you were slowly relaxing further against him. Your legs unfolding and extending forward, feeling Harry’s legs on your side close you in further. Although there was still a small distance kept between your back and his front to make room for his hands, you found yourself shifting closer to him.
His hands moved around your sides, thumbs pressing gently into the sides of your breasts. He was kissing over every place his fingertips touched on your back, soft hums against your skin as his chin nudged your spine.
He rested his chin over your shoulder, cheek nudging your neck as he muttered close to your ear.
“Feeling better?”
You again had to clear your throat before speaking. “Feels a lot better thank you,” you hummed, turning your head slightly to catch the corner of his grin in a kiss.
He clicked his tongue. “No, no I’m not done.” His hand moved to your jaw, gently turning your head back to face forward once more.
You laughed lightly, following his order and facing the off-white tile of the wall in front of you.
Though he said he wasn’t done, he didn’t start to massage into your skin right away. Instead you felt his lips press on the crook of your neck, moving down to your shoulder as he trailed a series of kisses down your skin.
“Mm,” he hummed, sound low in your ears. “I love how you still smell like coffee.”
“I do not,” you laughed softly, lifting your hands from under the water with a splash.
“Yes,” his mouth moved against the curve your shoulder, “you do.” His teeth nipped over your skin.
He sighed heavy in his chest, lips sliding over to the nape of your neck. “I love how you always get goosebumps,” he spoke quietly. “Even now in the steaming hot bath.”
Your shoulders shook slightly with a quiet laugh, knowing he was right that you often got goosebumps under his touch, not matter the temperature around you.
His hands slid down your shoulders and to your front, wrapping around your tummy and pulling your closer to him along the bottom of the tub. “I,” he sighed heavy again, chest rising over your back. “Love how you feel with me – can’t seem to get enough.”
His thumbs grazed the underside of your breasts. His lips were still against your skin, feeling them move as he spoke and pressed random kisses over your back.
He murmured your name, sounding so soft off his mouth and deep from his chest. Your head was spinning; you didn’t know if it was from the heat in the air, from the lack of hydration or from the words the man behind you was kissing into your skin.
“I love you.”
The words were quiet, so quiet that if you weren’t pressed against him you wouldn’t have heard it. He kissed a spot over your spine as he whispered the three little words, no doubt feeling every function of your body come to a stop.
This time he didn’t stop you when your head turned over your shoulder to face him.
He quickly spoke again. “I don’t expect you to say anything, I just –” he paused with a slow exhale, like he was letting go of everything he was possibly holding on to. “I just wanted to tell you.”
You shifted around, legs moving so that you could bend them and fully turn around in the space of the tub until your front was facing his.
He moved as well, allowing your space so that you could sit on his thighs in a straddle. Hands wrapped around your back under the water, holding you in place on top of him.
His eyes were intent on you, jumping between each of your eyes as he tried to gage any possible reaction you could have to his words.
There was a small furrow between his brows, one that you wanted to smooth your thumb over and kiss. Lifting both arms out of the water, you gently wrapped them around his neck to pull him in even closer.
“You do?”
You felt drunk on him. The slight teasing tone in your voice wasn’t completely on purpose, you couldn’t help the words tumbling from your mouth.
Though, Harry laughed. A small laugh that came from his chest, as that furrow between his eyebrows disappeared and a smile graced his mouth. He dipped his down forehead falling against your shoulder for a moment.
“I do,” he hummed, pressing a kiss to the curve of your neck before lifting his head back up. “And I really – I really love you.”
Your shoulders dropped, letting go of tension you didn’t realize you were currently holding. His hands on your back squeezed your skin lightly, pulling your tighter against him.
Face nearing yours, you didn’t realize how close you had gotten as you were subconsciously leaning in closer with your eyes zeroed in on his.
Your voice came out a bit hoarse, a quiet little rasp from the back of your throat. “I love you too.”
His hands gripped your even tighter, causing you to shift over his thighs until your chest were fully pressed together. “Do you now?”
You wanted to laugh out loud, instead a quiet laugh shook through your chest as you felt your chest warm more than it already was. You pushed against him with your palms pressed flat above his chest. “Stop that.”
His hands slid lower on your back, squeezing the skin above your hips as he smiled wide. “Tell me again.”
“No,” you dipped your face against his shoulder, cheek pressed into his neck.
“Tell me,” he chuckled, gripping the soft skin of your hips with a nudge of his chin over your temple. “I wanna hear you say it again.”
You peppered a light kiss over his collarbone. One hand moved up his chest, cupping his jaw loosely as you pulled away from the curve of his neck. Not saying anything, you met his happy eyes with your own while following the curve of his cheek with your thumb.
Brushing over his skin, the tips of his hair falling forward ticking your hand as it moved up his jaw, parted fingers weaving through his hair. Your other hand repeating the same motion, this time lightly moving your thumb over his pinkened lips, keeping a firm hold of his jaw.
You pushed moved yourself closer to him once again, pressing a soft kiss to his mouth. His lips instantly puckered with yours, eyes falling shut when he moved to meet your mouth.
He kissed you lightly, although the firm hold that he had around your hips told a different story. Moving you closer to him, your knees readjusting under the water as they planted firmly against the smooth white of the tub.
Hips jutting into his, you gripped him tighter. Your lips parted with a subtle smacking sound that would have been inaudible to anyone else, kissing one, two, three more times on his mouth before whispering, “I love you.”
You felt his lips turn up against yours, his cheeks rounding under your fingertips.
One of his hands rounded around the back of your neck, pulling you back in to kiss him deeply. His tongue easily met yours as you sighed into his mouth, twisting your fingers through his hair. He quietly whispered your name against your lips, licking over your lips gently before pulling you in for another kiss.
Your hands now slid down his shoulders, down his chest under the water in the tub. You felt him shiver against you, unsure if it was at the affect of your touch on him or of the cooling water of the tub Your mouths parted with a wet smack, his lips nudging the underside of your jaw as he nipped at the sensitive skin.
Your own lips were resting against his temple, hands circling around his hips as you could feel his hardening length pressing into your thigh.
“You’re hard,” you observed, mumbling into his skin.
He laughed lightly, voice sounding a little breathless. “I got the most gorgeous girl sitting on my lap, telling me she loves me,” he pulled you forward, causing the water around you to splash against the side of the tub. “How could I not be?”
You giggled against his skin, letting him tug you closer until the bubbles stuck to your skin were getting squished between the both of your chests. Moving one of your hands from his hips to land it gently under the way over top of his thigh, letting your nails dig gently into his skin.
Lips slid against each once again, a bit more fire under your actions as your tongue slid against his and your chests heaved with heavier breaths. You could tell that he was extremely aware of the soft brushes of your fingers over his thigh, as you slowly inched your palm higher up.
You could hear his breath hitch and his mouth slack over yours when your hand slipped up to grab a light hold of his cock. Simply holding him in your hand for a beat, letting your lips fall from his mouth down to his jaw, before licking wet stripe under his earlobe. He was leaning into your touch, chest falling against yours as his arms wrapped tighter around your lower back.
His legs jolted slightly when you stroked your hand over him, his knees rising with a small bend in his legs that had you falling into him even more. He brought one of his hands from your back and up from under the water, taking a light hold of your chin to tilt your head back up to his.
His mouth was on yours in a matter of seconds, biting into your bottom lips before kissing your deeply. You tugged on his length from under the water, thumbing over his tip as circled around him. Your hand falling over him again, applying more pressure when he moaned quietly against you.
“Fuck,” he called softly, as you kept working your hand over him. Moving away from you again, he leant against the back of the tub with a blissed out smile over his lips and heavy eyelids. “That feels good.”
You leaned in to him, kissing over the skin of his neck that was newly exposed to you. “Good,” you breathed over his neck, your thumb following the vein that ran on the underside of him. “I love making you feel good.”
Leaning forward to kiss over his collarbone, tasting the slight remains of soapy bubbles on his skin as your lips moved over him. You grazed your fingertips along his sensitive skin, as he involuntarily bucked his hips up into your hand, soft moan coming from his throat.
His fingertips dug into your skin. “Do you,” he breathed. “D’you want to get out of the tub? The water’s getting cold.”
You hummed against him, not stopping the motions of your hands under the water. “What do you say we do after then?”
A quick tug at your hips had him bringing your attention back to his face. One of his hands nudged the bottom of your chin, further tilting your head up to his. “Going to take you to bed.”
You were both quick, not too quick as to not slip on the bottom of the tub, to get out and drain the water. Harry had wrapped a big warm towel around your shoulders, rubbing at your arms as he hugged you from behind.
His hips were pressing tightly into your backside, a quiet grunt was heard from him as you pushed back into his hardening cock. With his arms around you, he dipped his head down to quickly find your neck with his lips, gracing it with a smattering of kisses.
“Harry,” you murmured, tightening the towel around your shoulders. Watching him through the mirror, you brought a hand up to brush through his hair. “Harry,” you called, tugging lightly on the strands to get his attention.
“Sunshine,” he mumbled against the skin of your neck, arms tightening around your middle. You felt him pressing hard against your bum, teeth nipping into your skin over your shoulder.
“Thought you said something about taking me to bed.”
He took you off guard, spinning you around in his arms so that your backside was pressed against the ledge of the bathroom counter. He glanced at you with a glint in his eyes. “We have to get dried off first.”
His hands rested over yours, easily having you release the towel from your hold as instead he grabbed the soft material. Dragging the fabric over your back, letting the front fall open as his gaze fell along with the towel.
Bending at his knees slightly, dipping his head down to kiss over water drops that were running down your chest. You held your breath, already feeling wetness pool where you knew he was headed, and you were growing slightly impatient.
He fully dropped down to his knees, letting the towel fall down to your legs along with him. His towel covered hands ran along your calves, moving up over your knees in small motions. You glanced down at him, watching as he focused on ever small drop of water covering your skin.
“So soft,” he murmured, one hand skimming and pulling over the skin of your thighs. He brought his other hand with the towel to brush over the swell of your ass, gripping and releasing the skin a few times in his hand before letting the towel fall to the ground and wrapping both hands around your hips.
You couldn’t keep your eyes away from him, surprisingly not feeling cold as you usually did when you got out of a bath or shower. He wrapped a hand around your hip to pull you closer to him, one of your hands still resting against the bathroom counter. His other hand slowly smoothed around your inner thigh, pulling on the soft flesh as he prompted you to part your legs wider for him.
He leaned in closer, pressing a single kiss to your inner thigh with lingering lips. The simple motion had you in a frenzy, your heart starting to beat faster in your chest as you could practically hear his thought process.
In the time you had been together, although still quite short, you had quickly learned Harry’s affinity for getting a taste of you. Whether it was slow and deep as he edged you on, or quick and wet to bring you to a quick orgasm, he seemed to continuously enjoy going down on you.
Which was no surprise when he glanced up at you with a stupid little smile, telling you “I think I have to dry you off with my mouth.”
The comment was a completely ridiculous concept, but you didn’t have a chance to tell him as he nudged you against the counter, keeping your thighs parted with one hand and leant in to plant a kiss over your clit.
Wrapping a hand around your thigh, with the other pushing against your folds to part them further as he teased over you with his fingertips. Kissing over you once more, his tongue poked out from parted lips to flick over the sensitive bit of nerves.
You knew you were wet, had been before he had touched you and obviously, he knew it too, but it still sent a warmth through your tummy when Harry muttered “don’t think you’re just wet from the bath, angel.”
You whined into the air, not having the capacity to think of anything to say back to him as he licked over your slit, finding wetness pooling at your entrance. You jolted under his touch when he moved his tongue back up to your clit, lips circling around it with light flicks with the tip of his tongue.
A hand landed in his hair, gripping on his tightly when he dragged his fingers around your sensitive inner thigh and to where you wanted to feel them. As much as he liked to get a taste of you, he liked to tease you.
Keeping light movements over your clit, his tongue darted down to circle around your entrance once more with a muffled moan when you whined his name. Pulling back for a second, be placed a light kiss over your clit as you spoke a broken call for him once again, before he was pushing a finger inside of you.
As much as he liked to tease you, he loved to give you what you wanted just as much.
It was rushed, and messy, and just like two people who wanted to feel the other as much as they could, far too desperate for the other.
He had you gripping the countertop tightly with on hand, the other hanging on for dear life in his hair. You could feel the beginning of the burn in the pit of your stomach, and you tugged on him just a bit harder to grab his attention. “Harry,” you whined, repeating his name again.
Humming against you, he moved his mouth over to the fleshy inside of your thigh and bit over the skin with a wet kiss. “What’s that?”
“Take me to bed,” you breathed, wanting nothing more than to feel him inside of you. “Fuck me.”
He gazed up at you for a moment, dark eyes meeting yours before peppering another kiss over your thigh. Moving up slightly, slowly lifting himself from his spot kneeled between you. Grazing light touches over your hipbone, over your stomach, over your breast.
Pressing your palms against his shoulder, pushing him back slightly as you searched for one of his hands to grab. He easily complied to you as you pushed off the counter, sidestepping Harry as you pulled him by the arm.
He wrapped that arm around your chest, standing behind you as he let you lead him out of the washroom. Walking you to his bed with his arm swung around your front, keeping your back pressed closely against him while messily kissing the side of your face.
Blindly finding his bed, you turned and fell out of Harry’s grasp as you let yourself fall onto the soft comforter. You were both slightly damp, but neither of you cared.
Moving until your head rested by the pillows at the head of the bed, Harry didn’t follow over you right away, and instead walked around the mattress to stand by the side.
“C’mere,” you spoke quietly reaching out to grab hold of his hand.
He met the edge of mattress as you pulled him closer to you, wanting to feel him over you. He held your gaze with a slight grin, biting his lips before leaning down towards you and murmuring, “not going to fuck you,” his breath sent goosebumps all over your neck. “Gonna make love to you.”
“Come here.” You repeated, grabbing his hand and tugging him down as he let out a small laugh while he fell over you. His lips landed over the crook of your neck, as your legs parted to make room for him over you.
“That’s it,” he hummed over your skin, pushing his hips against yours as his lips danced over your skin and his hands roamed your sides. “D’you want me like this?”
You whined into the air, his palm smoothing over your breast as he pinched your nipple between his fingers and brought his mouth to yours.
“Yes,” you paused, hugging his waist with your thighs as you hooked a leg over his ass to push him further against you. “Just like this.”
His lips fell from your mouth, forehead pressing into your cheek. You could feel him over your folds, nudging his hips up so that his tip pushed over your clit. Involuntarily spreading your thighs wider for him, you whimpered at the light contact.
Impatient, you brushed your hand down from his shoulder and over his hips, reaching for his cock between the two of you to help slip him in. Rising his head from the crook of your neck, he glanced at you with a lazy smirk when you gripped his length in your palm.
Running him over you, you let one of your knees hit the mattress as he slowly inched inside of you. Each letting out sounds in unison; you a breathy moan at the feeling of him filling you and him a quick grunt as he bucked into you.
“Every fuckin’ time,” he groaned, lips mouthing against your jaw.
He gripped your thigh in one hand, fingertips digging into the skin as he hooked your leg tighter around him. Hugging him with your legs, you urged him to keep moving as the slow grinds into your hips were driving you crazy.
He seemed to feel the same way, pulling back and fucking into you harder each time. He had your head nudging the pillow under your head, your fingers holding on for deal life in his hair and you were moaning up against his jaw.
He was unable to go long without having his mouth on yours, stealing sloppy kisses as his hips pumped into yours with muttered praises along the lines of “such a pretty cunt,” and “taking me in so good.”
The way his lips grazed over your earlobe as he spoke, the way he let you hear every moan and whimper that left his lips, the way he spoke to you with a deep low drawl made you whine into the air with nothing but desire for him.
Having him so desperately and passionately made you feel drunk, like you were going to float off the bed. That is, if the feeling of your hips digging into the mattress with ever pound of his hips, and his weight over and inside of you was not making you bite your lip so hard at the sheer intensity of it.
“You feel good?” He posed it as a question this time, lifting his head from where he was biting into your neck as his nose nudged yours.
You repeated his words from before with a nod, a throaty moan when you met his eyes. “Every time.”
He groaned over you, catching your mouth in a kiss. “Love fucking you –”
You were pushed up on the mattress again, the pillow bending oddly under your head but it was the last thing on your mind right now. His hand smoothed over the side of your face, caressing your forehead lightly – a contrast to the fast and sinful pumps of his cock inside of you.
Blinking your eyes shut, you were surprised to find a damp coldness caught in your eyelashes. Realizing the small tears – only out of happiness – lining your waterline as you quickly blinked again.
He stole a kiss from your mouth, as you lifted your head up to meet him hallway. “Love making love with you –”
His hand left your hair, instead reaching up to grip the headboard with a quick desperation. Your head fell back against the pillow, a strangled moan past your lips as all you could do was nod in agreement. You raised your hand from his shoulder, reaching back as you blindly searched for where his hand had his tight hold over the worn wood. Covering the pack of his hand with your palm, both of you holding for dear life as you grew more desperate to cum.
“Oh –” you arched your back against him, meeting his movements halfway. His other hand was still holding a firm hold around your thigh, hitting a new deepness when your hips met up with his. “Like that – again.”
“Yeah?” His breath fanned over your chinned, his hair falling down over his forehead as his pace was unrelenting. “Wanna give it to you – fuck,” he cut himself off, feeling you squeeze him tighter. “Please tell me your close.”
You dug your nails into the skin of his back, calling his name into the air as his lips found your neck. “Yeah,” you voice was breathy, distant. “Just a bit more.”
He was hitting the perfect spot inside of you, repeatedly making you see stars. His hand unwrapped from your hip, sneaking between both your bodies as his fingers quickly found your clit. Collecting wetness from where you connected, then met the sensitive bundle with messy but effective strokes.
You loved every kind of sex with him – slow and passionate or like now, quick and both desperate for each other that neither of you cared it didn’t take very long to get there.
You were pushing your hips to his, gripping for dear life on his hand over the headboard while call after call of his name left your mouth.
“Love you,” he whimpered, lifting his head with a nudge of his chin over yours. “I love you.”
You felt as if your eyes were rolling into the back of your head. He felt so incredibly deep and close to you. Confessions of love over your mouth had your stomach flip and your core clenching around him. You realized you had never had a partner tell you they loved you during sex, you had never felt this intimately close to anyone in your life.
“Love you more –” the end of your sentence was cut off by your own moan.
Meeting your release around him, whimpering his name against his skin as he was unrelenting over you. Your hips bucked with his movements, pushing yourself against his hand that paid attention to your clit. It was all for too overwhelming, mixed with the confessions of love that ran through your head.
Your motions were getting slower, the hard pumps of his hips over yours the last bit of what he needed. Barely getting the chance to warn you, a quick breath of “I’m coming –” over your ear before he was pushing everything he had inside of you.
His hand let go of the headboard along with yours, flipping your palm in his to interlocked your hands over the duvet cover. He was muttering endless praise to you, endless breaths of your name as you both came down from your highs together.
With his chest pressed against yours, he gazed up at you with heart shaped eyes. He bit his smile down, a little laugh leaving past his lips as you raised a hand from his bicep to push his hair out of his face. You kissed his smile, his mouth easily opening for you as you both savoured the other in a brief calm moment.
He kissed the side of your cheek, leaving a small trail as he kissed over the corner of your eyes, not doubt noticing the small wet patches from the small tears that escaped your eyes in the overwhelming intimacy.
He didn’t say anything right away, but you could see the corners of his lips curve to a light smile. “You okay?”
A slow nod, you took a heavy swallow to help your dry throat before speaking. “Yeah, I just,” you paused, searching for the right words. “It’s never been like that. I’ve never… felt like that.”
He was silent for a moment, watching you intently. “In a good way,” you quickly added. “In the best way.”
“I know,” he muttered against your mouth, pushing himself up over you as you unhooked your ankles from around his thighs to let him move off of you. Withdrawing from inside of you, you could already feel him making a small mess over the crest of your thighs but you didn’t care, that was a problem for later.
You let out a breathless sigh, grazing his cheek with your fingertips as you watched his eyes flick over every inch of your face. Slowly lowering his face once more, pressing a soft but firm kiss over the corner of your lips.
He fell to his side, lying on his hip with his up half still supported over top of you. “Think I love you even more after that.”
#okay im off ! happy reading everyone#pls let me know what u think and all as usual ! <33#cb#harry styles#harry styles writing#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles imagine#harry styles smut#harry styles fanfic#harry x reader#harry styles x reader
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So like, y’all know pinescone (Wirt x dipper) and Reverse Falls, right?
Well just imagine Rev! Wirt
Instead of being a shy and serious guy he’d be the overdramatic theatre kid everyone either really loves or really hates.
He’d wear loose shirts that that aren’t completely buttoned up and constantly have the hot, messy I-just-woke-up look and he won’t clean his messes.
Instead of being the one getting Bill (or in this case Will) and Dipper out of violence/trouble and calming their arguments down he would be the devil on your shoulder encouraging it and maybe starting some fights and getting in trouble himself.
He would abuse the power of being Dipper’s (and Will if you’re a poly/multi shipper) boyfriend without hesitating and not be polite or respectful to anyone, including to Dipper.
Except Will. Will would be the exception.
He flirts with everyone, mostly Dipper though, and is in constant need for attention. He would be the incarnation of “IM GAY AND IN NEED OF ATTENTION!”
He would still write poems, but instead of them being romantic like canon Wirt, they would be the type to cause a one-night stand.
He is the town’s charmer and playboy, yet no matter how many people he flirts with, his eyes are only set for Dipper (and Will)
He is well-read like his canon counterpart, but enjoying the sophisticated or famous works of Sylvia Plath, Edgar Allen Poe, Earnest Hemingway, and Jane Austen would be a secret he takes to his grave (until he finds out Will and Dipper actually like those writers and decides to be somewhat more open about his romantic poet side)
He definitely a Hamilton nerd because canon Wirt definitely is and you cannot tell me otherwise, but for different reasons.
He loves Hamilton for its active, go-crazy songs like Lafayette’s rapping or the king’s possessive songs (while canon Wirt likes the more poetic, romantic or serious songs like Burn and Who Tells Your Story)
Rev! Wirt would defiantly be the type to keep up with fast-paces songs and knows the entire playlist to his favorite musicals and songs like the back of his hand.
He’s not afraid of challenges, especially drinking or singing contests, because how many lyrics he knows and how high his alcohol tolerance is.
He doesn’t get along with Rev! Pacifica that much because before he started dating Dipper, she would constantly streak his attention from Wirt when Dipper still had a crush on her.
Also yes I do ship Rev! Pacifica and Rev! Mabel whether you like it or not.
P.S. Rev! Wirt knows how to tango and will hold a rose between his teeth to flirt with Dipper.
#reverse falls#gravity falls#gravity falls au#will cipher#otgw wirt#reverse wirt#dipper pines#reverse Mabel#reverse dipper#reverse Pacifica#pinescone#reverse pinescone
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LMAO SO
prison - I'm assuming you already know this lmao



I can’t find the magazine scan but Gerard also said it was inspired by the hotel bender(hence the ‘gonna string that mf on fire’ line) where they kidnapped the interviewer. ‘This song got us arrested in France cuz it’s about being fucked in the arse’ ‘this song is about being fucked in prison’ etc. also in the thank you section for Three Cheers he thanks "Bert, for being my cellmate". and Bert does backup vocals on it. (I feel like there's something about this song I forgot to add but idk sorry)
Sound Effects and Overdramatics by the Used - ‘this song is about how sweet and tasty Gerard’s asshole is’ that’s the whole story behind that one idk
Disenchanted - this is specifically about the demo ‘Shut Up And Play’ that they started performing in 2005 - after Bert and Gerard had their falling out in mid 2005 and basically started hating each other, Bert showed up to an MCR show with a megaphone telling people not to watch them. When asked Gerard said the incident was disappointing and all they could do was ignore him and keep playing - obviously matches up to the lyrics and Gerard said this about it
Choke Me by the Used - Bert said it was about the sexual tension between him and Quinn Allman(former guitarist for the Used) after they got in a fistfight
Blue and Yellow by the Used - Bert said it’s the most emotionally significant song on their self titled, that it's about ‘a soft love’ and it's about Quinn
interview where they talk about blue & yellow and choke me
(side note Quinn got kicked out in like 2015 and Bert has started changing the story behind blue and yellow & saying it’s about different people)
Paralyzed by the Used - the line ‘how could a fistfight be romantic’ in the chorus, it’s probably about Quinn idk
Clean Cut Heals by the Used - again listening to it it seems likely to be about Quinn but who knows
im not gonna try & talk about the fall out boy songs cuz I just don't know enough about fall out boy lol
Oh obviously pretty handsome awkward, as everyone knows is about Gerard and the pretty handsome awkward EP has Slit Your Own Throat and Devil Beside You so those are probably about Gerard as well



THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!
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can you maybe do some hcs w kuroo tsukishima and oikawa when their s/o is being bullied by people from school?
love me some savage haikyuu boys 😈
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KUROO, TSUKISHIMA AND OIKAWA REACTING TO THEIR S/O BEING BULLIED
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KUROO
kuroo is a perspective little shit
he analysis’ anything and everything
he isn’t called the scheming captain for nothing
so when he notice’s his s/o feeling down or acting different from normal he will find out what’s bothering them
he’ll ask you first
and if you’re not willing to give clear answers he’ll just find out himself
he doesn't want to overstep privacy boundaries
but if you’re being upset by something he feels like it’s his duty as your boyfriend to sort it out
so one day you’re waiting for him after practice
and you both usually meet outside the gym doors to talk home together
however
this time you’ve unfortunately encountered the people who have been making school life unbearable for you
“look its stupid little y/n!”
“why are you still here? waiting for your boyfriend like some sort of lost dog?”
“i don’t know how he puts up with you”
“so clingy and desperate for support i feel so bad for him”
they have you cornered and you’re outnumbered by far
kuroo has been waiting outside the gym doors for 5 minutes now and is confused
you’re never ever late
so he wanders around looking for you since you aren't answering your phone
now kuroo is annoying but he isn’t stupid
he’s had a hunch about what’s been bothering you lately
he’s noticed a few kids often hang behind class until you leave and they seem to surround you when you’re trying to leave your classroom
he never intervened because he didn’t want to wrongly accuse them of harassing you in case you were friends with them
but you still didn’t look particularly thrilled when you got away from them
so kuroo hears some familiar voices and he heads straight over to them
“don’t cry y/n you don't want to look even more ugly than you already do”
“oh look y/n’s crying they can't even handle a few jokes”
“your boyfriend might even dump you when he sees you”
“the only ones who need dumping are all of you into a pit of fire 🥰”
there stands the 6′2, muscular built, powerhouse school national level volleyball captain with the coldest look he’s ever had
the kids surrounding you are dead silent
“what? nobodies got anything to say now? i thought we were all just laughing and joking with each other so why’d we stop now?”
kuroos eyes soften as soon as they meet yours
he’s grabbed your hand and pulled you tightly into his chest
“i don't think much of a warning needs to be made but let me make this clear just this once because i don't like having to remind people things, come near her, approach, talk about or to her again and you’re going to have a personal problem with me and my team. got it?”
lmfao the little bitches nod trembling and run 🏃🏽♀️
kuroo is such a science nerd who makes awful jokes and has the worlds most obnoxious laugh
but he’s also a man and a captain and sometimes it’s easy to forget that
he can pick and choose when and what he wants to be perceived as
and right then he has chosen to show you who he really can be
“why didn’t you tell me angel?”
“i didn’t want to have to bother you”
“oh baby you’re never ever a bother to me. im sorry i couldn't help sooner please never hesitate to tell me if anything like this happens again”
kuroo’s warning sticks with your bullies and they don't bother you anymore
the volleyball team and coach nekomata are throwing dirty ass looks at them too nfjdsbfjs
all in all, kuroo just wants you to know he is there to support you
and he’ll do anything to make sure you’re happy and comfortable
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TSUKISHIMA
lmao all i’ve got to say to your bullies is good luck
because if tuski finds out you’ve been bullying his s/o
you’re done for
this boy has no mercy
he doesn't even need to physically fight
his words can cut deeper than any knife and he knows it
so when he notices you've been feeling more anxious around school and clinging to him a little more
he grows sus
he’s immediately closing in on who is bothering you and what insults he wants to throw at them
tuski has an exam and it runs a little into lunch
he told you that if it runs over than you can just wait by your classroom and he’d come and get you
however while you’re waiting you have a run in with the students who have been giving you a hard time
just like tuski you’re a student who thrives in academics
so a few of your classmates aren't particularly fond of your constant reign of lead in your class
“ew y/n you gross weirdo why are you here?”
“they’re probably waiting for their boyfriend to come and pick them up”
“such an entitled little shit, waiting to be collected who do you think you are”
so far you’d done pretty well ignoring them
but that was in an environment with many other students who’d call your bullies out if they were to step out of line in class
right now you’re an easy target though
nobody to protect you
well that’s what you thought anyway
you feel your bag get snatched from your hands and thrown to the ground
the bullies are kicking your stuff around laughing while you have no choice but to watch is despair
that's until one of them is tripped up and lands face flat onto the ground
“you think i should kick them around and see if they can take it?”
tuski is standing there with a dark smile on his face
“so brave of you to pick on my y/n when you all have the audacity to look the way you do and don't even get me started on your academics”
“if i were you'd just apologise to your parents now because realistically what are you all going to do in your lives? success doesn't really look like it fits any of you to be honest”
the other students don't even know what to say
they can't exactly say anything
tsukishima is known to have a sharp tongue with an endless flow of direct insults
“it’d be a shame if a teacher were to find out about this wouldn't it. im thinking suspension maybe? perhaps you should all call your parents up right now and apologise for your inevitable suspension”
the bullies look at each other nervously
he couldn’t be serious right
“im waiting”
these kids whip out their phones and are calling their confused parents trying to explain about how they could be suspended
“now off you all go, get out of my sight and don't you dare come near her again”
they be sprinting out the hallways
“you weren’t actually gonna get them suspended were you?”
“it was depending on how fast they called their parents really”
tsukishima is on the floor helping you gather you trashed things
“im annoyed you didn't tell me. don't keep things like this from me yeah? cause not only am i here for you but, i get a kick out of it to. besides, im the only one who gets to be playfully mean to you.”
and he’ll make sure to keep a closer eye on you and keep you around him for a little longer just till he’s certain you’ve been left alone
OIKAWA
fangirls
the absolute bane of his existence
oikawa appreciated the support but it was overbearing sometimes
especially when he just wants to spend time with his precious y/n-chan
in front of him, his fangirls would be so polite and supportive
“you and y/n look so good together”
“i hope you’re treating them well”
“oikawa is is lucky”
but behind his back these girls were nothing but vicious and spiteful towards you
you knew you’d have to deal with his fangirls at some point
you’d decided to keep your relationship hidden for the first few months until oikawa suggested going public and you felt like you couldn’t say no
you’d hear comments as you walked through the halls
classes would’ve been a nightmare if iwaizumi wasn’t in your class
he knew you were struggling with oikawa’s fangirls but you pleaded him not to say anything to his best friend
iwaizumi didn't exactly want to keep this from oikawa but he also didn't want to go against your wishes
you compromised instead and told iwaizumi about everything the fangirls put you through and sometimes he’d even take it lightly into his own hand
despite the fact you had oikawa’s best friend looking out for you, this was also a reason the bullying got worse
“you think you can get iwaizumi to back you up now? you want the whole team or what?”
yes
“stop being so overdramatic oikawa shouldn’t have to put up with someone as fragile as you”
“he can do so much better did you manifest or do witchcraft to get him to date you?”
the comments had become so common to you they started to have no effect
you slowly became more and more emotionally unavailable and this was something oikawa had started to pick up on
“y/n-chan you’ve stopped smiling at me so much. have i upset you?”
at first he’d think he did something wrong and he’d desperatly rack his brain for anything he could’ve done to offend you
“no you haven’t tooru i’ve just been tired lately”
you’d lie and give him a small fake smile
but oikawa has given enough fake smiles in his life and is more than capable of being able to tell a real smile to a fake one
like kuroo though, he wouldn’t want to push any privacy boundaries and can only hope you’d open up to him soon
it doesn’t mean he’s not going to be watching you even closer now
he’ll ask iwaizumi whether he’s seen a change in your behaviour
iwaizumi has finally decided this has gone too far
“idiot do you not see it’s your shitty fangirls that are making them miserable?”
“my fangirls?”
“yes your fangirls. y/n can’t catch a break with them around they’re really nasty to her and i don’t know how it’s taken you so long to see”
now that oikawa thinks about it you do cling to him a little tighter when they’re around
you don’t thank them for their ‘compliments’ about your relationship with the setter
you go extremely quiet and anxious when they’re around
oikawa had just thought it was nerves from sudden attention
he didn’t realise they had been secretly harassing you
so oikawa goes to wait outside your locker when the day ends
“tooru shouldn't you be at practice?”
“come with me” he says sternly but he’s giving you a reassuring look as he grips your hand securely in his larger one
he walks you quickly through the halls and round to the entrance of the gym where his fangirls are usually waiting for practice to start
“oikawa-san! why aren’t you in uniform? is practice cancelled?”
“oh y/n is here... that's cute”
oikawa is beyond livid just from their presence alone
they even had the nerve to say your name?
“you know what isn’t fucking cute though? your disgusting behaviour”
the fangirls are look between each other innocently
“what do you mean oikawa-san?”
“don’t play oblivious with me you bitches! what was going through your heads when you all thought it was okay to harass MY y/n-chan?!”
the girls are silent now
oikawa is usually so charming and relaxed
nobody sees him worked up outside the court
“there’s a reason none of you have even been allowed to be considered to have the chance to get to know me, you’re all fake. every single one of you. i hate fake people more than anything. this behaviour is gross i want none of you associated with me get out of here and if i hear one more thing about anyone upsetting y/n hell will be broken loose and that won’t just be from me.”
oikawa did not stutter 😌
king
the girls leave immediately
“i think you’ve just lost yourself your whole fan club”
“oh y/n they were never fans if they have the nerve to upset someone they know i love. why didn’t you tell me i would’ve said something sooner”
“i just didn't want to upset you about your fans”
“you’re always going to be the first priority to me always if they or anyone else ever bothers you again, promise you’ll tell me straight away?”
“promise.”
after that he’ll take you to sit on the bench on the side of the court so you can watch him play and he can keep an eye on you
yeah oikawa may seem like a carefree people pleaser
but if you’re upsetting his s/o, you’ll be experiencing the side he tries to keep under control and he won’t be afraid to let loose.
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ALL CONTENT BELONGS TO @KUROOSKULT ON TUMBLR 2020 PLEASE DO NOT REPOST, CHANGE OR PLAGIARISE
#kuroo tetsurou#kuroo x reader#kuroo x you#kuroo hcs#kuroo scenario#tsukishima kei#tsukishima x reader#tsukishima x you#tsukishima hcs#tsukishima scenarios#oikawa tooru#oikawa x reader#oikawa x you#oikawa hcs#oikawa scenarios#haikyuu hcs#haikyuu headcanons#haikyuu#haikyuu!!
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