#and the only way to resolve it is actually to call a professional in and do the likely extensive removal and repairs
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So actually, the core problem is not JUST the method of education. That is a problem. However realistically, we cannot change the education system in a way that will actually benefit those of us who are deemed ‘not worth it’ BECAUSE the capitalist system will not allow it.
A system’s function is what it does. If the American education system consistently has issues with academic dishonesty, then that’s one of the system’s functions: fostering the environment necessary to promote academic dishonesty and cheating.
If we want it to stop doing that, we do actually have to lead by example and SHOW the younger generations that things are worth doing without cutting corners. Even if it takes a long time.
If we were allowed to do that within the confines of capitalism, we would’ve done it already.
This is why while accommodations for disabled students are technically, legally protected and mandatory, you can and do still have disabled and other marginalized students being pushed out of academic spaces by social pressures.
Example: I was denied accommodations I was legally entitled to (as in my family had the money snd resources to do everything right and get me diagnosed and officially medicated) for. SIX. YEARS.
They dragged their feet and hemmed and hawed about whether I really deserved it. Whether I was faking it. Despite how, if we had the money to take them to court, we would’ve won.
I graduated, by the skin of my teeth, after being hospitalized, switching schools, and finally straight up hiring a world renowned therapist who could get away with screaming at my principal.
I got half assed accommodations for a whole two months. Because they were intending to wait me out.
Why?
Because they ‘didn’t have the budget’
Now maybe they did and maybe they didn’t (except my school district is KNOWN for being pretty much the best public school in the area with higher taxes to back that up)
But the fact remains, that when it finally came down to it, money was the reason no one could be bothered to teach me how to factor polynomials. They couldn’t afford to have someone help with my notes, they couldn’t afford to pay someone overtime to stay late and proctor my exams during my extended time. They couldn’t afford it.
And I wish I was an outlier, but I’m not because the “ADHD kid was never diagnosed and/or told they’d never get scholarships and never even applied for college” is SUCH a common story.
I made it to college out of sheer rage and because I’m privileged enough to have a family with the resources to do so.
I was academically dismissed because when COVID happened and enrollment lowered, less tuition meant less money. So guess what got hit first. The accessibility services. So I was hung out to dry despite originally choosing my university because of their disability services.
I’m currently fighting my way through another semester of community college. My professor is grading us on shit that’s not in our textbook, or that we haven’t learned yet, and our lectures are just YouTube tutoring videos. Why?
Because it’s a community college and she’s teaching 7 other classes and can’t even remember our names. Because they don’t have enough money to hire more chem professors.
She talked me out of taking my exam through the testing center and argues with me about my accommodations.
Because once again, the institution meant to teach me now does not have the money to teach the disabled kid.
Now if any of these institutions were given enough money (say by the government) they might have had the ability to allocate funds to maintain the resources to teach me and other kids like me.
But that wouldn’t be very profitable, because the money they COULD spend on hiring people qualified to help the disabled kids could be more EFFICIENTLY spent building fancier buildings in the hopes of bolstering enrollment rates. So that won’t happen. And if disabled kids were considered better investments, our services wouldn’t be the first things these places cut. But we are.
Yes. Eliminating capitalism is very difficult to do.
However as a disabled person I’m kind of sick to death of people who can work within the current system hearing “things need to change. If things do not change people like me will die prematurely in poverty, to say nothing of those already dying for our comforts in the global south”
Only to respond with “I mean. That slow and hard.”
It’s not about improving the education system. It’s about allowing people like me to survive. Because in this society survival is largely dependent on access to education. And right now people like me, with similar struggles but less resources to get help, they are using the most convenient (free) thing possible and cutting corners to succeed.
The issue is the system REWARDS cutting corners. You can crack down on ai. You can put a bandaid on this. It will help a bit. It will get the kids that need help kicked out and drive more of us to self medicate and ultimately die. And everyone will consider this a good thing because those lazy kids were stupid enough to use something to cheat the system.
And it will not fix everything. And the next method of academic dishonesty and cutting corners will come and we will have this conversation again.
And it will all come back to agreeing that yeah. Getting rid of capitalism is hard. And we’ll congratulate ourselves for having this talk and all agree to hope things get better.
And they won’t.
And the marginalized kids like me will learn once again, that people like us don’t get to be smart. And we certainly don’t get to weigh in on ‘intellectual’ topics (since we don’t have degrees) because we are and never will be good enough investments to be considered.
Also yes education on things like critical thinking, reading comprehension, attention span, and more are all very integral to social change.
However, a societal value shift in favor of marginalized, disenfranchised people, does not actually require much intellectual skill beyond learning how to shed this individualist way of thinking. Which actually does not require formal western education! And this is why it’s so important to consider other means of educating oneself and learning from one’s community!
Like once you start caring about and interacting with the people around you from a position of good faith, you inevitably learn things about how others live, and start to bring these concerns into how you live your life. Because suddenly you know a disabled person, you know a person without a degree, you know a recovering addict, you know an un housed person, you know sex workers who work street corners, these people on the fringes of society are no longer hypotheticals, theyre your friends, people you’ve shared meals and stories with. And suddenly you might care about things you never did before.
All without a single degree.
Here are a number of resources on how abolishing capitalism and colonialism is long overdue within academia.
If you have questions with any of those I’d be happy to discuss them, and if you’re feeling overwhelmed THIS is a fantastic primer.
I know this original discussion was about ai, however, as I said earlier, ai usage is a symptom of multiple much larger issues. To truly ‘fix’ the root of this problem is going to be long and complicated and hard. And it still needs to happen.
Kinda pisses me off that there ARE like. Actually effective ways the US could get students to stop using AI to do their schoolwork but those methods don’t follow capitalist and punitive logic and aren’t as easy and ego boosting as patting ourselves on the back and bemoaning how stupid and lazy kids are anymore.
So we’re gonna do the ‘calling kids spoiled and lazy’ thing once again and say “I got through just fine!”because actually taking this seriously and considering the use of AI for homework is a symptom of much larger issues, would force you to reckon with how you’re completely fine with a meritocracy so long as you aren’t at the bottom.
Cause fuck those lazy students, you got yours, right?
#Ik not all of the sources immediately seem like they’re on topic but they do all relate#unfortunately this is a VERY broad subject and it’s difficult to find direct sources#it took hundreds of years to get us here so unfortunately all those things DO still have repercussions actually#and ignoring them with quick fixes is a HUGE part of why it’s gotten this bad#it only stops if we address the source#kind of like how if you have an old house and you keep finding mold#it’s indicative of a MUCH bigger problem (something somewhere is rotting)#and the only way to resolve it is actually to call a professional in and do the likely extensive removal and repairs#yes it costs A LOT and repairs will likely take A WHILE#but it’s that or you subject yourself and others to mold spores for the rest of your lives while your home rots around u
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after hours [bucky barnes x f!reader]
Pairing: Congressman!Bucky Barnes x Personal Assistant!Reader
Synopsis: As Congressman Bucky Barnes' personal assistant, you've always maintained professionalism. But when a late-night work session turns intimate, boundaries blur, and hidden desires come to light.
Word Count: 2000
Tags/warnings: 18+ explicit content. employer x employee, hint of voyeurism, f recieving oral, fingering, just general filth, smidge of plot. there's enough here for a part 2 if it's what the people wanted.
Masterlist
congress & carnality masterlist
The glow of the city skyline filtered through the floor-to-ceiling windows of Congressman Bucky Barnes’ office, casting long shadows over mahogany and leather. The soft hum of your laptop was the only sound filling the room, save for the occasional rustle of paper as you flipped through his notes.
It was well past midnight. The congressional building was deserted. Just you and him, working late—again.
You exhaled, rolling your shoulders to ease the tension there. “You still with me, Congressman?” you teased, not looking up from your screen. The blue light was starting to hurt your eyes.
“I’d be a damn fool to fall asleep while you’re talking.” His voice was low, rough with exhaustion. Or was it something else?
You finally glanced up—and nearly lost your train of thought.
Bucky had discarded his suit jacket hours ago, leaving him in just his crisp white dress shirt, the sleeves rolled up to reveal strong forearms. His tie was loosened, the top button undone, and his hair was slightly disheveled—probably from him running a hand through it out of frustration.
God, he looked good.
You swallowed hard and forced yourself to focus. “Sir, we need to go over your talking points for tomorrow’s press conference.”
Bucky sighed and leaned back in his chair, arms stretching behind his head. The movement made his shirt pull taut across his chest. “Can’t we take a break? And you know you can call me Bucky when we’re in private.”
“We’ve already taken three,” you pointed out, biting your lip, noting how all feelings of professionalism were lost on him right now. “At this rate, you’re going to wing it in front of the entire nation.”
He smirked. “Haven’t I charmed my way out of worse?”
You gave him a pointed look. “You’re not just a charming face, Barnes. You actually have to do your job.”
His smirk faltered, and something unreadable flickered across his face. “You always do that.”
Bucky’s gaze didn’t leave yours. His legs spread wide as he leaned forward in his chair, pressing his elbows into his dress pants and linking his fingers together. He displayed his usual stoic expression, the one that you struggled so much to read.
You frowned. “Do what?”
His eyes searched yours, intense and unwavering. “You see me. Not just the congressman. Not the soldier. Just… me.”
Your breath hitched. You had no idea where this was coming from, but you weren’t sure you were ready for it.
“Bucky…”
“C’mere,” he murmured, his voice softer now.
You hesitated. The air between you felt heavier than before, thick with something unspoken. You’d spent so many nights like this—late hours, stolen glances, brushing fingers when he handed you a file. But neither of you had ever crossed that line.
This felt like the edge of it.
Still, you moved toward him, stopping just short of his desk. “What is it?”
He reached out, his fingers grazing your wrist before trailing up your arm in a slow, deliberate touch. “You work too damn hard,” he murmured, thumb brushing the inside of your wrist. “Always taking care of me. Who takes care of you?”
You let out a shaky breath. “You pay me to take care of you.”
“Hmph, s'pose I do.” His voice had dropped to something even lower, more dangerous.
You should pull away. You should remind him that this was not professional. But the way he was looking at you—like you were the only thing grounding him—made your resolve crumble.
“Bucky…” Your voice was barely above a whisper now.
He stood slowly, stepping around the desk until he was right in front of you. Close enough that you could feel the heat radiating from his body.
“If I cross this line,” he murmured, “I’m not going back.”
His words bit at your skin. Your pulse pounded in your ears. “Maybe I don’t want you to. Maybe I want you.”
His eyes darkened. That was all the permission he needed.
His lips were on yours before you could think, before you could breathe. The kiss was slow at first, almost hesitant—like he was waiting for you to push him away. But when you fisted your hands in his shirt and pulled him closer, he groaned and deepened the kiss, his hands landing on your waist, gripping like he’d been waiting years for this.
Heat coiled low in your stomach as he backed you against the edge of his desk, his thigh slotting between yours.
“This okay?” he rasped against your lips.
You nodded, breathless. “More than okay.”
His lips curled into a smirk before he kissed you again—this time with no hesitation, no restraint.
His movements were slow and controlled, like he had all the time in the world. He pulled you into his lap, hands palming at your waist before running up your chest and stopping at your face. He gazed into your eyes and for a moment, you felt your heart stop.
“You drive me crazy,” Bucky breathes into admittance. “You know how long I’ve wanted to do this?”
His thumb brushes over your lower lip, and on impulse, you press a chaste kiss to the digit. Something primal ignites in Bucky, and he kisses you. Your fingers tangle in his hair, tugging enough just to make him groan into your mouth. The sound sent a shockwave into you, heat pooling low into your stomach. Bucky’s lips left yours, only temporarily, as he trailed down your jaw, your throat, his breath warm as he took his time.
You gasped as his mouth found that one spot just below your ear, his tongue flicking out ton taste your skin before he pressed a slow, open mouthed kiss there.
“You’re always so put together,” he murmured, lips burshing against your pulse point. “So professional.”
His hands slid down your sides, slow and deliberate.
“Tell me to stop.” He whispered, coaxing you.
You couldn’t.
You’re only response was to pull him closer, tilting your head to give him more access. He groaned against your skin, his hands gripping your hips and pushing you up onto his desk, slotting himself between your legs.
Bucky ran his hand up your leg, stopping when he got to your upper thigh, when he started to feel the heat omit from your womanhood. You let out a gasp that you didn’t know you were holding when he suddenly removed his hand and pulled back just enough to look at you — really look at you.
“Been wanting you like this for so damn long,” he admitted, voice rough with restraint. “Look at you, all spread out on my desk.”
You feel your face flush with heat as his gaze racks your body.
“Take me.” You sigh, and Bucky smirks, wasting no time and pushing up your pencil skirt so it bunches at your waist. He pulls your panties down, revealing your glistening folds to him.
“All this… for me?” Bucky asks, his voice dark, but the exasperation isn’t lost on you. He makes you feel small, at his mercy, as his broadness towers over you.
Licking his lip, Bucky hums as he starts working his tongue at you, lapping at your clit and relishing your taste. Your fingernails scratch at the expensive wood table beneath you as your stomach coils with pleasure. The brassiness of his beard scratches at your skin, but it just turns you on even more. He’s good —no doubt had more experience than the average non-Super Soldier guy. His teeth teasingly graze at you, and just as you’re about to finish, he stops, pressing a kiss to your mound.
He brings his calloused fingers to your cunt and your body twitches at just the slighest of his touch. “Wait—“ you call out, and Bucky immediately freezes, stops what he is doing and looks at you with concern in his ocean eyes.
You reach out and grab his other arm, his Vibranium arm, and replace his flesh hand with that one. Bucky almost looks hesitant. “Are— are you sure?” His cheeks turn pink, and your heart wants to burst.
God, he’s perfect.
“When I said I want you, I meant all of you.” You smile and press a kiss to his forehead.
Bucky slips his finger into your core, and you let out a moan, arching your back as it hits the spot. Bucky reacts to the moan and hums with contentment. “That’s my girl.”
The coldness of the metal sends shivers down your body, and you feel yourself clamp down on him. As he curled his finger inside of you, you catch a glimpse of his cock pressing against his light grey dress pants. You moan apologetically as you imagine it inside of you, and just then, Bucky pushes a second digit into you.
“Please— more— that’s so good—“ you breathe out, squeezing your eyes shut.
“Hear that?” Bucky murmured, returning his tongue back to your clit. “You beg so pretty for me.”
Your breath hitched as Bucky suddenly removed his fingers, and his metal hand ghosted over your hip, pinning you into the desk, exactly where he wanted you.
“You keep— you tease,” you groan, chastising him almost. Bucky’s ice blue eyes seem to darken as his pupils blow.
“Oh doll,” Bucky sighs. “Tell me what you want.”
This time, his flesh hand returns to your core and without warning, he pushes his three fingers inside of you as his thumb strategically circles your clit. “I like to feel you.” He mumbled, licking a white hot stripe down your neck.
“I can’t— I’m close—“
Before you could finish your sentence, his finger closed around your most sensitive spot.
And then, a knock at the door. “Congressman? Your private jet is here.”
Your entire body went rigid as you glanced over to see the silhouette of a man behind the frosted doors to Bucky’s office. Somehow, you'd totally forgotten that Bucky had plans to fly out tonight if he was going to make it to Tokyo for the conference in the morning. The man was only meters away from you both, and had no idea your boss was busy fucking you beyond belief.
“Ah shit!” You cried, feeling yourself near the edge just as Bucky’s driver interrupted. But Bucky paid no attention.
“Be there in a minute.” He called back, his voice perfectly calm.
And when he said a minute, he meant a minute. As if on cue, you fell apart, white-hot pleasure crashing over you and his hand muffling the desperate moan that threatened to escape your body as your body rifed and shook beneath him.
Bucky groaned as he felt you unravel, his hands gripping your thighs as he licked you through, taking everything you gave him. By the time he pulled back, his lips were swollen, and his smirk was wicked.
“Think he heard you, sweetheart?” Bucky teased, pressing a lingering kiss to your inner thigh.
You were too dazed to even glare at him.
But when he stood, smoothing his tie, his expression softened. He cupped your face, thumb brushing over your lips before kissing you slow and deep, letting you taste yourself on his tongue. When he finally pulled away, he smirked.
“Looks like we got a plane to catch,” he announced. You dizzily pushed yourself up and hopped off his desk. “Better fix your skirt. Don’t want anyone knowing what I just did to you, do we?”
You swore you were going to kill him.
But first?
You were going to let him do it again.
#bucky barnes#marvel#mcu#sebastian stan#bucky barnes x you#congressman#thunderbolts#james buchanan barnes#james bucky buchanan barnes#bucky barnes x reader#smut
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Right I usually only talk about the marauders but I need to talk about Dan and Phil for a second because the fan response to the livestream ticketing is ridiculous.
I'm going to quickly preface this by saying that yes, the hidden service charges were INSANE and unfair, but they've since stated that starting today they're going to do partial refunds and lower the prices so that they're balanced better. It's very clear that they didn't know about the service charges, and people suddenly trying to imply that it was a malicious decision are driving me up the wall.
Since that initial issue, people have taken it as an opportunity to not only be overly critical, but to just insult them???
Firstly, £12 as a starter price for a livestream ticket is reasonable. Literally every theatre livestream ticket I've ever seen has started at £16-£18 and gone up from there, so realistically this is a reasonable price!! Chances are they did their best to get it as low as they possibly could without losing money. Tours are fucking expensive, with most people who tour either making minimal money or breaking even (something not even that), and running under the assumption that they're absolutely LOADED when they've been very open about the fact that they've got a mortgage to pay is WILD. They need to make money to be able to make content!!
Also, the vast majority of their content is free. They have far more free and readily available content than most other influencers out there. People are acting like it's insane to briefly put the tour behind a paywall, like wad didn't get ads blocked STRAIGHT after it became free and readily available. Also, it's not just access to the tour that you're paying for? There's a preshow/'red carpet', and then an after-party q&a if you've opted for the £16 or any of the merch bundles. If you don't want to pay, the tour will STILL be available to you at some point, and I think it's wild to act like it's unfair that they need to make money? I'm sorry, but they need to be able to pay their bills.
One thing I feel like it's most important to acknowledge is that you're not being forced to buy it. People are acting like they were held at gunpoint and forced to check out with the service fees. If PayPal checked you out without showing you the service fees (which is a PayPal glitch, not an issue from Dan and Phil), then you can get a refund pretty easily. If not, you can email and chances are you'll get a refund (if you want the whole cost back and not just the service fees because those are getting automatically refunded). However, acting like you saw the service fees, had the money and checked out anyway, means that Dan and Phil forced you to do it is WILD. Dan making a joke with a fan about skipping work (in which they called their job one of the most important in the world) is NOT Dan forcing everybody to miss life events for the livestream and I'm so confused about why people are seeing it that way. You're not obligated to do anything, and being mad at Dan and Phil for releasing merch bundles at all after buying one is genuinely unfathomable to me as a thought process.
Also, acting like they're not taking it seriously enough when they're actively doing what people asked and resolving the issue is wild??? If they had released an overly professional "statement" you guys would have jumped to call them cold and uncaring. This was easily the best way they could have resolved the issue, and I'm genuinely so confused by everybody being so willing to insult Phil's response as if he didn't do EXACTLY what people wanted them to do??? Also being mad at them specifically for the merch not being available internationally (which is definitely an issue) is insane because they don't actually control the merch shipments??? Like why are they suddenly expected to change something that chances are they don't know how to change???
Suddenly jumping to insult them personally, or going out of your way to accuse them of being hyper-capitalists is uncalled for and just plain rude. It was this shit that kept me from taking part in the online communities pre-hiatus, and I'm genuinely really frustrated to see it coming back. Acting like they're the biggest depiction of capitalism is insane. Have you ever shopped at Amazon? Literally any major supermarket? Any name brand ever? They're bigger examples of submitting to a capitalist regime than Dan and Phil!! As much as we can all (rightfully) criticise our capitalist society, we all have to feed into it to survive because it's so deeply ingrained into our lives. They need to eat, they need to pay their bills, and they're doing their best to make it fun for their audience.
Yes, the hidden service fees were insane. Yes, the merch bundles not being available internationally is upsetting. However, they're literally doing everything in their power to fix it, and were clearly unaware of these things before the tickets went on sale.
There's a difference between rightfully pointing out issues and just insulting them personally and being really shit about them??? They haven't forced you to buy anything and they're resolving the issue. Calm tf down.
#i literally haven't talked about dnp on here#but i'm so done#dan and phil#dnp#dan and phil terrible influence#terrible influence tour#terrible influence livestream#dnp livestream#dan howell#phil lester#daniel howell#amazingphil
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Double Down, Triple Threat

Summary: insecure!Eddie x bartender!Reader
Eddie is constantly flirting with you after his Corroded Coffin sets at the Hideout, and you have the bad habit of flirting back. What happens when you overhear a conversation that wasn’t meant for you? Maybe you’ve had the wrong idea about the cocky metalhead who negs you for free drinks. Now you need to take it into your own hands to resolve some built up tension.
Smut, as always, with a touch of angst but generally fluff/happy ending.
Word count: 18k (eek! in retrospect I maybe should have split this into multiple parts but...fuck it, brevity has never been my strong suit LOL) Buckle up for a doozy.
Content warnings: smut, afab reader with she/her pronouns, use of y/n, alcohol consumption, smoking, the devil’s lettuce, mention of Eddie's scars and sustained injuries (slightly canon divergent obviously because our boy is ALIVE here, but the events of season 4 generally stand otherwise), also Eddie does some negative self talk where he refers to himself as mutilated but everything is happy in the end I promise, and scars are nothing to be insecure about he's just down in the dumps you feel me?, oral (fem receiving), fingering (fem receiving), unprotected PIV sex (plz use protection irl), pet names, reader and Eddie shower together
A/N: I know it’s been a hot minute since I’ve posted a fic on here, but I hope all y’all who are still riding the Eddie Munson thirst train enjoy this :) I’m trying to regain the motivation to write more, so hopefully more fics to come soon (no promises though lol) (maybe some Steve? Steddie x Reader? Let me know what y’all want to see.) I
"I'll have the usual," his hoarse voice and boisterous presence cut through what few other customers sat at your bar, forcing your attention his way.
"Yeah, and what would that be?" you try to give him your best deadpan voice, unsure yet if you were in the mood for his antics.
"Come on, like I ever order anything other than a whiskey and coke," his curly dark hair stuck slightly to his damp forehead, not having bothered to wipe the sweat from his brow in between the stage and the bar. If you could even call it a stage. It was more of a sad corner with an extension cable and a few amps that his grunting bandmates were lugging back into their truck while he very helpfully came over and tried to flirt with the bartender. You were the only bartender. On Friday nights anyways.
"That's because you're unoriginal," his drink was already half made as you flick your eyes up through your lashes at him, knowing he was watching you intently, not that he was particular about how his drink was made by any stretch. "You're actually going to pay for it this time," you slid the glass over to him, "I'm not joking."
"You wound me," he tries his best to give you puppy dog eyes, "but I'm pretty sure Randy mentioned something about drink tickets when we negotiated our new Friday slot."
"That's not a thing," you make up menial tasks behind the bar to keep your hands and eyes busy while he relentlessly chats with you, "never has been. Plus if I keep giving you free drinks you'll get the idea that I like you or something."
Fuck, you told yourself you should stop flirting back with him. Your first excuse had been professionalism, which didn't make a lick of sense considering you were a bar back at this hole in the wall that paid local bands in drink tickets, apparently. Your second excuse had been that as fun as Eddie was to chat with, you hardly knew anything about him other than his loud band and his drink order.
Unfortunately he liked to chat and sooner than later you knew more about him than you wanted to. Your newest excuse? If you kept flirting back with him he might get the idea that he could see you outside of this dingy bar, and you liked the comfort and safety of the three feet of wood separating you, it kept you from doing something you might regret.
"Don't act like you didn't like our set," he threw the rest of his drink back, "I saw you watchin' from over here."
"Yeah, well you're kind of hard to ignore, you know, with the volume and all," your voice had a too-playful tone that you mentally noted to dial back on.
If you were being honest, Corroded Coffin was one of the weekly acts that you didn't entirely mind. Most were groups of middle aged men trying to relive the glory days by booking a weeknight at the Hideout, instruments barely tuned and a setlist that was decades out of style. While Eddie's band certainly wasn't everyone's cup of tea, you found yourself tapping your foot along with their songs more often than not. At least they were original, you’d give them that.
He held his glass up to signal a request for another. "Go help your friends carry all your shit," you swiped the cup from his hand, hating that you focused on how your fingers briefly touched his, "and then I'll make you another. And I'm charging you for both."
"Whatever you say, babe" he spun around three or four times on the bar stool before sauntering off and finally assisting with moving the amps and drum kit. You rolled your eyes, not that he was watching you anymore, but more to keep yourself from checking out how his shirt clung to his torso. His black t-shirt was always a size too small, revealing his tattoo covered arms that you never allowed yourself to stare long enough at to make out what any of them were.
Eddie was nice. As much as you liked to push each other's buttons and joke around, he was a lot more respectful than most patrons that tried their hand at flirting with you. He never said anything gross or disrespectful, not something you could say about most men who've had more than a few beers.
But you didn't want to risk pushing any boundaries with him, because you work here, and his band plays here weekly, religiously. You didn't want things to get weird, and as much as you learned how to avoid certain patrons, there was only so much space between the 'stage' and your station behind the bar.
Despite this, you have his second drink made before he finishes putting his stuff away, and you haven't started a tab for either of them. A big smile stretches across his cheeks when he notices his already-made drink set by his stool as he walks over from the back door. You couldn't help but feel a tiny smile creep up on your face as well.
"Really made me work for this one, huh?" he takes the first sip while still standing before setting back into his seat, "truly amazing service, best I've ever had, really." You glare at him while cleaning some cups absentmindedly with a rag. "Not sure if you can tip on a drink ticket though..."
"Fuck off," you giggle and throw the wet towel at him, "you can't charm your way into TWO free drinks you ass."
"Aww you think I'm charming?" the flirtations between you were always edged with sarcasm, which you both found a lot easier than admitting 'hey you need to stop looking at me like that or else I'm going to keep thinking about pinning you against this countertop.'
"No, I don't, which is why you're PAYING for both those drinks," a lie followed by another lie, and you both knew it. "Where'd your band go?"
"Why? 'm I boring you?" he didn't mind taking up all your attention when the other bar patrons were either too drunk to stand or too old to even notice that a metal band had performed for the past hour. "No one's ever accused Gareth of being more interesting than yours truly. Plus he doesn't drink anyways, so your venture capitalist instincts wont work on him." He raised his drink to punctuate his joke before taking another long swig.
"Ha ha," you don't give him the satisfaction of a real laugh, "I just wanted to make sure you had a ride home in case you try and swindle me into making you a third drink."
"Oh no, I told them all to scram, that I had a hot date with you and my unsettled tab," he leaned over the bar, trying to eliminate as much space between himself and you, "plus I've got a friend coming by to pick me up in a bit. So if you wanted to make me that third drink in exchange for me keeping you company while you close up, I certainly don't have any reason to turn you down."
"Fine," you point at him with a stern finger, "but this one'll be more coke than whiskey."
"Deal," he pointed his finger back at you, moving carefully in so the tips of your pointers touched. This made you genuinely laugh, unable to keep up a wall for too long around him.
He finished his second drink while you ordered last call, and settled up with crumpled cash and mumbled thank you’s from the few remaining drunks. After closing up the cash register you make him that more-coke-than-whiskey drink as promised, and get to wiping down every sticky surface.
"What's your drink?" he asks.
"Hmm?" you glance over from your hunched over position, trying to get the wet rag across the underside of the bar where someone had clearly spilt what appeared to be an entire pint of light beer.
"You know my drink order, I wanna know yours." you stand up straight and look at him.
You consider pushing back and demanding why he wanted to know, but it was late and you only had so many quips left in you, "Gin and tonic with extra lime." You get back to soaking up the spilt mess.
"Woooooow," his drink was finished and he took it upon himself to grab the broom from behind the bar and start sweeping up the bottle caps and tracked in dirt, "and you had the nerve to call me unoriginal."
"I'm not some creative rock and roll guitar guy like you, I don't need to be original, I'm just a bartender," you let him keep sweeping and start checking off other tasks from your closing list.
"You aren't just a bartender, give yourself more credit than that babe," he held up the dustpan full of crap, silently asking where to put it and you hold open a mostly full garbage bag for him to dump it into before tying it off, "judging by your drink order I would also guess that you're, hmmmm, an 85 year old man."
"Oh my god," you slap him on the arm with another half dirty hand towel, "in that case, you're doing voluntary manual labor just to flirt with this 85 year old man, so maybe you need to reevaluate your priorities."
He takes a few steps forward, not quite caging you against the bar, but nearly there. "And how am I doing? Is it working?" He's the closest he's ever been to you, jokingly sliding the broom around your feet, pretending to sweep while maintaining searing eye contact.
As the which-one-of-us-is-going-to-learn-in-first question buzzes around you, an irritating light flickers through the big front window, indicating someone had pulled their car right up to the curb with their high beams on. Eddie scrunches his nose up, and your urge to kiss him somehow grows despite his annoyed expression. "That's my ride."
You give him a small nod, turning your head to try and squint to see who could possibly be picking him up at this hour, but not making out much through the foggy glass. "I suppose I can manage the rest without you," you grab the broom from him, fingers touching for the second time tonight, "see you next week, rockstar."
Eddie wants to do something smooth, a wink or a clever line, but instead nervously gives you a nod and is out the front door before he can give it a second thought. The minute the door closes behind him you let out all the air you had been holding in your chest, both frustrated and slightly relieved. Eddie on the other hand- was bursting with regret and frustration, immediately running his hands through his hair and pulling a cigarette out of his pocket.
"Absolutely not," Steve craned his neck out of his car that always looked like it had just gotten a fresh wax and detail, "at least five feet away from the beemer if you're going to light that."
Eddie rolled his eyes, considering putting the cigarette back into the carton and getting the fuck away from this bar, but ultimately gave in and pivoted on his heel storming back towards the brick exterior and slumping against it as he flicked his lighter and took an aggressively deep pull.
"What's your damage?" Steve moved out of the expensive car, keeping a bit of distance from Eddie but close enough that the two could talk, "That bartender you like wasn't on or something?"
"She's inside closing up now, so keep your fuckin' voice down" he gave Steve a glare and then immediately an apologetic look for being so prickly, "I'm just bad at this shit, man."
"You can't be that bad at it, Gareth and Jeff said the two of you eye fuck across the room every Friday night," Steve shrugs, understanding Eddie's drawback but knowing his friend rarely gives himself the benefit of the doubt.
"Yeah, well, that's not the hard part," Eddie rips his cigarette and presses his wild hair deeper into the brick behind him, exhaling upwards.
You had taken note that Eddie's ride hadn't left yet, so you busied yourself for a minute before deciding who cares if you had to give him an awkward wave on your way across the parking lot, so you locked up and grabbed the trash to take to the dumpster out back before leaving for the night.
You really didn't mean to eavesdrop, but as soon as the back door clicked you heard their muffled conversation from around the corner. Rather than give away your presence with the clanging of the trash you gently set it against the wall and moved forward silently, staying out of sight but well within earshot.
"Flirting is the easy part, she's fuckin' easy to talk to, man" Eddie's voice carried, and you felt guilty but continued to listen, "I don't want to just fuck her though, I want to like, date...her."
"Oh," Steve's voice dropped knowingly, "well that's... good, I guess, that you like her like that."
"Well even if I didn't like her like that and was only looking to fuck her," he sighs out, and you carefully listen while furrowing your eyebrows, trying to make sense of their conversation, "she's gorgeous, and no girl that hot- scratch that no girl at all want's to fuck some mutilated freak."
"Don't call yourself a freak," Steve's voice seems apprehensive.
"Yeah, sure, but you can't say I'm not mutilated." There was a beat of silence, and you didn't have time to think too much about his words before he went off again, voice laced with thick sarcasm, "Oh hey babe, so glad you were able to look past that I live in a trailer park and all my neighbors think I'm a satan worshiping murderer, but I hope you can be cool with my singular nipple and weird lumpy scar tissue, I know it's super hot, you're gonna have to get in line." His voice carried easily far past your hiding spot.
"You're not giving her much credit dude," Steve was still apprehensive to respond, knowing how Eddie got when he started to spiral, "Maybe she's not that shallow."
"It's not that," Eddie's voice started to calm, "I'd just rather take my twenty minutes of flirting after our Friday gigs than risk it and have her look at me like she's sorry for me or something."
With that he snubbed out his cigarette butt with the toe of his combat boots, let out a big sigh, and moved to get into the passenger side of Steve's car. You take a few slow, careful steps back towards the slumped garbage bag and wait until you hear the engine start and see the lights pull out onto the opposite side of the road.
Fuck. Part of you felt incredibly guilty for listening to what was obviously meant to be a private conversation, especially a private conversation about you. But your gears were turning far too fast to get hung up on guilt.
You always felt apprehensive about Eddie because you figured he was a flirt, a player, the kind of guy who talks to all bartenders like that, and you just happened to be the one he flirted with after his Corroded Coffin shows. You never wanted to get too invested in making him smile or waiting around for him to chat you up, because you know how most guys are, especially guys who carry themselves with that much confidence. And you were fucking wrong.
Now fully realizing that the ball is in your court, you need to plan your first move. You decided, Eddie was worth taking the risk.
It was truly a shot in the dark, but if your intuition ended up being a bust then no one would know about your wasted afternoon other than yourself. The following afternoon you drove aimlessly up and down the unpaved residential streets of the trailer park. There were two in town but you had a pretty good feeling that this was the one.
You only started to feel stupid when you got some confused and slightly angry looks from people going about their business, hanging laundry or smoking on their porches, scrunching their noses and trying to make out the unfamiliar car driving in circles around their neighborhood.
Aha! There it was. You knew that your gut could only fail you so many times when it came to Eddie. Exactly what you had been looking for, a big black and blue 1971 Chevrolet van strewn with dents, patches of rust, and, your telltale sign, a homemade Corroded Coffin sticker crookedly placed on the faded chrome of the bumper.
Step one, complete. Step two was contingent on Eddie even being home. The presence of his van had you feeling hopeful.
You attempt to rid yourself of lingering nerves with a deep breath and silent pep talk. You park adjacent to his van and hop out before your legs can convince you not to, and suddenly you've rung the doorbell and are standing with your hands clasped nervously in front of his door.
"Just a minute," you hear him yell from inside, step two, complete, "What're you here for? Cuz I only got weed right now so if you're..." his hollering voice trails off from inside as he catches a glimpse of you through the screen. "Y/n? What the fuck are you doing here?"
"Jeez, hello to you too," you try to lace your voice with the same flirty edge that you always took with Eddie, but you didn't have the comfortable barrier of the bar or the security of being the person serving him his drinks.
"How the fuck do you know where I live?" His tone wasn't quite angry, but it was bordering on more pointed than just confused.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to drop by totally unexpected," you suddenly felt vulnerable, regretting this whole stupid plan, "I can go."
You start to scurry back to your car and hide your face forever, but he cuts you off with, "No, no, just, why are you here?" He softened his voice, and came down the stoop to hover over you on the last step.
"Well," here goes nothing, "last night I felt like we sort of got interrupted." You pause, trying to gauge his reaction, "And I couldn't stop thinking about it, and I didn’t want to wait a whole week to see you again."
"Oh," his face and reaction didn't give you much of a clue as to what he was thinking.
"And," you started filling the empty air with words, as you often did out of anxiety, "I know where you live because I've heard you sing 'fuck everyone in the trailer park, I'll play my music and curse your existance' probably a thousand times, it really wasn’t that hard to figure out where you live."
He let out a chuckle, despite being deep in the throws of processing your earlier statement of feeling cut off. Of course he wanted to see you outside the confines of the musty bar, he just hadn't expected it to be like this, so sudden. "Well that's fair. I’ll give you double points for perception."
"I didn't mean to interrupt your Saturday," you began to reel again, "just wanted to tell you I'd like to hang out with you sometime, preferably not at The Hideout."
"Can sometime be now?" he hopped down from the last step and gave you an inquisitive smile, nose slightly scrunched and giving you butterflies.
"Yeah, sometime can be now. You promise I'm not interrupting anything?" you felt a wave of relief, his energy had fully shifted from confusion to your comfortable flirty banter.
"Just a packed bong and have some laundry I probably wasn't going to do anyways," he suddenly realized he either had to invite you inside, which would be slightly embarrassing given the current state of his trailer, or suggest a secondary location, "you hungry? We can grab lunch or something?"
He offered to drive, and you suggested sandwiches and beer to go for a backseat van picnic. He was relieved that you were down with doing something so casual, no stuffy cafes or overpriced food. If you were more than happy to suggest eating deli counter sandwiches in the back of his clunky van then maybe he had less to worry about than he thought.
The passing moments between you had him realizing he truly didn't know much about you. Your job, how you had no problem snapping back at rude customers, and most recently your favorite drink. He wanted to know more, and quickly did as you had a 'regular' sandwich order and gave him directions to a side street that looked out onto a small lake, explaining that you'd eat lunch out here sometimes when the weather was nice. He parked the van in reverse, letting the back doors swing open, giving you the perfect bench looking out to the scenery to sit back and eat.
"All my years living 'round here, I've never been to this spot," he noted through bites of sandwich wrapped in white paper.
"Yeah, most people know the spot across the lake with the rope swing and all that," you gesture across to where there was a popular jumping rock littered with empty beer cans, "too crowded for me though, it's more peaceful over here."
"Sorry if I was a bit rude earlier," he started, but you quickly cut him off before he could finish his apology.
"No, no," you move your hand over to gently grab his mid gesture, "don't apologize, your reaction was incredibly reasonable."
"I just-' he started but you gave his hand a squeeze, "I really am happy you decided to come by, I didn't want you to think otherwise."
"I'm happy you chose lunch with me over a bong and laundry, that was some tough competition I had," he rolled his eyes at you.
"Don't make fun of me," he nudged your side, "I'm usually pretty wiped from Friday's show and trying to think of clever things to keep up with you, so my Saturday's are usually pretty lazy," your shoulders rubbed against each other, "being a washed up wannabe rockstar and flirting with a girl way out of my league can really do a number on me."
You share a soft giggle but reassure him that playing live music, even if it is only for you and a crowd of five drunks is still pretty cool. "Plus I like that you dress like this all the time, it's not just an act, this is just how you are," you gesture to his ripped jeans and ring clad fingers.
"What did you expect, babe? Surprise me at my trailer to find me in a polo and khakis?" the suggestion alone had the two of you laughing, brainstorming an alternate universe where Eddie was an accountant by day and only let his rocker side loose on Friday nights.
"If you aren't secretly an accountant, what do you do when you're not playing music, if I may ask," you realize this was really one of the first personal questions you'd exchanged, keeping things punchy and surface level until this point.
"Ah, well," he scratches the back of his head, "although I wish the drink tickets we make at The Hideout were enough to cover rent, I work down at the body shop, you know the one down the street from the grocery store? My uncle knew some guys there and hooked me up with a job fixing cars after high school, and it's not too bad, I'm not half bad at it either, so that's where I'm at."
"You just really keep getting better and better, huh?" at first he wonders if your comment is sarcastic, but you continue "So what I'm hearing is you'll look at my rattling engine for free? I know nothing about cars and am always worried the people at the body shop are going to overcharge me."
"I only charge in sandwich dates and drink tickets, so you're in luck," he responds quickly without giving it much of a thought.
You take a second, "What about dinner dates? Maybe movie dates too? Are those acceptable payments for your mechanic expertise?"
"Not usually, but I'll make an exception for you," he responds after a few beats, realizing you wanted to see him again, and not just at the bar.
You both are looking out at the lake, the buzzing energy around you making you nervous to look at each other. So you just tilt your head sideways to rest on his shoulder, "Phew, that's a relief, because I have a lot more of these planned."
"Oh yeah?" he shifts his body towards you, lifting your head from his shoulder and finally meeting his gaze, a stupid grin plastered across his face, he couldn't help it. "Which one of these dates do I finally get to kiss you?" You let out a breathy laugh, half amused by his corny line and half surprised he was being so forward.
"Hmmm, I'm not sure," you pretend to think it over, stringing this out was killing both of you, but you couldn't help but push his buttons a bit more, "I'd say I'm kind of a third date kind of gal."
"Three? As in three from now or three including this one?" He seemed genuinely concerned, causing a genuine laugh to slip through the act you were putting on.
You move your hand to his chest, faces closer than they had ever been. You had always been sucked into his big brown eyes, but now you saw flecks of honey and deep browns that bordered on black in them, faded freckles dotted across his cheeks, a chapped patch on his lower lip that had clearly been the victim of some anxious chewing. "I'll make an exception this time, for you."
He let you make the first move, leaning in and gently pressing your lips to his, soft and slow. You could feel his breath catch in his throat, prompting you to pull back and look at him through fluttered lashes, as your mouth parted slightly to ask him if that was okay, his big ring clad hands cupped the sides of your cheeks and pulled you right back into him, kissing you like he was afraid you'd evaporate if he ever stopped.
The wind was knocked out of you. You couldn't be bothered to breathe when your attention was solely focused on his lips, his tongue, the sharp intake air he sucked in between slotting your top lip down to your swollen bottom one, nipping with teeth and holding your face so close.
After a minute of soft whimpers and exploring the new intimacy you pull back to finally catch your breath, fully ready to ignore the need for oxygen and lean back in when you see his face, rosy and buzzing with excited energy.
"Sorry, if that was kind of a lot," he realized you had given the sweetest peck and he proceeded to practically shove his tongue down your throat.
You however, were already brushing his apology off and leaning in for more, missing the feeling of his big hands cradling your face, sending tingling shockwaves down your body. Before you could lunge back at him and take more of what you wanted, he takes your chin in between his fingers and tilts your head up to his.
"I don't know if you can tell, but I'm sort of crazy about you. And I really don't want to fuck this up, but I've wanted to do that for a really long time.”
He could tell by your pout that you were begging for another kiss, and he couldn't refuse you. You were completely lost in it. Learning that he let out a little gasp when you ran your fingers up into his hair, that he would catch your bottom lip in between his teeth when you started to pull away and he needed more, that you were already completely wrecked for him. You weren't even conscious of the fact that you were now fully seated in his lap, sandwich wrappers and empty cans long pushed aside.
Part of you wanted to wait, to let things build up organically over time and get physically intimate when the moment felt right. But fuck it, the moment felt right now.
Any apprehension or worry of scaring him off dissipated when his thumb ran across your cheekbone, his other strong arm holding you steadily against him, you don't think you could wiggle away if you tried. Swirling in your apprehension you also fought the urge to press your hips down into his and grind against him harder. You wanted to let him take things at his pace and not rush anything, but fuck you could feel his cock getting hard between your legs and it was driving you insane.
He dragged the knuckle of his middle finger up your neck along the curve of your jaw, speaking softly into your kiss, "can I kiss you here?" pressing his touch into the side of your neck.
"You can do anything you want to me," you pant back, slightly embarrassed at how desperately horny that came out.
"Fuck," he groaned out, cock noticeably twitching against his black jeans and into your thigh, "you can't say shit like that to me."
"Sorry, sorry," you try to gain your composure and lift off him slightly, “I-"
He took a hold of your waist and pulled your back down into his lap, diving into the side of your neck and nipping and sucking until he found the spot that made you squeeze your thighs slightly around him. "Anything I want requires a lot more time and space than we have right now, pretty girl." He mumbled into your neck in between kisses, his words making your back arch slightly more into him. "Plus I need to be a gentleman," you rolled your eyes at this.
"Since when have you ever worried about that," you tug his hair back to force him to look at you.
"You really want to know what I want, right now?" he quirked an eyebrow.
"Really, really," you let your weight sink down onto his lap a touch more, feeling the stiff length under his jeans slot between your thighs a bit deeper, making his breath hitch before he could respond.
"I want you to lay back on those blankets up there," he nodded towards the few crumpled up blankets he had shoved behind the driver's seat, "and let me eat your pretty pussy until you're screaming loud enough for the people across the lake to hear."
Whatever you were expecting, it wasn't that.
This unexpected burst of sexual confidence threw you for a loop, as you were fully prepared to be the one making all the big moves. Your mouth hung open slightly, struggling to form a response when all that was swarming through your mind was holy fuck, holy fuck, that was so hot, what the fuck do I say.
Rather than respond with words you just roll off his lap and start moving deeper into the back of his van, propping your torso up on bent arms and sending him back a suggestively raised eyebrow. He swung his legs up over the ledge and took one of the doors with him, sliding into the van and quickly shutting the other as well.
It took a second for your eyes to adjust, the previous sunlight coming in from across the lake was cut off, and the light source now was only coming from the front windows, making things darker but not invisible. You quickly had no trouble making out Eddie's slender form shuffling around and getting situated in between your bent knees, urging you to lay back a bit more and relax as much as your body would allow against the lumpy blanket pile.
"This is okay?" he asks while leaning down to pick up where you had left off a moment ago.
"Yes, fuck," you wiggle up into his form, wanting as much contact as he would allow, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him down into your lips.
It all had moved faster than you were used to but fuck if it didn't feel so right. Why did you feel more comfortable with this person you hardly knew than you had with your past few long term relationships? He just had this way of taking your nerves and throwing them out the nearest window.
After sucking on your lower lip until it was puffy and slick he dips his chin into the crook of your neck, dragging his perfect nose up your jugular and nestling into the junction of your neck and ear, licking a stripe all the way. You wanted to desperately buck your hips up into his, but only allowed yourself half the satisfaction of lifting your thigh slightly to give him more space to sink deeper into your slumped form.
When Eddie’s life flashed before his eyes, on more than one occasion- actually- he wasn’t particularly satisfied with what he saw. In the moments before what he assumed was death, his brain searched for the best moments to accumulate and reminisce on before his body succumbed to the untimely demise he was facing. It wasn’t much.
He wished he had more than smiling moments with his D&D club, a few killer performances at the Hideout, no killer audiences, some nights of revelry with his friends, and a few forgettable hookups in dingy bar bathrooms. That couldn’t be it, right?
In the wake of his life flashing, fading, and flashing again, he made more space for good things. After his shows now he let himself think about you, and how much he liked you, let himself try his hand at flirting. Because if he was going to come anywhere that close to death again, he needed more to show for it than a few trysts with nameless girls and an unnerving amount of scar tissue.
So he wasn’t about to fuck this up. If someone came at him with an axe tomorrow, at least he’d have the memory of you splayed out beneath him in the back of his van, lips shiny and cheeks rosy. If his life were to flash before his eyes again it wouldn’t be as bad.
“Do you know how long I’ve thought about this?” he mumbled into your neck, his denim clad thigh pressing perfectly in between your legs. You could only hum back as if to say, “no, tell me.”
“I think you do know,” his teeth grazed upon your earlobe, sending a jolt through your hips and finding solace in the friction between your thighs with his.
“Yeah, I know,” you breathe out, arching your neck down to nudge the tip of his nose with yours, “do you?”
“I didn’t have a clue,” he mumbled into your lips before slipping his tongue against yours, sickly sweet and laced with all the regret of not asking you out sooner.
You let your ankles hook around one another, locking your hips together and earning a deep rumble of a moan from the man trapped. “I recall you mentioning something about the people across the lake hearing me…” you playfully trail off, equal parts confidently flirty and deeply desperate for him to act on his earlier promise.
He had nudged his way down into the neckline of your shirt, licking and nipping at as much of your breasts as he could find, fingertips grazing the waistline of your pants. Part of you wanted to just lay here and let him have his way with you, but the conscious part of your brain recognized the insecurities he expressed in that conversation you weren't supposed to hear, and signaled you to be as forward with him as you could be.
“Fuck,” you struggled to pry your hands between your pressed bodies to reach your jeans button, “Eddie can I take these off, I want to feel you.”
With your hands moved south, you managed to undo the clasps of your jeans while also running your hands upwards towards his shirt, wanting to feel the skin beneath.
It was subtle, but impossible for you to miss, when your fingertips grazed his lower stomach and trailed up his t-shirt his body shifted into a tense state for just a moment. You could have easily missed it. It took all of a millisecond for him to subtly jerk away from you and redirect the attention to your now unbuttoned pants. His hands were dragging the material down your thighs before you had a moment to register the way he averted your touch.
He playfully tossed your bunched up pants over his shoulder, as if they had anywhere else to go other than the three feet of van between him and the doors. After that flashed moment of shyness, you noticed nothing but a playful smirk on his face, smile crinkled at the corners of his cheeks and eyes full of wild mischief.
His hands spread against your thighs, digging his fingertips into as much skin as the width of his palms would allow.
“So fucking perfect,” he drank you in, hardly noticing the moment you pulled your shirt and bra over yourself, but dumbstruck as soon as his eyes caught sight of your reveal.
Knowing he had yet to put his money where his mouth was, he adjusted downwards and let his flushed cheek make contact with your thigh. In that moment he vowed to let the sight of the little damp patch in the center of your cotton panties stay forever in his mind.
He didn’t let a single thought register in his brain before he leaned forward and let his tongue lick a fat strip up the middle of your clothed center, adding dampness to the apparent arousal already there.
“Jesus,” you were slightly taken aback at his action, letting your head fall back, while still lowering your gaze down to where his hooded lids and pink tongue sat in between your thighs.
He reveled in the feeling of being between your thighs, letting his tongue play around the center of your panties for a few strokes before the twitching in your legs signaled that you had had enough of his teasing.
Taking a blissful moment to hook his finger through the crotch piece of your underwear and pull it to the side to reveal your slick center, he simply couldn’t help himself. He pulled back and drank the sight of you in, panties wet with your arousal and his spit pulled to the side and your perfect cunt finally in his sights.
The groan he let out only tripled your level of neediness for him. You let your chest puff up and hips gyrate forward at nothing to signal that you needed him, like, now.
Before you could even think of something snarky to say to get him to get on with it, his entire face was fully buried in you. An involuntary ahhh escaped you as he let his entire tongue press as far into you as space would allow.
“Ohmygod,” all coming out in one breath, “fuckeddie.”
He groaned deeply into you at the feeling of your pussy on his mouth, your taste, how your hips twitched slightly when his nose pressed against your clit. He didn’t even think about all those drunken chats with the boys or stupid cosmo articles he couldn't help but read, eating your pussy didn’t require any thought, he could only feel.
Your sighs were like a song to him, every sharp inhale and subtle whimper, he caught it all and it was the most beautiful music. He let his tongue swirl faster when he heard your breath hitch, gripped your thigh tighter when you let out that beautiful exhale.
“So fucking good for me,” he mumbled into your inner thigh in between licks, fully pussy drunk and ready to stay here forever, “fucking perfect.”
After some selfish exploration, he settled on a steady rhythm against your clit, making your back arch and whines jump an octave.
“Eddie, Eddie,” you groaned, feeling embarrassed how needy your voice already sounded, “can you use your fingers too, please.” Desperate. That’s how you felt, and you couldn't help but be self conscious for any more than a moment, as he immediately headed your request.
Guitar fingers. You fucking knew it. You always found him attractive and charming, but immediately scolded yourself the moment you started speculating about those damn fingers. If he could learn Metallica solos in private, what else could he do?
Curling upwards in that magically delicious motion that had you already seeing stars, he glanced up at you upon entering and was met with the glorious sight of your mouth hanging open and eyes fluttering shut.
You simply couldn’t be bothered by the rickety van floor beneath you, the sad lumpy pillow propped under your head, or the stagnant, vaguely cigarette scented air around you. Nope. No thoughts other than the tightening knot in your stomach and how those pretty brown eyes peered up through too-perfect lashes at you in between sinful strokes.
“Making me feel so fucking good,” you hardly recognized your voice as your own, “please don’t stop, Eddie, please…”
And there it was, euphoric bliss found in the back of a pot dealing metalhead’s van. Your thighs quivered and your brain lost all capacity for thought. All you could feel was the sudden wash of pleasure, the pulsing between your legs, and the tongue and fingers fucking into you as if it was the last thing he ever did.
Writhing, trying to keep your moans down despite his verbalized promise for them to be heard far and wide, you try to control the jerk of your hips and grip on his hair. You rode out your orgasm, far sooner than you would have liked. You wanted to revel in it.
After months of relentless flirting and suppressing your attraction to him, you wish you could have held your orgasm off a while longer. You simply couldn't allow yourself to bask in the velvet of his tongue or the tickle of his bangs on your thighs. You needed it too badly to hold off.
Coming down from your orgasm, a broken moan cracked from you and let him know to slow his roll. In between catching your breath you catch a view of him sucking your release off of his slick fingers, and almost throw yourself at him, beg him to jump your bones. But all you can do is let out a breathy laugh and find the strength to prop yourself up on your elbows to get a better look at him.
“You come?” he asks, slight snark to his voice.
You muster up the energy to bop him upside the head and ruffle his hair along the way. “Fuck off,” you respond, still breathless, “you know I did.”
“I know,” he cocks his head, still admiring your form, your flushed face and rise and fall of every breath, “It’s polite to ask, though.”
“Ah yes, Eddie Munson, most polite man I know,” you flop back onto the mismatched pillows.
“Hey!” he pretends to sound offended but only manages to tug at your heartstrings, “I’ll have you know, that I am a delight.”
“Can’t argue with that,” you reach down to feel your dripping folds before hunching forward to search for your underwear, which haven't traveled too far from his knees on the van floor.
You wanted to return the favor, do more than return the favor, but something about his shift in demeanor and the way he angled his body away from yours slightly to adjust his hard cock in his pants and keep up the too-casual post-orgasm conversation had you thinking it was more than him being too polite to accept your advances.
“Shit, what time is it,” he begins to shuffle towards the front of the van to check the time while you awkwardly gathered your clothes and redressed, fully assessing that whatever fooling around in the back of this van you were doing was officially over.
“I, uh, have a few errands to run,” he sounded apologetic, not like he was making some excuse to get you out of his hair, “I can drop you off, or you can come along for the ride…”
There is was, your affirmation that he was just as desperate to hang onto this moment together as you were.
“I actually have a shift starting pretty soon,” you regrettably admit, “and as much as I’d love to ditch it and be your passenger princess, the Saturday tips are usually the bulk of my rent money so…”
He understood, he hated how much he understood.
“What time do you get off?” He didn’t even try to hide how eager he was to see you again, again in ten minutes, again later tonight, again tomorrow, again as many times as you’d let him.
“Get off? Pretty sure I did that like three minutes ago…” you joke and appreciate his huff of a laugh, “Um, I’m closing, so probably not until like two or three. Don’t worry though, I can give you my number and we can do this again when we’re both free.”
“I’m free later… at two,” his expression was dead serious, “or three, or four, or whenever.” He noticed your brows shoot up and words start to form in your mouth, before you could speak he cuts in, “If you won’t be too tired or anything. I can pick you up?”
“It’ll be pretty late Eds,” you were falling into the trap of his puppy dog eyes, “you don’t need to wait up for me like that, I promise we can see each other again, tomorrow even…”
“Tell me to fuck off if I’m being pushy,” he took your hand in his and mindlessly stroked circles into it with his thumb, “but I’m sort of a night owl, not big on the whole sleeping thing anyways, and I’d love to pick you up from work later.”
“Okay,” you agree, the soft earnestness of his voice snared you, and considered the magic he had just worked between your legs, who were you to say no. The glimmer in his eye and quirked smile at your response had you wishing you had said more than ‘okay,’ wondering what kind of look you would have gotten from a ‘yes, please,’ or ‘I’d love that.’
He drove you back to his trailer, not letting go of your hand during the ride, not even to turn up the music at his favorite parts. He offers to follow you back to your place, insisting that waiting for you to shower and change into work clothes and then drop you off at the Hideout was “on the way” to these supposed errands he had to run.
You roll your eyes but start to accept that this is the kind of guy Eddie is, insincerity undetectable when he makes these offers. You invite him in, but he opts to wait outside with a cigarette, pacing a bit and then forcing his legs and mind to still by waiting in the drivers seat.
“Hey hot stuff,” he wolf whistles as you exit your apartment, dressed in your usual black shirt and jeans for work, apron balled up in your bag to put on once you arrive.
He’s sweet, and sincere. As much as you liked the jab banter between the two of you at the bar, you think you might prefer his sarcastic jokes mixed with sweet compliments and longing gazes more. Not that you weren’t getting that from him at the bar before, there were plenty of longing gazes there too, but now the shared glances are heavy with the knowledge of what his tongue feels like on your cunt.
A sloppy, exaggerated kiss on the cheek and a ‘go get ‘em tiger’ sends you off into the bar, where your hands will be pouring cheap liquor for the next several hours but your mind will be solely occupied with what your post-work date with Eddie entails.
The drink special of the night was a mix of anxious anticipation and lustful yearning, shaken too aggressively and served with sunsteady hands. Luckily the Saturday rush kept you mostly focused on vodka sodas and Guinness pours, wiping down sticky surfaces and making change for impatient customers.
You had assistance behind the bar, and that also meant assistance closing up, finally allowing yourself to start peeking through the window to see if Eddie held up on his promise. Of course he had. He’d been waiting in the lot, scoring a few sales from exiting patrons who knew him previous deals, since long before the bar closed.
You wipe your sweaty palms onto your apron and ball it up into your bag before bounding across the parking lot towards Eddie, who always seems to have this effortless charisma buzzing around him, a cigarette dangled from his pretty lower lip and posture just slouched enough to still be sexy. Maybe you were biased at this point.
He pulls you in by your waist, angling his chin up to blow the smoke up into the sky rather in your direction.
“How was work?” Your cheeks were already starting to grow hot at the feeling of his pinky finger landing on the strip of skin between your shirt and jeans, “Miss me?”
“Bartending’s a lot easier when I don’t have your nosy ass pestering me for free drinks,” you cock your head at him, silently asking for a drag of his cigarette, which he immediately understands and complies, “wasn’t too bad though, happy it’s over,” you exhale.
“If you’e hungry there’s some fries and a milkshake by the passenger’s seat,” he let you slip from his grasp to spin around towards the van door.
“For me?” you peek through the window, realizing he didn’t just mean extras from his dinner earlier, he had gone out of his way to pick you up a post-work snack.
“Unless you aren’t hungry,” he moves to hop in the drivers side, “In which case you can practice tossing fries into my open mouth while I drive.”
You let a few fries fly across the car seat in his general direction, feeding him the occasional one directly, but inhaling most of them shortly after you peeled out of the parking lot.
“D’you want me to bring you home, or…” you knew where he was headed with this, a nervous edge to his voice.
“We can hang out back at your trailer if that’s okay,” you say mid-fry, “as long as I can take a quick shower I don’t mind chilling there.”
He grins like a giddy schoolgirl and grips the steering wheel just a touch tighter, and drives just a bit faster back to the trailer park. As anxious as you felt during your shift, you can’t be bothered to overthink with Eddie leaning towards you with his tongue lolling out of his mouth, making googly eyes at the shake you were downing as his way of asking you for a sip.
He put the van into park before the wheels had even come to a complete stop, hustling around the front to make sure he was the one to open your door. He had spent some of the time you were away straightening up his trailer for the first time in a good long while. Empty beer cans were cleared and he even changed the bed sheets. It still wasn’t the Ritz or anything, but at least he can say he tried.
He tried to busy himself with locking the door behind you after entering, not wanting to see if your eyes drifted over to the mess of records and smoking pariphenelia that cluttered the coffee table, or the chance that the mixture of heavy metal and nerdy posters strewn about would draw a judgmental reaction.
When he let his gaze drift back to you, you weren’t looking at any of that. You were looking right back at him, already leaning up on your toes and asking, “Can I kiss you again?”
A mumbled “of course” had you wrapping your arms around his neck and melting into his touch, finding his lips already on yours before you could go in for the kill.
The kiss started off French-fry-and-strawberry-shake flavored, smiling into his lips as the anticipation of seeing him again after only a few short hours slips away.
“Thank’s for spending so much time with me today,” you whisper in between sticky sweet kisses, “and for the fries and-“
He took your cheeks in his hands and smushed your lips into his mid-sentence, pulling back to see the puckered fish face he held between his hands.
“You’re welcome,” his big button eyes bore straight through you, as if he saw all of you and more, “but you don’t have to thank me, I like being with you, and I ended up eating most of the fries anyways,” he trails off, cheeks rosy and lips slick from your claim on them.
“You wanted to shower?” He cuts himself off, and feels stupid for it. He knew he could keep kissing you and kissing you and kissing you, and the only thing holding him back was his anxious brain and big mouth.
“Oh, yeah,” you were a little surprised that he remembered, and chose to bring it up now, “if you don’t mind. I always feel a little sticky after work, you know, with the Hideout’s C health rating and all.”
With a smile that nearly knocked the air out of you, he took a deep bow like some silly court jester and motioned down the trailer’s only hallway. You took your lead and followed his outstretched arm, figuring there were only so may doors that could possibly lead to a bathroom.
“Oh, shit, wait,” you hear him scramble behind you, shuffling past into the door you assume to he his bedroom, emerging milliseconds later with a crumpled towel in his balled up hand, “you’re gonna want this.”
“Thank you,” you’re slow with your movements, wondering how he was acting so squirrelly, like a middle school boy around the girl he wanted to take to the dance, even though he had you fully spread out begging for him in the back of his van only hours earlier, “is the shower big enough for two?”
You meant it equally suggestive and genuine, knowing full well that not all showers are built for partner bathing. However, the fear stricken look that washed across his face for a millisecond before scrunching up and setting to neutral had you thinking you had just asked if there was a built in hot tub or something like that. His mouth hung open and for a moment that conversation you weren’t supposed to hear replayed in your mind, maybe you had to take this slower than he was willing to let on.
“Just looking for someone to massage my scalp, that’s all,” you try to jokingly play it off, keeping your invitation open but concealing it with a joke to double back on just in case.
“Yeah, it’s- uhhh,” Eddie, who was always quick with a comeback was suddenly lost for words, “It’s the size of a normal shower, yeah.” It’s not like he could lie, all you had to do was turn around and size it up for yourself.
You take the towel from his white knuckled grip and pivoted towards the door that was close to having burn holes from where his laser focused eyes were shot. You give him a wink over your shoulder, figuring that was enough of an invitation and vague enough of an excuse for him to leave depending on what he wanted. You hated this line you were towing, knowing more than you should- yet still feeling so in the dark.
He was right, it was a normal sized shower. A bathtub with a sliding door and a detachable shower head with only one working setting. There was a rack with three-in-one and a bar of dove soap, which should have annoyed you but made you giggle instead. You let a quarter sized drop of the generic body wash slash shampoo slash conditioner lather into your hands when you heard the bathroom door creek open, purposefully left unlocked.
“Hey, is it okay I’m in here?” He sounded so genuine in his concern, unknowing you were on the verge of begging him to get in the shower with you.
“Yeah,” you borderline shout over the running water, “here to help massage my scalp?” You let your tone stay light and joking despite being deadly serious.
“Wow I didn’t realize your hands were really that delicate and incapable,” he tried to match your energy, but an anxious edge remained present.
“I mean,” you searched for your words, “I’ve seen you play Metallica, I know those fingers could surely get this pine scented crap deep into my roots.” You let the suggestive comment linger, nervous after a beat of silence passed.
“If you really need my help,” you heard him shuffling around , “who am I to turn a damsel in distress away?”
You felt your cheeks get rosy and shoulders wiggle with excitement as you caught the shower door jerk open. Your face was towards the shower head, and you only turned a quarter of the way around before Eddie stepped in behind you and those guitar-string-calloused-hands gripped your shoulders and twisted you back towards your view of the water stream.
“I’m gonna make you a deal,” his voice was coated with as much charisma as he could muster, his worries only poking through enough for you to notice, “I’ll give you the full treatment, but you can’t turn around.”
You were willing to play along with about any game he suggested. If he asked you to bend over backwards you’d extend your spine as far as it could go.
You stood with your front as straight towards the shower head as you could, only feeling his presence behind you and his gentle hands lay on your shoulders to assure you wouldn’t turn around.
“Just let me take care of you,” he edged closer, letting you feel his naked body enter your space, his face craning over your shoulder to gauge your reaction, “Just stay like this and let me feel you.”
It was less of a question and more of a plea, the only thing more pathetic sounding was the whimper that slipped out of you when you felt his body press against your back, warm and hesitant to press all the way into you, but close enough for you to feel his skin.
“Okay,” you let your head lull back onto the space between his collar bone and shoulder, keeping your eyes closed, not that you could see anything from this angle anyways, “I’ll stay just like this, promise.”
“I just-“ you could hear his walls come up, suddenly trying to find the words to explain himself to you, “I’m not-“
“Eddie,” you whisper, eyes fluttering open to glance up at him as much as you could, “it’s okay. I’ll stay just like this, I’m just happy to be here with you.”
You gently found his hands resting at your hips and guided them up to your soapy scalp, “We both know the real reason I called you in here anyways,” you joked, and angled your head straight forward so he could run the pads of his fingers all through your 3-in-1 coated hair.
He let out a light chuckle at your joke, nearly feeling it catch in his throat as all the passed time of insecurity and locking his feelings away welled up and shattered with the intimacy of washing your hair. What did he do to deserve having you like this? For you to understand and want him to stay anyways?
As much as his emotions clouded his vision and stunted his breathing, the rush of blood in between his legs broke his internal monologue. As overwhelmed as his mind was, his body couldn’t be convinced to focus on anything other than the sudsy girl pressed up against him, letting out little noises of satisfaction as he let his fingers absentmindedly massage away.
“This’s nice,” you lean back into him a bit, “it’s like masturbating, you know? Always feels better when someone else does it for you.” You didn’t feel too guilty about the sexually charged comment, considering the fat rod that was pushing into your lower back.
He let out a short chuckle, but his breathing was rapidly turning heavy as the air clouded with steam and your wet body rubbed against him, fully arching into his erection as if you wanted to get a better feel.
“Can I wash the rest of you?” his request is polite, but his voice is lust filled and bordering on begging.
You hum in agreement and lift your arms to let him slip his hands around you, one crossing your chest and the other reaching around to get more gel, “It technically is shampoo and body wash, and I was promised the full treatment here.”
As much as you wanted to keep joking with him, finding silly things to comment on to break the tension, your resolve was quickly going down the drain as his big hands lathered you up.
“You’re so beautiful,” his voice is just audible over the rushing of the shower water, “I’ve always thought so, but now I fucking know it.”
His warm breath against your ear manages to cut through the heat of the steam, making you shiver despite it all. “Eddie,” you whine, his hands running up and down your torso, spending more time on your chest than the rest, but surely showering you in as much attention as his hands could reach.
Knowing that tone from earlier, already committing to knowing your body as intimately as you’ll allow him to, he immediately gives in and touches you exactly where you want him most.
Most of the bubbles had dissipated, and he held you close to him, with one hand splayed across the center of your chest and the other dipping down to run two fingers through your now parting legs.
He could feel the slick of your folds, standing out from the water cascading down your body, so warm and wet in a different way.
“Fucking hell,” he groans out, letting his hips roll forwards slightly to find some friction against your backside, sliding his fingers from your hole up to your clit a few experimental times before letting his middle and ring fingers dip into you.
When he had gone to town on you earlier in his van, which somehow felt like a million light years ago, you had taken a keen interest to the way his metal rings brushed up against your inner thighs and lower lips when he slipped his digits into you. As much as you had reveled in that new sensation, he had taken all his jewelry off along with the rest of his clothes and reservations before joining you in the shower. And now you could grind down onto his hand until he was completely buried to the hilt of his knuckles, no demon heads or upside down crosses in your way.
You wanted to wiggle and writhe around, feeling a bit week in the knees and desperate to buck your hips down against his pumping fingers. He pressed your chest tighter against him, lips pressed up against your ear, “I thought you promised to be good and stay still for me.”
He could feel your pussy clench at that, letting out a satisfied chuckle and plunging his fingers right back into your cunt, letting the meat of his palm massage your clit in perfect time.
“S’ this what you wanted,” his voice had the full bodied confidence of a man who didn’t just ask you to not turnaround to see him without a shirt on, “for me to be all sweet and wash your hair, then make you cum on my fingers like the dirty girl I know you are?”
The smallest fraction of you wanted to be a brat and joke back at his silly use of shower innuendo, but your mind was almost entirely committed to the feeling of his hands on you and his dick rutting Into the meat of your ass.
“Eddie,” you could barely squeak his name out, “Eddie, can I touch you too, please? Please?” While his voice had been pleading before, you were literally begging to get your hands on him.
“Like this,” you manage to open your eyes, head still resting against his shoulder and your hand snaking back to where his cock pressed into you, not fully grabbing it but motioning towards it with your hand.
He snatches your wrist up with the hand not occupied with your tightening pussy, and for a second you fear that you had crossed a boundary.
As much as you were willing to comply with not looking, you were bursting at the seams to touch him, make him feel good, show him how much you wanted to be right here with him and nowhere else.
Before your mind could race any further, come to a screeching halt and apologize, he guides your hand up underneath your chin and demands “Spit.”
Your short circuiting brain dashes from his fingers, remaining crooked inside of you, his request, and the tone of voice he used to ask. You were fucked. Drool leaks from your lips before you even have the chance to process his words other than the immediate feeling of oh fuck yes.
He brings your spit coated hand back to reach around, allowing you to wiggle it in between your wet bodies and find his eager cock already arching into your touch.
He only faltered for a moment, the consistent dizzying pace of his fingers inside you stuttered the moment he felt your slick palm take an experimental stroke. The moan he let out was involuntary, along with a breathy “Oh, shit.”
Obviously you couldn’t size him up visually, but the weight of him in your palm was enough to have your mouth watering and thighs squeezing his wrist a bit tighter. Uncut? Maybe? With a pretty patch of curls to match his mop top?
“Just like that, please,” you whine out into the steamy air, the two of you finding a joint rhythm between your hands and subtly rolling hips.
“Your pussy feels so fucking good, so warm and tight for me,” every other word slurred into the curve of your neck.
“You’re gonna make me cum,” you try and match his increasing speed with your hand, “Eddie, please don’t stop, I’m-“
“Shhhh,” he was getting lost in it too, “I’ve got you.”
Your legs turn to jelly, but he keeps you steadily upright with his support on your chest, focusing entirely on you despite the welling orgasm of his own rapidly approaching.
It’s the crack in your voice that pushes him forward, the high pitched breathy moans crumbling and releasing the noises of pleasure from deep within your chest. His name mixed in with ahhhs and uhhhs as if his name is the only word you know in this moment.
“That’s right,” a sense of confidence welled in him as your limp body twitched against his and your cunt squeezed his relentless fingers, “cum all over my hand, doing so good for me.”
Despite your orgasm wracking your brain and body succumbing completely to whatever Eddie was willing to give you, the thought of collapsing into the shower floor never crossed your mind. He held you so close and steady against his chest, it crosses your mind that you may not be putting any weight onto your feet at all by this point.
Rather than catch your breath as you come down from your quaking orgasm, you slip deeper into the throws of pleasure, biting your lip and craning your neck backwards so he can see the fucked out expression on your face. A few more steady, enthusiastic pumps mixed with a desperate kiss, wet and at an awkward angle, breathless and needy, perfect and dizzying, sends Eddie over the edge with you.
The deep rumble of his chest against your back as he groans into your open mouth, encourages you to keep your pace as he gently fucks himself into your hand. He’s spilling into your hand and halting his wiggling fingers buried inside you, letting the momentum that the two of you had built up come to a pulsing end.
The two of you stay tangled in each other for a moment, hands sticky and brows dewy with sweat despite the running water, which had long lost its heat and now settled at a less than comfortable lukewarm. Neither one of you wanted to move. Eddie would have stayed there until his legs cramped and the shower turned ice cold.
His eyes were screwed shut, head tilted back, still holding you close until you wiggled from his iron grip to bring your cum covered fingers up to your lips to suck two of them clean.
“Jesus Christ,” he was thankful that he had opened eyes in enough time to witness that, “You’re gonna fuckin’ kill me, you know that?”
You let out a mischievous giggle with his cum coated fingers still in your mouth, glancing over your shoulder to catch the look on his face. Equal parts hungry to pick you up and fuck you against the shower wall right now, and melting down to nothing and slipping away down the drain, unable to even start comprehending what had just transpired between you two.
You let your fingers go with a pop and turn back around, “Don’t act like you weren’t going to do the same,” you let the chilling water hit your face, focusing on anything other than turning around and lunging at him, wrapping your body around his and letting your skin melt into his.
He gives into temptation and lets his pruny fingers meet his tongue. He knew what you tasted like from your escapade in his van eaierler, but he’d seize any change he got to take in as much of you as he could.
“That was,” he started, unsure how to sum how he felt, good, great, perfect, none of those words felt correct, “fuck, yeah- that,”
“Me too,” you press your back into his again, “Thank you Eddie.”
Before he can stumble over his words any more, you ask if he’s okay for you to shut the water off, and you ask if he’d be willing to spare some sleep clothes for you to borrow. You curiously stay in the shower while he takes your excuse for him to leave unseen.
After toweling off and slipping into the old t-shirt and boxers he left folded up on the counter for you, you found him already dressed and in bed, set criss cross and packing a bong.
“Post-shower-orgasm smoke, cuddle, then sleep?”
“I’d love nothing more,” you get cozy among the pillows and let the swirling smoke and easy conversation lull you into a comforting half sleep.
An easy energy settled between the two of you, a silent understanding that you weren’t going to ask him questions, and a building comfort that made him almost ready to show you.
You slept tucked into his side, and didn’t even mind his snoring or tossing in the night. Every time he rolled over, your sleeping form just found a new way to mold into him. It was the best he had slept in months.
A steady stream of sunlight blazing directly through the blinds and into your eyes pulled you from your slumber, gorging your groggy eyes to open and crunched up limbs to search for room to stretch. The involuntary fluttering of your eyes and long extension of your libs was far beyond your control.
“Oh!” You whisper out to yourself once your brain manages to catch up with your waking body, realizing the somewhat compromising position the night had thrown you into, your leg hiked up and clinging to Eddie’s waist, with both your arms scrunching up his t-shirt and leaving a strip of stomach exposed.
A negligible, unnoticeable few inches between where his sweatpants hung low on his hips and where your gripping arms had balled up his hole-ridden t-shirt stood before your gaze.
You didn’t mean to stare, and the moment you caught yourself doing so, you quickly and quietly removed your tangled limbs from his and repositioned yourself so that he was half spooning you, eyes facing far away from his unintentionally exposed scar tissue.
You knew it was probably going to be worse than you were expecting. You hadn’t dedicated much thought to what it could be, or what maybe had happened. You just knew it made him feel like he wasn’t worth your time, and you needed to make him feel seen and safe enough to know that that couldn’t be true.
Everyone has insecurities, sure. There are surely parts of yourself you weren’t eager to share with the world, let alone someone you’re romantically interested in. You had moved past being astonished that someone who wore gaudy costume jewelry and sang boisterous music for a bar of twelve patrons with the energy of someone who had sold out Madison Square Garden would ever shrink into their shell the way you had seen Eddie. Now, laying in his bed and knowing that whatever it was, the scars were more than what was on his skin.
“Mfffmmm,” he groans and shifts behind you, wiggling beneath the sheets and snaking his arms to wrap around your waist and pull you close into him, “This is nice.”
His morning voice was scratchy and barely above a whisper.
“I think you just like that my butt is all pressed up on you,” you joke, dodging admiring that you’d rather be here than anywhere in the world in this moment.
“Yeah, I’m not complaining,” he digs his nose into the side of your neck, “But you smell nice too, ’s nice to wake up to.”
“That 3-in-1’s really doing it for ya?”
“No, you do smell like that a little, but more just like yourself. Girl smell.”
“I’ll get started on that perfume line right away. Girl Smell. Might be a million dollar business venture.”
“I just woke up,” the sleep in his voice melted away and his hands running up and down your sides were more deliberate, “Don’t make fun of me. Plus I’ve got a pretty girl in my bed making me all nervous.”
“Anyone with magic fingers like you has nothing to be worried about,” you keep the conversation playful but allow the unspoken truth, that he truly has nothing to worry about with you, be spoken.
“You just like ‘em cuz I washed your hair so well,” he plays with a strand, letting his finger pads dig into your scalp and scratch away, massaging a bit harder after you let out a satisfied groan.
“You must have lots of practice,” you reach an arm back blindly and half smack the side of his shoulder before finding his messy bedhead, staying resolutely facing the poster-covered wall.
“You’ve got really pretty hair for a boy,” you let your finger wrap around a curl.
“For a boy?! Excuse me, I have pretty hair period.”
“Yeah, suppose that’s true” you giggle at his joking defensiveness, “It’s incredible that it’s this nice considering you use the same thing to condition your hair as you do to wash your balls.”
“If you show me what kind of shower products you like I’ll replace the three in one,” he nuzzles his face into the hand playing with your hair, “but maybe the three in one is what’s keeping it so luscious.”
“I wanna wash your hair next time,” you say absentmindedly, meaning it wholeheartedly, with little anxiety after that you had implied a next time.
“Yeah maybe next time,” his voice trailed off, still soft and flirty but edging on a tone that let you know this conversation was just about over.
“Eddie,” it came out as hardly more than a whisper. You wait for him to respond but the gravity of the silence between you quickly became unbearable and you needed to break whatever tension this was.
“I meant it yesterday when I said I wanted to go on more dates with you. You know that right?”
“Mhmm” he mumbles into your shoulder, still holding you against him.
“We have a lot of fun at the bar and stuff,” you search to find your words, “But I want you to know that I don’t just like you cuz you make me laugh and have magic guitar fingers. I like pretty much everything about you so far, and I want to know you more if you’ll let me.”
Your voice wavers, and your message is perhaps more vague than you would have liked, but the deep exhale he lets out conveys that he hears you loud and clear.
“I know I’ve been…” he starts, “It’s just that I…”
“It’s okay Eddie,” you flip around, rolling so that your chests are pressed together and noses are almost touching, “I don’t want to push it. You can tell me when you’re ready, I just want you to know that I like you a whole lot and I don’t think there’s much that could change that right now.”
His eyelashes flutter shut, forehead touching yours, “Thank you.”
“Unless you have a huge chest tattoo of something wildly offensive, or like a tramp stamp that says ‘I heart Ronald Regan.” He appreciates your natural ability to make him laugh even in situations like this.
“Nah,” he pulls back and gives you a serious look, “Fuck Ronald Regan.”
The two of you burst into a fit of giggles, rolling deeper into the sheets and settling into a comfortable cuddle again, with your head on his chest, face angled up to his and legs all tangled up.
Coming down from the beginnings of the conversation that had been lingering above both of your heads, you place a few reassuring kisses up his jaw and find your way up to his parted lips.
“Mmmm,” he hums into the deepening kiss to signal you to stop, “I probably have mega morning breath,” he huffs into a cupped hand which makes you laugh and flop your head back into his chest.
“It’s okay, if you do then I do too and didn’t notice,” you peek back up at him, “But if you want to brush teeth and get your day started I won’t stop you.”
“No, no,” he grabs your cheeks and pulls you back up for a smushed kiss, “I wanna stay here all day with you, if you’ll let me. Our second date, we can order a pizza and watch movies here, won’t even have to put pants on.”
“That sounds really nice, I don’t have work today so I’m all yours.”
“All mine,” his grin reaches the apples of his cheeks, “I will go brush my teeth though, cuz I think this second date involves a lot of kissing.”
“Got a spare I could use?” you shuffle out of bed before situating yourself on the edge of the bed, “Or do you brush with three in one too?”
“Oh my god,” he chuckles, “you with the three in one. After today I promise there will be three separate shower products stocked and ready for your use.”
He manages to find a spare toothbrush in the closet and keeps you wrapped in his arms while both of you take turns spitting into the sink. Looking at the two of you, eyes still crusty from sleep, in the scratched up bathroom mirror, a weird sense of domesticity washes over the two of you.
Eddie realizes that less than 48 hours ago he was too nervous to make a move to kiss you, and now he was already thinking about making room for your toiletries in his bathroom.
As comforting and easy it was to do normal everyday things with you at his side, he couldn’t help but notice your nipples poking through his oversized t-shirt you slept in and the way your toothpaste full mouth was framed by your perfect, spit slicked lips.
“You got a spit kink or something?” You half joke, pressing your ass into the growing rod you could feel nudging against your side.
“Sue me,” he spits and wipes the corners of his mouth, pulling you by the waist into a minty kiss. “Bed? All day?”
“Mhmm,” you agree and lean in to kiss him again, standing on your toes and letting out a shriek of surprise when he scoops you up bridal style and travels the short distance to his bedroom.
“Eddie!” You yelp out as he gently tosses you back into the pile of sheets.
“I know I’m no Hulk Hogan, but moving guitar amps is pretty good strength and conditioning.”
“Shut up, you never help your friends carry the equipment.” You think of all the times you watched his poor bandmates lug their equipment after a show while he seamlessly flirted with you.
“Not when you’re around, you’ve got me there.”
As promised the two of you laze around all morning, bowls of cereal in bed and a bowl of weed to accompany it, switching between fits of giggles and tangled in the sheets while a B horror movie plays on the little TV set propped up near the end of Eddie’s bed.
He tells you about how he used to live with his Uncle in a trailer down the street until he saved up enough to start renting his own, the three attempts to finish high school and the relief when the local mechanic shop hired him despite his reputation around town as a satan worshiper. He talks a bit about his friends, some who’ve stayed in town and others who’ve long moved away.
You listen attently, taking in every spared detail. In return he asks you about where you’re from, why the hell you had moved to a bumfuck town in Indiana to be a bartender. He assures you that you wouldn’t have liked him if you had known each other in high school and you laugh and tell him you were far from popular yourself.
After inhaling a large pizza and running out of VHS tapes you demand a “post pizza bloated cuddle” to which he happily obliges.
“Wish we could do this every day,” he pulls you into him.
“Then we’d need a much bigger movie selection, and maybe body doubles to go do our jobs,” you don’t disagree, although lazy and uneventful the day felt perfect.
“Don’t wanna go to work tomorrow,” he whines, holding you a little tighter.
“Me either, but we can’t be in this lazy cuddle bubble forever,” his hands came up to massage and scratch your scalp, which he now knew you loved, “but next time we’re both free maybe we can have that third date.”
“If I remember correctly, date three is when I finally get to kiss you,” he jokingly smooches behind your ear and down your neck.
“Only if you behave,” you reply sarcastically, “you’ve been such a gentleman lately, but you’ve been pushing it mister.”
“I’ve never been accused of being a gentleman before,” his voice trails off as he buries his nose into your neck, “Will you let me be a gentleman now, make you feel good?” His tone was suddenly dripping with lust, sending a rush of arousal through your already so-relaxed body.
“Mhmm,” you agree and let your body mold back into his a bit more, pressing yourself against him and letting his hands start to wander.
You arch your neck around from your spooning position and search for his lips, your kiss starting out gentle but not staying that way for very long.
“You’re just somethin’ else,” he breathes out in between heated kisses, his eyes big and round, earnest, making your heart swell.
“Can I make you feel good too?” you roll your hips into his erection, your breath catching in your throat when you feel it pulsing under his boxers and pressing into the space between your legs.
You flip around to straddle him, not hiding your intention to grind yourself down onto his covered cock, moans from both of you interrupting the hungry exchange of tongues and lips.
A shaky breath grabs your attention and he finds the air to exhale out, “Can I fuck you?”
You bring your hands to his cheeks to pull him into a deep kiss, continuing to rock your hips against him, giving him words as well you mumble a “Fuck yes, please, please Eddie.”
He finds the hem of your shirt and slips it over your shoulders, the momentary break in kissing makes you whine. He immediately makes it up to you by paying delightful attention to your exposed chest, leaving sloppy wet kisses on every inch of skin he had access to, “fuck”s and “so perfect” breaking them up.
You instinctively reach down in between the two of you to take his hard cock into your hand, still pressing your core against it, but taking the rest into your hand to stroke him over his boxers, the choked out moan that escapes him is the prettiest sound you’ve ever heard.
You’re losing yourself in the feeling of his weight in your palm, sitting up to see his gorgeous fucked out expression, pinched eyebrows and flushed cheeks.
He swore he’d died and gone to heaven, despite all his sins, with you above him, lip tucked in between your grinning teeth as you rubbed up on him. Fuck, there was no going back after this.
You lean down to resume making out for a moment, missing the feeling of his nose pressed into the side of yours and his too-perfect eyelashes brushing the tops of your cheeks.
“We can, um-“ you catch your breath, hips stuttering as you find your words, “I can turn around. Or we can make a blindfold or something.”
His heart swelled at the thought that amidst fucking yourself against his lap you still had the courtesy to think of his comfort, his obvious insecurity, the elephant in the room that he was so desperately trying to shoo away.
“I want you,” his voice strangely steady, “and I’ll let you have me, no stipulations.”
You nod with a “Please.”
“Only because, I plan on fucking you every chance I get,” his tone makes you clench your thighs, “So we might as well rip this bandaid off now, because if you’re going to be my girlfriend I don’t want you worrying that I’m hiding something from you.”
He flips you over so you’re now laying beneath him, eyes still glassy with lust and mind swirling with the words he’s just let out.
“I’m gonna take off my shirt now, and I don’t want you to pretend like everything is fine, or that you don’t notice anything, because that’ll be a thousand times worse, okay? I know it’s bad. It doesn’t hurt or anything, but I know it’s not easy to look at.”
With that he pull this black t-shirt off by the back neck collar, and bares his soul to you. You can tell he’s examining your face for a reaction, very carefully managing your facial expressions for his benefit.
He was right, it wasn’t easy to look at. Only because it made you wonder what horrible thing had happened to leave half of his torso, hip, thigh, and what you could only assume traveled onto his back as well, left entirely torn away and scarred.
“And-“ he cut off your wandering eyes with his words, “Don’t ask what happened. I’ll tell you eventually I just- We can’t have that discussion if we’re about to have sex.”
You nodded with understanding, you knew better than to ask.
You think that your snooping and seed of knowledge helped hide some of your shock, his comment about missing a nipple dampening your realization that he was telling the truth, the scar tissue running so deep that his entire pec was covered in a jagged pink , slightly mishapen scar tissue, and leaving his opposite nipple to stand alone on his chest.
The one thing that did leave you in a bit of shock was half of a tattoo on his hip that abruptly ended where the scar tissue started. Some sort of zombie head, the black ink lines all coming to a halt when’re his skin had been injured.
You let a tentative hand come up, fearing he’ll flinch away, but he doesn’t. You touch his chest, feeling the textural difference as you let your palm run across his chest and down to his hip.
“You know, I still think you’re super hot, right?” You try to assure him, but he only lets out a dry chuckle.
“I mean it,” you sit up a bit, pulling your hand from its exploration of his skin and bringing it to your own chest, using three fingers to cover your left nipple, “you’d still like me, right?”
The softness in his face almost made you jump up to wrap him into a hug, you wanted him to know that everything was okay and he was safe with you, whatever happened was in the past and he didn’t have to worry. Although the moment was emotionally charged, neither of you could ignore the fact that you were both ravenously horny for each other.
“I’m sorry you felt like you had to hide this from me,” you pull his face down to yours, “but I’m glad you showed me, because I’m so fucking ready for you to ruin me.”
He lurches forward and lets his body weight collapse down onto you, your legs widening to wrap around his hips, arm and legs locking him against you.
Feeling his bare chest pressed against yours, lips on your neck and hips rutting into your spread legs, has your head spinning.
“Please Eddie,” you whine, “let me feel you.”
Without missing a beat he shoves the waistband of his boxers down just enough to reach his thighs, hard dick springing free in the little space in between you, and he snatches your wrist and shoves it in between your bodies without unlatching his lips from your collar bone.
“Oh fuck,” you couldn’t see what you were grasping, just like in the shower, but you didn’t dare push him off of you to catch a glimpse. He was all over you, hands tangled in your hair, groans and whimpers hardly making their way out in between the wet sloppy kisses he spread across your neck and chest.
He slips a hand down your body, gracing your ribcage with his fingertips, a stark contrast to how they suddenly part your lips and rub the pool of slick from your hole up to your clit.
“So wet, this for me?” He quirks and eyebrow and sinks a digit into you, causing your mouth to open and hips to wiggle up to ask for more.
“Yes ’s for you,” you breathe out, wanting to give him some pushback, wipe the smug look off his face, but not finding an ounce of courage to do so. You just let your head lull back and eyelids flutter shut as he curls his fingers perfectly inside you. “All for you.”
You use your free hand to push your underwear as far down your hips as this position will allow, not wanting to shift your focus from the feeling of him on your lips, his pulsing cock in your hand.
“Need you,” you gasp out, partially at the feeling of his knuckle deep fingers buried inside of you, and equally the fucked out look on his face looming over yours, eyes blown wide and mouth parted on the verge of begging for more, “Eddie, need you to fuck me, please.”
He sits up and removes his fingers from you, earning a wince and a whine. He helps crunch your legs up to remove your panties, leaving your legs raised and crossed over one of his shoulders. He takes a moment to kiss your ankle and tenderly run his hands down the length of your leg. He took the moment to take off his own boxers, leaving you both bare in front of each other for the first time.
“You’ve got a pretty cock,” you complement him earnestly, it was pretty. He gave you a halfhearted scoff and an eyeball in return. “No Eds, I mean it. It’s big too, good thing you got me ready with your fingers. That and I’ve been soaking wet for you for like 48 hours now, so it shouldn’t be a problem,” you giggle. His shy smile tells you he’s willing to take the compliment.
You let your legs fall from their perch on his shoulder and fall to either side of his hips, opening yourself up to him. He’s staring, mouth half agape. It’s nothing he hasn’t seen before, but to have you laid out like this before him, fully ready to give yourself over to him and wanting him wholly in return, how couldn’t he stare.
You let your hand stroke up his cock, bringing his attention back to where the two of you nearly met. You angle him closer to you, you’re slowly pumping fist brushing against your own center. He snaps out of his trance and nudges your hand away, using his own grip to tap his thick cock against your opening.
Tap, tap tap. His head meets your slick folds, hips jerking slightly with every tap.
“Don’t tease me Eds,” you push your hips forward and are only met with him rubbing his dick into the outside of your pussy, “want you inside, need it so bad.”
He want’s to be a bother and continue his teasing, watching your writhe and squirm, but he can’t find it in him to deny you, so he presses the tip in and gauges your face for a reaction, only finding babbling bliss and pleas for more.
He’s sinking into you at an agonizing pace, craning down from his kneeling position above you to frame your head with bent arms and his lips on yours as you moan into each other’s mouths, him filling you more and more.
Your hands are in his hair, keeping your foreheads anchored together, breathing in tandem. He finally sinks all the way down and you can feel it in your lungs. You wrap your ankles around his back and squeeze him into you tighter, not wanting him to move just yet, wanting to just feel how deep he filled you up for the first time.
He lets out a shaky exhale and squeezes his eyes shut, “You were fuckin’ made for me,” he punctuates this with a subtle roll forward of his hips, lips falling into yours as if they had nowhere else to go.
You let your legs fall back, unclasping his hips, and move your hands from his wild hair down to his thighs, pushing him to start fucking you.
“Feel’s so fucking good,” you whisper into his mouth, your hands hardly assisting him anymore as he pumps in and out of your slick cunt, almost knocking the air out of you each time.
He grabs your chin with the hand that’s not propping himself up, “look at me,” his pace doesn’t falter and your mind nearly turns to mush, “you’re mine now, yeah?”
“Yes Eddie,” it comes out as a broken sob, your eyes barely able to focus on him with how close he was, “all yours, only yours.” Your mind had barely made the decision to say the words before they had escaped your lips, a dumbfounded truth serum setting over you in your cock drunk state.
You knew it to be true though, there was no going back after this, and you were willing to give yourself over fully, and accept anything he would give you.
“Ahh, fuck” you let out after a particularly harsh thrust, fists now dripping the sheets beneath you.
“So fucking good for me,” his hands now found purchase on your hips, setting a rhythm between you that only a musician could.
Through glassy eyes you admire him. Curly bangs stuck to his forehead, frantically thrusting torso making his tattoos look like stop motion cartoons, and through it all the scars are hardly noticeable. If anything, they’re just another part of him, the person between your legs that you found incredibly sexy, insecurities and all.
His perfect hands slid from your hips to your shoulders, now using the weight of your torso as leverage to fuck into you harder. His eyes bore into yours, searching for eye contact and finding your reassuring gaze that told him this was everything you wanted and more.
“Yes, yes, oh fuck,” you babble out. His little grunts and whimpers send volts of electricity to your core and fog your mind with lust and desire.
He moves a hand down to meet your center, palm splaying across your abdomen and keeping you pinned to the bed, thumb methodically catching your clit with each thrust. He didn’t have to ask if it felt good, the rolling back of your eyes and mouth so wide he could see your molars were enough of an indication that he was headed in the right direction.
“Mhmmmm,” you could hardly form words, but smiled up through your fucked out gaze at him, wide beam and lust fulled eyes telling him that he couldn’t possibly be making you feel any better than you do right now.
He leans back a bit, balancing himself on his thighs keeping his pace, thumb on your clit and eyes locked into yours. Through a groan he brings his unoccupied hand up to his face, biting down on the knuckle of his pointer finger, trying not to blow his load at the feeling of you squeezing around him.
Of course, this only made him look hotter to you, and thus you flexed around his cock even tighter.
Unexpectedly, he pulls out of you completely and before you can muster up the breath to complain, he’s dipped his lapping tongue against you. He fully buries himself into your cunt, cutting off the rhythm, of his cock with the somehow perfectly timed pulsing of his hungry tongue.
You can’t help but cry out, arch your hips, and send a hand flying to his hair to ground yourself. Through frantic panting and wet slurping sounds you think you can make out a “just had to taste you.”
Completely breathless, you can hardly conjure a response before he’s plunging into you again, fucking into you deeply and capturing your parted lips into a passionate kiss.
Something takes over you, and you’re suddenly wrapping your legs around his hips and using some found momentum to flip the two of your over. Suddenly, you’re on top of him, his curls splayed around his pretty face and body laid flat beneath you.
Before you had a moment to question yourself, you anchor your hands onto his shoulders and try your best to pick up the pace he had set earlier. Hips rolling and wet slapping sounds coming from between you.
“Jesus- fuck,” he stuttered in his movements, unsure if he wanted his hands on your face or your tits or your hips or… they landed on your ass and he wouldn’t argue with his first instincts.
“Eddie, I’ve wanted you like this for so long,” your words were breathy and mixed with lustful gasps, “always wanted to have you like this.”
“We could have done this a long time ago, huh?” He tries not to think about all the time wasted, and instead fantasies about all the making up for lost time you’ll do in the near future.
“You were always giving me those eyes while you played with your band,” you looked angelic to him, face hovering above him, framed only be the poor overhead lighting and flickering VHS menu of the last film you’d finished, “I always wanted you, just wasn’t sure you wanted me like this too.”
Your statement was simple enough, but he knew what you meant. You wanted him more than a fuck, and that’s what he had been worried about all along. Now, to have you sunk down on his cock like this, telling him that you had been scared in the same way as he had, only made him roll his hops up into you and pull your cheeks down for a sloppy kiss to seal the deal. You were finally on the same page.
Switching from a bounce of your hips, you lean back slowly and shift to more of a roll, keeping his cock buried deep inside of you while you gyrate your hips. Your arm extends back in between his spread legs to keep you stable, your torso finding its own rhythm in the midst of pleasure and fucking yourself onto his cock.
“So fucking perfect,” he gasps out, hardly able to take in the sight of your body writhing and rolling above him. He manages to find bait of sense in his brain and brings his hand back to your lower stomach, thumb flicking over your clit with every thrust of your hips.
“Oh,eddieohmygosh,” it came out as one breathy syllable, “pleasedon’tstopthat.”
He gently fucks himself up into you, matching your movements and not throwing you off of the sinful rhythm you’ve set, just managing too punctuate each bounce with the raise of his hips into yours and the increased pressure of his thumb on your clit.
“Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck,” he loves the way each breathy word out of your lips is matched with the beautiful bounce of your tits, “Eddie, you’re gonna-“
He doesn’t change a thing, the pressure on your clit, the arch of his hips, he would sooner die than rob you of pleasure or ruin this moment. Every moment he get’s to look at you, he thinks it’s the most beautiful you’ve ever looked, but he knows for sure that this one takes the cake.
“Ahhh, I’m-“ you don’t have to finish your statement for him to know you’re cumming on his cock, the pulsing squeeze of your walls and intense concentration from him not to bust on the spot, and rather to focus on the parting of your lips and the twitching of your hips on his.
“That’s it,” he keeps his thumb on your clit, but lets up on the pressure as soon as he feels you jerk against him, “that’s my girl.”
You lurch down and wrangle him into a kiss, only wanting to feel his lips on yours as you come down from your orgasm. You’re still slowly rolling your hips against his, but focused more on the feeling of his cheeks under your palms and his lips on yours.
“You okay?” He asks in between tongue tied kisses.
“Yes, perfect, thank you,” you arch your back into him a bit, “ready for more.”
Although you were fully prepared to bounce on his cock until he came, you were pleasantly surprised when his large hands surrounded your waist and hoisted you up off the bed. He wanted to try and keep his cock inside you, but accepted defeat as he managed to situate on the edge of the bed.
He shifted around you and situated himself in between your legs. You laid out, everything below the knees hanging off the edge of his hand-me-down mattress. He stood above you and lowered himself to land a few wet kisses on your breasts, his hard cock pressing into your needy center.
He jerked you up by the underside of your knees, pressing your thighs into your chest and sinking down into your open pussy, causing a deep groan to emit from both of you.
Here he was, scars and all, standing above you and thrusting into you as if it was the last thing he would ever do, and he looked like an angel to you.
More thoughtful than you may have initially given him credit for, his thumb finds your clit again and he politely, yet breathlessly asks, “Can you come again for me, pretty girl?”
How could you say no to that. You dumbly nod and throw your head back against the sheets, your hands balled up at your sides as he thrusted into you, grunting and moaning your name.
“So fucking good Eddie,” you manage to squeak out, “You make me feel so fucking good.”
“Ah fuck, yeah, yes,” his voice nearly jumped an octive, signaling his release. “Where should I-“ he began to ask.
“Inside,” it came out as two syllables in-between breaths, “It’s okay you can come-“
“Fuuuuuck,” a strangled moan and a collapse of his arms, along with the delicious pulse of his cock inside you signaled his release.
Before you could eve catch your breath, regain consciousness of the situation, he was reeling back and replacing his softening cock with two fingers. He latched his lips to your clit and began to suck in time with his finger’s replication of his cock’s earlier movements.
“Oh my god,” you were truly taken aback, his face buried in your cunt and setting you back on track to your building orgasm.
It didn’t take more than a minute and a half of him slurping your mixed releases from your cunt and bullying your g-spot with those damn magic fingers to send you hurdling towards orgasm number two, shaking and crying out his name.
It wasn’t until your legs were truly shaking and your hand was searching for his forehead to push him away from overstimulation that he finally let up and let up of your pussy with a wet pop and a smug look.
“You come?” He asks again, just as he had in the back of his van.
You don’t have the energy to respond, only roll your eyes and flip him the bird as you flop back down onto his bedsheets.
He managed to get you a warm rag and a cold glass of water, stroking your har and asking if you felt alright.
“Feel perfect Eddie,” you say after a long gulp, “you took such good care of me, you always do.”
He stroked your hair and positioned the two of you back comfortably beneath his sheets. “Thank you,” he starts, but you cut him off with a kiss.
“No, thank you,” you kiss him again, “for trusting me.” The look in your eyes could nearly make him melt. “You’re really something special Eddie, I mean it.”
“Special enough for a fourth date?”
You smack his chest and bury your head into his neck. “I don’t think we have to count dates if I’m your girlfriend now…”
Those dimples you adore perk up on his cheeks, and he bear hugs you, scarred chest and all.
“What time should I set the alarm for tomorrow?” He asks with a sorrow in his voice.
“How about never,” you roll over to trample him with another kiss, smothering his body in yours, knowing you’d be luck enough to have many moments like this soon to come.
A/N: I'm sorry I have long lost the tracking of a taglist (crying emoji) don't want to bother anyone who asked to be added the last time I wrote a pic ten thousand years ago, so I hope this reaches everyone it needs to <3
#eddie munson smut#eddie munson fic#smut#Eddie munson imagine#Eddie munson#stranger things smut#Eddie munson fanfiction
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TWTHH Spinoff: Written in the Stars [2]



Pairing: military strategist!Mingi x royal physician!reader
AU: historical au (Joseon era)
Word Count: 10.3k 🤡
Summary: Mingi had spent countless years searching for the angel who saved his life when he was on the verge of death. He believed god was on his side when she finally reappeared before him, but she was now so near yet so far, so unobtainable. No longer just a young medical trainee, she had become an esteemed royal physician—a woman working within the palace walls. And what did that mean? It meant she now belonged to His Majesty.
Part 1 | Main Story | Spinoff Masterlist
"I still can't believe you actually said yes to him. What happened to love being a luxury for us, hm?" Subin teased, not letting you off the hook since she found out about the military strategist's bold invitation. That was surprising enough, but nothing shocked her more than your acceptance.
You sighed, tightening the bow of your hanbok before heading to the full-length mirror in your room to check your hair. "Oh, stop it. You know this is nothing more than a way to demonstrate our teamwork. Officer Song is a colleague, and we are simply taking the chance to network and show support for the union with Ruhon."
She rolled her eyes. "Sure, you keep telling yourself that, unnie."
You truly didn’t want to think much of it.
You were already planning to attend the banquet anyway, with or without Mingi's invitation. As one of the more senior and recognised royal physicians in the palace, your attendance at these events was mostly expected. While his attempts to spend time with you hadn't gone unnoticed, you treated them as nothing but friendly gestures.
As you finished adjusting your hanbok, you resolved to keep things strictly professional. Whatever he thought might happen, you would make it clear that you were unavailable. You would convince him to give up, knowing his efforts would only be in vain.
Right, let's get this over with.
The evening of the banquet arrived, and the palace buzzed with activity. Lanterns illuminated the courtyards, and the air was filled with music and laughter. Excitement filled you as you stepped out of the female physicians' quarters to find the tall and dashing military strategist already waiting. He wore a grand hanbok, a stark contrast to his usual training clothes. His hair was slicked back, and his hands were clasped behind his back as he paced, eyes fixed on the ground.
You took a deep breath to calm your racing heartbeat. After all, you were only human, and this was a stunning man before you. But you had to remind yourself that nothing was ever going to happen between you two and that you had only agreed to attend the event with him as a gesture of camaraderie.
Nothing more, nothing less.
After composing yourself, you cleared your throat and called out, "Officer Song, you really didn't have to come all the way here. I could have just met you at the grand hall along with everyone else."
Mingi perked up, his heart thundering at the sound of your voice. When he turned to face you, his breath momentarily caught at the sight of you so dressed up. You were always beautiful to him, but tonight, you were even more enchanting.
He bowed slightly and stepped closer. "You look… perfect, my lady."
You blinked rapidly, hoping the blush you felt wasn’t obvious on your face. He continued, "Of course, I had to come here. What kind of gentleman would I be if I didn’t? More importantly, you're not just anyone else to me, Royal Physician Ahn. You're my—"
Not wanting to hear the rest, you flashed a large, courteous smile. "Ah, we should probably head over if we don't want to be late. Let us go, Officer Song," you said, cutting him off. His smile faltered slightly before he nodded. "R-right, let us."
Throughout the night, the military strategist remained faithfully by your side. Unfortunately, his attentive gestures did not go unnoticed by those around you, leaving you flustered and repeatedly clarifying that you were merely colleagues.
"Really, Royal Physician Ahn? That's a shame, you two would make a beautiful couple," teased Lady Park. You sputtered, choking on your drink. She panicked and reached over to pat you on the back, glancing at a very concerned Mingi who was conversing with the general. With a reassuring smile, she mouthed, "I'll take care of her."
Officer Song resisted rolling his eyes as Seonghwa smiled dreamily at his adorable wife, not realising he was just as guilty of it—if only he knew he looked the same whenever you were around.
"I-I'm fine. Thank you, Lady Park. But I assure you, nothing can happen between us. It is forbidden; I am a woman of the palace."
The pregnant woman grinned in response. "So, are you saying that if you weren't a palace woman, you definitely would have given General Officer Song a chance?"
You sighed, offering her a half-hearted smile. "There's no use pondering that, my lady. It's impossible," you whispered the last part.
She softened, touching your shoulder gently. "Nothing is impossible if only you desire it hard enough, my dear."
Your heart warmed at her words, but you knew better than to believe them. With an appreciative nod, you gestured to her baby bump. "So, how has pregnancy been treating you, my lady?" you asked, steering the conversation away from dangerous territory. You were afraid of temptations and could not afford to give in to any of them.
The conversation with Lady Park was cut short when a certain fourth prince appeared behind her, hesitantly taking an uncertain step forward. You blinked, trying not to stare too obviously, but she noticed your eyes shifting toward something over her shoulder.
With furrowed brows, she wondered aloud, "Just what are you looking at, Royal Physician Ahn?" She turned and froze upon locking eyes with Prince Yeosang. As she moved to bow, he hurriedly reached out to stop her, gently holding her by her forearms.
"It's been a while, my lady. Would you… care to catch up?" he asked.
She bit her lip, turning to meet her husband's warm gaze. Seonghwa nodded, signalling that the decision was up to her, and she excused herself to speak with her friend. It didn't take a genius to figure out that the prince's one-sided feelings for Lady Park persisted. Everyone in Joseon had heard of His Highness' not-so-subtle advances back then. The gossip at that time was quite juicy, but it was good to see him accepting defeat gracefully. The once bratty fourth prince had disappeared; it seemed the general's wife truly had a strong hold on his heart, changing him for the better even with her firm rejection.
You were snapped out of your thoughts when your chaperone reappeared by your side. You weren't sure how to feel around the gentle giant. His presence was both comforting and unnerving.
"Everything alright?" Mingi asked softly, concern evident in his eyes.
"Yes, everything is fine," you replied, smiling up at him. "Just a bit of palace drama."
He chuckled, nodding in understanding. "Palace drama indeed. Shall we continue to mingle, or would you like to take a break?"
You appreciated his attentiveness, but the whirlwind of emotions from the evening had left you feeling somewhat drained. "A break sounds nice," you admitted.
Mingi beckoned for you to follow and you did, allowing him to lead you to a quieter corner of the grand hall. As you walked, you couldn't help but feel a mixture of gratitude and apprehension. The evening was proving to be far more eventful than you had anticipated, and you knew you had to stay vigilant against his allurements that seemed to be lurking at every turn.
As you both reached a more secluded area, he quickly said, "Wait here, I'll get you something to drink."
You sighed, reaching for his arm. "You don't have to do that, Officer Song. I don't want anyone to misunderstand. I've been meaning to tell you: there's nothing between us, and there never will be."
He paused, turning to face you properly. You looked away almost immediately, guilt gnawing at you as you caught a glimpse of the hurt reflected in his eyes. A heavy silence settled between you, each struggling to collect your thoughts.
Mingi knew winning your heart wouldn't be easy, but the early rejection still stung deeply. Finally, he spoke, his voice soft but steady. "I understand your concerns, truly. But my intentions are genuine. I'm sorry if I've caused you any discomfort or misunderstanding. I just want you to know how much I care."
You bit your lip, the sincerity in his words making it even harder. "I appreciate your honesty, but I have my duties and responsibilities. My life is here in the palace, and I can't afford distractions."
He nodded slowly, taking a step back to give you space. "I respect your dedication. I just… before I let you go, there's one thing I need to know. We've actually met each other years ago. Did you… did you remember me when you saw me again?"
Your expression remained unreadable as you mustered a response. After what felt like an eternity, with the military strategist standing with bated breath and his heart pounding in his ears, you finally met his eyes and softly said, "No, I'm afraid don't know what you're talking about. I'm sorry, Officer Song…"
His heart sank. "Oh."
The weight of his disappointment hung in the air. He took a step back, struggling to mask the hurt that flashed across his face. He had held onto the hope that perhaps, even faintly, you had remembered him. That tiny hope had been a beacon for him, a justification for his persistence. But now, it seemed all for naught.
What if His Majesty had been right?
"That's… that's okay," he finally said, forcing a weak smile. "I must have been mistaken."
You nodded, the guilt intensifying as you watched him grapple with his emotions. "I'm really sorry. Perhaps you have."
Except that was a complete lie.
You remembered. In truth, you had never forgotten. How could you? To have seen Song Mingi in person was to understand that he wasn't someone easy to forget, even when pale and sickly on his deathbed. He was undeniably gorgeous. Beyond his appearance and physique, his warm gaze, soft touch, and sweet words lingered in your memory, impossible to leave behind.
You'd recognised him since day one.
It took everything in you to maintain a composed façade and steady your racing heart as you locked eyes with the military strategist for the first time in years. Before you stood a man, well and strong, embodying everything you had ever wanted.
But you had to quell your desires, silence your dreams, and dismiss any thoughts of the impossible. Years had passed, and you had assumed he was married by now. Later, you discovered he wasn't.
Yet, it changed nothing.
You were now a palace woman, and that sealed the hopelessness of your situation. So you chose to pretend, to feign ignorance of your shared past. It was for the best—for him and for you.
Sometimes, you wondered if you were trying to convince him or yourself more. It was the very reason you dreaded seeing him; not out of dislike or annoyance, but because you were just as captivated by him as he was by you. Had you been an ordinary physician outside the palace walls, you would have accepted his love in a heartbeat.
But things were different now.
Rules were rules.
You and General Officer Song were a beautiful impossibility, and you had to do everything to keep it that way.
Yet, his constant presence was a quiet storm, eroding your resolve. Every gentle gesture, each attempt to show he could protect and cherish you, made it increasingly difficult. His persistence, so tender and genuine, weakened your defences, and you were frightened—terrified, even—of the feelings blooming within you.
Why must he be so cruel?
His kindness, his sincerity, his unwavering dedication—they all tugged at your heartstrings, weakening your defenses. Every time he appeared with that soft smile, every time he looked at you with those earnest eyes, it became increasingly difficult to remember why you had to keep him at arm's length.
And tonight, standing in the secluded corner of the grand hall, facing the man you had spent years trying to forget, you felt your carefully constructed walls begin to crumble. The reality of your situation pressed heavily on you, a constant reminder of the boundaries that could not be crossed.
Song Mingi, with his genuine concern and quiet strength, embodied everything you had ever wanted but could never have. His mere presence was a cruel reminder of what could have been in another life, another world. A world where you were free to love him without consequence.
But you weren't in that world. You were here, bound by duty and rules that were impossible to break. So you swallowed your feelings, pushed down the burgeoning hope, and forced yourself to remember the impossible nature of your situation.
Because letting yourself love him—truly, deeply love him—would only lead to heartache for you both. And you couldn't bear the thought of causing him any more pain than you already have.
You sighed, swallowing the lump forming in your throat as you gazed up at him solemnly. "I, uh… I'm feeling rather tired. I shall retire to my quarters for the night. Thank you for accompanying me tonight, Officer Song. It truly is a joy to befriend Lady Park. It's also wonderful to finally see Joseon and Ruhon getting along well. It seems like things are really looking up for us."
But they weren't.
Both of you thought it, but neither dared to say it aloud.
You smiled courteously, bowing respectfully. "Goodnight, Officer Song. I hope you enjoy the rest of the banquet with your friends."
Just as you turned to leave, he reached out an arm to stop you, though not touching you. Damn it. Damn him and his gentlemanly gestures. "Wait, my lady. Please allow me to escort you back—"
You bowed again, cutting him off, afraid to hear the rest of it. "Please enjoy the rest of the banquet."
With that, you left, leaving behind a strong man staring longingly after you like a lovesick puppy. You didn't have the courage to spare a final glance at him, knowing another look at his pleading eyes would make you give in, and you couldn't have that. Not now. Not ever. You needed to put an end to this.
As you walked away, your heart ached with every step. The distance between you and Mingi grew, but the weight of your emotions only became heavier. The grand hall's festive atmosphere faded into the background as you focused on maintaining your resolve.
Arriving back at the female physician's quarters, you couldn't summon the energy to put on yet another fake smile for Subin. Your friend waited excitedly for you by the entrance, but her beam faltered as she registered the expression on your face.
"You told him to stop, didn't you?" she asked softly, reaching over to grab your hand.
You nodded wordlessly, too weary to say anything more. Subin wrapped an arm around your shoulder, guiding you into your room, murmuring, "It'll be okay… I'm here."
You broke into a tiny smile, leaning into her hold appreciatively. Her warmth and understanding were a balm to your frayed nerves. As you settled into the familiar comfort of your quarters, the weight of the evening began to lift, if only slightly.
Subin's presence was a reminder that you weren't alone, even in your struggle to keep your feelings at bay. She helped you sit down, then knelt beside you, her eyes filled with concern and compassion.
"I know it's hard," she said gently, "but you're strong. You did what you had to do."
You sighed, closing your eyes as you leaned back against the wall. "I just... I can't believe I'm saying this, but I just wish things were different, you know?"
She nodded, squeezing your hand. "I know, unnie. But remember, you're not alone in this. We'll get through it together. Besides, you said it yourself: we have each other, and we have our duty. That's enough. It has to be."
Her words, though simple, offered a small measure of solace. You knew the path ahead would be challenging and that things with the military strategist would never be the same again, but with her by your side, you felt a glimmer of hope.
"Trust me, you'll get over it in no time."
God, I sure hope so.
Meanwhile, Mingi did his best to keep it together for the rest of the event. After all, you had told him to enjoy it with his friends, so he did—or at least he tried his hardest. Feigning a huge grin, he returned to General Park and Royal Secretary Choi's side, casually mentioning that you had retired early. He didn’t want to burden them with his love troubles; the last thing he wanted was their pity. He didn't need to feel any worse than he already did.
Despite having braced himself for the possibility of hearing those words, the pain of your rejection cut deep. "There's nothing between us, and there never will be." Those words echoed in his mind like a broken record as he lay in bed that night, unable to find solace in sleep. He was caught between the urge to fight harder for you and the need to honour your wishes.
Yet, he couldn't shake the image of your face when he asked if you remembered him. The fleeting look of conflict troubled him deeply. Why did you seem so torn? Why did you hesitate? Could you have been lying? If so, why hide the truth? He needed answers. Whether or not you would ever be his, he needed to know them.
Mingi resolved to seek those answers, slowly and carefully. In the process, he hoped to soften your seemingly hardened heart, guarded by steel walls that showed cracks despite your efforts to conceal them. He might have been a fool most of the time, but his attentiveness had never been keener than now. All for you. Because he believed fate must have brought you back into his life for a reason.
"You good, hyung?" Junghoon asked, feeling his mentor shift on the bed for what seemed like the thousandth time that night.
The older man nodded despite the internal turmoil within him. "Yeah, I'm fine. Go to sleep already, young man."
"I'm trying... if only you'd stop moving."
Heaving a sigh, Mingi turned to face his apprentice. "Hey, what do you think it means when a woman tells you to stop pursuing her but looks really sad while saying it?"
The younger man rolled his eyes. There goes my sleep, he thought as he pushed himself up into a seated position, legs folded and hands intertwined. "Alright, sit your dumbass up. Time for Love Lessons for Dummies 101."
"Are you sure this is going to work? She's not—" Mingi's words were cut off by his apprentice, who mocked him with air quotes. "'Not like other girls.' Yeah, yeah, I know. That's what every man says about his crush. Trust me, women are all the same. Nothing melts their hearts more than an attentive and caring man. Now go before she's already out for her lunch break."
Junghoon had finally convinced his mentor to see his dream girl after avoiding the royal medical hall for nearly a week, giving you the space you needed. But Mingi knew that to win your heart, he couldn’t stay away. He'd have to approach gently and slowly.
With a handmade lunchbox in hand, the military strategist's first mission was to show you he wasn’t bound by gender norms, relegating kitchen tasks only to women. He wanted to demonstrate what having a husband like him would be like. If you wished, he could drop by each day with lunch prepared just for you.
His heart pounded with anticipation when he arrived at the medical hall for the first time in what felt like forever. He had missed you like crazy, each day without seeing you dragging on like a year. As he stepped inside and approached the counter, confusion set in when you were nowhere in sight. Could you have gone out with the first batch of royal physicians for your lunch break? That was odd; you always preferred the second batch.
"Good day, Officer Song. Are you injured or feeling unwell?" one of your colleagues asked, snapping him out of his thoughts. Mingi blinked and cleared his throat. "N-no, I'm here for Royal Physician Ahn. Is she already out for lunch?"
Your colleague suppressed a knowing grin, pursing her lips before answering, "She's not. She hasn't been in for a few days now. She's been down with food poisoning ever since attending the royal banquet with you."
Mingi felt his heart sink.
He muttered a quick thanks and dashed out, his feet moving automatically towards the female physicians' quarters. Nothing else mattered; he needed to see you, to know you were okay, to apologise for not taking better care of you that night.
Meanwhile, you pressed your face into your pillow, curling into a ball and clutching the comforter around you as another stab of pain hit your stomach. The discomfort was unbearable, making it impossible to go to work today. Seeing your agony, the head of the royal physicians had allowed you a day or two to feel better before returning to the royal medical hall.
As the pain subsided and you slowly felt a wave of drowsiness enveloping you, an unusual rustle from outside alerted you. Someone was there. But who? Everyone else should be at work. Was it Subin coming to check on you? Your thoughts were interrupted when your breath hitched, realising a man's silhouette was standing by your room entrance through the paper walls.
What fool would dare come here, a place meant only for women? Not even eunuchs were allowed in, let alone a well-built man of his stature. Was it a prison escapee? Lord knows what he'd do if he found you alone. Before you could attempt to get up and go someplace safe, another sharp pain hit, and the wince you let out was inevitable. Unfortunately, the man heard you and immediately reached to pull the doors open.
As the door slid open, your heart raced, fear gripping you as you braced for the worst. But instead of a stranger, you saw Mingi's concerned face. His eyes widened in alarm as he rushed to your side.
"Physician Ahn, are you alright?" he asked, his voice filled with worry.
"O-Officer Song? What in the world are you doing here?" you managed to say between breaths, the pain still lingering.
"I heard you were sick. I had to make sure you were okay," he replied, his voice softening as he knelt beside your bed.
The concern in his eyes was genuine, and despite the awkwardness of the situation, a small part of you felt relieved. "You're not supposed to... you shouldn't be here," you whispered, the rules and propriety still at the forefront of your mind.
"I know, but I couldn't stay away," he said, gently placing a hand on your arm. "I'm here to make up for my mistake. I should have been more attentive. This is all my fault."
You frowned, pushing yourself up to a sitting position as the pain subsided again. "What do you mean by that? How is any of this your fault? This has nothing to do with you."
He sighed. "Nonsense. If only I’d been more attentive to what they served you at the banquet, you wouldn’t have been suffering from food poisoning this badly."
"F-food poisoning...? Who told you that?" you asked, already having a clue. He twiddled his fingers nervously. "One of your colleagues. I was at the medical hall earlier and you weren’t there. She told me you were sick, and I came here as fast as I could..."
Squeezing your eyes shut, you were exasperated at your friends’ mischievousness. They hadn’t let you live it down since learning you had gone to the royal banquet with the military strategist, though they didn’t know what had transpired between you two or how the night had ended. The teasing was one thing, but you didn’t think they’d actually go this far. But of course, they probably didn’t think this fool would actually come here himself instead of sending a court lady to check on you.
You sighed. "I don't have food poisoning… it's just that time of the month. You know, the women thing…" His eyes widened in horror, and his cheeks turned red with embarrassment. He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, muttering, "Gosh, why'd she lie about this?"
You pulled your comforter close as another cramp hit. "Listen, I'm not in the mood to talk right now. Besides, you really shouldn't be here. I appreciate you checking on me, but you should leave. We'd both be in huge trouble if someone saw you here."
He nodded quickly, gesturing to the bag he had brought with him. "Right, I-I'll leave immediately. These are for you, by the way. I made them myself. Please enjoy them when you're feeling hungry."
Usually, you would have melted at that, but you really needed him gone. "Yes, thank you."
As if the world had something against you, just as the military strategist neared the door, another familiar silhouette appeared at the entrance. "Are you feeling any better, my dear? I've come with some heat packs to soothe the cramps," the head of the royal physicians called out, her hands reaching for the door handle.
Mingi froze, and you panicked, all menstrual pain forgotten as you jumped out of bed and rushed towards him, exclaiming loudly, "I'm feeling much better, Head Physician Seo! Thank you for your concern. Would you give me a minute? I'm not properly dressed."
You sighed in relief when that worked like a charm as she removed her hand from the door handle and took a step back. "Oh, my apologies. Of course, let me know when you're ready."
Scanning the room in alarm, you hurried to the cabinet that usually held your mattress, pillows, and comforters when you weren't sleeping, now empty. "Get in here, quick!" you whispered urgently. He obeyed, moving as stealthily as he could to avoid making a sound and raising suspicion.
Oh god, can things get any worse today?
After shooting him a stern look and pressing your pointer finger against your lips to signal a firm 'be quiet,' you shut the cabinet doors and took a deep breath. Plastering on a huge smile, you opened the door for your superior, letting her in. She smiled warmly, handing you the heat packs she'd brought. "Is everything okay? I thought I heard someone in here earlier."
Your breath caught as you noticed Mingi's bag still by your bed. Quickly moving to conceal it with your hanbok, you feigned innocence. "Huh, really? That's weird. It's only me. I'm sure it's nothing."
She shrugged and nodded. "You're probably right. I guess all the lack of sleep must be getting to me. Well then, it’s good to see you doing better. I shall get back to work then."
You mustered a fake laugh. "That must be it, ma'am. Thank you so much for the heat packs. I really appreciate it."
She patted your cheeks softly. "Anything for my best physician. Hope to see you back at work tomorrow."
You nodded, waving goodbye as she left. As you shut the door, exhaustion overwhelmed you, and you sank to your knees. The cabinet doors creaked open as the tall man emerged, muttering, "Phew, that was close—"
As if jinxing it, your superior returned. "Oh yes, my dear!" she called through the door.
Rushing up to Mingi, you smacked a palm over his mouth to shut him up as you answered her, "Yes, ma'am?"
She chuckled. "I heard that General Officer Song of yours dropped by the medical hall earlier, seemingly with lunch prepared for you. Don't be so hard on him, hm? I know we’re not allowed to love, but he's a sweet guy. At least be a friend to him. We’re still allowed to have friends, you know? Please don’t deprive yourself of that right too."
You swallowed, meeting Mingi’s eyes as they softened at your pained expression. "I understand. Thank you, ma'am."
Finally, she left for good this time. Eyes locked with his, you pondered her words. Could you really be friends with this man? Just... friends? Perhaps that was all you could ever be.
In that moment of closeness, you became acutely aware of your position, your hand still covering his mouth, his hands gently supporting you on your back. The atmosphere crackled with tension until it was broken by the rumble of his stomach. Flustered, you withdrew, your heart racing.
What in the world just happened...?
With a nervous bite of your lip, you dared to break the silence. "You uhh... haven't eaten either, have you?"
He shook his head bashfully, his eyes reflecting a mix of embarrassment and longing. "No, I haven't."
Oh, to hell with it.
You gestured towards the lunch he had brought. "Join me then."
Things had obviously shifted between you since then, and it did not go unnoticed by those around you. General Officer Song started coming by the medical hall at least once a week, no longer pretending to have an injury but simply to share lunch with you.
As friends.
That was what you told your friends, colleagues and every other palace staff whenever they tried to tease you. Yes, friends. That was all there was to it. All you both were ever going to be. Nothing more, nothing less. Just friends. Good friends. That was all you would allow… all you were allowed, really.
But you were happy with it. You had to be. It wasn't something you had a say in.
This was your life.
Mingi's visits became an oddly comforting routine. Every week, he would show up with a handmade lunch, and you would sit together, talking and laughing. The bond between you grew stronger, and although you constantly reminded yourself that you were just friends, there was an undeniable warmth in your interactions.
One afternoon, after the military strategist had patiently waited for you to finish caring for a patient, the two of you shared lunch in a quiet corner of the medical hall. He looked at you with a soft, contemplative expression. "You know," he began, "the first time I saw you, I thought you were the most admirable woman to exist. I'm glad I wasn't wrong. You really are an angel sent by the heavens."
You felt a flutter in your chest but quickly suppressed it, grinning softly. "Am I really? You know I'm not the only female physician around. The others are just as admirable."
Yes, but they're not you.
He nodded, though his eyes held a depth of emotion you couldn't quite decipher. "I suppose you're right," he said gently.
Not wanting to dwell on the serious atmosphere, you playfully nudged him on the shoulder. "Of course I am. I'm always right. And I bet you were a complete crybaby the day we first met, wailing like a child as you received treatment."
He scoffed, pressing a hand to his chest dramatically and feigning offence. "I was not. I'll have you know I was the most courageous soldier on site that day."
Brave enough to ask you out.
"Sure you were," you mocked sarcastically, sticking your tongue out at him. Your heart warmed internally because he was right. You remembered how calm he was despite the pain he endured. But he could never know you remembered. Never. That would complicate things too much, and you didn't need that. Not now, not ever.
Things were perfect as they were.
Or were they?
Irked by your teasing, he swiftly reached out to snatch a piece of dumpling—your favourite—from your lunchbox and stuffed it into his mouth as revenge. You let out a surprised yelp, smacking him on the arm. "Wha—hey! That was my last piece! Give it back, Song Mingi!" Your laughter filled the space as you wrestled with him, his eyes disappearing into adorable slits as he hurriedly chewed on the dumpling, annoying you with it. He chortled, speaking through his mouth full, "Ha! That's what you get!"
The fun was abruptly cut short when the head of the royal physicians appeared at the doorway. "Am I interrupting something?" she asked, her tone light but curious.
You sputtered and shook your head, immediately pushing yourself off the tall man. "Absolutely not, ma'am. He was just about to leave. We're done eating," you said, glaring playfully at Mingi as he swallowed the last of your dumpling.
The military strategist bowed respectfully to the elderly woman, seizing the opportunity to escape your wrath. "I apologise for taking up so much of Royal Physician Ahn's time. I'll leave at once," he said.
She shook her head, smiling warmly. "Don't apologise. I'm not sure I've seen Physician Ahn this happy in a good while. Please stay for a bit more if you wish, Officer Song."
Both your cheeks grew warm at her words as Mingi scrambled to pack up his belongings and leave, clearly shy. "Thank you, ma'am, but I really shouldn't. Besides, I have training to attend as well."
With a final bow to you both, he was gone, leaving you standing there, your heart still racing from the sudden interruption and the unexpected compliment from your superior.
Head Physician Seo approached you, a knowing smile on her face. "You and General Officer Song seem really close. Are you sure there's nothing more going on?"
You laughed lightly, shaking your head. "We're good friends. That's all."
She raised an eyebrow but didn't press further. "Well, as long as you're happy. I'm glad you took my advice and allowed him in."
You nodded, reaffirming your own belief. "You were right, it's nice to have someone who genuinely understands and cares."
In the back of your mind, you couldn't ignore the ache of wanting something more, but you reminded yourself that this was your reality. And so, you continued to cherish the time spent with him, finding solace in the friendship that had blossomed between you.
As the weeks turned into months, the boundaries of your friendship were constantly tested. Every shared smile, every lingering glance, and every comforting touch made it harder to maintain the illusion. Deep down, you both knew what you had was special, even if you could never openly acknowledge it.
Despite the constraints, you found happiness in the moments you shared. Each lunch, each conversation, and each quiet moment of understanding reinforced the bond between you. The stolen glances when no one was looking, the way he would subtly take care of you, and the warmth that filled your heart when he was near—it all painted a picture of a love that couldn't be spoken.
In the silence of the night, when you lay awake thinking about him, you allowed yourself to dream of a different life. A life where societal expectations didn't dictate your choices, and you could be free to express your true feelings. But for now, those dreams remained just that—dreams.
You took comfort in the friendship that had become an integral part of your life. It was a bittersweet reality, but one you had come to accept. And in those precious moments you shared, you found a contentment that made the impossible feel almost within reach.
Meanwhile, Mingi found himself growing more hopeful with every step closer to you. Though it hurt to hear you remind everyone that what you shared was merely friendship, he was almost certain you returned his feelings. Yet, he didn’t want to make assumptions; he needed to hear it from you. He was prepared to wait a long time, even forever, as long as you continued to allow him to be near you. This closeness was already more than he had ever hoped for, and a part of him had accepted that this might be the way things were meant to be.
Being friends was better than nothing.
"Yeah, you keep telling yourself that," Junghoon smirked before letting out a whine as his mentor hit him on the back.
"Shut up, kid. What do you know about love anyway? Taking advice from you nearly got me and her in trouble," Mingi grumbled.
The apprentice rolled his eyes, rubbing his back. "Oh, please, don't act like it didn't help you get close to her. I dare you to say you didn’t enjoy having her pressed up against you that day, keeping your mouth shut with her hand, all alone in her room—"
Mingi slapped a hand over the younger man’s mouth, eyes wide and face burning with embarrassment. "If you don't shut your trap right now, I'll tell His Majesty you’d like to quit and join the eunuchs."
That was all it took to silence Junghoon.
Truthfully, the apprentice was right, being close to you had made Mingi greedy for your affections. He often wondered what it would be like to have you willingly run into his arms. But the military strategist knew that was probably as far as he would ever get. Friends were not meant to be any closer than that, and he had come to accept it. If only you would stop making things more difficult.
One day, a soldier was seriously injured during training due to faulty weapons, and the royal medical hall was notified. You appeared at the training grounds with Subin beside you not long after, slightly out of breath as your eyes searched hastily for something or… someone. When you didn’t find who you were looking for, you blurted out, "Where's Officer Song? Is he okay?"
The soldiers greeting you furrowed their brows in confusion. "Officer Song…? Yes, he's fine. It's not him who got injured. Did someone tell you that by mistake?"
You sputtered messily, flustered for giving yourself away, while your childhood friend suppressed her giggle beside you. "O-oh, no... I just... I assumed it was him since he gets injured nearly every week. Never mind that, please take us to the injured soldier."
"Yes, my lady. Come with me."
Quickly, you followed the man, eyes glued to his back, not wanting to catch any knowing glances thrown your way. Unbeknownst to you, Song Mingi was hidden by a stand and had heard everything, struggling to keep the smile off his face at your concern. Were you thinking about him just as much as he thought about you? Were you worried about him? Did you... feel the same?
He desperately wanted to hear it from you but dared not ask the questions, fearing the answers you'd give him—answers that he knew would never reflect your true feelings. He watched you tend to the injured soldier from a distance, the smile lingering on his face, feeling a warmth that hadn’t been there before. Though it stung to always be reminded that what you shared was nothing more than friendship, he clung to the moments when your actions betrayed your words, showing a deeper, unspoken bond.
For now, he would be content with this.
Until he couldn't.
He arrived at the medical hall the next day with lunchboxes in hand, ready to spend time with you as usual. Instead, he was met with the devastating news that you had been dispatched to a plague-ridden village to provide assistance. His heart fell, and his world crumbled.
"I don't understand. What do you mean she's gone, my King? She was just here yesterday."
"Forget her, Officer Song. I told you it's impossible to be with her," said the ruler, rubbing a hand on his temple. "She volunteered to go without hesitation. I think you have your answer loud and clear. And as much I hate to say this, we're not sure she will return from this trip. Most physicians going on such missions are like soldiers going to war; they risk their lives and could be gone for months or even years. You deserve someone who can stay by your side."
The King's words cut deep, but Mingi's mind was a whirlwind of worry and despair. The thought of you in danger, far away, made it hard for him to breathe. The idea of losing you, of not knowing if you were safe or if you would ever come back, was unbearable.
"Where is this village, Your Majesty?"
The elderly man sighed deeply, shaking his head. "What will it take for you to give up? You'll only end up in pain, as if you haven't already been in enough pain. She has denied all your attempts from the start. Why do you do this to yourself, hm?"
Officer Song clenched his fists, his voice trembling with emotion. "Because love isn't about possession. Love is unconditional. I don't care if she will never accept my love in this life; I will continue to be there for her, to protect and care for her as long as I am alive. I'll be damned if I let her face all that danger on her own. So, I'm asking again, Your Majesty, where exactly is this village?"
The desperation in his voice was palpable, the rawness of his love laid bare. He would do anything, go anywhere, to ensure your safety. For the military strategist, there was no greater purpose than being there for you, no matter the cost.
Meanwhile, you struggled to keep yourself together as you arrived at the terror-stricken village. The place had been overtaken by a sudden, rapidly spreading disease, claiming lives at a frightening pace. Violently woken in the middle of the night by Head Physician Seo, you joined the royal physicians gathered in the main hall to hear the grim news. Guri, the very village where you and Subin had lost everything, was now cursed with another wave of illness, intent on wiping out the population and destroying families again.
But you were stronger now.
You would rather die trying than let more innocent villagers endure what you did all those years ago. This time, you were capable of saving lives. Without a second thought, you and your friend volunteered to go. It wasn't until you were in the carriage that you remembered a certain Officer Song. Crestfallen, you realised that perhaps this was all for the best. Maybe, with your absence, he could finally move on and find someone with whom he could have a future, instead of being held back by you.
And you... you would be doing the very thing you had trained for all your life. There was no time to dwell on matters of the heart.
Forget him, lives are at stake.
As you arrived in Guri, the sight was both familiar and heartbreaking. The streets were eerily quiet, with only the occasional sound of distant weeping or the hollow coughs of the afflicted. You, Subin, and the rest of the royal physicians immediately set to work; assessing the situation and organising the sick villagers for treatment.
"Help my mother, please!"
"It hurts, make it stop!"
"I don't want to die yet... I'm scared."
Doing your best to calm the terrified villagers, your mind was a whirlwind of medical procedures and strategies to contain the spread. Every moment was a battle against time, a race to save as many lives as possible. But amidst the chaos, thoughts of Mingi lingered at the edge of your mind. His gummy smile, his stupidly cute laughter, the way his eyes lit up when he saw you—they all haunted you, a bittersweet reminder of what you had left behind.
Sometimes, it felt like those thoughts of him were the only thing keeping you going. Nearly a week had passed, and the situation had only slightly improved. With minimal sleep and just enough food to keep you alive, you worked tirelessly to tend to the sick. All the while, you wished you had a certain tall, handsome, and silly strategist to help lighten the constantly heavy atmosphere. At this point, you had lost count of the times you had imagined him by your side. The imagination could be so vivid, you were convinced you were hallucinating from the immense lack of rest.
"Need a hand, my lady?"
You froze, your actions of reaching for the top shelf of the makeshift clinic for some medicine halted at the familiar voice that had been haunting your well-being for the past week. Shit, were you hearing things now? Surely, it was the sleep deprivation acting up.
It can't be.
But then, you turned around, and there he was. General Officer Song, standing in the doorway, looking just as real and solid as ever. His eyes held a mix of concern and determination, and he was carrying a medical kit of his own.
"Mingi?" you whispered, almost afraid that speaking his name would shatter the illusion.
He stepped closer, a gentle smile on his face. "Yes, it's me. I'm here."
To his surprise, you were angry when you realised it was really him and not just a hallucination. "What… in the world are you doing here?" you questioned, your voice filled with frustration and disbelief.
His smile fell. "I came to help—"
You cut him off. "This isn't a joke, Song Mingi! This is serious. People are dying! You shouldn't be here just because you wish to keep pursuing me or anything stupid!"
His expression hardened with determination. "That's exactly why I'm here—because I can't lose you!"
You were left speechless, grappling with the rush of emotions at his sudden presence as well as his words. You felt conflicted, overwhelmed by the happiness that he was really here in the flesh, anger at his recklessness, fear for his survival, and frustration because you wanted so badly to run to him but knew you could not.
After what felt like an eternity, you sighed and tossed him a handkerchief. "Cover your nose and mouth with this at all times. Since you're here, make yourself useful. Get that bag of herbs and come with me. We have no time to waste."
As he opened his mouth to speak, you shot him a warning glare. "Save your breath. If you do not intend to work, please leave."
With a firm nod, he complied, grabbing the bag of herbs and following you into the chaos. Despite the tension, having him there added a strange sense of comfort and determination, and together, you continued to fight the disease that had plagued Guri.
The entire day passed by in a blur, just like the previous ones. There was not a moment of respite as you rushed around, with Mingi following you obediently, doing as he was told without question. Subin and your other colleagues raised surprised brows at his presence, but the situation left no room for teasing or questions.
At the end of the day, even when things had calmed down a little and most villagers were asleep, your work was far from done. You sat by the bed of a small child who was badly affected by the disease, your tired hands rinsing and wringing a towel repeatedly, wiping the sweat from his tiny head over and over to ensure his fever didn’t worsen. Mingi remained by your side, watching you care for the child.
Sensing your lethargic movements, he gently offered, "Here, let me do it." He reached out for the cloth, and you gave in, handing it to him. He took your spot, and you moved aside to make space for him on the bed, finally having the opportunity to take a good look at him since his arrival.
His face was etched with concern and determination, his usual playful demeanour replaced by a steadfast resolve. He worked with a quiet intensity, carefully tending to the child as if his life depended on it. The sight filled you with a mixture of emotions—gratitude, admiration, and a touch of sorrow.
"You shouldn't have come," you whispered, the weight of the day's events pressing down on you. "But... thank you."
He glanced at you, his eyes softening. "I had to. I couldn’t just stay behind knowing you were here, facing this alone."
You sighed, feeling a lump form in your throat. "I'm sorry for the harsh words I said. I was just... worried about you. I still am."
"And I was worried about you," he replied, his voice firm yet gentle. "We’re in this together now. We'll get through it."
Shaking your head, you squeezed your eyes shut. "It's not going to be easy. You don't understand… this, Mingi. This village was once my home. I was born here, and for the first few years of my life, I had a family. Until a plague, one similar to this one, broke out, taking my parents and siblings, leaving me with nothing," you explained, your voice breaking as you finally revealed your past.
He sat, shell-shocked, learning about your tragic history for the first time. He hadn’t known you had endured such a tough life, and it only strengthened his affection and admiration for you. You were even stronger than he had perceived.
"And that's why I was so afraid of seeing you here," you continued, your voice trembling. "Because I… I can't lose you too."
His breath hitched at your words, a moment of silence enveloping the room before he dared to cover your hand gently with his bigger one, whispering a soft, "Really?"
Embarrassed, you cleared your throat and nodded, avoiding his eyes. "Yes, because you're a good friend to me."
He chuckled, nodding in defeat. "Right, of course." He knew better than to expect anything more by now. He was just glad you no longer pushed him away.
That was all that mattered.
The following days settled into the same gruelling routine, but your shoulders undeniably felt lighter with Mingi's presence. His unwavering support and the arrival of the physicians who had raised you and Subin provided much-needed relief. Their presence brought a sense of comfort and familiarity.
On a slower day, the military strategist sat with one of the senior physicians, assisting with brewing medicine. Catching the tall man's eyes glued to your busy figure in the next room, Kyungsoo, who had been like an older brother to you, smiled and remarked, "Quite the workaholic, isn't she? Nothing can stop her from working. She's been that way for as long as we can all remember."
"She really is," Officer Song replied.
Through your mentors, he learned more about your childhood years. Kyungsoo shared stories of how hard you had worked and studied to get where you were, all to repay them for taking you in. Mingi now saw the depth of your dedication and the sacrifices you had made to become the renowned royal physician you are today.
As he watched you tirelessly care for the villagers, a realisation struck him. It might be selfish to want to tie you down in marriage just because he thought he loved you. If he truly loved you, he should let you do what you loved. You had fought so hard to achieve your dreams; how could he possibly take that away from you?
His heart ached as he finally understood the wisdom in His Majesty's words. Maybe you really were not meant to be, not in this life. Perhaps in the next, he thought to himself, his eyes lingering on you with a mixture of admiration and sorrow.
For now, he would support you in the best way he could—by standing by your side, helping you save lives, and cherishing the moments you shared. Because that, he realised, was also a form of love.
You've won, my King. I yield.
You had somehow felt the distance Mingi seemed to be putting between you, no matter how minuscule. You were hyper-aware of him, always had been, so this change, despite how small and unnoticed by the rest, bothered you more than you cared to admit. Was he growing tired of this? Of you? Perhaps he was realising how impossible it was to reach you and was giving up.
And who could blame him, really?
He deserved to be free; free to love another, to love someone who could give him so much more, all the things you never could.
"Hey, everything okay?" Subin asked, noting how you had nearly disposed of a new bandage instead of a used one.
You snapped out of your thoughts, apologising for the mistake as you rubbed your eyes. "Oh, I'm fine. Just tired, that's all."
She sighed, squeezing your shoulder. "It's Officer Song, isn't it?"
You stilled. "Huh? I-I don't know what you're talking about—"
She rolled her eyes, cutting you off. "Save it, unnie. I'm tired of hiding it from you. He's already received permission from His Majesty to pursue you. That's why he's been so bold in his attempts. If you feel the same way about him, then please, for the love of god, stop putting yourself and him through this nonsense any longer."
Your heart pounded as her words sank in. "Permission from His Majesty?" you echoed, disbelief and confusion in your voice.
She nodded firmly. "Yes, my dear friend. He's been allowed to court you on one condition—only if you willingly agree to it. That’s why he’s here, risking his life. He’s doing it all for you. If you care about him even a fraction of how much he cares about you, you need to let him know. This back-and-forth is tearing both of you apart."
You swallowed hard, grappling with the revelation. It felt as if a door had opened, one you had convinced yourself was forever locked.
"But Subin-ah... what if he realises I'm not worth the effort?" you whispered, voicing your deepest fear.
Her eyes softened. "That's not for you to decide. Let him make his own choices. If he’s here, fighting for you, it means you are worth everything to him. Don’t push him away because of your own insecurities. Give him—give yourself—a chance."
Before you could process her words, chaos erupted as sudden screams filled the air, panicked villagers running in all directions. You rushed outside to see what was happening, your heart pounding in your chest. Amid the commotion, you finally caught on to someone yelling, "Fire! Fire! There's a fire in the kitchen!"
Gasping, you spotted billowing black smoke rising from a hut at the back, where the kitchen was situated. Turning to Subin with wide eyes, you began, "I-isn't that where—"
She nodded before you could finish, confirming your fears. "Officer Song and Kyungsoo oppa were brewing medicine!"
Without a second thought, you sprinted towards the kitchen, your mind racing. The heat and smoke intensified with each step closer. Villagers and fellow physicians frantically attempted to extinguish the flames with buckets of water, but the fire raged on.
"Kyungsoo oppa! Mingi-yah!" you shouted, your voice trembling with fear and urgency.
Amid the thick smoke, Kyungsoo stumbled out alone, coughing violently. You rushed to him, desperation gripping your heart. "O-oppa, where is he? Where's Song Mingi?!"
Pointing towards the kitchen, nearly engulfed in flames, the senior physician gasped, "That fool's still in there. He insists on saving the medicine. We need to get him out, now!"
Your heart pounded with dread. "I'll go!" But Kyungsoo grabbed your arm, panic in his eyes. "No, it's too dangerous—"
Ignoring his warning, you darted inside.
Your heart plummeted when you spotted Mingi foolishly attempting to salvage the pot of medicine. "Stop, you idiot! Leave it!" He froze at the sound of your voice, turning to see you. "What are you doing here? Get out, the place is falling apart!"
Rushing up to him, you desperately tugged on his arm. "Not without you!" Yielding to your urgency, he abandoned the medicine and turned to leave with you. But dread washed over him as he noticed the fragile beam above you, threatening to collapse at any moment. Time seemed to slow as he pushed you towards the exit just in time for the debris to crash down in front of him, trapping him inside.
Your cries echoed as you saw him trapped. "No!" He managed a weak smile, feeling the smoke filling his lungs. "I'm sorry, my lady." Tears streamed down your face as you screamed for help, men rushing to save him. Kyungsoo and Subin restrained you, their grip firm as you thrashed against their hold.
"It's okay, he'll be okay," they repeated, their assurances failing to ease the turmoil in your heart. When they finally emerged, carrying his unconscious body, relief washed over you, but it was quickly replaced by a profound sense of guilt and regret.
God, you were such a fool. How could you have been so blind to his importance in your life? Why did you take him for granted, making him wait for so long?
"Wake up, Song Mingi! Please, listen to me," you pleaded, your voice trembling with emotion. "I remembered everything, okay? I never forgot about you, not for a single moment. I'm sorry for lying, for pushing you away. But I accept it now—I want to be with you. Please... don't leave me."
Amidst your sobs against his chest, you halted as you felt his hand tenderly stroking your head. Lifting your gaze to meet his, you found him smiling weakly down at you.
"Wow, I never thought I'd hear those words," he murmured softly.
"So, that's your secret, huh? Faking your own death to get the girl?" Junghoon quipped, wearing a mischievous grin. Mingi let out an exasperated sigh and playfully smacked the younger man on the back of the head. "Faked my death? I nearly died," he retorted.
Junghoon raised a sceptical brow. "Yes, but did you die though?"
"I swear to god, you rascal—" Mingi's fist hovered in the air threateningly until you appeared, hands on your hips.
"Excuse me, no violence is permitted in the medical hall. If you two want to settle this, take it to the training grounds," you scolded.
The military strategist turned to you with a pout, attempting to play innocent. "But, my angel, I brought you lunch."
You rolled your eyes. "Alright. What's Junghoonie doing here then?"
The apprentice eagerly showed you his sprained ankle. "I actually got hurt, noona. Unlike someone, I don't fake my injuries."
Before Mingi could retaliate, you quickly summoned a colleague to tend to Junghoon, then dragged your idiot away, much to his chagrin. "That's enough, you baby."
"Yes, I'm your baby."
A month had passed since the plague in the village was eradicated. It was after the fire, that you managed to find a quiet moment with Mingi and poured out your heart to him. To your surprise, he didn't immediately respond with joy.
"Are you sure this is what you truly want?" he had asked, his expression serious. "Because I could never ask you to choose me over your career if it's more important to you."
His words struck a chord deep within you, revealing the depth of his love and understanding. He wasn't seeking to possess you but to ensure your happiness, even if it meant letting you go.
In that moment, you realised that this man was worth loving, worth everything. He had waited patiently for years, only to ask you that question when he finally had you.
In response, you didn't need to speak. Your answer was a simple and direct kiss to his lips, conveying all your love, gratitude, and certainty in that one tender moment.
Upon your return from Guri, you promptly sought an audience with His Majesty. There, you expressed your desire to be with Mingi. Needless to say, the soft-hearted King who had been secretly rooting for you both did not take too long to agree.
Granting you the freedom to be courted by the military strategist, the King also bestowed his blessing for marriage, should you both deem it the right path. With a sense of relief, you exchanged grateful glances with your lover. It marked the beginning of a new chapter, brimming with hope and love, as you eagerly anticipated embarking on this journey together.
"I still can't believe you're meant to be the coolest and most renowned military strategist in all of Joseon. If only the people knew what an adorable little princess you could be," you chuckled, playfully feeding Mingi a spoonful of rice as he attempted to fashion you a new handkerchief, boasting about his newfound skills learned from his dressmaker friend.
"Oh wow, is that really how you thank your devoted future husband, who's putting all this effort into making something special for you?" he teased, his eyes sparkling with affection as he reached for another piece of cloth, determined to create something perfect for you.
You snickered mischievously. "Alright, princess, how about this? You handle the cooking and cleaning, and I'll be the queen of the castle, bringing home the gold. Deal?"
He stared at you, unamused. Leaning in, you stole a kiss from his lips, and in that moment, his resistance melted away. "Ugh fine, I suppose that doesn't sound too bad," he admitted with a playful sigh.
Anything for you, my angel.
You couldn't contain your laughter at his surrender, eagerly returning his affection as he leaned in for another kiss.
Sometimes, it's astonishing how, despite years of separation, no matter how distant you've become or how impossible it seemed to reunite, you always find each other again. It's as if your paths were meant to intersect once more, as though guided by the stars.
You were destined to find each other.
Lord, I did not plan for this to be so long. I'm so sorry this part took like a thousand years and I sincerely hope it was decent! I've managed to include all the details I came up with but am somehow not too happy with the delivery (then again, when am I not unsatisfied with my own work lmfao).
More importantly, I cannot believe I now have 2k followers😭 thank you all so much! I cannot wait to finish Jongho and Yeosang's spinoffs and then work on more new stuff!
As always, thank you for reading and let me know your thoughts! <3
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#edenesth#the way to this heart#written in the stars#twthh spinoff#ateez#ateez fanfic#ateez fanfiction#song mingi#ateez mingi#historical au#joseon era#mingi x reader#mingi x you#ateez fic
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JWCT S3 spoilers
so i was tossing and turning all night thinking about how they’re gonna resolve Yasammy — in probably only one season, no less! — and what the actual problem is that they broke up over, because let’s be real: Brooklynn is only a part of what’s bothering Sammy. the most recent part, yes, but not the entirety of it.
at the end of the day, Sammy’s been through so much. her family abandoning her. constant threats from neighbours because of Bumpy’s antics. her best friend dying. and, yes, Yaz pulling away. it’s clear that she’s still not over Yaz moving away to Wyoming and all but cutting contact with her when she needed her most. Sammy’s putting out all these fires and overextending herself, trying to show her “best face” so that people see how wonderful she is and how much she cares for them, but she’s not getting that reception. people are ignoring her, letting her fall to the wayside — at least, that’s how she feels. and Sammy is a very emotional person.
so with Brooklynn coming back and also “rejecting” them, that’s kinda the last straw for Sammy. she gives up on her not because she actually thinks Brooklynn’s fine, but because she’s been here before, when her parents left her, or the many times Yaz didn’t return her calls or responded coldly to her texts. in that way, she’s probably experiencing something very similar to rejection sensitivity dysphoria, and she’s looking externally for validation, looking for people to care about her by putting herself more and more out there and exhausting herself in the process.
(and yeah… i gotta say, this one comes from personal experience.)
so how does this get resolved? how does it get Yasammy back together?
i don’t think it does. not immediately, that is. Sammy’s very prideful. very stubborn, she’s not just going to admit how she’s feeling easily, not without being shown a bit how not addressing these issues is hurting her. therapy really seems like the obvious answer, but would Sammy willingly go to therapy to unpack all of this?
well. she might if she goes to Wyoming with Yaz.
they might not get together immediately, but I can see Yaz making the case that a) it’s not just for dinosaur trauma, b) there are professionals there who helped her so they can help Sammy, and c) there are a BUNCH of people there who she can befriend, which is a huge change from the isolation of her ranch.
plus, given that Sammy has already seen how therapy has helped Yaz and is actually proud of how much better Yaz seems about her issues (and given they were literally together for six years), Sammy might be inclined to trust her on this.
i think this kind of help is ultimately what Sammy needs to be in the right mindset to get back with Yaz, which i think WILL happen (they’re basically the show’s flagship couple at this point lbr), even if it isn’t immediate. maybe they’re island neighbours for a year or so before they finally decide they’re ready to try again. maybe they agree to go as actual girlfriends to Ben and Gia’s Dolomite destination wedding.
either way, it’s clear there’s a lot holding Sammy back right now, and i really think she has to actually address it before she’s ready to be back with Yaz. but Yaz knows that, and Yaz loves Sammy, and i think she’ll happily wait: after all, they were best friends before they were ever girlfriends, and best friends look out for each other.
#jurassic world chaos theory#jwct#jwct season 3#jwct spoilers#jwct season 3 spoilers#yasmina fadoula#sammy gutierrez#yasammy#sammy x yasmina
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First Contact 2
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5.

So it wasn't coming off any time soon. By now you’re no longer panicking, with the shock worn off you’re mostly equally embarrassed and lost. The computer analyzed the creature as best it could without doing physical tests.
The conclusion seemed to be that it was feeding from you. Not leeching your blood or parasitizing your food but uh… drinking your secretions. Conveniently, not so much for you, the human body is apparently a perfect host for this species. For any native lifeforms, it would be a torturous and excruciating death sentence but for your specific biology, an annoyance at most. Actually, considering its venom seems to be nothing but a mild aphrodisiac to humans, a pleasurable annoyance at most.
Since you discovered this odd species you’re calling it “symbiocrita innocua.” Admittedly it only really works from a human point of view but that is what you are working with. The particular symbiocrita innocua attached to you however you’ve started calling Inno. Mostly because it makes the fact it’s prodding around your genitals far less awkward and considering you’re all alone up here the company is… tolerable.
You’ve been keeping a log the past few days but beyond “settling” into its new home Inno hasn't gotten up to much. The bathroom situation was oddly similar to wearing a diaper during space walks but… more uh… personal. Inno did not remotely seem to mind, it's sucking becoming… friendlier? If that was even possible to interpret from something without a face.
Once that brief crisis was resolved you were left with another. It wasn't like you could really make yourself cum. Not that you were seriously enjoying Inno’s attention, that would be weird even for a xenobiologist. But… after a few days of gentle teasing… your body wanted release.
It wasn't the worst, in fact, you weren't even that horny, but the fact you didn't really have the option to just handle it was further frustrating… and… a new experience. Yeah, that was definitely it. Still, despite your professionalism, it was impossible to admit that the constant supply of aphrodisiacs was starting to get the better of you.
Prodding didn’t make Inno react remotely in the way you wanted and you hadn't been blessed with the ability to cum from nipple stimulation alone. Two dead ends, you had yet to come up with a third.
Obviously removing Inno was the top priority. As harmless as its feeding was, potential side effects could not be ignored. Humans and symbiocrita innocua had not evolved side by side, you had seen it before, biology could react unpredictably.
The computer had tried suffocating Inno but in this oxygen-rich environment, it should already be suffocating. Option two was somehow sedating Inno but invasive tests would be required to even begin synthesizing something that would work, you weren't sure your engorged clit being constantly toyed with would survive that. For the same reason anything that would harm Inno wasn't an option either. It was a fucking dilemma and while the computer was busy running calculations and researching options you were still stuck with Innno.
Sleep was becoming increasingly difficult. Focusing in general became increasingly difficult. You didn't even really need Inno off right now, you just needed to somehow communicate your needs. Maybe that was stupid, but after being constantly turned on for days it was easy for priorities to shift.
You took to playing with your nipples more and more, it was better than nothing. Something to absently do to try and drown out the constant throbbing. You were getting no fucking work done, just fucking work. Maybe you were starting to lose it? Just a little.
By day five something else became apparent. Inno was growing.
Not all of Inno, but its tendrils that had once wrapped about your hips to hold on had begun to branch out. A few spindles had begun to inch up your hips and lower back. As if that wasn't worrying enough… they were sticky, like really sticky. Not just this new strange ligament but presumably the whole bottom side of Inno. it might be less that Inno was holding on rather Inno was quite possibly semi-permanently attached to you. Attached to your clit like super glue.
How the fuck had you gotten so unlucky?
The computer urged you not to panic, some good that did. Usually, your main method of stress relief was a few good orgasms, but that wasn't an option. Would you ever be able to cum again? Or would Inno just keep you tormented for the rest of your life?
Or well… Inno just being attached was obviously a problem. The whole situation wasn't ideal, it wasn't just about orgasms. A respectable scientist couldn't wander around with an alien latched onto her cunt.
But it really wouldn’t kill Inno to pick up the pace a little. Fuckkk.
#monster smut#monster kink#monster fudger#monster fucker#transformation#alien smut#alien creature#smut#parasite#sci fi#monster x reader#fem reader#monster x human#exophelia#teratophillia#brainwashing#mind break#ovi kink#egg birth#eldritch tales
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Rude - Oct 16 - @rosekillermicrofic - 703 words - Warnings: none
Evan enjoyed his job. A lot of people would find it off-putting or upsetting, but Evan liked working at the mortuary. He started at the front desk, where he was only permitted to greet clients and take calls. But as he continued to work there, he apprenticed under the mortician and learned all kinds of things that he never thought he would enjoy doing, but he did. The only part he didn’t like about the job was the amount of living people he had to deal with on a daily basis.
He was suppose to be meeting with a man for an arrangement conference for his deceased father. The man was already twenty minutes late for their meeting, and Evan was quickly losing his patience. He much preferred the parts of the job that kept him confined to the back with the bodies, either cleaning them up or performing a cremation. He resolved to give the man ten more minutes before giving up on him ever arriving.
Of course, nine minutes after he had made that resolution, the man strode through the door. He was wearing black jeans with rips through the knees, paired with a long t-shirt featuring some punk band, and a distressed leather jacket. His dark hair looked like he had rolled right out of bed, after a long, long night. Worst of all, the smirk on his face was a mile-wide.
Evan disliked him on sight.
“Helloooo,” the man drawled, sauntering up to the front desk to plop into one of the chairs in front of it. “Are you the Mr. Rosier I’m supposed to meeting with?”
Evan glared at him. “The meeting started 29 minutes ago.”
That only made the man’s grin widen. “My bad. I was celebrating the good news last night.”
Evan arched a brow in response, not entirely interested in whatever that meant, but the man took it as an opportunity to embellish.
“The good news being that dear old dad has finally kicked the bucket, of course,” the man explained. “I’m Barty.”
“I know that,” Evan said, tone clipped. He gestured to the file in front of him. “It was your father’s name too.”
The man, Barty, wrinkled his nose in distaste. “Ah, my father. He always wanted to make me exactly in his image. Too bad it didn’t work out for him.”
That much was clear. Evan had seen a brief glimpse of the body when it came in. Barty Crouch Sr. was a thin, middle-aged man with a mustache, and he’d been wearing a full suit when he died. His son wore jeans with tears in them, and Evan had noticed an earring on one ear. Evan couldn’t imagine they would have gotten along well, if his father wanted his son to turn out like him.
“Why don’t we get started talking about the arrangements for your father?” Evan asked politely. He was ignoring the way he could feel Barty’s eyes roaming over his body.
“Ugh, boring. Why don’t we talk about you, handsome?” Barty clicked his tongue, and Evan looked up to find him smiling winningly. “C’mon, I didn’t expect the funeral director to be so goddamn gorgeous.”
Evan fought against a flush. He would not let Barty know he was getting under Evan’s skin. “I’m a professional. What kind of funeral service were you thinking? We offer burial and cremation.”
“Burn him, for all I care.” Barty waved a careless hand, and despite himself, Evan fought back an amused smile. The man was beyond rude, sure, but he was quite funny, actually.
“Cremation, then,” Evan said, making a note in his file. “We can take a look at urns and other container options later. What sort of personalization—“
“What are you doing after this?” Barty interrupted. He was still smiling that slightly-manic grin.
Evan stared at him for a moment. “Nothing.”
“What time do you get off, handsome?” Barty fluttered his eyelashes dramatically.
“My shift ends at 5, but I hope I’m getting off with you,” Evan shot back. Barty’s eyes widened in shock briefly, before his grin widened into a feral smile, showing every tooth.
“Oh, I like you,” Barty said. “We’re going to get along, you and I.”
#evan x barty#barty crouch jr#evan rosier#rosekiller#marauders#barty crouch x evan rosier#rosekiller microfic#microfic#microfic prompt#maurauders microfic
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So, weird funny kinda sexist story about Batwoman --
Kate Kane was introduced to comics while I was still a little Catholic schoolboy in an all-male school. I had this mental image for years of Kate as some kind of hyper-masc, man-hating frigid bitch as a result of being in that bubble.
Almost all of my friends were into comics. We were reading a lot of Batman because my school library had a stack of Batman TPBs, but nothing Batwoman related. We'd learned about Batwoman on the pre-social media forum-based internet, where a lot of the older men we were talking to fucking DESPISED Kate. They'd characterize her as this homophobic stereotype of a massive Hulk Hogan woman with a simply unfortunate face, absolutely flat chest and a werewolf-hairy body who's motivated by her hate for men and straight people.
This concept excited me so much.
I thought she'd be like...

( Hark! A Vagrant, by Kate Beaton )
It wasn't that I wanted to make fun of that kind of character or anything, but like -- how do I put this?
There just weren't women like that in the fiction available to me at all. The literature we read at school was about men exclusively or only placed women in these very uninteresting supporting roles. The most diverse women in this library were in Shakespeare and that shit was inaccessible as fun reading for me as a little baby man. In nerd shit spaces, most of the fiction I was exposed to was again more or less exclusively about men, like most comics, The Lord of the Rings, Lovecraft style pulp lit, and Dungeons & Dragons-style fantasy. Most of the videogames were either about men or hot stereotypical bi women like Bloodrayne who never made anything one could really read as an abrasive feminist statement. This bizarre stereotype that the New Atheist turned Gamergate world had constructed just didn't exist in media and I was so excited by the concept that one did.
I thought that kind of person being written as a superhero would be inherently interesting. How does she navigate fighting with men, in a world where 90% of villains are men? How does she understand and relate to femme fatale villains like Ivy? Is she ever read as a man by other characters and if so, how does she handle it? What was her deal? She was so interesting. I was too young and stupid to imagine myself agreeing with what I imagined her values to be, but what a fascinating, unique angle, right? What a unique way to explore the idea of someone who is sometimes very correct - most dangerous people superheroes encounter are men, after all - but who's absolutism sometimes drives her to make false assumptions. I'm going to be a real homo here and pretend I thought that making a detective woman blinded by hate for men a clever inversion of that one Sherlock Holmes novel but actually that'd be a lie and I was thinking of a movie adaptation I watched 20 minutes of and pretended to have read in order to seem smart in internet conversations.
Anyway, I say this with no sarcasm, that idea of Fiendish Butch Kate captivated me.
So I read it and she's just like this conventionally pretty, broadly inoffensive and unobjectionable superhero. She's kicked out of the army because she's a lesbian and doesn't even get all that political about it, she kinda takes the L as some kind of private affair to resolve with Batwomanning. She scissors with Maggie and Renee but she never, like, attends Pride or punches a dude out for calling her a slur.
Renee responded to some direct homophobia in Gotham Central - she had a lesbian symbol burned onto her actually in a very unsubtle visual metaphor for being branded in her private and professional lives lol - but that kinda thing just didn't come up in the Batwoman run I read.
She wasn't the giant man-devouring woman that the sexist internet losers told me she was.
And the disappointment hit me like a fucking bulldozer lol.
Anyway I love Kate but sometimes I wonder about the version of her my moron sixteen year old self imagined...
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Hi please ignore this if you aren't taking requests but I have this very specific idea if you could do it:
Sae cheating on Model S/O with their rival model right before a big modeling competition which the now ex S/O wins and to kinda take revenge the now Ex S/O saying to the rival model "say hello to Sae for me"
I know this is super specific and it's up to you if you would like to take this request or not I'm currently looking for a modelling agency IRL
i took some creative liberties with this one. it was heavily inspired by yasmeen khan's 1001 nights. i do not know much about professional modeling, so most of the actual references are obscure. hopefully, this works for you though:

instead of a heart, you were born with a wound, a three-by-five inch gash that allowed the light to pass through.
doubt festers like an aperture, a brief shutter of the lens before your eyes blink away all uncertainty. in the confines of your dressing room, the mirror replaces your face with sloshing light, the silver streams of your reflection dripping down through stained fingers. it's nothing compared to the brightness of your screen, the damning evidence of a murder scene splattered across dry text.
who the hell is she? what do you mean? are you fucking cheating on me sae?
there's a knock on your door. it's alessandro, the stylist. his voice cuts through the silence, reedy and skin-tight. he wants to know why you've walked off mid-shoot, when you'll be back to rejoin the other girls on set. you think twice before you respond to his call, taking a deep breath before you face your interrogation.
there's blood on your gown, right above where your heart used to be. a fist-sized prism flashes within your chest, shot through with the hue of your arteries. crimson for the knife-thin glint in your eyes. poppy for the withered petals of your lips. scarlet for the salt encrusting your mouth. ruby for the iron ore of your tongue. red was always your color.
the photographers line up before you, judgement painted on their faces, both sets of eyes unblinking. tears with mascara make a good cover shoot, but a scornful lover with his other woman make for an even better story. you've long run out of tears to cry, tried your hand in the art of storytelling. the only way you know how to love is to angle your face towards a crowd, to bite your lip until it bleeds. your smile never wavers in its sharpness, every confession clasped tightly between white teeth.
snap, snap: once upon a time, there was a boy who weaved lies. click, click: once upon a time, there was a girl who fell for them. flash, flash: once upon a time, this could have been a love story.
there are harder things to hold than a pose, and your resolve becomes nigh unbreakable. in front of every shattering bulb, you hold strong against the impact force of time. your body is sanctified in the golden light, a yellowed blade across the horizon.
perhaps the next girl would be softer, bleeding flowers into aching mouths. perhaps the next girl would be beautiful.
but for now, you remain cold and hard and bright. you stare directly at the sun. you crush every bud beneath your fingertips, cut your flesh on its thorns. down to its very bone, every wound becomes a scar, every smile becomes a story.
when the shoot wraps up and the other woman steps in, you grin with enough light to cut shadows into her body.
"you're his new girl, right? say hello to sae for me."
#asks#fics#blue lock#bllk drabbles#bllk imagines#bllk x you#bllk x reader#bllk angst#sae itoshi#sae itoshi x reader#sae itoshi x y/n#sae itoshi x you#bllk#blue lock x reader#blue lock x you#blue lock x y/n#blue lock x female reader
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I don't know why, but I have the headcanon that Don was literally the biggest fan of Bald Bull as a child. So, here are some wholesome headcanons for it:
(This is long, sorry about that 😅)
-Just imagine 10 year old Don, alone at home one day and channel surfing and stopping at boxing and deciding to watch out of curiosity. He was instantly hooked when he saw Bald Bull doing one of his rushes and knocking his opponent out, it was the coolest thing ever for him -Back then he didn't really know any english. He only knew that Bull meant Toro, so he would call him that until he was old enough to be a little better at speaking english
-Wasn't watching the match unless Bull was one of the fighters and would get irrationally angry if he lost the fight, would throw actual mini tantrums and scream at the TV until his Dad yelled at him to shut up
-Actually started boxing because Bull inspired him. His family was pretty happy about it, Don had been struggling to find a sport to really get into and they were elated he finally found something he was so passionate about
-His mom was indulging his fixation so much, she even saved up money to go with Don to america to watch the final Match between Doc Louis and Bald Bull for Don's birthday
-Bull lost that match and Don was crushed, but to Don's absolute delight, Bull actually heard him calling out to him again and again and actually approached him. Bull towered over him, but Don wasn't afraid, he was so over the moon, he almost passed out.
-There was a huge language barrier between them, all Bull could really gather from that kid was that he was supposed to be Toro and that he seemed to be a fan. Luckily for Don, he was absolutely adorable and endearing as all hell, so he did not only get an autograph and a picture, but also a permanent spot in Bull's memory
-That incident was also one of the reasons paparazzi began getting much more aggressive with him, not caring that it was a one-time thing for a young fan
-Don framed that autograph and the picture, he even still has them and always takes them with him when he travels somewhere
-Unfortunately he never had the opportunity to watch one of Bull's fights live again, but it strenghtened his resolve to become a professional boxer to maybe one day face him himself
-And well, he was successful, getting into the WVBA at a very young age and once again getting to meet his idol. You cannot believe how giddy he was, he didn't sleep for like 2 days-
-Believe it or not, Bull recognized him almost right away, even if they hadn't seen each other in like a decade. He had watched Don's first fight out of sheer curiosity and the memories came flooding back when he watched Don fight and heard him provoke his opponent with a "Toro!" the first time. Sure, Don‘s voice got deeper, but the way he said it was the exact same. And once he recognized the voice, he also recognized the face -Don was absolutely elated when he found out that Bull remembered their encounter, recalling how it was one of his key motivators to become a professional boxer and even showing him that he still had the picture and autograph.
-Bull had teased him that he still looked like that little kid that got his attention back then (But he's secretly so proud and moved that he was one of the key motivators for Don to start his career. It’s just a special feeling to know you had such an impact on someone’s life)
-Despite them now being on almost the same level, Don is often seen trailing after Bull like a puppy, always looking for guidance and advice or just a small conversation. Bull would be annoyed if it was anyone else, especially with Paparazzi and reporters constantly chasing after him, but there was just something endearing about Don doing it that made him a lot more patient and tolerant towards him.
-And now that they are both a little better at english they can actually have proper conversations (or rather Don yapping at him and Bull responding sometimes)
-Bull became almost a mentor figure for Don, a lot more than his actual coach ever was (who Bull would find out actually sucked real bad, but this is a wholesome hc dump, so maybe I’ll talk about that the next time)
-Don comes to him regularly for guidance or just to talk and they would sit in one of their rooms, share some food and a drink and just talk. Sometimes not even that, they would just sit silently and enjoy the others company.
-They sometimes train together, but not as often as they would like to
-Bull is the hard but fair type, he doesn’t handle Don with kid gloves and can be pretty hard on the guy. But it’s only because he knows how much potential Don has and doesn’t want him to squander it from him turning into an arrogant little shit, he tries to keep him down to earth. (Or at least as down to earth as Don is capable of)
-Don still really likes watching Bull's fights, he never misses a match (unless he is in one, but then he goes over right after and asks Bull how the match went)
-Despite them being friends now and Don having gotten on Bull's good side, he trains hard every day in hopes of being able to face off against him one day, he wants to live up to the legend. (He already does, but Bull doesn't outright tell him that, can't have Don stopping his efforts after all. He kinda hopes Don succeeds one day, but he won’t make it easy for him)
#punch out#don flamenco#bald Bull#punch out headcanons#headcanons#go easy on me it’s been ages since I’ve written headcanons
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The Reveal is Worthless
I entreat the reader to remember the earlier period of the Miraculous fandom, back when Ladybug and Chat Noir were something like actual partners instead of superior and subordinate.
There was something special about their relationship. They were friends who cared for one another, who relied upon one another and trusted each other in a way they could no one else, despite neither knowing the true name of the other. They didn't fully know one another, but their relationship was a one-a-kind friendship based upon a unique experience between them that no one else could relate to.
And of course, there was that ironic romance, the Love Square whose dynamics underpinned the plots of so many of the early season episodes. Marinette loved the boy she thought she knew, and Chat Noir loved the heroine who he fought beside: neither necessarily saw the full value the other had to offer because they were blinded by the idealised image they had of the other's alter-ego.
Thus the reveal and teasing thereof was an enticing prospect: these two closest of friends and allies could finally merge their lives together without professional boundaries. Adrien could get to know the clumsy girl who wasn't a perfect heroine and Marinette would finally be able to actually know who Adrien was, as opposed to being infatuated with his model image.
A true basis for a true relationship.
And something they could never have so long as their mission continued. For until then, Ladybug and Chat Noir could only be partners and friends, but their responsibilities would always have a barrier between them.
What a shame how this premise has been so utterly devalued.
-
There are three aspects to consider here:
1: Romance
2: True understanding/personal development
3: Exclusivity/Trust
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Romance
The first is the simplest and quickest to cover.
The nature of the Love Square was an ironic circle of attraction, Marinette loved Adrien, but Adrien loved Ladybug- so they were in effect rejecting each other to chase after one another. The only seeming solution was for the identities to be revealed and thus allow the two to actually bond fully and resolve the entire mess by getting together knowing full well that their attraction was reciprocated.
That was not what happened.
Instead, the show decided that Adrichat would finally move on from Ladybug and onto Marinette. And after a bit of back and forth, the Love Square was resolved by having the two unknowingly date their co-workers while Ladynoir cooled to platonic.
This was certainly a choice.
It also rendered any reveal entirely moot in regards to romance. Adrienette is canon, what does them finding out they're co-workers achieve?
-
True understanding/personal development
The core of the Love Square was that neither Marinette or Adrien could see the other's alter-egos within them. Or at least, Marinette outright found it laughable that Chat Noir could be Adrien.
Adrien meanwhile outright called Marinette the "everyday Ladybug" and was unsurprised to put the pieces together himself in Chat Blanc.
But the point of the matter is: in theory the secret identities are barriers to a full bond between the two (alleged) protagonists. That by overcoming them, they could fully "be themselves" with another person.
A Marinette with full confidence and self-assurance, but who also didn't need to be the heroine and could be sad and share her burdens. An Adrien who was allowed to be expressive, silly or imperfect himself without being reprimanded.
This is not what happened.
At least not for Adrien.
Marinette has achieved that goal, with Alya. She has a friend who cares for her with whom she can be completely honest with and who she can share her emotional burdens. Chat Noir meanwhile has steadily learnt to restrain himself as Chat Noir and if anything, grown more compliant and less self-deterministic as Adrien.
Moreover the two have gone from partners, to superior and subordinate. A strict hierarchy where all power, information and authority exists in the hands of one person, and the other person has none whatsoever beyond leaving the ring behind. And it has to be said: Ladybug does not have some special fondness or trust in Chat Noir that would enhance their relationship as Marinette and Adrien.
Nor is there any exceptional trust that Marinette has in Adrien that would enhance their relationship as Ladybug and Chat Noir, indeed the opposite might be true, given just how much she is hiding from him already despite it being critical to his very existence (eg: the whole Sentimonster business). Most likely any reveal between the two at this point would just introduce that power dynamic and secrecy into their personal lives, and likely extinguish what independence Adrichat still possesses.
Because all the reveal would do now is give Marinette even more leverage over Adrien as his superior. Marinette would continue to hide her full self from Adrien, and Adrien having already learnt to ignore and suppress his own feelings for Ladybug's sake would do so constantly for Marinette (if he didn't already, I see precious little of Chat Noir in the Adrien of S5 compared to S1).
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Exclusivity/Trust
The third is the most extensive to cover, the most important secret either Adrichat or Maribug have are their identities. Thus either letting another know it willingly is (supposedly) the highest sign of trust. The less people who know that secret, the more valuable the act of the reveal is as it creates an incredible vulnerability that did not exist before and proves that the revealer trusts the revealee more than almost anyone else.
It was seemingly inevitable that if Marinette were to willingly reveal to anyone, she'd first choose Chat Noir. He was the one who she supposedly had that unique bond with, and vice versa. It was even a fandom staple back if you search back far enough.
Now of course, that staple is more dated than The Dab.
Marinette's identity now seemingly free space for anyone but Chat Noir. She first willingly spilled the beans to Alya, despite Alya having been Akumatised multiple times before over what are relatively minor affairs (I sure hope she doesn't get caught canoodling with Nino again!) and her being a known target for Shadowmoth thanks to her own identity being known to him. From there on, through either her own choice, accident or observation Ladybug's identity has spread to at least half a dozen other people including Gabriel Agreste and possibly Lila.
But not Chat Noir.
This is important, because that bar of trust and exclusivity has been continuously lowered, to the point where Marinette seemingly has no problem with Felix "Genocide" Fathom being the in the club of people who know her on both sides of the mask- even if he and Kagami have no business doing so. But her supposed partner? He's not even considered.
There are some arguments as to why... but they don't stand up scrutiny:
"It's because of Chat Blanc! Marinette is traumatised over Chat Noir knowing her name!"
That would make sense, alas: it's also fandom staple. Not part of canon itself.
References to Chat Blanc are few and far between, and Maribug has had precisely one sign of any possible trauma from the event and it was as part of a nightmare induced by revealing her identity to Alya. There's nothing in the show that demonstrates that she has any lasting harm from Chat Blanc, or that it's the cause of her actions.
"Chat has the Black Cat Miraculous, they can't know each other's identity because their Miraculous have to stay safe!"
This would be reasonable.
Up until the moment Marinette spilled the beans to Alya. At that point her security had been breached so severely that there is no longer any value in maintaining her secret from Chat Noir. You cannot say the multi-time Akuma victim who Hawkmoth knows was a Miraculous wielder is a better secret-keeper than Chat Noir, even if she broke from Akumatization from a few hours ago: she also got Akumatized a few hours ago.
The only valid part of this argument is that Chat Noir maintaining his secret to Marinette would still be required.
"Chat Noir gets mind controlled every Tuesday, his mind will be an open book!"
No. No it will not.
It's true that Chat Noir is mind-control themed. However- unless I've missed an incident- for all those many times he's been brought under someone else's power he's never given up his Miraculous or identity barring direct use of his Amok. Unless Ladybug has somehow discovered Adrichat's identity, there's no reason to expect that he'll spill the beans- and certainly no more than Alya.
Then there's the final nail in the coffin:
As of "Ephemeral": we know perfectly well that if Marinette knows Chat Noir is Adrien, she'll quickly decide to throw caution to the wind anyway. So by evidence alone, it's not a matter of security or trauma, it's a matter of favoritism.
By evidence: Chat Noir is not one of those favourites. Forget the actualization of a special bond, he's less trustworthy than Felix.
-
What is the value of the reveal at this point?
Adrien and Marinette are together. The barriers are gone, but there's no special exclusivity to this shared experience anymore: there's an entire team of others after all and Rena's the one Ladybug shares her feelings and secrets with while Chat Noir barely knows anything. The "Ladynoir partnership" has cooled to a platonic working relationship where all the trust and authority goes one way, so there's not exactly some great romantic addition to be made to the Adrienette relationship.
Exactly what difference does it make to their relationship if they know each other's identity? What would actually change beyond them not having to make awkward excuses about where they're hiding for any given Akuma battle?
Because unless there's going to be some kind of Ladynoir conflict in the next season to provide a new, negative potential impact to the reveal:
The once brimming potential of The Reveal has been completely wasted.
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Reginald Crane | Burned Ties AU
Tag list: @warden-draws-sometimes @wyvchard @sleepywillowo0o @pandagobrr @ghostlystarwanderer if I missed anyone pls lemme know I am Very warm-brained from my walk
There is a chance to affect the AU below the cut, so do give a read!
Reginald heard the clatter of chains and removed his headset from his ears before he broke. He decided to mentally rewind everything- perhaps it would make any of this easier to digest once running it through again.
He knew from the start that something about these missions had been setting his Agent on edge lately; it was obvious from the fidgeting and the click of a lighter when he thought Reginald wasn't listening.
He just didn't think it would be this.
He saw the initial reaction his Agent had when confronting the latest of Zoraxis’ head lackeys. Visceral. As if he'd been shot. Hell, Reginald remembered winding back the feed just to see if he had been. For the Agent to lose cool like that on a mission… he hadn't seen anything like it since Phoenix's rookie years.
And then the fight happened.
It started verbally, mind, though Reginald initially could make no sense of what was being said. (Spanish was never his strongest language.) But the verbal barrage eventually gave way to fists and knives, bionic arms and TK. A usual sight in the field, save for two details.
One. Phoenix was holding back. That was the first major tip off for him that something wasn't right here. Phoenix, as a rule, never holds back against knocking out his opponent, lest they kill him. But he held back against this woman, who if he heard right, went by Mechanique.
Two. The other tip off was when he hesitated dealing the final blow, which ended up giving Mechanique enough time to trigger the cage. By that point he was concerned his agent was more than compromised- fear had gripped him as though death himself had taken hold of his soul.
But then it all clicked when Phoenix had started pleading with her. Calling her by name. Using a word he actually recognized.
Oriae. Hermana. Sister.
That enemy was his Agent's sister.
Crane found himself feeling a multitude of emotions; disbelief, anger, sadness, but most of all, determination. Phoenix had admittedly sat through and even sometimes aided in resolving a lot of his messy, less than professional relationships.
It was only fair he returned the favor.
With that in mind, he reached for the phone and made a call. Speaking of favors, he had one or two to call in.
Operation: Burned Ties would need them.
(Poll time! You can directly affect my AU by selecting an answer. Maybe reblog so I can get a lot of feedback? 👉👈🥺)
#ieytd#ieytd fandom#Burned Ties AU#poll#reginald crane#bluenix lore#agent phoenix#operative mechanique#oriae stronghart
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Leave Your Mark ⭑˚🧪⭑ 𝑏𝑎𝑐𝑘𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑏𝑏𝑖𝑛𝑔
bnha x f!reader
reverse harem, isekai, my hero academia x fem!reader, slowburn

You didn’t accomplish anything in your previous life. Looking back on it, you feel nothing but regret, and you yearn for the chance to do things differently. As it turns out, your wish is answered, and you are reborn into your favorite fictional world. This time, you resolve to make a change, and you have the means to do it. You won’t be content with just sitting on the sidelines and letting life pass you by. You will live boldly and vibrantly, as if every moment is your last. No matter what it takes, you are going to leave your mark.
previous | story masterlist | next
Several years have passed, and much to your immense relief, Chisaki hasn’t done anything that warrants being called a villain.
You’re ten, and he’s now seventeen. Unfortunately, it seems like his mysophobia is here to stay. You’ve tried to get him to see reason more times than you can even count, but without professional help or the willingness to stop being so goddamn stubborn, this isn’t something that will just magically disappear.
But it’s okay. Having a phobia doesn’t necessarily mean he’ll go on to do bad things. There are plenty of people living with phobias in this world, and even though you feel sorry that they have to suffer, they still find ways to cope and move forward with their lives. There’s no reason the same can’t hold true for Chisaki. He’s got a convoluted way of thinking, that much is an indisputable fact, but he can still be a decent, law-abiding citizen.
Nothing else has really changed. Chisaki refuses to remove his mask—as well as his gloves, which he started wearing a while ago—unless he’s around either you or Pops. He’s just about as moody and condescending as always, but you’ve made peace with the fact that it’s simply his crappy personality at work.
You don’t have any overly idealistic expectations for him. It’s not like he has to be an angel.
He just has to not be a total psychopath.
Anyways, other than the fact that his phobia remains uncured, everything’s been fine for the most part. In canon, you recall that he used to go around picking fights with people if they ever disrespected the Shie Hassaikai, but so far, that hasn’t happened. Perhaps it’s because you’re such a strong advocate for resolving things without resorting to violence. It may be that he’s making an effort to control himself on your behalf.
Whatever the case, he has yet to do anything truly fucked up, and you can only hope that it stays that way.
Besides, you’ve got other things to focus on right now. Namely, the fact that Eri’s mom just showed up with a visibly pregnant belly.
“Big Sis!” you cry out excitedly, wasting no time before rushing towards her. True to her word, she’s made an effort these past few years to be more involved in your life, and you feel confident about the fact that you’ve cultivated a decent relationship with her.
She giggles when you latch onto her and start nuzzling your face against her round stomach. “Hello, [Name]. You’re as cute as ever, I see. Based on how you’ve been growing up, I get the feeling that you’ll be a heartbreaker when you get into your teens.”
“I am pretty gorgeous,” you reply smugly, flipping your hair for added effect.
“And I see your ego’s been growing as well,” she laughs. “It’s nice and healthy, just like your older brother’s. Actually... maybe that’s a bit of a stretch.”
“No one’s ego is as big as Kai’s,” you agree with a sigh. “Even this one blonde dude I’m thinking of is no match for him.”
“Blonde dude?”
“Um... it’s nothing. Don't worry about it.” You gently press a palm against her belly, waiting to see if you’ll feel a little kick. Nothing happens, but it’s amazing to know that you’ve technically met Eri before she’s even been born.
When this sweet, innocent girl comes into the world... you desperately hope that nothing but happiness awaits her. You’ll do anything in your power to make sure that’s the case.
“Do you know the baby’s gender yet?” you ask, feigning ignorance.
“We actually just had an ultrasound the other day,” she replies happily. “I’ve got a baby girl growing inside of me. We've been trying to come up with some names too, but I wanted to run a few of them by you.”
“Of course,” you beam. “I’d love to help name the baby.”
“Well, what do you think of Hana?”
“It’s alright, but I’m not really feeling it.”
“What about Akane?”
“Same as before, it’s just kind of alright.”
“Hikari?”
“I don’t know. Not exactly a home run.”
She pauses for a moment, then parts her lips one last time. “Okay, then... how about Eri? I’ve been holding onto that name for a long time. My husband seems to like it too. As of now, it’s probably our number one choice.”
Almost immediately, you’re grinning from ear-to-ear.
“Eri sounds perfect. That one’s definitely a keeper.”
“I was really hoping you’d say that,” she hums, rubbing her belly. “I guess I’ve made up my mind, then. Baby Eri. I can’t believe that in just a few months, I’ll have a child of my own. It feels like it’s all happening so fast.”
You stare at her intently, and even though your expression doesn’t show it, there’s a tightness in your chest that makes it feel like your heart might explode.
“Please take good care of Eri,” you say, eyes clear and solemn. “She’s going to be your little girl, and I’m sure you’ll love her very much, so... stick with her, no matter what happens. Can you promise me you’ll do that?”
She tilts her head at you, visibly confused. “Well... of course I will. What a silly thing to say. Why wouldn’t I look after my own child? Your big sister isn’t quite as unreliable as you seem to think she is.”
It’s obvious that she thinks you’re just saying random, nonsensical things, and she even pinches your cheek and chuckles. You can tell that she hasn’t really taken your words to heart. After all, why would she ever assume that she’s going to abandon her daughter?
But it’s precisely because you know that she already has abandoned her daughter that you’re so worried. If only she’d taken better care of Eri. If only she’d made sure to always watch over her and keep her as far away from Chisaki as possible.
You suppose there’s no point in dwelling on a different timeline, one where you don’t even exist. So long as things go better in this reality, that’s what really matters.
“I can already tell that Eri’s going to be super pretty, just like you,” you smile.
“Aw. Aren’t you such a darling?” She pokes the tip of your nose and pulls you into a quick embrace. “Since we’re technically siblings, once Eri is born, that means you’ll be an aunt. Auntie [Name], just a little kid herself. It’s quite funny to picture it.”
“I’ll be the best aunt ever,” you proudly declare.
“I’m sure you will. Honestly, I can’t help but worry that Eri might end up liking you more than me.”
“Sorry,” you shrug. “It’s not my fault I’m amazing.”
Eri’s mom laughs, and she squeezes you close one last time before pulling away, using a hand to support her belly.
“Well, it was very nice seeing you, [Name],” she says. “I promised my father I’d go say hi to him too. Things are getting quite hectic, so I’m not sure how often I’ll be able to visit during the pregnancy, but I promise to send word as soon as Eri is born.”
You nod happily. It’s good that she seems so excited. Surely, that bodes well for the future. If she truly loves her child, then nothing will scare her away, even once Eri’s Quirk manifests. You wonder if there’s also a way to prevent the death of Eri’s father, but given that you have no clue when her powers will appear, it seems fairly impossible.
Still. Whether or not Eri’s father remains in the picture, you hope that in this life, at least one of her parents will be there to look after her.
“This is Kurono,” Pops announces. “He’s around your age, Chisaki, and starting today, he will be joining the Shie Hassaikai.”
Ah. There he is. You were actually wondering when Chisaki’s devoted right-hand man would make his appearance. It’s kind of funny, though. In the canon series, you recall Kurono being loyal to a fault, willing to do anything so long as it would further Chisaki’s ideals. Calling him a fanboy isn’t even that big of an exaggeration. When it comes to Chisaki, this guy is whipped.
That’s what makes this whole thing so ironic. The way that Chisaki is glaring at him as if he just spotted a steaming turd.
“Kai, play nice,” you laugh, then you turn towards Kurono with a smile. “Sorry. You’ll have to forgive my socially inept older brother. He doesn’t get out much.”
Instead of responding verbally, Kurono just lifts a brow. Meanwhile, Chisaki appears to be mashing his teeth in frustration. It’s easy to tell, even with the mask he’s wearing.
“I am not socially inept,” he mutters. “I just don’t like people.”
“Tomato, potato,” you shrug. “All I know is that whenever someone comes out of a conversation with you, they’re not smiling.”
Chisaki balls his gloved hand into a fist, makes a big show of shaking it at you, and the whole time, Kurono stands by and watches with an incredulous expression.
“Um, this is a yakuza group, isn’t it?” he frowns.
Pops belly-laughs. “Yes, yes. But you’ll find that our organization is quite respectable. Although [Name] and Chisaki certainly do a good job of brightening it up even more.” He pauses for a few moments, then narrows his eyes. “Well... mostly [Name], if I’m being honest.”
“Pops,” Chisaki gasps. “Not you too!”
Now it’s your turn to laugh, and you practically jump onto Chisaki, reveling in the warmth of his embrace. Now that he’s nearly an adult, the difference in height between the two of you is downright staggering. He looks identical to how he appeared in the anime and manga. But because the past few years have gone off without a hitch (minus his pesky phobia), you are still able to find comfort in his arms.
“Don’t worry,” you grin. “We like to tease every now and then, but we love you lots, Kai. And I love you the most out of anyone!”
To emphasize your statement, you push up on the balls of your feet, tug Chisaki’s sleeve to pull him closer, then plant a sloppy, exaggerated kiss on his cheek.
Unsurprisingly, he recoils, and you’re worried that you might have upset him. He’s comfortable enough around you and Pops for hugs and that kind of stuff, but you fear that a kiss may be crossing the line.
You look up at him with a guilty expression. “Um, I’m sorry. Maybe I should have thought that through a bit more...”
You wouldn’t blame him if he got mad at you right now. He can’t help the way his phobia works, and it’s highly likely that you’ve pushed him too far.
But much to your surprise, instead of looking disgusted or snapping at you, he just stands perfectly still and blinks.
Are you imagining things right now, or did his face just turn red?
“Oh my,” Pops chuckles. “Are you blushing, Chisaki?”
“D-Don’t be ridiculous,” Chisaki dismisses, but for all his self-assuredness and usual composure, he’s doing a very poor job of being convincing.
Chisaki Kai just blushed and stuttered. Did I bump my head earlier or something? Am I actually trapped in a long-ass dream?
You pinch your cheek, and sure enough, it hurts. Not to mention the fact that you’ve already been reincarnated into a fictional world. Perhaps you should suspend your disbelief, because clearly, all kinds of crazy shit can happen around here.
Pops folds his hands into the sleeves of his kimono and smiles warmly. “As you can see, we are a very tight-knit household. By joining the Shie Hassaikai, you can consider yourself an extended family of sorts. So long as you act in a way befitting our values, we will always make sure that you’re taken care of.”
Kurono glances back over at you. Chisaki is still blushing, and being the little rascal that you are, you refuse to stop teasing him about it.
“I see,” Kurono says. You don’t notice it because you’re too busy annoying the crap out of Chisaki, but for just a moment, Kurono smiles as well. “Thank you for having me. I think... I’ll really enjoy my time here.”
And he does. Well, you think he does, at least. Just like Chisaki, he’s not exactly the most expressive of the bunch, but you still have a pretty good sense of whether or not he’s happy.
You expected as much based on how things turned out in canon, but Kurono quickly becomes attached to Chisaki, and makes it his mission to help him out as much as possible.
“I made sure to buy the extra-soft toilet paper that you like,” Kurono says, bowing his head as he extends the toilet paper out like some sort of offering.
Chisaki gives him a deadpan stare, and it takes all your strength not to laugh your ass off.
Kurono’s attempts to win Chisaki over don’t stop there, though. You can tell that he’s making a conscious effort to discern what Chisaki likes and dislikes. And, well... since your older brother is a picky son-of-a-bitch, the list of his dislikes goes on and on.
“Absolutely disgusting,” Chisaki grimaces, pointing to an unwashed plate that someone left out earlier. Someone who will remain unnamed. It definitely wasn’t you, though. No. Definitely not.
Kurono nods fervently, and you imagine him writing a mental note to himself that Chisaki can’t stand the sight of dirty dishes.
“That’s disgusting too,” Chisaki says. “And so is that one over there. Ugh.”
To be honest, you’re not even really paying attention anymore. You’ve listened to Chisaki rant about things more times than you can count. Since you’ve lived with him for roughly eight years now, you feel like you’ve done your due diligence. It’s Kurono’s turn to suffer through Chisaki’s tireless droning, and luckily, he seems perfectly happy to do it.
“Understood,” Kurono nods again, focusing so intently it’s a miracle steam hasn’t come out of his ears. “Don’t worry, Kai. I’ll make sure to clean up around here and keep everything tidy, just the way you like it.”
Alright, alright, we get it. You’re in love with him. Try dialing it back a notch, buddy.
“Please don’t expose me to anything inappropriate,” you hum. “I’m still only ten years old. I don’t want to grow up with trauma.”
Chisaki and Kurono both stare at you in confusion. The joke has clearly gone way over their heads, which honestly makes it a million times funnier.
Anyways, long story short, Kurono takes his position in the Shie Hassaikai remarkably seriously, and since Chisaki is the same age as him, you can tell that he’s hoping to form some sort of kinship. The poor bastard hasn’t yet realized that Chisaki is about as friendly as a bear who’s just come out of hibernation, but hey, he’s welcome to keep trying.
For a few good weeks, there’s nothing much to report. Kurono sticks to Chisaki’s side like glue, even when Chisaki snaps at him and tells him to piss off. You actually admire Kurono’s diligence, and their interactions are usually quite funny to watch, too.
Still. Kurono’s progress is marginal at best, and Chisaki is nowhere near ready to accept him.
Then, one day, an opportunity lands in Kurono’s lap.
You’re having a good time. Since you’re still only ten years old, and your mind is several years more advanced, you can afford to slack off when it comes to studying. This means that you have a lot of free time on your hands—time which you devote almost entirely towards honing your Quirk.
You’re pleased to report that you’ve gotten better with it. Using it to perform telekinesis still isn’t easy, but there’s definitely a considerable improvement from how you were a few years ago. The crappy part is that you have to hide your Quirk training sessions from Chisaki, because he usually makes a big stink about it. Nothing exhausts you more than being nagged by him for inordinate periods of time.
So, you train in secret. It allows you to focus more clearly, and you like having the space to properly reflect on your mistakes.
Everything is going well. Really well, as a matter of fact. Perhaps that’s why you get so excited. You just can’t help yourself. Living in this world and getting to meet all these characters, and also having big dreams and aspirations for the future... it’s kind of impossible not to get carried away.
“I’m kick-ass!” you cry out in a fit of glee. Today’s training session went so much better than you expected, and before you can take a breath to collect yourself, a few fateful words leave your lips. “I might seriously become a hero at this rate!”
You collapse to the ground, exhausted, but immeasurably happy.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t last.
“...you’re going to become a what?”
Just like that, your mood plummets faster than you can even blink. You turn around, barely stifling a gasp, and your eyes land on a young man standing by the doorway, who has clearly just overheard everything.
It’s not Chisaki, and for that, you thank your lucky stars. Still, you didn’t intend for anyone to find out about this, and based on the way Kurono is glaring at you, he clearly isn’t happy with what he’s just discovered.
You press your lips together, trying not to show how fazed you are. Dammit, dammit, dammit! What is he doing over here?! You specifically chose this location because he and Chisaki were on the opposite end of the building, and they seemed occupied enough for you to sneak in a quick training session. You were convinced that he would be glued to Chisaki for the rest of the evening, just like he usually is.
“Hi, Kurono,” you reply weakly, straining a smile. “What’s up?”
“Don’t play dumb with me,” he snaps.
Ugh. Just like Chisaki, it’s impossible to calm him down once he’s riled up about something. Still, you most certainly can play dumb, and that’s precisely what you intend to do.
“Huh? Oh.” You chuckle sheepishly and scratch your cheek. “I guess I got a little excited there, didn’t I? Sorry. I was happy that my Quirk was cooperating for a change, but I definitely didn’t need to yell out that I’m kick-ass or whatever...”
“That’s not the only thing you said,” Kurono glares. “I heard you. I heard you say that you’re planning on becoming a hero.”
You tilt your head to the side and pretend to look confused. “What are you talking about? I know I was acting kind of cringy, but that’s taking it too far.”
“You said, and I quote, that you might seriously become a hero at this rate. I know what I heard.”
“Um... no, I didn’t. I think you might need to get your ears checked. Seriously, is everything okay?”
“I know what I heard,” Kurono insists, and he steps closer to you, narrowing his eyes until they’re scarcely more than slits. “I’m not an idiot, so you’d better come clean while you still can.”
Oh my god, just shut up and let me gaslight you, for fuck’s sake!
“Kurono, you’re acting weird,” you frown, fully intent on sticking to your story until the very end.
“Ha.” The chuckle that leaves his lips is humorless at best, and for a few moments, he just stares at you, as if he’s pondering his next course of action.
Suddenly, his eyes widen.
“Kai won’t like this,” he mumbles. “Kai won’t like it one bit. But... I’ll be the one to tell him. I’ll be the one to nip this problem in the bud. And he’ll thank me for it. He’ll thank me for bringing such a serious issue to his attention.”
Your heart drops into your stomach, and as much as you try to play it off and act cool, on the inside, you are freaking the fuck out.
“You’re just making things up,” you say, voice trembling slightly. “Why are you lying and trying to create conflict for no reason? It’s pointless, anyways. Kai won’t believe you. I’m his little sister, and he’ll take my word over yours any day.”
Some strange emotion glints in Kurono’s eyes. You can’t tell if it’s cruelty, amusement, or a twisted combination of the two.
Either way, it doesn’t matter. He’s already made up his mind.
“Whether Kai believes me or not... let’s find out for ourselves, shall we?”
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🧪 main masterlist ♡ oneshot masterlist
#bnha#bnha x reader#bakugou x reader#shouto x reader#mha x reader#mha#my hero academia#my hero academia x reader#my hero academia fanfic#izuku x reader#denki x reader#kirishima x reader#shinsou x reader#hitoshi x reader#bnha fic#shigaraki x reader#overhaul x reader#dadzawa#amajiki x reader#dabi x reader#touya x reader#reverse harem#reverse harem x reader#bnha fic rec#fic rec#leave your mark#various x reader#shoto x reader#kaminari x reader
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Explaining my Stardew Valley spouse candidate tier list bc I don't know anyone who likes SDV in person
Emily, F Tier - Manic pixie dream girl in a bad way. She frightens me.
Penny, D Tier - I wish Penny would become more confident and explore her interest in education after marrying her. Maybe she could take classes to become the teacher of Pelican Town instead of taking up the housewife role.
Harvey, D Tier - His story line is very uninteresting imo, he doesn't really grow as a person. I wish there was a heart event where he could become more comfortable with standing his ground.
Sebastian, C Tier - I know this is controversial, but I don't like Seb that much. He seems very distant, even after being married to him. I also wish his disdain for Maru was resolved at some point, and he could maybe even help Maru distance herself from Demetrius's helicopter parenting.
Maru, C Tier - WE LOVE A WOMAN IN STEM!!! I wish she was a bit more socially awkward bc I feel her personality is lacking, especially when her character growth could be really fun seeing her finally fly from the nest from Demetrius. Also, I wish she could make up with Seb, they clearly love eachother, and I'd really like a story line where maybe they start hanging out again slowly over a year after Maru gets the freedom she deserves with Farmer.
Leah, C Tier - English is not my native language so I had a very hard time trying to read her name. Also, I find her a bit boring. I love her storyline of becoming a professional artist, I just wish there was a bit more complexity to her.
Elliot, C Tier - I love his personality, I just wish there was more for him to overcome. It feels like once he finishes his book (which can very easily happen before you marry him) he should struggle coming up with a new novel instead of just going on book tours.
Shane, B Tier - The fact that a lot of his progress is lost right after getting married pisses me off so much oml. That's all.
Haley, B Tier - I love her, but the fact that she starts out like, actually mean in the beginning makes me sad, I'm not a fan of bully and victem to lovers so yeah. Alex is mean in a kind of teasing way, but she just literally calls you ugly.
(With A Tier, Abby and Sam were supposed to be switched)
Abigail, A Tier - Love her, she has a very good personality and I feel like her way of escaping Pierre and Caroline's parenting is what Maru could have been. The only reason she isn't in S Tier is because I feel bad after marrying her because she wants to leave and explore the world, but now she is stuck in Pelican town.
Sam, A Tier - My son. Literally my baby. I LOOVE that he becomes more responsible over time during marriage and he wants to help Farmer out. Just a sweet little babby.
Alex, S Tier - HOOOLLLY CRAAPPP!!! LOVE OF MY LIFE, CLOSETED KING, BEST BOY HIMBO, BICON!! Alex is one of the most underrated marriage candidates. He has THE best written story, whether you're the male or female farmer. As the male farmer, his story with you can be interpreted as a closeted bi or gay man discovering his sexuality, and as the female farmer, his story with you can be interpreted as a young man becoming secure in himself after losing his mother and dealing with the abuse of his father. He has the best story line and character development.
I love my hot stupid wife who is a buff young man.
#stardew valley#tier list#stardew bachelors#stardew bachelorettes#stardew abigail#stardew alex#alex mullner#stardew elliott#stardew emily#stardew haley#stardew harvey#stardew maru#stardew penny#stardew sam#stardew sebastian#stardew shane#concerned ape
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I did a bit of de novo genome assembly way, way back in the day which I have never been able to use professionally because my PI refused to spend $2000 more on getting new read depth. He had ordered the reads before actually learning anything about the pipeline and only about half of the libraries he had ordered were usable in any given pipeline, see. (Some had been for older assembly methods and others had been for newer ones, basically.)
Rather than find the money to fucking get me the reads to do it right, he heard about an open source project called RACA that was some dude's dissertation arguing that you COULD use some of the worthless libraries to fill in the gaps of the assembly and get a functional genome out of it. I spent two years trying to move massive quantities of data through that fuckhead's pipeline on the campus supercomputer to get the assembled genome out, and then I got to the end and found there was no output as fastq files or ant other format recognizable to me.
(Give me a break, I was 23 and had also been frantically learning acoustic analysis, basic electrical engineering, and technical equipment maintenance in the two years since I had started learning to code. Plus I was figuring out what I wanted my dissertation to be. I'd never grappled with anything more complicated than our home-written library of matlab acoustic analysis before, and it simply hadn't occurred to me that anyone would publish a non-functional pipeline to achieve a goal quickly anyone verifying that anyone else had done anything yet.)
Anyway, eventually he collaborated with someone else who ponied up $2000 and a postdoc to get new reads. My name was not on the paper, so that's two years of my life developing a particular and fairly unique skill set that I will almost certainly never use.
In retrospect it's less surprising than you might think that the PhD took eight years and absolutely shattered my confidence.
And the best part is that it was just about impossible to predict at the time that shit would go quite this bad, except that some people handle power well when they're stressed and some people maintain a strong layer of cognitive dissonance over their knowledge of power such that it's never real enough to be responsible about but always real enough to win a dispute.
Anyway I think every student should have two advisors so that everyone in the department should have to immediately know about it when a PI is floundering and have a strong direct incentive to do something about it. A LOT of my problems could have been fixed with one look with a gimlet eye from a senior, more experienced researcher being not impressed at a student under their supervision running on an endless treadmill to nothing. Frankly a lot of my problems could have been solved if my mentor had formal training or literally any supervision that could deliver metrics faster than "how close am I to my previous mentees?"
I know a lot of dual advised students wind up in a tug of war between two advisors, but like: that's the point. If one of them turns out to be insane and malicious then a) the students all have clear lines to bail, b) the other ones all realize quickly that bailing out the chaos and career damage of someone who is fucking it up is way more work than resolving the problem, and c) the one with more tethers to reality has a way bigger likelihood of formally retaining the student when and if a third party has to examine the contract.
Just. It was such a fucking waste. And not because anyone necessarily wanted it to be wasteful, either, or any malice, but because I was... mm, I think the fifth PhD student in that lab and that's actually not that many to be learning on. Systems that set you up to play with decades of people's lives should have more fail-safes and places for people to learn before they get to be the sole director of someone else's career for five fucking years, not less. And yet!
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