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lookingupatthesamemoon · 6 months ago

Text

glass houses

pairing: Gogh + Kendall Roy

summary: Gogh and Kendall have an argument in the Waystar office, entertaining Stewy.

word count: 1.7k

(divider by @/thecutestgrotto :3 )

Gogh could tell from the moment she set foot in the room what Kendall was expecting when he saw her. She could tell just by the look on his face. She was beginning to resent that look, that smirk laced with arrogance. He always had an air of entitlement to him, but when Gogh felt like she was becoming something he felt entitled to, she couldn’t look past it. Kendall, of course, seemed to expect that his girlfriend had shown up to the office to shower him in affection. That, perhaps, she had brought him a warm, homemade lunch, which would come with a side of kisses peppered on his left cheek. But, Gogh had never quite been that kind of girlfriend to him, and the longer she stayed with him, the less she believed she ever could be.

“I just don’t understand why this always has to turn into an argument with you,” Kendall chuckled out of exasperation, his left hand reaching up to rub his temples. “I mean, you knew, when we started all this, what my life was like. What my schedule was like. It’s not like I sprung it on you like some… some haphazard whack-a-mole. I thought you understood.”

“Yeah, Ken, I did understand – to a point,” Gogh replied, trying her best to remain calm, albeit failing. “Ken, the way you say these things to me sounds a hell of a lot like saying you don’t have time for me. That you can’t make time for me. You come home – to my apartment I might add – and even then, it’s all about you and never about me. About us. It’s always all about you.” Gogh knew she was unraveling, and she also knew, perhaps better than most, that Kendall would be soon to follow suit. He always did. He was a lot less stable than she was, a lot quicker to burst at the seams. They both knew that.that

They were standing in his office – well, his father’s office, which Gogh knew he liked to pretend might someday be his. The walls surrounding them were more like windows, clear glass allowing everyone else on the office floor to sneak peeks at them like they were fish in an aquarium. She also happened to know that people could surely hear the two of them through the glass as they both began to raise their voices – she knew this, of course, because she had heard her fair share of arguments from outside of this room. Fighting in the office was nothing new for Gogh, and she knew it was nothing new for Ken, either. The two of them were seemingly a recipe for disaster, and yet they couldn’t stay away from each other. There was no denying they cared for each other, although Gogh was almost certain she cared more for Ken than he was capable of caring about her. She was getting tired of sweeping things under the rug, sacrificing her own sanity to keep him from slipping back into old habits. She knew the honeymoon phase could never last forever, but she had selfishly hoped that it would at least last longer than a week or so. Kendall’s insolent personality was beginning to rub off on her, making the two of them less and less compatible by the day.

“Gogh, I can’t just drop my life for you. I’m, like… I’m built this certain way, and-”

“Don’t give me that,” Gogh interrupted.

“What do you want me to say then? Huh? Do you know how important this job is for me? And you? You and your fucking… Your fancy dinners, the jewelry-”

“This is about more than that and you know it! And don’t wave your financial stability in front of my face like it’s a steak in front of some stray dog – this has never been about the money, Ken! I never asked you to provide shit for me!”

The late nights and empty mornings were simply the last straw for her, at least before she would inevitably break. It was a vicious cycle Gogh found herself caught in, and yet, she didn’t feel like she wanted to leave. Perhaps deep down she did, but she was drawn to his seemingly eternal sadness, the constant back-and-forth of his state of mind. She hoped that maybe all he needed was just enough compassion to be fixed, to be cured of all of his mental strife – of course, deep down, she knew that was naive thinking this whole time. She just wanted to believe that she had the power to make everything okay. The harder she tried to fix him, the more she seemed to break herself. Although she was able to glue herself back together, she could only silently crack so many times. And Kendall, with a work addiction almost worse than his “off-and-on” coke addiction, never seemed to help.

She cared for him the best she could, but, sometimes, he was hard to care for. He was hard to care for when he became so manic that he had literal stars in his eyes. He was hard to care for when he disregarded everyone else’s feelings in favor of his own. He was hard to care for when he spent almost all 24 hours of the day at the office. And, of course, he was hard to care for when his lifelong friend and coworker was coercing him back into the worst part of his lifestyle. Gogh could understand that Stewy had been a liferaft for Kendall for what seemed like forever, but she could also recognize that he was one of the worst possible influences that Kendall could have in his life. She was sure he was out with Stewy these last few nights, high on whatever concoctions Stewy wanted to give him instead of home safe at her place or his own.

“Well, you sure as shit never complain about the things I do provide,” Kendall continued.

“Spending money on me doesn’t make me feel loved when you don’t do anything else, Ken,” Gogh sighed. “So don’t even give me the, ‘I do it because I love you,’ bullshit.”

Gogh glanced to her left, breaking out of her thoughts as she heard Kendall making yet another snide comment, noticing that one of his colleagues was headed right for them. Stewy. She almost rolled her eyes, but refrained.

“Could you two keep the domestic disputes off the clock, please?” Stewy requested, a snarky tone to his voice as he tapped on the glass door. “I mean, last I’d checked, she doesn’t even work here anymore,” he continued, gesturing towards Gogh in a way that made her skin crawl.

From the moment Gogh met Stewy, back when she was still working for the company, she could tell they would never get along. They would never see eye to eye. The first day that the two of them sat on a conference table together, it seemed as though Stewy was trying to undermine every contribution she made – Gogh couldn’t tell if it was more because she was a good ten years younger than him, or if it was because she was one of the only women at the table, but either way it didn’t sit right with her. Of course, when she mentioned this to Kendall, he brushed it off, always more than willing to come to his friend’s defense. She always felt as though she was out of their loop, especially when she worked with both of them, observing their sneaky deals and covert whispers from afar… Not that she needed to know all their business, but she at least would have appreciated it if Kendall wasn’t so evasive. Nevertheless, she tried to put her worries aside and get along with Stewy, but the night that he approached a recovering Ken with a dose of ketamine at a work banquet, Gogh decided that it wasn’t worth the effort. She was furious – as if she hadn’t taken ketamine with Kendall the night they first met, sloppily making out on a worn out couch at a warehouse party that he was surely too old to be at. She was always convincing herself that that was different, that it was years ago now, that Ken had changed, or that he was at least trying to. Stewy never seemed to help, like she tried to, but rather always seemed to bring Kendall back to the same rotten place.

Gogh waited a moment, expecting Kendall to at least have the decency to stand up for her despite their current situation; he didn’t. So, she spoke up instead. “Stewy, could you just piss off and mind your own fucking business for once in your goddamn life? It’s bad enough I have to deal with one manchild today, I don’t need you involved in this too.”

“Oh, feisty today, are we?” Stewy asked, raising an eyebrow, unable to hide his grin. “I could have security called on you, you know.”

Gogh could tell he wasn’t taking her seriously – not that he ever had. She was beginning to wonder whether or not Kendall took her seriously. “Do it then.”

“Alright, babe, calm it down,” Kendall interjected.

“Are you talking to me? Or to him?” Gogh retorted. “The way I see you two act around the office it’s a wonder you don’t shack up at his place. Lord only knows what you two are doing when I’m not there. At least you seem to have more time for him than you have for me.”

She could tell from the look on Ken’s face that she had touched some sort of nerve. She wished so badly that she could feel more accomplished about it. Instead, she found herself almost frowning, meeting his sad, puppy dog eyes. Even when she was so frustrated with him that she could barely bear to be within ten feet of him, she felt bad for him. She knew what he had been through, what he still goes through. She probably would’ve folded right then, if it wasn’t for Stewy still standing in the doorway. She always did. It was, perhaps, one of her worst habits. She could see a vision of herself already, hours from now, running to his aid as soon as he arrives at her doorstep after work, offering a freshly baked apology and open arms. He was her worst weakness.

#behold the famed kengogh fic i submitted for my creative writing course i took last fall #my prof loved it made me read it aloud for workshop #notably just called kendall 'ken' and changed stewy's name to 'sam' when i submitted for class in case there were any succ fans in there 😭#but anyway. hope u guys enjoy this it was a big hit in my class 🤓#this is the revised version too btw when i read the first draft in class everyone wanted more of stewy. so 😭#ship: corporate connection #rye writes !#self ship

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