#and we’re out of weed so I can’t even do anything to take the edge off

[mathsbian]

I’m having the worst level of pain I’ve had in. Weeks? Fuck fibromyalgia.

[something-tofightfor]

Lessons You Learn From a Past You Can’t Change - 1 (Kinktober #4)

Pairing: Joel Miller x female reader (Just Too Good To Be Gone pairing)

Word count: 10,068 

Kinktober prompts: Restraint (rope), praise kink, competence kink 

Rating: We’re going to give this one an M/E - it’s not quite smut yet, but there’s a lot of other stuff in it. 

Warnings: Canon TLOU violence (character death, blood, violence, end of the world etc), language, restraint, interrogation, mentions of sex and previous partners, Joel Miller comes with his own warning AS ALWAYS.

Summary: A routine trip for you and Joel turns into something more after an unexpected encounter near the abandoned town of Wilson, Wyoming. It starts out as a distraction tactic, but both of you learn something new about yourselves after Joel witnesses you behave in a way that he’s never seen before. 

Author’s Note: WHEW, THIS ONE. I literally just wanted to write about Joel and rope, and here we are 20k later with a ton of plot.

This takes place a little while before We’ll Feel It All Tonight - so Reader and Joel have been together a while, which is why their relationship seems much different from the place it’s been in the last couple things I’ve written for them. 

The actual smut is in part 2 - and it’s a lot. This is mainly setup, but there’s some good stuff in here, too... and I managed to include some things that foreshadow what’s coming for these two without being super explicit or spoilery toward the game/show. 

If you haven’t played or watched, you should be able to read this part - it hints at things, but never outright says anything to ruin plot surprises. 

I love this man with all of my heart and hope you enjoy this.   

If you have any problems or concerns please let me know! Thank you for reading! (Sorry about that cliffhanger.)

Song Suggestion: “Stay Young” by Strata

Just Too Good To Be Gone Masterlist 

Part 1: Constants Like Gravity, Heartbreak and Shame

The first time he saw you make a kill, Joel’s reaction shocked him. 

It shouldn’t have - he’d been watching men and women end lives for two decades, participating in the act more often than not. But on his first paired patrol with you, nearly two months into his and Ellie’s stay in Jackson, it was a reminder of how fucked up everything that he’d been foolish enough to believe they were escaping by staying within the walls of the community truly was. 

It wasn’t even really a person that you killed. The woman you took out with your compound bow was infected, clearly in the later stages of turning though still human enough to pause before she broke for the two of you, arms outstretched and jaws snapping, her eyes wide. 

And you hadn’t hesitated - taking a deep breath and nocking an arrow, planting your feet and aiming, drawing the bowstring back to your anchor point before you let the projectile fly, a slow breath escaping from between your lips as you released your grip. 

The woman fell fifteen feet from where you both stood, tumbling into the weeds at the edge of the trail. When he was sure that she was staying down, Joel looked at you in total silence, brows knit together as he waited to see what you’d say. Shit.

There was no terror or waver in your voice; instead you simply turned your head toward him and nodded once before you spoke. “Help me move her? I can do it on my own, but it’ll go faster if we do it together.” 

Dumbstruck with how calm you were because it wasn’t what he was used to - even from Ellie - Joel nodded, giving you a second to replace the bow in your sling before you’d made quick work of dragging the body off of the trail and into the underbrush twenty or so feet away. 

The part that truly shocked him was how upset he was about the way you’d handled the situation - like it was nothing, just another part of a Thursday afternoon in the warm summer sun. He was upset that carefully wiping the woman’s blood from your arrow after pulling it free from her body was no different than the way you’d wiped your hands on your jeans the first time he’d met you, cleaning the dirt off of them to shake his hand. 

He hadn’t known you well then, just from the nights spent at Tommy’s with Ellie and Maria, and the few conversations you’d had around town or while he did repairs - but he’d been impressed. Impressed and upset that no matter how safe and secure Jackson was, things like that happened when you left the protection of its walls. People like you had to be on alert at all times just in case. Jackson offered protection, but it didn’t insulate people from the horrors of the world, no matter how long they’d been inside the walls.

He’d seen the same from you many times since that first time - taking infected down with your bow and other weapons, but that day always came to mind when the two of you were alone together on patrol, and Joel never forgot the way he felt about it - shock and anger and sadness along with a little bit of relief that he hadn’t understood at the time but understood perfectly months later. 

Because it meant that you could take care of yourself and whoever you were with. It meant that you didn’t freeze when faced with danger. And if you could be that way with him, not relying on him to make the first move when you knew that that’s what he was used to doing, it meant that he could trust you - with his life and with Ellie’s, if it came down to it. 

Two months into knowing you, Joel saw you kill an infected for the first time - but it took a year and a half for him to see you kill a human. 

You were on a multi-day patrol and scouting run to Wilson. The two of you were on foot, making your way through one of the neighborhoods on the south end of town when he’d seen movement in one of the backyards. It was too fluid to be one of the infected, and you’d seen it, too - eyes meeting his in a silent agreement that you understood what needed to be done.

It only took a few minutes for the two of you to locate the source of the movement; two men younger than you and Joel, their possessions stashed on the screened in back porch of one of the long-abandoned houses. One of them had been stationed outside of it, and Joel had taken him down easily; sneaking up behind him and knocking him out, you following a few seconds later, a length of rope already in your hands. 

He watched you use your booted foot to roll the unconscious man onto his stomach, kicking away the knife that had come loose from his belt before you dropped to your knees atop him, quickly frisking him for additional weapons. Hmm. He kept an eye on you while you began to tie the man’s hands together, fingers deft as you wound the length of nylon around his wrists in an intricate pattern of knots. Never seen her do that before. His right hand was at his waist, ready to pull one of his weapons free if necessary, but you finished before he had any need to, a quick jut of your chin toward the cracked open door all he needed to know that you were ready to head inside, looking for the other person. 

You heard him before you saw him, footsteps from above telling the two of you exactly where to go, and that ambush was easy enough, too. Both of you made your way slowly up the stairs, Joel catching the man off guard as he exited the room and taking him down the same way he had the first. 

But that time, he spoke up as you tied the man’s hands together - in front of his body, the task done in only a few minutes. “Where’d you learn knots? You tie ‘em real quick.” 

“My next door neighbor.” You glanced up, shrugging. “He was in Scouts and he had a crush on me. He thought he’d win me over by showing me what he’d learned.” You returned your attention to what you were doing, the rope taut between the man’s wrists, and Joel watched as you slipped a finger between the length of it and his skin, ensuring that it was tight enough but not too tight. “We practiced together a lot. Tying knots. Packing a backpack. Building a fire.” You laughed, the sound sad. “That one ended up coming in handy a lot.” I’m sure it did. “He taught me to shoot a bow, too. His parents bought him a couple targets for the back yard, and we spent a lot of time out there together.” That’s why she’s so good with one now. 

“That boy might be the reason you’re alive right now.” Joel crossed his arms, eyes following as you used your knife to cut off a second length of rope, so you could repeat the process on the second man’s ankles. “He -”

“Oh, he’s most definitely why I’m still alive today.” You pushed the man’s jeans up enough to expose his ankles before looping the rope around them and pulling it tight. “My parents didn’t want me to join the Girl Scouts as a kid, so everything I learned was from Toby. Never thought I’d have to use it the way I did, but…” Trailing off as you pulled on the ends of the rope to re-tighten what you’d just tied, you cleared your throat. “Here we are.” 

“You said he had a crush on you.” You nodded, finishing with a few overhand knots to secure the ends of the rope before you stood, locking eyes with Joel. “Did anything ever -”

“I went to Prom with him.” You grinned. “Mine and his. He was a year older than I am, so -”

“Always liked older men, yeah?” His lips twitched and Joel was thrilled when you laughed, too, rolling your eyes. 

“Shut up. We dated for three and a half years in high school, and then he went to the East Coast for college, decided he was going to stay there after his first year, and told me that either I could move out there with him or we’d have to end things because he was happier there than he’d ever been in Illinois.” You tucked the knife back into its sheath as you stood, shrugging. “I couldn’t blame him. But I wasn’t about to try and transfer, so we just broke up. Kept in contact right up until…” You wet your lips and then bit the lower one, finally looking away. “I hope he made it. He was in one of the Carolinas for grad school. Earl? No that’s not right.” You paused, frowning as you thought. “They were really good at basketball, and -”

“Duke.” He grunted out the name as he bent over, hoisting the unconscious man over his shoulder and heading for the stairs. “That it?” There was a pause and Joel shifted the man’s weight to make him easier to carry, watching the expression on your face change.

“Duke, yeah. That sounds right.” You followed him as he headed for the back porch, Joel setting the man down against a tree about twenty feet from where you’d tied his friend to the porch post, facing in the opposite direction. “I’m gonna go and check on the other guy. Gag him. I figure we’re pulling a Miller?” That what we’re calling it now?

“We are.” He looked up at you, nodding once. “Just to find out what they’re doing. Might want to look through the backpacks, too. See what we can find.” He stood and reached for you once the second man was in place, Joel’s fingers grazing over your cheek. “Hopefully they’re just passing through, and we can let ‘em know about Jackson, tell ‘em it’s an option if they want it.”

But that wasn’t the case, and a quick search of both men’s backpacks was more than enough to put both of you on edge - you pacing nervously next to the porch and Joel sitting on the steps with his arms crossed over his chest, deep in thought. Shit. 

It was the second man that woke up first, Joel telling you quietly to stay where you were and keep an eye on his still unconscious friend. But we’re gonna start right here. 

Joel ripped the man’s gag off as he crouched down, taking a deep breath. “You’re gonna answer a couple questions for me, and depending on what you and your buddy say, you might get to walk outta here. You understand?” 

“Yeah, sure.” He could see the anger in the bound man’s eyes, and Joel immediately knew that whatever came out of his mouth was going to be a lie. But he asked his questions nonetheless, very much aware of the way you hovered a few feet behind them and between the porch and the tree, your hands at the ready near your waist. “Ask your fuckin’ questions.” 

Joel asked four questions and the man answered one truthfully - that they were headed west. With a deep sigh, he stood, scrubbing a hand over his chin and briefly looking at you. He saw worry in your eyes but not fear, and with a single movement of his head, Joel watched as you reset your feet, hand moving from where it had been to rest on the butt of your gun. Just in case. 

He met your eyes hoping that you saw the warning in them: only shoot if you have to, we might not need to go that route - before he headed for the porch, taking a seat on the third step up and rolling his shoulders out. We might not need to… but I think we will. 

Joel wet his lips and then leaned in, gripping the second man by the shoulder and shaking him hard. “Wake up.” He grunted, eyes staying closed and Joel tried again, a satisfying thunk loud in his ears as the man’s head made contact with the wood behind him. “I said wake the fuck up.” He shoved once more, the pressure of his fingers increasing. When the other man’s eyes fluttered open, Joel gritted his teeth, a reminder of the last time he’d had to thoroughly interrogate someone floating to the surface of his memories. Much warmer now. No snow. Ellie’s not in danger … yet. “You’re gonna tell me what you’re doin’ here and if you and your friend give me the same answers, we might -” 

“I’m tellin’ you nothing.” He sneered, eyes flashing. “You’re -”

“Your friend just told me that you’re coming from Denver and heading west.” He paused. “Said that you’re just passing through, looking for a place to stay for the winter because you don’t know if you can get to the coast before it gets too cold.” Joel sniffed. “He said it’s just been the two of you for a couple years.” 

“He left somethin’ out.” The man leaned forward as much as was possible thanks to your use of restraints, his eyes on Joel’s face. “We’re only alive now because we’ve killed all the other people we ran into, and now you and your b-” 

“That might be true.” Joel sighed, head shaking back and forth. “But you won’t lay a finger on either of us because if you so much as move some way I don’t like?” He leaned in, eyes narrowed. “I will make you regret it, because the only goddamn thing either of you have said that’s true is that you’re headed west.” Joel stood then, reaching into his back pocket and pulling out a map and a small journal, holding them both in front of the man’s face. “Now how ‘bout we try again, and you tell me what this is?” 

He saw fear in the other man’s eyes then, but it was replaced with a seething anger that Joel was entirely too familiar with only moments later. “You looked through our shit which means you aren’t stupid. You know exactly what that is and what it means.” He paused long enough to sneer up at Joel. “Unless you can’t read?” 

Joel’s eyes scanned the journal pages quickly, once again reading the words that were scrawled in the most recent entries. Entire city’s got walls. Guards and lights. Couple hundred people at most. Regular 2 person patrols. Saw guns - LOTS of guns. Multiple ways in and out. “Who are you taking this to?” Joel closed the book and held it up before tucking it back into his pocket. “Saw your little map, too, the way you added in the wall and marked the roads we use, where the lights and towers are?” 

“Sure fuckin’ did.” The man grinned, and before he could stop himself, Joel lashed out, fingers barely closing into a fist before they made contact, blood immediately spurting from the other man’s mouth. He heard you inhale but you were otherwise quiet, and after giving the man a few seconds to collect himself, Joel grabbed him by the hair, wrenching his head backwards. 

“Where are you from and where are you going? How many more of you am I gonna have to -” 

“We are going west.” He licked his lips, smearing the blood across them, but didn’t look away. “And we’re tryin’ to get to the coast.” He leaned closer again, eyes blazing, and for one brief moment, Joel imagined snapping the man’s neck before he could say another word. “And I can’t wait to tell her that -” His words were cut off again by another blow, head snapping back, and when the man laughed, Joel understood that he’d get nothing more out of him. 

“You ain’t gonna get the chance to tell anyone anything.” Joel moved fast, springing to his feet and reaching for his waist in one motion, the blade of the knife smoothly sliding through the man’s shirt and between two ribs, buried to the hilt. Years of practice and experience allowed Joel to hit the sweet spot without even looking down, his lips twisted into a snarl. That’s it. No more lies. The man’s eyes rolled up and locked with his, and then Joel leaned down again, speaking softly into the man’s ear as the bound man drew in a gasping breath. “And you’re never gonna see the coast again, either.” He withdrew the knife swiftly, more gurgling breaths coming from beneath him, and then Joel stood.

He wiped the blade off on the man’s shoulder and then turned toward you, meeting your eyes briefly to make sure that you were still with him. You were - and though you looked somewhat rattled, he saw the corner of your mouth lift in a tiny smile before you turned your attention back to the second man, letting out a breath. “Please tell me you’re going to make a better decision than your friend over there.” 

“Why should I?” He looked up at you, shaking his head. “You’re just going to kill me.” He had to bite his tongue to keep from speaking and agreeing, but Joel stayed quiet, giving you a chance, even as he closed the distance between where he’d been and where you still were.

“Not necessarily.” You wet your lips, taking a breath. “We know you didn’t come from Denver. And we know you’re going west, but where are you headed?” Moving your hand away from the gun, you crouched down, hands hanging between your knees. “Tell us. Why did you have that map? What are you -” 

It happened in slow motion - Joel’s mouth opening in surprise as the man lunged for you, hands still bound together. If he got his arms around your neck, there was a chance that he’d do damage before Joel could get to you, but the man never got the chance. 

Raising one hand, you positioned it so that you could strike in seconds, your arm moving before Joel could even react. He heard a sickening crunch and then the man was wailing, calling you a bitch as the lower half of his face and shirt grew damp with blood from his likely shattered nose. But you weren’t done, using the momentum of your strike to push your target onto his back, the man’s head bouncing off of the ground and you settling your weight on top of him, paying no attention to the blood. “Wrong decision.” 

Joel was on his feet, gun drawn but still hesitant to intervene until you’d had a chance to take care of things the way you chose to. She can do this. She’s gonna make him talk. He said your name and then kicked his foot gently forward, making contact with the sole of your boot to let you know that he was close. But at the sound of your voice he froze again, his surprise taking him back to the day he’d seen you use your bow for the first time. 

“I broke your nose. Don’t make me break your fingers, too. Just tell me who you’re going back to, and we -” The man writhed beneath you and you pushed both hands down and onto his shoulders, voice even as you continued. “You’re making this much worse than it needs to be.”

The man screamed, his hands lifting, and Joel realized what was happening in the same moment that you did, your eyes finally leaving the man’s face and looking down, watching as his fingers grabbed for the handle of the knife you carried. Fuck. No, she - 

You swatted the man’s bound hands away and reached for your waist - Joel would have gone for the gun but you didn’t, your bloodied fingers grasping the knife handle and pulling it free. “You want this so bad?” Leaning down, you lowered your face toward the man’s, voice dropping even lower. “Then you can have it.” 

He froze as you slid the knife into the smooth skin directly beneath the man’s jaw before flicking your wrist down and to the right, blood spurting upward at the same time it bubbled out through the wound. You were covered in red seconds later, but stayed in place, waiting to stand until the man beneath you went limp, head tilted down and your chin resting on your chest. Holy shit. 

Joel reached for you, taking a deep breath as his hand made contact with your arm, skin damp with the warmth of the man’s blood. “Hey.” You turned slowly, the knife still in your hand, and Joel’s eyes watched as the crimson liquid dripped from the end of it and into the already stained grass at your feet. “You alright?” 

“I…” You frowned, glancing down and then meeting his eyes. “I shouldn’t have … He might have told us wh-”

“No.” Joel reached for you with his other hand, his palm settling against your cheek. “He wasn’t gonna say a damn thing. Neither was his friend. You did what you had to do, just like I did.” You tilted your head, leaning into his touch, but didn’t speak, and Joel realized that his heart was pounding. 

Yet again, you’d kept your cool during a tense situation, potentially saving the both of you - and the people of Jackson - within the span of a few seconds. He felt your shoulders rise and fall as you took a steadying breath and then you said his name, resignation in your tone. “We need to move these bodies. We can put them in one of the garages and then mark it, and …” You took another breath. “And then we can keep looking around for -”

“No.” He swept his thumb over your cheek in a slow arc, smearing blood over your skin. “No, we’re done lookin’ for the day. We’ll move these bodies and then clean ourselves up, find a good place to spend the night.” He said your name then, waiting until you were staring into his eyes so that he could see that you were alright to continue. “Where’d you learn to do that with your hand and somebody’s face? Toby again?”

There was a pause - but only a short one - and then you grinned, wrinkling your nose. “No, that’s from my time on campus in college. But…” You laughed quietly, the sound breaking the tension and helping him relax. “But more recently? Your brother gave me and Maria a little refresher.” Of course he did. 

Joel dropped his hand from your face after a few more seconds, turning his attention to the body on the ground between you, attempting to steady his breaths. We’ll take carea this and then … figure out what comes next. 

— 

Two hours later, the bodies of the men had been stashed in a shed, the doors shut as securely as possible to keep animals out and then marked with one of the cans of spray paint that you’d brought. You took the men’s belongings with you - backpacks filled with supplies that would be useful in Jackson tied to the saddles of your horses along with the items that you’d already gathered earlier in the trip. You’d made your way to one of the safehouses, locking the horses inside of a large barn before heading to Fish Creek, both of you stripping your clothes off and then wading into the water in your underwear. 

Both of you had taken your time in the cool water. Even though neither of you had spoken much, Joel could tell that you were calm, and that it wasn’t an act. He’d watched you scrub at your arms and face with a small piece of soap, stepping forward to use his thumb to clear off the same smudge of dried blood that he’d spread over your cheek, and before stepping away, he’d kissed you - a gentle press of his lips to yours while his hand lingered on the back of your neck, the tips of your fingers curling against his bare chest. We’re OK. 

And after drying off, you’d headed back to where the horses were, though you entered a different building - the smaller barn. “They used to rehab birds here.” You were wearing a threadbare flannel and a pair of jeans, eyeing Joel as he walked through the space. “Eagles. Hawks. Owls. All kinds of birds of prey.” Moving right behind him, you leaned your head against his shoulder as he inhaled, steadying himself. “Taught classes about them. It was a tourist attraction, but they did a lot of really important work here when shit like this mattered.” 

“I didn’t know you liked birds.” He raised an arm, slinging it around your shoulders. “Guess they’re right when they say you learn somethin’ new every day.” He heard you sigh, but when you spoke again, there was amusement in your voice. 

“I don’t, really. But this was one of the places we took books from. Journals and files and models, too. We figured if we were going to keep Jackson going, we needed all of the educational stuff we could get our hands on. The birds were already gone by the time I got to Wyoming, though. Maria said someone let ‘em all free when things started getting bad, but they were definitely here at some point.” 

It was on the tip of his tongue - the question of whether or not you wanted or needed to talk about what had happened, but before Joel could voice it, you beat him to it. 

“I’m alright, Joel. I can feel how tense you are.” Turning to look at you, Joel took and held a long breath. “I’m only upset we didn’t get much out of those two. If I would have waited just a little longer, maybe … Maybe he would have…”

“You gave yours much more of an opportunity to talk than I did.” He smirked, though there was no warmth in the expression. “They weren’t going to tell us a damn thing and you know that as much as I do. Wherever they were from…” He sighed. “At least they’re not gettin’ back there.” 

“They were watching us, Joel. Jackson. Making notes.” You frowned, the lines between your eyes deepening. “They were looking for something, and -” He felt a prickle at the back of his neck, your voice fading as Bill’s words replayed in his head. You keep babysitting long enough and eventually it's gonna blow up in your face. “Joel?” Your fingers were wrapped around his arm, pressure light. “You OK?” 

“Yeah. Just thinkin’.” He lifted a hand to swipe at the back of his head. “Listen. We’ll tell Tommy and Maria about these two when we get back. Show ‘em what we found. Put out some extra patrols, up the number of guards. Whoever those guys were? If they were looking to tell someone about Jackson, whatever they found isn’t gonna get reported, and if they were trying to make it back to the coast, that means we’ve got months before anyone knows they aren’t comin’ back, and even longer before anyone else would get here to look for them.” He said your name again, stepping closer and holding your chin between the fingers of one hand. “We’ll be ready. I’ll be ready.” Nothing’s gonna happen to her as long as I’m around to stop it. “But after today…” He arched a brow. “I’m thinkin’ maybe it’s not me that they should be afraid of.” 

That got a real laugh out of you, and Joel was relieved when you moved forward, turning your head to the side and hugging him tightly. “You said it before. I just did what I had to do.”

“That’s the first time I’ve ever seen you kill someone.” It came out smoothly, like he was telling you what his schedule was instead of making an admission about the things you were capable of, and Joel found that he couldn’t meet your eyes. “I know you have before, but …”

“Shit, really?” You gasped. “Joel, I -”

“Really.” He shook his head quickly, hands moving to your hips, steadying you. “I’ve seen you take down infected. Seen you hunt. Seen you fight … but I’ve never…” He paused, hands still in place, yours pressed flat against his chest. “I’ve never seen you do that.” 

“First time for everything, right?” Smiling sadly, you pulled away from him and then walked back over to where your sleeping bags were set up, sinking down and leaning your back against the wall. “I wish you didn’t have to see me like that, Joel. I wish -” 

“Can I tell you something?” He followed you, lowering himself so that he was sitting in front of you and then reaching for you with both hands, taking yours and rubbing his thumbs over your knuckles. “As much as I wish you - and Ellie and Tommy and all of us didn’t have to do things like that? Knowing that we can is… a relief.” That’s the right word for it. “Because it means that none of the people I care about are helpless.”

“It does.” You ducked your head, nodding. “And it makes it easier watching you guys go out on patrol or supply runs. I worry, but I worry less, and I hope you do, too.” I do. He’d never stop worrying; accidents happened, and he knew that all too well - Tess’ face flashing in his memory at the thought. But worrying less is … better. “I still don’t like killing people. But I do it because I have to.”

“No one likes it.” He sighed, still holding your hands. “But there ain’t anyone alive today that lived through this shit without gettin’ their hands dirty.” Some of us dirtier than others. “We don’t need to keep talking about this. It -”

“Alright.” You agreed immediately, squeezing his hands. “We can talk about something else if you want.” You leaned in, looking up at him through your lashes. “How about we start with the look on your face when you were watching me tie those guys up?” That hadn’t been where he’d thought you’d go with the conversation, but the abrupt change in topics did the trick, Joel’s eyes widening as he struggled to find words to reply. “It’s like you’ve never seen knots before, Joel, and I find that hard to believe, since you grew up in Texas.” She’s trying to distract me, and if that’s what she needs… I’ll let her have it.

“I lived near Austin in a suburb, not on a ranch.” He turned your hand over in his and let go of the other one, his fingers tracing the lines in your palm. “And I never did Scouts, I played sports. Me an’ Tommy both did. Wasn’t until I started doin’ construction in high school that I really learned my way around any typea tool.” He paused, narrowing his eyes briefly. “And it wasn’t until I had Sarah and Nadine left that I got good with ‘em. I had to. Had to keep a roof over our heads.” And it was worth it. “But I’ve gotta say, watchin’ you earlier was somethin’ special.” In a couple ways.

“But you’ve seen…” Straightening up, you shook your head. “Joel you’ve known me for almost two years, and you’ve seen me with the horses and supplies and -” 

“Not with people, though.” He hummed, fingers leaving your palm as they stroked over your wrist. “And you an’ me have been on a lot of patrols together. You haven’t done that in a long time, and you didn’t even have to think about it today. It…” He wet his lips, closing his eyes and groaning quietly. “It was real impressive, and I know it shouldn’t have, but it kinda… kinda turned me on to see you with that rope in your hands.” That’s an understatement.

Your silence stretched out for a few seconds and then you laughed, the sound exploding from your mouth as you repositioned your legs, twisting them beneath your body so that you were kneeling in front of him. Pulling your hand free from his, you reached out with both of yours and took his face between your hands. “The way you handled that first guy did the same for me.” This is fucked up. “I can take care of myself, Joel, and you know that. But people are different from the infected, and I’ll be honest with you. The only time I’ve ever not been at least a little scared to run into them is when I’m with you out here.” 

He heard the tremble in your voice and he leaned closer, closing the distance between you. “I’ve got you. You don’t… I’d never let …”

“I know.” Pressing your forehead to his, you inhaled. “The world fucking sucks, and it’s not a good idea to put your faith in someone else being there for you, but at least I know that if I need to, I can do that sometimes with you.” You can. He closed his eyes, nodding, and for the next few seconds, the two of you stayed like that in silence - Joel’s thoughts running wild. Then you spoke up, voice little more than a whisper. “In the movies, Joel, this is the part where the two characters would tear each other’s clothes off and fuck like crazy.” Sure is.

“That what you want?” He pulled back and opened his eyes, his hands on the backs of your arms and squeezing. “Because I can definitely -” 

“No.” You didn’t look away, the expression in your eyes clear and focused. “Because that would imply one of us probably won’t make it back to Jackson, and that’s not going to work for me, Joel.” Me either. You kissed him then, mouth soft against his. 

As he kissed you back, the earlier hours melted away. The man’s focus only on you right in front of him and nothing else as you slid your tongue past his lips and into his mouth. Your hands moved from his face to his shoulders, Joel’s going to your waist and digging into the material of your shirt like they had so many times before. 

When you broke apart, you cleared your throat, saying his name. “Also.” You paused, arching a brow. “If you ever want me to teach you to tie some of those knots you like seeing me make so much, I can probably fit a lesson or two into my schedule.”

“You’re gonna teach me?” Joel scoffed, clicking his tongue between his teeth. “That’d be somethin’.” 

“There’s plenty of things to demonstrate on.” You continued to speak, standing up and stretching before you turned and headed for your pack, bending over and reaching into it. “The animals. Supplies. Stuff in the houses. Wood piles.” She’s teasing me. He felt his chest grow tight at the realization, and Joel pushed to his feet, too, walking over to where you were. He didn’t say anything right away, though, waiting until you’d stood up and turned to face him, a length of rope held between your hands. “You.”

“Me?” His breath caught, shoulders stiffening. Shit. “You wanna tie me up?” Uncertainty flashed in your eyes, but you recovered  quickly, grip on the bundle of rope you held tightening. 

“It’s always an option.” Moving closer, you shrugged. “I can show you what I can do.” Pausing, you wet your lips, eyes flashing. “And I guess I can show you some knots, too.” Oh, shit. He moved without saying anything, hands shooting out to land on your hips as he urged you backwards, moving until your back made contact with the barn’s wall. Joel’s body pressed against yours and his head turned so that he could speak into your ear, the man settling his weight against your front. 

“I’m sure you could.” He couldn’t help it - pausing to drag the tip of his nose along the soft skin just in front of your ear, his fingers tightening against you at the way your breath caught in your throat. “But that’s going to have to wait til we’re back in Jackson where it’s safer.” Joel’s lips pressed against the bottom of your jaw and lingered, his eyes closed. “Last thing I’m ever gonna do is put us in a position where I can’t protect us if I need to.” 

You gasped, his name falling from your lips as you dropped the rope and wound your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. “Joel, I was just -” 

“Don’t you dare apologize.” He rasped the words, pulling back so that he could look into your eyes. “I was just makin’ sure that you understand I’m not telling you no. I’m just telling you no for now.” Joel licked his lips, watching as understanding settled across your features, your eyes brightening again. “We could try something else, though.” 

“What?” He barely heard it, the question so quiet that you cleared your throat and then repeated it, never looking away. “What do you -” Joel stepped back and then bent down, picking up the length of rope and turning it over in his hands, both ends dangling and ending a few inches from the ground. “Fuck, Joel, I … don’t keep me in suspense here, what do you mean?”

“You want to teach me how to tie some knots, you gotta know where to start, right?” Part of him was screaming that it was a stupid idea - that even thinking of doing what he wanted to do would put both of you in some danger, despite the fact  that you were barricaded into the barn, there was no one around for miles, and the windows were covered to allow almost no light to escape. But the other part of him was watching your reaction to his words - specifically the way your lips parted as you sucked in a breath, eyes going wide when they locked with his. He was focused on the way your fingers curled at your sides, your body trembling while you fought to control your response. “Won’t know where to start if you don’t know what I’m already good at, right?” 

He knew what part of him should have won out, but it was the other part that he wanted to act on - Tommy’s reminder along with yours that if the people in Jackson didn’t try to do more than survive, it was all for nothing. And this is definitely more than surviving. It only took a few seconds for you to collect yourself, rolling your shoulders out as you cocked your head to the side, uncertainty replaced with challenge in your eyes. “Tell me more.” 

“Just because I liked watching you doesn’t mean that I don’t know my way around onea these.” He held the rope up with one hand, a brow arched. “I said I wasn’t good with tools as a kid, not that I’m not good with ‘em now.” The words had the desired impact on you - your lips twitched, eyes dropping to his hand and then rising again. “You let me show you what I can do here, and next time, it’s all you.” 

You thought about it briefly, releasing a breath through your nose and then nodded, the hold on his hips loosening as you stroked slowly up his sides. “Alright, Joel.” You smiled then, voice steady. “Tell me what you want me to do.” 

— 

You knew that you should have been more freaked out about what had happened with the two men earlier, but you weren’t. And it’s because I know that we did what we had to do. 

You repeated that to yourself as you carried the bodies away from where they’d fallen, and continued as you and Joel moved the horses. You focused on it while the two of you cleaned off in the river and then after you’d closed yourselves into the barn, two lanterns lit to add to the brightness of the wide open room courtesy of the skylights overhead. 

And it was reaffirmed when Joel reminded you, his voice soothing enough to take the sting of what you’d done and turn it into something manageable, the man’s admission that seeing you act so confidently had not only reaffirmed that he didn’t need to worry all the time, but that it had been a turn on. 

Your words in reply had made it a little easier to breathe, too - the truth something that you weren’t quite keeping from him, though it wasn’t something that you liked admitting. Even though it’s not because he was able to easily handle someone, it’s because he … because of how capable he is. Joel made you feel safe, the man’s competence a welcome discovery even when you’d only known him for weeks. But years later, the fact that you were still finding new things to appreciate was something you cherished - and it seemed that he felt the same about you. 

It had been easy to transition into teasing with him about your rope skills. But the realization that he’d never seen you end a living person’s life was something that you knew you’d think about later, in the safety and solitude of your own home, Joel on the other side of town with Ellie. That’s not now, though. Now… right now, we’re… we’re negotiating. 

The offer to teach him knots was a legitimate one, and though you hadn’t started the conversation thinking about tying him up, ending it that way felt right. For us, anyway. It wasn’t something that you’d ever explored with anyone, especially after the outbreak, but you’d dabbled with restraints in college - handcuffs and silk ties, even a long sleeved t-shirt artfully twisted to keep your hands behind your back once or twice. 

You’d never actually had the opportunity to use your skills on another person, and it wasn’t until the words had slipped through your lips that you realized how much you wanted to. Especially with him. Joel frequently let you have the upper hand - the man giving you leeway when it came to taking you to bed, laying back and letting you dictate the way things went whenever you wanted to. But this… 

The thought of him with his wrists tied together made your heart race, the rhythm speeding up even more when you imagined him with them behind his back, unable to do anything but wait - and maybe kiss you - if you let him. And if he wants to.

His immediate denial made sense, too. If he’d agreed and the two of you had been busy, and then needed a way to release him from the restraints in order to protect yourselves, there was a risk. And that risk increases especially today, because of those men. He seemed interested, though, and when he’d confirmed that he wasn’t discounting the possibility forever, you’d relaxed, trying to figure out how to shift the conversation. Because if I don’t, I’m never going to stop thinking about it.

He’d done it for you only a few seconds later, proposing a solution that would benefit both of you, even though you didn’t know exactly what he’d do. Something good, you reminded yourself as you agreed, eyes flicking down to the coiled length of rope in his hands. Something really good. 

While you waited for him to tell you what came next, you looked around at your surroundings - a mostly bare floor, a small mattress pushed up against one wall, shelves and cupboards and drawers lining the interior of the barn, the high-raftered ceilings and the loft above you probably covered in dust - taking it all in. 

“We’ll go up in the loft.” Joel finally spoke, winding the rope tighter around his hands. “Take our shit up there, sleep there for the night.” He nodded, eyes still on you. “Safer. Anybody or anything gets in, we can see ‘em before they see us.” 

“Smart.” You broke the spell and stepped away from him, bending over to grab your pack and a lantern, Joel right behind you and reaching for his bag, the other lantern, and the small bag of weapons that were left in the barn for anyone that needed to stay there. “I think there’s another bed up there, but it’s not as comfortable as this one. Just a straw stuffed mattre-”

“We won’t need the bed.” He said your name, your attention immediately returning to him from over your shoulder, the man smirking. “At least not right away. But I promise you, I’ll keep you comfortable tonight no matter what.” That made your stomach lurch, Joel’s tone deep and rumbling, the slightest hint of strain in it. “Go. Up. I’ll be behind you. I need to block the doors off.” 

And so you climbed - hooking the lantern over one arm as you rose and then sitting it down onto the boards once you’d reached the second level of the building. You hauled yourself over the edge and then picked the lantern up again, holding it high as you looked around. It was almost cozy - the floor covered with a thin layer of hay, fragrant from the heat that had baked it through the warm summer months. It made soft crunching noises as you headed for the far wall - the light illuminating the mattress you’d mentioned along with an overturned wooden crate and a sealed plastic one - perfect places for you to rest the lantern. 

There were blankets in the plastic tub, and when you opened it to shake them out, you were rewarded with the scent of warm laundry, holding the fabric to your nose and inhaling for a few seconds. It wasn’t quite the same as before, but the shock of it was enough to take you back to your parents’ house, eyes closing at the memory from nearly twenty five years earlier. “We’re shut in for now. Might go do one more check on the horses later,  but if anyone tries to come in here, we’ll hear ‘em long before we’re in danger.” Good. 

Turning to face him as he joined you on the loft, you watched as the man shrugged the pack off of his shoulder and set the bag of weapons down. He’d coiled the rope over one shoulder, and when that slipped down his arm too, your eyes were drawn to it, an unconscious shiver coursing through your body. “You can put the other lantern over -”

“Oh, I know where it’s going.” He grinned at you, nodding. “I need it for a couple minutes, though.” Turning the light up as high as it would go, Joel set the lantern down and then tilted his head back to look up, his smile growing wider. “That’s good.” He returned his attention to you, taking a deep breath. “Before I do this, I need to go over a couple things with you.” 

“Alright.” You stepped closer, eyes on Joel’s face. “What’s up, Joel?” 

“I’ve never used rope like this before. I…” He paused, thinking. “Used handcuffs a couple times back before everything happened. Think we used a scarf or somethin’ like that too. But … after? It’s been … zip ties. Legitimate cuffs that aren’t meant for fun. Rope that wasn’t soft that was used to restrain people so I could question ‘em.” Same. I did the same thing. “If you want me to stop or untie you, tell me, and I will. I can see myself gettin’ a little carried away, so -”

“Good.” You reached for him, hand settling on his cheek. “I hope you do. I want you to. I trust you, Joel. You aren’t going to hurt me or scare me or -” 

“Have you ever been tied up?” The question was a relevant one - and it hadn’t ever really come up before. Even though your sex life with Joel wasn’t exactly tame, you didn’t often have a chance to explore things in depth the same way people had prior to September of 2013. 

“Same as you. Used cuffs and scarves a couple times in college. Had a boyfriend try to hold my hands down with his, but it wasn’t…” Your gaze dropped to Joel’s hands, your shoulders relaxing. “He couldn’t do it the way you do, Joel. His hands were too small.” Stepping even closer, you reached out, fingers moving over the back of his hand and the ridges of his knuckles. “Wasn’t strong enough to really hold me in place, either. But I’ve never had anyone tie me before, so this is going to be… a learning experience for both of us, I guess.” 

“I’ll be careful.” He said your name, his other hand curling around your hip. “I promise.” 

“OK.” Licking your lips, you raised your gaze, meeting his. “There anything else?” 

“Don’t stay quiet. Tell me what you want. You won’t be able to use your hands, but everything else is … up to you.” He cleared his throat. “Wanna make you happy. Want to -”

“You already do.” It was sappy and you knew it, but it was also the truth. “I’m not worried about that at all.” Leaning in, you bit gently down on the man’s jaw, teeth grazing over the skin. “Tie me up, Joel. Need you now.” You met his eyes again and nodded before taking a step back and letting your hands fall to your sides while you waited. Now I just need to see what he does.

Joel’s shoulders straightened and he nodded once, letting the coiled rope fall from his fingers and hit the floor. “First thing I’m gonna do is tie your hands.” He measured out a length of rope and then transferred it into one hand, reaching for his belt - and the knife sheathed there. “Don’t need all of this for that, though.” He folded the rope over to make a loop and then cut through the nylon in one motion, his thumb seated on the flat part of the blade to guide it. “Just under a yard, right?” I guess? Blinking, you kept your eyes on him. “Hold your right arm out.” 

You did as he asked, eyes on him as he put the blade away again. Joel then took the rope between both hands, stretching it out to its full length. You wanted to question him, to know what he was going to do next but instead chose to stay quiet, watching as your heart pounded in your chest. His fingers twisted the end of the rope into position, looping it over and then under, angling it so that the end passed through the wrapped portion before he pulled it tight, securing the knot. “This is called a poacher’s knot.” He held it up, showing you.” Real strong, real secure, but it comes loose when you pull on the end of it.” He demonstrated, using one hand to grasp the knot and the other to tug on the tail, the loop growing smaller. “Won’t come completely undone if you pull because your arm’s gonna be in the center, but …” 

He slipped it over your hand and settled the much smaller circle of rope against your wrist, pulling it tight. It bit into your skin but didn’t hurt, and when Joel said your name you looked back up, mouth open slightly. ”Joel, you…” He’s giving me an out. If I need it or want it, he’s … 

You weren’t familiar with bondage, like you’d told him, but you did know that for many, the fact that they couldn’t escape was part of the thrill. But not today. He’s making sure… “If it’s too tight, you can pull up here,” he continued, sliding his fingers between the skin of your wrist and the binding, tugging gently. “It’ll widen.” He waited a few seconds and then moved to your other wrist, repeating the process but leaving the majority of the rope’s length free between your wrists. “You alright?” 

Flexing your arms - and fingers- you looked down at your bound limbs. “I’m great.” You paused, thinking. “But shouldn’t there be less space between? I can still move, and -”

“I ain’t done with you yet.” Joel’s lips curved up into a smile, the man reaching for the center of the rope binding your hands together. He bent down without letting go, picking up the end of the longer cut length and held it up. “This one’s called a racking bend knot.” Deftly, he threaded the single strand through the loop, weaving it over and under the curved section multiple times before tucking the remaining piece through the last row he’d finished. “Use this one when I want to lift something. It’s real strong.” He tugged on the longer end of the second rope, your arms moving slightly as he pulled you toward him. “Feel that?”

“Y… yeah.” The rope bit into the skin of your wrists but not unpleasantly, and your eyes flew upward, searching for his. “Joel, that feels…” Trailing off, you realized you didn’t know what to say. You were restrained, yes, but you could still move, the man holding onto the length of rope slowly winding it again, shortening the portion that hung from his hands. This is fucking unreal. You could get free if you needed to - he’d tied the knots so that even bound you wouldn’t be in any real danger as long as you could keep calm long enough to loosen one side. And there’s enough slack that I can do either of them, so … 

Overcome with the desire to kiss him, you surged forward, hands rising to cup Joel’s cheeks and tilt his head to give you the perfect angle. He let you go for a few seconds, even parting his lips and sliding his tongue along the seam of yours, but before the kiss got any deeper, he broke away, shaking his head. “I’m still not done.” You’re not? But what else could you possibly do? 

That question was answered only a few moments later when Joel stepped even further backwards, keeping hold of the coil of rope in one hand and reaching for the lantern you’d set down with the other. Climbing onto the crate, Joel looked up, smirking, and then tossed the bundle of rope up and over one of the wooden beams that supported the barn’s roof. Oh, fuck me. Your knees shook as you watched the end trail down, pooling on the loft’s floor, and when Joel’s feet were planted again, he replaced the lantern and then curled one hand around the hanging rope, placing the other on his hip. 

He stayed silent, eyes locked with yours even though you were positive that he could hear your heart beating in your chest - and then, finally, nearly a minute later, he spoke. “Gonna use somethin’ called a quick release bowline knot to tie this end to onea the wall support beams.” He turned his back to you, making his way to the wall, the rope held loosely in his hand. “This is onea my favorite knots. Simple, but real useful. Kinda like tyin’ your shoes.” 

You wanted to laugh. In fact, you almost did, but the sound caught in your throat when he pulled on his end of the rope, forcing your arms up and pulling them vertical above your head. He looked over his shoulder at you, eyes landing on your face for a brief second before they moved up, the man assessing how much slack he was giving you. He pulled with both hands, stretching your arms over your head, though he stopped sort of forcing you onto your toes. 

Joel turned away from you to tie the final knot, and as you fought to control your breathing, you focused on the way his shoulders flexed beneath the shirt he wore, material pulled taut over his broad frame. It was a sight that you’d seen hundreds of times before but it never got old - and when Joel spun back in your direction, stepping to the side so that you could see the neat knot, snug against the aged wood, you couldn’t keep the quiet laugh from escaping. “I think you’ve been holding out on me, Joel Miller.” Closing the distance between the two of you, Joel stopped about a foot away, gesturing to your hands. 

“Test ‘em out. Tell me how they feel. Let me know you’re alright with this.” Tilting your head back to look at your bound wrists, you flexed them in slow circles and then bent your elbows, checking to see how taut the line was. You had plenty of give between your hands, and even though you didn’t plan on using the out, you slipped your fingers beneath the rope on your opposite wrist, just to see. It loosened immediately and with that, you nodded at the man, bringing your chin back level. 

“Feels good. I can move if I need to, but -”

“But you won’t be touching me.” He raised an eyebrow, wetting his lips. “So I guess I’m gonna have to make up for that.” Desire settled low in the pit of your stomach, and without thinking you shuffled your feet, trying to move closer to him. “One tug on the one behind me, and it comes undone. A couple seconds and -”

“I know, Joel. A couple seconds and I’m loose.” You blinked slowly, not wanting to break eye contact. “Hey. That’s three knots that I won’t have to teach you.” His lips twitched, but he didn’t speak. “What’s next?” 

“Whatever you want.” His voice wasn’t quite strained but he sounded different than usual, the man staring at you for long moments before bringing one hand up to scratch the back of his head.  “And I mean whatever you want.” You wanted to touch him - but that wasn’t part of the game, and you were determined to play along, to make the control you’d given up and the likelihood of putting Joel somewhat on edge worthwhile for both of you. So I’ll do the next best thing. 

“Kiss me.” Flexing your fingers, you shifted your weight, bringing your hands to the rope that he’d attached to the one around your wrists and curling your fingers around it, grip tight. “And make it -”

He didn’t make you wait, Joel’s large hands settling on your body - one at the base of your skull, his fingertips disappearing into your hairline, the other at  the small of your back, pulling you flush against his chest. You whined at the contact, closing your eyes, and by the time he fit his mouth over yours, lips parted to draw your lower one between them, you were lost to him, the same way you always were.

Joel kissed you hard, sucking on your lower lip before releasing it and then using his tongue to delve into your mouth - languid strokes of it against yours, his thumb sweeping back and forth over the nape of your neck. He was supporting your weight even though he didn’t need to - the rope ensured that even if you stumbled, knees going weak at the way he was kissing you, you weren’t going anywhere. Not that I’d ever want to. 

After a brief pause to take a much needed breath, you leaned forward to kiss Joel, the tip of your tongue running over the edge of his teeth. He tightened his hold on you - squeezing the back of your neck and bunching the material of your shirt against his palm. You felt his hips pressed to yours - the denim already straining behind his zipper, and you sighed, rocking toward him again and chasing the friction. “Nonea that right now.” He mumbled the words, breaking the kiss and pressing his forehead against yours “How far do you want this to go?” Voice thick, Joel sighed and then cleared his throat, hands still in place. “Because I know how far I’d like to -”

“You’re the one with the hands free, Joel.” Sighing, you kissed his cheek. “Think this is up to you.” 

And I’d let you do anything to me right now. 

---

Tag list coming separately! 

[occasionallythreeowls]

Day Five: Wolf Swap

The Girl in Red cannot for the life of her figure out this strange little creature.

She can hardly believe that this absent-minded little fool shares genetic material with her sorrow-marked siblings, each of them utterly and irreparably bound to the earth.

And then there’s this walking balloon.

She drifts across the field the Girl in Red calls home, delicate fingers tracing the thin veins of wildflower petals. A faint smile on her pale face, like she’s in on some secret.

She doesn’t like when this girl looks at her. Like she understands something about her without either of them saying a word to each other. It reminds her all too much of her sister in white, wise beyond wisdom and distant from this world and every other.

“Hello,” the strange girl says. Her voice is soft, weak. “Are you exploring too?”

The Girl in Red turns up her nose.

“You’re not the fun one.”

“Ginger?” the strange girl asks with another little smile. “Sorry. It’s my turn to go to Grandmother’s house. But I had some time, so I thought I’d check on the flowers.”

Check on the flowers. The Girl in Red fights the urge to feed this little cretin to the Werewolf. She sighs, then cocks her head to one side. Considers. She’s not supposed to see this one. The thing in the lake has already marked this girl. So why is she here? And why can this child, who’s not yet started to truly grow, see her now?

“There’s another girl in the forest,” the strange girl adds after a moment of silence. “She looks a bit like you. Are you sisters?”

She’s all the good parts of me, running away and away and away and I can never catch her hand.

“Yeah. She’s my sister.”

The strange girl smiles even wider. A breeze catches in her hair, causing it to gently sway like weeds in water.

“That’s great! She’s really nice. Does your family have a cottage out here? Our grandmother lives just down the path, at the edge of the woods.”

“We’re here and there,” the Girl in Red replies. “Where we need to be.”

The strange girl frowns.

“I suppose that’s where everyone is,” she says. “Where they need to be. Even when they feel lost.” She looks at the Girl in Red curiously. “Do you ever feel lost?”

Yes.

“No.”

“Oh,” the strange girl says, then smiles sheepishly. “Because I feel pretty lost right now. Know how to get back to the path?”

Follow the light ‘till you find the lake. There’s someone very important there, waiting for you. They’ve been waiting for you for a long, long time.

“Find my sister. She’s got a good sense of direction.”

“I wish I knew this forest better,” the strange girl admits. “This place, it seems like it doesn’t want to be known. Maybe I should respect that.”

You aspire to know so much. That hunger, it’s almost as great as ours.

“It’s a big forest. People who don’t live out here find trouble more than they find anything else. It’s only when you belong here that you start to know everywhere interesting.”

The strange girl’s expression softens.

“If I go to find your sister,” she says, “will you come with me? Maybe we can all play together, or just spend some time. It would be nice.”

I can’t leave this place. None of us can. We just pace and fester and hunger and wait.

“No. I’m not done playing. Have fun with my sister. She likes gentle games.”

The strange girl looks somber for a moment. Then she nods, taking a moment to look up at the patch of sky above them, one of the only ones visible from the forest. Here the light is golden, the sky a deep, lonesome blue. The last of the light is being swallowed up by the long night to come.

“Oh, goodness, it’s almost dark! I need to hurry!” the strange girl says. “Are you sure you’ll be okay by yourself?”

The Girl in Red nods.

“Like I said. I know this place. Even in the dark I know every turn.” She picks a flower and pulls off the petals one by one. “Run along. I’m not yours anyway.”

The strange girl looks confused at her words, but finally relents, and walks away. She turns as the fading light catches in her hair, weaving gold into the black.

“I hope I see you again.”

You’ll be swallowed whole before you’ll ever get that chance, little thing.

The Girl in Red just waves.

[hours2hours]

THE HAWKINS PARADOX: CHAPTER SEVEN

Annie lights her cigarette and passes it to Miles after one long puff. The brain’s stimulation is starting to fade, so I light a joint between my lips. Annie hands me her lighter without a word.

“Not to question your experience, but is weed a good idea right now?” Miles asks.

“Maybe not for some people,” I speak through a mouthful of pretzels. “At this point high is my default state, can’t focus without it.”

“I think that’s called dependency.”

“Respectfully, I think you should can it. You need your smokes, I need mine.”

“Amen,” Annie chuckles and sits up, facing Miles. “Have you never smoked weed before?”

He takes another drag and says. “My dad would murder me if he found out. When he caught me smoking cigarettes for the first time he only let me inside to eat and sleep for weeks.”

“Really?” Annie resumes her relaxed position. “In my household grounding had the opposite effect.”

“That wasn’t close to the worst part. My Dad can act overprotective to say the least.” Another, longer drag.

Annie shrugs, “No offense, but you dad seems like a dick.”

“He has his moments I guess. He’s gone through a lot in the last few years, so I understand where he’s coming from, at least. Now he’s all the family I have left.”

I peer back through the binoculars, barely emerging above the tall grass. Still that one light on.

“So let me get this straight,” Annie says. “You’ll hang out with us, watch us torture some kid and get involved with dog-killers and drug dealers, not to mention help bust into a restauraunt. But pot is what’s gonna send your dad over the edge?”

“It's different, I can justify this to myself.” He puts out the cigarette and puts it in his pocket before taking another one.

“You’ve got a weird moral compass man,” I say.

Finally the light flicks off, and after two minutes a silhouetted figure opens and exits the front door. I nudge Annie and hand her the binoculars.

“We should wait a minute or two longer to make sure they’re gone.” I face Miles, trying to detect in his face if he’s still doing alright. “You ready?”

“In a sec.” He inhales about a quarter of the cigarette before exhaling. “Okay, I should be good. What are we gonna do if this place has a security system?”

Eyes laser focused on the diner, Annie replies. “They don’t have anything obvious, I’m guessing they spent their security budget on that camera.”

I slip my backpack over my shoulders and slide the bandana up my face. Miles and Annie both place theirs and huddle close in the grass. “Go time,” I whisper.

Even when we’re close we stay low, these are the worst times to get careless. When you’re so excited to start, legs bouncing and blood pumping with anticipation, it can easily get to your head if you’re not careful. During one of our first B&E’s, Annie was seen running up to the back door by the shop owner who hadn’t left like we thought. If I hadn’t grabbed Annie and ran we’d have been caught for sure, since Annie froze like a deer in headlights.

“Miles, are you coming or what?” Annie says. Breaking my focus, I didn’t realize Miles had stopped moving several feet back. He stands still, staring back into the darkness.

“I thought I saw something behind us,” he doesn’t look in our direction but he slowly starts again. After he’s caught up, Annie and I scan the grass for anyone, but there’s nothing we can see. Just to stay on the safe side we backtrack a little, checking the tunnel and grassy area surrounding it, but there’s no one. My ears perk up at the sound of creaking trees. Something I’ve heard all the time and never paid mind to, now sends goosebumps up my arm. Even if there was someone hiding, the blowing grass wouldn't be able to hide them. Maybe someone could have snuck into the tunnel, but Miles seeing things again seems a little more reasonable.

“It was nothing, sorry.”

“We’d rather you say somethin’ if you even suspect someone is followin’ us. Can never be too careful.” I pat him hard on the shoulder.

Miles mumbles something like a “thanks” but he doesn’t seem very proud. More likely it’s his nerves getting to him, and that damn video still. Annie shrugs it off and keeps moving.

We approach the fence from a steep angle, remaining in the camera’s blind spots. Lucky for us, the camera is perched in a high spot, above the fence and just under the shadow of the roof. It’s invisible in the dark aside from the blinking red LED. I hand Annie a medium sized rock, she knows without words that I trust her throwing arm. I’ve seen her pitch a baseball countless times and in a few unfortunate instances, felt it too. She readies herself with the rock at her hip, then smashes the thing to bits in one clean hit.

When the camera is safely dead, I toss my bag over the fence.

“Climbed many fences before, Miles?” Annie asks.

He laughs nervously, “Not exactly.” But starts digging his large feet through the slots anyway. As the shortest guy in every class since fourth grade, the climbing part of the job has never been an issue. What I lack in physical strength I make up for in agility. If I need something broken, that’s usually what Annie’s for, though from the looks of it Miles could handle some brute force if needed. He must work out with arms that big.

Focus Joel, Jesus.

Miles awkwardly swings a leg over the fence, wobbling more and more while trying to balance himself.

“Got it?” I whisper.

“I’m good,” he answers. Annie effortlessly drops to the other side, kicking aside the broken camera. Miles tries to mimic her movements, but his pants snag on the top causing him to trip, until the jeans tear and throw Miles at the concrete with a thud. 

“Miles!” I exclaim before physically shutting my own mouth. Annie squats next to him. “Shit, are you okay?” He groans and pushes his body off the ground.

I quickly hop the fence and bend down at his side, helping him up with a hand. His mask cracked from the impact, now the top corner is missing where his head hit the ground. “I’m ok. You don’t think anyone heard me do you?”

“C’mon, that’s not what I’m worried about,” I say. “You sure you didn’t break anything?”

“No one else should be within a kilometer,” Annie adds. “It’s fine. I’m more worried about Joel screaming.”

“No, I think I’m alright, let’s just do this.” He dusts off his hoodie and jeans, head held in his hand.

Annie shoves a gift card into the slit in the door moving up down, back and forth.

“You sure you’re good?” I whisper.

“No, but I probably don’t have a concussion, so whatever.” I move his hair to the side and check his head, just some rocks and dirt to dust off. Still I feel around for a bump, just in case.

“Not feelin’ dizzy or anything?”

“No, but I appreciate the concern.” 

The door clicks open, “Aha!” Seems she was right about the lack of security measures, but everything else is so cheap it comes as no surprise. The kitchen reeks of spoiled milk and expired meats. Every pot, pan, cooking utensil and stove element is charred and beaten, dropped daily and cleaned once a year by the look of it. The heat of the kitchen has sealed itself inside with the added warmth of the summer night. Sweat already beads on my forehead.

“Yikes,” Miles remarks.

“After we rob these people I’m calling a health inspector,” Annie adds.

“Now where do we find our footage, any ideas?” I ask.

“The camera out there looked relatively new. Probably stores its footage on a nearby PC,” Miles whispers.

“Probably the manager’s office,” I pace towards the front desk. “I think Wendy went down this way.” We turn down a narrow hallway with three doors and a disgusting moldy wallpaper. The door labeled Management is a small office with hundreds of papers covering the countertop and floor, with a nice laptop sitting on top. The only room that doesn’t reek with rot.

We both stare at Miles for a second. “What?” He asks.

“You’re the tech guy now,” Annie replies.

“Because I know how Wi-Fi works?”

“Yeah,” she steps into the dusty room. “I’ve never used a computer aside from school, and Joel doesn’t even do that.”

Miles sighs, “Alright, you have a thumb drive or something?” He raises an eyebrow and approaches Annie, who stares through the blinds motionless. “Annie?”

Miles and I approach cautiously, slowly meeting the point of interest with gut-twisting fear. Sirens.

[cainache]

she’s a quiet thing ♱ eddie munson

It was the smell of coconut and weed that had your head feeling all fuzzy and warm. You might as well been on fire with how heavy the smell felt, despite your body laying on your cold bathroom tile flooring. White frilly socks covered your feet, and they were kicked up onto a closed toilet lid. Your moon eyes were closed and hiding from the world, hiding from Eddie.

He seem to notice. Your silence gave you away. More quiet than usual.

Eddie was taking cover in your tub. His hairs thrown up in a low bun, the front pieces are damp and stuck to his skin. And his scars and tattoos on full display and it makes him feel a little too seen. And yeah, you weren’t looking at him, but still. He wasn’t really sure why he suddenly care, you were his best friend. You both had seen each other, why was now any different?

Because you’re so quiet. Worse than usual. That ticked a nerve in his chest.

His half dry fingers held a joint, and his wrist nearly hung off the tubs edge. The waters almost too warm for his skin. Smoke passes his lips like song lyrics being told. “You okay, love?” His voice frightens you and the silence, your eyes flinch open and you have to crane your neck a little to see his full face. The pale moon face of his lolled against the bathroom wall to look down at you. “Really quiet today.”

His voice is gently and raspy all at once.

You shrug gently against the floor tiles, fingertips tapping at your clothed stomach. It’s too late and your mother should be home soon from her shift at the hospital, but no one makes an effort to move. She’s starting to warm up to the town’s freak anyway. “I think I forget to speak sometimes.”

Eddie blows a final blow. You feel like you can feel it on your face. He shuffles a little, bubbly water moves around him as he leans, putting out the joint into a heart made tray by your head. He smells like coconuts and honey, like you normally do. “Thought we said that was okay. S’just who you are. There’s nothin’ wrong with that.”

Your eyes move to the boy. “I don’t think everyone thinks that, though.” And that’s why you’re even more quiet, he understands it now, someone did something. The boy raises a brow, “something happen today?”

You shrug again. “It’s what didn’t happen.”

Suddenly you’re sitting up, pushing yourself closer to the tub as the blood rushes from your head. Little stars in your eyes. “The girls today, all talking at lunch about what to do for Chrissy’s birthday. It’s a surprise party, and I was the one who came up with the idea awhile back. And today we’re finally talking about it, and everyone’s putting ideas in. Heather’s writing them down, it’s sweet of her. And I just can’t seem to get anything out. I try to open my mouth, and nothing! My head just wont let me speak, everything I want to say is stupid..”

The boy smiles gently, one dimple. He looks so pretty like that. “Did anyone ask you anything?”

“No. That’s the thing, no one forced anything out of me. But I could see it on their faces, disappointing. They wanted me to help out and I did too! But.. I just couldn’t say anything. I know they all forgot about it after lunch, but it was bothering me. It still is.”

Eddie leans forward in the tub, fingers creased with age because of his time in the warm water that’s fading cold. He let’s the water drain, bubbles leaving his skin. “Maybe you should write down some of those thoughts. Are we feeling that today?”

You push up from the floor gently, taking a seat on top of the counter as Eddie pulls himself from the tub. Your eyes flicker to the tattoos on his thighs, eyes tracing the dark lines and the placement of the ink makes your cheeks burn. Eddie acts like he doesn’t notice your staring, or how it makes his insides white hot. Maybe you should tell him he makes you feel better, but you don’t really like to speak on that so boldly.

A towel comes around him. His eyes fall on yours and you’re shrugging, again. “I guess I could try.” Eddie smiles gently at your words, coming to stand between your legs. His pinkie drags over the slope of your nose, “I’ll get your pink glitter pen.”

You can’t help and laugh all sugary sweet, he loves that noise and he already knows there’s progress being made with your dampened mood.

And when your mother does get home, tiredness in her eyes, she finds you and Eddie at the dining table. You’re sitting on his lap, eyes glued to a notepad with a pink glitter pen in your hand— writing away. Eddie’s sipping gently on a glass of chocolate milk, the TV is playing past the table. He beams at your mother, and she’s all sweet and grateful because she just knows it’s been another one of those days for you.

But Eddie Munson just seems to know how to make everything better, even when he’s not better himself.. all scars and tattoos. But, that’s a story for another day.

[kpostedsum]

high | d.m

summary: you find an unhealthy way of coping after draco cheats on you

warnings: drug use (marijuana) angsty¿, cheating, illusions to sex

song: habits - tove lo

a/n: this fic isn’t meant to romanticize drug use in any way. i also know nothing abt weed so LOL and very rushed & not edited

masterlist | taglist

I eat my dinner in my bathtub

Then I go to sexclubs

Watching freaky people gettin' it on

It doesn't make me nervous

If anything I'm restless

Yeah, I've been around and I've seen it all

you had a few minutes left of your charms class which was your last class before the weekend. you wanted nothing more than to get out of here and cuddle up with your boyfriend— who was enjoying his free period right now.

draco was one of the best boyfriends you could ask for, the frequent dates, gifts, and attention— it was more than you could wish for.

“you’re excused. you essays are due at the beginning of next week” snapes monotone voice dragged on as you quickly packed up your things and made your way to the slytherin common room.

I get home, I got the munchies

Binge on all my Twinkies

Throw up in the tub

Then I go to sleep

And I drank up all my money

Days get kinda lonely

entering the slytherin common room your eyes immediately searched for a certain blond boy, yet he was nowhere to be found. you made your way to the boys dorms in hopes of finding him there but you’re quickly interrupted by two familiar voices.

“why hello y/n, marvellous weather we’re having today aren’t we?” theo asked looking towards the ceiling and smiling as if he were outside, blaise blocking your path as he did so.

“i’m not sure what weather you’re talking about since we’re inside but i am okay thank you” you responded with a chuckle, trying to make your way past blaise.

“wait y/n” he stopped you. “can i borrow the astronomy notes? i would ask luna but i can’t find her anywhere” blaise continued.

they both seemed awfully on edge and anxious, you figured it was just quidditch nerves getting to them since there was an upcoming game this week.

“i have yet to finish my astronomy notes, but i did see luna in the great hall if you want her notes. now if you’d excuse me i’d like to see draco” you said trying to push past the two boys who still wouldn’t let you through.

“forget malfoy! let’s do something instead, we’re so much more fun than him, right blaise?” theo said giving blaise a pointed look as he threw his arm around your shoulder.

“right you are nott, let’s go!” blaise continued also throwing his arm around your shoulder and leading you away from the boys dorm.

“what? no, i have plans with draco. now excuse me” you said pushing them both off and heading towards dracos door.

as you get closer to his door you can hear heavy breathing, pants and skin slapping on skin. you’re confused, you figured draco would be taking a nap or running over drills for quidditch practice. the closer you get, the louder the noises become.

“pans, you feel so good”

you recognize that voice anywhere.

You're gone and I gotta stay

High all the time

To keep you off my mind

Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

High all the time

To keep you off my mind

Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

quickly you turned your head towards blaise and theo who had their heads lowered in shame, refusing to meet your gaze. “is this some kind of sick joke, are you guys pulling a prank or something because this isn’t funny” you said seriously not wanting to believe what you’re hearing from inside of your boyfriends dorm.

“we’re sorry, we tried to convince him not too but he wouldn’t listen” theo muttered silently.

it felt like your world was breaking apart slowly. just not too long ago you were excited to spend a weekend with your boyfriend who you loved so dearly, the same boyfriend who you’ve been dating for years, the same boyfriend who gets jealous about how much time you spend with his mum rather than him.

with shaky fingers you put your hand on the door knob and quickly pushed the door open, already preparing for the worst.

there he was, wrapped up with parkinson in the same bed you two shared not even twenty-four hours ago. her body straddling his naked, just like yours was doing the night before. you stood there frozen, mouth agape— not even knowing what to do with yourself.

“baby, i can explain, just please— y/n please don’t leave” draco said pushing pansy off of him, shuffling on his pants and reaching out towards you.

“dont touch me, malfoy!” you yelled and everyone froze. “you lost the right to touch me the minute you even thought of touching her” you continued sending both him and pansy a glare with tears threatening to slip from your eyes.

“darling please, i can explain—”

“no draco, we’re done just leave me alone, please” your voice cracking at the end as you pushed past blaise and theo rushing towards the girls dormitory.

Spend my days locked in a haze

Trying to forget you babe

I fall back down

Gotta stay high all my life

To forget I'm missing you

Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

it’s been days since you last left your room, days since you last saw draco. daphne would come by and check on you but you’d always dismiss her, wanting to be alone. regret is one word to describe how you’ve been feeling— you gave him everything and he threw it away so carelessly for a quick hook up.

you missed waking up against his smooth skin in his embrace, tracing the lines and scars across his porcelain skin as you waited for him to wake up, the way he’d try to kiss you in the morning without brushing his teeth and you wouldn’t let him because of morning breath— but he’d still do it anyways.

you missed him, but he didn’t want you anymore.

maybe it was something you’ve done, you’ve been quite busy with work recently so you haven’t been spending as much time with him as normal. he was probably lonely and trying to seek the attention you lacked to give him.

getting up, you stared at yourself in the mirror picking yourself apart. you were pretty, it was a well known fact around hogwarts, maybe he thought she was prettier. she was the life of the party and always up for some mischief whereas you preferred to do stuff in silence and would rather be with a small group of people. maybe he liked how exciting she was in comparison to you, she probably brought a spark of excitement to his life that you couldn’t.

dreading to feel something you quickly showered and got ready to leave your room hoping to run into a specific set of twins.

Pick up daddies at the playground

How I spend my daytime

Loosen up the frown,

Make them feel alive

I'll make it fast and greasy

I'm on my way to easy

“well what can we do for you today” fred said to you with a cheeky smile plastered across his face.

“do you have any muggle herb left?” you asked in a low voice making sure no one heard you.

“maybe we do, maybe we don’t” george said. “how much are you offering in exchange though” he continued.

“ten galleons for three ounces, is that enough” you said pulling the galleons out of your pockets and placing them in george’s palm.

“it was a pleasure doing business with you” they said in unison as fred placed the tiny baggie in your pocket so no one would see.

once you returned to your dormitory you quickly pulled out the pre-rolled muggle herb, lit it and let yourself forget.

You're gone and I gotta stay

High all the time

To keep you off my mind

Spend my days locked in a haze

Trying to forget you babe

I fall back down

Gotta stay high all my life

To forget I'm missing you

you started showing up to class late with red tired eyes, not caring about the looks you got. at this point every one knew what had happened but you couldn’t bring yourself to care.

the muggle herb brought you a sense of bliss and freedom, a new feeling you haven’t felt before but something that you now craved.

“are you high right now?” draco said as he sat himself in the seat beside you.

“since when do you care about what i’m doing” you said sharply, not wanting to talk with him.

“love, you don’t smoke. who gave that stuff to you, i’ll kill them—”

“no you won’t.” you said turning towards him. “you won’t do any of that because you don’t own me and i’m not your girlfriend anymore. so mind your business malfoy, i’m sure parkinson’s waiting for you”

the rest of the class you both sat in silence working on potions that draco did most of since you weren’t in the correct mind state and he wasn’t willing to let his mark falter over your slip up.

you find it amazing how even when you’re on drugs he still looks amazing. the way his nose curves perfectly with a slight bump, and the way his hands move with caution as he pours the potion into the waste bucket.

“look, i’m sorry for what happened with pansy. it didn’t mean anything i swear, i don’t know why i did it but i regret it with my life” draco said breaking your thoughts, he looked older than normal and had dark circles underneath his under eyes. you wondered why he looked so distraught when he wasn’t the one who got cheated on.

“a sorry isn’t going to fix this draco” you told him. he knew you were right but he didn’t want to admit it. he hadn’t talked to pansy since the day you walked in on them, the guilt has been eating him up inside. he stayed silent and didn’t bother respond to you, he knew anything he said would have made the situation worst than it already is— but how he wished you were still his sweet y/n.

“now if you excuse me, i have some fun to attend too” you said leaving him alone as you made your way back to your dorm.

Staying in my play pretend

Where the fun, it got no end

Can't go home alone again

Need someone to numb the pain

You're gone and I gotta stay

High all the time

To keep you off my mind

over the last few weeks, you couldn’t remember the last time you were sober. you started skipping classes to smoke and avoiding your friends so they’d stop questioning your habits.

you were forgetting and that’s all that mattered, you didn’t care how it was affecting your health— it made you feel better. sometimes you wished there was another way, another way to forget how he held you at night pressing soft kisses to your skin, another way to forget the way he took pansy the same way he took you. you wonder if he feels as sorry as he looks, he’s the one who cheated so he can’t possibly care that much.

you hear two knocks at your door which quickly break you from your state making you more attentive, cleaning yourself up and opening the door. there stood draco— his eyes red as well, like hes been crying.

“y/n listen, i know what i did was wrong and that i tried to pretend it wasn’t me but please. i didn’t mean too, you mean the world to me. i miss you so much love.” he pleaded with you.

“y’know draco, i miss you too” you admitted. “but i’ve found a way to forget about you, maybe you should do the same”.

Gotta stay high all my life

To forget I'm missing you

-

taglist: @mauvea @teenwolfbitches28 @ilygw @nic0lodean @s1ater @henqtic @justreadingficsdontmindme @i-love-scott-mccall @harmqnia @gwlvr @alishahpotter

[jackrrabbit]

cooking at 3am /// Osamu x f!Reader

Request: Imagine cooking together with Osamu at 3am because neither of you could sleep (or because ‘Samu got the midnight munchies lol). You don’t have anything specific in mind; you’re just playing around and feeding each other little bits of what you make.

A/N: bruh you said munchies and my mind said [[ h i g h o s a m u ]] sorry this went in a kinda different direction? but still fun 3am cooking project vibes :P

Tag/warnings: fluff, light drug use (weed), you and Atsumu are lowkey Bros™️, Osamu's kinda baby 🤧

Osamu’s not good at smoking.

He doesn’t really know how to inhale—you know, hold it in his lungs so it can soak in or whatever—and when he does, he coughs. Except he tries to repress the coughs. Even if he wants to hide it, he’s always close enough to you that you can feel his chest moving from trying not to cough when he takes a hit.

And also, like every baby smoker, he can’t really tell when it’s kicking in until he’s off the deep end.

“Can you feel it yet?”

“No.”

You shoot Osamu a glance where he’s sitting on the ground in front of the couch, watching a nature documentary on Atsumu’s TV with a glazed-over look on his face. “You sure? Your eyes are super red.”

“I can’t feel it. Give it—“ He holds out his hand and honestly you’re pretty sure he’s had plenty, but it’s Atsumu’s vape so who cares. You hand it over and Osamu holds it up to his mouth and sucks, eyes fluttering closed as the light on the side of the Pax glows yellow.

God, he looks hot when he does that. Something about a hot guy smoking, yeah? Actually, no. Something about your hot boyfriend smoking.

Except 'Samu holds his breath a second too long and you can see the urge to cough hit him… Wait for it, you think to yourself, and a second later he hacks and wheezes the vapor out in a wispy cloud that reflects silver against the semi-dark. You coo in sympathy and pat his back. “Want some water?”

Osamu shakes his head, hand over his mouth to stop the coughing. On the tv, David Attenborough talks about penguin courtship rituals and Atsumu (who’s been draped on the couch next to you for the past few hours) gives a light little sigh in his sleep. You check the time. 3am. Bedtime. Too bad you and 'Samu are both too high to drive home…whoops. Guess you’re spending the night at Atsumu’s place.

Osamu rubs his bloodshot eyes like they’re itchy, which they probably are. “Hey, can we— uhh… Do we have pancakes.”

“Pancakes, babe? You mean the ones you made for breakfast?”

“Yeah, there’s leftovers…I made you extra and you didn’t want them.” He twists around and gives you an incredibly dirty look, like this is something you did on purpose to hurt his feelings. “If you don’t want them I’m going to eat them.”

“Wait, 'Samu—“ But Osamu's already getting up off the floor to wander over to the next room. You debate pausing the show—it’s a really good scene—but you leave it going for Atsumu's sake because you’re pretty sure the narration is the only thing keeping him asleep. He’s kinda drooling on your shoulder and you have to push him off to go follow your boyfriend to the kitchen.

“What is all this stuff? Ugh…” Osamu's pawing through the fridge. There’s a lot of crinkling, plastic sounds—you catch a glimpse inside and all of the shelves are stacked up with plastic bags and styrofoam containers.

You yawn and hop up to sit on the kitchen island. “Takeout? I don’t think he cooks.” Atsumu's going to get a lecture tomorrow for keeping 2-week-old Indian food in his fridge. God knows you heard it way too many times before you and Osamu moved in together. You don’t envy 'Tsumu.

Osamu sits down in front of the fridge, fumbles with a drawer, and pulls out a bag of moldy grapes. “Gross…who lives like this…”

You snicker into your hand.

“I can’t find the pancakes.” 'Samu's pulling the plastic drawers all the way out now, setting them down on the floor as he inspects the contents of the fridge.

“They’re not here.”

“You ate them?”

“No, I— Hey, put those back in,” you tell him helplessly as he shuts the door of the fridge, ignoring all the leftover food he took out. Yeah, half of it was probably off anyway, but Atsumu's gonna be pissed if he wakes up and there’s takeout going bad all over his kitchen floor.

“You threw away my pancakes?” Now the look on Osamu's face is utter betrayal. He stands up off the floor and glares sulkily at you. “I made those for you…”

“I didn’t throw them away, they’re—“ You hold back a laugh and wish you had your phone on you (where did it go?) so you could take a picture. He’s so cute when he smokes. “—they’re at home.”

“At home?”

“Yep, at home. The place where you and me live, remember?”

“Oh.” Osamu pauses, reaches out absently to grab the edge of your sleeve. You’re wearing one of his hoodies. “We’re not at home?”

“Nope. We’re at Atsumu's place,” you tell him through a giggle.

He plays with your sleeve, contemplating. “Why?”

“Because we’re out of weed and he said he’d smoke us out. And we like hanging out with him.”

“Oh. We do?”

“Yes.”

“…’Kay.” It takes Osamu a second to accept this, but then he nods seriously. “(Y/N), I'm hungry.”

“I know. What do you want to eat? You could probably have any of that stuff, I don’t think he’ll miss it.”

'Samu thinks about it for a moment, scanning the array of takeout containers spread out across the kitchen floor. “I want pancakes.”

“The pancakes are at home, remember?”

“Yeah…” Osamu flips over his grip on your sleeve and traces his thumb down the lines in your palm. “I could make some?”

More pancakes? “I don’t think 'Tsumu has eggs, babe. Or flour. Or…baking soda?” You’re not really sure what ingredients go into pancakes. Whatever cooking skills you possessed pre-Osamu have deteriorated significantly since you moved in together and he took over any and all food preparation for your household.

He pouts at this, and his hair is a little messed up, and he’s so pretty that you can’t stand how much you like him in that second. Mine mine mine, something in the back of your brain says. He’s mine.

You reach up and Osamu obediently ducks his head down so you can smooth his hair back into place and fix the bits that are flipping over his part. “Is there anything else you want to eat?”

“Onigiri.”

“Oh…” Well, at least Atsumu probably has rice. “Sure. Ok. That’s your specialty.”

“I want ya to make it for me.”

“What?” You frown and pull your hand out of his. “You know my cooking sucks.”

“No it doesn’t. (Y/N)’s food’s the best.”

“You own an onigiri shop, come on—“

“Please?”

One of his bangs falls back in his eyes and without thinking you reach up to put it in place. “Okay, fine. But you can’t complain about it if it’s not good.”

He smiles and you want to blush. “Yes! I promise.”

So you do it for him. Even though you’re high too. You measure some rice and water into the rice cooker (Osamu has to give you pointers on how much of each to put in) and you scrounge around Atsumu's depressingly bare kitchen for a few sheets of seaweed and some easy fillings. Osamu pulls a stool up to the island counter and rests his chin on his hands so he can watch you with a bleary look of adoration on his face.

It takes you…maybe half an hour to be done? It’s hard to gauge time when you’re high. You and 'Samu both jump when the rice cooker finishes and plays the little rice cooker song, which will remain stuck in your head for the foreseeable future. 'Samu hums it in a loop while you shape the rice into lopsided triangles and wrap the nori around it.

“Here,” you tell him when you set the plate down in front of him. He looks entirely too happy to be eating your mediocre food for someone who literally does this for a living, but who cares.

He picks one, takes a bite, swallows. And blinks.

“What do you think?” you ask in spite of yourself.

“Umm…salty,” Osamu says.

You grab one to try yourself and it’s salty. Like, ocean salty. Yuck. “I told you it would be bad,” you complain, trying to tug the plate away but Osamu grabs it and pulls it back.

“Noooo…it’s good,” he lies, although his face is giving him away. Still, he takes another bite and chews enthusiastically.

“Shut up.” You tug a little harder but Osamu doesn’t let go.

He swallows, pulls a face, and takes another one. “So good. I love it.”

“Shut up. You sound so fake. You’re going to get sick if you eat that.” You keep pulling, but he insists on pretending it’s edible so you admit defeat and help him finish the onigiri off. God, they’re awful. But he keeps eating and so you do too.

When you’re done, your mouth feels dry as fuck and you want to sleep almost as much as you want to drink about a gallon of water. “Is it bedtime yet?” 'Samu asks, wiping his mouth and then rubbing his eyes again.

The clock over the oven says it’s past 4. “Yes. It’s bedtime.”

“Wait—we’re…we’re not at home, right? We’re at 'Tsumu's?”

“Mhm.”

“I prolly drove here…I dunno if I can drive now,” Osamu tells you slowly, like he’s apologizing. “I think I'm kinda high.”

“Oh yeah?” You hold your laugh back and put your hands up on his cheeks. “How do you feel?”

“Dizzy. Blurry? Like…you’re in slow-motion.” His hands come up to layer over yours. “You’re pretty in slow-mo.”

“Prettier than usual?”

Osamu closes his eyes, scrunching them up to think and then looking over your face intently. “Same amount, just slower. So it’s easier to see.”

“That so?” You slip your hands around to drape over his shoulders and get up on your tiptoes to give him a little kiss on the cheek, because he’s earned it. “You know what, I think I'm kinda high too. I think we’re going to have to have a sleepover.”

“On the couch? S’not big enough for us both.”

“You can sleep with 'Tsumu in his bed…or I guess you could sleep on the ground?”

'Samu's mouth twists and his brows draw together. You can practically hear the gears in his mind turning while he considers alternatives. “Can we share the bed?”

“I think Atsumu's gonna want it. It’s his house.”

“But he’s already sleeping.”

True, you can hear Atsumu snoring lightly from the living room underneath David Attenborough’s description of endangered falcons in the Philippine rainforest. You should really wake him up—matter of fact, you should really clean up the kitchen because it’s a huge mess—but 'Samu's already pulling you away. And you’re so sleepy.

“He’s going to be pissed tomorrow,” you tell Osamu through a yawn, but you let him steer you in the direction of Atsumu's bedroom, holding your hand.

“Don’t care…I hate sleeping without you.”

“Yeah,” you say, and you squeeze his hand and he looks back at you like you’re the literal best thing in the entire universe—and you decide you should get him high more often. “Same.”

[avalonsrealm]

feeling unknown and you’re all alone (flesh and bone)

(welcome back to the his dark materials au, we’re comin in with a classic

title from personal jesus by depeche mode)

The incessant ringing of the doorbell is what pulls Steve out of his weed-induced stupor. Mostly, at least.

Enough to give him the foresight to stumble into a pair of running shorts and shout a “COMING!!!” as he races down the stairs, Castellan soaring in lazy circles above him. She chitters with quiet laughter when he slips on the hardwood in his socks, and he gives a half-hearted glare in her direction before yanking the door open.

The snappish “What?” dies on his lips before he can even get it all out when he sees who’s at the door.

It’s Billy. Vega’s wound around his legs like a protective barrier, her lips curled in a silent snarl that she can’t quite seem to shake. Billy just looks exhausted. And bruised and sore and Steve is nervous about what he’ll find elsewhere if Billy’s face looks like that.

Steve sobers up real quick.

Castellan lights on his shoulder and chitters, her head tilting to one side as she takes in the sight of the two of them, and without even saying anything, Steve is stepping aside to make space for Billy and Vega to enter his house.

The first thing Billy says once they’re inside is, “Got anymore of that weed, Harrington?”

Steve rolls his eyes, but there’s no heat behind it.

“’Course I do, Hargrove. Though I thought we’d be onto first names after last week.”

It’s a joke, but when Billy doesn’t say anything, and Steve sees the tension in his jaw, he backs off.

“Sorry. I’ll be back in a second. There’s a bathroom down the hall to your left - you’ll find anything you might need in the cabinet beneath the sink.”

He tries to do Billy the service of not mentioning how he looks. Give him the space to take care of himself quietly and privately. So he scurries towards the stairs and hustles his way up to his bedroom, grabs his little baggie of weed, his rolling papers and lighter and makes for the door. He doubles back almost instant and roots around in his closet for a pair of gym shorts and a t shirt that he hopes will fit Billy so he can get out of his bloodstained shirt and jeans in order to buy a little more time.

You have to go back down eventually, Castellan points out. She’s perched in her usual place on the headboard, her head swiveling back and forth as she watches Steve. Quit pacing, you’ll make me motion sick.

“You’re a bird, Cas,” Steve huffs. “You don’t get motion sick.”

Castellan clacks her beak together sharply and puffs out her feathers, and then she’s taking wing again and coasting out of the room and downstairs without another word.

“Fuckin’ birdbrain,” Steve mutters. He’s forced to follow her before she can get too far, to avoid the tug in his gut that means she’s pushing the limits of their bond.

Once he’s downstairs, she’s giving him a triumphant look from where she rests on the perch by the kitchen counter that was technically installed for his mother’s flashy cockatiel, but he’s never here to use it anyway. Billy and Vega are still in the bathroom, so Steve sets about meticulously grinding more weed for Billy, and rolling him a joint. He’s just licking the edge of the paper to seal it shut when the two emerge from the downstairs bathroom.

Billy’s got a couple BandAids on some deeper cuts on his face, and his curls are damp and his face is free of the dried blood that had crusted under his nose.

“Shit better be good, Harrington, I need it.”

“I wouldn’t be smoking it if it was bad, Hargrove,” Steve retorts, handing Billy both the joint and the lighter. Billy wastes no time in lighting up and taking a deep inhale, filling his lungs to capacity before exhaling a thick cloud of smoke. His eyes are closed as he takes his first pull and Steve can’t really tear his eyes away from the long line of Billy’s throat, or the way his cheeks hollow a little as he breathes in. He takes the moment to scan over the cuts and bruises over Billy’s face, noting which ones appear older and have new bruises overlapping them.

Steve’s belly fills with fire, one that Castellan mirrors. He can see the fury in her usually warm golden gaze, in the way she shifts from foot to foot on her perch, rustling her mottled gold-brown feathers as they start to puff up again. She flits down from her perch and hops across the kitchen counter to stand between the two boys, her eyes on both of them. Nudging her head against Steve’s hand, she nips gently at his fingers to reassure him before lofting down off the counter and onto the floor to approach Vega, who’s been laying on the ground, eyes closed but ears up, listening for any sign of danger. Her eyes open as Castellan lands, and her ears swivel forward.

Billy’s eyes open now, too, and Steve has turned his gaze away from him, not wanting to get caught. He doesn’t want to put Billy on higher alert than he already is. Both boys have their eyes turned toward their daemons, curious to see what’s about to happen for different reasons. Steve watches as his own soul approaches Billy’s. Vega had saved Castellan’s life just a week ago in the tunnels beneath Hawkins. Neither of them have forgotten that.

Now, Castellan tucks her wings neatly against her sides, having landed a comfortable distance away from Vega. She’s far enough away that if Vega startles, she’s out of reach, which also means that she’s too far away to pose any danger to Vega or make her feel cornered. Steve’s head is tilted to the side as he watches them, barely blinking. Castellan chitters softly at Vega, clacking her beak, shifting her weight from foot to foot as the two daemons regard each other.

After several long minutes of the two communicating with each other in the ways that only daemons can communicate, Castellan hops forward once. Vega shifts from her position, lifting her head and yawning wide, both paws stretched forward. Steve doesn’t realize he’s holding his breath, and Billy tenses momentarily across the counter from him. But Castellan hops forward once more, gingerly stepping up onto one of Vega’s strong forelegs and she stretches herself up to meet Vega, who lowers her head and touches her nose to Castellan’s beak before giving her head a small, curious lick.

Castellan looks back at Steve triumphantly. Steve’s heart sings.

They’re just scared, she says, moving away from Vega now to give her space.

Steve looks at Billy now, finally. The joint has been slowly burning down between Billy’s fingers, forgotten. The blonde finally tears his eyes away from his own daemon and Steve feels as though Billy sees right into the very heart of him when he fixes that blue gaze on him.

He clears his throat, if only for something to do, to distract himself.

“You guys are welcome to stay here. We won’t tell anyone you were here if you don’t want us to.” He pushes the little bundle of clothes he’d dug up towards Billy. “You can use the guest room down here. My parents are gonna be gone for a while, so -”

He realizes he’s rambling. And Billy hasn’t stopped staring. And Steve doesn’t realize how tense he is until Castellan brushes against his arm and he nearly jumps out of his skin at the same time that Billy takes the bundle of clothes and pulls it closer to himself.

“You got good weed, Harrington. Throw a beer and some food into that offer and you got yourself a deal.”

Steve can’t help the grin that creeps over his face. He’ll blame it on the weed he’d smoked earlier. There’s a six pack in his fridge that’s been there for probably a little bit too long, and an entire box of pizza from when he smoked way too much yesterday and ended up ordering two larges for himself.

“Yeah,” he says. “We can make that work.”

“Good.”

Billy saunters off to the bathroom to change and Steve gets dinner set up. And if later, when they’re blazed outta their minds, and Billy’s nearing sleep on the couch and Steve hears a soft little, “Maybe you’re not so bad Stevie,” Steve doesn’t say anything about it, no matter how much it makes him glow.

They can blame it on the weed.

[jimlingss]

I really enjoyed reading your fic fall in hatred with jin and liked the concept of a couple on the verge of a divorce. I thought I’d make a request for an angsty marriage/divorce au with another member like jk but it ends fluffy🥺

Whether you take this request or not, I wanted to say that you’re a great writer and I always love reading your stories 💜

↳ Honeymoon Horrors

3.7k || 55% Angst, 45% Fluff || Min Yoongi || Divorce!AU

It was great when it started.   Cloud nine had descended down and made its home above both your heads. You were practically floating, swooning, living a romance that Nicholas Sparks would’ve envied. You felt like you were on a permanent high as if weed and cocaine was permanently stuck in your system. You had reached enlightenment and you were permanently euphoric. How could you not be?   You had met your soulmate after all.   But as the years passed, it came tumbling down. Cloud nine started to rain. You swooned so hard that you struck your head against the edge of the kitchen counter. Instead of floating, you were getting dragged down to hell and the high you felt turned into a crash. Most importantly, you became enraged.   And you’re still mad now.   When you watch your wedding videos, all you can do is throw popcorn at the screen and scream at the grinning bitch that she’s making the worst mistake of her life.    Life’s full of plot twists, isn’t it?   And you can only chuckle at that realization now. Because what was meant to be the honeymoon you never had, a replacement honeymoon of sorts, is turning out to be a nightmare.   “Hey. Can you move?”   You rip off your headphones. “Excuse me?”   “You’re taking up all of the space.” Yoongi stares at you lazily. “This is supposed to be my armrest.”   “No. This is mine. That’s yours.”   “No. Yours is next to the window. This one is supposed to be mine. If you’re that uncomfortable, you should’ve just given me the window seat.”   You scoff and shove his arm off the armrest with your own. The half-offended, half-amused expression on Yoongi’s face is utterly stupid. It’s as if he’s judging you for being childish when he was the one who started this. You wish you could punch him square in the nose. “If you want me to move, then why don’t you move your legs? You’re taking up all the leg room!”   “You’re only out of space because you had to put your purse under the seat.”   “Where else am I supposed to put my purse?!”   “Do you see me carrying a purse?”   Suddenly, there’s a clearing of the throat. A female flight attendant is standing at the aisle and leaning over while wearing a perfectly, cordial smile. “Is there a problem over here?”   Your eyes narrow into the nosy bitch sitting across the aisle who probably tattled. You saw her looking in the corner of her eye from the very start.    “No. Not at all.”   Yoongi smiles easily. “We’re fine.”   There’s an urge to roll your eyes.    In all honesty, you underestimated Yoongi. While your divorce was well on its way and heading off like a bullet train, you had forgotten how petty he was. Exactly like you. Maybe that’s why for a period of time, you suited one another so well.   With the deposit already given on what was supposed to be the honeymoon extravaganza you never had and the plans already made long ago, you were set on going no matter what. Except he was also set on going. The asshole couldn’t give up and neither were you willing to give in.   So here you were. With your worst nemesis.    “Can you repeat that?”   “I’m sorry, ma’am. There’s no possible way we can get you two rooms.” The receptionist looks up from her computer screen. “You originally booked the presidential suite, correct?”   “Yes, but we changed it into two regular rooms a while ago,” Yoongi says. His brows are cinched together and he’s gripping onto the itinerary tightly.   The girl behind the front desk looks at her computer again and clicks twice but probably at nothing. “I’m so sorry. It looks like it didn’t register into our system. Is there anything else I can do for you?”   This is dreadful. As if things couldn’t get worse, they got much much worse.   “Great.” You haul in your luggage, no thanks to him. “This is just great.”   “Yeah, keep complaining,” Yoongi grumbles, “See how much that helps.”   “Shut up.”   On the top floor, the room is quiet and open. There’s a love seat in front of a flat screen television, a dining room and an open kitchen and bar. The large glass windows fully face the sandy, blue beach and allows light to pour into the enormous space. There are two chairs outside the private terrace and a jacuzzi too. But as beautiful as the place is, you feel bitter.    It should’ve been great.    It would’ve been great if you were alone.   And to make matters worse, it seems like the resort hadn’t gotten the news that your relationship with Yoongi was essentially decimated. Not when there was a scattered rose petal path leading up to the king-sized bed which also had two folded doves on it with the word ‘congratulations’ spelled out in more petals. There’s also a note: I hope you enjoy yourselves, Mr. and Mrs. Min. And neither of you miss the mountainous stack of condoms on the nightstand.   Yoongi’s pale. “Christ.”   The knock on the door breaks the thick tension.   Yoongi opens the door, and he immediately steps back as two enthusiastic employees enter while wheeling in a silver cart. “Aloha, welcome to Hawaii! Are you the newlyweds?”   “Umm…”    The two of you are well past that period. To be exact, you married nearly two years ago, but you don’t know how to break it to them. Yoongi’s never been good with words either.   “Enjoying your honeymoon, aren’t you? Congratulations!” The older man is excited as if he was the one who got married. “We bought you a bottle of our best champagne to celebrate and hope you have an everlasting marriage!”   The girl beside the man pops the cork and pours the champagne, and you realize it would be more painless to go along with it.   “Thanks,” you mumble, taking your flute of champagne and nearly downing the entire thing in one go. Yoongi holds his and raises a brow at you.   “We also have a red velvet cake.” He shows you on the busy cart. “And our freshest chocolate strawberries just made earlier by our finest chef. I think you’ll enjoy this chocolate as well.”   “Thank you.” Yoongi offers a faint smile. “This is really nice.”   “Of course, of course! Anything for our newlyweds!” There’s a small bowl of almonds next to the chocolates and two raw oysters served on a plate. It’s odd with the ensemble, but then the man leans closer as if revealing a secret and puts a hand by his mouth. “It is said almonds, chocolate and oysters are aphrodisiacs.”   You choke on your champagne, sputtering.   The girl grins. Yoongi’s wide-eyed.   He collects himself quicker than you do. “Thank you.”   Luckily the friendly, borderline-overbearing staff leave the both of you to it and you’re put out of your misery. For only a moment.   “Are you going to finish that bottle of champagne by yourself?” Yoongi asks across the room and you turn your head to see his cocked brow. Of course, he’s unpacking. The asshole doesn’t know how to relax and always has to make you look bad.   You scoff. “I’m about to open the red wine too.”   “Never thought I’d see you be reduced to a drunk so quickly.”   “Why can’t you just leave me alone? You’re always judging and nitpicking me.”   “I was making a comment.”   “Yeah and no one asked you to,” you mumble into the glass.   Yoongi eyes you. “You don’t have to get so upset, Y/N.”   “Are you serious?” Your posture straightens, legs lifted off the chair you propped them on and feet shifted onto the ground. “I was sitting here minding my own business. Why don’t you mind your own business.”   “I just thought you didn’t want to be sloppy when dinner hasn’t even started yet.”   “I know how to control my pacing.”   Yoongi snorts.   Your tongue rolls inside your cheek. “Excuse me?”   “What?”   “You look like you want to say something.”   “No. Not at all.”   You place the flute down onto the table. “Say it, Yoongi.”    “I thought you said I should mind my own business.”   “You’re such a condescending asshole, you know that?”   Yoongi stops folding his shirt and shuts the drawer. His expression is impassive and it irritates you more. “Pot meets kettle.”   “For someone who’s supposedly quiet, you fucking never know how to shut up.”   “Can’t you just calm down, Y/N? Unlike what you think, I’m not trying to get on your nerves. I’m trying to enjoy this trip.”   “Why are you acting like I’m the only one getting upset and that I’m the crazy one,” you spit, and he opens his mouth as if to say you are being crazy. But you don’t let him— “Don’t you dare say it. Fuck you, Yoongi. You don’t think I’m trying to enjoy this too? You think I wanted it to be like this?!”   “Maybe if you weren’t trying to pick a fight with me every goddamn second, you would have a good time, woman.”   “You’re the one who’s always trying to pick a fight with me!”   He sighs, body language dismissive to what you’re saying. “Stop being so upset—”   “Well too bad, I am upset! So just let me be!” You stand on your feet, teeth gritted and fist clenched. You’re practically screaming across the suite but there aren’t any close enough neighbours to complain. “You’re always telling me what I should and shouldn’t feel! This is exactly why we’re getting a divorce!”   With the last word said, you stomp away and the bathroom door slams shut. It’s the only place you can be alone, but even then, the four walls are frosted glass.   …   You’re not sure who brought up divorce first. It’s not like it matters. But one thing you do know is that it came up in an argument. A jab where someone’s sole intention was to hurt. And the other person stubbornly retaliated with ‘fine, have it your way’.   You remember calling your lawyer and him calling his. The process continued and continued and as it did, so did your arguments as the two of you realized no one was going to stop it. It became more painful the more time that went on. Clearly, it meant he was serious about it. Clearly, he didn’t care if he was happy to sign divorce papers. So you made yourself not care too.   And it continued to snowball like that.   Before you knew it, you were telling your families that the divorce was happening, much to their distress. Before you knew it, here you were.   By the time you get out of the bathroom, Yoongi’s gone.   He probably left for some peace and quiet. After all, it’s volatile when you’re together. It’s not like you want it to be that way, it just became that way. What sucks the most is that you know he’s right. You’re part to blame for the recent argument. You got too worked up unnecessarily. You’re constantly on the defensive as if he’s out to attack you. And once it’s quiet, you hate that you shouted.   But he has his own part to blame too. Yoongi knows how to get under your skin. He knew he was egging you on and he didn’t stop. So it escalated and escalated.   You end up wandering the resort by yourself. You enjoy the sunset on the beach and when the dinner buffet is open, you sit alone with your plate, staring out into the empty abyss of the ocean shrouded in darkness. All around you, there are families and lovers, jovial music that’s inviting.   Yet you feel isolated in the crowd.   You try to move around, preoccupy yourself.    But the last thing you expect is to see Yoongi. Across the bar. With a pretty, young girl on his arm. A sun-kissed blonde, to be specific. Wearing a crop top with booty shorts.    Yoongi’s nursing a whisky on the rocks, his usual drink, as she grasps onto his bicep. The swell of her breasts are practically pushed onto him. She says something and he smiles.   At the same time, something boils in the pit of your stomach. It’s pure, unadulterated rage.   Before you know it, you’ve turned on your heel and beelined to the hotel lobby bar. You call yourself hard liquor and down the drink as you seethe. The image of him and that Barbie doll is seared into your mind, flashing beneath your eyelids each time you blink.   The liquid burns and tears pool into your eyes, but you hold them back.   The bar is busy, filled of guests constantly ordering, so no one notices that you keep downing bitter drinks until there’s a tap on your shoulder—   “Aloha.” A concerned employee looms over you. “Is everything alright?”   That’s when you realize you’ve been drinking by yourself for three full hours. The table’s crowded with glasses and the ones on the edge are a centimeter away from falling over.   You end up waving him away and stumbling back to the room.   The world is teetering and you try to lean onto the wall for balance. It’s a miracle that you pressed the right number on the elevator when everything was swirling together. Or at least, you’re pretty sure this is the right floor.   You pound on the door. “Yoongiiiiii! Yoongiii! Open up!”   When there’s no response, you mutter ‘asshole’. Then your eye peels open and you realize you’ve been knocking against the door of the ice and vending machine room. You turn on your heel and careen to the next door.   “Yooongiiii!” you whine his name in exasperation, cheek pressed against the smooth surface.   You only have to call out twice before the door’s suddenly swinging open and you’re falling into the arms of your (soon-to-be ex-) husband. “‘Bout time. Was waiting foreverrr!”   “Fuck.” Yoongi’s nose scrunches at the smell of alcohol and he grabs a hold of your shoulders, pulling you away from him, nose scrunched at your smell. He keeps you at a safe distance as if you were nervous middle-schoolers at your first dance. You hate it. Why can’t he just hug you? “God, how much did you drink, Y/N?”   “Dunno. Lost my key card.”   “What?”   The door swings shut.   “Are you banging a chick in our room?” you slur, trying to keep your eyes open to look at him. He was already changed into his soft pajamas, a blue checkered print that made him look so much cuter. It’s unfair. “Am I interrupting?”   His brows cinch together, lips turning down. Yoongi’s visibly confused. “Ban—”   “Saw you talkin’ to that pretty girl at the bar,” you huff, wobbling back and forth.   He’s dumbfounded. “Who?”   “Don’t play stupid!” You poke his chest with your finger. “That lil girl who looks like a model!”   Yoongi winces at the volume of your voice and you add in frustration, “I’ll leave if you are, so just tell me already.”   “No, I’m not sleeping with anyone, Y/N.” Yoongi fixes his arm around your waist to keep you balanced and he sighs, reaching down to help you take off your shoes. “So much for knowing how to pace yourself, Y/N,” he mumbles with a faint smile on his lips instead of the annoyance you’re used to.   Yoongi loops your arm around his neck and begins to guide you towards the bed. But you stop, making your legs deadweight and you turn to him, staring into his eyes so deep, it’s like you’re looking into his soul. It’s pretty.   “What?” he asks, almost uncomfortable by your intense gawking.    “Do you not love me anymore?”   “What?”   “Just tell me, goddammit. Do you have no feelings towards me no more?” You pound your chest with your free hand. Yoongi plops you onto the love seat when he sees that you have no plans of making it to the bed. “Did everything mean nothin’ to you?”   He remains silent.   You angrily shout— “Answer me!”   Yoongi flinches. “God, Y/N. You don’t need to scream, I’m right next to you.” He sighs and drags a hand over his face. “If it meant nothing to me, do you think I’d be taking care of you right now? Now sit here and wait.”   With his dictatorial command wielded with his low voice, you pout but obey.    Yoongi returns a minute later with your pajamas in one hand and a cool glass of water in the other. “Drink this. And all of it.”   You nurse the glass of water with two hands and get a sip in. But your pout persists and before you know it, you’re bursting into tears. Yoongi all but freezes.   “’m sorry,” you sob, “I didn’t wanna fight.”   “Y/N.”   “I don’t mean to be so mad! I’m sorry.”   Yoongi kneels in front of you with a long sigh. “It’s okay, Y/N,” he coaxes and tugs the sleeve of his shirt to wipe the beads of teardrops trekking down your cheeks. “I know you didn’t mean it.”   “Really?”   “Yes. If anything….I’m sorry too,” Yoongi mumbles solemnly and before you can react, he’s already moved on. “Now drink your water.”   You cry into your glass, but you down the entire thing like he said and your crying stops by the end.   “Arms up,” Yoongi commands and you listen to him. He peels off your shirt in one single swoop and tosses it aside. He helps you put on your pajama top without blinking an eye and pulls the hem of your leggings to replace those as well. Yoongi even takes a damp washcloth to wipe your face and you watch him the entire time. His lashes are long, and Yoongi’s so nice and reliable. “Let's get you to bed, alright?”   You nod, and he guides you to it, having cleared the rose petals earlier. “So you didn’t sleep with her?”   “No.”   “Why not? She was hot!”   “I wasn’t interested.”   “Really?”   “Really,” Yoongi assures as he sets you to sit on the edge of the mattress. He moves to pull the sheets and struggles with how tucked in they are. In the meanwhile, you get the greatest idea you’ve ever had—   “Then fuck me instead before you fuck her.”   “What?”   Yoongi’s entire body goes rigid and he whips his head towards you with eyes that nearly bulge out of their sockets. You pout at him. “I wanna suck your dick and feel it in me, Yoongi. I miss it. When we used to have sex. It was so good.”   “Oh, you are so drunk.” He chuckles, a sound that sounds so nice you wish you can hear it forever and ever. “You’re going to be so embarrassed when you wake up tomorrow, Y/N.”   Yoongi pulls the sheet and is about to get you tucked in. But you steal the opportunity when he gets close and you loop your arms around his neck. “No, I’m not.” Your voice drops into a whisper. “Remember when you used to spit in my mouth? And you liked it sooo much.” You giggle when you notice his ears becoming hot and red. “You still like it now, don’t you, you nasty freak!”   You smack him on the shoulder in the midst of your bubbling laughter and he winces.    “Ow!”   “Imagine if I got pregnant from it too!” you add in your hysterics.   “Let’s not.”   “I always thought our kids would be so cute. Especially if they got your cheeks.” You reach and tug on Yoongi’s cheeks while giggling. He lets you have your fun, staying still and letting you squish his face together. And in your drunken state, you don’t realize how tender his eyes become.   “We’re getting a divorce, Y/N.”   You frown. “Why on earth would we do that?”   “Because,” he murmurs.   “Let’s not,” you slur. “Can’t we cancel it?”   It goes quiet with Yoongi gazing into your eyes. “Do you even know what you’re saying?”   “Yeah.” You grow sheepish. “Aren’t you supposed to get a divorce if you hate each other?”   “That’s how it works generally.” Yoongi stands and gently presses on your shoulder to lay you down. The pillows feel soft underneath your head and he starts to tug the covers up to your chin.   “But I don’t hate you. I care a loooooot about you.” You sulk. “Otherwise, why’d I get jealous when I saw you at the bar?”   The corner of his mouth tugs. “So you’re admitting you were jealous?”   “Wouldn’t you get jealous if you saw me with someone else?”   Yoongi thinks about it. “Maybe.”   “Maybe?”   He finally admits, “Yeah, I’d be pretty pissed.”   You hum contently, lids becoming uncontrollably heavier. You want to stay up. It’s so much fun talking to Yoongi. It feels like forever since you talked to him like this. But you’re so tired. And comfortable. You want him to cuddle and spoon you to sleep. Yoongi cuddles are the best.   “Yooongiiii.”   You call out to him with your eyes closed.   “Yeah?”   “I think—” You go dead quiet and after three seconds, he thinks you’ve fallen asleep, but then your mouth moves again. “—I loooove you.” A beat later, your two arms suddenly raises up into the air. Hands measuring about a ruler stick length. “This much.”   He snorts and turns off the lamp. “Go to sleep, Y/N.”   …   When you wake up the next morning, your head is absolutely pounding.   For the first time, you detest how much light the damn room lets in. You also curse aging and having to suffer hangovers when five years ago, you were perfectly unscathed the next day after drinking.   Luckily, there’s advil on the bedside with a tall glass of water and you down the entire thing after taking a pill. You’re not so sure where these came from, but your answer is across the room.   Yoongi, realizing you’re awake, has an amused smile on his face and his brow cocked. More importantly, his eyes have somehow softened.   You groan, remembering last night. Every detail. Every word. Like a film that could be played back. It’s mortifying and even without your obvious reaction, Yoongi’s been with you long enough to know how superb your memory is even after being wasted. He knows you know.   And the worst part?    You meant it all.

[kimnjss]

unconscious confession | jhs

⤑  series: heartbreaker

⤑ pairing: stoner!hoseok x cheerleader!reader

⤑ genre: fluff !! 

⤑ rating: pg13

⤑ word count: 3.4 // unedited

⤑ warnings: use of recreational drugs..!!

⤑ A/N: hiiii! thanks to everyone who has been reading along so far and giving me feedback with each and every update !! i really appreciate it honestly it’s a really big motivator for me. sooo i hope you like this part as well, don’t forget to let me know what you think . and also it’s this hoseok walking around lmao .

OCTOBER 3RD, 2020 | 19:26

Hoseok showed up to the game while the players were still practicing and you and the rest of the squad were in the middle of stretches. He looks effortlessly handsome from the quick glimpse you get before he's slumping down onto the metal. Focus on tucking each crumble of weed into the paper, but he'd occasionally steal glances at you on the field.

And your eyes meet each and every time. He played into the casual feel he wanted to set for tonight, an oversized pale yellow shirt underneath his light denim jacket. The pants he wears matches the jean of his jacket but are covered in rips, hair being held back by a headband. You've never noticed it before, but staring at him from the field when you really should be stretching had you realizing how well he carried himself. All of the time.

Thankfully, you're able to keep focus while you're actually cheering. Ignoring the fuzzy feeling that rises in your chest at the sight of him cheering for you (it's not for the players on the field who are losing, badly). He even waves cutely at you as you're being thrown in the air and you consider ruining your form to wave back. But decide against it, Jimin would throw a fit.

His attention is on you from kickoff through overtime, taking the steps two at a time as the players line up to congratulate the winning team. “Ooh. Here comes your biggest fan,” Jimin points out from beside you, slightly breathless from the back-to-back routines.

You're gulping down mouthfuls of water, so you actually don't see when Hoseok makes his way over to you. Not until Jimin's words are registering and your head is whipping around to catch the wide smile on his pretty face. He doesn't hesitate to drop his arm over your shoulders, easily tucking your body into his side.

Instantly, you're engulfed in the familiar scent of him. The subtle stench of weed masked by his sweet cologne. You've never been around a guy who smelt as sweet as Hoseok always did, used to the overpowering stink of AXE body spray, but you're convinced he's never purchased a bottle. 

He's offering a quick nod of acknowledgment to Jimin, which is met with a halfhearted wave as he leans down to tie his laces. “You were pretty cool cheering,” He tries to be nonchalant with his compliment, eyes focused on the sky as he talks. Which is pointless, you already caught the way he had been cheering from the crowd.

“'Pretty cool', that's it?” There's a playful smirk on your lips that he finds way more inciting than he should. But, he's determined to keep his cool in front of you so all he does is lift his shoulders in a slight shrug. “Yeah, pretty cool.” He repeats in the same tone as before.

You don't even bother to mask the snicker that sneaks past your lips. “I put my leg behind my head it was just 'pretty cool'? Maybe you need an up-close demonstration?” It's the one that you use that catches him off guard, highlighting the meaning behind your suggestion.

He stumbles slightly, eyes widening slightly. That was obviously something he's thought about before... respectfully. This wasn't the first time he's seen what your body could do and it never failed to get his mind wandering. Of course, he's thought if he had the chance to sleep with you, would you pull out the same tricks you do on the field. Who wouldn't wonder that with someone they were pursuing? 

But, the fact that you were mentioning it. Hinting at it like you were planning for exactly that to happen, that was a whole different ballpark. And it's obvious from the slightly dazed look in his eye, that you can't help but laugh at. Pulling him from his thoughts with the sound of your laugh.

“You're funny,” You say through your laughter, which he's quickly catching on to – soft chuckles leaving his lips.

He leads you all the way to the locker rooms, where he waits outside for you to change out of your uniform and into the sweater and jeans you had picked out for your date. Compliment at the edge of his tongue the moment you're stepping out, arm dropping back down around your shoulder.

While the two of you walk to his car, he fills you in on the hilarious thing Jeongguk did that morning. And you laugh along with him. Like an actual laugh, not one of those forced ones to boost his ego. He's animated as he speaks, gesturing wide and goofy voices tagged as his friend's voices.

You're a few steps from his car when he's rushing ahead of you, pulling the car door open before dramatically gesturing to it. “M'lady,” He says as you pass him and you know he's just kidding, but your heart skips a beat.

There's got to be something wrong with you, you're sure of it. You've been on tons of dates in the past and here you were all warm and fuzzy inside and the date has barely started. It was comforting being around Hoseok, though. As if you've always known him, you hardly had to do any thinking when you texted and it was no different in person.

You can't help but wonder if it felt like that for him too. A connection like that can't just go unnoticed, right? Or maybe you were getting ahead of yourself. “Will you tell me now where we're going?” You're asking as he's settling into the space beside you, tugging his seatbelt around his waist.

“I won't tell you until we're there.” You had spent the entire night before trying to guess where he was taking you, which was no use. The shrug emoji was a favorite of his you were quickly realizing. “It's really cool, though. You're gonna like it,” He says with a grin.

If that was supposed to ease your curious mind, it does the exact opposite. A place he was sure you were going to like? How would he know? Talked for seven days straight, but that's only one week. Do you really know what someone likes after one week?

Hoseok's quiet the entire car ride, a small smile playing on his lips as he drives. You're too busy striking out possible date locations to make any conversation, so the soft sound of his music is the only noise that fills the car. He's humming along to the beat, fingers tapping against the steering wheel, hair being swept by the wind. He's something out of a movie, it's hard to really focus on anything else.

Ten whole minutes pass of you shamelessly admiring his profile before he's shoving the car into park. “We're here,” Arms stretched out in front of him and your eyes squint, figuring you're missing something. “Where's here?” You're asking when you can't find the answer for yourself.

Hoseok lets out a small laugh, hand reaching to unbuckle his seatbelt. “You gotta get out to see it,” He's at your door seconds later, pulling it open and offering his hand out to you. Which you take, allowing him to pull you from the warmth and into the night wind. With his fingers laced with yours, he leads you away from the car.

You were standing on a cliff and the closer you get to the edge, the prettier it gets. Lights from the city below twinkling, but it looks so quiet. “You can see everything up here,” His fingers are still laced with yours, forgotten between you. “Right. I like to come here sometimes and just look,” Even with the endless conversation the two of you shared throughout the week, there were still quite a few things you didn't know about him.

Like the fact that he had a spot or the reason, he felt like he needed one in the first place. “How come you wanted to have our date here?” Aren't spots supposed to be private? Wouldn't showing you where he goes to 'just look', take away from that?

All at once, he's becoming all too aware with the warmth of your hand in his. The small tingle he feels throughout his palm that he had done a good job at ignoring up until now. It's the reason he's wiggling his fingers from your grasp and shoving his hand into the front pocket of his jeans.

He's plopping down on the rock with a thud, shoulders shrugging. “I don't know. Sometimes when we talk, I feel like bringing you here. So I did.” He's trying to be cool and you're not too sure why. There's a code in his words that isn't at all hard to read. He wanted to bring you here, let you in on a piece of him and no matter how nonchalant he tried to act about it, that's what it was.

So you're lowering yourself to sit beside him. From his pocket, he's pulling out a pre-rolled blunt and tucking it between his lips. He's quick with lighting it, taking his time with inhaling. “I don't really go on dates like that, you know. I mean, I do... but I don't. When I take girls out, it's like a gratuity, you know? But, I like talking to you and I wanted to show you something cool too. So I brought you here,”

His free hand rests on the ground behind you, inadvertently pulling your body closer to his. “Do you like it?” There's a bit of hopefulness in his voice that's hard to miss.

You're smiling brightly up at him, nodding your head to rid him of any confusion. “I like it. It's really pretty. Thank you for showing it to me,” Just your smile was enough to have the flutter starting up in his chest, but the way you talked to him? He'd turn into a blubbering fool if he wasn't careful.

He extends his hand, wordlessly offering the smoke out to you. And you're assuming that he just wants you to hold it for a second, so you pluck it from his fingers. And wait. He's snorting out a laugh at the patient look on your face. “You gonna hit it or...?”

“Oh! Uhm... no?” He's quick with pulling it from your fingers at the rejection, no desire to waste anything. “Why not? Are you like a good girl or something?” He teases, words coming through a cloud of smoke.

You're letting out a scoff, eyes rolling at his words. “No. I'm an athlete. My body is my most important instrument. Which includes my lungs,” He's bursting out laughing at the snootiness hidden in your tone. A loud laugh contagious laugh that could probably be heard throughout the entire city.

“Well, excuse me,” He speaks through your dying laughter.

With his arm resting behind you, you're naturally leaning into his side. The calm of the night and having him so close has a warm feeling settling in your chest, so much so that it's hard to contain the smile that has spread onto your features. Sitting in comfortable silence and watching the city below and it doesn't feel weird.

Content with just being around him and that's something you've never felt before. Whether or not he was feeling it too was lost on you, his focus on moving the blunt to and from his lips, a cloud of smoke forming above your heads.

“You see that greenish building?” You're pointing a little ways ahead of you. He has to lean forward and squint to see what you're referring to but nods once he spots it. “That's my middle school,” Punctuating your words with a grin up at him.

His fingers move to flick his scraps into the window, his body moving closer to you now that his focus wasn't split. “What was Middle School Yn like?” His free hand fidgets with the pebbles on the other side of his body, the other resting over your shoulder.

“Middle School Yn?” You repeat with a laugh, head tilting to the side as you're brought back to what you were like in middle school. Nothing like how you've turned out. “She was... different?” You're laughing again, planning on leaving it at that.

But, he's got this expectant look on his face, waiting for you to go on. So you do. “I kept to myself mostly, didn't have many friends. Not nearly as confident as I am now. I read a lot and did my homework. That's it,” He doesn't seem shocked or even surprised by the fact that you weren't always this popular magazine cut-out creation of yourself.

He doesn't even bat an eye, simply nodding at your words. “So you were a little nerdy?” His words don't come out in the rude unconvinced way that you've heard before when showing your past yearbooks. It's more like he's trying to get an image of what you looked like back than despite anything else.

“You could say that,” He's nodding, brushing the dirt from his hands. “Cute. Middle School me would've had the biggest crush on you.” Hoseok speaks as if it's just another fact like his words don't have a flutter shooting through your chest.

And with how sure he was that you two would've hit it off in middle school, you can't help but become curious. “What were you like back then?” You try to picture what a younger version of him would look like. How he'd act. Probably still cool, unbothered by most things that would usually send kids into a rage.

Your imagination doesn't get too far before he's answering. “I was a bit of a hothead... always wanted to fight someone. I was sensitive and emotional, so I argued a lot with whoever. I had a ton of friends, though. But looking, they were probably just afraid of not being my friend.” He laughs so you offer up a small giggle.

Your hand had been mindlessly resting on his thigh before, fingers tracing patterns into the fabric of his jeans as he speaks. “So why do you think you'd have a crush on me?” From the way he described himself, it seemed like you two wouldn't even sit by each other – let alone be close enough that he'd develop a crush.

He's shrugging at your words, an action that you've quickly realized is his favorite. A way to give off nonchalance, but looking close enough it's not hard to detect the light blush that dusts over his cheeks. “You said you were quiet. I think I would've liked being around you. Listening to you talk... like now,” His arm drops from your shoulders to wrap around your waist, using his grip to pull you closer to him.

“Think if I met you then or now, I'd still be into the way you smile... or the pretty way you roll your eyes when you're trying to act annoyed. And yeah, just you.” His hand reaches for yours in his lap, loosely twisting your fingers with his. “Any version of me would like you,” It's so soft, you're not sure if that last part was meant for you to hear.

His eyes are focused out in front of you, not even slightly looking like someone that just confessed. So you ignore it, summing it up as a slip of the tongue. You don't comment, but that doesn't stop the butterflies from taking over your stomach.

All at once, you're being met with the undeniable urge to kiss him. Just to see what it feels like. Throw out the self-proclaimed challenge you set for yourself because Arya was probably wrong. You've spent the entire night with the guy, he cheered you on from the crowd, brought you to his spot, and now this... unconscious confession. The fact that he liked you was on his mind so much that he was saying it without even realizing it.

You found it extremely hard to think someone like that would have the wrap sheet he was given. Or, maybe he did in the past... but with you it was different. Why else would he take you here, invite you into his space and talk to you the way that he has if it wasn't anything different? Right?

Right.

So before you can talk yourself out of it, you're tilting your head to the side to face him. “It's pretty here, huh?” Voice much softer now, you've taken control of the fiddling of fingers. Twisting yours around him and occasionally brushing your nails against his skin. It's subtle enough to be taken lightly but just enough to leave his skin tingling.

He's quick to pick up on your change of demeanor, brows raising in slight surprise, but he doesn't say anything. In fact, he's following your lead, leaning his body in closer to yours. “Mhm. Quiet too, nobody really comes over here,” His fingers tug at the belt loops in your jeans, tongue pushing out to wet his lips.

“That's good,” Your breath brushes against his lips as you speak, eyes dropping to his lips. He doesn't say anything else, gently pulling his fingers from your grasp just so he can spread his palm on the side of your neck. And then his lips are crashing down onto yours, hand holding your head in place.

Hoseok kisses you slowly at first, mouth molding with yours. But it's not long before he's brushing his tongue over your lips, testing the waters before he's plunging in. Fingers pressed into his jeans, you try to keep your head from spinning as his tongue pushes against yours. He tastes earthy... but a little sweet. It's intoxicating.

With two hands planted firmly on your hips, he's easily lifting you onto his lap. The movement so fast it's forcing you to break the kiss, a squealed laugh breaking the kiss. Which he meets with a wide grin, reaching to push your hair from your face. Slowly, he drags the tips of his fingers over your jawline, until he's holding your chin between his thumb and index finger.

“I really like your lips,” He says through a groan, leaning in to cover your mouth with his once more. Hands dropping to cover the curve of your ass, pushing your body further up on his lap so your hips collide. You can feel his half-hard cock pressed against your thigh and it takes everything in you not to grind your hips forward.

The feeling of his cool hands slipping underneath your sweater has a shiver running down your spine. Body reacting to the way his fingers climb up your skin, grazing over the underwire of your bra. His teeth tug at your lower lip and you feel the twitch of his cock hardening as his hands slide underneath.

Your slow with pulling back, not fully wanting to pull away – but knowing if you didn't stop now you wouldn't be able to convince yourself later on. It's cute, though, the way his lips chase yours as you put distance between the two of you. When he's not tasting the peach of your lip gloss, his eyes flutter open.

Two large hands resting over your breasts, cheeks matching the color of his eyes. “You don't want to?” He looks genuinely confused, like someone not wanting to sleep with him right away was some foreign concept. Still, he's pulling his hands from the inside of your shirt, resting them behind him.

“Not yet,” He nods, glossy lips spreading into a smile. “Okay,” He leans up to press a reassuring kiss to your nose before he's sliding you off of his lap. And then, without missing a beat he's saying. “I bet I can name more constellations than you,” Completely wiping away any possibility of an awkward moment rising.

Challenging you with a smirk on his face and the comfortable atmosphere you had been in before is quickly returning. “Yeah, okay.” He's stretched out on the ground so he can look at the sky properly and you're quick to lower yourself beside him.

And just like that, you're pointing out clusters of stars, laughing at the ridiculous names that you come up with. Your head pressed to his shoulder and his arm wrapped around you. You don't even notice as the hours tick by.

— you’re just his type. so it’s no surprise when all of his time and effort goes into making you his. though, they’ve always said… you only want it because you can’t have it.

⤪ masterlist ⤨

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A/N: timestamps make sense throughout the fic. if u want to be added to the tag list, send me an ask! + if you’ve asked to be on my permanent taglist, you do not need to ask to be added to this one !!

[jiminrings]

i think stem!koo would compare himself with the other guy and start questioning if that’s more oc’s type and if he’s just the outlier. maybe even tries mimicking the other guy to see oc’s reaction… like if oc was talking to hobi and guk saw and then when they meet up a few day later oc’s like???? why are you blonde?

cold senior!y/n x stem major!koo masterlist :D

besides hoseok having the divine ability to throw pretty cool parties, it turns out he’s actually pretty cool too — too bad jungkook doesn’t know how to handle his jealousy at all.

“would you hate me?”

there’s no morning like today, really

no morning like today because all three of you woke up before 10 am

setting alarms when there are no classes is the equivalent of setting yourself up and you will not subject yourself to that!! — you wake up at like 12 pm max

yoongi would typically wake up at 4 in the morning, groggily realize that it’s iNDEED 4 in the morning, and go back to sleep — he wakes up seven hours later <3

jin’s sleeping pattern (or as what he calls un-blinking hours) fluctuates so oftenly and is therefore non-existent — he wakes up only when you wake him up!!

the three of you just started coming out of your rooms one-by-one and were in a daze looking at each other :|

no morning like today because now that the three of you woke up practically at the same exact time for an unknown reason, you asked if you can have jungkook come over for breakfast and they agreed

“do you guys mind if i invite jungkook for breakfast?”

“nah. go ahead.”

“it’s alright i understand i-?? what did you just say?”

jungkook also feels like there’s definitely something in the air this morning and it’s not weed lol

jin greeted him and yoongi nodded at him??? it felt as weird yet gratifying as a nickelodeon show crossover

all of you are immersed in casual and playful chatter in a somehow haze!! seokjin’s on autopilot preparing four (!!) bowls and yoongi’s getting the family (!!) cutlery instead of the disposable visitor ones

which is why the moment you ask a seemingly-loaded question, everyone just immediately snappeD out of it and was brought back to reality

“would you hate me?”

“never.” (jungkook fervently shakes his head no that his neck felt like it was unscrewed at one point)

“i would gaslight everyone and everything for you.” (yoongi snickers with his hands across his chest, actually thinking that he could also gaslight anything for you even if it’s an inanimate object)

“depends.” (jin carelessly shrugs as he tries to convince himself that you wouldn’t commit arson to his dream shared house with you and yoongi)

...

well they really didn’t let you finish ://

“thank you, but i didn’t mean it that way,” you snicker in thought at each of their answers, giving jungkook a grateful pat on his knee

yoongi almost scowls at that but he, along with jin, catches your incessant gaze

oh the question is meant for the two of them???

“would you hate me if i convince the two of you to split with me the cost of a canvas painting?”

a what

since wHEN are you into canvas paintings???

the two of them have their mouths slightly ajar and even jungkook’s joining in because even if he’s nOt included in this conversation, he’s also surprised???

“like an old abstract painting?” jin grimaces and therefore breaks the silence, blindly folding in his fluffy pancake mix to look at your reaction

“god, no,” you shudder already at the thought of an old painting with asbestos you can’t gauge the meaning of being hung at the large empty wall, “it’s for our dorm.”

.... oh?

they aren’t really against chipping in for an item that only yOU would benefit from, but it’s kinda exciting to think that all three of you are involved

“how big is this painting that you’re talking about?”

yoongi asks in deep thought, already thinking about nails and screws (which probably aren’t allowed) and the backup heavy-duty mounting tape

he’s curious already!!!! screw him!!!

“really?” your eyes considerably widen, looking at the teo of them, both shrugging at each other and that’s already your seal of approval!!! see!! you didn’t even have to plead :D

“A1 — that’s what the guy said. i found him on instagram!!”

yoongi narrows his eyes at you unironically, tch-ing at what you just said

“i don’t speak in barbecue sauce, y/n.”

.,.,.,...,. pls

jin snorts extra loudly because yoongi’s completely serious and not kidding at all when he only knows A1 as a goddamn brand of sauce instead of an actual measurement

“A1 means 23x33 inches in sizing, dumbass.”

the guy at the receiving end of chuckles only nods with newfound knowledge, already mapping it out

“what’s it about? i-i can chip in too if you’d like!!”

jungkook interjects sincerely, raising his hand out of classroom habit to which he sheepishly brings down

“it’s okay, koo. you don’t need to,” you reply back sincerely and effectively shut out the egging that yoongi and jin are giving him, something along the lines of “hey jungkook!! what if you pay for it whole, hm? you can come over for breakfast next time if you do.”

jungkook was really about to steal your phone and enter his card information in a sECOND if only you didn’t stop him

“the painting is to die for, y’know?” you hype it up as much as you could, holding jungkook’s hands in place so he can stop reaching for his wallet

:D

“it’s a painting of a sheep on a field, with the mountains behind it, that says atleast we’re under the same sky!!”

it’s pretty much safe to say that jin and yoongs were ready to lay down their money right then and there

neither of you can put a finger on it but it just tOUCHES your heart!! it’s a piece that pops up in your mind every now and then and feels like a fond memory while at it

“...and sent! quick too — he already gave me the payment confirmation.”

that’s nice!! not even five minutes after you sent your proof of payment and he already acknowledged it

the fact that it’s already paid for now aND is probably gonna get delivered within a matter of days is exciting, really

“i think i’d toss and turn in bed until that painting arrives,��� yoongi yawns in admission, going into town with the powdered sugar on his pancakes that you physically had to stop him

“i’d save that painting first when there’s a fire,” jin snickers but it’s not that well-received, getting a pointed glare in return from yoongi, “fine. i’ll save y/n first and then the painting.”

this is your happy place :-)

your three favorite boys in the whole entire world in the sAME room!! and they’re not arguing!! there’s now dwelling in the past!!

just mediocre tolerance from yoongi and jin’s side, then half-giddiness and half-nervousness from jungkook’s side

“when it arrives, i’ll take a picture of the three of you and get it printed!”

kook offers and it earns him a ruffle on his hair, surprisingly from jin, that makes him almost chOke on the most delicious pancakes he’s ever tasted

“thank you, koo.”

jungkook’s getting used to this, actually

normally he’d expect a kiss on his cheek for his wonderful offer!! or maybe a hand on his thigh!! but he’s slowly starting to realize that you’re not always a physically affectionate lover

he’s admittedly the clingier out of the two of you but it’s okay!! right!!!!!!! it is :D

he’s sitting beside you right now on the couch anyway!! he’ll take that

yoongi, however, will nOT take it because that’s his spot and jungkook’s taking it away from him >:( he’s only noticed now out of the twenty minutes the four of you have been sitting here

he’s sneakily scraping off the powdered sugar from his pancakes and to the edge of his plate, ready to spill it on jungkook so he’d have an excuse of pushing him to the bathroom and take his spot beside you

just one more scrape and-

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCKKKKKKKKKKKK-!!!!!!

literally everyone jolts with the abrupt knocking on your door and it even panics you a little

“w-who’s that?” jungkook fidgets on his seat and raises his feet on the cushions (no one can scold him bc everyone is also preoccupied) and his hand grips on your forearm out of instinct

“are you expecting anyone?” you ask jin because this may just be namjoon who’s rushing to get inside because students might see him

“no one,” he shakes his head and turns to yoongi, “this yours?”

yoongi shakes his head, his hand still clutching at his chest, “didn’t even order anything online these past two weeks.”

this is okay!! robbers don’t knock on the door, right? :-)

you make the initiative to stand up but you get tugged almost immediately by the three of them, shrugging them off as calmly as you could

“i’ll just see, alright?”

you peep on the keyhole and you relax immediately, just seeing a delivery guy with a huge package

you open the door and jungkook sputters of why the hell you would, about to skid towards you when-

“hoseok?”

is that-

is that jung hoseok??

jung hoseok as in your junior, the one who’s notoriously known for throwing the coolest parties ever?? to which he gets even the seal of approval from his seniors??

the same hoseok who threw the party wherein jungkook was ditched by jimin and you needed to walk him home? the one who threw the party wherein tae slipped outside and you needed to take him to the hospital??

tHAT hoseok????

he’s kinda cool for all of that actually

“Y/N???”

he’s just as surprised as you are, mouth actually dropping agape

the both of you are so surprised that neither of you seem to acknowledge the mammoth of a package that he’s holding

...

....

“oh my god, you’re the one who ordered my painting!!!”

hoseok actually leaps to hug you and it’s a miracle that you’re not knocked over with his sheer force, giddily jumping up and down as if embracing you is not enough

he pulls off before you could even poke at him, instead holding you by your shoulders and jostling you lightly now

jungkook’s watching the whole thing unfold and he’s still quite stuck on the couch, head tilting in confusion

why.... is hoseok.... hugging you.....

why........ are you letting him..... hug you

“oh my god!!! you’re the one!!!!! i-i thought no one would buy from me because i’m a small business and i don’t have a lot of works right now and my style is different but — yoongi!!!!”

hoseok attaches to yoongi next and the older guy just chuckles, patting him on the back

they’re not really close and no one really hugs their senior like that, most especially yoongi, but here they are

“let me guess, you’re one of the three who bought it, right?? y/n messaged me saying that she has two friends chipping in and asked me that if i could, add in some freebies!! and i did!!!”

man,, hoseok is quick

“we didn’t know you’re the one who made it,” you admit which gets a lot of nodding from both parties

“i didn’t know either that you guys were the one who bought it!” hoseok exclaims and turns his head to jin, “mr. kim!!! thank you so much!! you complete the trio, right?”

you and yoongi are bAFFLED at hoseok hugging seokjin, or rather mr. kim, aka an official of student affairs

what’s even more baffling is that jin doesn’t look surprised at all

“you two — i- uhm? i don’t-...”

“... hoseok’s my plug. our plug, actually.”

:O

hoseok doesn’t even look the least bit fazed, even nodding and laughing as he raises his hand

“i’m a business major!!”

ok wait maybe that does explain everything

jungkook’s so lost looking at the scene in front of him and frankly, he doesn’t know if he’s still included at this point

he’s frazzled when hoseok’s eyes slightly widen at the sight of him but later grin at him, looking back at you to wiggle his eyebrows

“and jungkook, is a stem major.”

it seems like no one but jungkook is surprised at hoseok’s sudden barging presence in the dorm

no one is batting an eye when he invites himself to stay and plop on the couch

“here, you can have mine.”

jungkook helplessly looks at you when you offer yOUR plate (that has one whole pancake left) to hoseok and leave him be

no one’s questioning him because after all, the three of you are busy unwrapping the package while he continues to explain

“what was i saying again? oh right!! i panicked when i saw the money transferred to my account because even if we were chatting, at first i was a littlE hesitant because like, bogus buyers amirite??” he speaks through a mouthful of pancakes, “and then you paid!! and i saw the address and tHEN i was really excited and like panicked? i didn’t want to get it shipped when you’re this near because that’s expensive!! and i wanted to thank the three of you personally!!”

“— which is why i sprinted all the way here!!”

that explains hoseok’s breathless and sweaty state, the whole tale of him bumping into the dean at one point and almost stomping on a pigeon making everyone entertained

everyone besides jungkook.

is it just him or is everyone’s eye twitching right now

is this his dorm? no. but does he feel like hoseok’s intruding, regardless if he lives in here or in the perspective of a fellow visitor? yes.

apparently, nONE out of the three of you seem to think so

because it’s all so good!! hoseok probably lives in your dorm too because why else would you give up your breakfast for him??

the three of you are actively fawning over the painting and jungkook’s just sO sure that it’s giving hoseok the biggest ego boost of his life ://

they just share a class or two, they aren’t really close anyways

hoseok’s the type to be intimidating and popular at the same time but surprisingly, he’s friendly in a way

ok maybe jungkook’s just getting a little over in his head rn

if he leaves, then it’s also hoseok’s time to leave!!!

he’s already practicing the words in his head

“come on hoseok, they’re the furthest thing away from being done at fawning. let’s walk together back to the dorms.”

he’s about to say it when-

“anyone have a headband i can borrow?”

hoseok asks aloud and effectively catches everyone’s attention, making you stand up in agreement

what the fuck is actually happening

jungkook watches you hand one of the headbands you wear during your games to hoseok, a guy you barely know, like it’s no big deal?????

that headband smells like your hair!!! the hair that he loves to bury his nose into and plays with!!!

that’s yours and you’re giving it to hIM?

jungkook’s stomach actually drops even if he just finished eating minutes ago, ina daze looking at hoseok putting it on his blonde hair

he doesn’t know what’s stemming from his heart nor what his tummy’s telling him, but jungkook doesn’t like it at all.

“i’m going home,” kook murmurs behind you who’s instructing yoongi and jin to level the painting some more, snaking his arm around your waist

“really? oh, okay. text me when you get home.”

you only sweetly smile at him and jungkook’s actually awaiting the offer of you walking him home, but it doesn’t come

that’s okay!

“bye. love you.”

he softly says yet it’s enough for everyone to hear, his hand still secured snugly on your waist

jungkook’s about to go for a kiss on your cheek because he’s sURE that both yoongi and jin would scowl at him if he took it any further, but he catches hoseok at the corner of his eye and it’s all out the door

he unexpectedly presses a chaste kiss on your lips and playfully drags out the mwah! at the end, much to the daggers your friends send him

that’s enough!! hoseok already saw — you’re taken by him. jungkook doesn’t need to worry now that hoseok knows :)

...

....

...... he may have spoken too soon

he’s already established that you’re taken by him, that’s great! even hoseok teases him when they see each other the next day

was that an ego boost? yes

what wasn’t an ego boost is seeing hoseok talking to him and parading the halls with your headband on!!

that’s yOUR headband!!! not his!!! what happened to merely borrowing it?

did he just happen to steal it from you, or did you just let him steal it from you?

:(

jungkook positively thinks that’s the end of this whole heart-clenching

hoseok has your headband but jungkook has you. it’s clear who’s actually winning in life

but god is jungkook wrong again

he texted you in the same morning on what you were doing since you had your classes cancelled for today with no professors coming in

going to brunch with hobi instead of sleeping all day. jin’s in the office and yoongi’s out on grocery duty. have fun w your classes :)

Hobi???

Uhm I literally just passed him in the halls two minutes ago

really? lmao that means he’s skipping class then

no because hold on

hoseok’s sKIPPING class to go to brunch with you?

you’re going to brunch with him???

HOBI?????

jungkook uncomfortably tucks his phone back into his pocket as class starts, chewing at his bottom lip

do you want him to skip classes so he could go to brunch with you?

better yet, is hoseok better than him because it’s no problem for him to skip classes??

now that he thinks about it, jungkook hasn't skipped even a single day of classes ever since freshman year

he used to take pride on his attendance but now he uh kinda wants a blank mark on his card actually

he could go to lengths of skipping classes if you asked him to!! he can!! of course he'll do that for you

but you don't ask him to and it's obvious that you only learned now how hoseok's able to meet you in the first place, but the reason behind it didn't seem to faze you

in fact, it looks like you're even amused

jungkook has to physically shake his head to get rid of his thoughts but that doesn't do anything

he's still thinking about you and hoseok during class.

he's trying not to dwell on it but it's difficult when he's always reminded of it

every time he comes over, the painting is GLARING at him and that's the reason jungkook just keeps his eyes on you for literally the whole time that he's there

your phone sometimes dings and it's a tiktok notification of hoseok sending you one

everything he does, hoseok and his outrageously blonde hair just seems to follow him

you had cat fur on the sleeve of your hoodie because you pet the campus cat awhile ago and jungkook was about to shriek because even that reminded him of the guy

all he's done this week is become bothered and frustrated to the point that even jimin, oftenly the most clueless and easy-going guy in the room, noticed it

"trouble in paradise?"

jimin's cool voice is the first thing that snaps him out of his anti-hoseok tirade in his mind, his eyes landing on his roommate lazily

it's actually jimin's red hair that makes jungkook look twice because when he saw him in the morning, he was still blonde

....,.,. blonde....?

"jimin?"

"hmm? am i right? is it rEALLY trouble in-"

"remember that time you ditched me in hoseok's party? or that time i made your paper because you forgot and you were hung-over and then you ended up getting an A?"

jimin's head tilts at jungkook's enumeration, blinking owlishly at him

".... yeah?"

"good," jungkook nods in acknwoledgement at jimin's recall, "because i think i'm gonna cash in the favors that you owe me."

:O

it's pouring

it hasn't rained in so long and it's raining sO hard that you might have to look for a candle later on

it was on the news anyway that it was gonna rain this hard but no one really expected that it'd be this hard!!

nonetheless, jungkook soothed your worries and said he'd come over because the two of you haven't seen each other in like three days

maybe it's just you but something feels off with jungkook

oddly, he's gotten a little bit more attached to you yet weirdly distant at the same time

for some reason, he asks a lot more questions too

just yesterday, he sent you a screenshot of a white polo, asked if it looked good, and proceeded to immediately purchase it once you said it looked nice

just because you don't frequently comment on what you notice, doesn't exactly mEAN you don't care about it

jungkook's a big boy!! an adult!! if he wants to say something to you, then he says it

he always has the words in his head, that much you know

but yOU, however.,.,.,

you really don't have the words right now

because as soon as you open the door, your eyes land on your boyfriend

your boyfriend in his usual hoodie who's been growing out his hair and is looking very much blonde and different

“you’re blonde?”

you rhetorically ask in shock and you're clueless to the fact that you look like a fish out of water, your hands unconsciously darting out to his chest

“hmm, you like it?”

jungkook hums and tries to keep the giddiness he feels at bay just seeing you look gobsmacked, your hands moving from his collarbones to his neck and finally, to his hair

you offer no answer because you find yourself kissing jungkook before you could even let him in and close the door

he mewls in satisfaction when you kiss him deeper and cup his cheeks, his hands finding no hesitance in pushing your bodies closer by the waist

"my handsome boy," you mumble at one point in the kiss, eternally grateful that the two of you are the only one in the dorm right now

jungkook preens at your attention, mumbling to your lips before he makes the move to kiss you determinedly

“you like me better than hoseok?”

in a single second, he doesn't feel you kissing back at all

he's so confused as he pulls away, dark brows, in contrast to his blonde hair, knitted in confusion

“quit it.”

there's no actual edge to your tone but you feel like it, an incoming realization starting to dawn on you

jungkook's oblivious to your boiling irritation, clueless to how the dots are connecting in your mind and how you're not sure on how to tackle them

“what did i do? i was just asking you if you like me better than him.”

he says nonchalantly and it's the tone that irks you — as if his seemingly harmless question didn't reveal what he really wanted to get at

“i’m with you, jungkook. has that not been established enough yet?”

your voice is still calm yet you trudge away from him, your boyfriend quick on his heels to trail behind you

“i mean you did kiss me on the mouth just now,” jungkook points out as if you weren't aware. “because i’m blonde just like hoseok.”

“oh my god."

it was just a strong hunch at first but hearing it first-hand from jungkook accelerates your sentiment for what he did even faster, your eyes rolling to the back of your head that rubs him the wrong way

he runs his hand through his hair out of habit, reminding you even more that it's bleached and blonde yet for all the wrong intentions

“is asking you so wrong? why are you getting defensive?”

you snicker at his inquiry, hands across your chest that just challenges him to do the same

“what’s wrong is that you dyed your hair blonde for no other reason besides the fact that hoseok is!”

now that jungkook hears it from you, his eyes narrow

“can’t i just be inspired?” he snaps, “can’t i be inspired to look this way because you look at him in that way?”

what?

wHAT????

“what way, jungkook?”

seemingly caught in a blindspot, he tries to backtrack

“i-i’m not-“

you're having none of it and to be honest, you're not even sure if it just pure anger that you're feeling at the moment

“you spent hours in a salon, is that it?" you prod him and that makes jungkook avoid your eyes, huffing under his breath, "got jimin to help you out?" that actually hits a nerve on him and makes his eyes zero in on you with much annoyance, "what did you go through just because you’re so inspired?”

“you look at hoseok like you’re in love with him!”

“i’m not in love with hoseok, jungkook!" you articulate every word but even that seems to anger jungkook further, "why would you even think of that?”

“because you’re only supposed to look at me that way. y-you’re not supposed to go to brunch with a guy alone when you just met him. you’re not supposed to lend him your headbands when he can just buy them! you’re not supposed to do the things you’d do with me with other guys!”

“he’s my friend. just like yoongi and jin are. i can do these things with them but that doesn’t mean i love you any less.”

jungkook rolls his eyes and even your profession of love doesn't budge him at all

“there you are with your guy friends again.”

“what’s that supposed to mean?”

you feel him treading to dangerous territory but you stand your ground regardless, your voice shaking when you add

“yoongi and jin came into my life way before you did, jungkook.”

it was to simply remind him but he feels as if it's out of spite, looking at you pointedly before patronizingly chuckling

“i know. i can never win with you, that’s it, right? just because you’re older than me by a year and you have friends that want to beat me up — you always win!”

his voice raises by the end of his sentence and it's his words that make you grind your teeth together and your nostrils flare, lip dangerously close to trembling

“i’m sorry if i’m jealous and i don’t know what to do because this is the first time i’ve become a boyfriend, alright?"

jungkook throws his head back and gestures to you, shaking his head while he's so close to crying because of his pent-up insecurity

“i’m sorry that i don’t know what to do and you always do because you probably had like ten boyfriends before me, right?? i’m so inexperienced and new to you that you can’t even stand me and-“

..

there's pin-drop silence in the room.

jungkook only realizes his words belatedly and the weight that they carry, eyes in a stand-still on you who looks the furthest thing from being appeased at him

you're actually hurt.

“how dare you, jungkook.”

your fists are balled to the point that the tips of your fingers feel numb from the pause in circulation, but oddly enough, jungkook feels the most remorseful when he sees your figure deflate and therefore relax

“don’t come home, it’s pouring. or go back to your dorm, whatever. i don’t care.”

he's planted by his feet but he realizes to move when you're walking out of your own dorm, prying away his hand from your elbow

“you can sleep in my room. i’m sleeping out tonight.”

.

.

.

part two

as always, lmk what you think!! i love answering asks :D what do you want to see from the lunchbox lovers next? send them here <3

[can-youimagine]

Round of Golf (Tom Holland x Reader)

Summary: Tom convinces you to go golfing with him, and you will do anything to get out of it

TW: Smut (18+, minors interacting will be blocked), feminine reader, mention of the pandemic, mention of periods, swearing, exhibitionism, public nudity, unprotected sex

Word Count: 1438

A/N: This is my first published smut piece, so please be nice

Masterlist

It is no secret that Tom loves golf. You, on the other hand, hate golf. You are absolutely terrible at it, and in the almost two years you have been dating, you have managed to avoid golfing with him. Excuses like your period, feeling sick, needing to see a friend, and shopping emergencies were taken from you as soon as the pandemic forced you to spend all day, everyday, with Tom.

Tom knew this. That is exactly why, as soon as restrictions started to ease up, he asked, “Do you want to go golfing with me this weekend?”

“Are you sure it’s safe?” Of course, he knew it was safe. It is outside, and you already stay away from the other golfers.

“I’m sure. If you feel unsafe, we can leave.”

“Fine,” you give in, unable to come up with a good excuse. He does a little happy dance before you interrupt him. “But, you have to promise not to laugh at me.”

He promises, and you begin planning how you are going to get out of this. Luckily, a sale on tennis skirts helps you.

Saturday comes quicker than expected. You are just finishing your makeup when Tom calls “Babe, you ready?”

“Yep!” you answer, adjusting your skirt one last time before heading down to meet Tom. “Let’s go.”

Your outfit seems to have the desired effect. As you walk down the stairs, your shirt is just cut low enough that he can watch your breasts bounce, and your skirt, which is way too short for you to ever in public, gives Tom a great view of your panties.

“Are you sure you want to wear that?” he asks, not so subtly trying to hide his erection.

You frown, making a show of spinning around to look at your outfit. “Something wrong? I just got the skirt for today.”

He shakes his head. “No, no. You look great. Let’s just get going.”

Once you get in the car, you realize that unless you do something, you will have to golf. You spend the entire ride to the course fidgeting in your seat, constantly crossing and uncrossing your legs in hopes he will do something. It’s useless. He keeps his gaze fixed on the road in front of him.

He is serious about getting you golfing.

He finally gets you checked in and on the course. This is not how you wanted your day to go. You are going to golf, and Tom seems to have calmed down now. There seems to be no way out of this.

Tom is completely in his element. He takes the first swing, waiting for the ball to land before handing the club to you. “Your turn.”

You watch as he places the ball on the tee for you. “I have no clue what I’m doing.”

“Take a swing, love.”

“Help me?”

“Not yet. I wanna see if you are actually as bad as you say you are.”

“So, you’re just going to let me embarrass myself?”

“Of course not, love. Next group doesn’t come start for another hour. You’re only going to embarrass yourself in front of me.” He kisses your forehead. “I’ll help you with the next stroke.”

You roll your eyes. You try your best; you do, but your best is still pretty terrible. While the ball goes far, it lands off the course with the weeds and trees. Tom starts to laugh but quickly stops when you glare at him.

Tom explains exactly what you need to do as you make your way to the ball. Now that you are completely fed up with the game and completely alone, you try everything you can to get out of the rest of this game.

“Let’s work on your stance first.” Tom moves to stand behind and help you, but when you bend too far forward, he stops. Your ass is on full display for him.

“Like this?” you ask, looking up at him with big, doey eyes.

“N-no, you, uh, you need to stand up a little straighter.” He demonstrates the stance he wants. “Like this.”

You purposefully overcorrect, standing much straighter than him. “This?”

“Still not quite.”

“Could you help me?”

He nods. “S-sure.” He stands behind you, arms over yours, but he stands back.

You roll your eyes. How can he be this serious about a game of golf? You push yourself back, body molding into his. You can feel his erection. Suddenly, you have hope. Maybe, if you just finish this hole, you can be done. You swing your hips with the club, making Tom stifle a moan.

“Good job.” He quickly pulls away from you. “Let’s keep going. Still have seventeen holes left.”

You finally hit the ball into the hole, and you jump in celebration. “I did it, Tommy!”

“Yeah.” He wishes he could be more excited, but he can’t stop watching your body. When you bend over to grab the ball out of the hole, your ass is on full display again. This time, though, he can see a damp patch beginning to form in your panties. He swears he could come right then and there.

But, he knows what you’re doing. He knew what you were doing the moment you put that fucking skirt on. You hate golf, and you are willing to do anything to get out of it. It takes every ounce of his self-control not to take you right there, in the middle of the green, and let you win.

You continue your antics for the next three holes before he finally does something. You get out of the golf cart, stretching as you do. He doesn’t even think that you mean to do it, but your skirt comes up and the side of the lacy waistband of your underwear is exposed. He grabs it before you have a chance to stop him, tugging them down to the middle of your thighs.

“Take them off yourself, or I will.”

This is certainly not how you expected this to go. “What?”

He tugs on them, pulling you over to him. “I said, ‘Take them off yourself, or I will.’”

You take too long to answer. He pulls them harder, ripping them in half.

“We’re playing the rest of the course. You’re playing the rest of the course.” He barely manages to pocket the panties before he realizes his mistake. You are completely alone, so you have no reason to stop. He just made his life, quite literally, much, much harder.

You bend over to place the ball, and he can now see everything. You are glistening. As much as he wants to use the empty course to his advantage. He doesn’t. He makes the two of you play through the course.

With nothing to catch your arousal now, he watches as it drips down your thighs and soaks the edge of your skirt. He spends the entire game watching you get wetter and wetter. Hole eighteen could not have come sooner.

“Tommy?” you ask with big eyes. “Can you help me?”

He’s almost made it the entire game. He can’t let you win.

“Please?”

That’s all it takes. He marches over to you, wrapping his arms around you. He pulls you flush against his chest. His cock twitches under you. “For both of our sakes, you better finish this hole quickly.”

You don’t have enough of a mind to tease Tom further. You have finally resigned yourself to finishing the game. At least you are going to get something at the end.

You finally, finally, hit the ball in the hole. As you bend down to get the ball, Tom comes up behind you, grabbing your hips and pulling you against him.

“You knew exactly what you were doing when you put on that little skirt, didn’t you?”

You whimper as he slides his hand between the two of you to unzip his pants. “I didn’t want to golf.”

“You made that clear. Is there something you would rather do?” He lines himself up with your entrance, waiting to push until he hears you whisper, “You.” That’s all it takes for him to push into you. You let out an embarrassingly loud moan at the contact, and you are incredibly grateful that you are the only two here.

Because of how much you had worked each other up throughout the game, it only takes a few thrusts before your orgasm washes over you. You would be embarrassed if Tom hadn’t finished so soon after you, biting your shoulder to keep himself quiet. “You are never, ever, golfing with me again.”

[inkandpen22]

The Princess and The Pogue (pt. 4)

Pairing: JJ x Female!Reader / Topper x Female!Reader

Word Count: 5.5k

Warnings: swearing, angst

Part Summary: You wake up at the Chateau in JJ’s arms. When you receive a urgent call from Topper, you return to the Figure 8, much to JJ’s dismay. 

Masterlist

You wake up to the sound of a faint buzzing. A small groan leaves your throat as you attempt to stretch out your limbs, but are trapped beneath the weight of an arm. Your eyes flicker open and adjust to the golden rays pouring in from the window. JJ doesn't even shift, completely unaware of your moving. You recognize the sound of your phone buzzing and dig around the recliner. You two must've fallen asleep during the movie. Kiara and Pope remain on the floor, sprawled out like starfish. The couch is empty, John B and Sarah are probably in his room. You finally manage to find your phone beneath JJ's hip. You do your best to slide it out without waking him. Slowly, you climb out of the chair, placing JJ's arm down gently. 

“Hello?” You whisper, suppressing a yawn as you step out to the porch to not wake the others. 

“Hey, Princess," Topper's worried voice echoes through the device. "Did I wake you?”

 You settle down on the couch in a ball, shaking your head as if Topper can see you. “No, No, it’s okay," you lie for his sake. "Is everything alright?” 

“It’s Rafe..." he sighs. "He kinda got outta hand last night and he hasn’t been to bed yet. He keeps saying he’s going to go to your house. I don’t think your parents should see him like this.” 

“What?" Your brows scrunch together in confusion. Slowly, the events of last night are creeping back to you. You remember all of it, but some parts are only flashes like photographs. "I’m not even home.” 

“Wait, where are you then?” Topper questions, sounding just as confused as you. 

“I uh... I stayed at Sarah's," you conjure up on a whim. 

“Okay..." he replies, not sounding fully convinced. "well do you think you could stop by my place or something? Rafe won’t shut up until he sees you. Thank God my mom left for Atlanta this morning. I can pick you up if you need.” 

“No, it’s okay. I’ll uh... I’ll borrow Sarah’s car or something. I’ll text you when I’m on my way," you determine. 

“Okay, see you then," Topper agrees, hanging up the phone. 

You drop the device in your lap, resting your forehead against your knees. None of this feels real. What are you even doing here? One minute you and Topper are stumbling out of the locker room and the next you're making out with JJ in a hammock. Holy shit, you made out with JJ in a hammock! Topper is going to kill you! He can't know. No, he can never know. 

“Morning Baby," JJ greets as he steps out onto the porch. He rubs his eyes as he walks over to join you. 

“Morning, sorry that I woke you up,” you apologize. 

"Don't be." He plops down next to you, bringing his arm to rest between your tucked legs. His hand is warm against your exposed knee. A part of you wants to cling to him like a koala, but your mind is also on Topper. "Who was that?” He yawns. 

“Topper," you answer truthfully, though it was hesitant. "Apparently, Rafe is acting out and keeps asking for me. I’m gonna head over there to calm him down a little." 

“Wait, what!" JJ's eyes widen, processing what you said. "By yourself?” 

“JJ, it’s okay! It’s just Topper and Rafe,” you snicker at his dramatic reaction. 

“Yeah! Rafe!" He repeats, turning his body toward you. His arm between your legs moves to your back and is replaced with his free one. "The guy who gave you laced weed, Babe!" 

Your lower lip pouts slightly as you're appreciative of his concern though it's not necessary. Impulsively, you bring your hand to his cheek and he leans into your touch subtly. “It’ll be fine, we’re not going to do anything. I’m just helping out Top. Once we get Rafe to chill I’ll be out of there.” 

“I’m driving,” he names his terms sternly. 

Your lips part as worry starts to build up inside you. “JJ, I don’t think that’s such a good idea. I-“ 

“I wasn’t asking," he cuts you off sharply, his lips pressed together. “Either I go with you and wait in the car or you don’t go at all," he offers an ultimatum. 

'Okay, that's hot,' you think to yourself. 

You sit stunned for a second. As much as you hate the name, you're still the Princess of the OBX, no one talks to you like that or gives you ultimatums. Yet, you can't help but be utterly compliant when it comes to JJ Maybank. 

“Okay," you nod, trying your hardest to not blush, but ultimately fail. "As long as there’s no Pogue vs. Kook fistfights," you add to the rules. 

JJ notices your eyes wandering to his lips and leans forward with a smirk. “I can’t make any promises.” 

You grin as JJ brushes his lips against yours, bringing you in for a kiss. When he woke up JJ was nervous that he fucked up last night and that you'd regretted everything. It's just JJ always assuming the worst to avoid disappointment. His arm on you was him testing the waters. After a second, once learning that you're not going to pull away, he deepens the kiss. Your fingers comb through his luscious hair and grip the roots slightly. His hand on your knee steadily glides down your skin, moving between your legs. 

"Oh no!" You gasp against his lips, realizing something. 

JJ jumps, breaking his lips from yours and flying his hands off. “Woah, what! Sorry!” He thought maybe his hand may have set you off or something. He’s not sure what your boundaries are or anything, everything is still so new. 

“I don’t have a change of clothes!" You tell him. 

“Jesus," he rolls his eyes, finally able to breathe again. "Wear my shirt you’re wearing,” he gestures to the black AC/DC shirt hanging on you. 

You raise your eyebrows. “And have them start a fight? No way! They'll know it’s not mine," you explain stressfully. 

"You're right, tell them it's your boyfriend's and to mind their own damn business," JJ determines with a carefree shrug. Only after a couple seconds does he process that he called himself your boyfriend, having not discussed that yet. 

You raise your brows at his remark. A faint laugh escapes you, as if that would go over well with the boys. “As much as I would love to, I don’t think that would go well considering Rafe is already losing his mind.” 

A rush of relief consumes JJ when you don’t reject him. In fact, he’s over the moon when you don’t deny that he’s indeed your boyfriend. 

“So..." JJ drags out, gliding your fingers up and down your thigh. "Did you give Topper a specific time?” 

“No, just that I’d be over as soon as possible." You smirk, already knowing what he's thinking. "Why?” 

"Because if I remember correctly," he purrs into your ear with a smirk. "We were rudely interrupted last night..."

 As much as you'd love to do what JJ has in mind, you owe it to Topper to show up at a decent time. "We have the rest of the day for that," you move back a little, much to JJ's disappointment. He groans, making you giggle. "If Rafe acts up any more than he already has and goes to my house I'm royally screwed." 

"Okay, fine! Fine!" He rises up from the couch and offering you a hand. "But I'm holding you to your word! I expect full tomfoolery later!" 

"Deal." You lean in and plant a peck to his lips, making him blush. 

JJ grabs the keys to the Twinkie while you wait outside. You go over the plan multiple times on the way over, mainly to ease your nerves. JJ will park a few yards down the road, hidden behind the hedges that line Topper's yard. You will tell Topper that Sarah dropped you off and that you'll walk home because you live a few blocks away. Checking on Rafe will only take twenty minutes tops, but you're aiming for fifteen. You've done this before, taking care of Rafe. Get sick, chug Pedialyte, have Mcdonald's delivered, and put him to bed. 

You text Topper as soon as you're on your side of the island. 

Heading over now! 

A minute later, you receive a response. 

Awesome! See you soon! Thanks again Y/N/N. Owe you one! 

JJ does exactly as planned, making sure the Twinkie can't be seen from Topper's house. Reluctantly, he lets you out without him. He warns though that if you don't text him or give him some sign that you're okay within the ten-minute time slot he's given that he'll come in after you. You promise that you'll text him a smiley face as soon as you get the chance. 

You knock on Topper's front door a few times and wait for the tall boy to answer. After a few minutes you call for your friends. "Top! Rafe!" 

"I don't want you! I want Y/N!" You hear from the backyard and make your way back. 

"She's on her way!" Topper shouts. 

"Dude! Just sit down!" You hear Kelce add. 

"Guys?" You pop your head around the corner and find Rafe standing on the edge of Topper's pool, fully clothed in his suit from the night before. 

"Y/N! Finally!" Rafe gleams, gripping a bottle of champagne in his hand. 

"Thank God," Topper grumbles to himself as he approaches you. "Thanks again for coming," he greets with a kiss to your temple. 

"Of course," you smile as you move toward Kelce. You give him a quick side hug as you greet everyone. "When did you get here?" 

"About five minutes ago," he answers, breathless from trying to keep Rafe from jumping in. "Apparently I'm not good enough because he keeps asking for you." 

"Hey, Rafe, what's up?" You call over to the boy as stumbles over to you. 

"Geez, you are the most gorgeous girl in the OBX," he grins. 

"Oh am I now? What have you been up to?" You asking, knowing the answer. He smells of weed, sweat, and stale alcohol. His suit will no doubt need some serious dry cleaning. 

"Eh, nothing too exciting," he waves his hand and places an arm over your shoulder. "After you disappeared from the party the boys and I went back to do a few more lines. It wasn't as fun without you. Where did you go anyway? We looked all over for you." 

JJ crosses his arms over his chest. "Yeah, where'd you go?" He repeats as if you didn't explain it before on the phone. 

You frown at your best friend. Why is he acting like that? "Sarah convinced her parents to give her the car and she took me to her house while her parents were are the party," you repeat the story you rehearsed with JJ. 

"But Sarah was still at the party after we lost you. She told your parents that you left..." Topper replies slowly, almost as though he's accusing you of something. 

"Yeah, I was waiting in the car," you answer without hesitation. 

"Right..." Topper nods with narrowed eyes. 

You roll your eyes at Topper and bring your arm around Rafe. "Let's get you inside." 

"I wanted to go for a swim," Rafe whines. 

"That sounds so fun," you pretend, silently begging him to go inside without any retaliation. "Sadly, I didn't bring my suit." 

"Come on, Y/N, it's not like I haven't seen you in your underwear before," Rafe chuckles as you cross the threshold of the sliding door. 

"Nice, Rafe," Topper sarcastically remarks. 

"Oh no, I think I'm gonna be sick," Rafe coughs, hutching over next to you. 

 "I got this one," Kelce shouts, moving to get his friend toward the bathroom. 

Now that Rafe is inside and in the "get sick" stage, you move on to ordering him McDonald's. Knowing Topper's house like the back of your hand, you walk into the kitchen, leaving the boy in the living room. You hop onto the counter, your legs dangle over the edge. As you tap through your phone, Topper enters the room. 

"Are you feeling better?" He checks on you with a smile, a complete 180 from the attitude he was giving you minutes before. "I was out of it but I vaguely remember us stumbling out of the locker room," he chuckles. 

"Yeah we kinda went a little too far last night," you giggle, recalling the memory. "But I feel much better." 

Topper nods, offering you a faint smirk. He parts your legs, resting his palms on your thighs. "I'm surprised Ward let you and Sarah take his new Porsche considering he won't even let Rose drive it." 

Your heart races, shit. You didn't realize Ward took the Porsche to the party. When Sarah got to John B's she was in a BMW. 

"He must've had a lot of whiskey or something," you ramble out. 

The boy nods, bringing his hands to your hips. "Interesting... and-" Topper scrunches his brows together, glancing down at your body. "What are you wearing right now?" 

Shit. 

"It's uh... Sarah's," you blurt out what JJ said before you can think it through. 

"Sarah owns a ripped-up AC/DC shirt?" Topper snickers, not believing you for a second. 

"What? You don't?" You try to play it off. 

"Did you end up borrowing Sarah's car?" He changes the subject quickly, making your furrow your brows. 

"She dropped me off," you stick to your story. 

"That's nice of her," Topper comments, stepping closer to you. Usually, you'd like having him so close, but there's an underlying tension between you that makes you anxious. 

"For sure," you mutter, avoiding his gaze. 

"So you need a ride home?" He offers. 

"Nah, it's okay. I'll walk," you rush out. 

Topper brings his hand to the collar of your shirt, his fingertips gliding across your collar bone to rest on the side of your neck. "I kinda needed to see your brother anyway." 

You swallow hard, trying to remain calm. "For what?" 

"We're supposed to go out to the course later," he matches your quiet tone. 

"Cool," you nod faintly, starring down at your lap. 

"You and that Pogue seemed friendly last night before I came over... " Topper insinuates. 

Your head snaps up, meeting Topper's burning gaze. "Pogue? What Pogue?" 

"The one bartending," he snickers mockingly. 

"The blonde kid? Oh, not really," your brows scrunch together, nervously fidgeting with your phone case. "I only met him last night, didn't even catch his name," you lie. 

Topper tilts his head to the side. "Isn't he friends with John B? He's been around the Cameron's place a few times." 

"I haven't noticed," you shrug.

You can't tell whether he believes you or not. His stern expression never wavering. You feel trapped with his hands gripping your hips. 

"He's certainly noticed you, hasn't he?" The boy remarks with a wicked smirk as he stares at your lips. 

You shift your head back, taken aback by his words. "What does that mean?" 

"Oh come on, Y/N," Topper mutters your name, not one of his usual nicknames. "You're telling me you didn't notice him looking you up and down? It's why I came over to the bar after your dance with Rafe. I already had a full whiskey on the table." 

You snicker at the information, utterly amazed by the lengths Topper will go. "You ordered a drink just because you thought JJ was "too friendly" with me?" 

Topper narrows his eyes at you curiously. "I thought you didn't know his name?" 

Chills course over your skin as your breath hitches in your throat. Now, you remember that you haven't texted JJ and you're not sure how long it's been. 

"You want to tell me what's really going on, Y/N?" Topper presses. 

"Nothing's happening! I've gotta go," you snap, pressing a hand to his chest to urge him off of you. 

Topper grabs your wrist, removing your hand from him. Abruptly, he slams his lips to yours. Desprately, he brings his free hand to the back of your neck, pulling you closer to him. 

"Get-" you mutter against his lips as you try to fight him off. Instinctively you punch him in the chest, causing him to break from you. "Get off of me!" You gasp, hopping down from the counter as Topper stumbles back. "What the hell Topper!" 

His eyes grow wide, comprehending what he's done. He reches for you, but you cower away. "Y/N, I-" 

"No!" Your voice cracks as tears threaten to fall from your eyes. "You don't just get to do that whenever you feel like it! I'm not at your disposal when you want me!" 

He nods frantically. "I know that! I didn't-" 

"Ugh, whatever Top. I'm tired of this interrogation! You and Kelce can babysit Rafe without me!" You wave your hands as your march out of the room toward the front door. 

"Y/N! Y/N, wait!" Topper calls after you. "Y/N!" 

He follows you out the front door to the driveway in a panic. He can't believe he just kissed you, the one thing he swore he'd never do without your permission. He was just so desperate. He could feel you moving away from him and was panicking that maybe you were keeping something from him. 

"Y/N!" Topper wraps his fingers around your wrist. 

You yank your arm free as you spin on your heels to face him. "Don't grab me!" 

"Don't walk out on me!" He barks, instantly regretting it. 

Topper knows this isn't the way to get to you, but he's just so worried that you're slipping away. This wouldn't be the first time you two have fought this way, having it out in front of one of your houses. Similar to an old married couple, you two fight as passionately as you love each other. 

"You don't own me, Topper!" You remind the boy. 

"I'm just looking out for you!" He reasons in a shot. 

"You're the one who's acting like my dad right now!" You scoff. 

"Oh!" He laughs mockingly. "Is that what being an overbearing friend is called now?" 

You huff, turning over your shoulder to continue down the driveway. 

Topper stays where he is, yelling at you as your march away. "You know what, fine! Don't tell me what's going on! I just thought we were closer than that! I must've misunderstood all of last year, all of those late-night conversations and that weekend in Bermuda or all of winter break!" 

"Oh, my lord!" You groan, tossing your head back as you stop in your tracks. "Stop being so dramatic!" 

"What's he doing here?" Topper questions, his volume at a normal level. 

You frown, following his eyes as they linger behind you. Turning over your shoulder, you spot JJ standing at the end of the driveway. 

You hide your face in your hands. "Oh, Jesus-" 

"You have to be kidding me!" Topper shouts with a chuckle of frustration. 

"JJ, can you give us a minute?" You request calmly, giving the blonde a weak smile. 

"You brought him! You bring a Pogue!" Topper can't help but laugh, shocked by how this day has gone to complete shit in a span of fifteen minutes. 

Nervously, you rush over to Topper, pressing your hands to his chest. "Top, just go inside, okay!" You try your best to keep the situation civil. "I'll be inside in a minute-" 

"You're on the wrong side of the island, Pogue!" He points to JJ over his shoulder. 

"Just stick a cork in it, Prince Charming," JJ bites back from his spot. 

You huff, using all your strength to push a stubborn Topper toward the front door. He towers over you and is much stronger than you, so it's a tall task. 

"Prince Charming? Really!" Topper laughs. "Wow, got a real smartass here, Princess," he tells you. 

"Just for the love of all that good and holy go inside!" You beg of him with a grunt as you continue to guide him inch by inch. 

"Not until you get this trailer park trash off my driveway!" Topper bitterly remarks, loud enough for JJ to hear. 

"JJ and I will go as soon as we're done here," you tell him calmly with a huff, giving up on moving him. 

You step back, preparing to leave, but Topper grips your forearms. "No way you're leaving with him! No, you're staying here with us!" 

When Topper grabs you, JJ loses all cool and storms toward your friend. "Touch her again and I'll kick your ass, Kook!" JJ likes to think he's been rather rational and on his best behavior up until this point considering Topper is treating you as his property. 

"JJ! Don't!" You intercept the boy and though he could easily move you aside, he remains in your arms. 

"As if I'd leave her with your tripped-out friend and cluster of misogynistic asshole!" He points at Topper aggressively. 

"You don't know a thing about us, Pogue!" Topper pushes. 

"Topper! Enough! JJ back off!" You instruct sharply. 

With a growl, JJ walks back down the driveway, refusing to turn his back on the Kook. Cooling down slowly, he takes your hand, squeezing it tightly as he leads you toward the sidewalk. 

"You leave with him now and we're done!" Topper declares, making you stop in your tracks. "I mean it! You leave now and you're a Pogue!" 

"You don't mean that," you shake your head in disbelief. 

He laughs wickedly, "I promise you I do! It's them or us! You can't have both, Y/N!" 

It feels as though Topper has sucked all life from you. The light that he's kept going inside of you for so long has burned out. He's been your reason to be happy since you were kids and now he's threatening to desert you forever. All because you're falling for a Pogue. 

Kelce and Rafe appear in the archway of the front door. Kelce frowns, "what's going on out here?" 

"What's that Pogue doing here?"  Rafe questions. He sees your grieving expression and his wild antics become a distant memory. "Y/N?" 

You swallow hard, clenching your jaw in disgust at the Kook you once called your best friend. "Ask Topper!" 

You yank your hand free of JJ's and run down the driveway in the direction of the Twinkie. JJ jogs after you worriedly. He unlocks the car and you rush to get in. As soon as you sit down, you hunch over in your seat, your head cradled in your hands. JJ climbs in next to you and starts the car. He glances over at you and a wave of guilt consumes. He can't help but think this is all his fault. If he hadn't gone to check on you, maybe Topper wouldn't have said what he did. You wouldn't be devastated and you'd acknowledge his presence. 

JJ places a hand on your back. "Baby-" 

Before JJ can finish you cower away from him, moving your body toward the window. His heart drops as a million worst-case scenarios start to play in his mind. You hate him. You hate him now because he cost you, Topper. Of course, he already thought about what it would mean if you had to choose between him or Topper. He just had a naive inkling of hope that maybe you'd choose him and be okay, be happier with him. Now, he realizes by your disgust of him that you would've chosen Topper if Topper didn't push you toward JJ. 

_________________________________

The ride back to John B's is painfully silent. JJ had to turn on the radio five minutes in to drown out the overwhelming self-deprecating thoughts ringing in his mind. As soon as JJ rolls up to the end of the gravel driveway, you see the Pogues and Sarah gathered around the old bonfire eating breakfast. Not wanting to see them, you hop out, the car not even in park yet. 

"Hey guys! Where have-" Sarah stops as she sees you run into the house. JJ climbs out of the van and slams the door shut, grumbling various cuss words to himself. "What's wrong with Y/N?" Sarah asks him once he's closer to the group. 

"Topper called her this morning," the boy answers, pressing his lips together as he sits on an empty log. "Your brother was acting up and wouldn't chill out until he saw her. Long story short, I fucked up and intervened when things got tense with her and Topper," JJ hisses, clasping his hands together. "Topper told her that if she left with me that they wouldn't talk to her again so we left..." 

The group is silent, exchanging worried glances. Sarah's jaw is nearly in the dirt. She never thought in a million years that Topper would ever say those words to you. JJ's knee shakes up and down as he hides his head above his knees.  He rises to his feet, picking up an empty can from last night, and chucks it into the words with all his strength. "Y/N won't even fucking look at me!"

"That's not your fault, JJ," Kiara assures her friend, breaking the silence. "You did the right thing! Topper is a jerk!" 

"She'll come around. It's probably for the best that she's cut off from them. Those guys aren't good for her," Sarah adds. 

JJ exhales deeply, facing Sarah. "Do you know what happened last year or in Bermuda and Topper said something about winter break?" 

"Oh..." the girl's face falls. 

"What is it? Is it bad?" John B asks from beside her. 

"Not exactly. Topper and Y/N... Well..." she struggles to come up with the right words. 

You and Topper struggle to navigate your way through the pitch-black bungalow. You two have just gotten dropped off from the cantina in town. Half an hour before, Topper was doing body shots off of you. The boy leads you through the house, his hand wrapped tightly around yours. Through the moonlight, you notice a pillar right in Topper's path. 

“Watch out!” You gasp, tugging Topper back. 

“Oh shit!” He stumbles into you, pinning you against the wall. 

“I told you to watch out!” You giggle and peek around the corner into the living room. “Oh my god!” Your hand flies up to your mouth. 

“What! What is it?” Topper rushes out. 

“Rafe and that girl from Brazil,” you whisper, suppressing your laughter. 

“No way! You’re kidding!” Through the darkness, you can see Topper's eye grow wide as he steps to the side to see around the corner. 

“On the couch!” You instruct drunkenly. 

“Did they?” He wonders. 

“I have no idea!” You giggle. 

“Holy shit!” Topper laughs as he returns to stand in front of you. 

“He was blasted tonight,” you remember. “Poor Kelce went to bed as soon as we got back." 

“I didn’t mind it,” Topper mutters, gliding his fingertips up and down your arm. “Kinda liked it being just us...” 

“Topper,” you whisper his name warningly, a smile on your lips. 

“What?” He chuckles lightly, leaning in closer to you. 

You shake your head, finding it hard not to blush. “We broke up almost a year ago. You and Sarah-“ 

“Are broken up," he finishes. 

“Yeah, and remember how devastated you were no more than two weeks ago?" You try to reason with him. "You still need to heel and figure out what you want.” 

“I want you," he whispers, brushing lips against yours. 

“Top, I don’t think-“ 

Before you can finish, he kisses you softly. It's not the first time and you know in the back of your mind it likely won't be the last. 

“You’re all I think about, Y/N,” he confesses against your lips. “I need to feel you again. I miss the way you taste.” 

“Top...” You mutter breathlessly. 

You shake your head, despite not stopping him. “We shouldn’t...” 

“We deserve to, don’t we? After everything?" He reasons, tucking his fingers over the band of your panties. "You like me and I like you, we’re both single, there’s history, why can’t we?” 

A million reasons cross your mind, the most important one, your friendship. You and Topper have always been complicated. Things get worse when you add sex to the mix, which is exactly why you two formed boundaries a while back. Then again, you two toss those boundaries out the window every time you drink too much. 

One hand remains on your waist as the other slips down to the hem of your dress. His warm fingertips glide under the fabric, against your thigh. “Don’t you miss it? How we used to be? When we couldn’t get enough of each other," he smirks as a memory pops into his head that he's certain will get to you. “Our ski trip over Christmas.” 

“Okay yeah, you win," you rush out, instantly pressing your lips to his desperately. 

Topper snickers against your lips as he tucks his hands behind your legs and picks you up. Your legs wrap around his waist he just so happens to know effortlessly the direction to his room now. Though he was completely lost minutes before. 

"They dated!" Pope's jaw nearly hits the gravel. 

"No way!" John B wears a similar expression. 

"Yes and no. It's more complicated than that," Sarah tries to explain 

Kiara struggles to piece together the picture. "But I thought you two-" 

"They were friends with benefits before we were dating. Then, when Topper and I started dating, they stopped. Topper and I took a break in the winter and they started up again but stopped after Y/N decided that she couldn't do it anymore. Finally, they all went to Bermuda for a week after Midsummers. They didn't plan on anything happening, according to Y/N, but it kinda just did. They've always had "a thing" for each other. It's only ever been a fling though," Sarah finally manages to lay out the hectic story. 

"And you're okay with that?" Kiara frowns, wondering how Sarah fits into all of that. 

"Nothing happened while we were together," she shrugs but is certain of her words. "I know without a doubt that Y/N would never do that to me. Plus, it was never dating-like... it was more hook-up-ish if that makes sense?" 

"This is insane!" JJ finally voices his perspective, rubbing his hand across the back of his neck. 

"I need a diagram," Pope adds. 

"Wait, so Topper and Y/N are on-and-off again. Meanwhile, Rafe has a thing for Y/N. Does Kelce play a role in any of this?" John B brings up a good point. 

Sarah shakes her head. "Not that I know of." 

"That's one fucked up love triangle," Pope releases a pent-up sigh. 

"This is why we have the "no Pogue-on-Pogue macking" rule. That friend group is a mess!" Kiara reasons. 

"Topper and Y/N have always been super close," Sarah describes solemnly considering the recent turn of events. "She must be devastated! Even if he is an ass. He's only ever been good to Y/N. I was low-key jealous of her when I first started seeing Topper. He holds her up on this pedestal," she admits. 

Suddenly, the screendoor creaks, making everyone turn their attention toward the house. Y/N marches out, back in her dress from last night. 

John B breaks the silence. "Hey Y/N! Where are you-" 

"Sarah, can you drive me home?" You ignore the boy on your way to Sarah's car, unlocking it. 

Sarah stands slowly from her position. "Sure, but don't you-" 

"Thanks!" You cut her off, already climbing into the passenger seat and putting the keys into the ignition. 

"I'll... I'll be back later," Sarah stammers in confusion to her friends. 

Everyone watches as Sarah back out of the driveway then turns their focus to a devastated JJ. 

"I fucked it up. I fucked it up!" He screams, squeezes his hands into fists until his knuckles are white. 

"JJ, it's okay! She probably just needs a minute," Kiara rushes out. 

"I have her for two seconds!" He bursts, his face becoming red with frustration. "Two fucking seconds and I ruined it just like I ruin everything else!" 

"Just give it time!" Pope tries to reason with him calmly. 

"Goddammit!" JJ curses before bolting toward the driveway and out of sight. 

"JJ!" His friends all call for him. 

 "JJ come back!" John B shouts to receive no response. "Well this day is officially shit," the boy huffs as he settles back down onto his log. 

"Do you think they'll be okay?" Kiara worries. 

"Hope so," John B whispers. 

After Sarah drops you off, you hide away in your room for the rest of the day. All you do is cry. You already miss Topper more than anything. You need him. You'll always need him. Then, on top of that, you're torturing yourself for how you treated JJ. None of this is his fault, but you treated him like it was. You cowered from him to keep from crying. You didn't want to scare him away, but in the process, you pushed him away. While you're losing your mind, JJ is losing his outside his dad's house with a half-empty bottle of Jim Beam in his hand. He's looking to pick a fight. He figures that if he's in pain physically that the pain he's inflicting on himself mentally will go away. You started the day wrapped up in each other and in bliss. You're ending it both in pain and willing to do anything to make it go away. 

________________________________________________________

Masterlist

Tags: @starkeythinker @bethii1 @thegunnerkelly @cc13723things @hockeybabe87​ 

[moonlightchildz]

wild; j.h

summary: jung hoseok had the tendency in driving you wild while fucking you senseless.

tags: M, established relationship, smut, creampie, fingering, domestic!hoseok, somewhat of spit play, slight degradation, drug usage (weed)

“So you do this,” Hoseok began showing you how to roll, his eyebrows furrowing in deep concentration. He was too busy trying to demonstrate to you how to properly do it as you watched him in fascination. He was just too cute to not pay attention to. From the way he slowly bit down on his lower heart shaped lip to the way his pretty hands looked underneath the dim lighting in his back porch.

In his thighs he had a basic raw tray, and you were peering up at him in admiration even though what he was doing wasn’t exactly the most legal thing he should be doing at the moment. His wavy hair was swept on the sides, heart shaped lips looking kissable right there and then. He was humming, concentration passing beyond 100 percent and right then your heart sighed. Followed by it fluttering once you saw the tip of his tongue begin to lick the tobacco leaf. His short, manicured nails were turning the half made blunt in his hands, tongue shutting it sealed. 

He was always detailed, precise, and quick when it came to rolling his shit. One of the things that fascinated you of him was how he was constantly putting his all in literally everything. His work, his dancing, his rolling, his goals, ambitions, and everything that made him into the person that was Jung Hoseok was magnified even more by his sheer beauty. So as your boyfriend occupied himself in finishing it, you let your thoughts wonder straight down to the gutter. Hoseok was always fucking phenomenal with his hands and mouth. That was something he was definitely cocky of and with every damn right he should be. The first night you two were intimate he had fingered fucked you into oblivion and ate you out until you felt like you were defying gravity.

“And that’s how you perfectly roll a blunt,” he cockily finished, holding the ending product out towards you. You tried to compose yourself, tried to make it look as if you were paying attention from the beginning, but it was too late. He had caught you.

He sighed once he glanced up through his long, thick lashes. “You weren’t even paying attention, y/n.”

You impishly smiled, eyes crinkling as you leaned forward. “I’m sorry,” you began, though not feeling sorry at all. “You’re just really...wow.” you lamely tried to express just why your attention span was shit.

He looked annoyed now and you simply giggled to yourself since your boyfriend always tended to take instructing so damn seriously. But hey, he was a pretty damn great instructor. A really, pretty and beautiful one. A hot one too.

He however was not the least amused. Judging by the way he was gazing at you with a pouty mouth, you knew you were bound to get an earful. “Just because we’re dating doesn’t give you the excuse to slac—” he began, and even when he was reprimanding you, you still viewed him as your beautiful, breathless, and irresistible lover.

“You’re not even paying attention right now!”

Sheepishly, you just leaned into him with apologetic hands already framing his squishy cheeks. His words slowed down and lowered to a mutter once upon seeing you so close to him, as if catching him off guard. And just like a charm, your spell had already rendered him speechless as usual. With a tiny, but cocky smirk you teasingly brushed your lips against his, fingertips slowly caressing his skin, admiring him up close.

A hot whisper left your lips, “I’m sorry baby, I really didn’t mean to.”

Hoseok just grinned against your mouth before he slowly leaned in, eyes set on you until they fluttered to a close as he softly kissed you. Your hands slowly abandoned his face, lips molding against each other’s. You let yourself clung onto your boyfriend, arms winding around his neck as his hands began to encircle you. His hands were already working their way underneath your dress, fingertips ghosting your sensitive thighs all while he slowly began to unravel you with just the magic of his lips. 

 He quickly eased into you once your hands began to tug at the hair strands at the nape of his neck. His body was turning towards you, mischievous fingers squeezing and bruising your bare thighs. It didn't take long before you were already crawling on top of his thighs, blunt forgotten now. You caressed his face, admiring his beauty before you turned and leaned backwards into his arms.

“Am I forgiven now?” you softly teased, a smile edging your lips. “I promise I’ll pay attention next time.”

“You were staring at literally anything but at the blunt,” he said, amused now. His hands were on your thighs once again, gently squeezing part of one. However your eyes were mainly fixated on his swollen pink lips. “It’s cute actually, even though you have the attention span of a squirrel though.”

“I’m sorry,” you brushed your lips against his, momentarily catching his bottom lip with your teeth. “It’s just, I have a really, and I mean, really, hot boyfriend you see, and uh I can’t help myself when he’s looking at me like that.”

His light brown hair covered his eyes so you ran your fingers through his wavy strands, wanting to see your man in all perfection in this dim lighting. There was a soft breeze, reminding you of the ocean that was just a couple feet away from the both of you. The both of you were in the comfort of his home, alone, enjoying the water nearby, and being wrapped up in each other for as long you both needed. Tonight was just barely the beginning for the two of you.

 He was already shaking his head, shyly uttering out, “Yaaa, stop it.”

You noticed how his cheeks were flushed, bashful smile luring your heart into his mercy.

“I am so serious right now, baby,” you purred out, lips tracing the underside of his jaw until you could feel his breathing fan your skin. You could feel his breathing pick up, fingers tightening around whatever part of your body he could grasp at the moment.

You felt him begin to grin, and as you glanced up, your wandering hands had managed to loosely wrap around his neck.

He quirked up an eyebrow, “Oh, really?”

“Mhm,” you nodded eagerly.

His hands were already framing your face, kissing you deeply before you could respond. His tongue was making love to you as your hips slowly began to move against his. Your fingers slowly made their way up his shirt, roughly fisting it. God, right now all you wanted was to run your fingers down his skin, kiss every part of his body, and leave love bites to adorn his melanin skin. Every fiber of your body wanted nothing but to feel your lover against your warm body. You wanted nothing more than having his plushed lips suck your sensitive skin into his mouth.

Hoseok’s fingers tangled in your hair, pressing your mouths together as you panted out against his lips. You felt your hips move on their own, rocking your whole body against Hoseok’s hardening cock. You could feel your underwear dampen as the tip of his cock brushed against your center each time you moved your hips. Soft, keening moans emitted from your lips and it was driving him wild. Your whole existence drove him to utter madness. He just couldn’t get enough of you. Your hands were already bunging up his shirt, urging him to take that damn thing off already. As Hoseok pulled it over his head with one hand, your hands nimbly unbuttoned his shorts.

He was already hard, and the anticipation to feel him inside of you was already brimming out of you. He wasted no time in letting his fingers find your covered clit, his thumb gently brushing it in guided circles. His fingers stroked your sex, rolling it between his fingers in such a teasing motion. He was a teasing little fucker and his batshit smile was a dead giveaway.

“I don’t need it,” you whined out, hands stopping his fingers. As much as you loved his hands, you wanted his dick inside of you at the moment.

“You’re not wet enough,” he contradicted, trying to shush you. This time he slid your lacy underwear to the side and with his thumb on your clit and finger, he slowly continued playing with your pussy. He watched as you impatiently ran your hands to your breast. Thumbs stroking on your nipples as he coated his fingers with your juices. He began stroking you and you were a hot mess, lolling your head to the side, and slowly beginning to rut yourself against his magic, slender fingers. 

“Seokie, please,” you whined out, trying to feel him even more as urgently and desperately as possible. He simply curled his digits inside of you, dark eyes watching his princess beginning to lose control of herself once again. Fingers were digging into his shoulder blades, soft moans emitting from your reddened lips.

“H-Hoseok,” you cried out, strands of your damp hair attaching to your face. Your eyes were clamped shut, mouth pressed directly against his cheek. Hoseok simply gave you a peck on the lips, grinning like the Cheshire cat. He knew if he licked the pussy, you both would simply forget about the finished blunt and take care of business for the rest of the pending night.

“Please,” you kissed the side of his mouth, stopping his movements with your hand. You continued to leave wet opened mouth kisses all over his jaw, your breath ghosting the nape of his neck. His darkened gaze studied you, slowly sucking his fingers into his mouth with such delight. 

Once he was done, his hands cupped your cheeks, puffing your lips out to him. “You’re the most impatient brat,” he mused out, his smile just making your chest swell with pride and happiness. Yeah you were a brat, but you were his brat to deal with. Heart, soul, and body belonged to him wholeheartedly and completely.

He swiftly moved your panties a side, slowly sliding down a finger. “mhm,” he began, getting cocky since his girl was already dripping wet and mewling to get fucked. “I guess you were right, baby.”

His hands were firmly placed on your hips, guiding you over his thick, and veiny cock. His hooded gaze fervently landed on your face, watching as he teasingly rubbed your pussy against the tip of his cock. With each movement, you coated his dick with slick and he softly groaned at the delicacy, the blood rushing straight down to his dick. Your mouth was slightly ajar at the sensation that you couldn’t help but spread your thighs wider, having yourself rut against his cock with such teasing and slow movements. 

“Oh my god,” you murmured out against the crook of his skin, your tongue tracing his hot skin as your fingers dug into his back. You felt his cock twitch underneath you, and you knew he loved it when you were being such a dirty whore just for him. So you tugged at his earlobe, whispering, “I can’t wait to have my pussy stuffed with your cum.” 

You felt how slick your pussy was incredibly getting from swiveling your hips against his hardened, thick, and veiny cock. He was teasing as he nudged the tip of his cock inside your folds, and then slid it back out. He was practically biting back his groans, enjoying just how much you were already mewling. 

“Please,” you whimpered out, lips trying to find his swollen mouth in need. Your dilated pupils met his, cheeks were flushed already, and your fingers were beginning to wander all over his toned abdomen. Your heavy breathing fanned his mouth, foreheads were pressed against each other’s, and your eyes were trained on his. Bodies were overwhelmed to the point where Hoseok found himself pushing inside of you. Your breath hitched as you felt him, slowly fill you up.

“Oh fuck,” you softly moaned out at the feeling of his cock pulsing inside of you. Your slick covered thighs rubbed against his, driving Hoseok absolutely insane. All he wanted in that moment was to lick your mess away with his tongue and shove his fingers inside your wet cunt until you were a sobbing mess just for him. You felt him smirk against your skin as his hands grabbed your ass, and thrusted into you. 

“You take my cock so well, princess,” he grunted out as you slammed down against hips, meeting his thrust halfway. 

“Only for you,” you incoherently whimpered out, moaning afterwards as you rolled over him. His hands engulfed your back, helping you bounce right back up and slamming you down against him. Pants began to leave his lips, your soft whimpers and pleads of ‘more, more’ edging him on.

“Such a pretty princess,” he agreed, dark gaze taking in the way you rocked your hips so sensually. Your hands were matted into your head, his cock making you stupid dizzy.

“I-ah-I,” you incoherently cried out, eyes screwed shut, and nails digging into his shoulder blades. You felt your body arch, arms instantly wrapping around his neck as you felt sweat coat your skin and his. The sound of skin slapping and your wet pussy sliding out and slamming back down was all that echoed in the back of his porch. Hoseok was keen on watching the way his cock slid out of your pussy, edging mewls out of those sinning lips.

His hand grabbed a hold of your neck, halting your movements. His hand was large enough to cup the side of your face and right underneath the base of your throat. He teasingly nudged his thumb inside your mouth, knowing damn well how much you loved his hands. He was grinning down at you, amused at how fucked out you seemed to be and he wasn’t even done with you yet. As you glanced up at him, your hands caressed his flushed face, mouth finding his in seconds. His lips sucked your bottom lip into his mouth, saliva dripping down your chin as he nipped and licked away until you were begging against his mouth in such moans. 

“You want on your knees, or back?” he nudged your nose with his, his voice a bit huskier and slurred. There wasn’t a second thought as you responded, “Blow my back out.”

His hand was grabbing a hold of the back your neck as he lowered you down on your back, legs hanging from the edge of his settee. He didn’t even need to spread your legs apart from him since you were his whore and you loved doing that already. 

“Fuck,” he groaned out in disbelief. The sight of you looking completely disheveled and ready for more had him rendered speechless. 

He pinned your wrists above your head, tongue running up the side of your neck. His plumped lips peppered kisses down your collarbone, tongue sliding and tracing them to his liking. He was absolutely infatuated with you and his love language was marking his significant other. 

he released your arms, spitting out, “stay still, whore.”

you kept your arms crossed, chest heaving as hoseok grabbed a hold of his aching cock. he ran the tip of it against your glistening pussy, moaning at the soft whimpers emitting from your lips. your thighs were quivering and you were so fucking messy, mouth slightly ajar as he watched your hole clench around nothing but air. he slowly pushed himself inside of you, grunting at how you were swallowing him completely, mewling so fucking loud. it’s all he wanted to hear from you now and on.

“mhm, fuuck,” you choked out, your fingers desperately grabbing a hold of his arms to tug him upwards. you needed his lips on your neck, your collarbones, and him whispering the dirty things he would do to mess you up even more.

“baby likes it, huh? my cock?” he rasped out, lips ghosting the underside of your chin. he was grinning from ear to ear, watching as you arched your back for him, spilling nothing but your dirty sins out into the void.

“mhm, mhm,” you cried out, eyes fluttering to a close as he slid out and pushed himself all the way back in to the hilt. you swore you could feel the pulse of his cock drag against your walls, and you relished at how hoseok nipped at your soft skin. he bit down on your collarbones, then ran his tongue over, splattering his spit all over your chest just how you loved it.

he bottomed down, fingers digging into your thighs.

“oh my fucking god,” you moaned out loudly, head thrown back in absolute bliss. He was thrusting into you, his hips snapping with such fervor that had your head bouncing against the settee. at some point your fingers were holding on to the back of the settee, hands barely managing to grip on to it.

“More, more, please--” you kept repeating over and over again as your legs to quivered. With each thrust, you could feel the pulse of his cock hit every inch and corner of your sweet cunt.   

Perspiration coated his body and yours and the summer breeze made it even more exhilarating. The both of you too wrapped up in each other’s arms, lost in sense as he kissed your worries away and welcomed your most sinful desires. 

He shifted suddenly, gathering your right leg and pushing it to the side. His forehead was pressed against yours, mouths missing each other’s in desperate attempts to reach your high. You felt it bubbling up on your lower region, toes curling and on your slick covered thighs.

“So close,” you cried out, body shaking in his arms. Your nails were dragging down his back, edging him on. Hoseok kisses you, swallowing your moans into his mouth as he gave one last thrust, sending you into a state of euphoria.

You felt his cum begin to drip down your thighs, and as you tried to close your legs, Hoseok simply spread them wider for him. He would never get tired of seeing his cum leak down your thighs.

“Brat.” He pulled back, leaving you panting. you could barely breathe, much less try to at least sit up. so he delicately wrapped an arm around your body, helping you sit up right on his lap. he was quick in grabbing the soft towel, the pad of his fingertips ghosting your sensitive skin. you watched how his fingers nimbly cleaned you, imagining how they would feel being sucked into your mouth.

even as he spread your legs open to clean you up, he definitely noted the way your skin arose with goosebumps. it made him smile.

“I love you,” you smiled in return, your hands cupping his face, turning him so he could glance down at you.

“Yeah, yeah,” he huffed out and even while you were motionless, you still managed to punch him on the arm. He chuckled, and purposely kept on ignoring you until he was done cleaning you up completely.

“Hoseok,” you pouted and he leaned back into your clingy arms, kissing you dizzy again. His fingers were tender as they caressed your cheek, smile endless and eyes closed.

“I love you more, silly.”

content with that, you judged your nose against his before he said, “So, how about that blunt?”

You were already lighting it as you slightly leaned away from him. “Can you pass me your shirt? I’m cold.”

Hoseok threw you his shirt, shaking his head as he watched you deeply inhale. Sure, you didn’t pay attention to the rolling, but you sure as hell didn’t need teaching in smoking all of his shit. He watched as you paused momentarily to slide on his shirt and crawl over to him once again. your throne was his lap - specially his thick thighs - and he knew that already. his thighs and mouth were all yours.

You sat with your legs entangled with his, eyes half lidded, and a pouty mouth. “What?” He chuckled, his index finger bopping your nose rather cutely.

“Miss you,” you nuzzled your nose against the crook of his neck.

He let you into his arms before embracing you and pulling you tight against his chest. “I’m right here baby.” He muttered out as you passed him the blunt.

You sighed in contentment, smoke wafting the both of you as you nuzzled yourself on to him. you pressed your lips on the base of his throat, mumbling out, “I love you.”

Smoke emitted from his lips as he slowly crooned out, “You drive me absolutely wild, you know?”

“I love you.” you smiled widely at him. You would never get tired of saying those three words to him. Expressing your love to him was one of your most endearing features and he absolutely loved you for it. vocalizing your love for him was his own reward after making you cum countless of times.

He slowly kissed you, humming against your lips as you cheesed from these simple words. “Impossible, princess. I love you more.”

[ezzydean]

“ i could have lost you today! do you know what that would have done to me? ” - Peter & Stiles

Stiles manages to hold his tongue until they’re safely tucked away in Peter’s apartment. Away from their enemies and allies alike. Away from the world that seems so determined to take every last bit of Stiles’ happiness and chew it into mush before spitting it out to dissolve on the concrete of the abandoned strip mall parking lot that is his life, complete with weeds struggling to survive as they spring up through the cracks and crawl across the pitted concrete.

So maybe he needs to take a few deep breaths and step back from the cache of flowing words and artful descriptions his creative writing class has tucked away in his mind.

It doesn’t matter what words he uses. He’s angry and frustrated and on edge and the way Peter is looking at him like he wants to pin him down and gobble him up is not doing anything other than make him even angrier.

“That was dangerous, Peter. Dangerous and stupid and ridiculous and if I’m saying it was stupid? Me. The undisputed king of doing stupid shit without thinking it through? You know it was fucking stupid.”

“Oh please.” Peter rolls his eyes as he saunters towards his bedroom to change out of his dirty clothes. “I’m a werewolf, darling. There is very little in this world that can even leave a scratch that doesn’t heal within a few hours.”

“Yeah and one of those things is a band of pissed off hunters who have gone rogue, no longer follow a code, and are systematically taking out smaller packs one by one.” Stiles doesn’t bother to raise his voice. One: because he’s tired. Two: because he knows that Peter can hear him no matter where he is in the apartment, even if he whispered.

He throws himself on to the couch, spreading out over it so Peter will have to either move him, sit on him, or sit in the chair off to the side when he comes back. Yes he’s being a little bit petty. But he had just watched Peter throw himself into a fight with a bunch of off the rail hunters who were hellbent on destroying anything and everything supernatural that they could. It doesn’t matter that Peter managed to not get hurt this time. It doesn’t matter that Issac and Derek had swooped in with an almost eerily synchronized move to pull the attention off of Peter.

Stiles had still seen it. He had seen the blade oozing with the twisted version of wolfsbane these particular hunters had been known for. He’d seen it centimeters away from Peter’s chest before he had been grabbed by Isaac and yanked out of the way. A millisecond later and that blade would have been in Peter’s heart. He’s going to be having nightmares about Isaac being too late for weeks. About Isaac reaching out and the blade already in Peter’s chest. About Peter on the ground bleeding and gasping and fading away because this particular wolfsbane blend is made to be quick and vicious and damn near impossible to burn out of a werewolf’s system.

Stiles is good. He can do a lot of shit. And maybe, maybe, if they were mated or bonded or had claimed each other or whatever he’d be able to save Peter even on the brink of death.

But they’re not.

He appreciates being the one to warm Peter’s bed and he knows that neither of them are with anyone else. But they’re not really even with each other so it’s only a small consolation.

Peter looms over him and Stiles peels his eyes open and glares up at him. He doesn’t let his eye rake over Peter the way he wants to. Doesn’t let himself give in to these instincts to curl around Peter and protect him.

Peter doesn’t want that. Peter doesn’t want Stiles to take up that position in his life. In his bed? Sure. On his side in a fight? Definitely. By his side in life? No thank you. Peter’s made it pretty clear where Stiles stands in that regard.

He gestures for Stiles to move his legs and when Stiles refuses Peter raises his brows. “What has you in such a mood? I barely even got a scratch on me and the hunters were put in their place. Everyone wins. Except the hunters, who are dead now.”

“Barely got a scratch?” Stiles hops to his feet, rage flooding him so fast that Peter actually leans back when Stiles leans towards him. “Barely a scratch? You were, quite literally, a hairbreadth away from death, Peter. If Isaac hadn’t grabbed you when he did you wouldn’t be here now.”

“But I am. Here and unharmed.” Peter reaches out for him and Stiles bats his hands away. “It was a risk, Stiles. We all take them every time we go into a fight.”

“Not all of us take unnecessary risks, Peter. You’re the one who taught me that unnecessary risks are just that: unnecessary.” Peter crosses his arms across his chest and takes a step back from Stiles.

“Be that as it may I still don’t see what has you so upset about this whole thing. So I took an unnecessary risk. What is the big deal?”

“The big deal? The big deal is that I could have lost you today! Do you know what that would have done to me? What losing you would do to me?”

Peter stares at him for a moment, words sinking in, before he scoffs and looks off towards the windows.

“You’d survive just fine without me. I’m sure you wouldn’t even miss me for that long. There are plenty of others out there who would fall over themselves to be with you,” Peter says quietly.

“I don’t care. I don’t want any of them. I want you, Peter. I don’t care how many people out there would be willing to be with me. I didn’t choose any of them. I chose you.”

Peter’s lip curls as he lets out a growl. “Oh, please. I’m not a choice. You know it. I know it. Hell even the hunters who come to try and kill us all know that I am, at best, a convenient fuck for you.”

Stiles’ mouth is already open to snap back when the mention of hunters makes him snap it shut. The hunters had been talking amongst themselves just before Peter had leapt into the middle of them and the whole plan had gone out the window. Is that what they had been talking about? Is that what they had said?

He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly.

“Peter.” He waits until Peter drags his gaze from the windows and looks at him. “You’ve been my choice since before I even knew you were an option.”

“What?”

Well. This was either going to end in some really amazing sex and a new stage of their whatever they’ve been doing or it was going to ruin the best thing he’s ever had. But he is the undisputed king of doing stupid shit without thinking it through after all.

“You’ve been my choice since before I even knew you were an option,” he repeats. “The only reason I haven’t given in to my spark’s need to bond with you, to claim you as mine, is because you’ve never seemed to want anything more than a convenient fuck out of me.”

Peter’s eyes widen at ‘bond’ and ‘claim’ even as he winces at having the ‘convenient fuck’ part thrown back at him. He stares at Stiles and Stiles knows Peter is listening to his heartbeat and subtly scenting the air to measure the truth of Stiles’ words. Stiles learned a long time ago how to control his heartbeat and mask his scent but he had promised to never do it while the two of them were alone and fuck Peter is so blind if he can’t see all the ways Stiles bends for him where he’s steel for everyone else.

“You’ve never wanted that,” Peter finally whispers. “You’ve never—” He cuts himself off and shakes his head. “No.”

“I’ve wanted it since the day you gave me a key to your apartment and told me you trusted me with it. You. Peter Hale. Trusting me with the key to your apartment. The key to your safe—”

Well shit.

Peter was blind to how far Stiles was willing to bend for him and Stiles was blind to how much Peter had already bent by him by giving Stiles his trust.

“As much as I loathe to admit it about myself,” Peter says softly as he reaches out for Stiles. “We’re both idiots when it comes to each other, aren’t we?”

Stiles collapses into Peter’s arms with a laugh. “Yeah,” he huffs as he buries his face against Peter’s neck. “But I’m your idiot. And you’re my idiot. So I guess it works out in the end.”

“I guess it does, darling. I guess it does.”

[bugrry]

harry styles fic masterlist

let me know if there are issues w/ any of the links!!

❅ - angst

✿ - fluff

◈ - smut or suggestive themes

𖡼 in the weeds (with @thebigbutterflytattoo) ❅ ✿

“Hey, sweets, I brought you some—“

“Why are you here?” She interrupted him, narrowing her eyes.

“Oh, I just brought you some lunch! I thought we could sit down for a bit, let you take a breather.” He smiled, lifting up the paper bag. Maggie’s mouth watered at the idea of sitting down for an actual meal, but she shook her head. Gingerbread cookies, sugar cookies, and baklava prevented her from thinking about any other food.

“Harry, I don’t have time to sit down and have lunch with you. We’re slammed.”

𖡼 take his breath away ◈

“Can I do something for you tonight? Give you a treat?”

He whimpered at your quiet question, and you saw his throat bob with a hard swallow, “What- what kind of treat?”

“Don’t act stupid, H. I think you know what I’m talking about.” You giggled, moving to run your fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck.

𖡼 make him a daddy ◈

“You’ll take anything I give you, won’t you, sweet girl?” You nod desperately, going to close your mouth before he grabs your jaw with a bruising grip. “Did I say you could close your mouth? I don’t remember.” His grip is so tight on your skin that you can’t move your head, so he moves your head from side to side, giving him the answer he wants.

𖡼 the one with the pottery ✿

“Fine,” he sighed, “as long as you don’t make fun of me for my shitty pottery.”

You jumped up with a gasp, nearly squealing as you dashed out of the room. You didn’t make it very far before you turned around to poke your head back into his office.

“I will only make fun of you a little bit, but I am a fantastic teacher, so don’t expect your pottery to be shite for long.”

𖡼 bug lover!reader and h go on a picnic ✿

“Harry! Turn around, look! On the branch right above your shoulder! Oh my gosh!” Harry turned his head, trying to find what she was seeing.

“I don’t see what you’re seeing, love. You’ll have to point it out a little better.”

Y/N stood up abruptly and moved to where he was sitting. She plopped down right next to him and reached to turn his head in the direction of what she was seeing.

𖡼 h first calling the reader puppy ◈

“Where did puppy come from?” You say, sitting up to greet him as he makes his way over to the drawer to pull out something for both of you to wear. He throws you a t-shirt then pulls flannel pajama pants over his hips. He takes a seat on the edge of the bed, his brows furrowed.

“Puppy?” He asks, reaching over to rub softly at your legs.

“Yeah, you called me puppy, like, just before you came.” You say, smiling at the way he constantly has to have his hands on you.

𖡼 camgirl!reader x harry ◈ ✿

𖡼 coming out to h ✿ ❅

your head whipped up and stared at the front door, your heart beating so hard you could feel it in the back of your head. you hadn’t prepared enough, you still don’t know what to say, should you even tell him tonight? can’t it wait?

no, it can’t. you can’t chicken out again. it will be okay.

but what if he decides he hates you because of it?

𖡼 harry helping you through the loss of your dog ✿ ❅

Every time you went into the kitchen you always expect him to be behind you, his eyes shining and his tail wagging, waiting – always ever so hopeful – for you to drop something for him.

And every time you had to be reminded that he would never be there, waiting behind you in the kitchen or sleeping at your feet, because he was gone. Gone. Your best friend in the whole world, the one who had been with you since your freshman year of college, gone. These reminders only made you want to curl further up into your couch, so you did.

𖡼 h wanting to sleep on your boobs ✿

“what’s up, h?” you whisper.

“i can’t sleep,” he says softly, “i’ve been sitting here for hours, baby.”

you roll your eyes softly, chuckling, “harry, babe, we went to bed less than an hour ago.”

𖡼 bi!reader and a self-conscious harry ✿ ❅

“I just…” He sighs and looks back down at his mug, “It’s stupid, never mind.”

“If something’s upsetting you, then I want you to tell me. I don’t want you to just sit there and stew. Please talk to me?” You reach out, placing your hand on top of his. He looks at your hand and puffs out his cheeks, sighing again before looking up at you.

“Was she better than me?”

𖡼 h talking ab you on stern ✿

“we really hadn’t heard much about her before she started dating you, is there a reason you chose to go out with someone who’s not in the spotlight? someone simpler?”

“simpler?” harry snaps his head up from where he’d been staring at his shoes, “i wouldn’t call her simple. she’s a lovely girl, it’s just that fame isn’t for her. it’s not her thing. being in a relationship with her is as close to normal as i can get.”

𖡼 mr. man interrupting your interview ✿

“is harry doing anything to help you keep distracted?” at this question, harry’s head perks up from his spot and you chuckle as your eyes are drawn to him.

from across the room, harry says loudly “yeah, he is,” at the sound of his voice, james’ face lights up. harry quickly stands up and nearly runs over to where you are sat. “in more ways than one.” at this, you flush and whip your head to frown at harry, who has a cheesy and childish grin on his face.

𖡼 h helping you after a bad day ✿

“how did you know?” you murmur, your voice small.

“how did i know what?” he says, lowering the heat of the burner and turning fully to face you.

“how did you know i had a bad day?” you tuck your face into his chest.

“i didn’t, it’s just been a while since we’ve had a night in together,”

𖡼 reader + h on their honeymoon ✿

“Did I tell you how gorgeous you looked tonight?” He said, breaking the comfortable silence of the room. You chuckled.

“Once or twice. You looked rather dashing yourself, you know.” You said, walking up to the closet to hang your dress for safe keeping. You smiled softly at the dress, brushing your hand gently down to lace detailing on the skirt. You felt Harry’s arms wrap around your waist and he rested his chin in the crook of your neck.

𖡼 sleeping on harry's c cups ✿

“You tryna get me undressed for you, H? I never thought you’d be such a whore.”

Harry laughed, “If you weren’t about to fall asleep in my arms, I’d be happy to be your whore,” he moved to unbutton your jeans, “but you are, so I’ll have to be your whore another time.”

𖡼 him worrying you'll get cold ✿

“Y/N it’s barely five degrees outside, please just put on a jacket,”

“i am wearing a jacket!”

“another jacket!”