#and when faced with it

[fairydust-stuff]

Utena meets American psycho movie crossover.

So me and my friend Gurru on Discord came up with this fun crack scenario together.

So Akio goes on some american buiness trip and pisses off Patrick batemen. Since this is a post-movie Patrick, now more insane, follows Akio back to Ohtori. Cue monologue about music axe raised, etc...except Akio gets up five minutes later.

Patrick: ( raseing axe over and over): Why won't you fucking die! die die die! ( Akio whimpering and terrified but still breathing).

So Patrick settles into Ohtori with the sole purpose of figuring out how to kill Akio for good. He gets a finance teacher job on an extended vacation to complete this goal.

He gets weirdly attached to Anthy because she drops the rose bride mask to tell him not to touch her groom. ( Aka utena.) And finally, acknowledgment!

Patrick: I know of a little Italian place?

Anthy: (Thinking) I want to die.

Someone: She's fourteen!

Patrick: Of course, that would be really weird and inappropriate. (backs off and remembers Anthy is 14).

Patrick randomly confesses way too much to Anthy, who is counting down the seconds until Akio gives her the go-ahead to get rid of this guy.

Akio can't snap his fingers and get rid of Patrick for once because he's from Wall Street and way bigger than Akio. But he's not happy being hunted by this yuppie psycho. What do you mean there's no evidence Patrick Bateman killed anyone?

Patrick's hobbies include going off campus to pick up and kill women.

Nanami and Saionji catch on to Patrick being a serial killer. Saionji starts following Touga around with a big steel sword strapped to his back. Shooting Patrick death glares every five minutes. Nanami and her girl posse are constantly spying on him.

Saionji ( see's the bloody garbage bags): Is that sensi Kenzaki! What did that poor women to do you?

(Next day Mrs Kenzaki shows up completely fine.)

Patrick: ( Just sits there and silently seethes)

Goes to the stuco room to blow off some steam.

Nanami: Wait, I know the secret of getting into the exclusive high-end restaurant Patrick can't enter. (as she presses a dagger to his throat).

Patrick ( drops chainsaw aimed at Touga): I'm listening.

Juri: ( stabs his ass.)

Miki: ( terrified in the corner)

Touga is absolutely the kind of person Patrick would feel murderous rage towards. I don't think I need to elaborate on why Touga would get under his skin.

So I can see Saionji snapping and killing Patrick. Patrick tries to bond with him over the feeling of taking a life but Saionji feels sick about the whole thing.

Patrick being trapped in the same spiral gets a hint of self awareness.them goes to counseling which ends up in a crack tastic senario. Since he walks in on Mikage talking to Saionji.

Mikage: ( in the elevator behind the screen) And once number thirty four went up in flames. I realized just how easy to was to....

Saionji ( sitting in the elevator with fifty yard stare): I came to get help from him!

Patrick: While you're here, i think we should have a conversation.

Saionji: NO! i don't want to know what goes on in you're head! You're the reason i'm here!

Patrick ignores him and starts monologing. Starts following Saionji to his dorm a day later. ( not even talking about his issues just random ramblings like in the movie.)

Saionji after three days does a bunch of reading asks Miki questions and when Patrick shows up.

Saionji: Shut up you are wrong about everything! you conceited bastard! Hip to be square is a satire on social conformity. You're reading of everything is trite, surface level and boring! ( proceeds to fact check him on every topic he's spoken of.) You don't actually like any of it.

Patrick( reaches for a weapon.)

Saionji: ( hand on sword) Go ahead and try it!

Patrick: That sword won't save you Saionji. I once killed a whore from six stories up.

Saionji: Go, on then kill me but i'm still right.

Patrick: (disarms him and puts his hand near his throat. Then after a tense moment releases Saionji.)

Me and Guru debated how it ends we went with the idea Patrick walks out of Ohtori ready to leave the system after working on himself. But Gurur's idea was Patrick gets arrested right after he leaves. But I thought that went aginst both settings.

[bitchfitch]

writing advice for characters with a missing eye: dear God does losing an eyes function fuck up your neck. Ever since mine crapped out I've been slowly and unconsciously shifting towards holding my head at an angle to put the good eye closer to the center. and human necks. are not meant to accommodate that sorta thing.

[mossing-around]

You know those posts about one of Bruce’s kids getting kidnapped and him having no idea which kid they have based on the vague descriptions he’s given? Well now I can’t only imagine Bruce getting the dreaded call and immediately pulling out a guess who board filled entirely with his kids. Like

kidnapper: we have one of your children

Bruce: I have so many of those you need to be more specific

kidnapper: the loud and annoying one

Bruce, flipping down Cass and Duke: that does not help as much as you think it does

kidnapper: well he has black hair?

Bruce, flips down Steph: keep going

kidnapper: uhhhh? He’s short?

Bruce, flips down Dick and Jason leaving Tim and Damian: more specific

kidnapper: he’s been condescending and judgmental since we got him

Bruce: yeah they both tend to do that

kidnapper: he keeps throwing around words I don’t understand

Bruce, realizing that Damian and Tim are significantly more similar than he thought: uhh more specific?

kidnapper: more?? look just wore us the mon— WHERE’D HE HIDE A KATANA???

Bruce: ah you have Damian

[paintedcrows]

Whenever Bill sees KingOfNJ's fics through Stan's eyes he just thinks they have the same taste in fanfiction (disgusting. unthinkable) continued

[bloodmoonlich]

[wholesalerats]

Stressful text chat with my mother this morning

[claypigeonpottery]

a kinetic sculpture by Tim Lewis

I know it’s not pottery but it is sculptural and holy shit

it’s beautiful and disturbing and I feel like I could stumble across this creature in a forest and never be seen again???

[rooniearts]

i think the real secret behind shadow hunting tails for sport for no reason should be that he just has severe levels of cuteness aggression towards him

[valtsv]

being someone who's passionate about their interests when you're a horror fan really is a special layer of hell because every interaction you have with another person where the conversation turns to your hobbies and personal entertainments is a trial where if you show too much unrepentant glee at getting an opportunity to talk about your preferred subject you get to watch them mentally move you onto their list of untrustworthy individuals to avoid in the future in real time

[yourfavoritehouseplant]

"Culinary students will literally have a spaghetti due at 8" "Art students will literally turn in some shapes at the end of the week" Well I have 40 insects due next month. If you even care.

[theorphicangel]

thinking about doing that tiktok trend with satoru where you pretend to be another woman that goes up to him in public but he fails every time…

not because he’s unfaithful but because he keeps forgetting that you’re pretending to be someone else and he can’t stand being mean to you.

“wait no I can’t do this— so you’re someone else?”

“yes you can just use that vivid imagination of yours to pretend I’m someone else”

“oh okay.” satoru tries to focus, getting back into his ‘acting’ mode. “let’s try again”

you go back to your starting position and walk towards him with the purpose of toppling into him.

“oh sorry!! wow you’re soooooo handsome, I didn’t mean to bump into you, can I get your number?” you run your hands over his biceps, keeping up your flirtatious gaze

“No. Stay away. I have a beautiful girlfriend waiting for me at home actually.”

“Oh do you?” You cross your arms, meeting his eyes. There’s a playful smirk on your face as you tease him.

and because it’s you Satoru can’t help but smile at your face.

“Satoru!!” you slap him lightly, “you failed. again.”

“But you’re really pretty right now baby, I can’t help but get distracted, I’m sorry!”

[marypsue]

Keep seeing that post where OP starts like 'Thinking about...grieving the undead' and then adds on about like. Real life situations where people have not died but have left your life and you would have reason to grieve them.

All respect, that's an important concept, but that is not what I am thinking about when I read 'grieving the undead'.

[taxevasionismyfavactivity]

this is what happened

live beasts reaction btw

[arcanefanpage]

And just for a moment they both recognized their sister

[dimeadozencows]

You know it's over for you when you can draw a whole page of only one character

Shamelessly plugging (pun intended) my Ramb essay on my most popular post of him lol. (Check it out if you want, I think it turned out neat!!)

[discofama]

The joke wasn't funny at all they're just very drunk